Patty O'Green

COLE Are you ready for what's next, Coach? COACH Lay it on me, baby boy! What've we got? COLE A friendship put to the test through competition, that has now been torn apart by the lack of respect on one man's part. Zack Malibu and Bohemoth both set their sights on the OAOAST World Championship late last year, and decided that a friendly competition would push them to do their best as they climbed the ladder again. What began as a race to the top turned into a tense situation, only made worse when Bohemoth refused to shake Zack Malibu's hand after his Anglemania victory, claiming Zack was trying to steal his moment! COACH Malibu does love him some spotlight, though. COLE Zack's ALWAYS been a focal point, there's no doubt...but he paved the way for that next generation of stars such as Bohemoth. When they met again on HeldDOWN~! a few weeks ago Zack managed to even the score victory-wise, and again stuck out his hand, only for it to be rejected. Now Bohemoth claims that Zack is simply trying to keep himself positioned as the OAOAST's top star by any means necessary, despite the fact that, at least is Bo's mind, he's old news! COACH Those are some strong words, but if anyone can back 'em up... COLE ...they're strong words that have made these two men into bitter enemies rather quickly. Tonight, it's the rubber match, and hopefully it's the end, for better or for worse, of this heated rivalry! The cameras cut back to the ring, where the beloved Michael Buffer stands at center ring, ready for the next chapter in earning his paycheck tonight. BUFFER Ladies and gentlmen, this next contest is scheduled for one fall! "Liberate" comes up immediately, and while it's mostly boos, there are some scattered cheers for the Metrosexual Monster, who hasn't been too concerned about making friends or keeping them lately. Bohemoth steps out from behind the curtain and strolls up the ramp with a cocky swagger...or in his case, a bit cockier than usual. The big man steps through the ropes and flexes at the crowd, but his reception doesn't get any more positive for it, as it's obvious the fans have picked their side in this war. "Getting Away With Murder" hits next, and Bo removes his sunglasses just in time to witness his former friend appear at the top of the ramp. Through his pyro shower, Malibu walks tall, heading for the ring with that determined, focused look in his eye that you see every time there's a lesson to be taught. Tonight, it's about respect, and as Malibu has said before, he'll get it even if he has to beat it out of Bohemoth. Zack steps into the ring and Bo taunts him a bit, then smirks, but Zack isn't bothered in the least. He keeps his cool as the music dies down, and the two combatants are left standing across from each other, glaring with hostile intentions. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this match, here at School's Out, is a one fall contest not scheduled for any titles or contenderships. This one is simply about respect. First, to my left at this time, weighing in at two hundred and eighty four pounds, he hails from Greenville, South Carolina...known by the moniker of the Metrosexual Monster, he is BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHEEEEEEEEEEEMOTHHHHHH! Again, the fans reaction is not one of favortism, but Bo simply cracks his neck and jogs in place, warming up for the battle. BUFFER To my right stands a man synonymous with the OAOAST, and in fact this very event was named in his honor. He is a man who has done it all, including capturing the OAOAST World Championship on three seperate occasions. His resume speaks for itself, because he is known worldwide as not only the Modern Day Warrior, but as the Franchise of the OAOAST. From Providence, Rhode Island, he weighs in tonight at two hundred and ten pounds...ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK MALLLLLLLLLLLLLLIBUUUUUUUUUUUUU! The fans pop loudly, standing, brandishing signs, and showing nearly unanimous support for their hero, who isn't looking as happy go lucky as he usually is. Buffer exits the ring, and the two men come face to face, engaged in a staredown. DING! DING! DING! As soon as the bell sounds, Malibu dives for Bo's legs, trying to take the big man down to the canvas before he can mount any offense whatsoever! Using his power to keep a steady base, Bo doesn't budge, but as he leans over to pull Zack up, Malibu swings around into a rear waistlock. Reacting quickly, Bo spins back with an elbow, but Malibu ducks his head, and actually catches the big man off guard, enabling him to push Bohemoth into the corner! Nick Patrick calls for the break now that Bo has been put against the ropes, and Malibu obliges, stepping back to give Bo some space. Malibu offers his hand to Bo, then tells him in no uncertain terms "you're gonna shake this hand tonight!", the same hand that Bo slaps away as he comes out of the corner! The two men are now circling the ring, coming together in a lockup that gives Bo the advantage, as he uses sheer strength to back Zack into the corner, then strike with an open hand chop to the chest... WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ...and then a quick slaps to the face, stunning Zack! COLE Bohemoth getting a little cocky here at the start of what promises to be another Match of the Year candidate between these two great athletes! Zack wipes his mouth, then responds by spitting in Bo's face, showing that he's not above stooping to that level either! COACH Whoa, no! You mess with the bull, you get the horns! Infuriated, Bo charges the corner, but Zack slides out of the way, and takes Bo to the canvas with a rear waistlock, then hops off his back and traps him in a headlock while he's down. Not impressed with Malibu's quickness, Bo powers to his feet while in the hold and shoves Zack into the ropes, but Zack retaliates by coming off the ropes and sliding through Bo's legs, coming up behind him, and trapping him in another headlock! Bo again uses his power, this time lifting Zack off his feet and walking with him trapped in the air, then drops him over the ropes onto the apron! Zack fires off a right hand, but it gets blocked, and Bo tucks his arm under Zack's exposed right one, then biels him back into the ring the hard way! He pulls Zack up, then readies him for a back suplex, but Zack floats over and spins Bo around, delivering a hard kick to the midsection. He sets him up for a suplex, but Bo counters by pressing Zack overhead, then simply letting him crash facefirst into the canvas! Bo then turns and lightly kicks Zack across the face as he tries to push up, then forces Zack to have to roll out under the bottom rope as he stalks him, then leans over to pull him up off the apron. Bo readies Zack for a suplex and pulls him up into the air, but Malibu drops down behind him and uses a rolling cradle to bring Bo to the canvas! ONE! NO! Bo kicks Zack off, sending him careening towards the ropes, but the wily superstar uses the momentum to move through the ropes, back out to the apron, and deliver a springboard dropkick as the beastly Bohemoth came up off the mat! Zack now takes control of the situation, pulling Bo up and backing him into the ropes, but then finds himself shot towards the ropes again, as Bo counters! Bo tries a hiptoss on Malibu, but Zack maintains his ground, and brings a knee into Bo's gut, then traps him in a butterfly lock, continuing with the knees to the upper body! Bo struggles to break free, but the break comes from Zack, who charges the ropes on his own accord this time and comes back to blast Bo with a leaping lariat! COLE Malibu's found an opening and is taking charge, but there's no telling how long that can last, because as resilient as Malibu can be, so can Bohemoth! COACH A metrosexual and a prep having something in common? Nah. Malibu motions for Bo to get up, and then strikes with forearms before being shoved down to the canvas! He pops right back up and goes for Bo again, but this time Bo goozles Zack and backs him into the corner, holding him by the throat! The referee orders a break, and starts counting to five, although it's unnecessary because at the count of four, Bo biels Zack out of the corner, halfway across the ring by his throat! Zack lands hard, and when he pulls himself up, Bo runs into him and lifts him off his feet, plowing him into the far corner! Bo then starts clubbing on Zack, beating him down into a seated position, then runs the ropes, coming off with a FACEWASH~!...NO! Zack rolls out of the ring under the bottom rope and pulls Bo down by the ankle, then brings him to the floor where he unloads with right hands! The fans roar as Malibu cleans Bo's clock with repeated shots, but Bo puts a stop to it with a knee to the gut, then takes Zack by the head and hurls him into the steel corner post! COLE HE JUST THREW HIM FACE FIRST INTO THE STEEL! Zack is out cold, his face buried in the ringside floor, while Bo shakes off the effects of those punches. He comes over to Zack and stands above his fallen body, coldly looking at him as the arena fills with boos. Slowly, Bo reaches down and pulls Zack up, revealing a forehead gushing with blood, obviously cut open from being hurled into the ringpost. Bo lifts Zack up and stares at him, bleeding and incapable of mounting an offense...THEN TOSSES HIM HARD INTO THE RINGSIDE STAIRS! COACH DAMN! COLE What a cold, calculating...this Bohemoth, this disrespectful...I can't even say what I want to, but suffice to say, this is not the way you treat someone you respect! Zack collides with the stairs and slumps against them, and now Bo scrapes the bottom of his boot across Zack's forehead a few times, opening the cut further before pressing the same foot against his throat, choking him! Zack weakly flails his arms, trying to get free from the choke, but it's not until Bo's refusal to break at the count of five that the referee comes between them and orders the break. Bo does as he's told, but then goes right for Zack again, pulling him up and then whipping him into the guardrail! COLE He's treating Zack like a ping pong ball, sending him around ringside crashing into anything that's there! Zack rests against the guardrail, albeit momentarily, as Bo charges and hits a hard lariat that dumps him into the front row of fans! Once again, Nick Patrick steps in and tells Bo to lay off, not allowing him to give chase. Bo obliges grudgingly, and looms around ringside while the fans shower him with a symphony of catcalls. COACH Bo told Zack that not every fight was his...that Malibu just loves to be the center of attention. Right now, Mikey Cole, Zack is getting all of Bo's attention and then some, and I don't think he's liking it very much! COLE Well, if this is Bo's idea of tough love, it's sickening. This has gone from a matter of respect to a vicious assault in a short period of time! Zack gets up and starts to climb over the guardrail, but in his groggy state, he's prone to assault, and that's exactly what happens, as Bo comes over and lifts him up, then crotches him on the guardrail! Bo then takes him off with a fireman's carry and carries him over to the apron, where he seats Zack on it and cracks him across the face with a hard slap before shoving him back into the ring! Bo slides in after him, then heads for the ropes, and comes off with a big splash that sends shockwaves through Zack's ribcage! Bo liked the move so much he gets up and does it again, and you can nearly hear the air being driven from Malibu's body after Bo crashed down on him! Bo comes up to a standing position, and drags Zack up with him, once again pressing him over his head before dropping him down, stomach first, across his knee! Zack flops to the mat, trying to curl up into a fetal position, but Bo pulls him in and hooks the leg, looking for a pin! ONE! TWO-NO! Zack gets the shoulder up, then both of them up, but that's only because Bo brings him to his feet, then lifts him up by the neck into a double handed chokehold! Malibu's feet dangle in the air as he tries to wriggle free, finally raking Bo's eyes to draw a break! Malibu catches himself as he's dropped, but then winds up dropped before he can get back on the offensive, as Bo spins him inside out with a hard running lariat! Bo fires spit through his gritted teeth as he fumes that Malibu nearly got back on the comeback trail, and pulls Zack up, whipping him to the ropes so that Zack's rebound sends him right into a spinebuster...but it doesn't, as Malibu counters the spinebuster by hooking Bo's head and scissoring his body, turning the spinebuster into a guillotine and taking him to the canvas! COLE Zack's got Bo trapped! That MMA studying, that martial arts background of his is paying off dividends right now, because he's able to offset, maybe even beat Bohemoth with this submission! Zack tightens his hold, as Bo tries to push up, but can't. He manages to roll over, hoping that the shift will loosen Zack's grasp, but Zack continues to roll and they wind up in the same exact position! COACH He ain't tapping yet, Mikey Cole! Bo might not be tapping, but the crowd is certainly motivating him towards that result, with chants of "TAP!" "TAP!" "TAP!" breaking out across the arena! Zack won't let go, but Bo struggles, and then powers up, getting to his feet with Zack still clinging to the guillotine, that is until he's run back first into the turnbuckles! That's enough to break, and while Zack slouches against the ropes, Bo falls to all fours, weary from being trapped in the hold so long. He pushes up and comes towards the corner, but catches a boot to the face from Zack, then gets his head mashed into the top turnbuckle! Zack then sets Bo up on the ropes and exits out to the apron, climbing up the turnbuckles. His face still soaked in his own blood, Zack takes Bo by the head and leads him up, while Zack simultaneously goes down, putting Bo across his shoulders and then leaping off the ropes, proving that gravity is not friends with Bo either as it sends the both of them crashing down, with Bo getting the worst of it, to the ring below with the HONOR ROLL~! COLE Look at them bounce off the canvas! That should have taken a lot out of Bo, but that show of power at this stage of the game did a number on Zack too! Malibu bounces off Bo on impact, but turns over and crawls towards him, going for the cover as soon as possible! ONE! TWO! NO! COACH Here comes that fighting spirit! COLE That's what they say about Zack, Coach. COACH Yeah, well now I'm sayin' it about Bo. I got a feeling that tomorrow will be a new day, Mikey Cole! Zack rises, and with Bo still down, drops a knee into his forehead. A second one finds its mark and rattles the big man, but rather than keep him down, Zack brings him up to his feet, then drops him with a jawbreaker! Bo staggers back clutching at his mouth, while Zack bounces off the ropes and connects with a spinning wheel kick that plants Bo on his back once again! Zack gets to his feet and leaps onto the middle rope, then springs back with an Asai moonsault, crashing on top of Bohemoth, and stays there, looking for a three count! ONE! TWO! T-NO! Zack doesn't get the duke, but he's focused on that goal, bringing him up to his feet and unloading with a flurry of open hand strikes, knocking Bo's head to the left and to the right repeatedly before dropping him with an inverted atomic drop, then swinging around and carrying Bo over with a German suplex, but in true Malibu fashion he holds onto his rival and rolls the both of them to their feet, dropping Bo with another German, and again not leaving off with just two! COLE A Malibu tradition! The Rolling Suplexes have been taken out of the playbook and put to use here tonight at School's Out! Zack brings Bo back to his feet, but this time Bo fires an elbow back, then reaches back and snapmares Zack over his shoulder to the canvas. After a moment of reeling, Bo comes off the ropes with an elbow, but hits nothing but canvas, as Zack moves, then delivers a legdrop to the fallen star! Zack then yanks Bo off the mat, resting him in a seated position, and delivers several hard soccer kicks to the back, each one creating a SMACK! louder than the last! Zack follows up with a rolling snapmare that puts Bo on his back once again, and as Bo sits up holding his sore neck, his face is drilled by Zack's two feet, as the former OAOAST World Champion connects with a low dropkick! COLE The wear and tear is becoming apparent, as Zack is not giving Bo any leeway whatsoever! COACH Of course he can't...Bo's already busted him wide open, and if Zack lets up, he's gonna get broken in two! Bo pushes up, but he's met with a European uppercut from his foe, and a second one that sends him stumbling back into the corner! Zack paces himself, then gets a full head of steam and charges in, striking with a leaping corner splash...BUT BO CATCHES HIM AND RUNS TO CENTER RING, SPIKING ZACK WITH A SPINEBUSTER! COACH YO~! COLE That could be the changing of the tides right there! Bohemoth cut Malibu short, and turned his spine into jelly with that spinebuster! Neither man is moving, both spent from their efforts thus far. Moments go by with them gasping for air and staring at the lights, but eventually, they start to come to. Bo is the one who has the slight advantage, getting to his feet while Zack is still coming up, and sets up to take him down once again...but when he goes for a running lariat, Malibu tucks his head and elevates Bohemoth over the ropes, causing him to splat out on the ringside floor while Zack falls to all fours in the ring. COLE Malibu can't even stand on his own two feet, but he's managed to get Bo out of his hair and get himself some much needed recovery time! COACH I don't know about that! Coach is referring to the fact that Malibu is in motion, bouncing off the ropes yet again with a daring look in his eye, propelling himself through the ropes and at Bohemoth with a tope...THAT GETS CAUGHT AND TURNED INTO THE EROTIC AWAKENING OF B OUT ON THE RINGSIDE FLOOR~! COLE OH MY GOD! MY GOD! ZACK JUST GOT SENT HALFWAY TO HELL WITH THAT MOVE! COACH Oh he's feeling hell right now, Mikey Cole! Bo just left a dent in the shape of Zack's body in the concrete! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" Bo himself can't even seem to grasp what he's just done, catching Malibu on the dive and instinctively using his patented finisher to lay him out! Bo gets up, but Malibu is yet to have that luxury, his aching body laying perfectly still on the floor. It's not until moments later, that Bo is able to stand on his own two feet that Malibu is helped up...not out of mercy, mind you, but simply so Bo can roll him into the ring and cover him! ONE! TWO! THREE...NO! NO! ZACK MALIBU KICKS OUT! COACH WHAT? WHAT? COLE HE KICKED OUT! ZACK MALIBU KICKED OUT! The fans ROAR, because the surefire match-ender has turned into just another near fall! Bo's eyes go wide, and he goes so far as to run his hands over his head, shocked that Malibu was able to survive his finishing move on the floor! Angered, Bo violenty yanks Zack up, and sets him up for a powerbomb, lifting him and spiking him into the canvas! Rather than go for another pin, Bo clings to Zack, and deadlifts him off the mat again, dropping him with a second powerbomb! This time Bo cradles his legs, pressing them down to have some leverage as he goes for the victory! ONE! TWO! THREE...NO! NO! ANOTHER KICK OUT! Reaching a new level of furious, Bo hooks Zack's legs and pulls him up, letting him dangle upside down before spinning round and round with a giant swing, releasing Malibu and sending him flying through the air before coming down with a crash landing! Dizzied from the swing, Bo goes and rests in a corner, while Zack can barely muster a groan in his condition. Groggy, he manages to roll over and push up to his knees, then one knee, but Bo catches him coming to and comes out of the corner, ready to inflict more pain...until Zack manages a low dropkick out of desperation, taking Bo's knee out from under him! Bo drops to one knee, and Zack stands up, but nearly falls over until he's caught by the ropes. After catching himself, Zack bursts forward, knowing he needs to strike...and connects with a ZACK ATTACK to the side of Bo's head, knocking him silly! Zack collapses on top of him, and Patrick once again does what he's getting paid for! ONE! TWO! THR-NO! SHOULDER UP! COLE Quick thinking by Zack, knocking Bo senseless with the Zack Attack...or so he thought! COACH This ain't gonna be no three hour show the way these two are going back and forth! Zack brings Bo up and delivers two hard knees that keep him doubled over, then comes off the ropes with a running kick...but Bo sidesteps it and catches Zack in a full nelson, then uses it to lift him up and slam him to the canvas! Bo falls back, his equilibrium still thrown off, but not enough for him to try for victory once again! ONE! TWO! TH-NO! ANOTHER KICKOUT! COLE I have seen Malibu bloodied before...I have seen him in the fights of his life, and this is no exception, and it always amazes me that he has such a tolerance for pain! COACH How does that surprise you? He's friends with you! COLE OUCH, Coach! Bo slams his hands on the mat in anger, then takes Malibu by the head and clubs him repeatedly, drawing more blood out of the drying wound across his head. Bo shouts at Zack, telling him to "give it up" and "stay down", then lets Zack flop back to the canvas. Bo stands up and pulls Zack up with him, taking him in his arms in center ring and setting up for THE EROTIC AWAKENING OF B...but as he swings out, Zack swings out a bit too far, to a vertical base, and is able to counter with an ANGLE SLAM that drops Bo on the back of his neck! Zack rolls over and grabs a leg, hooking it tightly as he prays this will end this match. ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! NO! BOHEMOTH KICKS OUT AT THE LAST MILLISECOND! COLE What he lacks in respect, he makes up for in resilience, that's for sure! Malibu rolls off of Bo, wondering what he could possibly do to get the monster of his back once and for all. He comes up to his feet and readies himself for a School's Out once Bo rises, but Bohemoth is so exhausted he can barely move on his own anymore. Zack circles him, looking for an opening, then opts to bring Bo up the hard way...but finds himself shoved into the ropes! He rebounds, and Bo presses him up into the air, watching as he flapjacks back down to earth, smashing into the canvas! Zack staggers up to his feet, and wanders right into Bo's arms, defenseless as he's lifted up and planted with the Erotic Awakening of B once again! ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! COLE I'll be damned! Bohemoth wins the rubber match! COACH Condoms? THAT'S what this match was about? COLE ... "Liberate" is cued up, but it's not enough to cover the booing of the fan favorite who isn't exactly on everyone's good side lately. Bohemoth has his hand raised, but he's more concerned with his own well being, as he pulls away from the ref and leans against the ropes, taking some much needed deep breaths. COLE Give credit to Zack Malibu, he put up a hell of a fight as always, but it looks like this man, this Metrosexual Monster as we call him, has his number! Zack is slow to recover, but comes up to his feet while Bo watches from the corner, and then comes up behind Zack. Nick Patrick sees Bo motioning and steps in between, but Patrick gets shoved away, a move with causes Zack to spin around and see what's going on. The two rivals stand nose to nose again, and you'd swear Bo was blowing steam out of his nostrils. While it's not widely heard, the cameras pick up Bo talking, mentioning to Zack that he gave him "the fight of his life"...and then extends a hand to Zack Malibu! COLE What? COACH I don't know Mikey Cole, this could be a trap! The fans are conflicted...some say to take it, some say to watch out. Malibu ponders it for a second, but Bo just stands there, hand extended...and Malibu, acting as the bigger man, reaches out and shakes it to a HUGE pop! COLE There it is! There's that respect that Zack wanted all along! Bo pats Zack on the shoulder, and then the two hug before Zack raises Bo's hand, celebrating as his theme song comes up again. COLE Well I'll be...after another war in their series, finally Bohemoth offered to Zack the same handshake that he turned down twice before, and hopefully this competitive feud that turned into a heated rivalry is behind them! Zack motions to Bo to have his moment, and exits the ring, heading up the ramp defeated, but proud. Meanwhile Bo gets up on the turnbuckles and raises his arms, posing for the fans who are swaying back his way, while his music blares from the speakers.

OAOAST School's Out 2008 continues but the action has left the safety of the ring and ran screaming and hollering at the top of it's lungs with lunch money in hand over at the side of the entrance stage, where the OAOAST schoolyard stands. A hopscotch board has been drawn in chalk on the concrete floor and a basketball hoop is set up facing away from the crowd. At the side of the schoolyard sits a box of playground equipment, just like you'd see in any schoolyard. Maybe. Surrounding the perimeter of the schoolyard are the rest of the women of the OAOAST, having gathered to watch the big catfight about to ensue, most getting into the spirit of things by arriving in schoolgirl outfits. A pan of the females sees many vindictive smiles as they await the big fight. One face we can't see is Molly Nerdly's, perched behind the Siclopse ready to capture the action. COACH Got to admire Molly, such a dedicated student, no recess for her. Even now she's busy working on her latest project for her media studies class. COLE Coach, we're not really in school. COACH Hmm. That explains why your pants haven't been hoisted up to your eyeballs..... yet. We continue to pan the assembled schoolgirls, the likes of Holly-Wood, Mackenzie DeCenzo and Jade Rodez who looks to be about the only one worried about the prospect of this fight, with it being between two of her good friends. COACH Man, I wish school was like this when I was a boy though. COLE Why, you wouldn't have been able to do anything back then either. Anyway, our next match will be an unorthodox one in many ways. The first the fact it's not really a 'match', but rather a Schoolyard Scrap. The OAOAST Women's Title will be on the line and it will be sister versus sister! That's right, a sibling rivalry as Maggie Nerdly defends her title against big sister Melody. The two sisters had quite the falling out this past Thursday night on HeldDOWN~! over tensions that have been building, over Maggie's boyfriend Leon Rodez's friendship with Melody. And like most disputes of this kind, it'll be settled on the schoolyard. COACH First of all Mikey, you've gotta understand what life was like in the Nerdly household growing up. COLE Wouldn't you have to be a Nerdly to describe that? COACH I'm good friends with Abdullah. Anyway, these sort of fights are nothing unusual. Brothers and sisters fight, that's just the way it is. So imagine having 30 something brothers and sisters, even Abdullah's lost count, there's gonna be tension. Especially when it comes to romance. Nerdlys can't be choosers. And the talent pool in Edmonton is pretty slim, even before you take into consideration half the people your age share your DNA. Anyway, point is, this ain't the first dispute over boyfriends in the Nerdly household. Just ask Marv and Mel! COLE Wonderful. Let's go over to our schoolyard reporter... that's a new one on me... little Joshua Matthews. Stood outside of the circle of schoolgirls is Josh Matthews, in a typically humilating schoolboy get-up. Even in a grey blazer, loose red tie, grey shorts, long white socks and black shoes, Josh maintains his dignity... ah, who am I kidding. J.MATH Okay folks, gather round for the fight of the semester! You've all heard the whispers and read the notes secretly passed around... there's boy trouble in the Nerdly family. And we're gonna settle it right here in the schoolyard. Rules are simple. Pinfalls, submissions or forcing your opponent to run away to tell a teacher! Time limit... until the schoolbell rings. And the Women's Title is on the line! Introducing first, the challenger. She's a Grade A student all the way, a prominent member of the school debate team, chief editor of the school newspaper and was voted Best Braces And Mouthguards Class Of 1992... MELODY NERDLYYYY!!! The catty schoolgirls boo and jeer the arrival of Melody, having proved her sister wrong from earlier by wearing a schoolgirl outfit after all. With her hair done up in pigtails, Melody carries off her nerdy persona a lot better than she did when she wasn't a smoking hot 28 year old. Still the OAOAST 'in crowd' namecall her way as she makes her way into the schoolyard. Shouts of 'nerd', 'geek' and 'which one are you again?' don't bother Melody as much as they used to either. She's completely focused on this fight, save for a smile over at Jade. J.MATH And ladies and... more ladies, please welcome your reigning champion of the schoolyard! She describes herself as 'too cool for school', which I guess is meant to be ironic or something. A friend to all, from the cheerleaders to the chess club, she's one Nerdly who never had any trouble fitting in. The reigning Women's Champion and the reigning girlfriend of everybody's dream prom date Leon Rodez, looking to get her claws into the rumoured heiress to her throne. Widely considered the top public speaker in all of the Canadian schools system... she is MAGGIE NERDLYYYY!!! No kinder response greets the Women's Champion as she skips her merry way down the school steps and towards the schoolyard. On her back she carries her bright pink rucksack, adorned with snapshots of herself and boyfriend Leon together and with the Women's Title belt hanging from the front compartment. Maggie hands the rucksack to Josh with a cheeky wink. And as Josh reminisces over the moment he hit puberty in a weird moment of déja vú, Maggie steps into the schoolyard. COLE This is already the most bizarre thing we've seen... all week! COACH And that's saying something in the OAOAST! As Maggie and Melody step closer to each other, referee Charles Robinson, also saddled with the humilation of being dressed like a schoolboy, steps out beside them. *BA-RIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!* COLE There's the... uh, schoolbell? Whatever, this match is underway. The rest of the schoolgirls suddenly start to close their little circle in a little and start to egg the two sisters on to start tearing the hell out of each other. All except Jade of course, who gets a smile from Maggie, stretching her already divided loyalties. Maggie and Melody square up and start exchanging words, words which become more and more heated and more and more bitchy. Melody throws up a big 'L' to her forehead, Maggie responding with a flippant 'W' with her thumbs and forefingers. "FIGHT!" "FIGHT!" "FIGHT!" "FIGHT!" Whipped up by the crowd of onlookers, Maggie and Melody both suddenly make a dart to the left to the box of equipment. Both girls then run right back to their starting positions, both clutching DODGEBALLS! COLE I think it's safe to say we've never in the history of the OAOAST seen two schoolgirls, face to face, clutching tightly onto balls and ready to attack. COACH Rest assured if we did, the ratings, amongst other things, would go through the roof! Maggie and Melody square up and start to play chicken with one another. Maggie feints to throw the ball to see if Melody will flinch. Melody does the same and Maggie does flinch. So Melody quickly throws the dodgeball... incredibly weakly, despite all the effort she seems to put into her throw. The ball passes harmlessly past Maggie by about three feet and Melody curses to herself... *BOING!* ...ALLOWING MAGGIE TO SMACK HER RIGHT IN THE FACE WITH HER DODGEBALL!! COACH OH! SO SERVED! COLE That's why Maggie made her high school volleyball and hockey teams and Melody... well, didn't. Sports, not exactly her fortay. Having fallen on her BUTT, poor Melody is mocked by the cruel hatefilled women of the OAOAST, plus Maggie who breaks out into her own special version of an endzone dance. Different sport, but close enough. Checking her nose for blood, Melody quickly stands back up and makes a dash for the equipment box again. Maggie is right behind her though and as Melody grabs another dodgeball, she's taken down with a schoolgirl (the move!) 1... 2... No! Both girls scramble to their feet, but go back down as Melody forces Maggie into an awkward looking lateral press... 1... 2... No. Both girls again scramble back up, with the assembled OAOAST schoolgirls cheering them on. Angry at the dodgeball in the face still, Melody SHOVES Maggie in the chest. Maggie can't quite believe that Melody just did that, as evident by her "oh no you didn't" reaction, so she proves that "oh yes she did" by shoving her again. Maggie responds by grabbing hold of Melody's pigtails! So Melody quickly grabs Maggie's highlighted blonde hair and the two girls fall to the schoolyard floor tearing at hair and scalp! COACH Yes! Oh that is what I am TALKING ABOUT! COLE It's broken down into a pure catfight again, just like we saw earlier on. Jade Rodez contemplates breaking it up while the rest of the females egg the warring Nerdlys on. As the two scrap on the concrete floor they roll around trying to get control. Their rolling eventually takes them over to Molly Nerdly and bumping into the Siclopse tripod! Molly barely manages to catch the camera before it hits the floor and looks incensed, so much so that she dives into the catfight as well!! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh my! Triple the Nerdlys, triple the fun! COACH My mom was right, God DOES love me! Jumping in, Mackenzie DeCenzo grabs Molly off of her sisters and back into the circle. Ruefully, Molly apologises for what came over her and goes back behind the camera lens. Meanwhile, Melody and Maggie drag themselves back up still clawing onto hair. They back up against the basketball pole and Melody grabs two thick handfuls of hair, before CLUNKING her sister's head off the metal pole! COLE Ooh! This is getting nasty now. Maggie slumps down the basketball pole and is dragged onto her back, allowing Melody to make the pin... 1... 2... Kickout! Going back over to the equipment box, Melody reaches in and produces a SKIPPING ROPE. Not trusting her uncordinated lower body to actually skip (it's a nerd thing, trust me), she instead wraps the skipping rope around her fist and WHIPS Maggie across the back! COACH Oh it gets better. If there is a jar of butter in that equipment box I swear a brother's gonna lose it over here! Again Maggie gets whipped with the skipping rope, before Melody makes another cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Remember, this is believe it or not a Women's Championship match. Throwing the skipping rope aside, Melody grabs Maggie by the hair again and tries to throw her face into the ground. Maggie fights her off though and quickly tackles her to the ground, grabbing hold of the skipping rope and tieing it around her throat! COACH Okay, that's a little too kinky for my liking. But not for MALAYSIA NERDLY'S though! COLE Wait a minute, what the hell is she doing out here!? COACH This is how Nerdly schoolyard fights always used to end, with Malaysia having to seperate it. DEFINATELY not in a schoolgirl costume and definately not invited either, Malaysia barges her way through the circle of onlookers and grabs a hold of Maggie's hair. She drags the Women's Champion off of Melody... and then throws her face-first forward into the concrete floor to a gasp from the Albany crowd!! COLE OH! COACH Hmm, I don't recall them ending quite so violently though. The other OAOAST women wisely get the hell out of the way, as Malaysia now stalks after Melody. Seeing her friends in trouble Jade Rodez tries to step in and help. But Malaysia just casually piefaces her away, sending Jade spiralling to the concrete as well and coming down with all her weight on her right elbow! With Jade and Maggie down, Malaysia then turns back to Melody... and lays her out with a clothesline! Malaysia stands tall with all three women down and hurting, looking up at the booing people who don't appreciate their up-close schoolgirl action being interrupted. COLE Malaysia has just laid to waste her two sisters, and Jade Rodez. And now what!? Apparantly not done, Malaysia hooks a hold of Melody's feet and locks her in the Inverted Boston Crab!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Melody screams out in pain as he back is tortured from the agonising hold, forcing referees to pile out from the back. It takes fully three male referees to pull the mighty Malaysia off of her sister. Malaysia just smiles in satisfaction, as she's then manhandled back towards the locker room before she can do any more damage. Other referees now tend to the three girls left in her wake as we go back to Sofa Central. COLE Well, unfortunately, I guess that's the end of the Schoolyard Scrap. Neither Maggie or Melody are going to be able to continue after that. Malaysia Nerdly just gatecrashing this match and physically incapacitating her own two sisters, throwing girls around like ragdolls! COACH Don't worry, she's got plenty more sisters where Melody and Maggie came from. COLE I don't know what this Malaysia's problem is, but that was uncalled for. COACH You know what else was uncalled for? The way she was bullied through her childhood by the Nerdly family. Well paybacks are a bitch... in this case, a big mean one who I sure as hell wouldn't cross any time soon. COLE Well, while our referee attend to Maggie, Melody and Jade Rodez we continue on with School's Out 2008. And coming up next a massive rematch between two of the most massive stars in our industry, Zack Malibu and Bohemoth. Fans, if you don't have your Tivo or DVR-R set for this one.. COACH Then you a got dayum fool. COLE Wit yo good for nothing cracka ass! Now Available AT OAOASTShop! Not only will women shun you for wearing a wrestling shirt, men will mock you for wearing one hilariously out of date! Still a cool shirt, tho.

We focus on the ring, where Michael Buffer stands beneath a solitary purple spotlight. All around him the Albany fans are abuzz in anticipation of this upcoming contest, and scream at the top of their lungs. *DING DING DING* (slow and dramatic) BUFFER LLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen, this is our tag team showcase of the evening! Tonight, two of the most innovative tag teams in the history of our sport will lock horns, for the OAOAST tag team championship of the WORLD! ARE YOU READY? *crowd cheers* BUFFER Albany, New York...ARRRRRRRRE YYYYYYOUUUUUU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADY??? *crowd cheers* BUFFER Then for the thousands in attendance here at the Knickerbocker Arena, and the millions and millions watching around the world...there's only one thing left to say. Ladies and gentlemen...LLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRREADY TO RRRRRRUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! The Wall by Kansas plays, and the crowd boos as the lights go out. The entryway is lit up by yellow strobes, then yellow smoke fills it up, with Thunderkid and Reject walking through. BUFFER Coming to the ring at this time...at a combined weight of 485 pounds! Together again as a team, they look to win their first World tag team championship, and add another notch onto their already impressive careers. Ladies and gentlemen, the challengers...representing the Deadly Alliance...the team of THHHHHHHHHHUNDERKIIIIIIID and RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEJEEEEEEEEEEEEEECT!!!!! COLE And as we heard Michael Buffer say, Thunderkid and Reject looking for their first taste of tag team gold, and if they do that, that would really look good along side their impressive solo careers. COACH I've said all along, Cole, this is going to be TK and Reject's night, and I'm not backing off that stance! New tag team champions, right here! Reject and TK enter then ring, and Reject poses on the buckles, drawing boos. TK goes over to the ropes and raises both arms in the air, getting a similar reaction. Both men then retreat to their corners, as Shine by Collective Soul plays, leading the tag team champions out to a loud ovation. COLE And listen to the reaction for Team Heyross! BUFFER Their opponents...at a combined weight of 485 pounds! Two of the masters of mat wrestling, they are finally on top of the mountain after nearly three long, hard-fought years. Ladies and gentlemen...introducing the OAOAST tag team champions of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRLD...CHARLIE MOSS and QUENTIN BENJAMIN...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! The champs roll inside and pose on the ropes with their belts, as the crowd looks on in approval. Reject attempts to go after Quentin Benjamin, but Benjamin whips his belt off and threatens him with it, as Reject backs off. COLE This match is going to be something special, Coach! The music dies down, and Team Heyross hands their belts to the referees, who raises them into the air, then calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COACH Here we go, Cole! Both teams converse, then TK and Moss step out. COLE And it's going to be Quentin Benjamin starting things off with Reject! Benjamin and Reject circle the ring, and tie up. Reject quickly goes behind, but Benjamin reverses, and takes Reject up in the air and down to the mat. Reject manages a nice escape and reversal into a hammerlock, but Benjamin rolls away before he can get it locked in all the way. COLE Some nice mat wrestling to start, with neither man gaining the upper hand as of yet! Benjamin and Reject move in once again, and Reject sends a kick to the gut, then grabs a side headlock. Benjamin backs Reject into the ropes, then shoves him across. He drops down, then gets up and leapfrogs Reject, before catching him with a hiptoss! Reject quickly gets to his feet, but gets caught in an armdrag! Benjamin then bars the arm, keeping Reject on the mat. COLE Nice sequence there by Quentin Benjamin, as he goes to work with the armbar! Reject starts to work up to his feet, at which point Benjamin brings him over to his corner and tags in Moss. COLE Champs make the first tag of the match, as it's now Charlie Moss in the ring! Moss sends a kick to the gut, then rams Reject's head into the buckles. He then delivers a European uppercut, and attempts an Irish whip. Reject reverses, then follows him in and executes a monkey flip, hanging on and ending up in a kneeling position on Moss's chest... 1... 2... Moss reaches up with his legs, and rolls Reject up! 1... 2... Reject rolls backward to escape, then grabs the legs of Moss, who hooks Reject around the head with his ankles, and takes him down, sitting on his chest... 1... 2... Kickout! Reject gets to his feet, and catches Moss with a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! COACH DAY-UM~! Moss backs into a corner, shielding his chest, and Reject follows. Reject attempts a hiptoss, but Moss blocks, then tries one of his own. Reject blocks in kind, but Moss does a somersault on the mat, taking Reject down by the leg, and applying a heel hook! COLE And a quick submission hold by Charlie Moss... Reject quickly scoots to the ropes, and the referee forces the break. COACH Nah, way too early for that! Reject gets to his feet, and tags in TK. COLE And now the power man in, Thunderkid, two-time Heartland champion! Moss and TK tie up, and TK quickly gains an advantage with right hands. He backs Moss in, and attempts an Irish whip, but Moss blocks, and pulls TK in for a knee to the midsection. Moss then goes behind TK, and flips over onto his back, taking him down with a sunset flip... 1... 2... Kickout! TK lays in a forearm shot, but Moss quickly drives another knee into the gut, then attempts a suplex. TK blocks, then attempts one of his own, but Moss slips behind the back, and executes a German suplex! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Nice suplex right there by Charlie Moss, nearly got an early fall with that one! Moss grabs a side headlock as TK gets to his feet. TK backs Moss into the ropes, and shoves him across. TK drops down...and Reject lays a knee into the back of Moss from the apron! COLE And there's a cheap shot from Reject from the outside! Reject then tags in, and both men stomp away on Moss, as the referee lays the count on. TK steps out, and Reject hammers Moss as he lays on the mat. He then makes his way over to Benjamin, taunting him, drawing him into the ring. This allows TK to hook Moss in a front facelock across the top rope! COLE And now as the referee distracted, Moss is being choked out here! COACH See, Cole? What did I tell you? Which of these teams is wrestling like champions right now? COLE I have to say, this is very uncharacteristic of Team Heyross to fall for tactics like this! Reject drags Moss into a corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! He then attempts an Irish whip, but Moss reverses. Reject hops to the middle rope, then jumps back at Moss with a bodypress...which Moss rolls through! 1... 2... Kickout! Reject quickly gets up, and goes to the eyes of Moss. Reject then executes a gutwrench suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Reject follows up with a backbreaker, then tags in TK. TK and Reject whip Moss into the ropes, and catch him with a double clothesline! They follow up by grabbing one each of Moss's legs, and snapping them with a wishbone! COLE Some more great teamwork from the challengers in this match, as you start to wonder how much longer Charlie Moss can hang in there! TK stomps away on Moss, then flexes his muscles to the crowd, which responds with boos. He picks up Moss and whips him into the ropes, putting his head down, as Moss hops over with a sunset flip! 1... 2... Kickout! TK quickly gets up and floors Moss with a clothesline, then tags Reject back in. Reject grabs Moss's legs, and delivers a stomp to the midsection, then stands on his right foot while grabbing his left, and falls back with a one-man wishbone! COLE And now Reject starting to work over a body part! Reject grabs the leg again, and jumps onto it, turning in mid-air so that his back is to Moss when he lands, then bends the leg up at the knee joint. COACH Look at how that leg is bent, Cole, that can't be good! Moss grabs Reject by the hair, but the referee makes him release. Reject reaches up and tags in TK, who runs to the opposite side and knocks Benjamin off the apron, then immediately tags Reject back. COACH Uh oh, they're cookin' now, Cole! TK lifts Moss in a hangman's hold, as Reject measures, and delivers a kick to the midsection! Reject then scales the ropes, giving a throat-slash as he gets one foot on the top, then climbs up, and delivers the BIG ELBOW~!!!!!11111 COACH Here it is! 1... 2... NO! Benjamin makes the save! COLE And if it wasn't for Quentin Benjamin right there, we would have new tag team champions! COACH Exactly right! Get him out, ref! Reject sets up a suplex, which Moss reverses to a small package...but there's no referee! COLE And now look at this! COACH HA! His own partner's screwing him over! That's what I call karma! TK climbs in and rolls Reject on top, just as the referee turns around. The referee makes his way over to TK, allowing Benjamin to climb in and turn it to its original position, as the referee counts... 1... 2... TK saves! TK celebrates his feat, as Benjamin jumps in and dropkicks him from behind, sending him over the top to the floor! Meanwhile, Moss ducks a big right from Reject, and executes an inverted atomic drop! COACH Now, Charlie Moss needs to tag right here! Moss backs Reject into the ropes for an Irish whip, but Reject reverses. He drops down, and Moss is tripped by TK from the outside! TK then slides in and hooks Moss, as Reject runs to the ropes, and goes for a spinning wheel kick! ..but Moss moves, and TK takes the shot! COLE NOW tag, Charlie! Moss inches to his corner, but at the last second, Reject pulls him back and drops an elbow to the back! Reject then picks him up, and whips him into a corner, and charges...but Moss gets the foot up! Moss then charges Reject from behind, and executes a bulldog...simultaneously dropkicking TK to the floor! COLE WHAT A MOVE by Charlie Moss! Moss scoots over to his corner, and MAKES THE TAG! COLE And FINALLY, Quentin Benjamin back inside! Benjamin enters the ring, fists clenched, as the crowd goes nuts! He hammers away on Reject, then whips him into the ropes, and catches him with a spinning wheel kick! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Benjamin picks Reject up, and executes an overhead belly-to-belly! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Next up, a Northern Lights suplex! 1... 2... NO! Kickout! Benjamin picks up Reject once again, whipping him across the ropes, and catching him with a HURRICANRANA~! Benjamin reaches back and hooks the leg... 1... 2... NO!!! TK makes the save! Moss jumps back in and catches TK with a forearm shot to the face, then, as Benjamin waits, he backs into the ropes, and they execute the DOUBLE GOOZLE~! COACH Oh, no! Cover... 1... 2... NO!!! Reject gets the shoulder up! TK grabs Benjamin from behind, and drags him into a corner. Moss nails TK from behind, and Benjamin turns him around in the corner, as Moss sets up Reject, and whip the two into each other! Moss then grabs Reject once again, and whips him into a corner, then as Reject staggers out, lifts him onto his shoulders! COACH NO! Where you at, TK? TK slowly makes his way over to the timekeeper's table and grabs a chair, as Benjamin scales the top rope. TK reaches up and grabs Benjamin by an arm, pulling him right down to the floor! COLE Oh wow, Benjamin straight to the concrete floor! TK then slides in, as Moss still has Reject on his shoulders, and delivers a chairshot right to the left knee of Moss! Moss crumples to the mat with Reject as the referee calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COLE And TK with a chairshot right to the knee of Charlie Moss, as the referee has thrown this one out! What a terrible way to end this outstanding match! Moss writhes in pain on the mat, as TK grabs the chair, and rams it into the knee of Moss! COLE Is this how it's gonna be? You couldn't beat these guys, so now you'll settle for maiming them? COACH Obviously you're forgetting what stable these guys are repping, Cole. BUFFER The winners of the match as a result of a disqualification...and STILL OAOAST World tag team champions...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! COLE Team Heyross keeps the titles, but that's of little consolation right now, as TK out to terminate the career of Charlie Moss! Reject tosses Benjamin back into the ring, as TK drags Moss out to the ringpost. TK then grabs the chair, and slams it into the knee of Moss! COLE This is a disgusting display by these two Deadly Alliance members! Officials make their way to the ring, as TK slides back in, and waits on Reject, who lifts Benjamin in a suplex, letting him fall back onto TK's shoulders. TK then sits out with a powerbomb, as Reject executes a neckbreaker! COACH Look at that move! The Wall plays, as TK and Reject grab Team Heyross's belts and celebrate over their prone bodies. COLE And to clarify, those belts still belong to Team Heyross, the winners of the match by a disqualification! COACH Yeah, but TK and Reject got their message across tonight! Those belts won't belong to Team Heyross for long! COLE Let's just get out of here. Let's go to Josh, or something. SCHOOL'S OUT HeldDOWN's IN SESSION OAOAST HeldDOWN only on TSM

Authentic dialog right here, Sasha's Swag>>>>>>Your Teams SG "How do you play 110%?" "I take 10% from the other guy" legitimate discourse right here, his hairband>headband

nice little show as usual. Interesting developments and whatnot, and I think that may be the first time in years the AAB's have made it through a match without jobbing!

The Wall by Kansas plays, as the lights go out. The entryway is lit up by yellow strobes, then yellow smoke fills it up, with Thunderkid and Reject walking through. COLE Deadly Alliance members set for tag team action here on HeldDOWN~! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Making their way to the ring, at a combined weight of 485 pounds...representing the Deadly Alliance...the team of THUNDERKID and RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJECT!!!!! COLE And Thunderkid and Reject will challenge for the World tag team titles this Sunday at School's Out, as they face Team Heyross! Reject enters the ring and poses on the ropes, to boos, as TK slowly enters the ring and prepares to warm up for the match, as It's Raining Men hits, and Los Diablos come out as pink and yellow strobes flash throughout the arena. COLE And this will be a great test for them right here! BUFFER Their opponents...hailing from Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, at a combined weight of 340 pounds...MORACCA and MARIACHI, LOS DIABLOS DE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUEGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Los Diablos dance their way down the aisle, then roll into the ring and continue their dance. Moracca hands off his sombrero, then the referee calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COACH Stop kidding yourself, Cole. TK and Reject ae going to roll through these two right into School's Out, and they ARE going to be the next tag team champions! I've said it all along! Mariachi starts off with Reject, as the two circle the ring. Mariachi goes in for a tieup, but Reject delivers a knee to the gut, and hammers him to the mat. COLE And right away, Reject taking advantage of the size, just overpowering Mariachi right there! Reject stomps away on Mariachi, then drapes him over the ropes and chokes away, breaking at the referee's four-count. He then whips Mariachi across, but Mariachi ducks a clothesline, then turns around and delivers a foot to the gut, then grabs him by the hair and slams his face into the mat! COLE And a nice move there by Mariachi! TK jumps into the ring, but is intercepted by Moracca with a jumping headbutt! Los Diablos then set up TK and Reject, whipping them into one another! TK and Reject regroup on the outside, as the Diablos dance seductively in the ring. COLE And a nice sequence by Los Diablos, TK and Reject out to regroup! Reject rolls back inside, and tags in TK, who moves towards Moracca and kicks him in the gut, then lifts him for a PRESS SLAM~! COACH Like a child, Cole! However, Moracca slips behind the back, and attempts a reverse sunset! TK blocks with the ropes, as Mariachi comes in and runs at Moracca, who propels him over his own head and on top of TK! COLE But Los Diablos too quick right now for TK and Reject! Reject comes in and is hit with a dropkick from Moracca! Los Diablos once again whip TK and Reject into one another, this time getting down on all fours, as TK and Reject back up and trip over them! Los Diablos join hands and floor TK with a double clothesline, then do the same to Reject! COLE And if TK and Reject come out like this on Sunday, that match will be over in a hurry! COACH Yeah, but come on, Cole. This is just like the Spurs and Lakers...Los Diablos are looking hot right now, but sooner or later that championship mettle is going to prevail. TK and Reject regroup on the outside, then TK slides back in, but is caught in a side headlock from Mariachi. TK shoves him off, then puts his head down, but Mariachi gives him a kick to the face. Mariachi then whips TK across, but TK hooks the ropes and slides to the outside. TK points to his head as the crowd boos, then Moracca taps him on the shoulder, and TK turns around to be met with a thumb to each eye! However, in the ring, Reject sneaks in and floors Mariachi with a spinkick! COACH Now we're talkin', Reject! TK shakes off the cobwebs, then rolls back inside and tags Reject. TK then picks up Mariachi, draping him across the ropes, then picking up his legs, as Reject comes off the top with a double axhandle! COLE Big double axhandle from Reject! Reject then backs Mariachi in the corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And a third! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Reject then tags TK back in, and the two grab Mariachi by each arm, pulling him out of the corner, and ramming him right back in. TK steps over Mariachi, who is on all fours, and jumps onto his back. TK then picks up Mariachi, and delivers a backbreaker! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! TK backs Mariachi into the corner, and fires off European uppercuts, then tags Reject, and lifts Mariachi in a hangman's hold. COACH Oh yes, my favorite move! COLE Reject measures Mariachi, and delivers a kick to the midsection! Reject poses for the crowd, to boos, then covers... 1... 2... Shoulder up! COLE Mariachi, to his credit, still fighting! Reject whips Mariachi into the ropes, and puts his head down, and Mariachi delivers a kick! COLE Now Mariachi with a chance to tag! However, Reject hooks the leg, then makes a tag to TK, who comes in and drops an elbow on the helpless Mariachi. TK then picks up Mariachi, and drops him throat-first across the ropes! He then whips him across the ring, and floors him with a big clothesline! TK tags Reject back in, and Reject places one foot on the chest of Mariachi... 1... 2... Mariachi grabs the leg of Reject and rolls him up! 1... 2... Kickout! Reject quickly gets to his feet and stomps away on Mariachi, then climbs to the top rope, and drills him with a MISSILE DROPKICK~! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! Reject makes a tag to TK, who whips Mariachi across, and charges...but Mariachi gets a foot up, then comes out with a bulldog! Mariachi then rolls over slowly, and makes the tag to Moracca! COLE And there's the tag! Moracca jumps in, and delivers a dropkick to TK, then another to Reject! He then delivers another to each man, before delivering a foot to the gut of Reject, and executing a FAME-ASSER~! Cover... 1... 2... TK breaks the count! COLE And TK there for the save! Mariachi comes in and dropkicks TK from behind, sending him over the top to the floor! Reject then floors him with a clothesline as he turns around! However, Moracca hammers Reject, and attempts an Irish whip, Reject reverses, and TK reaches up and trips Moracca! COLE And a cheap shot from the outside! Moracca, dazed, stumbles to his feet, just in time for Reject to catch him with the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 COACH Forget it, Cole! Cover... 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match...the team of THUNDERKID and RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJECT!!!!! COLE So a big win for Thunderkid and Reject heading into this Sunday, as they hope for another big win that will get them their first tag team championship! Folks, we'll see in Albany New York this weekend for School's Out! On an image of ThunderKid and Reject standing triumphantly atop the turnbuckles, performing the classic belt motion we dissolve into the show's credits and then... FADE OUT

THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD As Ultimate Victory plays the opening video rolls, highlighting the adrenaline-charged, mile per minute action OAOAST HeldDOWN has become famous far, while showcasing several of its primary superstars. And don't forget the American flag, a a testament to this country's ideals of freedom, justice and complaining about outrageous gas prices without ever taking any actions to do something about them. We settle on our announce team, attired in their typical outfits of orange polos and khaki pants. And to celebrate our return to the states, as well as our rampant xenophobia, the sofa central desk has been painted an American flag pattern COLE The OAOAST is back in America! COACH And thank the good lawd. Ol euro trash be some softer than doctor cotton ass niggas! Type of dudes to let the next man hump em in the rolls on the back of they neck talking about as long as it aint in your mouth it don't count. Those French Dudes probably got speedometers they neck to clock the miles they jawing niggas down on the regular. Ol' motor throat ass bastards, only mothafuckas on the earth who's tonsils are sponsored by Michelin. Ol parlez-vous francais chumps. COLE And we're off to another smashing start. So, folks, we're just a few days away from School's Out, our latest pay per view extravaganza and it promises to be hot, hot, hot. All your favorite OAOAST superstars are in the building tonight, and HeldDOWN is going to be an intense zone. See what I did there? COACH Ain't nobody trynna remember that terrible show. We're set for action again on HeldDOWN~!, as "Date With The Night" by the YeahYeahYeahs hits and the crowd respond with cries of "YEAH...YEAHYEAH!" (I'm sure I've used that line before, but whatever.) for the return of Jade Rodez! In the same pink tracksuit as always she walks out onto the stage, greeting the welcoming response with a little shyness but a smile nonetheless. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall! Introducing first, from Grand Rapids, Michigan... JJJAAAAAAAAADDEEEEEE... RRRROOOOOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZ!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Happy to be back, Jade waves to the crowd as she makes her way gracefully into the ring. COLE First time we've seen Jade on HeldDOWN~! in a while, in person at least. She's been busy in Los Angeles getting to know Krista a little better, but now with Krista in action it's time for the prodigal daughter to return. COACH Well, last time we saw her she was getting royally bitchslapped by Mackenzie DeCenzo. Let's see if she's learnt anything from mommy. Jade starts to warm up in her corner, as the sound of a whip cracking starts up "Wild Side" by Motley Crue. Suddenly the mood in the arena changes, firstly to one of anger directed at Jock Mulligan, then fear for Jade's well-being as he leads out his new squeeze, the mighty Malaysia Nerdly. Carrying her cat o' nine tails, Malaysia raps it across the palm of her hand, perhaps a preview of what's to come. BUFFER And, introducing her opponent. Being accompanied to the ring by "MR. DICK", JOCK MULLIGAN! She hails from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada... MMMMAAAAALLLAAAAYYYYYSSSIIIIIAAAAAAAA... NNEEEEERRRRRRDDLLLLLLYYYYYY!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Jade might just have picked the wrong week to come back. Few would envy having to face the ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns. Striding up the ring steps, Malaysia goes to step into the ring. But referee Charles Robinson won't allow her to, until the whip is out of her hands and in Jock's for 'safe keeping'. COLE Our first official look at Malaysia. And her man, Jock Mulligan, at ringside, ahead of his match with Jade's uncle Leon in 3 nights at School's Out. COACH I wonder if Mr. Dick will poke his head in dur... COLE Okay, okay, enough! *DINGDINGDING!* Whip or not whip, Jade knows she's in trouble. Malaysia smiles as she sees the fear in Jade's eyes behind the guard that she's putting up nervously waiting to lock-up. COLE I think Jade just now realising what she's gotten herself into. Malaysia takes a step forward and Jade quivers a little, before getting her nerve back and going for a lock-up. But Malaysia simply reaches out and grabs her by the wrist. With a wristlock, Malaysia swings Jade around and around like a ragdoll until she falls to her knees in pain. Picking her back up, Malaysia then drags Jade forward into a short arm shoulder tackle! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!" The back of Jade's head bounces off the mat violently and she tries to crawl for the ropes. Malaysia stops her by standing on her neck though. MR. DICK That's right baby, punish her! COACH Mr. Dick, standing proud right now! COLE Would you stop with that already? The mighty Nerdly sister eventually lets Jade up and takes her other to the ropes. Threading her through the middle, she pulls back on a chinlock with Jade all tied up in the ropes! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" Malaysia breaks on four, but enjoyed hearing Jade's tortured screams so much that she can't resist doing it again! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" Again she breaks before a DQ. Jade slumps to the mat and Malaysia makes a nonchalant cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Turning Jade over, Malaysia pins a knee in the back and pulls back on the hair! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" Malaysia proves she knows the rules of wrestling again. Breaking the hold, she looks at the strands of blonde hair around her fingers and licks her lips, before striking poor Jade in the chest with an open hand. COLE Look at that smile on Malaysia's face. That is sick. COACH Oh boy is it ever. Irish whip by Malaysia now... but she ducks her head and gets caught with a desperation DDT from Rodez!! The crowd cheer with renewed hope as she makes a quick cover... 1... 2. No! QUICK kickout! Still grimacing in pain, Jade gets back to her feet first and meets Malaysia with a forearm. A second. And a third. They have barely any effect on the powerful Malaysia though, so Jade is forced to come off the ropes. A running forearm still doesn't put the freak of Nerdly nature down. Hitting the ropes again, Jade takes off looking for a crossbody, but is caught with ease! Malaysia carries Jade in her arms, before delivering a big Fallaway Slam!! COACH Oh wow, she just shut her down. COLE What power from Malaysia. And a great wrestling move, she's come fully prepared for life in the OAOAST. COACH Unlike each of her other siblings so far. Malaysia slowly collects Jade and drags her torturously up by the hair, to the complaints of referee Robinson. With Jade on her knees, Malaysia clubs her in the back. Butterflying the arms, she then executes an effortless suplex and covers... 1... 2... NO! COLE Give Jade some credit though, she's not giving this one up without a fight. Malaysia pulls Jade back up again with a sick smile on her face, tugging on her hair again. The yelps of pain just seem to get Malaysia going and she SLAMS Jade face-first into the mat. By the hair, back up... and again face-first back down violently! Mr. Dick applauds on the outside as he and Malaysia exchange a seductive look from across the ring. COACH Hmm, maybe Malaysia might be rubbing off on Mr. Di... COLE CONTROL YOURSELF! With Jade down and checking her nose isn't busted open, Malaysia stands over her lower back, still looking at Jock. Reaching back, she hooks her arms underneath Jade's ankles. Malaysia then stands upright and leans forward, bending Jade up in an Inverted Boston Crab!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" *TAPTAPTAP!* *DINGDINGDING!* Jade doesn't last long in the hold, tapping out after mere seconds as her spine threatens to snap in half! Malaysia refuses to break the hold however and drops to one knee to even further apply pressure! COLE Come on, the match is over, break the hold already! With no break coming, the referee calls for the bell again... but he needn't worry, as out rushes LEON RODEZ to come to Jade's aid! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Leon dives into the ring and shows none of his usual gentlemanly conduct as he pulls Malaysia off of his sister niece. Angrily, Malaysia whips around and goes to hit Leon, but he just about holds her at arms length... allowing MR. DICK to sneak into the ring and attack from behind! He nails Leon in the back of the head with his boot, then hooks up Leon in a full nelson and delivers PURE PENETRATION!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Ah, it was a set-up! And Leon just got planted. COACH He got drilled by Mr. Dick! Jock jumps to his feet and puts the boots to Leon some more despite the damage being done, while Malaysia's stalking keeps Charles Robinson away. Once he's done being a dick, Mr. Dick finally leaves Leon with a slap to the face and a warning of more to come at School's Out, before shoving Robinson on his ass (just to be a dick, natch) and leaving the Rodezes laying. COLE Mr. Dick has sent a message, just 3 nights from School's Out. But it'll be man to man, face to face on Sunday, so we'll see how he fares then, won't we. COACH I think we just saw proof positive... Mr. Dick is one dick that can't be beat! COLE You're horrible. But, later on tonight Jade's mother, Krista Isadora Duncan makes her well anticipated return to the OAOAST to face off against one of her favorite victims, Lucius Soul. COACH Jade opening for Krista is like Air Supply opening for The Rolling Stones. And watch Krista's gonna son Lucius' soul worse then hurricane Katrina, while Jade can't even get but three offense moves against Malaysia. And Krista's fighting a man! Jade's getting beat up by women, and Krista's been beating up men for years. Jade soul is burning slow! LATER ON TONIGHT THUNDERKID AND REJECT Vs LOS DIABLOS DE FUEGO LATER

A compilation of moments from the five year OAOAST tenure of Tha Puerto Rican plays, with an soft piano chorus in the background. From his debut in January '03, through the IntenseZone days, to the present. IntenseZone Elbows, Latin Slams, shots of PRL on the microphone. PRL with the 24/7 Title, the Puerto Rican Title, even the HI-YAH Tag Team Title. VOICEOVER He is... an OAOAST mainstay. Stephen Joseph Popick and Jesse "The Body" Ventura are still in their heated argument. The crowd cheers, hoping for Jesse to get into a physical altercation with Popick. But before Popick and Jesse "The Body" Ventura can come to blows, Tha Puerto Rican sneaks up behind Popick and leaps onto his shoulders. Popick tries to throw PRL off his shoulders, but to no avail. Finally, Tha Puerto Rican rolls forward into a victory roll! NO! Stephen Joseph Popick REVERSES the victory roll into one of his own, wrapping PRL, while grabbing a hold of his tights! Referee Jesse "The Body" Ventura counts. 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (24:55) CABOOSE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! COLE Stephen Joseph cheated to win again! Stephen Joseph has retained the OAOAST World Title! VOICEOVER After five years of effort... Maddix quickly knocks down Malibu and lifts PRL up, into the fireman's carry, turning him away from the ropes before delivering the GO 2 SLEE... *SMACK!* ...SCHOOL'S OUT!! COLE SCHOOL'S OUT! HE GOT HIM, RIGHT ON THE BUTT... ONE! COLE WAIT! TWO! COLE WAIT NO, ZACK! THREEEEEE!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE NO! Zack, having realised what was happening a second too late in his exhaustion, dogpiles on top of the fall just as the three comes down. VOICEOVER ...five years of guts and determination... Zack drills PRL with an ANGLESLAM which rocks the floor of the third cell!! But as he and PRL lay out in the cage, Popick has his hands on the roof of Cage 3 and is on his way to the belt! COLE Popick just sold PRL out! He sold him out to get the belt! ****** Back up, Cortez latches onto the wall of Cage 3 and makes a last, desperate attempt to climb up! But Popick is away now and out of reach. Popick pushes himself onto the roof of Cage 3, looking down 40 plus feet to the ring below, to Landon in Cage 1, to Bohemoth in Cage 2, to Zack Malibu and PRL below him, taking a last glance back at Cortez before steadying his jelly legs... COACH Just don't look down! ...AND GRABBING THE TITLE BELT DOWN FROM THE CEILING, DEFLATING THE CROWD!!! VOICEOVER ...finally, his time came. Tha Puerto Rican grabs his right elbow pad, removes it from his arm, and then throws it into the crowd. As the fans fight over the prized elbow pad, PRL does some weird hand signals that are still hard to describe five years later, and then runs backwards into the ropes, hits the ropes, bounces off of the ropes, charges forward, jumps over Stephen Joseph Popick, runs forward... COLE It is now time for the most electrifying move in professional wrestling, The Puerto Rico Elbow! PRL hits the ropes, bounces off of the ropes, charges forward, stops in his tracks, puts his right foot into the air, extends his right arm into the air... and then drops his right elbow into Stephen Joseph Popick's chest! The Puerto Rico Elbow! ****** COLE HE DID IT! HE FINALLY DID IT! THA PUERTO RICAN IS FINALLY WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! All 100,000 plus fans in the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum go nuts! Tha Puerto Rican bursts into tears! "Know Your Role 2000" starts playing. BUFFER Here is your winner... and NEW One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the Woooooorrrrllllllllllllllddddddddddddddddd... THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! COLE He has done it! After 10 long years, Tha Puerto Rican has become World Heavyweight Champion! Tha Puerto Rican's journey has culminated at OAOAST AngleMania VII! COACH OH GOD! THIS IS AWFUL! COLE Tha Puerto Rican has gone through hell and high water! But he has become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion for the first time in his career! VOICEOVER For all the blood... Thunderkid casually walks over to Tha Puerto Rican, who is starting to get up. PRL reaches out for something, anything, but instead, gets grabbed by Thunderkid. Thunderkid gets on his knees, grabs PRL by his hair, and then tries stabbing PRL with that spike! COLE What the hell? What the hell? Is he crazy? Is he doing what I think he is doing? COACH He is destroying PRL! COLE He's going to kill him! PRL fights back the 'spike'. He tries with all of his might to stop the 'spike' from entering his body, but can't. THUNDERKID STARTS CARVING THA PUERTO RICAN’S FOREHEAD WITH THE 'SPIKE'!!! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH This is sick! VOICEOVER ...and all the sacrifice... PRL almost falls, but his fingers are still just about laced around the steel mesh. Until Bohemoth carefully turns side on, reaching out... ...PUSHING PRL... *THUD!!* "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" ...AND HE FALLS FROM HALFWAY UP THE CELL, COMPLETELY TAKING OUT THE CORNER SECTION OF THE BARRICADE ON HIS WAY DOWN!!!!!!! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" The announcers are silent. A solitary airhorn goes off in the background. PRL lays on the thick, curved corner section of the barricade. Blood is still flowing down his face. His arms and legs are splayed out and security guards have converged around him to keep the fans at bay. VOICEOVER ...the reward was all the sweeter Earl Hebner has also left the ring. This leaves PRL all alone in the ring with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his left hand. The camera does a wide pan of the thousands in attendance standing up and cheering Tha Puerto Rican on as "Know Your Role 2000" continues playing. PRL manages to crack a smile amidst all of his tears. He gives the fans The People's Eyebrow, and then raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head to a LOUD pop from the crowd! Tha Puerto Rican lets out a primal scream, tears of joy flowing down his face. **THA PUERTO RICAN: LIVE THE DREAM** As the video fades out, we find ourselves on a close-up on none other than LANDON MADDIX. The camera pans out to reveal the rest of Cucaracha Internacional behind him, including Todd Cortez, standing off to the side of the rest. Landon chuckles to himself as Cortez looks on wearily. MADDIX Oh boy. What a pile of crap, huh? Tha Puerto Rican, living proof that if at first you don't succeed, try try again... and again... and again... then, eventually after five years, you might finally achieve what you started five years earlier. Derisive laughter from Black and Blonde behind Landon pauses him for a second. MADDIX Fact is, it took me less than year to become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. Doesn't make for quite the same emotional story to cut an inspirational video for. But, it does prove that I'm twice the man... or, maybe that should be FIVE times the man that Tha Puerto Rican is. Did I get a video package after I beat Zack Malibu? No. Did I get the accolades and ass kissing that PRL's gotten since AngleMania? No again. Does any of that matter? Not one bit. You see, what I did was I got on with the task at hand. Being OAOAST Champion. I didn't sit at home while announcers put me over and videos played chronicling my career. I got in the ring and, shock horror, I actually competed. Where's PRL the competitor, huh? You guys seen him around? BLONDE Not since you pinned him last week! Cortez scowls at that, scowling at Blonde as he smirks his way. MADDIX Exactly. The fact is, after five years I'm sure you're planning to be in this for the long haul PR. Maybe that's why you haven't defended your title once since winning it? Maybe that's why you spent the European tour sitting on your ass in San Juan while the rest of us put the work in? I don't know, that's merely speculation. All I know is, this five year journey is going to become the biggest anti-climax in OAOAST history when you lose the World Title in your first defence at School's Out! Your proud two month reign of doing absolutely NOTHING is how you're going to be remembered when you're gone, alongside the images of me knocking you senseless with the Go To Sleep again and me standing over your motionless body with the OAOAST World Title held high. Landon turns around to his crew. MADDIX You see, we all have dreams. Every human being in the world has their dreams. The dirty fact of life is though, only a few of us are good enough to live those dreams. It's sad that few will fulfill those dreams. What's sadder still, are those who can't accept that fact. Clearly Landon is directing this little life lesson towards Cortez more-so than the other Cucaracha Internacional members, causing him to straighten up a little. MADDIX This Sunday night, I will become a four-time World Champion. I can either do it the easy way... or, it can be done the hard way. The result will be the same. The repercussions, however, will not. Turning back to the camera, Landon's mood brightens. MADDIX That said, PRL, enjoy your last days as World Champion. I just hope it was worth the wait. Because at School's Out, you're the People's Dunce and I'm the Cucarach-A+ student! (begins to walk off) Puns are AWESOME! Following after their leader go Black, Blonde and Faqu. But before Cortez can, albeit belatedly, join them he's stopped at arm's length by Megan Skye. MEGAN You understand what he was saying, right? CORTEZ As much as any one human could I suppose. MEGAN Look, if you help Landon out Sunday, things are going to be a lot easier for you. He'll be so happy to be World Champ again, it'll be like these past few months never happened. And if you do make the mistake of taking the World Title, Landon'll make you live to regret it. That's not a threat Todd, we both know what he's like. Just... just fall in line already, okay? Cortez smiles to himself. CORTEZ I appreciate the concern. But we're way past that point now Megan. MEGAN Please? Not even for me? Megan gives Todd the old puppy eyes treatment, to which The Urban Legend isn't entirely won over by. CORTEZ What did I ever see in a scheming bitch like you? MEGAN (plumps breasts) These? CORTEZ Yeah... nice try, but if I'm responsible for anybody winning that title on Sunday, it'll be me. Brushing past Megan, Cortez strides off, leaving his former love interest to rue failing to get Cortez onside after all. COMMERCIAL COMING UP NEXT LOS DIABLOS VS THUNDERKID AND REJECT NEXT

Easy Lover plays over the sound system, as the arena lights all morph into a sensual, calming purple. However the audience is anything but calm, as they offer boos and thumbs down for the men arriving onto the stage. Rico De Janeiro is first out, his hairy chest covered in Mardi Gras beads, and his physique clothed by a Hawaii print shirt and Bermuda length shorts. Strutting out with pure swagger is Lucius Soul. Instead of boasting a comb pick, Soul holds a slip of paper into the air, smiling a toothsome smile like he's just won the lottery. COLE Lucius Soul very proud of his welfare check! I was talking to him earlier today and he noted how excited he was to take it down to the liquor store and get “fucked up on some fenda juice and pork rinds.” COACH (shaking his head) We ain't never gonna make it. BUFFER The following match is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of sixty minutes. Now making his way to ring, accompanied by Rico De Janiero, he is LUCIUS SOUL! COLE Lucius Soul set to take on the returning Miss California, Krista Isadora Duncan. And its a match that Soul specifically requested. He and Rico blame Krista for being the reason the Wrecking Crew's career has been down in the dumps for the past several months. But with three losses against the walk of famer already, one more defeat and forget the dumps Krista'll have them tossed into a trash incinerator. But Krista could be fighting a dead donkey right now, all the fans care about is that she's back in the OAOAST ring! On the outside, Rico tries and fail to trade beads for boobs, but comes up woefully short. He blames it on his poor selection of beads, but I'm pretty sure its just because he's ugly and stinks like the dumpster behind bronx bodega. Elsewhere, Lucius Soul stores his prized welfare check beneath the turnbuckles for safe keeping. When the red light comes on I TRANSFORM. Look in my eyes covered in Maybeline Looking like something fresh out of a magazine I can be part of your deepest fantasies You’re the detective Come solve my mystery The floor of the entrance stage is captured by a playful illumination as its tiles flash wildly alternating colors of red, green, yellow, blue, and white. Above these frenzied color flashes lie a bevy of gorgeous dancers. They capture the audience's lust and passions, with white gogo boots decorated by red flowers, orange, blue and yellow, tie die micro dresses, and matching head bands. Their dances are like Hippy commune revelry mixed with modern day hip-hop, flowing arm movements interrupted by controlled bursts of leg jumps, followed by hands running across their shapely bodies. But any attention that falls on those many dancers is stripped away by the arrival of the supreme beauty, Krista Isadora Duncan! Miss California strikes an alluring pose beneath the swirl of red and pink spotlights, throwing one hand into the air, while letting another glide down her inner thigh. A circling overhead camera captures the gorgeous woman, in pink heels that carry long legs up to ultra tight gold booty shorts, that showcase generous helpings of her perfectly toned BUTT. To complete the ensemble she wears a matching purple tube top with the Laker's logo etched across her voluptuous chest. Krista brushes past her army of dancers with utmost arrogance and begins a haughty stride towards the ramp. COACH Sweet and simple. Krista walks out like a superstar. Jade walks out like she's going to job. COLE Well, there's no question Jade isn't...quite...as...glamorous and as famous as her mother. That being one of the reasons we didn't see a huge grouping of photographers around her's or anyone else's match like we do here. But, Jade, well...Jade's a shy, reserved kind of girl. She's just not got the outgoing personality of her mother. There's nothing wrong with that, per se. BUFFER And the opponent From Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, a fitness queen, a recent inductee into The Hollywood Walk of Fame, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, the star of the VH1 reality show the look of love, the Angle Award winning female personality of the year, The other half of the Angle Award winning tag team of the year, she is Miss California Krista Isaodra Duncan! Maybe I’m just a (bad girl) Maybe I’m just a (bad girl) Maybe I’m just a (bad girl) Maybe I’m just a (bad girl, a bad girl) I can be your addiction if you wanna Get hooked on me I, I can be your addiction if you wanna Get hooked on me The entrance ramp's dull flooring is now blanketed in the most beautiful array of pink and red glitter that sparkles wonderfully against the matching lighting scheme. Similar to the recently passed LA fashion week, fashion photographers and journalists, all outfitted in the same black dress shirts and slacks, work tirelessly to capture the image of Krista strutting along this majestic décor with the grace and style of a supermodel. As wind machines playfully blow her flowing blond locks in front her entrancing face, the photographers trail her path creating a whimsical light show with the roving pink and purple spotlights. Once she reaches the end of the ramp, her hands fall to her slender hips, and her face tilts backwards, bathing in the wind machine's touch while she beams and arresting smirk into the camera. All around is the monstrous roar of cheers, spewed from every member of the audience. Surrounding the ring are an incredible amount of photojournalists from various news agencies, all present to capture the celeb babe in action. COLE Much like Kobe is looking to bigger and better things and not focusing on the weak, tired Spurs, so is Krista focusing on bigger and better things. Namely that brunette in the first row, who's currently flashing her. Eat your heart out, Rico, if your work visa will allow you! Krista's propensity for showboating, motivates her perfect pins to twist themselves around the third rope. She tilts herself backwards and her streams downwards like mini beams of sunlight. Though there are enormous cheers all around Krista can't help but be a little contrary, and offers the nearest camera the gift of a middle finger. COLE And, as Krista steps into the ring, I just want to remind you that School's Out is this weekend on pay per view and on OAOAST.com! What better way to kick off your summer then with the OAOAST? Soul's gator skin boots circle him around the ring, as his onyx eyes send flashes of hatred flaring towards Krista. But the fitness queen's registers Soul as posing little danger, and she remains in her supermodel stance with her stunning smile. “Lucius Soul, you're like Tyler Perry, everyone knows you're on TV, but no one knows what the hell for.” LUCIUS SOUL: THE HORROR BEGINS Soul's lanky body twirls in rapid motion, and his leg swings out into a spinkick. However, Krissy pulls her head beneath his foot's wild trajectory and swings behind him. As his gaudy shoe comes back down onto the canvas, Krista is already coiling her arms around his neck. Her glorious golden locks shroud his vision, and he has no idea the anguish awaiting him until his body crashes into the canvas from the Blonds Never Pay a Cover(Side Effect)! His screams are plentiful and loud, but are simple peeps when compared to chants of, “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Flat on his back and howling shrill shouts of agony, Soul at least takes comfort in the fact that the early stages of the match can't get any worse. He's shown the inaccuracy of such thinking when Krista elevates his scrawny legs and spreads them apart. Horror scribbles itself across his face, as the fans begin popping for the pain to come. “Now put your right foot in. Your right foot out. Right foot in. Then you stomp Lucius in the balls!” “OWWWWWW DAAAAAAMN!” “That's what it all about!” “YEAAAAAAAA!” Having seen this comedy play out one too many times, Rico moves quickly to the apron to subvert Krista's antics. KRISTA RICO Noo..noo...now what? Now what? What is this? KRISTA I'm sorry..its just I'm at a really rough emotional point in my life. Here I stand alone in the night, with nothing in my life and no one to love me. RICO Yeah, go on Oprah, chica, come on, what is this? KRISTA (speaking in a musical voice) I'm trying to be somebody, but nobody listens, nobody listens, I thought I'd be the control my love, but when the feelings gone. And you can't go on it's..Tragedy... RICO No. No. Not diiiss. Not diiis again! Rico is joke in country now. They have word for people like me in Brazil, it is faggot! KRISTA (singing softly) When the morning cries, and you don't know why , it's RICO No! Rico doesn't even listen to music anymore 'cause of you. I gotta work out to the road hazard reports on AM radio and science Friday on NPR! Not swayed by Rico's protests, Krista's voice grows more musical and she olds her head gently against the ring ropes, and of course the photojournalists have to immortalize this stunt on their cameras. KRISTA Tragedy. When you lose control And you got no soul , it's.....it's....it's....it's.... RICO (singing) Tragedy! Night and day. There's a burnin' down inside of me Burnin' love with a yearning that won't let me be down I go and I just can't take it all alone I really should be holding you holding yoooooou ,loving you.....Loving yooooouuuuu Krista and Rico begin a disco flavored interpretive dance mixing movements that match the words with sharp spins, sexy hip gyrations and frantic head swivels. KRISTA AND RICO (singing) Tragedy!!! When the feelings gone and you can't go on it's Tragedy!! When the morning cries and you don't know why , it's hard to bear with no-one to love you you're going nooooowhere COACH Should I note that Jade doesn't even get fireworks for her entrance, much less for a song and dance routine mid match? Krista and Rico incorporate more quick leg shuffles into their dance, as their clapping hands invite the audience to join along with the beat of their song. KRISTA AND RICO (singing) Tragedy!!! When you lose control And you got no soul , it's tragedy!! When the morning cries And you don't know why , it's hard to bear with no-one beside you Your goin' nooooowhere. KRISTA AND RICO (singing) Tragedy!! When you lose control and you got no soul , it's tragedy...When the morning cries and your heart just dies Hard to bear. With no-one beside you your goin' nowhere KRISTA AND RICO (singing) AUDIENCE SUPERKICK BY KRISTA! Rico is rocketed off the apron to endure a terrible landing on the apron and a round of taunts from the capacity crowd. COACH Maurice Gibb never superkicked Barry! The benefit to Rico's latest humiliation is that it has given Soul enough of a chance to regain his strength and return to his feet. But there, a super kick screams towards his face. “Sweet” catches her flower power pump mere inches away from his face. He then twirls her around, thinking he'll be able to flatten her with a basic lariat. However, Krista's other leg swings around and catches him flush in the jaw, sending the OAOAST's resident pimp tumbling to the canvas. However, Krista has no inclination to follow up on her harsh strike, and instead takes graceful bows to the numerous photojournalists on the outside. With the blinding flashes and the noise of the cheering fans piling onto his headache, a dejected Lucius crawls to the corner for a quick reprieve. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” The reprieve the pimp daddy seeks seems incapable of never materializing with Krista attaching her heels onto turnbuckles. Rightfully fearing for his health, Soul slams his eyes shut and shields his face with his forearms. Sadly this prevents him from beholding the wonderful image of Krista performing a boobie shimmy. Operating in unified seduction, her torso and shoulders swing side to side, letting her bouncing breasts wash a tidal wave of pleasure over the audience, all in the hopes of attracting a girl in the front row who looks like Annie Lennox. You take what you can get in Hartford. COACH Dayum that's hot, but Jade would have to shove danny devito down her shirt to be able to do that! Her milkshakes CHASE all the boys from the yard! Once the blond beauty acquires her desired phone number, she flings herself backward, preparing to split Soul's afro in two with a leg drop. Yet, Soul counters this attack by slamming his flashy shoes into her midsection. Though Krista has a super ripped stomach, the shot was delivered with enough damage to dump her onto the canvas, and cripple her with misery. But, she shows admirable fighting spirit by quickly scampering upright. Unfortunately just as quickly as she stood up is she thrown back down, courtesy of a graceful high flipping dropkick. Soul is quick to take advantage of this rare moment of offense, and scurries on top of the walk of famer for a pinfall... ONE! Krista shoots her shoulder off the mat, earning a large cheer from the audience. Unsurprisingly, Soul is disgusted with only getting a one count, and hooks both of Krista's tanned legs in another pin.. ONE! TWO! Again Krista's shoulders come off the mat, and with them comes another mighty roar from the audience. “Boy, you's a shit sink!” Soul shouts in complaint to Robinson. “The back of my pimp hand gonna deal wit you after this match.” Right now Soul's pimpin' hands deal with Krista, weaving themselves across the fabric of her barely there top and guiding her off the canvas. He drapes her across his scrawny shoulders in a standing fireman's carry, bringing forth a flood of jeers from the fans who know what move is forthcoming. COLE Fro 2 Sleep coming up! And will Lucius Soul be able to be first person in four years to pin Krista? With all his might Lucius heaves Krista off his shoulders and into the sky. His knee is raised in preparation of mangling her fetching face, but its his own ugly mug that's mangled by Krista's dropkicking high heels! Knocked senseless by the sudden counter, Soul is tossed back to the mat, where a huge pouring of cheers falls around him. Despite pain in his head, Soul scrambles to his feet. Unfortunately no sooner then a second after he rises does the celebrity babe trap him into a half nelson. With incredible furor he struggles to fight free, but his efforts barely register on Krista's radar as she's too busy striking a Revlon ad worthy facial pose for the throng of photo journalists. But right as Soul seems to be making progress in his escape efforts, the Los Angelina swings her body forward and scrambles his face across the mat with her half nelson facecrusher. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Soul's hands immediately spring to his face to shield against further beatings. But that's a defense easily annihilated by Krista who peels his fingers away from his face and yanks him off the canvas. She tries to throw him into the ropes, but he somehow manages to reverse the hold and send her hurtling across the ring. As her feet inch nearer and nearer to the cables, De Janeiro returns to the apron, his fist cocked and face twisted into a despicable sneer. But when his hairy arm slices towards Krista, she flashes her foot upwards to swat it away. Rico recoils and screams and agony, but can take some comfort in seeing his partner leaping towards the fabulous beauty with a sidekick. But comfort turns to discomfort, when Krissy ducks down and Rico endures a face full of faux-gator skin! Down to the mats he tumbles, landing on his feet, but then staggering back into the guardrail. In addition to blurred vision and a throbbing migraine, he's assailed by numerous taunts from the front row audience. “Dag, pimpin, I made a mistake!” Soul apologizes. “Actually, honey, I think the real mistake here was when your father spotted your mother across a crowded crack house!” Krista comments. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Once again Krista has tipped Soul over the edge of his sanity, and once again he attempts to gain some vengeance in the form of physical pain. Though he throws all his energy into a spinning lariat, he's again avoided by the agile Californian. Soul is tossed off balance by his frustrating miss, and that leaves him open to an elbow smash from Krista. A second elbow scorches across his jaw, giving rise to cheers from the fans and clicks from the cameras of photographers. Then another elbow rips through his chocolate skin, staggering him on his feet and draining him of all energy. While most competitors might lay waste to a foe in as bad a condition as Soul, most competitors aren't a world famous celebrity who must look stunning at all hours of the day. Thus Krissy pulls a tube of lip gloss out her top... COACH That was lip gloss in her top? I thought she was just really cold. And decorates her lips a sparkling red, singing, “I Said My Lip Gloss Is Poppin', My Lip Gloss Is Cool All Da Girls Keep Jockin', They Chase Me After School” She chucks the lipgloss into the stands, where a fight for ownership ensues. But the blows the audience members trade are nothing compared to the throat thrust Soul surprises her with. The air is instantly hauled out her body, and choking and wheezing she stumbles back into the corner. Watching their beloved heroine struggle for breath causes the audience to spew buckets of venom at the young hoodlum. Soul is more then happy to taunt back, “You get mad n' u fuss cuz you don't shine like me! You get mad n' you fuss cuz you don't shine like me! You get mad n' u..” “LUCIUS SOUL, YOU MUSTA BEEN BORN OUT YA DADDY'S ASSHOLE, CAUSE YA MAMA'S PUSSY WAS STUFFED FULL!” an eighty five year old wheelchair bound man in the third row screams. Soul has no comeback for the thrilling details of his birth, so instead he further weakens his archival by hammering her with closed fist. Though Robinson tries interject himself in Lucius semi-legal assault, the New Orleans native refuses to relent in his pummeling. “LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!” Finally Robinson delivers his warning with enough forcefulness to ward Soul away from his victim. However, the damage is done and her tenuous grip on the ropes is the only thing keeping her from sinking to the canvas in mortal exhaustion. Soul realizes that Krista's end is at hand, and looks to bring it upon her as quickly as possible. He backs towards the center of the ring, eying her battered husk with a predatory glee. “Put two dollars in da air for a two dolla pimp!” Soul's nasal voice shouts, before he rushes across the ring with his knee raised for a vicious strike. But when he's just inches away from driving a hole through Krista's stomach, the superbabe rips her body from the corner. Soul's bony leg is left to crash with full force into the ring posts, and piercing screams pour from his both. With the crowd loudly cheering his miss, he hangs onto the rope for support and clutches a leg that feels as though its just been shot. However, his hatred of Krista is far greater then his pain ever will be, and with gritted teeth he limps at Krista with a lariat. Yet, the speedy sex kitten rolls beneath his slow moving strike, and brings herself to the corner posts. Quickly she scurries to the top, and the fans and photographers are alive with enormous excitement. She certainly doesn't disappoint her fans; her mesmerizing body performs a mesmerizing spin through the air. Its only Lucius who's not delighted by her stunt, as her corkscrew moonsault throws him back onto the canvas. His whole body is now racked with terrible agony, and he issues another full throated scream. “YEAAAAAAA!” COACH A beautiful corkscrew moonsault by Krista. Can Jade even do a body splash without getting a heat stroke? Yo, that's how bad Jade is compared to her mom. She getting injuries that ain't even related to what it is she doing. Ho goes to Rite Aid for some magic markers comes back with Aids and gout! For no other reason besides the fact that she's insanely hot, Krista decides to show off her traffic stopping bod. Her slender hips rock and gyrate in a slow rhythm, as she glides her fingers gently up and down her torso. Her roving hands reach across the flesh of her buttocks, and she gasps as her fingers gently squeeze into her firm BUTT. This spicy show thrills a group of female fans in the first row, who beg Krista to take advantage of California's legalization of same sex marriages with them. COACH Jade ain't ugly, but be for real, fam. Be for real! Her ass look like a mistake! Compared to Krista's it look like god didn't give two shits about her and put her together like playdough. Like she's the mister potato head of ass! Just slap it on with no rhyme or reason! Krissy runs to the ropes and when she bounces back her flawlessly smooth legs tighten around Soul's neck, and throw him over with a hurricanrana! Unfortunately, the force of the move brings Lucius back to his feet, where he stands right in front of Krista's smiling face. Too dazed to to strike away his annoying rival, he's victimized by a back handed pimp slap from the walk of famer. As the audience roots on his misery, Soul clutches his sore face and attempts to stumble away from Krissy. Unfortunately for him, the foxy mama traps him in place with a side headlock. Quickly, she attacks him with a nauseating twirl, then brings his head crashing into the canvas with The Life In The Fab Lane (Twist of Fate). “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” While the Hartford crowd loudly applauds her performance, Krista hooks Soul's outside leg for a pivotal pinfall.... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! But Soul pulls his shoulder off the canvas, instantly deflating the audience. With his hand nursing his sore neck, he slowly steps upright. He's immediately placed on the defense by a knife edge that Krista wings towards his chest. Although the strike slashes through his dark skin, he's able to take the pain in stride, and surprise by Krista by lifting her onto his shoulders for a standing fireman's carry. The fans spring to their feet, praying to heavens above that Krista will find the strength to avoid Soul's lethal finisher. Thankfully their prayers are heard and answered, and the beloved babe has little trouble in elbowing her way free of Soul's clutches. She comes down on her feet, but isn't out of the woods yet, thanks to Soul again brushing aside the pain to trap her in a 3/4th facelock. The former HI-YAH tag champion spins the GLAADiator around for a neckbreaker. But once more Krissy is one step ahead of him and strikes him with an infinite misery with the You Say Tomato, I say Fuck You (Swinging Reverse STO)! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” COLE The way the greatest of this era Kobe Bryant dropped 50 on the hapless Clippers in 06 is eerily reminiscent to how the greatest of this era Krista Isadora Duncan is dropping bombs on the hapless Lucius Soul. COACH The way a fat kid craps himself during little league soccer is eerily reminiscent of the way Krista's daughter Jade craps on our ratings with her boring ass performances. Rico returns to the ring apron, with the full intention of doing whatever it takes to prevent Krista from claiming another victory against his squadron. And this time he's enlisted a lead pipe into his despicable cause. “You ain't gonna mess wit da' crew no more, chica!” He bellows, brandishing his pipe like a sword. Down goes Rico, defeated by the mighty power of Michael Knight and his super advanced automobile! “Did you hire David Hasselfhoff to appear in this match?” Robinson wonders. “Why yes I did, honey. He's one of the most successful actors in the history of syndicated television. And after the show he'll do your caricature for a dollar. Or a ride to the soup kitchen and a warm couch to sleep on for the night.” During the course of this conversation, Soul had managed to step towards his feet. His hope is that he can sneak attack the bombshell, but with his entire head glittering from afro sheen he's hard not notice! Thus the GLAADiator hasn't much trouble in snaking her hands beneath his chin. The sold out audience explodes with cheers for the world famous Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one! (Reverse X-factor). And when Soul's body is plummeted to the canvas their cries of joy grow even louder. Smiling brightly and beautifully to the photographers, Krista reaches forward and hooks Soul's leg for a crucial fall.. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE!! A huge ovation rises from the stands, as the fans are tickled with joy to see their returning heroine pick up right where she left off. COLE And Krista Isadora continuing the winning ways she's held for so many years. Still not pinned, still never submitted, and Lucius Soul takes his fourth humiliating loss to the most famous person in the OAOAST. BUFFFER Your winner....KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN! As a mischievous look takes over her face Krista grabs Lucius' welfare check from the corner, and brings it back towards her fallen foe. “Hmmm...ten dollars and twenty five cents? Honey, how's it feel to get fucked twice? Once by me and once by the motherfuckin' man?” she asks as she rips the check to shreds above his now weeping eyes. COLE Lucius Soul, that'll teach you to depend on government handouts to subsidize your crack-cocaine filled low income lifestyle and your six children by five different women! COACH Now let's put this all into perspective, brah. Jade comes back and gets squashed by a woman. Krista comes back and squashes a MAN, entertains the crowd, and does it all without getting a single hair out of place? Jade's sorry act was cool back when she was who we thought she was, but if you're Krista's kid that shit don't fly. Goldie Hawn was a star, and you don't see Kate Hudson playin Lady Capulet in Shakespeare in the Park. You gotta live up to your parents. The OAOAST is Krista's hobby. What Krista does for a hobby, Jade can't even do for a living! How's she gonna do the important stuff in Krista's life?? COMMERICAL

Back we go to the relative calm of the OAOAST dressing rooms, where the living embodiment of nerd chic Melody Nerdly is sat alone in the mass Love Generation Air Express dressing room, pitting her wits against Dr. Kawashima and his Brain Training program on Nintendo DS (Proud sponsors of OAOAST School's Out 2008!). Her attempts to increase her brain power are hampered somewhat by Maggie Nerdly entering the room, forcing her to put the DS to one side for a moment. MAGGIE Hey. MELODY Oh hey Maggie. MAGGIE So, no Leon? MELODY No, he went off to talk to Jade about five minutes ago. But if you want, I can pass on an m s g to him when he gets back? MAGGIE Nah, that's cool 'sis. It's you I wanted to talk to actually. Taking a step forward, Maggie stands right over her big sister and daringly points a finger in her face, taking Miss Melody aback. MAGGIE You better back the hell off from Leon or I swear, I will fly back to Edmonton and I will take your mint condition Star Trek Enterprise model out of the packaging! Very uncarefully! Melody stutters as she tries to summon up a response to this crazy accusation. Once she gets over her initial surprise, she stands up angrily. MELODY Leon is my friend, okay? MAGGIE Lemme make this real crystal for ya, k? Stay. Away. From Leon. MELODY Look, I don't know who you've been listening to or what you're hearing, but you're way off. MAGGIE You bought the domain Leonrodez.com! MELODY Yeah, well, it was a cobweb. What the hell's gotten into you? You really think that I'm trying to steal him away from you? W slash e! I can't believe you're listening to these lamewads... yeah, I said it! Lamewads! You really believe people like Jock over your own sister? MAGGIE It's not just Jock though, is it? Even Jade reckoned you were getting all cosy with him recently. And I reckon she might just be right, because when Jock's being Mr. Dick, he sure ain't been slow in running to your rescue, has he!? MELODY Listen, don't go taking your little relationship problems out on me, okay? MAGGIE Suddenly Maggie lunges for Melody, who defensively does the same. The two sisters end up with full handfuls of each other's hair and no plans on letting go until it's pulled out from the roots. Shrill screams sound out from both, which apparently alerts the passing members of D*LUX, who spring in through the dressing room door and quickly try to pry them apart. Eventually they manage to do so, with each Nerdly sister coming away with strands of hair around the fingers to remember each other by. MAGGIE What the hell is your damn problem!? MELODY Remember the time I caught you with Timmy Johnson three days before your Sweet Sixteen party!? I came to pick you up at the school gates and we ended up having that massive fight in the playground where I totally would have kicked your ass if somebody hadn't called the cops to have me arrested? MAGGIE Just because you couldn't get laid in high-school, Little Miss Band Camp! Anyway, of course I remember, but why are you bringing that previously unmentioned incident up now? MELODY Because I want a rematch!! The two Nerdlys try to get at each other again, but Tyler and Shayne show herculean strength to keep them apart. MAGGIE Fine, we'll see how much you can flirt with my boyfriend with one eye and no front teeth! SHAYNE Say what now? MELODY Ten years older and ten years better, little sis. MAGGIE That's not what Timmy Johnson thought! MELODY AAAAAHHHHHHHH!! Again Maggie and Melody try and lunge at each other, but are again held back by Tyler and Shayne who are beginning to regret jumping in in the first place. Tyler manages to get Maggie out the door and quickly slam it shut on her (not before saying "sorry about this" to his best bud's girlfriend, of course) before the fight can restart. With Maggie gone, Melody sits sadly back down while Shayne and Tyler stand around awkwardly. SHAYNE So... seen Leon around? Melody gives Shayne a cold stare as we go back to the arena. COACH Yo, those chicks took an L for that one. Especially Melody. That girl is twenty eight years old, and she dumb as hell. Back there acting all innocent and stupid while Maggie tools on her. Melody, Maggie in yo face talking to you directly and you have NOTHING for her. The OAOAST see it, the world see it, viewers see it, and the baby sister OWNED you on sight, and is gonna own you again and again. And what those stoner bums, the Christ Air Express, on some Jesus turn the other cheek ignore that shit? Boys outta sock Leon right in his face and make him sit on that curb. COMMERCIAL

We return to live action with a patriotic image of the flag waving across the numerous video screens, and the entrance stage highlighted by brilliant array of blue, red, and white spotlights, like we're actually sitting atop the American flag. Yeah, uh! Get up, now! Ow! Knock out this! Super highways, coast to coast, easy to get anywhere On the transcontinental overload, just slide behind the wheel How does it feel With the OAOAST’s European tour now concluded, the ALL-AMERICAN BOYS are out of hiding and on their way to the squared circle proudly waving Old Glory. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave... THE ALL-AMERICAN BOYS!! “USA!” “USA!” “USA!” COLE We’re not just living in America, but we’re back LIVE once again in America. Hartford, Connecticut to be exact, and I couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate our return home than with two American patriots. COACH I’ll give you that, Cole. But maybe other than mom’s apple pie, there’s nothing more American than rock n’ roll. COLE Speaking of which… HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT! COLE …here’s a fearsome foursome always with a new complaint. COACH The greatest tag team champions this company has ever had. Synth and Logan aren’t much in the mood for jawing with fans this evening, but the same cannot be said for Abdullah. The Colonel more than willing to engage in a little smack talk. BUFFER And their opponents, led down the aisle by HOLLY-WOOD… COLONEL ABULLAH NERDLY presents the GREATEST rock 'n' wrestling band of AAAAALLLL-time… THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Upon entering the ring, the Heavenly Rockers are met by fists of fire and feet of fury as the All-American Boys launch a pre-emptive strike! COACH Something tells me I shouldn’t hold my breath waiting for a condemnation from you, Cole. COLE Well, these aren’t the rules the All-American Boys normally play by, but against an enemy that plays by none then, well… I guess you gotta do what you gotta do. COACH I sure hope you remember that next time one of your favorites is on the receiving end of things. “YEAH!” * DINGDINGDING * A pair of Irish whips and backdrops follow. Liberty whips Synth in again and takes him around the world with a TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! The All-American Boys switch out, legally, and Freedom looks to shoot the Synthmeister in a third time…but Synth reverses and Logan drives the knee into the small of Freedom’s back as he bounces off the ropes, sending the masked patriot stumbling into the arms of Synth and a SWINGING NECKBREAKER! COACH Stick that on the cover of TIME Magazine. COLE They may be sticking a fork in Freedom if he’s unable to make a tag. A tag is made, but it’s by the Heavenly Rockers. Logan plants a knee into the side of Freedom’s chest and then goes for the cover. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Mann rams Freedom into the buckle and chokes him out in the corner. Forced to back off he keeps the ref occupied as Holly lands a few cheap shots of her own. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” ABDULLAH : ) Logan signals he’s going to ram Freedom into the other buckle across the ring, but Freedom blocks it and the Macho MACHO Mann eats turnbuckle instead. “YEAH!” Both men tag out and their respective partners charge towards mid-ring to slug it out. The Synthmeister getting the worst of it as Liberty puts him on his heels. Irish whip, and a BAAAAAAAAAACK BODYDROP! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” The natives become restless as Liberty scales the turnbuckles. We soon know why as CPA, the Enterprise Director of Security, storms the ring and shoves Synth down to the mat. * DINGDINGDING * COLE The referee has called for the bell, but what the hell is CPA doing out here? Liberty dives off towards CPA…ONLY TO BE CAUGHT IN MIDAIR AND POWERSLAMMED! Then CPA drills Freedom with a BIG BOOT as we see THEODORE MONEYMAKER laughing alone at the top of the stage. The Heavenly Rockers and company seen running past the Billion Dollar Heir off to the side. COACH I bet this is what Teddy was referring to when he warned of the carnage that would result because of Anglesault’s actions. To think it’s only a taste of what’s to come. Anglesault, you’ve gone and f’d with the wrong dudes. * COMMERCIAL * SCHOOL'S OUT 2008 WORSHIP NOT THESE FALSE IDOLS HOUSE OF WORSHIP WITH SPECIAL GUEST ANGLESAULT BUT COMING UP NEXT FROM HOLLYWOOD TO HARTFORD KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS LUCIUS SOUL NEXT

...as "Getting Away With Murder" hits and out to the ring heads the one and only Zack Malibu, to a roaring reception from the Conneticut crowd! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome...ZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAACCKK... MMMMAAAAAAAALLLLLIIIIIIIBBUUUUUUUU!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE And the rumours have been flying, the challenge for the rubber match between Zack and Bohemoth has been laid out. Perhaps Zack is out here to make it all official. COACH Man, I hope so! Zack slaps some hands on the way to the ring, in a pretty good mood it would seem after his exploits last week. He also carries a little bit of a limp, no doubt from those same exploits. Entering the ring, Zack takes the microphone from Buffer and calls for some decorum. "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" ZACK Thank you. You know, I'm sore as all hell right now so you'll forgive me if I seem a little subdued tonight. Last week, in Belfast, Northern Ireland, myself and Bohemoth picked up where we left off at AngleMania VII and we tore the house down in a whole other continent. The crowd, seemingly in agreement, applaud. ZACK We tore the house down in Belfast and we tore the hell out of each other again. The only difference was... this time, it was MY hand raised in victory. "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" ZACK That's unfortunately not why I'm out here though. You see last week was intended to be the final chapter of this rivalry between me and big Bohemoth. We had unfinished business from AngleMania to take care of and I'm not talking about wins and losses or anything like that. That night, Bo was the better man. Simple as that. Last week, I was the better man. The business that was left unfinished was the business of showing respect to an opponent after the fight of your life. That's what this is supposedly all about. That's how it started. Respect. And TWICE now Bohemoth, you have disrespected me. At AngleMania, I accepted defeat like a man and extended my hand to you, only for you to turn on your heels and walk away. Last week in Belfast, I gave you the opportunity to make up for your mistake. And again, you turned and you bolted. You didn't accept you defeat like a man. COACH Zack questioning Bo's manhood? Them's strong words. ZACK So now, because of that, this issue between us rolls on and on. Bohemoth, this issue will not end until you show me the respect that I hold towards you... because I WILL NOT LET IT! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" ZACK Bohemoth, the scoreboard now reads "Bo- One, Zack- One". You better belie... *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* COLE UH-OH! Zack trails off as "Liberate" powers through the arena and predictably enough, the suited and booted Bohemoth marches to the ring! Not looking entirely surprised, Zack folds his arms as Bo jogs up the ring steps and hits the ring. The crowd can't agree on how to react to The Meterosexual Monster, smattering of boos here, smattering of cheers there. Either way, Bohemoth doesn't seem too bothered as he grabs his own microphone and squares up to Zack. BOHEMOTH I wondered how long it'd take you to start boasting about last wee... ZACK There's nothing to boast about since I didn't accomplish what needed to be accomplished! BOHEMOTH You know what Zack, how about you cut the crap here and tell things like they really are. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!" An intrigued Zack motions for Bo to 'go ahead'. BOHEMOTH First of all, I don't know what the hell your obsession with this handshake is. And quite frankly I don't care. You better let some air outta that overinflated head of yours and realise that you aren't quite as important around here as you think you are. You've got some big opinion of yourself if you think 'shaking Zack Malibu's hand' is some sort of prize to be cherished. Hell I'm sure there's plenty of guys in the back waiting desperately for you to extend that hand out to them and pass this imaginary torch so they can finally bend down and kiss them feet of yours, but guess what... I ain't one of them! ZACK Clearly not. BOHEMOTH No, and I ain't the only one. Fact is Zack, you claim to be this big 'locker room leader'. You're calling yourself The Franchise. I've heard guys calling you 'the conscience' of the OAOAST. But that's bull. Ever since AngleMania I've had plenty of guys come up to me and say they'd have done the same damn thing in my situation that I did. ZACK What, guys like Alfdogg!? Guys like Landon Maddix maybe!? These are the people who's opinions matter to you all of a sudden? BOHEMOTH I don't give a crap about what Alfdogg, Maddix or anybody thinks. All I care about is what I think. And I think this whole 'respect' spin is nothing but bull. The fact is, you're just worried about losing face because finally there's somebody with the balls to not be in complete reverence to almighty Zack Malibu. Zack laughs that comment off, a laugh which doesn't last long as he's soon back to glaring at Bohemoth. BOHEMOTH You know what I think the problem really is? ZACK What's that then? BOHEMOTH The real problem is, you think that you're the poster boy for the OAOAST... but the fact is, you're just an attention whore who craves the spotlight of being number one! And that's why you keep putting yourself in the position to defend the company all the time whenever any minor threat pops up. You're so used to everybody treating you like the hero, you've forgotten what it's like in the real world. That maybe not everybody feels the same way. And when somebody comes up and doesn't treat you like the hero you claim to be, your ego can't handle it! A tense few moments of staring down breaks out after that. ZACK My ego, huh? MY ego? Let's talk about you bigman, who turns from an ice-cool monster to a pissy little bitch in the space of one loss! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ZACK You want to know why they call me the 'poster boy'? It's because I've been on the posters, in the main-events, selling the tickets, shifting the merchandise and moving the DVDs FOR SIX YEARS NOW!!! "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" ZACK I earned every compliment I've ever gotten in this business. And you wanna know how? Through RESPECT! Sure, I've gone through times where I've been an absolute ass. Put it down to youth, put it down to whatever. The fact is, nobody was calling me 'poster boy' or 'franchise' back then except me. It sounds a hell of a lot more credible when it's coming from other people. And that only comes when they respect you. I respect you. Even after all this. I respect your ability. I respect the fact you're willing to stand on your own two feet. Truth be told, I respect the fact that you want to take 'my spot' and be the man around here. I even respect the fact you've got the balls to come out here and say what you're saying to my face... wrong as you may be. Zack bravely takes a step closer to Bohemoth and risks getting laid out for his trouble. ZACK But what I DON'T respect is the way you can't handle the fact I'm still top dog and you're not. BOHEMOTH You might be top dog still to YOUR people, Malibu. But everybody knows I beat you at the big show and you just need to step aside. ZACK You know what Bo, despite what you think I don't care about being a 'hero'. What I do care about is this company. And I care about it too much to step aside for somebody like you who hasn't proved you're ready for it. Beating me is one thing. Earning the respect that these people have for me is, as you can tell by the boos you got when you walked out here, another story! Bohemoth's supporters quickly voice themselves in protest, to which Zack's respond with the boos. ZACK So I'll tell you what, we're one and one and I know AngleSault wants to put us together one more time to settle this for good. You want it. And so do I. So let's cut past the bureaucracy and get this made official. You and me, Sunday at School's Out, one on one. Challenge issued, Zack extends his hand to Bohemoth, who takes a moment to think about it. COLE There's the challenge. COACH Are we gonna see it though? After some deep thought Bo finally smiles, reaching out... BOHEMOTH You're on. ...and NOT shaking Zack's hand, AGAIN, instead walking off to the back. COLE Wow! COACH Man, Bo won't even shake Zack's hand to accept his challenge, that's commitment! COLE But he did accept the challenge and we will see the final installment this Sunday night! Zack/Bohemoth 3, at School's Out, what a war it's going to be!! Zack can only smile at the shunned handshake as he watched Bohemoth head off backstage, not giving Zack a second look. Still, having gotten what he wanted, Zack seems happy enough and salutes the Hartford fans before he too leaves, although with a noticeable shake of the head. And that is the image we dissolve into commercial from. LATER ON TIGHT MISS CALIFORNIA IS BACK KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS LUCIUS SOUL LATER COMMERCIAL

Hartford ct, and in honor of the being back in the 50, here's some AIM ether I dished on the way back. names changed to protect the innocent. MP: dude I will fuck up your soul. no fuckin joke dude. O'GREEN: fool. i will shape shift like shang tsung and fucc ur hoe wit her thinkin its u only to change back to me right as i nut on her face MP:..... MP:you won MP:gotta respect that and fall back anyway, Krista Vs Lucius Soul altho, if someone has a heel they really want used on the show I am a generous and giving bipedal primate and will use that character in young Lucius' place if they so wish.

94 or 99??? Do I smell a Knicks fan? Shit, b, you did miss out on some unintended comedy from the likes of Larry Brown and Isiah Thomas these past couple years.

awwwwk fuk nooooooooo!!!!!!! The only way anyone sees that series is in NBA 2K8! Celtics/Lakers is preordained by destiny. This classic series is the will of the universe. Its a revival of the greatness of the NBA game, a testament to god's gift to the sports world. I extend an offering to all of you to come aboard the LWO bandwagon, and finally know true athletic greatness. It was a good season for the Spurs, but the they are seasoned like fine cajun cuisine and they did what needed to be done. The stage is now set. Duncan, Pop, and the rest of the geezers now must face off against the rested, swagged up, and always show stoppin LWO. Hollywood Kobe, Lamar, Gasol, PJ must now finish the job of the Mexicans and kick down the Alamo en route to the Finals where the hostile takeover will be completed. Haters are staring down the barrel of a purple & gold revolver. Ya'll need to pay homage or die....

Brought to you by American Express Taped: 5/15 First air date: May 16th, 2008 (check local listings for airings in your area) Lead correspondent: Tony Brannigan Announcers: Josh Matthews and.... (that was supposed to be a pic of bill walton!) Our special guest Mister Bill Walton welcomed us to the show, “Tonight we celebrate the brilliance of the OAOAST. And what a classical artform it is. It was 203 years ago where the world first heard Beethoven's symphony in E flat which escorted in the age of romanticism. And when I look at the OAOAST I think of Beethoven and the age of romantics. This team has got it all.” ***Spencer Reiger Vs Detective Tango Bosley W/EMT Tim Cash*** Freshly whipped by THE GREATEST COMBONATION OF BEAUTY AND BEATDOWNS THE OAOAST HAS EVER seen, Detective Tango Bosley sought a calmer challenge against OAOAVW prospect Spencer Reiger. Unfortunately before the match even began Bosley was again placed in a vexing situation. During the pre-match pat down demanded by Reiger, referee Billy Silverman uncovered a pair of handcuffs. Bosley's strangely logical excuse “I'm a cop!”. Silverman had the nerve and stupidity to ask for Bosley's badge, a distraction that gifted Reiger an opportunity to stride across the ring and hammer Bosley with a lariat. Reiger's shady stunt yielded a plethora of offense, as he assailed Bosley with numerous basic strikes. Eventually his punches and kicks generated enough damage, that he began terrorizing the former NYPD officer with mid level moves such as a vertical suplex, single arm ddt, and a front Russian leg sweep. However, Reiger never once came close to putting Bosley away, and that minute of offense was quickly obliterated by a flurry of attacks from the Detective. Reiger had no answers for the powerbombs, and old school offense that Bosley rammed down his throat. Even his sneaky eye rakes and low blows were but minor bumps in Bosley's road of destruction. A violent throat thrust stunned Bosley and bought Reiger enough time to sneak onto the top rope. But when he came off with an axe handle smash, Bosley greeted him with a boot to the gut followed by the famed NYPD-DDT. Winners: Detective Tango Bosley, via pinfall. Josh made the mistake of asking Walton how Rescue 911 compared to some of great athletes he grew up watching. To which Walton responded, “They remind me greatly of the 72 Lakers. Way back when I was a sophomore in college at UCLA when a truly remarkable aggregation of professional talent actually exceeded the hype and hope of a world searching desperately for authenticity. This is the legacy of Rescue 911.” Backstage Tony Brannigan stood with MARV and MEL to gather their thoughts on their sister Malayasia's sudden appearance into the OAOAST. The twins weren't overly happy to see Malaysia, saying that was one branch of the family tree they aren't eager to climb. They admitted they weren't very nice to Malaysia when they were younger, but defended themselves by saying she was as equally hostile. They were only cruel to her to guard against her, as she got off on physically tormenting them every chance she got. MARV said a perfect gauge of the type of person Malaysia is comes from the fact that the family members she best got along with were Abdullah, and Uncle Morton, who's currently serving 40 years for vehicular assault. They finished the interview by stating they'd prefer to continue to keep their distance from her, and advised everyone else to do the same. After commercial the enhancement talent locker room gave Spencer Reiger wide berth, his scowling face keeping them to their distance. Unaffected by Reiger's arrogantly cruel disposition, EMT Cash burst into the room. Annoyance, disgust, and dismay were written across a face that shot daggers through Reiger's heart. “What?” Reiger asked in sneering disdain. Cash laid into Reiger with alarming ferocity, zeroing in on his prematch shenanigans, and verbally cutting Reiger to shreds. He stated Reiger had a world of talent, but wouldn't amount to squat if he employed those kinds of shady tactics. For a moment it appeared Cash's harsh words were to be the seeds of change for young Reiger. Then Bosley appeared with words that recklessly trampled over Cash's wisdom seeds. “Brother, that was absolutely ALPHA! That's the kind of shit guys around here need to be doing.” He proclaimed to Spencer. “Guys get too busy worrying about pussy crap like class, or respect, or sportsmanship, and you come in like a freakin' god, and you stomped on the balls they don't have like a freakin' ALPHA MALE OF THE GROUP. I love it, baby! I love it That's how we did in the NYPD and I love it, bro, you are a god!” Chuckling with a strange excitement, Bosley turned to Cash for agreement. But, Cash only tossed up his hands in confusion and walked away. That didn't bother Bosley much as it gave him more time to boast about his biceps, abs, and killer workout routine. Footage from earlier in the day of Jumbo, Deuce, and Denzel Spencer driving through the streets of Belfast was shown. Unfortunately, the trio themselves aren't visible due to Spencer's penchant for smokin on that grass clouding up the car. Deuce and Bigelow at first discussed their upcoming six man title match with Internationally Known with much confidence. That is until they listed the achievements of their foes, then their fighting spirit waned significantly. They felt a loss inevitable, and wondered if they should just forfeit. That's when Spencer interjected, “We bad bwoys, and bad bwoys no flee, yuuts. Back home, di rasta, dey say bun dung bumbaclots. Kill the assholes! Internationally Known is bumbaclots. Naa worry bout 'em, mon, we goin punch 'em face in. Tru, Tru,” Though the fatties didn't know what the hell he said, it sounded cool, and somehow their confidence was restored! ***Six man titles: Internationally Known Vs Denzel Spencer, Jumbo, and Deuce Deuce*** As clips from Faqu's destruction of last week's hot-dog eating contest/rap off were shown, Walton commented “The hot dog eating contest was a celebration of the great sport of wrestling...of life itself! Faqu's interrupting it was a pathetic move by a pathetic human being.” Faqu certainly didn't look all that pathetic at the start of the match, as he pulverized all three members of the opposition with repeated headbutts. Fortunately, the challengers gained the upperhand when Spencer caught Faqu by surprise with a springboard dropkick. From there he played a brief cat and mouse game with the Samoan, tagging him with dropkicks and arm drags, while avoiding his potentially deathly offense. Once Faqu realized he had zero answers to Spencer's evasive assault, he brought his long time friend, Blonde into the affair. Blonde was more capable of handling the Jamaican's style, and slowed him down a bit by coming into the match with a lockup. Though neither would be confused as technical wizards, they did go through an impressive sequence of arm drags and leg locks. But it was a Scissor kick that earned Spencer an advantage and the time to tag in Jumbo. The blubbery brawler came in fueled by vengeance and overran Blonde with a body splash. That move was merely the opening act to several thunderous splashes and BUTT drops from the oversized competitor. After being flattened like a pancake, Blonde wasn't given much time to return to normal size, with Deuce's intro into the bout. But, Deuce's chance to further mangle the Canadian never came to pass due to Blonde attacking him with a low blow. Stunned by the cheapshot, Deuce was hit with Guilt Trip (Play Of The Day/Playmaker ). The signature hold nearly ended Deuce's title bid with a near three count. Walton, was unimpressed, "A year ago it looked like the OAOAST was moving forward when they bought out Flex Phillip's contract. Now, they still have him. His name just changed to James Blonde." Faqu reentered the bout and proceeded to trade heavy hands with Deuce, neither one willing to back down. Faqu secured victory in the brief boxing match by flooring Jumbo with an axe kick. "Faqu is one of the greats. Not just of this generation, but of all time." Walton proclaimed to Josh's disbelief. But the all time great was put down by a bulldog from Spencer, who retreated back to his corner to make a tag with Deuce. Upon reentering the ring he attempted to replay the strategy that served him so well earlier. But on the second go-round Faqu was prepared for his speed, and met a running cross body block with a Samoan drop. After only getting a two on the dangerous counter, the savage warrior tagged Black into the match. For several exciting minutes, Spencer matched the technical skills of Black, and reversed several submissions into ones of his own. But over time, Black's talents far exceeded Spencer's limitations and the Brit trapped his foe into deadly submissions that targeted the leg. Every time Spencer would fight out, Black would bring him down to the mat with a shin breaker, chop block, or dragon screw and reapply his painful hold. Although not prone to showmanship, Black decided to finish Spencer off in the most glorious way possible; he fastened him onto the top turnbuckle, and climbed up with him, ready to hit a super shin buster. But, Spencer miraculously succeeded in countering with super bulldog! As the fans applauded this stunning reversal of fortunes, he made a pivotal tag with Jumbo! “Jumbo is back into this match!” Josh screamed, “Nathaniel Black what misery hath you wrought?” Walton moaned. A Jumbo sized (lol) hand discarded Black like a common house fly. And Blonde's entry into the ring cursed him with the same fate. But, the trendsetter stood back up to continue the fight, only be set back down on the mat by a chokebomb. But Jumbo's display of power was crushed beneath the thrust kicking foot of Faqu! Deuce attempted to combat Faqu with various punches and elbow smashes, but a High Angle Backdrop Suplex was all Faqu needed to fight him off. Faqu was delighted with his dominance and celebrated with an earth shaking island roar. But, this let him get caught off guard by Spencer's Carribean Compactor (Northern Lights Bomb)! The Jamaican couldn't even entertain a pin before Block trapped him into a pinning situation with a cross body block. Right as the ref's hand hit the mat for the second time, Jumbo sprung into action and the air with body splash aimed at Black. But the Brit moved out the way and his partner was crushed beneath Jumbo's 440 lbs! Jumbo backed away horrified at his error, and eager to right this gross wrong. But, Black drove a Chelsea Dagger(final cut) through Jumbo's title dreams, and secured another successful defense. Winners: Internationally Known, via pinfall. "Jumbo let the opportunity of winning the most important belts in the history of sports entertainment go away because he couldn't get himself away from the buffet table. He shames us all." Walton lamented as Internationally Known celebrated their latest victory. On the interview podium which fat cat capitalist greed has now decorated entirely with IKEA brand furniture, Tony Brannigan stood with number one contenders for the One and Only World Tag Team Titles, ThunderKid and Reject. The duo expressed their ire over the idea that Team Heyross going so long without winning the tag title was some kind of travesty. Reject stated that it wasn't a travesty at all. It was a reality, a “reality that they weren't and still aren't good enough to hold the belts.” Following that up, ThunderKid noted that their own lack of tag gold came from a frustrating absence of opportunity not a lack the lack of skills they cited Team Heyross as having. Both men promised to make good on their rare chance to capture tag gold. ***Biff Atlas Vs Blake Hamilton*** Obviously fearful of Northern Ireland's bloody past, safety minded Biff wrestled this match in full riot gear. He could've wrestled bound and gagged for all the danger his foe presented him. Atlas made short work of Hamilton, smashing him with brute strength. After busting him wide open with headbutts form his helmet covered dome, Atlas let his kevlar suit KO Hamilton with a running forearm. Winner: Biff Atlas, via knockout. “Biff Atlas performs magical moves the likes of which have never been seen before! He's a treat and a treasure for the world at large!” Walton declared post match. JOSH WTF? Backstage the bubbly was flowing, the merriment was high, and the party was going down because dudes were celebrating the good times. Two, incredibly obsessed fanboys named Shayne Brave and Tyler Bryant were celebrating that is. And what might be the cause of their immense joy and reverly? As if you even had to ask! The cute teenyboppers were thrilled by the fact that their adored pinup, Krista would be in the OAOAST ring this coming Friday! To welcome the return of Queen Krista, the kids were busy preparing her special gift basket. Unfortunately their generous offering was nearly derailed by one simple item, chapstick! Tyler believed she liked Grape, while Shayne insisted she preferred Strawberry. Neither willing or able to concede an error in their Krista fandom, D*LUX nearly came to blows. But then, The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew, two men who hate Krista as much as D*LUX love her, entered the room. Needless to say they scoffed and scorned at D*LUX's efforts to show their love and appreciation to Krista. They angrily pointed out that Krista has humiliated and degraded just about every man in the OAOAST, and D*LUX's adoration is just another occurrence of that long running theme. Tyler, and Shayne tried to remain diplomatic, expanding on Krista's good qualities and extending an invitation to their branch of the Krista fan club. Lucius was unmoved. “Shit, I ain't getting out the ho bidness for no Frisco dyke. 8 Track Steros, Ataris, and all the bitches I can smash in a minute. Shyeeaaaaat. Ya''ll must be out yo mind, not unless she finna let me watch her scissor screw some chick. But, I'ma finally smash that bugga bear and make bank. Then I'ma do her like she did me and Rico. I'ma turn that ass on the streets and make some duckets.” Such vulgarities were not tolerated by D*LUX, and driven by heated rage, they attacked the Wrecking Crew! Thankfully security was quick to the scene, before their gift bag could be trampled! “Jason Kapono, Earl Watson, Matt Barnes, Jordan Farmar. These are UCLA legends, men of honor and dignity, that Krista and I both looked to as modern day heroes during our time at that great institution of higher learning.” Walton reminisced with a tear in his eye. SCHOOL'S OUT May 25th 2008 THE OAOAST IS IN CRISIS! At least that's what a slick video package would have us believe. According to the booming voice of the announcer the OAOAST has lost its moral compass in the swampy morass of sin and corruption. Though the lecturing voice never pined blamed on any one figure, the fact that the majority of the visuals focused on Anglesault in varying moods of anger, hate, and rage, made the message fairly obvious. Though the video was numerous in its complaints, it was low on solutions, saying the OAOAST simply needed an Inspirational Leader to be its moral guide. That was the prefect segue to the.... HOUSE OF WORSHIP! In the palatial and stunning confines of the HOW set, surrounded by a bevy of Arab beauties in skimpy belly dancer outfits, sat his holiness, Abdullah Abir Nerdly. Abdullah informed us that he has been serving the greater good as Mister Moneymaker's spiritual advisor during his cold war with Anglesault. But, he could not in good conscience, stand behind the scenes while his disciple fights the good fight against evil. Thusly, he announced a School's Out edition of HOW with guest Anglesault, with the intention of “rooting out sin from its darkest chambers.” But, on this edition of Syndicated, Abdullah wished to dispell the rumors that its only The Enterprise who are disgusted with the OAOAST leader. “There's an entire roster of souls fractured by the wayward actions and empty rhetoric of this morose creature!” First on the guest list were Felix Strutter and Reggie Lamont. Strutter angrily ran down AS for ignoring his reign as International World Champion and then letting him waste away after he lost the title. “A travesty to any man who dares to dream beyond his own mortal limitations!” Abdullah cried. Lamont remarked that he felt slighted and shunned by AS, believing AS has a set group of favorites he caters to to determent of those not in his circle. Then Mexico's own Mister Brociua walked onto the set...and began eating the furniture. Then The Last Kings of Scotland, Scotish Scott and Danny Boy, came out, to join in on the character assassination. They branded him a myopic, inkstain goon, a bumbling boor with no understanding of the world outside his NYC apartment. Anglesault's problem, in their view, is that he is a slave to Americana, and a xenophobic mutant. They asserted they had been continually looked over for various opportunities in favor of lesser qualified American wrestlers. With Strutter and Lamont seconding them and Boricua...eating the furniture, they sated that he treats the foreign wrestlers worse then dirt. This brought out Nathaniel Black, and great passion he echoed those comments. He denounced AS as a sad old git, and said he “wouldn't give 'em a squirt of a piss if he was burning.” Tired of all the whining was Jamie O'Hara, who came out with microphone in hand. O'Hara said that while he wasn't going to a pub with AS for half a pint, he didn't “hate the bloke, neither.” In O'Hara's opinion, the problem here wasn't Anglesault's management it was that the complaining six “just suck!” That cutting comment could have resulted in a messy 1 on 6 brawl were it not for Synth Abdul-Jabar emerging to calm the situation. “Ah understand yer unease and anger, young brother.” Synth began. “These dark days is painful, bro, they painful. But good be comin from em. Trust to dat. We'se draggin' skeletons out they closet by the truck full. Dragging them out into the light and putting them to rest. All in the name of Allah.” It was Synth's belief that O'Hara needed a spiritual guide much the same way he needed Abdullah to take him down the proper path to salvation. Thus, the kind hearted soul offered O'Hara the chance to study beneath him. Unfortunately O'Hara rejected this amazing offer by shoving Synth to the ground! Though the gang of foreigners were ready to pummel the Brit into dust, Abdullah hastily called them off and made a match between Synth and O'Hara for the mainevent. As the tense scene cleared, Walton astutely observed, "Where else but the OAOAST could people like Jamie O'Hara, Mister Boricua, Abdullah Abir Nerdly, and Synth Esizer come in and be allowed to be who they are?" NEXT WEEK ON HELDDOWN~! Pretaped from Hartford, CT! Krista Isadora returns to the OAOAST ring I'm sure there's more, dudes just ain't used the booking thread in a minute! ***Synth Abdul Jabar W/Abdullah Abir Nerdly Vs Jamie O'Hara*** With Esizer dancing down the ramp in celebration of the “great gift of faith” Walton declared "Synth Esizer belongs not only in the Hall of Fame of the OAOAST, but also in the Hall of Fame of Life." Not quite in agreement was O'Hara, who tumbled over the rope with swanton press to wipe out both Abdul-Jabbar and his spiritual guide Abdullah. With the sold out audience rooting him on, O'Hara began hammering his foe with the intensity of a world class brawler. But, the Birmingham badboy wasn't well equipped for a street fight, and eventually Synth was able to battle back with overpowering right hands. After punching O'Hara into a stupor, Abdul-Jabar increased the furor of his attacks by smashing the cruiserweight's face into the steel steps. At referee Charles Robinson's request, the devout Muslim brought his enemy into the ring. There Synth showed why he's a three time tag team champion, dominating O'Hara with neckbreakers, and powerful punching. These attacks built his confidence, but from confidence sprung arrogance, and from arrogance sprung O'Hara, mashing Synth with an army of dropkicks. “Bill, do you think O'Hara is better than someone like Spanish Fly at utilizing his speed at the right moment? *ten seconds of silence* “Bill?” “Thats like asking me to pick which one of my sons I love more!” Distraught with the sudden reversal of fortunes, SAJ retreated to the outside for spiritual counseling from the speaker for the prophets. Guided by the wisdom of the Inspirational Leader, Sytnh returned to the ring and regained control of the match. Again he brutalized O'Hara with a pug ugly brawling attack. However, nothing he did could secure victory against the resilient youth. O'Hara's legion of supporters got behind him, and he used their support to stage a comeback. Hurricanranas and springboard attacks were the order of the day, and forced Synth to make another retreat to the outside. This time Abdullah could offer him no assistance, only able to watch in horror as O'Hara crashed into him with twisting plancha! O'Hara rolled Synth into the ring, and brought the crowd to their by signaling for the Black Russian Legsweep! However, Synth reversed that attack into The Gate of Deliverance (Hammerlock into clothesline), earning a close two count. Back on their feet, Synth threw his boot into O'Hara's stomach and went for a snap Percussion DDT! But, O'Hara frantically shoved his enemy into the ropes, and when Synth returned he flung him head over heels with a hurricanrana! Seemingly woozy from the dizzying assault, SAJ staggered to his feet. O'Hara attempted to capitalize on his weakened state, charging him from across the ring. But, the devious Synth, dipped into his pants and pulled out pages of the Qur'an! These holy words weren't used to recite scripture, instead they were jammed into O'Hara's mouth in a move all to similar to the mandible claw. Unable to escape Synth's lethal hold, O'Hara submitted. Winner: Synth, via submission. After the match Synth sought to cleanse O'Hara of his sin plagued mind, by continuing to suffocate him with his claw hold. But, thank the good heavens for the Christ Air Express, who with lead pipes in tow managed to frighten off SAJ and their adopted brother. Walton closed out the show by commenting, “Abdullah Abir is so ugly he makes Jumbo look like Alix Maria Spezia!” KOBE=MVP LEBROOM= HATERS=

Participation points, baby!

hmmmm. why not try Los Diablos, there's another match we've never had before.

THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD Ultimate Victory brings millions of television watchers across the globe to their sets for the latest edition of HeldDOWN. The introductory video is littered with scenes from the various shows that have made up our european vacation and are tinted in a soft earthy golden brown so as to male them seem more nostalgic. We go into the arena and our shot is vibrant with colour. Reds, pinks, and oranges, explode off the screen in a fantastic almost dreamlike beauty. Less beautiful are our announce crew, Double C. Even the orange spot light they stand beneath does little to improve their figures... COLE Ladies and gentlemen welcome to Belfast! And we are on the final night of our European Vacation! COACH Ah Europe, your women, your wine, your food, your cocaine, all pale in comparsion to America's. USA! USA! USA! You are gay! You are gay! COLE Please, never listen to him. Every country has been a splendid host to the OAOAST, and the fans have been magnificent, and we're going to reward them with a great finale tonight, which includes an Anglemania rematch between Zack Malibu and Bohemoth! COACH Wow! These p chords don't deserve the greatness of that rematch. You gotta hold that off for the red, white and blue. Our country has earned that! We gotta return to home shores with a bang! COLE I'm sure we will. But first, let's get up to the ring where a very special guest is standing by! We go right to the ring where the World Heavyweight Champion, Tha Puerto Rican, is already in the ring and watching on with a bored expression as he waits for Cole to finish talking. The already cheering crowd increase in volume once the main camera is on PRL, leant against the ropes by the announce table. PRL No no, don't stop on my account. I've only been standing here for three minutes waiting for you to shut the hell up and get on with the show. Did you get everything? COLE We- PRL Shut up! COACH HA! You just got served by the World Cha- PRL Hey, Coach, I thought I sent you packing a couple of weeks ago. These ESPN contracts aren't what they used to be nowadays, huh? "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" PRL See, these people have been waiting to chant the Champ's name from the moment my music hit, to the moment I grabbed this microphone, to the moment the fireworks went off. Nobody cares what's happening later. Nobody cares about your funny little back-and-forths. Nobody cares what second rate Wikipedia research you've done in between trawling your bizarre little pornography hotspots during the week. All that matters is that we are in Belfast, Northern Ireland... "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" PRL ...and that the CHAMP... IS HERE!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH ...he sure told you. PRL Tha Puerto Rican is in the house and he has a couple of things to get off of his chest. School's Out is ten days away. And I am wondering what in the hell is going on around here lately to leave me with not one, but TWO number one contenders! I want to know how a simple number one contender tournament has left me dealing with one of the biggest pain in the asses walking God's green earth again. And I definately need to know who in the hell thought 'Tha Czech Republican' was a funny idea last week! Because I am absolutely stumped. COACH Hey, it's his fault. PRL So in ten days time, now I've got not one but two number one contenders to deal with. The solution to this whole mess is to stick me in a Triple Threat Match. It's gonna be Tha Puerto Rican defending against Todd Cortez and Landon Maddix. Two nobodies who've been dancing the same merry dance for nine long, boring months. And I could give a flying crap about it! PRL paces around the ring. PRL Landon likes Todd. Todd hates Landon. Now Todd is Landon's tag team partner. Now he's not. They fight, they make up, they fight again. It's like a watching an entire series of the homosexual version of Friends and damn it all if the heterosexual version isn't bad enough! Well at School's Out, they will feel the firm bitchslap of reality from the World Heavyweight Champion! And at School's Out, I guaran-damn-tee that Tha Puerto Rican will LAY THE SMA... .:CUE: "Oh No", Mos Def, Nate Dogg, and Pharoah Monche:. COLE Uh-oh. COACH Well this just got interesting. The Belfast crowd's necks collectively crane towards the entrance way as out marches Todd Cortez, interrupting the World Champion! PRL shoots the evil eye towards Cortez as he heads down the aisleway, enters the ring and walks right past him to grab his own microphone. PRL Woah woah woah. I was under the impression you were a mute. Cortez looks distinctly unimpressed. CORTEZ Real simple. Why? PRL Why what? Why anything? Am I supposed to be some sort of mind reader or is this a riddle maybe? CORTEZ Why did you get me disqualified? Was it deliberate, or not? COACH Oh yeah, here we go. Get out of this one big mouth! Eyeing Cortez up, PRL shakes his head. PRL First of all, who in the hell are you to interrupt the World Champion? Secondly, who the hell are you to suggest I got you deliberately disqualified? And why? Because Landon said I did? I'd have thought you of all people would understand the crap that comes out of his mouth! So, what? You think that I came in and got you DQed so I wouldn't have to deal with your flippy little piledriver. The fact is, Tha Puerto Rican wipes his ass with your ridiculous looking move! It's simple. Maddix threw water on me. I went into the ring and smacked Maddix around for ruining a thousand dollar shirt. End of story. The very fact that you'd even for a second believe ANYTHING that Landon Maddix makes me wonder if I doubted you. Because I was actually looking forward to fighting you at School's Out. Cortez looks a little dubious still. PRL Todd Cortez, the man that stood up for himself. The guy who stopped listening to Landon Maddix's bullshit and went out for himself, to be his own man. Do you realise how many years I spent in the OAOAST, surrounded by 'yes men'? Snivelling cowards like Vitamin X. Like Spanish Fly. Like Thomas Rodriguez. People without the balls to stand up for themselves. People with no brains of their own. You were almost 'that guy' and you got away. You showed you had a brain. And you won the tournament to get a shot at Tha Puerto Rican at School's Out. But then, you throw it all away! Fact is, if you hadn't accepted Landon's challenge, you'd still be facing me one on one in ten days. Don't blame Tha Puerto Rican. YOU made the mistake, pal! With arms folded, Cortez waits for PRL to finish... ...but is interrupted by "Megalomaniac" and the arrival of LANDON MADDIX! COLE Aw great. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" With a scowl etched on his face, Landon steps out onto the entrance way and shakes his head while motioning for some quiet from the Belfast public. Megan Skye stands at his side and tries to lend a hand, but gets no more success than Landon. MADDIX Enough of this! Enough! All of this is a waste of time... "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" Landon directs his scowl at the fans until they settle down again. MADDIX All of this talk is a waste of time, because this situation is about to change. The card subject to change has been changed. Because last week, in front of thousands of people in Birmingham and a worldwide TV audience, you Todd Cortez made the single DUMBEST move of your entire life! You used your little Riot Act Plus on me, again. "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" MADDIX And now, you can spend the next thirty days practicising on your public speaking a little more, because you are officially suspen... PRL Hang on one second here. Pissed at being interrupted, Landon puts his hands on his hips. PRL Correct me if I'm wrong, but last week you were wrestling in your little European challenge? MADDIX I was, but Todd came out in a mask. PRL Correct me again, but I thought I saw you against a guy called Tha Czech Republican? MADDIX Which was Todd under a mask. PRL Hmm. Interesting. See, because I know Tha Czech Republican. MADDIX Do you also know he's Todd under a mask. PRL Nope. Don't remember that. We've swapped cheques a couple of times, that's about all I remember. Anyway, didn't I remember hearing Michael Cole there call that fancy piledriver, NOT the Riot Act Plus, but the Czech Republican Destroyer, the signature move of Tha Czech Republican as everybody knows. MADDIX It was the Riot Act Plus because it was Todd under a mask! PRL turns to Cortez and looks at him curiously. PRL No. That can't be right. See... Todd Cortez was with me that entire night. COACH WHAT!? Losing his temper, Landon takes a couple of deep breaths to calm himself down while Todd wonders what the hell PRL's talking about. MADDIX Wha... what the hell are you talking about!? Just shut up and let me deal with this. PRL I can't do that, because Todd here's innocent. While you were getting dropped on your head and pinned, Todd was with me. He can't have piledrove you. He wasn't there. So, I guess you can't suspend him since he's got an alibi. Sorry. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Landon slowly begins to turn bright red, fists clenched. Megan can be seen asking him if he's okay, but just gets the sound of teeth grinding in response. As Cortez shrugs his shoulders and decides to play along rather than get landed with the 30-day suspension, that's when Landon threatens to really lose it. MADDIX Okay. Okay, yeah, I get it. Of course. Because that's what YOU people do, isn't it, give each other alibis and stuff. Oh, que pesa! That's cool. That's... yeah. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" COLE Landon's about to have a breakdown any second here. COACH I don't blame him! MADDIX In that case, we'll just go with that whole triple threat thing at School's Out, no problem. Sounds good. Can't wait. In the meantime, since you're NOT gonna be suspended, how about we have a little tag team match here tonight? Huh? That sound good, 'amigos'? Oh yeah. Let's have it be me, teaming up with... my GOOD PAL, Todd Cortez! Or, Tha Czech Republican, if he's available of course. Either's good! And together, we'll take on the most honest man in professional wrestling, PRL... and whoever he can find to team with him now all his lackeys do not wub him anymore. How about that? Good? Good. Good. I'm going now, have a great time. Landon drops the microphone and stomps off to continue his temper tantrum some place else, with Megan scuttling off after him. In the ring, Cortez and PRL now turn and stare each other down with the tables suddenly turned on each other. COLE Not quite the start to the night Landon was hoping for. But he might get a better end to it, when the School's Out main-eventers do battle in tag-team action! LATER ON TONIGHT JOCK'S DICK; BEEN THERE DONE THAT. CASH'S DICK; SITS THERE WITH DUNCE CAP MISTER DICK Vs EMT TIM CASH LATER AND NEXT WEEK HOME IS WHERE THE HATRED IS HeldDOWN~! RETURNS TO AMERICA! COMMERCIAL

Apparently the only places in Belfast worth visiting are the city hall and a church. also lol, at my poor planning, we're about to have three matches in a row! So we'll return to the arena where powerful shades of blue and red illumination flicker across the arena landscape, shrouding it totally in the glow. Tell me the story of how you ended up here I've heard it all in the hospital Still no love for the brave men of the OAOAST First Responders Unit, the duo met with scattered applause. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied by OFFICER TANGO BOSLEY…from the OAOAST First Responders Unit... EMT TIM CCAAAAAASSSSHHHHHH!! Smiles and fist pumps are all Tango and Cash have to fire up the crowd, neither of which works. Then the wildest, wackiest piece of music nobody knows the name of because Patty forgot to say plays. My dick cost a late-night fee Your dick got the HIV My dick plays on the double feature screen Your dick went straight to DVD My dick: bigger than a bridge Your dick look like a little kid's My dick: large like the Chargers, the whole team Your shit look like you're 14 That lovely little number brings out Jock Mulligan and his new lady friend, wielding a CAT O’ NINE TAILS WHIP. BUFFER And his opponent, led down the aisle by the ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns… MALAYSIA! From San Antonio, Texas, weighing 238 pounds, the cock of the walk… “MR. DICK” JOCK MULLIGAN!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Having seen it all in their line of work, even Tango and Cash are taken aback by Malaysia. COACH There he is, Mikey, the cockiest individual in the OAOAST today joined by the ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns Malaysia. COLE Who Jock says is the only woman DOMINATING enough to handle The Dick. And I believe him. It looks to me she has some experience with that whip. The biggest shit-eating grin imaginable etched on his face, Jock removes a white headband with “DICK” written across in red ala the back of his trunks and HURLS it at EMT Tim. As Tim prepares to lunge forward Jock puts both hands up. All of a sudden remorseful, Jock apologizes for his actions and suckers Tim into shaking his hand… …KICK, DOUBLE LEG TAKEDOWN, HEADBUTT TO THE GROIN! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE How apropos is it for that to be called Just Being A Dick? Jock picks Tim up and delivers the COCK SHOCK! ONE… TWO… NO! Jock rolls off just to flex. Yes, flex. After enjoying himself on the AngleTron Jock lifts Tim across his shoulders for the COCK BLOCK… but Tim slips out and STRIKES BACK. Again and again. Reeling against the ropes Jock is whipped across and back dropped. He staggers to his feet and gets taken down by a MISSLE DROPKICK~! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The EMT heads straight back to the top with Jock laid out near the corner…AND STOMPS DOWN WITH BOTH FEET!! COLE Starting CPR is EMT Tim Cash. ONE… TWO… THR-- KICKOUT! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” COACH I can’t believe EMT Tim -- EMT TIM! -- almost handled The Dick. COLE What an upset that would’ve been. And what a devastating loss it would’ve been for Jock heading into his match with Leon Rodez at School’s Out. Tim signals for the SLEEPER HOLD, his Do Not Resuscitate finishing move, and LOCKS IT ON! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Officer Bosley keeps a close eye on Malaysia as Jock struggles to find a way out of the sleeper. Then a counter, as Jock goes under and drives Tim into the mat with a DIVING FULL NELSON SLAM!! COACH DAYUM~! That‘s what I call PURE PENETRATION! ONE… TWO… THREE! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner… “MR. DICK” JOCK MULLIGAN! Though his hand is raised in victory Jock continues to put the boots to EMT Tim, prompting Officer Bosley to intervene. * WHAP * BOSLEY WHIPPED by Malaysia, law enforcement’s finest is ready to use excessive force. Now face to face with the ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns (we‘re gonna beat that phrase to the ground because Jim Ross taught us that‘s OK), Bosley is blindsided and the egotistical twosome go to work. "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The crowd roars not for the assault on Rescue 911, but the arrival of LEON RODEZ~! * JAB * * JAB * * JAB * * JAB * * JAB * Rodez blows a kiss to the fans and readies to deliver an enzurigi, but Malaysia yanks Jock out to the floor and the pair retreat. COLE The Silky Smooth One putting Mr. Dick on notice. What a match it’ll be at School’s Out from Albany, New York! Tickets are all sold out but you can join us from pay per view! Folks, we'll return with our mainevent in just a moment! SCHOOL'S OUT LEON RODEZ VS MISTER DICK JOCK MULLIGAN ONE AND ONLY WORLD TAG TITLES: TEAM HEYROSS VS THUNDERKID AND REJECT OAOAST WORLD TITLE:LANDON MADDIX VS PRL VS TODD CORTEZ ONLY ON PPV AND NEXT WEEK KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN RETURNS TO THE OAOAST RING NEXT WEEK!

COLE Alright, this is the one we've been waiting for. After a memorable but controversial first ever meeting, Bohemoth and Zack Malibu go one on one once again, right here in Belfast. These two great athletes tore the house down on March 30th in one of the greatest matches in AngleMania history. But not all of it was left in the ring that night, after the victorious Bohemoth refused to shake the hand of Zack after the match. Zack claimed that was disrespect, Bohemoth accused Zack of trying to 'steal his moment'. And finally the date and place have been agreed on to try and settle this one more time! COACH Man, I dunno who's in the right or who's in the wrong, nor do I care. All I know is, if AngleMania was any indication, we're in for a hell of a fight! .:CUE: "Getting Away With Murder", Papa Roach:. COLE And HERE we go! Let's go up to the ring, with Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following contest is an AngleMania VII rematch and is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first. Hailing from Providence, Rhode Island... he weighs two hundred, ten pounds... ladies and gentlemen, the true "FRANCHISE" of the OAOAST, this is ZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCK... MMMMMMMAAAAAAAALLLLIIIIIIIIIIBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Walking through a shower of golden pyro, Zack Malibu appears from behind the curtain and marches to the ring with a determined look on his face, but still time for his fans. A burst of white pyro shoots out from either side of the ramp behind him as he tags a few hands on his way. Zack slides into the ring and salutes the sold-out crowd before running the ropes in an effort to loosen himself up. COLE This isn't about evening scores or getting wins back for Zack Malibu. Tonight it's about respect. COACH Well sure that's what he'd tell you, since he's the guy that lost at AngleMania. Of course it's about getting wins back! Come on already. With some civil words to the referee checking him over, Zack limbers up in the corner... *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" ...as "Liberate" powers out into the arena! The curtains part again and through them marches Bohemoth, head held high as he makes his entrance to what becomes a rather mixed reception. Bo pauses, lowering his orange-tinted sunglasses briefly before striding on towards his rival. BUFFER And, on his way to the ring the opponent! Hailing from Greenville, South Carolina and weighing two hundred and eighty four pounds... "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BBOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHEEEEEEEEEMMOOOOOOOOOTTHHHHHHH!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Large support as ever for The Meterosexual Monster, but you can't help but notice a smattering of boos in there as well. Making light work of the aisleway, Bohemoth jogs up the ring steps and pulls off his trusty orange shades. Out into the sea of people they get flicked, Bo now locking eyes with Malibu from across the ring. Bohemoth climbs the turnbuckles, making sure his opponent gets a good look at the impressive physique he's about to try and cut through again as he flexes his muscles for the Belfast crowd. Jumping off the turnbuckles, Bohemoth suddenly comes face to face with Malibu in the middle of the ring. No words are exchanged. Bohemoth just smirks, while Zack stares up at his larger opponent until the referee steps in and seperates them. COLE You can cut the tension with a knife right now. COACH These two are gonna tear each other limb from limb, I can't wait! *DINGDINGDING!* The moment the bell sounds, the action starts, as Malibu strikes hard and fast with a forearm across Bo's jaw! The big man is then reined in by Malibu and nailed with a pair of European uppercuts, making him woozy while Zack bounces off the ropes...and runs right into a hard lariat! Bo drags Zack up and pounds on him, clubbing him across the back and then shoving him backwards into the corner, then crushing him with another lariat in the corner! Zack then gets led out and shot into the ropes, and the next thing he knows he's airborne, as Bo presses him up into the air...but as Zack falls back to earth, he manages to hit Bo with a dropkick that sends him staggering back! Bo charges, and Zack carries him over with a hiptoss. Malibu goes for an elbow but comes up short, and when Bo rolls to his feet he tries the same tactic, getting the same result in the process. Both men are now up on their feet, burning a hole through one another as they circle, with the noise of an enthusiastic crowd fueling both their rage! COLE Nothing was solved at Anglemania, and nothing has been solved here in the early going. These are two men with one thing in common...they want to beat the other one senseless! The two lock up, and Bo grabs a headlock, but Malibu slides out easily and grabs a rear waistlock. Bo has a good laugh at that, as Malibu can't budge the big bruiser. Bohemoth tears Malibu's hands off his waist, then snapmares him over and slaps him across the back of the head, drawing a mix of "Ooooh's" and "Boooo's" from the crowd! COACH Ooooh DAMN, if Malibu felt disrespected at Anglemania, I wonder how he feels after that! Zack rolls to his feet, while Bo smirks at him and waves him on. Not one to be toyed with, Zack moves forward and ties up with Bo, but gets thrown off rather handily by the Metrosexual Monster. Zack charges again, trying to tackle Bo down, but the big man stays grounded, and hammers Zack across the back before gutwrenching him up off the mat! Zack manages to slide down his back, then spins Bo around to deliver a kick to the gut and suplex him to the canvas! Zack rolls through the move, bringing Bo up to his feet, and then traps his arms in a butterfly lock, then starts driving knees into the pimptastic superstar! After that, Zack fireman carries Bo to the canvas, then hits the ropes and delivers a basement dropkick to Bo as he sits up, then tries for a cover on his rival! ONE! KICKOUT! COLE Great burst of offense by Malibu, but Bohemoth isn't going to go down that easily! Zack traps Bo in a facelock as he gets up, but the big man powers forward and tries to back Zack into the corner...but Malibu breaks the hold and shoves Bo chest first into the turnbuckles, then takes him to the mat with a waistlock! Bo pushes up on all fours, but Zack stands over him, then drops down onto his lower back, then delivers a few hard crossface shots before pulling Bo to his feet and jarring him with a Russian legsweep! Zack rolls through that move as well, then struggles to get an armbar, but Bo fights it, desperately looking to pull his arm away. Zack struggles to lock in the hold, but Bo rolls onto his side and grabs Zack's throat with his free hand, using that as leverage to make Zack let him get to his feet! Bo comes up, glaring at Zack as he holds him by the neck, and then he picks up Malibu and throws him into the corner! Bo then charges in and drives the air out of Malibu with a running shoulderblock, and as Zack reels from that, Bo slaps him hard across the face, then goes back to driving his shoulder into his ribcage! Zack then gets sent to the far side, and Bo follows, hitting a running shoulderblock that crumples Zack down in the corner! Zack holds his ribs as he's led to his feet, then hoisted up onto Bo's shoulder and run back across the ring, to the corner he was just beaten in, and dropped across the top turnbuckle with a snake eyes, leaving him staggered as Bo hits the ropes and hits a rabbit lariat with such force that Malibu falls through the ropes, out to the ringside floor~! COLE That power advantage coming into play once again right there! That man makes even the most common wrestling moves into killers, just because of the sheer intensity and strength behind them! COACH Not to mention that Bo has gained a bit of a mean streak since Anglemania, Mikey Cole. That power advantage and that mental toughness, being more carefree about what he does in that ring and who he's doing it to...that's gonna be tough to combat! Bo hops out of the ring and grabs Zack off the floor, but Malibu, ever the opportunist, shows that he wasn't hurt as bad as he let on! Knocking Bo's hands away, Malibu opens fire with a flurry of open hand slaps, wailing on Bo before using a ROARING ELBOW~!...that hits elbow, as Bo puts his arm up to block, then hoists Malibu off his feet and runs across ringside with him, ramming his back into the guardrail! Zack winces, as Bo lifts Zack up and drapes him over his shoulder, carrying him towards the ring...and then slamming his back into the edge of the apron! Zack then gets rolled in by Bo, who gets up on the apron and scowls at the crowd who begin to shower him with boos. Bo then casually gets back into the ring as if he doesn't hear the crowd reaction, and simply picks Zack up and drops him with a backbreaker! COLE Bohemoth has zeroed in on a body-part now, the back of Zack Malibu. And we know how much of the bigman's offence involves picking you up and throwing you around. COACH I think it's a little more involved than that. Right on cue, Bohemoth picks Zack up and throws him back down with a bodyslam. Off the ropes, Bo follows up with high elevation on an elbow drop and hooks a leg... ONE! TWO! No! Trying to get off the canvas, Zack strikes back at Bo with an open handed chop to the chest while shuffling towards the ropes. Stomps to the lower back prevent Zack from getting there. Bo stalks right after Zack as he starts crawling again, this time dropping down with a knee. Pinning the knee in the back, Bohemoth reaches back and pulls back on the chin to trap Malibu in a submission predicament. No submission just yet from Zack though despite the 284 pounds on his back preventing him from reaching the ropes. COLE This is what we didn't really see from Bohemoth at AngleMania, taking Malibu down and controlling him in these sort of positions. With the size advantage Bohemoth can really wear The Franchise down by forcing him to carry his body weight like this. Zack summons up the energy to twist and squirm from underneath the knee in the back, left in the chinlock but able to get a hand on the bottom rope. Bohemoth breaks cleanly when required, but drops a big elbow across the back before Zack can get to his feet. Another elbow is dropped before Bo drags Malibu away from the ropes and into the centre of the ring. Bo stands over Zack's back and bends down to apply a camel clutch. Out through the legs shuffles Zack however. With Bo momentary lost, Zack reaches up and pulls the bigman down with a surprise roll-up! ONE! TWO! No! First to his feet, Bo takes a short run-up and just SLAMS the flat of his boot into the side of Zack's face! COLE OH! Point blank, boot right to the jaw! COACH And that'll cut Zack's fightback off in it's tracks. Bohemoth reaches down and picks Zack up off the canvas. Scooping him into his arms with impressive ease, the monster from Greenville does a couple of curls with his opponent to show off his strength before he drops him down across a knee with a backbreaker. Keeping Malibu draped over the knee Bo then presses down on the jaw and the knee to continue the back breaking process. Again no submission from Zack, but plenty of shouts of pain as he's bent down across the knee. Bo raises an arm and clubs Zack in his exposed stomach with a forearm. And as Zack wags his finger 'no' again, he gets another forearm. Zack surprises him by lifting his free leg up and cracking him in the face with a knee though! Bo pushes right back down on the backbreaker, but Zack throws a second knee! And a third, dazing Bo and allowing Zack to turn over on top with a pin! ONE! TWO! No! Shaken up, Bo gets back up and swings with a clothesline. Zack weaves underneath though, hooking hold of Bo by the head trying to apply a sleeper. Before he can drop, Bo goes into reverse and crushes Malibu in the turnbuckles to force him off. Bohemoth backs up again and crushes Zack in for a second time. Bo then watches Zack out of the corner, scooping him up and planting him with a Side Slam! ONE! TWO! Kickout! COLE We're seeing much less of a back and forth match between these two so far. This handshake issue has really opened up a more determined side of Bohemoth. Bo backs Zack up into a corner and unloads with a succession of body shots. The referee gets to a count of five and moves Bohemoth back, but the bigman gets right back on Zack with some more body shots seconds later. The Belfast crowd sense trouble for Zack and start to get behind him with chants of "MAL - I - BU!". Bo pays no attention as he whips Zack corner to corner. Following in, he runs right into a raised knee! With Bo dazed, Zack quickly hops up onto the middle rope and jumps off with an axehandle smash... but gets caught by The Meterosexual Monster and trapped in a Bearhug! COLE This does not look good for Zack right now. COACH Not at all. Bohemoth just squeezing the life out of Zack and expending little energy doing it. Even if Zack can get out of this the damage may be done. Drawing on his reserves and the support of the crowd, Malibu starts to feel some energy flowing and tries to fight out. Bo keeps Zack's feet off the mat but drops him after Zack drives his elbows downwards into the side of his neck! Once his feet are down, Zack tries to pry an arm between Bo's. When that doesn't work, he rings the bigman's bell with a double ear clap! Bo wobbles a little, so Zack claps the ears again. And after a third shot, Bo looks weakened. But just as Zack sees hope, Bo scoops him right back off his feet and drives him back first into the turnbuckles, then walks out with the bearhug still applied! COACH Bohemoth with a definate gameplan here tonight. Zack sinks a little as Bo continues to put the squeeze on. Again the crowd try to get behind him, but Zack can't get anything going this time and his arm begins to droop. The referee quickly steps in and checks on Zack, seeing few signs of life and lifts up the left arm... and it drops! COLE Zack is as tough as they come, but when you've got a 284 pounder cutting off your breathing this is the effect it has. Another couple of tightenings of the hold leave Zack almost done. Bohemoth nods his head, as the referee raises the arm up... ...and it drops a second time. COACH One more and it's over! "LET'S GO ZACK!" "LET'S GO ZACK!" "LET'S GO ZACK!" "LET'S GO ZACK!" The fans rally behind The Franchise as the referee gives the signal over to the timekeeper. Up goes the arm once more and Zack continues to slump forwards lifelessly, as the ref lets the arm drop... ...BUT ZACK KEEPS IT UP, HE'S NOT DONE YET!! COLE Zack Malibu, digging deep here. Zack clenches up his fist and drives a right hand into the temple. Bo staggers a little and Zack tries it again. A third fist finally breaks Zack free of the hold and he works out the kinks in his back, before hitting the ropes. Bohemoth shakes off the punches like they were nothing though and scoops Malibu up on the rebound, before drilling him down with a Front Spinebuster that sucks the air out of the entire arena! Cover! ONE! TWO! T-NO! SHOULDER UP! COACH Zack's gonna have to keep on digging. Bo's cutting him off at the pass every time at the moment. COLE I tell you, that win at AngleMania has given Bohemoth so much confidence. We saw the way he dismantled Sly Sommers, now he's controlling Zack in a way he simply couldn't at AngleMania. It's gotta be a confidence thing. Picking Zack back up once more, Bohemoth shoves him back against the ropes. As Zack stumbles back off them the bigman is waiting to greet him with open arms. Before those arms can close around him again, Zack throws an elbow out and catches Bo right on the point of the jaw! Bo staggers for a second while Zack drops to a knee holding his back, unable to follow up any further on his desperation strike. Bo comes back at Zack and hauls him to his feet, connecting with a big right hand that drops Zack in the corner. Stomps force Malibu down against the bottom turnbuckle, a flurry of them before Bohemoth backs off and orders the referee to get out of his way. With Zack still down in the corner, Bo hits the ropes, running down the length of the ring looking for the Facewash. With a little shuffle Zack comes out from the corner just in time and surprises Bo, scything his legs out with a drop toehold as he runs in. Bo falls throat across the middle rope and ends up right where Zack had escaped from, sat up against the bottom turnbuckle. And bad back and all, Zack capitalises as he hits the ropes and lunges into The Meterosexual Monster, hesitating in mid-air as he comes down with a head-snapping dropkick!! COLE Turn about is fair play! Bo goes down, but Zack is slow to capitalize, and the big man rolls to his feet with ease. Targeting Zack once again, he moves towards the popular superstar, only to be lured in by Zack and rocked with a jawbreaker! Bohemoth hobbles, holding the jaw that Zack nearly broke in their Anglemania encounter, and Malibu comes up and does more damage with a trifecta of European uppercuts! With Bo backed against the ropes, Zack whips him to the far side, but makes the mistake of putting his head down. Bo stops short and sets Zack in a standing headscissor, but when he lifts Zack up, the OAOAST Original rolls over his back, into a sunset flip...but then comes up holding the legs, going for a Figure Four Leglock...but just before he can cinch the hold in, Bo reaches up and cradles him with a small package! ONE! TWO! TH-NO! COACH Phew! That was one hell of a back and forth right there! COLE Zack is fired up, but he's got to watch his comebacks...he's got to remember that Bo has done a lot of damage to that back, and one false move could be his downfall! Both men come up to their feet, and Zack strikes first with an overhand chop to the chest, then throws Bo into the corner where he opens fire again with a flurry of open hand strikes before sending Bo to the opposite corner and following with a running knee that rocks the big man! Zack then backs up and measures Bo up before charging in a second time, this time striking with a corner splash, and after that connects, he shifts Bo up onto the top turnbuckle! Zack then climbs up onto the middle rope and drills a few hard rights into Bo's forehead, then climbs up onto the third rope and locking Bo in a front facelock. Zack lifts, but a combination of the weak back and Bo's resilience factors in, and Bo won't go! With the crowd egging him on, Zack delivers a pair of punches to stun Bo and then try again, but as he tries to lift Bo stands himself up on the top rope, lifts Zack off his feet...AND LEAPS OFF WITH A FLYING SPINEBUSTER THAT SENDS ZACK INTO SHOCK~! COACH YO~! COLE What a move! Look at Zack, Coach! Look at him shaking! Malibu quivers on the mat, hollering in agony as the shock has set in, and his back is even worse for wear now. Bo lay with his face buried in the mat, no doubt happy with the turning of the tide once again in this contest. He pushes up off the canvas and crawls over to Malibu, who is aching, and rolls him onto his back, hooking a leg! ONE! TWO! THRE-NO! NO! ZACK GETS A SHOULDER UP! The crowd goes spastic, as Malibu, albeit at the last second, escaped defeat after that high impact manuever. Bo comes up off the canvas, bringing Zack up with him and scooping him up into his arms. Bo scowls as he holds Zack horizontally, then spins him outward into THE EROTIC AWAKENING OF B~!...but Zack manages to slide out in mid-move and hit a quick Russian legsweep to take Bo off his game! Zack then scrambles to his feet and springs off the middle rope, hitting Bohemoth with an Asai moonsault! Zack then rolls off of him and delivers a kneedrop to the forehead! As Bo stings from the blow, Zack picks him up and quickly hits an inverted atomic drop, then spins him around and hits a back suplex, dumping the big man back on the canvas! Zack grits his teeth as he sits up, he himself reeling from his own offense due to the punishment his back has taken. He comes up off the canvas and drags Bo closer to the corner, then exits the ring, drawing cheers from the anticipating crowd, waiting for his next move. Zack climbs up onto the top rope, and with Bo not stirring he leaps off, sailing through the air with legs kicked out, dropping across Bo's throat with his patented flying legdrop! After landing, Zack again quivers in pain, the surge of pain from the landing shooting up his spine, but he forces himself to suck it up as he rolls onto his stomach and drapes one arm over Bo's chest and sloppily hooks a leg with the other! ONE! TWO! TH-NO! NO! Bo shoots a shoulder up at the last second! COLE They are fighting tooth and nail, trading falls, desperate for victory. Zack Malibu is hurting a bit more than his opponent, and much of that in the last few minutes has come due to his own actions! COACH Just like you have to spend money to make money, sometimes you've got to suffer to make others suffer! Zack leads Bo to his feet and goes to whip Bo into the corner, but Bo counters, and shoots Zack in...but Zack leaps onto the turnbuckles and up and over Bo as he charges in...then rapidly delivers a Zack Attack II to Bo's back as he stops himself short against the corner! Bo crumbles over the turnbuckles, but is led out by Zack, who manages to carry him over with a release German suplex! COLE Right there, note that Zack didn't hang on for the chain of suplexes! He knows he's got limitations now, and if Bo can take advantage of that weakness once again, that could spell the end for everyone's favorite prep! Zack gets up and heads for the ropes as Bo recovers, and brings his knee up for the original version of his trademark Zack Attack...but Bo pulls his head out of the way of Zack's knee! Zack stops his momentum before he sails over the ropes, and when he turns around he drops low and dodges a charging Bo, letting him sail over the top rope! Bo holds onto the top rope as he goes over, and comes up on the apron just as Zack pulls himself up! Malibu goes for a right hand, but Bo grabs his wrist and holds his arm as he comes around with a hard slap with his own right hand! Zack stumbles back, and Bo propels himself back into the ring with a slingshot shoulderblock! As groggy as they are, both men rise up from the mat once again, and Bo quickly snatches Zack and sets him up for a powerbomb...but gets backdropped over, which does no favors for Zack's back! Falling to one knee, Malibu winces before coming up and rushing the ropes, nailing Bo just as he stands with a leaping lariat! Zack then hits the other side and comes off once again with a second leaping lariat, dropping Bo yet again! Malibu waves his hands to work the crowd up, and as the sweat drips from his forehead he braces himself, eyeing Bo with a gleam in his eye that he's ready to end things here and now. Bo comes up off the canvas, and just as he does Zack zooms forward, sending a SCHOOL'S OUT headed right towards his jaw...but Bo sidesteps the superkick and quickly takes Zack and tosses him overhead with a release belly to belly suplex! COACH If there was a Prep Toss in the Olympic Games, I'd sign that man up, stat! Bo hovers over Zack, who is sprawled out on the canvas, and snickers before pulling him up to his feet. Trapping him in a front facelock, Bo lifts Zack upside down, stalling before dropping him with a suplex...but Malibu shows signs of life, as he kicks his legs in an effort to shift the weight and fall out of the move! Malibu's counter is successful, and he quickly spins Bo around, hits an inverted atomic drop, then a Northern Lights suplex that pins the big man's shoulders to the canvas! ONE! TWO! THRE-NO! NO! Bo escapes! COLE Another quick turn of events, bringing things back into Zack's favor, and another narrow escape from defeat for Bohemoth! COACH It's Anglemania quality right here on HeldDOWN~! Zack, again hurting because of having to bridge during that move, gets to his feet. Sore and battered, Zack brings Bo up, but gets shoved into the ropes, only to rebound right into a bearhug! Bo wrenches his thick arms around Zack's torso, trying to squeeze the life out of him and drain him of what little energy his has left...but a few quick headbutts drive Bo away, leaving him prone for Zack to hook him with an ANGLE SLA-NO! ZACK CAN'T LIFT HIM! ZACK CAN'T GET HIM UP! Zack again falls to one knee, tending to his back, while Bo wipes the sweat off his brow and comes forward, like a shark that smells blood...RIGHT INTO A SCHOOL'S OUT FROM ZACK MALIBU~! COLE He reeled him in! COACH Was he faking? He couldn't have been faking this whole time! COLE I don't know about faking it, Coach, but he certainly used that injury to set up an opening! Bo flops to the canvas, and Zack collapses on top of him, cradling the leg while the referee does his duty, all to the delight of the rabid crowd! ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! COLE HE DID IT! ZACK MALIBU DID IT! COACH I feel like I need a cold shower after that match! Those two took their feud to the next level, and look the at the fans applauding here, they're lovin' this! Many fans are on their feet, and those who aren't soon are, all roaring over the efforts of these two superstars tonight. As "Getting Away With Murder" booms over the PA to signify victory, Zack is helped up by the referee, who does one better and raises Zack's arm in the air, drawing an even louder response. COLE Give that man credit, fighting tooth and nail to the very end, and using that quick thinking to get a measure of revenge for Bo's disrespect at Anglemania. Zack moves over to the corner, leaning against the turnbuckles and catching his breath, while Bo rolls on the canvas. The referee checks on the big man, but as Bo slowly emerges from off the sweat stained canvas, he's nudged away, even when Bo nearly falls back over, still aching from the effects of that superkick. Bo shakes the cobwebs off, and when he does, he's face to face with Zack, who hobbles to center ring, staring his sometimes friend, sometimes foe dead in the eye. The two men lock gazes, and it's Zack who is the bigger man tonight, as he extends a hand to Bo once again, drawing a wild cheer from the crowd, as well as a chant. "SHAKE HIS HAND!" "SHAKE HIS HAND!" "SHAKE HIS HAND!" Bo looks into the crowd, and into the hard camera, as if to ask the home viewers what to do. He turns back to Zack and inches closer, his hand ready to shake Zack's...and then he wipes the sweat from his brow and flicks it in Zack's face before turning to leave! COLE Oh COME ON! Zack, incensed, goes and spins Bo around, and Bo shoves Zack down hard in retaliation! The referee immediately comes between the two before this can break down and orders Bo to the back, while Zack comes back to his feet, not only sore but now incredibly PO'd. COACH He dissed him again, Mikey Cole! COLE I don't get it...what is Bohemoth's deal with not wanting to respectully admit that Zack was the better man? COACH He wouldn't shake Zack's hand after the match that he won, so why would he do it after the one that he lost!? The crowd has gone from cheers to boos now, as Bo goes up the aisle, undaunted by the crowds thoughts of him at this moment. The big man doesn't even bother to turn and look back at the ring, simply disappearing behind the curtain, and leaving Zack alone in the ring, once again rejected, even in victory. FADE OUT.

The power of a tripod mounted Siclopse lets us see Ned Blanchard lounging on a leather chair, clad in black slacks, and a navy and white stripped polo shirt. He sips on a glass of scotch, as he watches Molly sit behind a desk navigating a website on her Macbook Pro. Poor, poor, Molly and her low budget wardrobe, sees her wear the same khaki pants and dark green polo shirt she always does. However, her makeup is done exceedingly well, no doubt the product of spending the past couple of weeks hanging around Krista. Because Molly's behind the computer and not the camera, we've got no fancy camera tricks tonight! MOLLY Ned, would you like to tell the ever so lovely viewing audience what it is we're doing? NED Heck yeah. We're getting our cyberspace pimp on as only two members of The Enterprise can possibly do. MOLLY We're the only ones with wireless internet connections. NED Taking the Handsome Hustler's hustle from the freeway to the highway, the information superhighway that is. So to speak. And Miss Molly has signed your man up for one of those dating sites. Adult friend finder? MOLLY How horribly inaccurate! Adult Friend Finder is the farthest thing from a dating site. Its a “quick route to a fourogy with a trucker and two lonely soccer moms” site. We're on the classy sophistication of eharmony.com, my good man. NED This site cost money, though. MOLLY Yes, I believe its about thirty American dollars per month. NED Jesus Christ in a taxi cab! Man, BOSS just found an autographed copy of Nas 'verbal intercourse on Amazon for twenty two bucks! MOLLY Sexual intercouse>verbal intercourse. NED Hot damn! The intern learns fast! MOLLY Off we go to the races! Let's create a magically wonderful profile for you. NED I don't want no Indian girls. None, not a one, no thank you, please don't come. Hindu...what have you. And its not being racial...no...not at all really. No Pat Buchanan. But, no Indian girls. And its not racist, because Mister Denzel Washington is one of my favorite actors. He and Morgan Freeman. MOLLY No coloreds allowed to drink at this water fountain! No coloreds allowed on the front of this bus! No coloreds allowed to eat at the same restaurants at whites, even though they can fight the white man's war. But its not being racial so..I just don't really like them is all. But its not racial because I named my dog Potier, after Mister Sidney Potier. My favorite actor, and my secret gay fantasy. NED They smell frankly. The Indians. Okay, there it is. Out in the open. They smell. I walk into any corner store in Anytown, Anystate, America, I want my Lays, my Mountain Dew, my USA Today because I like the pretty graphs they have, and what do I get? An entire race of people that smells like they've been rolling in Ganesh's monster turds. They smell like a oil tanker. Fisherman's wharf, actually. MOLLY Fisherman's wharf! NED So..and its not racial. Not at all. Because I read a story about an Iraqi man who killed his daughter, brutally beat her at that, because she was dating a British soldier. So, who's racist in this picture? Me, who likes a chick dressed to the nines with good hygiene or the Iraqi who just kills his daughter because she's shagging a Brit? Molly turns her shocked face to the Siclopse. MOLLY My, how disgustingly ignorant! You are aware Iraqis and Indians aren't the same thing. NED In a way they are, though. MOLLY ( typing in Ned's profile and reading what she writes) Seeking single white protestant female, hood and robe optional, Nazi youth membership preferred, must have experience in cross burning. NED My daughter is a Jew. So...not racial against Jews either. No Mel Gibson. MOLLY Hobbies? BLANCHARD Put reading. MOLLY Shall I put masturbating? NED Put reading, damn it! MOLLY (typing) Reading the rules of entry for sixteenth annual wank-a-thon. NED I read books, Molly! Molly looks at the siclopse in skepticism. MOLLY On what? I'm so terribly curious! NED The arts. The sciences. Wars. Uh....Animals. Molly looks into the Siclopse in comical disbelief. MOLLY Animals, truly? You've read Horton Heard and Cat In The Hat. I offer you esteemed congratulations. If McCain gets elected can the United States look forward to you as poet Laurette? NED I went to college, Molly. Obviously, I'm a man of education and class, I did after all attend Cal State LA. MOLLY I went to Princeton. NED Alright, if you're going to insult me. MOLLY Insulting you? My word, no! I thought we were sharing. NED Gimme a kiss, and that'll make things semi cool between us. MOLLY I'm not going to kiss you, old man. NED Old man! There are plenty of tiny nagging foibles and follies I could call you out on. MOLLY Not today. You can't say a single disparaging word about me today. NED Why? Its not like its your birthday. MOLLY Um...yes, it is my 25th birthday. LOL! AWKWARD SILENCE! NED There's no graceful maneuvering out of this fuck up is there? There's gotta be something around here that doubles as a gift. (Ned scrounges into his pocket) Um, crap. Peanuts from the airplane? They've been smashed underneath my ass for ten hours, but... MOLLY Terribly allergic! Save the planters for Mackenzie's birthday, s'il vous plait. My gifts are spoken for. Krista sent me two dozen of the most absolutely lovely Pink Sapphire roses you'll never lay your eyes on. NED Krista? Krista Isadora Duncan? If this doesn't result in you two making out, while I fondle myself while watching from the crack in the door, I'm going to be seriously pissed off. I unknowingly covered her sapphic tendencies for years, and want to hear what my GLAAD image award worthy actions got me for my twenty ninth birthday? Ned digs through his suitcase and pulls out an innocent looking birthday card. NED Shaking my head at this crap. Ned flips open the card, and suddenly the less then innocent music plays. I kissed a girl, won't change the world But I'm so glad I kissed a girl (weren't the first time) I kissed a girl (won't be the last time) I kissed a girl I kissed a girl NED (slamming the card shut) Happy birthday, Handsome Hustler. You've wasted thousands of dollars romancing a lesbian for months. Good life experience to take into your thirties. No? MOLLY I believe a card that sings “In the Matter of Duncan, Krista Vs Blanchard, Ned the Commissioner of Social Service under Article 495of the Family Court Act, hereby orders Blanchard, Ned to pay a monthly support of a monetary fee that shall not exceed eight thousand dollars” would be quite a bit worse for you now! NED Let's get back to the eharmony sluts. Don't set me up with any smart girls. The type to try to find the Pythagorean therom of an orgasm. I'd rather nail a dumb fatty, then a smart hottie. Real talk and Reel talk. Shawty wanna thug Bottles in the club Shawty wanna hump You know I like to touch your lovely lady lumps Shawty wanna thug Bottles in the club Shawty wanna hump You know I like to touch your lovely lady lumps NED Oh, man, the sluts are blowin up my cell. One of my girls must be thirsty for their man. Hold on real quick, these babes are insatiable. Ned flicks open his phone. NED You're online with the Ned man, speak to me, baby. GIRL Daddy! NED Damn right I'm yo daddy! GIRL Yeah, that's why you pay my mother a big fat check every month. NED Maya?! MAYA Yeah, its me, dad. All cell phones have caller ID, there's no excuse for this to happen a sixth time! MOLLY Ned Blanchard, once again barely missing out on the father of the year award. NED Hi, Maya, how are you? What's going on back in LA? MAYA I have a problem! NED Its not a problem with your girly parts is it? Because, that's not really an area I like to visit. (to siclopse) Hold on it is an area like to visit, because I'm a pure red blooded man, I've never come off even the slightest bit queer. Not once. No Elton John. But I don't want to visit there in the way she means. MAYA Dad, the problem is with Jade. NED Well...Jade is Krista's daughter....so, where's Krista? JADE She's at a photoshoot for Vogue magazine. NED (very excited) A nude photoshoot?! MAYA Why would that matter? NED Well...uh...obviously...its cold in those studios, and if she's naked all day, then she may catch cold, so I was going to bring her some chicken soup when I get into town. Nothing more. MOLLY Brilliant cover by the smoothest operator in the OAOAST! MAYA Jade is really bothering me now! My friend Caitlin got SAW II from Netflix today, and she brought it over, and her dad, he was one of the producers it, says its cool if she watches it. But, Jade's being such a jerk, she says its too bloody and gross for me. NED No one's censoring what my kid watches. Alright, nobody. Not a single person. And you give that message to Jade, and you tell her that's a dose of reel talk from one half of the Beverly Hills Blonds. You wanna watch SAW. I say watch it, I say watch all three or four SAWs. Twice. MOLLY (sarcastically) Good heavens, every adolescent should be watching movies packed with gratuitous, graphic, horrific, inhumane acts of terror and violence! MAYA And she's not mom, she wasn't even my sister until three months ago. Its very annoying when she's always trying to tell me what to do and what not to do. Mom leaves her in charge, but I'm smarter then her, so why should I listen to her? NED You shouldn't. Frankly. You're spot on. Since when does Jade Rodez, control Maya Duncan-Blanchard? Since never. This life is about independence, and doing your own thing, your way. That's the greatest lesson I can teach you. If you wanna watch SAW, do it. If you wanna jump on the bed when Krista's not around, more power to you. If you want to fly the swasitka... MOLLY Ned, how awfully awful, she's Jewish! NED Then you wouldn't do that, even if Jade told you had to fly one. MAYA She's nice sometimes, and she's not a real mean person. And we had fun going miniature golf this weekend with mom for mother's day, and I taught her how to surf and she's not that bad. So, I dunno. But... NED But, she needs to stay in her lane. Bottom line. And if she comes over into your lane, well...you gotta deal with that how it gotta get dealt with. Reel talk once again. And, I'm gonna do you a favor, as your father and impart some of my hard earned wisdom on Jade. You and I were suppose to spend some time together this weekend when I got back to LA. Scratch that, and tell Jade, I'm extending the olive branch, and inviting her to an evening at my beach front condo in Manhattan Beach. Get to know the father of her baby sis. MAYA You want me to get you a jumpoff? NED Ju...ju..jumpoff? Where did you learn that?! MAYA I watch Gossip Girl! NED Hey, just deliver the invite. I gotta go. MAYA Why? NED Buildings on fire. Bye! Ned quickly hangs up the phone. NED And again, not racial because Nelson Mandela is my personal hero. Molly gives one last hilariously appalled look into the camera before we return to sofa central. COLE Folks, you can look forward to Krista's return to the OAOAST ring next- COACH Those legs, those legs, those long sexy legs. COLE Week. But, don't forget that you can also check out photos, videos, and journal entries from all our superstars from our European Vacation on OAOAST.com. Videos include matches taped before the show, matches from our non televised events, as well interviews with our fans all across Europe! Only at OAOAST.com! LATER ON JOCK'S DICK SERVED A WHOLE LUNCHEON. CASH'S DICK LOOKS LIKE A MUNCHKIN. JOCK MULLIGAN VS EMT TIM CASH LATER BUT COMING UP NEXT AN ANGLEMANIA REMATCH ZACK MALIBU. BOHEMOTH. 2. NEXT

Brit Black's Jet Black Heart and the splendid grace of Belfast's city hall carry us back to live action, where the deep, powerful purple colour scheme floods the arena and the screen. Bad Case of Loving You plays, and the Love Doctors make their way to the ring, to a nice pop. COLE Tag team titles on the line next! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the OAOAST World tag team championship! Making their way to the ring, the challengers, at a total combined weight of 436 pounds...Dr. Max Anderson and Dr. Steven Pigley...THE LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVE DOCTORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! COLE Big opportunity for the Love Doctors, not often you'll see these guys in a position to win the tag team titles, but here they are! The Docs climb into the ring, and remove their coats, as Shine by Collective Soul plays, and Team Heyross makes their way out, getting a big pop. COLE Let's go back to the ring! BUFFER Their opponents...at a total combined weight of 485 pounds...they are the OAOAST World tag team champions...Charlie Moss and Quentin Benjamin...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! COLE Should be a very exciting matchup here, very similar styles, as both teams can wrestle on the mat and take to the air! Team Heyross poses with their belts, then hand them to the referee, who raises them up and calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* Benjamin starts off with Pigley, and the two tie up. Benjamin backs Pigley into the ropes, then the two roll on the ropes into a corner, where Benjamin ends up on top, then breaks clean at the behest of the referee. Pigley moves in again, and the two tie up again, with Pigley grabbng a side headlock. Benjamin backs Pigley into the ropes, and shoves him across. Benjamin drops down, then leapfrogs Pigley, but puts his head down, and Pigley delivers a kick! COLE Mistake there by Quentin Benjamin, putting his head down! Pigley attempts a scoop slam, but Benjamin slips behind, and attempts a reverse sunset, which Pigley blocks by hooking the ropes. Pigley then charges Benjamin, who leapfrogs him, then drops down, then leapfrogs again, before catching Pigley with a high dropkick! COLE Nice dropkick, as the action fast and furious so far in this one! Benjamin covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Benjamin wrings the arm of Pigley, but Pigley reverses. Benjamin reverses back, and tags in Moss. Team Heyross whips Pigley into the ropes, and catch him with a double hiptoss! They then catch Anderson with the same move! The Docs roll out and regroup briefly, then Anderson tags in to face Moss. COACH Now it's Moss against Dr. Max Anderson! Moss and Anderson circle the ring, then move in to tie up, but Anderson delivers a foot to the gut, then hammers on the back of Moss. He picks up Moss and whips him across, but Moss comes back with a sunset flip attempt! COLE Moss going for a pinfall here! Anderson attempts to punch Moss, but Moss moves, and Anderson's hand strikes the mat! Moss then comes from behind, and executes a German suplex! 1... 2... Kickout! Moss picks up Anderson, and executes a side headlock. Anderson backs him into the ropes, where he blind tags Pigley. He shoves Moss across, then drops down, and Moss comes back right into a spinning wheel kick from Pigley! COACH Whoa, nice move there from the Docs! COLE A big move, as the challengers look to have taken control here! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Pigley hammers away on Moss, then whips him into the ropes, and catches him with a flying back elbow! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Anderson tags back in, and delivers some rights before whipping Moss across, and catching him with an ANDERSON SPINEBUSTER~! COLE Could that be the move? 1... 2... Kickout! Pigley tags back in, and sets up a suplex...but Moss reverses to a small package! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE And Pigley almost got caught right there! Pigley recovers and delivers right hands, then executes a Northern Lights suplex! 1... 2... Kickout! Anderson tags back in, and climbs to the top rope. COLE And Dr. Max Anderson perhaps looking to perform a little shock therapy! Anderson gets his balance, and comes off for the SHOCK THERAPY~!!!!!11111...but Moss rolls out of the way! COLE But nobody home! COACH Moss should make a tag right here! Moss slowly crawls over to his corner, and makes the tag! COLE And there's the tag! Tags were made on both sides, as Benjamin gets the better of a slugfest with Pigley, then whips him across, and catches him with a spinning wheel kick! Cover... 1... 2... Anderson tries to save with an elbow, but Benjamin moves, and Pigley takes the move! COLE He elbowed his own partner! Team Heyross catches Anderson with a double superkick, then wait on the dazed Pigley, and floor him with the DOUBLE GOOZLE~!!! COLE And Team Heyross is setting it up! Moss picks up Pigley, and sets him on his shoulders as Benjamin climbs to the top, for the SUPER ROCKER DROPPER~!!!!!11111 COLE Put it in the books! 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* BUFFER The winners of the match...and STILL OAOAST World tag team champions...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! COLE Very impressive win for Team Heyross, as they prepare to defend against Thunderkid and Reject at School's Out! And folks make sure to be a television set that night because the OAOAST is kicking summer off big! Right now stay tuned for more HD. NEXT WEEK THE OAOAST IS BACK ON AMERICAN SOIL AND KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN RETURNS TO THE RING THANKS CONTRACTUAL OBLIGATIONS! NEXT WEEK

Belfast's premier tourist destination, Belfast Castle with its numeros visotors walking amongst its lands brings us back to HeldDOWN with 30 Seconds To Mars- A beautiful lie With the show ongoing in the arena, we find ourself backstage with Maggie Nerdly going through a piece to camera in front of the OAOAST interview backdrop. Already on Take 3 thanks to a faulty piece of lighting equipment and Jumbo not-so helpfully asking her for help with his crossword puzzle halfway through her piece, Maggie waits around while the production guys get everything set up again. On the sidelines watching is Leon Rodez, apparantly waiting to get a word. As soon as Maggie notices Leon though she asks for a second and skips over to him, giving him an enthusiastic peck on the cheek. LEON Wow, what was that for? MAGGIE For being the cutest boyfriend in the world of course! (pecks Leon again) So, what's that happy-haps, my chappy-chap? LEON Eh, not much. MAGGIE Coolio. Listen, just lemme get this bit done and dusted and we'll go grab something to eat. I feel like we haven't had any... 'alone time' in forever, know what I mean? LEON Yeah I do. That'd be great actually, turns out I needed to talk to you about something. Looking intrigued, Maggie smiles and waves goodbye to her boyfriend before walking all of four feet back in front of camera to finish off her piece. Leon waves back, a little absent-mindedly. MAGGIE We ready boys? ..... HEY, it's your number one hook-up one more time, Maggie Nerdly getting ready for the AfterParty! This week we're finding out what really makes my main man T-Bod tick as he gives ya'll the types to get that perfect beach bod' and beyond. Plus we're gonna be learning how to Riverdance with D*LUX and Nat Black tries to convert us to his idea of real sport with the Chelsea soccer team. Sure they ain't no EPL champs, but they're okay. All that on the Afterparty, OAOAST.com! Holding her final pose for a couple of extra seconds just incase, Maggie gives a quick thumbs up before skipping back off to Leon. MAGGIE (mimes dunking a basketball) Nailed it. Oh yeah. Sooo, care to settle my intrigue? LEON It's nothing really. It's just Melody's not been the same since what happened in Milan... Maggie sighs and rolls her eyes. LEON ...and she clams up every time I try asking her about this 'Malaysia'. So, I just wondered what can you tell me really. What she's doing here. What her problem is with Melody. Why Melody's so worried. Anything you think'd help. MAGGIE Yeah. Uh, turns out I can't make our meal after all. LEON Please? Maggie rolls her eyes again. MAGGIE Fine. Malaysia's... she's real big. You probably noticed that already. But, that's pretty much her 'thing'. She'd always bully us and acted like she thought she could kick all our asses combined. Just because she was 50 pounds bigger, half a foot taller and could kick all our asses combined. Can you believe that? LEON Why would she do that though? I mean, I know you Nerdlys are dysfunctional, but still. MAGGIE Hmm. There are many theories amongst our fair family. It could be a chemical imbalance related to her abdonormal size. Or, it could be because we all kinda used to tease her about it. Could have been the calling her King-Kong. Or Godzilla. Or Optimus Prime. Never really got that one. It could also have been Molly submitting that wildlife video about her in video production class. Could have been any number of things really. Point is, she doesn't like the rest of us Nerdlys too much. She just stayed down in our gym in the basement. Which, as a long-time friend of Melvin and Marvin's, you'll understand lead to much isolation. Nerds can be so cruel sometimes. Oh, and she's got this weird thing for getting off on making people feel pain too. Anything else? LEON That probably covers it, thanks. MAGGIE Great. So I'll see you around I guess. Smiling, Leon wraps an arm around the suddenly less affectionate Maggie. LEON We'll catch up soon, I promise. I've just got to do something first. MAGGIE Don't sweat it. I've gotta get to that Afterparty anyway. LEON It's a fictitious party Mags. MAGGIE I know. But I've still gotta do a couple of re-takes for the show. Rock n' roll! Chuckling to himself, Leon gives Maggie a peck on the cheek before walking off, leaving the Women's Champion behind with arms folded and a slight pout on. MAGGIE Hey, any of you camera dudes fancy getting smashed on margaritas once we're done? COLE Hmmmm...lots of intrigue back at the Afterparty set! But, what do you think Leon meant by having something to take care of first? COACH Zack's boots looked a little scruffy earlier today, so Leon's gotta give em a through shining. And if he does a good job, Zack'll let him eat the leftovers from his dinner plate out the garbage. Good doggy! COLE You take advantage of the fact that Leon never gets angry. Shameful. COMING UP NEXT ***ONE AND ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES*** LOVE DOCTORS VS TEAM HEYROSS 1ST TIME EVER (I AM A GENIUS!) NEXT

well book, my butterflies, book!