Patty O'Green

We're brought back to ringside with Michael Buffer ready to announce our first match of the evening! BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall and is for the OAOAST World Six Man Tag Team Championships!! "The Church Of Hot Addiction" by Cobra Starship hits and out march the former champions. Leading the way is Nathaniel Black, a face like thunder (although thunder is actually not visible, so therefore that is an inaccurate simile passed down through generations) as he stomps to the ring. Behind him, James Blonde fires up Faqu from underneath the hood of his trendsetting jacket. BUFFER Introducing first, the challengers. Total combined weight, seven hundred and fourty seven pounds. Together, they represent Cucaracha Internacional! The team of "THE TRENDSETTER" JAMES BLONDE... "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL" FFFFFAAAAAAAAQQQQQUUUUUUUU... and NATHANIEL BLACK... they are INTERNATIONALLY KKNNOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWNN!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Black paces around the ring, while Blonde and Faqu join him inside. COLE Blonde and Faqu have, save for the span of roughly one week, held the 6-Man Tag Team Titles since February. That one week saw they and Todd Cortez relinquish the titles, then team with Nathaniel Black to win them right back at AngleMania. Now, tonight, they look to get the titles back in quick fashion once again and placate their leader Landon Maddix in the process. As the Internacional trio wait for their opponents, we go to the aisle and see LANDON MADDIX making his way to the ring in a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up. The crowd slowly catch on and boo The Next Generation's arrival, while James Blonde starts to lead the applause for his leader. Unfortunately he leads a band of one and gets no appreciation from Landon as he makes his way around the ring. Pulling up a chair, Landon and Megan take a seat at ringside, Landon with arms folded. COLE Well speak of the devil, Landon Maddix joining us at ringside. COACH I dunno if I like this. I mean, the pressure's on now. .:CUE: "Like The Angel", Rise Against:. As the energetic song hits the energy in the arena goes up as well, as out rush the brothers Nerdly. MARV and MEL whip the crowd into a frenzy as Melody Nerdly makes her way out. The twins then land a jumping high-five and Melody strikes a Chun Li Street Fighter-esque fighting stance as two pyrotechnic rockets, one blue and one orange, launch into the sky! BUFFER Introducing the opponents. The reigning OAOAST World 6-Man Tag Team Champions! First, from Edmonton, Alberta Canada and being accompanied to the ring by MELODY NERDLY! Total combined weight, three hundred and seventy pounds... MARV... MEL... THE CHHRRRRIIIIIIIISSSSSSSTT AAAIIIIIIRRRRRR... EEEEEXXXXXXXXPPRRRRREEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" MARV and MEL hand-slap their way to the ring, neglecting to step inside until their partner arrives. COLE MARV and MEL picked up a big win over Landon Maddix and James Blonde last week, albeit by countout. All the momentum rides with the champions in this match The crowd rise again, as "Witness (1 Hope)" by Roots Manuva plays Jamie O'Hara to the ring. Wearing his third of the title belts around his neck as if it were some serious bling, O'Hara psyches his laid back partners up and then mouths off to Black from the floor. BUFFER And their partner! From Birmingham, England... he weighs one hundred, seventy six pounds... "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY"... JJJAAAAAAAAMMMMIIIIIIEEEEEEE... OOOOOOO'HHAAAAAAAARRRRRRRAAAAAAA!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Two time Six Man Champion, having held the belt previously with The Global Party Exchange. God speed, wherever you are! With Black just itching to get at his long-time adversary and Faqu just itching to get at... uh, anyone... referee Mike Chioda has trouble keeping everybody back to let the Champions into the ring. In this time, we see Landon and Megan looking on from ringside. COLE Landon not looking in a particularly confident mood tonight. He's seen his team lose almost as much in recent months as the Detroit Lions. COACH Let's not get ahead of ourselves. After a team conference, Blonde is insistant to start. But he's outranked by Nathaniel Black and when Blonde turns to Landon looking for an over-ruling, he gets nothing, so he sadly steps to the apron. Seeing Black in the ring, O'Hara starts for the Champions. And it takes about a milisecond to boil over into a complete brawl between them!! COLE Uh-oh, here we go! *DINGDINGDING!* O'Hara and Black slug it out in the centre of the ring with the crowd behind each and every shot. Eventually the two Brits break away from each other for a second and stare each other down catching their collective breath, before engaging in battle again! Black strikes with forearms, O'Hara with closed fists, with Black seeming to gain an advantage as he lands a European uppercut. Staggering backwards, Jamie lets the ropes push him back and lands a running forearm. But Black grabs him again and nails a second European uppercut. He follows up with a hard forearm, able to get more backswing on this one, leaving Jamie dazed as he hits the ropes. But O'Hara recovers and lands a flipping dropkick on the rebounding Black. "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" As O'Hara takes his feet, Faqu storms into the ring looking to wipe him out. O'Hara manages to evade though and The Christ Air Express leap in to help ward the big Samoan off. They take the fight to Faqu, while O'Hara knocks Blonde off the apron. O'Hara then throws Black outside before waving to his partners. They play a little cat and mouse with Faqu, enfuriating him to the point that he charges, then sidestepping and letting Faqu fall prey to the lowbridge by The Birmingham Bad Boy! COACH I wonder what videogame they pulled that from. COLE Teasing the big, clumsy boss into charging and then dodging out of the way? Doesn't sound like any videogame I've ever played. But sarcasm aside, it didn't take long for this one to break down and look out here, somebody alert air traffic control! As the challengers regroup on the outside, MARV and MEL run the ropes and DIVE INTO THE PACK WITH STEREO SOMERSAULT PLANCHAS!! COLE A little bit of Christ Air in Canada! MARV and MEL quickly help set up the human bowling pins that are Cucaracha Internacional, ready as O'Hara sets himself. With The CAE keeping everyone in check, he runs the ring, then brings the crowd to their feet AS HE WIPES EVERYONE OUT WITH A SPACE FLYING TIGER DROP!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Two words... OH MY! "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" O'Hara tags a couple of front row hands, as we see Landon Maddix looking severely vexed from his ringside seat. Back inside go O'Hara and Black, O'Hara stomping his opponent a couple of times before pulling him back up. Two forearms stun Black, O'Hara then coming off the ropes to deliver a spinning wheel kick. The high-flying Brit follows that up with a STANDING CORKSCREW SENTON, before looking for the pin... 1... 2... No! Quick tag is made to MEL, who snapmares Black flat onto his back and delivers a double knee drop, bringing his 185 pounds down across the ribs! Cover... 1... 2... No! COLE The fast-paced Champions riding high on, amongst other things, a wave of momentum here tonight in Toronto. And Cucaracha Internacional simply can't keep up! COACH Well this flipping and flying is all well and good, until one of them misses. Which they will, eventually. COLE Hasn't happened so far. MEL starts to pick Black up looking to tag his brother, but Black has other ideas with a headbutt to the midsection. A knee then further softens MEL up as Black makes the tag, bringing in James Blonde. The Vancouver native gets a minimal cheer, replaced by a much bigger cheer for Edmonton's MEL and an armdrag takeover. MEL hangs on and makes the tag to MARV, who comes in off the top with an axehandle across the arm. COLE Quick moves, quick tags, this six man tag team combination is a real blink and you'll miss 'em affair. COACH You could say the same about their title reign after tonight. Irish whip by MARV sends Blonde into a neutral corner where he suffers a running back elbow. Taking a second to play to the crowd, MARV then goes to rush out... but two handfuls of hair drag him cruelly to the canvas! Blonde grins over at Landon as he scales to the middle rope, kissing his fist and making it clear his Marty Jannetty Fistdrop is actually dedicated to La Cucaracha. So it's a shame it hits only ring mat! COLE Do you think James Blonde was ever hugged as a child? As Blonde checks none of his fingers are broken, MARV surprises him by taking him over with a headscissors! MARV then collects Blonde, wringing the arm and tagging MEL back in. Grabbing the top rope, MEL launches himself in as MARV boots Blonde, doubling him up for the sunset flip... 1... 2... No! Another arm wring and another tag, bringing MARV straight back in. The CAE send Blonde off with a double whip and set themselves, looking for a double hiptoss... but Blonde lands on his feet and surprises them with two back elbows! COACH Nice! Blonde brushes himself off, very satisfied with himself. He then hits the ropes looking for a double clothesline, but MARV and MEL catch his arms and drag him back across their knees with a double backbreaker! Off the ropes in front, they then land stereo basement dropkicks to the face of the seated Trendsetter! MARV and MEL pop back up, delivering dropkicks to Black and Faqu on the apron for good measure, while O'Hara compounds JB's misery with a RUNNING SHOOTING STAR PRESS~!!!, causing Landon's face to sink even further on the outside. "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Referee finally gets control, in time to count MARV's pin attempt... 1... 2... Kickout! MARV quickly applies an armbar again to control Blonde. COLE The Champions are rolling here. And next Sunday night they'll be joining up with Baron Windels to take on Cucaracha Internacional again in traditional Survivor Series action. These comments from Baron, earlier tonight! Back to live action and Blonde has found his way out of the armbar during that interlude and has gotten the tag to Black, who comes in clubbing on the back of MARV. In a rotten mood, Black knocks MARV off his feet with a European uppercut, before taking a swipe at O'Hara from the apron which draws him into the ring. It's not a distraction tactic, Black really does want a piece of O'Hara. But it works as one thanks to Blonde, re-entering the ring and throwing MARV into the corner, where Faqu wraps an arm around his throat! COACH Where's Baron when ya need him? Haha! COLE Referee struggling to keep control here, which is going to play right into Cucaracha Internacional's hands, as we see right here! Blonde just gets Faqu to release the choke before the referee can spot him, then orchestrates a tag to bring him into the ring. And Faqu goes right back to work with a more blatant choke in the corner. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FI..." Just breaking in time, Faqu starts screaming at the referee in Samoan, allowing Blonde to get in a couple of sneaky shots from the apron. Suddenly Landon looks a little more confident, as Faqu delivers a headbutt and looks for a cover... 1... 2... No! MARV picks himself up in a corner and tries to fend Faqu off, landing some kicks to the breadbasket before diving for the tag. The Samoan is alert enough to grab an ankle though and drags MARV back, dropping him with a hard clothesline. Encouraged by JB, Faqu then drops the boom with a big diving headbutt, hooking MARV up again... 1... 2... O'Hara breaks it up. COACH I don't see the champions getting too 'high' anymore, do you Michael? It was only a matter of time. Face it, O'Hara and the Nerdlys, one trick-ponies. Cucaracha Internacional have got it all and they know how to put it together as a team, that's why they held them titles for over seven months. Tag is made, Faqu bringing Blonde back in per request. Grabbing his partner by the hair, Blonde delivers a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER~!, slamming Faqu and MARV's heads together safe in the knowledge that his partner wouldn't feel a thing. Instead Faqu just beats his chest, while Blonde covers... 1... 2... NO! "LET'S GO MARV!" "LET'S GO MARV!" "LET'S GO MARV!" "LET'S GO MARV!" Melody gets the crowd going, keeping half an eye on Megan and Landon sitting just a few feet away. Blonde gives his fellow Canadians the "up yours" for not supporting him, before scooping and slamming MARV. Off the ropes, he delivers a double stomp... and bottoms straight out with a back senton, right out of Landon Maddix's playbook. And Landon is able to smile for the first time tonight as Blonde kicks back and applauds his leader for just being him. 1... 2... MARV SURPRISES BLONDE WITH A CRUCIFIX... 1... 2... NO!! COLE Oh, so nearly utter embarrassment! A shocked Blonde quickly cuts MARV back down with an elbow, before taking a moment to re-catch his breath. Unfortunately, he doesn't expect MARV to surprise him again, kipping up right into a headscissors to take Blonde over! Blonde scrambles back up and lunges for MARV, but a RICKY MORTON ROLL~! allows him to get the tag to MEL!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" MEL comes in a house of fire, nailing Blonde with a flurry of punches before hitting the ropes. Underneath a clothesline goes MEL, then ducking a back elbow, before delivering a spinning heel kick! COLE The pace has quickened again! Staggering to his feet, Blonde falls into a neutral corner and MEL delivers a flying clothesline against the buckles, landing on the middle rope. As Blonde staggers back out MEL pulls himself out to the apron, then to the top, before soaring with a Flying Crossbody... 1... 2... NO! Jumping to his feet, MEL delivers some more right hands, then looks to scoop Blonde up. The Trendsetter floats up and over the back though, then RAKES the eyes from behind, buying himself time to get the tag. Once MEL shakes off the effects to the eyes, he turns around... *SMACK!* ...and Faqu DROPS him with a Thrust Kick!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE That could do it, we could have new Champions right here. With his partner screaming at him and Landon on the edge of his seat, Faqu makes the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Landon eases back into his seat cursing under his breath, while Faqu again uses a blatantly choke as far as the count will go. COACH It's okay Landon, your guys have got the winning formula going again. COLE Well MEL was looking good until Blonde's eyerake and just like with MARV, Blonde's timely tag to a heavy hitter changed the face of the match. That the formula I guess? COACH I'd have made it sound a lot less like JB was a pussy. Picking MEL back up, Faqu delivers a headbutt sending him into a neutral corner. The ropes hold MEL up as Faqu stalks towards him, striking him with a thrust to the throat. Faqu then whips MEL across the ring. The crowd urge MEL to move and so do his partners as Faqu loads up, beating his chest, before charging with an Avalanche! Meanwhile, Black enters the ring and suckers in MARV and O'Hara. The ref holds them back, allowing Blonde to run in with a clothesline, before hitting the follow-up bulldog! COACH There's some teamwork for ya. The doobie brothers here aren't the only ones who can string a couple of moves together. As Blonde sneaks out of the ring he encourages Faqu to cover again... 1... 2... NO! On the outside, Landon shifts in his seat, beginning to get a little anxious maybe. Faqu sends MEL off the ropes and delivers a hard chop to knock him down. Off the ropes, Faqu then drops a Big Spla... NO! MEL moves and Faqu hits nothing but canvas. With Faqu winded, that allows MEL to RICKY MORTON ROLL~! and get the tag to O'Hara! "YYYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" O'Hara leaps straight to the top rope and lands a springboard missile dropkick to Faqu! In comes Black, but O'Hara is able to sidesteps his charge and see him out to the floor. COLE The momentum has swung again and Landon's many ups and downs just feet away from us continue. With a flurry of quick kicks, O'Hara takes the fight to Faqu in the corner before looking for an irish whip. Faqu stands steady and refuses to budge though. After a kick of his own he swings O'Hara into the corner instead, landing a headbutt while James Blonde comes in. Together Blonde and Faqu whip O'Hara corner to corner. Blonde follows in with a forearm shot and trips O'Hara's feet out, before looking to cut off MARV. But MARV nails a right hand, before he and MEL catch Blonde hanging onto the top rope, using a quick jerk of the cable to sling him over the top and out onto Black at ringside! COLE Beautiful somersault plancha by James Blonde, just a pity he didn't mean it! As Blonde and Black lay in a heap, Faqu charges across the ring anyway with a cry for SAMOA~!~!... ...but O'Hara moves and Faqu drives his ample rear into the turnbuckles!! COLE Nobody home! The mistakes just keep on coming. COACH Come on guys, you gotta get it together already. Or else. Landon shares those sentiments as he watches on, seeing Faqu fall to a seated position in the corner. Entering the ring, MARV and MEL quickly wrap their arms around O'Hara. The trio then run their makeshift chorus line across the ring, lunging in unison with a TRIPLE BASEMENT DROPKICK IN THE CORNER!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Six boots to the chest! I don't care how big you are, that'll knock the wind out of you! Together the Champions drag Faqu away from the ropes, O'Hara making the pin while MARV and MEL make themselves scarse... 1... 2... NO!! O'Hara quickly calls his tag team partners back in and signals for the end, as the referee tries in vain to get only one legal man in. Locking hands, MARV and MEL provide a leg up for O'Hara. But he wants two and carefully balances himself on The CAE's arms. On the count of three, The CAE then LAUNCH O'Hara up, sending him spinning into the air... ...AND CRASHING DOWN ACROSS FAQU WITH AN ASSISTED 630 SPLASH!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE INCREDIBLE!! COACH Welcome to the bad books. Landon hangs his head, as MARV and MEL count along with O'Hara's cover... 1... 2... 3- NO, BLONDE MAKES THE LAST-DITCH SAVE!!! O'Hara jumps Blonde, while Faqu rolls away. MARV and MEL make sure he reaches the floor with a couple of baseball slides, before MARV lies in wait with a Pescado... CAUGHT! Faqu catches MARV in his arms with ease! Seeing this, MEL quickly launches himself out as well though, a Somersault Pescado enough to knock Faqu off his feet with MARV! COLE There's bodies all over the place, MEL and MARV taking risk after risk and paying dividends with them so far! In the ring, O'Hara sends Blonde off with an irish whi... NO, reversed. O'Hara hits the turnbuckles and Blonde follows with a clothesline, grabbing a headlock and looking for the Bulldog. But O'Hara pushes him off, sending JB crashing chest first into the opposite corner. Blonde stumbles backwards and gets taken down with the Black Russian Legsweep... 1... 2... NO! Quickly, O'Hara is up and onto the middle turnbuckle. He waits for Blonde to get back up, but notice Nathaniel Black until it's too late. Black climbs to the apron and grabs O'Hara leg, using it to haul him off the ropes and send him crashing to the canvas!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH See, what did I tell you? Sooner or later, you're gonna get caught. COLE Well you are if you've got two opponents to keep an eye on instead of one! Referee Chioda reprimands Black as he tries to get into the ring, leading to a heated arguement breaking out. The arguement ends when MARV and MEL grab a hold of Black's legs to pull him from the apron, causing Black to instinctively grab onto Chioda's leg. Meanwhile, O'Hara is seeing stars and starts to pull himself up on the ropes... ...which is when LANDON leaps into action, rushing out of his seat and CLOCKING O'HARA IN THE SIDE OF THE HEAD WITH A DRIVE-BY ::BELTSHOT::~!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! COLE WAIT A MINUTE!! Maddix just nailed O'Hara with one of the Six Man Titles! COACH That's what I call leading by example! COLE And the referee didn't see it, don't tell me it's gonna end like this! Landon keeps on jogging and Megan, avoiding Melody, follows. Getting rid of the evidence, Landon dumps the belt next to Faqu and keeps on walking. Meanwhile, in the ring, Blonde's eyes light up. Dragging the lifeless O'Hara up, he locks on the Cobra Clutch and sweeps him out with Illegally Blonde, enough to fool Chioda as he makes the count... 1... 2... 3!!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* Blonde jumps up and clenches his fists in celebration. But there's no celebration from Maddix, not even bothering to turn around as he and Megan continue to leave. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... and NEEWWW OAOAST SIX MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS of the WOOORRRLLLDD... NATHANIEL BLACK... JAMES BLONDE... AND FAQU... CUCARACHA INTERNACCCCIIIIOOOOOOOONNAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Referee Chioda seems confused as to why there are only two belts handed to him from the timekeeper's table. But Blonde doesn't care and snatches them away from him, cradling the belts like lost children. COLE Cucaracha Internacional, with the help of Landon Maddix, have just stolen back the World Six Man Tag Team Titles! COACH Yup, it was a team effort alright. COLE It was Landon saving his guys' asses if you ask me. COACH Henceforth, 'team effort'. Blonde rolls out of the ring still cradling the belts and wondering aloud where Landon went. Snatching one of the belts away from Blonde, Black immediately marches off to the back with it, a similar lack of celebration to Landon. Blonde is left to collect Faqu and guide him away, while The CAE have rolled into the ring and get the chain of events explained to them by Melody. COLE A bit of a bitter-sweet victory if you ask me, James Blonde seems to be the only one even remotely happy with what just went down. COACH It's not about happiness, it's about vindication. They never should have lost the belts in the first place, they got them back, henceforth vindication. COLE Since when did you know what 'henceforth' means? COACH Since I videotaped you masturbating. COMMERCIAL

YO IF YOU FUCK A BITCH RAW DOG AFTER KNOWIN HER FOR AN HOUR, IS THERE ANY WAY THAT SHE AIN'T A SLUT AND YOU DIDN'T JUST CATCH THAT DIE SLOW AKA DAT HIV? WORD TO MOTHER THIS SHIT GOT ME WORRIED AS FUCK. I FEEL LIKE ZACK MORRIS WHEN HE SPRAINED HIS KNEE AND THOUGHT HIS SURGEY WOULD BE FUCKED UP From the Air Canada Center in big TO, toronto ontario canada, home of last years AM which I don't know what number it is because I can't read roman numerals

keeps on postin keeps on pimpin

Brought to you by American Express Taped: November 14th, 2008 First air date: November 16th, 2008 (check local listings for airings in your area) Announce team: Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura Lead correspondent: Tony Brannigan Yep its Syndicated. Don’t really know what else to say. I used a public restroom for number 2 for the first time ever and didn’t wipe well enough and walked around like a little penguin because I was havin a real shitty day till I got home and man did I stink. Oh and California is on fire and that’s less than good. ***Bohemoth Vs Logan Mann W/Holly Mann*** Hey, HeldDOWN was in Bohemoth’s hometown and he only wrestling on the B show! Let’s play detective and figure out why that was. Heat in the backstage locker room? Failed drug test? Killed push? Mouthed off to the wrong dude? Creative has nothing for him and we wish him the best in his future endeavors? You be the judge! And while you’re being the judge I’ll be over here snorting this coke, and Bohemoth will be fighting Logan Mann. The MACHO Macho Mann riled up the audience with his expert stalling techniques, which consisted of playing the air guitar, stretching out his vocal chords, and admiring the glossiness of his leather pants. Finally The Meterosexual Monster had enough off Logan’s antics and Metrosexually murdered him with a running knee. Picking Logan back up, Bohemoeth impaled him with a seemingly unending torrent of shoulder blocks to the stomach. Somehow Logan found enough of a break in the attacks to roll big Bo up for a mere one count. The big man sprung back to his feet and tried to cut Logan down with a lariat. But Mann had other ideas, namely hitting his larger foe with a springboard dropkick. Though the blow didn’t floor Bo, it gave Logan the chance to attempt his famed Percussion DDT. Unfortunately, Bo easily countered that by back body dropping Logan over the top rope. However, Logan’s incredible agility allowed him to come down on his feet. He used his fortunate landing to take Bo by surprise with sunset flip that earned him a two count. Bo made a speedy recovery upright, but Mann stalked his path to put him down with a running neckbreaker. Three more running neckbreakers would follow but only amounted to an all too close two count. Deciding that cheating would be better than trying to tame the mastodon, Logan used his combat boots to shove Bohemoth out the ring. Holly then took it upon herself to choke the life out of Bo with guitar strings. While his loving wife skirted the rules of the OAOAST, Logan chatted with devout AC/DC fan, Charles Robinson, about the band’s latest album. Mann had to cut short the engaging conversation once Bo dragged his presumably weakened body into the ring. But, Mann’s cheap tactics had the opposite effect as intended; instead of crippling the monster, they invigorated him and he met Mann with a spear! Logan’s sudden decision to retreat was only cut off by a thundering spine buster from the hometown hero! The fans were on their feet, and their cheers were louder than anything ever head in the state as Bo hit Logan with the The Erotic Awakening Of B! But a major disruption soon came as James Riggs, in his continued effort to get fired, invaded ringside conducting a matching band! In proper attire no less! The normally calm Bohemoth lost his cool, yelling and cursing while Riggs continued lead his merry band. Eventually Bo realized he wasn’t getting rid of Riggs and had no choice but to turn back towards Logan. Problem was Logan was back to full and health and shocked the big man with a Percussion DDT! A three count followed, stunning the audience. Winner: Logan Mann via pinfall and James Riggs’ percussion ensemble Much more enthused was Riggs, who led his band through a victory song in celebration of Logan’s cheap win. Less enthused was Riggs when an enraged Bo decided to spinebuster half of his woodwind section. The HeldDOWN Recap was shown, displaying highlights of Mister Dick's ordeal with the massage parlor,Mister Dick and Krista's submission match along with the chaotic aftermath, Ragdoll's deplorable treatment of Sophie, as well as PRL getting in that silky smooth ass of Leon Rodez. Pause. Outside in the parking lot, VICE was seen preparing for the world series of dice with WSOD legend Ashy Larry! Interrupting the time-honored game of ghettos across America was Megan Skye. Skye stated that she was aware VICE was affiliated with The Enterprise but also knew their “services” were for hire for other’s with deep pockets. Thus, she wondered that although she might be facing an official Enterprise member in Molly Nerdly, would they protect her against a possible run-in from the CAE or anyone of Molly’s 100s of family members. She would’ve asked one of CI, but she didn’t feel confident in their abilities to guard against such a threat. Bosley said that the only thing Molly was really good for was “filimin me blowin the back out the next chumps’s chick, hands off the steering wheel of a Ferrari goin 100 MPH in the FAST LANE ON THE HIGHWAY OF TITIES AND PUSSY” and they’d be happy to take Megan’s cash. ***Molly Nerdly Vs Megan Skye W/VICE*** Molly wasn’t overly thrilled with her own associates lining up with her opposition, but as Moneymaker says “Money Talks.” The unexpected disadvantage threw Molly off at first and she was overpowered by a series of headlock takedowns and an arm drags. Back to her feet, Molly gained the upperhand with some strikes until The Perfect 10 cut her down with a diving lariat. Megan went to work on Molly’s back with a bodyslam and a Texas cloverleaf that the NYU student quickly escaped with a rope break. Megan’s assault was unyielding, as she drove her knee into Molly’s back right after breaking the Cloverleaf. Megan then locked Molly into a surfboard submission, but the Nerdly fought furiously to escape. Hastily she returned to her feet, but Megan captured her into a sleeper hold. Only ten seconds into the hold “Like The Angels” burst into the arena, causing Megan to order VICE to cut off possible interference from the CAE. CPA and Bosley followed orders, running up to a stage that was completely vacant. The real threat was in the ring; Melody Nerdly struck Megan in the back of the head with the OAOAST No Homo collector’s edition box, allowing Molly to hit the Final Cut Studio 2 (diamond cutter) for a victory! Winner: Molly Nerdly, via pinfall Postmatch Molly and Melody shook hands and all will be well at the dinner table in Fortress of Nerdlytude. At least until Maggie sits down. And then Melissa. And then Malaysia. And Probably Abdullah also. Backstage Biff finally got around to realizing the obvious. Maybe this safety thing just ain’t working. He explained to his November Reign partner, Rico De Janiero, that somehow his entire life has become even more unsafe since he began his crusade against every danger in the known universe. He’s been put in Heartland title matches, tossed out windows, thrown through tables, hit with chairs, raped, dry humped, and given “unidentified diseases belonging to the homosexual community”. And worst of all only four people have signed his petition to get the fans booted out the OAOAST shows! All that made Biff think maybe its time to hang up the bright orange safety vest, call up Flex, and see if he can get a stock job at the GNC Flex is managing. Rico wouldn’t hear any of that talk, saying Biff talked like a pussy. Biff commented he never knew pussy’s talked, but had never been around one so wasn’t sure what they did. Rico explained that it takes time and effort to get people to listen, but sometimes things are too important to wait for time. Sometimes you have to force people onto your side. Rico promised that if they beat the team of Reggie Lamont and Jumbo , Biff would have two new followers. ***Biff Atlas and Rico De Janiero Vs Reggie Lamont and Jumbo*** This November Reign preview almost turned into a November Ruin at the hands of Biff’s goalie equipment. The safety conscious brawler got his blocker tangled inside the ropes! Patrick Roy he is not. A competent wrestler he is not. Regardless, Biff wasn’t needed in the early going. While he tried to get himself free of his own misdoings, Rico and Lamont traded blows. Before the match could turn a bare knuckle boxing brawl, the Latin Lothario nearly blinded Lamont with an eye rake. A sightless foe, is a helpless foe, as Rico found out as he easily pummeled him in a neutral corner. Once Biff was untangled, De Janiero guided Lamont to his side of the ring and made a tag with Atlas. Very carefully Atlas entered the ring. But his slow arrival was well worth the wait as his goalie pad assisted leg lariat almost KO’ed Lamont. After the pads showed Reggie why one should always wear safety goggles, the huge chest protector showed why one should always avoid pissing off goalies; Biff flattened him with a body splash. Amazingly that only earned a two count. Biff argued with referee Earl Henber that prolonging this match only led to increased risk of injury. Sadly his point was proven correct, when Lamont rattled his goalie mask with a dropkick. Biff got up urging Lamont to stop the violence and increase the peace. But his pleas feel on death ears and Lamont overwhelmed him with a hip toss. A tag brought Jumbo into the ring and sent Biff scurrying to tag in Rico. Both men came in with the fury of a bat out of hell, but it was Rico winning the exchange with a leaping DDT. Jumbo wouldn’t be put down that easily as he returned to his feet to crush Rico’s bones with a fall forward slam. Biff broke up the ensuing pinfall, and lived to regret thanks to Lamont dropkicking him out the ring. Rico dispatched Lamont with an overhead belly to belly suplex and then grounded Jumbo with a mere drop toe hold into a side headlock. Jumbo fought with all his might to get out the hold, but the South American maintained his grip even as he led him to the corner to tag in Biff. Atlas came off the top rope to drive his blocker into the head of Jumbo, and then knocked him loopy with right high kick. That could’ve spelled the end for Jumbo had Biff not decided to try for his Safteysault. As anyone who’s been following Biff’s exploits could’ve predicted he missed, and his errant strike created the chance for Jumbo to make the hot tag! Not abiding by silly things such as rules, Rico charged into the ring to greet Lamont but feel victim to a flap jack that crashed him face first into the ring posts. This left Biff squarely in the line of fire, and inside goalie pads he certainly wasn’t quick enough to get out the way. He tried to hammer Biff in every unpadded area on his body, until he realized there aren’t any unpadded parts on Biff’s body. Thus he had to settle for striking him with a bicycle kick. Unfortunately, this left him open to a Gutwrench Suplex from a recovered Rico. Jumbo quickly jumped to his partner’s defense but Rico countered him with a kick to the gut and showcased his impressive strength with a Mustache Ride! Rico then pounced on Jumbo with a Rico Vice that left the blubbery grappler with no choice but to tap out. Winners: Biff Atlas and Rico De Janerio via submission Postmatch, Rico added two new unwitting signatures to Biff's infamous petition. By Rico's logic, rape=marriage and gangrape=polygymy. AWESOME! On the interview stage Tony Brannigan caught up with Todd Cortez for his thoughts on his Thanksgiving day matchup with Ned Blanchard and Bohemoth. Cortez said his thoughts were that he was looking forward to giving a riot act plus to both men. He's a man of few words, and we're a show with few minutes left and one more match. ***Tim Cash Vs Faqu*** A true sportsman to the bitter end, Cash offered his customary handshake to the person just as likely to bite your hand off as shake it. Fortunately his gesture didn’t result in him becoming wrestling’s first one handed man, though it did result in him being Irish whipped into the corner. Staggering out of the corner, Cash nearly got plowed through by a rushing sidekick, but the former EMT had enough wherewithal to avoid the kick. The hulking monster landed with his leg tangled over the rope, the prime position to be dismantled by an opportunistic foe. Tim Cash is not what I or anyone else would call opportunistic. Thus the good guy assisted referee Clem Buzzlefoxer in helping him out the ropes. That may have been the nicest thing to do, but it certainly wasn’t the smartest as the former HI-YAH world champ proceeded to pound him into the ring with hard strikes to show his gratitude. No good deed goes unpunished! After reducing Cash’s spine to dust with forearms, Faqu tossed him into the corner where he battered him with no less than six uncontested shoulder blocks. Pulling Cash away from the corner, he launched him into the ropes. But, Cash came back with a cross body block into a pinfall for two. Back on their feet, Faqu returned to the attack by flattening the Peoria native with a headbutt. As if the headbutt weren’t enough, Faqu then lifted Cash onto the top rope and powerslammed him off for a near three count. The failure to score a victory greatly angered Faqu and he attempted to torment Cash with an armbar. With the support of the audience, Cash was able to fight free of the submission hold. He avoided a quick powerslam attempt to nail Faqu with a dropkick that sent him hurtling to the corner. Faqu, however, came rumbling back with animal ferocity! Unfortunately he walked himself right into a rollup for a two count. On his feet, Faqu hit the ropes once more to plow through Cash with his mammoth girth. But Cash met him with the Cashback (Randy Orton style backbreaker). Faqu staggered around clutching his back and roaring in anger. This self-made distraction forced him to fall victim to the Backbrain Wheelkick that got a three count! Winner: Tim Cash, via pinfall Backstage Landon Maddix could be seen bashing his head against the wall, until he realized he was on the B show once more. Then he could be seen bashing the cameraman’s head against the wall. GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!

Yay! I win! I win! Oh, I didn't even notice that. That's the result of a semi-mistake due to laziness actually. Ya seeI deleted large random chunks of the match (and an extended real american dick song) cause I got tired of proof reading 30 pages (WOOOOOW!!) ay yo 1st off b suck a dick no homo second off we got a name for dudes like you in the streets, SELLOUT ASS HOE! Dont show ya face around Rainbowland, b, cause shit can get iller than a nigga wit no immune system feedback when I finish writing it!

ZM, my mans, I left you a space after the LS for your promo

CREDITZ Dr.Z 149 KC ZM ALF EWC P'OG

It's a cold opening to our weekly extravanganza, with a still shot of Tha Puerto Rican making his entrance in front of a sea of cheering fans appearing on the screen. COLE Breaking news as the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion goes down with injury, just under three weeks from November Reign! We see a still shot of PRL from later on that night, wearing a grimace on his face. COLE Tha Puerto Rican suffered a suspected torn bicep competing at an OAOAST live event in Lowell, Massachussets earlier this week. The World Champion will visit specialists in the next few days to assess the full extent of the damage. But, PRL has vowed to compete on through the injury and defend his World Championship, no matter what the cost. Another still shot shows Tha Puerto Rican nursing his left arm as he's helped down the aisle by referee Mike Chioda. COLE Tonight, Tha Puerto Rican will appear in The Love Shack and we hope to hear more from the man himself. This is the OAOAST... and this is HeldDOWN~! PRESENTED IN HD FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- We're brought to the Thanksgiving themed decor of Sofa Central, where fortunately the live turkeys have been left back in Milwaukee. COLE Folks welcome to another exciting edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN from Greenville, South Carolina! On tap tonight we’ve got the aforementioned Love Shack, a submissions count anywhere match between a guy who hardly ever uses submissions and a girl who doesn’t know what one is, and a whole lot of other zany, wacky, and wonderful crap to boot! COACH Are you done yet? I got something to say. COLE And that is? COACH Coachie pooped in Coachie’s underwears! The 1-2 musical punch of “My Dick” and “Womanizer” plays Mr. Dick to the ring. But this isn’t the cocky Real American Prick we’re accustomed to. Instead we see a man in a checked mark prop 8 t-shirt…SCRATCHING HIS CROTCH? COACH Ohmigod! What happened to Mr. Dick? COLE Perhaps he’s still feeling the effects of… Well, let’s see for ourselves. COACH Do we have to? HeldDOWN~! LAST WEEK COACH In the immortal words of Sir Charles, that’s just turrible, Mikey Cole. Krista ruined a special ceremony for Mr. Dick. COLE In which he was being rewarded by Theodore Moneymaker for beating her at the Halloween Spectacular. This despite the fact it was a tag match and Malaysia being the one who got the pin on Jade Rodez! Mr. Dick enters the ring in severe discomfort, but it doesn’t prevent him from letting his voice be heard. MR. DICK I don’t mean to alarm anybody, but there’s been a terrorist attack. It wasn’t on some embassy or anything like that. This was much worse because it targeted America’s largest self-erected structure…MY DICK! Ya see, Mr. Dick is always up for a good blow, but not of the variety I received right here last week. This shock to my cock has left me moody and unable to cram all 12 inches of U.S.D.A. prime beef in Malaysia’s tight asshole. And when it’s not crashing down and throbbing deep inside, Malaysia is one unhappy chick which some poor broad’s gonna learn the hard way later tonight when Jade Rodez gets a sneak peek of what’s to come at November Reign. But Malaysia isn’t alone. Mr. Dick has got some steam to blow off himself and I plan on releasing it on you, Krista. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MR. DICK See, I promised that before it was all said and done I’d make you submit and ram all 12 inches down your throat, and Mr. Dick doesn’t go back on his promises. I’ve always known you suck, Krista, but tonight you’ll shallow! COLE What a dick! “In My Arms” hits and a look of shock falls across the face of Mr. Dick, but the crowd is absolutely electric for KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN. COACH What a bitch! Lacrosse stick in hand, Miss California appears onstage seemingly amused by Mr. Dick’s comments. KRISTA (shakes head) Dickie, Dickie, Dickie. Shame on you trying to get me all riled up like that. Do we not remember what happened the last time you did that? I mean really, honey, it was only 1 week ago! You know, when I gave you thar impromptu physical? Except when I cupped you with this stick you didn’t cough…you screamed like a little bitch! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" MR. DICK KRISTA By the way, have you visited the doctor lately? You seem all itchy. Are you OK? MR. DICK What concern is it of yours? KRISTA I’m a mommy. It’s my business to be concerned, Dick-- MR. DICK Enough of this Dickie crap. It’s Mr. Dick, ya hag. But I’ll go ahead and answer your question anyway. I had a bad reaction to some fabric softener, that’s all. The dumb broad who handles my dry cleaning must’ve used the cheap shit. KRISTA Is that so? Well let me ask you a follow up question. Does this look familiar to you? Krista pulls out an empty PERFUME BOTTLE from her lacrosse stick’s webbing, causing Mr. Dick’s eyes to light up like a Christmas tree. He plays it cool though. MR. DICK (nervous laugh) I don’t know what you’re talking about. KRISTA Fabric softener, huh? ROLL IT~! COLE/COACH S&M TV Shot in beautiful Technicolor, hidden camera footage takes inside an ASIAN MASSAGE PARLOR where Mr. Dick enters clad only in a larger black/yellow version of his official towel (product placement at its finest). He stops in his tracks when the gorgeous masseuse turns to face him. MR. DICK (licking chops) Well hello again, Ima Hoe. Or should I say Dr. Feelgood? MASSEUSE I beg your pardon? MR. DICK Mr. Dick never forgets a chick that gives him a hard-on. I remember that cup of herbal tea you had as the manager of The Love Doctors. HOE I put that part of my life behind me long ago. MR. DICK Funny, because there’s something I’d love to stick in behind you. Mr. Dick grabs Ima and starts to feel her up. She pushes him away. HOE Jock, please, let’s maintain some professionalism. MR. DICK Hey, you’re supposed to make me feel good. HOE And I will…with a nice rubdown. MR. DICK Ah, now we’re talking. Mr. Dick removes his towel to expose his bare ass, and then rests back on the massage table. A headshot of him smiling is used to censor his freakish humongous genitals. HOE MR. DICK Congratulations, babe. Not too many chicks ever get the pleasure of handling The Dick. HOE Excuse me? MR. DICK Uh, hello?! We’re in an Asian massage parlor. Your hands, my dick. Chop, chop. I ain't askin you to chug the whole 12 inches down, though by the looks of you I bet ya could fit a couple sprite cans in your mouth. Asian girls just don't know how to suck a man right. I think its cause ya'll eat all them noodles and rice, it don't take no effort to eat those, you ain't gotta put in any mouth work. Black girls? Black girls put in some work! 'Cause they gotta eat that fried chicken and those biscuts and those ribs, and those are huge foods, so they get a mouth work out, so when it comes time to cram the beef on in there, they're experienced pros by the time they're 13! White girls is like a cracker jack box, you never what kinda prize your gonna get. I think it all depends on how close they grew up to black girls. You get one of those thugged out down for life white girls, and you got some good good suckin goin on. But you get one of those princess that act like invading your trousers is the invasion of normandy I kick those bitches outta bed. I don't got time for that! It’s clear by her body language that Ima doesn’t appreciate Mr. Dick’s tone or his odd racial philsophies, which Patty O'green cosigns 100%, and I'm sure Tony will agree! HOE We’re not that kind of… MR. DICK A light bulb is superimposed over Ima’s head. Oh that Simon and Molly and their creative thinking. HOE (whispers) Shh, we’re told to be discreet about that. MR. DICK HOE For safety reasons I’m going put gloves on. You can never be too careful nowadays. MR. DICK I believe it was martial arts legend Bruce Lee who said the only limitation is limitation. So ya see, Mr. Dick throws caution to the wind and flies free as a bird! You ought to give it a try. It’s a very liberating experience. HOE I'll be sure to make that one of my new years resolutions. MR.DICK Chinese new year? HAHAHAHAAH! Get it, 'cause you're one of them, aintcha. I ain't got nothin against the Ching-chong though, matter of fact when I played Street Fighter back as a boy I used to always pick Ryu and he's a Jap, so we're all one that's what I say. Following a splatter of oil on the gloves, Ima begins to service a certain part of Mr. Dick’s body. HOE I just may do that one day. Tell me, how’s everything going in the OAOAST? MR. DICK Great for Mr. Dick, the fastest rising up and comer in the business. I’m setting the joint on fire. It’s only a question of time before I win the OAOAST Championship. Right now I’m stuck dealing with that California queen Krista. This chick is like a bad Disney movie that airs nonstop. But I’m not gonna worry about Krista today. Nope. I’m just gonna lay back, relax and enjoy the bang up job you’re doing handling that piece of heaven in your hands. Always had a thing for Asian chicks. Say, why don’t you utter that line your people are famous for? You know, “me love you long time.“ And speak with the accent for the rest of our… UGH! Tired of Mr. Dick’s attitude Ima puts the squeeze on. HOE You like that? MR. DICK YEAH! MAKE IT POP LIKE A PIMPLE!! HOE That’s why they call me Dr. Feelgood, baby. MR. DICK (grunting/moaning) And you’re making me feel real good alright. Now say the line for me. HOE Me love you long time! MR. DICK Again. HOE Me love you long time! MR. DICK Oh, yeah, you’re about to strike gold, you whore! Again. HOE Me love you long time! MR. DICK HOE Here baby, let me help you. The good doctor turned masseuse cleans the mess with a piece of tissue paper, then reaches for a battle of perfume. MR. DICK What’s that? HOE Ancient Far East custom. A dash of this and you’ll never forget your experience. MR. DICK Then lay it on me, baby! Ima gets in close and sprays Mr. Dick’s crotch. HOE Please be sure to come again. The video cuts off. Back live in the arena Mr. Dick is fuming. KRISTA Hey cocksucker, why don’t we let the rest of the world in on our little secret? That’s no bad reaction to fabric softener you’re dealing with…it’s a case of the crabs. PUBIC LICE! COLE/COACH “BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” MR. DICK Mr. Dick charges towards Krista and takes a shot to the ribs courtesy of the lacrosse stick! Her foe doubled over, Krista rips the shirt off his back and throws it down in defiance, but when she takes a swing at Mr. Dick’s head he ducks and slams her onstage with PURE PENETRATION! MR. DICK Alright Krista, it's time to open up and say MFHFFIMFFQUMMITMMFF! With that statement Mr. Dick shoves Krista’s face in his crotch! COACH Do it for all us men, MD! Do it for all us men who can't even have a proper fantasy about her because she's a lesbian without it involving us havin to crossdress in it in someway! Tired of having to stuff a bra and wear a strapless gown every time I wanna get my beat my meat off! COLE Oh, my! There will be hell to pay when Krista comes to and faces Mr. Dick later tonight in the submission match. COACH She just came face to face with the real Mr. Dick! It’s nice to see there’s at least one person who still keeps his promises. Mr. Dick poses over Krista, itching, as we go to break. COMMERCIAL COLE For those of you who missed Syndicated this week... COACH *raises hand* COLE ...it was another bad night at the office for Cucaracha Internacional, as brand new OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions were crowned, in the form of Jamie O'Hara and The Christ Air Express! A replay of the ending to the match plays for those of you who might have missed it (I know who you are!), showing Nathaniel Black's accidental Black Lariat on Faqu, leading to a face-off between then two. O'Hara would send them from the ring with a Springboard Heel Kick and wipe them out with a Space Flying Tiger Drop. James Blonde's attempted Illegally Blonde on Mel was blocked by MARV, before The CAE sent him to the Pearly Gates with a Flatliner/Enziguri combo. The Christ Air Express then went on to deliver Sent From Above and despite Landon's despairing efforts, the titles changed hands. From that, we find ourselves back in the Cucaracha Internacional locker room where the recriminations continue from last weekend. With his troops lined up, or three of them at least, Landon paces backwards and forwards with his hands on his hips. MADDIX Every month it's the same story. Landon stops pacing and glares at the three in front of him. Nathaniel Black glares right back and Faqu is Faqu, looking around the room wondering why he's standing in a line with everyone else. So Landon directs himself to Blonde, the one showing outward sorrow. MADDIX You know, I put this group together with visions of greatness. I hand-picked you three guys to follow my lead. I've done all I can to nurture you three, to guide you three, to provide opportunities for you three... Landon is stopped by the sound of Megan clearing her throat. MEGAN Uhm, Landon, you mean four, right? Megan points over to Todd Cortez sat in the corner of the room. After glancing over, Landon looks back to the group... and he and Blonde promptly break out into spontaniously laughter. MADDIX (wipes away a tear) Oh, oh-ho-ho, that's a good one. BLONDE Yeah, good one Megs! Good one! The laughing continues, before Landon remembers that he's pissed and scowls at his crew again. Very quickly, Blonde quits laughing and goes back to his apologetic face. MADDIX You know what, you stand there laughing, but maybe Megan's got a point. MEGAN 'Maybe'? Screw this, I'm gonna go grab a coffee. MADDIX Yeah, get me one too while you're at it wouldya? No cream. Megan grumbles under her breath as she leaves the room, the door closing with a noticeable slam behind it. MADDIX I never thought I'd see the day where I'd have to do this. But, it's time for some tough love. You guys have been spoilt. Spoilt by my forgiving nature. And enough is enough. Oh, I could put it down to bad luck and missed opportunities at first, a gentle pat on the back and a better luck next time and off you'd go to enjoy the life of 6-Man Tag Team Champions. But now look at us! No wins on the last pay per view. No belts. No prospects. This isn't what I invisioned for you. It's not what I invisioned for Cucaracha Internacional. You know what's going around the locker rooms and the corridors when they speak the name of Cucaracha? Laughter! We should command respect, command fear, but we don't command a damn thing right now with you losing all the time! So, as of right now, we're stepping back. No more competing with The Enterprise, or The Deadly Alliance. We need to regroup first. And on top of that, as far as I'm concerned, you're ALL on probation from this point on! That surprises Blonde, who's eyes bulge. Black just looks pissed off at the mere suggestion, while even Cortez seems surprise enough by this to turn around and start paying attention. BLACK You wot? MADDIX I said, you're all on probation. (points at Cortez) Like him! After the way you've all been performing in the past couple of months and all the missed opportunities I've seen passing this group by, you need to prove yourselves again, because whatever stock of respect you had is running very low. BLACK That's bollocks. I've been askin' you to gimme Malibu for months, so I could beat his arse, put us back on the up an' you ain't done a thing about it! MADDIX Nat, I've told you a hundred times, now is not the time. When it is the time, you'll get what you want. BLACK Yeh, you keep sayin' it, but I ain't seein' it... MADDIX LOOK! I'm the leader, okay? Me! BLONDE Yes you are! Even Blonde's sucking up isn't working on Landon, so he must really be unhappy. So much so, he ignores the slap in the back of the head Black gives the Canadian. But he quickly acts when Faqu turns to Black. MADDIX Hey HEY HEY! HEY! Cut it out, come on! THIS is why you're on probation! It's all 'me, me, me' with you guys. And I'm sick of it. No one man is bigger than Cucaracha Internacional, except me! I don't want to hear any of the 'me, me, me', I want to hear more 'Landon, Landon, Landon'! BLONDE "Landon, La..." MADDIX Not now, hey James? Jeez. Look, the bottom line here is, you guys have got some making up to do to me. Unless you want me to perform a talent reshuffle, that is. Printing up new shirts with new flags on wouldn't be that hard. Prove yourselves, that's all I'm asking. And you know what, I see you looking at me like 'what the hell' and it's tough for me too, which is why I'm even gonna get into the trenches with you, we're gonna tackle this like a team. Tonight, me and JB are gonna get a little retribution on the Jonas Brothers tribute twins. And at November Reign, the four of us are gonna team up and we're going to win. And I mean it this time! No more going to Pay Per Views making big boasts and coming out the other end on the recieving end of defeats! Cucaracha Internacional are going to win, you're going to prove yourselves and all will be right again. Because you know what'll happen otherwise. Until then, you're in the bad books. And if you're looking for some more motivation and want to know how that goes, how about you ask Todd Cortez what probation's like? Black and Blonde, the two who can understand what's going on, turn over to where Cortez has again looked up from his sorry spot in the corner. CORTEZ (sarcastically) You guys'd better start winning. MADDIX You see! This guy knows the score! This guy knows what's up! And if you don't watch your steps, he'll be stepping off the bottom of the food chain! End of speech, you are all dismissed. Having worked himself up Landon sits back down and picks up a magazine to try and cool himself down. BLONDE Uhm, Landon? Our match? MADDIX Oh, right right, yeah, let's go then. Quickly Landon picks himself back up with his authorativeness all gone to waste, leaving with Blonde as Black folds his arms and brushes past Faqu. COLE Tension riding high in the Cucaracha camp, can Landon and James Blonde get one over on the new 6-Man Champs, we'll find out when we come back! *COMMERCIAL BREAK!* COMING UP NEXT LANDON MADDIX AND JAMES BLONDE VS THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESS NEXT! LATER TONIGHT THE LOVE SHACK FEATURING PRL TONIGHT!

COLE Folks, its about time for our submissions count anywhere match, pitting Mister Dick against Krista Isadora Duncan! Joining us on commentary is Abdulah Abir Nerdly, because….why are you hear anyway, you manage The Rockers not Mister Dick. ABDULLAH Correction, my brother, I guide The Rockers through life’s trials and tribulations. And my student, Mister Moneymaker, The Messiah, has requested I give guidance and share my light and my goodness with those destined for the hell. I'm only present to do that and nothing more. COACH Praise to you, my holiness. COLE Are you kidding? You’re coming out here in a support of sexual predator in assless chaps, that just seven months ago you branded as the devil. COACH Hey, Keith Olberman, take your homotions back to MSNBC, you soundin like a b-i-itch right now. Let the man give us his light! I am a Real American Dick! Exploding on the face of every woman! I am Real American Dick! Suck on my balls, till I cum like Niagara falls! When I come crashing down and its throbbing deep inside I’ll leave you wetter than a flood tide I gotta bend you over that’s how I like to ride! I date a girl who whips my hide And my 12 inches is my greatest pride I am a Real American Dick! Exploding on the face of every woman! I am Real American Dick! Suck on my balls, till I cum like Niagara falls! That interesting take on Real American cuts into the more normalized dance styling’s of Womanizer. Like a golden shower from Jesus Christ himself a majestic pyro fall rains down in front the entry way. Next to the sizzling sparkles, red, white and blue pyro geysers erupt in another brilliant burst of color. To a loud, almost deafening chorus of boos emerges The Real American Prick Mister Dick. Though minus his hard hitting lover, he’s no less confident showcasing a splendid body in a skimpy black bikini brief and white cowboy boots. His wonderful muscles glisten and flex beneath white and yellow lights that flare and spin on his entrance ramp as his pyro display continues to sizzle. BUFFER The following contest is a submission’s count anywhere match, where the only way to defeat your opponent is through submission! Introducing first, hailing from San Antonio, Texas, and is a former OAOAST One and Only world tag team champion! He stands six foot four and weighs two hundred thirty eight pounds, he is The Human Hard On....MISTER DICK! He struts down the entrance ramp, accompanied by the taunting and jeers of the audience. Yet, he doesn’t even bother to bark a solitary “shut up” at the fans, only grumbling about his horrible case of crabs and the women who embarrassed him. ABULLAH My friends, Mister Dick was once blind, but in my House Worship his eyes were opened to the good, and now he pledges service to the betterment of all man. He dives into the ring, where he humps his rock hard bone daddy while glaring like a predator at Michael Cole. Once done with alarming the announcer he find his way to the top rope and points out to the audience as if to say this entire company now belongs to him. COLE In singles matches Krista has beaten Zack Malibu, Dan Black, Theodore Moneymaker, Tony Brannigan, Bohemoth, Christian Wright, ThunderKid, Landon Maddix, Leon Rodez, and many more, and yet I don’t think there’s ever been quite as big a threat to her undefeated record as she faces tonight. Kylie Minogue's In My Arms replaces womanizer and the audience is on their feet with cheers. The entrance stage is made over as a wonderful dance, resplendent in sparkling glitter and flicking rainbow pattenerned lights. Above this awesome visual display is the even more awesome visual display of an army of female dancers, scantily dressed in sexy pirate costumes. They dance and swashbuckle with faux swords before swirling orange, blue and pink spotlights, before their attention and everyone elses’ is captured by Krista Isadora Duncan, dressed to kill in whit high heels, a ruffled black skirt, white polo shirt that’s cut off to reveal her stomach, and white emerald encrusted ribbions in her. Krista gives a little twirl to show off her ultra fashionable outfit before fluffing her hair and strolling off the ramp. BUFFER And the opponent she is a New York Times best selling author, a fitness queen, an inductee into the Hollywood Walk of Fame, tar of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos in addition to being the star of the VH1 reality show The Look of Love and the Angle Award winning female personality of the year, here she is the OAOAST's Miss Money In The Bank… "MISS CALIFORNIA"... KRISTA ISADORAAAAAA There’s a gigantic cheer from the capacity crowd that Krista meets with a simple smile and wave worthy of the red carpet. The stage itself is carpet in shimmering red and pink and glitter and is encased by photojournalist all snapping a picture of the walk of famer. At the end of the stage she stops, throws her hands on her slender hips, and flicks her head back to show of an arresting smirk and a playful flip of her vibrant hair. ABDULLAH The script I’ve been handed requires me to mention that Krista has released a new fitness DVD titled “The Body Sculpting Dance Mix” ten minute workout to shape your body. But I feel this woman needs to shape her mind! She has assaulted this fine man’s dignity, assassinated his pride, and trampled on his emotions. Brothers and sisters, Allah is love, but this female, is evil! Witness how she through me through a wooden shack and left me to nearly drown! COLE You called her youngest daughter Tarzan and compared her to Satan! And, folks, do not forget her eldest daughter will be in a California street fight match with Malaysia Nerdy at November Reign! Abdullah will be hard pressed to gain any sympathy from the audience who are reduced to drooling fiends by Krista’s upside leg hanging trick. Adding to their puddle of aroused drool, she pulls herself up onto the second and quick her legs open for a panty shot before swinging into the ring. COLE Here we go. Mister Dick against Krista Isadora Duncan. DING DING DING! Full of fury and anger, Mister Dick charges across the ring in an effort to spear Krista. However, Miss California leap frogs his approach, causing the cocky prick to totally miss her. This only makes him more angry and he darts at Krista once again. But her high heels upend him with a leaping flip kick that delights the audience. Mister Dick is anything but delighted, and as he returns to his feet he makes another lunge for Krista. This time Krista tries to meet his approach with a jumping sidekick, but Mister Dick moves swiftly bellow her long leg. He finally hits jackpot by tackling Krista to the ground from beyond. The Human Hard On can’t help but exert his dominance over the sexy pinup, and humps her from behind, sliding his prized possession between against her two prized possesions. He reaches beneath her to rub her stomach, as his baby oil slicked body slides over her tush nice and slow. MD’s seconds of pleasure soon turn to seconds of miserey as Krista grabs onto the arm beneath her stomach and flips him over into an arm bar! “YEAAAAA!” The audience’s joy is short lived, as a panicked MD quickly uses all his strength to drag his arm out the hold. Fearful of the scowl Krista directs at him, the Cocky Prick scatters towards the outside. Stalling, he chews out a cameraman for nearly tripping him over, even though said camera man was 15 feet away. MD’s ludicrous beef with the videographer comes with a heavy price; Krista is adble to drive her heels through his shoulders with a baseball slide. The Texan careens backwards, crashing into the steel guardrail and leading out a shout of an immeasurable pain. Pain quickly gives way to rage, and he launches himself towards Krista with a bevy of forearms. The blows come down fast and furious, with little nod to accuracy and many nods to pain. No match for a man half a foot taller than she is, Miss California is forced to resort to a slightly underhanded tactic. Tickling. KRISTA (doing baby talk) Who’s mama’s funny boy? Who’s mama’s funny boy? MISTER DICK KRISTA Yes you are! Yes you are! The ticklish MD can’t control his wild laughter, as his entire body goes as red as a tomato and tears of hilarity pour freely from his eyes. Yet, there’s nothing enjoyable about what Krista does next; she rams his face into the guardrail to a shout of celebration from the fans. And again his head is brought into the metal, eliciting a terrible scream from his throat. KRISTA (ramming his head into the rail) Who’s a pretty baby when he bleeds? Who’s a pretty baby when he bleeds? Unfortunately for the blood lusting starlet, she can’t draw a single speck of blood before Mister Dick elbows her away. He once again turns his fury on her and bombards her with closed fists. The audience boos everyone of his strikes, leading him to turn around and give them the one finger salute. But when he turns back to Krista, he’s met with a similar gesture and a trio of knife edge chops! The strikes don’t do enough damage to Mister Dick to prevent him pie facing her away causing her to crash skull first into the ring posts. The spectators gaze on in fright as their heroine goes toppling over to the ground. “I’ma put a stop to yer old super woman shit ya freak ho!” Mister Dick proclaims, hovering over her wounded body. His hands then fall around her neck in a vicious double chokehold. She gags and wheezes beneath his powerful grip as he grins sadistically into her tear soaked eyes. Abruptly, he calls an end to his choking, and with his hands around her top drags her off the canvas. He snatches her into a front facelock, and then snatches a handful of her firm booty to the envy of many an audience member. From there he lifts her high into the sky and drops her buns of steel across the steel guardrail! Seated on the thin rail, she groans in pain with little thought to MD’s whereabouts. That’s rather problematic, as the southwestern beefcake strikes her with a lethal Stiff Kick! She topples over into the stands, where concerned fans immediately inquire about her welfare. COLE That’s a first. A BUTT assisted suplex into a stiff kick. The Real American Dick crosses over into the stands right as Krista is starting to return upright. He cuts off any possible comeback by latching onto the ribbons in her hair and driving her head into guardrail. Krista let’s out a full-throated scream as the fans cringe with horror. With widened eyes they watch as Mister Dick gleefully carries across the arena floor. The fans part like the red sea while MD moves her moves her towards the rink boards. Once he reaches his destination he hurls her stomach first into the boards. Draped over the boards, she moans miserably as searing agony tears through her six-packed stomach. Her situation worsens incredibly when Mister Dick returns to grinding his member into her ass with the fury of a dog in heat. But whatever pleasure Dickzilla took from Krista’s behind is forgotten about the moment she strikes a fans’ replica belt against his face! The audience applauds loudly, as Mister Dick’s hands immediately move to protect his handsome face. “I used to think all wrestling fans’ who brought belts to show were pathetic creatures totally incapable of being conversed with as human beings. I mean, I still do think but without your adherence to stupid things like being accepted into society I might never be able to wear this thong again.” She says to the portly young man that assisted her. Krista nods one final thank you the fan and rush towards Mister Dick to blast him in the back of the head. As the agonizing blow stumbles him forward, Krista gazes at this mysterious object called a replica title belt. “United States Title? Honey, why would you show up with a title we don’t even have. It’d be like showing up at Mister Dick’s house with books, or education, or a high school diploma.” COACH That ain’t true. Mister Dick is a legend in Texas high school football and was a star QB at Texas A&M! COLE He was a third stringer that got suspended three times for violating team rules, and finally kicked off the team when he drunkenly sodomized the mascot and posted pictures on the Internet. The former Aggie is about to catch another vicious blow to the head. But thanks to his NCAA all-American agility, Mister Dick ducks bellow the belt strike. Before Krissy can turn around and retry her effort, the former tag champ coils his brawny arms around her neck for a sleeper hold. “Nighty night, skank!” He chuckles while the audience shudders at the thought of a possible submission. Thankfully their fears haven’t much time to come to fruition. With minimal effort Krista is able to plant her heels onto the boards. Foolishly, MD assumes she has zero hope of escape. He’s proven wrong when she kicks off and flips through the air to bring him down against the ring floor with a sliced bread #2! I still have no idea why that move is named that. KC ANSWER ME!!! “YEAAAAAAA!” screams the sold out audience over the yells of a downed Mister Dick. “Owww crap! Why the hell did I do that move onto concrete! You there, “ She turns towards a man who looks like a paunchy Matt Lauer “You look like a guy who spends a lot of time trolling chat rooms for teenage girls, redirect your noble but illegal efforts towards starting an online petition to get this floor changed to cotton candy. Speaking of, someone hook a lezzie up with that sweet funky stuff!” No less than five people toss the fitness queen her desired treat. She catches two and let’s the other three fall to floor. Krista happily takes a chunk out of the pink treats, before realizing she’s violating her diet. Not wanting the sugary food to go to waste she jams it right into Mister Dick’s face! More surprised than hurt, Mister Dick mumbles obscenities through his sticky mask. However, Krista “mistakenly” interprets this as a call for more candy and picks up two more pieces. MD pulls away his candy mask and screams, “Woman, don’t you dare! I ain’t eating anymore crap that’s been in these filth buckets mouths” “Oh, honey, I don’t see why not, you eat plenty of penises that’ve been in other people’s mouths.” Fiercely outraged over that comment, he Cocky Prick rockets another Stiff Kickat his foe. But, Krissy is well prepared for the attack and catches his quick moving boot within her hands. Moving swiftly, she kicks out his leg and brings the lanky stud to the cold dirty floor. The cleanliness of the arena is the least of his worries; Krista twists his ankle into an ultra painful anklelock! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” COLE Krista busting out her second submission! And the two she’s used tonight are more than she’s used in her whole career. COACH This is the only company where ignorance is applauded. Well, this and FOX News. Krista’s inexperience with submissions greatly hinders her; Mister Dick, with unerring ease, turns over onto his back and uses his free foot to shove her. The force of the blow pushes her against the boards, where her back cracks against the hard surface. Crippled by this pain, the walk of famer is incapable of moving out the way when Mister Dick crashes into her with a lariat. She’s upended over the boards and dumped into the regular seating area! The Human Hard On celebrates his show of brute strength by pretending to urinate on a nearby five-year-old girl. R Kelly would be proud. ABDULLAH My brothers and sisters, be not alarmed, urine posses both fiber and essential amino acids. Praise be! Mister Dick grabs Krista by the back of her boobtastic top and hastily hauls her upright. His hands bounce across her skull, weakening her and forcing her into a quick retreat. She backs up the steps, the combination of Mister Dick’s strikes and the screaming of the audience afflicting her with a terrible headache. Barely able to stay upright, she braces onto the railing for all the support it can offer. Thankfully this offers a minor reprieve due to MD being busy accosting a male fan in the asile way. The elderly gent fights against the OAOAST’s resident bully, but he’s no match for Dickzillia, and quickly loses his belt to Mister Dick. MD cruelly shoves his victim to the ground, and then turns his attention to Krista to lash her back with the leather strap! ABDULLAH Yes, brothers and sisters, yes! Krista is seeing the result of her ugly sins and Allah is punishing her through Mister Dick! Praise be, my friends, praise be! The lashings come down heavy hard, leaving brilliant red marks on Krista’s perfectly tanned skin. She let’s out terrible screams of agony that wrench at the heart of the hissing audience. “Keep making that noise, woman! I want everyone to hear what’s its gonna sound like when I stretch yer daughter’s coochie out back in the locker room.” He screams, smiling wildly over the imprints his lashing leave on her skin A lust for vengeance overrides her incredible feelings for pain and she whirls to tag MD with a backhanded slap. Krissy follows that up by tagging him with three more slaps. No more than a second after the third one lands, Krista crushes MD’s skull with a panty revealing high leg kick. The audience pops huge, delighted over watching MD teetering on the verge of falling down the stairs. Krista takes advantage of his weakened state by leaping onto the railing. She wows the fans by flying back off, wrapping her money making legs around Mister Dick and flipping him over with a spinning head scissors! Mister Dick is thrown into a world of dizziness and hurt when his landing finds him crashing head first against the arm rest of one of the seats. “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” the crowd sings while MD slowly slides down the stairs. “Wow a holy shit chant, it makes my walk of fame induction look like signing autographs at the grand opening of an AutoZone in Lubbock, Texas. By the way Mister Dick will be signing autographs from 9-5 at the grand opening of the AutoZone in Lubbock! Its all free of charge, but it would be lovely if you could chip in so he has money for the bus.” Like everyone who has the misfortune of being humiliated by Krista, MD is infuriated and attempts to shut her up with his stiff kick. But again he misses the strike, and lands with his 12 inch meat missile smashed firmly against the railing! COLE That’s an extreme way to kill pubic lice. Just stick it inside a bug zapper, man, that’s what Beavis and Butthead did. The cheers of the audience grow even louder when Krista slams a dropkick into his back that leaves him lying stomach first across the railing. His breath comes labored and weak, clearly he’s incapable of fighting free of predicament. As such, Krista decides it’d be a great time to go surfing and leaps onto his back like a board. “In history of Krista’s bad ideas, this rates somewhere bellow me telling the kids in the burn victim unit we were gonna get on like a house on fire. With that said, surfs up!” she says, and then uses Jock as a surfboard to slide down the railing! The fans marvel in wonderment at the never before seen sight and erupt with gigantic applause as Krista leaps off perfectly at the end and poor Mister Dick takes a nosedive onto the concrete! Mister Dick puts forth a string of profanities that would make the devil blush, as he lies a brutalized mess on the floor. COLE Do you know Krista used to be a championship surfer as a teenager? COACH Did you know Krista was a star lacrosse player in college? Did you know Krista was the best goalie in UCLA women’s soccer history? Did you know Krista played a recurring role on Will & Grace? Did you know Krista landed on the moon? Did you know Krista can speak to dogs and together they’re plotting the liberation of the Hawaiian Islands from American rule? Did you, Mikey? Huh? Did you? Mister Dick goes up and over the railing on his will, eager try to take the match back to more familiar territory. But, exhausted he sags down onto the ring mats and this allows the sex kitten to take position on the steel guardrail. Pleasing the audience she hikes up her already too short skirt, and lets her gorgeous behind take them to 7th heaven with some serious jiggling. “Its amazing that I can keep my balance and do this at the same time You know the thing really has a mind of its own. It just starts grinding and jiggling, that’s great when I don’t want to wait in line at Dunkin Donuts, no relation, but terrible at a wheelchair charity race when I cause a sixteen chair pile up.” Once finished with her commentary Krista back flips and lands squarely on Mister Dick with a moonsault! She rolls backwards, and watches as her foe tries to return to his feet. Once he reaches the halfway point she violently assails him with a running dropkick to the head. The sound of her heels mashing his skull into the metal is hideous but it thrills the audience none the less. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” ABDULLAH Be strong, Mister Dick. You are an emissary of the Messiah, Mister Theodore Moneymaker, who is a chosen savoir of our one lord and god. You shall overcome! Sing with me, Cole! Mister Dick manages to get his feet under his own power, but still finds himself on defensive, trapped inside a front facelock. The GLAADiator begins twirling him around for a Life In The Fab lane (twist of fate). However, Jock summons a surprise burst of energy and breaks free of her clutches. Stunned over his escape, she fails to prevent him from hauling her down with a double leg takedown. Mister Dick lecherously licks his lips at his peak down her skirt to her tan thighs. But putting business before pleasure, he flips her over into a Boston Crab! COACH That a boy! Krista’s golden hair falls in front of her face, muffling her pained screams. MD’s 265 pounds of muscle push down her back, nearly snapping it in half. Krista is nearly brought to tears, but still finds the will to try and battle towards the ring apron. “You better not quit, grandma! Not until I got my foot long sausage inside that big mouth!” “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” the fans chant while Mister Dick increases the pressure and pain behind the hold with each second. A submission seems inevitable, but the ill tempered Mister Dick is distracted by an audience member taunting him. Annoyed, Dickzillia realizes his hold and turns his attention towards threatening the fans’ wife and daughter with a late night visit. “You wanna talk some shit? Talk some shit on this!” He hollers before planting his boot into Krista’s back. He then goes to pick Krista up by her ribbon decorated hair, only for the bombshell to shove him away. Seething with rage over the simple push, Mister Dick shoves her back and she crashes back first into the steel steps. While she lies in a battered heap next to the dislodged stairs, the Cocky Prick climbs onto the ring apron. He taunts the disgusted audience by grabbing onto his crab riddedn junk, before he comes flying off with a splash onto her back! The fans can only turn away in fright, as Krista’s anguished shouts are heard loud and clear over Buffer’s nearby microphone. COACH There’s that agility that put Mister Dick in the running for the Heisman! COLE Are you crazy? He was a third string quarterback! If that puts you in the running to for a Heisman, then the guy cleaning the pee stains off Bush’s toilet seat is next in line to be vice president! Mister Dick hoists one of the steps above his head, ready to launch it at Krista like she was a WR on his old Aggies squad. Fortunately, Krista protects her lovely face by dropkicking Mister Dick square in the face, sending both he and his steps tumbling over. As soon as he hits the mats, MD is thrown under assault from stomps by the foxy mama. She weakens him just enough to position his prone body on the steps. Miss Money In The Bank then leaps onto the ring apron, checks her makeup out on the video screen and with all eye liner good to go, dismounts her perch with a corkscrew shooting star press! As beautiful as the move is the landing is every bit as ugly as Mister Dick rolls off the steps and Krista’s back smashes into it! She screams, the audience, and Mister Dick laughs manically at them both. ABDULLAH Do you see, what’s happened, my brothers? The gates of hell have been opened up on our enemy, and swallowed her whole! Mister Dick hurls Krista back inside the ring, and quickly follows her. With a twisted smirk forming on his face, he lets his white boots mangle her already wounded back. Through the vile stomping she tries to rise to her feet, but Mister Dick’s assault is too much and she stays grounded. “YOU CAUGHT CRABS! YOU CAUGHT CRABS! YOU CAUGHT CRABS!” the fans chant, which only makes Mister Dick’s attacks grow more brutal. Finally he ceases his stomping, and brings his rival to her feet in order to irish whip her towards the ropes. Hunched over and glaring like a predator, he waits for her return. And waits. And waits. And waits. “What’s going on? Are ya havin’ a senior moment? Why aintcha runnin back?” “Uh, why would I do that?” Krista wonders, leading against the ropes to catch her breath. “God damn it, you got alzhemiers? Ya run back ‘cause yer supposed to!” “Say’s who?’ “Says who!? What wrestling school did you go to, Golden Girl?” “They have school’s for this shit? Oh, honey, you are too much. Wrestling schools! Ha! Retards really do say the darndest things.” Pushed well past his limits of tolerance, Mister Dick complains to an unsympathetic referee about Krista’s behavior. This behavior becomes even more vexing when she runs to him and drives his face through the mat with a face crusher! “Honey, you were right, running to you really did help. Thanks for the tip.” She sarcastically comments to a round of muffled insults from Mister Dick. She heads to the second rope and comes down across MD’s left leg with a knee drop. He rolls away, clutching onto the wounded limb and grinding his teeth against the pain. Miss California stalks his retreat, as her hands glide through her golden hair. Once she reaches her escaping rival, she grabs hold of his right leg. She then flips forward, awkwardly ripping at his hamstring. He grabs at his sore muscle, as furious eyes watch Krista parade across the ring with hands on hips. She returns with the intent on doing further damage to his legs, only to be stunned when he hauls her downwards with a drop toe hold. Ignoring the pain in his leg, Mister Dick quickly takes hold of her’s. “Hey, Robinson, how much are these beautiful legs insured for?” Mister Dick asks the referee. “Ten thousand dollars” “Its yer lucky day, little mama, yer about to be ten thousand dollars richer” He coolly informs her before slamming his elbow against her knee. Two more elbow strikes follow, leaving her to stew in a mixture of anguish and anger. Her anger mounts further, from the frustration of being incapable of stopping the Human Hard On from draping her leg over the first rope. “It’s a shame this beautiful piece of God’s craftsmanship is gonna have to be in a cast for the next couple months, but you shouldn’ta messed with ol dickzilla.” Jock comments right before he drives the brunt of his weight onto her leg. Krista immediately pulls her leg off the ropes to prevent further damage. But, there’s no escape from Mister Dick’s onslaught; he regains control of her leg and hammers her hamstring with a closed fist. He then backs away from her, grinning a devious grin as he admirers his handiwork. ABDULLAH Notice, my friends, notice the way Mister Dick’s career has blossomed and flourished without the negative influence of the bad seed, my sister, Melody. I’d like to say I help facilitate the change inside my House of Worship, but every man’s journey is his own. Replaying one of Krista’s earlier moves, Mister Dick captures hold of her leg and flips forward to nearly shred her hamstring muscle apart. Somehow after that vicious attack she gathers the strength needed to step upright. But she hasn’t the strength needed to remain standing and capsizes to the canvas to the incredible amusement of Mister Dick. Scratching his pubes (no homo), he saunters over to Krista and lays a stomp into her leg. Pain overtakes her entire body, and she furiously slaps the mat in anger. Her agonizing display brings a smile to MD’s face, and he continues his dissection of her leg with a leaping elbow drop. Quickly back to his feet, he retries the move, only to have Krista slide out the way. His arm smacks across the canvas and the pain is immediate and burning. Cursing up a storm, he fails to notice her staggering upright. This is to Krista’s advantage as she uses the element of surprise to catch him with an arm stunner! The audience comes alive with massive cheers, overjoyed to see Mister Dick flung backwards to the canvas. COLE Krista got him there! She may not think all that highly of professional wrestling, but just for her ego alone, which is gigantic, I don’t think she’s going let her undefeated streak slip away. COACH Goes to show ya how ass backwards the OAOAST is. The person who hates wrestling has the best record! Mister Dick lies on the canvas with his arm held close to his chest in protection and pain written across his countenance. Krista sees his wounded state, and has the will to capitalize on it , but her weak and tired legs won’t give her the way. Thusly she frustratingly flounders on the canvas like a wounded bird. But, her hands find the ropes and give her the assist she needs to get to her feet. Through sweat, and strands of hair, she watches her adversary do the same. But, MD is much quicker then the crippled starlet, and takes her leg out from under her with a chop block! There’s a cheer from the audience, but its not for Mister Dick, its for Krista’s resiliency as she somehow is able to get back to her feet. She doesn’t stay for very long as MD throws a basement dropkick into her ten thousand dollar legs. She keels over, wailing as though she’s just been shot. COACH See, that’s the problem with Krista, she talks a bunch smack on a dude, they get mad and they hit her, she starts crying, they feel bad and let up, and then she goes and massacres them. Mister Dick slides out the ring, and with a crazed look of sadism on his face, stomps over to the Spanish announce table. Even though the announcers didn’t say word one to him, Mister Dick pie faces them both to the ground! Laughing at their misfortune, he grabs onto a monitor and rips it clean out the table. There’s a buzz of intense dread from the audience as they watch MD gather a chair into his weapons cache. The monitor is flung into the ring, but MD carries the chair close to his chest, as he steps between the ropes. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” the fans are desperate to rally Krista , but their cheers are replaced by horrified gasps the moment he rams the chair into her leg.. Krista can't contain the agony that bubbles at her throat, and long tortured cries spill free of her mouth. Her pain is Mister Dick’s pleasure, etching a cruel smile onto his face. He raises the chair once again, cackling over the misery he’s about to inflict. But just as he begins bringing the chair down, Krista brings her boot up and connects swiftly with his infected genitals! “YEAAAAAAA!” is the ecstatic reaction of the audience, as Jock’s hands release the chair to minister to his nightmarish pain. ABDULLAH Ah! Krista Isadora Duncan, I suggest you prepare your coffin because Mister Dick will respond swiftly and decisively! He lurches about canvas, and his curled mouth screams out with deep roars of misery. All of this seems to delight Krista, who allows herself a small grin when she acquires his discarded chair. He has only a second to react to the unnerving sight of the beautiful creature hovering around him with the aura of a serial killer. Then the chair slams into his back with the force of a wrecking ball, nearly driving itself through his back and sending him scurrying away in panicked retreat. His labored movements are far too slow to escape Miss California, however, she leaps with her knees pressed into his back and curses him with further misery with a lung blower! Mister Dick’s body bounces off her knees onto the canvas, where the audience gets a wonderful sight of his exhausted face lying cheek first against the mat. While Jock squirms on the canvas , Krista leaps onto the third rope. She the fans gives a little wiggle of her booty and flies off with a BUTT splash! Her landing is perfect coming down onto the center of Mister Dick’s back, and ripping all the breath right out his mouth. “Five minutes to a better BUTT by Krista Isadora Duncan, look hot in a bikini and crack the spine of your worst enemies. Available wherever fine DVDs are sold!” she comments as she dismounts Mister Dick. Trying to find some part of his body that’s clothed is difficult but she settles on his teeny tiny trunks and guides him upright. Her hands clamp across his neck, and though he begins mounting a minor struggle, she meets with few problems in bringing him down with The Blonds Never Pay a Cover (side effect). But unlike the usual version of the signature choke, Krista keeps her arms tightened around Mister Dick’s neck, and rolls backwards to lock her exquisite legs around his body. Loud gurgling sounds and utterances of vulgarities are heard from Mister Dick, but are instantly overpowered by the massive roar of the crowd. “You wanna quit, Jock?” “Get outta my….AHHHHHHHH” MD’s rudeness is silenced by the wrenching on his neck by Miss California. Jock is desperate to be free of the hold as his breath is rapidly depleted by her clutches. As such he resorts to dirty tactics, jamming his finger into her blue orbs. Krista refuses to relent and continues to try removing Mister Dick’s neck from his body. But, Mister Dick will not be dissuaded and his fingers press harder and harder into her eyes until she finally she hasn’t any choice but to release him. Coughing and wheezing as though he were a chain smoker, he limps upright as Krista does the same. He strikes first, stunning her with a pair of jabs, that buy him the time to charge towards the ropes. But as he bounces back he finds his foe is recovered, and she grabs onto his curly hair and throws him over the ropes! Mister Dick comes down on his feet on the outside, but its certainly no happy landing as he stumbles forward to smash his head into the guardrail. Behind his vision, Krissy situates her heels onto the top turnbuckle. In an instant she becomes a purple and blond whirlwind of motion, recklessly swooping and rising above Dickie with a corkscrew moonsault. Despite her small body weight her descending body shoots through her adversary like a bat out of hell! Mister Dick lays there helplessly and his body trembles out of pain and fear. “K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!” sings the audience, as Krista has to use their support to will herself upright. An extra boost of energy comes in the form of a tasty beer handed from a fan. Krista decides that sober wrestling is safe wrestling and instead dumps some of the beer onto her shirt. Turning towards Mister Dick, she puts him under spell through cupping her hands underneath her juicy breast ad squeezing them together. Keeping him entranced and docile with her cleavage, Krista bounces wildly, causing her hooters to fly up high and crash down again CRAAAAACK! The bottle is smahed against Mister Dicks’ forehead creating a torrential downpour of glass, blood, alchol and sweat. As the audience goes insane over his terrible misfortune, Mister Dick falls over to the puddle of glass his bleeding head yielded. ABDULLAH What gall this woman has! I demand that Krista offer an apology to Mister Dick, to the fans, to the OAOAST, to fine people at Coors brewing company, and myself Abdullah Abir Nerdly, speaker of the prophets. The GLAADiator takes hold of her dazed and beer soaked foe and roughly deposits him into the ring. The moment he gets into the ring he begins rolling away, seeking an escape from his exasperating tormentor. But two long strides of her legs bring her to his position, where she roughly hauls him off the mat. Acting out of sheer desperation alone, Mister Dick clamps down on her shoulders and jars her with a jaw breaker! Taking no moment to regain his depleted breath, Mister Dick brings Krista to the canvas with a single leg takedown. His hands weave around her ankles, bringing her leg beneath his arm pit in a basic but deadly leg lock. The submission rocks her tendons with almost seismic force, sending tremendous vibrations through her limbs. “You gonna give up, grandma? You gonna get back to your rocking chair?” Frantically and furiously, Krista attempts to pull herself out of MD’s submission. But the fearsome power of the former Aggie is too great, and he laughes at her futile efforts. Yet his laughter is soon silenced as Krista’s uses her free heel to stab him in the mouth. Though that pops the fans, it outrages the bloody superstar and he tightens the grip on his hold in response. The pain from the leg lock is outrageous and the urge to tap is even greater. But Krista is determined to keep her spotless record intact, and with all the energy left in her body begins to kick away at Mister Dick. What are merely annoying shots at first, quickly escalate into something far worse, and Mister Dick is forced to relinquish his hold lest she make further mincemeat out his face. As his visage flares with bright red fury, he waits for Krista to hobble upright. Once she does, he encircles his arms around her slender waist, tucks his head beneath her arms and lifts her high into the air. A five second delay draws considerable heat from the fans that grows hotter when he slams his knee onto her’s! ABDULLAH A knee breaker! Blessed by the messiah! Mister Dick climbs onto the second rope, where his focus is momentarily distracted by making an oral sex motion to a thirteen year old girl in the front row. Once his pursuit of a statuary rape charges concludes he dismounts the turnbuckle with a knee drop that lands squarely on Krista’s knee. Pure pain stretches across her face, as all she can do from passing out is slap her fist across the canvas. She struggles and struggles to find a way to her feet, but stranded in the middle of the ring, she’s in a dire situation when Mister Dick collects his steel chair. He smiles through his crimson mask, as he circles her like a vulture ready to savor its delish meal. As the audience’s heat reaches its highest point yet, Mister Dick drives the chair right onto Krista’s leg. The feeling is worse than an amputation with a buzzsaw, and yet Krista refuses to show pain, instead turning to Mister Dick and challenging him to do it again with a cold hiss. Dickzilla is happy to oblige, and terrorizes her knee once again with another shot. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KIRSTA!” He roars like a rabid wolf as three more strikes come down against her cash producing legs. Finally Mister Dick discards the chair in order to take possession of Krista’s legs. He licks his hands and then rubs them down her smooth bronze skin with the kind of sick smile normally reserved for the worst of predators. Krista has zero intention on being victimized and shoves him away with a kick. Hastily, she scurries to her feet, but her movement isn’t fast to stop Mister Dick from bum rushing her with a forearm. The shot staggers Krista, but doesn’t manage to floor her, leaving her open to a bombardment of closed fists from the Human Hard On. Krista tries to fight back against the strikes, but the brawny stud quickly smothers her offense by hooking her into front facelock. Ignoring her shrieks of protests, Mister Dick lifts her and situates her onto the top rope. “K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!” the spectators chant as they watch their heroine helplessly teeter on the ring posts. Mister Dick’s “Shaddup, why dontcha!” Mister Dick barks, joining Krista atop the turnbuckle. Once again she’s trapped inside a front facelock, leading the audience to bemoan the dreaded forthcoming superplex. Krista isn’t so willing to give up hope, however, fighting against his restraints with wild punches. The once fearful audience is abuzz with hope that their girl might escape. But hope is short lived, as Mister Dick releases his hold to begin slamming his elbow into her forehead. These attacks do nothing to quell her sprit, though, and she continues to battle back at MD until she batters him away from the posts. The Human Hard On succeeds in coming down on his boots, but lands off balance. This leaves him a perfect target for the beautiful swanton press the covergirl strikes him with! They barrel down to the canvas, crashing with a booming thud that’s almost as loud as the spectators’ shout of joy. ABDULLAH All is well, my friends, all is well! Allah will guide to Mister Dick to victory…or I will convert to Judaism. Now forced to deal with a titanic headache in addition to constant blood loss, Mister Dick is in a spectacularly poor mood. He attempts to subdue his angered mind by subduing his foe with a lariat. But Krista sidesteps his blow, and latches onto his arm to bring him down into a crippler crossface! The agony brought on by the hold builds at an alarming rate, and MD begins screamin, unsure of how much of this torturous hold she'll be able to withstand. Stuck in the center of the ring, the ropes appear so distant they might as well be in on another continent. Thus, Mister Dicks uses those bulging biceps to push his way free of the submission. He moves back upright, but still feeling the affects of the crossface, he can’t stop from Krista from ravaging him with a knifeedge chop. “WHOOOOO!” “Seriously, the next person who whoo’s when I’m wrestling is going to be using Terry’s underwear as a breathalyzer. Thank you.” After chastising the audience, Krista whips her rival towards the corner. He smacks against the post with such force that he immediately staggers away from it. But he doesn’t make it very far as Krista runs in and forces him to bite her shiny metal muff! Mister Dicks takes a graceless swandive to the canvas, to fantastic cheers. “Who’s the grandma now, Dickie?" she shouts. “I am!” The ropes aid Mister Dick in returning upright, where the stubborn cowboy aims to take Krista’s head off with a discus punch. However, the only thing Mister Dick twirls right into Krista’s trap, and the Hollywood pinup sends him twirling downwards with a spinning crossface! The audience puts out a colossal cheer for an impending submission, but their joy is premature; Mister Dick effortlessly rolls through the hold, springing back to his feet. Much to his consternation, Krista rolls with him in order to bring him down with another crossface! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” COLE She’s got it! She’s got it! What do you think Moneymaker’s saying about this, Abdullah? ABDULLAH I’m unsure, friend. But I am saying this, Krista is to submission wrestling, as Melody is to my family. A disgusting embarrassment! The audience loudly begs Mister Dick to tap, and with the incredible strain Krista puts on his neck its not such a terrible idea. He hollers and curses reduced to raving lunatic as the pain rushes through his body. His head is a fountain, squirting blood out his temple, down her manicured hands and back onto his face. “TAP! TAP! TAP!” With one gigantic, almost miraculous burst of energy, Mister Dick roars with the strength of a lion and begins fighting his way upwards through her hold. COACH He’s out! He’s getting out! Coach’s excitement is much too overhasty, as Krista heaves Mister Dick back downwards to a rapturous cheer. Fighting for freedom, fighting for consciousness, Mister Dick acts as though he’s fighting for his life with feverish thrashing against her chains. He can feel tendons in his neck and shoulder begin to separate, but even still he cannot bring himself to submit. Finally, with the aid of herculean strength he nudges Krista over onto her back. Although shocked by sudden shift, she still has the wits about to tug on his neck with an elementary neck crank. Sadly, the hold doesn’t do nearly enough damage towards Mister Dick, and with unerring ease he grabs hold of her oft-targeted leg. Holding the limb, he breaks free of her neck crank and takes a seat on her face. His beef bayonet tries to ram itself through uninviting lips. “You gonna say MFHFFIMFFQUMMITMMFF!!” He shouts and then bursts into a fit of laughter, still trying to plunge through her mouth. Krista already low mumbles are muffled by his treacherous performance. Her discomfort is worsened by the second, as Mister Dick tears away at her leg with her knee bar. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Beneath Mister Dick’s mammoth monster and trapped inside a terrible submission hold, the cheers of the fans barely register in Krista’s mind. Only thoughts of escape fill her head, but there’s hardly anyway to accomplish that with a hulking muscle god pressed against her face. She bucks with her free leg and flails her arms wildly, but the display of will doesn’t lasts for more then a few seconds; her breath is quickly hauled away by Mister Dick’s suffocating perversion. “Say I quit! I wanna feel you on my dick sayin you quit!” He hollers, above the desperate chants of the audience. If anything that steels Krista’s determination, as she’s thoroughly unwilling to provide him that satisfaction. But with a total inability to breath, and her well insured leg being ripped to its breaking point, her possibility for escape dwindles every moment. “Say it! Say it!” his face is red with crazed excitement, spurred on by his continued efforts to push Krista’s lips open. He rips at the hold harder than ever before, feeling her bones and tendons crack beneath his fingers. COLE How much more can Krista take? How can she survive this move? Sadly the answer may be not very long as Krista raises her hand to possibly tap out. But if she were going to submit, or if she were gathering her strength we’ll never now as her daughter Jade enters the ring to smash Mister Dick with a chair! “YEAAAAAAAA!” ABDULLAH The demon spawn has arrived! The gates to hell have opened! Cole, my friend, shield me behind your poor facial hair! COACH She ain’t got no place ‘round here! I think Krista was just about to tap and she ruined it! Jade may have succeeded in freeing her mother from Mister Dick’s hold but she unfortunately drew the ire and the perverted lustings of the cocky prick. A sickening snarl appears beneath the red veil on his face as he stalks a fearful Jade across the ring. At first she begs him to leave her alone, but then she summons her mother’s courage and takes a swing at him with the chair! Unfortunately, Mister Dick catches hold of the chair and rips it free of her hands. Gone is her bravery, understandably so, with the raving mad Mister Dick ready to bash her skull in with a steel chair. But before he can strike Jade, Krista yanks the chair away from him! “YEAAAAA!” the fans scream, not noticing that Christian Wright and CPA have snuck into the ring. The pair go unnoticed by Krista who winds up on Mister Dick. As such she’s taken by complete surprise when CPA storms through her with a lariat! As Wright applauds CPA’s show of power, Bosley saunters into the ring and puts the boots to the fallen walk of famer. “BOOOOO!” COLE This isn’t called for! Not one bit! ABDULLAH I will hold Krista in my nightly prayer. The foursome join in on gang stomping Krista, while her frightened daughter watches from the corner. The bell rings repeatedly in the background, as if that could somehow stop these hounds from brutalizing Krista with their thuggery. Christian lifts Krista into the air and slams her back down on the steel chair with the Wright Off (sky high)! Jade has to close her eyes, unable to stand the disurbing sight of watching her other be manhandled by such brutes. COLE Somebody needs to step this! COACH And who might do that? The only people Queen Krista gives the benefit of her association to are Shayne, who’s injured, Tyler, who’s five foot nothing, Terry, who’s an idiot, Molly, who’s probably critiquing the cinematography, and Alix, who might think this is a hallucination! All hope is not lost, however! A gigantic ovation comes from the mouth of every fan in the arena as Zack Malibu slides into the ring! COLE Zack Malibu is here! The three time world champion is here! There’s no moment to be frozen with shock, in the presence of The Franchise, and the goonsquad springs into action. Bosley makes the first move only to be upended by a back body drop that ejects him from the ring! CPA follows his partner in and meets with the same horrible fate, landing in crumpled heap next to the Alpha Male! “YEAAAAAAAA!” Wright manages to catch Zack from behind and clubs him down with a pair of forearms. Zack whirls around to fight back, but Wright meets him with a series of European uppercuts. He subdues Malibu just long enough to pin his arms behind his back. Mister Dick doesn’t need any sort of instruction and immediately comes at Zack with his Stiff Kick! But the In Crowd leader rips away from CW, and Mister Dick’s signature hold blasts him in the face and sends him hurtling through the ropes! “Ah crap!” Mister Dick shouts and then turns a menacing glare onto Zack Malibu. Malibu doesn’t wait for Mister Dick to spring into action and strikes first with a swfit kick to his infected genitals! COLE Oh my! The Human Hard On barely has a second to tell the roaring fans to shut up before a School’s Out shuts him up and leaves him lying on the canvas! “ZACK! ZACK! ZACK!” ABDULLAH Allah give me strength, your soldier wages war! The normally cowardly Abdullah decides he can take no more of Zack’s interference and slides into the ring to admonish his behavior. He waves around his holy book, and dresses the OAOAST poster boy down (no homo), demanding he repent for his sins against Allah. Only twenty seconds into the spiel, Zack has heard enough and levels the speaker for the prophets with a School’s Out! COLE And down goes Theodore Moneymaker's spiritual guide! “ZACK! ZACK! ZACK!” the fans sing, on their feet taking great pleasure in his domination over the villains. Zack now turns his focus on the shell-shocked mother and daughter helping them both to their feet. Jade is gushing over being saved by Malibu, but Krista, who used to doing the star-striking, plays it cool and offers Zack a heart felt thanks. The Franchise merely smiles back and says “told you I owed you one.” Together they join hands and raise their arms to a thunderous, a thunderous, god damn it I said thunderous, cheer from the capacity crowd COLE A great match ends in a no contest, The Enterprise and friends try to harm Krista, Zack Malibu coming through big tonight! He said he owed Krista from last week and boy did he pay off the debt. Way to go! COACH Yeah, he’ll be receiving a nice fruit basket from her agent I bet. COLE Folks, we’ll see you next week! FADE OUT!

We rejoin the adventures of Mr. Dick already in progress, as he and Malaysia arrive at the dressing room of the men “Sweet” Lucius Soul recommended. The door swings open and a cloud of smoke is released. COACH Sweet Lu wasn’t lying, Cole. This is some freaky business. As the smoke disperses two figures begin to appear in the shadows. LOS CONQUISTADORS! Dancing to tribal music they circle Mr. Dick counter clock wise shaking an officially license OAOAST figure of Krista at his crotch. COLE What in the world? Mr. Dick’s suffering from pubic lice not a hex. A ball of fire shoots out of nowhere and the music stops. MR. DICK (laughs) I think you guys burned the little bastards! MD checks his short shorts and freaks. MR. DICK You idiots! You shrunk my dick! CONQUISTADORS MALAYSIA Suddenly the door opens and in walks OAOAST agent/interviewer Terry Taylor. TAYLOR Mr. Dick, you’re on in 5. MR. DICK But I’m dealing with a medical emergency! TAYLOR No, I’m afraid that’s just an inconvenience. Let’s move it. MD and Malaysia scurry off. The Human Hard On still itchy. TAYLOR (to Conquistadors) By the way, fellas, we fixed that thermostat problem. You won’t be freezing in here anymore. COACH Oh, thank goodness. Mr. Dick was only affected by the cold. But he’s still gonna have to fight Krista partially handicap! COLE And that match is next! COMING UP NEXT SUBMISSIONS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS MISTER DICK NEXT!

We return from commerical with the sound of Theodore Moneymaker's music drowning out the negative reaction he's garnered from the crowd, as the leader of The Enterprise and Alison stand in the ring. MONEYMAKER It seems that every week I'm out here lately, holding a mic, having to tell you people the same damn things. Every week I come out here to remind you what fools you are. Tonight, however, I won't do that. I will not tell you how ridiculous it is that you cheer a man well past his peak. Not only that, but you cheer a man that you shouldn't. A man that claims to be the savior of not only this company, but of each and every one of you! A man with a rather high opinion of himself, don't you think? Well, that's about to change, because tonight people, I humbly ask Zack Malibu to come out here and stand face to face with me in this ring. Tonight, I will bring Zack Malibu back to reality, and make Zack Malibu himself realize that he is NOT the saving grace he presents himself as! The fans continue to boo, and Alison, unimpressed, gets the mic. ALISON Boo all you want, but like you've been told before, the only reason you boo is because you people can't handle the truth. Just look at what happened last week. Zack Malibu, the proud family man, getting in MY face? A woman? It seems to be a pattern that Zack either hits or hits on every woman in this company, and it obviously it all went to hell for him when I left and he knocked up that tartlet Candie! Why do you think he went after Crystal and Josie years ago? Because they represented a challenge? God no! He went after them to get out his aggressions, his frustrations. Zack Malibu is a menace to women because he knows that the one he has at home ruined his life, and that bastard child didn't steal his heart, just a percentage of his earnings! I mean, who can purchase shirts that run in triple digits when you've got to stock up on Pampers and formula? Zack Malibu ruined his own life, and he takes it out on everyone else. He is not a good guy, people,. We've tried to tell you. We've been polite, we've been diplomatic. Now tonight, if you won't believe us, we want you to hear it straight from the man himself. So Zack, come on out. No setups, no traps. Just you, me, and Theodore here, clearing the air once and for all so that everyone can get on with their lives! After a few moments of hesitation, the fans start chanting for Malibu. The "ZACK" chant grows louder and louder, until finally, Papa Roach hits, and "Getting Away With Murder" leads the former World Champion down the aisle! COLE Here he comes, and he's not looking too happy! Malibu, in jeans with an In Crowd T-shirt worn under a sharp looking blazer, heads to the ring and wastes no time in getting into it. Moneymaker hands over a microphone, which Zack snatches, looking like he's ready to kill. MALIBU Polite and diplomatic? Your smear campaigns and your sneak attacks are one thing, Moneymaker. You can say to me and do to me anything you want. You can keep trying to brainwash these people, but you know it won't take. So here we are, the same old song and dance, with the two of you going to the last resort. Going after Candie and my daughter didn't work out too well for the last guy who tried it, so how the hell do you think it's going to benefit you? MONEYMAKER Relax, Zackary. You and I certainly have our differences, but Bruce Blank I am not. Your family is safe from harm...from us, anyways. From you though, that's a different story. It seems Zack that the revelations in recent months have humbled you, yet you put up a brave front every time you're called out on your bull. Tell me, Zack...when WAS the last time you won a match, anyways? Better yet...why did you really reform The In Crowd, hmm? Let me tell you what I think, Zack. I think the loss of Anglesault has hurt you greatly. Without someone in power to give you clout, you're not getting your way as much. The fact that you've been exposed as a fraud constantly has reduced your confidence. You can't win a match to save your life. You've been beaten down by almost everyone on the active roster at one point or another. You come out here and do these interviews acting like you're not bothered by all of this but the fact is Zack...I BROKE YOU. You mean NOTHING anymore. You reformed The In Crowd to surround yourself with yes men to make yourself feel better about yourself. Not to be the avenging angels of the OAOAST. Not to counteract any perceived wrongdoings. You did it for YOURSELF. Everything Zack Malibu does is for HIMSELF. Zack Malibu was a company man simply because he felt it was HIS COMPANY. With Anglesault in charge, you had free reign, Zack. Now that he's not, you can't play puppet master, and it's affected you. Zack Mailbu, the former World Champion, the superstar, the man who fought against Hollywood and the SWF and Civil Wars and Wildcards just can't catch a break because everything has finally caught up with him! Karma at it's finest, Zackary! You are at the end of your rope in this business, and honestly it seems to be that you're kept on simply because you still have a shred of name value. Lord knows enough of these people are still chanting your name, but I have no idea why. You're not a success anymore. You're not, nor have you ever been, a role model. You are weak, you are broken, and you just don't have the it factor you once had. The In Crowd wasn't a good idea, nor was it "cool" to be "retro". It was a last ditch effort to boost your self confidence, but with Sly Sommers down with injury and the other two preoccupied with their own lives, it's safe to say that Zack Malibu rides alone. Hell, last week you needed to be helped by a GIRL because you were defenseless. MALIBU I wasn't about to lay a hand on Alison. MONEYMAKER Here we go again with the setting an example speeches. You wouldn't lay a hand on her, but yet you ran through every woman on the roster a couple years ago. You had Crystal in a damn CAGE, bleeding like a stuck pig, but you were afraid to stand up to a few choice words last week? The fact that you're still around is a business decision, nothing more, because in all honesty you're going to wind up a liability sooner than later. When these kids cheering you grow up to be wifebeaters or deadbeat dads, their parents will have Zack Malibu to thank. When the people chanting your name watch you crash and burn and throw out their In Crowd t-shirts, when your action figures remain on the shelves because no one wants them, when our pay per views drop in buyrates because you can't handle being a main attraction anymore, you are going to be stuck on your ass with a kid and a tramp to care for, with no more money coming in. No one's going to want you. These people aren't going to want you. This company isn't going to want you. YOUR OWN FAMILY ISN'T GOING TO WANT YOU, because let's face it, Zack, the game is up. The secret's out. You are a fraud, and now...NOW, you want to captain a team to go against me at November Reign? For what reason...to bring Anglesault back!? ANOTHER security blanket from Mr. Ego himself? Bring back the one guy that might suck your ass for God knows what reason, given that he LOATHED you for so long? I am all too willing to sign on the dotted line for that Zack, but I must ask you...step it up, will you. Don't make it TOO easy for me. Bring your A game. Bring whatever false friends you have that week to stand on the apron and take your tags, because that's all they're going to be good for to you. See who you can rally behind you, because no one wants to associate with a loser, Zack...and that's EXACTLY what you are. Malibu looks humbled by Moneymaker's words, looking down at the canvas, then back up, peering into the eyes of his rival. MONEYMAKER Nothing to say for yourself, Zack? Or are you going to hit me and take the cowards way out, defending yourself with a cheap shot rather than reason? MALIBU I'm not going to hit you. Fortunately for yourself, I'm not going to hit you. I will tell you this though...I'll agree one some points. I'll agree that this business, this company has evolved. I will NOT agree that its passed me by. I have fought with heart and determination for my entire six years here. I came from NOTHING, and made myself into someone that people could be proud of. I didn't walk out here and demand respect like you do...I EARNED IT. I didn't walk into this company throwing clout and cash around...I earned everything I've ever gotten. You want to point fingers and say that I've made some deals behind closed doors, acting like some type of saint as if that behavior is above you? Let me tell you, Teddy...the reason you hate me is because I'm everything that you are, only better. I'm just as talented, just as powerful, with one major difference...I EARNED my spot. I didn't buy into anything, and I'm certainly not buying into your crap. You think because I've been defeated in matches, or jumped by some of your goons that it's going to destroy my confidence? I have been beaten by some of the best wrestlers in the world, and beaten down by some of the worst people in the world, and I have risen up off the ground to fight another day. You desperately want to take credit for running me out of here. You got rid of Anglesault, and now I'm the last piece left. You think that if you can get rid of me, you can rip the heart out of the OAOAST. You're not looking to better this company, Teddy. You're looking to DESTROY IT. You want it all for yourself. The spotlight, the titles, the power...you crave it. You feed off of it, and it's killing you that I won't bow to your whims. I have come out here for weeks now, but YOU are the one avoiding confrontation. Until now. November Reign is coming up quick, and the only reason you've even agreed to this is because you have people that will let you stand on the apron. You're going to have four other people doing your dirty work, while you stand there and avoid me at all costs. Mark my words, Theodore, you and I are going to be in this ring VERY soon. Not for another face off, or another verbal spat. You and I are going to actually, physically battle it out, because words can only stretch so far. You want me to prove my worth? Step it up a notch? Let's see you prove that you've got a backbone behind that bankroll. Let's see you get in this ring and prove that you've got the talent to back up the talk. MONEYMAKER Be careful what you wish for... MALIBU ...why, because I might get it? GOOD. Nothing would please me more than to crack your jaw with a School's Out and shut you up once and for all. Being able to get Anglesault back is a bonus. You can brag about having all the money in the world, but I'd kick your ass for free. Moneymaker scowls, and drops his mic. He loosens his tie and steps up to Malibu, who doesn't flinch. The two go nose to nose, with the crowd at a fever pitch. Both men have clenched fists, neither man backing down...and then Moneymaker smiles and turns around, exiting the ring with Alison. COLE What a coward. COACH Coward? He's brilliant! He's getting under Zack's skin and he knows it! The crowd boos viciously, as Moneymaker and Alison back up the aisle, again proud of the fact that they're pushing Zack to the brink. Malibu just stares coldly at them, letting it all sink in as he prepares to exact some revenge at November Reign.

The cameras in the arena hover over the ring, where the finishing touches to the set of The Love Shack are being made by a busy group of OAOAST ring crew. In the ring is Leon Rodez, with "Rock The Casbah" playing out, as he directs the workers. As they set about placing the various crap Leon has on his desk in just the right positions, we throw it over to Sofa Central, manned only by Michael Cole. COLE We're going to throw it over to Leon Rodez and The Love Shack in just a few moments, which gives us enough time to remind you of what went down last week as HeldDOWN~! went off the air. Tremendous tag team action with the OAO World Tag Team Champions Reject and Thunderkid defending against World Champion and Number One Contender, Leon and Tha Puerto Rican. And it was a miscommunication on the November Reign opponents part that lead to their defeat. COLE Now, we tried to get a word with Leon Rodez after HeldDOWN~! went off the air, to clear the air, over what happened. Unfortunately, we decided to send Maggie Nerdly. And... uhm... let's just say things didn't work out so well there. OAOAST Productions, Proudly Presents... #~~THE LOVE SHACK~~# With the recapping over and the set all in place, we throw it to the ring to Leon Rodez, who wears an apologetic look on his face as he's just finished watching that recap on the AngleTron. LEON Well, gee, thanks for showing that guys. Really appreciate that. Leon awkwardly takes his seat. LEON Whoo boy. Uhm, well Maggie, I guess it'd be cliché for me to say 'we were on a break' now that Friends isn't culturally relevant anymore. And I guess I misunderstood you when you said 'maybe we should see other people'. In my defence, you didn't specify those people shouldn't be other Nerdlys. And let's face it, take them away and the talent pool around here is non-existant. Getting a couple of laughs, Leon sighs. LEON But look, seriously, before we go any further, this seems as good a place as any for me to apologise to Maggie for everything that's happened between us these past few month. We've both been in the wrong and it's been rough for both of us, but I take full blame for what happened with Molly. Consider this an apology and an end to the whole thing. Sorry as I am, it's best for all concerned that we call it a day between us, all things considered. It was great while it lasted. The official split gets a big reaction from the females in the crowd at least. Leon sits quiet for a couple of seconds, before he finds his cheesiest smile and goes back to work. LEON OKAY! On with the show already I hear you cry and your cries have been answered! November Reign is a couple of weeks away, couldn't tell you in an exact number of days, but it's not too many. And as you all know, Sunday night, November 30th, it'll be yours truly challenging Tha Puerto Rican for the World Heavyweight Championship. And wrestling laws and regulations of protocol dictate that we've gotta come face to face at some point and talk about it all a little to try and get you all to part with your precious, precious money to watch us wrestle. So, what better time than right now? Without any further ado, let's bring out my guest in The Love Shack this evening... he is the WORLD Heavyweight Champion... THA... with an 'A', and That's Word... PPUUUUUEEEEEEERRTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOO RRRRRIIIIIIIICCAAAAAAAANN!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" "THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP..." *DUN DUN* "...IS..." *DUN* "...HERE!" With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role 2000" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and cheering. PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" throughout the song, while smoke fills the entryway and strobe lights appear on the entrance set. A few seconds elapse before the World Champion makes his way out. Dressed to the nines for this special appearance, Tha Puerto Rican strolls to the ring with the World Title resting on the shoulder of his $500 shirt. COLE Incase you missed it at the top of the show, big news concerning the well-being of Tha Puerto Rican, suffering a torn bicep at an OAOAST live event. Hopefully we'll hear a little more about that tonight, but he doesn't look too concerned around it all right now. Although, you can just about see, that bicep is taped up even out of competition. PRL climbs into the ring, taking a look around The Love Shack set as Leon goes to greet him with a handshake. A slightly awkward one between the two World Championship rivals, but a handshake nonetheless. PRL takes a seat and continues to look around the set, hard to tell if he's impressed or not, as Leon puts himself back behind his desk. LEON Alright, the World Champion everybody! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" LEON Champ, good to have you on the show. Uhm, make yourself comfortable... are you okay on there with the arm? THA PUERTO RICAN I'm fine, don't worry about it. LEON Alright, good to hear. Well, I'll admit, I'm not quite sure where to start here with you PR. You know how these things tend to go. A quip here, an insult there, BOOM, somebody goes through a table or something. And these things cost money, ya know. *knocks on the desk* So I'm gonna tread the thin ice and try and interview you like I would anyone else, because I know you're not exactly in a fighting state of mind right now. PRL raises an eyebrow and lowers his sunglasses. THA PUERTO RICAN How do you figure? LEON Well... I mean, look, we don't want it to break down into a fight anyway. Let's keep it civil. There's no need for any of that, here we are, two of the most charismatic men in the history of the OAOAST... "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" LEON ...it's good times, it's all good in the hood if you will. Now, PR, we'll get to November Reign in a minute, since that's what we're both here for. But, I guess I have to ask, get this out of the way straight away. How's the injury? THA PUERTO RICAN The injury's not an issue. And I'd rather not talk about it. LEON Oh. Okay, that's understandable and I really don't want to press the issue. But, you know, we're both men of the people. And since we're going to be opponents at November Reign and there's a conflict of interest, I decided rather than ask you questions, I'd ask... the PEOPLE'S questions! Sorry, couldn't resist that one. Anyway, the point is, I think the PEOPLE want to know what the extent of the injury is, know that you're okay and ready to go. THA PUERTO RICAN Leon, would you stop with the sympathy crap already!? The crowd is in shock! As is Leon! COLE Whoa. LEON Wait. What? I was just-- THA PUERTO RICAN Save it! You haven't said a single word to me, not so much as a 'Hi' or 'Hello', ever since I got kicked out of The Lightning Crew last year! Up until last week, you didn't so much as acknowledge that I existed! Now all of a sudden, you want to butter me up? Want to kiss my ass? Want to be my friend? All because you 'accidentally' hit me in the head with a steel chair! I'm sorry, but I don't become friends with just anybody! Uh-uh! Not anymore! Homie don't play that! LEON What was with the air quotes when you said 'accidentally'? I already told you, I didn't mean to hit you in the head with a steel chair! It was an accid-- THA PUERTO RICAN Sure. You didn't mean to do it. Because you're Leon Rodez, the happy-go-lucky nice guy who wouldn't hurt a fly! Oh yeah, Mr. Nice Guy. Uh-huh. You weren't trying to get a leg up on our Title Match at November Reign! No sir. No siree Bob! You weren't trying to make sure that I wasn't 100% heading into our big match-up! No way! It's not like you to attack me for momentary gain. Although I do seem to recall you trying to eliminate me from the Lethal Rumble Match earlier this year! You didn't seem to have a problem trying to get Stephen Joseph Popick's blood money didn't ya!? LEON P.R., it was the Lethal Rumble! It's every man for himself! I wasn't trying to win the $1 million bounty! PRL Oh sure. You say that you're a nice guy, but yet you were as greedy as everyone else in that match! So in addition to being a liar, a phony, and a cheap shot artist, you're also greedy! The façade is starting to disappear, Leon! Tha Puerto Rican, like an elephant, NEVER FORGETS! So cut the sympathy bull and be your real self! The crowd is torn. Some are booing, some are cheering. Tha Puerto Rican glares angrily at Leon. Rodez, usually very calm and relax, is a little bit miffed at PRL's comments towards him. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is very VERY annoyed with Leon Rodez right about now! LEON Okay. We lost last week. We could have become OAOAST One And Only World Tag Team Champions, but we didn't because of a mistake. I'm sorry. I don't know how many times I can say it before you believe me, but trust me, it was an accident. I didn't mean to do that. But that's in the past. No sense arguing about things which we can't undo. But we can now look to the future. In 3 weeks, I will be challenging you for the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship. It's gonna be my first OAOAST World Title Match in... well, gee, I don't know how long. You'd think with how rarely I've been getting them I'd remember such things. But it's been awhile, that's for sure. And I am very much looking forward to it, as I'm sure you are too. THA PUERTO RICAN Oh, Tha Puerto Rican is looking forward to this match! VERY much looking forward to this match! And I'm not going to let something as insignificant as a torn bicep stop me from going to Anaheim on November 30th! Tha Puerto Rican GUARAN-DAMN-TEES that he WILL defend the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship against you, Leon Rodez, at November Reign 2008! And that's the truth, Ruth! "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" THA PUERTO RICAN And Tha Puerto Rican is looking forward to this match, one-on-one, you and me, for several reasons. One: I'm looking forward to entertaining the millions... "...AND MILLIONS!" THA PUERTO RICAN (CONT'D) ...AAAAAND MILLIONS of Tha Puerto Rican's fans once again! Two: Tha Puerto Rican is looking forward to finishing out his Thanksgiving weekend with yet ANOTHER successful World Heavyweight Title defense! And three: for a very personal reason: You see, this will be the first time that Tha Puerto Rican and Leon Rodez will have met in the ring since AngleMania V, and that was on April 2, 2006. Over two years ago! Do you remember that match, Leon? Trump Plaza Hotel And Convention Center? Atlantic City, New Jersey? The greatest Ladder Match of all-time? The OAOAST 24/7 Championship was on the line. I had been the OAOAST 24/7 Champion for 360 days, the longest reigning 24/7 Champion in One And Only AngleSault Thread history! You remember? You remember how we tore the roof off of the Trump Plaza Hotel And Convention Center for 30 minutes straight? How we both bled, how we both sweated, how we both endured tremendous pain? How you were able to climb up the ladder with one good leg and obtain the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt and end my reign almost a year after it started? You remember that, right? Leon nods his head, while the crowd cheers, remembering that classic Ladder Match. THA PUERTO RICAN Well, do you also remember how you needed help to win? Do you remember that it took not one, not two, not three, but FOUR guys to hold me back while you climbed the ladder!? Do you remember that Otaku II, Brickston, Spanish Fly and Colombian Heat all had to hold me so that I wouldn't get out of the ropes before you grabbed the 24/7 Championship belt!? Do you remember THAT part of the match, Leon!? Or have you conveniently blocked that part out? LEON Hey, I'm not going to deny that. I know how I won the match! THA PUERTO RICAN Yes. Yes. But Leon, think about this: one of those guys has been fired from the OAOAST. Two of those guys hate you as much as they hate me. And one of those guys is my BEST FRIEND now! So, tell me, Leon, who is going to help you win this time? The In-Crowd? HA! Bohemoth couldn't beat me last month! I've gotten the better of Zack in the past! And your buddy Sly is M.I.A. too! So, Leon, you won't have ANYBODY there that will hold me back this time! As a matter of fact, you have yet to actually PIN me or make me SUBMIT, and it's not like that's going to change at November Reign! So, deal with it, pink boy! The crowd is shocked by PRL's attitude. THA PUERTO RICAN So, Tha Puerto Rican says that he is looking forward to this match, so that he can beat you fair and square, WITHOUT any outside interference, and prove to the world, once and for all, just who the SUPERIOR athlete is! No ifs, ands, or buts about it! LEON Boy, you sure are cranky today! THA PUERTO RICAN Oh, I'm very cranky, Leon. Very much so. You see, I have been the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion for 8 months now. And it has been the greatest 8 months of my entire life! And the thought that my World Heavyweight Title reign could come to an end at the hands of Leon freakin' Rodez is quite laughable. And in fact, it's downright INSULTING! For the past two weeks, all you've been hearing is about change. Change this, change that. Change is gonna come. Things are going to change! You go to the outside world, and change seems to be the word of the day. The word that is on everybody's mind. Well, change might be good for the rest of the United States of America. But here in the One And Only AngleSault Thread? Eh...I don't think so! I am allergic to change! I like things to stay the same! I think things have been going along pretty damn good for the past 8 months! I wouldn't have it any other way! I like the PRL Era, and I intend for it to continue PAST November Reign and into 2009, hell 2010, 2011, 2012, 2016, 2020, 2040! I want it to continue until I am 56 and I can retire with the belt and then hold a special retirement ceremony like my name is Ric Flair, and everybody in the arena will chant, 'THANK YOU P.R.! THANK YOU P.R.! THANK YOU P.R.! THANK YOU P.R.!' Leon can only raise an eyebrow after all of that. LEON Ooookay. THA PUERTO RICAN The fact of the matter is this: Leon Rodez, for all of your talent...you are just not in my league. "ooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!" THA PUERTO RICAN The fact that you've gotten this far is ridiculous. And I feel only a little bit of sadness for having to crush your dream. For I know all too well what it's like to have my dream crushed again and again and again. LEON And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again-- THA PUERTO RICAN ENOUGH! All right, Leon Rodez. You donkey raping shit eater! This is real talk! Starting right here, right now! You wanna know exactly WHY you have rarely gotten a shot at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship, while I got shot after shot after shot after shot after shot after shot after shot after shot after shot until I finally won the belt? It's because I WORKED MY ASS OFF! I never took my eyes off of the prize! I gave it my all night in and night out everyday for 10 FUCKING years of my LIFE! And the OAOAST Board of Directors saw this. They recognized this. They saw my drive, my focus, my determination. And they rewarded me for it. Ever since I came here, my goal has been one thing: to become the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. And while I might have gotten sidetracked along the way several times, my main goal, my reason to travel, to work out, to sleep in hotels, to endure pain, was so that I can one day raise *this*! Tha Puerto Rican raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt into the air with his right hand. THA PUERTO RICAN The OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship is my heart, my mind, my body, my soul. It is my motivation. My wife. My son. My daughter. My pet. It is MY LIFE! And I cannot live without it! And it is EXACTLY this way of thinking that I have, that all of the great World Champions of the past have had, that has gotten me to where I am today. What, pray tell, Leon, is your motivation? Huh? Leon, what is your main goal? To get more laughs than Chicks Over Dicks on any given week? Which by the way, you are only successful at HALF of the time! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Leon raises an eyebrow and goes to rebutt, but PRL isn't in the mood to hear it. THA PUERTO RICAN Is your only goal in life to be a standup comedian who also happens to wrestle? That's your problem, Leon. You're not FOCUSED! You aren't thinking about becoming World Heavyweight Champion! All you care about is making these people laugh! And I'm not saying that that's a bad thing. Hey, I like to make the people laugh too! But there is a time and a place for everything. You can't be Mr. Comedian 24/7! It just doesn't work! People don't take you seriously if you're a comic EVERY single minute of EVERY single day! Think about it. What have you done your entire career since you came to the OAOAST? Let's see: you've feuded with a right wing Christian fundamentalist who somehow became a stockbroker from Wall Street. You've dated a glue sniffing Spanish Barbie Doll and feuded with her bull dyke girlfriend. You've competed in really weird and sometimes funny matches, whoopie. You've teamed up with your sister who is really your niece and her boyband tag team, who by the way, I HAVE BEATEN in the past, thank you very much! You've managed to sleep your way through 3/8s of the entire Nerdly family! And you've joined up with Zack Malibu, Bohemoth and Sly Sommers to reform a group whose peak was SIX YEARS AGO! THAT'S IT! That's all you've done your entire OAOAST career! THAT'S all there is to it! THAT'S your life in a nutshell over the past FIVE years! It's the Leon Rodez Traveling Circus, and you're the ringmaster! Now tell me, Leon, does ANY of that scream to you 'This Guy Is A Future World Heavyweight Champion'!? ANY of that at all? It doesn't, right? And it SHOULDN'T! And the OAOAST Board of Directors knows this and THAT'S WHY you have rarely gotten a World Heavyweight Championship shot! Because you haven't done anything to DESERVE IT! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" At this point, some fans are starting to turn on Tha Puerto Rican. While other fans are silent, unsure of how to react to PRL now. Leon Rodez just sits in his seat, letting this all soak in. PRL calms down. COLE Wow. PRL takes a deep breath, and continues speaking. THA PUERTO RICAN But hey, hey, hey. Don't worry, man! Keep that chin up, bucko! You've got your place in the OAOAST! Don't fret! You are Mr. Comedian! You're the guy who tells a joke or does something funny, the people laugh, they have a good time, blah, blah, blah, and then they get ready for the main attraction, which over the past 8 months has been me! You ARE funny! I never said that you weren't. You're just...well...hmmm...how should I put this? You're just...not World Heavyweight Champion material! Leon perks up at this. THA PUERTO RICAN Now, now, now. That's not necessarily a bad thing. But people have their place in life. Yours is to be the 'Funny Guy'. You crack people up, make them smile, make them forget about their little foibles for a little while. And then they move on. And they cheer me. And I entertain them by laying the smackdown on some jabroni's candy ass! And then we do the same thing all over again the next night! Lather, rinse, repeat. I mean, Leon, come on! Even in your little group this holds true! In The In Crowd, think about it: Zack Malibu is the intelligent, brave, handsome leader. Bohemoth is the cool, suave, sophisticated, charismatic, muscular enforcer who wears suits. PIMP suits at that! Sly Sommers is the serious, calculated, cerebral assassin technical wrestler. And you? Well…you're just the 'Funny One'. The comedian of the group. You're the court jester. You're the Flavor Flav of The In Crowd. And that's all you are. And that's all you should ever aspire to be, Mr. Comedian! Leon isn't exactly pleased with PRL's comments. THA PUERTO RICAN Hey, there's nothing wrong with being funny. We all like to laugh! It's healthy to laugh! They say 'Laughter is the best medicine!' after all! But Will Ferrell comedies DON'T win Best Picture Awards at the Academy Awards. "Weird" Al Yankovich songs DON'T win Record Of The Year Awards at the Grammy Awards. And Leon Rodez DOESN'T win World Heavyweight Championships! And that's just the way it is! "YEEEAAHHH!"/"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" THA PUERTO RICAN So, be grateful that you're funny. Even if you are a joke yourself. Keep on trying to reach to the top. You won't make it, but the journey will be fun to watch. I am living out my dream. And it is NOT going to end at YOUR hands! Your dream will continue just being a dream. That's it. It will never come true. Because you're just not cut out for it! You're not World Championship material! You're a joke! You're a funny guy, Mr. Comedian. But still, you're a joke! You will never win 'The Big One'! And the sooner you accept it, the better you will be in the long run, okay? Okay. So, just be content on being the 'Funny Guy' or Mr. Comedian. Because that's as high as you will ever go. Got that? That's all Leon Rodez will ever be known for or known as! Is it sinking in yet? Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? You will never win 'The Big One'! Are we clear on this? In conclusion, Leon Rodez, to quote a famous professional wrestler: KNOW YOUR ROLE AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH! The crowd is stunned by what Tha Puerto Rican has just said. Leon sits in place, sighing. COLE Tha Puerto Rican just vented on Leon Rodez! Leon runs his hands through his hair. "LE-ON!" "LE-ON!" "LE-ON!" "LE-ON!" Leon looks at the crowd. PRL ignores the chants. Leon looks down at the mat, and then looks up at Tha Puerto Rican. Tha Puerto Rican slings the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt back over his right shoulder. THA PUERTO RICAN So what jokes are you going to make this time? Come on, Mr. Comedian! What cracks will you make about me? What witty retort will you make? Because that's all you ever do in these situations! You don't get angry. You never do! You just make jokes! So, what'cha got for me this time? Let me have it! I dare ya! Do your worst, Leon! BRING IT ON! Show me what'cha can! Leon stares at the smirking PRL, and then brings the microphone to his lips. LEON You know what PR... I honestly, honestly, didn't want it to be like this. I was looking forward to a fair, friendly match, between two guys these people could get behind. But I guess you've got other ideas. THA PUERTO RICAN These are MY PEOPLE! MINE! A surprisingly mixed reaction goes up, as PRL beats his chest. LEON You know, I thought this might be a bad idea. But let me tell you something PR. You call me 'Mr. Comedian' and make out like I'm a joke, that's fine. I've been called far worse and been accused of much worse on top. But if you keep prodding and probing, you're gonna find out that I am far from a joke. If you keep tugging on the tiger's tail, eventually it'll bite back. And then the joke will be squarely on you, when you're forced to eat your words and watch me take that OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship away from you! Because, yeah, I like to have fun and I like to entertain. I do this Love Shack thing and crack wise with people, entertain the crowds, have a laugh and a joke with them. But don't kid yourself, because I've worked damn hard to be where I am as well! My main focus might not have been the World Heavyweight Championship nearly as much as it should have in my career and maybe that's my fault. That's the past. The thing you need to remember is, my focus is on the World Title here and now. An... THA PUERTO RICAN Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah!! Gimme a BREAK, Leon! You know what, I am sorry I even goaded you into this, because you've just proved to the entire world why comedy is your strong suit! Stick to the jokes already! I mean, come on, you're fooling NOBODY, Leon. You talk about 'tugging the tiger's tail', and I'm sure you've had that done to you a whole bunch of times, but incase you hadn't noticed, my first name doesn't begin with an 'M', so you're out of luck there! And let's face it, as far as you and the Nerdlys go, you've got about as good of a success rate with them as you do with challenging for the World Title. Maggie cared so much about you, she ran to ME for help when she won the Women's Title! Remember that!? "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE This is getting really personal! It was only a matter of time with these two! THA PUERTO RICAN Leon, you're not fooling me. You're not fooling these people. You're all talk! What were you gonna say next, huh? "You won't like me when I'm angry!" Any more cliches to throw at me!? LEON (chuckles) And to think, people said you've changed. THA PUERTO RICAN I HAVE changed! I'm the World Heavyweight CHAMPION! LEON Yeah, but you're still the same overbearing asshole I beat at AngleMania V. Some of the crowd even cheer that remark, which leads PRL to drop his title belt and start rolling up his sleeves! When he gets to the left one he has some difficulty with the tape around his left bicep, which gives a sea of referees and officials a little more time to start hitting the ring... ...and just in time, as PRL SLAPS Leon across the face!!!!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" THA PUERTO RICAN COME ON! COME ON HOTSHOT, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT THAT!? Leon, having been slapped one too many times already recently for his liking, does something about it alright. He drops his microphone, agonising over his decision for a second, BEFORE JUMPING THA PUERTO RICAN!!!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE IT'S BREAKING DOWN!! ALL HELL IS BREAKING LOOSE IN THE LOVE SHACK!!!!! The referee and officials are right on hand and hit the ring quickly to pull PRL and Leon apart before they can land more than a few glancing blows on each other. Leon is pulled away and he quickly holds up his hands, showing that he's cool and isn't about to jump back into the fight again. PRL on the other hand is having to be restrained, even with his bad arm, which one official accidently grabs causing PRL to flinch and take a swing at him! "LET THEM GO!" "LET THEM GO!" "LET THEM GO!" "LET THEM GO!" COLE It's November Reign come early and these people don't want it to end, but I don't think they're going to get their wish! Leon stands back with his hands on his hips, looking disappointed with himself at what happened. Meanwhile the referees and officials are able to get PRL out of the ring, The World Champion still fuming as the path to the ring is blocked. Snatching his World Title belt from one of the referees, PRL points the finger at Leon and tells him he's got his coming, before being marched off to the back. COLE I have no idea what has gotten into the World Heavyweight Champion tonight. We are seeing shades of the 'old' PRL, shades that I hoped that man had gotten rid of forever! Leon Rodez, provoked by the World Champion on his own show and all hell broke loose from there. A replay of the fuse-igniting SLAP play as order is restored live in the arena. COLE I... I really don't know what to make of that. All Leon did was ask PRL about his injury and the World Champion flew off the handle, just laying into Leon in true PRL fashion. And you have to question what state Tha Puerto Rican is really in after what we've just seen tonight. Because from where I'm sitting, it looks like maybe, just maybe, from the actions of the injured World Champion, he's starting to feel a little threatened. Those aren't the actions of Tha Puerto Rican of 2008 ladies and gentlemen. Those were the actions of the old PRL, actions we've seen in the past when he felt the odds were closing in on him. Back to live action and with PRL having been escorted backstage, a calmer Leon Rodez leaves, still minded by two officials just incase. Leon seems to look disappointed as much as anything still. COLE And this wasn't what Leon was hoping for out of PRL in the run-up to November Reign, I'm sure. Or of himself for taking the bait. Folks, we'll be right back on HeldDOWN~!, stay tuned! COMMERCIAL

Back from commercial, God of Thunder is playing TK out to the ring, as he approaches the ring area. COLE And we're back here on HeldDOWN~!, as Thunderkid, one half of the World tag team champions, set to square off against Denzel Spencer, already in the ring! TK climbs into the ring and poses on the buckles with his belt, drawing boos. He then hands it to the referee, who calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* TK and Denzel circle the ring, and tie up. TK grabs a side headlock, then takes Denzel down to the mat. TK cinches in on the headlock, then Denzel rolls him over... 1... 2... TK rolls back over, then tries to pull down more, but Denzel slips free and hooks in a hammerlock! COLE Ooh, nice escape there by Denzel! TK quickly gets to the ropes, then makes his way to his feet after Denzel breaks. The two move in on one another again, and this time TK delivers a kick to the gut, then whips Denzel into the ropes. TK goes for a clothesline, but Denzel ducks, and takes down TK with an armdrag! TK quickly gets to his feet, and gets caught in a drop toe hold! TK gets to his feet again, and Denzel hits him with a dropkick, sending him over the top to the floor! COLE Nice string of offense by Denzel, and TK has to regroup! Denzel cuts TK off as he gets onto the apron, but TK grabs him around the head with both hands and drops to the floor, hanging Denzel up! COACH But a nice move there, let's see if he can follow up! TK picks up Denzel and hammers away with European uppercuts, then brings him out and executes a gutwrench suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! TK gets to his feet, and drops a knee to the sternum! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! TK picks Denzel up, and whips him into the corner, then charges...but Denzel moves out of the way! COLE Nobody home on the corner charge! COACH And TK went right with that right shoulder into the corner! Denzel grabs the arm, and starts delivering blows to the shoulder, then wrings the arm, stepping out to the apron, and dropping to the floor! COLE Nice strategy by Denzel, working over an appendage of the bigger, stronger TK! Denzel hooks the arm behind the back of TK, and scoops him up, slamming him onto it! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Denzel picks up TK, and wrings the arm once again, but gets backed into the ropes by TK, who then whips Denzel into the ropes, and plants his left elbow into his sternum! COLE And a BIG elbow from TK! TK retreats to a corner to rest his arm, before eventually making his way back to Denzel and tossing him to the outside. TK lets Denzel climb to the apron, then delivers a forearm blow to the chest! He then snapmares Denzel back into the ring, drops an elbow, and covers... 1... 2... Kickout! TK picks up Denzel and attempts to ram him into the buckles, but Denzel blocks, and rams TK instead! Denzel delivers right hands, then sets up an Irish whip, but TK reverses, and attempts a clothesline, but Denzel ducks, and hits a flying bodypress! 1... 2... Kickout! TK gets to his feet in time to floor Denzel with a clothesline! COLE And TK looking really sharp in this match! TK dumps Denzel to the outside once again, and this time follows him out, grabbing him around the waist and ramming him back first into the apron, then lifting him in the air for a PRESS SLAM~! COLE No, not on the floor! However, Denzel manages to wiggle free, and delivers some right hands, then grabs TK in a side headlock, but TK shoves him off into the ringpost! COACH But just when you think Denzel catches a break, TK comes right back! TK tosses Denzel back inside, then rolls inside, and scoops him up, executing a FALLAWAY SLAM~! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! TK then whips Denzel into the ropes, and catches him with a powerslam! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! TK climbs to the top rope, but takes too much time in doing so, and Denzel shakes the ropes, causing TK to rack himself! Denzel then leaps high for a dropkick, knocking TK to the outside! COLE And that may have been the break that Denzel needed! COACH Mistake there by TK, too busy going back and forth with the fans as he climbed the ropes! Denzel catches his breath, then takes a couple steps back, then does a HANDS-FREE SOMERSAULT PLANCHA~! onto TK! COLE Denzel going for it all, and he got it! Denzel picks up TK and tosses him back inside, then climbs to the top rope, and hits a MISSILE DROPKICK~! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! Denzel delivers a foot to the gut, then hits TK with a SCISSOR KICK~! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Denzel then scoops TK onto his shoulders, and goes into an AIRPLANE SPIN~! COLE And an airplane spin! How about this? Denzel drops TK forwardonto his back, holding onto his legs, then executing a rolling cradle! 1... 2... Kickout! Denzel whips TK into the corner, then goes for the handspring elbow, but TK moves, then runs to the ropes, flooring him with a BICYCLE KICK~! COLE And what a KICK from TK! COACH That's got to be it! 1... 2... NO! Denzel gets the shoulder up! COLE But no, Denzel comes out! TK picks up Denzel, and hooks him for the SCORPION DEATHDROP~!!!!!11111, once again taking time to play to the crowd. Denzel kicks up off the buckles, flipping behind the back of TK, holding onto him, scooping him up, and delivering the CARRIBEAN COMPACTOR~!!!!!11111 COLE And Denzel with the Compactor! 1... 2... 3!!! COLE HE GOT HIM! COACH I don't believe it. BUFFER The winner of the match...DENNNNNNNNNNZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLL SSSSSSSSSSSSSPENCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! COLE What a huge win for Denzel Spencer, a big upset here on HeldDOWN~!, getting a fall on a member of the Deadly Alliance, Thunderkid! COACH I really just don't know what to say here, Cole...I can't believe it! You got it right, a BIG upset! Denzel celebrates in the aisle, as TK just realizes what happened, and holds his head in his hands in the ring. COLE Denzel Spencer getting on a roll here in the OAOAST, a big win here on HeldDOWN~! Right now, let's take a break and we'll be back with more HD~! in a minute! COMMERCAIL

-The screen fades from black to SOPHIE GREY!~! walking through the halls. She jots down random notes on her clipboard as she walks around a corner, straight into AUSTIN "RAGDOLL" BAKER!~ Sophie lets out a small shriek as Austin smiles slightly. It's been two weeks since his match against Jereme at the Halloween Spectacular, and he STILL hasn't washed off his make-up and changed out of his costume. Sophie's eyes are wide and full of terror as Austin steps towards her, backing her into the wall. RAGDOLL ...Hi. SOPHIE B-b-bonjour, monsieur. RAGDOLL So...Josie has booked Jereme against CMJ once again, has she? SOPHIE Oui RAGDOLL Now...come 'ere. -Ragdoll steps straight towards Sophie, before brandishing a box cutter. Sophie starts to shriek, but Ragdoll grabs her by the cheeks, silencing her. Tears begin welling in Sophie's eyes as Ragdoll raises the box cutter to her face. RAGDOLL There we go...Now...shh-shh-shhhhh...Now. When I was a kid, I had a slight...problem...with imitating movies that I had seen. Let's take for example...I dunno...The King of Comedy...When I was a kid - -Sophie begins to struggle, but Ragdoll holds her in place against the wall. RAGDOLL ...Ok?...When I was a kid, I would imitate The King of Comedy. I would set-up audiences in the basement and perform comedy acts to them. Y'see, I related to certain characters...I wanted to be them, y'understand? But my father...being the...conventional type that he was, didn't understand me. He wouldn't laugh at my jokes...no...he'd laugh at me! He called ME a joke. Do you have any idea what it's like, Sophie? To have someone yo-...hold still...- someone you love think of you as a joke? It's become my biggest fear in life...to have people think of me as a joke. ...Do you think I'm a joke? -Sophie shakes her head slowly. RAGDOLL ...Well...that's a plus. Dontcha think? -Sophie nods slightly. RAGDOLL So...I came out of retirement to wrestle in the OAOAST...and so far, I've only had one match. I'm traveling around the U.S. with nothing to show for it...I have a beautiful wife and a daughter at home...and I have nothing to show for it! It's enough to make someone go INSANE! -Ragdoll begins to giggle slightly as Sophie shakes her head, mumbling things. SOPHIE Just l-let me g-g-go, Austin...Please... RAGDOLL Ahhhh-ha-ha-haaaa, theeeeeeere's the English...I want YOU to tell Josie - in whichever language you prefer...that...I want to be in the Intercontinental Title match at November Reign... -Sophie once again tries to move away, but once again, Ragdoll stops her. RAGDOLL Look at me, Sophie...Look at meeeeee. LOOK. AT. ME! -Sophie stops struggling as Ragdoll gets within an inch of her face. RAGDOLL You tell Josie...I am going to be in that match, wether she wants me to be in it or not. I will be at November Reign...and I WILL walk out...the Intercontinental Champion. -Ragdoll suddenly shoots in, giving Sophie a huge kiss on the lips. Ragdoll suddenly breaks the kiss and walks off, leaving Sophie sobbing and shivering against the wall, just as the screen fades to black. LATER TONIGHT THE LOVE SHACK FEATURING SPECIAL GUEST PRL TONIGHT! COMMERCIAL

To the back we go, where Mr. Dick continues his race for a cure. This time he encounters “Sweet” Lucius Soul and Rio de Janerio, the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. RICO Hey, mang. Check who it is. The Dick who talked smack about us last week. SOUL Oh, yeah. Skinny black dude and fat Brazilian, wasn’t it? I remember hearing a little something-something ‘bout that. MR. DICK I meant that with all due respect. See, like Mr. Dick, you guys have had your fair share of run-ins with Krista. You know how it is facing that bitch. RICO That chica is like a pitbull, mang. Once she sinks her teeth into you it’s over. MR. DICK And that’s why I’m here, I'm reaching out to ya'll cause you understand my struggle. This isn't just my fight. This is everyones. RICO What a struggle it is, mang. You dont wanna go barkin up that tree. MR.DICK Forget barking, she bites! She took a bite of out of my dick and I need… SOUL Say no more, brother. You’ve come to the right place. Sweetness got yo fix covered. Name it and we got it. Embarrassed by his problem Mr. Dick whispers his need and the Soul Man jumps back aghast. SOUL Whoa, brother, we ain’t got that. Naw, son, naw. And shouldn't you be up in a plastic bubble? Why you walkin around the general public all willy nilly like that? We got futures, cousin! Futures! You gonna destroy us all! I've been in jail, hit by two hurricanes, and shot at by the police, and what you got still scares the life outta me, hustlah. MR. DICK I thought you said… SOUL Not if it’s legal we don’t. But I tell you what, baby. We sympathize with your plight. So here’s the name of a couple of mofos that might be able to help. Now they be a little freaky and shit, but they should be able to provide some relief. MR. DICK I can handle freaky. Soul hands MD a piece of paper and the Human Hard On rushes to his next destination as the MGHWC go back to chilling in the corner. COLE I hope its not the same guy I went to for my teeth whitening. I've been cleaning the semen off for weeks! COACH

The OAOAST Presents, Live On Pay Per View... "A reign of tyranny... a reign of terror..." November 30th, 2008; Live from Anaheim, California COLE Folks, we've already heard about PRL and sadly, we have another injury update for you right now. Last week in one on one competition we saw Spencer Reiger taking on one half of D*LUX, Shayne Brave, in what was a fast-paced, competitive match. Unfortunately though, the match would end on a distinctly sour note. And as we take you back to footage from last week, we'd like to advise you that this footage may contain scenes distressing to some of our younger viewers and viewer discretion is therefore advised. As another replay of the landing plays, Shayne's arm is highlighted at the point that it hits the mat, bending in an unnatural position under the force of the rest of his body-weight. COLE There you see the landing and as you can see, a very gruesome sight. And the bad news for Shayne Brave is that during the week, doctors confirmed breaks to the wristbone in two seperate places, for which Shayne underwent surgery this past Wednesday in his hometown of Detroit. His recovery time is estimated to be in the region of 4 months and we absolutely wish Shayne all the best and hope to see him back in the ring very soon. Very sad injury news Coach. As Michael turns to his broadcast partner, he's understandably surprised to see him with a big smile on his face. COACH COLE What the hell are you smiling about? COACH Do you believe me yet? COLE What? What are you talking about? Believe what!? COACH That Los Conquistadors are voodoo practitioners. COLE *slaps forehead* Coach, what happened last week had nothing to do with Los Conquistadors. It was a freak accident! As we've been given a stark reminder of not once but twice in the past week, unfortunately the OAOAST Superstars take on the risk of injury every time they step into a wrestling ring and that's why we encourage all of our fans not to try this at home. COACH Or not to mess with anyone who practices voodoo. COLE That's ridiculous. Voodoo is like magic, it's not real. COACH Don't let Los Conquistadors here you say that. Hey, you don't think PRL did something to offend them during the week, do you? It'd explain an awful lot. COLE No it wouldn't. Stop being such a moron. And with that we go to the ring, in which stands a nervous looking young woman in non-descript wrestling attire and an even more non-descript introduction. I.e., no introduction. Instead she stares nervously at the entrance way, as "Wildside" by Motley Crue begins to power through the P.A system! Making her way out through the entrance, a sinister smirk adorns the face of the ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns, Malaysia Nerdly. She stalks slowly to the ring as her young counterpart looks on like a deer caught in the headlights. COACH Speaking of serious injuries. COLE Please don't even joke about that. Malaysia slowly climbs the ring steps, stopping halfway up to savour the fear on the woman in the ring's face. She then enters the ring and takes a microphone from the first person scared enough by her stare to run and grab it for her. COLE As we told you last week, Malaysia Nerdly set to take on Jade Rodez-Duncan at November Reign for the Women's Championship, in a 'California Street Fight'. Malaysia has promised us a 'preview' of that here tonight, which doesn't bode well for this young woman in the ring. Still smirking, Malaysia circles around the woman who is frozen to the spot, afraid to move. Malaysia takes a lock of her hair and curls it around her fingers which freaks her out even more before the imposing Malaysia steps in front of her. MALAYSIA What's.. your.. name? WOMAN My... my name is Lizzie... Lizzie Sampson. Malaysia does another circle which the girl finally introduces herself. MALAYSIA Tell me Lizzie... do you like to roleplay? The nervous girl doesn't answer. MALAYSIA I like to roleplay Lizzie... I like it a LOT. So tonight, you're going to roleplay with me Lizzie... tonight, you're not going to be Lizzie... tonight you're going to be Jade... and we're going to have SO much fun together, 'Jade'... I just KNOW IT... *THUD!* "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The young brunette hits the mat, courtesy of a shot to the side of the head with the microphone! *DINGDINGDING!* With the bell sounded and the 'preview match' officially under way, Malaysia kneels down and wraps her forearm around Lizzie's throat. Referee Mike Chioda drops down instinctively but can't do anything to stop Malaysia from choking her helpless victim, much to her delight. COACH I'm telling you Michael, Jade's been living on borrowed time for the longest time. But come November Reign we might see the end of her once and for all. COLE Malaysia, as you can see here, can do WHATEVER she wants at November Reign, with no risk of being disqualified! And I dread to think how dangerous this woman is capable of being and how carried away she could get! Malaysia eventually relinquishes her choke and lets Lizzie go. Struggling for air, she crawls to the ropes to try and get out of the ring. Malaysia stops her by treading on her hand though. She then steps on the other hand to pin Lizzie down, before reaching down and pulling on her hair!! Lizzie screams in pain as her hair is pulled out by the roots, transfixing Malaysia once she lets go. Unpicking the hair from around her fingers, Malaysia takes a deep, ecstatic breath. COLE This woman is sick, there's no two ways about it. COACH What can I say, she enjoys her work! COLE Something went wrong in that woman's head somewhere during the course of her life and she is disturbed, depraved and she gets off on other people's pain and suffering. She's a monster, in more ways than one! Helping 'Jade' to her feet, as she keeps calling her, Malaysia winds back and pops the young woman with a forearm to send her lurching back to the canvas. COACH I know this is a 'preview', but if Jade is for some reason dumb enough to be watching this, she oughta turn the TV off, 'case she gets nightmares. Malaysia picks Lizzie up again, striking her across the back with a forearm. The poor girl falls to her knees and Malaysia grabs hold of her from behind, pulling her up and applying a fishhook, encouraging 'Jade' to smile for Mommy! Lizzie looks like she's had just about enough, but Malaysia lets her go before she can submit and shoves her face into the canvas. As she stands over the young woman, Malaysia smiles a much more satisfied smile now. COLE Malaysia has nothing to prove here. This is about fear. Malaysia is trying to strike fear into the Women's Champion. COACH Yeah and it ain't for any added advantage, cause she don't need it. She just wants Jade nice and scared so she can have more fun with her! Stepping out of the ring, Malaysia now climbs back down the steps and slowly makes her way to the ring apron. There, she routes under the ring and re-emerges with a metal trash can lid. Malaysia slides back into the ring, staring at her reflection in the lid for a few seconds. Picking herself up, little Lizzie doesn't realise what's waiting as she turns around... *CLANG!* ...AS MALAYSIA CREAMS HER WITH THE LID TO THE FOREHEAD!!!!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Oh my god. Malaysia carefully sets down the trash can lid, then makes her way over to the corner to retrieve her cat o'nine tails. COLE Come on now, this young woman has done nothing to deserve this. Enough is enough. Just pin her and be done with it. COACH Naw naw, I don't think Malaysia's preview involves pinfalls. Approaching Lizzie with the whip, Malaysia wards off referee Chioda as he tries to make her see some reason. All she sees is a prone unconscious woman and a whip in her hand though. Uncurling the many tails of the whip, Malaysia sizes her opponent up... *THWACK!* "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...before LASHING HER ACROSS THE BACK!!! That seems to wake Lizzie up... *THWACK!* "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...just in time for another whipping!!! Lizzie writhes in pain, as Malaysia asks 'Jade' if she's 'having fun yet'. She then uncoils the whip again... *THWACK!* "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...before lashing her again!!! With the poor woman nearly in tears, Malaysia then sets herself across her back and clasps the whip with both hands, placing it across the throat and applying a sadistic choke with the weapon!! And wisely the young woman quickly taps out to end the match! *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds, ending Malaysia's fun, apparantly before she's ready as she refuses to release the choke just yet. Big smile on her face, she makes Lizzie suffer a few seconds more until her face starts to discolour, before finally releasing her. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, MALAYSIA NERDLY! Boos ring out, as Malaysia turns over and admires the markings she's created on the innocent young opponent's back. COLE I don't know if this poor woman knew what she was getting herself into, but one thing is for certain, Jade Rodez-Duncan certainly does now. And she must be wondering just how she can survive as Women's Champion, against this sick individual, at November Reign! COACH Nevermind the Women's Championship, how's she going to survive in one piece? This was just a preview, Michael. Who knows just what Malaysia's got in store for Jade when the real thing rolls around on November 30th? We might have to enforce an over 18s only entrance policy at the door because it could get real crazy, real quick! Starting to come down, Malaysia breathes deeply as she leaves the ring, stroking her cat o'nine tails against her body as she heads to the back. NOVEMBER REIGN ***WOMENS TITLE: CALIFORNIA STREET FIGHT*** MALAYSIA VS JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN NOVEMBER 30th 2008 TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT SUBMISSIONS COUNT ANYWHERE KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS MISTER DICK TONIGHT

OAOAST SAY WHAAAAAT? In the United Arab Emirates the OAOAST gets higher ratings than midnight reruns of Boy Meets World! Backstage, Malaysia and an itchy Mr. Dick wander in search of the trainer’s room, passing various individuals (none of whom important or they’d be name!) stifling their laughter along the way. COACH Look at those idiots laughing at another person’s misfortunes, Cole. COLE Maybe if your boy wasn’t such a dick they wouldn‘t be. Inside the trainer’s room they find Drs. Max Anderson and Steven Pigley, The Love Doctors. MR. DICK Did you see the video? PIGLEY Yep. MR. DICK So I guess you know why I’m here. ANDERSON To say hello? MR. DICK No, you sarcastic bastard. I need you to subscribe something for my problem. ANDERSON Not with that kind of attitude. MR. DICK Wait a minute. Doctors aren’t supposed to let their personal beliefs get in the way of doing their job. PIGLEY We also don’t go around handing out prescriptions like candy either. I mean, what if a guy wanted somas when a little Tylenol PM would do? MR. DICK (sigh) Are you gonna help me get rid of these creepy crawlers or not? ANDERSON My God, man, you mean you haven’t gotten that taken care of yet? MR. DICK And pay out the urethra?! Do you know how much it costs to see a doctor?! ANDERSON Yeah, we’re doctors. PIGLEY And I also moonlight as a Chicago radio personality. Listen to the Love Line on local Chicago radio! MR. DICK (cupping ear) Hey, you guys hear that? The Doctors of Doctornomics lean in for a listen… * WHAP * …and get smacked across the face! MR. DICK That’s the sound of my patience wearing off. MD sends the license M.D. Pigley flying across the trainer’s table while Malaysia GORILLA PRESSES Anderson onto the table itself! COLE Hey, come on! That’s uncalled for! COACH No, that’s what they get for jerking Mr. Dick around. COLE No homo? COACH No, there's one backstage actually. Josh Matthews is backstage with the Deadly Alliance. (LOL JOSH U WAS SONNED) JOSH Here with the Deadly Alliance, and these guys are on a roll, promising a fifth member to their group in the very near future, and last week, a big defense for the tag team champions, as they defeated the two men who will be meeting in the main event at November Reign, Leon Rodez and Tha Puerto Rican, thanks to some miscommunication on the part of the challengers. REJECT Forget about that, Josh...talk about how I laid in wait for PRL to get to his feet. Talk about how I sprung into PRL, and laid him out with my Eulogy. And talk about how I, Reject, scored a 1-2-3 count on YOUR World Heavyweight champion just last week. As a matter of fact, I now hold victories over both PRL and Leon Rodez. That should be me in that World title match. JOSH Nontheless, TK in action tonight against Denzel Spencer, a man who gave Sandman9000 a real test at the Halloween Spectacular. TK It may have been a test, Josh, but the Sandman passed with flying colors, and now, Denzel, I'm coming to pick up his extra credit. JOSH Alf, how's the recruitment going? ALF It's going great, Josh. We're getting closer by the day to adding that fifth member, and we feel like we've got strong consideration from the three recruits we talked to last week. So, we've set up a little "audition", you could say, for HeldDOWN~! on Thanksgiving night, between our three recruits. JOSH You mean, like, a match? ALF Like, yeah! A match! A triple threat match, which we have got cleared with President Baker, it'll be Bohemoth vs Ned Blanchard vs "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez, on Thanksgiving HeldDOWN~! *crowd cheers* ALF And we'll find out who really wants that spot in the Deadly Alliance. JOSH Well, there you have it, a bombshell announcement from Alf, a triple threat match set up of Thanksgiving HeldDOWN~! Let's go back to the ring!

"We're running with the Shadows Of The Night So baby take my hand, you'll be all right Surrender all your dreams to me tonight They'll come true in the end" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Everyone who's booing "Shadows Of The Night" is booing Pat Benetar. And anyone who's booing Pat Benetar is no friend of mine. But also, they are booing Landon Maddix as he makes his way out onto the stage having presumably made a second trip back to the locker room to collect his sleeveless black trenchcoat. Landon does a quick 360 to show himself off, arms outstretched, but clearly isn't in the mood for too much showmanship. Megan follows, but isn't really needed to put Landon over tonight, because James Blonde is on hand to provide the applause and wasted instance for respect from the crowd. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen your following tag team contest is set for one fall! Introducing team number one, CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL!! Total combined weight, four hundred sixteen pounds. First, from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada... "THE TRENDSETTER"... JJJJJAAAAAMMMMMEEEEEESSSSS... BBLLLLLOOOOONNDDEEEEEEEEEE!!! And, his tag team partner. Accompanied by MEGAN SKYE, he is a former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion and the leader of Cucaracha Internacional... LLLAAAAAANNDDOOOOOOONN... "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMAAAAADDIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Landon climbs the ring steps and enters the ring, Blonde dutifully following behind him. Off comes Landon's trenchcoat, much to his surprise courtesy of JB and not Megan which kinda unnerves him when he turns around, even though James just insists he's trying to be helpful. COLE Boy, what a suck-up this guy is. Unfortunately for Blonde, his boss is still in a foul mood and his helpfullness earns him zero brownie points. COACH Well Landon oughta be the difference maker here tonight. He's a former World Champion in two companies, he's way outta the Nerdlys league! COLE Maybe in singles competition. But MARV and MEL are the most finely tuned tag team in the OAOAST, if only because they're twins, they have that telepathic communication going on. COACH What? Get outta her man? You say there ain't no such thing as voodoo whenever Los Conquistadors are out here breakin' people's arms, yet you believe that baloney!? As Blonde continues to fish for approval, "Like The Angel" by Rise Against hits. Led by sister Melody, The Christ Air Express bursting out onto the stage through a cloud of 'heavenly' white smoke. With their newly won titles around their waists the smiling brothers hit a leaping high-five, unleashing two pyrotechnic rockets into the air, one blue and one orange, before they march to the ring BUFFER And their opponents! Being accompanied to the ring by MELODY NERDLY! At a total combined weight of three hundred and seventy pounds... they hail from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Ladies and gentlemen, two-thirds of the NEW OAOAST World 6-Man Tag Team Champions... MARV... MEL... THE CHHRRIIISSTT AAAAIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRR... EEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXPPRRRRREEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Melody shows off her AWESOME Sesame Street t-shirt to camera as MARV and MEL get the crowd fired up. COLE Earlier today, we caught up with the new 6-Man Champions and their manager Melody! OAOAST A small square box SWOOPS~ in and settles on the upper right hand side of the picture. There, Melody, MARV and MEL stand in front of the HeldDOWN backdrop. MELODY One belt, AH-HA-HA! Two belts, AH-HA-HA! Thre... hey, where's the other guy? MARV Jamie? MELODY That his name? Guess that means he's not related to us. In that case you better hook me up with his MSN handle when we're done with this. Anyhoo, once again, a Nerdly's holding an OAOAST title belt! Two of them infact! Prove positive that using OAOAST No Homo as a training method does infact pay off. We mapped the entire thing out down to the last, superb graphic qualitied detail. We're like the next-gen York Foundation, or something! And Landon and all those other type dudes, at times like this, there's only one thing to say... In a not-at-all rehearsed moment, MARV and MEL raise their Six-Man Titles to camera level. MELODY All your belts are belong to us! HELDDOWN~! Back live, MARV and MEL pose on the turnbuckles with their belts, Melody in the middle throwing up the Nerdly RAWK~! hand signals. From across the ring Landon scowls and in the end, sees quite enough and steps out to the apron. COLE MARV and MEL looking delighted with their newly won gold, the OAOAST Six Man Tag Team Champions along with their 'brah', Jamie O'Hara. And we can only speculate what those three have in common. But anyway, traditional tag team action upcoming and we'll see if MARV and MEL can carry on the momentum they gained from that surprise title win. *DINGDINGDING!* As the bell sounds, Blonde confidently announces that he'll start the match, seeing as Landon is already on the apron expecting him to do so. MARV and MEL eventually pass their belts to ringside and start to try and decide who's going to start. MELODY MARV, I CHOOSE YOU!! Melody throws a plastic Pokeball into the ring. MARV and MEL look at each other, then shrug, before MEL steps out of the ring. COACH And this is the girl that Leon chose over Maggie!? COLE No, actually, that was Molly. COACH Are you sure? I thought that was the one who kicked him in the nuts in the Cage Match. COLE Nope, that was Melissa. COACH You mean the big chick who likes whipping people? I gotcha now. Hey, have you noticed how all their names start with an 'M'? How weird is that? Circling, MARV and Blonde go to lock-up but MARV slips underneath and behind with a waistlock. Blonde drops to his BUTT to break the waistlock, rolling backwards and kicking MARV in the chest. He then jumps to his feet and celebrates, smiling widely as Landon applauds his escape. MARV chuckles to himself as with a newfound confidence, Blonde jogs around the ring and takes a swipe at MEL. As MEL fakes to get in the ring, Blonde dodges back around to the action... and MARV takes him other with an armdrag! A second! And a third! Retreating into a netural corner, Blonde ducks through the ropes and calls for a timeout with all of Landon's approval long gone. COLE Might be best to target one Nerdly at a time there James. COACH You oughta tell Leon Rodez that. Once MARV is backed up, Blonde re-emerges from between the ropes and we lock up again. Blonde grabs a side headlock, quickly getting shot off the ropes, only to come back with a shoulder tackle. JB flashes Landon a thumbs up, before coming off the ropes again. Drop down by MARV, Blonde up and over the top. The Trendsetter then leaps to the middle rope... and performs a moonsault to land on his feet, which is nice and all but doesn't really accomplish anything except show off for Landon. Strangely, Landon is impressed by this and all is well. COLE It's sad to be that needy. Maddix is slightly less impressed once Blonde gets caught napping and is rolled up however... 1... 2... No! Once again Blonde retreats and ducks out of the ropes, smoothing out his hair as MARV is backed up. COLE Well I'm not so sure James Blonde is doing much to make his leader happy right about now. Although, if Landon's looking for Blonde to emulate him he should be pretty satisified with the showing off and obsession with his hair. Out of the corner again, Blonde sees Landon asking for a tag and simply can't get across the ring quickly enough to give him what he wants. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Landon gets a not-so warm welcome as he enters the ring, while MARV tags out to MEL. COACH Alright, here we go. COLE The boss is in, let's see if he can lead by example. Landon and MEL lock up, with Landon quickly taking his opponent over with a fireman's carry. Cue huge applause from James Blonde, as Maddix lets MEL back up. They lock up again and this time Landon goes behind with a hammerlock. Searching for an escape, MEL eventually backs up towards the ropes and leaps off his feet, looking to take Landon over with a snapmare. He succeeds, only for Landon to hold onto the arm and re-assert the hammerlock. COLE Nice move by Landon, we're not used to seeing him go hold for hold with opponents quite so much as this. Getting to his feet, MEL looks for the escape again... and finds it, into a hammerlock of his own. COLE And maybe that's why. Now it's Landon stuck for an escape and he decides to go for the neutral corner. MEL and Maddix shuffle around looking for position in the corner, with Landon able to back MEL in. Referee Charles Robinson looks for a clean break, but Landon has other ideas and throws a sneaky forearm. However, MEL is ready for it and ducks, waiting for Landon to turn around and aiming a cho... NO! Sensing the chop, Maddix lunges through the ropes and covers up. BLONDE HEY! NO! NO! So outraged is Blonde that his leader almost got chopped, he marches down the apron to complain. And he pays for it, as MARV runs into the ring and sends him flying with a forearm shot! MARV and MEL then grab a hold of Landon and shoot him off the ropes. Landon throws a double clothesline, but MARV and MEL catch the arms and wring them, sandwiching his head with a forearm and a back elbow. The CAE hit opposite ropes. MEL comes back with a dropkick, knocking Landon backwards into MARV, who delivers a facecrusher, RIGHT ONTO MEL'S RAISED KNEE!! COLE And there's that seamless tandem movement we were mentioning earlier from the twins! The crowd and Melody applaud, as MARV leaves and MEL covers... 1... 2... Kickout... ...and a save by Blonde, even though it wasn't needed. COLE Boy this guy is just becoming a pain in the ass. COACH He's a Trendsetter Michael! COLE ...what the hell does that have to do anything!? MEL makes the tag, and he and MARV set up some more double teaming. Shot off the ropes, Landon is taken over with a double hiptoss. The CAE then combine with a Standing Moonsault and Fist Drop, MARV staying on with the pin... 1... 2... No! Front facelock applied by MARV, looking to control the former World Champion who manages to back him into a corner. No clean break again, as Landon then drives a shoulder into the ribs and lands a forearm. Wringing the arm, Landon whips MARV corner to corner... ...but MEL leaps onto the top turnbuckle, providing a buffer for MARV to run into. COACH Come on, they can't do that! Coming out of the corner unharmed, MARV knocks the surprised Landon down with a clothesline! Maddix picks himself up and falls into the corner, where MARV goes to work... "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" "NINE!" "TEN!" ...with the crowd pleasing succession of right hands. Landon is dazed and gets set up, MARV looking for the irish whip. Sure enough, Blonde is ready to put his body on the line for his leader and dives onto the opposite turnbuckle ready for him. Unfortunately, MARV fakes him out and pulls Landon back into a drop toehold into the middle turnbuckle, while MEL comes in and lands a dropkick on the stranded Blonde knocking him off the top and to the arena floor! COLE Absolutely nothing is going Cucaracha Internacional's way here! And James Blonde's 'look at me' attitude is doing them no favours from where I'm sitting. With Maddix dazed in the corner, The Christ Air Express line him up. MEL delivers a flying clothesline in the corner, landing on the middle rope. And he pulls himself clear as MARV follows up with a big dropkick, catching Landon up under the jaw! As he staggers from the corner, Landon gets tripped, set up as MARV delivers a headbutt to the midsection and MEL lands a slingshot legdrop from the apron!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Melody is delighted, as MARV makes the cover... 1... 2... NO, KICKOUT! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh my, we almost witnessed a HUGE upset, MARV less than half a second away from pinning Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix! COACH This ain't good, even I've gotta admit it. Clearly reeling Landon gets to his feet and starts trying to buy himself a timeout! No such luck, as MARV lands a boot and makes the tag to MEL. A double whip sends Landon off the ropes again, where he's dropped with a double elbow. MARV and MEL then hit opposite ropes... ...but MARV gets TRIPPED by James Blonde, then yanked out of the ring with authority! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" As MARV hits the ringside mats with a thud and Melody launches into a complaint, MEL looks for a back senton anyway, but Landon gets the knees up to counter! COACH There we go, now the cream rises. COLE Just as MARV and MEL were getting into their stride, James Blonde from the outside and the tide of this match turns. Landon quickly gets the tag to Blonde, who leaps into the ring ready to strike. He stalks MEL waiting for him to get to his feet, before CRACKING him with an Enziguri! Eager cover follows... 1... 2... No! Controlling MEL, Blonde picks him up off the mat. A snapmare puts him back down for a kneedrop and another cover... 1... 2... No! Another tag is made now that Landon is ready and now, it's Cucaracha Internacional with the double team as they send MEL off the ropes. Landon delivers a boot to hold MEL's progress up, then directs traffic to his eager understudy. Quickly, Blonde delivers a Sitout Jawbreaker and MEL lurches backwards, caught by Maddix who drops him with a Neckbreaker across his knee!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH There you go, how's that for some double teaming!? COLE Nice teamwork by the Landon twins. COACH Say what!? Landon pins MEL down, the force suggesting he's frustrated... 1... 2... No! Landon forces MEL back down onto his shoulders and stomps him HARD in the face! "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" The chants are answered by Maddix climbing the turnbuckles and extending his arms triumphantly, to applause from Megan and plenty more from Blonde. Landon eventually gets back to the action and measures MEL, delivering a hard kick to the chest! COACH You have to admit, the class is beginning to show. COLE There's no denying Landon's one of the top wrestlers in the OAOAST today. And he's taking control, which from his point of view is long overdue, judging by the way he spoke to the rest of Cucaracha Internacional earlier. As MEL climbs back to his feet, Landon unleashes another hard kick to the ribs and down goes MEL again. Off the ropes, Landon then lands across the chest with a double stomp, bottoming out with a back senton and hooking a leg... 1... 2... Kickout! Melody starts to get the crowd behind MEL, as Landon tags Blonde back in. The Trendsetter hops to the middle rope and adjusts his sweatbands, kissing the Canadian one before coming off with the Marty Jannetty Fistdrop! Blonde then dedicates it to Landon before making the cover... 1... 2... No! COLE But Blonde and Maddix just unable to put this match away at the moment. Pulling MEL to his feet, Blonde grabs a hold of the blue and orange tights, hanging him up over the top rope. As MEL falls backwards Blonde then turns to his partner and gives him the double thumbs up before heading to the top rope. COACH All in good time. COLE Well Blonde taking a risk here, looking to impress. Blonde scales the turnbuckles as MEL starts to slowly fight to his feet. He stands doubled over trying to catch his breath as Blonde reaches the top. And The Trendsetter again seeks out Landon for dedications before he comes off the top, aiming with a knee... ...AND GETTING DROPKICKED OUT OF MID-AIR!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE The risk does NOT pay! And now, MEL needs to get the tag! A figure of unhappiness, Landon stands with his hands on his hips as the race for the tag begins. Melody mindlessly mashes imaginary buttons as she wills MEL to the corner, while Landon finally offers the tag himself. It's Blonde who reaches the corner first, making the tag to Maddix... but MEL gets the tag to MARV seconds later!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Tags made on either side, MARV and Maddix in! As Landon rushes into the ring, MARV leaps to the top rope and wipes him out with a Flying Clothesline! MARV then starts to unload with a flurry of forearm shots. Landon is backed up against the ropes and MARV shoots him off with an irish whip, catching him with a dropkick on the rebound! Cover... 1... 2... No! Maddix backpedals into a corner looking for a timeout again... but Landon lures him in and cuts him off with a boot. Landon turns MARV into the corner... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and delivers a knifedge chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a second. He then sends him across the ring with an irish whip, loading up the forearm and looking to follow. But MARV surprises him, coming back off the middle turnbuckle with a twisting crossbody... 1... 2... No! Both men back up and MARV goes for a chop... and Landon flinches, so MARV instead pulls him down with a Backslide! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Wow, almost had him again! COACH If Landon lost tonight I don't think he'd ever live it down, not after his speech earlier. A forearm buys Maddix some time to recouperate and he calls Blonde back in. Together they hook MARV up and look for a Double Suplex, only for MEL to re-enter the ring and help MARV to safely land on his feet. The CAE then duck clotheslines, before landing with stereo Superkicks! Blonde is flung out of the ring and MEL follows. Meanwhile, MARV waits for Landon to get back up. Hooking the head, he runs for the turnbuckles looking for the Acid Drop... but Maddix counters, shoving MARV chest-first into the turnbuckles. MARV staggers away from the corner and right back into Landon, who hits a Lungblower!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Got him! COLE That could do it for The CAE. Landon pulls MARV from the ropes and covers... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE No, not yet! After complaining to the referee, Landon waits for MARV to get up. Using the ropes to aid him, MARV gets to his feet, at which point Landon executes a picture-perfect Dropsault, sending him tumbling through the ropes and to the floor. Landon pops right back up and celebrates his feat by posturing for the crowd, while MARV rolls underneath the ring apron in his pained state. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH How can you not love this guy? Great athlete, looks like a star, leader of men. COLE Goofy as a pet coon. COACH You don't even know what that means. Landon now leaves the ring, to the outside where MEL has just ousted James Blonde up and over the barricade with a timely backdrop. And with no sign of MARV, Landon naturally targets the other Nerdly instead. Charging from behind, he clubs MEL in the back which sends him into the barricade. Maddix then stomps away against the barricade. COACH See, look at Landon taking it to MARV. COLE That's not MARV Coach, that's MEL. COACH Wha... hey... HEY, LANDON! HEY! As Landon continues to put the boots to MEL, the referee's count is met at '5' by MARV, who rolls back into the ring nursing his back. Landon seems well aware of the count though and starts to choke MEL against the barrier. As the referee reaches '7', Landon then picks MEL back up. He picks him onto his shoulders with a fireman's carry before aiming him, throwing him up in the air to drop MEL sternum first across the barricade! COLE GTS on the guardrail! Smirking, Landon slowly backs away pointing to his head. As he hears the referee's count hit '8', he then reaches back feeling for the ring ropes as he exchanges word with members of the crowd. COLE Landon thinks he's gonna beat the count, but he's about to be in for a big shock! Grabbing the ropes, Maddix pulls himself back to the apron... ...at which point MARV charges and dropkicks him off the apron, back down to the arena floor!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COACH Wait a minute... no, come on! COLE The count is at 8, Landon is down! The count now reaches '9', MARV counting along as Melody encourages the referee... ...TO REACH 10, COUNTING LANDON OUT!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* COACH That is BOGUS!! Melody jumps for joy before sliding into the ring, embracing MARV on his victory, count-out or not. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match as a result of a count-out... MARV and MEL... THE CHRIST AIR EEEEXXXXXXPPRRREEEEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Picking himself up, Landon's jaw hits the floor again and he stands dumbfounded as he watches the celebration in the ring. MARV and Melody have their hands raised in victory, Melody happy to fill in for the absent MEL. COACH These sneaky Nerdlys, they pulled another fast one! They switched! COLE They didn't switch Coach, Maddix just went after the wrong one, that's all! That's no... HEY, wait a minute! With Landon still frozen, it's down to NATHANIEL BLACK to hit the ring and seek retribution as he lays MARV out from behind! Black stomps away on MARV sending Melody scurrying to the outside, only able to watch on as the Englishman beats the tar out of her brother. That brings Landon back around from his trance and he goes to re-enter the ring... until JAMIE O'HARA comes sprinting to the ring, sliding in and jumping Black!! COLE It's all breaking loose! Jamie O'Hara, out here to try and help out his buddies! COACH He should have stayed away, far far away, because it's just about feeding time! Right on cue we see FAQU marching to the ring, the big Samoan slowly climbing the steps as the brawl continues. When Faqu does get into the ring, he grabs a hold of O'Hara and drops him with a HEADBUTT! Faqu and Black then stomp away on O'Hara and MARV, while Landon and a recovering Blonde target MEL. COACH Cucaracha Internacional may not have won the match, but they're gonna win the war, that's good enough for me. As the beatings continue, Melody starts rubbing her fingers on her temples. And by the magic of telepathic communications, or coincidence depending on your view point, her call for help is answered as BARON WINDELS HITS THE RING WITH A STEEL CHAIR!!! COLE LOOK OUT! Baron slides into the ring... *CRACK!* ...and NAILS Faqu!! The big Samoan doesn't go down... *CRACK!* ...but Black does from his chairshot! The Englishman rolls out of the ring, noticed by Blonde and Maddix who sense trouble and quickly run for the stage. They're just in time as Faqu is clotheslined up and over the top, the blonde twosome having to hold the Samoan back from getting into the ring, despite the chair weilding Baron being backed up by MARV and O'Hara, plus MEL belated entering the ring. COLE Another bad night at the office for Cucaracha Internacional, losing this match and now with the odds even they want no part of the Six Man Champs and The Lone Star Gunslinger! COACH They lost by count-out. That's not a loss, that's a questionable finish. COLE It's a loss in the record books Coach and they're beginning to stack up. Does this mean Landon is now on probation as well? COACH Very funny. As Landon gets his troops retreating, the Six Man Champs stand tall with Melody handing out a thank-you hug to Baron. COLE Folks, Landon may be back at square one with his gang, but the future of Mister Dick is looking bright than ever! Can he be the first person in OAOAST history to defeat Krista one on one and submit her? We'll find out! IN TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT SUBMISSIONS COUNT ANYWHERE KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS MISTER DICK MAINEVENT COMMERCIAL

Whoo-hoo! The LS was gonna be the opener or the midcard mainevent (SP dropped that term on me)! Show's up on Friday! Wheheeheehehheeeeeee!

This one comes from the lovely city of Greenville, SC. I haven't much of a clue if its really lovely or not, I've never been there. as announced on HD, Submission match: Krista Vs Mister Dick. perhaps lol since no one has booked anything, I'll just take the mainevent

I may or may not move this show to Friday, bloody friday. I mean, it'd help me no doubt, but I am one man, one beautiful man, one gorgeous sexy handsome man with a great ass but still one man. with a great ass. Just a fantastic ass. PM me for pics.

Awww sophie is cute! Nice show

BUFFER The following contest is your HeldDOWN~! main-event of the evening! Set for one fall, it is for the OAOAST One And Only WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS!! The crowd cheer for the rare televised title defence and the fact they fluked out by it happening in their city. The cheers then intensify seconds later as "Rock The Casbah" by Trust Company hits. Sliding through the entrance way, Leon Rodez soaks up the adulation of the crowd before pointing his way on to the ring. BUFFER Introducing the challengers! First, from Grand Rapids, Michigan... weighing in at two hundred, eighteen pounds. "THE NEW-AGE LOVE MACHINE"... "THE GRAND RAPIDS GOLDEN CHILD"... ladies and gentlemen, the new number one contender to the World Heavyweight Championship, "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLLLEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Leon enters the ring with a big smile on his face, passing out his expensive ring robe before climbing the turnbuckles to salute the crowd. COLE The rejuvinated Leon Rodez in fine form, here tonight in Milwaukee! But he will have revenge on his mind I'm sure the moment he locks eyes with Reject. "THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP..." *DUN DUN* "...IS..." *DUN* "...HERE!" Suddenly, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role 2000" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and cheering. PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" throughout the song, while smoke fills the entryway and strobe lights appear on the entrance set. A few seconds elapse before Tha Puerto Rican appears to a rousing cheer! BUFFER And the partner! Hailing from San Juan, Puerto Rico... weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounds. He is the reigning One and Only AngleSault Thread WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... ladies and gentlemen, this is THHHAAAAAA PPPPPPPUUUUUUUUEEEEEEERRRRRRTTOOOOOOOO... RRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Tha Puerto Rican climbs to the ring apron and pauses for a second looking at Leon, before spinning himself into the ring. Leon steps back into a corner as Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. PRL then heads to a second turnbuckle and raises his title belt. He then heads to another second turnbuckle and raises the belt again. COLE Tha Puerto Rican with the chance to bag double gold here tonight and become the first man to hold both the World Heavyweight and World Tag Team Championships at the same time. PR hits a third second turnbuckle, and raises his right arm in the air and "smells the electricity" a'la The Rock. PRL does the same Rock pose on the fourth second turnbuckle, recieving boos. Tha Puerto Rican gets off the ropes, removes his sunglasses and earring while the lights go back on in the arena. COLE We are taking our final commercial break. When we come back, the World Tag Team Championships are on the line! Don't even think about changing that channel unless you plan on changing it back again! *COMMERCIAL BREAK!* As we return to HD, we see the challengers stood in the ring, both waiting for their opponents but standing a distance apart. COLE And welcome back to HeldDOWN, where we are moments away from our main-event. And it's my pleasure to be joined at this time by Wrestling Hall Of Famer Jesse Ventura to help call this match, it should be most intriguing Jess. VENTURA No doubt, it's gonna be interesting to see how PRL and Leon Rodez manage to co-exist considering what lies ahead in their future. And what effect is The Halloween Spectacular going to have on all four of these guys after the gruelling matches they took part in less than a week ago? "The Wall" by Kansas hits, and the lights go out. After a few seconds, amidst a cloud of yellow smoke the figures of the World Tag Team Champions appear. Plus, one other shapelier figure. Thunderkid marches ahead, with Reject a couple of steps behind, one arm wrapped around Melissa Nerdly. Both have smug grins on their faces as they see Leon watching them from the ring. BUFFER And the opponents. Making their way down the aisle, at a combined weight of four hundred and eighty pounds... representing The Deadly Alliance! They are the reigning and defending OAOAST Tag Team Thampions of the WORLD... the team of TTHHHHHUUUUUNNDDEEERRRRKKIIIIDD and RRRRREEEEEEEEEEJJEEEEEEEECCTT!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" TK and Reject climb into the ring in parallel corners, TK jumping onto the buckles, while Reject turns and poses in the near corner, Melissa stood at the ropes displaying her man like a Price Is Right item. TK and Reject then meet at mid-ring and hand their belts off to the referees. VENTURA Now I've got nothing against OAOAST President Josie Baker and no denial that this should be one hell of a HeldDOWN~! main-event. But I can't imagine this match has gone down well in the Deadly Alliance camp, when you consider Reject and Thunderkid are under a week removed from surviving that Fatal Four Way title match with the belts. I can guarantee they weren't expecting when they arrived at the arena tonight to be defending their gold again so soon... and against the World Champion and number one contender no less! COLE That's what being Champions is, or should be, all about Jesse. Being able to defend against top competitors. VENTURA I understand that Michael, but Reject and Thunderkid will have faced The Heavenly Rockers, Blonde and Faqu, Zack Malibu, Leon Rodez and Tha Puerto Rican in under a week! That's a hell of a schedule whatever way you look at it. If they retain their titles tonight I don't think anybody can deny them the best team in the wrestling world today. The belts are displayed to the audience by referee Charles Robinson as the teams take their corners. Reject holds the ropes for Melissa to leave, but not before she blows Leon a mocking kiss. The Silky Smooth One adeptly catches it and offers it to PRL, who turns it down with disgust, to Melissa's annoyance. *DINGDINGDING!* With the bell gone Reject is ready to go. On the challengers side there's a bit more of a conversation, before PRL finally steps aside and lets Leon get what he wants, or more specifically who he wants. COLE Alright, here we go! I can tell you, Leon has been waiting for this ever since he got screwed inside the Steel Ca... Right on cue and before anyone comes into contact, Reject tags Thunderkid and steps out to the apron. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Oh, come on! VENTURA Easy Michael, they've probably got a strategy. COLE Yeah, a strategy to save Reject's BUTT from what he's got coming to him! Hands on hips, Leon can't help but smile a pained smile at falling for it. Thunderkid gets his attention with a shove to the chest and tells him to concentrate on him, not his partner. Which Leon does by delivering a surprise Rolling Sole BUTT to the midsection! Leon begins to unload with forearms and backs TK into the ropes, looking for an irish whip. Reversal by TK though and Rodez goes for the ride. On the rebound, Leon baseball slides through the legs as Thunderkid sets himself, tripping the feet and faceplanting TK! Leon hits the ropes at the side, going up and over TK's roadblock. The 250 pounder quickly jumps to his feet and shows his agility with a leapfrog! VENTURA Wow! That's no easy feat! As Rodez rebounds again Thunderkid sticks out an arm and looks for a hiptoss... but Leon turns into it and counters with a monkey flip! COLE Neither is that! As TK pulls himself up, Leon wrings the arm and makes a tag to a cheer from the crowd. Tha Puerto Rican scales the turnbuckles with Thunderkid held at bay and drops The People's Axe down across the outstretched arm, then takes over with an armbar. "P - R!" "P - R!" "P - R!" "P - R!" PRL finds a moment to soak the chant in before Thunderkid's power advantage kicks in. Backing PRL up against the ropes TK forces the clean break, then reneges on it by delivering a bodyshot. And another one. Tag made and boos for Reject as he steps in, while TK executes an irish whip. PRL hangs onto the ropes on the other side and stops himself though, forcing a charge from TK and a backdrop over the top! In charges Reject, but PRL ducks a clothesline. Leapfrog by PRL, then a reverse leapfrog, before catching Reject with an armdrag and hanging onto the arm. Tha Puerto Rican applies an armbar and glances to his corner, where Leon has his hand outstretched. COLE Reject might have bought himself a stay of execution, but not a long one. Pulling Reject up, PRL makes the tag... ...but before Leon can get in, Reject manages to deliver a knee to escape the armbar and scramble to the outside! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Melissa rounds the ring to check on Reject, comforting him as he complains of a sore arm. Her concern is soon for herself though and she runs for cover, as Leon leaves the ring and POSTS REJECT!! VENTURA OH! COLE Reject is a head in the poles! VENTURA Election's over dummy, whatever humour that joke might have once had is long gone. Staggering around ringside, Reject rolls into the ring trying to get away. Leon is on his tail though and slides in as well. To his feet, Reject wheels around with a big right hand but Rodez blocks it and lands with a jab! Block, and a jab! Block, jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss... spotting Thunderkid charging towards him and sidestepping. The World Tag Team Champions collide heads and both roll out of the ring to collect their bearings. That draws in PRL, as Leon launches himself over the top with a PESCADO on Reject! PRL meanwhile delivers a Baseball Slide to Thunderkid, reaching up from the apron and skinning the cat back inside ALL FIRED UP~! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE And it's the challengers who are bossing this match so far! VENTURA It's still early days, but they're looking pretty good at the moment I'll give them that. PRL heads back to his corner as Leon brings Reject back inside. Irish whip sends Reject for the ride, hit with a beautiful standing dropkick! Cover... 1... 2... No! Leon measures Reject... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and chops him back into a neutral corner! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" A second chop lands. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And a third. Reject then gets sent corner to corner, Leon setting up for the Superman Spear. Out of the corner dodges Reject, but early enough for Leon to bail out of the dive. Head still down he goes upside down in the corner, landing on his feet on the ring apron. Running down the apron Leon then comes off the opposite buckles with a Steamboat-esque Crossbody! 1... 2... No! As Reject scrambles up, Leon grabs him in a side headlock. Reject quickly shoots Leon off into the ropes and grabs a hold of Robinson's shirt, distracting him while Melissa reaches into the ring and trips the ankle! COLE Come on, this conniving woman's got no business out here! Rodez turns around to confront Melissa and Reject charges... but Leon doesn't fall for it and catches Reject with a drop toehold across the middle rope! The crowd rise up as Leon does THE JIG~! and the referee keeps his eyes firmly on Melissa, leaving her unable to help Reject escape from Leon's path, as he drives his bodyweight into the spine! COLE Call That Bitch Bojangles! With a smirk Leon returns Melissa's blown kiss from earlier, then rolls Reject up... 1... 2... No! VENTURA The Champions have gotta get it together here. Rodez and PRL might not be a tag team, but they're two of the top stars in the OAOAST. COLE And very capable of taking these Tag Team Titles here tonight! Which for PRL would be his first OAOAST Tag Team Title. VENTURA And you know why that is, don't you? COLE No, why? VENTURA Because the guy can't be trusted! COLE Oh I don't know about that. Maybe once upon a time. Leon drags Reject to the corner and makes the tag to Tha Puerto Rican. PRL comes in with a boot to the midsection, then lands with a punch. Despite being staggered, Reject manages to come back with a knee to the gut though. He then grabs PRL and shoots him off the ropes. Reject misses with a clothesline though, then gets knocked down with a Flying Forearm! PRL kips up, then knocks Thunderkid off the apron with a punch. COLE Shot to Thunderkid, no love lost there either between he and PRL. With Reject closing in, PRL quickly turns around and executes a Russian Legsweep. Cover... 1... 2... No! PRL starts delivering some more punches as both men regain their feet, then lands with a boot and looks for an irish whip. Reject reverses though and directs PRL towards Thunderkid who has just climbed to the apron. The illegal man lands a knee to the back, but PRL turns around and knocks him off the apron again anyway. Tha Puerto Rican then moves away from the ropes... and Reject NAILS him with a running forearm across the top of the head! VENTURA Big shot by Reject, a Luger-esque forearm. And loaded arm or not that's gonna scramble your brains. COLE And the distraction by Thunderkid giving the World Tag Team Champions the opening. Returning to the apron TK tags in. Picking PRL up off the mat, he delivers a short-arm clothesline and goes for a pinfall... 1... 2... No! Thunderkid hangs PRL up on the ropes and starts to go to work with some heavy right hands. Shots to the head and the body weaken PRL until the referee steps in to pull TK away. That sparks an arguement, allowing Reject to walk over and starts choking PR across the top rope! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" VENTURA And now the Tag Team Champs are still to get into their stride. COLE By cheating. VENTURA They haven't been caught yet, have they? They haven't, as Reject is back to his corner looking all innocent by the time the referee turns around. That leaves PRL at TK's mercy, shot off and DRILLED with a Bicycle Kick!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" VENTURA Man, he just levelled him with that boot! Thunderkid hooks the leg... 1... 2... Kickout! Despite getting out PRL still looks dazed and TK traps him in a rear chinlock. Slapping the turnbuckle Leon starts to get the crowd rallying behind the World Champion, which gives him the energy to climb back to his feet. He delivers an elbow to the gut. A second. And a third. Tha Puerto Rican then goes to hit the ropes, just as Reject makes a blind tag. And as PRL charges back, Reject cuts him down with a lunging clothesline before making an eager pin... 1... 2... No! REJECT COME ON! Reject leads PRL back up, delivering a right hand. And a second. PRL is on wobbly legs, as Reject then delivers a spinning heel kick to the face! Down goes the World Champ, while Reject turns around and nails Leon, drawing him into the ring. COLE Come on, cheapshot by Reject! VENTURA Hey, turn about's fair play, PRL did it to Thunderkid first. As Leon tries to alert the referee to what's going on behind him, the Champions get on with it. Thunderkid steps in and elevates PRL into the hangman's hold, leaving him wide open for Reject's roundhouse kick! COLE And that move has broken ribs ladies and gentlemen, the Champions could be about to retain their title again here. Reject makes the cover, slapping his hand on the mat as the referee is slow to react... 1... 2... NO! "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" Reject and Thunderkid make another exchange, TK clubbing away on PRL as he steps in. The World Champion tries to draw off of the crowd's support but Thunderkid is just too strong and scoops PRL into his arms for the Fallaway Slam! TK crawls over and hooks the leg... 1... 2... NO! COLE Another kickout from PRL, the gutsy World Heavyweight Champion will not give in without a fight. VENTURA And you notice, Leon's in no hurry to jump in and help out his November Reign opponent. Coincidence? COLE He was just trying to jump in a minute ago! VENTURA And all he did was distract the referee while PRL got kicked in the ribs. Coincidence? COLE You're getting as bad as Coach. Picking PRL up, Thunderkid delivers a big European uppercut. PRL falls down against the ropes breathing heavily, not realising how close he is to the corner. He does eventually spot Leon's hand hovering his way and makes a move... but TK is alert and drags him away by the ankle before the tag can be made, then drops an elbow to the back. Thunderkid then sits down across the back and locks PRL in a Camel Clutch. COLE Good job Thunderkid was paying attention, or we mi... *SLAP!* COLE OW! What was that for? VENTURA You said I was as bad as Coach. And I don't like being insulted. As TK pulls back on the head of the World Champion, the camera's cut to Melissa Nerdly who is approaching the challengers' corner. With her best look of innocence she crawls her fingers across the apron and starts to try and FLIRT with Leon! Referee Robinson quickly orders her back to the Champions corner... ...but not before the Tag Champs have taken advantage of the distraction and pulled a switch, Reject now applying the Camel Clutch! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Robinson looks surprised to see Reject in and asks if there was a tag, foolish enough to believe Reject when he says there was. In the midst of all this, PRL starts to try and fight back up, again with the crowd on his side. He manages to force his way back onto his hands and knees, so Reject jumps up and drops his weight down across the small of the back. The R-Man grins as he re-applies the hold but PRL starts to fight up again. So Reject drops the weight down again, pointing to his head before locking the clutch again. VENTURA Am I the only one with a bad feeling about this? Still PRL is fighting though, so Reject lets him go again. He leaps up, spreads the legs... AND LANDS ON PRL'S KNEES!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" VENTURA Yeah, thought so. Melissa covers he mouth in shock as Reject covers something else up entirely. He manages to get the tag to TK though, who's able to cut PRL off from the tag on his end! Leon is JUST out of reach before PRL is dragged away, TK giving Leon a shot to take him out of the equation. Thunderkid then catches PRL coming in, pressing him over his head. The powerhouse walks around the ring picking his spot to slam Tha Puerto Rican... ...but takes too long, allowing PRL to squirm a way out, landing on Thunderkid's shoulders and pulling him down with a Hurricanrana!!! The crowd pop... and then erupt, as PRL rolls and gets the tag to Rodez!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE There's the tag, in comes the number one contender! As TK picks himself up on the ropes, he finds himself leant over the middle rope and drilled with CALL THAT BITCH BOJANGLES~! Holding his back he climbs off the ropes and turns around into Leon's path, The Silky Smooth One tucking and rolling with the clothesline, then going for the cover... COLE Shack Attack, could be all! 1... 2... NO! Thunderkid pulls himself back up, but walks right into a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels... *SMACK!* ...and nailing Thunderkid in the back of the head with the enziguri! COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! VENTURA Rodez is on fire here! Leon drops down looking to make the cover again, but out of the corner of his eyes he spots Reject staggering his way and jumps back up, going to work on him with right hands! He backs Reject up into a corner and scales the turnbuckle, pointing to Melissa before unloading some more... "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" "NINE!" "TEN!" Jumping off the turnbuckles Leon sees Melissa giving him a scathing look and aims some PELVIC THRUSTS in her direction!! COLE OH MY! VENTURA Think he forgot which sister's which again? A thoroughly appaled Melissa turns away, which at least means she misses the DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER~! that the Champions are on the recieving end of. Recovered, PRL then re-enters the ring and delivers a clothesline that knocks Reject up and over the top, to the outside. COLE There goes Reject, Thunderkid is in big trouble! Realising this, TK lunges with a desperation clothesline, but Leon ducks... *SMACK!* ...AND PRL CONNECTS WITH A SUPERKICK!! COLE BAM! PRL then steps out of the corner, as Leon hooks up Thunderkid. Scaling the turnbuckles, The Silky Smooth One pushes off the top... and DRIVES TK into the mat with the Shiranui, hooking the leg as PRL stands guard... 1... 2... 3 - NO!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Leon questions the count, then holds his head in his hands as Robinson says it was only two! COLE NO, ONLY TWO, ONLY TWO!! Oh my, I thought it was over! And I don't think I'm the only one in this arena! VENTURA We were less than half a count away from crowning new World Tag Team Champions! With no pinfall to celebrate PRL hits the ropes and leaves the ring. And how, aiming at Reject with a TOPE SUICIDA... ...but MISSING, as Reject barely dodges out of the way, with a certain Nerdly's help!!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!" VENTURA PRL, crashing and burning! COLE Thanks to Melissa, that girl is an absolute pest! In the ring, Leon sends Thunderkid into a corner and follows up delivering the Superman Spear! As TK staggers out of the corner, Leon then trips the legs and looks to apply the Liontamer! TK refuses to be turned left, so Leon goes right... but TK again refuses to let himself be turned. And eventually he's able to use his leg strength to push Rodez off... RIGHT BACK INTO CHARLES ROBINSON!! VENTURA There goes the ref! Leon turns around in surprise, allowing Thunderkid to bowl him over with a big forearm shot. COLE Well the referee is down here, which doesn't bode well for anybody if you ask me. Anything goes at this point. Waiting for Rodez to get back up Thunderkid crouches down in a corner. Amid shouts of warning from the crowd Leon picks himself up and turns around, to see TK charging in towards him with a Bicycle Ki... DUCKED! Rodez avoids the pumping legs and catches Thunderkid with a jumping back heel kick! Down goes TK and Leon dives on top for the cover, only to realise that there's nobody to count. There's just Reject, who stomps him in the back of the head. COLE Hey, what is this now!? What Michael Cole has noticed is Melissa Nerdly, commandering a STEEL CHAIR from the timekeeper's table. And as Reject mounts Leon to dish out some right hands, Melissa gets The R-Man's attention and slides the chair in to him! COLE Steel chair and no referee around to see it, don't tell me Reject's going to screw Rodez out of another victory, not like this! VENTURA You mean like how Leon continues to screw around with Melissa's sisters? He's got it coming if you ask me. COLE I'm pretty sure I didn't. Smile on his face, Reject retrieves the chair and taunts the crowd about what he's going to do. He tests the chair on the turnbuckle a couple of times, before turning suddenly and charging at Leon... ...who DUCKS the chairshot and delivers a dropkick to the chest! Down goes Reject and up goes the chair, landing near Leon's feet. The Silky Smooth One looks down and with the Milwaukee crowd encouraging him, he slowly picks the chair up and lines up Reject! COLE Oh wait a minute here, Leon has the chair! And it could be payback for The R-Man! VENTURA Oh so when Leon has a weapon it's 'payback' and okay, I get it. COLE After everything Reject and Melissa put Leon and the women of the OAOAST through in the past couple of months? You're damn right it is! Leon seems to be weighing it up in his head as he clutches the chair, Melissa running around ringside to plead with him not to do what he's thinking of doing. But spotting Melissa simply makes his mind up for him. And he weilds the chair, waiting for Reject to get back up. The R-Man has no idea what's waiting for him as he gets to his feet, taking a moment to steady himself before he turns around, Leon winding up... ...NO! THUNDERKID GRABS THE CHAIR!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" As Reject hits the mat in self defence, Thunderkid and Leon engage in a tug of war over the chair. They go back and forth trying to gain possession... ...until finally, TK lets go, causing Leon to wheel around... *CRACK!* ...AND SMASH THE CHAIR OVER THE HEAD OF THA PUERTO RICAN!!!!!!!!! COLE OH!! WHERE DID PRL COME FROM!? VENTURA Did he mean that? COLE WHAT DO YOU MEAN DID HE MEAN IT!? VENTURA I mean just that and quit shouting at me, would ya!? Leon looks shocked, instinctively dropping the chair. With his back turned he then gets blindsighted by Thunderkid, who pitches him over the top rope. Thunderkid follows him outside, while in the ring Reject looks up and wonders how he avoided get hit in his prone position. No time to worry about that though, as he sees PRL struggling to get to his feet. Reject slides himself into position and stalks PRL, who eventually reaches his feet... ...and gets spun around into the EULOGY~!!!!!! COLE And don't tell me the Tag Team Champions are gonna steal this one! Reject makes the cover and Charles Robinson has enough wits about him again to make the count... 1... 2... 3!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" *DINGDINGDING!* Reject rolls out of the ring and right into the arms of Melissa Nerdly, raising an arm overhead in victory, no matter how it came about. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... and STILL OAOAST WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... RRREEEEEEJJEEEECCTT AND TTHHUUUUUUUNNDDEEEERRRKKIIIIIIIDD!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Handed their belts, Reject and Thunderkid raise the titles over their heads before Reject gets another prize, a big smooch from Melissa! Leon looks up from ringside and hangs his head disappointed with what just went down, which is probably nothing compared to how PRL would be feeling, if he weren't laid out. COLE By hook or by crook, mainly crook, Reject and Thunderkid are still the World Tag Team Champions! It took an errant chair to the head and a Eulogy for Reject to pin the World Heavyweight Champion, but I'm sure that doesn't matter to them one little bit! VENTURA Errant chairshot? COLE Oh please Jesse, Leon Rodez isn't like that. VENTURA He was happy enough to try and nail Reject, wasn't he? And you know, Alf has been talking about this fifth Deadly Alliance member... COLE You have GOT to be kidding me on that one! Leon picks himself up on the outside, watching Reject and TK's celebrations, before turning to the ring. PRL is still laid out and Leon holds his hands on his hips, as the closing credits pop up and we -FADE OUT-

PRESENTED IN HD FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- From our opening spiel/video we’re transported to sofa central which is adorned with festive Thanksgiving decorations such as cornucopias, leaves, little OAOAST bobble head pilgrims and most foolishly off all live turkeys. I’m sure we’ll all live to regret that. COLE Well, Coach? How do you want to ruin today’s show before the first segment even begins? Would you like to fart the star spangled banner? Or give a detailed account of your colonoscopy? Or wonder aloud how long you could stay in prison without letting another male “brain” you up? COACH Son, ya jokes is wack, closest thing you ever came to a punchline, was waiting for refreshments at the prom in '79. I’m trynna be chill and cool with you ‘cause you voted for a brother. You got BO into office. So, white man, why not accept this olive branch? Why question me right now? See, the old me would of told your stinkin caucausoid ass to go sit down somewhere because you have no melanin and are barely human. Why do you insist on trying to make me angry? Why do you want me to tell you to crawl back in that shit hole in the Caucus Mountains were you came from and go back to your primitive practice of mating with dogs? It's a new day my white friend...its a new day! CHRISTIAN WRIGHT (O.S.) Welcome depraved sons and daughters of the devil! “BOOOOOOO!” the audience screams as we cut to the ring to find The Enterprise has gathered in their entirety. The arena is dimly lit with the brightest light shining on one of the most hated stables in the OAOAST. There are only 3 stables, but they’re all equally hated let’s just say that for a PC comment. WRIGHT Since the year 2006 The Enteprise has taken forth the precious from the vile and is therefore known as nothing less than the mouth of god. We have hoisted you the evil, you the banal, you the corrupt, onto shoulders proud and true, arming ourselves against pagan lifestyles of soul damning, nation destroying filth! Our eyes have long been cast like lures into the sea of reprobate disdain, in earnest of hopes of hooking onto a glimmer of possibility that our mission may yet arise a bounty of success. Needless to say Tuesday was the era of our disappointment. MONEYMAKER Sima Ahmed a sixty eight year old woman in India described the October 30th bombings of the Guwahati city markets as the very meaning of hell on earth. Miss Ahmed, with all do respect, you have no clue of what the phrase hell on earth truly means. I know hell on earth because I have lived since Tuesday and I know it’s a long, hard road out of it. To no fault of my own, I have to perish in a world where Maya Duncan-Blanchard is the Beverly Vista School Student Body President! “YEAAAAAAA!” MONEYMAKER That’s right, Maya won. The student body signed their souls to a merciless devil, and as bad as my hell on earth is right now, the hell all you children are headed to is going to be a hundred times more punishing. A number of you, and many of the numbnutted halfwits in the lockeroom, have chastised me for attacking a 13 year old girl. In my defense, I only wanted to help out my godson, JC Pennington. If the boys in the back had any ideas of family beyond figuring out which Nerdly girl they want to impregnate they’d understand me. Also, do you realize that she won’t always be 13? She isn’t Dusty Rhodes, she’s no son of a plumber. She is the daughter of a very influential celebrity, and the granddaughter of a very powerful congressman. What do you think she’s gonna be like when she’s 24? 34? 44? This evil monster at 13 is on record of supporting same sex marriage and the wholesale murder of babies, her basic theology is pure Arminian heresy, consisting of two Satanic lies: 1) God loves everybody; and, 2) Man has a free will. She has shredded every part of the bible which proves her and her sycophants to be murders and blaspheming hypocrites. All the bible alises of for antichrist fit Maya like a glove! Maya Duncan-Blanchard, her mother, and those who will follow her in life are bound for hell for their sins against God! WRIGHT Cast alive into the lake of fire burning with brimstone! Were the quintessence of my mind not benumbed to the muck and mire of the witless bunkum and twaddle of the OAOAST populace, perhaps I might gather up the requisite awe to stand amazed at the absence of concern towards Maya’s campaign. MONEYMAKER Who knows with these morons, Christian? Landon Maddix actually summoned the gall to wonder why I’m allowed to attack a 13 year old because there are 80 or so wrestlers needing TV time. Those eighty or so losers can die in a ditch for all I, or the viewing public, care! Landon, when you’re fifty years old and the SWF is drawing crowds of 15 and President Maya Duncan-Blanchard-Effron decides that the thirty-dollar profit you made running a show in a Hobo encampment is too much, and decides to hit you with a 45% tax to give some crackhead with a penis addiction a welfare check, you’ll be sorry you didn’t listen to me! You’ll all be! COACH Tell em why you mad, son! MONEYMAKER I can almost forgive the little troglodytes at Beverly Vista, when your parents are either militant shaved headed carpet munchers with enough arm pit hair to make themselves look like cousin it or a limp wristed beef eaters that makes Michael Cole look like the son of Hercules, your judgment might be clouded. But, I can’t nor will I ever forgive the American voting public for the result of our presidential election. Maybe one day I’ll have a good chuckle. I don’t know. Maybe when I’m sitting on cloud nine with Jesus’ arm around me and angels singing of my triumphs and you’re all roasting in an orgy of blood and flames in hell I might bring myself to laugh at a man named Barack Obama becoming president of the nation of the United States! Wednesday morning I woke up to the stench of death and the promise the threat of this nation’s end will be looming over every sunset for the next four years. I woke up to the dawn of Satan’s reign over my country. Obama is a cultural terrorist, his wife is an Anti-american black supremacist, he aligns himself with our enemies. I can not and will not live through this betrayal of my Democracy. “U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!” MONEYMAKER Chant the name of the country you destroyed. Every vote cast for Barack Obama was like gunshot through old glory. America has died the death of a thousand cuts and you all held the knife. My heart bleeds for what I thought this country was. Honorable, just, proud, and intelligent. I promise you all this, that my blood will chill, my heart will freeze, and you all will feel the fury of my wrath. Know this! “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” MACKENZIE Stop and think about what you’re saying for a second. Teddy didn’t buy into the brainwashing of a biased liberal media. He didn’t let himself or impressionable minds around him (turns to Simon) get swindled into voting for a fast talking huckster named Barack Obama. That’s not even a real name. That’s like if I introduced myself as the Undertaker, or Ultimate Warrior. They might as well have named him Hakona matata, or Grape and Jam, or General Electric. I’m beside myself with grief to think that I have to say I live in a country where the president’s name sounds like a lyric from a Lion King song. Saddest of all I blame us females for Obama’s victory. We betrayed the country. The ladies are going to have a heart attack, but perhaps the right to vote should not have been given to us. God gave man dominion over the earth, not women. COACH Mad respect to The E for showing up tonight. You know other white folk huddled around a fire in their secret white meeting places, trynna figure out how to overturn the emancipation proclamation. MONEYMAKER I take it you’re all bored from this election talk. You came for the OAOAST and you want me to talk about the OAOAST! I bet you even want to see me throw a fit about the outcome of the tag title match at the Halloween Spectacular. But I won’t do that; I won’t give you that pleasure. The outcome of that match is inconsequential. Reject, ThunderKId congratulations, here’s to a long reign of defending the belt once every two months. Good job, guys. BWHAHAHAH. Normally I’d be upset to not be able to enjoy boasting of unseating the possible tag team of the year, but all is well with me. Sly Sommers is a physical wreck, possibly out the OAOAST- MACKENZIE Good riddance to that bad apple. MONEYMAKER Zack Malibu is beltless and has as solid a chance of ever winning a world title again as Josh Matthews! BWAHAHHAAH! Poor, poor, Zack. Its a shame what keeps happening to The Franchise. Try and try as he might every time he makes an attempt to one up me, fate somehow takes my side and he’s humiliated in front of the people that love him most. What a sad man he’s become. He's something off a self-parody. He’s nothing but a caricature of a human being. He's like a satire of a real wrestler, that doesn't realize his entire existence is one big joke. Poor guy, that Zack, poor guy. You almost have to feel bad watching him backstage spouting his longwinded wrestling platitudes that go nowhere and backfire as he comes up short in the ring once again. But I guess its only a matter of time before the people realize what I have known for a long time. Zack is a fraud and a joke and we’re all better off without him! “WE WANT ZACK! WE WANT ZACK! WE WANT ZACK!” WRIGHT Silence! MONEYMAKER The Rockers missing out on their record tying tag title reign is unfortunate but a minor issue. My will is preemptory and absolute, and can never be hindered from taking effect. My will is nothing else than God himself willing consequently it is omnipotent and unfrustratable. Except to one thing, the incompetence of my help. If a man is measured by the company he keeps then I suppose I come up pretty damn short! Sometimes my employees have needed a kick in the ass and I’ve been down this road before I know that. But never, ever with who I’m about to go down with it tonight. Ned, Simon, Molly, you are nothing short of disgraces! “BOOOOOOOOO!” the fans hiss as Ned is taken aback by those pointed comments. Molly attempts to play peace keeper but Ned is already ready to lay into Moneymaker. NED What the hell? Where do you get off flapping your gums to us like that? MONEYMAKER Where do you get off skipping the Halloween Spectacular to be chaperones at a campaign rally for Maya? That’s what I would like to know. I’m curious is all. Just trying to figure out why everyone of us was in Miami, and you were serving punch at a party for the daughter of my worst enemy? That’s all I want to know. NED First of all, you need to tone your voice down because I don’t like the way you’re talking to me one bit. Maya is Krista’s daughter, but she’s also mine, and as many times as I let that girl down I wasn’t gonna do it again. If you got a problem with that I can think of one or two ways we can settle it. “OOOOOOOOH!” Theodore seems ready to take Ned up on his offer to brawl, but at the very last moment thinks better of it and turns to a frightened Molly. MONEYMAKER Molly, I don’t have the time nor the patience to hear why you thought you could get away with filming a musical for Maya’s campaign. But, if I didn’t pay you exactly zero dollars and zero cents, you’d be finding somewhere else to get your graduated credits. MOLLY How rude! I believe we’re both all too aware of the number of times I begged you to perhaps assist me in my music video production class, only for my numerous pleas to fall on death ears. Fortunately, Alix was a willing actress when you were not, and saved me a failing grade. To do something as awful as to blame me for- MONEYMAKER I said I don’t want to hear it! And you, Simon? Where’s your flimsily whiny excuse? SIMON A man has needs, Teddy. Carnal needs. Lusting needs. Sexual needs. I’m just a man, Teddy! I can’t help who I am. As a man, when Ned tells me I have the choice between socializing with Maya’s hot single math teacher or watching the dude you pulled from a 7-11 counter and called your spiritual advisor go after Sommers, the choice is easy to make. Sorry, boss. That answer goes over rather poorly with The Messiah and the rest of The Enterprise who turn hateful glares onto Simon. MONEYMAKER Unacceptable! SLAP! NED The hell you did, son! The audience becomes abuzz with excitement over a possible throwdown between Ned and his boss. However, The Messiah is unwilling to sully his robes with a brawl and instead steps behind VICE. MONEYMAKER Bosley, CPA, escort them from my ring! Words are exchanged between Ned and VICE, as Moneymaker shouts for The Blonds to leave and the audience shouts for them to do battle with their friends and cohorts. Cooler heads wind up prevailing, though, and VICE escort a peaceful but surly BHB from the ring, leaving Moneymaker with Mackie and CW. “B-H-B! B-H-B! B-H-B!” the fans chant, marking the first time the fans have ever chanted the name of the hated tag team. WRIGHT Silence! MONEYMAKER This would be the worst week of my life if not for the fact that I finally get to salute a real American hero. You see for far too long have I been alone in fighting the good fight against Krista Isadora Duncan by myself. I have gotten no help or aid from my fellow OAOASTers. I haven’t even gotten a pat on the back in private or an appreciative nod backstage in passing. All I get is thankless hemming and hawing from the same people she thinks aren’t even worth the dirt it takes for her to bury them! Then finally one man swooped in and answered my call for justice. He didn’t best her at Zero Hour, but he along with his kindhearted partner brought down a group of women made fat and content from the lack of challenge to their corrupt reigime. Please join me in welcoming a real American. Mister Dick! The meshing of My Dick and Britney’s Womanizer brings out a chorus of boos from the fans. Standing beneath a resplendent golden shower of pyro is Mister Dick and his leather bound pain fiend Malayasia. The former women’s champion runs her hands along a baby oil soaked body that’s left nearly bare besides an all two small black and gold Mister Dick official towel available at wherever OAOAST stuff is available. Barely able to keep their hands off each other’s “special areas”, the twosome alternate between swapping spit with each other and insults with the audience as they glide down the entrance ramp. COLE Mister Dick and Malaysia picking up perhaps a surprise win over The Duncan family at Halloween Spectacular. COACH Ain’t no surprise about that when Jade’s involved. That girl could sink Jordan’s Bulls. It wouldn’t surprise if we find out the Patriots blew this year’s super bowl ‘cause they had Jade on the O line. Malaysia trots up the stairs to a boisterous round of applause and welcomes from the Enterprise’s braintrust. Her hands go into the air in celebration of her victory at the Halloween Spectacular, but the fans have no will to match her joy. Mister Dick’s entrance is far more grand, as he spins across the ring apron until he reaches the center. There he straddles the ring ropes and begins to rub his own personal moneymaker on them before he enters the ring and spins around with arms outstretched. “BOOOOO!” MISTER DICK Ah cram these 12 inches in it, ya bastards! Ted, you’re all right, man. You’re all right. Up until a couple seconds I thought this joint was just full of some of the stupidest sons of bitches I done ever conversed with! I was gettin’ to thinking I was gonna have to construct me an anti stupid forcefield to block out all the stupid bullshit that comes outta everybody’s mouth ‘round here. Crap like “you can’t beat Krista Isadora Duncan! Ain’t nobody but nobody pullin’ any moves on Krista! What you do as a job, she’s doin as a damn hobby, like a lil kid scribbling some crayloas on a colouring book. You gonna wind up just like the Wrecking Crew when its all over.” With all due respect to dem boys, do I look like a skinny black dude or a fat Brazilian? I’m the hottest hardbody you done ever seen and I don’t go down for no chick, the chicks go down for me and on me! Hell, maybe it ain’t that easy to beat Krista but I tell you what, when she teams up with the fat kid that stinks like one of Barbara Walter’s old lady farts on the set of The View, its easier than hitting the broad side of the barn. The fat kid ain’t worth a god damn! Is she Malaysia? MALAYSIA She does make the cutest cry when you piledrive her head against the mat. I do like it when she does that. MONEYMAKER The fat kid obviously being Jade Rodez-Duncan. MISTER DICK Jade, I ain’t ever gonna call you by your last name again! You ain’t got no last name as far as this here Human Hard On is concerned. You hear me? A Rodez is a number one contender to the OAOAST World Title, a Duncan is a world wide celebrity, you ain’t nothing but number one contender to be prize heffer at a county far, and your fat ass is as wide as the whole wide world! You disgust me, bitch. I just wanna puke my guts out when I have to talk about you. You’re a disappointment to yer mama, yer grand parents, yer sister, and yer uncle! I hope for their sake you die in a car accident, and they getta watch me take number two all over your grave! Yer hoish ass mama is gonna have to watch from the comforts of one of Los Angeles’ best hospitals, though. ‘Cause I ain’t through with her yet! Ain’t no way no how! I done said I’d be the first person to beat Krista 1 on 1 and I done said I would make that bull dagger dyke submit, and I promise ya’ll that I’m gonna be doin just that before the year is out. I’m gonna snap her limbs in two one by one, and I’m gonna plant my dickzillia right in her mouth, have my monstrous balls dangling on her chin, and take the ultimate pleasure from hearin her say I Quit! MFHFFIMFFQUMMITMMFF that’s how its gonna sound with my 12 inches rammed down her throat! WRIGHT Bravo! Bravo to you both! MONEYMAKER BWHAHAHAAHA! Mister Dick, you and Malaysia have restored my faith in this country. You have shown me, that hard work, perservence, and moral fiber still exist in this putrid wasteland. COLE Moral fiber? Didn’t he just threaten to break Krista’s bones and force her to engage his face sitting fetish? That’s just another Tuesday for me, but for everyone else its despicable! MONEYMAKER Your service to your country may be jeered by those who have no business living in it, but its rewarded by The Enterprise. Just to increase the lunacy a tad, a stagehand brings a gigantic cardboard check that’s highlighted by an American flag design, into the ring. The audience loudly jeers the gesture, obviously feeling that Mister Dick isn’t deserving of a single dime. Mister Dick, of course, feels he’s wholly entitled to his riches and beams with joy that’s greatly increased by Malaysia fondling his nipples from behind. The booing intensifies as a red, white and blue sparklers begin pouring down from scoreboard and a neon lighted version of the American flag shines down the ring. MONEYMAKER I present you and Malayaisa a check for no less than fifty thousand dollars! You've earned it, my friends, you've earned it. The remaining members of The Enterprise offer gracious applause to a newly rich Human Hard On and is beautiful dominatrix. Yet their congrats are easily overpowered by the hatred of an annoyed audience. MONEYMAKER And now let us play a song to celebrate the real American, Mister Dick and his real American woman, Malaysia! The fivesome hold their hands to their heart, and withhold proud tears as the following legendary song plays to the audience’s dismay… Halfway through the song, unless you listend to all of it and I don’t know why you could ‘cause most of you heard it a million times before, there’s a gigantic commotion from the capacity crowd. COLE Oh my! The commotion soon sorts itself out into enormous cheers as the camera catches Krista Isadora Duncan swatting down Christian Wright with a lacrosse stick! Just as soon as Wright goes down, does Moneymaker realize something is seriously amiss and with Mackenzie in hand he quickly scurries out the ring. From the safety of the ramp they watch in abject horror as Mister Dick is mortally wounded by vicious shot to his pride and joy! COACH No! Adding insult to considerably injury, The Cocky Prick is brought down to the canvas by the KIDology (codebreaker)! The audience explodes with an onrush of cheers as Moneymaker throws a fit but makes no movement to challenge Krista. Less, fearful of embarrassment Malaysia, angrily captures Krista unaware with a fistful of her flowing blond locks. With a twisted snarl on her face, her intent is to inflict some of the pain she loves do dear. As she maneuvers Miss California onto her shoulders her wish inches closer to reality. But, Krista is far to skillful for the sadistic femme and shimmies her way out of the hold to strike her with the KIDology! Malayasia flops onto the canvas, with no signs of enjoying this particular brand of pain. The fans, however are ecstatic, and are made even more say when Krista picks up CW merely to nail him with the KIDology! COLE The Natural, and The Real American Prick, getting exactly what they deserve! Even one of the cameramen filming this affair isn’t safe from the rampge as Krista drops with the KIDology for no other reason then the fact that he has a penis and is there. The second cameraman to try and get a shot of the action meets the same unfortunate fate. With both cameras currently ownerless, Krista is free to chuck them at Moneymaker and Mackenzie! The crowd delights in watching her send her lacrosse stick, Mister Dick’s jumbo sized check, the microphones, and MD’s cowboy hat flying at her archnemsises. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” the audience chants. Krista realizes she’s suddenly out of things to throw, and urges the audience to send their young to the ring so she’ll have a replishined arsenal of projectiles. While security urges the fans not to do that, Moneymaker and Mackie beat an angry and hasty retreat. They stand at the top of the ramp, launching threats and profanities at their continued tormentor. COACH I fucks with The Enterprise like that, no question, but ya’ll gotta know better than to mess with a woman’s kids like that. Especially a white woman! Especially a jewish woman! I was explaining to some kid earlier today a ince it's common knowledge that in prison when you go for a shower and drop the soap, you get raped. Why the fuck don't they just add those little hand-pumped soap dispensers in prison? That squirt out the liquid soap? You'd cut down sodomy by like 80%. And this white lady came up and said "how'd you get into my son's bedroom?" Bitch, I broke in how the hell you think I got in there? COLE If I wanna rape, I’m gonna rape, and none of your fruity soaps is gonna stop me. Folks, HeldDOWN continues with so much more after this. We’ve got tag titles on the line, Zack Malibu is in the house, so stay tuned! COMMERCIAL

Backstage, Todd Cortez is walking the halls, when he's approached by Sandman9000. SANDMAN Cortez? CORTEZ Yep. SANDMAN We haven't met. I'm Sandman9000, Heartland champion. Sandman extends a hand to Cortez, who shakes it after a couple seconds of reservation. SANDMAN I've seen your stuff...you're one tough guy. Tough enough to fill the role that I'm here to talk to you about. CORTEZ And what's that? SANDMAN Well, the Deadly Alliance has started recruiting guys to fill the fifth spot that we've opened up. And I can't think of anyone more qualified for that spot than you. CORTEZ Well, that's very flattering. SANDMAN Like I said, I've kept tabs on you. I know you don't want anything to do with Cucaracha Internacional. And those guys really don't like you, either. So what's the holdup, ditch those guys! CORTEZ Well, that all sounds good, but I'm under contract... SANDMAN Screw the contract! What are those guys going to do about it? Those guys are a bunch of pussies. If they give any of us any shit, we'll leave them laying worse than the Phillies left the Brewers. *crowd boos* CORTEZ Damn, that's rough! SANDMAN So just think it over, huh? Sandman walks off, as Cortez pauses, then continues his walk. COMING UP NEXT ONE AND ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES LEON RODEZ AND PRL VS THUNDERKID AND REJECT NEXT! JUST ANNOUNCED! NEXT WEEK ON HeldDOWN~! SUBMISSION MATCH KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS MISTER DICK NEXT WEEK~! CARD SUBJECT TO CHANGE WITHOUT NOTICE! COMMERCIAL