Patty O'Green

As Be Your Own Pet's The Kelly Affair plays, we're journeyed past the Arc De Triumphe and the Champs Elyssyes by low camera angles that are constantly obscured by the hustle of pedestrian traffic. The monumental sights are our centerpiece images for no more then fifteen seconds before returning to live action. Je t'adore, je t'adore... Girls, Girls, Girls hits, and pink smoke and strobes fill the entryway as "After Hours" Felix Stutter walks through, followed by Reggie Lamont. COLE Tag team action up next here on HeldDOWN~! Team Heyross in their first title defense! Let's go to the ring! Ring Announcer Mesdames et Messieurs, le texte suivant est prévu pour contester une chute, et il appartient à l'équipe OAOAST championnats du monde tag! La route qui mène à l'anneau, à un poids combiné de deux cents kilos ... dix-sept introduisant d'abord, originaire de Laguna Beach, en Californie...REGGIE LAMONT! *crowd boos* Ring Announcer Sa balise équipe partenaire, originaire de San Jose, en Californie ... "APRèS LES HEURES" FELIX STRUTTER! Strutter slides into the ring, and poses on the buckles, to boos, while Lamont steps in and starts shadow boxing. Strutter removes his garb, as Shine by Collective Soul hits and Team Heyross make their way through the curtains, to the cheers of the crowd. COLE And the fans in Paris on their feet for the new tag team champions! Ring Announcer Leurs opposants ... à un poids combiné de deux cent vingt kilos ... ils sont les NOUVEAU OAOAST monde balise équipe les champions ... de l'équipe de CHARLIE MOUSSE et QUENTIN BENJAMIN, HEYROSS éQUIPE! COLE The announcements from our French ring announcer, for the World tag team champions! It's been a long wait for Team Heyross, but they finally reached the top of the mountain at AngleMania VII! Team Heyross shows their belts off to the crowd, then hands them to the referee. Moss and Lamont step to the outside, as the referee raises the belts in the air. *DING DING DING* COLE And we're underway! Benjamin and Strutter circle the ring, and move in for the tie up. Strutter quickly catches Benjain with a kick to the gut, and grabs a side headlock. Benjamin backs Strutter into the ropes, then shoves him across. He drops down, then goes for a dropkick, but Strutter hooks the ropes, and Benjamin crashes into the mat! COLE And a nice counter there by Felix Strutter, a two-time Heartland champion, as well as a former International World champion! Strutter backs Benjamin into a corner, and drives shoulders into the midsection. He whips Benjamin across hard, then grabs him by the arm on the way out and whips him across again, but this time, Benjamin slingshots over the top! However, Strutter manages to catch him momentarily, before Benjamin slips behind the back, and attempts a reverse sunset, which is blocked by Strutter grabbing the ropes. COLE Expect fast and furious action here, two of the premier high-flyers in the business! Strutter charges Benjamin, who leapfrogs, then drops down, then leapfrogs again, and catches Strutter with a flying clothesline! Benjamin delivers rights to Strutter on the mat, then wrings the arm, but Strutter goes to the eyes. COACH There's a nice wrestling counter! COLE ;rolleyes: Strutter follows with forearm uppercuts, backing Benjamin into the ropes, then goes for a big right hand, but Benjamin ducks, and hammers Felix on the ropes, then tags in Moss. COLE First tag of the match, and Charlie Moss in! Moss and Benjamin whip Strutter across, and catch him with a double hiptoss! Moss follows by scoop-slamming Benjamin on top of Strutter! COLE Look at that teamwork! Lamont climbs in, and floors Moss with a bicycle kick, then, without missing a beat, drills Benjamin with a spinning reverse thrust kick! COLE And look at Reggie Lamont! What a sequence! Lamont raises his arms in the air, drawing boos, then grabs Strutter, and whips him towards both Team Heyross members. Strutter tries a double clothesline, but Team Heyross ducks, and sends him to the outside with a double superkick! Lamont tries one of his own, and meets the same fate! COLE But a great recovery by the champs, and Felix and Reggie are out to regroup! After a brief strategy session, Lamont steps into the ring, met by Charlie Moss. They move in for the tieup, but Lamont drives a knee into the gut, then delivers a European uppercut, followed by a headbutt, sending Moss to the mat. COLE Reggie Lamont getting the best of the slugfest, which is to be expected. COACH That's what Reggie does, Cole, he's not out here to wrestle, he's out here to punish people! Lamont stomps away on Moss, who rolls to the apron. Lamont delivers right hands, but Moss returns a few, then slides back in underneath the legs of Lamont! COLE But look at this! Moss delivers right hands, then attempts an Irish whip. Lamont reverses, but puts his head down, and Moss goes for a sunset flip! Lamont blocks, then tries for a right hand, but Moss moves, and Lamont punches the mat! COLE And nobody home for Reggie Lamont! Moss backs into the ropes, and goes for a flying bodypress, but Lamont catches him! COLE And look at this! Charlie Moss is 250 pounds! Benjamin comes off the top with a MISSILE DROPKICK, the end result being Moss on top of Lamont! 1... 2... Kickout! Moss wrings the arm, but Lamont quickly counters with a headbutt, then sets him up for a powerbomb. He gets him up, but Moss delivers right hands. Benjamin tries to come in, but is intercepted by the referee, as Strutter sneaks in, grabs Moss by the hair, and jumps over the top rope, guillotining Moss on the top rope as he still sat on Lamont's shoulders! COACH WOW! What a move by Reggie and Felix! We could have new champs in a hurry, Cole! Strutter poses for the fans on the outside, drawing boos. In the ring, Lamont lifts Moss into the air, into a PRESS SLAM~! COLE And once again Reggie Lamont showing off the power advantage! Lamont tosses Moss down to the mat, then takes a cheap shot at Benjamin on the apron. COACH And Lamont drawing Benjamin into the ring right there, smart move! Lamont tosses Moss into the corner, where Strutter chokes him with the tag rope! COLE And now illegal activities going on in the corner! COACH "Illegal activities"... What's he doing, soliciting a French maid prostitute over there? Relax, it's just a little tag rope. COLE It's illegal in the boundaries of professional wrestling! Strutter tags in, and whips moss across the ring. Moss ducks a clothesline, and catches Strutter with a flying bodypress! 1... 2... Kickout! Strutter quickly pounces on Moss, then whips him hard into a corner, causing Moss to drop to his knees holding his back. Strutter then picks up Moss, and executes a backbreaker! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Lamont tags in, and whips Moss across, catching him in a BEARHUG~! COACH And they've targeted a body part now, they're working over that back of Charlie Moss! COLE Yes indeed, very smart, and Reggie Lamont now with the bearhug applied, trying to squeeze a submission out out of Charlie Moss! Moss fades, and the referee lifts his arm... ONE!!! TWO!!! But Moss holds through on the third lift, then gains some energy, and delivers a right hand! A second! A third! However, Lamont holds on and rams Moss into a corner! COACH And look at that, Reggie just took all those right hands and stayed right on the offensive! This guy is tough! COLE No doubt about it! Lamont whips Moss across, then charges, but Moss gets his foot up! Moss then hops to the second rope, and leaps off, but gets caught in a POWERSLAM~! COACH Mos should have tagged right there! COLE And this could be it right here, but now Lamont making a mistake, and not covering! Lamont lifts up Moss, and grabs him in a front facelock. COACH Uh-oh, he's looking for the finish now! Lamont tries to lift Moss in a suplex, but Moss blocks once, then blocks again, and lifts Lamont in the air, dropping him on his stomach across the ropes! COLE And NOW, Moss needs to make a tag! Both guys inch to their corner, and tag at approximately the same time! COLE There it is! Benjamin is a HOUSE AFIRE~! as he fires off on Strutter, then whips him across and catches him with a SPINNING WHEEL KICK~! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Benjamin sets up Strutter in the corner, and starts firing off rights, as the crowd counts along! UN!!! DEUX!!! TROIS!!! QUATRE!!! CINQ!!! Benjamin then leaps back and catches the approaching Lamont with a bodypress! COACH Whoa! Benjamin delivers rights on the mat, then jumps up and catches Strutter with more rights. He attempts an Irish whip, which Strutter reverses, but puts his head down, and gets caught in a swinging neckbreaker! Cover.. 1... 2... NO! Strutter gets the shoulder up! Benjamin and Moss catch Lamont with a double dropkick, sending him to the outside! They then converge on Strutter, and flatten him with the DOUBLE GOOZLE~! COLE And they're setting up Felix! Moss then sets up Felix, and lifts him for a Razor's Edge! COACH What's this? Benjamin runs to the ropes, as Moss raises Felix as high as he can, then leaps high in the air, and brings him down with a NECKBREAKER as Moss sits out! COACH Wow! COLE And there's a new one from the champs! 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COLE And it retains the titles! Ring announcer Mesdames et Messieurs, les gagnants du match ... et encore OAOAST monde tag équipe de champions ... HEYROSS éQUIPE! COLE Just when you think they've done it all, they pull that move out of the books! Team Heyross with an impressive showing in their first title defense! Right now, our broadcast colleague Josh Matthews is standing by with another competitor in the #1 Contender's Tournament, Todd Cortez. Josh?

Oh snap! Did they reban AS??!

From Paris! Or the Palais omnisports de Paris-Bercy if you wanna get a specific arena

Hmmmm....yes....that gives me an idea. she said hi to me ya know. and she threw in one of those slow, knowing head nods. Hannah Montana respects the swag.

not a big show, so there's plenty of room for things to be edited in if people still have segments and what not

COLE Up next, the ladies of the OAOAST will be in action. Mackenzie DeCenzo, who we saw last week brutally put a beating to Jade Rodez, demanded a rematch in a 'seething rage' after AngleMania VII where she was paid back in kind by Jade. However, not a one on one match this week, as the Women's Champion and our broadcast colleague Maggie Nerdly will see action, as will her sister Molly! COACH First of all, I've never heard Maggie call you her 'colleague'. And I boldly predict we never will. Second, I don't blame Mackenzie one bit. She was humilated in front of thousands of people in her hometown, her friends, her family... COLE Her maids. COACH ...her butlers, everybody! It was supposed to be the finest night of her refined life and thanks to Krista and her demon offspring it turned into a wretched nightmare! Well if Jade thought the beating Mackie dished out last week was something, wait till you see what's gonna happen tonight. Once it's over, Jade's gonna be so beat up, her own mother wouldn't recognised her. Oh... wait, nevermind! HAHAHA! COLE You're a sick sick man and sadly I doubt that's the last time I'll be saying that during the course of this one. Let's send it up to the ring. Walking arm in arm down the red carpet, the women of The Enterprise are bathed in the light of flashbulbs from the numerous photographers around them. Under her left arm, Molly carries the Siclopse to the ring, muttering to herself criticisms of the clichéd photographic methods being used around her. In her khaki pants and powder blue polo shirt, Molly looks noticeably under-dressed compared to her tag team partner. Beside her Mackenzie wears a typically empowering looking business suit to the ring, but shows some consideration to the fact she's going to be competing tonight by swapping the skirt for a very formal pair of short pants, clearly tailored from an expensive suit themselves. I would say she means business, but such shameless puns are below me. The duo get past the cameras and Molly sets up The Siclopse in position outside the ring, while Mackenzie tells Michael Buffer something in no uncertain terms. BUFFER The following tag team contest is set for one fall. On the way to the ring, they represent THE ENTERPRISE! First, fighting out of the Tisch School of Arts at New York University... she is the 2005 and 2006 Canadian documentary filmmaker of the year... MMMOOOOOOLLLLYYYYYY... NNEEEEEERRRDDLLLLYYYYYYY!! And her tag team partner. From Los Angeles, California... "definately NOT San Diego"... but Los Angeles, California... she is the Chief Financial Officer of The Enterprise and a former OAOAST 24/7 Champion... (World = much lolz!) BUFFER ...she is MAAACCKKEEEENNZZIIIIEEEEEEEE... DDEEEE-CCEEEEEENNZZZZZZOOOOOOO!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Mackenzie makes the mistake of posing after her name is called, earning her a louder chorus of boos than even usual. Siclopse all set up, Molly joins her in the ring and together The Enterprise women make a big show of 'warming up' for their match as if they do so every week. COLE Molly Nerdly, the unpaid intern of The Enterprise and I guess her clothing budget speaks volumes for that fact. COACH I'll have you know that's the clothing ensemble of choice for all budding film students. Why? Because Molly wears it and she's the queen of all at Tits School Of Arts! COLE Uh... that would be 'Tisch'. COACH That's what I said. Besides, who are you to question anybody's clothing choice, Queer Eye? Already looking pretty bitter, Mackenzie's mood drops even deeper into the gutter as "Date With The Night" by the Yeah Yeah Yeah's hits. The San Diego crowd erupt with Yeah Yeah Yeahs of their own for Jade Rodez as she marches out, eyes scowling and locked on Mackenzie from the entrance way. BUFFER And the opponents. First, from Grand Rapids, Michigan... JJJAAAAAAAADDEEEEE... RRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZ!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Now, you wanna talk about clothing, why does Jade choose to do her laundry right before every HeldDOWN~! and realise the only clothes she's got left is that tracksuit? Answer me that. You'd think considering her mommy changes her entire wardrobe every week, she'd be able to pass on some old hand-me-downs. Or is even that too much for Neglectant Mother Of The Year Krista Isadora Duncan? Jade marches down the aisle but stops short of actually getting in the ring at a two on one dis-advantage. Green and gold lights suddenly begin to flash at the sight of the entry way, while pillars of smoke spring forth from around the chaotic illumination. "Crushcrushcrush" by Paramore begins to play as Maggie Nerdly skips out from the back and flashes the famous Nerdly RAWK~! Hand signal to the adoring crowd, before showing off the Women's Championship around her waist. As she makes her way down the ramp she slaps hands with the eager fans and slaps Jade on the back, kinda mis-judging her serious mood as she flashes her some RAWK~! BUFFER And her tag team partner. From Edmonton, Alberta Canada... she is the 'bitchin' host of the Afterparty on OAOAST.com and the reigning OAOAST Women's Champion... a member of the fighting Nerdly family, MMMAAAAAAAGGIIIIIIEEEEEEE... NNEEEEEERRRDDLLLLYYYYYYY!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Did Michael Buffer really just say "bitchin'"? COACH Sure. Crazy cracka says it all the time. Entering the ring, Maggie stands in the centre and points her bouquet of flowers to each individual turnbuckle. As her floral arrangement is directed to each corner, a tower of green pyro explodes from it's top turnbuckle, watched unimpressed by Molly and Mackenzie on the outside. Once that's complete, Maggie tosses her bouquet behind her back and into the audience, replacing it in her hands with the Women's Championship which shows throws up over her head, along with another handful of RAWK~! COLE Maggie Nerdly, Women's Champion! And of course, the current girlfriend of Leon Rodez, who just happens to be her tag team partner's broth... uh, uncle. Sorry, force of habit. The OAOAST is one crazy family tree nowadays Coach. The Women's Title is passed to the timekeeper's table and we're ready to go as Jade makes it clear she's going to start for her team. No problem with that, Maggie kicks it out on the apron. Mackenzie and Molly have a little more conversation on their side before deciding on who'll start for them, Mackenzie pulling rank to get her hands on Jade. *DINGDINGDING!* As she enters the ring, Mackie's mouth starts running immediately as she proceeds to call poor Jade every name under the sun. Jade just looks on with a scowl, until finally she's taken enough and thumps Mackenzie across the jaw with an elbow smash! Another! And another! And yet another! Mackenzie reaches out and grabs Jade's hair to stop her strikes. But Jade grabs her own handfuls of hair and the two women tussle around for a bit in a mini cat-fight, before releasing each other with a shove. For a second they both rub their heads in pain, before going right back at each other. Jade telegraphs her lunge though and Mackenzie ducks underneath her out-stretched arms, kneeing Jade in the kidneys to drop her. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH That's smarts. I think Mackie proved last week she's pretty capable when it comes to stepping into the ring. Jade's still at the 'playground scrap' level and with someone as smart as Mackenzie it's just not going to work. Grabbing a handful of hair again, Mackie insults Jade some more before throwing her face-first down into the mat. Jade pushes back up, so Mackie throws her right back down again, ignoring the warnings about hairpulls from the referee. "MA - CKEN - ZIE SUCKS!" "MA - CKEN - ZIE SUCKS!" "MA - CKEN - ZIE SUCKS!" "MA - CKEN - ZIE SUCKS!" Angered at the chants Mackenzie screams out loud that she infact doesn't suck, which may well be true but let's not go there. With the illegitimate Duncan daughter on her knees in front of her, Mackie yanks Jade's head backwards into some hard right hands. She then drags Jade to her feet and leans her back, across an outstretched knee. With a hand across the jaw and one on the leg she then bends Jade into a backbreaker and pushes down to screams of pain. COLE Mackenzie just trying to make an example out of Jade right here. As much as she's enjoying hurting Jade like this, I'm sure part of her is wishing this was Krista as well. COACH Hey, it's the next best thing, her little secret daughter. Win-win. Maggie's reaction of "woah, harsh!" from the apron doesn't do much to help her tag team partner as she's bent in ways the body shouldn't be bent. Jade refuses to give in just yet though. "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" Before she can draw on the support of the San Diego crowd, Jade takes a shot to her exposed midsection. And another. Mackenzie then pushes down again looking for the submission, or just to torture Jade some more, who knows. Seeing enough, Maggie finally enters the ring to try and help out. Unfortunately, Mackie quickly warns the referee and he cuts Maggie off, allowing Molly to sneak into the ring. Up to the middle rope she goes as Mackenzie turns herself back to her own corner. Molly seems a little unsure on the ropes at first, but gets her footing and drops a big elbow to the chest of Jade, dumping her off of Mackenzie's knee! COLE Jade Rodez just got demolished! Out ducks Molly, as Mackenzie makes the cover... 1... 2... NO! COLE A lot of fight in that young woman however. It's in her genes, after all. Mackenzie drags Jade to her feet, shoving her into the Enterprise corner and making the tag to Molly. Out of the ring steps Mackie legally, but not so legal is the handful of the tracksuit pants she holds onto to keep Jade stuck in the corner. Molly meanwhile backs across the ring and comes charging, crushing Jade in the corner with her Box-office Bust!! Let go, Jade slumps to the canvas again as Molly rolls up the sleeves on her polo shirt to show she means business. COLE Even in a match she's participating in, Mackenzie can't help but lend a hand from the outside. COACH She's a very pro-active woman. She ain't one of those raise the kids, wash the dishes, make the samm'iches kinda bitches, she's an indipendent woman, a fine sister doin' it for herself. You have to respect that. Pulled to her feet, Jade is whipped off the ropes by Molly who then telegraphs a back elbow. Badly. Underneath goes Jade, Molly thinking quickly and looking to cut her off with a clothesline. Again Jade is able to duck underneath though and comes back off the ropes with a desperation crossbody... COLE Could have her! 1... 2... Kickout! Realising she needs to make a tag, Jade rushes for her corner... ...and gets SPEARED down by Molly! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jade goes down holding her ribs, Molly earning warm applause from the outside from Mackenzie before being ordered to stay on her opponent. Quickly, the unpaid intern pulls Jade back to her feet and scoops her up, carrying her into the centre of the ring and dropping her with a side slam. COLE Nice execution from Molly. I have to say, I'm quite surprised with Molly thus far, we haven't had any indication that she's much of a professional wrestler up until now but she's holding her own okay. COACH What are you talking about? She's already 1-0 this year! COLE What? COACH She beat Rescue 911, remember! COLE Oh! You mean when Alix Maria Spezia did all the work and Molly just stood there dumbly wondering what it takes to become a paid intern? COACH That's not how I remember it. Tag is made, bringing Mackenzie DeCenzo back into the match. Able to take her sweet time about following up Mackenzie takes a moment to mock the fans for getting behind Jade, reminding them that she's the one flat on her back crying in pain. The San Diego natives don't seem to care though and continue to show their support. Mackie pulls Jade back to her feet and hangs her over the turnbuckles facing out into her supporters. Taking a step back, Mackenzie then plows forward and drives her shoulder into Jade's lower back! COACH That's called the Tramp Stamp, Michael. Very appropriate for our women's division. Flicking her hair back, Mackie smiles an evil smile as he measures Jade up again. After a few words exchanging with Maggie, Mackenzie then charges in again... AND RUNS HERSELF SHOULDER-FIRST INTO THE RINGPOST!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH COLE JADE GOT OUT OF THE WAY! Molly looks on horrified as Mackenzie's arm wraps around the steel post with a thud, already working out in her head how to cut around that footage later. Falling out of the corner Mackie clutches her shoulder and now it's a race to the corner, as both Mackie and Jade look to get the tag to their Nerdly sister of choice. Molly routes Mackenzie on, Maggie still chillin' like an ill'un on the outside but ready for the tag all the same. "MA - GGIE!" "MA - GGIE!" "MA - GGIE!" "MA - GGIE!" Maggie gets behind Maggie by getting a "Maggie" chant going. COLE Could we be about to see the Nerdly sisters going at it? Still holding onto her lower back with one hand, Jade's crawl is slow and painful. Mackenzie still nurses her shoulder but is over to her corner first, getting the tag to Molly. But the film student takes a second too long getting in the ring and she JUST misses Jade before she GETS THE TAG! COLE YES! We are, as here comes Maggie! After so many catty remarks in the past Molly now tries to reason with her sister, but to no avail. Maggie drops her with a double leg takedown and bounces the back of Molly's head repeatedly off the canvas, doing a complete 360 of the ring before finally letting Molly go in order to pull her back up. Irish whip by Maggie, leaping up to catch Molly with a spinning heel kick on the way back. Maggie then takes a quick detour, dropkicking Mackenzie as she tries to get back into the ring to help her Enterprise associate out. Jumping back to her feet, the perky announcer lets out a quick rendition of "Never Gonna Give You Up", before RICK ROLL'ING Molly!! Hook of the leg... 1... 2... Kickout! The Women's Champion waits for Molly to get back up, leaping up and catching her with a hurricanrana, reaching back and cradling a leg... 1... 2... SAVE BY MACKENZIE! But as soon as Mackenzie goes after Maggie again, into shot rushes Jade Rodez to CLUB Mackenzie down with a big Clothesline!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Back out of the ring rolls, Jade stopped from going out after her by a sudden twinge in her back. Meanwhile, Maggie stays on her sister, scooping her up and slamming her. Off the ropes, Maggie again looks for the Rick Roll. But the element of surprise has gone this time and Molly isn't falling for it again, rolling out of the way! Maggie's body bounces awkwardly off the canvas and she pulls herself up, met by Molly with a diving clothesline. Molly then leaves Maggie behind for a second and runs at Jade... who just spots her out of the corner of her eye, sidestepping and sending Molly running chest first into the turnbuckles. As she turns around, Molly's ample assets are then crushed by a double knee strike in the corner by Rodez! COLE Shades of her uncle! Down goes Jade after that with her back still in agony. Luckily, Maggie is there to take over for her, running at Molly... and stopping short of her sister as she flinches expecting to be crushed again... "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" ...but instead Maggie screams RIGHT IN HER EAR!!! COACH OW! COLE Hey, remember that time we both went to that N*SYNC concert together? COACH I do now... unfortunately. COLE Yeah. Good times. How's your throat now by the way? COACH Oh much better, thanks for asking. Dis-orientated by the ringing in her ears, Molly staggers out of the corner and a boot sets her up for Happiness Is Edmonton In Your Rearview Mirror... but again Mackenzie appears and with a handful of hair she drags the Women's Champion off of her sister, spins her around and throws her ruthlessly out of the ring! Maggie splats off the ringside mats hard. COACH Being Women's Champ isn't all it's cracked up to be, huh Mags? Jade goes back on the offence, attacking Mackenzie with forearms from behind. But Molly catches her with an axehandle to the back to cut her off before her headache haunts her again. No compassion for that, Mackenzie tells Molly to help her with an irish whip. Together the Enterprise women send Jade off the ropes and duck their heads for backbody drops. Jade manages to put on the brakes, kicking Mackenzie in the chest before grabbing Molly by her khaki pants and throwing her to the outside right out with her sister. JADE OVER! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" COACH Ugh, how cliché. Where's that DNA test when you need it? Lining Mackenzie up, Jade aims at her face with the GAMENGIRI... ...NO! Mackenzie blocks it, causing Jade to land awkwardly on her side! She shouts out in pain and grabs her lower back again, perhaps having wrenched a muscle on landing. Mackenzie gives her no time to worry about that though, locking her into a front facelock. Cradling the leg, Mackenzie then lifts Jade up and hovers with her for a second... before driving her down into the canvas with the Fisherman's Buster for the second time in two weeks! COLE And that's gonna do it, again. Cover by Mackenzie... 1... 2... 3!!! *DINGDINGDING!* Just pulling herself up on the outside too late, Maggie hangs her head sadly as she realises she's too late to save her friend. Mackenzie pushes up onto her knees and points a finger into the emotionless face of Rodez, letting off a little extra steam before she SLAPS the defenceless girl across the face. Maggie dives in now and chasing Mackenzie off, big grin on her face as she swaggers away on the floor. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... the team of MOLLY NERDLY and MACKENZIE DECENZO... THE ENTERPRISE!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Seriously, is this Jade thing some giant rib that nobody's let The Coach in on yet? You're telling me that's the daughter of Krista Isadora Duncan? Either we all bein' played, or we know the real reason Krista didn't want nothing to do with her. Jade's gotten herself beat two weeks in a row now... Krista hasn't lost a match since the Carter Administration! Let alone two in two weeks! That's poor. Real poor. Maggie kneels down to check on Jade while Mackenzie waits for Molly to limp over to her and join in the celebrations. The Enterprise women raise their arms victoriously at the foot of the ramp, Mackenzie smiling at the state she's left Jade Rodez in before looking back at Maggie and warning her that she and her Women's Championship might well be next! COLE The Enterprise males got the job done at AngleMania. And tonight, it's the Enterprise's females who prove their dominance. We'll see you next week, for a more eventful HeldDOWN, where we kick off our tournament to determine who will gain the right to compete for the world championship at School's Out! FADE OUT

We find ourselves opening backstage in the office of OAOAST President, AngleSault. ANGLESAULT Good evening and thank you joining us here from San Diego, just a week removed from one of the greatest nights in the history of this sport, AngleMania VII. We thank all our great fans for joining us and making it such a monumental event. But that was then and now, the OAOAST will move on. ANGLESAULT Over the next few weeks, the OAOAST will be embarking on a tour of some of Europe's biggest cities, before returning to the US the week of School's Out. And at that very Pay Per View, the new OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion Tha Puerto Rican will make his first big-show defence. ANGLESAULT To determine the new number one contender, there will be an eight-man single elimination tournament, held over our events in Paris, Barcelona and finally Glasgow, Scotland. The winner will go on to School's Out to face PRL for the World Title. And what's more, it will be an opportunity similar to that which PRL took at AngleMania, as the eight participants are all competitors who have never been World Champion before. It's the ultimate opportunity for one rising star in the OAOAST. The eight men involved will be... one third of the 6-Man Tag Team Champions, Nathaniel Black... Jamie O'Hara... Spanish Fly... "The Urban Legend" Todd Cortez... The Mad Cappa... the winner of the 2008 Lethal Rumble, The Cuban Wall... Christian Wright... and "Silky Smooth" Leon Rodez. The first round of matches will take place in Paris, France in two weeks time and we hope you'll all join us on TSM. Thank you. THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD Highlights from this past weeks Anglemania are displayed instead of the usual introductory video. The majority of the highlights celebrate the victors, fitting images for our theme song of Ultimate Victory, which I guess is due to be changed soon. As the video closes out with an overhead shot, we dissolve into our logo... We're taken into the arena where the sounds of the roaring crowd fills our ears. However what fills our eyesight is the announce team of Double C, stationed at sofa central and clad in their usual orange polos and khaki pants. COLE Folks, Anglemania is in the books! What a fantastic show that was, in front of a record setting crowd in Los Angeles, California! Michael Cole and Johnathan Coachman, here in San Diego for our big post Anglemania blowout! And we've already started it off huge with a announcement from Anglesault, as our international tour will be the sight of a huge tournament to determine the number one contender for School's Out! But, we don't want to get ahead of ourselves, because there's still lots to happen here tonight. Let's kick things off with some one on one action! *WHIIIR!* *WHIIIR!* "Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case of lovin' you No pill's gonna cure my ill I've got a bad case of lovin' you" The Doctors Of Love are in as we return to San Diego, Pigley and Anderson charging out and driving the fans wild with their labcoat striptease routine. Only in the OAOAST! Only Pigley actually strips of the coat however, as it's singles action for him tonight. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall, with a twenty minute time-limit. Introducing first, accompanied by his colleague and tag team partner, Dr. Max Anderson. From Chicago, Illinois... he weighs two hundred, ten pounds... the host of "The Love Line", every Wednesday night at 7PM on local Chicago radio... "THE LOVE DOCTOR"... SSTTEEEEEEEEVVVEEEEEEEENN... PPIIIIIIIGGLLLLLLLEEEEEEYYYYYYYY!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE The Love Doctors have been on a good run as of late. A victory tonight, albeit in singles action, might put them in line for a 6-Man Tag Team Title shot down the line. COACH With who? EMT Tim? Why waste their time? In slide The Docs, Anderson hyping his tag team partner up as "The Church Of Hot Addiction" fires up. With a beaming smile on his face, out heads James Blonde, flanked as ever by the crazed looking Faqu. Gone is the faux fur coat, oh noez! Blonde's new trend to be setting is a black hooded jacket, short sleeved on the left side and totally cut open down the seam on the right. Pulling his newly regained OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Title belt from the open half of his jacket, Blonde raises it over his head as he walks to the ring, lording it over everybody in San Diego. BUFFER And his opponent is accompanied to the ring by "The Samoan Wrecking Ball", FAQU! He hails from Vancouver, British Columbia and weighs two hundred and eight pounds... one third of the NEW OAOAST World 6-Man Tag Team Champions! Representing Cucaracha Internacional... "THE TRENDSETTER"... JJJAAAAAAAAAMMMEEEEESSSSSSS... BBLLLLLOOOOOOOOONNDDEEEEEEEEE!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Blonde enters the ring and ditches his new jacket, showing off... yes, new ring attire as well. He really IS The Trendsetter! Red 3/4 length pants, with the Canadian flag on the right hip, 'BLONDE' in Japanese scripture down the left leg in white and black elastic ties at the bottom of both legs are topped off with a pair of gold wrestling shoes with red socks. COACH (hypnotically) Must... buy... gold shoes. Handing over his title belt, Blonde convinces Faqu to take up a position on the outside instead of rushing The Docs as he looks about to do. Once Faqu is in position Blonde then turns to Pigley, fluffing up his hair with an arrogant smile on his face. COLE Both of these men, veterans of the HI-YAH promotion not so long ago, heavily influenced by their time in Japan as I'm sure we'll see from their in-ring styles. *DINGDINGDING!* Feeling pretty good about things, Blonde is ready to go and locks up with Pigley with a big smile on his face. That smile soon disappears after an armdrag though. Pigley then takes him over a second time with an armdrag. And a third, after which Blonde scrambles to the ropes to force the Doc to back off. COLE A little bit of a wake-up call for James Blonde right there. Wiping the hair from his face, Blonde wonders aloud what the hell just happened before he picks himself up. The two go to lock-up again, but JB is a step ahead this time, sweeping out the legs and covering... 1... ...quick kickout by Pigley, who then sweeps the legs on Blonde... 1... ...another quick kickout, Blonde going for the sweep again but finding the well empty on this occasion. Pigley hurdles it, blocks a back elbow and pulls Blonde over into the La Majistral cradle... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Man, Blonde has not gotten out of first gear. Blonde quickly scurries back to the ropes to break up the moment of the good Doctor, who takes the opportunity to fire up the crowd in San Diego. Looking mightly frustrated, The Trendsetter takes his time and paces around trying to get his head back into the game. Steven is happy to wait, until Blonde slaps his hand and offers up a test of strength. Locking hands, Pigley cautiously goes for the second hand... before pulling out and cracking Blonde in the chest with an open hand! Running up the ropes, Pigley goes up over Blonde's head, keeping hold of the arm and pulling him over by the wrist. Sliding to his feet, Blonde quickly sidesteps Pigley. But the Doctor improvises, coming off the second rope and snaring the arm for another armdrag variation. COLE Blonde's been turned inside out so many times, it may take a Doctor to untie him by the time this match is over! Dis-orientated, Blonde falls against the ropes and Pigley is right after him. Irish whip sends Blonde off, leapfrogged by Pigley on the rebound. Dr. Pigley then makes the mistake of ducking his head though, allowing Blonde to drop an elbow to the back of the head. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Telegraphed that one though. COACH That's the problem with the Love Doctors... well, one of many. They're quick, they're exciting, but they get caught up in the moment and they make dumbass mistakes like that. That's why health insurance is so pricey. Blonde tries to hide his shakiness with a cocky smile as he picks Pigley back up. He drops him back down with a quick back suplex, then makes the cover... 1... 2... No! Sitting Pigley up, Blonde delivers a dropkick to the back of the head before trying his luck again... 1... 2... No! COACH You know, I've always been a big fan of my boy JB... COLE Really? COACH Of course! But I gotta say, since Landon Maddix took Internationally Known under his wing, he's improved so much it's untrue. I mean, he's got the looks, the style, the ability, everything it takes to be the next Landon Maddix. COLE Oh brother! Dragging Pigley behind him, into the corner goes Blonde. He throws the Doctor face-first into the turnbuckle, before turning him around and spitting on his hand, setting up a short knifedge chop. Blonde then jogs across to the opposite corner. Giving the thumbs up to Faqu, Blonde charges at Pigley... but Pigley tumbles out of the way! Blonde hits the turnbuckles chest first and staggers backwards, into the Crucifix Bomb!! 1... 2... NO! COLE Oh, only two! Tremendous snap on that manoeuvre. Back to his feet, a groggy swing and a miss from Blonde leaves him open for an atomic drop. Off the ropes, Pigley follows up with a front dropkick and JB is rolled head over heels, right out of the ring. Seeing the opportunity to fly, Dr. Pigley rallies the crowd behind while the referee makes sure Faqu stays out of the action. Pigley then hits the ropes, full head of steam as he ducks through... ...INTO A KNEE TO THE HEAD!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH So much for the flying doctor gags! COLE Great presence of mind from James Blonde to pull himself back up and block that suicide dive. With Pigley down, Blonde heads up to the top rope and loads up the fist, coming off with the Marty Jannetty Fistdrop right to the forehead! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Picking Pigley back up, Blonde signals for the end as he sets up a suplex. Up and over floats Dr. Pigley however, landing behind and driving JB into the turnbuckles looking for an O'Connor roll. Blonde tries to block it by grabbing onto the ropes, but ends up grabbing the top turnbuckle pad and pulling it clean off as he's taken down... 1... 2... No! Avoiding a collision with the exposed turnbuckle, Pigley climbs to the middle rope and dives, pulling the ducking Blonde down with a sunset flip... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Blonde really having some trouble shaking off the AngleMania hangover so far tonight. COACH Well what do you expect? He's in there with a guy who's sole AngleMania contribution was that publicity drive over in West Hollywood that you arranged with Los Diablos, so he's fresh, that's an unfair advantage if you ask me! Luckily for Blonde he manages to cut Pigley off with a quick forearm to the stomach and give himself chance to catch his breath. Blonde nails Pigley in the side of the head with a forearm. And another, before looking for an irish whip. Reversal by Pigley, who again ducks his head too early and almost gets caught with the Guilt Trip, just managing to stand up and counter in time. Blonde flips backwards and lands on his feet, but misses with a clothesline and takes another dropkick that knocks him into the corner. COLE Dropkick and... wait a minute. What is this idiot doing out here again!? "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "This idiot" would be none other than BIFF ATLAS, who has hit the ring. Pigley stomps away on Blonde, unaware of Biff's entrance behind him, as is the referee. Sliding into the ring, Biff totally ignores the action going on though, instead pulling a roll of bright yellow "CAUTION" tape from under his shirt and wrapping it around the ropes in the corner with the exposed turnbuckle! COACH Oh, thank goodness. Pigley was gonna whip Blonde into that turnbuckle and you know it, but luckily Biff Atlas had his eye on this match and saw the potential hazard this moron referee didn't. COLE What the hell business is this of Biff Atlas's!? What is he, the safety inspector now!? COACH He's doing a better job than the safety inspector we've got at the moment. COLE I'm not sure we even have one right now. COACH Exactly! Biff continues to cordone off the one corner of the ring, which isn't appreciated by Dr. Max Anderson. Anderson climbs onto the apron to question what the hell Biff's doing. But Biff doesn't listen to a word he's saying, too busy warning Anderson that the apron is only about 10 inches in length and not a safe position to view the match from. Referee Mike Chioda eventually spots all this and tries to get Biff out of the ring, to his lengthy complaints. COLE I swear, Biff Atlas isn't all there in the head. COACH Hey, lay off him, the guy had a traumatic incident a couple of weeks back and he's trying to make sure it doesn't happen to anyone else. As Chioda tries to get rid of Atlas and/or Anderson meanwhile, Pigley ducks a shot from Blonde and has him set up for the TIME OF DEATH... ...but gets struck in the back by FAQU!! Pigley drops Blonde and gets spun around by The Samoan, who double underhooks the arms AND DROPS PIGLEY ON HIS HEAD WITH DEATH BY SAMOAN!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Wait a minute! The referee didn't see it, this is ridiculous! COACH Go tell Faqu that. Please, I ain't kidding, I wanna see you get smushed. No offence. With Pigley out, Blonde ushers Faqu out of the ring before the referee can suspect anything untoward. Biff is finally satisfied with the safety of the ring and is gotten out by Chioda, where he continues his arguement on the floor with Anderson. Meanwhile, Blonde drags Pigley into the centre of the ring. Off the ropes, he vaults to the middle rope, coming back with the Lionsault!! Hook of the leg, ref none the wiser, Anderson neither... COACH What a move! I can't see Pigley getting up after that. 1... 2... 3!!! COLE Dr. Max, with no idea what just transpired. *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Your winner of the match... "THE TRENDSETTER"... JAMES BBLLLLOOOOOONNDDEEEEE!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Sliding into the ring, Anderson looks confused since the last he saw his tag team partner was on the offensive. Blonde heads out the other way and pats Faqu on the back for a job well done, taking back his 6-Man Tag Title and pointing Faqu towards the back as he stares into the ring at The Love Doctors. COLE Opportunistic, that's about the best I can say about James Blonde after that. Passed in the aisle by Blonde and Faqu, Biff backs slowly up the ramp, looking quite worried that Dr. Pigley might have hurt his neck. What should be worrying him is the look from Dr. Max Anderson now he knows what happened. COMMERCIAL

COLE Folks, welcome back to HeldDOWN. Recently, Terry Taylor caught up with Krista Isadora Duncan to discuss the fallout from her Anglemania match, as well her relationship with daughter Jade. Let's take a look. We see Krista Isadora Duncan, attired in huge sun glasses, a white polo shirt, and destroyed jeans, and her wrapped in a pink headband similar to axl rose, sitting in the outside dining area at the Sapori Cucina resturant in West Hollywood during a sunny LA morning. With her is her comedic straight man, Terry Taylor. TAYLOR Krista, thanks a bunch for letting us join you here for breakfast... KRISTA You're only here, and not on the ground clutching your face in searing pain, because I used up all my mace on Leonardo DiCaprio at yesterdays NRDC banquet. Saving the rainforest, like the Internet, is serious business, Terry Taylor. Leo says he'll climb a tree and won't come down until the Costa Rican spider monkeys have a guaranteed habitat? No, he won't come down, because if he does I'll knock his skinny ass all the way back to the Seavers' house, and show 'em what growing pains is all about. TAYLOR Yes, well, we have lots to talk about today. First up, is Alix. After her collapse at Anglemania, right here in LA, I think we're all wondering what's her condition, and where is she? KRISTA Alix, is doing pretty well. She's up, she's vocal, she's singing Ashley Tisdale's parts from Highschool Musical, so she's good in that sense. But, um she's gonna be spending some time in drug rehabilitation and counseling. So....yeah. Um, I think we all know that was what she needed more the anything, to be in a nice clean and healthy atmosphere. No being around myopic asskissing goons who just fuel her whole addictions because they think they can make quick couple dollars off her. Or a media that just kind of almost worships this image of a good girl gone bad so they can sell ad space or nail ratings. She needs to be surrounded by people who honestly care about her, and have always cared, and always will care about her. Things had spun so completely out of control for her, for all of us, that this was really the only thing we could possibly do to make things normal again. What's happened to her is so unbelievably tragic, and god awful that it breaks my heart thinking about it. And, I feel a little responsible, like I've always protected her, and I failed, and now I have to scramble to put the pieces back together. And that's my punishment. But, at least we have a chance to turn it around, and make things better. Some people never get that. She's a very sweet girl, she has a big heart, and I love her with all my soul. She means everything to me. And she wanted to go there, that was totally her choice, she knew had to get better, and she wants to get better. So, we'll all be out here waiting and supporting her, because we love. And I guess I'll be slavishly tivoing her favorite shows, like Barefoot Contessa, whatever the hell that is. TAYLOR Jeez Krista, join us in the twenty first century! Barefoot Contessa is a cooking show with Ina Garten, and in her stunning home in the Hamptons she shows people how we can have simple, fun, yet exciting parties with one delicious menu to boot! Get with it, girlfriend! KRISTA I thought the soup kitchen only provided you a warm meal, a bed to sleep on and protection against gang rape, not the basic DirectTV package! Do you actually watch that show? TAYLOR Its probably my favorite show of all time. That and maybe Designing Women. KRISTA When did you first discover you had a vagina? TAYLOR Um, moving on to other matters, your eldest daughter, Jade Rodez will be moving out here to California to live with you. With Alix resting in rehab, Moneymaker out your hair for the moment, are you looking to use these moments of peace to try and bond with Jade? KRISTA Yeah, we're definitely going to try and work to get some great family togetherness. I'm not gonna act like one day here in LA, and all of a sudden its back to the fifties and we're going to be Leave it To Beaver, just with a lesbian mother, and no father, and girls not boys, and crazy, homicidal, sperm hounding, Denise Richards as a neighbor and not the lovable, comedic, possibly sperm hounding Eddie Haskel. But, I think if we give it a genuine honest to god effort we can establish something wonderful and tangible. That'd be my dream. For Jade to come out here and love it, and love me, because I wish her every happiness. And hopefully Maya and Jade will bond, and that'll be such a great thing for them both. Although, I hope they don't bond too well otherwise they might do what my sister Clara and I did to our mother when we were teenagers. Kill her in her sleep. Unfortunately you need garlic and a wooden stake to trully defeat her kind. Lessons for our next valium aided killing spree, I'm sure. Um, but, yeah, I think Jade will have a lot of fun out here. And, hell, who am I kidding? She's from the midwest, she'd have fun sitting in the ball pen in a McDonalds playplace in Flint and drinking lead paint! But, it'll be lots of fun. Oh honey, I'm very excited! TAYLOR I can tell. Instead of your typical breakfast of downers and a martini, you've mashed the downers into dust and sprinkled them onto a glazed donut. KRISTA The breakfast of champions! Those champions of course being the 1996 Dallas Cowboys. But, anywa... Before Krista can launch her next assault on Terry's esteem, a middle aged woman who's brimming over with excitement rushes up to her table. WOMAN Oh my god, wow, oh my god, wow! Oh my god! Oh my god! You're Krista Isadora Duncan! Thee Krista Isadora Duncan! Not the drag impersonator who stripped at my birthday party but the real thing! I was there front and center at your walk of fame ceremony! I camped out front and center for days, just so I could be close to you! And can I just have your autograph, if you don't mind? Without waiting for an answer the woman thrust a tiny sheet of paper onto the table. Curious, Terry leans across the table to watch Krista sign it. KRISTA (handing it to the woman) Pour vous, ma cheri! WOMAN Oh, thank you so much! Terry waits for the woman to depart before he levels an accusation at Krista. TAYLOR Krista, you signed it “Heather Locklear”! KRISTA Oh honey, I don't want to get a reputation that I sign things for fat chicks! TAYLOR I guess that makes sen... KRISTA (looking towards the street) Crap! Paparazzi! Stunning the rooster, Krista rapidly stretches her body across the table and shoves him beneath it. While Terry shrieks and screams at the possibility that he may be blind, Krista smiles for the privacy invading camera men. After a few clicks of their cameras disappear, the men leave Krista to resume her breakfast. Unfortunately, Krista seems to have forgotten she's hidden Terry Taylor beneath the table. Several long seconds eclipse before the disheveled announcer hauls himself from beneath the table. TAYLOR What the sam hill did you do that for? KRISTA Oh honey, I don't want to get a reputation that I hang out with fat chicks! Its bad enough there's footage of me fooling around with Rosie O'Donnell on the set of a League Of Their Own, I don't need you dragging me into a tub of bacon grease, tons of fun. TAYLOR Its actually creamed corn in my erotic fantasies journal. But, back, to Jade, I suppose. Do you think that maybe, you might try and mentor her as well as foster a relationship? KRISTA Oh honey, that's all part of being a mother, Terry. You might have known that if your mother hadn't left you in the care of King Louie, and Baloo. TAYLOR I am not Mowgli from the Jungle Book! KRISTA Uh-huh, sure, but at least you have the frame of reference to know why it is that you're being insulted. Jade, unfortunately, hasn't been exposed to much um...culture in Grand Rapids. So, I'll definitely try to give her some artistic knowledge as well. Her favorite film of all time is American Pie! Over a hundred years of world cinema in some form and she picks the flick that brought the word MILF into American vernacular. Hey, why, am I complaining, if weren't for that movie, I'd be a thirty year old hag who needs to dress her age and not a smoking hawt MILF! TAYLOR Thirty? Um, regardless, I just want you to know, if you need a babysitter for Jade, then well.. KRISTA She's eighteen, Terry. TAYLOR But, I'm here, because sometimes a young girl, nubile, fresh, innocent to the world, needs the tender touch of a ruggedly handsome, sauve, well hun... KRISTA Terry, I may have used all my pepper spray to shove Leo off the Titanic, but I can certainly jam this fork into your esophagus faster then you can say “Gee Whizzles officer, I had no idea the parking lot you just caught me masturbating in was five feet away from a church playground!” TAYLOR I would never do it in a parking lot, Krista. Because I saw on Discovery Science once, that the chemicals from asphalt ,especially freshly laid, can sort of seep off the ground on hotter days and negatively effect your sperm count should you leave that part of your anatomy exposed for a prolonged period of time. Although, I typically don't go “down there” without proper protection, I take things on a case by case basis, and its nice to know that when I don't wear the jimmy hat, I'm giving one hundred percent of Terry Taylor. Sometimes the girl demands a little extra when you don't wear one, but, like I said its a case by case basis. Usually the extra charge is only for rear entry, but you have to ask and make sure, otherwise they'll try and cheat you. They're crafty that way. KRISTA (to the table next to her) Can I borrow your stake knife, honey? I'm just gonna slit my throat really quick, it'll only take a couple seconds. (Krista fastens her napkin under her neck like a bib) On the unfortunate chance that I do live, I'd at least like to avoid a hellish dry cleaning bill! TAYLOR Yes, um, well, thanks, again, Krista, anything else you'd like to add? KRISTA XYT, honey. TAYLOR Huh? KRISTA Like x-y-z, only with a t, like examine your zipper only with your toupee that looks like the fourth chipmunk brother. So, do you get that thing a rabies shot or have you developed an immunity? As Terry struggles to adjust his toupee, we fade out. COLE Folks, coming up in just a bit, Krista's daughter Jade, teams with women's champion Maggie Nerdly to face Mackenzie and Maggie's sister Molly.

Backstage TONY SCHIAVONE~! Is backstage with... MISS JOBS? Jobbs is dressed in some new ring gear, a white sleeveless one piece that ends in booty shorts. Her hair is pulled back and she looks to be all business. SCHIAVONE Tony Schiavone here with none other than Miss Jessica Jobbs. COLE Jessica? COACH You can give her a name, but you can't make a ho a housewife, Cole. JOBBS Thank you, Tony... SCHIAVONE Now, let's just cut right to the chase, Jessica. You shouldn't even been here. You and Jester left a trail of destruction in the life of James Cone for months and last week at ANGLEMANIA VEE-EYE-EYE it ended. Jester is gone for good, never to return to an OAOAST ring. You were part of that deal. And yet... here you are. Asking for air time. JOBBS I'm here because ... Phoenix let me be here. Because I asked to be here. SCHIAVONE Asked Phoenix? What does Jester think about that? JOBBS I wouldn't know, Tony. Jester and I are over. I'm here tonight on a mission. SCHIAVONE What kind of mission? Jobbs takes a step forward, staring into the camera JOBBS Tonight I'm going to wrestle James Cone, one on one. Because I was wrong. Because I was stupid. Because Jesters going nowhere and I deserve better. Phoenix told me that backstage after the match last week. And I thought about... and he's right. So I want his respect. I'm gonna meet him in the ring tonight and try to earn it. If I can... he'll go to bat for me to return as an active competitor. SCHIAVONE That's a huge development. What's going through your head? JOBBS My mind is focused on one thing, Tony. Giving one hundred and fifty percent. Breaking my body tonight to prove that I'm worth being here. Now, if you'll excuse me... I've got to spend some time alone. I gotta get ready. She walks off, leaving a somewhat stunned Schiavone SCHIAVONE Well there it is, kids. We're starting the new wrestling year off with a bang here in the OAOAST. COLE And it's next! -- The drums and guitars of Tonight by Staind kick in, leaving the fans vaguely confused until they realize that a hastily put together video package of Jessica Jobbs' career-so-far is accompanying on the AngleTron. A murmur of boos erupt, with smatterings of “SHOW YUR TIRTS~!” by drunken idiots in the nose bleeds. Jobbs emerges from the back, pausing at the top of the walkway. Her hands are on her hips as she seems to reconsider all of this. In addition to the new one-piece, she's sporting knee-high white boots that lace to the top, with a huge belt and buckle at an angle around her waist. After a second, she nods to herself and begins a determined stride towards the ring. Tonight I'm alive I've watched you all grow up and so have I Inside this isn't really what I've had in mind I no longer relate to this world of hate that's forced upon my plate I tend to disagree, I hope it's not just me alone if only I could make you see BUFFER The following contest is set for ONE FALL, and it is for the contractual renewal of Miss Jobbs to continue competing in the O-A-O-A-S-TEEEEEEEEEE. On her way to the ring, from Detroit, Michigan, weighing in at one hundred and twenty-eight pounds – JESSICA JOBS! Jobbs slides in and backs against the far rope, resting her hands on her knees, watching the entrance way nervously as her music dies down. The orchestral strains of Rebirthing by Skillet ring out before- BOOM~! The stage EXPLODES in FIRE and a hooded Lunar Phoenix walks right through, followed by Widow. They pause at the top of the stage for Phoenix to throw his hood back and throw his fists up as Widow showcases him. There seems to be a moment that passes between him and Jobbs as he raises his eyebrows and cocks his head to the side. You asked for it. Cone and Widow make their way to the ring, pausing briefly for him to rip his BURN BRIGHT hoodie off and throw it out into the crowd. BUFFER Now approaching the ring, from Charleston, South Carolina, weighing in at two-hundred and twenty-seven pounds, the LUNAR PHOENIX, JAAAAMES COOOONE! They hit the ring and he hits the nearest corner from the apron, a la The Rock, sweeping a finger out over the cheering audience. He hops over and down and his music dies down as he adjusts his gear. The ref signals for the bell and -- BOOM! Jobbs comes off the ropes, and nails Phoenix with a big flying lariat before rolling away. Phoenix goes down but immediately rolls up on one knee, glaring at her. His lip is bleeding. COLE Whoa! Jesica Jobbs with a display of power! COACH Respect! Standing at the ready across the ring, Jobbs returns the raised eyebrows and cocks her head. She nods. She'll bring it. COACH Oh, shit! COLE (laughs) And it's on! Phoenix... smiles. He nods. Okay. Let's go. He's up and they circle. Duck in for the lockup, and Phoenix wins, shooting her to the ropes. On the return he's right there to meet her, throwing up a knee. She can't avoid and is sent flipping over, immediately clutching at her ribs on impact. COLE She'll feel that in the morning. COACH But she could feel THIS tonight. But she knows she's got no time. Phoenix grabs a hand full of hair and pulls her up but she throws an elbow to his gut and escapes, leaping back to the ropes for leverage – ANOTHER flying lariat! Phoenix is knocked down but he's coming back up – but she KEPT GOING, RIGHT OFF THE OTHER SIDE – ANOTHER FLYING LARIAT! They both scramble up and she goes for a straight kick to the head – Phoenix BLOCKS, TRAPS HER and HOOKS HER IN for a T-BONE SUPLEX! COLE I dunno, Coach. That T-Bone might change her plans tonight. COACH So could my T-Bone, Cole. So could mine. She's rocked, flopping around for a second in what one can only assume was an attempt at getting right back to her feet. Phoenix licks the inside of his bottom lip, annoyed by being slightly busted open there. He heads for the corner and climbs, taking a second to play to the crowd. Jobbs rolls up, slightly, watching from an awkward position, on her side, propped up with one arm. Phoenix turns and LEAPS FOR THE ELBOW - JOBBS PUSHES OFF, CATCHES HIM - AWKWARD KIND OF A CODEBREAKER!!!!! BOOM! COLE WHOA, shades of Mister Jericho there. Jobbs has been doing some homework! COACH Jimmy wasn't expecting that, Cole. His toast is burnt! Phoenix's head bounces off her knees and he is thrown up and over, his bell pretty rung. Both of them lay there for a moment. Jobbs struggles for the ropes. Phoenix looks up and his nose is bleeding. He's, in a word, pissed. He pulls himself up via the ropes and turns to see that Jobbs has done the same. She watches him warily as he wipes the blood from his face. He nods and motions at her - What are you waiting for? She takes the bait and comes at him but that's just what he wanted. PHOENIX KICK – KRACKOW~! COLE She got all of it! COACH ... no, it's too easy. She takes it right in the jaw, spins around and crumples to the mat. Phoenix lazily drops to his knees and slowly pins her by throwing his right arm over her and then propping himself up with it. 1 2 3! Rebirthing hits and Phoenix is up, holding his face, still selling the codebreaker. The ref raises his hand. He smirks and nods, playing to the crowd as Widow joins the festivities, raising his other hand. After a moment, though, he paces to the corner and asks for a mic. An official tosses him one. The music fades. Phoenix signals Widow to go help a struggling Jobbs get to her feet. Once Jobbs realizes who is helping her, she jerks away warily and rests on the ropes, watching them like a trapped animal. PHOENIX Hey, calm down. If I wanted to hurt you, I'd have done it already. He motions for Widow to join him, and then wipes his face again. The bleeding is starting to subside. PHOENIX You know what you did tonight? Jobbs seems confused, then shakes her head. PHOENIX You reminded me of me. See, this match is somewhere in the mid-card, maybe intended as some kind of cool down match between the big stuff. But you know what my motto is, Jessica? Never let 'em cool down! NEVER. You get interviewed backstage, you talk like you're main event. You STEP FOOT IN THIS RING, and you WRESTLE like you're the MAIN EVENT. You live the main event every second until the main event realizes it needs you. You do your damndest to be the match that everybody's talking about the next day. Live, Jessica, like it's the main event. Tonight was your main event, wasn't it? From your intro to that crazy ass codebreaker, you showed us something new. Like your song said... you're different and tonight was the time. Jobbs nods, and the close up reveals a tear streaking down her face. The crowd begins a chant: “BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK!” COLE This San Diego crowd obviously wanting to see more of Jessica Jobbs in the OAOAST. Phoenix smiles and nods. PHOENIX Jessica, I've got a question for you. Somebody throw her a mic, I've got a question for her. A mic flies into the ring. Widow catches it and hands it to Jobbs. PHOENIX Jessica, every great wrestler's gotta have a move with a great name. What are you gonna call that codebreaker? JOBBS What? PHOENIX Come on, don't leave us hanging. JOBBS Uh... well. The Jobber! Phoenix moves in close, almost face to face. PHOENIX Why? JOBBS Because... from here on out, when you get hit with it... You're doin' the JOB! The crowd laughs and cheers! Phoenix grins and nods. PHOENIX Remember that. Welcome back! He grabs her hand and raises it – Tonight by Staind hits. Jobbs seems stunned for a second but begins grinning from ear to ear as Phoenix points to her and plays to the crowd. COLE There it is! Jessica Jobbs has returned to the OAOAST. And with a new attitude! COACH But them same tig bitties! As we fade to commercial, she hugs him. COMMERCIAL

COLE Awesome show right now, but let's go to something taped earlier this week at the OAOAST Studios, as we're going to go to it now, a sit-down interview hosted by Josh Matthews with a returning star... (Cut to one-shot of Matthews, sitting on an interview set) JOSH November of 2003, my guest at this time made his name as a comedy act. He quickly developed into one of the most talented in-ring competitors and skilled technicians that this company has ever seen. For over the past year, his life has been a roller coaster ride with...well, more lows than highs. But, he's back with a new fire and determination. (camera zooms out to two-shot) Let me welcome back to the OAOAST...Sly Sommers. SLY (wearing suit and hair slicked back) Thanks, bro. It's weird, full-circle stuff man...I started with you back then and we're here now. JOSH Don't mention it. Now, the last OAOAST fans saw of you, you were involved in a deal that involved your little brother and Zack Malibu that ended abruptly in one of the most emotional free-TV matches in OAOAST history, when your trainer Zack Malibu beat you one-two-three in the middle of the ring. After the match, with not a dry eye in the house, you & Malibu made amends...or so we thought. SLY Yeah...first off, that was my real little brother, John. I tried getting him into the business, but he didn't like what he saw it had done to me and got out while he could, which explains that whole abrupt end to his storyline. Now, the Malibu thing...it's no secret: I was Zack's prized student and he & I never saw eye-to-eye until that moment. I finally had earned his trust and respect. I had just gotten out of a stint at rehab to get myself off of coke; my head hadn't been on straight in a while. I guess I can kinda "shoot", as we call it in the business, here, but the plan after that match was for me to become a manager since my neck had been bothering me going into that match and I really screwed it up when Malibu spun me around on the finish to swing me into the superkick. *clip of that finish shown in slow motion* SLY Around that time, I started using prescription meds to deal with that pain. I also like to drink. Jack Daniels is the booze of choice, as I showed in the promo the night before the Malibu match. I started combining the two and...well, I became a mess. To his credit, Malibu paid to immediately get me into rehab. However, I completely (bleep)ed that over and got kicked out in about...I want to say, a week. I wasted my time, I wasted their time, and most importantly, I wasted the respect and trust of the man I had worked so hard to earn his acknoledgement, on top of his money that he lost since there was no refund. I went right back to the booze and pills. Hell, I don't remember all of last fall. My wake-up call came on Thanksgiving night. I was eating dinner with the family and I was so ridiculous in my addiction that I had my percs and my Jack sitting right next to the turkey legs and mashed potatoes. Anyway, I turn my head because I'm all spaced out and get distracted by shiny lights, and when I turn around, the entire family's in tears and...(starts holding back tears)...my little 3-year-old baby niece Beth had gotten into my stuff and taken percosets. They had to pump her stomach...Josh, I almost killed her! (starts crying) JOSH Can we...can we stop rolling for a few minutes? (dissolve) JOSH We're back here...we've given Sly a few minutes to compose himself...now, after the wake-up call, what happened? SLY (breathes heavy) From that point, I dedicated myself to getting myself off of that crap and back into the gym, working out twice as hard because being a competitor in the OAOAST is what has made me happiest in life, despite the paranoia and problems with Zack. I graduated rehab on February 1st and they were awesome enough to let me have supervised day trips to the gym every day after the first two weeks. Honestly, I'm probably in the best shape I've ever been in. I'm ripped as I've ever been, I'm up to about 210 pounds...the only problem is that my neck's still killing me. Doctor says that I can continue wrestling without surgery, but I screw up really bad once and I could risk retirement for good. JOSH Okay, now explain this whole deal a few weeks ago with the mask and GENSHOU... SLY (laughs) Okay, I had approached the OAOAST about coming back and they, reasonably, were in doubt. I was a screw-up druggie who had screwed this company over multiple times. I could have been THE top guy at one point. Now I was a low-life recovering pillhead, begging for a hand to help pull me out of the gutter. The OAOAST higher-ups gave me an opportunity to come back as a manger for this kid from HI-YAH who HI-YAH wanted to come to America to learn how to perform with more of a character. I was gonna unmask eventually and team with him if I kept my head on straight. JOSH Now, why didn't that happen? SLY First off, I cut that promo about killing and raping people...the TV folks didn't like that too much. (laughs) But, they only really warned me about going too far. The real breaking point was GENSHOU more or less going nuts. He was a stranger in a strange land and no one had really helped him in adjusting to American culture...no one here could even communicate with him in his native tongue, and we didn't know Japanese. So, he had to go back. Don't ask me to explain that bullcrap with the huge Russian...that was some rushed-together thing with a guy who got fired as soon as he got the push. JOSH Fair enough...now, you've had this fall from grace lately and one thing really sticks out: where has Zack Malibu been? SLY Backtracking to me dropping out of rehab...I said I had lost his trust. He had called me right after and asked me to explain myself. I was so hopped up on stuff that I couldn't tie a sentence together. Last I know, he was telling people he wanted nothing to do with me; I had taken advantage of him for the last time. JOSH Why are you coming back to the ring now? SLY Straight up, the OAOAST management think I've proven that I'm drug-free and my head is on straight. I'm in the best shape of my life, I've been blowing through dudes in the training school I've been at...I think I'm ready to make an impact on this company again. More importantly though, I'm coming back for the 10 pounds of gold...I want that World Title worse than anything ever. I want to become one of the few and the proud to hold it. I want to be known as the best at my profession in the entire world at one point in time; something no one can ever take away from me. In my bedroom, right next to my mirror, I have a picture of the ending to the best match of my career ever. The ending to that sixty-minute draw on September 16, 2004. I had her in the cravate. She left her head open in her hold, and I locked my hold in. I could FEEL that belt on my waist. It was RIGHT THERE....and then the bell rang. The time limit had expired and so did my hopes of ever being World Champion...until now. Now I have the chance to come back, clean my slate, and become the top man in the sport! I will be there in the building next week and I will begin to become the man I was before, and build a dynasty upon that! JOSH Now, we're gonna end this thing with a bit of name association. I'll list off some of the top guys in this company now and you give your opinions on them. First, Tha Puerto Rican. SLY Um...well, I've said my piece on him before. Dude obviously doesn't know how to be himself. But honestly, outside of that name, I can't really insult him. He's THE man here right now. It takes a special type of competitor to be the best at anything, especially in a shark tank like the OAOAST. But I'm warning you bro, I'm going to work my way up there, and when I do, cling onto that thing tight, because I'm going to take it from you. JOSH Leon Rodez. SLY Dude, I love him! Like, the guy's got personality, the guy is a great athlete, he's awesome to watch...dude's a superstar waiting for someone in power to realize that and give him that final shove into the main event scene. One of these days, I'd love to be in the ring with him in some way. Two thumbs up. JOSH James Cone, Phoenix. SLY I think the dude has the physical tools. He's got great pain tolerance, some smart moves, he can carry out strategy in the ring great...he just doesn't have that fire, that intensity you need to be a top guy here. He's a great midcarder...dude just doesn't have it, bro. JOSH Bohemoth. SLY Dude's going down the wrong path. I'm the perfect example of why you don't wrong Zack Malibu. I tried that stuff and I was left at the bottom of the ladder, bro. I'm pleading with you man, don't make the same mistake I did; do what you can to make things right with him. JOSH Finally...Zack Malibu. SLY All I can add to what I said is, when I show up next week, on top of getting myself back into World Title contention, I'm going to start doing whatever I can to make things right with him. Zack...(tear streaming down Sly's face)...I'm sorry, man. You tried what you could with me and I threw it away. I...I can't even put into words how big the opportunity you gave me last year to get my life together after all the mud-slinging I did towards your way. You didn't HAVE to help me...you chose to, out of the goodness of your heart. I screwed up. Next week, I start trying to right a wrong. I'm sorry... (Sly buries his head in his hands, fade to black) COMMERCIAL COLE AngleMania certainly lived up to the expectations and the hype and if you weren't with us live... well, I really don't know what to tell you. You missed one of the greatest events in OAOAST history and nothing could possibly have been more important. But, if you did miss it, replays will be airing this Sunday and into the beginning of next week. Check your local pay per view listings for more information on how to relive the magic of AngleMania VII. *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" ("BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!") COLE And speaking of AngleMania, here comes a man who picked up the biggest victory of his life! Marching out, Bohemoth is met largely by the cheers of his fans but with a surprising amount of boos mixed in from some sections in San Diego. Wearing a crisp white suit and his orange-tinted sunglasses, Bohemoth looks every inch the star as he walks to the ring with very little reaction to the boos or the cheers. Bo jogs up the ring steps and enters the ring, scaling the turnbuckles and raising his arms overhead... to another slightly mixed reaction. COLE Bohemoth came out on top in one of the finest matches in AngleMania history in my opinion, against Zack Malibu, this past Sunday night. And even if you did see it live, it's worth catching the replay just for another viewing. They left it ALL that ring at AngleMania VII! COACH Yeah, but what everyone's talking about is how Bohemoth left the ring, namely without shaking the hand of Zack Malibu. COLE Well Bohemoth, perhaps with an explanation for us here tonight. "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" Bo holds his hand up and calls for some quiet, the cheers dying out a little before the boos do which seems to get his attention. He just chuckles a little under breath at them though. BOHEMOTH Man, I guess I should have expected that, huh? You know, last Sunday night, I went into the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum as the underdog. That's not something I'm used to, being 6-7, 285 as I am. Zack Malibu has got a hell of a record at AngleMania. And I knew I'd be in for the match of my life to keep up with him and I'll be damned if that isn't exactly what happened. Me and Zack, we tore each other apart. And in the end, I managed to put him down for the 1, 2, 3 and have my hand raised in victory in front of 90 something thousand people! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" ("BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!") BOHEMOTH But you see, unfortunately, that's not where it ended between me and Zack. Bo shakes his head. BOHEMOTH After the fight of my life, I looked out into those 90 something thousand and they were up cheering for me. I gotta tell you, it felt great. Then, I see a couple of fans looking behind me. And more and more, looking past me. So I get down, turn around and I see Zack Malibu back up and extending his hand to me. No wonder they weren't looking at me anymore. Bohemoth removes his orange-tinted sunglasses, placing them in the front pocket of his jacket. BOHEMOTH All week, I've heard one question from every fan, every cab driver, every baggage handler at the airport, every hotel receptionist. That one question wasn't "How did it feel to win at AngleMania, Bo?" No, it was "Why didn't you shake Zack Malibu's hand, Bo?" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" BOHEMOTH All I've heard is Zack, Zack, Zack. For one brief moment at AngleMania, I was on top. We went out, we had a great, fairly fought match and I came out on top. Now, suddenly, I'M the bad guy and all anybody wants to do is sympathise with Malibu. You wanna know why I didn't shake Zack Malibu's hand? Well, why should I? That was MY moment. AngleMania VII should have gone down as the night that the Bohemoth was finally unleashed on the OAOAST. I didn't want my AngleMania to be remembered for a HANDSHAKE! But, ya see, Zack Malibu did. Rather than have people remember the fact he got beat, he'd rather you all remember that he was the 'bigger man' to offer his hand to me. Bohemoth scowls a little, as the reaction in the crowd is hard to gauge. BOHEMOTH See, the fact is, I didn't want Zack to steal my moment. People wanna say that I disrespected him? So be it. But the way I see it, HE disrespected ME by not getting the hell out of the ring and giving me my moment. So if anyone's the 'bad gu... .:CUE: "Getting Away With Murder", Papa Roach:. "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Uh-oh! COACH Oh great! Here comes Zack, to steal another moment. Looking more than a little offended at what he's heard out of Bohemoth, Zack Malibu storms to the ring ready to tell his side of the story. Zack slides in and marches right past Bohemoth, giving him the stink-eye as he passes. Grabbing his own microphone, Zack then whips around and instantly sticks the finger in the face, drawing some "ooohs" from the fans. ZACK First of all, let's cut the crap of pinning the blame on me here, because you can ask anyone, I'm not that guy! Not in the slightest! Zack paces around a little, wiping a hand across his face. ZACK See, I'm not angry. I'm DISAPPOINTED. I'm disappointed in you Bo. We've been going at it, back and forth since November now and I really thought AngleMania was going to be the end of it. We'd finally get to settle it in the ring, one on one. That's exactly what we did and I'm man enough to admit you beat me. But then you went and pissed it all away but snubbing my handshake. You can say different, but me offering my hand wasn't one of those 'mind-games' that we've been playing with each other these past few months. It was what it was. Respect. Talk about your 'AngleMania moment'. Say what you want, YOU tarnished that moment, by not showing me the respect... BOHEMOTH NO! NO NO! You listen Zack, that's the point. AngleMania shouldn't have been ABOUT YOU! Cut off, Zack stares up at Bohemoth. BOHEMOTH You talk about respect, on and on. But you know deep down that I respect you and everything you've accomplished, way before we ever stepped into that ring in Los Angeles. AngleMania wasn't about 'earning' your handshake. Believe it or not, that 'tremendous honour' doesn't mean all that much to me. It was about earning the victory over you. And I did that. If you wanted to show me this respect, you could have done it in the back, tonight. Unless it wasn't really about respect and it was about you, as usu... ZACK HEY! You know what, you're right. Maybe it isn't about respect anymore. Maybe, now, it's just about you and me! Zack takes a step closer to Bohemoth and it threatens to break down for a second. ZACK Since you didn't want my respect at AngleMania... well, I guess now you've got my attention instead. So, maybe if I can't get your respect, maybe I'll have to BEAT it out of you!! "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh my! Bohemoth glares back at Zack for what seems like an eternity but is only really a few seconds, before he lifts his microphone back up to his mouth. BOHEMOTH You know, I don't know what makes you think you could do that, seeing as you couldn't even manage it at 'your event'... "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!" BOHEMOTH ...but, you're more than welcome to TRY, anytime! COLE Oh man, I think we've just had a challenge laid out right here! Zack and Bohemoth continue to stare each other down with the microphones now down at the sides and the words now exchanged between them and them alone. The San Diego crowd do their best to egg the two men on to settle their differences right now. But it looks like it's just the words being exchanged for now though, as we fade off to commercial. *COMMERCIAL BREAK*

I think the show is from san diego, but uh don't you know, go off me. Anyway, yeah, its being posted on saturday afternoon just because of when AM got posted. can you not dig that?

Paramore, Lupe Fiasco, Danity Kane, Guns N Roses, and more! weeks=four months in patty land. Theodore Moneymaker: Guns N Roses-Sympathy For The Devil http://sharebee.com/00074762 Krista Isadora Duncan: Danity Kane-Bad Girl http://sharebee.com/f95f4a64 Alix Maria Spezia: DJ Tiesto-Just Be http://sharebee.com/b84291c7 Maggie Nerdly: Paramore-CrushCrushCrush http://sharebee.com/214c2b8f The Beverly Hills Blonds: Lupe Fiasco-Superstar http://sharebee.com/1dfd6f61 Love Generation: Bob Sinclair-Love Generation http://sharebee.com/da3e1173 Mackenzie DeCenzo: Paul Oakenfold ft.Phraell-Sex&Money http://sharebee.com/db05ab2c The "Lunar Phoenix" James Cone:Skillet-Rebirthing http://sharebee.com/08180281 The Burroughs Boys: DJ Clue-Super Mario Bros mix (I think this is the right song) http://sharebee.com/939cf3b3 ThunderKid:Kiss-God Of Thunder http://sharebee.com/76481bfa more to come in the weeks/months/quarters/years/decades

OAOAST Anglemania VII WRITTEN BY King Cucaracha Ed Wood Caulfield Alfdogg Tony149 Zack Malibu LunarPhoenix Patty O'Green GRAPHICS Patty O'Green OAOAST CREATED BY Anglesault Tony149 CWM DIRECTED BY Patty O'Green © 2008 OAOAST Entertainment

* DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA * TV-MA L, V, S, and all kinds of funky shit you should be letting your kids watch unsupervised PRESENTED IN HD Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid's shock and delight. THE OAOAST...WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~! The OAOAST Presents An Anglesault, Tony149, and CWM Film We open into an eternal, and infinite paradise. A soundless void of pure energy. A black canvas littered with billions of flaring white specks. We open to space, a great and mesmerizing beyond. A booming voice fills this once imposing abyss, and its intimidating, foreboding speech suddenly overshadows the fear of space's unknown nature. Softening the speaker's words somewhat is the triumphant tone of remembrance from a band of trumpets, drums and pianos, and the harmonizing of an all male choir. MAN On the 30th Day of the Month of March in wrestling companies around the world suddenly encountered a horrific threat to their very existence. And this terrifying enemy surfaced, as such enemies often do, in the seemingly and most unlikely of places.... The streets of Los Angeles, Hollywood Boulevard to be exact, are where we now lay our scene. Three African American women hair done up in classic Motown style, all dressed in baby blue evening gowns to imitate the Supremes are seated on the back of a Starline tour bus. Their fellow passengers are decidedly Midwestern: pudgy, Bermuda shorts, plain polo or outrageous hawaiin shirts, fisherman hats. Their humdrum appearance stands in marked contrast to the three starlets of our scene. The discrepancy is furthered even greater when the three women stand and begin singing to a jazzy piano melody. SINGERS OAOAST! Anglemania Seven! OAOAST! Anglemania Seven! Call the cops! Little shop of horrors! No! Oh oh oh no-oh! The women glide through the aisle way of the bus, paid no intention from the downtrodden and despairing midwestern tourists. Unfortunately as they make their way off the bus and into the front of the Staples Center, they're not given a warm welcome from the locals. Or any welcome for that matter. The locals are much too busy fleeing from a rumbling that shakes the arena like the deadliest of earthquakes. SINGER 1 Shing-a-ling, what a creepy thing to be happening! SINGER 2 Look Out! SINGER 3 Look Out! SINGER 1 Look Out! SINGER 2 Look Out Look out indeed. Look out for the debris of the arena's roofing that becomes a meteor shower flaring out far enough to puncture the 110 highway and sending cars plummeting to a fiery demise. The source of this catastrophic disaster? The OAOAST logo towering through the shredded roof, angered over being too big to be contained by the piddly Staples Center. SINGER 1 Shang-a-lang, feel the strum and drang in the air. SINGER 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah SINGER 3 Sha-la-la, stop right where you are. Don't you move a thing! Stepping out of the ruined Staples Center, the demonic logo parades down Olympic street to find a building big enough to hold its presence. Pedestrians and motorists scatter into fiery crashes in an effort to avoid the heartless procession of the logo. ALL SINGERS You better, Tellin' you, you better Tell your mama somethin's gonna get her! She better, ev'rybody better bewaaaaaaaaaare! Dodger Stadium is every bit as useless as the Staples Center. The historic park which has boasted a team that hasn't won a playoff series since I've been alive, is regarded like a common ant hill, and is bulldozed as such by a mammoth WARRIOR sized body splash from the logo. Picking itself up, the logo isn't satisfied with leveling the stadium to pieces and boots the scoreboard clear into San Diego County to relieve its frustrations. Oh no, where shall i witness dudes fresh off parole pulling shanks on dudes wearin giants jerseys now???? SINGERS Oh, here it comes, baby. Tell the world, baby. Oh, no,no. Oh, hit the dirt, baby. Red alert, baby. Oh, oh, no, Oh, oh-oh, no. The Hollywood Bowl isn't even given the dignity of being treated as at least a semi serious candidate for housing by the logo. It and its orchestra watching audience are merely accidental victims under the foot of the logo's march down the Hollywood freeway. SINGER 1 Alley Oop, haul it off the stoop. Child I'm warnin' yo-uuuuu! SINGER 2 Look out! SINGER 3 Look out! SINGER 1 Look out! SINGER 1 Look out! Slow ya role, b. The OAOAST logo chills out at Mel's Drive in West Hollywood scopin out the fine ass LA hotties. You know he gots to get dat propa swerve from dem white bitches! SINGER 2 Run away. Child, you gotta pay if you fail. SINGER 3 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. SINGER 1 Look around. Somethin's comin' down, down the street for you. SINGERS You betcha, you bet your BUTT you betcha. Best belive it, somethin's out ta getcha. You betcha, you better watch your back and your tail. With the area's large scale entertainment venues lying in ruins, its citizens shocked into hiding in their overpriced homes, its understaffed police force taxed to exhaustion, its myriad of gangs running free on the streets, and its public school system noticeably worsened (don't ask me how the logo did that, the schools just suck anyway), Los Angeles is at the mercy of the OAOAST logo and its ill humor. Fortunately for the city's moderately weakened economy, the OAOAST logo has found what it was looking for all this time, a home big enough to hang it's hat. And that home just happens to be the Memorial Coliseum. Its ascends high into the air, clearing the roof, then comes down in the middle of the field. Instead of sinking to the center of the earth as physics would so dictate, the OAOAST logo merely ignites a series of fireworks that explode from every inch of the top of the arena. SINGERS Comma comma comma. OAOAST! Anglemania Seven! OAOAST! Anglemania Seven! Bop sh'bop, You'll never stop the terror OAOAST! Anglemania Seven! OAOAST! Anglemania Seven! No! No no n'no! No no n'no! No no n'no-oh oh oh! (mad respect to little shop horrors 4 being the shit) That video ends on the singers standing in front of the contented logo. We then page swipe into a normalized introduction set to Alix Maria Spezia's Californication. Scenes pulled from across the GOAT state of California play underneath brilliant but subtle sepia shading. We venture down the Santa Monica freeway during rush hour with the gorgeous California sunset hitting our eyes. We travel across the Golden Gate Bridge carried along tenderly by that trademark San Fransisco fog. We fly over San Diego beach taking in the city's grand skyscape. We go down Melrose, marveling in its eclectic culture. We see a young man being gunned down in the streets of LA because the dumbshit city council has no idea how to prevent gang violence. In between all this are grey and muted images of the superstars of Anglemania embroiled in their various highstakes fueds. As Alix's soothing yet haunting song draws to its finale we see another greyed image of the OAOAST roster (minus one or two or thirty people) standing in the center of the ring in an empty Coliseum. Our first view of live action centers on PPV welcome team... MAGGIE NERDLY JOSH MATTHEWS Sitting on directors chairs in front of a massive video screen which flares with the Anglemania logo, Maggie and Josh prepare to welcome us to Anglemania! They're positioned atop a stage outside the Coliseum that overlooks hundreds of rabid OAOAST fans who were either too poor, too lazy, or too stupid to get tickets like the ones inside the stadium. MAGGIE What it do, ya'll? Maggie Nerdly, women's champ of the world, chillin' with stalker to the stars... JOSH You try to kidnap Wee Man from Jackass just once and you're branded for life! MAGGIE Kickin it live outside the memorial Coliseum to tell you what's really go down here on the West Coast for Anglemania Seven. OAOAST stand up! The fans let out a mighty cheer for the introduction of Anglemania, and foist their many signs and posters into the air. MAGGIE Josh, before we start, why are you rockin a bullet proof vest? JOSH There's already been something like two hundred homicides in this city this year. You think I'm gonna let those cholos do me in like that? Don't think so! MAGGIE Yeah, okay, next time don't wear a vest made out of blackberry cotton candy, stupid ass. Maggie swaps a chunk of Josh's vest and jams it into her mouth. JOSH My protection! Egads! Your brothers and their pals the Gunslingers could probably use full body armor with the daunting task they're faced with in the opening match. Ned Blanchard, Simon Singleton, Christian Wright, and indomitable, Theodore Moneymaker. All hail The Enterprise! MAGGIE Whatever, Josh, Melody's manager of the year, and MARV and MEL have been on a roll since they got back into town. I don't care what Molly says or that she produced a ten minute mockumentary with Apple Final Cut Pro to prove her point, three Nerdlys are greater then one! Simple math tells me that the Express and the Gunslingers are gonna get work done. Make sure you bring some tissues with you when you come around to kiss Moneymaker's BUTT. JOSH Because he has a poopy ass? MAGGIE No, because, he'll be crying after he gets his wig split! Although, I hear rumors that his bu....nevermind. JOSH Your blind thinking that your Nerdly kin are going to win is nepotism at its most shameless! And that is why you have no shame over what you just said. Because you are shameless. This big feud between The Express and The Blonds has been brewing since The Blonds got turfed out the first round Anderson Cup. You, Canadians, you're so smug, and arrogant with your hockey, and your free health care, and your gay rights, and- MAGGIE Our not having to throw down a couple hundred to lose our virginity JOSH Hmmm....would you like to tell us more about losing your virginity? MAGGIE Man, am I gonna have to bust the poison darts like I did when you thought the wheelbarrow race at the Anglemania picnic was best ran with wet t-shirts? JOSH Um, no comment until Mariachi drops his sexual harassment suit. Former friends Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly look to settle their score in the ring with the United States Title on the line. But this isn't just your average match. This is a Crybaby Match and the loser has to wear a diaper! I'm going to laugh my pale ass off at whoever gets stuck in those huggies! MAGGIE Josh, you wear a diaper every second of your life. JOSH The ribbed protection helps prevent leakage and keeps baby comfortable! MAGGIE Awkward! JOSH James Cone will be making his first Anglemania appearance in four years, but its not all fond reunions for the three time tag team champion. MAGGIE No kidding. He's got to deal with Jester in a Stairway to Oblivion match. The first one didn't snuff him out, but Jester is going to make sure that this one does the trick. JOSH These guys absolutely detest each other, and are determined to inflict as much violence as possible on the other. They've traded blows, and they've traded barbs, but only one is coming out the winner of the Stairway To Oblivion Two. JOSH Maggie and Leon sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g! How'd old Leon congratulate you after you won the woman's title. MAGGIE Well..uh..um...he...sort of...I guess...uh...busy...maybe...um.. JOSH Forget it, if it doesn't sound like a letter to Penthouse I don't give two craps! But he and The Love Generation are going to meet La Cucharacha Internacional for the vacant Six Man Titles! The Love Generation have given a big boost in credibility to the belts, but have they finally met their match against Black, Faqu and Blond? MAGGIE Straight out the “sucks to be you” department, Anglesault has matched a reunited ThunderKid and Reject against Reject's old homies the Burroghs Boys. Josh, don't you think the Burroghs Boys did Reject dirty? JOSH Reject was once a lot like myself. Young, charismatic, wealthy, successful, hung like a gorilla- MAGGIE Gorillas only have four inch penises on average. JOSH Like I said, hung like a gorilla. But then Reject got caught slipping. He let his game fall apart, and in the ultra competitive OAOAST that's something you just can't do. I suppose it wasn't the nicest thing of the Burroughs Boys to jump their leader without giving him the respect of speaking on problems first. But, then again it wasn't cool of Reject to let himself and his stable fall by the wayside either. If Reject wants someone to blame he needs to look in the mirror! MAGGIE That's hood talk right there, J.Math. JOSH Well, weak people deserve tough talk. MAGGIE Is that why you threw yourself at his feet and offered a manicure/facial when he thought you ate all the deviled eggs at the picnic? Not a G move, Josh. Not at all. JOSH You gotta know when to fold 'em, and know when to walk away. On the subject of guys who need to know when to walk away, how about Team Heyross? Their whole little pure athletes who never get any respect is a nice little angle to go on. Works out well for them. But let's face it, now that they've got an actual two on two match for the One and Only World Tag Team Titles against The Heavenly Rockers, the jig is up! The Heavenly Rockers are too much for any team in the OAOAST, and they're definitely too much for Team Heyross. MAGGIE The Heavenly Rockers? Josh, be for real, man. They haven't even defended their tag titles once since they screwed Jock and Baron out of em. Where you at Rockers? And, I know Abdullah is my brother and all, but you don't gotta be in the Beverly Hills Blonds to give real talk. So here's some right here. If it weren't for Moneymaker dropping mad cash into his bank account everyweek he'd be sellin' fireworks on the side of the highway in Texas like Kicking Wing from Joe Dirt. JOSH Our first of many celebrity appearances! One of our featured matches on the card is Todd Cortez against the man who pretty much gave him life and purpose in the OAOAST, Landon Maddix. Ungrateful Todd puts his Anglemania losing streak on the line against Landon's historic winning streak. MAGGIE Historic? He's only won one match! JOSH Its still one more then he lost! Todd Cortez is like a rebellious child in a way. And a when a child acts out against the ruling party, then that ruling party has to take proper action to create discipline. MAGGIE I'm not cosigning that! Maddix is trying to tame an animal that just doesn't want to be tamed, and its going to come back to hurt him. Badly. JOSH I can tell you the names of two guys that might definitely get hurt badly here at Anglemania. Alfdogg and Sandman! MAGGIE Truth.com. We don't even need to big up that match, just the names alone should tell you all you need to know. Sandman. Alfdogg. Heartland Title. The Heartland Title has been responsible for so many awesome and amazing matches, and you just know this is gonna be another one! JOSH Zack Malibu is a lot of different things to different people. He's a father, he's a husband, he's a brother, I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint, I do not feel ashamed, I'm your hell, I'm your dream, I'm nothing in between, You know you wouldn't want it any other way. MAGGIE Uh...what are you doing? JOSH Its a song! Bitch? Meredith Brooks? MAGGIE I'm only eighteen. If it came out before Oops I did it Again, it might as well be old as Mozart! JOSH Well, anyway, to Bohemoth, Zack Malibu is nothing but obstacle. Tensions between the two have been escalating ever since Bo confronted Zack Malibu backstage at a HeldDOWN several months ago. They may respect each other, but its very clear they don't like each other. This could wind up being one of the most wild and unpredictable matches on the card. MAGGIE Full respect to Bo for going out and bringing the challenge to Zack's doorstep, but the big guy definitely has his work cut out for him with the OAOAST poster boy. I sure don't envy what he's got on his plate! JOSH If there's one match that hits home to the people of Los Angeles, its the one that puts former lovers and four time tag team champions Alix Maria Spezia and Krista Isadora Duncan against each other. MAGGIE Right on, Josh. Alix and Krista in their city, vying for the affection of every citizen. But this beef goes deeper then that. Alix believes that Krista is spreading mad lies about her all up and down the entertainment world. Plus, Alix's boss, Moneymaker, thinks that if Ally beats Krista that'll drive the nail into her coffin. And Krista's got her own problem with Alix because Al's the one who first told Moneymaker that Jade was her child! JOSH And, Alix's health issues are well documented. You wonder how she'll hold up here tonight? But there shouldn't be any worries about the number one contender for the world title, Tha Puerto Rican will compete tonight! He's waited five years for this moment to come, and now that its here, he wouldn't miss it even if he had no legs! MAGGIE Tha Puerto Rican was a huge help in me becoming women's champion, so I gotta show love for that. But, going into this match, things look grim. Stephen Joseph has his boy Vitamin X as a special guest referee, and I dunno how anyone's gonna keep The Corporation from getting in the ring. SJ has went ahead and made sure he's got every base covered. I'm rooting for Puerto and I hope he pulls it out, but its gonna be tough. JOSH Its going to be impossible! Impossible! He might as well quit now and see if he can get the OAOAST Adrenaline title reinstated, because the world title belongs to Stephen Joseph. Like you said Popick has pulled out all the stops to keep that belt around his waist. And Anglemania won't make any difference! MAGGIE I guess we'll see how right you are at the end of the night! ALSO ON THE CARD SPECIAL BONUS ATTRACTION MISTER WARRIOR Vs Vinny Valentine MAGGIE AND JOSH Let's get this thing started! We now see the Olympic torch which flares with marvelous majesty atop the historic building. But its as unimpressive as a pop gun when compared to the display of pyrotechnic wizardry that awaits us inside the building. The base of the entry way is ablaze with red, blue, and white pillars of fireworks that pierce through the Heavenly calm of the Los Angeles sky. Beneath those towers of light lie twirling gold pyro sparklers as big as the OAOAST ring itself. But even that looks like simple light trickery when match against the thick columns of teal fireworks that rip their trail across the entry way. Plumes of smoke and ash form a hazy mask in funeral for the departed pyro, resting itself in front of video screens that display the Anglemania logo and are bordered by shimmering white metallic flowers in an update of roman architecture. Inside the entrance arc which will soon see a steady procession of superstars, stands a row of lights hawking multicolored beams through the wall of mist. As Alix's Californication plays in the background the view switches to an overhead shot of the stadium. There we see a hundred thousand (give or take fifteen thousand or so) fans on their feet, all anticipating an event the likes of which they've never seen before. We also here their screams, their shouts that echo the thoughts of an entire world that has been waiting with baited breath for this magical event. At ringside, are the announce team of Double C. They've eschewed their typical outfits of kahki's and polo shirts to dress to the nines in tuxedos. Even sofa central is dressed for the occasion with champagne bottles on the announce table, and beautiful floral arrangements at its base. Next to Double C are the Spanish announcers who each share an old washing machine a seat and drink out a doggy bowl. (just, uh, ignore the baseball diamond, and the dugouts, and the dodgers, and the red sox and all that shit) COLE Folks, from the entire OAOAST I bid you a very warm welcome to the biggest show of the year. The proverbial grandady of them all! Anglemania Seven! They played baseball here Saturday Night, and now the OAOAST is going to knock one right out the park! Thank you one and all for joining us here in the entertainment capital of the world, Los Angeles! I'm Michael Cole privileged to be calling this amazing event at ringside with Johnathan Coachman. Coach, LA is best known as the city of angels, but its also a city of dreams. Could we see some dreams come true tonight? COACH Dreams come true for a very lucky few! The Brad Pitts, the Tom Cruises, the Hillary Swanks. You never hear anything about what happens to the millions of people who come to LA only to have their dream die somewhere along the Boluveard. Well, tonight you will! Tonight everyone who fails in their quest to be a champion, or to get revenge, or to seek glory, we'll see it! And you can see how this city crushes all hope. COLE My what a cheerful and uplifting way to begin the show. You should join Abdullah on the motivational speaker circuit.

ANGLEMANIA VII Sunday March 30th (hahahahah) from the GOAT city, Los Angeles (actually thats technically Beverly Hills) home of the GOAT basketball team the GOTE player the WOAT basketball team the GOAT e-fed personality, the swagnifcent nigga from the land b4 time the GOAT restaurant (and that's technically in west hollywood) i'ma head there after i post this, its open 24 hours. you might see me there looking all gawty..chain hung to my dick smelling like prada cologne and i have reg niccas & celebrity bitches runnin upp to me like im a star ur favorite actor trynna give me a five star general handshake....its just the black wallstreet way of life i guess u could say. ask about me in the streets, b. my swag level is thru the roof. i'm young fly n flashy.....caked up, draped up. just cause u aint neva met a nigga wit this much swag dont mean he aint real b...and thats true real talk rite thurr. The theme song is alix's cover of Californication by classic LA rock band RHCP. No one ever uses the themesong for anything, so I say why not use a fake one? fuiud, i run this bitch, do not fuck with me on any level. If We Get The Fightin, Then I'm Cocking On Your Bitch, You Catch Me At Yo Local Party, Yes I Crank It Everyday Haterz Get Mad Cuz "I Got Me some Bathing Apes" The show takes place in this mammoth mu'fucka: The coliseum has hosted two Olympic events, is the home for the USC trojans and seats about 101 thousand people. Over the course of its 85 year life, the stadium has played home to eight different spots teams, including the Dodgers, The Chargers, and The Rams. It also impressively features an Olympic torch originally built for the 1932 Summer Olympics, that's ignited by a flip of the switch in the scoreboard. So the "set" would basically be the unique architecture of the actual stadium. Here's where you'd enter from, right beneath that archway (snatched from the movie S1mone) That would be the torch at the top of the archway. Word to the struggle, b, we gonna make it! , you can send everything to Patty O'Green! Opening was gifted away months ago, tho

COLE And so, it has come down to this. The main event. The biggest main event in AngleMania history. Everything has been building up to this moment. Tha Puerto Rican is looking to make history in the biggest match of his career. While Stephen Joseph Popick is looking to successfully retain his Title in only his SECOND AngleMania appearance! And what role will the Special Referee, Vitamin X, play? Will his Corporate allegiance shine through? Or will he surprise us and call this thing right down the middle? Will Tha Puerto Rican finally become World Heavyweight Champion? Or are the odds just too much for him to overcome? Will Stephen Joseph Popick leave the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum STILL the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion? Or will he suffer defeat at the hands of his former protégé? We are about to find out as the main event of OAOAST AngleMania VII starts now. COACH Oh boy! I can’t wait! This is going to be great! I’ve got goosebumps! PRL is going down! HA! HA! *KA-CHING~!* *”Come and take your Vitamin X.”* “Bling-Bling” by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys starts playing, causing the crowd to boo LOUDLY. Vitamin X comes out, doing the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle as soon as he appears on the stage. VX is wearing a standard referee shirt, along with black sweat pants, black Nike sneakers and black elbow pads. X tries to get the crowd hyped up, but fails miserably. Dollar signs are superimposed over the entryway as he walks to the ring, bobbing his head to the beat of his entrance song. COACH At least Vitamin X had the decency to wear a PROPER referee shirt, unlike what that punk PRL wore a few weeks ago! COLE Vitamin X, the hand selected Special Referee for this contest. What role will he play in this important match-up? COACH Come on, Michael. While you and all these fans think that a screwjob is in the making, *I* know that Vitamin X will call this match perfectly right down the middle like any good referee would! He knows what’s up for grabs in this contest. He’s not going to do anything stupid. COLE Coach, there is nothing in Vitamin X’s five year career in the OAOAST that makes me think that he will call this match right down the middle. Nothing at all. I mean, for crying out loud, he’s the SECOND-IN-COMMAND of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation! If that doesn’t set off warning signs, then I don’t know what will! COACH Well, he might be tight with Popick, but he’s not going to let his friendship get in the way of calling this match. He’s going to be a fair and impartial referee like any good CORPORATE Second-In-Command would do. He’ll prove you and these ingrates wrong. He’s gonna be the perfect CORPORATE referee! HA! HA! COLE I’ll believe it when I see it! Vitamin X jaws with the fans. He then climbs up the ring steps so that he can get onto the ring apron. X hops onto the second turnbuckle that’s next to the ring steps. He then crosses his arms into an “X”. The crowd boos loudly. The X-Man has a cocky smirk on his face. Afterwards, Vitamin X gets off of the second turnbuckle, landing in the ring. X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle again, irritating the fans some more. COLE I don’t recall a referee getting an entrance like that before. COACH This is the main event of AngleMania, Cole! Even the REFEREE gets an entrance! And look at it this way, now Vitamin X can say that he was in the main event of AngleMania! COLE Tha Puerto Rican, Stephen Joseph Popick and Vitamin X all in their first AngleMania main event here tonight. COACH Yeah. PRL is going to choke on the grandest stage of them all! I love it! Vitamin X dances badly as “Bling-Bling” continues playing. X does some shadow boxing, and then goes back to doing the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. COACH Look at Vitamin X! Get down! Get down! COLE He gets an entrance, he’s dancing, he’s got special lights, is this a referee or a wrestler? COACH For tonight, and tonight only, he is the best damn referee on the planet! COLE Uh-huh. Impartial my ass! Vitamin X walks around the ring with a serious look on his face as “Bling-Bling” by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys dies down. X continues pacing back and forth in the ring. COLE All right, time now for the competitors to make their entrance. “THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP…” *DUN DUN* “…IS…” *DUN* “…HERE!” “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and “Know Your Role 2000” begins playing, with the 100,000+ in attendance standing up and cheering loudly. COLE I have never heard over 100,000 people cheering that loudly in my entire life! COACH What!? I can’t hear you! The lights go down in the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. PR is heard saying, “THE CHAMP IS HERE!” in tune with the beat of the song, while smoke fills the entrance and spotlights circle around and around the Coliseum. A few seconds elapsed, and then out through the curtains saunters out Tha Puerto Rican. Tha Puerto Rican quickly saunters out through the smoke and power walks to the ring, not stopping at all, keeping his eyes focused on the ring. The crowd cheers louder than before. COLE It is a journey. A journey that began 10 years ago. A journey that has taken Tha Puerto Rican through IWA: Puerto Rico, AAA, CMLL, and the OAOAST. A journey that has seen many ups and many downs. At one time, he was one of the most hated wrestlers in the One And Only AngleSault Thread, but over time, he has earned the respect and the admiration of these OAOAST fans, and they are showing it tonight! COACH Buncha fair-weather fans! COLE He has been bloodied, he has been battered, he has been beaten. He has been electrocuted, put through tables, pierced with thumbtacks, attacked with lead pipes, Kendo Sticks, and steel chairs. But if he wins it all tonight, it will all be worth it! Is this the end of that journey? After a 10 year career, has Tha Puerto Rican reached the mountaintop? Will his hard work pay off tonight in his first ever World Title win? Tha Puerto Rican continues his walk to the ring. COACH PRL is doomed! He has no shot at winning! Popick is more prepared for this match than any other match in his entire career! He has been training 24/7 7 days a week for this moment! This is not Tha Puerto Rican’s night! This is HIS night! The night where he goes down in history as the GREATEST World Heavyweight Champion there ever was and there ever will be! And unfortunately, or rather, fortunately, PRL gets to be his victim! Tha Puerto Rican stops at ringside to slap hands with the fans before power walking around the ringside area. COLE Think about what he has gone through to get here. What he has done. He got stabbed in the back by Popick and his cronies, his so-called ‘friends’. He got SCREWED out of winning the Lethal Rumble. He had to put his career on the line in an Ultimate X Match to even get to this point! He has been beaten down time and time again by his former buddies. He has been SCREWED out of tons of matches. And yet, he has gotten back up each and every time! He has not given up! He WANTS to become World Heavyweight Champion more than anything! And he has a golden opportunity right now! COACH And just like in the past, PRL is going to blow it! Again. Tha Puerto Rican climbs up the ring steps to get onto the ring apron. Tha Puerto Rican stands on the ring apron and gives the fans The People’s Eyebrow. Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring. He spins around; soaking in the fans’ cheers while “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing. Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him in the ring. More pyro goes off around the exterior of the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. PRL then jumps up and down while pumping his fists, and a HUGE burst of pyro goes off behind him in the ring. And then another! And then another! And then another! Vitamin X gives PRL a sarcastic golf clap. The crowd is cheering loudly. COLE PRL in the NINTH World Title match of his OAOAST career. He has failed to win the OAOAST Championship all eight previous times. His first World Title Match was back on November 30, 2003 in the 7-person Elimination Chamber Match at Deadly Game: Unlucky 7. He was in the final three, but was eliminated by “Shooter” Jay Darring. That match also included Zack Malibu, Crystal, The Blurricane, Ragdoll, and the Champion at the time, Calvin Szechstein. And out of those 7 Superstars, only PRL and Zack are STILL competing in the OAOAST almost five years later! COACH Sadly. COLE PRL had to wait almost two years later to get his next World Title shot, against Popick, at November Reign on November 27, 2005. Except back then, PRL was in the midst of his record setting OAOAST 24/7 Championship reign and he and Popick were allies. The match was a pretty straight forward affair, minus some cheating from both men. Popick won that match by holding onto PR’s tights, but afterwards, PRL shook Popick’s hand and the alliance remained intact for another two years! COACH Popick should have kicked PRL out of The Lightning Crew that night! Save us all the trouble! COLE Tha Puerto Rican took on Peter Knight in another OAOAST Title Match on the March 16, 2006 edition of HeldDOWN~!, but came up short! He took on Alfdogg on the June 1, 2006 edition of HeldDOWN~!, but came up short again this time thanks to interference from Thunderkid! COACH Thanks Thunderkid for saving us from a PRL World Title reign there! COLE And then who can forget PRL’s three-way feud with Zack Malibu and Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix over the World Title back in the summer and fall of 2007! PRL came up short in their Triple Threat Match at AngleSlam on August 26, 2007, and then came literally within INCHES of obtaining the OAOAST Title belt when the three men met in a Ladder Match at Zero Hour on September 30, 2007! Landon Maddix retained the belt successfully both times, only to lose it to Stephen Joseph Popick on the Halloween Spectacular on October 31, 2007 in the biggest shocker in OAOAST history! COACH Popick shocked the world! COLE And he shocked the world again when he successfully retained the Title in that Triple Cage Match that included Zack, Landon, Bohemoth, “Urban Legend” Todd Cortez, and PRL at November Reign on November 25, 2007. And just 5 days later on HeldDOWN~!, Popick and The Lightning Crew betrayed PRL, soon turning into the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation. COACH About damn time. COLE Tha Puerto Rican’s last Title shot was on the New Year’s Spectacular on January 3, 2008. He took on Popick and The Mad Cappa in a Triple Threat Match for the OAOAST Championship. PRL had the match won, but Cappa prevented the pinfall from taking place, and Stephen Joseph took full advantage of that, pinning Cappa 1-2-3 to retain the Title once again through nefarious means! COACH Michael, do you see what you’re saying here? History has shown time and time again that PRL CAN’T win the big one! He has failed on EIGHT, count ’em, EIGHT separate occasions! What makes him think that tonight is going to be any different? If anything, it’ll be more of the same: PRL blowing his chance to win the World Title AGAIN, only this time, in front of over 100,000 fans and millions watching around the world at the biggest show of the year! It can’t get no more perfect than that! COLE Well, Tha Puerto Rican is hoping for a different story finally, here tonight! It has been a long hard road to OAOAST AngleMania VII for Tha Puerto Rican, but he has made it. He is here in the L.A. Coliseum, and he is ready to fight, and hopefully, ready to become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! COACH HA! HA! HA! Like he has a shot! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! PRL heads to a second turnbuckle and raises his hands in the air to a pop from the crowd. PRL then gets off of the second turnbuckle and walks on over to the opposite turnbuckle, not taking his eyes off of a sneering Vitamin X while doing so. Tha Puerto Rican climbs a second turnbuckle and raises his hands in the air again to another pop from the crowd. PRL says something to the fans, and then gets off of the second turnbuckle, walking on over to a third second turnbuckle, stopping to say something to Vitamin X along the way. Tha Puerto Rican hits a third second turnbuckle and raises his right fist into the air while he “smells the electricity” as a single white spotlight shines down on him ala The Rock. PRL glances over at Vitamin X, and then gets off of the turnbuckle, heading to the fourth second turnbuckle to do the same Rock pose, receiving cheers. PRL glances over at Vitamin X. X gives him the McMahon SNEER~!. COLE Can you feel it, ladies and gentlemen, wherever you are? Can you feel the emotion that we are all experiencing here? Can you feel the electricity running through the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum? 100,000-plus are on their feet hoping that tonight is the night The People’s Champion becomes the World Champion! COACH Too bad they are going to be disappointed! The Lightning Bolts in the Coliseum will NOT go home happy tonight! And I love it! COLE The #1 Contender to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship must overcome not only the Champion, but quite possibly his friends, his wife, and not to mention the Special Guest Referee to get it done! It ain’t going to be easy for The Great One here tonight! COACH ‘It ain’t going to be easy‘? It ain’t going to be possible, that’s what I think! Tha Puerto Rican gets off of the second turnbuckle. PRL glares angrily at Vitamin X as he removes his sunglasses and earring from his left ear. He hands both items over to a ringside attendant. PRL then points a menacing finger at Vitamin X and runs his mouth, but X declares that he will call the match right down the middle. PRL doesn’t believe him at all. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has guaran-damn-teed that he will win the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title tonight, but will that guarantee come true with Vitamin X as the Special Guest Referee? With Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick at ringside and who knows who else? Look, fighting Stephen Joseph Popick is bad enough. Stephen Joseph Popick IS a talented Superstar, and by hook or by crook, he HAS been World Champion since October of last year! But when you stack the deck with his wife on the outside, with the Second-In-Command of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation, the Financial Consultant for the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation, the Prince of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation as the referee, PRL might be in for the most difficult match of his entire life! COACH And that’s the way Popick wants it to be! Because he knows the more difficult it is, the more unlikely that PRL will win! It’s as simple as that! COLE Will it be the beginning of a new era in the OAOAST? Or is this going to be Popick’s greatest victory? We are about to find out! Tha Puerto Rican continues running his mouth at Vitamin X as the lights go back on inside of the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. COLE This is Tha Puerto Rican’s sixth consecutive AngleMania appearance. He has a 3-2 record at AngleMania. He first wrestled at AngleMania II on March 30, 2003 retaining the Puerto Rican Championship in a Triple Threat Match against The Mad Cappa and Naz Mistry. He lost the OAOAST Puerto Rican Championship to The Mad Cappa the very next year at AngleMania III on March 28, 2004 in that incredible, memorable match in the Pontiac Silverdome in Detroit, Michigan. Tha Puerto Rican defeated Panther in the “Rage In The Cage” Steel Cage Match at AngleMania IV: The Classiest AngleMania Ever on April 3, 2005 in what would turn out to be Panther’s last match in the Trump Plaza Hotel And Convention Center in Atlantic City, New Jersey. Four days later on the April 7, 2005 HeldDOWN~!, PRL’s record setting 24/7 Championship reign began and it lasted all the way until AngleMania V 360 days later on April 2, 2006 from the Trump Plaza Hotel And Convention Center in Atlantic City, New Jersey where Leon Rodez defeated Tha Puerto Rican in that incredible memorable Ladder Match to end the Title reign once and for all. And then last year at AngleMania VI: Etched In Stone from the Toronto SkyDome in Toronto, Ontario, Canada on April 1, 2007, Tha Puerto Rican defeated Dance Dance Dragon to win the vacant OAOAST X-Division Championship in another memorable match. Tha Puerto Rican has never won at two straight AngleManias. COACH More proof that PRL is in trouble tonight, as if I needed it! I’ve got history to back me up! COLE Well, Tha Puerto Rican is looking to make history here tonight by becoming OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion for the first time in his career! COACH What’s that saying about those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it? Well, PRL, learn from your history! You can’t win the big one and you never EVER will! Tha Puerto Rican is still running his mouth as “Know Your Role 2000” dies down. The crowd is buzzing in anticipation for the match to begin. COLE 100,000 strong are looking forward to this one match! They have waited all night for this one! COACH As I have, Cole. For different reasons, of course. Tha Puerto Rican looks at the entrance. He has his game face on. Vitamin X also looks to the entrance. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has got to be very excited right now. Main eventing his first AngleMania! COACH And main eventing his LAST AngleMania if Popick has his way, which he will! COLE Oh come on now! Tha Puerto Rican paces back and forth inside of the ring. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Grammy Award winning rapper and producer KANYEEEEEEEEEEE WESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTT! Kanye West appears on a stage next to the entrance. The crowd gives Kanye a respectable applause. Kanye has a DJ and an all-female ORCHESTRA backing him up. KANYE WEST WHAT’S UP ANGLEMANIA!? “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” KANYE WEST WHAT’S UP LOS ANGELES!? “YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” “Work itmake itdo itmakes usharderbetterfasterstronger” KANYE WEST Now, now, now that don’t kill me can only make me stronger I need you to hurry up now cause I can’t wait much longer I know I got to be right now cause I can’t get much wronger Man, I been waitin’ all night now that’s how long I’ve been on ya As “Stronger” starts playing, the crowd starts booing, knowing that this is the entrance music for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. KANYE WEST I need ya right now! (Now! Now! Now!) I NEED YA RIGHT NOW! *PYRO~!* KANYE WEST Let’s get lost tonight You can be my black Kate Moss tonight Play secretary, I’m the boss tonight And you don’t give a fuck what they all say right Awesome, the Christian in Christian Dior Damn, they don’t make ‘em like this anymore (More) I ask cause I’m not sure Do anybody make real shit anymore? Bow in the presence of greatness Cause right now thou hast forsaken us You should be honored by my lateness that I would even show up to this fake shit So go ahead, go nuts, go ape shit Especially in my pastel, on my bape shit Act like you can’t tell who made this New gospel, homie, take six, and take this, haters (Haters) At this point, someone starts rising from the stage. That someone is the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, Stephen Joseph Popick. The 100,000 + give Popick the loudest boos of the night as he slowly rises up from the stage while Kanye West raps the chorus to “Stronger”. KANYE WEST Now, now, now that don’t kill me can only make me stronger I need you to hurry up now cause I can’t wait much longer I know I got to be right now cause I can’t get much wronger Man, I been waitin’ all night now that’s how long I’ve been on ya *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* The crowd boos loudly. Stephen Joseph Popick is wearing a long black sleeveless robe with red vertical stripes in addition to his usual entrance attire of a black shirt, sunglasses and a crucifix around his neck. He has the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt strapped around his waist. Popick strikes a crucifix pose on the stage, an evil smile on his face. KANYE WEST I need ya right now! (Now! Now! Now!) I NEED YA RIGHT NOW! (Right now!) Popick jogs on over and high fives Kanye West. He then walks down the steps on the stage and then walks on over to the aisle. Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick is at the entrance herself, dressed in a dark blue tanktop, a dark blue short skirt, a gold necklace, a silver necklace, and a beaded necklace around her neck, diamond earrings, a butterfly hair clip on her jet black hair with pink highlights, gold bracelets on her wrists, an expensive gold watch on her right wrist, her wedding ring on her right ring finger, and black heel shoes. Lindsay has her hands on her hips as she watches her husband appear in the aisle. White pyro comes cascading down as Stephen Joseph holds his arms out in a crucified position. KANYE WEST Me like it I don’t know if you got a man or not If you made plans or not If God put me in your plans or not I’m trippin’, this drink got me sayin’ a lot *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* Stephen Joseph turns around, an evil smile on his face. He points to his wife, and Lindsay walks down to join her husband, an evil smile on *her* face. Lindsay kisses Stephen Joseph. Stephen Joseph Popick then laughs evilly. Stephen Joseph Popick continues his walk to the ring arms linked with Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick. The Popicks both have evil smiles on their faces. KANYE WEST (CONT’D) But I know that God put you in front of me so how the hell could you front on me? There’s a thousand youse, there’s only one of me I’m trippin’, I’m caught up in the moment, right (Right) Cause it’s Louis Vinton Don night So we gon’ do everything that Kan like Heard they do anything for a Klondike Well, I’d do anything for a blonde dyke And she’ll do anything for the limelight And we’ll do anything when the time’s right Uh Baby, you’re makin’ it harderbetterfasterstronger Stephen Joseph Popick makes sure that no one touches him or Lindsay as he continues his long walk to the ring. KANYE WEST Oh! Now, now, now that don’t kill me (Oh!) can only make me stronger (Oh!) I need you to hurry up now (Oh!) cause I can’t wait much longer (Oh!) I know I got to be right now (Oh!) cause I can’t get much wronger (Oh!) Man, I been waitin’ all night now that’s how long I’ve been on ya Stephen Joseph Popick taunts some fans. Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick leads Stephen Joseph Popick up the ring steps, Stephen Joseph getting a good view of Lindsay's nice ass as she does this. Lindsay stands on the ring apron, a smile on her face. Stephen Joseph then rubs his hands together for some reason, and then jogs up the ring steps. The male Popick chuckles as soon as he gets onto the top ring step. He then uses the ring post to climb up the turnbuckle closest to him. KANYE WEST I need ya right now! (Now! Now! Now!) I NEED YA RIGHT NOW! (Now!) You know how long I’ve been on ya Since Prince was on Apollonia Since OJ had Isotoners Don’t act like I never told ya Don’t act like I never told ya Uh Don’t act like I never told ya Don’t act like I never told ya Don’t act like I never told ya Uh Baby, you’re makin’ it harderbetterfasterstronger Stephen Joseph Popick scales the turnbuckle. He has his right foot on the top turnbuckle. Popick scans the crowd for fans, any fans, of his. He doesn’t find any amid the over 100,000 in attendance so he just chuckles. Stephen Joseph then looks at the crowd with a smirk on his face. KANYE WEST Now, now, now that don’t kill me can only make me stronger I need you to hurry up now cause I can’t wait much longer I know I got to be right now cause I can’t get much wronger Man, I been waitin’ all night now that’s how long I’ve been on ya Stephen Joseph hops off of the turnbuckle into the ring. Popick taunts the fans, and then laughs manically. He then holds the ropes for Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick to enter the ring. Lindsay slowly enters the ring underneath the top ring rope giving Popick a good view of her cleavage. Lindsay outstretches her arms and has a smile on her face. Stephen Joseph points to Lindsay and says, “SHE’S MINE! SHE’S ALL MINE!” as “Stronger” continues playing. KANYE WEST I need ya right now! (Now! Now! Now!) I need ya right now! (Now! Now! Now!) I need ya right now! (Now! Now! Now!) I need ya right now! (Now!) You know how long I’ve been on ya Since Prince was on Apollonia Since OJ had Isotoners Don’t act like I never told ya You know how long I’ve been on ya Since Prince was on Apollonia Since OJ had Isotoners Don’t act like I never told ya Stephen Joseph Popick walks around the ring holding hands with Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick. PRL stands in the ring watching the two of them. The Popicks have evil smiles on their faces as they walk around the ring hand-in-hand. The male Popick taunts the fans at ringside. Vitamin X just looks on. KANYE WEST told ya told ya never told ya told ya told ya never told ya told ya told ya never told ya told ya told ya never told ya Never over Never over Never over Never over Never over Never over Never over Stephen Joseph Popick gives his wife a kiss on the lips. He then tells her to step aside. Popick walks with a swagger to the center of the ring. He sings along with “Stronger” as he gets ready to do something. “harderbetterfasterstronger” Stephen Joseph Popick smiles evilly. He then points to a ringpost with his left hand. Stephen Joseph Popick then points to the opposite ring post with his right hand. Popick has an evil grin on his face as “Stronger” comes to an end. “Never over” Stephen Joseph Popick points to the sky and a HUGE burst of pyro explodes in the ring. Followed by a hell of a lot more pyro exploding in the ring. Popick smiles evilly as “Stronger” comes to an end. KANYE WEST Thank you very much! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The fans boo loudly, not because of Kanye West’s performance (well maybe partially), but because it’s Stephen Joseph Popick’s theme song. Stephen Joseph mouths, “Did you like that!? I know you did! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!” Vitamin X and Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick look on as Popick taunts the crowd. COACH Wow! What an entrance! THAT is a Champion’s entrance! THAT is how a Champion enters the ring! COLE Stephen Joseph Popick is making only the SECOND AngleMania appearance of his career. He competed at AngleMania II five years ago on March 30, 2003 as Big Poppa Popick defeating Alfdogg to win #1 Contendership to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. However, he has appeared at AngleMania IV, AngleMania V and AngleMania VI as Tha Puerto Rican’s manager and “Career Consultant”, something that he obviously no longer is! COACH And good thing too! Popick is showing us how great he is in the ring once again! And he’ll show us how great he is once again in just a few moments! Stephen Joseph Popick removes his long black sleeveless robe with red vertical stripes and hands it over to a ringside attendant. Popick then removes his sunglasses and then hands them over to the same ringside attendant. Popick taunts the crowd, and then sneers at them, before removing his black shirt and handing it to the ringside attendant. Popick then removes his crucifix, kisses it, and then hands it over to the ringside attendant. COLE Popick, an OAOAST Original. PRL, an OAOAST veteran in his own right. Outside of his 8-month stint in prison back in 2004, he has competed in the OAOAST non-stop for five years STRAIGHT! But with exactly ZERO World Heavyweight Titles to his credit! That can all change tonight! COACH Nah, it won’t! The crowd is hot! They are already chanting, “P.R.!” Stephen Joseph Popick stretches in one corner of the ring. He pulls on the ropes. Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick stands by eyeing Tha Puerto Rican with disgust on her beautiful face. Tha Puerto Rican warms up on the opposite turnbuckle corner, staring at the Popicks with a serious expression on his face. Vitamin X tries to give PRL some last minute instructions, but he ain’t listening. COLE Now, let’s go to the ring where Michael Buffer is standing by for the ring introductions! Michael Buffer stands in the center of the ring wearing a white tuxedo with a black bowtie, an expensive watch on his right wrist, black dress pants, and black dress shoes. He has a microphone in his right hand and cue cards in his left hand. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the MAIN EVENT of OAOAST AngleMania VII and is for the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship! Introducing first at this time, the Special Guest Referee for this match. He is the Financial Consultant, Second-In-Command and Prince of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation. VITAMINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN EXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX! Vitamin X politely waves to the huge crowd. The crowd greets The X-Man with nothing but LOUD boos! X still waves anyway. COLE Yeah, he is aligned with the Corporation. Will that lead to Popick’s victory here tonight? COACH No, his talent will lead to his victory here tonight! BUFFER And now the competitors. First, to my left, the challenger. Wearing red, white, and blue, the colors of his native Puerto Rico. Standing 5 feet 9 inches and weighing in at 220 pounds. (Crowd cheers) From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Tonight, he looks to capture the biggest prize in professional wrestling, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship, for the first time in his 10 year career. Tonight he looks to gain the biggest victory of his 10 year career on the grandest stage of them all. And tonight he intends to obtain this victory against a man he once called his manager, “Career Consultant” and friend. (Crowd cheers louder) Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the #1 Contender to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. He is one-half of The Badd Boyz. He is greatness personified. The Most Electrifying Man In Professional Wrestling, The Great One, The Latin Lion, The P.R. Menace, the one…the only…THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” PRL steps out and “smells the electricity”. He then raises The People’s Eyebrow. PRL then smiles and waves to the fans, blowing them kisses too. PRL then waves some more. He then walks back to the turnbuckle corner. COLE No question who the fan favourite for this match is! COACH Boo! Boo! BOOOOOOOOOOO! COLE Oh, will you stop!? BUFFER And his opponent. Standing to my right. Wearing all black. Accompanied to the ring by his wife and manager, the former One And Only AngleSault Thread Women’s Champion Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick. Standing 6 feet 2 inches and weighing in at 225 pounds. (Crowd boos) From Atlanta, Georgia. Tonight, he looks to successfully retain the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship for another day and prove that he is better than his opponent once and for all. (Crowd boos louder) Tonight, he looks to defeat the man whose career he guided for three years into many victories and championships except the one that he is holding right now. And tonight, he looks to achieve victory in his first AngleMania main event. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the reigning and defending One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the Woooooorrrrllllllllllllllddddddddddddddddd! The Most Hated Man In The OAOAST. The one…the only…he is STEPHHEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNN JOSSSEEEEEPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH POOOOPPPPIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOO!” Stephen Joseph Popick raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head with an evil smile on his face. The crowd boos lustfully against Popick. Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick applauds her husband and screams out, “THAT’S MY MAN! THAT’S MY MAN! WOO!” Popick nods his head and says, “Thank you! Thank you! I feel the love! I really do!” COACH Yea! Yea! Yea! Go get him Popick! Yea! Popick rocks! WOOOO! Yeah! Go Popick! Let’s go Popick! WOO! COLE Would you pipe down!? You sound really pathetic! COACH Not as pathetic as you normally sound, so at least there’s that! Stephen Joseph smiles at Tha Puerto Rican. PRL just stares at him. Popick chuckles, and then slings the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his right shoulder. BUFFER And now, with all of that out of the way, there is only one question left: ARE YOU READY!? “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” BUFFER Wrestling fans…ARE…YOU…RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADY!?!? “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” BUFFER Then, for the hundreds of thousands in attendance here in the sold out Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum in Los Angeles, California, and the millions watching around the world. Ladies and gentlemen…LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET’S GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHH!” COACH Here we go baby! I’ve been waiting all night for this one! Michael Buffer leaves the ring. COLE It doesn’t get any bigger or more exciting than this! This is the main event of the biggest show of the year! This is the main event of OAOAST AngleMania VII, and the over 100,000 fans in the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum are hoping that they will be seeing history being made tonight! COACH They will! They will see Popick go 2-0 at AngleMania! The beginning of a fantastic streak if you will! COLE Oh come on! COACH What? The crowd is buzzing, anxious for the bell to ring. Stephen Joseph Popick gets a kiss good luck from Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick. He then holds the ropes for Lindsay to leave the ring. This time, Lindsay leaves the ring underneath the second ring rope and then walks down the ring steps. She stands at ringside watching the match. COLE Lindsay has got the best seat in the house! COACH And so do I! Damn, look at that body! Wow! That body is just poured into that dress! COLE Coach, get your head in gear! This is the main event of AngleMania VII! It’s game time! COACH Right. Right. But DAMN! I love the way that dress looks on her! I’d love how that dress would look on the floor of my bedroom too, if you catch my drift! COLE Will you stop!? COACH All right. Fine! Go Popick! Win it for your smoking hot wife! Stephen Joseph blows a kiss to his wife. Vitamin X then tells him to hand him the belt. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Certainly X. Stephen Joseph Popick kisses the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and then hands it over to Vitamin X. X walks over with the belt over to Tha Puerto Rican, showing him the belt. PRL touches the belt. X smirks at PRL. Vitamin X walks around the ring, raising the belt over his head to let the fans know that this is an OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship match. VX then hands the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt to a ringside attendant who then places it on the timekeeper’s table next to the timekeeper. COLE And that’s what it’s all about! The OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! The belt that every Superstar in this company strives for. But tonight, March 30, 2008, only two men have the opportunity to take that belt home with them. Tha Puerto Rican looking to win that Title for the first time in his career, while Stephen Joseph Popick looks to have a successful Title defense at the biggest show of the year! “ASSSS-HOLE!” “ASSSS-HOLE!” “ASSSS-HOLE!” “ASSSS-HOLE!” “ASSSS-HOLE!” “ASSSS-HOLE!” “ASSSS-HOLE!” “ASSSS-HOLE!” "ASSSS-HOLE!" "ASSSS-HOLE!" Stephen Joseph sneers at the crowd. COACH Idiots! A graphic appears on screen letting the people watching OAOAST AngleMania VII on television know that this match is for the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship. COLE So much on the line in the main event here at OAOAST AngleMania VII from the sold out Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum in Los Angeles, California! COACH I’m so excited! I can’t wait for this match to start! Vitamin X pats down Stephen Joseph Popick. Popick has a cocky smirk on his face. He stares at PRL as he’s being patted down. X says, “Clean.” Popick nods his head and says, “You’re damn right.” to Vitamin X. X then goes over and pats down Tha Puerto Rican. X goes to pat him down some more, but PRL lunges after him, and X quickly changes his mind. VITAMIN X Okay. Okay. You’re clean! You’re clean! COACH Now why’s he gotta threaten the referee like that!? COLE PRL doesn’t trust Vitamin X in that role, Coach. COACH But why? COLE Didn’t Buffer tell you why? COACH I wasn’t paying attention to him, I was too busy staring at Lindsay. DAMN! COLE Oh come on! Coach, get your head in gear! COACH Sorry. Sorry. But--DAMN! COLE COACH! COACH Sorry. Vitamin X gives Stephen Joseph Popick last minute instructions. Popick nods his head. He has a cocky smirk on his face. Popick jumps up and down in place in a turnbuckle corner. Vitamin X gives Tha Puerto Rican last minute instructions. Tha Puerto Rican just stares at Popick from the opposite turnbuckle corner with a serious expression on his handsome face. Finally, Vitamin X calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* MAIN EVENT OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK (Champion with Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick) vs. THA PUERTO RICAN (Challenger) SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE: VITAMIN X The crowd cheers loudly. PRL and Popick still stare at each other from the opposite turnbuckle corners. COLE And here we go! The bell has sounded! The main event of OAOAST AngleMania VII can begin! On October 31, 2007, Stephen Joseph Popick shocked the world by defeating Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix to win the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title for the second time in his career! He has held the Title for the past 152 days. He is hoping to extend that to 153 days! COACH And he will! I have 100% confidence in him that he will get the job done here at AngleMania VII! COLE Well, look who’s the referee. COACH AGAIN with that crap! Look, Vitamin X will call it right down the middle! I know he will! I have 100% confidence that he will! COLE Actions speak louder than words, Coach. We’ll see how he calls this match right now! COACH Okay then. LET’S GO POPICK! Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick stare at each other. Popick has stopped jumping up and down in place. But he still has a cocky smirk on his face. COLE The hatred these two men feel is incredible. At one time, close allies, close friends. Now, they are bitter enemies. COACH And it’s all PR’s fault! COLE How so? COACH He never became World Heavyweight Champion! If he had at least ONE Title reign to his credit, then none of this would ever happen! But PRL just can’t win the big one! COLE He can win the big one if he beats Popick tonight! COACH HA! Yeah, and monkeys might fly out of my BUTT! Stop staring at my BUTT, Michael. COLE Sorry. PRL slowly walks on over to the center of the ring. Popick slowly walks on over to the center of the ring. PRL stares at his former manager and “Career Consultant”. COLE The first one-on-one meeting between Popick and PRL in almost three years. The first time these two met was on the December 9, 2003 edition of IntenseZone when Popick defeated PRL in the first round of the tournament to crown the first ever OAOAST Adrenalin Champion. Remember THAT Title? And then of course, there is the match they had for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title at November Reign 2005. PRL is 0-2 against Popick! COACH And he will be 0-3 after tonight! WOO! PRL and Popick circle each other in the ring. Vitamin X looks on. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK You. Me. Right here. Right now! Take your best shot! Stephen Joseph Popick goes for a punch--BLOCKED! PRL fires off with a Rock-style punch to the temple! And another! Popick fires with a punch of his own! PRL fires with another punch of his own! Popick fires with a punch of his own! PR! Popick! PR! Popick! A slugfest erupts between the two men! COLE And here we go! PR! Popick! OAOAST Championship! The main event of AngleMania VII! It doesn’t get any bigger than this! Stephen Joseph knees P.R. in the stomach! He then punches him in the face several times! The punches stagger Tha Puerto Rican! COACH And just like that, Popick is in control! The punches take PRL into a turnbuckle corner. Popick punches P.R. in the face! He then kicks him in the stomach! He then goes back to punching PRL in the face several times. PR punches SJ in the face! Popick punches back! PRL punches back! Another slugfest erupts, but soon Tha Puerto Rican gains the advantage with several punches of his own! Puerto keeps firing with Rock-style punches to the temple! Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! BLOCKED! Popick grabs PRL, and then throws him into another turnbuckle corner! COACH Oh yeah! Popick going to work on The People’s Chump right now! Popick goes for a punch--BLOCKED! Tha Puerto Rican nails SJP with a punch which knocks him down onto the mat! COACH Aw crap! Popick gets up…and gets punched back down onto the mat! Popick gets up again…and gets punched back down onto the mat again! Popick gets up, so PRL grabs his former ally by his left hand and then whips him, PRL holds on and gives Popick a back elbow knocking him down onto the mat! COACH AAH! That almost knocked his teeth out! COLE And I don’t think Tha Puerto Rican cares if Popick loses any teeth at all! COACH Not even a little? COLE Nope! Popick slowly gets back up, 100,000-plus fans cheering loudly. SJ rests on a turnbuckle corner. But not for long as PRL punches Stephen Joseph in the face several times! He then grabs Stephen Joseph by his left hand and then whips him into the opposite ropes. PRL goes for a clothesline, Popick ducks, stops in his tracks, turns around, and kicks PRL in the stomach. He then grabs PRL and applies a front facelock on him. Popick then places PRL’s left arm over his head. COLE Uh-oh! He could be going for the FallenAngel here! COACH Do it! Do it! PRL pushes Popick into a turnbuckle corner! He then rams Popick into the turnbuckle! And again! And again! And again! He then starts stomping a mudhole in Stephen Joseph Popick! COLE Tha Puerto Rican laying the smackdown on Stephen Joseph Popick here in the early going! PRL stomps on Popick until he is lying on the mat! VITAMIN X Hey! Hey! Hey! Vitamin X pulls Tha Puerto Rican away from Popick! X tries to take PRL into the opposite turnbuckle, but PRL pushes VX away from him! COLE Look at this! Vitamin X putting his hands on Tha Puerto Rican! And for what!? COACH He was choking Popick! COLE He was not! COACH Yes, he was! PRL yells at X about pulling him off of Popick, but X tells PRL that he’s the referee therefore he should do what he says. COACH Careful PRL. He can disqualify you and then you CHOKE again! COLE I wouldn’t put it past X to do that, quite honestly. COACH There you go, besmirching X’s character! God, what biasness! PRL sneers at X, but then notices Popick getting up out of the corner of his eye. So he charges forward with a clothesline, but Stephen Joseph ducks, turns around, grabs Puerto, and gives him a high angle neckbreaker! COLE A Popick trademark on Tha Puerto Rican! COACH All right, Popick! Knock him down a peg or two! Or three! Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick applauds her husband from the outside. As does Vitamin X inside of the ring. Both PRL and Popick lie on the mat in pain. COLE Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick already feeling the effects of this match in the early going! COACH Come on Popick! Lindsay is watching! Make her proud! PR and Popick slowly start getting up. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” SJP gets up first. He grabs PRL…PRL gives Popick a back suplex! COLE What a move from Tha Puerto Rican! He countered Popick! COACH He got lucky here! He just got lucky! P.R. gets up. He nails Popick with a Rock-style punch to the temple! He then nails Popick with another one! PRL bounces off of the ropes, charges forward, Popick grabs PRL and throws him over the top rope and onto the floor! PRL rolls on over to the announce table, his back hitting it! COLE PRL thrown to the outside by Stephen Joseph Popick! COACH Remind you of Anglepalooza, PR? PRL screams out in pain! He holds his back in pain as Stephen Joseph exits the ring and walks on over to where PR is lying. He grabs Puerto, and then slams his face onto the top ring step! SJ chuckles as he watches PRL groan in pain. He then grabs P.R.L. and then lifts him up, dropping him on top of the announce table! PRL collapses onto the protective mats! COACH Ooh! PRL hit that hard! HA! HA! COLE Why doesn’t Vitamin X start a 10 count--oh wait. COACH Stop. COLE Is this legal? That’s not legal! COACH Will you stop whining? PRL breathes hard on the outside. Vitamin X tells Stephen Joseph to get back into the ring, which he does. Suddenly, the crowd starts booing loudly. Because Cuban Wall is walking to the ring! COLE Hey, wait a minute! Cuban Wall slowly walks around the ringside area until he is in the same vicinity as Tha Puerto Rican. Wall then picks up PRL just as he’s getting up. COLE Wait a minute! COACH Help him back into the ring, Wall! Cuban Wall holds PRL by his head and long red tights…and then throws him into a ring post! PRL stumbles into a barricade! COLE Oh come on now! COACH THAT’S for stealing his Title shot away, Puerto! COLE Cuban Wall has come out here, and surprise surprise, he interferes in favor of Popick! COACH He’s just getting what he deserves as far as I am concerned! PRL rests on the barricade. That is until Cuban Wall grabs Tha Puerto Rican by his head and tights and then throws him back into the ring! As this is going on, Popick and Vitamin X are having a conversation, not paying attention to what just happened on the outside. PRL lies on the mat while Popick and X shake hands and then hug. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH Awww! That’s so sweet! COLE Oh come on now! This is pretty blatant favortism right there! COACH What? Can’t Vitamin X and Stephen Joseph show some love for each other? MANLY love of course! COLE Not in the middle of the MAIN EVENT of AngleMania VII! COACH You’re a cold man, Cole. A cold man. Popick covers PRL. He hooks the right leg. Vitamin X counts. COACH Here we go! The dream is crushed! 1... 2... RIGHT SHOULDER UP!!!! COACH Oh. Popick sits up, disappointed that that wasn’t it. Vitamin X puts up two fingers. He says, “Sorry boss. Two!” COACH Now, Cole, you cannot claim that that was a fast count! It was not! COLE It wasn’t a fast count. But that shouldn’t matter after Cuban Wall came out here and ran Tha Puerto Rican into the ring post that Vitamin X conviently did not see! COACH Hey, he was sharing some love with Popick! Nothing wrong with that! COLE It is when he is supposed to be calling this match! COACH You cold as ice, man! Cold as ice! Stephen Joseph Popick picks Tha Puerto Rican up. He slams his head into a top turnbuckle pad. Popick then starts stomping on Tha Puerto Rican in the turnbuckle corner. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” Popick continues kicking PRL in the stomach. But then Tha Puerto Rican nails Popick with a punch! Popick fires with a punch! Punch from PRL! Punch from Popick! Punch from PRL! Punch from PRL! Punch from PRL! Popick knees PRL in the stomach! VITAMIN X Yeah! Popick punches PRL in the face! He then takes PRL into the ropes, and then gives him an Irish whip into the opposite ropes. Popick goes for a clothesline, Tha Puerto Rican ducks, charges forward, bounces off of the opposite ropes, ducks Popick’s clothesline, bounces off of the opposite ropes, charges forward, right into an inverted atomic drop from Stephen Joseph Popick! Popick then follows that with a clothesline knocking PRL down to the mat! He goes for the cover, hooking PR’s right leg. Vitamin X makes the count. 1!2! KICK OUT!!! COLE That was a pretty quick count there! COACH Please stop whining Cole! That’s all you’re concerned about! Vitamin X puts up two fingers and then says, “COME ON POPICK!” Popick slaps the mat in frustration. Popick gets on top of PRL and starts hammering away at him. COLE Popick with those hard right hands on Tha Puerto Rican! Cuban Wall looks on as Popick picks Tha Puerto Rican up, and then applies a front facelock on him. He puts PR’s left arm over his head, grabs his tights, and then gives him a vertical suplex onto the mat! COLE Beautiful suplex onto the mat as it appears that Cuban Wall is staying for the rest of this match! COACH He’s got a front row seat to Popick’s big victory! Vitamin X applauds Popick for the suplex. Popick then picks PRL up. He gives him a stalling neckbreaker onto the mat! Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick applauds Stephen Joseph while Cuban Wall looks on with a serious expression on his face. Stephen Joseph covers PRL, hooking his right leg. Vitamin X makes the count. 1... 2... KICK OUT!!! POPICK Shit, X! Come on! Popick covers Tha Puerto Rican again, this time hooking his left leg. Vitamin X counts. 1... 2... KICK OUT!!! Popick covers PRL again, hooking his right leg again! Vitamin X counts. 1! 2! KICK OUT!!! COLE Even with a quicker count Tha Puerto Rican kicked out! COACH DAMNIT! VITAMIN X DAMNIT! COACH Whoa, weird. Cuban Wall is shocked that PRL kicked out of the fast count. CUBAN WALL DAMN IT! COME ON X! COME ON! COLE There were three near falls, and the count, seemingly to me, got quicker everytime! COACH You’re just seeing things! I think you may need glasses! VITAMIN X Keep going! Stephen Joseph gets up. PRL is resting on a turnbuckle, so Popick punches PRL in the face several times. The punches get PRL dazed. “PO-PICK SUCKS!” “PO-PICK SUCKS!” “PO-PICK SUCKS!” “PO-PICK SUCKS!” COACH HE DOES NOT SUCK! COLE According to these fans, he does! COACH What do they know!? BAH! Popick continues nailing Tha Puerto Rican with punches to the face! PRL fights back with a punch of his own! He fires with another punch! And another punch! And another punch! PRL grabs Popick’s left hand and then whips him into the opposite ropes--NO!--Popick reverses, PRL bounces off of the ropes, into a Sleeperhold from Popick! COACH Uh-oh! COLE Sleeperhold applied on Tha Puerto Rican! Popick has the Sleeperhold cinched in on Tha Puerto Rican! PRL flails his arms around as Popick continues applying the Sleeperhold on him! COACH Get that Sleeperhold locked in real tight! Cut off all of the oxygen to his head! Make him suffer! Make him go to sleep! Vitamin X checks on PRL. PRL falls to his right knee. VITAMIN X I think he’s gonna give up! I think he’s gonna give up! Cuban Wall looks on as Popick continues applying the Sleeperhold on Tha Puerto Rican. PRL weakly tries to grab the ropes, but is unable to. The crowd is hot. Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick roots her man on. Tha Puerto Rican falls to both of his knees, still in the Sleeperhold. COLE Vitamin X checking Tha Puerto Rican! If he falls out, Popick retains the Title! COACH PRL is going to sleep! PRL is going night-night! HA! HA! HA! Tha Puerto Rican falls to the mat, still in the Sleeperhold. Popick falls to the mat himself, still cinching the submission hold tight. Vitamin X checks on Puerto. COLE PR is fading fast! His hopes, his dreams of becoming OAOAST Champion could be coming to an end here! COACH They are, Michael! They are! He has no shot now! No chance! No Chance In Hell of winning! None at all! Cuban Wall roots Popick on. Vitamin X continues checking on Tha Puerto Rican. PRL is barely moving now. The crowd is worried that this is the end of the match. Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick has an evil smile on her beautiful face. COACH This is it! This is the end! No World Title for you tonight, P.R.! None whatsoever! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! COLE PRL might be out of it! Vitamin X checks on Tha Puerto Rican. He then raises PRL’s left arm into the air. It falls. “ONE!” COACH That’s one! Vitamin X checks on Tha Puerto Rican. He then raises PRL’s left arm into the air again. It falls again. “TWO!” COACH That’s two! COLE One more and Popick wins this match at AngleMania VII! COACH Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Vitamin X checks on Tha Puerto Rican. He then raises PRL’s left arm into the air a third time. COACH Here it comes! It falls-- NO!!! Tha Puerto Rican keeps his left arm up in the air! “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” VITAMIN X Damn. COLE Look at Tha Puerto Rican! He still has signs of life! He is NOT letting this opportunity pass him by! He wants to become World Heavyweight Champion tonight by any means necessary! COACH The harder he tries, the harder he will fall! PRL starts shaking his left arm, so Popick puts his feet on the top ring rope (which Vitamin X doesn’t notice by the way). COLE Hey! Popick can’t keep his feet on the top rope for long and soon, both of his feet are back on the mat. He still has the Sleeperhold applied on Tha Puerto Rican. COACH You can’t call what you can’t see, Cole! Vitamin X checks on PRL. Cuban Wall paces back and forth on the outside. VITAMIN X Just give up, Puerto. You know you’re gonna lose! COACH You heard the man, Puerto! Or should I say The X-Man! COLE Since when are referees allowed to trash talk during a match? COACH Just one of the many reasons why Vitamin X is the best referee ever! COLE Oh please. CUBAN WALL CHOKE HIM OUT, POPICK! Vitamin X raises PRL’s left arm into the air. It fal--NO! It stays up in mid-air! COLE PRL trying to hang on here! COACH Oh no! PRL shakes his left fist. He then gets onto his side, still in the Sleeperhold! PR sits up, still in the Sleeperhold! PRL then gets onto both knees. Then his left knee. Then he stands up straight in a vertical base, all while still in the Sleeperhold! COACH How is this possible!? COLE He is using his heart, his strength, and his motivation to fight back! He wants to win the World Title BADLY here tonight at AngleMania VII! PRL stands up. He punches Popick in his stomach. He does it again, breaking the Sleeperhold! PRL attacks Stephen Joseph Popick with Rock-style punches to the temple! COLE PRL knows it’s now or never! Tha Puerto Rican bounces off of the ropes, right into a clothesline from Popick! COACH It’s never. Popick covers PRL, hooking his left leg. Vitamin X makes the count. 1... 2... LEFT SHOULDER UP!!! VITAMIN X SHIT! Popick slaps the mat in frustration! POPICK COME ON! PRL slowly gets up. Popick stands up, takes a deep breath, and then goes over to where PRL is resting so that he can punch him in the face several times. He then kicks PRL in the stomach a few times as well! He then goes back to punching PRL. POPICK COME ON PR! HUH!? COME ON! Popick climbs the second turnbuckle. POPICK YOU WANNA BE CHAMP, P.R.!? HUH!? YOU WANNA BE CHAMP!? COLE I don’t think I’ve ever seen Popick so focused before! COACH He wants to beat PRL once and for all here tonight! Stephen Joseph punches Tha Puerto Rican in the head on the second turnbuckle. COLE Hard, hard right hands on the challenger! Popick continues punching PRL in the head on the second turnbuckle. That is until Tha Puerto Rican grabs Popick by his black wrestling pants, and then pulls him off of the second turnbuckle, falling down to the mat, dropping Popick’s head on the top turnbuckle pad in the process! COACH Uh-oh! COLE Popick may have been a little overconfident there and it cost him! He got dropped straight south by Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Popick, are you all right!? X, check on him! X does indeed check on Popick, completing ignoring Tha Puerto Rican, who is sitting up on the mat. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” PRL crawls around the mat. Cuban Wall and Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick look on with concern on their faces. PRL sits on the mat again. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has brought himself some time much to the dismay of Cuban Wall and Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick! COACH Boy, you love to say that don’t you? Look at poor Lindsay! The look of concern on her sweet little face! I gotta go comfort her! COLE Coach, stay. COACH But-- COLE Stay, Cole. Stay. COACH Damn! Vitamin X is still checking on Popick. Tha Puerto Rican is slowly getting up. He is breathing hard and sweating profusely. PR is up first, so when Popick gets up, P.R. greets him with a Rock-style punch to the temple! And then another one! PRL continues hitting Popick with Rock punches to the crowd’s delight! Vitamin X watches as PRL shoves Popick into the ropes, grabs him by his left hand, and then delivers an Irish whip into the opposite ropes--Popick reverses, PRL bounces off of the opposite ropes, Popick goes for a clothesline, PRL ducks, charges forward, bounces off of the opposite ropes, Popick bounces off of the ropes and charges forward, DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE OF DOOM~!!! COLE Man, what a collision that was! Both men had the same idea! COACH No. Popick had the idea. PR just copied him! COLE Oh, will you stop!? Vitamin X checks on both men. COACH Look at X! I don’t think he knows what to do now! You don’t wanna have a double countout in the main event of AngleMania! COLE You sure don‘t! Although knowing X, he just might do that to save Popick’s Title! Vitamin X continues checking on both men. He then starts a 10 count. VITAMIN X ONE! TWO! THREE! COME ON! WAKE UP POPICK! FOUR! COME ON WAKE UP POPICK! FIVE! COME ON! COME ON! WAKE UP! Vitamin X tries to wake Popick up as he counts. COLE Look at X trying to help his boss! X trying to help! Why in the hell is he patting Stephen Joseph on the leg? COACH Because he loves him. No homo. He loves him like a brother! COLE He can do that AFTER the match, Coach! COACH Why wait? This is AngleMania! Being watched by millions around the world! X wants to show his love for Popick, no homo, on the grandest stage of them all! No homo. PRL and Popick both get to their sides at the same time. Popick rolls around the mat, while PRL slowly crawls to the ropes. The OAOAST Starbucks™ Double Shot Instant Replay shows the double clothesline again. COLE Tremendous clothesline from both men! They BOTH took the burnt of that one! PRL uses the second ring rope to pull himself up. Popick uses the bottom ring rope to pull himself up. COLE PRL pulling himself back up! COACH Come on Popick! Beat the count! Get back to work on PRL! PRL slowly gets back to a vertical base. VITAMIN X SIX! SEVEN! MRS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ-POPICK COME ON BABY! VITAMIN X EIGHT! Tha Puerto Rican is on his feet, but he is suffering from fatigue now. PRL wipes the sweat off of his forehead. He then takes a deep breath and then walks to the nearest turnbuckle--GETTING HIT IN THE HEAD WITH THE OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP BELT ON THE WAY THERE BY CUBAN WALL! COLE Hey! Wait a minute! COACH All right, Wall! Tha Puerto Rican falls onto the mat, spread-eagle! Cuban Wall quickly jumps off of the ring apron with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his hands! The crowd boos loudly! COLE Cuban Wall just hit Tha Puerto Rican with the Title belt! COACH That’s the closest that he’s ever going to get to the Title belt! HA! HA! HA! Vitamin X was paying attention to Stephen Joseph, who is still lying on the mat. He turns around just in time to see PRL laying flat on the mat! VITAMIN X Now’s your time! Now’s your time! Cover him! Cover him! COVER HIM NOW! COLE Cuban Wall just nailed PR with the OAOAST Title belt! And now Vitamin X is telling Popick point blank to cover him right now! COACH The dream is over! PRL is gonna choke AGAIN! And at AngleMania VII to boot! Vitamin X motions for Popick to make the cover. Popick has an evil smile on his face as he crawls towards Tha Puerto Rican. COLE Cuban Wall trying to screw PRL out of the World Heavyweight Title! COACH Just like PRL SCREWED Cuban Wall out of the World Heavyweight Title shot tonight! This should have been the CORPORATE AngleMania! But NOOOOOOOO! Stupid PRL! The crowd boos as Popick crawls closer and closer to Tha Puerto Rican. X whispers in Popick’s left ear to hurry up and cover PRL. Cuban Wall has an evil smile on his face as he watches from the outside. Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick nods her head and smiles evilly. COLE All Popick’s gotta do is cover Tha Puerto Rican and it’s over! COACH Yes! PRL CHOKES AGAIN! Stephen Joseph Popick places his right arm over Tha Puerto Rican’s chest. Vitamin X makes the count. 1! 2! LEFT SHOULDER UP!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHH!” COLE How quick was that count!? The OAOAST Starbucks™ Double Shot Instant Replay shows Cuban Wall’s ::beltshot:: on Tha Puerto Rican. Vitamin X was checking on Stephen Joseph Popick while this happened. COACH Look at X. He’s very busy here. COLE Uh-huh. Back in real time, Vitamin X slaps the mat in frustration. Both PRL and Popick lie on the mat for a few seconds. Then, they both start moving. COLE The bottom line is that Cuban Wall hit Tha Puerto Rican in the head with the OAOAST Title belt, Vitamin X did a fast count, and Tha Puerto Rican STILL kicked out! COACH He got lucky there! But his luck is just about to run out real, real REAL soon! Stephen Joseph gets up first. He bends down to catch his breath. PRL uses the top ring rope to pull himself up back to a vertical base. A “P.R.!” chant starts up again. PRL uses the top ring rope to maintain his balance, just in time for Popick to walk on over to him and punch him in the face in a turnbuckle corner. COACH Here we go! Back to work! Popick is going back to work on The People’s Chump! COLE I don’t even think Tha Puerto Rican knows where he is! He’s going on guts and instincts here! Popick punches PRL in the face several times. He goes for a punch--BLOCKED! PRL grabs Popick and then throws him into the turnbuckle! He then starts hitting his former manager and “Career Consultant” with Rock-style punches to the temple! Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! Popick jumps up in the air on that last punch! COLE Tha Puerto Rican laying the smackdown on Stephen Joseph Popick! COACH Come on Popick! Don’t give up now! PR grabs Popick by his left hand and then whips him into the opposite turnbuckle--NO!--Popick reverses, PRL hits the turnbuckle back-first HARD! But PRL fires back with a clothesline, knocking Popick down onto the mat! COLE What an impact that was! COACH Oh man! Popick quickly sits up. He uses the second rope to bring himself back to his feet. PRL plays to the crowd, and then goes over to Popick, grabbing him and scooping him up for a bodyslam! Popick escapes, and starts punching PRL in the face! He does it again and again and again! The punches stagger Tha Puerto Rican. Popick grabs Tha Puerto Rican’s left hand and then gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. Popick goes for a clothesline, Tha Puerto Rican ducks the clothesline, stops in his tracks, turns around, waits for Popick to turn around, kicks him in the stomach, grabs him, and cradles him up. Cradle DDT! COACH Damn it! COLE PRL with the Esto Daño De La Cogida De La Voluntad! COACH Oh damnit! COLE This should be all! COACH Aw! That is all! PRL goes for the cover. He hooks Popick’s left leg. The crowd cheers. But Vitamin X won’t count. COLE Count him! What are you waiting for!? The crowd boos the loudest they have booed the entire match. Vitamin X just stands there, arms folded, shaking his head. Tha Puerto Rican looks up at him, furious. VITAMIN X Nope. Nope. Not gonna do it! Nope! COLE Count him! Why isn’t he counting him!? COACH Remember when you screwed Lindsay out of the Women’s Title, PRL!? This is payback for you! Karma’s gonna get you, Puerto! Karma’s got you! Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick can’t help but chuckle watching this. Vitamin X mouths off to a shocked and angry PRL, who is still covering Popick. COLE Count him! Count him! Damnit! Count him! COACH HA! HA! HA! I love this! PRL is getting what he deserves right now at AngleMania VII FINALLY! Vitamin X is still shaking his head. PRL stops covering Popick and gets up. He immediately starts yelling at Vitamin X. However, X points to his referee shirt, and reminds PR that only he can decide who wins and who loses this match-up. COLE Vitamin X flat out REFUSING to make the count! COACH Yeah! Listen PRL! He’s the authority in this match, and you will RESPECT HIS AUTHORI-TAH~! Tha Puerto Rican yells at VX. X yells back. COLE This is not right! There’s no excuse for this! COACH Yes there is. PRL screwed Lindsay out of the OAOAST Women’s Championship three weeks ago! COLE So what!? COACH So, this is just desserts for Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Oh come on! PRL looks at the crowd. The crowd boos. PRL nods his head. Vitamin X has an evil grin on his face. PRL has a slight grin on his face too…because he nails Vitamin X with a punch sending him over the top rope and onto the floor! COACH AAH! COLE Yeah! Give it to him! Give it to him! COACH X-MAN! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT!? The crowd explodes with cheers! Vitamin X rolls all the way over to the announce table, the left side of his head hitting the announce table! COLE Tha Puerto Rican just nailed the referee! COACH He’s the referee! Leave him alone! Popick clotheslines PRL over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE And Stephen Joseph Popick just nailed Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Good! Teach him for hitting the referee, Popick! PRL falls to the protective mats on the outside right next to Vitamin X. Cuban Wall and Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick stand together and look on with determined looks on their faces. Popick exits the ring and grabs Tha Puerto Rican. Popick taunts PRL, sneering at him as PRL stands up. Popick then grabs PR’s left hand and then whips him into the ring steps! PRL hits the ring steps right shoulder first HARD! PRL collapses onto the floor! COLE And now Tha Puerto Rican’s shoulder may be cracked! COACH His chances at becoming World Heavyweight Champion become slimmer and slimmer by the second! PRL breathes hard on the floor, in tremendous pain. Vitamin X is still withering in pain on the floor also. Popick bends down to take a deep breath. He then stands up straight. Popick runs his hands through his blonde hair, and then wipes the sweat off of his forehead, flicking it at some of the fans at ringside. COACH Talk about a great souvenier! COLE Ugh. Popick looks at his wife and blows her a kiss. Lindsay blows a kiss back. Popick then winks at her and gives her a cheesy thumbs up with his right hand. Popick nods his head at Cuban Wall. Wall nods back and smiles evilly. Popick chuckles, and then starts disassembling the announce table. COACH Uh-oh. Look out! The crowd starts booing. Popick removes a TV monitor and then throws it onto the floor. Popick then goes over and picks Tha Puerto Rican up. Vitamin X gets up and removes the other TV monitor and throws it onto the floor. COLE Oh the referee just removed the monitor! That’s nice! That’s objective! COACH He’s protecting Tha Puerto Rican! He doesn’t want him to get seriously injured here! COLE Somehow I seriously SERIOUSLY doubt that! VITAMIN X PUT HIM ON THERE! Stephen Joseph Popick drags Tha Puerto Rican over to the announce table. Popick slams PRL’s head on top of the announce table. Michael Cole and Jonathan “Da Coach” Coachman move out of the way. COLE Uh-oh! Get out of the way here! COACH Yikes! Popick punches PRL in the face! Vitamin X roots him on. Popick taunts PRL. COLE I can’t believe this! This is pathetic! COACH This is great! Come on Popick! Popick punches PRL a few more times. He then throws him onto the top of the announce table. He then punches PRL some more in the face with his right fist! VITAMIN X That’s it! That’s it! COLE This is nothing more but a team effort to make sure that Tha Puerto Rican doesn’t become the Champion! COACH How can you call it a team effort? X’s not doing anything! COLE That’s my point! He ain’t doing anything! He didn’t count Popick’s shoulders down when Tha Puerto Rican had the pinfall! VITAMIN X Right there! Right there! You got ‘im! Yeah! That’s it! X whispers something into Popick’s right ear. He tells him, “Maybe you should go up.” Popick takes another deep breath, and then climbs onto the top of the announce table himself. COLE Oh God. This is going to be bad! COACH No! It is going to be SUPER great! Stephen Joseph Popick stands on top of the announce table. He picks Tha Puerto Rican up. The crowd starts booing loudly. COACH Here we go! COLE PRL in serious trouble here! Stephen Joseph places PRL in a front facelock. He then places PRL’s right arm over his head. COLE Could be going for the FallenAngel here! COACH Do it! Do it! FallenAngel on the table! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is helpless! Tha Puerto Rican can’t defend himself here! COACH Do it! Do it! Do it! DO IT! Stephen Joseph Popick grabs Tha Puerto Rican’s long red tights, and then lifts him up--Tha Puerto Rican won’t budge! Popick tries to lift Tha Puerto Rican up again--Tha Puerto Rican STILL won’t budge! As Vitamin X looks on, Popick tries to lift Tha Puerto Rican up once again--THA PUERTO RICAN ESCAPES POPICK’S GRASP! THA PUERTO RICAN HOOKS POPICK UP! The crowd comes alive! COACH What the--!? Vitamin X gets on top of the announce table! He tells PRL not to do what he thinks he is going to do. Vitamin X waves his hands all around, shaking his head saying, “NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! DON’T DO IT! DON’T DO IT! DON’T DO IT!” Tha Puerto Rican responds to this by grabbing Vitamin X by his referee shirt and pulling him right behind Popick! COLE Wait a minute! No way! COACH NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! Tha Puerto Rican looks at the crowd. He has Stephen Joseph Popick AND Vitamin X hooked! LATIN SLAM THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE ON STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK AND VITAMIN X~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” The crowd goes wild! Tha Puerto Rican, Stephen Joseph Popick and Vitamin X lie in the wreckage of the announce table! Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick is absolutely SHOCKED at what she just saw! Cuban Wall can’t believe it either! “HO-LEE SHIT!” “HO-LEE SHIT!” “HO-LEE SHIT!” “HO-LEE SHIT!” PRL coughs. So does Popick. Michael Cole and Jonathan Coachman stand there stunned! Vitamin X squirms on the concrete. MRS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ-POPICK ARE YOU ALL OKAY!? The crowd is still going nuts following the Latin Slam Sandwich with Popick as the meat! Tha Puerto Rican rolls to his side. He is in some pain of his own, but not as much as Popick or Vitamin X! Popick rolls to his side. Cuban Wall doesn’t know what to do. PRL sits up next to the barricade. CUBAN WALL BOSS, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT!? DAMN IT! GET UP! COME ON! PRL crawls a few inches away from the wreckage of the announce table. Popick is still on his side. Vitamin X is still lying on his back. All three men are breathing hard. MRS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ-POPICK STEPHEN! X! Lindsay is near tears at this point! Popick is moving his arms around. The OAOAST Starbucks™ Double Shot Instant Replay shows Tha Puerto Rican’s Latin Slam Sandwich on Stephen Joseph Popick and Vitamin X. We see the Latin Slam from another angle. We return to live action with Tha Puerto Rican getting up. He shoves Michael Cole aside. PRL stops to rest on the barricade, causing the crowd to cheer. Popick starts to sit up, his eyes glazed over. He starts to move forward when Tha Puerto Rican picks him up slowly. PRL makes sure to walk over Vitamin X, who is still in pain on the floor and has not moved a muscle since the Latin Slam. CUBAN WALL DAMNIT! COME ON X! COME ON POPICK! The crowd applauds PR for coming back. Puerto drags Popick by his blonde locks back into the ringside area, throwing him underneath the bottom rope and back into the ring. PRL takes a deep breath. He rests his head on the ring apron. He then slides underneath the bottom rope into the ring. COLE Are we on? Are we on? Looks like we are back on fans. That INCREDIBLE Latin Slam sandwich knocked out our headsets for a second! COACH Is X all right!? He’s not moving! He’s lying right next to me and he is not moving! COLE I don’t know! It looks like Vitamin X took the burnt of that Latin Slam! COACH PR, you idiot! You’ve got no referee! YOU knocked out the referee! COLE Vitamin X is hurt! COACH I KNOW HE’S HURT! I CAN SEE HE’S HURT WITH MY OWN TWO EYES MICHAEL! PRL takes another deep breath. He then gets up. PRL stumbles a little bit, but then gets his balance. He then goes towards Popick, who is sitting up on the mat. COLE Tha Puerto Rican can barely stand! He has gone through hell just tonight in his quest to win his first World Heavyweight Title! COACH Somebody stop him! This isn’t good! This is not good at all! PRL sneers at Popick. However, just as he is about to punch Popick, Cuban Wall grabs PRL from behind! COLE Wait a minute! Cuban Wall is in the ring! Cuban Wall is in the ring! COACH Hey! The referee is knocked out! Anything goes! Cuban Wall has a tight grip on Tha Puerto Rican. He refuses to let go. Stephen Joseph Popick uses the second turnbuckle to pull himself up. COLE This isn’t right! This isn’t right at all! COACH He’s getting what’s coming to him! He asked for this for knocking out Vitamin X! COLE He did not! That’s ridiculous, Coach! COACH No way! And I am going to enjoy this! Stephen Joseph Popick is halfway up. He uses the top ring rope to pull himself to a vertical base. He has a cocky smirk on his face as he stands up right. Cuban Wall taunts PRL while holding him back! COLE What’s Popick going to do now? Cuban Wall has PRL trapped! He can do anything he wants to him! COACH He is going to finish him! Finish him once and for all! SJP motions for Wall to “Bring him to me.” Popick then climbs onto the bottom turnbuckle. He then pushes himself onto the second turnbuckle. Popick stands up tall on the second turnbuckle. He motions for Wall to hand him PRL. CUBAN WALL Happy landing! Cuban Wall pushes Tha Puerto Rican right into the waiting arms of Stephen Joseph Popick. Popick applies a Full Nelson on PRL. The crowd boos. COLE Uh-oh! This looks bad! COACH Come on! Come on! PRL tries to fight out of the Full Nelson, but is too weak. The crowd boos louder as Popick, an evil grin on his face, jumps off of the second rope, pulling PRL over in a Full Nelson Suplex. However, he shifts PRL’s location so that he lands on his ass, giving PRL a Stone Cold Stunner in the process! PRL flops down onto the mat, knocked out! Finality! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO!” MRS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ-POPICK YES! COACH FINALITY! FINALITY! HE HIT IT! HE HIT IT! YES! YES! YES! THE MATCH IS OVER! THE MATCH IS OVER! COLE Aw damnit! Finality! Popick hit his move! COACH IT’S OVER! IT’S FINALLY OVER! THA PUERTO RICAN HAS CHOKED AT ANGLEMANIA VII! HE HAS BLOWN HIS SHOT AGAIN! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! Cuban Wall pumps his fists in victory! However, when he goes to get Vitamin X, he sees that The X-Man is still knocked out. CUBAN WALL Crap! COLE The match is over, but we got no referee! COACH X is out! Damnit! Cuban Wall sees that Vitamin X is not even moving a muscle, so he decides to go to Plan B. CUBAN WALL COME ON! COME ON! COME ON! NOW! NOW! NOW! COLE Stephen Joseph Popick scored with the Finality but X is down! Cuban Wall is waving for somebody to come ou--Oh crap! The Bone Thug and Thomas Rodriguez come out, The Bone Thug wearing a referee shirt! COLE Of course! Of course! The Corporation already has a referee! How could I have forgotten that!? COACH Thomas Rodriguez is going to referee the main event of AngleMania VII! Awesome! COLE And The Bone Thug!? What’s he doing there!? COACH One inside referee, and one outside referee! Duh! Thomas Rodriguez and The Bone Thug zoom down the aisle, and then they both slide underneath the bottom rope and into the ring. COLE I don’t believe this! This is a travesty! Tha Puerto Rican is going to get screwed in the main event of OAOAST AngleMania VII this way! You gotta be kidding me! COACH Here we go! The dream is going to get crushed! Stephen Joseph Popick covers Tha Puerto Rican. He hooks his left leg. Cuban Wall stands in the ring and watches with an evil smile on his face. Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick watches from the outside with an evil smile on *her* face. Vitamin X is still knocked out in the remains of the announce table. Thomas Rodriguez and The Bone Thug both make the count while the crowd boos. COACH THE DREAM IS OVER! THOMAS RODRIGUEZ & THE BONE THUG ONE! TWO! RIGHT SHOULDER UP!!!!!!! COACH WHAT!? COLE I DON’T BELIEVE IT! COACH HE KICKED OUT! COLE PRL KICKED OUT OF THE FINALITY! COACH YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! Cuban Wall cannot believe it! Neither can Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick! Thomas Rodriguez and The Bone Thug are stunned too! But they quickly shake it off and start stomping on Tha Puerto Rican! Spanish Fly, Rock Hard Brickston, Mr. Boricua, Cuban Wall, and Stephen Joseph Popick all join in! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Oh come on! COACH The gang’s all here! COLE The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation is out here! And they are assaulting Tha Puerto Rican! Princess Stacey comes out to check on Vitamin X. The rest of the Corporation minus Lindsay remain in the ring beating the hell out of Tha Puerto Rican! COLE The Corporation, the SJPC stomping the hell out of Tha Puerto Rican! COACH They’re making sure that this really IS the end! The end of the line for Tha Puerto Rican that is! The Bone Thug chokes PRL, while Thomas Rodriguez kicks imaginary dirt onto Tha Puerto Rican’s face! COLE This is an assault! This is a mugging! COACH This is great! I am loving this! The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation members stomp the hell out of Tha Puerto Rican! The Bone Thug and Thomas Rodriguez then pick the dazed and confused Puerto Rican up. COLE THIS IS NOT RIGHT! COACH OH YES IT IS! The Bone Thug and Thomas Rodriguez hold PRL in place while Stephen Joseph Popick kicks PRL in the stomach repeatedly. The crowd boos loudly. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is being demolished here! COACH Tha Puerto Rican is being demolished in the biggest match of his life! He is falling on his face at AngleMania! This couldn’t be more perfect! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is going to get screwed in the main event of AngleMania VII! I can’t believe it! COACH Oh happy day! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! Popick bounces off of the ropes and then punches PRL right in the face! Thomas and Bone Thug let PRL go and he drops onto the mat! PRL is kissing the canvas now! Popick turns PRL onto his back and then gets on top of him so that he can start pummeling his face with right hands! The rest of the SJPC watch their leader at work. COLE Tha Puerto Rican in the same situation he has been in since November 30, 2007, at the mercy of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation! COACH Second verse same as the first! Cuban Wall calls for something. Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick hands Wall a steel chair! Wall thanks Lindsay. Lindsay says, “Anytime!” COLE Stephen Joseph Popick is going to put Tha Puerto Rican out for good! COACH And thank goodness for that! Thank God! Cuban Wall has the steel chair in his hands. COACH Look at Wall! Cuban Wall wants a front row seat! Popick is still beating on Tha Puerto Rican when Cuban Wall calls for Popick to stop. Popick looks up and sees the steel chair. He laughs manically. COACH Or he’s going to put the icing on the cake! One of the two! Stephen Joseph Popick gets off of Tha Puerto Rican. He then watches him struggle to get up. After a few seconds of that, he picks Tha Puerto Rican up. COLE You call this fair, Coach!? You call this fair!? COACH I can’t really call this! That’s your job! The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation members step aside. Cuban Wall sneers at Tha Puerto Rican. He does a few practice swings with the steel chair. Stephen Joseph Popick holds Tha Puerto Rican up. Wall has an evil smile on his face. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK HIT HIM RIGHT HERE! Cuban Wall has a sneer etched on his face. COLE Look at Cuban Wall! Look at the look on his face! He’s going to bust Tha Puerto Rican open! He’s going to bust Tha Puerto Rican open! COACH DO IT! DO IT! POPICK DO IT! HIT HIM RIGHT HERE! HIT HIM RIGHT HERE! CUBAN WALL THIS IS FOR TAKING AWAY MY TITLE SHOT! Cuban Wall swings the steel chair… *WHAM!* …and hits Tha Puerto Rican right over the head with it! Stephen Joseph Popick drops Tha Puerto Rican, and he falls right onto the mat! CUBAN WALL YEAH-UH~! COLE Oh my! COACH Whoa man! Whoa! He put everything he had into that chairshot right there! Cuban Wall taunts Tha Puerto Rican after the chairshot! The crowd boos loudly! The members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation laugh evilly inside of the ring. COACH Payback’s a bitch, Puerto! COLE Well this is over. This has gotta be over! No way can Tha Puerto Rican bounce back from this! He has taken way too much already! The SJPC are all over him like leeches! This is just what the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation wanted! COACH This is just what I wanted too! This really is the end! The end of Tha Puerto Rican‘s dream! The end of Tha Puerto Rican’s career! The end of Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Popick has got PRL right where he wants him! PRL is down and out! He is not moving! The Corporation has got him surrounded! Thomas Rodriguez and I guess The Bone Thug are the referees now! Popick can make the pin and win this thing, retain the Title at AngleMania VII! COACH And that is EXACTLY what he is going to do! EXACTLY! HA! HA! HA! Cuban Wall drops the steel chair onto the mat. He then walks with a swagger around the ring, an evil smile on his face. PRL lies flat on the mat, spread-eagle. THOMAS RODRIGUEZ PICK HIM UP! PICK HIM UP! THE BONE THUG ARRIBA LA RAZA~! Cuban Wall kicks the steel chair out of the ring. Stephen Joseph Popick heads on over to a turnbuckle corner. He climbs the bottom turnbuckle and then pushes himself onto the second turnbuckle. Popick stands up tall on the second turnbuckle. He motions for someone to bring him PRL. COLE And now he’s going for another Finality. COACH FINISH HIM! Thomas Rodriguez and The Bone Thug pick the dazed and confused Puerto Rican up. They smile evilly as they walk with Tha Puerto Rican towards Popick. COLE Finality is coming up. COACH Oh yeah! I can’t wait! THIS IS GOING TO BE AWESOME! STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK WHEN I HIT IT, I WANT YOU TWO TO COUNT TO THREE! YOU HEAR THAT!? DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!? COLE Popick giving Thomas Rodriguez and The Bone Thug orders here! COACH They’ll be good CORPORATE referees too! COLE Oh come on! Thomas Rodriguez and The Bone Thug hand Tha Puerto Rican over to Stephen Joseph Popick. Popick applies a Full Nelson on PRL. The crowd boos loudly. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is knocked out! He’s struggling to even stand up straight! COACH This is just like last Thursday! Stephen Joseph Popick has no problem applying the Full Nelson on Tha Puerto Rican this time. The crowd is antsy, hoping that this isn’t the end for Tha Puerto Rican. Popick stands up tall on the second turnbuckle, the Full Nelson applied on PRL. Thomas Rodriguez, The Bone Thug, Cuban Wall, Spanish Fly, Rock Hard Brickston, and Mr. Boricua all stand in the ring and watch Popick with evil smiles on their faces. Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick watches from the outside. She nods and grins evilly. Princess Stacey is still checking on Vitamin X on the outside who is still lying flat in the wreckage of the announce table. COLE He’s going for it! He’s going for it right here! COACH This is the end! This is the end! This is the end game! This is the final out! This is the last stand! THIS IS IT! Goodbye PRL! Goodbye People’s Chump! Goodbye Great One! Goodbye P.R. Menace! Goodbye LOSER! It wasn’t nice knowing ya! GOODBYE THA PUERTO RICAN! GOODBYE THA PUERTO RICAN! GOODBYE! Stephen Joseph Popick taunts Tha Puerto Rican one more time. COLE Popick’s gonna hit PRL with another Finality! COACH Do it! Just do it already! I can’t wait! COLE PRL is SOL now! COACH I know! COLE He can’t escape from this! COACH No he can’t! COLE PRL is in a bad way here! COACH Oh yes! Oh yes he is! I CAN’T WAIT! I CAN’T WAIT! I CAN’T WAIT! Stephen Joseph Popick continues taunting Tha Puerto Rican while still applying the Full Nelson on him while standing on the second turnbuckle. Suddenly, the crowd comes to life. And REALLY loudly too! Because THE MAD CAPPA runs down the aisle carrying a steel chair in his right hand! COACH WHAT THE HELL!? COLE The Mad Cappa! The Mad Cappa is here! COACH WHAT IS HE DOING HERE!? HE IS NOT ON THE CARD! COLE The Mad Cappa is here at AngleMania VII! Stephen Joseph Popick exits the ring! He charges towards Cappa, but The Mad Cappa kicks Popick in the stomach! Popick is bent over, so The Mad Cappa lifts the steel chair over his head and then SLAMS the steel chair across Popick’s back! COACH OH NO! Popick collapses onto the floor! The Mad Cappa laughs at him, and then walks towards the ring. The Bone Thug charges forward, so The Mad Cappa kicks him in the stomach, and then SLAMS the steel chair over The Bone Thug’s head! COLE Chairshot for The Bone Thug! The Mad Cappa then nails Thomas Rodriguez over the head with the steel chair! COACH Chairshot for Thomas Rodriguez! COACH THOMAS! BUDDY! The Mad Cappa runs with the steel chair in his hands. He slides underneath the bottom rope into the ring! COLE The Mad Cappa is here! CHAIRSHOT FOR ROCK HARD BRICKSTON! CHAIRSHOT FOR SPANISH FLY! CHAIRSHOT FOR MR. BORICUA! Cuban Wall is helping Vitamin X get up. The Mad Cappa waits for Vitamin X to turn towards him. CHAIRSHOT FOR VITAMIN X! COLE Down goes Vitamin X! Again! CHAIRSHOT FOR CUBAN WALL! Cuban Wall stumbles through the first and second ropes, falling out of the ring and onto the protective mats on the outside! Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick and Princess Stacey look on from the outside in horror at The Mad Cappa’s destructive path! The crowd is going crazy! PRL is still down on the mat. COLE The Mad Cappa has taken out most of the Corporation! COACH YOU STAY AWAY FROM LINDSAY AND STACEY, CAPPA! COLE The Mad Cappa has taken out 8 of the 10 Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation members in one fell swoop! COACH AAH! SOMEBODY HELP THEM! ANYBODY! ANYBODY HELP THEM! The Mad Cappa taunts Vitamin X and Cuban Wall. He chuckles at both members of Brains & Brawn, and then sneers at them. The Mad Cappa taunts the members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation, the male members of the group all being in horrible pain right about now. COLE The Mad Cappa has taken out the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation! Revenge for all those months of screwjobs and misery! COACH OH GOD DAMNIT! THIS IS UNBELIEVEABLE! The Mad Cappa taunts the members of the SJPC some more. COLE The Mad Cappa is standing tall at AngleMania VII! And he is HELPING Tha Puerto Rican in the process! COACH We’re living in a bizarro world, Cole! Cappa HELPING PRL!? WHY!? COLE Gratitude, Coach! Gratitude for helping him a few times in the past few months! COACH AW! The Mad Cappa is still taunting the members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation, including Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick and Princess Stacey. He then exits the ring with the steel chair still in his hands underneath the bottom rope. The Mad Cappa stops to flip the fallen Cuban Wall a middle finger. He then walks back up the aisle. Lindsay and Princess Stacey make sure not to get in his way. The Mad Cappa exits through the entrance. Mr. Boricua, Rock Hard Brickston and Spanish Fly all roll out of the ring in horrible pain. Meanwhile, Stephen Joseph Popick slides underneath the bottom rope into the ring with a steel chair in *his* hands. COLE Wait a minute. Popick’s got a chair! COACH Yeah! Get him Popick! Get PRL! Stephen Joseph Popick swings the chair… Tha Puerto Rican ducks the chairshot! COLE Swing and a miss! COACH Oh no! Tha Puerto Rican stops in his tracks, turns around, kicks Popick in the stomach causing Popick to drop his steel chair onto the mat, grabs Popick, applies a front facelock on him with his left arm, grabs Popick’s black wrestling pants with his right hand, looks at the crowd with a smile on his face, and then jumps up…and down DRILLING Stephen Joseph Popick’s head into the mat with a Jumping DDT a.k.a. the P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE P.R. Nightmare! P.R. Nightmare! P.R. Nightmare on Stephen Joseph Popick! COACH OH GOD NO! OH DEAR GOD NO! Tha Puerto Rican KIPS UP~! PRL runs his mouth as the crowd goes crazy! He points down to Popick, does the “You can’t see me!” hand gesture, and then runs his mouth some more. Puerto then grabs Popick by his hands and then drags him into the center of the ring. PRL then runs his mouth some more. He then looks to the crowd…and then kicks Popick’s right arm onto his chest. COLE Here it comes! Here it comes! COACH Oh no! Oh God no! Oh no! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! Tha Puerto Rican grabs his right elbow pad, removes it from his arm, and then throws it into the crowd. As the fans fight over the prized elbow pad, PRL does some weird hand signals that are still hard to describe five years later, and then runs backwards into the ropes, hits the ropes, bounces off of the ropes, charges forward, jumps over Stephen Joseph Popick, runs forward… COLE It is now time for the most electrifying move in professional wrestling, The Puerto Rico Elbow! …PRL hits the ropes, bounces off of the ropes, charges forward, stops in his tracks, puts his right foot into the air, extends his right arm into the air…and then drops his right elbow into Stephen Joseph Popick’s chest! The Puerto Rico Elbow! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE The Puerto Rico Elbow connects! The Puerto Rico Elbow connects! Tha Puerto Rican connects with The Puerto Rico Elbow on Stephen Joseph Popick! An AngleMania Puerto Rico Elbow on Stephen Joseph Popick! Tha Puerto Rican hits Stephen Joseph Popick with The Puerto Rico Elbow! COACH THIS ISN’T HAPPENING! The crowd goes crazy! Tha Puerto Rican covers Stephen Joseph Popick, hooking his left leg. COACH There’s no Vitamin X! There’s no Cuban Wall! There’s no Thomas Rodriguez! There’s no Bone Thug! There’s no Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation! COLE We need a referee! We need one immediately! Senior OAOAST Referee Earl Hebner sprints down the aisle as fast as he can! The fans are going nuts. COLE Here comes Senior Referee Earl Hebner! COACH He’s not the referee for this match! COLE He’s a Senior Referee! That’s all that matters! COACH No! No! No! No! Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick and Princess Stacey look on worried outside of the ring. Vitamin X has rolled out of the ring and onto the floor. Cuban Wall is just starting to get up, a little dazed from the chairshot to the head. Spanish Fly, Mr. Boricua and Rock Hard Brickston are all on the outside, holding their heads in pain. Thomas Rodriguez and The Bone Thug are still in the aisleway, barely moving a muscle. Earl Hebner slides into the ring underneath the bottom ring rope. He then stands up, walks a few steps, and then quickly gets down on his hands and knees and makes the count. The crowd counts along. COLE Count it Earl! Count it! COACH NO! 1... 2... 2 ½ 2.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (18:22) “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE HE DID IT! HE FINALLY DID IT! THA PUERTO RICAN IS FINALLY WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! All 100,000 plus fans in the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum go nuts! Tha Puerto Rican bursts into tears! “Know Your Role 2000” starts playing. BUFFER Here is your winner…and NEW One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the Woooooorrrrllllllllllllllddddddddddddddddd…THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! COLE He has done it! After 10 long years, Tha Puerto Rican has become World Heavyweight Champion! Tha Puerto Rican’s journey has culminated at OAOAST AngleMania VII! COACH OH GOD! THIS IS AWFUL! COLE Tha Puerto Rican has gone through hell and high water! But he has become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion for the first time in his career! COACH THIS IS TERRIBLE! Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick is crushed! Princess Stacey can’t believe it! Cuban Wall sneers at PRL. COLE The Corporation’s plan backfired! Tha Puerto Rican survived all 10 members to take the OAOAST Title away from Stephen Joseph Popick! Stephen Joseph Popick’s World Heavyweight Title reign has come to an end at 4 months, 29 days! And he has lost the Title to his former client, Tha Puerto Rican! COACH OH GOD! THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING! Earl Hebner grabs the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt from the timekeeper. Earl Hebner hands the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt to Tha Puerto Rican. PRL is on his knees crying when the Senior OAOAST Referee hands him the OAOAST Title belt. PRL grabs ahold of the belt and then holds it close to his heart. Tha Puerto Rican sits on the mat and stares at the center gold plate on the belt as “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing. COLE The dream has come true! After months of being SCREWED, PRL has finally reached the mountaintop! He is now the holder of the richest prize in our industry! He is now OUR World Heavyweight Champion! COACH Ugh! I think I am going to be sick! COLE This is the greatest moment of Tha Puerto Rican’s career! An OAOAST mainstay, he has failed at World Title matches until tonight! Tonight, at AngleMania VII, Tha Puerto Rican FINALLY won the big one! He has FINALLY ended that dry spell! He can finally get rid of the ’Choke Artist’ label! At long last, Tha Puerto Rican IS the World Heavyweight Champion! And he did it at AngleMania VII! COACH I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! PRL stands up, holding the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his left hand. “Know Your Role 2000” has to be restarted. PRL kisses the belt. Earl Hebner raises Tha Puerto Rican’s hands in victory to the crowd’s delight. PRL is still crying his eyes out. COLE An emotional moment for Tha Puerto Rican! All that hard work, all those sacrifices, all the pain, all the blood, sweat, and tears that he shed over the past 10 years! It has all been worth it! It has led to this moment! Tha Puerto Rican, after all these years, is FINALLY the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! And these people here love it! COACH WHO CARES ABOUT THEM!? CHECK ON POPICK! CHECK ON VITAMIN X! CHECK ON THE CORPORATION! THEY’RE MORE IMPORTANT THAN PRL! COLE Not now they aren’t! Not now! THIS is PRL’s moment in the sun! THIS is his night! With a little help from The Mad Cappa, PRL has achieved his dream! COACH FIND MAD CAPPA! BRING HIM BACK OUT HERE SO THAT THE CORPORATION CAN KICK HIS ASS! PRL looks down at Stephen Joseph Popick, who is crawling out of the ring a defeated man. PRL is too emotional to chuckle at him. Popick crawls out of the ring onto the protective mats on the outside. PRL wipes some tears from his eyes, and then waves bye-bye to Popick. COLE I don’t know where The Mad Cappa came from, but he saved the day for Tha Puerto Rican! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!? COACH NO! THIS BITES! COLE The Mad Cappa came out here and kicked corporate ass and Tha Puerto Rican with the P.R. Nightmare and The Puerto Rico Elbow is now, for the first time ever, the OAOAST World Champion! Earl Hebner has also left the ring. This leaves PRL all alone in the ring with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his left hand. The camera does a wide pan of the thousands in attendance standing up and cheering Tha Puerto Rican on as “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing. PRL manages to crack a smile amidst all of his tears. He gives the fans The People’s Eyebrow, and then raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head to a LOUD pop from the crowd! Tha Puerto Rican lets out a primal scream, tears of joy flowing down his face. COLE He has dreamed about this moment for a long time, and now it has finally happened! PRL stands in the ring The Man! He is now the top dog! The head cheese in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! He has the top Title, and he is now the most chased after Superstar in this company! COACH This is the darkest day in the history of the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! PRL is the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! BLEGH! COLE PRL has finally done it! It took him nine tries, but he has finally done it! Tha Puerto Rican GUARAN-DAMN-TEED a victory! He made the Promises Of Promises to The Lightning Bolts! And he kept his word! The OAOAST World Championship belongs to The Great One now! Tha Puerto Rican looks around the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. He holds the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his left hand. He wipes tears from his eyes and mouths, “Thank you.” COLE Listen to this ovation! The Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum has erupted! Tha Puerto Rican is on top of the mountain for the first time EVER! Stephen Joseph Popick’s 2nd OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship reign is OVER! He has been dethroned by Tha Puerto Rican! Tha Puerto Rican’s dream of becoming World Heavyweight Champion has finally come true here at AngleMania VII! COACH Aw! Somebody check on Popick! PRL gives the fans The People’s Eyebrow again. He then walks on over to a turnbuckle corner. PRL climbs the second turnbuckle and then raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in the air with his right hand while “smelling the electricity” as a single white spotlight shines down on him. The crowd erupts at this. COLE My God, what a moment! What an AngleMania moment! Tha Puerto Rican can smell it! He can smell it here tonight! COACH I can smell it too, and IT STINKS! COLE Tha Puerto Rican can smell what these fans are cooking! COACH Oh come on! Tha Puerto Rican stands on the second turnbuckle and looks out to the crowd. PRL then gets off of the second turnbuckle and then heads on over to the opposite second turnbuckle. PRL climbs the second turnbuckle and then raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in the air with his right hand while “smelling the electricity” as a single white spotlight shines down on him. The crowd erupts at this. All 10 members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation have all headed back to the entrance, leaving PRL by himself. PRL does the same Rock-style pose on the two other turnbuckles. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! Somehow, someway! With The Mad Cappa’s help, he has done it! COACH I still STILL STILL can’t believe what I saw here tonight! COLE I can’t either, Coach. But it happened, and it happened at AngleMania VII! “Know Your Role 2000” has to be restarted again. Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose holding the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his right shoulder in the process. He screams out, “YEAH!” as he does this to the crowd’s delight! He does the HBK muscle pose while holding the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his right shoulder 3 more times. PRL stands up…and sees Colombian Heat in the ring with him. COLE And there’s Colombian Heat! The still reigning OAOAST United States Champion! COACH Maybe he’ll turn on him! We can all hope and pray that that happens! Colombian Heat is teary eyed himself. Heat applauds PRL. PRL nods his head and smiles. Colombian Heat walks over to Tha Puerto Rican and gives him a handshake. He then pulls PRL in for a hug. The crowd cheers loudly. Heat is crying himself as “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing. COLE The Badd Boyz celebrating in the ring, together, PRL’s World Heavyweight Title victory! COACH Rats! I thought he was going to turn! Colombian Heat raises PRL’s hands in victory. The crowd cheers loudly. Heat points to PRL and talks about him. PRL nods his head. He holds the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in the air with his left hand. COLE What a night for Colombian Heat also! Successfully defending the OAOAST United States Championship against Spanish Fly and forcing Spanish Fly to wear a diaper! COACH Oh no, don’t remind me! COLE Heat and PRL are best friends! They have reunited, and they couldn’t be happier! COACH I don’t know how much more of this I can take! I think I am going to be sick! COLE Just don’t throw up on me! COACH I’ll try to keep that in mind. NOT! Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat continue raising their hands in the air in victory. COLE The celebration continues here at AngleMania VII! PRL and Colombian Heat raise their hands in victory on one side of the ring. When they turn around, The Mad Cappa is in the ring! COACH Now what!? The lights go back on in the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat stare down The Mad Cappa suspiciously. The Mad Cappa stares at PRL and Heat with a serious expression on his face. “Know Your Role 2000” dies down. The crowd buzzes in anticipation of what’s going to happen next. COLE The Mad Cappa is in the ring. He helped Tha Puerto Rican win this match. But it’s not like he is friends with him or anything. COACH He’s gonna beat him up right now! In fact, they are both going to beat each other up! COLE We shall see, Coach. We shall see. The Mad Cappa continues staring at Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat. PRL and Heat stare back. PR slings the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. The crowd is antsy. COLE Their eyes tell the entire story. Do they trust him? Can they work with him? COACH Oh, just kick him in the groin and get it over with! The Mad Cappa looks to the crowd who cheer. He then looks back at PRL and Heat. COLE You can cut the tension with a knife folks! COACH Enough with the lame clichés, Michael. The Mad Cappa stares at Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat some more. Cappa looks down at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over Tha Puerto Rican’s left shoulder. He then looks up at Tha Puerto Rican. COLE We all know how much The Mad Cappa wants to become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. We also know how much Tha Puerto Rican wanted to become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. Well, it looks like Tha Puerto Rican got there first. COACH And that eats The Mad Cappa alive, Cole. That makes him green with envy! The Mad Cappa is jealous that Tha Puerto Rican got to the finish line before he did, and he’s gonna beat him up because of it right now just like in the old days! COLE I’m not too sure-- COACH I am! Go for it Cappa! I know that you’ve got it in ya! Reach down inside for all of the hatred that you feel for Tha Puerto Rican! Reach down inside and pull it all out! Pull it out all over Tha Puerto Rican’s face! Make him have hate all over his face! COACH Coach, enough! The Mad Cappa continues staring at The Badd Boyz. He then walks on over to the timekeeper. THE MAD CAPPA GIVE ME A BEER! The timekeeper throws The Mad Cappa a beer. THE MAD CAPPA GIVE ME ANOTHER BEER! The timekeeper throws The Mad Cappa another beer. THE MAD CAPPA GIVE ME ONE MORE! The timekeeper throws The Mad Cappa a third beer. COACH What’s he doing? COLE I have no clue, Coach. The Mad Cappa opens up one of the beer cans. He then walks to Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat. PRL and Colombian Heat are a little confused. COLE These three men have been unlikely allies over the past few months! COACH Hopefully, that alliance will end right here right now! The Mad Cappa pops open the other two beer cans. He looks at The Badd Boyz as he does so. COLE There is SO much history between Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa! They have fought in SO many memorable battles! They have made each other’s lives a living hell time and time again! But is this the start of a new beginning? Is tonight the end of one chapter and the beginning of another? COACH I sure hope not! The Mad Cappa has three opened beer cans in his hands. He stares at Colombian Heat and then stares at Tha Puerto Rican. The crowd is buzzing. COLE What’s going to happen here? COACH BEAT EACH OTHER UP! COLE Stop it. The Mad Cappa is still staring at The Bad Boyz. COLE This is getting real tense, folks! COACH I CAN’T WAIT ANY LONGER! The Mad Cappa looks at Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat. The Mad Cappa looks at Colombian Heat…and hands him one of the beers. The crowd cheers loudly. Colombian Heat accepts the beer without hesitation with a smile on his face! COACH Huh? The Mad Cappa then turns and looks at Tha Puerto Rican. The Mad Cappa sticks his left hand out. The crowd cheers. Tha Puerto Rican looks down at Cappa’s hand. COLE Oh, this is big. COACH What’s the meaning of all this!? COLE I suppose it’s putting the past behind them. Letting bygones be bygones? COACH No! Don’t let bygones be bygones! Don’t bury the hatchet! You two hate each other! YOU TWO HATE EACH OTHER! So keep on hating each other, and keep on fighting! That’s what I think you two should do! Tha Puerto Rican looks up at The Mad Cappa. Cappa stares at PRL. PRL looks at Colombian Heat. Colombian Heat nudges for PRL to shake Mad Cappa’s hand. COLE What’s he going to do here, Coach? COACH Hopefully sock him. Tha Puerto Rican stares at The Mad Cappa. He then looks to the crowd. The crowd cheers for PRL to shake Cappa’s hand! PRL then looks back to The Mad Cappa. He then looks to Colombian Heat. Heat is still telling PRL to shake Cappa’s hand. COACH You know in your heart what you want to do, P.R.! So just do it! COLE PRL having to make a tough decision here! COACH Just quit stalling and punch him already! Geeze! COLE PRL having to think things over here! Tha Puerto Rican looks to the crowd again. They cheer for PRL to shake The Mad Cappa’s hand. PRL thinks things over. He paces back and forth in the ring. COLE PRL having a hard time making up his mind! COACH He’s just setting The Mad Cappa up so that he can punch him in the face and/or give him the P.R. Nightmare! It’s a trap! DON’T FALL FOR IT CAPPA…wait…FALL FOR IT CAPPA! FALL FOR IT! HE’S BEING SINCERE! HE’S BEING HONEST! HE’S NOT LYING! HE’S NOT DECEIVING YOU! HE’S BEING REAL WITH YOU! HONEST! Tha Puerto Rican stares at The Mad Cappa, who still has his left hand out. COLE Coach, don’t start! Tha Puerto Rican holds the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt with his right hand. He then walks up to The Mad Cappa so that he is looking at him face-to-face. PRL and The Mad Cappa engage in a staredown with Colombian Heat looking on, drinking his beer. PRL breathes in deep. After a moment of hesitation, Tha Puerto Rican moves his left hand upwards… COLE Hey… PRL stretches out his left arm. COLE Hey… Tha Puerto Rican stares directly at The Mad Cappa… …and shakes his hand. “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH DAMNATION! COLE An historic moment here at AngleMania VII! Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa putting aside their differences, burying the hatchet here in the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum! COACH Rats! I thought that they were going to turn on each other! Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa continue shaking each other’s hands. Tha Puerto Rican soon cracks a smile, which soon becomes a full blown smile on his face! The Mad Cappa then follows suit, grinning at first, before cracking a wide smile. Colombian Heat nods and says, “Dat’s right! Dat’s right! YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH BOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!” Colombian Heat has a wide smile on his face too. The crowd cheers loudly. COLE Four years ago, Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa engaged in a classic at AngleMania III as enemies. Now, four years later, they worked together as allies to give one of them his first World Heavyweight Championship! They have ended one chapter of their lives and have begun a new one! This truly is the start of a new era here in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! COACH Ugh! I can’t believe this! First Popick loses the Title to Tha Puerto Rican, and now Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa are allies!? COLE It’s happened, Coach! And it has happened here at OAOAST AngleMania VII! COACH Ugh! The Mad Cappa pats PRL on his left shoulder. PRL pats The Mad Cappa on his left shoulder. The Mad Cappa then hands Tha Puerto Rican one of his beers. THA PUERTO RICAN Thanks. Appreciate it. Tha Puerto Rican, The Mad Cappa and Colombian Heat all have beers in their hands, so The Mad Cappa tells them something. The Badd Boyz both have smiles on their faces. Colombian Heat, The Mad Cappa, and Tha Puerto Rican all gather around in a circle. The three men look at each other…and then offer up a toast to the crowd’s delight! COACH Great, we have a World Champion that drinks. Perfect. The Mad Cappa then taps the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt with his beer can. PRL looks up and The Mad Cappa smiles! PRL smiles back and chuckles! PRL then holds up the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in the air with his right hand and then taps the belt himself with his beer can! He then offers up a toast to The Mad Cappa! Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa drink their beers at the same time! COLE They’re drinking to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title! A toast to the Title! COACH Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me! “Know Your Role 2000” starts playing again. Tha Puerto Rican slings the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. He drinks the beer from the beer can with his right hand. The Mad Cappa drinks the beer from his beer can with his right hand also. Colombian Heat drinks the beer from his beer can with his left hand just to be different. The Mad Cappa and Colombian Heat gulp down their beers, while Tha Puerto Rican takes polite sips with his. The crowd cheers. COLE The 10 year journey of Tha Puerto Rican has come to an end here tonight! He is the NEW UNDISPUTED ONE AND ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! And there is not a damn thing Stephen Joseph Popick nor his Corporation can do about it! COACH One journey may have ended, but another one has just begun! The journey in defending the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! Because as of this moment, Tha Puerto Rican is a marked man! EVERYONE is going to be gunning for him, maybe even his two ’friends’ in the ring now! COLE You are indeed right, Coach! The hunter has become the hunted! But I get the feeling, that after what Tha Puerto Rican has gone through over the past 5 months, that he is open to the new challenge that he will be facing real soon! Tha Puerto Rican climbs a second turnbuckle and then raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in the air with his left hand. He fires the crowd up some more, as though they needed help to be fired up. PRL takes a swig of beer from his beer can and then laughs. He smiles at the fans. COACH I give it two weeks. One week extra because Tha Puerto Rican will run out of the arena before the match even starts the first week! HA! HA! HA! COLE Will you stop!? Tha Puerto Rican gets off of the second turnbuckle. He heads to the opposite turnbuckle, tapping beer cans with Colombian Heat along the way. Tha Puerto Rican climbs the second turnbuckle and then raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in the air with his left hand while the crowd cheers loudly. PRL takes another swig from his beer can. COLE The Mad Cappa and Tha Puerto Rican have formed some sort of mutual bond with each other! Tha Puerto Rican, with a little help from The Mad Cappa, has beaten Stephen Joseph Popick for the first time in his career to become OAOAST Champion! COACH Keep rubbing it in why don’t ya!? COLE Tha Puerto Rican, The Most Electrifying Man In Professional Wrestling, has, at long last, become the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! COACH STOP IT! COLE No way! This is fun irritating you! COACH Ugh! This is the worst day of my entire life! COLE Sweet! COACH UGH! Tha Puerto Rican plays to the crowd on the second turnbuckle. COLE The OAOAST World Heavyweight Title reign of Tha Puerto Rican is about to begin! COACH Kill me now. COLE Nah. I want to make you suffer through it! COACH UGH! UGH! UGH! UGH! COLE HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! COACH UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Tha Puerto Rican gets off of the second turnbuckle. He then raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in the air with his left hand in the ring. The crowd cheers loudly. Colombian Heat applauds his best friend while The Mad Cappa takes a big gulp of beer from his beer can. COLE And with the help of The Mad Cappa, somehow, someway, Tha Puerto Rican has become the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion for the first time EVER! COACH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! COLE It’s official: Coach has lost his mind! COACH I…can’t…believe…it. COLE Well believe it, Coach! BEEEEEEEEELIVE IT! Tha Puerto Rican plays to the crowd who cheer loudly. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is on top of the world! COACH He will fall soon! COLE What a memorable night! A night that we will all never forget! This has been an AngleMania to remember! COACH I sure as hell would like to forget it! COLE Pipe down! Fireworks explode in the night sky over the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. Pyro goes off in various corners of the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. More pyro goes off around the exterior of the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. Confetti is blown into the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum via giant leaf blowers inside the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. Tha Puerto Rican finishes his beer and then throws the beer can into the crowd. Tha Puerto Rican raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in the air with his left hand still in the ring. Colombian Heat continues applauding his best friend. The Mad Cappa throws his beer can aside, and then calls for another beer, which he gets from the timekeeper. Cappa thanks the timekeeper for the beer, and then opens it up. He takes a giant swig from the beer can. COLE And now a fireworks display! Awesome! Fans, thank you SO much for tuning into this year’s AngleMania! We really appreciate it! Thank you for tuning into the biggest show of the year! We hope that you have enjoyed every minute of it! What an incredible, emotional, unforgettable, memorable night this has been for all of the OAOAST Superstars but ESPECIALLY for Tha Puerto Rican! The People’s Champion has become the World Champion! The PRL Era has begun here in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! We can say it now, and finally mean it, THE CHAMP IS HERE! So long, fans! We will see you on OAOAST HeldDOWN~! this coming week, and next year at OAOAST AngleMania VIII! Good night everybody! Fireworks continue exploding in the night sky over the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. Pyro continues going off in various corners of the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. More pyro goes off around the exterior of the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. Confetti continues getting blown into the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum via giant leaf blowers inside the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. Tha Puerto Rican is still playing to the fans, many of whom still haven’t left their seats yet. Colombian Heat is still applauding his friend inside of the ring. The Mad Cappa finishes chugging his beer and then throws it aside. He calls for another beer from the timekeeper, who throws him one. The Mad Cappa pops open the can and chugs the beer, spilling some more beer onto his long white shirt. Tha Puerto Rican raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt into the air with his left hand once again. Tha Puerto Rican walks around the ring raising the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in the air with his left hand. The tears have dried on his cheeks. He is breathing hard, suffering from fatigue. Our final image from OAOAST AngleMania VII is of Tha Puerto Rican, tired, in pain, breathing hard, fatigued. But, he is still happy. Because as “Know Your Role 2000” continues blaring over the P.A. system and the fans cheer loudly, he knows that one thing is for certain: Tha Puerto Rican IS the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion. Finally. FADE OUT

The Official Anglemania Cooldown Match is Brought to you by... Perhaps better then Hezbollah Spectacular? May 1st 2008 This: brings out this man, Vinny Valentine! COLE Vinny Valentine has never sucked dick for weed. While this: signals this man: As Warrior charges down the ring, with a parade of tassles and his pink fur coat flowing behind him, Vinny becomes very well aware that perhaps he picked the wrong demi-god to mess with. Thus the disco duck digs into his bags of tricks to stave off certain doom. He comes up with a young lady in the front row to stimulate WARRIOR's libido and save his own hide. The intervention of that weird alien dude saves WARRIOR from a misfortune that has cursed all men who aren't hermits. Therefore Vinny's scheme is obliterated and he's forced to facedown a mighty lariat from the lord of the Aldosterone. But, Valentine somehow manages to avoid the strike by ducking bellow WARRIOR's heavily muscled limb. Rather then try and offer his own attack and risk death, the king of the dance floor retreats to the outside to find another present for his hellish foe. Nervously scanning the area, Vinny's eyes can only come upon an ice cream cone held by a young child. Good enough for the disco duck, one supposes, as Vinny swipes the cone from the youngster. Leaving the child to bemoan his lost snack treat, Vinny returns to the ring. He beams with pleasure, certain WARRIOR can't deny the simple joys of a good dairy treat. WARRIOR certainly does, and is beside himself with disgust and rage for Vinny's insensitivity for his affliction. Amends are in the process of being constructed by Vinny's trembling lips, but he can manage little more then weak stammering and pathetic blubbering. WARRIOR wishes to hear no more of Vinny's sad pleas and swats the ice cream cone free of his hand. In dire of need of a miraculous gift from heaven, Vinny calls upon his secret weapon.... MAN EVENT SPINEBUSTER ON THE KOOL AID MAN! The citizens of LA lament the fall of the Kool Aid Man Others have ideas on what WARRIOR should do to the cowering disco duck Now besieged by a crippling sense of panic, Vinny makes an outrageous effort to get WARRIOR to spare his life, offering money, dates with Gladys Knight, cars, hand jobs, anything! But none of these gaudy offerings will sway the demi-god in his quest for flawless victory. Snarling, he drapes Vinny's far arm across his, causing the hysterical and weeping disco maven to wet himself out of fright. Fright is joined by the shame and anguish of male/male rape as WARRIOR furiously pumps lower case warrior into Vinny's flabby backside. While the crowd delights in quasi rape, WARRIOR takes him and his piss soaked tights for rollercoasteresque ride with the HUMP HANDLE SLAM CRUNCH! That would be the awful sound of Vinny's bones being shattered against the rock solid mat. The laughable tears and the grisly look of worry are absent from Vinny's face, now replaced by a blank stare as he succumbs to the bleak state of unconsciousness. WARRIOR's eyes find the bright moon hanging overhead and he shrieks and howls a triumphant song, "SPEAK TO ME SUPERMANIAAAAAACS!!" “YEAAAAAAA!” WARRIOR doesn't even bless the mutilated carcass with the dignity of hooking his leg for a fall. He simply affixes his boot atop Vinny's chest and raises his arm into the air in celebration as the referee counts the fall... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! The referee immediately calls for the bell and the cheers for pinfall rise in force! WARRIOR, treating Vinny like little more then a garden ant, dismounts the busted remains of the Disco Duck. Screaming in a language that's understandable only to him, he plays to the adoring audience through grabbing onto the ropes and wildly snapping his head back and forth. His flowing brownish blond hair whips in the cool West Coast wind, as though he were driving a convertible down the 101. COLE How about that? MISTER WARRIOR pickin' up the win on the biggest show of the year! You gotta love it! COACH No I don't. COLE I know, you're going to love what's coming up next! Our mainevent for the OAOAST World Title! OAOAST HeldDOWN America's number one choice when someone says would you rather watch kiddie porn or HeldDOWN Only On TSM

The camera pans away from a shot of the buzzing crowd to show Michael Buffer waiting in the ring. The legendary announcer smiles to himself, as the buzz of anticipation builds around him. He raises the microphone to his lips, preparing to begin his latest introduction. BUFFER Los Angeles! It is time to determine the true queen of the city of Angels! The capacity crowd puts out a gargantuan cheer, and you can almost feel the eyes of a city affixed singularly onto the stadium. COACH The most successful tag team in OAOAST history is about to get it on..only not in the way Josh Matthews' lesbian porn fetish had wished! The entrance stage has undergone quite the metamorphosis since Zack Malibu retreated up it, its flooring is coated completely by translucent tiles designed to resemble the Hollywood Walk of Fame. These tiles are not just boring static flooring. No, they flash with multicolored fancy, their whimsical illumination playing perfectly on the flickering row of rainbow lights in the entry way. The camera pans down the arrangement of stars, reading across names such as Demi Moore, Kirstin Dunst, Drew Barrymoore, Jessica Alba, Lucy Lawless, Heidi Klum, Nicole Kidman, etc. Yet its what, or who stands, on these illuminated tiles that holds the greatest intrigue; dancers, their bodies leaned to the side in subtle defiance, who look exactly alike the woman who's star they rest on. Then, as the cheers of anticipation rise, drums beats begin an authoritative roar, like being on the inside of the thunderstorm. When the red light comes on I TRANSFORM. Look in my eyes covered in Maybeline Looking like something fresh out of a magazine I can be part of your deepest fantasies You’re the detective Come solve my mystery Above the frantic flashing of the stage floor, there's a velocity of sparkling pyro that spins so quickly, everyone in on the stage seems to stand in a pulsing sphere of red and pink energy. Inside this house of twirling and twisting energy are the grinding hips, gyrating bodies, and passion struck faces of the dancers, who move with a slow and sexy grace even to the uptempo beat of the song. At the center of this shrine of beauty stands a true goddess worth worship, Krista Isadora Duncan posed on her own oversized star in front of a photography screen and next to the soft touch of white spotlight. The statuesque beauty swings her arms through the air, and with a mind on seduction, shifts her slender hips to show off the firm muscles of her creamy thighs. The finest legs on earth are on full display by pink tights that provide as much coverage as a rubber band to her scrumptious bootie. Krista throws her hands up behind her head, pressing her breasts against her pink halter top, making them rotund, heaving, gigantic extensions of her equally wonderful body. Maybe I’m just a (bad girl) Maybe I’m just a (bad girl) Maybe I’m just a (bad girl) Maybe I’m just a (bad girl, a bad girl) I can be your addiction if you wanna Get hooked on me I, I can be your addiction if you wanna Get hooked on me To her feigned shock, the “celebrities” fall under her captivating spell. Refusing to share Krista, their dances take on a martial arts bent as they fight over the fitness queen. Arrogantly beyond playing to their petty arguments, Krista steps off her stage and puts the arms of the Avril Lavigne imitator (yes that's just Maggie) and the Jessica Simpson one (and that's just Melody!), and the real Kate Hudson fresh off attempted murder of Biff. BUFFER Introducing first being escorted down the ring by Kate Hudson...she is Los Angeles born and raised...she is a New York Times best selling author, a reality TV star, the founder of the FIT with KID line of exercise videos, a member of the Hollywood Walk Of Fame, a loving mother, a four time tag team champion, a nine time Angle Award winner, one half of the 2008 Tag Team of The Year, the 2008 Female Personality of The Year, and that's just what she did this morning, Los Angeles, your very own Krista Isadora Duncan! The ramp has also undergone a serious conversion, the frantic flashing of the lighted Walk Of Fame making it like something out of Saturday Night Fever. The new set of starlets such as Fergie,Maddona, Tyra Banks, etc, run through a dance of sassy leg lifts and fantastically domineering arm movements. The rainbow lighted Walk Of Fame is wallpapered by an abundance of paparazzi, all seeking to the capture the treasured image of Krista's red carpet worthy strut. The cool wind playfully touches her flowing blond locks in front her entrancing face, the photographers trail her path creating a light show with the roving pink and purple spotlights. When she comes to the close of her flashing floor way, her hands fall to her slender hips, and her face tilts backwards, bathing in the breeze while she beams and arresting smirk into the camera. With that Krista bids tender farewell to Maggie and Mel...err...Avril and Jessica, and hugs Kate Hudson before heading towards the ring. "K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!" Krista's propensity for showboating, motivates her perfect pins to twist themselves around the third rope. She tilts herself backwards and her streams downwards like mini beams of sunlight. Though there are enormous cheers all around Krista can't help but be a little contrary, and offers the nearest camera the gift of a middle finger. The stadium then falls into an abrupt silence and eyes begin shifting away from Krista and towards the entry way that will bring about her old lover. A carnivorous red light falls upon the entrance stage, looking such a foreboding thing that one might swear it was seeking to swallow the area whole. Yet the odd lighting scheme is but a minor blip on the audience's radar. For perched like a beacon at the foot of the stairs shinning out to all the lost wandering of Los Angles is a towering float, who's with its white base and multiple layers looks something like a demonic birthday cake. Its a breath taking thing a mystery and a marvelous sight, a relic stolen from the heavens. Its procelin white layers are etched in a floral pattern of rubies and diamonds, the beauty of which is rarely seen by the audience. They glimmer with needle points of light through the sunset and set the audiences heart aflutter and anticipation. Strewn across each layer, with legs crossed and expressions apathetic, are a legion of lithe dancers dressed as dark faeries. Their outfits are ones that embody suffering, black tutus sprinkled in red glitter, battered black t-shirts, dark hair, matching lipstick, and black eye shadow that is overran with sprinkles of grey glitter. And then none of that bears any importance to the city of Los Angeles. All that matters is what emerges from the top of the unholy structure. At first there's Mackenzie, sparkling in a silver strapless evening gown, tresses of blond hair falling across her face, but doing nothing to conceal the smug glint in her blue eyes. But there stands Alix and in black leather pants with a rhinestone rose pattern, and matching leather tube top, she is perhaps more beautiful then any the audience has ever beheld or imagined. Her chocolate hair is pulled across her face, obscuring a face hardened by anger. Then a weak instrumental harmony drifts out of the speakers and washes over the crowd like a tender Malibu wave. Beneath the shimmer of crimson and atop her altar, Alix sing Garbage's Fix Me. ALIX Things dont have to be this way Catch me on a better day Bury me above the clouds All the way from here Take away the things I need Take away my fear Her voices pours out the dirge, a mournful song that gives voice to the inconsolable ache welling up inside her. The faeries perfectly match this downed mood, moved into low twisting movements, that see their arms reach towards the skies as if they were asking for help. Hide me in a hollow sound Happy evermore Everything I had to give Gave out long before Alix's voice spread through the crowd with a stunning intensity. Her vocals are decidedly confident yet still seep with of vulnerability and longing. Her words touch the heart of even the most hardened souls, running through them like a sweetened lava, melting every last one of their emotional barriers. Fix me now I wish you would, fix me now Bring me back to life, fix me now Kiss me blind somebody should, fix me now From hollow into light Crashing silent broken down Falling into night Who gave up an who gave in Ill go without a fight Alix eyes fall shut, with her head held low by sorrow. Behind the flowery patter of her honeyed vocals lie pained words of a desire that is to remain forever unrequited. The dancers' movements grow more powerful and bold. In moments they're bouncing around the structure, seized into forceful arm undulations and leg kicks by some manic anger. Cut me down or cut me dead Cut me in or out Kiss me blind time after time Take away my doubt The song flares and rises in her throat, becoming suddenly a far more genuine expression of her grief, a wild bestial wail to transcend any mournful poetry. And her raw suffering is only lent greater strength by the cannons of red light that rip through the space around her. Fix me now I wish you would Fix me now I wish you would, fix me now Bring me back to life fix me now Kiss me blind somebody should Kiss me blind somebody should, fix me now From hollow into light Things dont have to be this way Catch me on a better day Nowhere only down from here Pick me off the floor Take away the things I dream One time one place one more There's a hanging awkward silence left by that last roar, no one certain if it were done on purpose or if Alix grew too tired to finish her song. But just as their murmurs replace the music, immeasurably large wall of fire bury the viewable entrance area with their brightness. And at once the dancers move with aggression and passion that's greater then before, and Alix's voice booms its anguish above all else in the world. Fix me now I wish you would Fix me now somebody should, fix me now Bring me back to life fix me now Kiss me blind somebody should Fix me now somebody should, fix me now From hollow into Mackenzie takes hold of Alix's arm and together they step down the structure, marked by the chaotic movements of the dancing faeries. Though Mackenzie's smile and her spangly dress gleam in the sky, Alix looks as though she were going to her final resting place. Thus her song spills like fire from out her throat and the walls of the stadium shudder with the force of it. Fix me now I wish you would Fix me now somebody should, fix me now Bring me back to life fix me now Kiss me blind somebody should Fix me now somebody should, fix me now From hollow into light Things don't have to be this way Catch me on a better day Things don't have to be this way Catch me on a better day Things don't have to be this way Catch me on a better day Things don't have to be this way Catch me on a better day The song and Alix's voice fades into the pits of an empty despair and its place only an equally depressing piano melody remains. But the beauty of Alix's voice, coupled with the appearance of this much adored hometown girl, can not dampen the crowd's spirits and they welcome her arm with a rousing standing ovation BUFFER And the opponent being accompanied by Los Angeles' native Mackenzie DeCenzo....she was born beneath the California sun and raised here in the entertainment capital of the world...she is a two time 24/7 champion Champion, a ten time Angle Award Winner, a four time tag team champion, an international pop star, the 2008 Entertaining Personality of the year, one half of the 2008 tag team champions of the year, she is....ALIX MARIA SPEZIA!!!! COLE Certainly, the two most famous members of the OAOAST roster are Alix and Krista... COACH Naw, nigga, that honor goes to Rico De Janiero who's been getting mad props for his two second cameo on Mythbusters. With that Mackenzie runs her hand along the gentle shape of Alix's buxom body, as though she were trade show model showing off some car, and not tenderly massaging an actual person. COLE Coach, we have got to wonder, what is Alix's mental and physical health right now. We've always known that Alix is fairly off balance, even for the OAOAST, but we've never had her parents going on Larry King, going Entertainment Tonight demanding the OAOAST cancel this match and that she enter drug rehabilitation. Never have he had reports of her going in an out of hospitals because of drug overdoses. We've never had something like this, and I don't honestly know if she should be competing tonight. A worried heart and sorrowful blue eyes help Krista watch Alix's arrival through the ring ropes. The Hollywood Bad Girl steps forward across the ring, what's left of the sunset catching onto her chocolate hair. Krista stands uncomfortable, clearly not knowing what to do, shifting weakly like a child in desperate need of a restroom. One glance towards Kris' bothered expression, lets a half smile onto Mackenzie's face. She knows for certain she has the upper hand, and completely revels in it. As Krista passes her a reptilian glare, Mackenzie stretches arms in either direction and arrogantly twirls in place. The shimmering beads of her gown bounce their reflection like a disco ball off the dreamy orange sky. In the stands raucous cheers flood the venue with rapid force. No other noise has any hope of competing and for these next twenty minutes, Alix and Krista are at the center of Los Angeles universe. ALIX! ALIX! ALIX! KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA! For a long lingering moment, Krista and Alix gaze into each other's eyes. Krista sees a storm in her, no less dangerous then one that could rip through oceans. And she sees a fear and grief, as well as a bitterness. Alix can feel an awful weight of the world pressing down on her shoulders, and it leads her frosty grey eyes to simmer and pop with hatred. “C-O-D! C-O-D!” their hometown fans roar, doing more to aggravate Mackenzie then lift the spirits of the cheerless girls. COLE I don't think we ever thought we'd see this match. And certainly not here of all places! Yet here we are with history being made. Her long fingers gripping onto the apron, Mackenzie nearly pulls herself onto the ring as she implores Alix to proclaim her dominance atop the turnbuckle. Too apathetic to even question the demand, Alix lifts her black GoGo boots onto the second rope. Her thin, blood red lips shimmer, their glittery nature gleaming with a deep rooted darkness. Though Alix does little more then vacantly peer out to the fans, its enough to incite their passions. ALIX! ALIX! ALIX! And now its Krista's turn to play to her audience. With the grace of a classically trained ballerina, she reaches the top turnbuckle. Her long hair streams about her smiling face, like the warm sun of a summer's afternoon falling across still waters. Her bronze skin might as well be sunlight as well, the way it shimmers and shines. Like Alix's her gestures are kept at a minimum, nothing but pink lips formed into an arresting smile. KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA! Deriving all the satisfaction she possibly can out the fans, Krista lets herself down from the ropes. But undetected to her, Alix is closing the distance between them with one single leap. Strictly by chance does Krista turn around to see her former love waiting to drive a lariat through her skull. The element of surprise ruined, Alix screeches to a halt. She backs away from Krista, speechless her gaunt face burning with hatred and spite. ALIX! ALIX! ALIX! KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA! ALIX! ALIX! ALIX! KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA! With superhuman speed, Krista narrows the space between them, and they collide with a lockup that has the crowd buzzing. Owing to her fitness model strength, Miss California is able to shuffle Alix back across the ring. Real estate becomes a scarcity when Alix bumps into the ropes. Though referee Charles Robinson tries to come between the warring ladies for a clean break, Ally refuses his aid. The dark-haired seductress brings her face close to Krista, and with a terrifying grin she unleashes a bombardment of elbows into the side of her head. The attacks cause enough damage that Krista's hold on her is irreversibly weakened, and The Hollywood Bad Girl muscles her over into the ropes. The legion of Alix fans in the audience celebrate with a chorus of cheers for their fellow Los Angeles native. Although trapped within the webbing of the ropes, Krista has enough faith in her life her long love to believe that she won't take advantage of her vulnerable state. How wrong Krista is! Alix sneers at her predicament, as she raises her hand for a searing chop. Her tongue caresses her hand, licking every inch in titilitation designed designed to arouse Krista's passion and anger. But her attack never gets the chance to rend Krista's flesh, as the referee steps between Alix and her target. While frustrated Alix lodges vexed protests, Krista scampers away of the ropes. Still distracted by the ref, Alix is utterly shocked when Krista lunges through the air straight at her. Alix has about a split second to react to the brazen beauty, which isn't remotely enough time. Krista's heels smash into her right shoulder crashing her into the floor. KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!, sing the Californians which leads Mackenzie to demand their silence. Steaming vulgarities leak from Alix's mouth, as she glares daggers into Krista. Miss California, however, isn't at all off set by the vituperative stare aimed her way. The blond bombshell pays tribute to the original blond bombshell, Marilyn Monroe, by mimicking her "Updraft" pose, tossing her hand to the middle of her skirt, crossing her knees, and flashing an irresistible smile of embarrassed innocence. Watching this, Alix's mouth twists into a fierce and cruel smile, the unmistakable face of insanity. With fangs barred, Alix lifts herself away from the canvas. And now she rushes screaming at Krista, her eyes bright and frenzied. The fitness queen catches her approach with a lockup. But there's no subduing Alix, and her knee finds its mark, plunging itself into her sexy abdomen. Doubled over in anguish, Krissy still has strength about her to swing a forearm across Alix's chin. But the spicy Latina only grins furiously back at Kris, before raking her nails along her eyes. Alix laughs at her again, then swings her boot towards her side, and the green branch snap of Krista's collapsing ribcage is heard very loud in the stadium. Anguished, Krista returns fire with a knife edge chop to Alix's perky chest. But Alix quickly casts aside any pain from that attack, and bellowing angrily, slams one fist upon Krista's back. The acid bite of the strike causes Krista to shiver in delirious pain as her knees buckle beneath her. ALIX! ALIX! ALIX! Yet, there's no moment for Krista to tend to her wounds; Alix has snaked her long arm around her neck in a side headlock. Black hair obscuring her vision like the cloak of night, Alix charges forward to the ropes. However, midway through the trip, Krista is blessed with a burst of strength. Her hands fasten themselves onto Ally's waist, and she gives her ex-love a shove to the ropes. Hitting the cables only redoubles Alix's hatred and murderous resolve, and her arm flares out to massacre Krista with a lariat. But Krista guesses her intent, and jumps clear, swinging her legs around to upend Alix with a spinning wheel kick! And every inch of the Los Angeles landscape is occupied with the massive cheers of the pro Krista contingent. “Come on, Alix! You can do this!” Mackenzie screams, yet her words sound hollow, forced, and somewhat insincere. Thick waves of sweat scrape across the outlines of Alix's cheeks, until her cute features are glossy with perspiration.”Shit!” she cries out, her anger hurling the word with enough force to push someone over. And then suddenly, Alix slithers beneath the ring ropes, vanishing towards the outside area. There she meets a resounding mixture of cheers and jeers from her equally loyal and disloyal home city crowd. But she might as well be operating in a vacuum, for Alix hears none of their words, as she churlishly stomps about the outside mats. Again her eyes burn like a fusion torch, and if a stare could kill, Krista would be a charred corpse. But strangely, Krista's attention isn't even set on her leather bound foe. Instead its lodged directly on the more dangerous sight of Mackenzie DeCenzo, positioned on the apron, and bombarding Kris with insults. One thing the audience can all agree on is that they hate Mackenzie, and they offer her nothing but jeers. Krista decides to take a kind hearted approach, and offers Mackie this present... SMACK! "YEAAAAAA!" The violent aftermath of the argument between Mackenzie and Krista is Alix's cue to renter the fray. Issuing a mighty roar from her throat, the pop starlet screeches across the ring to Krista's position. When she reaches Kris, her arm lands across her back with the concussive power of a nuclear blast. Krista's eyes and mouth all squeeze into tight lines, and her body is held rigid by the pain. Still nursing her sore face, a rueful Mackenzie calls for a more brutal offense. Thrilled to oblige, Alix rushes to the far ropes. Halfway through her return, she flips through the air with a gymnast's agility, seeking to lash Krista with a high flipping lariat. But Krista is up to the task of countering Alix; she catches onto her arm and rips her from the air's embrace with a single arm DDT! Crashed into the canvas, Alix let's out a fury of a cry that could extinguish the coliseum's torch. And again the audience is split between rooting for one of their own, and booing one of their own. COACH I said got dayum~!, I didn't think a single arm DDT could hurt that much! COLE Well, there's a lot of health issues surrounding Alix's participation. We don't really know how she's going to hold up. The ring erupts with the angry shouts and curses of Alix as she scrambles to stand. But as soon as she's onto her knees, she's trapped inside Krista's front facelock. Alix fights with frantic energy to escape Kris' clutches. But, her possibility of escape is severely worsened when Krista wraps one leg over Alix's arms. Just the smooth caressing touch of Krista's legs is murder to Alix. And the pain is only worsened when Krista falls backwards and drives her head first into the mat. Voice squeezed by horror, Alix croaks in agony, but its impossible to hear over the divided braying of the Los Angeles crowd. With predatory blue eyes, Krista watches the distressed maiden slowly step to her feet. When she rises fully upright, her wobbly body is trapped within a double chicken wing. She quickly ties her hands behind her back, making escape all but impossible. The bombshell then raises her into the sky, before falling backwards and dropping Alix directly onto her arm. Flashes of pain spark through her body, and lead heart wrenching screams to erupt from her throat. These shrieks convince the walk of famer that her ex is on the brink of destruction, and she eagerly attempts a pin... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO But, Alix triumphantly kicks out and a good portion of the audience is delighted to see her do so. Hardly in the time it takes to take a breath, Krista is towering above Alix, her lustrous skin shimmering against the moonlight. Her hands weave their way through Ally's coffee colored hair, guiding her away from the mat with surprising gentleness. Alix is quick to take advantage of the showing of mercy. She growls and slashes at her stomach, expecting to see blood oozing out the tanned skin. But, Krista instead grabs Alix's arm She holds it fast, and try as she might, Alix can not wrest form her grip. And so she's dragged back down to the canvas with another single arm DDT! There are grand applause for Krista's dominance, but all Alix can hear is the voice of Charles Robinson, asking her if she wishes to continue. Alix says yes, but it requires all her strength just to manage that one word. Thus, Krista again has no trouble in lifting Alix by the hair. And this time she's not so gentle, and Alix's feels nauseous as Krista hauls her onto her shoulder. COLE Alix, being put into a standing fireman's carry! As weak and fading as Alix's efforts to escape are, they're enough to motivate the leggy covergirl to work with speed. She dips her body backwards, making certain to angle Alix's arm towards the canvas she rapidly approaches. Guttural screams shred Alix's vocal chords, brought on by the gruesome arm first impact with the ring floor. The pain rolls through Alix's shoulder across her entire body and carrying her horrid suffering to its furthest extremity. COLE I wonder if Theodore Moneymaker has his head buried in his hands yet? Alix's arm aches wildly, and her heart pounds loudly in her chest. She finds herself grasping at the waist of Krista's slinky shorts, coughing and nearly vomiting gobs of spit. She opens her stinging eyes, blinking and squinting, trying to force them into focus. But its of little use; her vision is overtaken by the sun kissed complexion of Krista Isaodra Duncan, who tightens her into another front facelock. But, boos soon build across Los Angeles. And its not as if the entire city has taken Krista's side in the battle. Its that the entire city is repulsed to witness Mackenzie in the ring. KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA! the fans bleat, begging one LA girl to beat up another. Veins surging with primal adrenaline, Mackenzie waves Krista on, and implores her to meet her in battle. Krista disregards Mackie's challenge with a casual tossing of her hair. The she disregards Mackeize's safety with a casual tossing of Alix! Alix and Mackenzie crash backwards, skidding across the mat until they slide to a painful halt. COLE Oh my! The audience doesn't know how to react. Do they cheer Krista's through domination? Chastise her ill treatment of Alix? Finally, they reach a consensus and applaud Mackenzie suffering with wild heartiness. “Bitch” Mackenzie hisses, and spits onto the mat. Her robust chest heaves hypnotically, and her breath wheezes. Common sense tells her to beat a hasty retreat towards the outside. But aggravation throws her towards a waiting Krista. Having no use for Mackenzie, Krista simulates this fabled scene from a Los Angeles based sitcom... And the audience's joy shines even brighter then before, pleasured as they devour Mackenzie's screams with rapture. Watching Mackenzie struggle just to breathe on the mats, Robinson asks Krista if that were truly necessary. “Life is too short to waste time on over-thinking things. When an opportunity comes, I don't question it. I grab it, drop its wedding ring on the nightstand, and go down on it 'til dawn! Or when a rerun of Baywatch comes on, or someone better looking comes along drunk and horny after a fight with their husband of ten years. By way the Charles, your wife is a straight up freak in bed!” Elsewhere Alix wraps her sore arm around the ring ropes, helping to steady herself as she lifts her weary bones off the mat. With effort she wills herself to stand. Unfortunately her health is done no favors by the dropkick Krista lashes onto her back. Alix is thrown into the ropes, yet doesn't go over them. Instead her injured arm is horribly tangled within their web, trapping her in place. Desperately, she tries to haul herself free. But her arm won't obey, and buckles with a pain---a sudden stabbing pain. Oblivion closes in at the edges of her mind, and she shuts her eyes and waits for Krista's powerful blow. But no such attack arrives; Miss California has backed away to the center of the ring to allow her to go free. COLE I could be stating the obvious here, but Alix looks like she's on the verge of falling out here? Everything about her seems totally off tonight. Although free of the ropes, Alix isn't entirely free of Krista, and must deal with the sudden grip the foxy mama places onto her arm. A second later, Alix is being launched across the ring to the opposite cables. She attempts to come back with the force of a lightening speared tornado. But, Krista stages a distraction to hinder her strategy. She puts on a seducing grin, but her smile is only a minor attraction to the twin mainevent of the mouthwatering jiggling of her boobs. As predicated, her chest bounces Alix off her guard and Krista successfully rockets her knee into her bare stomach! Alix bites down on her lip, but can not prevent small tears from rolling down her face. A staggered, harried walk carries her to the ropes, where she falls exhausted against their coarse touch. ALIX! ALIX! ALIX! The song of her LA brothers and sisters, can't motivate her past her weariness, and once again she's whipped across the ring by her former partner. When the brunette stunner makes her return, Krista swings her long leg out to upend her with a sidekick. But her efforts encounter unbridled failure, as Ally deftly avoids his volley by grabbing onto her pumps and slamming it back to the canvas. Krista doesn't even get the chance to bemoan Alix's evasion, because in the blink of an eye she locks her good arm around her's, and spins her around like a merry-go-round. After a full 360 rotation, she plummets forward, spiking her against the canvas with Herpes, the gift that keeps on giving (flatliner). "YEAAAAAA!" And now its Krista's turn to suffer. And suffer she does, groaning and clawing at her now sore back and arm. Left on the mat to tend to her agonized muscles, Krista watches Alix escalate to top turnbuckle Stimulating the passions of her supporters and the rage of Krista's, Alix swats her hands together in the “make it rain” hand gesture. But the forecast doesn't call for showers of cash. Only a 5'8 pop star shredding through the air like a comet with a shooting star press. And an enthusiastic cheer rises up from the stadium, as Alix's body descends through the night. But nearly half those cheers fade away when Krista sucks her body out of Alix's path. For what seems like an eternity, there's a long breathless silence of worry for Alix. But that gives way to boisterous applause once Alix comes down on her GoGo boots. However, the leather bound babe is thrown frustratingly off balance, and wobbles to and fro. Krista is quick to take advantage of such failings. Leaping into the air, her silken legs fall across Alix's neck for a high angle fameasser. But, Alix's hand fasten tight onto Krista's silky thighs, and with great strain she shifts down and away from her neck. Before Krista has a second to brace herself, a spine buster is smashing her back against the canvas! Krista shrieks in alarm and agony, a noise that brings a smile onto MacKenzie's face and despair to many of the audience. ALIX! ALIX! ALIX! KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA! ALIX! ALIX! ALIX! KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA! Letting out an exhausted sigh, Alix works her to her feet. She seems in no better shape then Krista, as her head rings and aches battered mercilessly by a pain all her own. Because of this, her trek to the corner is monstrously slow, and her climb up the turnbuckle even slower. As she rises, so to do the voices of the hundred thousand, some rooting her on, other's rooting Krista upright. Alix blows a kiss laced with venom to a now standing Krista, before she departs the pads with a crossbody block. The noise of her LA kin grows even louder, when her curvaceous body falls into the arms of Krista! KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA! an entire city sings. Beneath their cheers is scowling Alix, yelping to be set down. But Krista will do no such thing. Her fingers coil around the waist of the girl's leather capri pants, and in one brilliant tug, the coverage they provide lies in tatters. All that's left in their wake is a shrieking Alix, a hooting crowd, tightest, ass in all of LA. Ever the connoisseur of a fine female backside, a giggling Krista gives Alix's tush a playful squeeze. A handful of Alix's lustrous honey buns is enough to satisfy Krista to the great beyond. Thus its with great mercy that she sets her old flame to the ground. Alix glares at Krista balefully, and then scurries out of the ring as quickly as she can. Stomping about the outside, Alix's blood red lips hiss a primal fury at the horrible situation the woman in the ring has heaped on her shoulders. She owes Krista for that, and with the chair she takes in her hand, this is where she starts dealing the payback. There's more noise from her hometown crowd, but even the ones supporting her merely submerge her in insanity's deep end. COLE Alix is grabbing hold of a chair, and that's a very far cry from the Alix we know! Lacking the patience to even enter the ring, Alix just flings the chair at Krista with reckless abandon. The chair misses by half a mile, seemingly skirting harmlessly away from its target. But Krista gazes upon Alix with a bewildered pity. She turns her confusion onto Robinson, who tries to remove the weapon from the ring. And that's when Alix moves strikes. Moving with shocking speed for someone of her poor health, Alix slides beneath the ropes. She puts a furious piercing war cry, as she hooks onto Krista's head and charges forward for a bulldog! Again Krista's hands find the supple contours of Alix delectable backside. But, this time its not for pleasure, so much as it is to push Alix away. Angered multiplied by that avoidance, Alix leaps forward and brings her forearm across Krista's face. There's a sickening crunch before she slumps over, and lies dazed before the ropes. ALIX! ALIX! ALIX! sing the fans, while Alix scowls and stares down at the husk of the woman she once adored. A firm grip on Krista's booblicious top allows Alix to bring her off the canvas. And a firm grip on her wrist allows Alix to fling her into the corner. The steel padding cuts fiercely through Krista's back, but she has little time to lament her fate, given that the starlet is closing in on her with a bodysplash. Thankfully for her fans, Krista find the ability to evade her incoming foe. Her high heels carry her atop the second turnbuckle, and Alix draws near, she curls forward with a sunset flip! On sheer luck alone, Alix stays upright, but can do little more then wobble off balance. With Alix stunned by the sudden shift in positions, mischievous Krista has the opportune moment rid her of those pesky things called pants pants. Eyes flaming with wild hunger, Krista restlessly burrows her fingers through the rhinestone encrusted fabric. Her efforts yield a scintillating glimpse of the polka dot panties that are scarcely large enough to be considered a necklace. Feeling the familiar Southland wind breeze across her skin, Alix mutters an indistinguishable curse. Alix gives the audience no further pleasure, as she furiously steps away from Krista's grasp. Chuckling to herself, Krista rolls upright with her arm angled for a lariat. Yet even with half her ass on display to the viewing world, Alix is able to drum up enough speed to duck bellow the incoming missile. Krista clumsily teeters forward as a result of the avoidance. Yet she regains enough of her composure to whip around at Alix with a forearm. Unfortunately the strike is savagely snuffed out by an enziguri from the pop star. Krista timbers downwards, white hot pain blasting across her skull. The fans offer the attack a sizable pop, not so much because they've been dying to see an enziguri, but because the abrupt motion of the strike jerked down Alix pants to reveal even more of her lusty BUTT. Krista is down on the canvas, longing for an advil, and that gives Ally the freedom to send her fans in the dykes on bikes running for the 50th anniversary commemorative vibrator. Atop bent knee rests gyrating and wiggling hips, that ripple Alix's bare cheeks in supereme beauty. With the mesmerizing bouncing of her perfect heart shapped ass cheeks the audience and Mackenzie fall into blubbering erotic messes. But their pleasure is cut short by Alix moonsaulting onto Krista. Yet instead of going for a pin, Alix then brings Krista to her feet latches and attempts to haul her into the ropes. But the blond hottie reverses the hold with unerring ease, and it's Alix's that's put on a trip to cables. Her return is greeted by a pair of white heels whirling like a manic dervish. But Ally Cat evades the move by sweeping bellow Miss California twisting strikes. Eyes burning with a painful hatred, Alix scampers upright, and ambushes Miss California with a side headlock. All at once Alix is seized by a terrible desire to put an end to this charade. And so with Krista fabulous gold locks spill across her arm, she breaks into a full charge to the corner, seeking to obliterate her with a Stratusfaction. COLE Alix has already tried a bulldog and failed twice. I don't think this is so wise! But Krista's hands again come down to the lovely contours of Alix's tush, and this time they heave her towards the turnbuckle. The breath of nearly an entire city remains locked in their throat as they await a disastrous crash. But, Alix leaps past certain doom and onto the second rope. Applause from the audience greet Alix's avoidance. But, there's no moment of celebration for The Hollywood Bad Girl. Krista is springing forward with preternatural speed, arms already coiled for a DDT! Alix is quick to react; with one hand she seizes Krista about her firm leg and with the other reaches beneath her outstretched arm. Locking down Krista with the tightness of a strangle hold, Alix shrieks murderously then lurches backwards sending Krista toppling over the ropes! Krista goes down hard on the bed of thin black mats, and anxious gasps from the audience join her shrieks in the face of their searing pain. COLE Wow! Alix just chucking Krista over the ropes with a capture suplex! But once more there's little joy to be beheld by Alix Maria Spezia, who leans against the turnbuckle posts and screams not in anger but in a mysterious pain. COLE I mean, really, should she even be competing at this moment? Sure she was doing great, but now look at her a second later. Totally ignoring the grave plight of her girlfriend, Makcenzie DeCenzo seeks to fill her lust for Krista's blood. As curses and taunts seep from her mouth, she stalks Krista's position like a vulture. Once she's assured Miss California is too weak to attack, she dives in for her kill. “Come on you bitch!” she hollers, her face gone red, her eyes livid and cloudy. As Krista stands, Mackenzie steps forward with fist squeezed into a tight ball. Sneering through bright red lips, she slashes Krista's throat with a punch! Krista wails softly, and grabs her throat. "BOOOOOOO!" She spins blindly about and smashes headlong into the guardrail, where even the encouraging words of the audience do her no benefit. Mackenzie cackles with delight, and shakes her finger back and forth as though to warn Krista against ever challenging her again. As all this is transpiring, Alix has slowly stepped her way onto the top turnbuckle. There's a torrent of noise both joyous and disdaining from the girls' hometown crowd, as Alix steadies herself atop the posts. Their amongst the cacophonous noise Alix becomes a pitch black whirlwind of motion, recklessly swooping and rising above Krista with a corkscrew moonsault press! Despite her small body weight her descending body shoots through her adversary like a bat out of hell! Krista lays there helplessly and her body is rocked with tremors of pain and fear. Mere inches beyond her, Alix lies on all fours, heaving for breath. Mackenzie is prompt in yanking Alix's pants back around her waist, denying bottles of Johnson and Johnson everywhere their AM moment Elsewhere, Krista moans pitifully and clutches her battered skull, covering her ears in an effort to block out the tortuous cheers that are given to support her. Krista's situation grows far worse, when Mackenzie decides she wants more blood on her hands. Taking a clump of blond hair between her fingers, the money honey removes Krista from the mat. As Krista is only halfway upright, Mackie curses her bitterly and smashes her knee into her face! "BOOOOOOO!" COLE I repeat, there is no reason on earth why Mackenzie DeCenzo should be allowed out here during these matches. Molly, Megan, Melody, Holly even Abdullah, no one gets involved like Mackenzie does. Its crazy! Weakened by exhaustion and blinded by Mackenzie's attack, Krista staggers haphazardly across the outside. Trailing her path, Mackenzie smirks with bitterest gall, waiting for her next opportunity to inflict further misery. That opportunity seems present itself when Krista, unable to carry on, slumps against the ring apron. Mackenzie laughs with frightening glee and buries her nails into Krista's back. She screeches them downwards, thinking delightfully on the rivulets of blood they'll leave. But her fantasy is far different then reality, as all they leave is her flat on her back courtesy of one powerful shove from Krista! KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA! Mackenzie's face is drained of all color as the horror settles upon her mind like a thick fog. Thankfully her fear isn't of the paralyzing variety, and back to her feet, she hustles away from Krista as fast her shoes will allow. But, Krista, incensed with rage, gives chase to her fleeing tormentor. The fans serenade the highspeed race with shouts of approval, in part because they want to see Mackie get her comeuppance and in part because they want to see Krista's bouncing milk wagons win their fight for freedom from her undersized halter top. However, neither of their desires will be granted at this moment. Alix's GoGo Boots impale Krista's head like Satan's pitchfork with a baseball slide, and the walk of famer is slung wildly off course. CRAAAAAASH! Krista careens face first into the guardrail, causing the metal structure to be dislodged and spilling soda and popcorn from the hands of a few front row fans. From a safe position near the announce table, Mackenzie chuckles a very satisfied sort of chuckle and surveys the glorious wreckage from Alix's attack. Hearing Mackenzie's whimsy, Krista clenches her fist together and gazes up into the warm familiar sky, wordlessly begging the moon to crush the source of the vexing noise. Unfortunately Mackenzie's laughter turns bolder and crueler with the way Alix's bracelet covered forearm slices down Krista's back. The leather and metal objects throw pain across her entire body, and she's incapable of stopping Alix from bringing her off the mat. Alix's hands work into her pink top and uses it as a steering wheel to drive her down a road leading to the steel posts. Already half the fans are erupting with delight, and the other with disgust, at the forthcoming decimation of Krista's welfare. And there's not a single audience member who lies silent when Alix rams Krista's shoulder into the callous black metal. Krista's face drops all expression, and her balance departs her, forcing her to stagger aimlessly until she falls to the mat. Yet its Alix who appears to hurt the most, and she wails—a keening cry that is at once, sorrow, and anger, and fear and pain. So desperate for a quick end to this contest, she painfully drags her bones into the ring and with weakened voice beesches Robinson to count Krista out. "ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!" "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" A mere countout win will not satisfy Mackenzie's cravings for carnage though. And its for that reason Alix's wish goes ungranted. Mackenzie pries Krista's arm away from her wounds, and uses it as a leash to drag her upright. Bursting with the need to humiliate Krista, Mackenzie decides to add sexual harassment to her laundry list of crimes. Without warning her hands squeeze onto Krista's breast, and the fingers falls into the firm flesh of her spherical chests. The piercing prongs are like scalpels through her skin, and Krista shrieks in frustrated agony. But then Mackie throws Krista to the ring, with orders for Alix to destroy her. While Krista tries to will herself towards a vertical base, Alix leaps onto the second rope behind her. Krista is sadly unaware of this, and rises thinking she'll be able to mount a fast paced attack. She's exposed to the error of her ways, when Alix comes swooping down on her like a bird of prey. As her arm snakes across Krista's neck for a tornado DDT, the stadium noise is massive. But, with great fury and panic, Miss California brushes off the attack by piercing her teeth through Alix's arm! COLE She bit her! And instantly Alix lets Krista go free, too consumed with shock and misery to continue her hold. Problematically for Alix, Krista is under no such suffering, and promptly puts herself onto the attack. She grabs Alix into a basic arm wrench that hurts her arm mightilydue to earlier attacks lodged against it. The pain escalates even further when Krista drops to her well toned booty and brings Alix's arm across her shoulders! THUD! Alix bounces back onto the floor, her attempts to brace herself for the fall doing little to relieve the jarring jolts that send awful ringing through her skull. Its little consellation that Krista is in no better status though, bent over, wincing, and clinching her stomach as if she were trying to hold in her lunch. Despite this obvious misery, the fitness queen puts on a look of resolve, and closes the distance between she and her ex girlfriend. "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" But the pop starlet dampens the spirits of Krista's supporters by swiping her boot against Krista's leg. The simple attack hobbles Krissy, and buys Alix the time she needs to scrape herself away from the canvas. With a hand on Krista's wrist, she violently heaves the beach bunny into the corner. Right as her succulent figure crashes against the ring posts, Alix, snarling crazily, screams towards her with a forearm smash! Though Krista sees Alix coming ahead of time, she hasn't the requisite seconds to pull herself out the way. So she can only throw her hand up to shield against the bracelet coated armband. But that paltry defense does nothing of use, and with a ferociously pounding headache, Krissy sags to the mat. Leaning against the turnbuckles, she can spot Mackenzie out the corner of her blurred eyes, grinning contemptuously, mouthing “the end is near”. ALIX! ALIX! ALIX! half the city sings, trying to will its adored daughter to victory. Not at all basking in the tsunami of support, Alix backs toward the center of the ring with a face perverted by a spiteful smirk. Just as soon as she reaches her destination, does she depart it, sprinting clear across the ring to Krista. Once she reaches her old flame, she brings herself into the air, letting herself fall flush onto Krista's face with a bronco buster! Amidst the raucous pop of the stadium, Alix lustily grinds her crotch against Krista's face, her body firmly ground against Krista's face. Writhing in the throes of passion, she can feel a tingling sensation growing deep inside her. But suddenly her mood dims into one of manic aggression, and she drives herself back down in brutal thrusts, burying Krista inside her. “Alright! That's enough!” Mackenzie screams, getting the feeling Alix is having just a little too much fun. Weary, out of breath by being ridden like a mechanical bull by Alix, Krista steps upright, Alix's aroma still very much on her mind. But Krista's thought soon shift to how she's going to avoid the rolling body splash her sexual aggressor aims at her. Acting with shocking quickness, Krista dips low, and catches onto Alix's legs! She lifts herself back up and Alix is launched over the ring ropes. But, much too Mackenzie's delight, her girlfriend recovers in mid air and comes down harmlessly upon the ring apron. Sighing dejectedly at Alix's counter, Krista puts herself off the ropes with a lazy effort to shoulder block Alix from her nest. Unfortunately she pays for her lackadaisical attempt in the most painful manner possible; Alix meets her arrival with a stunning diamond cutter! Though the brunette fox lands simply on the ring apron, Krista isn't given the same luck and finds her neck lacerated by the cables! A cloak of red descends upon her world. She claws at her throat, but there's nothing there her hands can touch, and so the pain builds and builds. But Alix isn't so foolish as to believe the ring ropes can do Krista in. Thus she elevates herself onto the top rope as fast as her sore figure will allow. The screaming and shouting of the crowd continues to boil, and reaches its greatest height when Alix flings herself towards Miss California. Alix's arm falls across Krista's neck, conspiring with her body to give her a dizzying 360 twirl. Finally, gravity pulls the pop star backwards, and Krista's head is spiked off the canvas. Her neck snaps from side to side like an errant tennis ball, and her tormented screams carry Mackenzie towards cloud nine. "ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!" "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" "ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!" "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" Barely noticed by the verbally sparring audience is Alix taking both of Krista's toned legs into her arm. Krista braces herself for a deathly submission hold, but is given a bit of small luck when Alix simply flips through her legs for a fall. Robinson scores the pin... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! But, Krista's shoulders come off the mat, and many of the fans let out a huge pop! Anger grips Alix as she springs to her feet, and she pelts Little Nature Boy with accusations of favoritism. She can only take her scorching eyes off the referee long enough to pull Krista off the canvas. Krista has no desires to let Alix further shred apart her neck, and fights murderously to prevent any such moves. A roar of her fists connects solidly with Alix's six packed stomach and blasts her backwards. The wind is ripped straight out her lungs, and she's left dangerously vulnerable to Krista's next attack. The sultry siren hops into the air, with her legs tucked towards her huge rack, and grabs onto Alix's arm. Before Alix even has a second to yank her limb free, its ligaments are being broken to ribbons by Krista's knees. "YEAAAAAAA!" COLE That's an innovative way to target the shoulder! Stumbling along the ring, Alix's brings her trembling free hand to her busted arm, and her scorched-pale eyes flood with tears. If Krista has any lingering sympathies for her dolor beloved, they're well hidden by the chop block she directs towards her leg. Alix capsizes to her knees, raging, screaming, reaching out to crush Krista. But, she can do no such thing. Krista is bounding off the ropes, ready to come back and level Alix with another arm crushing volley. Ally's burning fury overcomes her burning pain, and she manages to her feet, and its there she stuns Krista with a dropsault! Instinctively Krista reaches out for something to keep her upright, but all her hands unearth is empty air. Thus she droops over, submerged in a sea of anguish. "YEAAAAAAA!" "BOOOOOO!" The cold venom in Alix's heart still burns bright. Yet its little match for the reality of her horrid health, and she falls to her knees, face gone slack from fatigue. Robinson sees Alix's heart wrenching predicament and throws a quick glance to Krista, motionless from her own physical struggles. As neither competitor looks able continue the fight, or even stand up, he has no choice but to begin his count. “ONE!” “TWO!” Los Angeles is not happy with the prospects of a countout ending such an important match to the city, and begs their girls to get back into the battle. “THREE!” "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" “FOUR!” "ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!" “FIVE!” Krista twists desperately on the canvas, trying her damnedest to rouse the strength to answer the calls of her hundred thousand friends and family “SIX!” The stirring of Miss California does not fall under the radar of Mackenzie's hawkish glare. The thought of a countout loss strikes her with a mortal fear for her livelihood. She puts herself halfway in the ring, and ignores Charles complaints, to try and breathe life into Alix with frantic pleas. Sobs and muttered curses reach Mackenzie's ears in response, but their trivial complaints to her now that Alix has risen off the canvas. Unfortunately for Mackenzie, Krista has done the same, and its she who strikes first to stun Alix with a small package! "YEAAAAAAA!" A flicker of shock passing across her face, Mackenzie takes to the ring apron in one unbelievable leap. She tries to mask her fear with a look of seduction aimed at Robinson. As her tongue fondles her red lips, her fingers invite Robinson to see what meatier objects she might be interested in getting her mouth around. Though there's no hiding her worry she's successfully able to distract the zebra from the fall. ”BOOOOO!" Watching this trickery, Krista's face flushes with anger and a bitter laugh escapes her lips. Soon those laughing lips are launched into a tirade against Robinson. COLE Krista's angry, the fans are angry, and I for one can't blame them! Devoting all her energy to bawling out Robinson for his shoddy officiating prevents Krista from noticing that Alix scooped herself upright. Even the increased thunder from the audience provides her with no clues. Through the shroud of sweat streaked hair, Alix's storming eyes stare down Krista. And then, lightening strikes, her dropkicking boots lash viscously into Krista's back. The sharp heels of burn her skin, feeling like they've pared it to the bone. The pain is unendurable, and Krista falls into ropes for whatever relief they can grant her. "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" sing the fans, eager to rally their heroine. And once again Mackenzie sniffs blood in the water, and calls for the brutal end of Krista Isadora Duncan. But the inside of Alix's skull aches worse then ever before, and for the moment it appears she may be the one to meet the brutal end. The crowd chants her name as well, but blocked out by the pain, their voices feel like they're coming from somewhere distant. Mackenzie hasn't the inclination to show any worry for Alix's condition, and instead impatiently motions to the stands to usher in someone to worsen Krista's! COACH The Enterprise always has a plan, MC! Clean sweep coming up! From the stands there are considerable boos and jeers. For from the stands comes Los Angeles born and raised Ned Blanchard, a delicious smile drawn across his face at the idea of doing his baby's mama in. “Go! Get her!” Mackenzie shouts, anger still contorting her face as Ned slides into the ring. “Krista, Are you Pentacostal? Cause I'd love to speak in tongues with you. Ah, yes, the rare pickup line that is both religiously accurate and ethnically diverse!” “Hurry up, Ned!” Mackenzie's shrill voice bellows. Needing no further invitation, Ned pitches forward, beginning to lift his legs off the mat for the 90210 Enziguri! And then this fate befalls him.... Just as quickly as he entered so does Ned leave; rolling from the ring to attend to his unexpected castration. His tear stained eyes see only the starry night sky, and not the expected sight of Mackenzie blasting him for his incompetence. That's because Mackie has all her attention captured by the threats of butchery fired at her by Krista. Riddled by panic and trepidation, Mackenzie's entire body goes white with the horror of her impending doom. That doom looks on the verge of becoming a reality once Krista departs the ring ropes. With her help mourning the loss of his child bearing years, the detested Money Honey has little choice but to run for her life. The cowardice delights the audience as it brings about the mesmerizing heaving of her jumbo sized breasts. Krista throws her legs into a hot pursuit, and the added boobie jigliation is shangri-la to chronic masturbators everywhere. Mackenzie weaves and dives past an array of camera man, who seek to capture her moment of humiliation and slides into the ring. Inside the ring she finds a savior in Alix, who aims a leaping head scissors at Krista in hopes of achieving a hurricanrana. But before Alix's golden brown legs even reach Krista's neck, Miss California has her hands wrapped tightly around them. With gravity on her side, Krista jerks Alix downwards, tilting her shoulder first towards the canvas. And in seconds her bruised arm is being punished against the stone solid mat. Alix locks a scream behind her gritted teeth, and the venue starts to swirl darkness and ooze confusion. ALIX! ALIX! ALIX! KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA! The shockwave of pain in her arm, rocks Alix as she stands, and its for this reason that Krista is able to press her advantage. She crooks her arm around Alix's neck and takes hold of her waistband. The audience puts forth another mixture of cheers and boos for Krista's upcoming attack. But whatever move the UCLA alum had in mind will never come to pass, as Alix somehow calls upon the miraculous strength to bust out of her holds. Her lips peeling off her teeth in angry snarl, Alix skates towards the ropes. But as she nears she finds that Miss California is well prepared for her return and she's flung high by a back body drop. But, in debt to another miracle, Alix succeeds in landing in perilous position on the second rope. "YEAAAAAAA!" Cheated and confused, Krista sighs and half heartedly hurls herself to Alix. Once more, Krista's lack of a killer instinct is costly; Alix catapults backwards twisting her heavenly body backwards in a moonsault until she finds her mark with her arm laced around Krista's neck. Krista shrieks and claws at her bonds, but its a split second later that the inverted DDT drives her onto her neck. "YEAAAAAAA!" ”BOOOOOOOO!” Pleased with the damage she's caused, Alix attempts a pinfall... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! Krista gets her shoulder off the canvas, and the screams of the audience are enough to pop one's ears. Alix's murderous malice is only magnified by Krista's impressive resolve. The fire in her eyes stoked to its brightest flame yet, she stomps towards the corner. The fractured noise of the spectators encapsulates her movements, as she scales to the height of the turnbuckles. There the sweet wind of her hometown tags her cheek with a goodluck kiss. And with that on her side she scorches through the air like a black dragon, and the 450 splash she drives through Krista's heart burns like the breath of that mythical beast. Though that's enough to inflame the crowd's passions, its not nearly enough to defeat Krista in Alix's mind. She inches back upright, and sneers and laughs at the corpse of her exlover. Though horrified by the pain she's continually put under, she's buoyed by the knowledge that Krista teeters on the brink of destruction and makes her way back to the top of the turnbuckles. COLE Again? ALIX! ALIX! ALIX! sing the Los Angelenos. Alix stretches with arms out, becoming like a dark goddess beneath beneath the pinpricks of light the night offers. The roaring crowd then watches her fall like a firestorm with a 630 splash. And Krista's body becomes only tinder beneath the flaming force of Alix's highrisk assault. She makes long a painful noise, as though she were on her deathbed. But its hardly noticeable beneath the stream of noise from the audience. Thus Alix shuts her eyes and bites back against the pain, as she pins Krista... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! Krista throws her shoulder off the mat, and the audience puts forth a gargantuan hurricane of cheers. Swept up in its force is Mackenzie who alternates between calling for silence and calling for Robinson to be fired. Alix is equally as distraught, and sits against Krista's heaving body with worry, anger, and misery playing on her normally cute facial features. As she stands up, the headaches and the hurt assail her with greater force then ever before. Simply staying upright becomes a dangerously difficult task, but she does it anyway, fueled by the flaming furnace in her eyes. “Get up!” She screams to Krista, her bubbly Californian accent corrupted into something deep and guttural. KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA! Spurred on the swelling of support, Krista cuts past the soreness in her bones and stammers upright. Unfortunately for her and her legion of supporters, Alix is there to trap her within a front facelock. Eyes cloudy, bloodshot, and glistening with pain, Alix still finds the corner posts. And its with every last droplet of strength in her body that she's able to lift Krista onto them. ALIX! ALIX! ALIX! KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA! ALIX! ALIX! ALIX! KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA! Laboriously, as though she were crossing an Egyptian desert, Miss Spezia steps onto the second rope to come closer to Krista. Unfortunately the golden haired babe wildly fights for her freedom, smashing closed fists into Alix's face. A stunning mass of cheers builds in the stands as these two California girls exchange furious punches on the edge of destruction. COLE Coach, I can not believe this match! Its been so close, so close, and I think we're near a winner! Who's going to be crowned the queen of Los Angeles? The crazed trading of punches draws to an abrupt and painful end for Krista, when Alix rips through her flesh knife edge chop. Even her busty wonders aren't able to shield her from the sheer power of that blow, and she sags harmlessly in defeat. And now Alix, with more tortured breath, elevates herself onto the third ropes. With her elevation comes an elevation the crowd's voices that scales higher once Alix leaps into the night sky and tightens her leather wrapped legs around Krista's neck. She pulls backwards with a hurricanrana, and soon the four time tag team champions are tearing across the California air. But its not Alix's hurricanrana that fuels their flight. Rather its the powerbomb Krista reversed her into. Trailed by the roars of their crowd, they fall for what seems like an eternity, until Alix's chilling screams pierce through every voice in Los Angeles county. COLE Good heavens! Good heavens what a powerbomb! These girls have lost three matches combined in three years! And when you can pull off moves like that at will, its no wonder why! Krista is on her feet but there's no signs of strength or dominance from her weary bones. Instead her hands find her knees, and there's a sickening rattle in her chest, the sound of a woman who can barely fight much longer. But she won't have to do anything more than lie still and be pinned for three seconds thanks to Theodore Moneymaker stunning her with a billion dollar knee lift! MONEYMAKER BWHAHHHAHAHA! The fans voices explode once more, this time further polluting the smog filled sky with their cries of hatred and disgust. Moneymaker, couldn't find it in him to care less, and leaves the ring with the same speed as which he entered. MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS! Alix scowls, gnashing her teeth together, doing anything in her power to remain conscious enough to crawl atop Krista in a pinfall. There's no sympathy for her obvious suffering from Moneymaker and Mackenzie, and they gruffly demand she move with greater speed. And though moving across the ring is like slithering her naked body across hot coals, Alix finally reaches her former partner. And a weak arm falls across her chest for what Alix prays will be the final pinfall... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! But, Krista kicks away from the fall, and Moneymaker's face goes blank from despair. "YEAAAAAAA!" COACH Mikey, that's crap! That was a three! That was a three! And you know it! Moneymaker is in staunch agreement, and throws out every insult in his limitless vocabulary at Charles Robinson. Ill with nervousness, Mackenzie has bitten her now white knuckles to the point that blood seeps through them. Even though it was Alix who attempted the pinfall, its Krista who rises first. And with her rise comes more chants, sung loud enough to be heard all the way in San Diego county. Soon Alix follows Krista up, not even knowing where Miss California is, and not exactly caring. Of course her indifference is detrmential to her already poor health; Krista has little trouble in scooping the pop diva onto her shoulder into a standing fireman's carry. KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA! Bad arm or no, Alix wants nothing more then to be free of this entire fucked up situation, and so with the blustering fury of a volcano she fires a torrent of elbows into the side of Krista's head. The strikes do sufficient enough damage to force Krista to let Alix slide down her shoulders. ALIX! ALIX! ALIX! Yet again, anger billows in Alix's eyes like an impossible burning cloud, and she wants nothing more then to see Krista share in the despair she's brought her. Alix snatches her into a sideheadlock, which brings about a monstrous shout from Los Angeles , who realizes that her finisher a A Shot At Love (sommersault neckbreaker) is a sommersault away from ending the match. "YEAAAAAAA!" But as Alix steps her right leg forward her grand plan, like her grey eyes, goes up in flames. Her weak arm isn't capable of witholding Krista, and the walk of famer bursts through her clutches. KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA! Moving with great speed, Krista throws herself behind Alix and plants her hands beneath her chin. Panic floods down through Alix's face, as she's keenly aware of the danger that overwhelms her. The fans explode with cheers for her soon to come signature move! Their cheers expand enormously when she strikes “Sweet” with the Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one! (reverse X-factor)! ”YEAAAAAAAAA!” A heartbeat later, the golden haired beauty is back on her feet, eyes locked onto Moneymaker. “Moneymaker.” She whispers, carrying the name of her greatest enemy on her red lips, like its etched there like a scar. COACH Come on, sir! Its up to you! If Krista takes you out... COLE You're huge scheme to destroy her will be nothing but a failure! Moneymaker knows this far too well, and that is why every bit of power and strength is put behind his running axe handle smash. But the strength of Hercules could not save him from the hand fate dealt him. And like Alix, Moneymaker is dealt a soul crushing blow by the Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one! YEAAAAAAAAA! Mackenzie looks on as though someone ripped the very soul from her body and its place left nothing but the purest form of horror there is. Yet there still may be hope for the crumbled empire of The Enterprise, Alix comes screaming across the ring with a yakuza kick. But the results remain the same; a Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one!! The fans cheers threaten to level the state into the ocean very foundation, as Alix hits the canvas with earth shaking force. Sickened by a mental exhaustion, Krista lurches forward to hook Alix's leg, and says a silent prayer this horrible situation will soon be at an end. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! COLE Yes! Yes! There's no last minute kickouts. No 2.999999 counts. No interference from the remaining Enterprise members. There's only cheers that seem to come from every corner of the county, from the mansions of Beverly Hills, to the beaches of Santa Monica, to the barbecues in Malibu , to the sandy shores of Hermosa Beach. There are cheers for Krista Isadora Duncan and there is her relieved, typically charming smile. COLE Moneymaker, your plan just blew up right in your fat face! Krista Isadora Duncan is still standing! She stands tall and she stands strong as the queen of Los Angeles. Listen to these people, Coach! Just listen to them cheer one of their own. On the entrance ramp the much less liked Los Angeles native, Mackenzie DeCenzo is on her crawling towards the back. Not by choice. But by the violent shivering, flood of tears, and searing headache that has weakened her knees and forced her into this humiliating retreat. All around her she sees a world that lies in ruins, a future without a point, and an existence without meaning. And for once she knows what's its like to be the people she and Moneymaker taunt relentlessly. KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA! And yet even with Krista's decisive victory there are still loose ends to be tied up. Alix is on the mat, her eyes raw and numb. Her emotional control is finally shattered, and she cries from the relentless mind shredding dread. Now her furnace heart is close to exploding. Now she'll be enable to enact the revenge her anger is hungered for. But, there stands Krista, looking like the same woman she met twelve years ago, hands extended, faces shining with that same disarming smile. Yet, Alix isn't the same girl she was twelve years ago. Her reply is a predator's snarl over the body of its prey, the type of answer given by a woman who isn't detached by anything inherently evil. And then something strange happens. Alix wants to scream, to howl, to shout, to curse Krista for all the ways she hates her. But all she manages is a wisp, a death rattle an ill defined echo of herself. And suddenly her throat locks, and the words are strangled inside her head. And the fire in her eyes flames out, reduced all at once to pathetic ashes. And she can think of nothing else besides the feeling that a curtain is descending on her. Then her world smokes towards black. The ground falls away beneath her and a white flash of light blasts her into the night. COLE Oh my god! Alix! And the eyes of the city go wide with horror. But there's Krista, behaving as if twenty minutes weren't just spent battling this woman to the death, catching Alix into her gentle arms with a lover's touch. “Don't cry” She says, and kisses Alix's fevered brow with cool lips. “I'm so sorry.” Sobs Alix, not even realizing she had been crying. “I warned you. Oh Alix, my poor sweetie, I tried to warn you.” Krista weeps, stroking her face with her long graceful fingers. Alix opens her eyes which she'd not realize were shut and gazes up at the night clouds for the first time in ages. Yet there are forces conspiring to break apart this tearful lover's reunion. Forces abhorrent and revolting. Forces who will not suffer their happiness. Forces best known as Mackenzie DeCenzo. Down the entrance ramp she comes, her face twisted into a repellent sneer and her eyes caught with the fire that just went free of Alix's. COLE Get to the back! Your stable blew it! You guys failed! There are a hundred thousand people showering her with their verbal toxins. But in Mackenzie's world there exists but two souls, women who have drawn together to crush her every dream. For that they must pay with a nightmare. But its Mackenzie's who's nightmare worsens significantly! This is do to Jade Rodez, Krista's eldest daughter, clotheslining her from behind! YEAAAAAAAAA! And now all Mackenzie wishes to do is crawl somewhere to mourn her dreams. Yet even that small solace escapes her with Jade fastening her hands beneath her chin. There isn't even a struggle form Mackenzie who's resigned herself to this fate. Jade pounds her into blackness with the Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one!! "J-RO! J-RO! J-RO!" chant the fans to the now bowing Jade. COLE Way to go Jade! Alix blinks away her tears in stares in wide eyed wonder at Krista, “I love you.” she whispers. “I know. I love you to.” And she covers Alix's eyes as the last shimmer of consciouses escapes her. “I'm here I won't leave you.” And now her eyes are as empty as any sleeping thing, and grieving, Krista presses her close her chest. Jade looks towards her with a smile, and Krista returns it, and suddenly things begin to seem right again. FADE OUT

Just because you're on the show doesn't mean you suck, it just means you aren't important enough to book regularly Check Local Listings Returning to live action we see that the sun has begun to set over Los Angeles, and that Buffer has taken position in the ring. COLE Folks, its been a hell of a night so far! Our biggest Anglemania yet has been a smashing success. But I have to wonder who be successful in the high stakes match coming up between Zack Malibu and Bohemoth. So much is on the line, both men have so much to gain and so much to lose. Let's take it to Michael Buffer for the introductions! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this next contest is schedule for one fall! When "Liberate" by Disturbed is cued right after Buffer's announcement, the fans go BANANA~!, because they know that what they're about to see is the culmination of months and months of tension finally coming to a head, and that reaction continues as the first participant in the match steps out onto the stage, peering over his trademark orange tinted sunglasses at his fanbase while pyro explodes behind him! BUFFER Approaching the ring at this time, from Greenville, South Carolina...he weighs in tonight at two hundred and eighty four pounds...he is BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHEMOTH~! The big man, with adrenaline flowing through his veins, jogs in place at the head of the ramp before stepping through the ropes. After getting into the ring, Bo storms over to the corner and throws his arms up, then beats on his chest as he acknowledges the crowd, who have traveled the world over to get here for this spectacle tonight. Just as Bo climbs down from the ropes, that's when the music of his opponent hits, and as Bo bounces off the ropes he keeps his eyes set on the entranceway, while "Getting Away With Murder" brings the fans to a full scale eruption of cheers, even moreso when the other participant in this match becomes visible, pausing on the entranceway in the midst of the gold sparkles that rain down from the pyro, as he's greeted by the loud reaction of the crowd! BUFFER His opponent, hailing from Providence, Rhode Island...weighing in tonight at two hundred and ten pounds, he has been deemed The Franchise of the OAOAST, he is the one, the only...ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK MALIBUUUUUUUUUUUUUU~! Zack comes down the ramp, having locked eyes with Bo he can only offer a smirk, as if to say "this is what you've gotten yourself into". Zack hops into the ring and spins around, working the crowd as only he can, while Bo stands idly by, cracking his neck while his opponent plays to the people that love him so. The bell sounds, and the two stars stand off in the center of the ring, with the fans going crazy. Zack approaches fearlessly, with Bo's intimidating demeanor not affecting him in the slightest. They come face to face, the tension that has built in the last several months looking as if it's about to make their heads pop. Trash talking ensues, and the camera can barely pick up the sound of each man daring the other to make the first move. Bo takes a step back and stretches his arms out, daring Malibu to come at him...and Zack blasts him with a hard slap across the face to put him in place! Bo reacts, shoving Malibu so hard that Zack falls to the canvas, but he gets right back up and charges in! Zack tries for a tackle, but Bo uses his size advantage to keep his balance, and pounds on Zack's back to stop the attempt. Bo whips Zack to the ropes and catches him on the rebound, pressing him up over his head...but Zack rakes the eyes, temporarily blinding Bo! Bo loses his grip, having to tend to his eyes, while Zack lands behind him, bracing himself. As Bo regains his sight, he looks for Zack, turning around into a SC...NO! Zack's early attempt at a superkick was caught by Bo, who chuckles as he throws Zack's foot down and then blasts him with a standing lariat! COLE We're off to a rocking start in this one, Coach! I don't think the four sides of the squared circle are going to be able to contain this one! COACH Well, just look at it this way, Mikey Cole...if they don't, it's just one more call to the health insurance company that we have to make. Bo picks Zack up and traps him in a front chancery, using his large arm to squeeze Zack's head and put the pressure on it. Zack comes up to his feet, trying to find a better position than the one he's in, and manages to yank Bo's arm off his head by using a wristlock. Malibu then uses a go behind, but has trouble getting Bo over, so it's easily reversed by the big man, who takes Zack down to the mat with a rear waistlock takedown, and then applies a side headlock on the canvas. COLE The power of Bohemoth should come in handy in keeping Zack grounded. Zack fights up to his feet and shoves Bo forward into the ropes, but Bo responds by plowing over Zack with a shoulderblock. Malibu looks up from the canvas at Bo, who smirks and motions for Zack to come at him. Angered by the taunt, Malibu rolls to his feet and goes in for a lockup...but at the last second drives a knee into Bo's ribcage! Forearms across the back follow, and then a hard European uppercut sends Bo back a few steps! Malibu runs at Bo with a clothesline, but Bo drops his head and elevates Zack over the ropes...but Zack lands on the apron! Malibu takes Bo by the head and runs him over to the corner where he rams him facefirst into the top turnbuckle several times, staggering the hosstastic superstar! Malibu then leans over the ropes and shoves Bo back, watching as he hobbles off-balance in a daze, and leaps off the top rope with a flying lariat that takes the big man down! Malibu then mounts the shoulders and starts throwing elbows, one by one connecting with the face and head of Bo as he tries to cover up! Bo finally rolls Malibu off of him, and when Zack comes forward again, Bo takes his legs out from under him and now HE'S the one doing the hammering, as Malibu blocks his face with his elbows to deter the shots! Taking Zack by the head, Bo brings him up to his feet and starts hitting hammer punches to the kidneys, then shoves Zack backwards into the corner, and follows up by getting some momentum and ramming his shoulder into Zack's midsection! Seeing the effect this has, Bo does it several more times, then hooks Zack's arm and biels him out of the corner, throwing him onto his back! COACH Someone's got a fire in their belly tonight, and I don't mean the guys who ate in catering! Zack winces, and as he gets up he's taken hold of by his opponent, who hoists him up for a vertical suplex and holds him in the upside down position. Members of the crowd applaud as Bo shows off his strength advantage, then falls back to the canvas, dropping Malibu with the suplex! Bo scoops Zack up again and then wraps his arms around his waist, taking him off his feet and sitting him on the top rope! Bo climbs up onto the middle rope, but a quick headbutt stuns him, and Zack shoves him off. Though rattle, Bo gets up and gets to the corner before Zack can mount an offense and hurls him off the top rope with a slam, once again throwing Zack across the ring! Zack rolls out of the ring and crouches down, favoring his back. Bo walks across the ring and simply hops through the ropes to the floor, staring at Zack as he comes up. The two lock eyes, but before things can break down on the floor, they simultaneously roll back into the ring, roll to their feet, and tie up! Bo moves Zack around the ring, trying to back him against the ropes or into a corner, but Zack forces his way out of that predicament. Malibu then hooks the wrist of the big man and wrenches the arm, then jerks it as if he wants to yank it out of the socket! Malibu then follows up with hard, knife-edge chops across the chest of Bohemoth, but the more he's struck, the more furious he grows! Bo snarls as Zack opens fire with quicker, harder chops, but winds up with Bo's knee doubling him over! Bo then sets Zack up for a power bomb, but Malibu slips out of the grasp of his friend-slash-foe, and opens fire with hard, open hand strikes, smacking Bo against each side of his face time after time until he finishes the flurry with a roaring elbow that smashes Bohemoth flush in the jaw! Bo drops, then rolls to one knee, putting his hand under his chin when he realizes that the blood pooling on the canvas is coming from his jaw! COLE Bo's bleeding! Zack has busted the big man open with that series of strikes! Bo wipes his mouth clean, but it's a temporary solution as more blood drips out of the side of it...and Zack adds to the injury by taking Bo by the head and striking with a European uppercut! Bo falls back, the fall only broken by the ropes, and Zack uses that to send Bo off to the far side, while he hits the near side, using the momentum to nail his trademark leaping lariat! Malibu gets up and brings Bo to his feet, immediately sending him in motion towards the ropes. As Bo bounces back, Malibu spins and hits a back kick that crashes into Bo's ribcage, then a running kneelift as he's hunched over! Blood spews from the mouth of the big man as he spins towards the ropes, dazed and draped over the top. He stands upright and turns to his foe, but Malibu bursts forward with a bicycle kick that knocks Bo out through the ropes! The big man clings to the ropes, not allowing himself to crash onto the ringside floor, but as he pulls himself up on the apron, Malibu charges the corner, leaps to the middle rope, and then jumps back with a dropkick that sends Bo flying off the apron, down onto the guardrail below! COACH I'm glad I ain't sittin' front row...do you know how hard it is to get blood out of a suit? COLE Covering your tracks now that Chris Hansen is on your trail? COACH Har har. Ringside fans rush over, snapping pictures and getting their brief brush with fame by patting Bo on the back, but the big man is feeling the effect of the jaw injury, as he's just smashed it against the unforgiving steel. Bo slowly rises to his feet, glassy-eyed from the impact. Blood pours out of his mouth as he staggers, right into a baseball slide from Malibu that sends him falling back against the edge of the announce table! Malibu peppers Bo with forearms, looking to expose the weakness, and all Bo can do is shove Malibu away while he tries to regain his composure. Malibu attacks again, but Earl Hebner steps in and orders Zack back into the ring while he checks on Bohemoth. Assured that he's OK, Hebner climbs back into the ring and begins the count, showing no favortism now that Bo has agreed he can go on. With blood now oozing rapidly from his mouth, Bo pushes up to his feet and turns around, unbalanced, and right into the path of a pescado by Malibu...WHICH HE CATCHES! Bo isn't taken down by the aerial manuever, and instead it has now backfired on Malibu, who finds himself pressed overhead, then thrown clear over the top rope and back into the ring by the powerful primadonna! Bo then slides back into the ring, looking disgruntled as he looms over Malibu, bloody jaw and all. He reaches down and pulls Zack up, but it proves to be a fatal mistake, as Zack quickly hits a jawbreaker, stunning him! Zack then takes Bo by the head and runs him facefirst into the top turnbuckle, then hooks Bo by the waist as he staggers back and takes him over with a German suplex! ONE! T-KICKOUT! COLE Zack might have found a chink in the armor now, but I don't think Bo is going to go down this soon into the contest. Malibu brings Bo up, keeping him dazed with quick forearms across the cheek so that Bo is hurting while Zack runs the ropes...but when Zack bounces off, Bo hits a big boot out of nowhere, smashing the popular prep right across HIS face! Bo follows up with an elbowdrop, then runs the ropes and comes off with a big splash...but Zack rolls out of the way! Bo comes up on his knees, shaking off the effects of the missed move, while Zack springs off the ropes once again, leaping up for a ZACK ATTACK...but Bo pops up, grabs Zack in midair, and spins over with a powerslam that nearly leaves the imprint of Zack Malibu's body in the canvas! ONE! TW-NO! COLE That one came back to haunt Zack. He's trying to weaken Bo as fast as he can...that's why we saw the School's Out attempt in the early and the Zack Attack attempt just now. He knows that Bo has fallen to the quick kill before, like back at the Triple Cage Match at November Reign. Injury or not though, he can't take Bo for granted! Bo picks Zack up and quickly nails Zack with an inverted atomic drop, then spins him around and hits an atomic drop, and then grabs Zack and dumps him over his shoulders with a quick back suplex! Bo then bounces off the ropes and then connects with the big splash that missed several minutes earlier, and once again hooks Zack's leg, hoping for a three count! ONE! TW-NO! COACH I think Bo might be takin' Zack a little bit for granted too. He's in there with the most resilient man in the wrestling business today...it's gonna take more than a few powerslams and suplexes to be Mr. Anglemania! Bo picks Zack up, and quickly applies an abdominal stretch, working over both Zack's sore back and ribs. Earl Hebner keeps watch as Malibu squirms, trying to free himself. He reaches out, hoping to grab hold of the top rope, but he's too far out and he falls flat on the attempt. He stretches himself, doing more harm than good as he adds to the pressure, simply to try and get the break, but Bo releases the hold, then drops Zack across his knee with a backbreaker! He rolls Zack onto his stomach and drives a knee into the lower back. He then plants both of his knees in Zack's back and drops backwards, pulling Zack up onto his knees and bending him over them with a bow and arrow submission! COACH Hey, a BO and Arrow! COLE Your head should pop out of a Laugh-In box. Malibu groans in agony, trying to slide his body off the knees of Bohemoth while being bent over them. He wriggles and wriggles, and finally shifts himsef off the knees, rolling onto Bo's upper body and hooking a leg back for a surprise pin attempt! ONE! NO! Bohemoth kicks out easily, shoving Zack off of him. As he gets up, Zack charges, but Bo drops his head down and elevates Zack into the air, sending him over with a back bodydrop! Zack winces, visibly shaken from the most recent of the falls he's taken in this contest. He gets up, open to Bo who rushes with a lariat, but Zack throws his elbows up and blocks! Bo pulls back, tending to his arm, and Zack tries for a discus lariat...but his arm gets grabbed by Bo, who then takes him by the throat with one hand and drives him into the canvas with a chokeslam! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Zack kicks out and rolls away, as Bo rests on his knees, taking a moment to catch his breath. Zack rolls to the corner and uses the turnbuckles to bring himself to his feet, but Bo comes up and charges in, sandwiching Zack against the turnbuckles before he can make a full recovery! Zack starts to slump, and Bo turns him around and sets him up in the corner, then runs to the ropes and comes off with a FACEWASH~! that just may have send a few of Zack Malibu's pearly whites sailing into the crowd! Bo pulls Zack up and shoots him off to the opposite side, but Malibu regains control of the situation by springing up onto the ropes and then jumping back...but Bo waits on him, catching him in mid-leap! Bo rests Zack on his shoulder then hurls him forward, dropping him with Snake Eyes on the top turnbuckle, then taking him and dropping him on the top rope! Bo sets Zack up and then exits the ring, going out to the apron and then climbing up to the top so that he's face to face with Zack. Bo sets himself up on the top rope with Zack, stuffing Zack's head between his legs. Looking out to the crowd that's coming alive with the anticipation of what's about to happen, Bo hoists Zack up for a SUPER POWERBOMB~!...THAT ZACK REVERSES INTO A HURACANRANA, SENDING BOTH MEN SAILING OFF THE TOP ROPE~! COACH YO~! COLE SUPER HURACANRANA~! ZACK MALIBU JUST ESCAPED A LIKELY DEFEAT WITH THAT MOVE, AND SEND BO CRASHING TO THE MAT! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" The fans chant loudly and in unison, as both competitors lay on the canvas, staring up at the overhead lights beaming down on them. Camera close-ups show both men gasping for air, trying desperately to regain some of that expended energy in an effort to take the other down. It's Malibu who stirs first, rolling onto his stomach, and then crawling over to Bo, pulling him closer to the center of the ring and then draping himself over him, hooking the leg as he waits on Hebner to do his job. ONE! TWO! T-NO! SHOULDER UP! COLE Now Bohemoth escapes defeat, as the shoulders came off the mat! Zack rolls onto his back and wipes the sweat from his brow as he comes up, surveying the damage done thus far to Bo. Leading Bo up, Zack then opens fire with hard kicks, connecting with the area just above Bo's kneecap, noticeably hobbling the big man! Bo tries to get away, but having his equilibrium disrupted and a bad wheel will not get you far, as Malibu reaches down and grabs the bad leg, dragon screwing him to the canvas! Zack then holds the bad leg and delivers several kicks while Bo is down, further weaking the knee joint and leg muscles, then takes the leg and wraps it up, going for a figure four leglock...but just as he's about to cinch it in, the big man reaches up, pulling Malibu down into a cradle! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COACH He might be down, but he certainly ain't out! COLE Good work by Zack in now targeting the leg of Bohemoth. Bo's got the obvious power advantage, but it's going to be tough to throw Zack around like he's been doing if he can't support his weight. Bo is still slow to get up, so Zack looks to regain control...but as he extends his arm going for the Metrosexual Monster, Bo quickly hooks it, wrapping around Zack's back and hooking the other arm as well, using a backslide to try to score the pin over the former World Champion! ONE! TW-NO! Zack rolls backwards, back up to his feet, escaping the pinning predicament. As Bo gets up, Zack traps his arms in a butterfly lock, then brings his knees up, striking Bo as he's unable to defend against the blows. After the series of knees, Zack then summons the strength to bring the big man into the air, throwing him overhead with a butterfly suplex! COLE Strong showing by Zack there, channeling that adrenaline and momentum into using some power moves of his own on the monstrous superstar! With Bo down, Malibu hits the ropes and comes back with a kneedrop, driving the point of it into the forehead of his opponent. Sensing the agony that Bo is enduring, Malibu drags him away from the ropes and brings him to his feet, then takes his right hand and uses it to engulf Bo's head, squeezing his cranium like a grape! COLE IRON CLAW~! Malibu has the Iron Claw on Bohemoth! COACH That's what you call kickin' it old school! COLE Malibu has always noted that some of his heroes growing up were the Von Erichs, and began utilizing this move in his arsenal several years ago as HI-YAH Champion, when the Japanese fans dubbed Zack the Modern Day Warrior, a moniker he shares with the late, great Kerry Von Erich! Bo screams in pain, as the pressure put on by Malibu is only intensifying his already wounded state. Zack uses his left arm to hold his right arm in place, refusing to let go, as Bo rests on his knees, trying to power up. He uses his hands and grabs Zack's wrist, but all that seems to do is hold the claw in place as he fights back. Coming up onto one knee, Bo squeezes Zack's wrist as hard as he can, and is able to power up to both feet, giving him the leverage to tear the hold away! Gassed, he shoves Malibu backwards, but Zack uses it to hit the ropes and come off with a low dropkick, taking Bo's knee out from under him! Positioned on one knee again, Bo favors the leg after the hit, leaving him prone for Malibu to make another run to the ropes, this time connecting with the ZACK ATTACK~!, sending blood spewing from the mouth of Bohemoth! COLE ZACK ATTACK~! This could be it right here, Coach! Realizing what an opportunity this is, Malibu hurriedly goes for the cover, hooking the leg tightly! ONE! TWO! T-NO! SHOULDER UP! BOHEMOTH GETS THE SHOULDER UP! COACH It ain't over til it's over, Mikey Cole, and the Well-Dressed Warrior isn't about to lose to the Modern Day Warrior just yet! Pounding the mat in frustration, Malibu and Bo come up again, with Malibu leading the way. He looks to send Bo across the ring to the ropes, but at the last second, Bo reverses! He drops his head, but Zack puts on the brakes and delivers a hard kick, sending Bo back to the vertical base...smiling! Bo grins, showing off his blood stained teeth, as the kick has no effect, and he levels the startled Malibu with a standing lariat! The split crowd, who have been watching every move each man makes, roars with approval as Bo starts a comeback, first stomping Malibu with his good leg, then taking him off the canvas, grabbing him and shoving him backwards into the ropes again, this time catching Zack and spinning around with a hard spinebuster that shakes the ring! Wiping the blood from his mouth, Bo then flicks it at Zack as he looks up, grossing out the preppy poster boy, then stuffs him into a standing headscissors, looking to the supportive crowd for a brief moment before lifting Zack up with a power bomb...THAT MALIBU COUNTERS BY PUTTING THE IRON CLAW BACK ON AS HE RESTS ON BO'S SHOULDERS! COLE HE'S GOT HIM HOOKED AGAIN! COACH He won't be able to hold his weight, not on that leg! Just as Coach called, Bo staggers, trying to both keep his balance and fight the effects of the claw. Hebner watches as Bo teeters around the ring, refusing to let go of Malibu and allow him to take over again...so he STUFFS HIM into the canvas with a powerbomb...AND MALIBU STILL REFUSES TO LET GO! Bohemoth, screaming out as he uses every ounce of strength in his system, deadlifts Maliub up off the canvas, back up onto his shoulders...AND HURLS ZACK OVER THE TOP ROPE WITH A RELEASE POWER BOMB ONTO THE RAMP BEFORE COLLAPSING BACK! COACH God DAMN~! COLE WHAT POWER! WHAT A SHOW OF STRENGTH BY BOHEMOTH! He fought off that Iron Claw for a second time, and threw Zack Malibu almost ten feet down the rampway! Bo is out on the canvas. Zack is out on the ramp. Earl Hebner still can't believe what just happened, and neither can the fans, who are going insane. Though it's fair game to begin counting Zack out at this point, Hebner let's his natural instinct take over, and steps through the ropes to go see how Zack is doing, as do two trainers who rush out from the back to see if he's OK. COLE Zack Malibu landed hard on that ramp, and now referee Earl Hebner and several of our staff members are tending to him, making sure he hasn't been seriously hurt. The trainers tend to Zack, who is moving and talking, although it's inaudible to the viewer at home. The trainers tend to Zack as he sits up, and Hebner returns back to the ring and begins making the count, while Bohemoth himself finally starts to stir. Zack gets up to his feet to a huge response, and blows off the trainers, making his way back to the ring as the fans cheer him on! Zack gingerly steps through the ropes and paces towards Bohemoth, cracking him with a hard right hand as he comes up...and Bo retaliates with one of his own! Zack reels from the blow, then comes back with another hard right hand, then sends Bo to the ropes! He comes back and Zack tries for a hiptoss, but Bo blocks, then scoops Zack up and drops him with a bodyslam! Bo then applies a nerve pinch, pressing into the side of Zack's neck before he can get up to his feet, as Bo utilizes the move to both weaken Zack and allow himself to regain some of his energy. Zack cringes while trapped in the move, yet is able to get up to his feet, and drives his elbow into Bo's ribs twice to get the break! He takes Bo by the head and wrenches it, then calls for a bulldog...but as he runs across the ring and his feet leave the canvas, Bo pushes off, causing Zack to crash land on his own! Malibu once again finds himself hurting after being dropped hard to the canvas, and when he comes up Bo charges forward and turns Malibu inside out, spearing the OAOAST's favorite son right out of his boots! Sensing his rival has lost a step after all he's had to endure thus far, Bo picks Zack up into his arms and moves in for the coup de grace, swinging Malibu outward into his trademark Rock Bottom like manuever the EROTIC AWAKENING OF B...but just before Malibu is driven to the canvas, he pulls Bo's head down into the canvas, spiking him with a DDT as he falls! COLE Great counter by Zack! Both men are once again exhausted, and a quick camera close up shows Bo, looking as if he's asleep, with blood from his mouth pooling on the canvas. Malibu is breathing heavy but not moving, as he's been the one on the defensive for the last several minutes and needs to pace himself if he expects to keep this match going his way now that he's taken Bo down. Hebner issues the standing 10 count, which both men can surely hear, but are going to take full advantage of. Malibu rolls onto his stomach at the count of 5, but doesn't come up to his feet, and neither does Bo. By 7, Zack is pushing up and Bo is just starting to stir. Zack, being closer to the ropes, has help in getting to his feet, but Bo pushes up, and though hobbling, is up by 10 just as Zack has pulled himself up to his feet as well! Bo turns around and Zack turns away from the ropes simultaneously...AND MALIBU CRACKS BOHEMOTH WITH A SCHOOL'S OUT~! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAH~!" COACH He caught him! He got him with the knockout blow, Mikey Cole! Bo sells it as though he's been shot, and Malibu literally falls on top of him, still remembering to hook the leg~! ONE! TWO! THREE... ... ... ...NO! NO! BOHEMOTH KICKS OUT! BOHEMOTH KICKS OUT OF A SCHOOL'S OUT! COLE HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!? HOW DID BOHEMOTH SURVIVE THAT SHOT, AFTER EVERYTHING THAT'S GONE DOWN HERE TONIGHT! COACH This is what it's all about! This is Anglemania, the night that anything can happen, the night that no one wants to be denied, and that's what we're seein' right here, Mikey! The already conflicted crowd, the same people that cheered when Zack hit the superkick, also cheer when Bo kicks out, and as Malibu sits up and looks at Hebner make the "two" symbol with his fingers, he cannot believe what just happened. COLE Zack Malibu can't believe it! Bohemoth has withstood the same move that has slayed many an OAOAST superstar! Zack picks Bo up and shoots him into the corner, charging in as quick as he can and striking Bo with a ZACK ATTACK II~! that he can't avoid! Before Bo drops to the canvas, Zack scoops him up and sits him on the top rope, then climbs up himself. Malibu delivers a series of punches to the temple, making sure his opponent is in no position to pull off a counter-move as he's then hooked by the head and snapped all the way down to the canvas with a superplex...and Zack rolls through with it bringing Bo up with him, and cradles the leg before lifting him up and SPIKING HIM WITH A FALLING STAR DRIVER~! COACH A double shot of DAMN~! right there! COLE Zack Malibu, nailing the superplex first, and immediately following with the Falling Star Driver! That HAD to do it! ONE! TWO! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEE...NO! FOOT ON THE ROPE! BOHEMOTH PLACES HIS FOOT ON THE BOTTOM ROPE AND THE PIN IS STOPPED! COLE I don't believe it! How could he move at all after that? Malibu seems incensed at the persistence of Bo, but he presses on, not letting it get the better of him. After dragging Bo away from the ropes, Zack positions him close to center ring, then heads out to the apron. Malibu then goes to the top, the look in his eye one of hope, as he hopes that whatever he does from here will be enough to seal the deal. He leaps into the air, kicking his legs out in front of him so that he lands with a guillotine legdrop...and he does, it's just that he hits NOTHING BUT CANVAS, as Bo manages to roll away in the nick of time! Zack hollers as the pain shoots from his tailbone up his spine, and he gingerly gets up...but winds up stumbling into the clutches of Bo, who plants him with a front spinebuster! Bo then peels Zack off the canvas before he can react, and scoops him off his feet...then takes the Franchise and swings him out into the EROTIC AWAKENING OF B~!, sending him into the canvas with a thundering crash! ONE! TWO! THREE... ...NO! NO! ZACK KICKS OUT! The crowd is going bonkers, waiting for what comes next as neither man can seem to keep his opponent down long enough for the three count! Bo picks Zack up and sets him up for a power bomb, but as he lifts, Zack miraculously escapes, sliding down Bo's back...ANGLE SLAM~!...NO! Bo slides free of THAT, takes Zack by the head and sets him up once again for a powerbomb, which he hits! ONE! TWO! THREEEEEEEENO! NO! ZACK KICKS OUT OF THE POWERBOMB! Bo rolls onto his back, then gets to his feet, looking soured that Malibu just won't give. COLE Look at the look on Bo's face, Coach! That is the look of an angry man! COACH He's taken his fair share of the punishment in this one...he's aching, he's sore, and now he's starting to wonder if he's going to be able to beat Zack Malibu! Bo reaches down and picks Zack up, but Zack stuns him with a jawbreaker as he does! Malibu shakes the cobwebs off and moves in for the kill, taking Bo and sending him in...NO! Bo counters and sends Zack off the ropes, then nails him with a diving shoulderblock, knocking Zack through the ropes! Malibu hangs on, landing on the apron rather than the floor, which Bo doesn't realize as he comes up off the mat. Zack gets to his feet, and after measuring Bo up, launches himself in with a springboard lariat...BUT GETS CAUGHT AND DROPPED WITH AN INVERTED ATOMIC DROP~! Bo picks Zack up...EROTIC AWAKENING OF B ONCE AGAIN~! COVER~! ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! COLE IT'S OVER! HE DID IT! COACH BO JUST BEAT ZACK! The sound of his theme song is music to his ears, as Bo rolls off of Zack, seemingly chuckling to himself, content with having just done what only one other person ever did...defeat Zack Malibu on the grandest stage in wrestling today. Bo slowly gets to his feet, and when he does his hand is raised, which is welcomed by a crowd who appreciates not only the win, but the effort involved. COLE An amazing match with two tremendous athletes, and tonight Bohemoth was the better man, securing a three count over Zack Malibu after surviving an offensive onslaught like no other from Malibu! COACH Give it up for Zack too, Mikey Cole. Both these guys busted their asses big time here tonight! Bo limps around the ring, his knee still giving him trouble after being a target for Malibu earlier on. Bo leans on the turnbuckles, then climbs up on them and raises his arms, basking in the victory as many members of this capacity crowd respond loudly with cheers. Bo steps down and turns around, then stops dead in his tracks, as Malibu comes up and inches towards Bo. Favoring his back, Malibu comes forward, staring at Bo without fear in his eyes...and extends a hand. COLE And there it is, folks. Winning streaks and championships are certainly important in our industry, but there's no prize greater than the respect of your peers, especially someone like Zack Malibu, and that's what Bohemoth has earned here tonight! The crowd cheers loudly, as Bo looks to each side. He focuses on Malibu, staring the man he just defeated not more than two minutes ago...and WALKS RIGHT PAST HIM! COLE Wait...what? What is he doing? COACH Bohemoth just dissed Zack Malibu, hardcore! Bo steps through the ropes and out onto the ramp, and starts heading to the back, the once supportive crowd now drowning him out with boos, while a confused and angered Malibu stands in the ring. COLE I know things have been tense with these two, but come on, Bo! Be a man and go back and shake his hand! Malibu stands in the ring, able to do nothing but look up the ramp at Bo, who stops at the entraceway and raises his arms again, drawing loud boos for the second time tonight. The cameras pick up on Bo pounding his chest, saying that "It's MY night!" and giving the crowd one last look before disappearing behind the curtain. Malibu, meanwhile, begins his slow walk up the ramp, shaking his head in disbelief that Bohemoth has taken the low road after a classic contest. COLE Biff Atlas is with superstar actress Kate Hudson...Come on people he's from LA, his parents are here, he's gotta get on the show somehow! Biff? We're taken to the stands where Biff Atlas in blue short sleeve dress shirt, red bow tie, and black slacks stands with the more casually dressed Kate Hudson. Its fairly obvious Kate wants nothing to do with Biff. She and the other 89 members of the OAOAST roster! BIFF Miss Hudson, the OAOAST has scent me to this rickety, unstable, poorly supported, death trap known better to the ignorants as the “stands” to see what you have to say about the upcoming contest between Krista Isadora Duncan and Alix Maria Spezia. After all you are friends with both, and you made a guest appearance in their Battle of Los Angeles match against the South Central Militia, which I was also suckered into. If I had possessed the knowledge of a safe, risk free lifestyle I have now, I never would've agreed to be in a match which featured swordplay, high speed chases through densely populated areas, men being ran over by batmobiles, usage of fire without supervision by fire safety officials, and asphyxiation. But, what's done is done, I can't change my past I can only look to the future! A future in which I have safe guarded the world against all hazards! Hazards like your empty popcorn carton laid out in the aisle way! KATE That's not mi.. BIFF When I look at this carton I see a murder weapon. When I look up I see the face of a killer. You, Miss Hudson. You! What if someone tripped because of your refusal to use proper waste containers. Chances are they'd fall into the stairway, then tumble down each and every stair, hitting their heads until they smacked the bottom and took their last breath. Death! That's what awaits them thanks to this health and safety violation. And that, Miss Hudson, would be all your fault. KATE Very interesting. I offer you this in response. Much to everyone in the universe's delight, Kate Hudson chucks Biff Atlas over the balcony straight to his death. Well, sadly not his death. Biff took precautionary measures and pre padded the area bellow before the segment. Thus he lands on soft pillows of white with nothing more but hurt pride. BIFF (screaming from bellow) You will not silence me! We dissolve from Kate shaking her head at Biff's stupidity back to ringside

COLE One of the longest standing issues in the OAOAST has been between Todd Cortez and Landon Maddix. You can trace back five months to Cortez's involvement in Landon's relinquishing of the OAOAST World Title at the Halloween Spectacular. You can trace it back to Syndicated in London when Zack Malibu convinced Cortez to go it alone, without Landon's guidance. Or you can trace it back some three years to their acrimonious split in the SWF. Either way, the face is, this is a long standing grudge. And tonight here at AngleMania VII, they go one on one once more. Cortez now finds himself under Landon's guidance, by force, as part of Cucaracha Internacional. But after winning the Torneo Cibernetico a couple of weeks ago Cortez got his pick of AngleMania opponent and he took the opportunity to get a hold of his supposed 'boss' with both hands. COACH See, this issue is long and it's storied and it's based on one thing. Landon is better than Cortez and he can't accept that. COLE Oh come on. COACH All Landon's tried to do in his life is give this punk from the streets an opportunity. An opportunity to be at his side, to be his second in command. And Cortez has just got too big of an ego to accept that he's a better number two than a number one like Landon. COLE That was the biggest load of number two I've ever heard, but that's par for the course with you I suppose. Let's go to the ring. *DINGDING!* BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first... "PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!" The thousands upon thousands inside the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum all rise to their feet, booing the opening of Incubus' "Megalomaniac". And tonight being a special night, we're getting the long intro, the full intro to the song. The ominous drumbeat and guitar builds through the arena, building up until... ...WAAAAAHHHHH... *DUM DUM* *BOOM~!* *BOOM~!* *KA-BOOM~!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Three pursts of pyro, red and yellow for the Spanish superstar, erupt into the California sky. Underneath them walks Landon Maddix, flanked as ever by Megan Skye, one finger raised triumphantly in the air. Landon shows off a brand new sleeveless leather trenchcoat for this special occassion, with a red and yellow stripe running curving down the front on the right side while the crest of Cucaracha Internacional sits on the breast on the left. Smiling away, Landon stops and holds his hands triumphantly out at his sides as he looks out into the vast arena and crowd. BUFFER Hailing from Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Spain. Weighing in at two hundred and eight pounds. He is led to the ring tonight by his "Perfect 10", MEGAN SKYE... the former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion and a former FOUR-TIME Champion of the World in total! He also holds the title of Commissioner of the Smartmarks Wrestling Federation and is the proud leader of Cucaracha Internacional! Ladies and gentlemen, this is... LANDON! "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMMAAAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXX!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Smiling through the abuse, Landon nods his head and sends a "shout-out" to everybody in South Dakota as the camera follows him down the long aisleway. COLE Well, I'm sure the twenty or so people watching back home appreciate that. COACH Hey now! "HEEEEEEYYY MEG-A-LOMANIAC! You're no Jesus, yeah you're no f--kin' Elvis..." Finally reaching the ring, Landon scales the ringsteps with that same confident smile on his face. He blows a kiss to the unreceptive crowd as he walks down the apron, waiting for Megan to position herself sat on the middle rope, holding it open for her man. Landon gets serious about proceedings for the first time at this point, putting his head down and saying some words to himself before he spins himself into the ring with a grandious entrance as ever. COLE It's been quite a year since Landon's AngleMania debut 12 months ago. Most of it good, after he cashed in his Money In The Bank contract to win the World Championship. However the one blot on the landscape has been Todd Cortez, or more specifically Todd Cortez's Riot Act Plus. COACH That's no problem anymore though. I spoke to Landon and he assured me, he's been working with the rest of Cucaracha Internacional all week. He's been working with one of the best technical wrestlers in the company, Nathaniel Black. And he assures me, he's got the Riot Act Plus scouted now. COLE That remains to be seen. Infact, most people believe that's the only reason Landon forced Cortez into joining Cucaracha Internacional back in February, because it was the only way he could stop getting dropped on his head! And we all saw how that worked out back at Cibernetico! Climbing to the middle rope, Landon goads the Los Angeles crowd before turning to the entrance way... ...as "Oh No" by Mos Def, Nate Dogg, and Pharoah Monche hits. No fancy pyro or new attire for Todd Cortez, it's the same old Urban Legend and he's ready as always. Head down, he marches with a purpose to the ring, right towards La Cucaracha. BUFFER And his opponent! Hailing from "Hollywood Boulevard"... he weighs in tonight at two hundred, twenty six pounds. He himself a member of Cucaracha Internacional... ladies and gentlemen, he is "THE URBAN LEGEND"... TTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODD... CCOOOOOORRRRRRRRRTTEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZ!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Cortez continues to march on to the ring with the same look etched on his face. In the ring, Landon has stripped off his jacket and talks things over with Megan. COACH Boy, we could have done with those ring-carts again this year, huh? COLE Well, the walk is long but I doubt even tonight we'd have time to run down all the history between the two. The most pertinent part of it though is that Todd Cortez is officially a member of Landon's Cucaracha Internaiconal after his defeat in February. This might be the last chance Cortez ever gets to fight Landon! And you can bet he's going to be determined to make good on this opportunity. As Cortez nears the ring, Landon and Megan exit to the outside for a little more safety in their strategy session. COLE Cortez has been responsible for so much heartache for La Cucaracha. He beat him at Syndicated in London, England with the Riot Act Plus. He cost him the World Title with the Riot Act Plus. He hit Riot Act Plus again at November Reign in the Triple Decker Cage which ultimately cost him victory. He cost him in the Lethal Rumble via the Riot Act Plus! Will Cortez defeat Landon here tonight at AngleMania and will it be by the old stand-by, or does Todd have something else up his sleeve perhaps? In slides Cortez and he climbs the turnbuckles right over Landon, looking down on him and unnerving La Cucaracha a little if the look on his face is anything to go by. Pacing around outside, Landon tries to focus as Cortez hops down from the turnbuckles and removes the gold chain from around his neck, kissing it before handing it out of the ring. Cortez removes his bulletproof vest next, crouching down in the corner and waiting for Landon to join him back in the ring. COLE So here we go. Cortez and Maddix, one more time, here at AngleMania VII. *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds and immediately Cortez makes a dart towards his 'superior', chasing him around the ring... and forcing Landon to duck through the ropes to get him backed up! Despite being so fired up, Cortez does back up and dares Landon to fight him like a man, in the centre of the ring. But Landon is working on his own time as always and has a little pow-wow with Megan to stall. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" COLE Landon should be used to that chant by now, but maybe not from ninety odd thousand people at once. After clearing things up with Megan, Maddix weaves back inside and Cortez goes after him again. But again Landon isn't ready just yet. Keeping his distance from The Urban Legend he encourages Todd to 'calm down' and tries to talk his way out of trouble. With pleads of "let's not do this", Landon finally gets Todd's attention... and actually LIES DOWN, encouraging Cortez to pin him! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE You've got to be joking. COACH No no. Sportsmanship of this nature is nothing to joke about. Landon Maddix knows how much victory at AngleMania means to his friend so he's going to lay down and sacrifice himself for him. What a gracious move on Landon's part! COLE What a bogus move, or just plain cowardly, who knows which!? Understandably, Cortez can't quite believe what he's seeing as Landon waves at him from the canvas to hurry up and make the cover, to the clear annoyance of the crowd. Cortez doesn't seem to want the victory that way though and refuses to comply. Frustrated at this, Megan jumps to the apron and gets on Todd's case. Turning to his former girlfriend, Cortez argues his point. But the moment he takes his eye off of La Cucaracha, the sneaky Spaniard suddenly KIPS-UP and charges... ...RIGHT INTO A SLAP TO THE FACE!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Caught red-handed, Maddix throws his hands up and tried to beg off but gets struck in the thigh with a kick! Another kick buckles the leg and Landon falls into a corner. Following in, Cortez rocks Landon with a succession of hard kicks to the chest before looking for an irish whip. Reversal by Landon, but Cortez bounces right out of the corner and hits a cross-kick to the chest to knock Maddix right off his feet! Maddix quickly bails to the outside to get away from the kicking onslaught, but he doesn't get far enough quick enough, Cortez right on his tail and landing with a forearm! Megan is sent scurrying as Landon staggers around ringside. Catching up to his arch-enemy, Cortez spins him around and rocks him with a right hand. And another. And a third. COLE This is what Todd Cortez came to AngleMania for! And this is all Todd Cortez wants out of Landon Maddix, the chance to use him as a human punch and/or kickbag! COACH Even after Landon offered to lay down for him. COLE Which, as we all saw, was 100% genuine. Landon continues to try and get away from Cortez, but gets grabbed by his blonde locks and pulled back against the barricade... *SLAP!* "AAAAAAHHHHHH!" ...before taking a chop that has him yelping in pain! *SLAP!* "AAAAAAHHHHHH!" Another ear-piercing scream echoes into the California air and Landon again goes off around the ring in retreat. COLE I don't think you'll hear sounds so shrill as that anywhere in the OAOAST, even in the Women's Division! Realising the outside isn't too safe right now, Landon rolls back into the ring. Cortez follows but gets grabbed as soon as he gets to his feet, sent off the ropes with an irish whip. Clothesline from Landon misses... and so does a back elbow. So Maddix drops down to try and trip Cortez, but The Urban Legend tumbles over the top. First to his feet, Cortez then waits for Landon to turn around before landing with a hard thrust kick to the breadbasket! Snap suplex follows, Cortez with the cover... 1... 2... No! Landon climbs back to his feet and backs into a corner... *SLAP!* "AAAAAAHHHHHH!" ...which doesn't reprieve him from another chop! COLE Again with the screaming. COACH Don't make fun of the man, just because he's got sensitive nipples. Nothing wrong with that. Pulled out of the corner, Maddix gets kicked in the back of the leg. Then the stomach. And then the back of the leg again. Cortez then lands with a spinkick to the gut to finish up his combo. Doubled over, Landon gets grabbed by the head and pulled into a standing hea... NO! Sensing Riot Act Plus, Maddix bottoms out and picks the ankle, mounting Cortez and gouging at the eyes!! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FI..." Landon breaks before he can be disqualified, but the damage has been done it would seem. COLE Wow. The moment Landon sensed that Riot Act Plus, he seemed to shift into another mode... a survival mode if you will! COACH Well that Riot Act Plus is game over. And nobody knows that better, unfortunately, than Landon Maddix. Cortez gets back to his feet and with his eyes stinging, he walks right into a right hand. A couple more rights find the mark, before Landon grabs a hold of Cortez's head and rakes his eyes across the top ring-rope to do even further damage! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Recoiling off the ropes, Cortez staggers around blindly as Landon fends off the warnings of referee Charles Robinson. Off the ropes, Landon leaps up and clubs Cortez between the shoulder blades with a forearm, the force of which sends Cortez spilling out through the ropes and to the arena floor with a thud. Finally on top, Landon takes a moment to pose for the Los Angeles crowd while Cortez writhes around on the outside. COLE Any misgivings Landon might have had about this match are out of the window now. He's here and it's happening, whether he likes it or not. COACH He doesn't like it Michael, no question about it. He doesn't WANT to hurt Todd Cortez. But, as you so rightly said, he HAS to hurt Todd Cortez, because he's so stubborn he just doesn't understand and accept that he's second best. COLE That's arguable, but tonight will hopefully go some way to prove who is the better man. That's why Cortez wanted this match in the first place, the match he had to earn in the Cibernetico since he's now contractually obligated to Cucaracha Internacional. COACH Cortez HAD his match! Twice! And Landon beat him both times... COLE Thanks to the use of the ringpost and then the help of Megan Skye, sure. Todd Cortez has beaten Landon plenty of times, nearly all with the Riot Act Plus... COACH But never when it counts! Having soaked up the grandeur of AngleMania long enough, Landon exits the ring to retrieve Todd Cortez. A forearm leaves Cortez slumped against the ring apron. And a second finds the mark. Landon then shoos a cameraman out of the way... *THUD!* ...AND THROWS CORTEZ FACE-FIRST INTO THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!! COLE OH! Right out in front of us! COACH If Cortez wants to turn this into a street fight, then Landon isn't going to lay down without that fight... well, not unless it's to lull him into a false sense of security like earlier. COLE Naturally. With his mouth running as ever Maddix peels Cortez off the table and dumps him back inside the ring, looking for the pin... 1... 2... No! After getting on the referee's case, Landon stops Cortez from getting back to his feet with another gouging of the eyes. As Cortez leans over the middle rope, Landon then reaches over and FISHHOOKS The Urban Legend LANDON THIS IS WHY I'M NUMBER ONE! THIS IS WHY I'M THE BOSS! COACH Yeah, you tell him Landon! Put him in line! Breaking the fishhook, Landon pulls Cortez up and pops him with a forearm. And a second. An irish whip then sends Cortez for the ride, Maddix springing up to meet him with a beautiful Dropsault! So beautiful infact, Landon feels the need to stop mid-match and pose for added effect. COACH See, Cortez thought he could just walk into the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, turn it into a fight, kick Landon a few times and that he'd just roll over. Cortez should know Landon's far, far tougher than that though. They don't call him 'La Cucaracha' for nothing. How DO you kill a cockroach? Huh? COLE How about a Riot Act Plus? COACH Oh please. Maddix pulls Cortez back up and lays in another forearm. But all his posturing has given Todd time to recover and he fires right back! Landon hits another forearm. But so does Cortez! Just as the Los Angeles crowd start to get hope though, it's cut off, via a knee to the breadbasket. Landon then snapmares Cortez over... and DRILLS him in the back with a hard kick! Cover... 1... 2... No! Front facelock applied, Landon tries to turn The Urban Legend over into the Wet Cement. Cortez blocks being positioned on his backside long enough to go to the ribs with short, shrift shots, enough to soften Landon up. He then rocks back and catches Landon in an inside cradle... 1... 2... No! Maddix beats Cortez up and lays in a kick. When that doesn't seem to work, he then goes back to the eyes, which most assuredly does. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Quickly, Landon sets Cortez up and executes a back suplex. La Cucaracha then heads up to the middle rope, waiting on Cortez to stand. The crowd get on Landon's case as he grows tired of waiting and amuses himself by sarcastically cheering Cortez on. Then, as Cortez reaches his feet, Maddix finally takes off... and connects with a dropkick to the chest! Head over heels rolls The Urban Legend, right across the ring, coming up on one knee and in position for the SHINING WIZARD... ...DUCKED! Stopping himself in the turnbuckles, Landon turns around and runs at Cortez. Clothesline is caught though, Cortez swinging himself underneath and looking to pull Maddix in for the Riot Act Plus again. But Landon catches the kick to the gut and trips Cortez off his feet. Maddix then leaps onto Cortez with all of his two hundred eight pounds, first with the double stomp, then the back senton splash! COLE Landon just a step ahead right there. COACH As always. Hook of the leg by Landon... 1... 2... Kickout! Frustrated at not getting the pinfall, Landon reaches back and slaps his opponent in the chest before warning the referee that could be him next, "pal!". Pulling Cortez back up, Maddix then sets him in the corner... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and lays into him with a chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" LANDON SEE, I CAN DO THAT KUNG-FU CRAP TOO TODD! HIIIIII-YAH... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" After the third chop, Landon jogs across the ring and into the furthest turnbuckle from his opponent. Megan applauds her man from the outside as he kicks back in the corner for a second, before running the width of the ring and soaring in, connecting on a big leaping forearm smash! Out of the corner staggers Todd as Landon runs the ropes. Cortez manages to throw a clothesline, but Maddix ducks underneath. Off the ropes he then swings himself around The Urban Legend's body, looking for a headscissors... BUT CORTEZ SITS OUT!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Landon bounces face-first off the mat and quickly rolls nearer the bottom rope, while Cortez starts to pull himself back up. "COR - TEZ!" "COR - TEZ!" "COR - TEZ!" "COR - TEZ!" COLE This mammoth crowd in the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum getting behind The Urban Legend here. First up however is Maddix, despite the counter move he just suffered. He quickly attacks Cortez from the back with forearms, beating him down and cutting off any fight he might have been about to summon. Maddix then pulls Cortez upright, firing off a hard kick to the chest. A second kick has Cortez rocking on his heels. Down he goes with a snapmare, before Landon reels back and lays in another soccer kick to the spine. Unlike the last one however, Cortez absorbs it and it just seems to piss him off, as he starts to come back to his feet growling under his breath. LANDON ...oh poop... Maddix clubs Cortez in the back... but still he fights up. A chop doesn't seem to effect him. Nor a second. So Maddix thinks on his feet and goes back to the eyes... or, attempts to at least, only for Cortez to get his hands up over his face and block the gouge! COLE Not this time! Cortez knew exactly what to expect from his former tag team partner by now. COACH Current partner! Current! Still determined to get at the eyes Landon forces forward, but Cortez boots him in the gut. Cortez then looks to hand out some receipts as he throws a kick to the chest! A second! And a third! Maddix ends up hung up over the top rope, a look of breathless fear on his face as he gets sent off the ropes with an irish whip and gets BAAAAACK bodydropped up towards the stars above!! Rolling to his knees, Landon tries to beg off again, all too willing to call the match a fair draw at this point. Cortez is having none of it though and grabs a hold of Landon's well groomed hair, before SLAMMING him face-first into the mat! COLE The two most precious things in Landon's life being messed up before our very eyes. Bouncing off the canvas, Landon falls out through the ropes and onto the ring apron. Megan tries to get over to pull him to safety, but Cortez grabs a hold of La Cucaracha first and runs him down the apron sending him face-first into the top turnbuckle. A thrust kick to the gut then sends Landon down to the arena floor. COLE Look out here... Landon lands safely on his feet, for now, as Cortez runs the ropes... ...but Landon quickly sidesteps any impending dive and waves his hands dismissively, unaware of the fact that Cortez has just faked him out and exited to the apron himself. COACH Turn around Landon! Perhaps hearing Coach's cry, or perhaps responding to the LA crowd pointing behind him and laughing, Maddix does turn around... AND GETS WIPED OUT WITH AN APRON RUN SHOOTING STAR LARIAT!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE OH MY! COACH What in the WORLD was that!? COLE A show of athleticism worthy of this or any other AngleMania. "COR - TEZ!" "COR - TEZ!" "COR - TEZ!" "COR - TEZ!" The 90,000 plus inside the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum explode as Cortez lands safely and leaves Landon laid out behind him. Cortez doesn't waste time crowing over his move though and quickly goes right back after Landon. Dumping him back inside, Cortez then heads back to the apron and then up to the top rope. Slowly picking himself up, Landon looks like he's been knocked for a loop as he staggers around the ring. Extending himself up top, Cortez takes a look down at Megan Skye who's bellowing at him from the arena floor, before soaring... but his moment taking his eye off the ball proves costly, as Landon catches him with a MID-AIR DROPKICK!! COACH Cover, cover! 1... 2... NO! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COACH Oh come on ref. If you got caught counting like that in the SWF, you'd be out on your ear. COLE A resourceful counter there from Landon, cutting off any moment Cortez was building, for the moment at least. Aiming to follow up quickly, Landon pulls Cortez back up and hooks the head, running for the corner and looking for the Seated Shiranui... ...NO! Cortez flips Landon over the back and to his feet. Spinning around, Cortez looks for a forearm, but Landon ducks and catches Todd for the Complete Shot. Elbows break Cortez free and he hurls Landon face-first into the top turnbuckle before running off the ropes. But Maddix shakes off the collision with the turnbuckle, ducking a clothesline and sweeping Cortez face-first to the canvas with the Complete Shot! COLE Great quickness out of La Cucaracha, turning the tide back in his favour again. Rolling Cortez over, Maddix hooks a deep leg... 1... 2... NO! ...so Landon quickly rolls Cortez back over onto his front and tries to lock in the Land Of Nod! COLE Looking for the submission, can Cortez fend this off!? COACH I dunno. I mean, if anyone's going to know an escape then I guess it'd be Todd Cortez, but here's hoping not. Unable to get the head hooked, control is lost by Landon and Cortez turns inwards. Cortez then pushes himself up and climbs to his feet, bringing Landon up with him in a fireman's carry. Cortez sets himself and throws Landon up like an FU, only for Landon to land on his feet and spin around... DUCK of an Enziguri! Holding his stomach, Landon pulls himself up... DUCKS a Roundhouse Kick and hits the Lungblower!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Cortez bounces off the knees hard and rolls over onto his front, allowing Landon to finally apply the LAND OF NOD!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH There we go! He's got it this time, ring the bell. COLE Cortez hasn't given up yet, not by a longshot Coach. COACH Well I wish he'd hurry up about it, we don't wanna be here all night. And besides, when Landon sends you to the Land Of Nod, the only way is out. Pass out or tapout, that is. As Landon sits back, pulling back on the head and neck to breaking point, the fans in Los Angeles try to route The Urban Legend into an escape. But Landon just shakes his head and tells them to stop wasting their breath. Shouting at Cortez to "just quit", Maddix continues to sap the energy out of Cortez, who seems to be fading away. Another rally goes up from the LA crowd though and Cortez starts to fight. Pushing up, he gets himself onto all fours, taking away most of Landon's leverage. Landon refuses to let go of the hold though and pulls back on the head a couple of times, tweaking at the neck. So, with no other alternative, Todd reaches up AND RAKES LANDON'S EYES!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COACH WHAT!? COLE Cortez to the eyes, much like Landon has done to him multiple times already tonight I must add. COACH You can't seriously condone that. COLE Hey, it's AngleMania VII, both these men are going to pull out all the stops whether it's legal or not. These fans don't seem to have a problem with it. Megan complains about the eyerake to referee Robinson, obviously having selective memory about her man's tactics so far. Landon meanwhile shakes it off and catches Cortez on his way back up with a kick to the sternum. Back into a corner staggers Cortez, caught and whipped by Landon. As he comes soaring with a forearm though, Cortez gets a boot up and Landon EATS it! COACH See, that's affected Landon's depth perception now! Away wobbles Landon, Cortez up to the middle rope and soaring with a crossbody... 1... 2... NO! Back up, Landon charges with forearm clenched, but runs right into a clothesline. A second clothesline knocks him down. And a third as The Urban Legend begins to rally! Reeling, Landon walks right into an STO takedown, Cortez right back to his feet to follow up with a Standing Moonsau... KNEES UP... BUT BLOCKED! Cortez avoids hitting the knees and quickly hooks Maddix up, launching him into the corner with a slingshot! COLE Cortez on the move... Bouncing out of the corner, around staggers Landon, right into the path of the HOLLOW PPOOOOOIIIIIIINNTT!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Maddix is launched right into the ring ropes, Cortez having to drag him away before going for the cover... 1... 2... KICKOUT! COLE Only a two count! Cortez looked to have the advantage with that Shooting Star Lariat earlier, but the distraction from Megan allowed Landon back in. Now Cortez has to stay focused if he wants to get the big win at last over Landon Maddix. Bringing Landon up to his feet Cortez fires off a kick to the chest. Then a kick to the back of the knee. Another to the chest. And another to the back of the knee. Cortez then takes a step back... LANDON STOP! ...instinctively Cortez does stop in mid-kick and it's the opening Landon needs, catching Cortez with a boot to the gut! The crowd jeer Landon's cheap tactic and jeer even more as he feels the need to point to his head to show everybody watching AngleMania VII worldwide how smart he is. Once he's sure he's got through all language barriers, Landon then looks to load Cortez up for an irish whip. Cortez spins out in front however, jarring Maddix with a quick inverted atomic drop... ...and another... ...and another... ...AND ANOTHER... LANDON STOP! "FIVE!" LANDON STOP! "SIX!" LANDON STOOOOOOOOOOP! "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" "NINE!" Cortez delays... COACH Oh, thank goodness he stoppe... ..."TEN!" "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Curling up into the foetal position on the mat Landon weeps in pain after the ten consecutive Crotch Droppahs. Grabbing hold of Landon by the hair, Cortez takes a quick glance over at Megan and almost cracks a smile upon seeing the horror on her face. COLE That must have felt like riding a bicycle in an earthquake for Maddix. Distinctly unpleasant. COACH An ass has never taken so much punishment outside of a prison. COLE And thank all of you watching AngleMania VII who may currently be serving time, especially Jonathan Coachman of Wichita, Kansas, cellphone number 0... Unfortunately for all you stalkers out there we go back to the action, as Cortez irish whips Landon into the corner. It takes Landon about an extra two seconds to hit the turnbuckles with the way he's running right now. And once there he slumps back, as Cortez runs in, steps off the middle rope and lands a kick to the side of the head! Landon is unable to stand any longer and sinks to the mat. Looking down at him, Cortez figures that's it and says as much to the crowd, who let out a loud cheer of approval. COLE We might be about to see Landon's 'proud unbeaten AngleMania record', of 1-0 mind you, come to an end. Cortez bends down to pick Maddix up, but La Cucaracha has wrapped his arms defensively around the bottom rope and refuses to let go! COACH Ah, maybe not yet we won't. Since Landon won't release the ropes, Cortez lays into him with stomps to try and force him to do so. Referee Robinson won't allow Cortez more than the 5 seconds in the corner though and gets in between the two to move Cortez back. COLE Landon desperate to avoid that sick-flip piledriver, as he rightly should be. He hasn't had much of a defence for it at the best of times, let alone now, after those ten atomic drops. Cortez gets impatient with both referee and Landon and eventually ends up brushing Robinson aside. As he grabs Landon though, the wily La Cucaracha, pulls out a double leg takedown and stacks Cortez's shoulders... 1... FEET ON THE ROPES BY LANDON! COLE REF, REF! 2... NO, ONLY TWO!! COLE Damnit, Maddix almost stole one! Landon quickly grabs a headlock, looking to keep Cortez quiet. To no avail as he gets shot off the ropes. Landon ducks underneath an elbow and hobbles back off the far ropes again, looking for a flying forearm. Cortez CATCHES him in his arms though. Throwing Landon out in front, Cortez then scoops Landon up and hits yet another inverted atomic drop! COACH WHY!? Maddix groans in pain, even more so when he takes a boot to the gut, Cortez quickly pulling him into a standing headscissors and... ...stopping, distracted by Megan Skye climbing to the apron! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The distraction pays dividends too, as Robinson misses a LOWBLOW from Landon, dropping Cortez in a heap. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE We said they'd do anything to win and Landon is plumbing the depths right about now. Still in perfect synchronicity, Megan jumps down from the apron just as Maddix cradles Cortez up into a pinning predicament, Robinson sliding into position... 1... 2... NO!! Despairing, Landon holds his head in his hands and argues the count with Robinson, for all the good it does him. "COR - TEZ!" "COR - TEZ!" "COR - TEZ!" "COR - TEZ!" Dragging Cortez back to his feet, Landon lands with a forearm. Cortez responds with a European uppercut though. Landon fires back with a forearm. So Cortez responds with another European uppercut. The two go toe to toe with their strikes of choice until finally Landon has had enough and drives Cortez into the ropes, sending him for the ride. Up goes Maddix for a 'rana, but Cortez baseball slides through the legs and shoves Maddix in the back. Off the ropes, Maddix ducks a clothesline, rebounding back into a kick... which he ducks as well! Still running, Landon then catches Todd around the head with his left arm, swinging himself around the back and bringing him down from the right side with an inverted bulldog! COLE Woah! Around the world in one fluid motion, never seen that from Landon before! Quickly Landon follows up as he pulls Cortez to his feet, taking him for a ride on the LANDON EYE! COLE And again the back of the head driven into the canvas, that could do it... Already gushing at finally obtaining the victory, Landon covers and counts along with the... 1... ...the... 2... ...and the... NOOOOOO!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Cortez will NOT stay down though! Maddix stomps back to his feet and after threatening to throw his toys out of the pram, he calms himself down, turning out into the vast LA crowd and signalling that it's time to Go To Sleep! COACH So what do you do when your kid won't stay down? You put them to sleep! COLE Todd Cortez isn't Landon's 'kid'. COACH Well, as good as. That'd be a good storyline though, don'tcha think? COLE ... Maddix picks Cortez up and squats down to lift him into the fireman's carry, which after so many atomic drops is painful in itself. But Landon grits it out and lifts... ...NO! Cortez slides down the back and FOLDS LANDON UP WITH A DRAGON SUPLEX!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" BRIDGE BY CORTEZ... 1... 2... KICKOUT BY LANDON!!! COLE Man, how close can you get!? Megan looks open-mouthed in amazement, as if even she can't believe her man kicked out that time. Sitting up, Cortez shakes his head and climbs slowly back up looking to finish Landon off. He pulls Landon to his knees, placing him in the standing headscissors... but AGAIN, Megan Skye climbs to the apron! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" However, this time, Cortez takes one look at her and shrugs his shoulders... ...BEFORE SPIKING LANDON ON HIS HEAD WITH THE RIOT ACT PLUS~!~!~!~! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE The scourge of La Cucaracha strikes again!! Todd Cortez has got him... BUT THERE'S NO REFEREE! To the fury of the Los Angeles crowd, Megan remains on the apron which serves to distract Charles Robinson from the pinfall behind him. Cortez glances up when he doesn't hear and count and seeing Megan on the apron, he leaves Landon be to confront her. Megan quickly makes sure the referee is in between her and her former boyfriend as he points the finger at her, telling her in no uncertain terms to get off the apron. After a few choice words, Cortez then turns around... ...RIGHT INTO NATHANIEL BLACK AND A LARIA... ...NO! CORTEZ DUCKS AND SPIKES BLACK WITH THE RIOT ACT PLUS!~!~!~!~! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE RAP from Cortez...BUT HERE COMES JAMES BLONDE NOW! Wielding one of the 6-Man Tag Team Title belts, Blonde takes a swing for The Urban Legend's head as he slides into the ring. Cortez seems to have eyes in the back of his head at this point though, ducking the ::BELTSHOT:: attempt and booting Blonde in the gut, pulling him in... ...AND DRILLING HIM INTO THE CANVAS WITH THE RIOT ACT PLUS~!~!~!~!~! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE There goes Plan C... or Plan D, I've lost count by now! COACH Don't worry. As the song goes, 'E' is the magic number. Right on cue, the camera cuts to FAQU marches down the looong aisleway screaming away in Samoan. His less than stealth entrance fares no better than Black and Blonde's sneak attacks though as Cortez spots him in the aisle and quickly hits the ropes, soaring over the top AND WIPING FAQU OUT WITH A SOMERSAULT PLANCHA AT RINGSIDE!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Cortez is fighting off the entire ranks of Cucaracha Internacional right now! Still Maddix is out in the ring as Cortez pops back up, grabbing Faqu and running him into the guardrail. Backing up a couple of steps, he then clubs Faqu in the chest with a clothesline, sending him spilling up and over into the front row of the Los Angeles crowd where he's not so much of a problem. Cortez then heads back into the ring where Charles Robinson is busy looking dumb wondering why Nathaniel Black and James Blonde are KTFO around him. COLE Cortez calling for one more it looks like. COACH There are no more... except Megan... or Cortez. Riot Act Plus himself? I'd like to see that. COLE I think he means Landon, Coach. Landon remains out and is dragged lifelessly onto his front by Todd Cortez. The Urban Legend looks out at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum one more time, as if to check if they really want to see another Riot Act. And it seems they do. Grabbing the hair, Cortez pulls Maddix up... but takes a shot to the gut! Maddix then stands back up and swings with a suspiciously shiny right hand... which Cortez ducks, grabbing Maddix around the throat for the Urban Assault... COLE Wait a minute... With Megan still keeping part of Robinson's attention, Cortez lifts Landon up... BUT LANDON LAYS CORTEZ OUT WITH A LEFT HAND IN MID-AIR! The crowd jeer, as Maddix can clearly be seen tucking a FOREIGN OBJECT into his shorts out of the sight of the referee! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE ...wait a damn minute! Maddix had something in that fist! COACH Nooo... COLE Maddix had that fist loaded. This is a crock! None the wiser, Robinson casually tells Maddix to open up the fist and the Spaniard obliges now that there's nothing in his hand. Landon then quickly drags the lifeless body of Todd Cortez back off the canvas, stooping low and picking him up into the fireman's carry. Cortez is already out of it and has no defence... ...FOR THE G2S!!!! COACH GO TO SLEEP! COLE Not like this, no! Maddix, still smarting his neck from the RAP, dusts his hands and hooks a leg... 1... 2... 3!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE DAMNIT! *DINGDINGDING!* Megan leaps and punches the air as the three comes down, provoking a sea of disapproval from the LA crowd. Pushing himself off of Cortez, Landon smiles a very relieved smile and sneaks out of the ring, hiding his concealed weapon under the ring before Charles Robinson can suspect anything. BUFFER Your winner of this contest... LANDON... "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIXXXXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Robinson raises Landon's hand on the outside just as he's pounced on by Megan, hugging her man tightly. Megan then takes over raising Landon's arm, to another round of boos. In the ring, Cortez is still out. So is James Blonde, dragged lifelessly from the ring by Faqu who tries in his own primitive way to wake his tag partner up. Nathaniel Black joins the party holding his neck as well, the ranks of Cucaracha Internacional heading off licking their wounds but with the result they wanted. COLE What a travesty of justice to go down, especially here at AngleMania VII. Landon Maddix clearly had some sort of foreign object in his right hand and whatever it was put Todd Cortez out, even before the Go To Sleep. We've got to see a replay of that to clear it up. COACH We don't have to see anything. That right there is the only shot that matters. Landon Maddix, hand raised in victory... COLE This is what happened, watch the left hand closely. ---ANGLEMANIA VII REPLAY--- ~~~~~ The replay shows Maddix missing with the right hand and also the STEEL CHAIN inside that right hand. Cortez catches Landon in a goozle and sets him up, looking for the Urban Assault. A brief distraction by Megan on the outside takes Robinson's attention out of the corner of his eye, while Cortez grabs the waistband of the shorts and hoists Landon up. But on the way up, Maddix expertly shifts the chain from right hand to left... and pops Cortez right in the temple! The Urban Legend crumbles and Maddix avoids certain defeat. ~~~~~ ---ANGLEMANIA VII REPLAY--- COLE There it was, a chain inside of the fist to knock Cortez out. Maddix stole the match, just like he stole it back in February! Halfway down the aisle by now, Landon has woken up a little more from the Riot Act Plus and grins away as he's congratulating by his Cucaracha Internacional team-mates. Sure, Blonde is only half-conscious himself, but he congratulates him all the same. Landon quickly calls the troops together and the five raise each other's arms in the air, Black nursing his neck, Megan and Landon in the middle beaming with pride, Blonde being held up by the wrist like a puppet and Faqu... well, just Faqu. But, all victorious. COACH You know what they say Cole, possession is nine tenths of the law. COLE Maybe in your circles they do. COACH What the hell's that supposed to mean!? COLE I... uh... that came out wrong. COACH Listen, the fact is, whether you say it's stolen or not, it's Landon Maddix's! He's still undefeated at AngleMania! And you know what else is his possession? Todd Cortez! He got his match, he had his chance and he blew it again. Now he's gotta go back to Cucaracha Internacional and he'd better fall in line, because he's officially bottom of the food chain as of now. Sitting up in the ring, Cortez looks up at his stable 'mates' and glares, rubbing his jaw and knowing that he got screwed tonight. The 90 odd thousand in attendance applaud him all the same. But that's small consolation to Cortez as he pulls himself up on the ropes and watches Landon and co. celebrate way down the ramp. COLE I'm being told that MISTER WARRIOR is backstage to be interviewed by Terry Taylor. Terry are you with us? Cut to Terry who faced down with a drooling, snarling, roid freak in a pink trenchcoat is sort of missing being the straight man for Krista's gags. But he manages to maintain some of his compsure and interview WARRIOR at the Interview Stage. TAYLOR MISTER WARRIOR, in a few moments time you'll be fac... WARRIOR There is no time! There is no time! Time is no time! Time is a sickness of mortal man and the abnormals are incubated on the mothership until we have the antibiotic. Vinny Valentine can you not communicate with the husband of the earth mother, father time? No! Because you have dialed into the corpse of the forgotten relic of an ancient civilization called humanity. Father time sold me the folly of his lies! And I have paid him the memories of his doom! In the snow capped mountains of my darkest cerebral cortex father time sung to me in a dream. And his chorus were the black vultures, the dead crows, and the souless hand maidens of empires long dead! Ad he sung that this was the end of WARRIOR! Vinny Valentine is the key master of my fate! And I said no! I said no! I said no! And I reached into the deep jungle of dreams where no man has ever come back from with his sanity and my fist looked father time in the eyes and my fury burned with the souls of a million unborn abnormals and I said SPEAK TO ME SUPERMANIAAAACS! But they spoke not to my earthly ears! They drove the poison of the aldostorne into his heart, and he crumbled, and he crumbled, and he crumbled, because there is no end to WARRIOR! Not as long as the earth springs abnormals and the mothership protects its emissary of combat ! Your father time is dead, Valentine, your suffering is forever! And damnit if that whiteboy WARRIOR doesn't just up and disappear in pink smoke like a trill life g should.

...cleansing ourself of alf's blasphemey against the GOTE Ayo first off b...i was in school all day now and i been thinkin about kobe (no homo) its aint this nigga birthday but me being a real young stunna, I gotta be poppin bottles for kobe today b. cuz we two of the same, just like him i got stans jockin me in everything i do. just the waviest dude on this ish. me an kobe we hustlin out here! he's the mvp of the nba, i'm the mvp of life. i mean tru story..imma ask my my manz gino to copp me sum henny and we goin drink to mamba respect to the GOTE. one of the most thoro dudes uptop.

We're shown an overhead shot of the raucous arena courtesy of the MetLife Blimp (just uh pretend there are ppl there! and no usc stuff!) COLE Folks, we've seen new tag team champions, and we've seen new six man champions. Will Alfdogg have challenger luck here tonight? The crowd goes NUTS upon seeing the graphic. COLE And we are just moments away from one of the biggest matches of this year's AngleMania! Alfdogg, looking for his fourth Heartland title, challenges Sandman9000, the reigning champion! This is going to be an epic battle! Let's go to Michael Buffer! *DING DING DING* (slow and dramatic) BUFFER LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen...it is now time, for one of the main attractions of the evening. Tonight, two of the roughest, toughest superstars in the history of our sport, will do battle in a no-holds-barred environment, for the OAOAST Heartland championship! ARE YOU READY? *crowd cheers* BUFFER Los Angeles, California...ARRRRRRRRRRRE YOUUUUUUUUU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADYYYYYYYYY????? *crowd cheers louder* BUFFER Then for the hundreds of thousands in attendance here in Los Angeles, and the BILLIONS watching around the world...there's only one thing left to say. Ladies and gentlemen...LLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRRRRRREADY TO RRRRRRUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! A pause takes place to let the crowd get the cheers out, then the boos start as the lights go out and Magnum Opus plays. After the drum intro, the lights kick back on, and Alfdogg makes his way through the curtains, in a custom-made teal hoodie. (for argument's sake, let's pretend this is a teal hoodie. And that the letters on the back are white.) COLE And here comes Alfdogg, not trying to make any friends among the hundred-thousands here at the Coliseum, as usual! COACH I get the feeling Alf's not a big fan of the teams here in the City of Angels! Alf climbs into the ring, and poses on the buckles, to boos. He then removes the hoodie, folds it up nicely, and hands it to the timekeeper. He is wearing his red Foley flannel with a white sleeveless underneath. COLE And Alf looks ready for battle, Coach! He looks ready to become a four-time Heartland champion, but it will be easier said than done! Suddenly, the lights dim, then begin going crazy, as if a virus has infected them, randomly jerking around the arena, frantically changing colors and turning off and on. It’s as if a bad anime scene has come to life. Loud scratching fills the airwave, as if a DJ has lost their mind and is attempting to break their equipment. In-between the rips, legitimate music kicks on, of a Southern, heavy metal nature. I ask you please just give us/ Five Minutes Alone.” The lights continue to dart and flash as the music leaves and the scratching continues, only to come back again, now of a hip-hop nature. White America/ I could be one of your kids.” The rap fades out and the scratching continues, at an even greater pace, until music comes back, now of a hardcore variety. Final Prayer/ Final prayer for the human race.” The music leaves once again and the scratches reach their apex, before the sound cuts out and the arena goes pitch black. A single spotlight appears on the stage, the only light in the darkened arena. People look towards the light, but see nothing. Then People = Shit by Slipknot hits. HERE WE GO AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER! The crowd goes insane as a figure punches through the curtains, wearing torn black jeans, a sleeveless black t-shirt, and two bandanas, one over his face and the other over his head. His hands are taped up, with a red "X" on the back of each of them. COLE It was six months ago today that this man made his return to the OAOAST, and captured the Heartland title! And the fans in L.A. going crazy for Sandman9000! Sandman walks slowly to the ring, then rolls inside, rips the bandanas off, then hands his belt to the referee and stands in a corner across from Alf. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen...the following contest is for the OAOAST Heartland championship! In this contest, there are no disqualifications, no countouts, anything goes. There is no time limit. Introducing first, to my left...weighing in at 238 1/2 pounds...this man is a bonafide legend in the World of professional wrestling, and tonight he looks for his record fourth Heartland championship! Ladies and gentlemen, the challenger...a former two-time OAOAST champion of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD...ALFDOGG!!!!! *crowd boos* BUFFER And ladies and gentlemen, his opponent, to my right. He hails from South of Heaven, and weighs in at an even 220 pounds! Maybe the most sadistic man ever to set foot in a pro wrestling ring, this man is a former World tag team champion, and has held his title for six months running! Ladies and gentlemen...introducing, the REIGNING and DEFENDING OAOAST Heartland champion...SAAAAAAAAAANDMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN NNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNE THHHHHHHOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSANNNNNNNNNNNNND!!!!! *crowd cheers* COLE And we are about ready to go! Both men gather in mid-ring with the referee, who raises the belt in the air, then calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* The crowd roars in anticipation after hearing the bell. Alf and Sandman face off in mid-ring, talking trash while being showered by flashbulbs. COACH I've got goosebumps, Cole! This is gonna be great! Alf strikes first, drilling Sandman with a right hand! Sandman returns fire, and the two engage in a slugfest! The two tie up, and move over to the ropes, falling through to the floor, and continuing their trading of fists! COLE And we're taking it to the floor already in this one! They continue to trade blows, then Alf grabs a side headlock. Sandman struggles for a split second, then shoves Alf off into the ringpost! COLE Alf shoved hard into the steel! Sandman picks up Alf, and sets up a vertical suplex! Alf blocks, then blocks a second time, before lifting Sandman up himself and dropping him crotch-first over the guardrail! Alf backs up, then clotheslines Sandman, sending him the rest of the way into the crowd! COACH Dangerous territory here! COLE No question, Alf and Sandman now having to fight through the sea of fans... COACH I mean for the fans, it's dangerous! There's no telling what these two will do! Alf rams Sandman's face into a railing deep in the crowd, then scoops him up and slams him on the concrete! Alf grabs a drink from a vendor, takes a swig, then tosses the remains onto Sandman! But this only seems to wake him up, as Sandman fights back with right hands! COLE And the champ fighting back now! The two fight deeper into the crowd, as Alf creates enough space to deliver a foot to the gut, then set up a piledriver! COLE And Alf looking to piledrive Sandman out in the stands! However, Sandman blocks, and backdrops Alf instead! COLE But no, it's Alf who tastes the arena floor this time! Alf tries to roll to safety, as Sandman gives chase, getting a few stomps in. He tosses Alf back over the guardrail, then stands atop it, and drives a forearm into Alf's back. COLE The champion, Sandman9000, with the advantage as we're back in the ring area! Sandman sets up an Irish whip, but Alf counters, sending Sandman into the steel steps! COACH And Sandman dislodging those steel steps, as he hit them shoulder-first! This is a big break for Alf! Alf climbs onto the apron, then climbs to the top rope, and waits for Sandman to get to his feet, before hitting him with a MOONSAULT~! COLE Alf FLYING through the air! Alf lays on the floor for a few seconds, then goes over to grab the steel steps. COACH And now Alf with those steps... Alf raises the steps in the air, but Sandman hits him with a dropkick, and Alf falls back to the floor, with the steps coming right down on his face! COACH Oh no! COLE A dropkick by Sandman, and those steel steps rammed Alf right in the face! Sandman starts firing off right hands, but Alf grabs him by the pants, and pulls him into the ringpost! COLE Nice move by Alf there to by himself some time! Alf shoves Sandman into the ring, then slowly rolls in. Alf stomps away, then picks him up and whips him across the ring. However, he puts his head down, and Sandman catches him with a swinging neckbreaker! COLE Nice neckbreaker by Sandman, Alf getting caught with his head down! Sandman covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Sandman then climbs to the second rope, and comes down with a big knee to the sternum! Sandman rolls to his feet, then drags Alf over to the ropes by his leg. He drapes Alf's leg across the bottom rope, then jumps into the air and comes down on top of it! COLE And now Sandman working over the knee of Alf! Sandman grabs Alf's leg, then stands on his midsection, and jumps over, bending Alf's leg back to his head! COACH This is very smart strategy by Sandman, take out an extremity! Sandman lifts Alf's leg up and delivers a couple kicks, then stands on his other foot, and falls back to the mat with the leg! The crowd cheers on Sandman, as he grabs Alf's leg once again, raising it straight up in the air as he stands at Alf's head, and yanks down on it! He does it once more, then drops an elbow on the leg, then hooks it between his own leg in a leglock! COLE And Sandman further wearing down that leg! Sandman releases the leg hold, then drags Alf to the ropes again, and jumps into the air...but this time, Alf is able to pull his leg out of the way! COLE Nobody home on that one! Alf quickly waistlocks Sandman, and executes a German suplex! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Alf with a suplex, but couldn't get the full impact on that one, because he's unable to put much weight on that knee right now! Both men lay on the mat, then Alf pulls himself to his feet with the ropes. Sandman gets to his feet, and kicks his leg out from behind! COACH He just kicked his leg out of his leg! COLE That one never gets old. Sandman trips up Alf, and drags him to the ringpost. The crowd buzzes. COACH Uh-oh... COLE And Sandman maybe looking to take a page out of Alf's playbook! However, Alf is able to struggle long enough to avoid the move. Sandman tries it again, but Alf pulls him into the post with his legs! COLE But no, a nice counter move by Alf! Sandman shakes off the cobwebs, then goes under the ring and grabs a BARBED-WIRE CHAIR! COACH Oh, no! COLE And the heavy artillery is coming out now! Sandman rolls into the ring with the chair, as Alf pulls himself to his feet. Sandman raises the chair high overhead, but Alf delivers a kick to the midsection! Alf then delivers a big CHOP~! which knocks Sandman right to the mat! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Alf then grabs the chair, and limps over to Sandman, delivering a big shot to the back! COLE Alf strikes first with the chair! Alf then lifts it overhead once again, and brings it down! Alf raises the chair up, drawing boos. He then delivers a snap legdrop, which hurts him about as much as Sandman! COLE And Alf just may have hurt himself further with that move. Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Alf picks up Sandman, and whips him hard across, with Sandman crashing sternum-first into the corner! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Alf whips Sandman across once again, and charges...but Sandman gets a foot up! Alf staggers back, and Sandman charges in with a clothesline! Sandman then scales the ropes... COLE And Sandman going upstairs! Sandman waits for Alf to get to his feet, and jumps... ...but Alf catches him by the legs, causing Sandman to fall to his back, and applies the SHARPSHOOTER~!!!!!11111 COLE Alf with the Sharpshooter! COACH I can't believe it! Sandman puts his hand over his head, as he struggles towards the ropes. COLE Could Alf do the unthinkable here, and make Sandman submit? Sandman claws his way towards the ropes, and finally makes them. Alf reluctantly breaks, then tosses Sandman into a corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And a third! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! COACH And Alf taking his time, giving that leg time to recuperate! You notice he's still got a slight limp out there, but it's coming along! Alf sets Sandman up on the top rope, then follows him up. COLE Well, this will be a good test for it! Alf steps to the top rope, hooks Sandman, and executes a SUPERPLEX~! COLE Big-time superplex from Alf! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE But Sandman able to kick out! Alf rolls to the outside, and reaches under the ring, pulling out a large gray tub full of assorted weapons. He grabs a piece of wax paper with thumbtacks glued to it, as well as a STAPLE GUN! COACH Is that a staple gun, Cole? COLE I think it is. Alf turns Sandman over onto his stomach, then lays the paper on his back, tacks facing down. He then checks out the staple gun, and STAPLES the paper into Sandman's back! COACH YEOWCH! The crowd groans, as Alf staples all four corners, then groans louder as he raises the barbed-wire chair in the air! COLE Oh my God... Alf brings the chair down onto Sandman's back, driving the tacks into his skin! COACH/COLE Alf then does it a second time, then turns him over and covers... COACH That's got to do it. 1... 2... NO! Sandman gets a shoulder up! COLE But Sandman continues to fight! Alf picks up Sandman, and sets up a suplex, but Sandman blocks. He blocks a second time, then lifts Alf, suplexing him onto the chair! COLE And now it's Alf who gets some of the barbed wire! Sandman quickly pulls the sheet off his back, wincing in pain as he removes it. He then wraps the paper around his forearm, tacks out, and drives it into the forehead of Alf, cutting him open! COACH OW! COLE And Alf has been cut open by those tacks, which Sandman drove into his flesh with his forearm! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Sandman fires off right hands on Alf, as Alf uses Sandman's shirt to try to pull himself up. Sandman then delivers kicks, sending Alf to the outside. Alf once again retreats into the crowd, and Sandman gives chase. COACH Here we go again! Alf makes his way into the concession area this time, where Sandman catches up to him. Sandman gets in a few right hands, but Alf shoves a nearby slushy vendor into him, then makes a break for it. Sandman hunts for him, when a fan points out that he went into the restroom. Sandman walks in, and is met with a mop handle to the head! COLE And it appears that Sandman found Alf! Or, rather, Alf found him! Alf stomps away, then grabs a mop bucket, and dumps the contents onto Sandman! COLE Who knows what was in that mop bucket! COACH Hey, isn't that the one you peed in last night after all those Zima's? COLE ... Alf and Sandman trade right hands, as they make their way back to the ring area. Sandman takes advantage on the way back, and tosses Alf back inside, then goes under the ring, and comes up with a BARBED WIRE BOARD~! COLE And it just gets worse. COACH Or better, depending on your view! Sandman slides the board into the ring, then sets up the ARCHANGEL'S WINGS~!!!!!11111 COACH Oh, not on the board! However, Alf blocks, and backdrops Sandman onto the board! Alf then sets up a powerbomb. COLE And now Alf attempting to put Sandman into the board again! However, Sandman blocks, and counters into a slingshot...with Alf smashing the referee in the corner! COLE And the referee takes a shot! Sandman then hooks Alf, and drives him with the ARCHANGEL'S WINGS~!!!!!11111 COLE And Sandman got it! Cover... COACH Where's the referee? COLE Here he comes! 1... 2... NO!!! Alf gets a shoulder up! COLE But Alf escapes! COACH This match is unbelieveable, Cole! Sandman grabs the thumbtack sheet and wraps it around his forearm again, raking it across Alf's face as Alf screams in pain. COLE And Sandman opening up that wound some more! Alf rolls to the outside, where Sandman follows and rams him into the timekeeper's table! However, when Sandman goes to pick him up, he gets whacked in the face with the ring bell! COLE And Sandman just had his bell rung right there! COACH And it looks like Sandman's cut now! Alf stomps away at Sandman, and rams his face into the steel steps, then tosses him back inside. He grabs the barbed wire chair, and brings it down onto Sandman's head! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE But Sandman keeps hanging in there! Alf rolls to the outside, and goes under the ring...coming out with a WEEDWHACKER~! COLE Oh my God. COACH Is that what I think it is, Cole? COLE I think so. Alf slides under the bottom rope, then pulls the string, and holds it up in the air with one hand. The crowd buzzes, as he approaches Sandman! COLE Don't do it, Alf! Alf brings it down, as Sandman holds it away from his face! Sandman then gets in a kick to Alf's groin, and an EDGECRUSHER DDT~! COLE Big move from Sandman! Sandman then points at the weedwhacker, as the crowd cheers. COLE Come on, Sandman, leave it be! Sandman picks it up, and pulls the string a couple times, but it fails to work. The crowd boos, as Sandman drops it outside the ring. Sandman then turns around, right into an Alf superkick! COLE And Alf with a great kick! Alf then climbs to the top rope. COACH Uh-oh, this is it, Cole! Alf gets his balance...and hits the FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH~!!!!!11111 1... 2... ... NO!!! Sandman gets the shoulder up! COACH What??? COLE He kicked out! I can't believe it! Alf can't believe it either, as he confronts the referee. Sandman pulls his way to his feet in the corner, as Alf charges, but Sandman moves out of the way! Sandman delivers forearms to the face, then whips Alf across and catches him with a flying forearm! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Alf gets the shoulder up! Sandman then backs into the ropes, and drills him with the YAKUZA KICK~! He then sits Alf down in the corner, and props the barbed-wire board up over him. COLE Could be Van-Terminator time! Sandman climbs the top rope on the other side, gets his balance, and delivers the VAN TERMINATOR~!, driving the barbed-wire board into Alf's face! COACH Oh, no! COLE This looks like the beginning of the end for Alf! Sandman pulls Alf out of the wreckage, then scoops him up, and executes the PSYCHO DRIVAH~!!!!!11111 Cover... 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COLE And Sandman has retained his title again! What an incredible match! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match...and STILL OAOAST Heartland champion...AAAAAAAAAANDMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN NNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNE THHHHHHHOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSANNNNNNNNNNNNND!!!!! COACH Gonna be hard to top this one, Cole! COLE Two of the fiercest competitors in the history of this sport! They spilled their blood all over the L.A. Coliseum, and in the end, it's Sandman9000 once again coming out on top, he is STILL the OAOAST Heartland champion! Sandman finally stirs on the mat, as the referee hands him his belt. He tries to help him up, but Sandman shoves him aside. COLE And there you see the kind of spirit these guys have. Sandman wants to get up and walk out of here on his own power! Sandman falls through the ropes, and walks to the back, his belt draped over his shoulder. COLE Well, folks, believe it or not, we've still got more to come! But this performance will be hard to top for the other competitors! Right now, let's go to...

Go to OAOASTShop.com to buy the latest in OAOAST merchandise! Toys! Belts! T-shirts! Foam hands! Bandanas! Chains! Wrist bands! And anything else your heart desires! You can find what the OAOAST superstars wear at only one place, OAOASTShop.com! AOL keyword: OAOASTShop! NOW AVAILABLE ON OAOASTShop Party's Over The fall of The Global Party Exchange They were risk takers. They were loud mouths. They were superstars. Artists beloved by fans, envied by peers, respected by experts, The Global Party Exchange were on their way to becoming the next great tag team But four years after their debut they've gone from top five to not mentioned at all. How does one account for the dramatic fall of two of the brightest stars in the OAOAST? Draw your own conclusions on this two DVD expose. With interviews by: Matches include Bruce Blank & Landon Maddix Vs The Global Party Exchange First ever Anderson Cup Finals: Black T Vs GPX Tag Title Ironman Match: The Usual Suspects Vs GPX The Original Elite Vs GPX Chicks Over Dicks Vs GPX King of Deathmatch tourney: Jingus Vs Scotty Static PRL Vs Johnny Jax Zack Malibu, Bruce Blank & Bloodshed Vs The GPX & Jamie O'Hara Never before seen on TV: GPX Vs The Fanboys Vs The South Central Militia Never before seen on TV: Scotty Static Vs AJ Flaire Never before seen on TV: Johnny Jax Vs Phenom FADE OUT COLE And now, the World tag team titles on the line! Can Team Heyross win their first title? We're about to find out! Let's go to Michael Buffer! *DING DING DING* (slow and dramatic) BUFFER LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen...it is now time for our tag team attraction of the evening! In just a few moments, the World Tag Team titles will be on the line, with the winners of the Anderson Cup looking to reach the top of the mountain for the first time! ARE YOU READY? *crowd cheers* BUFFER Los Angeles, California...ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE YYYYYYYYYOUUU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYY????? *crowd cheers louder* BUFFER Then for the hundreds of thousands in attendance here in Los Angeles, and the billions watching all around the world...there's only one thing left to say. Ladies and gentlemen...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADY TO RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUMMMMMMMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! Shine by Collective Soul hits and the crowd goes crazy for Team Heyross as they come through the curtains. COLE And here come the challengers, for the biggest match of their careers! COACH And it's gonna be the biggest loss of their career, Cole! You don't understand, the Rockers live for this kind of stage! Benjamin does his pose on the buckles, then hops in the ring. HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT! As Heart-Shaped Box plays, The Heavenly Rockers walk through the curtains, accompanied by Holly-Wood and Colonel Abdullah Nerdly. The Rockers walk slowly and confidently down the aisle, then climb onto the apron and pose...before Team Heyross pulls them both into the ring over the top rope! *DING DING DING* COLE HERE WE GO! COACH Look at this! They haven't even done the introductions yet! Benjamin hammers away on Logan in one corner, while Moss and Synth hammer away on the other. Team Heyross sets the champs up, and whips them into each other in mid-ring! COLE And the challengers wasting no time taking the advantage in this match! Benjamin grabs the staggering Logan, and executes a BELLY-TO-BELLY! The crowd is going CRAZY! COLE Great suplex by Benjamin, and this crowd is really into this one! The champs bail, and the challengers follow. Logan catches Benjamin as he comes out, hammering him with forearm blows, then shoving him back-first into the apron! Logan does it once more, as Synth has Moss back in the ring. He sets him up on the top rope, and tries to follow him up, but Moss hammers away with right hands. Synth staggers back, as Moss turns himself around on the top rope. Synth comes in once again, and Moss rolls backwards over the back of Synth and lands in the ring, then rams Synth's head into the buckle! 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! 9!!! 10!!! Moss then sets Synth on the top rope. COLE And now it's Moss going for something here... Moss climbs up to the second rope, hooks Synth around the waist...and takes him off with a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COLE And a BIG belly-to-belly by Charlie Moss! Team Heyross is on fire! Moss yells out to the crowd, which roars its approval. Moss covers... 1... 2... But ogan rolls in and drops an elbow to the back of his head! COACH I don't think we're going to see much of a scientific encounter here! This is a fight! Benjamin knocks Logan out of the ring, then the referee forces him to the outside. COLE And finally, it looks like the referee's going to restore a little order here! Meanwhile, Synth has taken over on Moss, flooring him with a back suplex! He hammers away with forearms to the back, knocking him towards the ropes. Irish whip, but Moss ducks a clothesline, then blind tags Benjamin. Synth puts his head down, and Moss grabs him by the hair and yanks him backwards to the mat! Moss follows up with a back suplex! Logan attempts to jump in the ring, but is quickly intercepted by Benjamin, who then ducks down and waits for Synth to get to his feet, as the crowd starts to buzz. COACH Could be the Double Goozle coming here! Synth gets to his feet, and Moss backs into the ropes, then comes back with a clothesline as Benjamin sweeps the leg! COLE DOUBLE GOOZLE~! Benjamin covers, but the referee is putting Moss out of the ring, and as he is, Logan slides in with the chair and slams it across Benjamin's back! The crowd boos loudly. COLE And Logan in the ring with a chair, give me a break! The referee comes around, as Synth rolls over and covers Benjamin... 1... 2... But Benjamin gets a foot on the rope! COLE But Benjamin luckily able to reach the ropes! Synth complains to the referee, then picks up Benjamin and lifts him in a vertical suplex, holding him, then dropping to the mat! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Pantera delivers right hands to Benjamin on the ropes, then whips him across and catches him with a powerslam! Pantera does the safe signal with his arms, then covers... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Another escape! Synth tosses Benjamin to the outside, then walks towards Moss as the referee tries to keep him back. This allows Logan to jump down, and drill Benjamin with a LEFT HOOK~! on the floor! COACH YES~! COLE And Logan with a cheap shot, that left hand on the floor behind the referee's back! Logan climbs back on the apron, as Synth hops out and tosses Benjamin back inside, then tags in Logan. Logan picks up Benjamin, and delivers a twisting neckbreaker! Logan kneels for a second, then drives knees into Benjamin's back. He then picks up Benjamin once again, and delivers a gutwrench suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! COLE And Quentin Benjamin not quitting, he's hangin' in there! He wants to become a tag team champion for the first time! Logan tags Synth back in, and Synth applies a camel clutch! COACH Synth may make him quit right here, though! Synth clamps down on the hold, and Benjamin fades. The referee lifts the arm... ONE!!! TWO!!! Benjamin holds through on the third lift! Benjamin gathers up strength, and raises to his feet, causing Synth to change to a chinlock, and delivers an elbow! Then a second! A third! COLE Synth still holding on loosely! COACH And not letting go! He better squeeze tightly, or he'll lose control! COLE Benjamin hooks an arm and ducks under and behind Synth, then hooks the other arm, and delivers a TIGER SUPLEX~! COLE What a suplex! Synth folded up like an accordion! COACH And Quentin had better make a tag here! Benjamin scoots over towards his corner, but Logan hops in and dives at Benjamin with a double axhandle! Moss hops into the ring and hammers Logan, then delivers a kneelift, knocking him into the ropes. Moss charges at Logan, but Logan ducks and backdrops Moss to the floor! COLE And Charlie Moss to the outside now! As the referee attempts to usher Moss back to the corner, Synth picks up Benjamin, and Logan joins in the PERCUSSION DDT~!!!!!11111 COACH Yeah baby! That's it, if the referee gets back! The referee slides in, and tries to put Logan out, allowing Moss to grab the chair and slide back in. COACH Turn around, ref!!! Moss smacks Synth across the back with the chair! Moss then gets out of the ring, as Synth and Benjamin are both out of it! Benjamin starts to stir, and starts to crawl towards Moss! Synth finally comes to, and makes a tag to Logan, who stops Benjamin JUST as he's about to make the tag! COACH How about that, Cole? Synth suffered a shot with a steel chair, and was still able to tag out in time for Logan to stop a tag on the other side! COLE The champs are tough, there's no question about it, and meanwhile Quentin Benjamin still not able to make a tag, you have to wonder how much longer he can hang on! Logan whips Benjamin into the corner, but Benjamin comes out and catches Logan with a SUPERKICK~! COLE But no! Benjamin STILL with fight left! Synth jumps in, and gets hit with a double leg clothesline! Benjamin crawls over and TAGS MOSS! COLE And FINALLY a tag made! Moss hammers away on both men, then grabs their heads and rams them together! Synth falls to the outside, as Moss delivers an STO BACKBREAKER~! to Logan! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Logan gets the shoulder up! Moss gets up, then runs across and knocks Synth to the floor with a baseball slide! Moss then follows him and hammers away, as Benjamin pulls himself to his feet on the apron. Logan gets up and follows to the outside, as the champs double team Moss. Benjamin backs into the ropes... COACH Look at Quentin! Benjamin floors everyone with a CORKSCREW PLANCHA~! COLE And Benjamin flies! All four men are out on the floor, as the crowd cheers in appreciation. Logan and Moss get up, and Moss follows Logan into the ring. As Synth hammers Benjamin on the floor, Logan catches Moss with a LEFT HOOK~! COLE Left hook out of nowhere from Logan! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Moss gets a shoulder up! Logan hooks Moss in a side headlock, but Moss shoves him off...right into the referee! COLE And the referee took a shot, as Logan shoved right into him by Charlie Moss! Synth slides a chair in to Logan, who slams it on the mat, and waits for Moss to get to his feet. Meanwhile, Benjamin shoves Synth into the ringpost on the floor, and scales the top rope, as Moss gets to his feet...and hits a MISSILE DROPKICK, knocking the chair right into Logan! COACH Oh no! COLE And the chair right back into the face of Logan! Benjamin goes to the outside, as Moss gets to his feet...and lifts Logan onto his shoulders! The crowd is going NUTS! COLE They're setting him up for the big finish! COACH Where are you, Synth? Benjamin goes to the top as Moss gets Logan positioned...and hits the SUPER ROCKER DROPPER~!!!!!11111 COLE They hit it! Is this it? Benjamin covers, as the referee comes to... 1... 2... ... 3!!! COLE YES! Team Heyross has done it! Moss leaps in the air in rhythm with the crowd's explosion, as Benjamin rises to his knees and raises his fists in the air, then covers his face with them. BUFFER The winners of the match...and NEWWWWWWWWWW OAOAST tag team champions of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRLD...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! COLE After three long years, Team Heyross, FINALLY, has become the World tag team champions! The referee hands them the belts, and they stare longingly into them, then raise them in the air, as the crowd continues their applause. They stand on the buckles, and raise them in their right hands. They switch buckles, as Benjamin spots two figures in the aisles. COACH Who is this? Moss hops off the buckles, and stands on the far side of the ring, staring down the aisle, as well, as the camera focuses on Thunderkid and Reject standing halfway down! COLE Look at this! COACH Thunderkid and Reject, out to get a closer look! TK and Reject look on for a few seconds, then TK claps his hands, and Reject gives them two thumbs up, as Benjamin shows them his belt. TK and Reject then depart back down the aisle. COLE And a congratulations from Thunderkid and Reject to the new champions, perhaps a challenger down the road, Coach! COACH Well, that would be a terrific match, Cole, I can't wait to see what's in store for the new champions! COLE Tonight, they're in store for a big-time celebration! Let's go to Maggie and Josh, who are with another special guest celebrity! As promised Maggie and Josh sit wit rap superstar, Jay-Z. Well Maggie sits, Josh tries to awkwardly squeeze into the shot. MAGGIE Aww man! Yo, Anglemania has been crazy so far, but for this women's champ its about to get even crazier, 'cause Josh and I are lucky enough to be chilling with a man who doesn't need any introduction, Jay-Z! JAY What up, baby girl. Thinking his new name "Baby girl" Josh dives on top of Mackie to get himself into the shot. JOSH Jay hova! H TO THE IZZO, V TO THE IZZ-A NOT GUILTY YA'LL GOT TO FELL ME. WASSSSSUP, Young Hov?! J.MATH keepin' it how he keeps it! Riggity-riggity-real! Homie g, you got to be feelin my get fresh flow. Word to the 8th wonder of the world, wrestling's grateful dead, J.MATH! Hova, I knew you're not as intuned to the streets as a Blood like be. But, just for my Crips in the county blues... MAGGIE Shut up, asswipe, you're not a crip! JOSH Bitch adjust ya motherfuckin' tampon, I been crippin' from cradle2grave . I swear to God I-- JAY Crip? I thought you said you was blood. JOSH .................................I am. JAY Nigga, how you been crippin all your life and you a blood? JOSH I'm BOTH, herb! MAGGIE You can't be a crip and a blood. Stooge! JOSH I'm from Compton, trick ho, you can't tell me what the fuck I can and can't be. I been a crud my whole life. JAY Crud? JOSH A crippin blood! Dang, smarten up, Hov! MAGGIE Did you just.... JAY Make up a gang? While everyone in the vicinity contemplates leaving the show en masse, Josh throws up complicated gang sign that includes the robot and cabbage patch. MAGGIE Another Anglemania moment down the drain. Back to ya'll!

COLE Folks, great match we just had, and we still have many more on the way. Currently, Kevin Kelly is at the Staples Center with none other then cousin of Vinny Valentine and recently eliminated contestant on the Look of Love, Tony Tourettes. Kevin? We go over to the Staples Center, where Kevin Kelly sits in the stands with Tony Touerettes. KELLY Tony, thank you very much for sitting with me on this Anglemania evening! TONY Sure no SHOVE MY MAN TITS IN YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN FACE problem. KELLY ...I know you've been enjoying the show so far. TONY BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! Yeah, its been great, man. I loved every minute BULLSHIT BULLSHIT of it. Kevin Kelly is visibly flustered by the most terrible interview assignment in the history of modern man! KELLY Well, Tony....what's been your favorite match so far? TONY Actually, I think all the boys CAN SUCK A MILLION MOTHERFUCKING COCKS have put on a great LAPDANCE FOR ANGLESAULT'S THROBBING MEMBER show. Every match has SUCKED A MILLION MOTHERFUCKING COCKS been excellent. I can't wait to BURY MY FACE IN YOUR SMELLY TWAT see more. KK backs way from Tony nice and slowly. The perils of being a freelance correspondent! KELLY Yes....uh....back to the Coliseum. Back at the stadium, above the ring, the suitcase descends with the massive cell just below it as blue lights begin flashing all around it. The crowd quiets down in awe as the ring crew finishes carefully stringing up the barbed wire ring ropes. A lone ladder stands in the center of the ring. COLE And here we are, Coach. COACH I'm fucking terrified, Cole. You know who you fuckin with? Jester's theme by ICP hits and the crowd sets about it's booing. The demented clown emerges with a fiendish grin as he glare at the cell and the ring. He makes his way towards the center of the arena with Miss Jobbs in tow, but she's looking at all of this warily. COLE Jobbs doesn't seem quite as into this as her beau. COACH Bitch isn't crazy, Cole. You get here and you see the stakes and, if you're not crazy, it'll take some of the wind out of your sails. Jester hits the ring, leaving Jobbs outside. He hits the corners, never ceasing to grin that unsettling grin. REBIRTHING by Skillet hits and the crowd BLOWS UP as the stage EXPLODES! Phoenix runs out to the edge of the stage and throws up a salute, a la Cena. As usual he's sporting his BURN BRIGHT sleeveless hoodie and his usual black and white tights and boots. Widow is right behind him, grinning, pausing behind him to frame him with her arms like Vanna White. They make their way down, and at the bottom Phoenix sweeps her back and kisses her. He slides into the ring and pops up right in Jester's face, but the ref is between them before anything can go down. COLE Phoenix is ready for action here at Anglemania, his FIRST TIME back in action since his return! COACH Time to see if his fists can back up his mouth. The music dies down and the cage begins to lower, creating a sustained murmur in the crowd. The ref talks to both contestants and THE BELL RINGS - IMMEDIATELY, Phoenix comes in with a set of hard rights, blocked after several solid hits by Jester, who comes back with a few of his own, driving Phoenix back to the ropes. The tension in the crowd rises as Phoenix gets dangerously close, but he puts on the brakes and tries to haul Jester around into a whip - NOPE, Jester barely stops, but it's an opportunity - GERMAN SUPLEX by Phoenix. COLE Boom! And we're off with INTENSITY~! Jester is rattled, but he meets Phoenix at their feet and comes in with a couple of punches. WHIP - and Phoenix LEAPS, avoiding the barbed wire ropes, catching and clinging to the cell wall!! Jester is right on his tail, sprinting to leap up, but Phoenix scouts it – BOOM, ELBOW DROP from the cell wall! Jester's legitimately stunned, giving Phoenix a few seconds to get up. He starts putting the boots to Jester's head and neck, breaking only to drop a quick elbow before he's right back up. Phoenix grabs Jester's head and starts pulling him up, but the clown was ready. He shoves up, pushing Phoenix back – INTO THE BARBED WIRE! Phoenix hits at an angle, and jerks in pain, further tangling himself up. Eventually, he stills, trying to slowly work his way out of it, but Jester won't give him the time. Jester is on him with hard kicks, taking care to nail the barbs specifically. Phoenix jerks and SCREAMS in pain! Jester backs away, satisfied, and starts climbing the ladder. Phoenix struggles, plucking barbs out, yelling with every quick burst of pain. Jester gets to the top of the ladder and starts trying to unlatch the cell door! Phoenix finally gets free, blood dripping off of him everywhere, and sees what's happening. With a burst of adrenaline, he RUSHES THE LADDER, toppling it AND JESTER over! Phoenix is cradling his upper body, no doubt throbbing, and Jester is nursing his left arm. Both men struggling to the ropes at different sides. Jester is up first and he picks up the ladder, but it's apparent that it's hurting his arm to do it, with that arm sagging a bit. Phoenix is leaning against the ropes, but standing. Jester CHARGES! DROPKICK BY PHOENIX! The ladder SMACKS back against Jester, knocking him down. Phoenix pulls himself up in the corner as Jester tends to his left arm. While he's distracted, Phoenix looks down the ropes at the adjoining corner and smiles. As he makes his way over, the crowd begins buzzing. Along the way, Phoenix pauses to grab the ladder and kick Jester in the hurt arm a few times, sending the clown rolling over, clutching it, screaming. Phoenix gets to the corner, dragging the ladder. He props it against the ropes, and pulls himself up so he's sitting on the top turnbuckle. He grabs the ladder, makes sure its closed, and turns it upside down. The crowd is burning up now, as Phoenix RAISES IT and LEAPS - DRIVING IT RIGHT INTO THE STERNUM OF JESTER! Jester folds up and rocks back as Phoenix stumbles away. Phoenix takes a breather before suddenly SNAPPING, STOMPING AROUND THE RING AND PLAYING TO THE CROWD, which goes NUTS! He stops at the ropes and – STOMP! COLE Here is it, Phoenix giving a nod to his mentor, Shawn Michaels! STOMP! Jester is on all fours, barely aware of -- STOMP! Jester is up on one knee, back turned to Phoenix - STOMP! He's up, TURNS-- PHOENIX KI-- NO! JESTER DUCKS! REACHES BACK - JESTERCUTTER! BOOM! The back of Phoenix's head BOUNCES off the mat! Both men are laid out, with Widow and Jobbs rattling the cage to try to wake them up. Jester is up first, a little dazed but ready to go. He drags the ladder up, nudging a motionless Phoenix out of the way. Jester sets it up and starts climbing. Phoenix doesn't move. Jester reaches the top and starts fiddling with the cell door. Phoenix barely stirs... The Cell Door is OPEN! Phoenix sees it and LUNGES! The ladder moves, GOES OFF BALANCE - Jester grabs the hanging door and is hanging as the ladder topples away! Phoenix is up and moving, but he falls back to one knee for a moment. COLE The blood loss is starting to get to Phoenix, I don't know if he's going to get out of here with a career! Jester trying to claw his way up but it's difficult. Phoenix hauls the ladder up and SETS ITUP! He starts the climb, but NOT in the middle! COACH What the hell is he doing? Phoenix gets to the top of the ladder and turns precariously to face the hanging Jester. The crowd starts BUZZING - Phoenix LAUNCHES – SPEAR! SPEAR TO JESTER! DRIVING HIM RIGHT INTO THE RING! BOTH MEAN BOUNCE and LAND, rolling away. They are HURT. Neither moves for long moments. The ref raises their hands ONCE - Nothing. TWICE - Nothing. THREE TIMES – PHOENIX GETS HIS UP! PHOENIX IS AWAKE! Jester's falls back to the mat. Phoenix absently searches for the ropes and FINDS THEM Jester still limp at FIVE Phoenix gets to his feet and hangs out for a minute, gathering himself. Jester still down at SEVEN Phoenix pulls the ladder up and into place - TEN! COLE Jester is officially out! COACH But that won't win the match! Phoenix begins a very slow and agonized climb, pausing and resting several times before he gets to the TOP, and the crowd is CHEERING! Jester grabs the bottom of the ladder and pulls himself up with it, wild eyed! Phoenix clears it, and is STANDING ATOP THE CELL! Jester starts his climb, comparatively zooming up the ladder as Phoenix struggles with the briefcase! Jester reaches the top just as Phoenix gets the zip-tie holding it in place loose and GRABS PHOENIX'S FOOT! Jester pulls his feet right out from under him, causing a concerned WOOA! To rippled through the crowd as Phoenix lands on the notoriously fickle caging. Jester gets up top, on his knees, struggling to get up, dizzy from climbing the ladder with a probable head injury Phoenix gets to his feet just as Jester does - PHOENIX KICK! BOOM! JESTER takes it FULL ON! His head SNAPS BACK, he STUMBLES – BACK DOWN THROUGH THE CAGE DOOR! BOOM!!!!! HE HITS THE RING WITH A SICKENING THUMP! Phoenix grabs the case and YANKS IT FREE!!! WINNER: PHOENIX at 19:43!!!! THE CROWD EXPLODES! COLE He did it! He did it! James Cone will continue working in the OAOAST! JESTER is FINISHED! Phoenix holds the briefcase up triumphantly, throwing his other arm up in celebration, ignoring the searing pain he's feeling! Officials scurry to the ring to check on Jester as another ladder is set against the Cell for Phoenix to climb down. He tosses the briefcase over, and Widow is there to catch it, jumping up and down. Jobbs hits the ring to check on Jester, who is stirring. Alive, but barely. Phoenix grabs the sides of the ladder and SLIDES DOWN as the crowd breaks into a PHOE-NIX, PHOE-NIX, PHOE-NIX chant! Widow kisses him before taking his arm and raising it in victory! COLE And a huge victory for James Cone in his return to Anglemania! A huge, huge victory! And will we see the same kind of celebration tonight from Tha Puerto Rican if he beats Stephen Joseph. COACH Naw, because Rock Jr. gets no pussies.

We go all the way to the backstage area where Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura both dressed in tuxedos (although Jesse's is powder blue), stand inside the interview stage and area decorated with an OAOAST banner and several wall mounted TV's that play highlights from the three previous matches. SCHIAVONE Jess, already we've seen Jock Mulligan spit at the feet of Melody Nerdly, a man wear a diaper, and Reject and Thunderkid pick up the quickest win in Anglemania history. This is truly the greatest night in professional wrestling! On tap we have the second title match of our great evening, The Love Generation, led by face of the year Leon Rodez, meet Internationally Known for the vacated six man titles. Jess, I know you're interests lies in our tag division, but what kind of strategy does someone need going into a six man match? VENTURA Schiavone, I suspect that its the exact same as a regular tag match, just with one extra person. SCHIAVONE That's it? VENTURA They aren't paying me by the word, Schiavone. And on that note we return to the Stadium, where the sold out crowd is on their feet, showcasing their signage (is that even a word) and posters to the roaming cameras. A graphic rests on the screen, indicating the number of attendees, which depending on who's match you're reading can go from 70,000-120,000! COLE Folks, thank you so much for joining us here tonight from the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum! Let's get to a bout I know you all have been waiting for, our six man title match. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this next contest at AngleMania VII is scheduled for one fall and it is for the vacant OAOAST WORLD 6-Man Tag Team Championships!! "The Church Of Hot Addiction" by Cobra Starship hits as the 6-Man Tag Team Title situation is set to be cleared up at AngleMania. Nathaniel Black leads out for his team, wearing the brand-new Cucaracha Internacional t-shirt proudly under his jacket. Behind him, James Blonde wears his t-shirt too, along with a brand new pair of wrestling tights. The lower half depict the city of Los Angeles, then the material thins out to mere strands at his thighs, connecting to the rest of the tights which bear the flags of all four Cucaracha Internacional members (except Cortez of course). Hey, he's a Trendsetter. Blonde is flanked by Faqu who isn't wearing the shirt, for easily guessable reasons. BUFFER Introducing first. Total combined weight, seven hundred and fourty seven pounds. Together, they represent Cucaracha Internacional! The team of "THE TRENDSETTER" JAMES BLONDE... "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL" FFFFFAAAAAAAAQQQQQUUUUUUUU... and, their tag team partner, from London, England... NATHANIEL BLACK... they are INTERNATIONALLY KKNNOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWNN!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Out head two-thirds of the team stripped of the 6-Man Titles two weeks ago, James Blonde and Faqu. And after winning the titles at the Leap Year Spectacular with Todd Cortez, tonight at AngleMania they join forces with their regular partner Nathaniel Black to try and re-capture those belts. COACH You're looking at the rightful champions right now. If AngleSault hadn't stuck his nose in, we wouldn't have needed this match in the first place! COLE Then maybe it's a good thing he did, because this certainly promises to be an exciting contest. The three world travelled stars enter the ring and Black gives out some abuse to the Los Angeles fans, while Blonde gets in Faqu's ear and tries to assert whatever control he may have over the wild Samoan. Black lends his hand to the conversation too and Faqu nods away to what they're saying. .:CUE: "Love Generation", Bob Sinclar:. A sudden eruption goes up in the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, as out onto the stage bound the members of the Love Generation! "Showtime" Shayne Brave and "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant fire up the fans in sheer excitement while Leon Rodez cuts a much cooler character between them. Leon looks out into the crowd and tries to assist the building officials by conducting a headcount of all the fans present. He loses count at about 46 though and wisely gives up there, getting Shayne and Tyler's attention and pointing them on down the long walk to the ring BUFFER And the opponents! At a total combined weight of five hundred and ninety nine pounds... the former OAOAST Six Man Tag Team Champions... "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE BRAVE and "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRYANT, they are D*LLLUUUUUXXXXXX!! And, their tag team partner. He is Silky Smooth, he is "LUSCIOUS" LEON RODEZ!! Together, are the LLLOOOOOOOOVVEEEEE GGEEENNEEERRRRRRAAAAAAATTIIIIIIOOOOOOOONN!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE It was only a year ago when D*LUX suffered the worst night of their OAOAST careers, their match with The Beverly Hills Blonds overshadowed by Jade Rodez being lured into The Enterprise. They'll be hoping for a better night tonight. On the other hand, Leon Rodez is 3-0 at AngleMania! COACH Like that means anything. COLE I'll remember that for when Landon comes out. Leon has beaten no less than The Amazing Rando, The Superstar, K-Money, Tha Puerto Rican and Todd Cortez at the big dance and now he's looking to add three more names to the list here tonight. Leon and D*LUX hand-slap their way down the aisle, looking just pleased to be in front of so many of their fans, let alone with a shot at the 6-Man Tag Team Titles to look forward to. COLE And mentioning Jade Rodez, you notice she's not at ringside with her team. She's been through a terrible few weeks and it's sure to be a rough night for her tonight when her birth mother Krista Isadora Duncan collides with Alix Maria Spezia. Unfortunately, Jade not in the right frame of mind yet to be out managing but we're sure she's watching somewhere here in Los Angeles and we send out our best wishes to you Jade. In slides Leon and D*LUX, firing up the crowd yet again to the disdain of Nathaniel Black in particular. The former champions scale turnbuckles and soak it all in, before they get down to the business of it all, the match. *DINGDINGDING!* D*LUX go out to the apron and Leon gives them some words of encouragement before he turns, to be faced by The Samoan Wrecking Ball. COLE Starting it out with the heavy hitter right here. Sizing up the big Samoan, Leon feels he needs a little extra support and gets the massive Los Angeles crowd a-clapping behind him. The clapping seems to infuriate Faqu however, as he charges around the ring like a wild animal, screaming out at the people. Blonde quickly leans over the ropes and manages to calm Faqu down while Rodez watches on from a safe distance. Once calmed down, Faqu then re-focuses on Rodez and they lock up, centre of the ring. Leon manages to hold his own for a second or so, but ultimately gets thrown down on his back unceremoniously. COLE And it's safe to say, you won't see any of the Love Generation trio matching power tonight with Faqu. COACH Well Leon goes around 220 and Faqu just manhandled him like he was nothing. Rodez picks himself back up and ushers referee Mike Chioda out of the way, running at Faqu with a clothesline. The Samoan barely moves however. Off the ropes, Rodez hits another clothesline but again Faqu just takes it and asks for more. So Rodez runs the ropes one more time, tumbling forward looking for the Shack Attack... ...and taking a HARD thrust to the throat, sending a wad of spit flying from his mouth and clean into the second roWii COLE Holy cow! What a shot that was. Pulling Leon back to his feet, Faqu shoves him into a neutral corner... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and lays into him with a hard knifedge! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And another! On Blonde's instructions he then whips Leon out of the corner - no, reversed. Faqu hits the turnbuckles and Leon follows in close behind, attacking with double knees in the corner... but Faqu takes the knees with no effect AND SHOVES RODEZ OFF HIS CHEST WITH HIS BARE HANDS!! Rodez goes flying backwards and lands hard on the back of his head as Faqu pounds his chest dominantly. COACH Ho-ho! Can you believe that!? COLE Again, that is 218 pounds. Absolutely incredible power from The Samoan Wrecking Ball, Faqu. Faqu whips Rodez into the ropes, cutting him down with a back elbow. Tag is then made to James Blonde, who quickly runs down the apron and scales the turnbuckles. Top rope, he prepares the fist... and MISSES the Fistdrop! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Leon takes the opportunity to tag, bringing Tyler Bryant in with right hands flying. A series of them back Blonde up against the ropes before he attempts an irish whip. Blonde reverses and ducks his head for a backdrop, only for Tyler to counter with a small package... 1... 2... No! Swing and a miss from Blonde, getting caught with a schoolboy... 1... 2... No! Blonde tries to take Tyler out with a double leg takedown, but The Tremendous One blocks and turns Blonde over into a backslide... 1... 2... No! COLE Three quick nearfalls on the Love Generation side, looking to win back the vacant 6-Man Tag Team Titles. Looking to slow the pace down Blonde quickly grabs a side headlock and takes Tyler over to the mat with it. Kicking up, Tyler nips out of the headlock though and catches Blonde with an armdrag. A second. And a thir... NO, block of the third thanks to a handful of hair! Blonde drags Tyler back upright and wrings out the arm, going behind with a hammerlock. COLE Again with the hair. COACH Dude needs a new 'do. Seriously, get a haircut hippie. Tyler looks for an escape and finds it via a quick tuck and roll. Nipping up, he quickly reverses the control with a wring of the arm of his own. Another wring flips Blonde over onto his back and Tyler applies a top wristlock... 1... Shoulder up! Careful to keep his shoulders up, it's Blonde searching for a counter now. Again he finds one and again it involves a handful of hair, pulling Tyler into a crucifix pin... 1... 2... No! Blonde beats Tyler up and boots him in the gut. An irish whip sends him into the ropes, where Shayne Brave makes a quick blind tag. Underneath an elbow attempt goes Tyler, then as Blonde looks to catch him on the rebound he goes through the legs with a baseball slide... and trips out the feet, as Shayne hits a bulldog! COLE Nice double-team manoeuvre right there. Shayne makes the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! The smallest man in the match, Shayne makes the mistake of trying to get a front facelock on James Blonde and gets caught in the midsection with a quick knee. Blonde then gets over and makes the tag to Nathaniel Black, the Brit entering to a chorus of boos. And when Shayne turns around, he gets nailed with an elbow strike, only prolonging the boos. COLE Nathaniel Black so far the odd-man out in Cucaracha Internacional. While Blonde and Faqu have been receiving title shots and competing big matches, Black has been somewhat consigned to the sidelines. COACH Now, let's not try and cause any trouble here. Landon's had his reasons. COLE I'm sure he has. And I'm sure Nathaniel Black could care less about those reasons deep down. Black lays into Shayne with another elbow strike to the face threatening to mess up his pretty boyband looks in the process. Into a neutral corner staggers Shayne. Black yells at Leon and Tyler in the corner before he follows after him, rocking him in the corner with a European uppercut. And a second one. Piefacing Showtime, Black then starts yelling again, before clubbing Shayne with a third European uppercut that knocks him off his feet. COLE Black really laying in with those European uppercuts here. COACH Nathaniel's from Europe, so wouldn't they just be "uppercuts" to him? Pulling Shayne up in the corner, Black looks for an irish whip. As he approaches the opposite corner though, Shayne springs up to the middle rope and twists back with a crossbody block... 1... 2... No! Black pushes Shayne off and with an angry look on his face, the Englishman swings with a Lariat. Duck underneath by Shayne though, before attempting to take Black over with a headscissors. Black blocks Shayne from twisting however. Caught, Shayne is then hoisted up over the shoulder and jarred with a Shoulderbreaker! COACH Here's what Nate can do better than anyone else, pick apart a bodypart, zero in on a target. And do it with no remorse what-so-ever. COLE It's okay to call him 'Nate'? COACH It's okay for ME to call him Nate, sure. Hanging onto the arm, Black lets Shayne fall back onto his feet before wringing out the arm. Black then pulls Shayne in for what looks like a back suplex and lifts him up... only to let go of the body in mid-air and just HAUL Shayne back down to earth awkwardly by the arm! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Black bars the arm and pulls away at the shoulder as Shayne yells in pain, drawing the Los Angeles crowd behind his cause. "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" With his free hand Shayne reaches out in search for the tag as he climbs back to his feet. Inches away, he's dragged back by the hair however, Black keeping the armbar clamped on and one hand right on the shoulder. He then releases the armbar though, elbowing Shayne in the shoulder. Black then HEADBUTTS Shayne right in the side of the skull, dropping him to the mat. Showing virtually no ill-effects of headbutting another human being, Black tags out to Faqu, who picks up where his partner left off as he drops a headbutt of his own. Wanting to get in on the action, Blonde tags in and instructs Faqu to hold Shayne's arm out for him as he climbs to the middle rope, coming off with his own headbutt... and instantly regretting it! COLE I guess Canadians don't have hard craniums like Brits and Samoans do. Blonde quickly tags back out to Black, rubbing his head. The Brit re-applies his armbar on Shayne, but Shayne shows some fight as he catches Black with a left hand to the stomach. Another left. And another. Gripping both hands around the wrist, Shayne then pulls Black over with an armdrag and makes a lunge for his corner... ...CAUGHT! Black catches Shayne over his shoulder, carrying him away from Leon and Tyler before dropping him across the top rope with a Hotshot! COACH That won't do the arm much good neither. Cover by Black, forearm forced into the jawbone... 1... 2... Broken up by Leon! Angrily getting on the referee's case, it's clear Black doesn't appreciate Leon's interruption. Black pulls Shayne to his feet, placing the right arm behind the back in a hammerlock and striking him in the bicep with a forearm. Another forearm. Black then wrings out the arm again, re-applying the hammerlock, stepping out in front of the boybander and kicking the leg out to bring Shayne down with the Hammerlock DDT! He then makes the tag to James Blonde, The Trendsetter applying his own armbar on Shayne with a confident smile. One of his many words draws Tyler into the ring, referee Chioda cutting him off allowing the triple team behind him. Sent into the corner by Blonde, Shayne is sandwiched in with a high knee by Black. Next in line is Faqu, thundering forward with an AVALANCHE! Blonde then cleans up, clothesline in the corner before bulldogging Shayne out into the centre of the ring. Cover is made and once Chioda has all men out, he counts... 1... 2... KICKOUT! COLE Triple-team work there by the trio formerly, currently, whatever, known as Internationally Known. The irony behind the title vacancy is, this three might well be a better team than the three who had the titles, Blonde, Faqu and Todd Cortez. COACH They are better. It's not even close. COLE Then why did Landon not put this team up against Love Generation at the Leap Year Spectacular? COACH Because he wanted Cortez to feel important, dummy! And it worked, didn't it? Blonde keeps Shayne down as he tags Black back in. Together they send Shayne off with a double irish whip, setting him up for a double hiptoss. Shayne floats right the way over onto his feet though, so Black and Blonde flip him back the other way... and get taken down with armdrags! COLE That didn't work though! As they scramble back up, Black and Blonde catch Shayne trying to sneak through the middle of them and throw him back towards the ropes. Shayne rebounds back and looks for a crossbody block, but gets CAUGHT by the international superstars. Quickly they call in Faqu and with Shayne still held between the two, Faqu pounds his chest in the corner and charges... ...but Shayne escapes, Faqu clotheslining Black while Blonde is taken over with another armdrag variation!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE WOW! COACH How the hell did he get out of that one? COLE Maybe a case of too many cooks on that exchange. Leon and Tyler stay on the outside despite the temptation to come in and help out their third man. And it pays off when Shayne crawls through the legs of Faqu AND GETS THE TAG!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" In comes Leon, fists of fire unloading on Faqu. Blonde runs over to try and cut The Silky Smooth One off, but a sidestep sends him colliding into his bulky partner and they both stagger. Running the ropes, Rodez rolls through and throws the Shack Attack... Blonde sidesteps, but Faqu is only a step behind him and gets knocked down as a result! COLE Down goes the 300 pound Samoan! Blonde looks for a clothesline on Leon, but he ducks... and Blonde gets taken out with a Top Rope Crossbody by "Tremendous" Tyler! COLE And it is breaking down in Los Angeles, California! Collecting themselves, Leon and Tyler duck underneath a double lariat attempt from Nathaniel Black. Elbows land into the gut, Leon and Tyler taking Black over with a double snapmare. Off opposite sets of ropes they then cross over, before delivering stereo dropkicks to the front and back of the Englishman. Black holds his chest and rolls out of the ring, a double high-five exchanged by Leon and Tyler... BEFORE A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE FROM FAQU MOWS THEM DOWN!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Faqu screams away at the fans, distracting him from Shayne Brave who manages to pull him down with a rollup... 1... 2... No! Faqu powers out of the pin. Picking himself up, Shayne thinks about going after Faqu but the big Samoan motors towards him, forcing him to quickly think again, lowbriding the top rope and sending Faqu flying out to the arena floor. COLE That might be the best strategy for Love Generation. Keep Faqu out of the equation. Shayne and Blonde meet in the middle of the ring with everyone else now on the outside. Forearms are exchanged between the two before Blonde gets in a knee, looking for a whip, reversed by Shayne. Off the ropes Blonde throws a clothesline, but Shayne runs right underneath it and comes off the ropes with a Flying Forearm to knock JB down. Calling for the end, Shayne then stalks Blonde on his way up, hooking the head for the Shaynedrop... but Blonde counters with a takedown, looking to apply a Fujiwara armbar! Shayne manages to roll through and out of it though. Coming up near the ropes, Shayne then sees Blonde soaring towards him with a crossbody and ducks, Blonde going right the way over the top... ...CAUGHT on the outside by Faqu... ...before Shayne launches himself onto the both of them with a pescado!! "SHAYNE!" "SHAYNE!" "SHAYNE!" "SHAYNE!" COLE Showtime stepping it up here at THE show, AngleMania! Inside rolls Tyler, signalling that he's going to dive as well. As he hits the ropes though, a knee is jammed into his back by Nathaniel Black. Black quickly climbs into the ring and delivers the Half Nelson Backbreaker, before making the cover... 1... 2... KICKOUT! Black now looks to put things away, as he tries to apply the Crossface Chickenwing. Apparently having it scouted, Tyler manages to dodge out of the way though and catches Black with a jumping Neckbreaker. He too covers... 1... 2... NO! Back in slides Shayne Brave now and D*LUX combine, as they set Black up. A double whip sends him into the ropes, caught by the arms and dropped into the Cowell Movement!! COLE D*LUX, you ARE going to Hollywood! COACH Ridiculous. Together D*LUX draw on the support of those in the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum as they set Black up again. Tyler draws on all of his strength to pick Black up in a wheelbarrow position, while Shayne runs the ropes. As he runs past though, his path is cut off by Faqu, who makes it to his feet in time to knock Shayne down with a shoulder tackle! Faqu then slaps Tyler in the back, forcing him to drop Black face-first. COLE As soon as Faqu gets in the whole complexion of the match changes. The man is dominant. Turning Tyler around, Faqu scoops him up into a fireman's carry and looks to hit the Samoan Drop. As Faqu turns though, he sees Shayne pulling himself up onto the middle rope. So he walks over and headbutts him in the gut... BEFORE PICKING SHAYNE UP ON HIS SHOULDERS AS WELL!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Oh no! COACH A DOUBLE Samoan Drop!? With BOTH members of D*LUX on his shoulders, Faqu turns around, yelling away to himself in Samoan. Behind him, Leon Rodez scales the turnbuckles though. Up top, he sees Nathaniel Black still down and calls out to Faqu... ...STEPS OFF OF SHAYNE AND TYLER'S BACKS... ...AND LANDS THE 450 SPLASH ON NATHANIEL BLACK!!!!!!!!!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" COACH COLE INCREDIBLE! Faqu is distracted by the fact somebody just walked right over him and that allows Shayne and Tyler to escape from his shoulders, holding him at bay while Leon hooks the leg... 1... 2... 3- NO, JAMES BLONDE MAKES THE SAVE!!!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh man that was close! I still can't believe I just saw what I think I just saw! COACH You and me both buddy. Unable to hold any Faqu longer, Shayne and Tyler are thrown off and go flying out of the ring as a result. Blonde works over Leon now, while Faqu follows D*LUX outside and goes on the attack. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" The crowd get behind The Grand Rapids Golden Child as Blonde works him over. Pulling him to his feet, Blonde quickly delivers a Sitout Jawbreaker. The move serves to stun Leon as much as anything, which is good enough for JB as then switches behind and applies the cobra clutch, setting up Illegally Blonde... but Leon suddenly deadlifts him up onto his back and sits out, countering with the Backpack Stunner!! COLE Banana Hammock! Hitting the move hurts Leon's arm a little, but he shakes it off and makes the pin... 1... 2... NO! Back up, Rodez backs off a step from Blonde... before snapping off a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels... *SMACK!* ...and nailing Blonde upside the head with the enziguri! COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! COACH And he isn't done yet unfortunately. Blonde falls throat-first across the middle rope and Leon hears the cheers from the Los Angeles crowd, pointing to Blonde and asking if they want to see 'it'. And after cheers of approval, Leon gives them what they want, THE JIG~!, before running... RIGHT INTO A BLACK LARIAT!!!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Leon landed on his head!! That could be all! Hook of the leg by Black... 1... 2... SAVE BY TYLER!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE Tyler Bryant just there a split-second before the three could come down. Unloading right hands, Tyler hits the ropes and throws a Yakuza Kick... DUCKED! Black quickly spins him around, landing a short elbow strike. Another elbow lands to the jaw, then a European uppercut, before Black doubles "Tremendous" Tyler over and crosses over the arms. Tyler spins out before the Brittania Bomb however, booting Black in the gut and picking him up onto the shoulders. Down the back slides Black however, shoving Tyler in the back... *SMACK!* ...INTO A THRUST KICK FROM FAQU!! COACH Turn out the lights! This party is over my friend! Tyler climbs back up but loses his equilibrium instantly and falls face-first into the corner. Motoring in, Black takes advantage with a LARIAT right to the back of the head! Throwing Tyler back to Faqu, Black then gives the signal and Faqu obliges, turning Tyler around and double underhooking the arms for DEATH BY SAMOAN!!!! "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Nobody kicks out of that! In dives Shayne, but Black lunges on him and wraps him in a Fujiwara Armbar, while Faqu flips Tyler over and kneels down on his chest... 1... 2... *TAP* 3!!!! *TAPTAP* *DINGDINGDING!* COLE Submission or pinfall, take your pick. Internationally Known have won it! Leon falls short of getting in the ring and slumps disappointedly on the apron, as Black lets go of the armbar and raises his hands with a shout of victory... literally, yelling it at the fans who jeer wildly. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners... and the new OAOAST World 6-Man Tag Team Champions of the WOOORRLLD... JAMES BLONDE, NATHANIEL BLACK and FAQU... INTERNATIONALLY KNOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWN!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Taking the belts, Black leans against Faqu and the two hold their title belts between their teeth, still pinned on top of Tyler Bryant. In staggers James Blonde to collect his title as well and the trio of former HI-YAH superstars celebrate their victory, while Leon sits on the apron and holds his neck. COLE Fantastic six man tag team action in a match that swung back and forth, back and forth, it really could have gone either way. But in the end, it was the explosive power of Faqu that proved the difference maker. And Cucaracha Internacional have their belts back. COACH They never lost them in my eyes. But, hey, if you wanna call Faqu and JB two time champs now, all the better for it. And now, you've got the TRUE six-man team of Cucaracha Internacional, Internationally Known, Faqu and Blonde with their boy Nate Black, all is right with the 6-Man Tag Team Titles now! As Blonde coaxes Faqu out of the ring and congratulates him on his work, Black savours his first OAOAST championship with a vengeful smile on his face. Turning to the ring he raises the 6-Man belt over his head, watched by Leon Rodez who checks on D*LUX's condition. COLE Disappointment for all the members of the Love Generation, those in the ring and those amongst these fans in Los Angeles as well. But they can be proud of their efforts tonight. Proving so, Leon pulls Shayne and Tyler to their feet, showing his pride in them as he raises their hands in the air to soak in the appreciation of the crowd in the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. Unimpressed are Internationally Known, pointing out that they're the ones with the belts no matter what anyone thinks of them. "LOVE GEN!" "LOVE GEN!" "LOVE GEN!" "LOVE GEN!"