Patty O'Green

Pour a 40 for our fallen homies KC and EWC

PRESENTED IN HD FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- HeldDOWN~! opens with a ticker-tape PARADE down the EMPTY streets of East Rutherford, New Jersey, “Born in the U.S.A.” blaring in the background. Well, just the chorus. The reason: to celebrate new OAOAST Champion Theodore Moneymaker. Seated on a GOLDEN THRONE, the Billion Dollar Heir is carried by a dozen or so BIKINI-CLAD VIRGINS supplied by good friend and spiritual advisor Abdullah Nerdly. COLE And there you see him, ladies and gentlemen, the brand new OAOAST World Champion Theodore Moneymaker, who defeated Krista Isadora Duncan in controversial fashion last Sunday at the Great Angle Bash to capture the title. COACH Whether you like it or you don’t like it, learn to love it, Cole. The decision is final. We have a new champion. So quit crying over spilled milk. Tonight is cause for celebration! Smoking a pipe, the belt on his lap, the Billion Dollar Heir waves to longtime supporters (VICE, the Heavenly Rockers/Abdullah, rest of the Enterprise) lined up to catch a glimpse of him. Suddenly the parade comes across a group of ANGRY PROTESTERS, which VICE and Morgan take care of with violent force. MONEYMAKER (Tony your video was yanked off youtube)

BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team contest is a first round match in the 2009 Battlebowl, set for one fall. Back we go again to Josh and Maggie. JOSH (looking at phone) "Stuck in traffic, hate world, ell oh ell". Hehe. How did we ever live without Twitter? MAGGIE *ahem* JOSH ...OH! We're on! (opens ball) The first person in our second Battlebowl match of the evening is going to be... one half of The Heavenly Rockers, LOGAN MANN! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" .:CUE: "Heart Shaped Box", Nirvana:. Emerging from the entrance, The MACHO Macho Mann strums a little air guitar. He scowls at the crowd as he makes his way down the aisle in a not particularly sunny mood, followed by his always gloomy wife Holly and Speaker For The Prophets, Abdullah Abir Nerdly. COLE Logan Mann, a former three time OAOAST World Tag Team Champion. And he had these words to say earlier along with his regular tag team partner Synth Abdul Jabbar regarding what happened two weeks ago in London, England. OAOAST A small square box SWOOPS~ in and settles on the upper right hand side of the picture. In front of the OAOAST HeldDOWN~! backdrop stand The Heavenly Rockers, Abdullah Abir Nerdly and Holly. ABDULLAH ڗگڃښ O'Hara! ڠ ڠڛڲڔڸڬړ mask! کڛڛ پپڀڌ٢ڰ٦!!! LOGAN Abby, chill man. Jamie O'Hara, you are a COWARD! You couldn't face us like a man, you couldn't hang with the greatest rock n' wrestling band in history face to face. You had to hide behind a mask like a damn criminal to get at us! We ran you out of here once. Don't think just because you've got some fancy mask now, we won't do it again. Mask or no mask, you're still the same pathetic white trash punk you always have been. Don't think this is over. Don't Fear The Reaper... fear the Rockers! HELDDOWN~! Logan stands in the ring talking things over with Abdullah, as the Maggie draws another ball. JOSH And Logan's partner... DETECTIVE TANGO BOSLEY! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Logan and Abdullah manage a little smile as Bosley leaves the locker room ALL fired up! COLE And another tag team specialist, one half of VICE, Detective Bosley. Almost came away with those OAO World Tag Team Titles last weekend at The Great Angle Bash, now he's in the hunt for the OAOAST World Title. COACH That'd be an interesting match, huh? Mister Moneymaker versus Detective Bosley. COLE 'Interesting' would be one word. Detective Bosley walks out to the sounds of "In The Air Tonight" by Nonpoint. The intense Detective fires up in the aisle, pounding at his chest with a huge roar. Sliding into the ring Bosley shakes hands with Logan, offering up a fistbump to his "tanned camel riding bro'", inappropriate on so many levels. COLE Well that's certainly a promising sign for this team, a little mutual respect. JOSH Okay, and their opponents... oh wow. The one and the only, ZACK MALIBU!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE THE FRANCHISE! .:CUE: "Getting Away With Murder", Papa Roach:. The New Jersey crowd go wild as Zack Malibu walks out into a shower of golden pyrotechnics. White pyro shoots out on either side of Zack as he emerges from the sparks, stopping on the top of the aisle and hopping back and forth. Zack stares down at the ring for a few seconds before he begins his walk. COLE The most decorated champion in OAOAST history! Zack Malibu looking to take the first steps back onto the road to the OAOAST World Title after losing the belt back at School's Out, hoping for reign number five in San Juan, Puerto Rico! Zack doesn't slide into the ring yet and waits. Staring at Bosley and Logan, Zack doesn't even bother to watch the screen until the very last moment. JOSH And Zack's partner... representing Cucaracha Internacional, TODD CORTEZ! COLE Oh wow! A raised eyebrow from Zack greets that reveal as "Oh No" hits. A quick burst of pyro shoots up from both sides of the ramp, showering Cortez in sparkles as he prepares to walk down the aisle. COLE Todd Cortez the sole representative for Cucaracha Internacional in Battlebowl. And a man with a storied history with Zack Malibu. Cortez reaches his partner at ringside and they acknowledge each other with a nod, no more friendly than that. They enter the ring together and Cortez scales the turnbuckles raising an arm to the fans. Zack stays on his guard for Bosley and Logan, who do their best to look unconcerned. Stepping down, The Urban Legend removes his bulletproof vest and cross. *DINGDINGDING!* After some brief discussions, it's Detective Bosley and Zack Malibu to start for their teams. Trying to prove himself as the real Alpha Male of the OAOAST, Bosley challenges Zack to a test of strength. He beats his chest, trying to psych Zack out. Which doesn't work as Zack locks fingers and tries to power Bosley down. Chest to chest they struggle before Bosley starts to raise his hands up and slowly force Zack down onto one knee. BOSLEY YEAH! YUUUHH!! FEEL THE FREAKIN' POWER MALIBU!! WHAT NOW!? WHAT NOW!? Having the added humilation of Bosley screaming right in his face, Zack is able to fight back to his feet. Kicking at Bosley's arm, Zack manages to break the hands apart and catches Bosley with a fireman's carry sweep, mounting the Detective and slamming his elbow down repeatedly! COLE Right into that big mouth! Zack is in no mood to be messed with tonight! Bosley shoves Zack off of him and gets to his feet. He wipes at his mouth before charging at Zack in a rage. Zack ducks underneath a wild clothesline and comes off the ropes with a running forearm smash! Popping back to his feet, Bosley is knocked down with a second momentum assisted forearm. Taking a wild swing, Bosley misses again and gets rolled up... 1... 2... Out quickly, Bosley is caught in a front facelock. Zack softens him up with some knee strikes before rolling backwards, getting Bosley seated and butterflying the arms. COLE Submission hold, superbly done by Zack. COACH I tell you what, Zack's looking focused tonight. Bosley bats at Zack's arms and manages to break the butterfly lock, but eats an elbow smash before he can get away. Rolling back to his feet, Zack catching Bosley sitting back up with a low dropkick and covers... 1... 2... No! Controlling Bosley with another facelock, Zack gets caught with some bodyshots. Bosley then runs Zack backwards, into his team's corner, allowing Logan to tag in. Logan takes the free shot, a running double axehandle between the eyes in the corner. And he stomps Zack down in the corner. COACH This is where the advantage is. Detective Bosley, one half of VICE, tag team specialist. Logan Mann, one half of The Heavenly Rockers, tag team specialist. COLE Well this isn't Zack or Cortez's first go around. Zack's a former two time tag team champion himself. COACH Zack's also the most selfish man in wrestling. COLE Oh please. Logan brings Zack out of the corner. Snapmare, followed by a leaping kneedrop to the forehead. Logan hooks a leg... 1... 2... No. Leading Zack up, Logan delivers a couple of right hands and whips him to the ropes. An early duck of the head costs Logan though as Zack stops in his tracks, kicking him in the shoulder blade. Logan tries to respond with a clothesline but Zack ducks the line, hitting Logan with a Powerslam off the ropes... 1... 2... No! Zack drags Logan to the corner... and tags in Todd Cortez. COLE A little hesitation, but a tag is made and in comes The Urban Legend. Stepping in, Cortez goes right after Logan's knees with some low kicks. The kicks hobble Logan and leave him prone for Todd who hits the ropes. He sweeps Logan down with an STO, right back off into the ropes to follow that up with a legdrop. Cover... 1... 2... No. Logan tries to back into a corner, pursued by Cortez, forcing him to resort to a cheap pull of the tights sending Cortez face-first into the turnbuckle! COLE There's where Logan's veteran resources do come in handy. Logan limps over to his corner and tags in Bosley. The AMOG charges Cortez in the corner and pulls him out looking for a back suplex. But Cortez flips over onto his feet! Catching Bosley with a kick to the thigh, Cortez turns and hits the ropes, but gets caught with a sudden explosion of energy as Bosley cuts him off with a Lariat!! The fired up Detective berates Todd instead of going for the pin, but Logan isn't bothered and decides to join in by posing for the crowd. COLE A bit early for celebrations, don't you think? COACH What's the point in beating someone if you can't enjoy it? Of course, you've never won anything in your life, so you wouldn't know. COLE I won second prize in a beauty contest once. Sorta. With Zack watching from the apron, Bosley brings Logan back in. The MACHO Macho Mann quickly hangs Cortez over the middle rope with a choke. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" Logan spins away and twirls a finger towards Zack. Already in a bad mood, it doesn't take much to set Zack off and he comes into the ring to get at Logan, distracting the referee while Bosley takes over the choking. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Look at this for teamwork, brilliant. COLE I'd call it many things but brilliant wouldn't be high on the list. As Cortez regains his breath, Logan charges and hits a running double axehandle sending him spilling out through the ropes to the floor. Knowing what's coming, Zack drops off the apron and walks around the ring, warning off Abdullah. COACH What's Zack doing? Get on the apron pal. COLE Zack's trying to keep an eye out for his tag partner. COACH Even though Abdullah's done nothing wrong and is merely standing and offering his spiritual assistance? That's persecution. The referee leaves the ring to move Zack back to his corner, which allows Bosley to drop down and whip Cortez hard into the guardrail! Zack tries to get around the referee, or at least tell him what's going on, but does more harm than good as Cortez is rammed into the apron before being thrown back inside. COLE Any defence now? COACH We were talking about Abdullah. Did Abdullah do anything wrong? Exactly. Logan pins Cortez, waving the ref over... 1... 2... No! Tag made to Bosley, teamwork there to see. Cortez is sent to the ropes and doubled over by a fist from Logan. That sets him up for a Frontflip Swinging Neckbreaker from Bosley! Cover... 1... 2... Broken up by Zack! COACH Looks like whatever Anglesault's been saying, it's starting to have an effect. Bosley cusses out Zack, giving Todd the chance to get to his feet. The Urban Legend catches Bosley with a kick to the thigh. Another. And one to the other leg. Cortez then gives Bosley a spine-jarring Crotch Droppah! Off the ropes, Cortez attempts a clothesline. Despite the lower body attacks Bosley still manages to lift a leg and kick the clothesline away though. With Todd stopped, Bosley takes a step back and aims high with a Roundhouse Ki... DUCKED! Cortez waits for Bosley to come around and throws his own Roundhouse Ki... DUCKED AS WELL! Dropping to a knee, Bosley catches Todd with a backfist jab to the gut, then just throws him carelessly to the mat. COACH Well Todd should be used to this experience, getting beaten down by a cop. Taunting Zack, Bosley draws The Franchise in again and paves the way for a double-team, he and Logan stomping away. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Zack, really doing his partner no favours here. Clearly frustrated Zack leaves the ring, leaving Cortez in trouble. Bosley mockingly waves at Cortez to get back up and fight "like a real man". Pulling himself up on the ropes, Todd turns around and takes a thrust kick to the gut. Bosley sets him up for a suplex, but Cortez floats over the back and lands on his feet. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Cortez connects with a chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And another. But Bosley cuts him right off with a knee to the gut. BOSLEY AIN'T NOTHIN'! AIN'T NOTHIN' BOY! YOU CAN'T HURT THE BIG DOG! Laughing it up, The Bos slaps Cortez upside the head a couple of times. Bosley then attempts an irish whip, but Cortez reverses and sends the AMOG for the ride. Approaching the ropes, Bosley leaves his feet and leaps to the middle rope. As he flies back with an elbow though, Cortez runs right past him. Bosley suffers a jarring landing while Cortez ducks through the ropes to the outside. And as Bosley gets back up, Cortez comes in from the apron to hit a Springboard Dropkick!! COLE Todd Cortez going to the air! And now, can he make the tag to Zack? Both Bosley and Cortez begin to crawl towards their partners for the night. Bosley gets there first and Logan comes in... stopping in his tracks as Cortez gets the tag seconds later! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE He can! And here... comes... Zack! Zack steps in and Logan tries to catch him off guard with a running double axehandle, but Zack sidesteps and Mann runs himself into the turnbuckles! He turns around into a barrage of right hands from Zack, getting sent into his team's corner and nailed with a clothesline. Zack turns around in time to catch Bosley coming, giving him a helping hand up and over the top rope to the outside. A boot then sets up Logan for a Fisherman's Suplex! COLE Modified Pop Drop from Zack, with a bridge! 1... 2... No! Logan staggers back to his feet and walks into flailing hands, Malibu striking him with a flurry of open handed strikes from the left and from the right. Dazed, Logan falls against the ropes. Shooting him off, Zack backs into the ropes and levels Logan coming back with his leaping lariat. COLE Zack Malibu is taking over here! Sensing things are going badly, Abdullah climbs to the apron to try and buy Logan some time. All he does is buy himself a punch in the mouth from The Franchise. "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COACH PREJUDICE! UNCALLED FOR! Zack turns back to Logan and sets him up for SCHOOL'S OU... NO! Logan ducks it! Regaining his balance Zack is caught with a boot and set up for PERCUSSION... but counters with a Northern Lights Suplex! 1... 2... NO! Back up, Logan gets a vengeful look and he throws a big right hand, which Zack blocks and returns in kind. Sent to the ropes Logan is sent over with a BAAAAACK bodydrop! Bosley re-appears on the apron and is knocked down just as Abdullah was. Coming up behind Logan, Zack traps him in a waistlock and delivers a German Suplex! Hanging on, Zack drags Logan back to his feet. But instead of another suplex, Zack pushes Logan towards a corner. COLE We all know Zack usually loves to chain those suplexes together. Like a certain other person. Do we read anything into that? COACH We do if we're conspiracy theorists like you. With Logan leant in a corner, Zack runs across the ring and delivers the ZACK ATTACK II, slamming his knees into the back of the MACHO Macho Mann! Logan is in trouble and Zack prepares to strike. Cortez keeps guard on the apron... until that is he's pulled down to the arena floor by TOMMY G!!! COLE HEY! WHAT THE HELL!? Tommy G slugs away wildly at the back of Cortez's head until The Urban Legend manages to turn around and tackle him back against the ring steps. And soon both men are slugging it out on the ground in nothing more than a street fight! In the ring, Zack has Logan set up ready for the Cut Day, but notices the brawl on the floor and tosses Logan aside in order to leave the ring and try to break it up, with the referee curiously out of position. COACH I guess this thing between Tommy G and Cortez isn't over just yet! COLE We need to get some security out here, this is chaos! Holly keeps the referee occupied on the other side of the ring. And it soon becomes clear why as the opportunistic Detective Bosley whips out his TELESCOPIC BATON and CRACKS ZACK IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH IT!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Throwing the stricken Franchise back into the ring, Bosley neglects to break up the Tommy G/Cortez brawl as it spills towards the crowd. Cortez and Tommy G end up tipping over the barricade in the midst of their brawl and continue to battle wildly through the crowd. Which leaves Zack all alone and with no idea of where he is. Holly conveniently finishes up her conversation with the referee, just as her husband scoops Malibu up off the mat. And with Zack defenceless, Logan dishes out some PERCUSSION treatment!! COLE DDT, you've GOT to be KIDDING me!! Logan turns Zack over and hooks the leg... 1... 2... 3!!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COACH THREE! YES! COLE I don't believe it! What an upset! Bosley punches the air and hugs and dazed Abdullah, only to toss him aside for a more enjoyable hug from Holly. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match, advancing in the 2009 Battlebowl competition... DETECTIVE TANGO BOSLEY and LOGAN MANN!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Logan has his hand raised in victory, Bosley getting a piece of the action too. The fired up Detective gives Logan a celebratory chest bump and antagonises the crowd while Logan gets celebrations from Holly and Abdullah. All the while, the fight continues in the crowd between Tommy G and Todd Cortez. COLE This may go down as one of the biggest upsets in Battlebowl history! One of the odds-on favourites and one of the real darkhouses, both out in the first round. And somewhere Theodore Moneymaker has a HUGE smile on his face, I'm sure. Two of his biggest potential challengers are out. Zack Malibu is out of Battlebowl. And it's thanks to two of his, shall we say, 'negotiatable acquaintances' in Logan Mann and Detective Bosley, who I'm sure can expect a little 'reward' for their work tonight. COACH I know. Could it have gone much more perfectly? Logan, Holly and Abdullah leave with Bosley right behind them amped up and yelling about the great job they just did. Which is slightly annoying, but nothing the trio can't live with in return for a win. COLE A big turn up for the books here tonight. Proof of just how unpredictable this Battlebowl competition can be. And hopefully, we're getting some control over this fight between Tommy G and Todd Cortez, they disappeared out of sight, they may be taking it out to the streets! COACH So long as they're not out here anymore, I don't care. As the victorious Bosley and Logan leave, Zack picks himself up in the ring. Holding the back of his head, Zack scans around and finds the referee standing outside the ring and slides out to confront him. He tries to explain about the baton shot and the fact his partner was attacked. And the referee simply responds that he didn't see any of it. COLE Well Zack obviously not happy with what went down here tonight. COACH Boo freakin' hoo. The apologetic referee goes to leave... and Zack grabs him by the arm and pulls him back! Zack gets in his face, but manages to hold himself back from doing anything more and lets the referee go. Once that tense moment is over the crowd start to cheer Zack. But the cheers stop and turn to gasps as Zack suddenly lashes out and rips away the top of the announce table, throwing it across ringside! Zack throws one of the TV monitors after it, shattering it and sending casing flying! Seething, The Franchise grabs a chair vacated by those at the timekeeper's table, throwing it right at the ringpost! ZACK GOD... DAMNIT! Zack runs his hands through his hair and suddenly has a realisation moment. Looking at the dented chair in front of him, Zack curses under his breath and shaking his head, he storms off. COLE Zack frustrated... to say the least. The fans call out at Zack, mostly encouraging but a couple not so as he walks up the aisle, still brimming with frustration. He disappears through the entrance with another shake of his head, as the cameras cut back to the mess he's left behind. Backstage we find former women's champion Morgan Nerdly storming down the concourses of the arena proper. Fans makes the wise decision to keep themselves as far away from Morgan a possible. Finally Morgan reaches what she's looking for, a security guard. MORGAN I need you to arrest me. OFFICER What for? MORGAN Don't ask just do it. OFFICER I can't arrest you for nothing. MORGAN Its nothing! Its something! A big something! OFFICER What is it? MORGAN I am going to hurt somebody. And its going to be very bad for them. You could save their life. OFFICER You? You're only five feet tall. Who could you hurt? ZAAAAAAAAAAP MORGAN You. Morgan storms off, leaving the security guard to convulse in pain.

We find Jade Rodez-Duncan backstage again, sat alone and looking mighty glum. And in desperate need of someone to cheer her up. Unfortunately, the person who walks across camera and sits down next to her is one of the few people more miserable than her. That being her uncle Leon. For a few seconds there's no words between them, Leon just staring off into the distance. LEON So, is it over? JADE Thanks to you, yes. Leon hides a smirk, not feeling as guilty as Jade was trying to make him. LEON I'd like to say I'm sorry to hear that. But you know fullwell that I'm not. JADE Well I'm glad someone's happy. LEON Happy? Who said anything about being happy? I'm not happy, Jade. I'm relieved. Relieved that you're finally seeing life for what it really is. I know how you look at me lately. Same as everyone else. Like there's something 'wrong' with me. What's wrong, Jade, is living in denial. Thinking that life is fair and just. It's wrong because you only end up getting hurt when you realise different. You're not happy? Welcome to my world. Leon opens his arms out in mock 'welcome'. LEON It gets better. Trust me. The denial is the worst part, because when you think life should be fair and it's not, it hurts. When it's not and you know it never will be, you get numb to it. Me? I'm starting to learn to take little pleasure when and where I can. It's given me a little pleasure to know that you're not so naive anymore now. That you finally understand what's going on with me. And... it's given me a little pleasure to know that bad things happen to bad people sometimes, as well as to good people. It's good to know that I'm not the only one with a curse hanging over me around here anymore. Realising who Leon's talking about, Jade stands up and scowls at her uncle. JADE You know what's really wrong? You are. Because I will never, EVER, be as bitter and twisted as you are! Life is what you make of it. And right now... you're making me feel sick! LEON Jade... JADE No! No! I'm sorry, but I hope Bo does beat some sense into you. Because until you pull yourself together, I don't want anything to do with you! Jade storms off, having left Leon speechless. Once he gets over the shock, Leon goes right back his normal bitter mood. Elsewhere, the door to Josie Baker's office opens, from the inside. And with a big grin on his face Landon Maddix leaves, carrying a mysterious black bag in his hand. COLE What is Landon so happy about? We're going to hear from Cucaracha Internacional next, here on HeldDOWN~! *COMMERCIAL BREAK* "We're running with the Shadows Of The Night So baby take my hand, you'll be alright Surrender all your dreams to me tonight They'll come true in the end" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! To the sounds of "Shadows Of The Night", the ranks of Cucaracha Internacional emerge from the shadows of the entrance. Landon leads the way with a big smile on his face and carrying that mysterious black felt bag. Behind him are the World 6-Man Tag Team Champions, James Blonde with Faqu and Nathaniel Black miserable at the back. Not forgetting Megan, miserable somewhere in the middle. COLE Landon Maddix, all smiles. Which must mean something's up. COACH Maybe he's just in a good mood. Not everything has to be suspicious. COLE What about the bag? COACH Probably just a packed lunch. You've been watching too much CSI I think, Cole-umbo. Entering the ring, the 6-Man Champs line up behind their leader, who calls for some quiet with a microphone in hand. MADDIX The observant among you might have noticed that Battlebowl starts tonight. So... that's a few of you. Fill in the rest while I talk, would you? See, Battlebowl starts tonight. Thirty two of the OAOAST's top stars fighting for a shot at the OAOAST World Title. Supposedly. Because those of you who noticed Battlebowl has started have probably also noticed that none of us are involved. "YYYAAAAAAAAAYYY!" Landon glances over his shoulder, not expecting that to be cheered. MADDIX We're not involved and for that, we have Josie Baker to thank. And if this sounds like I'm being sarcastic... it shouldn't. Fact is, I asked her not to put us in Battlebowl and she was kind enough to agree. COLE Probably anything to shut him up. COACH Shhh! MADDIX Now, you're probably wondering, 'Landon, why wouldn't you want the chance at another shot at the OAOAST World Title? After all, you were such a great World Champion the first time around'. And I'd laugh and try to act humble, even though you'd be right, before explaining that I've got more important things to do. We have more important things to do. For weeks, I've been touting these men in the ring with me. We are the strongest, greatest unit in the OAOAST. And we've been begging and pleading for the chance to prove it, without any of these other distractions. Well, it seems like Todd Cortez is a little distracted right now, but that's okay. He's got his stuff to deal with and we completely understand. Blonde can be scowling at Todd's mention. MADDIX You see, this ship is far from rudderless. We have a mighty captain steering us on. With Todd pre-occupied... and now that my other commitments are... 'cleared up'... I figure that it's about time that I got back into the ring! Oh yes! I've been sat on the sidelines, letting the rest of Cucaracha Internacional bath in my spotlight. I've been resting up a nagging little back injury, concentrating on being an inspirational leader. But now, my guys need me. And it's time to lead by example again. It's time for me to step into Todd's place and lead this team. Cue applause from James Blonde, answering the rallying cries even if no-one else will. MADDIX But although the line-up may be a little different, the mantra is still the same. We are the strongest and well-oilingest unit in the OAOAST. And we still know that no eight man team can beat Cucaracha Internacional. The problem is, we've put out this challenge to the OAOAST and I guess everybody agrees with us, because we're just not getting the challengers we expected. Nobody wants to go four on four with us. So I spoke to Josie earlier and after some long negotations, we've come up with a way to get this open challenge of ours really going. And a way for me to show my solidarity with these three. To be one of the guys. Not a leader, but a peer. Josie seems to be of the opinion that these 6-Man Tag Team Titles aren't being defended enough. And I'll admit, six man matches don't really fit into our plans. Well, I looked into it and discovered a little loophole. Let's call it the 'Original Elite Loophole'. Say goodbye to the OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions... Landon reaches into his mysterious black bag and removes... another title belt! MADDIX ...and say hello to the OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Champions!!! COLE What!? COACH Awesome! Landon hangs the belt over his shoulder and extends his arms, stepping back amongst his teammates. Blonde comes dangerously close to breaking his wrists, so hard and loud is his applause. COLE Why does the belt say 'SWF ICTV Championship' on it? COACH Probably just a typo. MADDIX From now on, we'll defend these titles as a foursome. The open challenge stays, any four who think they can beat this unit, you're welcome to try. But now you've all got something extra to fight us for. "Shadows Of The Night" hits again and the 6-Man Champions leave as 8-Man Champions COLE Can you believe this? Blonde, Black and Faqu have held the 6-Man Tag Titles for about seven months. Landon brings in a belt from home and suddenly they're '8-Man Tag Team Champions'? The rest of the belts have giant 6s on them. Because they're 6-Man Tag Team Titles! COACH Not anymore, you heard Landon. COLE Well this is certainly a turn up for the books. And a headache for the title history chapter of those books. Unprecedented stuff here on HeldDOWN~!

Cue: Sex and Money The production crew makes it rain, dousing the steel stage in crisp dollar bills. The Money Honey, Lorelei DeCenzo twirls onto the stage, her voluptuous body shown off beautifully in a mini dress with sparkling pink feathers. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is for the OAOAST Women’s Title…now making her way to the ring from Manhattan Beach, California she is the Money Honey…LORELEI DECENZOOOOOOOOO! “BOOOOOOOO” Displeased with the cold reception, Lori holds her nose up to the cruel audience. COLE The Enterprise with a chance to rake in another title this one the women’s title, in a match Josie is using to punish both Lorelei and Morgan Nerdly. I can’t necessarily say I agree with her actions. COACH Right on! Bout time you made some damn sense! How is Morgan gonna react to this? Who’s gonna get hurt because Josie made a dumb ass decesion. Lorelei enters the ring to continued disdain from the audience. They do however have to pay her begrudging respect as she shows off her perfect body with a slow and graceful spin. BUFFFER And the champion..... Cue: This is how I disappear GO! To un-explain the unforgivable, Drain all the blood and give the kids a show. By streetlight this dark night, A séance down below. There are things that I have done, You never should ever know! And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. ZAAAAP ZAAAAAP ZAAAAAP electrical sparks strike like misses onto the entrance way. Morgan explodes onto the stage with speed of a road runner. She paces back and forth across the entrance floor, her mouth muttering inaudible words at rapid speed. Despite the troubled look of the champion, Lorelei views Morgan with friendly warmth and waves her down to the ring. BUFFER From Edmonton, Alberta, Canda, she is the nineteen year old women’s champion, prepared to be shocked and awed by MORGAN NERDDDDDLY! The nineteen year old stomps down the entrance ramp, her mouth continuing to mumble her rage. Fans stay back, giving her a wide berth down the entryway, fearful of what anguish she may cause them. After throwing her women’s title into the ring, Morgan slides beneath the ropes. Her eyes stare painfully at her only friend. COLE Morgan does not look well. COACH That’s putting it lightly. Morgan instantly grabs onto referee Earl Hebner’s shirt and shakes him with all the violent force her tiny body can manage. MORGAN You can’t make me do this! I won’t do this! HEBNER Its not up to me. MORGAN I won’t do it, I can’t fight Lorelei! HEBNER Josie says you have to. MORGAN No she’s my friend! She’s my friend! As Morgan continues to plead Lorelei stands behind her with satisfied smirk filling her cherub face. HEBNER You have to fight her. MORGAN You can’t make me! I won’t hurt my friend! No, never! Never! Suddenly Morgan feels a tug on her legs. Before getting a chance to even react, she’s dragged against her will down to the canavs. Hebner drops down to count what has become a pinfall attempt from Lori. ONE! TWO! THREE! COLE I can’t believe it! Nor can Morgan and the crowd, as both sit in stunned and confused silence. The only sound emerges from Lorelei’s delighted celebration and her booming entrance music. COLE Lorelei just flat out betrayed her own “friend.” A “friend” that was desperately trying to get out of this match to avoid having to hurt her. Lorelei bows with grace and style befitting of the Money Honey, but receives a decidely negative reaction from the sold out audience. COACH First Mister Moneymaker now Lorelei DeCenzo, the gold is mounting for The Enterprise! COLE Yes, Lorelei won the women’s title from a severely mentally ill girl who had no one to trust besides Lorelei herself. Perhaps surprisingly, Morgan manages to keep her anger in check. However she exits the ring and takes off through the crowd. Though not actively seeking conflict, she delivers a hard shove to everyone she deems in her way. It takes several moments for Lorelei to recognize Morgan’s disappearance as she was so caught up in her own revelry. Smiling with pride, she motions for Morgan to return. However Morgan is long by the time such a half heatred gesture is made. Lorelei does have the audacity to wonder aloud why Morgan is so upset. COLE If you couldn’t tell by now you now know The Enterprise is full of snakes! COACH Sexy snakes in the case of Lorelei! Don’t get me wrong, Morgan is cute but she’s just a kid, I need a grown ass mature sexy woman in my life, and Lorelei gets that job done! Shake that ass, but watch ya self! COMMERCIAL

We return from break inside Josie's office where Lorelei DeCenzo stands with her arms folded and her lips frowning in disgust JOSIE I've done it. LORELEI Done what, exactly? Why am I here. JOSIE You're here because I finally found away around all your schemes and tricks. LORELEI Schemes and tricks? I have no clue as to what you're talking about, I've always displayed honesty and integrity. JOSIE Yeah, right. You and Moneymaker are the two biggest throns on the OAOAST's side. I think I've found a way to eliminate one of you. You've manipulated Morgan Nerdly into being a one woman wrecking crew. Because of your lies and deceit too many people have fell at Morgan's hands. LORELEI Lies and deceit? You don't understand anything, do you? I care for that girl as though she were my own flesh and blood sister. JOSIE Is that right? In that case you'll need to figure out how to put your sisterly love aside tonight, because you're facing Morgan for the women's title. LORELEI Impossible. I don't believe you. JOSIE You better, or else it could be a long night. LORELEI You'll regret crossing me. Everyone does in the end. With those ominous words, we cut and find a very sour looking Jade Rodez-Duncan, head fixed away from something. Or, someone. And as the camera pans back we see why, as that someone turns out to be Bohemoth. BOHEMOTH Will you just say something already? JADE Like what? BOHEMOTH Like 'I understand'. 'I forgive you'. JADE Even if I don't? Bohemoth sighs and shakes his head. JADE Look, I've got a lot to worry about at the moment, what with Mom and Leon, my family. I just... need some space. BOHEMOTH Fine. I think it's obvious who's side you're taking. But for what it's worth, I think deep down, you know I'm in the right. And I'll be in the right again. Because I'm not through with Leon yet. JADE Then I guess we're through here, aren't we? BOHEMOTH ...I guess we are. Sighing again, Bohemoth leaves. Glancing over her shoulder, a sad Jade hangs her head before walking off in the opposite direction. COMMERCIAL

Backstage we find Alix and Krista walking through the parking lot on the way to their car. With her eyes filled with worry Alix reads over a book “The Complete Guide to the Occult” Krista looks disinterested and annoyed. ALIX Don’t you wanna at least here what it has to say? KRISTA Only if the first words are “Alix , shut up and leave Krista alone” ALIX Hey, I’m trynna help! KRISTA Waking up chained to the hotel bed room, with a knife at my throat all in the name of exorcising the evil spirits is not exactly a Red Cross relief mission. ALIX Krista, you gotta accept that you’re cursed! The girls reach their Krista, but first Krista must put Alix in her place to get peace and quiet. KRISTA No. What I have to accept is that Megan Fox will never become a lesbian now matter many gold coins I throw in a wishing well, I have to accept that my mother’s jewish guilt has slowly eroded my already low will to live, but I will not accept that I am cursed, and I won’t accept that bastard has my title belt. I nearly choked out Rene Zwelliger when she wore the same shoes as me at the Oscars, think about I’ll do to Moneymaker. ALIX Krista, I’m super serious! This book says you only mere days before unthinkable terror consumes you. When have I ever been wrong? KRISTA Your wrong every day! Just last week you thought if you dressed the cat up in a superman outfit and tossed him off the roof he could fly. Did he fly? No, but he landed right smack in the middle of the set for the PETA commercial I was shooting. Now you’ve replaced Mike Vick on the top slot of their “too Kill” list ALIX Why are we out here anysnooch? KRISTA Because I must retrieve a lacrosse stick , functions as both a great sex toy for a giraffe and an effective tool to bash Moneymaker’s skull in. Krista opens the trunk only to have a battalion of bumble bees emerge from it. She’s incased in a surging capsule of angry bees. While Krista shrieks in horror over this sudden attack, Alix rushes to grab a fire extinghuisher. Straining with might and determination she blasts it at Krista’s buzzing and staining attackers. The substance is like a kryptonite to to the troupe of bees and they abandon Krista to be free of Alix’s weapon. Once the last bee has retreated, Krista slinks down against the rear of the car and holds her mouth agape with horror. Alix quickly returns to her side to comfort her out her shock. BRING BRING BRING BRING Seeing that Krista is in no mood to answer her iphone, Alix does it for her. ALIX Hi-ya! MAYA Alix? Put mom on the phone. ALIX Her head’s kinda buzzing hehehehehe so she wants things to BEE quiet heheheheheheh! What’s the deal, homegirl? MAYA Something’s wrong with the pool! The water is all gone and its been replaced by all this red goo. ALIX Possibly a pool filled with cherry jello, granting me my ultimate wish? MAYA No to that. ALIX Shucks! MAYA It looks like blood in a way. But whatever, Jade better learn some pool cleaning skills because there’s no way I’m taking care of it . Uh-uh not my job. Bye! CLICK KRISTA I’m having trouble adjusting to what is apparently an ongoing episode of the Twilight Zone, is my brand new Olympic zied outdoor pool filled with blood? ALIX It’ll be okay, Krista. Alix gives Krista a loving hug as we fade to….. COMMERCIAL

I fear KC may have suffered a tragic and untimely demise. We will pray for our fallen comrade and sing in his honor.

A looped version of the opening fanfare from “Jesus Christ Superstar” plays as the new OAOAST Champion Theodore Moneymaker, showered by CONFETTI, is carried in on his throne. Now he’s joined by one of the bikini-clad virgins, bearing a striking resemblance to Krista, who feeds him grapes. Oh, and there’s real life ELEPHANTS!! COLE This has got to be the most gratuitous display of ego I’ve ever witnessed. Elephants, bikini-clad “virgins,” Jesus Christ Superstar?! What’s next, the release of white doves? Sure enough, that’s exactly what happens as Moneymaker enters the ring in his flowing white robe. He takes several moments to suck in the championship paradise he has created for himself. Once he's filled with the vigor of his personal dedications he takes hold of a microphone. MONEYMAKER It is a blessed day, isn’t it? “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” MONEYMAKER When is a champion more than a champion? At what point does the personal glory of championship victory evolve into glory for all of humanity? When does the accomplishment of the few become the accomplishment of the many? When a lone hero transcends the shackles of human limitation, to emerge as something beyond mere man or simple mortal, but to the plateau of immortality. That hero is me. “BOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH I agree, sir, I agree wholeheartedly. MONEYAMKER Every hero is defined by his greatest villain. Lex Luthor to Superman, Luke Skywalker to Darth Vader. And Krista Isadora Duncan defined me in ways I was not prepared for. I had never known loss, or lacking, or struggling or fear until I encountered her and her witchlike ways. She was a worthy foe for a warrior of my stature and in many ways she eclipsed me. I was not prepared for a long three year war when I first crossed her path. No one could’ve prepared or warned me that everytime I thought I had conquered her or broken her, she would fight back with greater strength than ever before. Too many times have I had victory snatched from me by her jaws of defeat. Soon hatred turned into fascination or love, and this became both a war and a chase for the treasure that eludes me. This war has tested my resolve, my patience, and my will. But like any great hero of lore and fable I refused to give up. I knew the greater good of American family values that I championed would prevail over her wickedness. Now, my faith has led me to her world title, her company, entangled her into a voodoo curse, and soon her entire mind body and soul will be mine. Especially her body. Soon I will have my treasure and queen, Krista Isadora Duncan. “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” MONEYMAKER My championship reign will not be marred with matches in which the challenger walks out, shows where the champion is no where to be seen, title defenses against unworthy challengers. This championship reign is the reign of the American people! Unlike Krista who merely represented the Hollywood liberal elite, I hold the title high and proud for the janitors, the farmers, the meat packers, the factory workers, and most of all our boys in the Armed Forces. This is the title of America, and I am America's champion! Let it be known by all that whenever I defend this title I defend these shores of the land of the free and the home of the brave! Why a mere hour after winning the title my good family friend Jeb Bush gave me a rang and said if we had more guys like me in the service there wouldn’t be a Taliban or Al Qaueda member left breathing! Krista concerns herself with how she looks on the red carpet, or what they’re saying about her in tabloids. She does not care for the sport of wrestling as much as I do. As champion I intend to do what I always do and that is pour my heart and soul into this ring. COLE Please, Moneymaker hadn’t wrestled in nearly two months before that title match. He swoops in and takes what he wants. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” MONEYMAKER Krista is not going to come out if she has any sense. The world is an unwelcome place now that the evil of witchcraft circles around her. But I will not bring a storm cloud over this glorious sunshine. I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. And some of you have come from areas where your quest -- quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive. Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends. And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "Land of the free and hme of the brave." And see inspiration and hope in my bravery against adversity. I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood and discuss how the very world changed when I won my world title. COLE Oh god, he can’t be serious. MONEYMAKER I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice where those who spoke out against will bow before me in reverence. I have a dream that little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged for having me being their favorite athlete their but by the content of their character that display by recognizing my brilliance. I have a dream today! “BOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH Yo, my man was spittin truth to power. I felt a lot of Martin Luther King vibes from his greatness. COLE That’s because the latter half of his speech was ripped off entirely from Martin Luther King! Unexpectedly "Scream" the theme song of the orange county cobras hits. The fans offer a large pop in response to the music interrupting Moneymaker. Their happiness continues to grow as Ned Blanchard and Molly Nerdly step onto the stage. MONEYMAKER Traitors! You are not welcome here! NED Moneymaker, you think anyone is buying your line of B.S.? I bought it for a while but ain’t no way this crowd is buying it for a damn second. In most cases I’d let ya have your moment in sun, but you pissed me off big time. I don’t know if it was your damn curse or because you screwed with the ring ropes, but Krista, the mother of my daughter, is concussed. Krista and I ain’t always been on the best of times, but nothing changes the fact that she’s my kids mother. You hurt her and you hurt Maya. I ain’t about to let you get away with you did. You don’t deserve that championship, and you’re a damn disgrace! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” MONEYMAKER Shut up, you fool! You defend your child and your former lover only when its convenient to you. You think I forgot how you begged me to get you a better child support lawyer because you were afraid Maya would drain your pockets? Do you forget that you confessed to me that you cheated numerous times on Krista? MOLLY The content of Ned's character is changed. He is a better man! MONEYMAKER No he is not! Ned Blanchard, you are a sleazebag, and gutter trash! I will not permit you to railroad me off the tracks like the liberals have done to poor Sarah Pallin. An innocent loving woman such as her hasn’t the ability to fight back against the hounds. But I embody American strength and masculine dominance, therefore I will demolish you in my first title defense. NED You’re on! COLE Its Ned Blanchard in his very first world title shot against new champion Mister Theodore Moneymaker in our mainevent!

COLE Ladies and gentlemen, we just saw Theodore Moneymaker's parade, and now, we begin the road to determine who his opponent will be at AngleSlam! Battlebowl 2009 kicks off tonight! Cut to a split-screen of two locker rooms, one containing the face side, and one containing the heels. COLE And there you see all the participants, 32 in total, and eight of them are going to be chosen for two tag matches, one of which is about ready to take place right now! COACH Right now? Well, let's get going! COLE Let's go up to Josh Matthews and Maggie Nerdly at the tumbler! Cut to the aforementioned scene, with Maggie spinning the tumbler. JOSH All right, thank you, Michael! Of course, the rules of Battlebowl are simple, the first two names drawn will be tag partners, and the next two names will be their opponents! The winners of the match will go on to compete in a 16-man battle royal at the Chi-Town Spectacular on July 30th, the winner of which will challenge for the OAOAST World title at AngleSlam, August 31st from San Juan, Puerto Rico! And with that out of the way, Maggie, if you would draw that first name, please! Maggie stops the tumbler, and pulls a plastic container out, which Josh opens, and opens up the enclosed sheet of paper. JOSH Wow, how's this for a #1 pick...ALFDOGG!!! The crowd erupts, as Alf pumps his fists and stands up from his seat in the locker room, receiving a pat on the back from Baron Windels as he heads towards the ring. COLE Alf with that forehead bandaged, a result of that brutal WarGames match this past Sunday! JOSH And Alf's partner... Josh opens up the paper. JOSH From the Orange County Cobras, SIMON SINGLETON!!! Another positive reaction from the crowd, as Simon gives Ned a high ten before heading to the ring. COLE This could be a good team, a three-time World heavyweight champion and a four-time World tag team champion! JOSH Now the opponents... Josh grabs an egg and opens it up. JOSH Representing the Deadly Alliance...THUNDERKID!!! COLE Another man from WarGames thrust right into a Battlebowl match! TK consults with Reject and Mr. Dick before departing the locker room. JOSH And TK's partner...will be... Josh opens up the paper. JOSH The Metrosexual Monster, BOHEMOTH!!! COLE WHOA! Bo stands up and lets out a yell, before high-fiving Zack and heading to the ring. The camera cuts to a wide shot, then cuts to the aisle, where Alfdogg is walking down to the ring. Simon comes through the curtain as Alf is halfway down. Alf steps into the ring, then waits for Simon to enter the ring, and the two shake hands, with Alf slapping Simon on the chest in a friendly fashion. Thunderkid then makes his way down the aisle, to boos, taunting the crowd on his way out. The crowd then explodes in cheers, causing TK to turn around and see Bohemoth walk into the entrance. TK stops in his tracks, and points as if to say "that's my partner?", then walks to the ring with his hands on his hips. Bo eventually climbs into the ring and starts hopping in place, as TK starts talking to him. COLE And you can bet, these two not happy to be partners! TK starts poking Bo as he talks to him, so Bo pokes back, and TK backs off. COACH I think Bo should be thrilled, he's got a two-time World tag team champion in his corner! *DING DING DING* Alf steps out of the ring, leaving Simon to start. After continuing a brief argument, Bo steps out, leaving TK. COLE And it'll be Simon Singleton starting with Thunderkid, the two experienced tag team wrestlers in this match! TK gets up in Simon's face and starts talking trash. COLE And ironically, Alfdogg on the apron, he's held every active title in the OAOAST except for the tag team title! TK shoves Simon, who shoves right back. The two then tie up, and Simon grabs a headlock. TK shoves him into the ropes, and takes him down with a shouldercheck. He then runs to the ropes, and hops over Simon, who then turns over and catches TK with a reverse monkey flip! COLE Nice reverse monkey flip by Simon! TK backs off into a corner, working the kinks out of his shoulder. He then moves in again, and the two tie up, but Simon quickly takes down TK with an armdrag! TK gets to his feet, and starts yelling at some fans at ringside. COLE TK having some problems with some ringside fans here... Bo tells TK to worry about Simon, and TK responds by pointing the finger at Bo and yelling at him. TK grabs a headlock on Simon, then spins behind and grabs a hammerlock. Simon stays in the hold for a few seconds, then reverses, and schoolboys him... 1... 2... Kickout! TK protests to the referee that Simon pulled his tights, then motions the same thing to the crowd, who shower him in boos. COLE TK not making any friends with this crowd in East Rutherford tonight! Tie-up, and TK grabs a rear waistlock. Simon reverses to his own, but gets drilled with a TK elbow! COACH Yeah, there we go! TK delivers a foot to the gut, and a gutwrench suplex, then backs into the ropes and attempts an elbowdrop, but Simon rolls out of the way! COLE Nobody home on the follow-up, though! Simon follows with a scoop slam, then hits a foot to the gut, and catches him with a swinging neckbreaker, then tags in Alf! COLE First tag of the match, and Alfdogg in the ring! Alf whips TK into the ropes, and catches him with a AA SPINEBUSTER~! COLE BIG spinebuster! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COACH And TK is in big trouble here, he may want to think about tagging the big man in! TK rolls to the outside, where Bo berates him from the apron. TK gets on the apron, and has a brief argument with Bo, then steps back in, and ties up with Alf. He backs Alf into a corner, then backs off slowly, before driving a forearm into his chest. He delivers some European uppercuts, then tosses Alf over the ropes, before celebrating. However, Alf skins the cat back up! COACH Look out, TK! TK catches him, but Alf hooks him around the head and pulls him out to the floor! COLE And TK to the outside once again! Alf then completes his skin-the-cat move, and waits for TK to get to his feet. He hooks him in a front facelock, and suplexes him back inside! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Alf then tags Simon back in, and Simon picks up TK, and whips him into the ropes. Simon puts his head down, however, and TK drives in a kick! COLE Simon made a mistake there, and paid for it! TK picks up Simon, and executes a PRESS SLAM~! He then drops a knee to the sternum, and covers... 1... 2... Kickout! TK backs Simon into his corner, and tags in Bo. The crowd cheers upon Bo's entrance. COLE And Bohemoth finally getting a tag here! Bo whips Simon into the ropes, and takes him down with a BIG shouldercheck! COLE Wow, like running into a brick wall! Simon staggers to his feet, and Bo grabs him in an armbar. Simon struggles for a bit, then manages to take Bo to the mat, and grabs an armbar of his own! Bo works his way to his feet, then scoops up Simon, and drives him forward into the mat with a powerslam! COLE Lots of power on display from Bo tonight! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Bo grabs Simon, and tags TK back in. TK hammers away on Simon, then goes behind him and executes a back suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! TK goes for a kneedrop, but Simon rolls out of the way and tags Alf, while TK makes a tag to Bo! COLE Look at this! Bo has a smile on his face as he looks across the ring at Alf, then steps through the ropes, as the crowd cheers on in anticipation. COACH No question the fans wanted to see this matchup! Alf moves towards Bo, and the two tie up. Bo grabs a headlock, and wrenches down on it. However, Alf is able to slip out when Bo lets up, and hooks him in a hammerlock. He changes to an armbar, and Bo gets to the ropes by dropping to one knee. Alf slowly releases the hold...then delivers a big slap to the massive back of Bo! COACH How about that? Bo turns to look at Alf, who holds his arms out to the sides. The two tie up once again, and Bo quickly backs Alf into a corner, and starts hammering him with right hands and forearm blows. He then whips him across into another corner, catching him with a PRESS SLAM~! on the way out! COLE And now it's Alf being overpowered by the Metrosexual Monster! Alf backs off into a corner, as the referee keeps Bo back. Alf moves in once again, and trips Bo up by the right leg, then drops an elbow to it! COLE And now Alf working the leg of the big man! Alf stomps the leg, then picks up the other, and tries to step through, but Bo is able to quickly shove him off. COLE Alf going for the Sharpshooter right there, but Bo having none of that! Alf then makes his way to Bo, and delivers a kick right to the back of the head! COACH And Alf getting frustrated now, I think! Alf backs Bo into a corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! The chops are having no effect, as Bo stares down Alf. Alf stares back for a second, then delivers a third CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Alf backs off, then delivers a thumb to the eye! He then grabs Bo in a headlock, and rakes his eyes across the ropes! COLE And Alf pulling out all the stops now! Alf then hooks Bo, and executes a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! However, as he gets to his feet, TK nails him from behind! COACH TK knew that Alf was going for the kill there, and put a stop to it! Bo rolls to the outside, as Simon comes in and takes TK down to the mat, and the two brawl to the outside, as boos fill the arena. The camera cuts out to show Reject sauntering down to ringside, carrying a steel chair. COLE And here comes Reject now, and he's got a chair! Alf spots Reject coming down the aisle as he comes to, and makes his way to his feet, inviting him into the ring. The referee steps in between as Reject has one leg on the apron, and Reject gets down. COLE Referee attempting to keep Reject from entering the ring... Reject stares at Alf for a few seconds...then turns and cracks Bo over the head with the chair as he gets to his feet! The referee calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COLE Reject just hit Bo, and now the referee has called for the bell! COACH I think Alf and Simon are gonna be disqualified! BUFFER The winners of the match, via disqualification...the team, of THUNDERKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID and BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! COLE TK and Bohemoth the first participants in the Battlebowl battle royal, and if you ask me, Alf, along with Simon Singleton, just got screwed by Reject! Alf stares down the aisle at Reject, who has a smirk on his face, as he celebrates with TK. The smirk suddenly turns to a look of fear, however, as he sees Bo dashing down the aisle towards him and TK! COLE And Bo has got his sights set on Reject, and look at them run! COACH Hey, Bo should thank Reject, Reject just sent him and TK to Battlebowl! COLE Wait a minute. Fans, I’m being told… COACH He’s here, Cole! He’s here! COLE Well let’s just go there right now. TO THE BACK~! we go, where Theodore Moneymaker and the gang have arrived at the arena. Ushered in under the protection of VICE, Moneymaker acknowledges the sea of people backstage, from wrestlers to crew members. MONEYMAKER Mr. Dick, how nice of you to come. We cut to Mr. Dick leaned against a wall, Malaysia nibbling on his neck. MR. DICK Twice actually! Oh, that's rich stuff right there. Anyway, Moneymaker and company near the Gorilla position. COACH Oh, my God, Cole! I think the Billion Dollar Heir is ready to bless us with his presence! COLE And we’ll have that when we return live! COMMERCIAL

I guess I better take the unwanted runt of the litter, Ned Blanchard & Conquistador Uno vs CPA & Jamie O'Hara

do not miss this... http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_y...02182142AAbJ4CA http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_y...02204248AAVCO4T http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_y...03084946AAQBKlE http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_y...13002035AAxb9xw

ehhhh I think I'll post it on suday

Maaaaan I was trying to avoid actual work but I guess I'll do Leon Rodez & Colin Maguire Jr. vs Rico de Janiero & Spencer Reiger Alf are you going to PM who the winners should be or is it all up to us to decides who wins?

The funky 80’s alike sounds of Je Veux Te Voir” are heard over the loud speakers, as every video screen besides the Angletron showcases a waving French flag. From the back comes Sophie Grey, dressed to rumble in black athletic pants and white tshirt with her name scrawled across the back. BUFFER The following contest is for the OAOAST Women’s title! Now making her way to the ring from Marseille, France she is the challenger, SOPHIE GREEEEEEEEEY! Sophie receives a nice amount of applause as she enters the ring. She nods to the fans in the front row who wave the flag of her home country. COLE This was almost Jade versus Sophie but Leon Rodez had to ruin that on HeldDOWN~! COACH I’m changing the subject. I like Sophie because she ain’t got hairy armpits like a lot of French girl, you raise another French girl’s hand in victory and you got a god damn tragedy! But she wears pants, so maybe she got them hairy legs, out lookin like cousin it beneath them track pants. Makes a man sick. COLE You’re a horrible broadcast commentator. you really are. GO! To un-explain the unforgivable, Drain all the blood and give the kids a show. By streetlight this dark night, A séance down below. There are things that I have done, You never should ever know! And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. Images of flickering and flaring electrical charges appear across all video screens, the perfect companion to the bolt of electricity that screams down onto the stage. Dark blue lights carpet the surface, as Morgan Nerdly brushes her way through the entrance doors. Looking as venomous as a snake, she wears a pintsripped booty shorted romper and her title belt over her shoulders. BUFFER And, her opponent. From Edmonton, Alberta, Canada... she is the current reigning and defending OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION!! Prepare for SHOCK and awe from MMMOOOOOOORRRRRGGAAAAAAANN... NNEEEERRRRRDDLLLLLYYYYYYYY!!! COLE Morgan, a very troubled and unstable world champion, forced into defending her title in a rematch with Sophie Grey. She has a hard and tumultuous time lately tricked into an investigation of a crime that never happened, in which she injured several crew men. What could’ve been Lorelei’s purpose for that? COACH To create a killer instinct! Morgan enters the ring, and snatches the microphone out of Buffer’s hands. MORGAN I have something to say. This isn’t easy for me, but I’ve hurt a lot of people here. And I’ve sent many people to hospitals and I left them with uncertain injury plagued futures. I guess I did it out of hate, anger, rage, and I guess it sorta satisfied me. It made me happy to see someone else in pain, because it was the one time I felt a close connection with anyone. But I’m starting to realize that I was wrong, I can’t keep doing this. I have to get more help, more pills, more whatever. People aren’t safe with me around. I think that maybe I need to go away someplace where I can’t hurt others…and myself. I guess I should give this to you. Morgan extends the women’s title to Sophie. SOPHIE I do not want it. MORGAN Please take it. SOPHIE I do not want it. MORGAN I’m giving it to you. SOPHIE I do not want the title this way. MOGAN Take it! SOPHIE No. MORGAN Take it right now! SOPHIE I will not. MORGAN Do it! Take my title! SOPHIE I will not ta- BAAAAAAM! Morgan slams the title directly into Sophie’s head, as her foes topples over , Morgan chucks the belt over the ropes and orders the ref to start the match. DING DING DING COACH Morgan weren’t messin around! How you gonna turn down free stuff? Free stuff! I’d take a free day of slavery if it was offered to me. Morgan scoops Sophie up, seething sadistically. Her arms fall under her’s in a double underhook. In moments she’s lifting Sophie up and slamming her downwards with a double underhook suplex. Morgan angrily turns to the referee, who was merely checking on Sophie’s condition. With the referee out the way, Morgan grabs Sophie’s leg. She then falls backwards, propelling Sophie into the turnbuckles. As Sophie lies worn out on the posts, Morgan backs to the center of the ring. She then cartwheels to Sophie before unfurling her body and nailing her in the back of the head with an elbow. COLE Sophie’s at a extreme disadvantage here. COACH And she could’v been the brand new women’s champion. Morgan hooks onto Sophie’s body with a rear waistlock. But Sophie prevents an upcoming german suplex by tightening her hands on the ropes. This frustrates Morgan and she screams in rage as she makes a futile attempt to suplex her foe. Soon her grip is broken entirely when Sophie crashes an elbow into the back of her head. Morgan rolls backwards, uncurling her body and staring with hatred at Sophie. She chews on her slightly curled blond hair, while murder burns in her eyes. Finally she comes roaring back at Sophie. But the French girl meets her arrival with a chop to her exposed chest. Morgan stumbles backwards, clutching her now reddened chest and growling in rage. She comes back towards Sophie with another charge but this time the challenger slides herself out the way. COLE Morgan is letting her rage guide her, and maybe she needs to maintain a cooler and calm headed focus. Sophie lifts Morgan up by her exposed legs and brings her onto her shoulders as though she were giving a piggy back ride. COLE Electric Chair Drop? The planned move does not go off the way Sophie intended, however, thanks to Morgan rolling backwards and throwing her to the ground with a head scissors. As soon as they hit the canvas, Morgan is back to her feet. She runs to the ropes and let them push her back to Sophie.. When the French girl begins to rise, Morgan angles herself downwards and smashes her pumps into the side of her head. “I told you to take it!” Morgan screams at her foe as she lays into her with hard stomps. Once finished with the stomps, the women’s champion pulls Morgan upright by her t-shirt. But the challenger throws punches into her midsection that force Morgan to relinquish her hold on Sophie and double over in pain. This allows Sophie to snatch her inside a front facelock. She then drops backwards striking Morgan with a DDT. A pinfall attempt follows… ONE! TWO! Morgan kicksout and looks none to pleased about having been forced to do so. The tiniest Nerdly girl is back on her feet, and Sophie is as well. The challenger lashes out at Morgan with a parade of forearm each hitting with pinpoint accuracy. After five strikes land a desperate Morgan shoves Sophie away. But there isn’t even a moment to catch her fleeting breath before she’s faced with a sudden charge from the francophone. Morgan reacts with light speed, stretching downwards and taking Sophie’s legs out from under her with basement dropkick. COLE A very HARD strike from the women’s champion. But let’s give credit to Sophie for her admirable performance after such an awful way to start the contest. Perhaps even more awful is Morgan’s next strategy. She rips off one of the buttons on her pinstriped booty shorted romper and with sadness penetrating her face jams that very button into Sophie’s eye. COLE How deplorable! “Why didn’t you take the title? Why? Why?” Morgan shrikes as she gouges at Sophie’s eyes. Finally the official interjects himself and picks up Morgan’s petite body and drags her away from Sophie. Morgan kicks and screams like a little child, trying to get herself to freedom. Unable to break the ref’s grip, Morgan resorts to driving the spike of her pumps into his foot. Instantly released for an official who now bellows in pain, the inspector rushes to attack Sophie. But Sophie is prepared for her arrival and greets her a quick rollup ONE! TWO! But again Morgan forces her way out the pinfall. Sophie stays on her, quickly grabbing her bare legs. Morgan fights furiously to prevent Sophie’s planned attack, but finds no success. This failure allows Sophie to twist her over into a boston crab. Morgan yells out in annoyance, rage, and pain. With howls continuing to pour out her pink lips, the littlest Nerdly starts a crawl to the ropes. Despite Sophie’s intent on keeping her trapped, Morgan quickly makes ground on her trek to the ropes. Realizing that her boston crab is quickly being rendered useless, Sophie quickly breaks and with equal speed tightens her into a crossface hold. COLE The crossface is locked in! COACH Morgan’s never submitted before, and something tells me she’s just crazy enough to sit through the pain. Though the agony is great, Morgan still finds the strength and will to inch ever closer to the ropes. In response Sophie further tightens her hold, sticking to Morgan with all the strength in her body. But Morgan remains resilient and resisitent, forcing herself along the canvas to reach the ropes. Finally after much struggle her hands fall across the bottom cable. COLE A valiant effort by Morgan to make it to safety, but how much did that take out of her? Morgan struggles through the pain to bring herself upright. There she’s met with forearms and elbow strikes from her challenger. The blows leave her weak and she sags against the ropes, with her blond hair laying like a mop. Sophie hooks onto her short romper, and tucks her head inside her arms. She then brings her back down with back drop that she holds into a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Morgan again pops out the pinfall. She rolls to her feet with some speed, but is met with a kick to the knee from Sophie. Morgan hobbles for several seconds before Sophie takes hold of her and strikes her with knee crusher. Morgan falls over to the mat, and grits her teeth in anger and pain. Both those feelings are increased ten fold when Sophie grabs onto her sore leg and strikes it with an elbow. She returns to her feet and replays the same move, causing Morgan to shout her anguish. COLE Sophie has come a long way with her wrestling since making her in ring debut. COACH That ain’t enough to stop Morgan, though. You gotta be prepared for anything when Morgan’s your opponent. Sophie scoops Morgan up in setup for another knee breaker. But instead of reusing that hold, she rushes to the corner and slams Morgan’s knee into the ring post. Morgan howls as pain shoots across her limb. Showing little mercy, Sophie smacks Morgan’s leg against the second post with two more strikes. She then hikes Morgan higher and slams her into the canvas with a high angle back drop. Morgan’s little body lies weakened on the canvas allowing for a pinfall from Sophie… ONE! TWO! Morgan again gets her shoulder off the canvas and annoyance begins appearing on Sophie’s face. She lifts Morgan off the canavs and throws her into the ropes. Morgan hobbles back to Sophie who attempts to nail her with a lariat. But Morgan ducks the hold, comes up behind Sophie. Giving her no chance to turn around, Morgan grabs onto her neck and brings her down with a neckbreaker! Haste playing on her features, Morgan hooks the leg for a pivotal pinfall… ONE! TWO! Sophie throws her shoulder off the canvas. Morgan drags her off the canvas, and positions her on her shoulders for The Shock And Awe (F-U) but Sophie easily slips out the hold, and comes down behind Morgan. This allows to duck low and take out Morgan’s injured leg with a shoulder tackle. Thinking that’s enough to secure the pin, Sophie pins Morgan. ONE! TWO! Morgan kicks out barely before the three count. Sophie grabs her by the seat of her booty shorted pants and brings her to her feet. She staggers Morgan with a parade of jabs and then takes the dizzied challenger onto her shoulders. COACH She’s gonna steal Morgan’s finisher! As an Inspector Morgan simply can’t let any theft go unpunished. Thus she fights her way free of Sophie’s grip, using her compact frame to slide down Sophie’s back and trap her into a rollup pin! ONE! TWO! But, the challenger kicks out in the nick of time. COLE So close, so very close I bet Sophie can taste the women’s title. COACH I wonder if it tastes like chicken? Morgan immediately rushes to her feet, seeking to gain an advantage over Sophie. This, however, does not work as Sophie seizes her moment to strike. She grabs onto Morgan’s bare legs and drops the Nerdly girl with a double leg takedown. Her plan is to take Morgan into a leg lock. The teenager realizes this and frets with panic. Its that same fear that leads Morgan to reach upwards with all her might and pull Sophie into another rollup pinfall. ONE! TWO! Sophie again kicks out. Morgan’s face flares with malice, and despite her weakness she’s back on her feet in a matter of moments. But Sophie’s a shade quicker than the little Nerdly girl and darts at her. Seeing Sophie coming, Morgan prepares her defense by crouching down. This lets her easily take Sophie lean frame onto her shoulders. Sophie attempts to fight out the hold, but Morgan’s grip remains deadly firm. With a mighty heave, the teenager is able to flip Sophie down with her Shoclk and Awe! COLE Morgan hit it, and I’m going to be shocked and awed if that’s not going to seal the deal! Morgan hooks onto Sophie’s leg for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING Morgan’s entrance theme comes rocking back into the arena to hail her victory. But Morgan is in no mood for celebration, seething with anger. BUFFER Your winner and still OAOAST women’s champion…MORGAN NERDLY! Morgan takes hold of her women’s title, snatching it from the referee. She glares with hostility at Sophie and screams “You should’ve taken it!” repeatedly.

Real rap right hurrr, the hood has been checkin for this HOT FIRE. Dope boys around the block steady askin me when I'm gonna drop that heat on em, that shit that make ya lean back on em, that shit that make ya say god damn on em. women's match to be finished by tonight!!!!!! We settle upon a view of our legendary ring announce encased in a purple spotlight. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is our main event for the evening and it is for the OAOAST World Title and thirty percent shares in FIT with KID. [b][color="#00FF00"][i]Please allow me to introduce myself Im a man of wealth and taste Ive been around for a long, long year Stole many a mans soul and faith And I was round when jesus christ Had his moment of doubt and pain Made damn sure that pilate Washed his hands and sealed his fate Pleased to meet you Hope you guess my name But whats puzzling you Is the nature of my game[/i][/color][/b] To the tune of Guns N Roses version of Sympathy for the devil, Mister Moneymaker walks into an arena where green and yellow lights swirl across the area. Clad in a white high collared robe open to expose his white trunks and green kneepads, Moneymaker waves his “moneyfingers’ to an unwelcoming Philadelphia audience. BUFFER Introducing the challenger, he weighs in at two hundred thiry six pounds, is a former one and only tag team champion, as well as an Angle Award winner, he is a graduate of Yale, and NCAA wrestling champion, he is from Vero Beach, Floridia….THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR, THE MESSIAH, MISTER THEODORE MONEYMAKER! Disdain springs from the mouth of every fan of the arena, drawing hard stares from the much disliked challenger. COLE Here comes a desperate man. A damn desperate man. COACH What are you talking about? COLE He had Krista attacked in the parking lot on HeldDOWN just so that he could level a curse on her. A curse! Curses don’t exist, and he had to resort to Uno and Dos’ black magic nonsense because he desperate for the world title and to hold onto his shares of FIT with KID. Moneymaker forces the referee to hold the ropes open, so that he may enter the bathed in green light OAOAST ring. Then he demands that the overworked ref remove his warm. While the official gently puts the robe outside the ring, Moneymaker raises his “moneyfingers” to disgusted OAOAST Marks. [b][color="#FF00FF"]Gimme them bright lights, long nights High rise, overtime Gimme them bright lights, long nights Party till the sun is rising High rise, overtime Working 'till the moon is shining Hot guys, fly girls Never gonna say it I feel on top of the world, I feel on top of the world Hey![/color][/b] With the tune of On Top of The World entrance doors spread apart, cheers come from the stands, and Krista stomps out from back looking more serious than usual. Okay, that’s not saying much but she is wearing her SERIOUS ABOUT WRESTLING outfit, of a black cut off t-shirt and rhinestone encrusted pink bell bottoms. Its like Bret Hart meets the playboy mansion! Absent are the usual scantily clad dancers, and present is a nasty scowl etched on her face. COLE World champion Krista Isadora Duncan looks angry, is angry and has every right to be angry. She was outright assaulted and supposedly cursed on HeldDOWN, and she wants Moneymaker’s part in her company back where it belongs, in her hands! BUFFER And the champion….she is from Los Angeles, California, she is a four time OAOAST tag team champion, a New York Times best selling author, a Hollywood Walk of Famer, the founder of FIT with KID, a loving mother, and world renowned fitness guru, she is KRISTA ISAAADORAAA DUNCAAAAAAN! Krista slides into the ring, met with a stare of contempt from Moneymaker. She will not be backed down however, and continues drawing herself close to the billion dollar heir. COLE The champion from Los Angeles, California, and the challenger from Vero Beach, Florida collide once again in their epic rivalry. DING DING DING The match begins and murder suddenly fills Krista’s bright blue eyes. Rage guides her very step and shoots her into Moneymaker’s torso with a spear. Connecting with so much force, she propels both their bodies to the outside canvas. Clearly winded by the unexpected strike, Moneymaker lies defenseless on the mats and Krista’s high heels batter his back. Bored with merely stomping the billion dollar heir, the queen of fitness picks him up. “Theodore Moneymaker please meet announce table, I don’t think you’ve been properly acquainted yet.” Krista solves that problem by throwing the challenger’s head into the top of the announce table. The Floridian is quick to pull himself off the mat, but he staggers as if in a painful fog. Unfortunately his aimless movements carry him towards Krista who whips him in the back with a throng of TV cables. Next, she drops her weapons and springs forward to nail him in the jaw with a running knee! As the audience cheers her own, the world champion takes another run at her hated rival. But this time her attack is halted by the rising elbow he smacks into her face. With Krista momentarily stunned he’s able to attach her inside a front facelock. In moments he’s flinging her backwards with a snap suplex. “MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS!” the fans chant as he taunts them with his “money fingers”. Leaving the crowd alone for the moment, Moneymaker picks Krista up by her cut off t-shirt and attempts to toss her over the guardrail. But the agile beauty uses the guard rail as something akin to a pole vault and wings around to strike her money making legs into his chest. The blow stumbles him backwards where he’s caught by the ring apron. Unable to recover in quick enough time, he’s felled by diving dropkick from the world champion! A huge pop comes from the stands, as the challenger’s head snaps off the thin black mats. Feeling a bit mischievous the walk of famer grabs a video camera and gives a first person view to her stomping the life out her challenger. COLE So much for a curse, Krista is having her way hear tonight. COACH Bet you won’t be saying that when the scoreboard falls on her. Moneymaker finds his way upright, with his hand held across his throbbing head. Krista digs her fingers into his dollar green tights and throws him into the steel steps. The force of the throw dislodges the steel steps and they tumble to the ground. While he groans in pain, Miss California takes herself down the apron. Hunching she waits with eagerness for Moneymaker’s rise. Once he stands the lovely BUTT shot is gone, replaced by her legs wrapping around his neck and throwing him down to the mats.! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” COLE Dos and Uno need to go watch some episodes of Bewitched, their magic isn’t working at all! Miss California throws Moneymaker into the ring. Following his path, she raises herself onto the ring apron. She then uses the ropes to launch herself onto his back with a twisting senton splash! A pinfall follows, and Charles Robinson counts along… ONE! TWO! Moneymaker succeeds in kicking out. Still slightly dazed, he rolls himself to his feet. Krista eludes him however, running to the ropes. Unfortunately her return sees her nailed with the billion dollar knee lift. Moneymaker takes a moment to catch his breath, and once that’s settled he whirls around to level her with a spinning lariat. Already angered over her fighting ability, Moneymaker stares at her with a face locked in rage. That rage turns on Krista, and nearly lacerates her with a running leg drop! He once again shows off his “money fingers” before falling on her for the pin… ONE! TWO! Krista gets a shoulder off the canvas. “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE I’ll tell you this, I have seen few rivalries with as much hatred, passion, and twists and turns as this between Krista and her sworn enemy Mister Moneymaker. The walk of famer crawls to the corner, her breath slowed by the powerful lariat. Her time to rest isn’t a long one; the challenger brings her upright and whips her to the opposite corner. Her speed allows her to avoid the collision with ring posts and raise her heels onto the third rope. She then flips backwards to the tycoon with a moonsault. But her slender figure comes down within his clutches and he twists her over for a power slam. COLE Theodore Moneymaker made his debut about four years ago tagging with Black T, just a year after his graduation from Yale where he won two NCAA titles in wrestling. Despite his amateur credentials, Moneymaker’s style is mostly brawling and cheating. Showcasing those cheating and brawling skills, The Messiah crushes Krista’s throat with his golden boots. Quickly forced away from Krista, Moneymaker makes a dash for the ropes. He comes in with speed and precision to attempt to nail Krista with the billion-dollar knee lift. But that fails miserably when Krista lowers the third rope. As a result the Yale alum topples onto the ring apron, barely avoiding a tumble to the floor. Dizzied by the ordeal, he slowly raises himself off the mat. But danger continues to follow as Krista leaps over the ropes, with his head in her arms and bulldogs him right into the announce table! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” “Curse, huh?” She barks “I got a curse for you, [BEEP] YOU MOTHER[BEEP] [BEEP]SUCKER I HOPE YOU [BEEP] GET [BEEP] BY A [BEEP] AND A GOD [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP] on your chest, you homophobic anti-Semitic [BEEP]!” COLE Oh my! Still seething with madness, Krista throws her opponent back into the ring. Sliding in after him, she reaches his body for the latest pinfall… ONE! TWO! Moneymaker pushes his shoulder off the canvas, and the fans are none to pleased. Krista pulls Moneymaker to his feet and tosses him into the ropes with an irish whip and then bounces off them on her own. As she comes back to the billionaire her gorgeous legs wrap and his neck and spin him around for a dizzying head scissors. Upon Moneymaker’s rough landing Krista tries to strike him with a standing shooting star press. But he raises his green kneepad covered legs and blocks the attack. Krista’s rock hard abs help defend against the counter, and she along with her foe are fast to their feet. Moneymaker attempts to strike first by lifting her for a body slam. But her baby oil slicked body allows her to slither down his back. Before he can turn around, her high heels snap at him with a dropkick that pushes him into the corner. She follows in with a charge, but her arch rival scuttles out the way. Fortunatley Krista is able to clasp her hands around the ring ropes to avoid crashing into the turnbuckles. Running back towards Moneymaker, she slides her long legs between his arms in a wheel barrel position. She uses her leg strength to push herself up and then comes down with a rollup! ONE! TWO! Krista ends the pinfall herself when she realizes Moneymaker’s mouth is way to close to her feminine regions. Back on her feet, Miss California rushes into the ropes. They spit her back at Moneymake, but he catches her with a spinning back elbow that strikes her dead in the jaw. Using his underrated agility he attempts a sunset flip. But no pin can be counted as Krista easily rolls through the pin. She comes off the ropes once more. But again Moneymaker counters her latest attack, with a double leg takedown. Holding onto her gorgeous legs he attempts to twist her into a boston crab. But the slow movement of his submission allows Krista to surprise him with a rollup! ONE! TWO! Moneymaker kicks out! “BOOOOOOOOOOO!” Somewhat exhausted by the frentic pace of the contest, Moneymaker rolls onto his side to regain his energy. Several seconds later he attempts to return to his feet, but is met with a thudding kick against his head. He topples over and Krista dives onto him for another pin… ONE! TWO! Moneymaker forces his way out the pin, which leaves Krista more than slightly annoyed. While Moneymaker tries to gather up his strength, Krista makes another run of the ropes. But, as she returns Moneymaker springs upright and strikes her in the neck with a lariat! Considering that attack good enough, he crawls on top of her for a pin of his own. ONE TWO Krista throws her shoulder off the mat, leading to great cheers from the audience. More annoyed than joyous fans, Moneymaker rams his fist into the top of Krista’s head. Once done with the basic attacks, he grabs Krista by her skimpy top and hauls her to her feet. With frustration and anger playing on his face, he throws her forward, sending her sliding beneath the bottom rope. She flies like a missile before connecting perfectly with the steel guardrail. Pleased with his cheap attack, Moneymaker raises his fist in triumph. “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” they chant as the billion dollar exits the ring. COLE Moneymaker testing the limits of the rules in a world title match. COACH No way any ref would give him the DQ, the fans would riot if a world title match mainevent ended like that. With thick handfuls of her hair, Moneymaker forces Krista upright and walks her to the announce table. He throws her into one, leaving her in a sizable amount of pain. Hoping to increase her agony, he hooks her inside a front facelock. Next he drops backwards and spikes her head off the canvas with a DDT. She moans in miserey and clutches her now sore head. COLE Moneymaker has used every inch of the ring floor in this world title contest. COACH No surprise there, Mikey. Moneymaker is a smart dude, he’s a graduate of Yale, his brain works on a high level. COLE Well, Krista has two masters degrees to his one bachelor’s so maybe she’s the smartest between them! Possibly the smartest, but that doesn’t help her any as she’s rolled into the ring and subjected to another pinfall… ONE! TWO! Kirsta lifts her shoulder off the canvas. Her reward for the kickout is a sleeper hold from the tycoon. “LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA!” Moneymaker wrings KID’s neck, causing it sizable damage. He smiles to himself, thinking her close to being on the verge of submission. But those hopes are perhaps a bit premature; Krista uses her strength to push herself to her feet. Moneymaker attempts to tighten his hold on the fitness queen. However he encounters failure as she sits out to break it with a jaw breaker! “YEAAAAAAA!” the fans scream as Moneymaker stumbles away , nursing his hurt jaw. Krista staggers into the corner, using the ropes to pull herself up. Pushing aside his horrible pain, Moneymaker rushes forward with a shoulder aimed for Krista’s midsection. The California hottie slides out the way upon noticing Moneymaker, and he meets the cold steel of the post in her place. Hitting with enough force to propel him to outer space, Moneymaker is quickly deposited to the outside. COLE The fans like that one! Perhaps Moneymaker needs to look before he leaps. Back onto his feet, Moneymaker curses a blue streak at both the fans that taunt him as well as Krista. However his vulgar mouth is quickly silenced when the world champion, dives through the ropes and connects with a brilliant shoulder tackle. “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” comes from the audience, while Krista and Moneymaker lie exhausted and weak on the outside. Despite her anguish and suffering, Krista is the first to her feet. She uses this to her advantage and brings Moneymaker upright to push him back inside the ring. Brushing her hair away from her blue eyes, Miss California finds her way to the apron. A brief wait follows, as she watches Moneymaker pull himself up. Once fully up, he’s victimized by a flying dropkick from the champ! The fans cheer with excitement, as she throws herself off the ropes and comes back to level the challenger with a spinning wheelkick! Moments after toppling over, Moneymaker lazily brings himself off the canvas. Unfortunately he must deal with Krista leaping into him with the KIDology. But the tycoon counters the finisher with a deadly spine buster! COLE Oh! Moneymaker must’ve seen the KIDology coming. Laughing his sinister laugh, Moneymaker hooks onto Krista’s legs for a pinfall attempt. ONE! TWO! But again the world champion finds her way out the fall. The fans happily laud her efforts, while Moneymaker takes to grousing about the count. COLE Moneymaker was the closest he’s ever been to being a world champion right there. COACH Mister Moneymaker can see the championship getting closer and closer with evey move. You’re almost there, sir! Sharing the same sentiments as his loyal ass kisser, the billion dollar heir forces Krista up with a fistful of her hair. Deeply annoyed that someone’s touching her well styled hair, she begins firing punches into Moneymaker’s stomach. Stunning him with the flurry of blows, Krista runs back to the ropes and uses them to launch herself at her foe. She takes to the skies, landing across Moneymaker’s shoulders for a hurricanrana. But he clasps his hands down on her waist and shoots her into the canvas with a powerbomb! Pain dances across Krista’s face, while Moneymaker breathes heavily but maintains a small smile. He then bounces himself off the ropes, and once he comes back to Krista he angles his fist downward for his Fistful of Dollars! But right as he nears his foe, she pulls herself out of his path and his slams into the canvas! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” While he attends to his wounded hand, Krista takes her chance to clamp down on him with a front facelock. Her plan is to strike him with The Life In The Fab Lane (twist of fate) But it’s a plan that has little success due to Moneymaker hooking onto her bell bottoms and surprising her with a northern lights suplex! The referee slides into position to count the pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Krista kicksout and the fans throw ecstatic cheers into the air. Having believed he had secured the world title, Moneymaker angrily slams his fist into the mat, an attempt to control his urge to slug the referee. COACH Mikey, I thought this thing was all over. Zebras are trynna do Mister Moneymaker dirty! COLE It takes much more than a Northern Lights suplex to beat Krista. If anyone should know that its Theodore Moneymaker. Returning to his feet, Moneymaker remains astonished with mouth dropped open, unable explain this setback. Totally ignoring the set rules, Moneymaker removes a pair of brass knucks from his tights. Grinning like a madman, he slides them onto his fingers. “BOOOOOOOOO!” COLE I told you, Coach, he is a desperate man! First a curse and now this, Moneymaker prepares to strike Krista down with his illegal weapon. But as he cocks his fist, the beauty dropkicks him directly in his arm. The limb smacks backwards and he punches himself in the face with his brass knucks. The Floridian topples sideways, with a waterfall of blood tricking down his nose. COACH Ref, disqualify her! She cheated! COLE She just gave the billion dollar heir a bitter taste of his own medicine! With labored breaths, Krista drapes her arm across the challengers chest… ONE! TWO! To the fans incredible disgust, Moneymaker raises his shoulder off the mat. “K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!” COLE The Philly crowd showing their support for the world champion! COACH Don’t waste your breath, OAOAST Marks. Bereft of his brass weapon, Moneymaker drags himself upright. Unfortunately his gorggy state fails to register Krista’s legs laced around his ankles, and he’s brought down face first without protection onto discarded weaponry! “YEAAAA!” With the fans solidly rooting her run, the speedy babe takes another run off the ropes. But Moneymaker lashes out and snaps onto her tan legs! Having dropped her to the canavs, he fights off the struggles and turns her over into a boston crab. Immediately Krista howls out in pain, as her bones and muscles burn from the submission. COLE Krista has never submitted, but will this be the historic first time? Krista shrieks and screams, having a hard time resisting the pain. Moneymaker demands her submission but he’ll get none of it with Krista furiously fight her own urge to submit. Tettering on the edge of desperation, she reaches out for the only thing that will help her: the brass knucks. Her fingers dash and crawl to the metal weapon, unbeknownst to Theodore Moneymaker. COACH Don’t let her get it, sir! COLE He has no idea she’s even attempting to grab it. And by the time he knows, it’ll be too late. As Moneymaker continues to call for her submission, Krista continues to work to avoid it. Suffering through immense pain, she carefully moves the brass knucks around her fingers. She twists her body and encounters a flood of agony, but keeps doing so in order to get the proper angle. Next she shoots her arm forward and hits Moneymaker with a brass knucks assisted low blow! “YEAAAAAAAAAA” While the fans shout with joy, Moneymaker staggers away with hands around his busted nickles and dimes. COLE Forget a curse on Krista! He should curse the day he ever thought to use those knucks. Moneymaker’s pain is made all the worse when Krista leaps with her knees pressed into her chest and brings him downward with a KIDology! COLE The KIDology from the champ! Really brilliant magic curse you used there, Moneymaker. The fans jump out their seats and bring out raucuous applause for her finish. Krista just steels her face in determination knowing she’ll need something more to end Moneymaker’s threat. That something more is an aerial attack and she runs to the ropes to begin it. She leaps onto the third rope, hoping to springboard back with a lionsault. But that’s made impossible by the rope breaking beneath her heels! Thrown totally off balance, she body is slung backwards. Unable to contort it to a safe angle, she comes down directly onto the top of her head. Her neck snaps in a most brutal fashion and the jump back aghast at the horror of her landing. COLE Oh my. Oh my! COACH That was the curse! It struck! COLE Be quiet with that! Krista could be seriously injured. I’m not even sure if she’s conscious at this point, we need medics out here and fast. Krista’s horrible state does not go unnoticed by Moneymaker as he shakes himself awake. Watching the miserable replay of Krista’s disastrous fall brings a shocked but satisfied look onto Moneymaker’s face. He stands up with a wide, overly pleased smile on his face. His happiness further stokes the audience’s anger and they hit him with furnace worthy blast of heat. He shrugs off their rage, and marches over to Krista where he brings her lifeless body upright. “BOOOOOOOOO!” the fans hiss as Krista’s body sags weakly, the only thing holding it up, Moneymaker’s front facelock. COLE Come on, Krista! Come on! “K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!” the fans chant, but their song is futile; Moneymaker lifts Krista into as if setting up a vertical suplex. But rather than perform the basic hold, he tries something far deadlier sitting out and spiking her head into the canvas with a sitout pile driver. COLE The ultra rare Spear Of Longinus! Named after the spear that slew Jesus Christ, only a devil like Moneymaker would use such a move. While the fans look on with their hopes and their prayers of a sudden infusion of life to Krista, the chuckling billion dollar heir makes his latest pinfall… ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING DING COACH WHOO-HOOO! The fans are beside themselves with fury and anger and immediately begin showering the ring with debris. Even a under a torrential downpour of garbage, Moneymaker can’t help but roll over onto his back and laugh the loudest laugh of his life! Over the sound of the crowd hissing and Moneymaker’s exuberant giggles comes “We are the champios!” by queen. [i]I've paid my dues - Time after time - I've done my sentence But committed no crime - And bad mistakes I've made a few I've had my share of sand kicked in my face - But I've come through[/i] COACH A perfect song for a perfect champion! BUFFER Your winner and NEW OAOAST World Champion….THEODORE MONEYMAKER. BOOM BOOM BOOM! Fireworks explode around the ring [i]We are the champions - my friends And we'll keep on fighting - till the end - We are the champions - We are the champions No time for losers 'Cause we are the champions - of the world [/i] Joining with the seemingly never ending flow of trash comes gold and green confetti of celebration. Moneymaker happily welcomes it all as he rises to his feet. Arms go up into the air, doing little to ease the furious crowd. COACH Just liked the Cubs are cursed so is Krista Isadora Duncan. Tell me when the ropes have ever broken here. Tell me when they’ve broken in the middle of a high risk springboard move. Tell me whenever they’ve caused someone to fall directly onto her head and knock herself out. That’s not a coincidence, that’s a [b]CURSE[/b]! COLE Sadly, your thoughts are hard to debate. Its just too hard to believe. COACH How? Its right in front of your eyes! The anger of Philly grows rapidly when Moneymaker is handed his newly won championship. He needn’t celebrate on his own however as The Enterprise as well as VICE, Abdullah Abir Nerdly, and Los Conquesitadors slide into the ring to join him in merriment. CPA and CMJ lift the billion dollar champion onto their shoulders, and his smile spreads even farther across his face. Abdullah leads the others in song, and they happily sing along. [i] I've taken my bows And my curtain calls - You brought me fame and fortuen and everything that goes with it - I thank you all –[/i] [i] But it's been no bed of roses No pleasure cruise - I consider it a challenge before the whole human race - And I ain't gonna lose –[/i] COACH What a night! I’ll remember this for the rest of my life. A man bred for success achieves success, on this day Mister Moneymaker is a god! COLE The most evil man in the OAOAST, now our world champion. [i] We are the champions - my friends And we'll keep on fighting - till the end - We are the champions - We are the champions No time for losers 'Cause we are the champions - of the world [/i]

Not quite as good as the previous shows this month, but that's to be expected ahead of a PPV so I ain't worried bout nothin Let it be known that I have already finished the world title mainevent. Your president continues to set examples for his loyal public!

The Wall by Kansas plays, and The Deadly Alliance makes their way to the ring, along with their new bodyguard. COLE And it's time for our eight-man tag team main event, a preview of War Games! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following is an eight-man tag team match, scheduled for one fall! Making their way to the ring, accompanied by ARTURAS, at a total combined weight of 938 pounds...Introducing REJECT, THUNDERKID, MR. DICK, and the OAOAST Heartland champion, SANDMAN9000...collectively known as the DEADLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAA AAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCE!!!!! COLE Well, we've found out a little more about this big man who is seconding the Deadly Alliance, he goes Arturas, and he has wrestled on OAOAST TV before! Back in 2006, under his birth name, Steponas Juozapas, he competed in the Tag Team World Cup tournament along with a partner, and that team competed at AngleSlam in the semi-finals, losing to Team Heyross! The meaning of his name, Arturas, is disputed, but the popular opinion is that it means "bear-man." COACH Heh...we'll, I'll buy that. Look at the size of this guy! The DA enters the ring, and waits on their opponents. Magnum Opus hits, and the crowd goes nuts as Alfdogg makes his way to the ring, followed by Denzel Spencer and Brock Ausstin. COLE And we're about to find out the fourth man here! Alf brings a mic with him, as the music dies down. ALF And now...allow me to introduce the fourth member of Alfdogg's Asylum! A long pause goes through the arena, until Gasolina by Daddy Yankee and Lil' Jon hits, and the crowd erupts. COLE WAIT A MINUTE! COACH Oh, no. COLE You gotta be kidding me! Colombian Heat storms through the curtains, pointing out to the crowd, which grows even more deafening. COLE Colombian Heat, what a shocker, the fourth man chosen to Alfdogg's Asylum! And you remember what the Deadly Alliance did to him last year! COACH Yeah, under Alf's' leadership! How are these two going to be able to trust each other? Heat charges the ring, followed by his teammates, and an eight-man brawl erupts in the ring! *DING DING DING* COLE HERE WE GO! Heat slugs away on Sandman, while Brock does battle with Mr. Dick and TK goes at it with Denzel. Meanwhile, Reject is playing the cat-and-mouse game with Alf, who looks down on him from in the ring. TK and Sandman are sent to the outside, and then Brock whips MD into the ropes, and Heat and Denzel catch him with a double dropkick! COLE How about that teamwork? MD rolls out, as the crowd cheers on Alf's team. COLE Not looking too good so far for the Deadly Alliance! COACH It's still early, don't worry about it! The DA cools down on the outside, then TK rolls in to oppose Alf. COLE And now it's two men in the ring, TK and Alf! TK and Alf circle the ring, then TK stops and asks for a test of strength. COACH Alf doesn't want to do this! Alf look at TK for a second, then moves in slowly. However, as he does, Reject steps in behind him and nails him from behind! COLE And look at the cheap shot by Reject! TK capitalizes, hammering on the back of Alf, then shooting him into the ropes. Alf ducks a clothesline, and hits one of his own! COLE But Alf with a quick recovery! TK gets to his feet, and takes a swing, which Alf ducks, then lifts him up for an atomic drop, and drops him crotch-first across the ropes! As TK and the crowd groans, Alf bounces him up and down on the ropes, then catches him with an armdrag, and tags in Brock. COLE And now quick tags on Alf's side! Brock takes over on the arm, hammerlocking it on the mat, and dropping some knees on it, then tags in Denzel, who stomps away at the arm, then delivers a kneedrop to it! Denzel then tags in Heat, and picks up TK, holding him wide open for a top rope chop to the shoulder! COLE All four guys have been in now for Alf's team, and TK has yet to make a tag here! Heat wrings the arm, then bars it. TK backs him into the corner, and the referee separates them, before TK delivers a big forearm! He follows with another, then attempts a whip out of the corner. Heat reverses, then charges, but TK moves out of the way. He goes for a back suplex, but Heat flips behind the back, and runs into the ropes. TK drops down, then tries a hiptoss, but Heat blocks, then delivers a shot to the gut, and puts his left leg over the neck of TK, and uses him to flip backwards, then takes him down with a hiptoss! COLE Nice counter move by Heat! Heat runs into the ropes again, and hops over TK, but this time gets caught with a clothesline, and TK tags in Reject. COLE And now Reject in the ring for the first time! Reject attempts a guillotine legdrop from the apron, but Heat rolls out of the way! COACH Uh-oh, now Reject could be in trouble! Heat takes Reject back down with a drop toehold, then lets him get to his feet, and executes a dropkick! He then drags him into the corner, and tags in Brock. Brock picks him up, and takes him over with a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COLE Big suplex from Brock Ausstin! Brock backs Reject into a corner, but gets thumbed in the eyes. COACH Best way to slow a big man down, right there! Reject spins Brock around in the corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! However, they have no effect on Brock, and Reject backs off, but goes to the eyes again. Brock reverses an Irish whip, however, and catches him with a PRESS SLAM~! COLE Big-time power from Brock Ausstin! Brock then makes the tag to Alf! COLE And here's the matchup we've been waiting for! Alf charges Reject, and the two engage in a slugfest, as the crowd is going nuts. Alf wins the exchange of blows, and Reject bails out. Alf follows, and grabs him by the head, sending him into the ringpost! COACH Oh no! COLE Reject's head bouncing right off that steel ringpost! Alf follows by backing up Reject against the rail, and delivering a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Alf rolls Reject back inside, and he quickly tags in Sandman. Alf and Sandman stare down briefly, but Heat calls for the tag, and Alf gives it to him! COLE And here comes in Heat to take on Sandman, who was largely responsible for Heat's long absence! Heat and Sandman circle the ring, and tie up. Heat grabs a headlock, and Sandman backs him into the ropes, then shoves him across. Heat takes Sandman down with a shoulderblock, then runs to the ropes again. Heat hops over Sandman, who gets up and leapfrogs Heat, then does a blind leapfrog, but Heat stops once he goes underneath, and catches Sandman with a PELE KICK~! COLE Heat with the Pele Kick, and he got Sandman good! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Heat whips Sandman into a corner, and charges...but Sandman gets his foot up! COACH But there's Sandman with a kick of his own! Sandman falls backwards into his corner, still dazed from the kick, and Mr. Dick tags himself in. COLE And now Mr. Dick in there for the first time! MD stomps away at Heat, then hits him with a DISCUS PUNCH~! as he reaches his feet! He backs into the ropes, and drops a big elbow, then covers... 1... 2... Kickout! MD picks up Heat, and executes an inverted atomic drop, followed by a Clothesline from Hell! COLE Cock Shock from Mr. Dick! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! MD whips Heat into the ropes, then drops down, but is late coming back to his feet, and collides mid-ring with Heat! COLE And a collision in the middle of the ring! COACH Both guys would be wise to tag here, especially Heat! Heat crawls towards his corner, and Mr. Dick attempts to stop him, but can't, as he tags in Brock! COLE And Heat makes the tag! COACH Uh-oh! Brock hammers away at the midsection of Mr. Dick, then whips him into the ropes, and executes a BIG backdrop! COLE Mr. Dick elevated high in the air! Brock delivers a clothesline to Reject, then one to TK! He backs TK into a corner, delivering right hands, until Reject comes to and hammers him from behind! COLE Referee losing control here, we've got two illegal DA members in the ring! TK and Reject whip Brock across, but he bounces out of the corner and floors them both with a double clothesline! COLE But it doesn't matter to Brock, big double clothesline! Denzel then comes flying off the top rope, flooring both Reject & TK with a flying bodypress! COLE And Denzel flying into both men! Brock then makes his way back to Mr. Dick, scooping him up...and hitting the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111 COLE And the F-Stunner-5, that'll do it! However, the referee is distracted trying to put everyone else out, which allows Arturas to pull Brock out under the ropes by the foot! COACH And look at the big man! Arturas delivers a BIG headbutt to Brock, knocking him right off his feet! COACH WOW! Heat picks up Mr. Dick, as Arturas tosses Brock into the steps...and drills him with the COLOMBIAN NECKTIE~!!!!!11111 COLE And meanwhile, Heat with the Colombian Necktie in the ring! 1... 2... 3!!! COLE And it's over! *DING DING DING* BUFFER The winners of the match...the team, of BRRRRROCK AUSSS... COACH Whoa, don't speak too soon, Cole! Arturas has stepped over the top into the ring, and charges at Heat with a headbutt which sends him flying across the ring! Alf retreats to the outside, as Denzel makes his way back into the ring, and is met with a big hand around his throat. Alf comes back in with a kendo stick, winds up, and drills the big man right between the eyes! COLE Kendo stick right to the head from Alf! COACH But look! Arturas staggers back into the ropes, shaking his head a couple times, then slowly lifting his head back up and staring at Alf. COACH Nothing! Alf stares back in disbelief, then looks at the kendo stick in his hand, then stares on once again, before Reject nails him from behind. Arturas pulls Alf to his feet by his ears, then hooks him in a front facelock. COLE By the EARS he picked Alf up! Arturas lifts Alf up for a suplex...then releases him, catching him over his shoulder, and drilling him with a HUGE spinebuster! COACH Look at the big man dominate! COLE What a move that was by the big bodyguard of the Deadly Alliance, Arturas! Look at the carnage in the ring! Is this a preview of what's to come in the War Games match? It's three days away! See you then, folks! The DA celebrates amidst Alf and his fallen teammates, as we... FADE TO BLACK

fuck an intro ten bell salute for farrah and mj DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING Its a cold open to the last HeldDOWN before GAB, but it begins with a HOT stud, no homo *WHIIIR!* *WHIIIR!* "Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case of lovin' you No pill's gonna cure my ill I've got a bad case of lovin' you" BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, from Chicago, Illinois... weighing two hundred, ten pounds. The host of Chicago radio's weekly "Love Line" and one half of THE LOVE DOCTORS... DOCTOR SSSTTEEEEEEVVVEEEEEENN... PPIIIIIIIIIIGGLLLLEEEEEYYYYYY!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" The ladies manage to hide their disappointment as Pigley doesn't treat them to his strip-tease act on the way to the ring, keeping his broadcast standards high as he slides into the ring. COLE Dr. Pigley, branching out with a successful radio career but looking for a big boost to his wrestling career here tonight in singles action. "You try to play cool Like you just don't care But soon I'll be playin' in your underwear Givin' me all that I desire 'Cos down with me I'm taking you higher" With the sound of another siren, "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (Warren Miller version)" by Weezer hits and out walks James Blonde, flanked by who I'm sure he considers to be the greatest man that ever lived, Landon Maddix, backing him up. BUFFER And his opponent. Being accompanied to the ring by the leader of Cucaracha Internacional, LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX! He hails from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada... weighing two hundred, eight pounds... "THE TRENDSETTER"... JJJJAAAAAAAAAMMMMMEEEEESSSS... BBLLLLLLOOOOOONNDDEEEEEEEEE!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Blonde stops halfway up the ring steps and looks out into the crowd, flicking his hair back in dramatic timing with the high-pitched "OH BABY". Which is very masculine. Blonde enters the ring with a Landon-esque spin and points out at his mentor with pride overflowing from him before posing for the hard camera. COLE From what I hear, James has been in an excellent mood all week, ever since Todd Cortez lost the OAOAST United States Championship. And tonight, James looking to put himself right in the US Title hunt to further try and assert himself as Landon's 'golden boy' in Cucaracha Internacional. Landon sets up at Sofa Central, as in the ring Blonde removes his trendsetting jacket, revealing his retro long, flower pattern wrestling tights for the night. COLE Has Blonde been routing around in Jesse "The Body" Ventura's wardrobe? Good lord! *DINGDINGDING!* As the bell sounds Blonde circles around with a big smile on his face. He offers Pigley a handshake, only to pull away at the last second wagging his finger. COLE And Landon Maddix joining us here at ringside, very interested I'm sure in how your man fares tonight. MADDIX Well I'm not too concerned over James, I know he's got this one in the bag tonight. I think we're going to see some tossed salad and some scrambled eggs before this one is over tonight. That's a Frasier reference by the way. COLE Because he's got a radio show, got it. MADDIX What I'm concerned with is, why was this match made in the first place? Another singles match? Week after week, I've got guys challenging for titles, defending titles, in ladder matches around titles. The only title I'm interested in is the title of the most dominant unit in the OAOAST and I'm begging our esteemed leader Josie Baker to give us an eight man tag match like I've been asking for, to prove that. Blonde and Pigley lock up and Blonde takes control with a side headlock. After looking for a way out, Pigley shoots Blonde off, but gets knocked down with a shoulder tackle. The Trendsetter preens before hitting the ropes again and hurdling over Pigley. To his feet, Pigley leapfrogs Blonde on the rebound. Dropdown. And another leapfrog. Another dropdown. And another leapfrog. Blonde slams on the brakes out of sheer frustration and asks Pigley what he's doing, earning him a headscissors takedown from the Doctor! COLE Pigley giving Blonde the run-around right there. Blonde picks himself up in a corner and Pigley runs in, looking for a monkey flip... but Blonde CARTWHEELS out of it! BLONDE WOOOOOOOOOOO! Please with himself, Blonde turns around and gets caught with an armdrag! COLE Haha, and again! MADDIX Do you always laugh when my guys are on the defensive? COLE Not always. Caught in an armbar Blonde climbs back to his feet and breaks free by kneeing Pigley in the midsection. Blonde delivers a couple of right hands, then sends Pigley to the ropes. An early duck of the head puts Blonde in a bad position, Pigley putting on the brakes and pulling him into a standing headscissors, but JB suddenly stands up. Holding Pigley on his shoulders Blonde takes a moment to wag his finger. Which allows Pigley to push off the small of Blonde's back and come around with another headscissors takeover!! COLE Wow, what a reversal that was from Pigley! The Doctor goes for a pin on Blonde... 1... 2... Kickout. Blonde crawls away on his knees, trying to get a timeout. Pigley is eager to stay on the attack and gets lured in, Blonde suddenly reaching out and dragging Pigley face-first into the middle turnbuckle! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX That'll give you a face for radio. Stomping Pigley down in the corner, JB realises he has things going his way finally so he has chance to give a thumbs up to Landon. MADDIX 'Atta boy James. See, that's what I'm talking about. Unity. Loyalty. Blonde executes a snap suplex and covers... 1... 2... No! Driving the point of his elbow into Pigley's shoulder a couple of times, Blonde pulls up the arm and locks it up beside Pigley's head. COLE While you're here Landon, can I ask you about this situation between Todd Cortez and the newcomer Tommy G? MADDIX That's Todd's business, I don't want to interfere in his personal business like that. COLE Oh, of course. Pigley starts to fight back to his feet and out of the armbar, using his free arm to punch Blonde in the gut. Pigley goes to hit the ropes, but Blonde reaches out and grabs the waistband of Pigley's tights, pulling him backwards as he hits the ropes instead, delivering a clothesline. Cover by Blonde... 1... 2... No! Whipping Pigley to the corner, Blonde follows up with a clothesline. He points out to Landon and he hooks Pigley up for the bulldog, which costs him as Pigley counters by shoving Blonde sternum first into the turnbuckles! As Blonde staggers out, Pigley springs to the middle rope and twists back over Blonde's head with a flying sunset flip... 1... 2... NO! COLE Great move there by Pigley, the flying Doctor we might have to start calling him! Blonde quickly cuts Pigley off with a knee and calling for the finish, he locks on the cobra clutch. Realising he's in trouble Pigley backpedals and forces Blonde into the corner and for a break of the hold. Once Blonde lets go, Pigley then catches him in the jaw with an elbow. MADDIX How about the cheating Doctor? What kind of a clean break is that? With Blonde dazed, Pigley hooks him up and goes to pull the plug with the FLATLINER... but Blonde hangs onto the ropes and Pigley snaps into the canvas! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" MADDIX Ah-ha! Very resourceful. COLE Blonde using his surroundings to his advantage and now, maybe again as he heads up top. Climbing the turnbuckles, the Canadian gives the crowd a good look before he comes off the top, catching Pigley in the side of the head with a flying knee!! COLE The Brand Labelling, slapped onto Dr. Pigley! Blonde waits for Pigley to get back up again, putting the cobra clutch on and this time scoring with the legsweep, ILLEGALLY BLONDE! Not bothering to hook the leg, Blonde forces Pigley down while toying with his hair... COLE And that's going to do it. 1... 2... 3!!! *DINGDINGDING!* MADDIX Just like I told you. And Josie, you know what we want, quit holding out on Internacional demands. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... JJAAAMMMMEEEEESSS... BLLLLOOOOOOOONNDDEEEEEE!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Leaving ringside, Landon enters the ring to congratulate his man, which means more to Blonde than the win itself or the winner's share of the purse. With a beaming smile James' hand is raised by Landon. Backstage, Bohemoth is looking cool and crisp as ever as he walks through the hallways. Raising his orange tinted sunglasses in a greeting to one member of staff, Bo ducks right and enters his locker room... and freezes. Because there, in front of him, lies a pile of shredded fabric. Arms and pockets of what were clearly suits, torn and ripped to pieces in the middle of his locker room. Bohemoth kneels down and picks up a few of the pieces, examining them as if he doesn't believe what he's seeing, before angrily throwing them aside and marching right back out of the room in a rage. COLE Oh wow. Somebody has gotten into Bohemoth's clothing, which is tantamount to a death warrant! And no prizes for guessing who's likely to be behind it. COACH Maybe it was moths? I hear they're pretty bad in Conneticut. COLE I think we both know who's responsible and more importantly, I think Bohemoth knows. Folks we'll be back with more including words from The Franchise Zack Malibu! COMMERCIAL

INTERVIEWER I’m here with Tommy G., something of a newcomer here in OAOAST. Tommy G., after all of the threats, can your “attacks” on Todd Cortez be considered a letdown? TOMMY G. Don’t let your tongue be your worst enemy. Tommy G. brags the mic out of the interviewers hand. TOMMY G. Cortez, I hope your neck hurts. I could have beaten you down, kicked the life out of you. But I prefer surgical strikes. I prefer career-ending tactics. You lost the belt, and now you’re going to lose your career. And you know it. Otherwise, the attacks wouldn’t have gone unanswered. Because you’re a bitch! Todd Cortez seemingly flies into camera range, taking Tommy G. down. The two men jockey for position, throwing punches all the while. Cortez get control from behind and throws two crossface punches. Tommy G. twists and gets Cortez over in a fireman’s carry takedown. Just as he goes to soccer kick Cortez in the head, the backstage personnel hit the scene. Dave Barbie, Jim Powers, Pete Doherty and others grab Tommy G. and pull him away. A few of them check on Cortez, who jumps to his feet, runs, and jumps over those holding back Tommy G. and gets a hit in. Two of the jobbers of yore release Tommy G. and grab Cortez. Tommy G. tries to kick Cortez, but the two belligerents are separated. TODD CORTEZ IT AIN’T OVER! IT AIN’T OVER! TOMMY G. YOU’RE RIGHT, IT AIN’T! AND WHEN I’M DONE, YOU WON’T BE OVER! COLE Whoa! Todd Cortez retaliating against Tommy G. in a most violent manner! COACH Tommy G. definitely not making any friends here in OAOAST. COLE Unless he makes allies of those who would want Cortez’s career ended… We cut backstage to see world champion Krista Isadora Duncan walking down a corridor near the arena parking lot. She passes by MARV, who offers her a friendly wave. MARV Heading back to the hotel? KRISTA Yeah, I don’t feel so good for some reason. Krista waves good bye to MARV and continues her walk to the parking garage. She strides through the doorway to a lot that’s empty besides herself. Strolling across the pavement she reaches her Sebring rental car. After opening it with the power locks, she sets her bag on the passenger seat, and turns on the vehicle. The normal roar of the enigine subsides quickly, but in its place comes heavy breathing. UNO Hello. Krista screams in horror as Uno reaches from the back seat and grabs onto her golden hair and yanks her head backwards. Out the corner of her eye, she can see Dos locking the entrance way to the garage. UNO The circle is cast, and we are now between the worlds, beyond the bounds of time, where night and day… Uno’s spell casting is momentarily silenced when Krista reaches backwards and rams her fists into his face. UNO AHHHHHHHH! Outraged Uno lunges forward with a vile scream, but Krista elbows him back causing him to emit a pained howl. However his agony only last a shor while before he springs forward to take hold of Krista’s neck and shove her into the steering wheel. HONK! HONK! HONK! Krista twists away from the choke hold, but this only allows Uno to take hold of her hair once again. She shouts with misery and horror as Uno tugs as though he was trying to yank her head clear off her body. Her only line of defense is to shift the car into reverse and jam on the accelator. The car rushes backwards with a loud thump is head. Krista’s eyes widen with fright as they see Dos tumbling down onto the hood. Springing to life with demonic power and he blasts his feet through the windshield showering Krista in specks off glass. Left with only one othe option Krista puts the car into drive and slams her foot again on the accelerator. DOS GAHHHHHHH! Dos tumbles off the now speeding car, watching it set itself on a collision course with an SUV. In seconds the car rams into the SUV, setting off the parked car’s security alarm and causing a thunderous sound of metal on metal. Propelled forward, Uno slams head first into the dash. He only has a moment of pain though before he leaps his body forward and dives onto a shrieking Krista. KRISTA GET OFF! GET OFF! GET OFF! Krista uses all her strength to shove Uno away, bouncing his head off the passenger side window. Dazed, he has no chance of preventing Krista from slamming him with a kick that throws him out the passenger door! While Uno is still recovering she quickly closes the door , leaving him to angrily bang on it. Unfortunately for Krista she’s attacked on another front as Dos reaches through the busted windshield and drags Krista through it as she screams with all the power in her vocal chords. Together with Uno, Dos roughly pulls her onto the hood of her car. Uno snatches out several strands of her hair and holds them up as though they were gold medals. Krista’s entire face goes from white with fear to red with rage when she spots Theodore Moneymaker, dressed like he was attending a funeral, approaching. DOS (handing Moneymaker the hair) Here you are, sir. MONEYMAKER Thank you, Dos. KRISTA This is your doing? MONEYMAKER This is fate’s doing. Its truly lamentable our war now has to be propped by such…dark undertones. A dark cloud now covers the expanse of our tumultuous relationship. KRISTA What’s all this for? To let me know you can attack me from anywhere? MONEYMAKER Far from it. This is something I may regret to my dying day. Krista raises her eyebrows in confusion. UNO Sir, there isn’t time to waste, you must do it now! KRISTA Do what? MONEYMAKER (staring at her hair and chanting) Blood turn black and flesh turn blue, I will curse you if you force me to, by the left hand and the unclean food, I´ll curse your eyes, I´ll curse your lies,I´ll call down a plague of flies, blood go black and flesh go blue, evil from me and back to you, my soul clean and yours on fire. KRISTA What was that? MONEYMAKER That my dear, was a curse on your very soul. Live well, if you can. FADE OUT COMMERCIAL

BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall... and it is for the OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP!! "Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name" The lights flash purple and often as "When I Grow Up" by The Pussycat Dolls hits, bringing out the ever-popular challenger. A little tense, Jade takes a sharp intake of breath and jumps about on the stage trying to get her mind in the right place before she walks to the ring tagging outstretched hands. BUFFER Introducing first, the challenger. Now residing in Los Angeles, California. The second generation starlet with a heart of gold and former OAOAST Women's Champion... ladies and gentlemen, "LITTLE MISS CALIFORNIA"... JJJJAAAAAAADDEEEEEE... RRRRROOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZ - DDUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAANN!!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Former Women's Champion, who until tonight has never gotten a one on one rematch with the girl who beat her at AngleMania VII, Morgan Nerdly. But that changes here tonight. COACH The whole reason Jade never got a rematch is because she was too scared to ask for one. And can you blame her? She befriended Morgan and then cast her off, threw her to the curb. She already got zapped once, I'd consider that getting off lightly. Sliding demurely into the ring, Jade climbs onto the middle turnbuckle to wave to the crowd. COLE You have to wonder where Jade's mind is tonight, a lot going on with her friends and especially he family lately. GO! To un-explain the unforgivable, Drain all the blood and give the kids a show. By streetlight this dark night, A séance down below. There are things that I have done, You never should ever know! And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. Charges of electricity scream down on an entrance stage that’s carpeted by dark blue lights. On the numerous video screens throughout the venue images of flashes of electrical bolts find their way onto screen. After the final violent bolt of electricity touches down on stage the entrances door rip apart to showcase Morgan Nerdly. Stalking slowly to the ring, Morgan's eyes scowl at the girl she once called friend, gripping onto her Women's Title belt as if it were some kind of comfort blanket. BUFFER And, her opponent. From Edmonton, Alberta, Canada... she is the current reigning and defending OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION!! Prepare for SHOCK and awe from MMMOOOOOOORRRRRGGAAAAAAANN... NNEEEERRRRRDDLLLLLYYYYYYYY!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE The unbalanced and unstable 19 year old Women's Champion, dangerous and volatile. We ask where Jade's head is at, but who knows where Morgan's is? Especially with the manipulation Lorelei DeCenzo's been carrying out on her lately. And in three nights at The Great Angle Bash, scheduled to be Morgan going one on one with Sophie, which will be for the Women's Title assuming Morgan can get past Jade tonight. COACH And no surprise, Josie trying to throw a spanner in the works before Sunday with this match. I'll betcha Jade don't want no part of this, Josie just needed a big ol' wrench to throw out there. Morgan hands over her Women's Title and starts pacing back and forth in her corner. Jade is given a look at the belt but seems more worried with what Morgan's doing. *DINGDINGDING* The bell sounds and Morgan continues pacing, seemingly muttering away to herself. COLE Morgan... maybe psyching herself up? COACH Or maybe she's psychoing herself up. COLE Very good, thank you Coach. Confused and a little concerned, Jade slowly approaches Morgan. Suddenly, letting out a shriek, the Women's Champion rushes forward and grabs hold of Jade's hair, violently shaking her head back and forth. After the initial shock Jade strikes Morgan in the chest to break her hold, then pops her in the jaw with a forearm shot! And another! COLE Boy, I think Jade knew she was in a fight before the bell rang but she's certainly not shying away from it! Morgan is the one who's shocked now and as she nurses her jaw, Jade grabs her by the arm and whips her to the ropes. Leaving her feet, a leaping clothesline from Jade hooks Morgan down! Fired up all of a sudden, Jade waves Morgan back to her feet and knocks her down with a second clothesline. Morgan crawls into a corner and Jade follows right behind, but suddenly has a pang of conscience as Morgan wraps herself protectively around the bottom turnbuckle. COLE Morgan suddenly wants no part of this one! Hesitating over whether to attack, Jade can't bring herself to and she lets Morgan up. COLE A little compassion on the part of the challenger. COACH Oh sure, where was that compassion when Morgan tried to befriend her? Suprised at being allowed up, Morgan is slow to get to her feet. Jade eventually moves back towards Morgan, which is when the Women's Champion reaches out and pulls Jade into the turnbuckles! After a moment's pause looking down at her work, Morgan covers Jade... 1... 2... No! Unlike her opponent, Morgan doesn't allow Jade to get back up, kicking her into the corner and then stomping away. Morgan backs into the middle of the ring and runs at Jade, delivering a low dropkick against the bottom turnbuckle. COACH This is what Lorelei's talking about. This is Morgan Nerdly. She's ruthless and he's dangerous, that's what's making her the Women's Champion. COLE Well that's fine in the heat of competition. But when she's attacking innocent members of staff, that's a different story. Morgan throws Jade face-first to the mat, hitting the ropes and delivering another low dropkick, this time to Jade's face as she gets to all fours! Morgan covers again... 1... 2... Kickout! Waiting for Jade to get back up, Morgan crouches behind her, harsh eyes fixed on her challenger. The crowd will Jade back to her feet, neglecting to tell her that Morgan is waiting for her to turn around. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" A knifedge chop from Morgan connects. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" But Jade lets out a shout and lashes right back out at an unsuspecting Morgan! Chest stinging, a vengeful spite spills out of Morgan... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and she lashes out at Jade again. Morgan hasn't even finished growling before Jade retaliates... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...chopping Morgan again! And then catching her with a quick forearm smash. Holding Morgan behind the head, Jade delivers a firmer forearm shot and the Women's Champion is staggered. Another forearm, almost causing Morgan's legs to collapse underneath her. COLE Those fighting Duncan genes starting to kick in! Despite being groggy, Morgan growls under her breath again. And in her rage, she actually encourages her opponent to hit her again! Ever obedient, Jade paws her with an open left hand. Then paws her with an open right. With a guttural shout, Jade then pulls a 360... but Morgan sees the spinning clothesline coming and ducks underneath, carrying herself into the ropes. Recovering her feet, Jade tries another clothesline, but Morgan ducks again. She comes back off the far ropes and leaves her feet looking for a crossbody, but Jade catches her opponent's slender frame and turns it into a POWERSLAM!! 1... 2... NO! COLE Nearfall for the former Women's Champion! Jade backs into a corner and goes up to the middle rope, set to take a rare risk. Back up, Morgan's eyes narrow and she charges looking to knock Jade off the turnbuckles. Jade sticks out a zebra stripe foot out though, causing Morgan to run right into it. Pushing up on the top rope, Jade sits herself on the Champion's shoulders and pushes off with a Victory Roll... 1... 2... NO! The would-be cheerleader leads the cheers of the Conneticut crowd and she hits the ropes. Morgan surprises Jade by pulling a 180 and catching her in the jaw with a back elbow! Reaching back, Morgan then snapmares Jade over with more than a hint of a hairpull, backing up and kicking Jade HARD between the shoulder blades! COLE Ooh! COACH IT'S GOOD! Morgan forces Jade down and pins her... 1... 2... No! Morgan sits Jade up and kicks her in the back again. Dropping to a knee, she then applies a rear chinlock, knee placed in the back. As Jade refuses to submit, eyes turn away from the ring, and boos begin to rumble as down the aisle walks an emotionless LEON RODEZ! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COACH Uh-oh. COLE Leon Rodez? I don't know what reason he's got for being out here, but I know that I don't like the looks of it. What twisted motive has Leon got on his mind? Our Women's Title match will continue when we come back! *COMMERCIAL BREAK* When we come back, we find new fight in Jade as she tries to rally back on the Women's Champion. Stood in front of the announce table, Leon watches on, no change in his emotion whatsoever. Striking her repeatedly, Jade comes off the ropes and looks to take Morgan down with a clothesline. Morgan ducks underneath the line and wraps her hand around Jade's throat, sweeping her legs with a modified STO takedown! Morgan turns to Leon, distraced by his appearance. But when Leon barely acknowledges the fact he's being looked at, Morgan turns away and she hooks a leg... 1... 2... NO! Morgan sits up and rages at the referee, furious she didn't get the three count. Leon doesn't flinch, but the referee sure does. COLE What a competitive match we're seeing, for the OAOAST Women's Championship. Jade has really taken the fight to her unpredictable opponent so far. But a dark cloud has been hanging over us since just before the break, thanks to the presence of Leon Rodez, who's been watching this match very closely. COACH Jaded much? A guy comes out to watch his niece fight for the Women's Title and here you are goin' all PI on us, talking about alterior motives and stuff? COLE Does that look like a man who's routing his niece on? Leon continues to watch blankly, as Morgan now lashes out at Jade in the corner. After repeated punches Morgan is forced to back away by the referee. She whips Jade across the ring and into the opposite corner, following after her with a running shoulder to the midsection. "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" Letting the crowd get to her, Morgan starts screaming at them to "shut up". Not in an angry way, more in desperation. COACH These people are making a mistake. They're getting Morgan angry... and you won't like her when she's angry! COLE This isn't a laughing matter Coach. Quite frankly, this young girl has some personal issues that she needs attention for and that's not something to hold against her or use as a stick to beat her with. The problem is, she doesn't seem to want that help. Looking flustered, Morgan throws Jade to the ropes and ducks her head. But she does so way too early, allowing Jade to stop and kick her in the shoulder. Morgan lashes out with a wild clothesline, but Jade ducks and throws a Front Dropkick to knock the runt of the Nerdly litter down. Scrambling to her feet, Morgan is hit with a second Front Dropkick. Back up again and Jade goes for a third... but Morgan steps back and lets Jade fall on the back of her head, then traps her in a Boston Crab! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE A NICE counter move from Morgan! Jade shouts in pain as the pressure is put on back. Even this, not enough to draw any reaction from Leon. Luckily for Jade, she's near to the ropes and manages to reach out for the bottom one before any lengthy damage can be done. COLE Morgan has focused a lot of offence on that back and Jade might be lucky to have escaped there. Picking Jade back up, a scowl forms on Morgan's face. Her spite is directed at the crowd, as she tells them to say goodbye to Jade before picking her up on her shoulders. COLE Uh-oh, Morgan looking to adminster Shock & Awe! Morgan gets Jade up on her shoulders and tries to throw her... ...but Jade escapes down the back and rolls Morgan up... 1... 2... NO! COLE Oh! Almost had her! COACH What a fluke that would have been. Cutting into Jade's chest with a kick, Morgan is frustrated. She grabs hold of Jade's hair and pulls her in, trying for another fireman's carry. Jade fights Morgan off this time and shoves her towards the ropes. Morgan hangs on and stops herself. But she suddenly gets a rush of blood and with a scream, she charges at Jade anyway, Jade charging right back at her and hooking Morgan to the canvas with a hooking sleeper drop!! COLE SWEET DREAMS, MORGAN NERDLY! Jade drops herself on top... 1... 2... 3...NO!! COLE And AGAIN, so close to a new Women's Champion! Jade is beginning to get on a roll. COACH Morgan wasn't prepared for this. She's been preparing for Sophie all week and then she gets this curveball thrown at her. No wonder she feels like the world's against her! Jade picks Morgan up, scooping her for a slam. Morgan escapes and yanks Jade down by the hair, stacking her on her shoulders for a pin... 1... 2... Kickout! Both girls are back up and it's Jade who strikes, catching Morgan with a surprise Jawbreaker. Jade draws off the crowd again and she comes off the ropes. Morgan manages to cut Jade off with a weary boot to the gut though. Grabbing onto Jade's purple cheerleader outfit, Morgan throws Jade towards the turnbuckles looking to give herself a second to recover. Blocking a collision with the turnbuckles, Jade gives Morgan none of the time she wants, luring Morgan into a charge and sidestepping, causing the Women's Champion to clatter into the turnbuckles. As Morgan stumbles backwards, Jade then throws herself up and connects with the E!ziguri, right to the face! COLE Caught her! For the first time Leon reacts, starting to inch forward. Morgan rolls through to her feet and Jade sees her opportunity, hooking Morgan around the chin from behind and sitting out with the reverse x-factor!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE GOT IT FROM MY MOMMA, NEW CHAMPION... Jade hooks onto Morgan's legs to pin her down... ...but there's no count, because Leon Rodez has calmly climbed into the ring and stands in the corner, arms folded, staring right past the referee who's gesturing for him to leave the ring! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!? The referee's demands to leave fall on deaf ears, Leon treating him as if he weren't even there. Making no effort to actually distract him, but doing an excellent job of it. Suddenly, the crowd erupt, for the arrival of BOHEMOTH, pissed off and marching to the ring! COACH This is what this is! COLE It's a scheme, just like I thought! Leon's costing his niece the Women's Title and it's all to draw out Bohemoth! COACH Worked too, huh? Bohemoth stomps around ringside and reaches into the ring, grabbing hold of Leon's ankle and pulling him out of the ring! The crowd erupt, expecting Bohemoth to lay Leon to waste. But he doesn't. So Leon SLAPS HIM!!! "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Visibly shaking, Bohemoth's eyes widen. On the brink of an explosion, he turns back around, seething. Jade has been distracted by all this and before Bohemoth can react, she screams over the ropes at him not to do anything... before screaming again as she's yanked away, pulled up onto the shoulders and hit with SHOCK & AWE BY MORGAN!! Cover... 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* COLE I don't believe it! Morgan Nerdly has stolen this one! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match and STILL OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION... MMOOOOOORRGGAAAAAAANN... NNEEEEERRRRDDLLLLLYYYYYYYYY!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Grabbing her belt, Morgan sits on her knees confused at what's unfolding in front of her. And she wants no part of it, rolling out of the ring and heading to the back. Bohemoth looks shocked on Jade's behalf at what happened. Not shocked, Leon smiles on himself. And when Bohemoth spots this, he sees red and GRABS LEON BY THE THROAT! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COACH Here we go, here we go! Bohemoth grips Leon's throat tightly, but can't bring himself to do anymore than that, fighting the urge to do so with Jade still in the corner of his eye. Sensing weakness Leon, who is putting up no sort of defence, slaps Bohemoth's hand away. Still Bohemoth doesn't bite... ...UNTIL LEON SPITS RIGHT IN HIS FACE!!!!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" COLE Oh my God! Wiping the phlegm from his face, Bohemoth has finally had enough AND LAYS OUT LEON WITH A HUGE CLOTHESLINE!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE GOOD! Did Leon Rodez deserve that or what!? COACH He deserved it, but he was asking for it, literally! He got what he wanted! COLE Well they say be careful what you wish for and Leon may be about to add that to his list of dreary proverbs right now! Not done yet, Bohemoth drops to a knee and mounts Leon, delivering hard right hands to the head. With no signs of stopping! After at least a dozen punches, Bohemoth hauls Leon off the ringside floor and throws him face-first into the ringpost, sending Leon spilling to the floor again! Crawling towards the barricade, Leon is hardly on one knee before Bohemoth sprints towards him and delivers a FACEWASH KICK, smashing Leon's face into the barrier!! COLE This is getting ugly in a hurry! COACH Well Bohemoth better enjoy this while it lasts, because he'll be regretting it for a long time to come! Dragging Leon's lifeless body back up, Bohemoth props him against the barricade while he smashes him with more right hands. Leon is slumped all the way down to his knees, Bohemoth then grabbing Leon's head and slamming it back against the barricade! And again! Bohemoth then just hauls Leon right across the arena floor with a throw, so forceful Leon does at least two full rolls. COLE Bohemoth letting out weeks of pent up rage. Bohemoth drags Leon back up again... *THUD!* ...bouncing his head off of the announce table! *THUD!* ...and a second time! Sending bodies scurrying, Bohemoth then grabs a steel chair... *CRACK!* ...AND DROPS LEON WITH A SHOT TO THE HEAD!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Bohemoth throws the chair away, breathing heavily in his furious state. But just when he seems to be done, he grabs hold of Leon's shirt and begins to drag him up again. COLE Well I hope it was worth it, Leon. COACH I could say the same to Bohemoth. COLE ...right now, I think we better get the hell out of here! Scooping Leon up in his arms, Bohemoth glares out. And positioned on the floor, he turns to Sofa Central before swinging him around... ...out... ...and DOWN ONTO THE ANNOUNCE TABLE~! "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The table doesn't break and barely gives, leaving Leon damn near bent in half over the front of it, completely wrecked. Bohemoth stands over him and grabs onto the shirt again, ready to do even more damage. When suddenly, a hand grabs his arm. Turning around, Bo finds Jade, sobbing and pleading with him to stop. Bohemoth looks at her for a few seconds and seems to calm. But then, he looks back at Leon... and drags him off the table again, to a monster cheer from the crowd!! He sets Leon up for a Powerbomb, ignoring Jade's pleas as he takes Leon up... *KERAAAASSSHHHH!!!* ....AND DRIVES HIM RIGHT THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE AT THE SECOND TIME OF ASKING!!!!! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" Referees and officials are too late to stop Bohemoth and they flock out to make sure he goes no further, as well as to check on Leon. And among them is Jade, climbing over the table wreckage and kneeling at her uncle's side distraught. Bohemoth is backed up by the officials, with other officials waving for help. The Meterosexual Monster finally starts to calm, not listening to the referees telling him to leave, but definately when Jade starts to scream at him to "GO AWAY!". It's only when Jade yells "YOU PROMISED NOT TO DO THIS!" that realisation suddenly sinks in to Bohemoth at what he's just done and his hands raise to his head. His attempts to apologise just earn him more shouts to "GO AWAY" though and Bohemoth eventually listens, now angry at himself as he's tracked by referees while marching to the back, passing a stretcher being wheeled to ringside. "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" With Jade looking on in concern, Leon is tended to and placed on the stretcher, officials picking through the wreckage of the announce table to get to him. As Leon is transfered onto the stretcher, the crowd show their compassion for his fate by booing him. Jade grips onto Leon's hand and follows along with the stretcher as it's wheeled towards the back. And despite the pain, despite the punishment, and despite the booing crowd... somehow, some way... as the stretcher passes the camera, a pained smile can be seen on Leon's face. COMMERCIAL

We pan around the arena with the crowd going wild. COLE This past weekend on OAOAST Syndicated an 8-man tag featuring All the Queen’s Men vs. the Orange County Cobras and the Citizen Soldiers took place. Unfortunately TV time ran out before a decision could be rendered, but as promised, here now is the exciting conclusion! OAOAST Syndicated Check Local Listings GREAT ANGLE BASH JUST SIGNED!!! WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: V.I.C.E. CHALLENGE TEAM HEYROSS FOR THE GOLD THIS SUNDAY LIVE ON PAY-PER-VIEW!!! "Getting Away With Murder", the theme song of one of the most popular wrestlers of all time, draws an all too familiar reaction from the crowd, as The Franchise makes an appearance here tonight! COLE We're back, fans, and we're back in a big way, as Zack Malibu has joined us on HeldDOWN~! COACH Yippee. More talk about this has-been. COLE You really believe that, don't you? COACH C'mon, Cole. Even y ou can't be that blind to see that Zack's lost steam in recent months. It's time to take him out back and Old Yeller him! Despite what some have said about him, the fans still love the former World Champion, as he enters the ring and takes the mic to address the crowd. MALIBU I want to clear the air here tonight, once and for all. I will be the first to admit that I am not the man I used to be. That I have allowed myself to be taken advantage of, and that on occasion, I have gotten in over my head. I will admit that I'm a human being who has his flaws, but I'm getting sick and tired of having Anglesault, my friend, and his personal attacks on me. 'Sault, we've tried this in private, we've tried it over the phone and face to face in the office, but I have had it. The surprise opponents, the sporadic appearances, right down to keeping me in Japan to work the Japanese tour instead of coming home to my family and springing that on me at the last minute? This is supposed to be motivating, Anglesault? And what about The Great Angle Bash? It seems that right now you're playing this two ways, 'Sault. It seems that you're so disappointed in me that you're almost trying to make the world forget Zack Malibu. You're holding me back from something, and I don't know what and I don't know why, but I have HAD IT. You talk about how you're my only friend, the only one who would never, ever take advantage of me, but then you go and do NOTHING with me. This company, as far as I'm concerned, is just as much mine as it is yours! The name on the marquee, what those initials stand for mean NOTHING compared to the blood, sweat and tears I have put into this place. I have CARRIED this place for you, and now... Zack's tirade is cut off by the sound of "Medal", as ANGLESAULT comes out to a mixed response. Malibu clears some space for Anglesault to enter the ring, and he does not look pleased with Zack's rant. ANGLESAULT I'm not out here to play back and forth, Zack. The fact is that yes, you have carried the OAOAST to great heights, and you have done an incredible amount for this company. The fact is that you have devoted your life to this company, just as much as I have. It's also a fact, Zack, that you have no idea what you're talking about when it comes to me, because I'm not going to stand for being the scapegoat for YOUR failure. I have come to you time and time again Zack, trying to light that fire, trying to bring The Franchise back to the OAOAST! You think I'm playing games with you, Zack? I'm trying to show the world that you're still the Zack Malibu you say you are, but at this point I don't think even you believe that you are! Zack looks somber and frustrated as he retorts. MALIBU I believe in myself. I've never been one to be told that I was under-confident. ANGLESAULT You believe in yourself? MALIBU I do. ANGLESAULT Then why, Zack, why did you have to use a crutch like The In Crowd, or The Usual Suspects. Why did you have to link yourself to someone, anyone else? This is a cutthroat business Zack, and even we had our wars before you won me over with RESPECT. It's a different time and place now though, Zack. No one, not one of those people...not Bohemoth, not Leon Rodez, not even Sly Sommers God rest his soul RESPECTED you. Every single one of them tried to make themselves, make their careers by leeching off of YOU, and you LET them. MALIBU That's not true. ANGLESAULT IT IS TRUE! IT IS, ZACK! You have let numerous people put one over on you! THAT'S what a Franchise is? Let me tell you, Zack, and I'm telling you this not just as the owner of the OAOAST, but as a friend...there is a world of wrestlers out there, a locker room full of them in this very arena, and every single one of them would piss on your grave if it meant making themselves The Franchise of the OAOAST. I can name you at least fifty people off the top of my head who are willing to step up and show that drive, that killer instinct. The thing is, Zack, I don't want that to happen. I want YOU to be The Franchise, and I want that because of your achievements in this company. For everything you've done, Zack, I owe you, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let you slip. Every day of our lives, Zack, we are one step closer to our last. Every single day, we are one step closer to dying, and the only thing we can do is cement a legacy to leave behind, something that people 10, 20, 50 years after we're gone can look at. So, I ask you, Zack, what type of legacy do you want to leave? Are you going to be remembered as The Franchise, as a real life superhero who defended the OAOAST and led it through the glory days, or are you going to be the man who once sat high on the mountain top only to come crashing down when his own pride became his fatal flaw? Malibu ponders the cryptic comments, as Anglesault pauses, as if looking for answer. Seeing an opening in the verbal war, that's when another party is heard from. "Excuse me, gentlemen." All eyes are on the entrance stage, and the boos begin as CHRISTIAN WRIGHT starts walking towards the ring, he too with a mic in hand! WRIGHT Anglesault, I think I have a solution for your woes. It appears that Zack Malibu, the pride and joy of the wrestling world, is having an identity crisis. He doesn't know who he is anymore, and I agree with you, Anglesault, he's far from a Franchise lately. Which is where I am more than happy to step in. Zack Malibu has been a thorn in my side for years now... MALIBU Don't you think you should flip that around? WRIGHT ...as I was saying, Zack Malibu has been a thorn in my side for years now. From my arrival in the OAOAST, Zack Malibu was always the pinnacle. The goal was to defeat "the man". The Franchise, as everyone calls him, because he is, or was, the measuring stick. The man who never quit with the will that would not die. Over the years I took part in a Civil War, and most recently an Enterprise, devoted to the elimination of Zack Malibu, and both did not work out as intended. My prized HI-YAH Heavyweight Title, taken from me by Zack Malibu with no offering of a rematch. Even Bohemoth, that fool, who was brought here BY ME, now calls himself a friend to Zack Malibu. Zack, it's obvious that you are unhappy with yourself, and it almost appears that, in some ways, we're kindred spirits. It's also obvious that in some ways, you're opting to take that further...you aren't trying to perserve the legacy of Zack Malibu, you're trying to create the legacy of the next Christian Wright! Malibu mouths "is that so", as the crowd boos Wright's accusation. WRIGHT Now, hear me out, Zack. You see, the battles through the years have taken their toll on you. The blood, sweat and tears you brag about...you don't want to waste that effort anymore. You want to channel it in different ways. You're trying to be smart about it. An intellectual, using your mental prowess as opposed to bare knuckles to solve everything that comes your way. The old Zack Malibu wouldn't hesitate to pounce on someone he felt wronged him, whether it be someone who jumped him from behind, perhaps busted him open with a chair. Someone who broke into his house and went after his family. Even someone who DARED to interrupt his "time" on an episode of HeldDOWN~! So instead of trying to pull the old Zack Malibu out of you, Zack, I'm here to say one thing tonight, and to do something about it on Sunday. I am here to tell the world that the old Zack Malibu is DEAD AND GONE. Enjoy what you've seen in the past, people, because your Franchise will never emerge again. He's now buried under a pile of insecurity and dissatisfaction. What you see before you is a shell of what used to be. No longer a Franchise. No longer a champion. Just a man leeching off his previous reputation, unable to prove that he's still the man he once used to be. That is why I, Christian Wright, will prove once and for all that the things said about Zack Malibu ring true. At The Great Angle Bash, I am challenging you, Zack Malibu, to a match. You and I, in the ring once again, so that the New Franchise can take his rightful place, and wrest that crown out of the hands that DO NOT DESERVE IT! Wright and Malibu have a stare down, and Anglesault steps in, prying them apart before things break down. ANGLESAULT You know what...this was between Zack and I, Christian. Now you want to pick your spot? You think YOU can be the Franchise of the OAOAST? WRIGHT I don't think, I KNOW. MALIBU You know what, enough of this. Anglesault, you make that match. This Sunday, I'll be happy to take Christian Wright on, one on one! The crowd cheers, and even Wright looks excited about the prospect of another match with Zack Malibu. MALIBU Here's how it's going to go, Wright. No one ever took your talent for granted. Just know that every single time you've come at me before, I showed you, I PROVED to you that I am everything I say I am. WRIGHT My point exactly, Zack. I don't want you to say anything. If your actions can't prove it, then that'll expose you for the man in doubt that you are, and your words won't be able to protect the truth from the people anymore. Sunday's Bash will be anything but great for you, Zack. It will be a night of revelations and disappointment, because the time has come for a new Franchise, and his name is Christian Wright! Wright backs away, smirking, then reaches over and slaps the taste of out Zack's mouth! Zack lunges, but Anglesault keeps him back, not wanting hell to break loose. ANGLESAULT Save it! Save it, Zack. Worry about the match, worry about him on Sunday! Wright exits smirking, as Malibu rubs his jaw, being calmed by Anglesault. COLE Well, looks like we've rounded out the card for this Sunday! Old rivals Christian Wright and Zack Malibu do battle one more time, with Wright claiming that he's ready and willing to replace Zack as The Franchise of the OAOAST! COACH Anglesault's been trying to reason with Zack, but Wright's telling it like it is...he's old news, he can't cut it anymore, and come Sunday, he's going down! COLE We'll see what happens on Sunday, but before then, we've got more great action here tonight! More HeldDOWN~! after this!

Returning from break Brock Ausstin is seen backstage walking into a dressing room, which the camera reveals to contain Alfdogg and Denzel Spencer. ALF Welcome to the team, big man. The crowd cheers as Brock shakes hands with Alf and Denzel. BROCK Thank you very much, and congratulations to you, by the way. DENZEL Much appreciated, mon. ALF Now, me and Brock haven't always seen eye-to-eye...in fact, we probably never have. But we all have common goals here. Last year, the DA put Brock on the shelf for a few months, and he's never gotten proper revenge. What better place than War Games? *crowd cheers* ALF But it gets better...the fourth member of our team is on the way here, and he has an even bigger score to settle. Brock and Denzel both give Alf a curious look. ALF I saw him down in Miami a couple weeks ago, and he looks better than ever. All three guys huddle up, and come away with big smiles, then share a hearty laugh. COLE Alf just added some serious power to his team! COACH Yeah, but, the Deadly Alliance has some serious TALENT. Don't forget that, Mikey.

Not this website this one: http://en.akinator.com/# This dude with his hindu gobbedly gook got it right! I was thinking of Kristen Bell and this motherfucker got it! IT READ MY MUFICKIN MIND ON SOME PROFESSOR XAVIER SHIT! THEN I TOLD HIM HE WAS RIGHT AND OLD HABIB START CHESSIN AND SHIT, I'D BREAK MY FOOT OFF IN HIS ASS,REAL TALK. WE CAN'T TRUST THE MACHINES!!!!!!

Theodore Moneymaker (Patty can sign on or off here) No you damn foolls, no I say! But you can use Timothy Cash. Reiger and CMJ are cool. The Hellfire Club is also cool along with the Last Kings