Patty O'Green

BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen your next contest is Cucaracha Internacional versus Cucaracha Internacional, for the OAOAST UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first at this time, your special guest referee. "We're running with the Shadows Of The Night So baby take my hand, you'll be alright Surrender all your dreams to me tonight They'll come true in the end" Smiling from ear to ear, Landon Maddix strides through the entrance with arms outstretched and soaks up the atmosphere from the crowd. Nevermind that the atmosphere is all negative towards him, he's used to it by now. Maddix shows off his referee's shirt as he makes his way down the aisle, cutely personalised with a CI logo. Just incase anyone forgot the point of the match I suppose. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the leader of Cucaracha Internacional, LANDON "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMMMMMAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE And the question is, just how is Landon going to call this one? He insists he's only agreed to be the referee to keep things under control, fair and friendly, as his vision for this match is. However, you KNOW that Blonde had an alterior motive behind asking Landon to be referee and remember when Cortez heard about it, he seemed happy about it too, so you wonder what he's thinking will happen. Landon makes his usual grand, spinning entrance into the ring, referee duties or not. COACH Deep down, I'm sure Landon knows what he's doing. COLE That's been a point of debate for many years, but that's another story. With his grand referee entrance over with Landon starts to lead the applause for those actually involved in the match. "The Church Of Hot Addiction hits to play out the first of them. James Blonde, outdoing his mentor by wearing a black jacket covered in what must be dozens of Cucaracha Internacional logos. Blonde makes a determined walk to the ring, although he can't seem to completely hide a smile at seeing Landon applauding for him. BUFFER Introducing at this time, the challenger this evening. From Vancouver, British Columbia Canada and weighing two hundred, eight pounds. One third of the reigning OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions... he is "THE TRENDSETTER"... JJJAAAAAAAAMMMMMMEEEEESSSSSSS... BBLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOONNDDEEEEEEEE!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE The man who pestered for this match and got it, at the expence of another Cucaracha Internacional member Nathaniel Black. Blonde has been usurped as #2 to Landon ever since Todd Cortez won the US Title in January and he simply can't handle it. So he's now setting out to win the belt, so he can be the favourite again. Making him one of the very few men in OAOAST history to conduct himself like a spoilt, forgotten middle child. Climbing into the ring Blonde does a little mini-version of Landon's entrance spin, which pretty much describes him right there. Landon continues to applaud and Blonde couldn't be happier as he skins off his entrance jacket. Unfortunately, the applause doesn't stop when the music does. And Landon keeps on applauding when "Oh No" hits, suddenly making James feel a little less special. BUFFER And his opponent! Hailing from Hollywood Boulevard... weighing in tonight at two hundred, twenty six pounds. The reigning and defending OAOAST UNITED STATES CHAMPION... "THE URBAN LEGEND"... TTOOOOOOODD... CCOOOOOORRRRRRRRTTEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Cortez makes a typical no-nonsense approach to the ring and rolls in under the bottom rope, climbing the turnbuckles with US Title overhead. COACH You forgot to mention how this guy is intent of breaking Cucaracha Internacional up and using his new standing with Landon to screw everything up for everybody. COLE Well even if that were the case, could you blame him? It was a year ago that Cortez lost to Landon at AngleMania, forcing him to become a member of Cucaracha Internacional against his will. Landon has spent the succeeding 12 months trying to mould and conform Cortez, mainly because he knows what a threat he was when he was against him. Cortez has been held back had his career manipulated, right up until winning the US Title, when suddenly he became useful again to Landon. Handing over the US Title to his once enemy, Cortez goes back into his corner and Landon holds the belt to the crowd. COLE Looks like Landon's been studying his referee tapes. COACH Hopefully he's been studying his guest referee tapes and knows when to pretend he's got something in his eye or he's pulled a muscle or something. Unfortunately, Landon seems to think Cortez has genuinely fallen in line. I just hope something finally clicks tonight. Landon calls the two men out of their corners and motions for them to start things off with a handshake. COLE Oh, I'm not sure that's going to go down well. Looking sceptical at best, Blonde and Cortez just stare at Landon for a second as they realise he's dead serious. Leaving neither with must choice. And what follows is one of the most reluctant handshakes in wrestling history, the arms inching together as if they were two magnets being forced together at the wrong points. Apparantly that's good enough for Landon though and with the handshake over he calls for the bell, missing the disgusted look on Blonde's face at what he just had to do. *DINGDINGDING!* COLE Alright, that's the formalities out of the way. And that handshake could be the last friendly exchange we see in this one, I predict it won't be long before the clear hatred between Blonde and Cortez explodes here, no matter if Landon is in there with them or not. COACH Hate to say it, but you're right. Both Cortez and Blonde walk into the centre of the ring with far from friendly expressions on their face. They meet in the centre and it's Blonde doing all the talking. But Cortez is clearly trying to goad Blonde and doesn't need to say anything to do it, offering him the first shot. Blonde balls up his fist ready to deliver it, but thinks twice about the closed fist with Landon watching... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...allowing Todd to chop him across the chest! COLE That's a stinger. Blonde doesn't waste time in complaining to the referee about the unfair shot, but Blonde's pleas for Landon to see Todd's true colours fall on deaf ears. For what it's worth, Todd just innocently shrugs his shoulders. And Landon does to, saying it was a fair open hand. Seeing red, Blonde stomps towards Cortez... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and gets chopped again! COLE Landon's getting played here, from both sides. And he simply doesn't realise it. Blonde's trying to play favourites with him, Cortez is trying to play innocent, all Landon sees is fame and spotlight for Cucaracha Internacional. Getting no help from Landon, Blonde wheels around and charges at Cortez. The Urban Legend easily sidesteps though and catches Blonde coming back off the ropes... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...with another knifedge, forcing Blonde to roll out to the floor! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE And so far it's Cortez doing the better job of playing, because Blonde is getting frustrated early! COACH Call it playing people, I call it sneaky! Cortez is sneaky! Blonde's the only one who gets it and nobody'll listen to him! Blonde takes a walk around ringside to cool off, mentally and physically with his chest reddening. Showing no favourites Landon lays a count on The Trendsetter. Back in by 5, Blonde says enough's enough and it's time to get serious. The CI members go to lock up, only for Blonde to catch Cortez with a knee to the midsection. An elbow to the back of the head is followed by a forearm, Blonde then hitting the ropes. Leapfrog by Cortez, dropping down as Blonde comes back. Blonde rebounds again and goes for a crossbody, but Cortez catches and dumps him, face-first! With Blonde on his knees Cortez then rears back with a hard kick to the already hurting chest! COLE Cortez, a lethal striker. Something which Blonde has to avoid, because he definately can't match up to it. Retreating into a corner it's clear Blonde is winded already... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and another chop doesn't help. COACH Enough with the chops! COLE And as far as Landon's concerned, this is all healthy competition. Irish whip sends Blonde across the ring, looking to go up and over. Cortez times his run perfectly to catch Blonde over his shoulder. But as he carries Blonde away from the corner, the Canadian manages to escape and counter with an armdrag takeover on his way down! COACH There we go JB! Blonde waits for Todd to get up and runs in... ...and DUCKS a chop, pointing to his head so Landon gets how smart he is... ...completely forgetting about Cortez, who levels him with an Enziguri!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE If Blonde's going to spend this match trying to show off to impress the referee, he's not going to stand much chance of leaving US Champion. As Landon looks on, The Urban Legend picks Blonde back up and rocks him with a European uppercut. Irish whip sets him up for a flying back elbow attack, trying the cover... 1... 2... Two only, as Landon DRAMATICALLY shows to the timekeeper. COLE Nice to see Landon's not milking his part. COACH Well it's not like he's got a match this year, might as well make the most of his spotlight. Cortez brings Blonde up by his straggly hair again, getting a sympathetic warning from hair-caring Landon. Once Blonde's upright Todd attacks the knees, firing kicks into the back of Blonde's left leg. Once he's down to a knee Cortez steps around and goes for another kick to the chest, but Blonde blocks with his forearms and elbows Cortez in the gut. Blonde quickly hops to his feet and hits the ropes, but is slowed up enough for Todd to counter with a Powerslam! 1... 2... No! Lining up Blonde, Cortez goes for a clothesline but it's ducked. Recovering, a boot stops Blonde and Todd comes off the ropes looking for the clothesline again. This time Blonde leapfrogs... and goes down, clutching his knee. COACH Uh-oh! We've got an injury. COLE You reckon? Blonde quickly waves Landon over and claims to have "heard a pop", which would be a rarity (HI-YO!). Cortez is having none of it though. MADDIX Back up Todd, give him a second. CORTEZ Come on, it's the oldest trick in the book. Hell, he probably learnt it from you in the first place. Subscribing to this likely theory Landon tells Blonde to get back up, apparantly not impressed at his understudy's lack of imagination. Blonde tries to protest, but ends up getting schoolboyed by Cortez... 1... 2... No! Back up, Blonde is put back down with a European uppercut. COLE This isn't working out so well for Blonde thus far. COACH Don't worry. Sooner or later, those instincts are going to kick in and Landon's going to realise what he needs to do. COLE You mean help Blonde win? COACH Exactly. For the greater good. Cortez whips Blonde into a corner and follows in, but Blonde raises a knee to block! COACH Alright, come on James. Climbing to the second rope Blonde reaches out, grabbing onto Cortez's head. He leaves the turnbuckles and guides Cortez face-first into the mat! Suddenly a smile re-appears and Blonde is in control. Although he quickly remembers to add a little limp to his walk, trying to keep up the pretense of the 'injured knee'. MADDIX It's okay, I'm cool with it. Knee magically healed Blonde rushes to pick Todd up, delivering a quick suplex. 1... 2... No! Sitting Cortez up, Blonde comes off the ropes with a dropkick to the back of the head and tries again... 1... 2... No! With Cortez now hurting Blonde can afford to take his time, measuring him with a kneedrop to the back of the head. And then a second. Blonde applies a rear chinlock, calling Landon in to check for a submission. COACH Wouldn't this just be the perfect result, Cortez being made to submit by JB and Landon the one to ring the bell. COLE I think it'll take more than a chinlock to be honest. Blonde smiles away, clearly enjoying his time in the ascendancy with Landon there to see it all. But Cortez eventually starts to get to his feet. Trying to cut him off Blonde switches back behind, changing grip to a sleeper hold. That forces Cortez agonisingly back down to a knee and Blonde is smiling again. For a second, until Cortez surprises him with a jawbreaker counter! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Shaking away the effects of the sleeper Cortez comes off the ropes, but gets caught with a standing dropkick! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Cover by Blonde... 1... 2... No! COLE So far, Landon is calling this down the middle as he said he would. COACH Yeah but those maternal instincts are kicking in, I can feel it. COLE .... COACH Paternal! Paternal. ...I didn't say maternal. Paternal. Encouraging Cortez to get back to his feet Blonde licks his lips, enjoying himself as he delivers a right hand. Landon warns his understudy about using a closed fist, encouraging him to "keep it clean". Irony if ever there were. Of course Blonde listens to him, instead booting Todd in the face while knelt in front of him. That just seems to get Todd angry though and he stands right up, getting in a surprised Blonde's face. COLE Here we go, tempers are flaring! Blonde rears back and delivers a forearm, but Todd is still up. So, ignoring Landon's orders for maybe the first time ever, Blonde throws a right hand. Todd staggers back gets right back face to face... so Blonde goes to the eyes! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Showing ever more hypocricy as the match goes on, Landon pulls Blonde aside and lectures him about the eyepoke. COLE Landon having a bit of a word with his underbelly... uhm, understudy. Funny how the wrong word comes out sometimes, isn't it Coach? COACH I will mess you up. The Indianapolis crowd, sensing some problems, cheer on hoping that one or the other will react. But it's all resolved nice and calm, Blonde with head bowed and apologising all through Landon's talk. Once the disciplining is over Blonde is allowed back to the action, grabbing Cortez and whipping him into a corner. Blonde flicks back his hair and follows in with a clothesline, hooking up for the follow-up bulldog... but Cortez catches him... and SITS OUT, planting Blonde face-first into the canvas!! COLE OH! Almost an inverted version of Todd's Sitout Spinebuster, more of a sitout faceplant instead. Cortez gets back to his feet and the capacity crowd come alive, seeing the intense look on his face. He waits for Blonde to get back up, dazed... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and chops him back into a corner! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Another chop lands in the corner! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And then a third! COLE Todd Cortez, lighting up his supposed stablemate in the corner! Wringing the arm The Urban Legend whips Blonde across the ring. Not just any whip, but a whip with enough momentum to turn Blonde UPSIDE DOWN in the corner!! Ended up sat on the top turnbuckle, Blonde rolls back down, staggering out into an inverted atomic drop. COLE Crotch Droppah! Cortez then hits the ropes, wiping Blonde out with an STO!! COLE And a strong combination of moves, could that be all? 1... 2... NO! Cortez questions the count with Landon, who confirms it was two. COACH That count looked worryingly fair. Leaving the ring, Cortez stands out on the apron waiting for his Canadian challenger to get back up. Blonde does so just as Todd leaps to the top, connecting with a Springboard Clothesline! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Todd isn't done yet though and gives the signal for the end. COLE Here it comes, looking for the Riot Act Plus! COACH And if Landon's gonna act, now's the time! Don't let this happen! Dragging Blonde up by the hair Cortez sets him in a standing headscissors... ...and as Landon warns Todd about the hairpull, he's left unsighted to Blonde's headbutt below the belt!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH What did I tell you! All is good with the world! COLE I don't know if Landon was just out of position, or what, but he just missed a blatant lowblow from James Blonde! Tripping Cortez up Blonde then glances to Landon, who is apparantly oblivious to, amongst other things, the lowblow. The Trendsetter holds Cortez's legs aloft and gives his boss a very evident wink, before wrapping Todd up and applying a SHARPSHOOTER!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Blonde lets out a victorious cheer, as he calls for Landon to ring the bell. Instead, Landon goes to check for a submission. COACH YES! COLE Submission is applied, the Canadian move d'jour. But... I think Blonde was expecting something else. Confused, Blonde turns his head and again calls for Landon to ring the bell. Landon says that Todd hasn't given up yet, to which Blonde replies "who cares, just ring the bell!" Not getting it, Landon continues to check for a submission, so Blonde lets go of the hold to go talk with him. COLE I think Blonde was expecting Landon to just ring the bell. COACH Isn't that what usually happens in wrestling? COLE Sometimes. But it doesn't look like Landon is 'in' on the plan. Blonde continues to try and explain to Landon, with the word Montreal in there somewhere, before stomping back around to Cortez again. Again he goes to apply the Sharpshooter... but Cortez sits up and counters into an inside cradle! 1... 2... NO!!! COLE Oh, Blonde almost got caught right there! Both men scramble to their feet and Blonde gets caught by the throat, goozled! Cortez grabs the back of the tights for leverage, lifting Blonde for the URBAN ASSAUL... NO! Blonde spins free, landing to Todd's side. The US Champion turns around and is met with a SUPERKICK!! COACH Got him! Blonde covers, Landon in position... 1... 2... KICKOUT!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Blonde resists the temptation to argue about the count, since it's his idol responsible. But he's clearly not happy. "COR - TEZ!" "COR - TEZ!" "COR - TEZ!" "COR - TEZ!" Picking Cortez up, Blonde scoops and slams him before heading to the middle rope. Fist balled he measures Todd intently and looks for the Marty Jannetty Fistdrop... CORTEZ MOVES... but Blonde lands safely on his feet! With a grin, he loads up a clothesline. Cortez ducks though... and connects with a SUPERKICK OF HIS OWN!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Cover, Landon again quickly there... 1... 2... KICKOUT! COLE Only two, but again Landon with a fair count, no suggestion of a go-slow. COACH Well he knew Blonde would kickout. That's the only explanation. COLE Or maybe the explanation is, Blonde was hoping Landon would do him a favour tonight and it's not turning out that way. The US Champion sets himself looking for another kick, a thrust to the stomach this time. Gutwrench, looking to take Blonde up onto his shoulder, but the Canadian escapes and shoves Cortez forward into the corner. Cortez manages to block the collision. But the push does buy Blonde valuable time and he connects with a step-up enziguri when Todd turns around. BLONDE That's IT! COACH I think he said that's it. COLE Thanks. With Cortez seeing stars, Blonde pulls him in... lifting him up onto his shoulders in a fireman's carry. COLE Go To Sleep, are you kidding me!? COACH How poetic! Blonde carries Cortez into the middle of the ring, stops to make sure Landon's watching, then throws Todd up... ...and LOSES him! Cortez lands on his feet, booting Blonde in the gut AND SPIKING HIM WITH A SUDDEN RIOT ACT PLUS~!~!~! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH NO! Cortez covers and Landon puts aside his concerns for Blonde's well-being to count... 1... 2... COACH SWERVE, SWERVE... 3!!!!! COACH DANGIT! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" *DINGDINGDING!* With Blonde out cold, Cortez collects the US Title himself with Landon checking on The Trendsetter. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... and STILL OAOAST UNITED STATES CHAMPION... "THE URBAN LEGEND"... TTOOOOOOOOOODD... CCOOOOOOORRRRRRRRTTEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Todd Cortez wins the battle of Cucaracha Internacional here at AngleMania VIII and retains the United States Title in the progress. Which will not set well at all with James Blonde. ...oh well. COACH You can be such an ass sometimes. The poor guy's knocked out and here you are making fun of him? As Landon tries to lightly slap James back to consciousness, Cortez looks on. When Landon looks his way he forces a false look of concern, long enough for it not to be suspicious. COLE HAHAHA! COACH Come on! You're enjoying this!? COLE I know these great OAOAST Marks are enjoying it Coach! COACH I could punch you right now. For reals. Cortez waits until Blonde is sat up and semi-conscious before he leaves the ring, mainly because it allows him to flash a smile at his defeated challenger on the way. Blonde sees it and Landon doesn't, causing poor James to whine and complain with no real luck. We go backstage to Melody’s makeshift arcade housing more videogame systems than one could possibly play during a three hour show they’re paid to work at, Doing her civic duty while Maggie is tied up with other things is... "PLAYER ONE" MELODY NERDLY, OF COURSE! Melody stands with microphone in hand next to a rotund average looking and grizzly unshaven man. MELODY Wow! I don’t normally do this interview stuff because Maggie tried bury m to the producers, by saying I snort when I laugh really hard, but I couldn’t resist talking to this guy! Carl Slatkin, who defeated 32 other contestants and the OAOAST’s Tyler Bryant to take home the “King Of OAOAST No Homo” trophy last night at Anglemania fanfest. Carl, you rule the school, bucko! Tell us gaming fiends how did you do it? CARL When I first got No Homo I found I couldn’t properly dedicate myself to learning all the intricate techniques in the game. I realized I had to make sacrifices. I divorced my wife of 18 years, I put my dog to sleep, I sent my kids to move with my mother, I quit my job as a paralegal, and I sold my house, I'm living out of a van where I rigged up a TV to play No Homo at least 18 hours a day. MELODY You are my hero! CARL Haven’t seen my kids in two months, ex-wife despises me, I sleep in a 1989 dodge carvan down by the river. Yeah, I think I’m living the American Dream here. MELODY Best. Person. Ever.

I know too much! Too much! I know the winner to almost every match because I am the smartest kid in the whole wide world and you're all just not quite as smart as me. Sorry! I have to predict the one I don't know the winner for! Alfdogg Vs Reject-I'm going with Reject upsetting the hometown boy. Goddamn you Alf for not telling all your storyline plans to me like everyone else does! PRL Vs Leon Rodez-I kinda know the winner here, but in case I was told wrong I'm going with PRL getting the win back from NR.

We return from commercial with the "main man" of the OAOAST, ANGLESAULT, standing proudly in center ring, where a table has been set up. ANGLESAULT Tonight, it is my pleasure to welcome both champion and challenger out here, the two men who will compete for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at Anglemania VIII this Sunday. Here tonight, we will have the official contract signing. Allow me to introduce at this time, the challenger...BOHEMOTH~! "LIberate" hits, and the dapper destroyer comes out, looking smooth as always. A burst of cheers comes over the crowd as the Metrosexual Monster approaches the ring, his smirk prominent as fans lunge over the railing, trying to shake a hand or pat him on the back. Bo walks up the steps and greets Anglesault with a handshake, then shakes the ropes, working the crowd into more of a frenzy. "Getting Away With Murder" replaces his song, however, and the place ERUPTS, as the World Heavyweight Champion makes his way out as well. ANGLESAULT And now, the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...ZACK MALIBU! Anglesault looks all too proud as his successor, The Franchise of the OAOAST, walks down the aisle, clad in a trendy pinstripe suit. Zack is the picture of confidence as he stops before he enters the ring, noticing Bo eyeing the World Title. Zack enters the ring and shakes Anglesault's hand, then Bo's, a show of civility between the two friends despite that they are just days away from being on opposite sides of the ring. The two men, on opposite sides of the table, stare each other down. Bo can't seem to take his eyes off of the gold strap thrown over Zack's shoulder. ANGLESAULT Gentleman, this Sunday night, we are going to have a bit of Anglemania deja vu. Last year, Zack Malibu and Bohemoth, you two had a bit of a race going on...a friendly competition as you both worked your way back up the ladder of contention. On that night, one year ago, it was you, Bo, who walked away the winner, and it was you Zack, who had his shoulders pinned to the canvas. Bo smiles, and Malibu solemnly nods his head, vividly recalling the defeat in his mind. ANGLESAULT Now, fast forward to this Sunday, and not everything is exactly the same. You two are still two of the top athletes in the game today, and Zack, you have once again claimed the right to call yourself OAOAST World Champion. Bo, Zack has something that you want, that you've craved since the moment you walked thru the doors of this company as nothing more than a heavy for Christian Wright. You've long had championship aspirations, but little did you know that in order to get there, you'd have to go through this man, one of your closest friends. BO Honestly, when my time came, I didn't care who I had to go through. Friend, foe, it didn't matter, and it still doesn't. Defeating you for that belt Zack isn't going to change anything. I'm still going to respect you, I'm still going to go over to you and shake your hand when it's all said and done. There's no bitterness, no resentment, nothing except an opportunity that has presented itself to me. The past few months have seen a bit of turmoil and tragedy, and The In Crowd hasn't been the same due to it. You beat Leon, which is something that you never thought you'd have to do. You were in my position just a few months ago, Zack. You know what it's like. But in our business, friendship or not, you have to pick your spots, take your chances, and roll the dice. I have been training. I've been studying tapes that go back to when GreenMist and Mario Logan were relevant. I'm not saying that I've gotten you totally figured out, Zack, I'm just saying that I feel it in my heart that I can beat you Sunday night. Conversations grow throughout the crowd, as Bo has made a profound statement against his opponent, who now looks to respond. MALIBU Bo, you are a hell of a talent. And as far as walking through the doors as Christian Wright's heavy, you've come a long way since then. You've grown to respect this place, and more importantly, this belt. You don't want this belt for any reason other than to prove yourself. Money, power, none of that matters to you. It's just that you want to show the world that you are what you say you are. That you are capable, and that you are deserving of bearing the torch of this company as its leader. Now, its a fact that you beat me last year. Its a fact that you won our little series, and went on a tear. You've made quite the name for yourself in the OAOAST, and 2008 and 2009 thus far have only furthered that sentiment. I'm priveleged to be defending against a deserving talent such as yourself at Anglemania this year, but I'm also a little sad. I'm sad that as a friend, I won't get to see you live out your dream. I'm sad that I have to be the one to break your heart and spirit. I'm sad to tell you that you will NOT be leaving Anglemania with my belt! More buzzing in the crowd, as tensions mount. BO I like that confidence, Zack. But maybe its not my dream that's going to be shattered on Sunday. MALIBU Looks like the confidence is an epidemic. That's a good thing, because don't doubt yourself for a second. You are one of the best I've ever seen, and one of the best this company has ever had. At Anglemania though, I'm going to be just *thatmuch* better than you. BO For the sake of your title reign, Zack, I wish you well with that. Bring your best. You just better hope its good enough. With that, Bo signs the contract, and slides it over to Zack, who leans over and signs as well. The two men lock eyes again, and then a handshake seals the deal, as Anglesault takes the contract. ANGLESAULT Ladies and gentlemen, your Anglemania main event! Zack Malibu, Bohemoth, the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE ON THE LINE! Zack's theme music hits, and Bo eyes him as he goes up on the ropes and raises the belt over his head, working the crowd into a frenzy as he salutes them all. COLE Could this be the last time that Zack Malibu celebrates with that championship here on HeldDOWN~! And could the outcome of Anglemania tear this friendship apart? We'll get those questions answered on Sunday night, when the OAOAST brings you Anglemania VIII, LIVE on Pay Per View~! FADE OUT

PRESENTED IN HD FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- COLE Folks HeldDOWN~! is on the air just days before the biggest event in sports and entertainment, Anglemania! Hello, everybody I'm Michael Cole joined at sofa central with the one and only Coach Johnathan Coachman! Coach, we have a red hot show tonight, don't we? COACH I used the script as a napkin for my spare ribs, so I wouldn't know anything about that. The Last Kings of Scotland, wearing leather jackets and blue and white kilts, march ringside under dark blue and white lights to the tune of “Protect Your Mind” by DJ Sakin & Friends. OAOAST Marks along the aisle and front row on high alert as Scottish Scott wildly swings his spiked club. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, Europe’s finest athletes, at a total combine weight of 430 pounds… DANNY BOY and “THE BRAVEHEART” SCOTTISH SCOTT… THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The proud Scotsman raises his club with one hand and pounds his chest with the other while his partner sings "Danny Boy". COLE Oh, brother. COACH No, it’s “Oh Danny Boy,” you idiot. COLE I’m referring to Danny Boy’s singing, or what he calls singing. Thankfully our ears are spared further torture as “Citizen Soldier” by 3 Doors Down hits. BUFFER And their opponents! First, from Peoria, Illinois, wrestling’s last real good guy… TIM CCAAAAAASSSSHHHHHH! His tag team partner, hailing from San Antonio, Texas… “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BBAAAAARRRRROOOOOOOOOONN WINDELS! Collectively they are CITIZEN SOOOOLDIERS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Needless to say, Baron Windels and Tim Cash do a lot of hand slapping on their jog down the aisle. COLE We’re about set to go with a strange one. I say that because the Last Kings of Scotland claim Citizen Soldiers stuck their nose where it didn’t belong one week ago in their match against the Orange County Cobras. COACH Well they’ve got a point. It got them disqualified. COLE Yes, they lost by DQ, but it was because of V.I.C.E. And thanks to them Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard have been put on the shelf. COACH They can use the break, like say forever! Off comes both team’s respective entrance attire and the bell sounds. * DINGDINGDING * Baron Windels receives a quick high-five from Tim Cash as Scottish Scott places his club in the LKOS corner, but it‘s Danny Boy who‘ll start for his team. That out of the way the two lockup and the Lone Star Gunslinger is easily able to execute a body slam, and then another. Danny rushes to his feet and into a BIG BOOT that knocks him backwards! COLE Danny Boy wandering around like he’s had a few too many after that one. COACH Oh yeah, because all Irishman are drunks, right? You probably think I like watermelon and fried chicken too. Well I do. But you’re racist for thinking it! Dazed and confused Danny Boy tags out. And his replacement Scottish Scott wants Tim Cash and gets him. Of course Timmy offers to shake hands. Scott thinks it over, spits on the palm of his hand and then goes through with the handshake. TIM That wasn’t very nice. SCOTTISH SCOTT You know what else isn’t nice? Apparently a kick to the gut, that‘s what. The fighting Scotsman clubs Tim across the shoulders and shoots him off. Cash ducks a clothesline and scores with a BACKBRAIN WHEELKICK! Scott tumbles outside while oh Danny Boy comes in to pickup the load, but gets thrown like a sack of potatoes by a hip toss. The Irishman finds himself in the wrong side of town and Baron Windels unloads with a Cowboy Bebop (bionic) elbow! COACH Come on, referee. Do your job. It’s 2 on 1. Tim arm drags Danny Boy back where he came from, and then dropkicks him over the top rope. But when he goes to bring Scottish Scott back in he takes a SPIKED CLUB to the face! COLE Can you believe that?! COACH Accidents happen. It’s not Scotty’s fault Tim Cash is so clumsy he fell into a spiked club. Unfortunately Baron Windels didn’t see Tim get clubbed, only him falling back. Shocked he’s slow to react as Tim, now busted open, is covered. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * Baron dives on Scottish Scott but is obviously too late. BUFFER Here are your winners… THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The Last Kings immediately seek higher ground, hands raised in victory thanks to Scottish Scott’s spiked club which he proudly displays for all to see. Baron Windels left kneeling over his fallen partner. COACH A hard earned win for the Last Kings of Scotland. COLE Hard earned win? They stole one! COACH Quit being a sore loser, Cole. Citizen Soldiers lost. Accept it. COLE I promise you there’ll be hell to pay if these two teams ever meet up again.

BOLDLY GOING WHERE NO ANGLEMANIA HAS GONE BEFORE TO INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA OAOAST WORLD TITLE: ZACK MALIBU VS BOHEMOTH III KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS MISTER DICK WITH SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE LINDSAY LOHAN ALFDOGG VS REJECT PRL VS LEON RODEZ UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP: TODD CORTEZ VS JAMES BLONDE WITH SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE LANDON MADDIX OAOAST TAG TITLES: LDC $MONEYGANG$ VS TEAM HEYROSS MORGAN NERDLY VS JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN 12 TEAM TAG TEAM GAUNTLET

"Renegade" by Jay-Z and Eminem hits and to boos, the fighting fit form of Melissa Nerdly punches out clad in boxing gear ready for Women's Title competition. Melissa throws some shadow punches, before pointing one of her boxing gloves to the entrance. Heralding the arrival of celebrity Deadly Alliance member LINDSAY LOHAN, to the clear surprise of the crowd! BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall and it is for the OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, now hailing from The Bronx. She represents The Deadly Alliance and is your challenger for the evening... ladies and gentlemen... MMMEEEELLLLLLLLIIIIIISSSSAAAAAAAAA... NNEEEEERRRRRRRDDLLLLLYYYYYY!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Earlier today we caught up to get some comments from Melissa and... Lindsay Lohan of all people! OAOAST A small square box SWOOPS~ in and settles on the upper right hand side of the picture. In front of the OAOAST HeldDOWN~! backdrop stands Melissa and her new Hollywood friend. The murmurs off camera indicate there's a lot of security and/or reporters around. MELISSA Jade Rodez-Duncan. We finally meet. Ever since Josie Baker kindly granted me this title shot, I've been waiting, anticipating this match with baited breath. Everybody in this company makes you out as the sweet, wholesome girl next door atop the women's division. And who knows, maybe you are. But you're also guilty by association. Guilty of your family messing around with my sisters' miserable lives. And guilty of showing disrespect to my friend here, Lindsay Lohan. Melissa wraps an arm around Lindsay, who reciprocates. MELISSA Tonight I can't wait to gain some retribution. Not for my family, but for my wronged friend. First you tonight, then your mother on Sunday at the hands of Mister Dick. I guess it's true what they say, you can't choose your family... and you can't choose who beats you to a pulp thanks to them either! Melissa laughs, still wrapped up with Lindsay. HELDDOWN~! COACH Say, Lindsay's into girls now, right? COLE So I'm told. COACH I see. You okay calling this one on your own? COLE Feel free to jump in when you're done. I'm sure the match'll still be going. As Melissa warms up in the ring Lindsay is guided to her seat next to Michael Buffer's at the timekeeper's table, where there's plenty of security. Lindsay looks over her shoulder at the crowd before catching a thumbs up from Melissa and returning it with a smile. COLE I guess these two are 'BFFs' ever since that defamation job of an interview they did last week. COACH Put it this way, I bet Melissa's a better friend than Krista ever was. "Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name" The lights flash purple and often as "When I Grow Up" by The Pussycat Dolls hits, to a roar from the crowd. Energetically pushing through the entrance way Jade punches her fists to the crowd, showing off the Women's Title around her waist. Spotting a sign in the crowd professing true love for her she smiles and waves in that direction, clearly well trained in P.R. matters nowadays. That's public relations, by the way, not the guy. BUFFER And her opponent, now residing in Los Angeles, California! The second generation starlet with a heart of gold... ladies and gentlemen, she is the reigning and defending OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION... "LITTLE MISS CALIFORNIA"... JJJJAAAAAAADDEEEEEE... RRRRROOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZ - DDUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAANN!!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Jade slides herself into the ring under the bottom rope, a wary eye on Melissa as she climbs the turnbuckles and unbuckles the Women's Title belt. COLE One of the most popular personalities in all of the OAOAST, Jade Rodez-Duncan! Women's Champion of seven months and counting and you can tell, she couldn't be happier right now. Jumping from the turnbuckles, Jade hands away her Women's Title to referee Charles Robinson. Most of the attention seems to be on Lindsay though, who waves as she's pestered for photos by nearby fans. COLE Oh yeah, she's not spotlight obsessed in the slightest. It's all the media's fault, all people like Krista. COACH Exactly! She's just an ordinary girl caught up in other people's drama. COLE Then why's she even here tonight? The live crowd and TV cameras are just a coincidence? COACH A bangable Hollywood superstar is willingly showing up, gracing us with her presence for a pro wrestling show featuring such luminary showbiz figures as Biff Atlas and you're COMPLAINING!? The hell's wrong with you!? *DINGDINGDING!* In the midst of all this the bell sounds and a wrestling match has started. Which some people in the crowd decide they should take notice of. COLE So Jade and Melissa, Women's Title on the line. Jade and Melissa lock up, the champion quickly taking her challenger to the mat with a side headlock takeover. Not the most well-versed wrestler Melissa finds herself stuck for an escape and throws a little fit at being taken down. She does figure it out eventually, reaching up and grabbing Jade's blond hair and using it to pull her over... 1... 2... No! Back in control Jade complains about the hairpull, but gets caught by the same trick... 1... 2... No! Referee Robinson begins to get suspicious and warns Melissa, who gets back to her feet. Melissa manages to shove Jade off of her, but makes the mistake of relaxing, not expecting Jade to come back off the ropes with a shoulder knockdown. Hitting the ropes again Jade goes up and over a dropdown. Melissa rushes to her feet and sets herself looking to strike. Jade ducks underneath a spinning wheel kick though, booting Melissa as she whirls around and delivering a vertical suplex! Cover... 1... 2... No! As soon as she's out of the pin, Melissa rolls for the safety of the arena floor nursing her back. COLE Melissa out to the floor and Lindsay Lohan looks worried. COACH What's that supposed to mean? COLE Well, nothing, I ju... COACH Worried how? Nervous worried? Panic worried? Financially worried? That's slander pal, watch your mouth. Melissa takes her time on the outside, making sure to let Lindsay know that she's okay. Eventually Melissa re-enters the ring and Jade's hesitance to go after her costs the Women's Champion, as Melissa lies in wait to deliver a punch to the stomach. Turning Jade up against the turnbuckles, Melissa uses the top rope for leverage as she delivers a couple of roundhouse kicks to the ribs, then places her boot against Jade's windpipe! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" Breaking, Melissa whips Jade across the ring. She follows in looking for a corner clothesline, but Jade kicks her feet up to block. Melissa is left favouring her arm as Jade goes to the middle rope. Before she can attack, Jade's foot is grabbed by Melissa and she's VIOLENTLY pulled from the ropes!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Melissa tries to capitalise with a pin... 1... 2... NO! COLE Jade landed very awkwardly there and this could be the opening for Melissa. Pulling Jade back up, Melissa rams her back into the turnbuckles. And drives the shoulder in again. Jade sinks to one knee and Melissa measures her, delivering a kick to the chest. COACH Looks like Linds is enjoying herself now. Jade falls to the side as Melissa stands on the back, pinning her throat against the bottom rope. COACH Oh yeah! She's really gotta be enjoying this! COLE Did you just call her 'Linds' a minute ago? I knew she was associating with some strange characters recently, I didn't realise you were one of them. After breaking before five again Melissa tries to defuse the situation with the referee. Melissa then turns and plays to the crowd with the match well in hand. Lindsay applauds her friend from her ringside seat, time even for Melissa to strike up conversation with the Hollywood wildchild. However, help is at hand for Jade. From the unusual source of MORGAN NERDLY, who has run to the ring and beats on the apron shouting words of encouragement for Jade. COLE Well, this is rather odd. Morgan out here cheering on Jade? COACH Yeah, what's up with that. Melissa turns away from Lindsay and is strikingly surprised at the sight of her unstable sister's appearance. So much so, she keeps herself out of arms reach as she grabs Jade, dragging her away into the middle of the ring. Scoop and a slam plants Jade, Melissa off the ropes with a legdrop and covering... 1.. 2... No! Slowly Melissa picks Jade up, half an eye on Morgan all the time. COLE I don't really know what to make of Morgan's presence here at ringside and it seems neither can her sister. Clearly distracted, Melissa scoops and slams Jade again nearer to a corner. She scales to the middle rope and prepares to drop a big elbow, but Morgan suddenly runs around the ring towards her older sister. That stops Melissa, long enough for Jade to get back up and elbow her in the gut. Reaching up, Jade then pulls Melissa off the turnbuckles, sitting out with the Iconoclasm! COLE Californication from Jade, thanks to Morgan. COACH I think this nut still thinks her and Jade are friends! Hook of the leg from Jade... 1... 2... NO! "JADE!" "JADE!" "JADE!" "JADE!" Both girls fight to their feet, with Morgan joining in on the crowd's chant. COLE Looks like the Women's Champion is beginning to feed off of this positive energy. Back up, Melissa swings at Jade with a right hand. Jade ducks and paws the challenger with an open left hand. And then paws her with an open right. With a guttural shout, Jade then pulls a 360 and knocks Melissa down with a big clothesline! COLE Exclusive: Rich Little Blonde Girl Kicks Ass! A boot to the gut awaits Melissa when she gets back up, setting her in place. Jade applies a cobra clutch, looking to put her challenger across the knee for the backbreaker. However Melissa manages to run Jade backwards, driving her into the turnbuckles! Sandwiched in, Jade is winded and suffers further from Melissa ramming her backwards three more times in quick succession. Melissa breaks away to hit the ropes, charging at Jade who staggers out from the turnbuckles. Melissa lunges looking for a Spear... but Jade surprises everyone by ducking out of the way! And Melissa faceplants off the canvas. COACH Don't look Lindsay! Grabbing the ropes to pull herself up, Melissa finds herself face to face with Morgan... ...a momentary distraction, enough for Jade to grab the back of the head and pull Morgan down with the reverse x-factor! COLE That's gonna do it! 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match and STILL OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION... JJAAAAADDEEEEE RROOOODDEEEEZZZZZ - DDUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAANNNNN!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Jade's hand is raised in victory... ...but her celebration is short-lived, as Melissa attacks from behind! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Now there's no call for that! A vengeful Melissa starts to put the boots to Jade, but only gets in two full shots before freezing at the sight of Morgan in front of her! Eyes widening, Melissa falls onto her BUTT and scrambles out of the ring as fast as possible, frantically waving for security to get Lindsay the hell out of the vicinity. Morgan watches on with steely eyes. COLE Boy, Melissa wanted no part of Morgan. And I guess Lindsay Lohan will have to wait until this Sunday to get her revenge on Krista, maybe. COACH Yeah, but Jade might not be around to see it. In the ring Jade starts to get to her feet, thanking Morgan for her help. However Morgan offers no real assistance to her friend. Infact, there's a strangely cold look in her eyes as Jade gets up in front of her. COLE I don't like the looks of this. Neither does Jade, clearly worried about what's going on. It's at this point though that Morgan's face begins to sink, from stoicism to sadness. Jade looks around, still a little nervous, as Morgan's head hangs. COLE Morgan... clearly rather troubled. Seeing young Morgan like this Jade begins to soften and places a comforting hand on Morgan's shoulder. The words "I'm sorry" can be heard muttered low under Morgan's breath as Jade continues to check if she's okay. Which she clearly isn't. So Jade loses all of her reservations, stepping forward and giving a hug to her friend. That's when Morgan starts to adjust her sleeve. *bzzt* Low, but audible, a jolt. Jade's body suddenly spasms and to shrieks of horror, she hits the mat. Her arms clutch at her midsection and she curls up into a ball. COLE Oh god... As Jade lays on the mat, boos ring out. But then turn to an uncomfortable silence at the sight of Jade writhing in pain and moaning, crying in pain. Morgan's head begins to rise and with tears welling up in her eyes she stares at the fallen Women's Champion, before falling to one knee. MORGAN What did I do? WHAT DID I DO!? YOU MADE ME DO THIS!!!! Morgan falls into a seated position and starts tugging at her own hair, before wrapping her arms around herself, as if hugging herself. Inches away Jade starts to cough and splutter, an unsettling sight which draws a group of referees from backstage. Four of them, all entering the ring but clearly wary of getting too close to Morgan and encouraging her to calm down. Morgan stands up and eyes the referees, no longer crying, instead trying to explain herself, repeating that "she made me do it". Meanwhile Jade continues coughing, clearly in a seriously bad way. Thankfully, Morgan ducks through the ropes at this point and leaves the ring at this point. Immediately the referees swarm to Jade and EMTs rush a stretcher to the ring, right past Morgan who backs slowly up the aisle watching this unfold. MORGAN I'm sorry... I'm sorry... The EMTs kneel at Jade's side and an oxygen mask is placed over her face, still clammed up in a ball and clutching her midsection. *COMMERCIAL BREAK* We return to Sofa Central, a very serious Sofa Central with Michael Cole and Coach both wearing worried expressions. COLE Uhm... welcome back to HeldDOWN~! and very... unsettling scenes we just witnessed. During the break, Jade was treated by EMTs in the ring after... what we suspect was an attack, as we've seen before from Morgan Nerdly, with some kind of electrical device. Uhh... we don't have any word as of yet as to Jade's condition and we don't plan on showing you any footage of what occured during the break, because it was not comfortable viewing... many OAOAST superstars such as Jade's friends Tyler Bryant and Shayne Brave as well as Bohemoth were out here and it was clear to all that Jade was in serious pain, which is self-evident I suppose. We'll try and get you an update as soon as we possibly can but all we know is that she's been taken to a local medical facility to be checked out and we... we move on with the show, if we can.

COLE Welcome back folks, I am currently on satellite feed with The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club, who have been MIA, totally against company orders for two weeks. We’ve finally caught up with them in this can’t be right… Edinburgh, Scotland, United Kingdom Oh its right, Mister Cole. RICO DE JANERIO LUCIUS SOUL and QUEEN ESTHER Really do reside in the throne room of the world famous castle. COLE Before security kicks them out and confiscates their passports we ought to begin. Lucius, Rico, Queen Esther- QUEEN ESTHER (seeing the monitor for the first time) The magic mirror is talking! Hello, Magic Mirror, hello! RICO That ain’t a magic mirror, chica, that’s bitch tits Mikey Cole. Watchu want with the Hellfire Club, mang? COLE Firstly where have you been these past couple weeks? Rico gets squashed by Zack and you all disappear- RICO I didn’t get squashed, mang. It ain’t nothing like that. My mother in Brazil she is very sick, she has the chicken’s spots, and I look after her that week, I nurse her to health because my porn stache has healing properties. SOUL Like Jesus and shit. RICO Yes, like Jesus. But when I’m in village, the peoples come from land near and far to touch my pornstache to bring good luck to the crops and the farmers. I am holy symbol in my country I am the santo cross to the little children, they cut the hair of their dogs and they tape it to their face and they I am Rico I am Rico! By time I get back to USA, mang, I am doug tired. SOUL Dog tired. RICO Doug tired, that’s what I say. Zack had easy time with me, because he does not have sick mother, he is not hero in his village like the superman clark kent. He is just normal man. QUEEN ESTHER What other questions do you have for us magic mirror? COLE That still doesn’t explain why you just up and disappeared. SOUL We don’t gotta explain shit to you, cousin. A pimps gonna do how a pimps gonna do. A pimps gonna screw who a pimps gonna screw. We been gone on vacation, doin trill g shit, because there ain’t no reason for us to be around. You give us a reason to show and we finna show. You don’t and we keeping our ass out the way. We ain’t doin no dark matches against the All American Boys. I’m a pimp of the year, Rico’s a hero in his village, and red over there is a queen, we show up when we wanna show up. Dig on that? COLE When might you feel like showing up again? QUEEN ESTHER You are a nosy magic mirror! Our vacation has been fantastic, we’ve seen so many things, talked to so many people, and Rico was only arrested twice in Paris. But we recently got an invitation to the grandest ball of them all Anglemania! Can you imagine it? All the artistocracy dancing their cares away under the moonlit sky, princes and princesses finding true love. It will be magic! COLE I don’t know what Anglemania you’ve been watching, but the one I’ve been going to I get puked on by at least 5 drunk inbreds a night! RICO We got the business to do there, mang. Tag team gauntlet, twelve teams, mang. Twelve victims for the Hellfire Club. Heavenly Rockers, D*LUX, Last Kings, Citizen Soldier, count them out, mang, we’re goin to break em nice and good. Clean sweep all way through for the Hellfire Club. Bring out the drumstick! COLE The what? QUEEN ESTHER I don’t even understand why we have to have this match. There’s much more exciting things to do in Indiapolis, that aren’t nearly as violent. SOUL This pimp ain’t trynna get him the hillybilly hoosier strain of HIV, now. QUEEN ESTHER But there’s a lot to do! Things I feel would be more interesting for the others in the match. There’s yellow rose horse carriages- RICO Hey, mang, Logan Man would like that, cause his old lady she look like a horse. SOUL I run that bitch to 5th place in the Preakness! QUEEN ESTHER They could even go balloon riding over the beautiful Indiana sunset! SOUL I heard that fool Baron Windells so stupid his ass tried to make balloon animals out of a Trojan Magnum! QUEEN ESTHER And guess what else they have? Chocolate! The Chocolate: The Exhibition as a matter of factor. It's chock-full of Indiana-made chocolates, including more unusual finds like tea-flavored, bacon-flavored, RICO Say no more, princess, Christian Wright already spendin’ time crusin’ down Moneymaker Hershey Highway! QUEEN ESTHER The Lego castle of adventure looks like a bunch of fun! SOUL That midget Shayne Brave ain’t even big enough to ride no rides! Ain’t nothin’ more that needs to be said than that. We gots a vakizzle to get tizzle. Smell me? QUEEN ESTHER Bye, magic mirror! COMMERCIAL

We return to live action with former world champion Tony Brannigan standing in the center of the ring. BRANNIGAN Ladies and gentlemen, my guests at this time, opponents this Sunday at AngleMania VIII in Indianapolis... the member of Cucaracha Internacional! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" "The Church Of Hot Addiction hits, perhaps concessions made to James Blonde, who leads the way with Faqu close by and Landon Maddix, leader close behind. Next comes the grumpier Megan and Nathaniel Black. And behind them the only one to get a positive reaction on his way to the stage, US Champion Todd Cortez. The group assemble, Landon grinning to himself, apparantly oblivious to the cold looks going on behind him from Blonde to Cortez, Cortez to Blonde, Black to... everyone. BRANNIGAN Landon, we're just a couple of night away from AngleMania now. And the question still on everyone's lips when it comes to you guys, simply, why are you allowing the in-fighting we're seeing recently? A couple of weeks ago it was Blonde versus Black. That to determine who faces Cortez on Sunday. All Cucaracha Internacional fighting each other. That can't be smart, surely? MADDIX It can and it is, Tony Brannigan. See, this Sunday, all eyes will be on us. Cucaracha Internacional versus Cucaracha Internacional? Who gets the plaudits? Who gets the recognition out of that? Here's a clue, it's not The Burrough Boys. You've got James Blonde. Perking up, James is pointed to by Landon. MADDIX Athletic. Charismatic. The most stylish and most trendsettingest man in the OAOAST. And then you've got Todd Cortez... Quite liking hearing his boss list his good qualities, Blonde looks ever so slightly put-out when Landon turns around to his other protege. MADDIX He's battle tested, hard hitting, tough as they come. A little tempremental, granted, but that's okay. Cortez and Blonde resume glares once Landon turns back to the cameras he so loves. MADDIX These are the two men who go one on one for the United States Championship. Or, should that be, 'Internacional' Championship. See, what's the common denominator in all of this? I am! It's all about Cucaracha Internacional. This Sunday, the entire OAOAST world will be watching two great athletes going at it and remarking "wow, these Cucaracha Internacional guys are good". And at the end, the United States Title will stay in camp. It's the very definition of win-win! BRANNIGAN That's all well and good for Sunday night, but surely you can't pit two of your men against each other without causing a little friction in the camp? MADDIX We're all competitive men. That's a given. Nothing wrong with a little internal competition if it improves our external competition. BRANNIGAN So you're not at all worried that this Sunday, far from displaying Cucaracha Internacional to the world, you could end up destroying it? "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" The fans like that idea, to Landon's annoyance. MADDIX So long as nobody stirs the pot, I don't see why that should be. I've spoken to both Todd and James in private and they've both assured me or their motives and their commitment to Cucaracha Internacional and that the key to it all is competition. BRANNIGAN And you believe them? MADDIX ...why shouldn't I!? BRANNIGAN Oh, no reason. Suddenly taking a step forward, Blonde whispers something in Landon's ear and gets shrugged off. MADDIX I'm getting to it, I'm getting to it. BRANNIGAN Getting to what exactly? Something you need to get off your chest? MADDIX Like I said, I'm getting to it. Wanting to know what's up, Cortez takes a step closer in. BRANNIGAN Maybe we should cut to the chase? MADDIX We will cut to the chase, seeing as you're so impatient and you've got more of your conspiracy theories to get through. See, you ask about whether there's going to be any friction caused? There's not. I can guarantee that. And the reason I can guarantee it is that James, a couple of days ago, helpfully suggested something. And that is that the best way to maintain order is for me to be out there in the ring this Sunday as the special guest referee. Cortez doesn't see best pleased with this, especially when he sees the smile creeping onto James Blonde's face out of sight of Landon. MADDIX And Todd, I was going to clear this with you but I couldn't get hold of you, but here it is. I'll be out there incase the competition gets a little too hot... although, I really don't see as that's an issue anyway. It's going to be a public display, a marquee of competition this Sunday and the real reason I want to be out there in the ring is to soak the atmosphere and experience in for myself, as Cucaracha Internacional steal the show! With Blonde continuing to grin away in the background, Todd looks around... before beginning to smile himself. And that's enough to worry James. BRANNIGAN Okay, there you have it, Landon Maddix to be the special referee this Sunday at AngleMania for the battle of Cucaracha Internacional, over the US Title. Michael, Coach, back to you. Cortez leads the way off to the back with the rest close behind, all except James who hangs back looking suitably worried about why Todd seemed so happy about the announcement. COMMERCIAL

THE TAG TEAM DIVISION IS BOLDLY GOING TO ANGLEMANIA When the night has come And the land is dark And the moon is the only light we'll see Sliding out of the ring double-quick, MARV and MEL embrace on the outside in celebration. No I won't be afraid, no I won't be afraid Just as long as you stand, stand by me A big smile adorns Logan Mann's face, playing some killer air guitar before pulling in wife Holly for a hug as she sneers at the camera. Behind them Synth is coached by his spiritual advisor, scourge of the family of many scourges, Abdullah Abir Nerdly. V.I.C.E. raise their hands in victory outside. And darlin', darlin', stand by me, oh now now stand by me Stand by me, stand by me Rico laughs and strokes away at his moustache, while Lucius fixes up his fro Back in slides Pigley and The Love Doctors embrace in celebration If the sky that we look upon Should tumble and fall And the mountains should crumble to the sea I won't cry, I won't cry, no I won't shed a tear Just as long as you stand, stand by me Ned and Simon exchange high fives with each other and soon receive a joyful hug from Molly Danny Boy leaps on Scott's back, a fantastic celebration for the fantastic upset they've somehow managed to pull off And darlin', darlin', stand by me, oh stand by me Stand by me, stand by me, stand by me-e, yeah Standing tall and victorious after a hard fought contest, the boys of D*LUX celebrate with a BROTHERLY FIST POUND! In celebration of actually getting his finisher off Vinny breaks out his best Saturday Night Fever moves, while Biff stands behind imploring him to think of the damage dancing does to one's ankles. Whenever you're in trouble won't you stand by me, oh now now stand by me Oh stand by me, stand by me, stand by me Forgetting his aversion to anything even possibly homosexual, an elated Moneymaker tosses himself into the waiting arms of CW and together they bask in this monumentus occasion Darlin', darlin', stand by me-e, stand by me Oh stand by me, stand by me, stand by me 12 MAN TAG TEAM GAUNTLET THIS SUNDAY AT ANGLEMANIA

"The Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats plays through the arena as we go back to ringside. Squeezing his way through the entrance, Biff Atlas is almost unrecognisable behind a protective foam rubber suit, over which rests a bulletproof vest, and a blue football helmet. I say almost unrecognisable, because his one recognisable feature is the fear in his eyes. COLE Biff Atlas on the way to the ring for singles action here on HeldDOWN~!... slowly, but surely. Watching his every step with a keen eye Biff reaches ringside in one piece, to his upmost relief. He slowly starts to make his way up the ring steps, which proves an uphill task (literally) with his legs cased in foam. COLE While we've got this delay, we'd like to take another chance to remind everyone AngleMania VIII is live on Pay Per View this Sunday night from Indianapolis, Indiana. And added to that historic card, a special tag team battle royal for **BATTLE ROYAL PRIZE** . Featuring such standout teams as The Heavenly Rockers, The Citizen Soldiers, VICE... and Panic At The Disco. COACH I dread to think how long it'll take Biff to walk to the ring on Sunday. COLE If he even has the guts to. Finally Biff is on the apron and after some more commotion getting through the ropes, he's made it into the ring. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall! Introducing first, from Venice Beach, California... weighing two hundred, twenty pounds... BBIIIIIIIFFFFFFF AAAAAAATTLLLLLLAAAAAAASSSSSSSS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Biff starts to climb the turnbuckles, making it only to the bottom rope before realising the danger he's in. So he settles for raising his arms while standing on the safe ring mat. BUFFER And his opponent hails from The Hearts of the American People... accompanied by Freedom... he represents The All American Boys... LLIIIIIIIBBEEEEERRRRRRRTTYYYYYY!! As a patriotic cheer goes up for the All Americans, they jump into the middle of the ring and set off red and blue party poppers. COACH Well that was hardly 4th of July, was it? In the corner, Biff goes rigid and clutches his chest. *DINGDINGDING!* Freedom and Liberty high-five before Freedom leaves the ring. As Liberty turns away from playing to the fans, he sees Biff staggering towards him and then falling to his knees. Biff tries to pantomime to the referee that he can't breath, but wearing a football helmet doesn't help with communication. COLE I think those pops might have scared poor Biff. Shrugging his shoulders, Liberty jumps at Biff, cradling him up with a crucifix pin from his knees... COLE Wait a minute! 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE I don't believe it! In a matter of SECONDS, Biff Atlas has been pinned! COACH This isn't right! The crowd cheer again, only seconds after having settled after the introductions. Freedom jumps into the ring and celebrates with his partner, as Biff flails around pathetically on the mat. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... LLIIIIIIIBBEEEEERRRRRTTYYYYYYY!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE That may be one of the quickest matches in HeldDOWN~! history! And without question the quickest victory of Liberty's career! COACH That's because Liberty never wins in his weak-ass career! And the only reason he won tonight is because they brought illegal fireworks into the ring to frighten Biff, leaving him unable to defend himself! A travesty of justice! And to think, these two call themselves real Americans! COLE Illegal fireworks!? Are you kidding me? If he wasn't wearing that ridiculous suit, he probably would have kicked out, he was weighed down under foam rubber! Since the match was so short, a replay shows exactly what happened, Biff stricken at the sound of the small pops from the plastic party toys. COLE Apparantly there's nothing wrong with Biff's hearing, if that's what scared him. COACH He had his back to them Michael, he could have thought it was the muffled sound of gunfire. As Liberty and Freedom leave celebrating, Biff is tended to in the ring by EMTs. His gasps for air are panicked, even more so when one of the EMTs touches him, fearing he's under attack. COLE In a life filled with low points, this is low even for Biff Atlas. Brilliant way to lead into Anglemania, Mister Atlas. Folks, stay tuned for more competent superstars! COMMERCIAL

COLE Last weekend, a public media appearance ahead of AngleMania VIII went somewhat unaccording to plan. Opponents Leon Rodez and Tha Puerto Rican were booked to appear at the same Q&A session in Indianapolis, ahead of their 'friendly competition' this Sunday. However, maybe we spoke too soon. ~~~~~~ Footage suddenly cuts in of the aforementioned Q&A session. On the stage stand a row of tables, behind which sit OAOAST superstars The Heavenly Rockers and Abdullah Abir Nerdly, PRL, Leon, Tyler Bryant and The Christ Air Express. Perhaps not the best seating arrangement as despite being next to each other, there's a clear division between PRL and Leon. MEDIATOR Okay, your question, the guy in the second row. LOYAL OAOAST MARK Uhm, yeah... my question is for Leon? Are you disappointed at all at facing Tha Puerto Rican instead of facing Bohemoth? Nervous laughter starts up at the question. Maybe not so nervous from Logan Mann. LEON That's an 'interesting' question, shall we say. Am I disappointed at wrestling PRL? Not at all. I'm looking forward to it infact. What's done is done as far as the World Title goes. I'm concentrating on this Sunday facing Tha Puerto Rican and hopefully my fans can concentrate on that too, instead of all the "what ifs" and "if onlys" I keep hearing. LOYAL OAOAST MARK Okay and, uh, who do you think'll win between Bohemoth and Zack. The loyal and slightly irritating by now OAOAST Mark gets a long look from Leon. THA PUERTO RICAN You want me to field this one? LEON No, I'm good. I'm sure they'll have a great match. Just like me and PRL. Not my place to predict who's going to win. MEDITATOR Okay next question. RARE FEMALE OAOAST MARK Hi, my question's also for Leon as well. Do you feel like there's any more animosity between you and PRL now that he's dating Maggie and also, if you're looking to make him jealous then, you know... The young woman's jokey question gets a laugh from all involved. At first. PRL I'm gonna chime in here if that's okay with you man. LEON Oh, feel free. PRL Look, the fact is people are making a big deal about me and Maggie and the history with Leon. None of that matters. All that matters is that this Sunday at Lucas Oil Stadium, in front of the thousands of OAOAST fans and the MILLIONS watching on PPV, me and Leon will tear the house down! Man to man, former World Champion to former World Champion. And it's gonna be great. LEON Exactly. None of it matters. Hell, I only found out by mistake, so if not for that it REALLY wouldn't matter, but that's besides the point... PRL Do we have to go there? Really? LEON What? No, no, I'm just saying that you and her has no reflection on what'll happen at AngleMania. Wrestling is wrestling and personal issues are personal issues. You have to learn to seperate these things in this business sometimes. It's not about revenge for me, or anything stupid like that. To me, it's going to be as if it never happened. Clearly Maggie doesn't care about the past, I don't care about the past, we move on and that's that. PRL stares at Leon through this, sure that his AngleMania opponent is taking a bit of a dig at him but not certain enough to say anything. LEON Any more questions? ANOTHER OAOAST MARK Yeah, I wanted to ask... are you two really friends? I mean, a few months ago PRL was calling you a joke, I bet deep down there's still a little bit of animosity there really, no? LEON We'll never be best friends, that's for sure. PRL See, since November we've gained a lot of mutual respect for one another. Not friendship. But respect. What's in the past is in the past. LEON Or, so I keep hearing. Stopped in his tracks, PRL has finally had enough and stands up. PRL Excuse me? If you've got something to say then just come right out and say it! LEON (still sat down) I don't know what you're talki... PRL You and Maggie broke up MONTHS ago! MONTHS ago! And the way I remember it, you weren't too bothered about it at the time, since you were so busy chasing more Nerdly tail. So if you've suddenly got a problem with her dating Tha Puerto Rican, like you seem to, how about you quit taking digs at me and say it to my face! Leon stands up and that alerts the other OAOAST wrestlers, but he's quickly calming everyone down. LEON Look, I didn't mean anything by it. PRL Oh no? LEON No. I didn't. PRL doesn't seem to believe Leon, until he's offered a handshake and an apology. Determined to keep things civil PRL accepts. But the civility doesn't last and soon the two are eye to eye. PRL What's the matter Leon? Huh? LEON This Sunday, I plan on wiping that smug look off of your face. PRL Oh really? Well, how about I wipe that pathetic little sad expression off of yours! To the shock of the crowd and the rest of the OAOAST 'panellists, PRL PIEFACES LEON! Taking exception Leon lunges at PRL and soon they're going at it on the stage, slinging punches on the ground as the rest of the OAOAST wrestlers attempt to pull them apart. ~~~~~~~~ COLE That was last weekend and OAOAST President Josie Baker has suspended both men until AngleMania, determined not to let this get out of hand before then. So much for the 'friendly competition', eh Coach? COACH I knew it wouldn't last. Even before Maggie got involved. Throw a hot girl in the middle and it was only a matter of time. Let's hope they tear each other apart Sunday. Maggie, I'm'a waitin' for ya! COLE There's nothing healthy about delusional thinking COMMERCIAL

Lonely I'm Mr Lonely, I have nobody, For my owwnnn I'm so lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely I have nobody, For my owwnnn I'm so lonely,

lol4realz 4 the few of us that actually still visit this board (me and tony) this show may go up tomorrow. What board it goes at first, who knows?! lol ghost town. Tony and KC we should do a storyline where TSM networks downfall to rating irrelevancy bankrupts Teddy or he tries to sell it and his sale falls through because the person buying was caught with a tranny hooker (karma!) and his parents are so embarrassed by it they disown him and cut him off.

The very last HD before AM, if there's more than saaaaaaay two matches I'll b be shocked! I know I ain't writin one with two AM matches still needing to be finished. Or started actually. But go ahead and book something!

YOU BASTARDS THINK THIS SOME KIND FUCKIN GAME? YOU THINK I A HO OR SOMETHING? YOU THINK I CAN'T GET AT THAT BITCH ASS, YOU THINK I CAN'T TURN YOUR PUNK SHIT INSIDE OUT?

Nah, I don't think a dog of that tiny size could properly pin down and rape a full size human baby, believed me I've tried to film such situations and the baby just crawls away and cries. Very annoying. Rock solid promo to open the show. Violence is at hand! Good, choatic stuff to further Ned & Simon's beef with their old boss. Could a 4 V4 match be on hand between the OCC, CS and The Enterprise and VICE? I asked Tony to do a an AM shill center, and my homie went in and did that work. The rest of you I have to threaten with gifs of girls drippin snot in each other's eyes. POST IN THE BOOKING THREAD, YOU MISERABLE HOES! Wait, I exclude Alf from the above rant and threats of snot showers because he wrote this match after I asked him. Very good rematch with an exciting finish. Alf stays winning! Wish we could've seen Alf Vs TK also, that'd been nice to have. The Leon/PRL/Maggie skit had me almost as much as when I found out The Rocks will name was Dwayne way back in middle school. You don't know how shocking it was to learn his name ain't no Rocky Maivia. Anyway back to PRL/Leon, there's some added heat between these two dudes now with Maggie in the mix, gotta wonder if the fued will continue post friendly competition at AM. I swerved Tony! I ain't no sucka ass MC keepin stats in my head but I think that's only COD's 4th or 5th loss as a team. Very nice and very huge mainevent between two OAOAST legends. I liked the little touch with Bo watching the match backstage, it was a good thing as he and Zack haven't had much interaction since the show couple weeks ago. Great shit here.

When all is edited in this could be a pretty good show!

If you don't use the booking thread THIS is the future that awaits you PS I came in @ a minute & a half watching that shit

As announced on HD WOMEN'S TITLE Jade Rodez-Duncan Vs Morgan Nerdly

I have done the unthinkable and responded to this thread at The Pit, because your OAOAST president plays team ball and plays with his team's balls no homo

I have added another masterwork, a promo in tradition of the neo-cubist O'green style, before mad cappa vs prl!

If ya'll been paying attention to the shows then you'd know this is the Anglemania rematch night. Zack called the ME so don't try fuckin' with him, word. Rematch from Anglemania 6(???) The Enterprise Vs Chicks Over Dicks

COLE Fans, it has been another historic night for the OAOAST, and in just a few moments, we are going to relive what many would call the most pivotal match in OAOAST history. Two men, now friends, now both the leaders of this company, both inside and outside of the squared circle. Zack Malibu and Anglesault have built this company on respect that has forged a friendship for nearly six years, however, it wasn't always that way. Let us take you back now to Anglemania II, and the main event with Anglesault defending the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship against Zack Malibu. FLASHBACK~! The main event of Anglemania II saw without a doubt the OAOAST's top two athletes embroiled not only in a battle for the World Championship, but for the right to be called The Franchise. A young Zack Malibu, barely a year into his OAOAST tenure, blazed through the ranks while earning tremendous fan support, and it was on this night that he found himself against a man who could be called nothing less than his polar opposite...the reigning OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, Anglesault. Zack and Anglesault don't flinch, both men burning a hole through the other with their glares. Zack extends his hand, and AS looks down, quickly slapping it away. Zack shrugs, and extends his hand again in a show of sportsmanship. AS slaps it away again, and gets in Zack's face, pointing his finger at him and mouthing off. Zack paces back and forth for a second, and turns back to AS, then floors him with a right hand! It's on! AS got taken by surprise by that shot, and gets to his feet, massaging his jaw. Zack grabs him by the arm and backs him to the ropes, trying for an Irish Whip, only to have AS counter, grabbing him for a belly to belly, but Zack counters with a headlock takeover! AS slips out, coming from behind and locking a full nelson on Malibu. Zack squirms free, breaking from the grip of the champ, then counters by coming behind AS, shoving him towards the ropes while he holds on with a waistlock. Zack tries for a rollup, but Anglesault holds onto the top rope, keeping him grounded. Zack rolls backwards and pops up to his feet, and charges at Anglesault. AS tries a lariat, which Zack ducks, and both men bounce off the ropes...shoulderblock collision in the center of the ring, and neither man budges! We're back to where we started with a staredown, as the crowd roars in approval! Both men arrived in tremendous condition, neither one willing to back down from the onslaught of the other, and it wasn't until Anglesault resorted to sheer brutality that a full advantage was taken in the contest. As Zack Malibu tried to land his trademark School's Out superkick, Anglesault snapped, and began mercilessly pummeling the popular superstar. ...NO! NO! ANGLESAULT SLAMMED THE CHAIR ON ZACK'S FOOT! ZACK GOES DOWN! JR Oh man, Zack may be hurt and hurt badly. Zack falls down, clutching at his right ankle, as replays show that AS saw the trademark kick coming, and smashed the chair into Zack. Zack is screaming, and there is a great fear that his foot may be shattered. Zack tries back away from AS, trying to get the time to evaluate his condition, but Anglesault stays on him like a rabid dog, grabbing his right leg and swinging it so that the foot crashes against the steel steps. Zack reaches up, using the apron for support to get off the floor. He starts to slide in under the bottom rope, but Anglesault grabs the bad leg again...ANOTHER SALT AND PEPPER ANKLELOCK! Anglesault, still standing outside the ring, has Zack in an Anklelock as he was getting back inside! Despite the beating, Zack stood his ground, surving the rest of the contest on one good leg, doing his best to fend off the vicious assault, until finally Anglesault's will was broken, his body tired from continuously trying to end the hopes and dreams of the popular prep. ANGLE SLAM...NO! NO! ZACK slips out, LANDING ON ONLY HIS LEFT LEG! ZACK LANDED ON ONE LEG! Kick to the gut...POP DROP! POP DROP! ZACK MALIBU COVERS! 1... 2... 3! * DING DING DING * As fans and OAOAST stars rushed the ring, Zack Malibu cradled the World Heavyweight Championship for the very first time. Perhaps more importantly than winning the title itself, was that Zack's drive and will to win, combined with his ability to stand up to the power-mad Anglesault made him a role model to many, and was just the start of his status as the OAOAST Franchise. Tonight, in the center of the ring, these two men, now the best of friends, will do battle for the OAOAST World Title for the first time since that fateful night. Will Zack Malibu be able to capture another victory over the company namesake, or will Zack's days as The Franchise be ended as the former champion regains his throne? FLASHBACK OVER~! The bell sounds, and the fans cannot be kept quiet, even as Michael Buffer makes the intro's, for they know what's coming. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this is your main event of the evening! "Medal" hits, and the fans go ballistic, as the return to active duty tonight has brought the crowd to a fever pitch. Clad in his trademark singlet, ANGLESAULT comes out from the back, looking all too happy to be returning to active competition tonight. He hits the ring and does warm ups, not even bothering to play to the ground, rather he is focues on the match to come. "Getting Away With Murder" follows his song, and the fans collectively lose their minds as ZACK MALIBU, the OAOAST WORLD CHAMPION enters through a shower of pyro! With the World Title fastened around his waist, Zack heads to the ring, seemingly unnerved by the shocking announcement that he would have to make this defense against Anglesault here tonight. The two lock up, and immediately Anglesault brings Zack to the canvas with a rear waistlock takedown, then slides over him and traps him in a front facelock as the champion starts to come to his feet. A fireman's carry puts Zack down again, but as 'Sault goes for him, Zack sweeps his feet out from under him! Both men up, and Anglesault comes at Zack, who catches him and hoists him up for a bodyslam, dropping him to the canvas! As Anglesault comes to, an arm wrench follows, and then Zack connects with a hard chop before sending Anglesault to the ropes! He hiptosses him over, but as he leans down, Anglesault kicks him off, then rolls to his feet. He lifts Zack up off his feet and throws him against the corner, then drives a knee into the gut before bringing Zack out and bieling him across the ring! Zack reels, and when he comes to Anglesault charges, only to be brought down with a drop toehold! Zack then traps him in a headlock, but Anglesault pushes up, fighting to his feet with Zack clinging to him. They come up, and he lifts Zack, only to have Malibu float over...and a SCHOOL'S OUT follows as Anglesault turns around, but he ducks and rolls at the last second, escaping the ring before Malibu can connect! COACH Anglesault's still got a little game! COLE He's certainly taking this opportunity very seriously, and is doing quite well in keeping up with Zack. Anglesault comes back into the ring, and Zack wants to tie up as soon as he comes in. Anglesault reaches up for the lockup, then boots Zack in the stomach, and then strikes with a series of forearm shots. Malibu gets sent to the ropes, but he ducks under an Anglesault lariat and nails a spinning leg lariat, wiping the OAOAST owner out! Anglesault quickly rolls to the corner and comes up, putting a hand up in surrender as he tries to gather his thoughts. Zack starts coming at him, but the champion backs off as his friend looks for a moment to recover...only to come bursting out of the corner with an attempt at a lariat! Zack ducks that and fires back with a chop that sends Anglesault reeling, then whips him to the corner, only for it to be reserved! Zack heads for the turnbuckles thanks to AS, but leaps up and backflips over Anglesault, who turns around and immediately nails Zack with a lariat as he lands, then drops for a cover! ONE! KICKOUT! COLE Anglesault not holding back one bit, and as we cut to the back here for a moment, we see Bohemoth watching on intently! (The Metrosexual Monster, sitting back in a chair, has his shades off as he views the monitor, studying the tape as his Anglemania opponent does battle tonight.) Anglesault brings Zack right up to his feet and nails a release vertical suplex, then brings Zack up again and hits a kneelift that knocks him right back on his back! He brings Zack up and fires him off into the ropes, but when he drops his head for a backrop Zack kicks it up and follows up with a discus clothesline...but Anglesault catches the arm, kicks Zack in the gut, then tosses him overhead with a belly to belly suplex! Malibu is rattled, and brings himself up by the ropes...but Anglesault charges and dumps him with a clothesline, sending the champion out to the floor! COACH The brotha hasn't lost a step! COLE He's certainly holding his own, and you have to wonder if deep down Anglesault is glad that Zack was caught off guard by the announcement, because it could lend to a psychological advantage here! Anglesault hops out of the ring to retrieve Zack, but when he does, Zack pushes him away, then comes up with a hard chop, then takes 'Sault and throws him right back in under the bottom rope. Zack follows and slingshots in from the apron with a headscissors, but Anglesault takes Zack's legs and throws him back over, onto the apron! Zack catches himself and then ducks a blow from Anglesault, dropping and hitting a shoulder to the stomach, then launches himself over with a sunset flip...but Anglesault rolls through and grabs the leg, trying for an ANKLE LOCK~! Zack kicks him off and rolls backwards to his feet, then catches AS as he comes at him with an inverted atomic drop, then nails him with the leaping lariat after getting momentum from running the ropes! COLE Speaking of advantages, the World Champion is gaining quite a bit of it right now! Zack hits a kneedrop on Anglesault, then brings him up and staggers him with a European uppercut. He goes for a suplex, but Anglesault slips behind him, then hooks him for a German...but Zack floats over the attempted suplex, then runs AS to the ropes, looking for a rollup! 'Sault clings to the ropes as Zack rolls back, and when Zack charges him the OAOAST CEO drops down and pulls the top rope down, sending Zack spilling out to the floor once again! COACH Quick thinking by the OAOAST's main man! Anglesault paces the ring, the crowd fully invested into this matchup, a rematch six years in the making. 'Sault heads out of the ring and picks Zack up, suplexing him on the floor! COLE Anglesault pulling out all the stops here tonight! COACH It's the chance of a lifetime, Cole. A chance to regain his former glory. Even against his buddy Hack Malibu, he can't be too lenient with his offense! Malibu howls in pain, cringing as pain shoots up his spine. Anglesault brings him up, and continuing with the focus on Zack's back, rams him into the apron! He then shoves Zack under the bottom rope, back into the ring. He goes and hooks Zack's leg again, but Zack lunges for the ropes, looking desperately for something to grab onto. He squirms and manuevers as Anglesault tries to lock the leg, but Malibu manages to roll over...but as he goes to kick off this time, Anglesault hooks the other leg and catapults Zack over the ropes! Zack grabs on, and SKINS THE CAT~! back in, catching Anglesault by the head and snapping him to the canvas with a headscissors! Anglesault rolls across the canvas, and when he gets to his feet, he's met with a dropkick! He gets up again, and this time it's a European uppercut that floors him! Zack then goes to pick AS up, but when he does, Anglesault hooks him by the head and rolls him up with a cradle! ONE! T-KICKOUT! The two get up, but immediately Anglesault hooks Zack, and brings him over with a Northern Lights suplex! ONE! TW-NO! Zack bridges up, and twists around so that he brings Anglesault's shoulders to the mat with a backslide! ONE! T-NO! Anglesault kicks out, and as they get to their feet again, drives a knee into Zack's stomach, then hooks the waistband of his tights and swings him chest first into the turnbuckles! Zack staggers back, right into a German suplex by Anglesault! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COLE It looks like friendly sportsmanship is turning into a game of one-upsmanship! Anglesault gets up and looms over Zack, rolling him onto his stomach and then unloading with crossface shots to his opponent! Zack tries to cover up, and manages to slide out behind Anglesault, yanking his legs out from under him! Anglesault comes up stunned, and Malibu hits a jawbreaker to keep the tide in his favor, further rattling the former aWo leader! Zack gets to his feet, and when Anglesault turns to him he's wide open for SCHOOL'S OUT...but Anglesault catches it and spins him around right into an ANGLE SLAM~! COACH He hit the slam, Mikey Cole! Anglesault covers, hooking the leg for all it's worth, as the crowd chants along! ONE! TWO! NO! SHOULDER UP AT THE LAST SECOND! COLE Zack Malibu kicked out of the Angle Slam! COACH The same move Zack uses as a tribute to Anglesault nearly just cost him his World Heavyweight Title! Anglesault brings a weary Zack up and sends him to the corner, then nails him with a lariat as he's pressed against the turnbuckles! Anglesault then sets Zack up on the top, hooking for a superplex, but Malibu fights off, driving his fist into the ribcage of AS! 'Sault responds by hammering Zack across the back, but Malibu makes a desperate shove and sends Anglesault to the canvas! Anglesault lands on his feet and goes charging in, but Zack delivers a kick to stun him, then hooks him for a Tornado DDT...but Anglesault throws him off! Zack moves for him, but Anglesault drives a knee into the gut, then swings around Zack...GERMAN SUPLEX! AS hangs on, and both men come up...GERMAN NUMBER TWO! He rolls them to their feet again, but this time Zack starts firing back elbows, freeing himself from Anglesault's grasp, then goes around...GERMAN SUPLEX FROM ZACK! THEN TWO! THEN THREE! THEN FOUR! THEN...ANGLESAULT KICKS BACK, CATCHING ZACK LOW! COACH Haha, I don't think I ever liked Anglesault as much as when I just saw him do that! COLE In the heat of a battle like this, you've got to pull out all the stops, but Anglesault just fouled his best friend! With Zack doubled over, Anglesault stuffs him into a headscissors, then powerbombs him to the canvas, and hangs onto the legs so that he can segue into the ANKLE LOCK~! COLE He's got it locked! He finally snared Zack in the trap! Anglesault wrenches, as Zack screams out, his fingers not even close to grazing the ropes! Zack stretches as far as his body will take him, scraping his chest across the canvas as he tries to reach the bottom rope...but Anglesault rears back, dragging Zack away from the ropes! COLE Could we see Anglesault vs. Bohemoth at Anglemania? Can Zack last while trapped in that devestating hold? Zack howls in pain as he pushes up off the canvas, managing to get on one foot, and he hops up and CRACKS Anglesault with an enzugiri to break! Malibu hobbles away, limping noticeably, showing the effects of the hold. Just then, Anglesault shoots for the leg, trying to take Zack down, while Zack relentlessly hammers him across the back to drive him off, then traps Anglesault's arms and hits a series of knees before carrying him over with a butterfly suplex! Anglesault comes to his feet, yanking himself up to a standing position with the aid of the ropes, and Zack is right there to Irish whip him across the ring...NO! 'Sault reverses, and ducks, allowing Zack to leapfrog...BUT HE COMES DOWN ON THE BAD ANKLE! COACH He's hurt! Right there, Mikey Cole, Zack's hurt! Zack winces, and as he ducks to favor his leg, Anglesault rushes up behind him...ANGLE SLAM~!...NO, ZACK SLIPS OUT...ANGLE SLAM BY MALIBU~! COVER! ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! COLE He got him! I don't know whether he was hurt on that or not, Coach, but that little sequence just led to a successful defense for our World Champion! Zack sits up, and upon hearing the sound of his music, breathes a sigh of relief. The referee hands Zack his prized possession, and helps him to his feet, raising his hand to signify victory. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner...and STILL the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...ZAAAAAAAAAAAACK MAAAAAAAAAALIBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Zack heads up to the top rope with his belt, holding it high as flashes from cameras explode, along with the cheers of the crowd. Zack comes down the ropes and looks at Anglesault, groggy and just getting to his feet, and he offers his hand to his old friend. COLE That's what it's all about, right there. Past and present, in the ring, with a mutual respect for each other. Anglesault looks at Zack's hand, then at his other hand, which is holding the title belt that he once proudly held. Anglesault then nods his head in approval and grabs Zack's hand, shaking it and pulling his friend into a hug. COACH Ugh, Brokeback Mountain 2 did not need to happen here! COLE Stop it, would you please? Anglesault raises Zack's arm, again showcasing the victorious champion en route to Anglemania, and a matchup with another man called friend. COLE Malibu with a big win here tonight, and he's certainly got momentum in his favor as we head to the big one...ANGLEMANIA. We've got one more stop before then, and it's next week, same time, same channel. Join us for more OAOAST HeldDOWN~! fans, we'll see you next week!

PRESENTED IN HD FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY It's a cold open to another red hot edition of HeldDOWN~!, as we begin tonight's broadcast with the owner of the OAOAST, ANGLESAULT, standing in center ring. ANGLESAULT It is with a heavy heart that I begin this broadcast of HeldDOWN~!, because last week, the OAOAST was dealt with a tremendous blow with the passing of Sly Sommers. I am pleased to announce here tonight that the HeldDOWN~! broadcast after Anglemania will be a special 3-hour tribute show to our friend Sly, and I welcome all OAOAST fans past and present to join us as we pay our respects to our fallen brother. Anglesault pauses, and gives the crowd a moment to applaud and cheer, while some fans even brandish signs showing their respect for Sly. ANGLESAULT Now, that brings me to tonight, because here at the OAOAST, we are going to get back to business as usual. We are going to get back to doing what we do best, and that is by giving you fans the kind of excitement and action that will stick with you for a lifetime! Here tonight, on HeldDOWN~!, it's ANGLEMANIA REMATCH NIGHT, showcasing rematches of some of the most famous matches in Anglemania history as we make our way to the next chapter in that event on April 5th! We have some great matches planned, including a World Heavyweight Title match in our main event! Right now, I'd like to announce that match, but before I do, I'd like to welcome out here the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, ZACK MALIBU! "Getting Away With Murder" is cued, and the World Champion emerges, lookin' all spiffy in gray dress pants and a white button down shirt. Malibu stops at the top of the ramp and points to the sky, a silent tribute to his friend, then heads to the ring to an enormous reaction. COLE We've heard all week that Zack was willing to recreate Anglemania history here tonight, and you want to talk about a track record of classic matches at Anglemania! COACH Gotta keep in mind though, most of the people Zack has battled over the years are no longer affiliated with the company. Calvin Szechstein's vanished off the face of the earth, Drek Stone ain't comin' back anytime soon... COLE ...or is he? Or Calvin, for that matter? What about Zack tagging up with Caboose and Some Guy, right here tonight? We already saw CWM show up a few weeks ago, whose to say Black T can't as well! Zack and Anglesault hug, and Zack turns around, holding the sixteen pounds of gold over his head as the fans chant his name loudly. It's a warm response for the champion, who has certainly been battling a slew of emotions the past week or so. ANGLESAULT Zack, my friend, tonight is going to be historic, and when history is going to be made, you can be damn sure that the Franchise of the OAOAST, the World Heavyweight Champion, is going to be a part of it! Now, I know that the question on your mind, Zack, is the question on everyone's mind that's here in this arena and that's watching at home; just which Anglemania moment are you going to relive tonight? Could we see Zack Malibu defending his World Championship against...Calvin Szechstein? Or how about Drek...no, you know what, let's forget all about Drek, shall we? No, tonight, Zack Malibu, you are going to relive your crowning achievement, the day that you became the glory boy of the OAOAST. Tonight, Zack Malibu is going to defend his World Heavyweight Championship... Anglesault pauses, as he turns to the crowd, and then back to Zack as he makes the startling announcement. ANGLESAULT Against ME! The crowd buzzes, cheering for the shocking announcement, as a confused Zack looks at Anglesault, who stands there beaming. ANGLESAULT Now hang on, before anyone gets carried away, there is no ill intent here. Zack, I've come to respect you as a man, and more importantly as a friend. You have carried this company on your back through the years, but it was that night, the moment the referee's hand hit the canvas for the third time, that you became what you are today. Now, I'm not an active competitor, and truth be told I've seen better days, which is why I'm content standing back and helping to lead this company from the corporate side. But Zack, you and I made history that night, and after all that's happened through the years, I've never asked you for anything, and I've always been a man of my word. So have you. So tonight, I'm asking you to step into this ring not as my friend, but as my opponent. I'm asking you in front of the world to hear me out on this, to do what you know in your heart will go down as one of the greatest matches in broadcast history. What do you say, Zack? Malibu, still a bit confused by this turn of events, takes the mic. MALIBU 'Sault, it's not a secret that I've come to respect you, because this company would have never gotten off the ground had it not been for you. Everything, right down to the name, is because of the things you've done in this business. It's also a well known fact that Anglemania II was the "passing of the torch" in regards to the OAOAST. Like you said, it was the night that I ascended to the throne, and cemented myself as the leader of the OAOAST. As for tonight, I'm two weeks away from the challenge of another man that I call friend, and that itself is an Anglemania rematch. I've been training, studying tapes, and sadly have been caught with more serious distractions recently. However, I am a man of my word, and a man of action. I'm never one to back down anytime anyone, friend or foe, throws a challenge my way. There's no better way to prepare for Anglemania then by reliving the night we tore the house down six years ago. My friend, tonight, YOU'RE ON! Anglesault smiles slightly, nodding his head and then extending his hand to Zack. ANGLESAULT Well, if it's a done deal, then all I can say is...I hope you're ready, Zack. I might not be the Anglesault of 2003, but you never know when I could surprise you. Zack and Anglesault shakes hands, and Anglesault walks out of the ring. He stops and turns, looking at Malibu at Zack plays to the crowd with the World Title held firmly in his hands, as the shocking announcement of the Anglemania II main event rematch has kicked off our night with a bang! -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Instead of the pyro and BALLYHOO~! that usually opens the show, it’s straight to the ring as SIMON SINGLETON and NED BLANCHARD head down the aisle in street clothes. Fade jeans and gray t-shirt for Simon, jeans and white tank top for Ned with a picture of him doing his best “Dude, you’re getting a Dell” impression. COLE Welcome to the longest running episodic television series in TSM history. Thursday night is HeldDOWN~! And a special hello to everybody viewing us once again on The Pit. Michael Cole and Da Coach coming to you live from the hometown of the legendary “Nature Boy” Ric Flair, Charlotte, North Carolina! COACH WHOOOOOOOOOOOO! COLE This week it’s AngleMania rematch night and we kick things off with a special challenge from last week. * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER OAOAST Marks, the following special challenge match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, at a total combine weight of 460 pounds and hailing from the O.C., Orange County, California… "BOX-OFFICE" SIMON SINGLETON and “THE HANDSOME HUSTLER” NED BLANCHARD... THE ORANGE COUNTY COOOOBRAS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" So in the zone are Simon and Ned the cheers go unnoticed to them. COLE In all my years in the OAOAST I’ve never seen Simon and Ned any more intense like they are here tonight. COACH And I’ve never seen Teddy Moneymaker more incensed than last week. I mean they came at him with evil intentions. COLE Of course they did. Simon and Ned thought they had settled the score with Moneymaker and company at the Celtic Spectacular only to get screwed out of their tag title match at AngleMania two weeks ago. COACH Spencer Reiger and Colin Maguire, Jr., the LDC Moneygang, won that fair and square I might add. “Money Talks” by AC/DC blasts through the speakers and Theodore Moneymaker/Christian Wright appear dressed for show not to go. COLE Surely they aren’t gonna fight in suits? COACH It’s come as you are, you idiot. You think Teddy and CW buy off the rack at Walmart? Before ring announcer Michael Buffer can introduce them, he’s called over by Moneymaker and hands the microphone off to him. MONEYMAKER In case you idiots didn’t realize, this is AngleMania rematch night. And unless you’ve got some time machine, this isn’t an AngleMania rematch. Besides, we're already booked against Chicks Over Dicks and sure as hell won't risk injury competing in a match we don’t have to. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" WRIGHT SILENCE! MONEYMAKER WRIGHT In the spirit of government bailouts, Theodore and I have put together a rescue plan for tonight. And unlike the plan of our dear Uncle Sam, you will see immediate results. How immediate you ask -- about, oh...right now! "Protect Your Mind" by DJ Sarkin and Friends plays the LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND to the ring. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Damnit! Theodore Moneymaker has weaseled his way out of another one. COACH Don't be hatin', MC. OAOAST promoters are the ones who booked Teddy and CW against COD, on this AngleMania Rematch night. As the Last Kings approach ringside, Simon DIVES THROUGH THE ROPES AND WIPES THEM OUT! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Simon tosses Scottish Scott inside and Ned goes to town, dropping him with a back elbow before he removes the turnbuckle pad and smashes the Braveheart into the exposed steel! * DINGDINGDING * The bell officially sounds and Scottish Scott is already BUSTED OPEN, to the crowd’s delight. Blanchard shows no mercy stomping the fresh wound, then rubbing the Scottish lad's face into the mat! A tag is made and Ned connects with a shot that Simon follows with a SWINGING NECKBREAKER! COACH This is awful, Cole. The Orange County Cobras strike before the match begins and you don’t even make a peep. COLE Like a baseball game you gotta be alert at all times. Simon doesn’t even think about going for the cover and instead looks to execute a piledriver, but ol' Danny Boy comes off the top with a shot to the back of the head! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Danny dumps Simon outside and RAMS HIM FACE-FIRST INTO THE STEEL GUARDRAIL as the referee keeps Ned at bay. When Simon staggers to his feet he’s a BLOODY MESS. COLE It’s not even Halloween and Simon and Scottish Scott are both wearing crimson masks! The Last Kings of Scotland tag and Danny Boy pulls Simon back in, slamming his head into the buckle. He keeps B.O.S.S. in the corner and delivers a series of rapid body shots, then gnaws on Simon’s forehead! COACH I bet it tastes like chicken. Everything tastes like chicken. COLE Well not everything. COACH Oh yeah, I forgot about the first time you swallowed! COLE Hey! I told you that in confidence. The Irish hellraiser spits out blood, then attempts to split B.O.S.S.’s neck off his shoulders courtesy of a hangman’s neck breaker but a MULE KICK puts ol' Danny Boy on his knees! COACH Low blow, Cole. That ought to be a DQ. COLE Well obviously the official didn’t see it or he’d have called it I’m sure. Ned receives the tag and comes in a house afire. Just when it seems he’s got the Last Kings of Scotland on the ropes V.I.C.E. hit the ring! * DINGDINGDING * Detective Bosley whips out his TELESCOPIC BATON and blasts Ned upside the head, splitting him open. Meanwhile, Simon gets sent for the ride by CPA and is planted with a FRONT SPINEBUSTER! MONEYMAKER The AMOG then produces a BALL and CHAIN, which he attaches to the ankle of Ned before taking liberties with him. COLE Haven’t those damn bullies made their point? Why the use excessive force? COACH To drive home that point again and again. And that Detective Bosley does, beating Ned’s ribs with the baton. OAOAST officials unable to put a stop to the beat down. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Fortunately there’s somebody who can. TIM CASH and BARON WINDELS, THE CITIZEN SOLDIERS! COLE Business is about to pick up now. Not long ago it was Simon and Ned saving Tim Cash and Baron Windels. Tonight it’s the other way around. The damage done V.I.C.E. leave before Tim and BW make it inside. Detective Bosley kind enough to release Ned from the ball and chain. COLE Simon and Ned may have found the match by DQ, but it's the Billion Dollar Heir who got the last laugh. He may have finally accomplished his goalt: put Simon and Ned out for good. Stay tuned for more OAOAST HeldDOWN with our Anglemania rematches! LATER TONIGHT RIVALRY RENEWED PRL VS THE MAD CAPPA TONIGHT!

LORELEI DECENZO backstage in the VICE office with… MORGAN NERDLY LORELEI Morgan, I require a favor. MORGAN Anything for you, Lori. LORELEI I need you to end your friendship with Jade. MORGAN Okay, anything for you besides ending my friendship with Jade. I know you and her maybe don’t get along- LORELEI You don’t understand. I despise that girl. MORGAN Definitely don’t get along. Really, despise? Despise is a strong word. Dislike, hated, despise, loathe, abhor. You’re very high up there. LORELEI Jade has an…unfortunate habit of letting down those who put faith into her. I used to be in your position. Hope, love, friendship, I invested all of those into Jade. I saw her turn her back on her own Uncle, two of her closest friends, merely for a fraction of Mister Moneymaker’s bank account, and I was still foolish enough to believe she was a genuine person. I befriended her outright, gave her the wisdom of my hard fought battles as a business woman, and a pillar of beauty. I took her under my wing once upon a time, I wanted her to be the next Lorelei DeCenzo. But something was wrong. Jade is not the type of person you can trust, nor is she the type you can call friend. She’s opportunistic, and money hungry, and when she saw that opportunity and money were perhaps better outside The Enterprise, she left both the stable and myself behind. No word of thank you, no apology for her humiliating betrayal of The Enterprise, it was like I didn’t even exist. She didn’t care about me, and she doesn’t care about you. MORGAN Okay, you’re way off base. Yeah, people suck and most of ‘em are jerks, but not Jade. Whaetever she was to you, I swear she’s changed. COMMERCIAL LORELEI Please. No one ever changes. MORGAN She has. The way she treated me when we hung out…I can’t explain it, but no one else has ever been like that me. No one’s ever seemed like they understood the real me, and all the shit that I’ve gone through and all the shit that I’ve done and still just liked me. Everyone’s always wanted something out of me. But Jade…she just wants to be my friend. LORELEI Morgan, you need to watch something. Lori flips on a TV, and with a click of a remote a DVD featuring Jade and Melody’s conversation from last week begins playing. JADE Why didn't you tell me? MELODY Hadoken this, bitch! JADE Melody, that's mean! MELODY Not you, Ken. Ken's the bitch. And tell you what? JADE Tell me that your little sister is a homicidal maniac! JADE I don't think I could be friends with someone like her. JADE I'm afraid if I say something wrong, she'll get upset and hurt me. She's dangerous. MORGAN Turn it off. LORELEI I think you ought to keep watching. MORGAN Turn it off. LORELEI Morgan, you need… MORGAN I said turn it off! Turn it off! Turn it off! LORELEI Morgan, do you need to be alone? MORGAN How could she do this to me? I…I…was trying to help her. You have no idea the things that were running through their minds. They wanted to…hurt her. I was protecting her. LORELEI I won’t insult you by saying I can relate to how you feel. But, I know how you feel. I know you feel trapped inside your own body,feeling imprisoned in your flesh, forced to suffer the kind of punishment no one should ever suffer. I know you feel like you’re a great cosmic mistake, don’t you? MORGAN Yeah… LORELEI Like you don’t belong her, like your entire birth was just some royal mix up by the Universe. I know how it feels like your brain is attacking you, how you can wake up and suddenly your mind assaults you with this depression and these homicidal thoughts. And you think you’re a bad person because of that. You think you’re a monster. MORGAN She said she wouldn’t judge me. I believed her. But, people don’t wanna be friends with monsters. No one wants to hang out with the bad guy. I just wanted a chance to be normal. LORELEI The universe never gave you that chance, though. It gave you this disease of depression and then it set the rest of the awful, cruel, judgmental world against you. Hasn’t it? MORGAN I just wanted to know what its like to feel like every one else. Having friends, hanging out, laughing… LORELEI Why? These people are the monsters, not you. They discriminate against you don’t they? They write you off as weird, or emo, or crazy. They minimize your pain. Everyone does, don’t they? MORGAN Yeah they do. They do. LORELEI You’ve been in and out of mental hospitals before. MORGAN I needed help, I needed to be kept away so I couldn’t hurt myself or anyone else. LORELEI But society doesn’t care about that. No, they think you’re tainted, and damaged. They look at people with mental health issues with scorn. They openly mock them. Tony Brannigan made a sucide watch joke today, what did you think of that? MORGAN I hated it. I hated him. They won’t joke about anything like cancer, or diabities, but they’ll taunt people like me all day long. I’d hurt him so bad….Why did she do this? I thought she was different? LORELEI The world is diseased and twisted place, Morgan. MORGAN But, I..I..I saw good in myself for the first time when I was with her. I know I’ve hurt people, and I’ve hurt myself, but I wasn’t going to hurt her, I didn’t want to hurt anyone. But those people…I just wanted to protect her. LORELEI You need to let it out. You deserve revenge. MORGAN How? What can I do? LORELEI All the anger you feel, all the times you’ve been betrayed, all the times you’ve hurt someone or someone else has hurt you. You can take it all out on her. MORGAN I was never going to hurt her. LORELEI The world’s backed you against a corner Morgan and its kept you there all your life. You’ve tried to fight back, but you just haven’t been successful. This is your chance to lash out and leave a scar on a world that’s given you tons. Take her women’s title. Take it at Anglemania. MORGAN I’ll do it then. If she thinks I’m a monster, then you know what, I’ll be her monster. I’ll hurt her like never before. LORELEI Hurt them all like never before. COMMERCIAL