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Patty O'Green
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God of Thunder hits, and Thunderkid makes his way to the ring. COLE United States title on the line in a match announced earlier tonight, let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the OAOAST United States championship! Making his way to the ring, the challenger! From Green Bay, Wisconsin, weighing in at 250 pounds, representing the Deadly Alliance...THHHHHHHHHHHHHHhUNNNNNNNNNNNNNDERKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID!!!!! COLE And we found out earlier tonight that this match was requested following the Chi-Town Spectacular, as the Deadly Alliance wants the U.S. title under their wing! TK prepares in the ring, as Master Blaster (Jammin') hits, and Denzel Spencer makes his way out, signaling his pyro with his maracas. BUFFER His opponent...from Montego Bay, Jamaica, weighing in at 227 pounds...he is the OAOAST United States champion...DENNNNNNZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL SSSSSSSPENCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! Denzel slides inside, and immediately ducks a clothesline from TK, and delivers right hands! *DING DING DING* COLE And here we go! Denzel hammers TK in a corner, then brings him out and attempts an Irish whip. TK reverses, but gets caught with a headscissor takedown! Denzel quickly follows with a dropkick, then runs to the ropes, and delivers a spinning wheel kick! COLE Denzel with a flurry here, and this thing could be over quickly! TK sits up on the mat, and Denzel hits him with a seated dropkick! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Denzel backs TK into the corner again, and fires off some quick kicks. He then attempts to whip him across, but TK reverses and charges, only to run into the foot of Denzel! Denzel then backs into the ropes, and catches TK as he staggers out with a bulldog! COACH Oh, come on, TK! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE It's all Denzel, as TK has never even got out of the blocks here! Denzel whips TK into the ropes, but puts his head down, and TK delivers a kick. COLE And TK's first offense comes off a mistake made by Denzel! TK follows with a European uppercut, then clotheslines Denzel over the top to the floor! COLE And TK sends Denzel out to the floor, he may want to stay in the ring and regroup! TK pauses briefly, then follows Denzel outside, dropping him sternum-first across the guardrail! COACH OK, now we're cookin'! TK slides halfway inside to break the count, then slides back out and delivers some European uppercuts, then tosses him back inside. TK whips Denzel into the ropes, and catches him with a hard clothesline! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! TK backs Denzel into a corner, and stomps him down, then poses, drawing boos. TK goes back after Denzel, delivering a right hand, but Denzel fires back with rights of his own! COLE And Denzel starting to mount a comeback! Denzel's comeback is broken up, however, when TK delivers a thrust to the throat! COACH You were saying? COLE TK with a cheap shot to put a stop to that! TK tosses Denzel to the floor, then follows him out and tosses him into the steps, before tossing him back inside. TK positions Denzel, then climbs to the top. COLE TK going upstairs, you don't see this much from him anymore! TK attempts a SWANTON BOMB~!, but Denzel rolls out of the way! COLE And nobody home! With both men down, the referee begins a count... 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! Both men start to turn over and get to their feet, engaging in a slugfest. Denzel comes out on top, then attempts an Irish whip. Denzel slides between the legs of TK, then gets to his feet and floors him with a jumping sidekick! TK backs into a corner, and Denzel hits him with a handspring elbow! COACH I don't like the looks of this... Denzel catches TK with a gutwrench belly-to-belly, then climbs to the top rope, waiting for him to get to his feet...and hits a MISSILE DROPKICK! COLE Denzel off the top! 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! COACH Phew! Spencer attempts to whip TK out of a corner, but TK blocks, then reverses Denzel back into the corner...where he squashes the referee! COLE Uh-oh, the referee takes a shot! TK takes back over on Denzel, then calls to the back, where Mr. Dick runs out. TK holds Denzel, and MD backs into the ropes...but Spencer moves, and TK takes a clothesline! COACH No! COLE Another miscue between TK and MD! Denzel hammers away on MD, while Sandman9000 slides a barbed-wire bat into the ring. When Denzel returns his attention to TK, TK catches him with a drop toe hold onto the bat! COLE TK with a drop toe hold, right onto that bat that Sandman gave him! TK then picks up Denzel, and executes the THUNDERBOLT DDT~!!!!!11111 COLE And TK hits his move! TK covers, just as the referee comes to... 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COACH YES~! COLE And we've got a new United States champion! BUFFER The winner of the match...and NEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW OAOAST United States champion...THHHHHHHHHHHHHHhUNNNNNNNNNNNNNDERKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID!!!!! COLE Denzel had the deck stacked against him in this match! COACH TK can kiss that slump goodbye now, he's the new U.S. champion! MD and TK make their way from ringside, as Sandman slides into the ring, and clobbers him with the barbed-wire bat for good measure! COLE Hey, that was uncalled for! Sandman joins MD and TK in the aisle, where TK raises his belt in the air. COLE It took all three of those guys you see on your screen to make it happen, but a new United States champion has been crowned, and his name is Thunderkid!
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OAOAST HeldDOWN is brought to you by MAGGIE NERDLY FOR CANON Coming back from break Terry Taylor stands in the interview area (what happened to the interview lounge???) with world champion Krista Isadora Duncan. The fitness queen dresses in this stylish outfit TERRY Hey there, everybody, Terry Taylor here with brand new OAOAST world champion, Krista Isadora Duncan! Krista how does it feel to be redeemed and free of any curses or ties to Theodore Moneymaker? KRISTA On Tuesday I was awoken at six am by a nineteen year old and a thirteen year old arguing about how much money they’d get when I died. The curse lives on! But it feels great, I can go down on Alix without fear of being swallowed into some dimensional vortex. I wish she could say the same, but a woman’s body changes as she gets older. The peace of pain free oral sex, is the greatest peace of all. TERRY Krista, what do you have to say in response to Leon Rodez’s earlier intervuew? KRISTA Leon Rodez has a problem with me and my behavior. I have a problem with Jessica Alba’s behavior of wearing clothes, but am I damning her and her refusal to expose her bare breasts? Have I gotten on TV and publicly bemoaned her not accepting my invitation for a private lap dance, I don’t think I have. Leon has tried to insinuate to the world that sweet, kind, and gentle little Krissy is a mean, nasty, hell spawned bitch sort of like Joan Rivers. I ask you Terry when that guy cut me off on the 101 last week, did I force my eldest daughter to begin chucking eggs at his car? Yes. Did I follow him home and threaten my youngest daughter with being written out the will if she didn’t hurl flaming bags of dog feces at his windows? Yes. Did I trick you into thinking those charboiled pices of feces were actually bbq’ed chicken mcnuggets. I sure did. But did I call anyone a name? Nope, and I get some nice points for that. Terry, I know everyone wants this belt, because them hos in the streets love a dude with precious metals. But Leon goes behind the world title. Just like Moneymaker we eclipse business and we get up close and personal like Robert Redford…dated reference, I am a fool, plz kill me at once. Leon believes I’m the reason for why his life is horrible, miserable, and many other adjectives meaning bad, hell. I say…ha and ha and ha. Leon is a victim of his own self manipulation. I don’t think Leon knows who he is anymore. Before he tricked the fans into thinking he was this fun loving kid from Grand Rapids that was all about having a good time, loving life, and starring in gang bang pornography. But if no one else knew the true Leon, I did. His brother Dario was a great, great, person, but Leon, eh…I’ve met neo-nazi’s more charming. Leon has never been the good guy everyone thought he was. He’s been a liar, a fraud and a leech for years. He ditched his partner Jacob Lynne when he first arrived here to hook up with GPX. When those two fell out of favor, Leon somehow wound up on his feet with his nose surgically attached to Zack Malibu’s ass. TERRY And what an ass! KRISTA Oh, Terry, its like you’ve lost all hope in life. When Alix and I were quickly becoming the most entertaining twosome on the show, he had to but in and make it a threesome so he could leech off our popularity. When we were scheduled for movies and such and had to leave the OAOAST for a bit, he promptly betrayed Alix for a title so important it no longer exists! Then he completely left D*LUX out in the cold so he could further his grip on Zack’s muscular buttocks in the In Crowd. Then it came tumbling down, and all that was left was the real Leon. If he wants someone to blame, I’m sure the person staring back at him in the mirror is the perfect guy to lay it on. Leon Rodez is a horrible human being and if I had access to a tractor trailer right now, I’d shoot him with a gun! TERRY If you’re going to shoot him why do you need the trailer? KRISTA I like to shoot from great heights. Makes me fell all-important. Finally, if I could get my hood on, then all I have to say is Leon Rodez is a chump ass mark who needs to sit on a curb, drink some Colt 45 and reevaluate his sorry life! TERRY What about your title match with Malaysia tonight? What's your mind state coming into this contest? KRISTA Terry, I didn’t win this title just to lose it before Alix has a chance to pawn it off for crack. I’ve danced this lovely little dance before, and I know all the steps. I am a former dancer for Guns N Roses. TERRY I know. KRISTA And I have two masters degrees. TERRY I know. KRISTA And a great rack. TERRY A fantastic rack! Gigantic even! KRISTA Malaysia has none of those things, Terry. Not even a great rack, because they kind of sag to the right, they look like sad one eyed puppy dogs. Anyway, most men would be afraid of Malaysia. But, I’m not. I’m not even a man. I’m a woman who’s been beaten with a dildo by Malaysia, thrown into a mirror by her, cut with glass my her, tied up and molested by hair, sexually assault by her numerous times, whipped, lashed, spanked and abused, so unless she’s got an asphyxiation kit underneath the ring, I don’t have too much to worry about. So they say its historic that two women face off against each other for the world title. Boring. The only thing historic about this night is that I went a whole interview without properly emasculating you. I strongly advise Malaysia stay behind with her sex swings and bondage leases because coming after my world title is so deadly it comes with a surgeon general’s warning. COMING UP NEXT UNITED STATES TITLE DENZEL SPENCER VS THUNDERKID NEXT! COMMERCIAL
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We return from break focused on Sofa Central, which is let by swirling orange and purple lights. Joining the announce team is women's champion Sophie Grey, wearing a grey tanktop and black denim jeans. COLE Folks, welcome back. We are all set for our Babeilicious Sixway to determine the number one contender for the women’s title. Already in the ring are Melisa, Maggie, and Lorelei, aka people I couldn't write an entrance before 'cause I was sick of writing entrances! COLE We are joined at sofa central with women’s champion Sophie, who will be defending her title on Syndicated against Megan Skye. SOPHIE Bonjour! COLE Originally this was intended to be an eight person match, but Malaysia opted to compete for the world title instead, and Queen Esther was too busy destroying tapes of the “bad guys” winning to sign her contract! Something is wrong with that girl. "Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name" Purple lights fill the arena as “When I Grow Up” plays the little lady with a heart of gold onto the stage. Wearing her trademark purple and white cheerleading outfit, she works the fans into a frenzy with fast and peppy waving’s of her pom-poms. COLE Jade Rodez-Duncan taking a cue from her world champion mother, and seeking out a title match at Angleslam! BUFFER Now residing in Los Angeles, California. The second generation starlet with a heart of gold and former OAOAST Women's Champion... ladies and gentlemen, "LITTLE MISS CALIFORNIA"... JJJJAAAAAAADDEEEEEE... RRRRROOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZ - DDUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAANN!!!!! Sliding into the squared circle, Jade leaps up with pep in her step. Ignoring glares from Lorelei and Melisa, the oldest of Krista’s daughters jumps onto the middle turnbuckle to show love and appreciation for the Kansas City OAOAST Marks. “I MAKE THEM GOOD GIRLS GO BAD! I MAKE THEM GOOD GIRLS GO BAD!” The new theme song for Molly “Good Girls Go Bad” by Leighton Meester and Cobrastarship rips across the sound system. From parted entrance doors comes Molly Nerdly. The raven haired hottie wears leather pants that match her hair color and a yellow bikini top. She frames herself on the Angletron with an imaginary camera before turning around framing up the roaring audience. “I MAKE THEM GOOD GIRLS GO BAD! I MAKE THEM GOOD GIRLS GO BAD!” BUFFER From New York University by way of Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, she is the 2009 manager of the year…MOLLY NERDLYYYYYYYYYY! Molly leans against the ring apron in the coolest most casual pose one can imagine. She eventually slides herself to the ring and makes the trip up the top turnbuckle. She stands there framing up the audience before wowing them with a back flip off the turnbuckle. LORELEI (grumbling) Showoff. SOPHIE Molly! Ma amiee! COLE Your good friend certainly has a new look, kind of a Joan Jett/Paramore type rock lock, and a newer more confident attitude. GO! To un-explain the unforgivable, Drain all the blood and give the kids a show. By streetlight this dark night, A séance down below. There are things that I have done, You never should ever know! And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. Bolts of electricity crash onto the stage with the force and impact of a meteor shower. The video screens across the arena are full with flashes off electrical bolts, as the stage flooring falls under a spell of blue lights. After one last powerful blast of electricity hits the stage, the entrance doors rip apart to unleash the dangerous Morgan Nerdly, wearing a pinstriped booty shorted romper. The 19 year old’s face is full of fury and determination, as she clenches her fist and makes her way down the ramp. BUFFER From Edmonton, Alberta, Canada... she is a former OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION!! Prepare for SHOCK and awe from MMMOOOOOOORRRRRGGAAAAAAANN... NNEEEERRRRRDDLLLLLYYYYYYYY!!! SOPHIE Morgan est une fille effrayante! Elle a besoin de l'aide sérieuse. Can you hear me cry out to you? Words I thought I'd choke on figure out. I'm really not so with you anymore. I'm just a ghost, So I can't hurt you anymore, So I can't hurt you anymore. And now, you wanna see how far down I can sink? Let me go, fuck! So, you can, well now so, you can I'm so far away from you. Well now so, you can. COLE The tiny terror of Edmonton, only nineteen years old and already as dangerous as men twice her age. Morgan slides into the ring and instantly pops up to attack Molly! She pounces on the film buff before she can even think of standing, and hammers Molly with wild punches. DING DING DING Morgan gets to her feet, and with rage on her face, angrily stomps her boots into Molly’s back. After ten stomps land on her sister, the tiniest Nerdly picks her off the canavs. Her hands fall onto the waistband of Molly’s black denim, and brings her down to the canvas with a vertical suplex! Immediately after landing, Molly wraps her arms to her sore back and groans in agony. There’s little chance to nurse her injuries as Morgan slams a dropkick into her black and gold bikini top! COLE Morgan’s come out with a lot of fire, and lots of anger. Growling to herself, Morgan rips her elder sister from the mat and uses a grip on her arm to toss her into the ropes. Morgan puts herself on a run from the ropes, seeking a violent collision with Molly. But none is forthcoming as Molly slides downward, and strikes Morgan with an unexpected spear! Feeling refreshed by that move, Molly rips off her scarf and tosses it to an adoring crowd. “MOLLY! MOLLY! MOLLY!” With the wind knocked clear out of her Morgan has no other choice but to slink to her corner and make a tag with Melissa. “Isn’t that a surprise, you come crawling for help?” Lorelei scoffs. Deciding to catch a breather, Molly backs towards the corner and makes a tag with Maggie. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans scream. Melissa on the other hand regards Maggie with a frustrated scowl. Maggie shows some sisterly love and offers a hand to Melissia in sportsmanship. Melissia seems to be stricken with strange bout of kindness and meets Maggie for a handshake. However, her good will soon turns evil and she smashes Maggie in the stomach with a raised knee. Maggie doubles over, pain rippling through out her torso. Her sister grabs onto the back of her sleevless Hinder shirt and uses that grip to throw her shoulder first into the ringposts. Maggie’s bare skin lights up with red bruises from the attack, and she grunts with agony and annoyance. “LET’S GO MAGGIE! LET’S GO MAGGIE!” Melissa barks at the fans to be silent, but her demand only makes them cheer all the louder. Ignoring the annoying OAOAST Marks, Melissa wraps her hands around Maggie’s waist. She tries to lift her into a German suplex, but Maggie wheels out her lose grip and goes behind Melissa. She then hooks her arm between her leg and drags her downward with a school girl! Charles Robinson counts the pinfall… ONE! TWO! The pin is broken up by Lorelei. Prancing back to her corner, Lorelei turns over her shoulder and tosses a mocking laugh at Maggie. COLE One thing Lorelei is very good at, is getting on people’s nerves. She knows the exact right buttons to push. SOPHIE Elle est ennoyuex! COACH Non! Ell en’est pas ennoyuex! Maggie’s temper gets the best of her, causing her to stomp towards Lorelei to confront her. But, taking her eye off Melissa was unwise; Reject’s girl rushes across the ring and lariats Maggie in the back. As though stabbed in the back, a weakened Maggie falls over to the canvas. Smiling at the possibility of a win, Melissa dives on top of her for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! But Jade enters the ring to destroy the pinfall attempt with a sliding dropkick! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” Melissa springs to her feet, looking none to pleased with Jade’s meddling. She gives a hasty chase, but she isn’t quite fast enough to avoid Maggie catching up to her and sending her crashing to the canvas with a quick face crusher! Maggie doesn’t take the time to further torment Melissa, instead choosing to tag Jade into the match. HUGE GIGANTIC SUPERZIED POP! The cute cheerleader enters the ring with style, sling shotting herself at Melissa with a cross body block! Melissa and Jade tumble to the ground, landing in a pinning position that favors Jade. ONE! TWO! Melissia kicks out just mere moments before the match deciding pinfall. COLE A little close there, I think Melissa may be running out of energy. SOPHIE It is good she can tag out to five people, yes? Jade waves her hands at the audience, motioning for more cheers. They respond in full, chanting her name. With the audience rooting her on, Jade scoops Melissa up by neon colored spandex workout gear. Jade pulls Melissa into a front facelock, and then signals to her roaring fans. But Melissa is able to stave off any lethal move by worming her way out of Jade’s grip. Not wanting to give the beautiful former champion a way to attack her once, Melissia stuns her with a Eulogy! SOPHIE That came from nowhere! COACH That’s the beauty of the Euology. Beautiful move from a beautiful and classy woman. SOPHIE Elle n'est pas très chique. Melissa makes a cover, firmly believing she has secured a title shot… ONE! TWO! But her hopes are dashed with a courageous kickout by Jade! “YEAAAAAAAA!” SOPHIE Jade is so talented, I would very much like to test my skills against her. Annoyed and tired, Melissa has no further will to continue her fight. For that reason she retreats to her corner and applies the tag to Lorelei. The only person happy about that tag is Lorelei herself, but that’s no matter as the raven haired beauty enters the ring with a graceful duck beneath the ropes. COLE Lorelei was the person you beat to win that women’s title, Sophie. Would you be keen on facing her again? SOPHIE Lorelei n'a pas la classe à être un champion. As Jade comes to her feet, she’s snagged inside a headlock by Lorelei. The Money Honey rips and tugs at Jade’s neck all the while smiling a self satisfied smile. Eventually Jade is able to push Lorelei away into the ropes. As the Manhattan Beach native returns, Jade leaps up with a side kick. But Lorelei avoids that deadly move by ducking beneath the hold. She then puts the brakes on her run, in order to hammer Jade in the chest with a forearm. “A cup, B cup at best.” Lorelei says in her most scathing tone. Not giving Jade a moment for a comeback, Lorelei whips her into the ring ropes. As Jade returns she takes the advantage of wrapping her not as good her mother’s but still lovely legs around Lorelei’s neck and bringing her down to the canvas! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” SOPHIE Jade is just so talented. I hope I can have as good a title reign as she.. Jade leaps up to her feet, waving Lorelei on. The Enterprise CFO makes her way upright, but is caught in the face by a running knee from HeldDOWN’s number one cheerleader. The fans give a huge pop in response to Jade’s deadly strike. Happy with her efforts thus far, Jade makes a tag to Morgan. Not expecting to have to face her (former?) best friend, Morgan reacts with shock and revulsion. “OOOOOOOOOOOH!” the fans murmur in awe , eager to see what might be a bloody confrontation between these two. However their excitement is not rewarded with action, as Lorelei quicky retreats to tag in Maggie. COLE I don’t think Lorelei wanted anything to do with Morgan, and I can’t blame her. Maggie hops over the ropes and flashes the RAWK hand signal to the cheering audience. This was an ill advised tactic though, as little Morgan charges across the ring and uses a double knee strike to shove Maggie into the corner. COLE The babies of the Nerdly family going at it. Morgan strikes Maggie in the side of her corset with her deadly fast Lightening Kicks. The moves seem to severely weaken Maggie, allowing Morgan to grab onto her highlighted hair and drag the RAWK chick towards the center of the ring. Morgan peppers her with speedy jabs, tearing at her face until Maggie blocks one with her forearm. This puts Morgan slightly off balance and she teeters sideways. Maggie takes a moment to clear her throat, and then leans in close to Morgan’s ear. Within moment Morgan’s hearing is assailed by a scream that could break glass in China! COLE The Scre-mo! Maggie then hooks onto the bottom of Morgan’s booty shorted romper and rolls her up into a pin… COACH Close up of Morgan’s BUTT? Plus six spank points. Good work camera man. Good work. ONE! TWO! Morgan avoids defeat thanks to Melissa having the good sense to break up the pin. “BOOOOOOOO!” While Morgan is left to try and pound the ringing out her ears, The It Girl rushes into the ropes. Returning, she leaps into the air and catches Morgan on the chin with a flipping heel quick. The blow lands with enough force to topple Morgan into the ropes. Fortunately for Morgan, she needn’t carry on injured thanks to Molly making a tag. COLE Sophie, would you have any problem defending your title against Molly? She is your best friend after all. SOPHIE I would be honored to defend my title against Molly. She has the class of a champion. Molly walks about the ring, adjusting her black pants and staring at Maggie. The RAWK hasn’t any chance to meet Molly’s curious glare as Melissa tags herself into the contest. “Hey!” Maggie shouts, but gets only a dismissive glance from Melissa. While Maggie complains about the tag, Reject’s girlfriend zooms at Molly with a lariat. But Molly rolls beneath her strike and Melissia is forced into a one way track to the ring posts. However she avoids a painful collision by leaping onto the third rope. Yet she can execute no aerial offense all thanks to Lorelei shoving her off the ropes. COLE Dirty play by Lorelei, although I can’t say I feel much sympathy for Melisa of all people. Lorelei tags herself into the contest once more, fully at Melisa expense. Unfortunatley her archrival meets her entrance with a violent reception; dropkicking her away with her combat boots! Lorelei quickly scatters back towards her feet, her face showing a strong anger. But there’s nothing she can do to tame her rage, as it only gets worse from Molly’s second dropkick! COLE Molly happens to be giving a lot of problems to Lorelei. SOPHIE It is karma. Lorelei should not have done what she did. Molly picks Lorelei up off the canvas, expecting to be able to pummel her with quick strikes. But Lorelei has other plans, namely chopping Molly in her chest. “Hmmmm, definitely a B cup. I feel sorry for you, I truly do.” Apparently not sorry enough to strike Molly with the E-commercide (arm trap neckbreaker)! The fans react with disgust, but Lorelei couldn’t care less about their problems and makes the pin attempt on Molly… ONE! TWO! But a recovered Melissa gets her revenge by ending the pinfall! SOPHIE I thought this match might have been over! COLE There’s that karma you were talking about! Lorelei is infuriated by Melissa’s interference , and immediately confronts her. They stand at the edge of the ring trading barbs and bickering as though one stole thousands of dollars from the other. Words don’t satisfy their furor and at the same time they both begin to tug onto each other’s hair! COLE and SOPHIE Oh my! Melissa takes a gigantic tug at Lorelei’s pink feathered dress and ends up ripping part of it away to expose Lorelei’s lacy white lingerie! The busty beauty screams in a noise that’s all rage and horror. COACH Plus one million spank points! And fifty thousand for extra credit! There’s little time to celebrate Lorelei loss of clothes all due to Molly clotheslining both Melisa and Lorelei over the ropes! “YEAAAAAAAA!” The fans have even more to cheer about; Jade dives off the ring apron and pummels the both of them with a body splash! COLE Molly creates the garbage and Jade takes it out! COACH Did you just call Melisa and Lorelei garbage? You, sir, are a scoundrel and a pig. Pleased to see Lorelei and Sophie getting precisely what they deserve Molly nods with joy before turning back towards her remaining foes. Unfortunately big sister walks right into the Deoderator (Armpit Stunner) from little sister Maggie! Molly falls over to the canvas and clutches onto her arm. Above her Maggie only shrugs her shoulders and says a “a gal gotta do what a gal gotta do” Unfortunately Morgan abides by that same philosophy and brings a very stunned Maggie onto her shoulders in a standing fireman’s carry. SOPHIE We are familiar with this hold, yes? COLE It sets up The Shock and Awe! As Sophie and Cole predicted, Morgan flips Maggie downwards with always lethal Shock & Awe (F-U). COACH Nailed it! Morgan goes for the cover, free of interference from her foes ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner and number one contender to the women’s title….MORGAN NERDLYYYYYYYYYY! Morgan can't be bothered to show a single sign of triumph or elation. Instead she stalks around the ring, starring at all the women who tried to stand in the way of her path back to the women's title. Finally she leans against the turnbuckles and manages something vaguely resembling a small smile. COLE Well, Sophie looks like you got a date at Angleslam with Morgan Nerdly. SOPHIE I look forward to it. THIS WEEK ON SYNDICATED WORLD TITLE: SOPHIE VS MEGAN SKYE ORANGE COUNTY COBRAS IN ACTION PLUS MORE! COMMERCIAL
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COLE Folks, its time for our interview with Battle Bowl winner and number one contender to world title at Angleslam, Leon Rodez! Leon Rodez appears on screen, wearing a purple polo shirt and a Detroit Tigers baseball cap. His appearance on screen draws boos from the audience. COLE Leon, thank you for joining us and congratulations on your Battle Bowl victory. LEON Whatever. Don't patronize me. COLE Let’s talk a bit about- LEON June second, 2009, do you have any clue what happened on that date? COLE That was the day of School’s Out the day you won and lost your second world title. LEON Good guess. It was the day I sat on a paramedics table and watched Krista celebrate with her friends and her family. There I was all alone by myself and there she was surrounded by love ad joy, two things I will never know again. At first I was numb but as time went on, I became angry. I never had the chance to see if any of the friends and family who betrayed me would run back to me and celebrate. That’s because Krista stole my world title. COLE I don’t know if stole is the correct terminology. The rules of the money in the bank- LEON Don’t quote the rules to me! I know what happened! You know it to! My world title was stolen, ripped from my very hands by someone who’s made a habit of ripping things away from me. When I held the world title I was special. For that one moment, I was honestly special and then she took it all away. My downward spiral was created by Krista. Years ago when she lied in bed with my brother, destiny was set in stone. The world decided right there Krista would haunt me, maybe to my dying day. She’s destroyed my relationship with Alix, she’s driven Jade away from me, she’s stolen Tyler and Shayne’s loyalty and respect from me, not to mention that she’s taken away my own self respect and my ability to look myself into the mirror. Its as I said two months ago, how can someone who deserves nothing have everything. Krista was born into success, she’s worked for nothing at all. That woman lives the so-called American dream. She has fame, riches, fans, a star on the walk of fame, but that’s not enough. Quite frankly, she wants me to suffer through hell. Its never been a secret she hates me. Moneymaker, Mister Dick, Rico and Lucius, Malaysia, they have no idea what its truly like to be haunted by Krista, not like I do. But now, I’m haunting back. I want to bring Krista down to my level, and then bring her even lower. Frankly I don’t care about marrying her like Moneymaker, or making history like Mister Dick, all I want to do is the same thing she’s done to me, put her through hell. I hate that woman. I hate her like nothing before, and I will make her share my despair. COLE Very tough language. One last thing, what is your relationship with Morgan Nerdly. LEON Morgan….is special. She has….unique abilities. That’s all I have to say for that. At that Leon walks off screen wearing a blank expression. COMING UP NEXT 6 WOMAN MATCH TO DETERMINE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER TO THE WOMEN'S TITLE MAGGIE VS MORGAN VS JADE VS LORELEI VS MOLLY VS MELISA NEXT! TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT HISTORIC OAOAST WORLD TITLE MATCH KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS MALAYSIA TONIGHT! COMMERCIAL
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BUFFER The following six man tag team GRUDGE MATCH is set for one fall! The crowd rise to their feet as the intro to "Like The Angel" hits. As the lyrics kick in the twin Nerdly brothers run out and nail a leaping high-five, setting off a pair of pyrotechnic rockets, one orange and one blue. The twin brothers then turn their hands back, for an even higher leaping high-five from their masked buddy J-MAX. BUFFER Introducing team number one. From Edmonton, Alberta Canada... the team of MARV and MEL... THE CHRIST AIR EEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXPPRRRRRREEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!! And their tag team partner, from Birmingham, England, "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY"... J - MMMMMMAAAAAAAAAXXXXXXXX!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" The high flying trio head to the ring, MARV and MEL slapping hands while J-MAX tumbles into the ring. COLE What an exciting team this is, The Christ Air Express and the masked flier from England J-MAX. But tonight isn't about excitement, it will be about redemption against The Heavenly Rockers. .:CUE: Nirvana, "Heart Shaped Box":. As the boos ring out, multicolour spotlights fill the stage. And for a while, that's all that does. COLE The Heavenly Rockers, making us wait here. For months, Logan and Synth mocked and humiliated Jamie O'Hara, a smear campaign that lead to O'Hara disappearing from the OAOAST. The Christ Air Express came to the defence of their friend, before a masked man by the name of J-MAX appeared, co-incidentally enough from the same city in England, with the same nickname, same build, et cetera, appeared to even up the odds. COACH Coincidentally, huh? Even after that recap, there's no sign of The Heavenly Rockers and the music suddenly cuts. MARV and MEL look on confused. COLE What is this about? The referee leaves the ring and jogs to the back to find out what's going on, which leaves The CAE and J-MAX to wait impatiently. COLE We're having some technical problems here, apparantly. The Heavenly Rockers are here and they are up next, we hope to have this issue sorted out when we come back, stay tuned and HeldDOWN will be right back. *COMMERCIAL BREAK* COLE Welcome back to HeldDOWN, where we've finally got a hold of The Heavenly Rockers and Abdullah. And for some reason, they don't look happy to be out here. The referee is pointing the complaining Heavenly Rockers to the ring, Logan particularly put out about something. As The Rockers back up towards the ring they suddenly get told to turn around by Abdullah. And as they do, MARV and MEL launch J-MAX over the top, HITTING A 450 STYLE DIVE ONTO THEM ON THE FLOOR!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE WOW! That won't make them any happier to be here! *DINGDINGDING* The referee calls for the bell to officially start the match... ...AS MARV AND MEL LEAVE THE RING WITH STEREO SUICIDE DIVES ONTO THE ROCKERS!!!! COACH This isn't fair! The Heavenly Rockers clearly aren't prepared, this match should have been delayed for a week or two, give them chance to properly prepare, tie up any loose ends. COLE This match has been signed for weeks! If they're not ready, they should be! COACH Well something's obviously up, doofus! MARV and MEL stop celebrating and turn their attentions to Abdullah. Finding himself surrounded, Abdullah tries to turn and leave, but finds J-MAX blocking his path. And with no other option, he drops to his knees and prays for mercy. Not from his three opponents, but from the heavens. Simultaneously shrugging their shoulders, MARV, MEL and J-MAX sandwich the adopted Nerdly sibling with triple basement dropkicks! COACH And now they're attacking a man in mid-prayer! What kind of monsters do we employ in this company!? Thrown back inside, Synth is followed in by The Christ Air Express. They shoot him to the ropes and hit a double hiptoss. They then roll Synth back up, allowing J-MAX to come off the top with a Springboard Missile Dropkick! 1... 2... Save by Logan! MARV and MEL take it to Logan, able to send him to the floor with a double dropkick. They follow out, while J-MAX keeps the pressure on Synth. Stomping him in the corner, J-MAX pulls Synth out and looks for an irish whip, but it's reversed. J-MAX sneaks out of the way of a charge though, slinking between the top and middle ropes, then using them to lean back and kick Synth in the head. COLE Max Evade! Once J-MAX gets going he's so hard to catch! COACH And you know this from three matches? Unless, of course, he's Jamie O'Hara in disguise! COLE Have you ever thought about becoming a detective? One that specialises in really obvious cases? Pulling himself out to the apron, J-MAX waits for Synth to turn around and springboards to the top again... but Synth ducks low. J-MAX manages to land on his feet and quickly hits the ropes. Trying to keep up Synth swings and misses with a clothesline. From off the middle rope, J-MAX springs back with a moonsault, which Synth manages to sidestep. But Synth misses again with a clothesline and eats a spinning back kick to the jaw!! Cover... 1... 2... No! Before Synth can get back up, J-MAX flattens him with a Standing Moonsault!! 1... 2... NO! COACH The Rockers haven't even had the chance to get started, at least give them a chance to organise. J-MAX goes to hit the ropes again, but has his ankle grabbed from the outside by Abdullah! The distraction allows Synth the time to organise, and pounce, delivering a side russian legsweep. COACH There we go. 1... 2... No! Climbing to the apron, Abdullah offers his 'spiritual advice' as Synth puts the boots to J-MAX. Meanwhile Logan fights off MARV, with MEL laying hurt. Synth stops to give thanks to the divine spirits with Abdullah before he picks J-MAX up and sends him to the ropes. Synth makes the mistake of more divine thanks though and ends up catching a running dropkick, sending him sprawling backwards and into Abdullah on the apron. COLE The Gods apparantly have a sense of humour. J-MAX takes Synth and throws him into a corner, before grabbing Abdullah and hauling him in over the top. COLE And now Abdullah is going to get a little taste of the action. All the prayers in world can't save Abdullah from tasting the right hands of J-MAX. Sent into the corner, Abdullah is rocked with a flying back elbow. J-MAX then scoops and slams Abdullah, setting him near the corner. COLE J-MAX going to take flight! The Birmingham Bad Boy climbs the turnbuckles and lines Abdullah up... ...BUT GETS CROTCHED BY LOGAN!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Grabbing him by the mask, Logan hauls J-MAX right out of his uncomfortable position and down throat-first across the top rope! J-MAX recoils back towards the middle of the ring, right into Synth, who spins him around and delivers a Double Arm DDT... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE J-MAX isn't going down without a fight tonight. The last thing he wants after all this time is to be beaten by The Rockers. COACH Yeah, then he'd have to buy another mask to hide behind, because he'll have made a joke of his second identity too. Logan stomps into the ring and bosses around the referee, as Synth sets J-MAX up. Together The Heavenly Rockers slap and shove J-MAX around before they set him up, looking to deliver double Percussion DDTs. But before they can do so, in come MARV and MEL. The Christ Air Express rush out in front of Synth and Logan, pulling them down with stereo sunset flips, causing J-MAX to flip over with them jacknifing them down... 1... 2... Abdullah dives on the pile to break it up! COLE Boy, what a scramble there. As everybody picks themselves up, MARV and MEL round on their adopted brother, but get cut off from behind by Logan and Synth. Clubbing away at The CAE, they send them off with irish whips. MARV and MEL baseball slide through the legs though, setting off J-MAX, who blasts both Rockers with Busaiku knees to the face!! And MARV and MEL dive on top with covers... 1... J-MAX cuts Abdullah off... 2... NO! COLE Referee letting this one go, all six men are in there and it's fair game. COACH Great cover for lousy officiating. This match never even should have started! J-MAX is thrown outside by Abdullah, who grabs his brothers by the hair and holds them in place. Smiles form on The Heavenly Rockers' faces, apparantly the only ones who don't see how flimsy this plan is. And sure enough, MARV and MEL manage to break away from Abdullah's 182 pound grip and he gets flattened by Logan and Synth! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Distracted, Logan and Synth are rolled up... 1... 2... NO!! All four men scramble up and Logan gets a quick kick in on MEL, setting him for the Percussion... *SMACK!* ...but MARV breaks away from Synth and connects with an enziguri, stepping up off his twin's back to do so! MEL quickly sneaks behind Logan and shoves him into Synth. The collision sends Synth tumbling out of the ring and leaves Logan dazed. Spun around, Logan gets hit with a super quick Flatliner/Enziguri combo!! COLE A trip to the Pearly Gates for Logan Mann! MEL moves his brother out of the way and WIPES OUT SYNTH WITH A SOMERSAULT PLANCHA!!! Abdullah is cut off, hit with dropkick that knocks him off the apron and to the floor with a thud, his head bouncing off the floor as J-MAX climbs up top, Logan within range... FOR THE SHOOTING STAR LEGDROP!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE Taking it to the MAX~! Cover by J-MAX... 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING* COLE And redemption has been dealt! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match, the team of J-MAX and MARV and MEL, THE CHRIST AAAAIIIIRRRRRRR EEXXXPPRRREEEESSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" J-MAX pumps his fist, clear to all how much victory means to him. COLE After months of character assassination, The Heavenly Rockers have finally been made to eat their words! COACH I... I don't know what happened here, but this isn't right! The Heavenly Rockers clearly weren't prepared, their minds weren't in the match... something wasn't right, that's what beat them, not Jamie O'Hara! COLE No, J-MAX beat them. COACH SAME THING! The Nerdly twins enter the ring to congratulate the redeemed J-MAX, as The Heavenly Rockers pull a Forrest Griffin and head for higher ground.
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Accompanied by Queen Esther, the Last Kings of Scotland march to the ring Bushwhackers-style to the tune of BUFFER The following GRUDGE MATCH is scheduled for one fall. Being led down the aisle by QUEEN ESTHER… Europe’s finest athletes, at a total combine weight of 430 pounds… DANNY BOY and SCOTTISH SCOTT… THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The Last Kings terrorize folks ringside. COLE Watch out here. These guys are nuts. Queen Esther overhears Cole’s remark and confronts him. QUEEN ESTHER I believe you meant they’re handsome, brave and strong! COLE Whatever you say. I don’t want any problems. COACH Don’t worry, Cole. I’m sure you’d love those nuts. “Citizen Soldier” by 3 Doors Down cues and Citizen Soldiers make their way ringside. BUFFER Their opponents serve the public’s trust, protect the innocent and uphold the law. They are TIM CASH and BARON WINDELS… CITIZEN SOOOOLDIERS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Cash and BW acknowledge the cheers with a MIGHTY FIST PUMP~! COLE A rivalry that began in March ends tonight as the Last Kings of Scotland and Citizen Soldiers settle the score once and for all. COACH I, for one, look forward to the end of bloodshed caused throughout this great land of ours by Citizen Soldiers, Cole. The government warned about people like them. COLE The first to enter the ring, BW is greeted by Scottish Scott. And it’s not a warm greeting either. The two men slug it out while Danny Boy pummels Cash. * DINGDINGDING * Citizen Soldiers reverse a pair of whips and backdrop the Last Kings. Cash whips Scott towards BW for THE BIG BOOT, and then Danny for THE BUTT BUMP! COLE BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS! The cover. ONE! KICKOUT! BW tags Cash and whips Danny into the ropes. He drops down and Cash smacks Danny with a BACKBRAIN WHEELKICK! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Danny escapes a suplex and executes a PUMP HANDLE FALLAWAY SLAM! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Danny rams Cash into the knee of Scott and tags out. Scott clubs Cash hard across the chest. Again. And again. Scott calls Danny in and they floor Cash with a double elbow smash! COLE Double Cowboy Bebop elbow, a page out of BW‘s playbook. You know that had to tick him off. COACH Yeah, he’s jealous the Last Kings executed that move better than he ever has. Old fashion backbreaker leads to a pin attempt. The count. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Danny receives the tag and nails Cash, who’s being held by Scott, with a middle rope knee to the ribcage! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Danny rams Cash into the buckle, then delivers a series of corner shoulder thrusts. Irish whip, but Cash puts on the brakes and nails oh Danny Boy with an ENZIGURI~! SCHOOL BOY! ONE! TWO! SAVE BY SCOTT! Scott fires Cash off and presses him into the air…and Cash DROPKICKS him on the way down! Citizen Soldiers tag. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" BW unloads with rapid-fire Cowboy Bebop elbows and slams both Last Kings. MYSPACE COMEBACK knocks Scott outside, and then BW catches Danny with a TOP ROPE LARIAT! COLE It’s Clobbering Time! The cover. ONE! TWO! THR-- NO, FOOT ON THE ROPES! WHICH QUEEN ESTHER PLACE THERE! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BARON QUEEN ESTHER COACH Look at that big brute picking on somebody half his size. COLE Queen Esther shouldn’t have interfered in the first place. If she makes that a habit then she’ll really have problems one of these days. BW ducks a blindside attack and executes a fall away slam, a/k/a THE DEVIL’S ADDICTION! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Danny reverses a whip and Scott knees BW in the back. Dropkick follows and Danny makes the cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! The Last Kings tag and Scott lays the boots to BW. Irish whip, and Scott delivers a clubbing clothesline! As customary following a nasty strike, Scott clubs his chest…and then drops a knee on BW’s chest! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! The Last Kings tag, then head up top after Scott slams BW. COACH Highland Farewell? COLE I think you may be right. They hit this and it’ll be all over. But BW avoids the double leg drops and tags Cash! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" MISSLE DROPKICK levels both Last Kings, and BW clotheslines Scott over the top! Cash plants Danny mid-ring with a running suplex, then locks on THE MIDWEST SLING! BW stands guard. Danny taps. * DINGDINGDING * “Citizen Soldier” by 3 Doors Down cues. BUFFER OAOAST Marks, here are your winners, the team of TIM CASH and BARON WINDELS… CITIZEN SOOOOLDIERS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Their hands raised in victory, Citizen Soldiers play to the crowd. COLE The bloodiest chapter in the careers of Baron Windels and Tim Cash comes to a close with a huge victory over the Last Kings of Scotland. COACH I’ve got to give Citizen Soldiers their due, Cole. The Last Kings threw everything but the kitchen sink at them and they continued to fight. Gotta respect that. COLE More action on the way! COMMERCIAL Returning break we find Queen Esther backstage directing Rico and Lucius to burn numerous OAOAST tapes. QUEEN ESTHER Yes, yes, good destroy those tapes! They have very bad images on them and I just don't want people seeing them. They could have nightmares, scary evil nightmares with lots of blood and I just don't want to think about! Wandering on such an odd and unique scene, Terry Taylor can't help but look amazed. TERRY TAYLOR What are you doing? QUEEN ESTHER Oh my! You're just in time to help smash up these tapes. I'm trying to save my kingdom and rid the world of evil by burning all copies of the Citizen Soldiers win. How might children react if they see a replay of that, terrible, terrible match? They might start trying to act like Baron Windells or Tim Cash and then my kingdom is doomed! RICO Hey, mang, you want the kingdom to be destroyed? Is that watchu want, unpatriotic bastard? TERRY TAYLOR Upatri.....its not even a real kingdom! Its just a weird term she uses to describe whatever arena we're in! QUEEN ESTHER Nobody likes a frown clown, trying be a happy pappy, instead! TERRY TAYLOR All of these tapes don't have that match on it. You're just destroying tapes for no reason! QUEEN ESTHER Correction, I'm protecting everyone for a very good reason, so we can all live happy and magical lives where the baddies don't win! I'll sing you a song so you'll understand. Put on the good stuff, that's right! Put on the right stuff, that's good! Take off the bad stuff, that's right! Take off the bad stuff, that's good! Tell it goodbye, yes yes. We want the good stuff, and that's all! We hate the bad stuff, 'cause its wrong! Smash it and smash it good job! Kill anyone who tries to stop us, serves em right! Make them bleed, from a gun fight. We love- TERRY TAYLOR That's um....that's....I got it. Thank you. I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing. LUCIUS AND RICO THE ROOF, THE ROOF, THE ROOF IS ON FIRE, WE DON'T NEED NO WATER LET THE MOTHERFUCKER BURN, BURN MOTHERFUCKER, BURN! QUEEN ESTHER My virgin ears! Last week. As he stands in the middle of the ring, a flurry of boos shower the CFO of the OAOAST, as Anglesault is slowly but surely becoming one of the most hated men in the company once again. Still, with a proud smile on his face, he takes the mic, and makes his announcement. ANGLESAULT Ladies and gentlemen, it is an honor and a privelege to introduce to you at this time...the new, the improved, the REBORN...ZACK MALIBU! "Getting Away With Murder" hits, and those boos are really kicking in now, as Malibu's recent actions against Todd Cortez have left his allegiances in question. Zack walks out, dressed well as always, but with a stonefaced expression, not reacting positively or negatively to the fans response. He slowly heads to the ring, stopping to peer out at his one-time supporters, then continues on his trek. As he enters the ring, Anglesault all too eagerly hands him the microphone, then shakes the hand of his best friend, showing a visible endorsement for what Zack has become. COLE We haven't heard a reaction for Zack like this in quite some time, and he's got a lot of explaining to do! COACH I told you, Mikey Cole, I told you something wasn't right with that boy for the last few months! Malibu looks around, waiting for the crowd to quiet, but they don't, and that prevents him from making his speech. Finally, with Anglesault flanking him, he begins anyway. MALIBU You can continue to say and do as you will, but you are not going to stop me from talking here tonight. The crowd boos louder, but Zack continues. MALIBU For months now...and honestly, even a bit longer than that, people have been wondering where my head was at. They have questioned my heart, and my dedication to this company. They put my character up for judgment, because I wasn't giving you people what you wanted. Well, I am here to tell you tonight that I am TIRED of having to worry about what you people want! That does nothing to stop the negative reaction. MALIBU You see, I'm going to be completely honest with you people tonight, and if you want to boo honesty, then go right ahead. Because in your everyday lives, all you demand is honesty. If your spouse is cheating on you, you want the truth, because the lies could tear your family apart. If your boss tells you you "might" get a raise, you want to know if it's for sure, because you have a house to buy or a vacation to plan. If your kids try their first cigarrette, or something worse, you want to know if they did it because you want to make sure that you cut the head off of the snake and stop it before it becomes a trend and leads to addiction! All anyone wants in their life is honesty, and now that I'm being honest with you people, you should listen to it, you should appreciate it, and you should understand where I'm coming from. Though the booing doesn't cease, Malibu has their attention, and moves on. MALIBU People wonder why I did what I did to Todd Cortez. So allow me to explain myself. For the past few months, Anglesault here has been calling me out on my demeanor, putting my character in question. He said that I didn't have what it took to be The Franchise of this company anymore, and it took me a while to understand he was right. He didn't sugarcoat anything, he didn't try to come to a compromise or reason with me...he saw me in a state of mind that was a fault of my own. I created a false sense of security for myself, built on the cheers of you people and the accolades I'd accomplished, and all the while I was growing empty inside. I had lost sight of who I truly am. I no longer had substance. I was playing a role for you people, and for the boys in the back, because that's who you wanted me to be. Only recently did I open my eyes to this, and when I looked in the mirror I saw a man who grew weak. I knew that Anglesault was right...I wasn't The Franchise anymore. I was weak, tired...I was becoming everything that I hated. I created an escape within myself, but sure enough, everything I kept buried came eating away at me. People want to know where Todd Cortez came in? I'll bring you back a little bit...three years ago, Todd Cortez was one of three people who broke into my house and accosted my girlfriend and my baby daughter. Do you people remember that? The crowd buzzes, as many recall one of the most infamous nights in OAOAST history. MALIBU Now, people thought the past was the past. That I grew to respect Todd Cortez, and considered him an ally. A friend. Tell me now, people, would any of YOU befriend someone who attacked your family in that fashion? A man who intimidated a 95 pound woman and a BABY? You wouldn't, and any one of you who says otherwise is a liar. Many of you would not let that person live to see another day. Or you would do whatever it took to make that persons life a living hell. Instead, Todd Cortez became a hero to the masses...YOU PEOPLE TURNED HIM INTO A HERO! You took him in, cheered for him, motivated him, felt that he was wronged by people like Landon Maddix, when the truth is that Todd Cortez deserved everything that came to him, including the chairshot that I gave him in Chicago! Todd Cortez...you're not the only reason for this, but you are the main one, because it was you and The Wildcards, in 2006, that caused this part of me to evolve. I have a family to care for. I have a daughter, and I will not...I CAN NOT, live a lie and teach her that pretending is OK. Sure, it's all right if she's in the backyard with her toys, because she's a child. She can create that fantasy world. However, as a father, as a human being with moral choices to make for her, I will not teach her to forgive and forget. I will not teach her to turn the other cheek, because this world will eat you alive if you do! This has nothing to do with vengeance, Todd, or respect. This has to do with SURVIVAL. To SURVIVE in this world today, you have to be butthroat. There is no grey area, not for me. It is kill or be killed and I am not going to die for you people, or for people like Todd Cortez. I will survive, no matter whose blood I have to spill. I will survive to show those that understand, those that sympathize, that we cannot be weak. I will survive to show my daughter that she cannot let ANYONE take advantage of her. I will survive to show my girlfriend that she should not be taken for granted, and should not be afraid to stand up for herself. This is MY COMPANY. This man to my left, he's retired, and he's running it from behind a desk, and I am the heir apparent inside this ring. I am the judge of everyone person who walks into that locker room and gets a shot at being a superstar. Some come here to work hard and see where it gets them. Many come here to try and make a quick buck and a quick name for themself. NONE OF THEM, and I hope you're all listening back there...NONE OF THEM, past, present, or future, will make a name for themselves at my expense. The days of Zack Malibu playing the role ARE OVER. For those of you who feel that I've turned my back on you, then reality has just slapped you in the face. Go back to your lives pretending that everything's OK. Pretend that you have enough money to make rent this month. Pretend that you love the person you're with, and not the person you're fooling around with in your car outside you're office. Go back to your fantasy worlds. This is my world. This is my company. This is the REAL ZACK MALIBU. "Getting Away With Murder" hits, and Zack drops the mic in the ring. He turns to Anglesault, who is applauding his speech, and then goes so far as to hold the ropes for him as he exits. Zack and Anglesault head up the aisleway, as we cut back quick to Coach and Cole. COACH I'll be damned, Mikey Cole. It took him twenty eight years, but Zack Malibu was finally made into an honest man! COLE I've known Zack for a long time, and I've never seen him like this. I always gave him a lot of credit for taking a lot of punishment and keeping his head above water, but it seems now that he's reached the boiling point. COACH We all have it, Mikey Cole. Even you could go postal someday with the way we treat you. I just hope I can dive under our table fast enough to avoid the gunfire! COLE Oh please!
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One more thing! Tommy G Vs Todd Cortez is edited into the show
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Niiiiiiiiiice show, read it as I was posting it. Has someone edited in LM's match yet? The crappy internet I'm using will hardly let me get into the show.
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Ya know from my experiences Puerto Ricans don't like Colombians all that much! Neither do cubans it seems
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As I told KC, great job on the graphics! KC gave us a bonus match right here. Wasn't expecting it at all but still really liked it. I was wondering for a while why we forgot the Love Docs are from the windy city, but KC remembered! I'm surprised no one's touched on Landon running his own federation into bankruptcy and then stealing the belts of his dead promotion. Those are assets to pay the courts man! California has produced the most OAOAST stars off the top of my head the California born are: Biff, Ned, Krista, Jade (although she moved to Michigan when still a baby), Alix, Maya, Lorelei, Holly, Northstar, Todd Cortez, Marcellus Wallace, Vinny Santana, Flex Phillips, James Riggs, The Parka, K.Money and probably a lot more. We could have an all California battle royal! How can anyone be scared of new Molly!? That's Kristen Stewart as Joan Jett, and Kristen Stewart is hot and Joan Jett was awesome, so new Molly=Awesomley hot! lol@Biff. I guess super strength isn't one of his powers. is this the first time Biff has been a face? Every role seems to have him as a heel dating back to NRG, who by the way were an underrated tag team! Cool promo by Strutter and nice to get an explanation why Pantera ain't with Vinny V anymore. He's missing out on the party! Excellent 8 man match, maybe one day we'll see the cobras and heyross against CI. I didn't expect the Moneygang and VICE to win this one, that was pretty surprising for me. Good promos and skits from KC, I really liked Bo's bit a lot. A most excellent match by Alf! I thought about skipping to the end to see who would get their career crushed, but I'm glad I didn't because the near falls really got me at the end. I always thought that something screwy might happen to negate the stipulation, like a run in or no contest. But Alfdogg got put away, the student has officially become the master. I just realized the DA is a gigantic stable, I think they're at least at 7 people. The Enterprise is at about 5 and CI is at 6(?) All The Queen's Men are at 5 so I guess they're about the same size as everyone else. Clem is sometimes gone but never forgotten! Very fun battle royal, even though I knew who'd win it, I still enjoyed seeing the eliminations up until the end. I expected Denzel would be the last one to get eliminated, but I didn't expect Heat to last so long because he hasn't really been used at all these past couple of months. Arturas eliminating Bo was a shock to me, could there be a feud there? Has Arturas been around before joining the DA and I just missed him? Like was he a character before a few years back or something?
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BABEILCIOUS SIXWAY TO DETERMINE NUMBER 1 CONTENDER FOR WOMEN'S TITLE!11~!35444 Morgan Vs Jade Vs Molly Vs Melissa Vs Lorelei Vs Maggie! If possible: Krista Vs Malaysia for the world title, if I have the time otherwise I'll do it next week.
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To be posted on Saturday!
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*DING DING DING* (slow and dramatic) BUFFER LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen...it is now time for the main event of the evening! Tonight, 16 men step into this ring, and one, and only one, will go on to AngleSlam, for a shot at the OAOAST Heavyweight championship of the WORLD! I will now name the 16 finalists who will be competing in this battle royal! Buffer pulls a card out of his pocket. BUFFER Thunderkid! Bohemoth! Logan "Usher" Mann! Detective Tango Bosley! Biff Atlas! Colombian Heat! Mr. Dick! "The Lone Star Gunslinger" Baron Windels! The United States champion, Denzel Spencer! One half of the World tag team champions, Charlie Moss! Colin Maguire Jr.! Former World Heavyweight Champion, Leon Rodez! J-MAX! Christopher Patrick Allen! Vinny Valentine! And, Arturas! Those are your 16 finalists! And now, ladies and gentlemen...it is time for the finals of Battlebowl! ARE YOU READY? *crowd cheers* BUFFER Chicago, Illinois...ARRRRRRRRRRE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??? *crowd cheers* BUFFER Then for the thousands in attendance here in Chicago, and the millions and millions watching around the World...there's only one thing left to say. Ladies and gentlemen...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADYYYYYYYYY TO RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUMMMMMMMB LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! Generic music plays, and after a few seconds, the participants enter, beginning with Thunderkid, followed by Bohemoth, Logan, Bosley, Biff, Heat, Mr. Dick, Baron, Denzel, Moss, CMJ, Leon, J-MAX, CPA, Vinny, and finally Arturas. Once Arturas steps over the top rope, the bell rings. *DING DING DING* COLE And we're underway! The winner goes on to AngleSlam to take on the World champion! Arturas grabs Heat and Vinny from behind, and rams their heads together, as CMJ and Logan double up on Moss. Biff then makes his way over to Arturas and attemps a slam. COLE What is Biff doing? COACH ...yeah, not too smart there, Biff! Arturas pulls him back, and grabs him by the back of the head, delivering headbutts. COLE Biff Atlas, already hurt tonight after the ambush from Strutter and Pantera, and going up against Arturas isn't going to help matters! Arturas picks up the reeling Biff, and whips him across, right into Vinny, sending both men over the top to the floor! COLE And there goes two already! COACH Well, so much for Panic at the Disco's chances! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1st/2nd elimination: Biff Atlas/Vinny Valentine eliminated by: Arturas ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The camera cuts back up to Arturas, now with J-MAX in a press slam, and he tosses him down onto Vinny and Biff! COLE And J-MAX gone! Arturas dominant here in the early going! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 3rd elimination: J-MAX eliminated by: Arturas ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Arturas boots down Baron, then delivers a headbutt to CMJ. Meanwhile, Leon and Bo are doing battle on the outside, where Bo grabs a headlock, but gets shoved off into the ringpost! COLE Leon and Bo going at it on the floor, and Bo just got posted out there! Baron delivers big right hands to TK in a corner, while Moss slugs away on CMJ. Bosley sneaks up from behind, and hooks Moss, allowing CMJ to lay in European uppercuts. COACH And now Bosley and CMJ are teaming up on Charlie Moss! CMJ continues to fire off, but on the last one, Moss ducks, and Bosley takes the shot! COACH Uh-oh! COLE And some miscommunication right there! CMJ checks on Bosley, allowing Moss to regroup and hit a superkick, which sends CMJ right into Bosley and both men over the top to the floor! COACH Oh no! COLE Boy did that come back to bite both men in the rear! COACH Only you could think of something that sick, Cole. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 4th/5th eliminations: Colin Maguire Jr./Tango Bosley eliminated by: Charlie Moss ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ However, Moss makes the mistake of celebrating, and is bumped to the floor by CPA! COLE But there's CPA avenging his buddies! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 6th elimination: Charlie Moss eliminated by: CPA ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CMJ and Bosley begin to double team Moss on the floor, which prompts Quentin Benjamin to hit the ring area to even the odds! COLE And we've got a tag team battle out here on the floor! The four men battle as officials pour out of the back to separate them. Eventually they force Bosley and CMJ to the back, as Moss and Benjamin watch and follow. However, another commotion erupts at ringside, and the camera cuts to find Felix Strutter and Ken Pantera battling it out with the champs! COACH Look at this! COLE The Can-Am Assassins are here! More officials come from the back, including some higher-ranking ones, to separate everyone once again. Pantera slugs over some officials at Benjamin, while Moss and Strutter are grappled together as they're pulled apart. COACH I'll tell you what...whoever wins that match at AngleSlam is going to have to answer to Strutter and Pantera sooner than later! COLE Well, in the confusion, folks, Baron Windels was eliminated, we'll see if we can get a replay here... The replay shows Leon ducking a clothesline attempt and dumping Baron to the outside. COLE And there it is, Leon Rodez ducking that big clothesline, and the Lone Star Gunslinger went right over the top to the floor! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 7th elimination: Baron Windels eliminated by: Leon Rodez remaining: Thunderkid, Bohemoth, Logan Mann, Colombian Heat, Mr. Dick, Denzel Spencer, Leon Rodez, CPA, Arturas ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TK and Spencer slug it out, while MD works over Heat, Bo and CPA slug it out, and Leon chokes away on Logan in a corner. Bo and CPA eventually make their way over to where Leon and Logan are, while MD joins TK in hammering away on Spencer. TK sets up an Irish whip, while MD waits on the ropes. MD ducks down, not noticing Spencer reverse the Irish whip, and backdrops TK to the floor! COLE Look at that! TK eliminated by Mr. Dick! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 8th elimination: Thunderkid eliminated by: Mr. Dick remaining: Bohemoth, Logan Mann, Colombian Heat, Mr. Dick, Denzel Spencer, Leon Rodez, CPA, Arturas ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MD tries to explain himself to the irate TK, but turns around into a PELE KICK~! from Heat! Meanwhile, Denzel tosses Logan to the floor, and Bo clotheslines CPA on the other side! COACH No! COLE Logan gone! CPA gone! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 9th elimination: Logan Mann eliminated by: Denzel Spencer 10th elimination: CPA eliminated by: Bohemoth remaining: Bohemoth, Colombian Heat, Mr. Dick, Denzel Spencer, Leon Rodez, Arturas ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bo backs up, right into Arturas, and both men turn around and face off. COACH Look at this, Cole! The crowd starts to get to its feet as Bo starts to hop back and forth. However, before the two can come to blows, Leon nails Bo from behind, and starts hammering him on the back. Mr. Dick hammers away on Denzel, and goes for the elimination, but Denzel hammers his way free. Meanwhile, Leon whips Bo into the ropes, and attempts a clothesline...but Bo ducks, then stops, and hits Leon with a BIG lariat as he turns around! COLE Big clothesline from Bo! Bo then picks Leon up for a powerbomb by the ropes...but as he stops to play to the crowd, he's hit with the hooked arm of Arturas, which knocks him backwards over the top to the floor! COLE Oh my! COACH Arturas eliminates Bohemoth! I love it! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 11th elimination: Bohemoth eliminated by: Arturas remaining: Colombian Heat, Mr. Dick, Denzel Spencer, Leon Rodez, Arturas ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COACH Who's going to be able to get him out now, Cole? Coach gets his answer, as Heat and Denzel hit the big man with a double dropkick from behind, leaving him bent halfway over the top rope, then shove him out, with a little assistance from Leon, to the floor! COACH NO! COLE Sometimes it takes more than one! Leon then quickly dumps Heat to the floor! COLE And Colombian Heat out as well, at the hands of Leon! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 12th elimination: Arturas eliminated by: Colombian Heat, Denzel Spencer, Leon Rodez 13th elimination: Colombian Heat eliminated by: Leon Rodez remaining: Mr. Dick, Denzel Spencer, Leon Rodez ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Arturas delivers a double axhandle to Bo from behind on the floor, then tosses him into the steel steps! COLE And look at this! A sneak attack by Arturas on Bohemoth! What a cheap shot! Arturas then raises his hands in the air, and lets out a big yell, drawing boos, before walking back to the dressing room. Leon leans over the ropes and laughs at Bo's misfortune, as Mr. Dick hammers on Denzel. Leon then holds Denzel for MD, who backs into the ropes, and fires a right hand...hitting Leon after Denzel slips from his grip! COLE A little teamwork attempt there, and it backfires! Leon gets to his feet, spins Mr. Dick around, and kicks him in the gut, then starts slugging away on him. Mr. Dick starts slugging back, and a slugfest ensues, as Denzel climbs to the top rope, and floors both with a flying bodypress! COLE Big move from Denzel! Denzel picks up Leon, and delivers a belly-to-belly gutwrench suplex! He then picks up Mr. Dick and whips him into a corner, and charges...but MD gets his foot up! COLE Well, Denzel was on a roll, but Mr. Dick put a stop to that! MD arrogantly picks up Denzel and pitches him over the top, then celebrates, not knowing that Denzel has held on and skinned the cat back inside! He finds out the hard way, though, as Denzel grabs him from behind and tosses him to the floor! COACH NO! COLE Denzel got him again! We're down to two! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 14th elimination: Mr. Dick eliminated by: Denzel Spencer remaining: Denzel Spencer, Leon Rodez ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Denzel is pumped, as is the crowd, as he backs Leon into a corner, and fires off some kicks, then whips him across, and hits him with a handspring elbow! He then turns right back around, and floors him with a spinkick! COACH This can't be happening... COLE Leon Rodez is in major trouble! Will it be Denzel Spencer challenging for the World title at AngleSlam? COACH Oh, stop it. Denzel sets up Leon, and attempts an Irish whip. Leon reverses, and tries a clothesline, ducked by Denzel. Leon leapfrogs him, then catches him with an overhead suplex! COLE But Leon comes back with a suplex! Both men lay on the mat for a few seconds, before Leon comes to his feet. He stomps away on Denzel, then picks him up and lays him across the middle rope, standing on his back to choke him, then releases. He then picks Denzel up, and executes a neckbreaker, before heading to the top rope. COLE And Leon going upstairs! Denzel gets to his feet, and jumps into the ropes, causing Leon to slip and rack himself! Denzel then climbs the ropes, and takes him off with a hurricanrana! COLE Hurricanrana from the top rope! This could be the break that Denzel needs! Denzel slowly gets to his feet, then waits on Leon, and delivers a foot to the gut, before backing into the ropes and hitting Leon with a SCISSOR KICK~! Leon staggers to the ropes, and Denzel runs into the ropes, then comes back and clotheslines Leon over the top! COLE Did he get him? Denzel starts to celebrate, but Leon just barely hangs on and pulls himself under the ropes. COACH No, Leon's still in! Leon runs from behind, and hits a dropkick to the back of Denzel's knee! COLE And Leon going to the knee of Denzel! Denzel slowly pulls himself to one knee, at which point Leon hits him with the ONE HIT KILL~!!!!!11111 COACH Good night, Mr. Spencer! Leon scrapes Denzel up off the mat, and pitches him over the top to the floor! COLE And that's it! Leon Rodez has won Battlebowl! ************************************************************* 15th elimination: Denzel Spencer eliminated by: Leon Rodez WINNER: Leon Rodez ************************************************************* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen...the winner of Battlebowl, 2009...LEEEEEEEEEEEE OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOODEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" A relieved Leon falls to a knee, staring out at Denzel who lays flat on the arena floor. COLE A gallant effort by Denzel Spencer. But in four weeks, San Juan will see the rematch from School's Out... Leon Rodez challenging for the World Title, against the woman who captured it from him, Krista Isadora Duncan! COACH And I can bet you, as happy as Leon is to have won the number one contendership, he's doubly happy that Krista's the one awaiting him. Ignoring the referee's attempts to raise his hand in victory, Leon hovers over the ropes, looking down at Denzel. Breathing heavily he backs away and gives a narrow look into the hard camera. Cutting away backstage, watching this is Krista Isadora Duncan, with the Duncan family around here. Slumped wearily in her seat with the World Title draped over her shoulder, she stares at the screen, watching Leon standing tall in the ring with a scowl. COLE Tonight has brought redemption for our new World Champion. Will AngleSlam bring the same redemption for this man, we'll see you next week on HeldDOWN as we embalk on the road to San Juan! FADE OUT
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TV 14 L, V PRESENTED IN HD * DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA * Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid's shock and delight. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL!!! The logo bursts through the computer screen and promptly zooms out an open window. It flies with considerable speed over the plains of the midwest before arriving in Chicago! It traverses through all the hot and historic locations, finally setlling on The United Center as its home. CHI-TOWN SPECTACULAR We head into the arena that's full of rowdy and excited windy city fans. At Sofa Central wearing Cubs jerseys are our lovely announce team, Double C! But first we go to a ring that's highlighted by blue and purple lights. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen this is a special added attraction match, set for one fall and for the OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Championships! "We're running with the Shadows Of The Night So baby take my hand, you'll be alright Surrender all your dreams to me tonight They'll come true in the end" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE What a way to start off the Chi-Town spectacular, our first of two title matches! What a night! "Shadows Of The Night" strikes up, leading out Cucaracha Internacional. Leading from the front, Landon Maddix gestures to the crowd with a big smile on his face, expecting them to be a little happier about their special addition. James Blonde follows behind Landon smiling just as widely, with Faqu within reach. Just incase. And at the back, Megan Skye and Nathaniel Black, who really aren't the smiling types. BUFFER Introducing first, team number one. Being accompanied to the ring by MEGAN SKYE. Total combined weight, nine hundred and fifty five pounds. The team of NATHANIEL BLLLAAAAACK... "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL" FFAAAAAAQQUUUUUU... "THE TRENDSETTER" JJAAAMMMEEEESSS BBLLLLLLOOOOOOONNDDEEEEEEE... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MMMMAAAAAADDIIIIIXXXX... together, they are the OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Champions... CUCARACHA INTERNACCCIIIIOOOONNAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" The 8-Man Champs pile into the ring, Landon proudly holding his title to the crowd, not worried by the fact it doesn't match the others. The Chicago crowd let the CI have it, all seeming to wash over Landon. COLE The once OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions, Cucaracha Internacional. And don't adjust your sets, that fourth belt really is a completely different design, colour and different promotion's. COACH That's because it's the leader's belt. COLE It... what!? Is that Landon's positive spin or did you come up with it yourself? *WHIIIR!* *WHIIIR!* "Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case of lovin' you No pill's gonna cure my ill I've got a bad case of lovin' you" A huge reception goes up in the arena for Chicago's own... not just The Love Doctors, but for their partners as well! The Docs bound out and perform a labcoat strip-tease in front of their Chicago skyline, before pointing to the back, bringing out Chicago's own JUMBO to join them! The bigman is thankfully stopped before he can start stripping by Tim Cash, who goes from being a nice guy to a saviour. BUFFER And introducing the opponents! From Chicago, Illinois, the team of DR. MAX ANDERSON and DR. STEVEN PIGLEY, THE LLLLOOOOOOOVVVEEEE DDOOOOCCTTOOOOOORRRRRSSSS!! From Peoria, Illinois, "WRESTLING'S LAST REAL GOOD GUY"... TTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMM... CCAAAAAASSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH!! And, weighing four hundred, fourty pounds, from Chicago, Illinois, JJJJUUUUUUUMMMMMBBOOOOOOOOOO!!! Together, they are THE CHIIICCAAAAAAGGOOOOOOO... GGRRRRAAAAPPLLLEEERRRSSS!!!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Forget about the Cubs, the Bears and the Bulls, tonight it's all about the Chicago Grapplers! The four Illinoisians make their way to the ring, The Docs slapping hands and Cash shaking those that they miss. Big Jumbo climbs into the ring and CI quickly back away, Faqu made to by Blonde. COLE A big homecoming here for these four, looking to capture these may or may not be official OAOAST titles. COACH Of course they're official, Michael! COLE So if the Chicago natives win here tonight, then Jumbo gets Landon's SWF belt which is his legal property? COACH Well, that's a bridge to be crossed if and when Cucaracha Internacional ever lose. COLE Great, thanks. *DINGDINGDING!* With the bell sounded it's left to the teams to decide on openers. Tim Cash starts for the challengers and it looks like James Blonde to start for the champions, but Landon overrules him. And Blonde is only too happy to do as Landon says. COACH Leading by example, baby! Cash offers the standard pre-match handshake and glad to be 'finally getting the respect he deserves', Landon takes it. They lock up and Cash grabs a side headlock. Shot off into the ropes, Cash leaps over Landon, then rolls over the back as Landon ducks his head. Getting his bearings Landon comes off the ropes. Cash sidesteps and picks Landon up off the far ropes in a fireman's carry, throwing him down on his back. Quickly Landon kicks his feet up to force Cash away and gets back up, but gets caught with an armdrag. COLE Look at Tim Cash, taking it to the former World Champion. A surprised Landon sits on his knees and Cash calls the action to a stop. He offers Maddix a handshake and Landon takes it, despite looking taken aback. Pleasantries done, Cash offers a test of strength. Landon locks one hand, but then knees Cash in the gut! By the head he throws Gentleman Tim down, stopping to pose. Which costs him as Cash rolls back, hooking his feet around Landon's head and taking him to the mat! Landon scrambles up and gets caught with an armdrag. A second. And a third and this time Landon is angry! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Cash offers another handshake and Landon glares at him. For some reason he shakes the hand, angrily, before stomping to his corner and frustratedly tagging James Blonde in. COACH Don't ever say Landon's not a sportsman. COLE And in comes Blonde now... Angry at seeing his mentor humiliated Blonde rushes into the ring, right into a drop toehold! COLE ...and that's not a great start. Cash bars an arm to control Blonde. To his feet the Canadian reaches out for the ropes. All four sides, beginning to pick up speed as Cash sets him up for the FLYING WRISTLOCK! Blonde checks his nose is okay after another face-first landing and is pulled to his feet. Cash goes behind with a hammerlock, into a side headlock. Lifting him up, Blonde tries a back suplex on Cash, but he lands on his feet and tries to roll Blonde up... 1... 2... No! Big right misses from Blonde, leaving him prone for an atomic drop! COLE Ooooh! Sunset flip by Cash... 1... 2... No! Wringing the arm, Cash tags in Dr. Pigley, to a big cheer! COLE Dr. Pigley, a local celebrity here in Chicago with his weekly radio advice show, The Love Line. Pigley comes off the top with a double axehandle to the arm of Blonde and wrings it again. Quick tag is then made to Dr. Anderson. Off the top, he hits the double axe as well. Another quick tag brings Cash back in, a double axehandle from him too. Cash wrings on the arm, then points to Jumbo! COLE No way! COACH Don't do it, you'll break his arm! Before Cash can make the tag to Jumbo though, Blonde reaches up and pulls Cash down the hair, disappointing the crowd. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" See. Cash gets back up, but is knocked down with a well placed dropkick, right to the jaw. Running to his corner, Blonde shakes hands with Landon, mocking Gentleman Tim and earning more hatred from the Chicago crowd. COACH Haha, there's a show of respect! Laying in some stomps, Blonde reaches out and tags in Nathaniel Black. Black pulls Cash up and sends him to the ropes, laying him out on the rebound with a hard clothesline. Cover... 1... 2... No! Sitting Cash up, Black puts on a half nelson and applies a chinlock. Cash tries to draw on the support of the Chicago crowd as the hold wears him down. "LET'S GO TIM!" "LET'S GO TIM!" "LET'S GO TIM!" "LET'S GO TIM!" The nicest guy in all of wrestling starts to get some energy going. The fist starts pumping. And Cash is able to roll to a knee. Sensing trouble, Landon ducks into the ring, just far enough to draw in The Love Doctors and point the referee over to them. As the ref goes to point Pigley and Anderson out, Landon then sneaks in and puts the boots to Cash and stop his fightback! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COACH That's what Landon brings to his team, right there. COLE Cheating!? COACH Veteran instincts, smarts, good strategy. Leadership. By the time the ref turns around from the annoyed Docs, he finds Cash back in the hold and Landon innocently talking with Blonde. After a few more seconds in the hold Black reaches up, tagging Landon legally in. To loud boos. COLE Landon's 'leadership' is about as popular as Pakistan's with these fans. Landon stomps on Cash, before forcing him down. A double stomp leads to a back senton, setting Tim for the cover... 1... 2... No! Cash reaches out for a tag, but is a long way away. An elbow drop puts him flat on his stomach, giving Landon time to gloat. Picking Tim up, Landon then rocks him with a forearm. A second. And a third. Then a straight kick to the chest, up against the ropes. Irish whip is reversed though and Cash scores with a Powerslam! COLE Could have him! 1... 2... No! Cash makes a move for his corner, but walks right into a knee to the gut. Stepping behind, Landon then hooks Cash up with a neckbreaker and brings him down across the knee! "OOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Rolling to the corner, Landon tags in Faqu and groans fill the crowd. The big Samoan walks to a neutral corner and sets, shouting in Samoan as he waits for Cash to get back up. Clutching his neck, Cash climbs to his feet near the opposite corner and looks up to see Faqu charging towards him, leaving his feet with a FLYING Avalanche... ...which Cash JUST manages to sidestep!! "YYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Faqu hits the turnbuckles hard and Cash takes his opportunity, crawling to the corner and MAKING THE TAG, bringing in Jumbo!! COLE Oh, my! The two bigmen, Jumbo and Faqu, hold onto your seats! COACH I hope we reinforced the ring! Stepping in Jumbo waits for Faqu to turn around and the two bigmen stare each other down! Faqu rants and raves at Jumbo and starts beating his chest. Nodding, Jumbo backs off the ropes and hits a shoulder block, that Faqu takes, beating his chest again! Jumbo isn't deterred and hits another shoulder block, managing to stagger the Samoan, but not quite put him down. And now it's Jumbo who beats his chest, psyching himself up as he hits another shoulder charge. Faqu is staggered this time, but comes right back off the ropes with a shoulder of his own! Jumbo falls into the ropes and returns with a shoulder! And so does Faqu! Jumbo comes back again... AND KNOCKS FAQU DOWN!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE Jumbo with the knockdown! The two big bulls colliding and it's the Chicago bull that comes out on top! As Faqu gets back up, Landon and Blonde come in and try to ambush Jumbo... but get cut off by The Love Doctors! Pigley and Anderson take it to Maddix and Blonde, rocking them up against the ropes and delivering dropkicks, sending both men up and over the top to the floor! Grabbing the rope, The Doctors Of Doctornomics look at each other... AND TAKE FLIGHT WITH PESCADOS!!!! COLE Up and over go the Doctors and this crowd is loving it! In the ring, Jumbo waves Faqu back up. He waits for the Samoan to turn around and stoops down, lifting Faqu up with a HUGE scoop slam!! COACH Dayyum! COLE Faqu doesn't get powerslammed very often, I can guarantee that! And now, are we going to see the XL Splash? Jumbo sounds a imaginary truck horn, which I guess is the signal for the XL Splash. It's enough to tip off Nathaniel Black, anyway. As Jumbo backs into the ropes, Black comes in and dives forward, clipping Jumbo's knee. The bigman goes down to one knee, picking himself up just as Black throws the big BLACK LARIAT, ENOUGH TO PUT THE 440 POUNDER DOWN!!! COLE WOW! Thinking quickly, Black knocks Cash off the apron and follows him to the floor. That leaves Jumbo down for Faqu, who drops a big headbutt and covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Faqu rants at the referee, who wisely cowers away. "JUM - BO!" "JUM - BO!" "JUM - BO!" "JUM - BO!" Waiting for Jumbo, Faqu comes off the ropes with a clothesline. Jumbo teeters, but doesn't go down this time. Not used to dealing with people he's giving up weight too, let alone over hundred pounds, Faqu yells at Jumbo in Samoan. COACH I think Faqu's confused. When he hits someone, they usually go down! Faqu grabs Jumbo and gives him a headbutt. He comes off the ropes again, but runs into a big back elbow from Jumbo, knocking him off his feet. Jumbo hits the ropes this time, but his clothesline gets ducked... *SMACK!* ...and he lands a Thrust Kick, sending Jumbo staggering back and falling through the ropes to the floor! "OOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH There we go. More ranting and shouting from Faqu follows, not seeing The Love Doctors sliding back in. Faqu turns around and takes a double dropkick. And a second. Faqu is rocked back towards the ropes, but suddenly screams out and aims for the Docs's heads with a double clothesline... which they duck! Faqu screams and charges again, but the Docs pull the top rope down and send Faqu flying out of the ring! COLE Bodies are flying here. Before The Docs can breath a sigh of relief, Landon rolls back in and takes out Anderson, before laying into Pigley with forearm shots. Landon goes for an irish whip, but Pigley reverses. Inverted atomic drop jars Landon and he's held in place for the dropkick by Anderson! COLE Lovematic Grampa, VINTAGE Love Doctors! Anderson knocks Blonde off the apron and The Docs call on the crowd, signalling for the end. Scooping Landon up, Anderson holds him steady while Pigley charges the DEFIBRILLATOR!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" Cover... 1... 2... 3- NOOO!!! COLE Was that it!? No! No, only two! COACH (relieved) Ohhh. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Cucaracha Internacional are living on borrowed time and The Doctors may be about to put them out of their misery! Having thought they'd won, The Love Doctors quickly recover and set Maddix up again. Anderson gets the double leg pick up again, but this time Pigley climbs out onto the apron. They position Landon, ready for the Gurney To The Centre Of The Earth... ...but as Pigley goes to spring to the top, he's pulled down, face-first into the ring apron by James Blonde!! COLE But Landon's loyal lackey, in the right place at the right tme! COACH Loyal lackey? That's an international wrestling champion you're talking about! Blonde climbs to the apron but gets caught up gloating, allowing Dr. Anderson to drop Landon, then drop Blonde with a SPINNING BACKFIST! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" With Blonde in a heap, Anderson lines up Landon. Slipping off his elbowpad and throwing it aside, Dr. Max hits the ropes, looking for the LARIA... NO! Landon ducks the line and manages to catch Anderson off guard with the LUNGBLOWER!! COLE Oh, Anderson got caught, out of nowhere. Landon hooks the leg... 1... 2... KICKOUT! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE But it's not over yet! The Chicago Grappler aren't giving up without a fight here on their hometown Spectacular! Frustrated, Landon lays in wait for Anderson. Hooking him up, Landon runs for the corner looking for sliced bread... but gets flipped over onto his feet. Landon goes to charge in the corner, but runs into the boot of Dr. Max! Spit flies and Landon is dazed, wandering into the path of the LARIAT from Anderson!!! COLE LARIATOOOOOOOOO~! COACH Oh my god, no! Hook of the leg... 1... 2... NO, ONLY TWO!!!!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Dr. Anderson quickly drags Landon nearer the corner and heads up top, looking for the finishing touches. Scaling the turnbuckles, he sizes Landon up, tumbling down with the 450 SPLASH... BUT NOBODY HOME!!! COLE Landon rolled out of the way! Holding his ribs, Dr. Anderson gets to one knee... *SMACK!* ...before getting SMASHED in the face with the Low Flying Superkick!! And if that wasn't enough, Landon makes sure, quickly elevating Anderson up into a fireman's carry and blasting him with the GO TO SLEEP!!!! COACH A one-two punch, a one-two knockout! Cover by Landon... 1... 2... 3!!!! And nobody to make the save, Cash pulled back at the last second by Black. *DINGDINGDING!* COLE And after being pushed to breaking point, the self-proclaimed strongest unit in the OAOAST have escaped with their title! Landon rolls out of the ring with some relief, trying to gather the troops and the belts as the Chicago fans voice their disapproval. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match and STILL OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Champions... CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Gathering up the belts, Landon doles them out to his team at the bottom of the aisle. Black gives him a pat on the back well-done, a rare show of emotion... by his standards. Still shaken up from the backfist he took, Blonde just looks lost as to where he is. COACH Who says you can't come home? COLE Well the Chicago team put up a great effort but, not to be tonight I'm afraid. LATER TONIGHT SIXTEEN MEN CHASE THE GOLD BATTLEBOWL TONIGHT! COMMERCIAL
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Gimme them bright lights, long nights High rise, overtime Gimme them bright lights, long nights Party till the sun is rising High rise, overtime Working 'till the moon is shining Hot guys, fly girls Never gonna say it I feel on top of the world, I feel on top of the world Hey! The pop is enormous as the Pussycat’s Dolls’ pep laden anthem plays Krista into the arena. Like the last time she faced Theodore Moneymaker, Krista forgoes her usual array of sexy dancers, and her usual skimpy attire. Instead a scowl joins her on stage, and she wears her SERIOUS WRASSLIN outfit of purple bell bottoms with a gold trim, and a cropped to chest purple tank top with her name written in Laker’s font in gold and white. COLE Krista Isadora Duncan joining Theodore Moneymaker in both their first ever first blood match. All eyes are on this contest, especially those of the Battle Bowl participants. But this match goes behind the world title for Krista, this match is for her life! Krista strides down the ring, ignoring any offers for handshakes or words of encouragement from the audience. COLE Krista is known for her sense of humor and razor sharp wit, but she is not in a playful mood in Chicago. Krista runs up the ring steps, and leaps into the ring. Rather than try to play to the audience with charming smiles, Krista merely stands watch with hateful eyes in the center of the ring. Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste I've been around for a long, long year Stole many a man's soul and faith And I was 'round when Jesus Christ Had his moment of doubt and pain Made damn sure that Pilate Washed his hands and sealed his fate Pleased to meet you Hope you guess my name But what's puzzling you Is the nature of my game The boos are loud and they are plentiful for the world champion Theodore Moneymaker. But the billionaire is all smiles and class as he slides out from the back wearing a TUXEDO! Slinging his world championship over his shoulder, Moneymaker chuckles at the angry reception he’s earned. COLE This isn’t a formal wear match what’s he doing in a Tuxedo? COACH Playing it smart, now his entire body is covered up. Everything except for his head can’t be subjected to any bleeding. My man is on top of things tonight! And he gets to see how he’d look for the wedding! Moneymaker comes down the ramp with a broad smile taking shape on his face. He rubs his title belt to showoff to the fans who despise him for having it. Once he reaches the ring he forces ringside security to open the ropes for him, so that he won’t wrinkle his tuxedo. Inside the ring he displays the world championship proudly in front of him and declares his greatness. Finally he retreats to his corner and Michael Buffer steps forward. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for a sixty minute time limit and it is a first blood match for the OAOAST World Title! If Krista Isadora Duncan should win she will regain Theodore Moneymaker’s share in FIT with KID, the world title, and be rid of her curse. Shoulder Theodore Moneymaker win, he will have Krista’s hand in marriage. Now let us introduce the challenger….she is from Los Angeles, California…she is a New York Times best selling author, a Hollywood Walk of Famer, CEO of FIT with KID, a four time tag team champion, the 2009 wrestler of the year…MISS CALIFORNIA KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAAAAAAAN! “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” Krista merely stares daggers at her rival. BUFFER And the champion from Vero Beach, Florida….he is a former OAOAST tag team champion, and the billion dollar heir of the Moneymaker family, he weighes in at 236 pounds, he is The Messiah THEODORE MONEYMAAAAAAAAKER! “BOOOOOOO!” Moneymaker step forward to produce a bow which draws quite the negative reaction from the Windy City. DING DING DING COLE One of these two competitors could be soaked in their own blood. All for the OAOAST World Title. Krista gets herself into Moneymaker’s face, spewing numerous insults and vulgarities at her greatest rival. Only able to stomach so many barbs, the world champion slings his fist towards her head. But, Krista ducks the strike and makes quick move to go behind her foe. There she reaches around his head and digs her fingers into his eyes. Moneymaker lets out a blood curdling scream. COACH She’s trying to make his eyes bleed! COLE She just may be gouging them out! Thankfully for Moneymaker he’s able to escape the torment with a trio of elbows to her ribs. Keeping himself on the attack, Moneymaker stabs her well toned stomach with a pair of push kicks. Thanks to her hard earned six pack, the fitness queen is able to shrug off the strikes. What she cannot shrug off, however is the big boot Moneymaker slams into her face. Down she goes, landing on the canvas where Clem Buzzlefoxer immediately checks for blood. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” The Billion Dollar Heir pulls Miss California back to her feet. He throws her into the ring cables, then bounces off the nearest ropes himself. But, Krista is much too quick for his schemes and topples him with a high flipping lariat! The fans approve loudly and boisterously as the tycoon is left lying on the canvas. Deciding that he needs to take a quick timeout, the tuxedoed brawler makes an escape through the ring ropes. “BOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE These OAOAST Marks getting on Moneymaker for his cowardice. Krista is as displeased as the Windy City fans, and slides out the ring to confront Moneymaker. She smashes him upside the head with a powerful elbow that comes dangerously close to drawing blood. Continuing her quest to make Moneymaker bleed, she throws him head first into the announce table at sofa central. No blood appears but the billionaire suffers through a terrible headache. As he tries to stagger away, Krista latches onto his tuxedo and uses that grip to throw him into the ring. Quickly she follows him into the ring, and assails his face with brutal stomps from her white high heels! Moneymaker attempts to cover his face up, but the damage done is signifigant with welts and bruises across his formerly handsome visage. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Krista drags Moneymaker off the canvas, and then attempts an irish whip. But he reverses the simple hold and Krista is the one sent running to the ropes. When she returns, he dips low and back drops her over the ropes. Thankfully her incredible agility sees her land with her high heels on the ring apron. She prepares to slingshot herself back into the ring. But for once she’s too slow on the draw as the money maven boots her back to the mats bellow. COLE A very hard landing onto her shoulder that was bitten by that snake on HeldDOWN. And now she’s faced with a snake in the ring. Moneymaker exits the ring, showing off the “money fingers” to the enraged fanbase. As they continue to boo him, he flies from the apron and lands an elbow onto Krista’s neck. The challenger gasps as the breath is ripped clean out of her slender body. The billionaire then pulls her onto her feet with a grip on her arm. He uses that grip to sling her towards the steel posts. The only thing that saves her from a blood letting is that she uses her arm as a shield against the shiny metal. COLE That was what we’d call a close one. COACH If she hadn’t got her hand up, it’d be game over, and we’d be hearing wedding bells. Due to having two aching shoulders now, Krista is unable to defend against Moneymaker’s onslaught as he bashes her head repeatedly into the canavas. Unable to draw blood from that tried and tested method, the frustrated champion shoves his foe into the ring. After he follows her into the squared circle, he brings her upright with a grip on her bell bottoms. Next he fires her towards the nearest corner. But the agile babe leaps onto the third ropes, and uses at as a launching pad to rocket her bodacious body at Moneymaker with a moonsault press. Quickly, the world champion slides beneath her incoming body. But much to his dismay, she lands on her feet. This allows her to swing her leg foreward and rock him with a powerful superkick! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the OAOAST Marks shout. Krista then puts herself off into the ropes. But as she nears her rival, he leaps to life and strikes her arm with the $Billion Dolla Knee Lift$. The fans boo as Moneymaker directs a conceited laugh towards them. As he continues his infuriating chuckling, the tycoon steps on Krista’s face and grinds the sole of his boot to try and draw blood. Failing that, he angrily uses his sharply shined shoes to push her out onto the apron. COLE So far the world champion has been on top of his game in this first blood match. COACH What would you expect from a Yale man? An NCAA championship wrestler at that. Brains and brawn! Krista slowly works her way upright, but finds little relief due to the jabs Moneymaker peppers her with. Desperate for a breather, she lowers her body and shoots her injured shoulders into his stomach. Sadly, this causes much more damage for her than it does for him and Moneymaker strikes her with a lunging back elbow! The fitness queen is thrown from the apron and crashes head first into the steel guardrail. Refree Buzzlefoxer immediately exits the ring to check for blood. COACH This chick dodges another bullet! COLE But imagine the pain she must be in. Moneymaker carries himself through the ropes, and marks his arrival with another boot to Krista’s face. The pain keeps mounting and burning as the world champion grinds her beautiful features into the unforgiving steel of the guardrail. Failing once again to get any blood, Moneymaker settles for merely vertically suplexing her onto the ring mats.. The Money Fingers go up again and the boos ring out. They grow ever larger when the king of mean yanks off his belt and whips Krista in the back! COLE Krista is wearing more concealing clothes than usual, but that’s still not enough to keep most of her back and her entire stomach from being exposed. THWACK! THWACK! Moneymaker delivers evil shot after evil shot, generating much hatred from the fans. Suffering through the pain, Krista begins a slow roll to her feet. Moneymaker is none to pleased to see her strength and a frown appears as he beats her even harsher with the belt. But his attacks are futile, as Krista swings around with a spin kick that pushes him into the guardrail. The helpful fans rudely shove him back to Krista. But this does her no good as he catches her in the eye with the belt buckle! “BOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE He could’ve taken her eye out! COACH He’s gotta keep that world title, Mikey. The Enterprise has it, The Deadly Alliance, and Cucaracha Internacional don’t. COLE But does he want a one eyed wife? Krista rolls about the mats, holding her hand to her eye and crying with agony. Moneymaker leaves Krista to her painful misery, as he treks over to the time keeper’s area. He fetches himself a chair which gets little fanfare from the OAOAST audience. This merely brings out a smile in Moneymaker’s face as he reaches Krista with his dangerous weapon. He sets Krista up against the ring posts as his plan becomes all too apparent to a booing audience. With their anger rising by the second, Moneymaker slings the chair forward. But, Krista finds the will and the way to move out the way! The chair clangs off the steel, and causes an outraged Moneymaker to vibrate wildly! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” Moneymaker drops the chair to the ground, and stumbles away. Dealing with a sore hand, and a bruised ego he makes his away back towards the time keeper’s area. Unfortunately for him, Krista stalks his path and is ready to begin inflicting pain. Thus the worried champion produces a ring bell and uses the weapon to swat Krista in the face. The fans shriek with horror and disgust as they witness Krista topple over onto the mat. Insantly the elderly referee hovers over to check for blood. The rich champion is left annoyed and angered by the fact that Krista has been spared a single bleeding cut. COLE Krista got laid out with that HARD shot, but still no blood. Fresh out of ideas and deadly weaponry, Moneymaker is forced to resign himself to something as simple as a microphone. With a glower taking hold of his face the champion chucks the microphone into the ring, and sends Krista into it as well. Inside the ring, Krista tries to cope with the pain and drags herself upright. Unoticed during her struggles, is Moneymaker taking hold of the microphone. Her efforts to rise are totally dashed by Moneymaker driving the microphone into the back of her skull. “BZZZZZZZZT!” the microphone emits a disturbing commentary of its collision with Krista’s skull. Buzllefoxer once again searches for blood on Krista’s head. Moneymaker erupts with a grunt of repulsion as Buzzlefoxer signals that the challenger is clean. The champion angrily barks at Krista to get towards her feet, as he readies the microphone for another attack. Though no small feat, Krista manages to get to a standing position. There she’s forced to deal with a microphone flying at her head. She ducks bellow it, and catches the billion dollar heir in the back of the head with a drop kick! Moneymaker awkwardly stumbles forward, as his panic spurs him to search his head for blood. As he occupies himself with this, Krista is able to retrieve his steel chair from a corner of the squared circle. Battling past her aching shoulders and throbbing headaches, she ascends to the top turnbuckle and proceeds to dazzle the audience with a corckscrew moonsault press that sends the chair directly into the champion’s head! COLE Oh my, what a shot! And Moneymaker is down on the canvas! Feeling somewhat rejuvenated by the roar of the supportive audience, Krista morphs back into her typical showboating self. PRETENZ THURR IS FUNNY GIF HURR, YESH? With the chair set up, she leaps onto it, and uses it to throw herself backwards with a high reaching moonsault. But on the descent she unfurls her body to unleash a double stomp directly onto Moneymaker’s face! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” the mighty roar comes from the reenergized OAOAST Marks. COACH Mister Moneymaker, sir, please get up! The Messiah tries to follow Coach’s advice and slowly begins a rise. But this is hindered by Krista dropkicking the chair into his head! The delighted Chi-town fans pop with delight, loving every moment of Krista’s comeback. COLE “Mister” Moneymaker getting just what he deserves here in the Windy City! COACH Judging by your haircut and the fact that you coming here on some hatin shit you must be a no puzzy gettin prescription glasses needin Dragon Ball Z shirt wearin CORNBALL whose never had a bitch, a drug or a day of fun in his life! With one hand protecting his now endangered head, the tuxedoed brawler brings himself off the canavs. But upright he finds even more danger and misery due to Krista locking her arms across his throat. From there she throws him down to the canvas with The Blonds Never Pay A Cover (side effect). The ecstatic fans offer a large cheer for the signature move as Moneymaker offers a large groan. Krista seeks to add to his moment of pain and grabs onto the chair once more. She leaps into the air, and tucks the chair beneath her bell bottoms. Gravity takes care of the rest, as she comes down with a brutal chair assisted leg drop on Moneymaker! The fans put forth another mammoth shout of excitement over Moneymaker’s pain. COLE You have to ask yourself, how did that one not bust Theodore Moneymaker wide open? COACH Because destiny wants him to keep his world title, that’s why. The gods are watching over him. Krista hunches over, her face seething with rage as she awaits Moneymaker’s rise from the mat. But when he stands, Moneymaker strikes at Krista first with a lunging lariat. But the feisty challenger is prepared for that attack, and grabs onto the ropes to lower them downwards. As a result Moneymaker haplessly tumbles over them and lands with a thud on his knees. Krista attempts to keep the pressure on him, by grabbing onto his slick black hair and bringing him upwards. But the trust fund baby counters by snatching the other trust fund baby’s head and driving her neck into the top rope. Krista gags and wheezes, stunned by the unexpected attack. Fortunately for her Moneymaker can not capaitilze on the damage he’s brought to her, as he falls to his knees in exhaustion. But Moneymaker then stifles his misery for the moment, in order to haul Krista outside the ring. COLE In a first blood match, I don’t think you want to spend too much time in the ring. There’s much more efficient and violent ways to make your foe bleed on the outside. Perhaps intending to prove Cole’s point correct, Moneymaker locks Krista into a front facelock. His hands grip the waist band of her purple bell bottoms and he then lifts Krista high into the way. After a moments pause to insult the crowd with his trademark laugh, the world champion falls backwards and suplexs her onto the ring steps! Krista’s lips throw out an agonizing cry, as referee Buzzlefoxer attempts to check for blood on her back. “No blood!” the old man shouts to a much dismayed Moneymaker. While Krista tries with all her effort to return to her feet, the grumbling world champion picks up the steel steps opposite from Krista. COLE This could be bad! COACH This could be great! Do you think Mister Moneymaker would let me be the ring boy at the wedding? Without so much as a second of thought, Moneymaker sends the steel step flying towards Krista! Its only by a fraction of an inch that she avoids the step, diving towards side. Moneymaker looks on with a fuming face as he watches his missile land harmlessly against the guardrail. His furious emotions spur him forward, quickly walking him towards Krista who lies at the end of the entrance ramp. He scrapes her off the flooring, and tucks her beneath his leg. “MONEY TALKS, BULLSHIT WALKS!” he barks towards the OAOAST Marks “BOOOOOOOOO!” their response is heated and full of venom. The fans rage grows all the louder when the hated villain drives Krista’s head into the concrete with a pile driver! Krista’s hands fall around her sore and aching head, but fail to be covered in any red liquid. Again frustrated by Krista’s rock hard skin, Moneymaker stamps his feet as he walks back towards the ring. He digs beneath the ring apron, creating confusion and worry in the audience. Worry soon becomes the primary emotion when Moneymaker retrieves a lead pipe! COLE Oh my! Look what Theodore Moneymaker has there! COACH He has the key to victory! Wasting no time, The Billion Dollar heir rushes towards Krista with weapons raised. But as he swings the tool, Krista slides out the way, leaving Buzzlefoxer in the lead pipe’s path. Lacking the speed of someone forty years his youth, the eighty year old referee is knocked down by the weapon! COLE Clem is down! COACH That nigga ain’t been hit that hard since the Japs attacked Pearl Harbor! Moneymaker shows no remorse and offers no apologies to Clem, regarding him like little more than a bug he just squashed. Instead Moneymaker retries his attack, swiping at Krista with the weapon. But Krista halts the lead pipe’s attack, by stabbing its owner in the stomach with a quick kick. With Moneymaker stunned, Krista grabs onto his hand and forces it to smash the lead pipe into his face. The fans are struck with delirious joy, as blood appears on Moneymaker’s forehead! COLE Krista got him! Yet with no referee Krista’s victory is only one in morals and frustration. Doubled over with hands on her slick bottoms, she sighs in exhaustion and pain. This moment of self-pity proves dangerous, as Moneymaker takes the lead pipe and slams it into her rattlesnake bitten shoulder! The fitness queen falls over, indescribable pain rushing through her body. “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” the fans sing as Moneymaker laughs his trademark laugh and twirls his pipe around. COLE The tide of this match turned on Krista as harsh as I’ve ever seen it. As both referee and foe lie wounded, Moneymaker is free to do as he pleases. Thus he removes his red cummerbund, and ties it around his bleeding head. With that crafty move he successfully hides his bleeding wound! COLE Impossible! Theodore Moneymaker has covered up that blood, blatant cheating! COACH A genius move, Mikey. Mister Moneymaker is a master tactician. The resourceful Moneymaker pulls Krista up by her vibrant blond locks, and proceeds to peck away at her with jabs. After finishing off his punch flurry, the world champion attempts to irish whip the fitness queen into the guardrail. However she reverses his hold, and uses it to bring his neck into her arms. From that position she is able to spring forward and strike him with a reverse bulldog! The fans cheer loudly, but the pain of the move is immense, and she grabs her shoulder to attend to it. COLE The question is how much did that move take out of Krista? Quite a bit as Krista staggers around the entrance ramp, attending to her sore appendage. This gives Moneymaker the time he needs to stand up, and recuperate against the guardrail. Krista is unwilling to allow Moneymaker back into this match. As such she bites back her pain and charges Moneymaker with a cross body block. The force of the move carries them both over the guardrail, and manages to cause them to take several fans out in the process. Krista takes the time to check on their condition, not because she’s suddenly turned nicer, but because she fears a lawsuit. Less legally inclined, Moneymaker kicks the fans’ away and moves onto target Krista. He batters her with clubbing forearms, and continues to chase her with those strikes as she stumbles away. “MONEYMAKER YO MAMA’S TITIES SO SMALL, THEY CALL THE HO TITTY SMALLS!” an old man in a wheel chair shouts. Old and wheelchair bound or not, the man can’t get away from his insult of The Messiah; Moneymaker angrily punts him out of his wheelchair! “BOOOOOOOOO!” COACH Never talk smack about a man’s mama. Moneymaker turns his attention back to Krista, but finds the beach babe suddenly lively. She strikes him in the stomach with a steel chair that doubles him over in agony. Next, she attaches the steel chair around his neck. Moneymaker struggles to be free of this unwieldy necklace. Yet his efforts are for naught as Krista leaps into his body, and drives him down with the KIDology (neckbreaker) “YEAAAAAAAA~~~~!!111!!” There’s no referee to check for any potential blood, but blood is not Krista’s goal. Moneymaker’s clothes are her goal! She begins tearing at his tuxedo, going after the man’s clothes with furious tenacity. COLE This may be the first time Krista has been eager to get a man out of his clothes. COACH Save some for the honeymoon, Krista! Vest, dress shirt, and pants are all removed by the fiery challenger, reducing Moneymaker to just skin, bones, and his money green wrestling tights. Deeply angered and disturbed by this treatment, Moneymaker rushes to his feet, chair around his neck and all. Krista greets his rise by swinging around and tagging his chest with a spin kick! The billionaire topples onto a production board, his body accidentally presses all kinds of switches. While the lights flash and flicker and mist spills into the air from Moneymaker’s button pushing, Krista on rushes him. But her run hits a brick wall, as Moneymaker throws the steel chair into her lovely face. Krista falls over to the mat, and her hands immediately go up to shield her moneymaking (no pun!) features. The world champion takes a moment to rest his sore and weary body, as the fans give him hell for his actions. COLE These two have thrown steel steps, belts, lead pipes, and chairs at each other. The only thing missing is the kitchen sink. Moneymaker picks Krista up off the grimy grey arena floor, and leads her towards a series of light stands. Smiling broadly at the pain he’s about to inflict, The Messiah throws her shoulder first into the nearby light stands. Referee Earl Hebner joins the contest at this convenient moment, checking Krista’s arms for blood. There’s bruises, bumps and sore bones there, but no blood to speak of. This sparks the wrath of Moneymaker and he exercises his ire by kicking over every single light fixture. As if that weren’t enough Moneymaker heaps abuse on the fans, by tearing up an eleven year old’s very “clever” MoneyFAKER sign. COLE Theodore Moneymaker following the Spencer Reiger school of fan interaction. Teddy once again grabs Krista and slams her award winning body into the wall at the base of the entrance stage. Krista sags against the wall as the spotlights roam all around her. But one light suddenly goes out, all due to Moneymaker hoisting it onto his shoulders! COLE He wouldn’t do that. He can’t. He could very well cause severe brain damage to a woman he’s trying to marry. COACH That’s okay, if she shuts up then its easier to focus on her gigantic breasts. Alarming both the crowd and nearby staff members, Moneymaker hurls the spotlight at his possible bride to be! Its merely through Ned Blanchard pulling her away, that Krista is able to be saved from certain doom. “YEAAAAAAAA!” COLE That a boy, Ned! Moneymaker forgets all about Krista for the moment and charges at Ned! But Blanchard spurs himself to Moneymaker and tackles him to the ground with a spear! The two tangle and brawl while Krista sits with her arm around her shoulder pondering the danger she just faced. Finally security comes and pulls the world champion and his former employee apart from each other. This doesn’t end their war of words, and the two trade barbs as the officials haul Ned all the way to the back. COACH What was that idiot doing? COLE His daughter is here tonight, and Krista happens to be her Mom. He wouldn’t dare let her see Krista get mangled by a spotlight. Good for him, I say. Still foaming at the mouth with outrage, the Floridian hastily marches towards Krista. He pulls her away from the wall, and roughly drags her to the steps that lead to the entrance stage. She’s thrown onto the stage, laying flat out on the long steel steps. Moneymaker’s face illuminates with a bright smile as his mind concocts a most evil plan! He takes Krista’s wrist into his hands, holding them behind her back. His boot hovers over Krista’s head, and the fans know exactly what dreadful move is about to incur. He dares the fans to make him stop, but chained to their seats, they can only look on with revulsion is as Krista’s head is stomped into the steel! “BOOOOOOO!“ COLE Good god! Good god! How can one man do such a thing? COACH Theodore Moneymaker takes no prisoners. Even his future wife gotta get the hoe stomped outta here. Moneymaker orders Hebner to check for blood, and then goes into a preemptive celebration of a successful world title defense. But the rain comes pouring onto his parade as he looks at the cityscape videoscreen to find that Krista’s face is full of anguish but free of blood. COACH Is her face made of granite, what does our world champion have to do to defend that belt. Moneymaker throws a throaty roar of rage at audience, foe, and referee alike. He blames them all for his failure to draw any blood from Krista. His illogical rant continues as he pushes her up the steel steps and onto the entrance stage. He points to his visage on the video screens and proclaims to the OAOAST Marks that he is a wrestling god! “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” Ignoring the wrath of the fans, Moneymaker pulls Krista onto her feet. Still dazed Krista can do nothing to prevent him from placing her onto his shoulders in a standing fireman’s carry. COLE If he was Landon Maddix we’d say he’s going to for the GTS but I think Moneymaker is going to throw onto the lights down bellow! Moneymaker certainly tries that horrible tactic. However as he steps forward Krista finds the will to slip free of his clutches! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” A monumentally frustrated Moneymaker turns around to strike his slippery opponent with a discus punch. But as he rotates, Krista snatches onto his tights and his pitch black hair. With those two things firmly in hand, she’s able to chuck him forward and through one of the building shaped video screens! COLE Oh my! One video screen lies in ruins. But the rest work perfectly and they all showcase the same thing. The glorious sight of Moneymaker anguished and bleeding atop the shiny glass rubble. DING DING DING An enormous pop celebrates Krista’s bloody victory. The overjoyed fans shower her with cheers, as she rests on her knees in front of Moneymaker’s bloodied disaster. COLE Krista did it! She did it! BUFFER Your winner and NEW OAOAST WORLD CHAMPION….KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN! A ringside attendant brings Krista her belt, and she receives it with the warmth and care of a loving mother. She summons the strength to stand up, and with that rise she holds her title belt high into the air and passes a relieved smile onto her fanbase. “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Krista Isadora Duncan has regained her world title, regained control of her company, regained her life back, and all over Theodore Moneymaker’s bloodied body. Folks, we’ll find out which superstar Krista will be defending her title against at Angleslam, shortly. Coach, who do you feel matches up best with Krista? COACH Mister Dick of course, he's the only one to ever beat her one on one. He's the obvious front runner. COLE The Battle Bowl is hot and it is next! COMMERCIAL
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Final Ride hits, and Reject makes his way to the ring. COLE One of the most anticipated matchups we've ever seen, right here, Coach. COACH That's right, a storied career will end right here, right now! COLE And it could indeed be the "final ride" for the leader of the Deadly Alliance! Reject steps through the ropes, posing for the fans, although not with the usual brash nature. As he prepares,Magnum Opus hits, and the crowd pops bigtime as Alfdogg comes through the curtains. COLE And a big Chicago welcome for Alfdogg, it could be the last one he hears as an active wrestler! Alfdogg slowly walks down the aisle, staring down Reject the whole way. COACH And both of these guys are focused, Cole! Not the usual showmanship you'd expect out of these two! Alf steps through the ropes, and into a corner, where he poses on the buckles, then stations himself in a corner. COLE Well, we're about ready for a big one, folks, let's go to Michael Buffer for the announcements! *DING DING DING* (slow and dramatic) BUFFER LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen...it is now time for one of the main attractions of the evening! In this ring, two of the OAOAST's all-time warriors put their careers, their legacies on the line, in a no-holds-barred contest! There is no time limit...there must be a winner. Buffer pauses. BUFFER Introducing first, in the corner to my left. Hailing from the Bronx, and weighing in at 228 1/2 pounds. He is a former World tag team champion, and the leader of the Deadly Alliance...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEECT!!!!! *crowd boos* BUFFER And ladies and gentlemen, his opponent, in the corner to my right. He hails from Anderson, Indiana, and weighs in at 236 1/4 pounds. This man is one of the most decorated stars in the history of our business, and is putting it all on the line tonight, against a former protege. Ladies and gentlemen, the former two-time OAOAST champion of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLFFFFFFFF DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGG!!!!! *crowd cheers* BUFFER Again, no holds barred, no time limit, careers on the line...there must be a winner. ARE YOU READY? *crowd cheers* BUFFER Chicago, Illinois...ARRRRRRRRRRE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??? *crowd cheers* BUFFER Then for the thousands in attendance here in Chicago, and the millions and millions watching around the World...there's only one thing left to say. Ladies and gentlemen...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADYYYYYYYYY TO RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUMMMMMMM BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! Buffer exits the ring, and the bell sounds. *DING DING DING* COLE And the match is officially underway...the last one for one of these two men. Alf and Reject come face-to-face in mid-ring, and some trash talk ensues, before Reject delivers a knee to the gut. Reject then fires off right hands, but Alf fights back, and the two trade blows. Alf wins the exchange, knocking Reject back into a corner with a big right! However, Reject delivers a foot to the gut, then spins Alf around in the corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Reject then whips Alf across, and charges, but Alf gets his foot up! COLE And Reject running right into the boot of Alf! Alf grabs Reject, and brings him back into the corner, delivering a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! COACH Wow, already you see the impact of the chops from both men! Reject bails out under the ropes to the floor, but Alf follows, delivering a right hand, and ramming his face into the guardrail! Reject falls to the floor, and Alf stomps away at him. Alf then grabs Reject, drags him around the ring, and tosses him onto and over the timekeeper's table! COLE And now they're over in the timekeeper's area! Reject winds up under the table, as Alf attempts to dig him out. Reject has a hold of the ring bell, concealing it from Alf until both are out of the wreckage, then clobbers him in the head with it! COACH All right! COLE Reject had the ring bell, and just leveled Alf with it! Reject rolls Alf inside, then grabs a chair, and slides in, bringing it down onto the back of Alf! COLE And now a big chairshot to the back! Reject takes time to pose for the crowd, then raises the chair overhead, but Alf gets a foot to the gut, then follows shortly after with a Hart Attack clothesline! COLE And now it's Alf with the chair! Alf backs into the ropes, and drops a chair-assisted elbow! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Alf slugs away on the mat, then gets to his feet and stomps Reject to the outside. Reject climbs over the guardrail into the crowd, and Alf follows. COACH They're taking it into the crowd! Alf follows Reject, and delivers some right hands, but Reject delivers a shot to the throat. Reject then sets up a piledriver, but Alf blocks, and backdrops Reject onto the floor! COLE And Reject gets backdropped into the crowd, and there's no mats out there! They end up at the entrance, where Alf tosses Reject over the railing into the aisle. He finds a big plastic trashcan, and throws it onto the back of the crawling Reject, then whips him into the guardrail! COLE It's been mostly Alf here in the early going of the match! Alf then picks up Reject again, and attempts a suplex in the aisle. Reject blocks, then blocks a second time, and executes a suplex of his own! COACH Big move from Reject right there, though! Reject stops to catch his wind, then sets up Alf for an Irish whip. Alf reverses, however, sending Reject into the steel steps! COLE But Alf turns it right back around with that move! Alf picks up Reject, and rolls him back inside, then loots under the apron, finding a BARBED-WIRE WRAPPED STEEL CHAIR~! COACH Oh, no! COLE Alf is breaking out the big guns! Alf stalks Reject with the chair, raising it over his head...but Reject strikes with a low blow! COLE But a low blow from Reject! COACH And Alf dropped the chair! Reject picks up the chair off the mat, raises it overhead...and brings it down across the back of Alf! COLE Barbed-wire chair across the back of Alf! With Alf on all fours, Reject gives him another shot! COLE And again! Reject covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Reject then raises the chair overhead, but Alf delivers a low blow of his own, then a DDT! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Alf makes his way over to the chair, which has landed in the corner. Reject charges from behind, but Alf sees it coming and moves out of the way. Reject runs into the corner...and turns around into a shot to the face from the barbed-wire chair! COACH No! COLE Barbed wire to the face! Alf then lays the chair across the forehead of Reject, then grabs the normal chair, legdropping that chair onto the barbed wire one on Reject's forehead! COACH Oh, this is awful! Alf covers... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE And Reject has been laid open! Reject sits up to reveal the blood flowing from his forehead, as Alf rakes the chair across his face! Reject scoots to the outside, and Alf follows, grabbing a side headlock, but Reject shoves him off, into the steel steps, which Alf hits with his knee and flips over! COACH Whoa! COLE Alf hit those steps knee-first! Alf favors his knee, and Reject zooms right in, stomping away on it, then disassembling the steel steps, and slamming part of them onto Alf's knee! COLE And Reject pouncing like a vulture on that knee! Reject rolls into the ring, and lets Alf pull himself onto the apron, then pulls him in underneath and drapes his leg across the ropes, jumping up and down onto the knee! He repeats this three times, then grabs the chair, and delivers a shot to the knee! COLE And now the knee taking the barbed wire! Reject delivers another shot, then grabs Alf's legs, and steps through them. COACH Oh, look at this! Reject crosses Alf's legs, and turns him into a SHARPSHOOTER~! COLE Reject with the Sharpshooter on Alf! COACH Talk about insult to injury! Alf squirms, wincing in pain due to his knee. COLE That knee obviously in tremendous pain, but he's got to pull towards those ropes! Alf pulls himself, and eventually grabs the bottom rope! COLE And he makes it! Reject releases the hold, then rolls to the outside, grabbing a small bag, and pulling out a pair of handcuffs! COACH Reject's got handcuffs, Cole! Reject slides inside, and applies the handcuffs to the fallen Alf, then grabs the barbed-wire chair, and waits on him to get to his feet. When he does, he brings the chair down onto his forehead! COLE And a shot from the barbed-wire chair, Alf unable to defend himself! Alf drops to his knees, where Reject delivers another shot! Alf falls to the mat, his face now opened up, as well. Reject raises the chair up in the air, drawing boos. COLE And Reject I think can sense that the end is near for Alfdogg! Reject lays the chair across Alf's face, then puts a foot on it and reaches over the ropes, pulling up on the middle one as he drives his foot into the chair. He then signals that it's over, and grabs Alf around the neck for the EULOGY~!!!!!11111...but before he can drop to the mat, Alf sinks his teeth into his ear! COACH Look at that! COLE Alf biting Reject on the earto avoid the Eulogy! You talk about desperation! COACH Mike Tyson would be proud of that counter! Reject holds his ear on the mat as Alf struggles to his feet, then kicks the chair over to Reject, rolling it onto his face, and kneeling on it with one knee. ALF Unlock me, motherfucker! REJECT Get fucked... ALF (driving harder with the knee) DO IT! UNLOCK ME! Reject yells in pain, then fumbles for the key and reluctantly unlocks Alf from the cuffs. COLE And Alf has forced Reject to free him from the cuffs! Reject begs off from Alf, who picks up Reject, and executes a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! He follows up with a T-BONE SUPLEX~!! Reject staggers into the ropes, and Alf clotheslines him to the floor, then follows up with a SOMERSAULT PLANCHA~! COLE And how much do these two have left in their bodies? Alf favors the knee after the landing, then hobbles to his feet and picks apart the announce table. He attempts to ram Reject into it, but Reject blocks, and rams Alf instead. Alf rolls onto the table, and Reject follows setting up a piledriver, but Alf slips out...and delivers a EULOGY THROUGH THE ANNOUNCERS' TABLE~! COLE Alf with Reject's own maneuver, the Eulogy, through our table! Both men are down! Both men are spent! Who will come to first and win this match? Alf comes to first, and drags Reject out of the wreckage, then tosses him inside. Alf then goes to another side of the ring, and produces a BARBED-WIRE BOARD from under the apron. COACH Oh my God... COLE What more can these two do? Alf pushes the board into the ring, then rolls back inside. He picks up Reject, and applies a standing headscissors. COLE Could be a powerbomb coming here! However, Reject counters, backdropping Alf onto the barbed-wire board! COACH COLE Alf brought the board into play, and it backfires! Reject pauses for a bit to catch his breath, then waits for Alf to roll off the board, and covers... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! COLE But he kicks out! Reject picks up Alf, and lifts him for a back suplex, dropping him ONCE AGAIN on the board! COLE One more time! Could this be it? 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! COLE Not yet! COACH I thought he had him right there! Reject then re-positions the board, and waits for Alf to get to his feet. Reject hammers away on Alf, then runs to the ropes behind him, coming back for the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 ...but Alf blocks, and TOSSES REJECT ONTO THE BOARD~!!! COACH OH NO! COLE And now it's Reject tasting the barbed wire! Reject rolls off the board in tremendous pain, and Alf applies the SHARPSHOOTER~!!!!!11111 COLE And Alf with the Sharpshooter! Reject's career could be over right here! Reject screams in pain, as he inches towards the ropes. COACH Don't give up, Reject! You gotta pull to those ropes! Reject gets close, but Alf pulls him back out to the middle! COACH No, no, no! Reject spots the barbed-wire chair, and scrambles to grab it, then desperately tosses it backwards over his head, hitting Alf from behind, causing him to loosen the hold enough for Reject to grab the ropes. COLE And Reject makes the ropes, great resourcefulness in using that chair! Reject then catches Alf from behind with a bulldog, before rolling outside. Reject goes under the ring, and pulls out TWO GLASS TABLES~! COLE And look at this. COACH Oh, I remember this from School's Out! Reject slides the tables into the ring, and props one in the corner, and sets one up in mid-ring. He then sets up Alf in another corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Alf then fires back with a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! The two trade some more chops, then Reject delivers a knee to the gut. Reject then scoops up Alf, and drives him towards the corner the glass table! COLE Oh no, not this! However, Alf slips off the back, and hits Reject with a SUPERKICK~!, leaving him laying in the corner. Alf then charges Reject...but Reject moves, and on the way, shoves the charging Alf THROUGH THE GLASS TABLE~!!! COLE OH NO! Reject falls into the ropes, as the crowd chants. HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! COACH This has got to be over! Reject crawls over to Alf, picks him up out of the wreckage, lays him down and covers... 1... 2... NO!!! Shoulder up! COLE NO! It's NOT over! Reject gets to his feet and puts his hands on his knees, waiting for Alf to get up. Alf gets up, with his back to Reject, who spins him around, and delivers the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 COLE And now the Eulogy! COACH Here it is, Cole! A storied career, but it's all over now! Reject covers... 1... 2... ... 3!!! NO!!! Alf gets the shoulder up again!!! COLE NO IT'S NOT! COACH I can't believe this! Reject then picks up Alf, in front of the other glass table, positioned in mid-ring. He scoops Alf into a standing fireman's carry, turns into the right position...and spins him around into a EULOGY THROUGH THE GLASS TABLE~!!!!! COLE And Alf through another glass table with the Eulogy! Will THIS be it? Reject hooks the leg... 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COACH YESSSSSSSSSSSS~! COLE And mercifully, this match is over! As is the storied career of Alfdogg. BUFFER The winner of the match...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEECT!!!!! COACH Well, technically only one career has ended here, but Reject's will never be the same after this match! Elated, TK and Sandman make their way out to help Reject from the ring, who is too spent to celebrate. COLE Reject the winner of the match, but the real story here now, is that the time of one of the OAOAST's greatest seemingly has passed. Alf rolls over to the corner, and pulls himself up. Once he gets to his feet, the crowd stands and begins to cheer. COLE And listen to this crowd here in Chicago, showing the respect to Alfdogg. Alf slowly walks out to the center of the ring, and looks around to each side of the crowd, then sticks two thumbs up into the air, before exiting the ring, and walking back down the aisle. COLE And Alfdogg returning the respect to this crowd...and making his final walk back from the ring. It's then end of an era here in the OAOAST...Alfdogg's career is over.
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COLE Let's send it back now to our broadcast colleagues for some comments ahead of Battlebowl. And back we go first to Maggie Nerdly, stood besides a suited and orange tinted sunglassed Bohemoth. MAGGIE Bo, big things popping here in Chi-Town tonight. First up, I've gotta ask how you're feeling after that brutal Stretcher Match you had last week? BOHEMOTH I'm doing fine. My knee's still a little sore, but nothing I can't cope with. The fact that I won that match and sent Rodez on another stretcher ride is enough to make me feel pretty damn good right about now. MAGGIE Well that's good cause tonight it's Battlebowl. Sixteen men, one spot in the main event at AngleSlam. BOHEMOTH You know, I realise that there's some good talent in this battle royal. I realise that there's a few big guys in there too. But I'm the biggest and I'm the hungriest of them all! I started 2009 off by beating twenty nine other men in the Lethal Rumble, dumping people over the top rope, to get my shot at the World Title. I went to AngleMania. Stood across the ring from Zack Malibu, the World Champ. And I didn't get the job done. Simple as that. Tonight, I've got a chance to make good. Tonight, I'm gonna smash through fifteen opponents, get my World Title shot again and this time I'm gonna come away with the gold! I don't care whether it's Moneymaker, whether it's Krista, whether it's somebody else come AngleSlam, I want that belt around my waist and I'll go through whoever I have to to get it. MAGGIE Alright, Big Bo, big on confidence. Let's throw it real quick to Josh Matthews, Josh? But we don't cut to Josh Matthews. Instead, we find Morgan Nerdly. Distraught at her loss minutes ago, she holds her hands on her head, complete tunnel vision as she walks through the hall causing her to bump into a backstage worker. MORGAN GET AWAY FROM ME! The lowly worker wisely runs before he can get zapped. And everyone else within earshot quickly finds a reason to walk away as well. Morgan looks around in a daze and collapses in the spot she was standing, sobbing. Hands in her hair, she suddenly starts yanking at it in a rage before striking herself across the head in a fit of rage. Panting, Morgan stops and looks at herself. Still sobbing she starts to scramble away at her boot. With her hands shaking it takes her a few seconds to produce a RAZORBLADE. She holds out her wrist and aims the razorblade, hovering a little... ...when suddenly, a hand wraps around her wrist and stops her. Morgan is shocked and slowly looks up, to find, of all people, LEON RODEZ. LEON (forcefully) Come with me. Not sure what to do for a second, Morgan is pulled up to her feet and without a word, she's dragged off. LORELEI (off screen) HEY! GET BACK HERE! Morgan stops in her tracks, looking back at Lorelei who starts to stomp over. LORELEI Don't you DARE walk away from me! I'm not through with you yet. Get back here. Leon steps in front of Morgan, still clutching her by the wrist. LORELEI I think you'd better get out of my way. LEON Try me. Glancing past Leon at the frightened Morgan, Lorelei looks back at Leon, who isn't budging. LORELEI You know what... fine! You need me more than I need you, Nerdly! You'll come crawling back. And when you do, you'd better have a damn good apology ready. Lorelei stomps off in a huff. A relieved Morgan looks up at her knight in shining armour, who very un-knight like turns and drags Morgan off in the other direction. COLE Wow. What just happened there? LIFE IS ON THE LINE REJECT VS ALFDOGG NEXT! COMMERCIAL
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“The World is Mine” by David Guetta hits and the LDC Moneygang lead V.I.C.E. down the green and gold lit aisle. BUFFER The following 8-man tag event is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, the team of Violators, Intimidators and Capital E-fenders… DETECTIVE TANGO BOSLEY and CPA... VVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIICE! Their partners, representing THE ENTERPRISE… COLIN MAGUIRE, JR. and SPENCER REIGER… THE LDC MMMOOOONNEYGANG!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Reiger brings the team together mid-ring where they all psych each other up. COLE Color me surprised. I wasn’t sure how well VICE and the LDC Moneygang would get along given everything that’s occurred between their respective managers in recent weeks, neither of whom are here ringside I might add. COACH Quit trying to stir trouble, Cole. You know all managers were banned from ringside just prior to the event tonight. That means no Lorelei, Morgan or Molly Nerdly. But hey, never let facts get in the way of a good story, right? COLE I was going to get to that. COACH Riiiight. “Shine” by Collective Soul cues and the crowd goes nuts for Team Heyross and the Orange County Cobras. In a show of team unity, they all raise their arms to set off red, white and blue pyro behind them. BUFFER Their opponents in this 8-man tag attraction! First from the O.C., the 2009 Anderson Cup champions… SIMON SINGLETON and NED BLANCHARD…THE ORANGE COUNTY COOOOBRAS! And their partners, arguably the most decorated tag team in OAOAST history… and the current ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS…CHARLIE MOSS and QUENTIN BENJAMIN... TEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" The guys slap hands with the fans on the way to the ring, but it’s all business once inside. COLE What a match-up this should be. A preview of what’s to come Monday night, August 31 at Angleslam. ANGLESLAM The Orange County Cobras vs. V.I.C.E. One & Only World Tag Team Title Team Heyross © vs. The LDC Moneygang COACH There’s no guarantee Team Heyross or the O.C. Cobras will even make it to Angleslam after tonight! COLE The same can be said for VICE and the LDC Moneygang. Both sides lose their pre-match garb and the bell sounds. * DINGDINGDING * Spencer Reiger and Simon Singleton trade barbs and then lockup. Into the corner they go and Simon is stunned by a forearm to the midsection. Reiger hammers away only for Simon to fire back with overhand chops. Reiger grabs a side headlock to halt the offensive but is hip tossed off the ropes, then nailed by a dropkick. Simon charges forward and is back dropped over the top rope, although he lands safely on the apron. Reiger points to his brain, a big smirk on his face. But when he turns Simon decks him with a MISSLE DROPKICK! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! The O.C. Cobras tag and hit their patented drop toehold/POINTY~! ELBOW double-team maneuver. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Reiger calls for time but gets a boot to the sternum instead! Ned goes on the attack until being raked across the eyes. Rammed into the buckle, Ned is peppered in the corner with Irish uppercuts by new legal man CMJ. Instructed to break, CMJ retreats with both hands raised. But now that the referee’s back is turned, Reiger and VICE get their licks in on Ned! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Come on, do your job, ref! COACH The guy’s doing the best he can, Cole. He doesn’t have eyes behind his back. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" The crowd rallies behind Ned as he fights out of the corner only to be clubbed across the back of the head by CMJ. Whipped into the ropes Ned ducks a back elbow and counters an attempted leapfrog on the rebound with an inverted atomic drop! Ned clotheslines both members of the LDC Moneygang, then wrings the arm of CMJ and tags Charlie Moss. But CMJ breaks free and tags Detective Tango Bosley before Moss can enter. COLE CMJ and Spencer Reiger won’t be able to run from Team Heyross at Angleslam. COACH Who says they’re running? CMJ and Spence are just saving it for the pay-per-view. Moss takes Bosley to the mat and schools him in the art of wrestling, pissing Bosley off. They return to their feet and lockup again, with Moss wringing the arm and tagging Benjamin who delivers a middle rope axe handle smash onto it. Bosley’s quick to respond though, catching Benjamin with a kick to the gut and backhand chop. He tags CPA and the big guy charges into a drop toehold. Benjamin executes a pair of head scissor takedowns, but on his third attempt CPA slams him straight down with a FRONT SPINEBUSTER!! The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY MOSS! CPA rams Benjamin into the buckle and punishes him with body shots. Benjamin returns fire and is whipped across, evading a corner charge before hitting a RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! COLE That’s no small man Quentin Benjamin just tossed like a rag doll. Bosley enters, swings and misses, then is atomic dropped. His momentum sends him crashing into CPA mid-ring! Dropkick knocks CPA back towards his corner where he tags Bosley. Still fuming from moments ago, Bosley charges Benjamin and is hip tossed. Team Heyross tag and Benjamin nails Bosley coming off the ropes with a shot to the gut, which Moss follows with a running knee lift! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Simon tags in and the O.C. Cobras execute a DOUBLE FEATURE FLAPJACK! Simon then goes up top and drops a BIG ELBOW! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Simon tags Ned and the Handsome Hustler rams Bosley into the buckle, then STOMPS A MUDHOLE AND WALKS IT DRY~! COACH Doesn’t that idiot know the rules by now? He’s gotta let the AMOG out of the corner. Back elbow off the ropes floors Bosley, and then Ned drops a POINTY~! ELBOW right in the heart! He tags Moss who grabs a headlock, but Bosley maneuvers him to the corner and tags Reiger. Moss relinquishes the hold and places it on the new legal man. Reiger shoves him off and is floored by a shoulder tackle on the rebound. He floats over as Moss charges off the near side and looks to execute a hip toss when Moss blocks it and counters with him of his own! COACH What action, Cole! I can’t imagine what’ll be like Monday night, August 31 at Angleslam. Quick tag to Benjamin, who hammers on Reiger before whipping him in, but Reiger swats away Benjamin’s attempt spinning heel kick. Benjamin pops to his feet and throws a kick only for Reiger to catch the leg, spins him around…and get smacked between the eyes courtesy of a DRAGON LEG WHIP! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Reiger is sent for the ride again, ducks a clothesline and takes Benjamin down with a RUNNING INVERTED BULLDOG! COACH New York Knockout! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COLE Fans, we need to take a break. Should the match end while we’re away we’ll show you the conclusion on replay. Whatever you do though, don’t you dare go away. The Chi-Town Spectacular continues after this. * COMMERCIAL * CMJ hammers Benjamin in the corner with Irish uppercuts as we return from break. COLE We are back live. And as you can see, ladies and gentlemen, it’s been all Moneygang and VICE during the break. COACH I bet it pains you to say that, Cole. You loathe the LDC Moneygang. COLE Their attitudes, yes. Whipped to the far corner Benjamin leaps onto the middle rope and back, but CMJ ducks and Benjamin eats nothing but canvas. COACH Bosley receives the tag, waits for Benjamin to return to his feet and then swings into the ring to clotheslines Benjamin! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! As Benjamin wanders in search of the tag, he finds himself in the heel corner, which Reiger lets him know by CHOKING him with the drawstring of his board shorts! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE That’s disgusting! COACH It’s not Spence’s fault Benjamin got himself tangled. COLE Oh please. CPA tags in, presses Benjamin overhead and then delivers a POWERSLAM! The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY MOSS! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Who does Charlie Moss think he is, the federal government? What’s he doing bailing out Benjamin? COLE At least that bailout worked. CPA shakes the blow off and looks to hit THE DOMINATOR, but Benjamin slips out and lands a SUPERKICK! COLE Could this be Benjamin‘s big break? He desperately needs to make a tag. But it’s CPA who tags out. Reiger slams Benjamin and executes his signature SLINGSHOT DOUBLE STOMP! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Fed up, Moss rushes in attacks Reiger! COACH Whine about that, Cole. COLE Charlie Moss letting his emotion get the better of him. As the referee steps in to restrain Moss, Reiger tags Bosley who puts the boots to Benjamin. Fired into the ropes, Benjamin finds himself SERVING HARD TIME, the victim of a Boss Man Slam! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Bosley signals the end. He lifts Benjamin up for his ARREST & TRIAL finisher…but Benjamin floats over and catches Bosley with a BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Encouraged by his teammates and thousands of fans, Benjamin musters the strength to tag Charlie Moss! COLE There’s the tag! Moss hammers Bosley, fires him off and executes a RELEASE OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! The cover. NO, MOSS MOVES AND CPA DROPS AN ELBOW ON BOSLEY! Moss unloads on CPA as the O.C. Cobras and LDC Moneygang renew their rivalry. COACH The referee’s letting this one get out of control, Cole. All hell’s breaking loose. The fight between the O.C. Cobras and Moneygang spills outside. Inside, Moss clotheslines CPA over the top and turns his attention to Bosley, whipping him into the ropes only to be drilled by a SPRINGBOARD BACK ELBOW! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Moss counters Bosley’s front flip swinging neck breaker with a backdrop, then runs the ropes only to be tripped up by Spencer Reiger. Suddenly Benjamin flies by and wipes out the LDC Moneygang and O.C. Cobras with a SOMERSAULT PLANCHA! COLE/COACH Benjamin rejoins Moss in the ring and they hit THE SUPER ROCKER DROPPER~!!! COLE Get ready to put this one in the books. It’s all over. CMJ yanks Benjamin outside and posts him as Reiger breaks up the pin. Both Enterprise members inside, they hit THE SPIKE REIGER COUNTER (PEDIGREE)!!! The cover. COLE Wait a minute. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * COACH They did it! COLE What the heck? COACH The LDC Moneygang just beat Team Heyross! COLE But I thought Bosley was the legal man? COACH Apparently not. Right now let’s hear the official decision. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners, the team of V.I.C.E and THE LDC MMMOOOONNEYGANG!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" CMJ and Reiger celebrate like they’ve just won the tag titles. COLE I’m told the guys in the truck have the replay cued. Let’s take a look at that. OAOAST On replay we see a blind tag was made when Bosley was whipped in for the overhead belly-to-belly, then the finish. OAOAST COACH That’s gotta suck, Cole. I’m sure you and a lot of people were ready to cry foul. COLE You never know around here. A tough break for Team Heyross. But what a confidence booster it must be for Spencer Reiger and Colin Maguire, Jr. And what a match it should be for the One & Only World tag team championship at Angleslam.
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M O N E Y So sexy Damn, I love the jam, the jet and the mansion. (Oh yeah) And I enjoy the gifts and the trips to the islands.(Oh yeah) Its good to live expensive You know it, but my knees get weak intensive When you give me k-kisses Thats money honey, Well I'm your lover and your mistress Thats money honey When you touch me, its so delicious Thats money honey Baby when you tell me the pieces Thats money honey Lady Gaga's Money Honey sings the duo of Morgan Nerdly and Lorelei DeCenzo on stage. Despite the unusual occurance on this past HeldDOWN, Lorelei keeps Morgan clothes as well as keeps her spirits high as she twirls around to show off a beautiful body encased in her pink feathered mini dress. Morgan for her part, wears a booty shorted pinstriped romper and fingerless white and blue arm warmers. Not sharing Lorelei's exhibitionist behaviors, Morgan nervously chews on her hair as she glances out at the audience. BUFFER The following is a women’s tag team contest! Introducing first, from Manhattan Beach, California, she is a former women’s champion, the Money Honey…LORELEI DECENZOOOOOO! And her partner, she is also a former women’s champion, she hails from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, she is the shocking and awe inspiring….MORGAN NERRDLLYYYYYYYYYYYY! Together they are…..DIRTY SEXY MONEYYYYY! COLE A lot riding on this match. Possible women’s title implications. COACH And proper spank material implications as well. Don’t let me down, girls! Lorelei certainly doesn’t Coach down as she sprawls her smoking hot body across the announce table and throws money into Coach’s face. COACH Oh baby! Plus five spank material! Considerably less flashy than Lorelei, Morgan stands on the second rope and gazes out with a hateful stare at the audience as blue pyro sparks behind her. COLE Just nineteen years of age and Morgan Nerdly has already developed a reputation as one of the most dangerous people in the OAOAST. A pop goes up in the United Center stands for the arrival of Sophie, dressed in black track pants and a white tanktop with her name etched on the back, and Molly wearing a mesh black long sleeve shirt with flowing arms and a cobra etched in gold glitter on the front and a white miniskirt with frayed fabric at the bottom. Molly films Sophie with an imaginary camera as the women’s champion poses with her title. BUFFER And the opponents, first from New York University by way of Edmonton, Alberta, Canada she is the 2009 manager of the year and a future oscar winning director, she is MOLLY NERDLLLLYYYYYYYYY~! And here partner, from Marsielles, France, she is the women’s champion….SOPHIE GREEYYYYYY! Together they are French New Waaaaaaaaave! COLE The windy city loves these girls, and who can blame them. Molly and Sophie are two wonderful ladies and they’re loaded with talent. COACH But they face two girls who are loaded with even more talent, and one of em has superpowers! Molly and Sophie slide into the ring together, coming dangerous close to Morgan. Rooted in place, the little Nerdly girl regards her opponents with distrusting sneer as they pop to their feet. Sophie and Molly manage to avoid any incident, and retreat to their corner to play it up with the fans. DING DING DING Molly decides to start things off for her team, and Lorelei does the same. Two bitter enemies circle each other with Lorelei passing nasty expressions towards the NYU student. COACH Bitter beer face, minus one spank point. Gotta work harder! Molly steps towards Lorelei for a lockup, but the film buff is a step too slow and Lorelei pushes her platform pump into Molly’s stomach. She then twists Molly’s arm with a vicious wrench that leaves Molly whimpering in pain. A few elbow strikes to her forearm cause Molly to fall to her knees. But Molly can’t find any relief as Lorelei drags her back upright and throws her into a netural corner. Next Lorelei speeds at her like a flamingo straight outta hell. But Molly evades Lorelei’s body and the fine-feathered babe is left to crash into the ring posts. Stuck against the turnbuckles she’s left defenseless as Molly runs in and nails her with the Box Office Bust (running corner splash)! COACH Smothering Lorelei with your breasts, plus one spank point. Lorelei staggers out the corner, dazed from Molly’s high impact strike. Her weary state allows the film buff to bounce herself off the ropes. As she returns to Lorelei, she drags her down to the canvas with a reverse spear. Molly tries to hold onto Lorelei, wrapping her arms around her tanned legs. But Lorelei is much too strong for Molly and manages to rip herself away from Molly’s clutches. Free from her former friend, Lorelei quickly rushes to her corner. She tags in Morgan, with orders to “Destroy Molly!” expressed loud and clear. “OOOOOOOH!” the Windy City reacts to the incredibly dangerous Morgan Nerdly arriving into the match. Even Molly shudders at the entrance of her emotionally disturbed little sister. COLE Only two Nerdly girls inspire that level in their opponents, Malaysia and Morgan. But Malaysia is five ten and Morgan barely clears five feet! You don’t have to be big to be a lethal threat. Morgan rushes at Molly with a blind charge, just seeking to power her off her feet. But Molly counters this by leaping into the air and taking her sister down with a spinning head scissors. Morgan is quick to her feet, however, and appears to be madder than ever. But this anger helps her none, as Molly wraps her black boots around her ankles and drops her to the canvas with a drop toe hold. Morgan hasn’t even a moment to try and get up before Molly is twisting and turning her with an Oklahoma Roll…. ONE! Morgan kicks out long before the two count. But rather than get right up, she remains on the ground chewing her hair and staring absently into space. Morgan’s preoccupation with her own imagination gives Molly the chance to apply a tag to the women’s champion, Sophie Grey! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” COACH Minus two spank points for Sophie’s ring attire. A tank top and athletic pants? Bitch, you ain’t doing boxercise at Gold’s Gym! Sophie enters the ring right as Morgan begins to rise. She catches the former women’s champion’s arm and twists it with a nasty arm wrench. Morgan shrieks more in anger than pain, and even threatens bodily arm against her rival. Somewhat fearful of Morgan’s promises, Sophie attempts to fire her away into the ring ropes. But Morgan reverses the hold and Sophie is the one sent into the ropes. Morgan herself takes a run off the cables, and as the two near she leaps into the air for a double strike. But the women’s champion, wisely slides out the way, and is able to raise her arm to strike down Morgan with a lariat. COLE A big time move from Sophie! Morgan might have taken her head clean off with that double knee attack. Morgan hastily rushes back to her feet, tearing at her hair and cursing herself for being clotheslined. While Morgan works out her immense frustrations, Sophie takes the time to climb onto the top rope. As the fans root her on she flies at Morgan with an axe handle smash! But the littlest Nerdly girl summons up a big counter and spine busters COACH You go on girl and you teach that ho ain’t no body wearin no ring attire like that in my ring! Morgan pushes Sophie over, and lies on top of her for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! But Sophie throws her shoulder off the canvas. COLE A courageous kickout by Sophie after suffering that brutal spinebuster. Morgan drags Sophie off the canvas, and throws her into the Dirty Sexy Money corner. Sophie lands with a hard thud, that’s worsened by Lorelei striking her in the back of the head with elbows. Seeing that Lorelei is so eager to batter Sophie, Morgan tags her partner and mentor into the match. “BOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Lorelei makes a grand entrance into the ring, which does nothing to temper the crowd’s hatred. Ignoring their negative reaction, Lorelei grabs the back of Sophie’s head and repeatedly smashes her face against the turnbuckles. After a referee’s warning, Lorelei shifts into taking Sophie into a front facelock. She hauls her into the air and then brings her down to the canvas with a vicious DDT! Lorelei twirls around and bows to the booing fans and then makes a casual cover with her boot… ONE! TWO! Molly breaks up the pin! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans react with delight, while Lorelei throws a temper tantrum and asks Morgan why she didn’t keep an eye on her sister. COLE Sophie is showing great resiliency and strength here tonight in Chicago! Lorelei does however offer Morgan a chance to redeem herself with a tag back into the contest. Sophie brings herself upright ready to face down the littlest Nerdly girl. But Morgan proves more than Sophie can handle as she batters her legs with kicks from her sharp heels. With Sophie’s legs buckling, Morgan has an easy time of taking her off her feet with a leaping enziguri! On Lorelei’s orders Morgan attempts a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Sophie kicks out and poor Morgan is chastised by Lorelei for failing to secure the victory. This does little to help Morgan, as she once again nervously chews on her hair. Continuing to fret, Morgan pulls Sophie upright. But Sophie suddenly comes alive with a burst of energy and pounds Morgan with several forearm strikes to the stomach. Morgan clutches her sore abs, but then comes roaring back at the French girl. However, Sophie counters her charge with an excellent dropkick! COLE Gotta love the grit and determination Sophie has! Sophie crawls to her corner and slaps the outstretched hand of Molly Nerdly. “YEAAAAAAAA!” the fans scream, sharing Molly’s exuberance. COACH Tagging in your less clothed partner, plus 3 spank points. Molly rushes at Morgan with arms raised for a lariat. But the tiny girl dips beneath the attacking arm of her sister. She then flurries her foot around, hoping to strike Molly’s ribs. But Molly catches her heel and slams it down onto the canavas. This throws Morgan off balance, and Molly is able to topple her over with a superkick! As Morgan tries to realign her jaw, the film buff makes her way onto the top rope. “I’m queen of the world!” she shouts, quoting Titanic. Once Morgan makes her unsteady rise to her feet, Molly flies forward with a cross body block that shoves her little sister down to the canavs. The referee counts the resulting pinfall… ONE! TWO! Lorelei ends the pinfall with a boot into Molly’s ribcage. Growling with anger, Lorelei drags Molly off of Morgan. Her intent is to throw Molly from the ring. But that task is made maddingly difficult by Molly winging knife chops into her feather clad outfit. Things go from bad to worse for Lori, as Molly traps her inside a front facelock. Lorelei fights desperately to be free of the hold, punching at any body part her punching hands can reach. Finally she manages to shove Molly away! But Molly’s errant path takes her into Morgan, and she accidently clips her little sister in the eye. COLE Oh no! Morgan’s suffering is of little concern to Lorelei, who happily occupies herself with shoving Molly out the way. Lori quickly becomes worried about Morgan’s state of health in mind, when she’s captured in a standing fireman’s carry. Despite her cries to be let down, Lorelei is struck with the Shock and Awe (FU) ! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” COLE Oh my! Half blind, Morgan must have thought that was Molly she was Shocking. By the time Morgan realizes something is seriously a foul, its to late for her as Sophie is bulldogging her into the canvas. “YEAAAAAAAAAH!” Now, Molly goes for the pinfall and the crowd counts along… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! DING DING DING COACH That’s a damn shame, Mikey! Very few people in the arena share Coach’s beliefs as they cheer the result to a shocking (yes pun) ending! Sophie and Molly embrace in the center of the ring, while Morgan lies next to them, still trying to sort out what exactly happened. BUFFER Your winners as a result of a pinfall…..FRENCH NEW WAVE! “YEAAAAAAAAAH! COLE A great win for the women’s champion and the intelligent and beautiful Molly Nerdly. They worked hard to pull it off, and they got the big time victory. COACH At the hands of Morgan’s mixup! COLE Be that as it may, the result still stamds. We cut backstage where Queen Esther watches the CTS on her throne…in the middle of the cafeteria. QUEEN ESTHER Oh my! That took the breath right out of me! PRODUCTION ASSISTANT It was very exciting. QUEEN ESTHER Oh no, oh no. Surely you know it wasn’t! I want the tape of that match confiscated and banned, please. PRODUCTION ASSISTANT But why? QUEEN ESTHER Can’t you see? Its apparent why, and you must, must, do it! If you don’t all of our kingdom could suffer! PRODUCTION ASSISTANT How? QUEEN ESTHER You just don’t know, you just don’t know! The wrong team won, of course! The good guys always win and the bad guys always lose. Someone poor man snatched my purse on the street yesterday, and ran away, but soon after he left me he was struck dead by a car! PRODUCTION ASSISTANT QUEEN ESTHER If he hadn’t been a bad guy, I might still have a father today! PRODUCTION ASSISTANT QUEEN ESTHER My loyal knights will be collecting all videotape and burning it, if it just isn’t right for a kingdom. We can’t have any grumpy Gusses ruining our fun, now can we? No we can’t! We’re Snow White and the six dwarves because there’s no Grumpy allowed. No, sir, there just can not be, and I’m afraid all the bad guys winning will make people just a wee touch cranky. While Esther prattles on, Lucius comes in and removes the TV from the catering set so that no one may see any more bad guys win. Just in case they get any funny ideas to steal it back, Lucius launches the set against the wall! It shatters apart, tumbling to the ground. LUCIUS (teary eyed) Shit reminded me of Katrina right there. A pimp was eating good when them leeves broke! QUEEN ESTHER Just like I suspected, everyone’s happy now! THE BLOOD WILL FLOW WORLD TITLE FIRST BLOOD KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS THEODORE MONEYMAKER
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We return from break to an arena lit by purple, blue, yellow, and orange lights that swirl through the stands. COLE We're back here in Chicago and, for some reason, there's a dumbell being brought to the ring. As three trusty backstage workers carry the weight-lifting equipment to the ring, Biff Atlas marches proudly to the ring, not attempting to help the poor saps. COLE And not only that, they're bringing some weights out as well. COACH Har-har. As the workers start setting up, Biff climbs into the ring in front of them. BIFF Ladies and gentlemen, for generations, people have been celebrated for their feats of strength. In Greek mythology, Atlas was ordered to carry the sky on his shoulders as punishment. Tonight, I, Biff Atlas, will carry on my shoulders these weights, not as punishment, but as proof, that I do infact possess super-powe... Biff stops and looks around in a panic. BIFF ...uhm... forget that last part! COACH Yeah, don't want to give away your secret Biff. Not like we haven't seen you discuss it on camera already. COLE Shh! BIFF The point is, I have challenged former world-class powerlifter Ken Pantera to a weight-lifting challenge, which is in no way connected with any sort of super-powers. COACH Good save. COLE I said shh! Suddenly, "Tom Sawyer" by Rush hits, cutting Biff off. Shaking his head, out walks Ken Pantera, followed by Felix Strutter who can barely contain himself from laughing. COLE Well two weeks ago, we saw Ken Pantera and Felix Strutter put a beating on Team Heyross and Denzel Spencer and make a shocking reunion. But this stems back to three weeks ago, when Biff Atlas in his delusional state decided to challenge Pantera to a power-lifting contest, to I guess show Vinny Valentine he's not lying about his super-powers. Pantera and Strutter enter the ring, Pantera looking down at the dumbell (the object, not Biff). BIFF Okay Ken. Good luck, you... might need it. Pantera and Strutter look utterly confused, as Biff pulls out a packet of powder and starts dusting his hands ready for the first lift. Snatching the microphone, Strutter interrupts Biff mid-powdering. STRUTTER What in the hell are you doing? BIFF It's for better grip, get rid of the moisture. STRUTTER No, what the hell are you doing, period? Are you seriously calling out Ken Pantera? For a weight-lifting contest!? You have gotta be the most clueless person in this building. And that's saying something. How about you just cut the crap, head to the back and don't even DARE to speak our names again. Huh? Surprised at this confrontational talk, Biff looks Felix very seriously in the eye. BIFF Please... you don't want to talk to me this way. You don't know what I'm capable of. STRUTTER *scoffs* Man, I had you all wrong. Here I thought you were delusional, when it turns out you're actually PATHETIC. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" STRUTTER Look at you. You're a joke! You've been a joke your entire life! Well that's fine, I guess you can't help it. But how about you get something through your thick skull. Ken Pantera is no joke! This man is a powerhouse. He's a beast. And for the past few months, he's been stuck hanging around with losers like you and like Vinny Valentine. A disco dancer and a guy who's afraid of his own shadow. "BIFF!" "BIFF!" "BIFF!" "BIFF!" COLE Some of these people taking some exception to this browbeating from Felix Strutter. STRUTTER Ken Pantera is worth more than that. And I'm worth more than palling around with a couple of Jamaican dumbasses. You and Valentine dragged Ken Pantera down to your level. Those Jamaicans dragged me down to their level. And sometimes you've just got to take a long, hard look at yourself in the mirror and admit that you don't like where you're at and say it's time for a change! I'm a former International World Champion! Me and Ken, we were a force! Sooner or later we had to figure out what the problem was. We were dragged down by a couple of Jamaicans and two Americans. We had to go back to stage one, being the best team coming outta the best wrestling country in the world, Canada! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" STRUTTER And we're not going to be have anchors like you tied around our ankles anymore. Dropping the microphone, Strutter kicks at the pack of powder in Biff's hands, causing him to be blinded by a puff of white material! COLE Hey! With Biff blinded Pantera attacks, clubbing Biff from behind and pounding him into the mat as Strutter tries to clear the dust away. The crowd jeer, as Pantera muscles Biff up and gets him up into a gorilla press, doing REPS with him before tossing him down to the mat! COACH Well I guess we know who wins the power-lifting challenge. COLE Come on. I'm no fan of Biff Atlas, but this is uncalled for! Pantera drags Biff back up and lifts him onto his shoulders, as Strutter climbs the turnbuckles. He looks at the Chicago crowd, before hooking Biff up and bringing him off of Pantera with a HUGE DDT!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Big smile on his face, Strutter stands over Biff and raises Pantera's arm in the air. COACH Team Canada, making another statement. Strutter and Pantera leave to the sound of boos as Biff lays hurt in the ring, his face still white with powder. COMMERCIAL
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:"Oh No" by Mos Def, Nate Dogg, and Pharoah Monche starts Todd Cortez approaches the ring slowly, but with purpose. He is wearing jeans, a white tank top and a black bandana on his head. He enters the ring and stands in a corner. “Concrete Jungle” starts. Tommy G. hits the ramp and marches down towards the ring. As he passes a camera, he yells into it, “Forget New York, Chicago is the concrete jungle!” He slides into the ring a feints at Cortez, who does not flinch. The music fades:: BUFFER Ladies and gentleman, this contest is a street fight! There are no disqualifications…no rules…winner must submit, knock out or pin his opponent for a count of three. Introducing first, in the ring to my left, wearing black jeans, fighting out of Hollywood Boulevard, weighing in at two hundred twenty-six pounds…The Urban Legend, Todd Cortez! His opponent, in the ring to my right, wearing blue jeans, from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at two hundred and seventy pounds…Tommy G.! ::Buffer leaves the ring and the referee calls for the bell. The two men charge each other. Tommy G. delivers a knee lift and Cortez doubles over. Tommy G. clubs him in the back of the neck. Cortez goes down. G. stomps his head and kicks him in the side. Cortez rolls out of the ring. G. follows and throws quick jabs at Cortez, who is only able to block a few. Cortez turns and moves away. G. quickly follows. Suddenly, Cortez jumps on the edge of the steel steps and leaps back, hitting Tommy G. with a back elbow. Tommy G. spits blood and holds his mouth. Cortez tears the top portion of the steps off and stalks Tommy G. Rather than going for a clichéd overhead attack, Cortez swings the steps like a baseball bat. G. is able to jump back. The steps strike the ring apron with magnificent force, causing Cortez to drop it. Tommy G. steps on top of the fallen steps and kicks Cortez in the ribs. Cortez is pushed sideways and leans over the crowd barrier:: TOMMY G. YOU BETTER MOVE THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY! ::Fans sitting in that section scramble. Tommy G. grabs Cortez’s legs and throws them up. Cortez does a 180 and lands on the steel chairs:: COLE A brutal tactic by Tommy G. early on in this street fight! COACH Is there such a thing as brutal in a street fight? ::Tommy G. hops over the barrier and grabs a chair. As Cortez slowly gets to his feet, he plasters him. Tommy G. picks him up and leans him against the barrier. He backs up and runs, clotheslining Cortez back into the ring area. Tommy G. then jumps on the apron and moves to the far corner. He crouches, ready to strike. As corner gets to his knees and then his feet, Tommy G. runs and leaps, going for a clothesline. Somehow, Cortez ducks and spins, kicking G. in the midsection. Tommy G. flips upon impact and lands on his back:: COLE Tommy G. going for what he calls the Frecce Tricolori and getting caught! ::Cortez slowly gets to his feet and grabs a chair from the timekeeper’s table. He rams the edge into G.’s side as he writhes on the floor. He then hits Tommy G. in the arm with the flat side of the chair. Moving to the adjacent side of the ring, Cortez removes the padding from the floor. He returns to Tommy G. and picks him up by the hair. He then Irish whips Tommy G. into the opposite barrier:: COLE Todd Cortez is working on that damaged back! ::Cortez scoops Tommy G. and slams him on the exposed concrete floor. He then mounts him and throws punches until G.s already bleeding mouth is joined by his forehead. Cortez picks up Tommy G. and slides him into the ring. Cover.:: 1 2 KICKOUT! CROWD TWO! ::Cortez gets to his feet and pulls Tommy G. to his knees. Knee to the face. Tommy G. flies back from the impact. Cortez sets him up in a sitting position in the corner and slides out of the ring to grab a chair. Running Van Daminator:: COLE How much punishment are these men going to mete out? CORTEZ THAT’S IT! IT’S OVER! ::Cortez grabs Tommy G. and yells in his face. He then bring him to his feet and sets him up for a Riot Act Plus. Tommy G. drop outs at the best moment and delivers a low blow to Cortez:: COACH It’s legal in this match! COLE Is that ever legal, Coach? ::Both men lie on the ground in pain. Tommy G. crawls to the ropes and pulls himself to his feet. He grabs the chair and crouches, waiting for Cortez to get up:: COLE Tommy G. measuring Todd Cortez! ::As Cortez makes it to his feet, Tommy G. waffles him in the head. Cortez goes down:: TOMMY G. ONE MORE! ::Cortez rolls over and brings himself to one knee. His face is bloody. He makes it to his feet and slowly turns around. WHAM! He goes back down:: TOMMY G. THAT’S IT! ::Cover with a boot:: 1 2 ::Tommy G. removes his boot and shakes his head. He pulls the chair back, hitting Cortez while he is still down. Again. Tommy G. taunts the crowd:: COLE C'mon, you know you've got him. Stop this! Rearing back, Tommy G. once again slams the cold hard steel against Cortez's back as he struggles to get up, and the Urban Legend goes down in a heap. Tommy G. pats the steel chair, stained with blood, as he toys with Cortez, waving for the barely conscious superstar to get to his feet. Miraculously, Cortez starts to stir, trying to power up, and as Tommy G. raises the chair over his head the crowd ROARS as ZACK MALIBU races down the aisle! COLE It's Zack! COACH Where did he come from!!?!?! Malibu slides into the ring and quickly yanks the chair from Tommy G.'s grasp, saving his friend Cortez from further abuse! G. turns around, as if to say "who the hell are YOU?" to The Franchise. Malibu has the chair in hand, but G. is not afraid, and the newcomer and the Franchise lock eyes, giving Cortez enough time to drag his weakened body towards the ropes, using them to pull himself up... ...AND THAT'S WHEN ZACK MALIBU NAILS TODD CORTEZ ACROSS THE HEAD WITH THE CHAIR~! COLE What...WHAT THE HELL!?!? COACH HA! I mean, WTF!? Cortez goes down as if shot, and Zack backs away. Tommy G. looks as shocked as everyone, but wastes no time in putting a boot on Cortez's chest, and welcoming the three count. ONE! TWO! THREE! The bell sounds, and Tommy G.'s music begins to play, but before he can be announced as the winner he yanks his arm away from the referee and spins Malibu around before he can exit. Zack and Tommy are nose to nose, and Tommy knocks the chair out of Zack's hand! A stir comes over the crowd, as the two superstars look like they're going to come to blows. They continue their staredown, trash talking each other...and that's when ANGLESAULT arrives on the scene to pull Zack away! Malibu yanks his arm away from Anglesault, but the CFO of the OAOAST urges Zack to stay back, then turns around and points at Tommy to get back...only to have G. swat his hand away! COACH What the hell is going on Mikey Cole? COLE I...I honestly don't know! The last time we saw Zack he said that he was going to give Anglesault "what he wanted", but I have no idea how Todd Cortez or Tommy G. fit in, and quite frankly, it doesn't look like Tommy G. is happy with it! Anglesault acts as a blockade between the two men, as G. looks ready to kill, and Zack is far from scared. Finally, Anglesault waves on the troops, and the OAOAST security force hit the ring, forming a wall and each unit doing their job in prying the two stars apart. COLE OAOAST security is down here, Todd Cortez is losing blood and seriously hurt, and the world is in shock, because Zack Malibu has returned out of nowhere, and has apparently turned his back on one of his closest friends! Anglesault and security manage to get Zack out of the ring, but he's not happy, shoving one guard down and then storming to the back on his own. He stops and turns around, pointing and threatening G. to egg him on, but security keeps Zack from going back up the aisle. In the ring, G. stays back, but his eyes tell the story...Zack Malibu has set something off in the newcomer, and it might not be pretty for the OAOAST! COMMERCIAL
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Brought to you by American Express Taped: Recently First air date: More recently Announce team: Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura Lead corespondent: Tony Brannigan Theme song: Kat DeLuna-Calling You Syndicated is back on your airwaves just in time for the Chi-Town Spectacular. On tap for tonight is Christian Wright, ThunderKid, a battle royal and Nerdly Girls! ***Christian Wright Vs Eskimo Kid*** Before the match CW made Eskimo Kid a very generous offer. If he were to beat the former tag team champion, the Inuit would be granted a spot in the Enterprise. But EK rejected this offer outright, saying he wanted nothing to do with The E. This enraged CW and led to him striking the 17 year old down. EK was battered by Wright as the match got underway. But he mounted a comeback with quick and hard to dodge offensive attacks. He almost got a surprise pinfall with a cross body block. A second cross body led to a powerslam from CW and The Natural retook control. He worked over EK’s arms for several minutes, but EK was able to break out an arm bar. Despite his small size and sore arm EK traded blows with The Natural. But he was finally put away by a Wright Off from the former HI-YAH world champion. Winner: Christian Wright, via pinfall. Backstage Tony Brannigan caught up with United States champion Denzel Spencer. Denzel said he was happy to win the US Title, but a shot at the world title would be a dream come true. He was interrupted by Mister Dick who said Denzel wouldn’t even win the battle bowl preview tonight, much less the Battlebowl itself. Denzel shrugged off the dis, and promised a victory on Syndicated and at the CTS. ***ThunderKid Vs Jumbo*** A Syndicated rematch was on tap with bad blood brewing between the two. Jumbo got off to a rocking start, using his massive weight to bully TK around. The Green Bay native finally got on track by taking out Jumbo’s legs. While Jumbo tried to use his weight to get back on the attack, ThunderKid continued to target Jumbo’s legs. Eventually ThunderKid, got Jumbo to tumble out the ropes with a diving chop block. Following Jumbo outside the ring, TK rid himself of all athletic pretense and grabbed a chair. Once Jumbo was upright, TK hit him in the head with the chair on the second straight Syndicated. As Jumbo was declared the winner, TK retreated up the ramp smiling to himself. Winner: Jumbo, via DQ The Queen’s Court was far more active than usual as all the Queen’s Men as well as numerous paupers were working overtime to destroy all copies of the humiliating Arturus and Vinny Valentine Vs Lucius Soul and Scottisch Scott match. While that was going on Queen Esther revised history, and told the tale of two brave knights, Scottish Scott and Lucius Soul who were chosen by the mighty overseer Josh Matthews to face down the evil dragons known as Valentine and Arturas. The two knights faced harsh challenges on their way to battle, according to Queen Esther. But they were victorious against the evil beasts, and restored hope to the kingdom of the OAOAST! ***NERDLY SUPER CHALLENGE MAGGIE NERDLY VS MELISSA NERDLY*** A very biased Melissa introduced the Nerdly challenge as a series of events designed to prove once and for all that Melissa is better at everything than Maggie. The first event was the Hockey Goalie challenge where each girl would take turns playing goalie. The shooters were MARV and MEL, and they showed off their impressive slap shots early on. Unfortunately for Melissa her earlier claim was rendered foolish as MARV and MEL lit her up for seven goals. That gave Maggie an easy act to follow up and she did it perfectly by only allowing 3. Melissa stormed off in full goalie gear, mumbling about getting Maggie at the next event. ***BATTLEBOWL PREVIEW BATTLE ROYAL Biff Atlas Vs Colombian Heat Vs Denzel Spencer Vs Charlie Moss Vs Mister Dick Vs Tango Bosley Vs Logan Mann Vs CMJ*** I’m not sure how to summarize a battle royal so here’s some results! Biff Atlas was eliminated by Colombian Heat and Tango Bosley Colombian Heat was eliminated by Bosley after he dissolved their team-up Logan Mann eliminated himself after failing to strike Moss with a diving lariat. CMJ was eliminated by a dropkick from Charlie Moss. Bosley was knocked out the ring by Denzel Spencer. Charlie Moss was backdropped over the ropes by Mister Dick Denzel Spencer was Stiff Kicked out the ring by Mister Dick after attempting to spring board back into it. Winner: Mister Dick
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TH3 entr@n)e set is just a model replica of the windy city skyline, with the buildings being the actual video screens. Also a neon lighted "CHI-TOWN SPECTACULAR" sign rests above the entrance way.
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Simple fools. By writing 3 segments in 15 minutes I saved the show. Show reverence and awe to your adored leader.