Patty O'Green

BEFORE THE BREAK COLE Folks, we know that Shayne has been taken to a local hospital, and we hope for the best. We'll keep you updated on his condition if we hear anything and please go to OAOAST.com to get updated throughout the week. We're taken backstage where everyone's favorite Zack Effron look-a-like Spencer Reiger is on a one man victory parade through the hallways. His joy is tempered somewhat when he bumps into a stern faced Tim Cash. SPENCER Aww jesus, you again. I don't know you, bro, we're not friends, quit being all in my face like that. CASH Just hear me out. SPENCER I don't wanna hear you out. I've been hearing you out since I got here, and I'm sick of hearing you out. Lemme alone, go bug someone else. Why are you trynna piss on my great parade? CASH I'm just trying to instill some respect into you, Spencer. I see that you're happy that you won and you have the right to some joy. But, your opponent may have hurt himself pretty seriously out there. If we're lucky its just a sprain or a bruise but if we're unlucky... SPENCER Then what? What am I supposed to do about it? Get a doctor's degree in five minutes so I can perform emergency surgery? You're off your rocker, old man. CASH I didn't say that. But he's on his way to the hospital, and I think the least you could do is go over and sit with him. SPENCER Ahhh gimmie a break, man. Yeah, I'm really gonna sit in an emergency room for three hours with some kid I hardly even know. Sure. Miss me with that, Timmy. Hey, it sucks that the kid got hurt, but its not...my...problem. Spencer scowls at the lecturing Cash and trots off to continue his celebration. Elsewhere Backstage in the In Crowd locker room we find Leon Rodez getting ready for his main-event match later tonight. Leon pulls his elbowpad up with a snap, before slicking his hair into place in the mirror, in which we see both Zack Malibu sat across the room on his Blackberry. Which may account for some of the many styling products lined beside the mirror. ZACK I'm sure Melissa'll approve. LEON Har har. With his hair styled to military precision, Leon grabs his robe off the hanger and starts to pull it on. LEON We'll see how much she approves of me kicking Reject's BUTT tonight, how about that? I mean, I'd hate to think that if Reject lost his belt tonight she'd ditch him and find another meal-ticket to mooch off of. How tragic that would be. Still, you sleep with dogs, you gotta expect to wake up with fleas, know what I'm saying? ZACK Says a man speaking from experience. LEON Hey, I never slept with Melissa! Leon sorts his robe out, smoothing out any creases. LEON I mean, I don't think I did, it gets confusing sometimes. ZACK You're telling me. LEON Hey, have you ever noticed how all the Nerdly's names begin with an 'M'. How weird is tha... Trailing off, Leon turns away from his reflection to see Bohemoth entering the locker room. Clearly having come straight from a workout session elsewhere in the arena, Bohemoth sets his bags down and wipes the sweat from his brow. BOHEMOTH What's happenin' guys? ZACK Johnny Bravo here's getting ready for his Tag Title match. BOHEMOTH With PR? Heh... good luck with that. Leon raises an eyebrow. Not in the way a certain person would, but still. LEON Good luck? That's not a piece of cautionary advice by any chance is it? Look, I've dealt with PRL before bigman. I know what he's like. Or, was like. Whatever. But that's all water under the bridge. He seems like he's turned a corner since dumping The Lightning Crew, I'm happy enough to take the guy at face value for the night. ZACK Yeah, but, this is Tha Puerto Rican we're talking about. BOHEMOTH Exactly. LEON Would you guys lighten up? Jeez. If this is what being in the World Title scene does to you, turns you all bitter and jaded, maybe I oughta rethink this number one contendership thing. Just because we're opponents at November Reign, doesn't mean we can't go out there tonight and take the World Tag Team Titles off of Thunderkid and Reject and enjoy it, does it? Bohemoth and Zack glance at each other with very dubious expressions on their faces. LEON Look, all I know is, last month I was getting kicked in the nuts by some Nerdly girl and was constantly arguing with my girlfriend Nerdly girl about being friends with another Nerdly girl. Life stunk. Then, I took in some 'home movies' with a fan of mine... who also happened to be a Nerdly girl. Now, I've got a shot at gold tonight and a shot at the World Title at November Reign. So it could be worse. A smile forms on Leon's face. LEON Yep, everything's finally going my way. And I owe it all to casual sex! Leon breezes past Zack and Bo and out of the room, leaving at them to look at each other again. BOHEMOTH That's your kid's godparent. ZACK (sadly) I know. VOTE OR PERISH IN HELL! THE OAOAST ANGLE AWARDS COMING THIS DECEMBER! COMMERCIAL

"The World Is Mine" greets us back to HeldDOWN~! A wealth of flickering and flashing spotlights that alternate between entirely red and entirely white blast their way across the entrance stage. The lights on the floor then turn blue cutting through a thin haze that fills the stage. Stepping into this tranquil mist, Spencer does an arrogant twirl before doing a quick Timberlake style dance. He saunters down the ramp, cloaked by a bright white spot light to contrast the flashing blue and red "SR" shaped illuminations on the entrance ramp. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall! Introducing first, from Manhattan, New York. Weighing in at two hundred and ten pounds... "THE ONE MAN TRIPLE THREAT"... SSSSSPPEEEEENNCCCCCEEEEEEERRRRR... RRRREEEEEEEIIIIIGGEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! At the bottom of the ramp he picks out a young fan who's clearly pro-D*LUX judging by the Shayne and Tyler action figures in her hands. Already she's giving Spencer the thumbs down but against form, he presents a peace offering. Reiger unfolds a glossy D*LUX poster. Not just any poster, but a signed one! The young girl can't believe her luck... and soon learns the lesson that if it seems too good to be true, it probably is, as Spencer TEARS THE POSTER UP RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER EYES!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COACH Oh my word that's the greatest thing I've ever seen in my life! The poor girl is comforted by her father, as Spencer yells "AND SANTA'S FAKE TOO!" as he climbs into the ring. There he goes to the top rope and rips open his Ed Hardy hoody to show off his body as the lights rapidly and endlessly switch from red to blue to yellow to white. COLE What a jerk this kid is. COACH I dunno, I like him. COLE You would. As Reiger continues to rile the crowd, "Makes Me Wonder" by Maroon 5 hits. Out from the back bounds Shayne Brave, with a less bounding Tyler backing him up. The green denim clad boybander slaps hands a-plenty on his way to the ring, with Tyler joining in just a little even if he's in the role of back-up tonight. BUFFER And his opponent. Accompanied to the ring by TYLER BRYANT! Hailing from Detroit, Michigan... he weighs one hundred, eighty three pounds... one half of D*LUX, he is "SHOWTIME"... SSSSSSHHHHHHAAAAAAYYYYNNEEEEE... BBRRRRRAAAAAAAVVVVVEEEEEEEE!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" D*LUX apparantly had monitors within eyeshot while they were wating backstage, as they find the wronged fan from earlier and give her hugs. Which cheers her up just a bit. COLE Aw. Isn't that nice to see? COACH Where I came from there's laws against that kinda thing. *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds and Shayne quickly gets the crowd clapping. Spencer shows what he thinks of that, with some mocking clapping of his own before giving the fans the 'up yours'. "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" Spencer gives up at this point and locks up with Shayne. Side headlock applied and Shayne in control to the delight of the crowd. The taller Reiger picks Shayne up and looks for a back suplex, but a few wrenches on the head see Shayne safely back down onto his feet, executing a headlock takeover. Spencer applies a headscissors to escape, but Shayne just as quickly floats over to his feet. COLE Two fine young athletes here, personalities aside. Looking unimpressed, Spencer picks himself up and they lock-up again. This time Spencer trips Shayne up and transfers into a wristlock, nodding confidently. But Shayne kips up and armdrags Reiger over! Shayne executes a second armdrag. And a third. And that's quite enough for Reiger who bails to the outside. Calling for a timeout, he heads back over to torment the girl D*LUX fan again! But Tyler steps in to protect the little girl's honour. Spencer mocks him for that, before turning around to find Shayne defending honour also, with some right hands! COLE This Reiger has a real attitude problem. This guy's gotten a little preferential treatment and special attention because he's talented. And now, he clearly thinks his stuff don't stink and he's the best thing since sliced bread. COACH It's called confidence. If you were talented, you'd understand. Reiger rolls back into the ring to escape the right hands, Shayne looking to follow. Spencer catches him in between the ropes with a knee though. Pulling Shayne back inside, Reiger executes a scoop slam, then drops down and applies a blatant choke in front of the referee (who isn't Charles Robinson!) "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" Reiger breaks the choke, telling referee Jack Doane to 'talk to the hand'. He then closes the hand up and drops a fist, making a cover... 1... 2... No. Spencer pulls Shayne back up, delivering a right hand. And another. With Shayne backed in a corner, Reiger drives a knee before sending him across the ring. After giving an 'up yours' to Tyler, The Prodigy charges but Shayne gets a knee up! Then a boot to the midsection. Popping onto the middle rope, Shayne then drives both boots into the spine of Spencer, causing him to faceplant into the mat! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE That's the Showtime Stomp! As Shayne whips the D*LUX fans up, his attentions are taken by LOS CONQUISTADORS, who have appeared on the entrance stage, clouded in smoke! The smoke would be slightly more intimidating if we didn't see a stagehand running off with a bucket of water in hand, having just set off some dry ice though. COLE Now, what are those goofs doing out here? COACH I wouldn't call them goofs if I were you. Not unless you want your eyeballs to melt and bleed into your socks, leaving you only able to see out of your big toes. And then die. Shayne points to the 'voodoo warriors', before he lands a dropkick on Reiger and covers... 1... 2... No. Back up, Shayne sends Reiger into a corner. He then charges... but missed a corner attack and ends up clattering into the turnbuckles, as Los Conquistadors wave their hands around mysteriously. COLE Don't even start. They had nothing to do with it. COACH Interesting that your first thought was to deny it though, isn't it? Reiger has left the ring and stands on the apron working out the kinks in his back. Before the referee's count can get too high, he then runs down the apron and delivers an enziguri to the back of Shayne's head from the outside! COLE Ooh, nice move from the rookie there. Spencer quickly follows up with a pin attempt... 1... 2... Kickout! Setting Shayne back down, Reiger measures him... and measures him some more... before dropping a well-measured knee on him. On the ramp, Los Conquistadors begin to chant low under their breaths, which seems to confuse even Reiger. COLE You know, they could well be putting a spell on Reiger for walking out on them during that 10 Man Tag the other weeks. COACH I thought you said you didn't believe in that stuff. COLE I did... I mean, I don't... this is what I get for humouring you. Reiger continues to look confused as he pulls Shayne up and underhooks an arm. He takes too long underhooking the second though, allowing Shayne to backdrop his way free! Reiger gets back up and aims with a right, but Shayne blocks and lands one of his own. Right blocked, right from Shayne. And again, Shayne finally getting the upperhand and hitting the ropes. Reiger cuts him off with a boot to the gut on the rebound though before spitting in Tyler's direction. COLE Oh that's classy. The ever-confident Spencer eventually looks for an irish whip. But Shayne manages to reverse and catches Reiger coming back with a Leg Lariat!! COLE Oh, that might shut Reiger's mouth for a little bit. "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" Tyler gets the crowd rocking behind his partner as he fights to his feet. Instantly Shayne heads for the turnbuckles, specifically the top one. Reiger picks himself up and dusts himself off, both complete wastes of time as Shayne soars off the top with Flying Clothesline to put him back down! Cover... 1... 2... NO! COLE Kickout by Reiger. Like the kid or not, he's been making waves and what a coo it would be if he could pick up another victory over an established OAOAST superstar in Shayne Brave! COACH The world is gonna sit up and take notice of Spencer Reiger Mikey. They ain't gonna have a choice! Shayne turns and points out Los Conquistadors as their chanting continues, then turns his attentions back to The One Man Triple Threat. Backing in, Shayne applies a 3/4 facelock, looking for the Shaynedrop... but Reiger catches hold of him. Picking Shayne's legs up off the mat, Spencer launches his opponent away across the ring. COLE Nice counter there by Reiger. Coming down hard, Shayne lets out a squeal of pain. And he stays down. COACH Well Reiger had that move scouted, the kid's got brains. Maybe he's more than a triple threat, maybe he's a One Man Fatal Four Way... or something. Spencer goes to follow up on Shayne, but with the boybander lying on the mat and writhing in pain referee Jack Doane backs New York's Finest up while he checks on his condition. Clear concern shows on Tyler's face as he rounds the ring besides Shayne who clutches his arm, kicking his feet. Suddenly the fans begin to quieten, as even Reiger looks on. COLE I think Shayne's hurt here. COACH Well he might have landed awkwardly when Spencer threw him, but... yeah, this don't look good. With the referee checking on Shayne, Reiger moves forward again but Doane backs him up and gives him a talking too. Meanwhile Shayne, with pain etched on his face, starts to try and sit up. That's enough to get the action going again... for about five seconds, before Reiger comes off the ropes and slams his knee into Shayne's face! COLE Blood Is The New Black for Spencer Reiger. Quickly, Reiger covers Shayne up... 1... 2... 3!! *DINGDINGDING!* Some scattered boos go up, as Spencer rolls off of Shayne who goes back to favouring his arm. Tyler immediately slides in to check on his partner as Reiger celebrates, albeit noticeably muted before he leaves the ring. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... SSPPEEENNCCCEEEEERRR... RRREEEEEIIIIIGGEEERRRR!! COLE A win for Spencer Reiger, but... this doesn't look good for Shayne Brave I'm afraid. Tyler tries to calm Shayne down as we EMTs hitting the ring. COLE This is not what anyone wants to see. COACH No. I mean, I'm no big D*LUX fan but you hate to see anyone get hurt out here and unfortunately it looks like what's happened. COLE Okay, well we can only hope this isn't as serious as it looks right now. We'll be right back. As Shayne is attended to, we cut to a commercial break. LATERZ ON TONIGHTZ ONE AND ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM TITLEZ LEON RODEZ AND PRL VZ REJECT AND THUNDERKIDZ MAIN EVENTZ 2NIGHTZ COMMERCIAL

We return to the Thanksgiving decorated sofa central to see that the live turkeys have not eaten our announcers. Too bad. COLE Life as an OAOAST Women's Champion isn't all about live events and title defences. Especially not the last one. And especially if you're the daughter of a mainstream superstar! Early last month the OAOAST Women's Champion Jade Rodez-Duncan was lucky enough to step out with her own stardom and tread the red carpet at the premiere of Disney's High School Musical 3 with little sister Maya. Unfortunately, restraining orders prohibited me from being there too. But now that that court case has been settled we can now bring you Molly Nerdly's exclusive red carpet footage, let's take a look. Uptempo music plays over the various pans of the exciting, young crowd and shots of the movie's stars arriving. MOLLY (V.O, w/Best Auditioning for E! Job Voice) The glitz and glamour of a movie premiere. An electric cornicopia of excitable energy. But on this occassion, there is a certain childhood innocence to Tinseltown. Even the hardest heart inside the oldest cynic can't help but be swept up in this atmosphere... shame Krista refused to attend really. More shots of the movie franchise's stars. MOLLY (V.O) Everybody who's anybody who's in High School Musical 3 is here. Ashley Tisdale. Vanessa Hudgens. And one guy who looks suspiciously like Spencer Reiger. We then see shots of some of the invited celebrity guests, eventually including the Duncan children. Looking a little shell shocked Jade very carefully walks the carpet in a more glamourous than we're used to associating her with purple dress, no doubt filled with fears of an embarrasing trip on an upturned piece of red felt. She squints as the flashbulbs go off all around her, blinding her with bright unexpected lights. Maya on the other hand seems much more comfortable with the screaming crowds and waves out a few times. Another shot sees the Duncan girls being interviewed by various, non-Molly Nerdly reporters. Jade doesn't seem too thrilled with all the on-camera appearances though, repeatedly worrying about her posture and state of her dress, no doubt the result of a long red carpet ettiquette talk from mother. MOLLY (V.O) Amongst these famous faces are two of Hollywood's most famous beacons of childhood innocence. Jade Rodez-Duncan and suspected child genius Maya Blanchard Duncan were among the lucky people related to celebrities who had children to give their tickets too. And after the movie, we caught up with them for a special chat. Cut to later after the movie, where the crowds are slightly calmer and smaller now, allowing Jade to relax just a little more than before. Maya looks completely excited with her night, while Jade seems eager to keep her on a tight leash having been left in charge of her, preventing her from running off and apprehending another celebrity by grabbing her wrist, then forcing a smile for the camera again. MOLLY So how have you enjoyed the day girls? JADE Oh, you know, it's been really fun actually. I wasn't expecting so many people! Heh! It's my first movie premiere you see and there's lots of screaming and lots of lights, but I enjoyed it once I managed to get my bearings back. And I got to meet some nice people that Maya introduced to me as well. I never imagined myself being invited to something like this. It's been fun. Good fun. MOLLY And where is Krista tonight if you don't mind me asking? JADE Oh, she... uh... was busy. With other projects? MAYA Plus she refused to come since she thinks any movie aimed at the child market must automatically insult her intelligence. Not to mention her dislike for all things of a happy exuberance, especially when it's in song and dance form. So she gave Jade her ticket. Hi Mommy! Miss you! MOLLY Aw. MAYA Hey Molly, look, I got Zac Efron's autograph! Maya produces the piece of paper and as Molly goes to have a look, she pulls it away. MAYA Hey grabby! Look with your eyes, unless you're willing to meet my asking price. Ya know, once it's been copied it a few hundred times. Alix has already got them listed on eBay, so it's a good job I came through. Unlike SOME people. I told Jade to ask for his telephone number, but she was too chicken. JADE I told you, he's got a girlfriend Maya. It would have looked bad. MAYA Well I couldn't very well have asked him, could I? Realising the sibling arguement is good material, Molly double-checks she's got the right shot before appearing back from behind the camera with her own forced smile. MOLLY So now you've mingled with the stars and you've seen the movie, how about you give us an appraisal of the movie? What did you think of High School Musical 3? MAYA Sometimes a shamelessly immature and proudly irreverent bubblegum pop movie is all you want out of your life. High School Musical fits that role and then some! From the very first leering closeup of Zac Effron shaking off sweat on the basketball court before bursting into a song, its clear that this film like its predecessors is one gigantic sappy marshmallow, and its absolutely delicious. Efron’s co-star Vanessa Hudgens has charm, style and voice, and gives female prodigy Ashley Tisdale a run for her money as most talented songsmith on an already exceptional cast. High School Musical is a chance to salute the masters of song and mirth one last time. Take it. Though candy coated on the outside, High School Musical is after something you don’t often find in multiplexes overran with Chihuahuas and superhero flicks. An insight into the human condition. The film is a synecdoche, a figure of speech that indicates a part standing for the whole. In this case the part of a high school graduation and the uncertainties that go with it stand for the whole of the uncertainty that hounds human life from its very conception. Our lives are not stagnant, they are organic and pliable lifeforms and though we make plans we never truly know where the next moment in time will take us. All we can do is be like Troy and Gabriella, love the ones we’re with and remember them fondly when they’re gone. In that way High School Musical 3 is a lesson worth learning for students of all ages. JADE I like the dancing. MOLLY That's great, thanks girls! -BACK TO THE ARENA- COACH Okay, Jade just flat out fails at life. I ain't even gonna be subtle about it. COLE Well she's not got much of a future as a movie critic. But she was hardly failing, or hanging onto Krista's coat-tails which I see you've already written down ready to use in a second, if you ask me. Jade enjoying some of the perks of being OAOAST Women's Champion. Those perks might not last much longer though, as we found out during the week due to her victory at The Halloween Spectacular, Malaysia Nerdly has put herself in line for another Women's Title shot. She will get that shot at November Reign. And, get this, by challenger's request it'll be no disqualifications, no count-outs, a California Street Fight! Jade could be in some big trouble come November Reign! COACH Man, even I might not want to watch that massacre. Or, then again, maybe I might! But I might feel guilty about it afterwards. A little. NOVEMBER REIGN WOMEN'S TITLE CALIFORNIA STREET FIGHT JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN VS MALAYSIA OAOAST WORLD TITLE LEON RODEZ VS PRL NOVEMBER 30TH JUST ANNOUNCED! NEXT WEEK ON HeldDOWN~! SUBMISSION MATCH KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS MISTER DICK NEXT WEEK~! CARD SUBJECT TO CHANGE WITHOUT NOTICE! COMMERCIAL

We head to the back once again, this time to find Zack Malibu flying solo, set to speak with longtime running buddy Josh Matthews. JOSH Zack, I hate to be the guy who always has to bring these things up, but you must not be in high spirits after what's gone down this past week. ZACK You know what, Josh? You're absolutely right. I'm not in high spirits. I've got one of my best friends, a man that I personally trained for a career here in the OAOAST, at home rehabbing a knee that was damaged thanks to Alfdogg at the Halloween Spectacular. I've got Alfdogg trying to lure Bohemoth away from The In Crowd, looking to strengthen his ranks at the expense of mine. I've got Moneymaker crying foul at every turn, yet every time I want to get the guy in the ring, he seems to have more important things to do. Personally Josh, I'm at the end of my rope and... Just then, ALISON comes into the scene, causing Zack to stop talking and allow the scowl on his face to express his feelings. ALISON Feeling a bit down lately, Zackary? Did you really not see this all coming? Listen to you, whining like a twelve year old girl who hasn't gotten to see High School Musical 3 yet. It's karma, Zack. For everything you've ever done to anyone in this company, out of this company, to your friends, your family...to ME. It's finally come full circle, and I am SO happy that I get to be around for your breakdown! ZACK Alison, honestly, I STILL don't get why you're around. You show up out of nowhere, trying to spin something that happened five years ago around, when we have proof of the opposite. You show up here at these shows and spew some venom, talk about how you'll be avenged and hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, but honestly, what do you offer to anyone? What does The Enterprise even gain from having you around? Alison, looking rather unhappy about Zack putting her in her place, retaliates. She slaps Zack IN ANGER~!, leaving a red handprint on the left cheek of the preppy superstar! ALISON My purpose...my ONLY PURPOSE for coming back was to see you pay for your sins, Zack. I want to be there when you can't take it. When your broken, beaten, emotionally and physically. I want you to feel what you made ME feel five years ago. You made me feel completely worthless, and I fully support Theodore Moneymaker's agenda to do the same to you. This company, those sheep that you call your fans, none of them NEED you, Zack. That's what I'm here to make them all realize. I thought I needed you at one point, but then I realized that I wasn't going to cry over my loss. That I could prove to myself that I didn't need you to make myself happy. I've grown into a stronger, more confident woman. I can handle my own battles. If you've noticed, my brother goes about his own business and I go about mine...no more overprotective psycho. I'm leading my own life now. I'm doing what I want, and it seems I've inherited some of the family bloodlust. I want to see you suffer, Zack. I want to hear your bones snap, and I want to see you bleed, and I want it to happen in front of the world but ESPECIALLY in front of that bitch and bastard baby sitting in your... At the mere mention of his family, Zack flinches, but knows better than to hit Alison. ALISON Ooooh, temper temper, Zackary. Am I striking a nerve? Huh? What are you going to do, hit me? Huh? Hit me, Zack. HIT ME! Alison, getting more courageous by the second, slaps Zack hard a second time, but Malibu refuses to stoop to her level. ALISON Come on, you selfish, stupid bastard! Are you afraid to hit me? The role model to millions is being humbled by a girl on national television, and you can't even say anything about it? That's priceless! That's... All of a sudden, Alison gets grabbed by the hair by none other than KRISTA~! Alison shrieks as Krista drags her away from Zack, and the cameras watch as Krista takes her and hurls her onto the catering table, covering Alison in all sorts of delicassies! Alison rolls off the table and onto the floor, covered in various edible substances, while Krista stands proudly. ZACK You didn't have to do that. KRISTA Please, it was my pleasure. I don't think you should complain. ZACK Well, then let's just say I owe you one, kid. KRISTA Happy to help. Krista strolls off, leaving Zack and Josh to shrug it off and walk away, leaving Alison embarrassed here on HeldDOWN~! COLE The night keeps on getting worse and worse for The Enterprise! Fans we'll be back with more HeldDOWN~! TONIGHT TEENAGE GIRLS ARE IN HEAVEN AND SO AM I! SPENCER REIGER Vs SHAYNE BRAVE TONIGHT! COMMERCIAL

OAOAST SAY WHAAAAAAT? Zack Malibu has mainevented more Anglemania's than Hulk Hogan, Courtney Cox and Derek Jeter COMBINED!! Rock Your Baby hits, and a purple light fills the entryway as light, haze-like smoke fills the arena. A big, multicolored disco ball lowers from the ceiling, sending the colors through the smoke and all over the arena, as Vinny Valentine bursts through the curtains, followed by Tony Tourettes, Biff Atlas, and Ken Pantera. COLE Ready for a six-man tag match here on HeldDOWN~! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following is a six-man tag team match, scheduled for one fall! Making their way to the ring, accompanied by Tony Tourettes, at a combined weight of 714 pounds...introducing first, VINNY VALENTINE and BIFF ATLAS...PANIC AT THE DISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Vinny climbs onto the apron and dances, as the crowd boos. BUFFER Their tag team partner...KENNNNNNN PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRR AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! COLE And there is Ken Pantera, who made his official OAOAST return to competition at Busch Gardens last week, this his first match in an OAOAST wrestling ring in nearly two years! COACH Well, he looks good to me, Cole, this man obviously very powerful, probably the strongest man in all of wrestling! COLE And Pantera returning to the OAOAST as the "bouncer" for Panic at the Disco! hits, and Deuce Deuce Bigelow walks through the curtains, followed by Los Diablos de Fuego. COLE And here come their opponents! BUFFER Their opponents...at a total combined weight of 737 pounds...introducing first, MARIACHI and MORACCA...LOS DIABLOS DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! And their partner...DEUCE DEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCE BIGELOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! Deuce slaps hands with the fans ringside, as Moracca hands off his sombrero and Mariachi does his thing in the ring. Deuce and Moracca climb inside, and everyone goes over strategy, then leave Mariachi and Vinny inside as the referee calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* Mariachi and Vinny start to circle the ring, before Mariachi stops, and holds his hands out, then goes into a dance routine. He then points to Vinny, asking him to top his move. Vinny simply laughs, then turns and goes into his own routine, while Mariachi sneaks behind the back and tags in Deuce. COLE Uh-oh! Vinny walked right into that trap! Deuce stands behind Vinny for a second, then spins him around and floors him with a clothesline! He then whips Vinny into the ropes, and catches him with a samoan drop! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Deuce picks up Vinny, then scoops him up and hangs him in a tree of woe, and tags in Moracca. Moracca lays in some kicks, then Deuce jumps down and grabs Vinny's arms from the outside, as Moracca calls out to the crowd, then delivers a STINKFACE~! COACH Oh no! Moracca then tags in Mariachi, who grabs Vinny down, then climbs onto his back and starts to ride him! COLE And the crowd is loving this action from the Diablos! Mariachi then hits Vinny with a dropkick! He then backs into the ropes, where Biff attempts to grab him, and gets met with a right hand for his troubles! COLE And Biff gets some, as well! However, this gives Vinny time to drill Mariachi as he turns around with a back elbow! COACH Yeah! COLE And a big elbow from Vinny! Vinny then tags in Biff, and the two make a wish on Mariachi! Biff then picks up Mariachi, and executes a SIDE BELLY-TO-BELLY, then covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Biff then sets up the OHSAA APPROVED POWERBOMB~!, but Mariachi counters into a hurricanrana, then tags in Deuce! COLE And the big man back in there! Deuce grabs Biff, and whips him into the ropes. Biff ducks a clothesline, but gets hit with a SPINNING WHEEL KICK~! COLE And a spinning wheel kick from the near 400-pounder! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Deuce gets to his feet, and falls forward with a headbutt! He then runs into the ropes, where Pantera drives a knee into his back! COLE And Ken Pantera from the outside! Biff follows up with a SPEAR~! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Biff tags in Vinny, who joins with Biff for a double team Irish whip, and a double clothesline! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Vinny then tags in Pantera. COLE And here comes Ken Pantera for the first time! Pantera drives in forearms to the back of Deuce, then picks him up, and lifts him for a GORILLA PRESS SLAM~! COLE You gotta be kidding me! COACH Look at the strength, Cole! The crowd stands in awe as Pantera goes to a full extension of the arms, then tosses Deuce down to the mat! COACH Wow! COLE Amazing strength by the former Olympic powerlifter! PATD applauds on the apron, as Pantera flexes his right bicep, then makes his way over and tags Vinny back in. Vinny backs into the ropes, and drops a knee to the sternum, then gets up and does some dancing, as the crowd boos. Vinny then covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Vinny tags Pantera back in, and Pantera picks up Deuce and whips him into a corner. He charges with a shoulder, but Deuce hops over, then rolls down with a sunset flip! 1... 2... Kickout! Pantera gets to his feet, then floors Deuce with a clothesline! He then tags Vinny, who comes in and sits on the back of Deuce, grabbing his face with his hands! Deuce eventually fights to his feet with Vinny on his back, but Vinny slides off and shoves him into the corner, then tags in Biff. Biff steps to the bottom rope. COACH Uh oh, here comes that bottom rope big splash! Biff jumps all the way off the bottom rope down onto Deuce, but Deuce gets the knees up! COLE But Deuce gets the knees up! COACH But Deuce gets the knees up! Deuce crawls over to his corner, and tags in Moracca! COLE And a tag is made! Moracca whips Biff into the ropes, and catches him with a big backdrop! As Biff tries to get to his feet, Moracca catches him with a FAME-ASSER~! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Moracca then tags Mariachi, who springs to the top rope, and catches Biff with a SEATED SENTON, into a compromising pin... 1... 2... Vinny saves! Moracca goes after Vinny, while Pantera and Deuce go at it in another corner. COLE And all six men in the ring! Deuce gets the better of Pantera, while the Diablos whip PATD into each other! Pantera then backdrops Deuce to the floor, while Moracca sets up Vinny for the GO 2 CHEEK~!!!!!11111 COLE Here it comes, the Go 2 Cheek! However, Pantera lifts Moracca in an electric chair, while Vinny is still on his shoulders, then drops him face-first to the mat! COLE What a move by Ken Pantera, with also all of Vinny's weight crashing into Moracca there! Pantera then hooks the FULL NELSON~!!!, pulling Moracca up off the mat, and swinging him around, causing Moracca to quickly tap out! *DING DING DING* COLE And Ken Pantera, along with Panic at the Disco, picking up a big win! BUFFER The winners of the match...the team of PANIC AT THE DISCO and KENNNNNNN PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRR AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! Pantera tosses Moracca down to the mat and flexes his muscles, as PATD and Tony celebrate with him. COLE And a rare victory on HeldDOWN~! for Panic at the Disco, thanks to their bouncer, Ken Pantera! COACH Yeah, Sandman better watch out, his win streak could be in jeopardy! COLE

Ned Blanchard is seen walking down the hallway backstage, then turns into a dressing room, where he sees Thunderkid, Reject, and Melissa Nerdly waiting on him. NED What are you doing in here? TK Waiting for you, Ned. REJECT That's right. We've wanted to talk to you for a while, but weren't sure how to reach out to you. NED Well, here I am. What do you want? REJECT We wanted to talk to you about your standing in the Enterprise. There seems to be a lot of conflict between you and the Money Man lately. NED Yeah, he says I don't put up results. What the hell is that? I'm a FOUR-TIME World tag team champion. TK And that's exactly what we want to talk about Ned. You've got a lot of talent, no matter what that tool Moneymaker says. REJECT That's right. You don't need the Enterprise. You need people who will appreciate your talent. People like...us. NED What are you talking about? REJECT Well, as you know, we're adding a fifth member to the Deadly Alliance, and we feel that spot would be a big boost for both us and you. NED Well...I don't know, that's a very tempting offer. But what about Simon? TK Forget Simon. It's you we're interested in. We really admire how you don't just kowtow to Moneymaker's demands because of his money. You keep on doing your own thing, how you want to do it. And that's what the Deadly Alliance is all about, doing things OUR way. *pause* REJECT Anyway, just something to think about. TK, Reject and Melissa walk off, leaving Ned to think things over. -The screen fades in to a hallw- "SOPHIE! GET IN HERE!!" -From out of frame comes... SOPHIE GREY!! Sophie dashes down the hallway, muttering to herself in French. SOPHIE Toujours m'a me dépêchant partout. ..one lieu à un autre, aucun repos. ..I jure... -Sophie pushes open a door leading to a rather dark room. Sophie looks to her left, leading the camera to pan with her. Nothing. She then looks to the right, making the camera pan. Sophie suddenly strides that direction, walking straight towards... JOSIE BAKER!~!~ Sophie slows her pace as she notices Josie leaning back, smoking a cigarette. SOPHIE ...Josie? -Josie smiles slightly through her cigarette. JOSIE Hey, darlin'...take a seat. -Sophie sits in a chair directly across from Josie. Sophie looks physically distrubed as Josie takes another drag off her cigarette. Josie slowly blows the smoke out of her nose as she stares off into space. An awkward silence fills the air. JOSIE ...So...Colin is back. SOPHIE I saw. JOSIE Aw...You're speaking English? SOPHIE I am practice. JOSIE That's great. -Another awkward silence fills the air. Josie clears her throat as Sophie motions for the door. SOPHIE Should I leave? JOSIE ...Do you have any idea, Sophie...the toll that a knee to the temple...followed almost IMMEDIATELY by a neckbreaker...can have on a person? Jereme has been hospitalized...with no signs of recovering anytime in the foreseeable future...Austin is MIA...and now Colin Maguire, Jr. has returned, laid out my champion and a legend, AND stolen the Intercontinental Championship belt. SOPHIE The situation is bad at best, ma'am. JOSIE (scoffs) Bad at best...This corporation is starting to get to me, Soph...So many people that I need to keep tabs on... -Josie take another large drag off of her cigarette. She holds the smoke in her lungs for an extra amount of time before slowly exhaling it. JOSIE Are you an angry woman, Sophie? SOPHIE About what? JOSIE Are you envious? Do you get envious? SOPHIE I don't think so. No. JOSIE I have a competition in me. I want no one else to succeed. I hate most people. SOPHIE That part of me is gone... le fonctionnement et ne réussissant pas- tous mes échecs me sont parti... I just don't... care. JOSIE Well, if it's in me, it's in you. There are times when I look at people and I see nothing worth liking. I want to earn enough money that I can get away from everyone. SOPHIE What will you do about our boy? JOSIE I don't know. Maybe it will change. Does your movement come back to you? I don't know. SOPHIE Where is Colin? JOSIE I don't want to talk about those things. I see the worst in people, Sophie. I don't need to look past seeing them to get all I need. I've built my hatreds up over the years, little by little, Sophie... to have you here gives me a second breath. -Josie takes a deep breath as she stares off into space. Sophie looks frightened out of her skin as Josie smiles wide suddenly. JOSIE I can't keep doing this on my own...with these...people. -Josie suddenly begins laughing as Sophie stares at her boss. The screen fades to black. COMMERCIAL

Returning from the break, the camera cuts backstage, and the crowd cheers as Bohemoth is seen going through his bags. He then hears a knock on the door, and turns, then his mood worsens as he sees Alfdogg walk into the room, facing him up. ALF You almost had me last night. BO Yeah. And you know, I would have had you, had you not grabbed those tights. You were done. ALF All's fair in love and war, big man. Remember that. BO I will. ALF But seriously, I'm not here to talk about last week, I'm not here to rub it in. I just want you to know something. You've been worthy competition for me and for the World title...and if I had to choose who to lose to last week, you would have been my choice. Because I know you would hold that belt with pride and with respect for your peers...something that PRL has not shown during his reign. *crowd boos* BO Well, I appreciate that. ALF I'm man enough to admit a true defeat. And at the Halloween Spectacular, Tha Puerto Rican was the better man. But, you know how PRL talked about us a couple weeks ago. You know how he's talked about me the last several weeks. No respect. But, I'm going off on another tangent, Bo, forgive me. The REAL reason I'm here...is that I'm sure you know, the Deadly Alliance is planning to add a fifth member. Bo nods. ALF And I know we haven't seen eye to eye lately, far from it...but I happen to see you as a prime candidate for that spot. The crowd boos, as Bo flashes an odd look at Alf. ALF Now, just listen to me. You know as well as anyone how Zack operates. Look at Leon...he has a World title shot at November Reign. Suppose he defeats Tha Puerto Rican, and becomes the OAOAST World champion. Zack could never contain his jealousy, and that would spell the end for your In-Crowd. You saw me talk to the guy last week. And you know what I've accomplished here in the OAOAST. Now, If Zack would talk down to me in that fashion...just imagine how he'd treat you in the long run. In the Deadly Alliance, we all treat each other as equals, and that's why we're all champions. So, I'm just letting you know, you have the opportunity to abandon ship before it sinks. Bo watches Alf walks off, while letting his words sink into his head. Back into the arena floor brings us to a ring that’s highlighted by dark blue and white lights. Inside this macabre illumination stands The Last Kings of Scotland, wearing leather jackets and blue and white kilts. Scottish Scott holds a microphone while Danny tries his best to look menacing in the background. COLE The Last Kings Of Scotland set for a handicap match against Tim Cash in a few moments. SCOTT Tim Cash, yer aff yer heid! Ya had a right stroke of good luck when ya beat us in Pureto Rico, but that’s just ‘cause Spencer went and left us high and dry. Listen to me well and good ya arse bandit, ya ain’t gonna get us twice! Now get yer arse out here ‘cause me ‘n Danny got a stompin’ ta lay on ya! Its Not My Time by rock superstars 3 Door’s Down brings its adult contemporary rock into the sold out arena. With it comes Tim Cash clad in white trunks and blue pads. He doesn’t stop to gloat or showboat on the entrance stage, instead trotting right down the ramp so he can shake hands with the good people of Milwaukee. One fan in particular gets an earnest discussion about the Brewers’ hopes for the 09 baseball season with the avid baseball fan and all around nice guy. COACH Look at that dude Cash is talking to. Those the kinds of herbs we let in our show? This premature baby lookin dude looks all types of fresh off the boat....the sandals, the white barbershop haircut, the peach fuzz, the gas station sun glasses, the $3.99 shady wear/makavelli/pure playaz/late 90's styled urban clothing, the bootleg football jersey, etc... these are pretty positive matches for a english as a 2nd lanaguage ass dude. He probably was born in some country where the US goverment sprayed agent orange and other types of wild poisons in the crops. I wouldn’t be suprised if dude got 12 testicles. COLE And now is as good a time as any to remind you that front row seats are available for our none televised events in Moline and Des Moines! Avoid humiliation on a national scale, see the OAOAST untelevised! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following handicap match is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of twenty minutes! Now making his way to the ring from Peroia, Illinois, he weighed in at two hundred twenty five pounds, he is wrestling’s last real good guy….TIM CAAAASSSHHHH!!! COLE I think we have to give Tim Cash a lot of respect for participating in this handicap match, not many people would take a match facing two top prospects. COACH Not many people are damn morons either. You are. Tim Cash is, obviously. I’m not. As is customary for the former EMT, Timmy C offers a handshake to his foes. Oddly enough, Danny Boy accepts the kind gesture. But its nothing but a ruse, as Scott comes from behind to hammer him in the back. His fist come down hard and heavy until he has Cash sufficiently weakened enough to try for an irish whip. However, the Peoria native reverses the hold and sends DB charging to the ropes. Danny gathers up his strength to leap forward with a lariat but Cash meets that gesture by merely back dropping him over to the canvas. Right as the native of Scotland lands, Cash offers him a helping hand back to his feet. Such an unusual gesture if first met with confusion, and then outrage as Danny swats away the hand of his foe. He quickly rolls to his feet, and attacks Cash with an elbow. But The Ultimate Good Guy swats it away, and helpfully informs him to try a forearm next time. The advice enrages Danny, but there’s little he can do it about as Cash knocks him to the canvas with a dropkick! COLE Just a short while ago it may have been Tim Cash on the losing side of a handicap match, but with his strict adherence to his moral code he’s doing well so far. COACH He’s doing well against rooks still learning the ropes. Let’s see homeboy do work against a team of Alfdogg and Sandman. Then I’ll be impressed. Back into the picture comes Scottish Scott, charging at full speed towards his rival. But Cash greets his encounter by grabbing onto his leg, lifting him into the air and dropping him neck first onto the ropes! The landing on the ring cables was completely on accident, however, as evidenced by Cash calling for his own DQ. COACH Disgustin’ I ain’t never seen nobody ask to lose. COLE You could argue Biff Atlas’ asks to lose everyday just by waking up in the morning. By the way Biff will be joining Vinny and Ken Pantera in losing to Los Diablos and Jumbo later on this evening. Cash continues his argument with the referee over his perceived illegal tactics to his detriment; a recovered Scott stuns him with an overhand smash to the back of his head. With Cash momentarily stunned by the move, Scott is able to bring him down to the canvas with a side Russian leg sweep. He then rolls back to his feet and plants Cash with another leg sweep. Finally he hooks the leg for a pinfall that’s counted by good ol Clem Buzzlefoxer… ONE! Cash kicks out we’ll before Clem’s poor arthritic hands could count two. Rather than get to his feet and fight, Cash decides to offer encouragement to Scott over almost getting a two. SS continues to be annoyed by the goody-goody act and he batters his opponent with stomps. Soon his partner joins him, and together they make mincemeat out of Cash’s back. “LET’S GO CASH! LET’S GO CASH!” chant a few of the children in the audience, who love Timmy’s good guy act. Sadly the cheers of the youth do little for Cash, as the Kings take turns pulverizing his arm with well placed knee drops. After he and Scott hit no less than eight knees onto Cash’s limb, Danny decides to break what ligaments remain with a lethal arm bar. Showing no signs of sportsmanship that his foe holds dear, Scott gets in his face and taunts him without mercy. He draws boos from several fans when his hand comes across Cash’s face in slap! COLE No need for that! Not to such a classy guy at least. COACH Nigga this ain’t equestiarian dressage! If it was there’d be horses and hot hoes in tight white pants with funny hats and riding crops. The armbar isn’t able to keep Cash held for long, and with considerable power he rips his way out the submission. Danny Boy is the first to fall victim to Cash’s might as the face to end all faces scrambles his brain with a Backbrain Wheelkick! COLE Did you hear the sound behind that kick? COACH Ain’t nothing classy ‘bout mild concussions, Tim. As Cash gathers himself off the mats, Scott builds up a head of steam on the ropes. Unfortunately his run carries him right into spinning lariat from the good guy! Scott flips and twirls before coming down directly on his face! Though he’s clearly our, his partner isn’t and stumbles upright. But, there’s no offense mounted by him as Cash throws him to the ground with a powerful spinebuster. The ring is still shaking from the impact as Cash hooks onto Scott’s leg and flips him over for the… COLE Midwest Sling! A quick tap out brings the ringing of the bell and 3 Doors Down’s smash hit back into the arena. Clem would love to raise Timmy’s hand, but Cash is more concerned with checking on the welfare of his beaten opponents than celebrating his victory. COLE A decisive victory here on HeldDOWN for The Ultimate Good Guy Tim Cash, and he did it with class. Not bad, Timmy, not bad. COACH Yes bad. Yes damn bad. How you gonna take seriously a dude who’s more sad over his opponent getting hurt than happy he won a match? You have to hurt someone to win a match. What are you gonna do pairs figure skate them into submission? Get me something to wash out the memory of this bum. COLE A guy like Tim Cash would be a great candidate for the Deadly Alliance! COACH LATERZ ON TONIGHTZ ONE AND ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM TITLEZ LEON RODEZ AND PRL VZ REJECT AND THUNDERKIDZ MAIN EVENTZ 2NIGHTZ COMMERCIAL

Are you ready for some helddooooooown? Its a friday night partaaaaaaaaaaaay!!! the stage is set so lets get it kickstarteeeeddd lmao fuck that song, tru story,b From Milwaukee home of one of the many reasons Mets fans will live another winter in misery and anguish. I didn't even kno they were shuttin shea down, tru story right there. Yankee stadium gets treated like heaven's gates are closing and no one got any props for ol shea. tru story. Postponed till Friday naturally cause HS just got up. I would suggest not taking the opening segment, but I don't really care, or even know why I suggest that, I'm just poppin off at jibs, b.

Theodore Moneymaker speaks on the state of politics both middle school and America school. SMH@me voting for Nader again. Damn it I thought for sure 08 was our year! Fuck is going on around here?

just to you know I edited in the IC title match

The Sunshine State meets ZZ Top’s legendary classic with a glut of disgusted jeers. The hatred isn’t for the bearded rockers, however, rather the smug superstar that has chosen it as his entrance music. Dressed to kill in pinstriped Armani slacks, and blue Kenneth Cole dress shirt, Christian Wright twirls himself beneath a single golden spotlight as green strobe lights flicker from the sides of the entrance stage. At his side, holding his trusted briefcase is one of the brains behind The Enterprise, Mackenzie DeCenzo. The Money Honey looks every bit as ravishing as her cohort, in a sparkling sequined gown with a sexy cutout back. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of twenty minutes. Making his way to the ring being accompanied by the “Money Honey” Mackenzie DeCenzo, from Washington DC he weighs 8 1/3 bars of gold he is The Natural Christian Wright! CW offers the audience another look at slacks they’ll never be able to afford as he runs his hands down their smooth sides. He and Mackenzie then have a small strategy session before they both bid each other farewell and Mackenzie makes her way to the announce table. COACH Mackenzie DeCenzo! Welcome, welcome! MACKENZIE Thank you. I’d like to say I’m happy to be here, but well…you know. COLE What gives, Coach? Are you planning on replacing me? With [i]her[/i]?! COACH Not now. COLE Yes now. Yes now! Yes everyday! Everyday until you tell me what I am to you. Am I one of your sluts? Parading out here all dolled up just so you can stomp on my emotions for the world to see. Go to hell, shitbag, and see if anyone there can make you cum like I did! MACKENZIE Is it too late to escape to the French announce table? I knew I’d live to regret throwing away that Rosetta Stone book. Someone has given CW a microphone! The audience is none too happy with that action and they blast them with their furnace hot hatred. WRIGHT How now, fair citizens! Fear thee not, for this evening’s festitivities shall not call upon my oratory skill to indulge in the cliché by cutting a promotional interview on all hallows eve. No my presence here begs a topic more nobler in truth than this day of costumed idiocy. On this televisual transmission I shall lay the gauntlet of war at the feet of the man who laid just such an object at mine. His squawks like that of one’s pet parrot were a gaiety of tepid interest, and yet met with mostly the spurned chortling of men his intellectual superior. Dare I be so brash with my words as to say Baron Windells’ was perhaps brash with his? Is it not without the righteous arm of poignant authority that I may offers this judgement? Mister Windells I see you not as the warrior you dare to classify yourself as. With baneful eye and unremorseful heart I find you nothing beyond a grunt. Your wonderment extends to the deepest recesses of what no doubt is a miniscule mind as to what use my esteemed comrades in The Enterprise for your minimal, if not non existent talents. Put blunty and without any attempts at kindness, you are needed as a heavy, a brute, muscle to exercise the rule of the brain. Here will you be given the ultimate test of whatever power you may yet hold. Bring yourself to me, Baron! [i]Make us poster boys for your scene But we are not making an acceptance speech I found the safest place to keep all our old mistakes Every dot com's refreshing for a journal update[/i] Fallout Boy’s power pop tracks is given stunning visual accompaniment by simmering flames that form the shape of a bull’s head on the entrance stage. Orange lazers flash and flare at a chao`tic insane pace. Into this fiery scene steps two hundred sixty five pounds of southwestern beefcake, Baron Windells! The Lonestar Gunslinger throws his hand up to loud cheers, the nosiest coming from the females in attendance. BUFFER And the opponent, from San Antonio, Texas, he weighs in at two hundred sixty seven pounds! He is a former One and Only World Tag Team Champion, ladies and gentlemen please welcome The Lonestar Gunslinger, BARON WIINDDEELLLSSSS! The Gunslinger tips his cowboy hat to the many fans cheering his name. Despite the support he receives from Miami, his expression is stoic and solemn. His entire focus is on the man who stares at him with a dismissive smirk, Christian Wright. COLE Mackenzie, The Enterprise seems to be recruiting Baron Windells, or at the very least you all have been scouting him for a while. I know stables are popular these days, and you’re all about recognition and prestigious institutions. But, you don’t need a big name or big things behind you to do big things. Jimi Hendrix did some great things in the army. MACKENZIE Jimi Hendrix also faked being a homosexual to get out of the army. COLE How’s your painting going? MACKENZIE Good. Thank you. Windells hoists up his now OAOAST-famous Stewie Griffin t-shirt to the approval of the audience, and the disdain of his foe. Wright finds the gesture so annoying that he rips the shirt out the hands of Windells. The booing crowd and the stunned Texan watch with disgust as CW throws the t-shirt to the ground. Angered, Baron stoops over to pick it up, but leaves himself wind open to an axe handle from The Natural. “BOOOOOOO!” “Let an intelligent man be not your bête noire! Let him be the governor to your aspirations of better conduct!” CW calls back, as he batters his rival with stomps targeted at his lower back. Once through with his stomping, Wright hauls BW off the canvas and delivers a pair of elbows to his now sore back. He then heaps on additional anguish by slamming Baron’s back against the mat with a side Russian leg sweep. MACKENZIE Baron probably has more potential than just a grunt. But, let’s be honest, he doesn’t have the mental makeup to reach that potential on his own. He needs the mind, the money, and the athletic facilities provided by our group to see himself to success. Otherwise he’s just another face in a big useless OAOAST crowd. Despite the pain in his lower back The Gunslinger battles back to his feet. But, that’s a small victory for him, as CW captures him inside an inverted facelock. Within seconds, The Natural lowers Baron down and smashes him into his outstretched knee. As Baron whimpers with distress, Wright arrogantly discards him to the canvas. His foe debilitated for the moment, CW retrieves the Stewvie Griffin t-shirt and clads himself within it. ‘BOOOOOOO!” MACKENZIE I agree, Miami, Family Guy is severely droll and juvenile waste of animation and airspace compared to the classics of yesteryear such as Tiny Toon Adventures. There was a dodo bird in that one, Cole. Does Family Guy have a dodo bird? COLE We've got a couple at sofa central. Baron is understandly outraged by Wright’s disrespect, and hops upright to make him pay for his shenanigans. But The Natural meets his ascension by tightening him into a sideheadlock. He smiles out to a disapproving audience, but taking his eye off his opponent, gives BW the chance to shove him into the ropes. As he makes his return he slides through the open gap between BW’s legs. The Gunslinger struggles to turn around in time to get a read on him, and that yields awful results; Wright wraps his arms around his waists and lifts him into the air before driving him onto his back with a back suplex. As Baron grits his teeth to suppress the quickly rising pain, The Natural takes off to the ropes aiming for a body splash onto his foe’s injured body part. But as he returns, Baron rolls towards him in an effort to trip him up. However, Wright evades the tactic by leaping over his rival’s outstretched body. He bounces off the second ropes again coming into contact with Windells’ defense; Baron raises his legs and flips him over onto the canavs! The fans delight in Wright’s misery and Windell’s effort to pump them up with a raised arm. COACH I ain’t trynna dis on Mister Moneymaker’s steez or nothing, but I ain’t seen one good thing outta Baron since Mister Dick went Ike on his Tina Turner ass. This dude’s like a ho in a Lifetime movie. We gonna see him out in the middle of a flower field singing “Its not right but its okay” by Whitney Houston. This dude has more pussy in em then a Designing Women marathon. Ol Delta Burke ass nigga. Meanwhile in the ring, CW scrambles towards the corner to be away from the resurgent Gunslinger. But there’s no escaping Baron’s power as the hunky Texan pulverizes him with a running lariat. Clutching onto his sore chest, Wright staggers outside of the corner and begs the referee to grant him the timeout. While Charles Robinson attempts to explain there’s no timeouts in wrestling, Baron builds up a head of steam on the ropes. When he reaches his mouthy adversary he silences him with a diving shoulder block! Windells kips right back up and roars into the Miami night! “YEAAAAAAA!” COLE Baron feeling his oats! MACKENZIE Baron feeling the shame, the awful shame, of being a twenty eight year old man thrown into rage by a Stewie Griffin shirt. What’s next Mister Windells, homocide because someone cracked your Futurama DVD? Come to The Enterprise and please learn a better way. Wright is back on his feet, but is under a wave of punches from Windells. To stop the embarrassing drubbing, he shoves The Gunslinger away. Having pushed Baron off balance, CW decides its best not to push further luck and instead looks for the nearest exit. He gets his body halfway through the ropes, before his foe decides he’s not going to escape this time. BW takes a hold of Wright’s high fashion slacks, and hauls the screaming and hollering grappler back into the squared circle. CW cries are muffled into silence as Baron’s powerful arms clamp down on him with a front facelock. He then lifts his left leg onto Wright’s arm in order to prevent The Natural from fighting back. As CW is firmly locked into place, BW dives backwards and spikes his head against the rock solid canvas. The fans heartily applaud the scissor DDT, as BW beats his chest in triumph. He then brings CW off the mat, attaching him into another front facelock. His hands grab a hold of his slacks and he lifts the Natural high into the air for a vertical suplex. The audience cheers the impressive strength of the San Antonio native as he holds Wright suspended in the air. The cheers degenerate into annoyed groans, quickly though, as CW succeeds in expertly maneuvering his way out of Baron’s clutches. Without giving his opponent time to react, The Natural puts his head beneath Baron’s arm and raises him upright. A mere moment later he brings him down across his knee for a belly to back backbreaker! Baron falls over onto the canvas, hands finding his sore back. “WRIGHT SUCKS! WRIGHT SUCKS! WRIGHT SUCKS!” MACKENZIE Is Jeremiah Wright, Obama’s anti America, anti white, anti freedom, closest socialist friend here? Because they certainly couldn’t be talking about Mister Christian Wright! Wright finally removes the Stewie Griffin t-shirt and decides to be a gentleman and hand it back to its owner. Unfortunately his idea of being a gentlemen involves laying the shirt on Windell’s face and rubbing it in with his Hugo Boss slip ons! “Come on, Christian, knock it off.” Robinson chides him as the audience does so in their vulgar way. Amazingly Wright ceases his deplorable act, doing so only to lift BW off the canvas. He snakes his arms across Baron’s waist in an inverted waistlock. Unwilling to be the victim of anyone of CW’s high impact holds. Windells uses his overpowering strength to sweep behind him and capture him with an inverted waistlock of his own. But, BW has just as much success as CW; which is to say none, as Wright whips around to regain his waistlock. Leaving no moment for BW to reverse the hold once more, The Natural throws him overhead with a release German Suplex! “BOOOO!” hisses the audience after Baron’s lands neck first against the mat. COACH Check out the way Baron’s neck hit that mat! Wright stay jacking up these strawberry shortcake niggas. MACKENZIE Coach, I was wrong about the things I said about you. Have a candy bar. COACH What things have you said about me? MACKENZIE Never mind that, just enjoy the candy bar. Baron very slowly begins trying to lift himself off the mat. His pace is much too lethargic for CW, however, and The Natural rips him off the ring ropes by his hair. He traps both of Baron’s muscular arms in a double underhook and throws a pair of knees to his midsection to prevent any sort of escape. Baron still tries to win his freedom, but Wright will have none of that and yanks him off the mat. The crowd boos once again when the cowboy is struck with the Nightmare on Wallstreet (Canadian Backbreaker) MACKENZIE And this match is just about finished. Seeking to prove Mackie correct, Wright hooks his foe’s leg for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! A kickout by Windells causes Wright to spew one of his usual verbose diatribes at the referee. While continuing to argue with Robinson, The Natural lifts the groggy Windells back off the canvas. He tags him with two quick European uppercuts before shoving him back first into the turnbuckles. Baron grimaces from the pain that’s taken home in his back and stumbles forward, unaware that Wright is salivating over his arrival. Once he reaches his near drooling partner he’s taken for a lethal ride by the famous Wright Off (Sky High)! Baron is brought down into the mat with a booming thud that leaves the ring shaking. MACKENZIE This one is over. I said that before, but I mean it more this time than I did then. Robinson drops down to score the signature move’s ensuing pinfall… ONE! TWO! Once more, Baron’s shoulder finds its way off the canavs. This time Wright ignores any qualms with the referee and instead directs his focus to the turnbuckles. He quickly scampers up them, but his fast movement is delayed by his need to further aggravate an already displeased audience. “Behold! He who both wields power and desires to use it is a puissance not wisely reckoned with!” COACH Hehheh My man said puss- MACKENZIE No he didn’t. Give me back my candy bar. The master of puissance goes flying from the turnbuckle with graceful agility marking his frog splash. Sadly his landing is less than pretty as The Gunslinger slides his chiseled frame out the way! Wright crashes into the floor and the fans are as happy as a lark. COLE Nobody home for the frog splash! Wright is up with unusual quickness given his ordeal, but his movement is staggered and dizzy. This is perfect for Baron who charges him with a lariat! But Wright has enough wits to duck bellow him, and avoid the Myspace Comeback by hooking onto him with a side headlock. Wasting little time, he rushes towards the corner planning a bulldog. But, the planning stage is as far as that move gets; Baron shoves him crotch first into the ringposts. The fans are as delighted as one can expect, screaming over Wright’s hoarse shrieks. MACKENZIE That’s like dumping acid onto his soul. I can’t watch the horror! Wright succeeds in pulling himself free of his ball busting predicament, but his strength is all but sapped and he’s forced to recline against the turnbuckle post to recover it. This is a near impossible task due to Baron climbing the top rope to hammer him with the tried and true turnbuckle punches! “ONE!” “TWO!” “THREE!” “FOUR!” “FIVE!” “SIX!” “SEVEN!” “EIGHT!” “NINE!” “TEN!” Baron dismounts Wright, and admires his handiwork of a near weeping opponent, mumbling futile pleas for mercy or at least his coveted timeout. Sadly the only thing that’s given to him is a taste of Baron’s shiny metal ass! Just seconds after Wright hits the mat from the BUTT bump, his energetic adversary orders him back up. CW stands, but does so only to try and make his latest retreat. With no intention of letting Wright weasel his way out of this match, BW floors him with a big boot! COLE Baron is cooking! Snarling with a ferocious intensity, Baron drags his wounded adversary off the canvas and tightens him into front facelock. He calls out for the Brigham Young Cocktail (leaping DDT) and sends the audience into a delirious fit. CW himself is delirious with panic and holds onto the ropes, in hopes of preventing the finisher. But this does nothing to assist him as Baron hauls him away. Desperate to avoid certain doom CW drills Baron between the legs with a forearm! COLE That’s despicable! He hit him with a low blow. MACKENZIE I’m sorry I didn’t know it was Christian’s fault god put genitals between’s Baron’s leg Baron immediately releases his grip on CW, wrought with anguish over the illegal tactic. Ignoring a chastisement from the referee, The Natural immediately pounces on his rival with a front facelock. He lifts him up and then brings him right down with the Stockmarket Crash! The audience boos the appearance of the finisher, and not just because it reminds them of their financial woes! With Windells out from the deadly hold, Wright covers him for a pivotal fall.. ONE! TWO! THREE! *DING DING DING* Sharp Dressed man comes back to the arena as Wright leaps up and celebrates his victory by climbing to the top rope and inviting a booing audience to worship their intellectual and moral superior. BUFFER The winner of this contest as a result of pinfall…CHRISTIAN WRIGHT! Mackenzie joins CW in the ring, offering him heaps of praise and enthusiastic applause while he continues his completely overboard celebration. COACH Maybe Baron considers joining The Enterprise now. That is if they even still offer him a spot after he choked. Dude asked for a fight and he took a loss. I wouldn’t let that kinda cat on my team, ain’t no way no how. COLE Took a loss? He was cheated! He asked for a fight and Christian Wright ripped him off.

[size="6"][font="Arial Black"][color="#FF0000"]~MIDDLE[/color] [color="#00FFFF"]SCHOOL 1[/color] [color="#00FF00"]MUSICAL~[/color][/font][/size] Directed by Molly Nerdly [b]STARRING[/b] [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/faceal.jpg] [b]Alix Maria Spezia[/b] [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/maya2.jpg] [b]Maya Duncan Blanchard[/b] [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/julianne-hough_NET-dancingwiththest.jpg] [b]Molly Nerdly[/b] The Duncan household which has hosted a 24/7 title match, a short action film, and countless other odd events on OAOAST television now sees Alix, clad in a red and black striped polo shirt and black Capri pants, hunting through a medicine cabinet. She’s overjoyed to find some Chewable vitamin tablets. ALIX Hey this one has Fred Flintsone on it! Alix...(singing in Flintone's theme) Alix Spezia she's the modern cyber age pill popping fiend. From the town of LA, she's risking getting booked for a felony. Alix adds The Flintstones vitamins to her keep pile and goes back to her search, this time coming up with a gummy vitamin tablet. ALIX Holy wow! These are gummies! (singing in Flintone's theme) Gummies...gummies gummies I don't have a clever song for you. From this plastic bottle I hope I don't risk an OD! Alix’s committing of a federal offense is interrupted by Maya, appearing in her soccer uniform having just got home from practice. MAYA Hey, Alix? ALIX Woah! Are you DEA? MAYA Couldn't see over the steering wheel in the swat van. ALIX FDA? MAYA My addiction to those very same gummy vitamins ruined my career and destroyed my family. ALIX Daughters of the revolution? MOLLY Will we be doing this routine everytime you're caught snooping thorough someone's medicine cabinet and Jodie Foster's underwear drawer? ALIX Maybe? I dunno. Yes? MAYA Could you just pass me some Tums. I need 'em for an upset stomach. ALIX Silly Maya! Your stomach can't get upset. Its a stomach it has no feelings! Watch! Stomach, you're stupid and you suck and your favorite bands and TV shows are indicative of your stupidity and sucking. See? Not upset, not one bitty bit! MAYA When you wake up with a monster gut and your belly button looks like a BUTT, you'll know who to blame! I'm kind of depressed right now, Alix. Concerned, Alix slams the medicine cabinet shut and quickly walks towards Maya. ALIX What's wrong, honey bunches of oats? MAYA Its this stupid class election. The polls say I'm ahead, and all my friends told me not to worry. I've got the jocks, the skaters, the nerds, and the preps backing me. But, I'm still worried. I wanna be class president so I can make a difference in my school's community...and I wanna impress Austin Bradley. ALIX Gah! You're doing it to impress a boy? A miniaturized version of the oppressor? Crud, crud, crud! If your mom finds out that I found out, you're gonna enjoy the super cool sight of watching one grown woman attempt to flush another down a toilet. MAYA I'm only doing some of it to impress Austin. But, you just haven't seen him yet! He looks just like Chuck from Gossip Girl. He's really cool to. He's such a rebel. In 5th grade he once at thirty eggs in one sitting! ALIX So what? My dad once ate sixty chickens in one sitting. And they were alive! Maya gazes up to the heavens, as if Austin was to take the form of an angel and whisk her away to Limited Too. MAYA And when Austin smiles...Alix, you just don't know! ALIX Not hearing this! Not hearing this! Lolly lolly la-la-la-la-la-la, not hearing this! Maya, you don't need a man in your life to feel a good about yourself. A rich, beautiful blond chick is more than good enough. Anypoochie, you know you're gonna win. You're the most popular chick in the whole school. Your Mom's on TV, you sister's on TV, sometimes you're on TV, and ya know what being on TV means? It means you're better than normal people. MOLLY I don't claim to be the expert of 8th grade politics that Alix is, but I highly doubt you of all people have anything to worry about. MAYA Maybe not. But these dumb political attack ads are driving me crazy. Who's ever heard of running a political attack ad for an 8th grade election? I've never even met this Theodore Moneymaker guy, and he's talking all this junk about me like we're worst enemies. And JC, who takes ten minutes to form a compete sentence, is throwing around words like calling me a socialist. He doesn't even know what a socialist is. I guarantee because he looked off my paper on our social studies quiz that asked "What's a socialist" ALIX Maya, I know its tough. But hang in there. It'll be all over Tuesday, and we can celebrate with ice cream and maxing out your mom's credit cards. MAYA I just get the feeling its gonna get worse. And, maybe this guy is right. Maybe, I'm not qualified. Maybe I am stupid. ALIX Whatever! You're my favorite person in the world! It used to be Patrick from Sponge Bob, but then I found out he's a cartoon! And a starfish! And a libertarian! Talk about throwing the vote away. Why dontcha vote for a chimpanzee! Man, that'd make a great movie. Mister Chimp goes to Washington. (singing in Flintone's theme) Mister...Mister Chimp you're about to go to Washington, from the monkey cages I hope you won't throw your poop at me. MAYA Yeah that's great, but can we talk about some important things. I.e. me! ALIX Awwww Maya-Pieya, don't worry like that, ya know. Cause guess what, girlie girl, one day you're gonna be this really rich and successful whatever it is ya wanna be when ya grow up and you'll be livin in some killer penthouse in New York with gargoyles on the roof, real gargoyles so they can douse your foes in flames before they bribe the doorman to let em in, and all these dudes at school will be on the streets homless, and you'll pass by and you'll say "Hey, dude from school, you look like you're doing great." "Uh, no, I'm homless." "Oh yeah!" And then you can say "Hey your pillow looks like some magazines I tossed out." "Its probably is, I rummage through the dumpsters around here." MAYA That would be kind of cool. But I don't wanna wait six to ten more years for the chance that maybe they'll be on the street corner near my regular coffee shop. I can't wait, honestly. The election is in a few weeks, and I'm really worried I might lose! I don't wanna disappoint mom. When she was in kindergarden she drafted a constitutional amendment to make Candyland the fifty first state. ALIX Darn that Gloppy the Molasses Monster for selling her out for special interest groups. MAYA I want this election more than anything, and I don't want Theodore whoever ruining it and then making me look stupid. That stuff he says really hurts my feelings. But, I wish there was something I could do to get my message out better. ALIX Oh wow! Do you feel that little tingle on your left shoulder. MAYA No, not really. ALIX Awesome you don't have skin cancer! But guess who does have cancer? The JC Pennington campaign, and guess who's the...I don't really know where this going, but wow do I have a really really awesome idea! Follow me! Alix whisks Maya out the bathroom, and we cut directly to the enormous circular front driveway where a rusted, disgusting Geo Metro sits in total contrast to the luxury home and well-manicured lawn. Making it even more of an eyesore is a gigantic megaphone on the roof, and giant S painted on the hood for Swag. Alix beams proudly at what most would consider to be an abomination against the automobile industry. Maya tries to feign appreciation, but understandably fails in such an action. MAYA Wow when did the chariot of the damned get in the driveway and how many zombies did they fit in it? ALIX It’s a Geo Metro, hey-yo! Yeah, traded the Jag for it. MOLLY My word! You couldn’t have! ALIX Couldn’t I…have? I so fleeced this dude. This car has no speedometer, so ya know what that means? Can’t ever go over the speed limit! Just another awesome idea from the same girl that brought you closing your eyes while your driving to avoid ever having to stop at traffic lights. MOLLY Alix, I haven’t a clue as what to say. But I imagine if I did it would be some combination of the words you’re, an, and idiot. Alix playfully pretends to swat Molly up the head for her comment. ALIX Lay off, Mol! You act like I gave black people the right to vote! MAYA Is Mom cool with this? ALIX Ugh, Maya! If my ancestor’s had waited for your mom’s permission before they killed sixteen border agents and snuck into this country I wouldn’t be here sharing this beautiful moment with you. MAYA You’re so right. I’m sorry. Why do I doubt you? ALIX Oh my god, awesome idea part gazillion! You wanna drive? MAYA Does Jade sleep with a lifesize Bohemoth cardboard standup and shower with it only to continually and hilariously be shocked at it crumbling beneath a steady blast of water, and then run into my room and scream “Maya, look! My world is over!”? ALIX She sure does! Uno momento, how old are you? MAYA Twenty nine. ALIX Hop on in, Speed Racer! Before Alix can realize the newest crime she’s about to commit, Maya tries to jimmy open the door. After a quick struggle she manages to do just that, and unfortunately quite a bit more as she yanks the door totally off. This, however, is the least of the worries in Molly’s mind. MOLLY When the art student is the most clear thinking and responsible adult, we’re bound to have a myriad of problems, least of all that she’s only 13! ALIX (to Maya) Hop on out, Speed Fibber! Quick Liar! Fast truth exaggerator! MAYA (to Molly as she gets out the car) Thanks a lot, BUTT breath. MOLLY How rude! ALIX No kidding, that wasn’t very presidential like. MAYA Sorry. Thank you, booger breath. ALIX Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the newest leader of the ninth grade model UN! MAYA Those guys are losers! MOLLY Terribly inaccurate! I was ambassador to Papa New Guinea in model UN, and I do not consider myself a loser of any sort. MAYA Well you still have BUTT breath. BUTT breath. While Molly and Maya trade catty looks over the loser status of the Model UN, everybody files into what’s barely above covered wagon on the desirable transportation modes ranking. Maya grabs shotgun, leaving Molly and the Siclopse to squeeze into a back seat that’s stained from smoke, dust, and various liquid spills. MAYA So, what’s the plan? ALIX Look lemme tell ya something about teenagers, because Ally used to be one, and sometimes I dress like one to get older men to hit on me and boost my self-esteem. Teenagers love to set homeless dudes on fire. Teenagers also love combining vocal or instrumental sounds (or both) to produce beauty of form, harmony, and expression of emotion. AKA Music, baaaaaaaby! Rock n roll, motha truckaaaaaaaaa! Yeah! Sooooo, Ally Cat with the help of Hayley Williams of Paramore… [img=http://www.short-hair-style.com/images/hayley-williams-hairstyle-23997.jpg] Miss Williams is chilling in the disaster area known as the backseat. HAYLEY Hi, Maya! MAYA What’s up? ALIX (CONT.) Has totally created the official Maya Duncan-Blanchard 08 theme song! In the backseat, Molly groans. MAYA Who’s the dude? ALIX What the donkey? What dude? MAYA The dude tied up and gagged. [img=http://www.learnamericanenglishonline.com/images/man%20tied%20up%200021.jpg] ALIX Ohhhhh that dude. That's just Terry Taylor. MAYA Hi, Uncle Terry! Why are you bound and gagged? ALIX My dad ordered hit from jail, or whatever, on a dude named Jesus Ramierz. And so like I didn't get him any thing for daddy's day, so this is my way of saying sworry, papa! But, like I couldn't find Jesus, so I just used Terry. You don't mind if we look for a secluded alley to dump him in? MAYA I don't care as long you get me back in time for the "Say Yes To The Dress" rerun. ALIX Hayley? HAYLEY Sounds like fun! MOLLY May I at least go on record as being the only one to state to how monumentally stupid this idea just may be? ALIX Molly, I’m gonna take you to a very special place called the ledge. The Know Ledge. Denying a young Jewish girl’s dreams is a lot like denying the holocaust ever happened, and then making a movie about a Scottish warrior leading his brave overmatched army against the oppressive English, monarchy. This town already has one Mel Gibson, we don’t need another! MOLLY Maya, you must think what your mother would say! ALIX I know what my mommy would say “Alix, why are you over thirty, childless, and still single?” HAYLEY Is that my cue? That’s my cue isn’t it? Hayley reaches over Molly and presses play on the tape deck. That sends the beat to this classic American hit booming out the megaphone! [video] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4uxIo4t7xM[/video] The Geo Metro and its air polluting, safety inspection failing ways, lumbers out the driveway and into the million dollar streets of Beverly Hills. From its exhaust comes a wealth of blue smoke that certainly can’t be healthy for global warming. Through a microphone that seems to have been jacked from a police cruiser, Alix sings to the neighborhood. ALIX (singing) Maya! If the 4th graders keep peeing in the swimming pool, who ya gonna vote for? Maya! If they leave something weird and its stinky and brown who ya gonna vote for? Maya! If you think there’s a kid bringing weed to school Who can you call? Alix! With the vocals on hold, Alix can bust out her Dancing With the Stars worthy moves, throwing herself fully into the running man. Problematically, this requires her to take both hands off the wheel and causes her feet to bounce on the acceleration, which would lead them to crash into passing traffic if Hayley wasn’t reaching over and taking hold of the wheel. Maya’s is just about ready to sink down into already incredibly low half broken seat out of embarrassment with Alix’s soulful wailings, until she notices Austin Bradley and several of his friends skateboarding down the street. Sinking low, simply won’t be enough to prevent the hell she’ll feel if she’s seen, thus she goes as far as to try and stuff herself beneath the glove compartment. But, Alix reaches a stop sign, and being the good driver that she is comes to a complete stop. This gives Austin and his crew just enough time to catch up to the car. AUSTIN Hey, Maya! I thought that might be you. What’s up, I thought you guys drove a Jag? MAYA Uh, well, you know what they say. A Geo Metro comes straight off the assembly line of Heaven. AUSTIN That’s real high level. I gotta get there sometime. I love your song by the way. Very creative you got killer songwriting skills. Smiling sheepishly, Maya nods thank you as she notices Austin’s friends eagerly offering their agreement and thumbs up. AUSTIN We’re all voting for you. Dallas over here he says’s he gonna hack into JC’s phone and every time he tries to make a call he’s gonna hear this song. DALLAS Its awesome, Miss Spezia. ALIX Don’t call me Miss Spezia it reminds me of my mother, and she’s a disgusting whore. KIDS :o ALIX Vote for Maya! Alix speeds away with Maya too wrapped up in making wedding plans for her ever to even get embarrassed by Alix’s commentary on her mother as well her return to parodying songs of the 80’s. Beck beats a drum beat out on the window as Alix ratchets up the octaves even higher. From the posh million dollar homes, people empty out wondering what this musical racket is all about. Amazingly they aren’t totally horrified by the song, rather they seem a bit entertained by the oddball shenanigans! ALIX (singing) I ain't voting for no republican! I ain't voting for no republican! If you seein roaches humping the cafeteria bread, who can you vote for? Maya! If there’s mean stuff on your Myspace that’s getting said oh who ya gonna vote for? Maya! I ain't voting for no republican! I ain't voting for no republican! Who ya gonna vote for? Maya! If you wanna partay on Jerry Buss’ boat...just vote for Maya! HAYLEY I ain't voting for no republican! ALIX I hear they don’t watch Idol! HAYLEY I ain't voting for no republican! MAYA Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! ALIX Who you gonna vote for? Maya! Mm…if you wanna dose of the coolest chick on the west coast, baby You better vote! Maya! HAYLEY Voting makes me feel good! ALIX I ain't voting for no republican! Another stop sign brings a halt to the clunking movement of the Geo Metro, but not to Alix’s loud passionate gospel. What does call an end to her singing is when the car is accosted by a bum who with his dirty and savage apperance looks something akin to grizzly Adams. He pounds on the roof in manic crazed fit, almost like Godzilla attempting to bowl over a building in Tokyo. This outrageous individual suitably disturbs the rest of the car, but Alix ignores the smell of dumpsters and crack pipes to lean in for a closer inspection. Suddenly her eyes brighten at the thought that maybe she knows this creature of the streets. ALIX Oh my god! Johnny Jax! Whoa! Friggin awesome! Dude, wow, its like so good to see you! JOHNNY Alix, please, can you spare any change for an old friend? ALIX Eww, no. JOHNNY Please. I have aids. ALIX I have mega aids. Mega aids>regular aids, and Alix zooms away down the street, leaving the transient with hands in tears. Her catchy song and unusual vehicle have earned her quite the audience as children and teenagers now follow her as though the Geo Metro were a mechanical pied piper. Together they dance in joy and song, delighting in the whimsical music. ALIX (singing) Don't get caught voting for Pennington…oh no! When it comes time to vote unless you wanna get kicked in the throat I think you better vote Maya! Ooh... who you gonna vote for? Maya! Who you gonna for? Maya! Ah, I think you better vote for Maya! Everyone out the car! Its time to drop it like its hot! Without any concern to Terry Taylor gagged inside the car, the troupe decides to join their revelers for an impromptu parade next to the slow moving vehicle. Leading the celebrating audience they perform [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvkKX035484#t=3m26s"]this classic dance[/url] ALIX I can't hear you… CROWD Maya! ALIX Who you gonna vote for? CROWD Maya! HAYLEY Louder! CROWD Maya! HAYLEY Who you gonna vote for? CROWD Maya! ALIX Who ya gonna vote for? [color="#808080"][b][size="4"]CRAAAAAASH![/size][/b][/color] No, crash bandicoot is not a candidate in the election; crash is precisely what the once smooth sailing operator-less car does upon reaching a rather sharp curve. The Siclopse shows the only saving grace of the destruction of the Metro, that it collided with a palm tree and not an actual car or person. The gathered crowd is of course in dismay over an abrupt and violent ending to the wonderful sing a long, and Alix looks on in bemused shock. AUSTIN Aw man, Maya your car! Are you okay? MAYA Marry me. ALIX Who woulda thought that would happen? MOLLY Yes. Who would’ve thought that could that happen in a city with an elevation of 330 feet. Who would’ve tought that would happen on a stretch of road known as dead man’s curve. Who indeed. ALIX BUTT breath. [size="6"][font="Arial Black"][color="#FF0000"]~MIDDLE[/color] [color="#00FFFF"]SCHOOL 1[/color] [color="#00FF00"]MUSICAL~[/color][/font][/size] [b] Alix Maria Spezia...as herself Molly Nerdly...as her herself Maya Duncan-Blanchard...as herself Hayley Williams...as her herself Terry Taylor...recovering in hospital[/b]

Ah-ha! There have actually been several casket matches. And two of them were flaming caskets, both with Popick one against AP and the other against Zack, those two were before most of our times but Alf, Tony and Zack(obv) were here for it. And Axel had a normal non skin melting casket match as well. BARON WINDELLS Vs CHRISTIAN WRIGHT-might be late due to bouts of extreme Fallout 3 Also in honor of High School Musical 3, Molly Nerdly presents Middle School Musical 1!

Ay yo first off b I have some words, welcome back second off b after you left PFL continued the feud with sly with a war games match at GAB, followed by another match at the Big Apple Spectacular, there was supposed to be a match at AS but PFL up and disappeared and I guess that was the end of that. So right now nobody is using him or anything.

Fuck a feedback and fuck pregnant broads In The Club........I went out last night, and these pregnant bitches just kept comming in back-to-back. I couldnt even dance with my girls cuz a pregnant b1tch was just standing, not dancing but STANDING on the floor next to us. I kept getting nervous that I was gonna elbow her in her stomach. If you pregnant and look like you about to pop anyday now, why da fuck you in the club messing up everyone else's fun????

SR Vs Doctor Max Anderson: Tony shocked me by doing this one! As I told him in the PM, marvelous job in putting Spencer over. This match accomplished its task perfectly. I always wondered how much OAOAST development contracts are. Or which wrestlers have even come out of OAOAST development. I know D*LUX did, and so did O'Hara. Did Leon? That was a cute lil bit with Landon! There weren't as many political jokes as I thought we'd have tonight. We hustlin backwards. SMH. LAWL@OAOAST Fantasy. Is that actually a real concept? Is there a WWE Fantasy? What if you got like stuck with Funaki, Scotty 2 Hotty, Test and Hardcore Holly as your team? OAOAST Fantasy'd be a pretty risky game to play. One month you think you got a world title contender and then you don't see his ass again for 3 months. Yay to Maggie's return cuz I like Maggie. Josie must have insane blood pressure, someone is always fucking up her day. This time its her own cousin. We got some intrigue in this one and a title match for HS. Ya can't complain about that, no sir. The Deadly Alliance continues their string of funny promos. Good chemistry in this group in their segments. Josh got used in every interview segment. How we riding this dudes dick like that?? what part the game is that?? Damn The Blonds sonned they own selves! You actually have to feel bad for those dudes, lady luck ain't been a friend lately. This was the ultimate insult, 'cause The Blonds hate The Rockers dating back to the Jim Cornette days. As I told 149, this was high quality work he put in. Damn high quality. Ya know Vitamin X really does a lot for the Brickston character as a manager. That's a good pairing right there. Beautiful, brilliant, and incredibly arousing Mister Dick promo. I'm not joking about the arousing part, I was turned on. MD lives up to his name in this one. He and Reject may be the biggest pricks in the OAOAST. The Mister Dick character has really come together to be something excellent. A lot more so than I thought when I randomly suggested nicknaming Jock Mister Dick way back when. I will remember Alf's "match" when I come up with the most entertaining segment nominees for the Angle Awards! There's a lot to chose from this year. Last year I had to go back to the start of the year and use Melody's quick introduction to the gunslingers that I wrote. Da boy KC keeps on puttin' in DAT WORK. Dude was nice with it on this Holy Trinity segment. Just captured the horror of seeing your mom in a cheerleader outfit and your mom's indignation that you would somehow be horrified. We also saw some of jade's insecurities clashing with Krista's hollywood mentality. Good and funny segment. didnt get a chance to red the prl interview 'cause I wrote this well before it was edited in. The L's just keep on coming for the BHB's They losin harder than Maurice Clarett. I had my money on Reject and if it was real money I'd have been one dumb dude to bet it because that would've meant Reject was doubled booked and that wasn't happening. Realizing that, Black was still a bit of a surprise. I mean a huge surprise, because if I had thought he was co-winning I wouldn't have jobbed him to Baron on Syndicated. Ummm....oops! I imagine if this was real life thousands of internet dudes would be up in arms over a possible number one contender doing jobs on the opening match on Syndicated. I really liked that SO enziguri combo with Leon and Zack. The whole thing was an enjoyable very read, and the block concept was pretty unique.

COLE And it's now time for our main-event... COACH Already? Man. Remind me to TiVo Syndicated this week. COLE ...here on HeldDOWN~!, featuring no less than 15 of the OAOAST's finest in a battle to take one step closer to OAOAST World Championship gold. Members of The In Crowd, The Enterprise, The Deadly Alliance and Cucaracha Internacional did battle on a wild and crazy HeldDOWN~! last week in San Juan as the war of the words over who the most dominant group in the OAOAST really is finally and inevitably spilled over into violence! COLE After that chaotic scene, Josie Baker acted and made this astronomical battle royal, with the added incentive that the last two men standing tonight will go on to our Halloween Spectacular next week in Miami, competing one on one to determine who faces the World Heavyweight Champion at November Reign! A match graphic pops up, with two black sillohuette figures, hyping the #1 Contendership Match between '???' and '???'. An in no way totally unneccessary visual aid! COLE Now, the way this match is laid out isn't your typical battle royal. One man from each group will start the match, with eliminations to occur when someone is thrown over the top rope and both feet touch the floor. But at each interval, another member of each stable will enter. Which is a big disadvantage for The In Crowd considering they only have Leon and Zack in this thing. But a huge advantage for The Enterprise with six entrants, which means whoever are in Blocks 4 and 5 will be coming in alone and fresh. A huge advantage for The Enterprise, there's a surprise. COACH What are you implying? COLE I'm not implying anything. Why, guilty conscience? COACH Not a bit of it. You can't put this down to Enterprise bias. They're at a 9-6 disadvantage! No bias! And Josie threw everyone into this thing, even Leon Rodez, the one responsible for the entire brawl, so you can't say she's bias. COLE I wouldn't dream of it. Let's go up to Michael Buffer. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is your special Stables Battle Royal! The rules are as follows. One man from each of the four represented groups will begin the match. Then, at evenly timed three minute intervals there-after, each group will enter one more member. This process will continue until all groups are fully represented and until all 15 men have entered. Eliminations occur when a competitor is thrown over the top and onto the floor. The match continues until two men remain, with those two to go on to the Halloween Spectacular to compete for the number one contendership for the Heavyweight Championship of the world! Are you ready!? "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER Washington D.C... ARE... YOU... RRRRRREEEEEEEEAADDYYYYY!?!? "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER Then... for the thousands in attendance here in our nation's capital... and for those watching around the world, ladies and gentlemen... llllllLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRREAADDYYYYY TO RRRRRUUUMMMBBBLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! "If you are what you say you are A superstar Then have no fear The camera's here And the microphones and they wanna know Oh oh oh yeah" The red carpet is rolled out as "Superstar" by Lupe Fiasco plays. And first to appear, not looking in the best of moods, is Ned Blanchard. The sullen Handsome Hustler throws his arms up over his head in a defiant signal to the boos of the crowd but certainly not the usual contempt he'd show for them were in his usual fine form. BUFFER Introducing first, Enterprise representative number one! Hailing from Beverly Hills, California... he weighs two hundred, thirty five pounds. One half of the walk of fame worthy Beverly Hills Blonds... "THE HANDSOME HUSTLER"... NNEEEEEEEEEDD... BBLLLLLAAAAAAANNCCCCCHHHHHAAAAAARRRRRRRDD!!!" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Ned enters the ring and instantly hits a corner, leaning in the turnbuckles with narrow eyes aimed at the crowd. COLE Boy, Ned continuing to draw the short straws. Entering first of six for the Enterprise tonight, this after what we heard earlier that The Heavenly Rockers will be representing The Enterprise in the Fatal 4-Way for the Tag Team Titles next week in Miami. In, what was, a surprise decision. COACH How was it a surprise? The Heavenly Rockers are one of the most successful teams in the OAOAST... COLE And so are The Beverly Hills Blonds, who unlike Logan and Synth are official, card-holding Enterprise members. "Oh No" by Mos Def, Nate Dogg and Pharoah Monche hits next, getting a bit more of a cheer from the crowd. Head down, Todd Cortez marches out and right towards the ring in a state of complete focus. His pyro goes off far behind him, already way past his cue. BUFFER Introducing next, representative number one for Cuucaracha Internacional! Hailing from Hollywood Boulevard... weighing in at two hundred, twenty six pounds. He is "THE URBAN LEGEND"... TTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODD... CCOOOOOOOOORRRRRRTTEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE The black sheep of Cucaracha Internacional, Todd Cortez, who'll hold no stable pride but will be relishing the competition in this match nonetheless. COACH I'll bet. This is his only shot at number one contendership for anything while he's still refusing to fall in line. As Cortez slides into the ring, the arena goes dark. "God Of Thunder" pounds out through the arena. The entrance way lights up yellow, then fills up with yellow smoke, followed by the figure of Thunderkid walking through the smoke. With his half of the Tag Team Titles around his waist, Thunderkid walks tall and determined to the ring. BUFFER Representative number one for The Deadly Alliance. Hailing from Green Bay, Wisconsin... he weighs in at two hundred and fifty pounds. One half of the OAOAST World Tag Team Champions... TTHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUNN - DDEEEEEEERRRRRKKIIIIIIIIIIIIDD!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Thunderkid enters the ring and raises his arms, then starts bouncing back and forth on the spot sizing his immediate opponents up. COLE Gang warfare here tonight and plenty more to come at the Halloween Spectacular, as Thunderkid and Reject will defend their Tag Team Titles against opponents from Cucaracha Internacional, The Enterprise and The In Crowd. COACH After months of talk, it's starting to heat up between these groups Michael. And the OAOAST may never be the same once the dust settles on it all. The three men in the ring all cast some threatening looks around, "Rock The Casbah" hits to bring the crowd to their feet. Sweeping through the entrance way is of course Leon Rodez, wearing a big grin on his face as he opens up his robe to reveal the Nerdly thrilling treats beneath. BUFFER And finally, representative number one of The In Crowd! From Grand Rapids, Michigan... weighing in at two hundred, eighteen pounds. "THE NEW-AGE LOVE MACHINE"... "THE GRAND RAPIDS GOLDEN CHILD"... ladies and gentlemen, "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLLLEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Leaping to the ring apron, Leon turns to the crowd and blows them a two-handed kiss before leaping in over the top. Thunderkid takes a step towards him, Leon throwing up a mocking boxing pose and daring him to 'fite me'. COACH See, this is all this punk's fault. Everybody was getting along fine throwing around groundless threats and then he had to light the touchpaper, didn't he? I see him for real now. Leon ain't no good guy. He's just a troublemaker, plain and simple! Rodez removes of his robe and suddenly we're ready to go, as the lone referee in the ring joins his two colleagues on the floor. Finding himself in the middle of the ring, Leon quickly dances to the one unmanned corner before anyone can jump him unexpectedly, before the bell sounds. COLE So all of these four are in the toughest position possible to make it to the Halloween Spectacular. Of course, the best position will be whoever enters sixth of The Enterprise. Gee, I wonder who that'll be. *DINGDINGDING!* On the bell, the four starters all carefully start to leave their corners. All prepared for a sudden attack from each other. As they near the middle of the ring, Leon and Cortez get within touching distance and look like they're about to lock hands... and the moment they take their focus away, Thunderkid and Blanchard pounce on them! TK clubs away at Leon, Ned doing the same on Cortez. COLE Thunderkid and Ned both spotting an opening there and the battle picks up where we left it last week, hot and heavy! After a European uppercut, TK looks for an irish whip. Next to him Ned has the same idea with Cortez. Both Leon and Cortez duck attacks coming back off the ropes though, rebounding back and baseball sliding through the legs in stereo. As they get to their feet Leon and Cortez look at each other, surprised to be in synchronicity, before both ducking clotheslines and both hitting dropkicks on their respective opponents! COLE How about that! Leon and Cortez again look each other in the eye and pretty soon they're face to face, about to go at it. Again the other two men in the match see an opportunity though and come charging. Alert, Leon sidesteps TK, who ends up clotheslining Cortez, who in turn bumps backwards into Ned. As they hit the mat, Leon tries to take advantage on TK, looking for an irish whip, which is reversed. Rodez hits the turnbuckles and Thunderkid charges, only to eat boot! Hitting the ropes, Leon looks to follow up... ...but gets caught and PRESSED, Thunderkid walking him over to the ropes... ...only for Leon to slip free before elimination! Landing on his feet, The Silky Smooth One turns TK around and goes to work with forearms, while Cortez stomps Ned in a corner across the ring. COLE I wonder what Tha Puerto Rican must be thinking watching this, with 15 guys in immediate title contention, plus the 4 he has to wrestle next week in Miami! COACH That's the beauty of a bloated roster baby. Irish whip attempt is reversed again by Thunderkid, but this time Leon grabs the ropes to stop himself and encourages TK to kiss his rear end. TK charges in, presumably not through eagerness to do just that, landing up with him drop toeholded (toeheld?) across the middle rope. COLE Uh-oh, get out them tap shoes! COACH That's horrible. A happy again Leon does the JIG~! before hitting the ropes and driving his body weight into the spine of the Tag Team Champion! COLE Call That Bitch Bojangles! Fist pumping, Leon fires up the crowd. What he doesn't notice is Todd Cortez coming off the ropes to his side and LAUNCHING him into the air with the HOLLOW POOOOOOIIIIIIINT~! (Period.) Cortez jumps to his feet, but Ned is waiting with a clothesli... NO! Cortez sidesteps and guides Ned up and over the top... ...onto the apron, as Ned hooks the top rope and saves himself at the last second! COLE Oh, Ned almost gone! COACH That would have done him no favours with Mister Moneymaker, that's for sure. Maybe if Ned and Simon want to know why The Heavenly Rockers are repping the E at the Halloween Spectacular, they oughta look in the mirror. I still love'em though, don't get it twisted. As he rolls back inside Ned is stomped by Cortez, before being pulled up and hit with a European uppercut. And a second. Cortez then wrings the arm and looks for an irish whip. Spinning out in front, Ned reels Cortez in though and pulls a 180 to drop him throat-first across the top rope with the STUN GUN! Cortez whiplashes off the rope and holds his throat, as for a moment Ned is the only man standing. That moment soon passes though, as he turns around into a BICYCLE KICK from Thunderkid! COLE Bodies are flying in the early going. Physicality at every turn. Thunderkid steps over Ned's body, going back after Leon. He stomps him by the ropes, then stands on the bottom ring rope pressing it down across Leon's windpipe. TK delivers another few stomps, then pulls Leon up and tries to dump him over the top. COLE Here we go, Thunderkid looking to thin out the field a little. COACH And no surprise he goes for Leon. Good for him. Hanging on, Leon is able to avoid going to the floor as Thunderkid eventually pushes him over the top. He quickly scoots in under the apron and away from TK, giving him time to get to one knee and fire a right hand. And another. TK clubs back at Rodez, but a headbutt to the gut doubles him up, allowing Leon to get to his feet. He drives a bionic elbow to the back of the head, before backing off the ropes behind him. TK boots him in the gut though, elevating Leon into a fireman's carry and dumping him face-first to the canvas. Off the ropes, Thunderkid then follows up with a HARD boot to the side of the head! COLE Ooh! COACH That oughta make pretty boy a little less pretty, huh? COLE Maybe a little. COACH Ghey. With Leon down, Thunderkid goes after Cortez seeing him on the ropes. TK tries to lift Cortez over the top and calls Ned over to help him out. Still smarting from the Bicycle Kick, Ned gives TK no assistance though and instead gouges his eyes. Ned then tries to eliminate Thunderkid, only for Cortez to break it up. COLE We're getting ready for the next four entrants in under a minute. The face of this battle royal will change pretty dramatically at that point. Cortez and Ned trade shots, before Cortez makes some room... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and delivers a knifedge chop. Ned fires back with a right hand... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and Cortez fires off a second chop. So Ned delivers a knee to the gut to cut him off. Pulling Cortez in, Ned then slaps on a sleeper, as we see in the aisleway the bandaged face of Sandman9000 appears. COLE Here we go and here comes the Heartland Champion! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, Block 1 of this match is now underway. Entering the ring at this time, representative number two for The Deadly Alliance... the OAOAST Heartland Champion... SSAAAAANNDDMMMMMAAAAAANN 9000!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" As Sandman slides into the ring, Cortez tries to fight out of the sleeper. Turning to the side, he delivers an elbow to the ribs of Blanchard. And a second. With the hold weakened, Cortez then places a hand on Ned's back and shoots him off... ...into Thunderkid, WHO BACKDROPS NED UP AND OVER THE TOP ROPE!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COACH Oh Ned, no! COLE There goes the Handsome Hustler, at the worst possible time! As Sandman and Thunderkid jump Cortez, Ned sits up to see an apologetic Simon Singleton running past him. BUFFER Representative number two of The Enterprise... "BOX OFFICE" SSSIIIIMMMMMMOOOOOOOONN... SSSIIIIINNGGLLLLLEEEEEEETTOOOOOOONN!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ NED BLANCHARD ENTERED: #1, Enterprise LEFT: 1st ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Thunderkid Left in ring: Todd Cortez, Thunderkid, Leon Rodez, Sandman9000, Simon Singleton ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Singleton attacks Thunderkid from behind with a double axehandle, then follows him into a corner. Cortez and Sandman continue to go at it as well, while the entrants keep on coming. BUFFER Representative number two for Cucaracha Internacional, one-third of the OAOAST Six-Man Tag Team Champions... NNAAATTHHHAAAAAAANNIIIIIEEEEEEELLLLLLL... BBLLLLLLAAAAAAAAACCKK!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Black leaves everyone else to their battles and targets Leon Rodez as he slides in, attacking him in a corner. "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" COLE These people know who's coming next! COACH They're doing a better job than me then, this is confusing as hell! Those who are following this mess get their wish, as eventually out through the entrance bursts The Franchise, running to the ring at top speed. BUFFER And now entering the ring, the second and final representative of The In Crowd... the former three-time World Heavyweight Champion and undisputed Franchise of the OAOAST... ZZZAAAAAAAACCK... MMMMMAAAAAALLLIIIIIIIIBBUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE BUSINESS HAS PICKED UP BAH GAWD!! Zack slides into the ring and he comes in swinging! Spinning Singleton around, he drops him with a right hand. Thunderkid takes a step forward, to get dropped with a right as well. Wheeling away, Zack is charged by Sandman, but he blocks him with a boot then goes on the attack. Palm strike from the left side, palm strike from the right, another from the left and Sandman is reeling. Off the ropes, Malibu delivers a clothesline that puts Sandman against the ropes but doesn't knock him down. And as the Heartland Champion comes back asking for more, Zack looks to deliver. As Zack hits the ropes, Sandman ducks his head looking for a backdrop. Zack sees it and hops behind into a waistlock. Standing switch by Sandman, but Zack switches back and dumps Sandman backwards with a German Suplex! COLE The Franchise is on fire! COACH Not for much longer. Coach's prediction looks accurate, as Cortez hits the ropes for the HOLLOW POOOOIIII... NO! Zack leapfrogs The Urban Legend, who ends up spilling to the floor. He quickly tries to get back inside, but Zack dropkicks his legs out, causing him to fall face-first into the ring apron! Cortez is then put in the firing line again, as Simon Singleton charges... ...AND ZACK BACKDROPS HIM OVER THE TOP ONTO THE URBAN LEGEND!!!! COACH Aw, damnit! COLE And whatever advantage The Enterprise had is disappearing before their eyes! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SIMON SINGLETON ENTERED: #2, Enterprise LEFT: 2nd ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Zack Malibu Left in ring: Todd Cortez, Thunderkid, Leon Rodez, Sandman9000, Nathaniel Black, Zack Malibu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Zack turns away after the elimination... ...and comes face to face with Nathaniel Black, sending a wave of anticipation around the Wachovia Center! COACH Uh-oh! Uh-oh! COLE Would you look at this? Zack and Black, these two men have tore the house down every time they've met and they've been just dying for another shot at one another for months. And here it is! Already mouthing off to Zack, Black gives him a shove in the chest and dares him to take the first shot. No second invitation needed. Zack nails Black with a palm strike to the jaw. The Englishman responds with a BIG slap though, the sound echoing throughout the arena as Malibu reels backwards. As he does, he quickly has to drop down to avoid a Deadly Alliance double clothesline, which ends up nailing Black instead. Sandman and Thunderkid regroup as Zack charges them, letting him go through the middle of them. As he rebounds back they deliver a double boot and back off the ropes for another double clothesline, but Zack ducks. Sandman and TK keep going though... ...but as they rebound, Zack suddenly launches Leon Rodez overhead towards them, The Silky Smooth One coming out of the air with a dropkick that knocks both men backwards out of the ring!! COLE Excellent teamwork from The Usual Suspects, the former World Tag Team Champions! A high-five between Leon and Zack is a brief moment of calm, before Todd Cortez rolls back in and the Cucaracha Internacional twosome attack. Black jumps Leon while Cortez goes after Zack, beating them down before whipping them into opposite corners. With Black calling the shots, Todd whips his 'partner' across the ring towards Zack... and into a boot! Black staggers backwards, but Todd grabs him again anyway and whips him towards Leon... who also puts up a boot! COLE Not so excellent teamwork from Cortez and Black though. Understandably, Black isn't happy and yells at Cortez, even going so far as to shove him in the chest. Todd doesn't back down though and shoves his stable'mate' right back. COLE Uh-oh, Cucaracha Internacional in danger of falling apart! Nathaniel scowls at the push and gets in Cortez's face... BEFORE SURPRISING HIM WITH A HEADBUTT TO THE FACE!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Ooh! And somewhere, Landon Maddix must be fuming now! COACH I doubt it. Cortez is only in this to make up the numbers, you know that. As Cortez goes down, The Usual Suspects see their chance and sandwich Black between two meaty clotheslines. Black staggers, but doesn't go down. So Zack nails him with a shot to the face, sending him around into a jab from Leon! Open hand from Zack! A jab from Leon! Open hand! A jab! Open hand! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels... *SMACK!* *SMACK!* ...AND BLACK'S HEAD ALMOST EXPLODES FROM AN ENZIGURI/SCHOOL'S OUT COMBO!!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Black collapses like a felled redwood, completely KOed! COLE MAMA SAID... SCHOOL'S OUT!? COACH Dayyum. Just... dayyum. You look dayyum up in the dictionary and you'll see a picture of that. COLE I doubt it somehow, but whatever. Back in slide Thunderkid and Sandman, or attempt to at least. Zack and Leon meet them, keeping TK outside before bringing Sandman in. They send him into a corner with a double whip, before Zack follows in with a forearm smash. Zack then rolls backwards, with Leon soaring over top of him and driving the Superman Spear into the ribs! Sandman falls against the bottom turnbuckle... and Zack nails him with a facewash style knee strike off the ropes! COLE Boy, The Usual Suspects, the sole representatives for the In Crowd tonight, are doing exactly what they had to do. They are working as a well oiled machine. Quick, vibrant tag team combinations. Thunderkid makes it back in and is grabbed as soon as he does so. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Chop by Zack. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Chop by Leon. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Chop by Zack. And Leon decides to concede defeat, elbowing TK instead. After shrugs of the shoulders they load TK up, sending him off the ropes. Rodez lands a Rolling Sole BUTT, then scoops Zack up off the ropes, swinging him around with an assisted 619. As TK goes down, Rodez keeps a hold of Zack and throws him off his shoulder, bringing The Franchise down on top of Thunderkid with an assisted moonsault! COLE And again, another great combination of moves. COACH I can't argue against that. With The Usual Suspects standing, suddenly all eyes begin to turn to the entrance way, as the next wave of entrants begins... and begins with a very cautious REJECT, who slows almost to a stop as he sees Leon and Zack spot him. BUFFER Block 3 of this match will now begin. Entering the ring, representative number three for The Deadly Alliance... one half of the OAOAST World Tag Team Champions... RRRRRRRREEEEEJJJJEEEEEEEECCTT!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And Reject, in no rush to join the party. The Usual Suspects are rolling, but more than that, one of those Usual Suspects is Leon Rodez! Reject wipes a hand across his face and goes to enter the ring, but Leon takes a step forward and Reject suddenly thinks better of it. To the derision of the fans, The R-Man decides to wait it out, as he sees more help coming. BUFFER Representative number three for Cucaracha Internacional hails from The Isle Of Samoa and is one third of the OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions... FFFFAAAAAAAAAAAA - QQQUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Alright, here we go! COLE A heavy hitter for sure, Faqu. The Samoan Wrecking Ball marches to the ring and Reject applauds him, encouraging him to "go get them". Faqu stops and glares at Reject for a moment, saying something to him in Samoan before he walks past him (to Reject's relief) and stomps up the ring steps. Just as enters the ring, out rushes DETECTIVE BOSLEY as well, diving in and going right on the attack, right as Faqu does the same! BUFFER And representative number three from The Enterprise. From Miami, Florida... "DETECTIVE" TTAAAAAAAANNGGOOOOOOOOOOO... BBOOOOOOOSSSLLLLLLEEEEEYYYYYYY!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Bosley and Faqu brawl with Leon and Zack, giving Reject a window to safely slide into the ring. Sure enough, he goes right after Leon, knocking him down from behind while trading shots with Faqu. Reject stomps away on Rodez, not noticing that the Samoan hasn't appreciated his help and is glaring at him. Only when Reject stomps stomping and starts to pose does he realise. And by then it's too late, as Faqu nails him with a thrust to the throat! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE Well that might shut Reject up for a little while. Hopefully. With Bosley and Zack still going at it, Faqu stalks towards them and nails them both. Grabbing them in headlocks, Faqu then delivers a headbutt to both at the same time, dropping both and coming out of it unphased. COLE That thick, Samoan cranium doing it's damage. And could Faqu be the difference maker in the Fatal 4-Way at the Halloween Spectacular, when he and James Blonde challenge for the Tag Team Titles? COACH It might take everyone else in that match to stop him. Just like it might do tonight. Faqu is caught from behind by Reject, who tries to take the fight to him but takes another thrust to the throat for his troubles. Meanwhile, Sandman9000 tries to eliminate Nathaniel Black but struggles to get the Brit up and over. Todd Cortez comes over to help out, but who we won't know as Sandman cuts him off with a mule kick just to be on the safe side. COLE So by my calculations, we've got four men left to enter. James Blonde for Cucaracha Internacional and CPA, Christian Wright and Theodore Moneymaker all for The Enterprise, who although they only have one man in right now still hold all the big cards. Able to get off the ropes, Black fends Sandman off with a European uppercut. Over comes Faqu, attacking Sandman from behind with a Mongolian Chop. The Cucaracha Internacional duo then combine, trying to put the Heartland Champion over the top! Sandman wraps his legs around the ropes to save himself and clings on, waiting until Reject and Thunderkid come over to bail him out. Across the ring, Bosley pounds away on Zack, but soon finds himself outnumbered as Rodez spins him around and lands a forearm. Leon and Zack then corner Bosley, teeing off with right hands on the Alpha Male. BOSLEY COME ON, IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT!? Apparantly not, as Leon and Zack boot him in the gut, then lift a leg each and hover him over the top rope! COLE We've got Bosley in trouble here, Black maybe in trouble over in that corner with The Deadly Alliance and Cucaracha Internacional trios... who's going to the Halloween Spectacular!? Don't go anywhere, we will be right back!! *COMMERCIAL BREAK!* When we return, we no longer see Detective Bosley in peril, instead on the attack on Leon Rodez. That's thanks to Sandman9000 currently working on Zack Malibu. Meanwhile, the World Tag Team Champions Reject and Thunderkid double team Faqu, trying to lift him out with Nathaniel Black busy with supposed team-mate Todd Cortez. COLE Welcome back to HeldDOWN~! with this historic battle royal in progress and would you look at this scene Coach? COACH What in the HELL is Cortez thinking!? That's what I wanna know. Why is he going after Nathaniel Black!? If anybody should know about gang warfare it's this guy, so what is he doing!? COLE I'd think that's pretty self-explanatory Coach. Cortez doesn't care about Cucaracha Internacional and the feeling's mutual. This is all about bein one of the last two for The Urban Legend. Black nails Cortez with a knee to break his flurry of forearms, then delivers a European uppercut. Grabbing Cortez behind the head he then tosses him over the top... ...but Cortez SKINS THE CAT! COLE Great agility! With that dealt with Black starts to go to help Faqu, but before he can do so Cortez spins him around... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and cracks him with a chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And another. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And a third. Black doubles over for a second, but uses it to his advantage with a headbutt to the sternum, surprising Cortez. Black then looks for an irish whip. Cortez reverses though, pulling Black back into a boot and setting him up ready for the RIOT ACT PLUS... ...NO! Bosley charges and levels him with a clothesline to put pay to that! BOSLEY YEAH! YEAH! *pounds chest* THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT!! Fired up, Bosley turns around... and Black shows his gratitude by delivering the BLACK LARIAT!! COACH Nathaniel Black really likes nobody. I doubt he even likes Landon, Blonde or Faqu all that much. COLE He wouldn't be the only one. As Cortez gets to his feet, Black then grabs a hold of him... ...AND HURLS HIM UP AND OVER THE TOP!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Cucaracha Internacional, eliminating Cucaracha Internacional. COACH Good, eliminating not so good. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TODD CORTEZ ENTERED: #1, Cucaracha Internacional LEFT: 3rd ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Nathaniel Black Left in ring: Thunderkid, Leon Rodez, Sandman9000, Nathaniel Black, Zack Malibu, Reject, Faqu, Detective Bosley ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Finally Black is able to get over and help out Faqu, one of his preferred CI allies, by grabbing Reject and peeling him away. A headbutt sends Reject collapsing to the canvas. TK runs over to help out, but Black delivers a headbutt to him as well. Black stays on the attack on Reject, while Leon runs over and dives at Faqu with some forearm shots. Lifting him up in his arms, Faqu tosses Rodez away with ease though. As Leon picks himself up, Faqu then shuffles his large frame to deliver a Thrust Kick! COACH See, Cucaracha Internacional don't even need Cortez out there. Not when they've got Faqu. Get Cortez outta the way and get on with it, that's what I say! COLE And they've got more coming right now! Right on cue, we see a confident James Blonde jogging out, applauding his best buddy (besides Landon, of course!) BUFFER Block 3 of this match now begins. Now entering, the fourth and final representative for Cucaracha Internacional... hailing from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. One third of the OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions! He is "THE TRENDSETTER"... JJJJJAAAAAAAMMMMMEEEEESSSSSS... BBLLLLLOOOOOONNDDEEEEEEEE!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And that means we've got all three of the 6-Man Champions in there for Cucaracha Internacional now. As Blonde takes an eternity to take off all his trendsetting entrance attire, the other entrant at Block 3 makes his way out as well, to similarly negative reactions. BUFFER And representative number four for The Enterprise... now residing in Washington D.C. He weighs in at approximately '8 and 1/3 BARS OF GOLD'... The Financial Analyst of The Enterprise, this is "THE NATURAL"... CCHHHRRRIIISSTTIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAANN... WWWWRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHHHTT!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Wright sets his briefcase aside and starts to remove his polyester jacket, taking almost as much time as Blonde to prepare himself. COACH Hey, what's that all about? This man relocated to this city, our nation's capital and they show their appreciation by booing him? COLE I don't think Financial Analysts are too popular anywhere in the country right now, Coach. Especially in Washington. COACH True dat. COLE And especially if they're named Christian Wright. Finally Wright and Blonde join the fray, rolling in and immediately finding themselves going at it! Meanwhile, Faqu drills Thunderkid with a headbutt. Faqu then catches Sandman coming towards him, fending him off with a headbutt as well. The wave of bodies keeps coming though, Zack now going after his former rival. Predictably Faqu stays with what's working... but Zack expects it and throws his arms up across his face. That blocks enough of the headbutt for him to strike back, attacking Faqu's bulky midsection with open handed thrusts before closing the fists on some lefts and rights! Faqu finds himself backed against the ropes and Zack reaches down, trying to grab a leg and start lifting the Samoan towards elimination. But Faqu SLAPS him across the back, then slams Zack's head off of his knee. COLE Not many men capable of doing that! As Zack goes bowling away though, Faqu looks up to see Thunderkid thundering towards him... ...and NAILING HIM WITH A CLOTHESLINE... ...SENDING FAQU OVER THE TOP... BUT TK'S MOMENTUM TAKES HIM RIGHT THE WAY OVER WITH THE SAMOAN AS WELL!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE OH MY! Thunderkid just EXPLODED into life and eliminated the mighty Samoan Wrecking Ball, but he commited battle royal suicide in the process! COACH The momentum it took to get Faqu over, it's no surprise. If you're clotheslining a guy who's 300 pounds with enough force to knock him over the top rope, the only thing stopping you is concrete. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ FAQU ENTERED: #3, Cucaracha Internacional LEFT: 4th ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Thunderkid ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THUNDERKID ENTERED: #1, Deadly Alliance LEFT: 5th ELIMINATED: Ned Blanchard, Faqu ELIMINATED BY: N/A Left in ring: Leon Rodez, Sandman9000, Nathaniel Black, Zack Malibu, Reject, Detective Bosley, James Blonde, Christian Wright ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Picking themselves up, Thunderkid and Faqu start to go at it again on the arena floor, drawing a flood of officials (well, three) over to try and seperate them. Distracted by his partner's elimination, James Blonde walks over and tries to get Faqu to calm down. As he turns around though, he little expects what's waiting... ...Reject, like a snake in the grass, striking with the EULOGY~!~1!!!~!! COACH BAM! Reject hops back to his feet and smirks down at Blonde... *SMACK* ...BEFORE THE SMIRK IS WIPED OFF HIS FACE VIA SCHOOL'S OUT!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE There's your 'BAM!' right there! Even before the kick has set in, Zack quickly turns around and charges Detective Bosley... ...AND CLOTHESLINES HIM UP AND OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE AND THERE'S AN ELIMINATION!! Zack puts out the Alpha Male! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DETECTIVE BOSLEY ENTERED: #3, The Enterprise LEFT: 6th ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Zack Malibu Left in ring: Leon Rodez, Sandman9000, Nathaniel Black, Zack Malibu, Reject, James Blonde, Christian Wright ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As Bosley flips out on the floor, Christian Wright looks to avenge his team-mate as he attacks Malibu. After wearing Zack down to his knees Wright locks on a front facelock, elevating Zack up for the gordbuster... NO! Zack escapes by driving his knee into the top of CW's head while upside down! COLE That's an innovative way to save yourself. Zack lands on his feet and grabs Wright looking to throw him out, but Wright goes deadweight before being thrown and just falls into the ropes. Not dettered, Zack continues to try and dump him out anyway. Across the ring, Nathaniel Black has Leon Rodez in a similar position looking for the elimination. Sandman9000 walks over and Black 'encourages' him to help him out... so Sandman nails him with a forearm instead. Away reels Black, while Sandman takes over on Leon. COLE Uh-oh. Uh-oh is right, for everybody in the ring, as the lone entrant in this block makes his way to the ring, CPA. BUFFER Entering in Block 4, the fifth representative for The Enterprise... from Miami, Florida and weighing two hundred, eighty pounds... CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN... C... P... A!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" After getting hyped up by his V.I.C.E team-mate Bosley in the aisle, CPA enters the ring and immediately goes after Zack Malibu, surprising him with a bodyshot from behind. COLE And right after Zack! CPA, I'm sure on strict orders from Theodore Moneymaker, who surprise surprise will be coming out last in this battle royal. CPA continues to lay into the body of The Franchise with his heavy right hands, CW eventually lending a hand after getting his bearings back. They double-team Zack while Sandman9000 is forced to try and fight off Rodez, coming back with forearms. Sandman gets the better of the forearm exchange predictably enough. Hitting the ropes, he then goes for the Yakuza Kick... but Leon ducks and catches Sandman turning around with an Inverted Atomic Drop! Leon then trips the Heartland Champion up and applies the LIONTAMER!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Rodez has got Sandman trapped! COACH Yeah, but no submissions... and even if there were, Sandman wouldn't quit anyway. COLE This ought to soften Sandman9000 up a little though. With Sandman growling in pain, Nathaniel Black staggers over... and throws up his hands, leaving him to it!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COACH Well, I guess that was deserved. Black instead goes after Reject who's just gotten to his feet, trapping him in a corner and delivering elbow smashes. With Reject dazed, Black then looks for an elimination. But Reject is able to place the sole of his boot in Nathaniel's face, SLAPPING it back against the skull twice to free himself. COLE Nasty shots from Reject, this man has been vicious in recent months. COACH Yeah and he's also been successful, which is all that matters in the end... Grabbing Black's head, Reject sends him face-first into the top turnbuckle. As Reject backs away though, he suddenly feels a tug on his tights and goes stumbling forward... ...ALL THE WAY OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR, AT THE HANDS OF LEON RODEZ!!!!! "YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE OH YEAH!! COACH NO! COLE REJECT IS GONE!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ REJECT ENTERED: #3, Deadly Alliance LEFT: 7th ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Leon Rodez Left in ring: Leon Rodez, Sandman9000, Nathaniel Black, Zack Malibu, James Blonde, Christian Wright, CPA ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A furious Reject slams the ring apron and almost takes a swing at a referee, before getting even angrier seeing Leon waving to him from the ring. Reject tries to jump back in but the referees pull him away and send him heading to the back, much to his dismay. COLE A little bit of poetic justice, a small measure of payback, Reject gone at the hands of Leon Rodez! COACH What a sneaky move. He had the tights, he came in from behind... ugh! COLE Hey, look on the bright side, at least now Reject won't have to pull double-duty next week. COACH Shut up. With Reject (unhappily) on his way, Leon rushes over to help out Zack against CW and CPA. He slams the heads together with the trusty Double Noggin Knocker, then tries to dump Wright out! CPA clubs him with a double axehandle though. As Leon goes down, Zack jumps on CPA's back, only for the bigman to throw back an elbow, catching Zack right in the temple! COLE Ooh! Zack got caught hard there! CPA spins Leon around and wraps on a bearhug. Meanwhile, a reeling Zack staggers backwards... ...and before he knows what's hit him, HE SPILLS TO THE FLOOR AS BLACK DELIVERS A EUROPEAN UPPERCUT!!!! COLE WOAH, there goes Zack!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ZACK MALIBU ENTERED: #2, In Crowd LEFT: 8th ELIMINATED: Simon Singleton, Detective Bosley ELIMINATED BY: Nathaniel Black Left in ring: Leon Rodez, Sandman9000, Nathaniel Black, James Blonde, Christian Wright, CPA ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE Boy, that's a big surprise. Zack Malibu gone! COACH Nat doesn't enjoy much, but I can assure you he damn sure enjoyed that. COLE And the most relieved man in the building right now is Theodore Moneymaker, because now Zack won't have the chance to get his hands on him! COACH Even better! Not resting back on the elimination, no matter how satisfying, Black quickly targets Christian Wright and takes the fight to him. Meanwhile Sandman9000 is up and notices the one man free, James Blonde, curled up under the bottom rope. COLE Has Blonde done anything since he entered? Besides taking the Eulogy? COACH Well, he had that sweet jacket on... COLE I rest my case. Sandman walks over and grabs Blonde, dragging him off the ropes... ...but Blonde surprises him and pulls him forward... ...OVER THE TOP, BUT TO THE APRON ONLY!!! COLE No no, Sandman hangs on! The ever pleased with himself JB celebrates the elimination, only to feel that sinking feeling with the crowd telling him to turn around. Already begging off, Blonde takes a boot and gets planted with the ARCHANGEL'S WINGS!!~!1!!!~1!! COLE It's not been a great night to be The Trendsetter. Sandman casually picks Blonde up... ...and just as casually deposits him over the top!!! COLE Nope, not a good night at all. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JAMES BLONDE ENTERED: #4, Cucaracha Internacional LEFT: 9th ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Sandman9000 Left in ring: Leon Rodez, Sandman9000, Nathaniel Black, Christian Wright, CPA ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As Blonde hits the floor, the cheers turn to boos, as sauntering to the ring comes the last but not least leader of The Enterprise, Theodore Moneymaker. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your final entrant, representative number six and LEADER of The Enterprise! Hailing from Vero Beach, Florida... weighing two hundred, thirty seven pounds... "THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR" THHHHEEEEOOOOODDOOOOORRRREEE... MMMMOOOONNEEEEYYYMMMAAAAKKEEEEERRRR!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COACH The Messiah! Get it right! COLE The self-styled Messiah and he enters the ring in prime position. Not yet he doesn't. Reaching ringside, Theodore Moneymaker stands back with his arms folded and decides not to join the match just yet, despite the referees telling him to do so. "TED - DY SUCKS!" "TED - DY SUCKS!" "TED - DY SUCKS!" "TED - DY SUCKS!" As abuse is flung Moneymaker's way, all of which he rises above, the battle continues in the ring with the other five remaining. Sandman9000 sneaks up behind CPA, kicking him in the back which breaks his bearhug on Leon. Worn out, he falls to the mat, while Sandman lands forearm shots to CPA. One big punch to the ribs from the former ex-boxer cuts Sandman off though. With the Heartland Champ doubled over, CPA then preps the fist... and lands a knockout shot to the head!! COLE There's not many who can put Sandman9000 down with one strike, but CPA is definately high on that list. CPA turns around and clubs Nathaniel Black with a double axehandle, saving Christian Wright from elimination. Turning him around, he delivers body shots to the Englishman before pinning his arms behind his back. CW quickly hops to the middle rope and lands a fist, before CPA puts Black down with a clothesline. COACH Boy, it's looking good for The Enterprise now, huh Cole? COLE Well that might have something to do with the fact that Wright and CPA both entered after everybody else in the match and Theodore Moneymaker hasn't even gotten that far yet! COACH Mere details. All I know is, everybody else has one guy left, The Enterprise have three. With things going his men's way, Moneymaker finally takes off his white robe and starts to enter the match. Halfway up the steps though, he stops, seeing Leon Rodez get to his feet... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and spin CW around into a chop! CPA reacts... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...but gets chopped as well! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Chop for CW. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Chop to CPA. With both men reeling, Leon turns and hits the ropes... ...but Moneymaker catches his ankle, causing him to stumble into a knee from CPA. The bigman then whips Leon into Tne Natural, who takes Rodez up and down with the WRIGHT OFF!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And there's the numbers advantage. Not even three on one, could Moneymaker risk anything other than a sly trip from the floor though. COACH What are you talking about, he's getting in the ring, isn't he? COLE Oh sure, now he is! Sliding in, Moneymaker wears a big smile on his face as he congratulates his men on a good well done. Not a job completed though. Moneymaker quickly orders his troops as Sandman staggers back to his feet. CPA quickly grabs him, scooping and slamming the veteran. Moneymaker then shooes him out of the way, before delivering a FISTFUL OF DOLLARS~!~! COACH What a move! Textbook! COLE You've got to be kidding me. Lording it over Sandman as if he'd done all the damage, Moneymaker demands more. Christian quickly drags Leon over and steps aside, as Moneymaker falls back with another FISTFUL~!~! COACH Again! How impressive is Theodore Moneymaker looking right now? Look out World Championship! Moneymaker feels in fine form now and stalks Nathaniel Black as he gets to his feet. From behind, he delivers a big knee to the kidneys. Black falls into the ropes, bounced right back into Moneymaker's waiting arms and locked in the BANK VAU... ...NO!! Black slips out before the hold can be clamped in, ducking behind INTO THE CROSSFACE CHICKENWING!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH OH NO! OH NO! COLE MONEYMAKER'S CAUGHT! His boss's wails of pain get Christian's attentions and he quickly rushes to help... ...but Black ducks down AND CHRISTIAN ENDS UP TUMBLING OVER THE TOP!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CHRISTIAN WRIGHT ENTERED: #4, The Enterprise LEFT: 10th ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Nathaniel Black Left in ring: Leon Rodez, Sandman9000, Nathaniel Black, CPA, Theodore Moneymaker ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE Things don't look quite so good now! Luckily for Moneymaker, CPA makes a better job of saving him with a hard punch to Black's exposed ribs. As Black stumbles away from the ropes, CPA then measures him up. Coming off the ropes, he loads up the GIGATON PUNCH... ...BUT SANDMAN CATCHES HIM OFF THE ROPES WITH A YAKUZA KICK, SENDING HIM SPILLING UP AND OUT OF THE MATCH!!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE WHAT A SHOT!! There goes CPA, there goes the numbers advantage! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CPA ENTERED: #5, The Enterprise LEFT: 11th ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Sandman9000 Left in ring: Leon Rodez, Sandman9000, Nathaniel Black, Theodore Moneymaker ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Before Sandman can pull his leg from across the top rope though, Theodore Moneymaker plays opportunist AND DUMPS HIM OVER THE TOP RIGHT ONTO CPA!!!! COLE And just like that, we're down to three! The Heartland Champion got caught! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SANDMAN9000 ENTERED: #2, The Enterprise LEFT: 12th ELIMINATED: James Blonde, CPA ELIMINATED BY: Theodore Moneymaker Left in ring: Leon Rodez, Nathaniel Black, Theodore Moneymaker ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Theodore Moneymaker afford himself a laugh, even after seeing his two team-mates eliminated seconds apart. As he turns around, the laughing stops. Very abruptly, as he sees Nathaniel Black and Leon Rodez both staring at him. "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!" COACH Eek! COLE Oh boy! It's down to Moneymaker, Rodez and Black. Two of these men will fight for the number one contendership on Halloween night! Caught in a bad position, Moneymaker does what anyone in his position would... he flashes the "money fingers", hoping to buy someone off! He tries to convince both that they only need to eliminate the other and they'll face him in eight days, easy as. Both Black and Rodez are unmoved though and Moneymaker backs up, until he can back up no further. Just when The Messiah looks at his most vulnerable though, Black turns around and surprises Leon with a Lariat from the left side! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Moneymaker breathes a sigh of relief and pats Black on the back... ...earning a Lariat of his own!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Sure enough, Nathaniel Black doesn't care about money. And he damn sure doesn't care about either man left in this battle royal with him. He just cares about the number one contendership. Picking Moneymaker up, Black grabs a hold of the hair and with the Washington crowd cheering, he runs him towards the ropes... but Moneymaker drops to a knee and with a quick pull of the tights, drags Black face-first into the middle turnbuckle! COLE Well, if Moneymaker's going to make it to The Halloween Spectacular, he's going to have to do it on his own merits now. And that's as good a start as any. COACH Mister Moneymaker's more than capable, don't you worry. Just because he's got a large support staff backing him, people make out like he's a coward or something. COLE Heaven forbid. COACH Exactly! Propping Black chest-first in the corner, Moneymaker begins to club away at the shoulders with forearms, then works on the kidneys with some well placed knees. Meanwhile, Leon is pulling himself back up. Shaking out the cobwebs, he charges. Moneymaker moves out of the way, so Leon lands an elbow on Black. Coming out of the corner Rodez gets caught with a boot though, set up for a Piledriver. Kicking his legs, Leon is able to block once, then twice, before tripping the legs and looking for the Liontamer!! Moneymaker won't go though and before Leon can turn him, Black appears in front of him and delivers another hard Lariat... ...causing Leon to slingshot Moneymaker into the turnbuckles as he hits the mat!! COLE Here we go! As Moneymaker staggers off the turnbuckles, Black is measuring him. He charges, looking for a final Lariat... ...but Moneymaker dips the head, BACKDROPPING BLACK UP... ...AND ONTO THE APRON!! COLE Oh, so close! COACH Black's still not safe yet though. Black is able to get to his feet before Moneymaker can force him the rest of the way, a slugfest ensuing between the two. Moneymaker chops Black a couple of times, but Black responds by blocking a right hand and elbowing The Messiah. And again. Black then tries to get back into the ring... but a BILLION $ KNEELIFT stops him in his tracks! Black falls back out to the apron and Moneymaker reaches over to pick him up. An elbow further rocks Black, before Moneymaker grabs a hold of the head and prepares to hang him across the top rope... but Black breaks free of the grip, AND NAILS MONEYMAKER WITH A LARIAT!! COLE Oh man! Black almost caved Teddy's chest in with that one! Still Black isn't safe though, as before he can think of re-entering the ring, Leon Rodez springs into life. He leaps to the middle rope and springboards, delivering a dropkick... ...AND BLACK GRABS THE MIDDLE ROPE ON HIS WAY DOWN, FEET HOVERING INCHES FROM ELIMINATION!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAA...." COLE Is he..... can he..... COACH He's gotta go, he's gotta, surely! Picking himself up, Leon seems surprised to see Black hanging in, albeit by his fingertips. The Silky Smooth One smirks and makes a move towards the Englishman. But as he does, Theodore Moneymaker stands up and catches his eye. Taking a last look at Black desperately hanging on, Leon looks up and shrugs... ...BEFORE TOSSING MONEYMAKER OUT INSTEAD!!!! "YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* COLE That's it! We've got our winners! COACH .....WHAT THE HELL DID HE DO THAT FOR!?! That's exactly what Theodore Moneymaker is asking, as he looks up to see Nathaniel Black finally able to let go of the ropes and safely hit the floor on the referee's assurance. Moneymaker holds his head in his hands, as Black then rolls back into the ring, joining Leon in having his hand raised in joint victory. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THEODORE MONEYMAKER ENTERED: #6, The Enterprise LEFT: 13th ELIMINATED: Sandman9000 ELIMINATED BY: Leon Rodez ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE So it will be, next week in Miami, Leon Rodez and Nathaniel Black, with the winner to get the World Title shot at November Reign! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BATTLE ROYAL CO-WINNER: NATHANIEL BLACK ELIMINATED: Todd Cortez, Zack Malibu, Christian Wright BATTLE ROYAL CO-WINNER: LEON RODEZ ELIMINATED: Reject, Theodore Moneymaker ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ With Moneymaker being led away from the ring, distraught, Leon can't help but rub it in even further by offering his 'apologies' to The Messiah. Fuming, Moneymaker points the finger at The Silky Smooth One, who just shrugs his shoulders again. COACH I'm still waiting for answer, what the HELL did Rodez do that for!? COLE Well, I don't know! I don't know if he just wanted Moneymaker gone, or just saw an opportunity, thought Black was going to get himself back in. I doubt it was out of any respect for Natha... *WHAM!* Suddenly, the celebrating Leon gets caught and NAILED with a Lariat by Nathaniel Black! COACH Haha, there we go! COLE Now wait, the match is over! COACH Not for Nat Black it ain't! The referees wave wildly at Black to try and stop him, as he picks Leon back up. Crossing the arms under the chest the Englishman SPITS towards the zebra-stripes, before lifting Rodez up and PLANTING him with the BRITTANIA BOMB!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Black shoves Rodez's body away from him as he stands up, raising his arms and announcing himself as the one true winner. COLE That's certainly a strange show of gratitude! If it wasn't for Rodez, Black wouldn't have made it to the Halloween Spectacular, let alone have been left standing right now! COACH Yeah, but he is. That's a message if ever I saw one. COLE Folks, we hope you join us Halloween night, Black and Rodez for real plus the 5-Man Prism Match for the World Title and SO much more, you don't want to miss it! For The Coach, I'm Michael Cole, we'll see you in Miami! *FADE TO BLACK*

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! COLE Barack Obama and John McCain are fighting their way to Washington DC but it looks like the OAOAST HeldDOWN has beat ‘em there! The people have chosen HeldDOWN~! COACH Yo jokes is as dry as your mama’s rotten stankhole. Go and fix me up a sammich and some waffles, and think about your punkbitchery. COLE This week the OAOAST attempts to further insult your intelligence by featuring new OAOVW talent when existing wrestlers on the roster are rarely if ever used, having battle a royal to decide number one contendership featuring several of our top stars and several performer with such horrid records and poor track records of wrestling on this show that they hardly have any business being employed much less competing for a world title, we'll also make our latest effort at justifying having four singles titles when hardly any are ever defended on TV, and we attempt to paint Los Conquistadors as a tag team you shouldn't change the channel on by get this...giving them voodoo magic powers! And letting them speak English to talk about their voodoo magic powers! Boy, its wild and crazy here in the OAOAST! Can it get any wackier? I don't know I just may end up wearing a funny hat! *WHIIIR!* *WHIIIR!* Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case of lovin' you As "Bad Case of Loving You (Doctor, Doctor)" blares in the background, The Love Doctors entertain the OAOAST Marks™ with their exploits, gyrating to the music as Dr. Max Anderson does a strip tease for a lucky young lady. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Currently on his way to the ring, accompanied by fellow Love Doctor Steven Pigley…from Chicago, Illinois, weighing 225 pounds… DR. MAX AAAAAAAANDERSON! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Max gives the crowd a big thumbs up as readies for his encounter, loosening up in the ring as “The World Is Mine” by David Guetta replaces the musical styling of the late Robert Palmer. BUFFER His opponent is the 21-year-old prodigy from Manhattan, weighing tonight at 207 pounds… SSSSSSSPPEEEEEEEENNCCEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR REIGER! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" For a young man with a ton of potential but hasn’t done much yet, Reiger has a rather elaborate entrance with flashing spotlights and his initials illuminated on the stage. Once in the ring, Spencer rips open the hoody and poses on the top rope. COLE I must say, Coach, with developmental contracts nowhere close to the kind of money even the lowest level performer in the OAOAST makes, I wonder how Spencer Reiger is able to afford such an entrance. COACH Spencer’s a prodigy, Cole. A One Man Triple Threat with his looks, skills and charisma. He’s a special talent. If wrestling had a legitimate draft Spencer Reiger would be a sure-fire #1 pick and everybody knows how well paid #1 picks are. COLE Be that as it may, it was a week ago when Spencer Reiger walked out on teammates, Los Conquistadors and the Last Kings of Scotland, during a 10 man tag against The Love Doctors, D*LUX and Wrestling’s Last Real Good Guy, Tim Cash. HeldDOWN~! Last Week COACH We went over this last week, Mikey. Spencer knew he was on a sinking ship and saved himself. Even though he was superior talent, 5 against 1 are terrible odds. By the way, Cole, have you ever wondered how tag teams figure out which guy should compete in singles matches? COLE No. COACH Well I too have pondered that question and the answer is actually quite simple. The guy with the most success feels pity on the less fortunate one in the team, so he lets his partner have the spotlight in singles bouts. In our case tonight, Steven Pigley is by far the most success doctor, hosting a radio program, etc. Speaking of which, Dr. Steven Pigley plugs his show around ringside, asking fans to go online to "Listen to the Love Line on local Chicago radio!" * DINGDINGDING * Reiger pounces on Anderson as the bell sounds, clubbing the Love Doctor across the shoulders. Anderson blocks a turnbuckle smash and violently introduces Reiger to the buckle instead. ONE… TWO… THREE… FOUR… FIVE… SIX… SEVEN… EIGHT… NINE… TEN! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" The Prodigy staggers out of the corner and into a series of SPINNING BACKFISTS, followed by a cover. ONE… TWO… And only two. Rattled as though Spencer Reiger was, it wasn’t enough to keep him down for the count. The Doctor of Love plants New York’s Finest in the center of the ring with a suplex, then sprints off the ropes to deliver a BIG SPLASH…but Spencer gets the KNEES UP and makes Anderson a VICTIM OF THE REVOLUTION! COLE Devastating half-nelson backbreaker right there. It could be all here. Reiger hooks the leg following the cover. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Spencer applies a reverse chin lock, but rest holds are for pussies, so Max answers with a JAWBREAKER and a quick SMALL PACKAGE! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Reiger barely kicks out in time. But Anderson makes him regret it by using his head as a human punching bag. Whipped to the corner Reiger scales the turnbuckles and performs a BACKFLIP off the top, landing behind a charging Max Anderson before dropping him on the back of his head with the KATAHAJIME SUPLEX~! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” COLE Can I get a damn on that, Coach? COACH Not just a DAYUM~!, baby boy, but a GODDAYUM~! Reiger takes a bow to a chorus of boos, then drives Anderson face-first into the mat with a FORWARD RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! ONE… TWO… THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner… SSSSSSSPPEEEEEEEENNCCEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR REIGER!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Reiger’s hand is raised as “The World Is Mine” fires up. COLE An impressive outing after a very questionable one last week by Spencer Reiger. His attitude may leave a lot to be desired, but there’s no denying this kid’s got talent. COACH That’s why he’s a prodigy, you idiot! COLE My hat is a baseball! We cut backstage, to find OAOAST President Josie Baker talking with the SENIOR senior official of professional wrestling, Clem Buzzlefoxer. Josie seems to be trying to coach the poor guy how to make his count faster, which doesn't go well as he over-exerts his elbow in the process. Walking up behind this interesting conversation is Landon Maddix, who claps his hands getting Josie's attention (but not Clem's, hearing isn't what it used to be), to Megan Skye's embarrassment. MADDIX My my, if it isn't Senator Palin and Senator McCain! How's the campaign going? CLEM Who... who are you? MADDIX Yes yes, I admire what you did for this country greatly. You have my vote sir. Landon shakes Clem's hand, confusing the poor old geezer into thinking he really must be running for office, which explains the smile on his face as he totters off. JOSIE Did you want something? MADDIX Josie, can I ask you a question? Why in the hell are we dedicating 30 minutes of every show talking about a children's school-election that only effects about 12 people on this planet? We've got 80 wrestlers claiming unemployment while some Arabian blowhard is droning on about some eight year old girl? What the hell kinda wrestling promotion is this!? JOSIE Wel... MADDIX Sorry, that wasn't actually my question, I just felt like venting. No, I came to talk to you about The Halloween Spectacular. I've talked it over with everybody and I want James Blonde and Faqu representing me in the Tag Title match. JOSIE You mean 'representing Cucaracha Internacional'? MADDIX Well... yeah, yeah, same thing. JOSIE Right. Consider it done. That wasn't a question though. MADDIX Oh, it doesn't matter. Landon promptly walks off from a now equally confused Josie Baker, past the HeldDOWN~! interview backdrop which wakes Josh Matthews up from his game of Top Trumps with a member of the OAOAST production team. JOSH LANDON! Landon, sorry to interrupt but, can I get an interview? About The Halloween Spectacular? MADDIX What do you wanna hear? JOSH Huh? MADDIX Well, do you want me to talk about how I'm a three-time World Champion across two seperate companies? How I've beaten the best that the OAOAST has to offer? How I'm leading the group that over the next few days is finally going to prove it's the most dominant in the OAOAST, when we hold the World Titles in singles, tag team and six-man tag competition? And how after waiting so long, it's finally my time to regain the OAOAST World Title I had robbed from me one year ago? Because it'd be true. Landon shrugs. MADDIX Or, do you want the character assassination treatment? Do you want me to talk about how John Brickston has all the charisma of a jar of mayonnaise and that the most interesting thing he's come up with in his entire career to change that perception is stop using his first name? Or how Bohemoth is so busy fending off little girls harbouring teen crushes on him, those well-oiled muscles of his are probably going to be too tired to drag those ridiculous sunglasses off of his head, let alone win a World Championship? How about Alfdogg, the old guard of the OAOAST with a wise old head on a pair of old shoulders carried around on his old knees, being quite literally old news? Or of course, I could lay into Tha Puerto Rican... but, then again, he's really a walking joke as it is, so what untrodden territory is there, really? Landon shrugs again. MADDIX You tell me what angle you want and I'll give it to you. I'll tell you whatever you wanna hear. The fact is, all that's going to matter is what happens at The Halloween Spectacular. Five Man Prism Match? Everybody knows it should be me and the World Champion, I should be the sole number one contender, simple as that. Everybody saw it, clear as day, I was on top in the fatal four way. Well, I'll just have to be on top again, won't I? And, I will be... whether you want to hear that, or not. Landon and Megan again make a quick exit and we fade out to our first of many commercial breaks. COMMERCIAL

Cut to the stately dressing room of the Duncan clan*. (*Okay, so a dressing room is hardly stately. But this dressing room as as stately as one can get.) The camera focuses on a fancy changing cubicle behind which the award winning, video selling, cheque paying body that can only belong to Krista Isadora Duncan is silohuetted trying on an also silohuetted outfit. A bored looking Alix Maria Spezia flips through a style magazine, while an equally bored looking Jade Rodez-Duncan is busy tapping away on her iPhone. Both are engrossed in anything to keep them awake while they wait. After what seems like an age, Krista finally emerges from behind the curtain in a cheerleader outfit and does a twirl. Unfortunately neither daughter or girlfriend notice her. Krista grunts under her breath before stepping back behind the curtain, clearing her throat and twirling out again once she has their attention. And Jade almost drops her iPhone in shock. KRISTA Well, what do you think? JADE Oh, Mom, no! KRISTA No? Gee, I think it looks pretty sexy myself. Do you not like the colour? The fit? My affinity for 'Swag University' displayed on the front? What could possibly be your problem with this fantastic thing? Oh... ohhh, I get it, I get why you'd be worried by this. Mother's intuition. *taps nose* Don't worry sweetie, it's okay. You'll be the prettiest girl at the prom, I promise. *winks* Jade sighs. KRISTA Not that? Then what? What's wrong with it? We're going to be a tag team, we have to look the same, no? Cause I consulting wrestling historians who specifically informed me that all the best tag teams dress the same. That's what makes them good teams. ALIX But Lucius Soul and Rico De Janeiro look nothing alike! KRISTA I set-em up, you knock 'em down. Bam bam! JADE I understand that. It's just... well... I don't know if it's such a good idea. Those mothers who dress up their daughters to look like mini versions of them, you're always saying how they deserve painful deaths. KRISTA Yes, but those are other people. When I do it it's different because I'm wealthy and famous. JADE Yeah, but... it's just... ya know, you, in a cheerleader's outfit. KRISTA Hmm. JADE My Mom. KRISTA Hmmm. JADE With me. KRISTA Still failing to see the point here. Don't tell me you'd be embarrased by being seen with me looking like this because that'd be a damn dirty lie. Don't you want all the boys to know where you got that body from. BAM! Them's the ovaries ladies and gents! Especially ladies. Single mom in well working order, ladies grab your tickets to grab dem cakes. It's actually over-dressing by my swagnificent standards. ALIX Hmm, allow me to put my detective hat on one second. I think what's Miss Jade's trying to say in her special, timid shrew trapped by a cat and barely able to make a squeak in fear way that we all love is, if you're out in the arena in a cheerleader's outfit, next to your cute, young daughter who's also in a cheerleader's outfit, you run the risk of coming across as old and desperate for attention. You know, like all those women dressed as cheerleaders on all the porn sites. Sooo disappointing. *looks up* Hey, where'd my hat go!? Krista can't hide her amazement KRISTA I'm sorry, but are you saying my daughter is going to look hotter than me? Because if you are then sugar I think you need to get your eyes tested... (to Jade) no offence honey... (to Alix) I mean come on, look at my bazookas in this thing, huh!? BAM BAM BAM! I'M SHOOTIN' EM ALL DOWN! ALIX Nuh-uh. I didn't say hotter. I said younger. KRISTA Well isn't that the darned same thing? As the two not quite so young but certainly young looking women contemplate this quandry, Jade takes a stand. Literally. JADE Look, please Mom. If we're going to be teaming together, it'd be really nice if you... you know... tried not to do any of that weird stuff you usually do? KRISTA But it's the weird stuff that makes me so popular! Right? Getting no support from either daughter or girlfriend, Krista folds her arms. KRISTA Look, don't get mad at me, you're the one who agreed to this stupid match young lady. JADE Uh, no, actually Alix did before I could say no. All eyes turn to a cornered Miss Spezia. ALIX I just thought it would make a poignant moment in our family's history. JADE Wait... what do you mean by (sarcastic) "You're the one who agreed to this stupid match"? KRISTA Well, as we say in Hollywood, 'what's my motivation?' What's in it for me really? Yes, I'm teaming with my eldest daughter and I'm sure that's something to go in the coveted OAOAST record books till the end of time. But if you really want us to do something together as a mother and daughter, why not let those people from E! pay us to put cameras in our house and do that reality show they keep pestering my agent about. It'd pay more and reality TV is still marginally more credible than the OAOAST. Besides, I already beat Mr. Dick... ALIX LOLZ! KRISTA ...last month. Don't get me wrong, any chance to illustrate Chick's dominance over Dick is just fantastic, because it might jog people's memories and shift a few more copies of mine and Alix's best of DVD and we'll be seeing some royalty cheques flooding through the letterbox. Other than that, really what's the point? His freaky girlfriend I wouldn't mind meeting again but there's many places higher on my dating hierachy than a wrestling ring. You see where I'm coming from, surely. Your Mom's a hot commodity in so many different fields. If I just went out and accepted every movie role and every commercial endorsement deal that was flung at my agent, not only would I be rather tired, but my credibility would plunge like the US economy, which incidently is a major factor in me making sure my credibility doesn't plunge. JADE So, you're saying you don't want to team with me? KRISTA I'm saying I'd rather not team up with you in a wrestling capacity, yes. A co-starring or a collaberation, sure, but tag-teaming? Surprised at her mother's stark honesty, Jade sadly hangs her head and starts to walk off. JADE Don't worry, I get it. Well, I'm sorry I can't be the partner you want me to be. I guess being Women's Champion isn't good enough for you!? You think I'm going to embarrass you, don't you!? I hate you sometimes, you're the worst mother in the world!! KRISTA Wha... Jade stomps off from her mother in a typical teenage huff, slamming the door behind her. Luckily for Krista it swings back open. KRISTA You don't mean that! What about Lynn Spears? Jade!? Jade, I didn't mean I didn't want to team with you specifically! I just don't like to wrestle, period! I HATE WRESTLING! HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THIS ABOUT ME YET!? Realising Jade isn't coming back, Krista sighs and slumps into the couch in her own huff. ALIX Do you want me to talk to her? KRISTA Nah, I'll just wait for her to calm down and buy her something nice to make it up to her. Alix sits down next to Krista with a dreamy look on her face, as she places a hand on Krista's thigh. ALIX We're going to make great parents. COACH I knew Krista was a good actress but I don't know how girl managed to keep a straight face after the "I guess being Women's Champion isn't good enough for you!?" I was out here buggin! That the title is the equivalent of Minkus from Boy Meets World. You know she wakes up everynight wondering why her daughter couldn't be Leighton Meester. The camera cuts to the OAOAST HeldDOWN~! interview area where Josh Matthews is standing by with Tha Puerto Rican. The crowd EXPLODES with cheers! Tha Puerto Rican is wearing his Puerto Rican flag bandana on his head, sunglasses, an earring in his left ear, a gold chain around his neck and his wrestling attire, and is holding the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. JOSH MATTHEWS P.R., we are 8 days away from one of the biggest challenges of your OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship reign. You will be competing in a 5-Man Prism Elimination Match against four men who you have a lot of history with in Alfdogg, Brickston, Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix and Bohemoth. You have never defended your Title against this many men befo-- Tha Puerto Rican puts his right hand in front of J.Math’s face. The crowd cheers loudly. The camera cuts to several PRL signs in the arena. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” Josh Matthews just stands there and waits for PRL to stop listening to the fans chant his name. He’s gotten used to it by now. PRL eventually looks at Josh and brings the microphone to his lips. THA PUERTO RICAN At long last…after all this time…THE CHAMP IS HERE IN WASHINGTON D.C.! CHEAP POP~! THA PUERTO RICAN So here we are, in our nation’s capitol, two weeks away from the United States Presidential Election. But before Americans everywhere decide whether they want a giant douche or a turd sandwich for President, Americans everywhere will be tuning into TSM next Friday night for the Halloween Spectacular to witness Tha Puerto Rican defend his One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Title against four of the greatest professional wrestlers in the world today! And just as sure as whoever becomes President won’t really help change this country, and just as sure as Josh Matthews is an ugly cross-dresser, Tha Puerto Rican is just as sure that next Friday night, at the Halloween Spectacular, he will be in a 5-Man Prism Elimination Match. This is gonna be the toughest match of my World Heavyweight Championship reign. Tougher than the Triple Threat Match, tougher than the No Holds Barred Match, tougher than the Steel Cage Match, even tougher than the 60-Minute Iron Man Match! You know why? Because instead of having one, two, or three guys wanting to beat me, I’ve got FOUR! And not just any four, but four men who hate my guts and would like nothing more than to see me crippled! So, not only do these guys want to become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, but they all also have a personal interest in seeing me LOSE next Friday night. PRL adjusts the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. THA PUERTO RICAN So yes, this match will be BRUTAL! This match will be TOUGH! But Tha Puerto Rican is not afraid. Oh no. Because for one thing, Tha Puerto Rican HAS beaten all FOUR guys individually before! (The crowd cheers) And number two, even if number one wasn’t true, Tha Puerto Rican wouldn’t be scared. Because think about it: Tha Puerto Rican is facing Whiny McWhinesalot, talking about how he got screwed at Zero Hour even though there was absolutely NO screwing whatsoever, the guy who is starring with his manager in Brokeback Mountain 2: Electric Boogaloo, speaking of screwing, that little stinking nugget who just doesn’t want to be flushed down the toilet, and then there’s Bohemoth. Now Bohemoth is pretty cool. He is a good wrestler…FOR ME TO POOP ON! The crowd cheers! PRL has a satisfied grin on his face. THA PUERTO RICAN Yeah, yeah, Leon isn’t the only one who can reference Late Night With Conan O’Brien in this company! Anyway, the question is NOT whether or not I will win the match, but whether who I will eliminate last. It could be any one of those four. And it doesn’t matter which one it is. It could be Brickston, he who lost to Tha Puerto Rican 12 TIMES in ONE NIGHT at AngleSlam. Brickston, he who is a choke artist! Brickston he who is all bark and no bite. Brickston, he who will be wrestling with his ’good friend’ Vitamin X at ringside. Vitamin X, Tha Puerto Rican sees the way that you look at Brickston. And Brickston, Tha Puerto Rican sees the way that you look at Vitamin X. Vitamin X, Tha Puerto Rican sees how you lick your lips when Brickston wrestles. And Brickston, Tha Puerto Rican sees the way that you look Vitamin X up and down when he talks, undressing him with your eyes. So, Tha Puerto Rican says, why don’t the two of you just get it over with, and have yourselves a little baby! The crowd cheers loudly! PRL sneers at the camera. THA PUERTO RICAN I could see it now: Little Brickston X. With a huge jaw, wearing a little business suit and a diaper full of crap! And his first words will be: (in a whiny high(er) pitched voice): ‘Clench those fists, because it’s Fists Of Fury Time!’ Tha Puerto Rican does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle! The crowd cheers loudly. THA PUERTO RICAN Or the last one eliminated could be Alfdogg. Alfdogg, he who has three jabronies and a HOOKER watching his back. Alfdogg, he who hasn‘t done anything interesting in about two years AT LEAST. Alfdogg, he who headed a professional wrestling company that SHUT DOWN! Alfdogg, he who won’t…stop…WHINING! ‘WAAAAH! I beat Tha Puerto Rican at AngleSlam! WAAAAAH! PRL got lucky at Zero Hour! WAAAAAH! I should be the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion right now! WAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAH!’ OH SHUT THE HELL UP YOU BIG BABY! The crowd cheers again. THA PUERTO RICAN Or maybe Tha Puerto Rican will have to eliminate last the NUGGET! Or, as you people know him by, Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix, he who has the ridiculous haircut. Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix, he who is as about as talented as a retarded monkey. Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix, he who has to pay people to be his friends. Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix, he who has a two dollar, NO!, one dollar, NO, 50 cents, NO, buy her for 10 cents and get the next one for free SLUT for a girlfriend! ’Prepare for Landon!’ Nope! Prepare to get your ass whopped by The Most Electrifying Man In Professional Wrestling! THAT’S what you need to get prepared for, NUGGET! And that’s the truth, Ruth! The crowd cheers some more. COACH He is going to regret saying that. COLE Shut up. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” PRL “smells the electricity” in the arena. THA PUERTO RICAN Or maybe Tha Puerto Rican will have to eliminate last…Bohemoth. Bohemoth, he who has more muscles in places than Tha Puerto Rican has places. Bohemoth, he who is as tough as he is stylish. Bohemoth, he who has a million dollar body but a ten cent brain! Bohemoth, he who thinks he has got Tha Puerto Rican all figured out…but he has no idea what he is in for next Friday night. Tha Puerto Rican puts on an In Crowd T-shirt! He removes his Puerto Rican flag bandana and earring from his left ear. THA PUERTO RICAN (as Bohemoth) Well, I’m gonna go put on a PIMP suit. Drink some PIMP juice. Take a big PIMP dump! And then I’m gonna go in the ring and get my PIMP ass kicked by Tha Puerto Rican! Because I am PIMPEMOTH~!, the PIMPIEST WRESTLER WHO HAS EVER PIMPED IN THE HISTORY OF PIMPTON! (As himself) Oh give me a break! Tha Puerto Rican rips off his In Crowd T-shirt and throws it to the side! COACH Do you REALLY want Bohemoth to hate you even MORE!? COLE Tha Puerto Rican is ready for the Big Man next Friday night! Tha Puerto Rican adjusts the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. THA PUERTO RICAN And one more thing, next Friday night at the Halloween Spectacular in Miami, Florida, Tha Puerto Rican is going to do all that he can to retain the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. And there is nothing Bohemoth, NUGGET, Brokeback Mountain, nor Whiney McWhinesalot can do about it…except watch out for the lightning strikes, because either one of them, two of them, three of them, or all FOUR of them are about to suffer a P.R. Nightmare! Tha Puerto Rican snatches the microphone away from Josh Matthews and shoves him off screen. Tha Puerto Rican tilts his head back and then brings the microphone to his lips. THA PUERTO RICAN THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP…HAS…SPO-KUN~!!! Tha Puerto Rican does The People’s Eyebrow to the camera. “Know Your Role 2000” starts playing over the P.A. system. The crowd cheers loudly. COLE Well, as you can see, as you can hear, it is going to be every man for himself next Friday night at the Halloween Spectacular! Five men will be competing for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship, but only one man can have the honour of being the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! But before we get to the Halloween Spectacular, we will start the countdown to November Reign coming up next! A Stable Battle Royal, with the last two men left standing competing next week at the Halloween Spectacular in a #1 Contender’s Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship, with the winner of THAT match to meet the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, whoever he will be, at November Reign 2008 on November 30th! Fans, don’t go away! The Stable Battle Royal is coming up next! COMMERCIAL BIRDS OF A FEATHER...R-LOCKED TOGETHER LIVE! HALLOWEEN NIGHT ON TSM

We're taken backstage where Mackenzie DeCenzo has found a quiet place to practice her secret talent of Cubist painting. She sits on a stool dutifully tracing her brush along a canvas. But her moment of quiet is interrupted by none other than Baron Windells. BARON Mackenzie! MACKENZIE Hm? BARON I need a moment. Because I...are you painting a picture? MACKENZIE Of an 18th century Chinese farming labor camp. But its in cubist style so it could be a 25th century robot dog show on Venus for all I know. Art history joke. Not very funny. BARON Cubism? Like that one Picasso fella? MACKENZIE Like that one Picasso fella. Exactly. It was Molly's idea to get me to explore my creative threshold as she called it. I should've known better than to listen to a girl that explores her sexual threshold with the likes of Leon Rodez. Honestly I'm bored enough by the whole thing that talking to you actually seems right up my alley. What would you like, Mister Windells? BARON I need a match with Christian Wright. I prefer one at the Halloween Spectacular, but I ain't picky just as long as I get to fight. MACKENZIE Is that right? Pun unintended. Why, Mister Gunslinger, would you need a match with Christian? Just help me out to the reasoning behind that request. There aren't very many people lining up to face a former HI-YAH world champion, after all. BARON I don't know why your boss keeps puttin me against his guys, and I don't know nothing about "scouting" reports he keeps gathering on me. But what I do know is that when Christian and I fought a couple weeks back, we had one hell of a tussle and he walked right on out. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw him do that! Where I come from, when you start a brawl, you don't stop until someone leaves in an ambulance. Let's put aside all this scouting and what not and let's finish our brawl. I'm a fighter and that's what I do, ma'am. MACKENZIE Are you sure you're not a maschoist? BARON What's that, ma'am? MACKENZIE Its a...nevermind the joke doesn't pack quite as much punch when you have to define the punchline. It actually wasn't that funny to begin with. More of quip than a joke. But you want to wrestle Christian Wright at the Halloween Spectacular, did I hear that right? BARON Just gimmie that match, and I'll be out your hair. If he wins, then so be it. If I win, then so be it. I'm just trynna finish what I started. MACKENZIE Its your funereal I suppose. Very well, I'll speak to Josie and have your match made. I guess then we might get to find out why Teddy has sung so many of your praises. I wish you all the luck in the world. BARON I make my own luck. Mackenzie dismisses Baron with a wave of her brush and goes back to painting what I think looks a little like a donkey humping David Hasselhoff.

Magnum Opus hits, and the lights go out in the arena, as the crowd starts to boo. COLE And we're being told this is a bonus gauntlet match, and it will feature all of the participants in the 5-Man Prism Match at the Halloween Spectacular! COACH All right! This should be great A light comes on in the entryway, and a figure starts to emerge. COLE And it looks like Alfdogg... The camera focuses in, revealing that it's actually a midget dressed as Alfdogg, carrying the United States title belt. COACH What is this? BUFFER The following is a 5-man gauntlet match! The last man remaining after the four other men have been defeated, either by pinfall, submission, disqualification, or countout, will be the winner! Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 237 pounds...he is the leader of the Deadly Alliance, the reigning OAOAST United States champion, and a former three-time heavyweight champion of the WORRRRRRRRRLD...ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOGG!!!!! COLE Well, I'm not sure what's going on here, but that is the real United States championship belt he's carrying! Mini-Alf climbs into the ring, and holds his belt in his right hand, dropping to one knee as his pyro goes off behind him. COACH Well, let's see what happens next... *Give me fuel Give me fire Give me that which I desire!* Fuel by Metallica hits. COLE And that is the music of Brickston, but who's going to come through the curtains next? The camera moves in, as Sandman9000 walks through the curtain, dressed up as Brickston. COACH BUFFER From Sacramento, California, weighing in at 215 pounds...BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRICKSSSSSSSSSSSSSTONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! COLE And that is Sandman9000, what is that in his hand? COACH Oh my God, he really does have cereal! COLE :lol: COACH Man, I love the X-Man, but that's pretty funny! Sandman sets the cereal box in the corner, and leans in for "advice", before Mini-Alf drags him into the ring! COLE And Alf getting the action going right away! *DING DING DING* Sandman sarcastically kicks and screams, as Mini-Alf stomps a mudhole in the corner. Mini-Alf then picks up Sandman, and whips him into the corner, where Sandman does a Flair flip onto the top rope, then comes back down into the ring. He staggers right into Mini-Alf, who ducks down and takes him overhead with a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COLE And a nice suplex by Alf! Mini Alf then climbs to the top rope... COLE And Alf all the way up top! COACH Look at this, he must be five feet in the air! ...and executes the FIVE-STAR MINI-ALF SPLASH~!!!!!11111 COLE And he hit it! COACH I think you'd call that a tadpole splash! 1... 2... 3!!! COLE And Brickston is eliminated! COACH Very impressive showing by Alf! Sandman rolls out to the box of cereal, and apologizes to it for letting it down, before reaching in and grabbing a handful, then shoving it into his mouth. Suddenly, Tony Tourettes comes barreling down the ramp, and snatches the box from him, and begins to eat it. TONY MY CEREAL, BITCH! Sandman gives him a girly slap on the shoulder, then follows him up the ramp as Shadows of the Night hits. COACH Uh-oh, Prepare for Landon! But it's not Landon, it's Reject dressed as him, accompanied by Melissa Nerdly, wearing a mop top on her head, a huge fake nose, and a bra underneath her dress making her right breast rise noticeably higher than the left one. COLE And it's Landon and Megan, I suppose, played by Reject and Melissa Nerdly! COACH Well...I don't know about this one, Cole, that's a little harsh, I think! BUFFER From Huron, South Dakota, weighing in at 208 pounds...accompanied by Megan Skye, he is the leader of Cucaracha Internacional..."LA CUCARACHA" LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLANNNNNNNNNNNNNNDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNN MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!! Reject reaches his arms out, and Melissa pats him on the chest, to which Reject responds by quickly covering up. COLE Watch it, Landon's got a sensitive chest! Reject climbs onto the apron, and steps through the second rope, but as he does, Mini-Alf catches him with a seated dropkick, knocking him back to the apron! COLE And once again, Alf taking advantage of the situation! Mini-Alf steps to the second rope, and hooks Reject in a front facelock, then brings him back inside with a suplex! He then drops a snap legdrop! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! COACH Landon's gonna be a little tougher catch than Brickston, it looks like! Reject backs into a corner, and sits on the bottom rope, as Mini-Alf sizes him up, and lays in a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Reject holds his chest and feigns crying, as Alf lays in another CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Reject sits down in the corner, and begins to suck his thumb, as Melissa hops onto the apron, distracting Mini-Alf. COLE And Alf now being distracted by Megan Skye! COACH Oh, will you stop? Reject charges, but Mini-Alf moves out of the way, and Melissa gets knocked off the apron! COLE And down goes Megan! Mini-Alf then grabs the legs of Reject, and steps through for a SHARPSHOOTER~!!!!!11111 COLE Sharpshooter! Reject immediately taps, then begins to cry again. COLE Two gone! Mini-Alf releases the hold, then Reject rolls to the outside. *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* COLE And now what? Thunderkid walks through the curtains, dressed as Bohemoth. COACH ThunderBo~! BUFFER From Greenville, South Carolina, weighing in at 284 pounds...representing the In-Crowd...BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! TK flexes his muscles and makes weird faces, sort of like Gillberg, as he walks toward the ring. He rolls inside, and poses on the ropes, then circles the ring with Mini-Alf. However, he soon spots Melissa on the floor, then slides out and chases her around the ring! COACH And there goes Bo, preying on defenseless women again! TK catches up to Melissa, and forces her down onto the ground, then simulates rape on her on the floor! Melissa can be heard screaming "NO MEANS NO"! as TK mock-thrusts. COLE Well, this is just wrong. COACH Yeah, it's wrong now that it's guys that you like taking heat? I played along when it was Landon and Brickston! Show some objectivity! The referee calls for the bell, as officials run out to the ring to restrain Bo. COLE And I think we have a countout here... COACH Come on, put the cuffs on him! He's a criminal! Suddenly, Sandman and Reject run back out, dressed as Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez, respectively. COACH And here comes the In-Crowd, finally! Sandman and Reject pull TK off of Melissa, and drag him out of the arena, as Melissa is helped to the back by officials. "THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP..." *DUN DUN* "...IS..." *DUN* "...HERE!" With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and “Know Your Role 2000” begins playing over the loud speakers. The lights go down. PR is heard saying, “THE CHAMP IS HERE!” in tune with the beat of the song while smoke fills the entryway. A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and Alfdogg himself emerges through the smoke, dressed as Tha Puerto Rican, and carrying a foam OAOAST World title belt. COACH OH YEAH~! The champ is here! BUFFER From Miami, Florida, weighing in at 220 pounds...he is the OAOAST Heavyweight champion of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD...THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! COLE And that is the real Alfdogg, playing the part of the World champion, Tha Puerto Rican. COACH He may well be living the part of World champion after next week! COLE He may well. Alf rolls into the ring, and removes the replica belt, then hops onto the middle rope and holds it up. He repeats this in all four corners, as the camera focuses on Mini-Alf laying across a corner on the top rope, "sleeping." COACH I don't blame you, Alf, I'm about there myself watching this! Alf tries a sneak attack on Mini-Alf, but Mini-Alf turns and drives a foot into his face! He then gets up and stands up on the top rope, and executes a HURRICANRANA~! Mini-Alf then waits on Alf to get to his knees, and hits a SUPERKICK~! He then climbs to the top rope once again...and hits the FIVE-STAR MINI-ALF SPLASH~!!!!!11111 1... 2... 3!!! COACH ALF WINS! BUFFER Here is your winner...ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GG!!!!! COLE ...Well, Alf hoping this is a preview of The Halloween Spectacular next week, when the real Alf will step into the ring with the real-life versions of these four men, in the 5-Man Prism match for the World Heavyweight championship! COACH It could very well be, Cole! Mini-Alf stands over Alf with his foot on his chest, raising both Alf's replica as well as the US title belt. He then waits for Alf to start to get up, then pulls his fist back at him, and Alf quickly bails out and runs back down the aisle. COACH Yeah, look at PRL run like a dog! COLE Shut up. Folks, there's more HeldDOWN coming up from the nation's capital. We'll have a HUGE battle royal to try and figure out who's gonna face PRL at November Reign. COACH If PRL is even still world champion by then. Which he ain't gonna be, so ain't no worries on that. COMMERCIAL Stables Battle Royal 2 Winners face at Halloween Spectacular Winner becomes #1 Contender for November Reign In Crowd vs. Enterprise vs. Deadly Alliance vs. Cucaracha Internacional TONIGHT

We're taken backstage to very popular Josh Matthews. Seriously, Josh has been used more tonight than he has in the past 3 months combined. Time for a new Nerdly girl I guess. MATTHEWS Josh Matthews standing by, with the Halloween Spectacular just over a week away. And my guests at this time are in for an historic test in Miami, set to take on the OAOAST's first ever mother/daughter tag team combination of Krista and Jade, they being Malaysia Nerdly and Jo... As Malaysia and Mr. Dick walk in, Josh hurriedly stops himself. MR. DICK Now I know you weren't fixing to call me what I think you were bitchboy. It's Mister Dick. Not Jock, not Dick, not Dickie, not nothing but Mister Dick. You disrespect the Dick and it'll do the same right back atcha. MATTHEWS Duly noted. Now, after your actions last week, I have to ask, are you worried about what Krista's fixing to do to you in eight nights? Mr. Dick gives Josh an incredulous look, before snatching the microphone away from him. MR. DICK Do I look like a man who oughta be worried by anyone? Take a good look at me Josh. Go on, go ahead. I know you wanna lay them eyes on me faggot, this one's a freebie. Take a lookie-loo at these washboard abdominals. Take a look at the bulging biceps. Feast your eyes on the tight, toned BUTT of a champion! I'm in the best shape of my life. Hell, I'm in the best shape of ANYBODY's life! 6'4, 238 of Texas's finest thoroughbred. Only difference is, the horses are the ones with penis envy when it Mr. Dick's out on the ranch! I'm lean and I'm mean, in all the right places. Now take them eyes off'a me pervert. Save it for the privacy of your hotel room, freak. And while you're at it, quit looking at my woman too. Whether you got a dick or not and from where I'm sitting it's mighty inconclusive, you sure as all hell ain't got one like mine so you wouldn't have a clue what to do with a certified sexual predator like her! Malaysia growls under her breath at Josh. MR. DICK You've just been lusting them homo eyes up and down this chiseled human masterpiece, you tell me why I oughta be worried by anybody. Let alone a couple bitch women. Ya'll think just cause the Duncans are teaming up for the first time in history that me an' Malaysia an' the rest of the world better be worried? Face it, they ain't got no hope! An entire family of bitches, not one of them knows how to handle a dick and I'm the biggest Dick of them all! What hope they got!? No hope! No hopers! Krista found out long ago she weren't woman enough to satisfy a man, that's why she devoted her life to cleaning more carpets than an asian housemaid! And as for lil' Jade... MATTHEWS Maybe you'd better stop right there. Krista's already threatened some serious injury on you after your attempted attack on Jade last week. And I hope for your sake you're not thinking of trying that again at the Halloween Spectacular! MR. DICK Don't you worry about a thing. See, I had a little talk with President Baker. An' staring at her horseface for 20 minutes straight helped me come to the sudden realisation that there ain't but one person in the OAOAST worthy enough of close encounters of the penile kind with Mr. Dick. Actually, scratch that. Only this beast next to me is worthy enough of this beast hanging outta me. Not a person else. So Krista, you rest easy. You can go back, safe in the knowledge that ain't no man gonna wanna touch your illegitimate spawn. Mr. Dick's juices are a commodity more precious than holy water, I ain't gonna waste a drop on your worthless daughter. She's already a walking waste of sperm so she don't need no more of a taste! MATTHEWS I tell ya, you are walking a tight line right now... MR. DICK I ain't walkin' nothing but the road to immortality, faggot! I told ya'll I was gonna get my revenge and I am. I told ya'll I was gonna make history and I will. I told ya'll Krista's kids were her one weakness and by god ya'll gonna find out I was right about that too. See, I'm so confident about what's gonna go down in Miami, I'm gonna go ahead and walk you through it a week early. What's gonna happen is the same that always happens. Krista's gonna come out and she's gonna make a scene outta herself. She'll be dancing and prancing and all that. Only this time, she's gonna turn around while she be rubbing her coochie up and down on somebody and she's gonna see her little daughter standing there with her mouth wide open wondering why no man ain't ever gonna treat her like that, yet when those legs creak open they're queued around the block to clean out those cobwebs out from her momma's MILF cooch! That's when Krista takes her eye off the Dick... and BAM! We take her out. Then, all we gotta deal with is the weak link. Tell 'em what you're gonna do to the fat kid! Tell 'em! MALAYSIA I'm gonna stomp her... I'm gonna slap her... I'm gonna CHOKE her. MR. DICK Then what? THEN WHAT!? MALAYSIA Then, when she's down on the mat, I'm going take my boot... and I'm going to press it down across her throat, compressing her windpipe until her breathing begins to slow. Forgetting all about their interview, Mr. Dick and Malaysia lock eyes, their lips inches away from each other. MR. DICK Oh yeah! Keep going baby, keep going! MALAYSIA Her eyes will bulge... her skin, reddening... panic causing her to squirm and struggle under my foot... her blood, running cold... Just before the two lunge into each other's mouths, Mr. Dick wheels away from the panting Malaysia and snatches the microphone from Josh. MR. DICK And that's when I turn around and kick Krista's teeth right down her stinkin' throat!! She's gonna watch her daughter get TORTURED and then, just when she thinks it can't get any worse, Mr. Dick's gonna do exactly what he said he was gonna do... he's gonna take Krista Isadora Duncan and he's gonna make her SUBMIT!! If I gotta break an ankle, snap a leg, seperate a shoulder, it doesn't matter! She will submit to Mr. Dick! She will submit for the first time in her career! I'm not gonna stop until I make her tap. You know why? You know what's gonna keep me going, even with a human life precarious in my hands!? Every scream comin' outta Krista's mouth. Every bone cracking under her skin. Every tortured slap of that hand against that mat, begging for the pain to stop. Because I know that's gonna get Malaysia off and she's gonna turn into an insatiable animal the moment we get through those curtains!! Miami ain't never gonna be the same, Krista ain't never gonna be the same and even Mr. Dick might not be the same by the time me and Malaysia are finished! Cause this bitch gets extra-freaky on Halloween. And after I make history in the ring, we're gonna go back to the hotel for a LONG game of Trick... or Dick!! The amped up Mr. Dick and Malaysia head off arm in arm, possibly for a pre-Halloween warm-up game, leaving behind a very creeped out Josh Matthews. COACH I tell you one thing Michael, she ain't gonna be bobbing for apples. COLE ...we'll be right back. HALLOWEEN SPECTACULAR 1st time EVER, MOTHER AND DAUGHTER TEAM UP! KRISTA ISADORAN DUNCAN AND 2ND GENERATION SUPERSTAR JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN VS MISTER DICK AND MALAYSIA OCTOBER 31st COMMERCIAL

"YEOW!" "Money Talks" by AC/DC cranks up and THE ENTERPRISE, minus the Beverly Hills Blonds and the ladies, head to the ring dressed in their Sunday best. COLE Perhaps the odds on favorites to win tonight’s stables battle royal with all members entered, the Enterprise could be cashing in big the next two weeks, Coach. COACH And it could be a long two weeks for the In Crowd, Mikey. With all those huge egos in one group it's only a matter of time before they start blaming each other for their woes. I bet Zack's ready to throw everybody under the bus like he always does. Forget Terrell Owens. Zack Malibu is the real team obliterator! COLE Christian Wright and V.I.C.E. by his side, Theodore stands tall and full of pride with a hearty smile on his billion dollar face and a very clever IV Pennington/Holden pin on his lapel. THEODORE Here in the home of democracy, I'd like to send out a message that goes straight to the home of Anti-American, immorality. Los Angeles. Not to the entire city, overran with gang bangers and fruit selling immigrants, most of you won't live past 30 so its pointless to even address you. I'm talking to those who have a future. Those at Beverly Vista School. And I'm talking to them because I may fear Krista and her threats, but I fear a school led by Maya Duncan-Blanchard even more. "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" WRIGHT Silence! THEODORE You all see the way Krista talks to her enemies don't you? You all hear the threats she made against myself and Mister Dick? You saw how she abused poor Abdullah last week? Nearly drowned him? What's to stop her daughter from doing the same thing? If little Joey doesn't want to play floor hockey on field day, but Maya does, what's to stop her from impaling him with a goalie stick? If little Cathy wants to sit at the cool girls' table and Maya deems her uncool, what's to top Maya from teaming up with one of her friends and double powerbombing her through a table? Her mother is violence prone and so is she. For your safety and your health vote JC Pennington. "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!" THEODORE Washington, D.C., before you and the rest of the country hammer the final nail in the coffin of capitalism on November 4, the Enterprise is set to drive the stake into the hearts of the other small stable operators here in the OAOAST starting tonight with the battle royal where the final two participants will square off at the Halloween Spectacular to determine the #1 contender to the World Title. And I assure you the last men standing will come from my Enterprise. In addition to having the most entries, Mr. Wright and Ms. DeCenzo have concocted a winning strategy that guarantees the Enterprise both slots in the contenders bout next week. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE If they're so smart, maybe after the show Christian Wright and Mackenzie DeCenzo can visit the U.S. capital and fix our economy. COACH And help the little people? No way. THEODORE Oh, and what great pleasure I'll have when the heads of our competitors bow at my feet and kiss the ring of the only true messiah in the OAOAST! Because what I have sought for months is now within reach, that is for the Enterprise to be recognized as the premier organization. No longer will Zack Malibu be viewed as the franchise. That honor will belong to me. No longer will the In Crowd, Cucaracha Internacional and Deadly Alliance be mentioned in the same breath as the Enterprise. And no longer will those organizations dominate the main event scene. It'll be straight back down to the bottom rung of the ladder for all of them! BWAHAHA! COLE Oh, my God, Mikey! Imagine Zack Malibu curtain jerking AngleMania! THEODORE Now then, looking ahead to next week's Fatal 4 Way at the Halloween Spectacular for the One & Only World tag team championship. We now know joining Deadly Alliance members Reject and Thunderkid in that match will be James Blonde and Faqu representing Cucaracha Internacional and Sly Sommers and Zack Malibu likewise for the In Crowd. "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Wright and Moneymaker shake their heads in disgust. V.I.C.E., meanwhile, are ready to crack some heads. Detective Tango Bosley in particular, eyes and veins on neck bulging! "WE WANT ZACK!" "WE WANT ZACK!" "WE WANT ZACK!" THEODORE Believe me, after last week I want Zack too. But I don't expect to have that opportunity tonight because I'm afraid he'd eliminate himself rather than face me like a man being the coward that he is. BWAHAHA! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH (laughs) How true is that, Cole? That's such a Zack thing to do. COLE It is not and you know it. THEODORE It's for that reason I have decided not to be one of the Enterprise's representatives next week. "BULL-SHIT!" "BULL-SHIT!" "BULL-SHIT!" THEODORE Direct your anger at Zack Malibu, ladies and gentlemen. If I thought we could have the match without Zack running around like a chicken to avoid facing me I would participate, but with your interests in mind I felt that was not possible. This bout has the potential to be an all-time classic and I do not wish to jeopardize that. COLE And Theodore Moneymaker says Zack Malibu is the coward? Give me a break. THEODORE That said, allow me to introduce to you the men that I know will proudly represent the Enterprise next week at the Halloween Spectacular... If you are what you say you are A superstar Then have no fear The camera's here and the microphones and they wanna know Oh oh oh yeah" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHBOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" THEODORE "Superstar" by Lupe Fiasco plays, as Molly Nerdly films Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard, THE BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS, scroll down the aisle to a mixed reaction in jean shorts and matching silver vests. COLE No surprise here. Well, maybe just the vocal minority of Blonds supporters. A microphone is produced and people talk! SIMON Teddy, it'll be an honor to represent the Enterprise at the Halloween Spectacular. Ned and I been waiting patiently for another shot at the title we've held on 3 separate occasions, the second most in OAOAST history. With 3 other tough teams involved we can't guarantee a win, but we can promise you that we'll do everything and anything it takes to walk out with those belts once again around our waists. NED I can tell by the way you're looking at us you aren't too pleased we didn't dress up for the occasion, but hell, son, Simon and I were too damn excited about the opportunity we're presented with to have read the damn text message you sent. THEODORE So you got the text? SIMON We got it, Teddy. But we didn't need to read what we knew all along, that you’d choose the hottest tag team in sports entertainment to represent the Enterprise in the 4 way. NED I've been in a threesome before, but I ain't never been in no 4 way -- not that I recall, but that would the booze's fault -- so it'll be a first for the Handsome Hustler! THEODORE BWAHA! Oh, God, you guys are too much. Really you are. I thought dumb blonds were a stereotype, but here you prove it right because had you read the text you could've spared yourself the humiliation of learning on worldwide television you were NOT selected to represent the Enterprise. SIMON/NED COLE You gotta be kidding me. COACH What a shocker this is, Cole. THEODORE You blew TWO title shots in August. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Did you really expect I'd give you the chance to blow a third? You didn't even think you could win "with 3 other tough teams involved." We're this close from achieving our goal and I'll be damned if you two are gonna ruin it. SIMON Wait a minute, Teddy. I think... THEODORE I don't pay you to think. I pay you to win matches and championships, which you've both done a piss poor job doing the past year. You're lucky I haven't fired your asses for basically stealing my money in that time. The least you can do right now is join me in welcoming the team who signed a lucrative licensing agreement with the Enterprise to represent us at the Halloween Spectacular. Led by Holly Mann, COLONEL ABDULLAH NERDLY in association with the Enterprise presents the only rock n' wrestling band that matters… THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~! HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Decked out in all leather, the Heavenly Rockers make their way ringside. Abdullah wearing a cowboy hat on top of his Arabic headdress. COACH DAYUM~! COLE What a slap in the face this is, to go with the Blonds' hated rivals. Moneymaker and company exchange handshakes with the Heavenly Rockers, except the BHB who are in a state of shock. ABDULLAH Brother Moneymaker, I thank you on behalf of the Heavenly Rockers for this tremendous opportunity you have blessed us with. And unlike dumb and dumber over there, Synth and Logan know they will leave the Halloween Spectacular with a big treat! LOGAN We're gonna indulge our sweet tooth with the World tag team title sayeth the Macho MACHO Mann~! SYNTH What he said, bitches! BOSLEY Ha-ha! Yeah! What he said, bitches! I love it. I fucking love these guys! When I roll into the club tonight, I'm rollin with you dudes, because you are awesome! MOLLY Surely this can not be true! Even if Ned and Simon have disappointed you as you say, they've being loyal members of your organization. I don't believe denying them of their dream is any proper way to treat them. Its terribly rude! WRIGHT Rudeness matters not! Loyalty matters not! Years of services matters not! Countless failures matter most, and I lament to speak these words, but your charges have those in spades. With tired performances and questionable work ethics they eroded the once vibrant soil of The Enterprise and have overridden our land with the weeds of failure. To endure their continued bastardization of The Enterprise name at such crucial junctures is an option not to be so swiftly taken. Mind your mouth, little girl, for it speaks only in the dullard tones of ignorance. BOSLEY Ha-ha! That's right, baby! You don't take crap from a female! It ain't the Alpha way, baby. MOLLY I will not be silenced by anything you have to say. I happen to know Ned and Simon's work ethic and talent goes far and above anyone standing within this ring and anyone watching on the monitors backstage. You must believe me! LOGAN Hey, hey, kid. This is a business, man, and we're gonna handle our business, damn! There's no hard feelings, Blonds. At least I hope not. Mister Moneymaker realizes what's good in the OAOAST, and what's bad in the OAOAST. I'm not gonna name names, because I don't name drop, but frankly the best tag team going in this company includes the words Heavenly and Rockers. Ned, and Simon, you can't help that the sport has passed you by. It happens to all the greats. Just accept it. HOLLY I wouldn't call either of you two great, though. LOGAN True, true. Ned, Simon, you have to start thinking about life after the OAOAST. Simon, maybe you'd like a role as a judge on the next season of Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Wrestling. Molly, you're in grad school, when you get out maybe you can be the camera girl or even better get coffee for the Hulkster! Ned, I don't know what you're gonna do, and I don't care all that much. But your ex is famous, she's a busy woman, I'm bet she needs someone to fetch her dry cleaning, get her car washed, all that stuff you're qualified to do, Ned. You've been such a great slave for Mister Moneymaker, you have all the credentials to be Krista's personal assistant. HOLLY But its too bad you don't have the credentials to be 4 time tag team champions like we do. THEODORE Molly steps up to Holly ready to fight, ending my dream tag team of Holly and Molly, the Olly girls! MOLLY Now that is enough! THEODORE Indeed it is! Logan, Synth, Holly, Abdullah, come let us toast to your record tying fourth tag team championship! "Money Talks" cues once again to end the segment the Enterprise leave the BHB alone in the corner to hang with the Heavenly Rockers. COLE As if the Halloween Spectacular couldn't get any better, what a match it should be for the One & Only World tag team championship. And what a bombshell Theodore Moneymaker just dropped. The Heavenly Rockers will represent the Enterprise after signing a lucrative licensing agreement with the group. COACH Teddy once again proves why he's one of the best businessman in the world, Cole. COLE For his dreams to become reality the Enterprise must first win the stables battle royal later tonight. The camera cuts to the OAOAST HeldDOWN~! interview area where Josh Matthews is standing by with Brickston and Vitamin X. The crowd boos loudly. Brickston is a little antsy, while Vitamin X stands behind Brickston, smiling evilly. JOSH MATTHEWS Brickston, in just 8 days, you will compete in a 5-Man Prism Elimination Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. In that match, you will take on Tha Puerto Rican once again, Alfdogg, who you lost to last week, and two men who you have never fought before in Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix and Bohemoth. What are your thoughts heading into this, one of the most important matches of your career? VITAMIN X Josh, my client couldn’t be more excited! It’s almost here. 8 more days until Brickston captures his first ever One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship! And 8 more days until I stake my claim as the greatest manager in the history of professional wrestling! I went from a wrestler to the manager of the World Heavyweight Champion in only four months. Surely, that is the fastest turnaround in the history of professional wrestling? Is it not? J.MATH Uh… I guess? VITAMIN X Whatever. Anyway, the point is, my client, Brickston, has never been more prepared. People thought that he was prepared when he stepped into the ring and fought Tha Puerto Rican for 60 minutes straight at AngleSlam? Well, they are about to be in for a surprise! My client has studied the tapes, studied the moves, studied the minds of all four of his opponents next Friday night. He knows EVERYTHING about Bohemoth, EVERYTHING about Alfdogg, EVERYTHING about Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix, and…well…he already knew EVERYTHING about Tha Puerto Rican! Which is why his victory is not a possibility, but a foregone conclusion! Next Friday night in my hometown of Miami, Florida, Brickston will do me proud by defeating four of the greatest superstars in professional wrestling today, and wrap the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt around his waist, like he SHOULD have done two months ago! I’ve said it before, but I mean it this time: next Friday night IS Brickston’s night! The 5-Man Prism Elimination Match is HIS for the taking! And I will be even MORE proud to manage Brickston as he reigns over the One And Only AngleSault Thread as the World Heavyweight Champion! BRICKSTON Alfdogg thinks that I am a joke? Landon thinks that I lack charisma? Well, I might not have a thousand and one catchphrases, nor an entrance with a ton of flashy pyro and an expensive robe, nor do I have a hooker following me everywhere I go. But what I DO have is all you need in the sport of professional wrestling: TALENT. Not to mention, THE SINGLE MOST INTELLIGENT MIND IN THE SPORT, VITAMIN X, GUIDING ME ALONG THE WAY! Vitamin X blushes at this. He nods his head and says, “Thank you.” The crowd boos. BRICKSTON I don’t need none of the pomp and circumstances. I just need my talent. And my talent will be in full force next Friday night! I will step into the ring and I will NOT fail. Bohemoth, Alfdogg, Landon, PRL, one, two, three, or all FOUR of you will have your ankles snapped by me next Friday night! In fact, I kinda hope that I am the one that eliminates each of you, so that I can hear all four of you scream as I break your ankles with my Anklelock! I might have had a slight misstep at AngleSlam, but that’s ALL it was, a misstep. Everything is back to normal, and everything will be the way it SHOULD be by November 1st. With Vitamin X by my side, I can do no wrong. My four opponents will CRUMBLE at my feet! And it’s appropriate that the match takes place on Halloween, because I will make those four men FEAR ME! For I am the Ultimate Submission Specialist! For I am the World’s Most Dangerous Athlete. And for I am YOUR next One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion! Alfdogg, Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix, Bohemoth, Tha Puerto Rican, clench those fists, because it’s Fists Of Fury Time! Brickston stares into the camera. Vitamin X stands behind him smiling and nodding his head. The crowd boos loudly. VITAMIN X THAT’S RIGHT! YEAH BABY! YEAH! BRICKSTON Let’s go. VITAMIN X YEAH! Vitamin X applauds Brickston. Brickston glances over at Josh Matthews, and then walks away, a serious look on his face. Vitamin X glances over at Josh Matthews, and then follows Brickston, smiling evilly and applauding him along the way. Josh Matthews watches Vitamin X and Brickston walk away. The crowd boos loudly. FADE OUT HALLOWEEN SPECTACULAR FATAL 4 WAY TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH The Heavenly Rockers vs. James Blonde & Faqu vs. Zack Malibu & Sly Sommers vs. Reject & Thunderkid ©

Maroon 5's Makes Me Wonder (I still think that should be changed to Love Lockdown or at the least Whatever You Like) brings its Top 40 style to the nation's capital, and the audience out of their seats! The entrance doors slide away, allowing the much adored team of D*LUX to appear on stage. Both dressed to wrestle, the favorite team of teenage girls everywhere pumps up the crowd into further frenzy. With the crowd rooting his team on, Tyler thumbs his hands against a set of D*LUX action figures. They give each other a fist pump before heading towards the squared circle. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen....D*LUX! COLE D*LUX's good friend Leon Rodez with a chance to fight for a chance to fight for the world title later on tonight in our mainevent. That was not one of my better sentences. But, you understand what I meant there. Its a big match, and it gives their good friend Leon Rodez a chance of a lifetime. A chance to move onto November Reign to face Tha Puerto Rican for the OAOAST world title! COACH Or Landon Maddix. Or Alfdogg. Or Brickston. Or Da Coach, you ain’t never know when DA KING is gonna raise up and buck shots at ol boy. D*LUX make their way down the entrance ramp, performing the difficult task of slapping hands while trying to avoid fans that are just a bit too touchy feely. Finally they slide into the ring and exchange high fives, then pass on nods to the cheering audience. A microphone is produced for both men and they begin what may very well be their first in ring promo in a loooooooong ass time. TYLER We don't like to insult our fellow athletes that much. But we have to pose this question. What type of fools are Los Conquestiadors? Showtime and I thought we dealt with them last week in Puerto Rico. I guessed, and Shayne guessed that'd be the last we heard from those two clowns. But then we got a hold of this video from OAOAST.com. Take a look. FROM OAOAST.COM CONNECTING THE OAOAST MARKS™ TO THE OAOAST SUPERSTARS We see Los Conquesitadors sitting inside a room lit only be the orange glow of a makeshift camp fire. Dos and Uno are hidden inside the spooky shadows, looking more intimidating than ever before. Not that that says a whole lot, but work with me, plz. DOS What is behind our sudden change for the better? Months ago we were sent to Hati on a promotional tour for this company. Haiti is a country where the impoverished make due with eating mud pies, and the wealthy make due with making the impoverished eat bullets from their guns. We accurately surmised that this company was attempting to kill us. They sent us to Haiti to die! They didn’t want our promotional talents, they wanted our blood to fill the waters of Haiti. But we didn’t die. We became stronger than ever before! We had to fend for ourselves and fight our way back to the USA. This meant we had to arm ourselves with the most dangerous weapons of all. The human mind. In Haiti we learned of rich voodoo traditions. These are traditions that have brought down many emperors and world leaders. The black arts. Black magic. These are the kinds of things you might dismiss, but that we have come to recognize as the power of the unholy mother. We learned from the masters and we survived. Since then we have been studying societies of wicked deeds and opprobrious transgressions. The tables have turned now. Understand, the hunted have become the hunters and the power is in our hands. You will all perish for what you’ve done to us and the laughter you’ve had at our expense. UNO More will be revealed in the weeks to come. For now you should know there will be a human sacrifice on HeldDOWN. OAOAST.com COACH Nothin wrong practicing a little pagan religion. And bravo to their english skills. They don't even sound like they got an accent anymore! COLE I doubt they were even Mexican to begin with. SHAYNE Uno, Dos, we don’t know who you’re fooling, but if you’re masters of black magic, then we’re the masters of the universe! We don’t care if you wanna act like some kind of voodoo obsessed freaks, that’s your problem. But our fans, don’t really need to see you jamming needles and pins into dolls of us. Showtime holds up the "action pack" D*LUX toys. SHAYNE Do you see these dolls? TYLER I kind of like the term action figurine. SHAYNE These are for playing with on the interactive OAOAST action play sets, and lifelike ring, available at Toys R Us and OAOASTShop. They aren’t for puncturing holes in so our awesome fans can send us messages wondering if the devil’s consumed our souls. You’re freaking our fans out with your stunts and that isn’t cool. So we’re asking you to cut the junk out! But, we bet you won’t. TYLER If Krista has taught us one thing, its that she looks great in red. SHAYNE Really great in red. Really, really great in red. Like a Pamela Anderson from Baywatch. With nicer lips I think. TYLER And she’s also taught us if you got a problem with someone the best way to deal with it is to get right up in their face. If that doesn’t work then you’ve got to get your fists right up in their face! How about it? Its only gotta be one of you facing one of us? What do you say? The surreal dance ballad of Fedde Le Grands's answers the challenge of the greatest tag team to come out of Michigan. The entrance stage fills with gold smoke that's penetrated by piercing beams of purple light. Into this smokey and heavily illuminated scene emerges Dos, attired in a feather filled voodoo headdress. He drops to his knees becoming entirely shrouded inside the overwhelming orange smoke and offers a chant to his strange and mysterious gods. COACH Mikey, do you think one of D*LUX could be the human sacrifice Uno was talking about? COLE I know you're only buying into this to annoy me. Even you could not be so stupid as to believe Los Conquestiadors were sent to Haiti to die and came back as students of black magic. Dos ventures down the ring ramp, with his mouth still spewing his voodoo prayers to the mother of destiny. The audience as well as D*LUX is unimpressed as they both over him a thumbs down for his shenanigans. As he enters the ring, Shayne decides to face him down, and Tyler takes up position on the outside. *DING DING DING* Dos’ charges across the ring, full of vigor and fire. But Showtime is able to meet him by overtaking him with a hip toss. The luchadore crashes into the canvas, shaking the ring and exciting nation’s capital. As Dos cringes with the agony tearing his body into two, the teenybopper bounces off the ropes. He leaps into the sky with his elbow crooked. However, Dos slides out the way and the cutie from Detroit is left to crash into the canvas. While the fans recoil in horror, Dos begins a low rumbling chant. Annoyed with Dos’ continued black magic antics, Shayne puts on an outraged face and charges his foe. But the forearm he throws falls unusually and mysteriously short of the golden attired brawler. Giving Showtime little chance to wonder what gives with his errant strikes, Dos peppers his face with a series of closed fist. COLE Before you even start, Dos has no voodoo powers. None! Hitting someone in the face does not equate to black magic mastery. If it did Mike Tyson would be the lord and rule of the underworld. Dos’ punches cast a cloud of dizziness over his foe, and its because of this that he’s able to dart towards the ropes. But as Dos returns, the cloud seems to have lifted and Showtime springs upwards for a leapfrog. However the luchadore catches him in midair and drives him downwards with a devastating inverted atomic drop. The screams of anguish from Brave are long and drown out, and the females in attendance are beside themselves with misery. COACH The sexual fantasy of millions of high school girls just got torched. Expect a record number of absences at girl’s schools across the country. As Showtime continues struggle with the horrific anguish inflicted upon him, his foe utters more deranged chants in a strange foreign tongue. Once finished with his odd utterances, Dos springs towards Showtime and upends him with a hurricanrana. Senior referee Clem Buzzlefoxer drops to his knees for the count. ONE! TWO! Shayne lifts his shoulders off the canvas, giving the sold out DC audience much to cheer about. Frustrated with the slow count Dos lets out another deep foreboding voodoo chant. His words seem to work their black magic, as Clem immediately clutches his heart and gasps what’s almost his final breath. Fortunately, Dos spares Clem from having the nation’s capital being his final resting place. COLE Clem is 86 years old. That’s not even the heart he was born with. That’s not even the heart he had when he 66. That’s a carborator from a 65 Chevy. Meanwhile in the ring, both competitors have risen to their feet. But, Dos continues his surprising flurry of offense by peppering Shayne’s lean midsection with knee strikes. The attacks sink Brave to his knees and leaving him hacking and wheezing like a chain smoker. Dos takes advantage of his weakness by snaking his arms across Shayne’s neck in a front facelock. As the boyband hunk tries to break free of the hold, the luchadore guides him back upright. He hooks onto his right leg and in one swift motion throws him over with a release fisherman’s suplex. Brave comes down on the mat with a thud, and his hand goes right to a now sore and wounded back. “LET’S GO SHAYNE! LET’S GO SHAYNE! LET’S GO SHAYNE!” the fans chant led on by Tyler. Latching onto Shayne’s silky hair, Dos drags his rival off the ring mat. Brave fights back with elbows to Dos’ face, drawing a sizable pop from the audience. But their joy is short lived, as Showtime is thrown back to the canvas by side belly to belly suplex. Mere seconds after he crashes downwards, Shayne is covered by the voodoo practiconer. Buzzlefoxer counts the fall… ONE! TWO ! Shayne again kicks out, which let’s his partner on the outside breathe a little easier. COLE You wonder if Leon Rodez is watching this match or if he’s busy watching footage to prepare for the big battle royal in tonight’s mainevent? COACH The hell kind of question is that? Dos could cast a spell that has Shayne’s eyes jump out they sockets and dance the Macarena and that dude Rodez would only be worrying if Shayne’s lack of eyes mean he can’t comment on whether his new finglerless gloves make him look gay. Tru story. “LET’S GO SHAYNE! LET’S GO SHAYNE! LET’S GO SHAYNE!” Drawing on the cheers and support of his fanbase, Brave is able to slowly make his way towards his feet. But now upright he’s hammered by a wave of knife-edge chops from the voodoo student. Rather than go into the usual “whoo”ing the audience continues to sing Brave’s name and will him to fight. Their chants work as the Michigan native begins assailing his adversary with a painful mixture of chops and kicks. He weaknes Dos enough to attempt to irish whip him towards the ropes. But Dos reverses the hold and sends Brave into the cables. Showtime bounces back intending on running through his rival with a leaping lariat. But before he can even leave the ground, Dos catches him with a spinning knee lift that hurls Shayne back to the mat. Showtime lands with his hands coming over his wounded face, and Dos celebrating behind him. Once done lauding his own accomplishments, Dos covers Shayne for another fall… ONE! TWO! But, Shayne wills himself out the pinning situation. And the OAOAST Marks™ celebrate with glee. Less gleeful is Dos, and he casts a vile glare at the fearful referee. While Clem apologizes to avoid being turned into a sheep, Dos guides Shayne off the mats. He keeps him weakened with a pair of elbows to the midsection and then hurls him into the far corner. Showtime’s back hits hard against the ring posts. But that’s the least of his worries as Dos comes darting in on him only mere seconds later. Fortunately, the teen idol is able to meet Dos’ arrival with the KIDology (codebreaker) “YEAAAAA!” screams the audience as Tyler pumps his fists in jubilation. COLE Shayne Brave more than happy to take a page out of Krista’s book! For reasons that only make sense in the strange world of pro wrestling the move done by a one hundred eighty pound man has less effect than when done by a one hundred fifty pound woman, thus Dos quickly rolls to his feet with a lariat aimed at Showtime’s head. But the Tiger Beat hottie ducks beneath the attack and leaps onto the second rope. As Dos turns around he’s met with a springboard lariat! “Its Showtime, baby!” Shayne shouts to the roaring audience. Dos has no clue what Showtime involves but has little desire to witness it. Thus he stands in the corner chanting furiously. This proves to be a big mistake as Showtime nearly crushes him into dust with a stinger splash! As the audience continues to cheer, Dos goes staggering out the corner. He fails to notice his foe making a quick move to the top rope. This is too his infinite discredit as Shayne dismounts his perch to flatten him with a flying clothesline! COLE Santeria couldn’t save ya from that one, could it Dos? Santeria being an Afro-Cuban form of voodoo as well as a very good song by the band Sublime. Wishing he had more hands to tend to his numerous injured body parts, Dos scrapes his carcass off the canvas. Shayne gathers a head off steam on the ropes then surges forward to try and capture him with his signature running bulldog. But Dos finds the strength needed to counter this hold simply by shoving the former six man champion away. Shayen is unrelenting, however, and charges back at his foe. But the Mexican/New Mexican/Haitian/whatever the hell he is this year, greets him with a spinning back kick. But, Showtime catches onto his boot and sends him spinning round and round until he comes into the Shaynedrop! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” COLE There’s his Shaynedrop! There’s his…what the??? That sudden exclamation of shock comes due in massive part to the cloud of red smoke that suddenly surrounds the ring. The audience is suitably disturbed by the strange sight, and Tyler himself is rather unnerved, needing to escape into the ring. COACH The human sacrifice is now! The gates of hell have opened! Doom has arrived into the OAOAST! Repent ye sinners! Repent! Cole, I want to to know I’ve always sort of not hated you as much as I say I do. COLE Thank you. COACH And I once used ya toothbrush to polish my ben-wa balls. COLE I once used your tongue to polish my scrotum balls. Distracting us from that awful revelation is Uno, clad in full feathered Voodoo headdress, lowering himself from the ceiling. As the lights cycle through menacing purples and blues, Uno quickly rappels towards Brave. Both Showtime and the audience are mystified by the unusual trickery of Uno. But its only Shayne who has to wonder about being kidnapped as the baddest hombre on the planet wraps his legs around his neck. With a shockingly firm grip around Showtime’s body, Uno begins to rise back into the rafters. The fans are aghast with fear and alarm as Shayne struggles in vain to be of this grizzly crime. COACH He’s gonna sacrafice Shayne! Yo, if he’s successful and Shayne up and dies you think I might get one of them dope jean jackets he be rockin? Shits is fly! COLE Be serious! He’s not going to sacrifice him but this is still dangerous. And stupid. Stupidly Dangerous. Dangerously stupid. Tyler finally springs into action and leaps onto Shayne’s legs! There’s a monumental battle between Uno and The Tremendous one as they each stake their claim on Tyler’s soul. The audience sits on the edge of their seat watching the incredibly unusual sight of three grown men flying across a ring encased by smoke and highlighted by purple and blue lights. Uno barks orders to Tyler to release Shayne, and Tyler returns similar commands. Their bodies chaotically travel through the squared circle, sometimes appearing as they may burst right through the ropes and head into the stands. Eventually the strength of Tyler wins out and he rips his partner and best friend free of the treacherous voodoo follower. Together they scurry free of the ring, through the thick waves of smoke and back towards the entrance ramp. Along with a mystified audience they watch Uno hover in the air, shaking his fist and promising to complete his sacrifice. COACH How many points do I lose in OAOAST Fantasy for a failed human sacrifice? COLE You’re complaining about lost points? I made a trade with Melody, sending her no less than Zack, Krista, Sandman and Moneymaker for The Sooner Bruisers and Cuban Wall. I’m ruined! I'm ruined! WHYYYYYYYYY? WHYYYYYYY? WHYYYYYYY? COACH Melody about to score some fantasy points with that Sandman trade 'cause J.Math is with the Deadly Alliance! The Sooner Bruisers? Nigga, you gay. Josh Matthews is backstage with the Deadly Alliance. JOSH OK, here with the Deadly Alliance, and Halloween a big night for the four of you, especially for you, Alfdogg, as you get another shot at Tha Puerto Rican's World title! ALF You know, Josh, I have to admit that was kind of clever a couple weeks ago, how those three other goofs all conspired to pin me in that Fatal 4-Way in attempt to push me out of the title picture. Unfortunately for those three, as well as PRL, I'm still going strong. The Deadly Alliance is still going strong. I showed Brickston last week what I'm capable of, and I'm gonna show 'em all next week, as I take my third OAOAST World title. JOSH And a big title defense for Thunderkid and Reject next week, as well. TK It's a big title defense, Josh, but it will be yet another successful one, as the Deadly Alliance continues to establish its dominance over all the other stables. Melissa pulls the mic over to her. MELISSA And let's see one of those other "women" stick their nose in the match, I might have to establish my dominance over one of them! Josh yanks the mic back as she finishes her sentence. REJECT Hey, little man! You better show some respect! JOSH You're a fine one to talk about respect towards women. REJECT You better watch your mouth. I still remember that cheap shot you took at me a couple months back. But that's OK...you're not the first announcer to go after my private parts. *crowd boos* JOSH I don't believe that about Maggie for a minute. REJECT Believe what you want, little man, but we all know the truth. Besides, I'm so over Maggie now. SANDMAN Yeah, she gave lousy head, anyways. REJECT ... TK JOSH OK, so...Alf, how's the search on that fifth DA member coming along? ALF We're taking our time, Josh...we've always got our eyes open on that ring, looking for the guy who has the right stuff to be a member of the Deadly Alliance. Trust me, you won't be disappointed. JOSH Well, that's it from back here, let's go back to the ring! FUCK YOU JOSH! I DIRECT THIS SHOW! HALLOWEEN SPECTACULAR OAOAST WORLD TITLE 5 MAN PRISM MATCH PRL VS LANDON MADDIX VS BOHEMOTH VS BRICKSTON VS ALFDOGG OCTOBER 31srt COMMERCIAL

-The scene fades in from that AWESOME last segment to the office of none other than OAOAST President JOSIE BAKER!~! The fans erupt as Josie paces through the office, her ever burning cigarette clutched in her right hand, and a cell-phone held to her ear in her left. Following close behind her is Sophie Grey, clutching at her clipboard. JOSIE ...Austin? Are you done?....A...Are you...Fuck.... -Josie lowers the phone and stares off into space for a few moments before raising the phone back to her ear. JOSIE ...Ya done now?....Good. Now let ME, YOUR boss, tell YOU what's happening. You and Mickey Gillpatrick were supposed to have your hardcore match at Zero Hour, correct?...But since you are both just SO eager to fight, you had to get yourselves arrested for assault. Now, you've lucked out, as Gillpatrick's work visa expired and he had to go back to Ireland, but believe me...You WILL be wrestling at the Halloween Spectacular, comprenez-vous? -The fans go insane! Sophie's eyes go wide, just before she jots something down on the clipboard. JOSIE ...And if you even THINK about fighting ANYONE before your match?...You're fired. Simple as that....Yeah, bye. -Josie shuts the phone and turns towards Sophie, who simply shrugs. Josie shakes her head and raises her hand. JOSIE Don't even start, Sophie...I don't wanna hear it from you... -Suddenly, the door swings open, and in walks the OAOAST Intercontinental Champion, JEREME GREY!! The cheers are off the charts as Jereme slings the title belt over his shoulder. He smiles at his sister and his cousin, who just storms straight up to him. JOSIE Oh Good! The CHAMP is here! Thank FUCKING God! -Jereme glances over to Sophie, who just shakes her head. He looks back to Josie, who takes a small drag off her cigarette. JEREME Is there a probléme, Josie? JOSIE Of course there's a fucking problem, Jereme! Where the hell have you been?! You haven't shown your face in going on three weeks! JEREME I was... JOSIE I fucking vouched for you! How do you think it makes me look when my #1 guy is not only fucking ONLY defending his title against ONE guy, but after the title defense, he takes a FUCKING MONTH off! Are you serious?! Jesus CHRIST, Jereme! JEREME ...Wait...aren't you the President of the company? JOSIE Of course I am. JEREME ...Then why would you need to vouch for me? -Josie takes another drag off her cigarette and shakes her head. JOSIE To the board. Anyway, this is what's happening: YOU are defending your title at the Halloween Spectacular against... -Josie smirks and takes another drag off her cigarette. She blows the smoke out the corner of her mouth. JOSIE ...well, you'll find out then, won't you? -Jereme cracks his neck slightly and sneers. Josie just stares at him. JOSIE ...Oh...we're done here. -Jereme glares at Sophie, who simply shrugs. JOSIE ...Go. -Jereme shakes his head and walks away. Josie turns and smirks at Sophie, who shakes her head. SOPHIE ...Not cool, Josie. JOSIE Shut up. -The screen fades to black... COMMERCIAL