Patty O'Green

COLE When you hold a major show like this in a city like Los Angeles, the stars are bound to come out and see the superstars of the OAOAST. But I don't think any celebrity is as big a fan of the OAOAST as the guy who's standing with Josh and Maggie. Maggie and Josh stand in the front row with an African American Male attired in huge pink sunglasses and a bright pink fur coat. And no he's not related to WARRIOR or Los Diablos in anyway! MAGGIE Thanks, Mickey C. Maggie Nerdly “it” girl on the scene and this idiot that keeps stalking me, chillin with rapper Camron. What up Cam? CAMRON Killa Cam just glad to be another Anglemania, another OAOAST show, takin' in all the action and whatnot. JOSH Cam, on OAOAST.com there's a great article penned by your's truly in which you boast that you're the biggest OAOAST fan in the entire world! And you said that your favorite superstar is your New York homey, Reject. MAGGIE Cam, spit a hot 16 about Reject! CAM'RON Ayo first off 'Ject you the reason I'm in a corvette I'm a tru harlem cat...im no urkel nigga I remember when you met D'rugs..I met him to You the reason I'm in this bm...color hypno blue me n you gonna take ova harlem...and flood Manhattan wit that wet work...everybody gonna be red rag flaggin 'Ject u the releast man uptown You told me to keep the pump around...for dumb clowns now i pump pounds...dont dumb it down me and you Reject is like the 08 meth & red but we aint no weed addicts..I'm tryin to see cabbage and put rocks in my chain the size of vitamin c tablets these nigga dont know nuttin how to rock the cain ya'll fake hustlas only know wwf...Rock & Kane so yea 'ject imma get back atcaha..I'm almost done this is more to come..this just round one MAGGIE Wow, that is real spit! JOSH Yes it sure was a fine aural accompaniment for these marvelous periods of whimsy we find ourselves immersed in. Cam, I thank you. We cut back to Sofa Central where Coach is fuming and I'm sure he'll tell us why COACH Ain't nothin I hate more then them dusty Harmlites. Poor losers, then always go off on some “Come kick it at my crib, son” Talkin' bout you can come chill it at my crib. I better be welcome to your crib, bitch, because me and other tax payers are the one payin your bills. Broke assed fam. I hate dudes like that. Ol section 8 , welfare, food stamp punk. The best revenge is that they ain't gonna never make it out the hood They will have children young and be stuck in the hood. And they will be raised in the hood the cycle continues still draining my pockets with taxes though. Shit is homo. COLE DJ Clue's Super Mario Bros. remix hits, and the Burrough Boys make their way through the curtains. COLE And we're ready for a big four-on-two handicap match here at AngleMania VII! Thunderkid and Reject teamed up together once again! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following is a 4-on-2 handicap match, scheduled for one fall! Making their way to the ring, at a combined weight of 875 pounds...introducing Mariano, Luther, Waldo, and Quincy...THE BURROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYSSS!!!!! COLE And of course, it was about a month ago that the Burrough Boys disassociated themselves with Reject on HeldDOWN, and Reject was paired up with Thunderkid for this special match! The Boys enter the ring, and talk trash to fans, as Renegade hits, and the crowd cheers as Reject walks to the ring. COLE And here come their opponents! BUFFER And their opponents...first, hailing from the Bronx, weighing in at 235 pounds...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJECT!!!!! COACH But Cole, it's been over two years now since TK and Reject split up as a team! There's no way they can jump in there and compete with two of the Burrough BOys, let alone all four of them! Reject walks to the ring, and stops at the front of the aisleway. God of Thunder hits, and Thunderkid comes through the curtains, to a big pop from the crowd. COLE Well, we're about to find that out! BUFFER And his partner, from Green Bay, Wisconsin, weighing in at 250 pounds...THUNDERKID!!!!! TK and Reject meet at the end of the aisle, and look at each other for a second, then slide into the ring, and a brawl ensues! *DING DING DING* COLE And we're underway! Mariano and Luther beat down on Reject in one corner, while Quincy and Waldo do the same to TK in the opposite. COACH And just as I predicted, Cole! The Burrough Boys meet in mid-ring for a four-way jumping high five, and return to the corners. However, Thunderkid and Reject fight back on their opponents! COLE But back come Thunderkid and Reject! Thunderkid and Reject both execute DOUBLE NOGGIN-KNOCKERS~! on their adversaries, then Mariano and Quincy are whipped into one another, and both fall to the outside. TK grabs Luther, and grabs him in a hangman's hold. COLE Look at this! COACH Oh no, I hate this move! Reject measures Luther, and delivers a STIFF roundhouse kick to the midseciton! TK then hooks Waldo in a dragon sleeper position... COLE And this one could be over in a hurry! TK lifts Waldo onto Reject's shoulder, for the THUNDEROUS REJECTION~!!!!!11111 COACH I can't believe this! 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COLE Wow! That could be a record time for an AngleMania match! BUFFER The winners of the match...the team of THUNDERKID and REJECT!!!!! TK and Reject give each other high tens, as Mariano tries to get back into the ring, but thinks better of it when TK cuts him off. COLE Thunderkid and Reject, together again, and in a big way, making short work of the four Burrough Boys! COACH I still can't believe that, Cole, I mean how long were they in there? Like you said, that has to be a record. COLE Maybe we can get that info later! Right now, let's go to Syndicated announce team Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura. Fellas?

Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste I've been around for a long, long year Stole many a man's soul and faith BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the opening contest of AngleMania VII, 8-man tag team mayhem and it is scheduled for one fall. ***VS*** COLE What an opener this should be. 8 of the best young athletes in the OAOAST today, all former tag team champions, competing not for any title but a whole lot of bragging rights. COACH One team will be able to tell their grandchildren 40-50 years from now they wrestled on the biggest stage and won. Sorta like how you’ll be able to tell your snot-nosed grandkids you worked with the Coach, Mikey. No spectacular entrance this year for the Enterprise, having spent their AM budget on a makeover for the Beverly Hills Blonds, now sporting darker hairstyles in addition to rose color sunglasses and matching silver trunks with red stars to go along with their trademark silver vests, and obtaining the rights for Theodore Moneymaker’s new theme “Sympathy for the Devil” by Guns N Roses. BUFFER Coming down the aisle, led by their Chief Financial Officer MACKENZIE DECENZO and Director of Security CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN, otherwise known as CPA, and MOLLY NERDLY. At a total combine weight of 922 pounds THE ENTERPRISE consisting of "THE HANDSOME HUSTLER" NED BLANCHARD and "BOX OFFICE" SIMON SINGLETON, THE BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDSSSSS, "THE NATURAL" CHRISTIAN WWWRRRRIIIIIIIGGHHHTT, and their brave and fearless leader, the CEO and Chairman of the Board... "THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR"... THEODORE MMMOOOOOOOOONNEEEEEEYYYYYYMMMAAAKKEEEEERRRRR!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Aspiring film director Molly Nerdly provides running commentary that is sure to be included on the AM DVD as she documents the Enterprise’s walk to the ring on the Siclopse. Bombarded with boos and words unsuitable for print, Theodore Moneymaker and company soak in the atmosphere, thankful to stand rich and famous inside the squared circle than poor and miserable in the crowd. COACH The Enterprise look like a billion bucks tonight, Mikey. And isn’t great to see Mackie back at their side after what happened to her this past week on HeldDOWN? COLE I know a lot of people who are disappointed about that. As far as I’m concerned, Mackenzie DeCenzo shouldn’t be allowed ringside. She’s a distraction and interferes in matches far too often. COACH What do you want her to do, get a makeover to resemble Sarah Jessica Parker? It’s not her fault guys trip and fall because of her beauty. Theodore Moneymaker reveals a new pair of red trunks/boots with green $ sign on the sides as he and the rest of his Enterprise remove their non-wrestling attire. Suddenly the lights turn red and blue and the crowd roars at the top of their lungs as “Thriller” by Fall Out Boy is cued. An orange pyro missile shoots above and crashes down onto the entrance stage, killing all the lights. Then a strange image begins to appear in a fiery blaze, that of a bull’s head which the home audience views courtesy of an overhead shot provided by the MetLife Blimp. Out from the back appear the Christ Air Express, Lone Star Gunslingers and Melody Nerdly, who all sprint to the ring with excitement, slapping hands and spreading cheer. BUFFER Their opponents, totaling 867 pounds. First hailing from Laguna Beach, California, by way of Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, the identical twin sensations of MARV and MEL... THE CHRIST AIR EEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXPPRRRRRREEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!! And their partners, accompanied by MELODY NERDLY, from San Antonio, Texas, here are “THE TEXAS TWISTER” JOCK MULLIGAN and BARON WINDELS… THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGEERRRRRSSSS!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Enthusiastic as can be, likely in part due to managing her own tag team and brothers at the grandest spectacle in all of parody e-fed entertainment, Melody waves to the crowd while the LSGS and CAE pose on the buckles, clearing the ring of Theodore Moneymaker‘s Enterprise. COLE A family affair this evening for Melody Nerdly and the Christ Air Express, and what a thrill it’s gotta be for them. COACH Imagine how their parents feel. COLE Full of pride I’m sure. COACH No, I’m talking about how they gotta be thrilled to have them out of the house! * DINGDINGDING * With everyone ready to go, the bell sounds. Simon Singleton and MARV start by circling around before locking up, and it’s the BOSS who gains control with a side headlock, but MARV brushes him off and leapfrogs Singleton twice on the rebound. As he shoots off the ropes a third time Simon telegraphs MARV’s backdrop and snaps him over with a SWINGING NECKBREAKER! The tag is then made to Ned Blanchard and the Handsome Hustler smashes the point of the elbow down on the heart of MARV and goes for the cover. ONE… KICKOUT! Blanchard whips MARV in for a back elbow, and then delivers a knee… NO, MARV BLOCKS IT AND LOCKS ON THE FIGURE-4! The other Enterprise members enter and join Ned in his suffering as the Lone Star Gunslingers and MEL place them in the same painful submission hold! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH This is a sad commentary on our society, Cole. We’ve got 100,000 people cheering four guys breaking the rules -- in front of the referee no less. Theodore Moneymaker rakes Baron’s eyes to start a chain reaction and the Enterprise reorganize outside with Mackenzie DeCenzo. Meanwhile, an exchange is made and Baron Windels assumes the role of legal man, and makes it clear Theodore Moneymaker is the man he wants. The Billion Dollar Heir is happy to oblige at first, then changes his mind at the last second, leaving the task to his partner Christian Wright. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MONEYMAKER CW schools Baron in the art of professional wrestling, applying an overhead wristlock on the 6’7” Gunslinger. Moneymaker comes in to assist, but Windels displays a tremendous amount of agility for a man his size by performing a back flip and then Japanese arm dragging the Natural and Billion Dollar Heir towards his corner where Jock and the Christ Air Express welcome them with closed fists! The most senior Enterprise members stumble back at Baron and he slams them both. Not wanting to leave anyone out of the party he treats the Beverly Hills Blonds to the same as well. A tag is made but Jock doesn’t come in alone, he brings his fellow teammates along for quadruple Irish whips, back body drops, and dropkicks that force Moneymaker and company to reorganize outside again! COLE The Enterprise in a world of disarray. Mackie tries to calm everyone, but Theodore Moneymaker isn’t having any of it, tugging on the ring skirt in frustration. Disappointed with the results thus far he removes CW from his post as legal man and takes over, driving his knee into the midsection of Jock Mulligan after locking up. Teddy follows a clubbing blow to the back with a snap mare, and then A FISTUL OF DOLLARS! ONE… KICKOUT! Theodore rams Jock into the buckle and tags Ned Blanchard, who proceeds to STOMP A MUDHOLE AND WALK IT DRY! Then after a combination of right hands and knife-edge chops that can be heard all the way up in the cheap seats, Ned fires Jock across…but the Texas Twister ducks a back elbow and catches Blanchard on the rebound with a HIGH CROSS BODY PURPLE MONKEY DISHWASHER!!! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO!! Ned pops up and takes a wild swing at Jock, who grabs the arm and brings him down in a BACKSLIDE! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Blanchard rushes to his feet again and walks into a side headlock takeover. Shoved off to the ropes Jock leapfrogs Ned on the way back and makes the blind tag to Baron, and together nail the conceited a-hole from Beverly Hills with an ARKANSAS TOOTHPICK! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Baron single-handedly fends off an attack from the Handsome Hustler’s associates as he tries climbing to the top, buying Ned the time he so desperately needs to recover and CROTCH WINDELS ON THE TURNBUCKLE! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Ned climbs onto the middle rope and plants Baron with his own signature move, the SUPERPLEX!! COACH (laughing) How embarrassing, Cole, to be beat with your own hold. Baron will never be able to show his face around here again. Maybe he’ll take Melody with him too! Blanchard celebrates as though he’s already won the match before even making the cover, and when he does it’s nonchalant. ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Jock stomps Ned on the head to breakup the pin! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Ned gives himself a scalp massage prior to slamming Baron in the center of the ring. Then it’s onto the middle rope for a Bret Hart-esque elbow to the sternum, but the Handsome Hustler would rather photograph the laid out Gunslinger on his “camera phone” first, which comes back to bite him in the ass when Baron gets the BOOT UP! COLE Blanchard paid for his arrogance there. One thing you don’t want to do is give the Lone Star Gunslingers and Christ Air Express a second wind. His balls still aching and back stinging, Baron tags MEL for his first official appearance in the match. And the oldest (by 40.8 seconds) of the identical twin sensations known as the Christ Air Express makes his presence felt immediately, catching a dazed Ned Blanchard with a SPINNING HEEL KICK! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Blanchard manages to reverse an Irish whip, but has no defense for a SWINGING BULLDOG! COLE Whatamaneuver! ONE… TWO… Save by Teddy Moneymaker! Quick tag from the CAE and they whip Ned into the ropes for a double BAAAAAAAACK body drop and REVERSE DIVING HEADBUTT from MARV, and then waste Simon Singleton coming in with a DOUBLE KICKFLIP (dropsault)! Christian Wright puts an end to all the fun and games, having received the tag while the CAE were dominating the Video Voyeur, putting both MARV and MEL down with a RUNNING STO!! COACH There’s a 2-for-1 special you didn’t need a coupon for. CW brutalizes MARV, hurling the youngster into the corner for a series of punishing European uppercuts and knife-edge chops that please his employer Theodore Moneymaker and partners. Then a BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX and the cover! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Christian Wright and Theodore Moneymaker tag and show a little teamwork, with CW hitting the deck after firing MARV off and Teddy cleaning up with a POWERSLAM! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Save by MEL. As the referee escorts MEL back to his corner, the Enterprise do a number on MARV in theirs, including a SLAP to the face courtesy of Mackenzie DeCenzo. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MELODY MACKIE The Enterprise hightail it soon thereafter, avoiding detection from the referee. Moneymaker toys around with MARV a bit, paint brushing/kicking him upside the head. Down but not out MARV floats over a suplex attempt and rolls the Billion Dollar Heir up from behind! ONE… TWO… But only two, as Teddy kicks MARV forward. A runaway freight train, MARV leaps onto the middle rope and back at the Billion Dollar Heir, decking him with a SPRINGBOARD BACK ELBOW! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" MARV doesn’t even need to think twice about tagging out, handing the reigns to Baron Windels of the Lone Star Gunslingers. The big Texan steps in and cleans house, shoving Teddy’s pearly whites down his throat with a BIG BOOT, then catching a spring boarding Simon Singleton with the DEVIL’S ADDICTION! Baron then connects with a TOP ROPE LARIAT that flips Theodore Moneymaker inside-out and makes the cover. ONE… TWO… Save by Ned, who Jock Mulligan knocks out to the floor with a dropkick! COACH Oh, come on. It’s one thing to make a save, it’s a whole other to run across the ring and hit somebody. Baron rams Teddy in the buckle and introduces him to his fist. 1... 2... 3. 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... Baron spots Christian Wright sneaking up behind him and leaps back with a reverse cross body, but the Natural catches Windels in midair and drops him throat-first on the top rope! COLE Stun Gun! The tag is made and so is the cover by CW. ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Jock breaks up the pin and gets into with Christian. Meanwhile, the Blonds and Theodore Moneymaker put the boots to Baron. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The damage done, CW tags Simon and the Blonds do their thing. First it’s a DOUBLE FEATURE FLAPJACK, and then Singleton follows a scoop slam with his patented CLAPBOARD (Guillotine) LEGDROP!! COACH Stick a fork in him, he’s done, Cole. I don’t see how Baron can kick out of this. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! COLE But he does! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" SIMON Ned Blanchard demands the tag and receives it, only to have his Slingshot Suplex blocked with a LEAPING DDT! COLE Brigham Young Cocktail! Baron struggles to his feet and to his corner, but is cut off by a BILLION $ KNEELIFT and PILEDRIVER! COACH There’s a bailout that produced results. Leave it to Teddy Moneymaker to show how it’s done. Apparently the legal man, Moneymaker drags Baron away and goes up top for a DIVING BACK ELBOW DROP… BUT NOBODY’S HOME! COLE Baron got the break he needed. Now can he make the tag? The answer is a definite YES. BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS adds to Moneymaker’s pain. Christian Wright in to assist, but Jock Mulligan pwns him with a belly-to-belly suplex. Ned Blanchard is next to try his luck, missing a clothesline and turns around into a BANDIT KICK! The only Enterprise member left standing, Simon decides he’s much happier on the apron, but that’s not good enough for Jock, who scoops the Video Voyeur on his shoulder… TEXAS PRAYER BOOK RUNNING POWERSLAM!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" As Jock turns his attention back to Moneymaker, he’s informed Baron Windels is once again the legal man. JOCK COACH I think we had a blind tag, Cole. COLE It must’ve happened when Jock went by his corner on the power slam. Baron wraps Theodore up in a bear hug, the prelude to the Lone Star Lasso, but still confused over the turn of events Jock is slow to react. Ned Blanchard isn’t however, drilling Jock from behind with the 90210 ENZURIGI~! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The jeers turn to cheer after MEL grabs Ned and gives him a NOSEPLANT, only to be yanked by his trendy wishbone necklace and dropped face-first with the STOCKMARKET CRASH! COACH That’s what MEL deserves for being stupid enough to wear jewelry in the ring. CW dusts his hands and falls to an ACID DROP! COACH How is that not a disqualification? COLE When has it ever been? You just don’t like the way the match is going. MARV signals for the Phoenix Splash, or Marvellousity, but Simon Singleton dropkicks him out to the floor! Lying the badmouth on MARV, Simon doesn’t see Baron rush up behind and is clotheslined over the top. Walking tall, the Gunslinger pumps his fist…AND GETS TRAPPED IN THE BANK VAULT!! “BARON!” “BARON!” “BARON!” On the seat of his pants and clutching the back of his head in the corner, Jock watches Baron fall to a knee. Melody pleads with Jock to help, but the Texas Twister SPITS AT HER FEET AND WALKS OFF. MELODY COLE What is this?! COACH I think Jock Mulligan’s finally had enough of Baron Windels and Melody Nerdly bossing him around. Fans along the aisle beg Jock to return as the ref checks Baron’s level of consciousness, raising the arm once. It drops. Twice. Jock changes his tune and sprints back to the ring as the referee raises Baron’s arm a third time… * DINGDINGDING * …but is too late. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match… THE ENTERPRISE!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "YEOW!" "Money Talks" by AC/DC play the victors backstage. Jock, meanwhile, apologizes for his behavior, disgusted at himself. COLE I don't know what to say about what we just saw. COACH Let’s get real with our talk, baby boy. Jock had every right to walk out. It’s only too bad he chickened out. I thought he was a bigger man. COLE In any event, it’s been a helluva start to AngleMania VII. Right now I under our freelance correspondent Kevin Kelly is at the Staples Center. KK? Kevin Kelly has the forum now...well the center...get it? No? Of course not. Anyway, Kevin Kelly is at a sold out Staples Center not for any normal sporting event, but for a sold out crowd watching a broadcast of AM VII. KEVIN Thanks, Michael Cole! Its Kevin Kelly over at the Staples Center with twenty five thousand screaming fans, who can't believe what Jock Mulligan just did to Melody Nerdly. I'm sure Jock will have a further apology and explanation for his actions on HeldDOWN. Right now I am standing beside an OAOAST Original...Caboose! Caboose when you first came into the OAOAST did you ever think it would last this long? To Anglemania VII? CABOOSE To be honest with you, no I didn't. We had a great collection of blokes back then, but I never thought it would be a long term proposition. I don't many of the others did to. It was all about having a laugh at the moment. Having a good time and entertaining the fans. If you got it, then great. If you didn't, then piss off with ya! But, fortunately a lot of people got it. And its a big credit to the guys and girls, who over the years, have kept this place going and kept it strong. Its their hardwork that keeps the OAOAST strong. All the respect in the world to them. KEVIN One last question, any chance you'll return to the ring? CABOOSE I think my days of wrestling are past me, KK. But, you never know when someone will need to smash Coach with a baseball bat! KEVIN Hahhaah, great. Back to Mikey and Coach, scared out of his mind back at the stadium!

Word to the struggle, b. we cool. but there are some other sharks circling the water looking to truly test the don. lemme show 'em some of the faces of the last cats who wanted it with me...

Yeah, thanks for editing out my segment as well.

I left room for the forthcoming mainvent. I'll make the booking thread for next week's show after AM is posted whenever that may be, I know most cats have multiple matches so, you know what it is. The absolute latest I'd like to post that show is Tuesday.

dont call the opening, b well true story rite here..if i got a beek wit a nikka i aint gonna do no talkin..imma just run to pappy and straight snuff em..POW POW POW 3 shots in da cerebellum. i mean i'm a pretty ass nikka no homo but i still get in it cause i dont take that shit,b i do fuckin time if thats my word but time dont do me now just this week i aint gonna lie..sum niggas got me for my chain monday!! about 3 or 4 jerry garcia lookin niggas came at me when i was at bohdi tree pimpin on them hippy lookin whitegirls no hetero...i was swinging and shit but nikkas was 2 bigg no homo...sum big ol crusty viscera lookin nigga had me in a full nelson and they just lifted my chain but its all good cause i know where these niggas stay at...and imma get my niggas and we gon get my shit back b ....true story rite there i mean tru story next time when i slap box a nigga imma tell boy boy "ayo this the beats lil nigga" no homo....and he recognize real niggas

post show entertainment lol at the sonning of Richard jefferson

THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD As Ultimate Victory plays the opening video rolls, highlighting the adrenaline-charged, mile per minute action OAOAST HeldDOWN has become famous far, while showcasing several of its primary superstars. We're moved into a sold out arena where thousands of Fresnonian fans have come to witness their favorite OAOAST superstars. A soft orange spotlight hangs over the ring, providing illumination to an otherwise darkened arena. Standing in front of this ring are Johnathan Coachman and Michael Cole, each dressed in Anglemania t-shirts AND the offical Anglemania tracksuit. COLE Folks, welcome to the final edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN before Anglemania! And I can't remember a time where I've been this excited about a pay per view before. How about you Coach? COACH I'm with you, Mikey. This year's Anglemania is gonna be off the charts, and it's gonna be in front of our biggest audience yet, in the Coliseum in Los Angeles. Even the roman gladiators couldn't have imagined something so big and so amazing in there day. If you ain't placed the order yet, you a damn fool. COLE I'll say! But, right now let's get HeldDOWN started! Cold, Cold, Cold But leaving me Hot, Hot, Hot (cuh-huh-hold) Cold, Cold, Cold But leaving me Hot, Hot, Hot (cuh-huh-hold) Girls just want Sex and money[/i] The bombastic break beats and airy vocals of Paul Oakenfold's Sex and Money burst too life with the vibrant power of a supernova. Next to the heavy bass rhythm lies the anger of the crowd, made that way by the emergence of Mackenzie's sensual yet “greed” laced Angletron. Between the broadcasted images of the seductions of beauty and money, stands the human embodiment of that theme Mackenzie DeCenzo. Though dressed down in heavily flared jeans, and tight white t-shirt decorated by floral embroidery on the chest, Mackenzie still cuts an impressive figure. She tilts her head back as if bathing in the ecstasy bringing flow of cash that rains down in her video, and runs her hands across her neck like that money was the most pleasuring of lovers. COLE And this is not who I expected HeldDOWN to start off with tonight. Mackenzie''s girlfriend, Alix Maria Spezia will face her former lover Krista Isadora Duncan at Anglemania this weekend from their home city Los Angeles! Mackenzie struts down the ramp, holding her head high against the aggression of every jeer thrown at her. On the ring apron, Mackie attaches one hand to the rope, while the other one waves to the less then admiring audience. Finally she ducks beneath the second and first rope, and enters the ring where a microphone awaits her. MACKENZIE Good evening, Fresno! “MONEYMAKER'S WHORE! MONEYMAKER'S WHORE!” MACKENZIE That's not very nice at all! But I'm not going to dwell on your poor manners, because there's something else that's captured my attention. And if you all would look a few miles down the highway it might capture your's also. See it? You don't have to look hard to spot it. Its that gigantic structure, packed with over one hundred thousand screaming lunatics. That's the memorial Coliseum and all those screams are dedicated to Anglemania Seven. Yes, another Anglemania is upon us, and I'm sure you the loyal fanbase have made certain to scramble every penny you could find beneath your couches and, neglected any bills that wouldn't result in your immediate eviction, so you would have enough money to place the call to your cable or satellite operator and order Anglemania! Finally, after three months of a despairing humdrum, middle class lifestyle, you get to live vicariously through the lives of people millions of times your better. Isn't that wonderful? But, I'll make you aware of this, four people no one will be living through are MARV, MEL, Baron and Jock. Unless they're so sadistic they just sort of enjoy living out their fantasies of suffering through a prolonged beating. Because that's exactly what The Enterprise has planned for them at Anglemania. Fresno, Anglemania will not open with an eight person tag match. It will open with the brutal destruction of the Christ Air Express, and The Lonestar Gunslinger. The camera pans around the audience to capture shots of people giving thumbs down to Mackenzie's prediction. MACKENZIE But, I'm not actually out here to waste anyone's time pointing out the obvious and inevitable. I just wanted to make our more naive TV watching public more aware of the inevitable. Just a friendly PSA from your friends in The Enterprise. “BOOOOOOO!” MACKENZIE Boooo? Am I really supposed to get upset by booing on the eve of the greatest weekend of my adult life? Do you honestly think common jeers could knock me off the cloud I'll be floating on this weekend? How could anything you say take away from the joy I'll experience when Alix knocks Krista out the OAOAST, off her throne, and becomes the true queen of Los Angeles. You all will be holed up in your little hovels in here Fresno. Mud huts, twig houses, whatever primal societies construct their homes out of, gathered around the TV, unable to take your eyes off the true battle of LA. But, I'll already be celebrating because an Enterprise sweep is as I said inevitable. And what will all you sniveling little ass kissers do without Krista to marvel over? I do not know, and frankly I couldn't care less! You're sadness is going to be Alix's pleasure because she will finally have her freedom from this emotionally draining, soulless, bitch! This woman who's monstrous behavior has driven my baby to such low, horrible places. Your lives may be all the worse without Krista around, but mine will only keep getting better. “BOOOOOOO!” MACKENIZE And there's those booos again, and here's my not caring again. You see what you did you made me go off on tangent! I didn't want to talk about Krista, Alix, or any other member of The Enterprise. Because with all the chaos, hubbub, and hype given to Krista and Alix's showdown, we're neglecting someone. Someone who's honestly been neglected from the moment she left Krista's demon womb. My old Enterprise associate, Jade Rodez. Jade its been so long since you and I had girl to girl chat. Much, much too long as a matter of fact. And because I am partially responsible for your life being reduced into total misery, perhaps it might be a good idea if we had a pow-wow. Mackenzie closes her eyes and smiles with total insincerity, while extending her hands to the entrance ramp. The high aggression twang of Date With The Night combines with Jade's flashy girl-punk inspired entrance video to welcome Krista's eldest onto the scene. The fans meet her with a warm ovation, but Jade fails to offer a response. Her focus remains on Mackenzie, exuding hatred and distrust. COLE Jade Rodez is someone we haven't heard from a lot since Moneymaker's announcement at Leap Year Spectacular. And there's no remorse from the goons in the Enterprise. They just think she's collateral damage. Jade's disdainful glares show no affect on Mackenzie. The Money Honey continues to welcome Jade towards her disingenuous kindness. Staunching retaining her guarded skepticism, J-Ro slides her grey track pants through the ropes. Her hands fall into the pockets of her cotton candy pink trakcsuit and she impatiently nods to Mackenzie to begin speaking. MACKENZIE Jade, Jade, Jade. Young lady, you live in an age were famous people like your mother can have it all! Six figure fees just to show up, palatial hotel suites in any city in the globe, block long limos, mansions, and a new girlfriend every Chinese calendar month. Wondering where Mackenzie is going with all those, Jade just rolls her eyes. MACKENZIE But you aren't anything like your mother, are you now? You get a three figure fee to sign autograph for sixteen people at a used car dealership in Toldeo, your palatial hotel suite is a super 8 who's water runs brown, your block long limo is 1999 For Escort, your mansion is your grandparents basement in Grand Rapids, and your new lover is a cover of Teen Beat with Zac Effron on the cover. Face it Jade Rodez your mother is an infinitely famous queen of celebrity, and you're just a small town dreg destined to be grow into one of those anonymous little blue haired old ladies, on the edge of her seat during the final seconds of price is right. That comment pulls Jade's hands out of her pockets and into fists that yearn to level Mackenzie. MACKENZIE I completely abhor your mother and everything she stands for but at least spends her days collecting on the vast rewards and power her ego tells her she deserves. What do you do? Play the straight woman for Uncle Leon's second grade level quips. Hand hold two twinks with the intelligence of second graders, and guide them to the absolute heights of mediocrity? Before we knew that you Krista's daughter, you were just a regular old disappointment. Another mindless tool to waste company funds with your useless but mostly harmless existence. But now that we know the truth, suddenly your ineptitude looks a lot worse, doesn't it. Compared to your mother, Jade, you are a horrible, abject failure. And you always will be! Unable to stomach the repeated barbs of Mackenzie, Jade's cool falls away and sends her screaming at her taunting villain. But, Mackie welcomes the charge by dropping to her stomach and coiling her legs around Jade's ankles. And a quick twist of her tennis shoes allows Mackenzie to send Jade dropping to the canvas. Right as J-Ro's face smacks off the mats Mackenzie is back on her feet, her fetching face spewing more insults towards the Grand Rapids native. Into the ring slides Earl Hebner, no doubt sent out by The Enterprise, and the bell rings sounding off this contest. COLE Its looks like we've got an impromptu match between Mackenzie DeCenzo and Jade Rodez! A bit of an opening act to our huge Anglemania match between Alix and Krista. “WE WANT KRISTA! WE WANT KRISTA!” Glancing through the fingers that nurse her sore face, Krista's eldest daughter stares with flaming rage at Mackenzie. Once again her emotions send her towards Mackenzie, and she stretches her arm for a lariat. However the blow was fired much too wildly, and Mackenzie has no trouble in ducking beneath it. Jade goes screeching past her rival but is soon held into place by the tight tug Mackenzie holds on her jacket. Within moments Jade's tiny body is being violently flung backwards. There's a worried cry from the audience and a terrible chuckle from Mackenzie as they watch Jade's head snap off the mat in the must brutal of fashion. COLE Come on, Jade! Get up and take it to Mackenzie! Mackenzie's long legs stretch over Jade's body, as her eyes look disgustingly upon her whimpering foe. She stretches down and takes a clump of Jade's curled blond hair into her hands. With a firm grip on J-Ro's locks, the vile siren roughly guides her away from the mat. Mackenzie drags her victim into the corner, trailed by the boos of the crowd. One cruel swipe plants Jade's face into the poorly padded turnbuckles and has her emitting sharp cries of pain. The nineteen year old topples to the floor, where her hands immediately reach towards her nose to protect it from further beating. COACH If Krista were any kind of mother, wouldn't she be here to protect her kid? COLE Krista hasn't even arrived to the arena yet, Coach. Which is why its so safe for Mackenzie to do the things she just did. After letting out a sickening laugh worthy of Mister Moneymaker, Mackenzie sinks to her knees to pin Jade. Hebner counts the fall.. ONE! TWO! Jade's shoulder lifts itself off the mat, and with it comes applause from the sold out audience. Quickly Mackie rolls back upright. She throws her silky hair back in frustration, and impatiently waits for J-Ro to rise. Once the young Michigander groggily gets off the canvas, the Money Honey pounces on her. She lifts her rival's skinny figure off the mat then unceremoniously dumps her back to the ground with a body slam. “JADE! JADE! JADE!” the audience sings. Even with the chants off the audience ringing loudly and clearly, Jade hasn't the strength or the will to pick her battered bones up. Thus its with dazed vision that she watches her grinning foe ascend to the top turnbuckle. The fans mood shifts from one of support for Jade to one of disdain for Mackenzie, and they pray she falls to her demise. Its with considerable patience that Mackenzie waits for D*LUX's manager to stand. But its patience that yields a hefty payoff, she dismounts her nest with a crossbody block and slams herself right into Jade. The young diva drops to the mat with all the grace of the boulder, as Mackenzie's shapely body rolls right over her. Giving Jade no time to reclaim her breath, Mackie hastily drapes her body across her's for another fall... ONE! TWO! Jade rips her body off the canvas, and rushes upright. As Mackie stands to join her, she's greeted by a pair of thudding elbow strikes that leave her badly dazed. With the Californian out on her feet, Jade is able to carry herself to the ropes. When she rebounds to her rival, she extends her thin arm out and lacerates Mackenzie with a crowd pleasing lariat! Once again Jade lets the madness overcome and angrily orders Mackenzie off the mat. Once Mackie follows the harsh directions, Jade rushes to the ropes. On her return she drops her shoulders like a rampaging bull in hopes of achieving a spear. Unfortunately for Jade, her attack was far too telegraphed and Mackenzie catches her arrival with a DDT! Neck spiked off the canvas, Jade lets out a lengthy cry before finally flopping onto her back. So consumed by the anguish in her neck, she fails to stop Mackenzie from latching onto her grey warm up pants. And seconds later Jade is hurled through the skies courtesy of Mackenzie's slingshot. As Jade is incapable of bracing herself for impact its her chest that suffers through a brutal collision with the ringposts. COACH If she were anything like her mother she'd have the common sense to have *ahem* enhancements in that area to guard against those kinds of moves. COLE Yeah, I'm sure that's the exact reason Krista got those in. Jade stumbles free of the corner, her youthful face glossed over by a weary exhaustion. But she steels her will against her tiredness and readies a fist to crash into Mackie's face. But Moneymaker's right hand woman strikes first and strikes hard, smacking her in the jaw with an open palm. Knocked off balanced by the staggering blow, Jade is rendered defenseless. Thus she's easily victimized by a trio of kicks that strike against her ribcage. Cutting short her kicking flurry, Mackenzie rears her fist back and launches into left a hook. This time Jade has the wherewithal to duck. The intelligent counter affords her some good luck, as Mackie wildly careens off her tennis shoes. Jade leaps forward and in a single fluid motion, pulls Mackenzie down with a neckbreaker! “YEAAAAA!” Mackenzie's quick and angered ascension off the canvas makes the neckbreaker little more then a moral victory. Tilting her body to the side, Jade throws her foot towards Mackenzie's stomach. But the black hearted diva catches hold of Jade's leg, and begins a cruel snickering at the misfortune she's soon to deliver. Jade tries to delay Mackie's vile plan with an enizguri. However with her gold locks flying through the air, Mackenzie sweeps her head bellow the kick. Jade manages to land on her feet, but that small accomplishment is wasted by a side russian leg sweep from Mackenzie. Smiling at the damage she's wrought, Mackie hooks Jade's leg for another fall.. ONE! TWO! Jade's kick out immediately downturns Mackenzie's smile into an aggrieved frown. Eager to exercise her mounting frustrations on Jade, the loathsome lady tightens her foe into an inverted dragon sleeper. Her entire head engulfed by Mackenzie's arm, Jade begins whimpering beneath the powerful strain of the basic submission hold. COLE This is certainly shocking! I don't think we'd ever expect to see Mackenzie DeCenzo actually show some technical know how, but her wrestling has truly been above par in this match. COACH Should that surprise you? If you're dating a girl who hasn't been pinned in two years, you're bound to pick up enough skill to at least be a multitime HI-YAH world champ...if that belt existed. Hey, what happened? Didn't we use to have sixteen titles that were never defended on TV and not six? Jade continues screaming in agony, leading the crowd to take up her cause with chants and applause. Deeply bothered by the crowd's gift of support, Mackenzie shouts at them for immediate silence. However they only grow louder, and Jade is able to call upon their strength to begin an escape effort. Her short legs launch themselves with great force towards Mackie's face. And though the first two strikes do little to earn her freedom, Jade's persistence pays off and the third and fourth attacks win her escape bid. Unfortunately, she hasn't a second to mount a suitable attack, before a recovered Miss DeCenzo scoops her onto her shoulders. Jade's furious kicking and bucking against her rival's clutches yield little results and Mackenzie successfully drives her back first into the corner. Jade hollers out in agony. “OOOOOH!” the crowd cringes in sympathy pain. COACH Seriously, there ain't no excuse for Krista to not be at this arena bright and early. Her big mouth makes enemies out of everyone in this company. Her daughter is gonna be a target from here until forever. I'm surprised it took so long for someone to go after her like this. The chesty Californian smiles ruefully, backs away from her screaming victim, then thrusts her shoulder forward. Somehow, Jade is able to dodge the strike by fliping backwards, latching onto the waist of Mackenzie's jeans and pulling her down into a pinfall! Numerous fans head to their feet to count along with this unexpected pinfall.. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! Disappointment sags the crowd back to their seats with Mackenzie's kickout. Jawing with the now booing audience members, Mackenzie fails to notice Jade's trek to the ropes. However as a pair of workout pants come sweeping towards her midsection Mackenzie is suddenly aware of the situation. She clumsily catches Jade's legs within her arms, but can't hold her there for long before the heir to Krista's fortune lifts her body into wheelbarrow bulldog position. However, Mackenzie uses an impressive amount of strength to hold Jade aloft by her waist, while her free arm works to begin a chicken wing. After pinning one of Jade's shoulder's down its an easy task to trap the other to apply her dreaded submission hold. COLE Maybe hooking up with Alix has done wonders for Mackenzie's wrestling ability. Congratulations, for the first time in your life, you've been right about something. Long horrible screams drip from Jade's mouth, matched only in intensity by the gritted teeth on Mackenzie's reddened face. Jade's whole insides burn with fire as the pain and misery collides together into an almost unbearable sensation. Her head repeats a disturbing pattern of sagging forward to be draped by her frizzled hair, then shooting back up to put forth another agonized shout. Feeling her grip weaken just a tad, Mackenzie lowers her body towards the ring to try and maintain a center of gravity. But that strategy can't save her submission hold and soon Jade is able to break free with a parade of elbows aimed at the side of her face. The blows didn't inflict much damage on Mackenzie and she flourishes forward with a lariat. But, Jade angles her body bellow the attack and winds up behind Mackenzie. Reaching her hands over her shoulder, Jade grabs onto Mackenzie's neck and drives her down to the mat with a neckbreaker! “J-RO! J-RO! J-RO!” Gazing about the arena with determined vigor, Jade incites the crowd to cheers by pointing at the turnbuckle. COACH What a poor, poor, poor imitation of her mother Jade is. Krista wouldn't have just pointed to the turnbuckle. Krista would've done ten pirouettes and finished off with jazz hands to the turnbuckle. You got a long way to go, kid. As she nods her head to their receptive response, J-Ro (or is it J-Du now?) glides herself through the ropes. She rises to the top turnbuckle, while her Mackie picks her sore bones off the canvas. Mackenzie's easy recovery prompts the fans to urge Jade to be quick about executing her attack. She heeds their advice and departs the ropes with legs stretched into a dropkick. By the time Mackenzie realizes Jade is nosediving to her position, her shoes are crashing through her face! Accompanied by the shout of the crowd, the money honey is flung to the ground. Mackenzie lands with a thud, the wind clearly ripped out her. Jade then hooks Mackenzie's leg for a pin... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! The ref's hand is centimeters away from its third trip to the mat, but Mackenzie halts it with a kickout. The Fresno crowd is devastated and loudly lets their disgust be known. COACH Do these people have no state pride? Mackenzie is a Californian just like you! Cheer her! It figures though. In a state with Los Angeles, Anaheim, San Diego, San Fransisco, San Jose, Oakland, Long Beach and Sacramento, who the hell remembers Fresno even exists? These people have an inferiority complex! Jade heads to her feet and churlishly demands Mackenzie do the same. Once she does, Jade strikes out at her stomach with a swipe of her elbow. Smiling with the same evil look that possessed Mackenzie earlier, Jade then snaps her adversary into a front facelock. “It's over!” Jade shouts, raising her free arm in the air in triupmh. COACH Its over? Do you think you'd ever see her mother utter such cliched bullcrap? For Pete's sake the woman's finisher is named after a catchphrase of a deceased coke head! I demand a DNA test! Unfortunately for Jade, Mackenzie has regained her errant strength. And she's uses it to tighten her arms around her foe's skinny waist. Jade is brought into the air against her will, and her front facelock is shattered when the money honey violently shoves her backwards. The counter doesn't dampen Jade's spirits and she comes darting back towards Miss DeCenzo with her elbow raised. However, Mackenzie coyly waits for Jade's approach, and once it comes, she sweeps behind her to trap her into a full nelson. But Jade frustrates the former 24/7 champ by quickly spinning out the hold. Unfortunately she receives a knee to the midsection from an enraged Mackenzie in retribution. Jade spurts out a sound of discomfort, a little cry as a second stroke hits home. Automatically she tries to escape from the source of her pain. But her efforts are for naught as Makckenzie's arm finds its way around her neck. Any routes to escape are indefinitely blocked off when the detested diva traps Jade's leg with her other hand. In spite of her continued struggles to fight free of her bonds, J-Ro is hoisted into the sky. Mackenzie pauses to allow the crowd to boo the forthcoming doom she's laid out for Jade. Once the crowd's hate reaches its highest point, Mackie drops Jade directly on her neck with a fisherman's buster! COACH I take it back. I think she could at least aspire to world title contender at this point. The dejected audience stares on in empty silence while Mackenzie chuckles to herself as she hooks the leg for a fall... ONE! TWO! THREE!! COLE Damn it! The silence is busted apart by a damning round of boos and jeers. Though no hatred on this earth can keep Mackenzie away from basking in the glory of besting Krista's child. Sex and Money joins with Mackenzie's boasting grin to celebrate over the vanquished figure of Jade. COACH Like mother not like daughter. Ol' Jade Ro may be Krista's kid in blood but she ain't in personality, and attitude. I ain't never seen Krista on the wrong side of the pin. And I mean that as literally as possible. Mackenzie on the other hand picks right up on the winning traditions of Alix. There's a reason Mackenzie is part of a stable that boasts eight One and Only World tag title reigns and Jade manages a team that “boasts” three HI-YAH tag title reigns. Smelly bitch, you stay losing! Buffer stands up to offer make Mackenzie's win an official one. BUFFER The winner of this match as a result of a pinfall....MACKENZIE DECENZO! Mackenzie's frigid blue eyes shoot down to the source of that proclamation. The second she spots the vacated chair its as if a curtain is drawn over her face, obscuring any satisfaction she once broascasted. The smile has disappeared from her face and eyes, to be replaced by a hardened glint of malice. Eyes never once leaving the chair, Mackenize makes an abrupt slide beneath the ropes. COACH Not only can Moneymaker scout keen business minds, he also has an eye for great athletes. In an arena of thousands Coach is the only one who isn't aware of the Money Honey's treacherous plot. Those who do notice curse her with deadly amount of venom. But does Mackenzie care? Not even in the slightest as she gathers the folded chair into her hands. COLE No! This isn't right! These Enterprise jerks are continually crossing the line! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” the fans sing, waiting for the arrival of their homestate heroine. With no Krista on the horizon, Mackenzie's formerly stoic face is allowed a return to its prideful beaming. Her contemptible smile widens even further when a second chair comes into her possession. COLE What is she going to do with that? COACH This is hilarious! If Krista so much as chips nail she has nearly twenty people rushing to her aid. Her daughter's about to get her skull caved in and no one gives a hoot. No one besides the audience that is, who give more then just a hoot with their mixture of cursing Mackenzie and urging Krista's appearance. Mackie is roundly perturbed by their comments and verbally matches their anger as she kicks one chair across the ring beneath Jade's face. COLE No! Please, someone do something. COACH Where's Ol Uncle Leon? “I'll always be there for you. You're still my family.” Ol chumpy chump ass chickenshit. You gots no balls, kid. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Holding the other chair in her hands, like a baseball player heading towards the plate from the on deck circle, Mackenzie closes the distance between her and Jade. Each step brightens the sadistic joy in Mackenzie's mind as she envisions Jade's blood splattered across her weapon. COACH Up the chair goes, and down it comes, right- Into Krista's hands?! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” Horror. Dread. Dismay. Fright. Fear. Terror. All very good adjectives to describe Mackenzie's emotional state with her bezerk weapon wielding archrival inches from her. I prefer scared out her fucking mind, however. Krista's appearance brings about an ear splitting roar from every last member of the audience. And as if it were possible that pop only gets louder when they see the chair angled above Mackenzie head like a scimitar. DIAMOND CUTTER BY ALIX! Perhaps subconsciously in tuned to Alix's movements, Krista succeeds in shoving Alix away from her latest sneak attack. Unlike Mackenzie, the chair in Krista's hands inspires no feelings of trepidation within Alix's heart. Instead Alix glares at Krista with an offsetting smile. Its not the smile that Krista adored during twelve years of friendship and love. This is a deranged smile, the look of someone who's lost all attachment with reality. And its currently begging Krista to wind up and take her best shot. Yet, Krista is reluctant, wanting nothing to do with inflicting the same anguish Mackenzie had for Jade on her ex-love. But Alix continues to invite, hysterically swaying back and forth on her heels, her eyes displaying tortured delirium. The fans are at first torn between their two California girls, but find the will to chose a side in the battle of the Golden Staters. COLE This is what it will be like in Los Angeles, only a billion times louder. Bring ear plugs, Coach! Right as it seems situation has mellowed into a least an uneasy calm, Mackenzie goes for blood. Before Krista can even hear the warnings of the crowd, she brings the other steel chair into Miss California's back. Krista feels a rib crack and gasps as she sinks to her knee. Alix's fiance swings again, and knocks all the wind out her body. Faint groans of agony seep between the tremor of boos, as a third, then a fourth and finally a fifth plants Krista totally onto the mat. COLE Why? Why do we allow The Enterprise to go about with their low blows, and dirty tactics? Someone has to do something! Hatred blazes throughout Mackenzie's eyes, but the image of Krista lying beaten next to her equally battered daughter is too perfect an image. As such she casually discards her chair, with the satisfaction of the knowledge that Krista's end comes this Sunday. Alix is now expressionless, left stunned by the reckless violence of her girlfriend and the wrathful voices of the audience. She's only motivated to movement by Mackenzie's gentle guiding that pulls her from the ring. Together they retreat up the ramp, each staring back at the beaten mother and daughter with widely varying emotions. COLE Will be saying Mackenzie raising Alix's in triumph at Anglemania, or will Krista use this incident to fuel her victory? COMMERCIAL

Backstage we see Mister Moneymaker sitting with Mackenzie on the leather couch in The Enterprise dressing room. MONEYMAKER Brilliant. You were brilliant out there! MACKENZIE Thank you. MONEYMAKER The whole..the whole thing was a million different strokes of brilliance. I'm a hard man to leave speechless. You didn't do it, but you came close. BWHAHAHHA! Oh, the match, its what I wanted to see along. Krista's heart torn apart without us even touching her. And what a victory. What a victory for my Enterprise. Brought to me by a woman, who I never knew could do something like that. MACKENZIE I even amaze myself. I'm standing here in retrospective awe. This is where I really wish Alix's time machine was more then fruity pebbles box, a back issue of Black Tail magazine and some moldy Jack In the Box French fries, because I'd love to go back in time, and just kick back, relax, and watch my masterpiece. MONEYMAKER If I had known you could do things like that, I'd have dumped Christian as my partner months ago! Only kidding, of course. Though it would save me some change come payday. BWAHAHHAA! And the chair to Krista's back? I haven't wanted to be a chair so badly in my life. To be the one that brought her to her knees. Yes, marvelous. If only you could've done it last week during our match. MACKENZIE The opportunity never presented itself. MONEYMAKER It was a twenty minute match. I believe over the course of those 1,200 seconds that there must have been perhaps forty or fifty seconds you could have wacked her with the chair. MACKENZIE There's a lot more that goes into hitting someone with a chair then you think. Its not batting cages, you don't just wait for a human head to come flying at you and swing. Its like duck hunt. The old videogame. You played duck hunt. MONEYMAKER But, you just point and shoot the duck. MACKENZIE But you wait! You wait for the duck to emerge and you shoot. And sometimes you get a duck, sometimes you get a lot of ducks, and sometimes you don't get any. MONEYMAKER I never not got a duck. In fact, I imagine you have to be rather awful at life to not get a duck. MACKENIZE There were times when I never got a duck, am I awful at life? MONEYMAKER Frankly, yes, if you never got a duck. BWAHAHAHHA! But, that's neither here nor there. What's here, or soon to be here is Anglemania. And with it comes Krista against Alix. And what I want to know is how ready is your girlfriend? MACKENZIE What do you mean? MONEYMAKER Don't play the fool with me, unlike most women, you're too smart to pull it off. I'm not blind, nor I am ignorant. I control every minute detail of that girl's life. I see the forest for the trees, and I walk with well earned wisdom. This wisdom tells me, that all is not perfect with the cogs of my finely tuned master plan to destroy Krista. This wisdom tell me that things are beginning to go disastrously awry. Read. Moneymaker passes Mackenzie today's LA Times from the coffee table MACKENZIE (reading) Alix's family is not happy about her refusal to enter a drug treatment facility. They claim that the UCLA Medical Center let Spezia go after the popstar refused to enter treatment, even though the psychiatrist speaking with her wanted he girl to be hospitalized. Roxanne and Sergio Spezia released the following statement late Wednesday evening. "As parents of an adult child in the throws of a mental health and drug addiction crisis, we were extremely disappointed this morning to learn that over the recommendation of her treating psychiatrist, our daughter Alix was granted her request to not enter the hospital that could best care for her and keep her safe. We are deeply concerned about our daughter's safety and vulnerability and we believe her life is presently at risk. There are conservatorship orders in place created to protect our daughter that are being blatantly disregarded. We ask that court orders be enforced so that a tragedy may be averted Mackenzie discards the paper onto the table and sighs solemnly MONEYMAKER Well, where shall I start? Perhaps with thinking up how I'm going to explain to my family why I've embarrassed the Moneymaker name by taking in this dyke druggie and trying to use to destroy a woman who has embarrassed me and foiled my every last scheme. I guess I should think about how I'm going to ever look my father in the eyes again without feeling like his judgmental disappointed stare is burrowing right into my soul! My future fortune hinges on her CD! My legacy as a man rides on the end of Krista Isadora Duncan! If that does not come to fruition at Anglemania, I will be worth dirt. The sands an hour glass will hold as much value as me. Because I'll have been humiliated! Is hope lost? Yes, maybe it is. “Court orders be enforced.” Her actual parents coming out and saying she has a drug problem! Good lord! And didn't the father serve thirteen years for intent to sell? This is hell. This is hell. MACKENZIE This isn't hell. MONEYMAKER This bears a reasonable resemblance to it! What have I done? What have I done? What have I hinged my entire life on? She is a trojan horse sent by god to ruin me! She can barely walk, she can barely stand up straight! She'll die quick, she'll die fast, she'll die young. But I'll still be here, left to bear the shame of my horrible error in judgment. Moneymaker falls onto the table and smashes his fist into it out of uncontrollable sorrow. MACKENZIE I don't blame you for being worried or afraid. But, you once had faith in me. Have it again. Know that for the life of me, I wouldn't dare let Krista stand in Los Angeles anything but a beaten, degraded and destroyed woman. Nothing would give me greater joys then her suffering in the worst way imaginable. Krista's will be ended at Anglemania, Alix's CD will bring you riches and power in the industry, and your dreams and so much more will be realized. I promise you. Mackenzie smiles reassuringly enough that Moneymaker lifts himself off the table and composes himself. "THE C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-CORP-CORPORA-CORPORATION" “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The crowd immediately stands up and starts booing, quite loudly, I might add. The opening to “No Chance In Hell” plays over the P.A. system. The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation entrance video plays on the AngleTron. Smoke fills the entrance stage. The crescendo hits, and then a HUGE burst of pyro explodes over the entrance stage. “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds starts playing causing the crowd to boo louder than before. *No chance (No chance) That’s what ya got! (Ha! Ha! Yeah.) We’re up against no machine too strong (Too strong) Pussy politicians buying souls for us are…PUPPETS! (Puppets!)* The entrance doors slide open, and Stephen Joseph Popick steps out, wearing his eyeglasses, a black turtleneck, a tan sports jacket, an expensive watch on his right wrist, his wedding ring on his right ring finger, black dress pants with a leather belt to hold them up, and black dress shoes. Popick holds the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his right shoulder. The crowd boos, but Popick ignores them and orders the rest of his Corporation to come out, which they do. First, Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, in her wrestling gear, then Vitamin X, then Princess Stacey, then Cuban Wall, followed by Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug, Spanish Fly, Rock Hard Brickston, and last but not least, Thomas Rodriguez. The members of the SJPC all stand on the entrance stage for a few seconds and look at each other with serious expressions on their faces, all of them in their wrestling gear. Stephen Joseph gives the order, and the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation members walk down the entrance ramp, looking directly at the ring. *But will find their place in line But tie a string around your finger now boy cuz it’s just a matter of time Cuz you’ve got…NO CHANCE! (You’ve got no chance!) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You’ve got…NO CHANCE! (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You’ve got…NO CHANCE! (Got no chance!) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You’ve got…NO CHANCE! (Chance!) NO CHANCE IN HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!* *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is The Corporate Gauntlet, where the match will continue until either Tha Puerto Rican has defeated all 9 wrestlers, OR one of the wrestlers either pins Tha Puerto Rican or makes him submit. Introducing first. Coming to the ring at this time. Being led to the ring by the leader of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation and the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion Stephen Joseph Popick. At a total combined weight of 1,825 lbs. Vitamin X, Princess Stacey, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, Spanish Fly, Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, The Bone Thug, Rock Hard Brickston, and Thomas Rodriguez…THE STEPHEN JOSEPHHHHHHHHHH POPPIIICCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK CORRPPPORATTTTTIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation members continue their walk to the ring. COLE We are just 72 hours away from the biggest show of the year, AngleMania, and it will be headlined by the biggest main event in AngleMania history, Tha Puerto Rican vs. Stephen Joseph Popick. Tha Puerto Rican will be going for his first World Title against his former manager and “Career Consultant” Stephen Joseph Popick one-on-one this Sunday night at AngleMania VII! COACH You forget one thing, Cole! Vitamin X is the Special Guest Referee! COLE That’s right, unfortunately. Vitamin X will be the Special Guest Referee for the OAOAST Title Match this Sunday, COACH Oh yeah! And trust me, he won’t be the biased official that Tha Puerto Rican was 2 weeks ago in the Women’s Title Match which saw Lindsay lose her Title! COLE Oh brother. *Come on! Come on! Come and get it! (Come and get it!) Come on! (Come on!) Come on! Come on! Come and get it! (Come and get it!) Come on! (Come on!) Come on! Come on! Come and get it! (Come and get it!) Come on! (Come on!) Come on! Come on! Come and get it! No chance…(Yeah.)* COLE This is one last challenge, one final obstacle for Tha Puerto Rican to overcome before this Sunday. Stephen Joseph Popick making this match after last week’s HeldDOWN~!, trying to soften the challenger to his Title before they collide in the L.A. Coliseum in just 3 days! A Corporate Gauntlet. PRL must beat every wrestler that he used to call his friend in order to win this match! COACH Another brilliant match from the mind of Stephen Joseph Popick! Put all of the Corporation against P.R.! Punish him so bad that he’ll be 50%--no--30% on Sunday night! HA! HA! HA! BRILLIANT, STEPHEN! BRILLIANT! COLE Some might say that Popick is doing this because he’s worried about his match with Tha Puerto Rican this Sunday. COACH And those people are what I like to call idiots. Next. Stephen Joseph Popick climbs up the ring steps. Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick then climbs up the ring steps so that she can hold the ring ropes for her husband to enter the ring. She then follows her husband into the ring, and the rest of the SJPC soon enter the ring too. Stephen Joseph raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head with an evil smile on his face to a chorus of boos from the fans. COLE That’s what it’s all about this Sunday! The OAOAST World Heavyweight Title is on the line in the main event of AngleMania VII! Over 100,000 fans will fill the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum to watch PRL and Popick battle it out for the richest prize in our industry! COACH With Vitamin X as the Special Guest Referee! COLE Ugh. Popick taunts the fans, and then slings the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his right shoulder. Spotlights shine on the Corporation members inside of the ring. They all stand in the center of the ring. Together, all ten members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation make a “C” with their arms. The Corporate Salute! The crowd boos louder than before. The Corporation members laugh all evilly as “No Chance In Hell” continues playing. COACH Look at the Corporation! They are READY! They are ready for tonight, and they are ready for Popick to finish the job once and for all at AngleMania! It is going to be a great next few days for the Corporation! A 4 day weekend if you will! COLE Sunday night will either be the greatest night in the FIVE YEAR history of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation…or the absolute worst. COACH I’m leaning on the former for once, Michael. The lights go back on in the arena. Stephen Joseph Popick, Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, Vitamin X, Princess Stacey, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug, Spanish Fly, Rock Hard Brickston and Thomas Rodriguez all stand in the ring, taunting the fans, gloating over their accomplishments, and mugging for the camera. Stephen Joseph gives the SJPC members orders in the ring. COLE Stephen Joseph Popick will be at ringside. He will be the ONLY Corporation member NOT competing in this match-up. He’s got PRL this Sunday at AngleMania VII. COACH After the Corporation gets done with him, there might not be much of Tha Puerto Rican left! Popick might win the match this Sunday by forfeit! HA! HA! COLE I don’t know about that. PRL is a fighter, and I’m sure that he will fight tonight and he will fight at AngleMania VII! COACH That doesn’t sound like Tha Puerto Rican that I know! COLE He’s changed, Coach. He really has! COACH Uh-huh. Sure. *NO CHANCE! (You’ve got no chance!) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You’ve got…NO CHANCE! (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You’ve got…NO CHANCE! (Got no chance!) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You’ve got…NO CHANCE! (Chance!) NO CHANCE IN HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! YEAH!* “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds ends. The SJPC members all stand in the ring discussing strategy. The crowd buzzes in anticipation for Tha Puerto Rican’s entrance. COLE 9 wrestlers PRL must overcome, but only 7 of them have any real in-ring experience. Still, PRL will fight every Corporation member aside from Stephen Joseph tonight! COACH Unless one of them beats him first. Then they win The Corporate Gauntlet. COLE Right. COACH Yeah. We had The Lightning Crew Gauntlet that Tha Puerto Rican orchestrated four years ago to try and prevent The Mad Cappa from getting to him. But that Gauntlet took place over the course of two months. THIS Gauntlet is going to be taking place all in one night, and unlike The Mad Cappa, Tha Puerto Rican won't be able to run through the whole thing! Turnabout's fairplay, P.R.! Karma is going to get you here tonight live on HeldDOWN~! The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation all stand in a circle in the middle of the ring. They continue discussing strategy. COLE Tha Puerto Rican set to do battle with 9 of his former allies in one match! The Corporate Gauntlet is about to begin! The crowd chants for PRL. Stephen Joseph Popick looks to the entrance. “THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP…” *DUN DUN* “…IS…” *DUN* “…HERE!” “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and “Know Your Role 2000” begins playing, with the crowd standing up and cheering loudly. The lights go down in the arena. PR is heard saying, “THE CHAMP IS HERE!” in tune with the beat of the song, while smoke fills the entrance stage and spotlights circle around and around the arena. A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and Tha Puerto Rican quickly saunters out through the smoke and power walks down the entrance ramp to the ring, not stopping at all, keeping his eyes focused on the ring. The crowd cheers louder than before. BUFFER And their opponent. Coming to the ring at this time. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 220 lbs. He is one-half of The Badd Boyz. He is THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Tha Puerto Rican continues his walk to the ring. COLE The fans coming to life here in Fresno, but can you imagine the reaction that he’ll get when his music hits this Sunday? COACH Whatever. It’s not like these fans matter in a match. COLE The Lightning Bolts give Tha Puerto Rican a ton of support! They motivate him to succeed! They mean a lot to him! COACH *Yawn*. So? He’ll still lose this Sunday. There’s no question about that. Stephen Joseph tells his Corporation to leave the ring. Tha Puerto Rican stops at ringside to slap hands with the fans before power walking around the ringside area. Stephen Joseph makes sure to get out of Tha Puerto Rican’s way as he does this. Rock Hard Brickston remains in the ring. COLE For Tha Puerto Rican, this match will be brutal. This match won’t end until either Tha Puerto Rican has beaten all 9 competitors by pinfall, submission, or disqualification, or if one of the 9 competitors beats Tha Puerto Rican by pinfall, submission, or disqualification. That’s it. PRL has to run The Corporate Gauntlet 3 days before his World Title Match against Popick at AngleMania VII! COACH Tha Puerto Rican has to run The Corporate Gauntlet, but he ain’t gonna make it all the way through! “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing over the P.A. system. Rock Hard Brickston taunts Tha Puerto Rican, who is still walking around ringside. Popick holds the Corporation members back. COLE PRL is gonna fight Thomas Rodriguez, Princess Stacey AND Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez here tonight! COACH That is unless someone beats him beforehand! COLE True, but considering this is-- COACH Michael, please. Let’s be real here. This match will be over in about 10 seconds-- Tha Puerto Rican grabs Rock Hard Brickston from behind and nails him with a Rock-style punch to the temple! COLE You were saying? COACH Shut up. Tha Puerto Rican nails Brickston with more Rock-style punches to the temple! Referee Earl Hebner calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* THE CORPORATE GAUNTLET THA PUERTO RICAN vs. THE STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK CORPORATION (with Stephen Joseph Popick) Tha Puerto Rican continues nailing Rock Hard Brickston with Rock-style punches to the temple to the crowd’s delight. COLE PRL going to work early on the newest member of the SJPC, Rock Hard Brickston! COACH He surprised him! That little sneak! He surprised him from behind! PRL is STILL punching Brickston! Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! Brickston stumbles, so Puerto Rican grabs him by the head and takes him over to a turnbuckle corner where he proceeds to nail him with some more Rock-style punches to the temple! COACH He got off a lucky shot, but he’s won’t be lucky for long! PR gets Brickston good and dazed. He then runs on over to the opposite turnbuckle, and then charges forward. Stinger Splash on Rock Hard Brickston! PRL grabs Brickston--Brickston scratches PR’s eyes! Rock Hard punches PRL in the face! PRL punches back! Brickston punches back! PRL punches back! A slugfest erupts between the two superstars with the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation looking on! COACH There we go! Brickston’s overpowering PRL! What else is new? PRL quickly gains the advantage. He takes Rock Hard into the ring ropes, and then gives him an Irish whip into the opposite ropes. P.R. puts his head down, so Rock Hard Brickston stops in his tracks and then kicks PRL right in the face! PRL stumbles, right into a clothesline from Rock Hard Brickston that knocks P.R. down! COLE And Rock Hard Brickston manages to bring PRL down to the mat! COACH You say that like it’s a surprise that he did that. COLE Well… COACH Hush up. Rock Hard Brickston stomps on Tha Puerto Rican, and then gets on top of him and starts hammering away at his face! Vitamin X and Stephen Joseph offer words of encouragement for Brickston. Earl Hebner tells Brickston to stop, and Brickston does…to get up and yell at the referee! COLE This is something that we’ve seen a lot over the past three years, Tha Puerto Rican and Rock Hard Brickston duking it out, except this time, the fans are siding with Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Fair-weather fans. PRL slowly gets up. Brickston grabs Puerto, removing his Puerto Rican flag bandana in the process, and punches him in the face! He does it again! And again! And again! And again! And again! And again! Brickston grabs Puerto Rican by his left hand, and then gives him an Irish whip into the opposite ropes. PRL bounces off of the ropes, and Brickston responds with a spinning back elbow to P.R.’s face! COLE Nice spinning back elbow from Rock Hard Brickston! COACH He has gotten better thanks to rejoining the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation! He’s proving it right now! Rock Hard looks at the crowd. The crowd boos loudly. Brickston chuckles. He covers PRL, hooking his left leg. 1... 2... KICK OUT!!! STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Damn. COLE PRL kicked out! The Corporate Gauntlet continues! COACH Rats. PRL crawls around the ring. He uses the ropes to pull himself back up. Rock Hard Brickston watches PRL get up, as does the members of the SJPC on the outside. PRL rests on a turnbuckle corner. When Brickston comes near him, PR kicks Brickston in the stomach! He kicks him in the stomach again! Rock Hard Brickston punches PR in the face several times, then kicks him in the stomach twice, and then punches him some more. Rock Hard then grabs P.R.L. near the ring ropes and then gives him a whip into the opposite ring ropes--PRL reverses--Brickston bounces off of the ropes, PRL goes for a clothesline, Rock Hard Brickston ducks, stops in his tracks, grabs PRL from behind in a Full Nelson, and then lifts him up, slamming him back down onto the mat HARD! Afterwards, Rock Hard gives PR the “You can’t see me!” hand gesture to LOUD boos. COACH HA! HA! A “You Can’t See Me!” Full Nelson Slam! An old favourite from Rock Hard’s playbook! COLE An oldie but a goodie from Rock Hard Brickston. And PRL is in trouble! POPICK Continue! Continue! COLE Stephen Joseph ordering Rock Hard Brickston to continue assaulting Tha Puerto Rican. Rock Hard now taking orders from Stephen Joseph Popick after years of battling against him! Brickston won his first, and so far ONLY, belt in the OAOAST by defeating Popick to become OAOAST Italian Champion back in April of 2005! COACH He finally saw the error of his ways and returned home. COLE Oh come on! “PO-PICK SUCKS!” “PO-PICK SUCKS!” “PO-PICK SUCKS!” “PO-PICK SUCKS!” COACH HE DOES NOT SUCK! COLE Fresno, California telling Stephen Joseph Popick that he sucks! COACH Ah, ingrates. The whole lot of ‘em! He’s got the belt, they don’t, so who sucks now? COLE Yeah, Popick’s got the belt. But for how much longer, Coach? COACH Don’t you start! Rock Hard Brickston waits for PRL to get up. When he does, Rock Hard grabs PR’s left arm and brings him down to the mat so that he can apply an arm-bar on him! He then quickly rolls over, grabs PRL’s left leg with his left hand, and twists the ankle with his right hand. Anklelock! COLE Anklelock! COACH AAH! Look at this! COLE Brickston has got the Anklelock applied on Tha Puerto Rican! COACH PRL is finished! He’s too far from the ropes! He can’t escape this! There IS no escape from Brickston’s Anklelock! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! VITAMIN X YEAH! THAT’S IT! TWIST THE ANKLE! TWIST IT! Rock Hard Brickston torques the ankle, causing PRL to scream in pain! Brickston screams for PRL to submit. But the Latin Lion refuses to give up. COACH Give up PR! Tha Puerto Rican uses all of the strength that he’s got left in his left leg to push Brickston off of him, breaking the Anklelock submission hold! COLE PRL escaped! COACH WHAT!? Rock Hard Brickston gets pushed into the ring ropes. Tha Puerto Rican quickly gets back to his feet. Brickston charges forward. Tha Puerto Rican kicks Rock Hard Brickston in the stomach (using his right foot of course). P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111 COACH OH NO! COLE P.R. Nightmare! PRL just gave Rock Hard Brickston the P.R. Nightmare! The crowd explodes with cheers! Tha Puerto Rican quickly covers Rock Hard Brickston. He hooks Brickston’s right leg. Earl Hebner counts, as does the crowd. 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE And Tha Puerto Rican has pinned Rock Hard Brickston! That’s one Corporation member down! 8 to go! COACH He pinned Rock Hard first!? Damnit! As soon as PRL pins Rock Hard, The Bone Thug enters the ring and attacks Tha Puerto Rican! COLE And it looks like The Bone Thug is the next wrestler for the Corporation! COACH Let the good cousin beat the bad, disgusting, waste of skin cousin! I love it! The Bone Thug stomps on Tha Puerto Rican, getting him good and weakened. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” COACH Shut them up, Michael! COLE I can’t! We have freedom of speech here in the OAOAST! The Bone Thug picks Tha Puerto Rican up and punches him in the face several times. Bone Thug then whips his cousin into the ropes. He follows with a dropkick, which knocks PRL down! Bone Thug goes for the cover. 1...2...RIGHT SHOULDER UP! COLE PRL putting the shoulder up right in the nick of time! Stephen Joseph Popick looks on with a satisfied grin on his face. The SJPC members all cheer Bone Thug, including Rock Hard Brickston who is holding his head in pain on the outside. The Bone Thug chokes Tha Puerto Rican with his bare hands on the mat! EARL HEBNER COME ON NOW! BREAK IT UP! 1! 2! 3! 4! The Bone Thug stops choking PR. THE BONE THUG Gringo estupida! The Bone Thug picks PRL up by his head. He punches him in the face a few times, and then grabs P.R. by his left wrist, and gives him an Irish whip into a turnbuckle corner. COLE Uh-oh. COACH Oh yes. Here it comes! The crowd starts booing. The Bone Thug plays to the crowd, and then jogs on over to the opposite turnbuckle. Bone Thug jogs in place, getting the crowd to boo louder, and then charges forward…nailing his cousin with a Yakuza Kick! THE BONE THUG ARRIBA LA RAZA~! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE The Bone Thug nailing PRL with one of his signature moves, that Turnbuckle Yakuza Kick! COACH He knocked MORE of Tha Puerto Rican’s teeth out! I love it! The Bone Thug taunts the fans. He then gives them the “Up yours!” hand gesture. COACH The Bone Thug really is the superior cousin! I knew it all along! COLE The Bone Thug in control of his cousin, Tha Puerto Rican, so far. This Corporate Gauntlet might end early! COACH It will! It will! The Bone Thug grabs Tha Puerto Rican. He punches him in the face several times. Bone Thug then grabs Tha Puerto Rican by his right wrist, and gives him an Irish whip into the opposite ropes. The Bone Thug goes for a clothesline, Tha Puerto Rican ducks the clothesline, stops in his tracks, and turns around to give The Bone Thug a KICK WHAM P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 COLE P.R. Nightmare! Another P.R. Nightmare this time on The Bone Thug! COACH Oh no! Oh no! Get up Bone Thug! How do you say ‘Get up!’ in Spanish!? COLE I don’t know and I don’t think that that will matter in a few seconds! Tha Puerto Rican covers The Bone Thug, hooking his left leg. Earl Hebner makes the count. 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE Tha Puerto Rican beats The Bone Thug! That’s 2 Corporation members down! 7 more to go! COACH NO! Cuban Wall immediately enters the ring and stomps on Tha Puerto Rican’s body! Wall switches to pounding on Tha Puerto Rican’s head! COLE And Cuban Wall, the 2008 Lethal Rumble Winner, the man who SHOULD be going to AngleMania VII to challenge for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title this Sunday, is in the match next! COACH That’s right Michael! He SHOULD! You said it right! But Tha Puerto Rican STOLE THE SHOT from him! Well now, Cuban Wall’s getting some payback as we speak! Cuban Wall picks Tha Puerto Rican up. He punches him in the face several times. The crowd is hot. Wall grabs Tha Puerto Rican and whips him into the opposite ropes. Cuban Wall heads to the ropes, bounces off of the ropes, and then charges forward, nailing PRL with a flying clothesline! COLE Flying clothesline from the 6’7” 285 pound Cuban Wall! COACH Come on Wall! This is a golden opportunity for you to beat the hell out of Tha Puerto Rican for taking away YOUR World Title shot! It could have been yours, Wall! It could have been yours! Think about it! Let that motivate you to bash Tha Puerto Rican’s skull right the hell in! Cuban Wall takes a deep breath, and then picks Tha Puerto Rican up. He nails Puerto with CLUBBERIN’~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN’~! forearms to the back of the neck! The forearms cause Tha Puerto Rican to fall to the mat! P.R. crawls around the ring with Wall right behind him, taunting him, telling him, “YOU STOLE MY SHOT!“ Cuban Wall grabs Puerto Rican by his neck and shoves him into a turnbuckle corner, where he proceeds to choke him. CUBAN WALL YOU STOLE MY SHOT! YOU STOLE WHAT WAS MINE! IT WAS MINE! DAMNIT! IT WAS MINE! NOT YOURS! IT! WAS! MINE! COACH You tell ’im, Wall! COLE Cuban Wall beating on the man who took his #1 Contendership for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at OAOAST AngleMania VII away from him, Tha Puerto Rican! COACH This is payback that is a long time coming, P.R.! HA! HA! Cuban Wall nails PR with some of his trademark Soupbones all over Tha Puerto Rican’s body! He finishes with a punch square to the nose! Wall then grabs PRL away from the turnbuckle and scoops him up in a fallaway slam position. He then runs with PRL in his hands into the opposite turnbuckle, slamming PRL’s back against the turnbuckle. Wall then runs back to the turnbuckle that they were originally in, slamming PR’s back against the turnbuckle again! Cuban Wall then heads to the turnbuckle nearest to him, slamming PRL’s back against a third turnbuckle! PRL screams out in pain. Cuban Wall then finishes one of his signature moves by running to the opposite turnbuckle and slamming PRL’s back against the turnbuckle. Cuban Wall then charges forward and gives PRL a powerslam onto the mat! Wall goes for the cover. ONE! TWO! KICK OUT!!! COLE Cuban Wall with one of his signature moves, but that wasn’t enough to put Tha Puerto Rican away! COACH Tha Puerto Rican is getting what’s coming to him! After SCREWING Cuban Wall on Valentine’s Day, this is Wall’s revenge! COLE That didn’t come out right. COACH No it didn’t. Cuban Wall yells at the referee. He then shoves him aside and picks PRL up. Cuban Wall walks to the ring ropes, grabbing PRL’s throat with his right hand. PRL gasps for air. Cuban Wall grabs PRL’s left wrist and then whips him into the opposite ropes. PRL bounces off of the ropes, Cuban Wall goes for a Big Boot, BUT THA PUERTO RICAN CATCHES CUBAN WALL’S RIGHT FOOT! PRL sets the right foot down and starts laying the smackdown on Cuban Wall with Rock-style punches to the temple! COLE PRL fighting back! PRL trying to win The Corporate Gauntlet 3 days before AngleMania VII! The punches take Cuban Wall into a turnbuckle corner. Tha Puerto Rican continues nailing Wall with Rock punches. Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! Stephen Joseph Popick looks on with concern on his face as Tha Puerto Rican gets the big man dazed and confused. Cuban Wall pokes PRL right in the eyes, and then grabs him to start giving more Soupbones! COLE The Muscle of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation hammering away on The Latin Lion! COACH YEAH! Cuba Wall grabs PRL’s left arm and whips him into the opposite turnbuckle corner. PRL hits the turnbuckle back-first HARD! PRL stumbles out of the turnbuckle. Cuban Wall charges forward with a clothesline, but Tha Puerto Rican ducks the clothesline, stops in his tracks, and then turns around, kicking Cuban Wall in the gut, grabbing Wall, putting him in a front facelock, grabbing Wall’s long blue tights and then using all of the strength that he’s got left to *barely* lift Cuban Wall up to give him the P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 COLE P.R. Nightmare! P.R. Nightmare on Cuban Wall! COACH AW DAMNIT! The members of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation freak out on the outside. Tha Puerto Rican lies on the mat for a few seconds, breathing hard. He then manages to crawl over to the fallen Cuban Wall and cover him, hooking Wall’s left leg. The crowd counts along with Earl Hebner. COACH NO! COLE Here comes the cover! 1! 2! 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE And Tha Puerto Rican has pinned Cuban Wall! Tha Puerto Rican has eliminated Cuban Wall from The Corporate Gauntlet! COACH This isn’t happening! Damnit! This isn’t happening! COLE It’s happening, Coach! PRL has beaten 3 Corporation members so far, and here comes Corporation member #4! Spanish Fly enters the ring and pounds on Tha Puerto Rican before he can even get up! Fly then switches to stomping on Tha Puerto Rican to keep him down! COLE And now it’s Spanish Fly’s turn! Spanish Fly also in action this Sunday at AngleMania VII taking on Colombian Heat in a Crybaby Match for the OAOAST United States Championship where the loser has to wear a diaper! COACH That should be good! Spanish Fly is gonna make Colombian Heat wear a diaper in front of over 100,000 fans in the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum! That’s going to be great! The most embarrassing night in Colombian Heat’s career! I can’t wait to see it! Spanish Fly picks Tha Puerto Rican up and nails him with several forearm shots to the face! Fly then grabs PRL by his right hand and proceeds to whip him into the opposite ropes, following that up with a jumping flying back kick to Tha Puerto Rican’s face, knocking him down to the mat! COLE Ooh! Spanish Fly got all of that kick on Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Yeah! Do it little buddy! Knock him out! Spanish Fly does some martial arts poses, drawing boos from the fans! Fly responds by giving the fans a De-Generation X CROTCH CHOP~! And sticking his tongue out. Spanish Fly then goes ahead and picks PRL up, punching him in the face a few times. He then takes the groggy Puerto Rican into a turnbuckle corner, where he slams his face onto the top turnbuckle pad. Spanish Fly then starts laying into PRL with martial arts kicks all over his body. COLE And it’s thanks to Tha Puerto Rican beating Spanish Fly that PRL even got the AngleMania World Title shot in the first place! Remember that classic Ultimate X Match on the February 14th HeldDOWN~! COACH Ugh. Don’t remind me. The saddest day in Spanish Fly’s career. COLE I would figure that Spanish Fly rejoining the SJPC was the saddest day of his career. COACH No, THAT was the greatest day of his career! There’s a difference, Cole. Spanish Fly continues kicking PRL all over his body. COLE Spanish Fly with those educated feet! One went to Harvard, one went to Yale! Spanish Fly gives PRL some more martial arts kicks all over his body! He then finishes it off with a jumping back kick to Tha Puerto Rican’s jaw! PRL slumps onto the mat with his head resting on the bottom turnbuckle pad! COLE Oh no. COACH Oh yes! The crowd starts booing loudly. Spanish Fly points down to Tha Puerto Rican and smiles an evil smile. Popick nods his head. As does Vitamin X. And Cuban Wall, who is now holding his head in pain. COACH Here it comes! I love this move now! COLE It could be Broncobuster time! Spanish Fly jogs on over to the opposite turnbuckle, doing the Wolfpac hand signal on the way there. He then sees Tha Puerto Rican lying on the mat with his head resting on the bottom turnbuckle pad, smiles evilly, does the “low-rider” hand gesture, and then a De-Generation X CROTCH CHOP~! SPANISH FLY YEAH! Spanish Fly then points to Tha Puerto Rican, and then charges forward, jumping up for a Broncobust--NO! Tha Puerto Rican moves out of the way, and Spanish Fly’s crotch meets the ring post! COACH OH NO! COLE Spanish Fly missed the Broncobuster that time! COACH Little buddy! COLE Spanish Fly can try out for the Vienna Boys Choir now! Not that he couldn’t before! COACH Stuff it, Michael! Spanish Fly grimaces in pain while his legs are still wrapped around the ring post. He soon falls off of the ring post back down onto the mat. The male members of the Corporation all wince in pain along with Spanish Fly; Stephen Joseph, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, Thomas Rodriguez and Rock Hard Brickston all covering their groins in sympathy pain. Tha Puerto Rican uses the ring ropes to pull himself up. Spanish Fly lies on the mat holding his groin in pain. COLE And PRL is getting back up! COACH LOOK OUT FLY! Tha Puerto Rican uses the top ring rope to pull himself back up to a vertical base. Spanish Fly is still lying on the mat. Tha Puerto Rican gets into his “predator” position to do the P.R. Nightmare. COLE Here we go! It could be time for a P.R. Nightmare! COACH Oh no! Fly look out! He’s right behind you! RIGHT BEHIND YOU! Spanish Fly gets to his side. He then rolls himself onto his stomach and pushes himself up to his left knee. PRL bends down behind him, motioning for Fly to get up. COLE Spanish Fly might be in serious trouble here! COACH I don’t like the looks of this! Spanish Fly is on his left knee. The crowd is buzzing in anticipation for the P.R. Nightmare. COLE Look out Fly! COACH Oh God no! Spanish Fly slowly pushes himself up to a vertical base. Fly stands up tall, still holding his groin in pain. He takes a deep breath, runs his left hand through his long stringy jet black hair, and then turns around… KICK WHAM P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 COLE P.R. Nightmare! P.R. Nightmare on Spanish Fly! COACH Spanish Fly! Are you okay!? PLEASE WAKE UP, FLY! The crowd EXPLODES with cheers! Tha Puerto Rican covers Spanish Fly, hooking both legs. Earl Hebner counts, along with the crowd. 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE And Tha Puerto Rican has pinned Spanish Fly! The Corporate Gauntlet continues! COACH This isn’t right! This isn’t right at all! COLE PRL is running roughshod over the SJPC! Over his former allies! He has beaten four in a row now! We are down to five! The crowd is going crazy. Meanwhile, Tha Puerto Rican is on his hands and knees, catching his breath. Meanwhile, outside of the ring, the Corporation members are wondering who will go next. Cuban Wall, Rock Hard Brickston and The Bone Thug all hold their heads in pain. COLE Who’s next? COACH Stealing another catchphrase, huh? COLE Oh will you stop!? The SJPC members continue arguing amongst themselves. Finally, Stephen Joseph Popick makes the decision on who’s going in next: Princess Stacey. Princess Stacey is stunned by this announcement, and so is Vitamin X. COACH What!? Stacey!? PRINCESS STACEY IS NEXT!? COLE She’s a member of the Corporation, Coach, so she’s in The Corporate Gauntlet! COACH BUT SHE’S NOT A WRESTLER! SHE’S A MANAGER! COLE She’s dressed to compete, Coach! COACH THAT’S FOR MORAL SUPPORT! SHE NEVER ACTUALLY WANTED TO WRESTLE! Princess Stacey pleads for Popick not to send her into the match. But Stephen Joseph says, “You’re dressed to wrestle. Go wrestle!” Vitamin X says, “Boss, what are you doing!? She can’t wrestle!” But Stephen Joseph responds with, “Don’t worry. I know what I am doing.” Tha Puerto Rican stands up in the ring and looks down at the Corporation members on the outside. COLE Tha Puerto Rican continues The Corporate Gauntlet against Princess Stacey up next! COACH I can’t believe this is happening! I mean, I know that Popick is a genius and all, but…I *just* might have to question his decision. Just a bit. A little bit. Just a little bit. As a “P.R.!” chant starts up again, Princess Stacey panics on the outside. Tha Puerto Rican paces back and forth in the ring staring at Princess Stacey. Vitamin X consoles Stacey and gives her some words of encouragement. X puts his hands on Stacey’s shoulders and tries to comfort his worried girlfriend. Spanish Fly rolls out of the ring and holds his head in pain. VITAMIN X Relax. Just relax. Everything is going to be okay. Just relax. You’re gonna get him! You’re gonna make him bleed! You’re gonna make him suffer! You will win! YOU WILL BEAT HIM! PRINCESS STACEY But X, I’m scared! VX Don’t be! Okay! I got your back! I’ve got your back! You know that. I’ve got your back forever! PRINCESS STACEY But X-- VX SHH! Calm down! It’s going to be all right! Everything is going to be all right! Vitamin X hugs Princess Stacey while saying, “Everything’s going to be all right.” over and over again. “GOLDDD-DIGGER!” “GOLDDD-DIGGER!” “GOLDDD-DIGGER!” “GOLDDD-DIGGER!” COACH Classless ingrates! COLE These fans are impatient! They want Stacey to get into the ring right now! COACH Give her a few minutes to gain her composure. And that’s PRINCESS Stacey to you, Cole! Vitamin X gives Princess Stacey some last minute words of encouragement, and then kisses her on the lips. Princess Stacey leaves X, X slapping Stacey’s ass as she walks away. COLE Princess Stacey about to compete in only her SECOND wrestling match EVER here in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! And her first one in over a year! Princess Stacey walks around the ringside area, wearing her wrestling attire which consists of a blue sports bra with black trim, black short tights with “PRINCESS” written on the rear in pink cursive font with a small diamond used to dot the I, black elbow pads, black knee pads, black wrestling boots, a gold necklace with her name on it, and her tiara on her head as usual. COLE Princess Stacey’s first and only match thus far was against Jade Rodez at Anglepalooza back in January of 2007, which she LOST! COACH Well, she’s about to add a win to her Win/Loss column by beating PRL here tonight! How about that? Princess Stacey beating Tha Puerto Rican! What a HUGE boost to her career that would be, huh? COLE It sure would, Coach, but I’m not so sure about Stacey’s chances. COACH What are you talking about? Stacey’s been training over the past 14 months! She’s been training long and hard, and making Vitamin X long and har-- COLE Okay that’s enough! COACH And that’s PRINCESS Stacey to you, Cole! Princess Stacey looks at PRL. PRL motions for Stacey to enter the ring. Stacey does a big cartoonish gulp, and then climbs up the ring steps. Princess Stacey nervously walks across the ring apron, sweat already appearing on her forehead, and trembling a bit. COACH Don’t be scared Stacey! Don’t be scared! Don’t let him imtimidate you! Do NOT let him do that! Princess Stacey wipes her feet on the ring apron, and then slowly enters the ring underneath the middle ring rope. The crowd is buzzing in anticipation of PRL’s next move. Princess Stacey stands there staring at Tha Puerto Rican. Tha Puerto Rican just stares at her with a serious expression on his face. COACH Look at P.R.! He’s lusting after Princess Stacey! He wants her in the worst way! COLE Look who’s talking. COACH SHH! Don’t say that out loud, X might hear you! Princess Stacey has a look of utter FEAR on her beautiful face. Tha Puerto Rican continues staring at her. THA PUERTO RICAN So, are you gonna fight me or what? COLE PR wants to fight! COACH And so does Stacey! COLE HA! COACH SHUT UP, MICHAEL COLE! The crowd eggs Princess Stacey on, chanting, “GOLDDD-DIGGER!” at her. Princess Stacey throws a temper tantrum in the ring. Vitamin X offers supports for his girlfriend outside of the ring. COLE Are they gonna fight? COACH Princess Stacey is tricking PRL. She’s got him right where she wants him and she is ready to strike! Princess Stacey calms herself down. She then takes a deep breath, points a menacing finger at Tha Puerto Rican and says something to him, and then… PRINCESS STACEY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Princess Stacey charges forward, making a beeline for Tha Puerto Rican, extending her right hand out and going for a SLAP-- BLOCKED BY THA PUERTO RICAN! COACH OH NO! COLE Oh boy! Tha Puerto Rican holds onto Princess Stacey’s right hand with his left hand and looks as her as if to say, “Are you serious?” Princess Stacey has a look of fear on her face as does Vitamin X. Popick tells X to calm down. The crowd buzzes in anticipation. COACH RUN STACEY! COLE Princess Stacey could be in trouble here! Tha Puerto Rican rolls his eyes. And then kicks Princess Stacey in her stomach. Tha Puerto Rican grabs Princess Stacey, applies a front facelock on her, grabs ahold of Princess Stacey’s black short tights, jumps up and then jumps down with the P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111 “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH NOOOOOOOOO! COLE P.R. Nightmare! P.R. Nightmare on Princess Stacey! P.R. Nightmare on the Princess of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation! COACH Princess Stacey is out cold! Vitamin X is freaking out on the outside. He yells at Popick for putting Stacey into the match, but Popick just looks at the ring with a serious expression on his face. Princess Stacey's tiara has fallen off of her head. Tha Puerto Rican rolls Princess Stacey onto her back and then makes the cover, hooking Princess Stacey’s left leg. Earl Hebner makes the count. The crowd counts along. COACH HER TIARA! COLE PRL going for the pin! COACH I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS! DON’T YOU DARE GET ON TOP OF HER, P.R.! THAT’S VITAMIN X’S GIRL! 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE And Tha Puerto Rican pins Princess Stacey! We are down to four! COACH I can’t believe that PRL did that! What kind of a man is he!? He’s a misygonist! A no good misygonist! He proved it 2 weeks ago and he proved it again tonight! COLE PRL is in it to win it, Coach. And hey, Princess Stacey wanted to fight, PRL was just defending himself. COACH By giving the 5’2” 115 pound girl a P.R. Nightmare! Yeah, she was a threat to him! COLE She wanted to fight, PRL wanted to win-- COACH Stop trying to defend PRL’s misygonsy you misygonist! Mr. Boricua enters the ring and stomps on Tha Puerto Rican before he can get up! COLE And batting next for the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation, Mr. Boricua! COACH Good! Kick him, Boricua! Kick him HARD! Make sure that misgyonist pays for what he’s done! Mr. Boricua screams and yells as he drops a knee onto Tha Puerto Rican’s face. Vitamin X helps Princess Stacey out of the ring while Mr. Boricua picks Tha Puerto Rican up. Vitamin X grabs the tiara and quickly runs back over to Princess Stacey to give it back to her. COLE The fatigue might be setting in. Beating 5 people might be now taking it’s toll on Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Good! He’s not gonna make it! He’s gonna lose! He’s gonna choke like the choke artist that he is! Mr. Boricua hits PRL with an uppercut, knocking PRL back down to the mat! COLE Do you think Stephen Joseph Popick even CARES about winning this match or do you think he just wants PRL to run the Gauntlet? Do you think he just wants PRL softened up for Sunday night? COACH A little bit from column A, a little bit from column B! This is great! The Corporate Gauntlet! I love it! HA! HA! Mr. Boricua grabs Tha Puerto Rican by his right hand and drags him into a turnbuckle corner. Tha Puerto Rican’s head rests on the bottom turnbuckle pad. With Stephen Joseph Popick looking on, Mr. Boricua kicks Tha Puerto Rican in the stomach several times. He then chokes PRL with his right foot. “COME ON NOW! BREAK IT UP! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIV--!” Mr. Boricua stops choking PRL. He yells at the referee. Mr. Boricua grunts, snorts, and cracks his knuckles. Mr. B picks Tha Puerto Rican up and sets him up against the turnbuckle. He then starts choking PRL with his right hand while yelling and screaming at him! Earl Hebner orders Mr. Boricua to stop choking Tha Puerto Rican. Mr. Boricua lets go at the count of 4. He yells at the referee, and then screams at him. Mr. Boricua screams at the crowd. The crowd boos LOUDLY. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has got 4 wrestlers left in The Corporate Gauntlet. 3 men and a WOMAN, his ex-girlfriend, Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick! COACH Yeah, but Mr. Boricua is gonna take care of PRL, so Lindsay won’t have to worry about getting into the ring with PRL! Vitamin X is checking on Princess Stacey, who has her right hand on her head and is grimacing in pain. She has her tiara back on her head. Stephen Joseph Popick keeps his eyes focused solely on the match going on inside of the ring with a serious expression on his face. COACH Look at the eyes. Look at the determination etched on Stephen Joseph Popick’s face! He’s got a plan! He’s always got a plan! Stephen Joseph Popick works in mysterious ways! COLE ‘Mysterious ways’!? There’s nothing mysterious about it! COACH What!? COLE He’s letting these guys beat the hell out of Tha Puerto Rican-- COACH HA! HA! COLE --before Sunday night’s OAOAST World Heavyweight Title Match! Mr. Boricua grabs Tha Puerto Rican and delivers an Irish whip into the opposite ropes--NO--Tha Puerto Rican reverses, Mr. Boricua charges forward, Mr. Boricua bounces off of the ropes, PRL goes for a back elbow, Mr. Boricua ducks the back elbow, charges forward, bounces off of the opposite ropes, charges forward, right into a dropkick from Tha Puerto Rican! COLE PRL fires with a dropkick! BUT MR. BORICUA DOESN’T FALL! So Tha Puerto Rican bounces off of the ropes, and nails Mr. Boricua with a clothesline! Mr. Boricua stumbles, BUT DOESN’T FALL! So, Tha Puerto Rican bounces off of the ropes a second time, ducks Mr. Boricua’s Big Boot, bounces off of the opposite ropes, charges forward, and hits Mr. Boricua with a flying clothesline which finally takes the big man off of his feet! COLE Flying clothesline! Flying clothesline took Mr. Boricua off of his feet! COACH Oh no! Big guy! Come on! GET UP! MAKE POPICK PROUD! MAKE YOUR BOSS PROUD! Tha Puerto Rican takes a few seconds to catch his breath, and then gets up. PRL exits the ring and then climbs the top rope. COLE Oh boy. PRL is gonna fly! COACH GET UP BORICUA! Tha Puerto Rican sets himself up on the top rope. PRL removes his left elbow pad, causing the crowd to cheer, and then throws it into the crowd. COACH Oh crap. PRL then stands up on the top turnbuckle, looks down at the fallen Mr. Boricua, and then smiles…before soaring off of the top rope, doing an “Up yours!” hand gesture in mid-air, and then connecting with an elbow right into the heart of Mr. Boricua! The crowd cheers! COLE The People’s Elbow Drop! The People’s Elbow Drop on Mr. Boricua! COACH DAMNIT! Tha Puerto Rican goes for the cover. 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KICK OUT!!!! COACH Phew! COLE Mr. Boricua kicked out! Mr. Boricua kicked out of The People’s Elbow Drop! COACH Like THAT would be enough to put Mr. Boricua down! HA! The crowd is disappointed that that wasn’t the finish. Tha Puerto Rican slaps the mat in frustration. COLE The Great One is coming back! COACH Come on Boricua! Tha Puerto Rican gets up, and then picks Mr. Boricua up. He takes him over to the ropes where he grabs Mr. Boricua’s left hand, and then gives him an Irish whip into the opposite ropes--Mr. Boricua reverses--PRL bounces off of the ropes, right into a Big Boot from Mr. Boricua! COLE Mr. Boricua able to connect with the Big Boot on the second try! COACH Atta boy, Boricua! COLE That stopped PR in his tracks! COACH Yes! Mr. Boricua waits for Tha Puerto Rican to get up. He yells and screams at him. Mr. Boricua snorts and raises his right hand. Tha Puerto Rican slowly gets back to his feet. COACH Uh-oh. Tha Puerto Rican is up to a vertical base. He turns around and walks… COACH Here we go! Look at Mr. Boricua! He’s ready! …right into a GOOZLE~! from Mr. Boricua! COACH He’s got him! Mr. Boricua yells and grunts at Tha Puerto Rican while clutching his throat with his right hand. PRL gasps for air. The crowd starts booing. Vitamin X orders Mr. Boricua to do the Chokeslam. Popick just looks on with a serious expression still on his face. COLE PRL gonna go for a ride here! Mr. Boricua yells, screams, grabs Tha Puerto Rican’s tights, and then lifts Tha Puerto Rican up, slamming him back down onto the mat with a CHOKESLAM! COLE Chokeslam! COACH THIS WILL FINISH HIM OFF FOR SURE, POPICK! The crowd boos loudly. Some garbage is thrown into the ring. The SJPC members on the outside celebrate thinking that the match is over. But Stephen Joseph just stands there and watches the match. Mr. Boricua grunts, yells, snorts, screams, and cracks his knuckles. He then goes for the cover. COACH YOU WON’T HAVE ANY PROBLEM WITH PRL THIS SUNDAY! Earl Hebner counts. COLE And here’s the cover by Mr. Boricua! Is this the end of The Corporate Gauntlet!? 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEFT SHOULDER UP!!! COLE And PRL gets the shoulder up! COACH WHAT!? Mr. Boricua screams at the referee. He yells at him also. Earl Hebner tells Mr. Boricua that it was only a two count. Vitamin X protests the count, but Earl Hebner tells him that it was only a two count too. Popick just stands there and watches. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is STILL in this match! The Corporate Gauntlet continues! COACH COME ON BORICUA! Mr. Boricua grunts and snorts and then gets up. He picks Tha Puerto Rican up by his head. COLE Tha Puerto Rican resilent once again! COACH Shut up with that inspirational crap! PRL is doomed! DOOMED, I TELLS YA! Mr. Boricua places PRL in between his legs. COLE Wait a minute here! COACH Latino Bomb time! Mr. Boricua yells, screams and sneers at the crowd. The crowd boos loudly. Some garbage is thrown into the ring. Vitamin X yells at Mr. Boricua to do the Latino Bomb. Other Corporation members yell at Mr. Boricua to do it too. COACH Here we go! This is the final out! This is the end! Goodbye PRL! Maybe you won’t even make it to AngleMania VII after this move! HA! HA! COLE Mr. Boricua going for his signature Latino Bomb now! COACH Oh boy! This is going to be great! Mr. Boricua grabs Tha Puerto Rican--THA PUERTO RICAN ESCAPES! COLE Tha Puerto Rican escapes! COACH AAAH! KICK WHAM P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 COLE P.R. Nightmare! P.R. Nightmare on Mr. Boricua! A P.R. Nightmare on the 6’9” 300 pound Mr. Boricua! COACH Oh no! COLE Tha Puerto Rican caught Mr. Boricua by surprise! COACH NO! The crowd EXPLODES in cheers! Tha Puerto Rican takes a deep breath. He then crawls on over and turns Mr. Boricua onto his back. He then makes the cover on Mr. Boricua, hooking his right leg. Earl Hebner counts, as does the crowd. 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE PRL pins Mr. Boricua! PRL pins Mr. Boricua! There goes Corporation member #6! COACH AAUGH! OH NO! Thomas Rodriguez enters the ring and goes to attack Tha Puerto Rican! But Tha Puerto Rican looks up at Thomas, and The CORPORATE Referee stops in his tracks. The crowd cheers loudly. Thomas looks at PRL with utter FEAR on his face. COLE And it looks like Thomas Rodriguez is next for the Corporation! COACH Take it easy on him will ya!? COLE Thomas has had more wrestling matches than Princess Stacey at least! Thomas Rodriguez, wearing his wrestling attire which consists of a blue singlet, long blue tights with “PUERTO” written down the left leg in big white blocky letters and “RICO” written down the right leg in big white blocky letters, blue elbow pads, Puerto Rican flag wrist bands, “PUERTO RICAN” written on the rear in big white blocky letters, blue wrestling boots and a gold chain around his neck, tries to beg off Tha Puerto Rican. But PRL threatens bodily harm on the cowardly referee, so Thomas exits the ring by leaving underneath the top ring rope. Tha Puerto Rican quickly follows suit, jumping over the top ring rope onto the floor to chase Thomas Rodriguez around the ring! COLE And look at this! We’ve got a wild goose chase around the ring! COACH RUN, THOMAS, RUN! RUN, THOMAS, RUN! The crowd cheers loudly as PRL chases Thomas around the ringside area, making sure to stay out of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation’s way. The Corporation looks on as Thomas tries to escape from Tha Puerto Rican! Meanwhile, inside of the ring, Earl Hebner helps Mr. Boricua leave the ring. COLE When PRL catches Thomas, he is going to do some damage on him! COACH I know! RUN THOMAS! Tha Puerto Rican chases Thomas Rodriguez around the ringside area. Thomas slides into the ring underneath the bottom rope, and PRL soon follows him into the ring. Thomas tries to jump over the top ring rope…but Tha Puerto Rican grabs him by his jet black hair! COACH AAAHHHH! COLE PRL has gotten a hold of Thomas! And I am sure Thomas is regretting wearing light blue tights now! COACH AW CRAP! The crowd goes wild! Tha Puerto Rican brings Thomas Rodriguez into the ring by his hair. Tha Puerto Rican yells at the Official Referee for the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation, while Thomas begs for mercy. PRL turns Thomas around, and then points a menacing finger at him. COACH Take it easy! Go easy on him! Tha Puerto Rican nails Thomas Rodriguez with a Rock-style punch to the temple! Thomas gets up, so PRL nails him with another Rock-style punch to the temple! Thomas gets up again, so PRL nails him with a third Rock-style punch to the temple! Thomas gets up a third time, so PRL nails him with a fourth Rock-style punch to the temple! Thomas gets up a fourth time, so PRL nails him with a fifth Rock-style punch to the temple! And a sixth! And a seventh! And an eighth! And a ninth! And a tenth! Eleven! Twelve! Thirteen! Fourteen! Fifteen! Sixteen! Seventeen! Eighteen! Nineteen! Twenty! Twenty-one! Twenty-two! Twenty-three! Twenty-four! Twenty-five! Twenty-six! And on! And on! And on! COLE PRL laying the smackdown on Thomas Rodriguez! PRL nails Thomas Rodriguez with more Rock-style punches to the temple! Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! Thomas goes down! COACH HE’S JUST A REFEREE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Tha Puerto Rican picks Thomas Rodriguez up. He whips him into a turnbuckle corner. Thomas hits the turnbuckle sternum-first HARD! COLE Good God! You heard that all over the arena! COACH He’s only a referee! A REFEREE! HAVE MERCY ON HIM! COLE I don’t think Tha Puerto Rican will have ANY mercy on the remaining Corporation members that he is facing here tonight! COACH OH GOD! Tha Puerto Rican picks Thomas Rodriguez up by his hair again. He whips Thomas into the opposite turnbuckle corner! Thomas hits the turnbuckle back-first HARD! Thomas Rodriguez stumbles out of the turnbuckle. KICK WHAM P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111 COLE P.R. Nightmare! P.R. Nightmare on Thomas Rodriguez! COACH He’s only a referee, DAMNIT! ONLY A REFEREE! COLE And The Corporate Referee is OUT! The crowd cheers loudly. Tha Puerto Rican KIPS UP~! PRL then covers Thomas Rodriguez, hooking his left leg, and ordering Earl Hebner to make the count. Earl Hebner does so. The crowd counts along. The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation members look on worried, except for Stephen Joseph Popick. 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Tha Puerto Rican has pinned Thomas Rodriguez! Two more members to go! COACH UGH! I don’t believe this! He’s winning! He is actually winning! COLE He is almost done, Coach! Stephen Joseph Popick wanted to soften PRL up before they meet for the World Title this Sunday, but PRL threw it right back at him! COACH This is bogus, Cole! Pure bogusness! Tha Puerto Rican gets up. He orders Thomas Rodriguez to leave the ring. Earl Hebner checks on Thomas, who appears to be knocked out. Still, PRL tells the ref to “Get his monkey ass out of the ring!” As he does this, Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick slides into the ring underneath the bottom rope. She rushes forward…and delivers a low-blow on Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Look at this! COLE Low blow! COACH OH MY GOD! PRL crumbles to the mat in pain, holding his crotch. Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick smiles evilly. She then goes over and picks Tha Puerto Rican up as Earl Hebner helps Thomas Rodriguez out of the ring. COLE Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick next in The Corporate Gauntlet for Tha Puerto Rican! Tha Puerto Rican’s EX-fiancée as well as the FORMER OAOAST Women’s Champion! COACH Yeah. FORMER thanks to that rotten, no good PRL! This is Lindsay’s chance for revenge! Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick punches Tha Puerto Rican in the face! She keeps doing it again and again. The punches don’t really affect PRL seeing as how his junk is still sore, but they do cause The People’s Champ to stagger a little. COLE PRL reffed the match and some might say cost Lindsay the OAOAST Women’s Title. COACH There’s no question that he did. COLE Well now Lindsay gets to face her former man face-to-face in the middle of the ring! COACH Go get him, Lindsay! Do it girl! Girl power! And so on… Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick continues beating on Tha Puerto Rican, causing the crowd to boo loudly. COACH This is for four years of misery, Puerto! COLE What!? Oh come on now, Coach! Lindsay and PRL were in love! They were going to get married for crying out loud! COACH That wasn’t REAL love. The love Stephen Joseph and Lindsay have for each other? That’s REAL love! COLE Oh brother! Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick grabs Tha Puerto Rican by his left hand, and then whips him into the opposite ropes. PRL bounces off the ropes, right into a flying back elbow from Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick which actually knocks Tha Puerto Rican off of his feet! COACH PRL got knocked down by a girl! COLE You can’t blame him for that. He HAS wrestled 7 other people tonight! COACH So? If he was a real man he would have been able to withstand that flying back elbow! COLE So are you saying that Popick’s wife can’t beat a man? COACH No…it’s just that…well…it’s just that…I--uh--um--err---um--ah---POPICK I LOVE YOU! COLE Oy. Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick stands up. She looks at the crowd and smiles evilly. MRS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ-POPICK HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT!? “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH Yeah baby! You show him! You show him what you are made of! 120 lbs. of twisted steel and sex appeal! Oh yeah! COLE Oh please. COACH Do it baby! Do it for your man Coach! COLE Oh come on! Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick poses. The crowd boos loudly. Stephen Joseph looks on at his wife with a serious expression on his face. Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick tells the fans to kiss her nice ass and then goes back to Tha Puerto Rican. COLE Popick’s wife doing a number on PRL three days before he meets her husband at AngleMania! COACH Lindsay is making her husband proud right about now! And you know that she will be in his corner this Sunday! COLE Along with Vitamin X. COACH No, X will call the match right down the middle! COLE I'll have to see it to believe it! Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick chokes PRL with her bare hands! “COME ON NOW! BREAK IT UP! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIV--” Lindsay lets go before the count of five! She has an evil smile on her face as she starts punching PRL in the face. COLE Lindsay in control of her former boyfriend. COACH I know and I love it! Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick curses Tha Puerto Rican in Spanish. She taunts Tha Puerto Rican and laughs manically. Lindsay then starts stomping on Tha Puerto Rican. “SLUT!” “SLUT!” “SLUT!” “SLUT!” COACH They're just jealous because they can't have her! COLE Hey, they have a right to say how they feel about Lindsay, Coach. COACH No. They don’t. As the “SLUT!” chant continues, Lindsay is still stomping on Tha Puerto Rican’s body. Lindsay stops to yell at the crowd in Spanish. The fans boos loudly. Lindsay sneers at the fans. COACH Tell ‘em, Linds. COLE Linds? COACH Yeah, Linds. She and I are tight, yo! Just not in the way that I’d want to be tight with her. COLE Uh-huh. Sure. COACH It’s the truth. Uh-huh. It’s the truth! COLE Uh-huh. Yeah. Right. COACH Jealous bastard. COLE What was that? COACH Nothing. COLE Yeah, I thought nothing. COACH Homo. Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick goes back to Tha Puerto Rican, stomping on him. She then picks Tha Puerto Rican up. She whispers something to PRL, and then grabs PRL by his right hand so that she can give P.R. an Irish whip into the opposite ropes. Tha Puerto Rican bounces off of the ropes and charges forward, Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick jumps up, and then wraps her legs around Tha Puerto Rican’s head, going for a Lindsay-Curana! COACH Lindsay-Curana! Lindsay-Curana on Tha Puerto Rican! NO! Tha Puerto Rican holds on! The crowd cheers. PRL grabs Lindsay by her pink short shorts and lifts her up. COLE Tha Puerto Rican countered the Lindsay-Curana! COACH Oh crap! LOOK OUT LINDSAY! PRL throws Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick off of him! Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick lands right on her feet. KICK WHAM P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111 COLE P.R. Nightmare! P.R. Nightmare on Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick! COACH LINDSAY! NOT AGAIN! COLE Just like two weeks ago in the Women’s Title Match! COACH DAMNIT! Tha Puerto Rican runs over and covers Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, hooking her right leg. Vitamin X is freaking out, but Stephen Joseph Popick remains calm, despite his wife having been hit by his arch-enemy's finishing move. COLE Popick’s wife just got hit with the P.R. Nightmare! COACH Oh Lindsay! COLE PRL has got Lindsay covered! COACH This is the last time that he will EVER be on top of her! COLE PRL going for pin #8! Stephen Joseph Popick looks on calm as Tha Puerto Rican covers the knocked out Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick. Earl Hebner makes the count. The crowd counts along. 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE PRL pins Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick! PRL pins his ex-girlfriend! COACH This is a travesty! A travesty of the highest order! UGH! The crowd cheers loudly. Stephen Joseph tells Vitamin X to enter the ring now, so The X-Man does so. Vitamin X gets into the ring and stomps on Tha Puerto Rican before he has a chance to get up! COLE Vitamin X going to work on Tha Puerto Rican now! The Special Guest Referee for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title Match this Sunday night going to work on the challenger to the Title! COACH Get him, X-Man! Make him pay for hitting Princess Stacey with the P.R. Nightmare earlier! Vitamin X pounds on Tha Puerto Rican in the ring as Earl Hebner helps Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick out of the ring. COLE We are down to the final man. Vitamin X. How much more of this can Tha Puerto Rican take!? Vitamin X gets up and nails PRL with fast kicks all over his body. The crowd is on Vitamin X, booing him loudly. “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* COACH HE IS NOT! COLE These fans think so! COACH So what!? They don’t count! Vitamin X stomps on PRL some more. He then picks Tha Puerto Rican up. PRL is dazed, groggy, and breathing hard. Vitamin X punches PRL in the face! PRL falls back down to the mat! COLE Will Tha Puerto Rican be 100% for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship Match at OAOAST AngleMania VII? COACH How can you say such a thing!? OF COURSE NOT! Vitamin X picks Tha Puerto Rican up. He punches him in the face again! PRL falls back down to the mat! Vitamin X picks Tha Puerto Rican up again. He punches TPR in the face again! And again! And again! X starts jukin’ and jivin’. Vitamin X punches PRL right in the face. Vitamin X punches PRL right in the face again! X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle to LOUD boos. VX punches PRL right in the face a third time, and PRL falls back down to the mat once again! PRL slowly sits up. He breathes hard as he crawls around the ring. Puerto Rican rests on a second ring rope. Once there, Vitamin X places his right leg over Tha Puerto Rican’s head and chokes him on the second ring rope! X jumps up, and then jumps down, crashing all his weight onto Tha Puerto Rican’s back! VX gets off of Tha Puerto Rican, takes a few steps back, and then jumps up, jumping down once more, hitting PRL in the back with his right knee! VX then claws at PRL’s face! COLE Stephen Joseph Popick is looking to successfully retain his OAOAST World Heavyweight Title at AngleMania VII this Sunday, thereby extending his OAOAST World Heavyweight Title reign for another month! COACH Yes! That’s what we’re all hoping for! COLE No! That’s what SOME people are hoping for! Popick is hoping to FINALLY get Tha Puerto Rican out of his CORPORATE hair! COACH FOREVER! Once and for all! Earl Hebner tells Vitamin X to stop clawing at PRL’s face. “COME ON NOW! BREAK IT UP! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIV--” Vitamin X scratches PRL’s eyes, and then stops clawing at his face. Vitamin X taunts PRL as he recovers on the second rope. VITAMIN X COME ON CHUMP! YOU AIN’T NOTHING! NOTHING! VX laughs manically. P.R. starts to get up, groggy, so VX chuckles and then picks PRL up. X has a smirk on his face as he punches PRL in the face several times. Prince Vitamin sets PRL up against the ring ropes, grabs Puerto’s left wrist, and then gives him an Irish whip into the opposite ropes. Vitamin X goes for a clothesline, Tha Puerto Rican ducks the clothesline, stops in his tracks, and then turns around, grabbing Vitamin X by his head to apply a Sleeperhold on him! COACH Oh no! Look out! COLE Sleeperhold! Sleeperhold now on Vitamin X! Vitamin X flails his arms around while the crowd cheers loudly! PRL cinches the Sleeperhold tight on The Second-In-Command of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation! COLE Tha Puerto Rican trying to get that right arm up on the forehead! COACH Come on X! Don’t let that punk embarrass you before AngleMania! Vitamin X becomes tired quickly…but then finds the strength in himself to run into a turnbuckle corner, causing PRL’s back to hit the turnbuckle HARD! He then slams his back against the turnbuckle again for good measure! Tha Puerto Rican’s grip on Vitamin X’s head is weakened, so VX escapes the Sleeperhold. VX stumbles out of the turnbuckle corner. PRL then stumbles out of the turnbuckle corner. Vitamin X gives PRL a clothesline, knocking him down onto the mat! VITAMIN X BOO-YAH~! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Vitamin X the last wrestler in The Corporate Gauntlet! If PRL beats X, he wins the Gauntlet! COACH Doesn’t look like he will beat him right now! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! Vitamin X taunts PRL. He does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle to LOUD boos! VX calls for Stephen Joseph Popick to hand him something. Popick throws Vitamin X…a Kendo Stick. COLE What the--? What--? What the hell? COACH A Kendo Stick! What a great weapon to use! COLE What’s a Kendo Stick doing there? Where did it come from? COACH From under the ring, silly! Vitamin X grabs the Kendo Stick. He twirls the Kendo Stick in his right hand with an evil smile on his face. The crowd boos loudly. COLE Oh come on now! COACH HA! HA! COLE Vitamin X now has a Kendo Stick in his possession! COACH Here comes trouble! PRL is lying on the mat. Vitamin X waits for PRL to get up. He has a sneer on his face. When Tha Puerto Rican gets to his hands and knees, *THWACK!* Vitamin X slams the Kendo Stick across Tha Puerto Rican’s back! COACH Yes! Tha Puerto Rican slowly gets back to his hands and knees. *THWACK!* Vitamin X slams the Kendo Stick across Tha Puerto Rican’s back again! COACH Yes! Use that Kendo Stick until it breaks, baby! COLE Vitamin X in control of PRL thanks to that Kendo Stick! COACH This is great! I love it! HA! HA! HA! VX slams the Kendo Stick across Tha Puerto Rican’s back again and again! He does it 4 more times, causing the crowd to groan with each shot! Earl Hebner orders X to drop the Kendo Stick, but The X-Man isn’t paying attention, continuously using the Kendo Stick on Tha Puerto Rican’s back with a sneer etched on his face! COLE Can you imagine the pain? The anguish PRL is feeling!? That Kendo Stick being repeatedly slammed into his back! His back must be sore by now! COACH That’s EXACTLY why he’s doing it in the first place, Michael! Brilliant idea from the Brains of Brains & Brawn! *THWACK!* *THWACK!* *THWACK!* *THWACK!* *THWACK!* Vitamin X still slams the Kendo Stick across Tha Puerto Rican’s back! COACH Put it to him! Vitamin X slams the Kendo Stick across Tha Puerto Rican’s back once more! COLE Not again! COACH Oh that will hurt you! This could finish off PRL! Oh wow! Vitamin X slams the Kendo Stick across Tha Puerto Rican’s back repeatedly as PRL desperately tries to crawl away to safety! COLE PRL can’t escape from that damn Kendo Stick! COACH He can’t escape from The X-Man, and it was foolish for him to think that he could! Vitamin X slams the Kendo Stick across Tha Puerto Rican’s back some more! PRL crawls over to a bottom ring rope. He rests his head on the bottom ring rope…but Vitamin X STILL slams the Kendo Stick, this time across Tha Puerto Rican’s stomach! COLE And now to the stomach! Vitamin X using that Kendo Stick on PRL’s stomach now! COACH PRL’s gonna be sore all the way until AngleMania now! COLE He just might, Coach! He just might! COACH THIS is for Princess Stacey! Vitamin X slams the Kendo Stick across Tha Puerto Rican’s stomach again! And again! And again! And again! And again! And again! And again! And again! And again! And again! PRL falls onto the mat. Vitamin X is still hitting PRL with the Kendo Stick to the stomach, even as Earl Hebner tries to get X to stop doing that. COACH Believe me, Michael Cole, he can’t take many more of these! Come on X! Pound him! Make him suffer for giving Princess Stacey the P.R. Nightmare! COLE Vitamin X hammering PRL senseless! Vitamin X is still slamming the Kendo Stick across Tha Puerto Rican’s stomach…until he gets an order from Stephen Joseph not to do it anymore. X still continues using the Kendo Stick on PRL until Popick screams at X to stop. Rock Hard Brickston is screaming for X to continue using the Kendo Stick on Puerto. COLE And now what!? Stephen Joseph Popick is on the ring apron. Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick is telling her husband to get back down, but Stephen Joseph tells his wife that he’s got everything under control. Vitamin X walks towards his boss with the Kendo Stick (now almost split in half) in his right hand. COLE PRL is writhing in pain! COACH What is Popick saying now? Stephen Joseph Popick enters the ring. He tells Vitamin X to go back to the outside. X is confused, wondering why he shouldn’t just pin Tha Puerto Rican right now seeing as how he is almost incapacitated. But Popick tells X to just leave the ring. X and Popick get into a little argument, but X does succumb to his boss’ orders and leaves the ring, but not before stomping on Tha Puerto Rican one more time! COLE PRL may be passed out! COACH Good. “ASSSS-HOLE!” “ASSSS-HOLE!” “ASSSS-HOLE!” “ASSSS-HOLE!” COLE And what’s Stephen Joseph doing now!? COACH I-I-I don’t know! I don’t get it! Vitamin X glances over at Popick and then leaves the ring with the Kendo Stick in his right hand. Stephen Joseph Popick directs X out of the ring, where he joins the rest of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation on the outside. Afterwards, Stephen Joseph Popick unbuttons his tan sports jacket. COACH He’s ordered Vitamin X out of the ring! COLE What? COACH What’s he doing!? COLE He’s not part of The Corporate Gauntlet! Stephen Joseph Popick takes off his tan sports jacket and then throws it to Lindsay. COLE What the hell is he doing in the ring? Popick removes his black turtleneck and also throws it to Lindsay. COACH Look at this! COLE Oh come on! Popick laughs evilly, now shirtless. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Game over! Stephen Joseph Popick walks with a swagger towards the fallen PRL. COLE Come on now! COACH Look at this! Look at this! Stephen Joseph gets down on his hands and knees and taunts Tha Puerto Rican. He then covers Tha Puerto Rican, hooking his right leg! He orders Earl Hebner to make the count. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK MAKE THE COUNT! MAKE THE COUNT, DAMNIT! MAKE IT NOW! COLE Coach, PRL is out cold! And wait a minute! No! Not this! COACH Yes! Stephen Joseph Popick continues ordering Earl Hebner to make the count or face bodily harm. Earl Hebner gulps and then gets down on his hands and knees. 1... STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK THAT’S RIGHT! ONE! COUNT HIM AGAIN! 2... POPICK TWO! YEAH! THAT’S IT! COUNT HIM AGAIN YOU SON OF A BITCH! 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! POPICK THREE! YES! YES! YES! *DING DING DING* (10:27) “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE I don’t believe this! This is ridiculous! COACH Popick won The Corporate Gauntlet! Popick won The Corporate Gauntlet! COLE He wasn’t even IN The Corporate Gauntlet! COACH He’s the leader of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation, therefore he is in The Corporate Gauntlet just because! COLE Oh you gotta be kidding me! Stephen Joseph does a lame fist pump. The crowd boos loudly. Garbage is thrown into the ring. The rest of the SJPC celebrate on the outside. COLE PRL doesn’t even know what happened to him! COACH He’ll know when he wakes up! Pipe down! Popick stands up. He walks with a swagger around the ring. Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick blows Stephen Joseph a kiss, but he is not paying attention. VITAMIN X ALL RIGHT POPICK! ROCK HARD BRICKSTON WAY TO GO! CUBAN WALL ATTA BOY, POPICK! SPANISH FLY YEAH! PRINCESS STACEY STUPENDOUS, POPICK! THE BONE THUG … THOMAS RODRIGUEZ EXCELLENT WORK, BOSS! MRS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ-POPICK THAT’S MY BABY! MR. BORICUA GRRRRRRRRRRRR! Popick orders for the ringside attendant to hand him the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt. BUFFER The winner of The Corporate Gauntlet by pinfall over Tha Puerto Rican…the One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the Wooooooorrrrrrrlllllllllllllddddddddddddddddddddddddd….STEPHEN JOSEPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH POPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! Stephen Joseph Popick raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in the air with his left hand. He has the McMahon SNEER~! etched on his face. The crowd boos loudly. The SJPC members applaud their leader. COLE Coach, Vitamin X just forced Michael Buffer to make that announcement! COACH It’s what really happened, and it is a preview of what’s to come at OAOAST AngleMania VII this Sunday! You just got a look into your future, PRL! And it ain’t pretty! Garbage is thrown into the ring. Stephen Joseph Popick orders his Corporation to enter the ring. Vitamin X, Rock Hard Brickston, Cuban Wall, Spanish Fly, The Bone Thug, Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, Thomas Rodriguez, Princess Stacey and Mr. Boricua all enter the ring with evil smiles on their faces. COLE And now here come the rest of the pack of dogs! Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, Princess Stacey, Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug, Spanish Fly, Thomas Rodriguez and Rock Hard Brickston all grab Tha Puerto Rican and drag him into a turnbuckle corner, thus waking him up. They all exit the ring and hold him there, PRL’s head resting on the bottom turnbuckle pad. Garbage is still thrown into the ring. PRL runs his mouth, FURIOUS with Popick! Vitamin X jams the Kendo Stick against PR’s throat to shut him up! COLE PRL being held against his will! For what reason!? COACH Just shut up and watch, Michael! Stephen Joseph Popick has an evil smile on his face. He walks with a swagger up to Tha Puerto Rican. PRL is yelling at Popick while being held back by the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation. Stephen Joseph Popick taunts Tha Puerto Rican and then points to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt. COLE Popick taunting Tha Puerto Rican, reminding me of what he wants more than anything in the entire world! COACH And he’s not gonna get it! Not this Sunday, not EVER! HA! HA! HA! HA! Stephen Joseph Popick shoves the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt into Tha Puerto Rican’s face. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK This is as close as you are going to get to the Title, PR! THIS IS AS CLOSE AS YOU’RE GOING TO GET! THIS IS IT! THIS IS AS CLOSE AS YOU’RE GONNA GET! YOU CAN’T BEAT ME! YOU’RE NOT BETTER THAN ME! YOU’RE GONNA CHOKE ON SUNDAY! YOU ARE GONNA FAIL ON SUNDAY! YOU CAN’T WIN! YOU CAN’T DO IT! YOU WILL FALL ON SUNDAY! YOU WILL FALL! COLE Look at PRL! He’s seething! Stephen Joseph Popick’s face is turning red from all of the yelling that he is doing! Tha Puerto Rican sneers at Popick as he is being forced to hear all of this. Popick points a menacing finger at Tha Puerto Rican. The Corporation members are all cheering on Popick and taunting Tha Puerto Rican outside of the ring. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK How does that feel!? HOW DOES THAT FEEL, HUH!? DO YOU LIKE THAT!? DO YOU LIKE THAT!? Let me tell you something. After this Sunday, you will NEVER EVER EVER AGAIN FEEL THE SAME! GET THAT OFF OF HIS THROAT! Vitamin X removes the Kendo Stick from Tha Puerto Rican’s throat. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK THE OAOAST WILL NEVER EVER EVER EVER BE THE SAME FOR YOU EVER AGAIN! YOU WILL NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER BE THE SAME AGAIN AFTER THIS SUNDAY! I AM GOING TO MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL AT ANGLEMANIA VII AND BEYOND! YOU WILL BOW DOWN TO ME THROUGH HELL OR HIGH WATER! YOU WILL FALL TO ME THIS SUNDAY NIGHT! Stephen Joseph Popick grabs Tha Puerto Rican by his jaw and points a menacing finger at him. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK YOU WILL NEVER EVER EVER EVER BE THE SAME AGAIN AFTER I BEAT YOU AT ANGLEMANIA VII THIS SUNDAY! YOU ARE WAY OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE, P.R.! I’VE GOT YOU RIGHT WHERE I WANT YOU AND I WILL STRIKE WITH THE DEATH BLOW THIS COMING SUNDAY! YOU WILL HAVE THE GREATEST LOSS OF YOUR CAREER AT ANGLEMANIA VII! YOU WILL LOSE! I WILL BREAK YOU! YOU WILL NOT BEAT ME AT ANGLEMANIA VII! YOU WILL NEVER BEAT ME! NEVER! EVER! EVER! EVER! EVER! Stephen Joseph Popick throws the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt aside and gets into Tha Puerto Rican’s face! He uses the top ring rope to prevent himself from falling onto the mat as he yells at Tha Puerto Rican! The SJPC members still hold Tha Puerto Rican back! COLE Some last minute mind games from Stephen Joseph Popick! We are just 72 hours away from the biggest match of both men’s careers! COACH It’s going to be a classic, Cole! I can’t wait! The Final Destruction Of Tha Puerto Rican is this Sunday at OAOAST AngleMania VII! Stephen Joseph Popick continues yelling at Tha Puerto Rican. Tha Puerto Rican responds the only way he knows how. THA PUERTO RICAN FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER! THA PUERTO RICAN FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK NEVER BE THE SAME! NEVER! EVER! EVER! EVER! EVER! EVER! EVER! EVER! EVER! EVER! EVER! EVER! EVER! EVER! EVER! EVER! EVER! EVER! EVER! COLE Stephen Joseph Popick says that Tha Puerto Rican will never be the same after this Sunday at OAOAST AngleMania VII! COACH It won’t be! Tha Puerto Rican is in for the fight of his life come AngleMania VII! COLE He just might be! He is going for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title again! Will Tha Puerto Rican FINALLY achieve his goal? Or is Stephen Joseph Popick going to have another successful Title defense? We will find that out AND MORE this Sunday night, March 30, 2008, from the SOLD OUT Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum in Los Angeles, California for OAOAST AngleMania VII! Fans, that’s all of the time that we have for this week’s OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Thanks for tuning in! For Jonathan “Da Coach” Coachman, I’m Michael Cole saying so long and we will see you this Sunday night at OAOAST AngleMania VII! Vitamin X, Princess Stacey, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, The Bone Thug, Rock Hard Brickston, Spanish Fly and Thomas Rodriguez are still holding Tha Puerto Rican back in the turnbuckle corner. They all have evil smiles on their faces. Stephen Joseph Popick is still yelling at Tha Puerto Rican. Tha Puerto Rican is yelling back. Earl Hebner tries to get Popick to stop yelling at PRL, but Popick is not paying attention. The OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt lies on the mat. The crowd boos loudly. Garbage is still being thrown into the ring. The camera does a close-up shot of Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick yelling at each other face-to-face, PRL still being held back by the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation. PRL and Popick spew venom at each other, their faces red, their eyes bulging out, their veins about to pop out. PRL and Popick yell at each other with ANGER and RAGE in their eyes! We end the show (and head into OAOAST AngleMania VII) by hearing Tha Puerto Rican yelling. We fade to black with Tha Puerto Rican yelling the following words: THA PUERTO RICAN FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK Y-- FADE TO BLACK

COLE From Fresno we head to Los Angeles for the biggest show in OAOAST history, Anglemania Seven! One hundred thousand fans will be joining us in the Memorial Coliseum and billions will be on the edge of their sofa cushions watching at home. And just in case you still haven't decided on whether you should order the show or not, let Coach and I give you a run down of the card. Alix's Californiacation plays over the matchup graphics I haven't even begun to start working on, as Double C begins running through the matches. ~The Enterprise Vs The Christ Air Express & The Lonestar Gunslingers~ COACH Yo, for a bunch of white dudes The Enterprise keep it gully and hood. No wonder they got problems with whitebread punks Baron Windells, and The Christ Air Express. Jock is my man, though. But he's gonna have to put in the match of a lifetime to carry his loser team to a win in the Anglemania opening match! ~Crybaby match for United States Title: Colombian Heat Vs Spanish Fly~ COLE A classic good friends better enemies match for the United States Title. With a unique twist, one unlucky superstar will be sporting a diaper when its all said and done! Heat better keep an eye on John Brickston. ~Reject and ThunderKid Vs The Burroughs Boys~ COACH Reject and ThunderKid get the band back together to deal with Reject's angry ex-buds The Burroughs Boys. Does the experience of ThunderKid and Reject have the advantage? Or do the numbers of their opponents win out? ~Stairway To Oblivion II: James Cone Vs Jester~ COLE The Lunar Phoenix James Cone comes back to Anglemania for the first time in four years! But the mysterious Jester is looking to make his latest Anglemania appearance his last one in the OAOAST! ~One and Only World Tag Team Champions: Team Heyross Vs The Heavenly Rockers~ COACH Respect ain't been easy to come by for Team Heyross, but they got a chance to earn it and the One and Only Tag team titles by beating The Heavenly Rockers. ~Heartland Title: Alfdogg Vs Sandman9000 COLE OAOAST Legends Alfdogg and Sandman9000 Square off for the Heartland Title! There have been many bloody battles waged over the Heartland Title but none as intense as this one promises to be. ~Todd Cortez Vs Landon Maddix~ COLE Todd Cortez, showing no respect for the nigga that brung him to the dance, tries to man up with his silly ass piledriver and put the hurt on Landon Maddix. Watch and marvel as Todd Cortez gets made a fool of by the OAOAST wrestler of the year and SWF commissioner! ~Bohemoth Vs Zack Malibu~ COLE Nobody is held in greater esteem and respect by the OAOAST brass then Zack Malibu. But Bohmeoth wants what Zack has had for years. Can he knock off The Franchise and rocket himself up the ladder? ~Alix Maria Spezia Vs Krista Isadora Duncan~ COACH We goin' California dreamin with two California girls. Record holding four time tag team champions Alix Maria Spezia and Krista Isadora Duncan meet for the first time ever right in their hometown, Los Angeles! ~OAOAST World Title: Stephen Joseph Vs Tha Puerto Rican~ COLE Stephen Joseph stunned the world when he beat Landon Maddix at the Halloween Spectacular for the OAOAST World Title. Almost eight months to the day, he, is going to be facing his toughest challenge yet. His former best friend and client, Tha Puerto Rican. But SJ will have backup on his side with Vitamin X working as the special guest referee! AND MORE (as in other stuff probably got added after I already wrote this segment) Anglemania Seven Los Angeles, California The Swag is back and niggas ARE concerned The always cool Maggie Nerdly is at the OAOAST ActionZone. MAGGIE What's good, ya'll? Its your girl on the scene, and women's champ, holdin down here in the studio. Ya'll gotta join me for this week's AfterParty. With Anglemania coming up, we're doin it real b-i-g style. Alix and Krista'll take us on their own tours of Los Angeles, Bo shows us how's he's been preparing for his match with Zack Malibu, Team Heyross' go back to their old highschools where they got their start in wrestling, Reject and Thunderkid rap about teaming again, and OAOAST superstars like Vitamin X, Doctor Anderson, Jumbo, and James Riggs talk about the first ever Stairway to Oblivion. Check it out on the Afterparty!

OAOAST HeldDOWN is brought to you by... OAOASTShop-Just cuz ur lame enuff to wear wrestling shirts doesn't mean you have to look like it also! Now Available! And drum roll plzz...bum bum bum dum dum mum mum mum...daa daa daa DAAAAA! We return to Sofa Central where our announce team is now sporting that super cool Anglemania t-shirt. And Coach is sporting some bandages and a black eye. Thanks Biff! COLE Okay folks over the past couple weeks we've been hearing from various celebrities on who they think is going to emerge the winner between Alix and Krista. Let's see what a few more have to say. NBA legend Bill Walton is shown inside ESPN studios WALTON Krista is a lot like Manu Ginobli of the San Antonio Spurs, someone who makes magical and amazing plays that have never been seen before by the likes of man. Alix is dating Mackenzie DeCenzo who is the worst person...in the history of western civilization! The things that woman says...absolutely horrible words from a absolutely horrible person! Planet earth is no place for that kind of miserable human being! Snoop Dogg is relaxing at his home in California SNOOP It's a shame this match is even taking place. What we need ain't predictions here. Its love, baby. You understand? Love is what makes the earth go round and round. You could take anything off the face of the world and the world will continue to move. If you take loveoff the face of the earth the world will stop. I honestly know it and believe it. Every movie that comes out has to have some type or form of love in it. If you take love outta someone, eventually they gonna wither and die. What needs to be done is they just gotta get together, and make love happen again. Ain't no need for fightin. We see former OAOAST superstar Marcellus Wallace sitting on the front porch of a rundown Compton house. WALLACE The fuck is you askin me for? Ya'll put my black ass in that section, or did you forget? I'm back in my mama's house, with a crib that be lookin super ghetto. Looks like a house in Baghdad after the US invasion. I ain't even got a remote controlled tv. I gots me one of them turn the knobs TV. Niggas never really chill at myplace cuz the place is a shithole, but we usually shoot hoops by the court near the house. Once me and Vincent was shooting hoops with at the court and Vincent tells me to let 'em in the house 'cause he need to jump on the toilet. I said aight and took him there. Now when we got to the house I asked , "you gon do number 1 or 2?" Vincent said "man, why you wanna know?" I told him "cuz if you gon do number 1 I was gonna give you a bottle, if you was gonna do number 2 then I was gonna give you a plastic bag. “ Vincent said "you tryna be funny, son?" And I said I be on the serious. Me and my fam put the plastic bag between our legs when they in the bathroom, squat and take a dump, then they get another plastic bag and put the one with the shit in it into the bag, and then throw it out! Ya'll homos got me livin like this! And now, the OAOAST SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK, presented by Beauty Crush, the much anticipated Alix Maria Spezia debut CD! LAST WEEK Located backstage at our interview area, OAOAST special correspondent Tony Brannigan with the Lone Star Gunslingers and Melody Nerdly. TONY Guys, we’ve seen the footage and heard the rumblings. First of all, how is your health, Jock? And secondly, is there dissention within the ranks? MELODY JOCK I’m just fine, thank you for asking. Took a nasty fall last week, but fortunately I didn’t suffer any conundrum. TONY You sure about that? JOCK Listen Brannigan, I know it must still eat you alive that I basically ended Black T’s dominance over the tag division when the Lone Star Gunslingers eliminated ya’ll from the Anderson Cup a few years back. Now that you’re a member of the media I understand part of the job is to stir up you-know-what. But I’m here to tell you and everyone watching, there is NO dissention between Baron and myself. It’s been a bumpy ride since losing the gold, but that all changes tonight. BARON The OAOAST tag division is brutal, quite like the NBA Western Conference. Every game in the West is a battle, just as every match in the OAOAST is. There are no easy match-ups. You could be on the top one moment and down at the bottom the next. Believe me, we know because we’re experiencing it right now. But as Jock said that all changes tonight and continues onto AngleMania and keeps on truckin’ until the OAO World tag team titles are back where they belong. TONY That does it from here. Let’s go back to the ring! "YEOW!" "Money Talks" by AC/DC blasts over the speakers and out walk the best dressed men in the OAOAST, along with their Director of Security. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Currently on their way to the ring, accompanied by CPA, representing THE ENTERPRISE… “THE NATURAL” CHRISTIAN WRIGHT and “THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR” THEODORE MONEYMAKER!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The jeers turn to cheers as “Thriller” by Fall Out Boy hits and the Gunslingers head to the ring. Jock not showing any lingering effects from last week, smiling and slapping hands along with Baron and Melody. BUFFER And their opponents! Led down the aisle by their manager MELODY NERDLY, from San Antonio, Texas, total combine weight 487 pounds, the former… JOCK BUFFER …One & Only tag team champions of the world, JOCK MULLIGAN and BARON WINDELS… THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGEERRRRRSSSS!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Melody attempts to calm Jock as he mouths off at ring announcer Michael Buffer. COLE Jock still peeved about he and Baron no longer being tag team champions. COACH He ought to be. Baron’s the one who lost them. COLE What is with you trying to stir up trouble between Jock Mulligan and Baron Windels? COACH I’m a commentator, Cole. That means I’m paid to comment on what I see. And what I see is Baron Windels sabotaging the career of a man he calls his friend because he’s starting to realize Jock’s the better man and the reason for the team‘s success. COLE That’s ridiculous. Jock and Baron are like brothers. It’s all for one and one for all. Teddy and CW quickly decided who’ll start for their team, but it’s more problematic for the Gunslingers as both want the nod, with Baron’s argument being to ease Jock in rather than throw him into the fire right away. Melody agrees and Jock reluctantly exits. COACH You want to talk about ridiculous. Now it’s 2 against 1. COLE * DINGDINGDING * Baron Windels and Christian Wright lockup as the bell sounds, and CW wastes no time delivering a cheap shot, jabbing his knee into Baron’s midsection. Chopped down to size Windels is staggered by a series of European uppercuts. A tag is made and Baron Windels is sent for the ride, the victim of a double back elbow from Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright on the rebound. The Billion Dollar Heir follows up with A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS, but nobody’s home and Moneymaker smashes his fist into the canvas! “YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” Jock readies for the tag as Baron wrings Theodore‘s arm, his foot already on the second turnbuckle in preparation to deliver a top rope double axe handle smash, but it doesn’t come. Instead Baron wrings the arm a second time, flipping Teddy over and leaving Jock perplexed. Windels drops his leg down across Moneymaker’s arm and bars it. COACH He’s freezing Jock out of the match, Cole. That was a perfect time to make a tag and Baron left his best friend hanging on the apron. Jock must’ve felt like a fool standing there waiting for the tag. Theodore returns to a vertical base and pops Baron in the face, shooting him off after, only to have Baron leapfrog over and bring him down in a side headlock. Moneymaker rolls Windels onto his back… ONE! TWO! …and nearly scores the pin. A firm believer in the phrase, “If at first you don’t succeed, try again,” Teddy attempts to fire Baron off a second time, but it’s reversed and the Billion Dollar Heir is caught on the rebound with the MYSPACE COMEBACK~! “YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” Just as he’s about to go for the cover Baron spots CW charging in and backdrops the D.C. native. Windels continues his assault, mixing Texas sized rights and Cowboy Bebop elbows. Wright then goes for the ride and eats a size 13 (BIG) BOOT! “BARON!” “BARON!” “BARON!” With the fans chanting his name and Jock and Melody cheering him on, Baron climbs the buckles and levels Theodore Moneymaker with a TOP ROPE LARIAT!! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Jock asks for the tag but is told he isn’t ready. This leads to a brief argument that enables Moneymaker to RAKE the eyes and take Windels to the mat with a swinging neck breaker! COACH What is this guy’s problem, Cole? If he doesn’t have some hidden agenda, then why didn’t he tag Jock when presented the opportunity a second time? COLE Baron only has Jock’s best interest in mind. Every competitor no matter how badly injured wants to go. Quite frankly, I don’t think Jock should’ve even been cleared to wrestle tonight. What the Lone Star Gunslingers argued to do Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright don’t, and that’s make a tag, as the Natural comes off the middle rope with an elbow to the heart of Baron Windels. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! CW baits Jock in to distract the ref as he and Teddy stomp Baron. Even CPA lands a cheap shot of his own, driving his forearm into the side of Baron's head. Once the damage has been done Moneymaker is back on the apron before Charles Robinson even turns around. Irish whip, and the Natural connects with a SNAP POWERSLAM! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Baron just gets his shoulder off the mat. Teddy returns and successfully executes a gut wrench suplex, and then pops right up to drop A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS! ONE… TWO… And Baron kicks out again. “BARON!” “BARON!” “BARON!” Moneymaker and Wright make yet another tag, and they follow with a double suplex. CW then goes up top and crashes all his weight down onto Baron with a FROG SPLASH!! ONE… TWO… SAVE BY JOCK! But the Texas Twister isn’t done there, firing Christian across and telling him to BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS! COACH Get him out of there, Charles. He’s not the legal man! Enter Theodore Moneymaker to confront Jock, who decks the Billion Dollar Heir with a DISCUS PUNCH! COLE Oh, yeah! What about Jock Mulligan now, Coach? COACH I think I liked this guy better on the apron. Jock helps Baron to their corner and TAGS HIMSELF IN! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" MELODY The Texas Twister looks to finish what he started, whipping Moneymaker in for a dropkick flush to the jaw, and then catches Wright sneaking up from behind with a belly-to-belly suplex! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Jock signals for Nerdvana, bringing CPA up on the apron to grab his attention. The only attention he receives however is from MELODY NERDLY, who dare tries to yank him down. CPA does on his own accord and sets her up for the HR Blockbuster (Dominator). COLE Oh, no! COACH Oh, yes! Thankfully Baron Windels comes to the rescue, BASHING CPA across the back with a STEEL CHAIR! Meanwhile, Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright have jumped on Jock Mulligan inside the ring. They whip him into the ropes, but he leapfrogs both men on the rebound and wipes them out with a HIGH CROSS BODY PURPLE MONKEY DISHWASHER!! COLE Jock’s got them both pinned! ONE… TWO… THREE! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" NO, KICKOUT!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Teddy rolls out to the floor and the Gunslingers set their sights on the legal man, Christian Wright, nailing him with the ARKANSAS TOOTHPICK. Jock motions for the Lone Star Lasso, but Moneymaker trips up Baron as he bounces off the near side, causing him to fall into Jock’s knee! COLE Oh, my! Baron accidentally clipped Jock! COACH Yeah, right. He clipped him on purpose. COLE Give me a break! You know it was an accident. Moneymaker instructs CPA to pull Baron outside and whip him against the guardrail as CW easily hooks the WALLSTREET CLOVERLEAF! COLE Come on, Jock. Hang in there. Despite encouragement from Melody and the fans, the pain is too much for Jock to bear and he submits. * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners, the team of THEODORE MONEYMAKER and CHRISTIAN WRIGHT!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The match officially over Christian Wright refuses to break the hold. “Where’s your partner now?” Theodore Moneymaker asks while stomping the back of Jock Mulligan’s head. Suddenly Melody dashes backstage and returns with her brothers, the CHRIST AIR EXPRESS! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Wright and Moneymaker head for higher ground, the damage already done as the Beverly Hills Blonds join them onstage in a show of force. COLE You can be sure there will be hell to pay this weekend at AngleMania when the Enterprise does battle with the Christ Air Express and Lone Star Gunslingers. THIS WEEKEND Logan Usher Mann vs. Quentin Benjamin CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS

COLE Last week we were scheduled to see The Love Doctors in action against The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew, but unfortunately, circumstances beyond our control lead to that match being postponed. During HeldDOWN~! last week, one of our wrestlers Biff Atlas had an unfortunate accident, tripping over a television cable and knocking himself temporarily unconscious. Luckily Windy City's finest, Dr. Anderson and Dr. Pigley, were on hand to tend to Atlas and thankfully he was released from a local Denver hospital on Friday evening after undergoing routine brain-scans. So The Docs missed out on their match last week, but they'll get their shot here tonight in Fresno instead. With that said, let's go to the ring. *WHIIIR!* *WHIIIR!* "Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case of lovin' you No pill's gonna cure my ill I've got a bad case of lovin' you" The sirens sound off as The Love Doctors bound out onto the stage, answering the emergency call of OAOAST officials who realised most guys on the AngleMania card aren't going to be wrestling tonight! The Docs whip the females of Fresno into a frenzy as they pull off their lab-coats before heading to the ring. Dr. Pigley isn't the object of as much desire however, as he covers his heart winning abs with a t-shirt plugging his new radio show, The Love Line. BUFFER The following tag team contest is set for one fall. On the way to the ring, from Chicago, Illinois... at a total combined weight of four hundred and thirty six pounds... DR. MAX ANDERSON and DR. STEVEN PIGLEY... THE LLLOOOOOOOOOVVEEEEEE DDOOOOOOOOOCCTTOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE All of our great fans in the Chicago area, you can catch Dr. Pigley on your local radio, as he provides the cure for your relationship issues. That's The Love Line, every Wednesday at 7! COACH You are such a shill. COLE Nothing wrong with giving one of our great OAOAST superstars a mention now and then for their work outside the ring. Besides, I'm just reading what's in front of me. I've no stake in it. COACH That's why you've been wearing the same t-shirt as Pigley all night? Inopportunely, Pigley chooses this moment to point out the shirt and give Cole a thumbs up. Cue much stammering, while the soothing sounds of "Easy Lover" begin to play out through the arena. Out through the entrance swaggers Rico de Janeiro with Lucius Soul trailing behind, fluffing up his 'fro with real determination. "Easy lover She'll get a hold on you believe it Like no other Before you know it you'll be on your knees" BUFFER And the opponents. Total combined weight, four hundred and thirteen pounds. The team of RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL... THE MAAARRRRRRDDIIIIIIII GGRRRRRAAAAAAAASSSSSSS HHOOOOOOMMMEEEWRECKING CCRRRREEEEEEWWWWWWWW-!!! Lucius slides into the ring, squaring up with The Docs. Lagging behind, Rico takes a moment to pick out a couple of female fans and shows off his trademark porn 'stache. COLE These two teams met in the first round of this year's Anderson Cup where The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew eeked out the victory. So The Docs will be out for some revenge in this one. COACH Well Rico and Lucius, they've got something to prove as well. I heard somebody earlier, they had the nerve to say that win was an upset. An upset. Against The Love Doctors! *DINGDINGDING!* With Rico still attempting to the woo the ladies, that leaves Lucius to kick it off with Dr. Pigley. Lucius talks some smack by way of an introduction, which goads Pigley into booting him in the gut! Pigley then unloads with some forearms before whipping Lucius off the ropes, scooping him up on the rebound and jarring him with an inverted atomic drop. Sneaking into the ring, Anderson then follows up with the dropkick to the face! COLE Lovematic Grampa, right off the bat! COACH One in, one out. This isn't a radio show, no co-anchors. COLE *sighs* If only... The Docs quickly scoop Lucius back up again, delivering chops from either side. They then shoot him off the ropes, putting him up and down with a Double Flapjack! Cover by Pigley, as Anderson retreats from the 5 count... 1... 2... No! Reacting late to his partner's troubles, Rico finally takes his eyes off the ladies and runs into the ring. The Love Doctors duck a double clothesline however and as he turns around, Pigley finally gets a free second and pulls off his t-shirt. "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH Woah, did this table just shift? COLE Grinning under his greasy moustache, Rico looks down at the Mardi Gras beads in his hand and tosses them to Pigley. After all, them's the rules. As Rico disturbingly strokes at the porn 'stache and Pigley wonders what the hell's going on, Dr. Anderson thankfully puts him down with a Lariat. COLE Further questions raised on this edition of HeldDOWN~! Out of the ring rolls Rico, leaving referee Brian Hebner to put Dr. Anderson out. But that distraction allows Lucius to get a quick cheapshot in behind the back, catching Pigley in the throat with a shot as he tries to pull him up. Pigley drops the beads and Lucius snatches them up, wrapping them around the throat and consealing the choke with his arm! By the time the referee turns around, all he sees is a harmless chinlock, unaware of the beads around the windpipe underneath! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Come on referee, get in there! Look at Pigley struggling for breath, it's obvious that's no regular chinlock! Pigley sinks down in the chinlock, the referee still unaware of the secret behind the chinlock's potency. And after a little distraction from Rico, Lucius manages to get the beads off the throat and out of the ring, making a cover on the lifeless Love Doctor... 1... 2... NO! Lucius tags out to Rico, who's able to measure a still breathless Pigley. A hard boot to the head keeps Pigley off the canvas. Rico then backs to the ropes, dropping the Porno 'Stache Legdrop and stroking the facial hair down all through the count... 1... 2... No! In comes Lucius to protest the count... allowing Rico to unravel his green wristtape and choke Pigley with it! Dr. Anderson tries to come in and help his partner, but is cut off by Hebner thanks to good timing on Soul's part. COLE And now again with the choke! This is ridiculous! COACH All I know is, every wannabee DJ in the Chicago land area is beaming right about now. Much more damage to the throat and I smell a relationship expert vacancy in tommorrow's job section. As Anderson is put to the outside, Rico quickly stashes the tape in his tights and waits for Hebner to turn around, before covering Pigley again... 1... 2... Kickout! Dragging Pigley into the wrong part of town, Rico tags Lucius back in. Hooking up the legs, Rico then waits for his partner to get into position, before falling backwards and slingshotting Pigley towards him... right into a Bicycle Kick!! Rico dusts his hands with satisfaction, while Lucius hooks a leg... 1... 2... SAVE BY ANDERSON! COACH Who even listens to the radio nowadays anyway? COLE Is now really the time to discuss that? As Anderson is again put out, Rico and Lucius try to take advantage by double-teaming Pigley. Sending him into the corner with a double whip, Rico then charges in with a clothesline, followed up by Lucius who throws a Yakuza Kick... but Pigley MOVES! Luckily for Lucius his foot hits the top turnbuckle pad and he's quickly back with Rico trying to cut Pigley off with a double clothesline. Tumbling underneath though, Pigley exits the ring on the aisle side. Lucius follows out after him, but Pigley slides right back in, scurrying through Rico's legs and MAKING THE TAG! COLE Here comes Dr. Anderson! COACH Insert lame pager joke here. Anderson comes in swinging, dropping Rico and Lucius with right hands, stopping only to fire up the Fresno crowd behind him. An irish whip sends Rico off the ropes, Anderson ducking his head looking for a backdrop. Rico puts on the brakes and lands with a kick. But as he then hits the ropes, Anderson follows a step behind and cracks him with an elbow right as he bounces off them! Lucius then runs into a right hand, Anderson continuing to take the fight to him... ...while, to the confusion of everyone, BIFF ATLAS can be seen walking around the ring. COLE What the hell is this? As the action continues in the ring, Biff rounds the ring, holding in his hand a bunch of cable-ties. He sternly tells Michael Buffer to 'step aside' before rummaging under the timekeeper's table, attaching his cable-ties to the cords lying around ringside. Biff then heads over to Sofa Central and starts rummaging under the announce table, turfing Cole and Coach out of their seats in the process. COLE Wha... what the hell are you doing!? BIFF Things have gotta be safer around here. Look at all these wires, this is an accident waiting to happen, I... COLE We're trying to call a match here for crying out loud. COACH Speak for yourself. BIFF Look, don't mind me, I'm just trying to make a better working environment out here. COLE Uh... in the ring, Anderson with a side headlock, shot off the ropes... Anderson underneath, look out here... HEY! Cole's monitor abruptly goes black, just as Anderson completes his headscissors takeover in the ring, sending Lucius spilling to the floor. Rico then tries to jump Anderson from behind, but finds himself backdropped up and over the top. COLE Would you get out of here already!! BIFF Not until the area has been made safe. You'll thank me when you're not laid up at home in a neckbrace... and you really need beverage holders for those coffee cups, one slip of the hand and... COLE Do you realise how many hundreds of shows we've done without tripping over these wires!? BIFF That's a pretty careless attitude to have Michael Cole. I mean, look at this table, it's set all wrong... here, lemme just... Cole and Coach are not the only ones distracted by all this commotion and they make that point, as Biff steps around the front of the announce table, trying to straighten it up. Meanwhile, in the ring, Dr. Anderson is on the move. Hitting the ropes, he launches himself through the top and middle AND WIPES OUT LUCIUS, RICO AND BIFF WITH ONE FAIR TOPÉ CON HÍLO!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH AH! COLE What!? COACH Biff was right, there's coffee everywhere! COLE Oh just get a towel or something. Jesus. Anderson quickly throws Lucius back inside, following him in and looking for an irish whip. With a twist of the hips Lucius manages to spin out in front, lifting Anderson up onto the shoulders for the Fro 2 Sleep... NO! Anderson slides down the back and shoves Lucius in the back. Rebounding off the ropes, Lucius ducks underneath and clothesline and comes roaring back... but he gets caught and PLANTED with the Anderson Spinebuster!! COLE Double A style, right in the centre of the ring! 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* Back in slides Pigley and The Love Doctors embrace in celebration, as on the outside Rico looks up from the floor and holds his head in his hands. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... THE LLOOOOOOOVVEEEE DDOOOOOCCTTOOOOORRRRSSSSSS!!! COLE A big win for The Docs here on HeldDOWN~!... and thankfully, Biff Atlas's general haplessness didn't prevent them from getting the victory for a second week in a row. COACH Hey, the guy was just trying to do as a favour. COLE Coach, he cable-tied your shoelace to our monitor cable. As Coach looks down and ponders how he's going to get out of this one, Biff pulls himself up. Holding his head he looks into the ring and glares at The Love Doctors' celebration, marching off towards the back, making extra sure he doesn't trip or slip on any upturned parts of the ringside mats on his way. COLE Okay, folks, Anglemania is coming up in a few days, and the excitement is at a fever pitch. Just because you won't be in the ring with the superstars of the OAOAST doesn't mean you can't get in on the action! Play the “Drop Dope Knowledge” Anglemania prediction game sponsored by Capcom for your chance to win a trip to Angleslam in San Antonio, Texas. COACH What kinda dork gonna be up on some corny ass fantasy wrestling shit on they weekend? SMH at these cornballs. Awwww snap, I gotta step for a bit to prepare for my MLB fantasy draft this weekend. Cross your fingers that Nick Swisher slips into the later rounds! And Coach gets up to check his fantasy team the "Seymour Buttpirates". And Coach forgets that his shoes are tied together. And Coach trips and falls flat on his face. And comedy thy name is OAOAST!!! COMMERCIAL COLE It's shaping up to be an epic night of action, this Sunday night at AngleMania VII. And one of the big grudge matches on the card added last week will see quote-un-quote 'team-mates' in competition. It was on February 14th that Landon Maddix defeated Todd Cortez to force him into the ranks of Cucaracha Internacional, where he claims that Cortez 'belongs'. But by virtue of winning the Torneo Cibernetico, Todd Cortez earned a match of his choosing at AngleMania, giving him an opportunity at one more shot at his 'new boss'. The history between these two men is long and storied. Maddix and Cortez first joined forces in the Winter of 2004 in the Smartmark Wrestling Federation and it's been a rocky road ever since, one which weaved it's way through the OAOAST in August 2006. Right now, SWF Commissioner Landon Maddix has been kind enough to open up the vaults of the SWF video library to allow us to document some of the highs and the lows. Let's take a look... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -THE EARLY DAYS OF MARTIAL LAW- -THE TAG TEAM GOLD- -THE DOWNFALL- -THE GENESIS (VI)- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE We thank the SWF for allowing us the access to that footage and with that in mind, we're joined at this time from New Jersey by SWF Commissioner Landon Maddix. The screen splits in two, with Landon Maddix popping up on the left side kicked back shoreside in Atlantic City. Landon takes a glance over his shoulder at the ocean behind him, zipping up his tracksuit top bearing the badge of the Spanish national football team on the breast. COLE And Landon, if you can hear us, we just saw a handful of the interactions between yourself and Todd Cortez in the SWF, including your match at Genesis VI. Todd Cortez won on that night... would it be safe to say, victory at AngleMania would be revenge in your mind? MADDIX First of all Michael, I'd like to know who exactly was responsible for the final edit of that little video package you just played. Maybe my eyes froze shut out here, but I could have sworn the footage I sent over included me defeating Todd Cortez in our Casino Brawl in Las Vegas, to name but one instance. COLE Uh, well, I'm not sure who cut it, but we'll look into that right away. MADDIX Please do. I'm just relieved you got the crucial part in there. The part that started this whole issue, when Todd Cortez turned his back on ME! Todd Cortez had the world at his feet when he was with me, he always did. You just showed it to the world... I was the one who won the SWF Tag Team Titles for us. I was the leader of Martial Law. And it was Todd Cortez who couldn't handle being second best. He saw what I had and he simply couldn't cope with being the sideline player, so he went and he stole it from me. That being Megan Skye. You know, there's a saying, "the more things change, the more they stay the same". The company may have changed, but the Todd Cortez of today is the same Todd Cortez who snuck around behind my back with my manager all those years ago in the SWF. He just couldn't handle being number two and he took something even more important from me, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! COLE ...wait... did you just saw the OAOAST Title is more important than Mega... MADDIX (ignoring Cole) The sad thing about this whole situation is, Todd Cortez is the best number two a guy could hope for. He comes in, he does his one big move and life carries on. You don't hear a word of complaint... then again, you barely hear a word of any form or function from the guy, but I digress. Todd Cortez couldn't come to terms with his role in life. And that's sad. You see, in this life there's winners and there's losers. That's life. The sooner you deal with that, the more you can enjoy it. I'm one of life's natural winners. Todd Cortez... not so much. He's okay, but he's not on my level. There's nothing wrong with that, that's the point I continually try to drum into his head, but the message doesn't seem to be sticking. See... Landon looks out into the ocean again. MADDIX ...see, I liken Todd Cortez and myself to my travel schedule this week. Todd Cortez is a lot like New Jersey. It's a fine enough place, once you get to know it, but you wouldn't want it as your main tourist attraction if you were the US government. Where-as I'm more like Los Angeles. I'm stylish. I'm exciting. I'm vibrant. I'm what everybody wants to see. Now, you don't see New Orleans spending all of it's money on creating it's own movie industry or celebrity culture, because it knows no matter how hard it tries, it'll never be Los Angeles. So it just gets on with being New Orleans, spending it's money on... uh... Landon sniffs the air and squirms a little. MADDIX ...well, you see where I'm going with this, right? COACH You're saying Todd Cortez stinks? MADDIX Well, not in so many words, but... COLE Landon, did it ever occur to you that maybe Todd Cortez has ambitions of his own and is just plain sick of being expected to be your lackey? Taking exception to that very suggestion, Landon asks the cameraman if he "can believe this guy". MADDIX Todd Cortez should be grateful to even be associated with me Michael Cole. Without me, he's nothing. He'd be back on the streets dodging drive-bys and immigration officers if not for me! I made Todd Cortez everything he is today and I'm going to remind him of that fact at AngleMania VII. And I'm going to KEEP reminding him of that fact until he finally realises his role in life and falls in line with the rest of Cucaracha Internacional. The sooner he falls in line, the easier things will be. Because, I've got bad news for Todd Cortez. You can harbour all the dreams you want, but happy endings don't happen for people like you! They happen to people like Landon Maddix! Winners, like Landon Maddix! And you can either tag along for the ride... or you can fade back into obscurity where you came from! COLE (trying to hide disgust) Landon Maddix, thank you. Folks, stay tuned for more OAOAST HeldDOWN after these messages. COMMERCIAL

with only three segments in, I can't really see the point of posting the show right now. So, I'll just hold off until tomorrow afternoon and wait for some other stuff to trickle in.

when we fight its Mister Met who suffers

really miley cyrus said hi to me! real recognize real and Hannah Montana recognize a real GOAT stunna The swag is spreading! Mbenga, Colby Karl are going to be all-stars under this dude Kobe. Shit is amazing to watch. And that boy Colby got enough cash already to make it rain on dude's sisters for a decade. what was on the show was good I thought. Nice work by all who submitted something. Um.....I left spaces for some other stuff to be edited in. I didn't do the coming up next thing for a couple matches so there's room for random miscellaneous stuff to be added in there also.

I would not stress about your AM match, ya'll have to know by now no PPV actually goes up on Sunday. Shit is unheard of and unamerican,b.

ay yo first off b suck a dick no homo second off the swagger is back and niiiggaz is concerned. third off what do you call a little sporty, hard bodied 14 year old mexican boy selling oranges on the exit ramp a: brunch! lolz no homo fourth off, after striking some shady deals with one of my main cats, I am moving this show back to the 14/th in the afternoon. shit if i gotta go in and shoot on friday i might push it back to saturday as a tru life QB should fifth off salutes to my man brett favre. I just bought some Wranglers my dudes. They’re a little uncomfortable, but Brett Favre wears them, and he’s a fun-loving guy, so I figured why not me too. I’m gonna get up this Saturday morning, throw on an old t-shirt and my new Wranglers, grab my football, run next door and wake up the neighbors and ask them if they wanna play some backyard football…just like Brett. It’ll be great, so who's with me? I think, when Brett Favre dies, ya know, they should make NEW footballs out of Favres skin. I mean what could be better than having pieces of the games greatest player in hands of all of us? Ya know and why stop there?!? Favre’s hair could used to make new Packer uniforms out of. I just think Brett Favre, is too good to just let go to waste, even after he dies.

for ur post show entertainment plz enjoi this GOAT Maury Quotable (to some fat 12 year old) "You can't be proud of having sex for a double cheeseburger with bacon"

THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD Ultimate Victory brings us to another episode of HeldDOWN on our road to Anglemania! It turns out Chamillionaire's CD has sold like 180,000 copies! In case you were wondering that ain't shit! Nigga you ain't got a moms or a bro or an agent who's willing throw down some duckets? You can't even buy an extra one for yourself??? Into the Pepsi Center we go where we stop nobody knows. Hey, wait, a second I do! We stop right on the greatest announce team in e-biz, Double C. Sitting in the plush confines of sofa central, they both sport the official Anglemania football jerseys. Cole continues to look like a herb as he rocks the Offical Anglemania football helmet, practice pads and mouth guard. COLE Folks, I'm Michael Cole here at ringside with The Coach for another edition of HeldDOWN! We come to you from Denver, Colorado and we are only two weeks away from the biggest show in history Anglemania VII from the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum! But tonight in our mainevent Los Angeles native Krista Isadora Duncan will finally get her chance to battle Theodore Moneymaker in no disqualification match! And I'll be joining the audience in rooting on Krista, that's for sure! COACH The only thing you can join is hands with another man in holy matrimony you bucket head bitch. I slap the Pom-Poms out your bitch hands and have you pick it up and do three cheers for The Enterprise! Hip-hip-you're gay! COLE I know you insult because you love. Also The Love Doctors have earned their way onto the big show to battle The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. Sandman teams with Team Heyross to face Alfdogg and The Heavenly Rockers, Jock Mulligan battles Christian Wright, and Vitamin X looks to recover from a loss to The Love Doctors against his old running buddy, and number one contender to the world title, Tha Puerto Rican in a street fight! There's big fallout from last week's awesome torneo cibernetico as well. Todd Cortez has his chance to pick his own match as a result of his win... COACH Over the man who's coattails he rode to moderate fame! God damn, you don't see Rick Fox up on TV trying to son the greatest negro dead or alive, Kobe “Bean” Bryant do you? The role player has to have respect for what the superstar brung him. You know what Todd Cortez is without Landon Maddix carrying him on his back? He's the skinny Mexican doing the job to Vinny on Syndicated. I'ma son the life out that bustah next time I see him. COLE Yeah, right, and Jumbo's about to be the blushing bride of Patrick Dempsey. Folks the OAOAST Spinebuster to last weeks Torneo Cibernetico, which is available to watch in its entirety on OAOAST.com And now, the OAOAST SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK, presented by Beauty Crush, the much anticipated Alix Maria Spezia debut CD! ONE WEEK AGO "Thriller" by Fallout Boy hits and the crowd goes crazy for Jock Mulligan. Well, at least the women and teenage girls do. The Texas Twister in no mood for hand slaps this evening, marching straight down the aisle with a look of determination on his face. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Currently on his way to the ring, accompanied by fellow Lone Star Gunslinger Baron Windels and Melody Nerdly…from San Antonio, Texas, weighing 232 pounds… “THE TEXAS TWISTER” JOCK MULLIGAN!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Jock slams his jacket down on the arena floor and signals for his opponent to come on out. COLE The Texas Twister still livid over his elimination by Christian Wright last week on the program. He so badly wanted to win the TC as did everyone involved in the bout. COACH You think Jock wanted it bad, apparently Baron wanted it worse. I mean to let your own partner be eliminated while you just stood on the apron and watch? Even I wouldn’t do that to you, Cole. I’d make we’d both survive so I could be the one to eliminate you! COLE That’s one of the most asinine things I’ve ever heard. I won’t even dignify it with a response. While silence falls over Sofa Central, the arena begins rocking with the music of ZZ Top and their hit “Sharp Dressed Man” for the arrival of Christian Wright, Mackenzie DeCenzo and CPA. BUFFER His opponent, now residing in Washington D.C. and representing THE ENTERPRISE! He weighs in at approximately '8 and 1/3 BARS OF GOLD'... The Financial Analyst of The Enterprise, this is "THE NATURAL"... CCHHHRRRIIISSTTIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAANN WWWWRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHHHTT!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Greeted rudely by the OAOAST faithful on hand, Christian Wright swaggers out with his trusty briefcase close at his side and under the protection of his employer’s burly Director of Security, CPA, who shields the Natural and Mackenzie DeCenzo from possible contact with fans as they head ringside. Upon entering the ring Wright is pounced on by Jock! COACH Hey! * DINGDINGDING * Jock slams Christian on the mat and drops the big leg, but rather than go for the cover he mounts over Wright and hammers away with closed fists. Mackenzie DeCenzo screams at referee Nick Patrick to do his job and get Jock off CW. When he tries Jock takes a swing at him! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Just when Nick Patrick is about to warn Jock about his aggressive behavior he sees the look in his eyes and smartly decides to let it go. COLE Holy cow! Jock Mulligan is a man possessed. I don’t remember seeing him like this before. COACH Even though he’s wrestling CW, right now he sees Baron in there with him. COLE Will you stop with that! You’ll be lucky if the Lone Star Gunslingers don’t come looking for you once the match is over. Jock’s minor confrontation with the official buys Christian enough time to regroup and remove his red polyester jacket, which he uses to clothesline the Texas Twister! Wright smashes Mulligan into the buckle and stuffs his tie in Jock’s mouth before delivering a series of punishing European uppercuts. Now in control Wright makes sure to have some fun with the Gunslinger, slapping him upside the head insultingly, then whips him across…but Jock reverses and BAAAAAAAACK body drops CW out of the corner! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" The Texas Twister measures Wright and drills him with his signature RUNNING BUTT THUMP!! COLE Bite My Shiny Metal Ass! This could do it! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Mulligan signals out Baron with a quick thumbs up as he ascends to the top…ONLY TO SLIP AND FALL HARD!!! COACH Did you see that?! COLE See what? COACH Baron shook the rope and caused Jock to fall. COLE He did not! Mackie and Christian have a good laugh at Mulligan’s expense, and then it’s back to business as CW puts the boots to the shaken Gunslinger. Wright brings his opponent up to a vertical base and levels him with a SUPERKICK! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO!! CW’s not through with Jock yet. He taunts Baron and Melody before spiking their friend into the canvas with a vicious PILEDRIVER! COLE Nick Patrick ought to seriously consider ending the damn match. Wright could have picked up the victory seconds ago, but now he’s trying to injury this young man for no good reason. COACH Jock’s the one who demand the match. I guess that falls into the category of be careful what you wish for because you just might get it. Mulligan’s scooped up and dropped throat-first on the top rope, his almost lifeless body crumbling to the mat. BARON The Natural dares Baron to step in, but Melody pleads with him not to. “BARON!” “BARON!” “BARON!” JOCK COACH What a great shot that is. The light’s are on, but nobody’s home! At the urging of Melody, Baron tosses in Jock’s white jacket to end the match. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Finally some common sense being shown around here. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, Baron Windels has opted to end the match since Jock Mulligan can no longer defend himself. Therefore, here is your winner… "THE NATURAL"... CCHHHRRRIIISSTTIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAANN WWWWRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHHHTT!!!! Mackie raises CW’s hand in triumph as the crowd lets him and Baron know how they feel. "BULL-SHIT!” "BULL-SHIT!” "BULL-SHIT!” COLE The fans don’t agree with Baron’s decision, but it was the right move. Jock’s career was not only on the line but so was his well being. He’s gotta have a concussion. COACH For the second week in a row Jock’s so called partner has screwed him. COLE I’m cutting you off right here. You’ve been WAY over the line tonight. Jock’s health is the most important thing at this time. We’ll try to get word on his condition before we go off the air. If not, be sure to visit OAOAST.com for more on that. And while you're on our web site be sure to join OAOAST legends James Cone and Ragdoll who list their top three title matches in Anglemania history! As for us, we'll be right back with more HeldDOWN! COMMERCIAL

BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen it is time for our mainevent here on OAOAST HeldDOWN~! It is a no disqualification match scheduled for one fall with a time limit of sixty minutes! Introducing first... You make me so hot Make me wanna drop You're so ridiculous I can barely stop I can hardly breathe You make me wanna scream You're so fabulous You're so good to me, baby, baby You're so good to me, baby, baby "YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" The floor of the entrance stage is captured by a playful illumination as its tiles flash wildly alternating colors of red, green, yellow, blue, and white. Above these frenzied color flashes lie a bevy of gorgeous dancers. They capture the audience's lust and passions, with white gogo boots decorated by red flowers, orange, blue and yellow, tie die micro dresses, and matching head bands. Their dances are like Hippy commune revelry mixed with modern day hip-hop, flowing arm movements interrupted by controlled bursts of leg jumps, followed by hands running across their shapely bodies. But any attention that falls on those many dancers is stripped away by the arrival of the supreme beauty, Krista Isadora Duncan! Miss California strikes an alluring pose beneath the swirl of red and pink spotlights, throwing one hand into the air, while letting another glide down her inner thigh. A circling overhead camera captures the gorgeous woman, in pink heels that carry long legs up to ultra tight pink booty shorts, that showcase generous helpings of her perfectly toned BUTT. To complete the ensemble she wears a matching pink Luke Walton Lakers jersey. Krista brushes past her army of dancer with utmost arrogance and begins a haughty stride towards the ramp. BUFFER From Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, a fitness queen, a recent inductee into The Hollywood Walk of Fame, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, the star of the VH1 reality show the look of love, the Angle Award winning female personality of the year, The other half of the Angle Award winning tag team of the year, she is Miss California Krista Isaodra Duncan! The entrance ramp's dull flooring is now blanketed in the most beautiful array of pink and red glitter that sparkles wonderfully against the matching lighting scheme. Similar to the recently passed LA fashion week, fashion photographers and journalists, all outfitted in the same black dress shirts and slacks, work tirelessly to capture the image of Krista strutting along this majestic décor with the grace and style of a supermodel. As wind machines playfully blow her flowing blond locks in front her entrancing face, the photographers trail her path creating a whimsical light show with the roving pink and purple spotlights. Once she reaches the end of the ramp, her hands fall to her slender hips, and her face tilts backwards, bathing in the wind machine's touch while she beams and arresting smirk into the camera. All around is the monstrous roar of cheers, spewed from every member of the audience. COLE When I first started working for the OAOAST after my father sold me into slavery to pay of his debts to the Chinese triad, I never thought I'd be calling a match with featuring a woman on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, but here we are with the world famous Krista Isadora Duncan! But what's on her mind must be beating her opponent for tonight, Theodore Moneymaker. COACH And even if she does beat him, which she won't, she's still gotta deal with Alix in Los Angeles at Anglemania! Reaching the ring apron leads Krista to catch her long legs around the third rope. Offering the fans a prime photo opportunity she bends her entire body upside down with amazingly flexibility. Even while suspended in mid air, she showcases her classically rebellious attitude with one hand blowing the cameras a kiss and the other giving them the finger. "YEOW!" The entrance stage falls under a light green glow, as various highlights of the most reprehensible group of wrestlers flash onto the various video screens. The venom spit from the sold out audience is only directed to the leader though, Theodore Moneymaker. The Billion Dollar Heir doesn't shy away from this rising of anger from the audience, instead welcoming it with open arms as he strolls onto the stage. Mackenzie DeCenzo in a slinky strapless yellow sequined evening gown, stands at his side, massaging his shoulders and offering him words of encouragement. COLE Folks, now is a good a time as any to tell you about our latest Anglemania match, which will open the most swagtastic show in history! The Lonestar Gunslingers, and The Christ Air Express will go up against The Enterprise team consisting of Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright, and The Beverly Hills Blonds. That's a huge match with all men involved being former tag team champions. COACH Its an obvious attempt by The Lonestar Gunslingers and The Christ Air Express to get some shine. So they call Moneymaker, a true G if ever there was one, out. Get ya weight up little boys, you not on Moneymaker's level. And, I don't think Jock even wanted that match. I bet he wanted that punk turncoat Baron in a steel cage. Windells has to hell to pay soon! Ol Billy Ray Cryus poser ass bout to get his skull cracked by a true redneck cowboy. Garth Brooks lookin fool, Baron bout as hard as Reba McEntire's ass. The other dudes in that match...them bitches just love getting beat up by somebody who's greater than their life. BUFFER And the opponent being accompanied by Mackenzie DeCenzo, from Vero Beach, Florida, he is the CEO of The Enterprise , the Billion Dollar Heir, and one half of the first ever One and Only World Tag Team champions......MISTER THEODORE MONEYMAKER! COLE No one I've ever met is more universally hated then this man, Theodore Moneymaker. And I don't anyone hates him more then Krista Isadora Duncan. He's revealed her deepest secret to the world, totally turned her life upside down, staged a witch hunt against her due to her sexuality, convinced her ex-girlfriend into thinking she's been spreading lies about her. But I wonder how much of this is about jealously? Moneymaker and his crew spend all their time trying to stress that they're sports entertainers. But Krista is truly an entertainer first, second, and a wrestler about twentieth. She's actually doing what Moneymaker's crew only broadly talks about. I think there's a lot of jealously in Moneymaker's heart. COACH Can't hide your female traits and attributes even if you rock a beard. The bitch in you is very strong, you drip pussy juice from your pore, the estrogen got you growing titties. Your mother taught you Hoe Survival skills, always worrying about jealously. THAT'S WHAT BITCHES DO! Why you talking about jealously like Mister Moneymaker's a ho? This is about power, control, and indisputable dominance. You on some female type mess. Change ya tampax before you speak to the don. Moneymaker struts down the ramp with Mackenzie on his arm, and the boos of twenty thousand audience members filling his ears. He isn't overly concerned with their wrathful comments, and instead simply offers them his famous evil laughter. COLE I'll tell you this, Moneymaker has proven that he is an amazing athlete time and time again. But he's coming out here without any backup besides Mackenzie. No CPA, no Christian Wright, or Beverly Hills Blonds. He's going to step into the ring with his most hated enemey, Krista Isadora Duncan, and he's basically alone. Money Talks fades away, and its absence comes the raucous noise from eighteen thousands of Coloradoans. On their feet, their screams and shouts lend a rocking soundtrack to the tense confrontation between Krista and Moneymaker. Though, Moneymaker dwarfs her in both height and weight, Miss California displays no hints of intimidation. Instead she displays a strong showing of rage and matches him vulgar threat for vulgar threat. Referee Charles Robinson seeks to get between the warring superstars, but his efforts are wasted. Its almost if the entire world is totally invisible to them, as they lock hate filled eyes on one another. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” "Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime CALL ME! (call me)" And just like that the chants of Krista's name fall to heated boos. As disgusted as the fans are, Moneymaker is every bit as shocked by the appearance of his asscoiates. He holds his hands out in a strong pleading of innocence as his loyal lackeys, The Beverly Hills Blonds strode out onto the entrance stage toting wine bottles. The confused mood inside the the ring isn't matched by the former tag team champions, who boast smiles as big as The Rocky Mountains. Neither Krista nor the fans buy Moneymaker's avoidance of fault, and they verbally hammer him with insults. COLE And this can't be unexpected! With a stable that nearly numbers in the double digits, is it any surprise to see some henchmen out here to do their bosses bidding? And its bidding they'll happily perform; forgetting his mask of innocence, Moneymaker guides them to their own person VIP seats in the front row with smug satisfaction. Inside the squared circle, Krista fumes threatening violence against Moneymaker, Mackenzie, The Blonds, and Russel Crowe (she thought 3:10 to Yuma was ovverated nonsensical pap best left in the 1950's) “ENTERPRISE SUCKS! ENTERPRISE SUCKS! ENTERPRISE SUCKS!” NED I agree! That's why I rent all my cars from Budget! SIMON Simon's laughter is abruptly silenced when the celeb diva, launches herself from the apron towards his boss. The Blonds watch in horror, and the audience watches with delight, as her frilly pink Jessica Simpson pumps slash into his back. His gruff voice breaking in agony, Moneymaker sinks to the mats. There he's the unwilling victim to a cascade of stomps from his gorgeous enemy. “These boots were made for walkin', and that's just what they'll do! One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you!” Krista sings, channeling the namesake of her flashy footwear. The shoes continue to slam into the back of his head with meteoric force, and his screams are muffled by paper thin black mats beneath him. The audience is treated to the sight of his frightened face, once Krista yanks him off the canvas. With a hold on his dollar green tights she chucks him into the ring. Motivated strictly by survival instincts, Moneymaker begins a hasty roll to the opposite side of the ring to begin an escape. But seeing the ultra smooth legs of Krista stepping over the ropes as though she were a seven foot giant, tells Moneymaker he must stay and fight. He gathers up both strength and courage and surges forward to take her off her heels with a spear! “BOOOOOO!” Dumping further fuel on the audience's hatred, Moneymaker begins smashing his right hands into Krista's covergirl face. Each savage strike comes accompanied by his trademark laughter, which simply works to anger the fans even further. “MONEY TALKS BULLSHIT WALKS, BABY!” He screams, pausing from his assault. But the arrogant interruption of his attack is costly; Krista summons an impressive burst of power and rolls him onto his back! “YEAAAAA!” Rather then merely give the tycoon a taste of his own medicine, Krista tightens her hands his throat in a choke attempt. As he weakly gasps for both air and for assistance from The Blonds, Moneymaker attacker drags him away from canvas. His widen in fear, and his mouth opens to emit muted cries, in anticipation for the deathly hold Krista has in store. Quite to his shock, the golden haired beauty gives him nothing but a rough shove into the posts. Much to his anguish, the golden haired beauty gives him a furious round of kicks to the ribs. She could pummel the money maven until he shears his skin off, but her attention is captured by a woman in the stands. “Krista, you're awesome! You remind me so much of my sister!” “Uh, thanks!” “Its just a shame the investigators never found the charred pieces of her corpse scattered beneath my basement.” The distraction offered by the audience member gives Teddy a chance stagger free of his prison Clutching mightily sore ribs, he builds up a small amount of speed off a run from the ropes. But his return is met with a Triple H-esque knee lift from Krista, and he's thrown down to the canvas. With his entire torso feeling like its been mauled by a saber tooth tiger, Moneymaker rethinks his refusal to retreat. As one hand tries to nurse his wounded ribs, the other slowly assists him in departing the squared circle. Finally he reaches the outside, where front row fans pollute his ear drum with an endless parade of insults. Perhaps more troubling to Moneymaker is the sight of Krissy perched atop the third turnbuckle. Its a thrilling view for the audience, who eagerly await the bombshell's latest weapon in her war against Moneymaker. But first, Krista must wax philosophical, “Friends, there was a time where I was crippled with despair! I used to think that I could not go on. And life was nothing but an awful song. But now I know the meaning of true love. I'm leaning on the everlasting arms. If I can see it, then I can do it. If I just believe it, there's nothing to it. I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky. I think about it every night and day. Spread my wings and fly away!” The fans needen't sit through R&B's past hits much longer; off the top rope comes Krista, her fantastic figure twirling and whipping through the air with a shooting star press. Despite having seen Miss California coming from miles away, Moneymaker's plodding feet can't rush him out the way, and she slams into him with violent impact! The billion dollar heir topples backwards, the life drained totally out of him, and the crowd loving every minute of it. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Krista lifts Moneymaker's carcass off the mats. Weakly he whimpers, barely able to see more then multicolored blurs in front of him. His vision is then engulfed entirely in black, when Krista casually chucks him into the steel steps. Before the pain of that strike can even take hold on Moneymaker's bruised face, Krista is charging forward seeking to smear that face onto the steps. But, the detested heel finds the strength within him to pull his head out the way. The steel steps go flying backwards, throughly upsetting the audience, who wished to see Moneymaker's head do the same thing. Krista, on the other hand is more concerned with her shoes, checking them for scuff marks and finding none. “Damn Jessica, these shoes are the shit!” Back on his feet is Theodore Moneymaker, though his labored breath and sweat soaked body show he's in no condition to defend himself. And that is why those Jessica Simpson pumps easily dropkick him over the guardrail! YEAAAAAA! COLE You gotta think that Krista is doing this for both her daughters, Maya and Jade. Think of what Moneymaker has done to those poor girls! Landing on the cold concrete and hearing the blood thirsty screams of the surrounding fans are enough to once again cause Moneymaker to contemplate escape. His mind is made up when he spots the violence prone babe fast approaching his position. Frantically he crawls towards a stairway leading up the stands towards an exit. But he gets no further then the first step before he feels the sharp sting of a heel poking through his back. Desperate to preserve his life, Moneymaker guides himself up to the second stair and reaches for anything that might assist in his quest for survival. All he comes up with is a cross necklace from a nearby audience member. With no other options on the horizon, the business king sheepishly raises the object as a ward against the dangerous demoness. Krista is unimpressed, “Wow, I'm kind of surprised you can hold that thing without your skin melting off!” The cross dangles free of his hands as once more Krista pulls him away from the floor. With her blue eyes set on the ring she begins guiding him towards the guardrail. But not paying attention to her foe becomes a mammoth mistake; Moneymaker stuns her with a punch to her exposed midsection. More annoyed then hurt by the attack, the Los Angeles native tries to return fire. But for once Moneymaker is too quick for her efforts and succeeds in clotheslining her directly over the guardrail! She lands with an appallingly harsh thud, her leg smacking off the steps and bringing out worried cries from the audience. Their fears aren't entirely subdued either with the way Krista groggily uses the ring steps to get herself up right. Still behind the guardrail, Moneymaker is forced to use Kris' moment of weakness to attend to his quickly mounting injuries. COACH Moneymaker showin resolve and ability to comeback from adversity right here. God bless this man! At Mackenzie's urging, Moneymaker moves to take advantage of the pain he's inflicted Krista with. Showcasing impressive speed, the billion dollar heir soars off the guardrail towards Krista with his beefy arm extended for a lariat. But by the time he reaches the sex kitten she's well recovered and greets his arrival by leaping into skies herself. Her legs curl towards her chest, and her hands come across his neck. Gravity does the rest, pulling the pair down, and cursing Moneymaker with a brutal inverted lung blower. Onto his back The Billion dollar heir flops, scarcely able to breathe or halt the stomps Krista bombs across his chest. "K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!" Moneymaker is able to collect enough energy to rise on his own power. But that's a short lived moral victory, due to the repeated chops Krista slashes into his chest. The ferocious attacks wreak havoc on Moneymaker's pasty white skin, shredding it away, and pushing blood red in its place. Most damning of all for The Enterprise leader is that the attacks pack such power that they sink him to his knees. Not willing to play the helpless victim in the SoCal hottie's murderous rampage, Moneymaker resumes a crawl towards an oasis of safety. His constant back tracking finally bears fruit; he drags himself directly towards the Blonds' seats in the front row. His good fortune is their misfortune, however, as Krista gives herself carte blanche to terrorize them with back handed slaps that absolutely enrapture the audience! "K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!" COACH You can't be slappin audience members all willy nilly like that! They just trynna support their boss, your beef ain't on their streets. Far wiser then his associate, Simon slinks away, leaving Ned to bear the brunt of his ex's maniac assault. Krista is more then thrilled to spend her time pounding Ned and hardly even notices Simon's departure. That is until the Video Voyeur returns seconds later to spew beer into the aqua colored eyes of the the celeb icon. COLE Why, Simon? Why?! SIMON (Holding up the cup of beer) Why ask why? Try Bud Dry! NED Dying for her opportunity to torment Krista as well, Mackenzie departs her position of safety, with intentions of bowling over the semi-blinded hottie with a lariat. MACKENZIE KRISTA Without so much as batting a curled eyelash, Krista reaches out and snares the woman by the throat. She foists her into the air with one hand, holding her up and away while Mackenzie flails in his clutches, pants legs snapping against the empty air. Mackenzie claws fruitlessly at the arm that holds her aloft, but this has little impact or effect on her vengeful aggressor. “Put me down!” Mackenzie demands, her voice stifled to weak gasps. Happily fulfilling Mackie's request, Kris casually throws her towards the dismayed Blonds. Fortunately for the upended businesswoman, her allies are able to catch her within their arms. Krista prepares to steam roll the hapless trio with a dropkick, but first must deal with the troubling occurrence of Moneymaker closing in on her with an axe handle smash! Pleasing the fans greatly, Kris counters his ill advised interference by flinging him over with a hip toss. The sea of gathered spectators watch with joy as Moneymaker's paunchy physique acts as the lead domino in toppling his three underlings over! Wanting to aid Krista in her fight against The Enterprise a nearby fan passes her a replica microphone she purchased at the merchandise stand. “That's my girl! Honey, You're a good person. Just like Natalie Portman. I don't know, sometimes when I look at my screen saver, I think..."Yeah, you're thinking about me, too." I used to feel the same way about Gina Gershon, but then I shared a limo with her and she poked me in the boob with an umbrella. And by shared a limo and poked me in the boob with an umbrella I obviously mean dry humped me from Malibu to West Hollywood, and didn't even buy me drinks afterwards.” COLE I have to imagine this must be pretty disconcerting for Moneymaker. You dedicate yourself to destroying this woman and she treats you like she's hosting Saturday Night Live! That has to trainwreck his confidence. Brushing aside any inclinations for teamwork, The Enterprise members scramble for their own safety in the face of this crazed madwoman. But safety is a hard goal to reach for Simon Singleton with Krista horse whipping him with the replica microphone. Right as his tortured screams begin to fill the air, his tag team partner is being brutalized with the same attack. In front of Moneymaker's panicked face Ned falls, tiny droplets of blood trickling from his forehead. If there was any worry for Blanchard's plight in Moneymaker's heart, its all but evaporated when he eyes Krista, weapon raised, looming above him. Wholly frightened by this unwelcome image, Moneymaker begins haphazardly hustling away from Krista. “Run Forest! Run!” Krista cries to him. Prayers for divine intervention flow freely from the billionaire's trembling voice. Though no deity comes to his aid, Simon Singleton certainly does, clubbing Krista in the back with forearms. He manages to keep her under duress with his assault long enough for Blanchard to get to his feet. With Ned at his side, Simon joins in his partner in hooking Krista into a front facelock. There are threats of violence from inebriated audience members as they raise her into the air. However, the Blonds pay the drunks no mind and smash Krista against the rough concrete with a double vertical suplex. Her screams of pain further ignite the audience's anger, and they shower The Enterprise with hateful chants. Their dislike then narrows from the entire stable to just Mackenzie, as the first lady of the group attempts to choke the life from her long time adversary. “ENTERPRISE SUCKS! ENTERPRISE SUCKS! ENTERPRISE SUCKS!” Mackenzie's anger is so powerful that she's unwilling to let Krista go free. Its only when Moneymaker pulls her away from his foe, does Krista get a chance to breath. Its a chance with a short shelf life; the Blonds lift her up and dump her over the guardrail. She lands on the mat, where she instantly begins trying to regain her lost air and still her swimming vision. Her obscured sight prevents her from spotting Moneymaker swiping the ring bell from Michael Buffer. Even the shouts of the worried announcer and nearby fans don't tip her off to the danger that's forthcoming. Thus it comes with great shock and anguish when Moneymaker bashes his weapon into her skull. Krista's fall to the mat is of the sickening variety, her head a basketball bouncing off this rubber court. She whimpers in agony, her vision worsened and her eyes burning with salty sweat. “BWAHHAHAHA!” Moneymaker laughs, while swiping a miniature OAOAST hockey stick from a fan in the front row. Within moments after stealing the weapon, Moneymaker is bringing it down across Krista's back. It acts as a sadistic drum stick, beating out horrible cries of distress from Krista's throat. Though its a tune that brings appalled gasps to the audience's eyes, its one that severely underwhelms Moneymaker. As such, the Flordian seeks out a weapon that will generate greater screams of pain from his enemy. His search drives him to an expedition underneath the ring, but it takes no more then two seconds before he unearths a stop sign. The fans become abuzz with alarm, their hearts set at ill ease while they watch Moneymaker hover the octagon above their fallen heroine. COLE Don't do this! Krista has no idea what just hit her, but she knows it hurts like all hell. Pain shoots through her bare back like a cancer as the metal rain downs with furious fire. “MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS!” Thankfully Moneymaker discards his now bent stop sign to the floor. Yet he does this only to retrieve a much more dangerous wine bottle from Ned Blanchard. Unaware of what awaits her when she stands, Krista uses the black ring apron to pull herself to her feet. She's not even offered an opportunity to brace herself for Moneymaker's assault before he lashes the bottle against the back of her head. The now broken glass makes splinters across the landscape, and sags Krista into a knocked out abyss. She timbers sideways, with sweat, and liquor preceding her graceless fall. COLE Good god! This is wrong! This is all wrong! COACH This shit ain't sweet, white boy! Fuck you thought it was? The audience is shocked speechless by Moneymaker's viscous attack, and can't even work up the resolve to boo his disgraceful laughter. The mirthful CEO of The Enterprise then tightens his hand around Krista's hair and roughly hauls her to her feet. Although slivers of glass work into his skin, they don't stop him from hastily depositing the exhausted celeb into the ring. He follows her into the squared circle and attempts the first pinfall of the contest... ONE! TWO! Krista throws her shoulder off the canvas, surprising the audience, who had resigned her to a crushing defeat. Past their cheers is the gravely voice of Theodore Moneymaker, lambasting the referee for a perceived slow count. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” the fans bleat as the walk of famer slowly tries to stagger off the mat. Attempting to silence the audience before they can rally Krista to action, Moneymaker pounces on her with the Bank Vault sleeper hold. The affects of the signature move are immediate, a painful constricting of her breathing. This is more then a mere rest hold, for Krista this is onerous battle to remain conscious. Moneymaker does her effort to stay awake no favors, savagely cranking on her neck, torquing it as roughly as his strength will allow. The supportive crowd continues the task of rallying the babyface, singing her name in unison. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Drawing strength from their kindness, the fitness queen bucks and roars against Moneymaker's epic restraints. Moneymaker counters this by tightening his grasp, and letting her drift into a comfortable slumber. However this turns out to be a futile effort as the hardbodied honey keeps on warring against his move. Eventually her frantic movement is able to weaken his clutches just enough that she's able to bring herself to her feet. The moneyed devil follows her upright, wrought with panic that his move is dangerously close to evaporating. His fears turn out to be well founded, as Krissy launches a calvary of stomps into his boot that shred at his clutches. The sixth and final strike shatters the hold altogether, and pops the capacity crowd while causing Mackenzie to curse up a storm. While Kris may be free of the sleeper, she's not free from her aggressor. And he keeps her aware of this chilling fact, by dropping her to the canvas with a side Russian leg sweep! COLE These two have absolutely went to town on one another and right now its Moneymaker taking control over Krista. But how long will that last in this tug of war between these two rivals? “I'M A CASH MONEY BILLIONAIRE! BWAHAHAHAHA!” Moneymaker boasts to a far less then receptive audience. Trailed by their jeers, the billion dollar heir skates to the ropes. As he bounces off, he cocks his arm to strike Krista with the trademark Fistull of Dollars. But when he nears the tanned goddess Moneymaker finds she's in no position to receive his basic strike; she's on her feet with her arms zooming towards his neck. Quickly he tries to put on his breaks and reverse his course, but its to no avail, and Krissy's arms snap him back with a Blonds Never Pay A Cover (side effect)! COLE Can you imagine? One week you're being immortalized on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame, the next you're getting bashed in the head with a wine bottle. "Just another day in the life of Drew Barrymore! Just kidding Drew, love ya much!" Krista calls back, as she hooks Moneymaker's leg for a pinfall. The audience readies themselves to count along with Robinson. Yet their voices are put on hold with the arrival of Ned Blanchard onto the ring apron. The Handsome Hustler's comical gestures, akin to acting as if he's being molested by a gorilla, distract Robinson from his duties with the pinfall. “BOOOOOO!” COLE (standing up and shouting) Turn around, Charles! Jesus, Jesus, Jesus! NED No, no, Cole, I just haven't shaved in a couple of days! SIMON KRISTA Finally Robinson pulls his gaze away from Ned's shenanigans, and returns to the job of counting Krista's fall. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! But the fans' mood is deflated when Moneymaker pops out of the pin. COLE So close! So close! Folks, we have to take a commercial break, but we'll be back with more of our mainevent after this! COMMERCIAL Our return from break brings us to the billionaire launching Miss California into the ropes. As she retreats towards the cables his body sags from exhaustion, and it looks like he lacks the strength to even remain upright. Thankfully for he and his underlings, he possesses enough health to duck bellow Krista's incoming yakuza kick! Despite the avoidance, the sound of shoe mangling flesh is heard loud and clear as Krista's boot impacts with Robinson's face. As if he were pierced with a bullet, Robinson slumps downward and all the expression is torn from his visage. Feeling a touch of maternal pity for the ref's mishap, Krista tries to rouse him back to life. This moment to play doctor, allows a dizzied Moneymaker to scrape his carcass off the canvas. Weakened by weariness, the Enterprise czar wobbles in place, seemingly unable to move his legs forward. Yet moments later is entire body is moved forward and through the air, due to Krista's sexy toned legs coming together to blast him over the ropes with a spinning wheel kick! Joined by the incredible cheers of the onlookers, the big shot's two hundred thirty pounds plummet to the outside mat like a boulder, and land with the harsh thud of one as well. COACH Naw, that ain't true hip-hop! Ned, Simon, G'up and do work! Do work! While the crowd continues to delight in their hated villain's downfall, Krissy has moved on to even more painful methods in which bring about his demise. Her weapon of choice happens to be the busted and misshapen stop sign Moneymaker tortured her with. The hilarious irony not at all lost on her, Krista giggles with some kind of devilishly girlish glee as she raises the weapon high above her head. “WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE, BABY, YOU GONNAAAAA DIEEEEEEEE!” Krista sings. “DEATH TO MONEYMAKER! DEATH TO MONEYMAKER! DEATH MONEYMAKER!” the fans cry, urging for his bloody defeat. And a grizzly end they shall receive, as the former Guns N Roses dancer obliterates her enemy's spine with a trio of shots from the stop sign. Every crack of his bones calls out deep throated roars from Moneymaker's face, and screams of joy from the audience. While they could spend the next hour watching Krista confine him to a wheelchair with her sadistic offense, Krista isn't content to merely bash him with a sign. Thus she brings his limp figure off the mat and shoves him into the ring. Cursed with fear and grogginess, Moneymaker can only lie on the ground incapable of doing anything more then weakly croaking for assistance. His weak calls are answered by the Blonds who act as rabid hounds, swarming on Krissy like a piece of tasty meat. They trap her on the outside with a firestorm of punches, chops, and forearms that bring the glamor girl to her knees in agony. Not wishing to be denied her chance to inflict harm on Krista, Mackenzie savages her back with a blast from a steel chair! A flash of scorching hot pain screams across Krista's body after the shot, and her loud whimpering draws a cruel smile onto Mackenzie's face. “B-H-B WE RUNNIN' THIS OAOAST SHIT! K-I-D GET GUNNED UP AND CLAPPED QUICK!” Simon shouts in classic middle aged white guy trying to be cool voice. Stay in ya pocket, Bill Simmons. “ENTERPRISE SUCKS! ENTERPRISE SUCKS! ENTERPRISE SUCKS!” Following the sharply stated orders of Mackenzie, The Blonds guide Krista onto sofa central's announce table. The announce team is immobilized by shock, fearful over what The Enterprise has planned for the OAOAST's most popular female. However, Mackenzie DeCenzo reckless swinging of her chair spurs them to seek safer ground away from the announce table. COLE This is nuts! Are you out of your mind, woman? What's wrong with you animals?! With Mackie angrily running crowd control, The Blonds devote themselves to the service of bringing Moneymaker back to health. With boldly stated promises that Krista's end is near, they renew his fighting spirit. He uses the ropes to begin pulling himself upright, and spots Krista lying prone on the announce table. That, along with the anxious bawling of the audience is like a life potion, invigorating Moneymaker to climb onto the top rope. There the hatred of the fans reaches its highest point, and they blast Moneymaker with every insult, and every profanity their minds can entertain. None of this, not even the encouraging cheers of The Blonds matters. His sole focus is on the KO'ed woman on the announce table, and the magnificent attack he'll use to put her out the OAOAST. COLE Moneymaker on the top rope! What the hell is he planning? Wowing a begrudging audience with rarely seen agility Moneymaker departs the top rope with his body extended to its full six feet and three inches. Camera flashes litter the air, encasing his descending figure in a harsh white glow. There's a moment of awed silence before terrified screams flood the arena when he crashes through Krista, shattering both her and the announce table on half. COLE Oh my! Oh my! Oh my! The reaction of the sold out crowd is similar to Cole, many left wondering how the two competitors involved in that high risk attack will even be able to walk after the match. Simon has has the same concerns and floats above the blanked face of Moneymaker, repeatedly inquiring on his health. Getting no response from Moneymaker definitely does not set Simon at ease and he begins slapping him in the face to wake him up. Buried beneath the charred wreckage of the announce table is Krista, body absent of any signs of life, making her a prefect target for Mackenzie's outraged tirade of put downs. COLE We have to get medical attention out here, as soon as possible! Come on! COACH Forget docs and paramedics we got to get a replay on this bitch! Back from replay signs of life remain frustratingly foreign from both competitors. Concern for Moneymaker's health is understandably low amongst the audience, and their time isn't spent celebrating his self orchestrated expiration, but trying to will Krista towards movement. “LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!” Finally they're given some movement by the target of their love. But its not the kind of movement they'd been searching for. Ned Blanchard pulls her free of the crash sight and deposits her into the ring. Behind him Mackenzie is assisting Simon in doing a similar thing for Moneymaker. Once they have their downtrodden leader on his feet they gently escort him into the ring. With Krista sprawled out in a state of battered weakness, Moneymaker sees her in an opportune positioned to be pinned. As his every movement feels like chunks of flesh are being ripped off his body, he slowly lurches his arm forward and drapes it across Krista's chest for a pinfall... COLE This has to be it. ONE! TWO! Krista kicks out of certain defeat, drawing a grandoise shout of happiness from the audience. Their noise level is amazing, a huge outpouring of cheers and chants, all with the single task of bringing about a victory for the walk of famer. For his part Moneymaker can't even offer his customary gripe about the count. He's far to tied up in the complete collapse of his energy, as his head seems to glued to the mat, and his keeping his eyes open is a battle to difficult to be worth fighting. On the outside The Blonds and Mackenzie can't believe the failure they've been witness to, and tromp around the ring with hands held on hips and heads shaking in disgust. COLE How much more can these two take? They're the furtherest thing removed what you would consider hardcore wrestlers, yet here they are with stop signs, wine bottles, microphones and broken announce table. All because they hate each other so much. Fearing that his boss may have reached the beginning of what could be a very bloody end, Simon elevates himself onto the top rope to capture the attention of Robinson. As BOSS distracts him with complaints on his shoddy refereeing, Ned is able to slide into the ring with the monitor from the destroyed announce table in hand. COLE Get him out of there! COACH All is fair in this type of match, Cole. All is fair! Salivating with the insane glee of a hyena, Ned waves his monitor in the air as he waits for Miss California to stand. Once she begins moving upright, Blanchard can maintain his patience no longer and zeros in on her with his weapon. The pop of the audience is gigantic when the Los Angelina ducks beneath his approaching attack! Unable to slam on the breaks in time, The Handsome Hustler reduces Moneymaker's face into a bloody wreck with his wildly swung weapon! “YEAAAAAAA!” COLE I don't know if Jade's watching this backstage, but she's got to love every moment of pain that Moneymaker goes through! Standing over Moneymaker's bleeding face Ned bemoans his grave error, “SON OF A BITC..” But his feelings of guilt are smashed away by feelings of immense pain thanks to Krista dropkicking him through the ropes! Ned is out of sight and out of mind for the audience, who now count along with Krista's pinfall.. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! But Mackie snatches Moneymaker out the jaws of defeat by lifting his boot onto the ring rope. This does not sit well with the audience, and they pepper her with derogatory chants. Equally as annoyed with Mackenzie's intrusions is Krista, and she dismounts Moneymaker in hopes of delivering a beating to this vexatious tormentor. But her hopes are dashed by a sneak clothesline from Simon Singleton! As the crowd shifts their rage from Mackie to him, BOSS quickly drags Moneymaker onto Krista. Robinson counts the ensuing pin, and the audience holds their breath in fear. ONE! COLE Come on, Krista. Kick out! TWO! Robinson's hand is mere centimeters away from tagging the mat for a crucial third time, but Krista continues to battle on, ripping her shoulder away from the canvas. The fans are ecstatic, many high fiving and hugging each other in celebration of Krista's resiliency. But that resiliency looks to soon be tested in a most gruesome manner; Ned Blanchard has retrieved a table from beneath the ring and orders Simon to ready Krista to be put through it. Shockingly to Blanchard, there's a solid cheer from the stands as he positions the table on the outside of the ring. Within moments he's exposed to the reason for the giddiness of the audience, as The Christ Air Express overwhelm him with a furious cascade of punches! COLE The Christ Air Express have arrived! And if you've watched Syndicated lately you surely know the problem they have with The Beverly Hills Blonds and The Enterprise! COLE These cupcake mouth Canadian Bacon lookin Rob&Big ass stank crackers! This ain't Syndicated, this is the HeldDOWN mainevent, get em outta here! Joining Ned on the outside, Simon attempts to do just that. He trades shots with the Canadian boys but is little match for their numbers advantage, and he's beaten into a ¾ inverted facelock from MARV. As the fans root him on, MARV charges forward and bounds up the ring apron. He back flips off, sailing over the table, before gravity begins pulling him downwards. That's when BOSS is driven through the table, left a debased husk beneath the ruin of wood and steel. His cries are constant and immediate but can't be heard over the applause of the spectators. COLE Look out Enterprise because the same thing could be awaiting you at Anglemania in Krista's hometown of Los Angeles. Speaking of the California Girl, she's back on her feet waiting for Moneymaker to stand so that she may saw him in two with a spear. Problematically, the other blond California babe, Mackenzie DeCenzo, resides on the ring apron near turnbuckle with steel chair in hand. But, thanks to a warning from the helpful fans, the buxom sex kitten has no trouble in evading Mackie's attack! She flourishes her heels forward and throws the chair into Mackenzie's face with an axe kick! COLE Oh yeah! Mackie is blasted off the apron, a sight that's certain to send the fans home happy no matter what the outcome of the match! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COACH You've done more then enough to Mackenzie, you monster! Where's Alix? Where's Alix? In hopes of catching Krista off guard, Moneymaker lowers his shoulder and charges full speed ahead! But, Miss California's heels shuffle her away at the last possible moment, and the billionaire is left to crash his attacking limb into the cold steel of the ring post. He screams like he just had an arm amputated as he sags down to the mat. Needing to both tone her upper body and humiliate Moneymaker, Krista stretches her body across the mat in push up position. Unfortunately for Moneymaker, he becomes enlisted in her unusual workout routine, as she captures Moneymaker within her powerful thighs. With no escape on the horizon for Moneymaker, Krista's sexy legs combine with her push ups to repeatedly smash his head into the ring floor. The fans sit envious of Moneymaker, his head massaged by her silken skin. Then sit sympathetic of him, his face mutilated by her creative attack. “K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!” the fans chant as Krista lets Moneymaker go free and gracefully bows to their admiration. COACH That is both the greatest and worst move that can ever happen to you. Grousing in both frustration and misery, Moneymaker yanks himself off the canvas. Unfortunately he's treated to the troubling image of Krista's shapely body spring boarding off the nearby ropes. Before he can properly prepare an avoidance her arms are coiling around his neck, and her body begins twisting him around for a tornado DDT! But Moneymaker manages to gather up enough wits to counter her high flying attack and flings her backwards with a bridged Northern Lights Suplex! Robinson counts the fall... ONE! TWO! Again Krista refuses to stay down and the fans are absolutely thrilled as a result. Moneymaker doesn't quite share in their enthusiasm for his failure, and hauls Krista upright where he throws a series of punches towards her heavenly stomach. Annoyed by having her body treated like a workout bag, Krista ends the charade altogether by whipping the superstar into the ropes. She lowers her head as Moneymaker returns from the cables, but the man leapfrogs the four time tag team champion and lands behind her. He twirls around to knock her head into the third row with a discus punch, but Krissy counters the strike by stunning him with an inverted atomic drop! He clutches his groin, and screams out in sizable pain, as the crowd hoots and hollers over his misery. Their soon given even more to cheer about as Krista winds up and annihilates his nose with a superkick! COLE Krista's Great California Adventure! Eyes rolled into the back of his head, Moneymaker topples over into the ring ropes. But they're inhospitable hosts and violently thrust him back towards his archenemy. Unable to offer a proper defense against Krista, Moneymaker is halted in place by her hands stretching over his shoulder and coming together across his neck. The already standing fans let out another monstrous roar, heralding the arrival of Krista's finisher. COLE Here it comes! But, Moneymaker delays both the fans and Cole's joy by suddenly sweeping out of Krista's clutches and elevating her onto his broad shoulders! COACH And there it goes! “BWAHAHAAHAHA!” he screams, thinking he's finally outwitted Krista. But Krista's smooth baby oil soaked skin, slides her right off Moneymaker's shoulders, to the immense pleasure of the spectators. Affording Moneymaker no chance to mount another reversal, Krista sweeps him downwards with the Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one! (Reverse X-Factor)! “YEAAAAAAA!” With her bubble gum pink lips curling into an enthusiastic smile, Krista stretches forward and hooks Moneymaker's leg for a pinfall... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! NO! MONEYMAKER KICKS OUT! “BOOOOOOO!” COLE What?! I don't believe it! How did he do that? COACH Theodore Moneymaker can do anything! Krista rips Moneymaker off the canvas, and is immediately placed under fire from a foursome of punches from The CEO of The Enterprise. Having weakened her with his striking, Moneymaker sangs her into a front facelock. His hands hook onto her bootyrrific tights, and drag her into the air for a brainbuster! But Krista thrills the crowd and upsets her rival, when she speedily slithers free of his clutches. Outraged with her escape, Moneymaker whirls around with an elbow smash. But the foxy mama catches Theodore's attacking arm and shoots him into the far corner. As he runs to the posts, Krista takes her own journey to the ropes, timing it so that when he staggers out of the corner she is able to plant him with a facecrusher! Miss California puts an exclamation on Moneymaker's continued annihilation, when she sprints to the edge of the ring, and ascends to the highest cable. The ropes work as a launching pad, shooting her lionsaulting figure directly towards her fallen foe. She impacts precisely onto his flabby stomach, robbing Theodore of whatever wind or energy remained in his body Monyemaker screams like a madman, his raspy cries of despair joining the deliriously happy scream of the crowd in one final moment of communion. Robinson administers the resulting count, while the Denver crowd prays to the heaven's above that Moneymaker will be kept down for three pivotal seconds CROWD ONE! Ned slides into the ring! CROWD TWO! But he's pulled out by MARV and MEL! CROWD THREE! COLE Yes! Yes! Yes! God yes! A resonating shout of celebration from the audience rocks the arena to it's very foundation. As Hot seeps out of the speakers, the fans high five each other, acting as if they were ones on the verge of losing to Moneymaker. Buffer rises from his chair, preparing his voice to be heard over the deafening swell of noise. BUFFER Your winner....MISS CALIFORNIA, KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN! COLE First a Star on The Walk of Fame, then besting your hated enemy in a no disqualification match, and in two weeks performing in your hometown at Anglemania! March has been one hell of a month for Krista Isadora Duncan! COACH Boy stop, just stop! That Anglemania performance comes against her ex-girlfriend you can bet those cholos in LA gonna be biggin up Alix a lot more then they will Kris. You can trust to that. And Moneymaker may have lost the battle tonight, but when Anglemania rolls around that's a G that's gonna win the war. Trust to that. Trust to that. Reveling in the flood of of cheers and appreciation paid to her by her loyal fanbase, Krista leans over the ropes shooting them her alluring and glimmering smile. Once she gets her fill of delighting one side of the Pepsi Center she turns around to enthrall the other. DIAMOND CUTTER BY ALIX! COLE Woah! COACH Yo! The fans aren't certain how to react or which girl to pay alliance to. Thus their swelling of noise emerges as a raucous jumbled mess. Its one that's lost one the mind of Alix Maria Spezia, who's can focus on nothing more beyond the busted body of her former lady love. The expression on Alix's face is disturbingly blank, one of a dull and terrible emptiness. And its chilling image is what we see before we... FADE OUT

Who could appear on our screen but the queen of the interview scene, Maggie Nerdly. The teeny boppin kid, who may or not be women's champion at this point in time, sports a white polo shit a black skirt with purple and white leg warmers and an Axl Rose style green headband with multicolored headbands, which I happen to be wearing right now. Maggie is stationed in the expertly decorated Action Zone, which features a wealth of flat screen television monitors, each displaying various moments in oaoast history. On the walls hang glittering replicas of the numerous oaoast titles both past and present, along with gorgeous pictures of those superstars that don't look like they've spent the previous night face down in a ditch. MAGGIE What's good, what's happening, what's cracking? Maggie Nerdly, ya girl, here to give you the VIP pass to the AfterParty. This week we go ridin on Harleys with ThunderKid, Cuban Wall, James Cone, Baron Windells, CPA, and Jumbo. Zack Malibu hooks us up with some funky dope DJing skills, and we take a tour of the Los Angeles memorial coliseum the site of Anglemania VII with Biff Atlas! Check it out at OAOAST.com Returning from break the camera cuts quickly outside, where the Burrough Boys are stomping around angrily. The camera then cuts over to their tricked-out hummer, which has been vandalized. COACH Look at this! COLE Wow, the vehicle of the Burrough Boys has been destroyed here... Windows have been busted, and tires punctured. Mariano picks up one of the rear-view mirrors, which has been knocked off. The camera then cuts inside to Reject, who is looking on with a look of curiosity. He then turns and sees Thunderkid walking towards him. Thunderkid looks outside, then lifts up a sledgehammer and speaks. THUNDERKID What's going on out there? Reject then lifts a pick axe onto his shoulder. REJECT You got me. Reject and TK then walk their separate ways, as the camera zooms back outside briefly. COLE You don't....do you think Reject had something to do with that? COACH Hell no! Reject? That faggot Reject probably ain't even from New York. He probably from Connecticut. You been to the BK? It smells like stank pussy and sewage true story! Them niggas aint gettin fresh and they DEFINATELY not keepin it wavy. White bred dudes like Reject don't be surviving in places like that. Go on and get ya slippers and morning paper, ho. Click click clack all around ya culdasack, Ward Cleaver. COLE Why oh why do I even bother speaking to you? Folks, as we well know Krista Isadora Duncan will meet her ex-girlfriend Alix Maria Spezia, but coming up next in our mainevent, we'll see her battle long time rival, Theodore Moneymaker in a gigantic grudge match! COMING UP NEXT I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS THEODORE MONEYMAKER NEXT

We go to the ring, where Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix is standing by with a big silver trophy. Oh, and fellow Cucaracha Internacional members James Blonde, Faqu, Nathaniel Black and Megan Skye of course. Landon leans casually on the top of the trophy, wagging a microphone around in his other hand as he waits for some quiet. MADDIX Last week on this very show we saw the third Torneo Cibernetico match in OAOAST history. And after a hell of an effort from sixteen of the OAOAST's finest, one man inevitably came out on top. Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in welcoming the winner of Torneo Cibernetico III... "The Urban Legend" Todd Cortez!! "Oh No" by Mos Def, Nate Dogg and Pharoah Monche hits and out walks Todd Cortez, that in one corner of the screen while in the other we're shown a flashback to last week... The recap fades away and we're back to Todd Cortez, entering the ring to the applause of his stable-'mates'. Cortez looks unimpressed by the show being put on, especially by Landon at the front of the queue, clapping the loudest, the longest and definately the showiest. COLE This is pretty gracious on Landon's part, considering. COACH That's the kinda guy Landon Maddix is, ya know. Besides, why shouldn't he make a fuss of Todd Cortez? That's his boy. He 'recruited' him to Cucaracha Internacional, he saw the potential. This is as much his victory as it is Todd's if you ask me. COLE And if you discount the Riot Act Plus and 3 count he fell to. A wary Cortez shakes hands with Landon before they position themselves either side of the trophy, for the small group of photographers positioned outside the ring. After a few snaps Landon gets the thumbs up and he shakes Todd's hand again and Cortez lifts up the trophy, tucking it as best possible under his arm. MADDIX Congratulations buddy. And I'm sure I speak on behalf of you, which I'm sure you won't mind being the humble untalkative guy that you are, when I thank your team-mates for making it all possible. The members of the surviving team of Cibernetico, Cucaracha Internacional... and The Enterprise, even though the first three guys eliminated from the team were stupid disqualifications on their part that could have cost us the entire match. Let's not hold that against them. The point is, we won regardless. COLE We? MADDIX And Todd, I know there's been some period of adjustment since you were lucky enough to be recruited by our good selves. But just as I predicted, history has bore out and here you are. Successful again! 6-Man Tag Team Champion, Cibernetico winner, a big ol' trophy to go with it. It's not the most practical thing, I know. But with the way the resources in America are right now, I bet it's value as scrap metal is pretty high. I'm sure you know some people. (Landon winks) And this is just the beginning! AngleMania is right around the corner and so is more success for you my friend. You say the word and more is in store. Cortez sets down the trophy and Landon hands off the microphone with a smile. CORTEZ ...change of plans. And, there goes the smile. CORTEZ I went to AngleSault earlier. And I've put in my request. March 30th, it's you and me, one on one, one more time. "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Landon's jaw drops and he quickly snatches back the microphone, backing up across the ring under the strain of trying to take the announcement in apparantly. MADDIX Lemme... lemme... get this straight. You... this isn't what we agreed on, damnit! Shrugging, Cortez, keeps half an eye out on the other Cucaracha Internacional members, all grouped in a corner out of the way of this dispute. Landon rubs away at his temples with his head down. MADDIX You know, you are the most STUBBORN person I think I've ever met in my life. Look at you. Look! You're part of the biggest international force in the OAOAST, Cucaracha Internacional. Your stock has risen in the past month. Because of US, you went from being some also-ran on this overbloated roster into a champion! Because of US! Because of ME! All because, for some asinine reason, I believe in you. You're a 6-Man Tag Champion. You won Cibernetico. Even after you dropped me on my head with that ridiculous piledriver of yours last week, I still organised this presentation ceremony for you, slapped on a big phony smile and pretended like my neck doesn't still hurt like hell! I even took you to that strip joint last night. And, I know, maybe that wasn't the best idea in Colorado of all places... "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" MADDIX ...but seriously, when was the last time you saw breasts without me next to you, Todd? Face it buddy, whether you wanna admit it or not, you're nothing without La Cucaracha! COLE What an egomaniac. It's like a broadway rehearsal, all I can hear is me, me, me. MADDIX And after all I've done for you, you STILL can't accept it. You can't handle the fact that maybe, just maybe, it's okay to be the follower when it's towards a great leader like myself. So, I'll tell you what Todd, maybe I have to FORCE you to accept it. Maybe, just maybe, beating you on the grandest stage there is, AngleMania, is gonna be what finally wakes you up and makes you smell the Cucaracha coffee. And that's exactly what I'm gonna do. Let's not forget, I'm undefeated at AngleMania. COACH That's true. COLE He's only had one match at AngleMania! COACH Your point is? As Landon paces around, Cortez folds his arms, waiting for him to continue. MADDIX You know what else I'm gonna do Todd. I'm gonna teach you a little bit of discipline. As of now, you're no longer part of the 6-Man Tag Team Champions! It's fair to say Cortez looks none too bothered by that, but Landon proceeds all the same. MADDIX That's right. As of now, Nathaniel Black's gonna be taking your place as champion. So, how about you think about that for a while and we'll see where that gets us. Huh? What La Cucaracha gives, he can take away as well. Don't you forget it. Black grins like a chesire cat in the background... .:CUE: "Medal":. ...until Anglesault strolls out onto the stage with a mic, shaking his head. ANGLESAULT I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but overhear. Landon, take up a look up over there would you please? Doing as he's told, Landon glances up in the direction of AS's finger. Sure enough, he's looking right at an OAOAST banner hanging from the rafters. Not an AngleMania one, thankfully. Seriously, enough already, we get it, it's almost WrestleMania, we don't need everybody to point at the damn sign. Fucking hell. ANGLESAULT Now, that says 'OAOAST'. Not 'SWF'. So, that means you don't have the power to switch titles around right now. MADDIX But it's my stable! ANGLESAULT That's the most pathetic thing I've heard in some time. Landon purses his lips a little and crosses his arms. ANGLESAULT Now, if you've really got a problem with Todd Cortez being a 6-Man Tag Champion, then that's an issue to take up with me. Obviously you're happy taking that away from him, which tells me you're not happy with them teaming up again. So, allow me to officially vacate the 6-Man Tag Team Titles. "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COACH Oh, that is bull! All of Cucaracha Internacional, sans Cortez of course, protest from the ring. But AngleSault waves at them to settle down. ANGLESAULT It's funny, I was a little disappointed when Todd came to me early, knowing we wouldn't get a 6-Man defence on the biggest show of the year. I guess this solves the problem. We'll remedy that situation later. In the meantime, you can go ahead and return the belts to my office whenever you get a free minute. Thanks. "Medal" hits again as Landon seethes, watching Cortez leaving the ring with trophy in toe. Mouths agape, Blonde and Black look at each other and wonder what just happened to their precious dreams, as Landon points an accusing finger at Cortez and warns him he's made a "big mistake".

SuperSonics 105 at Lakers 130 Swag levels was at a good 9.5 tonight. Niggas in the WC don't want it with the lake show Alix Maria Spezia's condo Los Angeles, California March 19th Tape provided by Molly Nerdly The scene is Alix's bed room, which contrary to what you might have thought is not affixed with Hello Kitty, Dorah the explorer, Hannah Montana, and Zack and Cody decor. Okay so there is a life size Miley Cyrus (she said hi to me!) poster on the wall. But other then it its a calm room decorated with a sharp modern bent. The walls are a deep dark grey, subdued by various soft Japanese paintings of flowers or pond scenes. A massive HI-DEF TV rests on the wall, just above a pitch black dresser to match the rest of the room's furniture. Oddly there are several closed boxes marked, Time Machine, Jodie Foster's childhood memories, Ted Danson's emmy, and genetic mutations, stacked near the closet. Most importantly in the king sized bed, Alix and Mackenzie lie entangled beneath the black sheets. Alix's body rests against Mackeizne's, comforted by her smooth touch as her arms snake around her torso. ALIX Woah! That was grrrrreat. And even better when, you know, there's not like my racist, homophobic grandmother on the ground having a stroke from walking in on me bent over my grandfather's old war chest. MACKENZIE Yeah, that was a bit unfortunate. ALIX Hey, you know what my favorite part was? MACKENZIE The part where you yelled, "Oh god, this is my favorite part"? Giggling Alix rolls herself on top of Mackenzie, who smiles weakly. Delighting in the feel of devastating ecstasy she's been left with, Alix can't help but pepper Mackenzie's neck with kisses. ALIX Noooooooo. The part right after that where I yelled “Oh god, I changed my mind this is my favorite part!” Hey, Molly how'd I do? MOLLY (behind the Siclopse, speaking with an English accent because that's what Molly does now) How, wonderfully, wonderful you both were! Yet, Alix, you move around a shade to much for me to keep up with. And I thought shooting pornos for Tommy Lee would be a workout! And how amazingly noisy you are! Was I shooting low grade homemade porno under the guise of art or were my ears being slaughtered by a jet engine? Mackenzie notices the fact that Alix's Yorkshire Terriers have been eying her down the entire time. MACKENZIE (uneasy) Alix? ALIX Yes, honey bunches of oats? MACKENZIE What are the dogs doing? ALIX Watching their daddy! MACKENZIE Ignoring the fact that I've somehow been masculinzed and affixed with a schlong and asking: The whole time? ALIX Since the git-go, homo. I think they're real proud of you. You put a lot more effort into it then that life size stand up of Jodie Foster I used to have. Although, you're a lil harder for them to pee on. But, hey that's kinda cool for Ally! MACKENZIE All right, show's over! ALIX Move along, move along, like I know you will! Move along! Hey, are ya ready to call it a night? I could do that until Easter Sunday...I have done that until Easter Sunday. But you look kinda sleepy. Come on, let's go. MACKENZIE Didn't you just...I thought we were going to sleep? ALIX We are, but not here. Duh! Alix allows no opportunity for Mackenzie's confused mind to gather up any protests. She wraps her body within the cocoon of the bed sheet, while Mackenzie gazes on in wonderment. Wonderment soon turns to reluctant weariness as Alix drags her off the bed as well. Tangled in Alix's web of silk and satin bed covers, Mackenzie is hauled into the living room quite against her will. With the two Yorkies trailing behind them, the lovers plop down in front of the wall length window that overlooks the Los Angeles skyline. MACKENZIE Uh? What? ALIX Hey, Mac-Attack, what do you think we would have done if we hadn't gotten engaged? MACKENZIE I don't know. Not sent away for brochures from a place in South Dakota called Big Sam's Titty City, wedding chapel and mortgage refinancing. ALIX Well, you know what? I'm so totally stoked on that spot. Because like then every moment with you we'll be like waah! Surprise! Floopy cow girl boobies and thirty year fixed mortgage rates! MACKENZIE I know what you mean. Will we be sleeping here every night? ALIX Don't be silly, billy. Only when it's a full moon. MACKENZIE The full moon, of course. Stupid of me to ask that question. You don't turn into anything unpleasant, do you? ALIX What? Is that supposed to be a joke? MACKENZIE Um....yeah. ALIX! Well, it's not funny! Not one bit! Oh my god, wouldn't it be trippy if I was really like that? Oh my god, wow, total awesome idea for ya! We should have a killer, like, party right up here celebrating the engagement. We could have a band, and we could have a couple of kegs, some weed, some of my niggas from the Wu-Tang Clan. I haven't smoked out with Redman in a minute. We could invite our parents! And they could meet each other and maybe partner swap! We'd have to hire security because my dad kinda narced on the Mexican Mafia in exchange for a reduced sentence but wouldn't that be oh my god so freaking great? Suddenly Mackenzie's face becomes contorted by frustration. MACKENZIE I think that maybe partying is not the best idea, right now. Alix looks at Mackenzie with shocked disappointment. ALIX Exsqueeze me bacon powder? When is a party not a kick ass idea? MACKENZIE When you've missed concerts, recording sessions, and photo shoots because you're out partying, that's when. When all that happens, when professional conduct is put in danger by personal conduct then it becomes not so much of a kick ass idea. It becomes a headache.....a very annoying headache. ALIX Oh no! I do feel kinda warm! MACKENZIE That's because you have a heating blanket on top of your head. I'm talking about me! In one ear out the other, that's just the way it is with you. Its like why should I even bother speaking to you when you'll only hear what you want to hear. ALIX Yeah, sure I'd love to invite Molly into our marriage. You mean threesomes right? 'Cause I don't wanna have to like talk to her and stuff. No dis, Mol. MOLLY (behind the camera) Whatever will pay the student loan! MACKENZIE There you go! ALIX Be chill, Mackie. Lay off me. I'm just a girl havin' fun. Right? That's what you tell all these suck ass reporters who keep getting up in my face. MACKENZIE Yeah, and fun is fine until it affects me. This is my job, don't you understand. Moneymaker is counting on you to be his bridge into the entertainment industry! Do not think for a second a guy who poured so much money into investing in a low level television station like TSM, is just going to be content trading wins with homoerotic cowboys. There is ambition for greatness. There is a will to make his empire span industries, but until you came along there wasn't a way. I changed that, I gave him you, and a promise that you're his golden ticket. What happens if the goose that's supposed to lay the golden egg can't even deliver? What happens if Beauty Crush bombs because of you? What happens to me? Where does that leave me if you can't get your shit together? ALIX Why are you being so mean to me? MACKENZIE Why are you being so mean to me? Why do you have to become some horrible Hollywood cliché at the exact moment when I need you to thrive? I have been nothing but good to you, since I found you in front of my Apartment, cold, soaked by the rain, shivering like a lost puppy. I've thrown away my dreams of the normal American family with the husband, wife, 2.5 kids, to live with two neurotic barely house broken dogs, and a neurotic barely housebroken drug addict. Now, you give me something back! Something besides headaches, because that's all I've gotten from you! I should be enjoying the prime of my life, loving you, relishing your success, instead I'm running damage control. Well, get it together. You want to be part of the party? You better earn your way into it first! Because you'll be pretty easy to write off once you crash and burn. ALIX Hey! MACKENZIE Hey, what? What could you possibly have to say to me? Maybe I should go a few blocks down sunset see if Krista will take me in. Because there's a woman with a worldwide fitness empire, her own television show, and a star on the walk of fame. There's a woman who has her shit together, and if you got some time maybe you can go down to the coliseum and see where exactly she's going to leave you lying on the 30th! So why the fuck am I shacking up with some girl who can barely make it through a day without spilling half her guts from ODing on pills? Answer me that! Alix has no answer or even a rebuttal to Mackenzie anger. All she has is the strength to stand off the floor, and depart towards the door. MACKENZIE Baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. ALIX Lemme alone! Lemme alone! I don't give a crap about Moneymaker and all his stupid...his stupid goals and wacked out ideas! I want Krista gone for me! That's why I'm doing this! For me, okay! For me! Your boss, ya know...he's whatever, I don't care! Just lemme alone! MACKENZIE Alix... ALIX I said leave me alone! Okay? Just lemme breathe for a bit. I don't wanna say something that'll hurt you. You hurt me enough for both of us. And like that Alix disappears through the door, apparently not concerned that she's clothed by a heating pad and a Barbie bed sheet. MOLLY Marvelous handling of that, lesbinova. Couldn't have ruined the relationship any better if you had slept with her mom! MACKENZIE That's one of her biggest fantasies actually. And shut up, anyway, go back to Edmonton and film documentaries on the migratory pattern of Moose when people with Maple Syrup fetishes are passing a kidney stone. Mackenzie storms away, angered with Alix's hasty departure and her not taking the annoying intern with her. MOLLY I'll have you know I won a Canadian filmmaker of the year award for a documentary just like that! COMMERCIAL

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