Patty O'Green

Word to mother, my match is finished also. Why haven't I posted it yet? Since when do I need a reason for the brick as dick shit I be doing? Get brolic, my thugs. I guess I should take this time to whip up a video package for the MITB match. But I think I will masturbate instead.

Yo, 149, graphics are coming sooooooon! ---- DING DING DING!~!~ BUFFER "Ladies and Gentlemen! Our next match is a SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE, NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH! And is for the OAOAST INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP!" [img=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/ICtitle.jpg] CUE: "Bird Flu" by M.I.A. -The cheers are off the charts as their new favorite song kicks up, signaling the entrance of the special guest referee, Evelyn Maguire! The saloon doors swing open, and out she walks, looking very attractive in her short black shorts, knee high boots, and referee striped shirt. D-d-d-d-d-damn! She smirks as she stops just in front of the doors, looking out at the fans. She then begins her walk down the aisle, hands on her hips the entire way down. BUFFER "Entering First! Hailing from Galway, Ireland, but residing in Boston, Massachusetts...THE SPECIAL GUEST REFEREEEEEEE.....EVELYYYYYYYYYYYYYYN....MAAAAAAAAAGUUUUUUUIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRE EEE!!! COLE Evelyn Maguire is in a tough spot here tonight, Coach! She has to referee the match between her flesh and blood, her brother, Colin Maguire, Jr. and her new BOYFRIEND, the Intercontinental Champion -The cheers grow louder as Evelyn slowly steps into the ring. She paces about, exchanging friendly words with Buffer. CUE: "The Rocky Road to Dublin" by The Young Dubliners -The cheers turn immediately into boos as the lights begin flashing green, gold, and orange. The saloon doors open slowly, revealing The Irish Golden Boy, Colin Maguire, Jr., clad in his traditional black hooded track suit. He jogs slowly past the saloon doors before stopping. He hops side to side, smirking out at the fans, before jogging down to the ring. BUFFER "Introducing first, the challenger...from Boston, Massachusetts...he weighs in at Two Hundred and Fifteen Pounds...THE IRISH GOLDEN BOY...COLIN! MAAAAAAAAAAGUUUIIIIIIIIRREEEEE....JUUUUUUUUUNIOOOOOOOORR!!" -The boos intensify as CMJ slides into the ring, unzipping his track suit and unsnapping his track suit bottoms as he stands to reveal a dark gold singlet, four leaf clover smack dab in the middle. He tosses the clothes to his sister, who just stands there and glares, letting the clothes fall to the mat. CMJ smirks as he continues warming up, anxiously watching the entrance way. COLE CMJ looks to be completely focused on the task at hand here, Coach. COACH Well, duh! In all my years of in ring experience, I ha - COLE Waitwaitwait...what in-ring experience? COACH ...I have found that if you aren't 100% focused on the match once you walk through that curtain - or in this case, saloon doors - then you have a 0% chance of winning the damn thing. COLE That's great, but what in-ring experience are you talking about? COACH ....The lights are dimming! CUE: "Rockers to Swallow" by Yeah Yeah Yeahs -The cheers grow insane as CMJ glares at the entrance way, a look of pure hatred. CMJ beckons towards it, smiling a sadistic smile as he does. Suddenly, the cheers amplify! Someone slides into the ring, carrying a title belt...It's - COLE JEREME GREY! COACH LOOK OUT, JUNIOR! -Jereme stands quickly, clutching at the title belt. A sadistic look glimmers in his eyes as he stalks CMJ, who scoffs at the entrance way. He waves his hand at it and turns slowly...WHAM!!! The fans erupt as Jereme's title belt nails CMJ right in between the eyes! CMJ rolls about in pain, clutching at his head as Jereme stands, tossing the belt to Evelyn. Evelyn catches it and hands it to Buffer as she signals for the bell to ring. DING DING DING! COLE And the match is underway, I guess! COACH That French snake! -Jereme drops down and covers CMJ! Evelyn drops down... ONE!! TWO!! THREENOJEREMEBROKEUPHISOWNPINATTEMPT!~ -Evelyn sits up, looking at her boy. "What the hell, babe?!" she says, but Jereme ignores her. Jereme stands quickly, grabbing CMJ by his now bloodied head. Jereme stands him up, pushing the Irishman into the corner. Jereme steps back...WHAM! A huge knee connects with CMJ's gut. Jereme rears back again...and ANOTHER big knee connects. Jereme grabs ahold of CMJ's wrist, pulling him out of the corner. Jereme goes to Irish whip him, but holds on, pulling CMJ back towards him...WHAMCRASH!~ COLE A HUGE clothesline takes out CMJ! COACH That DAMN French Snake! -Jereme smirks as he picks up CMJ again, this time standing behind him. Jereme wraps his arms around Junior's waist...and lifts!! CRASH!! The fans erupt as CMJ clutches at his neck, the massive German suplex doing what it was made to do. Jereme, however, doesn't let go. Instead, he slowly stands again, dragging CMJ along with him. Jereme lifts again...CRASH!! The fans groan as CMJ goes lifeless, courtesy of another German suplex. Once again, Jereme stands, dragging CMJ along with him. COLE If he hits the Un, Deux, Trois, this match could be as good as over! -Jereme smirks, just before repositioning his arms under CMJ's, pulling them up into a Dragon Suplex position. Jereme once again lifts...CRASH!~! CMJ's neck folds like a card table, and Jereme holds on for the pin! Evelyn drops! ONE!! TWO!! THRNO!~WHATTEHFUCK!~PWNAGEOFTEHN00BS!~ COLE CMJ BARELY kicked out! COACH HA! You dumb French snake! -Jereme sits slowly, glancing at Evelyn, who holds up two fingers. He shakes his head as he stands, grabbing CMJ by his well-bloodied hair. Jereme drags him towards the ropes, resting Junior's throat across the second rope. Jereme slowly saunters over to the opposite end of the ring and turns, glaring at his sworn enemy. COLE What could Jereme Grey be planning here? COACH What ever it is, I bet it's snakey...and French. -Jereme waits for a few moments while he looks out at the crowd, who chant his name. He smiles...AND TAKES OFF! Jereme runs towards the CMJ's prone corpse. Jereme leaps into the air...BUT CMJ ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY! The fans groan as Jereme's crotches himself on the second rope. CMJ stands quickly, running towards the opposite ropes. He rebounds, and charges full speed ahead towards Jereme. CMJ dives...WHAM!! A huge spear connects, sending both men out of the ring to the mats below! Jereme clutches at his ribs as he struggles to breath, while CMJ holds his right shoulder. Cue the "Holy shit" chants! COLE An AMAZING spear from Colin Maguire, Jr.! Both men are out! COACH It's all because CMJ is focused entirely on this match, Cole! He doesn't have a distraction like Evelyn Maguire is to Jereme Grey. CMJ is the NEW IC champ, Mike. Mark my words. -CMJ slowly stands, causing the fans to boo a little. He slowly trudges towards the announce booths, still clutching at his right shoulder. He points at Buffer, who in turn stands from his chair. CMJ grabs it and turns, just in time to see Jereme getting to one knee. COLE Colin Maguire, Jr. has a chair, Jereme Grey has injured ribs...I smell a disaster, Coach! COACH I can smell championship gold, Mike! And that's ONLY because CMJ is standing upwind from us! -Jereme stands slowly, holding his ribs tight, just as CMJ lifts the chair high above his head. CMJ swings downward...BUT JEREME BARELY DODGES! CMJ glares at Jereme, who leans against the apron. CMJ swings once again...BUT JEREME DUCKS! The chair hits the second rope and bounces back, hitting CMJ right in the face! CMJ drops to the mats, clutching at his bloody face. Jereme slowly picks up the chair, the pain in his ribs slowly subsiding as he paces around CMJ, who slowly gets to his knees. Jereme lifts the chair...and brings it down hard across the back of Colin Maguire, Jr.! Colin screams in pain as he clutches at his back, just as Jereme rears the chair back...NO! Jereme clutches at his croissants and drops the chair, courtesy of a low blow from CMJ. COACH THAT sticks it to both Jereme Grey AND Evelyn! Ha! -CMJ fumbles for the chair as he stands. Jereme slowly gets to a knee as CMJ unfolds the chair and sets it down, back facing away from Jereme. CMJ walks slowly towards Jereme and grabs his hair, picking him up. CMJ grabs ahold of Jereme's wrist and whips him towards the announcement booth, but stops short, still holding on. CMJ pulls the other way, sending Jereme towards the chair, and CMJ drops down! He wraps his feet around Jereme's ankle...CRASH!! The fans groan as Jereme's head bounces off the chair, a loud yell exiting his lungs as he clutches at his forehead. CMJ stands triumphantly, smirking at the booing fans. He wipes some blood away from his forehead and flings it at Jereme. COLE An incredible drop-toe-hold onto a chair from CMJ, Colin Maguire, Jr.! He could have the match won here! -CMJ slowly grabs Jereme by the hair and picks him up, giving the fans a glimpse at Jereme's now-bloodied head. CMJ slowly slides Jereme into the ring and follows close behind. Evelyn shakes her head slowly as Jereme drops and covers. Evelyn slowly drops... ONE!! TWO!! THNO!~ Jereme's shoulder barely raises off the mat. CMJ glares at his sister, who raises two fingers right in front of CMJ's face. Junior stands quickly, trying hard to intimidate his sister, who mockingly acts scared. CMJ shakes his head and points at her, before turning to Jereme Grey. CMJ slowly grabs Jereme by his now bloody blonde hair and stands him up, just before whipping him into the opposite corner. Jereme hits hard chest first, causing the frenchman to back up a bit...WHAM!! Jereme once again clutches at his ribs as he rolls out of the ring, courtesy of the "Wicklow" Express (the Elijah Express...whoooo). CMJ smirks as he steps out of the ring next to Jereme. Jereme drops a few boots to the back of Jereme's head, before reaching underneath the ring. He fumbles around for a few seconds before producing.... COACH A Garbage Can! Exactly what Jereme Grey's wrestling style reminds me of!...Garbage. -CMJ smirks once again as he slowly stands, turning to show the fans the trash can. He slowly turns to Jereme Grey, who continues to hold his ribs as he lifts himself to a knee. CMJ rears the trash can back...and swings...NO! Jereme quickly stands and jumps, delivering a dropkick straight into the trashcan, which in turn hits CMJ in the face! The fans erupt as CMJ slowly falls backward. Jereme hits the mats with a thud, which causes the IC champ to let out a huge groan as he once again clutches at his ribs. COLE Jereme Grey with a GREAT desperation move! A Van Jeremator, if you will! COACH I won't. That was reaaaaaaally dumb. -Moments pass as both men lie on the mats, and it is Jereme Grey who begins to stir first. Jereme slowly gets to a knee as CMJ begins to stir. Jereme is now standing. He shakes his head as he stumbles back, watching CMJ slowly get to his feet. Jereme watches and waits, waiting for the right opportunity. CMJ slowly turns, and Jereme takes off! Jereme ducks under a desperation clothesline and hops up onto the steel steps. Without a moments waste, Jereme hurls himself backward, flipping in the air! COLE MOONSAULT!?! -...but CMJ catches him! With a loud yell, CMJ runs towards the ring post...BUT JEREME SLIPS AWAY! CMJ barely hops over the steel steps. He stops on a dime and turns...JUST IN TIME to see Jereme Grey vaulting from the steel steps! Jereme swings his leg...WHAM!! Jereme stumbles as he lands on his feet, but CMJ falls back, clutching at his crimson face. The HUGE Shining Wizard connects! COLE Shades of his second cousin-in-law, Austin "Ragdoll" Baker! A vaulting Devil Doll!! COACH Jereme Grey WISHES he could hit that move with the same force as Ragdoll! Don't even TRY and compare the two, Mike! -Jereme, showing signs of tiredness, slowly grabs CMJ by the hair and lifts him to a standing position. He grabs a hold of his wrist and whips him towards the ring, where CMJ hits with a nasty thud. Jereme suddenly turns his attention to under the ring, where he is now rummaging. COLE What could Jereme be looking for? COACH You know, you ask that EVERY TIME! You've seen just as many matches as I have, and we BOTH know that there are five things under that ring that have NO place being there: chairs, trash cans, tables, ladders, and little midgets dressed as leprechauns. And since we at the OAOAST don't have anything like that last one, then take your fuckin' pick at the other four. COLE ... -Jereme suddenly backs out from under the ring, revealing...A LITTLE MIDG...I mean...A TABLE! The fans go wild as Jereme slides it into the ring, just before grabbing CMJ and sliding him in as well. Jereme hops up onto the apron as CMJ slowly stands. Almost immediately, Jereme slingshots himself onto the top rope, and leaps! CMJ turns AND LEAPS AS WELL! CMJ catches Jereme...CRASH!! SLÁN AGUS BEANNACHT LEAT!! The fans erupt in boos as Jereme clutches the back of his neck. CMJ lies motionless, the SABLe taking a lot of him. COLE The SABLe has connected! GOODBYE AND BLESSINGS TO YOU! COACH Yes! Just turn over, CMJ! Cover him! Cover him! -The fans rise and boo as both men lie motionless on the mat, and for a few moments, it seems like no-one is even breathing. Evelyn paces around, her eyes locked on CMJ, who slowly begins to stir. He slowly...sloooooowly rolls over... AND DRAPES AN ARM! Evelyn drops and counts, the fans counting along... ONE!! TWO!! TWO AND HALF!!! THREE! NO!~! The cheers are insane as Jereme raises his shoulder, just as Evelyn's hand is inches away from the mat! CMJ rolls over slowly, covering his face with his hands. COLE Jereme Grey BARELY got his shoulder up, Coach! We ALMOST had a new champion! COACH Jesus...that almost gave me a heart attack... -CMJ gathers his bearings and stands slowly, clutching at his neck, just as Jereme begins to stir. CMJ glances around the ring until he spies the table! CMJ smirks as he steps past Jereme, kicking him in the head as he does. CMJ grabs the table and lifts it. He turns around, unfolding the legs as Jereme slowly stands. CMJ sets down the table and hops over it, grabbing Jereme by the head. WHAM! The fans erupt as CMJ reels back, taking a brutal punch from Jereme. WHAM! Another punch connects, sending CMJ back again...Jereme rears back once again and swings...But CMJ ducks! Jereme spins slightly...AND CMJ LEAPS! COLE D-STREET CUTTER?! -CMJ reaches out for Jereme's head, but Jereme continues spinning, slapping CMJ's arm away! CMJ hits the mat hard, causing him to jump up, clutching his back, which is turned towards Jereme... COBRA CLUTCH IS LOCKED IN!! The fans erupt as CMJ struggles to escape from the submission, just as Jereme steps to the side a little...vines the leg...falls forward... CRACKCRASHBREAK!~~!~! COLE SHUTTER!! JEREME GREY HIT THE SHUTTER THROUGH THE TABLE!!! -The cheers are off the charts as CMJ clutches at his face, all while Jereme clutches at his ribs. Jereme, knowing this is his opportunity, spins CMJ onto his back...AND COVERS!! EVELYN DROPS!! ONE TWO THREE!! DING DING DING!!! -The cheers are deafening as "Rockers to Swallow" hits the PA system! Evelyn stands and jumps for joy as Jereme rolls away from CMJ, exhausted. Evelyn rushes towards the ropes, just as Buffer hands her the Intercontinental Title. BUFFER "Ladies and Gentlemen...yoooour winner...and STILL...the OAOAST INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION!!!....JEREEEMEEEEEEEEEEEEEE GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!" -Evelyn rushes towards her boyfriend as he struggles to sit up. She wraps her arm around his shoulders and lifts him slowly, placing the IC title on his lap. A small smile appears through the drying blood on his face as he looks at it. COLE Tables, chairs, title belts, Garbage cans...this has been a WAR...and Jereme Grey is STILL the OAOAST Intercontinental Champion, Coach! COACH COLIN MAGUIRE JUNIOR WAS CHEATED! Evelyn did a FAST three count! He didn't even get the CHANCE to kick out! I smell a rat! I smell a big damn rat here, Cole! And I hate the smell! -Jereme slowly rolls out of the ring, followed closely by Evelyn, leaving CMJ lying motionless in the middle of the shattered table. Evelyn keeps Jereme propped up as the two slowly walk down the aisle. FADE TO BLACK

the hard sell! Tony taught me that term. He's so smart! Not a lot of action but the skits and shit were all entertaining so nice stuff on that end. And a few of them def fit the hard sell category!

COACH What's poppin' everybody. The Coach here, feeling real happy right now, because as you can see Michael Cole ain't sat next to me. One day, every Thursday will be like this. *sighs* One day.... anyway, he's up in the ring for the debate. COLE Ladies and gentlemen, we are just three nights away from the rootinest, tootinest party of the Summer, AngleSlam 2008! And by the end of AngleSlam, one OAOAST superstar will be five hundred thousand dollars richer and in possession of a guaranteed World Title shot any time they so choose. It's the final match in the Money In The Bank Tournament. And here tonight in Corpus Christi, in the spirit of election fever, we're going to open the floor to our two finalists to debate this important contest. Two of the most out-spoken personalities in the OAOAST today, set for their first time ever one on one meeting. It's the Money In The Bank Debate. And at this time, allow me to introduce our first Money In The Bank finalist... the first and only Money In The Bank winner in OAOAST history, who cashed his contract in to become OAOAST World Champion... ladies and gentlemen, the leader of Cucaracha Internacional, LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX! "PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!" ...WAAAAAHHHHH... *DUM DUM* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" All eyes turn to the entrance way as "Megalomaniac" powers through the PA system. And the boos echo loud and long as not only Landon and not only Megan Skye, but also Nathaniel Black, James Blonde and Faqu emerge! With a smug grin on his face, Landon poses with the members of Cucaracha Internacional assembled behind him, wearing a smart looking suit for this special occassion. Landon waves and shakes unwilling hands like he were on the campaign trail heading for his podium, looking mighty pleased with himself. And here's why... OAOAST BACKTRACKER

EARLIER TODAY What was taped earlier today was the arena parking lot, empty besides a few cars scattered about. That's certainly an odd thing to waste footage on, as arena parking lots are rarely interesting. But when you see the In Crowd duo, wearing In Crowd varsity jackets, of Bohemoth and Leon Rodez were getting out Bo's custom painted black and purple Mustang, it becomes slightly more interesting. It gets even more interesting when the angry face of GM Josie Baker fills the screen, surronded by the stern expressions of several police officers and security guards. Bo's as cool as he usually his, but there's small sense of apprehension in his step. Leon, however, tries his best to make peace with his former friend. LEON Jo-Jo! JOSIE (to the guards) Get that piece of crap! On Josie's orders, the officers accost Leon, nearly engulfing him with thier mammoth size. LEON This is not doing any favors to my self esteem. JOSIE No, not that piece of crap! The bigger one! The officers look at Josie in confusion for a little bit and then continue to grope a struggling Rodez. LEON Ugh. I should've stayed in porn. JOSIE I said the big guy! The big guy! He's barely over five seven. LEON That's not true I'm an even six feet. I hunch a lot I guess. I think I have slouchy shoulders and that makes me look smaller than I really am. With security moving on to him, the big man hasn't the time to indulge the great height debate of Leon Rodez. BOHEMOTH What is this? LEON Yeah, what is this? JOSIE What is this? What the hell do you think it is? This is me not wanting you anywhere near an OAOAST event. This is me wanting to wind up and smack you in the face right now with your walking papers, that's what this is. BOHEMOTH What are you talking about? What's going on? JOSIE Don't try to play mister innocent, when you're almost three hundred pounds it doesn't work that well. You know what you did. Leon may not, though with his background it was probably his idea, so I'll tell him. Leon, your good friend, Bohemoth is a rapist. LEON Like a metaphorical I just jacked your ass up at Madden rapist, or a gimmie a second to think up something clever... JOSIE Like a Mackenzie DeCenzo has accused Bohemoth of raping her last week, as we were on the air rapist! LEON That's not that clever at all. Bo growls in what can only be a mixture of outrageous frustration and total disbelief. His face sags downward and his mouth is held agape as he struggles to come to grips what Josie just said. LEON No way. That...that's crazy! Bo's a solid guy, not a criminal. You're wrong. I don't believe a word you're saying! JOSIE Believe all of it. And because of that FELONY Bohemoth you just unbooked yourself from Angleslam. Not only do I not want your kind pissing on the great event I created, I also just plain think you can rot in hell, and hell is a long way from San Antonio. Say thank you to your disgusting fuck of a friend, Mister Rodez, because it will be you and Zack Malibu against Abdullah Abir Nerdly, Christian Wright and Theodore Moneymaker at Angleslam. Oh, and one more thing, its this kinda crap that makes me wonder if I should axe half the roster and start this whole thing over. If I can't even trust you to follow the laws of civilized soceity how the hell can I trust you to follow the laws of a wrestling match? I'm not gonna let you In Crowd shitbags ruin Angleslam, I'm putting a special trouble shooting guest referee in your match, Rodez. LEON Who's that gonna be? Mackenzie? Bosley? Great Great Great Grandpa Moneymaker, wrestling's first zombie referee? JOSIE I'll tell you when I'm damn good and ready. BOHEMOTH This is bullshit! You're taking me out the match? The Metrosexual Monster? Bo throws his head back in exhaustion and laughs. Laughs not because its funny but because its the only thing that can keep him from breaking down and destroying everything in sight. Leon pats him on the shoulder and shakes his head, still not sure if this part of some crazy pratical joke. JOSIE I think losing on out on your big pay date oughta be the least of your worries, now that you just may have a court date in your future. Speaking of, why don't you let these gentlemen help you to my office, there are a lot of investigators with some questions for you, and I just wanna watch you squirm, you sick bastard. Snarling at Bo one last time, Josie turns and walks back towards the arena entrance way, motioning for the guards to bring the monster with them. Ultimate Victory begins our final HeldDOWN before our summertime bash as the opening video highlights the uh...highlights off the OAOAST's summer season! After the video comes to a close we move into what I'm pretty sure is a teeny tiny arena. There cheers of the sold out crowd are huge, however, and put a smile onto the face of Michael Cole. Together he and the Coach sit an arena illuminated by soft, soothing orange flood lights. COLE Welcome, ladies and gentlemen to Corpus Christi for OAOAST HeldDOWN~! COACH Mikey you ain't welcome anywhere near the Coach. In India there are laws against people like you being near people like me. You'd get your pinky chopped off and reincarnated as a goat. Naw that's an improvement for you. Josh Matthews. Naw he gets play every couple a months. Terry Taylor. Naw he gets to look up Krista's skirt. Gene Okerlund. Yeah, that cracka bald, he kinda fat, and he got a liver spot and I think that shit is a sign of cancer or something, so that's gonna be you. COLE I'm sorry but you are not going to spoil my mood for Angleslam, which given the implications of many of the matches could be the most important pay per view of 2008. Do I say that every month? Maybe, but this time I mean it! Honest! Why would I lie? To get your money? No, never. We started off the show huge, Bohemoth being accused of rape, and I don't believe that for a moment, and hopefully we'll get more info but for now let's get started with Tony Brannigan! Back after a few weeks hiatus, the world famous interview stage and its guardian Tony Brannigan. BRANNIGAN Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in welcoming my guest this week, who Sunday night at Angleslam will square off against his former tag team partner in a Texas Bullrope match... BARON WINDELS! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The music plays, but no Baron. Puzzled like the rest of us, Brannigan introduces Windels again, the music restarting. Still nobody. COLE What’s going on here? This is certainly uncharacteristic of Baron. COACH Maybe he chickened out of the match at Angleslam. And who could blame him? Have you seen what’s happened in our promotions when a fan favorite returns home? Our questions are answered as we head backstage and see Baron Windels being WHIPPED by MR. DICK while CUFFED TO A CHAIN LINK FENCE. COLE The hell?! Welts and lacerations soon appear on the back of Baron Windels as Mr. Dick lays in with a heavy BULLROPE. Baron drops to his knees and Mr. Dick unzips his pants. Filming the Human Hard-On from the waist up we hear a THUMPING sound. MR. DICK (grunting) Come on, big boy. You ain't so bad now, are you? UNH! * SPLAT * OAOAST officials come running into the picture, but it's too little too late. Baron Windels humiliated in front of a worldwide audience. MR. DICK (zipping up pants, laughing) Can you feel them swimming? COACH There’s something about Baron and it stinks right about now! COLE What a reprehensible act Mr. Dick just committed. There will be hell to pay come Sunday night at Angleslam I assure you. ANGLESLAM 2008 TEXAS BULLROPE MATCH TWO SAN ANTONIO BOYS HOOK UP: BARON WINDELS Vs MISTER DICK AUGUST 31st 2008

"SHIT!" With that, we cut backstage, where Tony Tourettes is playing an oddly-stationed crane game, as Vinny Valentine and Biff Atlas stand by. The crowd cheers upon seeing Tony, but switch to boos as PATD becomes visible. TONY Gimme another goddamn quarter! VINNY Man, aren't you done yet? Tony sticks his hand out farther, and Vinny pops another quarter out of his coin dispenser. TONY (sticks the quarter in) I'm gonna get you, motherfucker... Tony grabs the joystick, and moves it around, catching a rubber snake, which slides out as he moves it towards the hole. TONY GOD DAMN IT, SHIT! Vinny rolls his eyes, as he knows what's coming, and dispenses another quarter as Tony turns back to him. Just then, the sounds of a man singing R&B music from his headphones can be heard, and the man wearing the headphones is Quincy, arriving on the scene with all the rest of the Burrough Boys. Luther and Waldo are embroiled in some discussion, then break it off when they spot Vinny. LUTHER See, look at 'dis muthafucka, man! WALDO Yo baby, how da hell dus you an' Captain Planet over 'dere get in dis battle royal dis Sunday, while we still stuck sittin' and watchin' at the hotel? LUTHER Yeah, what's reallyhood? VINNY I'll tell you what's reallyhood, my man. See, the OAOAST has to look out for the female audience. MARIANO Aw, get da fuk outta here! VINNY That's right! And the way to attract that fan to the battle royal? V-squared, baby! LUTHER Foo, ain't no bitches comin ta see yo ass! VINNY That's where you're mistaken, my man! Ladies love me, girls adore me! I mean, even the ones who never saw me like the way that I rhyme at a show! The reason why? *turns to Biff* BIFF ...man, I don't know. VINNY Exactly, there you go! High five! BIFF (turns away in disgust) No! I don't know where your hand's been! MARIANO What about dis cat, yo? What you gon' do in a battle royal? You won't even let yo' man slap hands, dog! WALDO Yeah man, he ack like he got some Mike Myers hands! Like he gon' eat yo dream or some shit! LUTHER Dumb ass mutha fucka, that ain't no Mike Myers! Luther slaps Waldo on the side of the head. BIFF Spend a day with Vinny, and you'll get it. Trust me. MARIANO Aw man, I believe you dog, I bet this cat fucks any bitch dat moves! I wouldn't touch dat, either. WALDO So, which one was Mike Myers, 'den? LUTHER Bitch, I TOLD yo ass, dat's dat white boy off fuckin' Austin Powers! Don't make me slap yo wack ass again! TONY FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKK! Tony turns around, as the rest of the group looks on in astonishment. TONY I am SO SICK, of these MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES, in this MOTHERFUCKING CRANE! *awkward silence* TONY Any of you guys got a quarter? The Burrough Boys look at each other, and smile. MARIANO I got a dime! Mariano then pulls a dimebag out of his pocket, followed by the rest of his friends. LUTHER This is worth a lot more than a quarter! TONY Well, LET'S LIGHT THAT SHIT UP! BURROUGH BOYS AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEAH! VINNY Oh please, that ain't worth shit, what the fuck do you guys know? The BB's give Vinny a strange look, as he opens his suitcase. VINNY ...at least not next to THIS. Vinny pulls out a bag of cocaine the size of a basketball, then smiles as the group's eyes widen. VINNY NOW let's go. TONY/BB's YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH~! Everyone heads off, except for Biff, who then turns to the crane game, and pulls a wet wipe out of his pocket, then successfully grabs the snake out of the the machine. As soon as he grabs it out, however, Tony comes rushing back into the picture and snatches it from him, then heads back towards the others as Biff looks on, with a worried look on his face. *back to Sofa Central* COACH ...we are SO getting kicked off the air. But before we are, let's go to the.... ANGLESLAM Shill Center The music plays, the AS logo scrolls across the screen and OAOAST Original Tony Brannigan is ready to go. BRANNIGAN Your final Angleslam shill is brought to you by the OAOAST HOT NEWZLINE~!, where the gossip is so hot you need to wear ear muffs when calling! We are now only 3 nights away from the hottest event of the summer. This sizzling summer spectacular has been sold out for weeks, but you can still catch all the action live exclusively on pay-per-view. So make that call right now if you haven’t already done so. You don’t want to miss out on over 3 hours of nonstop entertainment featuring 9 incredible matches and a double main event! 3 ON 2 HANDICAP MATCH SPECIAL TROUBLESHOOTING REFEREE? Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright & Abdullah Nerdly vs. Zack Malibu & Leon Rodez BRANNIGAN Our first main event has the attention of the entire wrestling community. The Usual Suspects, Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez, back together on pay-per-view to meet the unholy trinity of Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright and Abdullah Nerdly in a match made in corporate greed! By now you know the story about this one. The Metrosexual Monster Bohemoth originally scheduled to join his fellow In Crowd members in battle, but he now faces an even bigger battle of his own after being accused of sexual assault by Mackenzie DeCenzo. A very serious accusation, to say the least. But as we heard earlier in the program, General Manager Josie Baker will assign a special troubleshooting referee to provide as level a playing field as possible with Bo out indefinitely. Let us not forget, it was Josie Baker who selected Abdullah Nerdly as the special referee for Zack Malibu’s match against Nathanial Black here two weeks ago and we know how that turned out. Her decision to be announced before we go off the air, so stay tuned for that. OAOAST CHAMPIONSHIP 60 MINUTE IRON MAN MATCH Brickston w/Vitamin X vs. Tha Puerto Rican © BRANNIGAN In the second main event, reigning OAOAST Champion Tha Puerto Rican will defend the richest prize in our sport against the awesome force that is Brickston, led by the man The Champ ended the career of at the Big Apple Spectacular, Vitamin X. RIVERWALK INVITATIONAL BATTLE ROYAL BRANNIGAN Kicking off the show, the Riverwalk Invitational 20 man over the top rope battle royal. Some of the participants already signed for this special attraction include the return of... Brock Ausstin Denzel Spencer Reggie Lamont "After Hours" Felix Strutter Jumbo Deuce Deuce Bigelow Jamie O'Hara The Christ Air Express Panic at the Disco The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew James Blonde Faqu Spanish Fly Cuban Wall Mr. Boricua BRANNIGAN ...plus two surprise entrants! OAOAST WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP Jade Rodez vs. Malaysia © BRANNIGAN The Women’s title will also be on the line at Angleslam. It was just last week that we saw the kind of training Jade Rodez has gone through to prepare mentally and physically for her title bout against the ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns. Just being around the company J-Ro hangs with makes her mentally tough in my view! TEXAS BULLROPE MATCH Mr. Dick vs. Baron Windels BRANNIGAN I for one still cannot believe what took place earlier tonight in regards to this one. Baron Windels was to join me for a live interview when he was ambushed by Mr. Dick backstage and--and... well, I’d rather not dignify that vile act. OAO WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP TRIPLE THREAT TABLES, LADDERS & CHAIRS MATCH Beverly Hills Blonds vs. D*LUX vs. Reject & Thunderkid © BRANNIGAN In what could very well be the show stealer at Angleslam, for the One & Only World tag team championship, Reject & Thunderkid of the Deadly Alliance face the challenge of D*LUX and these men representing the Enterprise, "Box-Office" Simon Singleton and "The Handsome Hustler" Ned Blanchard, the Beverly Hills Blonds. Instead of the Alamo we get the BHB CG backdrop. The famous Hollywood sign redone as Beverly Hills with Blonds underneath, stars shining bright around. Standing tall, Simon and Ned in their trademark silver vests. NED Do blondes really have more fun? That’s been the age old question, and if you would’ve asked us a few weeks ago the answer would’ve been hell yeah. But ever since Reject laid his hands on our assistant, we’ve given being the hottest tag team in sports entertainment a whole new meaning, because we’re still hot over what he did to Molly. SIMON I mean, good golly. The club hopping, the womanizing, the orgy parties have taken a backseat to a rededication of our craft. Friends and family have long come up to us asking when Ned and I were gonna do more than collect a six-figure paycheck from Theodore Moneymaker and become serious about being tag team champions again. Well that time has come. Sunday night at Angleslam we’re gonna put our names in the record books as having the most tag title reigns in OAOAST history. And Reject, if you think about laying your hands on Molly again, we got 3 words for you. "CAN'T TOUCH THIS!" Molly jumps into view and dances along with the BHB to MC Hammer's early ‘90s smash hit, all rocking parachute pants. Then it’s back to business at the Shill Center. MONEY IN THE BANK TOURNAMENT FINALS Krista Isadora Duncan vs. Landon Maddix BRANNIGAN I’m sure both participants in the OAOAST Championship bout will have a close eye on this one, to determine who gets $500,00 and a guaranteed contract at their title whenever they so wish, it’s the GLADDiator vs. the self-proclaimed "Savior of the OAOAST" Landon Maddix. DEVIL’S PLAYGROUND MATCH James "Lunar Phoenix" Cone vs. Sly Sommers BRANNIGAN Following his despicable stunt two weeks ago, James Cone managed to get one of the stipulations to the Devil’s Playground match removed. Here’s how it all happened. HeldDOWN~! August 15, 2008 BRANNIGAN You can imagine the complaints OAOAST headquarters was flooded with after that one. Last but certainly not least, rounding out the card another big grudge match. After locking lips with her brother’s arch rival, just how impartial will the lovely Evelyn Maguire be officiating the match between Junior and Jereme Grey? OAOAST INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH GUEST REFEREE EVELYN MAGUIRE Colin Maguire, Jr vs. Jereme Grey © BRANNIGAN The days, the hours, the minutes, the seconds are ticking down. For all you moms and dads out there, with the little ones heading back to school, enjoy one last summer family activity with Angleslam. Don’t be left out in the heat. Stay in, crank up the AC and purchase the 2008 edition of Angleslam live exclusively on pay-per-view! Wait a minute, I’m being told General Manager Josie Baker has made a decision in regards to the special troubleshooting referee in the handicap match apart of our double main event. I believe she’s standing by in her office. So without any further ado, let’s go to Josie Baker. Inside Josie‘s office, she places her signature on a document before putting out her cigarette, then looks into the camera. JOSIE After careful consideration, I have concluded there’s only one person qualified to officiate a match-up the caliber of that signed featuring Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez against Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright and Abdullah Nerdly. This person arguably knows the OAOAST better than anyone in the world, including Zack Malibu himself, and is someone who has both the trust of fans and OAOAST management alike. It’s for those reasons I have selected Tony Brannigan to serve as the special troubleshooting referee for one-half of our double main event at Angleslam. That is all. BRANNIGAN COACH Tony Brannigan?! COLE I don’t think he can believe it himself. Suddenly THEODORE MONEYMAKER appears next to Brannigan at the Shill Center. MONEYMAKER Cousin! Great to see you again. I was just in the neighborhood and though I’d drop by to congratulate you on landing the most coveted job opening this side of the office of president of the United States. In the time it was announced a special referee would be assigned to the unholy trinity’s match, as you so amusingly called us, I heard Josie Baker’s phone was ringing off the hook. The calls, the text messages from people of all walks of life badly wanting that gig, including Fred Thompson but he jumped in too late. BWAHAHA! Important as your job is, like being president of the United States, it comes with a lot of pressure. But I don’t want the fact we’re family to interfere with you calling the match down the middle. (pulls out roll of $100 bills) After all, your job is as easy as... *stuffing bills in Brannigan’s breast pocket * ... 1-2-3. Of course for extra incentives, you’d then raise my team’s hands in victory. Again, congratulations, cousin. BWAHAHAHAHA! Moneymaker exits. Brannigan counts the bills stuffed in his suit, $300 to symbolize counting 1-2-3 at Angleslam. COLE In his own twisted way, did Theodore Moneymaker just offer BRIBE MONEY to Tony Brannigan?! COACH It’s just like you to think that, Mikey, the little conspiracy theorist that you are. What I saw was a family reunion. Two men putting their differences aside to co-exist in a dangerous world. If only Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez could understand that concept. COLE To recap very quickly, ladies and gentlemen. Tony Brannigan has been named the special troubleshooting referee for The Usual Suspects-Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright and Abullah Nerdly match at Angleslam, and pretty much received a bribe from the Billion Dollar Heir. COACH There you go again. For all we know Teddy owned debt to his cousin. COLE Yeah, sure. Thursday night will continue to be HeldDOWN~! after this timeout. ORDER ANGLESLAM YOU HIDEIOUS SHIT CREATURES!! COMING UP NEXT THE GREAT MONEY IN THE BANK FINALS DEBATE KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS LANDON MADDIX NEXT!

tomorrow, only tomorrow tomorrow, only tomorrow Sajo see you tomorrow Sajo jon te i fe, Ousmane ko ka bi fe ka bi fe koniete ka le te sigi Sajo jon te i fe malienw The glorious and soul searing tenor of Salif Keita's Tomorrow join with even more glorious images of Abdullah Abir Nerdly speaking the message of the prophets to the citizens of various countries, as well as being flocked to by children and fawned over by women. HOUSE OF WORSHIP With your Inspirational Leader....Abdullah Abir Nerdly Tonight’s Guest Speakers: Theodore Moneymaker & Christian Wright "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Escorted by a bevy of beauties in belly dancer costumes, Abdullah walks a yellow brick road towards his House of Worship, a mellow Arabic chant playing overhead. Once at the podium Abdullah thanks his beauties with a simple gesture, a nod of the head, and they wander off backstage. Then a single beam of light shines down on the Spiritual One. ABDULLAH I open my sermon this evening with news of yet another of your false idols has fallen from grace. Bohemoth it seems is more than just the Metrosexual Monster, he’s a sexual monster! As I speak he and a certain individual who shall remain nameless are in all likelihood instant messaging their tales of debauchery to each other. Nonetheless, a vocal minority fail to believe the accusations leveled against the Sexual Monster. Therefore I have arranged for the lead detective on the case to appear live tonight in order to put to rest any doubts a violent crime was committed. His name is Detective Tango Bosley! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Perhaps the first law enforcement official in history to have a theme song, "In the Air Tonight" by Nonpoint, played on his way to a press conference, the Boz is joined by fellow V.I.C.E. squad member CPA who possess a small brown paper bag. COLE What?! Does the Enterprise really expect us to believe a fair investigation could be conducted by Tango Bosley? He’s on the take! COACH I wouldn’t say that. COLE Then how would you describe his relationship with Theodore Moneymaker? COACH Well, uh... I mean... Similar to that of Commissioner Gordon and Batman! Yeah, that’s it. They’re trying to make the OAOAST a better place. Abdullah welcomes V.I.C.E. into his HOW. ABDULLAH Why, I’ve never felt more protected in my life than I do right now standing around you gentlemen. BOSLEY Speaking of protection, Spiritual One, the perp in our case thought he could beat the system by using such extra precautions. But it’s a classic case of million dollar body, 10 cent brain, because after the brutal assault a key piece of evidence was left behind, the contents of which my partner CPA holds in that brown bag. ABDULLAH You don’t mean...? BOSLEY DNA evidence that conclusively proves the apprehended perp committed the assault, yes. NOW HOW ‘BOUT SOME PROPS FOR CRACKING THE CASE? WHAT A FUCKIN’ RUSH! GIVE THE ALPHA MALE OF THE GROUP SOME!!! ABDULLAH Praise Allah for detectives the caliber of Tango Bosley. CPA Right on, man. Right on. BOSLEY FUCK YEAH!! I'm sayin, man, this is the kinda shit bitches dig. They love this shit. You roll up into the fuckin' club and you start in with about how you just nailed a rapist, you ain't gotta rape someone that night, because you are getting that fucking ass! Black bitches, white bitches, Dot head bitches no offense, man ABDULLAH Dot heads is a slur to hindus so no offense taken, my brother. BOSLEY Yeah, man, I'm sayin chicks of all ethnicities dig on that, man. Because they see, right, they fuckin see that they coulda got raped to, so these bitches, right, they say you caught the guy who was gonna take it from me now let me and four of my hot friends give it to you for free, and shit right we take it in the shitter! FUCK YEAH! Jacked the hell up, Bosley paces uncontrollably in the background. ABDULLAH And now tonight’s guest speakers, who on Sunday night will join yours truly hand in hand as we battle the OAOAST’s favorite sons in a battle of epic proportions... CHRISTAIN WRIGHT and THEODORE MONEYMAKER! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste I've been around for a long, long year Stole many a man's soul and faith It’s nothing but love at the podium as Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright and Abdullah embrace in a group hug. The Inspirational Leader gleeful as can be. ABDULLAH Brothers Theodore and Christian, welcome to my House of Worship. MONEYMAKER Thank you for having us on, Spiritual One. First time visitors, long time viewers. I know I speak on behalf of the Enterprise when I say your program is a service to the community. That’s why the Enterprise proudly contributes to your House of Worship. ABDULLAH It’s funding by viewers like you that make this program possible. COLE Boy is that an understatement. Moneymaker’s the one who got Abdullah his own talk segment. MONEYMAKER And it’s because of your guidance that the OAOAST is on the path to a better future. I’ve been asked time and time again by my high powered friends why I’ve decided to do business with someone the likes of Abdullah Nerdly. Well it’s simple. The man delivers on his promises. He promised the Heavenly Rockers would become tag team champions and they did just that. He promised the OAOAST would be mine for a tiny little favor and it just about is. One major obstacle is gone but another stands in my way, and I’ll get to that in a few minutes because I have something to say about the special referee being assigned to our match at Angleslam. ABDULLAH Please do. The ruling befuddles the Spiritual One. After all, was it not the Sexual Monster who got his team into a mess? Why the need to level the playing field a bit? MONEYMAKER Believe it or not, I actually favor the idea of a special referee. ABDULLAH WRIGHT Ah, gentle spirit, that is no different a visage than the one claimed to me when Mister Moneymaker informed me of this same belief. MONEYMAKER That’s right. You heard me. I favor the idea. You know why? Because the Usual Suspects won’t have any excuse when they go down in defeat! BWAHAHA! WRIGHT Far be it for me to suggest the quality of thy words are at all strained, but mayhaps, we shall speak on matters of the otherwise? Speak on those members of a unique subspecies of primate faithfully disbursing their yeoman currency to take delectation in events performed under our entertainment banner? ABDULLAH Yes, the fans. What would you like to say about the fans, my brothers. You may speak freely and honestly in the House of Worship. MONEYMAKER OAOAST Nation, I gotta clear the air. ABDULLAH Clear it my brother. This is a green friendly temple of love. MONEYMAKER Fans, I think you and I may have got off on the wrong foot. I think somewhere along the line, somewhere in the hundreds of hours of interaction you and I have had, our wires have gotten crossed, our messages have been scrambled and our communication has been disturbed. The result? A very simple, but a very costly misunderstanding. You see, OAOAST Nation, you all view me as the bad guy. The evil loathsome bully, who wants nothing more than to crush any and all he deems unfit to stand in his kingdom. That is your perception, and that is your reality and I'm sorry to say but that's a real shame. ABDULLAH A shame that is of no fault of your own, brother Theodore! WRIGHT Kings do not die for the faults of paupers. MONEYMAKER Either way, there are misconceptions about my methods, my means, and my goals. There are lies, half truths, and wild fabrications about my true intent. Some say I want power, some say I want money, some say I want just want chaos. They think I'm the type to do bad just for sake of doing bad. ABDULLAH No! You are type that does great, because his heart is great! Praise be to Allah and to yourself! MONEYMAKER Yeah, I know, you know, Christian knows, but everyone else thinks that I start fires because I just want to see everything burn, and I've recruited a like minded gang of remorseless maniacs to scorch this earth. As romantic as that is, a crazed rich vilian, just wanting to see something die, I'm afraid it isn't so accurate. I am a man of order. I like things to be neatly organized, everything in its place doing what it is designed to do. That is the beauty of civilization, everyone serving their role. You notice I and The Enterprise do not bother Los Diablos anymore because they are serving their role. As awful and disgusting as it may be it is their station in life and they are not attempting to move beyond it. If Krista Isadora Duncan were just performing the role I see best for her to perform I would happily and openly admire her beauty and intellect instead of trying to corrupt and destroy them both. You see when there is a ripple, when there is something that disturbs the proper order of things I have to react. Zack Malibu and his In Crowd disturb the order of things. They are a problematic and destructive force to an arrangement I took so long to shape. Anglesault on the outs, Josie on the in, The Enterprise as the leading stable in the company, and me pulling the puppet strings. A model of order, that I was able to enjoy for all of about three weeks before they came along to ruin it. But there's more! ABDULLAH Haven't these cretins done enough to us? MONEYMAKER Worst of all, at least in my mind, is with their desturction they bring a whole heap of lies. I can't tolerate that. In addition to creating order, I also bring the truth. Because in truth there is a certain...order. WRIGHT Zack Malibu, Leon Rodez, Sly Sommers, Bohemoth. "If you aren't in the In Crowd You're Insignifcant." Witless prattlings told by idiots full of sound and empty of meaning. You four heartless fiends read your lines well, but play your roles so poorly. This above all to thine ownself be true, do I know you not to be four horsemen riding for the greater good of this professional wrestling establishment. What softheaded blatherskites have you judged us as, that you might think we'd play part and parcel to the belief that you're of the mind to work towards the greater benefit of your erstwhile companions. No. By the honor of my kin and stablemates, do I hold it not a sin to brand you as you are! You are an empty, selfish and soulless lot, as no more bound together than any lose confederation of men who's time in our athletic venue has reached its final sunset. MONEYMAKER There's no unity, no common ground between them. In short there is no order. The Enterprise exmplifies order. Machine like order. Everyone with a purpose, everyone in their place, everyone doing their duty. The In Crowd is an archaic relic gone haywire. There's nothing of substance there, there's no real inkling that they're a solid group. I could spend hours and hours providing you with evidence to support my claim and over the coming weeks I just may do that. But tonight, me and Christian wish to give you some food for thought for Angleslam. Everyone likes to think of Zack and Leon as bosom buddies. Zack is the straight laced family guy and Leon is his happy go lucky fun loving tag partner, and through it all they get along honky dory. Right? Uh-uh! Wrong! Get along? For the longest time they could hardly stand each other! They were at each other's throats like no one ever before. You all think that I pick on Krista too much? Why don't you take a look at how your Franchise treated his "little brother" before you complain about what I do to our Red Carpet Princess? Go ahead and see just what kind of "team" The Usual Suspects actually are. Go on and watch, Zack Malibu at his truest. MONEYMAKER And people call me a miserable hate filled bastard? BWAHAHAHAAA! Yep, just as I thought, as long as Leon is willing to play good obedient lap dog, he's welcome to have the honor and privledge of tagging with the great Zack Malibu. But, of course, when Mister Rodez develops a mind of his own, however poorly functioning and pea sized it may be, and has any desire to make something of himself beyond fellating Zack at every chance, you all know how quickly Malibu will disable The New Age Love Machine. As the old saying goes with friends like that who needs enemies? Leon Rodez, if I were you, I'd be thanking my lucky stars I have D*LUX to fall back on when Zack tells you to hit the Rodez jack. Hilarious pun intended. ABDULLAH Eye opening. Eye opening, brothers. I thank you, the prophets thank you, and the newly enlightended minds of the world thank you. What kind of men are these? Men without a hair on their body that's to be trusted to even do so much as blow in the wind! We saw truth, and it hurt, but we will heal and we will all be better for it! Please go on. MONEYMAKER We know the Usual Suspects are going to be fighting with a chip on their shoulder. In their minds it wasn’t Bohemoth who did the screwing, it was he who got screwed. But they won’t be the only ones fighting inspired, so will we in honor of one brave woman. She’s an inspiration to us and women the world over... MACKENZIE DECENZO! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Looking more like the old Jade Rodez in bagging clothing, a makeup less Mackenzie DeCenzo is whisked to the staging area by V.I.C.E. COACH (clapping) Teddy was right. Mackie is an inspiration to us all. To be on television after such a violent crime is a testament to her determination to move on with her life. What a way to stick it to her rapist. COLE Wait a minute now. Bo is innocent until proven guilty. COACH Didn’t you hear what the Boz said? They’ve got his DNA. Abdullah blesses Mackie who begins to tear up. ABDULLAH (comforting) There, there, my child. Let it out. MACKENZIE Spiritual One, I want to thank you for guiding me through this horrific time in my life. What happened to me I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. But I must come to terms with the fact I was... I was raped. Abdullah and the guys comfort Mackie some more. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh, this is Academy Award winning stuff right here. COACH It’s attitudes like yours that cause thousands of women never to report their attack. You, sir, ought to be ashamed of yourself. MACKENZIE If only I could turn back time and retract my comments about...that man, sparing me the worst night in my life. ABDULLAH It’s not your fault. It’s so not your fault. MACKENZIE But..but...I must have did something... MONEYMAKER You did nothing more but be a strong, proud woman, unafraid to stand up for her rights to personal freedoms. You are...amazing. I am in awe of you. WRIGHT Bravo. Bravo to you, Mackenzie DeCenzo. MONEYMAKER If only our constitutional rights to carry conceled weapons were upheld in every state! Then the tragedy would have been avoided, the sexual monster would be dead, and they would serve taco salad at his funeral. And it would be tasty. WRIGHT But, nay, dear sir, the culinarian personnel in his future bastille shall not serve him that sapid a dish as taco salad! However, I may be so bold as to predict he will be tossing plenty of salads in his future. MONEYMAKER BWHAHAHAAHAH! CPA When I say pick up the soap, you pick up the damn soap! BOSLEY He's gonna find out what The Erotic Awakening Of Bohemoth really is. Its getting woken up in the middle of the night by fifteen members of the Aryan Nation running a train on him! ABDULLAH An eye for an eye! That is true justice! MACKENZIE I just can’t shake what happened to me. One minute I was playing pinball, the next I had Bo come up and ask whether I wanted to play with his balls, but he... *sobs* ... just wouldn’t take no for an answer. I just wanted him to stop...stop hurting me...my parents watch this show...and....why did he do this to me? Why god why? Unable to control her painful emotion and freely flowing river of tears, Mackenzie falls onto the shoulder of the Spirtual One. He strokes her bright blond hair as his own sorrowful tears well in the corner of his eyes. WRIGHT MONEYMAKER ABDULLAH GOD DAMN YOU SEXUAL MONSTER!!! COMMERCIAL

COLE Well folks, we're back, and if you're just joining us, Maggie Nerdly was helped out of the ring after a brutal assault by Reject... *replay shows as Cole continues to speak* COLE The supposed riot guards that were there to protect Maggie turned out to be the remaining members of the Deadly Alliance, who thwarted the attempts of Maggie brothers MEL and MARV as well as D*LUX to make a save as Reject continued his assault, until finally the World champion, Tha Puerto Rican, was able to help clear the ring! Cut backstage, where numerous superstars, such as Jumbo, Deuce Deuce Bigelow, Denzel Spencer, and others, along with OAOAST officials are teaming up to move the forklift. COLE The In-Crowd was, and is still trapped in their dressing room by that forklift, as we see superstars now arriving to help move that forklift out from in front of the door, and it looks like it's going to go now! The crowd finally pulls the forklift from in front of the door, and Jamie O'Hara opens it. As soon as he does the four In Crowd members drag themselves out, looking mightly frustrated, especially Leon who brushes past everyone else to head off, presumably after Maggie. D*LUX get to him first though having come from the ring to help out. LEON What happened, where's Maggie? TYLER They're checking on her in the trainer's room. SHAYNE Yeah, MARV and MEL are with her. Hearing that, Leon doesn't seem quite so eager to go to her aide all of a sudden. ZACK Anyone got any idea who did this!? The assembled crowd of wrestlers all mumble and shake their heads. BO What do you mean 'who did this'? Take a wild guess. ZACK Well much as I'd love to take this up with Alf and co. right this second, we don't kno... BO Alf!? Forget Alf, I was talking about Moneymaker. ZACK What does Moneymaker have to do with it? BO Same thing he has to do with everything. ZACK Well if we're going on previous, it's just as likely to be Maddix and his crew. Listen, you guys keep your eyes open okay, I think it's pretty clear there's a whole lot of people out there that can't be trusted. I'm gonna try and find someone with access to the security cameras, get this thing cleared up before we... JUMBO Uh... Jumbo holds up the broken remnants of the hall's camera lying on the floor. SLY That might be a problem. ZACK Son of a... okay, forget it. We'll figure it out another way. LEON Look, it's pretty clear whoever it was, they were trying to keep me in there, not anyone else. So it's my problem. You guys were just, I dunno, 'accessories'. ZACK You're probably right. But we don't know that. Not for sure. Besides, if they're locking the In Crowd in their locker room, it's an In Crowd problem. Look, you just go check on Maggie okay? Leon sighs and jogs off, leaving Zack, Sly and Bo to shake their heads at the situation they've found themselves in. COACH Jeez, what a bunch of drama queens. Somebody parks in front of their door by mistake and they have to turn it into some sort of murder mystery or something! COLE Well I guess it goes to show just how volatile this situation is getting with all of these elitre groups in the OAOAST, all trying to claim dominance over the other... nobody can trust anybody anymore! COACH That's all well and good, but suggesting Mr. Moneymaker would have something to do with it? Or Landon Maddix? That's slander where I come from! COLE You mean Kansas? COACH Exactly! COMMERCIAL LATER TONIGHT MASTER DEBATATION FODDER LANDON MADDIX AGAINST KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN MONEY IN THE BANK FINALS DEBATE! TONIGHT! BUT NEXT! THE HOUSE OF WORSHIP WITH SPECIAL GUEST SPEAKERS THEODORE MONEYMAKER AND CHRISTIAN WRIGHT NEXT!

Pee break over! With freshly cleared out bladders we return to our couches, chairs and beanbags to the live arena. COLE We're back here on HeldDOWN~!, and Maggie Nerdly is set to speak with Reject here in the middle of the ring! This should be most interesting! COACH Maggie brought some protection with her, too! We cut to the ring, where Maggie Nerdly is standing with three riot guards surrounding her. MAGGIE Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome one half of the OAOAST World tag team champions, REJECT! Final Ride by TRU hits, and Reject slowly makes his way through the curtains, holding a microphone. COLE And here comes Reject, this is his first interaction with Maggie since July 31, when he lost to Leon Rodez in the Money in the Bank quarterfinals! COACH And them ain't the bedroom eyes we saw from back then either, Cole! COLE Absolutely not, nothing but hatred in those eyes, directed at Maggie in the ring! Reject climbs into the ring, and stands close to the ropes. Maggie starts to speak, but Reject holds his hand up, cutting her off. REJECT You know, Mag, you amaze me. Even after the beating I gave your alleged "boyfriend" a few weeks ago...even after all the threats...even after putting your own sister in the hospital...now you brought your little swat team out here...it amazes me, the lengths you continue to go to get close to the R-Man. *crowd boos* MAGGIE Oh please, I am so over you... REJECT Well, guess what? I'll never be over you, Maggie. You'll never get rid of me. All the cops you bring with you, all the wrestlers you do favors for in exchange for trying to put me out...it doesn't matter. You'll never know it when I get to you. MAGGIE Well, this is off to a good start. Let me ask you about AngleSlam. You and Thunderkid defend your World tag team titles in a tables, ladders, and chairs match. *crowd cheers* REJECT Yeah, let's talk about something else. You know, there's a lot of bragging rights at stake this Sunday. You've got the Beverly Hills Blonds, representing the Enterprise. You've got D*LUX...those guys are tight with the In Crowd, hell, they're practically members through association with Leon. So I can't wait to take out some of this aggression on those four scrubs, and further establish the Deadly Alliance as the most powerful force in the wrestling universe. *crowd boos* REJECT But you know, Mag...I've got a hunch...I've got a feeling that that's not what you brought me out here to ask me. So, what exactly do you want? Maggie pauses for a few, then raises the mic. MAGGIE Did you happen to see what happened to Mackenzie DeCenzo last week? REJECT (shrugs) I didn't see it happen. I saw the aftermath. MAGGIE Would you happen to know how this happened? REJECT How should I know? I saw it just like everyone else did, through a TV monitor. But having watched the show...I think it's obvious that the guy you're looking for, is a certain Metrosexual Monster representing the In Crowd. *crowd boos* REJECT Yeah, let it out, people! Typical Texans! Boo the greatest foursome in the history of wrestling, but you cheer for a sexual deviant like Bohemoth! *crowd cheers* COLE Oh yeah, look who's talking! COACH Shut up! MAGGIE I don't suppose said assault would be any connection to you hospitalizing my sister, or laying out Megan Skye last week, would it? REJECT No...I told you. If I had made this attack on Mackenzie DeCenzo...not only would I admit it to you right here...I would have made sure it was captured on camera in the first place. The crowd boos as Reject stares into the main camera. COLE That's sick, Coach. REJECT Kind of like this! Suddenly, Reject delivers the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 to Maggie! COLE Wait a...NO! The riot guards, surprised, step over Maggie and panic, then face off with Reject. As this happens, the Christ Air Express rushes down to the ring! COLE And here come MEL and MARV to get their sister out of here... The CAE slides into the rin...only to be jumped by the riot guards! COLE And now the riot guards attacking MEL and MARV! What the fuck is going on here?! The riot guards then turn back to Reject, and remove their masks, revealing Thunderkid, Alfdogg, and Sandman9000! COACH COLE It's the Deadly Alliance! This is a damn setup! The camera then cuts backstage, to show the In-Crowd beating on their dressing room door, which has a forklift parked in front of it! COLE And there's nothing the In Crowd can do about this heinous assault! As Alf stomps away on MARV, TK holds back MEL for some rights from Sandman...while Reject hooks Maggie's legs, and applies the R-LOCK~!!!!!11111 COLE Oh, no! This is absurd! COACH Shut the fuck up, Cole! Maggie's had this coming for a long time, and Reject is about to unleash weeks of frustration onto her right here! Enjoy it! COLE ...enjoy it? What the fuck is wrong with you?!? Reject drops to the mat, and applies a body scissors in addition to the lock, as Maggie screams in pain and slaps the mat furiously. After several seconds of this, D*LUX comes rushing into the frey! COLE And here comes D*LUX, one of the opponents for TK and Reject this Sunday! Shayne jumps onto the back of TK, as Reject releases his hold on Maggie, but gets caught with right hands from Tyler! COLE Shayne and Tyler have come to even the odds! We cut backstage again, where a few officials have gathered around the forklift and are trying to move it from the door, with no luck. COACH Why don't one of those idiots just jump in it and drive it away from the door? COLE Well, my only guess is they either broke the key off in the lock, or put Super Glue in the lock, something to prevent anyone from starting it! An eight-man brawl ensues around the fallen Maggie in the ring, as Sandman drags MEL to the outside and tosses him into the steel steps! He then grabs a steel chair, and delivers a shot to the back of Shayne! COLE And now Sandman with a steel chair! Sandman then delivers a shot to the back of MARV, and one to the head of Tyler! Reject then grins as he makes his way back to Maggie, before re-applying the R-Lock! COLE And now Reject with the hold back on! Surely there's got to be someone who can stop this! After keeping the hold applied for several seconds longer, Reject releases, then yells at Sandman, before reaching his hand out for the chair. COLE Oh, no. I can only shudder to think what he's going to do with that. Reject grabs the chair, and sets it up around the head of Maggie. COLE Oh my GOD. Someone get out here, now! The remaining DA members hammer D*LUX and the CAE on the outside, as Reject climbs to the top rope. COACH Maggie's got no one left, Cole...this is the en... "THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP" *DUN DUN* "...IS..." *DUN* "...HERE!" COLE HEY! COACH The crowd ERUPTS as hits, and Reject gives a wide eyed look to the entryway as Tha Puerto Rican powerwalks through the curtains and towards the ring, trash-talking Reject on the way. PRL then runs the rest of the way to the ring, as Reject hops off the buckles, and goes for a clothesline, but PRL ducks, and starts delivering rights of his own! COLE The champ has come to save the day! PRL then backs up to mid-ring, does the "come on" motion to Reject until he's in position, and delivers SWEET CHIN MUSIC~!, sending Reject flying over the top to the floor! COLE BIG superkick, and Reject to the outside! TK slides in, and gets floored with a right hand, as D*LUX and the CAE have regained the advantage on the floor! Alf is sent into the steel steps, then D*LUX and the CAE slide inside, as TK slides out into the aisleway. The DA retreats up the aisle, as Know Your Role 2000 starts up again, and PRL stares down the aisle at the DA with his hands on his knees, and a member of D*LUX on each side, while MEL and MARV check on Maggie. The camera then focuses on Reject, midway up the aisle behind the others, with a big, evil smirk on his face. COACH It doesn't matter though, Cole! The U.S. basketball team got their redemption in China on Sunday, and tonight, Reject got his! COLE ...that's just a ludicrous comparison. I'm not even going to respond to that. COACH You just did! COLE Reject has struck again here tonight, this time finally getting to Maggie Nerdly, and who knows the damage that has been done here...folks, we've got to take a break right now, but we'll keep you up to date on this situation when we come back. D*LUX joins MEL and MARV in checking on Maggie, as we go to commercial. COMMERCIAL

After we're brought back to a very excited Coach sitting on the edge of his seat at Sofa Central. COACH Yo, yo, yo! Earlier tonight Baron Windells did his best "catcher" audition for the next edition of big white dicks for cum hungry chicks, and got a nice taste test of Mister Dick's 100% pure Pale Ale. But, but, word has it, MD is branching out from the vocation of nutting on dudes and has just signed a record deal with Epic! So, here to sing his first hit, I give you country music's next hit sensation, The Human Hard On Mister Dick! The view switches backstage to a lockeroom empty of everybody besides Mister Dick, sitting on a stool and holding and acoustic gutiar. He smiles a leering, perverted smile into the camera as the audience attacks his images with jeers. MISTER DICK Ha-ha! Hello, Corpus Christi! Great to be back in the Lone Star state! I bet my good pal Baron'd say the same thing, but his mouth is probably still a bit full. I wrote this diddy on a warm August night, actually it was tonight. About two minutes ago. Before I forget, because I'm excited and all this is my first live performances, I wanna make sure I dedicate it to my dearly departed friend, Baron Windels. You ain't dead yet, hoss, but good chances are you will be at Angleslam, and I'll be sure to bring my dogs by to leave ya a nice parting gift on yer tombstone. Least I can do for ya, good buddy, after all ya did to me. Alright enough of flappin my gums about that sweaty asscrack, this song takes me back to a pretty memorable moment of my great life. The time I jerked off on Baron Windels on live television. It was twenty minutes ago, but the memories are still fresh in my mind, and the cum stains are still fresh on Baron's shirt. I done named this track "Cum on your body" and I hope the heck ya'll enjoy it! Mister Dick begins strumming his guitar to the tune of Justin Timberlake's Rock your body MISTER DICK Got sperm, and I don't mind Just wanna put on you boy You'll have whatever I have cause my dicks the replica of a major sex toy See, I've been watching you And I think you need my juice So all you gotta do is just close your eyes when I cum on you So I grab my balls Tug em with the strength of thor jerk my dick like its grand prix while Baron lies on the middle of the floor Said my dick is thick and my ass is squeezed tight so I jerk to my left and I cum in his eye Don't you dare turn your face away Shouldn't have messed with me I wanna cum on your body With my white spray You have to admit, I just turned you gay Just lemme cum on you till the break of day COACH Freestyle it, Mister Dick! Mister Dick sets down his instrument as a hugely obesse member of the production crew dressed as Baron Windells and wearing high heels a black skirt and heavy, heavy makeup dances onto the scene. MISTER DICK You just mad 'cause I knocked yer ass out But, you're gonna get madder when I whip my cock out Mister Dick's cock bigger than old school portable phone Baron Windells, you're about to get cummed on Human Hard On versus one dumb ho He talked shit on me Now my cums about to flow Messin with Jock ain't the thing to do So now me and nuts number one and number two Gonna bust a nut bigger than a masterbatin Shamu He just mad cause I went from Gunslinger to cumslinger Some body needs to ask why he whinin like a bitch on Springer let the cum flow liberal like I was a left winger You just mad 'cause I knocked yo ass out But, you're gonna get madder when I whip my cock out Mister Dick's cock bigger than old school portable phone Baron Windells, you're about to get cummed on This dumb ho he played fool Now I'm reduce him to shit like 2 Girls 1 Cup video Jizz gonna blind him like Agent Smith did Neo Am I afraid? Gee-oh, I really don't know Baron's soft, he's nothing but a tae bo ho I'll leave him redder than his menstrual flow You just mad 'cause I knocked yo ass out But, you're gonna get madder when I whip my cock out Mister Dick's cock bigger than old school portable phone Baron Windells, you're about to get cummed on! "BARON" drops to his knees and the angle changes to Jock filmed from above, replaying what will go down in history as the OAOAST's most infamous moment, popping off on the imitator of his former partner. COACH DAAAAAAYUM! Mister Dick's gonna be the first dude to win a CMT and a BET award! He a crossover star! Get the niggas and the honkies buyin up his shit! I'm lookin forward to his MTV reality show "Pimp my dick" because I was lookin to get a little TV that shows reruns of The Jeffersons. Tight! Hook me up Mister Dick! COLE I'd like a little ring that glows in the dark if possible. LATER TONIGHT HOUSE OF WORSHIP WITH SPECIAL GUEST SPEAKERS THEODORE MONEYMAKER AND CHRISTIAN WRIGHT TONIGHT COMMERCIAL

We return to live action with a view on Sofa Central, and Faith No More's aggressive and violent Another Body Murdered blasting in the background. COLE We are back and we're set for women's action on the eve of AngleSlam, let's send it up to the ring with Michael Buffer! And that we do, to see the sullen face of Holly Mann, formerly Holly-Wood of course. Different name, same bad attitude as she crouches in the middle of the ring impatiently waiting for somebody to get the hell on with things. BUFFER This contest is scheduled for one fall! In the ring, from Las Vegas, Nevada. She is the driving force behind the greatest rock n' wrestling band in all of professional wrestling, The Heavenly Rockers... she is "THE ANGEL OF DEATH"... HHHOOOOOOLLLLLLYYYYYYYY... MMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Hollyman? I don't get it. COLE It's not supposed to be a pun Coach. COACH It's not? Oh. Weak! Holly mouths off to referee Charles Robinson for daring to try and go over some rules, "I've done this before moron" her reply. She then turns her glare back to the entrance way, still impatient. After a long stall surely called for by Krista to build anticipation, finally some music hits. And not music we're used to, the punchy sounds of "When I Grow Up" by The Pussycat Dolls. "Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name" The lights flash purple and often, before eventually out through the entrance walks Jade Rodez-Duncan, ...IN A CHEERLEADER'S OUTFIT!? COLE Wow! COACH Oh lord, it has begun! COLE The Duncanizing of Jade Rodez is complete! Looking more than a little self-conscious Jade walks out with a shy smile on her face, waving quaintly to the crowd. Her quaintness isn't quite the image to be going for though and behind her, ALIX MARIA SPEZIA skips out and starts to try and coach Jade on her entrance. "Here, just follow my lead!" she cries. And as Alix leaps forward and flails around with wild pseudo-cheerleader steps and cheers, Jade tries her darned best to keep up and follow Alix's lead, but following the hyper Alix is some task for the most athletic of people and Jade ends up looking a bit of a mess, completely out of time. To make matters worse, Alix seems to forget halfway through her routine why she's out in the arena and does a splits finale before soaking up the applause of the crowd, completely forgetting about Jade who just decides to leave her to it. "When I grow up I wanna be famous I wanna be a star I wanna be in movies When I grow up I wanna see the world Drive nice cars I wanna have Groupies" BUFFER And making her way to the ring, the opponent. Accompanied to the ring by ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! She now resides in Los Angeles, California! The second generation starlet with a heart of gold... ladies and gentlemen, she is "LITTLE MISS CALIFORNIA"... JJJJAAAAAAADDEEEEEE... RRRRROOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZ - DDUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAANN!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" Jade slides into the ring, her first instinct to pull the hem of her skirt down to not reveal too much leg. COLE Okay, Duncanizing is maybe not quite complete, but this is certainly a dramatic makeover for Jade. No pink tracksuit tops in sight! COACH Duncanizing isn't a word you dolt! It's Duncanifying. Get it right! Still wearing a nervous smile Jade waves to the crowd again, taking a deep, calming breath. Across the ring Holly just sneers at all of this new 'razamatazz'. COLE So, the 'new and improved' in her mother's words Jade Rodez-Duncan, with a pre-AngleSlam tester here tonight. Let's see how Alix's unique training methods have worked. COACH Now, I can't say I don't approve of the new look. But this 'new and improved' talk is gonna get shot down real quick the moment the bell rings, because you know Krista and Alix ain't done squat to prevent Jade stinking up a wrestling ring. She's got a fancy new haircut for the first time in 5 years and a nice manicure, but she's in the ring with a former OAOAST Women's Champion who'll tear all that to shreds in seconds. And this is even before she has to face Malaysia again on Sunday! *DINGDINGDING!* As the bell sounds, Holly walks out towards Jade. Looking to make a good impression, Jade quickly gets the fans clapping in her support and that stops Holly in her tracks yelling at everybody to pipe down. With the crowd going, Jade locks up with Holly and they jockey for position, until Holly sweeps out a foot and causes Jade to faceplant into the canvas! COACH Haha! See, whaddid I tell ya? Rubbing at her nose Jade is called over to the corner by Alix. ALIX Okay, I'm not gonna lie to you... that was pretty embarrassing. But I think that old woman over there was routing through her purse when it happened so I don't think EVERYBODY saw it. Okay, go get 'em! Hardly bouyed by that peptalk Jade walks back into another lock-up. Again there's a tussling for position and Jade seems to fare a little better this time. But Holly uses all her veteran instincts, complaining of a hairpull and taking advantage of the referee stepping out of position for a second as she pulls Jade down to the mat by the hair! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Holly dusts her hands in satisfaction and allows Jade back up. ALIX Come on people! LET'S - GO - JADE - SHE'S - REALLY - GREAT - AND SHE - NEEDS - OUR - HELP - CAUSE SHE'S - NOT - DOING - REAL - GREAT - RIGHT - NOW - YEAH! Surprisingly, that chant doesn't catch on. COACH If it's more than three syllables, these people just ain't responding. Jade dusts herself off and tries one more time engaging with the former Women's Champion. And this time she has an ace up her sleeve, as she surprises Holly with a schoolgirl roll-up! COLE Hey! 1... 2... No! Away scurries Jade to a corner before Holly, angered at the quick roll-up, can do anything about it. COLE Well that was a nice move. COACH It was a roll-up. If that 's what passes for new and improved, she must have been REALLY bad before. And, I guess she was. So go Jade! Hey, maybe she'll do a wristlock next, wouldn't that just be mind-blowing? Suddenly Holly is taking things a touch more serious and she calls Jade back in to get on with the match. Jade first has to get the fans clapping again though. Once that's done she looks for the lock-up... and finds a knee buried in the midsection instead! Holly pounds away on the back with forearms, dropping Jade to all fours and then paintbrushing the side of her head with her boot. Jade tries to get back up quickly, but Holly grabs her newly styled blonde hair and throws her face-first into the canvas! Pushing up, Jade's faced is slammed in again! Holly then turns to Alix as she makes Jade think about it, then slams the face a third time. ALIX Hey... don't I know you? HOLLY Wha... of course you know me you idiot! I'm married to Logan. ALIX Mario Logan? HOLLY No, Logan Mann, Heavenly Rockers, formerly The Saints, you might remember him from kicking your ass so many times? ALIX Nope, doesn't ring a bell. HOLLY Oh for crying out loud Alix, I'm Northstar's step-sister! ALIX Northstar? Nope, doesn't ring a bell. HOLLY Grrr! With Holly distracted with this futile attempt at reminiscing, Jade manages to sneak up with another schoolgirl roll-up! 1... 2... No! Holly is back up quick and stomps Jade down. COLE Jade almost surprising Holly again there, Alix providing a distraction from the outside by just being Alix. COACH Then Jade better hope that Alix is EXTRA Alix on Sunday, she might just stand half a chance of surviving Malaysia if Alix is busy chatting with her. Picking Jade up, Holly scoops and slams the second generation star to the mat. Sitting her up, Holly then backs off the ropes and kicks Jade HARD in the back! Jade cringes in pain and kicks her feet as the stinging sensation goes up and down her spine. Smiling, Holly waits for her to settle before driving the point of her elbow across the chest and giving Jade more reason to suffer. Getting a read on the crowd Alix gets a much simpler support system going with some clapping. It doesn't do Jade a whole lot of good though, as Holly throws her into the corner and delivers a hard clothesline against the turnbuckles. COACH I'm still waiting for the improvement. Although, I guess she looks a little better getting her ass kicked in a cheerleader outfit than in her laundry day clothes. Holly suplexes Jade out of the corner and covers... 1... 2... No! Flipping JRD over, Holly sits across her back and applies a Camel Clutch. COLE I wonder if Abdullah taught her this? COACH Praise be! Right now would be the time to give Jade some support, but Alix hasn't stopped clapping since starting and her hands are aching by now, forcing her to stop. The only sounds Jade can now hear are coming from Holly Mann, badmouthing the teen prodigy as she wrenches at her neck and back. Jade refuses to give up in the hold and eventually Holly gets bored, standing back up and dropping her knee into the lower back. And again. Holly then reaches down and grabs Jade by the skirt, picking her slowly up to her feet. But Jade suddenly responds by throwing back an elbow! Holly gets caught right in the mouth and that allows Jade to turn around and bundle her down with a Spear! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE There we go Jade! Jade climbs back up but her first thought is over her attire, adjusting her cheerleader skirt which Holly caused to rise up a little. Her pre-occupation with keeping her modesty then costs Jade as Holly catches her by surprise, knocking Jade off her feet with a well-placed uppercut to the midsection! COLE And that was a closed fist referee, come on! COACH Don't worry, she's got some padding there. COLE Would you stop!? With Jade hurt Holly takes her time getting back up, very casual as she sets Jade up for a back suplex. Doesn't matter, as she takes Jade up and down with ease and makes a lateral press... 1... 2... No! Holly hauls Jade up again and hooks her by the head, twirling the finger of DEATH~! before falling straight south with a DDT! COLE A little bit of Percussion treatment for Jade. COACH Oh this is going so, so badly. Head in hands, Alix tries to escape to her happy place while Jade is covered up... 1... 2... Kickout! ALIX Alright! What do you know, praying really DOES work! Thanks a bunch, Allah! Jade clenches her fists and tries to get some energy going, despite Holly standing over her with some kicks to the back. Pulled up, Jade is then sent off the ropes and set up for a big clothesline. A scream of "DUCK!" from the outside causes Jade to do just that and it guides her safely under the arm. A scream of "GOOSE!" then distracts Holly, allowing Jade to place both her boots in the kidneys with a not-exactly high-flying front dropkick, the force sending Holly stumbling shoulder-first into the middle turnbuckle pad! COLE A counter by Jade, but she desperately needs to get some offence going here and fast. Around the ring runs Alix, pondering why nobody in the crowd seems to have joined in her game of Duck, Duck, Goose and pondering further on seeing Jade has turned the tide of the match. Holly staggers out of the corner and Ally starts calling a play to Jade. Seriously, she produces a clipboard from nowhere with her play drawn up with pink Xs and Os. Unfortunately the play means nothing to anybody except Alix and Jade is forced to improvise. She calls Holly to a halt, warning her that her shoe is untied. Naturally worried about falling on her face and making a show of herself, Holly looks down at her feet... and Jade slaps her in the back of the head. HOLLY Ow! What the hell was that for? JADE Was that embarrassing? HOLLY Yeah, kinda. JADE Oh... well, uh, good. COACH *slaps forehead* COLE Well, it's a start. After a moment of awkwardness, Holly finally snaps to life and swings for Jade with a clothesline. Again Jade avoids the contact though. Holly puts on the brakes and gets a boot, before Jade returns fire with a DDT of her own! COACH She can't do that! COLE She just did! Hook of the leg... 1... 2... No! "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" The fans get behind Jade and showing none of the blasé attitude of her mother, she draws off of it as Holly stumbles towards her. Jade paws her with an open left hand. Then paws her with an open right. With a guttural shout, Jade then pulls a 360 and knocks Holly down with a big clothesline! COLE Jade showing a little intensity here all of a sudden and listen to the crowd respond! COACH They're firing her up, she's firing them up... that's Rodez stuff, that ain't Duncan form. Dazed, Holly gets caught in a cobra clutch. But she breaks free with some shots to the midsection then grabs Jade and unceremoniously cuts off her fightback by throwing her face-first into the turnbuckles! Jade collapses in a heap. Looking mad now, Holly grabs hold of Jade's hair and drags her out of the corner to warnings from the referee, then SLAPS her with enough force to drop Jade off her feet! Jade sits up seeing stars and not the kind that regularly surround her mother, with her fans now silenced. The stars then go black as Holly rushes across the ring with a clean boot to the face to knock her senseless! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE That was just vicious from Holly Mann. I think Jade succeeded in pissing her off and little else. COACH And when Krista pisses people off, which is pretty much all the time, she uses it to her advantage and makes sure there's no way back from there. She certainly doesn't let her opponent use it to their advantage, to come back and kick her ass. Jadey Jadey, you've got a lot to learn. With Jade stunned from the kick, Holly drags her over to the corner and lifts herself up onto the middle rope, preparing to lower the boom. ALIX Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! HOLLY WHAT!? ALIX So, like, do you realise, like, marrying Logan Mann... name still doesn't ring a bell by the way... like, do you realise that makes you... *sniggers*... Mrs. Mann? *sniggers* That's funny! HOLLY GO AWAY! Holly leaps off the middle rope... ...and lands face-first into Jade's raised boot! COLE Well it would be the Duncan way without Alix hanging around making a nuisance of herself, I guess. As Holly falls back against the turnbuckles, Jade charges in to deliver Double Knees to the chest! After shades of her uncle, Jade then looks to go back to shades of her mother as she goes to the ropes. With very little of Krista's style and grace she climbs to the middle rope and waits for Holly to turn around. When she does turn around though, she does so charging straight towards Jade. Having to think quickly JRD jumps up and over Holly, landing on her feet behind the former Women's Champ... but stopping, tweaking her knee! Holly stops herself before colliding with the turnbuckles and grins as she sees Jade limping, signalling for the end. COACH Time for a trip to Rodeo Drive I think. Holly clubs Jade in the back, hooking her up in a fisherman's set-up. But before she knows what's happening, Jade pulls her down into a shock inside cradle... 1... 2... 3!!! COACH WHAT!? COLE Jade did it! Jade wins! *DINGDINGDING!* Holly sits up in shock as Jade rolls out of the ring, into a celebratory hug from Alix and rousing cheers from the Corpus Christi crowd. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner... JADE RODEZ-DDUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAANN!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Getting a little over-excited Alix lifts Jade up in her arms and twirls her around before setting her back down. Jade just looks a little surprised and mumbles the words "I did it" over and over, hardly the most theatrical celebration. ALIX Oh my God I can't believe it, that was SOOO awesome! The old 'pretend your knee's hurt and limp around until they believe you then roll them up' trick! I haven't even gotten around to teaching you that yet, that's just incredible, you're like telekinetic or something! JADE Uhm, it wasn't trick... I think I've really blown my knee out. ALIX Yeah, that's the spirit, I think these suckers are buying it! JADE Yeah, okay, whatever. Can you help me out? ALIX I see, make it look convincing, I like your style sweetums. Commitment. You got it! Alix puts an arm around the limping Jade and helps her towards the back, leaving Holly Mann to pace around the ring fuming that she lost. ALIX EVERYBODY OUT OF THE WAY! You know, you're a better actor than I ever gave you credit for Jade. You must get that from my DNA. SOMEBODY CALL A PARAMEDIC! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S HOLY! *shakes fist to the ceiling* YOU'RE NOT TAKING THIS ONE YET GOD!!! COLE Well, okay then. Jade, new and improved, picks up the victory and that's hopefully going to be a big confidence booster heading into AngleSlam this Sunday night. She beat a former Women's Champion tonight, now can she go on from here and beat the current Women's Champion Malaysia Nerdly? COACH Not a chance. COLE No chance at all? Coach, she just beat Holly Mann, 1, 2, 3. COACH Say what you want about improvement but Jade still didn't prove a thing to me. She got a fluke roll-up on her and she needed Alix's distraction to even get that far. It's a step up from being a family humiliation every week, but not much of one and certainly not enough of one to beat Malaysia Nerdly! COLE Nobody's saying Jade is the finished article just yet, but you can't argue with results. Since Krista and Alix have taught Jade the Duncay way, she's 1-0. Those are the facts. If everything clicks into place between now and Sunday, especially now that Jade's got some extra confidence, we could well see an upset and a new Women's Champion! COACH That'd be some fairytale story. Here's the thing, fairytales ain't real. You know what's real? Whips. They're real and they hurt. Them's the facts! COLE ...we've got more HeldDOWN~! coming up. Tempting as it may be right now, please don't tune out. *COMMERCIAL BREAK*

After the commercial break comes to a close we go backstage to the locker room hallway where Josh Matthews stands awaiting the arrival of teenyboppin sensations, D*LUX. MATTHEWS Standing by with me right now, co-number one contenders for the World Tag Team Titles, D*LUX! Tyler and Shayne walk into shot, looking in a more serious mood than usual. MATTHEWS Guys, thank you for taking this time out. And... I notice, no Jade with you tonight. SHAYNE Nah, she's getting ready for her match. TYLER And we're on strict orders to stay out of Krista's locker room. MATTHEWS Mm-hmm. Well, I'm sure you are getting ready for Tables, Ladders and Chairs this Sunday night at AngleSlam. Your chance to win the OAOAST World Tag Team Championships for the first time. How are you guys feeling heading into such an important and potentially dangerous match? TYLER We're feeling pretty confident. SHAYNE Absolutely. MATTHEWS Okay, and obviously you guys know a lot about The Beverly Hills Blonds. You're also in there with the World Tag Champs, Thunderkid and Reject, the latter of whom's been very unpredictable the past few weeks. Are you worried about Reject's current state of mind and having to face him at AngleSlam? SHAYNE Not really, nah. TYLER Fact is, Reject is due. And we're the guys to duet. SHAYNE Hey, that was pretty good. Like 'Do it', right? TYLER Uh-huh. MATTHEWS Yeah, good one. So, uh, any last words about TLC on Sunday? TYLER We're ready Josh. SHAYNE Ain't no doubt about it! MATTHEWS Well, there you go folks. D*LUX, men of few words. With his interview over, Josh thanks D*LUX for their time again and heads off, having expected the show to have cut back to ringside no doubt. But it hasn't just yet and before D*LUX can leave the interview set, they're held up by LEON RODEZ sneaking in. LEON Hey guys, what's happening. TYLER Hey, long time no see buddy! LEON Yeah I know. Listen, I was just hanging back, letting you guys do your thing. The talking's coming along pretty well. The 'due', 'duet' line? Clever stuff. Anyway, listen, I know we haven't been hanging out as much as we used to and part of that's because I've just had a million and one things on my mind recently, it's been really crazy. What with this Money In The Bank tournament, everything with Maggie and Reject, now I've got this match at AngleSlam with Moneymaker and co... but, I've been meaning to catch up with you and talk. Because, with this whole In Crowd thing... I don't want you to feel like you're being left out. SHAYNE You mean we can join the In Crowd!? LEON Gee, I don't know about that. Not my call. But that doesn't matter, because we're still Love Generation, right? Tyler and Shayne both nod. LEON Right, good. Me being in the In Crowd isn't going to change that. At least, I don't want it to change that. And hey, you guys are making waves again, just the two of you, big shot at the World Tag Team Titles coming up, huh? SHAYNE Yeah, it's cool. TYLER And we know you've got Zack and Bo and Sly now, but if you ever need us to have your back still, all you gotta do is call. LEON Thanks, I really appreciate that guys. Cause I really could do with catching up and talking sometime, get some stuff off my chest, you know. You guys are welcome to tag along to the post-show party with us, as long as you don't think you'll feel like spare wheels, you know. Any time, just say. Suddenly, after low-fives and pats on the back and all that good stuff, Shayne's neck whips off in another direction, eye caught by something off screen. Both Tyler and Leon notice it too after a second and they all look a little dumfounded. Annoyingly, the camera guy doesn't think it neccessary to show us what they're looking at though. SHAYNE Dude... is that Jade!? LEON What the HELL is she wearing!? The Love Gen trio continue looking off in astonishment and we continue not to be able to see! Gah! COLE What IS Jade wearing!? We'll find out, NEXT! *COMMERCIAL BREAK*

It is a yes. Your god is docile, alf. Do not tempt his incredibe wreath. Wrath. I do have some awesome fall wreaths though if you all want me to post pictures! One time a bat was in there and the pizza dude rolled up to deliver a pizza and the bat attacked him and he ran away into his car but he dropped the pizza and I got it for free! That was awesome!!!!

i can see ur alls fancy mod only folder is i god? Shit if I only knew what anything in there refered to

Your blue mod group control panel is but an unimposing hinderance to the will of a god, Alf! i get money money is got i get money is got i get i get i get i get money i run new york!

Patty rule in effect. Is it still called patty rule if I am patty?! [i]tomorrow, only tomorrow tomorrow, only tomorrow Sajo see you tomorrow Sajo jon te i fe, Ousmane ko ka bi fe ka bi fe koniete ka le te sigi Sajo jon te i fe malienw[/i] The glorious and soul searing tenor of [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZM4NIVIOUI"]Salif Keita's Tomorrow[/url] join with even more glorious images of Abdullah Abir Nerdly speaking the message of the prophets to the citizens of various countries, as well as being flocked to by children and fawned over by women. [color="#008080"][font="Impact"][size=7]HOUSE OF WORSHIP[/size][/font][/color] With your Inspirational Leader....[b][color="#008080"]Abdullah Abir Nerdly[/color][/b] [b]Tonight’s Guest Speakers: [color="#2E8B57"]Theodore Moneymaker & Christian Wright[/color][/b] "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Escorted by a bevy of beauties in belly dancer costumes, Abdullah walks a yellow brick road towards his House of Worship, a mellow Arabic chant playing overhead. Once at the podium Abdullah thanks his beauties with a simple gesture, a nod of the head, and they wander off backstage. Then a single beam of light shines down on the Spiritual One. ABDULLAH I open my sermon this evening with news of yet another of your false idols has fallen from grace. Bohemoth it seems is more than just the Metrosexual Monster, he’s a sexual monster! As I speak he and a certain individual who shall remain nameless are in all likelihood instant messaging their tales of debauchery to each other. Nonetheless, a vocal minority fail to believe the accusations leveled against the Sexual Monster. Therefore I have arranged for the lead detective on the case to appear live tonight in order to put to rest any doubts a violent crime was committed. His name is Detective Tango Bosley! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Perhaps the first law enforcement official in history to have a theme song, "In the Air Tonight" by Nonpoint, played on his way to a press conference, the Boz is joined by fellow V.I.C.E. squad member CPA who possess a small brown paper bag. COLE What?! Does the Enterprise really expect us to believe a fair investigation could be conducted by Tango Bosley? He’s on the take! COACH I wouldn’t say that. COLE Then how would you describe his relationship with Theodore Moneymaker? COACH Well, uh... I mean... Similar to that of Commissioner Gordon and Batman! Yeah, that’s it. They’re trying to make the OAOAST a better place. Abdullah welcomes V.I.C.E. into his HOW. ABDULLAH Why, I’ve never felt more protected in my life than I do right now standing around you gentlemen. BOSLEY Speaking of protection, Spiritual One, the perp in our case thought he could beat the system by using such extra precautions. But it’s a classic case of million dollar body, 10 cent brain, because after the brutal assault a key piece of evidence was left behind, the contents of which my partner CPA holds in that brown bag. ABDULLAH You don’t mean...? BOSLEY DNA evidence that conclusively proves the apprehended perp committed the assault, yes. NOW HOW ‘BOUT SOME PROPS FOR CRACKING THE CASE? WHAT A FUCKIN’ RUSH! GIVE THE ALPHA MALE OF THE GROUP SOME!!! ABDULLAH Praise Allah for detectives the caliber of Tango Bosley. CPA Right on, man. Right on. BOSLEY FUCK YEAH!! I'm sayin, man, this is the kinda shit bitches dig. They love this shit. You roll up into the fuckin' club and you start in with about how you just nailed a rapist, you ain't gotta rape someone that night, because you are getting that fucking ass! Black bitches, white bitches, Dot head bitches no offense, man ABDULLAH Dot heads is a slur to hindus so no offense taken, my brother. BOSLEY Yeah, man, I'm sayin chicks of all ethnicities dig on that, man. Because they see, right, they fuckin see that they coulda got raped to, so these bitches, right, they say you caught the guy who was gonna take it from me now let me and four of my hot friends give it to you for free, and shit right we take it in the shitter! FUCK YEAH! Jacked the hell up, Bosley paces uncontrollably in the background. ABDULLAH And now tonight’s guest speakers, who on Sunday night will join yours truly hand in hand as we battle the OAOAST’s favorite sons in a battle of epic proportions... CHRISTAIN WRIGHT and THEODORE MONEYMAKER! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" [i]Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste I've been around for a long, long year Stole many a man's soul and faith[/i] It’s nothing but love at the podium as Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright and Abdullah embrace in a group hug. The Inspirational Leader gleeful as can be. ABDULLAH Brothers Theodore and Christian, welcome to my House of Worship. MONEYMAKER Thank you for having us on, Spiritual One. First time visitors, long time viewers. I know I speak on behalf of the Enterprise when I say your program is a service to the community. That’s why the Enterprise proudly contributes to your House of Worship. ABDULLAH It’s funding by viewers like you that make this program possible. COLE Boy is that an understatement. Moneymaker’s the one who got Abdullah his own talk segment. MONEYMAKER And it’s because of your guidance that the OAOAST is on the path to a better future. I’ve been asked time and time again by my high powered friends why I’ve decided to do business with someone the likes of Abdullah Nerdly. Well it’s simple. The man delivers on his promises. He promised the Heavenly Rockers would become tag team champions and they did just that. He promised the OAOAST would be mine for a tiny little favor and it just about is. One major obstacle is gone but another stands in my way, and I’ll get to that in a few minutes because I have something to say about the special referee being assigned to our match at Angleslam. ABDULLAH Please do. The ruling befuddles the Spiritual One. After all, was it not the Sexual Monster who got his team into a mess? Why the need to level the playing field a bit? MONEYMAKER Believe it or not, I actually favor the idea of a special referee. ABDULLAH :huh: WRIGHT Ah, gentle spirit, that is no different a visage than the one claimed to me when Mister Moneymaker informed me of this same belief. MONEYMAKER That’s right. You heard me. I favor the idea. You know why? Because the Usual Suspects won’t have any excuse when they go down in defeat! BWAHAHA! WRIGHT Far be it for me to suggest the quality of thy words are at all strained, but mayhaps, we shall speak on matters of the otherwise? Speak on those members of a unique subspecies of primate faithfully disbursing their yeoman currency to take delectation in events performed under our entertainment banner? ABDULLAH Yes, the fans. What would you like to say about the fans, my brothers. You may speak freely and honestly in the House of Worship. MONEYMAKER OAOAST Nation, I gotta clear the air. ABDULLAH Clear it my brother. This is a green friendly temple of love. MONEYMAKER Fans, I think you and I may have got off on the wrong foot. I think somewhere along the line, somewhere in the hundreds of hours of interaction you and I have had, our wires have gotten crossed, our messages have been scrambled and our communication has been disturbed. The result? A very simple, but a very costly misunderstanding. You see, OAOAST Nation, you all view me as the bad guy. The evil loathsome bully, who wants nothing more than to crush any and all he deems unfit to stand in his kingdom. That is your perception, and that is your reality and I'm sorry to say but that's a real shame. ABDULLAH A shame that is of no fault of your own, brother Theodore! WRIGHT Kings do not die for the faults of paupers. MONEYMAKER Either way, there are misconceptions about my methods, my means, and my goals. There are lies, half truths, and wild fabrications about my true intent. Some say I want power, some say I want money, some say I want just want chaos. They think I'm the type to do bad just for sake of doing bad. ABDULLAH No! You are type that does great, because his heart is great! Praise be to Allah and to yourself! MONEYMAKER Yeah, I know, you know, Christian knows, but everyone else thinks that I start fires because I just want to see everything burn, and I've recruited a like minded gang of remorseless maniacs to scorch this earth. As romantic as that is, a crazed rich vilian, just wanting to see something die, I'm afraid it isn't so accurate. I am a man of order. I like things to be neatly organized, everything in its place doing what it is designed to do. That is the beauty of civilization, everyone serving their role. You notice I and The Enterprise do not bother Los Diablos anymore because they are serving their role. As awful and disgusting as it may be it is their station in life and they are not attempting to move beyond it. If Krista Isadora Duncan were just performing the role I see best for her to perform I would happily and openly admire her beauty and intellect instead of trying to corrupt and destroy them both. You see when there is a ripple, when there is something that disturbs the proper order of things I have to react. Zack Malibu and his In Crowd disturb the order of things. They are a problematic and destructive force to an arrangement I took so long to shape. Anglesault on the outs, Josie on the in, The Enterprise as the leading stable in the company, and me pulling the puppet strings. A model of order, that I was able to enjoy for all of about three weeks before they came along to ruin it. But there's more! ABDULLAH Haven't these cretins done enough to us? MONEYMAKER Worst of all, at least in my mind, is with their desturction they bring a whole heap of lies. I can't tolerate that. In addition to creating order, I also bring the truth. Because in truth there is a certain...order. WRIGHT Zack Malibu, Leon Rodez, Sly Sommers, Bohemoth. "If you aren't in the In Crowd You're Insignifcant." Witless prattlings told by idiots full of sound and empty of meaning. You four heartless fiends read your lines well, but play your roles so poorly. This above all to thine ownself be true, do I know you not to be four horsemen riding for the greater good of this professional wrestling establishment. What softheaded blatherskites have you judged us as, that you might think we'd play part and parcel to the belief that you're of the mind to work towards the greater benefit of your erstwhile companions. No. By the honor of my kin and stablemates, do I hold it not a sin to brand you as you are! You are an empty, selfish and soulless lot, as no more bound together than any lose confederation of men who's time in our athletic venue has reached its final sunset. MONEYMAKER There's no unity, no common ground between them. In short there is no order. The Enterprise exmplifies order. Machine like order. Everyone with a purpose, everyone in their place, everyone doing their duty. The In Crowd is an archaic relic gone haywire. There's nothing of substance there, there's no real inkling that they're a solid group. I could spend hours and hours providing you with evidence to support my claim and over the coming weeks I just may do that. But tonight, me and Christian wish to give you some food for thought for Angleslam. Everyone likes to think of Zack and Leon as bosom buddies. Zack is the straight laced family guy and Leon is his happy go lucky fun loving tag partner, and through it all they get along honky dory. Right? Uh-uh! Wrong! Get along? For the longest time they could hardly stand each other! They were at each other's throats like no one ever before. You all think that I pick on Krista too much? Why don't you take a look at how your Franchise treated his "little brother" before you complain about what I do to our Red Carpet Princess? Go ahead and see just what kind of "team" The Usual Suspects actually are. Go on and watch, Zack Malibu at his truest. [quote] [b]OAOAST HeldDOWN~! 1/6/05[/b] Zack takes one of the World Tag Team Titles and runs up the ropes, posing with it, while across the ring Tony raises his belt over his head. Malibu then turns and tosses the belt down to Dan Black, who holds it in one hand and raises it up, tilting his head back and cackling gleefully as he and his associates gloat. As the song fades out, Malibu heads over to the ropes and requests the mic, tapping it a few times to cue the sound guy to cut the music out completely so that he can speak. Malibu pauses, and converses off mic with his contingent, allowing the fans to absorb what he's just said, before continuing. MALIBU Next up in '05 we have Leon Rodez. Little Leon, trying so hard...SO HARD to make a name for himself. The thing is, Leon, you're doing it at the expense of the wrong man. You want to be a name that bad, my friend? You want so hard to be able to say you climbed that ladder, all the way, from the openers to the X Division to taking out the greatest star this company has ever seen? It didn't happen for you before '04 became history, and the future doesn't look to bright for you, Silky. You're another one, along with those stupid girls and the bop-boys, oh and who can forget Josh Matthews, Mr. Superstar who thinks he's a big man because he pinned me after what, nine people ran in? YOU GUYS are supposed to be the force to be reckoned with? Please, you make Mario and the Dungeon of Doom look like my In Crowd in comparision! In fact I don't think anyone could measure up to you, because we are not only the past, but we are the present and the future of this company! YOU HEAR ME PEOPLE! THIS IS YOUR FUTURE, RIGHT HERE! [b]LATER IN THE SHOW[/B] In the plush surroundings of Bill Watts' office, X-Division Champion Leon Rodez sits lounged in front of Watts with his X-Title placed over his shoulder, whistling away to himself as he waits for Watts to finish off some paperwork. Rodez's feet seem to be hovering between floor and table awkwardly as he shuffles about, trying to get comfortable. Trying in vain it seems. WATTS (shrugs) If you're willing to put the belt on the line against Zack Malibu, then more power to ya. But...you gotta be sure. RODEZ I'm sure, okay. Jeezus, why does everybody talk about Zack like he's some sort of a...mythological figure of the OAOAST. Anyone would think he was unbeatable, the way people talk. The GPX think I'm crazy for getting into the ring with him. I spoke to Alix and all she can do is warn me about asking for a match with him. And now, here you are, acting like I'm signing a death warrant rather than a contract for a wrestling match. WATTS Speaking of which... Watts flops another sheet of paper on the table, which Rodez looks at curiously. RODEZ ...a waiver? WATTS Yah. It says that if you get injured by Zack, you cannot hold the company responsible. RODEZ You're kidding me, right? I'm signing up for a singles match Bill. A singles match! WATTS Yes I know, but with the frame of mind Malibu has been in recently, we gotta take precautions. Let's face it. You saw what he did at Climax. The guy's a loose cannon. And... RODEZ ...what? And what? WATTS Well, I'm sure Zack still remembers your part in his loss to Josh Matthews. If he can do what he did to someone like Alix, you can imagine what he might do to you. RODEZ Nobody gives me a hope in hell, do they? (chuckles) Everyone thinks...I'm just gonna be another Zack Malibu victim, don't they. Which is EXACTLY why I want this match! Zack Malibu thinks that he's above everyone else in this company and he's managed to convince quite a few people that he's right, or so it seems. [/quote] [quote][b]OAOAST HeldDOWN 12/13/04[/b] [b]Zack Malibu Vs Josh Matthews[/b] Malibu releases Josh, and suddenly it's three on three, with old rivals Black T and GPX pairing off, and Malibu taking on Rodez! All six men do battle, as Josh rolls out to the floor, and it's a melee in the ring! Static clotheslines Dan over the ropes, Tony is hurled out by Jackson, leaving just Malibu and Rodez! Zack regains the advantage, firing off lefts and rights to stagger the X Division superstar, but when he goes to Irish whip him, the move is reversed, and Leon pulls Zack in close, hitting an inverted atomic drop! With Malibu staggered, Leon winds up, and starts peppering Zack with jabs...because Mama Said Knock You Out! Malibu is hobbling as Leon finishes off the punches, and he leaps up for the finale, an enzugiri...but Malibu ducks it! Leon crumples to the mat, and Zack quickly bounds for the ropes, rebounding and cracking a recovering Leon in the side of the head with a Zack Attack that sends him spilling out of the ring! CABOOSE I love it! That makes two men whose asses he's kicked! Both Black T and GPX continue brawling, having taken their brawl up into the crowd! With Leon disposed of, Malibu looks for Matthews, but the crowd pops yet again as Alix Spezia runs out and nails Zack from behind with a low blow! COACH DING! Malibu falls to his knees, but before Alix can follow up, Candie comes in and tackles her! The two girls start rolling around on the mat, and it's a good old fashioned CAAAAAAAAAAAATFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! COACH Oh man, I gotta get me some of that! CABOOSE You've gotta get you some, period. Candie gets the advantage, and pulls Alix up, tossing her into the corner, then charging in...but Alix nails her with an elbow to drive her away! Candie stumbles, and Alix quickly takes her by the head, then kicks off the middle ropes, spiking her with a Tornado DDT! COLE Alix just took out Candie! COACH I'd like to take out Can... COLE COACHMAN COME ON, there's chaos in the ring, and...LOOK OUT ALIX! As Alix celebrates, she gets up, and turns right around into SCHOOL'S OUT...NO! ALIX CATCHES ZACK'S FOOT, AND SWINGS HIM AROUND...RIGHT INTO A SPRINGBOARD SUNSET FLIP FROM JOSH MATTHEWS! COLE HE'S GOT HIM! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! CABOOSE Pfft, I knew it would take more than that! Josh, needing to capitalize quickly, pulls Zack up...but Malibu drops him with a jawbreaker...THEN NAILS HIM WITH SCHOOL'S OUT! MATTHEWS IS DOWN! COLE NO! COME ON! Zack, worn out from all the fighting turns around...and doesn't see Rodez tossing a chair from the outside into Alix...AND SHE CROWNS THE FORMER WORLD CHAMPION WITH A CHAIR SHOT! CABOOSE WHAT DID SHE JUST DO! Alix then urges Leon to climb the ropes, telling him to do so while Zack is down and out. Leon obliges, balancing on the top rope and soaking in the crowd cheers... BECAUSE THE LADY LOVES ON ZACK MALIBU~! LEON RODEZ DRAGS JOSH ONTO ZACK MALIBU! COVER! ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING! COLE HE DID IT! IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE! CABOOSE It's highway robbery! "I Like" is cued up, and both Alix and Leon help Matthews, who is thisclose to passed out, to his feet and raise his hands, getting a huge reception from the crowd. COACH Atta boy J. Math! Matthews is in complete shock that he won, a fact only proven to him by Alix and Leon pointing out the fallen body of the raving lunatic behind him. Once Josh realizes what's happened, he throws his own arms up in the air joyously, getting another major pop! COLE Merry Christmas Josh Matthews, because you just pinned a former World Heavyweight Champion! Leon and Alix help Josh out of the ring. Matthews, who would have been happy to survive this match, is now ecstatic thanks to his victory. Back in the ring, Malibu is completely still, and a ravaged Candie crawls over to him, doing her best to revive him, as the scene closes with a shot of Josh, Leon and Alix up on the ramp, arms raised in triumph due to Josh's moral and in-ring victory tonight.[/quote] [quote] [b]OAOAST HeldDOWN 7/8/04[/b] Malibu is almost looking directly into the camera, but as it pans back, we see him looking at a superstar who's recently returned to the OAOAST ranks, Leon Rodez. Rodez is in a conversation with Josh Matthews and road agent Rick Martel, when we see Zack wheeling himself over in the background, as Candie, Hoff, and Cal look on. MALIBU 'Scuse me, boys. The conversation stops, and a feeling of uneasiness comes over both Martel and Matthews, while Rodez isn't quite sure what to make of the interruption. MALIBU Matthews, go watch Boy Meets World or something. Martel, when that ends, watch all the PGA you want. I wanna talk to the kid here. Matthews and Martel reluctantly scatter, leaving Malibu with Leon. MALIBU So kid, how do you like it here? RODEZ Backstage? MALIBU Don't be a smart ass. How do you like being in the OAOAST? RODEZ It's cool, y'know? MALIBU No, no I don't know. I don't know what you think. I don't know anything about you. You know what that means, right? RODEZ That you should watch more tapes? MALIBU Heh, you're a real wiseass kid. I can appreciate that. The thing is, is that if you were someone worthwhile...if you had a shred of actual talent somewhere in that body of yours, I'd have heard about it by now. I'd have had people telling me you were the next big thing. Instead, I see you hang around with Coffee Boy and Never Was. You do realize that you're only as good as the company you keep, right? RODEZ Is that a fact, Zack? MALIBU That's a fact, Mr... RODEZ Rodez. Leon Rodez. MALIBU Rodez? What are you supposed to be, the "New American Dream"? Don't even tell me you think you could get away with wearing polka dots in MY company. Hell, even Northstar doesn't do that crap. RODEZ It's R-O-D-E-Z actually. You know, for a guy who claims to be on top of things in this company, I figured you'd have paid more attention to potential title threats. MALIBU Potential title threats? As in YOU? C'mon Leon, be serious. Rodez's stare shows Zack that he's not kidding at all. MALIBU Mr. Newbie thinks that by stepping up his game in front of the champ and making some grandstand challenge, that he can become a superstar. Let me tell you something, NO ONE...becomes a star at my expense. RODEZ I've seen you talk the talk, Zack, and I've seen you walkin' the walk...just not lately, if you know what I mean. Malibu frowns in disgust at Rodez, who smiles, happy with the comment. MALIBU Yeah, well, I haven't seen you do jack that tells me you're ready to run with the big dogs here. My guess is you'll be jerking the curtain for a long, long time. RODEZ You know, Zack, if I'm such a pushover, then why aren't you pushing? MALIBU You don't want me to push, Leon. When I push...I push hard. So tonight, it's your proving ground. Whatever you had planned...scrap it. The main event slot belongs to you tonight...and I guarantee you're not going to see it again for a long, long time. Candie, get me away from this no name, will ya? [/quote] MONEYMAKER And people call me a miserable hate filled bastard? BWAHAHAHAAA! Yep, just as I thought, as long as Leon is willing to play good obedient lap dog, he's welcome to have the honor and privledge of tagging with the great Zack Malibu. But, of course, when Mister Rodez develops a mind of his own, however poorly functioning and pea sized it may be, and has any desire to make something of himself beyond fellating Zack at every chance, you all know how quickly Malibu will disable The New Age Love Machine. As the old saying goes with friends like that who needs enemies? Leon Rodez, if I were you, I'd be thanking my lucky stars I have D*LUX to fall back on when Zack tells you to hit the Rodez jack. Hilarious pun intended. ABDULLAH Eye opening. Eye opening, brothers. I thank you, the prophets thank you, and the newly enlightended minds of the world thank you. What kind of men are these? Men without a hair on their body that's to be trusted to even do so much as blow in the wind! We saw truth, and it hurt, but we will heal and we will all be better for it! Please go on. MONEYMAKER We know the Usual Suspects are going to be fighting with a chip on their shoulder. In their minds it wasn’t Bohemoth who did the screwing, it was he who got screwed. But they won’t be the only ones fighting inspired, so will we in honor of one brave woman. She’s an inspiration to us and women the world over... MACKENZIE DECENZO! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Looking more like the old Jade Rodez in bagging clothing, a makeup less Mackenzie DeCenzo is whisked to the staging area by V.I.C.E. COACH (clapping) Teddy was right. Mackie is an inspiration to us all. To be on television after such a violent crime is a testament to her determination to move on with her life. What a way to stick it to her rapist. COLE Wait a minute now. Bo is innocent until proven guilty. COACH Didn’t you hear what the Boz said? They’ve got his DNA. Abdullah blesses Mackie who begins to tear up. ABDULLAH (comforting) There, there, my child. Let it out. MACKENZIE Spiritual One, I want to thank you for guiding me through this horrific time in my life. What happened to me I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. But I must come to terms with the fact I was... I was raped. Abdullah and the guys comfort Mackie some more. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh, this is Academy Award winning stuff right here. COACH It’s attitudes like yours that cause thousands of women never to report their attack. You, sir, ought to be ashamed of yourself. MACKENZIE If only I could turn back time and retract my comments about...that man, sparing me the worst night in my life. ABDULLAH It’s not your fault. It’s so not your fault. MACKENZIE But..but...I must have did something... MONEYMAKER You did nothing more but be a strong, proud woman, unafraid to stand up for her rights to personal freedoms. You are...amazing. I am in awe of you. WRIGHT Bravo. Bravo to you, Mackenzie DeCenzo. MONEYMAKER If only our constitutional rights to carry conceled weapons were upheld in every state! Then the tragedy would have been avoided, the sexual monster would be dead, and they would serve taco salad at his funeral. And it would be tasty. WRIGHT But, nay, dear sir, the culinarian personnel in his future bastille shall not serve him that sapid a dish as taco salad! However, I may be so bold as to predict he will be tossing plenty of salads in his future. MONEYMAKER BWHAHAHAAHAH! CPA When I say pick up the soap, you pick up the damn soap! BOSLEY He's gonna find out what The Erotic Awakening Of Bohemoth really is. Its getting woken up in the middle of the night by fifteen members of the Aryan Nation running a train on him! ABDULLAH An eye for an eye! That is true justice! MACKENZIE I just can’t shake what happened to me. One minute I was playing pinball, the next I had Bo come up and ask whether I wanted to play with his balls, but he... *sobs* ... just wouldn’t take no for an answer. I just wanted him to stop...stop hurting me...my parents watch this show...and....why did he do this to me? Why god why? Unable to control her painful emotion and freely flowing river of tears, Mackenzie falls onto the shoulder of the Spirtual One. He strokes her bright blond hair as his own sorrowful tears well in the corner of his eyes. WRIGHT :angry: MONEYMAKER :firedevil: ABDULLAH GOD DAMN YOU SEXUAL MONSTER!!! [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/DAMON.jpg] [b]COMMERCIAL[/B]

Hey, alf is this what you wanted to be the opening segment or was it something else?

Yup yup yup. I think this show is from Houston, bit of a step up from Mobile. But knowing us, its probably really in Paris. Texas. Or worse yet Mexico. Missouri.

That's tuesday the 2nd of September in case any of you hip cats thought the thing was this week!

Well, maybe not as loaded as previous weeks overall. But still those who wrote something, wrote very well I'll tell ya that.

What on earth happened to poor Mackie?! Find out this Thursday/Friday on HeldDOWN~! Hopefully Thursday 'cause I got shit that needs to be doin on friday!

Yeah, mang, I think if you over exert your voice enough times you can wear on the chords and shit and get throat cancer. The threat is real! That's why I don't get dudes harping on Lakers fans for being to chill at games, the rest of ya'll can get throat cancer if you want, I ain't talking out of no voice box like that dude from south park. The video in Rodez to hell or that 1:58 part is just Elias' super dramatic really famous death scene from Platoon....oh snap, sorry if I spoiled Platoon for anyone but its over 20 yrs old, and it won academy awards you should've seen it by now. shit. And Darth Vader is Luke's father btw. yes, yes, merci beaucoup for the compliments on the Rodez to hell! Hey-ya, if you got it finished, just send it to me in the next 20 mins and I'll edit it in to da shizzow. Nice little promo for Jock. I'm surprised tony did anything at all, he led me to believe he was taking the week off! Ah Blonde is out the battle royal and the one LI guy I don't have a decent pic for is in. That's some bullshit, mang! Anyway, it'll be interesting to see if Black ever gets his shot at beating Zack cleanly one on one, and if Blonde being taking out causes any friction in the group. I'm gonna say no, because Blonde is a pretty loyal yes man to Landon. Quality segment from Alf, and hey the Burroghs Boys get some HD time. I like the more bitter, evil turn Reject has taken, good character development there. That was a really well done character shift that made perfect sense. Will he cross paths with Leon once again in his quest to get at Maggie? I betcha he will! hehehee excellent promo with Malaysia. Straight up, I fapped also and I ain't talkin no wack ass ball and paddle. I was thinking of having Malaysia talk last week, but this was much better than what I would've done, and that says a lot because I've been to a dominatrix several times! Very nice MITB semi final, and actually a pretty big match that's never happened before between a 3 time world champ and a guy with as many accolades as Maddix. I would've put this towards the end, like the ME, but I fucked up 'cause I thought that black/maddix segment was supposed to go after it. Liked the ending with the loaded knee pad, and Landon only checking on Megan to get the shit out her purse. OMG that's SO Landon! the PATD/Los Diablos segment made me seriously LOL. Especially that ending when Biff just ran off and Vinny was like wtf help me you dick. Vinny and Biff make a really well matched team, and Los Diablos are like their perfect foils. Cool little match with rico and O'Hara, it figures the first time rico gets some chick to expose her boobs it'd be the ugliest piggy on the farm. Could we see a six man next week? CAE, O'Hara vs MGHWC and someone else? Maybe spanish fly? Yo as an aside, I have to give props to alf for finishing the riverwalk battle royal over a week before AS is going to posted. That's a record I think!

A video begins, in a locker room which is totally blacked out, with the exception of a dim light aimed on a muscular figure sitting on a bench with his back to the camera, which slowly moves in on him as the narrator speaks, cutting away only as mentioned below. Come on God, Answer Me. Footage of the man lifting weights, his face still not visible. For Years, I've Been Asking You Why? Footage of the man's hands, as he stares at them off camera. Why are the Innocent Dead and the Guilty Alive? Footage of the man clenching his fists. Where is Justice? Where is Punishment? . . . . . . . . . . . Footage of Brock Ausstin pulverizing Felix Strutter with a clothesline. Or Have You Already Answered? Footage of Brock executing a belly-to-belly on Bohemoth. Have You Already Said to the World, Here is Justice. Here is Punishment. F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111 to Alfdogg. Here.... Footage of Brock giving a roar in the ring, then back to the locker room, where the muscular man (Brock, obv.) turns his head and looks back into the camera. ...In Me." BROCK AUSSTIN RETURNS AngleSlam August 31st San Antonio, Texas Live on PPV *cut back to Sofa Central* COLE Brock Ausstin is back next Sunday at Angleslam and San Antonio will never be the same again! Some very big names, literally, in that Riverwalk battle royal. I don't even know how the ring is going to support Boricua, Deuce, Jumbo, Brock, Lamont, Cuban Wall, Faqu. That's over a ton right there! It should be...wait a second folks, I'm getting word we have a developing situation backstage! COACH What's going? I got a monolouge coming up about the different ways white people, black people and Mexican people put relish on their hot dog! What is this? We cut backstage to a darkened section of the hallway, almost entirely empty of human life. The lone soul present is Mackenzie DeCenzo. Yet she isn't the confident, cool, and stylish woman we typically know her as. Now her evening gown is in tattered rags, torn and ripped as if someone demonic animal burrowed its claws into her. Tears flow heavy and freely down her reddened eyes, one of which has been blackened by violence. She staggers down the hallway with her hands on the wall, weeping, wailing and shouting, pleading for help. As no one comes to her aid, she finally sinks downward, burying her crying face into the cold tile floor. COACH What...what...what happened to Mackenzie?! FADE TO BLACK

THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD Ultimate Victory plays to the our usual entrance video which now features highlights of AS' past to prompt you to order that ppv!! wow that sentence made zero sense, which is what you get for typing with one hand Into the teeny tiny arena we go, where six thousand drunk rednecks have converged to make life miserable for the OAOAST superstars far more used to performing in front of crowds that aren't all somehow related. COLE Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Mobile, Alabama the sight of tonight's HeldDOWN~! COACH For barely being able to speak proper english and not having any teeth, these people's vulgar chants are pretty coherent. Good job, Alabama! COLE Yeah, I'm a little shocked at how clear their homophobic slurs directed to me come off. The announciation of their ignorance is really something else! Fans, in just a few short minutes we’re going to be hearing from Mr. Dick for the first time since he was... COACH Publicly lynched. But like Clint Eastwood, he survived. Heaven didn’t need to be reamed yet. COLE How do you follow something like that up? COACH By going straight to the video! And so we do, to Mr. Dick enjoying a beautiful summer afternoon out in the backyard sunbathing, the sprinklers going off around him. MR. DICK Baron Windels, real big tough guy you are violently attacking me -- following a grueling match no less. You gotta be feeling mighty proud about yourself. If not for my giant dick supplying blood to my brain I would’ve been a goner for sure. But if you think for one second you’re little stunt did anything to rattle my psyche, you’re dead wrong. So you got to extract a measure of revenge. Big deal. You’ve won nothing but a tiny skirmish in a large war. Though I can’t help but wonder where this Baron Windels was back when the Lone Star Gunslingers rode together. Had that S.O.B. been around we’d still be tag team champions today. That’s all in the past though, just like you'll be once I get through with you. Like I said last time Baron, Angleslam will be your last stand. Who knows? Maybe we’ll meet again sooner than you think. Fade out. COMMERCIAL ANGLESLAM 2008 TEXAS BULLROPE MATCH San Antonio's two sons: BARON WINDELS Vs MISTER DICK AUGUST 31st

"Easy lover She'll get a hold on you believe it Like no other Before you know it you'll be on your knees" The samba-ish sounds of Duran Duran's "Rio" waft through the arena and the entrance doors part for one of the grooviest self-proclaimed cats in all of the OAOAST! Rico de Janeiro swaggers out, stroking his 70s porn stache down as Lucius Soul follows him combing away at his afro. Giving a few creepy looks to the females in the crowd Rico strokes at his equally hairy chest to continue what has been a deeply disturbing HD so far. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, representing The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. He is accompanied by his tag team partner, "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL! Hailing from Rio de Janeiro... weighing in at two hundred, twenty five pounds... he is the undisputed "King Of The Mardi Gras"... RRRRIIIIIICCOOOOOO DDEEEEEEEE JJJJAAAAAAAANNNNEEEEIIIIIIRRRRRRROOOOOOO!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Rico attempts to give away his mardi gras beads draw no offers, except for one... uhm, 'heavy set' Alabama lady who lifts her TripleXL top up for him. COACH SSUUUUU-WEEEEE! SSUUUUU-WEEEEE! COLE Coach, please! Entering the ring, Lucius tries to pysche up his tag team partner who seems to be having trouble getting that mental image out of his head. Under Lucius' encouragement though he gets his focus back. Just in time... "OOOOOOOOIIIIIIII!" The pumping beats of "Fix Up, Look Sharp" by Dizzee Rascal pound through the arena and through the entrance doors swaggers Jamie O'Hara. The Birmingham Bad Boy jaws away at no-one or no-thing in particular as the marches down the aisle, slapping out at a few hands while he gabs away to the camera. BUFFER And the opponent! Hailing from Birmingham, England... he weighs in at one hundred and seventy pounds. This is "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY"... JJJAAAAAAAMMMMMIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE... OOOOOO'HHHHHHAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE All three of these men will be involved in the big Riverwalk Invitational Battle Royal, in 10 days at AngleSlam. A chance here tonight to garner some momentum going into San Antone. COACH Well here's a guy that doesn't really need it. O'Hara won that battle royal last month at The Great Angle Bash, so he's on a roll as far as that goes. And this time, there won't be a match straight afterwards for him to choke in! O'Hara swaggers down the apron encouraging on the chanting crowd, vaulting over the top rope with the greatest of ease. Not impressed, Lucius dusts off Rico's shoulder for him and with a few more words of encouragement he drops to the floor. *DINGDINGDING!* As O'Hara pulls his attentions away from the crowd, Rico walks out of his corner removing his mardi gras beads. But instead of getting them out for safe keeping, he throws them towards O'Hara, taking his eye off the ball momentarily allowing him to get the jump on the Brit! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH There's a smart move! COLE That's about the only use Rico's going to get out of those beads tonight. Or any night I'd imagine. Rico clubs O'Hara down with forearms and stomps away against the ropes until referee Charles Robinson pulls him away. While in Rico's face though, the ref is blind to Lucius Soul reaching into the ring to choke O'Hara from the outside! The Alabama fans scream out but by the time the ref turns around, Lucius is casually combing at his 'fro, "just chillin'". And O'Hara is just coughin', as Rico drops a knee to the ribs. COLE Rico and Lucius will be hoping to use this kind of teamwork in that Riverwalk Invitational, but they won't be the only tag team involved. And it won't be two on one. Dragging O'Hara from the ropes, Rico drops a couple of elbows, stopping on the third to stroke the 'stache... and missing as a result! O'Hara fights back now with forearms shots to the face. Hitting the ropes, O'Hara then takes off with a flying forearm to knock Rico down. Quickly back up, Rico is bounced right back down by a second flying forearm shot. And a third time he goes down! Reeling, Rico then walks into a hurricanrana, O'Hara reaching back and securing a leg... 1... 2... No! O'Hara hits the ropes again... but this time Lucius grabs his ankle! The distraction allows Rico to attack from behind, clubbing O'Hara then folding him up with a high back suplex. COLE We're gonna see a lot of suplexes out of Brock Ausstin I'm sure, making his return to the OAOAST, who's going to stop him in the battle royal? Pulling O'Hara off the mat by his baggy vest top, Rico clubs him across the shoulder blades a couple of times, then sends him off the ropes. Back elbow puts O'Hara down, setting him up for Rico to come off the ropes with the Porno 'Stache Legdrop, holding for a pin... 1... 2... No! Rico stops O'Hara from getting to his feet by standing on the back of his neck, stroking the 'stache again. He then looks for another legdrop, this time feeling tailbone against canvas as O'Hara slides out of the way. A kick to the chest then sets Rico down, for a STANDING CORKSCREW MOONSAULT!! "YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" 1... 2... Kickout! Stepping outside, O'Hara heads up top. Referee Robinson is in line of view to prevent Lucius coming to his partner's rescue, watching helplessly as Jamie reaches the top and takes flight with a Missile Dropkick! Cover... 1... 2... No! COLE Jamie O'Hara, so quick, so elusive, which is going to play to his advantage at AngleSlam. COACH Not if he tries stuff like that it won't. COLE Well, there won't be much room to fly, that's for sure. Cuban Wall, Faqu, Jumbo, Deuce, plenty of big hitters looking to be the last man standing in San Antonio. O'Hara tries to load Rico up into a corner, but Rico pulls him into a boot to counter. After another clubbing shot Rico then sends him to the ropes with an irish whip. Confidently the Brazilian loads up a lariat, but telegraphs it, allowing Jamie to latch onto his arm and float right the way back around onto his feet! Caught in shock, Rico swings and misses with another lariat attempt, before getting caught with a spinning back heel kick to the mush the momentum of which sends him spilling out to the arena floor. Lucius runs over to check Rico's okay, which draws him right into the firing line. After drawing the crowd's support, O'Hara latches onto the top rope and springboards, Lucius and Rico looking up in despair as O'Hara comes tumbling down atop them with a 450 PLANCHA!!! "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" COLE Well, he won't be doing THAT in the battle royal! But most effective here tonight! COACH They ain't seen nothing like that in Alabama since... hell, they ain't got nothin' in Alabama! Hobbling slightly, Jamie shakes it off as he rolls Rico back inside. He hangs back on the apron waiting for The King Of The Mardi Gras to recover, before springboarding again... and crashing and burning, as Rico knocks the rope away from the soles of his sneakers, catching him on the way down in a POWERSLAM! COLE WOW! COACH You live by those high-risk moves though, sooner or later you're gonna die by them too. Rico cradles Jamie up... 1... 2... NO! Signalling for the end, Rico drags O'Hara into a standing headscissors. RICO WHO WANTS A MOUSTACHE RIDE!? "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH And sure enough, they boo. No big loss, most of the women in here could give moustache rides from the looks of things. Gutwrenching O'Hara, the Brit is muscled up over the shoulder by Rico... who loses him midway, allowing O'Hara to pull him down in a sunset flip... 1... 2... NO! Looking for a quick tide-turner, Rico ends up eating a back elbow instead. With Rico dazed J-OH makes for the ropes, running up the turnbuckles... and getting CROTCHED! COACH See there we go again, too many dumb risks! COLE And Rico has O'Hara in a bad spot here and it looks like he's going up as well. Unfamiliar territory for the Brazilian! Leaving his ground game Rico climbs to the second rope behind O'Hara, clubbing him a couple of times before looking to set him up. But Jamie fights back with elbows again. A succession of them, eventually sending Rico tumbling backwards off the top with a thud! Rico lands hard and seeing his chance, O'Hara quickly turns himself around on the top... and gets a DIME STORE HIGH from the top!!! COLE SHOOTING STAR LEGDROP!! Leg hooked... 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Your winner of the contest... JJJAAAAMMMMIIIEEEEE OOOO'HHHHAAAARRRRRAAAAAAA!!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" No time for celebrations for The Birmingham Bad Boy though, as Lucius Soul jumps into the ring and dives into an attack! COLE Hey, come on now! As soon as the match ends, Soul is in with a sneak attack! Lucius stomps away on O'Hara despite the best efforts of referee Charles Robinson. And pretty soon Rico is up and lending his boots to the beatdown as well. The crowd jeer wildly for the show of poor sportsmanship, but are soon on their feet for the arrival of THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESS! MARV and MEL go skidding into the ring and take the right to The MGHWC, firing off right hands on Rico and Lucius respectively! Stereo irish whips are reversed, but stereo baseball slides guide them clear of danger on the rebound and stereo Dropsaults drop them! Rico and Lucius quickly bail to the floor and live to fight another day as the brothers Nerdly check O'Hara is okay. COLE MARV and MEL looking out for Jamie O'Hara here tonight. But it'll be every man for himself at AngleSlam, when they too compete in the Riverwalk Invitational Battle Royal. COACH Let me guess, he's their smoking buddy or something? COLE I believe the technical term is 'brah'. As The CAE help O'Hara to his feet and help him salute the cheers of the crowd, Lucius and Rico march off disgruntled. COMMERCIAL