Patty O'Green

Whenever the world famous interview stage is around you know Tony Brannigan is near. It's no different this week. The OAOAST Original perched at his usual spot. BRANNIGAN This Sunday night is AngleMania IX live exclusively on pay-per-view. Among the many exciting bouts you'll see that night is a Sin City Street Fight between the Heavenly Rockers and Team Heyross. Not only will it be the first Sin City Street Fight take place in Sin City itself, Las Vegas, it also marks the return of Quentin Benjamin to the ring since his near fatal encounter with a fireball courtesy of Colonel Abdullah Nerdly. At this time I'd like to introduce my guest this week, one-half of Team Heyross... CHARLIE MOSS! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Moss acknowledges the crowd as he makes his way to the stage. BRANNIGAN Charlie Moss, big win over Logan Mann earlier this week on OAOAST Syndicated, but I know it'll pale in comparsion to a Team Heyross victory at AngleMania. MOSS To borrow a phrase, the clock is ticking. Quentin and I have been itching to get our hands on the Heavenly Rockers and their chicken manager Colonel Abdullah. Everybody I've talked to the past week has asked if we're ready for the hostile crowd that'll be on hand. My answer's been ask the Heavenly Rockers because they're in for a rude awakening if they expect to be greeted as returning heroes. And if the fans don't give it to them... we will. Quentin's been rehabbing every day for this moment and you can bet it'll be anything but a homecoming for the Heavenly Rockers. "Shine" cues and Moss exits. BRANNIGAN Like the Heavenly Rockers last week, Charlie Moss short and sweet with his remarks. What a war it's gonna be at AngleMania. COMMERCIAL

Master Blaster jams into the arena as Denzel Spencer sets off green and yellow pyrotechnics. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following eight person bout is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of sixty minutes! Introducing first….From Montego Bay, Jamaica... weighing two hundred, twenty five pounds. The OAOAST HEARTLAND CHAMPION... DDEEEEEENNZZZZZZEEEEEEELLLLLL... SSSSSPPPEEEEEENNCCCEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!! Denzel slides into the ring and showcases his Heartland title to the roaring audience. COLE All eight men in the Money In The Bank contest at Anglemania will be competing in this match, including Alfdogg who qualified at a non-televised event on Wednesday. The Wall by Kansas comes to life as the entry way fills with blue lights and matching smoke. Entrance doors shred apart bringing out the intimidating twosome of ThunderKid, Sandman. They stand tall and proud atop the entrance stage, unaffected by the jeers and taunts that swell around them. ThunderKid wears black bicycle tights with white lightening bolts down the side, and matching black boots and elbow pads. Sandman wears his traditional garb of bandanas, black sweatpants and a white sleeveless Deadly Alliance shirt. BUFFER First from Green Bay, Wisconsin, he is a former United States and tag team champion….THUNDERKIIIIDDDDDDDD! And his partner, a former Heartland Champion, he is from South Of Heaven, THE SAAAAAANDMAAAAAAAAN! “BOOOOOOOOO!” Magnum Opus begins playing, causing the lights to fade into a darkness. The arena stays under this erry blackness until the opening beats of the song kick in. Then a metalliac gold light hangs with forboding presence over the entrance way. It heralds the arrival of Alfdogg, who receives an explosive reception from the capacity crowd. BUFFER And their final partner…from Anderson, Indiana he weighes two hundred thirty seven pounds….he is a three time OAOAST world champion…ALFDOOGGGGGGGGGGG! The gold light cloaks Alf on his way down to ringside, as the former world champion holds his head high in self importance. He then enters the ring, brushing past the disdainful stares of ThunderKid and Sandman to settle in front of the main camera. His arms flare out to his sides, he drops to one knee, and a pyro wall comes to life behind him. COLE Now that’s an entrance! Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum (Jesus Walks) God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down (Jesus Walks with me) The only thing that that I pray is that my feet don't fail me now (Jesus Walks) And I don't think there is nothing I can do now to right my wrongs (Jesus Walks with me) I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long Green and yellow lights fall across the neon entrance stage, while Kanye West’s smash hit “Jesus Walks” comes through the speakers. Wearing black slacks and a navy blazer, a smug Christian Wright emerges from the entrance way. At his side stands the equally confident and snobbish, Lorelei DeCenzo. The two Enterprise members hook arms and travel down the entrance ramp with noses held high as green pyro explodes at the side of the stage. BUFFER And the opponents… Now entering ringside, accompanied by Lorelei DeCenzo, he weighs 8 1/3 bars of gold, from Washington DC, he is THE GOD CHILD….CHRISTIAN WRIIIIGHTTTTT! Wright and Lorlei take up position at ringside, both discussing strategy and mocking the poor Rio Rancho audience. There’s a lot to mock. 3 Doors Down’s ode to the army “Citizen Soldiers” hits, and Baron Windells and Tim Cash storm through the entrance doors with purpose and intent. Behind the duo is Melody Nerdly, clad in daisy duke shorts and flannel top, warming up the audience and stirring their passions. Yes I’m reusing an entrance, leave me alone. BUFFER from Peoria, Illionois, he is Gentleman Tim Cash! And his partner he hails from San Antonio, Texas, he is The Lonestar Gunslinger….BARON WINDELLS! Accompanied by Melody Nerdly, they are…..CITIZEN SOLDIERS! Not at all happy with the selection of his partners, Wright keeps his distance from Cash and Windels, His revulsion continues to worsen when he hears the following song…. "THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP..." *DUN DUN* "...IS..." *DUN* "...HERE!" BOOOOM! A lightening bolt hits the entrance, electrifying the audience as the fan favorite PRL tears out the back. Smoke fills the entry way but just as soon at it forms its shredded apart by the roving figure of The Latin Lion. BUFFER From San Juan, Puerto Rico weighing in at two hundred twenty pounds he comes in as a former OAOAST world champion, a former 24/7 champion, and a former X Division Champion. He is THE GREAT ONE, THE LATIN LION, THA PUERTO RICAN! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Tim Cash, Baron Windells, Christian Wright, PRL Vs TK, Sandman, Alfdogg, and Denzel Spencer COLE A very odd position for Alfdogg to be in, teaming with his former Deadly Alliance teammates. I’m sure he doesn’t appreciate Josie’s selecting of the teams! Folks, we’ll be back with this exciting match! COMMERCIAL Back live on HeldDOWN Baron Windells is steam rolling through Sandman with powerful lariats! Sandman attempts to reach out towards his corner, but a pair of stomps keeps that plan halted. Windells lifts Sandman off the canavs in order to throw him into neutral corner. Sandman hits with such force that his entire body is propelled back towards the center of the ring. This allows Windells to snap him inside a front facelock. The crowd is brought to their feet by the sight of the Brigham Young Cocktail (leaping DDT!) A pinfall is quickly attempted by The Lonestar Gunslinger… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! But TK arrives into the ring to break up the pinfall with a kick to BW’s back. Windels and the fans have a few words for TK as the Green Bay native slinks back to his team’s corner. As the fans continue to taunt TK, BW comes to his feet and drops a series of elbows onto his foe’s stomach. COLE Two great all star teams here in Rio Rancho, and a lot of animosity between many of these men. Windels scrapes Sandman off the canvas with the aid of a front facelock. He then drags him across the ring, where Christian Wright is able to apply a tag. “BOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “SILENCE!” Wright chides the audience for their disdain. Unfortunately for him, his distraction with the audience allows Sandman to begin elbowing him in the stomach. However, Sandman’s flurry of offense doesn’t last long. Wright is able to throw him into the canvas with a lethal snap powerslam. Referee Earl Hebner drops into position to score the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Sandman brings his shoulder off the canvas to the delight of a relived ThunderKid. He’s quickly brought to his feet by The God Child. However, Wright preens and postures allowing Sandman a moment of recovery. This regained strength allows him to rake the eyes of his snooty opponent. With Wright stunned, Sandman is able to make a crucial escape to his corner. There he suceeds in tagging in ThunderKid. The DA member struts across the ring to blast his foe in the chest with hard forearms. But CW is eventually able to block the attack pattern and returns fire with European uppercuts. The blows stagger TK and force him back towards the center of the ring. There he’s trapped inside an arm wringer, and brought down with tremendous force with a single arm DDT. While TK clutches his sore limb, Wright retreats to his corner to apply a tag with Tim Cash. COLE Wrestling’s last real good guy on his way into this affair. Cash takes aim at his opponent with a pair of jabs that weaken TK against the corner. Timmy then does the nice thing and answers BW’s call for a tag. The fans salute the arrival of BW with hearty cheers. He doesn’t disappoint them as he lays into the former US champion with brutal stomps to the stomach. Once done with his attacks, BW scrapes TK away from the corner. He then shoots him into the ropes, in order to flourish forward and connect with a beautiful lariat on TK’s rebound. With sore chest in mind, TK rolls over onto his stomach. But this leaves him open to a knee drop that connects perfectly with his skull. As he whimpers his miserey, BW grabs onto his leg for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Alfdogg of all people breaks up the pinfall! This surprises the audience, who assumed he’d just as soon let TK lose the match. What doesn’t surprise them, however, is that he drags TK across the ring merely to tag himself into the contest. “YEAAAAAAAA!” Despite having his pin broken up, BW offers a respective nod to the OAOAST legend. The two brawlers then get down to business, trading powerful right hands that teeter them both. On the verge of losing the brawling war, Alfdogg stuns BW with an arm drag. BW tries to quickly scurry upright, but Alf holds him down with an armbar. COACH I gotta sit through this junk? Two men who don’t deserve to be in the money in the bank match. COLE Don’t deserve? You’ve clearly gone mad. Both these men are two of the finest competitors in the OAOAST. Windels manages to fight his way upright, no easy task given the treatment Alf’s given him. He begins using his free hand to pound away at Alf, and eventually secures his freedom. With Alf dazed for the moment, BW shoots himself into the ropes. On his return, he misses with a lariat, but delights the crowd by connecting with a bommerang lariat! COLE Myspace Comeback! Alf comes back to his feet, with his hand protecting his sore head. BW makes the mistake of attempting to remove this shield, and pays for it with a flesh rending knife edge chop that puts BW on his back. COLE The best in the business, unquestionably. Alf makes a cover attempt… ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Alf drags BW up with the aid of a front facelock. A vertical suplex attempt is easily blocked by Windels, who then executes a shocking suplex of his own! Exhausted from the rough exchange, Windels decides to crawl to his corner and apply the tag with Cash. The good guy of the OAOAST enters the ring to pepper the former world champion with left jabs. Alf throws out a lariat in his defense, but misses entirely. This allows Cash to connect with a side Russian leg sweep to counter. Pleased with his performance, Cash gracefully bows out to PRL! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans chant as PRL takes a moment to SNIFF~! the air! PRL begins unleashing his legendary Rock style punches on Alf, snapping the Indiana native’s head to and fro like a tennis ball. But Alf once again uses a knife edge chop to shut down his opponent’s series of attacks. PRL remains dazed as Alf bounces off the ropes. The 3 time world champion returns to strike down his old rival with a running elbow. A pin attempt is then made…. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! “Do better than that, Alf!” TK mocks his partner on the outside. Alf shouts back at his former friend, leading to a heated argument between the two. But the barking comes to a sudden end thanks to a school boy by PRL… ONE! TWO! Alf kicksout! “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” Alf is to his feet remarkably quickly, and lashes out with a spinning elbow. But PRL counters with a kick to the gut and stuns Alf, literally, with The Cappa Killer! COLE From out of nowhere! PRL falls back into his corner where Christian Wright makes a wise tag. The Wright enters the ring to find Alf back on his feet with alarming speed once more. CW pushes himself off the ropes in an effort to take Alf down. But the former world champion strides forward and catches his rival inside a sleeper hold. However, The God Child quickly counters with another stunner to Alf’s sore jaw! Feeling his oats, Wright rushes to his opponent’s corner and drags Denzel Spencer into the ring. COLE Now what is this? What is Christian Wright thinking? “I quarrel with you, good sir!” Wright shouts to Denzel as he begins smashing his chest with European Uppercuts. The God Child then ends the procession of uppercuts in order to attempt an irish whip. But Denzel reverses the hold and pulls Wright in close for a short arm knee strike! Leaving Wright hunched over and bone weary, Denzel pushes himself to the ropes. But as he comes back Wright returns to life and upends him with the Wright Off (sky high)! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” No pin may be attempted however, thanks to ThunderKid rushing into the ring and kicking Wright in the back of the head. TK turns to Alf and shouts, “That’s how you do it, Alfdo…” But he’s interrupted by a running bulldog from PRL! The Latin Lion pauses to sniff the air once more and the audience erupts with cheers. “PRL! PRL! PRL! PRL!” COLE They love The Latin Lion here in Rio Rancho, and what’s not to love? COACH Everything. COLE Folks, we’ll be back with more of this matchup after this! COMMERCIAL Returning from break we find Sandman with the advantage over Tim Cash, holding down the good guy with a chin lock. Cash’s teammates, aside from Wright, root him on, urging him to hold strong. While on the opposite end of the ring, TK barks for a quick submission. “TIMMY! TIMMY! TIMMY!” the audience sings, providing the strength Cash needs to begin fighting out the hold. COLE So much animosity exists between these two men. I bet Sandman is trying to rip Cash’s head off! COACH I can’t blame him for trying. Thanks to the great support of Rio Rancho, Cash is able to make his way upright. He breaks free of Sandy’s hold, and thanks the capacity crowd for their acts of kindess. Unfortunatley, being a good guy does not pay off at this moment; Sandman brings Cash to the ground with a surprise flapjack. COACH I love it! A pinfall attempt is made by Sandman… ONE! TWO! Cash brings his shoulder off the canvas, easing the hearts of his nervous team. Annoyed with not getting a three count, Sandman makes a begrudging tag to Denzel Spencer. “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” Denzel celebrates his more normal arrival into the contest with some carribeian dancing, before getting down to business. He grabs onto Cash’s arm and throws his rival into the corner. He then charges in after him and takes to the skies to hit a devastating body splash! Cash stumbles out the corner, the punishment he’s taken wearing on his face. That look is replaced by one of compelete blankness as Denzel takes him down with an axe kick! COLE Oh my! What a strike! And what a beating Tim Cash has taken in just a few moments at the hands of Denzel Spencer? COACH Nothing but what that sucka ass sucka deserves, Mikey. Just wish it was a cooler cat to deliver it to him. Denzel hooks the legs for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Cash finds the strength and the will to push himself out the pinfall. As he begins to slowly come to his feet, Denzel takes off into the ropes. He returns with another axe kick. But this time its Cash scoring with an enziguri! The Heartland Champion flips over to the canvas, brought down by the beautiful attack of Cash. His team begs him for a tag, all except CW, who seems uninterested in the proceedings. “Jesus! Can’t you do any better than that?” TK barks at Denzel, earning him a stern stare of admonishment from Alfdogg. Meanwhile both men make a crawl to their corners, the fans rooting them both on in their journey. Their exhausted bodies are allowed to rest for the time being as tags are made to Wright and Alfdogg. “Very well, if I must.” Wright bemoans his fate. However, his luck is far better than he expected as he’s able to overpower Alf with his European uppercuts. An irish whip attempt is reserved, but Wright earns the last laugh with a snap powerslam that gains a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Alf makes a timely kickout! “ALF IS GOD! ALF IS GOD! ALF IS GOD!” Wright turns furious eyes onto the audience, “I am The God Child!” Wright makes Alf pay for the audience’s transgressions with a painfull inverted atomic drop. As Alf is hobbled by the attack, Wright measures him up and takes him down with a nasty European uppercut. COACH Man, look at the way Christian Wright is using them things tonight. He’s just lighting boys up! “Your frog splash shalt be your doom!” Wright informs Alf to a chorus of jeers. His loafers carry him up to the top rope where he seeks to bring upon his prediction. Without wasting a second of time he flies forward with the Frog Splash! But Alf has the wits about him to move out the way! Wright crashes stomach first into the rock solid canvas and howls in misery. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” The fans delight may be expanded even further as Alf grabs onto Wright’s legs and begins setting up for the Sharpshooter! “SHARPSHOOTER! SHARPSHOOTER! SHARPSHOOTER!” But disappointment is all the audience will find as Wright succeeds in sucking Alfdogg down into a pinfall effort… ONE! TWO! Alf finds his way out the troubling pinfall, and regains hold of Wright’s legs! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” The sharpshooter is fully executed as Wright is turned over onto his stomach. The audience rises to their feet, fully expecting the end of CW’s unbeaten streak. The God Child shrieks in agony, and desperately reaches out for the ring cables. But the closer he gets to salvation the tighter the hold becomes until he can move no further. COLE He’s going to tap, Coach! He has to tap! I just don’t see how he can survive much longer. He doesn’t have to as PRL rescues him with a dropkick to Alf’s back! Alf is forced to let go of CW, much to the fans’ chagrin. To Alf’s chagrin PRL traps him inside a front facelock in set up of the PR Nightmare! But before the finisher can even be executed The PR Menace is sent flying over the top rope by a lariat from ThunderKid! “I just saved your ass.” TK chuckles at Alfdogg. COLE Folks, we will be back with more of this great matchup on HeldDOWN~! COMMERCIAL We return from break with Sandman battering at PRL’s skull with mounted punches. “P-R-L! P-R-L! P-R-L!” Through with pounding at PRL’s skull, Sandman leaves the wounded superstar behind and makes a tag to ThunderKid. The audience does not receive ThunderKid very well, pestering him with jeers. He pays them little attention as he strikes his thunderbolt boots into PRL’s knee. COACH This has turned into a handicap match since commercial, dudes is straight ethering PRL and for once I feel safe with that fool ass around. TK grabs onto PRL’s leg and snaps it to the side, causing the former world champion a great deal of anguish. TK then grabs onto the leg and twists and torques it, sending screams through PRL’s throat. “Give up!” TK demands. Despite the pain, PRL snaps back, “Go to hell!” “P-R-L! P-R-L! P-R-L!” the fans sing led on by Tim Cash and Melody. Not wanting to disappoint his Lightening Bolts with a submission loss, PRL begins fiercly fighting out TK’s leg trap. He uses his free foot to kick and wack at TK, doing only little to win his freedom. His efforts are then shut down by TK driving an elbow onto his bad leg. “P-R-L! P-R-L! P-R-L!” COLE Its been a tough several minutes for PRL. COACH And hopefully it gets tougher! Let’s see someone snap his ankle. Alfdogg may do just that as he makes a blind tag with ThunderKid. The two men get into each other’s face and spew hateful diatribes at the other. Thankfully for their team, the referee comes between them and calls for a separation. Free of ThunderKid’s annoyances, Alfdogg is able to wrap PRL up inside a leg lock. COLE Two OAOAST legends going at it, live on HeldDOWN days before Anglemania. Once again a pained PRL must put his free leg to use. He uses it to batter Alf with ferocious kicks to the head. Eventually they do enough to cause Alf to break the leg lock entirely. But PRL isn’t in the clear yet, as Alfdogg begins pulling him to his feet. However, Alf and the fans are taken for a shock when The People’s Champion hits Alf with his second Cappa Killer! COLE Again from out of nowhere! PRL’s team calls for an urgent and much needed tag. However with a wounded leg, movement is a difficult prospect for PRL. Stubborn to the last, PRL fights to his feet but refuses to make the tag with his partners. Instead he goes toe to toe with Alfdogg, trading blows with the OAOAST legend. COACH Selfish, selfish, selfish. That’s all PRL is. He’s just in it for the glory! PRL begins gaining the upperhand with his Rock style punches. He sniffs the electricity in the air once more before throwing a haymaker Alf’s way. But Alf ducks the wild attack and grabs hold of PRL’s waist. From there he bridges backwards and sends PRL crashing to the canvas with a belly to belly overhead suplex. “ALF!” “PRL!” “ALF!” “PRL!” COLE An audience divided here in Rio Rancho. Both men command tremendous respect from the OAOAST Galaxy. Alf dives on top of PRL’s prone body for the pinfall… ONE! TWO! PRL summons up the strength to power out the pinfall. This earns a mini temper tantrum from TK, who blames Alf for failing to secure a crucial pinfall. COLE What did TK expect? You’re dealing with a former world champion. They aren’t easy to keep down. Alf attempts to slap on the sharpshooter to great fanfare from the sold out audience. But PRL will not tolerate being locked into certain defeat and furiously kicks at Alf. With much strength and much luck, he succeeds in kicking Alfdogg back to his corner. There Sandman makes a blind tag that does not endear him to his one time associate. Entering into the ring, Sandman spears Baron Windells off the ring apron! Tim Cash complains about this questionable tactic to the referee. Unfortunately for him his complaints earn him a straight left hand from Sandy. Wizened after these brutal attacks, Wright merely hops off the apron and takes up position at Lorelei’s applauding side. COLE What cowardice. “Discretion is the better part of valor!” Lorelei shouts at the judgmental announcer. Sandman picks PRL up by the bad leg. PRL reaches backwards, expecting to be able to make a tag with somebody. Yet there is no somebody available, as all men have been forced to vacate the premises one way or another. With PRL left by his lonesome Sandman cracks a small smile at his miserable fate. But that smile is quickly erased by an enziguri from The People’s Champ! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans explode as Sandman timbers over to the canvas. COLE But there’s no one there for PRL to tag! Seizing on an opportunistic moment, Wright leaps onto the ring apron. “A hero has arrived!” he shouts to a downpour of boos. PRL stands up, gazes at a man proclaiming to be his savoir and…..GIVES HIM THE FINGER! WRIGHT “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Spurred on by the cheers of the Lightening Bolts, PRL hobbles forward and takes Sandman off his feet with a thunderous lariat! ThunderKid then enters the ring and meets with a similar fate. Although reluctantly, Alfdogg steps into the ring to challenge PRL. But he’s thrown over by a Rock style belly to belly suplex. No sooner than he hits the ground does Denzel take to the air with a cross body block! But he’s taken out the skies by a dropkick from PRL! COLE Where is he getting this strength from? COACH Bad booking. Coach’s spirits are lifted by quite a wide margin when TK accosts PRL with clubbing forearms. He quickly hooks him inside a front facelock and wastes no time in driving him downwards with the Thunderbolt DDT! PRL’s head is snapped against the ground and his body goes almost lifeless from the attack. On Sandman’s orders, TK attempts a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Baron Windells returns to break up the pinfall! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Suddenly PRL’s entire team, minus Christian Wright floods into the ring. A lariat from Tim Cash sends both he and Alfdogg tumbling out the ring! As soon as each man hits the ground they promptly spring to their feet and resume trading blows. This leaves them open to any sort of aerial attack. Its Denzel Spencer who comes through with the high flying theatrics as he wipes out both men with a no hands plancha! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans cheers die down considerably as Sandman and TK leap out the ring to begin raining down wild punches upon the fun loving Jamacian. COLE They’ve jumped their own teammate! As odd as that may have been its nowhere near as odd as Christian Wright cracking PRL across the skull with a steel chair! PRL topples over to the canvas, all the life ripped from his body. Wright towers over him, offering him a stern lecture on proper teamwork etiquette. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” DING DING DING HAHAHAAH PATTY FUCKED YA’LL OVER! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has ruled this match a no contest! The fans are irate and toss up loud and genuine hatred. The scene is one of utter chaos as a brawl has erupted on the outside between Cash, Alf, Spencer and the Deadly Alliance. In the ring Christian his commandeered a microphone, which only further outrages the audience. WRIGHT From this day forth, I defiantly vow... no man, woman nor beast shall commit thine self- BARON HITS THE BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL DDT~!!!~~!!!! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans sing their glee as Wright is finally silenced. COACH Uncalled for! Windells takes to the top rope where he basks in the outpouring of appreciative cheers from the sold out audience. He claps his hands in triumph and promises to the fans that he will bring home the Money In The Bank briefcase and then the world title. COMMERCIAL

We return to ringside with 2010 Anderson Cup champions Chicks Over Dicks already in the ring. "C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!" KRISTA Rio Rancho! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” KRISTA Welcome to the dog house! CROWD KRISTA Uh….I’m sorry…I uh….I don’t know where that came from. But I do know where Spencer Reiger came from. You see he spawned from the demonic, beast infested, hell hole that is his mother’s womb. That’s your cue to laugh, by the way. CROWD KRISTA My they learn fast these days. Spencer Reiger, we realize there are five members of the Moneygang but its you who’s worthy of an emasculating promo that puts you out the OAOAST and leaves you offering annomyous handjobs for donuts at seedy truck stations. Don’t ask me why you’d do it for donuts. You’re the dumb ass not me. “Sympathy for the Devil” cues up to numerous boos from the Rio Rancho faithful. Stepping out onto the arena floor, in a white suit, is Theodore Moneymaker. KRISTA I see God has decided he wants to ruin my life a little early. "MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS!" MONEYMAKER Krista, Alix greetings to you both. I won't waste anytime with preamble or my usual self important talk. I only came out here today because I wanted to apologize to you personally. ALIX Apologize? Dude, for what? MONEYMAKER For this…. Suddenly Alix is thrown to the ground by a beltshot to the back of the head from CMJ! “BOOOOOOOOOOO!”’ Krista sees her downed lover, and immediately charges at CMJ. A lariat brings him to the ground, and brightens the crowd’s sprits. But Krista can’t continue her torrid attack due to Spencer Reiger clobbering her from behind. “MONEYGANG SUCKS! MONEYGANG SUCKS! MONEYGANG SUCKS!” As CMJ barks at the crowd to be silent, and waves his belt to taunt them, Reiger grabs onto Krista’s hair and yanks her to her feet. Beyond the ring, Lorelei DeCenzo marches down the ramp, holding two dresses suited for a pair of grandmothers. As she slides into the ring Reiger hits the Reiger counter on Krista! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” the fans hiss as Krista goes lifeless from the deadly finisher. The audience is further enraged to see CMJ and Reiger take the dresses from Lorelei and dress them on the prone bodies of Chicks Over Dicks! Smiles are brought to the Moneygang’s face as Theodore Moneymaker stands at the top of the entrance stage bellowing with a mighty laughter. COLE Disgusting! What’s the meaning of this? Why put Alix in Krista in such..such..such plain dresses? COACH They’re the queens of fashion, always looking fine on the red carpet. Now they look plain Jane, and they certainly don’t look very tough or very good. Lorelei raises the hands the hands of the Moneygang as their smiles expand even wider. This outrages the sold out fanbase and the more incensed members of the fans bathe the ring in debris. Moneymaker, for his part, remains isolated on the entrance stage thoroughly enjoying the humliation that has been brought to Chicks Over Dicks. COMMERCIAL

We go backstage to the interview lounge where Josh Matthews waits with a very annoyed guest JOSH I’m here in the interview lounge with Crystal. Crystal, in just three days you’ll be set to face Morgan Nerdly for the OAOAST Women’s title. This could be your biggest challenge- CRYSTAL Hold on just a second! Do you know who you’re speaking to? I’m Crystal. Got that? JOSH I think so. CRYSTAL Crystal. Remember that. I’m still a former OAOAST world champion. Got that? JOSH Yes, ma’am. CRYSTAL I’m still a former 24/7 champion! I’m still an OAOAST legend! Do you not know that? Is that not something you can remember? JOSH I remember it very well! Don’t hurt me, please. CRYSTAL Shut up, you sniveling toad. Do you want to talk to me about challenges? Axel, Leon Rodez, Zack Malibu, that fat fool Hoff, I’ve fought them all! JOSH That’s very impressive. CRYSTAL It is impressive. Very impressive, I must say. And I crushed them all. I destroyed them all. When I slapped on the Crystaling they cried for mercy. Those were real challenges, Matthews. Is Morgan a challenge? I don’t think so. Morgan is a fluke. She’s a lucky little kid, but her luck has run out. She’s evaded everyone Josie has put in front of her. But I’m an obstacle that she just can’t ever get past. When Sunday rolls around I’m going to get that Women’s Title from her, I’m going to give Josie some peace of mind, and I’m also going to retire with that title. And not only that, Matthews. I’ll retire as the greatest female performer this company has ever seen. From out of nowhere… MORGAN NERDLY stands in front of Crystal. CRYSTAL Can I help you with something? Morgan shakes, a sure sign of her nervousness and timidity MORGAN Um, no. I..I…I..well, maybe I should go. JOSH Go ahead, Morgan. CRYSTAL Yeah, go ahead, Morgan. Say it. MORGAN (mumbling) Umm….well, Sorry this is Kind of hard. I didn’t…I didn’t survive six trips to a mental hospital for you…to…um…for me to become another statstic on your hall of fame plaque! And um….that’s great that you can list all those people you beat, but…you’ve never beat me. And…and…and….you never will. CRYSTAL What? MORGAN (mumbling) You never will. CRYSTAL What? MORGAN You never will! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans cheer as Morgan nervously scurries away, mumbling to herself. CRYSTAL We’ll see. Yes, we’ll see.

Don't defend these people!

This is the final show before AM soooooo if you wanna do a good build, this is your last chance! Your very last chance! Build or be remembered in infamy for an eternity.

"Where are the people" by Patty O'Green Where are the people The people that loved Where are the people The people that laughed Where are the people The people that lived Where are the people The people that wrote

OAOAST Syndicated! With SIDEKICK MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD AND HOST ALIX MARIA SPEZIA Brought to you by American Express ***Detective Bosley W/CPA Vs Tim Cash*** Bosley cut a promo claiming he’s all about money, bitches, and respect and therefore he’s the perfect candidate to win Money In The Bank. Timmy countered that Bosley was about lying, cheating, and never getting laid. This provoked Bosley who charged at Cash. The former EMT countered his old partner and the two traded strikes for several minutes. Bosley got an upperhand after dumping Cash to the outside. But once back in the ring, Cash’s superior technical skills won out. Bosley was able to regain control of the hotly contested bout after a low blow. He pounded on his one time friend for an extended length of time, taunting him with cruel words. The Justified Homicide (unprettier) was almost completed but Cash reversed it into a backslide. From there the two men raced towards the finish with near falls. But it was Cash gaining a submission win over Bosley to enter the MITB match. Cuz its 187 on a motherfucking cop Winner: Cash, via submission Post match did treat Cash so well as he was jumped and beaten down by Deadly Alliance members ThunderKid and Sandman. Baron Windells ran out to make the save, but the damage had been done. Back in Los Angeles Alix and Maya caught up with Christian Wright. In protest for having to interview her old rival, Alix turned her back on The God Child. Literally. Then she released swivel chairs are very fun and proceeded to swivel the entire interview. This left Maya to interview CW. The Enterprise member lauded the accomplishments of CMJ, causing Alix to snort in disgust at the mention of her US Title lost. Then she realized the swivel chair was still fun and started wheeing again. Wright promised that he’d capture the MITB briefcase and use it that very night regardless of who won the world title match. Maya touched on his unbeaten streak, wondering how anyone could remain unbeaten for the rest of their career. Insulted at such a question, Wright stood up and walked out the interview. Left to fill thirty seconds, Alix had to stop spinning and start talking. But dizzied, she dropped behind her desk and threw up! ***Orange County Cobras and Molly Nerdly Vs Can-Am Assassins and Lindsay Gonzalez*** You knew it’d be a bad night for the CAA when Lindsay began chewing them out before the match even began. This allowed Molly and crew to get a jump on their opponents. The CAA weathered the early and long storm brought on by the OCC’s. They were rewarded with the ability to isolate Simon Singleton in their corner. Singleton braved the ferocious attack brought on by his foes to make a hot tag with Blanchard. The three warriors collided in the ring for a furious brawl. But victory found its way to the OCC’s as Molly Nerdly hit the Final Cut Pro (final cut) for the finish. Winner: Orange County Cobras, via pinfall. Post match Lindsay continued to berate the CAA's for their performance. Bitches gettin in that work! Back in Los Angeles, Alix and Maya interviewed Mo’Nique! The three girls talked Oscars and fashion for the majority of the interview. Alix complained to the Golden Globe winner about the producer’s insistence she wear a hat for the show. “Why shouldn I wear a hat? Like, is my hair so bad? Look it makes my head look huge. Huge! Raise the hat? Dude, that doesn’t help! I look like the bride of Frankenstein. Why do ya gotta see my eyes! What’s so friggin great about my eyeballs? The window to the soul? My soul is full of hatered, despair and loathing for my fellow humans. You don't wanna see through that window. Lower the shades, put down the blinds. Audience what do ya think? Do you totally love this hat? You like this hat? Really? Then fuck you. Kidding! Lots of Love!” ***Charlie Moss Vs Logan "Macho Macho" Mann W/Synth, Holly, Colonel Abdullah & Quiz*** Against all odds, Charlie Moss defeated Logan Mann after counting a Percussion DDT into a northern lights suplex. Moss was ambushed following the match by Synth and Colonel Abdullah, but he made quick work of them. The outcome was different when Moss ran into Heavenly Rockers head of security Quiz. Not even a superkick flush to the jaw could bring the big guy down. One big boot later and Moss was flat on his back with the Heavenly Rockers posing over him.

I can't guarantee an 8 man but I can guarantee you a Mister Dick promo!

I didn't even think of that! I sonned my own self :( don't think ill of me that I'm feedbacking on a Saturday night instead of humping fly bitches and ethering these broke ass bamas with my fresh and funky style Good, short, and sweet promo from Reject. I liked the deadbeat Dave as Malaysia costume. That was funny! KC has perfected the art of writing the Scottish accent. That's why I never wrote LKOS speaking, too hard to figure out how to write the accent. Let's see how they and Black get along at AM. After all scotts and brits don't get along. At least they aren't Irish!!!!!! Another short and sweet promo, this time done by 149. The Sin City street fight should be a hell of a match, it could steal the show. How many SCSF have we had on AM? Two, I believe. But it could be three. Daaaaaaaamn MGHFC took an ass kicking! They haven't been sonned that hard since their last match with COD. Entertaining brawl. I loved the use of the spike club. Imagine getting hit with a spiked club. Just imagine it. Painful! Much love to 149 for writing the AM shill center, and at the GGM segment. Forget TV-14 that's TV-MA!

Nice little show. Alf, I left space for your segment.

Probably Tim Cash Vs Bosley in a MITB qualifier if other people write something this week. Only if! I make no promises to you people. None whatsoever! None!

I ***may*** do an 8 man tag with the MITB praticipants if its okay with dudes, but that seems like a lot of work. Quite alot. So maybe I won't. Plus I only know who 7 of the 8 ppl in the match are! AHHHHHHHHHHH!

We return from break as “Shipping Up To Boston” hits to unusual fanfare. The Boston audience rises to their feet and welcomes out hometown boy CMJ, clad in green biker shorts and black boots. The enthusiasm is tempered somewhat when Theodore Moneymaker, pinstriped and haughty, stands proudly by his side. Colin makes no apologies for his choice in associates and gladly receives a firm pat on the back from his leader. BUFFER The following is a United States Championship match scheduled for one fall with a time limit of twenty minutes. Now making his way to the ring accompanied by Theodore Moneymaker…. “BOOOOOOOOOO!” BUFFER He is one half of the 2010 Young Lions of the year, he weighs in at 210 pounds and hails from right here in Beantown, he is a Harvard Graduate…COLIN MAGUIRE JUNIOR! The fans put forth another strong ovation for CMJ, who again lessens their love for him by chastising them for their booing of his boss. The CEO of The Enterprise chuckles over the rebuke CMJ gives his own fans as he marches over to Sofa Central. Meanwhile in the ring, Colin shadowboxes in preparation of his difficult contest ahead. COACH Welcome, Mister Moneymaker! Thank you, thank you, thank you for being here tonight. MONEYMAKER Anytime, Mister Coachman. Anytime. Whenever I can get out here and fight the good fight against the socialist propaganda machine of the OAOAST I take it as a pleasure and a duty. She's nothing like a girl you've ever seen before Nothing you can compare to your neighbourhood hoe I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful The way that booty movin I can't take no more Have to stop what i'm doin so I can pull up close I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful Dam girl Dam you'se a sexy bitch A sexy bitch Dam you'se a sexy bitch Dam girl Neon Lit ,gaudy, and full of drunken patrons, the sparkling countertops of Alix’s bar slide onto the entrance stage. Attired in drop dead gorgeous white booty shorts, and matching halter top, with a silver faux fur boa, Alix cuts an eye catching figure even amongst the fanciful illumination of her bar. The darling diva provides a feast for the eyes and the loins with a sexy Beyonce style dance atop the counter part. With the fans already drooling at her fur boots, she leaps onto the stage and blows a kiss to cause super imposed red lips to pop up on screen. BUFFER And the champion…..from Los Angeles, California, she is THE HOLLYWOOD BAD GIRL, and One Half of the 2010 Anderson Cup champions, she is ALIX MARIA SPEZIAAAAAAAAA! The audience meets Alix with a warm cheer as she merrily skips down the entrance ramp with a loving smile filling her face. The champion quickly scampers up the ring steps to head to the top rope where she holds her title up and sings the national anthem because she is the UNITED STATES champion after all. DING DING DING Collin attempts to get an early jump on Alix with a right hand. But the bubbly brunette drops her opponent with a leg sweep before the attack can even connect. CMJ quickly rolls upright, but is caught under fire by a wave of knife-edge chops from the champion. Colin attempts to fight back with a right hand, but Alix catches onto his arm and throws him into the far corner. ALIX Boobie bombs away! Alix runs forward and proceeds to thwack Collin with her bra busting breasts, bouncing them across his face as though they were twin pistons. Once done with using her massive funbags to pummel Collin, she leans through the ropes and cups them with a sly wink to the sold out audience. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COACH Oh baby, I knew there was a reason I sit through COD matches. Alix turns serious and runs forward to give Collin a facecrusher that plants him on the canvas. As his hometown crowd witnesses his misfortune, Collin quickly tries to put on a good show and scampers to his feet. Unfortunately worse comes to worse as he’s thrown over to the canvas with a side headlock takedown by the US Champion. Alix wrenches on his head, causing him a great amount of anguish and forcing him to scramble for a way out. Forced to resort to cheap tactics he reaches onto her white booty shorts, and pulls them out. He then lets go causing them to snap against her backside! ALIX YEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! CMJ Things become suddenly less funny for Collin when Alix grabs hold of the front of his tights and performs the same trick! CMJ OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! ALIX Dude, I’m sorry, how about I kiss it and make it better. CMJ (smiling) You got it. Alix gets on her knees and….HEADBUTTS COLLIN IN THE GROIN! CMJ shrieks in agony and annoyance over being humiliated in front of his own people. Putting aside his pain for the moment, he swings his arm around for a lariat. But Alix catches onto his arm and proceeds to dosey-doe with the challenger! CMJ Let go of me! ALIX Okie dokie! Alix does that and a dizzied CMJ falls to the canvas on the verge of hurling. The Princess of Los Angeles takes this moment to pin the challenger…. ONE! CMJ steadies himself just enough to kickout the pinfall. He rolls to his feet, but is caught inside another headlock from the California cutie. Alix isn’t able to take him down this time however, as Collin is able to shove her into the corner. Referee Clem Buzlefoxer causes for a clean break. However he doesn’t get this as CMJ blasts Alix in her bare stomach with a brutal knee strike. This leads to a series of punches that weaken Alix and put CMJ in firm control of the bout. He lashes into her with knife-edge chops that sends her ample chest a bouncing. COACH Loveitloveitloveitloveit! MONEYMAKER The trickster that is Satan often cloaks his demonic message within beguiling temptress. Don’t be fooled! Less delightful to Alix and the audience is CMJ choking the US champion on the ring ropes. Even his hometown audience can’t quite abide by CMJ’s cruel tactics. The elderly referee attempts to yank him away his victim. However, he receives an earful of profanity for his troubles. But this serves Alix well, as the reprieve from the violence allows her to fight back with kicks from her furry boots aimed at CMJ’s chest. A particularly nasty dropsault then sends the Bostonian tumbling over the top rope and falling to the outside. “OOOOOOOOOOOH!” CMJ is quick to his feet, but looks rather unnervered about being unceremoniously dumped from the ring. He curses at near by fans who try to offer him encouragement, doing little to win over his hometown audience. Because of this Alix gets a solid cheer as she baseball slides the challenger into the guardrail. She gains an even bigger cheer when she lets a mighty fine female fan slap her fine Latina ass. COLE Colin is slowly but surely starting to turn his own fanbase against him. MONEYMAKER Fools, jealous they didn’t have the mental strength and physical acumen to make it to his lofty perch. Let’s not mince words, Cole. Booty spanking out the way, Alix dumps her foe back into the ring. Colin gets to his feet and makes a hasty retreat to the corner, only to be hounded by Alix who climbs up to the second rope. She flashes the peace sign to the sold out audience before not so peacefully plugging CMJ with a series of hard fists. COLE Collin is getting rocked! MONEYMAKER Only for a little while. Lull the simple minded tart into a false sense of confidence. I like that strategy, Collin! Alix then back flips off the second rope, and busts out a funky little shimmy. She then charges forward and strikes CMJ in the jaw with a raised knee. ALIX (impersonating Snoop Dogg) What’s the motherfuckin name? Bulldoggie doooooog, RUFF! Alix does just that, bulldogging the Harvard grad to the canvas. A pinfall quickly follows…. ONE! TWO! CMJ finds the will and the way to kickout. Alix brings him to his feet and whips him into the ropes. She lowers her head, expecting a leap frog. However, Collin skids to a halt and winds up with a thundering kick aimed at her chest. ALIX Wait! If you entertain thoughts of raping goats kick me in the chest. CMJ (muttering to himself) Damn it. Not wanting to be branded a goat rapist, Collin forgoes the kick and instead returns to the ropes. But as he returns the Hollywood Bad Girl leaps into the air and wraps her perfect legs around his neck for a hurricanrana. As a pinfall is made, Alix sensually grinds herself into the Harvard alum’s face and blows a bewitching kiss to the audience… “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” ONE! TWO! CMJ kicksout, and he is mighty irate with his hometown fans. He stomps to the edge of the ring and leans over the ropes to give them a violent earful… CMJ What are ya cheering her for? You bastahds, you’re supposed to be on my side! COLE Collin is causing his hometown advantage to go bye-bye every time he opens his mouth. Alix captures Collin from behind with a headlock, and rushes forward for a bulldog attempt. But Collin shoves her off and she crotches herself onto the cold ringposts. CMJ Now cheer that! “BOOOOOOOOO!” the audience seethes, clearly disliking CMJ’s demeanor. MONEYMAKER What a shame. A once great city, responsible for the Boston Tea Party that birthed the tea party movement that shows our cruel democratic overlords that we won’t play by their shameful liberal rules, boos this great American hero. Collin runs forward and blasts Alix in the back with a running lariat. This causes the champion to scream out in pain, which affixes a smile onto CMJ’s face. He then grabs onto her thick chocolate colored hair and slams her backwards to the canvas. Mocking, Krista’s ordeal with a haircut motion he further angers his own fanbase. “LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX!” CMJ plants his black boots into Alix’s stomach, daring her to make a funny quip or a vexing taunt. Cutting short his stomping, Collin grabs Alix by the seat of her booty shorts and rips her off the canvas. He nails her with an Irish Uppercut (European uppercut) before throwing her backwards with the Harvardplex (T-Bone Suplex)! But the feisty champion lands on her furry boots! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” She makes a furious charge at Colin and overwhelms him with a spinning wheel kick! While CMJ struggles with the pain that’s captured his jaw, Ally makes a quick dash to the ropes. She leaps onto the third cable and spring boards back with a moonsault press. But a now standing CMJ manages to capture her onto his shoulders! Without wasting any moments, he piledrives her into the canvas. CMJ You gonna cheer me or what? ”BOOOOOOOOOO!” comes the reply from the Boston faithful. CMJ brushes his fellow New Englanders aside and attempts a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Alix makes a timely kickout. Although I suppose any kickout is timely. Anyway, Colin pulls Alix to her feet and throws her into a corner. He spits in her direction before taking off with a running shoulder tackle. Thankfully for the COD fans, the US champion slides herself out the way, and CMJ crashes shoulder first into the rock solid metal. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” He yanks his shoulder away from the ring posts, and curses his ill luck and the fans who cheer his misfortune. Alix, for her part, he leaps onto the third rope and comes Straight Outta Compton with a springboard spear! A pinfall quickly follows…. ONE! TWO! CMJ makes the kickout! COACH Dang, Colin’s gotta get things together. He was taking control of the contest and now he’s letting it all go Alix’s way. Alix takes off to the ropes, as CMJ struggles upright. When she returns she leaps onto his shoulders in hopes of hitting another hurricanrana. But CMJ shifts this attacks into a kneeling powerbomb that draws impressed gasps from the audience. CMJ Now you wanna cheer me? “BOOOOOOOOOOOO!” comes another heartfelt reply as Buzzlefoxer counts the pinfall… ONE! TWO! THR-ALIX KICKSOUT! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” Deeply bothered by Alix’s kickout, CMJ drags him whimpering opponent off the canvas and tags her with a series of Irish Uppercuts. The tag team champion then grabs her into an underhook and sends her flying backwards with an underhook suplex. Alix crashes into the canvas with a hard thud and immediately cries out in distress. This puts a smile onto the Harvard grad’s face as he runs forward to strike her in the back with a powerful kick. He then falls on top of her for another pin… ONE! TWO! Alix forces her way out the pinfall, earning an appreciative cheer from the audience. Less pleased is CMJ who rips her off the canvas, but loses the brief battle as Alix small packages him! Buzzlefoxer counts the surprising pinfall… ONE! TWO! CMJ quickly scurries out the pinfall. He reasserts his dominance in the contest by driving a knee into Alix’s skull! COLE A vicious attack by CMJ, sending a message for what may be to come at Anglemania live from Las Vegas only on pay per view. MONEYMAKER The Moneygang is the toughest opponent Alix and Krista have ever faced. Tougher than myself and Christian Wright? Most assuredly. Colin grabs Alix by her skimpy halter top and throws her into the corner. He rushes forward and connects with a lariat that staggers her away from the ring posts and towards the center of the ring. “Whoo!” he shouts to the less than excited audience as he climbs onto the second rope. He then flies forward with arms raised into an axe handle smash. But Alix stuns him and the audience, by connecting with a beautiful dropkick that nails CMJ in the chin! COACH Where the hell did that come from? MONEYMAKER It came from hell. The same place COD and their militiant nazi dyke agenda supporters will be going if they don’t wake up and small the coffee that says queerin don’t make the world work and it don’t make Jesus a happy camper. Clutching his sore chin, CMJ is first to his feet. He’s highly angered with Ally’s counter as he makes a quick stride towards her. But Alix counters by bringing him down with a drop toe hold. A La Magistral Cradle wraps CMJ up into an all important pinfall… ONE! TWO! CMJ unravels the pinfall and manages a quick escape from the jaws of defeat. He rolls upright only to find Alix coming after him with a charging shoulder. Thus he reacts quickly and sidesteps her. This causes the cute champion to take a miserable crash into the corner posts. CMJ gives her little time to recover from the pain as he school boys her into a pinfall… ONE! TWO! THRE-ALIX KICKSOUT! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Frustrated beyond all belief, CMJ disregards any respect for the rules and begins dismantling the turnbuckle cover. The referee attempts to dissuade him from this tactic, but the Harvard grad is manic and cannot be stopped by mere words alone. COLE Wait a second… Beyond all this, Spencer Reiger has snuck into the ring. He roughly drags Alix to her feet, and stuffs her between his legs. He then mocks the audience with the infamous money fingers gesture before striking her down with the Reiger Counter (pedigree)! As the audience derides him for his actions, Reiger dares them to challenge him as he escapes through the stands. COLE No! No! MONEYMAKER Yes! Yes! With the damage done, Collin abandons his effort to rid the posts of its covers and rushes over to pin Alix. Although confused by Alix’s sudden bout of ill health the referee counts the pinfall…. ONE! TWO! COLE No! No! THREE! COLE I don’t believe it! DING DING DING MONEYMAKER Believe in it! Believe in America, Cole! Believe in a country where an honest, well bred, Harvard educated man can beat the daughter of an illegal immigrant drug dealer and a gold digging whore! This is America! This is The Enterprise! This is great! BUFFER Your winner and NEW UNITED STATES CHAMPION....COLIN MAGUIRE JUNIOOORRRRRRRRRR! Despite his horrid antics, Colin’s victory earns him a mixed reaction from his hometown audience. He reacts as though the Red Sox just won the series, spinning around with his belt and dropping to his knees to offer it a heartfelt kiss. MONEYMAKER This is the story of the year, America! Good night and god bless! FADE OUT

-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- PREVIOUSLY ON HELDDOWN~! Unable to hold back any longer MR. DICK storms the ring. He decks TK and chases after Reject, only for SANDMAN9000 to take him down. Reject then goes to grab a STEEL CHAIR as TK and Sandman put the boots to MD. COLE We’re running low on time, ladies and gentlemen. And we have a brutal assault taking place in the ring. BW struggles to his feet and gets jabbed in the gut by the chair, then walloped across the back. Reject’s sights next turn to Mr. Dick whose arms are restrain by Sandman and legs spread by TK. COACH This takes busting somebody’s balls to a whole new level, Cole. Reject cocks the chair. COLE And we’re out of time! MR. DICK FADE TO BLACK. COLE OH, MY! AND NOW, THE EXCITING CONCLUSION Malaysia rips the CHAIR away from Reject and CLOBBERS Sandman and TK! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Now outside, the title draped over his shoulder, Reject and Mr. Dick stare each other down with a large AngleMania IX sign in the background. Its a party at Sofa Central with DA GOON SQUAD Michael Cole and Da Coach. The entire area is decorated with Anglemania items such as banners, mini stand ups, and programs and flyers. Even Sofa Central rolls Anglemania style in Anglemania football jerseys. COLE Folks! Welcome to Boston for another action packed edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~! We are darting down the road to Anglemania, but Alix Maria Spezia may hit a roadblock on the way over... TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT UNITED STATES TITLE ALIX MARIA SPEZIA VS COLIN MAGUIRE JUNIOR TONIGHT! COLE A huge mainevent, plus we have The Last Kings of Scotland taking on their former allies in the Mardi Gras Hellfire Club! And we'll also hear from The Heavenly Rockers here tonight on HeldDOWN~! (DA SEGMENT, which I hope to god is in the ring otherwise I'm gonna look stupid.) Fear not Patty, for the Deadly Alliance is in fact making their way to the ring to the tunes of The Wall by Kansas. Reject, Thunderkid, Sandman9000 and Arturas are flanked by a "woman" dressed as a dominatrix who looks suspiciously like Deadbeat Dave. Reject and Sandman are wearing Yankee pinstripes, and TK has on a LeBron James jersey. The DA enters the ring, and the "woman" begins to lightly strike Sandman with a cat-o-nine-tails whip, and gets drilled in the mouth with a forearms for "her" efforts. TK and Sandman do a number on the "woman" as Reject grabs a mic, then toss "her" out of the ring. REJECT Boy, that was a tough spot to fill, wasn't it? *crowd boos* REJECT 10 more days, Jock. The last 10 days of you wrestling career. And yes, you and your newfound friends have got a couple over on us recently, including earlier in the week on Syndicated. *crowd cheers* COLE Reject referring to a six-man tag, where Mr. Dick and the Citizen Soldiers attained victory over Reject, Thunderkid, and Sandman9000! REJECT But just like at AngleMania IX, Jock, guess who got the last laugh. *a clip is shown of Reject delivering the Eulogy to Melody Nerdly post-match, then cut to the CS checking on her while MD stares down Reject in the aisle, who is laughing.* *crowd boos* REJECT And at AngleMania, Jock, you won't have all your friends to bail you out. It's gonna be just you and me. And you know Melody respects me after Syndicated. And that's... Reject has to pause for the boos of the crowd. COLE That's awful. REJECT And that's exactly what I'm going to teach you at AngleMania IX, Jock! You WILL learn to respect me. Reject drops the mic as the DA leaves the ring to The Wall. COLE Quick and to the point, as the Deadly Alliance delivered a message on Syndicated, and re-iterated that message here tonight! Reject wants to beat some respect out of Mr. Dick, in addition to retaining his title!

ANGLEMANIA IX SHILL PRESENTED BY LITTLE CAESARS PIZZA BRANNIGAN Next Sunday, March 28 live exclusively on pay-per-view Little Caesars Pizza presents AngleMania IX. They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but that won't be the case when the OAOAST broadcasts AngleMania IX LIVE across the country and around the world from Caesars Palace in Las Vegas, Nevada. We'd like to thank the fine folks at Little Caesars Pizza for sponsering this year's big event, and if you haven't already done so, get on the phone and contact your local cable or satellite provider to order right now. Eight wasn't enough and here's why. OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE Reject © vs. Mr. Dick BRANNIGAN In your main event, Deadly Alliance leader and current World Heavyweight Champion Reject defends his title against former DA member Mr. Dick. It was at the Nerdly Spectacular when Mr. Dick refused to back out of the contract signing for this match that led to his ouster. You can bet payback will be on his mind come AngleMania. And nothing will hurt Reject more than losing the World Heavyweight Championship. ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE LDC Moneygang © vs. Chicks Over Dicks BRANNIGAN For the One & Only World tag team championship, 2010 Anderson Cup winners and 4-time tag champions COD meet Theodore Moneymaker's LDC Moneygang. After what occurred on this very program one week ago I wouldn't want to be CMJ and Spencer Reiger at AngleMania. Pride and history will be on the line as COD look to capture their OAOAST record 5th tag team championship. OAOAST WOMEN'S TITLE Morgan Nerdly © vs. Crystal BRANNIGAN In the third and final title match signed for AngleMania, the always unpredictable Morgan Nerdly faces her biggest challenge to date, the first women to ever hold the OAOAST Championship, Crystal. SIN CITY STREET FIGHT The Heavenly Rockers vs. Team Heyross BRANNIGAN The challenge was issued earlier tonight and it has been accepted. Team Heyross will face the Heavenly Rockers in a Sin City Steet Fight, a match the only rock 'n' wrestling band of all-time has never lost. Not only will Quentin Benjamin be making his comeback after nearly losing his eye thanks to a fireball courtesy of Colonel Abdullah Nerdly, but the match will occur on the Heavenly Rockers backyard. BRANNIGAN With a future World title shot at stake, 8-men will compete in the annual Money in the Bank ladder match. EIGHT MAN MONEY IN THE BANK MATCH ***Christian Wright Vs Sandman Vs Denzel Spencer Vs PRL Vs ??? Vs ??? and recently qualifying at non televised events Thunder Kid and Baron Windells*** BRANNIGAN In addition to all that... Biff Atlas vs. Vinny Valentine Vinny Valentine appears on screen sitting this lounge... VINNY Super hero? Super stupid. Super idiot. Super moron. Super fool. Super imbecible. But super hero? I don't think so! Daddy, you better believe that Vinny Valentine is coming into Anglemania with one mission on his mind and that's proving Biff to be a super zero! BRANNIGAN And recently added. SIX MAN TITLES Cucaracha Kingdom Vs Last Kings Of Scotland and Nathaniel Black BRANNIGAN All that plus surprise guests. It's gonna be the world's largest orgy of fun. Little Caesars Pizza presents AngleMania IX Sunday night, March 28 live exclusively on pay-per-view from Caesars Palace in Las Vegas, Nevada. AngleMania only happens once a year so don't miss out on the spectacle everyone will be talking about at the water cooler the morning after. So call your local cable or satellite provider right now and tell them you want AngleMania IX~! ANGLEMANIA IX LIVE! SUNDAY NIGHT, MARCH 28 ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW Backstage, members of the Ghetto Groove Monkeys, Vinny Valentine, Deadbeat Dave, Tony Tourettes, Quincy and Mariano are shooting the shit. MARIANO Can you believe it, man? Ten days, we goin' to Vegas! VINNY You know it! I got my guys out there already hookin' us up! QUINCY Yo what you gonna do man, ride yo' bike out there? DAVE Hell no, you better make me some room for the ride! MARIANO You betta wash yo' stanky ass fo' you ride with us, foo. TONY Yeah, you smell like STIR-FRIED DOG SHIT! QUINCY You smell bad, yo. Just then, Waldo and Luther come in carrying a large cooler. WALDO Who's thirsty? VINNY Yeah! Now we're talkin'! Luther hands Mariano a beer. MARIANO Man, this beer's green! Fuck is wrong wit' you, nigga? LUTHER Stupid ass, it's leftover special from St. Patty Day! MARIANO Aw, right on. WALDO We got some Guinness, too, son! VINNY And I got some more "green" coming in a few minutes! LUTHER My man, V-squared! Gimme some! Vinny bumps knuckles with Luther. TONY Hey, this beer matches Dave's athlete's foot fungus! The room bursts in laughter upon Tony's jab at Dave, then Tony turns his attention to Waldo, who is wearing a Jets jersey. TONY Hey, you're like the JOLLY GREEN GAYWAD! More laughter ensues as a food tray is brought in, featuring corned beef and cabbage, potatoes and other Irish-themed food. WAITER You guys want any? Tony grabs a cabbage and careens it off of the head of the waiter, then takes the whole tray. WALDO Yo man, gimme some of that krout, I gotta drown out Dave's stank. Dave grabs a raw potato off the tray, and bites into it as if it were an apple. LUTHER Euuuuuuuuhhhh, nigga, you ate up! Vinny holds up large quantities of pot, showing them to the group. VINNY This ought to drown it out! MARIANO What you waitin' on, get to wrappin! TONY Hey Vinny...did you know that if your palm is bigger than your face, you have cancer? Vinny, of course, stupidly holds his hand up, and Tony slaps it into his face, to the amusement of the BB's. WALDO Nigga, I swear you was born out yo mama's asshole 'cause her pussy was too busy! TONY HAHAHAHA...(tosses bowl of kraut into Waldo's face) Everyone laughs hysterically as Quincy lifts a comically-sized blunt up with his clippers and begins to smoke, then continues to laugh as the camera cuts away. COLE TV-14, indeed! COMING UP NEXT THE MAINEVENT UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP ALIX MARIA SPEZIA VS COLIN MAGUIRE JUNIOR NEXT! COMMERCIAL

We're backstage in the interview lounge, which I'm sure you know how it looks by now. Several superstars including Jade-Rodez Duncan sit at the bar counter. Joining Terry Taylor at the forefront are America's Sweethearts, Chicks Over Dicks! TERRY Its Terry Taylor, a dazzling interviewer with legendary rumbosity! A man who is bound to lay more hips in your dip, more glide in your stride, if you don’t dig my mess you got the wrong address- ALIX Terry, dude, your fly is undone. KRISTA And you forgot to wear underwear. Damn it Terry, god did not give you life so you could expose your shriveled up turkey parts to unsuspecting bystanders. Maybe your skin really should be made into coats to keep those of us with a reason to live warm in the winter. JADE Mom, that’s mean. KRISTA I’m sorry…well, no I’m not sorry, I’m struggling not to fall out laughing at that hilarious joke, for I am….the atomic comic, see I can make stupid rhymes to, Krista Isadora Duncan. Watch here’s another one! I am the shock-jock without a cock, the prick with no dick, the fresh and funkin’ Krista Isadora Duncan’. Jazz hands, everybody! ALIX Don’t mind Krissy-wyssy, she’s just insulting you faster than her 4.5 insults per minute usual pace because she’s still a little peeved over the haircut from last weekie. TERRY Even more peeved than when you lubed the strap on with Anti Freeze? ALIX Hey, no fair! It was eco friendly, and made a tasty snack for Jade’s cat. RIP Mr.Muggles. KRISTA Terry, remember the time when I had that awful bout of that disease you call “kindness” and I took you out for your birthday and ended up leaving you naked in the trunk of your Prius, stranded on some train tracks in Malibu? Imagine for a moment if I hadn’t again got a terrible case of “decency” and retrieved you. Imagine your Prius collided with the 2:15 to Burbank. And imagine as your naked, unusually hairy in all the weirdest places body, rolled across the gravel, a bus full of nuns, driven by your dear mother passed by. Imagine how pissed you’d be. ALIX And then multiply it by INFINITY! Because these girls right here, we be some mad ass negros, b! And Krista’s two little girls were super scared for mommy. Right Jade? We cut to Jade now scarfing down nachos at the bar. JADE MFFMFFWHAT? MMMFFFFFFRIGHTMFFFFFFSUREMFFFF! KRISTA Terry, there’s only five things in my life I care about. TERRY KRISTA My daughters, Alix, my hair, my ass, and my boobs. TERRY KRISTA Terry, the Moneygang is a nipple clamp and a BUTT plug away from finding me kicking their yellowed teeth down their throat out their ass, and then chaining them together to make a delightful necklace to present my grandmother at her 98th birthday at the West Hollywood Jewish community center, present company invited. TERRY Thank you, I appreciate your kindness. KRISTA Damn it! I did it again! I was nice to somebody! Jade, you gotta warn me before I do something like that! JADE Sorry! Its hard to predict your needless and unwanted acts of kindness. KRISTA Look, Anglemania is only two weeks away, and the Moneygang is walking on such thin ice and anorexic, i.e. Alix, could crack it. Speaking of cracking, we’re looking forward to cracking their skulls, and kicking their ass the moment they step into Anglemania. ALIX Terry, I’m even madder than her! Because there’s like only really four things I care about. Krista’s boobs, her ass, and I forgot the two other things, I think they have something to do with Eleanor Roosevelt and the Ugandan constitution, I dunno. Spencey, and Collin, Krista dropped the FYI on what’s gonna come to you at Anglemania. But let MC Alix spit some dope rhymes for ya’ll chump ass white boys. You guys think you can do whatever ya want to people? Sure it’d be fun to pants Jay Leno and ride him like an Iranian mule! But you can’t! You can’t pants Jay Leno, and I have the restraining order and community service to prove it! And you can’t do whatever you want to people! You can’t kick over their bakesale tables, and you can’t cut their hair, and you can’t burn down their homes and their families and scar them for life forcing them to wear a mask and a red suit after several bad gimmicks such as an evil dentist and a fake Kevin Nash. You can’t! And I’m totally gonna give you guys your punishment by shoving my Jimmy Choo boot down Collin’s throat and giving him a fashion taste. That was just darn clever, wasn’t it! KRISTA Yeah keep it moving, Garrison Keillor, this interview lounge is booked for Milford Cunningham’s retirement party in about three minutes. JADE A retirement party? TERRY Gotta pay the rent on this place somehow!

"Right Round" by Flo Rida cues and out head The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club, without their Queen but ready to fight. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall, to be fought under Relaxed Rules. Introducing first, respreseenting the CUCARACHA KINGDOM... total combi... Buffer suddenly trails off as he, as well as everyone else, spot THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND running down the aisle behind Rico and Lucius. Or, everyone except Rico and Lucius themselves, who don't notice until they're clattered from behind by the vengeful Scots! COLE The Last Kings couldn't wait any longer! And this one is underway in the aisleway! COACH What a cheapshot! *DINGDINGDING* The bell sounds to start the match since, hey, it's relaxed rules. Nothing wrong with a brawl on the ramp. Nothing wrong either with Lucius getting thrown into the guardrail by Danny Boy, while Scottish Scott breaks out the spiked club and chokes Rico with the handle of it. Danny Boy gives Lucius a headbutt sending him staggering down the ramp, while Rico gasps for air. COACH Is it any wonder Queen Esther cast these two off? Look at them! They're savages! Lucius reaches the ring and is grabbed by Danny Boy, his head bounced off the apron. As Lucius stumbles away Danny Boy quickly goes under the ring. And producing a chair, he jams it into Lucius's stomach! COLE We are seeing an all out brawl here. Nothing more than a fight. And the referee is allowed to let this one go as far as he wants tonight. Now it's Lucius being choked, up against the barricade with the edge of the chair, while Rico is brought to the ring by Scottish Scott. Scott throws him inside and hurls the spiked club in after him. However, the club falls too close to Rico and as Scott steps through the ropes, Rico catches him with the point of the club into the midsection. And again. Dragging Scott out from between the ropes, Rico quickly hits a DDT and tries to get the match over quickly... 1... 2... No! Grabbing the club, Rico gives Scott a taste of his own medicine by pressing it into the Scotsman's throat. COACH Yeah! These guys aren't so tough when they're not jumping people from behind, are they Michael? COLE You mean Rico and Lucius? COACH No, the Scots! When did Rico and Lucius jump anyone from behind!? COLE Two weeks ago, during the coronation ceremony! COACH Oh. That was different. As Rico stomps away on Scottish Scott, Danny Boy enters the ring and clubs Rico in the back. Danny Boy throws Rico into the turnbuckles and stomps away in the corner. Meanwhile, Lucius rolls back in, sneaking up on The Braveheart. Danny Boy catches Lucius out of the corner of his eye though. Cutting him off with a boot, Danny then grabs Lucius and flings him into Rico, causing him to spear his own partner! "YYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Rico and Lucius try to help each other up, leaving them both in a bad predicament. Across the ring, Danny Boy whips Scottish Scott in and the big Scot crushes BOTH of them with an Avalanche!! COLE Scottish Scott could have smashed through Hadrian's Wall going at that speed! Throwing Rico outside, Scott starts clubbing away at Lucius who is on his knees and clearly winded. Danny Boy follows Rico out and continues the fight on the floor. In the ring, Scott whips Lucius into the ropes. Putting his head down for a backdrop, he gets caught with a kick to the shoulder blade. But as Lucius turns and hits the ropes again Scott recovers and delivers a Powerslam. COLE Big Powerslam from Scottish Scott! But no cover, the Scots want to dish out some more punishment instead. Right on cue Danny Boy procures two more steel chairs. He throws one inside to Scott and keeps one for himself. "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COACH Listen to these people... these bloodthirsty people. They're as bad as The Last Kings are! As Scottish Scott sets his chair up in the corner, Danny Boy rears back... *CRACK!* ...and blasts Rico across the back with his chair! COACH OH! Somebody comfort Queen Esther. I hope she's not watching. Meanwhile, Scottish Scott has the chair wedged between the turnbuckles and is ready to whip Lucius in... but Lucius somehow manages to reverse and it's Scott who hits the chair spine first! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!" COLE If Queen Esther is watching, I'm sure she'll have enjoyed that. COACH King Landon too. With Scott hurt in the corner, Lucius gets a run up... and hits a CORNER YAKUZA KICK, right to the face! Scott crumbles to the mat and Lucius forces him down onto his shoulders, making the cover... 1... 2... NO! After a bit of effort Lucius gets the chair out from between the turnbuckles. And with Scott down, he takes aim, smashing him across the back! And a second time! Scott rolls over to the ropes and Lucius delivers another shot with him under the bottom rope, before Danny Boy comes back in and grabs Lucius from behind by the EYEBALLS!! LUCIUS AAAHHHHHH!! Giving the eyes a good rake Danny Boy then starts to go to work, clubbering away on Lucius. Something takes Danny Boy's eye at this point. Lucius's fro comb, which has fallen out of his pocket. A good enough weapon for Danny Boy who starts to gouge at Soul's forehead with the comb handle, then jabs it in a couple of times for good measure! COLE Do you think Lucius and Rico are regretting following the King's orders yet? COACH Not at all. What the King decides is the right thing to do, is the right thing to do. COLE Even if it means being forced to fight with two pissed off Scotsmen? Danny Boy gets rid of the comb and hits a double sledge to the back before going for a pin... 1... 2... No! Danny Boy dishes out some more stomps, then grabs the spiked club. COLE Uh-oh! Before he can use it though, Danny spots Rico climbing to the apron. He goes to cut the Brazilian off, but gets caught by Rico who wraps an arm around Danny Boy's throat. Hanging onto the Scot, Rico keeps him neutralised, while Lucius comes over and gives him a kick to the stomach, forcing Danny Boy to drop the club. Still being choked from the apron, Danny Boy is then left wide open for a SPIKED CLUB SHOT right to the midsection!! COLE OH! An unprotected shot with that club, come on! Rico and Lucius lap it up as Danny Boy writhes in pain on the mat, Scottish Scott on the outside hurt as well. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Lucius gets Rico to pick Danny Boy back up and hold him in place, for ANOTHER spiked club shot to the breadbasket! Danny Boy doubles up in pain, stomped in the back by Rico who then strokes his moustache with a smirk on his face while Lucius fluffs his afro. COLE I know this is relaxed rules. But there are relaxed rules and then there are just plain NO rules! COACH You know what else rules? King Landon! He rules the OAOAST, he and his Kingdom, the Kingdom which is standing tall right now while the wannabee "Kings" are flat on their back. "One more" is the call from Lucius, Rico holding Danny Boy in place. As Lucius takes aim this time Danny Boy manages to defend himself, getting his boot up and kicking Lucius in the gut. Sliding back in, Scottish Scott then puts a stop to the second attempt by grabbing the club! Rico throws Danny Boy down, but runs into an elbow off of Scott. Scott quickly ducks the club from Lucius and knocks him down with a big boot to the chest! COLE Scottish Scott isn't on his back anymore Coach! He's up... and what's more, he's got the spiked club! COACH Okay that's enough ref, ding ding ding, DQ! No DQ is coming though, even after Scott takes the club and CLOTHESLINES RICO WITH IT!!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Scott grabs the club again and gives A SHOT TO LUCIUS'S RIBS! AND ONE TO THE BACK!! SCOTTISH SCOTT AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Scottish Scott, laying waste to the Hellfire Club, with his hellish club! Rico picks himself back up with blood seeping from a cut on his forehead. Woozy, he stumbles around the ring, eventually falling into the clutches of Scottish Scott. Booting Rico in the gut, Scott sets him up for a piledriver. But Scott doesn't seem satisfied with that. Walking over to his left a bit Scott repicks his spot and hits a JUMPING PILEDRIVER ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR!!!!!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" COACH AAH! COLE Rico just got CROWNED! With Rico taken care of, Scott turns his attentions to Lucius. Hurting in the corner The Black Knight tries to beg off, but is grabbed by the afro and hauled back to his feet. Lucius is held in place, pleading for his life, while Danny Boy slides a TABLE into the ring and sets it up in the corner. COACH Come on, enough is enough! COLE I don't think it's enough yet Coach. This is payback. Payback for the Last Kings. The kind of payback that King Landon still has coming his way! In the middle of his pleading Lucius is suddenly lifted up off his feet with a double leg pickup. He waves his hands around in a vain attempt to do something, anything to stop what happens next. Heading straight for the table, Scottish Scott charges forward with Lucius in his arms and PLOUGHS HIM RIGHT THROUGH THE TABLE!!!!!!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" COLE The table gets broken in half! COACH No, Lucius got broken in half! The crowd go wild, as Scott drags Lucius's carcass out from the wreckage of the table and presses his fists into his chest, as Danny Boy stands watch. 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING* BUFFER Your winners of the match... THE LAST KKIIIIIINNGGSSS OOOFFF SSSSCCOOOOOTTLLLAAAAANNDD!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" Scottish Scott beats his chest and roars as he and Danny Boy stand tall over the bloodied, beaten and battered bodies of The Hellfire Club. COLE The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club has been DECIMATED! Sweet revenge for Scottish Scott and Danny Boy. And now, next on the agenda, Landon Maddix, James Blonde and Faqu at AngleMania IX in Las Vegas! COACH Oh god. COMMERCIAL

We return with another view of the Boston area OAOAST FLASH!BACK Last Week We swoop over to Tony Brannigan atop the world famous interview stage. BRANNIGAN Ladies and gentlemen… "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The Heavenly Rockers don’t wait to be introduced or for their music to even play. Logan rushes the stage and rips the mike away from Brannigan. Holly and Colonel Abdullah right behind, the latter of who under the watchful eye of band head of security Quiz. LOGAN (fuming) Team Heyross! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" SYNTH, LOGAN & HOLLY LOGAN Team Heyross, didn’t anybody ever tell you be careful what you wish for because you just might get it? You wanted the only rock ‘n’ wrestling band of all-time and now you got them. ANGLEMANIA 9! The most decorated tag team in OAOAST against the hell raisers from Sin City. And we ain’t coming to wrestle… but to fight! Our house, our rules sayeth the Macho MACHO Mann. SIN CITY STREET FIGHT!! What say you?!? Logan drops the mike as "Khyber Pass" by Ministry cues to a chorus of boos. COACH Short and to the point, Mikey Cole. COLE The Heavenly Rockers mean business and so do Team Heyross. I have no doubts they'll accept the challenge for a Sin City Street Fight at AngleMania. And folks, The Last Kings of Scotland mean business as they take on the Mardi Gras Hellfire club next on HeldDOWN~! COMMERCIAL

We're rolling into Anglemania in beautiful Boston Backstage, Josh Matthews is stood by, although a certain safe distance away from, the seething Last Kings Of Scotland. Who with their angry snarls and mohawks aren't really people Josh is comfortable being too close to. MATTHEWS Joining me at this time, The Last Kings Of Scotland... and no doubt, still angry after what happened to you during the King Of The Ring coronation ceremony. You were cast aside by Queen Esther, attacked by The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club on orders of Landon Maddix. What are your thoughts now a couple of weeks on? DANNY BOY Our thoughts? Our thoughts are, we're bloody well pissed off! SCOTTISH SCOTT Aye! We got attacked... from behind, mind. We got laid out an' left fer dead. And tha' Queen Esther, she's walkin' around with her head in the clouds, she's got her new little "Kingdom" an' her fancy new King. Well Esther, lass, if yer listenin', we got a little message for ye'. If ye' thought that you an' yer new little Kingdom were just gon'nay beat us down and get us outta yer hair forever... yer dead wrong. DANNY BOY And Landon Maddix, ye' big soft arse nancy boy! I dunno if you know what you've gotten yerself in for, listening to that airhead Queen of yers. But you've gone and mad yerself some very powerful enemies, lad. We're the meanest, most violent, most sadistic tag team in this whole entire company. Why? Cause we're Scottish! Brush up on yer history lad! Ye don't cross the Scots! We're gonna come after you an' yer Kingdom and we're gonna keep on unleashing hell on you until your castle has crumbled to pieces and your head is stuck on a spike coming outta the top of your throne! We're gonna lay waste to you. And we're gonna lay waste to anyone associated with you. Startin' tonight with Rico and Lucius, those two back-jumping cronies of yours. Maybe when we drop their two bloody carcasses outside yer gate, you and yer Kingdom'll understand the shit yer in! Suddenly, up walks NATHANIEL BLACK. A tense situation is defused by MEGAN SKYE, stepping in as Black and the Scots look like they're about to go nose to nose. MEGAN Easy. We're not here for any trouble. We've got an offer for you. DANNY BOY Really? An' why would we be interested in any offer from this Southern softie? BLACK Listen... I ain't 'ere to ask for your 'elp. The way I see it, you two Jocks need a little 'elp yourself. Seeing this isn't leading anywhere good, Megan steps in again. MEGAN What Nathaniel's trying to say is, we're all in the same boat here. We all want the same thing. There's two things we've got in common and that we can agree on. One... we're all miserable bastards. And two, we all want revenge on Landon, Esther and their flunkies. Reluctant nods from the three miserable bastards. MEGAN So we've got a match all set up. March 28th. The Cucaracha Kingdom, for the 6-Man Titles, against Nathaniel and any two partners. If you want to be those two partners, great. If you don't... well, then you just missed and opportunity to get what you want. What's it going to be? After looking at each other, The Last Kings nod and apparantly the deal is done. SCOTTISH SCOTT A word of advice tho' lassie... us Scots and English... we don'nay get along. MEGAN ...don'nay? BLACK He means we're always 'avin a dust up, innit. MEGAN .....dust up? DANNY BOY We 'ate each other. MEGAN Ah. Okay. Fine by me. The Scots walk off for their match, leaving Black and Megan behind, all looking about as happy as they possibly could with their new alliance. Which isn't very happy at all. COLE That may be the grumpiest group of grumps I've ever seen! And they just might make Landon Maddix as miserable as they are at Anglemania. COACH Don't count on it, Cole. Landon's gonna show that he was always the one with a plan and Megan Skye? Just a pretty, and frowning, face. TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP ALIX MARIA SPEZIA VS COLIN MAGUIRE JUNIOR TONIGHT!

SOPHIE VS MORGAN NERDLY In lieu of entrances plz enjoi this video of a crack head on wheel of fortune http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/vide...40x3pMyJe9s64YK DING DING DING With the contest underway, Sophie steps into a lockup with the champion. The two women tussle for several seconds until Morgan is able to gain the upperhand and take Sophie into a side headlock. The hold doesn’t last for very long however before Sophie shoves Morgan into the ropes. Morgan rebounds towards a lariat, but her quickness allows her to duck beneath the attacking blow. Morgan bounces off the ropes once again and overpowers Sophie with a diving elbow smash. “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” Morgan hunches over awaiting Sophie’s rise, brushing her blond hair out her blue eyes. When the European comes to her feet, Morgan swings into action and upends her with a deep arm drag. Morgan cinches in an arm bar in an attempt to keep Sophie grounded. However this tactic fails miserably as Sophie effortlessly powers her way to her feet. Using her superior strength she muscles Morgan into the ropes. Referee Clem Buzzlefoxer calls for a clean break, which the honorable French girl gives. However, Sophie then strikes with an elbow shot to Morgan’s exposed stomach causing a great deal of hurt to the champion. COLE Sophie perhaps out here doing the dirty work as assigned to her by her relative Josie. Sophie grabs onto Morgan and throws her into the ropes. Sophie then flourishes forward, expecting Morgan to collide with her lariat. But the resourceful champion, grabs hold of the ropes and prevents herself from being bounced back to Sophie. Frustrated, Sophie makes a quick charge at Morgan. However this is unwise as Morgan lowers the ropes and sends Sophie toppling over the top rope. COLE Oh my! Sophie somehow manages to come down on her feet. Yet this acrobatic display does little to aid her as Morgan comes crashing down onto her body with a beautiful plancha! Morgan quickly springs to her feet where she’s shocked at the appreciative applause of the audience. COLE I think Morgan is having a little bit of trouble getting used to be a total fan favorite. She always had her cheers coming to her, but now she’s got the total support of the OAOAST Galaxy. COACH Man, the more you use that term the gayer you both sound. You a sucka for that. Morgan picks Sophie up by her long noir hair and deposits her back in the ring. There, Sophie picks herself up and leans against the ring ropes to catch a much needed breather. However, her opponent pursues her with ferocious intent, charging in with a body splash. Thankfully for Sophie, she’s able to slide out the way of Morgan’s romper clad body and the petite champion collides with the ring posts. Morgan sags against the corner, short of breath and in dire condition. This condition is worsened even further when Sophie attacks her back with raised knees! “OOOOOOOOOOOH!” Sophie shoves Morgan to the canvas and hooks onto her bare legs for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Morgan makes a timely kickout! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Sophie a long time friend and tag team partner of Morgan’s elder sister Molly. I wonder if Molly gave either Sophie or Morgan any advice prior to this contest. Or is she staying out of this one entirely. Sophie drops and elbow onto Morgan’s neck, leading the champion to wheeze with depleted oxygen. Sophie assumes that attack is enough to win the affair and grabs Morgan’s legs for another pinfall effort… ONE! TWO! Morgan throws her shoulder off the canvas, showing the audience she’s very much in this contest. COLE Morgan is so resilient, she’s got a lot of fight in that tiny body of hers. COACH I bet she’s a virgin. COLE What?! COACH She’s so small, you stick it in and probably might go right through her and impale the poor kid. Safety hazard. She could use a cheerio for a dildo. COLE You’re a horrible human being. Horrible. Sophie picks Morgan up and staggers the blonde with several elbow strikes. The French Girl then takes off to the ropes. But as she nears Morgan, the Canadian springs to life and cuts her down with a gorgeous dropkick! COLE It’s a shame that Sophie has to fight Josie’s battle. But Josie will do anything to hamper Morgan’s chances of retaining the Women’s title at Anglemania. COACH What’s really messed up is that if Crystal wins she retires with the belt. Josie’s just gonna let the belt disappear and keep it moving. Sophie rolls to her feet, only to be brought back to the canvas by an impressive flapjack. As the fans cheer Morgan’s attack pattern she hunches over once more to await Sophie’s rise. Sophie quickly staggers upright, and Morgan pounces to take her onto her shoulders in set up for the… COLE Shock And Awe! “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans cheer, knowing what’s forthcoming. SUPERKICK BY CRYSTAL!~!!~!!~~!!~!~!!! COLE Oh my! The fans delight immediately turns to dread and disdain as Crystal stands towering above Morgan. She orders Sophie out the ring, a request Sophie is quck and wise to oblige. COLE What business does she have out here? COACH She’s an OAOAST legend, she can go where she feels. COLE I don’t think so! Crystal wastes no time in slapping on the Crystaling (walls of Jericho)! Morgan screams out in agony, struggling to break free of the hold. Crystal tightens the hold with murderous malice, causing tears to flow freely from Morgan’s eyes. COLE This is just too much! If Leon Rodez were any sort of man, he’d break his so-called strike and help Morgan. But he’s a scumbag who’s probably just backstage watching this. COACH Why you dissin’ on a nigga that ain’t even in this piece? Nobody named Rodez is forthcoming and neither are any officials, most likely held back by Josie. But finally Maggie and Molly arrive with steel chairs to ward off Crystal. The challenger to Morgan’s throne immediately departs the ring. Yet the damage has been done with Morgan unresponsive to Molly’s queries of her condition. Crystal backs up the ramp, stone faced as she’s assaulted with threats and profanities from Maggie. COLE Disgusting. COACH I agree. Molly has no business out here unless she’s going to flash us again. COLE I hate you. LATER TONIGHT RELAXED RULES LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND VS MARDI GRAS HELLFIRE CLUB TONIGHT! COMMERCIAL

OAOAST Syndicated! With SIDEKICK MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD AND HOST ALIX MARIA SPEZIA Brought to you by American Express ***Denzel Spencer Vs Christopher Patrick Allen W/Detective Bosley*** A king of the ring rematch with Money In The Bank implications kicked off Syndicated. With revenge as a motivator, CPA took pleasure in pummeling Denzel at the onset of the contest. However this advantage was short lived as Denzel came back with karate inspired kicks to out brawl the bigger Allen. The match spilled to the outside where the fearsome Ohioan took control after ramming Denzel face first into the ring posts. CPA skirted the limitations of the rulebook as he used chairs and wires to deal damage to his opponent. Avoiding the DQ CPA sent Denzel back into the ring where he worked over the Jamaican. But the Heartland Champion was able to weather the violent storm and came back with ferocious intensity against CPA. The two men traded blows until CPA scooped up Denzel for the Dominator. But Denzel rolled through to gain a shocking pinfall and entry into the Money In The Bank match at AM. Winner: Denzel Spencer, via pinfall Post match Maggie Nerdly caught up with the victor, who promised to break through the glass ceiling and capture the Money In The Bank briefcase en-route to becoming OAOAST World Champion. It was also noted that Sandman and PRL had qualified for the MITB at non-televised events as well. Which is cool because then I don't have to write anything. Yeaaaaaahaaaaaaawwwwww! Vinny Valentine came out and convinced Maggie to give him some interview time. He claimed his US Title match defeat against Alix came because of Biff Atlas. This ludicrous assertion was brought on by the idea that Vinny was wrapped up in proving to the world he carried Biff Atlas in their team and that Biff had no superpowers. He vowed to show himself correct at the biggest event of the year Anglemania IX as he would meet with Biff Atlas in a one on one contest. Biff Atlas at Anglemania? Yes, America, miracles do happen! Alix and Maya sat down for an interview with one Theodore Moneymaker! Not exactly welcome by the pair Moneymaker was embroiled in a brief argument as to whether or not allegations of sheep molestation had valid grounds. Once that was cleared up, Moneymaker explained the reason for Maya’s bake sale destruction and the attempted haircut of one Krista Isadora Duncan. He explained women needed to know their places, lest they start thinking things such as voting, and driving, and chosing who they want to marry are actual options for them. He also said COD doesn’t listen to words only to actions. Thusly he promised Alix actions could get a lot more heated in the weeks leading up to HeldDOWN~! Anglemania. Sorry typo! ***French New Wave (Sophie and Molly) Vs Karen Dreams and Tanya Bluster*** Sophie returned to the OAOAST after a bit of a lay off with vigor and spice! She took a fierce fight to the large Bluster, showing little signs of ring rust. She and Molly performed excellent double teams that kept their foes guessing and off guard. Several near falls occurred as a result of their shrewd tactics. However things went awry when Sophie missed a top rope body splash on Dreams. From there the larger tag team took over, pounding Sophie in their corner. However, the French girl was resilient showing little signs of quitting. Eventually this resolve paid off as she was able to apply the tag to Molly. The inexperienced team of Dreams and Bluster were no match for the combined efforts of French New Wave, and they quickly fell victim to Molly’s Final Cut. Winner: French New Wave, via pinfall. Back in Los Angeles, Alix and Maya returned with an interview with repeat guest, the world famous Molly Nerdly look alike Kristen Stewart! Kristen dicussed her upcoming projects and the DVD release of New Moon with Maya, while Alix attempt to smash open a rubix cube, believing that the secret of life was contained inside. Or at least a really funny dirty limmirick. Alix wondered if Kristen had any arch enemies. Kristen couldn’t think of any, but that didn’t matter to Alix who proceeded to tell us about her arch enemy, Clarence Witherspoon. “A guy named Clarence started living in the supply room in this studio, he said he had squatters rights. I went in for some staples and he said he'd knife fight me for it. Little did he know I run a knife game like OJ. Cut that dude up like a fillet of fish, tossed him a quarter and told him to catch the bus to Canada and get some free health care cuz his ass got tore da fuck up!” Reject, Thunderkid, & Sandman9000 vs Mr. Dick, Baron Windels & Tim Cash The participants in the AngleMania IX main event got together with their associates for a big-time six-man tag team match. MD's team gained the early advantage, as they worked over TK in their corner. However, Sandman was able to land a shot from the apron into the back of Cash, turning the tide. The DA squad did a similar number on Cash, until Sandman missed a moonsault. Cash crawled to his corner, but the referee missed the tag to MD due to Reject's distraction. Reject spat at MD as the referee tried to put him out, enraging him and allowing a prolonged 3-on-1 assault in the corner. Moments later, Cash took advantage as TK put his head down, delivering a kick and making a quick tag to Baron, who was a HOUSE AFIRE, unloading with haymakers and big elbows, then getting a two-count on TK with a Myspace Comeback. A six-man donnybrook breaks out, which ends with all three DA members being whipped into each other, followed by MD hitting TK with the COCK BLOCK~!!!!!11111 and scoring the win for his team WINNERS: Mr. Dick, Baron Windels & Tim Cash Reject sends Cash into the steel steps outside, as Baron and Melody raise Mr. Dick's arms, but MD takes a knee to the back from Sandman and is sent outside. Baron and Sandman tangle in the corner, as Reject slides in behind Melody, then spins her around and drops her with a EULOGY~!!!!!11111 Sandman slips to the outside, at which point Baron turns around and sees Melody unconscious, dropping to his knees to check on her. A concerned Cash slides in as well, followed by Mr. Dick, who leans against the ropes nearest the aisle, staring down the smirking Reject as he and his DA partners retreat down the aisle.

Oh yeah we're definitely doing it! And doing it haaaaaaaaard no homo. I got plenty of shit for it. Plenty.

If anyone will write something, I'll do a MITB qualifying match, probably two. I should do that anyway tho. So write something!!!!

Anglemania draws closer and closer. Coming from Boston the home of CMJ!