Patty O'Green

Use this thread, you miserable soulless bastards!

Really enjoyed that opening promo with Zack and Bo. I was wondering how this year's version of the feud would work because the other had several months of build behind it before the first match. But this one got off to a good start here. When's the last time SR has had a singles match he hasn't ducked on? He may one day set the record for count out losses in OAOAST history. Nice little match here by Tony and a very good follow up promo as well. For those who can't tell the AM poster from left to right is: Molly, Morgan, Krista, Moneymaker, Zack, Wright and Maddix Hey, new people! Always awesome to have some new blood flowing in. This definitely made me want to see more these two characters, and I'm interested in seeing how they'll fit in to things around here. @ JB's homotional stanning extending to his wardrobe. Funny segment. Leave it to the bumbling ass kissing henchmen to be the one to save the group from implosion. Liked that PRL interview towards the end. Definitely a bit of a "tune in next week" kind of thing as it builds anticipation and excitement to his huge ass announcement. And finally a rock solid mainevent. I expected THR to pull out the win against their old rivals but J'Oh got a little bit of revenge here tonight.

Not a bad show. Nice to see some new dudes making shit happen

The camera cuts to the OAOAST HeldDOWN~! interview area where Maggie Nerdly is standing by with Tha Puerto Rican. The crowd cheers loudly. MAGGIE NERDLY Sup guys, this is Maggie Nerdly here, with the man who defeated Mr. Dick last Thursday night at the Celtic Spectacular, Tha Puerto Rican! P.R., you've proven to Mr. Dick that you are not the loser that he claimed you were. Now that that's out of the way, what's next for The People's Champ? THA PUERTO RICAN First of all, it's about time that the OAOAST stuck me with a better looking, and a better smelling, interviewer! Maggie blushes at this comment. THA PUERTO RICAN As for what's next for Tha Puerto Rican? Well, normally Tha Puerto Rican would go right up to Zack Malibu and challenge him for a match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. That's really the one thing I want more than anything at this time. Besides, there has never been a one-on-one match between myself and Zack, and what better time than now to have that match, right Maggie? MAGGIE NERDLY You got a point there, P.R. THA PUERTO RICAN Good to see we both agree on that! Unfortunately, there is really nothing I can do when it comes to fighting Zack for the OAOAST Championship. Zack Malibu vs. Bohemoth is already signed and will take place at AngleMania VIII. And with Mr. Dick now in the hands of Krista after I did a pretty damn good job laying the smackdown on his candy ass, this leaves The Latin Lion with no one to face at AngleMania VIII. Now normally, I would be upset and annoyed about this...but then, last night, I had an idea. An idea for a match so awesome, it will be talked about for years and years to come. Now, I cannot say much about it yet, but, trust me, Lightning Bolts, I have a match in mind for AngleMania VIII that you are just going to love! You want to talk about AngleMania Moments? Tha Puerto Rican GUARAN-DAMN-TEES that you will get one hell of an AngleMania Moment at AngleMania VIII! This will be a match for the ages! And you will find out what I have in mind soon enough. THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP...HAS...SPO-KUN~!!! Tha Puerto Rican does The People's Eyebrow to the camera. The crowd cheers loudly. A wide shot of the audience can be seen as "Heart Shaped Box" by Nirvana begins to waft through the arena. Boos greet the appearance of The Heavenly Rockers, all smiles between the four people on stage. A big smile adorns Logan Mann's face, playing some killer air guitar before pulling in wife Holly for a hug as she sneers at the camera. Behind them Synth is coached by his spiritual advisor, scourge of the family of many scourges, Abdullah Abir Nerdly. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team contest is set for one fall. On the way to the ring... COLONEL ABULLAH NERDLY presents, the only rock n' wrestling band that matters... also accompanied to the ring by HOLLY... SYNTH ABDUL-JABBAR... LOGAN "MACHO MACHO" MANN… THE HHHEEEEEEEAAAAAVVVEEEEENNLLLLYYYYYYYY... RRRRRRROOOOOOOCCKKEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE A couple of guys who've been having some problems recently with Jamie O'Hara on our sister program Syndicated. It seems like, for whatever reason, Synth and Logan have taken it upon themselves to try and discredit and embarrass O'Hara and try and make him a laughing stock. COACH With a huge assist from O'Hara himself. Logan climbs to the ring apron, turning to the crowd on the far side and encouraging them to "SING ALONG, YOU KNOW THE WORDS!" Unfortunately this isn't a rock concert and nobody's paid to see Logan, so they respond by booing him. As he and Holly enter the ring, Synth bows his head at ringside in solemn prayer. COLE The Rockers seem to have some sort of chip on their shoulder that guys like O'Hara are getting respect and adulation for what they bring to the OAOAST, where-as they claim to be the greatest rock n' wrestling band going and they don't get any. COACH Well can you blame them really? These guys are three time Tag Team Champions, bonafide superstars. A guy like O'Hara can do a bunch of flips, but what else does he bring to the table? Nothing! He's a scrawny punk with zero intelligence. That's why the One And Only Jamie O'Hara Federation is tanking so badly. COLE Oh don't even bring up that abomination, that farce from the mind of Abdullah Abir. Much to Abdullah's annoyance his prayers are interrupted noisely as "Like The Angel" hits and the crowd climb to their feet. As the lyrics kick in the twin Nerdly brothers run out and hit the always awesome leaping high-five, setting off a pair of pyrotechnic rockets, one orange and one blue. BUFFER And their opponents... from Edmonton, Alberta Canada! Total combined weight, three hundred and seventy pounds... the team of MARV and MEL... THE CHRIST AIR EEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXPPRRRRRREEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" MARV and MEL sprint to the ring and slide in, going up onto adjacent middle turnbuckles to salute the roaring crowd. Hanging back Logan watches from halfway through the ropes, urging referee Charles Robinson to keep the amped up twins back as they leap down in his direction. COLE A great reaction for The Christ Air Express, who look to be in high spirits here tonight! COACH Canned laughter. COLE ...Coach... usually when people mock bad jokes, they actually make the sound of canned laughter, not just say "Canned laughter". COACH My way's better. Continuing to lean between the ropes Logan waits until Synth has done meditating and initiates a team conference. It's decided that Logan will start and he carefully comes out from between the ropes. *DINGDINGDING!* As Logan leaves his corner, MARV gets the crowd clapping. Not happy Logan yells at the people to knock it off, before going to the corner and getting Synth to cover his ears for him. COLE You'd think 'the greatest rock n' wrestling band' would be used to the sound of crowds clapping. I guess they don't get much of that at their concerts. Go figure. COACH Canned laughte... COLE Would you quit that already!? Composing himself, Logan locks up with MARV. Quickly he grabs a side headlock and takes him over, nodding his head confidently. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU GREEN BAAAAYYY!" he yells, to a chorus of boos rather than cheers you'd expect. MARV fights back to his feet and shoots Logan off, getting put down with a shoulder tackle. Off the ropes again, Logan delivers on a second shoulder tackle. Off a third set of ropes Logan tries a shoulder tackle, but gets too lazy with it and takes a drop toehold! MEL jumps in and the referee holds Synth at bay from coming in, while Logan is legdropped across the back of the head! First by MEL, then by MARV! Then by MEL! And again by MARV! MARV I CAN'T HEAR YOU GREEN BAY! "WHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Logan rolls over to his corner and tags out, nursing the back of his head and a bruised ego. In steps Synth and he squares up to MEL, shoving him in the chest. Not appreciating that, MEL balls up his fist for a right hand, only for the Muslim convert to drop to his knees and pray for forgiveness! COLE What is this now? COACH He's a man of peace. You don't hurt a man of peace! A little confused as to what to do MEL turns to his brother for advice, the opening Synth needs to attack from behind! He clubs MEL repeatedly across the back, putting him against the ropes. Synth turns MEL around and delivers a couple of bodyshots, then looks to the heavens. He then looks for an irish whip... but MEL reverses, catching Synth on the way back with a drop toehold. In comes MARV, running the ropes with the legdrop! Legdrop from MEL! Legdrop from MARV! Legdrop from MEL and Synth is out of there as well!! COLE The Christ Air Express are giving Synth and Logan the run around! COACH Come on with the double teaming already referee! I know they're twins, but even if you can't tell them apart, surely you can tell there's two of 'em! The Heavenly Rockers look to regroup on the outside, but suddenly look up in horror as MEL soars over the top... ...NO! He fakes them out! Synth and Logan had ducked and think they're safe, not seeing MEL leap back inside. As MEL drops to all fours, MARV charges, USING HIS BROTHER AS A LAUNCHPAD TO DIVE ONTO THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Sliding back inside, MARV hits the double high-five with MEL as the crowd go wild. COLE I'm sure MARV and MEL's good buddy Jamie O'Hara's got a smile on his face watching this somewhere. COACH Nah. That'd require a personality. Getting the troups properly regrouped Abdullah pats Synth on the back. Which does him no good, because as soon as he's on the apron, MEL brings him in THE HARD WAY~! Synth walks into a dropkick. And a second. As MEL goes to take a run at him SAJ takes a swing, missing wildly as MEL goes behind into a crucifix... 1... 2... No! Wringing the arm MEL brings in MARV, who comes off the top with an axehandle. MARV takes over the arm-wringer but gets caught in the gut with a knee. Shot off MARV goes up and over a dropdown. As he comes off the other side though, Logan sticks out a knee! Caught right in the kidneys MARV stumbles forward, into a swinging neckbreaker by Synth! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Cover by Synth... 1... 2... No! COLE Like it or not that's why The Heavenly Rockers are one of the most successful tag teams in OAOAST history. They know tag team wrestling inside out. Every trick, every shortcut. Tag is made to Logan, who stomps MARV right in the ear and then taunts MEL. Taunted to the point that he's drawn into the ring, distracting the referee while Synth comes in and chokes MARV. COLE And there we go again. The supposed 'man of peace', that didn't last long did it? COACH Perhaps he's trying to heal him. You don't know that's not his intention! As Synth makes a quick exit, Logan follows up by dropping an elbow and covers... 1... 2... No! Logan brings MARV back up, elbowing him in the back of the head on the way. Hooking him up, the MACHO Macho Mann executes a vertical suplex in the centre of the ring. Logan positions himself at MARV's side and gives the signal for... something not usually in his repetoire. Back turned, he tucks, sets... fakes out on the standing moonsault and kicks MARV in the head instead. COLE That was a blatant shot at Jamie O'Hara right there. COACH That was more entertaining than anything O'Hara has done in his entire life. Angered by the kick, MARV surprises Logan by rolling to his knees and unleashing with some right hands to the gut. Logan stops him by dropping a double axehandle though. Picking him back up, Logan delivers a short arm clothesline and hooks MARV up... 1... 2... No! Dragging MARV to the corner, Logan makes the tag before bringing him back out. Scooping MARV up, Logan hands over to Synth to assist with a Double Sidewalk Slam! COACH The Christ Air Express, they think that they're 'party dudes'. They wouldn't last 10 minutes at the Heavenly Rockers aftershow parties. Just like they can't last with them in the ring. Synth walks around the ring, watching as MARV tries to pull himself up. Out of sight of the referee Logan reaches in and grabs the back of MARV's tights, keeping him in Heavenly Rocker territory for a flying knee in the corner... NO! MARV lands an elbow and manages to move out of the way! Synth lays splattering across the turnbuckles as MARV starts to crawl to try and make the tag. Able to shake off the elbow Logan manages to tag himself in though and cuts MARV off before he can get the tag, then runs MEL off the apron with a double axehandle just to be sure. COLE That Heavenly Rockers advantage was almost the thing that didn't last. Watching MARV get to his feet Logan lures him in, pulling him into a standing headscissors. As he sets up for a piledriver though, MARV suddenly wakes up and counters with a backbody drop! "YYYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Logan gets back up and loads up the double axe again... but MARV ducks behind and counters with a Backslide! 1... 2... No! Back to his feet, Logan is unable to prevent MARV from crawling through his legs and lunging forward, getting the tag to his trusty twin! COLE Oh there we go, tag is made! COACH How'd he do that!? Scooting up the turnbuckles, MEL comes off the top with a fist to the top of Logan who's routed to the spot in surprise. Whipping Logan off the ropes MEL delivers a standing dropkick. A dropkick then sends Synth off of the apron and to the floor. MEL fires up and Logan spies an opportunity, running at MEL with a double axehandle. A sidestep puts Logan into the turnbuckles chest first, stumbling back into a schoolboy rollup... 1... 2... NO! MEL grabs a hold of Logan and whips him across the ring into the CAE corner. Charging in MEL leaves his feet and delivers a big flying clothesline in the corner landing in a seated position on the middle rope! COLE And MEL, just chillin' on the middle buckle a lil' bit. Logan staggers out and MEL goes up top. He waits for Logan to turn his way before wiping him out with a Flying Crossbody... 1... 2... NO! Logan rolls outside, just as Synth comes in trying to ambush MEL. That doesn't work though, caught running in with a spinning heel kick! COLE Caught him! Synth ran right into that one! Back in crawls MARV and the twins set Synth up with a double irish whip. Double fists to the gut double Synth up and they hit the ropes... but only one comes back, as MARV gets tripped up and pulled to the outside by Logan! The one who does come back doesn't fare much better, MEL spun around the world into a Gutbuster! COACH That was one trip that MEL didn't enjoy! Synth hooks a leg... 1... 2... Kickout! With Logan and MARV battling on the outside Synth gives a signal to the outside. And right on cue, it would appear, Abdullah Abir Nerdly appears on the apron. His presence instantly takes the attention of the referee, which allows Holly to slide in Abdullah's holy book! COLE Hey! COACH Synth looking for some inspirational words. COLE Or something nice and heavy to hit somebody with! COACH Yeah, either or. As Synth snatches up the book though, a disruption in the crowd distracts him. Leaping over the barricade is JAMIE O'HARA, ripping Abdullah Abir off of the apron to the mass approval of the fans! COACH Unhand him! That's a spiritual leader of men, he's not to be touched by the unwashed! O'Hara does more than touch Abdullah, LAYING HIM OUT WITH A RIGHT HAND!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" As O'Hara yells at Abdullah, Synth leaves the ring to come to his aid. He grips the book in his hands and leaps from the ring apron towards O'Hara... who moves, causing Synth to wipe himself out on the barricade!!! COLE God moves in mysterious ways. Synth just moved in a rather misguided way. COACH Jamie O'Hara should not even be out here! He's got his own fed to go to now so we don't have to put up with him! With Synth down and out, Logan re-enters the ring to complain about the presence of O'Hara at ringside. Up from behind from MEL, turning him around looking to go on the attack. Logan still has enough concentration to land the first blow though, booting MEL in the gut. He pulls MEL into the front facelock, setting him up for Percussion. Again his attention is taken by O'Hara though. Too busy yelling at him, Logan is surprised by MARV, coming off the top with a Missile Dropkick!! Managing to avoid landing on his head MEL floats over on top with a jacknife pin... 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* COLE That's it! MARV and MEL, with a little help from their friend, are gonna pick up the win in this one! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... MARV, MEL, THE CHRIST AIR EEEEEXXXXXXXPPRRRREEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" Sliding out of the ring double-quick, MARV and MEL embrace on the outside in celebration. Having left Abdullah nursing his jaw O'Hara comes over to join them, dishing out some hand slaps and fist daps. Logan looks shocked and simmers as he looks on from the ring. COLE Well, a little bit of retribution for Jamie O'Hara tonight, seeing his buddies put away The Heavenly Rockers here on HeldDOWN~! Hey... maybe the One And Only Jamie O'Hara Federation have got an opening for a new tag team? COACH Yeah, you and your left nut! That's about the best that guy could do. Hitting a man of dignity in the face... no class! No class at all! As Holly comforts her husband, O'Hara encourages Logan to "come and get him". Logan is content to swear revenge from a safe distance for now, still fuming at what just happened. COLE Folks we will see you next week! FADE OUT

PRESENTED IN HD FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- We cut to sofa central where our announce team, dressed in Anglemania baseball jerseys available at OAOAST Shop, sit ready to welcome us to our little den of insanity. COLE Folks, welcome to Green Bay for another exciting episode of the top rated sports entertainment program on television, OAOAST HeldDOWN~! I'm Michael Cole sitting alongside The Coach here in the home of The Packers. A lot to come here tonight but of course, we are coming off of an historic event last week in Boston, The Celtic Spectacular throwing up a major happening as we have a new OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. Zack Malibu is once again the World Champ, he beat Leon Rodez, but not without some amount of discussion. As we take you back to some of the highlights of that match. As Cole continues talking, still photos of the match play. COLE And as you see, it was a back and forth classic as we had expected going in. Both men igniting the Boston crowd. Arguably one of the best World Title matches we've seen in a long time. Back and forth they went, almost going to a double count-out after a dangerous suplex saw both men crashing to the floor, only to return at the count of 9. Eventually, Leon would manage to fight off Zack and put him in position for the 450 Splash. At this point, we all thought it was over. Leon connected with the 450, referee Mike Chioda counted the one, two and the three and we assumed that was it. However, that wasn't the case. The still of Leon noticing Zack's foot on the bottom rope stays up. COLE There you see, Zack Malibu's foot placed on the bottom rope. It went unnoticed by the referee and the match was over, but Leon refused to take the victory. He refused to win that way, after the controversy mired around his title defence against Mister Dick at AnglePalooza and also at the 300th episode of HeldDOWN against Krista. So Leon demanded that the match was restarted, Mike Chioda realising his mistake agreed and that proved to be perhaps the biggest mistake of Leon Rodez's career. The last shots show Zack connecting with School's Out, the three count, Zack celebrating with the title and Leon leaving dejectedly. COLE With the match restarted, Zack would go on to score with School's Out and win the World Heavyweight Championship for a record fourth time. Back to Cole and Coach (ew.) COLE We're told that the former World Champion will not be in attendance tonight, but we are hoping to hear from the new World Champion Zack Malibu in the course of this broadcast. Of course, all that means that the face of AngleMania VIII in Indianapolis has changed dramatically. The main-event is now signed and sealed for the biggest show of the year. And it will be, one year on from the match that you the OAOAST fans voted as your Match Of The Year, Zack Malibu and Bohemoth one on one. They tore the house down last year in Los Angeles. In Indianapolis, it's Zack/Bohemoth 2 and this time it's for the Heavyweight Championship of the World! Standing proudly in the center of the ring, ANGLESAULT smiles into the hard camera, mic in hand, as the fans are buzzing loudly throughout the crowd. ANGLESAULT Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor and my pleasure to introduce to you the NEW OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...ZAAAAAAAAAAAACK MAAAAAAAAAALIBUUUUUUUUUUUUU! The crowd roars loudly, as "Getting Away With Murder" is cued up, and jockeys with the fans for the loudest sound in the arena! Through the golden sparks that shower the entranceway, ZACK MALIBU emerges, dressed in black dress pants and a dark blue dress shirt. The OAOAST World Title is slung proudly over his shoulder, but Malibu pauses for a moment to raise the belt over his head, drawing the fans into cheering even louder, if that's even possible! COLE His lucky number is "3", but "4" turned out to be just as lucky for Zack Malibu, because that's how many times he's held our championship! COACH And that's four times too many, Cole. Ol' Hack Malibu has gone pretty far with very little, and now he's done it at the expense of one of his boys! COLE While Leon Rodez certainly must feel dejected over losing his prized championship, I don't think the friendship between Zack and Leon has suffered at all. It was a bout between two men, former World Tag Team championshp partners at that, who have the utmost respect for each other. COACH Respect this, respect that...respect don't put food on the table, Mikey Cole. Championship belts do, and when Leon Rodez' paycheck is lower than it's been lately, he'll see the light. As Coach tries to stir things up and Michael Cole does his best to sway him from it, the World Champion enters the ring, where he's greeted by Anglesault, the founder of the company and the man who passed the torch to Malibu six years ago at Anglemania II. He hands Zack the mic and exits, looking back proudly from the apron like a father would to his son, before exiting the arena. "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" The chant goes up immediately, and Zack is all smiles as he pats the sixteen pounds of gold dangling off his shoulder. MALIBU First of all, I know there's a lot of celebrating to be done, and that will come in due time. My first order of business as World Champion right now is to say something to a man that I call friend...in fact, he's my best friend. Leon Rodez, my Usual Suspects tag team partner, a member of The In Crowd, and someone who has always been there for me no matter what. You did this belt proud, you gave it your all every night you stepped into the ring to defend it, just like you've given your all since the moment you walked into the OAOAST. It was my honor to battle you for this belt, I thank you for the opportunity, and I want you to know that you are beloved and respected and you will always be remembered as one of the hardest working wrestlers in this company. So, people, GIVE IT UP FOR LEON RODEZ, RIGHT NOW! C'MON! Zack cheerleads, waving the crowd on, as a loud cheer goes up, then breaks off into chants of "LEON!", "LEON!", "LEON!" MALIBU Now, secondly...the more things change the more they stay the same. I had to battle one friend to get to this moment, celebrating my fourth OAOAST World Title victory. Now, just as quickly as I won it, I'm back in the same situation, because I am heading to Anglemania as the OAOAST World Champion, and there is going to be a man standing across the ring from me that night that I'm all too familiar with. A man who has been both friend and foe, and a man who one year ago at Anglemania, pinned my shoulders to the mat one, two, three. Last year he showed me that he had what it took to survive in this business, and he earned my respect for an eternity by getting in that ring and doing what he said he was going to do without any shortcuts. At Anglemania, it's you and me again, Bo, and I will be more than happy to even things up as far as our Anglemania matches go. The match might be a repeat, but I can't say that the outcome will be. Because new life has breathed into Zack Malibu. The threat of The Enterprise was vanquished at Anglepalooza. Candie, my love, sent Alison back into purgatory, likely to never be seen again. And now, I stand before you once again the OAOAST World Champion. A wave of momentum is carrying me to Anglemania, Bo, and it's going to carry me to victory that night! The crowd cheers, enjoying everything that Malibu has just said. Just then, "Liberate" by Disturbed hits, and the crowd cheers wildly again, this time for the arrival of the number one contender! COLE Things are about to pick up here tonight! COACH With another face to face lovefest? Please, Mikey Cole. Call me when a fan hops the rail and tries to cut one of them. Bo, clad in a swank pinstripe suit with his trademark tinted sunglasses, is all smiles as he walks down to the ring. He steps into the ring, and he and Zack go nose to nose, with Bo pointing at the belt that rests on Zack's shoulder, and then to himself. Bo then steps back, and he and Zack give each other the once-over before shaking hands, and Bo grabs another mic. BO Zack, I told you in the back the other night, but let me say it in front of all these people here...CONGRATULATIONS on becoming the OAOAST World Champion once again! The fans applaud Zack's gesture, and Malibu mouths "Thank You" off mic. BO Now, celebrations aside, let's look ahead to Anglemania. THE event. MY event. Because last year, Zack, not only did I earn your respect, but I earned my NAME at Anglemania last year. I was able to prove to you, to the guys and girls in the back, and to the world, that I was more than just a flunky. That I was my own man, and that I could walk my own path. No jumping people from behind, no attacks in the back...it was about you, me and RESPECT. We went to the limit, and there were certainly times where I thought you had my number...but I fought you off. I resisted every time a School's Out or an Angle Slam put me on the canvas, and in the end a star was born at Anglemania. Now, that star has kept rising, Zack. Not only did I beat you at Anglemania, but I beat you again, ending our little competition last year. I do respect you, Zack. I consider you a friend and a mentor, but now that I already have your respect, there's just one other thing that I need to prove to you, to myself, and to the world that I can gain...and that's that big gold belt in your hands right now. It doesn't matter if it would have been Leon, or anyone else. It's an unfortunate place to be in, but you can't fight fate, Zack. You know that more than anyone. This is my destiny, and if I have to pin you to the mat one more time to show the world that I can be OAOAST World Champion, I will do it without hesitation. The mood becomes tense, and Malibu soaks in the revelations of his friend before carrying on. MALIBU Bo, I know exactly where you're coming from. I know that you feel it's your time to carry the torch, and I agree completely that you're ready for it. I have no doubt in my mind that you can beat me...you've proven it before, and you're hungry enough, motivated enough to do it again. But you also know that I'm at MY best when my back is against the wall, and now, it's not just respect at stake. It's about being the MAN, the Franchise, whatever you want to call it. This belt isn't just a prop, it's a symbol of everything that I've worked for, and one day, it will be a symbol of everything that you've worked for. If you think it's going to be at Anglemania, though, that's the one point we disagree on. BO I guess we're gonna have to wait and see, right Zack? MALIBU I guess so. BO Well, until then... Bo comes forward and extends a hand, which Zack obliges to...but then Zack gets pulled in close by Bo, who takes the World Title from off his shoulder! Staring at it in his hands, Bo looks back up at Zack, then back down at the belt...and then hands it over to the World Champion without incident! COACH He shoulda hit him with it! Split his wig, ya pussy! Bo exits the ring, and from the aisle, makes the "you and me" motion to Zack, who nods his head with approval, his first defense of the OAOAST World Championship coming against another man he calls friend. COLE Zack's been painted into a corner right from the start of his fourth reign, winning it from one friend and having to combat another at the biggest event of the year! Bohemoth seems ready, so will he be able to repeat his performance from last year's Anglemania? Make sure to join us that fateful night and find out!

DUNCAN FAMILY MANSION. MALIBU, CA. TUESDAY. SHOT BY MOLLY NERDLY. On the expansive (understatement!) back patio of the Duncan Family mansion, Krista stands overlooking the ocean view that drives the homes price up by millions. Quickly joining her is her mother, Genevieve, carrying two martini glasses. KRISTA Mom, you brought me a drink. How sweet. GENEVIEVE Who said one of them was for you? I had a dream that your father accepted a wrestling match against a character named Mister Dick. And all because his favorite daughter didn't have the common sense to stay out of the inane "sport" in the first place. Krista turns away from the gorgeous blue ocean to flash a red hot snarl at her mother. KRISTA I'm sorry mom, I'm a little busy trying to figure out how to save his ass, to listen to your completely off base criticism of me. But, if you wait a few hours I should be able to listen to you compare my birth to being as painful as sitting through 20 straight viewings of Paul Bart Mall Cop. GENEVIEVE Oh, honey, you never were as smart as you thought you were. Everyone told you were, but I always knew you weren't. I assumed you were just too young to realize your ignorance, but a few more years on this planet hasn't helped you. Krista has a long hard stare for her mother. But the elder Duncan doesn't back down, instead holding even firmer to her ground. KRISTA No, but the gentle guidance and decent heart of my mother has done wonders for my manic depression. There are things you don't know, mother, that I do. Even in your gossiping circles and amongst your little spies you can't figure certain things out. Genevieve opens her mouth very slowly, speaking as though she were trying to calm a raging drunkard. GENEVIEVE Krista, darling, what the hell could you know that I haven't already known and deemed useless enough to forget? KRISTA You don't know how the mind of the killer works. Mister Dick is a killer in a wrestling ring, and dad is a killer in a political ring. When one killer challenges the other...bad things happen. Usually to both of them. Jock is going to hurt dad. Very badly, because dad challenged him. But when dad heals, he's going to want revenge for me and for himself. And he'll hurt Mister Dick badly to. Jock just thinks he's playing his little wrestling game... GENEVIEVE Krista its time to grow up. You're no longer a little girl, you have to realize your father is no superman. Your dad is only what I, his aids, and a very well crafted public image have made him to be. He's nothing more than that. Why do you think he's never made it any higher than congressman, why hasn't he been senator, or democratic presidential nominee? Because your dad is a fool that's why. He's a damn fool that listens to orders well and that's why he's where he is today. To be a killer you have to be smart. Krista scowls, and its as though the heat of her anger could actually burn her mother. She turns to walk away as much for Genevieve's safety as for her own peace of mind. But this is one mother not intimidated by her daughter's mood swings, and she follows her at her side. KRISTA Don't talk about my father like that. Genevieve's low voice is frigid, a sharp contrast to how hot Krista's anger burns. GENEVIEVE A stupid killer is just an animal, one that kills out of instinct. Your father has challenged another animal, a bigger animal and there's nothing you can do to stop it. You on the other hand are smart. Krista's palms tingle, she wants so badly just to hit something, too take one of the overpriced statues or flower pots nearby. KRISTA I thought you said- Genevieve gives off a soft chuckle, that kind that just infuriates Krista all the more. GENEVIEVE I said not as smart as you think you are. I've seen what you become, and what you can do when someone pushes you to a certain point. I had to enroll you in three separate kindergardens because of your temper, I know my daughter and the person she can become. So, I didn't just come to lecture you, although that is fun, or for your father's health. By pushing this situation with Mister Jock, you are playing with fire of your own creating. KRISTA Obviously you're the super genius capable of deciphering the complex intricacies of human behavior, and I'm the stupid daughter, that eats paste and snacks on paint chips. So tell me. What do you want me to do, mother? Invite him to passover? See if he'd like to come to Uncle Stu's retirement dinner, maybe he can go with our one cousin with the lazy eye and the club foot. GENEVIEVE I want you to pull back. I want you to stop. KRISTA Nope, sorry, that's not gonna happen. I can't do that. If I let him win, its like Lincoln not freeing the slaves, or whoever was the bad guy in world war I not being stopped by whoever was the good guy, I hated history class you know that, or ABC not airing Three's Company. GENEVIEVE Remember the last time you said that about someone? I believe it was Theodore Moneymaker. Your father went to Yale with his dad,despite their opposite politics they were good friends and teammates on the football team. But instead of letting the family mediate your dispute with the Moneymaker's youngest heir, you wound up with a beautiful 18 year old daughter, confused, angry and lonely on your doorstep. Are you ready to find your father's bloody body on your doorstep as well? Think about that. FADE OUT COMING UP NEXT SEX, DRUGS, AND ROCK N' ROLL THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS VS THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESS NEXT!

Over at the catering tables, we find Megan Skye on a coffee run. Which, she quite clearly doesn't enjoy having to do. With a scowl on her face she drains another cup, muttering something about "respected managers" as she does so. As she does this, a frantic looking James Blonde walks by. Oh, and he's wearing this brand-new shirt. Spotting Megan, James rushes over, almost spilling the tray of coffees in his rush to get Megan's attention. BLONDE Megan, we gotta talk. MEGAN What is it now? BLONDE I need you to speak to Landon for me, because he's not listening to what I'm trying to tell him. And if he doesn't, we're all going to hell in a handbasket and I can't let it happ... Sighing, Megan picks up one of the coffees and sets it aside. MEGAN Sounds like you've had enough caffeine as it is. BLONDE This is SERIOUS Megan! Real serious! I need you to convince Landon to sign off on a US Title match for me. MEGAN And why would we do that? BLONDE Look, if I tell you, you've gotta believe me. Okay? Todd's not conformed at all. He's planning to ruin Cucaracha Internacional and tear us all apart! He told me so himself! And as long as he's got the United States Title and he's in Landon's good books he's got a good chance of doing it, which is why I need the belt instead. To restore the balance of the group. Because Landon won't hear it! MEGAN This isn't another cry for attention is it James? Pouting, James takes offence to the very suggestion. BLONDE I don't know what you mean. MEGAN This thing with you and Todd. I don't know what's really going on and I'm not getting drawn into these squabbles between you now, just because he's suddenly popular again. All I know is Landon believes he's finally gotten through to him and I doubt he's going to change that point of view just because I say so. BLONDE But he listens to you. Megan raises an eyebrow in an "oh really?" kind of way. BLONDE Then what are we going to do? MEGAN We aren't going to do anything. But if you want my advice, if you're really that desperate to be the United States Champion, you're going to have to go about it a different way. Everything is finally going smoothly again for Cucaracha Internacional. He's not going to want to rock the boat just because you might be jealous of Todd. BLONDE So what do you suggest? MEGAN Just ask yourself one simple question. Megan points to the letters on Blonde's shirt. MEGAN What would Landon do? Picking up the coffees, Megan walks off muttering again, this time something about "at least someone asks my advice". Left to muse over what Megan meant Blonde grabs his discarded coffee and sips thoughtfully. NEXT WEEK ON HeldDOWN~! SPENCER REIGER PUTS HIS MONEY WHERE HIS MOUTH IS BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS VS SPENCER REIGER AND A PARTNER OF HIS CHOOSING ANGLEMANIA TAG TITLE SHOT ON THE LINE NEXT WEEK! COMMERCIAL

COLE Folks, earlier this week the Deadly Alliance was in Los Angeles for a press conference that rocked the world! Let's take a look. OMNI HOTEL LOS ANGELES The 6 people that make up the Deadly Alliance sit at a table on a stage at the front of the Omni’s main conference room with their new leader Reject standing behind the main podium. All 4 male members are dressed for success in pleated navy suits. Well, except for Sandman, who’s idea of formal wear consists of replacing his bandanas with silk ties to cover his face. REJECT Hello, hello, hello. Everybody, thank you for coming. You could be anywhere in the world right now, but you’re here with us. We appreciate that, and we’re gonna make sure you don’t regret it. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the Deadly Alliance let me give you some background information. We are the New York Yankees of the sports and entertainment world. We’ve got all the best performers, we’ve won the most championships and we’re hated beyond all belief just because we’re so great. You have myself a blueprint and prototype of the ideal athlete and entertainment. There’s my right-hand man ThunderKid, he’s like the Da Vinci of the OAOAST, his performances are pure works of art. Then there’s the Sandman, and I’m gonna watch what I say because I don’t wanna find a kendo stick coming at me after this. There are some guys you don’t want to meet in a dark alley, and then there’s Sandman, and you wouldn’t want to meet him even an alley lit by a 1000 watt bulb! The fourth member is our newest member. He is without a shadow of a doubt the fastest rising star in the OAOAST, laying waste routinely to celeb icon Krista Isadora Duncan and a few other less important characters like the ex-world champ that used to be a pornstar and this strange Cuban kid with a squeaky voice that impersonates The Rock. He’s my friend and my equal, Mister Dick! Behind all these good men are even greater women. We wouldn’t have any of the success we’ve ever had without the prides of Nerdly family backing us up. Please give a round of applause for the love of my life Melissa Nerdly and her sister Malaysia! Melissa takes a bow, while Malaysia merely offers a small grin. REJECT I now turn things over to the incomparable Mister Dick Jock Mulligan. Mister Dick and Reject exchange handshakes as the former makes his way up to the main podium. Reject takes a seat where Mister Dick had sat. MISTER DICK I thank you, Reject, I thank you kindly. I remember this time last year I felt like quittin the OAOAST and the whole sports and entertainment industry. I was stuck in a tag team called The Lonestar Gunslinger and my life was nothing short of hell on earth, no lie to ya. I was surrounded by horrible demon sprits cast at me by my manger, Melody Nerdly, who I truly believe was sent by the devil himself to torment me. I was saddled with a hillbilly chump of a partner that didn’t have no since to him. The boy would’ve tied his shoe laces to a moving truck cause he thought it’d get him where he gotta go faster he was that stupid. I left the team after I was brutally attacked by my partner, an attack that saw him accidentally trip through a window. That was the only thing that saved my life from his awful rampage. But the whole summer I was forced to fight off his constant attempts on my very life. I would’ve broke down a beaten man if it weren’t for Malaysia standing by my side. But she was the only one to pick up arms with me. Everyone turned against me! People I thought were my friends ain’t want nothing to do with me. Then came my ongoing war with Krista Isadora Duncan. I’m just honest boy from San Antonio that loves his dogs and his football and his papy. I never meant nobody no harm, but people been treatin me like I shot the sherrif and the deputy. I ain’t some fancy New York Times best seller or red carpet superstar. And that wasn’t enough for some people. Everyone I knew turned on me by then. I wasn’t good enough to cheer for against the celebrity. It hurt me to my soul. But a couple of good honest everyday folk saw the good in me. Even though their idiot leader at the time didn’t want nothin’ to do with me, they knew what kind of gentlemen I was and extended the offer of friendship to me. Thank you, fellas. REJECT Hey, it was our pleasure. MISTER DICK And its my pleasure to pass along that act of kindness. I don’t claim to keep up with the gossiping and all that, I’m more of a Sports Illustrated kinda guy than a People man. But, I just couldn’t happen to help but overhearing that my girl Krista’s got a problem with one Lindsay Lohan. Something about Krista neglecting to invite her to the 300th HeldDOWN and snubbin all her telephone calls. Don’t that just beat all? You got a 50,000 seat stadium, you probably draggin in convicts on good bheavoir from San Quentin just to fill it up, and somehow Krista neglects to tell her agent to leave a little ticket at the comp window for her friend. Now ain’t that a shame? Angleslam was in my hometown San Antonio and I had tickets for everyone from my daddy to the fat kid I used throw spitballs at in 7th grade math class. Reject leans forward into his nearby microphone. REJECT Contrary to his nickname, Jock is decent sort and he knows how to treat his friends. And what Krista did isn’t how you treat a friend. You wouldn’t even treat a dog off the street like that! We’ve seen Lindsay give interview after interview wondering why Krista treated her so bad. Hey, I’ll tell you why, its because Krista is a mirror obsessed, rotten human being. That’s no lie right there. The best Krista could respond with is a half hearted apology in the middle of her weekly insulting of Terry Taylor. MISTER DICK That don’t sound like no friend to me. Where I come from that sounds like an enemy. Ya’ll know how the old saying goes. The enemy of my enemy is my friend. Now I ain’t had the pleasure of meeting Miss Lohan up until about a week ago. But cause her issue with Krista and my issue with her to, it was like we was long lost twin siblings. I understood her hurt and her anger, because god damn it, I been shunned and I bet put down to! I’ve had disrespect thrown in my face by people I thought was my friends, and I didn’t even get no half ass apology. As far as I’m concerned Lindsay and I are kindred sprits. We’re two of the same, yin and yang, and all that. As much as I can’t stand to see myself get wronged, I couldn’t stand to watch that fine girl get wronged by Krista. She deserves to be treated like a queen, so that’s why me and the boys are invited her to dine with kings! Please welcome to the table of royalty, the newest member of The Deadly Alliance….LINDSAY LOHAN! !!!! To shocked gasps from the members of the press conference, Lindsay Lohan herself makes her way onto stage. Hugs are given to Melissa, slightly frightened pats on the back are passed to Malaysia, and more calming and less worrying handshakes are exchanged between her and the male members of the stable. Reject shifts himself down the table so that Lindsay may sit nearest the main podium. THUNDERKID It as an honor and privilege to have you as a member of the Deadly Alliance. This is a dream come true. There have been many times on the road were Sandman and myself have stayed up into the wee hours of the morning sharing tears while watching Georgia Rule or holding each other in laughter while watching Mean Girls. Isn’t that right, Sandy? SANDMAN LINDSAY Well thank you. It’s a pleasure to be among people who love and care. I’m delighted to have friends that will treat me with the kind of respect I deserve. After dealing with such a toxic and poisonous creature like Krista, I feel like I’ve been cured from an evil sickness standing here with the Deadly Alliance. A lot of people have said that I should just let the snub go. But certain things turn ugly when you think too hard. And nagging little thoughts change into things you can't turn off. All I can think about is how I’ve given that woman years of admiration and respect, only to get treated like I’m some member of her fan club. She says she’s with me but I know she doesn’t care. Am I just supposed to get over what she did? Do you all really think I’m made of stone? Baby, you’re wrong. I looked up to her as a mentor and she’s torn me apart and broke me down. I’m done with trying, no more pleading for her friendship in the press. Fade to black I'm sick of trying. Took too much and now I'm done. I have real friends in the Deadly Alliance. Not hanger ons, not leeches, not back stabbers, real friends. My first act as a member of this group is to happily announce that I am taking on the role as special guest referee between Mister Dick and Krista at Anglemania! MISTER DICK Now I’m ridin high! Ya’ll ain’t got no idea the type of officiating we got in the OAOAST. They’re just as likely to spit on yer hand as they are to shake it and if ya’ll wanna do some real investigating reporting, you can ask why they’re as crooked as a snake tied in a pretzel knot. They make me wanna find the nearest toilet and puke damn near all my guts out. Ya’ll might call me desperate goin’ all out like this with this press conference and what not, challenging Krista’s daddy to a match. But she stepped on Deadly Alliance turf and disrespected all of us, and that’s something you just do not do. What’s gonna happen at Anglemania is I’m gonna take a whole piece out of Krista’s ass. I’m gonna do it for myself, for Lindsay and for the rest of my crew here in the Deasly Alliance. Can that woman beat my ass? Hell no! Can I beat her’s? Hell yeah! Krista I don’t know if yer listening or not or how good yer hearin is. But, I know yer somewhere in this here city, and I bet yer sitting at your little café, sipping your latte or your fruit smoothie, and you ain’t got no idea that you’re in for a whole heap trouble! By the time you realize it, its gonna be too late! REJECT Thank you for coming, and we look forward to leaving you amazed in the future. The gathered spectators applaud as the Deadly Alliance rises and poses for the pictures of numerous photographers. MARCH 19th CALGARY ALBERTA CANADA CONGRESSIONAL BEAT DOWN MISTER DICK VS CONGRESSMAN JOEL DUNCAN OAOAST HeldDOWN~! COMMERCIAL

OAOAST HeldDOWN is Brought to You Buy JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN FOR SKINID NEUTROGENA Nonpoint’s cover of the Phil Collins’ classic brings the arena fans to their feet. Then they remember this is CPA’s music and they promptly sit right back down. CPA doesn’t seem to care much about the fans, merely puffing on a cigar as he hides behind smooth sun glasses. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of ten minutes! Now making his way to the ring fighting out of Miami, Flordia and representing VICE he is CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN! Allen reaches the ring where a young man, of slight and small stature waits for him. Inside an Eskimo concert, he stands wide eyed almost afraid of the challenging match that’s upcoming. COLE Eskimo Kid a fine youngster from Alaska getting his training in our developmental systems OAOVW. Started watching the OAOAST in 2002 back when he was 12 years old, and says his favorite wrestler wasn’t Mystery Eskimo, but CWM. At 18 years old lets see what the kid has for us! DING DING DING Right as the bell rings, CPA stabs Eskimo Kid in the gut with a sharp kick. The Alaskan nearly falls over, but he’s kept aloft by Allen’s firm grip on the back of his head. The security chief drags EK over to the corner and cruelly slams his youthful face into the turnbuckle posts. EK stumbles out from the corner, clutching his sore face. His pain only grows worse when CPA charges forward and leaves him lying with a lariat to his back. COACH Do you think he has any polar bear friends? Disney has told me that Indians are wise, slow talkers with special bonds to speaking animals or doe eyed savages that easily fall for the whiteman’s tricks. CPA thumps his fist against his chest, in part to taunt the crowd and in part to fill his foe with fear. Both goals seem to work as the audience boos and EK makes a slow rise upright. Despite this lethargic movement, he’s able to catch CPA slacking with several right hands to the midsection. COLE Lots of energy from this kid from Alaska! COACH They need to do a better job of teaching ‘em how to take beatings in OAOVW. You’re not supposed to fight back! Once done battering CPA with strikes, EK latches onto his wrist and throws him to the ropes. But on CPA’s return, EK’s offense comes to a sudden end when an elbow is driven into the side of his face. He staggers to his side, trying to keep his balance in the face of such a lethal foe. These efforts are totally wasted once the former boxer twists his body around and drops him with a powerful left hand! COACH That’s how you take a beating! See? You’re learning, kid. CPA stands over the fallen Eskimo Kid, regarding him with intense disdain, wondering if the weakling is even worth his effort. Deciding that he is at least worth some time, he brings the Alaskan off the canvas and shoves him into a neutral corner. EK doesn’t stay in that position for long as he’s whipped across the ring to the opposite corner. He lands with a hard and painful impact against the posts, his small body almost broken in half. Unsympathetic to his opponent’s suffering, Allen darts in and smashes his arm against the boys’ chest. “OOOOOOOH!” the Green Bay fans wince as the mortally wounded Eskimo Kid starts to stumble away from the corner. While he struggles merely to remain conscious his overpowering opponent makes a run to the ropes. The cables spit him back and he uses his arm like a jousting stick to level EK with a GIGATON PUNCH! COACH Knockout! CPA with the cover…. ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING! Not considering his bout with Eskimo Kid much of a match, Allen departs the ring without even bothering to have his hand raised by the referee. BUFFER The winner of this match as a result of pinfall….CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN! COACH Back to OAOVW with ya kid, the next Spencer Reiger ya ain’t! COLE And thank god for that! Folks we'll be back with more after these commercial messages. COMMERCIAL

Moments before the music hits, the arena lights darken and the spotlights focus on the entrance. Phillip Remington is lifted to the top of the platform near the entrance during the intro of the song (O Fortuna velut luna statu variabilis) and he walks leisurely towards the ring during the prechorus. He stands in the middle of the ring, head slightly bowed, hands crossed over is waist then slowly rises them in a triumphant arc while the chorus plays and a barrage of pyro goes off. Remington adjusts the cuffs of his suit jacket as he makes his way down to the ring, refusing to even acknowledge the crowd. He ascends the steps with perfect posture and steps through the ropes, only now deigning to look to the assembled people around the ring. He turns and motions to the announcer for his microphone. Lights dim as the opening of "Rock Star, Jason Nevin remix" begins. The lights switch to an alternating strobe pattern as Thunder steps through the curtain and stops to survey the arena. He hops on the balls of his feet, throws some quick punches, mic in hand, and runs his way down the ring. Thunder slides in, rolls to his feet and sports a goofy grin as the music fades. Then he turns and looks at the other man in the ring. He looks absolutely confused. "I... um... thought this was my time. Could you, y'know, maybe leave while I do my thing, y'know? I've got a..." Thunder pats at his tights. "Oh, right, I don't have any pockets. Well, I'm going to make this up as I go because I can't memorize the script." PR, standing there in the ring, looks at Thunder with an expression of disgust and disbelief. He reaches over the ropes, signaling for a mic then turns to face him, "Get the hell out," while waving his hand dismissively. Thunder tilts his head to the side. "Now, them ain't kosherized rules. You could at least say please or maybe give me a Pepsi or something." Johnny walks a circle around him. "I mean, really? Seriously? YOU want ME to leave?" PR keeps his eyes on him as Thunder walks around him. He relaxes and gives him a winning smile, "You're right, it was awfully uncouth of me. I find that it always pays to use good manners and sportsmanship. Put her there!" he says, offering his hand for a shake. Thunder breaks out a big grin. "Hey, now that sounds like a good idea. Put 'er there, fella." Thunder grabs the man's hand and shakes vigorously, up and down frantically like a hyperactive child. PR reacts with a brief expression of surprise and concern cross his features which he quickly hides, replacing it with a grin of his own during the handshake. His free hand behind his back, he tightens his grip on the mic and walloping him on the head with it. Looming over him he says, "That's what happens to those who interfere with my business!" PR stands over Thunder's prone form, He leans forward to get in his face, "This is my house, do you understand you repugnant wretch? What in the world made you think you were even worthy of being in my presence, let alone in this ring?” Thunder pulls himself to the ropes, his legs wobbly and his eyes with that far-away, goofy expression in contrast with the blank, goofy expression he showed up with. He manages to get to a wobbly, but still vertical, base. PR glares at him, his hand shaking around the microphone when Johnny leaps into the air and backflips to strike PR over the head with a Pele kick. PR had just tossed his mic away and turned away from Thunder after his rant. He hears Thunder getting up and turns to face him, right into the arc of that kick. It misses him, but he falls and scrambles cowardly away over the ropes and onto the floor, turning to face him, pointing at him and talking shit, pointing at him but also backing away from the ring, trying to save face as he leaves. COLE To striking debuts here om HeldDOWN! The road to Anglemania just got a bit more rocky with those two around. The rest of the superstars backstage need to be on high alert! MARCH 26th CHARLOTTE NORTH CAROLINA ANGLEMANIA REMATCH NIGHT FEATURING THE LONG AWAITED RETURN OF CHICKS OVER DICKS AGAINST CHRISTIAN WRIGHT AND THEODORE MONEYMAKER PLUS MORE! COMMERCIAL

At our backstage interview position former OAOAST superstar turned broadcaster Tony Brannigan is with Spencer Reiger. BRANNIGAN I’m joined right now by the Terrell Owens of the OAOAST, Spencer Reiger. SPENCER Terrell Owens?! BRANNIGAN You heard correctly, because like the disgraced former Dallas Cowboys receiver when things get tough you quit and complain! SPENCER Quit hating and get your facts right, Brannigan. There’s a difference between quitting and living to fight another day. You call 2 against 1 fair? I had Simon Singleton on the ropes. He was about to go down any second before Ned Blanchard interfered. They’re like you and the rest of the OAOAST Galaxy -- jealous! You all notice the looks, skills and charisma I have and say to yourselves, if only I had those qualities I wouldn’t be stuck working behind a desk…holding a microphone…or standing in the unemployment line. Well you are because you don’t! That’s why I am the One Man Triple Threat, and a threat to every OAOAST superstar, especially those with gold belts around their waists. Even a couple of dumb blonds like Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard realize their wrestling biological clock is ticking, so if rising young superstars such as myself got taken out of the picture their shelf life would be extended a few months. BRANNIGAN You’re a real piece of work. SPENCER No, I’m driven to succeed. And it’s that drive that leads me to what I’m about to say. It’s only fitting that you’re here for it because you were there too. There when the Beverly Hills Blonds demanded Theodore Moneymaker face them like a man to settle their score. Now I’m issuing the same challenge to them for next week. The Beverly Hills Blonds vs. Spencer Reiger and a partner of his choice. No 2 against 1 this time, and to ensure we have a winner I say put your guaranteed tag title shot at AngleMania VIII on the line. BRANNIGAN Wait a minute, Reiger. They earned the right to compete for the One & Only World tag team championship by winning the Anderson Cup. You weren’t even a participant! SPENCER That’s because I didn’t have a partner. But I do now. And we’re going to AngleMania, baby! SR exits. BRANNIGAN That’ll do it here. Let’s go back to you guys at Sofa Central.

BOLDLY GOING WHERE NO ANGLEMANIA HAS GONE BEFORE TO INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA The red carpet already rolled out, Simon Singleton heads ringside along with his fellow Beverly Hills Blond to the tune of "Superstar" by Lupe Fiasco. BUFFER The following contested is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Beverly Hills, California, and weighing 225 pounds, he is one half of the famed Beverly Hills Blonds... "BOX OFFICE" SSSIIIIIIMMMMOOOOOONN SSSSIIIIIINNGGLLLLEEEEETTOOOOOOONN!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Simon removes his vest and loosens up inside as he awaits his opponent. COLE It was last week at the Celtic Spectacular that Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard defeated their former Enterprise partners Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright for the 2009 Anderson Cup, thus retaining the rights to the BHB name the Enterprise claimed ownership of and the return of Simon’s personal camera, the Siclopse, which Moneymaker had V.I.C.E. steal a few months back and said to currently be “in the mail.” You’d think Moneymaker could have FedEx it. COACH Teddy’s just being a patriot mailing it USPS. But you skipped the real highlight of the Anderson Cup Finals. COLE I was about to get to that. COACH Riiiight. COLE Needless to say, the Blonds are still fuming. COACH They’re lucky all Spencer broke was a trophy and not their bones. I seem to recall an incident just a few short weeks ago where Simon and Ned sucker punched him during an interview, which you and everyone else seem to have forgotten. COLE I remind you it was Spencer Reiger who interrupted that interview. The man got what he deserved. "The World is Mine" by David Guetta hits and a whole bunch of lights and shit flash because Patty gave Spencer Reiger a spectacular entrance I don‘t feel like writing. All you need to know is SR makes it to the ring in one peace. BUFFER And his opponent, hailing from Manhattan, New York, and weighing in at 210 pounds… "THE ONE MAN TRIPLE THREAT" of looks, skills and charisma... SSSSPPPEEEEEEEEENNCCCCCEEEEEEERRRRR... RRRREEEEEEIIIIIIIIIGGEEEEERRRRRRR!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Reiger sees the fire in Singleton’s eyes and does a 180 back up the aisle. COLE What is this? COACH A man showing good judgment. This is supposed to be a competition, Cole, and you can tell winning is the furthest thing on the mind of Simon Singleton right now. He’s got evil intentions. COLE And we just documented why. Spencer Reiger is trying to avoid what he’s got coming to him. Simon won’t let Spencer off this easy though. He goes out and brings him in the hard way. Tossed inside Reiger calls for a time out…but there are no time outs in wrestling, and Simon kicks him in the midsection! * DINGDINGDING * The bell officially sounds but Simon has long since been wailing away on Spencer Reiger. Instructed to back away because Spencer is in the corner, Simon reluctantly does so. This prompts Reiger to sell a phantom eye poke in hopes of drawing a cheap disqualification. Instead all he gets is a blank stare from the official that basically says “Take that weak shit out of here, son. This isn’t the NBA.” COACH This referee needs to be fined and suspended, Mikey Cole. A wrestler voices a complaint and he disregards it like yesterday’s news. COLE Maybe if Spencer didn’t try to insult the official’s intelligence with that embarrassing attempt to draw a DQ. Simon and Spencer circle around before locking up, and Spencer takes Simon to the mat with a side headlock takeover. ONE! Simon raises his shoulder off the mat and scissors the head of Spencer. Reiger quickly escapes and charges into the very move he had B.O.S.S. in moments ago! But he, too, utilizes a head scissors and Simon floats on top. ONE! TW-- Spencer bridges up and out, clubbing Simon across the shoulders. He then attempts an Irish whip only to have it reserved. Decked on the rebound by a dropkick Reiger bails to the floor where he threatens to fight a group of hecklers. COLE A rough early going for the self-proclaimed One Man Triple Threat. COACH Yeah, because Simon keeps breaking every rule in the book. COLE Name one. COACH … Spencer returns to lock back up with Simon and gains the upper hand courtesy of a cheap shot. He hammers away on Singleton who returns fire with a series of stinging overhand chops. Reiger swings wildly and gets CRUCIFIX! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! The Prodigy reverses a whip and places Simon in an ABDOMINAL STRETCH~! COACH We’re rocking to the oldies tonight, Mikey. It’s not often we get to see the old abdominal stretch nowadays. COLE I’m still waiting for you to name me one rule Simon has broken in this match. COACH And I’m still waiting for an anvil to drop on your head! Simon uses a hip toss to escapes Spencer‘s grip, and then heads for the top slowly. COLE Simon obviously still hurting from the abdominal stretch. COACH Well DUH, stupid. Spencer wouldn’t have used the hold if it didn’t inflict pain. And New York’s Finest inflicts a lot of pain CROTCHING SIMON ON THE TOP ROPE! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Spencer climbs onto the middle rope and delivers a SUPERPLEX!! The cover is made and Reiger nonchalantly holds a finger in the air following each count. ONE! TWO! THR-- KICKOUT! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" SPENCER Once the shock wears off Spencer introduces Simon violently into the turnbuckle, and then unloads a barrage of rights. “He doesn’t look so tough now!” Reiger shouts at Ned Blanchard, the Handsome Hustler’s eyes lit with rage. But the remark also serves to fire up Simon. * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Spencer clutches his chest in agony, and then is fired into the ropes…but Simon telegraphs a backdrop and is hooked REIGER COUNTER! NO! Double leg takedown leads to a SLINGSHOT! Reiger shoots back at Singleton and a vicious PILEDRIVER! The cover. ONE! TWO! THR-- KICKOUT! COACH I won’t lie, Cole. I thought it was over right there. COLE So did I. Simon points to the top and the crowd rises as he scales the turnbuckles. CLAPBOARD LEGDROP!! NOBODY HOME!!! Reiger quickly returns to his feet and rushes the nearest corner to perform a MOONSAULT! ONE! TWO! THR-- KICKOUT! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” SPENCER COLE I don’t blame you for being shocked, young man. Nobody here can believe it either. But what a match we’re seeing. Fired into the corner Simon leaps onto the middle turnbuckle and back at New York’s Finest with a FLYING CROSSBODY…. …BUT REIGER ROLLS THROUGH AND GRABS A HANDFUL OF TRUNKS!! ONE! TWO! NO! Ned yanks Spencer off. SPENCER As the two exchange words, Simon dropkicks Spencer from behind, knocking him outside. Blanchard shows his hands for the referee’s benefit. Reiger then lunges over and SLAPS the Handsome Hustler! The more hotheaded of the Blonds, Ned chases after Spencer who dives back inside only to notice Simon in his path, fist cocked. So he does what any brave fighter would do -- throw his hands in the air and hightail it! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Where have we seen this before, Spencer Reiger throwing in the towel early? COACH The odds are stacked against him, Cole. It’s like watching a Spurs game officiated by Joey Crawford! COLE Spencer Reiger is the one who got Ned Blanchard involved! COACH Oh yeah, blame the other guy. You ought to be president. Stunned as anybody, the BHB allow the referee to administer the 10 count. ONE… TWO… THREE… FOUR… FIVE… SIX… SEVEN… EIGHT… NINE… TEN! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner as the result of a count out… "BOX OFFICE" SSSIIIIIIMMMMOOOOOONN SSSSIIIIIINNGGLLLLEEEEETTOOOOOOONN!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" “Superstar” is cued and Simon’s hand is raised in victory, though not the way he’d have preferred it. COLE During the break we'll try to get ahold of Spencer Reiger for an interview. So whatever you do, ladies and gentlemen, don't you dare go away. HeldDOWN~! returns in a moment. COMMERCIAL

Backstage the world stands on the brink of destruction! No, no it doesn't. Actually Jade Rodez-Duncan.... is seen in mid conversation with her BFF Melody Nerdly JADE She probably just needs a friend. MELODY Ha! Who would wanna Morgan's friend? Its like befriending Darkseid. JADE Who? MELODY From Superman? Interdimensioal being of evil? Jade you need to keep up on current events. How can you ever hope to hold adult conversations? JADE You just compared your sister to a monster from a comic book. MELODY Okay so she's not Malaysia bad. But she had issues. JADE Mom says a lot of issues are created in childhood which is the explanation when Alix blows something up under the premise of raising her dead goldfish to be a super zombie. I bet you all weren't very nice to her when she was kid. MELODY Have you ever seen me mean? JADE You bit Tyler when he failed out on Rock Band. Melody can't believe Jade would bring up such an incident and is almost hurt by the accusation. MELODY He was playing the easiest song, he deserved it. If you flunk out on wuss mode on "Who Are You" you deserve some serious pwnge. I was doing my duty as a gamer. JADE Okay, we'll let the biting thing pass, I suppose. But you weren't very nice to Morgan were you? Melody tries to find the best way to lie, but comes up empty handed and only shrugs her shoulders in guilt. MELODY I can't speak for myself, but I can speak for other people and no they weren't. She was born prematurely and was very sick, the doctors weren't sure she'd make it. I guess no one wanted to get attached when she was a baby and it just carried on over. Plus, Maggie came along right after Morgan was born so our parents pretty much neglected her. The only one she ever got along with was Melissa and all Melissa did was just boss her around and pretend to be her friend. But truthfully she only saw Morgan as a servant to do her evil bidding. Like Toad and Magneto from X-men. JADE Had to throw in a comic book reference. MELODY I'm speaking in languages you can understand. JADE I don't understand it. That's what I keep trying to tell you. None of it! But, whatever, from what you just told me it sounds like Morgan needs a friend more than anything. MELODY And you're going to be that friend? I always tell people, well people who will listen past the "My family is a lot like the x-men" comment, that Malaysia is a lot like Sabretooth, a horrible killer beyond redemption that hurts because she loves i, and Morgan is like Wolverine, a horrible killer that hurts because she doesn't know any better. Are you the Professor Xavier, here to tame and befriend our family's Wolverine. JADE Xavier is the one that shoots lasers from his eyes? MELODY Jade, what would your mother say if she saw you butchering such basic X-Men lore. For shame! JADE I feel bad. I just don't want to see her suffer. And Leon's done enough wrong to your family, I guess I have to be the one with Rodez blood to set it all right. Mom wouldn't sit by and let Morgan suffer... MELODY That's only because your mother would use as it an excuse to lez her up. JADE The point remains! MELODY She has friends. Lorelei and VICE. JADE Those aren't friends. Those are punishments from god. No one should ever have to live with that! MELODY Hey, what about your gramps wanting to fight Mister Dick? JADE Oh god, don't mention that. Its just awful. Maya is hysterical, Mom is withdrawn and depressed, Grandma...not aloud to use that word...Miss Duncan is laying on huge guilt on mom, Alix is mourning the loss of funding for her zombie goldfish projects, and no one can reason with him. He just won't listen. I tried asking Leon for advice but that was like speaking to a brick wall. MELODY He's in a pretty bad spot and all losing his title. I get mad if I lose the remote, I imagine a title has to be pretty tough. JADE He'll get over it, hopefully. I have bigger problems when Mister Dick wants to slaughter my grandfather. And Morgan has bigger problems to. If none of you ever want to be nice to her then I'll try. We cut to The Enterprise dressing room where Lorielei clutches onto a class of wine, watching the TV with narrowed eyes. Behind her Detective Bosley alternates his viewing between the large HD tv and the Aubrey O'Day issue of Playboy. LORIELEI This is not good. DETECTIVE BOSLEY Eh, what's it matter? Let the kid make a friend. You know I bet will happen? They'll be out clubbin and they'll get real drunk one day, and the other will start lookin' good and its gonna be some serious titty sucking, baby! LORELEI Good lord, think before you talk. Is it too much to ask that you do that? One, two, three, four, five, self censor, then talk. Please. This isn't good because Jade has no business befriending Morgan. DETECTIVE BOSLEY You swing both ways, I bet you roll up on them when they in that experimenting mood, just slide your hand right between 'em, groove on to that thing they got going on, I bet you could get some of it. LORELEI For one second could you please stop being an idiot? Thank you. Obviously you don't see the problem in this. Fortunately I do, and fortunately I can correct it. COMING UP NEXT NEW YORK'S FINEST VS BEVERLY HILLS MEANEST SPENCER REIGER VS SIMON SINGLETON NEXT COMMERCIAL

FROM LUCAS OIL STADIUM 500 South Capitol Avenue Indianapolis, Indiana 46225 Opened August 16, 2008 Holds 70,000 people Most of pictures of The Luke are all computer generated lookin like Sega Game Gear, I need Alf to verify that this place actually does exist. The stadium has one of those roof opening thingies so expect the roof opening thingie to be a thingie that's opened for the entire event. Yo, I got an A+ in art history but a D- in drawing so I don't fuck with design like that, so we're stealing the set design from ACDC send everything to Patty! Don't call opener as I know ya'll love to do. I don't even know why I said that, call opener, I don't care!

Brought to you by American Express Taped: God only knows First air date: The land that time forgot Announce team: Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura Lead corespondent: Tony Brannigan Theme song: Kat DeLuna-Calling You If Celtic Spectacular didn't need a witty subtitle then I see now reason why I must be a slave to your endless desires for entertainment and comedy and make a snappy, witty and sharp introduction. You know maybe I don't feel like fun and games today? Maybe I don't wanna find some hilarious way to compare this weeks show to the war of 1812 or a Sammy Davis Jr routine, maybe I just wanna post the show and be done? ***The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club and Queen Esther Vs The All American Boys and Sophie*** Six person action saw Queen Esther spend a two minutes trying to fit her royal gown through the ring ropes. People across the country wondered why that wasn't edited out, its not a live show. To which we reply, editing? Sophie matched up well in early going with Queen Esther, in large part because Esther was not exactly dressed to do anything more than sit in King Arthur's court. Things went less well for Sophie's team when Soul entered the ring and began manhandling Freedom. In came Liberty, who had a much better time dealing with the surly Brazilian. Showing that Americans and The French really can get along, Sophie and the Boys teamed up to triple dropkick Freedom out the ring! This brought in Soul, who found dealing with the AAB's much easier than his partner, gaining near falls off hurricanrana and a spinning power bomb. Queen Esther took her shot at Sophie and almost secured the win for her team with several underhanded tactics. But Sophie proved to be the tough little French girl, and got a big dropkick that allowed her to make the tag to Freedom. But the hot tag cooled quickly as Soul and Rico quickly began picking the AAB's apart. A Mustache Ride was delivered to Freedom, and he rolled out the ring, leaving his partner to the wolves. But Freedom fought back and launched Rico over the ropes with a top rope lariat! Sensing a problem, Esther tried to beat down the AAB with the scepter but was robbed of her weapon by Sophie! This however couldn't buy a victory for the AAB as Soul snuck behind Freedom to strike him with a match winning Fro 2 Sleep WINNER: The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club, via pinfall It was time for the House Of Worship where commissioners of The One and Only Jamie O'Hara wrestling federation Holly and Abdullah Abir Nerdly welcomed the federations founders, Logan Mann and Synth Adbul Jabbar. THRs laid out their awe inspiring vision for the federation, which was to "honor O'Hara's extreme level suckiness by creating the worst promotion ever seen by man, as well as give O'Hara a place where he can fight "competition more his skill level like Lenny The One Legged Goat, a deflated basketball, and a Bill Clinton mask." Logan stated that he wanted ratings to dive into the negative numbers, the company to incur extreme amounts of debt, the ACLU to protest the various human rights abuses, arenas to be bereft of fans,and advertisers to pull out at stunning speed if anyone was dumb enough to advertise in the first place. Synth said that they're setting a new trend in sports entertainment, a trend of offending the audience and bankrupting the company. Anything less wouldn't honor the spirt of O'Hara's awfulness they said. As an added bonus they decided to introduce the newest tag team of the Jamie O'Hara wrestling federation, Tony Tourettes and Biff Bot! Tony came out with Vinny holding his hand over his mouth so as not to offend the holy man, Abdullah. At their side was a clunky robot made out of wire and tin can. On the video screen, Biff Atlas appeared from the secret location of his fallout shelter. He said Biff bot was his newest invention to save himself from harm, as he could hide 20 feet underground while Biff bot did everything for him. He said he'd control Biff Bot from his bomb shelter and put himself at absolutely zero risk! As a demonstration Biff Bot broke out some funky dance moves, and the rest of the HOW soon joined him as Logan and Synth sung the official One and Only Jamie O'Hara Federation theme song the masterful and undeniably classy, "Shut your mouth you dirty slut you know you want it in your BUTT" Baron Windells Vs Danny Boy W/Scottish Scott*** Danny Boy, Freedom, Liberty? Who says the stars don't shine on Syndicated? Windells started the match with some nice basic mat work that got an appreciative reaction out the audience. But Danny Boy almost got a shocking victory with a sunset flip that earned a two count. Angered by his near loss, The Gunslinger returned fire with hard kicks and grounded and pounded his foe on the canvas. Danny Boy fought back valiantly but the Cowboy Bebop elbow gave BW a quick and easy victory on Syndicated. WINNER: Baron Windells, via pinfall Los Diablos were on the main stage surrounded by barely dressed speedo clad hunks to announce the first ever Mister OAOAST competition! They along with all the spicy ladies and freaky guys out there would determine what OAOAST Superstar would be crowned the first ever Mister OAOAST. That person would live a year of fabulous middle class splendor making appearances at TGIFs, WAL*MARTs, and High School football games all across America's horrible, horrible, heartland. Get those voting ballots ready, gang, more details are too come! SYNDICATED MEET AND GREET WITH REJECT What sports did you play in highschool? Basketball, basketball, basketball. Star point guard of course. I could get a triple double playing by myself against a team of Malone, Jordan, Chamberlin, Bird, Barkley, and Ewing. Who do you know that reminds you of a desperate housewife? Jumbo is desperate for some ass, and fat like a house wife. What's your ultimate karaoke song? I hate Karaoke. While you're up there singing Marvin Gaye like a Japanese businessman, I'm whispering "Let's Get It On" in your girl's ear like a pimp. Who are you dying to get into the ring with? Alex Rodriguez. Now that he's off the juice, I'd beat his non playoff producing ass down. I don't have season tickets to watch them finish behind the Rays. What an embarrassment. What's the best nickname you've ever had Reject. First car you ever owned 1996 Ford Escort. Its in my Uncle's garage out in Long Island. His dogs sleep in there. What's the most played song on your ipod Amazing by Young Jeezy. I think its very fitting, personally This week on HeldDOWN~! The Franchise speaks. Hopefully! Spencer Reiger Vs Simon Singleton Clips from a major Deadly Alliance press conference And more! Before his upcoming contest with Brock Ausstin, James Blonde was seen backstage telling a very disinterested Melody Nerdly his plans for beating down Brock Ausstin. He said he'd follow the strategy his hero Landon Maddix used in defeating Leon Rodez for the 24/7 title. This of course made no sense as Brock is a giant musclehead and Leon is an average sized technician. This was pointed out by a nearby Todd Cortez. Blonde didn't welcome the intrusion from Cortez, and he certainly didn't welcome Cortez' claim that the only way Blonde would win was through Faqu's interference. In order to prove his rival wrong, Blonde announced he'd fight the mainevent without Faqu by his side! ***James Blonde Vs Brock Ausstin*** The trendsetter first attempted to prove his worth by kicking Brock in the junk. As good as that plan was in JB's mind it failed miserably when Ausstin caught Blonde's foot and flipped him over onto his head. Blonde scurried right back up to try and regain his dignity. Unfortunately dignity would be hard to reclaim as Ausstin hit a waistlock slammed and took advantage of Blonde with fine amateur wrestling skills. A body slam by Brock got a two count, but the Canadian was able to even things up with an irish whip reverseal into a spinning wheel kick. The strike landed with enough force and ferocity to send Ausstin tumbling over the ropes. Blonde won some begrudging respect from the fans as he hit a plancha from inside the middle turnbuckle right before the commercial. Coming back from break it seemed Blonde's high flying display was for naught as Austin was in control, hitting a shoulder block to send Blonde tumbling from the apron to the floor. On the outside Blonde and Ausstin exchanged strikes with the bigger man getting the upper hand by whipping The Trendsetter into the steel steps. Although Blonde barely beat the count into the ring, he made good once there by reversing a shoulder breaker into an arm drag. Blonde tried to ground the big man with a facelock, but his hold was no match for the brute strength of the former six man champion. Forced to go with more high risk attacks, Blonde missed a missile dropkick. His errant attack caused him to be pummeled by his powerful foe until he managed to hit the Fashion Statement (inverted DDT). But the signature move couldn't keep Brock down for very long as he came right back with an urange for a near fall. Next he tried for a powerbomb, but Blonde frantically fought his way out the hold. He took off to the ropes, coming back for a sunset flip that earned him a two count. Thinking Ausstin was soon to be finished off, Blonde sought the Illegally Blonde (Cobra Clutch Legsweep). However, Ausstin effortlessly powered out the cobra clutch and then locked in the Katahajime! That led to a quick submission from The Trendsetter. WINNER: Brock Ausstin via pinfall

@the intro. Tony claims I did most of the work for him when I laid it all out, but all I did is remind him of the idea he forgot about! Not only do luxury seats have padding they also come with food and drink service and private restrooms so you won't have to pee with the lower class. Because I got the inside track on all things OAOAST I knew it was TH's time to pick the tag titles back up. Looking very forward to seeing Alf's homecoming at AM against Reject. The teacher against the student. I wonder if Alf will be taking on any other DA members leading up to the event. Excellent triple threat match. If Sandman's not careful Cortez could make the US Title the number 2 belt! I always like the interplay between Cash and Spencer, they're like Tom and Jerry or Tweetie and Sylvester. You can't separate the two! Bo with a keen eye on tonight's mainevent. I liked the AM moments and other stuff scattered throughout the show, very nice presentational touch. I remember almost everything from the OAOAST but I totally forgot that Calvin howeveryouspellhisname was a world champion or he faced Zack. That period of time totally slipped my mind. Do you know Abe Vigoda was GM once? I swear the AC final looked a lot longer when I was writing it in word. Like 20 something pages. WTF happened? SMH. Two college educated motherfuckers couldn't figure out the riddle and a teenager does it a second. That's why she's the top detective on the scene! Like I said above EWC did a fantastic job on this match. It was AM mainevent worthy work. Loved the outside fighting between the two, EWC really got across the hatred and fire within the rivalry. Very well done, a great way to end a good feud. Unlike Tony, I keep abreast of everybody's business by bullying them and insulting until they break down and bend to my will and tell me what's up, thus I knew of Zack's win. Even still that did not diminish this fine mainevent in the eyes of this learned critic. KC turned in a hell of a match, lots of good dramatic action and even though I've known about the ending since November I still loved it and was still shocked by it. Leon had a purposely disappointing reign, and I think that might have made it more interesting than a usual valiant babyface fights against all odds type of reign. After so many controversial title defenses you started to wonder if he could pull through, but ultimately controversy ended his reign. I guess this leads to Bo Vs Zack at AM. I wonder how this years version of that matchip will playout as neither man is entering with as much animosity as they did last year.

PRL/MD is edited in. EWC did a really really really good job on the match, all I did was add some Krista stuff, the entrances and do the ending.

The OAOAST goes aquatic! Tony and I have decided that part of the set will have a decent sized boat that rests on a body of water next to the entrance doors. On the opposite of the entrance stage a giant sized statue of revolutionary war hero and loveable NBA mascot Lucky will frighten children and adults alike. His eyes will follow you wherever you roam. There is nothing Lucky will not see. Nothing. KC is handling graphics this month because he's tru teddy bear like that, so if you got shit that needs to get told, then tell him. Although I handle most of the pic bases so, I have shit that I have to tell/send him! PATTY O' GREEN NERDLY DREAM MATCH! Molly Nerdly Vs Morgan Nerdly

The road to AM goes into the express lane! CS got up a lil late so this thing has to go up on Saturday. The show comes from Green Bay home of ThunderKid! -Scenes from a shocking Deadly Alliance press conference- (Alf you better remember I told you about this, otherwise I'm gonna flood your inbox with pictures of Kobe, and I have slash fanfics of him and Anderson Varejo and they are hot as fuck, b)

Tony if you could put this anywhere after MD's interview I would be ever so thankful! Backstage in the referee’s dressing room, Krista is modeling off the latest in officiating fashion to a stunned Clem Buzzlefoxer. KRISTA Top, Dolce & Gabbana. Shorts, Prada. Sunglasses, Marc Jacobs. Lace shawl, Valentino. Handbag, Fendi. Peep toe platform wedges? CLEM Salvation Army? KRISTA No, honey, Louis Boutin. Total cost of referee outfit a shrewd bargain at ten thousand dollars. Clem, honey, the old polo shirt and black pants look was fine before the war between the states- CLEM That was a good time! KRISTA But with the recent induction of Hawaii as the 50th state in the union its time to move on in the ever expanding fashion world. CLEM How am I too afford all this, lassy? KRISTA Honey, use your social security check of course. What were you planning on using it for? Unimportant things like rent, electricity, food, and water? Does food and shelter satisfy you the way a platform sandal from Pucci can? I think not. Interrupting Krista’s fashion class, the decidedly unfashionable Terry Taylor risks humiliation and beatings for an interview TERRY Krista, a word. KRISTA Asshole! Moron! Fool! Idiot! There you are, four words, don’t say I never do anything nice for you. And here’s a bonus… [b]SMAAAAACK! [/b] TERRY I know you hit because that’s the only way you know how to show your undying love for me. Actually I’d like to talk to you about your position as guest referee in the match between Mister Dick and former world champion PRL. Can you be trusted to call the match down the middle? KRISTA Oh, honey, that is a silly question. I’ve cheated my way through middle school, I regularly cheat on my taxes, I cheat to beat Jade at Monopoly so she doesn’t get a big ego, I’ve cheated on 95% of the girlfriends I’ve ever had, and with that upstanding record of citizenery I don’t see why you’d think I’d be bias in any way! Could it be because Mister Dick has given me a concussion, had his girlfriend sexually assault me, insulted both of my daughters, attempted to steal my money in the bank contract, ruined my chance to become world champion, denied my greatest joy of all which crushing Leon Rodez’ hopes for a better tomorrow, and threatened to destroy my family? Terry, darling, I am going to try my hardest to be good, kind referee, but if Mister Dick steps even a centimeter over the line, I will punt his ass out of this earth. I will kick him into Juptier’s orbit and call NASA so they can monitor the affect his glitter cowboy hat has on planetary super storms. TERRY But what about the challenge he made earlier tonight to your father? Your dad is a US Congressman but he loves you very much, do you think he’ll take the challenge? KRISTA Oh, honey, of course he won’t! We’re Jews. We don’t do that sort of thing. We leave it to the blacks and the Muslims. When he said he’d bring a day of reckoning to Mister Dick he meant he’d write an arthouse dramatic comedy that goes over the heads of anyone who didn’t graduate with a 3.0 or above from a liberal arts school. He won’t take a fight against Mister Dick, he’ll leave that to his little girl. At least I hope he will… TERRY And finally, what about your ongoing feud with Lindsay Lohan. She’s still upset that you didn’t invite her to the 300th HeldDOWN where you competed for the world title against Leon Rodez. She’s been slamming you in the press, and I’m wondering if you’d like to respond. KRISTA Condescending Krista goes off, diplomatic Krista comes on. We release negativity and we embrace the positive. My not inviting Lindsay to the 300th HD wasn’t a snub or anything of that nature. I just simply had other friends who I thought might enjoy the evening more, so naturally I had to invite them. Friends like Bella Lugosi, Ava Gardner, Jumbo, Mighty Mouse… TERRY Two of those people are dead, one already works here and the other is a fictional character from the 1950’s. KRISTA You know what? You’re a fictional character from the 1950’s, and no that doesn’t make sense, but you know what else doesn’t make sense why your mother didn’t abort you! TERRY Krista, can’t you just admit you forgot to invite her? KRISTA No, Terry, no I can not because that admits fault. And when you admit fault you start admitting other things like maybe its not a good idea to force the maids to fight each other in the for their weekly loaf of bread. Fine, honey, I’ll admit, I forgot to invite her. Lindsay, I apologize. There was so much to do in the weeks leading up to the event, I had so many things to do, such as telling so many people to do the things that I have to do that I just plum forgot to tell someone to invite you. It wasn’t because I hate or I don't like you. No, its nothing like that. I know how big a fan of mine you are and I consider you a good friend. But you’ve never expressed any interest in the OAOAST before besides wondering why some family in Canada had 12 kids and sent them all to work at the same miserable wrestling company. I guess I just figured you wanted to keep your sanity and stay away from this den of utter insanity. I don’t want to feud with you. Oprah says we bitches gotta stick together like nutted on draws, not in those words but that’s the basic gist I suppose, I got the episode summary from Alix. So, lets bury this hatchet or use it to remove several of Terry’s limbs. But let’s not fight anymore because I want to still be your friend. Okay? I apologize. [img=http://bestanimations.com/Holidays/Fireworks/Fireworks-03-june.gif] [img=http://bestanimations.com/Holidays/Fireworks/Fireworks-07-june.gif] [img=http://bestanimations.com/Holidays/Fireworks/Fireworks-09-june.gif] COLE History made on this fine day. Krista has actually apologized for hurting someone's feelings!

Backstage [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/maggiethumb4.jpg] [B]MAGGIE NERDLY[/B] is with [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/mdthumbs3.jpg] [b]MISTER DICK[/B] MAGGIE Jeez why do I always gotta interview you, Mister Dick? There’s sixty other guys around here and I always end up shoving the microphone in your face. MISTER DICK Woman, if you don’t stop giving me that smart talk I got something a damn sight bigger than that microphone to shove in your face. MAGGIE I set myself up for that one, didn’t I? And ya brought sasquatch along with ya to, that’s great. MALAYSIA I can see why you’d be afraid of these muscles, Maggie. They’re the reason you had to have a padlock and a security camera on your door when you were a child. But, I’m not going to hurt you, I’m just here to support my hot, hard, and sexy stud. MAGGIE Always had to be different. You’re the only one supporting him in the whole wide world. I think most everyone gonna be getting behind PRL tonight. MISTER DICK From the looks of that squeaky voiced Mexican midget I’d say he’s had people getting behind him all his life, if ya know what I mean. I done touched on everything that needs to be touched on about PRL. I have made my points many times. Many times. And he ain’t refuted a one! That boy ain’t have a single counter argument to a damn thing I said. I just stand up here on TV, running him down, disrespectin him, makin’ him look a right fool and when its his turn to talk he don’t do nothing but spew some ten year old catchphrases, hawk a cheap t-shirt and bring shame to this here company. Well, all that tells me is that I been right about the boy the whole time. He proved it on the mic and I’m gonna prove it in the ring. Maggie, you know my daddy watches these shows. He don’t care much for most of ya’ll, but he loves watching his pride and joy. But that man told me in all seriousness that if I don’t beat down PRL I can say good by to the Mulligan family for a long time. My daddy knows PRL’s a disgrace, I know PRL’s a disgrace. I ain’t gonna lose to know disgrace. MAGGIE We’ll see about that. Coach, Mi- MISTER DICK Hold up, I ain’t finished saying what needs to be said. MAGGIE No, why would you be? That’d be just to easy. MISTER DICK There’s a man that’s been pissing me much more than PRL has. Because you see this man ain’t no wrestling geek acting like everyday is Halloween dressing up like somebody else. This man is someone who matters, because this man represents our nation and our constitution. Malaysia tell yer sister who I mean. MALAYSIA He means Krista’s dad, Congressman Duncan. I bet the old goat is just jealous he’s wasted all of Krista’s inheritance on Extenze and he still can’t get up like Jockie. MISTER DICK Either that or old man river got him a death wish. I tried to ignore what he said about me and be the bigger man in more ways than one. MAGGIE Boy, those never got old. MISTER DICK But I got pride, and I got self respect. I ain’t like PRL, I ain’t stupid enough to hear indignity after indignity and think I ain’t bein insulted. That man got on national TV and told me that I would be taken care of. He had conniptions, and got himself all worked up and told everyone I know and everyone I don’t know that justice would bring my day of reckoning. Old man, I don’t think you know about me. MALAYSIA Tell him about you, baby. Tell him all about you, tell him what kind of man you are. MISTER DICK I live my life on my terms, I do things my Mister Dick way and ain’t no body gonna bring me my day of reckoning besides the good lord himself. You can go and get crusty if ya’ll wanna, but I don’t live no where near Southern California, you ain’t got no authority over a thing I do Deputy Dog. I come from The Lone Star state and I don’t take kindly to a plug ugly gas bag like yerself trynna get me runnin scared with yer tough talk! But, I understand family is important and you gotta protect your daughters. I ain’t that much of a dick that I’m gonna let you go without getting a chance to do what a dad is supposed to do. Your political powers got no control over me, you can say watchu you wanna but you can’t do a lick of nothing to me. I’m gonna do you a real nice favor and I’m gonna change that for you. If you think a day of reckoning is coming anytime to soon to me, then you gonna have to bring it over yourself. You want justice to strike me? You better weild the gavel and strike me with it on March 19th because that’s when I wanna step in that ring with you on HeldDOWN and find out far yer willing to go to protect yer daughter. If you don’t stop me on that night, nobody ever will. Her blood is gonna be on yer hands not mine. MAGGIE Challenging old dudes to fights in the street? It don’t get any harder than Mister Dick….damn it now I’m doing it to. “Thanks” Malaysia, and MD. Peeps, enjoy the rest of the show.

Let's all take a moment to celebrate my fantasy Nerdly matchup come to fruition! [i]iF YOU ARE WHAT U SAY U ARE A SUPERSTAR THEN HAVE NO FEAR THE CAMERAS HERE AND THE MiCROPHONES AND THEy WANNA KNOW OH OH OH[/i] (Once again I repeat! I CPed this from a crappy website that’s why it looks like it was written for and by a tard) Dressed to match the Celtic theme, Miss Molly Nerdly emerges onto the stage in a green strapless tank top, orange flared skirt, and white knee high socks inside green sneakers. She pauses on stage to frame up the cheering crowd. With a good mental image of them in mind, she nods to herself and ventures down the ramp. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of twenty minutes! Now making her way to the ring fighting out of New York City, she is a graduate student at NYU Tisch School of Arts she is the 2009 MANAGER OF THE YEAR MOLLY NERDLY! On her way down the ramp, Molly signs several autographs from eager signature seekers. Everyone seems to want the autograph of the future greatest female director in movie history. COLE Molly Nerdly had the opportunity to attend the Oscars with Krista Isadora Duncan this past Sunday. Though it was a dream come true for her to meet her idols she said nothing compares to being live at an OAOAST event. COACH Sometimes I think getting crotch rot is comparable to being at an OAOAST event. In the ring, Molly has to assure some of the more territorial front row fans that she’s not a Yankees fan all. No she doesn’t even like baseball so back off with your creepy obsession with a team that’s won about 2 world series in 80 something years. [i]To un-explain the unforgivable, Drain all the blood and give the kids a show. By streetlight this dark night, A séance down below. There're things that I have done, You never should ever know! And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now[/i] [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwzwkJ9tgdI"]My Chemical Romance’s How I disappear[/url] brings hard rocking emo to the capacity Boston crowd. An electric blue bolt of pyro blasts across the entrance stage, as similar streaks of electricity flash on the numerous video screens throughout the arena. Onto a set that’s cloaked in somber blue lighting comes the OAOAST’s favorite teenage detective, Morgan Nerdly. Dressed in a Navy ruffled tiered layered mini skirt with floral embroidery and a short sleeved plaid shirt, Morgan has caused her clothes to contrast her dour expression. BUFFER And her opponent! She hails from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, and represents VICE, she is the teenage case cracker INSPECTOR MORGAN NERDLY! The nineteen year old does not partake in the autographing her sister so happily participated in. Her sole focus is on Molly and all the horrible, painful things she wishes to do to her. COLE Credit, if you want to call it that, for making this match goes fully to Lorelei DeCenzo who has decided not to get her hands dirty in her feud with Molly. So she ordered Molly’s little sister to do the job for her. She gets to watch backstage with caviar and Merlot while she tears a family apart. COACH One sister actively tried to destroy another’s relationship, another sister slept with the on again off again boyfriend of the youngest, one sister openly and proudly professes to enjoy sexually tormenting the others, the adopted son believes everyone else is destined for hell unless they accept him as their spiritual guide, the twin boys are 85% weed 15% blood and 100% stupid. There ain’t nothing left to tear apart in that family! Electrical sparks flicker violently off the turnbuckles coupling with the intense glower Morgan shoots out at the audience to create an intimidating scene. COLE Morgan is so eager for someone to accept and pay attention her that she's willing to become Lorelei's lapdog and hurt her own sisters just for acceptance. Hopefully that desire for acceptance won't lead her to cross the line in this match. DING DING DING Morgan stands across the ring from Molly, her dark eyes sparking with hatred. The look worries Molly but not enough to stop from plunging head first into a lockup. Elder sis quickly spins around to the back of younger sis to hook in a waistlock. Morgan squirms to bust out Molly’s grip. But the NYU student breaks the grip on her own to roll Morgan down with a school girl. Charles Robinson counts the fall… ONE! But, Morgan pulls herself out the pin. She scrambles towards her feet, her curly blond hair shielding an angered expression. Her anger isn’t eased any when Molly stabs her tennis shoes into her stomach. The film expert then lifts Morgan up for a bodyslam. But several elbows to her exposed neck line force Molly to loosen her grip and Morgan slides down her back. The Private Eye grabs Molly’s arm and twirls her around to face her. Before Molly can manage a defense, Morgan slugs her in the jaw with a left cross. Molly staggers backwards and she’s struck in the face by Morgan’s platform pump. The manager of the year topples over, her green sleeves draping across the top rope to keep her upright. While Molly tries to get her health back, her sister takes a run of the ropes. After coming back she strikes her bare knees into Molly’s back. The film buff screams out as though she’s been attacked by Freddy himself and then falls over to the mat. COLE Lorelei has to like the way this is going so far. COACH Lorelei is a cultured and classy dame, Mikey, she’s gonna need a lot more than a punch and a kick to be happy. She's gonna need diamond rings and Gucci purses. Morgan pulls Molly off the mat thinking she can easily do her more harm. But to her amazement Molly elbows her away. With one hand wrapped around a sore midsection, Morgan comes rumbling back to Molly. But the brown haired Nerdly counters by hip tossing her over! COLE Molly improves each and every time out. COACH If the standard for improvement is executing a hiptoss, Molly must’ve sucked when she first started! Furious, Morgan slaps the canvas with an open palm and rises to her feet. Bared fangs dare Molly to challenge her and when the film buff doesn’t, Morgan takes the fight to her sister with wild punches. But only a few connect as Molly sweeps her thin figure around Morgan’s back. There she’s able to lock her arms around Morgan’s neck in a sleeper hold. “Let me go!” Morgan screams, apparently more aggravated than anything by the hold. When Molly snorts a refusal to her request, Morgan is forced to try and use her platform heels to stomp her away out. But this strategy is made totally useless when the film buff drops her to the canvas with a sleeper drop! A pinfall follows… ONE! TWO! Morgan kicksout, looking none to pleased that she even had to do so in the first place. As she rises Molly throws her under a wave of strikes that daze her. Morgan stands with head lowered, curly hair drooping in front of her. This lets Molly charge into the ropes. Returning Molly plans to strike Morgan with a lariat. But she’s taken for a surprise when Morgan drops to the ground, locks her ankles around her knee high socks and drop toe holds her over. Eager to enact some revenge, Inspector Nerdly scurries to Molly’s side and drives her finger nails deep into her eyes. “Say you quit! Say it and then I’ll stop!” COLE Such cruelty. How can one sister do that to another? COACH Is your memory gone? Morgan ain’t even the meanest kid in the family. What about Malaysia? I’d rather be eye raked then strapped to a bondage table and have hot wax poured all over my whoo-whoo parts! Morgan finally releases her grip on her sister’s eyes. But she only does that in order to grab onto the film buff’s silky brown hair and slam her face into the canvas. Two more replays of that same move, and Molly is hollering in agony and Morgan’s red lips are grinning in delight. With another fistful of Molly’s hair she pull her off the canvas. But once again Molly beats her back with furious elbows. Unfortunately those elbows don’t do her a bit of good as Morgan steps forward and strikes her in the jaw with a superkick! “OOOOOOOH!” Morgan believes that’s enough to keep Molly down for the three and pins her to test her theory. ONE! TWO! Theory incorrect as Molly kicks out. Blue eyes flash hatred and pain at Robinson, as Morgan has trouble coming to grips with the failed pin. COLE Molly like her Anderson Cup champions Beverly Hills Blonds is very resilient, and very hard to beat. COACH It is hard to beat someone when a man in a clown suit smacks you upside the head with a ring bell. Lucky Morgan she can just blast him with electricity, poor Mister Moneymaker don't have that superpower. COLE She doesn't have superpowers! Molly is back on her feet and connecting with hard left hands to Morgan’s temple. But after the fifth one lands, Inspector Nerdly comes back with deadly force and slams a knee into Molly’s midsection. She then cradles Molly’s head within her arms, hooks onto her posh skirt and raises her high for a vertical suplex. But the moment Molly reaches the air her knees begin raining down on Morgan’s head and it isn’t long before Morgan is forced to release her hold on her sister. With her hand held to her aching head she stumbles backwards, damnining Molly for the pain she’s under. Molly certainly doesn’t make things any easier on Morgan as he strikes her with a dropkick that propels her into the corner. Morgan lays there in a daze, exhausted and labored breaths blowing out her straw curls. Molly frames her up in that image before running across the ring and leaping into her with a corner splash. COLE That splash and Babe: Pig In The City have a lot in common. They’re both Box Office Busts! COACH I thought Babe: Pig In The City had excellent pacing, brilliant photography, and a lead actor sent from the heavens! And he tasted delicious on my cheeseburger. As Morgan goes stumbling out the corner, Molly is able to scamper up the ring ropes. She waits patiently for Morgan to turn around and once her little sister does, she soars across the ring with a cross body block. But Morgan counters by grabbing Molly between the legs and flipping her over with a devastating powerslam. The second her elder sister crunches against the canavs, Morgan is hooking onto her bare legs, holding it back for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Molly gets her shoulder off the mat, and lines of frustration fill out Morgan’s youthful face. She rolls to her feet, hands on hips, lips curled into a snarl. She waves Molly up, and when Molly performs her request Morgan strikes her with a pair of knife edge chops. As red welts appear above Molly’s strapless top, the baby Nerdly grabs onto her head and snap mares her over. Molly sits on the mat, stunned, scarcely able to move. And this permits Morgan the chance to run to the ropes. Upon reaching Molly she punts her in the back and the pain for the NYU grad student is tremendous. COLE A HARD shot by Inspector Nerdly! It was all going so well for Molly a short while ago and now she’s back on the defensive. Exactly where Lorelei wants her. COACH Naw, Miss DeCenzo wants her on the injured reserves and if Morgan wants in on her Fav 5 she better put her on there ricky-tick. Morgan snatches Molly by the arm and rips her away from the canvas. Her head comes beneath her thin arm and she wraps her forearms around Molly’s bare waist. Next, Morgan raises her rival and sets her BUTT first onto the third ropes. That’s only to use them as a launching pad, as she spins backwards with Molly and drives the back of her head into the canavs! Molly is left behind to attend to her throbbing headache as Morgan heads to the ropes. They give her enough momentum to make the leaping elbow she plants on her sister’s skull especially painful. Morgan smiles a lovely if not creepy smile of relief think she’s put down her opponent. The legs are hooked and Robinson scores the fall… ONE! TWO! Again Molly kicks out and again the look of exasperation appears on Morgan’s face. She shakes her head and sighes, disbelieving her rotten luck with Molly. She gets to her feet, bringing Molly with her. But the film buff frustrates her even further to tossing jabs towards her chest. Highly annoyed by the piddling strikes, Morgan clamps down onto Molly’s Chocolate colored hair in hopes of getting her to stop. While Molly doe eventually cease her jabs, she only does that only to hit her little sis with a jaw breaker. Morgan’s eyes go wide as her face is immersed in pain. This let’s Molly snap onto her arm and hit her with a single arm DDT. “YEAAAAAAAAA!” Molly grabs hold of Morgan’s tanned legs (odd for someone who lives in Edmonton) with her eyes darting back to the corner to position her properly. Once she’s got Morgan properly lined up, the screen queen bridges backwards and flies her little sis to the ring posts. Only Morgan’s sharp reflexes save her as they land her perfectly on the posts. COLE A near miss right there. COACH I’m sure it wasn’t a near miss when Molly would throw VHS tapes at her head when she was a toddler because she couldn’t recite the monologue for Merchant Of Venice well enough. Molly comes charging in, expecting to knock Morgan off her roost. However, she runs right into a trap as the petite Nerdly girl takes her down to the canavs with a vertical knee strike. Another pin is made by the Private Eye… ONE! TWO! Molly pops out the pin mere moments before the three count. COLE You have to admire the way Molly has kept on fighting through this match. Just the same way Ned and Simon kept fighting against The Enterprise earlier tonight. COACH Its also similar to how when Molly, MARV and MEL would strip Morgan naked and lock her out the house in subzero weather, Morgan would keep on fighting to get back in the house before frostbrite robbed her of one of her appendages. Morgan clenches her left hand into a fist as her right summons Molly off the canvas. When Molly reaches an upright base, rage orders Morgan forward and she connects with Molly’s stomach with a powerful body blow. Molly is doubled over, as agony shoots across her midsection. This is just perfect for Morgan, and the junior detective guides Molly onto her shoulders in set up for a Samoan Drop. But the scene queen doesn’t stay atop the baby Nerdly’s shoulders for more than a few seconds before she manages to wiggle her way down Morgan’s back. Taking advantage of her freedom she pounces on Morgan, hooking her into an inverted facelock. Inspector Nerdly is immediately panicked and begins thrashing against her elder sis’ clutches. She almost makes a successful escape, but Molly shuts it down by dropping an elbow across her throat and slamming her to the canvas with the Final Cut 2 (which I am currently installing!) “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” After giving a thumbs up to the cheering crowd, Molly applies the lateral press… ONE! TWO! Half a second before Robinson’s hand can reach the mat, Morgan finds a way to escape the fall. COLE The final cut almost left Morgan on the cutting room floor. COACH I have it on good authority that Molly first perfected that move through the decapitation of Morgan’s Barbie dolls. Though groggy, Morgan comes to her feet and strikes at Molly with a side kick. But the future Oscar Winner catches Morgan’s platform pump, and wags her finger as though to say Morgan’ll have to try better than that. Inspector Nerdly follows that advice and swings around with an enziguri. But Molly tucks her head to her neck and her little sister completely misses, causing her self to crash land into the mat. The situation gets even worse when Molly hooks onto Morgan’s legs and raises her for a wheelbraoww suplex. But Morgan summons a burst of agility to roll forward and overtake Molly with a pinfall. Yet, she can’t even get a one count with her stronger sister pushing her into a reversal. ONE! TWO! But Morgan rolls her way out the pin! Shock and disgust plays upon her face, evidence that she can’t fathom why she hasn’t finished Molly off yet. COLE Both girls have shown that tremendous Nerdly fighting spirit here in Boston. But that's not going to be enough for Lorelei. She's demanded blood and Morgan, craving acceptance, is going to give it to her. COACH Morgan I demand a nipple slip, produce that and you could be chillin wit DA COACH in the VIP room of his mama's basement. Mikey, can you spot me two Lincolns for rent, big mama don't mess around when it come to that rent money! Morgan gets back to her feet, eying down her rival with a fearl glare. Molly braves this stare and steps forward to cut through her sister with a lariat! Down goes Morgan, hitting the mat with a hard thud, and she’s quick to roll onto the ring apron for a much needed breather. But that respite won’t come as quickly as she may have liked due to Molly bouncing off the ropes with arm raised for another lariat. But Morgan counters the head hunting attack, by ducking low and running beneath it. Missing Morgan, Molly skids to a stop, looking rather upset with her errant attack. She quickly whirls around to correct her mistake, and that’s when she’s leveled by Morgan’s top rope dropkick! COACH Miss DeCenzo gotta love the way that one looked. Sucker that art school snob in and then knock her out. There’s an edge to Morgan’s smile as she lifts Molly up. A cruel edge that lets her terrorize her sibling with lunging right crosses. Once done with punching, Morgan attempts an irish whip. But Molly reverses it, and launches Inspector Nerdly into the ropes. Molly raises her arm with plans to drop Morgan with a single punch. But Morgan finds a small opening between Molly’s legs, and quickly slides through it. With just as much speed she springs to her feet, and is able to catch Molly by further surprise by swinging her around and snagging onto her arms in a double underhook. Her sinister smile returns as she’s able to flip Molly over and brutally slam her back into the canvas. Robinson counts the pinfall that results from the powerbomb… ONE! TWO! Incredibly, the manager of the year kicksout! “YEAAAAAAAA!“ Molly flies upward and meets her sister with leg kicks that strike against her shin. Morgan is hobbled and winces in pain, having extreme difficulty in simply standing. Because of this she’s easily trapped inside an inverted facelock by the movie guru. COLE This match might be close to having its Final Cut! But Morgan uses every last bit of strength within her tiny body to push herself out her sister’s hold. Now free, she moves quickly to capture Molly before the bigger girl can recover. Morgan grabs hold of Molly and foists her onto her shoulders. Her eyes flash a hard hatred, as she properly positions Molly. And that hatred leads her to drive Molly downwards with thunderous force! COLE That death valley driver just left Molly in Shock and Awe! Though she’s thought this so many times before, Morgan can’t help but believe she’s truly defeated Molly. After a small prayer she falls on top of her for a nerve wracking lateral press… ONE! TWO! THREE! [b]DING DING DING[/b] Morgan peels herself off of Molly’s body, and allows a relieved if not painfully frustrated chuckle. [i]This is how I disappear[/i] returns back to the arena bringing with it several boos from the fans who expected a Molly victory. Morgan also doesn't get what she expects, as her pleading eyes, turned towards the entrance way, don't bringing out Lorelei for congratulations. BUFFER The winner as a result of pinfall....MORGAN NERDLY! COLE Inspector Nerdly has done it, and maybe she’s won herself a friend in Lorelei DeCenzo, but she’s done it at the expense of her family.

[b]DING DING DING![/b] BUFFER The following contest, scheduled for one fall, is the FINAL of the 2009 Anderson Cup Competition! One fall, NO time-limit, there MUST be a winner! Your referee when the bell rings, Mister Clem Buzzlefoxer the sixth. [i]"You break the laws You hustle, you deal, you steal from us all Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Money talks"[/i] "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The theme song of The Enterprise is greeted very poorly by the well inebriated Boston crowd. The reception cools further when they witness Theodore Moneymaker clad in a glittering Yankees themed robe. As the green and gold strobe lights flash across the stage, Christian Wrights makes his entrance with his briefcase held at his side. He exchanges a pleasant handshake with his long time friend and together they make their way down the ramp. BUFFER Introducing first, team number one. At a total combined weight of four hundred and sixty two pounds. Representing The Enterprise......former Anderson Cup champions AND One and Only Tag Team Champions, from Washington DC "THE NATURAL" CHRISTIAN WRIGHT and "from Vero Beach, he is The Angle Award winning BILLION DOLLAR HEIR", THEODORE MMMOOOONNEYMAKER!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE The Enterprise with the chance of a lifetime to be the first team to ever repeat as Anderson Cup champions. GPX, The Heavenly Rockers, no one has ever held the trophy twice. You can buy a lot of things with Moneymaker’s money, but you can’t buy those kinds of bragging rights. Moneymaker and Wright enter the ring by held open ropes, after forcing poor old Clem to perform the task. Not caring for the strain they may have put on his 90 year old bones, the money mavens take to the center of the ring and hold their arms high in preemptive victory. [i] iF YOU ARE WHAT U SAY U ARE A SUPERSTAR THEN HAVE NO FEAR THE CAMERAS HERE AND THE MiCROPHONES AND THEy WANNA KNOW OH OH OH[/i] (I CPed this from a website that’s why it looks like it was written for a tard) The red carpet rolls down the ramp, and the cheers roll down the stands as Lupe Fiasco’s atmospheric and dreamy plays over the sound system. Stepping onto the stage that’s shrouded a purplish green from the overhanging spotlights are the Beverly Hills Blonds. Each man holds a stern and fearsome expression for the two wrestlers in the ring, and the stonefaced glares fully returned. COLE For The Beverly Hills Blonds this is about more than trophies. Its about revenge, and retribution and respect. COACH Its about getting that ass beat by the group you never should have left in the first place! BUFFER And their opponents coming to you from Beverly Hills they are THE HANDSOME HUSTLER NED BLANCHARD, BOX OFFICE SIMON SINGLETON, THREE TIME ONE AND ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPPIONS….THE BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS! The fans put a large cheer for The Blonds, who near the ring with narrowed eyes locked firmly on Moneymaker and Wright. Somewhat fearful of the violent look that posses The Blonds, Moneymaker calls Wright in for chat session to determine how to handle this threat. COLE I think Moneymaker and Wright are starting to realize what kind of hatred The Blonds have brought with them tonight in Boston! The strategy session between Wright and Moneymaker drags just a tad bit too long for Ned and Simon’s taste. As such they latch onto CW’s curly black hair and throw him over the ropes. The fans come out with huge cheers as Wright touches down and Moneymaker gasps in horror. Wright quickly returns to his feet but is dropped right back down with an overhand left from Double S. Seeing that, The Messiah decides now would be as good a time as any to escape. But escape isn’t made easy when The Blonds lock him down into a double front facelock. The fans are overjoyed to watch the 4 time tag team champs suplex their former boss into the ring! “B-H-B! B-H-B! B-H-B!” Picking up CW, the pair irish whip him across the ring. He smacks back first into the corner, where he drops down to his BUTT and whimpers in exhaustion. Leaving Wright to agonize over his misery, the Blonds drag Teddy off the mat. He pleads with them to let him go, to remember all the good times they had together. Ned and Simon aren’t listening however and whip him straight towards Wright. Much to the delight of the audience Moneymaker crashes his knees directly into CW’s face. Horrible screams tear through CW’s throat, but Moneymaker is more concerned with his own misery and safety. He has excellent reason to be worried; Simon drags him out the corner and uses a belly to back suplex to throw him down to the canvas. Immediately upon hitting the canvas, Teddy rather wisely decides to slide out the ring. The fans insult him for his cowardice, but in his worn down state he hasn’t the strength to argue. COLE So far things are not going very well for Wright and Moneymaker on their quest to repeat as Anderson Cup champions. COACH Its still early, Mikey. We’ve seen lots of cats come out hot but at the end of the match they’ve blown up and they’re down for an easy pin. Wright is back on his feet, but rather than take the fight to his one time friends, he wishes to catch the same early breather as his boss. The Blonds help him arrange that as they team up on a double lariat that has him toppling over the ropes and coming down directly in front of the wrathful gaze of his employer. “YEAAAAAAA!” COLE Moneymaker and Wright have got to get The Beverly Hills Blonds under control otherwise it could be an exceptionally long night. Simon uses The Enterprise’s streak of yellow to work up the already flaming hot audience. Ned’s focuses is more singular, directed towards taunting and cursing Moneymaker and Wright. “CHICKEN SHIT! CHICKEN SHIT! CHICKEN SHIT!” the audience chants, picking up just one of Ned’s many vulgarities. Not wanting to go down as the only person to lose an Anderson Cup final by countout, Moneymaker makes a reluctant return to the ring. COLE I guess Moneymaker finally grew some guts! Not being able to hide behind your cash or your VICE squad makes things scary, I imagine. Moneymaker steps into Blanchard for a lockup. But that simple hold doesn’t last for very long as Ned breaks the hold to hammer The Messiah with punches. Moneymaker tries to get his guard up, to do something to prevent from being beaten into oblivion. But his weak guard is poor defense against Ned and The Handsome Hustler uses a right cross to blast him straight through the ring ropes to the outside. The audience explodes with glee as they witness the despised tycoon crash onto the Irish green outside mats. COACH Shame on Ned Blanchard, trynna cheapen the spirit of this competition by taking a count out victory. Its again with great reluctance that Moneymaker returns towards the ring. These fears are immediately justified when Blanchard begins ramming his elbow into the back of his old boss’ head. Moneymaker suffers through no less than ten painful blows to his head before desperation sees him shove Blanchard into the corner. Before the Handsome Hustler has a chance to escape the posts, Moneymaker uses an unusual burst of speed to strike him with a corner lariat. With Ned stunned for the moment, the billionaire is able to climb to the top rope and pepper him with punches. But he only gets of three jabs before he feels a tight grip around his waist. Only a second later he’s being driven down onto Ned’s knee with a harmful inverted atomic drop! While Teddy clutches his surely shattered testicles, Ned gathers speed by spinning around. He then unleashes himself upon Moneymaker with a diving lariat. He follows that move with a pinfall that’s counted by Clem Buzzlefoxer. ONE! TWO! Wright breaks the pin up with his loafers, which certainly does nothing to please the crowd. “SILENOOOOOOF!” CW’s trademark call for quiet is quieted by the elbow of The Handsome Hustler. Ever the opportunist Moneymaker seizes on CW being used as cannon fodder and hits his foe with an axe handle smash to the back. “Now, you’re gonna feel my power, Blanchard!” Moneymaker screams, watching Ned lurch over in pain. He snaps his arms around Ned in a rear waistlock he hopes will lead to a German Suplex. But Blanchard throws those plans into disarray by rolling downwards and catching the tycoon with a leg lock! Instantly Moneymaker finds himself under incredible pain and uses his free leg to kick frantically at Ned. Although more annoying than painful, Teddy’s strikes at least get to break his hold so that he may tag in Singleton. “YEAAAAAAA!” The Enterprise CEO uses the Blonds’ tagging as the moment to get his feet. Unfortunately any hopes of escape are dashed by Blanchard bringing him back down with a drop toe hold. Ned holds the squirming Moneymaker in place, as Simon bounces off the ropes. BOSS comes roaring off and strikes Moneymaker with a knee drop directly to the skull. The fans applaud, pleased to see the egomaniacal snob get exactly he deserves. COLE Dare I say that Theodore Moneymaker is being completely outclassed by his former henchmen? What a humiliation! COACH Slow that mess down. The Blonds are great athletes but they don’t have the smarts to keep this kind of showing up. That’s why they always took orders from Mister Moneymaker. Teddy gets back to his feet, desperately seeking susan and desperately seeking a way out the ring. Neither are forthcoming with Singleton trapping his arms within a butterfly lock. But using his understated power, The Messiah is able to quickly bust his way through Singleton’s hold. With great haste, he captures his former employee into a setup for a body slam. But, Singleton promptly slides down his back to escape. Trying to get a read on his foe, Moneymaker spins around only to get uppercuted to the ground. Simon then falls on top his foe for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Moneymaker kicks out, avoiding the humiliation of being pinned by a [i]punch[/i]. Next, Singleton heads to the ropes, unware that Moneymaker is already getting towards his feet. Thus he’s forced to a quick leapfrog when he approaches the risen tycoon. He bounces back off the ropes, stepping into a lariat. But Moneymaker is just shade quicker than him and crushes his body against the mat with a powerslam. His first offensive move of the match will be his last for now, as Moneymaker reaches his hand backwards to tag in CW. “BOOOOOOOOOO!” While hissing at the audience to still their tongues, CW waits for Singleton to rise. Once BOSS does get to his feet, The Natural savages his slender chest with a pair of European Uppercuts. After that Wright attempts an Irish whip. But, BOSS recovers his strength in order to reverse the hold. Wright rumbles back with head lowered like a bull, trying to impale his rival. But, a leap frog helps Singleton evade the tactic and CW continues to the ropes. Singleton tries another leapfrog on the rebound. But he’s read Wright wrong (awesome pun), as The Natural counters his jump with the [b]Wright Off[/b]! The fans leap back with shock, wondering how the tide of the match could’ve turned so quickly. COLE Big move by The Natural! He’s been in this position before he knows how one move, or one mistake can shift the entire direction of the match. COACH It just got shifted in favor of The Big E! Wright grabs Singelton’s ankles and spreads his legs apart. He taunts him with a grin, and then curses him with anguish as he stomps down on his stomach. Next, Wright brings BOSS to his feet and throws him into the green ring ropes. After bouncing off Singleton is forced to hop the lowered body of Wright. But this carries him right into the closed fist of Theodore Moneymaker! “BWHAHAHAHAHAAA!” Moneymaker is as pleased as punch to watch Singleton capsize as a result of his foul play. COLE Three time tag team champions versus the team that held the belt for one week. You might think the three time winners had a clear advantage, but Moneymaker and Wright are every bit The Blonds’ equal. With a hold of SS’ finely gelled hair, CW hauls him off the mat again. He further weakens him with a series of throat thrust that leave BOSS gasping for air. His situation turns all the worse when CW whips him into a neutral corner. Singleton hits the ring posts with such powerful force that he’s propelled back towards Wright. The CFO of The Enterprise sends a dashing straight into his jaw, that twists and twirls him before brutally dropping him to the mat. COACH That was a punch! Don’t think just ‘cause my man reads Wall Street Journal he can’t jack ya life up. Wright is quickly upon the fallen Singleton, bringing pain to his back with hard stomps. Double S tries his hardest to kick him away, but CW is able to avoid the weak attempt and merrily continues to punish his one time friend. Finally, Buzzlefoxer decides he’s had enough and decides to pull CW away to allow Singleton try and make a clean rise. “Unhand me, elderly swine!” Wright shoves past Buzzlefoxer to gain hold of Singleton and drag him upright. With a vicious snarl, he cups a hand beneath Singleton’s square chin, and infuriates the fans by spitting in his face! Injury is added to insult when CW strikes his rival with a European Uppercut. Singleton is in no position to fight back, and in fact has difficulty staying upright. That doesn’t become much of problem as Wright snapmares him to the canvas. He then follows that up by driving his pleated khakis into BOSS’ skull with a double knee drop. Satisfied with nearly breaking Singleton’s face, CW goes for a pinfall. ONE! TWO! Singleton kicks just a nanosecond before Buzzlefoxer’s hand hits the mat for a third time. COLE A close kickout by the three time tag team champion. As, Singleton gets to his feet, Wright charges at him, looking to lacerate him with his trusty spear. But BOSS black tights stretch through the air in a leap frog, putting Wright on a collision course with the ring posts. Fortunately for him, he manages to turn the deadly posts to his advantage and leap onto the second rope. As BOSS turns to face him, Wright is already halfway through the air, cutting him down with a diving shoulder tackle! CW hooks his rival’s leg for another fall… ONE! TWO! Once again BOSS finds a way to bring his shoulder off the mat. His entire body soon follows but he’s captured by Wright and thrown into the ropes. BOSS tries to stun CW with a standing sunsent flip, but the muscular financial guru refuses to be brought to the mat. Rather then wage a pointless war with The Natural, Double S lets him go free, and journeys towards the ropes. The cables spit him back towards Wright, who greets his return by capturing him into his arms. BOSS is spun like a disco ball before finally having his back shattered across Wright's outstretched leg by a tilt-a-whirl slam! The Natural roughly shoves his whimpering rival off his khaki pants leg and attempts a pin... ONE! TWO! Singleton kicks out, giving the fans quite the jolt of happiness as they expected him to fall victim to the pin. Singleton is whimpering in pain as his hands move to massage his injured back. But, CW pries his arm away from his wounds, using it as a rope to drag him upright. He then throws BOSS into the ropes. When the cables throw him back, Wright catches him with a lightening fast arm drag! The moment Singleton hits the mat, his screams are steady and loud. But their muffled by the two hundred twenty five pounds that lie across him for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Singleton raises his shoulder from the mat, but not without incurring severe pain through his limbs. On the ring apron Blanchard sees that his partner is in dire need of help and thusly directs his rage and anager towards Wright. “Come on, Wright, you wanna fight, let’s fight! I’m gonna mangle your face!” Blanchard shouts. Annoyed by the disrespect shown to him, Wright marches over towards Blanchard to give him a solid pummeling. Problematically, Wright is the only one who gets a pummeling as Singleton smashes a wave of elbows into the back of Wright’s head. In the middle of the assault, the film auteur pauses to capture the perfect image of his archrival. But that taunt comes with an extreme price for BOSS; CW roars back to life with a punch to Singleton’s midsection doubling Singleton over in agony. From there CW snares him into an underhook and promptly rips him into the air. Nary a second later, Valentine is powered into the canvas at the hands of the [b]Nightmare On Wallstreet![/b] “CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS!” Sharing similar sentiments, Blanchard resumes his insulting of Wright. The Natural’s rage is again drawn out by Blanchard’s taunting and he returns to the Handsome Hustler to answer his challenges. But, lulled into a furious stupor by Blanchard’s annoyance, CW fails to notice the quiet approach of BOSS. Its only when he's spun around by the three time tag champion does he realize that something is amiss. By that time its much too late to stage a proper defense, as he's already being twirled through the air courtesy of the Swinging Neckbreaker! His frame slams into the mat with terrific impact, instantly draining all life from his body, and bringing out a large cheer from the audience. While Ned laughes at CW’s misfortunes, his partner grabs onto the outside leg for a fall… ONE! TWO! Moneymaker breaks up the pin by slashing the point of his elbow across Singleton’s head. Unfortunately he pays the price for his meddling when Simon loosens his teeth with a lunging palm strike! He falls through the ropes, landing on the apron with a hard thud as blood trickles through his lips. Thankfully he’s spared further thrashings as CW introduces Singleton to the canvas with a side Russian leg sweep! With Singleton laid out, Moneymaker is eager to get revenge and so applies the tag with The Natural. “TEDDY SUCKS! TEDDY SUCKS! TEDDY SUCKS!” Upon entering the ring, Moneymaker hauls his one time friend off the canvas and then sends him into a neutral corner. Moving with unusual agility, Singleton leaps onto the third rope to avoid a disastrous crash with the turnbuckles. Moneymaker is frustrated by Singleton’s avoidance of certain doom and rushes forward to push him off the turnbuckles. But his plans meet with failure when Singleton crashes into him with a diving cross body block! Buzzlefoxer gets down to his knees just as quick as his 90 year old limbs will allow and counts the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Wright’s Brooks Brother’s loafers save Moneymaker from an embarrassing loss. Unfortunately, Wright is taken right off those loafers by BOSS’ spinning sweep kick. With both Enterprise members laying battered and bruised on the canvas, Singleton has any easy time of tagging his partner into the ring. “YEAAAAAAAA!” COLE And here comes Ned Blanchard, a superstar’s superstar. COACH And a deadbeats deadbeat. Blanchard hits the ring a 5’10 ball of child support dodging fire! He plows through Moneymaker with a lariat, and then takes out an incoming Wright with a superb spinning muay thai mid kick! The fans are on their feet, boisterously cheering on the brazen gladiator. “BLANCHARD! BLANCHARD! BLANCHARD!” Back on his feet Moneymaker dashes towards the Handsome Hustler with an axe handle smash. But Blanchard is ready for him and he halts his charge with a spinning kick to the mdisection. Moneymaker is left doubled over and daze and Blanchard is quick to capitalize on this. He snares his foe into a front 3/4th facelock and then sits out snapping his foe’s head right off his shoulder! His old boss timbers to the canvas like a redwood through a Northern California forest. His situation gets even worse as Blanchard leans over him and douses him with stinging trash talk. COACH This ain’t the kinda dude we need representing the Anderson Cup. You already almost broke the man’s neck, why you gotta talk some smack about diversifying his bonds? Finished with berating Moneymaker, Ned drapes his arms across his chest for a fall… ONE! TWO! Once more CW is forced to save his boss by breaking up the fall. Again this comes with harrowing results for Wright as Blanchard temporally cripples him with basement dropkick. This capsizes CW to his knees and makes him a sitting duck for Nerdly's next cataclysmic move. Blanchard runs the ropes to build speed, and rushes back towards his foe. Once reaching CW he stabs his loafer directly into his face! A grotesque wad of spit flies out of CW’s mouth as he plummets back to mat. Blanchard hasn't a second to celebrate the defeat of his foe, due to the vexatious Moneymaker returning back to action to floor him with a shoulder block. “BOOOOOOOOO!” “So what am I supposed to do? Just never attack him?” Moneymaker wonders to the fans. “……..” COACH Haha! Good job sir, you got em there. Moneymaker dishes out a trifecta of stinging stomps to Blanchard’s noggin, as he arrogantly stares out at the rabid audience. Finished with his stompings, he sinks to his stomach where he's able to easily trap Blanchard into a grounded facelock. The Handsome Hustler instantly feels the horrible affects of this elementary hold, a crippling constriction on his neck and a difficulty in breathing. Five seconds into the move, Buzzlefoxer starts to inquire as to whether Ned wishes to submit or not. Of course Moneymaker, who's turned the move into a subtle chokehold, answers for him, telling the Jurassic zebra that his foe has indeed given up. Simon responds back for Ned, telling Moneymaker to keep his mouth shut. COACH I don’t like how just ‘cause they got a few fans on their side, The Blonds have felt its okay to start having opinions and thinking on their own. You ain’t never gonna be as well of as you were when you had a Yale graduate doing your thinking for you. “LETS GO NED! LET’S GO NED! LET’S GO NED!” In spite of the swell of support for his antagonist, Moneymaker is able to quell any resistance, locking the Handsome Hustler down in the center of the ring. Salvation seems so far away for Ned, as the entirety of his vision is engulfed by the thin sweat drenched body of the one time Anderson Cup winner. Moneymaker squeezes on the hold as tight as the referee's overbearing rules will allow, making an act as simple as breathing a grueling effort for the Los Angeles native. Knowing that his body can't stomach much more of this misery, Blanchard takes up the arduous task of rising to his feet. Despite The Messiah’s best efforts to keep him grounded, he's amazingly able to stand, renewing hope within him and the audience. Sensing that his hold is rapidly deteriorating, Moneymaker switches the position of his left arm, using it to trap Blanchard’s shoulder. This means the Handsome Hustler is faced with an uphill battle, now forced to fight back as a one armed man. Desperation and worry lining his face, tries to counter with a hail mary back drop. But the tycoon holds his ground, and effortlessly brings Blanchard back down to his level. He decides he's through with wasting his time with a submission hold, and would rather splatter Marvin's brain matter across the mat with his finisher [b]The Spear of Longinus [/b]. He roughly jerks him into the air, but at the very height of the move the agile wrestler shifts his body free and lands behind Moneymaker. “YEAAAAAAA!” Enraged by the escape, Moneymaker turns around to strike his foe with a stiff discus punch. But Blanchard is quicker on the draw and catches Moneymaker with a crowd popping overhand right. As Moneymaker stumbles backwards, wondering how he’d lost the advantage so quickly, Blanchard charges to the cables. Upon bouncing back he leaps upwards to catch Moenymaker in the makings of a Lou Thez Press. But The Billion Dollar Heir’s arms find their way around Blanchard’s waist and he spikes him into the canvas with a spine buster! COLE A devastating move from wrestling’s most hated man. Moneymaker was able to see the Thez press coming and adjust accordingly, a benefit of fighting someone you’ve worked with for years. Moneymaker lays his body onto Ned’s for a pinfall that’s counted by ol Clemmy… ONE! TWO! Blanchard kicks out right as the ref’s hand hits two, generating quite the cheer of approval from the audience. After failing to get the three count on that last pinfall attempt, an annoyed Moneymaker stands upright before his opponent has an opportunity to collect his bearings. Upon measuring Blanchard and zeroing in on the perfect target to hit, Moneymaker leaps into the air and extends his billion dollar knee out, dropping it onto the neck of Melvin as he lands! The Handsome Hustler painfully howls into the night sky, leading the worried spectators to clap their hands in unison to rally the babyface. However, Moneymaker is back on his feet and itching to inflict more damage to his old friend. He backs into the ropes, and bounces off, once again jumping as he nears Ned’s weakened body. This time he extends his fistful of dollars and sadistically smashes it across the neck of Blanchard. That leaves The Handsome Hustler unable to stop his foe from applying the tag to Wright. COLE A tag made to a man that you can say has been one of Moneymaker’s most loyal mouthpieces. Every one of the many controversial moves Moneymaker has made, Wright has stood behind without question. Wright scrapes his overmatched enemy off the mat, and launches him into a neutral corner. Blanchard’s back is slashed through by the harsh posts, dumping further misery onto his battered body. The situation grows even worse when CW nearly shreds apart his pectoralis with a corner lariat. Blanchard staggers out the corner, wondering if anyone got the license plate of the truck that just hit him. Unfortunately the only response he gets is a bulldog that's speedily rolled over into a pinning predicament... ONE! TWO! Blanchard musters up the strength to kickout the pin, which relieves the Boston fans. Visibly annoyed, Wright dumps a round of stomps into Blanchard’s arms. Seeing a purple bruise swell on Blanchard’s arm stokes blood lust in Wright and he hauls his foe off the canvas to inflict fatal damage to it. He crooks his arm beneath his shoulder preparing to unleash a single arm DDT. But he’s overcome by shock when Blanchard yanks his arm out his clutches! Still stunned, he doesn’t think to stop Blanchard from trapping him into a front facelock. However, Wright recovers just enough of his strength to shove his foe into the ropes. Unfortunately all this does is give Blanchard enough momentum to turn him inside out with a lariat! As the fans cheer, Blanchard falls back onto Wright for a pivotal pinfall… ONE! TWO! The Natural gets his shoulder off the canvas, and the fans are incredibly displeased. Wright rises to an unsteady vertical base and eyes a tag with his partner. However his passage to freedom is blocked by Blanchard, who whips him to a neutral corner. Wright calls upon a rare show of agility by pressing hands onto the second rope and flipping himself vertically into the air. While that lets him avoid a crash with the turnbuckles it leaves him wide open to the painful dropkick Blanchard sends into his face. The fans are simply overjoyed at Wright’s horrible misfortune and loudly cheer the man who caused at. After Wright’s convulsing body settles, Blanchard goes for his latest pin attempt. ONE! TWO! An elbow from Moneymaker breaks up the pin. The Billlion Dollar Heir realizes his partner can’t take any more moves like the one previous, and so he drags him near their corner where a tag is made. Back in the ring, Moneymaker grabs hold of Blanchard’s thin blond hair and leads him to his feet. He swings the former tag champ over his right shoulder, and clamps onto his left leg, making escape all but impossible. Then Moneymaker jerks down on his victim's trapped leg, slamming him face first into the rock solid canvas. Clutching his bruised nose, Blanchard mutters under his breath, partially in pain and partially out of frustration for being bested by his former boss. COLE Emotion carried The Blonds at the start of this match- COACH But it ain’t doin them no good now! Intelligence is carrying the day! Moneymaker pulls Ned off the canvas by his arm and throws him into the green cables. But to his surprise Blanchard comes back with a rush of energy and sunset flips him into a crowd popping pinfall! ONE! TWO! Moneymaker pops out of the pin, looking outraged that it even occurred in the first place. COLE Blanchard almost got one right there. You don’t have to win with a pretty move or a high impact move, you just have to win. It’s the victory that’s important. Despite being the one who was pinned, Moneymaker is back to his feet first and uses this advantage to drag his bone-tired foe off the mat. He cocks his fist and then plants it between Blanchard’s eyes, staggering his foe. This lets him wrap his arms around Blanchard’s waist to lift him horizontally into the air. After a brief pause he drops Blanchard downwards, crashing The Handsome Hustler onto his bent knee. Ned hollers in pain, the agony spreading all throughout his back. Moneymaker turns to the audience, “NOW YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME THE MESSIAH!” “BOOOOOOOO!” With Moneymaker busy trading barbs with the fans, Blanchard tries to use that time to get to his feet. He grabs onto the ring ropes, employing them as aid. But halfway up, he’s struck in the back by a clubbing forearm from the Floridian. Two more forearms allow Moneymaker to take control of Blanchard, which he uses to drag him to the opposite corner and bash his face into the green and white ring posts. After hitting him with three hard shots, Moneymaker attempts to whip his foe to the opposite corner. But Blanchard amazingly manages to reverse the hold and Moneymaker finds himself slamming into the posts. More annoyingly he also must deal with Blanchard darting across the ring with arm raised for a lariat. But Moneymaker handles this in stride, raising his white boot to strike The Handsome Hustler right in his alluring face. Blanchard topples over, immediately downed by that awesome counter. Chuckling to himself, Moneymaker backs up to the second rope. He raises his hands to invite boos from the audience and then leaves his nest to drop the knee onto Blanchard’s head. A pinfall then follows… ONE! TWO! But, Ned kicks out right as CW was ready to enter the ring for celebration. “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Great resiliency by Ned Blanchard! The Handsome Hustler telling Moneymaker you’re going to have do more to kill my dream, I’ll never lie down for you. Moneymaker scrapes the Californian off mat, then drives his knuckle into his forehead. The attack knocks Blanchard loopy and into the waiting treachery of The Enterprise corner. Yearning to bring upon misery to his foe, Wright reaches over the ropes and hooks onto Blanchard’s arms. This allows his boss to ravage Blanchard’s midsection with unanswered punches. After being subsequently chewed out by the fans his substandard officiating, Buzzelfoxcer calls for an end to the illegal double teaming. At Moneymaker's orders, Wright begrudgingly capitulates to the ref's demands. “LET’S GO NED! LET’S GO NED! LET’S GO NED! LET’S GO NED!” Acting on a renewed spurt of energy, Blanchard bursts forward at CPA. But acting to protect himself, Moneymaker shoves him backwards into the ringposts. And as Blanchard’s lifeless body slumps against the ring posts, Moneymaker runs in to crush his larynx with a lariat! COLE A hard shot by The Billion Dollar Heir! Wrapping his arm around Ned’s head, a smiling Moneymaker takes him forward for a bulldog. But that infuriating grin disappears the moment The Handsome Hustler bridges backwards and crushes him with a devastating back suplex. “YEAAAAAAAA!”’ COACH No! Melody told me that Moneymaker’s bulldog isn’t reversible in No Homo! This game is broken! It needs a patch! As Ned lies on the canvas, taking deep and labored breathes the audience knows he must make a tag to keep their dreams alive. With loud cheers and thunderous clapping they try to rally the Californian to action. Joined with the shouts of encouragement with Simon, the fans voices stir life in Ned and he begins his crawl to his corner. Out the corner of his eye Moneymaker sees what’s transpiring. Though he’d love to stop Ned, he feels Wright is the best man for the job and makes his own moves to the corner. COLE Both superstars desperately trying to make that hot tag! Feel the drama of the Anderson Cup! Being healthier than Blanchard, Moneymaker reaches his corner first, and slaps the hand of Wright. The Natural rushes into the ring, ready to put the roadblock to Ned’s escape. But he’s just a second too late as The Handsome Hustler tags in BOSS! “YEAAAAAAAA!” Singleton overpowers Wright with a series of lunging chops that enable him to whip his foe into the ropes. CW bounces back and is promptly dropped by a leaping back elbow from the South Carolina born grappler. Moneymaker tries to come to his associates aid with a polish hammer, but Singleton casually discards him with a hip toss. While the fans cheer BOSS’ decimation of The Enterprise, Wright makes a slow return to his feet. His lethargy hurts him dearly, as Singleton is able to crunch his neck with a snap German Suplex. COLE Beautifully executed German Suplex. Simon is a true master maneuvers, an OAOAST version of a man of a 1000 holds. Holding his hand to his sore neck, Wright gets to his feet as much to seek an escape as to fight back against BOSS. He can’t do either, however, as Singleton nearly breaks his jaw with a powerful superkick! “YEAAAAA!” BOSS makes the pinfall… ONE! TWO! The Natural succeeds in lifting his shoulder off the mat at the very last moment. COACH Don’t let this one slip away, Mister Wright. You gotta show these chumps what’s really good. Wright reaches his feet under his own power but still can’t find any offense as his arm is seized for an irish whip! However, he shifts his body weight to reverse the hold. But the technical wizard Singleton reverses the reversal and pulls Wright down into a short arm school boy! The pinfall is counted by Buzzlefoxer… ONE! TWO! Again Wright finds away to kickout. Singleton leaves the complaints over the count to the fans, as he brings his foe to his feet. An irish whip sets Wright on the run, and he bounces off the cables, heading back to the lowered body of Singleton. But Wright takes advantage of Singelton’s lowered position by striking him with a knee lift that knocks them both over to the canvas! COLE Oh my! Let’s hope the momentum of The Beverly Hills Blonds wasn’t stopped by that one. COACH Let’s hope it was! Both men lie about the canvas, each exhausted by their individual bursts of offense. Each man wants a tag, but with his position so close to his corner its Wright who claims this goal first. With some strength left he’s able to aid his associate in a double team; together they tug back and forth on the ropes building up the necessary momentum to propel Moneymaker over them with a splash! But on his descent their scheme goes horribly wrong as Singleton slides out the way! “YEAAAAAAA!” Spurred on by that avoidance, Simon continues his fight to reach the ropes. Now the dazed and enraged Moneymaker makes attempts to stop him, reaching out to tug on the white laces of his boots. But Moneymaker’s efforts are for naught and Singleton slaps the stretched hand of The Handsome Hustler. The fans burst with a huge pop as Blanchard enters the ring to face the rising Moneymaker. Ned batters him with several toe kicks, doing enough damage to whip him to the ropes. As The Billion Dollar Heir rebounds, Blanchard attempts to catch him with a spinning back elbow. But Moneymaker ducks the whirling strike and continues his run of the ropes. As he bounces back he takes to the air and drops Blanchard with a diving shoulder attack. Immediately upon his own landing, he lays atop Blanchard for a pin… ONE! TWO! Blanchard kicks out and draws a great response from the fans in response. He makes a return to his feet and heads to the ropes. Bouncing back he intends on shoulder tackling his archrival, but The Billion Dollar Heir has him scouted and counters to lift him with an inverted atomic. Blanchard perfectly adjusts his game plan to this counter with a DDT! This would be a perfect pinning situation for Blanchard, but its all but ruined by the arrival of Wright. Before The Natural can bring any harm to the Californian he’s smacked by the running forearm smash of BOSS! Wright has little desire to incur further beatings from his one time ally and makes a hasty retreat to the outside. “B-H-B! B-H-B! B-H-B!” Singleton acknowledges the support of the audience with a thumbs up as he journeys up the rope. The Boston crowd’s cheers grow all the louder as Ned gets below him. Next Blanchard throws Singleton forward and the sentoning grappler land across Moneymaker’s chest to a large ovation! COLE They dropped The Atomic Blonde on him! Normally their dominant finisher would lead to a three count, but not on this occasion as Clem is adamantly insisting that Singleton leave the ring at once. COLE Clem, c’mon now! You don’t want to decide the game do you? Unconcerned with the complaints of both fans, Clem continues to call for Simon’s removal as though the very fate of the very world depended on it. His eyes widened to size of golf balls, his mouth opens to reveal chipped yellow teeth, the numerous lines on his forehead deepen, and enormous wads of spit fly out his mouth dancing in front of his strained and wrinkled face. Beyond Clem’s single-minded obsession, Wright lies unnoticed with his trusted briefcase in tow. After one last glance to make sure Clem is locked into his insanity, CW winds up and clocks Blanchard with his case! COLE Damn it, no! No! “BOOOOOOOOOOO!” Apparently thinking the boo is the sound of one giant ghost, a startled Clem turns around only to find there’s no apparition just a KO’ed Ned. Thankful he doesn’t have to do any ghost busting, he drops down for a count. [B]THE LIGHTS GO OUT![/B] COLE What on earth? The fans haven’t any idea what’s going on. They don’t know if it’s a power outage, a clever ruse, or something far more sinister. But the chance for theorizing doesn’t last terribly long as the lights come up just as soon they came on. The ring is strangely minus the elderly referee, but in his place is the even stranger sight of Ragdoll standing behind Moneymaker with ring bell in hand. RAGDOLL PeEK a BOo I sEE you! Alarmed Moneymaker turns around to stare into the caked makeup face of his constant tormentor. He assumes a defensive stance with raised fist, and his arms are raised ready to strike. His confidence is helped somewhat by Wright standing by his side, ready to war with the purple suited clown. RAGDOLL OhhhHOOhooo. I’m…not here to FiGHt YOu. I want to do a mAGic trick! WRIGHT A magic trick? Be you mad, or be you stupid? Get on with your childless shenanigans, low brow! Ragdoll twirls his hand around the ring bell, trying with all his magical might to make the thing disappear into thin air. As his fingers comically circle the still visible bell, Wright and Moneymaker look on with barely hidden frustration. Ragdoll continues doing his best to wow them with his trick but they can take no more of his poor magicanship. They step forward to strip him of his bell, but he suddenly slashes them both with the bell! “YEAAAAAAAA!” POOOF Just like that the crafty magician disappears in a shroud of green and purple smoke! With Ragdoll gone through the use of magic the fans can turn their attention to the BHB’s who have found Buzzlefoxer under ring wearing a battle helmet and clutching a bayonet! “Sergeant, where are ya? Sergeant Wilkes where are ya? Is that you Sarge? Sarge don’t leave me here! Sarge! Sarge! Oh god! They’re coming for me! God damn it Charlie is on my ass! Charlies in the bush! Sarge, god damn it, Sarge don’t leave me here! Don’t leave me to die like this! Sarge you son of a bitch don’t you do this!” NED AND SIMON [img=http://fc79.deviantart.com/fs40/f/2009/029/e/d/Annoyed_Shrug_by_ifreaker.gif] Ned and Simon drag Clem out of war flashbacks by pulling him from beneath the apron and throwing him, bayonet and all, into the ring. Blanchard follows him in to hook Moneymaker’s leg for what could be a match winning pinfall… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! “YEAAAAAAA!” COACH Man, that’s some ol bullshit! That’s some ol bullshit! COLE No that’s some justice. That what it is, Coach. Justice. Blanchard is the happiest he’s ever been pumping his fist in celebration and dousing Moneymaker is some well deserved victorious trash talk. Simon is equally as excited putting his arm around his partner, and waving in triumph to the joyful audience. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen... here are your winners... and, the 2009 ANDERSON CUP CHAMPIONS!!! The BEVERLY HILLS BLONDSSSS! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” Down the ramp comes Molly, holding the gaudy golden trophy and absolutely whooping for joy. The Blonds wave to her, eagerly awaiting both their manager and their gigantic trophy. But their joyful expression quickly turns dour when they notice [i]Spencer Reiger[/i] emerging through the back. Like a thief through the night New York’s finest sneaks behind Molly, and with one swift motion manages to sneak the trophy out her hands! COLE Come on! Did he really just do that?! As the fans boo Spencer’s total lack of class, the one man triple threat merrily skips back up the stage waving and wagging the title like a little kids shows off a new toy. Once he reaches the top of the stage he turns back to Molly who has now been joined by the rightful owners of the trophy. SPENCER So you guys want this? MOLLY, NED AND SIMON Yes! SPENCER You really want this? MOLLY, NED AND SIMON Yes! SPENCER Oh. Too bad! Spencer outrages both The Blonds and the audience alike when he chucks the trophy off the stage. Its not to water side either, as it lands on the concrete shattering into hundreds of pieces of splintered wood and chipped metal. Molly and her charges are left to stare with horrified eyes as a celebrating Spencer Stanky Legs his way backstage. COLE An unbelievable and disgusting epilogue to a great ending of the Beverly Hills Blonds and The Enterprise. But the fact remains that Spencer may have destroyed the trophy but he didn’t destroy what happened tonight. The Beverly Hills Blonds are your Anderson Cup champions!

Me becoming president of TSM OAOAST has had more impact on the hood than Obama becoming president of the USA And this is coming from a guy who bought 2 "obama or die" shirts I was in the hood yesterday passing out free turkeys on some Nicky Barnes before he snitched shit (i got them for really cheap, they had a lot of left over turkeys a few days after thanksgiving and I've been hoarding them for just such an ocassion) Anyway, of course I have a fresh taper so the young teenage dopeboys come talk to me for guidance because they think I'm a business man, and they're telling me about how they feel (no homo) One kid approached me and his eyes started to water as he started speaking, he said to me.... "I.I.I.I.I, I just never thought my grandpa would get to see the day when a black man......" His voice was starting to crack, so I interrupted him so he could compose himself...I said "when a black man would become president of the usa, I know your grandpa is proud" The kid looked at me like "President of the usa? teddy bear, I never thought my grandpa would see a black president of the OAOAST. After they made Zack and AS one I figured it was back to Jim Crow times." I looked at the kid and tried to see if he was kidding....he wasn't Other kids rushed up to me like "yeah, I had given up on the OAOAST, I switched to fantasy curling or Digimon cliques because I know at least over there I can get a shot at that president title" little dope boys ran up to me like "I dont have to sell this poison to my people, you proved that I can be president of the OAOAST if I work hard enough" Then like some shit out of a movie, everybody was in the background chanting "yes we can" they threw on some J Paul Jr and we started zydeco dancing with the old church ladies......everything was peaceful that night. Has anybody else noticed this in the hood of your city? My impact is felt all over the world. Kids know that just because they get good grades in school, graduated near the top of their class in college, can speak another language and articulate enough for a white person to understand you the first time you said something doesn't make them any less black. It's such a great thing to see. It's a wonderful change. Really what has Obama done that I haven't done? Obama has preached about change but has he changed anything yet? I have changed the whole outlook of a RACE. I saw a young kid getting out of school with his report card in his hands yelling I Patty'd all my classes. It was music to the ears. If Patty wasn't what he is right now, would Obama even be senator let alone president? I highly doubt it. I thank you and more importantly I thank god for giving me this opportunity to spread the light to my people. Peace be with you, brothers.

We don't fuck with self hate here. Come in for some lovin Welcome back, cool news about the short film, keep us updated on it!