Patty O'Green

"THE C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-CORP-CORPORA-CORPORATION" “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The crowd starts booing loudly. The lights go down in the arena as the opening to “No Chance In Hell” starts playing. Smoke fills the entrance stage. And then, the crescendo hits, and “I NEED YA RIGHT NOW!” *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* hits the entrance stage. “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds starts playing over the P.A. system. *No chance (No chance) That’s what ya got! (Ha! Ha! Yeah!) We’re up against no machine too strong (Too strong) Pussy politicians buying souls for us are…PUPPETS! (Puppets!)* Pink spotlights converge around the arena. White pyro cascades down in the entrance as the entrance doors slide open and the Popicks -- Stephen Joseph and Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick come out to remarkably LOUD boos from the thousands in attendance. Stephen Joseph does his trademark crucifix pose while Lindsay stands to his right with her hands on her hips. Stephen Joseph then turns around with an evil smile on his face, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt strapped around his waist. SJ taunts the fans, and then points to Lindsay telling the fans, “She’s mine! Not yours!” Lindsay nods her head in agreement. Lindsay does the “Look at my body” pose, and then unstraps the OAOAST Women’s Championship belt from around her waist and raises it over her head with her right hand while her husband raises his hands in the air to loud boos as strobe lights appear over, under and on both sides of the AngleTron. COACH Truly, they are the GOLDEN COUPLE of the OAOAST! Stephen Joseph kisses his wife on the lips, and then directs her to the ring. Stephen Joseph walks down the entrance ramp with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt around his waist, while Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick walks down the entrance ramp holding the OAOAST Women’s Championship belt over her left shoulder. The Popicks walk down the entrance ramp arm-in-arm. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is an Intergender Tag Team Match scheduled for one fall with TV time remaining. Introducing first, coming to the ring at this time. At a total combined weight of 345 lbs. Representing the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation. They are the team of the One And Only AngleSault Thread Women’s Champion MISSES LINDSAY GONZALEZ-POPICK AND the One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the Woooooorrrrlllllllllllllld…STEPHEN JOSEPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH POPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! Lindsay smirks at the crowd. Stephen Joseph won’t stop running his mouth on the way to the ring as “No Chance In Hell” continues playing. COLE Big time main event as we are just FOUR weeks away from AngleMania VII! And the two men in this match-up will collide for the OAOAST Championship in the main event of AngleMania VII! COACH The day of reckoning is upon us, Michael Cole! PRL might have been able to avoid retirement last month, but he is going to regret not retiring when Popick gets through with him at AngleMania! COLE OR, will Tha Puerto Rican finally realize his dream of being World Champion in only 24 days? COACH Cole, look at who you’re talking who. Come on! Seriously! Lindsay laughs at all of the women in the audience. She points to her Women’s Title belt some more. She then makes sure to avoid all contact with the fans as she climbs up the ring steps and enters the ring. Lindsay poses in the center in the ring to boos as confetti drops from the rafters. COLE The men already have an issue, but this match came about because of the women in this match! This past weekend on OAOAST Syndicated, Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick defended the Women’s Title against Maggie Nerdly and won thanks to some timely interference from her husband, Stephen Joseph. Afterwards, the Popicks looked to attack Maggie, but she was saved from an assault by Tha Puerto Rican, who suffered the burnt of the attack instead. COACH It has not been a good week for Tha Puerto Rican. First his best friend loses to Stephen Joseph on the Leap Year Spectacular thereby ruining The Badd Boy vs. Badd Boy match that every OAOAST fan wanted to see at AngleMania VII, and then when he TRIES to do some good for once in his life, he pays for it with a ::Beltshot:: to the back of the head! Oh well, sucks to be you! COLE It hasn’t been the best of weeks for The People’s Champ, but I’m sure that he is able to sleep at night knowing that on March 30th he has a chance to finally become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, and by defeating his former manager and “Career Consultant” in the process! COACH How can he sleep at night when he goes to bed alone? Lindsay’s with Stephen Joseph now! COLE I think PRL is over her now, Coach. After what he’s been through over the past five months, after how much the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation has made his life a living hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if he never wanted to see her or anyone else in the Corporation ever again. COACH Well, he’s going to see PLENTY of her tonight! PR and Lindsay in a match together for the first time as enemies! This is going to be sweet! PRL is going to get his ass kicked by his ex-fiancée! COLE We’ll see, Coach. We’ll see. Stephen Joseph Popick jogs up the ring steps. The male Popick scales the turnbuckles. With one foot on the top turnbuckle pad, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion scans the crowd for his fans. He doesn’t find any, so he smirks. Popick jumps off of the top turnbuckle and joins his wife inside the ring. He embraces his lovely wife, smiles at her, and then gives her a kiss on the lips. Stephen Joseph and Lindsay look at the fans, look at the cameras, and then look at each other. They stand near the ring ropes…and do The Corporate Salute to LOUD boos. A giant Puerto Rican flag falls from the rafters. Stephen Joseph Popick unstraps the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt from around his waist and raises it over his head. Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick raises the OAOAST Women’s Championship belt over her head. The crowd boos viciously. COACH Yeah! Look at that! THAT’S power! THAT’S greatness right there! THAT is perfection! The Popicks are the Golden Couple of the One And Only AngleSault Thread! COLE Stephen Joseph and Lindsay are indeed at the top of the mountain. They hold the most prestigious titles one can hope to obtain in the One And Only AngleSault Thread. Lindsay at the top of the women’s division, Stephen Joseph at the top of the One And Only AngleSault Thread mountain. COACH And that’s the way it’ll stay. At AngleMania VII AND BEYOND! Lindsay bobs her head to “No Chance In Hell”. The lights go back on in the arena. Lindsay holds the OAOAST Women’s Championship belt over her left shoulder, while Popick holds the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his right shoulder. They talk strategy about their upcoming match. COLE An Intergender Tag Team Match. The men can wrestle the women and vice versa. COACH And you just KNOW that Lindsay is looking forward to getting her hands on Tha Puerto Rican! COLE That wouldn’t surprise me, Coach. PRL might have the slight disadvantage in this contest. Maggie Nerdly is the least experienced of the four competitors in this match! COACH Well in that case, you just KNOW that Lindsay is looking to getting her hands on Maggie Nerdly too! ESPECIALLY after OAOAST Syndicated this past weekend! Stephen Joseph and Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick pace around the ring, each one holding their respective title belt. “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds dies down. The crowd buzzes in anticipation for the faces’ entrances. COLE Tha Puerto Rican and Maggie Nerdly teaming up for the first time ever, as are the Popicks, Lindsay and Stephen Joseph, if you can believe that. COACH They’ve only been together since August, Cole. And half of that time they had to keep it on the down low to avoid having Tha Puerto Rican find out about it and thus ruin Stephen Joseph's plan. Not that surprising. COLE Yeah, but… COACH Just be quiet. “Monster” by Meg & Dia brings the crowd to its collective feet. Green and gold lights flash on the entrance stage. Pillars of smoke spring forth from around the chaotic illumination. The entrance doors slide open, and Maggie Nerdly skips out from the back, flashing the famous Nerdly RAWK~! devil horns for the adoring crowd to see. Maggie points to the fans in the arena, and then walks down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way. BUFFER And their opponents. First, coming to the ring at this time. From Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. MAGGGGIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE NERRRDDDDDDDDLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! The crowd cheers as Maggie continues walking to the ring. COLE Maggie Nerdly has spent more time doing interviews than wrestling ever since she came to the OAOAST! But she’s got one hell of a partner for this match here tonight! COACH Yeah, one hell of a choke artist for a partner here tonight! COLE Will you stop!? COACH And good to see that Maggie has moved on so quickly from Leon Rodez and has shacked up, no pun intended, with Tha Puerto Rican! COLE They’re just tag team partners here tonight, Coach. They haven’t had any past interaction whatsoever. COACH Yeah sure. You don’t think that Tha Puerto Rican doesn’t want a taste of that sweet, barely legal, Canadian nectar? Hell, I do! Maggie’s probably going to end up having as many kids as she does brothers and sisters, and they all probably won’t come from the same father! COLE Oh, will you stop!?!? Maggie stops at the end of the entrance ramp. Lindsay taunts her from inside of the ring, pointing to the OAOAST Women’s Championship belt repeatedly, while Popick holds the ropes for Maggie to enter the ring. Maggie, of course, shakes her head no. Instead, she talks trash to Lindsay from outside of the ring. COLE Maggie Nerdly hasn’t forgotten about this past weekend’s OAOAST Syndicated. She wants some of Lindsay tonight! COACH Hey, I want some of Lindsay EVERY night! COLE We know, Coach. We know. “Monster” by Meg & Dia dies down. Maggie tosses her bouquet behind her back and into the audience. She then removes her white bridal veil. COLE Both women haven’t wrestled as much as their male partners, but I don’t think this will be a showcase of technical skill here tonight! COACH Yes! Catfight! Catfight! CATFIGHT! Maggie taunts the Popicks and then points to the entrance. “THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP…” *DUN DUN* “…IS…” *DUN* “…HERE!” “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and “Know Your Role 2000” begins playing, with the crowd exploding in cheers. The lights go down in the arena. PR is heard saying, “THE CHAMP IS HERE!” in tune with the beat of the song, while smoke fills the entrance stage and spotlights circle around and around the arena. A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and then Tha Puerto Rican quickly saunters out through the smoke and power walks to the ring, not stopping at all, keeping his eyes solely focused on the Popicks in the ring. The crowd cheers louder than before. BUFFER And her tag team partner. Coming to the ring at this time. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 220 lbs. He is the #1 Contender to the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship AND is one-half of The Badd Boyz. He is THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Tha Puerto Rican taunts the Popicks, while Maggie smiles with her hands on her hips. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is heading to AngleMania VII to take on Stephen Joseph Popick for the World Heavyweight Title! After last Thursday, we now know that to be a fact. The contract has been signed. The match is set in stone. Tha Puerto Rican WILL indeed meet Stephen Joseph Popick for the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship at OAOAST AngleMania VII on March 30th from the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum in Los Angeles, California! COACH So the contract signing already happened? COLE Yep, this past Monday. COACH Rats! I wanted to see the contract signing live! You know how they always end. COLE Which is why it happened on Monday and not on HeldDOWN~!. COACH Damnit! Tha Puerto Rican stops at ringside to slap hands with the fans before power walking around the ringside area. PRL glances over at Maggie, and then climbs the ring steps and then gets onto the ring apron. Tha Puerto Rican gives the crowd and Maggie The People’s Eyebrow. Maggie chuckles. Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring. He spins around; soaking in the fans’ cheers while “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing over the P.A. system. Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. The crowd cheers loudly. PRL heads to a second turnbuckle and raises his hands in the air. PRL then gets off of the second turnbuckle and then heads to another second turnbuckle where he raises his hands in the air again. PR then gets off of the second turnbuckle and walks on over to a third second turnbuckle, passing by Stephen Joseph, who holds the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in front of him. PR hits a third second turnbuckle and raises his right fist into the air while he “smells the electricity” as a single spotlight shines on him ala The Rock. Maggie applauds PRL while Popick stares at him. COLE All of these fans are standing on their feet! Tha Puerto Rican is looking to get some of Stephen Joseph here tonight, 24 days away from their showdown for the World Heavyweight Title at AngleMania VII! Maggie Nerdly enters the ring. Tha Puerto Rican gets off of the turnbuckle and walks on over to the only turnbuckle he hasn’t posed on, glancing at Stephen Joseph, who is still holding the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in front of him. PRL does the same Rock pose on the fourth second turnbuckle receiving cheers. Tha Puerto Rican gets off of the second turnbuckle and then removes his sunglasses and earring and hands them over to a ringside attendant. Stephen Joseph has removed his sunglasses and crucifix, while Lindsay has removed her sunglasses and hoop earrings. Maggie has removed her white satin bridal gloves. COLE The men in this match have an issue. The women in this match are developing an issue. This is our main event on tonight’s HeldDOWN~! Tha Puerto Rican stares at Stephen Joseph Popick. He and his former manager and “Career Consultant” exchange words, with their respective women giving each other dirty looks. COLE We all know how Stephen Joseph Popick and Tha Puerto Rican feel about each other! It is going to be one hell of a match! The biggest main event in AngleMania history! Tha Puerto Rican vs. Stephen Joseph Popick! The OAOAST World Heavyweight Title up for grabs! The main event of OAOAST AngleMania VII on Sunday March 30th from the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum in Los Angeles, California! Student vs. Teacher! Master vs. Protégé! They have a long history with each other, and we may see the final chapter written in four weeks time! COACH And that chapter will end with Tha Puerto Rican staring up at the night sky while Stephen Joseph Popick raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title belt over his head! The perfect, CORPORATE ending! Tha Puerto Rican and Maggie Nerdly discuss strategy. Stephen Joseph tells Lindsay to hold the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt so that he can rush over and blindside Tha Puerto Rican…BUT THA PUERTO RICAN IS READY WITH A PUNCH OF HIS OWN! And another punch! And another punch! Referee Earl Hebner sees this and calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* INTERGENDER TAG TEAM MATCH THA PUERTO RICAN AND MAGGIE NERDLY vs. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK & MRS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ-POPICK The lights go back on in the arena. “Know Your Role 2000” dies down. Tha Puerto Rican continues hammering Popick with Rock-style punches to the temple! The punches take Popick to a neutral corner. PR continues with the punching. Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! BLOCKED! Stephen Joseph fires with a right jab! He fires off with another right jab! And another! Popick’s punches take PRL away from the turnbuckle corner! COACH Stephen Joseph’s laying the smackdown on Tha Puerto Rican just like he will at AngleMania! HA! HA! The punches cause Tha Puerto Rican to stagger. SJP grabs PR by his left hand and then whips him into the ropes. PRL bounces off of the ropes, Popick puts his head down, so Puerto Rican grabs Stephen Joseph and gives him a spinning neckbreaker to a pop! COLE And Tha Puerto Rican is back in this match with that spinning neckbreaker! PRL and Popick both get up. Maggie and Lindsay look on as Tha Puerto Rican nails Popick with a Rock-style punch to the temple. Stephen Joseph bounces off of the ring ropes, right into another Rock-style punch to the temple from Tha Puerto Rican! This time Stephen Joseph stumbles into his corner…where Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick slaps his back! COLE Uh-oh. COACH Yeah! Here we go! Earl Hebner saw the tag, so Lindsay is now the legal person in the match. Lindsay enters the ring and walks with a swagger right up to Tha Puerto Rican. The crowd starts booing. Tha Puerto Rican stares at his ex with a serious look on his face. COLE And now it’s just the two of them. Tha Puerto Rican and Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick. Former lovers. Now bitter enemies. Tha Puerto Rican was going to marry that girl! COACH Yeah, but Popick took her and all of his friends away from him in one fell swoop! COLE That was terrible. COACH You can’t say that he didn’t have it coming! COLE Touché. Lindsay runs her mouth to her ex-fiancée. PRL just stares at her. Stephen Joseph roots his wife on. COLE This is Intergender Rules, so that means that Tha Puerto Rican CAN wrestle Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick! COACH Go get ’im, Lindsay! Show your ex WHY he is your ex! Lindsay continues running her mouth…that is until Tha Puerto Rican puts his right hand in front of Lindsay’s face. He then points to Maggie Nerdly. The crowd cheers. Maggie outstretches her right hand for the tag. PRL walks right over to Maggie and makes the tag to her. COACH Rats! I wanted to see them fight! Maggie enters the ring and Lindsay immediately begs off! But the 18-year-old Nerdly sister runs right after the OAOAST Women’s Champion and SPEARS HER! COACH Look out! The crowd goes wild as Maggie gets on top of Lindsay and starts hammering away at her gorgeous face! COACH Get that dumb Canuck off of the Women’s Champ! COLE Lindsay’s from Canada too, Coach! COACH Well then she’s the only good thing to come out of Canada then! Maggie continues assaulting Lindsay with right hands! Then she grabs Lindsay by her EARS, and starts slamming her head repeatedly onto the mat! COLE And Maggie Nerdly going to work on the OAOAST Women’s Champion! COACH PRL was such a wuss. Refusing to fight his ex-girlfriend! What a coward! COLE I think he would rather not hurt Lindsay TOO much. I mean, he WAS with her for four years after all. And besides, Maggie has a score to settle with Lindsay! COACH These Nerdlys are all the same. Sore losers! Each and every last one of them…except Abdullah and Molly of course! Maggie stops slamming Lindsay’s head and gets up to her feet. She motions for Lindsay to get up. Stephen Joseph yells out words of encouragement for his wife while Tha Puerto Rican just watches. Maggie picks Lindsay up, removing her scrunchee and letting her hair down in the process. Maggie Nerdly applies a facelock on Lindsay, and then puts Lindsay’s left arm over her head. Maggie grabs Lindsay’s pink short shorts and then lifts her up, giving her a snap suplex onto the mat! COLE Snap suplex! Basic, but it works! COACH The only good thing about this match so far is all of the upskirt shots we have gotten from Maggie! Maggie waits for Lindsay to get up. When she does, Maggie bounces off of the ropes and nails Lindsay with a clothesline! COLE Maggie with the knockdown! COACH OUCH! That HAD to hurt! Maggie motions for Lindsay to get up. When she doesn’t, Maggie decides to head to the opposite ropes--Stephen Joseph grabs Maggie by her hair and refuses to let go! Maggie screams for her life! COACH Yes! COLE Oh come on! Leave her alone! She’s gonna get killed by Popick! COACH Exactly! HURT HER, STEPHEN! Stephen Joseph taunts Maggie as he continues holding onto her blonde locks. He laughs manically, but suddenly Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring and knocks Popick off of the ring apron with a punch! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH Crap! COLE Tha Puerto Rican coming to the aid of his tag team partner! COACH See, he lusts after Maggie! COLE He did it out of the goodness of his heart, Coach! Nothing more. COACH Tha Puerto Rican has a heart? COLE He does now, apparently. Earl Hebner forces PRL to go back to his corner. Meanwhile, Maggie Nerdly grabs a hold of Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick’s jet black hair with pink highlights. Maggie places Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick in between her legs (SCANDAL~!). But Stephen Joseph Popick comes back into the ring in the nick of time and punches Maggie right in the face knocking her down! COACH All right, Popick! COLE Stephen Joseph saving his wife right there! COACH He is such a good husband! I wish he was my husband…oops. Did I say that out loud? COLE Oh yeah. COACH Crap! The crowd BOOS loudly. PRL calls attention to Popick’s evil misdeed, but the referee is only paying attention to PRL. Stephen Joseph chuckles as he walks back to his corner. Lindsay and Maggie both lie on the mat. COLE Stephen Joseph almost beheading Maggie Nerdly right there! COACH All’s fair in love and war and this is a little bit of both! Now it’s up to Lindsay to finish the job! Let’s go baby! Lindsay catches her breath. She then winks at her husband, who winks back. Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick delivers a soccer kick to Maggie Nerdly’s stomach! Lindsay then smiles at Stephen Joseph. MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ-POPICK I LOVE YOU BABY! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Lindsay blows a kiss to her husband, who holds his right cheek after being ‘kissed’. Stephen Joseph looks at his wife lovingly. COACH Ah, young love! COLE Oh brother. COACH Just because your only partner has been your hand all these years doesn’t mean you should rain on other people’s parades when THEY‘VE got somebody! COLE I am happily married, Coach. COACH Blow-up dolls don’t count, Michael. Lindsay grabs Maggie and then applies a front facelock on her. Lindsay cinches the hold tight. Lindsay walks with Maggie over to a neutral corner where she proceeds to stand sit on the top turnbuckle. With the facelock still applied, Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick jumps off of the second turnbuckle and delivers a Tornado DDT to Maggie Nerdly! COACH Beautiful move! Absolutely stupendous move from Lindsay! THAT’S why she’s been the Women’s Champ for almost a year! THAT’S why! COLE I thought it was because of her husband’s corporate connections-- COACH Don’t start. “MAG-GIE!” “MAG-GIE!” “MAG-GIE!” “MAG-GIE!” Lindsay smiles evilly after she gets up. She points to Maggie and tells her husband to “Finish the job!” She then makes the tag to Stephen Joseph and somehow the boos manage to become even louder. COLE Lindsay with the tag to her husband. So now it’s Stephen Joseph Popick and Maggie Nerdly in the ring alone together! COACH And unlike Puerto, Popick ain’t lusting after no Nerdly sibling! Popick laughs evilly as he stands over the fallen Nerdly. He glances over at PRL and smiles evilly. COLE Popick taking his time, obviously. COACH He’s the Champ! He can afford to do that. COLE Yeah, he’s the Champ. But for how long? COACH FOR A LONG TIME! Stephen Joseph Popick grabs Maggie Nerdly by her hair and smiles evilly at Tha Puerto Rican. Tha Puerto Rican yells at Popick. Then he changes his mind and runs over to attack PRL knocking him off of the ring apron! COACH There’s some payback for you! The crowd boos. Stephen Joseph quickly runs over and grabs Maggie, applying a Full Nelson on her. COLE Oh no, don’t tell me! COACH Finality come up! Popick walks to a neutral corner--but is cut off by Tha Puerto Rican! Popick falls to the mat! COLE And Tha Puerto Rican coming to the rescue of Maggie Nerdly once again! COACH See? He wants her! And I don’t blame him one bit quite honestly! Tha Puerto Rican trash talks Popick as he walks back to his corner, ignoring Earl Hebner’s orders to return to his corner along the way. Both Stephen Joseph and Maggie lie on the mat. COACH Get back to your corner, P.R.! COLE He’s doing it, Coach. COACH As well he should. COLE Maggie and Popick need to make the tag big time! COACH COME ON POPICK! TAG YOUR WIFE! Maggie starts crawling over to her corner. Tha Puerto Rican has his right hand extended for the tag. COACH Stop her! Stop her Popick! COLE Maggie Nerdly has been punched and given a Tornado DDT, she’s gotta be running on empty! Maggie inches closer and closer to Tha Puerto Rican. PRL stretches his right hand out as much as he can. COACH Come on Popick! Don’t let her make the tag! COLE Maggie looking to make the tag! Can she? Will she? Maggie stretches her left hand out…but Stephen Joseph grabs Maggie by her left leg and drags her to the Corporation corner! He then makes the tag back to Lindsay! COLE And Lindsay back in this match-up! COACH Yes! Lindsay plays with her hair and then picks Maggie up. She grabs Maggie by her left hand, and then gives her an Irish whip into the ropes. Maggie comes back with a flying forearm knocking Lindsay down! Both Lindsay and Maggie lie in the center of the ring. COACH Damnit! COLE And Maggie fires back! And now BOTH women are down! Seeing both women on the mat, Earl Hebner starts his 10 count. Stephen Joseph and Tha Puerto Rican both show concern for their partners. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Lindsay make the tag! LINDSAY! MAKE THE TAG! Maggie and Lindsay both start crawling towards their corners, causing Earl Hebner to stop his 10 count. The crowd is ready to explode as Maggie inches closer and closer to Tha Puerto Rican. Popick continues shouting insructions to Lindsay. STEPHEN JOSEPH GIVE ME THE TAG! GIVE ME THE TAG! Maggie has her right hand outstretched for a tag. PRL stretches his right hand out to receive the tag. Meanwhile, Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick continues crawling over to Popick, who also has his right hand out for the tag. COACH Look at Lindsay, on her knees, crawling-- COLE Stop right there. COACH Awww. Maggie Nerdly inches closer and closer to Tha Puerto Rican. Closer… Closer… Closer… Closer… Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick tags in Stephen Joseph Popick. AND MAGGIE NERDLY TAGS IN THA PUERTO RICAN AT THE SAME TIME! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH AAH! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is in! Tha Puerto Rican charges forward and clotheslines Popick down! COACH OH NO! Stephen Joseph gets back up! And Tha Puerto Rican charges forward again, knocking him down with another clothesline! Popick gets back up again! So Tha Puerto Rican hits him with a right hand to take him down to the mat once more! PRL waits for Popick to get close to him. When he does, Puerto kicks Popick in the stomach, grabs him, hooks him up…and gives him a Cradle DDT! COLE PRL with the Esto Daño De La Cogida De La Voluntad! COACH GET UP POPICK! PRL covers Popick! He hooks his left leg. 1... 2... KICK OUT!!!! COACH Phew! COLE Popick kicked out at the count of 2! COACH Just like he will kick out of every pin attempt Tha Puerto Rican tries at AngleMania VII! Tha Puerto Rican waits for Popick to get back up to his feet. When Stephen Joseph gets back to a vertical base, Tha Puerto Rican charges forward with a clothesline--DUCKED! Popick grabs PRL and gives him a high angle neckbreaker! COLE Popick counters! What a magnificent move by the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, countering Tha Puerto Rican into the high angle neckbreaker! COACH Just a taste of what’s to come at AngleMania! Stephen takes a moment to catch his breath and then gets up. He goes over to where PRL is lying and starts stomping him all over his body. Popick picks Tha Puerto Rican up by his shaved head and takes him over to a neutral corner where he proceeds to slam PRL’s face into the top turnbuckle pad. SJP then starts kicking PRL in the mid-section repeatedly while Lindsay cheers him on. COLE And now Stephen Joseph Popick taking it to Tha Puerto Rican! These two men will collide for the OAOAST Title in just 24 days at AngleMania VII in the biggest main event in AngleMania history! COACH It is going to be great, Cole! It is going to be a classic! A night to remember in the City of Angels! I cannot wait! SJP continues stomping on PRL again and again, sending The People’s Champion slumping onto the mat! Maggie Nerdly looks on in concern as Popick taunts PRL. POPICK YOU AIN’T NOTHING! YOU AIN’T NOTHING! YOU…ARE…NOTHING! “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” Popick lunges at Earl Hebner when he tries to stop him. Popick goes over to yell at Earl Hebner. When he’s done verbally harassing the referee, he returns to Tha Puerto Rican and is met with a left hand! And another! And another! And another! Tha Puerto Rican fires away with left hands dazing the One And Only AngleSault Thread Champion! P.R. grabs Stephen Joseph and gives him an Irish whip into the opposite ropes--Popick reverses--he goes for a clothesline, Tha Puerto Rican ducks, charges forward, bounces off of the ropes, right into a high knee from Popick! COACH YEAH-UH~! Stephen Joseph covers Tha Puerto Rican. 1... 2... RIGHT SHOULDER UP!!!! COACH DAMN! COLE PRL still not done yet! COACH Popick will get him tonight and he’ll get him at AngleMania VII! SJ yells at the referee, but the ref puts two fingers up. Popick gives him a finger in return. SJP picks PRL up and takes him over to a neutral corner where he proceeds to slam Puerto’s head into the top turnbuckle pad. Popick chuckles as he punches PRL. PRL punches him back! Popick punches PRL! PRL punches him back again! Both men, feeling fatigued, take a few seconds to recover fromt the shots to the head. Tha Puerto Rican hits Popick with a Rock-style punch to the temple. Then another! Then another! Puerto whips Popick into the ropes. Popick bounces off of the ropes, Lindsay slaps Popick’s back, PRL puts his head down, so Popick kicks him right in the face! COACH Look at that! Awesome! Stephen Joseph bounces off of the ropes… RIGHT INTO A SPINEEBUSSSTTTTTTAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~! COACH OH NO! The crowd comes to life! PRL gets right back up and looks at the crowd. COACH UH-OH! Tha Puerto Rican looks down at Stephen Joseph Popick…and kicks Popick’s right arm onto his chest. PRL removes his right elbow pad--MRS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ-POPICK ENTERS THE RING AND CLIMBS ONTO THA PUERTO RICAN’S BACK! MRS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ-POPICK RAKES THA PUERTO RICAN’S EYES! COLE Oh my! COACH Yeah! COLE Lindsay just mounted Tha Puerto Rican from behind! PRL holds his eyes in pain. Lindsay stands behind PRL with an ANGRY look on her beautiful face. *SLAP!* MRS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ-POPICK SLAPS THA PUERTO RICAN RIGHT ACROSS THE FACE! COACH YES! THAT’S for four years of misery! COLE Four years of what!? Oh come on! PRL stumbles from the slap. The crowd boos. They boo even more when Popick kicks PRL in the gut and then applies a front facelock on him. COLE Could be FallenAngel time, Coach! COACH BREAK HIS FREAKING BACK! MAKE SURE HE DOESN’T EVEN MAKE IT TO ANGLEMANIA VII! COLE Lindsay is the legal participant now. She made the blind tag so she’s staying in the ring! COACH Yeah! She’s gonna watch her ex fall right before her very eyes! How many girls would love to see that!? Lindsay stays in the ring and watches as Popick puts PRL’s right arm over his head. He then grabs Puerto’s long red tights--Tha Puerto Rican slips out of Popick’s grasp! Puerto then grabs Stephen Joseph by his head and just throws him right into the Corporate corner, right into Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH AAAAHHHHHHHHHH! Lindsay is completely out of it! She crumbles onto the mat! COLE Popick just crashed into his wife! COACH LINDSAY! WAKE UP! Stephen Joseph is also dazed and doesn’t realized that he just hurt his wife. The male Popick stumbles out of the turnbuckle and walks right into a left hand from Tha Puerto Rican! PRL fires away with punches weakening Stephen Joseph even more than he was before! Punch! Punch! Punch! PRL SPITS INTO HIS LEFT HAND~! Punch! Stephen Joseph goes flying over the top ring rope and onto the floor! COACH Look out! COLE Tha Puerto Rican just laid the smackdown on the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! COACH GET UP POPICK! Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick charges forward. SPINEBUSTER~!!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH No! No! No! Don’t tell me! NOT TO HER! COLE He might! He just might! The crowd comes alive…again! Tha Puerto Rican walks on over and stands tall over the fallen Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick. PRL taunts Lindsay, looks at the crowd, looks at Stephen Joseph on the outside…and then kicks Lindsay’s right arm onto her chest. COLE He is! He’s gonna do it! He’s gonna do it right this instance! COACH ARGH! GET UP LINDSAY! GET UP POPICK! SOMEBODY GET UP RIGHT NOW! Tha Puerto Rican removes his right elbow pad and throws it into the crowd. He then does some weird hand signals and then bounces off of the ropes, leaps over Lindsay, and then bounces off of the opposite ropes. COLE It’s now time for the most electrifying move in professional wrestling, The Puerto Rico Elbow! Tha Puerto Rican stops dead in his tracks…and then drops The Puerto Rico Elbow onto Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick to a big pop from the crowd! COACH AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! COLE The Puerto Rico Elbow! The Puerto Rico Elbow connects on Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick! COACH SHE’S A WOMAN FOR CHRISSAKES! SHE’S YOUR EX! COLE How many men would love to do this to their exes!? COACH Oh that is so misogynistic, Cole! You should be ashamed of yourself for that comment! Tha Puerto Rican goes for the cover until he sees Maggie Nerdly stretch out her right hand on the ring apron. PRL questions why she’s doing this and Maggie says she wants the tag. THA PUERTO RICAN Right now? MAGGIE NERDLY Yes! Right now! Tha Puerto Rican looks to the fans, asking them if he should make the tag. The fans cheer loudly. So PRL shrugs his shoulders and gets up, walking over to his corner and making the tag to Maggie Nerdly. COLE And now Maggie with the tag! COACH Lindsay is out cold! What’s Maggie gonna do to her? I can’t watch. Oh yes I can! Popick pulls PRL out of the ring and slams his head on top of the top steel ring step! While back in the ring, Maggie Nerdly has a smile on her face as she picks Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick up. As PRL and Popick brawl on the outside, Maggie Nerdly grabs Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick…AND GIVES HER A HAMMERLOCK DDT~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 COLE Happiness Is Edmonton In Your Rearview Mirror! COACH What kind of a name for a finishing move is that!? COLE It isn’t any stranger than half of the stuff Krista or Alix have! COACH Good point. Maggie Nerdly covers Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, hooking her right leg. Earl Hebner counts. The crowd counts along. Stephen Joseph Popick and Tha Puerto Rican are still fighting it out on the outside. COACH This can’t be happening! 1... 2... COACH NO! THIS CAN’T HAPPEN! 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (6:22) “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” “Monster” by Meg & Dia starts playing. Stephen Joseph Popick slides into the ring so Maggie Nerdly quickly slides out and runs up the entrance ramp, a huge smile on her face! COLE Maggie pinned the Women’s Champion! Maggie pinned Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick! COACH AWWW! DAMNIT! BUFFER Here are your winners…the team of MAGGIE NERDLY and THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Maggie Nerdly throws up the famous Nerdly RAWK~! hand signal on the entrance ramp. She slaps hands with the fans with a smile on her beautiful face. Meanwhile, Stephen Joseph is throwing a temper tantrum inside of the ring as his lovely wife continues to lie on the mat spread eagle following The Puerto Rico Elbow. COLE Tha Puerto Rican and Maggie Nerdly with a HUGE win tonight on the Road To AngleMania VII! For teaming up for the first time ever, they didn’t do so bad, huh, Coach? COACH Oh shut up! What an embarassment! Lindsay being pinned by an interviewer? AN INTERVIEWER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! A trained monkey can become an interviewer in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! And don’t think I’m exaggerating. We used to have a drunken fish on the active roster, a trained monkey wouldn’t be so bad compared to THAT! Stephen Joseph Popick continues throwing a temper tantrum inside of the ring. He only momentarily glances at his knocked out wife before going back to throwing his temper tantrum. Meanwhile, outside of the ring, Tha Puerto Rican has grabbed a steel chair and is walking with it in his left hand. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has a win over BOTH Popicks tonight on HeldDOWN~! Stephen Joseph has a loss in the win/loss column thanks to Tha Puerto Rican and Maggie Nerdly! COACH It will be a different story at AngleMania VII when it is just the two of them! It will be a different story no doubt about it! Stephen Joseph has Tha Puerto Rican right where he wants him, and he will go in for the KILL at AngleMania VII! AND YOU CAN BANK ON THAT! Tha Puerto Rican gets into the ring with the steel chair in his hands. He stands behind Stephen Joseph, who is asking Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick if she’s all right. Lindsay is knocked out and thus she cannot hear her husband asking her if she is all right. The male Popick stands over his wife asking her again and again if she’s all right as PRL prepares to hit Popick with the steel chair. The crowd buzzes in anticipation. COLE Uh, Stephen… COACH LOOK OUT POPICK! Tha Puerto Rican raises the steel chair over his head. He has an evil smile on his face. THA PUERTO RICAN HEY FOUR EYES! Stephen Joseph Popick turns around. *WHACK!* AND GETS HIT OVER THE HEAD WITH THE STEEL CHAIR~!!!!!!!!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH OH MY GOD~! COLE Stephen Joseph is DOWN! BOTH Popicks are down! THA PUERTO RICAN THAT WAS FOR HEAT! COLE And PRL saying that chairshot was for Colombian Heat, who was SCREWED out of the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title last Thursday night on the Leap Year Spectacular! COACH He couldn’t win it, and neither will you, PRL! So just accept it now, rather than later, P.R.! “Monster” by Meg & Dia dies down. Stephen Joseph Popick lies flat on the mat spread eagle, a knot on his forehead. Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick is still knocked out on the mat. Tha Puerto Rican taunts both Popicks with the steel chair in his right hand. Maggie Nerdly laughs at the Popicks misery on the entrance stage. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is standing tall over both Popicks, over his former fiancée and over his former manager, friend, and “Career Consultant”! COACH It will be a different story at AngleMania VII! It will be! PRL will CHOKE at AngleMania VII! He will CHOKE AGAIN! COLE OR he will win the World Heavyweight Title for the first time in his career at AngleMania VII! COACH HA! Like THAT will ever happen! “Know Your Role 2000” starts playing over the P.A. system. Tha Puerto Rican continues taunting Stephen Joseph and Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick and then drops the steel chair onto the mat. Puerto Rican then heads on over to the nearest turnbuckle corner and climbs the second turnbuckle to raise his hands in the air in victory. The crowd cheers loudly. Tha Puerto Rican then gets off of the second turnbuckle, and then heads on over to another second turnbuckle, stepping over Stephen Joseph and Lindsay along the way. PR hits the second turnbuckle and then raises his right fist into the air and “smells the electricity” ala The Rock. The crowd cheers some more. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is ready for AngleMania VII! He is ready to become World Heavyweight Champion! Will Tha Puerto Rican achieve his dream and become One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion for the first time in his 10 year career in 24 days or will he choke in front of over 100,000 fans in the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum at the biggest AngleMania of all-time? COACH I’m leaning towards the latter, personally speaking. COLE Do you have ANY confidence in Tha Puerto Rican at AngleMania VII? COACH Nope. He’s doomed. DOOMED I TELLS YA! Tha Puerto Rican gets off of the second turnbuckle and taunts Stephen Joseph Popick and Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick some more. He gives Stephen Joseph Popick the “UP YOURS!” hand gesture, and then gives Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick a D-Generation X “SUCK IT!” CROTCH CHOP~!. The crowd cheers at that. Maggie Nerdly laughs at this from the entrance stage. COLE Tha Puerto Rican stands tall over Stephen Joseph Popick tonight, but will it be the same story at AngleMania VII in four weeks time? Fans, we are out of time, but we still got 3 more HeldDOWN~!s to go before OAOAST AngleMania VII on March 30th! For Jonathan “Da Coach” Coachman, I’m Michael Cole saying so long from the Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio, and we will see you next week as the Road To AngleMania VII continues! Tha Puerto Rican taunts Stephen Joseph Popick and Mrs. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, who are both lying on the mat, spread eagle, sweating and breathing hard. Maggie Nerdly is applauding Tha Puerto Rican on the entrance stage. Tha Puerto Rican continues taunting the Popicks as “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing over the P.A. system and the crowd cheers. The credits roll and we fade out on a shot of Tha Puerto Rican running his mouth on the Popicks, who are both still lying flat on their backs on the mat not moving a single muscle whatsoever. FADE OUT

THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD The fabulous sound of Ultimate Victory guides us through the flashy opening credits that are given an Anglemania theme with various highlights from shows past. Once that's finished we're taken to the logo. We're taken into an arena which is also madeover with an Anglemania theme, giant Anglemania posters hang over the different sections of the arena, next to them are smaller posters which are portraits of the OAOAST superstars. All 100 of em. Stationed in front of the ring, wearing the official Anglemania football jersey is our announce team Double C! COLE Ladies and gentlemen, it is OAOAST HeldDOWN and it is in Columbus, Ohio, and we are only weeks away from being in Los Angeles for OAOAST Anglemania! COACH Say word! COLE Leap Year Spectacular was an amazing show, it opened with Moneymaker revealing to the world that Jade is Krista's daughter, and it finished with Anderson Cup champions Team Heyross, and in between all that we had new six man champions and tag team champions crowned! And the fallout heading into Anglemania tonight promises to be enormous. In our mainevent, Maggie Nerdly will team with world title contender PRL against championship couple Lindsay Gonzales-Popick and Stephen Joseph Popick. Big match for all involved parties, especially PRL and Maggie! You make me so hot Make me wanna drop You're so ridiculous I can barely stop I can hardly breathe You make me wanna scream You're so fabulous You're so good to me, baby, baby You're so good to me, baby, baby (i solemnly promise that will be the last change to krista's song!) The cheers for Krista Isadora Duncan are louder then a sonic boom; every member of the audience not confined to a wheelchair or overdosed on heroin leaps to their feet to welcome the Angle Award winning lady. Yellow, red, and white lights flicker around the entrance way providing a frantic, frenzied frame to the fans beloved jewel. Krista's actual arrival onto the scene spurs the audience to raise their decibel levels to the point where they nearly wash away her entrance music. She wears a long sleeve brown top with revealed shoulders, brass studs on the left chest, and a heavily stitched crossbones skull on the majority of the right side designed to look like an inverted photo. Her jeans take on a similar macabre pattern featuring an embroidery of dead roses running down the right leg. COLE Krista looking good, but maybe not feeling good in her return back to the OAOAST shores. COACH Why wouldn't she be feeling good? She got a huge win in the SWF over some jobber! Break out the champagne everybody, Krista has come back to us! COLE I think we both know why she'd be in a bad mood. Something to do with Leap Year Spectacular. And we also learned there that she and Alix will meet in their hometown of Los Angeles at Anglemania. First time ever! Should be huge! Krista leaps over the ring ropes, and into the squared circle where a ringside attendant has a microphone waiting for Miss California. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” KRISTA Those of you who know me well, and judging by the fact that I hand out restraining orders more often then Denise Richards' kids hand out playground notes that read “SWEET JESUS, SAVE US FROM THIS MONSTER!”, that's a lot of you, know that the whole in ring promo deal isn't excatly my bag, baby. But apparently outdated Austin Powers impressions are! Okay, so, I'm not too hot on getting on a microphone and rambling about random nonsense that nobody gives a crap about. I'm Krista Isadora Duncan, not Keith Olberman. Plus, I figure that's what I'm paying my therapist three hundred dollars an hour for. Although, her answer to everyone of my problems seems to be, “Oooh, yeah, right there Yes! Yes! God yes!”. Perhaps its time to stop having sex with my therapist. Curiously, the girls on the phone sex lines are whizzes at handling my issues of codependency. But, as always, I digress. I figure if you wanted to listen to the prattlings of a jaded, possibly insane drunk, you can always rouse a homeless man from his Maytag box. And while you're near a street corner, do be sure to ask Misses Moneymaker if she's still doing that friends hump free program. That was a real winner over the Kwanza season! COLE Grandpa Jim sure loved it! KRISTA Again, digression, thy name is Krista Isadora Duncan. The point is, the OAOAST didn't drag three thousand of you out the finest crackhouses in the greater Columbus area with promises of a coupon for a free whopper if you'd sit in this sparsely populated arena for three hours to listen to something nobody cares about. Amirite, my partners in crack pipes? But this isn't The Rockers title win I've got to speak on! This is something people care about! People besides that fine fellow in the front row sporting the “BIG JOHNSON” Confederate flag t-shirt and Hooters truck cap that proudly keeps date rape alive as he cradles his drugged out seventeen year old girlfriend in his arms. This proud member of the audience mugs for the camera, as George W. Bush sits in the white house wondering why has america failed its children. KRISTA The Columbus public school system at work! Like I said, this thing I have to talk about is something people care about. Why? Because its a human life. Its a human life that Theodore Moneymaker in all his sick perverse scheming though he could crush underfoot. MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS! KRISTA Yes, well, like father like son, I'm sure. But our erstwhile dean of fellatio, a slight step above the dean of UCLA according to my Harvard educated dad, honestly believed in his heart of hearts that he was going to destroy my life. His strategy was so blissfully simple it only had one basic premise, tell the world that Jade is my daughter. Theodore, I ask, because I ask, cause i'm not sure do anybody make real shit anymore? Quotes from the Hip-Hop wing of the museum of closted celebs aside, I further ask, if the whole “Krista's diet pills giving Twainesse females ovarian cancer and in some cases testicles” didn't destroy me, because if they ain't white who gives a crap what they get as long as they make t-shirts at two cents per hour, then what makes you think that you could? No, Theo, you didn't destroy me. What you did, besides trounce all over an innocent girl's sense of self, was force to me do a lil self examination. Normally, I save that sort of thing for after I had a glass of Merlot, the girthquake super dong is calling my name, and there's an episode of Xena on. She can warrior my..uh...she's hot, she has an accent, and she has big breasts, what more do you need to know? COLE I prefer Kevin Sorbo of Hercules fame. KRISTA I like to think I'm a pretty smart girl. The various child molesters, petty thieves, and registered sex offenders on the OAOAST roster as part of their work release think I'm smart. You the denizens of Ohio think I'm smart. Although, I suspect your confusing smart with “Holy crap, she's got huge tits!” I also definitely, definitely, don't think I'm naieve. Pour example en Anglais, I knew Doogie Houser was gay the second I tried to talk to him about golf at the Emmys a couple years back, and he started rambling about Cate Blanchets wardrobe during the golf scene of Aviator. But, maybe I'm not nearly as smart as I think I am. Because what I did when I was a teenager, and what caused this whole miserable mess years later, was terrible. Terrible, and stupid. I guess I wanted to rebel. All teenagers do, and if you're in the Nerdly family, you can gather enough of you to recreate the storming of the Bastille. Basically, I wanted to fight back, do something that established the fact that I had my own identity, that I wasn't a toy for my mother, Genevieve. Love ya mom, don't write me out the will! I didn't want to be her baby girl anymore, doing what's best for her. I wasn't going to be her puppet, moving when she pulled the strings, speaking when she fed me the words. And Dario was my teenage rebellion. Some of the younger members of the audience look on confused, so Krista is forced to explain things. KRISTA See, we didn't have myspace back in the time of the revolutionary war so I couldn't just create an easily hackable private page with a bunch of nudes and softcore lez pics. God damn it, you young lesbians have no idea how good you have it. So, my teenage rebellion naturally caught me. Grabbed me by the ankles, dragged me to the ground, leaped on top of me, and rode me until I was gasping air. Just like Rosie O'Donell! Yeah, I got pregnant. There I was a teenager, a baby in the world's eyes, and there was this life growing inside me. Wow. I've always tried to do things my way, and make my choices, but with that, its like I had no way, and the choices, what were they? I was paralyzed by fear and confusion for so long. One day I'm worrying about kicking Kimberly Goldstien's ass for booking Fleetwood Mac for her batmitzvah when she knew I was going to do it, the next day, I'm worrying about how many years I'll have to disown my kid if I ever catch her voting republican. Or worse yet libertarian. Good lord, you might as well vote for Mister Ed and Wilbur! Could I have turned to Dario? He was only eighteen or nineteen. 100% true example Maggie Nerdly is eighteen. I just got done reading her the quintessiental American novella, Everybody Poops. But, Dario was young, way too young. And he died too young. COLE We just found out last week about the existence of an older Rodez brother. KRISTA A motorcycle accident, on that infamous Dead Man's Curve in Bel Air, took his life. Right on the night I went into labor with Jade. It was a surreal, mystifying moment. I'll never forget the sounds that night, of her endless crying, those painful screams from my throat, the doctor and nurses voices just cascading into an indecipherable buzz. And then it all went mute. With Jade in my arms, nothing really mattered. Suddenly the world seemed like such a perfect place, like it moved with this silent grace. I never knew I could feel like that, I never felt like that again until Maya was born. Jade gave me purpose, I could hear my heart sing telling me to give her everything. But, I couldn't give her anything, because I couldn't keep her. Not with the parents I had. I mean, my dad was just glad I didn't fuck up Yom Kippur like his brother did when he brought home a Palestinian drag queen he met at the Scientology mixer. But, my mom? Yeah, not having the “On this very special edition of as the Hebrew Pains” vibe going on. And her Jewish guilt at the time was record setting! I'm tellin ya she could've had Hitler serving the manishevitz to Ariel Sharon. I wasn't in much of a position to argue as you can imagine, I had no where to go. The prospects of a burnout tenement house in South Central and the Maytag box I beat down a hobo for, I think she used to be on Different Strokes, are not the dream commissions, real estate agents hound I assure you. So, I had to let my baby go. Krista pauses for a moment to collect her thoughts. KRISTA And its not even giving up a piece you, its giving up you. I couldn't let her into the home of strangers, though, where my every day could he tormented with thoughts about her health. She had to be in the care of someone who would endanger all of themselves to protect her. Dario never spoke highly of much, especially Grand Rapids, its a hard place, frozen solid, low energy, and not much intelligence. That's a lethal combination that could wear on anyone, except his parents. They'd lost a son so tragically and quickly, I don't even know how they managed to keep living. So, I did the only thing that possibly made sense at the time, I told my parents the only place for Jade was Grand Rapids. And they took her, because the world may have stolen their son, but I gave them back his daughter. KRISTA And now Theodore Moneymaker, a man who's chronic case of inflamed crotch rot is such a disaster that he gets his prescription from FEMA, has taken a wrecking ball to my carefully crafted lie. So now Jade's life will be crumbling to the ground for years and years and years. Jade is such a sweet, wonderful, kind hearted soul, much like her mother, and now her life is hatred, and doubt. Everywhere. And every step she takes, she is probably assailed by confusion. And, Maya, her little sister, my little girl, she could barely speak when she heard the news. She's a genius, but even she can't grip the knowledge that her pen pal is her big sister. And that's my fault, and I accept that burden, and I will make things right. Because, in my arms Maya can find relief. And Jade, you can to. All you have to do is forgive me. It won't be easy, it doesn't count if its easy. But, that's forgiveness for you. And maybe that's where peace and love finally meet. Isn't that what the Kaddish asks for. Well, its in Hebrew it could be anything, it could be telling us that Sadam hid his WMD's inside Mrs Moneymaker's herpes scabs. Ah, and Landon Maddix, how might I forget you, kind sir, good pilgrim, gentle spirit. It was your bit of masterminding to book me on an SWF show that allowed dear Theodore to make his announcement without fear of having his testicles removed and used for skeetball down at the bar. “LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS!” KRISTA Well done, old boy! Well done. And you know what, buddy? You know those lovely blue eyes you were using to stare down my shirt at the SWF show? Yeah, well, I'm gonna do my boobs a favor, and the next time I see you I'm gonna have you looking like Johnny Depp towards the end of Once Upon A Time In Mexico. Comprende, mamacita? “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” COLE Its gonna be hard for Landon Maddix to run a company when he has no eyes! KRISTA And Moneymaker...well, I've always wanted a wall mounted human head. It'd be the perfect center piece to compliment the balls of the entire tag team division. You oughta know by now that I'm not the kind of girl you come for, I'm the kind of woman you run from, because the next time our paths cross I will show you more blind rage then Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder in a steel cage. If Money talks, and bullshit walks, it better wise up and tell you to walk your bullshit the hell outta here. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” I was lost And I'm still lost But I feel So much better Cause now I know It's not so far To were I go The hardest part is inside me I need to Just be To just be To just be To just be "YEAAAA" boooooooo COLE That's not Jade, Moneymaker or Landon, that's Alix the covergirl for the April issue of Rolling Stone! And back to their feet the sold out audience (don't listen to Krista's lies!!!!) comes with a mammoth reaction. Unlike Krista's reception this one is not decidedly positive, as there is an outcropping of boos sprouting from the landscape of boisterous cheers. As blue spotlights bath the elaborate entrance set in a magnificent fantasy like glow, a sunglasses shielded Alix Maria Speiza appears from the entrance doors. Her fantastic body is shown off by a flowing white gown with ruffled shoulders, held open to reveal matching teeny tiny white denim shorts, held up a by diamond encrusted skull patterned belt. The Rolling Stone covergirl and pop diva strikes a defiant pose, sliding her left leg out to the side, and tossing her head back while the lights play beautifully on her tan skin. COLE Krista, certainly couldn't have expected this! Judging by the reaction Krista gives Alix's procession down the ramp, that much is obvious. Alix enters the ring with slow, stunning grace, letting the audience feast on her smooth legs. As the lights come back up, Alix takes a microphone. But, Alix is unable to speak due to the still massive noise pouring from every inch of the arena. “KRISTA!” “ALIX!” “KRISTA!” “ALIX!” Realizing that this war could go on all night, Alix decides to speak on her own. ALIX Its sooooooo sooooooo blue berry sweet to hear a parent say such totally awesome things about her kid. I'm so jealous right now, swear to god. My dad has never said anything nice to me! Last Christmas I visited my daddy in San Quentin and he he turned away from his gangbang on one of the Aryan Nation only to say my highlights made me look like John Leguizomo in Too Wong Foo.. KRISTA Don't forget how when you were five years old, he shaved your head, super glued hair onto your chest, Frosted your flakes with testosterone and started calling you Mitch. ALIX Oh yeah! Hey, how come when I told your therapist she was all like “make sure you bring whipped cream, a tripod mounted camera, and mister good vibrations to the next session.” But then 1-900-senior-sluts got me over that crazy hump and tore through my lingering issues of separation from my mother? Gah, you're yanking me off the point! KRISTA Honey, I didn't know you were smart enough to even have one! I guess poor Maggie lost her her “Everybody Poops” reading buddy. Coach, you're down with some pre-k fecalphillia ain't you? ALIX Anger is the numero uno enemy of the hair follicle and I will not lose my hair for you! You never, ever, ever, take me seriously! KRISTA Oh, honey, how can I when you dipped Oscar the crouch in a bowl of New Englander clam chowder and are now wearing him on your shoulders. ALIX And I thought shooting those pornos for Tommy Lee was a super tough gig. You're, like, really impossible to talk to! Just like always! KRISTA Honey, I know, exactly your lookin for, say no more, my pretty angel. Time to pull out the big guns (Krista grabs her boobs) BANG BANG! Huh? Huh? Trying to ignore her ex's flaunting of her body Alix drops to her knees and gazes toward the sky. ALIX Santa its me Ally, I'm sorry about the time in second grade where i told Ellen Watson you didn't exist, I only did that because I wanted to hug her and have an excuse to grab her sweet, sweet, tush. Now I really need your help, dude. If you're feeling like stupid generous I would like some hair extensions, a zebra print thong, and the ability to see through Jodie Foster's walls while she's wearing previously mentioned zebra print thong. P.S. I'd also like an apology from Krista for telling everyone but Al Jazerra that I'm drugged up out of control! Krista cuts any further pleading off with a raising of her hand. KRISTA Alix, don't you think you owe me an apology? I told you that Jade was my daughter in the deepest of trust, and that bond was wrecked by you. Jade was your friend, Alix, and you befriended her because you loved me and I asked you to. But because of you at Leap Year Spectacular she was standing around mouth gaping open like a fish, while almighty Moneymaker parted the sea of death to cross over to Jordan. And there he is on dry land laughing his stupid laugh while Jade drowns in the hell you helped created. And what do you gain out of it? Tell me? Nothing but a lifetime of guilt and anguish and a peck on the cheek from Moneymaker's ass kissing Barbie doll. Does that satisfy you? Are you pleased with yourself? Because if you are, then maybe you owe yourself an apology for sinking so very low. ALIX Folks, we're talking with the world's most annoying ex-teenage whore, we'll be back with more whorerific annoyances after this word from our sponsor! "The Planned Parenthood Abortion Clinic-Just because Krista was too stupid to get one doesn't mean you should be to". And we're back on Live With Alix Maria Spezia with the world's most annoying ex-teenage whore. And just when ya thought Drew Barrymore had the corner on the ex-teenage whore market, Krista sets the world on fire with her whorefific whoreiness! Krista, please share your secrets of whoredom with the world, and tell em why every question someone asks me has the words coke, crack, or weed in it. And just so ya know I don't work at Coca-Cola, a brick laying company or for a gardener! KRISTA Alix, I'm lazy. You should know this by now, sweetie. Unless involved is money, booze, more money, more booze, and perhaps a date with Lucy Lawless on a deserted island where clothes are absent but baby oil is plentiful, I don't like to work. And telling those flesh eating viruses in the media that you have a problem involves too much work and brings me no money. That's the most painful, boring, convoluted scheme since you got my tonsils out and sold them to Japanese tourist as aphrodisiacs. The sad truth is that your big idea that I'm telling these supposed lies about you, that's just a screwed up ploy by Moneymaker and the bearded lady to keep you under their control. Its another sinister device for them to maintain the staus quo. There's honestly only two places to turn for you, me or them. So, paranoid that they'll lose their goose that lays the golden egg, their only entry into the entertainment industry, they feed you an endless diet of lies. And you're happily licking up every last morsel of bullshit, because you're just pleased to feast on the dessert of having your own CD. Alix frowns at Krista's theory. KRISTA Alix, I know, you're happy about your career potential going from left bottom square on the relaunch of Hollywood Squares, to center square understudy of Mama from Mama's Family, but, sweetie pie, use that brain cell of yours, and focus. Things aren't always as great as they seem. Remember when you wanted to rent Speed from Blockbuster? It was not at all what was advertised, right? You think you're going to see a feel good movie about amphetamines and suddenly you're one on a bus? This is like that, only your a markedly better actor then Keanu, and thanks to a generous donation to the plastic surgeons of Beverly Hills my breasts will never be mistaken for long haired datsun's like Sandra Bullock's. What, you sho- ALIX Look, I know, you don't think I'm all that intelligent and stuff, and slow wise I'm somewhere between Sean Penn in i am sam and Sean Penn at home with his family on a Monday, but, like, I would kinda know if I'm being tricked by my own girlfriend wouldn't I? Just admit you did it, okay. Admit you're a sucky person, alright? Tell me you wanted to hurt me like I hurt you, and this how you're doing it! KRISTA Alix, listen to me. I may not have mentioned anything about your alleged, don't wanna get sued for slander, but I still care about you, and I'm concerned for you. Everyone is. Most of them are concerned because its creepy to masturbate to a dead woman, but I'm legitimate worried, Alix. What you're doing to yourself is scaring me. You're straddling the line of reckless entertainment and reckless endangerment, and I don't think you can stop yourself from crossing it. I know you can't, and you have no one to stop you from it. ALIX Gah, its so annoying! It’s just hard when you have everyone in LA that you know, coming up to you, being like ‘Be careful, Alix’. I mean you know. You know what I’m talking about. And, then, there's like, you, like you're the dad on 7th Heaven or something. It’s like are you kidding me? Who do you think you are to do that crap at all? Oh my god, you're so much of a drunk, that the AB in your blood type stands for Anheuser Busch. Your blood alcohol level is so freaking high, that when they wanna do a blood transfusion they just drag you to phi betta kappa and throw you on a keg! Ugh, you know what, you know what? Seriously, I don’t care what you say. I don't want your care, I don't want your concern. I just don't want anything from you, ya know? I just want you out of my life for once! Please. Like, let me sleep at night. I have a CD coming out, I have a girlfriend, I have a condo, and like, I'm still stuck on you. Let me be at peace, let me live my life my own way just once! KRISTA You don't think about the consequences of anything! That's your problem! Nothing ever matters besides the pleasures and joys of stardom. You've never thought about the consequences, because whenever you've fallen from anything, there's always me there to catch you and set you back on your feet. I'm not there, anymore. Mackenzie and Moneymaker are and do you think they'll be there to catch you? Honestly, will they? No. You'll go splat, and you'll die. Or worse you'll just be a broken shell of the beautiful woman you once were. And will your girlfriend and your financial advisor care? I don't think so. They'll be too busy counting their cash to even turn back and look at the condition they left you in. And there won't be any Krista to scrape you off the ground when everyone else abandons you. ALIX Whatever, Krista. Yeah you're all cool and crap when we're, like, placed in front of thousands of dudes and hundreds of TV cameras. Yeah, then you're all like, “Alix you're a very sweet girl, you have have a big heart, and I love you and I don't you hurt.” And then, you know, when all that crap is over, when its over, you go and do the shit that you do. So, like, you can insult me from here until the end of time, I don't care, but quit trying to act like you actually give a crap about me. Ya know, stop it. That's what hurts the most, maybe. KRISTA I do so care about you! At least I gave a damn about you, unlike anyone else! I have had plenty of opportunities to trash, viciously violently, disgustingly trash you and your girlfriend and bring down your perfect made for BusinessWeek and LOGO documentary worlds. And once I found out you told Mackenzie about Jade, I should have! You who I have to forgive, when I should take pleasure in your misery. You who I should hope dies a more miserable death then I did when I first heard Moneymaker knew. You who should be dying in shit, because of what you did, yes I should have told the press all about you and your lifestyle. But because I care about you, and I honestly want you to find happiness no matter how much pain I'm forced to suffer daily, I keep my mouth shut. I don't tell anyone about the things you do, the life you lead. The ugly truth behind America's Sweetheart. And believe me here are many people waiting for those nuggets of truth to set a feeding frenzy free. You're the one who doesn't care, Alix! You..you self monstrous, evil little girl. Nothing bothers you, nothing upsets you, because you don't care. About anyone or even yourself. ALIX You're wrong, I care about beating you in LA soooooo much, while all our friends, and all our families watch on, because maybe, I dunno, if I do that, I can get rid of you, finally. You know you made a mistake and you know you've been lying to me and you should be so sorry and you're not. And you're making things like way, way, way worse. And you know that. I’ve been burned by so many things, especially lately. And I really am starting to learn who my true friends always were and I have every reason not to trust a thing you say. You know it’s true. And, after Anglemania, March 30th, I just want you gone. Forever. As that comment receives a shocked reaction from Krista and audience alike, Alix departs the ring, never once setting her eyes on Krista. Her trance anthem returns to the forefront of the arena, as the audience once again trades cheers and boos for the record holding four time tag team champions. “KRISTA!” “ALIX!” “KRISTA!” “ALIX!” COLE Well, folks, the city of angels is going to be on fire come March 30th! Two of their very own are going to go out in the Memorial Coliseum, and I can't wait. COACH You know what I can't wait for? The House of Worship, tonight on HeldDOWN, featuring keeper of the peace, Abdullah Abir Nerdly with his special guests new tag team champions The Heavenly Rockers! Team Heyross be sure ya watch and see how a real team conducts themselves with ya vanilla whitebread ass. COLE We'll see that later on along with a match that didn't take place on Leap Year Spectacular, Widow against Miss Jobbs. Should be a very exciting bout! Backstage, The Meterosexual Monster Bohemoth is in his locker room getting prepared for action later on. His preparations are interrupted however, by the entrance into his locker room by Zack Malibu. As Zack walks over to where he's sat Bo pulls his elbow pad into position, barely paying any attention to Zack, which doesn't sit well with the already annoyed Franchise. MALIBU So? BOHEMOTH ...so, what? MALIBU Well I just figured you'd have some sort of explanation for me. You've had two weeks to think up your excuse, so I'm just dying to hear what you came up with. BOHEMOTH Listen Zack, you had a lot to say for yourself before you went out there for that Survivor Series Match and in the end, it bit you in the ass. Because I listened to every word you said. See, you were right Zack. I DO have tunnel vision. And the light at the end of that tunnel is the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! Just like you saw your opportunity by teaming with PR to get at Popick, I saw my opportunity that night as well. Difference between you and me is I seized my opportunity. I realised pretty quick after your little speech that you were right in saying you'd be that much closer to the World Title by pinning Popick. But I guess that didn't happen, did it? No, no, instead, BOOM! One Spinebuster and who's the Champ gonna be chasing now, Zack? The guy who ALMOST beat him, or the guy who planted his ass in the middle of the ring with that Spinebuster and left him laying, on national television? Zack smirks a little. MALIBU Very clever, very... heh... what can I say? Turns out there are some brains behind all that brawn. BOHEMOTH And don't you forget it either. As Bo stands Zack tenses up, ready for a fight if it's coming. Bohemoth just nonchalantly grabs his roll of wrist-tape from the shelf above his head though. BOHEMOTH You know, it's funny. Everybody around here knows you deal with things that much better when you've got famed Malibu fire stoked up inside of you. When you're fighting for some cause or another. You'd even rather deal with someone like PRL who you know and dislike than you would with me. Why is that Zack? That whole time when you were proudly telling me your masterplan to keep the jump on me with Popick and the World Title, I could tell you were worried. You were worried that I'd come running out there, muscle my way in, muscle you up, muscle you down. Standard bigman stuff, right? See I'm smarter than all that Zack. You were so worried about me plunging that knife into your back. Lemme do you a favour. Man to man, I'm telling you right now, when I strike, it's gonna be head on... so, you've got nothing to worry about. Zack sneers at Bohemoth, as he returns the pat on the shoulder from two weeks ago. BOHEMOTH Now, I'm gonna let all that sink in while I go to the ring and remind everybody just what I can do, head on. Picking up his favoured orange-tinted sunglasses, Bohemoth walks off, leaving Zack behind with hands on hips. COLE No love lost between those two that's for sure. Its all competition heading into Anglemania! And we'll see Bohemoth later on against Rico of Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew! COACH Poor, poor, Rico. At least Bo won't kill his heat by tricking him into singing disco tunes. COLE Folks, there's still more to come on OAOAST HeldDOWN~! COMING UP NEXT FLAMBOYANT LUCHADORES AND THE JAPS THAT BASH THEM GENSHOU VS MARIACHI NEXT

And now, the OAOAST SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK, presented by Beauty Crush, the much anticipated Alix Maria Spezia debut CD! Courtesy: The Leap Year Spectacular HOUSE OF WORSHIP With your Inspirational Leader....Abdullah Abir Nerdly A mellow Arabic chant welcomes us back inside Nationwide Arena. Flanked by a bevy of beauties, two of whom solely responsible for keeping his robe from scratching the floor‘s surface, Abdullah Nerdly scrolls out to a specially designed set located away from the main stage, nodding and smiling to his followers. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Judging from their reaction, I don’t think our fans want to listen to Abdullah’s latest message. COACH Yeah, because they might actually learn something. If our citizens were half as tolerant as those in Abdullah’s part of the world, there wouldn’t be violence or discrimination. COLE Instead there’d be intimidation and repression. Now at the podium, Abdullah takes a moment to praise the heavens, one of the poses displayed on his Mosque’s stained glass windows. ABDULLAH Thank you my virgins. And hello again enemies of Abdullah. Welcome to a special prayer gathering at my House of Worship. Tonight’s sermon deals with the act of giving. It has long been said it is better to give than to receive. Well allow me to put that rumor to rest because it is far better to receive than it is to give! COACH Praise be! ABDULLAH Look no further than last week’s Leap Year Spectacular for example. My good friend Teddy Moneymaker’s Enterprise received a generous donation from yours truly in exchange for security protection for me and my men during the Sin City Street Fight. While it is true anything goes in a street fight, there are -- believe it or not -- some gentlemanly rules in the rough world of professional wrestling. The biggest of which is that you never intentionally try to hurt one of your opponents. COLE Is he kidding me? The Colonel and his men have purposely tried to end careers on numerous occasions and he’s complaining about the Lone Star Gunslingers’ physicality in a street fight? A match his men demanded, by the way. ABDULLAH Praise Allah for CPA. If not for him it’s unlikely I’d be introducing my guests at this time. Enemies of Allah, I present to you the greatest rock ‘n’ wrestling band of all-time and your One & Only World tag team champions… THE HEAVENLY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The gold back around their waists, both Heavenly Rockers also sport bandages/scratches on their faces, the result of their punishing Sin City Street Fight last week on the Leap Year Spectacular. It doesn’t stop the Synthmeister from playing a little air guitar on his tag title. Holly-Wood, meanwhile, is unable to keep her paws off husband Logan Mann, feeling him up with one hand and caressing his championship belt on the other. ABDULLAH Mr. and Mrs. Mann, Synth, welcome back to my House of Worship. Before we go any further, a few weeks ago there was to be a major announcement made by the Heavenly Rockers. Unfortunately that announcement had to be postponed due to a couple of trigger-happy Gunslingers who… praise Allah… have since been taken care of. Seeing as though we’re gathered this glorious evening to celebrate our new tag team champions, there wouldn’t be a better time to make that announcement than right now! Synth, if you’d please step forward. Synth obliges, lowering his head as well. ABDULLAH After months of studying you have finally accumulated the wealth of knowledge that has purified your mind, body and soul. Inside of you always beat the heart of a little boy. Tonight beats the heart of a man. Brother Synthmeister, I hereby christen you SYNTH ABDUL-JABBAR, master of the skyhook elbow drop! The Colonel adds to the pageantry by placing GOGGLES on Synth’s face. Visibly moved, the newly christen Synth Abdul-Jabbar and Colonel Abdullah embrace to a round of applause from Logan and Holly. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" SYNTH Colonel, thank you for this honor and for guiding this lost soul to happiness he never thought possible. No drug in the world can replicate the high Synth Abdul-Jabbar is on. My only regret is that our Muslim brother Barack Hussein Obama wasn’t as successful in his recent bout as the Heavenly Rockers were in theirs. COLE Since when did Synth and Abdullah become so interested in the 2008 U.S. presidential race? I thought Synth heart Huckabee? COACH Maybe he decided to jump on the bandwagon like everyone else. You honestly don’t believe their support is some kind of sinister plot? ABDULLAH The bigotry within the United States, where all men are supposedly created equal, is a disgrace. Let’s not worry about that however. His nomination is money in the bank. Right now allow me to reiterate my pleasure on having you back on the show, especially as the OAO World tag team champions for a third time. LOGAN That sounds so good I’m gonna say it again. 3-time tag team champions of the world, the One & Only tag team champions of the world for that matter, the Heavenly Rockers! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" LOGAN We’ve felt naked the last month or so without the gold, but we told each and every one of these people in the area and watching at home that we’d regain the tag titles. It wasn’t easy, nor was it pretty. Just look at our faces. Under these bandages are countless stitches. But hey, we took it as good as we gave it. SYNTH Yeah, boy. If ya’ll think we look bad, go find the Lone Star Gunslingers. They look even worse. And they lost too! LOGAN Jock and Baron are probably licking their wounds somewhere in Texas, maybe huddled on the couch enjoying Brokeback Mountain on HBO or whatever, and assuming their heads aren’t buried in each others crotches, they can at least hang ‘em on the fact they didn’t just lose to the best but the greatest rock ‘n‘ wrestling band of ALL time! SYNTH Ain’t nothing wrong coming in number two. HOLLY Logan can attest to that. LOGAN ABDULLAH Now then, as you gentlemen very well know, once you get done with one team you move on to the next. For you it’s the 2008 Anderson Cup winners Team Heyross at AngleMania VII. LOGAN Colonel, you’ve been around us long enough to know we only deal with facts. And the fact is we’ve won more tag titles and slept with a whole helluva lot more women than Charlie Moss and Quentin Benjamin have in their dreams. SYNTH Those fools can’t even beat us in their sleep either! COLE They seem to be forgetting Team Heyross eliminated them from the Anderson Cup. LOGAN So as far as we’re concerned, AngleMania’s just apart of our spring break plans. A trip to LA on the OAOAST’s dime. SYNTH ABDULLAH Praise be! The segment concludes with the Heavenly Rockers, Holly-Wood and Colonel Abdullah arm in arm singing “We Are the World” for reasons unknown. COMING UP NEXT ISN'T IT PAST MAGGIE'S BED TIME??? MAGGIE NERDLY & PRL VS MISS LINDSAY GONZALES AND POPICK NEXT

We're taken backstage to The Enterprise dressing room, which is empty besides CPA and Mister Moneymaker. And that's odd because the Enterprise is such a big stable it has two tag teams. But, for now its just Mister Moneymaker, clad in a smoking jacket, puffing on a pipe, reclining on a leather chair and reading a contract with great pleasure. Sitting on the adjacent sofa, thumbing through the April issue of Rolling Stone with Alix on the cover, is CPA. CPA What about tornado cybersexual, cybercentennial, cyberncumbered, whatever the hell these damn Mexicans be calling it, shit I don't know. You don't wanna lose focus on that boss. Moneymaker looks up from his contract with only passing interest. MONEYMAKER What about it? Am I supposed to focus on that underachieving idiot Leon Rodez? A poorly matched ghost of my past. I'd sooner fear my own shadow then him! He wins a face of the year, in a rigged vote obviously, and then proceeds to do nothing of worth this year besides losing his six man titles to infinitely superior opponents. He's just another faceless nobody aimlessly adrift on the OAOAST roster. And he's ready to sink when his vengeful niece Jade torpedoes his career. BWAHHHAHA Who can he pick to challenge the great Theodore Moneymaker? I ask you that. CPA Don't go countin Leon Rodez out like that, boss. Duke is too tough for that. He's had Ned and Simon's number plenty of times and he got you real good at Angleslam. MONEYMAKER Almost a year ago! Who can cross swords with the last king of man? Not this fool, who's own life I just destroyed merely as a pleasant and unintended side effect. Who does he know of worth? Of character? My guess is I'll be staring across the ring from an ex pornstar, Jumbo, The Love Doctors, and Los Diablos. And that's so sad I can't even bring myself to laugh. Don't ask me about that again. You might as well ask me what I plan on doing with a fly that lands on my shoulder. Or a bee that lands on the window of the limo. With that out the way, Moneymaker returns to reading over the contract. MONEYMAKER BWAHHHA what a contract this is, what a contract this is. I have to say, Christopher, contract law was never my thing back at Yale, but this contract I drew up for Alix Maria Spezia, I'm telling ya, toss the three hundred dollar text books out the window, all you need is this thirty page document that cost me about a dollar to copy at Kinkos. BWAHHHHAHA! Why am I so smart? That's what I wonder, I look around the locker room, and my heart sags into my stomach, it honestly does, because I'm the only one around this place who got the privilege of intelligence. The gene in all our great leaders, McCain, Nixon, Regan, both Bushes, and even my good pal Jeb. Could anyone in the OAOAST have thought to craft a contract that guarantees them twenty percent of all of Alix's earnings from hear until the great beyond. And for what? For being her “Financial Advisor”! Basically, twenty percent for being my genius self. 2008 is a great year for the company, wouldn't you agree. CPA Sure do, boss. MONEYMAKER These are inroads we're making here, Christopher. Inroads into Hollywood, my friend, and Alix Maria Spezia is our vehicle. We're the sound financial force behind her, the one that keeps her funds in perfect order. The financial institution supporting a best selling pop artist. It has a ring too it, my friend. A ring that sounds like Ca-ching! BWAHHAHAH! Soon other celebrities will take note, or she'll mention us to her friends, and connections right there, right there, are made! They're made, CPA, and we began laying the seeds in the soil for a media empire. I'm already the third largest investor in TSM, my knowledge of the television industry is unquestionable. With Alix I have access to the movie and film industry, and then finally a takeover. Theodore Moneymaker, media mogul. BWHAHHHA! Cackling with glee, Moneymaker actually begins kicking his feet against the arm of the sofa. fuck yo couch nigga CPA (wistfully) I could be as beautiful and famous as Barbra Walters... PAUSE MONEYMAKER What? CPA Uh, um, I could have sex with Barbra Walters. MONEYMAKER A dream worth pursuing, old friend! I'll tell you what's even better, Christopher, I have struck the crippling arrow directly into the heart of that witch Krista. Gaze outside a moment and you'll see droplets of red, streaks of crimson. That is the blood of Krista Isadora Duncan on her death match to a well earned grave. Don't let her comedy, and jokes lead you wrong as it has so many of those other fool minded boors in the OAOAST. Its a shield and a mask, and many have been fooled by it. I will not, because I am not many. I am god. And I wield the perfect weapon to deliver the killing blow. Alix Maria Spezia. Our darling little Alix, our precious cash cow, and our weapon of war. What a combination. Who better to finish off Krista then the woman she loves the most? And for Alix to do it in Los Angeles and claim that kingdom solely as her own? BWAHHHHA. A kingdom overlooked by a god such as myself? Majestic. What a fantastic day it will be for Theodore Moneymaker, the last king of man. March 30th The end of Krista Isaodra Duncan, as orchestrated by Theodore Moneymaker. BWAHHAHAHHAHA! As Moneymaker's creepy laughter continues to scare the rest of the group from entering their own dressing room, as we fade out A video of Abdullah Abir Nerdly's recent peace mission to Syria (or a soundstage designed to look like Syria) is shown, set to the sounds of Salif Kwafia's Tomorrow. COMING UP NEXT ALLAH'S GREATEST GIFT THE HOUSE OF WORSHIP NEXT

COLE Folks, just a reminder that the road to Anglemania isn't limited to the OAOAST programming. You can check out our superstars on networks such as PBS where Logan Mann of all people will be a guest of Tavis Smiley. COACH What do you mean all people? Logan is a well read and articulate brother, he makes Collin Powell sound like Mush Mouth from Fat Albert. COLE I meant of all people because Logan is a lying two-faced scumbag. But, folks, right now lets throw it over to Tony Schiavone who is standing with former tag team champion James Cone and his better half, Widow. Tony? Backstage, Tony Schiavone stands with James Cone and Black Widow. Cone is in jeans and a his “BURN BRIGHT” T-Shirt, and Widow is ready for the war that’s coming later in the night. Schiavone Tony Schiavone here with James “Lunar Phoenix” Cone and Sara “Black Widow” Anderson. Tonight, the Nationwide Arena is going to see a match that is always guaranteed to produce thrills: the steel cage. In it, Black Widow will square off with Miss Jobbs for the rights to set stipulations for the previously announced Anglemania war: Lunar Phoenix against Jester. Phoenix, you’ve been sidelined for weeks, recovering from injuries delivered by Jester. You contracted pneumonia and fought your way back. What kind of shape are you in tonight, and what kind of shape will you be in come the biggest show in the business? Phoenix Well I’m sure as hell not a hundred percent, Tony. But I’m well enough and I’m here, and it’s going to take a hell of a lot more than pneumonia and a severe concussion to keep me away any longer. Schiavone Jester, obviously, will be accompanying Jobbs to the ring tonight. Are you ready to deal with what that might entail? Phoenix Jester. Jester, Jester, Jester. Fuck Jester. This… attention, this fear, that’s exactly what he wants and you’re giving it to him. You’re feeding him. He likes the chaos, he doesn’t care about the business or the rules. I beat him once and he can’t stand it. He’s just a shadow, just a wannabe. Three or four years ago I fought him in the rafters, I fought him on the rooftops, and I put him down. This isn’t really worthy of my return match. This isn’t worthy of my time at Anglemania. This is a nuisance. He’s just a child, pitching a fit until someone listens. Well I’m listening, Jester. I’m listening and I’m coming. And this time, I’m going to make sure you never work again. This time, Widow isn’t some helpless sidekick you can string up at the top of an arena. This time she’s right beside me. This time I’m a little older, I’m a little wiser. This time I know just where to hit you with the Phoenix Kick to shatter your jaw. This time I know just how hard to wrench your arm back in a Crossface to break it. This time, Jester, I’m taking a page out of your book. You think I have to play by the rules, be the good guy, do the right thing – and you can do whatever because, hey, you’re the bad guy. Well you haven’t met the bad guy, Jester. But you will at Anglemania. You’d better hope to whatever God you like to make fun of that Jobbs wins tonight. And if she does, you’d better set the safest stipulations you can. Because if you give me even the slightest chance, I will break you in-fucking-two. Get ready, Jester. The jokes on you. Phoenix and Widow leave the area, Schiavone giving the camera the “holy shit” look. COMING UP NEXT STILL LEAPIN'! STILL SPECTACULAR! WIDOW VS JOBBS NEXT COMMERCIAL FADE UP: Widow and Jobbs are already in the ring as we come back from break, glaring at one another as the STEEL CAGE lowers around them. “Fully Alive” plays in the background as Phoenix and Jester circle the outside of the ring, nervously. Cole Welcome back, fans. Here we are, a pivotal battle in the war between Jester and James Cone. If Black Widow wins, she can set the terms for the Anglemania showdown between Lunar Phoenix and Jester. If Jobbs wins, she gets the rights. I can’t imagine how sadistic, how brutal a match set by Jester and Jobbs would be. Coach Were you even paying attention? Cone made it abundantly clear that he’s got something crazy in mind son. The Cage sets into place and the Ref calls for the bell – DING DING! The ladies waste no time, immediately locking up. Jobbs powers Widow back to the ropes, shoves her head up against the steel mesh of the cage wall and lands a VICIOUS KNIFE EDGE CHOP! Widow awkwardly holds her exposed collar-bone area and – SMACK! A second chop from Jobbs leaves a big red spot across Widow’s chest. Coach Hey! Hey! Protect those! Jobbs goes for a third, but Widow lands a kick to the gut. It buys her enough time for a WHIP across the ring. On the return, Jobbs SLIDES between Widow’s legs and pops up behind her – RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! Widow goes right on her head and bounces over, immediately wrapping her arms around the back of her neck. Cole Jobbs going for the high powered moves off the bat. You can win by pinfall. You can win by climbing out. You can win by getting through the cage door. Leaving your opponent prone is your best bet inside this thing. Jobbs pulls Widow up by the hair. Powers her to the corner, sets her up on the second turnbuckle. Cole Jobbs going for a suplex attempt- Widow hooks the leg and blocks it! Jobbs tries again, but Widow blocks again and swings – BIG RIGHT to Jobbs, who staggers back. Jobbs, undeterred, grabs two handfuls of hair and BAM, crazy headbutt! Widow, stunned, doesn’t stop it this time – SUPER SUPLEX FROM THE CORNER! Cole Look at the power of Miss Jobbs! If these two weren’t so intent on each other, we could have the start of a new Women’s Division here! Both women are sprawled for a moment. Widow’s bell is pretty rung, leaving Jobbs to look up with a huge grin at the cage wall. She makes for it and begins the climb. Outside, Phoenix is as close to Widow as he can get, shouting encouragements. Jester is coaxing Jobbs up the cage. Widow begins to stir as Phoenix shakes the cage wall nearest to her. Jobbs is about halfway up as Widow shakily gets to her feet. She looks around, sees what’s happening and gauges the situation. Widow runs to the corner closest to Jobbs, LEAPS, SPRINGS – MISSILE DROP KICK TO JOBBS FROM THE TURNBUCKLE! Cole Oh my god! Where the hell is Joey Styles when I need him? Coach Living a shadow of his former life, Cole. Jobbs is knocked loose, falling between the cage and the ropes. Widow caught the ropes on the way down and is getting untangled as the crowd takes up a “BLAAAAACK WI-DOW *clap, clap – clapclapclap*!” chant. Outside, Phoenix shakes the cage and yells, “Come on, end it!” Widow nods. She pulls Jobbs into the ring proper and pulls her up. Jobbs tries to land a couple of hits, but Widow drives an elbow into her neck once-twice-three times! Widow pushes Jobbs towards the corner and CRACK- a HUGE CHOP! Jobbs yelps as Widow lands ANOTHER, the SMACK~! Echoing out Coach No, I refuse a new women’s division if there’s just gonna be damages to the breastases. Widow hits a HARD RIGHT, and ANOTHER, ANOTHER, DRIVING Jobbs down in the corner. BAM, BAM, BAM! Widow breaks and steps back and we see that Jobbs’ nose is bleeding. Jobbs runs her tongue up, tasting it. She grins and tries to pull her self up, but Widow is there with a STOMP to the gut, and ANOTHER, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, grabbing the ropes and DRIVING THEM HOME. Jobbs is clearly hurt, not moving, just lying back against the bottom turnbuckle. But she’s grinning up at Widow. She reaches up and smears the blood from her nose around her mouth in a grin and blows a kiss at Widow. It only seems to piss Widow off. She hits another boot for good measure and reaches down for the hair. She pulls Jobbs up, and then lifts her to the top turnbuckle. Widow climbs to the second and stops a weak right from Jobbs with a VICIOUS right of her own. Outside, Phoenix applauds and points at Jester, who scowls from the other side of the ring area. Delicately, Widow bends Jobbs down, and a buzz begins to build in the crowd. Cole Widow going for some sort of high risk maneuver of her own here… Widow uses the cage to support herself as she TURNS AROUND and hooks Jobbs arms! Cole No! No, that’s crazy! Someone could get killed! Coach Looks like the Phoenixes have had enough, Mikey. Widow’s got it locked in. Jobbs realizes what’s coming and it’s a bit much even for her. She tries to struggle out, but Widow’s not letting it go anywhere. SHE LEAPS!! VERTEBREAKER FROM THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!! Cole CHELICERA! CHELICERA FROM THE TOP! SUPER CHELICERA! The impact is JARRING, as Jobbs flails away and over, rolling over her shoulders. She lies face down, unmoving. Widow rolls away, selling her back. Phoenix grins, pounding on the cage wall. Jester’s got handfuls of his own hair, unbelieving. Widow slowly pulls her self up with the ropes, arm wrung around, trying to support her back. She stumbles against the ropes, trying to right herself and makes for the cage door. Jester runs for the door and grabs it, intent on slamming it on Widow. She doesn’t see it as he PULLS IT BACK- BAAAAAAAAAM~! PHOENIX IS THERE. PHOENIX KICK~! Jester is DOWN!!! WIDOW FALLS THROUGH THE ROPES, OUT THE DOORWAY INTO PHOENIX’S ARMS! He holds on to her and they both immediately make for the ramp. Jester watches with disgust, torn between hatred for them and Jobbs. Jobbs wins as he slides into the ring to push the Ref away who was trying to bring Jobbs around. Phoenix and Widow make it to the top of the ramp, where a microphone is waiting, courtesy of Schiavone. Widow grabs it as Jester glares at them, shaking with rage. WIDOW You wanted it, you got it Jester. Chaos, pain, and brutality. A match centered on James. A match he helped create! Cole What- WIDOW THE CELL, with BARBED WIRE ROPES. A ladder in the middle! And above the cell door, Jester, the contractual papers that can TERMINATE either YOUR career or OUR careers! STAIRWAY… TO… OBLIVION TWO AT ANGLEMANIA! COLE OH MY GOD! COACH Joey styles wishes he was here, Cole! Fade out to commercial with a shot of Widow and Phoenix grinning at the top of the ramp, Phoenix mostly holding Widow up, with Jester glaring at them from the ring on the AngleTron… COMMERCIAL

OAOAST HeldDOWN Is Brought To You By Milan Spectacular-Mi piacerebbe visitare l'Italia un giorno di questi! Enchanted-On DVD March 18th. I reserved my copy, no homo. The Bank Job-Starts Tomorrow "PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!" ...WAAAAAHHHHH... *DUM DUM* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "Megalomaniac" cues up and out head the entire force of Cucaracha Internacional. Landon Maddix leads the way with Megan Skye on his arm, beaming from ear to ear as he glows in the success of his new 6-Man Tag Team Champions. James Blonde also beams away with Faqu stalking behind him and Nathaniel Black to the other side, the odd-man out being Todd Cortez who stands off to the side out of the way of his team-mates. COLE And here comes the other profiteers of Jade Rodez's misery, Cucaracha Internacional. The six make their way to the ring with Blonde taking a moment to show off his title belt to the camera, pointing out that yes, that is his name on it. So giddy is Blonde he tries to get Cortez in on the picture, only for The Urban Legend to scowl at him and brush right past. Meanwhile Landon hits the ring and grabs the mic, calling for his troops to gather around him. MADDIX Well well, Colombus Ohio. Is it your lucky night or what? Cucaracha Internacional, live and in person. There'll be plenty of opportunity for autographs and polaroids later on. Infact, we'll be outside all night, $10 a pop, $20 for thre... well, you'll figure it out. First of all though, let's talk last week. Let's get to congratulating the newly crowned OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions of the World, huh? "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Blonde laughs to himself and adjusts the title belt over his shoulder, slapping Faqu on the back as he stares off into the distance with the belt hanging loosely in his hand. MADDIX Much as I hate to sound cliché, sometimes you've got to tell it like it is. And I have to tell ya... I love it when a plan comes together! This was no mean feat getting these titles. I had to make a judgment call and hey, if I can bring Nathaniel Black in here... (Black steps forward, getting an arm around the shoulder)... this guy right here, you're looking at right now a true team player. I made a judgment call in bringing in Todd Cortez to a winning team. Like any good coach should aspire towards doing, it was the right call made at the right time. Like... that guy, who coached the Superbowl team? I don't know his name, or who won, the point is they scored some points because he picked the right touchdowner. Apparantly the only member of Cucaracha Internacional who knows anything about American Football, Cortez MADDIX And now thanks to me, finally the OAOAST has some Internacional credence! For too long Faqu and James Blonde have been the BUTT of jokes around this place. Not anymore! They've got gold now they're in Cucaracha Internacional. And Todd... well, it's been far too long since gold was around that waist. It's just like I promised. COLE Landon taking full credit for his partner's victory, despite being ???? miles away at the time. COACH He was the inspiration behind it. There in spirit. MADDIX With that said we move on. On to the road to AngleMania. And on to next week for the 'Torneo Cibernetico'. I got the call last week, while my boys were doing me so proud at the Leap Year Spectacular. There I was over in Cincinnati, watching another great SWF show in process, From The Fire 2008 coming soon to DVD. And AngleSault, he called me up, 1-800-SWF and he said "Hey, Landon, how do you feel about wrestling the Cibernetico in two weeks time?" Well, I thought Cibernetico was either retired or still wrestling in Mexico so needless to say I was a little confused. COACH Based on a true story. MADDIX But anyway, I just brushed it off and said sure, you find me a time portal that allows me to be in Lafayette to compete for the OAOAST and Philadelphia to run my SWF show on the same night and you can have whatever you want! Well, that time portal apparantly wasn't available. But what is available is the private jet to fly myself and Megan from Philly on the 13th, to Lafayette for Friday Night HeldDOWN~!, so you'd better believe Landon Maddix is gonna be there for Cibernetico baby! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" MADDIX Why are you idiots booing, you'll still be here in Columbus! Actually, I guess I just answered my own question. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" MADDIX Now, that brings me to Cibernetico III. Turns out, it's not a rookie who's part of some lucha Mr. Wrestling style dynasty. No, turns out it's a match. What can I say, we don't have many Ciberneticos in Espagna! But luckily, I knew I had somebody I could call on. First of all, I had somebody who was sure to know all about these 'Ciberneticos'. Mi hombre. Mi compradre. Mi hispánico. My BFF, Todd Cortez! Cortez rolls his eyes as Landon starts to applaud him. COLE BFF? COACH Yeah, Best Friend Forever. It's text speak, all the kids are doing it. COLE Oh brother. MADDIX And then, lo and behold, I stumbled upon two Cibernetico veterans. No less than the runner-up of Cibernetico II, Faqu... and the Cibernetico II ganador, the WINNER, James Blonde!! Stepping forward, Blonde raises his hands celebrating his victory, 18 months on. Landon and Megan applaud him, but they're the only ones. Faqu is Faqu, Cortez continues to look perpetually uninterested and Nathaniel Black suddenly begins to realise where this is all leading as regards to his Cibernetico participation. MADDIX So I've got my troops. Enterprise... I guess it doesn't really matter who you bring, since only one person can win a Cibernetico, so I'm told. So long as you hold up your end for at least some of the match and don't embarrass yourselves, we'll all get along fine. And then it'll be on to AngleMania. The biggest show of the year. And, hey, as I just said only one person can win the Cibernetico and I've already made it clear to James, to Todd and to Faqu, should they somehow win next week, then they're going to exercise their right to an AngleMania match indipendently. Whatever they want for March 30th, myself and Megan or the rest of Cucaracha Internacional will not stand in their way. So... YEOW! Landon suddenly trails off, as "Money Talks" by AC/DC suddenly begins to rock out through the arena. And much to his surprise out swaggers Theodore Moneymaker! Adjusting the lapels on his white smoking jacket, Moneymaker heads to the ring. Alone, curiously enough. COLE Well this is certainly interesting. "Tailored suits, show of your cars Fine hotels and big cigars Up for grabs, up for a price Where the red hot girls keep on dancing through the night" As Moneymaker steps into the ring, James Blonde quickly steps in to hold Faqu back and convince him not to go after the uninvited guest as he strides back to Maddix with a microphone. MONEYMAKER Landon Maddix... "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" MONEYMAKER ...no, that wasn't what I was going to say. Landon Maddix, first of all I'd like to take this moment to officially state how much I'm looking forward to next week. Cucaracha Internacional and The Enterprise together for the first time, two forces combined to wipe out Leon Rodez and his merry band of characters. I can't wait! And I'd also like to extend my congratulations to your new World 6-Man Tag Team Champions. MADDIX Thank you... uh, on behalf of them. MONEYMAKER Of course. And now all that is said, I'd also like to thank you for providing me with another enjoyable moment last week. I was especially glad to hear that Krista Isadora Duncan got such a GREAT reaction while performing for the SWF. Good for her. She needs some happiness in her life right about now. And as your 6-Man Tag Team Titles will attest, it was a case of win-win-win! So, with that in mind... Reaching into the pocket of his jacket, Moneymaker pulls out a BIG wad of cash. Landon's eyebrows peak at the money, only snapping to his senses when Teddy starts to try and count the bills out in his hands. MADDIX Woah woah, hang on a se... MONEYMAKER I can't thank you enough for how smoothly everything went. Like you said, I love it when a plan comes together! MADDIX Listen, I don't kno... (trails off looking at the money)... uh... look, I didn't book Krista for you, I... MONEYMAKER Oh I know, I know. Looking to an also confused Megan, Maddix suddenly fights temptation and quickly pushes the money back into Moneymaker's chest. MADDIX With all due respect, Mr. Moneymaker, I don't want Krista to think tha... I mean... look, I didn't have anything to do with what happened last week, right? MONEYMAKER Well... MADDIX Well? Well nothing, I didn't... MONEYMAKER MADDIX ...no... no, TELL THEM! With Landon pointing out into the now booing crowd, Moneymaker gathers up his money and puts it back in his pocket. MONEYMAKER You know, you're right. We'll conduct this piece of business later and somewhere a little more 'private'. See you next week. BWAHAHAHA! MADDIX What's so funny? Wait... Moneymaker turns and takes off again with the money safely back in pocket, leaving Landon bumbling around in the ring trying to explain to everybody that he doesn't have anything to do with... well, anything. His Cucaracha Internacional team-mates all sympathetic ears to his face but as he turns to explain to the next person you can see a little bit of scepticism in their eyes. MADDIX Krista, if... if you're watching, I really didn't... I mean, look, I want to work with you again in the future, I'd never... Realising he's not going to get out of this one any time soon, Landon quickly declares the interview over and gestures for his music to be hit. And as soon as "Megalomaniac" hits he leaves the ring, ushering his team-mates out with him. COLE Wow, I'm not quite sure what to think of that. Theodore Moneymaker, I guess wanting to 'reward' Landon Maddix for his part in Krista Isadora Duncan not being in St. Louis last week. But, Landon... I don't know what to think. He certainly wasn't in a rush to take credit for it, that's for sure. COACH Can you blame him? Let's face it, Krista's already out for blood, he doesn't want to get caught up in that firestorm. COLE Maybe it's me Coach, but I've got a sneaky suspiscion Theodore Moneymaker might have had Cibernetico in mind when he offered up that money, if you know what I mean. COACH I... don't. COLE Mind-games? With Landon, perhaps? COACH Oh... hey, could be. Cibernetico'd be an awful lot easier if Landon were on an IV drip by then. Cucaracha Internacional head back off through the curtains as we fade to... COMMERCIAL

When we return to the ring the 80's classic "Rio" by Duran Duran is in mid-stream, as a fired up Rico de Janeiro playfully strokes his moustache and taunts the crowd, climbing up on the turnbuckles and shouting down some of his detractors. COLE Welcome back to HeldDOWN~!, fans! As you can see we've got the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew in the ring, and Rico de Janeiro may soon wish he didn't take this little detour from tag team action, because his opponent is one angry Metrosexual Monster! "Liberate" by Disturbed replaces the new wavishness (don't ask me if it's really a word, just accept it!) of Duran Duran, and both members of the MGHC stare up the aisleway, as all eyes are on the arrival of Bohemoth! MICHAEL BUFFER Introducing, from Greenville, South Carolina...weighing in tonight at two hundred and eighty four pounds, he is known as the Metrosexual Monster...he is BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHEMOTHHHHHH! Briskly walking to the ring, Bo then hops up on the apron and steps through the ropes, cracking his neck as he stares down both Rico and Lucius. Lucius, seemingly intimidated, backpedals out of the ring, patting his partner on the shoulder and offering well wishes, because Bo isn't exactly known for playing nice. COLE You can see the fire in his eyes, Michael Cole. A fire that was lit by competition, and one that has led to frustration, resentment, and anger. We've been watching a friendship tear apart ever since the Triple Cage match back in November, and now that Zack Malibu vs. Bohemoth is set for Anglemania, both men are on the warpath, looking to take all their frustrations out before they even make it to their scheduled match! The bell sounds, and Rico quickly tries a lockup, only to get shoved down to the canvas with ease from the brutal Bohemoth! Rico gets up and dusts himself off, and gets up, going for another lockup. This time it works in his favor, as he's able to snare Bo in a headlock, but Bo shoves him to the ropes, then floors him with a clothesline! Rico reels, as Lucius pounds the canvas, trying to encourage his partner, as Bo picks him up and sends him towards the corner, where the turnbuckle pads nearly make an imprint on his back due to the severity of the collision! COACH The Metrosexual Monster ain't pullin' no punches tonight! COLE We saw earlier that Bo heeded Zack's advice to seize the moment, and that's what led to him causing Zack's elimination in that eight man contest two weeks ago. Those two are fighting tooth and nail just for a CHANCE to become OAOAST World Champion, they might wind up finishing each other off before either can get their hands on the champion! Rico staggers in the corner, and is soon struck with a running lariat that crushes him in the corner! Rico slumps, but Bo picks him up and biels him out of the corner, sending him halfway across the ring! COACH I hope you had "under three minutes" in the pool tonight, Mikey Cole, because Bo looks set to finish off Rico right here! As Rico tries to recall what town we're in tonight, Bo hits the ropes...but in an act of desperation (or stupidity, your call), Lucius hooks his ankle as he runs the ropes, causing Bo to drop face first into the canvas! Rico, shaking off the effects of Bo's offense, winks at his partner and then starts clubbing the back of Bohemoth, as Lucius cheers him on...and then the cheers of the fans grow high and mighty, as the actions of Lucius have just caused an undesired outcome. COLE Coach, it's Zack! Zack Malibu is charging down the aisle! Malibu heads to ringside and rounds the corner, rushing after Lucius, who sees him and backsteps! Lucius begs off, then opts for a cheap shot, but Malibu blocks the punch and waylays him with several shots of his own, then sends Lucius into the metal stairs! Lucius, groggy and sore, comes up to his feet, but Maibu rushes him and leaves the ground, leaping into the air to drive the point of his knee into the side of Lucius' head! COLE ZACK ATTACK ON LUCIUS SOUL! The fans roar, as Lucius is now a non-factor. Bo slips out of Rico's scoop slam attempt, then spins him around and plants him with a spinebuster! With the wind knocked out of him, Rico is easy pickings, as Bo picks him up and effortlessly swings him outward, drilling him hard into the canvas with the Erotic Awakening of B~! One hand on the chest is all it takes, as Bo makes the cocky pin while smirking at Malibu, waiting for Nick Patrick's count to make it official. ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! COLE Now that is impressive! COACH That's a BEAST, Michael Cole. Zack Malibu has no idea what Anglemania has in store for him when he has to meet that man! Bo gets up, and now he and Zack are staring each other down. Calmly, Malibu steps into the ring and the two go eye to eye, talking and nodding, with the fans buzzing the whole time. COACH Is he thanking him or is he going to kill him right here and now? COLE If I were a betting man, I'd bet the former and not the latter, but with the ways things are going between these two, who knows? Finally, Bo pats the shoulder of Malibu, a gesture of goodwill for Malibu's aid in offsetting Lucius' interference. Malibu nods in acceptance of the gesture and turns to walk away...then looks over his shoulder back at Bo AND CRACKS HIM WITH A SCHOOL'S OUT~! COACH YO~! COLE ZACK MALIBU...ZACK HAS JUST DROPPED BOHEMOTH WITH A SCHOOL'S OUT! The fans continue to buzz, some cheering loudly, some booing Zack's shot. Malibu walks over to Bo, standing over his unconscious body before kneeling down and slapping his chest, telling him "We're even!" Zack gets up, looking much more stoic and serious as usual, and heads to the back, never once looking back in regret at what he just did. COLE Zack Malibu and Bohemoth...they're both out for blood, it looks like neither one wants to wait for Anglemania! Right now, I understand we have cameras positioned backstage! Backstage we go into the Love Generation dressing room, trailing close behind the dejected looking form of Jade Rodez. Carrying a cup of coffee in her hand Jade is greeted by Tyler, who quickly covers up the speaker part of the phone he's talking on as he notices Jade. TYLER Hey. Listen, Leon's on the phone and he wants to speak to you. I'll put him on speaker, shall I? With a sad nod Jade agrees. Tyler, after explaining to Leon on the other end, does as he said and quickly takes off to give Jade her space. LEON Hi, Jade? How are you doing? Jade doesn't respond. Arms folded, she sits back in the chair staring forwards at the blank wall in front of her. LEON Stupid question, I'm sorry. Look, I know you're still angry with me. Jade continues to stare forwards. LEON You've got every right to be, I know. But this doesn't change anything, you know. Mom and Dad only told me about a year ago, after you'd already shown up here. Maybe they figured since I was virtually looking after you by that point that I'd handle but, I didn't know how to tell you. And I certainly didn't know it was Krista. Not until... Jade glances up as Leon stops. LEON ...well, I kinda put two and two together a couple of weeks ago, but I swear I didn't know for sure, not until Moneymaker said so. You have to believe me. JADE I do. LEON Good. Look, I know this is all horrible for you and it's going to take you a long time to really adjust. But when you're ready, I'm still here for you. Shayne, Tyler, they'll still be here for you. We all will. No matter what your blood might say, we're still your family, your friends, people who really care about you. So once you get your head together we'll talk. Besides, sister, niece, what does it really matter, huh? Leon's attempts at lightening the mood go down like a lead balloon with Jade who just glares at the speaker phone as he chuckles nervously. LEON Too soon for jokes, I'm sorry. Listen, maybe it's better if I just let you think about what I said and you can give me a call back when... if you wanna talk, okay? Stay safe. I'll see you next week if you don't get back to me before then. JADE ...okay. With an audible sigh, Leon hangs up. Right on cue there's a knock at the door and before Jade can think of telling whoever's on the other side to buzz off, the door opens and Maggie Nerdly walks in, closing the door carefully behind her. JADE Please Maggie, not now... MAGGIE It's okay, no interviews. I'm not here for work. I'm just here to talk... about... ya know. JADE Where's Tyler? MAGGIE Oh, I sent him packing. Poor kid, he was so busy with his ear pressed up against the door he didn't hear me coming. Listen, I can't stay long because I've got a match tonight... can you believe that? It sounds so weird, even coming out of my own mouth. Main event! Hollaback to that, girl! But, that's not important. What's important is how you're feeling? You can confide in me, ya know, I used to do the problem pages in my High School newsletter. Acne, backne, crackne, I've guided the masses through them all. Then once Marvin and Melvin graduated, they gave me the job on the paper! Anyway, point is, I'm hear to help. I'll be your listen lady. Just let it all out. Pretend you don't know me. I mean, I know I'm dating your brother and all so I... Maggie stops all of a sudden as Jade kinda scoffs under her breath. MAGGIE What? Did I say something wrong? JADE No. MAGGIE Is it about Leon? Because I won't take his side, I promise. JADE Yeah. So, you've got a big tag match tonight! Tha Puerto Rican. He's pretty cute, don'tcha think? No? Well, give it time. It's amazing what working closely will do sometimes. Who knows, you might find out you've got some sort of amazing chemistry with him! I mean, look at Leon... my UNCLE, Leon... look at the chemistry he and Melody have together, huh? Maggie struggles for a moment to respond to that. JADE Oh yeah. Have you heard their AnglePalooza DVD commentary? It's good stuff. So, I take it Leon's wished you good luck tonight... MAGGIE Well... not yet. JADE Oh. Well, nevermind, I'm sure he's got a lot on his mind now that it's out that he's really my uncle and not my brother. I'm sure he'll get around to it. MAGGIE Yeah... uh, listen, I hate to cut and run like this but I really should be getting ready for my match, so you'll be okay, right? JADE Oh yeah, sure, sure, you go right ahead. And good luck. MAGGIE Yeah, yeah... thanks. Looking a little shaken up Maggie stands back up and walks back out of the dressing room scratching her head. As soon as the door shuts, Jade's forced smile disappears and she picks up her coffee and takes a satisfied swig. COMMERCIAL

As we return to live action DJ Clue's Super Mario Mix hits, and the Burrough Boys walk through the curtains, holding two packages. Quincy is wearing an LSU football jersey. COLE Well, the Burrough Boys on their way to the ring, unscheduled, obviously with something to say! COACH I wonder what could be in the boxes? Waldo is holding a small square box, and Luther is holding a longer, but skinny box. The Boys enter the ring, and Mariano grabs a mic. MARIANO As you know...last week, there was a big battle royal at the Leap Year Spectacular, a big Heartland battle royal. And our guy, Reject, he came *that close* to winning that thing, and facing Sandman9000 at AngleMania VII. Mariano makes his way over to Luther and Waldo, who are holding the boxes. MARIANO Now, Reject's really had some bad luck lately in the ring, and he's really been feeling down. So me and the boys went in and got him a few things, to maybe lighten the mood. So let's bring Reject out here, so he can get his stuff! The crowd starts to boo, as Renagade hits, and Reject slowly walks down the aisle, with a puzzled look on his face, and climbs into the ring. MARIANO Now...we know how you've been feeling lately, you've been in a slump...and when you're in a slump, we'll be right there with you in a slump. So hopefully this can change things. Luther and Waldo open the packages, revealing a brand new Yankee cap and pinstripe jersey. COACH Wow! LUTHER Go ahead, put it on! This is the jersey of champions, something these people in Ohio wouldn't know about! *crowd boos* Reject puts the hat on, then Waldo helps him put the jersey on. Waldo then pulls out a camera, as Luther and Mariano stand next to Reject, and Reject puts his arms around them. WALDO Come on, let's get a big smile. Reject is focused on the camera, and thus never sees Quincy's spinning thrust kick which catches him right in the chin! COLE HEY! Waldo tosses the camera down, then runs over and proceeds to stomp away at Reject! Mariano and Luther join in on the assault, as the crowd is completely confused at how to respond. COLE This was a setup! COACH What in world is going on here? Quincy then picks up Reject, hooks him from behind, and executes the TANOOKI SUIT~!!! Officials run to the ring, as Mariano grabs the mic once again. MARIANO Maybe you didn't hear us right! You ain't been gettin' it done! And when you ain't gettin' it done, that affects us, homie! We're all supposed to be in this together! Well, not anymore. You can sit around and feel sorry for yourself, but the Burrough Boys are movin' up in the world! And we're startin' now! Quincy takes the Yankee jersey, and drapes it over Reject. The Burrough Boys celebrate, as their music plays. COLE Well folks, this one certainly came out of nowhere...rest assured we'll be following this story very closely in the coming weeks! COACH I don't get it, Cole, I don't get it! I've never sensed that there was any tension between these guys! COLE Right now, let's switch subjects while Reject gets cleared out the ring and gets the medical attention he needs. Folks, its obvious that the match between Alix and Krista at Anglemania is an enormous deal to our fans. And its an enormous deal to the city of Los Angeles. But given Alix and Krista's celebrity status its also a big thing in the Entertainment industry. So, we've asked a few celebs their opinion on who takes the big match at Anglemania! First up, Natalie Portman and Demi Moore. Footage of Natalie Portman at the 23rd Annual Starlight Starbright Children's Foundation Gala is shown. PORTMAN I like Alix alot. I disagree with her choice in company and girlfriends, which can really affect someone if the influence is strong enough. But I've talked with her a couple times, and she is such a sweet and nice person. Very excitable. I first met her and Krista on the same day, actually, at a convention in San Diego for the EPA. Krista was by far the smartest person I met that day. Just totally focused, and knew more about the issues than anyone else, and was so able to go from one thing to the other. And Alix was definitely the nicest, so I hope they don't fight and get back together. Yeah, that's my hope. Why can't we have a happy ending? Footage of Demi Moore at the same event is shown MOORE When they broke up people made such a fuss about it. You would have thought the world had never seen it before. That's the nature of the celebrity break up, they turn it into a huge war and make you pick sides. And I guess I have to the same. I'll take Krista, she's fast approaching her forties, I have to stick by her for that. Alix still has the joy of being of being in her early thirties, late twenties. We fade out from the shot of Moore laughing. COMING UP NEXT THE METROSEXUAL MONSTER IN ACTION RICO DE JANIERO VS BOHMEOTH NEXT

Coming back from break we see Anglesault sitting behind his desk, which is creepily decorated by numerous pictures of Yankees captain Derek Jeter. ANGLESAULT Good evening. We are now just 24 days away from the seventh anniversary of the OAOAST in earnest, AngleMania VII. Week by week the card is taking shape. And in an effort to make the Road To AngleMania every bit as exciting as the show itself is bound to be, it's my pleasure to announce that next week, HeldDOWN~! will emanate from Lafayette, Louisiana with a huge main-event. For the first time in 18 months, the OAOAST will present the Torneo Cibernetico! ANGLESAULT This year's Cibernetico will be the biggest and most exciting ever, with two teams of 8! On one team, Theodore Moneymaker's Enterprise will join forces with Landon Maddix's Cucaracha Internacional, with a select four from each group. And they will face a team captained by Leon Rodez. Team selection and just as importantly, the batting order, will be their call. In the end, there can and will only be one winner of the Cibernetico... and that winner will recieve an AngleMania match of their choosing. With that in mind, we look forward to next week, for now though let's send it back to the arena. And we do just that, where the audience is popping enormously from that huge announcement. COLE Wow! You'd hate to waste such a great match on a nothing city like Lafayette, but what a big announcement that was. I'm already counting down the days until that one. Now, folks, last week at the Leap Year Spectacular, we were promised that the man who has brought the Oriental Assasain GENSHOU into the OAOAST. What we got was that man, at least we think, as his entire body was covered from head to toe in a ninja costume. He came to the ring as GENSHOU was destroying yet another opponent and gave us hints. COACH He claimed to be someone who has wrecked havoc on both the X-Division and Zack Malibu in the past. The voice sounded somewhat familiar, but at this point, only speculation can be had as to who is the man behind the mask. Nonetheless, his protege, GENSHOU, has created a path of destruction, lining up bodies across the promotion and not only beating them, but leaving them hurt badly. COLE This mysterious benefactor has already begun to work his magic. We've seen GENSHOU have his way against various no-name journeymen in the past. This week, the competition ups a bit, as he will face one-half of Los Diablos, Mariachi! (Cut to a shot of Mariachi on the apron, entering the ring with his music playing) BUFFER Introducing first, from Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, at a weight of 169 pounds....MARIAAAACHI!!! The lights in the arena go out, then the light show begins. GENSHOU's music begins, as the ninja leads him into the arena. BUFFER His opponent...from Yokohama, Japan...he is accompanied by his mysterious ninja friend. At a weight of 240 pounds, this is GENSHOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU! GENSHOU sprays his mist in the air, then enters the ring as the lights come up...he wastes no time and kicks Mariachi in the stomach immediately! *BELL RINGS* GENSHOU immediately pulls Mariachi mid-ring, bringing him over with a snap suplex, floating right into a cover! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COLE We don't see a lot of traditional wrestling manuevers out of the Asian Sensation...maybe that's a hint as to what he's learning from this ninja... GENSHOU pulls Mariachi up and sends him off with an Irish whip. Mariachi ducks a back elbow on the way back, comes off the ropes on the other end, then sends GENSHOU flying back into the ropes with a Dynamite Kid-style back-bump dropkick! GENSHOU holds himself up with the ropes, then kicks Mariachi in the face with the sole of his boot as he attempts to get up. Mariachi gets pulled up by GENSHOU and then dropped with a fireman's carry front slam. GENSHOU stomps on Mariachi's stomach, causing him to sit up in pain, then sends him back down with a buzzsaw kick to the face! GENSHOU pulls Mariachi up, then Irish whips him into a corner. GENSHOU charges at Mariachi and gets a boot to the face. GENSHOU steps back, dazed. Mariachi charges out of the corner at GENSHOU and runs right into a spinning wheel front kick (extra 1/2 rotation)! NINJA AT RINGSIDE NO MERCY! NO SURRENDER! GENSHOU pulls Mariachi up by the mask, drawing a warning from the referee. Mariachi gets out of GENSHOU's grasp with a headbutt to the mid-section. Mariachi comes off of the ropes and goes for a flying headscissors takeover, but gets slammed down on his chest and face as GENSHOU reverses it! GENSHOU pulls Mariachi up, hooks him for a Rock Bottom, then lifts him so his legs are draped over the top rope. GENSHOU then pulls Mariachi down by the head and arm, almost like a head-drop Flatliner! The crowd goes "OOOOOOH!" as GENSHOU kips up and runs his thumb across his throat. He pulls Mariachi up again, hooks Mariachi's head under his arm, and hits the Satsujin Cutter (Roll of the Dice into stunner)! GENSHOU goes to the top rope...ORIENTAL TSUNAMI (corkscrew moonsault)! GENSHOU goes for the cover... ONE! TWO! THREE! *BELL RINGS* BUFFER Your winner...GENSHOOOOOOUUUUU! COLE Mariachi got in easily the most offense of anyone who's ever faced GENSHOU before, but GENSHOU still obliterated him! COACH Watch out, the ninja has the microphone and is in center-ring! NINJA My assasain has once again left a mere man battered and beaten in this ring. In due time, GENSHOU will be sent on his specific mission in this company, almost a diamond heist of sorts. He will take the reward on the top of this mountain and never come back with it! On his way, he will hurt, maim, and destroy with no remorse felt throughout his soul! He will end careers, he will take lives, and he will ruin familes! Men like John Wayne Gacy, the Melendez brothers, and Jeffrey Dahmer, cold-blooded MURDERERS, will pale in comparison to the killing fields that my GENSHOU will have created! The blood of men will reign down from the skies like a Sunday afternoon rain-shower in the spring. Previous bloodshed in this promotion will be comparable to the busted hymen on a 12-year-old virgin rape victim once my GENSHOU is done harming the innocent and killing the guilty. Be warned, OAOAST competitors: my GENSHOU is coming at all of you with murderous intentions and not one man that is in his path of destruction will be left with a breath in their body. He doesn't care who you are: man, woman, child, adult, hermaphrodite...if you have a pulse and try and interrupt his mission, he will slit your GODDAMNED THROAT, PULL OUT HIS THROBBING (bleep), AND (bleep) THE WOUND! If you think you're on the list of those unfortunate souls who will be skinned like cattle that just don't make the cut for breeding, you most likely are. So go home, kiss the wife goodbye. Tell your kids that Daddy made a bad, bad mistake and that if you love him like they say they do, they will NEVER, EVER spite a man like you have spited me in your pasts! YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE! YOU'RE ALL GONNA (bleep)in' DIE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! COLE We have a lot of screwed-up things on this program every week...that might be one of the most bizarre tirades I've ever heard. COACH Certainly one of the most tasteless...I'm sure the company'll issue an apology tomorrow, but this guy's referencing pedophilic rape and all this violence on a show like this. This dude's screwed up and I really apologize to anyone who had to hear that who was offended. This guy's apparantly a man of this company's past who's been driven off the deep end by something that someone's done to him. He's so scarred that he won't show his face or reveal his identity, but someone's going to be very badly hurt and I REALLY don't like this! COLE Folks, switching gears for just a bit, I'd like to let you know that you have an opportunity to win two tickets to Los Angeles for Anglemania courtesy of Sony and the Playstation 3! Your victory include a room at the world famous Hollywood On Sunset, and a meet greet with the OAOAST superstars. COACH Why would anyone want to attend a show where a rapist and a necrophiliac are running lose? COLE There's a voucher for free popcorn. COMMERCIAL

from the nationwide arena do not call opener, although I'm not really sure why you shouldn't yet.

Brought to you by American Express Taped: February 29th 2008 First air date: March 1st 2008 (check local listings for airings in your area) Announce team: Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura Lead correspondent: Tony Brannigan Fresh off their commentating duties in the LYS Spectacular mainevent, Jess and Tony gave us a warm welcome to Syndicated. This weeks show featured Christian Wright (certainly not appearing by choice, I assure you!) against MARV of the Christ Air Express, an interview with Lindsay Gonzales-Popick, John Brickston Vs Jamie O'Hara, and most important of all in the mainevent Mad Cappa Vs Vinny Valentine in the disco ball on lava lamp match! ***Christian Wright w/The Beverly Hills Blonds Vs MARV w/MEL*** Making a very, very, very, rare Syndicated appearance was Christian Wright, present to aid his stablemates in their ongoing tussle with Syndicated mainstays, The Christ Air Express. Timeout to lol@whiteboy Marv for being the posterboy for LYS, and not even getting booked on the show. Wright and MARV opened the contest with a mat based feeling out process that MARV finally won with a trio of arm drags. His resulting armlock didn't last long, however, as a distraction from Simon Singleton earned Wright's freedom. Singleton's meddling didn't gain Wright any exclusive moments on the attack, though, and he and Marv continued to trade holds. At first they battled each other with throws, suplexes and in MARV's (fuk this all caps shit) case rudimentary flying moves. Yet as the match wore on, the two increased the power behind their attacks, wowing the audience with some high impact moves. Wright even nearly scored a pinfall with the Nightmare On Wallstreet. But MARV looked to gain the upper hand after he countered Wright's brainbuster into an Acid Drop. But CW stymied MARV by chucking him over the ropes and onto the apron. There MARV was immediately victimized by The Beverly Hills Blonds. This attack drew MEL into the fracas, and with Wright providing backup to his associates, the match degenerated into a crazed brawl. Thus, referee Charles Robinson had no choice but to call for the bell. NO CONEST The constant ringing of the bell didn't do much to deter the warring fighters and their donnybrook was only intensified with the arrival of CPA. With the addition of the former pro boxer, the fight had the potential to become a brutal beatdown of the horribly overmatched CAE. But branding iron wielding Gunslingers ran down the entrance ramp and chased The Enterprise members off. Interview time! Away for the evening/early morning/late afternoon/miday/late night to handle some overseas Anglemania publicity was Tony Brannigan. Taking his place was adorable interview personality, Maggie Nerdly. Her guest for the segment was Miss Lindsay Gonzales-Popick. Eschewing her usual arsenal of friendly soft ball questions, Maggie hit Lindsay with an accusatory query. She wondered why America had presidential elections more often then the OAOAST had title defenses. Needless to say, this did not sit well with Lindsay, who asked what the state of OAOAST titles had to do with her? “Uh, you're the women's champion in case you forgot.” Maggie remarked then proceeded to lambaste Lindsay for her horrible reign as champion. Pushed even further on the defensive, Lindsay claimed that she was working in conjunction with the OAOAST scouting department to scour the globe for worthy challengers. Maggie and the audience called bullshit on this excuse, and demanded that Lindsay actually defend the title against a worthy foe such as Black Widow. Lindsay, pushed well past the limits of her patience, hastily agreed to the order, but did so only under one clever condition: that Maggie be her challenger on this edition of Syndicated. Without any hesitation, Maggie earnestly accepted the offer. Thus as we went to break we were given the promise of a women's title match, between a valet and an eighteen year old 4'11 interviewer. Anglemania hype video time! This piece examined the match between Zack Malibu and Bohemoth. Its first focus was the contrast between the way the two performers spend their time outside the ring. Zack was shown in the role of the consummate family man, playing with his daughter Jenna in her playpen, or spending time with wife Candie at home or on walks in local parks. Bohemoeth, on the other hand, was shown as being solely devoted to athletic conquests. Whereas Zack was made to look human and identifiable, Bo was portrayed be a hostile creature with no other interests besides reaching the top of the OAOAST mountain. The monster was shown in poorly lit gyms, lifting near unbelievable amounts of weight, or exhausting himself on a treadmill. The video also featured him training in the ring in a dingy gym, decimating his weaker sparring partners. This piece also listed the superstars' vital stats and OAOAST accomplishments. Though Bo had a severe edge in the height and weight department, Zack had an obvious advantage in the achievement category with numerous world title wins and Anglemania mainevents. This didn't faze Bo's confidence, as he labeled Zack, slothful, lazy, and complacent, before guaranteeing a dominant victory. Zack said he's sorry that Bo's making that mental mistake, and that if Bo thinks he's not going to bring his A game he's in for a rude awakening. Backstage, Maggie sought out advice on her freshly made title match from her brothers' MARV and MEL. The twins, however, were too busy conversing with The Gunslingers on their problems with The Enterprise to pay poor Margret (I like that name better!) any mind. Dejected and annoyed Maggie then sought her boyfriend Leon for assistance. Still reeling from Moneymaker's Leap Year Spectacular announcement, Leon had zero interest in assisting Maggie and sent her on her way. ***John Brickston Vs Jamie O'Hara*** At the onset of the contest, Brickston tried to impose his considerable weight advantage on the Birmingham Bad Boy. But O'Hara was elusive prey, quickly avoiding and reversing Brickston's strikes and basic attempts to submit him. The Brit turned his defensive strategy into some offensive momentum with a blockbuster, and then proceeded to run Brickston ragged with hurricanaranas and elaborate flips. “Rock Hard” was able to neutralize O'Hara's speed for a little bit after he countered a swanton press into a reverse powerslam. From there Brickston proceeded to work on O'Hara's back, and nearly got a submission with a Texas cloverleaf. But, O'Hara valiantly fought back against his rival, and dizzied him with a springboard corckscrew moonsault press. Brickston tried to keep up with O'Hara's pace but eventually feel victim to the Blaze Out 630. Winner: via pinfall Jamie O'Hara After the commercial break, we were brought to the backstage catering table where Jamie O'Hara was receiving congratulations for his victory from Detective Bosley. But, Jamie's moment for celebration was spoiled by the arrival of Nathaniel Black. However, Black wished to do his countryman no harm, and instead offered him applause as well. These compliments were stained with sarcasm, though, as Black noted that O'Hara had lost his previous three contests, before finally picking up a “fluke win”. Quick with the come back, O'Hara flippantly informed Black that he was denied a chance to be six man champion, because Maddix knew he wasn't good enough to get the win. That little insult angered Black beyond words, and he attempted to gain some revenge by shoving O'Hara's face into the nearby punch bowl! Before Black could succeed in drowning the smart mouthed youngster in the blood of the Kool-Aid man, Bosley managed to separate him from his victim. This interference did not necessarily sit well with Black, who smashed the punch bowl over Bosley's head in retaliation! Still seething, Black upended the entire catering table onto both Bosley and O'Hara. In the background Jumbo weeped, because there went the tasty funnel cake. Black wasn't done with his deplorable behavior, though, and dragged O'Hara's corpse from beneath the culinary wreckage of the catering table. Hauling O'Hara past stunned staff and wrestlers alike, Black brought him into the nearest men's bathroom. After clearing the handicap stall of Biff Atlas, Black disgustingly deposited O'Hara's head into the vacated toilet. I'll leave your imagination to think up what O'Hara might've encountered in that unseemly abyss created by Mister Atlas. Completely oblivious to what just happened, James Riggs called from the next stall over for a courtesy flush. ***Women's Title Match: Maggie Nerdly Vs Lindsay Gonzales-Popick*** Before the opening bell even faded from the ears of the fans, Maggie violently speared Lindsay to the ground! As the crowd rooted on the diminutive teenager, she hammered Lindsay with a torrent of fists and elbows. Somehow, Gonzales managed to get out from underneath her amazingly aggressive challenger. But, this didn't buy her much of reprieve as Maggie then lit her up with knife edge chops. Weakening Lindsay with those chops allowed the Canadian grab her into a front facelock for a DDT. But Lindsay reversed that into a pinfall that only got a one count. That disappointing count was an ill omen for Lindsay, as Maggie brought her down with a swinging neckbreaker, which was followed by a second rope body splash! Lindsay was resilient and kicked out of the ensuing fall, though. As she and Maggie headed back to their feet Popick's better half found her offense and weakened Maggie's arm with an arm drag, a single arm DDT, and finally an arm bar. But, Maggie escaped the submission, and Lindsay was left to trade attacks with the Nerdly girl. Unfortunately for Lindsay she was ill equipped to handle Maggie's speed, and lost any hopes of gaining the advantage when Maggie struck her with a hammerlock DDT! Realizing that Lindsay was mortally wounded by that attack, Maggie quickly went to the top rope, where she brought a cheering audience to their feet. But those cheers became heated boos as Popick himself emerged from the stands to shove Maggie off the top rope! Near blind 90 year old Clem Buzzlefoxer failed to notice this, and Lindsay was able to crawl on top of Maggie for a fall. Winner:via pinfall Lindsay Gonzales-Popick Lindsay regained enough of her health to order Popick to still Maggie so that she could smash her face with the title belt. But no harm would befall little Margret thanks to PRL charging into the ring to come to Maggie's aid. Unfortunately PRL's moment of heroism cost him dearly; the moment he found himself in the ring, he also found Popick's title belt coming down across the back of his head! With PRL stunned into inaction by that attack, Popick left him with the parting gift of a Synchronicity Bomb. Just what he's always wanted! More Anglemania hype videos! The feature superstar was hometown heroine, Alix Maria Spezia, discussing what it was like to grow up in Los Angeles. Alix's late 70's, early 80's childhood was spent in an apartment off Sunset near the whiskey a-go-go, which suited her hard partying parents, a recording studio receptionist mother, and a George Jung wannabe father just fine. Because of her mother's music industry job, and her father's drug kingpin delusions, a wide variety of famous characters would file into her house for one reason or another. Alix watched people such as Lita Ford and Nikki Sixx proceed through her tiny home with awe and amazement. Witnessing the larger then life quality they carried themselves with is what first set Alix's heart on being famous. Her early teenage years weren't spent pursuing that lofty goal though. Tomboy Alix and her elder brother Ronnie would wage summer long wars against the LAPD with the weapons of chronic shoplifting, and breaking into random homes to pilfer whatever they could find. She claims the best times were spent skateboarding through construction sites and giving the workers hell, or when every kid with a skateboard, bike, some weed or booze would takeover a playground on a Friday or Saturday for an all night party, usually at West Hollywood Elementary. Alix said the worst experience from her delinquency ridden youth came in seventh grade when she and her bro broke into a home to raid the fridge only to find a bowl of shrimp. Alix ate the shrimp and suffered a near fatal allergic reaction because of it. As she lay on the floor, her throat closing, her breath fleeting, her brother took off, assuming her to be dead. The only reason she even lives to tell the story is because the owner came home and found a dying twelve year old on his kitchen floor. Alix's act abruptly cleaned itself up with the harrowing arrest of her father in eighth grade. She remembered that she was walking home from a friend's house, when she saw the steady swirl blue and red lights that can only be a mass of cop cars. The sight of her dad being tackled to the ground by no less then six heavily armed officers was her cue to turn around and calmly proceed back to her friends' house. She said if she hadn't, the police would've thrown her in Juvenile detention like they did her brother. With her dad facing prison for intent to distribute, Alix's mom remarried with shocking quickness, hitching herself to a big time criminal defense attorney. Suddenly Alix went from the squalor of living on the edge of LA's fading 80's rock scene to shacking up in a five story mansion in Beverly Hills. She attended Beverly Hills High School, which she proudly notes Lenny Kravitz, and Slash are also alumni of. In her senior year of highschool, Alix used to work at a little swimsuit store on Melrose, which is where she met Krista, who's uncle owned the shop. Krista was the ring leader of the loony circus like atmosphere that characterized the store. A junior at UCLA, Krista would send out other clerks to liquor stores to stock up on drinks once her uncle went home. They'd all mix the cocktails in the managers office, and Krista would throw some wild music onto the stereo, and convert the place into an all night party. Customers would see them drinking daiquiris behind the counter and be left utterly speechless, until Krista offered them a drink. Alix admitted that she worshiped Krista from the moment she met her, but hastily mentioned that everyone did that to Kris. Krista had this unbelievable presence and star power that Alix hadn't felt since those famous rockers trudged across the carpets of her childhood home. When asked about her favorite memory of the Coliseum, Alix said it was when her grandfather stabbed a dude in a Chiefs' jersey at the concession stand. Go Raiders! She closed out the piece by saying she expects to be cheered more then anyone (especially Krista) in her hometown, unless the stands are full of LAPD officers from the years 87-89. Then she fears for her life. ***Vinny Valentine -VS- Mad Cappa DISCO BALL ON A LAVA LAMP MATCH*** You wanted it America! You got it! And when I say America, I mean King Cucaracha, who isn't even American! The setup, of course, was insane, a twenty pound disco ball allegedly straight from the set of Kylie Minogue's Your Disco Needs You hung atop a six foot lava lamp, resplendent in its glowing orbs of red and yellow inside orange liquid. At the base of this lava lamp rested a machine designed to dispense various disco paraphernalia throughout the course of the match. Done away with was the faint purple lighting scheme of Syndicated, now replaced by a darkened arena illuminated only by the flickering rays of multi color lights that carpeted the ring floor. The off white and purple ring ropes were also absent for this match. They were replaced with red velvet ropes that rested behind giant purple neon signs that read “STUDIO OAOAST” In comparison the rules were astoundingly mundane, for the simple fact that there were never any expressed. No, wait, there was one rule, Valentine employed the actual Village People as lumberjacks If it wasn't obvious that Cappa was out of his element from the Best Disco In Town style floor set, it certainly became so when Valentine filled the ring with male dancers designed to mimic Amil Stewart's Knock On Wood video. As the beautifully sequined but unhealthily obese dancers shimmied and shook, Cappa was left as dumbfounded as the audience. Thus he did the only thing he could, he stormed past the dancers and attacked Valentine. But unlike previous weeks Valentines was ready for him and back body dropped him over the velvet ropes and the neon sign! Cappa's crash brought the Village People upon him like vultures. The fivesome hammered him into submission, before cursing him with further humiliation by mocking his military service by singing In The Navy. After they returned Cappa to the ring, the match proceeded with some relative normalcy with Vinny wearing his rival down with a basic brawling offense. The disco machine then opened to give Vinny a feather boa which he promptly used to choke the life out of Cappa. Valentine even went as far as to employ the boa as a sling to shoot Cappa into the lava lamp! Though that blow hurt painfully, it didn't prevent Cappa from mowing down Vinny with a lariat. From there Cappa assumed control of the bout, angrily assaulting Vinny with little more then kicks and punches. After seeming to tire down Vinny with his strikes, Cappa began making his way towards the coveted disco ball. But, his understandably nervous foe earned himself a stay of execution with a low blow followed by a Night Fever (Alabama Jam)!! But things got crazy once again when the disco machine opened not to dispense any object, but to unleash a sea of strange pink smoke. Throughly confused by this apparently unexpected twist in his gimmick contest, Valentine stared on in helpless dismay. When Black Sweat begin the disco duck was left hastily demanding answers, as the crowd let out a large roar in anticipation for one of their favorites. Vinny's profanity stained mouth was silenced into horror when he turned around to see the figure of MISTER WARRIOR rising through the pink smoke like Satan from the very fires of hell. "What 'cha gonna do when ALDOSTERONE RUNS WILD ON YOU!?" Warrior bellowed to Vinny in a voice that could bring down the heavens. KICK. WHAM. HUMP Handle Slam into the neon sign! Sparks exploded across the landscape, as the disco duck's glitter soaked body became encased in a monument of blinding white conflagration. Left in its smoldering wake was a convulsing Valentine and chorus of “Holy Shit!” chants. Winner: Mad Cappa via virtue of Vinny Valentine being murdered by MISTER WARRIOR. After the match, Cappa made peace with the Village People, and they closed out the show with some In The Navy with WARRIOR.

[b]TAPED TUESDAY THE 26TH[/b] [b]Alix Maria Spezia's Condo Los Angeles, California[/b] The view is Alix Maria Spezia's home at the end of the “Hollywood” portion of sunset that leads into Beverly Hills. The condo is lavishly decorated, most likely from Mackenzie's influence, as the expensive beige and floral theme furniture and decor takes on an almost sterile, empty feel. Sitting on one of those flower patterned chairs is Terry Taylor. On the couch is Alix Maria Spezia, in a pink and white stripped Abercrombie Polo, and a denim skirt. At her side sits Mackenzie, looking much more professional in a grey business suit. They're backdropped against a room length window that overlooks the Los Angeles skyline. TERRY Ladies and gentlemen, Terry Taylor, here in Los Angeles at the home of Alix Maria Spezia, joined by Mackenzie DeCenzo and Alix hereself. Ladies, thank you for having me in your home. ALIX We coulda done at the Larry King studio but my parole officer says I can't leave the house for a week. MACKENZIE She's kidding, of course. TERRY Yes, of course. By the time this interview piece airs, Theodore Moneymaker will have finally revealed to a viewing audience of billions across the globe the true identity of Krista's child. The mystery has become a hot button topic in the OAOAST, with superstars who aren't even two months younger then Krista thinking they're her kid. With the information out in the public and lives irreparably changed is there anything you would like to say? Do you feel responsible for the lives that have been tragically altered by Moneymaker's behavior? MACKENZIE That issue can be addressed when its ready to be addressed. But, Mister Terry Taylor, I will tell you this when you speak of responsibility you're saying the key buzz word behind all of this. Because when an event of this huge magnitude, like this one which has sort of aroused the activity of bodies not only in the OAOAST, but also the interest of an entire entertainment world, occurs, human nature simply dictates people go scouring for blame. They need a tangible body to pin fault on, and say “There! Right there! That's the bad one!” And usually these judgments are snap, made in seconds and usually without any thought. So what I'm saying to you, and to the audience watching this program, is think once, think twice, and think a third time, before you chose the direction of your blame. Think about who's truly at fault in this debacle. TAYLOR You have to admit that Krista will be crushed by this revelation, her entire world turned upside down... Growing agitated, Alix jerks forward on her seat. ALIX Hey! Hearin' a lot words, but none of them “Gee, Alix, it sure is suck-suck-suck that Krista has been dropping all those really terrible, crappy lies about you” for the last couple months. Attention theater goers, I know you have come to witness a movie, but you about to see a scene! Her world is being turned upside down? Oh, gee, poor widdle diddle Krisssy, me so sowwwy, now she has to pop a couple extra Valium in addition to downing more shots of Jack then Guns N Roses has had guitarists. Let's all crawl under the covers with a big tub of cookies and cream ice cream, and let's sob for Krissy! And let's write a song on acoustic guitar, and post it on YouTube, and let's disable comments when people call us an emo fag. Yeah, dude, let's be all up on that, and let's forget that poor widdle diddle Krisssy has spreading lies about me like Christian Wright spreads his oral warts to Michael Cole underneath the table at Dennys. TERRY What type of lies? MACKENZIE You know exactly what type, Terry. Everytime you stand in line at the supermarket you see them, because they're plastered on the cover of every Esquire, Star, US Weekly. Hollywood Bad Girl Gone Bad: The sorrid tales of Alix Maria Spezia's drug addiction and wild Hollywood nights. Read the quotes in the articles, Terry. “Those close to Alix say her drug use has spiraled out of control to the point where her previously quirky personality traits have taken on a dangerous, manic bent.” “Those close to Alix” aren't really close to her at all, believe you me. They are a cold, manipulative, jealous, old, haggard bitch, who can feel her celebrity star being smoked out of existence by the supernova that is Alix's career. Mister Moneymaker believes she does this sort of thing as some kind of revenge for Alix entrusting me with the secret of her child. I disagree, though. I think Krista's does this kind of sick, twisted shit because, well, it fatally wounds her to see Alix becoming what she never could be under her rule. Independent. Free. Self sufficient. And maybe most importantly more famous then her. TERRY But, Alix, Krista still loves you, there's no way she would ever say anything like that about you! And whenever she mentions that subject about your out of control lifestyle, its because she cares about your health. You might think its great fun to party like that and play your junior high fantasy rockstar games, but there's a serious side effect no one is wising you up to. She's only talking about you, because she loves you. ALIX Well.... MACKENZIE That's where you make your mistake, Terry. Krista is a fabulous actor, its no problem for her to pull the wool over the simplest minds. Which is why you need people like me or Mister Moneymaker, persons of intelligence to hold your hand and take you to the truth. Krista, doesn't love Alix, that's absurd to even suggest that. She doesn't love anyone. Even herself. She hates herself, and the monster that she's become, the fact that she has this incredible celebrity image she has to fuel and drive every second of her life. She's not even a flesh and blood person any more. She's a brand or marketing scheme or a product line. So to compensate she demeans, she lies, and she disparages. The weaker and more insignificant she makes everyone else feel, the greater she thinks she is in comparison. Terry raises his eye brow in skepticism, as Mackenzie smiles with satisfaction. TERRY Certainly your entitled to your opinion, even if it is fed to you by Theodore Moneymaker. But Alix aren't there just too many stories for you and your representatives to keep denying? Haven't we reached a point where there may be some truth in everything you keep labeling a lie? You're in what should be a great time in your life with you working on your debut album, but people keep saying your behavior is arrogant, your anxiety ridden, your dangerously unpredictable and your paranoid. And that's nothing like your normal personality. And when you couple that with you being in and out hospitals, reports of you trashing entire hotel rooms on the road, almost daily reports of you having some sort of incident at a club or a bar or even a mall, these constant denials stop adding up. Angrily, Alix prepares to launch into a tirade but an eternally calm, Mackenzie holds her back. MACKENZIE Alix has it in her to go, go, go. She's still young, and she has such an inquisitive mind. She loves life so much. And she loves music and being around that. She love people, and as we all can attest to, she's such very social person. Its just that given the nature of what sells in the press and media, it makes her a very easy target for what's been some pretty malicious and slanderous disease of rumors from Krista. Terry, I love Alix, and you may not like me, but you have to believe me. Her best interests, well, they are only thing that's ever in my mind. If I thought there was any danger to her health both mental and physical, I would shut everything down in a silly minute. Tired of getting answers only from Mackenzie, Terry turns to Alix in hopes of getting her to speak. TERRY Alix, would you say these questions make you uncomfortable? Angry? ALIX Dude, I'm pissed at Krista, but I'm not angry like angry at you. I, like, don't get angry anymore. Not since I found Kabbalah. Alix holds up her left arm, showcasing a string around her wrist. MACKENZIE Um, That's the string from a bakery box. You didn't find Kabbalah. You found ka-pound-cake. ALIX Your words wash over me. You see, Kabbalah has taught me there is no room for negativity in life. And I believe him. MACKENZIE Kabbalah is not a person either. ALIX Then, uh like, how did he write Hotel California? Duh! Anybooty, you're not really getting me angry or anything, but you are, like, crazy annoying right now, dude. For real. I mean, am I dead? Am I the ghost of Christmas present? “Why Ebenzer, why did you cheat Bob Cratichit out of his paycheck on Christmas day, now his son will forever be a gimp, and his only sexual experiences will come from the transsexual Asian hookers not infested with Christian Wright's crabs.” Dude, I must be the only person alive, who's not really that worried about my life. We have to release ourselves from worry to truly achieve zen unity. Yeah, a lil something I learned in a town called Kabbalah. MACKENZIE Its not a town either. ALIX Riddle me this, riddle me that, then how did it write a book, smarty pants? Anypooter, of course I'm gonna be out in the town, that's my thing, I love to party. Loves it, loves it, loves it! I'm a naturally curious person who's interested in how things work in the world. TERRY I thought you were a naturally lazy person who doesn't care how things work as long as she doesn't have to do anything. ALIX Oh yeah, that's who I am. Ooopsie poopsie! Look, Mr.T, I don't really see, like, why I should be so caught up in being as chill as everyone wants me to be. Dude, no way am I gonna stop who I am, because there's a gazillion cameras, a jealous ex, and a bunch of wanna be DARE counselors on my ass 24/7. I got no reason to chill! Think about it, I just made insane amounts of cash selling off the cookie company to Moneymaker, more then I ever made selling photoshopped nudes of Christian Wright to trannies outside the clubs on Santa Monica. I've got killer new album dropping with the biggest dudes in the industry! Soooooo, I gots to part-ay like its 1999, and Terry, I'm about nine years past the expiration date! TERRY But to the point where you endanger yourself? What about your health! ALIX Terry, if ya want the Wright nudes sooooo freaking bad I'll e-mail 'em to ya like I did his mother and thirty eight members of the republican party, you don't have to wait till I die and will them to you. I'm not dead yet, Terry! Ya don't gotta shove me in the dumpster like they did with so many of my family members who died on their ill fated attempts to illegally cross the border. I'm doing okay, dude. Really, I am. TERRY You have had three separate hospitalizations over the past three months, the most publicized one even cost you to miss HeldDOWN! ALIX Although my teachings under the watchful tutorials of Mr. Kabbalah... MACKENZIE He's not a person, baby, he's not like Mr. Peanut. ALIX Uh, go back to school, dork, Mr. Peanut is not a person. He's a legume! Terry, am I gonna have to go on down to Sears or something, score a Tungsten Carbide five piece metric Drill Bit set so I can drill it into your friggin head? I had heat exhaustion! Heat exhaustion! The heat exhausted me! I don't know what you dudes want me to tell you, am I supposed to jack Doc's DeLorean and take a field trip to like right when my temperature shot up to space the final frontier? You know, I said I like to have fun, but I also kinda like to sort of ya know, be alive! Just because I'm way huge into the party scene doesn't mean that I'm just going around cutting coke with baseheads inside trailers in Riverside. If I had OD'ed on coke or something, do you think I'd be here at home chillin' with you? Maybe, I would, because a massive amount of drug in take is the only explanation I have for associating with you! But, no, I'd be in.. TERRY Rehab. ALIX Get to the back of the bus, Rosa Parks, no way! I'd be in Bogotá with eighty grams of Colombian pure, and getting Pablo Escobar's gang back to functions. MACKENZIE If Alix had a problem, or if I even had the slightest inkling of thoughts that there was something wrong with my baby, she would be the recipient of the best medical care in this country. TERRY And so, you're not partaking in any illegal drug consumption? ALIX Let me hear ya say no, no, no! TERRY And so it was heat exhaustion? ALIX Let me hear ya say yeah, yeah, yeah! TERRY Three times? ALIX Crap, I'm out of Destiny's Child songs to quote. Yeah, Terry, all three times. MACKENZIE Terry the amount of stress that goes hand in hand with putting together a major mainstream album with the type of larger then life artists she's working with is incredible. Unless, you're actually in the studio, right there, being wowed by the level of magical intensity that's going on, you wouldn't possibly understand. And with Alix's desires to produce something of worth and substance, she's only naturally going to be overwhelmed by the process. ALIX Terry…you’re putting me in, like, god, like the weirdest, awfullest position. It’s like I’m trying really to be accessible here with you and with all these super annoying reporters and crap, but I can’t talk to you about anything because you've all got like this messed up thing going on, this... MACKENZIE Preconceived notion on Alix's health created, mutated, and fueled by Krista Isadora Duncan. ALIX Uh-huh, exactly! I know I used to date her and stuff, and I loved her, I really did. And I made her my life, and my eternity, and I felt like total crap when I had to hurt her. But then he does crazy shit like this to me, when I've never said anything that wasn't so incredibly sweet about her in public. She’s a sucky person. She’s a sucky person to do this to me. Mackenzie rubs Alix's shoulder to lend her support. ALIX Ya know, I don't hate her, she can be a very sweet girl, and she does have a big heart. But I’m never gonna [i]like[/i] her again. She's done a really messed up thing, and I dunno why. Why did she do it? Why did she do it? Give me a good reason why she did it! TERRY Alix, you did the same thing when you told Mackenzie Krista had an illegitimate child! MACKENZIE She told me that in the trust one builds within a passionate relationship! Okay, I violated that trust when I blabbed to Mister Moneymaker, but like always, my actions were only motivated with Alix's welfare in mind. If you're going to fault me, fault me for being a slave to my love. TERRY Fine, but there's no real proof that Krista ever leaked what you're claiming to be a lie. That's a theory first propagated by Theodore Moneymaker, and one that Mackenzie has kept ramm.. ALIX Oh my god, I can't do this. When you sit, like, in my face, and you know what she's doing to me, you know, and then you try and be all like “but Alix she still loves you.” Whatever, man. If she loved me, if she ever really loved me, she wouldn’t do shit like that to me. Okay? I mean, I, like, I really don't even know what to say. You're driving me crazy right now, 'cause, like, I can have this whole conversation everyday of stupid week. I do have this conversation everyday, and no one ever pauses and thinks “Hey maybe this gal is on to something”! I don't want to talk about the rumors, I just wanna talk about my CD or my clothing line, anything but this. But, I don't get anything but this! You know that its, like, it’s not gonna be okay until Krista is gone. Like, you know that. Because she is the problem. Okay? Its her. Terry nods solemnly before opening his mouth to ask a follow up question. But no words come from his mouth, due to Mackenzie interrupting him. MACKENZIE (arrogantly) Lucky you, Terry, huh. Your cross country trip to the Golden State has come with a very nice reward. TERRY What do you mean by that? Reward? MACKENZIE Yes, reward. You're privileged to biggest scoop of the 08, and what did you have to do to get your hands on it? Practice irresponsible journalism? Completely fail to present any objectivity in your line of questioning? Join in with the media circus to exacerbate this delicate situation? Doesn't matter at all, you're the man with the microphone, and that makes you the man with the scoop. Bit of background info for you, though. Every time Alix and Krista would return home to Los Angeles to perform for the OAOAST, the crowd reaction was astronomical. Like a virtual sonic boom, they easily got the largest reaction of the night. No one ever topped them, because Hollywood loves its celebrities, and Los Angeles loves its own. TERRY I remember very well. But is our stroll down memory lane planning to reach a destination? MACKENZIE Sure, of course it will, just like at the end of every show in Los Angeles, we'd all reach one unified question, “Who would get cheered loudest in Los Angeles? Alix or Krista? How would the fans react if they were to fight?” Well, Terry, on March 30th that question can finally be answered. Mister Moneymaker, and I are going to give to the world a true battle of Los Angeles, and epic match for an epic city, the city of angels favorite daughters, the two queens of California, Krista Isadora Duncan, and Alix, one and one for the first time ever. Right in the city that's as much a part of them as Krista's fitness empire, or Alix's curly brown hair. Look me in the eye and tell me you aren't just a little bit wowed by that. TERRY I'm...I'm....I'm more then a little wowed, I'm a lot! MACKENZIE And you should be, Terry. You should be. And, you'll be even more wowed when the second largest city in America casts Krista out its limits and embraces Alix as their one and only. Alix shows no real reaction to the news, a stark contrast to the excitement presented by Mackenzie. TERRY Alix, how do you feel about fighting your ex-girlfriend, a woman you've been inseparable from for twelve years? In your hometown no less? ALIX For you, its this so huge, and wild deal, and everyone is gonna go all crazy, “Oh Alix and Krista, in Los Angeles. Oh, dude, rad!” But this is my life, dude, and this is my home from cradle to grave. Krista and I used to argue all the time, but I never wanted to hurt her. I really,like, hoped that she wouldn’t make me want to but she really did. It just sucks. She was the only one I've ever really given all my heart to and it sucks that I did and I really regret it and next time I won’t. I just feel like I’ve been put in the worst situation possible. And its her fault. She was my best friend and now it’s so weird and it’s just getting weirder and this whole thing is just so, so, so incredibly out of control... Alix trails off, leaving Mackenzie to put her arm around her to provide comfort. MACKENZIE Terry, I think this conversation is rather futile. Alix walks in company with hatred, as long as she draws the breath to curse Krista's name, she can't be defeated. She wield her hatred and crush Krista with it. TERRY Well, then, there we have it. Alix Maria Spezia against Krista Isadora at Anglemania, two Los Angeles girls going at it right here in Hollywood. That's going to be enormous! For the OAOAST, I'm Terry Taylor, hoping you enjoy the rest of the show

2/28/08! Once again this replaces HeldDOWN, aaaaaaaaand send everything to Tony! -do not call zhe opener!

I wonder what syndicated will look like now that many of its regulars have been press ganged into service on HD? ah what a fun emoticion, eh friends. plz enjoi this picture of finnish goaltender Antero Niittymäki

brawl for all niggas in the 98 had the same look as this cat, , when they saw that classic gimmick Rico De Janeiro, EMT Cash, Warrior, Mister Boricua, Mariachi, etc, brawling for it all? That's gospel that's gotta be brung to the masses. i shall commence brawling for all at once

for your post show entertainment please enjoy this reading of soulja boy

THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD The rapid-fire opening credits set to "Ultimate Victory" brings us to another edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN. Welcoming us to the Joe Louis arena is our trusted announce team, Michael Cole and Da Coach COLE Folks, thank you very much for joining us for another edition of the OAOAST's flagship program OAOAST HeldDOWN! Michael Cole joined as always by The Coach, and as usual we have a show for the history books. COACH Because we actually have a televised title match? COLE Yes! Amazing, isn't it? Sandman9000 puts his Heartland belt up against Reggie Lamont, who some of our fans have been checking out on Syndicated lately. Sandman may be the king of hardcore but he has his work cut out for him with the Jamaican. And speaking of Syndicated, Mad Cappa, fresh off dealing with Vinny Valentine on that very program, returns to the big show to team with Colombian Heat, PRL, and a mystery partner against Popick's Corporation. The Love Generation will also team with Jamie O'Hara and ThunderKid to battle Landon's gang of goons and henchmen. And in our mainevent Alix Maria Spezia returns from medical suspension to face the number one contenders for the One and Only World Tag Team Titles The Heavenly Rockers with a partner of Krista's choosing. All that and more from the historic Joe Louis Arena. Where I'm From by C-Murder hits, and Reggie Lamont makes his way through the curtains. COLE Heartland title on the line next here on HeldDOWN~! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the OAOAST Heartland championship! Making his way to the ring, the challenger, hailing from Laguna Beach, California, weighing in at 260 pounds...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREGGIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEE LAAAAAAAAAAAMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONT!!!!! COLE Big opportunity for Reggie Lamont, now residing in California by way of Jamaica, his first-ever shot at a singles title! Reggie climbs into the ring, and stands in the corner. COACH Reggie's a big, brutal man, but I he'll really know what brutal is after a few minutes with this guy! Suddenly, the lights dim, then begin going crazy, as if a virus has infected them, randomly jerking around the arena, frantically changing colors and turning off and on. It’s as if a bad anime scene has come to life. Loud scratching fills the airwave, as if a DJ has lost their mind and is attempting to break their equipment. In-between the rips, legitimate music kicks on, of a Southern, heavy metal nature. I ask you please just give us/ Five Minutes Alone.” The lights continue to dart and flash as the music leaves and the scratching continues, only to come back again, now of a hip-hop nature. White America/ I could be one of your kids.” The rap fades out and the scratching continues, at an even greater pace, until music comes back, now of a hardcore variety. Final Prayer/ Final prayer for the human race.” The music leaves once again and the scratches reach their apex, before the sound cuts out and the arena goes pitch black. A single spotlight appears on the stage, the only light in the darkened arena. People look towards the light, but see nothing. Then People = Shit by Slipknot hits. HERE WE GO AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER! A figure punches through the curtains, wearing torn black jeans, a sleeveless black t-shirt, and two bandanas, one over his face and the other over his head. His hands are taped up, with a red "X" on the back of each of them. COLE And there he is, the Heartland champion! BUFFER His opponent, hailing from South of Heaven...weighing in at 220 pounds...he is the OAOAST Heartland champion...SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNDMMMMMMAAAAAAAAA AAAANNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNE THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND!!!!! Sandman walks to the ring, then climbs in, and is immediately jumped by Reggie! *DING DING DING* COLE Here we go! COACH Well, Reggie's not backing down, you've got to give him that! Sandman and Reggie exchange blows on the mat, then roll to the outside and continue the slugfest. Sandman gets the better of the exchange. COACH But he doesn't want to take it to the floor if he doesn't have to! Reggie goes to the eyes, however, and grabs a side headlock, but is shoved into the ringpost! COLE Reggie Lamont sent into the steel ringpost! Sandman walks over towards Reggie, and picks him up, but Reggie counters an Irish whip, sending Sandman into the steel guardrail! Reggie quickly follows up with a bicycle kick, sending Sandman over the railing and into the crowd! COLE Reggie with a nice recovery, finished with a bicycle kick! Reggie follows Sandman into the crowd, then picks him up and slams him on the floor! Reggie then grabs a fan's beer, drinks part of it, and tosses it onto Sandman before stomping away! COACH And one of our great fans offering Reggie a little refreshment! COLE Sandman fights to his feet, and the two brawl further into the crowd. Reggie gets the better of it this time, and sets up a piledriver! COLE Piledriver coming up, perhaps! Sandman blocks twice, however, and backdrops Reggie onto the floor! COLE But it's Reggie who hits the concrete! Sandman kicks Reggie as he moves back towards the ring, then tosses him over the guardrail. Sandman then waits for Reggie to get to his feet, and executes a slingshot clothesline over the railing! COLE Great clothesline by Sandman! Sandman stomps away briefly on Reggie, then attempts an Irish whip, but Reggie reverses once again, sending him into the steel steps! COLE And Sandman once again tasting steel! Reggie catches his wind, then goes under the ring, finding a trash can, full of assorted goodies! COLE And Reggie Lamont now looking for some weapons! Reggie dumps the contents of the can into the ring, then grabs the can and brings it down across the back of Sandman! COLE Reggie Lamont looks really impressive so far, I have to say! Reggie rolls Sandman back into the ring, then grabs a small road sign which was in the can, and brings it down across Sandman's head! COACH DAY-UM~! Reggie brings the sign down again, then covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Reggie slides the can into mid-ring, then picks up Sandman, signaling for the end. COACH Reggie going for it early here! Reggie sets up the O.C. DRIVER~!!!!!11111 However, Sandman slips behind the back, and executes a release German suplex! COLE But it's countered into a nice suplex! Sandman then grabs the can as Reggie gets to his feet, and brings it down on his head! COACH Uh-oh...I don't like the looks of this! Sandman lays the can down, and executes a DDT onto the can! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Sandman follows with BOOT SCRAPES~! to the face of Reggie! COLE Sandman working on Reggie with those boot scrapes, one of his trademark maneuvers! Sandman picks up Reggie, and grabs him in a side headlock, but Reggie counters with a back suplex onto the trashcan! COLE And a very resourceful move there by Reggie Lamont! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Reggie picks up Sandman, and whips him into the ropes. Reggie drops down, and Sandman hops over, then Reggie gets to his feet and puts his head down, but Sandman stops and delivers a big kick to Reggie, then follows with a dropkick! Reggie goes down, then gets up at the ropes, where Sandman meets him with a Cactus clothesline! COLE Nice counter, and Reggie sent over to the floor! Sandman hangs on, and skins the cat back inside, then comes down on Reggie with a SOMERSAULT PLANCHA~! COLE And Sandman flying to the outside! Sandman follows Reggie out, and stomps away, then tosses him back inside. He then goes under the ring, and finds a BARBED WIRE CHAIR~! COACH Oh, no! COLE Sandman's got the big guns now! Sandman rolls back inside, and waits for Reggie to get to his feet. Sandman takes a big swing, but Reggie ducks, then quickly drops down and delivers a low blow! COLE But a counter by Reggie Lamont! Reggie then grabs the chair, and brings it down across the back of Sandman! COLE Reggie with a HUGE blast from that chair! Reggie picks up the chair again, and brings it down again as Sandman is on all fours! Reggie then holds the chair up in the air, as the crowd boos. Reggie covers... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! Reggie picks up Sandman, and executes a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Reggie tosses Sandman to the outside, then poses some more, drawing boos. Reggie then follows Sandman outside, and starts to pick apart the announce table. COACH Better watch out here, Cole! Reggie finishes the job, then rolls Sandman onto the table and follows him up. Reggie hammers away, then sets up a piledriver, but Sandman backdrops out! COACH OW! COLE Sandman with the counter, but the table didn't give! Sandman then waits on Reggie to get to his feet, and executes a URINAGE THROUGH THE ANNOUNCERS' TABLE~! COLE But it gave that time! Both men lay in the table wreckage for a few seconds, then Sandman picks Reggie up and tosses him back inside. He grabs the barbed wire chair, then scoops it under Reggie, lifting him off the mat, and scoop slamming him onto the chair! COLE And Reggie slammed right onto that chair! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! COACH But it's not enough yet, Cole! Sandman waits for Reggie to get to his feet, then hooks him and plants him with the ARCHANGEL'S WINGS~!!!!!11111 COACH But I think that is! 1... 2... 3!!! COLE And it is! Sandman his Heartland title! BUFFER The winner of the match...and STILL OAOAST Heartland champion...SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNDMMMMMMAAAAAAAAA AAAANNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNE THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND!!!!! COLE Reggie Lamont never recovered from going through our table! COACH Well, I think most people expected Sandman to retain here, but Reggie really showed a lot as a singles competitor tonight! COLE Yes indeed, we expect to see a lot more of Reggie Lamont, and a lot more of that guy, the Heartland champion, Sandman9000! Folks, please stick around because there's much more to come here tonight on HeldDOWN~! COMMERCIAL

OAOAST QUIZDOWN is brought to you by Q.Caboose's real name is: A.Rishi Saujani B.Nick Bradley C.Birbal Prakul D.Rishi Satayjit The Answer: A. I think. I actually forgot. HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT! Kurt Cobain and an awful wave of boos shouts the much despised grouping of Logan Mann, Holly-Wood, and Synth Esizer, onto the entrance structure, where they pay tribute to the music capital of the United States by boasting Anaheim Ducks jerseys. With Abdullah not at their side, its Synth who must act as the spiritual guide for the group. Closing his eyes and singing prayers to heaven's, he holds the Koran into the sky to ward off the venomous attitudes of the Detroit audience. Logan and Holly perform distinctly unholy acts behind him, gleefully fondling each other's bodies beneath the shower of yellow, red, and green spotlights. BUFFER Ladies it is now time for your mainevent tag match of the evening! Currently making their way to the ring...COLONEL ABULLAH NERDLY presents in association with HOLLY-WOOD the GREATEST rock 'n' wrestling band of AAAAALLLL-time and two time tag team champions of the woooorld... THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS! As they parade down the entrance ramp, Logan and Holly gaze towards the crowd with faces frozen into cocky sneers. Still using the Koran to protect against the vast hatred of the audience, Synth continues to spread the message of Prophet Abdullah to an unreceptive viewership. COLE Abdullah Nerdly, allegedly on a mission of peace back in his native land of Syria, which is why we don't see him tonight. And if it means he's off our television, maybe he ought to take a few more peace keeping missions. How about one into a bottomless pit? COACH How about some respect for a holy man. And, yo, Ned Blanchard, dropping mad scoops on bitches, before the show even began, because it'll be The Lonestar Gunslingers and The Heavenly Rockers in a sin city street fight at Leap Year Spectacular! COLE I appreciate another high quality match being added to the card, and I know The Gunslingers want to get their hands on The Rockers, but what kind of example does it set to give The Rockers a tag title shot they haven't earned after all their miserable actions towards Melody? To me not a very good one. The multicolor spotlights now swirl about the ring, almost encasing the rock n roll twosome within the squared circle. Through the shadows of the poorly lit arena, The Rockers move to opposite ropes at the middle of the ring. With tongues hanging out in defiance, they stand atop the second rope, powering their fists into the air to combat the wrath of the audience. BUFFER And the opponent.... I was lost And I'm still lost But I feel So much better Cause now I know It's not so far To were I go The hardest part is inside me I need to Just be To just be To just be To just be "YEAAAA" boooooooo God bless animated gifs for doing my entrance for me. I'm on the real lil niggas, so here's an entrance video for Alix, just uh ignore all the portoguese writing and that stuff about alessandra ambrosio. We only know alix! COLE Alix, still the bubbly, cheerful girl girl we all new, and with her new CD Beauty Crush coming out soon, as well as her debut single being released within the weeks, she has every reason to be. But, there's a certain dark cloud hanging over her head and that's the reports that she's a good girl gone bad. Many people, myself included, are a little bit worried when they watch a news report detailing a trip to the hospital from a drug overdose. COACH Fool ass mark, you will believe anything that's shoved down your throat. That shit was heat exhaustion, you know how hot it gets in them recording studio. You believing wild ass speculation from people out to get Alix. Enemies like Krista. You heard Moneymaker, this kind of thing happens all the time in these celebrity feuds. One side spreads rumors about the other and then the public jumps on it like some fools. Alix needs to drop some knowledge bout Krista, that's what's hood? COLE She did. She told Mackenzie Krista had a kid on the OAOAST roster, and now look where we are. Anyway, all I know is that Maggie Nerdly is laid up in Edmonton because of Alix, and what Alix did last week is something she wouldn't even entertain a few months ago. BUFFER From Los Angeles, California, being accompanied by Mackenzie DeCenzo she is The Enterprise's Head Of Technical Tactics Identifying Excellence aka HOTTIE....the Angle Award winning most entertaining character of the year, one half of the tag team of the year, and celebrity recording artist The Hollywood Bad Girl and Princess of Los Angeles, ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! COLE So the question remains, who on earth has Krista picked for Alix's partner? If Mackenzie's out here now, then it certainly can't be her. My only guess is Theodore Moneymaker, that's the only person Krista truly has a problem with. BUFFER And her partner... There's long dramatic silence which perfectly heightens the eager anticipation of the standing audience, and plays horribly on the frayed nerves of Mackenzie. Alix, on the hand, regards the proceedings with only a casual interest. Lie awake in bed at night And think about your life Do you want to be different? (Different...) Try to let go of the truth The battles of your youth ’Cause this is just a game "YEAAAA" And suddenly Alix's interest has evolved from something wildly different then the casual variety. Distraught, disgusted, despairing and distressed, is Mackenzie DeCenzo, as Jared Leto's adrenaline pumped vocals rob her of the ability to do anything but silently bemoan this ill luck. COLE How about this, Coach? Four time tag team champions, the Angle Award winner for tag team of the year, Chicks Over Dicks brought back into action by Krista Isadora Duncan! Folks set the TiVo for this one! The only way this could get better if it was happening in their hometown of Los Angeles at Anglemania! A tidal wave of stunningly beautiful black, white, Asian, and mixed race, girls, wash ashore on the entrance stage, all dressed to impress (and undress) in nurse outfits. Repeated flashes of blue, purple and pink spotlights lights showcase gyrating hips, flexing svelte bodies, and long legs that turn and twist with the tempo of the bouncing music From a raised camera angle it almost looks like fairies fluttering through the magical garden of Shakespeare's Mid summer night's dream. At the very center of this lush jungle of female beauty, stands the most captivating creature of all, Krista Isadora Duncan. The camera ventures up from glossy high heels, towards tanned legs that disappear into an ever-so-tight ever-so-short micro-mini black skirt, and full firm breasts that bulge out a rhinestone encrusted halter top. Suddenly Krista becomes the center of a small universe, fawned over by the array of lovely dancers. However, she puts on a mask of arrogance, smirking with indifference as she pushes them away, and heads down the ramp. BUFFER And from Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, a fitness queen, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, the star of the VH1 reality show the look of love, the Angle Award winning female personality of the year, The other half of the Angle Award winning tag team of the year, she is Miss California Krista Isaodra Duncan! It's a beautiful lie It's a perfect denial Such a beautiful lie to believe in So beautiful, beautiful it makes me COACH Explain this one, homey! Explain booze hound's behavior. COLE I have to assume she's trying to drive a wedge between Alix and Mackenzie. Even after all Alix has done to her, I'm sure she still sees good in her, and maybe this is trying to remind her of what they once had. But, most importantly of all its the first match Chicks Over Dicks has had together since November! In all the various pomp and celebrity circumstance behind these two, I think we forget they're very accomplished wrestlers. COACH Chicks Over Dicks is dead! You wanna talk about a big deal, talk about a pop star teaming with a fitness queen. Hillary Duff teaming with Jane Fonda is big. Or a pop star teaming with a reality show star. J-Lo teaming with Rob from Rob&Big is huge. Chicls Over Dicks is dead, focus on the here and now, homey. We get a feature recording artist tagging with a television superstar? That's what's up. The ramp has undergone a significant metamorphisis, its cold emotionless steel flooring is now carpeted by resplendent pink and red glitter that sparkles wonderfully into the night. In an occurence reminiscent of a Paris runway, fashion photographers and journalists, all dressed in the same black dress shirts and slacks, work tirelessly to capture the image of Krista strutting along this majestic décor with the grace and style of a supermodel. As wind machines playfully blow her flowing blond locks in front her entrancing face, the photographers trail her path creating a whimsical light show with the roving pink and purple spotlights. Once she reaches the end of the ramp, her hands fall to her slender hips, and her face tilts backwards, bathing in the wind machine's touch while she beams and arresting smirk into the camera. For Alix the entire scene is mindblowing. Almost unreal. Still shocked to see Krista approaching the ring, Alix can't even move a muscle. All she can do is shake her head, as apparently her mouth has been stunned into immobility as well. Mackenzie traces Krista's path across the ring, her eyes brimming with a passioned anger, but her fear to great an obstacle to allow her to attack this horrid witch. Krista notices the amount of tumultuous mental chaos her surprising arrival has yielded, but greets it with only the sweetest of smiles. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” COLE Folks, its Chicks Over Dicks against the team that ended their record holding fourth tag title reign, The Heavenly Rockers. What a mainevent, you wanna know why the OAOAST tag division is legendary, its because of matches and personalities like these four! Sit back and enjoy four of the very best. COACH Stop calling them Chicks Over Dicks! DING DING DING Possessing the look of an anxious tiger eager but too nervous to strike at his prey, Synth slowly circles Krista. Her approach to his buzzard like movement is casual, with most of her attention reserved for a disproving Mackenzie. But when Esizer finally collects the courage to strike out at her, she's well prepared to neutralize his approach with a lockup. As he's not the owner of any prime, or for that matter mediocre technical skills, the gorgeous babe is able to swiftly shift him into an arm wrench. Beneath his bushy bearded his mouth is sagged into a look of anguish as Krista painfully and sharply tugs and rips on his arm. With his free hand he exerts every effort to try and pull his limb out her harsh trap, but as she tugs him across the ring his attempts only curse him with greater anguish. Unable to bear the feeling that a five alarm blaze is being spread through his body, Synth worms his stubby fingers through her vibrant gold locks and then flings her backwards. His dominating strength brings to him an abrupt end to her hold and the pleasing sight of watching her tumble to the canvas. Holding onto a look of comically delighted satisfaction, Esizer struts across the ring, while Logan parades on the apron with his hands held in the air like a victorious presidential candidate. “Ah, the Heavenly Rockers, what a pleasure. A fat white Muslim, and a dude ripping off another dude who may or may not have fondled a young Stephanie McMahon. The OAOAST, where statutory rape happens.” Krista scoffs. Shamed at the dressing down of his undue taunting, Esizer steps towards Miss California for a second lockup. This time he comes adequately prepared, untroubled in pushing her towards a corner. Unfortunately, referee Billy Silverman brings an end to his offense, stepping between the well decorated tag champions, and calling for a clean break. Shockingly, Synth capitulates to Silverman's request, backing away through an overblown smile. Less shockingly is the hard shove he uses like a battering ram to Krista's chest. But, Synth's attack is absorbed and reduced to utterly painless by her voluptuous chest. While Synth is left to contemplate the wonders and nuances of the female figure, the surly vixen roars at him with an elbow strike. As the crowd heartily salutes the hold, Da Synthanator goes staggering back towards the center of the ring. Free for the moment of her sleazy rival, Krissy elevates her high heels onto the second rope. She turns her alluring supermodel features towards the army of photojournalist on the outside, and screams “Prenez une photo!” As they immortalize the female version of Michaelangelo's David (or so she thinks!), Krista shoots herself towards Synth for second rope fame asser. However, Synth recovered his strength in her moment of vanity, and welcomes her descent by catching onto her shoulders in preparation of a Samoan Drop. COLE Oh no! The audience is equally as panicked as the announcer and beg Krista to fight towards freedom. Its a wish she has zero problem in granting, as she simply shifts her limber body across his paunchy frame, and locks her ankles across his neck. Any pleasing view Synth had down her skirt is interrupted by the displeasing view of the world tumbling before him courtesy of a hurricanrana. Wide eyed with terror and on the verge of vomiting from nausea, the two time tag team champion unsteadily makes his way to his feet. But a swift swipe of five hundred dollar heels brutally squashes his ascension. The attack throws his neck from side to side, and sends him rolling across the ring to the fans immense joy. Krista, breathing bloody murder, closes the distance between her foe with three lanky steps. Reaching down and taking hold of his dandruff ridden hair, she grins, ready to pull him up for more punishment. Desperation leads him to fire his elbow upwards, and good fortune leads it into her ripped stomach. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” While his dazed enemy tries to avoid vomiting her Slim Fast Milkshake, The Sin City Brawler rushes towards the ropes, seeking to mow her down with a shoulder block on his return. But the Hollywood honey viciously and violently puts an end to his efforts with a graceful high flipping lariat! COLE Abdullah Abir Nerdly still believes that Krista is his real mother, so I'm wondering what side he's on in this match? COACH Abdullah Abir is on the side of peace, unity, and goodwill towards man. Except for the Jewish ones. Which Krista sadly happens to be. Though the aerial attack doesn't floor the music man, it does push him into the jumbled tentacles of the ring ropes. Not wishing to give him a moment to fight for his freedom, the busty beauty darts forward, looking to blast him into the next time zone. However, Da Synthmeister, through the aid of Mackenzie works his way free to turn Krista's advance into a potentially deadly back body drop. The audience's breath remains locked in their throat, as their beloved heroine looks to meet a messy end. But Krissy's gymnast worthy agility allows her a flawless landing on the ring apron, and a chance for her to mockingly say “Told ya so!”. Not partaking in the fans joy, a suddenly furious Synth blindly charges her position. But Miss California shoots her knee through the cables to halt his attack. Stricken with agony, Eszier is left doubled over and helpless. Krista takes quick advantage of his momentary confusion; she flings herself back into the squared circle, and tries to drag him down with a sunset flip! The crowd readies themselves to count along with another pin, but are kept quiet once Synth's hands are caught by Mackenize. COLE That is just ridiculous! Absolutely ridiculous! She's blatantly aiding the other team. I have never in my life seen anything like that. And before you say anything, Mackenzie made the stipulation where Krista could pick Alix's partner. This is her fault! Beads of sweat rocket off Krista's face as she exerts a herculean effort to overcome the resistance of her two rivals. The crowd starts to sing her name, trying to will her the strength to achieve her goal. But the Louisiana native clutches onto the ropes for dear life, making Krista's efforts wasted ones. Even worse, he soon goes on the offense and drills a punch directly towards her face. Not wishing to have her nose be splattered across the ring, she slides through the brawler's legs, narrowly avoiding his fist! Synth recoils in astounding pain, hurling vulgarities deep into the night. But he quickly channels his anguish into anger, and sends a side kick screeching towards Krista! But the fitness queen latches onto his boot and promptly shuttles it down to the canvas. Synth is thrown slightly off balance by Krista's counter and his left defense when her arm wraps like a boa constrictor around his neck. His cries of pain are stifled by her firm grip as she bridges him backwards with the Blonds Never Pay a Cover (Side Effect). “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Less impressed by Krista's achievements is Alix, who reads a magazine with passing interest on the apron, “Oh my god, check this out! Now they're saying chewing tobacco's bad for you!” “Now?! What are you reading?” Mackenzie wonders. “Readers Digest from 1982. Yeah, stole it from the doctor's office. You make me wait six minutes past my appointment time, I steal your outdated fluff piece magazines and your patients' medical records.” Nursing a sore neck, Esizer somehow manages to struggle to his fight. But his bravery isn't well rewarded; Krista latches onto his wrist and flings him towards a neutral corner. His back smashes off the turnbuckles, bringing out a despairing gasp from his lips, and drawing red welts onto his back. His situation grows even more dire when he witnesses Krista storming him like a Jim Beam powered bat out of hell. Desperate to avoid her, he madly dives out of the way, and prays she'll splatter herself onto the pads. No such luck is gifted to him as the agile covergirl lands with both heels on the pads. This seems to be celebration worthy for Krista, and she delights her fans by playfully tossing her hair. Foolishly, Holly tries her hand at intimidating Krista, shaking her fists angrily at the amused Angle Award winner , “Hey, bitch, you wanna go toe to toe? You think I'm joking? What does this look say to you, huh?” “Hi, welcome to Fudruckers! Table for two? For thirty dollars and a bag of blow I'll do you in the alley after my shift is over.” Though Holly is throughly embarrassed, Synth is recovered enough to make a charge towards Krista. But, the foxy mama is well prepared for his attack, and her soaring body greets his arrival with a corckscrew moonsault. Shocked speechless with horror, Synth is pumelled back to the canvas where the referee counts the ensuing pinfall.. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! But, Synth pulls his shoulders off the canvas at the last possible microsecond. “Two things I'm not hearing, a three count, and an apology from Mackenzie to the OAOAST fans for forcing the cancellation of two house shows this weekend due to her spreading of crabs.” Though annoyed with the absence of an easy victory, Krista stills her qualms long enough to lead Esizer off the canvas. Keeping him subdued by way of a front facelock, she leads him towards her corner where ex-girlfriend Alix Maria Spezia awaits with a look of chilling disdain. Instantly the fans are abuzz, their intrigue piqued to amazingly levels by what's normally a routine interaction. Frustrated with Krista and the fans who infuse the proceedings with drama, Alix's face twists with an angered scowl. But, left with no other choices, Alix begrudgingly meets Krista's hand with her's. Her arrival generates an enormous if not altogether confusing response, there's a huge outpouring of cheers that's weakly faced down by a small but audible booing. COLE Well, it looks like Alix is ready to cooperate with Krista for the time being, which I don't think can be too pleasing to Mackenzie. Smiling innocently in the face of such an emotionally charged situation, Krista invites her former lady love into a double team. Alix agrees quickly to avoid further awkwardness, and together they chuck Esizer into the ropes. As he returns, Krista sprawls out onto the canvas, requiring the rocker to leap over her. This defensive tactic prevents him from executing another one, and he's forced to bear the full anguish of Alix's GoGo boots slashing through his face. “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” The chant that would've once drew a smile from The Hollywood Bad Girl, inherits only a gruff frown, as she hastily hurries Synth off the canvas. But her preoccupation with the annoying audience comes with pitfalls as Esizer capitalizes on it and stuns her with a forearm smash to her bare stomach. Doubled over in misery by the stunning attack, she's then brought to her knees when a second forearm lands upon her back with concussive force. Apparently those two offensive moves are enough to quench Synth's thirst for achievement and he beats a hasty retreat to his corner to bring Logan Mann into the affair. “BOOOOOOOOO!” “The Macho Macho Mann sees your boos and raises you this,” Logan flips the aggravating Detroiters a middle finger, which only intensifies their jeers. Logan scampers across the ring eager to blast Alix's head from neck with a thrust kick. But, a marginally recovered Alix catches hold of his fast approaching boot. Despite Logan's panicked filled efforts to manifest an enziguri, the princess of Los Angeles afflicts him with speedy 360 twirl. Although pushed to the edge of vomiting, Mann still has the wits about him to effort an elbow strike. Unfortunately his arm moves much to slowly, and Alix's pretty pink shoes casually chop out his knees, swiping him to the mat. With Logan down and out, Alix stands at his side and puts her big ol booty on duty. Sensually her lush BUTT gyrates sways from side to side, providing a sumptuous treat of carnal extravagance for the audience. Its a delectable delight they're eager to savor, and camera flashes preserve the tasty pleasure of her jiggling cheeks. Once her BUTT is done bouncing the audience into seventh heaven, Alix flips backwards with a moonsault. ONE! TWO! Mann kicks out! Logan rises to his feet under his own willpower, but pays for this act of courage through a savage knife edge chop. The strike lands with such incredible power that it drops the ex-champion to his knees and leaves his chocolate colored skin a shade of deep maroon. Not at all sympathetic to his suffering, Alix, through the coarse strands of his hair, guides him away from the canvas. Her arm snakes around his head into a front facelock for the early stages of a DDT. But that's a move Logan is loathe to incur and with a mighty shout he shoves her across the ring into her corner. Still latching onto his neck, the pop star has plans on crushing his skull with a tornado DDT. But, orders of “Tag me!” from Krista seem to road block these goals. “And why should I do that?” Alix rebuts. “Because I said so, dummy.” “Krista, if I listened to every persuasive argument made to me, I'd be backstage having a threesome with Jumbo and Connie Chung.” Seeing little point in entertaining Alix's misgivings, Krista slaps her on the back to facilitate a tag. While Alix sourly protests the interference, her partner tumbles herself over the ropes. As he descends towards the mat, her arms catch Logan's leather pants, and soon the MACHO Macho Mann is being sunk to the canvas with a sunset flip. The crowd and referee count the fall... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! But a crafty swipe of the boot from Alix yanks Mann free of the jaws of defeat. Masking herself in a cloak of innocence, Alix snidely remarks, “Massah I sho am sorry! Please don't whip me in the shed tanight, Massah. Ah promise ah be good, ah's even dance fo you, massah!” Forced for the moment to ignore Alix's trifiling behavior, Krista guides Mann to his feet. But now upright, Mann reclaims some of his strength, and uses it to strike her ribcage with his elbow. Having scored a measure of damage of that hold, he succeeds in tightening the SoCal beauty into a side headlock. But he isn't able to contain Miss California for long, however, and she shoves him into the ring ropes. His return though fetches him a bit of success, and he's able to knock her over with running knee strike. After briefly headbanging, the rock n wrestling icon then darts towards the ropes, seeking to plant an elbow onto her face as he nears her. However, once he reaches his destination, she rolls towards him, attempting to trip him over. Logan has enough ring awareness to leap over her and continue his journey towards the ropes. Unfortunately, Krista greets his latest return with a leg lariat. While Synth bemoans his partner's ineffectiveness, Krissy once again plays to her own beauty, tossing and fluffing her gorgeous golden locks as though she were in the middle of a Vidal Sassoon commercial. COLE Well, we saw Logan few weeks ago wonder if he's Krista's son, and right now he's not matching up terribly well with his would-be mother. Child abuse at its worst! Despite the sudden blurring of his vision, Mann is able step upright under his own power. But Miss California quickly seizes control of him, grasping onto his thick dreadlocks and leading him towards a vacant corner. When the pair arrives at their destination, she giddily smashes her foe's face into the steel turnbuckles. The attack shoots tremors of pain throughout his body, and he staggers backwards, nursing his wounded visage. Consumed by the scorching duress, Mann scarcely notices the Hollywood covergirl clambering atop the second rope. Before her aerial assault can do harm to his physical welfare, her caustic words do irreparable damage to his fragile ego, “Ah, Logan Mann, you stare boring, shitty wrestling in the face every Thursday and say...hey, don't I know you?” “LOGAN WOMANN! LOGAN WOMANN! LOGAN WOMANN!” the fans sing, and actually think they've uncovered some clever nugget of social commentary. Somehow those comments lights flames of anger within Logan's mind, and seeing red, he charges Krista. But his vision of crimson is quickly replaced by the crimson of blood as Kris nullifies his attack with a second rope dropkick! While the audience loudly salutes Krista's effortless displays of dominance, Holly-Wood ventures onto the apron, desperately looking to turn the fortunes for her husband's team. “Hey, you wanna throw down and go, bitch?” Holly cries. “Oh, honey, you're a fifty seven year old post-op transsexual. Act your age missy. Or mister. Can't really tell after the surgery.” SYNTH “Synth!” “You got dem big ol Harry and the Henderson arms, Bellichick should've had you out there blocking Osi Umenyiora! Don't act like po' folk don't be doing no pull ups on your arms cause they can't afford no gym. Praise be to Allah!” Krista is now able to return herself to the task of reducing Logan into a bloody wreck. But, Mann is shockingly back on his feet, and exhibits his impressive strength by volleying knee strikes into her sculpted stomach. With Krista dazed into submission by the unexpected attacks, Logan is able to use her breastacular top as a leash to guide her towards his corner. There he meets the outstretched hand of Synth Esizer, drawing a large number off boos from the capacity crowd. But the fans' mood is instantly improved when, Krista stuns Esizer by trapping him with an arm wringer. Agonized by the sudden sting in his limb, Esizer moves to rid himself of her troublesome hooks. He uses his raw power to drive her across the squared circle, but his efforts yield nothing in the way of freedom. Thus he backs her body into the ropes, in hopes of freeing himself with an Irish whip. But not only does the femme fatale retain her grip, she also springs into the sky, in order to snap his shoulder from it's socket with a tornado single arm ddt! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” the fans chant, their voices competing for real estate with the bellowing of the aggrieved rock n wrestling superstar. Invited into the ring by his partner's tortured howls, Mann lobs a roaring elbow towards the reality star. However, she attempts to put off his manic attempt by flashing a superkick. The Vegas native screeches his charge to an abrupt halt, and uses his free arm to catch onto her attacking boot. Snarling with animal ferocity, Mann spins her around, believing he'll be able to decimate her with a bulldog . Yet, the beautiful Californian moves much to quickly for her methodical foe, and she scrambles his brains with a gorgeous pele kick! As the capacity crowd bleats her name, Krissy responds to their love by paying tribute to the original blond bombshell, Marilyn Monroe, by mimicking her "Updraft" pose, placing her hand to the middle of her skirt, crossing her knees, and flashing an irresistibly embarrassed smile into the camera. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Fully annoyed with Krissy's comedic antics, Mann bounces off the ropes, and snags his arm across her head. Before she can even realize the unfortunate situation she's placed under, his latest bulldog effort is driving her forward to the mats. Though she lands with gruesome impact, the pain isn't enough to keep her grounded, and she promptly scrambles upright. Problematically, she finds herself under constant from a bevy of knife edge chops that leave her busty chest bouncing like twin basketballs. The ceaseless torrent of strikes push Krissy dangerously close to The Rocker's corner. But before Logan can fully trap her within his base, Krista ends his round of chops by smashing a basement dropkick into his knee. The strike sends the cussing and grousing warrior hobbling away in misery. COLE I almost wonder how eager is Alix to get back in the ring. Krista basically brought her in and sent her out, and is handling The Rockers all on her own. Gnashing his teeth, and nursing his knee, Mann returns his gaze to Krista, just in time to see her darting across the ring towards his location. His reflexes are up to the challenge of besting Krissy, as he effortlessly snatches the babe off the ground and carries her into a neutral corner . Krista is jammed against the turnbuckles, where she tries to regain her rapidly fleeting breath. But Mann keeps his attack steady like a metronome, and launches her towards the opposite corner with an irish whip. Krissy smacks against the pads, then staggers towards the center of the ring, the salty combination of sweat and tears in her blue eyes eyes making it impossible to see more then a few inches in front of her face. So it comes as a tremendous surprise when Logan upends her with a back body drop. The physical shock of the move is horrendous and she rests on the mat spasming in pain. Sadly, her worries expand tenfold, as Logan grabs onto her right leg, then slowly and methodically, begins to twist the whimpering champion into a single leg crab. COACH Now The Rockers is feeling that flow. Gunslingers, beware, if they can do this to four time tag team champions what can they do to you and your fluke reign? COLE He's using a single crab. That's his second actual offensive attack and we're already seven minutes into the match. Krista immediately exerts a mighty effort to free herself from the vice grip, but it's to no avail. The rock n wrestling god leans backwards, burdening the fitness queen with a scourge of pressure, and taking a sadistic pleasure in each one of her terrified screams. As salty tears clog her vision, Krista extends her hands towards the ring cables. But their salivation is maddeningly far away, and the distance only grows larger with each passing second. Ever ready to take up the support of their girl, the spectators chant, “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” “Ring the bell, Silverman! Ring that damn bell right now!” Mann demands. Mann roots his onyx colored boots into the canvas, making Krista's trek towards the ropes a monstrous ordeal. However, Krista perseveres through the obstacles, and expends every ounce of physical strength to reach those cables. Despite his staunch resistance to her efforts, Mann involuntarily finds himself on slow journey towards the cables. To counteract her rebellion, he savagely increases the pressure on his hold. But even with the unholy amount of screaming and wailing that spews from her body, her determined path refuses to be halted. The gap between Krista's trembling hand and the orange ring ropes narrows to a mere inches, a fact that propels beads of sweat from the brow of the nervous Mann. Unwilling to wait until she inevitably grips onto the cables, Mann calls sudden end to his submission efforts. Turning his mind to more smash mouth tactics, he takes hold of her mini skirt and guides her off the canvas. But its there his moment on the attack draws to a close as Krissy stuns him with a jawbreaker. Grasping onto a now bleeding mouth, Mann stumbles backwards, his terrified screams seeping through his fingers. With Logan preoccupied by his sizable anguish, Krista is offered the freedom to permit Alix back into the bout. While its a move that thrills the vast majority of the audience, Alix shows no such displays of gratitude, remarking “Gee golly wolly whiz massah, you sure am nice to us slaves! Maybe afterwards Ah bob fo' some fried chicken fo' you and yo white friends, massah!” Dismissing Krista with an abhorring sneer, Alix gently glides through the ropes. But this graceful entrance masks a murderous intent, one that manifests itself when she makes a sudden dash for an apron based Esizer. Clearly spotting Alix's arrival, Esizer inexplicably hops into the air. This horrible choice of strategy proves to be costly as The Princess of Los Angeles shoots him out the air with nothing more then a simple swipe of his boots. Crashed onto apron, Synth lies face down, his cries of horror muffled by canvas and roaring crowd alike. Seeking to defend his partner's honor, as well as curtail Alix's runaway train of momentum, Logan rampages towards the brunette honey. But she defends against his strike by jumping onto the third rope and flying back at him with a splendid lionsault press! He tries to glide out the way, but brings himself into line of fire for an inverted face lock that Alix easily morphs into the Make Love Not Babies(Inverted DDT!) “LET'S GO ALIX!” “WE WANT KRISTA!” “LET'S GO ALIX!” With stunning quickness Mann gets to his feet, and over on the apron, Esizer does the same. Operating in unspoken concert, they both work together to put down their troublesome rival. As Logan distracts her with piddling jabs, Synth quickly scurries atop the turnbuckle. Once his bandmate has properly positioned himself on his perch, Logan backs away to let Synth's handiwork that hold. Unfortunately Synth's unfortunate cry of “ROCK N WRESTLING FOREVAAAAA, MOTHAFUCKAS!” serves as a precursor to his arrival, and the pop starlet ducks beneath his descending arm. Logan suffers a far worse fate then she and is instantly capsized by Synth's attack. More annoyed with Alix's avoidance then with the fact he nearly decapitated Logan, Synth seeks an inkling of revenge with a diving shoulder block. But, again Alix side steps the attack and Esizer is left to land across the muscular frame of his partner. “Wow! Here's a plan for ya, Synthy. Call my chick Dorthy, tell her to meet ya at the yellow brick road, when you get to the end there will be a guy standing there. Be sure to ask him for a friggin' brain, loser!” Disgusted with Alix's mocking, Mann stands up with the intent on making her pay for her comedic antics with a clubbing forearm. But Ally ices his attacking furor by grabbing onto his descending limb, lacing her lovely legs between his and driving him into the canvas with the True Life:I just got beat up by a girl (STO)! No sooner then Mann smacks against the mat does his partner reintroduce himself into the fracas, bearing down on Ally with a second rope axe handle smash. But the ferocious tiger is turned into a docile pussycat by Alix who nearly knocks his head off with a dropsault Dazed and mortally wounded by the thunderous kick, Esizer rolls his carcass out the ring, leaving Logan to fend for himself. “LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!” One fan in particular is overly enraptured with Alix's easy disposal of the formidable tag team, and tosses her a beach towel as a present. “Woah, dude, bitchin! A rainbow flag beach towel! This will totally come in handy when I want people from Mars to know I'm gay.” The beach towel actually emerges as a far more useful tool then Alix's sarcasm would've led us to believe. Alix enlists it as a blindfold tossing it on top Logan Mann's head and shrouding the two time tag champion in frightening darkness. Though the obvious course of action is to just take the beach towel off, Logan is apparently not prone to bouts of common sense, and promptly begins rolling across the canvas and lamenting the fact that he's now blind. ALIX ...... ...... Touched by a smattering of pity for Logan's disgraceful plight, Alix dejectedly removes the beach towel. Her good will ends with the gift of sight, though, now replaced by the sadistic stripping of his ability to breathe. She nooses the towel around his neck, while shifting her body to face away from his. As his previously emotive face becomes void of any color and life, Alix drops to one knee. Violently, Mann is pulled down with her, his terrible downfall halted only when his back cracks off the edge of her shoulders. The intensity of the attack evokes vocal oooohs and ahhhhhs from the fanbase, and sharp screams from Logan. “LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!” COLE You got to admit Coach, this is pretty good preparation for a Sin City Street fight. COACH No it isn't! Not at all! There aren't any homocentric beach towels in Sin City Street Fights and that should be an automatic disqualification in this match! Similar to his partner, a woozy Mann begins a hasty escape towards the outside. But the Hollywood Bad Girl isn't as willing to let him escape as she was Synth and he only gets as far as the ring apron before her hands snag his dreads and drag him upright. She lays him back first across the second rope, and pelts his chest with overhand chops to further subdue him. “Dude, Logan, I just wanna say, bro, this is gonna hurt me way, way, way, more then it hurts you. For real!” “Honestly?” “No, but its that kind of well acted outpouring of fake sympathy that makes me Amercia's Sweetheart, and the front runner for the lead role in the Joe Louis bio pic.” “Joe Louis was black! And a man!” “Uh-huh, what's your point?” Both gender and race confused, Alix she makes her way up the turnbuckles. The now standing crowd screams with eagerness for what's sure to be a breath taking move. ALIX And this Heavenly Rockers is how we real musicians rock the fuck out, Miss Spezia certainly doesn't disappoint her legion of adoring fans, launching herself off the top rope with a shooting star press. Still stuck on the ropes, Logan isn't even able to cover up as the tanned beach bunny crashes towards his face. Her petite body cuts right through his muscular neck, and the force of her amazing strike flings him off the ropes and into the ring. “Whoooo that felt even better then grinding against the door knob in the women's locker room!” She remarks. While Logan gasps for the air that's all but abandoned him, she covers his body with a lateral press. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO CROWD THREE And finally, Synth Esizer makes a return to the ring, breaking up the pinfall with a knee drop. “Maa shaa Allaaaaaaaah!”Synth sings, holding his hands together in prayer. Esizer's reappearance in the contest is short lived, however,as the moment he stands up to deliver a beating to Alix, Krista delivers him to the outside mats by knocking him over the ropes with a Triple H style knee lift. While the crowd may be deliriously overjoyed at Krista's latest attack, Alix can't manage herself to partake in their pleasure. This does not go unnoticed by the ever observant Krista. “Awww, honey, not happy to see me? “Yeah, well, put yourself in my position right now...” “I'd love to, honey, but I don't exactly have the time to cut out my heart and sell my soul to devil as you've done. Perhaps if I could somehow get pictures of me snorting an eight ball of coke spread to every site on the Internet, except, surprisingly, cokewhores.com, I could understand.” Pulling Alix away from Krista's bothersome comments is Logan, who twirls a discus punch towards her cute face. But the speedy lady slips bellow his outstretched arm, and pops up behind him. With fist clenched for a replay of that same failed strike, he whirls around once more. But Alix stymies his efforts again, this time by peppering his chest up with a trilogy of knife edge chops. Each strike does a beautiful job of ripping away at his dark skin, but he still succeeds in brushing the damage aside and landing a harsh knee into her bare stomach. Another knee follows, and Mann acquires very tenuous control on this match. He let's her go free, and she crawls to a neutral corner, nursing her stomach, moaning pain, and wondering how's she going to regain the advantage over this terrible fiend. “LOGAN SUCKS! LOGAN SUCKS! LOGAN SUCKS!” “If you went down on your dog in the last two weeks chant Logan sucks!” COLE Logan sucks! Logan sucks! Logan celebrates his silencing of the audience by smashing his forearm into Alix's bare back. The pain from that single strike is so immense that Alix has to turn to face him, just to protect her now seriously wounded back. Problematically this leaves her open to what ever strike Logan's vile mind can concoct. Rather then try anything fancy, he simply whips her towards the ropes. This proves to be an amazingly boneheaded blunder, as upon her return Alix slides her smooth legs into him for a wheel barrel set up. She then elevates her body towards his head, and snares her arm around his neck for a flashy bulldog. But her high risk move never materializes in reality, thanks to Mann grabbing hold of her slender waist her to the canvas. Alix's hands immediately go up to attend to the burning pain in her face, but their soft touch is quickly replaced by the rough feel of Mann's skin as he locks her into a crossface! The agony brought on by the hold builds at an alarming rate, and Alix begins weeping with sincerity, unsure of how much of this torturous hold she'll be able to withstand. Stuck in the center of the ring, the ropes appear so distant they might as well be in on an other continent. Thus she sadly raises her hand to submit to the lethal submission hold and award The Rockers with a key victory. COLE Could this be all for Alix Spezia? Could The Rockers have a key victory over the girls from the city of angels? But Krista drives her point of her boot into Mann's skull, causing him to involuntarily break the hold. Incensed over Krissy denying his team an important win, Synth reaches into the ring and drags her to the outside where he plans on mangling her face with an assist from the steel guardrail. But, Krista delays his ill intent with a guilt inducing lecture. “You, you fake rockstars are all alike. You think your so much better then the rest of us because of your fake money, but I and the lower class, have something you'll never have. Pride. Pride in my values. Pride in having friends not possessions. Pride in measuring my accomplishments in love given not dollars spent. Pride in....eh, fuck it, I'm just gonna superkick you.” Acting upon her promise, Miss California's heel shreds through Synth's face like a machete, and he's sunk to the mats where the cheers of the sold out audience swell above him. Being the sweet soul that she is, Krista pulls her compact mirror out of her pocket and holds it up to Synth's face so he can see just how “great” his remodeled nose looks. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Meanwhile, Logan has Miss Spezia prepped for a basic body slam. But the elementary hold turns into a complex mess for the Macho Macho Mann when Alix's baby oil soaked body slips out of his clutches and lands behind him. Before Mann is even made aware of the fact that he's minus one cute Latina, her shoes are dropkicking him towards the ropes. Never the most graceful OAOAST superstar, Logan succeeds in tripping over his own two feet, and deposits himself onto the second. His klutzy loss is actually Alix's gain, because she believes that he's in the perfect position to be eradicated by one of her famous high risk attacks. The Princess of Los Angeles charges towards her vulnerable foe and leaps through the second rope, while latching onto the third and second cable to maintain her precious balance. She uses her generated momentum to swing back towards Mann, seeking to strike him with the 619, or 310 in her case. Perhaps a better name in this particular instance would be “failed attempt” because Mann successfully catches her twirling body within his thickly muscled arms. While the crowd jeers his otherwise impressive counter, he backs away from the ropes, scanning his brain for a devastating move to unleash on helpless Alix. No one will ever know what his pea sized mind came up with, because Krista dismounts her perch on the top rope and drives a missile dropkick into his forehead! “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” sing the fans lost in a haze of euphoric delirium. Mackenzie stands on the outside, besieged with furor at the fans worsening of this miserable situation. Krista's attack “blesses” him with an excruciatingly miserable headache, and more importantly pushes he and Alix into a lateral press. Silverman makes the count! CROWD ONE CROWD TWO But Mann throws his shoulder up well before the three count is made. Shifting his focus away from the downed competitor, Silverman beseeches Kris to depart the ring so that some semblance of order can be granted to this contest. Needless to say Krista would prefer to continue the repeated double teaming of her hapless rival, and an argument ensues. While Krista fights a losing verbal battle with the official, her one time lover has taken position on the top turnbuckle. An excited buzz comes from the many fans who expect Alix to enchant them with one of her many dazzling displays of aerial technique. But rather then utilize a shooting star press, or a 450 splash or even a friggin' fist drop, Alix chooses to remain on her pulpit and offer her sorrows over Romeo's slaying of Tybalt, “Shall I speak ill of him that is my husband? Ah, poor my lord, what tongue shall smooth thy name. When I, thy three-hours wife, have mangled it?” “Alix, dear, maybe that's not such a good idea right now!” Krista frantically suggests, having taking notice of Mann's revival. “Like, what do you know?!” “I was right about the whole washing machines aren't mythic inventions of the creators of Jimmy Neutron, wasn't I?” “Yeah, what a ripoff! Its a lot more fun just to give the black lady behind the counter at the laundromat a quarter to wash my thong while I'm still in it!” The troubling sight of Logan Mann, darting across the ring, confirms Krista's caution. The Hollywood Bad Girl readies herself to meet his charge with a ruinous aerial counterattack. But he moves with preternatural speed and by the time she properly balances herself, he's joining her at the height of the ring post. She stages a defense of her position, but Mann's stunning strength renders her efforts pointless, and he propels her through the sky with a top rope arm drag! Alix plummets into the canvas, scarcely able to do more then sob in misery and pray that the powerful move didn't manage to fracture any of her bones. To make matters worse for her team, by the time Silverman is finally able to convince Krista to leave the ring, Synth darts to position and pushes her from the apron. She slams into the guardrail, where concerned fans instantly begin patting her on the back and make kind hearted efforts to nurse her back to health. Her pride seems more hurt then any part of her body, and she dedicates her time on the outside not to thanking her admires for their support, but to yelling “ I told you so, asshole!” at an apologetic referee. “ROCKERS SUCK! ROCKERS SUCK!” Logan rips Alix's sore bones off the canvas and then throws her towards a vacant corner. Her back brutally crashes into the ringposts, drawing out soft gurgles of pain from her throat. He eyes her whimpering figure, and sniffs the scent of the blood filling the water. Thus he darts towards the helpless girl, preparing to devour her with a corner splash. But Alix gathers the requisite energy to dive swing her body through the ropes towards the safety of the ring apron. This crafty counter leaves Logan's chiseled chest to be mangled by the ringposts, a sight that greatly pleases the audience. He shouts loudly and painfully in a combination of anger and torment, as weakened legs carry him back to the center of the ring. The SoCal cutie affords him little chance to recuperate as her spring boarding body unfurls in front of him with a 450 splash. She sheers him apart like a pink an black lightening bolt, spearing him right through the chest, and driving him to the canvas. “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” Ally bounces off the ropes, soaring into the air upon returning to the now standing Mann. She arcs forward, and slashes his face with the heel of her fancy boot. Agony riddles his ringing skull, and he slowly topples backwards only seconds before The Hollywood Bad Girl darts towards the next set of ropes. She elevates to the top cable, and uses it as a launching pad to project her lionsaulting body at her floored rival. But Logan wisely drags his body away from his descending opponent. To the audience's and Mackenzie's relief, Alix avoids a catastrophic crash into the mats, by making an off-balance landing on her feet. She teeters backwards, and has to make an effort to get her wobbly frame under control. Problematically, Mann is pursuing her like a rabid hell hound. He flattens her with a diving lariat that brings forth heart wrenched gasps of despair from the alarmed spectators. Pleased with that bit of damage, Logan drapes his arm across her chest for a pinfall... ONE! TWO! But, Krista ends the pinfall with well timed elbow drop, and Logan's face empties in despair. Equally distressed is Mackenzie, who continues to despair over Krista's solid teamwork with her estranged ex. Latching onto Alix's teeny-tiny booty shorts, a grousing Mann drags her towards her feet. Ally mounts an admirable punch filled rebellion against his clutches, but he easily snuffs out her fire with the point of his elbow placed squarely into her back. With the adorable starlet temporally subdued , Mann foists her high into the sky in a vertical suplex positon. He twirls around, showcasing his prey to the furious audience, increasing their rage with each one of his contemptuous smirks. Finally he lets her go free, unceremoniously dumping her backwards to the canvas. The drop from the peak of the move to the ring floor is a significant one, and leaves her short of breath and in a great deal of agony. Her chocolate hair falls in front of her eyes, shielding a face that's sagged with exhaustion by Logan's high impact attacks. She does however luck into a moment for recovery, as Logan retreats to his corner to grant Synth entry into the affair. Holly doesn't appear overly enamored with the prospects of Synth being given the reigns to the bout, and openly chastises Logan for tagging “That chubby dope” back into the contest. Synth keeps things on the calm, suavely informing his comrade's better half that he “has it in the bag”. This bold assertion looks to be false when the clothesline he hurls at a standing Alix is swiftly evaded. But he promptly redeems himself by horse whipping Alix across the jaw with a back kick. Face blanked by the thunderous strike, the starlet timbers backwards. She isn't afford a single second to lick her wounds, as the moment her body bounces off the canvas, Synth is on top of it with a lateral press. ONE! TWO! But Krista ruins the pivotal fall with an elbow drop, causing cheers to pour down from the rafters, and insults to stream from the mouth of Holly. Equally as perturbed by the injustice, Synth takes hold of Alix's pink top, and roughly traps her between his powerful thighs. His arms snap around her thin waist, the sting of the squeeze feeling worse then even barbwire. The expression of pain on her face shortly gives way to the look of horror as he tries to raise her for a pile driver. Sweaty and out of breath, she wildly kicks her legs, barely managing to set her GoGo boots back down to the mat. But her freedom is short lived, as Synth, cheeks flush in angered red, merely tightens his hold and successfully lifts her onto his broad shoulders. The Hollywood Bad Girl isn't ready to concede defeat to her rival though, and with a huge burst of strength laces her soft legs around his neck, preparing to stage a reversal. Her planned hurricana does not succeed without first navigating rough waters, as Esizer fights with every bit of power in his body to powerbomb her away. After a frantic struggle with her foe, Ally succeeds in peeling backwards to flip Synth head over heels with a crowd popping hurricanrana! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” Alix understands she won't succeed in pinning Synth with any sort of flashy aerial attacks, and thus she stands up before Silverman can count a pin. However, there's no reprieve for Synth as she now attempts to crush his bearded face into mush with a double stomp! Just like her body, her rising spirits plummet downwards, when he rushes his face out of the collision course. Wishing to take advantage of her miss, Synth hurriedly scampers upright. There he flashes his boots forward to smash a dropkick into the side of her head. Her dizzied head lolls to a side, and her vision swirls into a chaotic blur. Esizer uses her moment of nausea and confusion to make a quick tag with Logan Mann. After entering the ring, Logan goes directly for a crucial pinfall... ONE! TWO! Alix delays defeat just a little bit longer by kicking out, bringing a grand cry of happiness from the audience. Unfortunately there is no rest for her weary bones, and Mann grabs hold of her tube top and hauls her to her feet. He lathers her with an ensemble of knife edge chops, each beating her ample chest like a drum, causing Alix to sing sorrowful blues. Mann then fires the angle award winner to the corner, and trails her path with a clothesline. Right as the immense pain of that attack settles on her body, her assailant promptly begins ripping into her midsection with stomps. The blows threaten to shred apart her golden brown skin, and leave droplets of blood in its place. Unwilling to endure that fate, Alix courageously battles back against her assailant, peppering his skull with elbow smashes. Though Logan is able to brave her intense counterattack for several seconds, eventually it becomes to much to bear and he's backed towards the middle of the ring. There he collects his bearings, and adjusts strategy, now putting himself off the ropes for a running neckbreaker. But his planned move never comes to pass as the Princess of Los Angeles batters him with a standing enziguri! Logan is blasted to the canvas, drained of all energy, and will to fight. Without paying a single bit of attention to Alix's position, the wounded grappler begins an arduous trek towards his corner. Fortunately for him, Alix has done the same, despite Mackenzie's repeated warnings to do otherwise. And so, Mackenzie and Krista are thrown into an bitter argument over the best course of action for Alix, neither one giving an inch as their heat filled voices border on erupting into a full shouting match. COLE Both competitors on the move, but who will get there first? A flood of jeers and boos answers that question, as Logan's hand meets with Synth Esizer's. With unseen speed, Esizer blazes a trail across the ring and halts Alix's crawl to her corner with an elbow drop. Still working with that mysterious quickness, Esizer hauls The Hollywood Bad Girl off the canvas. His head snakes between her arms, and his hands clamp down onto bootylicious shorts. Within moments she's being raised into the sky for a devastating back drop. But, Alix's agility shreds Synth's efforts to pieces, as she successfully backflips free of his grasp. Stunned into rage by this unexpected counter, Synth instantly tries to strike her down. But as he readies his arm for an attack, Alix is already in the processes of tagging in Krista! “YEAAAAAAA!” Synth shifts his anger from a brunette to a blond and attempts to blast her off the apron with one swat of his fist. However Krista swings her athletic legs through the ropes to catch him in the ribs. He stumbles backwards, with both arms wrapped around his now very sore side. Synth being so consumed with his pain becomes a costly error, as he fails to spot Krissy leaping onto the top rope. Thus he becomes an easy prey for her swanton press! Though the crowd shows massive appreciation for the death defying strike, its quickly forgotten by Krista who turns her attention towards Logan Mann. Her hands weave through his dreadlocks and bring his face flush into the turnbuckle posts! “YEAAAAAAA!” As Logan is already crumbling to a heap, Krista is redirecting her murderous urges towards Synth, who is slowly scraping his corpse off the canvas. He's unable to make it past a bent over position, as the blond bombshell slices her leg across his neck with a fameasser! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Urgently needing to quell Krista's dominance, Holly leaps onto the ring apron. Turning her head over her shoulder, she rolls her tounge around her crimson lips and invites Krista to savor her beauty with a glance of forbidden seduction. Krista is neither amused, nor aroused. “Not even if beneath that forty five pound, emaciated by week long cocaine binges and gangbangs with the Latin Kings body of your's was a lingerie clad Lindsay Lohan.” During Holly latest embarrassment at the mouth of Krista, Synth retreated to the minor safety of the corner. But, with Holly having been humiliated into hiding, Synth's safe haven is all but gone, as Krista lowers menacing eyes upon the hapless Rocker. Straight across the ring she comes, and with every step, Synth's mouth grows wider with horror, until its screaming cries of anguish as she monkey flips him across the ring. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” COLE Why didn't he just move out the way if he saw her coming? In pressing need of a barf bag, the dizzied brawler steps to his feet to mount whatever speck of offense he can muster. That would not be much; as Krista further adds to his tremendous nausea with an inverted lung blower! Synth bounces off her knees and flops onto the canvas, face frozen in a look of indescribable pain. A pinfall then follows.... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! The three forever remains on the audience's lips as Synth pulls his shoulder away from the canvas. Letting the sold out crowd vocalize her complaints over the count to the referee, Krista heads to the corner and with one super leap reaches the top rope. Though, before she can execute a high flying stunt, she must deal with Logan Mann, approaching at top speed on the ring apron. However, Alix handles that situation with ease, catching Logan unaware with a spear! Although he's blasted from the apron he avoids a truly disastrous crash landing by coming down on his boots. Unfortunately for the Macho Macho Mann his moment of good lucks ends at that exact moment as The Hollywood Bad Girl zooms through the ropes with a diving shoulder block. Bringing forth incredible cheers from the audience, her shoulder catches him square in the face! COACH Got dayum, homegirl just ate that nigga up! Get up, son! Get up! While Logan may have just won himself a trip to the IR, Synth is mostly recovered and quickly moves to join Krista atop turnbuckles. He hammers her with several elbows to the back, then attempts to attach her into a back suplex position. But, his hasty efforts don't go smoothly, and Miss California violently fights against him with elbows of her own. Eventually the elbows become too much for Esizer to endure, and he sags back to the canvas, a defeated man. Without wasting a moment of time, Krista's body twirls through the sky with a picture perfect moonsault press. But, Synth has enough strength within him to duck beneath her swan diving figure. As he rests his weary face on the ring ropes he expects to hear the horrendous sound of bones being obliterated by the stone solid canvas. Frustratingly all he hears is the soft click of her heels landing flawlessly on the floor. Though Synth has left himself in a dangerously vulnerable position, its not one Krista will ever be able to capitalize on thanks to having her arms pinned behind her back by Mackenzie DeCenzo. This despicable act comes joined with a torrent of jeers from the audience, but Mackenzie orders their silence as she tries her damnedest to keep Krista from shredding through her grip. COLE Is this woman out of her mind? That's your girlfriend's teammate! COACH That's your girlfriend's ex, who's been spreading rumors of drug use about your girlfriend, wants to kill your boss, beat your girlfriend up and then steal her back, and then rip out your still beating heart and show it to you before you die. You better do a lot more then pin her arms behind her back. With crazed brutality perverting her voice, Mackenzie hollers to Holly for assistance. Having had numerous run-ins with Krista over the course of the match, Holly needs no convincing and passes the Koran into the hands of Esizer. As Synth readies the holy book to aid in his quest for victory, Holly returns to the ring apron to distract referee Billy Silverman with tousling of her flame red hair. Bellowing in feral anger, Synth wields the book like a battering ram, readying it to cave in the blond's skull. But to his consternation and the audience's celebration, Krista counteracts his efforts by swinging her boot towards his face. With Synth's threat momentarily subsided, Krista is now free to deal with Mackenzie. She breaks apart her archrival's grip, then quickly swings behind her, turning her into a human shield against Synth's second approach. Krista gives Mackenzie a little nudge, and that its all it takes for the Enterprise's CFO to be wiped out by Synth's reckless use of the Koran. Tumbling into lifelessness Mackenzie sags downwards, unable to see the mischievous smile playing on Krista's face, or hear the tremendous roar of the standing crowd. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” COACH Alix is going to be pissed! Eyes blazing hatred, Synth takes quick stride towards Krista, wielding the holy book like a scimitar. But Krista rolls across the ring floor, eluding his questing blade. Thus the rampaging monster simply throws himself towards a returning Alix. He tries to drive his beefy arm towards her throat, but the sex kitten catches it just in time to spike it across her knee! His arm sizzles and smokes with agony, and he scrambles backwards to steer clear of Alix. However her hands coil around his neck rooting him firmly in her control. She then plummets their bodies sidways, and smashes him into the canvas with her finisher, The Shot At Love (sommersault neckbreaker)! The fans shriek with glee, and their voices grow louder when Alix hooks the leg for a pinfall. Alix sits atop the third rope, counting along with cheery voice and fingers pointed towards the sky, as Silverman administers the crucial count. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! COLE They got it! They got it! They got it! Chicks Over Dicks winning again, just like old times! And, maybe, that's the kind of thing Alix needs to jolt her memory as to how good she had it with Krista! BUFFER Your winners....ALIX MARIA SPEZIA AND KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN The euphoric Detroit natives exchange high fives, and toss thundering cheers into the air, in joy for their favorite ladies' success, and this time warp back to happier days. Unfortunately the crowd and Cole are the only ones waxing nostalgia over the triumphant run of the four time tag team champions. Alix more then anyone is very much aware of the bitter acrimony that constantly hangs over their every interaction, her voice is stifled to silence. Krista, however, moves with an air of sweetened grace to sweep away a volatile situation. She offers polite congratulations to Alix and makes her way towards the exit. But her peaceful retreat is left forever on hold, once Alix notices that her current lady love lies in a battered heap. There's no thought of other possibilities, and no questions of other suspects in Alix's mind, before she levels a bitter accusation towards Krista. Still intending to escape the ring without incurring further drama, Krista tries to pin total blame on Synth. But her excuses and alibis hold little weight in the twisted mind of Alix Maria Spezia. Her usually bubbly voice lowers several octaves as she assails Krista with bitterest tirade. Accusation after accusation is pinned on Krista, as a maddened Alix blames her for everything from Mackenzie's condition to spreading rumors about her drug use in the press. COLE This situation could get very ugly soon. COACH So much for your happy ending. Quote Avril Lavigne. Though, Krista has been the symbol of calm of tranquility for the duration of Alix's rant, her naturally abrasive personality can only withstand so much aggression from the woman she loves. Thus her soothing tones and halcyon demeanor falls to oblivion, taken over by enough bluster and hysterics to stand up to Alix's ferocious howls. With both women having dug their heels into the trenches, the still standing audience is left to pick sides in the emotional struggle. They vocalize their selections loudly and proudly, screaming with such energy that girls have to strain to be heard. LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO KRISTA! Suddenly onto the video screen appears the image of Mister Moneymaker, clad in one of his famous pinstripped suits, sitting in front of the OAOAST logo. MONEYMAKER Enough! Enough! Enough! Alix, leave Krista alone please. Because I want her to hear all of this. Leap Year Spectacular is intended to be a celebration of the OAOAST. An affirmation of its highest qualities as we venture into Anglemania. Its more then a glorified HeldDOWN as some have called it. Its a worship of the OAOAST, a Spectacular moment to give thanks before the OAOAST gives you greatness at Anglemania. The view returns to Krista, mouthing the words “get to the point.” MONEYMAKER But you've decided not to show, Krista. Not to worship at the altar of the OAOAST. Why? There's no illness in your family, no pressing emergencies to attend to in California. Even dear sweet Alix is scheduled to do an interview from her home in Los Angeles. But, you will be the only OAOAST superstar not present. The OAOAST's most popular female as voted by the fans themselves will be missing. Where will she be? The SWF! The same place that infested this company with Todd Cortez, Bruce Blank, and Landon Maddix. Men who one by one tried to ruin the OAOAST. But there you are in the federation that spawned them. And you're there for greed. “FUCK YOU, MONEYMAKER! FUCK YOU, MONEYMAKER!” MONEYMAKER You don't care about the SWF, you probably didn't even know Landon Maddix ran the operation until he came waving cash in front of your face. The SWF probably means nothing to you, but the chance to enhance your fortune does. I can appreciate that, but I can also call you out on it. You are selfish, self serving shrew, the kind of monster that spreads lie after lie about a woman she supposedly loves in Newspapers and gossip shows. The kind of monster that abandons her loyal fans for powerful dollar. I appreciate that, and I expect that you are after all Jewish, you its in your pagan nature to be greedy. BWHAAHAHAH! But I'm also disgusted by you. You're showing no concern for the fans, just like you've shown no concern for your bastard child when you ditched them! This is familiar territory for you, this kind of behavior. Because you care about no one besides yourself. Alix, Maya, your child, the fans, all mean nothing to you, Krista. All that matters is your fame, and fortune and image. You should be punished for your crimes of selfishness. You will punished. Punished by me, the ultimate decider of fates, the man who controls everything and everyone. I have promised to destroy you, Krista and with the information provided to me by Alix, I shall do just that. I shall ruin you. At Leap Year Spectacular you fans will not have Krista Isadora Duncan, and that is a shame, but you will have the identity of her bastard child, and that will be a glorious, glorious, thing. BWHAHAAHAHAH! Moneymaker's unsettling laughter is our final image as we FADE OUT

Back in the locker rooms, Cucaracha Internacional are still warming down from their big victory earlier on. Black and Blonde seem in high spirits, while Faqu seems like... well, Faqu, still pacing around like he's about to strike at any second. Megan is present too but there's no sign of either Cortez or Landon. Until, that is, the door swings up and the namesake leader of CI breezes into the room. MADDIX Well well, if it isn't the winner's circle! MEGAN So, what did he say? MADDIX He said exactly what I expected him to say. Still smiling, Maddix grabs Blonde around the shoulders. MADDIX Okay guys, bring it in, bring it in. I just want to say right away, great job out there tonight. I couldn't be more pleased with how things went out there. We didn't have things all our own way and we knew it was going to be tough, considering where we were. Hostile territory... or, as hostile as thousands of little girls in training bras and their moms can, at least. But we came through. Cucaracha Internacional reigned supreme tonight, one more time. And that's only the beginning. See, I just came back from speaking to AngleSault and he agreed, after that showing we're on the up. BLONDE No doubt about it! MADDIX No there is not my friend. Which is why AS had no other choice but to give us a shot at the Six Man Tag Team Titles, since we just went out there and showed them up in their home state. Black and Blonde seem pleased with that. Even Faqu lets out a few shouts, which seem to be his way of showing he's happy with that. MADDIX Leap Year Spectacular, we've got the shot. Now, I'm not going to be able to be there to cheer you guys on, since I've got the small matter of an SWF show to run. But I'll be keeping tabs on you. And I've got full confidence that you, the bigman and Todd can bring those titles home, win us our first cha... BLACK Woah woah. Wot was that!? Realising he's not done the best job of explaining himself, certainly not the most tactful job, Landon freezes up for a second. Blonde shares Black's surprise, but not his anger as Black stands up and marches over to his new 'boss'. BLACK Did I 'ere that right? You're subbin' me out!? BLONDE What's that all about man? MADDIX Look, I know it's not ideal, but... BLACK You're bloody well right it ain't ideal mate! Incase you ain't noticed, we're a team. Internationally Known. That's wot you took over, remember? MADDIX I know, I know and I don't feel too great about jeopardising all that. But please, just hear me out. This is nothing to do with you guys. I let you associate yourselves with me... no, I associated myself with you, I know exactly what you're all capable of. It was no arbitrary decision, let me assure you. This is a purely business decision. A tactical decision, from a tactician, a leader. You have to try and look at the big picture. Having Todd Cortez with us is a lot more beneficial to us than having him against us, am I right? Blonde shrugs and agrees. Even Black has to begrudingly nod. MADDIX Exactly. Now, I've got him back by my side and I made him promises. I promised him success. And the sooner he gets that success, the sooner he gets it into that thick skull of his that, as usual, I'm right. Once he's onside, there's no stopping us. I mean, seriously, did you SEE what did out there to that punk O'Hara? Are you telling me that wasn't the greatest thing you ever saw? BLACK I ain't denyin' that. But lemme remind ya Landon... ya made us promises n'all. MADDIX I know I did. And your time will come very soon, trust me on that. It's just that we have to try and fit Todd in now to reap the benefits later. James needs to be there to control Faqu and Faqu needs to be there because... well, he's Faqu. Faqu, at the sound of his name, starts beating his chest. MADDIX Case in point. Listen, I'll make it up to you, I promise. BLACK There's that word again. Still showing signs of disappointment, Black fist-pumps Landon on the shoulder as a sign of acceptance. After rubbing away the pain from what was just a friendly fist, Landon then walks over to Megan, leaving his stable-mates to talk amongst themselves about the announcement across the room. MADDIX Well, I think I got away with that. With that now's as good a time as any to advertise The Leap Year Spectacular Card as we know it Leap Year Spectacular A MARVelous Experience Once Every Four Years Anderson Cup Finals: The Sooner Bruisers Vs Team Heyross OAOAST World Title: Stephen Joseph Vs Colombian Heat Black Widow vs. Miss Jobs Six-man title match: Love Generation Vs Faqu, James Blonde & Todd Cortez COMING UP NEXT MUSIC MAKES THE PEOPLE COME TOGETHER Alix Maria Spezia and ???? Vs The Heavenly Rockers NEXT COMING UP NEXT

A piano plays a melody, causing the crowd to cheer. The lights go down in the arena, turning back on in tune with the melody. *"COME ON!"* *BOOM~!* "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Pyro explodes, leaving behind fire that burns on both sides of the entrance stage. "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil' Jon and Pitbull starts playing. The entrance doors slide open, and Colombian Heat comes charging out, receiving a HUGE pop from the Detroit fateful. Heat gets the crowd fired up, bouncing up and down across the entrance stage, the OAOAST United States Championship belt strapped around his waist. Heat points to his belt, and then raises his hands, acknowledging the fans. Colombian Heat points to both sides of the arena, and then walks down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the 8-Man Survivor Series Elimination Match. In this match, to win you must eliminate all four members of the opposite team. Elimination can occur via pinfall, submission, countout or disqualification. Introducing first. The members of The People's Team. Team member #1. Coming to the ring at this time. Originally from Bogotá, Colombia but now residing in Miami, Florida. Weighing in at 180 lbs. He is one-half of The Badd Boyz AND the reigning One And Only AngleSault Thread United States Champion. He...is...COLOMBIANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTT! Colombian Heat dances a bit on the entrance ramp, and then continues walking to the ring. COLE We are set for some 8-Man Survivor Series Elimination action here on HeldDOWN~! No titles are at stake here, but pride is. COACH But a title will be at stake next Thursday. Colombian Heat battles Stephen Joseph Popick for the World Heavyweight Title! COLE That's right, Coach. Heat gets the first one-on-one Title shot of his entire career! Can he come through big time and face his best friend at AngleMania VII, or will it be Popick going one-on-one with his former client at the biggest show of the year? COACH I'll answer that for you already. It's gonna be Popick. COLE We'll find out in seven days, Coach. Colombian Heat slaps some fans' hands at ringside, and then climbs up the ring steps. Heat hops into the ring. Colombian Heat points to the OAOAST United States Championship belt around his waist, and then gets onto the second ring rope and does the "WESTSIIIIIIIDE" hand signal, receiving cheers. Heat pounds his chest as he gets off the ropes and heads to a second turnbuckle, where he once again throws up the "W" hand signal again, receiving more cheers. Heat plays to the crowd while on the second turnbuckle, pointing to the OAOAST United States Championship belt strapped around his waist, and then hops off it. He calls for a microphone. COLE Colombian Heat, the current OAOAST United States Champion, has a chance to become a double champion in one week when he battles Popick for the World Title, the winner going on to the AngleMania VII main event on March 30th! COACH Colombian Heat better thank his lucky stars that the United States Title isn't on the line in his match with Popick next Thursday, because Popick would have taken *that* belt away from him and become a double champion himself! COLE The odds are definitely stacked against Colombian Heat. Tha Puerto Rican is barred from ringside, but the SJPC isn't! And you just know that Popick will use that to his advantage. COACH He won't need to. He'll beat Colombian Heat with his *talent*. Something he has in spades! COLE And he seems to have Corporation members in spades. COACH Shut up, Cole. COLE I love pissing you off. COACH Ass. Colombian Heat grabs a microphone. COLOMBIAN HEAT Yo, kill da beat! "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil' Jon and Pitbull dies down. The crowd cheers loudly. "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" Colombian Heat smiles a wide smile. COLOMBIAN HEAT A'ight, y'all. A'ight y'all. If all of y'all are ready to see me, PRL, Mad Cappa, and ZACK MALIBU, Tha People's Team, make all those suckas in 'Tha Corporate Team' feel the Heat...then Detroit, Michigan...make some motherfreakin' noise UP IN THIS-- "BI-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!" The crowd cheers loudly. The camera shows several Colombian Heat signs in the crowd. COLOMBIAN HEAT Damn right. Colombian Heat hands the microphone to a ringside attendant. Heat exits the ring and removes the Colombian Heat bandana from around his neck. Heat searches around ringside for someone. He finds a little boy wearing a black Colombian Heat T-shirt, PRL sunglasses, and a giant foam PRL finger on his right hand. The child is also carrying a Colombian Heat action figure in his left hand. Colombian Heat places the Colombian Heat bandana over the head of the child. Heat high fives the little kid and smiles a wide smile. COLE Ha! Ha! Everyone, regardless of how old they are, loves Colombian Heat! COACH If they have the mind of a 4-year-old. COLE Oh will you stop!? Colombian Heat stays at ringside, looking towards the entrance. The crowd is buzzing in anticipation. COLE This is going to be a war. “THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP…” *DUN DUN* “…IS…” *DUN* “…HERE!” "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" A lightning bolt hits the entrance stage, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and “Know Your Role 2000” blasts over the P.A. system, bringing the crowd to life. The lights go down in the arena. PR is heard saying, “THE CHAMP IS HERE!” in tune with the beat of the song, while smoke fills the entrance stage, and spotlights circle around and around the arena. A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and Tha Puerto Rican quickly saunters out, stopping to look at the size of the crowd. PRL looks all over the arena, and then takes a deep breath. He jumps up and down, snorts, and then walks down the entrance ramp, not stopping at all, keeping his eyes focused on the ring. The crowd cheers louder than before. BUFFER And his partner. Coming to the ring at this time. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 220 lbs. He is one-half of The Badd Boyz. The captain of The People's Team...THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! COLE The Badd Boyz are partners tonight, but they could be opponents come AngleMania VII if Colombian Heat beats Stephen Joseph Popick next Thursday! COACH As much joy as I would get seeing those two clowns fight, I gotta support my man Popick. He DESERVES to main event his first AngleMania as Heavyweight Champion of the World! COLE Well, Tha Puerto Rican has wrestled Colombian Heat one-on-one more times in the past than he has Stephen Joseph Popick! But either way, Tha Puerto Rican IS the #1 Contender to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title and he WILL be wrestling at AngleMania VII after winning last week's amazing Ultimate X Match against Spanish Fly to get the Title shot and keep his career going! COACH Ugh. Don't remind me. I was hoping that last week was the last time PRL would be in an OAOAST ring. COLE You weren't alone. The Popicks and the Corporation were too. But Tha Puerto Rican pulled through, and now he's got a first class ticket to AngleMania on March 30th! COACH Ugh. I think I am going to be sick. Tha Puerto Rican walks around ringside, slapping hands with some of the fans, keeping his eyes on Spanish Fly. Fly taunts PRL from inside of the ring. COLE You can feel the electricity! Tha Puerto Rican on his way to the ring! COACH Oh, get it over with already, Rock-lite! PRL stops to slap some fans’ hands. Puerto climbs up the ring steps and then gets onto the ring apron. He gives the fans The People’s Eyebrow, and then enters the ring. He spins around; soaking in the fans’ cheers while “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing over the P.A. system. Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose while pyro explodes behind him. The crowd is still cheering loudly. COLE The last time Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat competed in a Survivor Series Elimination Match together on HeldDOWN~!, they were the captains of opposing teams! But now, tonight, they are partners along with two other men who we never thought we ever see Tha Puerto Rican team up with! COACH It's like a motley crue of losers facing The Corporate Team tonight! Tha Puerto Rican heads to a second turnbuckle and raises his hands in the air. He then gets off of the second turnbuckle and then heads to another second turnbuckle and raises his hands in the air again. PRL gets off of the second turnbuckle, walks right by Colombian Heat, and then heads to a third second turnbuckle where he proceeds to raise his right fist into the air and “smell the electricity” while a single spotlight shines on him ala The Rock. The crowd cheers loudly. Tha Puerto Rican gets off of the second turnbuckle and heads to the fourth second turnbuckle where he does the same Rock pose, receiving cheers. COLE Tha Puerto Rican with a chance at revenge, taking on three members of the group that he led for FOUR years! Most groups in professional wrestling don't even last a whole year, let alone FOUR! That right there should tell you just how powerful The Lightning Crew was when it was under the leadership of Tha Puerto Rican. COACH Yes, The Lightning Crew was powerful...but the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation is even MORE powerful! They've proved it in the past, and they will prove it again TONIGHT! Tha Puerto Rican gets off the ropes and walks over to Colombian Heat where he proceeds to talk with him. COLE PRL has been rivals with all of his partners here tonight! But the past is the past. And they must work together if they are to defeat The Corporate Team. COACH Which is next to impossible. No wait...it's impossible. Definitely impossible! PRL and Colombian Heat talk it up. PRL tells Heat something and then removes his sunglasses and earring and hands them over to a ringside attendant. PRL then goes back to talking to Colombian Heat, while the lights go back on in the arena and “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing. COLE The Badd Boyz teaming up for the first time in a long time on HeldDOWN~! And they will be joined by two other men, one they know very well. Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat are still talking as "Know Your Role 2000" dies down. The crowd is buzzing in anticipation of the next entrance. *1, 2, 3! Hit it!* The opening trumpet blare brings the crowd to its collective feet. The lights go down in the arena. “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)” by DJ Kool starts playing. Red spotlights fly all over the arena while strobe lights appear over, under and around the AngleTron. The crowd chants, “GO CAP-PA! GO CAP-PA! GO CAP-PA!” in tune with the beat. A single spotlight shines on the entrance. The Mad Cappa’s back is turned to the camera. Cappa starts dancing to his entrance theme, and then stops to turn around and flash his pearly whites to his adoring fans. Mad Cappa points to the fans and then begins his walk to the ring, slapping hands with the fans along the way. BUFFER And their partner. Coming to the ring at this time. From Northern, Virginia. Weighing in at 183 lbs. THE MADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD CAPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! The Mad Cappa stops at ringside and slaps the fans’ hands there as “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)” continues playing. COLE The Mad Cappa has formed an uneasy alliance with Tha Puerto Rican in the past three months, not based on any love for one another, but based more on a mutual respect that they have for each other. COACH I'm just waiting for when one of them turns on the other. COLE If they wanted to do that, it would have happened by now, I think. COACH There's still time, Michael. There's still time. The Mad Cappa throws up a peace sign for his fans as he makes his way up the ring steps. He enters the ring and then climbs onto the ring ropes to raise his right fist into the air. The crowd cheers loudly. Mad Cappa heads to the opposite ropes and raises his right fist into the air again, receiving more cheers. Cappa then stands in the center of the ring while a spotlight shines on him and dances some more to cheers. COLE The Mad Cappa is in a fighting mood! We haven't seen much of Cappa since Anglepalooza, but you better believe that he hasn't forgotten about his issue with the Corporation! COACH He sure. Time to move on. Fail at other things. COLE Oh will you stop!? COACH Nah, this is fun! I love pissing you off! Mad Cappa stops dancing and pounds his chest with his right fist in a show of love. He raises his hands in the air as the spotlight continues shining on him. COLE These men are powerful enough on their own. But together, with their partner, oh boy. COACH They will fall. Hard. The lights go back on in the arena. Cappa bounces off the ropes to get himself warmed up for his match. TMC talks to PRL and Colombian Heat. All three men have serious looks on their faces as they speak. COLE One more entrance for The People's Team, and it's a big one. What a coup for The People's Team! COACH Whoopie-doo! The Mad Cappa, Tha Puerto Rican, and Colombian Heat continue talking as “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)” by DJ Kool dies down. The crowd is buzzing in anticipation for the next entrance. Cappa takes a deep breath. PRL and Heat look at each other. COLE 4-On-4! 8-Man Survivor Series Elimination Match! It's coming up in just a few moments on the OAOAST's flagship show! And speaking of the OAOAST, you can't talk about the One And Only AngleSault Thread without talking about this man. ::CUE: "Getting Away With Murder" by Papa Roach:: "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHH!" The opening bass riff of "Getting Away With Murder" by Papa Roach hits. A shower of golden pyro appears over the entrance underneath the AngleTron. The entrance doors slide open, and Zack Malibu makes his way out through the shower of golden pyro. *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* White pyro then shoots off on both sides of the entrance stage. Zack looks at the crowd, looks to the ring, and then walks down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way, but keeping his eyes focused on the ring. BUFFER And the final member of The People's Team. Coming to the ring at this time. From Providence, Rhode Island. Weighing in at 210 lbs. He is a former 3-time One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the Wooooooooooorrrrllllllllllllddddddddddd! The one...the only...ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCKKKKKKK MALIBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Zack looks at the ring as "Getting Away With Murder" continues playing. PRL, Mad Cappa, and Colombian Heat stare at Zack as he gets closer to the ring. COLE You can't talk about the OAOAST without talking about this man! The face of the OAOAST over the past five years, he is to the One And Only AngleSault Thread what Michael Jordan was to the NBA. What Wayne Gretzky was to the NHL. What Babe Ruth was to Major League Baseball. He is the poster child for the OAOAST, and if you have him on your team, you KNOW that you are going to get greatness! COACH Are you done kissing his ass now? COLE ...yes. COACH Good. Zack high fives some fans and then runs around ringside climbing up the ring steps and then entering the ring. Zack glances over at his three partners for the evening, and then heads to a second turnbuckle where he raises his right fist in the air to a LOUD pop from the crowd. Malibu then gets off of the turnbuckle and heads to another second turnbuckle where he raises his right fist into the air again to another LOUD pop from the crowd. Malibu gets off of the turnbuckle and heads to a third second turnbuckle where he raises his right fist into the air again to more cheers. Zack gets off of the turnbuckle and heads to the fourth second turnbuckle to raise his right fist into the air again to a pop from the crowd. COLE Zack Malibu has never in his career teamed up with Tha Puerto Rican, The Mad Cappa, OR Colombian Heat! But he is doing so tonight! He may have his own motives for teaming up, but the important thing is that he showed up ready to fight! COACH More like he showed up to get his ass kicked! COLE Hmmph. Zack Malibu gets off of the second turnbuckle and then removes his hooded vest and hands it over to a ringside attendant. Zack stretches for a bit, and then goes over to where PRL, Heat, and Mad Cappa are and starts talking to them. COLE A historic meeting. A one night only team. PRL, Zack Malibu, Mad Cappa, Colombian Heat on the same team. For the first time EVER! COACH This is going to be awesome. COLE Indeed it will, Coach. Indeed it will. Zack, PRL, Heat and Mad Cappa continue their discussion as "Getting Away With Murder" by Papa Roach dies down. The crowd buzzes in anticipation for the heels to come out. COLE How well will these four men do as a team tonight? Against a team as experienced as the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation? COACH Not too well, I don't think. COLE We are about to find out! Tha Puerto Rican, Zack Malibu, Colombian Heat, and The Mad Cappa turn their attention to the entrance. "THE C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-CORP-CORPORA-CORPORATION" “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The opening to “No Chance In Hell” plays as smoke fills the entrance stage. The lights go down in the arena. The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation entrance video plays on the AngleTron. The crescendo hits, and a HUGE burst of pyro explodes over the entrance stage. “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds starts playing. *No chance (No chance) That’s what ya got! (Ha! Ha! Yeah.) We’re up against no machine too strong (Too strong) Pussy politicians buying souls for us are…PUPPETS! (Puppets!)* The entrance doors slide open. Stephen Joseph Popick comes out, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt strapped around his waist. Behind him comes his wife, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, carrying the OAOAST Women's Championship belt over her left shoulder. Standing to Stephen Joseph's left is Cuban Wall, who cracks his knuckles, and then looks at the crowd before pumping his right fist into the air to boos. Vitamin X comes out next, muttering angrily with Princess Stacey standing to his right. And last but not least is Spanish Fly, who brings in the rear. Fly comes jogging out. He throws the old Wolfpack hand signal with both hands and sticks his tongue out. Fly throws out a few CROTCH CHOPS~! to the fans. The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation members all look to be in a foul mood. COLE And there they are. COACH The single greatest group of wrestlers in professional wrestling history! COLE I wouldn't go that far. COACH I would. COLE Yeah, you would. Stephen Joseph Popick outstretches his arms in a crucified position. *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* COACH Whoa! Vitamin X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. Dollar signs are superimposed over the entrance ramp. Cuban Wall and Spanish Fly taunt The People's Team. Stephen Joseph orders his team to follow him down the entrance ramp into the ring. BUFFER And their opponents. Coming to the ring at this time. Accompanied to the ring by the One And Only AngleSault Thread Women's Champion Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick and Princess Stacey. At a total combined weight of 933 lbs. Representing the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation. They are the team of Vitamin X, Spanish Fly, Cuban Wall, AND the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion Stephen Joseph Popick...THE CORPORATEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM! The Corporate Team continues walking down the entrance ramp with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick and Princess Stacey. COLE The Corporate Team all coming out as a unit! COACH That's what makes them so great. United they stand, divided they WILL fall! COLE They've been a team much longer than their opponents! They will have the experience factor here tonight! COACH As well as the talent factor. And the sexy factor. Hello, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick and Princess Stacey! Mmmmm. COLE Oh brother. Spanish Fly taunts the fans, and gives them more CROTCH CHOPS~!. Vitamin X bobs his head to the beat of "No Chance In Hell". Popick makes sure to stay away from the fans trying to touch him or his belt. Cuban Wall shadow boxes a little bit as he walks to the ring. The members of The People's Team stare at the members of The Corporate Team. COLE It's The People's Team vs. The Corporate Team! Only ONE team will win! How many will survive this war!? Cuban Wall motions that he is going to hurt PRL. COLE And Cuban Wall and Spanish Fly looking to get their hands on PRL after what happened last week! Cuban Wall LOSING the OAOAST World Title shot that he earned by winning the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match at Anglepalooza back in January. COACH The saddest day in Cuban Wall's career. And he wasn't even involved in the decision! COLE No, but he tried to interfere, and Colombian Heat made sure that no interference would take place! COACH He just wanted to help his friend! That thug! COLE Regardless, PRL IS going to AngleMania VII on March 30th to fight for the World Heavyweight Title. NOT Cuban Wall! COACH UGH! Vitamin X tells his fellow Corporate Team members something, and then slides into the ring. He charges after Zack Malibu, going for a punch--BLOCKED! Zack Malibu fires off with punches of his own! The crowd cheers loudly! The lights go back on inside of the arena as "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds dies down. Referee Earl Hebner calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COLE And here we go now! It's going to be Zack Malibu, with those punches, starting things off against Vitamin X! COACH Oh my gosh! 8-MAN SURVIVOR SERIES ELIMINATION MATCH THE PEOPLE’S TEAM (Tha Puerto Rican, Colombian Heat, The Mad Cappa and Zack Malibu) vs. THE CORPORATE TEAM (Stephen Joseph Popick, Cuban Wall, Vitamin X, & Spanish Fly with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick and Princess Stacey) "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds dies down. Zack and Vitamin X engage in a slugfest! Vitamin X quickly gains the advantage. X whips Malibu into the ropes--Malibu reverses--Vitamin X bounces off of the ropes, Zack hits X with a dropkick! Zack quickly covers The X-Man. 1... 2... KICK OUT! COACH Come on Zack. You knew that wouldn’t be enough to put The X-Man away! Zack picks Vitamin X up. VX spears Zack into The Corporate Team corner! Cuban Wall holds Zack in place while Popick and Spanish Fly get their shots in on The Franchise. Vitamin X distracts Earl Hebner as this is going on. COLE And The Corporate Team already using their team tactics on The Franchise of the OAOAST! COACH They have the experience. They’re doing what they do best! X walks over and makes the tag to Spanish Fly. Spanish Fly immediately gets in and attacks Zack Malibu with martial arts kicks all over his body. “ZACK!” “ZACK!” “ZACK!” “ZACK!” Spanish Fly punches Zack in the face several times. He then switches to Clubberin’~! They be clubbering’~! forearms on Malibu. The forearms stagger Malibu. Zack fires back with punches of his own. COLE Zack going head-to-head with Spanish Fly for the first time ever. Remember, he doesn’t have a personal issue with the Corporation. He accepted PRL’s request for his own reasons tonight. COACH Yeah. What a selfish bastard Zack is. COLE He’s not friends with PRL. He didn’t have to accept his request in the first place. But he did. COACH For selfish reasons. Again, he’s a selfish bastard. Spanish Fly scratches Zack’s eyes, and then punches him several times before whipping him into the ropes. Fly goes for a right hand, Zack Malibu ducks, bounces off of the ropes, and fires with a running back elbow! COLE And Zack with a running back elbow on the diminutive Spanish Fly! COACH Come on Fly! You eliminate Zack and you’ll recover nicely from last week! Zack waits for Fly to get up. He goes for a clothesline, but Spanish Fly ducks…and then nails Zack with a spinning heel kick! COLE Big time spinning heel kick from Spanish Fly on Zack Malibu! COACH Fly knocked down Zack! THE Zack Malibu! Awesome! Spanish Fly gives Zack a CROTCH CHOP~! and tells him to “SUCK IT!” He then makes the tag to Stephen Joseph Popick. COLE And here we go. Zack/Popick once again. Zack and Popick haven’t been in the same ring since the Triple Cage Match at November Reign last year. And we all know how that one ended. COACH Yes, it was truly the beginning of the end for Tha Puerto Rican that night. The boo birds fly the moment Popick is tagged in. With his wife and Princess Stacey looking on, the cocky OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion picks Zack Malibu up and punches him in the face several times. He then makes the tag back to Spanish Fly. COLE That’s it!? He wasn’t even in there for a minute! COACH Hey now. He’s the World Heavyweight Champion. He shouldn’t have to get his hands dirty if he doesn’t want to. COLE Coach, being the World Heavyweight Champion, you would expect him to wrestle the most out of anyone else in this company! COACH No, you would expect him to hold back a bit. His Title match is NEXT Thursday, not tonight. Spanish Fly takes Zack over to a neutral corner and slams his face on top of the top turnbuckle pad. COLE All four members of The People’s Team have quite the history with Stephen Joseph Popick, and would love to get their hands on him tonight. COACH But they’re not going to. Uh-uh! Fly whips Zack into the opposite turnbuckle corner. Fly does a CROTCH CHOP~!, and then charges forward, going for a seated Senton…but Zack moves out of the way, and Spanish Fly crashes into the top turnbuckle and crumbles like an accordion onto the mat! The crowd cheers! COACH His neck! COLE Spanish Fly is down! COACH And so is Zack! Indeed, Zack lies on the mat along with Spanish Fly. PRL, Mad Cappa, and Colombian Heat all pace back and forth, wanting the tag. COLE Zack desperately needs to make the tag! Can he get to his corner before Spanish Fly does? COACH COME ON FLY! Spanish Fly and Zack Malibu crawl over to their respective corners. They inch closer and closer. A hush silence falls over the crowd as Zack Malibu spots Colombian Heat’s right hand… …and makes the tag before Spanish Fly does! COLE And here comes Colombian Heat with a HUGE score to settle! Spanish Fly stabbed Colombian Heat in the back to join the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation back in December of last year! The crowd cheers! Colombian Heat picks Spanish Fly up and throws him into a neutral corner! Heat starts firing away with punches to Spanish Fly’s temple! He then chops Fly across the chest! *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Colombian Heat switches between a combination of chops and punches on Spanish Fly in the turnbuckle corner! He then whips Spanish Fly into the opposite neutral corner. Spanish Fly hits the turnbuckle back-first HARD! Fly staggers forward, right into a BAAAAACK Body Drop from Colombian Heat! Vitamin X enters the ring, and gets knocked down immediately with a punch! COLE Punch for Vitamin X! Stephen Joseph Popick enters the ring, and he too gets knocked down with a punch! COLE Punch for Popick! Cuban Wall enters the ring, and Colombian Heat starts punching him in the face! The Mad Cappa enters the ring and attacks Vitamin X! Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring and attacks Stephen Joseph Popick! Zack Malibu enters the ring and attacks Cuban Wall! All 8 men start slugging it out! The crowd cheers! COLE And here we go! All 8-men are in the ring! All hell has broken loose! Tha Puerto Rican clotheslines Popick over the top rope and onto the floor! Vitamin X tries to run away from The Mad Cappa by exiting the ring! But Cappa exits the ring and follows him! Zack Malibu and Cuban Wall brawl in a turnbuckle corner! Meanwhile, Colombian Heat gives Spanish Fly the Bong Hit! COLE Bong Hit on Spanish Fly! The Mad Cappa brawls with Vitamin X on the outside. Heat exits the ring and climbs the top rope. COLE Heat going up top here. COACH Oh crap! He’s gonna fly on Fly! Colombian Heat is hunched over on the top rope and is waiting for Spanish Fly to get up. COACH LOOK OUT FLY! COLE In a bit of irony, it is Colombian Heat who’ll fly right here! COACH Oh darn! Spanish Fly is slowly getting up. He gets to a vertical base. COLE Spanish Fly is in la-la land! Spanish Fly is up. He staggers right into a missile dropkick from Colombian Heat! Colombian Heat quickly sits up. The crowd cheers. COACH Oh no. COLE Here it comes! Colombian Heat looks at his right hand. He seems mesmerized by it. He starts talking to it. COACH What is with that damn hand of his? COLE He’s mesmerized by it! COACH Oh brother! Colombian Heat’s right hand starts shaking. Heat’s eyes are bugging out. COACH Not the stupid, stinky, repulsive-- Colombian Heat’s head is shaking. He acts like he is in a seizure. His eyes are still bugging out. COLE The crowd is on its feet! COACH Ugh. Colombian Heat is still in a seizure. COACH He’s made me hate this move. Colombian Heat’s head and hands are shaking. He then stops. COLOMBIAN HEAT (AND CROWD) WASSSSSSSSSSSSUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!? Colombian Heat does a Spinaroonie to a pop from the crowd! COLE Spinaroonie! Spinaroonie! Spinaroonie from Colombian Heat! COACH Give me a break here! Colombian Heat stands up…and clutches his throat and gasps for air! COLE There it is! The signal for the Colombian Necktie! Colombian Heat waits for Spanish Fly to get up. When he does, Colombian Heat kicks Spanish Fly in the gut, turns around, and then grabs Spanish Fly’s arms. COACH Oh no. Colombian Heat looks at the ceiling of the Joe Louis Arena, looks at Tha Puerto Rican, The Mad Cappa, and Zack Malibu, looks at Spanish Fly, and then looks at the fans. He lifts Spanish Fly up-- Cuban Wall enters the ring and gives Colombian Heat a big boot to the face! COACH Phew! COLE Cuban Wall with a big boot to the face saving his partner there! Cuban Wall goes back to his corner. Colombian Heat is lying on the mat face-down. Spanish Fly is on his knees. He begins to crawl over to The Corporate Team corner. COLE Spanish Fly was saved from possible elimination there by Cuban Wall. COACH God bless you, Cuban Wall. Spanish Fly uses the second and third ring ropes to pull himself up. He takes a deep breath and then exits the ring. Fly climbs the top rope. COLE Colombian Heat may be in trouble here. Spanish Fly is hunched over on the top rope just like Colombian Heat was a few minutes before. Colombian Heat uses the second ring rope to pull himself up. Heat is on his left knee. Heat uses the bottom and second ring ropes to get back to a vertical base. Spanish Fly motions for Heat to get up. COLE Heat better be careful here. Spanish Fly is on the top rope. Colombian Heat slowly rises upward. The crowd (and The People’s Team) are desperately trying to warn Colombian Heat on what’s going to happen to him in only a few seconds. But Colombian Heat is too busy recovering to listen. Colombian Heat holds his face in pain as stands up straight using the second rope to maintain his balance. Colombian Heat slowly walks forward, holding his face in pain. WHEN HE GETS HIT WITH A FLY SWATTER FROM SPANISH FLY~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 COLE Fly Swatter! Fly Swatter from Spanish Fly! COACH YES! Spanish Fly covers Colombian Heat, hooking his left leg. Earl Hebner counts. 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE Spanish Fly pinned Colombian Heat! Spanish Fly eliminated his FORMER best friend! COACH Way to go, Fly! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1st Elimination: Colombian Heat (2:40) Eliminated By: Spanish Fly (via pinfall) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, Colombian Heat…HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Spanish Fly does a fist pump in celebration of eliminating his former partner and running buddy. The other 3 Corporate Team members applaud Fly, while PRL, Zack, and The Mad Cappa groan in disappointment. COLE Colombian Heat, the man who will face Stephen Joseph Popick next Thursday night for the World Heavyweight Title, is the first man eliminated from this contest! COACH Heat is just getting a little preview of what’s to come next Thursday night on the Leap Year Spectacular! Except instead of a Fly Swatter, it will be a Finality that gets the job done, HA! HA! HA! Princess Stacey and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick applaud Spanish Fly. Earl Hebner tells Colombian Heat that he has to leave the ring. Heat starts rolling out of the ring while the crowd boos loudly. Spanish Fly throws up the Wolfpack hand signal and sticks his tongue out to boos. Fly laughs manically. He doesn’t notice when Zack Malibu enters the ring. COLE Uh…Fly. COACH LOOK OUT! Spanish Fly turns around…and gets hit with punches in bunches from Zack Malibu to the crowd’s delight! COLE And Zack Malibu just hammering away on Spanish Fly right now! Zack’s punches take Spanish Fly over to a neutral corner. He keeps on with the punching though to the crowd’s continued delight. But suddenly, the focus shifts from the ring to the entrance stage. COLE And look at this. COACH What in tarnations? BOHEMOTH appears on the entrance stage. The crowd cheers loudly. COLE Bohemoth is out here! What’s he doing here? COACH He’s probably thinking how he’ll hurt Zack before AngleMania! COLE Will you stop!? Bo just stands on the entrance stage watching the match. The camera cuts back to the ring just in time to see Zack going for the ZACK ATTACK 2!…AND MISSING! COLE Spanish Fly moved out of the way in the nick of time! Zack Malibu is down! Bohemoth is on the entrance stage watching everything! Who will be the sole survivors? We will find out when we return! Zack Malibu is on the mat holding his knees in pain. Spanish Fly is also lying on the mat. This is the last image we see before we fade to black. Commercials We return from commercial break with The Mad Cappa giving Spanish Fly a Lou Thesz Press! Cappa gets on top of Fly and immediately hammers away at him to cheers! COLE Back on HeldDOWN~!, and fans, during the break, Zack Malibu tagged in The Mad Cappa, the fresh man, who has taken control of this match for The People’s Team! COACH It’s only temporarily! Only temporarily! The Mad Cappa gets up, charges forward, bounces off of the ropes, and nails Fly with a double axehandle on the mat! Cappa then gets up and bounces off of the ropes again…Stephen Joseph Popick nails Cappa in the back of the neck! The Mad Cappa staggers right into Vitamin X nailing The Mad Cappa with a punch! The Mad Cappa staggers some more into Cuban Wall nailing The Mad Cappa in the back of the neck! The Mad Cappa stagger some more. FLY SWATTER~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111 COLE Fly Swatter! Fly Swatter on The Mad Cappa! COACH That’s it. It’s over. COLE This should be it. Spanish Fly covers The Mad Cappa. He hooks Cappa’s left leg. Earl Hebner counts. 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE And Spanish Fly eliminates another one! COACH AW YEAH! Spanish Fly truly is rebounding back nicely from last week’s disappointment! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2nd Elimination: The Mad Cappa (5:44) Eliminated By: Spanish Fly (via pinfall) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, The Mad Cappa…HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH HA! HA! HA! We are now down to 2 men left for ‘The People’s Team!’ They’re doomed! COLE It is 4-on-2 now. Nobody from The Corporate Team has been eliminated yet! Tha Puerto Rican and Zack Malibu are the last two men left! Tha Puerto Rican and Zack Malibu teaming up for the first time ever tonight here on HeldDOWN~! Spanish Fly throws up the Wolfpack hand signal with both hands again. The crowd boos loudly. The Corporate Team members applaud Fly as does Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick and Princess Stacey. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK RIGHT FLY! Spanish Fly poses for the fans. He taunts them, giving them a CROTCH CHOP~!. As he does this, Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring and gets into his predator position. The crowd cheers, but Spanish Fly continues taunting the fans. COLE The Corporate Team vs. Tha Puerto Rican and Zack Malibu, and Tha Puerto Rican, the captain of the team, is in the ring right now! Spanish Fly turns around, and gets knocked down to the mat with a clothesline! COACH Oh no! COLE Oh what a clothesline! The crowd goes wild! PRL waits for Spanish Fly to get up, and when he does, PR attacks with Rock-style punches to the temple! COLE PRL going to work on Spanish Fly, picking up where we left off last week in that Ultimate X Match! PRL still has a career in the OAOAST and will meet the winner of the Stephen Joseph Popick/Colombian Heat match next week for the OAOAST Championship at AngleMania VII on March 30th! Tha Puerto Rican’s punches take Spanish Fly to the ropes. PRL gives Fly an Irish whip into the ropes--NO--Spanish Fly reverses--Stephen Joseph Popick nails PRL in the back with his right knee! PRL staggers forward, right into a flying clothesline from Spanish Fly! COACH Things are looking bad for The People’s Team and I love it! Spanish Fly stomps on Tha Puerto Rican. He picks PRL up, and then grabs him by his head and takes him over to The Corporate Team corner where he slams his head on the top turnbuckle pad! He then makes the tag to Cuban Wall. COLE Cuban Wall making his first appearance in this match-up. COACH Go get him, Wall! Cuban Wall stomps on Tha Puerto Rican in the turnbuckle corner. He then switches to soupbones all over Tha Puerto Rican’s body. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” COACH Cuban Wall is going to leave Tha Puerto Rican’s body black and blue tomorrow! Serves him right for stealing his Title shot at AngleMania VII away! COLE Cuban Wall, the 2008 Lethal Rumble winner, but as of last week he is no longer the #1 Contender to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! Instead, the #1 Contender is the man Wall is beating up, Tha Puerto Rican! COACH PRL and Colombian Heat ruined the dream of an all-CORPORATE AngleMania main event! Heat’s already paid for that, Tha Puerto Rican’s gonna pay for it right now! COLE I think the only one who was having that dream was you, Coach. Cuban Wall grabs Tha Puerto Rican and scoops him up into a fallaway slam position. Wall runs over to a neutral turnbuckle corner, ramming Tha Puerto Rican’s back into the turnbuckle in the process. Cuban Wall then runs over to the opposite neutral corner, ramming Tha Puerto Rican’s back into that turnbuckle in the process. Wall then runs over to The People’s Team’s corner, ramming PR’s back into the turnbuckle, and then stopping to taunt Zack Malibu. Zack sneers at Wall. Cuban Wall then runs over to The Corporate Team’s corner, and rams PRL’s back into the turnbuckle HARD! He then finishes it off with a powerslam onto the mat! COLE Cuban Wall with one of his trademark moves on Tha Puerto Rican! COACH He’s got him now. Wall goes for the cover. 1... 2... KICK OUT! Cuban Wall punches PRL in the face. He then picks Tha Puerto Rican up and takes him over to The Corporate Team corner. He makes the tag to Vitamin X. Wall holds the winded PRL up. Vitamin X starts jukin’ and jivin’. The crowd boos. Vitamin X punches PRL in the face. He punches PRL in the face again. Vitamin X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, and then punches PRL in the face for a third time knocking him down! COACH YEE-HAW! Vitamin X striking big with that! HA! HA! X goes for the cover. 1...2...KICK OUT! X yells at the referee, but then marches on. VX picks Tha Puerto Rican up. He starts jukin’ and jivin’ again. X goes for a punch--BLOCKED! PRL fires with a punch! Then another punch! And then another punch! And then another punch! COLE PRL firing away on his former 2nd-In-Command! COACH Aw crap! PRL goes for another punch--BLOCKED! Vitamin X fires with right hands of his own! COLE And Vitamin X again! Vitamin X’s punches take PRL over to the ropes. Vitamin X grabs PRL’s left hand, and then gives him an Irish whip into the opposite ropes--PRL reverses--hits Vitamin X with a back elbow! PRL waits for Vitamin X to get up. He hits X with a Rock-style punch to the temple, and then grabs X’s left hand and whips him into the opposite ropes--Vitamin X reverses--PRL reverses--PRL scoops Vitamin X up onto his shoulders. Samoan Drop! Afterwards, PRL applauds himself. The crowd cheers. COACH Show off. COLE These people love it when he does that, Coach! COACH Since when? COLE Since November of last year…and maybe even earlier than that! PRL covers Vitamin X. He hooks his legs. ONE! TWO! THREE! LEFT SHOULDER UP!!! COACH Get a tag! Get a tag! Get out of there, X! Vitamin X gets up. When he does, PR’s waiting with a Rock-style punch to the temple! PRL delivers an Irish whip to Vitamin X. VX bounces off of the ropes. PRL puts his head down, so Vitamin X stops in his tracks and kicks PRL right in the face! The kick causes Tha Puerto Rican to stagger right into The Corporate Team’s corner, where the three Corporate members on the ring apron grab ahold of Tha Puerto Rican! Stephen Joseph Popick, Spanish Fly and Cuban Wall all lay into Tha Puerto Rican, but PRL fights back! Punch for Popick! Punch for Wall! Punch for Fly! Another punch for Popick! PRL walks right into a punch from Vitamin X! COLE PRL stopped that mugging from that pack of wolves! COACH Oh shut up. Vitamin X grabs PRL and delivers an Irish whip into the ropes. Vitamin X puts his head down, so Tha Puerto Rican stops in his tracks and kicks Vitamin X right in the face! Vitamin X stumbles around the ring. KICK WHAM P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 COLE P.R. Nightmare! P.R. Nightmare on Vitamin X! He got him! COACH KICK OUT! KICK OUT! KICK OUT! PRL covers Vitamin X. He hooks his left leg. Earl Hebner makes the count. 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Vitamin X has been eliminated from this match! COACH OH DAMNIT! Now we won’t see Princess Stacey for the rest of the night! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 3rd Elimination: Vitamin X (6:38) Eliminated By: Tha Puerto Rican (via pinfall) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, Vitamin X…HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! COLE The People’s Team has finally eliminated someone from The Corporate Team! It’s now 3-on-2 in favour of The Corporate Team! COACH That’s all right. The Corporate Team’s still got the advantage! 3-on-2! Spanish Fly enters the ring and attacks Tha Puerto Rican while Princess Stacey helps Vitamin X out of the ring. Fly hammers on PRL, until PRL blocks a punch and fires with some of his own! The crowd comes to life again. PRL with The Rock-style punches to the temple. PR’s punches take Spanish Fly into the ropes. PRL gives him an Irish whip into the opposite ropes. PRL goes for a clothesline, Spanish Fly ducks, PRL goes into the opposite ropes, Spanish Fly nails PRL with a spinning wheel kick! COACH That’s it! It’s going to be 3-on-1 now! Spanish Fly covers PRL, hooking his right leg. Earl Hebner counts. 1! 2! 3! PSYCH! LEFT SHOULDER UP! COACH Damn! Princess Stacey helps Vitamin X to the back as Spanish Fly argues at Earl Hebner over the count. Zack Malibu looks on with a serious look on his face as Spanish Fly stomps on PRL. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” Fly picks Tha Puerto Rican up and applies a front facelock on him. He cinches the hold tight. Fly walks with PRL over to his corner and makes the tag to Stephen Joseph Popick. Fly holds PRL up so that Popick can kick PRL right in the stomach! Popick runs over and hits Zack Malibu with a back elbow! Zack enters the ring, but is held back by Earl Hebner! As the referee holds Zack back, Popick drags PRL over to The Corporate Team corner so that he and Cuban Wall can stomp on PRL’s back! The crowd boos! COLE And look at this! The Corporation once again using their team tactics on Tha Puerto Rican! COACH This is something he’s gotten mighty used to hasn’t he? COLE PRL was SCREWED at Anglepalooza but he got a measure of revenge last week, winning the Title shot at AngleMania VII in that incredible Ultimate X Match against Spanish Fly! He will meet the winner of Popick/Heat at AngleMania VII in 6 weeks! COACH He is SOOOO screwed come AngleMania! Cuban Wall scrapes his right boot across Tha Puerto Rican’s face. Cuban Wall then exits the ring and gets back on the ring apron, so that Popick can make the tag to Wall. COLE Wall in now. Zack Malibu goes back to his corner, no harm no foul. Meanwhile, Cuban Wall picks Tha Puerto Rican up. He scoops Puerto onto his shoulders…and hits a Death Valley Driver on him! Wall goes for the cover. 1...2...KICK OUT!!! Bohemoth is still watching from the entrance stage. Zack Malibu’s attention is still focused on the match. Cuban Wall picks Tha Puerto Rican up and takes him over to the corporate corner where he makes the tag to Spanish Fly. Wall holds PRL up so that Spanish Fly can kick him in the gut. Fly nails PRL over the head with a clubberin’ forearm, and then chops him across the chest! *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Spanish Fly whips PRL into the ropes--PRL reverses--Spanish Fly bounces off of the ropes--PRL kicks Spanish Fly in the gut and then hooks him up, giving him a Cradle DDT to a pop! COLE PRL with the Esto Daño De La Cogida De La Voluntad! And both men are down! PRL and Spanish Fly both lie on the mat, Spanish Fly face down, PRL flat on his back. The crowd is at a fever pitch, rooting The P.R. Menace on. COLE PRL with a desperation maneuver! COACH Oh! Right on Spanish Fly’s head! Right on his face! Zack Malibu looks on as Earl Hebner begins his 10 count. “ONE!” “TWO!” “THREE!” “FOUR!” COLE PRL only has one person to tag to, Spanish Fly has two! Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick roots Spanish Fly on. The crowd chants for Tha Puerto Rican. “FIVE!” Tha Puerto Rican starts moving. COLE Who will make the tag first? Spanish Fly starts moving. COACH COME ON FLY! COME ON LITTLE BUDDY! COME ON! Tha Puerto Rican inches closer to his corner. COLE Zack has got his hand out! Spanish Fly inches closer to his corner. COACH So do Popick and Wall! PRL makes the hot tag to Zack Malibu. “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH Oh no! COLE Here comes The Franchise of the OAOAST! Cuban Wall tries to attack Zack, and gets hit with a punch! Zack takes down Spanish Fly with one punch! Stephen Joseph Popick enters the ring, and he gets knocked down with one punch! COLE Right hands from the Pissed Off Prep! Popick gets up, and gets taken down with one punch! Cuban Wall charges forward, and gets hit with another punch! Likewise for Spanish Fly! Popick gets hit with *another* punch knocking him down! Zack sees Cuban Wall is resting on the ring ropes, so Zack charges forward and jumps up, hitting Cuban Wall with a clothesline which sends him over the top rope and onto the floor! Zack then holds onto the top ring rope and Skins The Cat back in! Zack sees Popick resting on the ring ropes, so Zack charges forward and clotheslines Stephen Joseph Popick over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE And there goes Popick! COACH No! Zack tells PRL something. PRL is still on the mat so he slowly gets up. Zack punches Spanish Fly in the face several times dazing the little man. PRL walks over and Zack tells him something else. PRL nods his head. COLE What’s this? Tha Puerto Rican grabs Spanish Fly’s right hand. Zack Malibu grabs Spanish Fly’s left hand. Together, the two men give Spanish Fly an Irish whip into the opposite ropes. Spanish Fly runs forward, bounces off of the opposite ropes, and rushes forward… *KA-POW~!* *KA-POW~!* RIGHT INTO A DOUBLE SUPERKICK FROM PRL AND ZACK MALIBU~!!!!!!!!!!!111 COLE Oh my~! Stereo Superkicks from Tha Puerto Rican and Zack Malibu! COACH AAAAHHH! COLE A Sweet Chin Music AND a School’s Out to Spanish Fly at the same time! COACH This isn’t fair! COLE I think that’s the first double team move from PRL and Zack Malibu EVER! COACH This isn’t right! Zack Malibu covers Spanish Fly, hooking his left leg, while PRL watches to make sure no Corporate Team member interferes. Earl Hebner counts, along with the crowd. ONE! TWO! THREE! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE And Spanish Fly is gone! COACH ARGH! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 4th Elimination: Spanish Fly (8:45) Eliminated By: Zack Malibu (via pinfall) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, Spanish Fly…HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! COLE We got an even playing field now! 2-On-2! Stephen Joseph Popick and Cuban Wall for The Corporate Team! Zack Malibu and PRL for The People’s Team! COACH Oh come on Corporate Team! Lay the CORPORATE smackdown on them! Cuban Wall kicks Zack Malibu in the back of the head! He stomps on Zack Malibu as Earl Hebner orders Spanish Fly to leave the ring. Bohemoth just watches with a serious expression on his face, while Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick nods her head and smiles evilly. POPICK That’s right, Wall! That’s it! That’s it! Cuban Wall hammers away at Zack Malibu’s head! Wall picks the stunned Zack up and whips him into the opposite ropes. Zack reverses, Wall bounces off of the ropes, Zack goes for a clothesline, Cuban Wall ducks, runs forward, bounces off of the ropes, right into a dropkick from Zack! Cuban Wall stumbles, but does not fall, so Zack bounces off of the ropes with another dropkick! Cuban Wall stumbles, but does not fall. So, Zack bounces off of the ropes one more time and nails Wall with a third dropkick, which sends Wall into the ring ropes! Malibu grabs Wall, punches him, and then whips him into a neutral corner. Zack then charges forward with a flying clothesline in the corner on Wall! COLE It’s down to 2-On-2! PRL and Malibu against Stephen Joseph Popick and Cuban Wall! What a war this has been! The match continues until one team has been entirely eliminated! Colombian Heat and The Mad Cappa gone from The People’s Team! Spanish Fly and Vitamin X gone from The Corporate Team! Zack punches Wall some more, and then whips him into the ropes--NO--Cuban Wall reverses--Zack Malibu bounces off of the ropes, Cuban Wall puts his head down, so Zack fires with a swinging neckbreaker on the big man! COLE Zack counters with a spinning neckbreaker! COACH DAMN! Zack picks Cuban Wall up. Wall scratches Zack in the eyes! Wall punches Zack in the face several times. Zack staggers around the ring following the shots. COLE And Cuban Wall with those big right hands. Zack has fought his share of big men in the past, and he’ll fight another one at AngleMania VII in Bohemoth! COACH Speaking of which, what the hell is he doing out here!? COLE I don’t know, Coach. After what they’ve been through over the past few weeks, who knows? Cuban Wall punches Zack Malibu in the face several times. He then turns Zack around, grabs him in a waistlock, and then rushes forward with him into the ropes. Cuban Wall rolls Zack Malibu up! NO! Zack Malibu rolls Cuban Wall up! He hooks the legs! Earl Hebner counts! 1! 2! 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COACH WHAT!? COLE He got him! COACH No! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 5th Elimination: Cuban Wall (9:57) Eliminated By: Zack Malibu (via pinfall) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, Cuban Wall…HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! COLE The Corporate Team is down to just one man! The captain, the leader, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! Zack wastes no time, grabbing Popick by his head and throwing him over the top rope and onto the mat! Popick gets up, and Zack knocks him down with one punch! Popick gets up again! Zack knocks him down again! Popick gets up. Zack knocks him down again! Lather, rinse, repeat 3 times. Zack punches Popick all over the ring. COLE They’ve been friends, they’ve been enemies, they’ve both been here since the beginning and they are going at it once again! Zack whips Popick into the ropes. Flying clothesline on Popick! Stephen Joseph crawls over to his corner. Zack goes to pick him up…and gets poked in the eyes! COLE Ugh! The referee didn’t see it because Lindsay was distracting him! COACH Can you blame him for being distracted!? I mean LOOK AT HER! COME ON! Earl Hebner turns his attention back to Zack and Popick as Lindsay hops off of the ring apron. Stephen Joseph takes control, grabbing Zack and punching him in the face several times. As he does this, a smile starts to form on his face, a sinister smile that is. “LET’S GO ZACK!” “LET’S GO ZACK!” “LET’S GO ZACK!” “LET’S GO ZACK!” Popick grabs Zack and gives him a high angle neckbreaker! Popick goes for the cover. 1... 2... KICK OUT!!! COACH Just quit, Malibu! COLE How long have you’ve been in the OAOAST, Coach? SJP argues with the referee over the count. But he marches on. Stephen Joseph picks the dazed Zack Malibu up and punches him in the face several times. COLE The current OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion in control of a perennial Title contender! COACH It’ll be a long time before Zack gets another shot if Popick has his way. COLE Considering his corporate connections…you may be right about that! COACH I’m always right. Stephen Joseph taunts The Franchise as he punches him in the face. “POP-ICK SUCKS!” “POP-ICK SUCKS!” “POP-ICK SUCKS!” “POP-ICK SUCKS!” COACH HE DOES NOT SUCK! COLE These fans in Detroit letting Popick know just how they feel about him! Popick chuckles at the chant. He punches Zack some more near the ropes. Stephen Joseph Popick grabs Zack Malibu’s right hand, and then gives him an Irish whip into the opposite ropes--Zack Malibu reverses-- POPICK GOES RUNNING RIGHT INTO A SPINEBUSTER FROM BOHEMOTH~!!!!!!!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Whoa! COACH WHAT IS HE DOING!? COLE Bohemoth with a Spinebuster on the World Heavyweight Champion! COACH This is not November Reign, you idiot! This is HeldDOWN~! in February! Bohemoth stands up and smiles at Zack. Zack is shocked at Bohemoth’s appearance, as is Tha Puerto Rican and the fans! Also shocked is Earl Hebner, who yells out something. COLE Bohemoth has interfered! He was apparently helping Zack right there! COACH ‘Helping’ him? Oh poor gullible Cole. It’s obvious what Bohemoth is doing. COLE And what’s that? COACH Uh…I dunno. Earl Hebner exits the ring and walks over to Michael Buffer. Earl Hebner tells Buffer something. Buffer nods his head. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, I have just been informed that Zack Malibu has been DISQUALIFIED for outside interference! Therefore, Zack Malibu…HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH Wow. What a lucky break! COLE Bohemoth’s interference cost Zack! He is now eliminated from this contest! We are down to just two men! COACH What if that was Bohemoth’s intention all along? COLE Now come on! You’re looking too much into it! COACH Am I, Cole? Am I? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 6th Elimination: Zack Malibu (11:05) Eliminated By: N/A (via disqualification) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bohemoth looks at Zack and then exits the ring. Zack is stunned at his elimination. But his shock turns into ANGER really quickly. Malibu quickly zooms out of the ring and grabs Bohemoth, turning the big man around to offer him a piece of his mind. Bohemoth just stands there and listens to Zack, a cool calm expression on his face. COLE Zack is questioning Bohemoth on his motives for coming out here! COACH Isn’t it obvious? COLE Coach, I’m not too sure. COACH Come on, Cole! It’s so simple even YOU can understand it! His motive was very clear in my book! Zack continues expressing his anger at Bo for causing Zack to be disqualified. As Zack goes off, referees and OAOAST Road Agents hit the scene, holding the two back before it gets ugly. COLE Referees, officials out here trying to prevent any ruckus from happening between these two! COACH They won’t do any good. These two men are ready to explode BEFORE AngleMania! COLE They just might. And we still got a match going on inside the ring! PRL and Popick are the last men left standing, the two men who MIGHT meet at AngleMania VII for the World Title! COACH They WILL. Heat’s got no chance next Thursday! More referees and OAOAST Road Agents hold Zack Malibu and Bohemoth back. Meanwhile, back inside of the ring, Tha Puerto Rican is laying the smackdown on Stephen Joseph Popick with Rock-style punches to the temple! COLE PRL in control of his former manager and “Career Consultant”. COACH Who holds two more World Titles than PRL ever will! HA! HA! PRL punches Popick in the face. Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! Popick goes down! Tha Puerto Rican picks Stephen Joseph up, taunts him, gives him a middle finger salute, and then grabs Popick by his left hand and gives him an Irish whip into the opposite ropes--NO--Popick reverses--PRL rushes forward, bounces off of the ropes-- AND GETS HIT IN THE BACK WITH THE OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP BELT BY MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ-POPICK! COLE Hey! Wait a minute! COACH Lindsay! Way to go girl! PRL stumbles forward…right into an inside cradle from Stephen Joseph Popick! COLE The referee didn’t see it! COACH Here it comes! COLE No! Earl Hebner counts. 1... 2... 2.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (12:14) “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH Popick pinned PRL! Stephen Joseph Popick pinned Tha Puerto Rican! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 7th Elimination: Tha Puerto Rican (12:14) Eliminated By: Stephen Joseph Popick (via pinfall) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TEH WINNORS~!: The Corporate Team ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, Tha Puerto Rican…HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! Therefore, the sole survivor of this match…STEPHEN JOSEPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH POPIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KKKK! “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds begins playing. Stephen Joseph Popick raises his hands in victory. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick slides the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt into the ring so that her husband can grab it. COLE Stephen Joseph Popick is the sole survivor! Stephen Joseph Popick and The Corporate Team win the match! COACH YA-HOO! Stephen Joseph Popick grabs the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and hugs it. He then raises it over his head to LOUD boos. Lindsay applauds her husband on the outside. COLE With a little help from his wife, Stephen Joseph has last eliminated Tha Puerto Rican to pick up the victory for his team! COACH Behind every great man is a great woman! COLE Yeah, and behind every cheater is his cheating wife! COACH Oh will you stop!? Popick sits on his knees with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his right hand. When he sees Tha Puerto Rican lunge after him, Popick zooms out of the ring and into the arms of his wife. Stephen Joseph hugs Lindsay and gives her a big kiss on the lips. Both Popicks then look at PRL and laugh maniacally. Lindsay sticks her tongue out while Stephen does the “You can’t see me!” hand gesture. COLE A big victory not just for Stephen Joseph Popick, but for the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation! The Corporation able to bounce back from last week’s devastating loss to pick up a HUGE victory here tonight in Detroit on HeldDOWN~! COACH Popick pinned Tha Puerto Rican! He beat Tha Puerto Rican tonight, and he’s gonna do it again at AngleMania! I can’t wait! COLE You are going to have to wait one more week before you can officially say that, Coach. We still got a Title Match to get through next Thursday night! Tha Puerto Rican’s best friend, Colombian Heat, will be try to wrestle the OAOAST Title away from Popick and make it PR-Heat at AngleMania VII! COACH Yeah, like that will ever happen. COLE Heat’s surprised us before, Coach. COACH But not this time. This time things WILL go as expected! AngleMania VII. Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. March 30th. PR-Popick for the World Heavyweight Title. That’s going to be a classic! COLE We shall see in 7 more days, Coach. Stephen Joseph Popick hugs Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick while holding the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt with his left hand. The Popicks laugh maniacally as “No Chance In Hell” continues playing. Both Popicks taunt a PISSED OFF PRL. Meanwhile, Zack Malibu sees Popick celebrating and has an annoyed look on his face. COLE And Zack Malibu is still out here. Still being held apart from Bohemoth. COACH Zack and Bo are gonna kill each other at any moment! COLE We might not even have to wait until AngleMania, Coach! Zack and Bo start arguing with each other. Referees and OAOAST Road Agents continue standing in between the two OAOAST Superstars. Meanwhile, Stephen Joseph Popick and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick continue taunting Tha Puerto Rican and laughing manically. Tha Puerto Rican gives The Popicks the McMahon SNEER~! He yells at them, the but the happily married couple just laugh it off as the crowd boos. COLE Stephen Joseph Popick wins the match! He has defeated Tha Puerto Rican, the #1 Contender to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship, and his possible opponent at OAOAST AngleMania VII live from L.A.! The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation, The Corporate Team, picks up the win in this 8-Man Survivor Series Elimination Match! Stephen Joseph Popick is the sole survivor! What effect will this match have on the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title Match between Stephen Joseph Popick and Colombian Heat next Thursday night? And what effect will this match have on Zack Malibu and Bohemoth as they gear up for their one-on-one showdown at OAOAST AngleMania VII on Sunday March 30th!? We’ll be right back with more right after this! Zack Malibu and Bohemoth are still arguing with each other. Referees and OAOAST Road Agents continue holding them back, preventing any fisticuffs from flying. Stephen Joseph Popick raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in the air with his right hand and smiles evilly along with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick. Lindsay points to her husband with her left hand and has an evil grin on her face. The Popicks laugh manically. Stephen Joseph Popick and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick taunt Tha Puerto Rican while the crowd boos loudly and “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds continues playing over the P.A. system. Tha Puerto Rican spews venom at The Popicks inside of the ring. This is the last image that we see before we fade out. FADE OUT * COMMERCIAL BREAK *

Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime The Enterprise presents... In association with the OAOAST and TSM "Reel Talk is filmed before a live studio audience." Executive Producer Theodore Moneymaker Casting Couch Ned Blanchard Security CPA Produced & Directed By Simon Singleton "BOOOOOOOOO *canned applause* OOOOOOOOOOO!" The curtain rises and there waiting for us is… GUEST STAR JIVIN' JR As is the custom on a sitcom, the guest star receives a warm reception from the live audience. The Boomer Sooner tips his cap/hat to the OAOAST faithful on hand before heading to the VIP Lounge as Ned Blanchard picks up their drinks at the bar, taking a moment to flirt with the barmaids. NED Blanchard notices he’s on live and rushes over to the lounge, psyching out Jivin’ JR on a high five attempt as the LED screen high above displays the up-to-date total number of women Ned has slept with in his quest to break Wilt Chamberlain‘s historic record of 20,000: CHASING CHAMBERLAIN 2,008 happy -- and very sore -- bitches! ^ 125 from last December NED It’s time once again for everybody to get REEL and TALK about the issues you truly care about. Ned Blanchard, your handsome host, back live and in living color after spending the last month training hard across this great land of ours, evident by the sign overhead. And for all you ladies overseas, I’ll be catching up with you on the OAOAST’s annual world tour in April and May. But I’m joined this week by guest co-host, the original voice of the OAOAST, an Okie who fell on hard times after the IZ-HD merger of ‘04, the man, the myth, the legend himself, Jivin’ JR! JIVIN’ JR Well Ned, it’s a real pleasure to be here filling in for your partner Simon Singleton who’s keeping the director’s seat warm in the truck as Molly is feeling a bit under the weather this week. I know I speak on behalf of everyone in wishing that young lady a speedy recovery. "BOOOOOOOOO *canned applause* OOOOOOOOOOO!" NED Absolutely. Get well soon Molly. Simon and I miss mentally tag teaming you. * canned laughter * NED Anyway, good to have you with us Jivin’ JR. You know, folks, it’s been awhile since you’ve had the opportunity to engage in some Reel Talk so let’s get right to business. What do you say JR? Presidential politics? The situation in Cuba and Kosovo? JIVIN’ JR AS GOD IS MY WITNESS…NEITHER! I’m a meat and potatoes type of guy. Those are major news stories to be sure, but all that pales in comparison -- and I think fans would agree -- to what’s going on in the OAOAST. NED Why didn’t I think of that? You’re exactly right. With AngleMania coming up the rear… * canned laughter * NED …and the Leap Year Spectacular next week, the OAOAST will be all over the news. So then let us talk about OAOAST related issues, particularly the Leap Year Spectacular because it’ll host the 2008 Anderson Cup Finals with my guests on the hippest and most happening talk show known to man or alien life form. Say JR, what’s your take on the AC Finals? HOT NEWZ Reel Talk confirms the OAOAST has signed a Sin City Street Fight between the Heavenly Rockers and Lone Star Gunslingers for the OAO World Tag Team Championship at the Leap Year Spectacular. Log on to OAOAST.com for more information. JIVIN’ JR It’s gonna be a real slobber knocker, Ned. I look for Rick and Scott to try and use their strength to their advantage and for Charlie Hass and Shelton Benjamin to employ a hit-and-run offensive style. Both have tremendous amateur wrestling credentials, with the slight edge going to Team Heyross. NED Rick and Scott? Charlie Hass and Shelton Benjamin? Who the hell are they? Have you been hitting the sauce again? JIVIN’ JR Is so damn good! Unable to control himself any longer, JR pops open a bottle of his world famous BBQ SAUCE and gulps it down! “CHUG!” “CHUG!” “CHUG!” Jivin’ JR tears his shirt off and parties in the stands with the fans, pouring BBQ sauce down brave souls throats as the OU fight song blares in the background. The music fades and we cut back to Ned at the lounge. NED I guess that does it for him, but not for me. Before I bring out my guests, there’s a very important person I’d like to introduce to you at this time. For years he served as the enforcer of the Horsemen -- the Enterprise of their day, only not as rich and sexy -- and held the tag team championship with 4 different partners. Younger fans know him better as the man the OAOAST named its tag tournament after. Ladies and gentlemen… ARN ANDERSON! Standing ovation for Double A, his arms raised holding up the legendary 4 fingers. NED Welcome to the show, old man. ARN Old man? NED Hey, no disrespect meant. But you are old. ARN I may be old, but like fine wine I get better with age, Blanchard. So I suggest you watch your attitude or I just might have to adjust it for you. "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" NED We’re cool. We’re cool. No reason to get all fired up. I don’t want your pacemaker to short-circuit on live television. Let’s get to the reason why you’re out here. The 2008 Anderson Cup Finals is next week and I want to get your thoughts the Sooner Bruisers/Team Heyross match up. I know it’s hard to get excited about the AC with the Beverly Hills Blonds out of it but please try anyway. ARN That reminds me. What happened to you and Simon? Oh, that’s right. You got eliminated in the first round by the Christ Air Express. "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" NED ARN But to answer your question, I think Jivin’ JR summarized it pretty well. You have what many people consider to be the most psychically dominating tag team in OAOAST history against, in my humble opinion, the best pound for pound tag team in professional wrestling today, Charlie Moss and Quentin Benjamin. It makes for a heck of a match up. One I look forward to seeing next week on the Leap Year Spectacular. NED If you had to pick me a winner right now, who would it be? And don’t let the fact I’m about to bring out both teams influence your decision. ARN Boy, I tell ya, it’s hard. It really is. That’s how evenly matched they are. NED Way to go out on a limb there, buddy. And now, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the 2008 Anderson Cup finalists, the MWC and Los Infernales Conference Champions… THE SOONER BRUISERS and TEAM HEYROSS! Both teams receive a mixed reaction as they walk onto the set from opposite sides, each acknowledging the presence of Arn Anderson. Now face to face they surprise Ned by shaking hands in a sign of respect. NED Aw, isn’t that sweet? Big Frank, I’ll start with you since you have the reputation of being semi controversial. One more W and the Sooner Bruisers are going to AngleMania to face the One & Only World tag team champions, whoever that may be. BIG FRANK Confident as we are, the job ain’t done yet. Moss, Benjamin, people might say you’re great, and we can appreciate your wrestling ability…but you don’t have the size and you damn sure ain’t got the muscle to hang with me and my brother. The fact is, we’re former World tag team champions, having ran roughshod over the tag div-- BENJAMIN Here we go again. This is what I was talking about last week. From the championship committee to every tag team on the roster, Charlie and I have never gotten the respect we’ve deserved. Respect isn’t given, it’s earned, right? Well that’s exactly what we’ve been doing since this tournament began. And people are finally starting to notice, from that same championship committee to even the fans. "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" MOSS We know it’s going to be a war next week, but there aren’t too many people in this world that can say they’ve made grown men cry just by placing them in a front facelock. UBER You think you could make one of us cry? Last time I checked neither one of our names was Brock Lesnar. No hold will cause us to panic or even break a sweat. MOSS Maybe I can’t get either one of you to cry, but I know I can get one of you to cry uncle once I slap on the Mossy Knoll. BIG FRANK I don’t know about you, but we’re in no hurry. Why don’t you try to make us cry uncle right now?! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Off go the shirts and hoodies, as both teams are ready to start the AC Finals a week early, pushing and shoving one another. Arn Anderson and a herd of officials try to keep the peace while Ned pleads to “Let them fight!” “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” The peace is kept but the fans don’t like it and neither does Ned. NED That sucks. Let them raise hell. It’s good for ratings! Well, I guess that’s a wrap. Until next time, Ned Blanchard telling you to keep it Reel Talk. BACK TO SOFA CENTRAL COLE Our, ahem, thanks to Ned Blanchard for weaseling his way into an interview with the Anderson Cup finalists. Certainly some bad blood developing between those two teams, and with so much at stake can you really say that wasn't expected. Last year's losing finalist, Los Diablos, didn't even make Anglemania, and were off television for months afterwards. Just making the finals isn't enough, you have got to win. Well, folks, when we come back its eight man survivor series action! Please stay tuned! COMMERCIAL

OAOAST HeldDOWN is brought you by.... yo, I'd take a bullet for this nigga, trill live talk. "PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!" ...WAAAAAHHHHH... *DUM DUM* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Ten man tag team action, let's go to the ring! As "Megalomaniac" blasts through the arena, the entrance way becomes a sea of humanity as out pile the entire force of Cucaracha Internacional. One extra body is in there somewhere this week, as Landon Maddix makes sure to point out, Todd Cortez stands with his head down and a Cucaracha Internacional t-shirt on, just like his team-mates. All except Faqu, of course. BUFFER This ten man tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! On the way to the ring, team number one. Total combined weight, one THOUSAND, one hundred and eighty one pounds! The team of "THE TRENDSETTER" JAMES BLONDE... "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL", FAQUUUUUUU... "THE URBAN LEGEND" TODD CORTEZ... NATHANIEL BLACK... and, being accompanied by his manager, MEGAN SKYE! He is the former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion... LANDON... "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMMAAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIXXXXXXX!! Together, they comprise the team known as... CUCARACHA... INTERNACIONAL!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Blonde pulls open his faux fur coat to flash the new t-shirt, available at OAOAST.com today! The fivesome make their seperate ways into the ring, with Todd keeping a noticeable distance from the rest. COLE So, Cucaracha Internacional to team together in full for the first time here tonight on HeldDOWN~! And as you can see, they welcome a new member to the ranks. Todd Cortez, after he lost last week in controversial circumstances I might add, now forced to be a part of Cucaracha Internacional and once again follow the lead of Landon Maddix. COACH You know, you did this last week and you're still on it, making that sound like a bad thing. COLE And I'm wrong about that? COACH The best place for Todd Cortez is under the tutelage of La Cucaracha. Lets face it, he was never going to make it on his own. Now he's back with Landon, just like he was in Martial Law, just like The Wildcards. Count the number of titles he won back then, compare with the number he won since he went off on his own. Discuss. The six members of Cucaracha Internacional all watch on from the ring, as "God Of Thunder" by KISS blares out and the first of the opponents heads out. Yellow strobe lights pick out Thunderkid in the otherwise darkened arena, marching to the ring with a purpose. BUFFER And, the opponents! First, from Green Bay, Wisconsin... weighing two hundred, fifty pounds... THHUUUUUUUUUUNNDDEEEEEERRRR - KKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDD!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" As soon as TK hits ringside, "Fix Up, Look Sharp" replaces his music and Jamie O'Hara marches out to join him. Hey, no time to hang around. BUFFER Weighing in at one hundred and eighty three pounds and hailing from Birmingham, England... he is "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY"... JJAAAAAAMMIIIIIIEEEEEE O'HHHHHAAAAAAARRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" O'Hara is all but ready to hit the ring at first, but thinks better of it as he sees the numbers. Instead he pitches up next to Thunderkid, the two nodding to each other in a show of respect. COLE How Jamie O'Hara would love to finally get his hands on Nathaniel Black tonight. COACH And vice versa. .:CUE: "Love Generation", Bob Sinclar:. If Thunderkid and O'Hara got warm receptions then the crowd reach boiling point for the arrival of the Six Man Tag Team Champions. Leading the way is Jade Rodez, with the amped up boybanders Tyler and Shayne on either side fuelling the fires of the crowd in the Joe Louis Arena. Behind them is Leon Rodez, much cooler about the homecoming than the others and simply waving to a couple of sections of the crowd before they're all pointed on to the ring. BUFFER And, the final members of the team! They are accompanied to the ring by Ms. JADE RODEZ! At a total combined weight of five hundred and ninety nine pounds... the current OAOAST Six Man Tag Team Champions! Hailing from the state of MICHIGAN... "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE BRAVE and "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRYANT, they are D*LLLUUUUUXXXXXX!! And, their tag team partner. He is Silky Smooth, he is "LUSCIOUS" LEON RODEZ!! Together, are the LLLOOOOOOOOVVEEEEE GGEEENNEEERRRRRRAAAAAAATTIIIIIIOOOOOOOONN!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The five members of Cucaracha Internacional watch on from the floor now as Love Generation slide into the ring and work the turnbuckles. Thunderkid doesn't get involved with the hot-dogging, going through his own warm-ups. And O'Hara just stands by the ropes, mouthing off to Nathaniel Black. The two Brits exchange words while Blonde and Maddix concentrate on keeping Faqu calm until the bell rings. Off at the side, Todd Cortez distances himself from his new stable-mates despite Landon's attempts to get his troops together. COLE What a reaction here in Detroit for the natives of Michigan, D*LUX and Leon Rodez! COACH So they're popular in their home state? Big whoop. COLE Yes, it was a big whoop. I just said that. COACH You're an idiot. The point is, these people are bias. I could get a reaction like that in Kanses. Even you get a reaction in wherever in the hell it was you were spawned. Nobody cares. COLE ...and with that, we're thankfully ready to go. *DINGDINGDING!* After some last minute huddles, it'll be Jamie O'Hara to start out, with James Blonde from the Cucaracha Internacional side. Not what Jamie had hoped for. O'Hara looks right past Blonde to Nathaniel Black, daring him step into the ring. Black shrugs him off, to which O'Hara responds with some double-dog dares! But his pre-occupation with Black ends up distracting The Birmingham Bad Boy, allowing Blonde to get in a quick cheapshot! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Blonde stomps away on O'Hara as Black smirks away in the corner. Pulling O'Hara up, Blonde then sends him into the ropes, ducking his head early for a backdrop. Over the top tumbles O'Hara, landing on his feet and carrying on into the far ropes. Blonde quickly regroups and tries to catch him on the rebound. But O'Hara manages to count the sideslam attempt, bringing Blonde over with a headscissors takedown! COLE Catching Jamie O'Hara is like trying to pour smoke through a keyhole. COACH Who in the world does that anyway? Why would you want to? Rolling through to his feet Blonde charges at O'Hara, but gets sent on into the ropes with a sidestep. Up goes O'Hara with a leapfrog and Blonde sees his chance, putting on the brakes as he goes underneath and waiting for Jamie to land... before running into an elbow! O'Hara then backflips, hooking the head and pulling Blonde over with another headscissors! Love Generation, and to a lesser extent Thunderkid, raise the roof for that. But O'Hara gets a little too ahead of himself and runs right into a knee as he charges Blonde in the corner. Landon bounces around on the apron and indicates that O'Hara just got 'served', while Blonde pushes up onto the middle rope and signs for a DDT. As he reaches out to grab O'Hara though, J'OH suddenly jumps up and catches him in the shoulder with a kick! COACH AH! Hang on... Blonde grabs the rope to avoid falling to the floor. His stay on the ropes doesn't last long anyway though, as O'Hara leaps to the middle rope, springboarding off and pulling Blonde from the buckles with yet another headscissor variation! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE Wow! Blonde brought down the hardway right there! O'Hara tries an early cover... 1... 2... Kickout. Tag is made to Tyler Bryant, getting a loud scream of approval from the crowd. Tyler kicks Blonde in the exposed midsection before taking over from O'Hara, whipping Blonde to the ropes and connecting with a beautiful standing dropkick! 1... 2... Kickout. Undettered, Tyler takes a moment to appeal to the crowd as he pulls Blonde up again. Realising he's in trouble though, Blonde quickly goes to the gut with a knee and scrambles to the corner, getting the tag to Nathaniel Black. COLE Well, Black had no problem coming in that time, with O'Hara out on the apron. COACH He marches to the beat of his own drum, Michael. He's not going to step into the ring just because some scrawny little punk is mouthing off at him to do so. Making a far from auspicious start, Black runs right into an armdrag from Tyler and finds himself locked in an armbar. The European technician has few problems finding his way out of that though. Pushing the hand into the jaw, he forces the head back, allowing him to kick up and trap Tyler in a headscissors. Tyler manages to escape that with a kip-up though and beats Black to his feet, meeting him with a dropkick! A second dropkick puts Black back down! And a third, sending Black rolling right back to Cucaracha Internacional territory! COLE Black tried to go to the mat where he's most comfortable, but Tyler had other ideas. And that series of dropkick has got Black all bent out of shape! Scowling, Black reaches up and tags out to Landon. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Giving a thumbs up to a completely unresponsive Todd Cortez, Landon steps in... ...and takes a step back, as Tyler reaches out and tags in Leon Rodez. "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh, how about this for a showdown! The Face Of The Year and the 'Rudo' Of The Year. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" With the Michigan crowd solidly behind their favourite son (Grand Rapids, Detroit, same dif.), Landon doesn't look quite so confident all of a sudden and urges Leon to settle down. The two circle, coming together in a collar and elbow tie-up. Landon quickly grabs a headlock and just as quickly gets shot off into the ropes, coming back with enough momentum to knock Leon down with a shoulderblock. Inexplicably, Maddix does the DAS WUNDERKID~! dance over Leon, to applause from... well, one of his team-mates at least, James Blonde. COLE What in the world was that about!? Done dancing, Landon backs into the ropes again. Leon flips over and forces Landon to hurdle him, quickly up to meet him on the rebound, looking for a hiptoss. Showing great agility, Maddix lands on his feet. He then leaps up looking for a monkey flip... only for Rodez to show similar agility, landing on HIS feet! Unaware of this, Landon stands up with a smile, only to be confronted by Leon doing the CARLTON BANKS FROM THE FRESH PRINCE~! dance!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COACH Are they tryin' to out-white each other or something? For some reason, Maddix takes great exception to this and charges looking for a double axehandle. Leon quickly ducks behind with a schoolboy... 1... 2... No! Landon quickly gets to his feet, faked out with a right hand and caught with a backslide as he ducks his head... 1... 2... No! Again Maddix is quickly back up and quickly back doubled over, courtesy of an Inverted Atomic Drop. Leon then tumbles over top, bringing down Landon with a sunset flip... 1... 2... NO! Finally Landon manages to cut off Leon's offence as he lands a quick boot to the gut. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Boy, did Landon need that. COACH Well, it was smart. One opening and he took it, that's the mark of a true champion, a former World Champion. COLE And Todd Cortez, not looking too encouraging to his supposed 'buddy' as he watches on from the apron. With his bearings back, Landon pops Leon in the jaw with a quick forearm. And a second. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Before cracking him with a knifedge chop, draping Leon over the ring ropes. Wringing out an arm, Landon whips Leon and with a confident clap of the hands he goes up for a a Dropsau... CAUGHT! Leon catches the legs and as Maddix hits the mat, he tries to turn him over in the Liontamer! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Unfortunately for Leon, James Blonde reacts and rushes into the ring to break the attempt up. Clubbing Leon in the back he then pins his arms back, holding him in place as Landon gets back up. Landon smiles, seeing that Leon is defenceless as he rears back... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...or, perhaps not, as Landon ends up cracking Blonde with the chop instead! COACH That's okay, regroup. COLE Okay? He just chopped his own partner! In the middle of apologising to Blonde, Landon almost forgets that he's still got an opponent lurking in the ring with him, snapping around and aiming for Rodez's head with a clothesline. Rodez ducks though... and ducks again... *SLAP!* "AAAAAAHHHHHH!" ...causing Blonde to chop Landon, who squeals out in pain! Hands on hips, Leon watches Maddix and Blonde get into a brief arguement, breaking up the hostilities with a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER~! Leon then switches in front and grabs the waistbands of both Maddix and Blonde's tights, falling backwards and pulling both men forward into STEREO SPRINGBOARD CLOTHESLINES from Shayne Brave and Tyler Bryant!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Tremendous teamwork by the 6-Man Tag Team Champions and this crowd in Detroit absolutely loves it!! COACH You can call it 'teamwork' all you want, but there's no way it's legal. Way too many guys in the ring. COLE Yeah, but one of them was Blonde. And he'd been in the ring about fifteen seconds trying to land a chop! As Cucaracha Internacional head outside to regroup, Faqu tries to get into the ring. With all three of the celebrating member of Love Generation in the ring though, he's wisely kept out of the ring by his team-mates. Landon tries to get a huddle going, easier said than done with a wild Samoan savage and Todd Cortez hanging back away from his 'team-mates'. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" COLE Love Generation standing tall right now... can La Cucaracha rally his troops for the remainder of this huge 10-Man Tag!? We'll find out, when we come back! *COMMERCIAL BREAK* Back from commercial and the answer would seem to be 'no', as Tyler Bryant has things going his way against Landon. Sent off the ropes, Landon manages to duck underneath a clothesline. He then leaps at Tyler Thesz Press style, planting his knees on the thighs and pushing off... but landing face-first on the canvas as Tyler throws him off! COLE Welcome back to Detroit, where the Michigan natives continue to press their home-court advantage! COACH Yeah and there must be every pre-pubescent teen girl in this damn state crammed in here tonight. It's like a Backstreet Boys concert in here, I can barely hear myself think. I don't know how you put up with it, they're not even all that great live! COLE ...says you. With Landon checking his face is still in place, Tyler wrings out the arm and tags out to Thunderkid. COLE And things are getting no easier for La Cucaracha! TK steps in and lands a punch to the ribs. A second. And a third. Landon groans in pain holding his gut and tries to back off, only now realising that he's in the ring with a 250 pound Thunderkid and dropping to his knees in a weak attempt to beg off. By the hair, Thunderkid drags Landon back up and shoots him into the ropes. And with ease he lifts Landon up on the rebound, pressing him over his head to despairing looks from Megan, Blonde and Black (but not Cortez) and dropping him down with a big Press Slam!! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Crawling across the ring, Landon just tries to get away from Thunderkid, finding himself trapped in a neutral corner. But he manages to lure in Thunderkid, close enough to kick out with a boot. Catching TK in the gut, Landon pulls himself up... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and chops Thunderkid... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...twice... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a third time, to very little effect. Realising this, Landon hits another quick kick and runs the ropes. Thunderkid tries to cut him off with the Bicycle Kick... but Maddix ducks, coming off the far ropes with a flying forea... CAUGHT! FALLAWAY SLAM!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Unfortunately for Thunderkid though, Landon lands close to his corner. Close enough that, at least in a 10 Man Tag, he's able to reach out and tag out. Doubly unfortunate, as it's Faqu who he tags. COLE And suddenly, the mood changes. COACH No doubt. Landon did a great job of softening everybody up and lulling them into a false sense of security, now Faqu's going to clean up. COLE Well if anyone is going to match power with Faqu, it's going to be Thunderkid. The Samoan Wrecking Ball stomps in, Thunderkid not backing down at all. With a primal scream Faqu charges, but Thunderkid cuts him off with a right hand. And again. A third. Faqu is staggering under the punches but not going down, so Thunderkid turns and hits the ropes, clubbing him in the chest with a clothesline. Again Faqu staggers but again he doesn't go down. So TK runs the ropes again... *SMACK!* "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...and gets caught in the ear with a Thrust Kick! With his team-mates looking thoroughly pleased with themselves, Faqu then comes off the ropes... COLE LOOK OUT, LOOK OUT! ...BUT HE MISSES A SPLASH!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE Man, Thunderkid barely escaped there! Suddenly the confidence sinks a little in Cucaracha Internacional, as Thunderkid hooks up Faqu, looking for a suplex! The big Samoan refuses to go though and jabs TK in the gut with open hands before reversing and lifting up TK. Floating over the back, Thunderkid lands on his feet and grabs a waistlock on the portly Samoan... BEFORE TAKING HIM UP AND OVER WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX!!!! COACH Whu... HOW!? Nobody can quite believe it, as Thunderkid decides to roll over and get a tag. Leon Rodez comes back into the match and goes right for the cover... 1... 2- Kickout! COLE Impressive show of strength there by Thunderkid. But Faqu, still fresh. It's going to take more than one suplex to put him away I'm afraid. Leon sees how close Faqu is to his corner and tries to drag him out into the centre of the ring. Easier said than done. He soon says nuts to that idea and helps Faqu up, looking for an irish whip. Faqu reverses though, sending Rodez into the ropes... AND INTO A KICK TO THE BACK FROM MADDIX! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" As the protests go up from Leon's team-mates and sister, he stumbles off the ropes and walks into an Overhead Belly To Belly Suplex from Faqu, driving him across the ring! And as urged, Faqu follows up with an attempted pin... 1... 2... NO! Faqu shoots a death-glare at referee Mike Chioda, before dragging Leon over to the corner, allowing Landon to tag back in. COLE All it took was one sneaky kick from the apron. And all of a sudden, Cucaracha Internacional have the advantage in this match. COACH They always had the advantage. They're a team, a fully functioning unit. COLE I don't know about that. Faqu seems to be a law unto his own and it's clear to me that Todd Cortez wants no part of this or anything else to do with Cucaracha Internacional. COACH Then he should have won last week, shouldn't he? Measuring Leon, Landon cracks him with a kick as he reaches his knees. Leon rocks backwards before being pulled up by La Cucaracha, suplexed back to the canvas. Off the ropes, Landon then lands across the chest with a double stomp, bottoming out with a back senton and hooking a leg... 1... 2... NO! COLE Quick combination of moves by Landon there, but not enough. Looking up at his group of followers, Landon cracks a smile as he extends a hand towards Todd Cortez. The Urban Legend, yet to enter the match, glares forward and clearly doesn't want to accept, but realises he has no choice and tags in. The former Martial Law then set Leon up for a double team. A double irish whip sends him to the ropes, Landon connecting with a back elbow to the gut, on his way up and over from a Cortez back bodydrop. Clearly not what he had in mind, Maddix asks Cortez what in the heck he was doing and reiterates his call for a double elbow. Cortez resists the urge to punch Maddix's lights out and instead kicks Leon HARD in the spine, telling Landon it might be time to get out of the ring. COLE A distinct lack of communication on that one. COACH Well, they've not been teaming for a while. It'll take a couple of weeks to work out the kinks, but after that? Look out OAOAST, I say! COLE I'm not sure if Cortez is going to last that long before he's had all he can take. The crowd show Todd little sympathy, mainly because he's up against their hero Leon Rodez. So he drags Leon back up, connecting with a couple of European uppercuts before going to the ribs with a spinning round kick. Rodez doubles over and Cortez then cracks him in the chest with a kick, knocking him off his feet, before marching over to the corner and tagging in James Blonde. COLE I don't think Blonde was expecting that. COACH Like I said, they're getting to know each other, that's all. Cortez takes up his position on the apron again whilst Blonde rushes in and cuts off a tag. Close, Leon reaches out... but Blonde quickly lets him go and nails O'Hara, luring him into the ring and allowing Maddix in illegally to help drag Leon away! Referee Chioda is stuck with all four of Leon's partners, desperately trying to keep order, unaware that order has gone out of the window behind him as four of the five Cucaracha Internacional members work over Rodez in the corner! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" By the time Chioda has cleared the ring the beating has stopped, Leon left sat in the corner with Blonde innocently claiming nothing shady went on. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Pulling LE - ON out of the corner, Blonde hits a snap suplex and covers... 1... 2... No! Tag back in to Landon, who comes in off the top with a fist right to the crown of the head. Landon then takes a moment to taunt towards the opposition corner, mocking Shayne and Tyler's attempts to get some clapping going to route Leon on. Of course, Landon's mocking only makes the crowd more eager to clap, willing Leon to his feet. COLE This Detroit crowd, rallying behind The Grand Rapids Golden Child! COACH Nah, they're just clapping cause the guy next to them is. They don't know what the hell's goin' on, they're just a bunch of sheep. Not impressed, Maddix sneers as he reaches down... and gets a jab to the gut! And another! And another, Leon fighting from below and getting to his feet... but also getting a thumb in the eyes! Leon recoils and clutches at his eyes as Maddix shrugs off the complaints from the referee, jarring The Silky Smooth One with a quick Jawbreaker. Waiting on Leon to turn, Landon then takes a quick run-up and looks for the Cucaracha Cutte... NO! A shove in the back sends Landon off, towards a neutral corner. Maddix throws a boot up and stops himself from colliding with the turnbuckles. But as he turns back around, he runs headlong and right into a Sitout Hiptoss from Rodez to a huge roar of approval!! COLE And now Leon, needs to make the tag! With the clapping and the banging reaching a fever pitch, both Leon and Landon try to do just that, crawling over to their corners... ...tag to Blonde... ...TAG TO O'HARA!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" And O'Hara re-introduces himself into the match with typical style, wiping out Blonde with a Springboard Crossbody Block!! COLE WOAH MY! O'Hara rolls off of Blonde, catching Nathaniel Black coming in with a Spinning Wheel Kick. Not particularly worried about his partners, Cortez realises he needs to act anyway and tries to cut off O'Hara with a clothesline, but runs right into a flipping dropkick! Faqu then barrels forward... but O'Hara sidesteps and The Samoan Wrecking Ball crashes through the ropes and out to the arena floor! COLE Jamie O'Hara has exploded into life here! With Faqu gone, O'Hara goes right after the man he's been waiting to get his hands on, Nathaniel Black. He mounts Black and starts to go to town with some wild lefts and rights. Until, that is, James Blonde grabs a hold of him and pitches him to the floor! He soon follows O'Hara though, thanks to the dual efforts of Tyler Bryant and Shayne Brave. COLE No surprise, this one is spilling out of control. And look out here... Tyler and Shayne get the crowd going, as Faqu, Blonde and O'Hara all climb back up on the outside. The three end up bundled together, mainly thanks to O'Hara's hold on their hair... ...ALLOWING TYLER AND SHAYNE TO SOAR INTO THEM WITH STEREO SUICIDE DIVES!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE A five car pile-up in the Motor City!! D*LUX, Flying Without Wings, and they take out Blonde, Faqu and O'Hara! COACH What a stupid move too. They risked their own hides and they took out one of their partners! All to make the screaming masses happy. As the the five pull themselves up, punches start flying as they slug it out. In the meantime Todd Cortez has picked himself up and has lined up the scene. Off the ropes he comes, pushing himself up and over the top AND WIPING EVERYONE OUT WITH A SOMERSAULT PLANCHA!!! "YYYEEEEEAAAAHHHH!" COLE How about that one, Coach? COACH Yeah. Not too smart either. I don't think Todd cares about the fans though. COLE I doubt he cares much for his partners either, to be fair. With now six on the floor, it's Thunderkid's turn to line up a dive. He waits for everyone to start picking themselves up before turning around and taking off for the ropes... which is when Nathaniel Black rushes out of the corner and lays him out with a Lariat!! COACH Yeah! That's Nate Black for ya! You can stick your Space Flying Tumble Flips, give me a good clothesline any day of the week! Black cradles TK up... 1... 2... Kickout! Black pulls Thunderkid back up and clubs him with two hard European uppercuts. The Englishman then crosses up the arms underneath the body of Thunderkid, looking for the Brittania Bomb! TK fights it though. And he manages to power out an arm, twisting out from underneath Black and hooking him for the THUNDERBOLT DDT... NO! Black drives his knee forward, catching TK in the head and escaping the move. Doing a quick 360, The Englishman then throws the Black Lariat... ...DUCKED! TK avoids the clothesline and quickly hooks the head, driving Black down with the Scorpion Deathdrop!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE That could do it! Before TK can think of going for the pin though, he gets spun around by Landon Maddix. And before he knows what's hit him, Thunderkid gets leant back and pulled into the CRASH LANDON '05!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Jumping to his feet, Landon's brief celebrations are cut short as Leon Rodez rushes towards him. Ducking the line, Landon catches Leon with a quick boot and lifts him onto his shoulders, into a fireman's carry. It's not quite Leon's bedtime yet though and he escapes down the back, scooping Landon up and hitting the Blue Thunder Bomb! COLE IT'S DA BOOM! 1... 2... SAVE BY BLONDE! COLE Right place, right time for James Blonde. And you can thank Faqu for that, he's busy fighting off D*LUX and O'Hara out on the floor. COACH Yes, great teamwork. COLE It's certainly James Blonde's idea of teamwork. Picking himself up, Leon walks into a jab from Blonde. A jab! A jab! Licensed To Thrill, Blonde tumbles behind Rodez... and gets a mule kick in the breadbasket. Spinning around, Leon then gives Blonde a taste of his own medicine with a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels... *SMACK!* ...and nailing The Trendsetter upside the head with the enziguri! COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! Down goes Blonde, but Rodez has little time to relax as he gets caught from behind AND FOLDED IN HALF with a High Angle Back Suplex from The Samoan Wrecking Ball!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH I hope 'Mama' knows a good chiropractor. COLE This is like a scene out of Rambo, bodies going down everywhere you look! COACH They didn't have no monsters like Faqu though. Rambo wouldn't fuck with Faqu. Fact. The big Samoan stands tall for the moment, beating his chest and encouraging Leon to get back to his feet. It's left to Megan to point out to Faqu what's waiting behind him though, as both members of D*LUX have slid into the ring. Tyler and Shayne quickly start teeing off on Faqu as he turns around, alternating right hands before looking to each other and hitting the ropes. Faqu swings for them with a double clothesline, but they duck underneath and quickly skid to a halt, cracking off two quick Superkicks! Hit Me Baby One More Time!! FAQU BLLLLLLAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! *SMACK!* *SMACK!* ...and they do just that as Faqu fails to fall after the first Double Superkick, a second pair of boots enough to drop Faqu and sending him rolling to the outside! COLE They put the bigman down! COACH Yeah, and it took them four superkicks to do. If the referee had any authority, they wouldn't have had chance to pull that kinda stunt. With Cortez and O'Hara doing battle on the floor, D*LUX quickly turn their attentions to Nathaniel Black. A double irish whip sends Black into the corner, D*LUX loading up across the ring. Shayne runs in first... and eats a knee! As he goes down, Black then hops up onto the middle rope, getting some extra momentum on the way down as he runs towards Tyler with a Lariat... DUCKED! Keeping his momentum going, Black again uses the middle turnbuckle as a stepping pad and turns around... *SMACK!* ...EATING A FACEFUL OF YAKUZA KICK!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Black collapses in a heap, while Tyler spots Landon getting up and runs him out of the ring with a clothesline. The momentum takes Tyler up and over the top as well though and they end up in a heap on the floor. Coming off the floor meanwhile is Jamie O'Hara, having got rid of Cortez for long enough to head for the top rope. COLE Look out! O'Hara is up and he's heading all the way up! Black in position below him, are we going to see the 630? Quickly reaching the third floor, O'Hara looks down and flips off Black, before tumbling off the top... ...AND HITTING THE BLAZE OUT 630!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAA...." But O'Hara lands right at the feet of Todd Cortez! And The Urban Legend in a flash spins O'Hara around, pulling him into a standing headscissors AND SPIKING HIM DIRECTLY ON HIS HEAD WITH THE RIOT ACT PLUS!!!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! O'Hara bounces about half a foot off the mat, sending arms flying to mouths all around the arena. The only person not in shock is Todd Cortez, rolling the limp carcass of O'Hara over and hooking a leg... 1... 2... SHAYNE DIVES FOR THE SA... 3!!!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* Falling just short of the save, Shayne holds his head as Megan leaps for joy on the outside. Jade is still as shocked as anyone else in the arena and barely reacts to the defeat for her team. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... the team of CUCARACHA INTERNACIIIOOONNAAAAAALLLLLLL!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Pulling himself up, Cortez has his arm raised in victory but still looks far from enthusiastic about it. His mood doesn't improve as he hears applause from behind him, turning around to see Landon and Megan making a really big deal about congratulating him on a job well done. Raising an eyebrow, Cortez rolls out of the ring... and right past them, the applause dieing down a little as Cortez blows them off and walks off to the back on his own. COACH ...what a team! COLE Oh yeah, you can just feel the love right there. COACH Hey, they won, that's all that matters. Landon promised Todd Cortez success and glory once he came back to his side. And sure enough, who gets the victory? Who gets the pinfall for Cucaracha Internacional? Todd Cortez does! You have to give that man credit, Landon Maddix did exactly what he said he would! What a leader... what a man! COLE You... Cortez won the match, sure. But you're giving Landon the credit? COACH He's the leader, he gets all the credit. After all, who recruited Cortez in the first place? Landon Maddix, that's who. COLE You're too much. Not letting things get him down, Landon celebrates the victory with the rest of his Cucaracha Internacional team-mates as Cortez heads off into the distance. In the ring, Leon watches with a dejected expression, while D*LUX and Thunderkid divide their time between mulling over the loss and checking if Jamie O'Hara is okay. COLE Well, folks, brighter days hopefully ahead for The Love Generation, ThunderKid, and Jamie O'Hara. But right now, Landon Maddix's group looks like they're getting sharper by the day, and that can't bode well for the rest of the OAOAST. As for you fans we'll be back with more after this, including Reel Talk, our eight man survivor series bout, and the mainevent of Alix Maria Spezia and a partner of Krista's choice against The Heavenly Rockers. COMMERCIAL

MATTHEWS Hey everybody, Josh Matthews here, filling in for Maggie Nerdly. And I'm backstage with the OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions of the World, Michigan's own, Love Generation! As the camera pans out to reveal the champs, a big pop goes up out in the arena. MATTHEWS Guys, tonight it's ten man tag team action against the newly bloated numbers of Cucaracha Internacional. Your thoughts? LEON Well before we get to that, me and the guys want to send out our best wishes and get well soons to two of our favourite gals, Melody and Maggie Nerdly. I'm sure they're both watching tonight from the frozen wastes of Canadia, or wherever they happen to be, so this one's for you. Now, as far as 'Cucaracha Internacional' goes, I must admit I'm a little confused. It's hard to keep track of all these comings and goings. You've got Todd against Cucaracha Internacional, Todd in Cucaracha Internacional, Spanish Fly against The Lightning Crew, Spanish Fly in the Lightning Crew, they change their name, suddenly Brickston's there, Alix is in The Enterprise, Mackenzie is out, then she's back in again, all these stables, I don't know what the hell's going on anymore! But it's safe to say that tonight, we will be wrestling against one such stable of people who are in a stable together which has a name. MATTHEWS Uh, yes. And obviously, as Six Man Tag Team Champions, you've got to keep an eye on all of these factions in the near future. LEON Oh yeah. Most prestigious belts in wrestling, right here. TYLER *cough* LEON But no, I'm sure that especially as we approach AngleMania, all of these groups are going to be hoping to add some gold to the ranks, to try and be the one true dominant force in the OAOAST. To which we simply say bring it on. We've pretty much said as much to AngleSault. Any challenge, we're willing to accept it, as we have been for the past six months. SHAYNE Six months? Really? LEON Scary, no? MATTHEWS Well with that in mind, good luck tonight guys. LEON And good luck to you too Josh. Keep reaching for those stars and one day, you may just cast aside the shackles of presenting WWE Afterburn. In the meantime, it's Detroit, it's Michigan, it's gonna be good times all the way! Love Generation, all ya need is us! The 6-Man Champs head off as we go back to the arena (maybe?)... NO!!!!! COMING UP NEXT THROW IT UP FOR THE 313 Love Generation, Jamie O'Hara, and Thunder Kid Vs La Cucaracha Internacional NEXT COMMERCIAL

OAOAST QUIZDOWN is brought to you by WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HATERS TRYING TO ACT AS IF KOBE AINT THE MAN???? Q.Caboose's real name is: A.Rishi Saujani B.Nick Bradley C.Birbal Prakul D.Rishi Satayjit We head backstage to see Zack Malibu, prepped for action (no pun inten...ah, yes it was), exiting his locker room. As soon as the door closes behind him he turns, and comes face to face with Bohemoth. The two share a tense moment, both men probably wanting to knock the others jaw loose, but cooler heads prevail, and instead Bo starts talking rather than punching. BO So, what are you, the resident mystery partner all of a sudden? First a few weeks ago, and that I could see...you've got a history with Cone. Now tonight, with Tha Puerto Rican? C'mon Zack, what happened to Mr. Fan Favorite, siding with a goon like that? Pressure finally getting to you? MALIBU Smartass. See, you're so intent on trying to make me out to be the bad guy in all this, but you've got tunnel vision. Me and PRL, we're not friends. Not even close. But he came up to me, face to face...something you're not familiar with lately, and asked me for my help because no one in this company is more familiar with Popick than I am. Now think about it...I'm in a match with the World Champion tonight, someone that I've beaten many times before, and someone that has something that I want...and knowing Popick the way I do, what happens if I pin him tonight, Bo? What happens if I pin the World Heavyweight Champion on national television. I get *that much* closer to the World Title, while you've still got steam coming out of your ears over the Lethal Rumble. If I pin Popick tonight, it looks good in the record books, and it means that instead of chasing the belt, the person with the belt might start chasing me. So where does that leave you, Bo? Bitter? Angry? You and I, we've got issues and we're going to settle them at Anglemania...but you need to play it smart. Opportunity knocked tonight, and I took it. For one night only, Zack Malibu and Tha Puerto Rican are going to see eye to eye, which is longer than you and I have lately. I know it's eating you up inside, everything that's been going on lately. Things have gone further than we wanted, and there's no going back now. We're going to the big time, the grandest stage in all of wrestling so that we can hopefully bury the hatchet. I'm just worried that you might try to bury one in my back before then. BO You're not giving me enough credit, Zack. MALIBU Not true, Bo, I'm giving you a lot of credit, because like I said...I saw an opportunity tonight. Who's to say you won't see one en route to Anglemania? I'm just saying, face to face, save it for then. Don't let this thing break down further than it did. I'm just giving you fair warning that my eyes are open. I learned a long time ago not to put anything past anyone, friend or foe. You might be watching my back, or you just might be measuring up the spot to plant the knife, I'm not sure. At least with PRL there's no question what kind of guy he is. BO And teaming with him doesn't put you in a shade of grey? MALIBU No one said it doesn't...but at least I said my piece on it. I know why I'm doing what I'm doing. I'm just wondering if you're living your life to get to the top, to get the belt that you and I both realize can take us to the top of the mountain, or to make my life a living hell. I'm wondering what's more important to you. Like I said, the match at Anglemania is signed and set. You and I are going to have a hell of a lot of frustration to let out...in the meantime, you're dwelling on it, while I'm stepping into the ring with the man who has what you and I both want. So who's coming out ahead tonight, Bo? How's that for our "friendly competition"? Malibu pats Bo on the shoulder and walks past, heading for the gorilla position. Bo turns, a sneer stretched across his face, as the screen fades to black, and segues into a word from our sponsor. I often wonder what type of people would advertise on a wrestling show that typically comes on at 2 am EST COMMERCIAL

TAPED EARLIER TODAY The scene is the elaborate entrance stage, but absent are flashy pyrotechnics and the bevy of spotlights that typically decorated. Also not present are any audience members, as the ring is still being set up by the ring crew. But the stage does have several noteworthy residents for us to spy on. Krista Isadora Duncan reclines on a chair, tended to by an onsite dermatologist. At her side are her dutiful admirers, Shayne and Tyler, and Terry Taylor pouring over her financial records. TERRY Krista, looking over all of this, you really need to handle your finances better. The money isn't going to last forever! KRISTA Oh no, honey, how long do I have? TERRY Three or four.....hundred years. The point is there are numerous things you can cut back on! Like, do you have to keep Steven Guttenberg around to do Mahony from Police Academy. KRISTA But, Terry, who else will fill our days with witty quips and expertly timed sarcasm with a reassuring smile as Commandant Lesard and the rest of hapless but lovable recruits try their best to keep from being shutdown by that damned Commandant Mauser. TERRY Just buy a DVD! And what about the six farms you own across the state of California? Explain that, farmer jill! KRISTA If you have an easier way to get milk for my Frosted Flakes in the morning, I'm dying to hear it! TERRY Its hard to take you seriously when you're getting botox done in the middle of an empty eighteen thousand seat arena! Couldn't you do this at the hotel? TYLER She's not allowed back there. She got banned since she won't the give the concierge his prosthetic leg back. KRISTA I won that gunfight fair and square. Besides I need it to do my Charlie Chaplin routine for the boys at USO show. Hey there, Joe, what do ya know, just got back from a baudville show. TERRY What about this fifteen thousand dollar bill from trashing the W hotel?! Where'd that come from? Did you have some kind of party? KRISTA Woah, slow down mayor rudeness guliani. It wasn't a party boombarty, I invited 50 Cent and the rest of G Unit over to watch some masterpiece theater and maybe stay for some Are You Being Served, and they bought along some of their posse....and some bomb ass chronic. TERRY And what's this smiley face on the 28th surrounded by a bunch of dollar signs? What do you have planned there? KRISTA Oh, honey, didn't I tell you, Landon Maddix asked me to appear on an SWF show. Or was it play the role of Mr. Mistoffelees in a dinner theater production of Cats? Either way there was a five with a whole bunch of zeros next to it so Memory - all alone in the moonlight. I can smile at the old days, I was beautiful then. I remember the time I knew what happiness was. Let the memory live again. TERRY Why are you in my life, you awful, awful, woman? Through the wide open entrance doors emerges ThunderKid, attired in a pair of grey sweatpants and a Green Bay Packers jersey. That's how we remember where people are from, by making them wear jerseys corresponding to their hometown. Have you ever seen a Nerdly not in an Edmonton Oilers jersey? I think not. THUNDERKID Uh, Krista, I'm sorry to barge in here unannounced, uninvited and reeking of garlic bread, but do you mind if I talk to you for a bit? KRISTA Yeah, sure, honey, just let me get some fabreeze and Hazmat suits to guard me from your breath. What's going on? What's wrong? THUNDERKID This whole thing about you and your child being on the roster has sort of got to me. I mean, I know my parents, I grew up around them all my life in Green Bay, and I think they did a great job raising me. But, I can't help but wonder what if they aren't my real parents? Every kid has those kind of thoughts about being adopted when they're little, but I'm an adult and I'm still wondering. Theodore Moneymaker has got me wondering if you're my mom. And call me crazy, but the shoe fits. It really does. For instance, I've got a great sense of humor for one thing. And I've been doing lots of work on my standup routines. Observe. Who is this general sow character? Doesn't he have anything better to do then sit around on his BUTT and make chicken? TYLER SHYANE Its funny, because we all think it, but he's the only one with the guts to come out and say it! Bravo to you, sir! THUNDERKID And, I'm really into gaining success in the business world just like you. After all, I just got my real estate license. Do you rent or own? KRISTA Honey, I own everyone. THUNDERKID Of course! And, most importantly, although, I'm not gay myself, I have been a long standing supporter of the lesbian community. Yes, I have. That's the truth. KRISTA Honey, just because you make Ass Toys and No Boys your porn rental for the week doesn't make you a supporter of the lesbian community, it just means you and Tyler have the same taste in the adult cinema. THUNDERKID No! I have been tirelessly devoted to lesbians all my life! I was Shayne and Tyler before there was a Shayne and Tyler. When I was a little boy, I showed you mine if you showed me yours, even though you didn't care. When I was in highschool I showed you mine if you showed me yours, even though you still didn't care! And when I was in college I slept with you, and you still didn't care and were frankly a little repulsed ! And now you're sneering at me, and when I approach you at the supermarket you call me a misogynistic clansmen and throw macaroni salad in my face. I have loved you people with my every breath and will do so to my last one. I have always loved you in a very unhealthy way for my own personal development. So who loves me back, damn it? KRISTA Honey, don't be sad, every lesbian appreciates her sappho daddio. If it wasn't for Terry over here, who would I fire roman candles at while they sleep? Who's condo would I sit on fire while he's in the shower, forcing him to run onto a street filled with children bare ass naked? Now, who's pretty when she smiles? Who's pretty when she smiles? Who's pretty when she smiles? THUNDERKID I am! KRISTA Yes, you are, you are, yes you are. Here, I'm gonna schooch over and you and I gonna have a lil botox and a lotta mermosa. THUNDERKID What's mermosa? KRISTA Its French for I wanna get hammered before noon. Tyler, Shayne, let's sing our botox song. TYLER Grey skies are gonna clear put on a happy face! KRISTA I can't! SHAYNE Brush off the clouds and cheer up, put on a happy face! KRISTA I am! Oh, life is so magical with a face full of poison. My face hasn't' been this immobilized since Terry Taylor's rectal visitation by a gang of marsupial mole cubs. In the early days we had to go down to china town and inject our frown lines with mayonnaise that had been left out in the sun for a week. Kid picks up a few pictures that the doctor has brought with him. THUNDERKID I can't believe these before and after pictures, before she's this gnarled old monstrous looking witch, and after she's this gnarled old monstrous looking witch. KRISTA Honey, those aren't before and after pictures, that's Terry's modeling portfolio. FADE OUT COLE Last week on the show, we saw an impressive debut from a mysterious Japanese competitor named GENSHOU. No one had really heard of him before last week, but he's on the minds and mouths of the entire OAOAST roster this week. No one knows how he got here or who brought him, but he has such an unorthodox style and proved to be so dominant last week that he must be taken as a threat. COACH "Dominant" is a light word. He bloodied his opponent with knee strikes, then still delivered a spectacular move known as the Oriental Tsunami, which is a corkscrew backflip, to crush his opponent's ribcage. The man has a dangerous offensive arsenal and a bizarre persona that makes him hard to figure out..he's going to be difficult to defeat. Let's go to the ring! BUFFER The following is set for one fall, fifteen minute time limit. Already in the ring, from Marietta, Georgia; 252 pounds...Frank Pound! (The lights come down and the music starts, with the red light filling the building...GENSHOU comes out with a gi top added to his entrance outfit. He spews his mist in the air as he climbs to the apron.) BUFFER And from Yokohama, Japan at a weight of 240 pounds, he is GENSHOU! GENSHOU climbs in the ring and carefully removes his gi top, folding it and laying it in his corner, refusing to give it to the OAOAST ring boy. COLE There's something up with his ring outfit, almost like it is sacred. I want to get to the bottom of that one. *BELL RINGS* Both men circle the ring, GENSHOU creeping around in a kneeling stance. Pound goes to lock up...and gets a standing spinkick to the stomach. Pound is sent off with an Irish whip, then runs into a second-rope springboard back elbow to the face! GENSHOU pulls Pound up to his feet with a front facelock, then gives him a snap suplex back down. GENSHOU bounces off of the ropes and hits a snap kneedrop to the bridge of the nose. The camera gets a close-up of Pound's face to show that his nose is bleeding. COACH How dangerous is this man? The second week in a row he has bloodied his opponent. GENSHOU sees the bloody nose and pulls Pound up by fish-hooking the bludgeoned nose. He's holding Blood up to where he's on his feet, but leaned back, then drives a hard elbow-strike to the base of the injured nose! GENSHOU holds a side mount on Pound and drives knees into his head and nose, causing the blood to flow harder and faster, covering the man's face. GENSHOU breaks up his clinch right as the referee tries stepping in to break it up. He pulls Pound up, then shoves him into a corner. GENSHOU backs up to the opposite corner, then hits a cartwheel-back handspring back elbow! Pound stumbles out of the corner, GENSHOU grabs the back of his head, then hits a standing superkick to the face! GENSHOU looks around at the crowd, then down at his fallen foe. During this downtime, a geisha-looking young lady hurries down to ringside and leaves a message at the commentary table. COLE What does this say? "You will find out who brought our warrior here in 604,800 seconds." COACH According to my calculations, that's one week tonight, which would be the Leap Year Spectacular! GENSHOU climbs the ropes, then hits his Oriental Tsunami (corkscrew moonsault)! COVER! ONE! TWO! THREE! *BELL RINGS* BUFFER Your winner. GENSHOOOOOOOOOOOU! COLE Another impressive, short, and violent victory for the Asian Assasain, GENSHOU! COACH But maybe even more importantly, we found out tonight that whoever has brought this warrior into the OAOAST will apparantly show his face at the Leap Year Spectacular NEXT WEEK! GENSHOU mists the camera lens once again, which sends us to a commercial break. COMMERCIAL