Patty O'Green

Inside the Cucaracha Internacional locker room, Landon Maddix paces around, an air of frustration about him. Black and Faqu are off at the back of the room with Megan, it's Cortez and Blonde who's attentions Landon has, sat on opposite ends of a leather couch. MADDIX That could have been us out there. Eight man tag, united as one. You think either of those teams would have been a match for us? We would have demolished them. Dominated them! Sighing, Landon stops pacing, hands on hips. MADDIX I just don't get it. We've got a good thing going... and yet, you two sign up for this 'Money In The Bank' match, meaning we can't go and flaunt our superiority and unity on Pay Per View like we should have been doing. And the first I hear about it is when I'm told, "oh no Landon, we can't fit you in for an eight man tag at School's Out, because two of you are busy already". BLONDE I'm sorry! Rolling his eyes at the apology from the every loyal Canadian, Cortez stands up. CORTEZ I didn't think you'd have a problem with it. MADDIX Well, quite clearly I do Todd. CORTEZ Look, Josie approached me about being in it because I'm the US Champion, which puts me in as a future contender for the World Title. You weren't around so I figured, why not? MADDIX And the World Title is more important to you than this, right here, us, Cucaracha Internacional? CORTEZ Honestly? Yeah. Money In The Bank worked okay for you, didn't it? Finding it hard to argue, Landon turns to Blonde. MADDIX And then when Josie came to you and said you were a top future contender, you jumped in too I suppose? BLONDE Uhm... well... yeah, that's pretty much what happened, give or take a few minor details. CORTEZ Like how you demanded to be involved when you heard I was in? BLONDE Well..... MADDIX So you specifically asked, knowing I had plans for us? BLONDE ...... MADDIX And here I thought you were the one most commited to this cause. BLONDE .......UNITY! Blurting out Landon's buzzword of the moment, Blonde's mind works overtime trying to think of a reason. BLONDE I... thought if Todd was in then I should be in too so I could watch his back... for unity. Apparantly, using the word unity worked and was enough to placate Landon, as he sits down. MADDIX Okay. Okay, I can live with that. You two work together, win the briefcase, then you've got a whole year to wait to cash in and we can go back to proving ourselves as the most dominant group in the OAOAST. In the future though, run these things by me first though, would you? This is an Internacional democracy. And, as such, I have final say. Can't just have you guys running around doing what you want, know what I mean? Todd and Blonde probably do know what Landon means, but are too busy glaring at each other behind his back to be listening. COLE A little over a week away from School's Out and the participants in the Money in the Bank ladder match have begun gearing up for that big event as the winner receives a guaranteed OAOAST Title shot. COACH And one man really looking forward to that one, even though he isn't apart of it, happens to be standing by right now with these pre-recorded comments. My good friend Theodore Moneymaker. We cut to Moneymaker in front of the Enterprise backdrop. MONEYMAKER I told everybody the OAOAST Championship would be in my possession one day. And that day will be Sunday, May 31 at School's Out. Because that night in the Big Easy another proud member of the Enterprise will go home guaranteed a shot at whoever survives the OAOAST Title match between former friends turned bitter enemies Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez. That man is Spencer Reiger! BWAHAHA! New York's Finest enters the screen arm in arm with Lorelei DeCenzo. His tag team partner Colin Maguire, Jr. at his side as well. REIGER Truer words have never been spoken. It's Money in the Bank and who's the biggest cash cow in the OAOAST? The Enterprise of course. A group I'm proud to represent and will make proud when I outwit and outlast 7 other competitors in a ladder match. Grabbing the briefcase will be the hardest part in this venture to become OAOAST Champion, because like you said Teddy, whoever survives the title match between Malibu and Rodez won't have anything to stop me from bringing home the gold. And you can put that...money...in the bank. MONEYMAKER BWAHAHA~! We fade out Moneymaker's always creepy laughter BOY BAND WARFARE D*LUX SQUARES OFF TYLER BRYANT VS SHAYNE BRAVE COMING UP NEXT COMMERCIAL

he lights dim and Los Diablos de Fuego and the Love Doctors prance onto the pink and yellow lit stage to the tune of "It's Raining Men" by Geri Halliwell. BUFFER Hailing from Chicago, Illinois, total combine weight 435 pounds, the team of DR. MAX ANDERSON and DR. STEVEN PIGLEY... THE LOOOOOOOOOVE DOCTORS!! And their partners, from beautiful, sunny Cabo San Lucas, México… a tag team muy caliente… LOS DIABLOS DE FFFFFUUUUUEEEEEEEGGOOOOOOOOOO!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" We go from cheers to jeers as "Right Round" by Flo Rida hits. BUFFER Their opponents, led to the ring by QUEEN ESTHER! Here are THE MARDI GRAS HHHEEEEELLLLFIRE CLUB and THE LAST KINGS OF SSSSSCOTLAND!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Queen Esther waves to the masses and they wave back with THE MIDDLE FINGER~! Sheltered from the outside world in her magical kingdom, the gesture flies over the head of Queen Esther, evident by her thanking members of the audience. COACH The youth of America, Cole. Depressing. COLE Be that as it may, we’re about set for 8-man tag team action. The first time we get to see the Mardi Gras Hellfire Club and Last Kings of Scotland together since forming an alliance last week. * DINGDINGDING * No threat in his view Rico lets Moracca apply a side headlock, and easily flings him across. Big man on campus, the King of Mardi Gras struts while STROKING THE ’STACHE~! Able to land on his feet the flaming luchador gives Rico a mock clap, to his disgust. They lockup and Rico throws a knee to the gut, followed by a clubbing forearm to the back and jackhammer-like double axe handle smashes. Rammed into the knee of “Sweet” Lucius Soul, Moracca is shoved into the corner as the Mardi Gras Hellfire Club. Soul unleashes an array of kicks to the body and then a backhand slap! COACH HO2SLEEP~! Whipped off, Moracca counters THE POUNCE INTO A TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER! Quick kiss to Mariachi for the tag and THE FROG SPLASH! The count. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Mariachi wrings the arm and tags Max Anderson, who delivers a SPINNING BACKFIST. He scoops Soul back up only to send him back down courtesy of a LARIAT! But instead of a pin we get a tag as the Love Doctors showcase one of their patent double-team moves… THE MORPHINE BOMB!!! COLE The team of Los Diablos de Fuego and the Love Doctors going all-out here this week. COACH Yeah, because they’re desperate for a win, Cole. A win tonight and all of a sudden both teams are back in the hunt for a tag title shot, which I still maintain belongs to the LDC Moneygang and not the Orange County Cobras. The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY RICO! Into the ropes Soul goes, but he puts on the brakes and makes sure Pigley gets a warm WELCOME TO NAWLINS! COLE Beautifully executed butterfly backbreaker right there. Off the ropes Soul lands a SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Soul rams Pigley into the buckle and tags Scottish Scott. Corner shoulder thrusts knock the air out of Pigley and almost through the top and middle turnbuckle for that matter. Sent for the ride Pigley is doubled over following a blow to the midsection, and then floored by a running knee lift. But rather than go for the pin Scottish Scott attempts a knee drop and meets canvas. Moracca receives the tag and wrenches the arm of Scott, then proceeds to sensually rub the Braveheart’s hands against his genitals! QUEEN ESTHER Outraged, Scott levels Moracca with a forearm smash. He tags Danny Boy and the Last Kings of Scotland hit a DOUBLE FLAPJACK! Always ones to pose after high impact moves, Scottish Scott clubs his chest while Danny Boy blows air bagpipes. QUEEN ESTHER (clapping) Bravo! Bravo! It’s back to business as Danny Boy scrapes Moracca off the mat and delivers a PUMPHANDLE FALLAWAY SLAM! Following a brain buster Danny whips Moracca into the corner and tags Lucius Soul who performs his signature 360 STINGER SPLASH! COACH Soul Brother Splash! That leads to another tag, and a devastating RUNNING UPPERCUT by Rico de Janeiro. A body slam follows and so too does a tag. Though it was Scottish Scott who got the tag, both Last Kings scale the buckles for a TOP ROPE DOUBLE LEGDROP!!! COLE Highlander Farewell! And that should do it. Scott makes the cover as his partners cut off the faces. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners… THE MARDI GRAS HELLFIRE CLUB and THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" All the Queen’s men pose triumphantly as the Love Doctors and Mariachi drag Moracca to safety. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" The crowd roars as the Citizen Soldiers march ringside surrounded by OAOAST officials. COLE Oh-uh. We may have ourselves a special bonus match. COACH I doubt that. Look at all the security Baron Windels and Tim Cash brought with them. They probably tipped them off to their actions to avoid a physical confrontation with all the Queen’s men. Words are exchanged but no punches are thrown as OAOAST officials do an excellent job keeping the situation under control. COLE You know the Citizen Soldiers will have their day with Queen Esther’s royal band of hell raisers. And I can’t wait. COMMERCIAL

After that loss tonight I was ready to come in here and crack heads open. But Tony writing a promo has eased my troubled mind. Tony not only have you done me a solid, but you've also saved the lives of your fellow OAOASTers.

Home of the NBA's best, The Thunder!

I BETTER HAVE SOME GOD DAMN SEGMENTS BY THE END OF THIS DAY OR I'LL CHOP YOU ALL UP! TONY WRITE A PROMO FOR TEDDY WHERE HE HYPES UP SPENCER REIGER AS WINNING THE MONEY IN THE BANK MATCH ATSO! EWC WRITE A PRL PROMO EXPLANING WHERE'S HE BEEN AND WHY HE HASN'T BEEN SEEN ON ANY SHOWS LATELY! THE REST OF YOU BETTER GET TO WORK!

Dumb it down for this simple man. You got plans? Ayo first off b suck a dick butkis, I be the king of the blumpkins. second off that meant no plans.

It interferes with plans for these nuts, b.

I wrote over half the show!

On this episode, Morgan Nerdly responds to her assault on HeldDOWN bench boss Josie Baker.

COLE Folks, we apologize, we've had some technical difficulties here...let me run things down here, a 20-man battle royal was announced to determine the 8th and final spot in the Money in the Bank match at School's Out...we are now down to seven men! We've got Mr. Dick and Thunderkid, representing the Deadly Alliance, Nathaniel Black from Cucaracha Internacional, Christian Wright of the Enterprise, Denzel Spencer in there, one half of the World tag team champs, Charlie Moss, and The Current Big Thing, Brock Ausstin! TK hammers away on Spencer in a corner, then stands over him and taunts into the camera. Brock Ausstin comes from behind and grabs him by the hair. TK Oh shi... Brock also has the head of Christian Wright, and rams the two heads together! COLE And the ol' double noggin' knocker! Moss mounts the ropes and slugs away on Black, as the crowd counts along! 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! Wright comes to and delivers a double axhandle to Moss from behind, but Moss is able to keep his balance, then climbs down as Wright, thinking Moss is out, celebrates his feat. Moss taps him on the shoulder, then delivers a right hand as he turns around! COACH Look at that cheap shot! Moss continues to fire off on Wright, then delivers a right to Mr. Dick, but Black hammers him from behind, and he and Wright try to dump Moss. COACH Moss could be in trouble here! As Moss tries to hang on, he grabs Black in a headscissors, and both men hover over the top rope. COLE But look at that smart move, and now Nathaniel Black in trouble! Spencer joins in, trying to force Black over, as Mr. Dick and TK do the same to Moss. Brock comes up from behind, and dumps TK over the top of Moss to the floor! COLE And Thunderkid has been eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ eliminated: Thunderkid eliminated by: Brock Ausstin remaining: Brock Ausstin, Charlie Moss, Christian Wright, Denzel Spencer, Mr. Dick, Nathaniel Black ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TK grabs Moss on his way down, pulling Moss and Black to the apron. Denzel and MD both push with their feet as Brock hammers from over the top rope, and ultimately Black and Moss are both forced to the floor! COACH There they go! COLE Two guys out right there, Charlie Moss and Nathaniel Black, gone! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ eliminated: Charlie Moss, Nathaniel Black eliminated by: Brock Ausstin, Denzel Spencer, Mr. Dick remaining: Brock Ausstin, Christian Wright, Denzel Spencer, Mr. Dick ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE And we're down to four! Brock Ausstin and Denzel Spencer! Mr. Dick and Christian Wright! Wright rakes the face of Spencer, then drops him throat-first across the top rope! Wright then joins MD in working over Brock. They back Brock into a corner, and Mr. Dick steps through to the apron and grabs Brock around the throat as Wright lays in shots to the midsection. COACH And it looks like CW and MD have formed a pact to get rid of the big man! CW and MD bring Brock out of the corner, and whip him into the ropes. Brock ducks a double clothesline, and delivers one of his own! Brock grabs CW, and whips him into the ropes, pressing him into the air and letting him drop to the mat! COACH Oh no! COLE A long way down for Christian Wright! Brock yells out to the crowd, then whips MD into a corner, and charges...but MD moves out of the way! Brock staggers backwards, and CW takes him down with a neckbreaker! MD then stands in the corner as CW climbs to the top rope. They wait for Brock to get to his feet, then MD tosses CW at Brock...but Brock catches him, stumbling backwards into the ropes, and dumps him to the floor! COLE What a move by Brock Ausstin, and Christian Wright is gone! Brock stops for a second to catch his breath, only to be sent over the ropes by a knee to the back from Mr. Dick, who then shoves him to the floor! COLE And Brock takes his eye off the ball, and now he's gone! We're down to two! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ eliminated: Christian Wright eliminated by: Brock Ausstin eliminated: Brock Ausstin eliminated by: Mr. Dick remaining: Denzel Spencer, Mr. Dick ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Mr. Dick spots Denzel pulling himself up in the corner, and gets a smile on his face. COACH Yeah, let's go Dick! This'll be like shooting fish in a barrel! MD grabs a hold of Denzel, but Denzel starts firing off right hands! COLE But look at Denzel fight! Denzel spins MD around into the corner, and fires away with chops and kicks, then springs off the ropes with a knee to the face! COLE Big knee from Denzel! Denzel then whips Mr. Dick across, and goes for a handspring elbow, but MD moves out of the way, then executes the COCK SHOCK~! COACH That's it! No more playing around! COLE One of the trademark moves from Mr. Dick, that inverted atomic drop followed by a lariat, he calls it the Cock Shock! Mr. Dick begins to play to the crowd, telling them it's over, then picks up Denzel. He goes to throw him out...but Denzel reverses, and TOSSES MR. DICK TO THE FLOOR! COACH WHAT?!? COLE HE'S OUT! It's over! Denzel wins! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ eliminated: Mr. Dick eliminated by: Denzel Spencer WINNER: Denzel Spencer ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen...the winner of the battle royal...DENZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL SSSSSSSSSSSPENCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! Denzel drops to his knees as the referee raises his hand, while Mr. Dick looks on in disbelief. COACH I can't believe this! COLE Well, you better believe it! Denzel Spencer is going to compete in Money in the Bank! Denzel poses on the buckles, as Mr. Dick walks back up the aisle in a huff. COLE Maybe, Mr. Dick will take his opposition a little more seriously in the future! Good night, everyone!

PRESENTED IN HD FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- The fans are on their feet for the start of America's favorite sports entertainment show. And Michael Cole and Da Coach are ready to start the festivities. COLE Folks, HeldDOWN is here in Louisville, Kentucky, home of our great training program OAOVW! The atmosphere is electric here, as the man touted as best graduate of OAOVW Spencer Reiger teams Lorelei DeCenzo to face Bohemoth and Jade Rodez-Duncan. Another product of the OAOVW system Mister Dick competes for his spot in the Money In The Bank match at School's Out, after a crushing loss to Zack Malibu in Montreal. COACH That title was Mister Dicks! Then Anglesault old hookin and whorin freak-a-leek came in and ruined Mister Dick's big moment! COLE Well ladies and gentlemen School's Out is now just two weeks away and our main event has been signed. Fresh off of his title defence in Montreal, OAOAST World Champion Zack Malibu has demanded that he gets one more shot at the man he took the title from, his former friend Leon Rodez. We were scheduled to talk to Leon live and we're going to do that right now, albeit via satellite, after Leon refused to appear here tonight in Louisville. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The crowd show their disapproval as the face of Leon Rodez appears on the AngleTron and in split-screen on screen. Wearing the same sour look on his face as he has for weeks Leon reclines back in the seat in the Michigan studio. COLE Leon we thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule. LEON Sarcasm. That's nice. COLE Last week we sent Josh Matthews to Detroit to get an explanation for your shocking actions a few weeks ago at the expense of Zack Malibu and the impression you've left on us all is that of a bitter and resentful person. Now you've got your rematch for the World Title, are you satisfied? Leon wipes a scowl from his face, adjusting in his seat. LEON First of all, as far as why I'm not with you in person tonight, the fact is there's nothing there for me. Nothing except more questions and more accusations from people who expect better of me, without offering me anything better in return. I'm not missed and I don't miss anyone there. So until I've got an obligation to be there, I don't see any point in showing up. Leaning out of his morose position Leon glares at the camera. LEON As far as your question, am I satisfied? Satisfied with what? Zack Malibu gives me a rematch. So what? That's the absolute LEAST I deserve from Zack Malibu. You know, maybe if Zack had given me this rematch sooner, maybe I would have maintained my hope in human decency. Maybe I might have kept the false idea that this 'friendship' you keep talking about meant anything. After what happened at the Celtic Spectacular, I've been waiting for this. Waiting for Zack Malibu to give me what's rightfully mine, a second chance, just like I gave him the moment I saw his foot on that bottom rope. Am I satisfied? (sighs) Zack has proven me right again. He hasn't given me this title rematch out of guilt or out of friendship. He's given me it for the same reason he does everything in his life. Hatred and revenge. COLE So was this your plan all along, to force Zack Malibu's hand by turning your back on him... LEON Do you think I would plan this!? Do you think that this is what I wanted? To be broken down emotionally, outcast from society, eyes wide open to the fact that life sucks? You think I planned to have everything in my life prove completely meaningless? You don't get it, do you? You don't get how I feel! There was no plan. Just a sudden realisation. I never asked for a rematch from Zack. I took for granted that one day he'd give him what I deserved. When I realised he only cared about himself, just like every other human being on this planet, I took my frustrations out on him and that's it. The World Heavyweight Title never meant that much to me that I'd manipulate people to get it back. Nothing did. I'm not Zack Malibu. I'm not a manipulator. I'm the manipulatee! And I always have been. COACH Leon, Coach here. Question is, why did you accept this match? You gotta know Zack's gonna be out for revenge. Leon shakes his head. LEON Zack can talk about revenge but if you ask me, after all the times he's used me, he's still got plenty to pay back first before he can think about that. COLE In that case, what are you after here? Are you after the World Title or are you after Zack Malibu? LEON Revenge is a base emotion, one which I got out of my system when I put Zack in my Liontamer. I don't care enough to think about revenge. I don't care about Zack Malibu anymore. I don't care enough to feel hatred or frustrations anymore because it's just not worth it. And I don't care about being the flag bearer of this company anymore either. All the accolades and all the records... I realise now, they're all meaningless. The only reason I care about the OAOAST World Title is because it's rightfully mine. Life has taken away what's mine and for too long I've sat back and took it without a fight. School's Out, New Orleans Louisana, I will take back what's mine. COLE You expect us to believe that you don't care if Zack Malibu is hurt by all this? That you're not trying to make him feel bad, in whatever way be it mentally or physically, by what you're doing? Looking down, Leon mulls it over for a couple of seconds. LEON Karma is a cruel thing. Trust me, I know. At School's Out I will be Zack Malibu's karma. Maybe it's about time Zack Malibu felt a little bit of the pain that I feel. And Zack, know two things. Know that no matter what stunts you pull, what stops you pull out and what rules you break to try and ruin me again, you can't break a spirit that's already been broken. And know that when it's all over, you won't end up like me. Because you still care about the empty sympathy of all your fans that's going to be waiting for you... just like always. Pulling off his microphone Leon abruptly ends the interview again by leaving, as he did last time. COLE I... I just can't get over this side of Leon Rodez. And I think deep down, no matter what he says, the problem isn't that he doesn't care, it's that he cares far too much.

COLE Ladies and gentlemen, KTLA of Los Angeles recently caught up with Krista Isadora Duncan at her “FIT with KID” gym in Santa Monica. Let’s see what the one and only and not beyond stupid Miss California had to say. COURTESEY KTLA We’re taken to Krista’s luxurious ultra modern, incredibly chic gym in Santa Monica. Krista stands with Alix at her side, and in the background Shayne and Tyler can be seen working to exhaustion to clean off weight machines. REPORTER So, Krista why don’t you tell us what this big event is all about? KRISTA This is “KID for Kids fitness”, and what that is we take groups of students from the inner city and basically teach them fitness, exercise and proper nutrition in a fun way. Its similar to what I do with my maids, only I won’t be launching bottle rockets at these kids. ALIX At leas not until they turn 16. REPORTER So what do you think they’ll take away from this program? ALIX They better not take the lead paint in the janitor’s closet, how else will I feed myself when Krista locks me in. KRISTA Hopefully they’ll take away techniques that they can use to keep themselves healthy and trim through out their life and into adulthood. Plus it fills Alix’s community service requirement. ALIX I’m only here to recruit soldiers for my new death metal outfit “Satan’s Cradle” We have a jug! Jug-jug-jug-jug-jug! REPORTER Looks like you have some hard working people over here? KRISTA I do? (Krista looks back at D*LUX) Oh honey, that’s just Shayne and Tyler. We don’t like to call them people, it might cause them to have independent thoughts. Anything beyond “Do what Krista says” is a recipe for brain cancer. ALIX True story, b. Like, one of them thought he could step out for lunch, as soon as he had that thought he had a seizure. We, like, tucked him inside the towel hamper so he wouldn’t scare important people, like the homeless man who like often wanders in here to like expose himself and stuff. I love Crazy Jimmy, he’s soooo cool. KRISTA Someone clearly has to make this place nice and tidy and if we can do our part to help these slow and simple minded gents from walking into traffic, falling into open manhole covers and even just sticking forks into open powerlines, then gosh darn it, honey, we’re going to do it for a tax write off! REPORTER Didn’t they wrestle for the OAOAST? ALIX Yeah, they did! But, like, they got totally murdered by these guys, I think of em was the Spanish dude from Oz, and anyway they looked like Lincoln after he got assassinated by a booth, which is odd because booth’s don’t have the right to bear arms. Any skittle , they lost baaaaad, but maybe they can win at life by cleaning Roseanne’s sweat after 5 sets on the BUTT blaster. KRISTA Considering that the OAOAST and wrestling in general serves only to rot the feeble mind of America’s working class, we all thought maybe we can give back to those people whose brains they destroyed. REPORTER Sounds wonderful! Thanks so much for your time. COLE (O.S.) OAOAST Cameras caught this shocking development after KTLA’s cameras stopped rolling. KRISTA (to D*LUX) Oh boys! D*LUX put down their windex bottles and quickly scurry over to Krista like loyal young puppies. KRISTA I need you to sign something. SHAYNE Sign what? KIRSTA Oh honey its nothing big like signing your collection of New Kids on the Block autographed posters. I just need you to sign this proof of work so Krissy can get a sweet tax write off. And also- Without waiting for Krista to finish her sentence the boys happily write down their John Hancock. KRISTA You honestly should have let me finish my sentence. But because you were so eager to scribble down your chicken scratch, I have the honor and pleasure of saying “You’re having a match next week. Against each other” Best of luck, kids. Krista walks away and D*LUX is frozen in place, flabbergasted that they feel for a trick they invented! COMMERCIAL

BIFF I'm telling you, superpowers are the only rational explanation! A fine place to pick up any conversation! Especially one involving Biff Atlas and Vinny Valentine. Checking himself out in his glittered out mirror, Vinny tries to get himself ready with Biff's idiocy surrounding him. Biff sits staring at his hands and arms as if they'd just magically appeared from out of nowhere. VINNY Would you zip it already? BIFF Zip it? Don't you think this is pretty important? All this time I've been in fear of my life, I didn't realise I had these powers. Unless I got the powers somehow during the past few months and it's only just manifesting itself. Maybe it was that seedy motel we stayed at. One of those beetles that crawled over my bed and sent me into a panic attack, maybe it was radioactive. Slamming his brush down, Vinny pulls himself away from his reflection. VINNY Radioactive beetles? Is your wig crooked or somethin'? BIFF Vinny, I can feel it, I've got superpowers. I know it. Now I just need to figure out what they actually are. VINNY If you had superpowers, you'd know what they are! BIFF Not neccessarily. It all happened in such a flash that I didn't really learn anything. I keep replaying it over and over in my head trying to figure it out, but nothing. VINNY And I keep tellin' ya, you ain't got no superpowers doofus! Now get to steppin' funky cat, we got ourselves a battle royal to win. Less talk, more action. Not convinced Biff exits the room still deep in thought, Vinny sighing, taking one last look in the mirror and winking at his reflection before following after his partner. Back in the arena, a wealth of flickering and flashing spotlights that alternate between entirely red and entirely white blast their way across the entrance stage. The lights on the floor then turn blue cutting through a thin haze that fills the stage. Stepping out of the entrance, Spencer Reiger MAKES IT RAIN, producing Lorelei DeCenzo and her money shower entrance. Hooked arm in arm Spencer and Lorelei walk to the ring, cloaked by a bright white spotlight to contrast the flashing blue and red "SR" shaped illuminations on the entrance ramp. BUFFER This contest is an intergender tag team match, scheduled for one fall and in this match the male and female competitors can only be legally in the ring against one another. Introducing team number one. Representing THE ENTERPRISE! First, from Los Angeles, California, she is "THE MONEY HONEY"... LORELEI DEEEEECCEEENNZZZZZZOOOOOOO!!! And her tag team partner is from Manhatten, New York... "THE ONE MAN TRIPLE THREAT"... SSSPPEEEENNCCEEEEEERRRRR... RRREEEEEEIIIIGGEEERRRRRRR!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Spencer holds the ropes open for Lorelei like a true gentleman, ignoring the fact that he'd just insulted a young fan on the way to in the ring which isn't so gentlemanly. COLE Even at half-strength, the LDC Moneygang still getting themselves into trouble with that cocksure attitude of their's. Helped in no small part by Lorelei. One foot on the top rope, Spencer pulls away his Ed Hardy hoodie and gives the crowd a good view of his abdominals. "Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name" Interrupting the 'Spencer Show', "When I Grow Up" hits. Not with her usual pep and pizazz, it's SERIOUS Jade who makes her way out. Scowling she marches down the aisle with her eyes locked on a not exactly scared Lorelei. She and Spencer mock Jade's determination by pretending to shake in their boots. BUFFER And introducing their opponents, first residing in Los Angeles, California, a former OAOAST Women's Champion, she is "LITTLE MISS CALIFORNIA"... JJJAAAAAAAADDEEEE RROOODDEEEZZZZZ - DDUUUUUNNCCAAAAAANN!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Of course, Jade isn't scary... *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" But Jade's partner is a different story altogether. And with the Louisville crowd going wild Bohemoth marches to the ring, passing by his partner and jogging up the steps which has a very real effect on Spencer who bails. BUFFER And her tag team partner... hails from Greenville, South Carolina and weighs two hundred, eighty four pounds. He is the 2009 Lethal Rumble winner... "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BBOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHEEEEEEEMMMMMOOOOOOOOTTHHHHHH!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Bohemoth climbs the turnbuckles and shows off what he's got, putting Spencer to shame somewhat. COLE When Lorelei had the temerity to talk down to Sophie and friends earlier tonight, I'm sure she wasn't expecting a very frustrated Jade to bite back. And she and Spencer definately weren't expecting Bohemoth to be looking out for Jade when they made this challenge. COACH Well, let's be honest, you don't expect Bohemoth to be looking at Jade at all really. Talk about your odd couples. COLE I think they make a great couple. COACH So in your world, odd equals great. Makes sense to me. *DINGDINGDING!* Spencer and Lorelei talk things over on the outside as Bohemoth convinces Jade that he's going to start. Couple or not, Bo's not the kind of guy you argue with once the bell's rung. Sizing this up Spencer psyches himself up, ignoring the abuse he's getting from the crowd. But when Spencer slides into the ring, he has second thoughts and before a lock-up can occur he turns around and tags Lorelei. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE That will force a tag on the opposite side as it's the men versus the men, women versus the women in this one. Spencer using that rule to his advantage. Reluctant to get out, Bo finds Jade far from reluctant as she calls for the obligatory tag. Once in, Jade stomps right at Lorelei and before she knows what's happening Lorelei finds herself taken off her feet and under a barrage of wild slaps!! COLE Oh yeah! Look at Jade go! COACH Take a long look at this Bo, you put a ring on that finger you're gonna be on the recieving end of that temper real soon. Run. Run while ya still can homeboy! Lorelei kicks her way out from underneath Jade and scrambles back to her feet. Teeth gritted, Jade chases right after Lorelei and grabs two handfuls of hair, sending Lori spinning over to the mat! Lorelei gets back up shrieking at the injustice and ends up getting flung over by the hair a second time! COLE I guess Lorelei picked the wrong day to get the cheerleader angry, huh? Scrambling up again Lorelei does a quick u-turn, slapping Spencer on the chest and getting out of the ring! COLE And Lorelei wanting no more of Jade, handing control right back to Spencer. Not looking too thrilled with being the legal man again all of a sudden, Spencer turns around and questions Lorelei on what she's doing. Back turned to the ring he doesn't realise Bohemoth is now in and standing right behind him. Not until Bo spins him around and brings him into the ring the hard way with a big hiptoss! Spencer quickly rolls away and begs off, with little success as Bo pulls him back up, whipping him to the corner and laying in a clothesline. Bohemoth then PRESSES New York's Finest over his head, dumping him to the mat with a slam. COLE Things are really not going the way of The Enterprise so far! Off the ropes Bohemoth charges into Reiger with a shoulder block, connecting with enough force to send Spencer head over heels and out between the bottom and middle ropes to the arena floor! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Not going their way whatsoever! COACH Well you can't blame them, with these crazy rules about tagging in and out when it's guys and when it's gals, they can't get any rhythm going. COLE Except they're the only ones who are making the tags. Spencer is attended to by Lorelei on the outside, while Bohemoth flexes his muscles. Which draws a smile from Jade for the first time in the match. Dusted off and refocused, Spencer's stalling for time doesn't go down well with the Louisville crowd but it does stop any momentum that had been building against him. Reiger carefully gets back into the ring, backing away from Bo as he approaches and ducking through the ropes insisting his opponent be kept back. "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" The Enterprise duo try to convince the crowd to quieten down as Spencer emerges from between the ropes. Back on an even playing field Spencer and Bohemoth lock up and a quick knee from Spencer catches Bo by surprise. COACH That's more like it. Brains over brawn. Reiger strikes Bo across the neck with forearms before looking for an irish whip. Reversal sends Reiger to the ropes, ducking underneath a clothesline. Building up speed Spencer leaves his feet but gets caught in Bohemoth's arms like a child! Bearhugging Spencer, Bo lets him go, near the ropes causing Spencer to rebound back into a flooring clothesline. COLE That was more a case of brawn over brains. Infact, Spencer's brains might be scrambled now. Shaken up, Spencer walks into a Big Boot to the face and is covered... 1... 2... No! Bohemoth shakes Spencer up some more with some right hands, backing him into a corner. Irish whip sends Spencer across the ring and as he bounces out of the opposite corner, Bo follows in with another clothesline, sending him right back into the turnbuckles. COLE Spencer getting the pinball treatment, he's being bounced from pillar to post by the AngleMania main-eventer Bohemoth. You think he'll advise Lorelei to keep her mouth shut in the future? Staggering out of the corner Spencer flops to his knees and then onto his face, looking about ready to bail on this one. Bohemoth grabs hold of the board shorts to keep him from going anywhere and brings him back to his feet. Lifting Spencer off his feet, Bo delivers a Sidewalk Slam. 1... 2... No! COLE Jade looking on as her man is in control. COACH Looks to me like she'd got a case of the wandering eye. Maybe she's thinking about that offer Spencer made her earlier. COLE Oh please. A hard right hand sends Reiger retreating into a corner, the ropes holding him up. Bohemoth moves the referee out of his path as he moves to the opposite corner of the ring, getting a run up on his opponent. But Reiger is given too much time to recover and as Bo throws his boot up for a Yazuka in the corner, Spencer dodges out of the way and watches Bo gets crotched up on the top rope! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!" With Bo still hung up Spencer quickly exits to the apron, running across and connecting with the enziguri to the back of Bohemoth's neck!! COLE Spencer finally catching a break and then catching Bohemoth with that pinpoint kick of his! As Bohemoth pulls himself off the ropes, Spencer brings him down to the mat stacking him on his shoulders... 1... 2... Kickout! Now he's got the advantage Spencer decides he can afford to taunt Jade, blowing her a kiss. Already in a foul mood that's enough to draw Jade into the ring, which results in free chance for Spencer to blatantly choke Bohemoth on the mat. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Way to help out your man Jade. Great job. Reiger breaks up the choke by the time the referee has put Jade back out. Standing on Bohemoth's face, The One Man Triple Threat keeps the head placed so he can pull down his right kneepad and drive down with a measured kneedrop. Bo grabs his temple as he's pinned down... 1... 2... No! Slapping on a rear chinlock Spencer boasts that he's "got him now". COLE Spencer finally having things go his way here against Bohemoth. And both of these men set to be involved in that huge Money In The Bank Ladder Match in almost two weeks time at School's Out. Bohemoth begins to fight his way up, so Spencer tries to re-adjust to keep his man down. Unfortunately he ends up sitting on the back of Bohemoth's head and pretty soon is being lifted up off the mat as Bohemoth stands up with Spencer on his shoulders! Realising he's in trouble Spencer scrambles his way out of the electric chair before he gets frazzled. Bohemoth takes a big swing at him, but Reiger ducks the line. After kicking at Bo's knee Spencer then scores with a quick DDT and goes for the cover... 1... 2... No! "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" Stomping away, Spencer stops to berate the crowd. When he turns back around, Bo is up to one knee and socks Spencer in the face with a hard right hand! COLE Oh, that one rocked Reiger! Stumbling to his corner Spencer stretches his hand out for a tag but Lorelei waves him away and encourages him to get back on Bohemoth. Which he does, cutting Bo off from the tag to Jade by dropkicking away his knee. COLE Spencer looking a little shaky but her partner hardly eager to tag in. COACH Why would she want a tag? If she tags in, that means Bohemoth is automatically out, what good would that do? COLE Well it'd also mean Lorelei would have to come in against Jade which I suspect was her more pressing concern. Dragging Bohemoth away from the corner Spencer tries to hook him up in a sleeper. Bo elbows his way free in a hurry, catching Spencer in the jaw with a final elbow that sends him reeling again. Spencer finds himself in his opponent's corner and sees Bohemoth up ready to tag... so turns around AND SHOVES JADE OFF THE APRON TO THE FLOOR!! COLE HEY! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Lorelei applauds her man for preventing the tag, dastardly as it was. Giving her the 'okay' signal Spencer then runs out of the corner AND INTO A FRONT SPINEBUSTER!! COLE BOOM! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Wild eyes, surveying the crowd Bohemoth already knows the answer. Thumbs Up. THUMBS DOWN~! COLE Here we go! COACH Aw no! Bohemoth watches as Spencer staggers to his feet... but close enough to his corner that Lorelei can lean in and tag herself in. COLE Wait, tag was made and the referee has seen it. Dropping from the apron, Lorelei quickly runs around and goes after Jade who's still picking herself up on the floor. The momentary distraction of the tag takes Bohemoth's mind off of the kill and allows Spencer to surprise him with the NEW YORK KNOCKOUT! COLE Ooh! That inverted bulldog, bringing Bohemoth right down on the back of his head. What a resourceful move by Spencer. COACH And now Lorelei is legal, which means so is Jade! I love it. Spencer rolls Bohemoth out of the ring while Lorelei throws Jade in, taking over the match. The Money Honey picks Jade up to her feet, putting her in the corner and driving her shoulder into the lower back with repeateded shoulder thrusts until the referee intervenes. After leaving the Tramp Stamp on her, Lorelei grabs Jade by the hair to pull her down from the corner, going for the cover... 1... 2... No! Getting on the referee's case Lorelei demands a faster count next time. She then gives something for the ref to count, by mounting Jade and connecting with cross punches to the face! COLE Lorelei is just vicious here! COACH She said she was gonna send a message. Not many better ways to do it than by punching someone in the face, if you ask me. Holding back once the ref gets to five, Lorelei drags Jade off the mat by her hair. Lorelei then hooks Jade up, dropping her gut first across the knee with a Uranage Gutbuster! Treating Jade with total disdain Lori shoves Jade from her knee and applies the cover... 1... 2... KIckout! "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" Lorelei scowls at the crowd as Jade tries to fight to her feet. On the outside, Spencer keeps Bohemoth busy. Waiting for Jade to get back up Lorelei glares a hole through her opponent. A hard kick doubles Jade over. Lorelei then sets up looking for her Fisherman's Buster... but experiences a Cash Flow problem as Jade floats over the back and lands on her feet! COLE Escape by Jade and now she's fixing to kick some ass! Cussing under her breath Lorelei turns around and Jade paws her with an open left hand. Then paws her with an open right. With a guttural shout, Jade then pulls a 360 and knocks Lorelei down with a big clothesline! COLE And would you LOOK at Jade, she is ALL fired up! Jade growls under breath waiting for Lorelei to get back to her feet. Returning the favour from earlier Jade grabs hold of Lorelei's hair and uses it to guide her back into a corner where she climbs to the middle rope. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" "NINE!" "TEN!" COLE The former Women's Champion laying in with those punches for the woman responsible for Morgan Nerdly's pursuit of her. COACH That's her only friend you're talking about! Hooking Lorelei up in a cobra clutch, Jade can't get her next move away as The Money Honey backs up, crushing Jade into the turnbuckles. Lorelei whips Jade to the opposite corner and charges, but Jade gets her zebra striped shoes up into the face! Going up to the middle rope again, Jade pulls Lori down with a Victory Roll... 1... 2... NO! Jade hops right back up and hits the ropes... ...AND GETS TRIPPED FROM THE OUTSIDE! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh, real big man Spencer Reiger! Reiger quickly gets his comeuppance though as Bohemoth delivers a YAKUZA KICK, folding Spencer back against the ring apron! COLE And that's no more than Reiger deserved! Meanwhile in the ring, Lorelei stalks Little Miss California. Loading up, she aims with a lariat... DUCKED... and Lorelei slams on the brakes as she almost runs into Bohemoth on the apron. Lorelei begs off from The Meterosexual Monster, who gives her the THUMBS DOWN~! And right on cue, Jade grabs Lorelei from behind and GETS IT FROM HER MOMMA with the reverse x-factor!! COLE Lorelei DeCenzo just ate her words! 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... the team of JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN and BBOOOOOOO - HHHHEEEEEEMMMMOOOOOTTHHHHHH!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Jade and Bo share a congratulatory hug before their hands are raised in victory. Rolled out of the ring, a groggy Lorelei falls into the arms of Spencer, who looks pretty groggy in his own right but does his best to help his Money Honey to the back. Bohemoth leans over the ropes and dares Spencer to come back for some more, but it's clear he and Lorelei have had all they can handle for the night and then some. COLE Chalk up and victory for Jademoth! COACH Jademoth? Really? COLE And perhaps, perhaps, here's hoping, Lorelei DeCenzo and Spencer Reiger might be a little more careful in the future before they open their mouths. Because they got exactly what they deserved here tonight from Jade and Bohemoth. Now he's out of range Spencer's bravado comes back and he vows revenge on Bohemoth from the safety of the stage. Bohemoth raises Jade's hand in the ring, causing her to blush shyly and tell her boyfriend to knock it off. COLE And a bright spot in what has undoubtedly been a rough couple of weeks for Jade, she can enjoy this victory here tonight that's for sure. But who will be victorious later on in our Battle Royal to determine the final spot in Money In The Bank? Bohemoth will be there, so too will Spencer Reiger, who else will be? We'll find out tonight!

We’re taken to a mystical land far away from the confines of modern man. A castle fit for a queen with a myriad of servants and the finest of dishes sitting on a royal table. At the head of this extravagance is… AMY ADAMS whooops I meant QUEEN ESTHER At her side are…. LUCIUS SOUL RICO DE JANERIO QUEEN ESTHER Hello, all! A very big welcome to the Queen’s Court! Joining the queen today is her white knight Rico and her black Lucius! Its wonderful that you both were able to make it today. SOUL I heard that. Pimpin ain’t easy and neither is flying United, yuck mouth monkeys got my flight delayed and tried to tell the boy he couldn’t bring his pimp cane on aboard cause his pimpin is too real and too raw for United. RICO Hey, mang, Rico gots the same problem, mang. They don’t Rico getting on their “Hair Pains” cause they pornstache and leading man good looks would start a riot with jealous men tryin to make me deceased and women tryin to touch earth on heaven, mang. QUEEN ESTHER We had an excellent time in Montreal and we want to say Merci Beaucoup to everyone who made it such a magical trip. I almost want to sing. I think I will sing! Mooooontreal in the moooooonlight, please make my dreams briiiiiight, tell the sun to set, because night is all we have left. That’s just verse one of my operatic symphony, I just loved Montreal so much I had to put it to music. RICO Montreal is where we seen bad oranges, that leave bad taste in mouth. QUEEN ESTHER You must be talking about Citizen Soldiers! What awful, horrible people they are, promoting the use of spiked clubs. They almost ruined the whole night! Thank god you had the decency to strike them down with my crystal wand, Rico. RICO Hey mang, I just give them the thing that they got comin. SOUL If they was real hoods then they wouldn’t need no spiked club, they just throw grown man hands. But they ain’t grown men, they grown bitches. QUEEN ESTHER Thankfully The Last Kings of Scotland saved the day by battling back Citizen Soldiers. If it weren’t for those dashing heroes, we might all be dead by now. I shudder at the thought! RICO Scott and Danny Boy is cool guys in Rico’s books. They are as good as the gold. QUEEN ESTHER I’m glad you said that! Very glad! I think The Last Kings are wonderful people, and the world would be a lot better off if more people were like them. They truly are worthy of the royal treatment, and we’ve all decided that royal blood should always stay royal blood and that’s why I’m happy to announce the brand new alliance between the Hellfire club and The Last Kings of Scotland. Danny Boy and Scottish Scott walk onto the scene, with Scott threatening the poor servants with his club. DANNY Aye, it is a pleasure. Thanks fer ye assistin in our match. When ye helped us out we knew to throw our lot in with ye. Aside from being great people, yer also hell of a drinker, eh. We’ll find some good pubs ‘round here, get a pint and start a fight. What do ye say Rico and Lucius. SOUL Soon as the police give me back my pimp cane, I’m gonna be right down there smashin skulls in with you. SCOTT This little message goes out to Citizen Soldiers, it does. Ye lost the battle and ye bout to lose the war, cause we got backup that’d kick the dandruff of yer nappers, they would. Give up now and do ye selves a favor. QUEEN ESTHER This is incredibly exciting! I can not wait to see what adventures we’re going to have in our magic kingdom! We’re out of time which is sad, but you peasants out there after a long hard day of backbreaking labor, you can know that the Queen’s Court is always making the world a better place. COMING MAY 31st BIG EASY STYLE SCHOOL'S OUT NEW ORLEANS, LA COMMERCIAL

As we return from break the entrance stage fills with gold smoke and purple light as Fedde Le Grand's “Creeps” blares in the background. Dos drops to his knees and chants to his strange and mysterious gods while Uno stands behind him, arms outstretched chanting the same prayer. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, hailing from Port Au Prince, Haiti, the minions of the underworld… DIVINE BROTHERS UNO and DOS... LOS CONQUISADOOOOOORRRRRRRSSSSSSS!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Los Conquistadors kick it old school raising a fist in the air. Then “Scream” by Chris Cornell hits and Molly Nerdly leads the Orange County Cobras ringside. BUFFER And their opponents, accompanied by MOLLY NERDLY! From the O.C., total combine weight 460 pounds, the 2009 Anderson Cup champions… SIMON SINGLETON and NED BLANCHARD... THE ORANGE COUNTY COOOOBRAS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Molly takes the guys’ vests and puts them both on, not to show favoritism I suppose, or her attempt to create a new fashion trend. COACH It’s nice of you not to bring up that Pearl Harbor job the O.C. Cobras did on the LDC Moneygang last week, Cole. COLE They’ve done a good job raising hell about it the past week, despite the fact they instigated it! COACH We could’ve been spared that whole mess had the OAOAST named the One Man Triple Threat and CMJ the #1 contenders like they should‘ve. They beat the O.C. Cobras once already and gave Team Heyross quite a scare at AngleMania. * DINGDINGDING * The bell sounds and rather than lockup Uno performs a ritualistic dance around Simon Singleton. Amused, Simon playfully does a few dance moves of his own, then suddenly falls to the mat and begins to convulse. NED/MOLLY COLE What’s that maniac doing to him? COACH I don’t know but that spell obviously worked. He’s got Simon incapacitated. Uno goes for the pin…AND GETS THUMBED IN THE EYE! COLE He was playing possum! COACH That’s sick, Cole. Sick! The guy toyed with people’s emotions. Simon rams Uno into the buckle and chops away in the corner. Ned receives the tag and scores on a back elbow, then a middle rope knee drop following a slam. The O.C. Cobras make another quick tag and hit the old Midnight Express drop toehold/elbow drop! The cover. ONE! TWO! NO! Dos rakes the eyes! COACH Simon got a taste of his own medicine right there, Mikey Cole. Uno violently introduces Simon into the knee of Dos. A tag follows and Simon is whipped to the ropes, then into the air where he’s drilled coming down with a double dropkick! COLE That caught Simon right in the breadbasket. It could be over right here. The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY NED! Dos dumps Simon outside and baits Ned inside so Uno can do a number on Simon behind the referee‘s back! COLE This is ridiculous! Turn around, ref! Uno “helps” Simon back in and Dos whips him hard into the buckle, then charges in and delivers a CORNER HANDSPRING ELBOW~! NO!! Simon moves and executes a DOUBLE COCONUT! COACH How quickly the tide can change, Cole. The O.C. Cobras tag and Ned unloads on both Conquistadors, including a pair of body slams. He whips Uno into the ropes for a BAAAAAAACK body drop, then clotheslines him outside. When he turns Dos is there waiting. The Handsome Hustler evades a charge and spins Dos around 360 with a lariat. Simon is tagged back in and the O.C. Cobras debut a brand new double-team move, a SLINGSHOT SUPLEX/SPRINGBOARD CROSSBODY combo! The count. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * “Scream” cues as we get the official announcement. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners… SIMON SINGLETON and NED BLANCHARD... THE ORANGE COUNTY COOOOBRAS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Their hands raised in victory Simon and Ned signal they want the gold. COLE There you see it, fans. The Orange County Cobras want the One & Only World tag team titles and they’ll have to opportunity to get them when they meet Team Heyross at School’s Out. COACH A shot that should’ve gone to Spencer Reiger and CMJ, the LDC Moneygang. COLE Whine all you want, the match has been finalize.

-EARLIER TONIGHT- As the OAOAST crew work away like beavers in the background, assembling the various sets and interview positions for the night's show, we find the attractive group of Melody Nerdly, Molly Nerdly and Sophie. The trio of young ladies chatter away... or, rather, Molly and Sophie chat, in between Molly turning her head to offer advice to a production crew member trying to set up a camera shot. Melody just stands tapping on her Nintendo DS screen, chewing away on something. Clearly she's not following the conversation her arty associates are having and looks relieved to see Jade Rodez-Duncan appearing. JADE Hiyah. SOPHIE Bonjour l'amie, comment ça va? Je suis désolé sur votre le frére. JADE ...uhm, hi Sophie. How's your back? SOPHIE Aah, it is how you say 'improving', merci beaucoup for your concerns. And may I ask how you are coping? Jade forces a smile. JADE Okay, I guess. Just got a lot on my mind. Listen, I know we all agreed to meet up but honestly, I'm not sure my heart's in it. I really need to find Tyler and Shayne. They're in trouble with Mom and Alix and I'm really worried about what they're gonna do, my conscience is going wild so I don't think I'm gonna be much company. MELODY (hits pause) That's the whole point. We're feeling down so we're going to go shopping or read girly magazines or whatever it is us girls do when the power's out and we've run out of battery power on our games consoles. Here, this'll make you feel better. Melody offers Jade an Oreo cookie. JADE Have you been carrying round an entire sleeve of Oreos? MELODY I'm sick of walking all the way across the building to catering. When they give me a place to change that's within walking distance, ask me again. Suddenly, all the heads turn at the sound of laughter. Self absorbed laughter. The kind of laughter that comes from people like Lorelei DeCenzo. Flanked by a smug Spencer Reiger, Lorelei walks up to the girls as bold as brass, unconcerned with the angry looks she gets from all four. LORELEI Well well, what do we have here? Concocting another one of your schemes are we? What is it this time, have you found a new make-up professional who can fake a good acid burn? Or maybe you're planning to stage a hit and run accident? Because if that is your plan, I hate to inform you, Morgan doesn't have a driver's license. So think again. MOLLY Don't rise to it Sophie. LORELEI Yes, Sophie, you wouldn't want to do anything silly now. Who knows what might happen as a result. Wave that white flag your nation is so fond of. SPENCER Yeah, you rotten little liar! Trying to force her way through to Lorelei, Sophie is blocked off by her friends who wisely try to keep her out of trouble. LORELEI Face it, you got what you deserved once already for your lies. SPENCER Liar! LORELEI Let that be a message to you. Morgan is a fragile girl and she doesn't need any of you hurting her any further. All she needs is me. So keep your damn noses out of our business and quit with your vicious little lies or thi... SPENCER LIAR! LORELEI .....or things could get very nasty for you. MELODY Mmff mff mmfmf? Unfortunately, Melody had a mouthful of Oreo and ends up sraying everyone with crumbs while failing to get her point across. SPENCER Anyone wanna translate for Grimace? MELODY I said, "is that so". LORELEI Yes, that is so. Learn from your little friends what happens when you try and mess with me. They'll tell you. Go ahead and play Sex And The City, The Low Budget Version with the rest of these insignificant little girls, do not get above your station, 'mademoiselle'. SPENCER For what it's worth, low budget or not, you're doing a great job with the tribute act. I wouldn't want to nail any of you four without a few dozen drinks in my stomach either. All of a sudden, Jade steps forward from the group with a scowl. MELODY Easy Jade... JADE No, I've had enough of this. Jade steps closer to Lorelei, who gives her an incredulous look. JADE You're evil. You're just using Morgan because you know she's too messed up to do anything about it. Well you might be able to do what you like to her, but I won't let you insult my friends and insult me. I've had to put up with enough crap recently, without having to take it from you. So if you don't go away right now then I'll... I'll... LORELEI (mocking) I'll... I'll... you'll what, call your Mommy? Don't make me laugh! Jade tries to keep her composure but is second away from laying Lorelei out. LORELEI You know what, you clearly didn't learn anything from what happened to you at AngleMania. Spencer makes an 'L'-sign on his forehead behind Lorelei's back. LORELEI So perhaps I need to teach you a lesson myself that NOBODY speaks to Lorelei DeCenzo like you just did and gets away with it. You and me, in the ring, so all of your Myspace buddies here can see for themselves what happens. JADE Fine! Clearing his throat, Spencer whispers something in Lorelei's ear, something enough to make Lorelei smile. LORELEI Second thoughts... seeing as Colin isn't here tonight, let's make it a tag team match instead. Me and my One Man Triple Threat, versus you and whoever you can find to take pity on you. SPENCER Think of it as your prom night revisited. Except even more hopeless. LORELEI Ooh, you know what, maybe you could call Mommy, I'm sure she'd only be too eager to help out daughter dearest! Ooh, ooh, or maybe you can ask Uncle Leon? Hahaha! Jade scowls again and is just about to take a swing for Lorelei, before gazing up and behind Spencer and Lorelei at an unseen figure. SPENCER And by the way, when I said about needing a few drinks earlier, I was only kidding around. I could probably knock out a quickie with you sober. Just keep the fat one away from me. So don't look so glum. I know how you women fawn over me, especially you young impressionable types, it's just hard when you have standards though especially whe-whe-oh-I-ah-eh! Trailing off into an string of stammering, Spencer finally realises that BOHEMOTH is standing behind him. BOHEMOTH Have we got a problem? SPENCER No sir! Stepping around, Bo wraps his arm around Jade protectively. Spencer and Lorelei wisely decide this is the time to get the heck out of there, hurrying off before Bo can get filled in on the full story. BOHEMOTH Thought not. COLE So that was earlier tonight and it's going to lead to later on, an intergender tag team match as Spencer and Lorelei team up to take on Jade and her partner in more ways than one Bohemoth! A lesson to us all, be careful when, where and to whom you decide to run your mouth. Backstage in Josie's office we find… MORGAN NERDLY with the general manager herself. MORGAN You're doing what? JOSIE I'm fining you, that's what I'm doing. Morgan's eyes go wide at the thought of a fine. MORGAN How can you fine me when I've never done something wrong? JOSIE Never done something wrong? Never done something wrong? Slamming her fist on the desk, Morgan is seething in rage. MORGAN That's what I said! JOSIE You know exactly what you did. You attacked my Sophie and then conspired with Lorelei to produce a tape making her out to be the bad guy. MORGAN I didn’t do anything like that. I never touched Sophie before our match and I don’t know where that tape came from but it shows Sophie trying to set me up. With Molly's help. Its easy to blame the sociopath and never look for the truth. My own therapist doesn't believe me she wants me under constant observation. But, they framed me, they made a killer look like a killer. JOSIE Sophie would never do that. MORGAN And I would? JOSIE Frankly, I think so. MORGAN I am trying to change myself. I am trying very hard to be a better person. I have new medications and the doctors....they think maybe I'll finally get better this time. JOSIE Why should I care about your mental health, why is that crap my problem? MORGAN Because you are making me very angry. It....its bad…I don't feel good and you don't trust me. Why would you trust me? Why would anyone trust me? I know I'm a bad person, I've done horrible things, but I swear I did not hurt Sophie. I've been swearing every day since it happened and no one believes me. JOSIE I wouldn't put it past a lunatic like you. MORGAN What did you call me? JOSIE A lunatic, exactly what you are. You are a lunatic, and I don't think your services are nee- Morgan dives across the desk, tackling Josie out her chair and mounting her with ferocity on her face. JOSIE Get off- MORGAN Shhhhhh. Shhhhh. Morgan covers Josie's mouth with her hands. JOSIE MMMFMFF MORGAN This might burn just a tiny bit. ZAAAAAAAAAAAP JOSIE AHHHHHHHHHHH! FADE OUT LATER TONIGHT HEY NOW MY BOYFRIEND'S BACK BOHEMOTH AND JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN VS SPENCER REIGER AND LORELEI DECENZO TONIGHT! BUT NEXT! VOODOO SNAKES LOS CONQUISTADORS VS THE ORANGE COUNTY COBRAS NEXT!

Given that I only have segments from Tony and I, I'll just hold off posting this show to tomorrow night. The rest of you better have something!!!!

Louisville home of something or other! I don't really know, doesn't the WWF have a developmental company down there and following that model isn't the OAOVW based down there. In that case I *may* have Spencer Reiger challenge for the ultimate in vanity belts, the OAOVW world title.

Aaaaack that was a terrible idea never mind!

LIES! People used to use spoiler tags all the time in the PPV booking threads when they wanted the dude posting the show to know about it, but not anyone else

:o :o Damn these Nuggets might be for real! Its all 'cause of the Birdman, that's why. The Birdman is a fundamental asset to that team

Tony I had to edit your skit with the blonds to make CMJ sound like the boston native that he is. ---- We travel backstage into The Enterprise dressing room where Morgan is with Lorelei, sitting on the ultra comfortable leather couch and dining on fine cheese and wines LORELEI (pointing to the TV) I thought you might want to see this. MORGAN What is it? LORELEI Its something that will horrify you, but I feel as your friend that it is my duty to show you it. MORGAN Its not someone making fun of me, is it. I don’t need to assault charges that’s gonna bring me. LORELEI Its funny you mention assault charges, because what I have on this videotape is an assault to your very character. MORGAN How’d you get it, whatever it is? LORELEI Let’s just say I have some investigating skills of my own. Lorelei presses play and a grainy video pops up. In it there’s a woman who looks like Sophie and another that looks like Molly. The sound is non existent but the two women are engaged in animated chattering. Next “Molly” begins applying makeup to “Sophie’s” back in order to make it seem like she was a victim of an electrical blast. Lori then stops the tape, and looks into Morgan’s sorrow filled eyes. MORGAN I don’t understand…I…I…why did they do that? Why does everyone want to hurt me? LORELEI These people are money hungry, there’s no level too low for them to stoop to. MORGAN They make me hurt them. I don’t wanna be this bad girl, I just wanna be left alone by this world. But I keep on getting attacked, I have to fight back, I have to hurt these people. They’re all bad, all of them. Morgan storms out the room, and Lori is left behind smiling to herself and snacking on a cheese cube. I love cheese cubes.

I'll have a skit for this also. Yelle’s “Je Veux Te Voir” bounces into the arena, and the funky beats bring the fans to their feet. From the giant Canadien’s logo comes Montreal’s fellow francophone, Sophie Grey. Wearing a simple white tanktop and black pants with a white racing stripe, Sophie waves Bonjour to the thousands that speak her native tongue. She then marches down the entrance ramp in a business like manner. BUFFER The following is a women’s title match, and it is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of 30 minutes. Now making her to ring from Marseille, France, she is the challenger SOPHIE GREEEEEEEEEY. Upon entering the ring Sophie again waves to the surrounding Qubecois. COACH She looks mighty happy for a criminal, a cheat, and a down and dirty person. COLE You can’t believe that tape that Lorelei showed. That video was grainer than a bowl of oatmeal. COACH I know what my two eyes are seeing, and they’re seeing a criminal! [color="#00BFFF"][font="Arial Black"]GO! To un-explain the unforgivable, Drain all the blood and give the kids a show. By streetlight this dark night, A séance down below. There're things that I have done, You never should ever know! And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. [/font][/color] COLE Pint sized and dangerous, here comes Morgan Nerdly out for revenge. Images of searing electricity move across every video screen in an arena that’s lathered in a soft blue glow. Suddenly a bolt of electricity touches down on the stage with the ferocity of a lightening bolt. Through its flaring and sparking remains steps women’s champion Morgan Nerdly. She wears the title around her wist, and it glows against the black and white booty shorted romper and black bra her small figure is clothed in. BUFFER And the champion, hailing from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada she is MOOOORGAN NERDLLLLYYYYY! Morgan stomps down the ramp, her fist curled into tight suffocating balls, and her eyes flaring detesting anger. COACH Manny Ramierz J may have let them crackas set him up, but this girl ain’t goin down like ol soft penis Ramierz. Inside the ring Morgan stands on the center rope, leaning forward and focusing a wrathful gaze upon the audience. Behind her electrical sparks rocket off the turnbuckles into the deep blue air. COLE Lorelei did a masterful job manipulating Morgan like that. And now Sophie has to pay! DING DING DING No sooner than the moment the bell is rung does Morgan fling herself at her rival, dragging Sophie down with a spear. Rage overriding her pretty features, Morgan begins raining punches down upon Sophie’s face. She hollers with fury as she brutalizes Sophie so badly that the referee hasn’t any choice but to pull her off. That greatly displeases he baby Nerdly and she screams her disgust at Charles Robinson. Once done with blasting him hatred, Morgan turns back to Sophie. But she’s kicked in the gut by a Rebook tennish shoe. Doubled over and clutching her stomach, Morgan watches in frustration as Sophie carries herself into the ropes. Frustration gives way to pleasure as Morgan leaps forward and knocks Sophie over with a lariat. “BOOOOOOOO!” Both ladies make a quick return to their feet, but Morgan strikes first and strikes hard with a knee into Sophie’s face. Wiping hair away from her eyes, Morgan closes in on her staggering foe and then hooks her into a front facelock. Her hands grab hold of Sophie’s workout pants and she brings her into the air for a vertical suplex. But Sophie fights through the hold and manages to come back down on her feet. Even more annoyed than before, Morgan swats her down with a spinning elbow. Tossing her golden hair away once more, Morgan drives her spiked heels into Sophie’s face. “SOPHIE! SOPHIE! SOPHIE!” her fellow Francophones chant. KC says he hates French people and Tony didn’t even know Montreal is in Canada, I got dirt on ya’ll! Sophie rolls back to her feet where she’s met with a series of knife edge chops to her less than buxom chest. The power of the blows send her toppling against the ropes. Something resembling a demonic smile appears on Morgan’s face, as she grabs onto Sophie’s track pants and uses them to upend her over the ropes! Sophie comes down hard on the ring apron, and hasn’t even a moment to breathe before Morgan reaches through the ropes and applies a nasty chokehold. COLE Lorelei did her job here, getting Morgan to believe that grainy video. COACH The proof is in the pudding! Sophie set Morgan up to try and win the belt on a technicality. COLE I can’t believe you just said the proof is in the pudding. Forcibly removed from Sophie by the referee, Morgan is a howling and hissing banshee attempting to get at the woman who may have framed her. Sophie rolls into the ring, asking Morgan try and listen to reason. But Morgan eye’s flash a bloody hatred and she charges forward at Sophie. The French girl slides out the way, and poor Morgan is left to ram her shoulder into ring post. Red bruising appears on her milky skin, and fury continues to pour out of her. “OLE! OLE! OLE! OLE! OLE! OLE! OLE! SOOOPHIE SOOOOOPHIE!” the fans sing the song of the hometown Canadiens to rally their French brethren. Given strength by the support of the audience Sophie grabs Morgan’s thin body with a rear waistlock. But that doesn’t last but for a scant few seconds as the Inspector forces her way free with three quick elbow shots. She then bounds to the ropes expecting to flatten Sophie with a lariat. But she’s overwhelmed with shock when Sophie slides forward to cradle her into a schoolgirl! ONE! TWO! Morgan kicks out, and squats on all fours to expose a face heated with rage. COACH Forget Wolverine: Orgins, lets talk about Morgan: Orgins, this girl is a killer I wouldn’t be surprised if suddenly metal claws shot out her knuckles. Morgan quickly heads back up, catching a worried look in Sophie’s eyes. Sophie greets her with a series of right jabs, dazing Morgan on her heels. Sophie then carries herself to the ropes and returns to push Morgan into a pinning position with a cross body block. The referee and the fans count along… UN! DEUX! Morgan kicks out long before the count of troi. Hissing like cobra she rolls to her feet and strikes Sophie with a trio of kicks to her knees. Sophie’s legs buckle, and Morgan is easily able to snare her inside a double underhook and flip her over with a suplex. But that hold is of minor pain compared to what Morgan does next. She leaps into the air, and repeatedly drives her platform heels into Sophie’s back. Sophie hollers in misery, as the crowd both marvels at and boos Morgan’s odd attack. COLE We’ve seen regular stomps and we’ve seem double stomps but I’ve never seen anyone just jump up and down on their opponent like that. Forced to end her unusual stomping by the referee, Morgan scowls as she rips Sophie off the canvas. The French girl shows some spirit by flinging elbows into Morgan’s exposed midsection. Tired of being pummeled, the petite Nerdly girl throws a lunging lariat. But Sophie ducks bellow the strike and captures Morgan into a backslide. UN! DEUX! Morgan keeps her title reign alive with a furious kickout. “BLEU, BLANC, ROUGE, SOPHIE, SOPHIE! BLEU, BLANC, ROUGE, SOPHIE, SOPHIE!” the French Canadians sing. COLE Bleu, blanc and rouge the colors of the Montreal Canadiens hockey team. COACH And just like the Canadiens against The Bruins, this chick Sophie is fixin to get that ass kicked! Leaping back upright, Morgan wraps her arms around Sophie’s body and uses all the power in her little frame to drive her backwards into the turnbuckles. An audible groan falls out of Sophie’s lips upon hitting the ring post, and the pain continues as Morgan slams knee after knee into her stomach. Once done with overpowering her challenger, the champion grabs onto her arm and attempts to whip her across the ring. But Sophie shifts her weight and counters the hold into flip Morgan over with a hip toss. Immediately upon hitting the canvas, Morgan feels Sophie’s elbow land against her neck. COLE Sophie fighting with amazing resiliency and strength in her chase for the OAOAST Women’s Championship! Morgan pushes herself off the mat, her breathing labored by her sore neck. Sophie the pounces on her with elbow shots to the face. Those blows allow Sophie to wrap her arms around Morgan’s smooth bare legs and throw her down to the canvas with a flapjack! As the fans approve of the move, Sophie makes another pin attempt…. UN! DEUX! Morgan again kicksout! She leaps back upright but is tagged by rapidfire jabs from Sophie. Morgan tries to deflect the blows with her forearm, and though she’s successful, Sophie is able to get her arms around her thin waist and drive her backwards into the corner. A front facelock allows Sophie to lift her foe onto the top turnbuckle. Next, Sophie climb the turnbuckles to come face to face with Morgan. COLE What’s Sophie planning? Sophie’s grand attack never gets off the ground, thanks to Morgan violently shoving her off her perch. Sophie succeeds in landing on her feet, but she’s soon taken off those very same feet, by a diving lariat from the Nerdly girl. Morgan manages a small frown as she looks towards a foe writhing in pain. Morgan then crawls over to her and raises her up off the mat. An irish whip sends Sophie into the ropes. The cables spew her back towards the challenger who spring forward. But Sophie moves her arm with the speed of cheetah and catches Morgan in the middle of the eyes with a leaping foream. “VIVA SOOOOPHIE! VIVA SOOOOOOPHIE! VIVA SOOOOOOPHIE! Sophie offers a kind smile to her chanting fans, as she awaits Morgan’s rise. Once the inspector is fully upright, Sophie slides her arms around her torso in a waistlock. She lifts Morgan up for a German Suplex but the teenage champion perfectly counters this by rolling forward and snatching Sophie into an ankle lock! The European challenger franticly scrambles across the ring, finding the ropes before Morgan can cause her any serious harm. Incredibly frustrated with the escape, Morgan scowls as she batters Sophie’s back with stomps. COLE So far its been a pretty even back and forth match. COACH That’s just ‘cause Morgan ain’t unleashed her electrical superpowers, she gonna blackout half of Qubec when she unleashes dem thangs. At the referee’s insistence Morgan backs off Sophie. She bounces back and forth on her heels, eagerly waiting Sophie’s rise. As the challenger is half way off the mat, Morgan runs forward and raises her leg up in order to punt Sophie in the head. But Sophie pulls back and Morgan misses entirely. She wildly careens forward, slamming on the breaks to prevent her from totally toppling over. This is a wasted effort though as Sophie rolls her up into a pinfall…. UN! DEUX! Morgan rolls out of the pin, her aggravated face shielded by strings of her golden hair. Sophie hops upright and waves her on. Morgan accepts this challenge and comes surging forward with lariat. But Sophie ducks the move, coming up behind Morgan and easily able to dropkick her in the back. The Nerdly girl stumbles forward landing against the turnbuckles. She’s dosesn’t remain trapped for very long, as Sophie sends her back to the ground with a German suplex. “Qu-est que vous chantez?” “NOUS CHANTONS SOPHIE!” “QU-EST QUE VOUS CHANTEZ?” “NOUS CHANTONS SOPHIE!” Sophie rolls back upright with Morgan in her possession. But Morgan is highly unwilling to remain trapped by Sophie and whips her head back to stun Sophie with a violent head BUTT. The fans and Sophie shriek at the violent move, which draws a further frown from Morgan. She strikes Sophie in the leg with a series of sharp and dangerous kicks. Weakening her with those blows, Morgan takes Sophie onto her shoulders in set up of her finisher. But Sophie somehow succeeds in slipping out the hold! Taking advantage of her escape, she bounds to the ropes. Coming back to Morgan she leaps at her for cross body block. But Morgan catches her by surprise by swiftly moving to take Sophie onto her shoulders. COLE This could be very bad for Sophie! And it is very bad once Morgan slams her downward with the Shock and Awe (FU)! The fans almost leap back in their seats, faced with Morgan’s powerful finisher. Morgan then hooks the leg for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! THREE DING DING DING Morgan rolls off Sophie as her hard driving entrance song comes into the arena. Her hands rest on her knees and she sighes in miserey and exhaustion, barely able to focus on the title that’s being handed to her.

The entrance will be simillar to this! except you'll be entering through this if someone doesn't know who that logo is for, I WILL STRAIGHT UP SOUL CLAP THEM OFF THIS GALAXY!

On the real tip for a moment, where the heck is EWC?