Patty O'Green

We're treated to a lovely image of Tokyo as we return from break "Sweet Home Chicago" hits and out struts Jumbo as HeldDOWN returns. The Japanese fans seem amused with the loveable big guy, with numerous shots of smiling clapping fans watching his walk to the ring. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. First, from Chicago, Illinois... weighing four hundred, fourty pounds... JJJUUUUUUUUUUMMMMBBOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Jumbo makes his way around ringside and even gets a couple of young Japanese girls to DANCE along with him before he climbs into the ring. COLE Big Jumbo enjoying himself here in Tokyo, a big fan of the sushi I hear. COACH There's a surprise. Jumbo struts around the ring some more and gets the crowd going. COLE Well Jumbo having some fun, but the fun is going to stop very soon I feel. "Oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone And oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone, dead and gone..." The opening to "Dead And Gone" by T.I. fades into "Numb" by Linkin Park. The crowd stays mostly quiet except for a few, isolated screams from female fans as Leon Rodez emerges through the entrance way. Disheveled, Leon wears to the ring his usual ring-robe, only inside out, the black unpatterened lining far less attractive than the robe should be. BUFFER And his opponent. From Grand Rapids, Michigan... weighing two hundred, eighteen pounds... the former OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the world... LLLEEEEEOOOOOONN... RRRRRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZ!!! COLE Over the past few months, this man once the most easy going and cheerful wrestlers you were ever likely to meet has suffered a crisis in confidence and has seemingly lost all faith in anything. He claims that "All I did was give, give, give and all people ever did was take, take, take" and that his friends and fans are "dead to me", saying "I've been plumbed so deep emotionally by them all that I've got nothing left." And last week, still raw from winning and losing the OAOAST World Title in the same night, he took out his frustrations on his former girlfriend Maggie and then his innocent niece Jade. Leon stalks his way down the aisle eyes lowered fixed on the ring, as the song suddenly erupts and the lights flash back and forth from purple to white static. "I'VE BECOME SO NUMB I CAN'T FEEL YOU THERE BECOME SO TIRED SO MUCH MORE AWARE! I'M BECOMING THIS ALL I WANT TO DO IS BE MORE LIKE ME AND BE LESS LIKE YOU!" Walking up the ring steps, Leon stops briefly and stares out into the crowd, taking a long breath before he enters the ring. His lowered eyes look over at Jumbo as he pulls off his inside out robe, throwing it carelessly under the bottom rope. COACH Well it's kind of hard to argue with Leon lately. We've been saying it for long enough, how many things have gone badly for Leon. I guess it was only a matter of time before something snapped. COLE Maybe Leon is going through a period of bad luck. But to take it all out on his closest friends and on his family the way he is, what good does that do? COACH You heard him yourself, he doesn't care anymore. *DINGDINGDING!* Leon sizes up his opponent, which is quite a size up. The bigman looks at his opponent with pity, as he skulks around the ring. As they move in Jumbo doesn't go for a lock-up and instead seems to be talking to his opponent, questioning where his head is at. Leon has no time for Jumbo's compassion though and CRACKS him across the face with a slap! COLE That's not too smart. Jumbo is understandably mad and goes after Leon, who ducks through the ropes, growling at the referee to "GET HIM OFF ME". COLE And if Leon insists on being so sullen, he might not want to bring Jumbo down with him. As Jumbo is moved back by the referee Rodez emerges from the ropes. Scowling, he moves in and locks up with the bigman, quickly delivering a knee to the gut before Jumbo's strength can show. With Jumbo doubled up, Leon delivers a forearm to the side of the head. And another. And a third. But Jumbo shrugs them off, shoving Leon away! Rolling through to his feet, Leon runs right back at Jumbo with a boot to his portly midsection and goes for an irish whip... but Jumbo won't budge! Regretting his move choice Leon tries again, but again has no success moving the 440 pounder. COACH If Jumbo don't want to go, Jumbo ain't going! Resigned to defeat, another boot from Rodez breaks hold of Jumbo and he hits the ropes himself. A clothesline connects, but it doesn't budge big Jumbo! Leon tries again, a second clothesline not enough either! Into the ropes again, Leon clubs Jumbo with a third clothesline, but he's still on his feet. And Jumbo suddenly reverses on Leon, throwing him into the ropes and knocking him down with a shoulder tackle! "YYEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Leon quickly rolls under the bottom rope to regroup with Jumbo hot on his trail. The referee gets in between the two, preventing Jumbo from attacking while Rodez is in the ropes. Which allows Leon to pop up and grab Jumbo, hanging his neck across the top rope! COLE Well that's a cheap move, the kind of cheap move Leon Rodez never used to resort to. COACH He's in there with someone twice his size, cut the guy some slack. As Jumbo reels back, Leon climbs to the top rope and connects with a Missile Dropkick, finally enough to put Jumbo down! Leon goes for the cover... 1... 2... POWER kickout! Annoyed by that, Leon quickly mounts Jumbo and rains down with right hands! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" Breaking away before he can be disqualified, Leon comes off the ropes with an elbow drop. A second elbow. And a third, before glaring into the crowd brimming with frustration. COACH See, this is the kind of killer instinct we never saw outta Leon when he was the 'nice guy'. All the smiling and the entertaining, that's great. But this is what wins you matches, wins you titles. COLE Except Leon didn't seem to have a problem winning matches and titles with the smiling and the entertaining before. This isn't some conscious choice, this is the result of something inside Leon going wrong. Jumbo picks himself up on the ropes and Leon is on him, clubbing away in a vain attempt to keep him from getting up. Jumbo does reach his feet, so Leon tries and succeeds in whipping him to the ropes. Putting everything he has behind a back elbow, Leon knocks Jumbo backwards, staggering back against the ropes he came from. As Jumbo falls to a knee Leon rushes over and stomps his opponent, until he lays across the middle rope. Turning away, usually you'd expect a jig at this point from Rodez. Instead, he scowls at the idea before turning back and standing on Jumbo's back, holding onto the top rope in order to choke him against the middle. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FI..." Stepping down, Leon ignores the referee as he reprimands him. Getting a run-up he delivers a dropkick to Jumbo's back before he can get off the ropes, then goes for another cover... 1... 2... No! Members of the crowd shout their approval for Jumbo by shouting "JUMBO!" (seriously, that's what they do, watch some NOAH you philistines!), briefly distracting Leon. COLE It's still so strange, seeing an OAOAST crowd routing against Leon Rodez. Jumbo begins to get to his feet, kicked repeatedly by Leon as he tries to do so. The kicks won't keep the bigman down though and eventually he reaches up, grabbing Leon by the throat. The referee warns Jumbo about the choke, allowing Leon to break the hand away and nail Jumbo in the gut with a rolling sobat kick. With his back to Jumbo, Leon then turns the other way, spinning 180 and connecting with an enziguri! COLE Nice combination of kicks from Leon. COACH Nice if you're not on the receiving end. Leon covers Jumbo... 1... 2... Kickout! Looking a little frustrated, Leon forces Jumbo with all his might so he's backed into a corner. Hanging Jumbo's arms over the ropes Leon fires off a flurry of right hands, weaking the bigman while he walks across the ring. Leon lines up his large target and charges in, taking off with his Superman Spear! COACH See, that's not the place to be attacking Jumbo. He's got plenty of padding there. With Jumbo slumped over Rodez walks back across the ring, lining up again. As he charges this time though, Jumbo moves out of the way. Able to put the brakes on in time, Leon stops himself in the corner and charges Jumbo in the next corner... but Jumbo gets his knee up! Dazed, Leon stumbles backwards. Jumbo grabs him by the arm, whipping him into the corner and ENGULFING the fallen idol with an AVALANCHE in the corner!! COLE OH! Four hundred, fourty pounds, just SQUASHING Rodez! A flattented Rodez stumbles out of the corner again and into Jumbo's arms, with a BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!! 1... 2... SHOULDER UP! COLE I would hate to think what state of mind Leon would be in if he loses here tonight! And he almost did right there! Jumbo starts to get some confidence back and draws on the crowd as Leon gets back up. Off the ropes, Jumbo trundles forward and knocks Leon down with a hefty body attack. Another cover by Jumbo... 1... 2... Kickout! Calling out to the crowd, Jumbo looks ready to go for the kill. COLE Jumbo is feeling it here. We could be on the verge of a considerable upset, if Jumbo can knock off the former World Champion, here at his lowest ebb! Jumbo grabs hold of Leon by the head, but Rodez breaks away and attacks the knee with a couple of kicks. A couple of forearms follow, before Leon hits the ropes. He ducks a clothesline from Jumbo, rolling through off the far ropes and looking for the clothesline... but meets Jumbo's boot in his chest! As Leon hits the mat Jumbo comes off the ropes and goes for the XL SPLASH... ...BUT LEON ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!!!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH At least they're well trained for earthquakes here in Japan. Winded, Jumbo gets to one knee before getting cracked in the back of the head with a dropkick! He's rolled over and as he gets to his knees again, Leon is waiting, aiming with a Rolling Sobat to the head and CONNECTING, scrambling Jumbo's brains!!! Leon quickly forces Jumbo down onto his shoulders and hooks what he can of the leg... 1... 2... 3!!! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... LLEEEEOOOOONN... RRROOOOOODDEEEEEZZZZZZZ!!! COLE And with that deadly spinkick to the head, Leon Rodez picks up the victory over the 440 pound Jumbo. Not in the mood for any celebrations, Leon warns the referee off with a cursory glare as he gets to his feet. He looks down at Jumbo as he's rolled from the ring. No hint of a smile or any kind of enjoyment. Just a blank stare, the same blank stare that he gives the crowd. *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Wait just a minute! The crowd suddenly erupt as "Liberate" powers through the arena and again as BOHEMOTH marches through the entrance way! Unsuited, the tanktop and jeans combo from Bohemoth apparantly mean business~ as he makes his way down the aisle, eyes locked on Rodez. Leon, caught a little by surprise, stands with his hands on his hips and looking away as Bohemoth jogs up the ring steps and enters the ring, demanding a microphone. COLE Bohemoth apparantly looking for a showdown with his one time friend, after what happened last week. As Bohemoth gets the microphone, Leon doesn't bother to wait around to hear what he has to say and starts to leave, which obviously doesn't sit well. BOHEMOTH HEY! Don't you go anywhere man, because I've got something to say! Stopping halfway through the ropes, Leon slowly steps back inside, still not giving Bohemoth the courtesy of any eye contact. BOHEMOTH You know, I don't know what the hell is going on in your head lately. I don't know what's happening, to make you turn your back on Zack and on me the way you have. That's fine. I'm sure you've got your reasons, crazy as they might be. But I draw the line when you start going around and taking all this crap out on other people, innocent people. Especially when those people include Jade. Leon finally looks over at Bohemoth at the mention of Jade's name, stood in a corner. BOHEMOTH Oh yeah. She told me what happened last week. And I'm sure as hell not going to sit back and accept that. I mean, come on man... that's your niece. And you feel you can talk to her the way you did? Big man all of a sudden, taking your anger out on people who aren't gonna fight back. Well guess what, family or no family, when you mess with Jade, you mess with me. So if you've got something to say, how about you say it to my face if you've got the guts? Huh? How 'bout that? Glancing up, Leon's face shows the hint of a smile as he takes the microphone away from Bohemoth, daring enough to stand right in his face as asked. LEON You're right about one thing. Jade is my family. Which is why I think you aren't going to do a damn thing to me. Raising his eyebrows as if to say "oh yeah?", Bohemoth sure looks ready to do something. Until Leon laughs under his breath. LEON You know what, 'Bo', save the tough man act. You don't scare me. Not one bit. The fact is, you're pathetic. Just like I once was. Look at you. All angry, pent up, on somebody's else's behalf. Always somebody's else's man. Standing in Zack's shadow, just like I was. Before that, standing in Wright's shadow. And now, fighting your girlfriend's battles. I always second guessed whether you really had a brain of your own in that head of yours and I guess we're finding out now, you don't. Well, I do have a mind of my own now. And my mind is telling me things that it should have months ago. If you, or Zack, or Jade don't like it, that's too bad. Sometimes you need to hear those things you don't want to listen to. I mean, we could go into the real story behind why a jacked up 32 year old man is sleeping with a tiny 19 year old girl and what that says about him... Bohemoth's eyes widen, about ready to kill after that cheapshot. But somehow, he doesn't. LEON ...but the fact is, you aren't worth a second of my time. I don't owe you an explanation. I don't owe you any gratitude. And I don't owe you an apology. Leon turns his back on Bohemoth and goes to walk off, but stops, looking over his shoulder. LEON If you've got a problem with that, then go ahead and do your worst. Leaving himself wide open to a sneak attack Leon stands and waits for Bohemoth to make a move. Those in the crowd that understand what's going on urge Bohemoth to take Leon out. But Bohemoth, strangely, can't bring himself to attack Leon and just stands fuming, glaring a hole in the back of his head. LEON That's what I thought. Throwing the microphone back at Bohemoth's feet Leon leaves the ring, a contemptful look on his face as he walks off. Bohemoth stands in the middle of the ring still seething as he watches Leon leave. COACH Wow. Leon called Bo's bluff... and he's walking away in one piece. COLE Honestly, I don't think Leon really cares if Bohemoth did tear him apart. I don't think he'd have given Bohemoth the slightest opportunity if he was. But Bohemoth didn't take it, showing miraculous restraint considered what Leon had the nerve to say to him. COACH Oh, I don't think it's nerve. I think you're right first time, it's not hard to be brave when you don't care about anything or anyone. Bohemoth continues to stand seething in the ring as we fade away. *COMMERCIALS* Back from the commercials, Jade Rodez-Duncan cuts a worried figure having just watched what we saw on a monitor backstage. She paces around, apparantly waiting for Bohemoth to come back from the ring. But it's not Bohemoth who walks up behind her, but uncle Leon. JADE Leon... What was that about!? What's your problem, Bo's never done anything to you. LEON That'd make him about the only person here who hasn't then. JADE ...Leon, you need to talk to somebody. Please. You're taking your anger out on everybody that cares about you, people who are trying to help you, don't do this again, please... LEON I heard what you said. To Bohemoth, that is. Jade stops her pleading, surprised. LEON I hate to be the one to break it to you... but he's not going to keep that promise. Life doesn't work that way. You don't get what you really want in the end. Trust me, he WILL break your heart. And then... then you'll understand me. You'll understand everything. Leon walks off, leaving Jade with that troubling thought.

BACKSTAGE MOLLY NERDLY chats with MORGAN NERDLY MORGAN No, No, no! You don’t have the right to tell me what to do! MOLLY Morgan, you simply can’t keep doing this! You are an eighteen year old girl, who takes classes at a community college. No matter what your brain may try and convince you of believing you are not a monster. You have to stop. This isn't a game. MORGAN I can’t stop, and I won’t stop. I have to find out who hurt Lori. MOLLY Lorelei is an awful person, any number of people could’ve done harm to her. Why must it be your job to find the culprit? MORGAN Because I don’t have anyone else. You have tons of friends, and the family loves you. I have no one. There’s no one who’s shoulder I can cry on, or someone I can spend hours talking on the phone to. I have no one but Lori. If something happens to her, I’ll be all alone. MOLLY This isn’t true, you have me. MORGAN I don’t have you! You? Your two minute intervention can’t erase the nineteen years of neglect and apathy you and everyone else gave me. When I was in the hospital after my first suicide attempt, I got three visits in four weeks. I guess nurses and doctors I’ve never met were supposed to be better company than my real family. But when mom and dad did come, I’d ask them if they could bring Molly next time. The one time when you could’ve come you had a choice between me and an Oilers game. You picked the Oilers game. I wanted to see you more then, anything and you picked the Oilers game. MOLLY I did not understand the severity of your illness. MORGAN And you never will. COMMERCIAL LATER TONIGHT OAOAST WORLD TITLE CHRISTIAN WRIGHT VS KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN TONIGHT ALSO! CLIMB THE LADDER ZACK MALIBU VS JAMES RIGGS TONIGHT! COMMERCIAL

Suburban Tokyo is our image as the break concludes COLE Our US Title match is up next, let's go back up to the ring. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the OAOAST UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP! In the ring, accompanied by BIFF ATLAS... from Brooklyn, New York. Weighing two hundred, twenty eight pounds... "THE DISCO DUCK"... VVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNYYYYYY... VVVAAAAAAAAALLLLLEEENNTTIIIIIIINNEEEEE!!! Vinny breaks out the "Night Fever" dance, shrugging off Biff's eager attempts to tell him something. COLE A big opportunity tonight for Brooklyn, New York's only known disco fan. "Oh No" by Mos Def, Nate Dogg, and Pharoah Monche hits and the first time Nate Dogg shouts "Oh No", a quick burst of pyro shoots up from both sides of the ramp, showering Todd Cortez in sparkles as he stands preparing to walk down the aisle. BUFFER And introducing his opponent. Weighing in tonight at two hundred and twenty six pounds... and representing Cucaracha Internacional... he is the reigning and defending OAOAST UNITED STATES CHAMPION... "THE URBAN LEGEND"... TTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODD... CCOOOOOORRRRRRRRTTEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZ!!! Cortez climbs into the ring and stands on the turnbuckles, showing off the US Title to the Japanese fans. Still instant about trying to tell Vinny something, Biff is shooed from the ring by his tag partner, with more important things to worry about than Biff's insane superpower theories. Cortez hands the belt over to the referee and Vinny V gets a good look at it, before asking the referee to hold it in the air and using it as a makeshift disco ball, dancing underneath it!! COACH Oh yeah! COLE We've seen some disrespect and degredation for championship belts before and that's right up there. COACH Are you kidding? If Vinny wins tonight, I'm sure the belt will take pride of place, hanging over his dancefloor. *DINGDINGDING!* Vinny gets down to business and locks up with Cortez, grabbing a side headlock. The smile is wiped from Vinny's face though as Todd turns out of the headlock, sweeps the leg and kicks Vinny HARD in the spine! Rolling out of the ring Vinny calls a timeout. COLE That's what happens when you treat someone else's title belt as a disco ball... I assume, anyway... I don't imagine that's ever happened before, anywhere, ever. Having worked the kinks out in his back, shrugging off Biff's attempts to help in the process, Vinny climbs back into the ring. He asks for another lock up, only to fake Cortez out and boot him in the gut instead. Vinny clubs Todd in the back before giving him a chop to the chest, suddenly feeling good again. Off the ropes, he knocks Todd down with a shoulder charge and proceeds to dance again! COLE Now is not the time for dancing, even if you are "The Disco Duck". Vinny hits the ropes again, going up and over Cortez. Popping to his feet Cortez looks for a hiptoss, blocked by Valentine. After another ode to John Travolta, Vinny swings at Cortez with a clothesline. Cortez ducks though and rolls Vinny up... 1... 2... No! Vinny elbows Cortez down and tries a pin of his own... 1... 2... No! Shoving Cortez to the ropes, Vinny ducks his head and pays with a boot to the shoulder blade. He tries again with a clothesline but Cortez ducks again, waiting for Vinny to come back off the ropes and delivering a well-placed kick to the chest. With Vinny reeling, Todd delivers a clothesline off his own. And another, sending Vinny rolling to the floor again. COLE I think Cortez has had just about enough of Vinny's timeouts. Biff comes over to advise Vinny again, just as Cortez leans out of the ring... and clocks their heads together! COLE A meeting of the... uhm... minds? Pulled back onto the apron by Cortez, Valentine is nailed with a couple of right hands before the referee comes over. The moment's distraction allows Vinny to knee Cortez through the ropes and set him up, looking for a suplex to the floor. Cortez blocks the attempt and fights Valentine off, nailing him with some more shots. Staggered on the apron, Vinny holds onto the top rope hovering dangerously over the arena floor. One final right hand dislodges him... and luckily, Biff is there to come to Vinny's aid, catching Vinny in an electric chair as he falls off the apron. COACH Oh, the super strength! COLE The wha... please, don't you start! Ungrateful, Vinny yells at Biff to put him down but he seems more amazed at having heroicly rescued someone and tries to stop his legs from wobbling while he carries Vinny to 'safety'. Cortez watches on, confused. Before eventually he tires of the cherade and runs across the ring, DIVING INTO BIFF WITH A PLANCHA THAT SENDS BIFF AND VINNY ON HIS SHOULDERS CRASHING BACK INTO THE BARRICADE!!!!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE All they're missing is a long overcoat and a hat and they'd make the perfect Scooby Doo villian. Cortez untangles Valentine from Biff and throws him back into the ring, going for the pin... 1... 2... Kickout! Staggering away, hands in front of him, Vinny tries to buy some time but Cortez chases after him with a boot and sends him to the ropes. Knocking Vinny down with a back elbow, Todd turns away and follows up with a standing moonsault! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE I have to say, Cortez taking this challenge in his stride, unlike Landon Maddix earlier. COACH Todd's a fighting champion. Landon wouldn't invest his time and knowledge into anything less. COLE I'm sure Todd appreciates every bit of it. Vinny backs into a corner... *SLAP!* ...and gets chopped! *SLAP!* ...and again! Cortez then whips Vinny across the ring, but runs into a raised boot as he tries to follow up. COLE Oh, Vinny scores with a hard shot. Out of the corner, Vinny delivers a swinging neckbreaker on the doubled up US Champion! He crawls on top and makes the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Vinny shakes off the effects of the punishment he's been taking before attacking Cortez, clubbing him across the back as he tries to get up. Scoop and a slam puts Todd in position for Vinny to go up to the middle rope. He stands tall and jukes and jives a little, before driving the point of the elbow into the chest. COLE And Valentine starting to build some momentum. Any coincidence that Biff is still flat out on the floor? You decide. Doing a little celebratory dance, Vinny waves Todd back to his feet. A boot doubles him up, Vinny off the ropes with a kneelift. Vinny then grabs Cortez in a gutwrench and attempts to turn him up inside down, setting up Blame It On The Boogie! But Todd rolls right over onto his feet and reverses on Vinny, elevating him onto a shoulder and rolling SNAKE EYES in the corner. Turning into the ropes, Cortez then catches Vinny staggering backwards with the HOLLOW POOOOOIIIIIINNTT!! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Cortez looks for the finish and sets Vinny up, looking for the RIOT ACT PLUS... NO! Vinny backdrops his way out of it! COLE Vinny dodged a bullet there and... wait a minute, what's this? Motioning to the outside, Vinny calls very clearly for Biff to go and get him a steel chair. Still looking shaken up, Biff starts to walk around ringside to go grab a chair... but suddenly, he stops. To Vinny's confusion. A little more frantic, he waves at Biff to "put the pedal to the metal", but Biff wags his finger. And telling Vinny he has a "better idea", he goes back around the ring and starts to try and uproot the steel steps! COLE What is Biff doing? COACH I think Vinny's wondering the same thing. Biff struggles to get the lower steps away but manages to, as Vinny watches on bemused. Deep breath, Biff summons on his (super?) strength and prepares to throw the steps into the ring... and freezes. COLE Uh-oh... I think Biff may have thrown his back out! With Biff doubled up in pain, Vinny despairs before getting spun around by Cortez. Vinny throws a wild, instinctive right hand which Cortez ducks, jarring Valentine with the Crotch Droppah! Cortez then reels Vinny in and connects with the RIOT ACT PLUS~!~!~!#1#!~#!~, dead centre of the ring!! COLE Riot Act Plus, no Biff to save, this one is over! 1... 2... 3!!! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match and STILL OAOAST United States Champion... TTOOOOOOOOOODD... CCOOOORRRRRTTEEEEZZZZ!!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Vinny rolls out of the ring and he and Biff are left to help each other towards the back, one favouring his back and one favouring his neck. The US Champion remains in the ring and climbs the turnbuckles to salute the Japanese fans again. COLE And an impressive, successful title defence for the US Champ here in Tokyo! Cortez steps off the turnbuckles and begins to turn away, when suddenly a figure hops the barricade! Sliding into the ring, the unnamed attacker then nails an unsuspecting Cortez from behind with a clothesline!! COLE Wait a minute, what the hell is this!? COACH Is that... that guy, we've been seeing these past few weeks? Tommy G? COLE It is! That's exactly who it is! But what is he doing here in Japan!? As Todd picks himself up, Tommy G climbs onto the middle ring rope and waits for the US Champion to turn his way. 6'6" and 270, he amazes everybody by taking off and hooking Cortez in mid-air with a FLYING TORNADO DDT, planting Cortez right on his head!! COLE WOW! What a DDT that was... but WHY!? Standing over Cortez, the mysterious Tommy G looks around the crowd before down at Cortez with a satisfied smile. Security and referees make their way out, causing Tommy G to casually leave the same way he came, back through the crowd, having sent whatever message he intended to send.

Anglesault's in the back, in his office, when the door swings open to show ZACK MALIBU barging in. ANGLESAULT We're friends and all, but you think you could knock? MALIBU What's your deal? ANGLESAULT What are you talking about? MALIBU I'm talking about tonight. ANGLESAULT What about it? You're on the show this week, just like I promised. MALIBU Cut the crap, 'Sault. I just lost the World Title, I just got cheated out of it by Leon Rodez, and now I've got you playing games with me. ANGLESAULT Playing games? Zack, I'm trying to MOTIVATE you. I want you to regain that lost edge of yours. I want you to find yourself...the REAL Zack Malibu. Not this...crybaby you've become. Malibu snarls, then CRACKS his friend across the face with a hard slap! MALIBU Crybaby? CRYBABY? Let's get one thing straight, Anglesault. I'm the one out there busting my ass in the ring and out of it, doing personal appearances, interviews, meeting with licensees, while you enjoy your retirement and sitting at a desk. I do EVERYTHING for this company. I sacrifice time with my family and my friends out of wrestling for this company and FOR YOU, and all I have to hear from you is how I don't "have it" anymore? It's not motivating me, Anglesault, it's PISSING ME OFF. ANGLESAULT GOOD, because that's what it's doing to me too! Stop playing pretend, Zack. Stop playing the victim role! Oh, poor you, you lost the World Title, you got screwed AGAIN. Maybe if you weren't such a god damn sap it wouldn't be so easy to have the wool pulled over your eyes. You think I'm going to let you NEAR a title match in that condition, Zack? I told you...you find yourself, you bring the Zack Malibu that DESERVES to be called The Franchise out of wherever you've hidden him, and you can have whatever you want. Until then, and no sooner, you are going to be working your way back up the ladder, starting tonight with James Riggs. Maybe you'll prove me wrong, Zack, and I hope you do, but if not, then maybe someone else will step up and be The Franchise for this company...MY company. The two friends are furious with each other, and silently stare each other down, before Zack just turns and walks away. Anglesault rubs his reddened cheek, and we fade to commercial. GREAT ANGLE BASH! THIS MONTH! ONLY ON PPV! COMMERCIAL

“In the Air Tonight” by Non-point booms through the speakers as Tango Bosley and CPA emerge. BUFFER The following NON-TITLE special challenge match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, at a total combine weight of 565 pounds… DETECTIVE TANGO BOSLEY and CPA... VVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIICE!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" In a rarity, VICE is without manager and amateur private investigator Morgan Nerdly. It doesn’t make them any less dangerous, however. COLE They violate the rules, operate on intimidation and tonight vow to teach Team Heyross a lesson in respect all because they felt snubbed in their own twisted minds. COACH In their own twisted minds? They were snubbed! Fact is, Team Heyross should be on their hands and knees kissing the feet of VICE for saving their tag title. Being the good guys that they are, Boz and CPA would’ve settled for a simple thank you instead. But no, they couldn’t even do that. COLE The only thing VICE did was ruin what up to that point had been one of the all-time classic bouts in OAOAST history. “Shine” by Collective Soul hits and Team Heyross appear. They raise their arms and red, white and blue pyro shoot off behind them. BUFFER And their opponents! Total combined weight 485 pounds, the ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS… CHARLIE MOSS and QUENTIN BENJAMIN... TEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Off come the windbreakers and tag belts, then it’s time for action. * DINGDINGDING * Benjamin and Bosley lockup as the bell sounds, and Benjamin executes an arm drag. No way can Benjamin do it again Bosley thinks and of course he does. Becoming more frustrated by the second Bosley demands another tie-up and this time knees Benjamin! COACH Third time’s the charm, Mikey Cole. Backhand karate chops and big right hands stun Benjamin, who then is fired across…but he ducks a roundhouse kick and decks Bosley with a SPINNING WHEEL KICK! The cover. ONE! KICKOUT! Benjamin leans Bosley against the ropes and tags Moss. He drops down as Bosley shoots back on the rebound and Moss delivers a SUPERKICK! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Whipped to the buckle, Bosley leaps onto the middle rope and back at Moss, driving the point of the elbow into Moss’ sternum! The cover. ONE! KICKOUT! Bosley sends Moss for the ride and tags CPA. Shot to the gut doubles him over as CPA enters and lands a running boot to the head! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! CPA rams Moss into the buckle and proceeds to punish him with corner shoulder thrusts. Vertical suplex and a succession of elbows follow before another pin is attempted. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! VICE tag and, off the ropes, lift Moss into the air and slam him down! The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY BENJAMIN! Bosley dumps Moss outside and gets into it with Benjamin, allowing CPA to smash Moss back-first into the ring post! COLE That damn BULLY~! CPA rolls Moss back in and Bosley performs an old school backbreaker. Standing over his foe Bosley lays the verbal smack down…and gets SMALL PACKAGED! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COLE Oh was that close. COACH Bosley almost caught napping there, Cole. You always have to be aware in the ring but doubly so against the likes of Team Heyross. They can grab a hold and make you say uncle or pin you out of nowhere. Bosley stomps Moss and then tags out. FRONT SPINEBUSTER plants Moss mid-ring! The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY BENJAMIN! CPA shoots Benjamin a look than would scare the shit out of Satan himself, but Benjamin doesn’t back down and instead challenges CPA to bring it. CPA You don’t want none of this. You don’t want none of… MOSS SCHOOL BOY’S CPA! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Moss ducks a clothesline, makes the blind tag, ducks a big boot on the rebound and Team Heyross hit THE DOUBLE GOOZLE! The cover. ONE! TWO! NO!! Benjamin moves and Bosley elbows his partner! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Rocked by a series of roundhouses, Bosley is BAAAAAAAACK body dropped, then clotheslined outside where he reaches into his pant leg and pulls out a TELESCOPIC BATON! COACH Business is about to pickup, baby boy. Bosley sprints to the other side of the ring and CLOBBERS Moss! Meanwhile, Benjamin levels CPA with a TOP ROPE CLOTHESLINE and makes the cover. ONE! TWO! * TWHACK * "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Sonuva…! * DINGDINGDING * Though the bell has sounded Bosley continues his assault. COLE Somebody stop this! CPA gets in on the act as OAOAST officials swarm the ring. The damage done VICE take the tag titles with them. COLE VICE adding insult to injury. COACH Yeah, they not only beat respect into Team Heyross, they also took their tag team championship! VICE hold the titles overhead as we go to the always luxurious Enterprise dressing room where Christian Wright, Spencer Reiger, and Theodore Moneymaker sip celebratory wines. However only Moneymaker appears to be in a mood for a celebration REIGER Ted, what were you thinking? MONEYMAKER I was thinking towards the future, Spencer. Don’t be so small minded in your outlook of the world. This is a new playing field we’ve entered and it requires big ideas and big minds. The old ways are just that old and extinct methods for laggards and simpletons. The new world requires unique alliances to pave the way to greatness. I would think given that you come from a moneyed family you would understand the line between friend and foe is almost non existent. REIGER Okay, yeah, maybe. But, you can’t trust Krista. You can’t trust women period. They're deceit and evil wrapped in a cloak of lies and half truths. Women are not to be trusted, under any circumstances. You’ve fallen into their trap. MONEYMAKER I’ve secured a better a future for all of us, my boy. Follow me and I promise you riches beyond what you ever thought were possible. WRIGHT Theodore this situation is most unsettling as it pertains to my title match later this evening. I deduce perhaps a conflict of interest or a fissure in this fresh partnership may arise. MONEYMAKER Christian, there’s nothing to worry about. I myself will be refereeing this title match between you and Krista, and I promise you both a fairly judged contest. WRIGHT I shall look forward to it.

Despite the Oriental decoration, there's no feng shui, relaxed zen or calming chi in the office of OAOAST President Josie Baker. Just more headaches and more paperwork, with some different scenery. And it's still an open door policy to any disgruntled OAOAST workers who want to barge in and disrupt her. Like, for example, Landon Maddix, who doesn't even bother knocking and catches Josie by surprise in a small, short moment of calm. MADDIX Josie, a moment of your time? Landon, rather presumptiously, takes a seat on the edge of Josie's desk. A rather vexed Ms. Baker stands up and walks around in front. JOSIE Look, Landon, this whole 'level playing field' thing you seem to think we have, just because you're running the SWF and I'm running the OAOAST and you believe we've got some sort of common ground... it's not happening, okay? We're not buddy buddy, you don't have some special inside track with me. You are the employee and I am the employer. Understood? MADDIX You're feeling stressed out. I can tell. Don't worry, I get the same thing myself all the time. Josie feels like banging her head against a brick wall, but thankfully restrains herself. MADDIX Here's the deal. I've been trying to get this little thing off the ground with my guys lately, a challenge laid out to the rest of the locker room. Four on four, anyone who thinks they're a stronger force than Cucaracha Internacional can go ahead and try to prove it. It's simple, but it's effective. Anyway, the problem is, I guess you must have not heard about it, being so busy as you are. We can't answer any of these challenges, because we're getting double booked! First you put Todd and James in some ladder match at School's Out, meaning we can't accept a challenge on Pay Per View. Then last week, you're putting Faqu in there with the World Champion, so we can't accept a challenge then either. Your priorities are a... little all over the place. Look, I run my own promotion too... Josie groans under her breath. MADDIX ...so I know how hard it is to keep everyone happy with booking conflicts. So I'm just laying it out there, just something to keep in mind, unless you really HAVE to, don't be putting my guys into situations that don't matter anymore. What's important to us is the eight mans. JOSIE I appreciate the clarification. MADDIX Not a problem. Always glad to help. So, what are the chances of finding us opponents for tonight? JOSIE Well, as it happens, you're in luck. I've got opponents ready and waiting. Smiling, Landon doesn't seem to notice the tone of Josie's voice might not be leading to something he'll like. JOSIE You see, I've been meaning to talk to you about this eight man tag situation. Yeah. Very good idea. Not only is it great for unity... it's doing a great job of keeping those titles around your boys' waists, isn't it? MADDIX What do you mean by that? JOSIE Well, we can't have them defending the belts if they're in eight man tag matches, can we? Very crafty. Unfortunately, contrary to what you seem to think, nothing gets past me Landon. Trying to look as offended as possible at these 'wild' accusations, Landon stands up off the desk. JOSIE You've not been defending titles on PPV, on TV and even the live event defences are drying up. And now both the US and 6-Man Titles are running close to their 30 days. I'm not having another International Championship on my hands. So, tonight, Cucaracha Internacional are going to be defending their titles. MADDIX What? Why? JOSIE Were you not listening, I just explained exactly why! MADDIX But what about the eight man tag I asked for? You're just going to take my suggestion and toss it away, without even considering it? JOSIE Yes, that's exactly what I'm doing. Now, if you could run along and pass the message on? I've got a lot of paperwork to be getting on with... I'm sure you understand. Trying to come up with another arguement, Landon comes up short and ends up stomping out of the room in a huff. Josie sighs and goes back to her paperwork as the sound of footsteps and muttering gets fainter and fainter.

The scene is a backstage corridor, and the subject is a middle aged balding man rushing down the hallway. His face is decorated with panic and he keeps looking over his shoulder. MORGAN (O.S.) You can’t escape me! The man continues his charge down the hallways. MORGAN (O.S.) I can melt the skin off your bones! The man puts even more speed behind his escape attempt. MORGAN (O.S.) I will make you watch the your charred flesh cake off your body! Morgan’s threats continue even further, until the man rushes into a dead end. He turns around with mouth held open by ghastly fear. His fright is confirmed as Morgan rushes forward and slams a knee into his midsection. The pain tries to slide him down the concrete wall, but Morgan’s furious grip holds him up by the neck. MORGAN I do this for a living. This is my sole purpose in life. You can’t beat someone at their reason for living. MAN What do you want from me? MORGAN I just want an answer. Who knocked out Lorelei at School’s Out? MAN How would I know?! MORGAN Why are you going to make me hurt you? Why are you doing this to me? You were the cameraman there with Lorelei! Either you tell me now, or I fill you with enough electricity to light up Times Square. MAN Look on the tape! MORGAN The tape is missing. I’m trying so hard to keep my calm, but you’re pushing me in the direction I always go to. I try to be normal but people like you… MAN I can’t tell you! I was sworn to secrecy! MORGAN Then you can unswear. MAN I can’t! I can’t! MORGAN I understand. I’m sorry…. Morgan lets her victim go free and sighs with a heavy heart. MORGAN I wish you could’ve been more help. I would have liked to like you. ZAAAAAAAAAAP! MAN AHHHHHHHHHHH! LATER TONIGHT OAOAST WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS CHRISTIAN WRIGHT TONIGHT! COMMERCIAL

Yay! The OAOAST is saved! It'll be a world title match: Christian Wright Vs Krista, I don't really need the ME so if anyone would like it just say the magic word! I do kinda need the opening unless someone got something pressing.

If anyone with a heel character wants a title shot lemme know like riiiiiight now, otherwise I'll just use Christian Wright

I have singlehandedly brought an end to the OAOAST

Very, very good show! I really enjoyed this one.

BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the OAOAST World Title! The cheers for the announcement of a title defense quickly fade out the way as “King Kong” comes over the speakers. The entrance doors come apart revealing the gigantic and deadly Faqu to the booing audience. The mighty Samoan throws a crazed roar into the air before heading down to the ring. BUFFER Now introducing the challenger He weighs in at three hundred and one pounds... representing CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL"... FFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - QQUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! COLE Krista’s first world title defense coming against one of the most dangerous men in the OAOAST. Faqu the last ever HI-YAH champion before the company closed due to Yakuza ties. Faqu slides into the ring, frightening the referee with his furious snarling and hostile glare. Give me those bright lights, long nights High rise, over time Give me them bright lights, long nights Party till the sun is rising High rise, over time Working till the moon is shining Hot guys, fly girls Never thought I'd say I feel on top of the world I feel on top of the world Hey A huge explosion of cheers greets the brand new OAOAST world champion as she steps onto the sparkling entrance stage wearing a ruffled white skirt and a Lakers jersey. The gold painted dancers continue to groove and move around Krista, as she twirls around with her newly won world title held in the air. BUFFER And introducing the champion, from Los Angeles, California, she is a loving mother, a New York Times Best selling author, founder of FIT with KID, a Hollywood Walk of Famer, the 2009 wrestler of the year, and the current OAOAST World Champion, she is MISS CALIFORNIA KRISTA ISADORAAA DUNCAAAAAAAAN Krista, plays it calm and cool as she walks down and entry ramp lined with photographers. A smirk resides on her face as the title falls across her shoulders. COLE The first HeldDOWN of Krista’s title reign and its already been interesting! A new business partner, two attempted title thefts, and finally her first defense against a juggernaut of a man. COACH Krista has an open policy for the world title, if you want a shot just sign up. Landon Maddix signed Faqu up, sending him out to bring the world title to Cucaracha Internacional. Krista intends on performing her scintillating rope hanging trick, but notices that Faqu is drooling at the sight of her. Highly disturbed, she decides to enter the ring like normal. COLE Theodore Moneymaker may be frustrated tonight, but even I have to admit he made a grade investment. A Hollywood walk of famer, an A list celebrity, and an OAOAST world champion is a great thing to sink you cash into. COACH Big stars have big egos and Krista’s is out of this world! DING DING DING! COLE I think Krista realizes her usual tricks won’t work on Faqu, who probably doesn’t know enough to realize he’s being insulted. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Faqu eyes Krista down the way a lion might eye down the zebra its soon to pounce on. Krista tries her hardest not too look intimidated. But that effort doesn’t hold up as the gigantic Samoan rushes across the ring to attack her . Having no desire to be reduced to a pancake, the fitness queen quickly rolls beneath the ropes and out the ring. “Ya know, what you can go and have the belt, I didn’t really want it.” Krista comments as she gathers up the belt from the time keeper. “ARRRRRRGHHHHHHHH!” Faqu screams. “I guess that either means yes or you find the ongoing marital saga of John and Kate Gossesslin to be detrimental to their young children. I’ll assume the former and if you could just stick your body through the ropes to grab it, that’d be great.” Pleased with the offer Faqu sticks his body between the ropes. That’s precisely when Krista wacks him in the face with it! “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” “Kids, don’t be like me, mocking the handicap is truly wrong. Unless that handicap is Christian Wright, in which case mock away! Krista leaps onto the ring apron as Faqu stumbles about the squared circle. She hops onto the ropes and throws herself forward to topple the monster with a diving lariat! Faqu is forced to his feet where Krista wacks his blubbery chest with rapid fire knife edge chops. The blows barely register on Faqu’s pain threshhold and he easily pushes the much lighter woman away. Roaring in anger he leaps towards her with a body splash. Avoiding sure doom, Krista rolls out the way and the ring mat shakes as though the building were hit with an earthquake. COLE I wonder what that registered on the Richter scale? Both champion and challenger roll to their feet, with the much quicker Krista scoring several kicks with her white high heels. With the beast seemingly stunned the world champion takes off to the ropes. She leaps onto the third cable and throws herself back with a cross body block! But Faqu easily catches her inside his arms. COLE Oh no! Without waiting any more moments Faqu spins Krista out and brutally slams her against the canvas. The fans shriek with horror as their heroine clutches her now sore back. The burly hulk of a man stomps around roaring with passion at the booing and hissing crowd. COACH I think Krista’s learning a valuable lesson here , the competition steps up huge when the world title is at stake. There’s not going to be any easy victories now. Faqu grabs Krista by her golden hair and shoves her into the corner. As the crowd chants her name, she’s assailed by a torrent of overhand chops by Faqu. They come with such deadly power that they sink her to the ground. She can do nothing more then roll herself into a ball as Faqu’s bare feet angrily stomp away at her. “KRISTA! KRISTA1 KRISTA!” the sold out audience chants as their heroine is moved upright. Taking some inspiration from their love, Krista drives her heels into Faqu’s feet. This anguish breaks his hold and Krista is allowed to charge into the ropes. But she’s struck down by a lunging kick from the challenger. She rolls over in obvious pain as the beast snarls at the audience. Faqu turns his attention away from the audience and back to Krista, to whom he delivers a painful kick to the small of her back. Krista hollers out in pain, which leads Faqu to spew forth a mighty roar. He brings her up by her arm once and then throws her into the corner. The impact of the attack is so strong it throws Krista to the ground. She doesn’t stay grounded for very long however as her opponent traps her with a nerve pinch. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” the audience sings, Krista finds the strength needed to work her way upright. But that painful move is met with an even more painful strike to back of her legs to keep her grounded. With desperation controlling her every move, Krista reaches out and grabs hold of the ropes. This does not please Faqu at all as he grabs her from the cables. Yelling at the top of his lungs he flings her into steel ring posts. Anguish fills her body as he pulls her out the posts and clamps down on her with an arm bar. COLE Landon Maddix has to be somewhere backstage loving how this match is unfolding. Krista tries to slip her way free of the monster’s deadly grip. However all this does is enrage Faqu and the world champion is slammed down onto the canvas. He throws another piercing shriek into the air before coming down on Krista with a body splash! COACH Krista’s agent has to be pissed off right now! You don’t see Nicole Kidman out there getting body splashed by John Goodman. Clutching her badly injured midsection Miss California rolls out the ring and onto the apron in hopes of catching a breather from the relentless assault. But those hopes are dashed the moment the fearsome islander comes charging for her. Readying herself for his arrival she springs off the top rope and tags Faqu with a swanton press! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” But Faqu is quick to return to his feet and throws an angered roar from his throat. He then leaps towards Krista with a leg drop, but Krista raises her legs and her spiked heels impair his bottom! COLE If that had hit its target that could’ve been the end of Krista’s title run and her career in the OAOAST! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” the fans shout as Krista bounces herself off the ropes. She nears Faqu and leaps with her arm outstretched to his head and brings him down face first with a face crusher. Krista then runs the ropes once more, but her attack is mercilessly stifled by a lunging throat thrust from the Samoan. COLE Vintage Faqu! Faqu pulls Krista up by her arm and uses that grip to throw her into the ropes. He waits behind, arms raised to crush Krista on her return. But the world champion foils his plans by springboarding off the ropes and bringing down the giant with a moonsault press. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” the fans chant as Krista wails on the now standing Faqu with inside leg kicks. Pained by her succession of strikes Faqu shoves the fitness queen into the ropes. Instead of coming back, however, she wows Faqu with tried and sexy hanging upside on the ropes. Taking advantage of Faqu’s stunned and stupefied state, Krista leaps upward and drives a knee directly into Faqu’s chin. The fans explode with glee as it finally seems Krista is starting to gain the upper hand in the contest. However her advantage is short lived all thanks to Faqu whipping her across the ring into the corner posts. His charge towards her is halted by a super hot boobie shimmy. COLE Like finding ripe coconuts in an island grotto! And once again his stupor proves deadly as the world champion strikes him in the face with another violent knee strike. Unable to bring Faqu down with a simple but deadly strike, Krista coils her arms around his next to teach him that blond’s never pay a cover. But the fearsome islander avoids such a deadly attack by shoving her into the corner. He then snorts like a wild boar before rushing in to flatten Krista. But the fitness queen slides out the way and Faqu collides with the ring posts. As he staggers backwards besieged by confusion and pain she carries herself to the top rope. With the fans roaring behind her, she dismounts her perch with a corckscrew moonsault press that topples the huge islander! “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” the OAOAST Marks celebrate as Krista hooks the leg for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! But Faqu powers his way out the pin. COLE Faqu using all the power in his gigantic body to get out of that one! Champion and challenger slowly rise to their feet. Anger fills out Faqu’s face, while exhaustion flood’s Krista’s. Because of her tired state the walk of famer is easily lifted onto Faqu’s shoulders and dropped backwards into Samoan drop! Faqu then hooks her ten million dollar legs for a crucial pinfall…. ONE! TWO! The crowd rejoices as Krista kicks out at the last possible second! Faqu is noticeably angry, and roars with primal fury as he pulls Krista up by her golden hair. His arms trap hers in a double underhook, and next he hauls into the air for the Death By Samoan! But midway through the move, Krista counters with the always deadly KIDology! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE She nailed it from out of nowhere! A pin follows and the audience counts along! CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! COLE The first successful title defense for Krista Isadora Duncan! COACH A successful defense of a title she stole from an honest man! A little tired and a lot sore, Krista graciously accepts her world title from the referee. She smiles her beauty pageant smile to her adoring fans and holds up the belt for all to see. BUFFER Your winner as a result of pinfall, still world champion…..KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAAAAAAAAN! The crowd cheers come crashing to a halt, when Christian Wright rushes into the ring. Like a thief in the night he tries to take hold of Krista’s belt. But Krista catches his attempted burglary and wallops him in the face with her world title! Wright stumbles about the ring, vision blurred by the brutal attack. This allows Krista to easily nail him with the KIDology! “YEAAAAAAAA!” Krista celebrates her first victory with a nice martini and a little pose over CW’s fallen body, while the audience chants her name. FADE OUT

SCHOOL'S OUT 2009 ZACK MALIBU VS LEON RODEZ The crowd roars as Zack brings Leon up and hurls him against the guardrail, then delievers a few right hands for good measure! Leon fights back, trying to tackle Zack to the ground, but Zack hangs on and tries to deliver knees to his foe, only to have Leon toss him overhead **** Zack quickly goes for School's Out, but Leon snares Zack foot before it can connect with his face! Rodez smirks, but that moment of confidence is his downfall as Zack hops up and cracks him with his free leg! The enzugiri rattles Rodez and frees Zack, who hits the ropes and comes off with a ZACK ATTACK...only to be dropkicked out of the air by Leon! **** A wild-eyed Zack charges in once more, but this time Leon beats him for speed, tripping Zack up and looking for the LIONTAMER! ***** Zack suddenly comes to life though, switching behind Leon and executing a GERMAN SUPLEX! He hangs onto the waist and rolls Leon through, stunned at the sudden turn of events. And a SECOND GERMAN isn't far behind! Zack rolls through with Leon again and goes for the third rolling german. **** Dragging Zack up again, Leon quickly hooks him up with a BRAINBUSTER!! He hooks both legs... **** Zack scales the ropes as fast as his weakened body will carry him and stands on the top rope, looking down at Leon. He takes off and tumbles with his challenger's patented 450 SPLASH... BUT FINDS NOBODY HOME!!! **** Measuring him again, Leon takes a step back. With a quick 180, he then NAILS Zack with a Rolling Sobat kick, right to the HEAD, causing Zack to slump unconsciously to the canvas!!! **** Realisation sets in for the crowd too and they show their disgust as Leon is confirmed as the winner. Still sat in the centre of the ring, Leon reaches up and SNATCHES the World Title belt away from referee Nick Patrick, holding it in front of his face. No smile appears, no sign of any happiness. Just defiant victory. **** Give me those bright lights, long nights High rise, over time "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE WHAT?! Give me them bright lights, long nights Party till the sun is rising High rise, over time Working till the moon is shining Hot guys, fly girls Never thought I'd say I feel on top of the world I feel on top of the world Hey The crowd go WILD as Leon watches confused for the return appearance of KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN. And his face slowly sinks into resignment when he notices a third referee tracking her to the ring. COACH What the hell is this about!? COLE Is this what I think it is!? Krista marches right past Zack on her way down the aisle, setting her briefcase under the ropes and sliding into the ring, to be immediately jumped by stomps from Leon! **** Circling around in pain, Leon's pain isn't over as Krista retrieves her briefcase AND CLOCKS LEON RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES!!!!!! *THUD!* Leon falls chest-first into the ropes, which bounce him back, right into KIDOLOGY!!!!!!!!!! **** BUFFER LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HISTORY HAS BEEN MADE HERE TONIGHT... YOUR BRAND NEW OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, IS KRISTA IIISSSSAAAAADDOOOORRRRAAAAA... DDUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAANN!!!!!! "YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" The referee picks the OAOAST World Title belt up off of the mat and hands it over to Krista, nearly causing the roof to be blown off! Krista plays it cool and shrugs her shoulders, as if wondering why people think winning a World Title is so hard. PRESENTED IN HD FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-

Backstage, ZACK MALIBU and BOHEMOTH are having a friendly chat, but we don't get to find out what about, as ANGLESAULT arrives on the scene. ANGLESAULT What are you doing? MALIBU Talking. ANGLESAULT No, I mean what are you doing HERE? I didn't book you tonight. I told you to take a week to relax. MALIBU I don't need to relax, 'Sault. I need to do my job. ANGLESAULT Then maybe you should try doing it better. Bo doesn't like Anglesault's tone, and tries to step in, but Malibu backs him off. MALIBU I got this, Bo. Bohemoth gives Anglesault a glare, but then walks off, leaving the two OAOAST legends to themselves. MALIBU What's your problem with me lately? ANGLESAULT My problem? I'm not the one with the problem, Zack, YOU ARE. I told, I TOLD YOU that there's something with you nowadays. You've grown complacent and content with what you are, and that has made you lose whatever drive, whatever killer instinct you once had! Jesus Christ Zack, Leon Rodez stabbed you in the back and made a fool out of you, and you still...you STILL considered showing mercy? MALIBU What I do is my business, 'Sault. ANGLESAULT No, what you do is MY BUSINESS, and in more ways than one. Because on the friendship level, I don't want to see you be taken advantage of. I want to see you become stronger, become the Old Zack. And in the business sense, this is ESPECIALLY my business because it involves my company, and you, the man who calls himself the Franchise, but I'm starting to doubt that very much! MALIBU You're starting to doubt me? Let me tell you something... ANGLESAULT No, Zack, just no. Save it, because I'm tired of the excuses. If you're content with being the second best, with being a steppingstone to every god damn person that wants to make a name for themself, then you do it. However, you are NOT going to do it on my watch, and you are not going to do it to this company. Do you even realize who you are any more? Do you realize what being Zack Malibu means? Because right now the person who is coasting by on your name is you yourself! You're so content with just being Zack Malibu that you've lost focus and ceased effort. Things get personal and you build up that wall, the whole respect deal and the primal rage of Zack Malibu emerges...and then it falters. It doesn't stick, Zack. You're losing your touch, Zack, and you have to get it back. MALIBU And I suppose you're telling me this as my friend? ANGLESAULT You're damn right I am. I'm trying to bring you back to life, Zack. I'm not a miracle worker though. I want you to meet me halfway here. I want you to get that edge back. Take it all into consideration, Zack. The way you felt when the original In Crowd betrayed you. The way you felt when Popick had it out for you. The way you felt when you got beat by Crystal. The way you felt, Zack, when Bruce Blank and the Wildcards forced their way into your house and scared the hell out of your newborn. You know what the sum of those parts will be, Zack? I guarantee you it will be a Zack Malibu like no other before. One that can't be stopped, and one that can reign on the top of the OAOAST mountain forever. Now you go home, you take a few days, and you think about it. That's what's best right now. Anglesault gives Zack a half-hearted smile, then pats him on the shoulder before walking off. Zack looks at the ground, then tilts his head up, the camera catching a very telling stare as we fade out

In the hallways of the arena Jade Rodez-Duncan sits close to tears, being comforted by her burly boyfriend, Bohemoth. JADE I just hate seeing him so... so hurt and so broken up. I didn't go there for my sake, I went for him, honest. I just can't believe he'd think that about me. BOHEMOTH I know, I know. I'm gonna go sort him out. As Bo starts to march off, Jade jumps out of her seat and holds her arm out in his path to stop him. JADE NO! BOHEMOTH Jade, he needs sorting out. He can't talk the way he did to you and get away with it, he needs some sense beating into him. JADE No, please Bo, don't. He doesn't know what he's saying at the moment, he's just angry and he's suffering. This isn't Leon, it's just not him. It's not his fault. He needs our help. He doesn't need anymore problems. Please, don't do anything. Relenting, Bo stands down. BOHEMOTH Fine. But something's gotta be said. First Zack and now you, it ain't right and you know it. I need to have it out with him sooner or later. JADE Promise me you won't hurt him. BOHEMOTH Listen, I can't promise anything. JADE You've got to. You don't understand, what we've got is one thing but... he's my family. Tell me you understand. A little evasive Bo seems to shrug, but Jade is insistant and makes Bo look her in the eyes. JADE If you love me, you'll promise not to hurt him. After a few seconds eye to eye, Bohemoth finally gives in and pecks Jade on the cheek. BOHEMOTH Fine. JADE Thank you. Bohemoth wraps a comfoting arm around Jade shoulder and walks her off, still not looking completely convinced. COMMERCIAL

OAOAST HeldDOWN is brought to you by Morgan Nerdly for....I don't know what the hell this is! “Protect Your Mind” by DJ Sakin & Friends cues and the Last Kings of Scotland march to the ring. BUFFER The following tag team event is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied by QUEEN ESTHER! Hailing from Glasgow, Scotland, at a total combine weight of 430 pounds, Europe’s finest athletes… DANNY BOY and “THE BRAVEHEART” SCOTTISH SCOTT… THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" “Scream” by Chris Cornell hits and the Orange County Cobras head down the aisle slapping hands. BUFFER And their opponents, accompanied by MOLLY NERDLY! From the O.C., total combine weight of 460 pounds, the 2009 Anderson Cup champions… SIMON SINGLETON and NED BLANCHARD... THE ORANGE COUNTY COOOOBRAS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COLE It was just this past week at School’s Out that the Orange County Cobras nearly captured their fourth tag title, but it was not to be thanks to interference from V.I.C.E. and the LDC Moneygang. COACH Excuses, excuses, excuses. You’re just full of them. * DINGDINGDING * The Handsome Hustler and Scottish Scott lockup at the sound of the bell, and Ned is doubled over with a knee to the gut. Scott whips Ned into the ropes but telegraphs a backdrop and Ned lands a kick, followed by a back elbow. Into the knee of Simon goes the Braveheart, and then for the ride as the O.C. Cobras execute a DOUBLE FEATURE FLAPJACK! New legal man Simon Singleton makes the cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Simon slams Scott mid-ring and heads up top, prompting Danny Boy to march over…AND GET DRILLED BY A FLYING CLOTHESLINE! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Molly keeps close tabs on Queen Esther as Simon takes to the air once more, this time a SPRINGBOARD CLOTHESLINE…BUT SCOTT HEADBUTTS HIM IN THE CHEST!! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Scott pounds his chest in satisfaction, then puts the boots to Simon and rams him into the buckle. Danny Boy receives the tag and tees off from the middle rope, his kilt placed over Simon’s head. COLE How insulting! COACH Remember that next time Los Diablos de Fuego commit an aggravated sexual assault in the ring. Following a PUMPHANDLE FALLAWAY SLAM, Danny places his foot on Simon’s chest and plays air bagpipes while the count is made. COLE That isn’t going to get it done, believe me. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Simon escapes an attempted scoop slam and executes a back suplex! Then without hesitation he rolls over to his corner and tags Ned! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" A big roundhouse floors Danny and rocks Scott, who is then fired off and back body dropped. Big clothesline sends him over the rope, leaving Ned alone with Danny Boy. The Irishman begs off but is shown no mercy by the Orange County Cobra. Hammered in the corner, Danny is whipped across and nailed by a standing dropkick from Simon as Ned drops down. COACH Come on, referee! It’s 2 on 1 in there. Do your job! Queen Esther frantically motions to the back as Ned hits THE SLINGSHOT SUPLEX! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The cover. ONE! TWO! THR-- NO, THE MARDI GRAS HELLFIRE CLUB BREAKUP THE PIN!! * DINGDINGDING * Scott yanks Simon down from the apron and whips him into the guardrail, then grabs his SPIKED CLUB and returns inside. Rico, Lucius and Danny all do a number on Ned before holding him up for Scott. COLE Oh, no, we’ve seen the damage caused by that damn club. COACH Ned won’t be the Handsome Hustler by the end of tonight, Cole. Instead he’ll be the Ugly Hustler! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" SCOTT/DANNY/RICO/LUCIUS All the Queen’s Men hightail it as THE CITIZEN SOLDIERS hit the ring. COLE Baron Windels and Tim Cash have come to even the odds! Molly helps Simon into the ring as the O.C. Cobras and Citizen Soldiers stand tall. COACH What is this, the mutual admiration society? COLE There’s a lot of respect there, no question about it. And luckily there is because otherwise it wouldn’t be a pretty scene out here right now. Scottish Scott was ready to tee off on Ned’s head. COACH Headless Ned? Heh, that has a nice ring to it. COLE Ugh! Elsewhere Theodore Moneymaker has returned to his troubled pacing around The Enterprise dressing room. Timidly entering the room is Spencer Reiger, holding an ice pack to his head. MONEYMAKER Where is it? REIGER Not here. MONEYMAKER I can see that! I have eyes! What in the hell happened? REIGER She's the one woman that can resist the SR charm. Get Christian to do it, I need a nap. Reiger plops down on his comfy leather sofa while his boss fumes over the repeated failings. COMMERCIAL

COLE We understand that our broadcast colleague Josh Matthews is standing by, ready to try and talk to Leon Rodez. Hopefully we can get that interview this time, take it away Josh. As earlier, we find Leon sat in his secluded corner of the backstage area and a little more receptive to an interview who hasn't broken his heart. Josh stands over him, Leon staring the other way at the wall. MATTHEWS Leon, if we could, I'd like to get your thoughts on what happened this past Sunday at School's Out. LEON I'm not angry. And I'm not surprised. All I am... is numb. Leon glances over. LEON I told everybody what I was setting out to do this past Sunday. My goal was to take away from Zack what he had taken from me. To make him suffer the same pain that he's forced me to suffer. And I did that. I ran over that moment in my head a hundred times. Over and over again. And deep down, every time that thought ran through my mind, I knew in the back of my mind that I was going to pay. Pay for what I was going to do for Zack. And pay for my success. I just didn't expect it to be so soon... Scowling, Leon runs his hands through his hair. LEON But the source? That's no surprise to me. Because Krista Isadora Duncan is everything that's wrong with life. She epitomises how unfair life is. How someone can deserve nothing and get everything they desire. I've suffered thanks to Krista before, so I can't say I'm surprised that she's the source of my suffering now. But Krista needs to realise one thing. In my life, for every moment of pleasure, there must be one of pain. That moment, that brief moment of pleasure when I looked down at Zack being carried from the ring... that's the one moment of happiness I have to cling to from this entire sorry year. All the bad and all the wrong that's been dealt me on one hand, what I did to Zack on the other. Well, Krista, I feel that pain again now. And I'll feel this pain time and time again like I have for months. But that moment of pleasure at YOUR expense... it will be worth all the pain in the world to me. You deserve your taste of bad karma, perhaps more than anyone else. And I... Leon trails off and his head sinks down into his shoulders. The reason being the appearance of Jade Rodez-Duncan, wearing a worried expression on her face. She kneels down next to her uncle, who flinches wishing she wasn't so close. JADE We need to talk. LEON No we don't. JADE Yes... yes we do Leon. This isn't right and I can't bear seeing you like this anymore, you have to talk to somebody about this. You're depressed and you need... LEON I don't need to talk. Least of all to you. You're the absolute last person I want to see right now, so why don't you just leave me alone? JADE Because I'm worried about you! Leon slowly looks up and chuckles under his breath. LEON Why the sudden change of heart? JADE What... Leon, please, stop this... LEON Why don't you just run along and go celebrate with Mommy? That's where you'd rather be. It's where you've been the past year, right? You didn't care about me then. I don't need you pretending to give a damn about me now, just to sooth your conscience. Standing up, Leon walks off and leaves his niece behind close to tears. We cut back to the Enterprise dressing room, where Mister Moneymaker's fretting has been replaced by Lorelei DeCenzo's tight glare, and Morgan's puppy dog face. No need for pictures because you know what they all look like! LORELEI I do not much care for being left unconscious on a dressing room. I find it frightening, distasteful and above all an assault on my character. MORGAN I know. I'm sorry I wasn't there to help. Is that what you want? I'll own it, it was my fault. LORELEI No it wasn't your fault it happened. MORGAN If you'll just....it wasn't my fault? LORELEI You can't be two places at once. What is your fault is why haven't the people responsible been caught and brought to justice. I thought you were an inspector, I thought this was your job. You've lost you're edge. And its all because of the doctors. You've had so many hospitalizations, treatments, medicines, therapist, that you've totally lost the real you. You're becoming a twisted perverted version of everyone else. What is your exact diagnosis. MORGAN Major depression, ptsd and psychotic tendencies. LORELEI What psychotic tendencies? MORGAN I...I...don't want to say. LORELEI Do you have homicidal thoughts? Suicidal thoughts? What about post traumatic stress syndrome, what happened in your life to screw you up so bad? MORGAN I...please stop. LORELEI It hurts doesn't it? That's because they're trying to make you into something you're not. A copy of them. But they'll never accept you, you've been branded a freak and a monster. A sociopath with child like tendencies, isn't that right? MORGAN Someone said...I have the mind...of a child. Can we stop talking about this? LORELEI We're talking about who you really are? What does the real Morgan want to do to the person that harmed me? MORGAN I want to hurt them. LORELEI How bad. MORGAN I want to hurt them till their vocal chords collapse from screaming after being in so much pain. I want to watch their eyes as they crumble physically in my hands. I want to make them suffer like I suffer everyday. LORELEI And so you shall. Throw away your pills, quit playing their game, and become the real Morgan. Become a monster. We fade out on Morgan pondering Lori's advice. COMMERCIAL

I am a Real American Dick! Exploding on the face of every woman! I am Real American Dick! Suck on my balls, till I cum like Niagara falls! When I come crashing down and its throbbing deep inside I’ll leave you wetter than a flood tide I gotta bend you over that’s how I like to ride! I date a girl who whips my hide And my 12 inches is my greatest pride I am a Real American Dick! Exploding on the face of every woman! I am Real American Dick! Suck on my balls, till I cum like Niagara falls! "Womanizer" kicks in and through the impressive golden shower of pyro emerge the most x-rated couple in professional wrestling today, Malaysia Nerdly and of course Mister Dick. As well as the golden sparks, boos rain down on Mister Dick as he takes off his glittering white cowboy hat and holds it underneath himself and Malaysia to catch any of the stray spit they start swapping. For good measure he hocks a big loogie into the hat, which Malaysia places her face inside seconds later. COLE Ew. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, from San Antonio, Texas... weighing two hundred, thirty eight pounds. Accompanied to the ring by MALAYSIA NERDLY and representing The Deadly Alliance... MMMIIIIIISSSSSSSTTEEEEEERRRRRRRR... DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" BUFFER And in the ring, from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, two hundred nine pounds, MARCUS WALKER! The enhancement raises his fist to the crowd while Mister Dick slides into the ring and starts to feverishly pound his crotch into the canvas, paying no attention to his opponent. COLE Mister Dick has been in a bad mood, worse than usual that is, since missing out on being involved in this past Sunday's School's Out. But I guess all is right with the world now, having helped Reject capture Money In The Bank. COACH Yeah but I still think Mr. Dick's got some unfinished business with Denzel Spencer. *DINGDINGDING!* Mr. Dick rushes his opponent in the corner with kicks and stomps, working him down into the turnbuckles. Pinning his throat on the bottom rope, Mr. Dick then pushes up on the ropes, choking Walker to the referee's count of four. Satisfied with his work, Mr. Dick strolls all the way over to his corner for some more attention from Malaysia. COACH Isn't it refreshing to see true love flowering before your eyes? After some smooches, Mr. Dick is pointed back to the action by his authorative ladyfriend. Mr. Dick grabs Walker as he comes out of the corner, scooping and slamming him in the middle of the ring. And he enjoyed it so much, he decides to do it again. On the third scoop slam, he makes a lazy cover while giving Malaysia a good look at his rippling abs... 1... 2... Kickout. Not concerned with the kickout at all, Mr. Dick's gaze stays on Malaysia and he crawls across the ring for another kiss. COACH You know, I wouldn't stay in a bad mood long either if I had Malaysia. COLE If you had Malaysia, you'd be hospitalised within a week. COACH Yeah, but it'd be worth it. Whipping Walker to the ropes, Mister Dick knocks him down with a clothesline, all very routine for The Human Hard On. The fans start to get on his back and he gives as good as he gets, shouting abuse from over the ropes. Unbeknownest to MD, his inexperienced opponent is getting back up and his eyes widen as he spots an opportunity. Malaysia tries to warn her man, but before he knows what's happening, Mr. Dick has been pulled down with a schoolboy rollup! COLE WAIT A MINUTE! 1... 2... KICKOUT! COLE Oh my, Mister Dick almost got shocked right there!! That cocksure attitude almost cost him again, if he thought what happened with Denzel was embarrassing, he nearly topped that tonight! Flustered, Mister Dick gets back up and is met with a combination of right hands from Walker, getting the crowd excited. Walker hits the ropes and has the presence of mind to duck a Dick clothesline. But Mister Dick has had enough at this point and DESTROYS his opponent coming back off the ropes with a STIFF KICK!!!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH OH what a kick! COLE I think Mister Dick is finally paying attention. Suddenly Mr. Dick is all business, dragging the nobody who almost embarrassed him to his feet. He slaps Walker around a little, before jarring him with an inverted atomic drop. Hitting the ropes Mr. Dick shows more intensity with a Clothesline From Hell, mowing Walker down! COLE There's the Cock Shock and that should avoid the shock upset, but it could have been very different. Mister Dick drags what's left of Walker up again. Lifting him onto his shoulders, Mr. Dick hits the COCK BLOCK and forces Walker down with a disgruntled pin... 1... 2... 3!!! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... MMIIIIIISSSSSTTEEEERRRR... DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Still scowling, Mister Dick looks almost embarrassed at what happened. Not even offering any physical contact for Malaysia, he storms out of the ring and gets into another arguement with some fans on his way to the back. COLE Clearly Mister Dick hasn't learnt the lessons that Denzel Spencer should have taught him. Maybe now, Mister Dick will start taking his opponents a little more seriously? COACH Why? COLE Why!? Coach, he could have gotten beat again tonight! COACH You want to know why Mister Dick's angry? Because he's the premier athlete in the world and he's sick of people getting by on flukes. This guy tonight? Would have been nothing but a fluke. Just like Denzel Spencer was nothing but a fluke. He's no match for Mister Dick, he just got lucky. And Mister Dick hates people who rely on luck. COLE You can put a positive spin on it all you want, but you don't win matches on paper or by tales of the tape, you win them in the ring. Maybe Mister Dick ought to learn that, instead of whining and crying when somebody like Denzel Spencer beats him fair and square? We cut backstage where Mister Theodore Moneymaker is still pacing in the dressing room, as annoyed and frantic as ever. His hopes don't rise any when CMJ strolls into the room with a bloody nose. MONEYMAKER Well, where’s the title? CMJ Imprinted on my fahhead. She went and wacked me. MONEYMAKER Damn it all to hell! I own that woman, that is no joke. I didn’t pay millions to continually be made to look like an incompetent ass! I may be the minority owner in FIT With KID but I won’t be minimalized! Spencer! Half asleep on the leather couch, Spencer Reiger barely finds it in himself to appear interested. MONEYMAKER I want that world title. I want it as symbol of our new found unity, to retrieve it she must accept me as her... REIGER Yeah, yeah, I'll get it, no problem. She may be a lesbian, but nobody can resist the SR charm. Much more confident than his boss, Mister Reiger exits the room with a cocky strut. COMMERCIAL

Backstage in the pricey high real estate dressing room of The Enterprise, Theodore Moneymaker paces around the room, while CMJ admires his many tattoos. MONEYMAKER We are bringing that woman down! CMJ She made ya look like a chowdahead. MONEYMAKER I know that! I know what she did! And she won’t do it again! I am nobody’s fool. Nobody’s fool! You are going to go find her, and you are going to go swipe that belt from around her waist. We are going to keep that belt until she learns to play team ball! CMJ She gots a mahtch wit Faqu MONEYMAKER Screw Faqu! I own 30% of her ass, and I’m going to make sure she damn well knows that! Moneymaker storms off with CMJ left with his mission. COLE Major changes here in the OAOAST and an unprecedented situation, TWO former World Champions off the back of this past Sunday night. And right now we're going to take you backstage and get some comments from a man who... well, who knows how he must be feeling right now, Leon Rodez. Backstage we go and in an unfortunate piece of staff management, we find Maggie Nerdly with microphone in hand. MAGGIE Uhm, thanks Michael. I'm gonna try and get a few words with the former World Champion, although I'm not sure he's gonna be in a talky mood. After a clear moment's hesitation, Maggie moves around a stack of metal pipes to a lonely and isolated part of the arena, literally the far corner. Sat there on the floor is Leon Rodez. Glancing up, Leon notices who's appeared in front of him and immediately he lowers his head with a snarl on his face. MAGGIE Leon? Staring straight ahead, Leon doesn't acknowledge his former girlfriend at all. MAGGIE Leon... it's Maggie, I need to get an interview with you. Still no answer and Maggie looks worried. Carefully she starts to approach Leon, when suddenly he looks up. LEON Haven't you done enough? MAGGIE I'm... just here to do an interview. It's my job, I'm sorry... LEON You're 'sorry'. You're 'sorry'? No, you're not sorry. You're pitiful. You're feeling sorry for yourself, because you look at me and you wonder what you did wrong, because everything is about you, isn't it? Needy. That's your problem. You're needy. If the world doesn't revolve around you then it doesn't matter. Well I realise now just how pathetic you really are. All the time we were together, you didn't give a crap about me, just about how I made you feel. Heh... You're an attention whore, as well as an actual whore. Get the hell out of my sight. Gasping, Maggie can't quite believe how Leon can be so cruel. She tries to say something back, but feeling herself well up, she covers her mouth and scuttles off sobbing. Leon watches with a contemptful look before lowering his head again. COLE Er... well, unfortunately it... looks like we won't have that interview for you right now. We apologise for that, something we clearly didn't need to see. Poor Maggie. COACH Poor Maggie? Poor Leon more like. COMMERCIAL

We cut to a graphic stating what we're watching is "EARLIER TODAY". A black SUV comes zooming into the parking lot, and as the door opens we see the former World Champion, ZACK MALIBU exit his vehicle. Malibu goes around the back and grabs his gym bag, then heads for the arena. A group of fans notice the OAOAST Franchise heading in and start to mob him, but the normally accomodating Zack walks past them all and into the arena. Some of the fans start booing as Zack walks past without so much as acknowledging any of them, including the younger fans, who can do nothing but watch as the door slams shut after Zack enters the building. Backstage, Tony Brannigan is joined by V.I.C.E. BRANNIGAN The action continues in a moment. But right now I’d like to question Detective Tango Bosley and CPA regarding their involvement this past Sunday night at School’s Out during the tag team title match between Team Heyross and the Orange County Cobras. BOSLEY We agreed to an interview, not an interrogation. CPA Yeah, man, you think we’re criminals? Because only them dirt bags get questioned. Me and Boz, we’re a couple of good guys. BOSLEY And we got video proof too. Roll it~! School's Out Courtesy: OAOAST Home Entertainment BOSLEY We saved Team Heyross the tag team championship. You think they’d be grateful, but NOOOOOO! Not even so much as a “thank you” tweet on their Twitter accounts. Don’t they know no good deed is supposed to go unpunished? CPA Now we’re mad. Real mad. Ain’t nobody gonna disrespect us like that and get away with it. So we’re dropping a challenge to Moss and Benjamin. Anytime, anywhere. Pick the date and don’t be late. BOSLEY I told you, man, it won’t be that simple. We’re gonna have to make it non-title. They’re gonna be scared about losing the straps, a sure thing against us. But hey, since it’s all about teaching them respect, it‘s a win-win. Am I right? CPA Not just right, but right on. BOSLEY YEAH! THEN COME GET YOU SOME TEAM HEYROSS! We cut away to… TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT OAOAST WORLD TITLE FAQU VS KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN TONIGHT! COMMERCIAL

We're taken to the center of the ring where Mister Michael Buffer stands at the ready! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the NEW OAOAST WORLD CHAMPION, KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAAAAAAAAAAN! Gimme them bright lights, long nights High rise, overtime Gimme them bright lights, long nights Party till the sun is rising High rise, overtime Working 'till the moon is shining Hot guys, fly girls Never gonna say it I feel on top of the world, I feel on top of the world Hey! A gigantic standing ovation welcomes the brand new world champion, outfitted in a crinkle blouse mixing spicy purple and iris blue along with bell bottomed jeans from Diane von Furstenberg. Also there is the OAOAST world title, with Krista casually carries along as if it were just another piece of her ensemble. KRISTA COLE Krista Isadora Duncan’s amazing career had its keynote moment this past Sunday when she cashed in her money in the bank contract to swipe the world title right out of Leon Rodez’s hands! It took four years just for someone to beat Krista, how long could she hold onto the title? Krista enters the ring and is handed a microphone. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” KRISTA Mister Buffer I love you because you’re one of the few people who didn’t try to grab my ass at the Christmas party. But your introduction was lacking some vital facets of information. Let me show you how its done Ladies and gentlemen please welcome the first ever Jewish, lesbian, blond haired, Lakers season ticket holding, Californian, single mother, Best Buy RewardZone member, secret Trekkie, world champion….moi! “YEAAAAAAA!” KRISTA By the way that Best Buy reward zone card is just great. Its nice to know after I spend a hundred dollars on dvds and games my daughters will never use I’ll be able to get a coupon for five dollars off a 2000 dollar flat screen, thanks Best Buy! COLE I happen to use rocks and twigs to entertain myself. KRISTA When I woke up on Sunday, my first thought wasn’t to cashing in my money in the bank contract; actually my first thought was how drunk did I get last night in order to wake up in this bondage dungeon chained to two hairy Vietnamese guys. Even when the police kindly escorted me back to my hotel room after kindly not questioning me about the dead body wrapped in duct tape on the dungeon floor, I didn’t think about cashing in my contract. Why I didn’t even remember I had the contract until I needed something to throw at Terry’s head and had to chose between a table lamp and the briefcase. The lamp is tired and clichéd and I think he’s developed some kind of immunity so I picked the briefcase. After waking up from being knocked out, and having paramedics stopping his internal bleeding, Terry told me I had to cash in before my contract run out. After I had security escort him from my room and beat him in the hallway for telling me what to do., I thought maybe Terry was right. But I couldn’t possibly cash it in on Zack. He’s The Franchise like Ronald McDonald, or that weird purple retarded guy that always tags along with him. I couldn’t do that to Zack I li-li-li-liiiiiiikeeee ….I don’t hate Zack! And I’m sorry for his loss. But I’ll tell you who do I hate. I hate Jimmy Fallon, I think his jokes are simple and stale and he looks kind of like a mole rat. I’ll tell you who I also hate and that’s Leon Rodez! “LEON SUCK! LEON SUCKS! LEON SUCKS!” KRISTA As some his earlier adult films would attest to, he sucks quite a bit and loves every flamingly gay minute of it. Good for him, I say, jolly good for him! Our good pal Leon had a reputation as a good guy, happy go-lucky, and everybody’s friend. Everybody’s except Krista. People would ask me “Why don’t you like Leon?” as if liking Leon was a prerequisite to using oxygen on this planet. “You have to give Leon a chance.” No, I’ve never given my arms being sawed off a chance and I know I don’t like that. Do you know why I never liked Leon? I never much cared for him because he was fraud. I knew his whole nice guy act was as authentic as Milli Vanlilli. I grew up in a political family; I could spot a liar in the next solar system. Trust me, everyone, no one is that happy, no one is that cheerful, well except maybe Carrot Top but he’s weird anyway. I’m sorry to say people just aren’t like that. They’re cruel souls wrapped in a cloak of malice and evil. Leon just hid his sick ways better than the rest of us. Fortunately, when he was at his worst I was at my best. I was right there to cut him up, drag him down, and tear his little world apart. Kind of like the IRS in a way. Regardless, its great to be your world champion, it falls somewhere behind making a robot out of tin cans in 3rd grade on my list of great achievements. Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste I've been around for a long, long year Stole many a man's soul and faith And I was 'round when Jesus Christ Had his moment of doubt and pain Made damn sure that Pilate Washed his hands and sealed his fate Pleased to meet you Hope you guess my name But what's puzzling you Is the nature of my game “BOOOOOOOO!” What would Krista’s first promo as champion be without Theodore Moneymaker interrupting it? It wouldn’t be complete at all! Wearing a pinstriped suit and an unusually cheerful smile, the messiah walks himself into hostile territory. KRISTA I see they opened the gate to hell earlier than usual. COLE We should’ve expected this. Anytime something good is given to Krista, Theodore Moneymaker is right there to take it away. COACH Everything Mister Moneymaker does he does for the greater good of the OAOAST Marks. Krista fights back her strong urges to attack Moneymaker on sight, and allows him into the ring. “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” MONEYMAKER Krista, above all else, I want to take this moment in history to offer you congratulations. You deserve it more than any champion before you. I’m a bit of a pigskin fan myself, and your title victory reminds me a lot of Peyton Manning, a good old boy with great talent, finally winning the big win and cementing his place as one of the all time greats. KRISTA I stopped understanding anything you said after “Krista”. MONEYMAKER I just want you to understand that I’m proud of you. KRISTA Are you feeling okay? Are you on some kind of new allergy medication? Shouldn’t you be lamenting my title win as damning the souls of America’s children to hell with my lesbian voodoo trickery? MONEYMAKER BWHAHAHAHAH. A great sense of humor for a great champion. Just because our lifestyles may differ doesn’t mean my heart isn’t filled with pride for you. “BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!” KRISTA On this rare occasion I’m included to agree with the crowd that consists of numerous people wearing Tony Tourettes pull my finger shirt. MONEYMAKER Krista, you could sodomize goats and I’d still be proud of you. KRISTA You’d be proud of me sodmizing goats? What? MONEYMAKER No, no, what I meant…nevermind. As an investor in TSM I am proud that a woman of your class and character represent this company and my network. Even if you are a Jew. But, most of all I’m proud to be your partner. KRISTA Honey, are you going to proposition me for sex, because if you are- MONEYMAKER Krista, I just completed the business deal of the decade. I have given to the both of us a holy matrimony in the field of the marketplace. You and I are joined in perfect union, because as of five minutes ago I own 30% of FIT with KID. KRISTA Its funny, honey, I thought you may have said you own 30% of FIT with KID, and obviously if you said that my head would’ve exploded and that hasn’t happened so it must not be what you said. MONEYMAKER No, Krista, you heard correctly. KRISTA What kind of heartless scum would sell you 30% of the company? MONEYMAKER Your mother. KRISTA Like I said, what kind of heartless scum would sell you 30% of the company? MONEYMAKER Krista, don’t you understand the brighter future we’re prepared to create for the people? Together, you and I have formed a blessed partnership touched by the gods. With your charisma and my mental abilities; together we are paving the way for a multifaceted entertainment conglomerate to take hold of this great country. Film, online media, fitness, news, as my friend Spencer Reiger likes to say “The world is our’s” This is opportunity, my dear, and its one we’d be fools not to seize. And we seize it by first remodeling your image. As I told your mother when I brokered the deal, we’re going to make you into a docile, honest, respectable; middle American icon that stands for all that’s good in this country. You and I are going to do wonderful things in the name of this great nation. KRISTA Yeah, but you hate me. And seeing that my therapist says its okay to hate, I hate you right back! In the past two years, you have put three bounties on my head, drove Alix away and nearly drugged her to death, stolen the tag titles from me, threatened my eldest daughter, called my youngest daughter the antichrist, sicked every broke bastard in the OAOAST on me, painted me as some feminazi destroyer of human life as we know it. Can’t a girl breathe? Can’t a girl get some space? Even Lex Luthor let Superman enjoy the weekend. There is no partnership, there’s no turning me into some kind of living Aunt Jemima, I don’t care what my mother told you, she’s liable to say I’m an alien spy if she’s on the right mix of Valium and Gin MONEYMAKER You have it wrong, so very wrong, Krista. Those were the old battles, ancient wars, they mean nothing now. They were unproductive, evil lines of thought and we’re tossing them out the door! A new world champion, a new partnership, calls for new thought. Here’s one for you, I love you. I think, and your mother thinks, that perhaps one day, you and I could make the ultimate husband and wife team. KRISTA Do2djo91ue9ejd2odwodwodwodjo!knveiwnichnwichichqw! MONEYMAKER Krista, I don’t mean to bring negativity into this situation, but on a basic level, if you want to simply survive as a world champion, you need the protection I can give you. You’re entering brave new territory on both fronts and you’re going to need to adapt and change. Those are the keys of life, they keep humanity on course. You can chose to adapt and survive, or you can remain rooted in your ways and die. I’ve made my choice, I’ve extended the olive branch to my once greatest rival. Do the right thing and except my kindness. Moneymaker holds his arms open for a big hug. But Krista does more than that and actually kisses him on the lips! “BOOOOOOOOO!” Suddenly Krista breaks away from the liplock and nails The Enterprise CEO with a KIDology! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Moneymaker got exactly what he deserved! Krista flips herself over the ropes to the outside, where she backs up the ramp laughing at Moneymaker’s demise. MONEYMAKER (clutching neck) Playing hard to get I see.

woah I messed up, I meant for this show to be posted on saturday

Word up sucka I have to call the opening seg and the ME seg, although if someone really,really,really needs the opener I'm flexible

First world title defense Krista Isadora Duncan Vs Faqu

The dude KC woll edit in the Mainevent when he's all finished. HD will go up on Sstaurday or Sunday to give cats time to write,