Patty O'Green

in this space i wonder if i forgot to post something. oh yeah i forgot to post the show yesterday.

In the backstage interview area... MAGGIE NERDLY is ready to interview Mister Dick MISTER DICK (he's not really wearing that costume) fucking german faggots ruined my picture. i'm glad ur pussy ass lost both world wars and i hope hitler ressurects and takes over your country so we can bomb your gutanging volkswagen ass off the face of this rock for good. go choke on a frankfurter and i'll stick a bottle of henieken up your poop shoot! MAGGIE What's up OAOAST Marks? Maggie Nerdly, "It" Girl on the scene, lookin fresh and fly for the Miss Nerdly 08 contest. I'm pullin double duty servin up my lame sisters and standing with the Deadly Alliance's Human Hard On, Mister Dick. So, Mister Dick, you've been condemned by the OAOAST board, the OAOAST Marks, OAOAST legends and most of your fellow wrestlers for going at PRL like that last week. Got anything else to say about the beloved superstar you laid up? MISTER DICK I bet most of ya'll must think I'm gonna hem and haw about PRL. MAGGIE Probably 'cause I just asked ya about him! MISTER DICK But, yer wrong. I ain't gonna give that scrub no more attention because the attention he got when he was running around with the title belt he stole from us deserving wrestlers, is more than he ever shoulda got in the first place! The reason I ain't attacked him when he was lugging around that leather strap is cause I was smart. I was smart enough to realize that if no one bothered with him he'd realize he ain't good enough to be taken seriously round here and he'd just disappear. Ya see, no one besides Brickston, Wall, Maddix and Bohemoth ever wanted that title as long as he had it, and they only wanted it because they were too damn stupid too realize that if you won the belt off the biggest joke of a champion since Ronnie Garvin, you were a joke to! MAGGIE I think your boss Alfdogg wanted it- MISTER DICK (ignoring Maggie) I'm a man of my word, Maggie Nerdly, you better believe that. When I said that boy would never see the world title again, I meant it! He can work and work and work to rehab that bicep all he wants but when he gets ready to make his big return and starts his climb back to the top, ya know what I'm gonna do? I'm just gonna shut him down again! PRL go to ROH, go to TNA, go to WWE, go wherever you need to go, but don't you ever comeback 'round these parts, boy, or I will put you through hell all over again. Mister Dick chuckles to himself over the thought of replaying last weeks heinous attack on PRL. MISTER DICK Its fittin a joke like Rodez won the world title from another joke like PRL. As far as I'm concerned Leon Rodez is about a big a bum as PRL! He sure ain't funny, he looks like a god damn homo- MAGGIE No argument from this Nerdly! MISTER DICK And the only reason he ain't as bad as PRL is 'cause he ain't takin up my good time with 10 year old catchphrases that weren't even funny a decade ago. I'ma get you, Rodez, I hope you know that. But first I gotta deal with Tyler Bryant. MAGGIE Yeah, he got a match made between you and him at the New Years Spectacular. MISTER DICK He doin that on advice from Krista. Boy, you're only a speed bump on my road to her! She's duckin and dodgin' me like G.W. ducks and dodges some Hush Puppies. That MILFU, Mother I'd Like to Fuck Up, thinks just cause Malibu caught me with a cheap shot and she got the pin at November Reign, that she's done with me? Ain't no way no how! She ain't ever gonna be done with me. Not until Mister Dick tears her sweet ass out raw! Even when Malaysia crams that 10 inch plastic dong down her throat on New Years Day, this war ain't gonna stop till my 12 inch king dong knocks the dust off her pussy and I hear her say I quit. MAGGIE What's up with your obsession with her? Besides her huge boobs? MISTER DICK Ain't no obsession about it! I'm out to prove one thing, that I'm the greatest that's ever lived. I accomplish that in two ways, I win the OAOAST World Title, and I become the first person to ever defeat Krista 1 on 1 and to make her submit. When you go hunting, you go for the biggest buck. When you go fishing you go for the biggest bass. I'm storming a castle and I'm goin for the queen! It don't matter to me who I gotta hurt to do it. If I gotta do PRL part 2 on Tyler Bryant, I'm gonna do it. If I gotta get Jade in a corner and show her what her uncle did to those crackwhores on camera then I'm gonna do that. If I gotta go pull Maya outta school and run up a kidnapping charge that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna systematically go after everything Krista cares about and I'm gonna put the bullet at her head when everyone is watching. MAGGIE And that would be? MISTER DICK At Anglemania. Just you ya'll watch and see, I won't have just an Anglemania moment. I will have thee Anglemania moment! I will change the world with one victory. The greatest victory of them all on the grandest stage of them all. MAGGIE Know what I admire about ya? Your modesty. How's a dude like you remain so humble and down to earth? Sarcasm Off. I heard you've got a video that needs showing? Something that's gonna shock the world and light up Krista. Wanna play it? MISTER DICK Heck yes I do! Show that tape and show the world what kinda man I am! EARLIER THIS WEEK DETROIT ROCK CITAAAAAAAAAAAY MICHIGAN~!!!~!! Which is were I am right now as you read this! Actually take that back no I ain't, I decided not to go. Although the city is overran by ice and sub zero temperatures, Mister Dick would not dare to cover up his gorgeous body. In this North American tundra MD has decided to freeze to death in short bulge exhibiting white leather shorts, and a red Texas A&M t-shirt. The Human Hard On stands out front of physical therapy clinic, attracting odd stares from the few passers bys that witness his odd presence. And hey there's me! There's Patty! Nope, nevermind, that's just a homeless dude masterbating into a bottle of wild turkey. MISTER DICK Tyler Bryant, you ain't nothin but a balless bastard! And I want ya to know I ain't doin this 'cause of you, boy. This got nothin to do with you. You ain't worth my time. When I Stiff Kicked you, that was that for our "feud". You were stupid to get a match with me. If you get smart by January 1st you're gonna know you better lie down and take it like all your little teenage skank fans is gonna take it from Mister Dick! The reason why I'm where I am is cause of Krista. This is Detroit Michigan. Its pretty far removed from Hollywood. There are no bright lights round these parts. I don't see any paparazzi lurking in the bushes. No one keeps their head on a swivel lookin for a celeb sighting. But this place is still pretty important to Krista, 'cause this where Shayne Brave is going through physical therapy. Mister Dick points to the building as the camera pans up to reveal its name "Excellence In Care, Physical Therapy". The excellence in constantly having an erection forcibly refocusses the camera back on him. MISTER DICK Krista, yer a busy girl. Ya'll celebs got a lot crazier a schedule than us normal common folk. That's a sad fact of life 'cause you don't always getta spend time with the ones ya care about. Shayne Brave, he's been having a tough time of it trynna come back from his arm injury. Everday the kid has been in this same center just trynna get better so he can return back to action. I'm proud of him, and I know you are to. I bet you wanted to visit Shayne in therapy but you just ain't had the time. That's a shame, and I feel bad for the both of ya, because I know its something ya really wanted to do. No worries, Krista. I'm gonna pay your respects for you. I done bought the young man a gift basket of Krista Isadora Duncan brand goodies and I know he gonna like it. What we got here? Mister Dick picks up a gift basket off the ground. Inside the wicker basket is a wealth of KID Incorporated merchandise, from lip gloss, to exercise videos, to workout clothes, to swimsuit calendars, MD has filled his basket with delightful treats from Shayne's celebrity crush. MISTER DICK Fantastic stuff, sure is. High quality items that make a great gift. Come on, let's go put a smile on this young man's face. The view fades into Shayne sitting in an empty physical therapy room, using his injured arm to try and manipulate a stress ball. With full focus on his task he sits on a counter wearing track pants and a Lions sweatshirt. That's very bold of him to claim any affiliation with the Lions. MISTER DICK (entering the room) Shayne Brave! There's the man! There he is! Horrified by the thick Texas accent alone, Shayne is even more disgusted to find out it belongs to the unwelcome and unwanted Mister Dick. SHAYNE Mister Dick? What are you doing here? MISTER DICK Just here to put a smile on your face, buddy! Shayne fights back a pressing urge to vomit at the word "buddy" SHAYNE Do I look like I'm smiling to you? MISTER DICK You're gonna be. Trust me, you're gonna be. Laughing with a strong hint of faux friendliness, Mister Dick gives Shayne an even more disingenuous thumbs up. SHAYNE Why? Are you leaving soon? Mister Dick feigns hurt, as if those words were some of the most painful he's ever been struck with. MISTER DICK That attitude ain't very brotherly of you. Maybe you might change it just a bit after you get a load of these goodies. Mister Dick sets the gift basket of KID Enterprise merchandise onto the counter. Despite the wealth of Krista themed and endorsed treats, Shayne has no smile on his face. He only possess a look of annoyance that slowly creeps towards rage. SHAYNE (sarcastic) Thanks for thinking of me, Jock. You're a real pal. MISTER DICK So are you, buddy, so are you. How's the arm hold up? I remember I hurt my shoulder playin pigskin at Texas A&M, star Quarterback I was, and it was just hell rehabing it. SHAYNE What do you care about my arm? What do you care about me at all? MISTER DICK Camaraderie and kinship, brother. Just 'cause my name is Mister Dick don't mean I'm a bad guy all the time. I got feelings, and I got emotions, and when I hear folks sayin' bad stuff 'bout me it gets on me. I'm just trynna be a good guy and cheer up a guy who needs it. Shayne can barely keep himself from using his one decent hand to forcibly remove Mister Dick from the area. With his patience being tested by the second, he speaks as calmly and cooly as he can manage. SHAYNE I don't need any of your "cheer", Jock. I was actually doing alright, and then you showed up. If you want to help me, then you can leave. Mister Dick shakes his head as though he wants to leave but there's something of great import holding him hostage to this room. MISTER DICK I can't do that. SHAYNE Why not? I can have someone show you the door. Shayne looks prepared to motion for security, but something in Mister Dick's face, a faint hint of violent evil perhaps, causes him to stop short. MISTER DICK Boy, I didn't come out for wool to come home shorn. SHAYNE What does that mean? MISTER DICK This. Suddenly Mister Dick grabs onto Shayne's arm and attempts to slam it into the wall! But Shayne manages to bat him away with a quick swipe of his boot against MD's stomach. Though this pushes MD back it turns him infuriated and full of rage he charges at Shayne. He lowers himself like a rumbling bull and slams Shayne against the wall with his shoulder. Immediately upon impact a cracking sound echoes throughout the room along with Shayne's tortured screams. Even though the pain of MD's attack is great, Shayne still has the strength and wits to grab a desperate hold of a 1 pound weight off a wall mounted rack. Though the weight may be light it feels as heavy as an anvil to Mister Dick when it comes crashing down upon his head. MISTER DICK (staggering backwards) AHHHHHH! With his aggressor paralyzed by a headache that pounds like a jack hammer in his skull, Shayne moves to finish him off. Quick strides carry him towards a reeling Mister Dick as his left arm is angled to unleash the killing blow. But the fatal strike is avoided by the swift movement of the Human Hard On; he wraps his hands around Brave's slender waist and raises him into the air. Shayne hasn't a single moment to try and fight for his freedom before he's fighting for his breath after Mister Dick slams him back first into a wall mounted mirror. Painted red by tiny rivulets of blood, shards of glass fall in a glimmering downpour as Shayne's voice cracks with anguish. Slumped against the mirror who's surface impales his back, his blurred eyes watch as Mister Dick gathers up a nearby chair his lead legs should be running from. But as they aren't prone to movement they leave his arm open to a horrible collision with the wildly slung chair. Instantly Shayne topples over, his world smoked to blackness by the indescribable pain that leaves him lying on the floor. SECURITY GUARD (rushing into the room) Hey! Hey! Come on chill! Mister Dick barely acknowledges the all too late arrival of security, instead keeping his widened eyes on his victim. SECURITY GUARD 2 Chill! Chill! MD calmly adjusts the straps on his Texas A&M tank top and turns to the guards. A very real sense of fear floods their eyes, weakens their muscles, and inches them back towards the door. MISTER DICK I'm gonna chill. That's what I'm gonna do. That's the best advice anyone ever gave me. Mister Dick brushes past the security guards, who with their sighs of relief seem like they've received a stay of execution. MISTER DICK (looking over his shoulder from the doorway) Make sure Mister Brave receives my gift basket. I'd hate for him to go without it. FADE OUT TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT CANADA'S GEEKIEST MISS NERDLY 08 TONIGHT!

Oh No by Mos Def, Nate Dogg and Pharoahe Monche hits, and the crowd gets to its feet as Todd Cortez comes through the curtains. COLE Todd Cortez, with another shot at Alfdogg, this time for the United States title! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following no-disqualification contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the OAOAST United States championship! Making his way to the ring, the challenger...hailing from Hollywood Boulevard, and weighing in at 226 pounds...representing Cucaracha Internacional...he is the URBAN LEGEND, TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODD COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!! Cortez slides into the ring and waits patiently, as Magnum Opus hits, and Alfdogg walks through the curtain, wearing the United States title belt around his waist. BUFFER His opponent...weighing in at 237 pounds...he is the leader of the Deadly Alliance, and the REIGNING and DEFENDING OAOAST United States champion...ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLFFFFFFFFFFFFFFDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGG!!!!! COLE And of course, at November Reign, Todd Cortez able to eliminate Alfdogg from their elimination match, getting a pinfall after the Riot Act Plus! He fought valiantly, but Sandman9000 was the survivor of that match, thanks to Alf! Alf steps into the ring and removes his belt, raising it into the main camera, to the boos of the crowd. He then hands it to the referee, who calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* Alf meets Cortez in mid-ring, talking trash to him, then the two begin to exchange blows. COLE And a slugfest developing from the start! Cortez begins to get the better of the exchange, but Alf delivers a foot to the gut. Alf then drags Cortez into the corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Alf sets up an Irish whip, but Cortez reverses, then follows Alf, who slings himself into the air, but Cortez stops and Alf lands right in front of him, and gets floored with a clothesline! COLE Nice presence of mind by Cortez, stopping himself and catching Alf with that clothesline! Cortez covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Cortez stomps Alf, who rolls out of the ring. Cortez follows, and rams Alf's face into the apron! COLE And now Cortez taking it to the outside! Alf tries to get away from Cortez, who comes from behind and shoves him into the post! Cortez grabs Alf by the foot, as Alf goes under the ring, and drags a chair with him as Cortez drags Alf back. Alf gets to his knees, then jams Cortez in the gut with the chair! COACH Alf got a hold of a chair, and now using it to his advantage! Cortez doubles over, and Alf gets to his feet, then brings it down across his back! COLE And Alf is right in his element right now! Alf rolls Cortez back inside, and follows him in, bringing the chair down on his back again! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Alf tosses Cortez to the outside, and follows him, hammering away on him on the guardrail, then delivering a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Alf then backs up, and charges Cortez...but Cortez ducks, and backdrops him into the crowd! COLE And they're into the stands here in Kansas City! Cortez delivers right hands to Alf, who tries to get away. As security guards tries to keep the fans back, Alf pulls one in the way, then reaches over him and lands a cheap shot on Cortez! COACH Alf using everything to his advantage! Alf delivers a kick to the gut, then sets up a suplex. COLE And Alf setting up a suplex on the floor! Cortez blocks, then blocks again, and delivers a suplex of his own! COACH Oh, no! COLE But Cortez counters to one of his own! Alf holds his back, then starts to crawl away, with Cortez in pursuit. Alf then gets to his feet, and walks through a curtain into the backstage area, and Cortez follows. Cortez catches up to Alf, and tosses him onto a table with various deli trays/coffee/etc. Cortez then makes his way to a broom closet, and opens it up, to find... RICKY CALDWELL??? GARBAGE DAY!!! ...just kidding. in reality, Thunderkid is inside, and busts a mop handle over Cortez's head! COLE HEY! This was a setup! TK stomps away on Cortez, and Reject comes into the picture shortly after, stomping away, as well. COACH The tag team champions to the rescue! I love it! And there's no DQ's, Cole! Alf slowly gets off the table, then drags it out away from the wall. After he does, TK and Reject lift Cortez up in a double team spinebuster, DRIVING HIM THROUGH THE TABLE~! COLE And Todd Cortez put through the table! Alf then calls down the hall, and Sandman can be seen walking some sort of animal. COLE It's Sandman9000, but what does he have with him? COACH What is that, some kind of animal...is that a PORCUPINE? Indeed, it is a porcupine, as Sandman walks it onto the scene. COLE I've never seen a porcupine that big! COACH What are they doing with it here, though? COLE I can only shudder to think. Sandman, holding the leash with his right hand, lifts the porcupine and strokes it with his hand a couple times...then TOSSES IT DOWN ONTO THE KNEE OF CORTEZ!!! COLE NO! The porcupine begins going crazy, leaving several of its huge quills embedded into the right knee of Todd Cortez! After a few seconds of this, Sandman pulls the porcupine off, as it hisses at the fallen Cortez, screaming in agony. COACH Wow...I've never seen anything like this, Cole. COLE I mean, who knows...those things could be poisonous! EMTs and backstage officials pour backstage to back the DA off and tend to Cortez, as Sandman moves the porcupine towards some of the EMTs, then pulls it back quickly, much to his amusement. COLE And this obviously a setup by Alf and the Deadly Alliance...this is just heinous. COACH Well, Cortez agreed to make this a no-DQ match, and Alf said, you better think about it before giving the DA a license to do whatever they want! COLE But I don't think he had in mind the possibility of being attacked by a rabid animal! EMTs quickly lift Cortez onto a cot in the back of an ambulence, and get inside, then depart the arena. COLE Well folks...hopefully we'll get an update on the condition of Todd Cortez as soon as possible, but who knows what could be in his future after what we just saw. Folks, we will be back with even more HeldDOWN~! NEXT WEEK A HOLIDAY SPECIAL! CHRISTMAS/HANUKAH HeldDOWN~! NEXT WEEK ON TSM~! COMMERCIAL

Dressed in the RED HOT ON SALE FOR THE HOLIDAYZ IN CROWD hockey jersey, Terry Taylor stands backstage with Lucius Soul. Unlike the shameful corporate shill, Soul styles himself true to his personality in a snakeskin suit and snakeskin rimmed sun glasses. TERRY Terry Taylor, OAOAST Broadcast Correspondent, in the OAOAST Interview area with man who's caused some controversy in the industry as of late. I'm talking about Lucius Soul. Mister Soul, last week you and your partner Rico De Janerio had a contest with the All American Boys. As Terry speaks highlights of last weeks tag bout play on screen. TERRY Although you won the match, you were accidentally struck by your partner Rico De Janerio. Post match you chewed him out over this error. Do you feel bad for that? Do you have any regrets? Soul laughs at what he perceives to be an inane suggestion. SOUL I'm an OG Mac, chickenhead. Only thing I gotta do is in this world is stay an OG Mac, be an OG Mac and act like an OG Mac. Anything else is optional. A mac does what a mac does cause he's actin on Mac like behavior. Once he starts gettin them regrets then he ain't no Mac he's just a common ho. And a common ho is only good for one thing. Macking. Feel bad? Nope, not this pimp. Ain't got nothin to feel bad about. TERRY But, are you upset that what you said to Biff Atlas, about considering leaving the Wrecking Crew, was aired for all the world to see? Many OAOAST legends and performers have derided your comments, saying that needs to be kept in the lockeroom not aired out in front of the camera. SOUL I said what I said 'cause I was thinkin it at the time. A pimp's got a stable of hoes, and he as a pro, has to make sure they're good to go. When of the hoes ain't ready for the sho, he's gotta show them the do'. Feel me? Word to mother, this ain't chess in the park, or Madden with the boys, this is true life street shit. You can wear the baddest britches on the block, but if you ain't got the baddst bitches on the cock, you gonna wind up left in stitches and thrown off the dock. If you slippin in your work, if you get caught sleepin, if that's that case you gotta reexamine yo situation n'shit and maybe eliminate what's holding you back. TERRY Are you saying Rico is holding you back? SOUL I'm calling what it is what it is. A man gots a role to play in life. He can either be a mac or he can be a ho. Just 'cause you ain't walkin the streets turnin tricks don't mean you can't be no ho. From what I seen last week, from what I seen for many weeks, Rico's starting to look he got some hoish tendencies. I come from hustlers, thugs, and bangers, not bitches, hos, and tricks. If you ain't gonna rep what I'm reppin, then I ain't got time for you. That don't mean the Wrecking Crew is done, but it do means this team has gotta see some kind of improvement real quick. Real quick. BOOOOOOM! SOUL (startled) Ya'll wanna put a pimp six feet under! Terry, Soul and the camera turn their shocked eyes to the source of the deafening explosion. Their fright and awe isn't eased any when they see Ragdoll and his gang of facepainted thugs scattering to calm a raging fire they've created in the hallway. RAGDOLL (shouting down to Terry and Lucius) Was that.....enTERtaining enOUGH for everyone? BOOM! I enjoyed....tHAt....aaaaaand I bet you did....to. TERRY I...I...how much did Krista pay you to shoot a rocket launcher at me? Whatever it is I can't afford to double it, but I can afford to suck you off. And swallow. RAGDOLL TERRY I think we're done here as I have Tic-Tacs to fetch! Mister Soul, thank you for your time. OAOAST Marks, enjoy the show, and look for me on the judging panel of Miss Nerdly 08! COMING UP NEXT ***UNITED STATES TITLE*** ALFDOGG VS TODD CORTEZ NEXT COMMERCIAL

The Wall by Kansas plays, and Alfdogg walks out, followed by the rest of the Deadly Alliance. COLE And here comes the Deadly Alliance, obviously with some things to say! And considering what happened to Tha Puerto Rican last week, I'd say they do in fact have some explaining to do! COACH Oh man, last week was one of the greatest experiences of my life! COLE You finally got to see a woman naked? COACH No! Because Tha Puerto Rican is gone at last, thanks to the Deadly Alliance's newest member, Mr. Dick! COLE Well, hang in there, sport, your day will come eventually. Melissa Nerdly walks around to the timekeepers' table and grabs a microphone, then steps into the ring. MELISSA Melissa Nerdly here! And I'm conducting an interview with the hottest stable in the OAOAST...no, make that in the HISTORY of WRESTLING...the Deadly Alliance! *crowd boos* MELISSA Which includes the World tag team champions, Thunderkid and Reject! *crowd boos* Melissa walks up and puts her arm around Reject, who responds in kind. MELISSA Hey babe. The Anderson Cup's coming up. What do you guys think? REJECT Ah yes, the Anderson Cup. 16 of the finest teams the OAOAST has to offer, competing in a tournament in which the "prize" is a shot at me and Thunderkid. TK "To the victor goes the spoils?" I don't think this is what they had in mind. REJECT Not that it matters, since we've already mowed down all the teams in this baby...except for one team which just so happens to be representing our stable, and are just in it for the trophy! COLE Reject of course referring to Mr. Dick and Malaysia. REJECT (arm around Melissa) Say, you two wouldn't have a problem..."sharing" the trophy with us on occasion? MISTER DICK THUNDERKID ... ... REJECT Not us as in you and me, dope! THUNDERKID MELISSA Now then, Alf...let's talk about this PRL thing a little further. ALF Absolutely. You know, a lot of people may not believe this, but I happen to think that when it was all said and done, PRL was a tremendous fighting champion. As much as I hate to admit it, he did manage some victories over yours truly, so he must have been doing something right! *crowd boos* ALF And I did give him his props after the Halloween Spectacular, when he scored his first LEGIT victory over me. He gained a lot of respect from me that night...but in the weeks that followed, a remarkable thing happened to this man. You know, Melissa, I know as well as anyone that the drive for the belt can do strange things to a man. And just to watch PRL go out there and disrespect, and degrade Leon Rodez...not like you can grade him much lower, but that's beside the point! Melissa laughs. ALF My point is, that after all these months of PRL running with this facade...PRL became the very non-believer that he made a career out of proving wrong. *crowd boos* ALF When I saw him doing these interview bits with Leon, running him down...it was like a flashback to about nine months ago, when PRL was standing on the other side fuming, and Popick was holding that mic! And we all know how that turned out...Popick hasn't been heard from since. COLE Thank God. ALF So, I thought it was only fair that PRL met the same fate. And what a better way to initiate our newest member, than to bestow this honor upon him? ...the Conquistador stuff was kind of weird, but Mr. Dick did the Deadly Alliance proud! *crowd boos* MELISSA Now, let's talk about tonight, you defend your United States title in a no-DQ match against Todd Cortez. You know, he got that flukey pin on you at November Reign, so I guess that makes him worthy of a title shot or something. ALF You know, I just laughed when I heard that Cortez asked for the no-DQ stipulation. Cortez, you better think it through before you tell the Deadly Alliance "no disqualification." You see, we're here in Kansas City! *crowd cheers* ALF And all you have to do is ask Joe Montana...this is where careers come to die. *crowd boos* ALF And you just might find that out the hard way tonight. The Wall plays, as the DA departs. COLE It should be an exciting match tonight, US title on the line, Alfdogg vs Todd Cortez! Let's go to... where the grass is green and the girls are pretty

I Patty O'Green, lover, fighter, warrior, romancer of men no homo, shall retake posting duties on this eve of Thursday December 18th. Let there be joy in the hearts of man!

Can this show be as good as last weeks? I dunno I ain't psychic or nothin, sheeeeeeeiaaaaaat. On the real fuck ed werder and fuck espn and fuck dudes in lockerooms snitchin on shit to these hoes in the media these ole Huggy Bear ass niccas. Tony knows whats good. Shouts out to my man TO.

I ain't one of those cats to put a or a or a that's some yellow folk shit, and I can my skin chocolate milk blessed, true story. But I will wish dude a down ass birthday!

As Dr.Z's official liaison to the rest of the board, I would like to transmit the following: "I need to have a few people, over the next few weeks, write Ragdoll into their matches/promos/what have you, doing something crazy. It can be as basic as Ragdoll coming out to watch and be the ring bell guy to something fucked up like setting the ring on fire. I dunno, bruh! SOMETHINGGGG!" This is all for now. I shall keep you updated of his further wishes. Thank you for your understanding and compliance.

Oh hey-hey-hey-hey, Tony's posting the show this week cause I'm out of town from tomorrow till Sunday. Dig?

Hey my avatar is big. Also read the above post. And my avatar is big!

BOOOOOOMSHAKALAKA!! Voting starts RIGHT THE FUCK NOW SON and ends on Sunday bloody Sunday at whatever time Molly Nerdly has enough votes to win female personality of the year. Anyone who's ever been in the OAOAST or randomly reads the show is eligible to vote. Winners will be notified by I dunno 22nd or the 23rd. Speeches would be needed by the 29th or the 30th. Ideally what a nigga wants to do is have the AA's go up either the day of the 31st because I don't celebrate new years or the 1st before the NYS. WRESTLER OF THE YEAR No nominees! Just write in who you think should win. SMH if this backfires into a 3 way tie. I will slaughter you all if it does. In retrospect I should've just done most of the awards this way. Repeat from the post bellow: Ah crap I have to explain something! The wrestler of the year is only one award, you just can just pick anyone on the roster. You dig me? FEMALE PERFORMER OF THE YEAR aka Duncan Girls Vs Nerdly Girls -Jade Rodez-Duncan- -Krista Isadora Duncan- -Alix Maria Spezia- -Molly Nerdly- (every vote for someone who's not Molly counts as one for Molly) -Malaysia Nerdly- -Maggie Nerdly- ENTERTAINING CHARACTERS OF THE YEAR -PATD! (Vinny, Biff, and Tony T)- -The Enterprise Brass (Theodore, CW, and Mackie)- -The Duncan Girls (Alix, Krista, Jade and Maya and guest starring Molly Nerdly and Terry Taylor)- -Mister Dick and Malaysia- -James Blonde (one man stands by himself, and entertainer on an island, with pictures of Landon Maddix naked drawn on the sand)- FACE OF THE YEAR -Ragdoll- -PRL- -Leon Rodez- -Zack Malibu- -Bohemoth- DOWN AZZ NIGGA OF THE YEAR (aka heel of the year) -Theodore Moneymaker- -Mister Dick- -Landon Maddix- -Reject- -Colin Maguire, Jr. - YOUNG LION AWARD (as in performer who has seen a huge advancement in their career over the year, should've just called this Breakout Star award. I am a dork and I suck.) -Jerme Grey- -Mister Dick- -Nathaniel Black- -John Brickston- -Tim Cash- -Jade Rodez-Duncan- BROMANCE OF THE YEAR (aka tag team of the year) -Team Heyross- -D*LUX- -The Heavenly Rockers- -TK & Reject- -The Beverly Hills Blonds- THE ALMIGHTY STABLE OF THE YEAR -Deadly Alliance- -The Enterprise- -Lightening Crew- -Cucaracha Internacional- -IRA- -In Crowd- ROMANCE OF THE YEAR -Leon Rodez and his many Nerdly loves- -Biff and a strong regard for the preservation of his life- -Reject and Melissa- -Alix and Mackie and Krista love triangle- -Malaysia and Mister Dick- -James Blonde and Landon Maddix- TITLE REIGN OF THE YEAR -Sandman9000's Heartland title reign- -Reject and ThunderKid's tag title reign- -Cucaracha Internacional's six man title reign- -PRL's world title reign- -Jerme Grey's IC reign- -Jade's Women's Title reign- MOST SHOCKING MOMENT OF THE YEAR -Cuban Wall wins the Royal Rumble- -Jock Mulligan throws Braon Windells through the HOW set- -The In Crowd reforms- -The DA reforms- -Krista has a kid on the roster! And it turns out to be Jade!- -Josie Baker returns as GM!- DICK MOVE OF THE YEAR -Mister Dick jerks off on Baron and then writes a song about it- -Mackenzie falsely accuses Boheomoth of rape- -Alfdogg uses his golden ticket on PRL after PRL just went through an Ironman match- -Everything Moneymaker has done to Krista, including but not limited to, turning Alix against her, running a smear campaign against her 13 yr old daughter, offering money and shares in TSM to get her eliminated from the MITB tournament, revealing that Jade is her daughter, and just generally being homophobic and an asshole- -Reject's being hard on these triflin ass hoes- FEEL GOOD MOMENT OF THE YEAR -Leon Rodez wins the world title- -PRL wins the world title- -Jade-Rodez Duncan wins the women's title- -The Beverly Hills Blonds leave The Enterprise after weeks of abuse!- -Jerme Grey and Evelyn get together- ENTERTAINING SEGMENT OF THE YEAR (this was srsly the hardest one to choice nominees for too many funny segments) 5 Man Prism "Gauntlet" HeldDOWN~! 10/24/08 Rodez2Hell HeldDOWN~! 8/22 The Final Reel Talk HeldDOWN~! 6/13 Ultimate Ether: To Catch an Anglesault HeldDOWN~! 6/19 THIS IS THE INTERPRISE! In Crowd impersonates the E! HeldDOWN~! 10/9 FREE TV MATCH OF THE YEAR 5-Man Prism Elimination Match For The OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship: Tha Puerto Rican (Champion) vs. Alfdogg (Challenger) vs. Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix (Challenger) vs. Brickston (Challenger) vs. Bohemoth (Challenger) (Halloween Spectacular) 4 Way Tag Title Match: In Crowd Vs Deadly Alliance Vs The Enterprise Vs Cucaracha Internacional (Halloween Spectacular) Zack Malibu Vs Nathaniel Black (OAOAST HeldDOWN~! uhhhh sometime in August) Torneo Cibernetico-Kings of Leon Vs Cucaracha Internacional (OAOAST HeldDOWN 3/15) Krista Isadora Duncan Vs Mister Dick Submissions Count Anywhere (OAOAST HeldDOWN~! 11/4) PPV MATCH OF THE YEAR (find these your own damn self!) 10-Person Survivor Series Elimination Match: The Dream Team vs. The Cleveland Steamers (November Reign 2008, November 30, 2008) 60-Minute Iron Man Match For The OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship: Tha Puerto Rican (Champion) vs. Brickston (Challenger) (AngleSlam 2008, August 31, 2008) Chamber Of Hell IV (Zero Hour, September 28, 2008) Jade Rodez-Duncan Vs Malaysia (Angleslam 08) Vinny Valentine Vs Mister Warrior (Anglemania 08) War Games: Team Sommers Vs Team Phoenix (Great Angle Bash 08) Zack Malibu Vs Bohemoth (Anglemania 08) (OMGHIJACK!) FUED OF THE YEAR -PRL VS STEPHEN JOSEPH WHY DID I LEAVE CAPS ON?- -The In Crowd+Krista+Anglesault Vs The Enterprise- -Zack Malibu Vs Bohemoth- -Leon Rodez Vs Reject- -Mister Dick Vs Baron- -Krista Vs Alix- MANAGER OF THE YEAR -Abdullah Abir Nerdly- -Megan Skye- -Melody Nerdly- -Molly Nerdly- (I think u fools kno who to vote 4) -Mackenzie DeCenzo- -Tony Tourettes-

By special request from EWC, I'm changing Stephen Joseph Vs PRL to PRL Vs Leon Rodez in the feud of the year category. Well, he didn't request it outright, but he and I both know what he said I ain't gotta justify myself to you bitch made pussies. I love you all very much. You're great and beautiful.

Ah crap I have to explain something! The wrestler of the year is only one award, you just can vote for either a male or female. You dig me?

Props to the dude Dr.z, I said write me a segment midway through postin the show and the cat wrote me a damn good one in like three minutes. The rest of you dudes I gotta harass for months to do something, YA'LL KNOW WHO U IS! Neway damn good show and there's still shit missing! WOOOOOOOW! :headbang: :headbang: :headbang:

What's poppin, family? Think you're better than everyone else in the fed at writing matches? Think Tony or Alf was full of crap when they didn't select your match as MOTN in a feedback thread? Now's time to get payback! Rather than sift through a bunch of old shows, I'm gonna give you da people a chance to state what the best match (or matches) you wrote was/were and I'll make them the candiates for MOTY for the angle awards. Oh snapplez, I'm replacing the feel good moment of the year with the feel bad moment of the year for most dastardly heel act so if you got any suggestions, lay it on a cat. I don't wanna do a whole bunch of awards but if anyone has an idea for a unique one that hasn't been done before drop some knowledge, b. The ballot should go up by Sunday, maybe.

Oh we can do feel good moment of the year, its no problem. but smh@ewc bein the only one of ya'll to display real nigga qualities. Tru story, most of ya'll are probably the "before swagger from old spice" in this add...

BUFFER The following contest is your HeldDOWN~! main event of the evening... an Intergender Tag Team Match, set for one fall! I am a Real American Dick! Exploding on the face of every woman! I am Real American Dick! Suck on my balls, till I cum like Niagara falls! When I come crashing down and its throbbing deep inside I’ll leave you wetter than a flood tide I gotta bend you over that’s how I like to ride! I date a girl who whips my hide And my 12 inches is my greatest pride I am a Real American Dick! Exploding on the face of every woman! I am Real American Dick! Suck on my balls, till I cum like Niagara falls! Dickamania is running wild as "Womanizer" kicks in and Mr. Dick kicks out into the arena. Underneath the golden shower of pyro, Mr. Dick and Malaysia engage in a game of tonsil hockey which is arguably more violent than anything you've ever seen in the NHL! BUFFER Introducing team number one. Coming down the aisle, they represent THE DEADLY ALLIANCE! First, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada... she is the OAOAST's Ultimate Combination of Beauty and Beatdowns... MMMMAAALLLLLLAAAAAYYYYYSSSSIIIIAAAAAAAA!! And her partner... hailing from San Antonio, Texas. Weighing in at two hundred, thirty eight pounds... ladies and gentlemen, he is "THE HUMAN HARD ON"... MMMMIIIIIIISSSSSSSSTTEEEEEEERRRRRRR... DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Giving a whole new meaning to ball-cupping, The Real American Dick goes through his unique posing ritual on his way to the ring. Behind him, the intimidating Malaysia cracks her whip. COACH The first official entrants into next year's Anderson Cup, the latest recruits to The Deadly Alliance, tonight can Mr. Dick and Malaysia knock off the World and Women's Champions and put their themselves in the hunt for the singles gold? Answer, yes. COLE I can't believe the audacity of these two, coming out here as if nothing happened, as if that brutal attack on Tha Puerto Rican earlier tonight had nothing to do with them! An attack on an injured man! COACH He was provoked. PRL ran his mouth and finally, FINALLY, got what was coming to him. Mr. Dick stops at the foot of the ramp and encourages the fans nearby to back up, or at the very least take cover, as Malaysia rips off his chaps with absolutely no caution about causing him an injury. "Smack my ass!" he cries, which Malaysia does, sending Mr. Dick on his way. The Human Hard On slides into the ring and goes to freaking town on the ring canvas causing the ring to shake uncomfortably, at least for Buffer and referee Chioda. Meanwhile, Malaysia climb the ring steps, cracking her cat o'nine tails against the steel. That seems to wake up Mr. Dick from his dry humping session, eyeing Malaysia as she enters. COLE Even I have to admit, Mr. Dick and Malaysia have to be considered favourites tonight after their showing last week against former HI-YAH Tag Team Champions The Love Doctors. COACH Mr. Dick has been on point for months now. He's been kicking Krista's ass like few others before him, he was the last man standing for his team at November Reign, inducted into The Deadly Alliance. Mr. Dick is on a roll and I don't see it stopping anytime soon. Mark my words, 2009 will be the year of the dick! "Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name" The lights flash purple and often as "When I Grow Up" by The Pussycat Dolls hits. Jogging out from the back comes Jade Rodez-Duncan, all smiles as she waves to the fans. Even a glare from Malaysia and the threats of Mr. Dick can't seem to shake her too much tonight. She stops as she reaches the ring, electing not to enter the ring. Instead, she points to the stage, just as "Rock The Casbah" strikes out. The crowd erupt as Leon Rodez sweeps his black and purple cape through the entrance and throws a single finger to the skies. BUFFER And introducing their opponents! First, now residing in Los Angeles, California. She is the reigning OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION... "LITTLE MISS CALIFORNIA"... JJJJAAAAAAAADDEEEEEE RRROOOOOODDEEEEEZZZZ - DDUUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAANN!!!! And her tag team partner! Still residing in Detroit, Michigan and weighing two hundred, eighteen pounds... he is the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLLEEEEEEOOOOOOOONN... RRRRROOOOOOOOOODDEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" It soon becomes clear why Jade is feeling a little more confident than usual tonight, as her... *double checks*... uncle pats her on the back and defends her against the verbal abuse from Mr. Dick. The Rodezes hit the ring together, Leon and Mr. Dick having a little 'téte a téte', while Jade climbs the turnbuckles and raises her Women's Title over her head. Malaysia looks on with a scowl. COLE It's a Rodez family reunion here on HeldDOWN~! And what a golden reunion it is! Jade steps off the turnbuckles and backs away as Malaysia makes a move towards her, quickly stopped by referee Chioda. He sets about getting some order and more importantly getting the right participants in so the match can start. COLE Well this should be most interesting. A lot of history between the respective teams, not to mention associates of the teams. Leon's been at odds with The Deadly Alliance for some time, Mr. Dick and Krista have been at war for months and last week The Human Hard On put a sneak attack on Tyler Bryant, team-mate of Leon and managed on-off by Jade. COACH Not to mention Leon's 'track record' with the Nerdly family. With Malaysia starting for her team, it's down to Jade for the Rodez family. Leon psyches his niece up as he steps to the apron and quickly gets the crowd going for a little further encouragement. "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" COLE Malaysia has made the bold move to leave the Women's Division temporarily, in order to join forces with Mr. Dick in the Anderson Cup. Hence why she will not be involved in the New Year's Knockout Match at the New Year's Spectacular. But Malaysia still has personal issues with the Women's Champion after being defeated at November Reign in that California Street Fight. *DINGDINGDING!* Fueled by confidence Jade decides to lock-up with Malaysia and gets shoved to the mat for her troubles! Jade starts to shuffle backwards to get space to regain her feet but Malaysia steps on her ankle and pins her down. Jade kicks out with her other foot though, catching Malaysia in the gut. That allows Jade to get up and hit the ropes, coming back with a clothesline. But Malaysia doesn't go down. Jade tries again, staggering Malaysia a little but still not putting her down. She tries a third time and this time Malaysia reacts, but Jade ducks her clothesline and dropkicks the dominant Nerdly on the turn. COLE Give Jade credit, she's taking the fight right to Malaysia. Clearly gaining confidence from her November Reign victory. Malaysia stumbles back into a neutral corner and Jade stays on her. The Women's Champion lands with a forearm. A second. And a third. She then grabs the wrist, looking for an irish whip. Too strong, Malaysia reverses the momentum and it's Jade who hits the turnbuckles in the opposite corner. However Malaysia takes too long savouring the moment and misses with a body splash attempt. Hitting the turnbuckles, Malaysia falls backwards into a sunset pin... 1... 2... No! Finding herself backed in the corner, Jade lures Malaysia in and kicks up both feet to block her off. Jade then goes to the middle rope and takes off... ...but gets CAUGHT, in a two-handed choke!! COLE What POWER! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FI..." Malaysia lets Jade fall to the mat, the referee warning her before fielding the complaints from Leon. COACH Jade better thank her lucky stars Malaysia ain't after her title no more. Okay, she got lucky at November Reign, but sooner or later Jade's gonna get what's coming to her from Malaysia. COLE I've heard you say that before. More than once. Still waiting. COACH Just keep watching Michael. Picking Jade up, Malaysia delivers a scoop slam then drops a leg. Lateral press... 1... 2... No! Jade sits up and Malaysia lies in wait, grabbing two handfuls of hair. As she sets to pull at the roots though, Malaysia gets caught with two feet to the chest! Rolling back a second time Jade gets into a wheelbarrow position and pushes off the mat, dropping with a Bulldog! "YYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!" Quickly scrambling to the corner Jade gets the tag to Uncle Leon. A big cheer goes up for the World Champ as he steps in and squares up against one Nerdly sister he's not so familiar with. COLE Now I don't think this is how it's supposed to work. Guys versus guys and girls versus girls is how I understand this match to be set up. COACH Malaysia don't need that. That's just to protect little Jade, who's Mommy can destroy any guy's career in five minutes but doesn't have any experience with grappling with men herself, if ya know what I mean. Malaysia seems happy to stay in the ring and fight, but Mr. Dick is adamant that he wants in. He yells at Malaysia to give him the tag, which doesn't seem to go down well. MR. DICK C'mon, tag me already! MALAYSIA No. MR. DICK Lemme in, I want him. MALAYSIA NO! He's MINE! Sighing, Mr. Dick reaches out and grabs his tag team partner by the hair! The violent display seems to work as Malaysia grins and rubs her hand down his torso (and lower), before 'tagging' him with a firm slap to the chest. Mr. Dick steps in and the couple share a lusting look before Malaysia steps to the apron, with a slap in the ass to remember her man by. All the while, Leon just looks on intrigued. COLE Eventually, Mr. Dick is in and set to square off against the World Champion, having already set his marker down for a shot at the gold. COACH Yeah him and about 88 others. With a typical swagger Mr. Dick gets right up in the face of the World Champion and jaws away. Leon still seems more interesting in his method of 'tagging' with Malaysia though and points out the handprint on The Human Hard On's chest. Not in the mood to swap stories of Nerdly conquests, a handprint is laid on Leon courtesy of a Mr. Dick SLAP! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Leon rubs his cheek and cheekily asks if this is Mr. Dick's way of coming onto him. Growling, Mr. Dick throws a more manly right hand, but Leon blocks and fires one of his own! Another block and another punch! Leon then goes to town with a flurry of rights, until Mr. Dick cuts him off with a knee to the midsection. With a club to the back Mr. Dick puts Leon down to a knee and puts on the badmouth before hitting the ropes. Stiff Kick is ducked though, the off-balance Human Hard On put on his back courtesy of a back legsweep. Leon now hits the ropes, Mr. Dick turning over to try and trip Leon up. Up and over goes the Champ, coming off the other side. Mr. Dick is waiting though, gorilla pressing Rodez over his head... ...and losing control of him in mid-air! Landing on his feet behind Mr. Dick, Leon sends him on his way with a firm shove in the back. As Mr. Dick rebounds Leon drops down, forcing the Texan up and over. A leapfrog follows, setting Mr. Dick up for a hiptoss, which Dick blocks and reverses into one of his own... but Leon twists in mid-air and lands on his feet! Leon quickly pulls out a drop toehold, putting Mr. Dick throat-first across the middle rope! COLE Uh-oh. Summoning the crowd, Leon does THE JIG~! He then hits the ropes, shooting back... ...INTO A STIFF KICK!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Quick cover by Mr. Dick... 1... 2... No! After a glare at the referee, Mr. Dick mounts Leon and fires away with piston like right hands! COLE Look at the intensity of Mr. Dick. Like a crazed animal! COACH Well he's got a point to prove. If he can knock Rodez off tonight, he's in the immediate running for the World Title. Stomping back up Mr. Dick lives up to his name again by mouthing off to Jade, before running over and stomping Leon in the head. As the crowd begin to rally, Mr. Dick then taunts them with some more crotch-cupping, before giving them an up-yours. "WE HATE DICK!" "WE HATE DICK!" "WE HATE DICK!" "WE HATE DICK!" COACH I notice you ain't joining in Cole. Go figure. Scoop and a slam sets Leon up, as Mr. Dick comes off the ropes with a big legdrop. He then makes a lateral press, staring at Jade as he dry-humps through the count... 1... QUICK kickout from Leon, who rolls away and looks incredibly creeped out at the contact he just experienced. Mr. Dick stays on him with another couple of kicks to the head. He then hangs Leon up across the middle rope and forces a knee in the back. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" With no break, referee Chioda takes matters into his own hands and pulls Mr. Dick off of Rodez. COACH Hey, easy with the hands there ref! Those abs aren't for general consumption ya know! COLE What the hell does that mean? COACH It means that unlike you Mr. Dick's kinda picky about who touches his naked chest and who doesn't. Mr. Dick shows his contempt for the referee by back-chatting him as he warns him about breaking the count, then arrogantly brushes past him. Picking Leon back up, Mr. Dick clubs him across the chest. Irish whip sends him off the ropes, The Human Hard On this time scoring with a Powerslam. 1... 2... No! From the corner Malaysia demands a tag, but Mr. Dick doesn't bite. Instead he nails Leon a couple more times, before taking hold of his wrist and teasing Jade, daring her to tag herself in and save her uncle. COLE What a dick. COACH Duh. Leon doesn't need Jade's help though, firing an elbow back and catching Mr. Dick, perhaps a little low. MR. DICK Yeah, I'd say a little low. COACH Oh no! DQ ref! COLE I think that was accidental, Coach. COACH Accidental my eye! I know it's a big target, but come on! With Mr. Dick doubled up, Leon gets back to his feet and tees off with right hands. Mr. Dick rocks back on his heels and Leon comes off the ropes, tucking and rolling with the Shack Attack! Bouncing back up off the mat Mr. Dick suddenly looks a little punch drunk and swings wildly, Leon ducking the shot and delivering an inverted atomic drop on Mr. Dick's pride and joy! COACH Not again! Most people attack the brain, Leon knows full well that's where the main blood supply lies! Backing off the ropes again Leon comes charging... and gets intercepted with a high impact clothesline, causing Jade to cringe out on the apron! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Malaysia continues to demand the tag as Mr. Dick limps back up. Checking to see if there's a crack in his personal Liberty Bell, The Real American Dick wanders over towards Malaysia. MALAYSIA Tag me. MR. DICK No way, I've got this. MALAYSIA TAG... ME! MR. DICK Nuh-uh, that's the World Champ! Offended at the suggestion she couldn't hold her own against a man, even the World Champion, Malaysia quickly takes a FIRM hold of Mr. Dick! MR. DICK OKAY, OKAY! Mr. Dick gives Malaysia the tag she demands and she steps in, eventually letting her man go. A breathless Mr. Dick very carefully steps out through the ropes. Meanwhile, Malaysia strides over to Leon who has gotten to his knees. Malaysia grabs a hold of his hair, glaring down at him before delivering a clubbing strike between the shoulder blades! COACH The scourge of the Nerdly family just found out his limit. Malaysia delivers another clubbing strike on the World Champion. LEON Ow... damn, are all you Nerdly girls this rough? Leon's quip earns him a choking from the strict disciplinarian! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIV..." As she lets Leon go, Malaysia suddenly takes a swipe at Jade which causes her to fall from the ring apron. The crowd boo, not loudly enough to drown out the hysterical laughter of Mr. Dick as he yucks it up at poor Jade's expence. COLE That's just uncalled for. Mr. Dick is so busy laughing, he almost doesn't notice Malaysia offering him a tag. He accepts and together the power couple take a hold of Leon and deliver a Double Gutbuster. Mr. Dick goes for a cover, but Malaysia isn't done with her man yet and drags him back up into a lust filled kiss. COACH Come Michael, admit it, you'd give anything to be on the other end of that hot-ass action! COLE Are you kidding? Malaysia would snap a guy like me in half! COACH So would Mr. Dick, but that's another story. Lost in the throws of passion, Mr. Dick and Malaysia fail to notice Leon recovering and getting to his feet. After the lip biting is done with Malaysia and Mr. Dick back away from each other, still eyeing each other up. Mr. Dick is soon paying though, as when he turns around he falls victim to an Exploder Suplex! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Both men remain down and sucking wind as the count is laid upon them. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" With the crowd willing him on, Leon fights to his feet at the count of "7", at the same time as Mr. Dick. The Human Hard On throws with a Texas sized right hand, but Leon blocks and fires right back! Mr. Dick tries again, but another block and another punch awaits him. Teeing off, Leon backs Mr. Dick up against the ropes and looks for the whip, only to get reversed. The World Champ hangs onto the top rope to stop himself from rebounding though, frustrating Mr. Dick into a wild charge and a drop toehold. COLE Are we going to see it this time? Doing THE JIG~!, Leon runs the ropes... and comes to an abrupt halt as Malaysia stands waiting to strike from the apron. COACH Don't even try to seduce your way outta this one pal. This is one Nerdly who ain't gonna fall for your charms! Leon doesn't need to do anything as it turns out. Running around the ring, Jade grabs a hold of Malaysia's ankle and drags her off the apron, causing her to faceplant off the arena floor!! The crowd erupt as Jade kneels down and starts wailing away at Malaysia with clubbing blows. Momentarily distracted by his niece's intense attack, Leon turns around to find Mr. Dick running his way. He ducks a clothesline and catches hold of Mr. Dick to deliver the Blue Thunder Bomb! COLE It's Da Boom! 1... 2... NO! Quickly up, Leon meets Mr. Dick on his way back up with a couple more right hands. An irish whip then sends Mr. Dick into the turnbuckles. Backing into the opposite corner Rodez raises a finger to the skies, charging in and soaring with the SUPERMAN SPEAR!! Mr. Dick's rockhard abs take the brunt and he staggers out of the corner winded, as Leon follows up off the ropes with the Shack Attack! Cover... 1... 2... NO!! Mr. Dick is reeling now and as he gets back up, Leon trips him and hooks the legs for the LIONTAMER! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE He's gonna put it on him! Will we see Mr. Dick submit here tonight? COACH Mr. Dick is many things, but submissive ain't one of them! Before he can get turned Mr. Dick scrambles backwards and grabs onto the bottom rope, forcing the break. On the outside, the tables are turned and Jade is splattered off the ringside mats thanks to Malaysia's legsweep. Malaysia then lies in wait, watching as her BIG squeeze pulls himself up on the ropes. Having been backed up, Leon passes the referee and goes to grab a hold on Mr. Dick... ...AND GETS PUNTED BETWEEN THE LEGS!! COLE COME ON! *DINGDINGDING!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The cheap disqualification doesn't go down well, as Mr. Dick pounces and puts the boots to Leon despite the bell having rung. COACH Another time, another Dicktim. It's like victim, only it's Mr. Dic... look, just enjoy, okay. Now it's out there it'll catch on in it's own time. Mr. Dick continues to stomp away, while Malaysia picks Jade back up and dumps her into the ring. Referee Chioda is powerless to help, especially after he's laid out by a DISCUS PUNCH! Leon is subjected to some more stomps, as Malaysia heads to the corner of the ring and grabs her cat o'nine tails. COLE Come on already! These two are animals, after all the damage they've done tonight what in the hell have they got planned now!? "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" We'll never find out, as before Malaysia can so much as get her whip uncracked out rush TYLER BRYANT and KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN!! Krista dives in weilding the chair she was seen tied to earlier and jabs at Malaysia like a circus performer trying to keep a lion at bay. Unlike a lion, Malaysia has the good sense to leave the ring before getting one of her eyeballs jabbed out, no matter how kinky that might be. Tyler takes the fight to Mr. As Malaysia and Mr. Dick retreat, Tyler and Leon help Jade up, Krista leaning over the ropes and yelling "YOU DIDN'T FINISH ME OFF" to Malaysia, of which we can only speculate what she actually means. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here the referee's decision. He has awarded the match as a result of a disqualification to the team of JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN and LEEEEOOOONN... RRROOOOODDEEEEEZZZZZ!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Muted celebrations are the order of the day as Leon, Jade, Tyler and Krista all glare at Mr. Dick and Malaysia from the ring. The power couple are far enough way to start making threats now and warn the foursome that they're in big trouble. COLE Thank goodness for Tyler and Krista! And thank goodness for whoever untied Krista in the first place! Mr. Dick and Malaysia continue to run roughshot across the OAOAST but they have bitten off way more than they could chew... COACH I dunno, Malaysia ca... COLE ...and I meant that figuratively, of course. Folks, we'll see you next week, where hopefully Mr. Dick and Malaysia will get what's coming to them! COACH Do you mean figuratively, or were you talking about them sucki... COLE GOODNIGHT EVERYONE! -FADE OUT-

PRESENTED IN HD FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- From the entrance video we make our way into the sold out Pepsi Center and down to the Holiday decorated Sofa Central. A wealth of presents now lie under the Christmas tree and the menorah shimmers brightly with its lovely neon lights. A bowl of egg nog is placed on the table to make sure our announce team keeps themselves as intoxicated and offensive as they can. COLE Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to OAOAST HeldDOWN~! The holiday season may be in full swing, but our superstars aren’t in much of a cheerful mood. That goes especially for The Deadly Alliance’s Mister Dick who has promised to send messages not only to Leon Rodez in tonight’s tag team mainevent but also to several other superstars tonight! COACH Mister Dick droppin them seasons beatins on Rodez is a dream come to life. My biggest one next to Angelina Jolie bathing in some KFC chicken grease. COLE It is good chicken. COACH It some great chicken! Patty-kfc snackers>life “Protect Your Mind” by DJ Sakin & Friends hits and the Last Kings of Scotland march ringside. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. introducing first, Europe’s finest athletes… DANNY BOY and “THE BRAVEHEART” SCOTTISH SCOTT… THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Fans in the front row get an unexpected scare as The Braveheart swings his spiked club their direction. COLE Watch out, folks! COACH If anybody needs to watch out, it’s the Beverly Hills Blonds. They’re living on borrowed time. Don’t think for one second Teddy Moneymaker will let what happened to him go unpunished. “Superstar” by Lupe Fiasco plays as the Beverly Hills Blonds, Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard, walk the red carpet amid flashes of bright lights while loyal assistant and aspiring director Molly Nerdly films them on the Siclopse. BUFFER And their opponents, led to the ring by MOLLY NERDLY... “BOX-OFFICE” SIMON SINGLETON and “THE HANDSOME HUSTLER” NED BLANCHARD... THE BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDSSSSS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" In the unaccustomed role of fan favorites, the BHB leave Molly to do the baby face thing, which is cutaways to the crowd in between filming Simon and Ned’s entrance. COLE This crowd is going crazy! COACH And you’d have to be crazy to support a couple of ingrates like the Beverly Hills Blonds. They had it all under the Enterprise, Cole -- tailored suits, chauffeured cars, fine hotels and big cigars. Now what do they have, crowd support? Like that’s going to do them any good in the ring. The Last Kings of Scotland launch a surprise attack on the Blonds as they‘re removing their vests, but as former rule breakers they know every dirty trick in the book and escape harm’s way. * DINGDINGDING * The bell sounds but the action is already underway. The BHB getting the better end of an exchange with the Last Kings, firing them off for a pair of BAAAAAAAAACK body drops! COLE Outside the Last Kings of Scotland go, to formulate a new plan of attack no doubt because the first one failed. COACH Hey, you know what they say -- if at first you don’t succeed...try, try again. And indeed the Last Kings do, as Scottish Scott and Simon Singleton lockup. Side headlock applied by The Braveheart who is shot into the ropes, decking B.O.S.S. with a shoulder block on the rebound. The Video Voyeur rolls onto his stomach as Scott charges off the near side, then leapfrogs and executes a hip toss. Taken over in a headlock Scottish Scott scissors Simon’s head and bridges up when B.O.S.S. floats on top, viciously smashing his knee into the face of Simon Singleton before delivering a double underhook suplex! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! The LKOS tag and Danny Boy drops an elbow, but nobody’s home! Simon wrings the arm and tags Ned, who kicks the Irishman in the gut. Rammed into the buckle DB is stomped repeatedly in the corner, and then fired across for a back elbow. POINTY~! elbow off the near side and Blanchard makes the cover. ONE! TWO! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Ned moves and Scottish Scott knee drops his own partner! SCOTTISH SCOTT The BHB premiere a brand new double-team maneuver as Ned lifts Scott up for a back suplex and falls back after Simon hits a spinning heel kick! COACH I’ll say this about the Blonds: they haven’t become angels all of a sudden. They’re still cheating bastards. Simon dumps Scott outside and waits for the tag. Ol’ Danny Boy takes a SLINGSHOT SUPLEX for good measure, which is followed by THE ATOMIC BLONDE~!!! COLE They’ve gone and dropped the bomb. You can put this one in the books. The Blonds successful in their first HeldDOWN~! appearance since quitting the Enterprise 3 weeks ago. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match… “BOX-OFFICE” SIMON SINGLETON and NED BLANCHARD... THE BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDSSSSS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Hands raised in victory Simon and Ned’s celebration is cut short when they notice a familiar face ringside. THEODORE MONEYMAKER. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE What business does he have out here? COACH Unfinished I’d say. Suddenly DETECTIVE TANGO BOSLEY and CPA blindside the BHB. Theodore Moneymaker’s hired guns do a number on their former associates. CPA with his bare hands, Bosley with his telescopic nightstick. Then to everyone’s surprise, Molly jumps on the back of CPA. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COLE You go, girl! Rip his eyes out! It’s not long before Molly finds herself on her back. Detective Bosley ready to strike until Moneymaker orders him to halt. He summons the Alpha Male of the Group and whispers something that makes him a very happy boy. Molly pleads for mercy as CPA drags her over to Theodore by the hair. Face to face with her former employer Molly is forced to bow in servitude and kiss the ring of Theodore Moneymaker, as are the unconscious Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard. COLE This is disgusting! COACH You’re wrong, Cole. This is a message being sent to the Blonds and everyone else. You don’t mess with Theodore Moneymaker. Moneymaker produces a pair of documents and stuffs them down the throat of the BHB. Adding insult to injury Detective Bosley impounds the Siclopse. MOLLY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! THEODORE COLE Damn them! Damn them all to hell! There’s no reason for this, damnit! COACH No reason?! I’ll give you plenty of reason. Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard committed treason when they renounced their Enterprise membership and joined the Dream Team at November Reign. Theodore Moneymaker was ought justice and Detective Bosley and CPA served it up. LATER TONIGHT DA (EX) CHAMP IS HERE THA PUERTO RICAN SPEAKS FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE LOSING HIS WORLD HEAYWEIGHT TITLE TONIGHT! COMMERCIAL

ThIs MoMeNt InTeRrUPtEd dUe tO SHeEr BoRedoM- -The screen jumps from the title, to a rather overweight man tied to a chair. He wears a Zack Malibu t-shirt, a PRL beanie, and a Leon Rodez zip up sweatshirt. VOICE Tell them your naaaame. MAN B-B-Bill... VOICE (mocking) "BUH BUH BILL?" Is that your name? Buh Buh Bill? BILL N-No, it's j-just Bi-Bill. VOICE So...Bill...you're a fan of the OAOAST, corrrrect? BILL Y-Yes. VOICE And whoooo are your faaaaavorites? BILL L-Leon R-R-Rodez....Z-Zack Malibu...P-P-PRL... VOICE So you like who the OAOAST TELLLLLLS you to like? BILL ....I like them because they st-stand up for what they b-b-believe in...and they don't take any g-guff from guys like you... VOICE ....Are you serious? -Bill grows silent. A look of defiance creeps onto his face, as if he is actually being protected right then and there by his favorites. VOICE (yelling) ARE. YOU. SERIOUS?! -The defiant look dies as Bill trembles, now shook to the bone. The camera suddenly spins to show the man behind the camera.... RAGDOLL!~ RAGDOLL See...THIS is how CRAAAAZY this company and it's bland, emotionless product has made me! I have nothing else to do!! I want to compete, but I-I-I can't! I simply can't!! GIVE ME SOMETHING!!...I'm stuck doing things like THIS!! -Ragdoll suddenly places the camera on a table, pointing the lens at Bill. Ragdoll walks out of frame...and reappears, running full steam at Bill! Bill yells, just as Ragdoll leaps....DEVIL DOLL!!~ Bill topples backwards as Ragdoll falls with him, but quickly scrambles towards the camera, which he grabs and lifts, before turning and sitting, camera facing him. RAGDOLL ...Oh, and every day you that you ignore my requests, people will get Devil Dolled. I'm a man of my woooooord. -The camera suddenly switches off -We NoW tAke YoU BAcK To YoUr MiSeRAbLe LiVeS -Ragdoll suddenly hands the camera off COMING UP NEXT THE NOT SO BORING MAINEVENT! LEON RODEZ AND JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN VS MALAYSIA AND MISTER DICK NEXT!

COLE The topic on everyone's lips right now is the new World Heavyweight Champion, Leon Rodez. Let's get more thoughts from those looking to get first crack at the gold. COLE Our HeldDOWN~! main event tonight, an OAOAST first, a professional wrestling first, uncle and niece World Champions team together. Right now Josh Matthews is standing by with Jade and Leon, take it away Josh. Back we go to the state of the art HeldDOWN~! interview lounge! Moving up in the world from a cold corridor with a projector and some orange lights being shone onto a piece of tarp are World Champion and Women's Champion, Leon and Jade, both with cheerful smiles on their faces as they stand displaying their respective belts over their shoulders. JOSH Thanks Michael. Leon, Jade, history will be made here tonight when you team together in our main event. But I'm sure from your perspective, history has already been made for your family. The Women's Championship and the World Championship, the Rodez family are officially the best in the world. Leon gives his niece a nudge. LEON You want me to do the talking? JADE Uhm, sure, if you want. LEON Thank heavens. You know Josh, you're right on the money. I'm sure you're going to suffer a heavy, painful price for not considering Jade a member of the Duncan family above the Rodez family, but while you're being emmasculated by a sharp high-heeled shoe you can at least look back and think 'I was just trying to create a good story'. Because it is a good story. The Rodez family, riding high on top of the OAOAST. It's not been so much a year of ups and downs as it has a year of downs and ups. We've been through hell and we've come out the other end. And without getting too sappy, tonight it's going to mean a hell of a lot to me after all that's happened to be out there with Jade as a tag team. JADE It's gonna mean a lot to me as well. The whole reason I came to the OAOAST was to be with my big brother. Or, uncle, whatever. The whole reason I started to wrestle in the first place was to be like Leon. Tonight, I am like Leon. And I couldn't be prouder. Tonight it's about the special times I've shared with Leon and it's about the Rodez blood inside me. Hopefully tonight will go a long way to make up for the bad times we've gone through recently. LEON That's sweet, but I thought we agreed I was gonna do the talking? Jade sneers playfully. JOSH Sentiment aside, your opponents tonight will be looking to ruin your feel-good moment. Mr. Dick and Malaysia, who last week picked up a victory over The Love Doctors and are heading for the Anderson Cup and earlier tonight, inflicted a vicious attack on former World Champion Tha Puerto Rican. LEON Yeah, 'Mr. Dick' seems to be on quite the rampage lately, doesn't he? Look, nobody's saying that Mr. Dick and Malaysia aren't a more intimidating prospect on paper than me and Jade. Like you said, they beat The Love Doctors. They'd be a match for any team right now, intergender or otherwise. But pick it apart and there's plenty for us to be confident about. First off, we've got the belts. Plus, I've beaten Mr. Dick before. And Jade's quite clearly got Malaysia's number and will have no problems beating her again tonight. JADE Uh... yeah, I... I guess so. LEON Exactly! THAT'S the kinda confidence this family runs on! And it's that confidence, or possibly just my confidence and whatever Jade can summon up, that's gonna carry us through tonight. Not because we're bigger. Not because we're badder. But because we're the champions, my friend. #And we'll keep on fighting 'till the eeeend# JADE Oh Lord. LEON #Ohhhhh, we are the champions#, c'mon Jade, #we are the champions, no time for sexual fetishes# LEON/JADE #'cause we are the champions#... JADE #OF THE WORRRR....# Left hanging, Jade stops and looks suitably embarrassed at her less than melodious singing. Leon snickers as he scoots off, leaving Jade standing for a few seconds before she quickly disappears.

We go backstage where MAGGIE NERDLY is with…. TYLER BRYANT damn this picture stuff is killah. All dudes should hop on this bandwagon! Its even better cause I only pick good lookin dudes and gals. SMH@the economy getting the interview lounge shutdown. Niggas can’t even afford an air hockey table no more? MAGGIE What it is, world! It Girl On The Scene Maggie Nerdly chillin backstage with Tyler Bryant. Used to be I’d drill you with a right cross, but because you’ve been spending less and less time with that scumbag Leon and more and more with someone I actually like, Krista, you’re no longer on my shit list. Nice job. So, last week you got laid out by Mister Dick. The Human Hard On sent a message to the Puerto Rican tonight, do you wanna send any messages to Mister Dick? TYLER Mister Dick, you’ve got a lot of nicknames. Human Hard On. Cocky Prick. Dickzilla. Real American Dick. In my humble opinion, you oughta take a clue from Billy Gunn and dub yourself Mister Ass because I think you’re an asshole! MAGGIE Burned him. TYLER You like that? Thought of it myself. MAGGIE Zack Malibu ain’t got nothing on you, boy. But, get back to Mister Dick. TYLER Sure thing. The OAOAST is kind of like a game of chess. MAGGIE I said talk about Mister Dick not damn Chinese Checkers. TYLER I’m getting there, Maggie. Can’t I set it up with a cool analogy? MAGGIE Not when I have to pee! TYLER Oh. Sorry. I guess I’ll skip it then. It was pretty good. MAGGIE Throw it up on your Facebook then. TYLER I had to take mine offline for a bit. That fat girl that lives a few doors down from Shayne and I’s apartment, she started lighting up my FB with messages like the two of us are hookin up! Since when does “Leave me be!” as a response to “What’s up, cutie with the nice booty” equal “Show up at my door naked at 2 am”? She’s face book cock blocking me from the real action. MAGGIE Man, that sucks. You know what else sucks? Me still having to pee. Hurry up! TYLER Sorry, sorry. Mister Dick, I know exactly why you came after me last week. You can’t beat Krista, no one can, because she’s the greatest. In order to hurt her, you have to target those people she cares about. And Krista cares about me! Sometimes she insults me without realizing, sometimes she slaps me when she mistakes me for Terry and sometimes she leaves me in the car with the window rolled up and accidently takes her dog to Target instead, but she does care about me. You’ll hurt anyone you can to get at her probably. Jade, Alix, Maya, anyone. No more! It stops now! You’ll never get to Krista because you won’t get through me. Krista told me to go after people who deserve to be gone after and I can’t think of anyone more deserving than you. That means you and I are gonna go at it one on one at New Years Spectacular. And I will take you down, and I will take you out! MAGGIE Wow, son! You got Mister Dick at NYS? Not only are you gonna have Krista rooting for you, but you’re gonna have Tha Puerto Rican and all his Lightening Bolts on your side also. MALAYSIA (O.S.) Ohhhhhh Tyler. Tyler and Maggie turn to the TV monitor where Malaysia’s voice seems to be coming from. MALAYSIA(O.S.) That kind of talk. That kind of tough, manly….hmmm…violent talk, god does it turn me on! It gets me in the mood, Tyler! It gets me in the mood to do something like this. In a darkened janitor’s closet which looks almost as vile as Malaysia’s real dungeon in Edmonton Krista finds herself hopelessly strapped to a chair and gagged by a pair of Malaysia’s panties. She yanks at her chains, feeling frightened and vulnerable. Kneeling, Malaysia rubs her nose against Krista’s womanly area, inhaling her fragrance through her jeans. She kisses the area passionately as though it were her mouth. TYLER and Maggie MALAYSIA But, this? This gets me so wet. I’ve had lots of lovers…and lots of…victims. But I can’t remember the last time I ever had one so very pretty. There’s been so many girls and boys that have cried beneath my orgasmic pleasure but I’ve never been able to break one as proud and beautiful as this one. I can’t help myself. I didn’t want it to come to this. It was just supposed to be between Jock and her. But everything about her intoxicates me. Esquire magazine calls her the most beautiful woman in the world, and she is. To leave her out there for someone like me. Its like leaving a zebra in front of a starving lion. You might marvel at the grace and beauty of the zebra but all I want to do is tear it apart, hear it scream, hear it beg for mercy. I hear her sultry sexy voice and I just have to ram my juice soaked panties into her mouth. And even that's not enough. I want to lower my naked body onto her face, feel her salty tears and her salty tongue on my bare BUTT. I see her nice juicy ass and Ooooooooh I can’t stop thinking about her bent over my spanking table, crying as all my toys ravage that beautiful BUTT. Putting on my favorite strap on and pounding away at these buns of steel all night long. Watching those cheeks jiggle as she bounces up down that 9 inch piece of plastic. And these huge gigantic tits. What can I say about them? She smiles softly to herself as her eyes roam over Krista’s body drinking in its luscious beauty. She reaches down with one hand running her fingers over the top of the firm skin of Krista’s breasts before fondling it hard making her whimper. MALAYSIA Don’t tell me you’ve never thought of doing this, Tyler? She grasps Krista’s nipples through her shirt to pinch, pull and tweak them. Krista groaned her sensitive nipples felt sharp jolts of pain as Malaysia tormented them. MALAYSIA Beautiful aren't they? Everyone thinks they’re seeing the perfect Hollywood Princess, but all I see is a greedy, spoiled little slut that’s begging to be punished. You can have Mister Dick, Tyler, I’m gonna have her in a dildo on a pole match at New Years Spectacular. I'm going to break her will and make her mine. Miss high and mighty celebrity is going to be my nasty down and dirty slut. How do you think your body on all fours stuffed full of my toys is gonna look in Ok magazine? We'll find out! COMMERCIAL

Who used to get excited when your 'rents took you to McDonalds? Parents: We're going to mcdonalds tonight! Me: we eating there?!!! Parents: Yup Me: Can I play in the playplace?!! Parents: Of course * goes to jump on bed for 30 mins singing " mcdonaaaaaalds mcdonaaaaaaaalds" Now days, I'd rather roll myself in pig sperm than ever eat McDonalds, and SMH@ their horrible ads bein' a real life version of this, "what's them? announcer please school these sisters!"

FROM THE GOSSIP HEARD ON THE OAOAST HOT NEWZLINE, THIS IS AN ANDERSON CUP SHILL! Inside the Shill Center we go where OAOAST Original Tony Brannigan is position. BRANNIGAN This Anderson Cup shill is brought to you by OAOASTShop-dot-com, where until December 22 everything is 20% off, with selected items half price! Rush delivery is available so don’t leave the OAOAST Mark or Marks in your family disappointed this Christmas. Order right now! Among the items marked at 20% off for the holidays, this brand spanking new Heavenly Rockers t-shirt. Wear it with pride or use it to wash your car if you‘d prefer. BRANNIGAN Before we go any further, did you figure out the answer to last week’s trivia question? Which team won the inaugural Anderson Cup? I know because I was apart of the match! Yours truly and Dan Black, Black T, against our greatest rivals, Johnny Jax and Scotty Static, the Global Party Xchange. Zero Hour February 27, 2005 Courtesy: OAOAST Home Entertainment BRANNIGAN But there’s no guarantee winning the Anderson Cup equals tag title gold, as the previous four Cup champions have gone 2-2 in their AngleMania title bouts. It’s perhaps that bad taste in their mouths that Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright have decided to enter the 16 team tournament set for January 2009 yet again. They’ll look to become the first ever two-time Anderson Cup champions. After what the Billion Dollar Heir did to his former associates earlier tonight, you can bet the Beverly Hills Blonds hope to run into him and CW somewhere during the Cup. Joining them will be the flamboyant duo Wright and Moneymaker defeated in the 2007 Finals, Los Diablos de Fuego. Let’s hear from them right now. In the holiday spirit, Moracca sports a red and green poncho and a Santa hat with glittery red devil horns over his pink sombrero. Meanwhile, Mariachi stares seductively into the camera while sucking on the middle prong of his pitch fork. MORACCA Feliz Navidad, mi amigos! Christmas, Christmastime is here. Time for love and time for cheer! And we know all you great OAOAST Marks will be cheering us on in the Anderson Cup. 2009 is the year of hope and change. We hope to go all the way in the tournament and have the tag team titles change hands at AngleMania VIII. 2008 wasn’t our greatest year, but Los Diablos New Year’s resolution is to set 2009 en fuego! MARIACHI ¡Ole! We go back to Brannigan at the Shill Center. BRANNIGAN To recap, here again are the teams officially entered in the 2009 Anderson Cup. Mr. Dick & Malaysia The Beverly Hills Blonds Theodore Moneymaker & Christian Wright Los Diablos de Fuego BRANNIGAN As I said last week, this is shaping up to be the most unpredictable Anderson Cup in history. I remind you to stay tuned to the OAOAST television networks and our website for late breaking Hot Newz on the 2009 Anderson Cup which begins New Year’s night on our big annual New Year’s Spectacular. Until next time, I’m Tony Brannigan.

We return backstage, where the Deadly Alliance is laughing it up in their locker room. ALF Now THAT'S what I'm talking about. I admit, I had my doubts at first, but now, there's no question that Mr. Dick is Deadly Alliance material. Alf and Mr. Dick exchange high tens, and the Deadly Alliance resumes its celebration. Yeah, uh! Get up, now! Ow! Knock out this! Au! Super highways, coast to coast, easy to get anywhere On the transcontinental overload, just slide behind the wheel How does it feel When there's no destination - that's too far And somewhere on the way, you might find out who you are Ow! The now red white and blue entrance doors shred apart to giveway to the men who embody the great sprit of that color scheme, The All American Boys. Blue pyro rockets launch into from the entrance stage and red pyro sparklers flare on the video screen behind them. Inside this 4th of July Worthy Display, The All American Boys wave old glory with pride. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of fifteen minutes! Now making their way to the ring, from The Hearts of The American People, they are Freedom and Liberty, the All American Boys! RAGDOLL (O.S.) Mmmmm… COLE Huh? Just as confused as Buffer and the audience, Freedom and Liberty end their customary handshaking routine to look up at Ragdoll on the video screen. He stands outside in the shivering cold, holding his head down in disgust. RAGDOLL No, no, noooooo. That intRO is WRONG. Its WRONG…very wrong, very wrong. I don’t mean to yell at you. That’s not…polite is it? But do it with feeling. Please These men….deserve it. Don’t they? BUFFER Now making… RAGDOLL With feeling. BUFFER NOW MAKING THEIR WAY TO THE RING FROM THE HEARTS AND SOUL OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE…FREEDOM AND LIBERTY THE ALL AMERICAN BOOOOOOYS! RAGDOLL And there we go. Th…Thank you Mister Buffer mmmmm you’ve made this a much more enjoyable program. Ragdoll bows a farewell to the still shocked audience, while Buffer chews out a nearby camera man for being told how to do the job he’s been deemed a legend at. The All American Boys, however, keep their focus on the upcoming contest, stretching out and discussing strategy. COLE Ragdoll said he was going to add some chaos to the program. Who would’ve thought he’d do it so soon? COACH Who would’ve thought he’d tell the best in the business how to do his job? Is he gonna tell Hebner how to administer a three count next? "Easy lover She'll get a hold on you believe it Like no other Before you know it you'll be on your knees" The lovin is easy when you got "Easy Lover" by Phil Collins playing through the arena! Unfortunately the fans are not soothed by classic hits of two decades past off thumbs down to the soon to be arriving team. The entrance doors sweep apart and through them glides the hairy and sleazy, Rico De Janerio, already twirling his Mardi Gras beads to find some babe willing to trade her top for them. Lucius Soul is minus his usual fro picking swagger and simply walks directly to the ring without any hints of emotion. BUFFER And their opponents at at a total combined weight of four hundred, thirteen pounds... the team of RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL... they are, THE MARDI GRAS HOMEWRECKING CREWii Perhaps willfully ignorant to his partner’s dour mood, Rico eyes up the ladies at rampside, clearly liking what he sees. Sadly for him they don’t like what they see at all and usher him away with crude insults. COLE Lucius Soul doesn’t look the same as we usually see him. This might have something to do with the conversation we saw on Syndicated where he wondered how his life would be like without Rico. COACH I think about stabbing you with an ice pick everyday of my life, but I ain’t putting plans out there all crazy like that. You gotta keep things a little bit more hush-hush than that. Soul marches up the stairs onto the apron and plainly points Rico into the ring. The churlish command doesn’t much bother Rico as he faces down his foes. DING DING DING The sound of the bell doesn’t move either competitor towards action. Rico stands in his corner massaging his thin chest hair, while Freedom tries to rally the audience with good old fashioned hand clapping. Once the fanbase gets behind the patriot, he feels emboldened enough to meet De Janerio for a lockup. His bravery may have been a shade misguided, though, as the Brazillian overpowers him into an armwrench. Cranking and torquing on his foes’ limb, he laughs cruelly at the pain he inflicts. Freedom tries to make an escape, but has little luck with Rico driving his elbow into his forearm. “DEPORT RICO! DEPORT RICO! DEPORT RICO!” the audience sings as Rico continues to plant his elbow into his foes’ arm. Each hit comes accompanied with tremendous screams from the pained brawler. COACH Disgustin! You think our boys in Iraq is screamin like some sissies when ol sandhead Aladdins be poppin off from a rocket launcher? No. They catch that rocket and throw it right back at Commander Abu Dabbi. These boys ain’t American at all. Having beaten Freedom to the ground, Rico has an easy time of inflicting even more damage upon his rival. He holds onto his wrist with one hand, and presses down on his shoulder with the other while his knee tries to snap Freedom’s arm in two. In the corner Liberty tries to lend encouragement to his partner, but Rico’s constant spitting at him makes this an all to hard task. COLE The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew are pretty much assured a spot in the Anderson Cup. The All American Boys aren’t guanrteed anything but tonight’s paycheck, but this match would be a great time to prove their worth to the matchmaking committee headed up by Jesse Ventura and Tony Brannigan. Rico takes a thick clump off Freedom’s hair, and with his arm lock still held tight, leads the patriot off his feet. He twists his arm very slowly before finally snapping it down with super speed. Though he intended to break the limb apart, his plan goes awry and Freedom reverses the hold! Now given a taste of his own medicine, De Janerio hollers out in agony and begs Soul to assist him. But The Smooth Soul brother isn’t motivated towards movement, and Rico is left to suffer at the hands of a vengeful foe. COACH Who’s to say the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew will even be around when the Anderson Cup starts? If you listen to Soul, he’s got Leon’s world title in his future! Soul’s lethargy and Rico’s inability to escape greatly aids Freedom in dragging his whimpering foe over to the AAB corner to make the tag with Liberty. The All American scales to the top rope and then flies off to strike Rico right in his injured arm! As the audience pops for his misfortune, the South American grits his teeth in frustration and agony and complains to referee Earl Hebner about questionable double teaming. COLE Rico not getting any superstar treatment on HeldDOWN tonight. COACH So you admit the referees play favorites? COLE I admit that sometimes a performer like Alfdogg or Ragdoll may get some leeway from the referees. I will not admit the referees are out to screw everyone of your favorites. An irish whip by Liberty is reversed by Rico and the AAB is sent rushing into the ropes. The multi coloured cables spit him back into the Brazillian’s arms, and those powerful muscles throw him into the air with a back bodydrop! “WHO WANTS A MUSTACHE RIDE?” Rico hollers as Liberty’s body crashes into the ring mats. “BOOOOOOO!” The negative fan response fills De Janerio with annoyance and he tags out with Soul in order to stand on the apron and stew over the fans’ lack of appreciation for fine facial hair. While his partner is reduced to complaining about his mustache, Soul makes an impact on the match by snap marring Liberty to the ground. The AAB tries to make a quick return to his feet, but that’s made impossible by the Louisiana native hitting him with a spinning leg drop. Hebner counts the ensuing pinfall… ONE! TWO! Liberty pops his shoulder off the mat! COLE There’s no quit in America and there’s no quit in the All American Boys. COACH There’s no quit in America? We quit the League Of Nations shortly after World War One. COLE The Spanish Ambassador was fond of exposing himself on the house floor. We had no choice. Interesting to note that Spanish ambassador was related to Landon Maddix, and the Canadian ambassador who often cheered his genital exposing ways related to James Blonde. Liberty comes back to his feet but is immediately struck by a pair of swift kicks to his legs, that leave him on the verge of crumpling to the canvas. But he’s kept aloft by Soul, who grabs onto his head and rushes him to the corner. Soul’s plan is to run his rival head first into the turnbuckles, buts its an idea that meets with disaster as Liberty puts his red white and blue boot onto the second rope to stop him. The former pimp retries his effort, but his stubbornness is met with an elbow that puts him on the retreat towards the center of the ring. He takes a moment to clear out a few cobwebs and then makes a mad charge at Liberty. But he runs himself right into a hiptoss! Liberty watches Soul’s lanky body skid across the canvas with a contented smirk appearing across his face. Eager to let his partner in on the action, he makes a quick tag to Freedom. The AAB wows the audience beyond all belief with…a headlock. Trust me it’s a really nice headlock. Freedom cranks and wrenches on the textbook hold, and while it may be nothing for the fans to gush over it has poor Lucius Soul in a world of hurt. COLE Its important to take momentum into the opening round Anderson Cup. Last year Rescue 911 were demolished by Alix in a handicap match and the following week they had nothing for Moneymaker and Wright, to use an example. COACH Rescue 911 had nothing, because that chump Tim Cash got nothing. Mister Moneymaker saw the potential in young Alpha Male Bosley, and rescued him from 911. Thank god! Noticing that Soul is starting to slide his afro through his grip, Freedom abandons the headlock altogether to keep hold of the former pimp with a wrist lock. Wrenching and grinding on the arm, he extends his free hand to Liberty for a tag. COLE The Wrecking Crew looking a bit off their game here. Usually they’d have all sorts of devious double teaming and cheating to get the upperhand. COACH When they cheat, you complain that they’re cheating. When they don’t cheat, you complain that they don’t cheat. Can’t a nigga live his life? Can’t a nigga get some peace? Can’t a nigga be honest for a change? Freedom releases his hold on Soul’s arm to launch him towards Liberty. The muscular brawler nails him in the stomach with a shoulder block, and then flings himself into the ring with a sunset flip. Hebner counts the fall… ONE! TWO! Soul leaps out the pin and quickly scampers upright to regain his offensive footing. As Liberty is still trying to get off the canvas, he sits in a vulnerable position, one that’s taken advantage of by Soul as he strikes him with a twisting elbow drop. With Liberty feeling the ill effects of an awful headache, Soul clamps down on his arm and uses it as a leash to lead him to his corner to bring Rico back into the match. “DEPORT RICO! DEPORT RICO! DEPORT RICO!” The moment the Brazilian enters the ring the Wrecking Crew’s advantage disappears; Liberty hits him with a flourish of left jabs. As the rapid fire punches have Rico out on his feet, the AAB scoots back to the ropes. Unfortunately he moved to near Soul who clocks him with his twig like leg. Liberty stumbles forwards towards a recovered Rico, and the South American wraps his arms around his waist to overtake him with a Gutwrench Suplex! COLE Great display of power right there from Rico DeJanerio. COACH If it were so great, why would Lucius Soul be leaving the team? COLE He didn’t say he was leaving. He was wondering about his career’s future. Haven’t you ever wondered- COACH Stop right there. I only wonder about what crack I’m gonna smoke and what bitch I’m gonna bone. Weak and grounded, Liberty is the perfect victim for a pair of diving elbow strikes the South American drops across his back. Desperate to protect his aching spine, Liberty rolls over onto his back. But this leaves him wide open to a pin attempt from Rico ONE! TWO! Liberty kicksout! Rico becomes distracted over his frustration with the two count, and this preoccupation creates an opportunity for Liberty to get to his feet. Speedily, he heads to the ropes, hoping to catch De Janerio by surprise but as he returns the pornstached grappler floors him with a big boot! Another pinfall follows… ONE! TWO! Again Liberty kicks out. Annoyed beyond return, Rico applies a quick tag with Soul and barks orders to finish off the resilient AAB. Just as Soul enters the ring, Liberty is returning upright cocking his fist for an uppercut. But he isn’t fast enough for smooth soul bro who puts him on his back with a spinning back kick! Lucius drops down onto his foe to hook his far leg… ONE! TWO! And once again Liberty kicksout the fall. “USA! USA! USA!” the audience sings, now getting behind their home country heroes. “Shut up!” Rico snarls at the fans, making their chants all the more enthused. COLE These great Denver OAOAST Marks can’t help but support two great young men like Liberty and Freedom. Lucius rips Liberty off the canvas and leads him onto his shoulders in a standing fireman’s carry. The capacity crowd begins murmuring in distress, all too aware of the Fro2Sleep that’s to come. But, Liberty shocks both the fans and Soul by hastily sliding off the New Orleans’s native’s shoulders. Angered by the unexpected escape, Soul whirls around to strike down Liberty. But he can’t connect with him before Liberty dives to reach the outstretched hand of Freedom. COLE The hot tag is made! Freedom enters the ring with furious charge of a raging bull. Lucius tries to cut him off with a leaping sidekick, but the AAB ducks beneath his long leg and continues to the Wrecking Crew Corner to punch Rico right in the face! Rico falls to the apron in pain, but his misery is shared by Soul who gets floored with a dropkick from Freedom! COLE They’re cooking, Coach, the Boys are cooking, and we might see one big upset in Denver! COACH Just being in Denver is upsetting enough, why these scrubs gotta make things worse? Although dizzied and under attack by a terrible headache, Soul manages to find his way upright. Perhaps he should’ve stayed down as Freedom strikes him again with another dropkick. Thankfully Soul is spared further harm by Rico entering the ring. Unfortunately for The Crew, De Janerio has no answers for Freedom’s flurry and gets upended with a hip toss! Just seconds after Rico bounces off the canvas, his head is nearly taken off by the vicious Bleed America (running kick)! While the fans gasp in awe at the amazing strike, Freedom drops down for a fall… ONE! TWO! Rico yanks Freedom right off Soul just a nanosecond before Hebner’s hand touches the mat. Liberty comes to Freedom’s rescue and begins assailing Rico with furious punches. However spirited his attacks may be they fail to do much damage to the swarthy Brazilian and Rico is able to snuff out his attack with a lariat. The moment he hits the canvas, Liberty’s legs are brought into Rico’s arms in preparation for the Wrecking Crew’s slingshot into bicycle kick spot. But, Rico failed to clear the move with his partner, and little does he realize Soul’s has is back turned preoccupied with stomping down freedom! To both of their horror, but to only Soul’s agony, Liberty collides with “Sweet” and they both go clattering down to the canvas! COLE That was a terrible error by Rico. Just plain careless. Its an error that may cost him the contest as Freedom recovers just enough strength to drag him downwards with a schoolboy! ONE! TWO! But Rico kicks out and the huge upset is avoided for now. Both competitors spring upright, immediately trading blows. But the power of the Brazilian is too much for Freedom to handle and a knee to the midsection subdues his flurry. Rico is able to grab his wounded foe in a standing head scissors and bring him across his shoulders in a crucifix pose. The fans boo the incoming finisher and prayer for failure, but there’s nothing they can do to stop De Janerio from hitting the Mustache Ride! COLE I think that’s gotta be it! Rico shares similar sentiments as his thick accent orders Hebner to count the fall… ONE! TWO! THREE! Liberty dives onto Rico, but he’s a second to late, and his tardiness lowers his head in shame. DING DING DING BUFFER The winner as a result of pinfall…THE MARDI GRAS HOMEWRECKING CREW! Despite the hard earned victory over plucky foes all is not well in The Wrecking Crew. Soul, still smarting physically and emotionally over Rico’s gaffes doesn’t wish to partake in his partner’s celebration. His only desire is to argue and lambaste, harping on Rico for his mistake. Though they never come to blows the heated passion in which Soul yells is enough to make the fans think that they might. Rico tries to plead his defense, but Lucius will give him no ear, and only the exits the ring grumbling to himself. COLE Wow. Team chemistry not looking very bright for The Wrecking Crew. You have to ask yourself has Lucius already made up his mind to leave the team? TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT FAMILY MATTERS LEON RODEZ AND JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN VS MISTER DICK AND MALAYSIA TONIGHT! COMMERCIAL