Patty O'Green

We return to HeldDOWN~! with Da Coach already in the ring as “Hard Hittin‘” by Homebwoi plays over the P.A. system. He is pacing nervously in the ring as he awaits his match. COLE Back on HeldDOWN~!, and fans, you are not seeing things. Da Coach is in the ring, ready to compete against the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! I am not kidding! The match is actually going to happen! Coach, wearing the HeldDOWN~! black Polo shirt, khaki pants with a leather belt, black dress shoes, his wedding ring on his right ring finger and a watch on his right wrist, bites his fingernails. COLE He brought this on himself. He has no one to blame for this but his big mouth! “Hard Hittin’” by Homebwoi dies down. The crowd buzzes in anticipation for PRL’s entrance. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP…” *DUN DUN* “…IS…” *DUN* “…HERE!” “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and “Know Your Role 2000” starts playing over the P.A. system with the crowd standing up and cheering loudly. The lights go down inside of the arena. PR is heard saying, “THE CHAMP IS HERE!” in tune with the beat of the song, while smoke fills the entrance stage and spotlights circle around and around the arena. A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and then Tha Puerto Rican quickly saunters out through the smoke and power walks down the entrance ramp, not stopping at all, and keeping his eyes focused on the ring and Da Coach. PRL has the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt strapped around his waist, but he quickly unstraps it and slings the belt over his left shoulder. BUFFER And his opponent. Coming to this ring at this time. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 220 lbs. He is the reigning One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the Wooooorrrrrllllllllllddddddddddddddddddddd…THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! The crowd cheers louder than before. Coach looks on horrified as PRL continues his walk to the ring. COLE Tha Puerto Rican made the challenge. Coach accepted. And I think he may regret his decision in about, oh, 1 minute. Tha Puerto Rican stops at ringside to slap hands with the fans before power walking around the ringside area. PRL goes over to Sofa Central and tells Michael Cole that he will hurt Jonathan Coachman really bad tonight. THA PUERTO RICAN I will lay the smackdown on Coach’s candy ass tonight! And you can bank on that! He is going down at the hands of Tha Puerto Rican! I will PULVERIZE him tonight! And that’s the truth, Ruth! COLE I hear ya, Champ! I hear ya! Go do your thing! Tha Puerto Rican climbs up the ring steps and gets onto the ring apron. He gives the fans The People’s Eyebrow. Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring. He spins around; soaking in the fans’ cheers while “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing over the P.A. system. PRL puts the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in front of him on the mat. Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. The crowd is still cheering loudly. PRL grabs the OAOAST Championship belt and heads to a second turnbuckle where he raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head to a pop. PRL then gets off of the second turnbuckle and walks over to the opposite turnbuckle corner, glancing over at Coach as he walks. Coach looks on as Tha Puerto Rican climbs the other second turnbuckle and raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head to a LOUD pop from the fans. COLE Tha Puerto Rican, STILL the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, fresh off defeating Vitamin X last Thursday night on the Big Apple Spectacular ending his career which is the basis for this non-title match tonight! PRL smiles on the second turnbuckle, and then gets off of it. He then heads to a third second turnbuckle where he proceeds to raise the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt into the air with his right hand while he “smells the electricity” as a single spotlight shines down on him ala The Rock. PRL turns his head back to look at Coach, who is beyond terrified as this point. P.R. smirks. He then gets off of the second turnbuckle and then heads to the only second turnbuckle he hasn’t been on yet where he does same Rock pose again to a LOUD pop from the crowd. COLE I REALLY wouldn’t want to be Coach right now…more so than usual! The OAOAST Title belt by his side, P.R. turns his attention to Coach while on the second turnbuckle. Puerto then hops off of the second turnbuckle. He stares at Coach. The lights go back on inside of the arena. COLE First time ever, and probably the ONLY time we will ever see this match-up! Tha Puerto Rican vs. Da Coach coming up in just a few moments here on HeldDOWN~! Tha Puerto Rican removes his sunglasses and hands them over to a ringside attendant. He then removes the earring from his left ear and hands that over to the same ringside attendant. PRL then kisses the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and hands it over to referee Earl Hebner, who nods his head, and then hands the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt to the timekeeper, who walks with it and places it on top of the timekeeper’s table. Coach is shaking in another turnbuckle corner. COLE Well…he got himself into this mess. Let’s see if he can get himself out of it! Tha Puerto Rican jumps up and down in place in a turnbuckle corner. Earl Hebner pats down PRL. He goes over the rules with him. Earl Hebner then goes over and pats down the nervous Coach. The referee goes over the rules with Coach, who just nods, obviously not paying attention to what the referee is saying, and just staring at PRL. Earl Hebner tells both men the rules one more time, and then calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* NON-TITLE MATCH THA PUERTO RICAN vs. JONATHAN “DA COACH” COACHMAN “Know Your Role 2000” dies down. The crowd cheers loudly. Tha Puerto Rican stares at Coach. Coach does a big cartoonish gulp. COLE The bell has sound. The match is underway! The crowd already starts chanting, “P.R.!” PRL circles Coach, a serious expression on his face. COLE Coach seems hesitant to start this thing. PRL has his hands in the air, ready to lock up. But the moment he starts walking towards Coach, Coach puts his head out of the ring! Coach calls for a timeout. The crowd boos loudly. COLE Timeouts? Coach, come on! There’s no timeouts in wrestling! Coach begs PRL to stay away from him. PRL puts his hands on his hips and rolls his eyes. Coach continues stalling for time. “FUCK HIM UP, P.R.! FUCK HIM UP!” *CLAP! CLAP!* “FUCK HIM UP, P.R.! FUCK HIM UP!” *CLAP! CLAP!* “FUCK HIM UP, P.R.! FUCK HIM UP!” *CLAP! CLAP!* “FUCK HIM UP, P.R.! FUCK HIM UP!” *CLAP! CLAP!* COLE These fans are just ITCHING for this match to truly get started! If Coach will ever get back into the ring! Coach continues begging for mercy. He starts to leave the ring…but is pulled by in by Tha Puerto Rican! The crowd cheers! COLE Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Here we go! Coach screams! PRL smiles as he pulls Coach back into the ring and sets him up against the turnbuckle. After measuring Coach up, Tha Puerto Rican hits Coach with a Rock-style punch to the temple! And another! And then another! And then another! COLE PRL with the first blows of the match! PRL continues hitting Coach with Rock punches. Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! Coach goes flying, and then falls onto the mat! And the crowd goes wild! Tha Puerto Rican smiles, and then picks Coach up. COLE Coach, at the mercy of Tha Puerto Rican as this match gets underway! PRL taunts Coach, and points a menacing finger at him. P.R. then grabs Coach by his head and then runs with him towards a turnbuckle corner where he proceeds to slam Coach’s face into the top turnbuckle pad! P.R. then drags Coach by his head over to the opposite turnbuckle corner where he proceeds to slam Coach’s face into the top turnbuckle pad again! Puerto Rican then drags Coach over to another turnbuckle corner where he once again slams Coach’s face into the top turnbuckle pad! PRL then drags Coach over to the fourth turnbuckle corner where he proceeds to slam Coach’s face into the top turnbuckle pad for the fourth time! COLE Coach taken to all four corners on that exchange! Coach is already groggy. That doesn’t stop Tha Puerto Rican from grabbing Coachman by his right hand and then whipping him into the opposite ropes. Coach bounces off of the ropes, PRL leapfrogs over him, Coach bounces off of the opposite ropes, PRL does a reverse leapfrog over Coach, Coach bounces off of the ropes again, right into an arm-drag from Tha Puerto Rican! Coach gets up, dazed, and he gets hit with a dropkick from PRL! The crowd cheers! Jonathan Coachman rolls out of the ring underneath the bottom ring rope. COLE PRL in complete control of Jonathan Coachman! Da Coach lands on his hands and knees on the protective mats. He is sucking wind. Tha Puerto Rican exits the ring and walks around ringside with his hands on his hips and a smile on his face. He spots Coach on his hands and knees, so he helps Da Coach up to his feet…and then lifts him up, dropping him chin-first on top of the barricade! Coach holds his chin in pain. Tha Puerto Rican looks at the crowd and chuckles at Coach’s pain. COLE Oh Coach…you brought this on yourself. PRL picks Coach up, and then throws him back into the ring underneath the bottom ring rope. PRL follows suit, entering the ring underneath the top ring rope. Once inside, Tha Puerto Rican attacks Coach with shaky leg kicks to the back! COLE Coach has had exactly ZERO offense in this match! ZERO! Zilp. Zitch. Zero. Nada. As the crowd cheers, PRL picks Coachman up. He taunts Jonathan Coachman some more, and then whips him into a turnbuckle corner. Coach hits the turnbuckle back-first HARD! P.R. then rushes forward, jumping up and squashing Da Coach with the Stinger Splash! The crowd cheers. Coach’s eyes are glazed over. PRL whips Coach into the opposite turnbuckle corner. Coach once again hits the turnbuckle back-first HARD! And PRL once again rushes forward, jumping up and squashing Coach with another Stinger Splash! COLE Two Stinger Splashes on Da Coach as this match just keeps getting even more worse for him! PRL grabs Da Coach by his left hand and then gives him an Irish whip into the opposite ropes. Coach bounces off of the ropes, PRL picks him up and gives him a Samoan Drop! Afterwards, PRL applauds himself, and the crowd applauds him too! COLE Vintage PRL! Tha Puerto Rican stands up. He then does a fist drop onto Jonathan Coachman’s head! He then stands up and does another fist drop onto Coach’s head. He then stands up and does a third, followed by a fourth, and a fifth. PRL then runs towards the ropes, bounces off of the ropes, runs forward, stops in his tracks, shakes his shoulders, dusts his right shoulder off, and then drops a fist onto Jonathan Coachman’s head! The Five Knuckle Shuffle! COLE Five Knuckle Shuffle on Jonathan Coachman! PR stops to pose for the fans, who cheer loudly. He then asks if the fans want him to beat Coach up more. “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” THA PUERTO RICAN Welp, majority rules! Tha Puerto Rican picks Coachman up. PRL gives Coach a vertical suplex. He then rolls through and gives Da Coach another vertical suplex. Puerto then rolls through again, and lifts Coach up into the air for a third vertical suplex. He holds Coach in the air for a few seconds, letting the blood rush to his head. The crowd applauds PRL. To show off, PRL holds Coach in the air with one arm. COLE PRL treating Coach like his personal plaything in this match! Tha Puerto Rican does the “You can’t see me!” hand gesture. P.R. then walks towards the ropes. Once there, P.R. drops Coach’s abdomen onto the top ring rope. Coach bounces off of the top ring rope and PRL completes the slingshot suplex, to complete The People’s Trifecta. Afterwards, P.R. sits up and applauds himself. The crowd applauds him too! COLE The People’s Trifecta on Da Coach! I can’t believe I actually said that! PRL covers Coach…but then changes his mind. COLE More punishment for Da Coach ahead! PRL picks Coach up. Coach is already out of it. Tha Puerto Rican cradles Coach up…and then DRILLS him into the mat with a DDT! COLE Tha Puerto Rican hits Coach with the Esto Daño De La Cogida De La Voluntad! The crowd cheers PRL some more. PRL gets on top of Coach and hammers away at him. PRL then picks Coach up. LATIN SLAM! COLE Latin Slam! Latin Slam on Da Coach! This has turned into a slaughter by Tha Puerto Rican! Clearly not finished yet, Tha Puerto Rican picks Coach up AGAIN. P.R.L. scoops Coach up, holding him up in the air for a few seconds. He then slams Coach down HARD onto the mat! Coach lets out a blood curling scream! Coach holds his back in pain on the mat. COLE Coach is actually the bigger man at 6'3" 235 lbs., but Tha Puerto Rican is treating him like the smaller man in this match-up! PRL looks at the crowd and nods his head. The crowd starts buzzing in anticipation of PR’s next move. COLE It looks like PRL is going to go up! Indeed, Tha Puerto Rican exits the ring and climbs the top rope. The crowd cheers. PRL stands hunched over on the top turnbuckle. COLE And it’s about to get worse for Coach. Tha Puerto Rican removes his left elbow pad and then throws it into the crowd. He then slowly stands up straight on the top rope. PRL points down at Coach, and then takes a deep breath…before soaring off of the top rope, doing the “Up yours!” hand gesture in mid-air…and then connecting with his left elbow hitting Coach’s body! The crowd pops! COLE The People’s Elbow Drop! The People’s Elbow Drop on Coach! And by God, Coach just can’t catch a break in this match! Tha Puerto Rican screams! He then gets back to his feet. After taunting Coach some more, he picks up the much despised OAOAST announcer and then taunts him again. PRL then grabs Coach by his left hand and then whips him into the ropes. SPINEBUSTER~!!!!!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Oh boy! The crowd comes alive! PRL stands up and jogs around the ring. He gets the crowd fired up big time! PRL then stands over Da Coach…and kicks his right arm onto his chest. The crowd cheers louder. COLE Here we go! Tha Puerto Rican removes his right elbow pad, and then throws it into the crowd. PRL then does some weird hand signals. PRL then bounces off of the ropes, leaps over Da Coach, and then bounces off of the opposite ropes. COLE It’s now time for the most electrifying move in professional wrestling: The Puerto Rico Elbow! Tha Puerto Rican rushes forward, stops in his tracks, makes a “You talk too much!” hand gesture, and then drops his right elbow right into Coach’s body! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE The Puerto Rico Elbow on Jonathan Coachman! Da Coach is out cold! Tha Puerto Rican gets on his hands and knees and taunts Coach. He then gives him a middle finger. PRL sneers at Coach as he stands up. PRL does the McMahon SNEER~!. THA PUERTO RICAN YOU WANT MORE!? CROWD YES! THA PUERTO RICAN OKAY! COLE And apparently, PRL is STILL not done yet! Coach’s eyes are shut. Tha Puerto Rican picks Coach up. He then taunts him as he backs Coach into the ropes. P.R. whips Coach into the ropes. Coach REVERSES-- COLE Whoa! --PRL bounces off of the ropes. Coach goes for a clothesline, Tha Puerto Rican ducks, bounces off of the ropes, charges forward, and hits Coach with a flying forearm! Tha Puerto Rican KIPS UP~! “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE I sense more trouble for Coach coming up! PRL plays to the crowd some more. He then heads to a turnbuckle corner and starts stomping his right foot ala Shawn Michaels. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is ‘tuning up the band‘! Coach better look out! PRL continues stomping his foot. Coach starts to sit up. PRL motions for him to get back to his feet. Coach sits on the mat. COLE Oh Coach…Coach… The crowd is growing anxious. Coach turns to his side. He then gets to his right knee. Coach is breathing hard. COLE Oh boy. Coach is in trouble here. Coach pushes himself off of the mat. He is bent over. Coach slowly stands up. He shakes the cobwebs out, and then turns around-- --KA-POW~!!! --right into the SWEET CHIN MUSIC~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE The Sweet Chin Music! The Sweet Chin Music on Jonathan Coachman! Coach lies on the mat spread-eagle. Tha Puerto Rican looks down at Coach and smirks. Tha Puerto Rican says something to Coach. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has absolutely DOMINATED Coach in this match-up! PRL continues talking trash to the knocked out Coach. Tha Puerto Rican looks at the crowd. “THAT’S IT!” The crowd cheers loudly! COLE And that’s the signal for the end! Tha Puerto Rican is looking to finish this match! I guess he’s grown bored rather quickly of beating up Coach. Tha Puerto Rican quickly gets into his predator stance. He stalks Coach, who has yet to actually move. COLE Tha Puerto Rican might be going for the P.R. Nightmare right here! PR motions for Coach to move his “candy ass”! Coach flails his arms around. THA PUERTO RICAN GET UP, YOU DUMBASS! Coach slowly sits up on the mat. He then falls back down onto the mat. PRL rolls his eyes. THA PUERTO RICAN GET…UP! Coach sits up. The crowd is getting more and more anxious by the second. Coach is on his hands and knees. Coach gets onto his left knee. COLE Oh boy. Coach…you brought this on yourself, ya yutz! Coach takes a deep breath, and then pushes himself off of the mat. PRL is nodding his head, greatly anticipating the finish. Coach is bent over. COLE Oh boy. Coach stands up straight, holding his jaw. Jonathan Coachman is a little woozy, standing on spaghetti legs. He stumbles, but maintains his balance. Coach is stunned, completely unaware of what’s behind him. That is until he turns around… COLE Look out, Coach! KICK WHAM P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE P.R. Nightmare! P.R. Nightmare on Jonathan Coachman! Da Coach is out! Coach has been given the P.R. Nightmare! Tha Puerto Rican quickly runs over and covers Jonathan Coachman, hooking his right leg. Earl Hebner makes the count. Tha Puerto Rican counts too, along with the crowd. 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (3:39) “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE And Tha Puerto Rican beats Da Coach without breaking a sweat! “Know Your Role 2000” starts playing again. Tha Puerto Rican sits on his knees and does the “You can’t see me!” hand gesture! PRL raises his hands in victory while on his knees. BUFFER Here is your winner…THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Earl Hebner raises Tha Puerto Rican’s hands in victory. PRL then stands up and looks down at the fallen Coach. He laughs. A lot. COLE Well, it finally happened. Coach stepped into an OAOAST ring…and proceeded to get annihilated! Truly, Tha Puerto Rican laid the smackdown on Coach here tonight in Richmond! Tha Puerto Rican mouths off to Coach some more. COLE And Tha Puerto Rican’s STILL isn’t done running his mouth yet! Coach continues lying in pain on the mat. Earl Hebner hands PRL the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt. Tha Puerto Rican raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt into the air with his right hand. Earl Hebner raises PRL’s hands in victory again. The crowd cheers loudly. “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing over the P.A. system. COLE Tha Puerto Rican with another victory! He has been on a roll ever since School’s Out, not losing once in the past 3 months! Tha Puerto Rican smiles as he raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt into the air with his right hand. *BAM!* Suddenly, Tha Puerto Rican is attacked from behind by ROCK HARD BRICKSTON!!! COLE Hey! What--what--what the hell!? “Know Your Role 2000” dies down. Rock Hard Brickston stomps on Tha Puerto Rican! The crowd is in shock! PRL, who has dropped the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt onto the mat, is at the mercy of his former proteage, who lays into PRL with his right foot! COLE Rock Hard Brickston is beating on the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! Jonathan Coachman is slowly rolling out of the ring underneath the bottom ring rope. Meanwhile, Earl Hebner calls for the bell, but Rock Hard Brickston isn’t paying attention. Brickston gets on top of Tha Puerto Rican and hammers him in the face! COLE Rock Hard Brickston--we haven’t seen him since AngleMania VII! But he’s made his return, and he has picked up right where he left off! Rock Hard Brickston stops beating on PRL. But that’s only so that he can turn his attention to Earl Hebner. Rock Hard Brickston smiles evilly as the referee scolds him. Rock Hard Brickston grabs the Senior Referee of the OAOAST and then throws him over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE Oh my! Rock Hard Brickston just took out the referee! It’s just Tha Puerto Rican and Rock Hard Brickston left in the ring! Rock Hard Brickston goes back to pounding Tha Puerto Rican‘s face in! “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” Rock Hard Brickston stomps on Tha Puerto Rican some more! Rock Hard Brickston picks PRL up. Rock Hard Brickston sends the groggy Puerto Rican into the ropes. PRL bounces off of the ropes, and gets scooped up onto Rock Hard Brickston’s shoulders! COLE Oh no! It could be--it might just be… Rock Hard Brickston parades around the ring with Tha Puerto Rican on his shoulders. The 6’6” 215 pound big man has a scowl on his face as he throws PRL off of his shoulders, causing the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion to crash onto the mat! Rock Hard Brickston stands up and lets out a mighty roar as Tha Puerto Rican lies on the mat, withering thanks to the Death Valley Driver. COLE Rock Hard Brickston just gave Tha Puerto Rican the Killswitch! Rock Hard Brickston is sending PRL a message here tonight! The crowd boos loudly. Rock Hard Brickston sneers at Tha Puerto Rican. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has been laid to waste by Rock Hard Brickston! Rock Hard Brickston is growling as he walks over and grabs Tha Puerto Rican by his right leg. Rock Hard Brickston turns PRL around, kneels down on his left knee, and then grabs ahold of PRL’s right ankle to twist it! COLE And now the Anklelock! The Anklelock on Tha Puerto Rican! Rock Hard Brickston applies the Anklelock on Tha Puerto Rican! PRL screams out in pain, clawing at the mat! The crowd freaks out, as The People’s Champion screams his lungs out while trapped in the deadly Anklelock! Rock Hard Brickston also screams, but he’s screaming for PRL to give up! THA PUERTO RICAN TAPS OUT~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 COLE Tha Puerto Rican taps out! But there’s no match! This is just an assault! An ambush! A ruthless attack that Tha Puerto Rican never saw coming! Rock Hard Brickston turns the Anklelock into a HEEL HOOK~! Tha Puerto Rican continues screaming out in pain! Garbage is thrown into the ring. COLE Somebody stop this! This isn’t even an official match! The crowd boos loudly…and the boos only get louder when who should appear at ringside but VITAMIN X! COLE What--what the hell!? VITAMIN X!? What is he doing out here!? He’s retired! He retired just a week ago! Vitamin X is wearing a black buttoned down dress shirt, a black sports jacket, a gold chain around his neck, a $1,000 Rolex watch on his right wrist, black dress pants with a leather belt, and black dress shoes. X has a smirk on his face as he climbs up the ring steps and enters the ring. COLE Vitamin X is back in the OAOAST! What’s he doing here!? What the hell is going on!? Vitamin X tells Rock Hard Brickston to stop hurting PRL. Rock Hard Brickston stops and looks up at Vitamin X. Vitamin X nods his head and applauds Rock Hard Brickston. This just further enrages the already enraged crowd! COLE Rock Hard Brickston and Vitamin X working together? Again? But the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation disbanded 4 months ago! Why are they still partners!? Vitamin X shakes Rock Hard Brickston’s left hand. VITAMIN X Thank you. Thank you. I just can’t thank you enough! ROCK HARD BRICKSTON No problem, X. No problem at all! Tha Puerto Rican is on his stomach, withering in pain. He holds his right ankle. Vitamin X looks down at Tha Puerto Rican and smiles evilly. VX runs his mouth at PRL. He then does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. COLE Will somebody tell me what the hell is going on here!? The crowd boos louder than before. VX high fives Rock Hard Brickston, and then demands a microphone. Rock Hard Brickston smiles evilly as he paces back and forth in the ring. Vitamin X receives a microphone from a ringside attendant. COLE Finally, we’re going to get an explanation here! Vitamin X puts the microphone to his lips and begins speaking. VITAMIN X Oh P.R., P.R., P.R. *Sigh* Don’t you know me by now!? Don’t you know that I ALWAYS have a back-up plan!? You see, 3 weeks ago, I obtained my manager’s license. Hey, it pays to have friends in high places (thank you Popick). So, when I made the match for the Big Apple Spectacular with my career on the line, I was fully aware that, win or lose, the Big Apple Spectacular would NOT be my final appearance in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! Oh no, you can’t get rid of Vitamin X that easily! This was just my ‘Plan B‘, just in case the Big Apple Spectacular didn’t go the way I wanted it to go. COLE Oh my. VITAMIN X (CONT’D) I said that if I lost to you last Thursday, my career was finished…but I never said ANYTHING about leaving professional wrestling all together! The truth was, I was only talking about my IN-RING career, because, yes, THAT career is over. But don’t worry P.R…my MANAGERIAL career has just begun! When I lost, I initiated ‘Plan B’. I have signed a contract to become a MANAGER here in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! If I can’t win the World Heavyweight Championship, I will use my superior intellect to lead someone else to the World Heavyweight Championship! I will use my EXCELLENT leadership skills to take someone to the top of the OAOAST mountain! And I have decided to use all of my skills on this man right here, your next One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion…BRICKSTON! COLE Another name change!? VITAMIN X Next week, PRL, live on HeldDOWN~!, you WILL defend the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship against Brickston one-on-one! COLE Whoa! An OAOAST World Heavyweight Title Match next week on HeldDOWN~! VITAMIN X So, P.R., enjoy this next week, because next Thursday night, your OAOAST World Title reign will FINALLY end! And it will end at the hands of the future of professional wrestling…BRICKSTON! Why? Because he is THAT much better than YOU! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Vitamin X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle again. “Fuel” by Metallica starts playing. Vitamin X drops the microphone onto the mat. He looks down at the hurt PRL and smiles evilly. COLE What a bombshell! Vitamin X has returned to the OAOAST as a manager for Rock Hard--I mean just Brickston now! And next week, Brickston will challenge Tha Puerto Rican for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship on HeldDOWN~! Vitamin X taunts Tha Puerto Rican. He then tells Brickston something. Brickston and Vitamin X talk. They both laugh manically. PRL continues holding his right knee in pain. COLE And Brickston has sent a message to Tha Puerto Rican here tonight, laying him out, giving him the Killswitch, and then the Anklelock, and then turning *that* into a heel hook! The OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion is down while the new #1 Contender is standing tall! Vitamin X holds the ropes for Brickston to leave the ring. X then follows Brickston out of the ring. Vitamin X and Brickston look back at Tha Puerto Rican. Both men have cocky smirks on their faces. Brickston and Vitamin X chuckle. They then start walking up the entrance ramp as “Fuel” continues playing. COLE What a turn of events! Tha Puerto Rican took on Jonathan Coachman and beat him with ease, and then got Pearl Harbored by Brickston and Vitamin X! And now he has got a week to get ready for his next World Title defense!? Something tells me that the ball is in Vitamin X and Brickston’s court now! Vitamin X raises Brickston’s hands in the air and points to him on the entrance ramp. The crowd boos loudly. Brickston and Vitamin X smile evilly. VITAMIN X The next World Heavyweight Champion! THE NEXT OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION IS RIGHT HERE! YEAH BABY! YEAH! BOO-YAH~! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! COLE Tha Puerto Rican’s World Heavyweight Championship reign might be in trouble next week! What a match that should be! Tha Puerto Rican vs. Brickston next week on HeldDOWN~! for the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship, but there’s still a lot more HeldDOWN~! to come here tonight, so stay with us! We’ll be right back! Vitamin X and Brickston continue walking up the entrance ramp, gloating over what they’ve done. Jonathan Coachman has disappeared from ringside, as has Earl Hebner. Tha Puerto Rican lies in the ring, still holding his right knee in tremendous pain as “Fuel” by Metallica continues playing. This is the last image we see as we head into the commercial break. FADE OUT COMMERCIAL BREAK

The spirted emotional trance track Every Word by Ercola plays as we see the statue of tennis legend Arthur Ashe on Monument Avenue. Yo, zack, download the song ASAP! We see HeldDOWN's sometimes loved, sometimes maligned general manager taking time out from her busy schedule of managing this zoo to look over the cover of the School's Out DVD. Near the doorway, stands the intimidating Compton PD to guard against unwanted visitors. One of which happens to be the bubbly Alix Maria Spezia, attired in short jean shorts and a purple polo shirt, the Hollywood Bad Girl bursts through the doorway. She there's to see Josie, but her attention is caught by her fellow Los Angeles natives. ALIX Oh my god, black people! Awesome! 9-MILL The hell is going on here? ALIX I just wanna like say, that even though I grew up in the burbs, I am so down with the hood. I mean, like, I know I swiped some cash, a couple of pennies, or maybe it was twenties out the united negro college fund jar at the dodger game, but, like there was this awesome outfit at Too Cute, and I coulda stolen it, but then there's three strikes law. I juist had to get it. And you don't even need school anyway. You have basketball, and football, and rap music. And The Parkers, and oh they took that off the air. But the other three are more than enough for you. And I really needed something to match my headband. (Alix points to a purple and black floral pattern headband) Cute, huh. Yeah, I know I'm fly as hell. Alix quickly turns away from the PD, leaving them mystified as to whether they've been insulted or praised or both. She slides herself onto Josie's desk, knocking over several very important papers. Does she care? Not in the slightest, as she's become preoccupied with an OAOAST logo snow globe. JOSIE What are you in here for, Alix? Stunned, Alix drops her fascinating snow globe and glares at Joise. ALIX Anglesault! Time to die motherfu....Well, hello, dolly! Anglesault, when did you become vagilicious? I know I prefer taco to hot dog, but's how's about you put a little relish on my bun, and I...uh..hmm...hey, forget dinner lets just have sex! Joise looks to the PD, who just shrug their shoulders as they don't know what to say. JOSIE I am not Anglesault. ALIX Dude, you gotta love yourself, before other's can love you. JOSIE Anglesault was fired weeks ago. ALIX Shirley, you zest! JOSIE Its jest... ALIX Yeah, you don't smell like you use soap. Josie squeezes her DVD case. Tightly. JOSIE And my name isn't Shirley, its Josie. ALIX Oooooooooh. It all makes so much sense now. No it doesn't, where's the bald fatty? JOSIE Look here, Anglesault got the ax because he's a moron. He's a moron that caught trying to get with a hooker on camera. He solicted a prostitute over the internet, went to meet her, was busted by The Enterprise and the police, then ran from the cops, attacked at least three officers, and was only finally subdued when Detective Bosley ran him over at top speed. ALIX Woah, really? HAHAHAHAAH! That's so great! Oh, dude, you have taken humor's razor sharp blade and hath splitith my side, bravo to you! Bravo! LOL times a million. Sometimes you think, man, I should just come into work, and start shooting up everyone, starting with the liberals and non whites, and then you hear something like this and ya wonder why ya even bought the AK47 and bombs off Abdullah anyway. Oh, Jill, you are the man! JOSIE My name is Josie. ALIX I like Jill better! Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, crap, I forgot what happened at the end. JOSIE Jill came tumbling after! ALIX Ooooooh. Wowie-wow! What a plot a twist! So, I guess this awesome lil job is like the settlement or whatev the company gave ya so you don't sell stories about AS' kinky sock fetish to TruTV. Nice! JOSIE Wha...wha..what? Did you just allege that I'm some sort of street walking hooker? ALIX You're a hoe, I'm a Clippers fan. Be in l-u-v with our strengths and our faults! Its one love, Josiecakes. JOSIE WHY ARE YOU IN MY OFFICE?! ALIX I dunno. JOSIE WHAT? ALIX Wait, wait, I'll think of something. Oh, cool, got it! And Krista said eating paint would destroy my braincells...Hey' you're not Anglesault! JOSIE Grrrrr. ALIX Joking with ya. Well, like, and don't like get all BUTT hurt or nothin, because your high temper is already a sign of chronic constipation, but, like, you kinda suck at your job, and you should like quit. Or get better, maybe. But, yeah, quitting would be cool. No pressure, but I have dynamite strapped to Faqu's chest and if you haven't cleared out your things in three minutes we're all gonna be feasting on well done samoan hamburgers. JOSIE I can't believe I have to deal with this. Shouldn't you be back in LA talking to some airheaded reporter about your music "career", or sitting at the pool, doing nothing but wasting your girlfriend's money? ALIX Oh no, the pool gets cleaned on Thursday. I couldn't find a lesbian pool cleaner that looked like salma hayek so I just hang out here. JOSIE How can you complain about how I'm doing my job? You didn't even know I was GM until I told you. ALIX I don't need logic and evidence to make a judgment, I have bias and racism to guide me. And you suck! You really suck. Why'd you let The Enterprise out there to mess with Krista, huh? That wasn't cool at all how CPA ran out there and attacked her. JOSIE Oh, I get it, you're upset because of your girlfriend. ALIX Uh-uh, future ex-wife. She's gotta propose to me soon! She's gotta, she's gotta, she's gotta. I already sold footage of the wedding to In Touch magazine, and footage of the honeymoon boom-chick-a-wow-wow to my dad's prison buddies for a carton of Virginia slims, and a back issue of Juggs. JOSIE I suppose I can understand that. Caring for a loved one. But CPA was only a small problem for her, she won the match in the end. So what's the problem exactly? No harm, no foul. ALIX The problem is you can't just let them do whatever they want. Well, they're rich, republican, and protestants, so tradition says ya kinda can. But, you're already letting them get away with murder! What about that poor referee Moneymaker just went all Naomi Campbell on? You're not gonna do anything about that are ya? People like him, Tim Cash, or MARV and MEL aren't always gonna find a way to beat off Moneymaker, no hetero, so you gotta take a stand, and I know ya won't because Moneymaker hooked ya up with this job or whatever. And that really sucks, because they don't have any limits. Once you let them run wild, you've allowed them to take away someone very special to all of us...Dom. JOSIE Dom? ALIX Like, all I ask is that ya free dom. Free. Dom. Free dom. Freedom. FREEDOM! FREEDOM! FREEDOM! Josie squeezes her DVD cover to the point that it cracks. JOSIE Get out. ALIX Very well. I can see you're intimidated by an intelligent black woman. Alix walks past the PD and daps them up. Much against their will. Very much in fact. As she walks out into the hallway, she sees Jade Rodez-Duncan hanging out near the door waiting to talk to her. Jade nervously approaches her. JADE Alix can I talk to you? ALIX Well ya are my future step daughter, so you can talk, but do I gotta listen? 'Cause that's really hard to care about other people's problems. JADE Its uh...pretty important. ALIX Okay-dokie, lemme here it. JADE Do you think I should keep going after Malaysia and the women's title? What's your honest opinion, because I've been thinking about it a lot. All the time. I took Mom's name, I dedicated the match to her, and when I finally got out there...I...I...it was horrible...I embarrassed myself. ALIX No ya didn't, silly girl! Embarrassing yourself, would be, like, I dunno, getting up to sing Lola at karoke night and your pants rip and you have a pee spot on your underwear. JADE I think this was worse. As bad as that example probably is, this was worse. I'm still having nightmares. I embarrassed Mom also, didn't I? I know I had to. I hear what people around here say. ALIX No way, Jadeycakes! No way at all. The real dope thing about your mom is you can do all kinds of, like, sucky things and she'll still love ya. You can get up at her cousin's batmitzvah and sing Lola, and have your pants rip and have a pee spot on your underwear and she'll still go down on you during the Torah blessings. JADE No, no, this is different. I really screwed up, and am I just gonna screw up more? If I fight Malaysia again, and I get beat as bad as before, what then. What's Mom going to think? How will Maya react, knowing her big sister is some lame weakling? What are people gonna say about me, Al? ALIX Jade, what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger, and stuff, so, like, you know, you gotta be, like, she hulk after that thing with Malaysia! JADE Melody said the results of a She Hulk versus Malaysia fight are inconclusive at this current moment. ALIX Oh poopie! Jade, I don't care, what you say, or Melody's crazy ass superhero versus wrestler machine says either! You were totally born to win that title or my name isn't ESPN's Chris Mortensen. My name is not ESPN's Chris Mortensen, but you're still gonna win. You're still a Duncan, you're still a Rodez, and those are two names that fall under the win column a crazy amount of times around here! And you've got a big heart, and that can be a serious medical condition so get that checked out, but its also gonna help ya beat Malaysia who ain't got a heart! She's, like, got nothing to fight for, and you do! You were born to win that title, and I was born to steal it from you and trade it on craigslist to some dude for part of Jodie Foster's bra strap. JADE Thanks Alix. Hey, I have to go console D*LUX before they write a creepy song about their draw. SHAYNE (singing off screen) I got a tie, and a tie is like kissing your sistah, worse if ya sistah was a mistah, but I'd kiss my sistah if she was Krista, woooah, I'd kiss my sistah if she was Krista, hell yes, I'd kiss my sistah if she was Krista! Oh Krista if you were my sistah I'd french kiss ya! JADE Too late. Fade out on Jade plugging her ears and heading towards her singing tag team. COACH Normally, I'd have some smart aleck remark about what we just saw...but I feel the Grim Reaper is on my ass, so I'm not in the mood to joke. The camera cuts to the backstage area where Tha Puerto Rican is shown WALKING~! The crowd cheers loudly. Tha Puerto Rican has the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his left hand. He has a serious expression on his face. COLE Oh yeah, Coach. Coming up next is YOUR match! (Cut to Sofa Central.) COACH W--wh--what!? Now!? As in up now!? COLE Yes, Coach. Your match is up next! COACH R--re--really!? COLE Yes, Coach. COACH Really? COLE Yes, Coach. COACH Really? COLE YES, COACH! COACH ...Do I have to? COLE You agreed to the match! You made your bed, now lie in it! COACH Oh, oh, oh! OH GOD! OH MY GOD! COLE Time to go, Coach! COACH Oh boy. Oh...oh...oh... Coach removes his headset and puts it down on top of the announce table. Coach hesitates, but then stands up out of his seat. He looks at Cole, who motions for him to get into the ring. Coach shakes his head. Cole motions for him to get into the ring again. Coach groans, and then walks around the ringside area. "Hard Hittin'" by Homebwoi starts playing. Coach walks up the ring steps. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following non-title match is scheduled for one fall with a thirty-minute TV time limit. Introducing first, coming to the ring at this time. From Wichita, Kansas. Weighing in at 235 lbs. He is the One And Only AngleSault Thread's lead colour commentator, JONATHAN "DA COACHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" COACHMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Coach looks back at Michael Cole, groans, and then enters the ring. Coach has a look of complete and utter fear on his face as he stands in the ring. COLE Da Coach about to wrestle for the first time in an OAOAST ring! What an interesting match this should be! Tha Puerto Rican set to go one-on-one with our very own Coach, coming up right after this break! Coach paces back and forth in the ring. He tells Cole, "I'm not a wrestler!" again and again. Coach is nervously shaking as "Hard Hittin'" by Homebwoi continues playing over the P.A. system. This is the last image that we see before we fade out. FADE OUT COMMERCIAL

OAOAST HeldDOWN is brought to by.... (Cut to Double C at Sofa Central.) COLE Fans, last week at the Big Apple Spectacular, we saw the end of the career of-- COACH --the career of the greatest superstar never to win the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title! Vitamin X suffered a great indignity last week, being retired at the hands of Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Coach, Vitamin X DID make the stipulations himself. COACH So? He still suffered a great indignity! He still did! STILL did! It was a horrible tragedy what occurred last week. The One And Only AngleSault Thread just lost one of its best! The OAOAST will never be the same without the presence of Vitamin X! COLE Yeah, you’re right. It’s gotten even better! COACH Hush, white boy! You know what? I can’t stand it any longer! I can’t stay quiet while injustice after injustice takes place in front of my own two eyes! I gotta speak up! I gotta stand up for what I believe in! I gotta speak my mind! And I’m gonna do it, right here! Right now! COLE What? COACH I’m gonna do it! I’m gonna say what’s on my mind LIVE in front of all of these people! I’m gonna do it right this second! COLE Coach…what are you doing? COACH I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna do it. Coach puts down his headset on top of the announce table. He stands up out of his seat while Michael Cole looks on, confused. COLE Coach… Coach grabs the microphone closest to him on the announce table. COACH Excuse me, excuse me. Ladies and gentlemen, I have something to say. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH Now, ever since AngleMania VII, we have been FORCED to endure, night after night, Tha Puerto Rican holding the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship like he’s the only man on the planet capable of doing so! Well I say that’s BULLSH(Bleep)! Because there WAS someone else on this planet capable of holding that Title, and his name was Vitamin X! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Coach ignores the boos. COACH Unfortunately, Vitamin X will never be able to become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion because last week in Central Park on the Big Apple Spectacular, Vitamin X had his career ended by Tha Puerto Rican! “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Coach sneers at the fans. COLE Oh, Coach… COACH Not now, Michael! Now, in honor of this tragic event, I ask all of you to please bow your heads for a moment of silence in memoriam (“BOOOOOOOOO!”) to the best professional wrestler never to wear the 10 pounds of gold. Better than “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, better than Dynamite Kid, better than Buff Bagwell. (“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!“) There was only one X-Man, and his name was Vitamin X! Everybody bow your heads now! DO IT! DO IT NOW! DON’T MAKE ME ASK YOU AGAIN! COLE Coach, come on. Coach looks around the arena. COACH BOW YOUR HEADS DAMNIT! THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS! The boos get louder. Coach bows his head and takes a moment of silence. All of the fans in attendance refuse to follow suit and instead honor Vitamin X by booing as loud as they can. Michael Cole just sits in his seat and shakes his head. “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* Coach becomes agitated by the chant. COACH DAMNIT! YOU’RE NOT LISTENING! YOU’RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION! DO AS I SAY! BOW YOUR HEADS NOW! Coach goes back to bowing his head for his moment of silence. The crowd goes back to booing loudly. Cole goes back to doing this: But Coach ignores Cole’s face palm to continue his one-man moment of silence for someone the audience clearly despises. Until… “THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP…” *DUN DUN* “…IS…” *DUN* “…HERE!” “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” He is interrupted by “Know Your Role 2000”! A lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and the crowd explodes with cheers. Coach stops his moment of silence and looks up in fear. COLE Uh-oh. Coach, it looks like someone didn’t want to have a moment of silence for Vitamin X! The lights go down inside of the arena. PR is heard saying, “THE CHAMP IS HERE!” in tune with the beat of the song, while smoke fills the entrance stage and spotlights circle around and around the arena. A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and then Tha Puerto Rican quickly saunters out through the smoke and power walks down the entrance ramp, not stopping at all. The crowd cheers louder than before. COLE That ain’t no mirage! The Champ truly IS HERE! Tha Puerto Rican is wearing his Puerto Rican flag bandana on his head, in addition to sunglasses, an earring on his left ear, a gold chain around his neck, a white dress shirt with a black tie, a black sports jacket, a $500 Rolex watch on his right wrist, black dress pants with a leather belt, and black dress shoes. PRL is carrying the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder as he walks down the entrance ramp. Coach just stands in place, frozen in fear. COLE We don’t have P.R. scheduled for a match here tonight, so it looks like he is making his way over here, Coach! COACH … Tha Puerto Rican stops at ringside to slap hands with the fans. He then power walks around the ringside area. Tha Puerto Rican grabs a microphone from the timekeeper’s table and then walks on over to Sofa Central. COLE He IS coming this way after all! PRL stops at Sofa Central. He looks directly at Coach. Coach starts sweating bullets, as he makes eye contact with Tha Puerto Rican. Tha Puerto Rican adjusts the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. He has a cocky smirk on his face as he measures up Jonathan Coachman. Michael Cole just sits and watches all of this, trying to hide his smile. THA PUERTO RICAN Okay. Cut it. “Know Your Role 2000” dies down. The crowd cheers loudly. PRL continues staring at Coach. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” Tha Puerto Rican “smells the electricity”. He then goes back to staring at Coach. THA PUERTO RICAN So, it seems like someone on the OAOAST announce team has a little grudge against me! A little bias against me! And it was apparently made worst by me retiring Vitamin X’s roody poo-- CROWD --CANDY ASS! THA PUERTO RICAN --last Thursday night on the Big Apple Spectacular! “YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH Now, see, P.R., P.R., P.R…you…you…you--you did a bad thing last Thursday. A very bad thing! Vitamin X wasn’t even in his prime yet! And yet, last Thursday, YOU ended his career! YOU retired him! YOU made him the laughingstock of the OAOAST! YOU did it! YOU! YOU! YOU! The crowd boos loudly. Tha Puerto Rican does The People’s Eyebrow. THA PUERTO RICAN Um Coach, Vitamin X made the match himself! That was all his doing! HE made the match for the Title, HE made the match a Steel Cage Match, and HE put his OWN career on the line! If anyone is to be blamed for Vitamin X no longer being a wrestler in this company…well, I’d have to put the blame solely on Vitamin X! Vitamin X is the reason Vitamin X is the laughingstock of the OAOAST! COACH But couldn’t you have like…lie down for him or something? THA PUERTO RICAN ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? Coach, in case you haven’t gotten the message yet: Tha Puerto Rican doesn’t lay down for NOBODY! ESPECIALLY former coattail-riders-turn-ungrateful sumbitches! The crowd cheers loudly. Another “P.R.!” chant breaks out. PRL “smells the electricity” again. The camera cuts to several PRL signs in the crowd. THA PUERTO RICAN Coach, what happened? You and I, we used to be tight, yo! What happened, man? You flaked out on me! That’s cold, dude. Cold-blooded! COACH I’ll tell you what happened, Puerto. You became soft! You became weak minded. Instead of listening to yourself, you listened to these people, your so-called ’Lightning Bolts’! Every action you take is based on what these people want! WHO GIVES A DAMN WHAT THESE PEOPLE WANT!? “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH The REAL PRL wouldn’t give a damn! The REAL PRL would lay the smackdown on anybody that got in his way with a smile on his face! The REAL PRL would run an old lady over and then throw paint on a five-year-old! The REAL PRL would spit on The Mad Cappa before he would ever shake his hand! He would spit on Colombian Heat too, while we’re at it! The REAL PRL would lead his Lightning Crew to the Promised Land, all the while raking in title belts and ruling as World Heavyweight Champion in peace! The crowd boos loudly. Tha Puerto Rican thinks about what Coach just said. He puts his right hand on his chin to signify that he is thinking about what Coach just said. PRL has a serious look on his face. THA PUERTO RICAN Hmmm…nope…that’s not what the REAL PRL would do! The crowd cheers! THA PUERTO RICAN The REAL PRL, as you like to say Coach, gives a damn about his fans! The REAL PRL thinks about others before he does stuff! The REAL PRL respects The Mad Cappa and thinks Colombian Heat is the best friend a guy could ever have! And the REAL PRL doesn’t need a bunch of no talent, brainless, easily led ass kissers following him every step he takes! Oh, and Coach, The REAL PRL DOES lay the smackdown on anybody that gets in my way with a smile on his face and incase you have forgotten, I am a 3-time Puerto Rican/Italian/Puerto Rican Champion, former X-Division Champion, former HI-YAH World Tag Team Champion, former North American Champion, the longest reigning 24/7 Champion in OAOAST history, and oh yeah… Tha Puerto Rican raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt high into the air with his left hand. The crowd cheers. THA PUERTO RICAN ...THE REIGNING ONE AND ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” PRL So, as you can clearly see, I am doing quite well for myself. This IS the REAL PRL you are seeing! That PRL you were watching since I came into this company wasn’t really me! I thought it was, but it wasn’t. But now, I know for sure, that this is the REAL PRL! And the REAL PRL couldn’t be any happier than he is right now! COACH Oh cut the crap, P.R.! You are so weak, I bet that *I* could beat you in a match! THA PUERTO RICAN Then…why don’t you try to? The crowd cheers. Coach is shocked. COACH W--wh--what? THA PUERTO RICAN You say that you could beat me…so why not try to? The crowd cheers again. THA PUERTO RICAN It sounds like you wanna fight me in the ring in a match! And it sounds like you wanna fight me in the ring in a match RIGHT HERE IN RICHMOND, VIRGINIA! (CHEAP POP~!) COACH WHAT!? No! No! It’s--well--I don’t have my gear with me! I’m in a shirt and khakis! THA PUERTO RICAN Just fight with that then. It’s not like you have anything worth showing off, you jabroni! COACH But--tonight--here? Live!? On HELDDOWN~!? THA PUERTO RICAN Yes, Coach. You catch on pretty quick! Coach, you have been riding my back ever since The Lightning Crew turned on me, and it has gotten on my last nerve! 9 months of annoyance ends tonight! Tonight, I would love to have the opportunity to stick my size 10 boot right up your bald headed candy ass! So, what do you say? COACH I--uh--err--umm---err--YOU’RE ON! Coach immediately mouths, “What the hell did I just say!?” to Michael Cole, who just shakes his head and tries to hold back his laughter. The crowd cheers loudly. Tha Puerto Rican has a satisfied grin on his face. THA PUERTO RICAN Then it’s settled. See you later in the ring, Coach. Oh and by the way: watch out for the lightning strikes, because you, Coach, are about to suffer a P.R. Nightmare! And that’s the truth, Ruth! THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP…HAS…SPO-KUN~!!! “Know Your Role 2000” starts playing again. Tha Puerto Rican drops the microphone onto the ground and stares at Coach. The crowd cheers. Coach looks up at Tha Puerto Rican. PRL mouths, “You. Me. Tonight.” and then does a cutthroat hand gesture. PRL points a menacing finger at Coach, and then raises his right fist into the air to a loud pop from the crowd. PRL walks back up the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way. COLE Well, Coach…you brought this onto yourself. COACH Tonight? Tonight? I--I’m--I’m wrestling…tonight!? Here!? TONIGHT!? TONIGHT!? TONIGHT!? COLE Yes. Yes, you are, Coach. Tha Puerto Rican vs. Jonathan “Da Coach” Coachman coming up later tonight here on HeldDOWN~! COACH T--tonight!? Tonight!? Really!? Tonight!? COLE Yes, Coach. You asked for it, and you got it! COACH I DIDN’T ASK FOR NOTHING! PRL TRICKED ME! HE TRICKED ME! I KNOW THAT HE DID! HE USED SOME JEDI MIND TRICK! I KNOW THAT HE DID! I KNOW IT! OH GOD! I’M GONNA WRESTLE TONIGHT! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! I’M GONNA DIE! OH GOD! COLE While Coach cries over his inevitable death, we’ll take a break. Fans, stay with us, we’ll be right back right after this! Coach is a blubbery mess right now, crying his eyes out knowing the fate that awaits him later tonight. Michael Cole tries, unsuccessfully, to comfort Coach. Tha Puerto Rican has already left through the entrance doors, but “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing over the P.A. system. Cole comforting Coach is the last image we see before we head to a commercial break. FADE OUT COMMERCIALS

The non stop energy of Another Love by the Mac Project serenades us over an outside view of the arena, whatever it is, I have no clue! When we return to the inside the red carpet is already rolled out. "If you are what you say you are A superstar Then have no fear The camera's here and the microphones and they wanna know Oh oh oh yeah" by Lupe Fiasco plays as Molly Nerdly leads out the Beverly Hills Blonds, filming with the Siclopse. COLE Big match here, the winner of this one gets Thunderkid and Reject at AngleSlam for the belts! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, with the winner earning a shot at the OAOAST World tag team titles at AngleSlam! Introducing first, being accompanied by Molly Nerdly...from Beverly Hills, California, at a combined weight of 460 pounds...representing The Enterprise, the team of NED BLANCHARD and SIMON SINGLETON, the BEVERLYYYYYYY HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSSSS S BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! The Blonds climb into the ring, and Simon poses for the crowd, while Ned makes passes at some females sitting ringside. Makes Me Wonder by Maroon 5 hits, and the fans come to their feet for D*LUX, led out by Jade Rodez. BUFFER Their opponents...being accompanied to the ring by Jade Rodez-Duncan...from Detroit and Auburn Hills, Michigan, respectively, at a combined weight of 379 pounds...the team of SHAYNE BRAVE and TYLER BRYANT...DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE * LLLLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!! COLE A tremendous matchup set to take place here on HeldDOWN~! The camera pans to the timekeepers' table, where Maggie Nerdly sits with a microphone. COLE And there is Maggie Nerdly, we understand she'll be giving an in-ring interview to the winner of the match! D*LUX plays to the crowd a bit, then both teams begin to talk out strategy. Shayne and Simon step out, as the referee calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* Tyler and Ned circle the ring, and tie up. Both men jockey for position, then Tyler takes down Ned with an armdrag! COLE Nice armdrag there by Tyler Bryant! Ned gets to one knee and sizes up Tyler, then the two tie up again. This time, Ned is able to execute a nice hiptoss on Tyler! Ned celebrates his feat, to the boos of the crowd. COACH And a nice response from Ned! Tyler gets to his feet, and the two circle the ring once again, then tie up. Tyler grabs a side headlock, and Ned backs him into the ropes, then shoves him across. He drops down, then comes up and executes a leapfrog, then drops down for a reverse monkey flip, but Tyler stops and drops a fist to the face! COLE Ned going to the well once too often, and paying for it! Ned rolls to the outside, where Molly is there to check on him. Ned takes a rest, then rolls back in, as Tyler tags in Shayne. Ned and Shayne circle the ring, then tie up. Shayne gets a hold of the right arm and wrings it, but Ned quickly reverses. Shayne reverses again, and quickly bars the arm. Ned is able to back him into the ropes, and whips him across, then drops down, and tries to catch him for a slam, but Shayne drops behind, and lifts Ned for an atomic drop! COLE Atomic drop, coming up! Simon attempts to come in the ring, but when he does, Shayne completes the move, causing Ned and Simon to crash together! Simon rolls to the outside, while Shayne and Tyler hit a double-dropkick on Ned, causing him to follow! COLE D*LUX on a roll here early on! The Blonds regroup on the floor, and eventually Ned rolls back in, and ties up once again with Shayne. Ned backs him into the ropes, then breaks slowly, and delivers right hands, followed by a scoop slam in mid-ring, then tags in Simon. Simon comes in, but is surprised by a drop toe hold from Shayne! COLE Nice recovery from Shayne there after getting slammed to the mat! Simon gets to his feet, but gets caught in an armdrag! Simon starts to get back to his feet, but drops back down when he sees Shayne there with his fist clenched. Slowly, he gets back to his feet, then challenges Shayne to a test of strength. Shayne slowly moves in and locks knuckles. COACH Test of strength, and I've gotta think Simon's got the edge here, Cole! COLE Simon with a decided weight and leverage advantage over Shayne Brave, so you'd have to assume that, yes. Both men struggle against each other, then bring the hands up, and Shayne is ultimately forced down to one knee. Simon looks proud of himself, as he continues to force Shayne down with the wrists. However, as the crowd gets behind Shayne, his hands start to shake, and he begins to force his way up! COLE But look at Shayne fight back! Shayne gets to his feet, then kicks Simon in the midsection, before sliding underneath him and catching Ned with a shot to the gut as he comes in the ring! Ned rolls to the floor as Tyler dropkicks Simon to the floor, then D*LUX executes STEREO SUICIDE DIVES~! COLE FLYING WITHOUT WINGS from D*LUX~! D*LUX fires off rights, then toss the Blonds back inside. They grab Simon and execute the COWELL MOVEMENT~!, then execute a DOUBLE SUPERKICK~! on Ned, sending both right back to the floor! COLE HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME~!, and the Blonds had better get it together! COACH This is not looking good right now, Cole! Tyler stands in the ring and awaits one of the Blonds, which after some stalling on their part, ends up being Simon. The two tie up, and Simon backs Tyler into the ropes, then fires off rights, followed by a knee to the gut, then tags in Ned. However, Ned gets caught in an armdrag! COLE Just when the Blonds start to get in rhythm, they get caught by surprise! Shayne holds onto the arm, and tags Tyler back in. The two whip Ned into the ropes, and drop him with a double back elbow! Shayne goes to pick up Ned, but gets caught with a shot to the gut, followed by blows to the back. Ned tags Simon back in, and Simon delivers right hands. Shayne fights back with rights of his own, then backs into the ropes, where Molly grabs his foot! COLE And look at this, Molly from the outside! Shayne jumps out and goes after Molly, who leads him in a chase around the ring, until suddenly Ned, who had ducked down below the apron out of sight, pops up with a clothesline! COLE And now Ned, what a cheap shot that was! That was set up beautifully by the Blonds and Molly! Ned picks up Shayne, and delivers a scoop slam on the floor! COLE And now a slam on the outside! Ned then picks up Shayne and rolls him back in, where Simon, who was distracting the referee, covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Simon then chokes away on Shayne, before tagging in Ned. Ned drapes Shayne over the top rope, then lifts him up by the legs, as Simon leaps over the top of him and comes crashing down onto Shayne! COLE Classic double-team move from the Blonds! Ned hammers Shayne down to the mat, then backs him into the ropes and tags Simon back in. Simon grabs Shayne and whips him across, catching him with a drop toe hold, as Ned comes flying in with an elbow to the back of the head! COACH And now it's the Blonds that are starting to get things cooking, Cole! They may be going to AngleSlam! Simon covers... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE But don't count out Shayne and Tyler yet! Simon picks up Shayne, and executes a hanging vertical suplex! COACH A few more moves like that, and you can! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Simon tags Ned back in, and Ned whips Shayne across, catching him with a powerslam! Ned stops briefly to gloat, then covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Ned questions the referee, then nails Tyler on the apron, drawing him into the ring, before tossing Shayne to the outside. While outside, Simon scoops up Shayne and drops him across the guardrail! COLE And Simon continuing the assault on the outside! Simon jaws with some fans, then picks up Shayne, and attempts to ram him into the post. However, Shayne blocks, and it's Simon who's head meets the post! COLE Nice block by Shayne on the outside! However, as Shayne rolls back in, he gets caught with an elbowdrop from Ned! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Ned whips Shayne into the ropes, but puts his head down, and Shayne executes a sunset flip! 1... 2... Kickout! Ned quickly takes down Shayne and chokes away, breaking at the referee's four-count. He then picks him up and delivers right hands...which Shayne returns! COLE And look at Shayne continue to fight back! Shayne backs into the ropes and charges Ned...who catches him with the STUN GUN~!!!!!11111 COLE Ned got the Stun Gun! 1... 2... NO! Tyler makes the save! COACH Come on, ref! COLE This match could have been over right there, but Tyler in there to save his partner! Ned tags Simon, who climbs to the top rope, as Ned tosses him off for the ROCKET LAUNCHER~!!!...but Shayne gets his knees up! COLE Shayne getting the knees up! Ned tries to drop an elbow on Shayne, but Shayne rolls out of the way and tags in Tyler! COLE And the tag is made! Tyler comes in a HOUSE AFIRE~!, nailing both Blonds with right hands! He then executes a scoop slam to Ned, followed by a dropkick to Simon! He knocks Ned out of the ring, then backs Simon into the corner, setting up an Irish whip, but Simon reverses, then charges. He goes for a shoulderblock, but Tyler lifts his legs up, then rolls down with a sunset flip! 1... 2... NO! Kickout! Simon drills Tyler with a double axhandle, then sets up an Irish whip of his own, but this time it's Tyler who reverses. Simon grabs the ropes and slings himself over the top of Tyler as he charges, but Tyler quickly turns around, and catches him with the MERRY TYLER GORE SHOW~!!!!!11111 COLE HE GOT IT~! This is it! 1... 2... NO!!! Ned makes the save! COLE Wow, if not for Ned, this would be over! Shayne comes flying into the picture, delivering right hands to Ned, as Tyler continues to assault Simon on the mat. COACH The referee is losing it here, Cole! The referee goes over to Tyler, but gets shoved away for his efforts. He then makes his way to the corner, and gets the same treatment from Ned. He approaches the corner once again, and in the heat of the moment, takes a double headbutt from Ned and Shayne! COLE Oh, this one's WAY out of control! The referee, groggy, signals for the bell. *DING DING DING* COLE And it looks like he's thrown this one out! COACH But what about the title shot? BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen...the referee has disqualified BOTH TEAMS, ruling this bout a double-disqualification! Molly slides a chair in to Simon, who grabs it and swings it upward, drilling Tyler with it! Ned then spins himself around in order to expose Shayne's back, for another shot from Simon! COLE And D*LUX assaulted with those steel chairs! COACH Well, which team's standing, Cole? It's obvious to me which team's deserving of the title shot! COLE But they didn't win the match, Coach! The result was a double-disqualification! Simon then turns and sees Maggie, who has entered the ring for her interview, and clutches the chair with evil intentions, as Maggie backs into a corner. COLE Oh, come on, you guys, don't do this! Ned has Maggie totally backed into the corner, when the camera cuts to the aisle to show REJECT, attired in black dress pants and a long-sleeved lavender dress shirt, racing to the ring! COACH Look at this! Reject slides in, then grabs the chair from Simon and cracks him over the head! Ned then turns and sees Reject, and charges him for a clothesline, but Reject ducks, drops the chair, and catches Ned with the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 Reject stares at the fallen Ned, before Simon manages to grab his foot and pull him to safety. Reject leans against the ropes and stares them down as they retreat up the aisle. COLE Wow..I never thought I'd say this, Coach, but thank God for Reject! Reject looks over at Maggie, then walks up and puts his hands on her arms, asking her if she's okay, to which she nods approvingly. The crowd then starts to cheer, as LEON RODEZ runs to the ring! COLE And here comes Leon! COACH Yeah, a little late, don't ya think? Leon slides in and grabs the chair, then blasts Reject over the head with it as he turns around! COACH Wait a minute! COLE Big chairshot from Leon Rodez to his opponent tonight, Reject! COACH Now why would he do that? He should be thankful that Reject was there to save his girl! COLE I don't know what to make of this triangle that's been going on lately, Coach, I just don't. Leon ushers Maggie out of the ring, and the two leave the ring area, as Reject lays on the mat, looking between the bottom and middle rope at them as they leave. However, Maggie can't help but take a couple concerned looks back towards the ring at him. COACH Well, I think we saw right here who the better man for Maggie would be! And it's that man right there, the R-Man! COLE Your opinion only, Coach! Folks, we'll be back after this! Cut backstage, where Reject walks into Josie's office, holding his head. JOSIE Reject, hello! What can I do you for? REJECT Did you see what that chump Rodez just did to me out there? I go out and save "his" girl, and that's the thanks I get? JOSIE Well...what do you plan to do about it? REJECT I'll tell you exactly what I plan to do about it. Reject pulls out his golden envelope, and lays it on Josie's desk. REJECT I'm going to put him away tonight, once and for all. With my favor, I want to make my Money in the Bank tournament match with Leon tonight...NO HOLDS BARRED. *crowd cheers* JOSIE OK, just sign here on the ticket... Reject signs the back of the ticket without hesitation. JOSIE OK then, that makes it official. Tonight's Money in the Bank tournament match between you, Reject, and Leon Rodez, will be contested with No Holds Barred! *crowd cheers* JOSIE Good luck! REJECT Thanks a lot, but it's not me that's going to need luck. Leon's going to need that luck, and more. Reject leaves the office, where Thunderkid waits for him, and they start to walk down the hall. TK So what happens with us now? The winner of that match was supposed to face us at AngleSlam for the belts. REJECT Who knows. Maybe since there wasn't a winner, we'll get the night off, and can spend the night on the Riverwalk. Reject and TK then stop, as the Beverly Hills Blonds confront them, with Ned getting into the face of Reject. NED Who the hell do you think you are, coming out and getting involved in our affairs? REJECT When I see a man stalking a woman into a corner with a steel chair and a hard-on, I figure he's probably not out collecting for the Red Cross. NED Oh, funny guy, huh? Well, while we're referencing Clint Eastwood, you better feel lucky that match got thrown out, punk. We should be on our way to AngleSlam to take on the two of you for those belts! REJECT You know, you're right. You should be on your way there, because you two should have enough stones to beat two little bubblegum pop punks like D*LUX. But you couldn't even do that. So you should be lucky that you don't have to step in the ring with us. NED We don't have to step in the ring. There's no one separating us right now! At that point, Ned backs off a bit, as Alfdogg walks into camera view on the left side of Reject, with Sandman walking in on the far side right of Thunderkid, brandishing a barbed wire bat. ALF We got a problem here? SIMON You damn right we do. ALF Oh, so he talks. For a minute there I thought a cat cut your tongue. SIMON (fist clinched) MAN (off-screen) ALFFFFFFFF!!! Heads turn as Enterprise CEO Theodore Moneymaker graces the group with his presence, beet red and sweating profusely. And where the Billion Dollar Heir goes so too does CPA, who keeps a close eye on Sandman and his barbed wire bat. Also present: Christian Wright and Mackenzie DeCenzo. ALF Jesus, Teddy, you don’t look too good. If you’re not more careful you might wind up in a hospital bed next to your buddy Kelsey Grammer. That draws a laugh from the World tag team champions, not Moneymaker and the Blonds though. THEODORE Somehow I doubt you’re interested in my well-being, seeing as how the Deadly Alliance would be able to swoop right in and seize power if my Enterprise were to be taken out of the picture. I’m sure that has a little bit to do with your boys sticking their noses where it didn’t belong, costing Simon and Ned a shot at the titles at Angleslam. And I don’t blame you at all. They are 3 time tag team champions, after all. One more reign and they tie the record…and nobody likes being on the other side of those. ALF (sniffles) Is that your cologne I smell or that of paranoia in the air? We didn’t cost the Blonds anything. Unlike Reject and TK, your guys couldn’t get the job done. Too much time partying with pseudo-celebs if you ask me. As you've found out in the past, you can't buy titles...you gotta win them. That's why the Deadly Alliance holds the gold and the Enterprise blows smoke, making us, as I've always said, the premier organization in the OAOAST. We know what taking care of business is all about. THEODORE You’re starting to wear real thin on me, Alfdogg. I don’t think you quite understand how big a thorn on your side the Enterprise can be. CPA steps forward, cracking his knuckles. ALF A threat, huh? THEODORE No, just a friendly reminder. ALF Well, in that case, allow me to remind you of something as well...friend. Sandman points the barbed wire bat at CPA, leading to a standoff between the Enterprise and Deadly Alliance. Even Mackenzie DeCenzo is ready to fight, arming herself with a can of hairspray. THEODORE (chuckles nervously) Why, this is no way for gentlemen to act in front of a lady. I say we let our esteem new General Manager work out the situation. She was hired to make the tough decisions, right? I think we know where everybody stands after this very productive face to face meeting. Alf nods, then signals for his alliance to move out, but they do so cautiously. Reject locking eyes with Mackenzie in passing. REJECT Girl, please. I’m a one woman man! MACKENZIE Speak to the hand gestures Mackenzie. TK amused by his partner’s words. Moneymaker’s demeanor changes once the Deadly Alliance is out of view. One that says it’s war. THEODORE COLE (O.S.) First La Cucaracha International and now The Deadly Alliance, Theodore Moneymaker making enemies with two very powerful groups in the OAOAST! We fade out from Moneymaker's snarling visage and into... COMMERCIAL

A video begins, in a locker room which is totally blacked out, with the exception of a dim light aimed on a muscular figure sitting on a bench with his back to the camera, which slowly moves in on him as the narrator speaks, cutting away only as mentioned below. Come on God, Answer Me. Footage of the man lifting weights, his face still not visible. For Years, I've Been Asking You Why? Footage of the man's hands, as he stares at them off camera. Why are the Innocent Dead and the Guilty Alive? Footage of the man clenching his fists. Where is Justice? Where is Punishment? . . . . . . . . . . . Footage of Brock Ausstin pulverizing Felix Strutter with a clothesline. Or Have You Already Answered? Footage of Brock executing a belly-to-belly on Bohemoth. Have You Already Said to the World, Here is Justice. Here is Punishment. F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111 to Alfdogg. Here.... Footage of Brock giving a roar in the ring, then back to the locker room, where the muscular man (Brock, obv.) turns his head and looks back into the camera. ...In Me." BROCK AUSSTIN RETURNS AngleSlam August 31st San Antonio, Texas Live on PPV *cut back to Sofa Central* COLE The OAOAST and its fans anxiously await the return of Brock Ausstin, who a few months ago suffered a serious shoulder injury that put him on the shelf, and there was the announcement, he will be back in some capacity at AngleSlam! COACH I'm kind of anxious to see that, Cole! The return of Brock Ausstin should definitely shake things up here in the OAOAST! COLE Well, speaking of Angleslam, we've got a match with Angleslam implications coming up here in Richmond! COMING UP NEXT TAG TITLE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER'S MATCH D*LUX VS THE BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS NEXT!

The Virgina Captial building, which was designed by Thomas Jefferson, welcomes us back along with Making quick work of the corridor beneath his feet, Leon Rodez is clearly in a hurry as he makes his way towards the office of the General Manager. With a quick look both ways to check the coast is clear, Leon pulls open the door and shoots in swiftly, almost bowling over a surprised Sophie Grey. There's worse people you could bump into, as evident by the apologetic smile on Leon's face. LEON Hey, I'm here to see Josie. SOPHIE Oui, redressez de cette façon. LEON Ooh. Gracias. Leon breezes past the Affirmative Action lawyer, only realising once past her he's goofed on the wrong language, by which time it's too much of an embarrassment to go back and correct himself. So he brushes it off and carries on to the GM's desk. LEON Well well, long time no see! Looking up from her paperwork, Josie sees her former acquaintance (although, not in 'that' way) shutting the door to the office rather sharply, returning the smile he gives her. JOSIE That it is. LEON Sorry I haven't gotten around to congratulating you in person yet. But, better late than never. It's good to see you back. The two share a handshake from over the desk. JOSIE Yeah, well, it's good to be back. Honestly, by the end of my last run this place was grating at my last frikkin' nerve. But I had some time away and..... yeah, it's good to be back, like I said. So, what did you want? LEON Honestly? Refuge. JOSIE I'm sorry? LEON You wouldn't believe how hectic things are right now. Leon sits down opposite Josie, who looks like she's got tons of better and more pressing things to do than listen to whatever Leon has to get off his chest. LEON I've got Maggie on my case wanting to talk, Melody keeps trying to grab a moment with me which isn't helping, I've got Shayne and Tyler... they're like my new GPX... and they're yammering on and on about the crush they've got on Krista, who by the way happens to be the biological mother of Jade who it turns out isn't my sister but infact my niece, which I only found out about a few weeks before she did. Go figure. Now Jade's trying to be Women's Champion, then there's Zack calling favours these past couple of weeks, I've got guys hitting on my girlfriend, guys attacking me with kendo sticks, there's a cut on my head won't close up properly because it keeps getting re-opened by somebody. Seriously, who'd have thought being a wrestler would be so stressful? Just give me the chance to entertain a few thousand people, whatever I make in merchandise sales in my paycheck every month and forget the rest, you know? You know me, I'm not the kinda guy to let things get on top of me. And things like this have been happening to me since I signed with the OAOAST. JOSIE Like when everyone found out you used to be a pornstar? LEON Exactly! Granted, nobody remembers that anymore. But... I don't know, I always had something to console myself with. Family, friends, fans, titles. It's just been relentless lately... Leon pauses for a second, then shakes it off. LEON Man, listen to me go on, huh? Hey, when I'm World Champion and $500,000 richer I'll be on easy street, so why even worry! Speaking of which... what's the deal with you and Moneymaker? Looking a little taken aback at the question and what it's implying, Josie sits up. JOSIE There is no 'deal' between me and Moneymaker. What are you talking about? LEON He was the one who backed you to get the job, right? JOSIE Yeah, so I heard. And? LEON Well, let's just say Moneymaker doesn't do anything unless it benefits him. Trust me, I know. If he went to bat for you, there's a reaso... JOSIE Maybe it's because he wanted a pretty face to look at while he bitched about this and that. Maybe if he spoke up for me it's because even despite the bullshit I had to put up with week in and week out last time, I still did a damn good job in charge of this place! I don't know. I barely know the guy. Listen, I appreciate the advice Leon but I ain't some bimbo with half a brain, like all these Nerdly girls you seem intent on working your way through. I'm the General Manager. On my own merits. Okay? And don't take this the wrong way, but as GM I don't really have the spare time to devote to listening to your personal problems all night like I used to, so maybe find 'refuge' here some other time when I'm not so busy please? I've gotta keep on top of things this time. Getting the message, Leon is up off his seat and halfway out the door. LEON No problem, we'll... we'll talk some other time. JOSIE I'd appreciate that. And with that Josie goes back to her General Manager work, leaving Leon to find his refuge elsewhere, after having run the gauntlet of people he doesn't want to bump into in the corridors of course. COACH The sign on the door says 'General Manager', not 'Agony Aunt'. Suckas take note. COLE Well Josie, proving it's not 2005 anymore. Leon will have to find some other time to shoot the breeze anyway, because he's got a Money In The Bank Tournament Quarter Final against Reject to concentrate on. And that's coming up in our main-event here tonight on HeldDOWN~! COACH Well, that'll be one less thing for him to stress about after tonight at least. COLE Right now, let's go backstage, where Josh Matthews is standing by with Sly Sommers and his protege, Cooper Riley... JOSH Thanks guys! I'm standing here with the miracle kid himself, Cooper Riley, and Sly Sommers, who has had a huge night and has a big match ahead of him at Angleslam... SLY Totally, bro. It's been a big week for both of us (looking at Cooper), eh? COOPER Absolutely, sir! But, I've been meaning to say something to you...I've been thinking and...I want to wrestle next week. SLY Well, good! You should be wrestling as often as possible to improve and learn! COOPER Yeah, yeah...Nathaniel Black doesn't have an opponent next week and I think I can take him! SLY WHAT?!?! Bro, bro...listen: last week was all grand and stuff, but we had to specially train for two weeks just to get you a flash win. You can't just wrestle guys as good as Phoenix and Black on that short of notice, not at the stage in the game that you are in. If you want to wrestle one of your little buddies from the school or something, I'll be more than happy to roll around with you at the school this weekend, maybe even get Zack or someone in to help too. But I can't give you permission or whatever to wrestle someone that good. Got it? COOPER Fine, fine. SLY Good. Now that that's out of the way...I don't really know if there's a way to train for the Devil's Playground match I'm having with Phoenix at Angleslam, where there's going to be a twenty-foot-high cell around the ring, barbed wire replacing the ropes, and lighttubes above the ring, but mentally, I'm ready to scar that bastard for life. No one screws with my trust like you did and take advantage of me when I wasn't prepared to fight. We're on equal ground now. I know how to evade your biggest weapon and our skill levels are at the highest of our careers. But, this ain't about skill. The only way to win this is to hurt the other guy so bad that he's incompacited and cannot walk out on his own two feet. I PROMISE I will hurt badly. I will bruise you, I will cut you, I will maim you. But of course, I expect you to bring that exact same fight to me. Josh, I know this could be the last match of both of our careers...and I'm ready to take that risk. What doesn't kill you will make you stronger...the issue with that is: I think one of us is going to die. (Sly walks away, Cooper stays behind) JOSH (Cooper pulls stapled-together papers out of his back pocket and a pen, starting to sign the papers) Cooper...what's that? COOPER (covers up the papers) Nothing, nothing...(zoom into a close-up on Cooper's face, shaking his head as he looks off into the distance) COLE What could've that have been he was signing? Well, regardless folks, we just want to let you know Mike Chioda is recovering from Moneymaker's attack earlier tonight, and will be available to referee tonight's mainevent between Leon Rodez and Reject! COMMERCIAL LATER TONIGHT SECOND ROUND MONEY IN THE BANK MATCH LEON RODEZ VS REJECT TONIGHT

As we return from commercial break, the arena is under attack from powerful swirling green and red strobe lights. The fans are on their feet, loudly chanting “MONEYMAKER SUCKS!”. But, the man himself is as cool and collected as one can be. He sits at sofa central, in a white dress shirt with the top five buttons undone, bootcut jeans, and Gucci sunglasses on his purposely unkempt hair. Hooray casual Thursdays! COLE Alright, folks, we are moments away from our first match of the Money In The Bank quarter finals, which puts Cuban Wall against Miss California Krista Isadora Duncan. And where there's Krista there has to be he who has the huge crush on her, Theodore Moneymaker. MONEYMAKER Cole, I'm rich, I drive nice cars, plural, I have huge houses, plural again I have luxurious condos, plural, I'm on TV, I'm tall, I'm dark, and I'm damn handsome. Not ruggedly handsome. Damn handsome. I would think a superficial homosexual like you would love me! BWHAHAHAHA! COLE You're easy on the eyes, hard on the ears. Now, before we start, your boys The Beverly Hills Blonds will be in a number one contenders match to determine who will meet ThunderKid and Reject at Angleslam later on. Any thoughts? MONEYMAKER Do we give thoughts on the sun rising in the east, and setting in the west? Do we give thoughts on the grass growing green? The sky shinning blue? Why give thoughts on something as inevitable as the world turning? D*LUX hasn't a chance, my friend. Not a chance. And before you ask me about Zack reforming the In Crowd, let me tell you this, if Sly, Bo, and Leon wish to make an honest days wage carrying Zack's bags, good for them, but while they're shinning the so-called franchise's boots, the real franchise of the OAOAST, me, will be out making major league moves that define this company. “I AM IRON MAN!” The dreary, ghoulish opening of Ozzy's classic brings out a river of boos from the Virgina audience. A thick fog envelops the entrance area, only broken by strobe lights as the hard guitar riffs rage on. Finally the incredible amount of fog is separated as Cuban Wall strides through it. The camera pans up his overpowering physique that's made even more meancing by the flickering white lights and forest of smoke. The audience takes in his long blue tights, his fingerless gloves, his Cuban flag bandanna, and his awful sneer. He cracks his knuckles but once before walking down the ramp. BUFFER The following quarter final match Money In The Bank contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of sixty minutes. Coming to the ring at this time. From Havana, Cuba. Weighing in at 285 pounds. He is the former Muscle for The Lightning Crew/Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation. a former One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion, AND the Winner of the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match…CUBANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! COLE We all know Krista's gaudy won-loss record, her ever growing winning streak, but will it hit a wall tonight, so to speak? Is Cuban Wall just too big, too mean and too much for her? Will he do to Krista what he did to Mad Cappa in the first round? COACH Yeah! Krista does this as a hobby, this is a little side thing, this is Wall's life, and he's got something to prove, something to do. He wants that belt on his waist, and off Tha Puerto Rican's. Homeboy says he deserves the gold, this is how he's gonna get it. It ain't wise to bet against Krista, but this is one time when you should! Cloaked in the darkness his erry entrance offers, Wall shadow boxes, and ignores the jeers of the audience in the background. He then enters the ring and glowers at referee Mike Chioda, who slowly backs away. While the frantic white spotlights bounce off his skin, the big man triumphantly throws his arm into the air. The gesture is met only with boos and disdain from the audience, but Wall still defiantly holds his hand into the air. MONEYMAKER I don't much care for Chioda as the referee of this contest. He's the same halfwit responsible for the travesty of Landon Maddix's advancing past a far superior athlete and human being in Christian Wright. COLE I suppose you'd rather have Clem Buzzlefoxer out here right? MONEYMAKER I respect my elders, Cole. I respect those elders who still strive to be a productive member of society, who don't whine and complain about medicare, and medicaid, and social security, and hand me this and hand me that because I'm wrinkled, and flabby, and I smell like Fabreeze and cod liver oil. Greatest generation my ass. If this what we owe them for winning world war II I would rather be goose stepping down the streets of Berlin! As Ironman fades away, its replaced by a resonating cheer of excited anticipation from the audience. Then the smooth yet funky synthesized melodies of MGMT's Electric Feel kicks in and the cheers grow ever louder as the fans rise to their feet. Shock me like an electric eel baby girl turn me on with your electric feel Ooh girl shock me like an electric eel baby girl turn me on with your electric feel The entrance stage is buried in a harmonious, almost sensual and enigmatic turquoise light. Silver sparkling snow begins to lightly rain down from the ceiling, glittering beautifully in the lighting. Disrupting this soft and airy feel is the flickering flooring of the stage, who's tiles alternate between blue, yellow, red, green and orange lights. On top of these tiles, are the usual bevy of gorgeous female dancers, all dressed as superhero's such as Wonder Woman, Jean Grey, Catwoman, Storm, etc. The girls perform a seductive dance, which mimics fighting moves while mixing them with slower ballet pair's movements. COLE Krista must've let Melody choreograph this thing. Standing at the height of the stage, at the center of everyone's attention, untouched by the downfall of the glitter is the always lovely, always semi drunk (as evidenced by the martini in her hand), Krista Isadora Duncan. The world famous celebrity has come dressed as The Invisible Woman, Sue Richards, in black platform boots and a dark blue body suit with the number four etched on the left chest. COLE Yeah Melody definitely choreographed this thing. MONEYMAKER Its nice to let the retarded children do something special. BUFFER And the opponent, from Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, a fitness queen, an inductee into The Hollywood Walk of Fame, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, the star of the VH1 reality show the look of love, the Angle Award winning female personality of the year, The other half of the Angle Award winning tag team of the year, she is Miss California Krista Isaodra Duncan! The entrance ramp has taken on the feel of a high class Paris runway, with red and black glitter carpeting it, and photojournalist positioned at the side to capture a picture of a smirking Krista's supermodel strut down the runaway. The silver glitter continues to rain from the ceiling, falling on everyone except for Krista. COLE Moneymaker, I know how obsessed you are with Krista, and you should really see D*LUX to talk about the pain of unrequited crushes on a lesbian. They actually wrote a song about it. Its called The Pain of unrequited crushes on a lesbian. MONEYMAKER Unbelievable the amount of crap I take from the mouth breathing mongs around here. You try to do a little good for the community- COLE What good have you ever done? You entrap the namesake of the company with a hooker, you routinely bully the most popular female on the roster, you tried to sabotage her walk of fame induction, you harass and attack every tag team that poses even a minor annoyance to you, you turned Jade's life upside down.. MONEYMAKER But I did it all with love. Krista's legs glide across the apron, then attach themselves to the third rope. She bends herself backwards to the audience's delight, but not her's as her martini is spilled. COLE Wall's old tag partner Vitamin X lost his job this past Thursday, but I doubt Wall has bothered to shed any tears. He's only focused on winning this match. DING DING DING After the opening bell rings Krista and Wall come face to face. Or face to chest. Or face to stomach really, and that's when she finally realizes that her foe for the fight is quite a bit larger than she is. To his arrogant amusement she raises her hand to punch him, yet falls well short of his chin. Even on platform boots and standing on tippy-toe she only manages to graze him with a slight blow. "Just give me one quick second, okay?" She mutters, frustrated. Krista doesn't bother to wait for answer from Wall or the referee, and retreats to the outside area. She ducks beneath the apron, which leads the crowd to murmur their confusion to one another. But their mystery is quickly solved, when Krissy reemerges with a step ladder. As they cheer her ingenuity, she slides into the ring with a smirk on her face. Drawing quizzical stares from Chioda and Wall alike, the blond bombshell unfolds her tool, and quickly scampers up it. COLE Hahah, shes gonna use a step ladder to hit Wall. MONEYMAKER No she isn't. Moneymaker must know Krista all to well, as she doesn't do anything remotely violent. She instead takes a tube of cherry flavored lip stick and begins gingerly applying the bright red stuff to Wall's forehead. Mystified by this unusual situation, Wall remains rooted on his massive boots. MONEYMAKER Why do they just stand there and let her harass them? She's not gonna compliment your teeth whitening, man, she's gonna humiliate you! "All finished." Krista exclaims and then motions for Wall turn around to face the video screens. Curious as to see what masterpiece Krista has canvased him with, the big man follows orders. "Look behind you?" He reads, in wonderment. "I can see behind me, there ain't nothin there!" For his refusal to follow simple orders, Wall is punished with a nauseating twirl and a rough crash landing into the mats from the a tornado version of the WWSDDT (write shit down DDT) "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" MONEYMAKER Cuban Wall, you deserved that. Wall figures Krista deserves a hellish beating for her jokes, and begins to rise with the intent on giving her one. But, the traffic stopping blond hinders this gruesome plan by upending the step ladder at Wall. Although he raises his beefy arm as a shield, the combined velocity of the chair and the shooting pain it inflicts hurl him over to the mats. "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" MONEYMAKER And you deserved that. Trying to keep the match from spiraling into Krista kicking furniture at her foe, the referee warns her about the possibility of a DQ. To which Krissy casually responds by scribbling a message onto his forehead. "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" Chioda reads her literary work on the video screen with dread, "STFU" MONEYMAKER And you deserved that. Krista decides the referee has taken her succinct hint, and returns her focus to her much larger rival. Wall, however, is well recovered from her chair swinging incident and tags her with a punch to the face. The blow staggers Krista, and fills her with worry over the damage he may have done to her gorgeous face. That preoccupation, is what allows Wall to slam his forearm across her back. Krista cries out in agony, and falls onto the ropes, where the audience gets a heart wrenching look at her anguished face. MONEYMAKER I'm not terribly comfortable with someone such as Cuban Wall being on the TSM board. I think after he crushes Krista's bones into dust I'll assassinate him. Don't give me that look, Cole, I'm not going to shoot him, just going to have him stabbed a few times. Wall latches onto her lush golden hair, and twists her so that she faces him. As a snarl forms on his lips, he throws his elbow into her face. Its an attack that nearly launches the crowd favorite over the ropes, but she clutches her arms around them and remains grounded. That grip on the cables does not, however, prevent Wall from latching onto her wrist and chucking her across the ring. As she treks across the canvas, the thickset brawler plods behind her. He should've picked up the pace, though; when KID returns her leather clad legs devastate him with a spinning wheel kick! As if that weren't enough to pop the sold out crowd, Krista turns to Moneymaker to offer him a heartfelt middle finger. Leaving the billion dollar heir to stew behind the announce table, Miss California twirls her body in the air and wows the audience with a standing shooting star leg drop. Chioda drops to his knees to count the fall.. ONE! Wall kicks out with such power that the walk of famer is catapulted through the air. Fortunately she lands on her feet, and as Wall gets to his, she scrambles his brains with an enziguri! The audience explodes with more cheers for her latest show of agility. But, Krista plays it casual and cool, merely flipping her lovely hair as she attempts a second pinfall... ONE! Again Wall kicks out with his near supernatural power. And once more, Krista is sent ripping through the air, and this time she's launched through the ropes. But a catastrophic crash is avoided as the fitness queen lands perfectly on her platform boots. The audience loudly applauds her display of dexterity. "Yeah, I know, its a miracle. But not as good a one as when I bit into the draddle at hebrew school and it was chocolate. I just wanted lead poisoning to get out of playing Hebrew deal or no deal, or Brit or Lo Brit. Krista slides back onto the apron, and through the use of the ring ropes takes to the air. With her long legs extended she flies right at the big man, who's backing away. Her boots track him down and slam into his chest with full force and he's launched backwards coming down in a mammoth heap that rocks the ring to its core. Despite what looked to be a wicked drop onto the mat, Wall immediately springs upright and pastes Krista with a forearm to the neck. Knocked short of breath, Miss California is unable to stop Wall from throwing her across the ring with an Irish whip. But, when she returns she is able to stop him from mangling her with a lariat by casually saying, "You can't hit me. I'm invisible." "What?" "I'm invisible." "I can see you." "No you can't. I'm invisible. Invisible woman, remember." "Oh...damn, my bad. Sorry" Wall laments and actually walks away. That action goes from foolish to painfully foolish, as Krista jumps into the air, grabs onto the back of his bandanna and drives him face first into the canvas! For the first time in the match, Krista has Wall in true pain, and he writhes about with agony scalding his face. MONEYMAKER (with his head in his hands) Lord, when will it end? When will your humble servant finally be free? For a floored Cuban Wall the end can't come soon enough, as now Krista has trapped his giant-sized head between her powerful legs. This isn't nearly as wonderful a position as it sounds; the SoCal babe proceeds to shatter every bone in his face by going through a push up routine. Every time she lowers her body his face is smashed against the rock solid canvas, and the audience cheers madly. "THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT!" She shouts over the sound of Wall's face thudding into the mat. "NINE! TEN! Only eight hundred seventy two more to go." COLE Those are fifteen million dollar legs that are breaking your nose, Cuban Wall, you should be honored. COACH Legs insured for fifteen million dollars. Yo, if dude's nose really is broken, we ain't got no money to fix it. I bet they'll throw him some duct tape and a half full tube of Elmer's. A shout of desperation bellows from Wall's throat, as he reaches out to grab hold of the bottom rope. The referee calls for Krista to release her grip from Wall's noggin, and she does so but not before giving it one final meeting with the mat. Wall is weakened and wearied from the assault, and rolls beneath the ropes to recover on the outside. This does not set "CUBAN PUSSY! CUBAN PUSSY! CUBAN PUSSY!" COACH Sickening! Does that man look like a pussy to you?! The brute ignores the insults of the audience, as he plods about the outside area. Even the more vulgar putdowns of the front row audience members can't gain his notice. In fact the only thing that gains his attention is the diving corkscrew moonsault Krista aims at him. Though he tries to quickly jerk himself out the way, his gigantic frame thwarts his escape effort and the blond beauty slams through him, toppling him over. "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" MONEYMAKER Good god, why I do even come out here anymore? COACH Don't feel bad, sir, Doctor Doom never beats the Fantastic Four either. MONEYMAKER I've always thought of myself as a Tony Stark. Handsome, intelligent, philanthropic. COLE When have you ever given a dime to charity? MONEYMAKER Just this Sunday I made a generous $131,000 dollar donation to the Mercedes-Benz of Miami. Is it my fault an S-Class showed up in my driveway the next morning? Krista pays the referee's count no mind, as she leads Wall off the mats by his bandanna. She hastily motions the audience to back away for their safety, and once they oblige, she rams the monster's face into the guardrail. The steel structure vibrates as though a wrecking ball was brought to it, and the nearby audience members loudly applaud the carnage. A grunting Wall stumbles away from the guardrail. Through his blurred vision, he gets a read on Krista and attempts to strike back at her with a left cross. "No, no, honey. I have the psionic forcefield up." "Damn, I'm sorry....wait a damn minute!" Wall hollers then raises his fist to thrash the Invisible Woman. But suddenly Wall goes teetering into the ring apron, where his hands go up to nurse his sore face. The cause of his current malady lies at his feet, a ThunderKid bobblehead thrown at him by a fan. "Bobble head, psionic forcefiled, what's the difference?" Krista wonders then charges at her rival. However, Wall summons his considerable strength to wrap his hands around her sylphlike waist and throw her into the air. The foxy mommy counters this by placing her hands onto the ring apron, and flipping herself towards the ropes. As she hits the cables, they bounce her back downwards. She catches hold of Wall's head, and spikes it off the paper thin ring mats with a DDT. Flat on his back the Cuban lets a frustrated groan escape his lips while the audience gives Krista's dominance a large ovation. Krista follows this devastating hold up by....borrowing a little girl's Hannah Montana brush and fixing up her hair. COLE Lord don't strike me with lightening for saying this, but you're a good looking guy Moneymaker, you could find someone quick. Why obsess over Krista, I know a cute guy named De'Anthony, he was dancer in "Ain't no other man", an extra in Stomp The Yard, an Abercrombie model, and a backup singer for Janet Jackson. MONEYMAKER Argh! COLE He has season tickets to the Buccaneers. MONEYMAKER It can't hurt to call him. Wall is sharply aware that keeping the fight outside the ring plays into Krista's unorthodox methods. And so, the former muscle of the Lightening Crew rolls back into the ring in hopes of finally claiming the advantage in the match. Krista follows Wall into the ring, and demands he stands up. When he does rise to his redwood like six feet and seven inches, she charges forward. But Wall again wraps his hand around her waist and throws her high into the sky. She comes down throat first against the ring cables, a treacherous landing that knocks the breath right out of her and smokes her vision to blackness. She bounces backwards as though she were shot out of a cannon and splatters across the canvas. What would delight any other opponent, only draws out a small sneer from Wall. "First the doctor finds blood in my alchol and now this." Krista complains with a voice broken by her wounded throat. "Don't you mean..." the ref begins. "No, honey, I don't." Comes her reply, as she fails to notice Wall looming behind her. Of course she's made painfully aware of the big man's presence when he grabs on tight to her lush hair and rips her off the mat. He takes hold of her arm, and yanks her forward to mow her down with a short arm lariat. The shot connects right with her injured throat, and the moment she hits the ground is the moment she begins hacking and wheezing. Wall merely circles her, sneering like he always does, plotting out his next vile move. COACH Lemme keep it funky for ya, Wall is mounting a comeback. Dude is on a mission to prove himself. This is a real wrestler's tournament, see. Krista ain't a real wrestler. COLE If Krista is The Invisible Woman, you gotta be Mr.Fantastic, 'cause you're stretchin! Wall grabs Krista by her wrist and drags her back towards the center of the ring. She screams hoarsely and she tries to fight back, but the strength of the Havana native is far too much for the walk of famer to overcome. He drags her to her feet, letting her limply stagger in place before he puts her back on the ground with another short arm lariat. As the audience recoils in horror, Krista paws at her throat, trying to do anything to calm the horrible pain. But, that pain turns into something even more terrifying when Wall sandwiches her neck between the bottom ropes and his forearm. Her croaking cries are barely heard over the jeering of the fans and the count of Chioda, but its enough to bring the slightest smile to Wall's face. "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" Finally Wall let's Krista go free, but then turns his attention to cursing the referee for counting down his hold too quickly. After he's finished with the official he returns his focus to Krista, grabbing onto her leather leggings and her twisting her over so that she now lies back first across the bottom cables. The fans and the referee beg him not to do what they think he's about to do, but Wall refuses to listen and falls backwards. This brings Krista up until her neck brutally collides with the second rope. She sags down to the canvas, all the life and color in her skin seemingly hauled out of it by that one miserable attack. She rolls across the canvas, coughing violently in her effort to regain her breath. MONEYMAKER Why is god so good to me? Great hair, high cheek bones, wash board abs, American Express black card, Gucci watches, and now my worst enemy being beaten by the exact type of person her hippy kind allowed into this country. It'd be even better if one of those Iraqis murders her kind begged us not to go to war against blew up her house. Or at least kidnapped her dog. Wall treks to her slowly as she nears the ropes, glaring at her with his trademark scowl. He drops to his knees, and envelopes his huge hands across his her head, her hair spilling through his fingers. He brings her neck up into the ropes, while firing a deathly glare into her tear filled eyes. Chioda and the fans complain about Wall's ill treatment of Krista, but nothing they say will pry him away from tormenting the beloved celebrity. "Come on, Wall, let her go, or the match is over for you!" the ref yells. Begrudgingly. Very begrudgingly, the foreign ogre releases his grip on her. Krista curls up into a ball, her entire world feeling as though its still be slowly choked away. Above her miserable position, Wall and the referee continue to argue over his tactics, with Wall insisting he has a five count to work with. MONEYMAKER Its sad. The referees here have their favorites. COLE Just like certain general managers. MONEYMAKER Just like certain announcers have their favorite gas station glory holes. Could it be time for another Too Catch A Predator? Bringing “The Invisible Woman” up by the back of her neck, Wall forces her into the nearby corner. He grins with a devilish amusement at her suffering, and then adds to it by throwing his elbow into her pretty face. The blow is so powerful that it drops the weakened fitness queen against the second rope. That result is rather pleasing to PRL'S former muscle, and he takes another shot at Krista's face. She sinks down to the canvas, where a third shot leaves her dazed and only semi-conscious. COACH This is lookin a lot like Jade against Malaysia right now, only difference is, Krista still is probably gonna come back. Jade got that ass jacked up! As the fans deride him with taunts and insults, he leads their beloved heroine off the mat and leads her towards the center of the ring. Unfortunately for Wall, Krista finds her second wind and lashes him with a kick to the left leg. Another one to the fight follows, and a thrid one to the left leaves him weak on his knees. That's perfect for Krista, who leaps into the air and twists her body around to plant her boot into his expansive chest! "YEAAAAA!" the crowd screams, even though the kicks weren't able to floor the giant. COLE Those four kicks were Fantastic! A Fantastic Four! MONEYMAKER Wow. Just wow. Are you actually collecting a paycheck? Do you just have squatter's right on this announce table and that's why they let you on here? Krista trots to the ropes, eager to find some offensive attack that will put her rival down for a three count. As she returns she takes to the air, seeking to get Wall with an inverted lung blower. But, he moves with stunning quickness and traps her into a lethal bear hug. The audience moans with dread, absent of the confidence that Krista will be able to escape Wall's clutches. MONEYMAKER Its over, its over, its over. Believe you that. I don't care if she wins all the time, I don't care if she won greco roman wrestling at the 776 BC Olympics, this man has huge fat arms, and she is a little thin lady. Physics, man, physics. COACH Word up, sir! Her little Screen Actors Guild don't teach a course on how to escape things like this! For once one of Moneymaker's grandoise predictions seems to be on the verge of coming to fruition, as Krista is already fading within Wall's grip. The audience is on their feet, imploring their girl to battle out of the hold, but their are scant few signs of life from the fitness queen. COLE At six feet seven, Cuban Wall squeezing the life out of five foot ten Krista Isaodra Duncan. There are going to be some very mad agents and producers if anything happens to Krista. "LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!" the crowd bleats, stamping their feet in small hopes that will somehow grant her the strength to continue to fight. What their chants do is greatly aggravate Wall, and he roars in a primal fury. The referee hovers around the submission, constantly checking to see if Krista wishes to submit. Though she says no, the exhausted look on her face says that she may be nearer to the end then she let's on. COACH Ain't that a bizzile. Krista Isadora Duncan, unbeatable woman, about to give up. I blame Jade, she done poisoned a bitch's gene pool. Like Stephen Baldwin. Anyway, they probably got her a dressing room full of masseuses, reiki healers, and all kinds up crap while Biff Atlas gotta change in a homeless shelter. Krista knows she hasn't a prayer of fighting her way out of Wall's bear like strength, and so must take a more unorthodox route to win her freedom. "Honey, if you don't let me go, I'll shoot powerful beams of ruby red colored concussive force beams at you and reduce your head to space dust." "You can't do that." "Wanna test me?" No, Wall certainly does not and hastily releases Krista before she can shoot beams from her eyes into his skull. MONEYMAKER (hands in head) Good lord, beams from the eyes isn't Sue Richards, its not even The Fantastic Four. What am I saying, she's not even a superhero, she is just wearing a costume! I think I need a bottle of scotch. Several. Realizing that he's made another grievous error on Krista's super powered status, Wall attempts to correct his gaffe with a big boot. However, the sexy GLAADiator avoids the lurching strike by rolling beneath his leg. She pops up behind him and takes advantage of his ponderous speed, by leaping into his back and pulling him down with a lung blower! YEAAAAA! "Owwww!" Krista shouts, realizing that dropping a 285 pounder across her legs was not such a good idea. COACH What's she complaining about? If anything happens to those legs she gets fifteen million. Shit, I'd Tanya Harding my whole body if I could get enough to get a PS3. Wall is clearly winded by Krista's surprising strike, while The Blonde Bombshell tries to massage her weakened legs and recover from the harrowing bear hug. With that Chioda is forced to begin counting both grapplers out, which makes the audience none to pleased. As he performs his count, the spectators urge Krista to rise to her feet and claim her money in the bank victory. "ONE!" "TWO! "THREE!" COLE If this count gets to ten then I guess Reject or Leon Rodez have a free ride to the tournament finals at Angleslam! But that count won't reach three; both competitors begin to stir and make a groggy ascent to their feet. Krista strikes with first spinning slap that angers Wall more than it hurts him. Not aware, that she's outraged the 6'7 animal, Krissy runs to the ropes. But the moment she begins her return towards Wall, he cuts the distance between them and drives her down with a diving shoulder block! "BOOOOOO!" Both competitors are again strewn across the canvas, appearing like they've been on the worst ends of an interstate car wreck. But, Wall, with his incredible strength and durability is already crawling across the ring. The referee follows him, wanting to know if he wishes to continue the match. Wall grunts yes, and drags himself off the canavas, daring Krista to do the same. She calls on the support of the audience to give her strength, and manages to step upright. But even after doing that all she does is clumsily stagger towards a waiting Wall. The bruiser pounces on her immediately and chucks her into the ring posts. She crashes into the cold steel shoulder first, sending a heartrending clang throughout the entire arena. The ring vibrates violently from the force Wall's throw and Krista is dumped to the outside, where her head endures an awkward crunch against the ring mats. The fans look on in worry and fight, but Wall only displays his ever present sneer. MONEYMAKER What the big guy is doing Krista, is precisely what The Blonds are going to do to D*LUX, unless they've gone into a coma from watching this thing. BWHAHAHA! Krista lies on her back, struggling to even remember where she is much less make any attempt to stand. But, she'd be wise to jog her memory, and get upright mighty quickly, as Wall exits the ring and marches towards her position. He gazes at her with a preadatory snarl, and then drives the underside of her boot across his face. hat brings out a torrent of jeers from the audience, and when he repeats the attack, the fans' hatred burns even brighter and is shouted even louder. Chioda is once more forced to level a warning against Wall. Such cautions fall on death ears, and the monster pummels the greatly fatigued lady. "K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!" Wall scrapes Krista off the canvas, and roughly dumps her into the ring. He rolls back in with his eyes gleaming a feral fire. As Krista still struggles to regain her wits, he further afflicts her with a running stomp straight to the head. She can barely move, unable to do anything besides tremble from the misery that's been inflicted on her. Wall figures he's done enough to damage to Krista, and goes for a pinfall... ONE! TWO! But, Krista shoots her shoulder off the canvas. The OAOAST faithful are delighted. Wall noticeably less so. And he grabs Krista by the collar of her bodysuit and hauls her off the canvas. He bulldozes her into the corner, where she still remains but a lifeless husk barely able to stand. Thus Wall sees this as the perfect opportunity to rush her with an avalanche. His titanic figure plows into her svelte frame, and the reaction of the audience is a horrified one, fearing for Krista's health. And as she sinks to the canvas, short of breath and of life, they have every reason to be worried. Wall is, of course, unsympathetic to her physical plight and proceeds to maim her with brutish stomps and punches. MONEYMAKER I bet she wishes she was Nightcrawler so he could teleport the hell outta here! BWHAHAHAHA! These strikes are so savage that the referee has to interject himself on Krista's behalf. But his meager 130 pounds are nothing to constrain the beast, and he continues to assail Krista with punches that have more then a few audience members in tears. One more time, Chioda tries to get between Wall and his victim, and he again fails, with Krista paying the horrible price for his ineffectiveness. "K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!" In what has to be a minor miracle, the official successfully warns off Wall from his target, but receives a quite the vulgar dressing down for doing so. "God," Krista mutters "If you let me live through this, I promise I'll dedicate my life to serving you and spreading your good word." And suddenly as if by some holy act, Krista gets to her feet. She charges at Wall, currently distracted by his onesided argument with the referee and drills him in the chin with a running knee! Wall timbers to the canvas like a fallen tree, and the reaction to his downfall is defaning. "Fooled you, fell for it again" She remarks, looking up to the heavens. MONEYMAKER That damned referee! As Wall begins to rise, outraged by Krista's show of life, the Los Angelenia heads to the ropes. When she reaches Wall, she nails him with a second high knee lift! She rushes back towards the cables, timing her return perfectly so that she strikes her foe with a third knee lift as he stands. She then repeats the same sequence to loosen half his teeth with a fourth and final knee lift. COLE Krista with not an outstanding one, not a tremendeous two, not a thrilling three, but a Fantastic Four knee lifts! MONEYMAKER I think if I was a superhero I'd like to be Wolverine. So I could cut your balls off. COLE You're lucky you're handsome, otherwise you'd be very annoying. With Wall momentarily flattened and the fans singing her name, everyone's favorite covergirl sprints to the edge of the ring, and jumps onto the highest cable. The rope serves as a springboard, shooting her corckscrew moonsaulting figure back towards her fallen foe. She impacts preciesley on his wide chest, earning a gargantuan amount of cheers from the sold out crowd. These same audience members count along with her pivotal pinfall... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! Wall powers out of the pin, and the fans who were ready to celebrate Krista's victory are stunned with disgust. MONEYMAKER Jesus Christ in a taxi cab, this isn't good for my hyper tension. Cuban Wall if you have any hopes of writing your place in OAOAST history now is the time! With much haste Wall scampers upright, looking to get Krista back under his dreadful control. But the speedy babe keeps on giving him fiits, this time she leaps onto the third rope then springboards off it with a dropkick that sees her platform heels find their mark on his not-so hot face. Having not bothered to block the blow, Wall is knocked senseless and thrown over the ropes. Although his feet touch the ground first, he's unable to maintain his balance thanks in no small part to Krista torpedoing herself through the ropes and smashing her shoulder into Wall's face! "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" The audience's pleasant mood is maddingly short, however, as Wall has somehow managed to work his way back upright. Having gotten on God's bad side already, KID can't ask for any miracles, and so instead tries to to ram Wall's head into the nearby ring steps. But, the big man is mostly recovered from his spill to the outside, and uses his regained strength to hurl her near the time keeper. Krista goes haphazardly skidding across the floor, finally coming to an abrupt but painless stop when she slides into Buffer's leg. "Mind if I take a seat, honey?" She asks the announcer, who looks back her with a curious expression. Elsewhere, Wall and Chioda are locked into another argument, with the referee asserting that Wall needs to get back into the ring and respect his position as OAOAST official. Wall is defiant, again throwing out a bombardment of vulgarities at the referee. "You, god damn retard, just shut the hell up, why dontcha! You don't..." BAM! KRISTA THROWS A CHAIR AT WALL! MONEYMAKER IHOLY CRAP! She can't do that! That's a disqualification! You horrible witch, you horrible witch! I promise you... BAM! KRISTA THROWS A CHAIR AT MONEYMAKER! COACH That bitch! She knocked out Mister Moneymaker! How could you? BAM! KRISTA THROWS A CHAIR AT COACH! COLE ...... "Smart man." Krista mutters. "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" Alas, this latest celebration is as short lived as the ones previous due to emergence of CPA, clad in a white suit, from the stands. He hops the barricade and before Krista is even properly aware of his presence, the former boxer is throwing her under a cannonade of punches. COLE The Enterprise head of security, one half of V.I.C.E coming out to aid his fallen boss, and make sure Krista doesn't make it out this second round! The exasperated look on Krista's face informs CPA that he's weakened her enough to finish her off with his dominator. Thus he lifts her limp body up and drapes it across his shoulder, as the audience peppers him with boos. But those ill feelings change into much joy, as the golden haired hottie slithers down his back to avoid the deathly finisher. In order to avoid the deathly lariat Wall is aiming at her back, she pulls CPA in front of her and the Enterprise heavy is lacerated by Wall's powerful attack. "YEAAAAAA!" Wall isn't overly concerned with his disfiguring of Moneymaker's trusted goon, and instead slides into the ring to try and return this match to even footing. Krista enters the ring with momentum on her side and running boot aimed at her face. Fortunately the GLAADiator is one step ahead of her foe, and smashes his face with a crowd thrilling dropsault! As he teeters on his feet, in danger of falling over, Krista speeds to the ropes. Upon bouncing back her leather covered legs try to scissor themselves across his waist. While he succeeds in that, Wall takes control of the exchange by grabbing her legs flipping her out into a rear waistlock. He then tries to launch her into the next county with a german suplex! But the four time tag champ gracefully backflips her way out of disaster. She rushes back towards a still recovering Wall, to trap her arms across his chin. This draws a mammoth pop from the audience, and its one that grows even louder when she executes a... COLE A FANTASTIC Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one! The audience's cheers could level the arena to its very foundation as Krista hooks onto Wall's leg for a crucial pin... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! DING DING DING MGMT's “Electric Feel” returns to the arena, but its tough to hear over the gigantic cheer of the audience. Wall lies on the mat, only vaguely aware of the fact that his Money In The Bank dreams are at an end. BUFFER The winner...and advancing to the semi-finals of the Money In The Bank tournament to face the winner of Reject and Leon Rodez...KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN The gargantuan cheers from the stands continue as Krista celebrates with nothing more than casual smirk and a sip from a martini. This super cool celebration is captured by literally thousands of camera flashes from photojournalist and fan alike. For whatever reason the view switches from that of one people's most beautiful people, to the rat faced announcer, Michael Cole. COLE Krista Isadora Duncan has done it! Another victory in a long of line of them for the walk of famer and now she is one win away from the money in the bank finals at Angleslam! But who will she face? One half of the tag team champions, or will it be the very interesting matchup against Leon Rodez? We see Moneymaker slither upright, draping himself over the table, looking as though he's being ran ragged by a monster hangover. MONEYMAKER Th..th..that music? COLE Welcome back, sleeping beauty. MONEYMAKER Is Krista's match starting now? COLE Starting? Its already over! MONEYMAKER Ov...over? COLE Krista won! Suddenly, Moneymaker's memory seems to have been jogged. He becomes aware of the situation that allowed Krista to capture the victory, and the man who allowed it. Mike Chioda MONEYMAKER I see. Chioda, who is in a discussion with Michael Buffer, finds his conversation interrupted by Moneymaker's hands around his collar. The now panic riddled referee would very much like to know what Moneymaker has in store for him. Fire that flashes in his eyes, tells him its certainly nothing good. The billion dollar heir shows him that's its nothing good, as he belts the official in the stomach! COLE Oh, come on! He hit a referee! Twice. As Chioda begins sagging to the ground, Moneymaker helps speed up his descent with an uppercut that slams against his jaw. Just as soon as Chioda's lifeless bloody mouth tastes the concrete, does Moneymaker finish him off with several stomps. COLE This is insane! I bet Josie won't even fine him for this. I doubt he even gets a warning. Now, the floridian totally disregard him. Instead the corrupt tycoon locks his attention onto Krista. Within seconds he launches the ring bell at her. Though he wished to catch her unawares, KID, easily avoids his throw without spilling a drop of her martini. She then does the only logical thing, and throws it back at him! COLE Oh my! Moneymaker responds by picking up a TV monitor and throwing it at her. And she throws it back at him. And he throws Cole's glass of water at her. And she throws it back at him. And he throws a little kid's Heartland Title replica belt at her. And she throws it back at him. And we go to commercial with Moneymaker angrily hurling things at Krista, and her sipping on her martini and tossing them back with a casual cool. COMMERCIAL

Only two matches are missing so that's enough to post the show where I come from. Would have graphics for other matches, but alas and alack, computer is dead for now, and I don't really wanna fix it either.

yo, zackie, if you read this, do you want the opening for your BIG ASS segment? People, it is indeed very big.

Before the opening credits even rolled we encountered trouble. A seemingly mundane parking lot was thrown into a noisy chaos by a black Chevy Tahoe with with gaudy orange flames painted down the side. It just so happened that Josh Matthews was attempting to pee on Tony Brannigan's car when the massive auto rolled onto the scene. So our intrepid interviewer cut short his golden gift to the former world champ, and attempted to find out who was in the car. None other than the Compton PD stepped out of Chevrolet's urban assault vehicle. It was obvious the two men were looking for a fight, and anyone with a firm hold of their senses would have been wise to give them a wide breadth. But years of working in the OAOAST has eroded Josh's common sense, and he foolishly asked what the Compton PD were planning on doing tonight. They answered "Beat someone's ass, starting with the first person they see. Chuckling, Josh replied, "Boy howdy, do I feel soooooo sorry for that sucker...Oh shit!" Oh shit, indeed, as that's an accurate description of what was running down Josh's leg the moment the gangbangers threw him against the car door. Thankfully, or unthankfully depending on your taste in interviewer's, The All American Boys rushed onto the scene to aid poor Josh. You know you're unpopular when on a roster of a 100+ the AAB's are making your saves. Regardless, Freedom and Liberty informed the Compton PD that while they were happy to have the two as coworkers, the OAOASTs goes by a code of honor, and they just violated it. Unimpressed by the AAB's boy scout act, The PD retorted that they have a code of the streets and the AAB's just violated it. Without waiting for a reply the PD jumped the AAB's and fisticuffmanship was afoot! That is until security rushed onto the scene and broke up the fight. Where were they when Josh was tinkling on Tony's car? Anyway, acting on behalf of Josie, Sophie appeared to announce the mainevent for the night was to be the AAB's Vs The Compton PD. At least that's what people thought. She speaks in french, and half these dudes can barely even speak proper english. Brought to you by American Express Taped: Uh...some time after the BAS First air date: Umm, whatever this past saturday was. I'm not really good with the days of the week thingie Announce team: Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura Lead correspondent: Tony Brannigan On this edition of Syndicated EMT Tim Cash embarks on a singles career which is sure to last until we turn him into Los Diablos leather slave, Cuban Wall speaks on his upcoming Money In The Bank match with Krista, Simon Singleton tries to earn some revenge for his stablemate Christian Wright against James Blonde. The Love Doctors go against hungry rookies The Last Kings Of Scotland, seriously they haven't been fed in two weeks! Thank you, thank you! And The All American Boys meet up with The Compton PD. EMT Tim Cash Vs Waldo The typically pedestrian entrance of Waldo was given a little flair, and a lot of ickiness as Luther and Marino trailed him with a cart full of STINK BUGS. Nasty, filthy, foul stink bugs. Before Cash made his arrival, Waldo explained his unusual and grotesque ringside accompaniment. He stated that Cash, fresh off being dumped as "Bosley's boytoy" was no threat to him and that he'd begin a new era for The B. Boys by beating the Peroian in record time. To prove how confident he was in his bold prediction he promised to eat every one of the stink bugs should he lose. Seconds into the match it looked like Waldo might need a whole lot of tic tacs as Cash rolled him up off a body slam attempt for a surprise pin. Although, Waldo kicked out of the pinfall, his misfortunes continued as the EMT steamrolled him with a trio of lariats. Fearful of a possible concussion as well as the nausea ingesting a thousand stink bugs might induce, Waldo attempted to retreat to the outside area. But, Cash prohibited his escape with a running elbow drop and proceeded to overwhelm him with moves designed to weaken him in preparation for The Midwestern Sling (texas cloverleaf). Waldo appeared to gain some small advantage when he countered a DDT by shoving the EMT into the ropes. But as he came off the cables himself, the midwesterner twisted and twirled him into a devastating tilt a whirl back breaker. That was the perfect set up for the Midwest Sling. Though, Waldo gave up the second the hold was applied, his submission was not noticed by a referee that was distracted by Luther and Mariano. The meddling of Waldo's cohorts was but a minor issue for Timmy C., and the good-guy ended the pair's night with two well placed elbows. The distraction of Luther and Mariano gave Waldo the chance he needed to make a last ditch effort to preserve this match. He charged at Cash with an elbow smash, but only met a boot to the stomach for his troubles. Cash grabbed onto his legs, dropped him to the mat, and earned an easy submission with a Midwest Sling! Winner: EMT Tim Cash, via submission With Cash's trouble free victory in the books, the question then became should he stand by to pump Waldo's stomach after he goes into convulsions from eating STINK BUGS. Not if Quincy could help it. The remaining Burrough Boy slid into the ring and took Cash by surprise with a swift shot to the head from a chain wrapped fist. Cash hadn't a chance to fight back before Quincy began raining down ruthless punches upon his face. Quincy realized that security would soon be on the way to rescue the EMT. Thus he moved quickly to execute the most cruel portion of his plan. He lifted Cash up by the seat of his pants and chucked him over the ropes, causing him to take a terrible plummet into the cart full of stink bugs. And after his athletic frame squashed several hundred of them, Cash and anyone within 200 feet found out why they're called stink bugs. SHOTS FIRED. And while stage hands rushed to the store to empty their air freshener aisle and jack up Lysol's stock by several dollars, the show went to break. Tony Brannigan, apparently unaware that his car is now in need of a Exxon deluxe wash, stood atop the interview stage with Cuban Wall. The former 24/7 champion was there to give his thoughts on his second round money in the bank match with Krista Isadora Duncan. Wall said he wouldn't be phased by her antics, her celebrity, the pageantry that goes with wrestling her, or her record so impressive it makes the 60-8 Montreal Canadiens from the 76-77 season look like today's San Francisco Giants, because he's solely focused on winning the tournament and getting his hands on the world title. When asked what he'd do if he eliminated Krista to get 15% of Theodore Moneymaker's shares in TSM, and won the tournament to get a world title shot along with half a million dollars, Wall said he'd crush PRL for the title, use the shares in TSM to ban PRL from the network, and then finally use the half a million to buy as many wrestling companies as he can and make sure PRL never works in the country again. Just a little bit bitter, that's all. In the Enterprise dressing room, Mackenzie DeCenzo was lightly grilling Simon Singleton over why he didn't come to Christian's aid when James Blonde had pinned down Moneymaker, stopping him from ending Landon Maddix's match deciding pinfall. Simon, of course, had no decent answer, so he did the old "look over there, its Angelina Jolie, naked and encrusted in diamonds and chocolate" routine and ran away. Right into the dressing room wall. Mackenzie regarded the semi-KO'ed Simon with a mixture of pity and indegestion, and told him just to make good by beating Blonde tonight. When Simon asked why Molly didn't stand up for him she whined "Mackie has to sign my intern time sheet!" James Blonde Vs Box Office Simon Singleton W/Molly Nerdly Stable warfare, continued with Simon Singleton being called upon to punish James Blonde for his role in the MITB bout between Landon Maddix and Christian. The contest began with a pedestrian feeling out process, with neither man wanting to commit a match costing error. Eventually Singleton grew bored of the overly cautious pacing and began assailing his foe with knife edge chops. Blonde had no answer for the lightening fast attacks, allowing Double S to move onto the more damaging attacks. However, Blonde was able to block a running enziguri, and nail his foe with a modified Samoan drop. This put him on even ground with the three time tag team champion, and the two traded holds and near falls, with Simon almost rolling Blonde up into defeat with a school boy off a countered flapjack. The Canadian then gained the advantage when he stunned Singleton with a springboard lariat. From there, Blonde slowed the pace of the match to a crawl with a rear chinlock designed to do whatever it is a rear chinlock is supposed to do. I have no real clue. Anyways, after nearly twenty seconds of inactivity, BOSS powered out of Blonde's hold. The two went back to trading blows, but it was Blonde who took an easy upper hand, knocking Singleton senseless with a running knee followed by a swinging neckbreaker. As those two moves worked so well, he decided to try them one more time. But upon reaching the ropes, his ankles were held onto by Molly, in much the same way he held onto Moneymaker's ankles at BAS. Not bothering to appreciate the irony of the situation, Singleton snuck behind Blonde and rolled him up 1-2-3! Winner: Simon Singleton via pinfall Post match, Maggie Nerdly caught up with Simon. Ignoring Molly's comments about her "fang" like teeth, Maggie asked Simon what his prediction was for the BHB's tag team match against D*LUX. He said he and Ned would easily walk all over the teen idols, and do what no one in any current stable could ever dream to do, become four time tag team champions. Molly finished the interview by noting that the sun was going down, so it should be safe for Maggie to go outside without her skin melting. See her teeth look like a vampire and vampires they...ahh never mind! A double dose of wrestling's cutest interviewer! After break Maggie was backstage with James Riggs, Felix Strutter and Reggie Lamont. The topic of conversation was of course Riggs' unprovoked attack on Denzel Spencer during his match with Lamont. Riggs was nonchalant about his dastardly interference, saying he was simply doing what it takes to survive in the OAOAST. He felt that in order to make it in the company, one needs people who have your back. Thus when he saw an opportunity to gain some allies, he took it. For their part Lamont and Strutter were happy to associate with anyone willing to help them torment Spencer, Jumbo and Deuce, and put them out the OAOAST for good. The Love Doctors Vs The Last Kings of Scotland The long awaited rematch from the last time KC wasn't too busy and I wasn't recovering from an overdose to post Syndicated! Early on it was doubtful if The LKS (we like acronyms for our tag teams) learned any thing from their previous contest with The Docs (BOO! no acronym!), as they repeated many of the same mistakes. Their over eagerness to claim a quick effortless victory caused many of their moves to be reversed, and they were often times punished by The Docs signature holds. Pigley, advertising his radio show on his tights, was in rare form, especially for a disc jockey, I'd like to see Casey Casem hit somebody with a running powerslam. However, Danny Boy was able to turn the tide towards his team with a springboard bulldog on Anderson after a blind tag. He and Scottish Scott worked over Anderson's arm, but were unable to maintain control for very long, as Anderson gave them both a noggin knocker off an irish whip and brought Pigley into the contest. The match then played out exactly as the last one did, with Danny Boy being laid out by the he Lovematic Grampa (Inverted Atomic Drop/Dropkick) and Scottish Scott having his night ruined by Defibrillator (Hart Attack Clothesline). That would've been enough to finish off the Scottish tag team, but hotties from Chitown had to wow their fans with the Gurney To The Centre Of The Earth onto Danny Boy. Winner: The Love Doctors. via pinfall. Post match The Docs delighted the lady's in the audience with a spicy dance routine. None to entertained were The LKS, as they stood outside screaming into the camera that they'd beat The Docs next time they faced each other. Not if I'm booking it! ***The Compton PD Vs The All American Boys*** This wasn't so much a match as it was a slaughter, as The PD got the jump on the good guys from the "heart's and soul of America's people" as they made their way down the entrance ramp. Thanks to the surprise attack, the AAB's were helpless to counter the brute strength of their aggressors. Though they got in a few good punches here and there, nothing they did could battle back the PD. The gangsta's mercifully finished off the AAB's with two B Boy Breakers, Cash Money performs the Neckface, while 9-Mill hits a Neckbreaker, playboy. Bitch stays DOWN, SON! Whatchu gonna do now? Punk bitch. coke head faggots. all your motherfuckers is haters. ya'll hatin on the Compton pd because you can't do like they do it, so fuck outta here cuz u weak like 7 dayz. Compton PD wanna give a shout out to they ballas Snooky, T-Real, Cali Fornicator, and BakInBlak, playboy. Los Angeles county, stand the fuck up! Long Beach, East LA, Inglewood, Culver City, Santa Clarita, Alhambra, we see you! HOLLA! EAST COAST NIGGAS GET THEY DOME SPLIT, THAT'S MA WORD, IM OUT TO BUY THE HILLS SEASON 3 ON DVD, AND I'D STILL 187 ALL YA'LL IN A MINUTE!

and so it is done, my children. let us have peace in our time.

dr.zoidberg wants to turn the sjpw cruiserweight title into an OAOAST title. he suggested Intercontinental or International which we done already did! I know we tried to clean up the title mess last year, but the belt is already there, no matter what the name. What say you to his call, citizens? Or, citizen, I really need only one person to say yes. I have a hard time telling ppl no.

eeee sketch. so are we green lighting dudes idea? I dunno if its gonna be a cruiserweight belt or not, like 149 said with that name change who knows. I could just ask. I'm pretty sure he can defend it on the regular for now, its at least involved in angle. I definitley understand what's being said about too many titles and I agree but like I said, its just gonna hang around as an SJPW belt if we say no. So its basically only a name change.

[For the sake of getting this posted ASAP and not delaying it any further, entrances have been omitted. I'm sure you guys can use your imagination (IMG:http://forums.thesmartmarks.com/style_emoticons/default/wink.gif) ]. The echo of the bell being rung hasn't even faded away yet, and already Black strikes with a forearm, catching Zack with his defenses down! Malibu fires back with one of his own, and after Black shakes it off the two lock up, pushing each other back and forth in an effort to gain the advantage. Black uses a go behind, but that's quickly countered by Zack into a go behind of his own, then he turns Black around and they tie up in a lockup again! Zack grabs a headlock, and when Black goes to shove him off he hangs on, not allowing himself to be sent away! Black counters again, lifting Zack up for a back suplex, but Zack floats over his foes back...only to be caught with a back elbow! Black then backs Zack into the ropes and fires him across, taking him to the canvas with a drop toehold! He snares Zack in a headlock and keeps him trapped as they come up to their feet, but unlike when Nathaniel tried before, Zack is able to shove him off...only to be floored with a shoulerblock on the rebound! Black hits the ropes and runs under a leapfrog from Malibu, who then takes him over with a hiptoss as he bounces off the far side! Zack reaches to pull him up, but Black kicks his legs up and knocks Zack down, and then both men come to a stalemate, as the crowd cheers wildly! COLE Great start by these two talented athletes, and listen to the fans, they're loving what they're seeing so far! The two lock up again, and Malibu quickly uses an inverted atomic drop to stun Black, then takes his legs out from under him, but misses the followup elbow drop! The two come up and Black fires off a pair of chops and a European uppercut, then snapmares Zack over and soccer kicks him across the back! Black then hits the ropes and goes for a soccer kick to the chest, but Zack grabs the leg and holds it as he gets to his feet, then dragon screws his opponent to the canvas! Zack signals for a figure four, but as he tries to tie Nate up, Black kicks him off and rolls to his feet, rushing up behind Zack and grabbing him around the waist! Black runs him to the ropes and tries for a rollup, but Zack clings to the ropes, sending his rival rolling backwards all by his lonesome! Black rolls to his feet and charges, allowing Zack to tuck his head and elevate Black over the ropes, onto the apron! The two men trade forearm shots, with Zack trying to knock his foe to the floor and Black trying to get the space to get back in! Zack takes him by the head and leads him to the corner, but an attempt to ram him headfirst into the turnbuckle is blocked! Black then takes Zack by the head and tries to send him into it face first, but his attempt is blocked as well! Black then climbs up on the ropes and leaps over Zack's back, rolling him up with a sunset flip, but Malibu rolls through before the referee can even hit the mat to count, and nails Black with a basement dropkick! Zack gets to his feet, while Black rolls to a corner and gets up, wiping his lips as he glares at Malibu. COACH Nate Black ain't lookin' too happy, and that's not a good sign. COLE He's certainly been trying to upstage Malibu here in the opening minutes, but as you and I both know, if there's anyone who'll be able to keep up with him, it's Zack Malibu! Black comes up and raises his arms, asking for a lockup, but kicks Zack in the gut instead when Malibu obliges! A suplex follows, and then Nate rolls Zack to his feet and fires him into the ropes, then nails him with a hard chop as he comes back! Zack comes to his feet but winds up getting drilled by a headbutt from Black, one that sends him stumbling back to the corner! Black follows up and and takes Zack by the head, holding it steady before nailing him with another headbutt! He then shoots Zack off to the far side, waiting patiently for Zack to crash chest first into the turnbuckle...then drops him with a back suplex after he does! A running kneedrop follows, and then Zack is led to his feet and hit with a knee to the stomach! As he doubles over, Black hits the ropes and tries a running kick to the side of the head, but Zack moves out of the way just in time! A flurry of open handed shots follows, staggering Black...but the climactic roaring elbow is blocked, and Black hits an STO! Black then tries to lock on an armbar, pressing his foot against Zack's cheek while doing so, but Malibu manages to make it up without getting tied up! Black keeps hold of the wrist, however, and applies a hammerlock, dodging the blow when Zack tries to elbow his way out of it! Black drops his head and hooks Zack around the waist, and together they spill through the ropes out to the ringside area, as the crowd buzzes about the efforts of the two men here tonight! Both men rise quickly, but taken off their game from the fall to the hard surface of New York City. When they come to, Zack fires off the first shot, and the second, as a pair of kicks crack Nathaniel Black across the upper thigh! Zack winds up and fires off a third high kick as Black hobbles, but the Englishman ducks it, and pushes Zack ribs first into the barricade! COLE That's thinking on your feet, and Malibu just had the wind knocked out of him! COACH Black worked on Zack's ribs two weeks ago, and it looks like he's going back to what almost did Zack in! A few forearms across the ribs cause further damage, and then Zack gets hurled up onto the apron and shoved back into the ring. Nate climbs back in the ring, and in a dastardly move, purposely steps on Zack's hand as he re-enters, then stomps down on it when he's back in the ring! Black then brings Zack up and locks hands with him, twisting his fingers like you'd do in a game of Mercy, then pulls Zack into another kneelift! He traps Zack in a pumphandle and lifts him up for a slam, but Zack slides over his back and brings him down with a waistlock takedown! Zack then climbs onto his back and pulls Black's head up, striking him with crossface shots before stepping over and delivering a kneelift that knocks him silly! Black shakes his head as he tries to regain his composure, but when he comes up he finds himself trapped in a butterfly lock and hit with a series of knees before being taken over with a butterfly suplex! Black sits up as Zack hits the ropes, and that turns out to be a mistake as well, as Zack dives low with a clothesline that wipes him out! Malibu covers with the leg hooked, but the ref's hand doesn't hit the mat a second time, never mind a third, as Black throws his shoulder up! COLE Quick attempt at victory by Zack, and an even quicker kickout by Nathaniel Black! Zack looks to keep his foe grounded, taking him down with a headlock takeover, but Black scissors Zack's head and brings him over! The two come up again, and Zack fires off a chop, but it's reciprocated by Black! The two men stare each other down as if to say "it's on!", and that's when Zack fires off another chop... "SMACK!" ...and Black fires off one of his own! "SMACK!" "SMACK!" from Zack! "SMACK!" from Black! "SMACK!" from Zack! "SMACK!" from Black! "SMACK!" from Zack! "SMACK!" from Black! "SMACK!" from Zack! "SMACK!" from Black! "SMACK!" from Zack! "SMACK!" from Black! "SMACK!" from Zack! "SMACK!" from Black! COACH You keeping count, Mikey Cole? Both men's chests are red and blistered, the effects of so many chops...and Zack probably realizes this, as his next strike is a European uppercut, which is ALSO reciprocated by Black! COLE Now they're going to try and break each other's jaws! The duel continues, with the same brutal sound of skin crashing against skin as the two men try to beat each other senseless! "SMACK!" from Zack! "SMACK!" from Black! "SMACK!" from Zack! "SMACK!" from Black! "SMACK!" from Zack! "SMACK!" from Black! "SMACK!" from Zack! Black teeters and totters, but doesn't go over, so Zack pulls him up onto his shoulders, looking for the airplane spin! Black slides out of the grasp of the former World Champion and revs up, looking to take him down with a BLACK LARIAT~! as he turns, but Zack gets the arms up to block, then drops Black across his knee with a rock bottom backbreaker! Black convulses on the canvas, and that leaves him defenseless to Zack taking his legs and turning him over as he applies a Boston Crab! COLE Smooth transitioning by Zack, hurting Black with that backbreaker and then seguing into a hold to exploit it! Black groans in pain, trapped in the hold in the center of the ring, as Zack wrenches back on the legs! The weight of Zack pushes down on the lower back of the determined Brit as it's bent backwards. Black agonizes, trying to squirm free while simultaneously reaching out for the ropes, but he's not even close to them. He manages to inch slightly, but Malibu has the hold locked in place, putting more pressure on every time he senses that Black could escape, before breaking the hold on his own and then driving a knee into the lower back! COACH Zack's takin' a page out of Nate's book, working over a body part now! Black lays with his face buried in the mat, his back no doubt sore. Malibu then steps through the ropes and to the apron, using the ropes to springboard in with a double stomp to the lower back of Nate Black! He then goes to pull him up, but Black shoves him away...about the only offense he can muster! Zack comes back at him again, but Black takes him over with a fireman's carry, bringing Zack down but unable to capitalize! He crawls on his knees towards the ropes and climbs up, and then as Malibu comes forward again kicks him in the stomach and then hurls him through the ropes, out to the apron! Zack hangs on, not allowing himself to hit the Earth below him a second time...and that's when Black steps out onto the apron, raking the side of Zack's face with the tip of his boot! Black then nails Zack with a forearm shot that staggers him, but with one hand clinging to the top rope, Zack brings the other one over with an overhand chop to the chest on Black! COLE They're dueling again, on the apron! Another forearm shot follows, but another chop is the response it gets, and then Zack comes forward, tripping Black's leg out from under him and planting him with an STO ON THE RING APRON~! COACH Ooooh, damn! Zack slides off the apron, while Black holds the back of his head and rolls under the bottom rope, back into the ring. Zack hops back up on the apron and braces himself, measuring up Black. Seeing that his foe is wounded, Malibu again springboards off the ropes, this time coming down with a legdrop to the back of Black's head! The crowd roars as Zack rolls him over, looking for a cover, and the ref dives down to do his duty! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COLE Amazing kickout there by Nathaniel Black! Zack has been on his game, certainly making the OAOAST's "Most Important Import" pay his dues tonight! After the failed three count, Zack brings him up and fires him into a corner, where his back colliding with the turnbuckles does no favors for Black. Zack charges in, but eats a boot from Black, who then gets him, rams him facefirst into the turnbuckles, then sets him up on the top! With Zack crotched on the top rope, Black steps up the middle rope, putting his back to Zack's and reaching back, jumping off the middle ropes with a snap neckbreaker that takes Zack out, but also has an uncomfortable effect on Black's back! COACH He's comin' back! Yeah, Nate! Zack holds his head as he kicks his feet, aching after that one. Black comes up, back sore, but brings Zack up and then goes to trap him in a Crossface Chickenwing...but Zack quickly snapmares him over to counter! Black recovers quickly, and an out of breath Zack tries to do him in early, looking for a flash SCHOOL'S OUT...BUT IT GETS CAUGHT! Black swings the leg around so that Zack is facing away from him, and NOW he traps him in a chicken wing! COLE Crossface chickenwing by Nathaniel Black! He's got the neck hooked and he's tearing at that shoulder as well! Zack struggles, but just as Black earlier, cannot reach the ropes. Try as he might, he's just not close enough! Black shouts in Zack's ear, telling him to give up, but it's doubtful that motivation like that will be successful with the Modern Day Warrior. Zack continues to try and reach for the ropes, but can't...so he kicks himself off balance and sends both he and Black stumbling back into a corner...and when Black's sore back hits the turnbuckles AGAIN, it's enough to get a break! COACH He got lucky there, Mikey Cole! COLE Maybe so, but one way or another, he's out, fair and square! Zack turns around and lifts Black up, setting him up on the top rope...but when Zack goes up and tries for a superplex, he's sent crashing facefirst to the mat, as Black tosses him off the turnbuckles! Zack flapjacks himself on the mat, and as he comes up, a weary Black goes airborne, nailing Malibu with a missle dropkick to put him on his back! Groggy, Black rises to his feet, and when Zack does so as well, he gets floored for the third time in under a minute, as a Black Lariat knocks him silly! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COLE Nate Black is on the comeback trail, but Zack Malibu still has that resilience working in his favor! Black gets up and brings Zack up, wasting no time in lifting Malibu upside down and spiking him with a brainbuster! With the Franchise felled, Black then heads for the corner, climbing up to the top rope and going airborne once again, coming down with his full weight on Malibu as he executes a beautiful moonsault! ONE! TWO! NO! COACH He's starting to crack, Mikey Cole, I can feel it! COLE Nate Black with a great followup, putting Zack in a bad way here. Black, growing disgusted with his inability to put Malibu away, brings the Preppy One to his feet and drives his knee repeatedly into his ribs, doubling Zack over...that is until he's able to snare Black's leg! Thinking quickly, the Englishman leaps up with an enzugiri, but Zack ducks it and lets Black slam facefirst into the canvas. As Black lays there, Zack reaches down and pulls him up, yanking him up from the apron and over with a release German suplex in one fell swoop, dropping him on the back of his head! Zack falls forward out of exhaustion, while Black holds his head, rolling across the ring! The two men both bide their time, each doing their best to recover...and when Black gets up he catches a knee to the side of the head, better known when Malibu does it as a ZACK ATTACK~!, and before he falls Malibu grabs a bit of his hair and hoists him back up, allowing him to hit an ANGLESLAM~! COLE Killer combo by Zack! ONE! TWO! THR-NO! NO! KICKOUT BY NATHANIEL BLACK! COACH Atta boy, NB! Zack seems surprised at the kickout, but after several weeks ago the resilience of Nate Black should be just as expected as Zack's. Zack leads him up and leans him against the ropes, blistering his chest further with more chops and goes to fire him off, but Black wraps his arm around the top rope and hangs on! Zack fires off MORE chops, trying to get him to break, but Black won't budge, at least not until he frees his arm to blast Zack with a forearm shot that may have knocked some teeth loose! Zack staggers away, but Black comes and grabs his head, looking for the CHELSEA DAGGER...but Malibu shoves him into the ropes and takes him over with a snap powerslam on the way back! ONE! TWO! THREEENO! NO! KICKOUT! Once again, Nate Black is plucked from the jaws of defeat, getting a shoulder up in the nick of time! Zack rolls off of him and takes a minute to look up at the New York sky, wondering what it's going to take this time! Rolling to his feet slowly, Zack looks down at Black, as if he's thinking to himself what to do next. He leans over and pulls Black up...but Black manages to roll him up in a small package, stunning the OAOAST's number one representative! ONE! TWO! NO! ZACK ROLLS THEM INTO A SMALL PACKAGE OF HIS OWN! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! After both men come up short in their search for a win, they both rise to their feet simultaneously...AND ZACK MALIBU NAILS NATHANIEL BLACK WITH A SCHOOL'S OUT THAT NOBODY SAW COMING! ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! NO! SHOULDER UP AT 2.9! NATHANIEL BLACK KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL'S OUT! COLE AMAZING. We saw for months the effort the Zack Malibu/Bohemoth war brought out in both men, and it's being replicated here again, first a few weeks ago in their first encounter and now right here tonight! COACH Nate Black ain't all talk, Mikey Cole! COLE I told you, Coach, he deserves a ton of credit for keeping up with someone of Zack Malibu's caliber. It's just the company he keeps that I think is bogging him down. Zack looks out to the crowd, not looking to see their proud reactions to him, but as if to ask them what to do next. He pulls Black up and then floors him with another European uppercut, then heads to the top, as the crowd buzzes in preperation of whatever high impact move Zack is pulling out next. Malibu gets to the top, and with his foe prone on the canvas, leaps off, soaring downward with a guillotine legdrop...and slams tailbone first into the canvas, as Nathaniel Black rolls out of the way! Zack agonizes over the miss, his face twisted in pain, as Black comes up behind him, traps him in a half nelson, and then drops him across his knee with a backbreaker! ONE! TWO! THR-NO! KICKOUT BY ZACK! COLE A major miss from Malibu sees Black capitalizing with the half nelson backbreaker, but it's still not enough! Black pulls Malibu up, and traps him in a sleeperhold, hoping with little energy extered on his end he can still drain Malibu into submission. Zack tries to free himself, and fights off the hold, managing to twist to the side. He elbows Black in the ribs, then swings his leg out from under him and hits a senton drop, dropping his weight on the British badboys sternum! Black coughs wildly, having just had the wind knocked out of him, and now Malibu goes into a mount, raining elbows across his head and face, causing blood to stream from the nose of Nathaniel Black! COLE Malibu, going into the ground and pound here, and he may have busted his nose! Malibu continues the assault, until he's thrown off by Black! He gets up as Black checks his nose...but when Malibu reaches for him Black shoots his head up, smashing Zack right in the face! Zack reels from the hit, and gets stuffed in a standing headscissors....but when Black lifts for a powerbomb Malibu slides out, and opens fire with a series of open hand blows that knock Black's head back and forth, sending blood streaming through the air! Zack then takes his wrist and uses it to fire him into the corner, and charges immediately with a ZACK ATTACK II, driving both knees into his sternum! He sets him up on the top and climbs, then hoists Black across his shoulders...and with the fans at a fever pitch, Malibu leaps off, bringing Black down with him as Landon Maddix's prize protege is felled by the preppy sensations patented HONOR ROLL~! COLE THE HONOR ROLL~! C'MON ZACK, COVER HIM! Malibu crawls over to where Black landed, draping an arm over him, as the crowd is ready for their hero to emerge victorious! ONE! TWO! T-DING! DING! DING! COLE Did he get him? That was the bell, but was that a three!? The crowd seems perplexed, and the referee goes over and converses with Michael Buffer, who talk softly on camera until they come to an agreement. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the official ruling...this match has gone to a thirty minute time limit DRAW~! The crowd boos the decision, not happy that they've missed out on a decisive outcome. As both combatants lay on the canvas, a chant springs up for them both. "FIVE MORE MINUTES!" clap clap clapclapclap "FIVE MORE MINUTES! clap clap clapclapclap COACH A draw? I mean, c'mon...we can't end a match like this with a draw! COLE It would appear that the New Yorkers here in attendance agree with you, Coach! Both men get to their feet, resting in seperate corners, as the chant has overtaken the entire crowd. The referee talks with both men, and after a few moments of hushed conversation...the referee waves both men on so they can continue! COLE They're getting five more minutes! The crowd roars, but as Black and Zack come out of their corners, LANDON MADDIX rushes out to the ring and cuts Black off! COLE What is he doing! The crowd boos loudly, as Maddix tells Black to get out of the ring. Much to the crowd's delight, Black doesn't want to hear it, but Landon will not let him pass! With his hands on his hips, Black shouts back at Landon, voicing his opinion to his mentor, but Landon will have none of it, and orders Black out of the ring again. Black puts his head down, then looks up at Landon, and ultimately exits the ring, walking away from continuing this contest as well as the former World Champion! COLE Nathaniel Black was ready to go, but Landon Maddix has influenced him into not continuing! The crowd is getting hostile now, going so far as to throw things at Maddix as he heads away from the ring. He calls to Black, but Nathaniel refuses to wait up, disappearing behind the curtain, while Zack Malibu remains in the ring, both confused and angered by the turn of events here tonight.

Doing little shop of horrors worked so well for the Anglemania intro, we're gonna do it again for BAS. This is set to the tune of Skid Row. If you ain't seen little shop of horrors, man, quit reading, go out and get some culture. SMH. Its an early evening on Thursday night, and rain pours down at a speed and intensity worthy of a hurricane. Abdullah, Synth Abdul Jabar, and Logan Mann are exiting a rusted over, worn down Chevy Cavalier in an empty arena parking lot which is littered with torn and cracked pavement. They gather their ragged, poorly treated bags, and slog their way across the puddle filled pavement with heavy hearts. SYNTH AND LOGAN (singing, its a musical everyone is singing) You get to the arena at seven And you hang your head down You get bitched at for two hours By the powers that have always been. ABDULLAH Sing it, brother. SYNTH Till it's Nine P.M. CPA (V.O.) Then You Get... James Blonde sits in the stands of an empty arena, eagerly opening the envelope that contains his paycheck, only to find his check has been replaced for a voucher for chapstick from RITE-AID. JAMES BLONDE HeldDOWN Where the company is broke. HeldDOWN Where your life's a joke. HeldDOWN... Clem Buzzlefoxer lies on the ground, convulsing and on the brink of death. Yet no one in the busy backstage seems to give a hoot. CLEM BUZZLEFOXER Where no one cares if you have a stroke! The Love Doctors stand above the dying referee, shaking their heads. LOVE DOCTORS You get HeldDOWN. BUZZLEFOXER Yes, you get.... Buzzlefoxer gasps his final breath, and we pan towards the the right to a teary eyed Rico being fitted for a female ballerina costume by several tailors. RICO HeldDOWN Where the humiliation don't stop Biff Atlas cowers on the entrance ramp, while firemen attempt to put out a pryo accident that has ignited the entire entrance stage in flames. BIFF HeldDOWN Where the the production is slop! MARV and MEL are passed out on the sidewalk outside the arena, with a shattered bong lying between to them, while Molly films the entire pathetic scene. MOLLY HeldDOWN Where the pot-heads overdose on the ground! MEL AND MARV (waking up) Here on HeldDOWN! And then the CAE pass back out. Vinny Valentine is cornered in the backstage area by angry OAOAST executives, all dressed in black, all with slick backed hair and thick rimmed glasses. As he sings, they take a special delight in yelling at him with what seem to be degrading remarks. VINNY On HeldDOWN you're bossed around by a million jerks. You get paid even less than a mailroom clerk eating all your lunches at the Hot dog carts. Vinny brushes his way through the aggravating bosses, but they hound him with their complaints and insults as he tries to enter the nearest lockeroom... VINNY The bosses take your money And they break your hearts! Landon Maddix is changing in what may well be the most disgusting locker room known to man. So bad that Megan Skye is wearing a hazmat suit to protect against the possibly toxic mold. LANDON On HeldDOWN you're treated like a disfigured whore. You change in rooms with roaches on the shower floor Landon leaves the lockeroom to enter a backstage area that looks more like a hastily thrown together refugee camp than an actual coherent backstage setting. . LANDON Your morning's tribulation, afternoon's a curse And nine o'clock is even worse CPA (V.O.) That's when you get... We pan down from Landon to Maggie walking along hallway, her face contorted by an extreme level of frustration. MAGGIE HeldDOWN where the guys are drips. Maggie walks by ThunderKID and Alfdogg, who crudely whistle and holler at her while giving her the classic suck it symbol. MAGGIE Where they rip your slips. As she proceeds by Lucius Soul, the lecherous pimp attempts to yank down her dress. But, she meets his effort with a brutal knockout punch to the jaw. In the background Leon watches with the entire event sorrowed eyes. LEON AND MAGGIE Where relationships are no go. All on HeldDOWN! All on HeldDOWN! All on HeldDOWN! All on HeldDOWN! Maggie passes by a darkened room, where Theodore Moneymaker sits. We leave Maggie and enter the area, which is illuminated only by an erry glow from a small black and white television that shows a rerun of HeldDOWN. Moneymaker's hair is frazzled, his eyes are blood shoot, and is face is lined with sloppy unkempt stuble. All signs of post-HeldDOWN stress symbol! MONEYMAKER Horrible! All its life this show's always been horrible. I keep asking God why its so terrible and he tells me "Hey, shut up, and Just watch the shit, kid." Enraged, Moneymaker kicks at the television, hoping be rid of HeldDOWN. The television falls to the ground, and the screen goes blank. But by the time it lands, Moneymaker is already out in the the hallway. We walks past his fellow OAOASTERs, who have the weary worn down dirt-soaked appearance of a WWII soldier just coming back from the front lines. MONEYMAKER Oh! Most of them were poorer than an orphan, worse than children of the street on some skid row. They took em in, gave them pennies, a costume, Crust of bread and some jobs Treat them like dirt, call them slobs, Which they are So they live on... The scene changes to a large, pristine, modern day church, where brilliant rays of sun beam through a massive sky light behind the altar. The choir, bedecked in white robes with shimmering gold lining, is made up of every OAOAST superstar including Moneymaker. ALL HeldDOWN NED & SIMON That's your home address. You live on.. ALL HeldDOWN. MELODY When your life's a mess. Ya live on... ALL HeldDOWN. HOLLY-WOOD Where depressions' jes' status quo. ALL Here on HeldDOWN. The view switches to the altar itself, where Krista Isaodra Duncan, in plain street clothes, kneels before it on the bright red carpet. Her face is is marked by a strong sense of desperation, fearing an impending doom. KRISTA Someone show me a way to get off of here, 'cause I constantly pray I'll get off of here Please, won't somebody say I'll get off of here Someone gimme my shot or I'll rot here! Show me how and I will, I'll get off of here. ALL There's no rules for us HeldDOWN KRISTA I'll start climbin' up hill and get offa here. ALL 'Cause it's dangerous HeldDOWN KRISTA Someone tell me I still could get offa here. ALL Where there rainbow just doesn't show KRISTA Someone tell lady luck that I'm stuck here! Desperation fades from Krista's face as she rises to her feet. Instead determination fills her face, and she stands up, turning on her heel and motioning the choir to follow suit. They empty their pews or stands or whatever the fuck it is i aint fuckin with Jesus like that, and march with Krista down the asile way. Moneymaker breaks free of the choir procession and catches up with Krista. KRISTA & MONEYMAKER Gee it sure would be swell to get offa here Bid the gutter farewell and get offa here I'd move heaven and hell to get offa Held I'd do I don't know what to get offa Held But a hell of a lot to get offa Held People tell me there's not a way offa Held But believe me I gotta get off The roster emerges outside into a beautiful, bright, and dreamlike version of New York's world famous and ultra modern 5th Avenue. ALL HeldDOOOOOOOWNNNNNN! A news paper falls into the hands of Moneymaker and Krista. Everyone leans over to see what the headline says, and upon reading it they let out a humongous holler of delight.... We fade into a scene that's unlike any before ever witnessed in the short but storied history of the OAOAST; an isometric view from a helicopter provides us with a look at the sprawling expanse of humanity that is forty thousand people gathered at Central Park's Great Lawn for the free event known as The Big Apple Spectacular. The mass of land looks nothing like a wrestling event, appearing more like a throwback to woodstock with people closer to the ring floor laid out on the actual grass to relax in its lush comfort. Farther back are rows of bleachers, and even though they may be more removed from the action than their grassy counterparts the sight lines of the intimate yet gigantic setting are still of high quality. The typical entrance stage separates two rows of the four sided bleachers. However, this version of the stage is decorated differently then the boxy quasi-theatre seen on HeldDOWN. This stage is adorned with a miniature version of New York, with the buildings, towering nearly seven feet all serving as the video screens for the event. We switch to sofa central, where Double C has to strain to be heard over fans screaming in the background. COACH That intro video was on point! Fuck outta were that HeldDOWN mess, we doin it Spectacular style in the NYC. Marcy Projects, Plaza PJ, shouts to the BK, NYPD get left in stitches in ditches, ya'll know what time it is. COLE Time for the Big Apple Spectacular! The first ever free event in OAOAST history, and its in front of forty thousand people here in Central Park. COACH Forget what I just said about New York. Forty thousand thieves! They stealin away the biggest card we've had since Anglemania. Stealin it, and that ain't right. And think of the guys in the locker room, who get percentage of the gate in their contract, one percent, two percent, five percent. What's five percent of zero, son? I'm just thinking about the boys in the back. That's all. COLE I think all our superstars have had lots of fun in this wild never before seen atmosphere, and I know that I certainly have. And the fun is going to get even greater because we're about to kick this show off! The feud between Sly Sommers and James Cone has been broiling long and hard since Cone turned on Sly in Milan, Italy this past May, knocking him out cold with the Lunar Kick after a heated battle between two then-friendly rivals. Sly got a little bit of revenge at the Bash in the main event War Games match, but challenged Cone at Angleslam to finish it once and for all. But, Cone, knowing that he's legally allowed to turn down a wrestling match against anyone ranked lower than him in the OAOAST Top Ten, did just that. Therefore, Sly upped the stakes by giving him another challenge: here tonight at the Big Apple Spectacular, Cone faces any man on the roster of his own choosing, and if he wins, he retires Sly. But, if he loses or goes to a ten-minute time limit draw, Sly gets Cone in any stipulation match of his choosing at Angleslam. COACH Cone ended up choosing a young man who has a winless record so far here in the OAOAST, the 5'2, 141-pound Cooper Riley. Cooper's suffered vicious beating at the hands of Faqu and Cone himself during the past month, but Sly has taken the OAOAST Wrestling School graduate under his wing the past couple of weeks and Sly honestly believes that Cooper can win this contest! COLE Cooper Riley is Sly Sommers' only hope...and quite frankly, it's a grim one at that! Let's go to the ring! "Orange Crush" by R.E.M. starts up, and out comes Sly Sommers, leading Cooper Riley to the ring. The entire time they're walking to the ring, Sly's barking strategy at Cooper... BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall with a TEN MINUTE TIME LIMIT! In this bout, Sly Sommers' career and the possibility of a Sly versus James Cone match at Angleslam are on the line! Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Sly Sommers...from West Lafayette, Indiana; he weighs in at 141 pounds...Cooooperrrrr Riiiiiileeeey! "The Pretender" starts up, as boos can be heard throughout the building. James Cone comes out in front of the crowd to a chorus of dislike. As he walks to the ring, he looks into the camera and comments on how easy he thinks this match will be... BUFFER And his opponent...hailing from Columbia, South Carolina and weighing in at 235 pounds...James "THE LUUUUNAAAAR PHOEEEENIX" COOOOONE! COLE This one is emotional for so many reasons. You have the personal vendetta with Sly and Cone, you have Cooper's desire to become a superstar pro wrestler, you have Cooper's desire to get his win back from Phoenix, and you even have a bit of pride in Sly as someone who's taken the youngster under his wing. *BELL RINGS* Just like the previous match, Cooper starts off quick with a running dropkick to Phoenix that gets dodged...but this time, Cooper doesn't lean back too far and is able to catch himself on the second rope! He climbs to the top rope before Phoenix turns around...then hits a big moonsault into a cover! ONE! TW...KICKOUT! Cooper gets up right away and comes off of the ropes, as Phoenix gets to his feet almost as quickly...then gets hit with a lightning-fast flying headscissors! Phoenix rolls up to his feet and stumbles into the corner, as Sly Sommers cheers Cooper on! Cooper charges into the corner and leaps onto the second rope with one foot to knee Phoenix right in the jaw! Cooper steps backwards, then hits the same strike! Cooper steps backwards again...then hits the double-knees to the chest! Phoenix stumbles out, right into a small package... ONE! KICKOUT! Cooper immediately gets up and climbs to the second rope. Phoenix gets to his feet and gets a missile dropkick to the chest, sending him back down! COVER! ONE! T-KICKOUT! Cooper goes right back to the top rope. When Phoenix gets to his feet, he launches for another moonsault...this time however, Phoenix dodges it! As soon as Cooper splats on his face, Phoenix goes on the attack with a grounded front facelock. As he cranks on the hold, he yells at Sly... PHOENIX I'm going to keep this hold on...TEN MINUTES! This facelock's going to retire you...WHOOOOA! As Phoenix says that, Cooper twists out and reverses with a side wristlock and comes to his feet. Phoenix is briefly on one knee, before pulling Cooper into a kitchen sink knee to the gut! Cone sends Cooper off with an Irish whip. Cone goes for a tilt-a-whirl manuever, but Riley lands on his feet, leaps up onto Cone, and hits a hurricanrana! Cover! ONE! KICKOUT! Cooper grabs Phoenix's arm as Cone tries to turn over, then goes for La Magistral...but Phoenix is able to stand up while it's being performed, with Cooper ending up in a fireman's carry position. Phoenix walks over to a corner, then tosses Cooper up in the air and drops him stomach-first across the metal connector between the turnbuckle and the turnpost! Phoenix looks at Sly with a smirk on his face, then climbs to the second rope. He grabs Cooper and tosses him with a big flying fallaway slam! Phoenix slowly crawls over, smiling his creepy smile towards Sly Sommers, thinking the win is guarenteed, and goes for a cover.. ONE! TWO! TH-COOPER GETS HIS FOOT ON THE ROPE! Phoenix quickly pulls Riley to mid-ring by his hair, causing the referee to yell at him. Cone yells back, then goes for another lateral press without the leg hooked... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Cone, looking rather unpleasant, pulls Cooper up onto his feet and then sending him down with a big right hook to the jaw! Phoenix backs up into a corner, then walks out with big steps and drops the big elbow onto Riley's chest! Cocky cover! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Phoenix snarls, as he's shocked that Riley's getting up! He pulls Cooper to his feet, then backs him up into a corner... PHOENIX It's time to go to school, kid! Phoenix pulls his arm back...BIG knife-edge chop! He pulls back and hits another! Cooper Riley's chest is quickly reddening as he gets a third! Phoenix drags Cooper away from the corner and into the middle of the ropes, then sends him off with an Irish whip. Phoenix throws another huge chop as Riley comes off of the ropes...but performs a baseball-style slide underneath the arm to avoid it! Phoenix turns around and gets a one and a half-rotation spinning wheel front kick to the face that knocks him down! COVER! ONE! TW-KICKOUT! Cooper immediately goes up to the second rope, awaiting Phoenix to get up. Cone gets to his feet...and avoids a corkscrew bodypress! Phoenix shrugs off the effects of that prior kick, then shoots the half and goes for the pin... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Phoenix gets to his feet, pulls Cooper up with him, then sends him off with an Irish whip. Phoenix lifts him up for a gorilla press, trying to show off how small Cooper is...but in mid-lift, Cooper twists out, right into a snapping hurricanrana! Riley then hits a standing moonsault! COVER! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Both men get to their feet at the same time and Cone sends Cooper down with a big boot! Phoenix puts his foot on Cooper's chest for another cocky pin... ONE! TWO! THREEEEEKICKOUT! The crowd cheers, as Phoenix starts showing a slight look of panic on his face. BUFFER FIVE MINUTES HAVE ELAPSED IN THE TIME LIMIT! FIVE MINUTES REMAINING! Phoenix pulls Cooper up by the hair, then yells at the referee to leave him alone upon the warning. Phoenix lifts Cooper up for a bodyslam and tries throwing him across the ring with it...but Cooper lands on his feet! The crowd's up on their feet, as he hits Phoenix with a running dropkick that sends Phoenix back into the corner behind him! Cooper hits another running dropkick, then kips up and goes for a third...but gets swatted away! Phoenix takes a second to breathe, as Cooper's rapid-fire offense caught him off-guard. Cooper somehow pulls himself up to his feet, but as he's bent over, Phoenix comes out of the corner and gets Cooper RIGHT in his face with a football punt kick, the impact of which causes Cooper to do a backflip! Phoenix slowly walks over to Cooper, then turns him over. He puts his feet on Cooper's long, brown hair, then yanks up on his arms! The referee counts.. ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! Phoenix drops the arms...then yanks right back up! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! Phoenix backs off. Phoenix turns around and looks right at Sly Sommers, then starts yelling at him! PHOENIX Look at your boy! You're done for! I'm done with you... At that moment, Cooper had crawled over and goes for a schoolboy...but doesn't have the strength to pull Phoenix over. Phoenix kicks backwards, nailing Cooper Riley right in the face and breaking the schoolboy attempt. Phoenix backs up, slowly bounces off of the ropes, and hits a big legdrop! Cooper quickly rolls to the apron, causing Phoenix to spend more time pulling him up, having to reach through the ropes. He gets Cooper standing on the apron, then goes for a suplex over the top rope...but Sly runs over, reaches under the bottom rope, and grabs Phoenix's foot! Cooper lands on top! ONE! TWO! TH-KICKOUT! Phoenix freaks out upon getting up! He yells and screams at the referee, demanding Sly be removed from ringside due to his antics! Sly backs off, claiming no responsibility in this situation. As this distraction is keeping Phoenix out of the match, Cooper takes a few seconds to get himself together, then fires up and dropkicks Phoenix from behind! Phoenix bounces chest-first off of the ropes, backing up right into a schoolboy with Cooper's entire body-weight leaning on the back of Phoenix's legs... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! The crowd goes "Aaaaah...", disappointed at it not being the ending. Cooper wastes no time, popping up to his feet first and hitting Phoenix with a standing enziguri as soon as he rises! Phoenix is still standing, but dazed. Cooper immediately connects with another, and Phoenix goes down to one knee! Cooper looks at the situation, then goes for a Shining Enziguri! But, Phoenix ducks it! However, Cooper lands on his feet and hits a running low dropkick! Riley then heads straight to the top rope. He launches off with a GORGEOUS Phoenix splash ironically...but Cone moves! BUT, Cooper lands on his feet, performs a rolling kip-up, and hits a running 450 splash on the ground! COVER! ONE! TWO! THRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKICKOUT! Riley cannot believe it! He stalls for a second to show visible concern on his face, then goes back up top like Sly is yelling at ringside. Cooper climbs to the top rope, as Phoenix rises to his feet. Cooper goes for a moonsault...and gets caught over Phoenix's shoulder! The momentum spins Phoenix around, then he drops Cooper throat-first on the top rope, following up by coming off of the opposite end's ropes as Riley bounces to his feet from the impact...but Cooper falls down and Phoenix sends himself over the top rope with the momentum of his missed diving clothesline! COLE That was an awful fall! THIS COULD BE IT! A COUNTOUT WIN?!?!? Cooper rises to his feet, as the referee begins his count... ONE! TWO! THREE! (Phoenix has pulled himself up using the ring apron) FOUR! (The referee bends down through the middle rope to make sure Phoenix is okay) FIVEEEEE....COOPER RILEY HITS A RUNNING FLOSBURY FLOP DIVE OVER THE REFEREE AND ONTO JAMES CONE! COACH THAT WAS INSANE! Cooper lands on his feet, leaned up against the guardrail! Sly yells at him to hurry up, as the clock is ticking! Cooper has barely enough strength to deadlift the much-larger Phoenix onto the apron and roll him into the ring. Cooper slides into the ring and pushes Phoenix into the middle of the ring! COVER! ONE! TWO! THREEEEEEEEEEEEKICKOUT!!! Cooper shakes his sweaty, long hair out of his face and comes off of the ropes...he bounces off and runs right into a HARD spear! COVER FROM CONE! ONE! TWO! THRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE... KICKOUT! COACH This crowd is electric and Phoenix is angry! Cone gets up and leans back against the ropes, in total and complete shock! BUFFER NINE MINUTES HAVE ELAPSED IN THIS BOUT...ONE MINUTE REMAINING! PHOENIX WHAT? WHAT? WHAT THE HELL?!?!? James Cone signals that he has had it! He waits for Cooper to rise to his feet...THROWS THE LUNAR KICK! BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT.... ...SOMEHOW, SOMEWAY, COOPER RILEY KNOWS THE REVERSAL! He performs a soccer-style slide tackle under the kick, on Cone's other leg! Riley gets up and kicks Cone as hard as he can in the face, soccer ball-style! He then goes up to the top rope...FRONT FLIP DOUBLE STOMP! HE GOES FOR THE COVER! ONNNNNNNEEEEEEEE! COLE WHAT? TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! COACH NO WAY! NO WAY! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *DING DING* THE CROWD GOES NUTS! BUFFER YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUR WINNNNNNNNERRRRR....COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPERRRRR RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYY! Cooper slides out of the ring and leaps into Sly's arms! The place is coming down! COLE Wha...whaa....WHAT? This under-150 pound kid from West Lafayette, Indiana has just scored a clean pinfall victory over one of the top ten ranked wrestlers in the WORLD! COACH I'm grabbing a microphone...I need to speak to these miracle workers! Phoenix, with an angry look in his eye, is trying to pull himself up using the ropes while holding his mid-section with his other arm, never looking away from Sly and Cooper... COACH GUYS! GUYS! Folks, I'm here with Sly Sommers and the Miracle Kid...Cooper Riley! *crowd cheers louder* Um...WHAT JUST HAPPENED??!?!? COOPER Um...um...I believed in myself and Sly believed in me, and this happened! OH MY GOD! SLY My words exactly! But kid...I knew you had it in you! Congrats! *hugs Cooper, then looks at Phoenix* So bro, wonder how someone who trained under me, a guy who doesn't know how to avoid that kick of yours, knew how to reverse it? Let's just say that palling around with the master of the superkick in this company has its perks... Phoenix pitches a fit in the ring! SLY Settle down, young man. Settle down. There's no need to throw a fit because there's nothing you can do about it...I've unlocked Pandora's Box, my friend. You and I are back on even ground. You might have proved me wrong about not having what it takes to be a top guy in this sport...but you made it personal, boy! COACH So, since Cooper pulled out the upset of the year, you get Phoenix at Angleslam with any stipulation of your choice... SLY Yes; yes I do. I'm not going to wait to tell the world what I have in mind. I'm not going to leave you drooling in anticipation, Phoenix. At Angleslam...*pauses*...we're going to have a straight-up match. One on one, singles match, all that jazz...(Phoenix visibly breathes a sigh of relief) COACH Um, okay? Well, there you have it: Sly Sommer... SLY Wait, I almost forgot something. Those ropes? They're going to have to go during our match. They're gawdy and they're just going to get in the way. COACH The way of what? PHOENIX (un-mic'd) YEAH! THE WAY OF WHAT??!?! SLY The way of strand upon strand of flesh-ripping, blood-shedding, unforgiving BARBED WIRE! *the fans applaud* COACH NO ROPE BARBED WIRE AT ANGLESLAM?!?!?! SLY No, no, no, bro. Not just that. PHOENIX NOT JUST THAT?!?!?! SLY Nah, man. See, I don't want these fans getting hurt by what I'm going to do to you, so we're going to put up...the HELL IN THE CELL! Why? I don't want shards of glass going into the crowd! PHOENIX SHARDS OF GLASS?!?!? SLY Oh yeah, man, I kinda forgot. Hanging from the ceiling of the cell will be a trash can. What's special about a trash can, right? Well, this trash can will be filled with FLUORESCENT LIGHTBULB TUBES! We're going to put a couple of ladders at ringside too. You grab the trash can using the ladder to climb, you bring down the tubes, and they're fair game to hurt your opponent with! PHOENIX WHAT THE HELL?!?!? SLY One more thing: no submit. No surrender. No pinfalls. The only way to win is to be left defenseless. You have to be bruised, bloodied, wounded, and unconcious. If the referee deems you unable to continue, only then is the match over! I don't want you taking the (bleep) way out and tapping out to a headlock! This crap ends at Angleslam! One of us is leaving on a stretcher! Phoenix...you were treading on the proverbial devil's playground when you turned on me...but now, you're going to be in the real Devil's Playground...good luck! Phoenix continues to hold his ribs and throw a fit in the ring, as Sly picks up Cooper and continues the celebratory walk to the locker room to cheers... COACH WOW! There you have it, there you have it! In what I guess we're going to be calling a Devil's Playground match, Sly Sommers and James Cone will settle the score! Barbed wire, the cell, lighttubes...THIS WILL BE NUTS! COLE And it will be live from Alamodome in San Antonio at Angleslam. We remember the Alamo and we're definitely not going to forget that one. But, stay tuned because there's more Big Apple Spectacular after this! COMMERCIAL

COLE Folks, its been a fantastic night here in Central Park, and we want to thank our fans here in New York as well as those watching at home for making it all possible. Now, before, we move onto our next match, I understand that Tony Tourettes has somehow corralled a microphone and for whatever reasons, I assume someone wants to get fired, we're going to him. Tony are you there? We actually go slightly outside the park on the sidewalk on 5th avenue (not the part with the huge stores!). On the busy streets of NY with so much foot traffic, even a guy dressed in sweat pants and a beer stained NASCAR t-shirt can find someone to talk to. And, amazingly, Tony's guest is a reasonably attractive woman in running clothes and her blond hair tied in a pony tail. TONY SUCK A FART OUT OF GROVER CLEVLAND'S ASSHOLE BITCH....Yes I'm here with the beautiful...what's your name again? WOMAN Amber. TONY (singing) Amber. Amber in the moonlight when my summer gets cold, when my memories grow old, when my life's ready to fold, I'll have amber in the moonlight. Amber, that's the color of pee-pee, please drink my wee-wee, gee gee I will always love you. WHERE'S MY FUCKING BEER YOU ASSHOLE. GET MY BEER OR I STAB YOU IN YOUR MILK FACTORIES! I made that song up myself. Amber begins looking around, persumably for a cop to call over and get this lewd maniac away from her. AMBER Um...good. TONY I understand that Zack Malibu is...MORE ROTTEN THAN A FISH PUSSY...your favorite OAOAST superstar. AMBER Yeah, he's cool. TONY For sure. Would you like....TO BONE HIM IN THE BACKSEAT OF HIS CAR AND WATCH HIM JIZZ ON HIS BABY'S CAR SEAT...to make a prediction on his match with Nathaniel Black? AMBER Did you just ask if I wanted to do him in a mini van where his child sleeps on the way to grandma and grandpa's? Very convieniently, perhaps too convienent. Most assuredly too convienent, New York's own Vinny Valentine comes charging down the street to play "Captain save a ho". He "heroically" inserts himself between Amber and Tony, eying down his cousin as though he were ready to fight. VINNY Ma'am is this abrasive differently abled person causing you discomfort? AMBER Yes. Yes he is! And he's not very attractive at all. Vinny gives Tony an obviously over exaggerated slap. When that fails to floor his cousin, he rifles his fist into his stomach. The "attack" doubles Tony over, leaving him open to a Boogie Shoes Shining Wizard. Yes, you read that right, this fool actually did a shinning wizard in a "street fight" on 5th avenue. A shining wizard on 5th avenue. To a guy with tourettes. On 5th avenue. A shining wizard. In a faked street fight. On 5th avenue. They shoulda never let these niggas off the boat! Anyway, Tony's terrible over acting sends him hurling back onto the street where a group of bicycler's nearly run him over. But, that doesn't concern his cousin, because he's about to get that play! VINNY Come with me, young lady. I'd like to have coffee with you and get your opinion on my latest celebrity gossip blog post. AMBER I love celebrity gossip, there's not enough websites, or TV shows, or blogs, or magazines covering it! You're so cool and with it. I need a guy like you to influence my mind and opinions on all things pop culture, and help me bitterly judge and make fun of those with more money than me! As Vinny walks away arm and arm with the young lady, he turns over his shoulder and gives both Tony and the camera a gigantic smile and a thumbs up. But as he strolls down the street with his jumpoff, he walks right into... VINNY TELEVISION'S NEIL PATRICK HARRIS?! OH GOD! NEIL PATRICK HARRIS God left you to die by my hand, friend. Vinny may soon wish he was dead as doogie houser slams a knee into his testicles. That humliating attack is followed by a brutal throat thrust and a hip toss to the ground. NPH gives Vinny one last kick to the jaw before turning to Amber. NEIL PATRICK HARRIS Bitch. Here. Now. AMBER Do you have a celebrity blog? NEIL PATRICK HARRIS No. Im just a pimp trynna get his fuck on. That's good enough for Amber as she hooks onto Neil Patrick Harris' arm and two peacefully venture down the famus avenue. As we shoot up from Vinny bruised corpse filling the bottom half of the frame we see NPH turn around and give us the thumbs up. FADE OUT The camera cuts to the ring where crewmen are setting up the steel cage for the next match-up. COLE There's a steel cage being erected, which must mean that it's time for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship Match! Inside the steel cage, Tha Puerto Rican will defend his OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship against his FORMER right-hand man, Vitamin X! It is a match with alot of history, AND with the special stipulation that if Vitamin X can NOT beat PRL, then he must RETIRE from professional wrestling FOREVER! COACH It is about damn time that Vitamin X got his shot at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! A five-year career in the One And Only AngleSault Thread filled with moments to last a lifetime, and finally...FINALLY...he is being rewarded for his greatness! COLE We will have to agree to disagree on that one. But Coach, don't forget, this is a MUST-WIN situation for Vitamin X! Either he wins, or his career is over! COACH The X-Man is so confident that he will walk out of Central Park the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion that he hasn't even THOUGHT about the stipulation! Make no mistake, Cole! This is X's match for the taking! This is his time to shine! Tonight is the dawning of The X-Man Era here in the One And Only AngleSault Thread, and I for one welcome it with open arms! Save us, Vitamin X! Save us from the PRL Era tonight! The pressure is on Vitamin X, but he will overcome! It's like a movie. A really great movie with great acting, a great story, great special effects, great editing, and a HOT leading lady! COLE But will this movie have a happy ending or a sad ending? We are about to find out! Vitamin X made the match AND the stipulation! It happened last Thursday night on HeldDOWN~! when Vitamin X interrupted Tha Puerto Rican in the ring. Let us take you back to last Thursday and show you how this match came about. The OAOAST Big Apple Spectacular logo flashes across the screen. Cut to the July 17, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. Cut to Vitamin X having already interrupted Tha Puerto Rican's promo. The OAOAST Big Apple Spectacular logo flashes across the screen. The camera pans across the old school WWF blue steel bars that are surrounding the ring (we're kicking it OLD SKOOL~! for this Steel Cage Match!). The thousands in attendance in Central Park are buzzing in anticipation. COLE It is now time for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship Match! Career vs. Title! Vitamin X vs. Tha Puerto Rican! The former allies collide right now on the Big Apple Spectacular! Let's go to the ring! *DING DING DING* *KA-CHING~!* *"Come and take your Vitamin X."* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys starts playing. The crowd boos loudly. Vitamin X comes out, doing the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. He tries to get the crowd fired up, but fails miserably. Vitamin X is wearing a black PRL T-shirt that has a giant white X over it on the front. In addition to that, he is wearing his standard gold chain around his neck, black elbow pads, black sweatpants with a small OAOAST logo on the right pant leg, and black Reebok sneakers. VX yells out, "BOO-YAH~!" to boos. He then brings out his lovely girlfriend, Princess Stacey, who is wearing diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, a green silk dress, silver bracelets on her wrists, a $1,000 Rolex watch on her right wrist, a gold ring on her right ring finger, silver heels, and her trademark tiara on her head. But that's not all. Vitamin X has also brought out...Thomas Rodriguez! COLE What is this? VX does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle again. He then leads Princess Stacey and Thomas Rodriguez down the entrance ramp. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a Career vs. Title Steel Cage Match for the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship! With the stipulation being that if Vitamin X loses the match, then he must retire from professional wrestling FOREVER! In order to win this match, you must escape the steel cage either over the top or through the door and BOTH FEET must touch the floor! Introducing first, coming to the ring at this time. Accompanying to the ring by his girlfriend and manager Princess Stacey. From Miami, Florida. Weighing in at 248 pounds. He...is...VITAMINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN EXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX! The crowd boos some more as Vitamin X bobs his head to the beat of his entrance song. Princess Stacey bobs her head too. COLE Buffer mentioned Princess Stacey, but didn’t mention Thomas Rodriguez! Why not? COACH I don't know. But I think there's a good reason why. COLE Oh no...you don't mean… COACH I think so, Michael! HA! HA! HA! HA! PRL is in SOOOO much trouble tonight! Vitamin X jaws with the fans. He lunges after one fan in particular. After making the "I-Want-The-Belt" hand gesture, X gets a good luck kiss from Princess Stacey and then climbs up the ring steps, entering the steel cage through the cage door. Vitamin X then climbs up a second turnbuckle and then crosses his arms into a X. Princess Stacey and Thomas Rodriguez cheer him on. Afterwards, Vitamin X hops off of the second turnbuckle into the ring, and then he does another Shane-O-Mac Shuffle to the delight of no one but Princess Stacey and Thomas Rodriguez. Thomas Rodriguez receives a pat on the back from Princess Stacey and then climbs up the ring steps, entering the steel cage through the cage door. COLE Oh, I don't believe this! This is ridiculous! COACH This is brilliant! I KNEW Vitamin X had an ace up his sleeve! COLE The Lightning Crew broke up 4 months ago! COACH Yes, but Thomas Rodriguez STILL has his referee license! COLE Oh, so this is just one final favour for Vitamin X then? COACH Correctamundo, my nerdy white friend! Now Vitamin X CAN'T lose! Not when he has backup in the ring AND outside of the ring! COLE Oh come on! Vitamin X jumps up and down in place waiting for Tha Puerto Rican to arrive. Thomas Rodriguez paces back and forth inside of the ring. Thomas checks the blue steel bars. Princess Stacey remains on the outside, watching with a look of confidence on her pretty face. COLE I'll tell you what, Coach. I wasn't so sure about Vitamin X's chances before, but now... COACH Oh, Michael! Poor naive Michael. Vitamin X ALWAYS had a chance...he just has a little bit of an 'insurance policy' now! COLE 'Insurance policy'? COACH Yes, 'insurance policy'! But really, all Thomas has to do is make sure BOTH of Vitamin X's feet touch the floor to ensure that Vitamin X's career continues AND that he becomes the NEW One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion! COLE Oh, I think he will do a lot more than that in this match! COACH What makes you say that? The man is a coward! No offense. COLE What must be going through Tha Puerto Rican's mind? He must know that his chances of retaining the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship under these circumstances are somewhat remote! COACH Like he had a chance beforehand! Vitamin X dances, badly. COLE This is an unforgiving structure! 16-feet high, 20-feet wide! The cage is surrounding the ring. It has 8 sections. EACH ONE of the sections weighs 350 lbs.! There are 12 interconnected poles and all together, the steel cage weighs a little over THREE THOUSAND POUNDS! Pinfalls are non-existent! Neither are submissions! There's no time limit! No countout! No disqualifications! COACH Yeah! No pinfalls or submissions! So you can throw The Puerto Rico Elbow out the window and the P.R. Nightmare too! That ain't gonna do him any good! COLE Combine that with Thomas Rodriguez as the referee and Princess Stacey on the outside and I don't like Tha Puerto Rican's chances! COACH And now the stage is set for Vitamin X's GREATEST victory! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys ends. The crowd buzzes in anticipation for Tha Puerto Rican's entrance. Vitamin X checks the steel cage while Princess Stacey looks on. COLE Vitamin X must be seething with confidence now! He has his girlfriend with him, he has his own referee with him! This is it for Vitamin X! It's all or nothing for The X-Man! Right here! Right now! COACH COME ON X-MAN! THIS MATCH IS YOURS FOR THE TAKING! Vitamin X looks to the entrance. COLE This is without a doubt, the biggest match in Vitamin X's life! Will he choke under the pressure? COACH No! He's not Tha Puerto Rican! "THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP" *DUN DUN* "...IS..." *DUN* "...HERE!" "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE But this man is! With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance stage, the PRL entrance video plays on the giant AngleTron, and "Know Your Role 2000" begins playing over the P.A. system. Every fan in attendance stands up and cheers out loud, excited that the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion is about to make his entrance. PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" in tune with the beat of the song, while smoke fills the entrance stage. A few seconds elapsed, and then Tha Puerto Rican quickly saunters out through the smoke and power walks to the ring, not stopping at all, and keeping his eyes focused on the ring. Tha Puerto Rican has the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt strapped around his waist, which he quickly unstraps in order to sling the belt over his left shoulder as he walks to the ring. BUFFER And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 220 pounds. He is the reigning and defending One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the Woooooorrrrrlllllllllllddddddddddddddddddddd! The Badd Boy Of The OAOAST! THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! The crowd cheers louder than before. Tha Puerto Rican snorts as he continues his walk to the ring. COLE A big time opportunity for Tha Puerto Rican here tonight! He can rid the OAOAST of Vitamin X if he defeats him in this Steel Cage Match! COACH Well, that's not going to happen! Not if Vitamin X has anything to say about it! COLE Along with Thomas Rodriguez and Princess Stacey, right? COACH ...No. Tha Puerto Rican stops at ringside to slap hands with the fans before power walking around the ringside area. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has been World Heavyweight Champion for 5 months now! COACH 5 months too many. PRL glances over at Princess Stacey, who gives him a dirty look. PRL runs his mouth at her, vowing to hurt her boyfriend horribly tonight. He then looks at the ring and sees Thomas Rodriguez in there, so he runs his mouth some more. COLE This is all a trap! And Tha Puerto Rican is walking right into it! COACH Like the gullible moron that he is! PRL continues running his mouth, irritated but not surprised that this is what Vitamin X had planned. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has gotta stay focused here! Tha Puerto Rican has gotta get into the cage, and the only way to win is to climb over the top or through the door! THAT'S IT! COACH He's not focused! He hates Vitamin X! He hates all of The Lightning Crew members now! THAT will hurt him in this match, and THAT will be the end of his World Heavyweight Title reign FINALLY! COLE Tha Puerto Rican has outlasted two men in one match! He has survived a No Holds Barred Match against the 6'7" 285 pound Cuban Wall! But can he overcome this? Can the Latin Lion overcome his FORMER Second-In-Command in a Steel Cage Match with his FORMER personal referee in the match with a bias against him and his FORMER Second-In-Command's girlfriend on the outside? COACH I think we all know the answer to that one, Michael Cole! Outside referee Earl Hebner opens the cage door. PRL glares angrily at Vitamin X and Thomas Rodriguez. Tha Puerto Rican kisses the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and then hands it over to Earl Hebner. PRL then grabs a hold of the blue bars and the second rope and then climbs into the ring through the cage door. PRL stands near a turnbuckle corner and stares at Vitamin X as Earl Hebner closes the cage door. He then walks on over to the timekeeper's table and places the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt on top of the timekeeper's table. COLE The OAOAST World Heavyweight Title will be at stake! As well as Vitamin X's very own career! "Know Your Role 2000" dies down. Tha Puerto Rican continues staring at Vitamin X, who stares back from the opposite turnbuckle corner. Thomas Rodriguez pats down Vitamin X. Thomas nods his head. X nods back. COLE Something's up here. COACH Yeah, the crowning of a new World Heavyweight Champion! Thomas Rodriguez goes to pat down Tha Puerto Rican, but Tha Puerto Rican lunges after him. Thomas backs away in fear and falls on his ass! The crowd laughs. COACH HE'S JUST A REFEREE! COLE He's also a former Lightning Crew member! COACH So? The Lightning Crew is in the past! The Lightning Crew is history! COLE Yeah, but some things will never change! Like Tha Puerto Rican's disdain for his one time allies! COACH Let it go, P.R.! Let. It. Go! COLE Maybe you should be saying that to his opponent! COACH Nah. Thomas Rodriguez nods his head and slowly crawls into the center of the ring. He says, "Okay. Okay. I got you! I got your message!" Thomas then stands up, dusts himself off, and then looks at Vitamin X and then Tha Puerto Rican. He nods his head, and then calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* TITLE VS. CAREER: STEEL CAGE MATCH FOR THE OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP THA PUERTO RICAN (Champion) vs. VITAMIN X (Challenger with Princess Stacey) STIPULATION: If Tha Puerto Rican wins, Vitamin X must retire from professional wrestling FOREVER. The crowd cheers loudly. COACH Here we go! The bell has rung! COLE It has indeed rung, Coach! And now we can begin! Tha Puerto Rican's OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship is on the line against Vitamin X's career! Tha Puerto Rican and Vitamin X circle each other. COACH Go X! Climb! Climb! COLE X looks a little reluctant here, and why not? COACH That's just mind games, Cole. CLIMB X! CLIMB LIKE YOU NEVER CLIMBED BEFORE! COLE Tha Puerto Rican, 5'9" 220 lbs. Vitamin X, 5'8" 248 lbs. COACH So the smaller guy will overcome the bigger guy! Great! Tha Puerto Rican and Vitamin X engage in a staredown. X has a look of nervousness mixed with determination on his face. PRL and Vitamin X circle each other some more. P.R. runs his mouth, pointing a menacing finger at The X-Man. P.R. charges forward, but is held back by Thomas Rodriguez...which gives Vitamin X the perfect opportunity to run up the turnbuckles and scale the steel cage! COACH HE'S CLIMBING! HE'S CLIMBING! COLE Hey! Wait a minute! Thomas Rodriguez just held Tha Puerto Rican back! What reason would he have to do that!? Tha Puerto Rican sees this and shoves Thomas aside, running forward and grabbing Vitamin X by his T-shirt to pull him back down onto the mat! Afterwards, Tha Puerto Rican nails Vitamin X with a Rock-style punch to the temple! And another! And another! The crowd cheers! The punches take Vitamin X into the ropes! Tha Puerto Rican nails Vitamin X with more Rock-style punches to the temple! COLE PRL is in control as the match begins! COACH CLIMB X, CLIMB! Tha Puerto Rican grabs Vitamin X by his left hand and gives him an Irish whip into the opposite ropes. Vitamin X bounces off of the opposite ropes, right into a back elbow from Tha Puerto Rican which knocks him down onto the mat! Vitamin X gets back up, and Tha Puerto Rican is waiting for him with another Rock-style punch to the temple! Vitamin X stumbles. COACH Tha Puerto Rican is enjoying this, isn't he? That sadist! Tha Puerto Rican grabs Vitamin X and slams his face into a top turnbuckle pad! P.R. then grabs VX by his head and takes him over to the opposite turnbuckle corner where he proceeds to slam X's face into the top turnbuckle pad again! COLE Vitamin X the referee for Tha Puerto Rican/Stephen Joseph Popick match at AngleMania VII, the match where Tha Puerto Rican won his first ever World Heavyweight Championship in front of over 100,000 fans in the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum! But if Vitamin X would have had his way, obviously, Tha Puerto Rican would NOT have defeated Stephen Joseph Popick and be OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion right about now! COACH A wrong that will be righted here tonight! Tha Puerto Rican picks Vitamin X up and then whips him into the opposite turnbuckle corner. Vitamin X hits the turnbuckle back-first HARD! X stumbles out of the turnbuckle, right into a clothesline from Tha Puerto Rican! "X'S A PUSS-SEE!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* "X'S A PUSS-SEE!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* "X'S A PUSS-SEE!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* "X'S A PUSS-SEE!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* COACH HE IS NOT! PRL chuckles at the chant. Princess Stacey looks on worried, as does Thomas Rodriguez. THOMAS RODRIGUEZ GET UP! GET UP! Tha Puerto Rican looks down at the already winded Vitamin X and chuckles some more. He continues his attack by hitting Vitamin X with a shaky leg kick! And another shaky leg kick! And a third shaky leg kick! Thomas Rodriguez tells PRL that he is "kicking Vitamin X too hard!" Obviously, PRL ignores Thomas, but Thomas insists on having P.R. listen to him by holding on to him tight. Thomas looses his grip on Puerto, so he starts yelling at the OAOAST Champion. PRL just rolls his eyes at the yelling. COLE I think that's the most guts Thomas has EVER shown in his entire OAOAST career! COACH That attaboy, Thomas! Stand up to PRL! Make him regret bossing you around for over four years of your life! But what PRL doesn't know is that Thomas' scolding is merely a distraction so that Vitamin X can tell Earl Hebner to open the cage door! VX starts crawling towards the cage door with Princess Stacey cheering him on! COLE X is almost out! X is almost out of the cage! The door is open! Princess Stacey grabs ahold of Vitamin X to pull him out! But Tha Puerto Rican sees this and rushes into action, grabbing ahold of Vitamin X's left leg. COLE Princess Stacey is trying to help her man, but PRL is trying to stop her! COACH PULL STACEY, PULL! YOUR BOYFRIEND'S CAREER IS ON THE LINE! It becomes a tug-o-war between Princess Stacey and Tha Puerto Rican with Vitamin X as the rope! The two sides pull hard on Vitamin X, causing The X-Man to scream out in pain! The Princess tries her hardest, but she is just no match for Tha Puerto Rican's strength! COLE Princess Stacey using all of her 115 pounds to pull her boyfriend out of the ring and into his first World Heavyweight Championship reign! COACH COME ON STACEY! COME ON! PRL gains the advantage in this tug-o-war, slowly pulling VX back into the ring! But as he does so, he ends up pulling Princess Stacey into the ring as well! COACH OH NO! COLE Princess Stacey is in the ring! COACH GET OUT! GET OUT! Princess Stacey takes Coach's advice and quickly zooms out of the ring! PRL only watches as Princess Stacey regains her composure and dusts herself off. Earl Hebner closes the cage door, once again leaving Tha Puerto Rican and Vitamin X (along with Thomas Rodriguez) alone in the ring. COLE Now we're back to just the three men in the ring. COACH Good, PRL was about to do something to Princess Stacey! I just know it! I saw it in his eyes! COLE Will you stop!? Vitamin X holds onto the bottom turnbuckle, so Tha Puerto Rican grabs X by his legs and turns him around. PRL still has ahold of VX's legs, so that he can lift him up off of the mat and then pull him out of the turnbuckle corner, causing The X-Man to go up a few feet into the air before crashing back down HARD onto the mat! COLE London Bridge is falling down/Falling down/Falling down/London Bridge is falling down/My fair lady COACH Stop it! Thomas checks on VX, but backs away as soon as PRL gets close to him. Tha Puerto Rican nails Vitamin X with a shaky leg kick! PRINCESS STACEY COME ON X! PRL picks VX up. He grabs X by his left wrist and then gives him an Irish whip into the ropes--NO--Vitamin X reverses, PRL bounces off of the ropes, right into a flying back elbow from Vitamin X! COLE And Vitamin X with his first offensive move of this match! COACH All right! We're on the right track! This is how we do it! PRL takes a moment to shake the cobwebs out, and then gets right back up...only to get nailed with a clothesline from VX! COLE A couple of high-impact moves from The X-Man! COACH What? You're surprised by this!? COLE Well... COACH Save it, Michael! Vitamin X starts choking Vitamin X with his bare hands! COLE He's choking Tha Puerto Rican! COACH That is FOUR YEARS of resentment coming out right now! COLE 'FOUR YEARS of resentment'!? Oh come on! Vitamin X was a close friend of Tha Puerto Rican and you know it! COACH That's just what he wanted you to think! COLE Oh please! And of course, Thomas Rodriguez doesn't do anything about it! Indeed, Thomas Rodriguez just watches as VX chokes the life out of PRL. The crowd boos X while Princess Stacey watches with a serious look on her face. X finally stops choking PRL and allows him to get up, so that he can club him in the back with some Clubberin'~! They Be Clubberin'~! forearms. COACH COME ON! "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" Tha Puerto Rican rests on the second ring rope. Vitamin X stands up and delivers a clothesline to PRL's back! X then grabs PRL by his head, and places his head on the second ring rope. VITAMIN X Yo, Tommy! Thomas Rodriguez walks over to Vitamin X...and as he does this, Princess Stacey pulls out a KENDO STICK from underneath the ring! COLE What in the hell is this!? The crowd boos loudly as Princess Stacey runs with the Kendo Stick over to where Tha Puerto Rican is placed...and jams the Kendo Stick through the blue steel bars into Tha Puerto Rican's ribs! PRL falls onto the mat! PRINCESS STACEY HA! HA! COACH Good job, Stacey! COLE What was that!? What the hell was that!? COACH A little salt poured into the wound, Michael! HA! HA! HA! Princess Stacey points and laughs at Tha Puerto Rican as he coughs and wheezes thanks to the shot to the ribs. The crowd boos loudly. "GOLDDD-DIGGER!" "GOLDDD-DIGGER!" "GOLDDD-DIGGER!" "GOLDDD-DIGGER!" COACH THESE PEASANTS! HOW DARE THEY!? COLE If Vitamin X loses, Princess Stacey is going to lose her meal ticket! COACH DON'T YOU EVEN JOKE ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT! I mean...Stacey can handle things on her own! She can get a job...I guess. Yeah...she can work on her own...do her own thing...I guess...I hope. Princess Stacey pokes PRL in the ribs with the Kendo Stick again! She smiles an evil smile! COLE You don't poke a mean dog with a Kendo Stick! COACH Mean dog!? P.R. is just a puppy! A poodle puppy while we're at it! Vitamin X starts doing the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, causing the fans to groan. He waits for PRL to get up, so that he can start his infamous combo. COACH Look at that Shuffle! The Shane-O-Mac Shuffle! Float like a butterfly, sting like when I pee! Vitamin X punches Tha Puerto Rican in the face! VX then punches Tha Puerto Rican in the face again! Vitamin X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. Vitamin X punches Tha Puerto Rican--BLOCKED! Punch! Punch! Punch! Punch! Punch! NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! Vitamin X gets knocked down onto the mat! PRL waits for X to come near him. PR kicks X in the gut, grabs him, cradles Vitamin X up, and then DRILLS him into the mat with the Cradle DDT! COLE Tha Puerto Rican hits Vitamin X with the Esto Daño De La Cogida De La Voluntad! COACH Whatever language that's in, that's GOTTA hurt! COLE Spanish, Coach. COACH Oh. PR stands up and jaw jacks with the fallen Vitamin X. He then grabs ahold of some blue steel bars and starts climbing the steel cage! COLE PRL is going to make the climb! Will he get out of the cage!? Princess Stacey jams the Kendo Stick into Tha Puerto Rican's stomach, causing Puerto to fall off of the top ring rope which he was just standing on and crash onto the mat! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH The correct answer is 'NO'! COLE You call this fair!? COACH No rules, Cole! It's a STEEL CAGE MATCH! COLE IT'S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING! PRL gets on right knee and holds his stomach in pain. The World Heavyweight Champion makes direct eye contact with Princess Stacey, who is holding the Kendo Stick in her right hand. The one-time Princess Of The Lightning Crew sneers at her former boss, fully aware that *her* career in professional wrestling is on the line as well as her boyfriend's. COACH If Vitamin X loses, does that mean no more Princess Stacey!? COLE I would think so, Coach. COACH COME ON X! DO IT FOR STACEY! DO IT FOR HER! AND DO IT FOR ME TOO WHILE YOU'RE AT IT! Running her mouth, The Princess measures PRL with the Kendo Stick, and then pokes away--PR GRABS AHOLD OF THE KENDO STICK AND SNATCHES IT AWAY FROM PRINCESS STACEY'S HANDS! COACH THIS IS NOT FAIR! YOU'RE RIGHT, THIS IS NOT FAIR! The crowd cheers loudly as Tha Puerto Rican walks around the ring holding the Kendo Stick in his right hand. Thomas Rodriguez panics while Princess Stacey can only look on in horror as PRL waits for her boyfriend to get up. COLE No disqualifications! IT'S A STEEL CAGE MATCH! COACH SHUT UP, MICHAEL COLE! Vitamin X is on his hands and knees. *CRACK!* And gets a Kendo Stick CRACKED over his back! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH OH! COLE That Kendo Stick has been broken in half! Perhaps a form of symbolism? Remember Vitamin X's match against Caboose over a year ago when he broke the cricket bat in half and we haven't seen Caboose since? COACH It's not symbolism! It's just a concidence! IT'S JUST A CONCIDENCE! Thomas Rodriguez and Princess Stacey both cringe at the Kendo Stick shot. Vitamin X is kissing the canvas. PRL paces back and forth inside of the steel cage with the broken pieces of the Kendo Stick in his hands. He throws the Kendo Stick pieces aside as he watches Vitamin X slowly get up. PRL helps X get up by picking him up by his hair. Princess Stacey watches, worried for her man. Tha Puerto Rican has Vitamin X by the back of his head. X is dazed, confused, sweating, and sucking wind. And Tha Puerto Rican doesn't make X feel better by taunting him, and then throwing him right into the blue steel bars HARD! COLE Tha Puerto Rican laying the smackdown verbally AND physically! Vitamin X collapses onto the mat! P.R. picks Prince Vitamin up, points at the steel cage like he's Babe Ruth in the 1932 World Series, and then charges forward, throwing his friend-turned-enemy into another side of the steel cage HARD! Vitamin X stumbles down onto the mat, using the top ring rope to hold himself up, but just barely. PRL glances over at Princess Stacey. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is wearing X out and taking him out to the woodshed! Tha Puerto Rican grabs Vitamin X by his head again, runs his mouth, and then charges forward, throwing The X-Man into ANOTHER side of the steel cage HARD! COACH YO~! VX crumbles onto the mat! Princess Stacey offers up words of encouragement as her eyes get watery. Prince Vitamin lies on the mat in horrible pain, his eyes glazed over. COLE Even if Vitamin X wins the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship tonight, Tha Puerto Rican will make sure that he retires anyway with the way that he is beating him right now! COACH Stop. PRL sneers at X, and then stomps on him. PRINCESS STACEY COME ON X! Puerto Rican picks Vitamin X up once again. X is now groggy and sucking wind. P.R.L. drags the hurt VX into a turnbuckle corner where he proceeds to slam X's face right into the top turnbuckle pad. PRL then grabs X and whips him into the opposite turnbuckle. X hits the turnbuckle back-first HARD! PRL then charges forward and hits Vitamin X with a Stinger Splash! PRL then whips X into the opposite turnbuckle. X hits the turnbuckle back-first HARD and then collapses onto the mat! PRL casually walks over to where Vitamin X is lying, whistling a tune as he walks! Puerto picks X up and sets him up against the turnbuckle corner. PR measures him up, and then delivers a Rock-style punch to the temple! He then proceeds to deliver another one! And another one! And another! Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! VX falls onto the mat! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is just dominating Vitamin X right now! Thomas Rodriguez punches PRL in the back! COLE What the hell did Thomas Rodriguez just do? Tha Puerto Rican turns around, VERY ANNOYED! COACH SOMETHING HE WILL REGRET! Thomas Rodriguez immediately wets his pants. The crowd comes alive, hoping that the cowardly referee gets his ass kicked. Thomas begs off, pleading with his former boss to spare him from getting dismantled on national television. But The People's Champion has no mercy for one of the guys who made his life a living Hell on his road to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship, so the P.R. Menace stalks Thomas, his fists clenched. COACH HE'S JUST A REFEREE! Vitamin X saves Thomas from certain doom by clotheslining PRL from behind! Thomas moves out of the way, and PRL hits the blue steel bars head-on! The People's Champ collapses onto the mat! COLE And Vitamin X from behind! Thomas Rodriguez was distracting Tha Puerto Rican and The X-Man took advantage! COACH THIS IS YOUR CHANCE, X! CLIMB! CLIMB! CLIMB! YOUR CAREER DEPENDS ON IT! PRINCESS STACEY THERE WE GO! CLIMB! CLIMB! CLIMB NOW! CLIMB NOW! THOMAS RODRIGUEZ GO! CLIMB! GO AHEAD AND CLIMB! Vitamin X checks to make sure that Tha Puerto Rican is incapacitated, and then crawls over to start climbing the steel cage. COACH GO X, GO! VX uses the ring ropes to pull himself up. COACH LIKE THE RUNGS OF A LADDER! PUT ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER! Princess Stacey is freaking out, feeling the Title about to change hands! The crowd is anxious, worried for The Great One, who is lying flat on his back on the mat! VX stops to catch his breath and wipe the sweat off of his brow. COACH CLIMB! GO UP! Vitamin X climbs the turnbuckles. He then grabs ahold of the blue steel bars and starts climbing the cage. As he does this, Tha Puerto Rican starts crawling towards X, something Thomas Rodriguez doesn't notice. COLE Vitamin X looking to win the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship and keep his career in tact! He is looking to maintain his career and win his first World Heavyweight Title by climbing OVER the top of the cage! COACH DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! "P.R.!" "P.R.!" COACH IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK THIS TIME, LIGHTNING BOLTS! P.R. IS FINISHED! WE GOT A NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION AND HIS NAME IS VITAMIN X! COLE Or is it, Coach? COACH WHAT!? With the crowd chanting his name, Tha Puerto Rican crawls closer and closer to Vitamin X. Thomas Rodriguez is too busy rooting X on to notice PRL getting onto his left knee. COACH JUST A LITTLE MORE! Vitamin X is at the top of the steel cage. The crowd is going nuts! Vitamin X jumps onto some blue steel bars and then climbs a little more. PRL gets to his feet. COACH HE'S ALMOST THERE! WE'RE GONNA HAVE A NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! Vitamin X puts his right leg over the top of the steel cage. COACH YES! Vitamin X sits on the top of the steel cage, and then puts his left leg over the top of the steel cage. COACH YES!! Vitamin X is now on the outside of the steel cage! COACH HE'S GONNA DO IT! Vitamin X starts climbing down the steel cage-- --CAUGHT BY THA PUERTO RICAN!!! "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH OH NO! OH NO! OH NO! OH NO! COLE Tha Puerto Rican has captured Vitamin X on the top of the cage! He's in very dangerous territory up there! COACH HE WAS ALMOST THERE! PRL grabs a hold of Vitamin X's hair and pulls him back up towards the top of the steel cage. He keeps pulling Vitamin X's hair until X is hanging over the top of the steel cage! Princess Stacey looks on horrified as her boyfriend hangs on the top of the steel cage with his body inside of the steel cage and his legs dangling outside of the steel cage! COLE Half of Vitamin X is inside of the ring, half of him is on the outside! COACH OH GOD NO! PRL punches VX several times! He hammers away at The X-Man's face, severely weakening him! PRL grabs X's head and slams it into the steel blue bars! With that, Vitamin X is knocked out cold! COLE Vitamin X just had his head SLAMMED into the steel cage! COACH OH MY GOD HE COULD HAVE A CONCUSSION! COLE Vitamin X is fighting for his career here, but that may have been the final nail in the coffin of his career! COACH DON'T JINX HIM! With Vitamin X hanging unconscious over the top of the steel cage, Tha Puerto Rican decides that now is the time to make his exit, so he uses the top ring rope as a springboard to launch him towards the top of the cage...but gets stopped by Thomas Rodriguez when he grabs PR's left foot! PR goes back onto the top ring rope! COLE Look at this! Look at what THE REFEREE is doing! COACH Thomas is the best referee EVER! Thomas Rodriguez holds on tight to P.R.'s left foot...so P.R. kicks Thomas Rodriguez in the chest with his right foot! Thomas loses his grip on Puerto's left foot and goes flying to the other side of the ring! COACH THOMAS! Princess Stacey is going nuts on the outside, so is the crowd, but for a different reason than Stacey! PRL uses the top ring rope as a springboard to launch himself towards the top of the cage, and is successful this time! PRL climbs a few more inches, and then puts his right leg over the top of the steel cage. COLE Vitamin X's career might be over in a few seconds! Vitamin X is unconscious! Tha Puerto Rican is almost out of the steel cage! Thomas Rodriguez gets right back up and grabs PRL's left foot again! PRL tries to shake Thomas off of his foot, but the scrawny referee surprises Tha Puerto Rican by holding on tight! PRL continues trying to break free of the ref's grasp, but Thomas pulls down on PRL's left foot, causing PRL to be forced back into the ring. PRL stands on the top ring rope, holding onto the steel blue bars. PRL tries to kick Thomas off of him--BUT HE GETS LOW BLOWED BY THOMAS RODRIGUEZ!!! COACH THOMAS! COLE Thomas Rodriguez with the save for Vitamin X! Tha Puerto Rican holds his crotch in pain. Unfortunately, this means that he is no longer holding the blue steel bars, which means that Tha Puerto Rican has nowhere to go but down, which means that PRL's crotch lands right on the top ring rope! COACH Double the pleasure, double the fun! COLE Right in The People's Jewels! PRL slips off of the top ring rope and falls onto the mat, holding his crotch in horrible pain! Thomas Rodriguez nods his head, dusts his hands and crosses his arms, a job well done. COLE Thomas Rodriguez has shown more guts in this one match than he has in his entire six year career in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! COACH When everything is on the line, you go all out! PRL is still lying on the mat following those brutal back-to-back shots to the groin! So Thomas Rodriguez climbs the turnbuckles, and then shimmies across the top ring rope until he is near Vitamin X. Thomas then takes a deep breath, gulps, sighs, and then takes another deep breath. With sweat pouring down his face, Thomas Rodriguez climbs the steel cage until he is standing underneath Vitamin X's face. Once there, Thomas desperately tries to wake Vitamin X up. THOMAS RODRIGUEZ GET UP X! COME ON! GET UP! Thomas shakes X's shoulders, but The X-Man isn't moving! Thomas screams at X to wake up, but that doesn't work either! Thomas then tries waking X up by shaking his head. That also doesn't work. He then tries to push Vitamin X's body off of the top of the steel cage so that he can fall to the ground. COACH WAIT A MINUTE, THOMAS! LET'S NOT GO TOO FAR NOW! HE'S UNCONSCIOUS! Thomas tries and tries to push Vitamin X's body off of the top of the steel cage, but is unsuccessful because he is so weak! The crowd is rooting for PRL to get back into the match, but so far, their chants fail to revitalize the World Heavyweight Champion! Thomas tries again and again, and throws a temper tantrum when he is unable to get Vitamin X's body off of the top of the cage! COLE Thomas trying to get his former stable-mate back into the match! Thomas trying to give Vitamin X his first World Heavyweight Championship and keep his career going for another day! COACH If PRL can do it, so can Vitamin X! I BELIEVE IN YOU, X! I BELIEVE IN YOU! Thomas keeps trying to get Vitamin X to wake up! But he is unable to! And Thomas' attempts come to an end when Tha Puerto Rican punches Thomas in his right knee! This causes Thomas to fall off of the top ring rope and land with his feet planted firmly onto the mat! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH Drats! Tha Puerto Rican nails Thomas Rodriguez with a Rock-style punch to the temple! And then another! And another! And another! PRL lays the smackdown on Thomas Rodriguez! COACH HE'S JUST A REFEREE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Tha Puerto Rican continues punching Thomas Rodriguez repeatedly in the face with Rock punches! He then grabs Thomas by his curly black hair and then charges forward with him, throwing Thomas Rodriguez head-first into the steel cage! COACH PRL JUST ATTACKED THE REFEREE! COLE WHO ATTACKED HIM FIRST! COACH SO WHAT!? IT'S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING! Thomas staggers forward... KICK WHAM P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111 COACH AAH! COLE P.R. Nightmare! P.R. Nightmare on the referee! P.R. Nightmare on Thomas Rodriguez! COACH Poor little Thomas! Tha Puerto Rican KIPS UP~! and then taunts Thomas Rodriguez, who is laid out on the mat! Puerto Rican then turns his attention back to Vitamin X, who is still hanging over the top of the steel cage! PRL climbs the turnbuckles, and then shimmies across the top ring rope until he is near Vitamin X. PRL grabs ahold of Vitamin X's hair and then pulls him back into the ring. Princess Stacey is shaking her head "NO! NO! NO!" as she watches from the outside. COLE Thomas Rodriguez is out cold! Tha Puerto Rican’s Title is on the line! Vitamin X's career is on the line! PRL punches Vitamin X in the face several times as he hangs vicariously over the top of the steel cage! He punches X again and again! COLE Trying to pull Vitamin X back inside! Tha Puerto Rican slams Vitamin X's face into the blue steel bars! He then does it a second time! And a third time gets the job done as Vitamin X FLIPS OVER THE TOP OF THE STEEL CAGE AND LANDS FLAT ON HIS BACK ON THE MAT!!! COACH OH MY GOD! COLE From the top of the steel cage all the way to the mat! What a fall Vitamin X took! COACH HE'S PROBABLY BROKEN EVERY BONE IN HIS BODY~! Tha Puerto Rican takes a moment to catch his breath. He then jumps off of the top ring rope and lands on the mat. Tha Puerto Rican paces back and forth in the ring. The crowd is FIRED UP~! Tha Puerto Rican sees Vitamin X lying in the center of the ring, so PRL decides that there's no better time than now to...kick Vitamin X's right arm onto his chest. "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH OH NO! WE ARE GOING TO SEE IT! Tha Puerto Rican removes his right elbow pad and then throws it OVER the top of the steel cage and into the crowd. Tha Puerto Rican does some weird hand signals, and then bounces off of the ropes, leaps over Vitamin X, and then bounces off of the opposite ropes. COLE It's now time for the most electrifying move in professional wrestling: The Puerto Rico Elbow! Tha Puerto Rican stops in his tracks, points to the crowd...and then drops The Puerto Rico Elbow on Vitamin X! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE The Puerto Rico Elbow! The Puerto Rico Elbow connects on Vitamin X! Vitamin X is OUT! COACH COME ON! COME ON! GET UP! GET UP NOW! GET UP NOW DAMNIT! The crowd is going nuts! Tha Puerto Rican rolls through and gets up, yelling at Vitamin X. He does the "You can't see me!" hand gesture. Tha Puerto Rican looks at the crowd... "THAT'S IT!" "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Could this be it? Could we be seeing the end of Vitamin X's career? COACH OH GOD NO! Tha Puerto Rican points to the steel cage, and then starts walking towards the cage. PRL grabs the top ring rope, causing the crowd to go wild. PRL places his left foot on the second ring rope. PRL then grabs ahold of the blue steel bars. COACH NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! PRL places his right foot on the top ring rope. PRL then places his left foot on the top ring rope. PRL grabs the top of the steel cage. PRL takes a deep breath. The crowd is at a fever pitch. COACH GET UP X! Princess Stacey is crying on the outside. Tha Puerto Rican uses the top ring rope to springboard a few feet up the steel cage. PRL climbs up the steel cage so that half of his body is near the top of the steel cage. P.R. puts his right foot over the top of the steel cage. COACH X NEEDS SOME HELP! COLE PRL is up! Tha Puerto Rican puts his left foot over the top of the steel cage so that he is now on the outside of the steel cage! COLE He's almost there! Vitamin X is out cold! COACH AAAHHHHHHH! COLE Can he make it!? Can he retain his Title!? Tha Puerto Rican climbs down the outside of the steel cage. He comes closer and closer to the ground. COACH OH GOD! Princess Stacey screams as PRL comes closer to the ground. Tha Puerto Rican keeps climbing down getting closer... ...and closer... ...and closer... ...and closer... ...and closer... ...and closer... THA PUERTO RICAN DROPS OFF OF THE STEEL CAGE ONTO THE GROUND CAUSING PRINCESS STACEY TO BAWL IMMEDIATELY~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111 "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" *DING DING DING* (8:07) COLE The match is over and so is Vitamin X's career! COACH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! "Know Your Role 2000" begins playing. Tha Puerto Rican stumbles a bit, but regains his balance. He sneers at Vitamin X. Princess Stacey is still crying her eyes out. BUFFER Here is your winner...and STILL One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the Woooooorrrrrlllllllllllddddddddddddddddddddd...THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! AND as a result of this match...Vitamin X MUST RETIRE from professional wrestling FOREVER! COACH OH GOD NO! THIS IS AWFUL! COLE Tha Puerto Rican has retained the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title again! He is STILL the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion and now he has also ended Vitamin X's career! The X-Man is history! COACH WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! COLE Are you crying, Coach!? COACH WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING!? COLE Oh dear Lord. Earl Hebner hands Tha Puerto Rican the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt. Tha Puerto Rican raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt into the air with his right hand while he "smells the electricity" ala The Rock. Earl Hebner raises Tha Puerto Rican's hands in victory while the crowd cheers. COLE Thomas Rodriguez tried and failed! Princess Stacey tried and failed! Vitamin X is no longer an employed wrestler of the One And Only AngleSault Thread! His career is OVER! COACH THIS IS EVEN WORST THAN ANGLEMANIA VII! VITAMIN X IS GONE! OH NO! COLE Vitamin X has been retired at the hands of Tha Puerto Rican, his former leader and friend! How ironic is that!? COACH A LITTLE TOO IRONIC! PRL runs his mouth to no one in particular. PRL walks around ringside, carrying the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt with his left hand and slapping the fans' hands with his right hand. P.R. then reaches the timekeeper's table and grabs a microphone. Princess Stacey is bawling as Vitamin X and Thomas Rodriguez both lie on the mat, unconscious. Princess Stacey demands to be let into the steel cage. COLE Princess Stacey might be out of a job too! Without Vitamin X, what does she have left in the OAOAST? COACH A position as co-color commentator? COLE When has she ever shown talent for that? COACH You're right! NO MORE PRINCESS STACEY! THIS SITUATION JUST GOT A MILLION TIMES WORST! COLE The Gold Digger might need to find another Sugar Daddy now! COACH SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! After much whining, Earl Hebner lets Princess Stacey go inside the cage. She completely ignores Thomas Rodriguez and tends to her pained boyfriend. The Princess is on her knees over her Prince, crying her eyes out as she holds him in her arms. COLE Vitamin X has failed to become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! He will retired never having won a World Heavyweight Title! COACH Just rub it in why don't'cha? This is terrible! COLE For you and Princess Stacey, maybe? But for these fans, it's a dream come true! COACH WHO CARES ABOUT THESE FANS!? VITAMIN X IS GONE! THAT IS TERRIBLE! TERRIBLE! TERRIBLE! UGH! I HATE THA PUERTO RICAN! I HATE HIM SO DAMN MUCH! Tha Puerto Rican walks around ringside with the microphone in his right hand and the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his left hand. PRL then walks up the entrance ramp, a smirk on his face as "Know Your Role 2000" continues playing. COLE Vitamin X's five year career in the OAOAST ends at the hands of Tha Puerto Rican! COACH I KNOW, COLE! PRL stands on the entrance stage and smiles. He brings the microphone to his lips. THA PUERTO RICAN Cut my music! "Know Your Role 2000" dies down. The crowd cheers loudly. Princess Stacey is still checking on Vitamin X. Thomas Rodriguez has not moved a muscle since being hit with the P.R. Nightmare. COACH Now he is going to speak! Oh great! COLE The Champ has plenty to say! Always! THA PUERTO RICAN Now, everybody, let's give a round of applause for Vitamin X, who has just competed in his LAST professional wrestling match! Give him a round of applause why don't'cha? "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH Rude New Yorkers. I'm shocked. COLE STOP. Princess Stacey is confused by PRL's comments. So confused that she doesn't react with disgust when the thousands in attendance boo her boyfriend. Instead, Princess Stacey starts dragging Vitamin X out of the ring. Tha Puerto Rican listens to the boos and chuckles. PRL Good. Good. Good. Now, Vitamin X, I know that you can hear me even though you are unconscious. SOOOO, with that in mind, here is my little going away present. My final goodbye. My 'thanks for the memories' message. Since you are on your way to the retirement home, allow me to *serenade* you as you begin your journey there! COACH What!? PRL Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. A-A-ACKUM! Ahem. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Okay. #Na, Na, Na, Na Na, Na, Na, Na Hey! Hey! Hey! Goodbye! Na, Na, Na, Na Na, Na, Na, Na Hey! Hey! Hey! Goodbye!# COACH Oh no! Not that STUPID song! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is saying goodbye to Vitamin X in his own special way! THA PUERTO RICAN (singing) #Na, Na, Na, Na Na, Na, Na, Na Hey! Hey! Hey! Goodbye! Na, Na, Na, Na Na, Na, Na, Na Hey! Hey! Hey! Goodbye!# Come on, join in! You all know the words! The thousands in attendance join Tha Puerto Rican in singing to Vitamin X "The Goodbye Song". As they do this, PRL dances a little jig on the entrance stage! Earl Hebner has the steel cage door open, so that Princess Stacey can drag Vitamin X's carcass out of the ring. She is devastated while doing so. Thomas Rodriguez remains on the mat unconscious. COLE #Na, Na, Na, Na Na, Na, Na, Na Hey! Hey! Hey! Goodbye!# COACH So not cool. COLE Come on! It's fun! COACH Ugh. Princess Stacey is on the floor pulling Vitamin X out of the steel cage. THA PUERTO RICAN AND THE CROWD (singing) #Na, Na, Na, Na Na, Na, Na, Na Hey! Hey! Hey! Goodbye! Na, Na, Na, Na Na, Na, Na, Na Hey! Hey! Hey! Goodbye! Na, Na, Na, Na Na, Na, Na, Na Hey! Hey! Hey! Goodbye! Na, Na, Na, Na Na, Na, Na, Na Hey! Hey! Hey! Goodbye!# THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP...HAS...SPO-KUN~!!! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" "Know Your Role 2000" starts playing again. The crowd cheers loudly. Tha Puerto Rican throws the microphone onto the top of the entrance stage. Tha Puerto Rican then looks at the crowd, smiles, and nods his head. Tha Puerto Rican raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head and lets out a mighty roar to a LOUD pop from the fans. Tha Puerto Rican sticks his tongue out. Tha Puerto Rican smiles a wide smile. COLE PRL with another successful Title defense, ending Vitamin X's career in the process! COACH *Whimpers* Princess Stacey has pulled Vitamin X out of the steel cage. VX is still unconscious so, Princess Stacey has to hold him up. Earl Hebner closes the steel cage door, leaving Thomas Rodriguez to lie on the mat by himself. Tha Puerto Rican slings the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his right shoulder. He chuckles as he watches Princess Stacey struggle to carry Vitamin X back to the entrance. PRL trash talks his two former running buddies. He then gives Vitamin X and Princess Stacey one middle finger each! COLE That's Tha Puerto Rican's way of waving goodbye! COACH Ha. Ha. Ha. Not funny. Tha Puerto Rican runs his mouth some more. He mentions that he did indeed "lay the smackdown on Vitamin X's candyass!" Earl Hebner helps Princess Stacey carry the lifeless Vitamin X up the entrance ramp. Princess Stacey is too crushed over Vitamin X's loss to notice PRL running his mouth or the crowd's lewd remarks. COLE And it looks like Princess Stacey will need to find a new line of work! There's always the street. COACH COLE! COACH What!? It was RIGHT THERE! STEPHANIE TANNER How rude! Tha Puerto Rican raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt into the air with his right hand. He smiles as the crowd cheers. Tha Puerto Rican blows a kiss to the fans and throws up a peace sign with his left hand. Tha Puerto Rican nods and thanks the fans for coming out and supporting him. Tha Puerto Rican then applauds the fans who applaud him back. Tha Puerto Rican slings the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his right shoulder, pounds his chest in a sign of respect with his left fist, raises his left fist into the air and nods his head, and then turns around and exits through the curtains. COLE Tha Puerto Rican dodged a fatal bullet here tonight! COACH IT'S OVER! IT'S REALLY OVER! COLE Indeed, it is over, Coach! Vitamin X has been RETIRED by Tha Puerto Rican! He will never wrestle in the OAOAST EVER AGAIN! Earl Hebner and Princess Stacey continue helping Vitamin X up the entrance ramp. COACH Look at poor X! His dream has been shattered! His plan has backfired! IT'S OVER! OH GOD! Vitamin X is a broken mess! Look at this! THIS IS AWFUL! IT'S REALLY OVER! COLE Tha Puerto Rican has managed to get a giant monkey off of his back! Tha Puerto Rican has survived! Tha Puerto Rican has overcome the odds! Tha Puerto Rican has overcome another obstacle put in front of him, this time by his former right hand man! Vitamin X has been sent packing by the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! Tha Puerto Rican with yet another victory here on the Big Apple Spectacular! COACH Goodbye Vitamin X! It's been fun! Earl Hebner remains neutral, but Princess Stacey is sniffling as she helps carry the unconscious Vitamin X up to the entrance stage. Thomas Rodriguez remains alone in the ring, knocked out on the mat with the blue steel bars still surrounding him. Princess Stacey and Earl Hebner help Vitamin X through the curtains while the crowd continues cheering and "Know Your Role 2000" continues playing. The OAOAST Big Apple Spectacular logo flashes across the screen. The match-up graphic for Zack Malibu vs. Nathaniel Black appears on screen. The crowd cheers loudly. COLE Stay tuned because coming up next, Zack Malibu will take on Nathaniel Black in a much anticipated rematch! The main event of the Big Apple Spectacular is just a heartbeat away, so stay with us! We will be right back after a word from our sponsors! Goodbye Vitamin X. Forever. FADE TO BLACK COMMERCIALS

BIG APPLE SPECTACULAR IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY Dicks, Rich Pricks & Beautiful Chicks Live from The Alamodome August 31st San Antonio, Texas VS COLE Our big 8-man tag is up next, with a lot at stake! COACH Absolutely, this match could change the entire fabric of the OAOAST as we know it right now! COLE Let's go up to Michael Buffer! *DING DING DING* (slow and dramatic) BUFFER LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen...this is one of our feature attractions at the Big Apple Spectacular. Tonight, eight of the top superstars in the OAOAST will step into the ring, in two teams of four...at stake, four rewards, one for each man, courtesy of the President of the OAOAST, Josie Baker. ARE YOU READY? *crowd cheers* BUFFER New York City...ARRRRRRRRRRRRE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADYYYYYYYYYYYY????? *crowd cheers* BUFFER Then for the thousands here in attendance, FREE OF CHARGE, in Central Park...and the millions watching around the world...there's only one thing left to say. Ladies and gentlemen...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRRRRRRREADY TO RRRRRRRRRRRRRUMMMMMMMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! by Kansas hits, and Alfdogg leads the Deadly Alliance into the entryway, to a chorus of boos, with some cheers scattered around. BUFFER Coming to the ring at this time...at a combined weight of 942 pounds! In April, the reunion of this foursome sent shockwaves through the OAOAST...and tonight, they look to take those waves to a whole nother level. Ladies and gentlemen, introducing what is arguably the most celebrated stable in the history of the OAOAST...OAOAST Heartland champion, SANDMAN9000! World tag team champions, THUNDERKID and REJECT! And the cornerstone of the group, former OAOAST Heavyweight champion of the WORLD, ALFDOGG...collectively, they are the DEADLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIANCE!!!!! Alf raises his arms as he walks down the aisle, followed by Thunderkid and Reject walking side by side, taunting the fans and showing off their belts, and Sandman trailing the group, looking focused. COACH And Buffer said it, and I personally don't think it's arguable...this is the greatest faction in the history of this company, you're looking at right here! Alf rolls into the ring, and poses, followed by Reject and TK, who pose in opposite corners with their belts. Sandman rolls in next, and rips off the bandanas. COLE A fantastic foursome, there's no doubt about it! The DA prepares for the match, as Makes Me Wonder by Maroon 5 hits, leading D*LUX into the ring area. COLE And Central Park on their feet for Shayne and Tyler! BUFFER Their opponents...at a combined weight of 881 pounds...introducing first, hailing from Detroit and Auburn Hills, Michigan, respectively...SHAYNE BRAVE and TYLER BRYANT, collectively known as DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE * LLLLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!! Shayne and Tyler slap hands with the fans as they make their way down the aisle, then roll into the ring and pose for the fans. COLE Two tremendous tag teams in this one, of course the reigning tag team champions on the other side, Thunderkid and Reject, along with these two men! *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* The crowd erupts, as by Disturbed plays, and the Metrosexual Monster makes his appearance. BUFFER From Greenville, South Carolina...he is the Metrosexual Monster...BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMOTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! COLE And of course Bo will tie up with Alfdogg in the next round of the Money in the Bank tournament in a first time ever one-on-one matchup, but we're gonna get a little preview here tonight, as well! Bo flexes the muscles, causing a massive pyro explosion, and possibly one in Cole's pants, as well. He stalks to the ring, pointing the finger at Alf, who waves at him to bring it on. Bo's music dies down, as the crowd anticipates the final entrance. COLE Get ready for this eruption! Rock the Casbah by Trust Company plays, and the crowd does indeed erupt, as Leon makes his way out. BUFFER And from Grand Rapids, Michigan..."SILKY SMOOTH" LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODE ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!! The camera focuses in on Reject's face in the ring, as he shoots an icy glare at Leon. COLE And as Leon comes to the ring, you look in the eyes of Reject, as he looks down at the man he'll be facing next in that tournament! And he'll get a little taste of him here tonight, as well! COACH He got a little taste of somethin' else a few weeks ago! COLE Don't start. Leon high-fives his teammates, and then they start to discuss strategy. After brief discussion, everyone steps out of the ring, leaving Leon and TK, as the referee calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COLE And Leon will start it off for his team, along with Thunderkid! Leon and TK circle the ring, then stop and slowly move in on each other. Both men slowly move a hand in towards the other. Unfortunately for Leon, he stopped with his back turned to the DA corner, and Reject steps through the ropes and drills him with a knee to the back! COLE And look at that cheap shot by Reject, right out of the gate! COACH He got Leon from behind, just like... COLE Shut up. TK hammers away on Leon with forearms to the back, and a European uppercut, then backs him into the ropes and whips him across. Leon ducks a clothesline, and delivers one of his own! The crowd is pumped, as TK gets to his feet and throws a right hand, which is ducked by Leon, who picks up TK in an atomic drop, then drops him across the top rope! TK Leon then grabs the top rope, and shakes it until TK falls off back into the ring. Leon then delivers a flurry of punches, and finishes off with a dropkick! Leon calls out to the crowd, which responds positively. He then wrings the arm of TK, forcing him down to the mat with a hammerlock. He cinches in the hold, then tags in Bo! COLE And here comes the Metrosexual Monster! Bo takes over the hold, and drives some knees into the arm, before tagging in Shayne, who comes in with stomps to the arm, followed by a kneedrop, then tags in Tyler, who, as Shane holds, springs in with a guillotine legdrop! COLE Look at the teamwork here, everyone in the ring during this sequence! Shayne drives in some more knees, then tags Leon back in, who drives a fist into the arm, then tags Bo. Bo backs into the ropes, and runs across the ring with a jumping stomp to the arm. He follows with more knees, then brings him to his feet and tags Shayne, who scales the ropes, and comes down with a double axhandle onto the arm! He then wrings the arm, and tags Tyler. COACH I gotta admit, this team has looked great thus far. Everyone on that side has been in the ring twice now, and it's been all TK on the Deadly Alliance side so far! Tyler takes TK down with an armdrag, then hooks an armbar. TK works his way to his feet, as Tyler continues to work the arm. He wrings it one more time, but TK manages to scoop him up, and drop him throat-first across the top rope! TK then tags in Alf, holding his left arm to his side. COLE TK finally out of that predicament, and now it's Alf in there! Alf executes a gutwrench suplex, then backs into the ropes, and goes for an elbowdrop, but Tyler rolls out of the way! COLE And no one home on that elbow! Tyler gets to his feet, and delivers right hands to Alf, then executes an inverted atomic drop, followed by a spinning wheel kick! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Tyler drags Alf over to the corner, and tags in Leon. COLE Here we go again! Leon hooks the legs of Alf, positioning him towards the corner, and slingshots him into it! Alf staggers out of the corner, and Leon hits him with a dropkick from behind, sending him into a throat-first position across the ropes! COACH Uh-oh... Leon does a little dance, then runs to the ropes, and leaps onto the back of Alf! COLE CALL THAT BITCH BOJANGLES~! Leon then points to Bo, as the crowd cheers, and tags the big man in! COLE Here we go! Bo against Alf! Alf backs into a corner, then, as Bo approaches him, thumbs him in the eye! He follows with a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! However, Bo fights right back with a right hand! Alf responds with another chop! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Bo then starts firing off a flurry of punches, dazing Alf, before clotheslining him to the floor! COLE And Bo doing a number on Alf here in Central Park! COACH Sure, it's not hard after Leon softened him up! We'll see what happens when both guys are fresh! Bo follows Alf out, and rams his face into the steel steps! He then tosses him back inside, and Alf immediately rolls over to the corner and tags in Sandman. COACH Oh, this ought to be good! COLE Sandman against Bohemoth, a very intriguing matchup, indeed! Sandman and Bo circle the ring, then tie up. Bo backs Sandman into a corner, but doesn't break the hold, so the referee steps in. When he does, Sandman reaches over his back, and connects with a cheap shot right hand! COLE Sandman with a cheap shot there, over the referee's back! Sandman delivers a dropkick to the knee, then as Bo is on his knees, runs to the ropes and catches him with another dropkick! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Sandman picks up Bo, and whips him into the ropes. Bo ducks a clothesline, then turns around and floors Sandman with one of his own! COLE Bo fighting back now! Bo whips Sandman into a corner, and charges, but Sandman gets his feet up! Sandman then picks up Bo, and tags in Reject. COLE And here's Reject in the match for the first time! Reject comes in, and delivers some kicks to Bo, then whips him into the ropes, and executes a dropkick! COACH Big-time dropkick from the R-Man! However, Bo lands right in his corner, and tags in Leon! Reject quickly hops through the ropes to the floor. COLE Oh, give me a break! Reject gives a Dikembe Mutombo-esque finger wag to the ringside fans, then slides back in long enough to tag TK before sliding back out. COLE So much for that big confrontation between Reject and Leon here at the Big Apple Spectacular! I can't believe Reject! TK and Leon tieup, and TK backs him into the corner. He eases off, then throws a big right...which Leon ducks, and starts firing off rights of his own! Leon then executes an Inverted Atomic Drop, followed by a rolling clothesline! COLE Leon with THE SHACK ATTACK~! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Leon grabs a side headlock, but TK shoves him across. TK drops down, then gets up with his back to Leon, turning around as the two collide in mid-ring and go down! COACH Whoa! COLE Big collision in mid-ring! The referee begins a count. 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! TK begins to stir, and scoots over to tag Reject. Reject grabs Leon's foot, but Leon breaks free of Leon's grip, jumping across the ring to tag in Bo! COLE Reject wanted in there while Leon was down, but instead he'll get a rested Bohemoth! Reject begs off, but to no avail, as Bo delivers rights to the gut. Bo whips him across the ring, and catches him with a jumping shoulderblock! COACH I can't believe the way Leon just DOVE out of the ring to escape Reject! What a coward! COLE Bo follows up with a running powerslam! Cover... 1... 2... Bo gets up to meet TK, flooring him with a right hand! He then tags in Leon! COLE Maybe this time Reject won't run away! Leon backs Reject into the ropes, where Alf tags himself in. COACH Nope, Alf got the tag, and I don't think Leon knows it! Reject reverses an Irish whip, then slides outside, as Alf steps in, and catches Leon with a AA SPINEBUSTER~! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Big move from Alf right there, and now Leon in trouble! Alf backs Leon into a corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And a third! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Leon sinks in the corner, guarding his chest, but Alf pulls him up and tags Sandman. COLE And now Sandman in there, who just picked up a win over Leon a couple weeks ago! COACH Yeah, it's a shame that two crooked riot guards had to disrupt such a great Heartland title match! COLE Coach...you know as well as I do that it was Reject and TK under those masks! COACH You're right...I don't know that at all, and neither do you! And you've got no proof! Sandman executes BOOT SCRAPES~! on Leon on the mat, then sets up a suplex, but Leon counters into a small package! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Wow, Leon almost stole one there! Sandman catches Leon with a clothesline coming up, then tags in Reject. COLE And look, now Reject more than happy to come in there! Reject picks Leon up to his feet, then jumps up and catches him right in the face with a dropkick! He then climbs to the second buckle, and poses for the fans, drawing a mixed reaction. COLE Lots of Reject fans out here! COACH Well, we're in the Big Apple, Cole! These are his home people! Reject jumps down, and drops a knee into the sternum of Leon, then covers... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Reject then grabs Leon's legs, hooking the right underneath the left in figure-four position, then reaching through with the right arm and locking hands, folding the left leg over, then turns Leon over onto his shoulders and face as he stands over him! COLE Look at this! COACH You know, Reject told me recently he was working on a submission hold, this must be it! This could be it for Leon if he can't get his hands underneath himself! COLE Kind of like an Inverted Texas Cloverleaf that Reject has on here! As Reject leans down on the hold, Leon fades. The referee checks his arm... ONE!!! TWO!!! ...Leon holds through on the third lift! COLE He's not done yet! Leon manages to get the hand under him, then slowly brings the other hand around, and pushes himself up! He manages to force his way into his corner, and makes a tag to Shayne! COLE And he makes the tag! Reject drops the hold and throws a right hand, which is blocked and returned by Shayne. Shayne fires off some more rights, then whips Reject into the corner. Reject staggers out, as Shayne runs to the ropes behind him, and catches him with a BULLDOG~! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! Shayne then whips Reject into the ropes, but puts his head down, and Reject delivers a kick, then tags in Alf. Alf sizes up Shayne, and goes for a SUPERKICK~!...but Shayne ducks, and scoops up Alf for a SAMOAN DROP~! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Shayne backs Alf into the corner, and climbs to the middle rope, delivering punches! 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! 9!!! 10!!! Shayne then hops down, and attempts an Irish whip. Alf reverses, and Shayne hops to the middle rope, then jumps back into Alf...who catches him, and takes him over with a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COACH Yeah! COLE Nice counter by Alf! Alf tags in TK, who comes in and lifts Shayne up in a PRESS SLAM~!, tossing him to the mat. He picks Shayne up, and whips him into the ropes, catching him with a BICYCLE KICK~! He then tags in Sandman, who lays in some stomps, then tosses him to the outside. Reject comes into the ring to distract the opposing team, which allows Alf to assault Shayne on the floor, dropping him sternum-first across the guardrail! COLE And Alf with the attack on the outside, dropping Shayne across the rail! Alf rolls Shayne back inside, where Sandman drags him out, and locks in the H8 LOCK~!!!!!11111 COACH Oh, this is it, the H8 Lock is hooked in! Several wrestlers spill into the ring, and in the confusion, Tyler drills Sandman from behind, forcing a break of the hold! COACH Come on, ref! COLE The referee has lost control of this one! Finally, everyone retreats, and Sandman tags in TK. TK stomps away on Shayne, then sets up the THUNDERBOLT DDT~!!!!!11111 COACH This is it, Cole! However, Shayne blocks, and executes a vertical suplex! Shayne then crawls over to his corner, but TK grabs his foot. Reject then tries to come in, but is intercepted by the referee as Shayne makes the tag to Bo! COLE And the Metrosexual Monster is in! COACH No, he's not! Sure enough, the referee turns around and forces Bo out, having not seen the tag. COLE Tough break for Shayne Brave right there! TK whips Shayne into the ropes, and executes a clothesline! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! COLE But he's still fighting! TK tags in Alf, who sets up Shayne in the corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Alf then brings him out and executes a T-BONE SUPLEX~!! COACH And now Alf finally looking to finish it! COLE No, he's gonna make a tag here! COACH Not yet! Reject comes in, and joins Alf in a double Irish whip, and double clothesline, then tags TK, who picks up Shayne in a hangman's hold. COACH Here it comes, my favorite move! Reject measures Shayne, and delivers a roundhouse kick to the midsection! COACH Yeah! The two then pick up Shayne and whip him into the ropes. COLE Come on, one of those guys has got to get out! Shayne ducks a double clothesline, and hits a double dropkick, catching each guy with one foot! COACH And now Shayne better make a tag! Reject rolls to the floor, as TK scoots over and tags Alf, who is met by Bo on the other side! COLE THERE'S THE TAG! Alf delivers right hands and chops to Bo, all of which has no effect on the big man, as he hammers Alf with BIG rights! COLE And Bo is a House Afire! Bo floors Alf with the MURDERLINE~! Cover... 1... 2... NO!!! Sandman makes the save! COLE Wow, this one may have been over right there! Sandman hammers on the back of Bo, then goes for an Irish whip, but Bo blocks and pulls him back in for a SPINEBUSTER~! Sandman rolls out of the ring, as Reject spins Bo around and delivers the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 COLE Reject with the Eulogy! Leon then trips Reject up, and hooks him in the LIONTAMER~!!!!!11111 COLE Liontamer by Leon, on his opponent next week, Reject! COACH Imagine the pain Maggie must be going through watching this! COLE Will you shut the fuck up? TK grabs Leon from behind, and drops him with the SCORPION DEATHDROP~!!!!!11111 COLE And now TK getting in on the party! D*LUX comes from behind TK, and hits him with ROCK YOUR BODY~! Tyler then sets up Reject for AS SEEN ON 60 MINUTES~!!!!!11111, as Shayne climbs to the top, while Sandman tosses Alf in a lighttube! COLE Wait a minute, turn around, ref! Alf cracks Tyler from behind with the lighttube, as Sandman trips up Shayne on the top rope! Alf then hooks Tyler from behind in a cobra clutch, then hooks his leg and executes a front russian legsweep! COLE And look at that move by Alf, the cover! 1... 2... 3!!! COLE DAMN IT! COACH The Deadly Alliance wins! All right! *DING DING DING* BUFFER The winners of the match...Alfdogg, Sandman9000, Thunderkid, and Reject...the DEADLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIANCE!!!!! COLE So the Deadly Alliance wins the favors from Josie Baker, thanks to that lighttube from Alf and Sandman! Alf starts to celebrate, but Bo gets to his feet behind him, with a look of intent on his face. He then spins Alf around, and delivers THE EROTIC AWAKENING OF B~!!!!!11111 COACH Look at this! COLE Bo giving Alf his just desserts right there, and perhaps a preview of their quarterfinal matchup in the Money in the Bank tournament! COACH What a sore loser! Reject pulls Alf out of the ring, as the Deadly Alliance retreats up the aisle, and raises his arms in victory. COACH It doesn't matter, Cole, as you see right there, the Deadly Alliance won this match! COLE And as a result, they each get one of those golden tickets, representing a favor from OAOAST President Josie Baker! As Shayne helps up Tyler, Bo stands facing the aisle, as Leon comes up and raises his hand, along with Shayne's, as plays in the background. NEXT WEEK ON HELDDOWN SECOND ROUND MONEY IN THE BANK ACTION KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS CUBAN WALL LEON RODEZ VS REJECT NEXT WEEK COMING UP NEXT OAOAST WORLD TITLE. STEEL CAGE. VITAMIN X VS PRL NEXT

Bon Jovi rocked that bitch proper, its only straight that we follow suit. In order to give back to our fictional community of fictional fans the Big Apple Spectacular will be a free show put on in Central Park's historic Great Lawn. The Lawn, which often features concerts by the New York Philharmonic and the Metropolitan Opera, supports crowds nearing the fifty thousands. Would that many people show up for a wrestling show? Sure! People show up for free shit all the time. They just leave after 15 minutes, when they realize why exactly the show is free. The Great Lawn actually holds the distinction of being the single largest design feature that was not part of the original Greensward Plan, as drawn up by Olmsted and Vaux. At that time it was the site of the Croton Reservoir, which had been built in 1842 and required the designers fit their vision for the park around its disconcertingly rectangular dimensions. The Lawn is at the center of Central Park from 80th-86th or 79th-85th depending on what counterfeit Gucci vendor you ask. What does that mean to you? Probably nothing, but its nice to know, ain't it? The night time is the right time a daytime view. Notice the absence of the homeless! Amy Adams singing on the great lawn in Enchanted. I fucks wit that movie on the daily, b. remember this replaces HD for that week! oh shit dont call mainevent because i'm pretty sure i gave that away months ago

awww snap! 4-6(7?) matches are already dunzo, it just may come up tonight! and, yep, the tour schedule says BIG APPLE SPECTACULAR 7/24 eeee sketch about half the matches are in so maybe we will wait till tomorrow afternoon. Word out.

As Erika Jane's Stars plays we see an overhead view of New York University alma mater in graduate studies as well as undergrad to Martin Scorsese, Adam Sandler, Oliver Stone, Kristen Bell, Molly Nerdly, and in two years me! The jovial mood of the festival like atmosphere is momentarily shattered the second the fast-paced flowing of “King Kong”'s rapping rolls into the vicinity. Images of Faqu's rampant brutality juxtaposed with the serenity of island scenes on mini-buildings turned video screens, welcome the barefoot monster himself onto the entrance stage. The Samoan lets out a mighty roar, loud enough to frighten nearby audience members, as he beats on his expansive chest. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following is our last first round match in the Money In The Bank Tournament! The winner of this contest will face Landon Maddix in the second round. Now making his to the ring from the Isle of Samoa! He weighs in at three hundred and one pounds and is one third of the six man champions... representing La Cucaracha Internacional... "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL"... FFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - QQUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! COACH Yo, I can understand how a guaranteed title shot would help any dude, what the hell would this guy buy with half a million dollars? COLE Hopefully his old personality! The six man champion dives into the ring, already salivating over the prospects of inflicting great bodily harm upon his opponent. He leaps to his feet and emits another primitive yell that draws a wave of fearful boos from the audience. COLE Well, we saw Landon Maddix, with a strong assist from Megan Skye and James Blonde, slide past Christian Wright. That means if Faqu wins he's moving on to Maddix, the leader of his stable. I really don't think that's a matchup that would sit well with Landon. With The Enterprise at their throats, and stables like the Deadly Alliance, the IRA, and Affirmative Action looming about its not a good idea to have any kind of dissension in your ranks. That's a match that could be disastrous for La Cucaracha Internacional. COACH Read the stats thread, it says right there under catchphrases and trademark gestures “we always have a plan!” Maddix has got this covered from all angles. COLE Yeah, but is Faqu going to be willing to listen to the reasoning behind Landon's plan? Its amazing they've kept him under control for this long. Huge bombs of pyro explode on the entrance stage, decorating the New York Night a hazy yellow and leaving behind fire that burns on both sides of the entrance stage. "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull burst out the speaker as The United States Champion, attired in orange basketball shorts long enough to qualify as pants and a Patrick Ewing Knicks jersey, rushes out onto the stage. With hands waving through the air, and mouth proclaiming his greatness, he works to get the audience fired up. COLE Colombian Heat with a chance to make history in this tournament. Not only could he be the first to hold the title of Mister Money In The Bank and be The US Champion, but if he wins the world title he'll be the first to be World Champion and US Champion at the same time. COACH If Heat wins this thing, and that's a huge ass if, PRL gonna find out who his real friends are right quick. Heat the type of dude to wait until his man gets thrown off the top of Madison Square garden than go cash in the title shot as he's being wheeled to the ER. Then he come around next day with ya belt on, sayin "aww, bro, heard you lost the title. that's bummin, bro." Dude is more two face than Harvey Dent. The street-wise Colombian rushes to both sides of the stage and throws his hands into air, a gesture that's happily mimicked by the fans on that side. With the crowd firmly behind him, Heat then hangs the belt over his shoulder and gives it a pat, and acknowledges the fans. As flames over a 3-d image of the country of Colombia appear on the video screens, Heat happily hand-slaps his way down the aisle. BUFFER And the opponent....Originally from Bogotá, Colombia, but now residing in Miami, Florida. He weighs in at one hundred and eighty pounds...the OAOAST UNITED STATES HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... CCOOOOOLLLLLLLOOOOOOOMMMMMBBIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAANN... HHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAATT!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" scream the audience as the Champion slides into the ring. There Faqu leans against the ropes regarding his foe with a violent disdain. But Heat pays the snarling opponent on the end of the battleground no mind, as he requests and receives a microphone for his prematch spiel. BAM! COACH HHAAHAA! Niggas is goin' in! No homo. A park full of shocked spectators recoil at the vicious lariat Faqu laid into Heat's back. Even more revolting than the cheapshot is the drool that seeps out of Faqu's mouth as he throws a primal growl into the night sky. His cry is so anamalistic that those that brought their dogs to the free show, find the canines matching the feral howling. While the owners try to calm their pooches, Heat tries to calm the throbbing headache Faqu has left him with. That task grows harder when Faqu lifts him off the canvas only to send him toppling backwards with an open handed slap. Seconds after hitting the mat, Heat tries to get back to his feet. But the incredible pain he's in causes him to clumsily stumble back to the ground, where he chokes back shouts of anguish. COLE Heat hasn't faced someone who hits as hard as Faqu in a long time, and that can be a problem because Faqu doesn't exactly go for the whole feeling out process. COACH Heat hasn't faced anyone in a while period! 'Cause he soft! He afraid to get down with the big boys, so he puts himself on TV once every couple weeks, once a month. But when he gets in the ring with real dudes, we see the bitch in him. He a poor man's PRL, and PRL is already a poor man's PRL so there ya go. Heat makes a slow trek towards the ropes, hoping he can use them in his effort to get back upright. However, its Faqu who gets Heat back on his feet, roughly lifting him up by the seat of his tights. Then the island monster uses the ropes to nearly suffocate Heat, sandwiching the US champion's neck between his mammoth arm and the cables. Charles Robinson immediately warns about a DQ, but those words mean nothing to Faqu as he chokes Heat well beyond the allowed five count. “BOOOOOO!” Finally, the beast allows Heat to go free, discarding him to the canvas like he was nothing more than used gum. As the audience jeers his actions, Faqu's throat explodes with another ferocious roar that could level the empire state building. Heat lies against the corner post, his hand holding onto the top rope in order to help him stand, but his legs too weak to perform such a task. Once again Faqu “assists” Heat in getting back to a vertical base, grabbing onto his baggy shorts and simply throwing him upright. “HEAT! HEAT! HEAT! HEAT! Faqu cocks his fist, ready to punch Heat's head all the way to New Jersey. But, The Samoan Wrecking Ball is stunned by Heat's sudden resurgence of fighting spirit, and The Colombian hammers his foe with lightening quick jabs. Though the shots inspire the audience to cheer, they do nothing more to Faqu than stir his rage, and he stifles Heat's offense by placing his hand around his face and shoving him to the ropes. As Heat returns, he takes to the sky, seeking to use his quickness to overpower Faqu with a cross body block. But such aerial attacks do not phase the savage, and like King Kong swiping a plane out the air, Faqu violently swipes his aggressor out the air. Fans hold their hands to their mouth in horror as they watch Heat nosedive onto the canvas. COLE Faqu taking it to Heat in the early moments of this contest. I bet Maddix no doubt watching with great interest and worry backstage. Faqu looks at his foe, who clutches his head and grimaces in pain, with only a vague interest. He then drives his barefoot into Heat's broad chest, stomping him the way one might stomp a passing ant. Heat, feeling like a stampede of elephants has walked over him, brings his knees to chest and whimpers his distress. His agonized cries are music to Faqu's ears, and the islander rips into the New York night with another bestial yell. COACH What's it like, you just trynna wrestle a match, and do your thing, than this psycho stomps on you like he's got an anvil on his foot and then starts screaming like he a lunatic? We got an odd cast of characters in the OAOAST, but this guy gotta be the scariest. Faqu pulls Heat off the mat, simply by palming his head and violently forcing him upright. But the US Champion doesn't stay on his feet for long, as a brutal head BUTT scrambles his brains and drops him back to the canvas. Despite the terrible headache afflicting him, Heat instantly begins crawling to the ropes, just wanting to create distance between he and his foe. Faqu isn't compliant with the Colombian's wishes, and stalks him across the ring. Upon reaching him, he drags him off the mat, and then launches him across the ring. Heat travels to the corner post with never before seen speed, and hits the turnbuckles with never before seen force; he falls to the canvas as though a cannonball just went through his stomach. Though he immediately sits up, its merely to clutch his stomach and show the referee he's not totally out of this fight. COLE Faqu, trying to make short work out of Heat tonight. I can't believe Landon would want Faqu to advance, though. An LI versus LI matchup could wreak havoc on that group's chemistry and organization. Like, I said earlier, with all these stables floating around, its survival of the fittest, and you're only as strong as your weakest link. Faqu stands the exhausted Heat up, and has no trouble in forcing him into the corner. He snarls with his trademark feral rage then decimates the US Champion's chest with an overhand volley. The sound of such a thunderous strike is washed away by the boos of the audience. And their negative calls grow louder when Faqu lands a second and third strike across Heat's chest. The shots hit incredibly hard and the combined impact winds Heat long enough for Faqu to back towards the center of the ring. He grunts a small battle cry then charges forward to leap into the air with a body splash. But Heat delights the audience by sliding out the way, causing the blubbery grappler to crash into the corner. COLE Alright, Heat! Keep it up! Quickly Heat climbs atop ropes that shake from Faqu's crash and begins ramming punches into Faqu's noggin! The blows seem to have some effect on the Samoan but the attack is cut short when he furiously shoves his opponent away from him. Not willing to give Faqu an inch to breathe, Heat rushes back to his foe with a body splash. But, the islander is ready for him, and dips down to take hold of his waist. He then raises his body up and back body drops his enemy over the blue ring ropes. Yet, Heat avoids a catastrophic fall to the outside and lands with tennis shoes on the apron. Unfortunately that catastrophic fall rears its ugly head within seconds; Faqu slams his foot into Heat's jaw throwing him off the ring apron. Heat splatters across the paper thin mats that cover the thick central park grass, and he's left groggy under all sorts of agony. COLE Could Faqu be looking for a countout victory in this first round matchup? Apparently not, as the big man breaks Robinson's count to enter the outside area. The more blood lusting fans in attendance let out a huge pop, for a possible bloody brawl. The rest of the audience simply pops when they see Heat slam his foot into Faqu's shin. The surprising blow buys Heat enough time to scamper to his feet. There he waste not a single second in taking the fight to his foe. He grabs onto Faqu's mangled dreads, and slams him into the apron three times. The monster shouts a groan that's a combination of anger and agony. And his condition isn't helped when the Colombian peppers his aching head with punches. Now more annoyed than hurt by Heat, Faqu growls his frustration as he shoves Heat away. But that was a poor bit of strategy by Faqu, as it gives Heat the distance needed to put a dent in his Samoan skull with a Pele Kick. As Faqu sinks to the mat like a tree split by a lightening bolt, Heat pops up and beats his chest towards an approving audience. “HEAT! HEAT! HEAT!” COACH Heat is pussy on this shit. Why dude running to the outside to throw hands, and do dirt, instead of keeping it in the ring like this thing is supposed to go. Dude's getting exposed. Softest champion we got. Defend ya title every four years. Homie's title defenses come around less than a presidential election. Have to have a 50 state primary to determine number one contender. Colombia's favorite son drags Samoa's least favorite off the mats and chucks him into the steel steps. Faqu crashes into the stairs with such powerful impact that they go flying towards the guardrail. Drool drips out of his agape mouth as he lies weakened and vulnerable on the remaining steps. This is a perfect position for Heat who takes to the air and slams his knee down on Faqu's head! That harsh attack earns him quite a few applause from the audience, but a stern warning about a double countout from the referee. As Heat obviously doesn't want a double dq, he slides into the ring to break Robinson's count, then slides back out to inflict further damage on Faqu. Unfortunately the burly savage is back on his feet. But, he's not fully recovered, and Heat makes sure that's a recovery that's delayed by slamming his elbow into his jaw. As Faqu staggers away, Heat continues to celebrate this time by high fiving the near by audience members. Once through with rejoicing with the audience, Heat tags his foe with a pair of stinging chops across the back. “AGGGGHHHH!” Faqu screams, trying to hide the pain those chops caused. There is, however, no masking the anguish inflicted by Heat again driving his head into the apron. As Faqu tries to quiet his swimming vision, Heat latches onto his head and charges forward. He then sits out and spikes Faqu's mellon onto the mats with a bulldog. Even with his rock hard Samoan skull, Faqu is still discomforted by the attack. The US Champion resumes high fiving the fans, except for a guy in a Red Sox jersey, because that's one war you don't want to get into! COLE Heat showing a lot of fight in the hunt for a guaranteed world title shot and half a million dollars. COACH Naw, Heat is creep/snitches/grimey/pussy/flaw/bitch made, I can't even think of word for this FUCK BOY on here. Homie ugly as sin to. How you gonna be on TV lookin like the victim of a horrible grease fire, walkin around lookin like you Rocky Dennis cooked extra crispy. Faqu is stumbling away from Heat, moving in the direction of the announce table as he tries to regain his wits. Or what few wits he actually has. But the US Champion continues to pursue him, bashing him with forearms across the back. However, these blows have little effect on Faqu, and he shoves Heat into apron with all his might. The force of that attack sends Heat staggering back towards the Samoan Bulldozer, who latches onto his torso and lifts him into the air in a gorilla press position. “RAAAARRRRGGHHGHGH!” Faqu belts. COACH GARRRRRGGGHGHHH “BLARRRRGHGHGHGHGGHHHH!” COACH SNARAAAARGGHHHHHH! “MWAAHHAGAGGHHHHH!” COACH FARGHGHHHHHHHH! We're having a brilliant conversation on how President Sarvosky's rewriting of the French constitution will have an impact on central European fur trade. Faqu is a brilliant and insightful political commentator. I bet you didn't know that. Through with auditioning to be the next Wolf Blizter, Faqu drops Heat stomach first across the metal guardrail. There isn't even time for that pain to set in before, Faqu puts him in a world of misery by rushing forward and driving his bare foot into Heat's head. Heat falls off the guardrail back onto the thin mats, life seemingly drained out his body by that hellish strike. Above the booing of the audience, Faqu hears Robinson's count nearing ten. Thus he slides into the ring, and slides back out, eager to continue his punishment of Heat. COLE If Faqu were smart he'd...I just realized what I said. But, I think many of our wrestlers would take a countout win, certainly in a match with such heavy implications. Faqu grabs hold of Heat's baggy shorts and drags him along the mats as though he were merely a sack of rocks. Eventually, the big man grows tired of hauling Heat along and slings him into the time keeper's corner. As Buffer has no real wish to be mauled to death by a half man half animal creature, he does the wise thing and scampers out the way. For his part, Heat clutches onto some TV cables, and tries desperately to think how he can escape his perilous position, cornered by the beast. “RAARRRRRGHHHHH!” COACH GAARRR- COLE Please don't start. Faqu drives his fist into Heat's head, hitting him with all his might and power. The audience sits aghast at the brutality, as they watch The Samoan bend over and pummel his foe without mercy. His hands come down on Heat's head like a meteor shower, slamming into him with a ferocious deadly impact. The only thing that makes the beating somewhat tolerable for Heat, is that he's lying face down the ground. But this paltry attempt to protect himself, enrages Faqu and he only increases the amazing furor behind his attacks. In the ring Robinson begins a hasty count, hoping to end the match before Faqu can inflict lasting injury on his foe. “ONE!” “TWO!” “THREE!” COLE Come on, Heat, you have to get up! This is hard to watch. COACH Not for me it ain't. If I told you I knew a boy who got his ass slammed up against the wall, drug across the ground by his pants, slung in the corner, and then got his head stomped off, you'd say he soft. You'd say he's baby BUTT. Heat is soft. Dude is hot dog buns. Stick an Oscar Meyer wiener between that dude, he done. “FOUR!” “FIVE!” Faqu continues obliterate Heat, silencing the audience who can't believe they haven't seen any signs of life from the US Champion. The Samoan Bulldozer simply continues to pound on his foe with the beating of a lifetime, showing no remorse for Heat's welfare or concern for Robinson's count. “SIX!” LOW BLOW BY HEAT! COLE He caught him with that one! Where did that come from? Wakened from their horrified stupor by the shocking strike the crowd sends a large pop into the air for Heat's sudden resurgence. As usual Faqu looks more enraged than hurt, but whatever his emotional state may be, he's stopped pounding on Heat and that's good enough for the South American superstar to crawl free of the personal hell he was trapped within. “SEVEN” Though his left eye is swollen partially shut and the side of his face has been beaten purple, Heat still finds the strength within his battered body to slog towards the ring. He summons the last of that strength to slink up the apron and into squared circle, earning a solid cheer from the fans. COLE Heat made it back, and Faqu better follow suit. “Eight! Hurry up, Faqu! Get in here!” Robinson shouts. “RARRRRRR!” Faqu roars and charges to the ring...only to fall flat on his pug-ugly face?! COACH The fuck? Puzzled by his costly gaffe, Faqu looks behind him to see the heartbreaking sight of his ankles leashed to the guardrail by television cables! COLE Colombian Heat, you old trickster! He must've tied Faqu's legs to the guardrail. COACH Really? You think so? COLE There was no one else over there. Its not like they could tie themselves. Think about it. “NINE!” Thrashing against these expertly tied bonds, Faqu let's out an angered roar that could lay the devil the rest. While his predicament may have dire health consequences for whoever has to to untangle him, the audience is free to hoot and holler over Heat's ingenuous move. Their joy only increases Faqu's humongous amount of anger and his efforts to break free seem to have as much to do with attacking the crowd as they do of attacking Heat. With Faqu's constant jerking and hollering doing nothing to get himself any closer to escaping, Robinson has no other choice but to count ten and call for the bell! DING DING DING! "YEAAAAA!" As Heat's theme music returns to the park ground and the audience applauds his victory, the advancing superstar lies flat on his back and holds up his fist in exhausted triumph. Elsewhere the security guards draw straws on who will have the misfortune of untangling Faqu and most likely being beaten to a bloody pulp. His crazed roars and lunatic fist pounding do nothing to expedite their process either. COLE Colombian Heat pulls it off! He definitely made use of his environment and sort of used Faqu's animalastic, killer instinct against him to snare him in one helluva trap. That's gotta be the most resourceful victory in the first round! COACH That's gotta be the cheapest victory I've ever seen. And that ain't gonna work against Landon Maddix. That dude runs a wrestling company, he's a little too smart for that. Colombian Snuggle Bear better come up with something a bit more legit against the reigning Mister Money In The Bank. COLE Well, Landon might be a little thankful to have avoided a second round match with his stable mate, that much is probably certain. But, I'm sure we'll hear plenty of complaining and kvetching from him about the way this one went down. Congratulations are in order to Colombian Heat for taking one step closer to half a million dollars and a guaranteed world title shot any time he wants. Folks, we have a lot of guys from New York in the company. The Burroghs Boys, Detective Bosley, Vinny Valentine, Jose lives here and Molly goes to school here, and we'll be seeing one New Yorker, Reject in action next! COMMERCIAL COMING UP NEXT EIGHT MAN MATCH FOR THE GOLDEN TICKET BOHEMOTH AND LOVE GENERATION VS THE DEADLY ALLIANCE NEXT

get a real taste of nyc with that there video! COLE We're back with more Big Apple Spectacular from The Great Lawn. I gotta say Coach, I've had a fantastic time today interacting with the many fans here in New York. But Synth Abdul Jabbar has not. Synth? We cut to Synth, sitting in a park pavilion by himself looking none too pleased. SYNTH Hell no, I ain't havin no good time! Shit. And it be 'cause of these dusty NYC skeezers. I'm out in the trenches to spit game on model chicks, real girls on that dime status. I hive them truth about Allah and the holy word and save them from the evils of sin like brother Abdullah did to me. Nothin sexual, nothin perverse, but just the wisdom and the word of Allah. Praise be. And all The Synthanator gets from the so called greatest city on earth is some pigs all busted up carryin around chips with 25 cent sticker from the local bodega. COACH Preach it. SYNTH And these girls, brother Coach, always talk about they on game so a man's gotta be on game to. But you ask em if they're in school, and they say, "naw, see I just flunked out my basket weaving class at Borough of Manhattan Community College". Flunking out of basket weaving at community college. What part of the game is that? COACH The part where they go to workin Johns on the St-Queensbridge to Roosevelt train? Ha! SYNTH Why don't ya go to Bed, Bath and Beyond on 6th Avenue and get you a damn basket, ho! I'm quickly findin out most of the girls in NYC are true bottomed out smuts, findein to suck and hump everything over the age of 18 and with enough cash to get a Red Hots out the vendin machine. These girls are so broke, right, they bringing tap water from home to work and then walkin to St.Mark's for falafels in busted up Keds. Yeah, you heard me, Keds and tap water. You a real candidate for the next season of Flava Of Love for sure. They wake up cravin the meat, like zombies on a kick for human flesh you must understand. Now as a playboy since turned to the wisdom of Allah, I salutes them and I praises them, cause of they relentless dedication to scourin' Manhattan, Brooklyn and the bronx like some lil prairie dogs to be seekin out nut sacks to drain for the small fee of a Gatorade Ice, a bag of cool ranch Doritios and a metrocard transfer. But, I bet most of these goofy goober ass bifocal wearing captain save'em's we have here in the OAOAST, probably thinking of wifin every smut they see. You know the type, Coach. Yeah, these are the guys who if a ho told them the moon was made out of black tar heroin they'd go scribble it as fact on Buzz Aldrin's forehead. Get your mind right, fellas get rid of the hoes, and get with Allah. Praise be. First verse of the Koran, you can't turn a ho into a housewife. That's the gospel from Synth Abdul Jabbar, peace blood, peace god. VS My dick cost a late-night fee Your dick got the HIV My dick plays on the double feature screen Your dick went straight to DVD My dick: bigger than a bridge Your dick look like a little kid's My dick: large like the Chargers, the whole team Your shit look like you're 14 The greatest theme song in the OAOAST blaring in the background, Mr. Dick leads out his team for our next match. Malaysia trailing behind holding the gold and her cat o’nine tails. BUFFER The following 6-man tag team attraction is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit. Coming down the aisle, accompanied by OAOAST Women’s Champion MALAYSIA! At a total combined weight of 783 pounds, the team of CPA and DETECTIVE TANGO BOSLEY… V.I.C.E. … and MR. DICK! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Despite being a fellow New Yorker, law enforcement’s worse, Detective Bosley is greeted rudely. Mr. Dick having to prevent him from running into the crowd to crack some heads. COLE Hold onto your seats, fans, what’s left of the ozone layer is going to explode from this ovation. A cloud of purple haze is released as “Thriller” by Fall Out Boy hits to the sound of screaming girls everywhere. BUFFER And their opponents! First, from Laguna Beach, California, total combine weight 370 pounds… MARV and MEL… THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESS! Their tag team partner hails from San Antonio, Texas, and weighs in tonight at 265 pounds… “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BARON WINDELS!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Baron and the CAE clear the ring storming in. Mr. Dick and V.I.C.E. wanting to start the match on their term. Referee Nick Patrick ordering both teams to choose a representative to get things underway. * DINGDINGDING * Pre-match garb aside, the teams are ready to hook ‘em up. Face to face, Detective Tango Bosley and MARV engage in a little trash talking before locking up. Though he owns the size and weight advantage Bosley still resorts to using a cheapshot, driving the knee into the midsection of MARV. Knuckle sandwich and backhand judo chop rocks the youngest member of the match, but he recovers in time to block a roundhouse kick and snap Bosley over with a DRAGON SCREW LEG WHIP! COACH That’s gotta feel worse than being shot, Mikey. At least most, if not all, the damage is done after taking a bullet to the leg. In this case the ligaments could be stretched or hanging on by a thread. COLE Are you ribbing me? Both hurt like a bitch! MARV dropkicks the knee and Bosley falls flat on his face. A quick tag ensues and MEL delivers a SPRINGBOARD LEGDROP! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Full arm drag and twist, but when MEL cranks on the arm Bosley pops him good in the face. MEL shakes it off and retaliates with overhand chops, then a single-leg takedown as MARV re-enters and grabs the other leg to do the old Rock ‘n’ Roll Express double somersault leg stretch followed by punch to opposition tag partner standing on the apron, or partners in this case, drilling both CPA and Mr. Dick! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The identical twin sensations play to the crowd and nearly get decapitated for it. Fortunately they duck a clothesline from Detective Bosley and connect with a DOUBLE KICKFLIP. MARV exits as the heels tag and in comes a red hot Mr. Dick, who charges into an arm drag. And another. Now it’s the good guys’ turn to make an exchange. BARON WINDELS accepting the tag! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Listen to this crowd exploded! They want to see the former Lone Star Gunslingers hook ‘em up. COACH And you know Mr. Dick is all about giving the people what they want. It’s too bad the same can’t be said for Baron Windels. Mr. Dick’s all big and bad in the lead up to his showdown with Baron, but just as they’re about to lockup he pulls away at the very last second and bails outside for a rubdown from Malaysia. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” COLE What a coward he is. COACH Tell us something we don’t already know about Baron Windels. COLE I’m talking about Mr. Dick! COACH A man’s man in every sense of the word. COLE Because every Texan loves a good fight Baron goes out and finds him one, performing a DOUBLE COCONUT on Mr. Dick and Malaysia! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Who does that guy think he is, Rick Mahorn? This is 10 times worse than what he did, and you actually have fans cheering this act of violence against a woman. Disgusting. Bumbling around like a fool outside, Mr. Dick is tossed back in and hammered in the corner. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10! Though disoriented, he manages to grab onto the top rope after being sent for the ride and measures BW for a STIFF KICK…but Windels ducks and delivers an ATOMIC DROP that causes Mr. Dick to shoot off the ropes and back into a BIG BOOT! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Malaysia places Mr. Dick’s foot on the bottom rope. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Like the crowd, Baron doesn’t appreciate Malaysia’s interference either. The Lone Star Gunslinger issuing a warning to the ultimate combination of beauty of beatdowns. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to him a tag has been made. CPA now the legal man, and he makes his presence felt, slamming Baron down hard onto the mat with a GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB applied from behind! COACH Brute strength right there, Mikey. That’s a 6’7”, 260-plus pound man CPA just tossed like a ragdoll. Instead of going for the pin CPA sees whether he can stomp Baron’s brains out. He fails but does a whole helluva lot of damage in the process, pleasing his partners and especially Malaysia because she loves pain and all. With BW hurting Mr. Dick asks for the tag and receives it. COLE Oh, yeah. What a big tough guy he is. Mr. Dick only accepting the tag after CPA did all the dirty work. JUST BEING A DICK, he signals for Malaysia to distract referee Nick Patrick so he can HEADBUTT BARON IN THE GROIN! The cover. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Baron just barely raising the shoulder. Mr. Dick rams Baron into the buckle and unloads, stomping the Lone Star Gunslinger to the seat of his pants and paint brushing him. He whips Baron across to the far corner and charges in for the big splash…but nobody’s home! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Cowboy Bebop elbows find their mark, and the giant dick, figuratively speaking, is fired in and over courtesy of a BAAAAAAAAAACK BODY DROP. Mr. Dick staggers to his feet and walks into a TOP ROPE LARIAT! ONE… TWO… Save by Detective Bosley! But he makes the mistake of staying in the ring too long as MEL swoops in and delivers his patented SWINGING BULLDOG! COACH What a poor message MEL’s sending the youth of America, Cole -- that it’s OK to disrespect authority. COLE Tango Bosley is a man who doesn’t deserve respect, not after he decided to accept Theodore Moneymaker’s dirty money. CPA returns as the legal man and immediately puts the boots to Baron. Then he busts out the heavy artillery, namely a POWERSLAM! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Baron still showing signs of life, which CPA looks to squeeze out by rolling the Lone Star Gunslingers onto his stomach, placing him in a reverse chinlock. “BARON!” “BARON!” “BARON!” Whatever hope of a comeback Baron has are dashed by a boot to the spine of the back. Enter Detective Bosley to bait the CAE inside so he and his teammates can pummel the hell out of Baron. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” COLE I know they do the best job they can, but these referees sometimes…it’s like they’re lost in there. COACH You’re just upset it’s one of your favorites getting the rough treatment. If it were the other way around you wouldn’t be whining. V.I.C.E. tag and Detective Bosley sets Baron for the NYPD-DT…but Windels blocks the suplex and serves up a BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL! ONE… TWO… THREE!!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" * DINGDINGDING * COLE Oh, just like that it’s over! COACH I’ve seen it and I still don’t believe it. One second Boz is in control, the next he’s flat on his back down for the count. The CAE jump on Baron in celebration only to be attacked by CPA who dumps them outside while Mr. Dick WHIPS the Lone Star Gunslinger with Malaysia’s CAT O‘NINE TAILS. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” COLE This is uncalled for. What sore losers these guys are. OAOAST officials need to get off their ass and out here to stop this. COACH I bet they’re like me in believing this is what Baron gets for laying his hands on Malaysia. Now that was uncalled for. And here they come, but CPA and Malaysia keep them at bay. It’s only until after Mr. Dick has had fun that officials are let in to tend to Baron Windels, his back bloody from the lashings he received. COLE Fans, as Baron gets the help he needs, we’re going to take a quick time out and be back with more OAOAST action right after this. COMING UP NEXT THE FINAL FIRST ROUND MONEY IN THE BANK MATCH COLOMBIAN HEAT VS FAQU NEXT

We return from commercial break with Dipset's We Built This City blasting and our view on the histroic Bethesda Terrace which you may have seen in such films as Enchanted, Ransom or Angels In America. Bethesda Terrace overlooks The Lake in Central Park. Its two level terrace that's joined by united by two grand staircases and a lesser one that passes under Terrace Drive to provide passage southward to the Elkan Naumburg bandshell and The Mall. COLE We are coming to you live from Central Park, in the heart of New York City! And Coach, I don't think we've ever known an atmosphere quite like this! COACH I gotta tell you, this has been a huge win for Josie Baker and OAOAST management so far, what a spectacle. Some fourty thousand out here in the open air experiencing the Big Apple Spectacular, for FREE! Absolutely free! Unprecedented. COLE That it is. Let's take you out into the crowd to get some idea of what the people of New York are making of it all, Maggie Nerdly is out somewhere in this sea of humanity. Take it away Mags! Surrounded by a group of typically rowdy wrestling fans, Maggie presses a hand against her earpiece to try and hear what's going on. MAGGIE Hey, we're out amongst the studs and duds of New York City, more studs than duds I'm sure, I ain't hatin' I'm just alliteratin'! The turnout here has been awesome guys! The people of New York have come out in their thousands to get in on this once in a lifetime event and it is rocking out here! A great turnout and not just from the NYC, there's dudes here from as far away as Florida, The Carolinas, even some of my people from Canada! It's a happenin' happening if there ever was one! But don't just take my word for it because out here with me somewhere is... Biff Atlas!? Well, whatever, what's it like your end Biff? Biff is similarly surrounded by the fans who cheer at the sight of themselves on camera. Only problem is, Biff doesn't take the attention quite as in his stride as Maggie had, an hysterical look in his eyes. BIFF Maggie it is a scene of unbridled pandamonium down here, I can't even begin to explain the panic around me! I've been amongst this rabid mob for three life-altering hours now! My attempts to distribute free suncream have been met largely with dis-interest from these people leading me to worry about how much at risk from a skin cancer epidemic the city of New York will now be imminently in! The New York medical services are stretched to breaking point here tonight! The air is thin in the middle of this chaos! People as far as the eye can see! Barely room to move and sheer diabolical conditions for sufferers of claustrophobia! These are conditions no human should be forced to experience! I... I think the carnage speaks for itself! I'm getting out of here while I still can! Pray for me! Pray for New York! Biff finally freaks out and drops to all fours in a crawl to safety from the impeccably behaved and totally calm crowd, sending us back to Sofa Central. As Biff's report ends, so begins the opening to "Sharp Dressed Man" by ZZ Top ahead of more free action! COLE And while Biff is touted by local news teams everywhere for his fearful reports of impending doom of the most mundane event, we continue on with The Big Apple Spectacular. First round Money In The Bank tournament action, let's go up to Michael Buffer! Through the curtains and out into the public glare emerges "The Natural" Christian Wright, to a roar of boos. Clutching his trusty briefcase, Wright adjusts the collar of his red polyester jacket as Mackenzie DeCenzo appears at his side trying to convert the New York fans into singing his praises. That fails miserably and the non-paying fans shout their abuse to Wright as he passes down the aisleway. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen your next contest is scheduled for one fall and is a first round match in the Money In The Bank Tournament! Making his way to the ring at this time, he is accompanied by the Chief Financial Officer of The Enterprise, MACKENZIE DECENZO!! Now residing in Washington D.C... he weighs in at approximately 8 and 1/3 BARS OF GOLD... respresenting The Enterprise, ladies and gentlemen... "THE NATURAL"... CCHHHRRRRIIIIIISSSSSSTTIIIIIIAAAAAAANN... WWWWRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHHTT!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Wright climbs up the steps, looking out with contempt at the crowd before he sweeps into the ring. As they discuss strategy Mackenzie removes Wright's jacket and takes possession of the briefcase which assigned referee Mike Chioda is quick to warn about. COLE I wonder what the Financial Analyst would make of this free admission show, besides whatever Moneymaker tells him to make of it of course. COACH Well we all know the real reason behind the show and I know Christian approves of cleaning up after the demise of 'Sault Who Must Not Be Named. But let's not get into that. He's gone. Let's try and move on. This is going to be a great match. COLE It'll certainly be interesting. The Enterprise and Cucaracha Internacional have had their differences ever since the announcement of the tournament brackets, both taking issue with claims of being the 'dominant force in the OAOAST'. The war of words became physical last week on HeldDOWN~! with The Enterprise boasting victory in the challenge match via CPA's defeat of Todd Cortez. Tonight though it'll be Wright and Landon Maddix representing their groups, two men with little in the way of fan support so it'll be interesting to see who the crowd sides with, if anyone. "PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!" ...WAAAAAHHHHH... *DUM DUM* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Apparantly it might be no-one, as a similarly negative reaction greets "Megalomaniac" and the entrance of Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix. With Megan Skye at his side Landon stops to take a look around Central Park and the scene in front of him before extending his hands and beckoning cheers which simply aren't coming. Not concerned by the 40 something thousand booing him, Landon swaggers to the ring, vowing to show "why I'm the leader" to the camera tracking him. BUFFER And introducing his opponent, led down the aisle by his manager, the 'Perfect 10' MEGAN SKYE!! Weighing two hundred, eight pounds and coming to us from Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Spain... the leader of Cucaracha Internacional and Commissioner of the SWF! He is a former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion... and the ONLY man in the OAOAST to have won the Money In The Bank contract previously... he is LLLAAAAAAANNDDOOOOONN... "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMMAAAAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXX!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Nice to see Landon found the time to write his own cuecard. Landon strolls his way around ringside in his Cucaracha Internacional t-shirt (available at OAOASTShop.com!), leaping to the ring apron and waving a victorious finger over his head. Megan then holds the ropes open for her man's triumphant spin into the ring. All of which is giving the up-turned nose from Wright. COLE Could you believe earlier on as we were arriving here in Central Park, Landon had an SWF street-team hovering around handing out fliers!? Talk about taking advantage of a generous gesture from the company that employs him. COACH It's smart business. Besides, their next show's in Jamaica so I doubt it'll be much direct competition for wherever we are that week. COLE So you read the flier? COACH I perused it, sure. Doesn't make me disloyal. Once Maddix is out of his long leather entrance trenchcoat, he and Megan swap a little strategy. Not wanting to be upstaged, Mackenzie offers her charge a few last words as well, the two women shooting daggers at each other as they're exited from the ring. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Both Landon and Wright are used to the boos and turn to wave them off. But the fans aren't on their backs (yet), instead booing for the arrival of THEODORE MONEYMAKER! COLE Oh great. Landon cries foul to referee Chioda but as he's confronted by the official, Moneymaker makes it clear he's only out here to watch and makes his way around to the commentary table to join Double C. That doesn't placate Landon much, especially when Moneymaker and Wright give each other the thumbs up, Landon bitching that "they're clearly planning something!" MONEYMAKER Gentlemen, this is becoming quite the habit. One that I wouldn't mind breaking, or at the very least cutting down on. But I couldn't afford to miss this in person, the final humiliation of La Cucaracha and that big mouth of his by my Enterprise. COLE Well your Enterprise won the challenge match last week, but this is the all important tournament match. And Landon has been claiming all week to anyone who'd listen that CPA's win meant nothing because it came against his group's, quote, "redheaded stepchild", Todd Cortez. MONEYMAKER After tonight there will be no excuses. He'll find out where the power lies in the OAOAST, through my number one prospect, Christian Wright. *DINGDINGDING!* Still looking more concerned with Moneymaker than Wright, a clearly distracted Landon is encouraged to focus by Megan. Maddix and Wright circle sizing each other up. They come together with a lock-up, Landon scoring with a quick armdrag out of it and popping to his feet with an early celebration. COLE Nice quick armdrag, but the reaction is a little much. Grinning, Landon adjusts at his elbowpads and encourages CW to try again. Wright locks up again and this time his power advantage begins to pay, backing Landon up until he scores with another quick armdrag. Landon backs into a corner and takes a kick up onto the turnbuckles, looking up at the evening sky with his hands cupped behind his head. COLE And now is not the time for star-gazing in Central Park. MONEYMAKER Landon will be able to get a good look at the sky soon enough, when he's flat on his back and flat broke when it comes to my $500,000. Wright scowls at being upstaged and converses with Mackenzie while Landon eases himself back off the turnbuckle. The New York crowd still haven't picked a side and prefer to just shout random abuse at both men as they begin to circle again. Again they lock up, but no armdrag comes this time thanks to a handful of hair from Wright! The Natural backs Maddix into a corner but referee Chioda is alerted to the hairpull by Landon's squeals. Chioda forces Wright to break it up... and Landon immediately takes advantage of the ref being out of position but using a hairpull of his own to force his way back out of the turnbuckles! As the collar and elbow dissolves into dualing handfuls of hair Chioda has had enough and pulls them apart before laying down the law to both men, despite them both acting the innocent. Both men eventually give in... and get the same idea, looking for cheapshot kicks to the gut while the other is distracted, but both connect at the same time! COLE It may come down to a battle of who can cheat the better or who can cheat the most at this rate! COACH Like I said earlier, this is going to be a great match. Both men shake off the boots, Landon running at Wright and going underneath a clothesline. Off the ropes Landon comes back and goes up and around with a Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker! Cover... 1... 2... No. Maddix quickly kicks out and just as quickly rolls to the floor, which doesn't go down well with the crowd. COACH That's a smart move by Landon, take a quick breather, break up the momentum. Landon's always got a plan. MONEYMAKER Landon is no smarter than the trained soundbite animal sat next to you Johnathan. All of his plans and all his business know-how lie solely in the head of Megan Skye and Landon simply takes credit for it all. He's a blond-headed imbecile who isn't in the same intellectual stratosphere as the smartest man in our industry, Christian Wright, or the second smartest, yours truly. COACH Yes sir! COLE Oh brother. Landon slowly re-enters the ring where Wright has grown impatient waiting. He tries to jump Landon on the way in, but La Cucaracha manages to fire off some jabs to the midsection to fend him off. Backing CDub up, Landon then unleashes... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...the first chop of the match. Maddix turns Wright up against the ropes... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and delivers a second. Irish whip is reversed though and Wright ducks his head ready for backdrop, only for Landon to leapfrog on the run and catch CW turning around with a Dropsault! MADDIX Yee-ha! Clearly pleased with himself, Landon pops back up to go for the cover... and puts his hands on his hips, as he sees Wright rolling to the floor to boos. MONEYMAKER Ah, very smart, very good Christian! Landon complains to Chioda about Wright's cowardly actions and somehow does it with a straight face too. Around comes Mackenzie to check on Wright and formulate a new gameplan, much as Landon and Megan did moments earlier. The New York fans continue to throw insults at both men, but more-so CW at the moment for his stalling. MONEYMAKER What a distinct lack of class hanging over this park here tonight. These ingrate New Yorkers have been given the unbelievable privilege of watching world-class athletes at the top of their game for not one single dime... and yet, rather than show gratitude or good humble grace, they stand here yelling and gesticulating at competitors usually only visible live for $30 and upwards! Disgraceful. COACH Gesticulating in public isn't even legal, I don't think. Certainly not hygenic. Back in rolls Wright to accusations of cowardise from Landon. The ring mics pic up Christian's rebuttal and suffice is to say, Landon is totally confused. After at least a dozen ridiculously long words and flourid prose, Landon is left with a dumb look on his face and just one reply to the ultimate intellectual; "Zuh!?" Having confused Maddix into a trance, Christian quickly takes advantage with a Spear and covers! 1... 2... No! Wright hits the ropes, knocking Landon down on the rebound with a shoulder tackle. He carries on to the near ropes, Maddix dropping down and forcing him up and over. Leapfrog by Landon, looking for hiptoss, which Wright counters, only for Landon to block and sneak behind with a Backslide... 1... 2... No! Hooking up Landon, Wright executes his own Backslide... 1... 2... No! COLE Hey what do you know, it's descended into a wrestling match all of a sudden! A back elbow from Maddix catches CW and leaves him stunned, allowing La Cucaracha to come off the ropes. He leaps from his feet with a scything forearm, but Wright ducks underneath it, catching Landon on the way down and going behind seamlessly into waistlock. German Suplex... is blocked though, Landon tucking and rolling forward with a cradle... 1... 2... Kickout! Back up first, Landon throws a chop which connects only with the forearms of The Natural. Wright shoves Landon in the back, sending him sternum first into the turnbuckles in the corner. Wright then follows up with a clothesline to the back of the head, sandwiching Maddix in the corner. Waistlock is re-applied... and this time CW scores with the German Suplex, bridging on impact... 1... 2... Kickout! Wright reaches down and grabs a hold of the blond Spanish locks of La Cucaracha to pull him back up. Landon suddenly shrugs off the attentions though, before catching CW unawares with a thumb to the eyes! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Well, you knew it couldn't last. MONEYMAKER Not with Maddix involved, no. That's one thing he and his group severely lack, integrity. COLE You don't say. Pointing to his head to show everyone just how smart he is, (otherwise how would they know?), Landon snapmares Wright to the canvas... *SMACK!* ...and delivers a solid Dragon kick to the back. As Wright cringes in pain, off the ropes comes Landon, hitting the double stomp and bottoming out with the back senton to follow. Big smile on his face, Landon reaches back and hooks a leg... 1... 2... No! "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "SO DOES CHRIS - TIAN!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "SO DOES CHRIS - TIAN!" MONEYMAKER Unbelievable! I know New York is hardly renowned for it's high levels of class, but this is something else entirely! Alternating between frowning at the insults aimed at him, and the smiling at the ones aimed at CW, Maddix pulls himself off the canvas. He takes hold of Wright's arm and leads him upright. But as he stands he feels Wright began to stir, and is immediately gripped by a small panic. Thus he subdues his fears, and his foe with an elbow to the back of the skull. While CW withers beneath the strike, Maddix hurriedly guides him to the corner. Upon arriving at his destination, he chucks Wright into the ringpost, ramming his beefy shoulder into the cold steel. Wright bawls with a blistering agony, as he clutches his sore limb and frets over further attacks the SWF commissioner might level against him his arm. Fortunately for CDub, Maddix's concerns strangely lie in winning the wary audience's support. "LET'S GO LANDON! LET'S GO LANDON!" he sings. "SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Blood boiling, Maddix yells "That's it! You're off the SWF tour schedule until further notice!" "YEAAAAAAA!" Landon mumbles how much he disdains NYC's trademark rudeness as he stomps demonstratively towards the center of the ring. There he waits with patience for Wright to bring himself out the corner. When the former HI-YAH world champion finally does so, Maddix comes charging in with his forearm held like a jousting stick. But Wright reacts with cat like agility and side steps rival, giving him a shove into the ropes as he darts by. But as Maddix returns he leaps into CW with a Thez Plant! Wright is leveled by the high flying attack, and driven onto his face when Landon brings him over with a faceplant! His hands quickly move to shield himself from any further strikes, but again Landon has preoccupied himself with winning the crowd's affections. "Let's try this one more time,” He bellows “LET'S GO LANDON! LET'S GO LANDON!" "SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Back to grumbling about his ill treatment from the big apple, Landon can only exercise his mounting frustrations on Wright. He grabs onto The Naturals arm then drives his red and yellow kick pads straight into his bicep. The force of the attack flips Wright over onto his back, where the image of his grimacing face is met with apathy by an unsympathetic fanbase. Far less apathetic then the gathered crowd is Landon, who is downright overjoyed at the pain he's causing. Thus he smiles brightly and widely as he attempts a pinfall... 1! 2! No! For some reason Landon has trouble believing a mere kick to the arm couldn't earn him a three and loudly grouses about a slow count. But whatever his issues with the pinfall are, Maddix stills them the moment he notices CDub begin to rouse. La Cucaracha waits until his rival reaches a sitting position then pounces on him with the makings of the lethal Wet Cement, a front guillotine choke applied with a body scissors. COLE How good do you think Christian Wright's submission defense is, Teddy? MONEYMAKER I think the submission defense of a three month old blind infant might be enough to ward off what limited danger Landon Maddix poses. Maddix's chances of ever submitting Christian are as good as your chances of surviving the night if you should call me Teddy one more time. "Mister referee, I believe he's giving up!" Landon shouts before he even manages to get his legs properly locked around Wright's torso. In fact that body scissors never actually sees the light of day. Maddix's hubris and his limited submission skills combine to conceive his downfall as CDub effortlessly powers his way through his clutches. Panic stricken, Maddix quickly scurries upright where he has a forearm readied for his enemy. But Wright strikes first, grabbing Landon into an underhook then slamming him across his knee with the Nightmare On Wallstreet (double underhook backbreaker). As Wright tends to his still sore arm, Landon lies stretched out on the canvas under an intense amount of pain. However his agony isn't enough to quiet the audience, and they simply redirect their venom from Landon to Wright. COLE With the way economy is these days, I don't think people like anything that reminds them of Wallstreet. MONEYMAKER At least we didn't repackage Wright and Mackenzie as a boy-girl tag team under the names Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. BWAHHAHAH. Its funny, because I'm not middle class. Wright bounces himself off the ropes, timing his run so that he'll reach Maddix right when the four time SWF champion stands. However when he nears Maddix, the Spaniard shocks him by latching onto his attacking arm. Fighting against CW's struggles to break free, Landon manages to slide Wright's limb between his legs. "¡Buenas Noches!" Landon hollers and brings a frantic worry to Wright's face. "BOOOOOO!" shout the audience, many giving a thumbs down to Landon's signature strike. Just as Landon promised, his boot comes screaming into Wright's face, a deadly attack that sends the financial analyst stumbling backwards. Wright is much too worried about is loosened teeth to give concern to Landon's whereabouts, which is why he's shocked when Maddix snares him into an inverted facelock. The Natural instantly tries to struggle free of the hold, but the South Dakotan overpowers him by lacing his arm across his neck and driving him downwards with the Landon Eye (eye of the hurricane)! "WE HATE EVERYBODY! WE HATE EVERYBODY!" the fans complain. "Even me?" Landon wonders innocently. "ESPECIALLY LANDON! ESPECIALLY LANDON!" Perplexed over his latest failure to capture the hearts of New York's citizens, Landon curls up Wright and hooks the tights for a pinfall... 1! 2! No! Maddix has little desire to allow Wright to get back to his feet, and so he snares him into a keylock, hooking onto his arm, and sitting on his ribcage. Once more Landon proclaims that Wright has submitted and demands the match be stopped. But the way Wright struggles to break free of Maddix's hold, shows that the 2005 rookie of the year has no intention of calling it a night. "Come on, Christian, give it up! Give it up!" Maddix shouts, his words sounding more like a desperate plea than a demand. As CW continues to try and rid himself of Landon's clutches, the SWF's bench boss tightens his hold on his adversary's arm, as though he were trying to pull it from its socket. "You hear that, Christian, no one's chanting for you! They don't want you to win, they want me to win. Silence is compliance!" Not quite so silent is Mackenzie, who urges Christian to find the strength to break out of Landon's hold. But her wishes seem as if they may go unanswered, as Landon makes his grip even tighter by flopping backwards and resting his his back on the mat. His teeth grind themselves together, and his face flares a profound red while his muscles strain to the point of tearing in his efforts to submit CW. However, Maddix's choice to shift position provides the unwelcome side effect of giving The Natural with an opportunity to make a play for his freedom. He furiously rocks his body back and forth, weakening Landon's grip with each movement. "No, no, no, no!" Landon frets. MONEYMAKER Yes, yes! You're no master submission artist, and you are certainly no match for the skills of the 2005 rookie of the year! COLE 2005 rookie of the year? Reaching! Against his own desires, Landon is forced to shift his hold in order to keep Wright from succeeding in his escape efforts. Thus he keeps CW's arms trapped within his and slides to a kneeling position in front of CW's head. Much to Landon's shock and disgust this strategy does absolutely nothing to benefit him, and Wright easily moves to his feet. Landon tries his best to preserve his calm even though his hold on Wright's arm grows weaker by the second. "People, people, there's nothing to worry about, I have it under control!" Landon shouts, even as Wright is backing him towards the corner. "Owwwww, I don't even have control of my bowels!" Landon cries when CW rams him into the rock hard ringpost. But Landon's bowel issues become the least of his worries when The Natural begins lighting his chest up with hellish knife edge chops from his good arm. The Spanish superstar's tanned skin changes to a flaming red, as his face contorts with a raw agony. "FUCK EM UP CHRISTIAN! YOU STILL SUCK! FUCK EM UP CHRISTIAN! YOU STILL SUCK!" MONEYMAKER I'm convinced this free show experiment has attracted nothing but transients from the bronx and drunks from the port authority. COLE Landon Maddix and Christian Wright often bring out the worst in people, that's for sure. COACH And Mister Moneymaker brings out the best in America. Shoe shine for ya, massah? Wright calls an end to his obliteration of Landon's chest, drawing a relieved sigh from the wounded Spaniard. Less comforting, however, is the front facelock CW tightens around his neck. "Ladies and gentlemen, I do believe this athletic tussle is soon to see its end!" Wright proclaims, lifting his rival into the sky. He sits Landon's feet across the top rope, and rotates his body backwards in order to spike Landon's head against the canvas. The audience is thrilled to see Landon in a state of duress, and loudly applauds Wright's execution of his finisher. Even park passerbys who have no interest in the OAOAST stop to gaze in repulsed amazement at the replay of the devastating Conversion Rate on the jumbo sized video screens at the rear of the makeshift venue. MONEYMAKER Landon Maddix, you have about fifty signature moves, and ten different finishers, and not a one, not a single one, compares to the raw might of The Conversion Rate. Clinging onto his shoulder like it were soon to fall out of place, CW crawls onto Landon for a pinfall... 1! 2! Only a second away from victory, Christian's dreams of tournament advancement are dashed when Megan Skye places Landon's foot on the second rope! The audience meets this misdeed with miserable groans, having yearned to see Landon booted out of this tournament. MONEYMAKER Unbelievable the type of crap that gets tolerated by these half blind, half retarded chimps in the stripe shirts! I'm going to go out and paint some dog droppings black and white, and I bet they'd do a better job than the OAOAST Officials. COACH You can use my droppings if you'd like, sir! Mackenzie is equally outraged at Megan's trickery, and marches towards Maddix's better half to deliver payback. Whatever threat Mackenzie poses is enough to back Megan away, with "The Perfect 10" already more than happy with her moment of involvement in the contest. Less pleased of course is Christian Wright, who loudly, and longwindedly bellyaches about his gross injustice. During the course of CW's whining, Landon lies prone along the mat and shows absolutely no will to continue his fight. Only Megan's repeated insistence to stand and her reminders of the possibilities a MITB victory holds provide him with the motivation he needs to get to his feet. "LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS!" “Yes, I get it, you don't like me very much. Thank you for the information!” Shaking off both cobwebs and the grating voices of the New Yorkers, Landon charges across the ring with a lariat aimed at his foe, who's still arguing with the referee. But, Wright catches sight of the rapidly arriving Spaniard and ducks his lariat. Before Maddix can go sailing past, CW quickly reaches behind him and hooks onto both of Landon's arms. La Cucaracha strains against Wright's hold, but its to no avail and with minimum effort The Natural is able to drag Landon down with a backslide. 1! MONEYMAKER Dominance is mine...I mean, ours. Yes. Ours. 2! Kickout! Landon rolls back onto his feet, gritting his teeth in determination. Despite his earlier failure, he again darts across the ring with a lariat. This time he meets with an even more painful result, as Wright grabs onto his slender shoulders, and in one brisk motion raises him into the sky then slams him onto the canvas with the Wright Off (Sky High)! The referee drops to his knees to count the ensuing pinfall.... 1! 2! Kickout! Neither the crowd nor CW can believe Landon's resiliency, and both aren't shy about vocalizing their share of disgust for the kick out. Wright, however, puts aside his grievances long enough to grab Landon by his moppy hair and bring him off the canvas. Attempting to take advantage of Maddix's groggy state, Wright throws him to the ropes. However, Landon recovers a portion of his strength and reverses the hold. But, CW stuns La Cucaracha by reversing his whip. Instead of throwing Landon to the cables, he brings him in close and rearranges his jaw with a superkick! Blood and spit fly from Landon's mouth as he hurtles backwards and crashes into the canvas. His vision of the city night is blurred, looking like a hazy mass of lights and stars. Barely able to see sky in front of him, he certainly can't notice Wright ascending to the top rope. COLE Christian Wright, going up! MONEYMAKER And Landon Maddix going down. COACH Hhhhaahahah! Good one, sir. Going down. Because Mikey said going up, and the opposite of up is down and also when someone loses that means they went down, so you're saying Landon is about to lose. And just a really good one sir. Yes. You rock, sir! Wright's 225 pounds come sailing off the top rope with a frog splash. By the time Landon realizes he's in grave danger, its already too late for him and Wright's body crashes into his slight chest with a booming thud! Though the audience gives a lukewarm response to Wright's signature attack, Mackenzie celebrates with full on glee and counts along with the referee. 1! 2! A narrow kickout! Landon's last ditch effort to stave off defeat leads Wright to believe his chances for victory are greater than ever before. As such he quickly scrambles back up the turnbuckle, ready to cave in Landon's chest with a second frog splash. But, Megan, just as sure as CW that Landon's MITB hopes have faded, rushes to save her boyfriend's tournament dreams. She scampers up the ring steps nearest Christian and begins leveling threats and accusations at him, anything to distract him from the mission of claiming victory over Landon. Wright yells, "Dispose of this fille de joie before her grime spatters my sight!" MONEYMAKER You heard the man! I don't know if you understood him, but you damn sure heard him! Mackenzie acts on Wright's orders, rushing over to the meddlesome assistant SWF commissioner. Snarling with rage, Mackie grabs onto Megan's pants in an effort to rip her from the steps. All she succeeds in doing is ripping Megan's pants inches down her slender hips for the coveted pantyshot! This may be just fine for Mackenzie's sapphic tendencies, but it does nothing for Wright who demands Mackenzie get rid of Megan. And so with one mighty effort, Mackenzie hurls Megan off the steps. Mackenzie mounts the semi-conscious and better yet, semi-clothed woman, under the questionable guise that it aids CW's chances for victory. But Wright hasn't a second to celebrate Megan's removal thanks to Landon Maddix running his way up the ropes and rocketing his knee into Wright's jaw! COLE Owwww! Did you hear that? MONEYMAKER Yes, I heard that, and the OAOAST brass is going to hear my complaints loud and clear if we lose because of Landon's trout mouthed flea ridden ring rat. COACH Heheheh, fleas. I'd still smash. Wright is knocked senseless by the knee strike and teeters off balance on his perch. This leaves him the perfect victim for the succession of elbows the pride of South Dakota rams into his noggin. Having weakened Wright with his elbows, Maddix meets with little trouble in lifting The Enterprise VP onto his shoulders in a standing fireman's carry position. This brings the formally indifferent audience to their feet, as even with their anti-Landon stance they can't help but be wowed by a possible top rope G2S. Even Mackie has to pause from subtlety trying to depants Megan to watch the proceedings with an empty dread. MONEYMAKER No! This can not be! Moneymaker's worst fears are realized, as Landon leaps from the ropes with Wright slung across his shoulders. As they near the ground, Maddix throws CW off his body and lifts his knee towards his chest. Wright's face collides with Landon's knee, sending the brutal sound of his nose cracking in two throughout Manhattan. Whereas Wright bombs across the canvas, unable to properly brace himself for the fall, Landon comes down gracefully and bows to an audience that's too wowed by his amazing finisher to jeer him. “Your fancy words and college education didn't help you there did it, school boy jones?” Landon wonders “You and your need to educated yourself and improve your mind by learning about the world. Makes me sick!” COLE A top rope go to sleep! And that has to be nighty-night for Christian Wright's Money In The Bank dreams! MONEYMAKER Not if I have anything to say about it. And I have quite a bit to say about it as a matter of fact. Discarding his head set to the ground, the billion dollar heir leaps over sofa central intent on doing everything in his power to make sure this match goes in his partner's favor. He nears the ring, and begins to crawl beneath the lower rope. However, his ascent into the squared circle is hindered by James Blonde, who stretches out beneath the apron and holds firm on Moneymaker's ankles! Unable to escape the frustratingly tight grip of the Trend Setter, Moneymaker looks on with depressed eyes as the referee counts the crucial pinfall. 1! 2! 3! DING DING DING COACH Ohhh man! It ain't gonna be a fun limo ride back to the Moneymaker's vacation home in the Hamptons. The fans toss a bombardment of boos into the night, as Landon dismounts Wright and leaps into the air with such an incredible joy one might think he just won the entire tournament. Perhaps a greater pleasure than any tournament victory is the sight of Moneymaker slamming his fist on the canvas in rage. As he stands atop the turnbuckle, proclaiming his impending Mister MITB status, he flashes Moneymaker the infamous "money fingers" mocking the billion dollar heir. On the outside James Blonde takes much delight in applauding Maddix's win, and informing nearby fans that Landon wouldn't have had a chance without his timely interference BUFFER The winner of this bout and advancing to the second round of the Money In The Bank Tournament....the reigning Mister Money In The Bank LANDON MADDIX! Landon excitedly bangs his head from side to side, whipping his stringy hair into a whirlwind as his lips form a smile as wide as the entire park. Moneymaker can only slink away in shame, supporting an exhausted Wright, as Mackenzie promises the war is yet won. COLE There are many stars in the night sky, but few shine as bright as Landon Maddix's! La Cucaracha takes one step forward to repeating as the Money In The Bank winner, and scores a victory in his stable's fight against The Enterprise. Folks, The Enterprise gets another crack at victory when we come back with The Big Apple Spectacular. COMING UP NEXT HELL COMES IN SIXES MISTER DICK AND V.I.C.E Vs THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESS AND BARON WINDELLS NEXT

-The New York City skyline radiates as the screen fades back to the action of the OAOAST. The 50,000 plus fans surround the ring, eagerly anticipating the next match. We switch now to COLE AND COACH! COLE Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome back to the OAOAST BIG APPLE SPECTACULAR! We are here LIVE in the beautiful Great Lawn of Central Park. The next match we have in the pipeline? Well, I have no need to tell you how incredible it's going to be! COACH You said it, bitchfist! This is going to be intense! COLE That's ri - wait, wha?...That's Right! We have two people, both in their VERY FIRST OAOAST match! First, a man that many are calling, "The Best New Talent in Pro Wrestling Today," the son of the respected Boston/New York "businessman," Colin Maguire...we have Colin Maguire, Jr! The kid is said to have incredible skills, Coach. COACH That's right! He has been earning this reputation in Japan, in England, in the East Coast independents, in Mexico...this kid has wrestled with the greats, he has won titles all over the place, and tonight, he's bringing his talents to the OAOAST! COLE And in the other corner, we have someone who has, pretty much, already proven himself to the OAOAST fans! The current SJPW Cruiserweight Champion, Jereme Grey! COACH Cole, this kid is simply put, a technical wizard. As we saw in his title match, he can apply that "Tripod" Triangle Choke at ANY time! This kid is dangerous! He has been training in the art of Mixed Martial - get it? - and this kid...he simply has to be watched to believed, Mike. COLE Combine these two with the incredible backdrop of New York City, AND the fact that this is a Submissions Only match? I smell Match of the Year... COACH ...Actually, I think you smell the homeless guy taking a shit right behind us... HOMELESS RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!! CUE: "The Rocky Road to Dublin" by The Young Dubliners -The fans erupt as the lights surrounding the entrance ramp, AngleTron, and ring start to flash green and orange. BUFFER "The following contest!...IS A SUBMISSIONS ONLY MATCH! AND IS FOR THE SJPW CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!! Entering first, from Boston, Massachusetts... -The cheers IMMEDIATELY turn to boos. The curtain flies open, and out struts Colin Maguire, Jr. His sister Evelyn walks immediately behind him. BUFFER being accompanied to the ring by Evelyn Maguire...weighing in at Two Hundred and Fifteen Pounds...COLIN! MAGUIRE...JUUUUUUUNIOOORRRRR!!! -After hearing the name "Colin Maguire," the boos immediately turn back to cheers. Why? You know why. Colin slides into the ring as Evelyn makes her way up the stairs. Colin removes his black track suit and throws them to Evelyn, who shakes her head as she walks back down the steps. ....All the lights turn off... CUE: "Rockers to Swallow" by Yeah Yeah Yeahs -The fans erupt as lights begin flashing along with the strumming of the guitar. The curtain opens, and out walks the current SJPW Cruiserweight Champion, Jereme Grey! BUFFER AND HIS OPPONENT! From London, England by way of Marseille, France...weighing in at two hundred and five pounds...He is THE SJPW CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION....he is JEREMEEEEEEEEEE GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!! -Jereme throws his hands in the air, lifting the title high into the air before beginning his walk down the rampway. COACH Jereme Grey's "Tripod" Triangle Choke versus Colin Maguire, Jr.'s "Boston Strangler" Anaconda Choke. Oh, this is going to be great! -Jereme winks at Evelyn as he walks up the steel steps, causing the Irish gal to smile coyly. Jereme climbs into the ring and hands the belt to the referee, who raises it high in the air. Colin paces around the ring, staring a hole through Jereme, who stands still, rolling his neck. Buffer leaves the ring... DING DING DING!! -AND BOTH MEN EXPLODE!! Colin swings his arm wildly, attempting a huge lariat, but Jereme ducks underneath. Both men stop and turn on a dime, but it's Jereme who gets the upperhand, tackling Colin with a double leg takedown! The fans erupt as Jereme stands quickly, delivering the boots to Colin's head and neck. Jereme quickly grabs Colin's head and stands him up... WHACK!! FANS WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! -WHACK!!! FANS WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! -WHACK FANS WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! -Jereme pushes Colin into the ropes before Irish Whipping him in the opposite direction. Colin rebounds as Jereme runs towards him. Jereme grabs his arm, before twisting around and jumping...AND JEREME WRAPS HIS LEGS AROUND COLIN'S NECK AND ARM!...BUT COLIN LIFTS HIM UP... CRASH!! COLE A HUGE POWERBOMB FROM COLIN MAGUIRE! -The powerbomb shakes Jereme loose of his grasp, and Colin is quick to take advantage. Colin begins swinging his leg, soccer style, towards Jereme's ribs. Jereme covers up the best he can, but the strong kicks come fast and frequent. Colin quickly grabs Jereme by the hair and lifts him, only getting him to his knees. Jereme's fist hits Colin's stomach hard, but not hard enough to release the hold. Colin rears his leg back... WHAM!!! FANS OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! -Evelyn covers her mouth, a small scream escaping, courtesy of Colin's incredibly strong knee to Jereme's head. Jereme crumples backwards into the ropes, but Colin isn't far behind! Colin drops to one knee, and begins driving the other into the ribs of Jereme Grey! COLE Those vicious knees! By God, they're going to snap a rib! COACH And that's EXACTLY what Colin Maguire Jr. is trying to do! If Jereme's ribs are broken, the more painful it will be for him to breath, and when you're locked in the Boston Strangler, air is scarce. This is almost guaranteeing Colin the victory! -Jereme, being only slightly conscious, once again tries his best to cover up against the knees. Hell, he blocks a few, but the rest land viciously. With each knee, Jereme's air supply becomes all out of love. He's so lost without it. COLE I know you were right/Belieeeeving for Soooo long! COACH ...Wh...what are you doing? COLE Huh? COACH Huh? -Evelyn covers her eyes as Colin picks Jereme up to a standing position, pushing him into the turnbuckle... WHACK!! FANS WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! WHACK FANS WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! -The pain intensifies with each chop, causing Jereme to wince every time. Colin grabs Jereme by the wrist, and whips him towards the opposite corner. Jereme hits the corner hard, causing him to bounce out slightly.... WHAM!!! FANS OHH!!!! COLE A DOUBLE KNEE TURNBUCKLE SMASH!!! -Colin Maguire rolls backward from the force of the knee smash, as Jereme staggers out of the corner. Colin stands quickly and drives his shoulder into Jereme's ribs, driving the Frenchman back into the turnbuckle, and in one fluid motion, Colin lifts Jereme up.... COLE TORTURE RACK!! -Jereme lets out an intense scream as Colin bounces up and down, slamming Jereme's ribs onto his shoulders. Colin smiles wide as Evelyn watches, a shimmer of dread and horror in her eyes. COLE Well, Josie Baker never said that these guys needed to use their own submissions to finish each other off! It looks like a Torture Rack - COACH Of all things... COLE - is going to be finishing Jereme Grey off! -The ref checks on Jereme, who still screams in pain, but shakes his head. Colin once again smiles as he lifts Jereme up off his shoulders...AND DROPS HIM RIBS FIRST ONTO HIS KNEE!! WHAMCRASH!~!~ The force of the rib breaker causes Jereme to stand, then drop to his knees. Evelyn once again lightly screams and covers her eyes, turning away from whats happening in the ring. COLE If Jereme Grey's ribs weren't broken before...By God, they SURE are now! -Jereme falls forward, clutching at his ribs. Colin smiles smugly as he picks Jereme up to a standing position. Colin whips Jereme, towards the ropes. Jereme, however, wraps his arm around the top rope, stopping him. Colin smirks before running for...NO! Colin stops in his tracks, and turns to face his sister...who just grabbed his foot! COLE EVELYN MAGUIRE JUST STOPPED HER BROTHER! WHY WOULD SHE DO SUCH A THING?! -Evelyn just stares at Colin, her eyes and mouth wide. She slowly shakes her head, mouthing "I'm Sorry" as Colin glares at her. He shakes his head in a disappointed manner before turning around... ONLY TO FIND JEREME GREY WAITING FOR HIM!! Colin swings his arm, trying to punch Jereme in the face, but Jereme grabs it and leaps!! He wraps his legs around Colin's neck as he falls! Jereme hits the mat hard, forcing him to let out a groan, but the Tripod Triangle Choke is locked in!! COLE TRIPOD! TRIPOD!! TRIPOD!!! -The fans erupt as Colin tries his hardest to squirm out of the hold, but Jereme has it locked in too tight. Colin lifts his free arm...WHAM!! A hard punch straight to the ribs of Jereme Grey! Jereme groans, but he does not relinquish the hold!! In fact, Jereme lifts his legs up, as well as his pelvis, creating a fulcrum on Colin's arm! The Triangle Choke is now unbreakable! Colin tries his hardest to stand and possibly slide out of it, but it's no use. He drops to one knee...then the other knee drops... COLE Colin Maguire's face is turning bright blue! If he doesn't tap soon, he'll be out cold! COACH Colin Maguire Jr will never tap to the likes of Jereme Grey! He has FAR too much pride! -Colin's eyes slowly start to close as he falls to the side. The ref slides over to Colin. REF Colin!? Hey! -The ref grabs Colin's free hand and lifts.... ...and it falls to the mat... REF ONE!!! -Once again, Colin's hand is lifted... ...and once again it falls to the mat... REF/FANS TWO!!!! -The Ref looks at Jereme, who still has the Tripod locked in tight, before lifting Colin's hand once again.... ...and once again it hits the mat! COLIN MAGUIRE, JR. IS OUT COLD!! The ref waves his arms as he stands, yelling, "He's out! He's out!" DING DING DING!! -The fans erupt as "Rockers to Swallow" hits the P.A. system. Both Jereme Grey and Colin Maguire, Jr. lie motionless in the ring. BUFFER "Ladies and Gentlemen...your winner......and STILL...SJPW Cruiserweight Champion....JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEREEEMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!" -The cheers continue as the ref lays Jereme's title belt over his chest. Jereme suddenly moves, clutching at his ribs as he turns to his side. COLE Fans! This match REALLY took it out of both competitors! Jereme Grey's ribs might be broken, and Colin Maguire, Jr. is STILL out cold! COACH I told you, Mikey, Colin Maguire, Jr. would NOT tap for Jereme Grey. The only way you can get a win over Colin is for him to be knocked out... -Evelyn slowly backs up the ramp, staring at the ring. She backs past two crews of EMT's who rush down to the ring, both pushing stretchers. COLE And what will the IRA make of Evelyn Maguire costing her brother the match AND the title?! COACH Oh, Mike, it does NOT bode well for her, I'll tell you that much. On that note, I will GLADLY sign up to be her bodyguard. ...And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-ee-IIII...will al-ways...LOOOOOOOOVE YOOOOO-uh-OOOOO-uh-OOOOO-ee-aye!!!" COLE ...Aaaand on that disturbing note, we're gonna take a commercial break...STICK AROUND FANS!! -The screen fades out on a shot of Evelyn's face, her eyes wide with shock....Fade to... オハイオ州のワウ! オハイオ州のワウ! 小さいpervs か。水着の女の子のおもちゃがありたいと思う! 今できる! 買物それ買物それ買物それ!!! COMING UP NEXT STABLE WARFARE: FIRST ROUND MONEY IN THE BANK MATCH LANDON MADDIX VS CHRISTIAN WRIGHT NEXT COMMERCIAL

Changed Kris entrance song to MGMT's Electric Feel, cuz that song goes hard, yes homo cuz id mac on that lead singer asap. no joke right thurr. Added in Malaysia's song, and the Love Generation's cause I got links like that.

awww snap! 4-6(7?) matches are already dunzo, it just may come up tonight! and, yep, the tour schedule says BIG APPLE SPECTACULAR 7/24