Patty O'Green

This is from San Juan, PR. Why there just may be someone on the roster from that very commonwealth. Yes there just might be. We gonna do it real righteous this week ya dig? We gonna make it hot round these parts, b, flash like we was in the justice leauge. The show will be held at the Encanto Beach Bar at El San Juan Hotel The newly opened, 130-seat beach club, the vision of interior designer Stephane Dupoux (mastermind behind London's Buddha Bar) is the largest surf-side bar in San Juan. The open-air lounge consists of 24 beds for chilling out and three cabanas for private parties, as well as a swim-up bar and an outdoor shower.-Forbes.com In order to get anything posted on this show you have to answer this simple question... Would you tap this ass? simple question, my beauties.

Was that the one where the entrance ramp like crossed over a swimming pool or something. Or did I halluciante that? And what does it say about me if I hallucinate about World Championship Wrestling. More like World ChampionSHIT Wrestling, riteon wwf pals????

obv. we need to have a buried alive match now. Which we've never actually had in the OAOAST. That's a lil shocking actually, I figured someone would try either that or a casket match once. Send everything to Tony!!!

Ay yo first off suck a dick, b, no homo. second off fuck from round here with that extra punctuation, b. third off I have some words, b. Now I'm a young stunna, flashy and fly. If I do a bid in San Quentin I'm doin it in a gucci jumpsuit, feel me cousin. If I do a show in front of a hotel I ain't fuckin around in a parking lot in an embassy suites. I stay caked up and I stay draped up. When I shine, you shine. This ain't no continental breakfast at a Red Roof Inn in Jefferson City. This is a beach party at the #1 rated Beach Bar (Forbes) at the finest five star hotel in San Juan. Top events charge $3,500 a head for the 130 seat, $5,000 for the 24 person bed-seat area, and $14,000 to rent out the private cabanas. Not to mention the cut of any sales at the bar. Quit hatin and get money my nigga. *puts on hater blockers on KC and encourages him to enjoy a more thugnificent lifestyle* I know you better honestly tell me if YOU WOULD TAP THAT ASS. Then I will reveal its dudeness or chickness. I'ma flat out say I'd tap that ass. No homo/hetero

Make no mistake about it, the L.W.O. is returning, the Swag Show is back. *Puts on swagtastic hater blockers* *does not see the needless vandalism of the tribute to professional sports greatest institution on the intro* *prepares to enjoy the 2008-2009 Laker season wtih epic sonnings of CP3, Snaq O'Meal, Lebroom Lames and many more* *realizes hater blockers are girls glasses* *doesn't care as is also wearing a girls shirt*

Indeed I did. At first I was like, awww no this dude alf done hacked into my photobucket account! I has been phished! Excellent, excellent DA promo. I'm looking forward to seeing Melissa and Reject in the coming weeks. Reject's been on fire as a character since the whole beef with Leon started way back during the summer and looks to keep on rollin. A Nerdly girls always means good things for one's career. Actually in the OAOAST a female valet pretty much guarantees success. Except for NRG. And we finally have another Nerdly girl who's a heel, to add to Malaysia. I don't really consider Molly a heel, because she just chills with her camera. I don't think when 149 created Marvin and Melvin he could've envisioned the Nerdly's becoming such a part of the show. I forgot to mention that DA promo from before ZH was top high quality shit. Like went beyond good wrestling, that woulda been great TV in any genre. Scorching! Poor Leon. Poor Leon. Is there no love for he who is the new age love machine? Funy bit with Alix and Jade afterwards. Real talk. USC>>>then most NFL teams. That was a very cute skit. Bo was a lot more compassionate and "let her down gently" then I thought he'd be. Molly! Yay! I really liked the segment and I like Molly and she was really good here. I gave her the personality of how I talk when I want people to be impressed by my cinematic background. Usually when I'm directing people though, I flip out and have wild tanrums and sometimes cry. Anyway, life gets better for Leon. But what must Maggie think about him not returning her call back? She ain't no hollaback girl, she ain't no hollabck girl. Fun little bit with the In Crowd/In-terprise and a great promo at the end. I figured Leon happy-go lucky dude and poon hound that he is would get cheered up from Molly throwin her art school mac on him. Plus its hard to space segments when half the show involves him or his sister in bad luc! Now, I can't get down with the diss on the golden retriever, though. @the political ad as I told tony. I hate politics so a chance to lampoon elections was not one to pass up. Couldn't find a good richie rich pic, 149. And I looked all over. Nobody gots respect for classics. Jade's day goes from bad to worse! Much, much worse. You knew it was only a matter of time before Malaysia reinserted herself in the title picture. Melody's scheme was pretty good though, girls run jealously game all the time. Rarely with twin brother's though. Guys need to run jealousy shit to, makes it seem like you have high value by showing that other women desire you. Very good ME, the boy KC put in DAT WORK. But what will happen with the world title? Intrigue abounds on OAOAST HeldDOWN!

COLE Welcome back to OAOAST HeldDOWN~!, moments away from our main-event. And I'm glad to say I'm joined here at ringside by a man with a vested interest in proceedings here, the World Heavyweight Champion Tha Puerto Rican... which of course means, Coach has ran for the hills. PRL It really must be your lucky day Michael Cole. If they suddenly announce an N*Sync reunion before midnight, I'd advise you go out and grab like 100 lottery tickets. COLE But I only get paid $65 for doing this show. PRL Yeah? When did we start with the performance related pay around here? Anybody? One-two, guys in the truck, any help? COLE Anyway, main-event, fatal four way number one contendership, the winner goes on to the Halloween Spectacular to challenge for the World Title. And we all know what happened last year! PRL A night that'll go down in history. Right alongside Hitler's first public speech, George Bush's election victory and the night Coach started this job. Or any job for that matter. *Give me fuel Give me fire Give me that which I desire!* “Fuel” by Metallica starts playing, causing the fans to rise up and boo, as Brickston marches out through the entrance. Flanked by the sharply dressed Vitamin X, Brickston cracks his neck from side to side and sizes the crowd up before beginning to head for the ring. BUFFER The following Fatal Four Way contest is set for one fall, with the winner to recieve an OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship match at this month's Halloween Spectacular! Introducing the participants. First, being led to the ring by his manager, VITAMIN X!! From Sacramento, California... he weighs two hundred and fifteen pounds... ladies and gentlemen, this is... BBRRRRRIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSSTTOOOOOOOOOONN!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Vitamin X climbs up the ring steps and holds the ropes open for Brickston to enter the ring. Brickston wipes his feet on the ring apron and then enters, raises both fists over his head and letting out a mighty roar. Just incase the point didn't get across, he then climbs to the middle turnbuckles to do it again. COLE Brickston may not have the credentials or the resumé that his three opponents have, but that doesn't tell the whole story. This guy is legitimately tough. A man who's competed in many mixed martial arts fields and served in the US military. PRL Take it from someone who knows, Brickston's got all the tools you need to be a champion. Except maybe a brain. COLE Well now he's got Vitamin X guiding him as manager, to be the brains for him. PRL Yeah, but Vitamin X is a prize idiot as well. As Brickston works up the crowd, Vitamin X leans over the ring ropes and points a finger at PRL. Whether he heard that crack or not he takes exception to the World Champion's presence anyway. "We're running with the Shadows Of The Night So baby take my hand, you'll be all right Surrender all your dreams to me tonight They'll come true in the end" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The sounds of 80s power ballad "Shadows Of The Night" sound out next, to another round of boos from the hostile Virginia crowd! Striding through the entrance, Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix sweeps his way down the aisle already making proud boasts of victory towards Vitamin X in the ring. Megan Skye follows behind her amped up man as he makes record time to the ring steps, only to stop suddenly when confronted by Brickston on the other side of the turnbuckles. BUFFER Introducing next, from Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Spain! He weighs in tonight at two hundred, eight pounds... being accompanied to the ring by his manager MEGAN SKYE and proudly representing Cucaracha Internacional. He is a former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion... LANDON... "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMMMMAAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Landon backs down the steps away from Brickston, turning angrily to the crowd at the latest chorus of boos. "Who are you gonna boo, him or me?" he confronts the fans with, pointing to Brickston. And to his annoyance, they choose both. PRL Speaking of prize idiots, I swear this guy ain't all there in the head either. COLE Well you've had your fair share of run-ins with Landon Maddix over the past couple of years as well, how would you feel about La Cucaracha challenging you on October 31st? PRL Hey, if I can't beat a guy who comes to the ring to Pat Benatar, I might as well just quit right now, know what I'm saying. COLE (harbouring a secret love of Pat Benatar) ...yeah, I... I couldn't agree more. PRL Ugh. Suddenly, out go the lights as "Magnum Opus" begins to play. The distinctive music leads out the distinguished former World Champion, bathed in a gold light as he makes his way out. Alfdogg flicks the hair from his face and slowly makes his way to the ring, sizing things up on the way. BUFFER Hailing from Anderson, Indiana! He weighs two hundred, thirty seven pounds and is the leader of The Deadly Alliance... ladies and gentlemen, the former two-time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion... AAALLLLLLLLLLFFFFFF - DDOOOOOOOOOOGGGG!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Alf also the WDW World Champion for almost three years, so make that a three-time World Champion. PRL Yeah, and Landon's held the SWF title twice, so he's a three-time World Champion too. I'm sure Buffer would have pointed that out, if either company were worth mention anymore. COLE Yeouch! Alf continues his slow walk to the ring, catching eyes with Landon for a moment from adjacent sides of the ring. The two exchange some brief words before Alf rolls into the ring. Brickston is pulled up by Vitamin X and encouraged to wait, while Alf drops to a knee and holds out his arms to ignite a wall of pyrotechnics behind him. COLE Boy, I don't think Landon was expecting that! Having jumped to a safe distance just in time, Landon covers his heart with his hand and recovers his breath... *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" ...while the crowd lose their's for the appearance of the final competitor. COLE HERE we go! BUFFER And finally, from Greenville, South Carolina! Weighing two hundred, eighty four pounds... a member of the In Crowd... "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHHEEEEEEEEEMMMMMOOOOOOOOOTTHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Fired up, Bohemoth chews up the ring steps and enters the ring, at which point Alf decides to roll on out to the floor. Bohemoth casts a look towards Brickston and Vitamin X, now safely on the apron, as he hops to the middle turnbuckles and flaunts his muscles. COLE What an ovation for Bohemoth, looking to get that one on one crack at the big one he's been waiting so long for! Bo leaps down and hits another set of turnbuckles, giving Alf but not Landon the opening to get into the ring. As he hops down again Bohemoth then gets himself psyched up. Alf lays back in a corner and holds his hands up to show he's happy to wait for the bell. As too is Landon, still out on the floor with Megan. After some last words of advice for his man Vitamin X then joins them, cheering Brickston on. Referee Mike Chioda waves for Landon to get in so the match can start, but Landon doesn't seem too eager. COLE So it's one fall to a finish here, no disqualifications and no count-outs. And as acting OAOAST President Josie Baker said last week, the winner goes on to the Halloween Spectacular to challenge you for the World Title PR. Your thoughts? PRL My thoughts are pretty simple Michael Cole. This should be fun. These four want a shot at me, I'm more than looking forward to seeing them fight each other for the right while I sit here sipping on this nicely chilled water you've got sitting under this desk here. Very nice. You don't think that sounds too cowardly do you? 'Cause I'm kinda trying to steer myself in a different direction recently, ya know? COLE I noticed that, yeah. Once Landon is finally, pensively inside the ring, Chioda calls for the bell. *DINGDINGDING!* Turning on his heels, Bo goes right after Landon but before you know it he's slipped out underneath the bottom rope. And as boos rain down on Landon, Alf and Brickston take advantage by jumping Bohemoth from behind! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Alf and Brickston hammer away on the back of the bigman, then take turns laying in right hands in the corner. All the while Landon lurks on the floor, as Brickston delivers a hard right hand. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Chop by Alf. And a right hand from Brickston. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Another chop by Alf. But as Brickston continues laying into Bo, Maddix sneaks back inside and pulls Alf away into a schoolboy... COLE Wait a minute, quick cover... 1... 2-NO! Quickly out, Alf scrambles for Maddix who again goes to the outside. This time Alf is right after him though and just when La Cucaracha thinks it's okay to point to his head and show how smart his is, Alfdogg slugs him from behind with a double axehandle! Down goes Landon, mocked by Alf, while in the ring a whip is reversed sending Brickston into a corner, where Bohemoth delivers a hard clothesline! COLE Boy the action is going to be hard to call here, as we've got a fight in the ring and a fight on the floor. PRL Well at least you don't have Coach out here dragging you down with his 'urbanisms'. COLE True dat. Bohemoth picks Brickston out of the corner, scooping him over his shoulder and running him out looking for a powerslam. Brickston slides down the back though, stomping the back of the knee. As Bo falls to the other, Brickston hits the ropes. But he gets knocked down on the rebound with a crowd-popping clothesline! Cover... 1... 2... No! On the outside, Landon is sent into the barricade by a whip from Alfdogg. Inside, Bohemoth begins to offload with right hands on Brickston. The punches back Brickston into a corner, where Bo continues to pound away before whipping Brickston across. Brickston puts a foot up to stop himself in the corner though, then throws back his elbow to catch Bo running in. COLE Good awareness there by Brickston. With Vitamin X encouraging him to "stay on him", Brickston delivers a big boot to the chest to knock Bohemoth back a couple of steps. Brickston them comes out of the corner, knocking Bo down with a big side elbow attack. Brickston stays on the attack, until Alf slides back in and stomps him in the back of the head. PRL You've gotta keep eyes in the back of your head in this kind of match, especially with guys like Alfdogg and Maddix. They'll take any opening they see. Alf clubs away at Brickston, before sending him off the ropes. Back elbow knocks Brickston, setting him up as Alfdogg comes off the ropes... and trips! Not through dumb luck, but by the hands of Landon Maddix, who drags him outside and returns fire with a whip into the barricade! MADDIX Yeah, how'd you like that old man!? COLE Old man!? PRL Well, now, let's not sugar coat it. Berating the veteran Alf, Landon climbs to the apron... and seconds later is sent flying as Bohemoth knocks him back to the floor! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!" Bohemoth then turns and manages to duck a clothesline from Brickston, scooping him as he rebounds off the ropes and drilling him with a Powerslam! Hook of the leg... 1... 2... No! Bohemoth backs Brickston up in a corner with some more right hands as referee Chioda tries in vain to get him to open up the fist. The bigman only steps when Vitamin X reaches into the ring and grabs his ankle, distracting him long enough for Brickston to deliver a knee to the ribs. Brickston then pitches Bo through the ropes and follows him out to the floor. COLE And now all four men on the floor, with no disqualifications, what a chaotic main-event here tonight on HeldDOWN! PRL This is how it needs to be. Let the best man win, so I can beat the best man later. As the brawl continues on one side between Brickston and Bohemoth, on the other Alf decides to throw Landon back in. COLE And now we've got the leader of Cucaracha Internacional and the leader of the Deadly Alliance in there. First time since their Money In The Bank Semi-Final I believe. Alf delivers a couple of forearms, then takes Landon up and down with a quick back suplex. He follows up with a legdrop off the ropes and looks for the cover... 1... 2... No! Side headlock is applied by Alf, keeping half an eye on the fight between Brickston and Bohemoth as he does so. Maddix fights his way out with some elbows and shoots Alfdogg off the ropes, but Alf is able to knock him down with a shoulder tackle coming back. Coming off the ropes, Alf delivers a second shoulder tackle as Maddix scrambles to his feet. And a third time he charges... only for Landon to cut him off with a forearm shot. It's then Landon who hits the ropes, before almost hitting the lights courtesy of a big BAAAAACK bodydrop! PRL That's never fun. Alf grabs Landon by the arm and sends him into a corner with an irish whip. After addressing the boos of the crowd with an "up yours" gesture Alf then follows in. Throwing his feet up Landon looks to block, but Alfdogg is too smart for that and catches him! Holding the ankles he pulls Landon off the turnbuckles in preparations for a powerbomb. But Landon counters with a hurricanrana, pulling Alf forward face-first into the top turnbuckle! COLE Ooh! Very innovative counter right there. PRL See Maddix has got plenty of ability, when he's not acting like a goof. Which isn't too often. With the Deadly Alliance's figurehead dazed in the corner Landon sweeps away Alf's leg to drop him onto his seat, then delivers a hard kick to the chest against the bottom turnbuckle. And a second. Before placing a boot against his throat and choking away. As this is going on, Bohemoth has Brickston up on the floor, looking for a place to drop him. Before he can do so, Vitamin X rushes over and causes a distraction, allowing Brickston to slip out the back and shove Bohemoth shoulder-first into the ringpost! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE And again Vitamin X coming to Brickston's aid, which unfortunately the referee can't do much about seeing as there's no disqualifications. PRL You know, I never liked that guy. Brickston rolls back into the ring, ambushing Landon from behind. With double axehandles he drops Landon to his knees, before taking a swing at Alfdogg as well. As Alf rolls to the apron, Brickston spins Landon around and delivers a snap suplex, for the cover... 1... 2... No! Brickston leads Landon to his feet, but gets surprised with an arm-wringer to escape his clutches, setting up an irish whip. Hitting the corner closest to Alf, Brickston is then hampered from escaping by a grab of the leg, leaving him prey to a diving forearm attack in the corner. To reward his helping hand, Alf then has Brickston thrown right at him by La Cucaracha. Hit in the stomach by Brickston's shoulder, down goes Alf, allowing Landon to school-boy the Californian... 1... 2... No! Quickly up, Brickston is caught with three quick forearms, then a straight kick to the chest. When he shrugs those off though, Landon isn't quite so attack-minded and tries to cut a deal. PRL I could think of worse ideas in this situation. Of course it still ain't gonna work, but I could think of worse. Shockingly, Brickston turns down the offer and boots Landon in the gut to earn him his first positive reaction in forever. Brickston sends Maddix off the ropes, swinging and missing with a clothesline. And a swing and a miss with the elbow as well. Storming back, Landon leaps at Brickston and lands the knees on the thighs. As he pushes off for the Thesz Plant however, Brickston gives him a little extra elevation and coverts it into a HUGE Powerslam variation!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" VITAMIN X YES! COVER, COVER!! COLE Vitamin X thinks it's over, are we gonna see Brickston back in the bigtime? Brickston does just as he's told... 1... 2... Shoulder up! PRL Nah. Not yet. It'll take more than that, trust me. Vitamin X gets on the referee's case about the count, while Brickston takes it out on Landon with some stomps. Brickston then drags Landon back up and sends him into a corner with a shove. Charging with a shoulder, Brickston then sends Landon into the opposite corner. Same again, only this time raises a knee for Brickston to clatter into. As Brickston staggers out, Landon goes to the second rope, connecting with a Front Missile Dropkick! COLE La Cucaracha with a little bit of flight. PRL Does he even know what that nickname means? COLE Well I assume it's more to emphasise that he's tough and resilient than it is to imply that he's... PRL Smelly? Dirty? Disease ridden? Cover by Landon... 1... 2... No! Quickly, Landon gets to his feet ready to follow up. As he does so Alf sneaks back into the ring though, bundling Maddix to the floor and dropping a knee on Brickston, before covering... 1... 2... No! Back in slides Landon to dump Alfdogg outside. Turning to Brickston, La Cucaracha then drives his body-weight across the chest with a double stomp, dropping out with the follow-up back senton and reaching back for a leg... 1... 2... No! COLE Brickston keeps on kicking out here, as Alfdogg and Maddix trade turns on trying to get the pin in this one fall match. Rolling in again Alfdogg marches right up to Landon and shoves him in the chest. Not taking to that kindly, Maddix shoves him right back. So Alf goes ahead and slaps him in the face! The Virginia crowd like that one and are more than happy to see the two suddenly start trading off on right hands. COLE Here we go! PRL It had to break down to brass tacks sooner or later, I'm just glad it's between these two. Ah hell, who am I kidding, I don't care either way. Throw Brickston in there to get his ass kicked too while we're at it, why not? *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Landon breaks away and hits a chop. *SLAP!* "AAAAAAHHHHHH!" And Alf responds, drawing a girly scream from Landon who's forced to go to the eyes. MADDIX Don't DO that! COLE He doesn't like those chops, Champ. PRL I'll bear that in mind. Suddenly, Alf and Landon's attentions turn, as Bohemoth returns to the fray and mows them down with a Double Clothesline!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Fired up, Bohemoth winds up by the ropes, managing to hiptoss an oncoming Brickston up and over the top rope! Vitamin X rushes to his man's aid, while Bohemoth sizes up his remaining opponents. First to his feet, unfortunately for him, is Landon who gets takes up and emphatically DOWN with the Front Spinebuster!! Bohemoth then delivers a boot to Alf, doubling him up for a big Powerbomb! COLE This crowd are on their feet! Landon is hurt, Alf is hurt and PR, we might be about to see it! PRL Oh the humanity. Bohemoth stalks around his fallen opposition for a few seconds, teasing the crowd before he finally gives them what they want. Thumbs Up. THUMBS DOWN~! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Here it comes! Bending down, Bohemoth grabs Landon by the hair and hauls him to his feet. Poor Landon has no choice but to go with The Meterosexual Monster's wishes, a scoop up into the arms signalling the end. Bohemoth's expression turns from focus to fuzzy though, as when he turns around... *CRACK!* ...he gets WAFFLED with a steel chair by Brickston!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" PRL OH! Big chairshot, and perfectly legal. COLE Wait a second, Landon's on top! 1... 2... *CRACK!* A chairshot to the back breaks up Maddix's opportunistic pin, Brickston standing tall with the weapon as Vitamin X applauds gleefully on the outside. COLE Two big shots with that steel chair from Brickston have changed the tide. And I'm pretty sure Vitamin X was the one who handed Brickston that chair in the first place. PRL Doesn't really matter. So long as he's got that chair, Brickston's in the ideal position to win this thing. With only one man left to hit, Brickston wields the chair waiting for Alfdogg to get back up. Impatiently he yells at Alf, barely able to contain himself, until finally Alf is up, at which point he charges and takes a big swing... ...NO!! Alf ducks his head and at the same time manages to backdrop Brickston over the top, chair and all!! PRL You know, if he wasn't such a putz. With Brickston disposed off, Alf watches Bohemoth recovering. Waving him to his feet, Alf then unloads with the SUPERKICK~! and falls on top... 1... 2... NO! COLE Alf a half a second away from another shot at the World Title. And look at the look of frustration on his face, you just know how much he wants that #1 contendership after the way things went at November Reign. PRL By that, I assume you mean him getting his ass pinned 1, 2, 3 fair and square? COLE He pushed you all the way though. PRL Sure. Doesn't mean he didn't lose in the end. Alf pulls Bohemoth back up, looking surprised to recieve help from Maddix as he does so. Despite a wary look the two put aside their difference to execute a double irish whip, looking for a double team. Not so much off the same page but not even reading the same book, Landon goes for a hiptoss while Alf ducks his head for a backdrop. Bo isn't going anywhere from the hiptoss and boots Alfdogg in the chest to snap him upright. He then feeds Alf into a front facelock by Landon, before breaking off... and hitting a SPEAR~! on Maddix... who in turn DDT's Alfdogg!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE How about two for the price of one!? The crowd erupt as Bohemoth slaps at his chest in his fired-up state. Slowly Landon begins to get back up and Bohemoth stalks him, before taking his head off with the MURDERLINE~!!~1!!~ PRL OH MY! COLE Hey, that's my line! PRL Sorry. COLE ...EXPLOSIVE clothesline, is that enough!? Bohemoth thinks so as he hooks the leg... 1... 2... ALF BREAKS IT UP! COLE Boy, where'd Alf get that from after the DDT? Grabbing Alf by the hair, Bohemoth unloads with a right hand. A second. And a third. Putting Alf on dream street the bigman then sees the opening, scooping him into the arms looking for the Erotic Awakeni... NO! Alf fights with elbows, catching Bo in the temple enough times to force him to drop him. Once on his feet, Alf quickly connects with a boot to buy an extra second, then comes off the ropes with an STO takedown! 1... 2... No! Alfdogg backs into a corner, going to the middle rope. Before he can leap though, Bohemoth charges at him and delivers a YAKUZA KICK TO THE CHEST!!! PRL Dayyum! Alf's leg ends up hooking between the ropes, leaving him hung precariously over the outside of the ring. The outside suddenly seems a much more welcoming place though, once Bohemoth pulls him back inside and into his arms, before swinging him around... ...out... ...and DOWN~! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE EROTIC AWAKENING OF B!! PRL Go ahead and cover him! Before Bo can do so though, in all the commotion Brickston is back in and nails Bohemoth in the back of the head with a double axehandle. Brickston then bundles himself through Bo and onto Alf as best he can trying to get the cover. Both men wind up stacked on Alfdogg's shoulders though, leaving Chioda unsure of what to do. Seeing the situation, Landon suddenly DIVES on top of the pile and urges for Chioda to hurry up and count... COLE Wait a second... 1... 2... Alf kicks... 3!!!!! ...but trapped under three bodies, he simply can't kick out! *DINGDINGDING!* PRL Huh? COLE ...that's it... but... wait, who won!? Good question. One which even referee Mike Chioda seems to be asking as he gives the signal for the bell but no official decision. Landon Maddix doesn't need one though as he's already going wild celebrating. Leaping to the floor he hugs Megan and punches the sky, despite the clear look of confusion on Megan's eyes. Seeing this, Vitamin X rushes over to the referee trying to make sure Maddix didn't win. Chioda doesn't agree, but he doesn't disagree either. PRL You've gotta be kidding me. How the hell could they screw up something so simple as this?! First guy to get the pin's the number one contender, simple... COLE But, there were three guys making the pin thou... PRL ...so who won the damn match then!?! Out of his chair, the World Champion has his hands on his hips as nobody seems to know what's going on. Even Maddix has stopped his celebrations now and marches around the ring to where Chioda is being yelled at by Vitamin X. Landon makes things worse by adding his yelling to the mix, Bohemoth up too with only Alf not arguing, due to being groggy on the mat. Eventually, with no less than four people yelling at him and angry looks being directed his way by PRL, Chioda then shocks everyone by leaving the ring and heading to the back, unable to make the call with everyone pressuring him! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" PRL Oh, son of a bitch! As Chioda leaves, Brickston and Bohemoth decide to settle matters by exchanging right hands. Landon is happy to throw his hands up and say to hell with it all though, dragging Megan off confident to get assurances that he won, as he thinks. COLE Well I really don't know what to say... PRL I do. This sucks! COLE ...and we're almost out of time, I don't think we're going to get this resolved tonight. Folks, join us next week from San Juan, hopefully we'll get this mess cleared up by then at least. Goodnight from HeldDOWN~! Brickston and Bohemoth continue to slug it out, as we FADE OUT.

EARLIER TODAY MEL Do you dare me to pour Windex into my eyes? MARV Yes. MEL AH! I BURN! MARV PRESENTED IN HD FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY ACTUALLY THIS EPISODE IS PRETTY TAME aight boys I just be frontin on a dude last week. Here's the real theme song, OMG HIJACK TONY I'M PULLIN' RANK ON YOUR WHORE ASS! FUCK THE FAKERS! I'LL KICK THEM ALL IN THE DICK, AND RAPE THEIR BITCH WIVES, JUST LIKE NUMBER 24! COLE Welcome to HeldDOWN everyone! Tonight's show features a mainevent for the number one contender for PRL's world title! Landon Maddix missed out on his chance at a guaranteed world title shot at Angleslam, but he could make up for that with a victory tonight. Or Alfdogg could finally bring world title gold back to the Deadly Alliance. Might Brickston pull off an upset? Or could it be Bohemoth on the cusp of greatness for so long, finally getting his world title chance? Can you imagine that, Coach? Bohemoth Vs PRL for the world title? What a match! Right? COACH Nurse: You've got to call it Doctor: Time of death - October 9th, 11:05 PM Nurse: I'll contact Mister Monyemaker and the board and notify them of the OAOAST's passing. COLE Well, there's another HeldDOWN ruined within the first 45 seconds. COACH Crap. I was trying for thirty seconds. I should've worn a visible nipple ring. by Kansas hits, and The Deadly Alliance starts through the curtains, with Alfdogg leading the way, followed by Sandman9000, Thunderkid, and Reject, with Melissa Nerdly on his arm. COLE And here comes the Deadly Alliance, Coach, and look at this sight! Cole says this as the camera focuses in on Reject and Melissa, laughing and grinning evilly. COACH Yeah, it's a thing of beauty, isn't it? I haven't seen Reject this happy in weeks, it warms my heart! COLE Of course, Reject last week defeating Leon Rodez in that steel cage match, thanks in part to the woman who now accompanies him, Melissa Nerdly! What must the Nerdly family be thinking right now, seeing one of their own, arm-in-arm with Reject, who has sent two of this, and I use this term loosely, two of this woman's sisters to the hospital? COACH Well, you and I obviously have seen this story a whole lot differently! I, for one, commend Melissa for seeing through the lies of her sisters and realizing that Reject was the victim here! Reject was the one who was lied to and backstabbed by Maggie, she drove him to this! COLE Well, those absurdly ignorant comments notwithstanding, it all culminated in last week's cage match, where the trap was sprung by Reject and Maggie's older sister, Melissa, and here we are now! Alf enters the ring, and grabs a mic. COLE And here is Alfdogg, who will earn another chance at the World title should he win tonight's Fatal 4-way! ALF You know, this has got to be some kind of joke. The OAOAST is just trying to jinx the Deadly Alliance, dragging us through all these loser cities! *crowd boos* ALF First we have to go to Phoenix, then we spend over a week in Ohio, now Virginia? What's so special about this place? Certainly not their choke artist college football programs! *crowd boos* ALF But enough about that. I'm out here to respond to the absurd ruling made last week by our President, Josie Baker. Booking a Fatal 4-way match as tonight's main event? What a travesty! Everyone here knows that I, and I alone, should have that shot at Tha Puerto Rican at the Halloween Spectacular! *crowd boos* ALF And if that wasn't enough...look at my opponents in this match! Brickston?!? We're talking about a guy who, at AngleSlam, was pinned 12 times in less than an hour! Hasn't even been seen or heard from since, and he just walks on TV and gets another chance? Give me a break! And Vitamin X, Prince Vitamin, whatever you want to call yourself...no offense, I love your dad's cereal... This incites laughter from the crowd. ALF But after tonight, you two may BOTH know what it's like to be in retirement, as in a retirement HOME, after I'm finished wiping the mat with you two jobbers. *mixed reaction* ALF Now then...Landon Maddix. *mixed reaction* ALF Turns out I do have some worthy competition in this match. Even though he cheated like a dog, he has pinned my shoulders to the mat, and didn't have to depend on phony rope breaks, or me hitting myself with a chair. *crowd boos* ALF However, Landon...that means that I own you one. And oh, what you said last week! The lowest drawing champion ever! Oh boy, aren't we clever, REAL original! Let me tell you something, punk...the last person to use that line against me...was Colombian Heat! *crowd boos* ALF And where's he at now? Oh, that's right, he's in the hospital, recuperating, never again to be the same human being. *crowd boos* ALF Don't think the Deadly Alliance won't leave you the same way. And who does that leave? The crowd starts to anticipate the name of the Metrosexual Monster. ALF Oh, that's right, that leaves your precious Bohemoth! *crowd cheers* ALF From rapist to World title contender in six weeks' time...only in the OAOAST! *crowd boos* ALF Didn't we have this match once before? Me against Bohemoth? I seem to recall such a match! And from my memory, it was not ME that was left a bloody mess in the middle of this ring! *crowd boos* COLE And it wasn't Bo that had the luxury of a barbed wire bat in his possession, either! COACH Can it. ALF And tonight, I just may make it happen again. Now then...something much bigger happened last week...I'll let the R-Man tell you all about it. Alf hands off the mic to Reject, as the crowd boos. REJECT You're absolutely right, Alf. Because last week, I took Leon Rodez, and I left him bloodied and beaten inside that steel cage. *crowd boos* REJECT I have finally cleansed my self of this whole Leon Rodez story. And I don't mean cleansed in a Nerdly sister sense...(looks down at Melissa)...those girls will never be "cleansed", if you know what I mean. Melissa laughs, as the crowd boos. REJECT But now...I can finally move on. I have gained my retribution...and that chapter of my career is finally closed. *crowd boos* COACH Yeah! REJECT Now, my focus can go to being one-half of the World tag team champions...one half of the greatest tag team this sport has ever seen. And...my focus can go to you, baby. Reject looks Maggie in the face while saying his last line, then hands her the mic. MELISSA That's right. Did you people really think that *I* was trying to scheme after Leon? You really thought I was excited about meeting up with him in that hotel room? Give me a break! The crowd boos, as Melissa walks back over to Reject, rubbing his stomach and chest with her left hand. MELISSA And by the way, we'll leave it up to your imagination as to what happened in that room after that camera cut out. *smiles* COLE Ow! Hey, what do you have your pencil down there for? COACH ...that's not my pencil. COLE MELISSA You see, this thing has been in the works for the last two months. When I saw the way that my little sister treated this man, walked all over him, used him...it made me sick to my stomach. So it was me who came to him, gave him a shoulder to lean on. And I was the person who kept this man from TOTALLY going over the edge! You remember the way he intruded on your precious little niece last week, Leon? It's because of ME that your niece does not share a hospital room with your girlfriend as we speak! *crowd boos* MELISSA We didn't need to harm her. We needed to save all that negative energy, to unleash on you, Leon. And when I raised my arm up and struck you between those perpetually-open legs of yours...that was the best feeling of BOTH of our lives. Not only that...if I'm to believe a couple of my sisters, I was aiming for a pretty small target! The crowd gives a "OH NO YOU DI'INT" type reaction, as the DA breaks into laughter in the ring. MELISSA Reject was nothing but a gentleman to my sister. But in the land of the OAOAST, where these people cheer for adulterers, rapists, cradle-robbers, and absentee mothers...you BOOED Reject. *crowd boos* MELISSA Well, guess what? Maggie...karma is exactly like you...a no-good, rotten BITCH. Melissa laughs, then drops the mic as The Wall plays and the DA departs. COACH Truer words, Cole, they have never been uttered! COLE I'm...just in shock at this transformation of Melissa Nerdly. COACH Weren't you listening, Cole? There was no transformation! Melissa was always by Reject's side, just like Reject was by Maggie's, before she double-crossed him! COLE Well, Reject may have declared this war over, but I think he's sorely mistaken!

RACE FOR THE SCHOOL HOUSE 08 A SPECIAL REPORT WITH ~THEODORE MONEYMAKER~ ~MACKENZIE DECENZO~ ~AND RUSH LIMBAUGH~ On the set of conservative pundit Rush Limbaugh's hit radio show, we sit with the iconic figure himself as well as Theodore Moneymaker and Mackenzie DeCenzo. RUSH One and Only Anglesault Thread fans here is your one and only warning to tune this program out. This isn't your typical night of revelry with empty headed jocks swooning over even emptier headed bimbos. This doesn't concern you people, you're too lost in the swampy morass of America's liberal imposed immoral hell. This is for the student body at Beverly Vista School in Beverly Hills, California. Where right now the American political system is working over time as Democrat nominee Maya Duncan-Blanchard goes against Republican JC Pennington IV. With me today, is political expert, author of the upcoming book "Money talks! Bull@#$% walks!", Theodore Moneymaker, as well as hisfinance manager the very intelligent, Mackenzie DeCenzo! MONEYMAKER Gratitude may be lost on those not thankful for our government fighting to preserve or freedom and liberty, but it is not lost on me. Thank you for having us, Rush. RUSH Here...here's what I'm curious about, Teddy. Why isn't the Beverly Vista Gazette covering Maya's links to the radical 5th grader, Colton Hulse? MACKENZIE Its because the Beverly Vista Gazette is more interest in shoving down a pipping hot helping of bullhoey down the throats of the American people. MONEYMAKER But can we expect anything less from the liberal mainstream media? The same Neanderthals still pushing this global warming scam as if our earth as if an increases temperature somehow causes sea levels to rise! Hey, liberals, I have a fountain in front of my mansion. When the temp hits 90 I'm not seeing any FEMA helicopters coming to rescue me from the flood. And of course overreacting to a little dip in the market when middle class Americans are afraid to leave their home to take their kids to hockey practice, because the penalty box might be rigged with a terrorist bomb. MACKENZIE That's one way to cut down hooking and holding in the NHL. You hook me I sit you next to a suicide bomber. RUSH For those that don't know Colton Hulse is a 5th Grader who during morning assembly snuck into one of the biology class rooms and released every single frog that was scheduled to be dissected by his class that day. I don't know what type of plant the liberal mainstream media is smoking today... MONEYMAKER Dollars to donuts whatever it is Maya Duncan-Blanchard tries to get it legalized for medicinal purposes on campus grounds! "Teacher! Teacher! My tummy hurts!" "Here, Timmy, smoke a little crack rock, courtesy of the black kids of from South LA we've been bussing in! Smoke it outside, but try not to get killed in a driveby by the Mexican Mafia!" BWHAHAHAAH! RUSH But where I come from, the United States of America, we call that domestic terrorism. At the very least its a total subversion of the educational system. MONEYMAKER I have a cousin in Iraq, Rush, Hayden Moneymaker, who fights for his love of country and his love of huge flame throwing weaponry and the screams the terrorists make when he sets them on fire with it. "AHHHH! AGGHHH! ERRRRRAHAH!", he does it better than me, but its very funny. Did Allah order his burger well done? BWHAHAHAAH! My joke, not his. Every night, every night, I am on my knees praying for the safe return of not only him, but all our boys in Iraq. Not our women or our gays, I don't think either has any right to service or prayers for that mater. And it breaks my heart to see Maya Duncan-Blanchard basically take the side of the Hamas, and the Talibanai, and spit all over the American flag. Our boys are out there dying for your right to protest, Maya Duncan-Blanchard! They need to know that we support them, they don't need our schools, the cornerstone of American society, being ran by some pampered spoiled brat celebrity's kid, a damn liberal-nazi, a Stalin in the making. When our boys are out there dropping the bombs on the faces of evil in North Korea, or up in Alaska blasting away at Putin whenever he rears his head to deny us our right to sea lion riding, or igloo building or penguin racing they need to know the American children are ready to reload the clip and yell "Not today, you commie bastards! Not today!" RUSH What about this liberal talking point about JC's choice for vice class president, Abrianna Holden. This one that they've ran into the ground, because they know the American people are tired about hearing their usual assorted bag of lies so they pull out all new tricks to swindle us. MONEYMAKER Typical liberals. Whining and whining "Oh, she just got to the school in September! Oh, he's only known her for a month! Oh, they've only had one five minute conversation in the cafeteria over tacos!" As if somehow all of that makes her a questionable selection for being in the second highest position of power at the school. RUSH MONEYMAKER Listen, Rush, if I'm leaving a Heat game, and I see a black guy carrying a gun coming at me, I don't need to take the guy to Starbucks and get his opinion on the economic bailout passage and spend three years learning his hopes, dreams and aspirations for a better tomorrow to know "Oh no! Black guy with a gun! I'm probably gonna get shot!" Simple as that. The liberals would probably say I'm being racist. I need to understand. I need to learn. I understand there's a black guy with a gun, and I've learned that means I'm gonna get shot! MOACKENZIE I don't understand what the issue is with the Beverly Vista Gazette, Rush, I really don't. RUSH Neither do I frankly, Miss DeCenzo. But when you teach a monkey to read and write don't be surprised when you've got a paper full of crap. MONEYMAKER BWAHAHAHAAH! MACKENZIE The one time that feces ridden flea rag did decide to give equal coverage to the parties, they bombarded Miss Holden with a series of misleading and unfair questions designed with the singular intent to make her look like a bumbling idiot. RUSH Let's show a clip from the school's website between Sophia Rosenberg, a friend of Maya's, and Miss Holden. BACK TO THE STUDIO RUSH Is that kind of biased bullying what passes for journalism these days? Its time to take the media from the jaws of the out of touch liberal elite and back into the hands of the American people. MONEYMAKER JC made the decision on his VP because he doesn't tow company line. He does what's best for Joe Six pack and hockey moms, not the wealthy left wing elite. He's a maverick, Rush. JC is the maverick. The kid is a flat out maverick. To me he's a maverick. He's a maverick. I look at him and I see a maverick. When he walks down the street people go, "there's the maverick!" A maverick is in their presence. RUSH I agree. MONEYMAKER Maverick. RUSH And because- MONEYMAKER He's the maverick. RUSH Of people- MONEYMAKER JC is the maverick. RUSH That he is. MONEYMAKER Why won't somebody touch on the experience, or lack thereof, of Maya Duncan-Blanchard? After only 140 some days as a milk monitor in 7th grade, she is a heartbeat away from being Beverly Vista 8th grade class president. How is that acceptable in our country? Maybe because it took the liberal population a couple weeks to earn their GED, and that suddenly makes them the second coming of James Carville. Or it took them 140 days to get promoted to night manager at Wendy's, their presidents of the freaking model UN, because they supervise a Mexican at the drive through window? MACKENZIE Can you tell me what other jobs and careers you can be promoted in only 140 some days?! Not very many I can tell you that. MONEYMAKER That's where the supernatural comes in...Satan is helping Maya too---right along with the left-wingers and possibly some Muslims from other countries---after all it was a rich Muslim from another country that ran her acting school in first grade! Hmm, was she being groomed for such a time as this? RUSH Are you saying Maya's candidacy is the work of Satan? MACKENZIE Rush, if the pitchfork fits.... RUSH How true. How very, painfully true! MONEYMAKER It truly terrifies me that this little girl could lead us down a path of moral decay like never seen before. I ask the Lord to please listen to all of us...he knows our hearts and prayers. I know I need to leave it all in his hands and stop fearing...but it has been so very hard. Pray for Pennington/Holden, pray for our country, and please pray for me. And I think we should pray for Maya Duncan-Blanchard as well, even though my heart doesn't want to. It would be what Jesus would do. MACKENZIE Amen. RUSH Amen indeed. America stay conservative, and stay safe. Good night. FADE OUT COACH HAHAHAAH! Three epic losses in a row for the Duncan girls. These kids is torpedoing the Duncan name. Disgust at Jade for dragging Maya down with her. Jade supposed to be like the retard from Slingblade. The retard supposed to enrich yo life, open your mind, make you better. This retard just drags everyone else down to. Better ship Jade back to Grand Rapids where that kinda retardation is appreciated before she turns your little girl into Forest Gump. Next thing ya know Maya'll be dropping out the race to go man a shrimp boat with her boy Bubba. COMMERCIAL

Backstage we find Jade Rodez-Duncan sat alongside gal pal Melody Nerdly. Poor Jade sits with her head buried in her hands, Melody able to sneak in a couple of blocks worth of Tetris DS while she's not looking, before the DS is quickly hidden and her face becomes apologetic again as soon as Jade emerges from her sorry pit of shame. JADE Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed. He must think I'm the dumbest girl alive! MELODY Oh, come on now... he's met Alix, remember? JADE He just looked at me like I was some stupid little kid. What was I even thinking asking him out, he's WAY out of my league! I mean he's way out of both our leagues, he's in a whole 'nother league... stupid, stupid, stupid! MELODY Uh... if you remember correctly, I actually went out with him once. That recollection from OAOAST shows past (seriously, it happened, Melody used to be the cool one in 2006!) doesn't exactly make Jade feel any better and she gets ever closer to sobbing her heart out. MELODY I mean... I'm just saying, is all. JADE Oh Melody, I should have took your advice back then. MELODY What? My advice back then was to ask him out and you were even more young and unexperienced at the time. Jade gets another step closer to breaking down and Melody is forced to jump in to save herself having to see it. MELODY Look, forget that, it never happened. Men In Black that. Flash! Gone. I'm no good at this, I'm sorry. I'd probably be a much better shoulder to cry on if we can wait like 20 minutes and do this over AIM. Face to face conversations aren't really my strongest fortay. Emoticons > Actual emotions. *sees Jade glaring at her* But, I mean, if you wanna do this real world style, then that's cool too. Lemme see... well, uh, okay! All you have to do is prove to him you're not a kid. Show him how mature you are... or, failing that, fake it... then maybe you'll be able to change his mind. JADE I don't think that's gonna work. MELODY Yeah, but, that's what they'd do on every sitcom I've ever seen and to be honest that's pretty much what I base all my advice on. I mean, if it fails then he'll see you were trying and since you're the heroic figure of the story who the audience is supposed to empaphise with he'll go out with you anyway. Plus we'll all get a cheap laugh at your expence in the process. Jade glares at Melody. MELODY Look, I'm telling you we should be doing this over AIM. I can link you to hundreds of funny GIFs of cats up to mischief to cheer you up. Sadly, I'm allergic to real cats, so without AIM all I can provide is myself. JADE It's okay, you're trying your best. MELODY Thanks, I guess. Look, maybe it's not that bad. Maybe you can say I put you up to it. As a joke. Then, once you're in the clear, we let him think about whether you really meant it or not. In the meantime, we'll concoct some kind of brilliant scheme to make it look like you're dating MARV. JADE Gee, I dunno... MELODY Okay, MEL, whatever. Although if you go with the ugly one, the plan might not work so well. JADE Mel, they're identical. Melody continues to formulate her sitcom worthy plan, Jade still a little dubious but beginning to warm to any ideas... ...as behind them, a figure suddenly begins to loom out of the shadows. An intimidating figure. That of MALAYSIA NERDLY! MELODY Anyway, you make him jealous... JADE I don't think he's gonna be jealous of MARV or MEL really. MELODY It doesn't matter who it is, it just has to be someone. Look, trust me, okay. I've seen it hundreds of times on hundreds of shows and it absolutely very rarely fails. As Melody and Jade continue scheming, Malaysia watches on with a sinister smile. Not before time Jade suddenly gets the unnerving feeling that she's being watched and turns around. At that point, Malaysia suddenly charges out of the shadows with a low roar and grabs hold of Jade, before throwing her face-first into the wall behind her with a *THUD!* As Jade hits the hard floor with a shout, Melody instantly jumps to her best friend's defence. Leaping onto her massive sister's back she flails wildly at her, only for Malaysia to simply shrug her off and DRIVE her boot into Melody's chest bowling her up and over her seat!!! Melody stays down, while Malaysia goes back over to Jade. She grabs the helpless Women's Champion around the throat and lifts her to her feet, pinning the petrified young Duncan girl up against the wall and leaning right in next to her ear. MALAYSIA I'm coming for what's mine... MY belt... next week. With a shove forward Malaysia releases Jade's neck finally. Gasping for air Jade falls to the floor, still terrified Malaysia isn't done with her yet. Luckily, Malaysia just needs a couple of seconds to take in her victim's fearful strangled breathing, before she walks off satisfied. COLE Wow! Jade Rodez-Duncan against Malaysia, and Angleslam rematch for the women's title! That's next week, folks, on HeldDOWN. We would get her mother's opinion, but Krista is actually back home in LA receiving an award in comedy at the Creative Arts Emmy Awards. We're all very proud of her for that. But, even on an award night, she made her presence threat by calling in an anthrax scare and forcing half the roster to be subjected to cavity searches, and the possibility of being hanged for treason. Hurry back soon, Krista. Folks we will back with more HeldDOWN, and you don't to miss our major leauge mainevent bout!

OAOAST HeldDOWN is Brought to you by Pedophiles Minorities The Homeless They are threats to our everyday lives. It’s why as Class President, Jeffery Carter Pennington IV would secure our school’s perimeters. The same cannot be said for Maya Duncan-Blanchard. She wants to add 10 more minutes to recess. He wants to add 10 more hall monitors and beef up campus security. What would you rather have? 10 more minutes for a school shooting to erupt? Or 10 more hall monitors to make sure that school shooting never happens? In a recent interview with the school newspaper, Maya Duncan-Blanchard was quoted as saying “We should take in the homeless and give them a hot meal” right in the middle of lunch hour. Really Ms. Duncan-Blanchard? And risk a deranged homeless minority pedophile abusing one of our students? For shame. For shame. On March 7th in 6th Grade Maya Duncan-Blanchard voted against watching Finding Nemo and instead to watch Spider Man 2 for movie day before spring break. Not only that, but many have reason to believe Maya rigged the election for Spider Man in her role as vote counter. Sources say that when she got home her and her fat cat pals from the 7th Grade watched Finding Nemo at her slumber party. JC Pennington IV fought for the rights of the 6th Grade class to watch Finding Nemo. Even going against the will of his best friend. Students at Beverly Vista, ask yourselves one question: Who’s really looking out for you? Vote Jeffery Carter Pennington IV (R-CA) 8th Grade Class President at Beverly Vista School. He’s one investment you’ll see a big return on. “I’m J.C. Pennington IV and I approve this message.” Paid for by Jeffery Carter Pennington IV BVSCP ‘08

COMMERCIAL As we return from break back here on HeldDOWN~!, everyone's favorite Tough Enough contestant turned interview extraordinaire, JOSH MATTHEWS~! is standing at center ring to welcome us back. JOSH Ladies and gentlemen, at this time, please welcome...The IN-TERPRISE~! COACH All right, The Enterprise comin' on out here again to show these people just who is in control of HeldDOWN~! COLE Did he say "Enterprise"? I swore he said...hahahaha, well now Coach, I think you better take a second look at your monitor! "Money Talks" by ACDC plays, and the crowd is not happy about it...until they see the group enter through the curtain. For the first time in their OAOAST tenure, The Enterprise gets a loud ovation from the crowd...but that's because we're not actually being blessed with the presence of Theodore Moneymaker's supergroup. The fans are laughing, clapping, and roaring, because four all-too familiar faces are coming out in place of the loathed members of The Enterprise. Leading the way is Zack Malibu, flashing wads of colored paper to the camera, decked out in a black suit with a top hat and carrying a cane as well. Behind him is Leon Rodez, sticking his chin up in the air and carrying a copy of Webster's dictionary as he walks slowly, doing his best to look studious. Bo and Sly round out the group, wearing what would normally take for stylish suits...if they weren't powder blue. Oh, and Sly's in blackface, so one can only guess that he's playing the part of CPA tonight! COACH What the...what is this crap!??!?! Moneymaker's gonna have their heads for this! The In Cr...whoops, IN-Terprise enter the ring, and Zack shakes Josh Matthews hand...cramming a blue fifty dollar bill into it, noticed by the zoom lens of the camera. COLE It's Monopoly money! COACH Ugh...how original. Josh just chuckles and heads out, leaving Zack with the mic, and a wild crowd cheering he and his cohorts on. MALIBU That's right, cheer, all you people. Cheer me because I am rich! Cheer me because I am powerful! Oh, and cheer the other members of my group, because I'm not paying them for nothing! For I am rich...RICH...RICHER THAN RICHIE RICH! I am THEODORE MONOPOLYMAN, AND THIS IS MY IN-TERPRISE~! COLE Theodore Monopolyman!? Well, that explains the top hat and cane! COACH You are just LOVING this, aren't you? MALIBU That's right, and nobody...not any of you, have more money than ME! Behold all of my income! I've got pink 5's, yellow 10's, blue 50's...wait, who the hell put a Get Out Of Jail Free card in with my weekly allowance!?!? Za...er, Monopolyman turns to face the other members of The In-Terprise, but they plead innocence, until Leon comes forth. LEON I say old chap, it was certainly not I, Christian Ebineezer Alistaire Mortimer Wright, Esq. For I would never allocate the transcendental epiphany of a dubious pontification! Oh, and furthermore... Leon/Wright quickly opens his dictionary, and starts thumbing through. LEON EXUBERANCE! Monopolyman pulls the mic away, looking at Leon oddly. MALIBU Yes, well...what he said! Here you go old chap...here's a $100 bill. Use it as a bookmark for all I care, because there is plenty more where that came from. Especially since I'M RICH~! Monopolyman puts his hands on his hips, posing as if he's just conquered Mt. Everest, until the mic is rudely snatched away from Bohemoth, looking a little less like the Metrosexual Monster he is in the powder blue suit. BOHEMOTH I think it's about time that I got a chance to speak! I'm more than just atmosphere here! I'm more than just a henchman! I'm Detective Tango Bos...Tango Bos...Boszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. In what may be a HeldDOWN~! first, a wrestler falls asleep at the mic, as Bo's head slumps over in mid-promo! Thinking fast, Monopolyman slaps him across the back of the head, waking him up. MALIBU THAT'S why we don't let you talk! I mean, not only are you not RICH~!, but you're so boring you even put yourself to sleep! I mean, certainly if you were worth your salt as a detective, you would have found some charisma by now! Saddened, Bo-sley goes over to the corner and leans on the top rope, putting his head down as if he's in a time out! MALIBU That's right, you bury your head over there and realize that you are simply an associate. You are being paid for a service, and rather well I might add because I'M RICH~! Again, Monopolyman poses proudly, until the mic is taken by Sly Sommers, clad in blackface. SLY Oh you're rich all right. You've got our pockets lined pretty heavily with that cold, hard, Parker Bros. cash, brother. BUT, let's not forget... MALIBU Speaking of forgetting, what was your name again? SLY Why, I'm the CPA, partner of the AMOG. We make up the VICE? So RSVP ASAP, OK? Monopolyman looks around, bewildered. MALIBU Were you talking to me or reading an eye chart? Suddenly, Leon strolls over. LEON FLOCCI­NAUCINI­HILIPIL­IFICATION~! Monopolyman wipes the spit out of his eye after the pronounciation of that one. MALIBU What!? LEON FLOCCI­NAUCINI­HILIPIL­IFICATION~! MALIBU I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME! What does it mean, exactly? LEON It...I mean, uh... Leon pulls back, and starts thumbing quickly through his dictionary again. MALIBU Now let's see, one, two three...BOSLEY GET BACK IN THAT CORNER! Bo-sley, who turned around to come back and join his stablemates, puts his head low and goes back to standing in the corner on a timeout. MALIBU Four of us...OH! I almost forgot...but that tends to happen when YOU'RE RICH LIKE ME~! We're missing somebody! We're missing Alison! SLY Mr. Monopolyman, sir...truth be told I think EVERYONE forgot about Alison! All Zack can do is nod in agreement to that one, as the crowd gets a chuckle out of it. MALIBU Even so...Alison, sweetheart, please come out and join us! "Money Talks" hits again, and out comes...an OAOAST staff member, walking a Golden Retriever on a leash! COLE Oh my, hahahaha. I really don't think this is going over well with certain people. Leon and Sly group up with Zack, and start to come "out of character" for the segment, as they look a little perturbed by this. SLY Zack, don't you think we're taking this a little too far? I mean, a dog to play Alison? MALIBU Well, yeah...I mean, we had to. LEON Because she's a bitch, right? Malibu's eyes widen, as if he can't believe Leon just said that, but it's understandable given Leon's recent state of mind. MALIBU No Leon, that's not why. SLY Wait, I get it...she's a little on the...ahem...hairy side, Zack??! MALIBU What, NO! No guys, I mean I think it's obvious to everyone in this arena why we chose a female dog to portray Alison tonight...because not a single female back there in that locker room would want to be compared to her, even as a joke! Sly and Leon look at each other, and do the "oooooooooooh" style reaction. MALIBU OK, um...we're getting to serious here guys. Let's just, uh, let's forget that happened people, OK? I'll make it worth your while, hang on a second! Monopolyman puts down the mic and jumps out of the ring, and runs around ringside, handing the Monopoly money to eager fans at ringside! He then rolls back into the ring, just as Bo-sley is about to pick up the mic. MALIBU GET BACK IN THAT CORNER! BOHEMOTH But...I HAVE A BADGE! Bo-sley reaches into the pocket of his awful looking suit, and pulls out a plastic, star shaped badge. MALIBU So you do...wait, Sherriff!? You're a DETECTIVE! THIS BADGE ISN'T REAL~! Zack takes the badge and hums it like a Chinese star out into the crowd. MALIBU Bo-sley, what exactly DO you bring to the table for The In-Terprise? Bo-sley puts his hand on his chin and ponders this, until Leon runs over. LEON An estimation of something as worthless! Malibu does a double take, not sure what he's talking about. MALIBU Come again? What exactly are you talking about? LEON FLOCCI­NAUCINI­HILIPIL­IFICATION~! That time, Zack takes Bo's jacket and wipes his face off, as Leon wipes the drool from his lips. MALIBU OK, maybe we should stop now. LEON I promise not to enunciate as much. MALIBU No, Leon...I mean, fun's fun, but now...now we can get down to business. I think that we've entertained everyone here tonight with an accurate portrayal of The Enterprise, have we not? The crowd roars with approval, as The In Crowd stand in center ring. MALIBU Moneymaker, as you can see, we've got a sense of humor about things...except when someone wants to make things personal. You want to make me your main target, try to deface my character and use my girlfriend and my baby as a lure to feed into your little quest to reveal me as some type of villain? You've got your wish, pal. You can bring Alison back, you can surround yourself with intellectuals and bodyguards and detectives and whatever you want to classify your...ahem...associates as long as you want. The truth is, no person, no amount of money, NOTHING can protect you once I finally get my hands on you, and when that happens, Teddy, I promise you...it'll be no laughing matter. Every man in this ring may have individual goals, but collectively, we forge a cohesive unit based on the one thing that you won't ever get from me, Sly, Leon, Bo, or any of these people filling these seats. You will never, Teddy, EVER, have respect. You will never have the adulation, you will never hear the crowd chant your name, because no amount of money can buy that, Teddy. You are looking at four men who have gone through hell and back, and if you think you can do better than those that fell before you, then try us. Push us to our limits, put our backs to the wall, because so help me God, the money in your pocket isn't what makes up this company. You want to try and get control, you want to slide into Anglesault's chair...well I've got news for you. This company is fueled on OUR blood, OUR sweat, and OUR tears, and we're not going to give that up to you. If I were you, I'd keep your cash in your pocket and the eyes in the back of your head wide open, because your day is coming. As for Alison, and your little exposes lately...say what you want. Moneymaker may as well have his hand up your ass because all you got brought back for was to be his ventriloquists dummy, spouting half-truths and outright lies to try to paint a darker picture of Zack Malibu. Keep talking, Alison, and I promise you, that eventually your mouth will write a check that even Mr. Moneybags over there won't be able to cash! Having made his point, Malibu stares coldly into the hard camera, flanked by his three best friends. "Popular" hits, and The In Crowd, having just shown The Enterprise they're not playing around, exit the ring to the cheers of the capacity crowd. COLE A vintage In Crowd promo, and The Enterprise...oh, they're going to be steaming after that one! COACH That was SO uncool. COLE Coach, I saw you cover your mouth so that you wouldn't laugh into your mic! COACH I did no such thing! Why you gotta blow up a brotha's spot, Mikey!? COLE Well, fans there's more HeldDOWN coming up, including our main event to decide the number one contender for the world title. So stay tuned! Hehhehe Monoplyman. 'Cause he's rich. Heheheh. COMMERCIAL

We return from commercial break to rejoin Leon Rodez in his trail around the arena. Sat down on a equipment trunk Leon taps his finger against it impatiently, with a cellphone clamped against his ear. With every passing second the tapping gets quicker and he seems to get more frustrated, until he pulls the phone away to see that he's been disconnected. LEON Damnit Maggie, c'mon! Leon goes to dial the number again... but stops halfway through and snaps it shut, angrily sticking it back in his pocket. Jumping to his feet Leon then goes back to what he was doing earlier, namely trudging around looking for somebody. He doesn't have far to go this time, finding himself outside the locker room of The Enterprise. Leon takes a couple of seconds to steel himself, a deep breath before going to open the door... ...and he stops, finding who he wants outside, much to his relief. At the end of the hallway stands Molly Nerdly, discussing something with an OAOAST camera man who's been pulled away from filming random backstage conversations without anyone noticing. So another camera man doing the exact same thing follows Leon down the hallway as he approaches Molly. MOLLY (inspecting the camera) Ah yes, I remember this model. Very sturdy and dependable. Maybe that's why OAOAST head office won't shell out for new top of the range models. Now, the only problem is, the video-out port tends to... LEON Excuse me. Can I BUTT in? The OAOAST camera man quickly leaves while the opening is there. Frozen on the spot, Molly slowly turns around and once she sees the voice was from who she assumed it was, her eyes grow wider. Taken a little by surprised at the starstruck look he's getting, Leon shakes it off. LEON Look, after last week there's some things I need to do to put my mind at rest. And I know a few weeks ago, Reject got to you and he kicked you in the ribs... uhm, are you okay? MOLLY Why... yes, it's just... it's you! LEON Huh? Oh, yeah. I get it, I'm not the most popular person with your family right now. MOLLY No no no, far from it. My silly sisters and yourself are none of my concern. I meant... it's you. It's Leon Rodez, in the flesh, here, standing in front of me... forgive me for being so bold, but I... I'm a big fan of yours. LEON Oh, really. MOLLY Honestly, yes, I don't wish to sound sarcastic. For months I've seen you walk around these halls and I've been too nervous to say anything to you, but really I've harboured admiration for you from afar for some time. Awkward as that may be with my current situation. But I... I'm a big fan of your movies. Not exactly what he was expecting to hear, Leon turns around half-expecting an ambush, or at the least someone to laugh at the ruse. But it seems Molly is being genuine, especially from the still starstruck look on her face. LEON Are you for real? MOLLY I'm never anything but when discussing great works of film! Christian had copies laying around still from his days of trying to discredit your career with them. LEON Oh yeah, I vaguely remember that. MOLLY And I happened upon them routing through the vaults of Stately Money Manor and... well, I've been a fan ever since. How could I not? Am I correct in thinking you directed most of your later pictures yourself? LEON Well... actually, yes, I did. MOLLY (to self) Then the rumours were true. Oh, I always believed them to be, but you always worry of lost artistic integrity in this world. I can't tell you how much of a relief it is to hear it from you! Let me start by saying, your adept use of lighting to accentuate character's moods and inner feelings is something to behold. And the way your movies transfer so seamlessly from shot to shot to further feelings of tension and excitement... well, it's not the work of a amateur, let me assure you of that! You have to have a talent for it. And you have that in abundance. LEON So, hang on... let me get this straight, you're saying that I'm a good director? On the basis of a couple of my old movies? MOLLY Of course! The material may not have been highbrow or poignant in any way if you don't mind me saying so, but your ability to create a vision and put it up on the screen shone through all the shoddy acting it accompanied. That is the true mark of a great director, to make the most of what he or she is given. LEON Well, this is a first. Still hardly be able to believe what he's hearing, Leon can't help but smile a little. LEON You know, if you're watching my movies and the first thing you notice is the lighting, I should probably be offended. MOLLY (sheepishly) Oh, well, I did notice some other things as well. LEON Glad to hear it. Suddenly, Leon's cellphone starts to go off in his pocket. Holding up a pausing finger he pulls the phone from his pocket... and casually turns it off and replaces it. LEON Sorry about that. MOLLY Oh no, please. I don't wish to hold you up. Perhaps we could continue this conversation a little later, because I do have some questions I'd like to probe you with. I'm a film studies student when not roaming these corridors you see and any advice from a professional such as yourself would be remarkably helpful. LEON .....sure, we can probably arrange something. Always a pleasure to meet a fan like yourself. MOLLY Oh, goodness! You flatter me. I do know a good coffee shop with a fantastic atmosphere, if that sounds okay. Shall we say 8? LEON Well, so long as the atmosphere isn't included in the bill. MOLLY As Molly breaks out into laughter, Leon continues to wonder what the hell is going on. Molly's laughter continues to ring around the corridors until she disappears into the Enterprise dressing room, leaving Leon behind to wonder if that really just happened. COACH A meeting, at a coffee shop, with a Nerdly, huh? Boy, that sap just don't learn his lesson does he?

The hip sounds of Thriller by Fall Out Boy drifts into the arena, giving birth to an excited murmur from the crowd. Red and blue lights splash across the landscape, as an orange pyro missle descends from the peak of the overhead scoreboard and onto the entrance stage. It lands with tremendous impact, nearly deafening those spectators unlucky enough sit near it. Immediately after the powerful pyro display concludes the lights dim to a troubling blackness. The home audience is shown an overhead view of the entrance stage, it's metallic floor carpeted by simmering flames that form the shape of a bull's head. The camera then pans downward to reveal the rugged man known as The Lonestar Gunslinger. His chiseled body framed by white trunks and Melod's favrotie Stewiee Griffin shirt, Baron tosses both his hands into the sky to the cheers of the OAOAST faithful. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of thirty minutes! Now making his way to the ring from San Antonio, TX he is the Lonestar Gunslinger...BARON WINDELLS! Baron dives into the ring, where he immediately heads to the top turnbuckle and again throws his arms up in triumph. COLE Believe it or not this is actually a scouting exercise by Theodore Moneymaker. He had Josie make a match between Christian Wright and Baron Windells for the purposes of scouting out Baron Windells. Windells has fuddled the Blonds the past few weeks, so I suppose Moneymaker wants to see how he handles his right hand man. But what could he be scouting him for? What is this guy uo to? Cole's pontifications are interrupted by the classic riffs of ZZ Top's Sharp Dressed Man. Through the parting entrance doors steps two of the sharpest dress men in all the OAOAST, Christian Wright and Detective Bosley. Clad in an all white suite, Bosley gazes through green tinted circle lens sunglasses as he lesiurely puffs on a cigarette. Standing inside a green spotlight that contrasts the gaudy flashing blue lights all around the entrance stage, Wright twirls around to show off his fine slacks and even finer loafers. BUFFER Making his way to the ring at this time, he is accompanied by DETECTIVE BOSLEY Now residing in Washington D.C... he weighs in at approximately 8 and 1/3 BARS OF GOLD... respresenting The Enterprise, ladies and gentlemen... "THE NATURAL"... CCHHHRRRRIIIIIISSSSSSTTIIIIIIAAAAAAANN... WWWWRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHHTT!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE I guess we're obligated to compliment Christian on being willing to show his face on HeldDOWN after talking a whole bunch of trash and getting beaten in a Boiler room by Bohemoth. But its nice to see Moneymaker keeps himself busy, digging up the ex of our franchise player, waging a smear campaign against a celebrity's teenage daughter, and now writing scouting reports. Where does he find time for himself? Wright climbs up the steps, staring down his foe with an unusually friendly smirk. Bosley, on the other hand, shows no signs of kindness and only growls ferociously at the former tag team champion. While Bosley'S ice cold glance may send most people heading for the hills, Windells pays him not a single bit of attention, and instead locks his focus on the still grinning Natural. DING DING DING After the bell rings, the two gladiators circle one another, each sizing the other up, eyeing down any potential weak points in the other's game. Finally they come together in the center of the ring for a lockup. Despite Windells' strength advantage, the leverage of CW manages to back the cowboy into the corner. Immediately, referee Buzzlefoxer calls for a clean break. Wright is more than happy to give it to the senior citizen, but does so only so he can lob a forearm at BW's face. Windells swings beneath the strike and scurries away, leaving The Natural's hand to slam against the ringpost. "By the heavens that hurt!" Wright complains. "Don't puss out on me, baby! Don't puss out on me!" Bosley calls back to him. Deciding not to puss out on the Detective, Wright comes to the center of the ring to meet BW for another lockup. This time its the hunky Texan, showing superiority as he shoves the 2005 rookie of the year into the ring posts. COACH Its a damn shame The Enterprise don't got any reps in that number one contender's match tonight. A diggity damn shame! COLE Diggity da....whatever. If Wright had managed to beat Bohemoth in the Boiler Room, there's a better than average chance he would've had his shot to be the number one contender to PRL's world title. But, Wright came up jiust a bit short against his former lackey. Buzzlefoxer again calls for a clean break, but there's nothing clean about the break brought upon by the elbow Moneymaker's right hand man throws into Windell's forehead. Caught off guard by the attack, BW staggers backwards and is put down by a running shoulder block from The Natural. The view cuts backstage to Moneymaker and Mackenzie watching on screen, as Wright puts his Brooks Brother's loafers to the muscular back of his rival. COACH We always talk about how much Krista's shoes cost, but what about Wright? That man is rocking Somalia's GDP on his feet. Dude is stuntin on these bitchmade crackas with they Adidas and they Keds! COLE Dude is stuntin on the limit on Moneymaker's American Express. Having everything you own in another man's name ain't what's hot in the streets, Coach. "You shall rise, infidel! You shall rise and taste thy bitterness of my blade!" Wright commands, leading Windells to drag his body, sore back and all off the canvas. The Natural shifts his focus to BW's front, hammering it with flesh shredding european uppercuts. After the fourth upper cut slices away at Baron's well defined pecs, CW latches onto his wavy hair and drives his face directly into the ring posts. Windells screams in agony, which causes Bosley to shout "I love it, baby! Cold blooded killer shit right there!" "LET'S GO BARON! LET'S GO BARON! LET'S GO BARON!" "SILENCE!" Wright yells as he stalks Baron's retreat across the ring. But, his time to engage the annoying audience proves costly, as Baron begins firing off a round of forearms that daze Wright and delight the sold out audience. Having weakened Wright enough with his strikes, The Lonestar Gunslinger latches onto his arm and whips him clear across the ring. The Natural crashes into the turnbuckle posts with a thudding oomph, but still has to the wherewithall to notice Baron approaching with the Bite My Shiny Metal Ass BUTT bump. Thus Wright counters the signature strike by leaping upwards and striking his foe with a dropkick to the back! "BOOOOOO!" hiss the audience, while Bosley pumps his fist like a maniac on the outside. COACH Hahah! That's why Christian Wright is 2005 rookie of the year! COLE I could've sworn he was 2005 rookie of the year because his only competition was Jay Richards, MARV and MEL when they weighed 125 pounds, and the South Central Militia. Wright waits with one hand on the rope, hunched over, looking more fearsome and predatory than ever before. Yet his vile glare does not intimate the gutsy youngster who rises and charges blindly at his foe. This haphazard dash is remarkably ill advised as when he reaches The Natural, CW lifts him into the air and slams him downwards with the Wright Off (Sky High). Windells cringes in pain, clutching onto his back and trying to still the rising pain. "CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS!" the fans chant, greatly annoyed with watching Wright celebrating by dusting off his hands. COACH Mister Moneymaker wanted to test Baron, and see what he's got, well he's seeing he ain't got a whole lot to him! This bum is doo doo water, sir. Doo doo water! COLE With in depth scouting reports like that, how can you ever go wrong with the wrestling insights of Jonathan Coachman? Smiling a broad and sinister typer of smile, Wright merrily walks towards Baron, who's having incredible difficulty simply standing. Frustrated by Windells slow and pained rise, CW grabs a clump of his sandy blond hair and yanks him off the canvas. He talks a bit of 16th century inspired trash and then pelts him in the head with a nasty head BUTT. "BOOOOOOOO!" "Ha-ha! You see that shit, bro! That's fucking Alpha, bro! Fucking Alpha!" Bosley shouts to no one really, making his cries of bro all the weirder. Back in the ring, CW returns to terrorizing BW with his trusty european uppercuts. The strikes leave Baron leaning against the ropes, struggling to regain his quickly fleeting breath. This goal remains out of reach, however, as Christian backs him into the corner with devastating knife edge chop. "BARON! BARON! BARON!" COLE The fans getting behind Baron tonight. One of the many young exciting athletes that make the OAOAST that make the OAOAST the show to watch on Thursday nights. COACH And of the many young athletes with tights that reveal bulging erections that make the OAOAST the show to watch for lonely closest cases on Thursday night. Wright grabs onto the side of Windells' head and guides him across the ring to the opposite corner. There he plans on ramming The Gunslinger's head into the posts, but that effort is cut short by Baron placing his boot on the ring posts and smashing his elbow into CW's jaw. The Natural shrieks in a combination of pain and frustration over missing his devious attack. Unfortunately the misery continues to mount for the native North Carolinian, as his enemy now besieges him with powerful right hands. Desperate to break free of the horrible onslaught, CW grabs hold of Baron's left arm and simply throws him to the ropes. The Natural takes an all too short moment to catch his breath, then as Baron returns with a lariat, he dips low and upends him with a back body drop! The long heavily muscled physique of the Gunslinger soars through the air before it finally crashes with a booming thud. While the fans jump back in horror and dismay, Wright lies atop his foe for a pinfall. ONE! TWO! Baron lifts his shoulder off the canvas, giving the capacity crowd something to cheer for. COLE Baron's Windells is as resilient and as tough as they come. There's something for Mister Moneymaker to mark down on his scouting report. Also, I think you're a jackass. Mark that down on your scouting report to! Baron rolls to the corner, trying his hardest to catch his breath so that he may gather the strength needed to stage a comeback. But Wright trails his retreat, and after reaching his foe, strikes him with a well placed loafer to the chest. Windell's clutches his now wounded pec and stands up. He stumbles away from Wright, grimacing in agony. The Natural is unrelenting in his attack and traps BW in place with a rear waistlock. There's a moment of struggle from the former tag champion, but its easily overcome by Wright who upends him with a bridging German Suplex! Baron hits the mat with crushing impact, and the audience boos the downfall of one of their favorite rising stars. "Yeah, baby, that's the shit I like to see!" Bosley hollers as Buzzlefoxer drops to his weak wobbly knees to count the fall. ONE! TWO! Baron's shoulder finds its way off the mat. The spectators are allowed to breathe a sigh of relief, while Bosley throws what's most likely a roid induced fit. Wright is less exasperated then his high strung cohort, and turns to the audience to declare "You shall give the devil his due!" "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!" COLE That's not quite the due, Wright had in mind, I suppose. COACH Hell yeah, I want some Mountain Dew. Thanks, buddy! Turning his scornful gaze away from the audience and back to his foe, Wright grabs a hold of Windells' white tights and guides him off the canvas. Once fully upright, BW is tangled inside an inverted facelock. He rifles a pair of knees to Wright's face, but The Natural employs swift head movements to defeat BW's escape efforts. With his opponents freedom a near impossibility, CW lifts him into the air, then falls forward to drive his back down onto the canvas with an inverted vertical suplex. The two hundred forty five pounded crashes through the canvas with enough impact to shake the ring to its very core. As Baron immediately throws his hands around his incredibly sore back, Wright continues to inflame the audience, "A man can die but once, but a god such as myself can kill but a million men!" He boasts, and although unsure of what that actually means, the audience strikes at him with shouts of hatred. Leaving Bosley to argue with the annoying fans, Wright drags his battered adversary off the canvas. After softening him up with an elbow to the stomach, The Natural hurls him into the ropes. Baron hits the cables and bounces back with a high knee lift on his mind. But CW is much to fast for him and blitzes the Texan with a diving lariat. "As Baron Windells was valiant, I honor him; but, as he was ambitious, I slew him!" Wright proclaims, getting to his feet with prideful grin. "BOOOOO!" Wright takes a step back from Baron to measure up the Gunslinger and determine just the perfect point to strike. When he finds his target, he rushes forward and levels an elbow upon his backside. Although the blow inflicted a great deal of pain, the tough as nails Windells refuses to show any sort of agony. Instead he grits his teeth, clinches his mighty fist and begins to rise. This show of strength does not sit overly well with CW, and The Finance guru pounds at his face with ferocious fists. Yet even as the verbose grappler pounds away at BW's skull, The Gunslinger continues to rise off the canvas. Frustrated by BW's refusal to be laid out, Wright increases the power behind his numerous blows. No Homo. However, there is no delaying the inevitable and BW finally hits paydirt and strikes at CW with a forearm to the stomach. That lone shot leaves CW weak and wobbly on his knees, unable to prevent Baron from charging towards the ropes.This is monumentally fatal as The Gunslinger returns with full speed to make CW bite his shiny metal ass! "YEAAAAAAAAAA!" Baron attempts to give the audience even more to cheer about as he hooks Wright's leg for a crucial fall. ONE! TWO! Bosley beings sliding into the ring to end the fall. But he reacted a tad too quickly as Wright is able to kick out of the pinfall. The Financial Analyst hastily returns to his feet, meeting Windells with a knee to the midsection upon his rise off the canvas. BW is stunned by the sudden strike, and left double over under hindering pain. Wright takes advantage of BW's unfortunate condition, by locking him down into a front facelock. However, that hold doesn't last for but a brief few seconds before BW calls upon his roughneck might and powers out the hold. Now free of CW's clutches , Baron aims for his rather large head with a lariat! But The Natural swoops bellow the oncoming attack. BW prepares to turn around for his famous Myspace Comeback, but Wright crushes such efforts by driving his loafers into his foe's back with a dropkick. Baron falls forward, landing flat on his handsome face, a none to pleasing sight to those female's in attendance. "Oh shit! Oh shit!" Bosley celebrates "My man Christian is doing it! He's killing it like a king of the jungle should kill it! This dude is intense, baby, and I love it!" COLE What a moron. Due Baron's short but exhausting flurry of offense, Wright needs more then several moments to regain his breath. Unfortunately, this prevents him from capitalizing on any damage he may have caused Windells. While Wright tries to reclaim his lost energy, and BW does the same, the audience roots on the fallen ex tag team champion. Beneath their cries of support for BW, the referee for the match begins a monstrously slow count. Hey, he's 86 he probably thinks he's counting down to his death! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE" At three, which would be seven for competent referees, both gladiators begin to pull themselves off the floor. First to his feet, Wright takes hold of Baron in order to fling him to the ropes. Unfortunately for The Natural, his foe comes roaring back to decimate him with a leaping shoulder block. Just as soon as he crashed into the mats, an aggravated Wright stands back up, daring Windells to come face him. BW happily agrees with this challenge and cuts him down with another shoulder tackle. Now brimming with aggression, The Gunslinger roars out and earns a good pop from the audience. As thrilled as the fans were, Wright is every bit as discussed and tries to lacerate BW with a european uppercut. But with the dexterity of a feather weight boxer, Baron weaves around Wright's signature attack. The snobbish pugilist is pushed off balance by his miss, making him an easy victim to the the spinning elbow BW floors him with! "YEAAAAA!" scream the fans as they watch Wright gracelessly plummet to the mats. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU THINK THIS IS, KID! BUT IT AIN'T ALPHA! IT AIN'T ALPHA ONE BIT!" shouts you-know-who. COLE If he doesn't calm down he's going to have a heart attack...on second thought...keep shouting, Bosley! Alpha! Alpha! Alpha! Grrr! Rawwwwwr! Alpha! Bosley can endure this horrible un-alpha display no longer! His keen alpha instincts, honed by years of of working the unforgiving streets of New York, guide him to the ring apron where he dares BW to stand with the leader of the pride. But, Bosley's braggadocios words are of little matter to a good Ol Texan, and Baron sends him flying from the apron with a single lunging punch! As Bosley goes soaring from the ring apron to land in an enraged an embarrassed crumple on the mats bellow, the fans put out a large cheer for his misfortune. Baron, however, can't take time to cheer Bosley's well deserved downfall, as he has to deal with The Financial Analyst sneaking towards him. Windells is well prepared for his swift arrival, and with all too great an ease guides him onto his shoulders in a standing fireman's carry. Yet, Wright will not partake in whatever plan Baron has schemed and quickly shimmies down his back to try and snare the bronco into a reverse chinlock. But Baron can not be calmed the way Wright had hoped, and he powers right through the basic submission hold. Before Wright has a chance to employ a different strategy, his foe is locking him into a front facelock, the set up for the Brigham Young Cocktail! The audience is now on their feet, ready to count along with a match ending pinfall. But, their joy is premature, as its Wright who may end the match with the Northern Lights Suplex he reverses Baron into. Buzzlefoxer scores the pinfall... ONE! TWO! A kickout by Baron! From his prone position on the mat, Bosley releases a hellish stream of profanities over the count, so vulgar even I'm loathe to repeat them. Back inside the ring, the equally annoyed, but surprisingly more quiet, backs away towards the corner, impatiently awaiting his foe's rise. "Stand thee, knave! Stand thee and perish by my sword!" Wright commands amidst the buzzing of an excited crowd. Eventually Baron follows CW's command, that gives the former HI-YAH world champ all the license he needs to rush in on BW. But Wright's eagerness to attack, creates his own downfall, as BW drag him to the canvas with a drop toe hold. The amazing agony that comes from smacking one's face against the mat, hasn't but a few seconds to settle in before Baron applies and even more anguishing STF! COLE I see a lot of A's of Moneymaker's scouting report for Baron. Who knew he could bust out submissions like this one? Its like he learns something new every match. COACH He oughta learn how to crawl his ass back to Mister Dick. This nigga went from top ten to not mentioned at all. This nigga went from tag titles, to sitting at an announce table praying Krista wouldn't son him on accident. Wright screams and shouts make it seems as though he's being put through chinese water torture, and with the way Baron tugs and torques on his neck Wright would probably foist over CIA secrets just to have freedom. Thankfully, the ropes are near enough that one mighty lunge of his arm is enough to secure a grasp on them. Buzzlefoxer calls for a clean break, and with Baron being such a sportsman, he quickly gives up his hold on Wright. COACH Where's the killer instinct? You gotta rip that man's neck off. That's some ol goody two shoes Tim Cash type mess Baron is pulling. The killer instinct Coach so desperately called for, certainly isn't on display, as Baron backs away to the middle of the ring at Buzzlefoxer's behest. With Windells no where within striking distance for the moment, Wright takes a leisurely approach to returning to combat. He rolls out onto the ring apron, where he simply lies still, waiting to collect his breath. Even to a class act like BW, these shenanigans are just a bit too much. Thus, Baron comes forward and boots CW from his resting place! The Natural suffers through a rather rough landing on the ring mats, but nontheless quickly scurries to his feet. Now upright, he makes a swift return to ring apron, but The Gunslinger is right there to meet him with a punch to the face. Though the blow was delivered with great impact, it doesn't succeed in removing Wright from the ring apron. Thus Wright is able to fire off a punch of his own, and soon the two are engaged in a brutal slugfest. "Come on, baby! Pull some Navy Seal style shit on em! Whip out a knife and shank this dude! Shank em, man! Cut em open, till his guts spill on the floor, then pull down your pants and drop a deuce on that dude! Then take those dooky guts and just shove em right up his pisshole!" I shouldn't need to tell you who screamed that one. COLE Idiot. While Wright doesn't exactly stab Windells, he does the next best thing by ramming Windells head into the ring posts. The Lonestar Gunslinger is knocked dizzy by that attack, and as the fans cringe at his anguish he staggers backwards. With BW preoccupied by his pain, The Natural is able to scale up the ropes, unhindered by his foe. "Fuckin A', baby! Christian Wright, you are my cold blooded straight up killin homie, and I love you, dude! I fuckin love you! Kill this punk, C-Dub! I wanna go to this boys funereal tomorrow! I wanna send his mama a get real card, and then I wanna send her a picture of my junk! My junk! My lovely Bosley junk! Check it out!" "Yes, sire, Bosley, all eyeballs shalt rest upon that which you have thoughtfully anointed to be your junk." Wright turns away and then shudders at the abhorrent thoughts that creep into his head. Unfortunately, Bosley's oddly sated comment does more to distract Wright then assist him. That distraction is what allows Baron to come surging forward and blast him with a big boot! COLE Baron loves that move! There's something else for the scouting report, the kid has a lead foot and it nearly concussed Moneymaker's right hand man. If not a concussion, it certainly dazed CW to the point where he barely seems aware that Windells is joining him atop the turnbuckles. Even as the Gunslinger tightens him into a front facelock, he has little idea he's in any actual danger. "Brigham Young Cocktail!" Baron screams to an approving legion of fans. With the roar of the audience, and those three horrible words, Wright becomes all to aware of the fate that awaits him. As such he frantically motions for his second to spring into action. Hyped up on roids, speed, and AMP energy drinks, Bosley arrives within a mere second. He grabs onto CW's slacks and with his chemically enhanced strength rips him free of Windells' grip. Although BW tries his hardest to hold onto CW, the former NYPD officer manages to safely cart him to the outside mats. The audience is incredibly displeased with Bosley's meddling and informs him of it with jeers and catcalls. COACH That's the advantage of being in a stable, ya always got someone to watch your back. The Gunslinger ain't smart enough to realize their ain't no profit to be made in being a lone star. Baron leans over the ropes and demands that CW and Bosley return. Yet both are two busy having what looks to be rather casual and laid back chat. As laid back as Bosley can get, I suppose. After careful consideration, Wright and Bosley reach a consensus on whatever they were discussing. With both men in agreement, Wright summons a microphone from a ringside attendant. "BOOOOO!" the fans spew their hatred, forcing to Wright to glare in impatience until they'll finally cease and desist. WRIGHT Mister Windells, it is with appertaining compunction that I do cast you these bitter sweet farewells. Yet, let us not be bedfellows with indignation or displeasure! Instead let us be merry, for you have served this scouting exercise quite well. The Enterprise accords you with appreciation for your participation in this athletic exhibition. For now, Detective Bosley and I can only offer you good byes, but we do hope to have the pleasure of a more extended and permanent acquaintance with you at a later date. Adieu. Just like that, Wright discards the microphone and he Bosley begin a retreat up the ramp. The audience is livid and blast them with raging furnace of anger. Windells is slightly more subdued in his reaction, staring off with his mind clouded by curiosity over this odd scouting test. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, referee Clem Buzzlefoxer has declared this bout a no contest! "BOOOOOOO!" COLE What the heck was that? Christian Wright and Tango Bosley just packed up shop and headed home! They just abandoned this entire match. That's insane. COACH They got what they came for. They wanted to see what Baron Windels had, test him out, get a read on him. This wasn't about winning a match, this was about collecting information. COLE Information for what though? I assume we'll find out in the weeks to come. Fans, stay tuned for more HeldDOWN after this! COMMERCIAL

Backstage, we find Jade Rodez-Duncan, stood at the door of the In Crowd locker room. There on the other side of the divide is none other than Zack Malibu, in mid-conversation, while Jade leans up against the door frame nervously rubbing a hand up and down her right shoulder. MALIBU - but listen, you know all about what they're like, right? JADE Uh... you could say that, uh-huh. MALIBU Well don't worry, things are gonna start turning around here real soon, and for the better, I can promise you that. Look, if you're busy I can always pass a message on to Leon when he shows up, get him to come find you. JADE Oh no, no, it wasn't Leon I came to see actually. MALIBU Oh? JADE Yeah... uhm... look, can I... Before Jade can finish, in the back of the shot we see BOHEMOTH walking past, setting his bag down next to a folding chair. JADE I actually came to speak to Bo. May I? MALIBU Go right ahead. Zack lets Jade past and decides to head off himself, as a clearly still nervous Jade makes her way in. Putting down his copy of Muscle and Fitness, Bohemoth looks up and flicks his shades up over his head as Jade comes to a stop. BOHEMOTH Hey Jade, what's up? JADE Oh, uh... nothing much. Listen, can... can we talk? BOHEMOTH Sure we can, you know I'm always happy to lend an ear. Lemme guess, Maya hogging one of your fourteen bathrooms again? JADE Well, something like that... actually, no, nothing like that... uhm... listen, I just wanted to come and ask you... what you thought, about... uh... The Lions firing Matt Millen? Raising a curious eyebrow, Bohemoth looks up at Jade. BOHEMOTH The Lions? JADE Yeah. We don't have a team in LA and Mom doesn't really approve of football anyway, maybe because LA doesn't have a team like I said earlier, so I'm sticking with them, but it's not really something I can talk to her about is it? Heh. BOHEMOTH Well, I guess I figure it's about time. What about you? JADE Me? Ohh... oh, yeah, he was the worst. Couldn't call a play if he was... an announcer at the theatre? BOHEMOTH Probably not. Leon's more of an expert on the Lions than me though, maybe you oughta take it up with him. JADE Yeah, maybe. Anyway, thank you. BOHEMOTH No problem. Jade turns to leave, but stops. Gritting her teeth she can be seen mumbling something to herself, possibly words of encouragement as she forces herself to turn back around and get Bo's attention away from his muscle mag once more. JADE Uh, there was one more teensy thing. BOHEMOTH Shoot. JADE Well... look, I was thinking that... maybe one day, after the show... you and me could... uhm, you know... go out sometime? I mean it doesn't have to be tonight or anything and really any time that you're not doing anything else would be fine I just thought it might be nic... BOHEMOTH Hang on a second, hold up. *stands up* Are you asking me what I think you're asking me? Jade sorta nods. Only sorta. BOHEMOTH Oh man. Listen, Jade, don't take this the wrong way or anything but, you and me? You're a really sweet girl, but, that's the thing. You're a sweet girl. It just wouldn't work. Hell, we've been friends for something like two years now and I know you probably think that since we get on so well, that's the next step. But it's not how it works. I guess I should be flattered you've got a crush on me... but that's all it is. Okay? Sadly, Jade hangs her head, managing to give another of her 'sorta nods'. BOHEMOTH Listen, I'm sorry. We're still friends, right? JADE Of course we are. It's just me being silly, that's all. I don't know what even gave me the idea, heh! BOHEMOTH So we're cool? JADE Cool as a... ice! I guess one half-decent metaphor is as much as you can hope for in one segment. Anyway, Jade puts on a smile as she leaves the locker room, only breaking once her back is definately turned to Bohemoth. We hear hurried footsteps scurrying off as Bohemoth just sighs, shaking his head as he goes back to his magazine. COLE Don't say anything, Coach. COACH About what? COLE You know. COACH What? What? What do you think I'm gonna say? I'm curious. I'm seriously curious. COLE Something like "The simps here be like Brandon Fraiser in Bedazzled, trynna sell they soul to the devil to wish her mother wasn't a lesbian. A dude woulda rather suck the sweat off his daddy's ball sack before he ever turned down a date with Krista. This bitch can't even get a date with a dude who looks like his spray on tan is Sunny Delight. Dude got a triangle head. He got a pyramid head with the all seeing eye at the tip. That ugly wrinkly orange muthafucca should have been in the car biggie got shot in. Let the late great veteran live. Her mama dating a girl who used to model for Victoria's Secret, and that ho can't turn a trick on ol conehead? TOUGH BREAK BITCH!" COACH Uh.....time for a commercial? COLE Yes. Time for a commercial. COMMERCIAL

From the arena we go backstage, to find the troubled figure of Leon Rodez roaming the hallways. Head down and avoiding the various OAOAST workers he passes on his way, Leon suddenly comes to a stop, as he finds who he's looking for apparantly. There stands Landon Maddix, busy talking over strategy with Megan Skye ahead of his match tonight in what was a secluded part of the arena. Megan quickly points Leon out and Landon turns around to face him. MADDIX Something you want? LEON Easy. I just came to speak to Megan. MADDIX Oh, really? Well, I hate to break it to you hot stuff, but although the name begins with the right letter, she's not a Nerdly, so your charms aren't gonna work on her. Doing his best to ignore the wide grin on Landon's face, Leon lets the insult go. LEON Look, after last week there's some things I need to do to put my mind at rest. And I know a few weeks ago, Reject got to you and hit you with the Eulogy. I know we've never gotten along, but that's not important. None of this mess would have ever come to pass if it wasn't for me and Maggie falling out and... you got caught in the crossfire, so I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for what happened to you. Megan takes a dubious look at Landon, who starts to chuckle under his breath. MEGAN The Eulogy? Who cares!? That was weeks ago. Give me some credit. I'm a lot tougher than the bimbos that you associate yourself with. MADDIX Yeah that's right, you bimbo associator! Go take your damaged little conscience elsewhere and find somebody who might give a damn for your pity. That is if any other female in this company will even give you the time of day anymore. And, a little word of advice, after watching your match last week. If you're within three feet, you might want to keep those knees close tight together. You know... just incase. Chuckling to himself again Landon wraps an arm around Megan and takes her to find another place to discuss their match in private. Leon is left standing with hands on hips, looking sorrier for himself than he did before. #It's too late to 'pologize... it's too laaaatteeee... said it's to late to apolo...# Leon slowly turns and glares, as a few feet away stands ALIX MARIA SPEZIA outside a dressing room door. Moving her hand up and down in the air trying to find her 'range', she suddenly notices she's being stared at and her eyebrows raise. ALIX Oh... uh, sorry, I'll go practise somewhere else. Quickly she ducks back into the dressing room, leaving Leon to go back to his hands on hips state. ALIX (off-screen) #Oh, I like your mother so much better when she's naked, I like your mother so much better when she's naked, I like your mothe...# JADE (off-screen) Will you stop singing that at me!? COACH Ha, Leon straight stays getting burned! Whack this guy in a straightjacket and lock him away before the depression gets any worse! COLE Have you got no compassion? All Leon was trying to do was apologize for what happened to Megan a few weeks back. COACH Yeah well, if he's thinking of apologizing to everybody he needs to, he's in for a long ass night. He might wanna start with the girlfriend he's on a trial separation with, maybe that'd be a good idea. COLE I think it''d be a good idea if we took a break! COMMERCIAL

hi

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Christian Wright Vs Baron Windells Not a filler match! Although we do need matches, but this match actually has purpose besides me showing off my knowledge of voodoo

I kno dudes round here ain't trynna act like the dodgers didn't PUT IN DAT WORK

COLE Folks, it's time for our steel cage main event between Reject and Leon Rodez, and this one has been brewing for several weeks! Perhaps it will all be over tonight! Let's go to Michael Buffer! *DING DING DING* BUFFER LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen...it is now time for our main event of the evening! Tonight, from Columbus, Ohio, two of the most bitter rivals in our sport today, look to settle their score inside this 15-foot high steel cage. The rules are escape, submission, or pinfall. ARE YOU READY? *crowd cheers* BUFFER Columbus, Ohio...ARRRRRRRRRRRE YYYYOUUUUUUUUUU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYY??? *crowd cheers* BUFFER Then for the thousands in attendance here in Columbus, and the millions watching around the world...there's only one thing left to say. Ladies and gentlemen...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRRRRRREADYYYYYYY TO RRRRRRRRRRUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! Final Ride by TRU hits, and the lights go out, then a single spotlight shines on the entryway, as Reject makes his way through the curtains. BUFFER Coming to the ring at this time...he hails from the Bronx, and he weighs in at 229 1/4 pounds. Representing the Deadly Alliance...he is one-half of the reigning OAOAST World tag team champions...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECT!!!!! COACH This is going to end tonight, Cole! Didn't you hear what Reject said to Jade earlier? COLE And in the warped mind of Reject, a decisive victory here tonight over the Grand Rapids Golden Child will mean vindication! This man has been on a deadly mean streak over the past two months...he landed first Molly Nerdly, and now Leon's girlfriend Maggie Nerdly, in the hospital! He has assaulted Landon Maddix's valet, Megan Skye! At AngleSlam, he gave a concussion to one half of D*LUX, Shayne Brave! About a month ago, he broke the wrist of big Jumbo in a heinous assault! And he would love to add Leon Rodez to that list tonight! Reject approaches the ring with a serious look on his face, then looks up at the cage. He then walks into the door, and waits patiently in his corner. COACH Oh boy, is he ready for this one. Rock the Casbah by Trust Company hits, and the crowd goes crazy as Leon Rodez walks through the curtains, slapping hands with the fans on his way down the aisle. BUFFER And ladies and gentlemen, his opponent...he hails from Grand Rapids, Michigan, and weighs in at 218 pounds. Representing the Love Generation, and the In-Crowd...he is "SILKY SMOOTH" LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOODEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!! COLE And for Leon Rodez, this is about getting even! It was of course Reject that brutalized and hospitalized his girlfriend, Maggie Nerdly... COACH Let me cut you off right there, Cole. Don't simplify this thing to make your boy Leon smell likes roses here! It was Maggie who put Reject on and then stabbed him in the back, and all because of Leon's jealousy! Well, Maggie got her visit from the karma fairy, now it's Leon's turn tonight! COLE ...I can't believe you would even...say that. COACH Why not, it's the truth! That's how I do, son, I keeps it real! Leon opens the cage door, and as soon as he steps through, he's ambushed by Reject! *DING DING DING* COLE And Reject striking right away! Reject drags Leon into a corner, and begins firing away with right hands. He then grabs Leon's head, and rams his face into the canvas! COLE Reject starting off very aggressively here on Leon Rodez! COACH Leon hasn't even got out of the blocks yet, Cole! Reject drags Leon back into the corner, then delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! He then climbs to the second buckle and begins delivering punches, but Leon drags him out, and delivers an inverted atomic drop! COLE But Leon quick to respond! Leon then backs into the ropes, and delivers a flying forearm! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Leon goes to pick up Reject, but Reject goes to the eyes, then gets to his feet and delivers a kick to the gut, and attempts to ram Leon into the cage! COLE Reject looking to ram Leon into those steel bars! However, Leon blocks, and delivers a big right hand to the midsection, then floors him with a dropkick! He follows up with a knee to the sternum, then starts climbing the cage. COACH And look, Leon's running away already! COLE He is not! If you climb over the cage to the floor, you win the match! Reject gets to his feet, and grabs Leon's leg, hammering him with forearms to the back, until Leon comes back down, then executes a snap suplex! Reject then attempts to climb the cage. COLE And now Reject looking to make the climb! Leon gets to his feet, though, and hammers Reject in the gut, then pulls him off the top rope and falls back with a suplex! COLE Nice suplex by Leon Rodez, pulling Reject right down off the top rope! Leon lays on the mat for a second, then goes for the door. COLE The door is open, Leon looking to escape and win the match! Reject crawls over and grabs Leon's foot, then gets to his feet and pulls him to the center of the ring. He kicks away at Leon's leg, then picks him up and whips him into the corner. He charges, but Leon gets his feet up, then runs towards Reject, and flies past him, using both hands to slam his face into the mat! COLE Leon with a nice counter move! Leon covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Leon then turns, and goes for the door. COLE And Leon going for the door once again! Reject turns over, then grabs the foot of Leon, and pulls him back inside, then leaps for the door! COACH OH! Come on, Reject! COLE Now Reject almost out! Leon struggles over to grab Reject's foot, then pulls him inside, and drives an elbow into the back of his head! Leon then attempts to climb the cage. COLE And Leon looking to climb now! Reject gets back to his feet, and grabs the leg of Leon, forcing him to turn around on the top rope, at which point Reject grabs him and slams him back inside! Reject then begins to climb the cage in a corner. COLE And now Reject going up! Leon climbs up after Reject, and grabs him from behind by the face, then the two begin to exchange blows on the top rope! COLE And look at these two men, slugging it out on the top rope! You can feel the hatred here! Suddenly, Reject grabs Leon's head, and rams his face into the steel bars! COLE Leon's face into the side of the cage! Leon falls to the mat, and Reject turns around on the top rope, and drops the MACHO MAN ELBOW~!!! COLE Big elbowdrop from Reject! Both men lay on the mat for several seconds, before Reject KIPS UP~! as the crowd boos. COACH OH YEAH~! Reject then HOPS onto the top rope, grabbing the cage simultaneously, and begins to climb! COLE Reject is almost out! Leon slowly gets to his feet, and begins to climb after him, grabbing a leg as Reject has straddled the cage. COACH He's got one leg out! Reject is going to do it! Leon forces Reject back down onto the top rope, then climbs up with him, as another slugfest ensues. Leon gets the better of the exchange, then grabs Reject by the back of the tights, and rams him back-first into the cage! COACH Oh no! As Reject falls to the mat, Leon gains his balance on the rope...and attempts the 450 SPLASH~!!!!!!11111 ...but Reject rolls out of the way! COLE And Leon was going for the finish right there, but nobody home! Reject slowly gets to his feet, and grabs Leon in a standing headscissors. COACH Could be a piledriver! However, Leon escapes with a backdrop! COLE But Leon with the counter! Leon then runs to the ropes, as Reject rolls to his stomach, Leon hops over, and then they hit each other with a double clothesline! COLE Double clothesline, both men out on the mat! The crowd rises to its feet, as both men lay out. COLE And the fans showing their appreciation for an outstanding steel cage main event here on HeldDOWN~! After both men lay on the mat for several seconds, they start to stir, and then Reject crawls for the door. COLE Reject making another attempt to get out the door... Leon drags him back inside, then picks him up to his feet. Reject goes to the eyes, then attempts a spinkick, but Leon ducks...and delivers a jab! COACH Uh-oh... Leon delivers a second jab! A third! A fourth! Leon then turns to the crowd and blows them a kiss, before turning back around and drilling Reject with an ENZIGURI~! COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! And Leon looks to have turned the tide here! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Leon watches as Reject crawls to the ropes, and drapes himself across the middle rope. COLE Uh-oh, Reject just set himself up for a move! Leon does his little dance, then runs to the rope, and comes back, crashing down with all his weight! COLE CALL THAT BITCH BOJANGLES~! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Reject gets the shoulder up! Leon then makes his way over and starts climbing the cage. Reject drags himself to where Leon is, then pulls himself up and grabs Leon by the leg. He pulls Leon down to the top rope, then grabs him off the top in a torture rack, dropping back to the mat with him! COLE Modified Samoan drop, and a cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Reject chokes away at Leon for a few seconds, then crawls for the door. Leon crawls towards Reject, and grabs his foot, as Reject has his hands all the way down on the arena floor. COACH Look, he's out! This match should be over! COLE No, Coach, your whole body has to be out of the cage! As Leon starts to pull Reject back in, Reject grabs the ring apron, then reaches underneath the ring. He lets go of the apron, and as he's dragged back in, a BARBED WIRE BAT is dragged in with him! COLE Oh, no. COACH Oh yes! COLE Where did that thing come from? However, Leon spots it, and hops over, standing on it, then kicking Reject in the face! He then picks up Reject, and rams him into the steel cage! COLE And Reject into the wall of the cage once again! Leon then starts to climb the cage in a corner, straddling the top of it. COLE Leon's gonna win it! He's almost out! Leon then gets the other leg over, but Reject gets there just in time, and pulls him back over by the hair. Reject then climbs up a couple bars from the top rope, and grabs Leon in a front facelock. COACH Oh, a suplex, Cole! COLE They are high above the ring for this move! Reject brings Leon down with a HUGE SUPERPLEX~! COLE And Reject with the superplex, from about halfway in between the top rope and the top of the cage! Both men are out of it! Crowd: HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! Reject gets to his feet, and makes his way over to the cage. COACH Reject should cover here, I think! He's making a mistake! Reject climbs the cage in the corner, climbing over the top, then climbing back up to the top. COACH Now what's he doing? COLE Oh my God... Reject gets his balance on top of the cage, and holds his arms out. COLE Reject 15 feet above the ring... As Leon gets to his feet, Reject comes down on him with a CHOP FROM THE TOP OF THE CAGE~!!! COLE And he NAILED Leon! COACH THAT IS IT! Reject falls away from Leon, then drags himself over and drapes an arm... 1... 2... NO!!! Leon gets the shoulder up! COACH WHAT? COLE Leon came out of it! I can't believe it! Reject then climbs the cage once again, and once again gets his balance on the top. COACH He's gonna do it again! He's making a mistake! Reject jumps off the top as Leon gets to his feet...but Reject gets caught with a DROPKICK TO THE STERNUM~!!! COLE And he got caught that time! What a dropkick by Leon! Both men lay on the mat, then Leon makes his way to his feet, and hooks Reject's legs, executing a SLINGSHOT INTO THE CAGE~!!! COACH No, no, no! Come on, Reject! COLE And Reject has been busted open! COACH Oh, no! Leon picks up Reject, and rams his face into the cage once again, then begins to climb. COLE And Leon could end it right here! Leon is able to straddle the cage once again, but Reject pulls himself up, and grabs Leon by the leg, then reaches through and grabs his other leg, then jerks his legs down! COACH COLE And Leon in a precarious position up there... COACH Looks like there'll be no Nerdly babies running around, from any of the Nerdly siblings! COLE Will you shut up? Reject then begins to climb, getting high enough to hit Leon with a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! The impact of the chop sends Leon over the side of the cage, where he hangs on with his hands, with his back against the cage! COLE Whoa whoa whoa! And Reject may have made a mistake there! COACH Yeah, but if Leon drops to the floor from there, he'll end up the big loser here! That's a long drop! Reject reaches through the bars and starts to choke Leon, but Leon manages to catch one of Reject's fingers, and starts biting on it! COACH Look at that cheater! COLE No rules in a cage match, Coach! Reject turns around, and checks on his finger, as Leon skins the cat back over the top of the cage...and in one motion, TAKES REJECT OFF THE TOP ROPE WITH A HURRICANRANA~!!! COLE/COACH Crowd: HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! COLE An incredible hurricanrana by Leon Rodez! I've never seen that variant done before! Leon slowly drags himself over to Reject, and drapes an arm over him... 1... 2... NO!!! Reject gets the shoulder up! COACH And how about that for incredible? Reject able to kick out! COLE We have two incredible athletes in this ring right now! Leon crawls towards a corner, and begins to climb the cage. COLE And maybe now, Leon Rodez will finish this match off! However, Reject crawls over and grabs the barbed-wire bat, using it to push himself to his feet. COACH Reject's back up, though, and he's got the bat! Reject staggers over to Leon, and JAMS THE BAT UP INTO HIS CROTCH~! COLE OH, no. Leon is forced to drop back down, and when he does, Reject waits, BLASTING him with a bat shot across the forehead! COLE And now right to the skull, and both men now busted wide open! Reject looks down on the bloodied Leon for a second, then drops the bat, and hooks Leon in the R-LOCK~!!!!!11111 COACH This is it, Cole! COLE Reject with the R-Lock applied! The groggy Leon slowly inches towards the ropes, but Reject pulls him back out to the center! COACH It's all over for your boy! Suddenly, Leon gets a burst of energy, and pushes up off his hands, then tucks his head underneath and rolls, forcing Reject down to the mat! COLE What a counter, Reject hitting the mat right on his face! Leon then turns around and picks up Reject's legs, applying the LIONTAMER~!!!!!11111 COLE And now the Liontamer applied by Leon Rodez! COACH I can't believe this. Leon plants the knee into Reject's head! COLE And Reject is incapacitated! He's going to have to tap! Reject reaches valiantly for the bat. COACH Look at this, though! That's his only hope, if he can reach that bat! Reject finally is able to grab hold of the mat, and manages to dig the barbed wire right into the knee of Leon! COLE Look at this! Leon screams in pain, before finally releasing the hold! COACH What a match this is, Cole! This is probably the best free TV match I've seen in a long time! Reject slowly crawls over to Leon with the bat, and begins digging the barbed wire into his wound! COLE And Reject with that barbed wire once again! Reject then gets to his feet, and re-applies the R-LOCK~!!!!!11111, this time hooking Leon in a body scissors and dropping to the mat. COACH Haha, no clever reversals this time, nowhere to go for Leon Rodez! Suddenly the crowd begins to cheer, as the camera cuts to the aisle, where Melissa Nerdly is running down! COLE Hey! It's Melissa! Thank God she's okay! Melissa pleads with the referee to let her inside, but after her offer is refused, she bitchslaps the referee and takes the key, letting herself in! COACH What in the hell is Melissa thinking? Melissa drops to her knees next to Reject and pleads with him to release the hold. After several more seconds, Reject obliges, and stalks Melissa into a corner. COLE This is not good at all. Melissa, sitting on the mat, scoots all the way back into the corner, as Leon gets to his feet behind Reject. Reject hovers over Melissa, who comes up to her knees, as Leon charges Reject, who moves, and Leon stops himself right in front of Melissa... ...who HITS HIM WITH A LOW BLOW~! COACH WHOA~! COLE WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!?! Melissa Nerdly just gave a low blow to Leon! Leon doubles over in pain, as Melissa gets to her feet, and SLAPS Leon across the face! COLE And now a slap! The slap turns Leon around, allowing Reject to hit him with the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 COLE And the Eulogy by Reject! Reject lays on top of Leon... 1... 2... 3!!! COACH YYYYYYYYYESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS~! COLE DAMN IT~!! *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen...the winner, of the steel cage match...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECT!!!!! Melissa re-enters the cage, with Reject's title belt over her right shoulder. COLE And now, what's Melissa doing with Reject's belt??? Reject pulls himself to his feet, then makes his way over to Melissa. The two stare at each other for a second, before Reject reaches his right arm around Melissa's neck, to her right arm, grabbing his belt...then Melissa reaches her left hand up, grabbing Reject behind the neck, and PULLING HIM FOR A BIG KISS! COACH COLE FANS COLE I can't believe this! This whole thing, from Melissa's "exclusive" interviews with Leon, to the hotel, to this match, it was all a setup! But why? Why would Melissa do something like this? After the kiss is finished, the two smile at each other, then Reject pulls his belt off of her shoulder back around her neck, as Melissa wipes some of Reject's blood off of her lips, with a big smile on her face. Reject picks up the barbed wire bat with his left hand, then places his right foot on the chest of Leon, and raises both hands, as Melissa kneels down next to him, and wraps her right arm around his waist, rubbing his abdominal section with her left hand. COLE What a disgusting scene this is! COACH That's your opinion, Cole! This is the most beautiful thing that's happened in this company in months! This is vindication for Reject! He has exorcised his demons! Finally, this chapter is over, and he can move on with his life! COLE Well...that's just a sickening thing to say, and completely untrue. Reject holds the ropes open for Melissa, ala Randy Savage. COLE And look at this, give me a break! COACH Who says Reject doesn't have respect for women? Reject and Melissa exit the cage, and Melissa raises Reject's hand in the aisle. COACH You know, there is a bright side to this, Cole...Leon can go share a hospital bed with his girlfriend now! COLE Fuck you. I'm Michael Cole, we'll see you next week. COACH Hey, where's my credit? COLE I got you credit right here, bitch. Reject raises Melissa's hand in the entryway, then pulls her in for another kiss as we... FADE TO BLACK

THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD I promise a new theme song. I DELIVER A NEW THEME SONG. Into the arena we go where we stop nobody knows. hold up right quick. we got too much swag in here! COLE Hey, do you think Melody could photoshop me and my girlfriend on the moon? COLE We both always wanted to be astronauts! COACH Look like you already there, nigga. *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The never tedious Double C pre-ample is finally cut into, "Liberate" by Disturbed powering through the arena bringing the crowd to their feet. COLE And what a way to kick off HeldDOWN~!, with The Meterosexual Monster, Bohemoth!! Amped up, Bohemoth marches to the ring as many hands reach out to pat him on the back. *DINGDING!* BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, from Greenville, South Carolina... weighing two hundred, eighty four pounds... "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER" BBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHHEEEEEEEMMMMOOOOOOOTTTHHHHHHH!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Bo jogs up the ring steps and into the ring, flexing his freakishly huge muscles on the second rope. The crowd continue to go wild as he hits the big pose for the other side of the arena as well, clearly feeling it tonight. COLE Bohemoth coming off a real war at Zero Hour in the Boiler Room Brawl. But, it's safe to say that both Christian and CPA crashed harder than the US economy at the hands of the bigman! COACH Why you gotta joke about that, huh? I lost $8.25 mill just last week and you out here playing the funny man? COLE I... I didn't know. COACH Yeah, well, you do now. As Bohemoth paces in the middle of the ring, the mood changes as the drums begin to roll. And to the surely infringing on copyrights by being played on an OAOAST show sounds of "Jive Soul Bro" struts Sweetness himself, Lucius Soul. Combing at his beloved afro Soul wears a big smile on his face as he stops halfway down the aisle, breaking out into some jive soul dancing before re-tending to his 'fro. Behind him, a more serious Rico de Janeiro backs him up, stroking his 70's 'stache to two young ladies in the aisle. BUFFER And his opponent. Representing The Mardi Gras HomeWrecking Crew... he hails from New Orleans, Lousiana. Weighing one hundred, eighty eight pounds... "SWEET" LLLUUUUUUUCCIIIIIIUUUUSSSSS... SSSSSOOOOOOUUUUUUULLLLL!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Lucius pimp-walks his way around ringside and seems pretty confident, all things considered. He climbs to the apron and combs away at his 'fro a little more, before leaping in over the top rope, even daring to wave Bohemoth out of his way as he busts a few more jiving moves. COACH Oh yeah, break it down my brother! COLE Lucius in high spirits tonight... and I can't possibly think why he would be. COACH You can't? You said it yourself, Bo went through a war with CDub on Sunday night. He must still be feeling the effects and in that case, it's the best possible time for Lucius to be facing him, no? Putting his comb safely in the back pocket of his beige pants, Lucius is ready to go. Bohemoth just smirks at his opponent. *DINGDINGDING!* As soon as the bell sounds Lucius starts to step confidently forward. His confidence disappears the moment Bohemoth scoops him off his feet and runs him back aggressively into the turnbuckles! Bohemoth drives his shoulder repeatedly into the gut, three, four, five times before the referee forces him to break. Looking shocked by the attack, Lucius is dragged out of the corner and knocked off his feet with a short arm clothesline! COLE So much for that theory. Stumbling on his feet, Lucius gets grabbed around the head and thrown face-first into a turnbuckle. Right hands then beat him down into a seated position against the bottom turnbuckle. COLE Oh, hey, Lucius, you've got a little something on your face there... Coming off the ropes, Bohemoth charges... AND DELIVERS THE FACEWASH IN THE CORNER!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE ...nevermind, you got it. COACH Har har. Have you noticed how all your jokes are at other people's expense there, mister comedian? Or should I say mister jerk? Rico stops stroking his porn 'stache confidently and starts to stroke his porn 'stache worriedly. It's pretty much the same thing, except his eyes are full of fear you see. Anyway, as Rico worries over his partner, Bohemoth pulls him up by the seat of the pants. A shove in the back sends Lucius into the ropes, scooped up on the rebound and DRIVEN into the canvas with the Front Spinebuster!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE Uh-oh. The beginning of the end! Sensing the same, Rico stops stroking and leaps to the apron to try and provide a distraction. Bohemoth knocks him flying with one right hand though, sending the Brazilian splattering into the ringside mats. COLE Down goes Rico, that's what he gets for stiking his moustache where it doesn't belong! COACH A moustache like that belongs wherever Rico wants it to. Bohemoth turns back and looks around the arena. Lucius is still struggling to stir and looks to be easy pickings, as the people of Columbus stand and start giving the signal. The fired up bigman does a couple of circles of the ring before Bohemoth comes to a stop on one side of the ring. Thumbs Up. THUMBS DOWN~! COLE Bohemoth is not getting paid by the hour. Getting to his feet, Lucius is shaken up by the spinebuster and so is his 'fro. His first concern is to reach into his back pocket and grab his comb. Despite shaking like a leaf he does his best to comb the 'fro as he turns around, right into The Meterosexual Monster's arms! Bohemoth carries Lucius into position, before swinging him around... ...out... ...and DOWN~! COLE An Erotic Awakening For B, an empthatic lights out for Lucius!! 1... 2... 3!! *DINGDINGDING!* "Liberate" powers out again as Bohemoth hits the turnbuckles and flexes the muscles one more time. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... BBOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHHEEEEEEEMMMMOOOTTHHHHHH!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE The bigman showing no signs of fatigue or hangover from Zero Hour and he is rolling! Climbing off the turnbuckles, Bohemoth stands over Lucius with the referee jumping in to make sure Bohemoth doesn't do any more damage. He's done plenty enough as it is though and just wants to take a last look at the carnage, before he leaves the ring. COLE And in this kind of mood and this kind of form, who in the hell is going to be able to stop Bohemoth!? COACH How about the US police on charges of ra... COLE Are we still hung up on that? You'd think if anything was going to happen by now, a- it would have and b- there'd be some concrete proof come to light, besides an unmarked brown plastic bag and a whole bunch of accusations. Bo walks back up the aisle to the applause of the crowd, turning back to treat the crowd to one more flex of the muscles. What's left of Lucius and Rico are helped out as Bohemoth watches on, barely able to hold back a smile. Bohemoth then turns back to the entrance way and starts to leave. "We're running with the Shadows Of The Night So baby take my hand, you'll be all right Surrender all your dreams to me tonight They'll come true in the end" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Wait a second! Coming to a sudden stop halfway up the ramp, Bohemoth stands with hands on hips as out head the collectives forces of CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL, cutting him off! Landon leads the way with a sour look on his face, with Megan and James Blonde close behind him. Somewhere off behind come the more individual forces of Faqu (wearing the scars of the Heartland Chamber Of Hell), Nathaniel Black and Todd Cortez. There's an awkward moment in the aisle as Landon and Bohemoth come face to face, before Landon and co. breeze by him. A couple of seconds later it's Faqu coming face to face with The Meterosexual Monster and he's much more unpredictable. So it's lucky that James Blonde is paying attention and is able to drag Faqu away before the two can come to blows. Once all members of CI are past him, Bohemoth continues to stand with hands on hips watching them briefly, before he shakes his head and is finally able to leave. COLE An... awkward moment there, as a clearly impatient Landon Maddix makes his way out to the ring with his followers, for the lack of a better word. And Todd Cortez. COACH Oh no, he's a follower too. Whether he likes it or not. The members of Cucaracha Internacional enter the ring and assemble with Landon at the front of the crowd, holding a microphone in his hand. Landon scowls as the boos and shouts of abuse rain down on him, waiting for some sense of quiet before he begins. MADDIX For those of you with your heads firmly under the rocks of ignorance, you might be wondering why I wasn't at Zero Hour this past Sunday night. Well, let's just say, I had more important things to take care of. COLE Referring to Genesis IX, the SWF's pay per view. COACH I thought they were straight to DVD. COLE Well they... I'll tell you later. MADDIX And when I came back, I expected to be back with renewed energy. A renewed vigour. Renewed happiness and I can guarantee you that last one is a crock for a start! See, I watched Zero Hour on Pay Per View. And what did I see? I saw Theodore Moneymaker marching around this ring like he owned it, as usual. I saw my Samoan savage Faqu step into the Chamber Of Hell and walk out of it without the Heartland Title. I saw my spiritual muse, my darling Megan Skye, step into the ring with the Women's Champion... and LOSE. And worst of all, I had to sit there and watch Krista Isadora Duncan putting out her own special brand of farce, just days after having to watch her do it in person on my SWF Pay Per View! Landon paces the ring, until James Blonde halts him. BLONDE Did you see the pre-show Landon? I won my match! MADDIX I did see that. And let's just say it was a small high on a night of many lows. Despite less than impressive praise, Blonde is happy enough and goes back to the group with a smug self-satisified smile. MADDIX Lately it's one step forward and two steps back for us. Genesis gave me a chance to take a timeout, to recharge my batteries. To sit down and to assess things. And maybe that's why I'm not in such a good mood. Because right now, Cucaracha Internacional isn't up to my standards. Landon turns to his group expecting sorry looks. He gets one from Megan at least, but Black and Cortez are both straight-faced, Blonde is still grinning away and Faqu is Faqu. MADDIX The past few months there's been claims and counter-claims about who the top group in the OAOAST is. Is it The Enterprise? The Deadly Alliance? The In Crowd? Or is it us. And I know deep down, it should be us. So, why isn't it? Why aren't we getting the credit we deserve? Maybe it's because we're not out there making huge statements. Well, that's not what this is about. I see other groups morally bankrupting themselves, as they do whatever it takes to ruin people's careers and livelihoods. I see other groups in four on one attacks, five on one attacks. I see other groups pouring candlewax on people's backs and shoving them into jets of red-hot steam. That's not what we're about. We're the #1 group in the OAOAST, because we're the BEST. We are the best collection of talent in the OAOAST. And that should count for everything. See to us, it's not about who can make the biggest noise or cause the most controversy. It's about gold! It's about kudos. It's about bragging rights. Landon turns back to his group. MADDIX We're International superstars... and it's about time we started ACTING like it! As the looks get a little more apologetic than before from all but Cortez, Landon then turns back to the hard camera. MADDIX And then, you'll all realise just why we are the elite force in the OAOAST. Dropping the microphone, a still agitated Landon waves for his troops to follow him as he leaves the ring. A slightly more agreeable Megan signals that they should probably listen and that works, except for Blonde who virtually dives out of the ring at the first sign from Landon. Blonde tracks his mentor up the aisle with the rest following behind. COLE Landon Maddix making it very clear to his associates, he's sick of playing second-fiddle to anyone or any group and with the mood he's in right now, they might be well served to pay attention. COACH Well I gotta be honest and say these guys have been under-achieving recently, it's true. But you can't say that Landon was wrong about anything he just said, they've got the talent. COLE So you're saying he was right about them having more talent than The Enterprise? Or The Deadly Alliance? COACH ....I think they're all very reputable organisations. COLE That's what I thought. COMMERCIAL

We return from break only to be greeted by the first appearance on this show in over five years of a former fan favorite. Zack Malibu's former girlfriend, and the original In Crowd's valet, Alison, is standing in the ring, showered with boos. Standing alongside her is the leader of The Enterprise, Theodore Moneymaker, who has made Zack Malibu a target after ousting Malibu's close friend Anglesault from power in the OAOAST. ALISON It seems like it only took a handful of days for you people to be brainwashed by your precious savior. So go ahead, boo me, people. Boo me, but when you come to realize the truth of what I said this past Sunday night, don't expect me to accept the apologies! Whether Alison thought that would help or not, it doesn't, because the boos continue. ALISON I heard Zack earlier, and all I have to say is...does Zack even KNOW what he's talking about lately? First, he tries to save face by saying he never had anything bad to say about me...and then he proceeds to go on and try to verbally tear me apart? As if I CARE what he thinks anymore? COLE Well, she certainly did at one point...and I think she missed the part of Zack's promo where he said his anger stems from his family being brought into this. COACH Excuses, excuses. ALISON I have news for you, Zackary. If you thought Zero Hour was a one time thing, a chance meeting of two former friends, well, you're wrong. Thanks to Mr. Moneymaker and thanks to Josie...a woman who Zack once assaulted on a pay per view broadcast that you people all paid for, mind you...I am now once again a contracted member of the OAOAST! COLE What!? She's back for good? COACH Ha ha! It keeps getting better and better! Well, worse if your name is Zack Malibu! Moneymaker cackles, as Alison smiles proudly. The fans continue booing...at least until "Getting Away With Murder" kicks in, bringing them to their feet! COLE Heeeeeeeere we go. Malibu comes out, walking slowly to the ring, while Moneymaker leads Alison by the arm to the far side, acting as her protector despite using her to keep Malibu at bay just a few days ago. Zack rolls into the ring and stares the two of them down, while Teddy and Alison seem disturbed by the interruption. MALIBU For the benefit of those who missed the pay per view and your grand return, Alison, let me give a brief recap of the latest happenings between Zack Malibu and Theodore Moneymaker. Let's see...Moneymaker starts coming after me, calling me a fraud, airing old footage of me, trying to paint me in a bad light? I'm doing good so far, right? Then, I rebuke his claims, and he follows up by airing more footage, spewing more crap...but yet won't get in the ring with me at Zero Hour. Oh no, he can't do that he says, because he's got something up his sleeve that's going to rock my world! So Zero Hour comes, and I have to come face to face with my past...and here you come, five years after the last phone call I left you and NOW you want to talk. Except this time...this time you're MEAN! You're mad at me, you're spinning it around as if I kicked you to the curb, when the fact is that YOU WALKED AWAY FROM ME. Now, maybe you coming back was supposed to stir something in me. Maybe it was supposed to emotionally cripple me, but it didn't. It can't, and that's because I stopped giving a DAMN about you five years ago! Even Moneymaker's jaw drops at the bluntness, while Alison's eyes squeeze into a vicious glare. MALIBU I got over you a LONG time ago, Alison. I left you to live the life that YOU wanted, not a life I threw you into. If you think you made a wrong decision with me, then fine, that's your choice. Personally though, I think the only wrong decision you've made is by hooking up with this clown, just to get a few extra bucks in your pocket! ALISON Honestly Zack, do you think this is about the money? Do you think for one second I'm some charity case, some girl down on her luck because her boyfriend abandoned her years ago? Don't flatter yourself! I've done perfectly well for myself since you last saw me. I've lived a great life, and I continue to do so. I'm back because I couldn't stand to see you out here anymore lying to everyone's face! That shining armor you supposedly wear is tarnished, Zack. You are FAR from the hero you position yourself as! MALIBU What are you people, starting a cult or something? You're OBSESSED with this hero-worship deal. I said it before, Moneymaker is obsessed with my status in this company. He's trying to rewrite history, and I've gotta say, you're pretty damn motivated, Teddy. But bringing in my ex-girlfriend does not get you any closer to being me than wearing an In Crowd shirt does. Moneymaker becomes agitated, and takes the mic from Alison. MONEYMAKER Again, you flatter yourself Zackary by actually thinking I'm trying to be like you. Zack, I'm already ABOVE you. I've surpassed you in social status, wealth, and power. My star shines brightly in the sky, while yours crashed to earth a long, long time ago. You're at the end of your rope, because for every foe you've vanquished, they've chipped away just slightly at that shining armor you claim to wear. Men like Stephen Popick, Bruce Blank, women like Crystal, they all have something in common. At one point in time, they brought out your dark side. You say that it's something that only surfaces when you're pushed too far, as if you're Bruce Banner morphing into the Incredible Hulk. The truth is, Zack, is that the only side you have IS that dark side, but you put a fresh coat of paint on it and smile to the fans, and they gobble it up because they don't want to believe they've been led on! The only reason you get cheered is because of their own personal guilt, knowing that they're fools for doing so! The crowd is not happy with being called fools, and let Moneymaker know so. MONEYMAKER SHUT UP! I swear, you'll all be thanking me one day, soon enough. Because Zack Malibu's time as The Franchise of the OAOAST is coming to an end. I promise you, Zack, I PROMISE YOU, that we will meet in this ring, where I can overshadow you with my physical acumen. Until then, though, I'll continue to find proof that exposes you as a fraud. I'll spare no expense at showcasing you at your very worst! MALIBU Put any spin on it that you'd like, Moneymaker. Have me face my past week after week. Bring back Popick, bring back Blank, bring back Mario Logan or Green Mist for all I care! Let's face it, while you're busy living in MY past, I'm standing here in the present, ready, willing and way more than able to prove myself to you and kick your ass while doing so! Malibu drops the mic, done with his retort, and turns his back to Moneymaker and Alison. The leader of The Enterprise and the recently rehired valet talk off-mic, as Malibu ducks out of the ring and stares at them one last time, his body langauge showing them he means business before walking away.

Backstage, Jade Rodez-Duncan walks into an open dressing room. She shuts the door behind her, to reveal that Reject was standing behind it. Reject stands for a second with his hands on his hips, then approaches slowly as Jade goes through her bags. She pulls an outfit out, then turns around to see Reject. She drops the outfit, then takes a step back and gasps, before Reject places a finger over her lips. REJECT Shhhhhhhhhhhhh...it's okay. I'm not here to hurt you. Reject removes the finger from her lips slowly. REJECT No, in fact, I just came in to let you know that everything's going to be OK. You see, I got what I wanted tonight. I've got your Uncle Leon inside a steel cage. No interference, no distractions...just me and him, one-on-one. *crowd cheers* REJECT And tonight, after I've beaten your uncle to a bloody pulp inside that cage...it'll all be over. We can all move on. Reject then takes a towel out of Jade's bag, and flips it around her waist, pulling her up against him. He then begins to stroke Jade's face with his cupped hand. REJECT That means you...will never have to worry about the R-Man doing harm to you, or any of your friends, or family, again. Just as long as you always remember one thing... Reject lifts Jade's face with his index finger and thumb, so that she's looking him in the eyes. REJECT Crossing the R...won't get you far. Reject smiles as he releases Jade, then backs out of her locker room, as a creeped-out Jade looks on. *back to Sofa Central* COLE What a creep. COACH Maybe so, but he's a focused creep, Cole! Focused on ending this war, once and for all! COMMERCIAL

Magnum Opus hits, and Alfdogg makes his way to the ring, carrying a mic. COLE And here comes Alfdogg, who came up short this past Sunday in his bid to become a three-time OAOAST World champion! COACH Yeah, and PRL lucks out once again! Alf is probably out here to demand a rematch, let's see if PRL has the guts to give it to him after escaping by the skin of his teeth! Alf climbs into the ring, and paces around it as the music dies down. ALF I'm gonna make this short and sweet. If you people watched Zero Hour this past Sunday, then you'll know why I'm out here. This past Sunday, I once again had the World title in my grasp, when Tha Puerto Rican fluked his way to another "victory". *crowd boos* COACH Tell 'em, Alf! ALF I mean, PRL is like the bizarro version of the Ohio State Buckeyes. When he gets to the big match, every ball bounces his way, and he can seemingly do no wrong. *crowd boos* ALF So, just for the record, PRL has never picked up a legitimate, decisive win over me. And based on that, I'm out here to ask Josie Baker to come to this ring, and grant me a rematch at the Halloween Spectacular. COACH Yeah! I'm down with that, son! COLE This doesn't happen often, but I agree with you, Coach! I'd love to see another main event with these two squaring off! Alf stands in the middle of the ring, and stares into the entryway, as Josie Baker eventually comes out. COACH Here she comes, Cole! Josie climbs into the ring, and grabs a mic, then walks up to Alf. JOSIE Alf, I listened to your comments, and I have to take issue with your statements. *crowd cheers* JOSIE Despite the circumstances of the matches, the fact is that PRL has pinned you at our past two pay-per-view events. *the crowd cheers, as Alf starts to complain to Josie.* JOSIE Just a second, just a second...I didn't say I was ignoring the circumstances, Alf. Fact is, I watched the match very closely on Sunday, and based on your performance and the manner in which the match ended...I agree with you, that you deserve another chance at the World title. COACH All right! Alf smiles, and looks to the crowd, nodding in approval. JOSIE So, as President of the OAOAST... *Give me fuel Give me fire Give me that which I desire!* “Fuel” by Metallica starts playing, causing the crowd to boo loudly. Alfdogg and Josie Baker turn their attention to the entrance. After a few seconds, the entrance doors slide open, and Brickston and Vitamin X come out. The crowd boos louder than before. Brickston and Vitamin X walk down the entrance ramp, both men having serious expressions on their faces. COLE Hey! It’s Brickston! We haven’t seen Brickston since AngleSlam where he lost to Tha Puerto Rican in that incredible 60-Minute Iron Man Match! COACH It’s about time he came back! But what is he doing out here!? Josie was about to give Alf the rematch he so rightfully deserves! Brickston makes sure that no fans touch him as he makes his way to the ring. Alfdogg seems quite annoyed at the sudden interruption. COLE Alfdogg ain’t in a pleasant mood to begin with. He feels that PRL got lucky at Zero Hour and wants one more match with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion to prove that point. COACH PRL *did* get lucky! That punk managed to get Alfdogg down on the mat for only three seconds. Sadly, those three seconds were all he needed to win the match! They should change the rules so that pins mean the referee counts to 30. No way Alfdogg would stay on the mat for that long. COLE Coach, just shut up and smile to the camera. COACH No problemo. Brickston and Vitamin X taunt fans at ringside, and then climb up the ring steps onto the ring apron. Brickston stares at Alfdogg. Brickston wipes his feet on the ring apron. Vitamin X holds the ropes so that Brickston can enter the ring. X follows his client into the ring. Brickston walks up to Alfdogg and engages in a staredown with him. COLE Uh-oh. The 6’6” 215 pound Brickston is locking eyes with the 6’2” 237 pound Alfdogg! COACH This should be good! Business is about to pick up! Alfdogg and Brickston continue staring at each other. Josie stands back a few feet from the two OAOAST Superstars. Vitamin X pulls a microphone out from his right back pocket. He puts the microphone under his lips and begins speaking. “Fuel” by Metallica dies down. VITAMIN X Alfdogg, I don’t mean no disrespect. You are a phenomenal professional wrestler, and you deserve all of the respect and praise that you get from everyone, including me. But this matter doesn’t concern you. So, if you would, please leave the ring, so that my client and I can have a discussion with our esteem OAOAST President. By the way, you look really lovely today, Ms. Baker. Very fetching outfit. JOSIE BAKER Thanks…I think. Alfdogg and Brickston stop staring at each other. Alfdogg walks back a few steps, keeping his eyes on Brickston the entire time. He doesn’t leave the ring, instead staying inside of it to hear what Vitamin X is about to say. Brickston looks at Josie as Vitamin X begins speaking. VITAMIN X Now, I know that you haven’t seen much of me nor Brickston since AngleSlam. This is because we took a brief sabbatical to rest because the 60-Minute Iron Man Match took a lot out of Brickston AND myself. We rested back in my 50 million dollar mansion in Miami, Florida. We had to get our minds, bodies and spirits back into the thick of things so that we could come back at 100% and challenge for the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship again. COLE That is the set-up for SUCH a gay joke-- COACH Cram it! VITAMIN X As you can clearly see-- “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* COACH HE IS NOT! Vitamin X eyes the fans with disdain in his eyes. Brickston sneers at the fans. BRICKSTON SHUT THE FUCK UP! COLE The fans riling The X-Man up! COACH Ingrates. Vitamin X makes more in a day than they do in a whole entire year! COLE And that makes him a better person because…? COACH Well…it just does, okay!? It just does! COLE Right. COACH Douche. COLE What was that? COACH Nothing. COLE Thought so. Vitamin X stops to let the fans do their naughty chant, and then continues speaking. VITAMIN X Now, as you can clearly see, we are both here, and we are both ready to get back on the right track. Which is why, Ms. Baker, I am asking you the favour of naming my client, Brickston, as the next #1 Contender to the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship with his match to take place at the Halloween Spectacular in my hometown of Miami, Florida on October 31st. The crowd boos loudly. Alfdogg has gone from quite annoyed to downright irritated now. Josie thinks this over. COLE Uh-oh. Brickston barging in. HE wants the shot at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship again! ALFDOGG Now wait a second-- VITAMIN X Alfdogg, Alf, hold on! Hold on! I respect you! I respect you very much so! But this isn’t business. THIS is PERSONAL! My client has something to prove! He wants to prove to Tha Puerto Rican that he IS the superior athlete! That is why he wants, no, he NEEDS this shot! He NEEDS another shot at Tha Puerto Rican so that he can defeat him and become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion in the process! Tha Puerto Rican won the 60-Minute Iron Man Match by the skin of his teeth! He got lucky with that last pinfall! But were we to have another match, his luck would run out! COLE Well, Brickston already has had TWO Title shots against Tha Puerto Rican and he lost BOTH times! COACH One was a countout victory and the other was a fluky pin at the last second! Neither one matters in the long run! COLE Uh-huh. VITAMIN X So Ms. Baker, please, would you please name my client the new #1 Contender? Brickston grabs the microphone from Vitamin X. He speaks to Josie. BRICKSTON P.R. got lucky! He rolled me up at the last second! I had the match won! He was going to tap out! I just know that he would! You all saw the match! I BEAT Tha Puerto Rican ELEVEN TIMES! I beat Tha Puerto Rican MORE TIMES IN ONE NIGHT THAN ANYBODY ELSE HAS DONE IN P.R.’S ENTIRE PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING CAREER! COACH True. The numbers don’t lie! COLE He cheated a couple of those times. COACH So? BRICKSTON I had P.R. right where I wanted him! And Josie, you saw that first fall, I did it BY MYSELF! There was no Vitamin X involvement whatsoever! I gave Tha Puerto Rican the Killswitch and then made him tap out to the Anklelock! If the match had ended right there, I would have become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion for the first time in my career! But it didn’t, but I STILL know in my heart that I would have won the match if it weren’t for the final 10 seconds! COLE Tha Puerto Rican DID break the Anklelock in those final 10 seconds. COACH You heard the man! He had Tha Puerto Rican beaten! BRICKSTON I want another match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title! Ms. Baker, if you would, please name me #1 Contender. But this time, I want the match to be only one fall! That way when I beat Tha Puerto Rican again, when Tha Puerto Rican loses a fall, I win the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship right away! No ifs, ands, or buts! MY TIME IS NOW! I KNOW IT IS! The crowd boos loudly. Brickston paces back and forth in the ring. Alfdogg puts his hands on his hips and mouths, “Give me a fucking break!” COLE Brickston staking his claim to the #1 Contendership! COACH Josie should strip Tha Puerto Rican of the OAOAST Championship and let Alfdogg and Brickston fight over it! COLE Oh come on! BRICKSTON I deserve another shot! So, Josie, what do you say!? JOSIE Well…you HAVE fought Tha Puerto Rican TWICE in the past…and lost. “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Brickston and Vitamin X sneer at the crowd. Alfdogg chuckles. JOSIE BUT…you DO make some good points. Alfdogg also wants a shot, and he has a case to be #1 Contender as well. So, I have come to a decision. At the Halloween Spectacular on October 31st from the American Airlines Arena in Miami, Florida, it will be the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion Tha Puerto Rican taking on-- "We're running with the Shadows Of The Night So baby take my hand, you'll be all right Surrender all your dreams to me tonight They'll come true in the end" COLE Now what!? Josie stops in mid-sentence and doesn't look too happy about it, as LANDON MADDIX comes rushing through the entrance way. Literally rushing, looking just a little out of breath as he slows down once in sight, walking as confidently as he can to the ring with Megan in tow. COLE Boy, Landon must have literally sprinted out here to make sure he interrupted that thought, look at him. Shielding a cough, Landon enters the ring and asks for a microphone of his own. Alfdogg, Brickston and Vitamin X all watch in frustration, as they wait for Landon to get his breath back. MADDIX Josie, Josie... Ms. Baker, I hate to interrupt, but I couldn't help over-hearing all this. I don't know if you heard me talking earlier, but this is EXACTLY what I was talking about! Talent, gold, bragging rights, et cetera, et cetera. Point is, I want a shot at Tha Puerto Rican as well! Alf rolls his eyes to the back of his head, while Vitamin X speaks up to try and shout Landon's request down. COLE I know the World Champion's a marked man, but this is getting a little out of control. COACH I dunno, I like where this is going. MADDIX Look, let's face it, I've never gotten a return one on one match on Pay Per View for the World Title since losing it. Isn't it about time I did? Seriously, Josie, what better poster-boy for your company could you want? What better representative of this promotion could you want? Think about, Josie. Think about it in business terms. I'm a Commissioner of a large scale wrestling promotion myself, you might have heard of it, so I know exactly what's required of a World Champion. Where-as this guy probably can't even spell the word 'required'... Landon directs that insult at Brickston, who has to be calmed down while Landon turns his attentions to Alfdogg. MADDIX ...and we all know this guy draws about as well as Stephen Hawking with a Sharpie in his mouth. COLE Alfdogg, the lowest drawing champion in the history of the OAOAST. COACH That's a myth! And you know it! COLE It's a widely believed myth. That's good enough for me. Having annoyed both Alf and Brickston, Landon turns back to Josie. MADDIX So? JOSIE Landon, as a fellow head of a wrestling promotion, you'll also know how annoying it is to be interrupted in mid sentence. BUT, I do respect the fact that you're a former World Champion... MADDIX In two different promotions. Gritting her teeth, Josie casts a look in Landon's direction. Megan gives him a sly dig in the ribs, as he remarks "what, it's true!" JOSIE ...so, providing you don't interrupt me again before I can make it official, I'm willing to reconsider. And I'm willing to make the match at the Halloween Spectacular, OAOAST World's Heavyweight Champion, Tha Puerto Rican, vers... *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Uh-oh! COACH Oh come on! The crowd ERUPT, as four shocked faces turn to see the styled and suited BOHEMOTH striding through the entrance way! COLE Here comes The Meterosexual Monster, to throw his hat into the ring maybe! COACH What is this, one person asks for a title shot and suddenly it's open season? Bohemoth marches down the aisle and up the ring steps, sending Landon backing away into a further away corner. The bigman enters the ring, exchanging looks with his cowering 'old friend' Vitamin X on his way to collecting a microphone. "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" BOHEMOTH First of all, Ms. Baker, my apologies for interrupting. "Oh quit sucking up" is Landon snarky response, which luckily Bo doesn't seem to hear. Josie doesn't seem too receptive to Bohemoth, partly from their most recent run-ins, partly due to the smirk on Bo's face as he not so genuinely says it. BOHEMOTH Second of all, there's enough hot air over this ring right now to power a voyage to the moon. See, all these three guys have got one thing in common, besides the big mouths. And that thing is, they've all had a shot at the World Heavyweight Champion and they've lost. "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE He's got a point. COACH Meh. The past is the past. BOHEMOTH Now me? I haven't had a shot one on one. Not even after I beat Zack Malibu at AngleMania and School's Out. And I was thinking, since I SMASHED Christian Wright this past Sunday... and since two of these guys weren't even here, while the other was losing 1, 2, 3 in the middle of the ring... maybe it's about time I got my shot at the World Title? "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE Yeah! How about it? VITAMIN X Are you kidding me!? Josie, don't tell me you're going to consider giving this man a chance to become the World Heavyweight Champion! Not after what he did to Mackenzie DeCenz... BOHEMOTH HEY! I suggest you keep your damn mouth shut before I do to you what I did Christian Wright! X's eyes bug out of his head and he quickly hides behind his man Brickston. As the two powerhouses lock eyes, Josie sees things getting out of control. JOSIE Enough! Enough. You know what, you're lucky I'm even hearing you out Bohemoth. But, I can't deny what happened on Sunday night. Which leaves me wi... "THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP..." *DUN DUN* "...IS..." *DUN* "...HERE!" “YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and “Know Your Role 2000” begins playing over the P.A. system. The crowd as one stands up and cheers loudly for The People’s Champion. COLE Hey! It looks like we’re going to hear the Champ’s take on this situation! The lights go down in the arena. PR is heard saying, “THE CHAMP IS HERE!” in tune with the beat of the song, while smoke fills the entrance stage and spotlights circle around and around the arena. A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and Tha Puerto Rican runs out through the smoke onto the entrance stage getting the crowd fired up! COLE And Tha Puerto Rican seems to be in a good mood tonight, eh Coach? Coach? Jonathan Coachman has gotten out of his seat and disappeared. COLE Oh well. PRL plays to the crowd some more, wearing street clothes along with his standard Puerto Rican flag bandana, sunglasses, earring on his left ear, gold chain around his neck and $500 Rolex watch on his right wrist, and is holding a microphone in his left hand and the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his right hand. All four potential challengers, Vitamin X and Megan Skye eye Tha Puerto Rican while Josie Baker looks on, annoyed at being interrupted yet again. PRL throws up a “Killa B” for his fans, and the fans respond in kind. COLE Badd Boy Nation is being represented very well here in Columbus, Ohio! PRL smiles at the fans, and mouths, “THAT’S RIGHT!” He slings the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his right shoulder. Brickston has to be held back by Vitamin X. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has heard from all four men who want a shot! What’s his response going to be? The lights go back on in the arena. “Know Your Role 2000” dies down. The crowd is still cheering loudly. PRL has a smile on his face as he looks to the ring. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” PRL “smells the electricity” in the arena. COLE Columbus, Ohio is going nuts for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! Tha Puerto Rican brings the microphone to his lips. THA PUERTO RICAN At long last…after all this time…THE CHAMP IS HERE IN COLUMBUS! (CHEAP POP~!) COLE They love him everywhere we go! Alfdogg sneers at PRL. Brickston has to be held back by Vitamin X. Landon glares angrily at PRL. Bohemoth just stares at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. The crowd cheers loudly. THA PUERTO RICAN Ms. Baker, sorry to interrupt you…again, but I just HAD to come out here and speak my mind! So, it seems like we are in a little bind out here. Four guys want to become the #1 Contender to my World Heavyweight Title, but only one can get the shot! 'There can be only one!' to quote Highlander. Anyway, who does Tha Puerto Rican think should get the next crack at his Title? Hmmm. Who do I think should face me next? Interesting question. Hmmm. Well, the thing is, I’m not too picky when it comes to #1 Contenders, especially these four gentlemen in the ring. Because, you see, I’ve already beaten all of them. “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” PRL Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I’ve beaten you. PRL points to Brickston. The crowd cheers. PRL I’ve beaten you. PRL points to Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix. The crowd cheers. PRL I’ve beaten you. TWICE. PRL points to Alfdogg. Alfdogg sneers at Puerto. PRL And oh yeah, I’ve beaten you before too! PRL points to Bohemoth. The crowd cheers, although there *are* some boos heard also. THA PUERTO RICAN So really, it’s not like I’m out here to prove anything, since history has my back. For once. So, let’s look at each potenial challenger, and see exactly why they want to meet me in the ring again. Brickston, I’ll start with you. Brickston, two months ago, at AngleSlam, I whopped your candy ass all over the Alamodome for SIXTY MINUTES STRAIGHT and managed to pin you 1-2-3 at the last second to beat you fair and square! The crowd cheers. Brickston is fuming. COLE PRL bested Brickston in that 60-Minute Iron Man Match at AngleSlam! PRL (CONT’D) And now you wanna come back for more!? So you think that just because you and Vitamin X went back to Miami and went all Brokeback Mountain on each other means that you deserve another chance to go one-on-one with The Great One!? Brickston, buddy: I don’t think so! Brickston is about to exit the ring, but is held back by Vitamin X! The crowd cheers loudly! “BROKE-BACK MOUN-TAIN!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* “BROKE-BACK MOUN-TAIN!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* “BROKE-BACK MOUN-TAIN!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* “BROKE-BACK MOUN-TAIN!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* BRICKSTON SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP I SAY! THA PUERTO RICAN Heh. It’s too easy. Too easy. And yeah, you’re right. You DID beat me 11 times in one night, more times than anyone else has ever beat me in one night in my entire 10 year career. But…did you check the score? I won the match 12-11. Lemme repeat that: TWELVE…TO…ELEVEN. That means that I, Tha Puerto Rican, beat you, Brickston, TWELVE TIMES. That’s right. I beat you TWELVE TIMES, MORE TIMES THAN ANYONE ELSE HAS EVER BEATEN YOU IN A SINGLE NIGHT IN YOUR WHOLE ENTIRE PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING CAREER! COLE True dat. THA PUERTO RICAN And oh yeah…I also was able to leave the Alamodome with this. Tha Puerto Rican raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt into the air with his right hand. THA PUERTO RICAN ‘Nuff said. BRICKSTON VITAMIN X THA PUERTO RICAN Now, let me turn my attention to Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Landon ignores the fans, just concentrating on Tha Puerto Rican. Megan Skye tells Landon to calm down. THA PUERTO RICAN Landon, Landon, Landon, I thought that I was finally done with you after School’s Out. But to paraphrase the great Shawn Michaels, you know when you take a dump, and you flush the toilet, and all of the crap goes down the toilet except for that one little nugget that just won’t…go…away? That’s Landon. Landon is that nugget! Which is kinda appropriate, since Landon Maddix is a walking talking piece of CRAP! Landon is FURIOUS! Megan tries her hardest to make sure Landon doesn’t blow a gasket. COLE Tha Puerto Rican just laying into them one by one! PRL I’m already tired of looking at you, so let’s move onto Alfdogg! The crowd boos loudly. Alfdogg has a cocky smirk on his face. PRL Alfie, you just can’t take a hint can you? I mean, I was able to beat you at AngleSlam despite having just been in a 60-Minute Iron Man Match with Brickston, and even after Brickston kicked my ass afterwards, I STILL managed to put my feet under the ropes and pull out a P.R. Nightmare to beat your monkey ass! That should have been enough! But nope! You wanted more! So you got it, last Sunday night at Zero Hour, where I once again pulled out the victory and beat you 1-2-3 in the middle of the ring! No fuss, no muss! The crowd cheers loudly. Alf mouths, “You got lucky.” COLE PR with another successful Title defense last Sunday night against Alfdogg at Zero Hour! PRL But, apparently, you are so stubborn, so thick headed, that you can’t take a hint. So, you think third times a charm? Well, I’ve got news for you, Alfdogg, you want another shot at me? Sure, go ahead, no problem, but be prepare for a three-peat. And no, I don’t mean you becoming a three-time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. I mean me beating you 1-2-3 in the middle of the ring for the THIRD match in a row! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Alfdogg wants some, he’s more than likely to get some! “P.R.!” “P.R.!” Alfdogg chuckles at PR’s threats. THA PUERTO RICAN And that brings me to Bohemoth. “YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Bohemoth perks up at this. He walks closer to the ropes. THA PUERTO RICAN Now Bo, I know that we have never seen eye-to-eye. But you ARE the premier big man in the One And Only AngleSault Thread and that’s the truth, Ruth! And you might not forgive me for what I have done to you in the past, which I understand, because I was a HUGE asshole as recently as a year ago. You’ve got that whole In Crowd thing with Zack Malibu, and that’s cool. But, Bo, you have this idea in your head, this assumption, that many of my opponents have had. And that is that just because you have fought me in the past, means that you know how I am now. Well Bohemoth, I’ve got news for you: the PRL of 2007 is NOT, AND THA PUERTO RICAN MEANS NOT, the PRL of 2008. This is a whole new PRL. I’m not the man that I used to be, and you would be wise to remember that, big man. And hey, I don’t need The Lightning Crew to kick YOUR candy ass, Bo! The crowd responds with a mixture of boos and cheers. Bohemoth just chuckles at this. THA PUERTO RICAN You need to understand Bohemoth, that I am NOT afraid of you anymore! I’ve faced challenges I have never faced before in my World Heavyweight Championship reign, and I HAVE SURVIVED THEM ALL! So, if you think that just your size will imitidate me? Well, you’ve got another thing coming! Hey, I respect you. I believe that you didn’t do anything to Mackenzie DeCenzo. But I DON’T believe that you will kick my ass and take my One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Title! So deal with it, CHUMP! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE PRL throwing down the punk card to Bohemoth! THA PUERTO RICAN So, in the end, who does Tha Puerto Rican want to face next? Who does Tha Puerto Rican want to be the #1 Contender? Brickston? “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” THA PUERTO RICAN Alfdogg? “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” THA PUERTO RICAN Landon Maddix? “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” THA PUERTO RICAN Or Bohemoth? “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” THA PUERTO RICAN Well, Tha Puerto Rican says…IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO THE #1 CONTENDER IS! The crowd cheers. The four potenial challengers are surprised. THA PUERTO RICAN Because whether it is Brickston, whether it is Landon, whether it is Alfdogg, whether it is Bohemoth, the end result will be the same: Tha Puerto Rican walking down The People’s Ramp, sliding into The People’s Ring, and laying the smackdown on your candy ass! I have beaten you all individually, and I can beat you all ALL AT THE SAME TIME! IT DOESN’T MATTER! Come one, come all, I don’t care! All I ask is for three simple words: JUST BRING IT! The crowd cheers loudly! Another “P.R.!” chant breaks out! LANDON Enough of the blabbing on about nothing, P.R.! Let’s settle this! Josie, I am the #1 Contender right? BRICKSTON No, Landon, I AM THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER! ALFDOGG You’re both wrong! I SHOULD GET THE NEXT SHOT AT P.R.! BOHEMOTH How about letting someone new get a shot for a change!? LANDON Stay out of this! Only former Champions should get a shot! That means you stay out of this too, Breakfest! BRICKSTON IT’S BRICKSTON! LANDON Who cares!? VITAMIN X I CARE! LANDON Who are you again!? VITAMIN X Watch your mouth, Landon! LANDON Oh, a manager threatened me! I’m so scared! VITAMIN X I wouldn’t be a manager if it weren’t for Tha Puerto Rican, numb nuts! LANDON Like you had any talent beforehand! BRICKSTON Don’t talk to him like that! ALFDOGG Hey, Brokeback Mountain, leave this to the big boys! BRICKSTON YOU LITTLE PUNK! LANDON Bring it musclehead! BRICKSTON LOUD NOISES! Alfdogg, Landon, Bohemoth, Brickston and Vitamin X get into a shouting match inside of the ring. Megan and Josie stand back and watch. PRL can’t help but laugh watching this. COLE It’s breaking down in the ring! Who is the new #1 Contender!? Before anyone can bring the ruckus… JOSIE Hey. Hey. HEY! Alfdogg, Landon, Bohemoth, Brickston and Vitamin X stop arguing. They all (along with Megan) turn their attention to the OAOAST President. JOSIE Calm down. Relax everyone! Now, I have listened to each one of you speak. And you all make very good points. So, in the interest of fairness, and in the spirit of competition, I have come to a decision…I am going to make you four FIGHT for the #1 Contendership! COLE Oh? JOSIE On next week’s HeldDOWN~!, the main event will be a FATAL FOUR WAY MATCH for #1 Contendership to the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship! It will be Alfdogg vs. Brickston… The crowd boos. JOSIE (CONT’D ..vs. Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix… The crowd boos. JOSIE (CONT’D) …vs. Bohemoth. The crowd cheers loudly. JOSIE There will be no disqualifications and no countouts. It will be one fall to a finish, so the first person who gets the pinfall or the submission will win the match. And the winner will meet Tha Puerto Rican one-on-one in the main event of the Halloween Spectacular on October 31st from the American Airlines Arena in Miami, Florida! Does that sound good to you, P.R.? THA PUERTO RICAN Cool beans, Josie. Mind if I call you Josie? JOSIE It’s okay, Champ. So, there we go. It is settled then! Good luck to you four gentlemen, and may the best man win next week! I bid you good day. THA PUERTO RICAN You heard the lady, may the best man win! But remember, whoever wins will be the next man to suffer the P.R. Nightmare! So good luck, jabronies! THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP…HAS…SPO-KUN~!!! “Know Your Role 2000” begins playing over the P.A. system. The crowd cheers loudly. Tha Puerto Rican stands on the entrance stage with a smile on his face as he adjusts the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his right shoulder. Josie Baker leaves the ring, leaving the four potential challengers and Vitamin X and Megan Skye to eye each other with vicious intent. COLE You heard it from The Boss! Next week, a Fatal Four Way Match to determine the new #1 Contender to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! And Tha Puerto Rican doesn’t seem to care who it will be, since he has beaten all four men in the past! What a barnburner that should be! The main event of the Halloween Spectacular will be revealed next week! Is it going to be Alfdogg? Is it going to be Bohemoth? Is it going to be Brickston? Or is it going to be Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix? All four very worthy contenders! It should be a very interesting match next week! We’ll be right back right after this! Tha Puerto Rican drops his microphone on the entrance stage, and then raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head to a loud pop from the fans. He then blows the fans a kiss and waves bye to them. Tha Puerto Rican slings the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his right shoulder, grabs the microphone with his left hand, and then exits through the entrance doors. Alfdogg, Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix, Bohemoth, Brickston, Vitamin X and Megan Skye are all mouthing off to each other. The crowd cheers loudly. Alfdogg, Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix, Bohemoth, Brickston, Vitamin X and Megan Skye continue mouthing off to one another as “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing over the P.A. system. This is the last image that we see before we FADE TO BLACK * COMMERCIAL BREAK *