Patty O'Green

CREDITS 149 LunarPhoneix Alf KC EWC P'OG

THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD Ultimate Victory introduces us to another edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN. Showing that they're not above the holiday spirit our production department frames the introductory video in a Holiday themed border, complete with the star of david, little Christmas trees, Kwanza symbols, and writings from the Koran. Once our super PC video is finished we see the logo, Immediately our view dissolves into the arena where Cole and Coach, outfitted in festive red and green polo shirts, and ridiculously ugly candy cane patterned name tags welcome us to HeldDOWN from behind and announce table that's decorated by a wealth of Christmas lights, and highlighted by a menorah and a statue of Buddah! COLE Happy holidays everybody! And welcome to the highest rated program on cable television, OAOAST HeldDOWN~! COACH Highest rated program? Keep telling yourself that one day and maybe it will be true. COLE Well, folks, the action in the OAOAST doesn't even stop for the Holiday season because what a wonderful program we have for you tonight! The South Central Militia will be in action against Gunslingers, Krista Isadora Duncan will be battling Lucius Soul, Faqu will be competing, and Felix Sturtter will be defending his newly won international world title. COACH And who knows what other segments people will turn in three days late! "LIGHTNING CREW!" The crowd stands up and begins booing almost immediately as the opening to "No Chance In Hell" begins playing. As the new Lightning Crew entrance video plays on the AngleTron, featuring images of Stephen Joseph Popick replacing those of Tha Puerto Rican, smoke fills the entrance stage. The crescendo hits, and a HUGE burst of pyro hits the entrance, replacing the lightning bolt that hit the entrance for four years. Then, "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds begins playing. *No chance (No chance) That's what ya got! (Ha! Ha! Yeah.) We're up against no machine too strong (Too strong) Pussy politicians buying souls for us are...PUPPETS! (Puppets!)* The entrance doors slide open, and through the smoke walks out the entire Lightning Crew. Led by Stephen Joseph Popick, wearing a suit and tie and holding the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his right shoulder. He puts his left arm over the shoulders of the OAOAST Women's Champion Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, who is wearing hoop earrings, a Santa hat, a short red dress with white trim, long black gloves, gold bracelets, a gold necklace, and black heel boots. Lindsay has the OAOAST Women's Championship belt over her left shoulder. The crowd hoots and hollers at Lindsay. Lindsay just sneers at the crowd. COACH Ho! Ho! Ho! COLE Ho is right! COACH Quiet you! Following Popick and Lindsay are Vitamin X and Princess Stacey, both dressed to the nines, with Princess Stacey also wearing a Santa hat, along with diamond earrings, a necklace with her name on it, a red tanktop, bracelets, tight blue jeans with a studded belt, and black heels. Behind them are Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua, neither one into the spirit of Christmas, The Bone Thug, Thomas Rodriguez, who is wearing a Santa hat himself, and bringing up the rear is Spanish Fly, who is wearing a white Lightning Crew T-shirt over his ring gear, but no Santa hat. The nine members of The Lightning Crew walk down the entrance ramp as "No Chance In Hell" continues playing. *But will find their place in line (In line) But tie a string around your finger now boy cuz cuz, it's just a matter of time Cuz you've got...NO CHANCE! (You've got no chance!) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You've got...NO CHANCE! (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You've got...NO CHANCE! (Got no chance) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You've got...NO CHANCE! (Chance!) NO CHANCE IN HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!* MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK AND THE LIGHTNINNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! COLE I see Popick, Lindsay, Wall, Boricua, Princess Stacey, Vitamin X, Bone Thug, Thomas, and Spanish Fly. But I don't see The Mad Cappa! COACH Popick's gonna straighten things out right now I believe. COLE Well, in case you missed last week's HeldDOWN~!, shame on you, because you missed another classic encounter between Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa which ended, believe it or not, with The Mad Cappa HELPING Tha Puerto Rican! COACH He wasn't so much helping him as he was being selfish and going against Popick's orders. COLE Well, you may be right about that, but one thing you can't deny: instead of crushing Tha Puerto Rican's larynx, The Mad Cappa used that ring bell to hit Popick over the head. Then he ran away from a charging Lightning Crew. COACH Is this the same Mad Cappa who beat up The Lightning Crew on a regular basis for years? What happened last week? COLE Well, The Mad Cappa knew he was outnumbered, so rather than take the risk, he decided to save himself so that he could live to fight another day! COACH The Lightning Crew didn't get him last week, but he'll get his sooner rather than later! Vitamin X and Cuban Wall taunt the fans, and then climb up the ring steps along with the rest of The Lightning Crew. Lindsay holds the ring ropes, and Stephen Popick enters the ring. Popick then watches as Lindsay enters the ring seductively, allowing the camera to get an upskirt shot in the process. COACH Give that cameraman a raise just for that shot! Bless you kind sir! The rest of The Lightning Crew enters the ring. They all stand in the center of the ring while spotlights shine on them. The LC members all look at each other...and then do The Lightning Crew Salute to loud boos. The lights then go back on in the arena as The LC taunt the fans and mug for the camera. Popick calls for a microphone. COLE After last week's events, it looks like we have someone else gunning for The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick in The Mad Cappa. Colombian Heat, Tha Puerto Rican, and The Mad Cappa have issues with The Lightning Crew, which can't sit well with Popick. COACH Heat's a loser, Tha Puerto Rican's a loser, and The Mad Cappa could have been something, but he turned his back on Popick, so now he's a loser too! COLE He's got some dignity, and quite possibly the fans' respect again, though. COACH Meh. Popick grabs a microphone from a ringside attendant, telling the ringside attendant, "Thank you." after receiving the mic. Popick paces back and forth as "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds dies down. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Popick's got the microphone! COACH The Champ is about to speak! Stephen Joseph Popick looks at the crowd and puts the microphone to his lips. He adjusts the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his right shoulder. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK I guess after last week, I need to make a few things clear. Number one: Don't you ever... Don't you EVER defy my orders, or you will pay the consequences! Mad Cappa-- "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" POPICK You dare defy my orders, and you WILL pay for it! Mad Cappa, as of last Thursday, you are OUT of The Lightning Crew! "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Glad to see we got that cleared up. The Mad Cappa now holds the record for the shortest time in The Lightning Crew. COACH He was never Lightning Crew material anyway. POPICK Now, while you suffer the indignity of being kicked out of the greatest group of wrestlers the world has ever seen, I want you to remember that everything that happens to you from now on is your own damn fault. You brought all of this onto yourself with your actions last week! Instead of finishing the job I started. Instead of doing the deed that was four years in the making. Instead of getting rid of Tha Puerto Rican once and for all-- "ASSSSS-HOLE!" "ASSSSS-HOLE!" "ASSSSS-HOLE!" "ASSSSS-HOLE!" Popick sneers at the crowd. POPICK Instead of doing what I KNOW you've always wanted to do...you grew a heart. You developed a conscience. You decided at the last second 'No, I will not be a man! No, I will not finish what Popick started. No, I will be a wuss, I will be a pussy and NOT crush PRL's larynx! I will NOT give PRL exactly what he deserves! No, I will defy the orders of my boss, and I will instead SAVE the man who ALMOST ENDED MY CAREER!' What happened Mad Cappa? I always thought you were full of SO much potential. But after last week, I guess I was wrong. I guess I was wrong just like I was wrong about Tha Puerto Rican. I have not been so good lately when it comes to spotting people's potential. Lightning Crew, do you all have the potential I think you have? The Lightning Crew members all shake their heads "Yes." Cuban Wall says, "Yes, boss!" Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick smiles at her husband. COLE They're all a bunch of freeloaders. COACH Be glad they can't hear you, Cole. Be very glad. POPICK I sure hope so. I sure hope so. Now, people have alot of questions: 'Are Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa friends now?' 'Are they allies?' Look, I don't care what the relationship between Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa is. I really don't. In fact, if I had my way, I would never have to worry about either one of those jackasses ever again! But you see, life is not fair, and as a result, I HAVE to worry about the two of them, because apparently, they BOTH want a shot at MY World's Heavyweight Title! They BOTH want a piece of Popick! Now, normally, I would just deny the two of them a Title shot and move on. But seeing as this is the holiday season, I am in a giving mood. And besides, Stephen Joseph Popick doesn't get mad. Popick has a twisted, psychotic look on his face as he says the next sentence. POPICK (growling) Stephen Joseph Popick gets EVEN. COLE Uh-oh. I don't like the sound of that. COACH Just listen, Michael! SJP Tha Puerto Rican, you've been bugging me for a Title shot ever since I won this belt. You've been hounding me all over the country for almost a month now, wanting to fight me, wanting to take my belt away from me. Well, you won't have to hound me any longer. I'm not going to hold off on it anymore. It was inevitable. It was going to happen sooner or later. PR, you want a shot at my belt? YOU GOT IT! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The Lightning Crew is stunned by this announcement. COLE How about that? PRL's got another shot at the Title! COACH Oh great. PRL's gonna have another opportunity to BLOW his big chance! Wonderful. NOT! Popick continues. SJP And Mad Cappa, you've always complained about the fact that you've never gotten a shot at the World Heavyweight Title. You've been in the OAOAST for close to five years now with no World Title matches to your credit! Absolutely none. And that legitimately surprises me. Someone of your caliber should have had PLENTY of World Title matches by now! Well, the wait is over, because guess what? YOU got a shot too! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE The Mad Cappa's got a shot at the belt too! COACH Wait, where's Popick going with this? COLE I wonder this myself. The Lightning Crew members are surprised again by this announcement. Vitamin X asks Popick what is he thinking. But Stephen Joseph tells The X-Man to relax and that he knows what he's doing. POPICK I got everything under control. Now, I'm sure you are all wondering, 'Wait, how can PRL and Cappa BOTH have a shot at the Title?' 'What does this mean? What does this all mean?' It means, my friends, that on January 3rd on the OAOAST New Year's Spectacular, I, Stephen Joseph Popick, will defend the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship against Tha Puerto Rican AND against The Mad Cappa in a TRIPLE THREAT MATCH! COLE Oh my! What an announcement! A Triple Threat Match for the OAOAST World Title on the New Year's Spectacular January 3rd! COACH Popick, what are you doing!? PR and Cappa AT THE SAME TIME!? The Lightning Crew also voice their concern over this announcement. POPICK Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I'm ready. I'm willing. I'll GLADLY defend the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title against two men at the same time! Last month at November Reign, I defended my belt against FIVE MEN at the same time inside a Triple Decker Cage. I went through HELL in that one match, but guess what? I SURVIVED! So, defending the belt against two men who hate my guts seems like a cakewalk compared to that! COACH Popick's got a point. COLE Yeah. He's not doing another Triple Decker Cage Match for a long time, I think. POPICK So, Cappa, PRL, I hope you enjoy the holidays, because once we hit 2008, your happiness will end. The year 2008 will start off ROTTEN for the both of you, I GUARANTEE it! COACH A guarantee? Oh, Popick's DEFINITLEY going to win the match! He's gotta if he guarantees victory! COLE That guarantee might come back to bite him in the ass if he's not careful come January 3rd! POPICK (CONT'D) And P.R., even though I'm sure you're upset knowing that you're going to be spending Christmas AND New Year's Eve by yourself for the first time in your life. Even though I'm sure you're throwing furniture around knowing that The Lightning Crew, Lindsay, and myself will all be in my billion dollar home in Atlanta opening up presents, drinking egg nog, singing Christmas carols, and generally enjoying each other's company, then a week later, we will all drink champagne and say goodbye to 2007 and hello to 2008 together, as a family. Even though you're probably suicidal knowing that while Lindsay and I give each other's gifts, kiss each other on midnight on New Year's Eve, and continue making love. Popick puts his left arm around Lindsay's shoulders again. Lindsay sighs lovingly at Popick. POPICK I love you, boo. Even though you're probably trying to kill yourself as I speak since you know that I've taken your friends, I've taken your girl and made her my wife, I've got what you most treasure in the entire world and all you've got left is a pot smoking, brain dead, slacker for a companion. I want you to take comfort in the fact that once 2008 comes, things could be different. There's hope. There's a chance to turn things around. Because on the New Year's Spectacular, you have a chance to finally become the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion for the first time in your life. The first time ever. That moment might happen in only two weeks. So don't lose hope, buddy! Don't give up just yet! There IS a light at the end of the tunnel afterall! AH, WHO AM I KIDDING!? You're just going to choke again! Still, false hope never hurt anybody TOO much! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! The crowd boos loudly. "PO-PICK SUCKS!" "PO-PICK SUCKS!" "PO-PICK SUCKS!" "PO-PICK SUCKS!" Popick smiles evilly. POPICK Oh, oh, oh! And one more thing. You people are going to see PRL in action tonight. The crowd cheers loudly. POPICK Yeah. You see, I want to prepare PRL for the Triple Threat Match at New Year's Spectacular. So, the so-called 'People's Champ' will be competing in a tag team match. His opponents will be the combination of the 6'7" 285 pound Muscle of The Lightning Crew, CUBAN WALL! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Cuban Wall smirks and cracks his knuckles. POPICK AND...my bodyguard, the 6'9" 300 pound MONSTER, MISTER BORICUA! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mr. Boricua screams at the camera. COACH Great idea, Popick! POPICK And Tha Puerto Rican's partner will be someone he knows really well. An old 'friend' of his. Or should that be...an old rival. PRL's partner tonight will be my OTHER opponent on the New Year's Spectacular January 3rd...THE MAD CAPPA! COLE Whoa! The Mad Cappa and Tha Puerto Rican AS A TEAM!? TONIGHT!? COACH Brilliant! They're not going to be able to coexist! This will be an easy victory for Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall! Not that it wasn't already, but it's even more so now! COLE How will those two be able to stand in the same ring without wanting to hit each other I don't know! The crowd is shocked by this announcement. POPICK So, that's all I got to say. For now, at least. Think of tonight's main event as my way of saying Merry Christmas to PRL AND The Mad Cappa! Because I'm damn sure not going to be sending them anything for Christmas this year! And as for the rest of you...MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! "Stronger" by Kanye West begins playing. Popick blows kisses to the fans, who respond by flipping him several thousand middle fingers. The Lightning Crew leave the ring with Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick holding the ropes for Popick again. COLE What a series of shocking announcements we've just heard! Stephen Joseph will defend the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title against Tha Puerto Rican AND The Mad Cappa in a Triple Threat Match on the New Year's Spectacular on January 3rd, but before that, Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa must TEAM UP tonight to take on Mr. Boricua AND Cuban Wall! COACH While I'm still confused as to why Popick would WILLINGLY give PRL and Cappa Title shots, I do have to commend him for setting up this tag team match tonight. No way will PRL and Cappa team up! They're going to be bickering the entire match! They HATE each other! They absolutely HATE each other! COLE No argument here, which should make the main event very interesting! How well will PR and Cappa get along tonight? COACH Not well at all, I think! Popick and The LC walk up the entrance ramp, with Popick once again having his left arm over Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick's shoulders and the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his right shoulder. Popick and Lindsay look lovingly into each other's eyes as "Stronger" continues playing. COLE A blockbuster main event coming up later on tonight! Tha Puerto Rican AND The Mad Cappa, one week removed from their memorable encounter in San Francisco, team up to take on charter Lightning Crew members Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua! That's tonight on HeldDOWN~! live from Fresno, California! More HeldDOWN~! right after these messages! Stay tuned! The Lightning Crew continue walking up the entrance ramp as "Stronger" by Kanye West continues playing. The crowd boos loudly. Popick laughs manically. This is the last image we see before we fade to black. FADE TO BLACK * COMMERCIAL BREAK*

"LIGHTNING CREW!" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The lights go down in the arena as the opening to "No Chance In Hell" begins playing. Smoke fills the entrance stage. The crescendo hits, and a huge burst of pyro hits the stage. "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds begins playing over the P.A. system. *No chance (No chance) That's what ya got! (Ha! Ha! Yeah.) We're up against no machine too strong (Too strong) Pussy politicians buying souls for us are...PUPPETS! (Puppets!)* The entrance doors slide open, and Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua come out through the smoke. The crowd boos louder than before. Wall and Boricua look at the crowd with serious expressions on their faces. Boricua sneers at the crowd. He yells at some fans. Wall tells Boricua to calm down a bit. Once Boricua calms down, Cuban Wall pumps his right fist into the air. The crowd boos again. Wall and Boricua look at each other, and then begin their walk to the ring. Cuban Wall's eyes are focused solely on the squared circle, while Mr. Boricua grunts and screams at the fans. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall with TV time remaining. Introducing first, coming to the ring at this time. Representing The Lightning Crew. At a total combined weight of 585 lbs. They are the team of CUBAN WALL and MISTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR BORICUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Cuban Wall shadow boxes a bit as he continues walking to the ring. Mr. Boricua grunts and snorts. COLE Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua have teamed up several times in the past, so they already hold an advantage over their opponents! COACH Not just that, Cole. They're also really big, really talented, and members of The Lightning Crew! COLE That's true, Coach. This will NOT be an easy battle for either Tha Puerto Rican OR The Mad Cappa! COACH Damn right. Which is why I am SO looking forward to this match! This is going to be great! Mr. Boricua yells at the fans at ringside. Several little children run behind their mothers and fathers. Cuban Wall climbs the ring steps with Mr. Boricua following him. Wall enters the ring via the top ring rope, and Mr. Boricua follows him. Cuban Wall shadow boxes in the ring while a spotlight shines on him and Mr. Boricua. Wall and Boricua stand near the ring ropes, look at each other...and do The Lightning Crew Salute together in sync! The crowd boos. Cuban Wall jaws with the fans as "No Chance In Hell" continues playing. Boricua poses on a second turnbuckle and yells at the fans. COLE Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa team up for the first time in a long time! And it's coming up next! Commercials We return to HeldDOWN~! with Cuban Wall posing on a second turnbuckle to boos. Wall gets off the second turnbuckle and heads to another second turnbuckle where he raises his hands in the air again. Wall gets off the turnbuckle and heads to a third second turnbuckle where he raises his hands in the air once more. Cuban Wall gets off the second turnbuckle and heads to the fourth second turnbuckle to raise his hands in the air again. Wall gets off the turnbuckles and shadow boxes in the ring while Mr. Boricua heads to the outside to yell at the fans. COLE Back on HeldDOWN~!, and fans, we are moments away from a big main event! Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa TEAMING UP! And yet, in two weeks on the New Year's Spectacular, they are going to be in a Triple Threat Match with Stephen Joseph Popick for the OAOAST World Title! COACH They're not going to be able to team up, Cole! There is too much history, too much HATRED, for them to coexist! Plus, they know what's coming up on January 3rd, and that will distract them too! COLE It is very likely that this won't be an easy alliance! There is no love lost between PRL and The Mad Cappa. But this is only one match. And they have a common enemy in Wall and Boricua. If they can remember that, they might have a chance! COACH They won't, which is why they're doomed. The lights go back on in the arena. "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds dies down. COLE What an announcement from Stephen Joseph earlier tonight. Both PR and Cappa getting a shot at the World Heavyweight Title on January 3rd on the New Year's Spectacular in a Triple Threat Match. Cappa's first Title shot ever. PRL looking to win his first World Championship ever in two weeks. COACH We've said that so many times over the past year that the words have lost all meaning! COLE While it's true that Tha Puerto Rican has failed to win the World Heavyweight Title yet, he is resilient. He will not give up. He won't rest until he has the World Heavyweight Title belt in his possession! COACH Then he will keep trying until the day he dies, because that moment will NEVER happen! COLE That moment might happen two weeks from now on the New Year's Spectacular! PRL could begin 2008 by winning his first World Heavyweight Championship! But so could The Mad Cappa, who also doesn't have a World Title reign in his resume. A Triple Threat Match makes things rather interesting, alot of questions will be answered on January 3rd, the first OAOAST event of the year 2008, we hope you will join us on that date! Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall remove their sunglasses and hand them to a ringside attendant. Cuban Wall removes the gold chain from around his neck and hands that over to the ringside attendant too. The crowd boos loudly. Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua look to the entrance. COLE Our main event is about to start right now! COACH Oh goodie! The lights go down in the arena. A Puerto Rican flag appears on the AngleTron. In big white blocky letters, the following words appear on the screen, with Tha Puerto Rican saying them: *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role '99" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and cheering loudly. PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" throughout the song, while smoke fills the entrance stage and strobe lights appear over, under and around the AngleTron. A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and out through the smoke appears Tha Puerto Rican to a loud pop from the thousands in attendance. COLE And here comes ONE of the #1 Contenders for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title! PRL looks at the crowd. He does The People's Eyebrow. P.R. chuckles, and then looks at Wall and Boricua, who are motioning PRL to enter the ring. PRL talks back, snorts, and then begins his walk down the entrance ramp as "Know Your Role '99" continues playing. BUFFER And their opponents. First, coming to the ring at this time. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 220 lbs. He is one-half of The Badd Boyz. THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! PRL continues his walk to the ring, staring at Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua the entire time. COLE The People's Champion has another opportunity to become the World Heavyweight Champion in two weeks on the New Year's Spectacular! But in order to do that, he must overcome both his former manager turned rival AND his greatest opponent, who tonight is actually his PARTNER if you can believe that! COACH Tha Puerto Rican HATES The Mad Cappa with every fiber of his being. How can he look The Mad Cappa in the eye, much less tag him, without wanting to rip his head off? COLE He's going to have to keep all of his hatred inside. For one night only, PRL must set aside personal differences in order to win this match! He MUST coexist with The Mad Cappa, because it will be next to impossible to combat the two biggest members of The Lightning Crew by himself! There's no other way around it! COACH I think PRL has less of a chance coexisting with The Mad Cappa then he does of beating Popick on January 3rd! COLE Well, anything can happen in the OAOAST! COACH Except a PRL World Title reign, apparently! COLE Oh, will you stop!? Tha Puerto Rican stops near the ring. Cuban Wall stares a hole through PRL. PR mouths off to Wall and Boricua. COACH Well, PRL is obviously not afraid to run his mouth at Wall and Boricua. COLE He never has been. He is not intimidated by either man. Remember, he led these men for FOUR YEARS. COACH And they hated every second of it! Which is why they are looking forward to this match! COLE Well, I don't know about that. COACH It's true. They told me themselves. Well, Cuban Wall told me. Mr. Boricua just grunted and yelled alot. "Know Your Role '99" dies down. The crowd is buzzing in anticipation for The Mad Cappa's entrance. PRL is still on the outside staring at Wall and Boricua. Mr. Boricua grunts and cracks his knuckles. COLE The Mad Cappa and Tha Puerto Rican: longtime enemies, but tonight, partners! Can these two coexist after all they've been through over the years? *1, 2, 3! Hit it!* The opening trumpet blare causes the crowd to stand up and cheer for the first time in over three years. Then, "Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)" by DJ Kool starts playing for the first time on OAOAST TV since 2004. Red spotlights circle the arena while strobe lights appear over, under and around the AngleTron. A single spotlight shines on the entrance. The Mad Cappa's back is turned to the camera. Cappa starts DANCING~! bringing the crowd to life. TMC turns around and flashes a smile, delighting the audience who were so used to him being grumpy for the past three years. Cappa begins walking down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way. BUFFER And his partner. Coming to the ring at this time. From Northern Virginia. Weighing in at 183 lbs. He is a former two-time One And Only AngleSault Thread Puerto Rican/Italian Champion. He...is...THE MADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD CAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! The Mad Cappa continues slapping hands with the fans on the way to the ring. COLE The Mad Cappa has had some of the greatest matches of his career against the man who is his tag team partner tonight! He won his first Title in the OAOAST, the Puerto Rican Championship, against PRL at AngleMania III on March 28, 2004 in front of 78,000-plus fans in the Pontiac Silverdome in what some say is one of the greatest matches in AngleMania and OAOAST history! He has battled it out with Tha Puerto Rican all over the world twice over and now tonight, for the first time since 2003, he must team up with the man who has made his life a living hell on more than one occasion! COACH You rarely team up with the guy who crushed your larynx. COLE Cappa's got his old theme music back. He's dancing again. He's changed from just last week. COACH Last week he was a member of the greatest stable in wrestling. This week he's nothing and he'll stay that way! COLE Not unless he wins the World Heavyweight Title on the New Year's Spectacular! COACH Which has an even lesser chance of happening than PRL winning it! Cappa's never been this close to the World Title in his entire life! He's never even had a shot at the belt! Whereas PRL knows what it's like, Cappa doesn't. Both PRL and Cappa will choke under the pressure in two weeks in the Triple Threat Match, PRL because he doesn't want to fail AGAIN, and Cappa because he doesn't know how to handle the pressure of wrestling in a main event World Heavyweight Title Match, and like Popick says, he's going to divide and conquer and have another successful Title defense! COLE Popick's plan is to pit PR and Cappa together so that he can weasel his way to another successful Title defense. COACH Oh come on! COLE Popick knows their history, as we all do, but tonight, can these two men put their past aside and team up against two giant foes in Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua? COACH They can't and they won't. The Mad Cappa also stops near the ring. Cappa's smile fades when he looks at Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua. Wall has an evil grin on his face, inviting Mad Cappa into the ring. Mr. Boricua sneers, snorts, grunts, yells, and cracks his knuckles, lunging after Mad Cappa. Cappa points a menacing finger at his opponents, and then turns his head to Tha Puerto Rican. Tha Puerto Rican turns his attention to The Mad Cappa at the same time. PRL and Cappa look at each other, and sneer. COLE Uh-oh. They don't seem to be getting along too much right about now! I think they've finally realize that they got to team up and they don't like it one bit! COACH They're not going to last five minutes without taking a shot at each other! Cappa and PRL start conversing outside the ring while "Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)" continues playing. Their conversation gets heated. COLE Are they discussing who starts first? COACH They're probably discussing who walks out of the match first! PRL and Cappa both point to Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall. After some further discussion, Cappa and PRL just decide to slide into the ring at the same time and attack Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall! That's enough for referee Earl Hebner to call for the bell! *DING DING DING* THA PUERTO RICAN AND THE MAD CAPPA vs. CUBAN WALL AND MR. BORICUA "Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)" by DJ Kool dies down. Tha Puerto Rican pairs up with Cuban Wall, while The Mad Cappa pairs up with Mr. Boricua. A slugfest erupts with both pairs while the crowd goes nuts. COLE Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa, partners tonight, opponents January 3rd! COACH And enemies for life! Mr. Boricua gains the advantage over Mad Cappa, while Cuban Wall quickly gains the advantage over Tha Puerto Rican. Wall pounds on PRL and then whips him into a neutral turnbuckle corner. Cuban Wall readies himself, and then charges forward...PRL moves out of the way...Wall misses his Avalanche! Puerto waits for Wall to get near him, and then starts hammering away with Rock-style punches to the temple! Meanwhile, Mad Cappa nails Mr. Boricua with right jabs, dazing the biggest wrestler in The Lightning Crew! COLE PR and The Mad Cappa are fighting back! COACH Come on Wall! Come on Boricua! The Mad Cappa gets Mr. Boricua good and dazed, before charging forward, clotheslining Mr. Boricua over the top rope and onto the floor! Meanwhile, Tha Puerto Rican elbows Cuban Wall in the face! P.R. grabs Wall and then tells Mad Cappa something. Cappa and PRL take Cuban Wall into the ropes and hammer on him for a bit, before giving him a double Irish Whip into the opposite ropes, and following with a DOUBLE BACK ELBOW! COLE A double team move from The Mad Cappa and Tha Puerto Rican! I never thought I'd see the day! COACH It's not going to last. PRL and Cappa realize that they've just teamed up...and just shrug their shoulders. Tha Puerto Rican exits the ring while The Mad Cappa picks Cuban Wall up and beats him in the face. COLE The Mad Cappa and Tha Puerto Rican aren't friends, but they have a common enemy in The Lightning Crew which is why they're focusing on Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua right now rather than each other! Cappa gives Wall an Irish whip into the ropes. Standing dropkick! Cover. ONE! KICK OUT!!! COACH Not even two! Cappa, you are so pathetic! COLE Says the guy who was rooting him on against Tha Puerto Rican last week. TMC picks CW up. Wall shoves Cappa away. But Cappa fights back with punches to the face! The Mad One whips Cuban Wall into the ropes again. He goes for a clothesline, Cuban Wall ducks, bounces off the ropes...and fires with a flying clothesline taking The Mad Cappa down! The crowd boos, but not because of Wall's clothesline, but because the one and only Stephen Joseph Popick is making his way down to the ring! COLE Oh no. What's HE doing out here!? COACH Considering two of the men in this match will face him on January 3rd, I'd say he's scouting the competition! COLE Coach, you and I both know there's more to it than that! COACH How so? Stephen Joseph Popick, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his right shoulder, stares at Cappa and Cuban Wall in the ring. He stops near the ring and just watches the match, eyes focused solely on it. COACH See? He's just watching! He's scouting his competition! COLE Cappa and PRL better be careful. Popick's presence could be a distraction for the two of them! COACH If it is, then that's an added bonus! Back in the ring, Cuban Wall covers The Mad Cappa. 1...2...KICK OUT!!! Wall looks at Popick and nods his head. Popick just stands there. COLE Nice to know that the members of The Lightning Crew went from following Tha Puerto Rican to following Stephen Joseph Popick with no problems whatsoever! COACH You heard Popick. This was a plan three months in the making! And it all came together beautifully...until that thug Colombian Heat ruined everything! But don't worry, he'll get his comeuppance soon enough! Cuban Wall picks Cappa up. Wall grabs Cappa's right arm and twists it into an arm-wringer. Wall kicks Cappa in the gut. He then does it again. And again. Cuban Wall punches Cappa's right arm! He then punches it again, Cappa screaming in pain. Wall then drives the point of his right elbow directly into Cappa's right arm! Wall does that again. CW pulls Cappa in for a bodyslam! COLE A bodyslam from that man must feel a thousand times worst due to his sheer size! COACH Damn straight. Wall drops an elbow onto Mad Cappa's chest! He goes for the cover. 1... 2... KICK OUT!!! COLE A quick kickout by The Mad One! Wall glances over at Earl Hebner, then at Popick. Popick stands there stoic. CW picks up The Mad Cappa and takes him over to a neutral corner. Wall slams Cappa's head on the top turnbuckle pad, and then chokes Cappa with his bare hands! EARL HEBNER COME ON BREAK IT UP! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIV-- Cuban Wall lets go...and then punches Cappa in the jaw! COLE What a cheapshot! COACH How so? Punches are legal in professional wrestling. COLE It's the principle of the thing! COACH Wuss. Cuban Wall pleads his innocence to the referee for that punch. When he turns his attention back to Cappa, Cappa is ready with a right hand! And another! And another! And another! Cappa grabs Cuban Wall and nails him with several forearms to the face! He finishes by spinning around and nailing Wall with The IMPACT! COLE The IMPACT! The Mad Cappa with that discuss forearm shot to the face! And Cuban Wall is nearly out of it! Mad Cappa exits the ring and grabs Cuban Wall by his legs, dropping him to the canvas! Cappa then drags Cuban Wall until Wall's legs are wrapped around the ring post! Cappa grabs Wall's right leg, looks at the crowd, smiles, and then slams Cuban Wall's right leg against the ring post! COACH Disqualify him! Disqualify him! COLE The Mad Cappa is in control of the 6'7" Muscle of The Lightning Crew! Cappa plays to the crowd, and then slides back into the ring. TMC pulls Cuban Wall out from the ring post and then picks him up. Cappa arm-drags Cuban Wall back down onto the mat! The Mad Cappa heads over to his corner, stares at PRL...and then tags him into the match to cheers! COLE The Mad Cappa made the tag to Tha Puerto Rican! He actually slapped the man's hand! COACH That's the ONLY reason he'd EVER slap PRL's hand though! COLE No argument here. Tha Puerto Rican waits for Cuban Wall to get up. When he does, PR fires off with Rock-style punches to the temple! Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT! Punch! Cuban Wall doesn't fall, so PRL grabs Wall by his right wrist and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. PRL follows that up with a dropkick that nearly takes Wall down. PRL then bounces off the ropes, charges forward and gets off the mat with a Gamengiri which finally takes the big man down! COLE Dodge THIS, BITCH~! PRL quickly gets back to his feet. Noticing that Cuban Wall is lying dead center in the ring, Tha Puerto Rican decides that there's no better time than now to kick Cuban Wall's right arm onto his chest. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH Already!? COLE Tha Puerto Rican might be feeling it right about now! Tha Puerto Rican removes his right elbow pad and throws it into the crowd. He then does some weird hand signals, and then charges forward, bounces off the ropes, leaps over Cuban Wall, bounces off the opposite ropes. COLE It is now time for the most electrifying move in professional wrestling, The Puerto Rico Elbow! PRL rushes forward--Cuban Wall starts to get up! PR stops himself from doing The Puerto Rico Elbow! THA PUERTO RICAN OH NO YOU DON'T! Tha Puerto Rican kicks Cuban Wall back down onto the mat! THEN, he drops The Puerto Rico Elbow to a pop! COLE Almost had a scare there for a second. Thought we weren't going to see a Puerto Rico Elbow! COACH How sad would that be if we didn't get to see it. Notice the sarcasm there? PRL covers Cuban Wall, hooking Wall's right leg. 1... 2... 3--MR. BORICUA BREAKS IT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE Mr. Boricua stopping a possible pinfall there! COACH Good job, Boricua! Earl Hebner orders Mr. Boricua back to his corner. Mr. Boricua yells at the diminutive referee, not bothering to follow the rules. As Boricua continues screaming at the ref, PRL picks Cuban Wall up. He hooks him up for a LATIN SLAM--but again, Mr. Boricua attacks PRL, preventing it from happening! PRL stumbles, but then regains his balance and attacks Mr. Boricua! However, Earl Hebner prevents any further attacking by separating PR and Boricua. COACH Good! Gotta keep 'em separated! Tha Puerto Rican turns around... RIGHT INTO A GOOZLE~! COLE Oh no. COACH Oh yes. Cuban Wall grabs Tha Puerto Rican's red tights and then lifts him up as the crowd boos. CHOKESLAM!!!! COLE Chokeslam! Chokeslam on Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Oh! He sent him right to the canvas with that one! STRAIGHT TO THE CANVAS! He got him good! He got him good! The crowd boos loudly. Cuban Wall sneers at PRL, chuckles, and then makes the tag to Mr. Boricua. The crowd boos some more. COLE And now Mr. Boricua in this match for the first time, officially. "PO-PICK SUCKS!" "PO-PICK SUCKS!" "PO-PICK SUCKS!" "PO-PICK SUCKS!" Popick isn't fazed by the chants against him, still focused on the match in the ring. He still has a serious expression on his face as Mr. Boricua picks Tha Puerto Rican up. Short-arm clothesline from Mr. Boricua! COLE That's power! That's power right there! And--wait a minute--wait a minute--hold on... Vitamin X and The Bone Thug are walking down the entrance ramp to LOUD boos! COLE What are they doing out here? They're not involved in the Triple Threat Match on January 3rd! COACH They want something better than ringside seats, Michael! Besides, Vitamin X is a Prince. He deserves only the best seating in the house. COLE I thought that prince crap ended when PRL got kicked out of The Lightning Crew! COACH I'm going to have to check with Popick on that, but I'm pretty sure Popick and Lindsay are the King and Queen of The Lightning Crew and Vitamin X and Princess Stacey are the Prince and Princess of The Lightning Crew. COLE Oh come on! Vitamin X and The Bone Thug bypass Popick and stop at ringside. They too watch the match, Bone Thug wearing the Puerto Rican flag bandanas on his head and over his mouth in addition to sunglasses over his eyes. Meanwhile, Mr. Boricua slams Tha Puerto Rican's head on a top turnbuckle pad! Boricua yells while punching PRL in the face in the neutral corner! Boricua applies a headlock on The People's Champ and then takes him over to The Lightning Crew corner, making the tag to Cuban Wall. Boricua holds PRL so that Wall can kick Puerto Rican in the stomach. Wall punches PRL in the face! He does it several times, further weakening the already weakened Puerto Rican Superstar. Wall scoops Tha Puerto Rican up and hits him with a Death Valley Driver! COLE Death Valley Driver from Wall! CW gets up and stomps on PRL. He then falls to his knees and chokes PRL with his bare hands. COLE We have taken our last commercial break. We will stay with this match until the very end! And the end may be near as Cuban Wall chokes Tha Puerto Rican with his bare hands. Ref, stop this! COACH Let them fight! This is fun! CW stops choking Puerto Rican at the count of 4. The Mad Cappa can only watch as Cuban Wall picks Tha Puerto Rican up. Stephen Joseph Popick, Vitamin X and The Bone Thug look on as Cuban Wall whips Tha Puerto Rican into a neutral corner. Wall then walks back into the opposite corner, and charges forward, full steam ahead, taking the wind out of Tha Puerto Rican with an Avalanche! The crowd groans as soon as the Avalanche connects! COLE Oh my! An Avalanche! A move that could have severely damaged Tha Puerto Rican's insides! COACH His insides have turned to mush now! CW chokes PR with his bare hands again! Cappa offers PR half-assed words of encouragement. Mr. Boricua grunts, yells, and snorts. Vitamin X smiles evilly while The Bone Thug nods his head in approval. Popick just looks on stoic. Cuban Wall stops choking Tha Puerto Rican at the count of 4. CUBAN WALL You're done for, Puerto! CW drives a knee into Tha Puerto Rican's stomach! He drives another knee! And a third! Cuban Wall then switches to soupbones all over Tha Puerto Rican's body! COLE Those rights and lefts damaging Tha Puerto Rican! COACH He's going to feel really sore in the morning! Wall stops punching PRL so that he can elbow him in the face! He does it several times, and PRL is soon groggy. Wall with a right hand, following it up by grabbing P.R.'s right hand and twisting it into an arm-wringer so that he can take PRL over to his corner and make the tag to Mr. Boricua. Mr. Boricua snorts and then hits PRL's right arm with a double axehandle! Mr. B punches Tha Puerto Rican in the face! He does it a few more times and then scoops Tha Puerto Rican up. Bodyslam HARD onto the mat! Boricua then gives PRL a Splash! 1... 2... THE MAD CAPPA PULLS MR. BORICUA OFF OF THA PUERTO RICAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE The Mad Cappa HELPING Tha Puerto Rican right there! I can't believe it! COACH Oh Cappa, look how far you've fallen. Cuban Wall protests Cappa's interference. Earl Hebner orders The Mad Cappa to go back to his corner. Cappa gladly obliges. Wall taunts Cappa as he walks back to his corner. COACH That's right! You go back to your corner! Cheater. Mr. Boricua yells at the crowd. He screams, and then picks Tha Puerto Rican up. PRL kicks Boricua in the gut. PR punches Boricua in the face several times! But then Mr. Boricua chops PRL in the throat! COLE Now come on! That was a cheapshot! COACH No it wasn't. Boricua gives PRL an arm-drag! He then stomps on PR. Mr. B picks The P.R. Menace up and whips him into the ropes. Mr. Boricua goes for a clothesline, Tha Puerto Rican ducks, kicks Mr. Boricua in the gut, and gives him a double-armed DDT! COLE Double-armed DDT from The People's Champ! Vitamin X panics on the outside. Popick remains stoic. P.R. picks Boricua up and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes--Mr. Boricua reverses--Mr. Boricua hits PR with a HARD clothesline! COLE And just like that, Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall are back in control! Boricua screams at the crowd. He picks PRL up. He places Puerto in a facelock, puts PR's left arm over his head, grabs his tights, and lifts him up, holding him in the air so that he can drop him stomach-first onto the top ring rope! Boricua then climbs the top rope and positions himself...then jumps off the top rope, hitting PRL in the back of the head with a kneedrop! COLE Such agility from the 6'9" 300 pound Mr. Boricua! COACH Not too many big men can do what he does! COLE No sir. PRL has crumbled onto the mat, so Mr. Boricua goes for the cover. ONE! TWO! THREE--KICK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mr. Boricua yells. He yells some more. Cuban Wall tells Mr. Boricua to do something. Mr. Boricua picks Tha Puerto Rican up and takes him over to The Lightning Crew corner. He makes the tag to Cuban Wall, and then holds PRL up so that Cuban Wall can kick PR in the stomach! Mr. Boricua kicks PRL in the stomach! Wall punches Tha Puerto Rican in the face several times. He then runs over and punches The Mad Cappa! Cappa quickly recovers and enters the ring, but is held back by Earl Hebner! While Cappa is being held back, Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua double team on Tha Puerto Rican, punching him in the face repeatedly while Vitamin X cheers! COLE Now come on! That isn't right! Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua double teaming Tha Puerto Rican while Earl Hebner is with The Mad Cappa! COACH Hey, if the referee didn't see it, it never happened. COLE Oh give me a break! This ain't right! The crowd boos loudly as Tha Puerto Rican crumbles down onto the mat! Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua choke PRL with their boots! PRL gasps for air on the mat! COLE PRL being choked by two men he used to lead! Now, they're being led by that man, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion after the shocking events of three weeks ago! COACH And look at Popick. Just watching. Scouting his competition. And his competition ain't doing so well now! COLE PRL is in a bad way here. He AND Cappa have a World Title match in two weeks. COACH And if Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall keep this up, they won't make it to New Year's Spectacular! HA! HA! The Mad Cappa returns to his corner, so Earl Hebner sees Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall choking Tha Puerto Rican with their feet and orders them to stop. Mr. Boricua goes back to The Lightning Crew corner, while Cuban Wall picks Tha Puerto Rican up and throws him over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE PR hitting the floor with a sickening thud! Mr. Boricua jumps off the ring apron and grabs Tha Puerto Rican, so that he can lift him up and drop him face-first onto the barricade! Mr. Boricua yells. The Mad Cappa gets off the ring apron, but is too late. Cuban Wall exits the ring and heads on over to where Tha Puerto Rican is busy holding his jaw in pain. Wall grabs Puerto and gives him a headbutt! PRL stumbles, so Wall clotheslines the back of PRL's neck! COLE Just like three weeks ago! Cuban Wall clotheslined the back of PRL's neck, which is what started the beatdown that led to PRL and Colombian Heat reuniting! That is how it all started! COACH And now Cuban Wall is giving PRL flashbacks to that awful (great) event from three weeks ago! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is at the mercy of The Lightning Crew on the outside! Wall grabs P.R. and throws him back into the ring. Cuban Wall enters the ring, but then hears Vitamin X say, "BOO-YAH~!", so he walks over to Vitamin X and punches him in the jaw! VITAMIN X OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR!? CUBAN WALL Stop saying 'BOO-YAH~!'! Cuban Wall turns and goes back into the ring. Vitamin X sticks his tongue out at Wall when he's not looking. COLE So Wall still punches Vitamin X in the jaw? COACH Yes, but it's out of love! COLE Right. Right. CW walks on over and makes the tag to Mr. Boricua. Wall picks Tha Puerto Rican up and holds him so that Mr. Boricua can kick Puerto in the stomach! COLE Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall in control for the majority of this contest. PRL and Mad Cappa having alot of difficulty handling the two big men, the two beasts of The Lightning Crew! COACH And this surprises you because...? Mr. Boricua gives PRL a snapmare takeover, and then applies a chinlock on him. COLE Mr. Boricua beating on his former leader. The man who has been in The Lightning Crew for the longest. Mr. Boricua was at one point in time, Tha Puerto Rican's bodyguard. But not anymore! COACH No. Now he's Popick's bodyguard! COLE And somehow that's even worse. COACH That's our World Champion you're talking about! How rude! Earl Hebner checks on Tha Puerto Rican. Mr. Boricua cinches the chinlock tight. He yells. "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" COLE This crowd trying to bring Tha Puerto Rican back to life! COACH It's not going to work! Suddenly, PRL starts shaking his fists. The crowd gets hotter. PRL gets to his left knee. Mr. Boricua is shocked. Cuban Wall tells Boricua to keep the chinlock locked on. PRL slowly gets to his feet. COLE You were saying? COACH There's no proof that it was the crowd's fault! COLE Yeah, but still... COACH No proof! I was right! COLE Oy. Tha Puerto Rican gets to a vertical base, still trapped in the chinlock. The crowd gets hotter and hotter. PR elbows Boricua in the gut! He does it again! And again! And again! And again! PRL escapes the chinlock and starts punching Mr. Boricua in the face! The crowd comes to life! PRL keeps on hitting Mr. Boricua in the face, dazing and confusing the big man. Cuban Wall, Popick, Vitamin X and The Bone Thug can only watch as PRL whips Mr. Boricua into the ropes--NO--Mr. Boricua reverses the Irish whip! Mr. Boricua goes for a clothesline, Tha Puerto Rican ducks, stops in his tracks, jumps up, grabs Mr. Boricua from behind, and gives him an Edge-O-Matic! COLE What a move from Tha Puerto Rican! The Edge-O-Matic took all of the energy out of Tha Puerto Rican! So much so, that he collapses onto the mat! Both Mr. Boricua and Tha Puerto Rican lie on the mat fatigued! The Mad Cappa and Cuban Wall watch as Earl Hebner starts his 10 count. "1!" "2!" COLE Both Cappa and Cuban Wall want the tag! COACH Get up, Boricua! Get up! "3!" "4!" PRL starts moving. "5!" Mr. Boricua starts moving. "6!" COLE Both men making a move now! "7!" Mr. Boricua crawls to his corner. "8!" Tha Puerto Rican crawls to his corner. "9!" Mr. Boricua makes the tag to Cuban Wall. Just as Tha Puerto Rican makes the tag to The Mad Cappa! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE And The Mad Cappa is finally back in this match! Cuban Wall goes for a punch--BLOCKED! The Mad Cappa fires with lefts and rights on the 6'7" former OAOAST 24/7 Champion! Meanwhile, Vitamin X and The Bone Thug grab Tha Puerto Rican and force him to the outside where they start stomping on him! COLE Hey! Wait a minute! Tha Puerto Rican has been taken outside! Vitamin X and The Bone Thug are doing a number on him! COACH AGAIN! This is great! Vitamin X and The Bone Thug lay into Tha Puerto Rican! The crowd boos loudly! But they start cheering when Colombian Heat runs down the entrance ramp--NO! Spanish Fly attacks Heat and starts beating on him on the entrance ramp! COLE Damnit! For the third week in a row, Spanish Fly has attacked Colombian Heat! And now, they are beating on each other on the entrance ramp! COACH Get him, Fly! Make The Lightning Crew proud! Spanish Fly stomps on Heat! He picks him up...and gets punched in the face! Colombian Heat fires with punches all over Spanish Fly's face! Back in the ring, Cuban Wall gives The Mad Cappa a big boot, which causes Cappa to stumble backwards into the ring ropes, which he gets tangled up in! COLE And oh no! Cappa is trapped! He is trapped in those ropes! COACH Heh. Cappa's doomed! Cuban Wall laughs evilly. He taunts Cappa, while The Mad One struggles to escape! On the outside, Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly are brawling on the entrance ramp, while Vitamin X and The Bone Thug pummel Tha Puerto Rican! Stephen Joseph Popick remains stoic the entire time. COLE Things are breaking down here! We've got wrestlers fighting all over the arena! The Lightning Crew, The Badd Boyz, The Mad Cappa! They're all fighting! COACH And we still got a match! Look! Wall's got The Mad Cappa right where he wants him! Cuban Wall punches Cappa in the face several times. Wall then walks backwards into the opposite ropes. He yells, and then charges forward-- right into a kick by The Mad Cappa! COACH Oh no! Cappa kicks to break free...and does! The Mad Cappa charges forward with a flying clothesline knocking Cuban Wall down! Cappa goes for the cover. 1... 2... KICK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE Close call there! COACH Things are going wild here! As the fighting continues on the outside, on the inside, The Mad Cappa stomps on Cuban Wall. He picks Wall up and gives him a whip into the ropes--Cuban Wall reverses--Cappa bounces off the ropes. Lou Thesz Press! COLE Lou Thesz Press from The Mad Cappa! Cappa pummels Cuban Wall with rights! Mr. Boricua enters the ring. Cappa gets off of Wall and headbutts Mr. Boricua in the gut! He does it again! And again! Cuban Wall gets up and attacks The Mad Cappa from behind! Wall and Boricua double team on The Mad Cappa in the ring, while outside of the ring, Vitamin X and The Bone Thug continue assaulting Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Things are breaking down here in Fresno! Earl Hebner tries to stop the brawling inside of the ring, but can't, so he calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* (10:04) "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE That's it! The match is over! COACH Aw! Weak! Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua double team The Mad Cappa, while Vitamin X and The Bone Thug double team Tha Puerto Rican. Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly fight up the entrance ramp, and soon disappear through the sliding doors. COLE It's a madhouse out here! A MADHOUSE! COACH There's fighting everywhere! I love it! The Mad Cappa fights back, going back and forth punching Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall! COLE Cappa's fighting back! Cappa's fighting back! COACH What!? No! No! No! No! No! Cappa gets Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall dazed and confused. Meanwhile, Vitamin X picks Tha Puerto Rican up. Suddenly, PRL springs to life hitting Vitamin X with a punch! PRL hits The Bone Thug with a punch! He hits Vitamin X with a punch! He hits The Bone Thug with a punch! COLE And now Tha Puerto Rican has come back to life! COACH NOOOOOOOOOO! Tha Puerto Rican goes back and forth! Bone Thug! VX! Bone Thug! VX! Bone Thug! VX! Bone Thug! VX! Tha Puerto Rican hits Vitamin X and The Bone Thug with Rock-style punches to the temple! Once both X and Bone Thug are stunned, PRL grabs them...and BUTTS THEIR HEADS TOGETHER! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE PRL knocks The Bone Thug and Vitamin X out with that move! COACH Not a bloody double noggin knocker! Vitamin X and The Bone Thug lay unconscious on the protective mats. PRL taunts them, and then enters the ring, where he joins The Mad Cappa in beating up Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua! COLE I don't believe this! Cappa and PRL are teaming up AGAIN! COACH What's wrong with you guys! FIGHT BACK! FIGHT BACK! FIGHT BACK! FIGHT BACK! FIGHT BACK! FIGHT BACK! FIGHT BACK! FIGHT BACK! FIGHT BACK! PR hammers on Mr. Boricua, while The Mad Cappa takes care of Cuban Wall! Stephen Joseph Popick looks on worried as he watches PR and Cappa take it to the two big men of The Lightning Crew! Vitamin X and The Bone Thug are still knocked out on the outside! COLE Fans, we are out of time! Thank you for joining us here on HeldDOWN~! We'll see you next week with another live edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~! The final OAOAST HeldDOWN~! of 2007! For Jonathan "Da Coach" Coachman, I'm Michael Cole saying so long and have a Merry Christmas! A Happy Chanukah! And a Happy Kwanza! Good night everybody! The Mad Cappa takes Cuban Wall to a turnbuckle corner and beats on him, getting Cuban Wall severely weakened. Tha Puerto Rican whips Mr. Boricua into the opposite turnbuckle corner. Tha Puerto Rican charges forward, and gives Mr. Boricua a Stinger Splash! The crowd cheers loudly. Stephen Joseph Popick freaks out on the outside, while Vitamin X and The Bone Thug are still knocked out on the outside. This is the last thing we see before we fade to black. FADE OUT

Attempting to forget about her haphazard and failed plot to rid the OAOAST of Krista Isadora Duncan, Mackenzie sits in her dressing room, pouring over the financial records of Miss Spezia Sweeties. And speak of the devil, who else should come bursting through the door but Alix Maria Spezia! Attired in a LA Kings tank top with the last name of defensemen Rob Blake etched across the back, and a pair of black capri shorts, Alix carries a gift box in her hand. ALIX Hi-ya, Mackie! Guess what I have? Presents, presents, presents, part two! Presents, presents, presents, part two! Wanna know what this one is for? MACKENZIE Christmas? ALIX Christmas? Uh, don't you mean X-Mas? Malcolm X-Mas? Christmas was invented by cracker tricknology, as a way for the Neo-Nazi corporate fascists to round us up with the rest of proletariat and undesirables to clean the carriage stables of the ultra class! MACKENZIE What's the ultra class? ALIX I don't need to know. I just have to shovel the filth! Your kind gorges themselves at the troth while we the working class, are left sucking the crumbs off your two thousand dollar tie. I don't even own a tie! MACKENZIE I see. uh.....Presents, presents, presents, part two! Presents, presents, presents, part two! ALIX Oh, wow! You got me presents? That's awesome! And my mother called you a homewrecking whore? You can wreck all the homes you want if you got Alicia Keys CD for me. MACKENZIE No, you said you have presents for me. You know, the one in your hand? Shocked, Alix looks down to see that their actually is a present in her hand. ALIX Huh? Oh! Wow! I do! Bitchin! Yeah, so right on, here ya go, Mackie! Alix tosses Mackenzie the present, which she amazingly fails to catch, letting it ungracefully clunk against the floor. ALIX Uh, I guess we've figured out who's butch in this relationship. Ignoring, Alix's snide remark, Mackenzie digs through the poorly applied SpongeBob wrapping paper to uncover a magnificent set of diamond earrings. MACKENZIE Are these for me? Baby, they're beautiful! (reading the card that came with it) Thank you for twenty days of magic and wonderment? Baby, you even learned to spell magic! ALIX And that damn Disney-ez spell said I could never do it. In your face Donald Duck, you marble mouth pill popping canard! MACKENZIE I can't believe I forgot our twenty day anniversary. What's wrong with me? You know what, when we get back to Los Angeles, I want you take my credit card go down to the little girl's department at Macy's and by yourself a nice pair of shorts. ALIX I can't fit little girls shorts! MACKENZIE Uh-huh, I know, that's the point. ALIX Ooooooh, kink-ay! MACKENZIE I have another present for you to. In fact, I have multiple presents for you. ALIX If you're gonna ask me to get rid of Christian's herpes scabs with a power sander. Then I'd rather I dye my hair green and ride a purple elephant to Rite-Aid! MACKENIZE Well, I looked, but they don't make power sanders that big, so keep the saddle in the closet for now. Instead I'm in the process of lining up several big matches for you. Yep, you heard that right. ALIX For me! For me! For me! Is one against a dinosaur? Oh, please say its against a dinosaur! Ever since Baby Bop refused my friend request on Myspace I've harbored deep rooted lustings for swift and brutal revenge against her and her kind. MACKENZIE No. A dinosaur would put a terrible strain on our insurance department's budget. ALIX Oh that's sucky.........is one against dinosaur? MACKENZIE (defeated) Yes. Yes one is against a dinosaur. One, I think you know pretty well. A certain Baby Bop? I heard that she denied your friend request on Myspace. ALIX Who told you? Have you been spying on me! Ugh, Mackie, get a life of your own! Jeez! Eager to not enter a hopeless argument with Alix, Mackenzie shifts the subject back to presents. MACKENZIE Presents, presents, presents, part two! Presents, presents, presents, part two! ALIX Cool, gimmie! MACKENZIE Sorry, the other matches are a surprise. ALIX A surprise! A surprise! A surprise! Is a surprise one of those big fat Japanese dudes from HI-YAH? Because then I'd rather just have a futon, because its kinda like sitting in the lap of a big fat Japanese dude. Only he's made out of leather! And hopefully he has four different vibrate settings. MACKENZIE Certainly a marketing concept we can submit to the fine folks at La-z-boy. Alix, I have some work I need to get finished. Why don't you go to the local grocery store, maybe get yourself a coloring book, or something, and you can come back and we can do our work together? ALIX Groovy! But I need a little money from the ATM. MACKENZIE You got it, baby. Mackenzie stands up, and walks to her purse. Quickly she pulls her card out of her wallet and dangles it in front of Alix's face. Mackenzie catches Alix entirely off guard by slowly tracing the little strip of plastic down her chest. As the the soft touch of Mackenzie's hand against her chest sends shock waves against her body, Alix's heart is melted by the seductive gaze Mackenzie washes over her. MACKENZIE Sorry. Denied. MACKENZIE (swiping it through Alix's chest) Denied again. Turn around. Licking her wet lips, Mackenzie slowly glides the card down Alix's back, and tenderly leads it across the firm BUTT her eyes admires so lustily. MACKENZIE Mmmm...approved Satisfied with Alix's moneymaker, Mackenzie digs into her purse and pulls out a wad of cash which she stuffs into Alix's hand. ALIX Okay, I meant the real ATM, but um, this works to. Alix gives Mackenzie a quick peck on the cheek, then scurries out the room. Our view switches to the religions of the world themed decor of the announce table COLE Well, folks, so far its been a fantastic holiday HeldDOWN, and right now I'd like to tell you a bit about... THE LIGHTS GO DARK WITH THE SOUND OF A BELL COLE: What - THE BELL RINGS AGAIN, AND A FULL MOON FLARES TO LIFE ON THE TRON FAMILIAR GUITAR CHORDS begin echoing throughout the arena - "Hell's Bells" by AC/DC! ON THE TRON: SPIDER-POET, Clinging on for dear life to the swinging cell-top cage door! JINGUS trying to pull him down, BUT HE MAKES IT! Cole: Does anybody know what the hell this is?! SpiderPoet's been missing for years - BRIGHT FLASH - THE STAGE EXPLODES IN BLUE AND WHITE PYRO! ALL GOES DARK! The MOON slowly fades up and BURSTS INTO BLUE FLAME, leaving a PHOENIX SYMBOL FAMILIAR MALE VOICE: Ashes and ashes, time passes in refining fire, and time's up for every liar. DARKNESS COMMERCIAL BREAK

OAOAST HeldDOWN is brought to you by Super Mario Galaxy-Now In Stores Charlie Wilson's War - In Theaters Tomorrow High School Musical 2: Extended Edition-Buy it on DVD today! *DING DING DING* (slow and dramatic) BUFFER LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen, this is one half of our double main event here on HeldDOWN~! Where tonight, two of the year's breakout OAOAST superstars, for the International championship of the WORLD! ARE YOU READY? *crowd cheers* BUFFER Fresno, California...ARRRRRRE YYYYYYOU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRREADY? *crowd cheers louder* BUFFER Then for the thousands in attendance here in Fresno, and the millions and millions watching all over the world...there's only one thing left to say. Ladies and gentlemen...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRRREADY TO RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! Master Blaster (Jammin') plays, and Denzel Spencer gets a huge reaction as he makes his way to the ring. BUFFER Coming to the ring at this time, weighing in at 226 1/2 pounds...this man has come within a hair of becoming a World champion, and he has another shot right here tonight. The challenger...from Montego Bay, Jamaica...DENNNNNZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPENCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRR!!!!! COLE Two weeks ago, Denzel Spencer was pinned by Felix Strutter in a fatal 4-way match which saw the International World title change hands, but not before a man dressed in all black made his way through the crowd and attacked Spencer, costing him the match! Spencer slides into the ring and poses on the buckles, as the crowd continues to cheer. Je t'adore, je t'adore... Girls, Girls, Girls plays, and Felix Strutter makes his way through the entrance of smoke and pink strobes, greeted by boos. BUFFER His opponent...weighing in at 217 1/2 pounds...tonight, this man makes his first defense of his first World title which he won two weeks ago! Ladies and gentlemen...from San Jose, California...the OAOAST International champion of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD..."AFTER HOURS" FFFFFFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX SSSSSTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRR!!!!! Strutter climbs into the ring, then poses with the belt on the side of the ropes, then hands it to the referee, who calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COLE What a ride Felix Strutter has had here in the OAOAST! It was about 16 months ago that he came into the company, he's won a six-man title, a two-time Heartland champion, and just two weeks ago, became a World champion for the first time in his career! Strutter and Spencer circle the ring and tie up. Strutter goes behind, but Spencer is able to get momentum and take him through the middle ropes! COLE Nice escape by Denzel Spencer, in this World championship match! Strutter slaps the mat in frustration, then slides back inside and ties up again. Strutter gets a knee to the gut, then whips Spencer into the ropes, and attempts a hiptoss, but Spencer spins through and delivers one of his own! Spencer follows that up with a armdrag! Strutter gets to his feet again, and is hit with a big dropkick! Strutter rolls outside again, as the crowd gets behind Spencer. COLE And Denzel Spencer on a roll here to start the match! Spencer follows, and Strutter runs away, causing Spencer to give chase. Strutter slides in, and when Spencer slides in after him, he's met with an elbow to the back of the head! COACH Smart move by Felix! COLE Very smart indeed, Denzel falling for one of the oldest tricks in the book! Strutter stomps away on Spencer, then picks him up and executes a snap suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Strutter backs Spencer into a corner, and starts firing off European uppercuts. He then whips Spencer across, and charges, but Spencer moves out of the way! COLE Spencer able to avoid that charge from Strutter! Spencer delivers a foot to the gut, then backs up, and catches Strutter with a spinning neckbreaker! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Spencer whips Strutter into a corner, and charges, but Strutter moves out of the way! Spencer staggers out, and is caught with a spinning heel kick! COACH There we go! Nice kick! Strutter catches his wind briefly, then tosses Spencer out to the outside. COLE And Strutter would love to get a count-out victory here... Strutter allows Spencer to climb back onto the apron, then grabs him in a front facelock, before spinning around and dropping his throat across the ropes, sending him back to the floor! The referee reprimands him, as Spencer tries to get on the apron once again. Strutter drags him in, and drops a fist to the face! A second one, and a cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Strutter picks up Spencer and attempts to ram him into the buckle, but Spencer blocks and rams Strutter instead! Spencer then kicks at Strutter, allowing him to catch the foot, then spins backwards and catches Strutter with his free foot, causing Strutter to stagger back and get tied up in the ropes! COLE And Strutter is tied up! The crowd buzzes as Spencer points at Strutter, then starts to hammer away! COACH Come on, ref, break this up! Hebner backs Spencer up, then tries to free Strutter. Spencer charges, but Strutter gets a foot up! COLE And it looks like Strutter's going to break it up himself! Strutter whips Spencer into the ropes, but Spencer ducks a clothesline and catches him with a bodypress! 1... 2... Kickout! Strutter hits a thrust to the throat, drawing more verbal abuse from the referee. Strutter then tosses Spencer out, but Spencer skins the cat! COLE And Spencer hangs on, just like two weeks ago! Strutter spots this, and sends him right back over with a clothesline! COACH He didn't hang on that time! Strutter catches his breath, then follows Spencer outside, and sends him into the steel steps! COLE And Denzel Spencer goes right into the steel steps! Strutter then climbs onto the apron, and comes down onto Spencer with a double axhandle as he gets to his feet! Strutter then tosses Spencer back inside, going up to the top, and leveling him with a missile dropkick! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Big-time dropkick, but not enough yet! COACH But Strutter's on a roll now, Cole! Strutter picks up Spencer, and executes a DDT! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Strutter sets up Spencer, and executes a fisherman's buster! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Strutter picks up Spencer and attempts a back suplex, but Spencer flips over the back, and starts to fire off right hands! COLE And Spencer fighting back! Spencer whips Strutter into the ropes, but puts his head down, and takes a kick from Strutter! Strutter then charges, but Spencer backdrops him to the floor! COLE And Strutter all the way down to the floor! Spencer follows him out, and tosses him back inside. Spencer climbs to the top, and hits him with a MISSILE DROPKICK~! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Strutter gets his foot on the rope! Spencer stomps on Strutter as Strutter rolls to the ropes. Spencer charges, but Strutter dumps him over the top. Spencer lands on the apron, however, and delivers a shoulder to the gut, followed by a sunset flip! 1... 2... Kickout! Spencer climbs onto the shoulders of Strutter, and comes down with a victory roll! 1... 2... Kickout! Spencer then sets up Strutter, and drills him with a SITOUT POWERBOMB~! 1... 2... NO! Strutter gets the shoulder up! Strutter begs off, as Spencer follows him into a corner. Spencer delivers right hands, then picks Strutter up and whips him across. He charges, but Strutter moves, and Spencer rams into the post shoulder-first! COLE Strutter moving, and Spencer running with his shoulder right into the steel ringpost! Strutter gets his wits about him, then grabs Spencer, and attempts an Irish whip. Spencer tries to reverse, but Strutter reverses his reversal, and the end result is Spencer colliding with the referee! COLE And the referee goes down! Strutter catches Spencer with a back suplex, then goes to the top rope. COACH And here comes that Shooting Star legdrop, Cole! Strutter gets his balance on the top, and comes off for the SHOOTING STAR LEGDROP~!!!!!11111 ... ...but Spencer rolls out of the way! COLE Nobody home! Spencer gets to his feet slowly, and sets Strutter up for his own Thunder Bay Throttle! COLE Look at this! COACH What is this? Suddenly, the mystery man comes in through the crowd again! COLE Hey, there's that guy again! The man grabs Spencer from behind, but Spencer kicks his leg back, catching him with a low blow! The man falls to the mat, and loses his hood, revealing...REGGIE LAMONT??? COLE Hey...is that Reggie Lamont? COACH It is! COLE The former tag team partner of Denzel Spencer! But why? Spencer has a stunned look on his face, as Strutter attacks from behind. Lamont joins in, causing the revived referee to call for the bell. *DING DING DING* COLE I can't believe this! Strutter and Lamont stomp away at Spencer, then Lamont picks up Spencer, and executes a sitout front suplex! COACH This is great, Cole! Strutter and Lamont celebrate, then Lamont raises Strutter's hand as the crowd boos. COLE Reggie Lamont is back in the OAOAST, and he has turned his back on his former tag team partner! These two have got a lot of explaining to do in the coming shows! But there's still more to come on this very show! The camera cuts to the backstage area where Colombian Heat and The Mad Cappa are shown. The Mad Cappa is pacing back and forth while Colombian Heat sits on a table, the OAOAST United States Championship belt over his left shoulder. The crowd cheers loudly. Cappa is muttering to himself. THE MAD CAPPA Where is he? What's taking him so long? Look, he better be here soon! Do you know where your friend is? COLOMBIAN HEAT Naw, dude. PR likes to show up whenever he wants to. I's can't control him. THE MAD CAPPA Well, he better be here soon. Let's just get this match over with. I don't like it anymore than I'm sure he does! Suddenly, into the shot walks Tha Puerto Rican. The crowd cheers loudly. PR has an annoyed look on his face. The Mad Cappa stares at his longtime nemesis, keeping his guard up just incase. Colombian Heat watches, hoping that nothing breaks down between them. THE MAD CAPPA Well, look who finally decided to show up! THA PUERTO RICAN Okay Cappa. If the two of us have to team up tonight, let's go over a few ground rules. First off, I am the captain of this team. Not you. Me. That means YOU must follow MY lead at all times. What I say goes. You got that? THE MAD CAPPA Listen-- PRL Second. Do not look at me in the eye unless I say so. When we are in the ring, I want you to address me ONLY as 'Captain'. Not 'dude.' Not 'buddy.' Not 'compadre.' CAPTAIN. All right? Cappa just stares at PRL. PRL Third. This match DOES NOT, I REPEAT, DOES NOT change anything! We are not friends. We are not buddies. We are not compadres. We are not homies. We are not amigos. We are not chums. We are not heterosexual life partners. We are NOTHING! Don't ask me to do something with you after the show. Don't take me out to drink beer with you. Don't call me. Don't text me. Don't IM me. Don't send me a message or a comment on MySpace OR Facebook OR Friendster. Don't even ask to sit next to me on a bus! I will not answer. I don't want you in my life at all. I am only teaming up with you because I HAVE to. Not because I WANT to. Do we have an understanding, Mad Cappa? THE MAD CAPPA Loud and clear, P.R. Now, let me tell YOU something. You ain't gonna tell me what to do EVER. Not in the ring, not here, not ANYWHERE! And I'll call you whatever I want to call you. If I want to call you a slimeball, I will! If I want to call you a Puerto Rican jackass, I will! Third, this is not about your hand, or me tagging it. I don't like your hand. I don't like any part of you. But tonight, for one night only, it's not about who's better, you or me. It's about you and I getting in the ring together and kicking some Lightning Crew ass! Understand? PRL You know, just because you DIDN'T crush my larynx last week doesn't mean I owe you anything. CAPPA You don't have to. I don't care. I didn't do it because I like you. I did it because I didn't want to do Stephen Joseph's bidding. But the issue between us? That ain't over. PRL *Sigh* You will never get over it, will you? CAPPA Oh, will you cut it out with that bullsh-- PRL I'm not the one still clinging to the past, aren't I? The past few months have been WAY more interesting for me than whatever happened in 2003! Unlike you, my career didn't peak three years ago! No, my career hasn't even PEAKED yet! I'm not even in my prime, baby! I STILL got a ways to go! CAPPA Not if you keep running your mouth like that you won't! PRL Are you threatening me? You wanna break it down right here, right now? CAPPA Maybe I am, Puerto! Maybe I am! PRL Oh, I'll break it down! I'll break it down BUCK WILD STYLE! YA HEARD ME!? CAPPA Why don't we break it down right now, BITCH! LET'S GO! PRL OH, WE'LL GO! WE'LL GO RIGHT NOW! JUST BRING IT, CAPPA! I AIN'T AFRAID OF YOU ANYMORE! I'M RIGHT HERE! LET'S DO IT! CAPPA ALL RIGHT! I'LL DO IT! I'LL DO IT RIGHT NOW! RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW! PR and The Mad Cappa continue arguing, getting in each other's faces. The crowd cheers. COLOMBIAN HEAT YO! YO! YO! YO! YO! CHILL! CHILL! CHILL! CHILL! CHILL! Colombian Heat gets in between Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa. He holds them back, even though both PRL and Cappa are ready to fight at any moment. HEAT Yo! Calm down, y'all! Calm the hell down! Now look, I's know youse guys hate each other to death. But you gotta remember, both of y'all have a common enemy. His name is Stephen Joseph Popick! And this is exactly what he wants. Do youse want to do what Stephen Joseph Popick WANTS you to do!? Naw, I don't think youse two do. So don't. Work together tonight. Try and forget about tha past for at least a couple of minutes. Go out there, and kick some Lightning Crew ass THEN youse two can go back to hatin' each other. And besides, youse guys are gonna fight in two weeks on tha New Year's Spectacular, so why fight now? Fight in tha ring, with tha World Title on tha line, when it counts! Not here. Not backstage. Ya feel me? Do ya feel me? Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa stare at each other. Both men are fuming. THA PUERTO RICAN You know something? Heat's right. COLOMBIAN HEAT Damn right I is. PRL The Mad Cappa and Tha Puerto Rican, we can talk all night long. But nothing's ever going to change between you and I. So do yourself a favour, you just meet Tha Puerto Rican in the middle of the ring tonight. PROVE to me that you're as good as you say you are! THE MAD CAPPA You don't worry about me. You JUST BRING IT! PRL Oh I will. I will. The Mad Cappa turns to walk away. PRL continues staring at him. COLOMBIAN HEAT There. Don't we all feel like one big happy family now? PRL looks at Colombian Heat. HEAT Just trying to lighten the mood, is all. PRL Yeah, well don't. HEAT Fine. You're Mr. Brightside aren't you? Tha Puerto Rican glares at Colombian Heat. Colombian Heat smiles at his best friend. The Mad Cappa has left the backstage area. The crowd cheers loudly. (Cut to Sofa Central with Double C~!) COLE How can Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa be on the same page after all that they've been through over the years? COACH They can't, which is why they will lose tonight! COLE It should be quite the interesting match-up later on tonight. The Mad Cappa and Tha Puerto Rican TEAM UP to take on Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua in our main event right here tonight on HeldDOWN~! OAOAST QuizDOWN is brought to you by...Blade Runner: 5 Disc Ultimate Edition now available on DVD Who was the third general manager in HeldDOWN history? A.Northstar B.Abe Vigoda C.Josie Baker D.Calvin Szechstein The Answer..... B.Abe Vigoda COMMERCIAL

We cut to the halls backstage where all is calm, for now, with the Christmas spirit running high amongst at least some of the OAOAST workers. Decked out in his finest, crispest suit, Bohemoth is in a typically relaxed mood as he stands chatting away with Jade Rodez. MALIBU Hey, big man. Bo turns around and lowers his orange tinted shades a tad as Zack walks over. Quickly taking the hint, Jade waves a quick 'hi' and 'bye' to Zack and scuttles off and Bo re-positions the shades before folding his arms. MALIBU Good kid. So, got the night off tonight huh? BOHEMOTH Looks like it. MALIBU Well, gives you a little extra time to recover from your gruelling match last week I guess. BOHEMOTH Oh man, don't remind me. The two chuckle a little but it's clear that there's a little tension between them. MALIBU You know, I know I said it last week before you went out into that ring but after what you did, I figure it's worth repeating. They're not all going to be like that. Going through both Conquistadors was pretty impressive, I'll admit. You got my attention. But, at the same time, those two Conquistadors are just the tip of the iceberg. You going through them one on one, two on one, ten on one, whatever, it isn't going to earn you any World Title shots alone. BOHEMOTH Zack, no offence but, I wasn't trying to get your attention last week. MALIBU Oh no? BOHEMOTH No, I wasn't. They tried to jump me and they got what was coming, simple as. I'm glad you enjoyed it though. As far as what you're saying to me right now goes, again, I appreciate your concern but you're preaching old news. And it doesn't matter who's across the ring from me out there. It could be Conquistadors, it could be Biff Atlas, James Blonde, Rodez, Alfdogg, Reject, PRL... you. Zack smirks a little, but also straightens up a bit. BOHEMOTH Doesn't matter. MALIBU Well, it might matter when you try and take two or three of them on at a time big man. So I wouldn't get too far ahead of yourself, if I was you. BOHEMOTH I'll bear it in mind. Thanks. Off strolls Bo, leaving Zack watching on, his expression a hard one to read as we fade away. COMMERCIAL The Look Of Love is in Krista's eyes But will ten of the wildest women on television erase it? December 27th 2007 The Look of Love Debuts COMING UP NEXT ***World International Championship*** Felix Strutter Vs Denzel Spencer NEXT

We see The Mardi Gras Homewrecking sitting backstage playing a game of dice with Los Conquistadors, who not surprisingly are losing. Badly, but at leasT it beats getting beat up by Bohemoth. Suddenly their dice game is shattered by giant duffel bag being dropped in the middle of the field. The foursome isn't terribly disappointed by this, as the dropper of said bag is the lovely Mackenzie DeCenzo, outfitted in a splendid low cut, sequined, strapless evening gown. SOUL Cock-a-doodle do, bitch. What brings yo beautiful eye-talian ass round us niggas and spiggas? Mackenzie plainly rips open the duffel bag to reveal a large stack of cash. All four men's eyes widen with delirious lust over the money. MACKENZIE Cash. Ten thousand dollars of beautiful, wonderful, no strings attached American currency. That's what brings me around. And that's why you're very glad to see me. RICO What's dis for? Why you bring Rico and Lucius all this cash, eh? This ain't no salvation army, Rico ain't out in front the grocery store ringing no bells, holding that red bucket. You gotta explain yaself to Rico, because he's a little confused at the generosity. SOUL Rico, that ain't no way to treat no customer. Learn from a mac, so that you can be a mac. And this Mac has brought us the gift of cash on that fine Christmas season, so we gonna be givin her just what she wants, ho-ho-ho's. We know you down with that dyke shit, and we got bitches that can open they legs wider then Wilt Chamberlin's wing span. Type of freaky-deeky tricks let you all up in they bama jama dooka-rama. Black bitches, white bitches, Mexican bitches, we got all the girls you need to get dat that propah girl on girl swerve. MACKENZIE I have a girlfriend, one I love very much. But, the problem is she has an ex-girlfriend. One I hate very much. One I need to be rid of. Soon. And its come to my understanding that one of you gentlemen will be competing against her tonight. If you could make it so that she'll never be competing against anyone again, then this ten thousand dollars, plus five thousand more, would be all yours. Understand? Lucius seems delighted at this prospect, but Rico interrupts. RICO Hey, keep yer money, chica, dis mission, dis mission would be a pleasure for The Wrecking Crew. A pleasure. Mackenzie smiles and nods, before picking up her bag and walking away. Soul looks at the man who turned down such easy money, and shakes his head in confusion. COMING UP NEXT WE GOT MORE BOUNCE IN CALIFORNIA Miss California Krista Isadora Duncan Vs Lucius Soul NEXT COMMERCIAL "Easy lover She'll get a hold on you believe it Like no other Before you know it you'll be on your knees" The soothing tunes of Eazy Lover fill the air with anything but a soothing mood. Rather its a steady stream of annoyed groans and outright enraged boos that play right along with Phil Collins' track. Despite the chilly reception afforded them, The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew, play it as cool as always as they glide through the entrance doors. Rico, outfitted in orange bell bottom pants and a blue and gold Hawaiian shirt, emerges first, stroking his legendary pornstache, and gazing out to the audience to eye down the more attractive Fresno lovelies. Lucius, attired in black slacks and snake skin boots, is singularly devoted to picking his AWESOME fro. "She's an easy lover She'll take your heart but you won't feel it She's like no other And I'm just trying to make you see" As the pair struts down the ramp, De Janiero tries offers Soul some important nuggets of advice, but can't seem to distract his partner from his hair care routine. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of twenty minutes. Introducing first, from New Orleans, Louisiana, he is one half the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew, Lucius Soul! Climbing onto the ring apron, Soul spots one delightfully phat bottomed honey in the audience, and attempts to win her affection by tossing her his fro pic. Unfortunately, she's less then flattered by this charm and throws it right back at him! Disgusted by this treatment, Soul begins spewing profanties at the entire audience. COLE Its been a bit of a downtime for The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew.. COACH Bit of a downtime? That's like saying a tsunami is a light drizzle! Its been a real cold winter for these cats. Real cold. COLE Well, The Crew have set all of their misfortunes on the laps of the now defunct Chicks Over Dicks. And with Lucius Soul's singles battle against Krista, they think have an opportunity to right the many wrongs. I like them black girls I like them white girls I like them asian girls I like them mixed raced girls I like them spanish girls I like them italian girls I like the french girls And I like Scandanavian girls From the parting entrance doors a calvary of unbelievably gorgeous black, white, Asian, and mixed race, girls, march onto the stage, attired in scintillating camouflage triangle bikini tops, matching hot pants, and each holding toy rifle in their hands. The quickly roving blue, purple and pink spotlights dance along hips that gyrate in spicy seduction, and bodies that flex and bend in the most alluring ways possible. Standing in the center of this well choreographed routine, stands the always mesmerizing Krista Isadora Duncan. Several blue and white playfully decorate the hair that falls just short of a studded halter that pushes up her ample chest. Her lean muscular legs stream from a super short micro skirt into pair of ultra expensive high heels. Suddenly Krista becomes the center of theuniverse, fought by company of army clad dancers. However, she puts on a mask of arrogance, grinning with indifference as she shoves her suitors to the side, and heads down the ramp. BUFFER And the opponent, from Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, a fitness queen, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, she is Miss California Krista Isaodra Duncan! I Get All The Girls I Get All The Girls I Get All The Girls I Get All The Girls The boring steel of the entrance ramp, finds itself shrouded beneath pink and red glitter that glimmers beneath the roving spotlights. Similar to a fashion show runway, a throng of photographers and journalists, all bedecked in all black outfits, devote themselves to capturing the beauty of Krista strutting along this majestic décor with the grace and style of a supermodel. As wind machines playfully toss her vibrant blond hair in front her entrancing face, the photographers trail her path, their cameras working with the pink and purple splotlights to create a fantastic display. Once she reaches the end of the ramp, her hands fall to her slender hips, and her face tilts backwards, bathing in the wind machine's touch while she beams and arresting smirk into the camera. COLE Krista Isadora Duncan, here in her home state of California, and the ovation she's received is huge! And I bet the ovation she'll get at Anglemania in her homwtown of Los Angeles will be even louder! But in the more immediate future, the OAOAST and VH1 are happy to announce that the Look Of Love reality show will debut next week! Eight of the hottest women in the world will compete for their chance to be Krista's new girl, right here on HeldDOWN on TSM! COACH We got sixty eight people on the roster. Sixty eight! GPX ain't been seen since August, James Riggs only gets put on TV to lose, who knows where Chris Stevens is, and they're gonna give that chick her own reality show? That ain't right! Help those who need help, America! Upon entering the ring, Krista stands on the first rope and leans over the top cables, shooting a sly smirk towards her adoring homestate audience. DING DING DING The sound of the bell ringing immedaitley motivates Lucius Soul to begin his quest for redemption against old tormentor. However, Krista is more impressed by the size of his afro, then moved by a will to fight. “Wow, Lucius, that's a big fro!” Stunned by the compliment, Lucius replies “Well, you know what they say? The bigger the fro...” “The bigger the welfare check?” Krista innocently responds. And so it begins. Greatly annoyed by Krista's insulting commentary, Lucius strides towards her for an all out assault, but is quickly tangled into a lockup. That pedestrian hold doesn't last for very long before the queen of fitness snares him into a side headlock. Instantly Soul wraps his arm around her completely bare stomach, simply attempting to overpower her into a back drop. But his efforts earn him little success as the buxom blond merely tightens her grip around his neck. “LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA” Finally, the mac daddy is able to rid himself of her clutches, by placing his hand on her tight tush, and shoving her into the ropes. But, he's unprepared for her return, and her tanned legs bowl him over with a graceful spinning wheel kick. As the audience continues to sing her name, Krista smiles and lovingly fluffs her sun streaked hair. COACH Does she honestly think they're chanting for her because she has nice hair? COLE Don't be jealous over what you ain't got! Krista's heels skirt to the cables, which bounce her back in perfect position to lacerate Soul with a knee drop. But the ice cold pimp has the move well scouted, and rolls forward with an effort to trip KID up. But Krista didn't get two master's degrees to be outsmarted by a guy without a GED, and easily leaps over his lanky frame. The California hottie bounces off the ropes once more, but gets no chance to exert an offensive attack, as Soul knocks her down with a leaping side kick! “BOOOOOOO!” Apparently Soul's been watching some Josephine Baker, because he honestly celebrates his minuscule show of might by doing the Charleston. That's right, this man doin the Charleston. Krista is as every bit as bemused as the audience, and asks “Hey, count chocula, what the fudge? What kind of glass dick have you been smoking from?” “The same one..” “From your ass, bitch!” Krista interrupts SMACK! “YOU GOT PIMP SLAPPED! YOU GOT PIMPED SLAPPED!” COACH Oh! She just smacked the pyrite off that boy's teeth! With embarrassment flaring flames of anger in his mind, Soul launches himself off the ropes, and volleys another leaping side kick at Krista. But she shoots bellow his incoming attack, and when he lands on his snake skin boots he's thrown dangerously off balance. This misstep proves costly, as the easy, breezy, beauitful covergirl is able to snare him into a half nelson without problem. Seconds later, the heavenly babe is drilling him into the canvas with a half nelson face crusher! “If you got girl problems, I feel bad for you, son, I got 99 Problems but a bitch ain't one. Hit me!” With pleasure determines Rico De Janiero, who leaps onto the ring apron, eager to mangle the queen of fitness and beauty. As she charges his position, he angles his fist to explode upon her stunning face. But the only thing that truly explodes, are chilling screams from his mouth as Krista cripples him with a savage titty twister! Though the audience is delighted with her act of cruelty, elderly referee Clem Buzzlefoxer strongly warns against it. Krista's isn't dissuaded by the old man's admonishments, and informs him, “Come on, Clem, look how big these things are, we could vulcanize em, and sell 'em for ten dollars a piece as hockey pucks!” “LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA” Less thrilled about her plans to expand her business to include sporting goods, is Lucius Soul, who pounds the entrepreneur away from his comrade with stinging forearm smashes. As Rico sinks to the outside mats to weep in peace, the smooth soul bro traps his stunned rival into front facelock. Moving with incredible speed, he kicks her expensive footwear out from under her, completely dismantling her balance as he drives her backwards with a leg sweep DDT! Krista head snaps off the canvas like a tennis ball, and her body sags against the floor, momentarily drained of all energy. Soul is wise to pounce on her wounded state, and covers her for a pin “Count dis piece, old head monkey nuts!” He yells to the eternally slow moving referee.. ONE! TWO! But Krista shoots her shoulder off the canvas, drawing an enormous cheer from her fanbase. Soul is not quite as overjoyed as the audience and rattles off a laundry list of faults, pitfalls, and general annoyances with Clem's character in response to the slow count. COACH Yo, Lucius Soul is a macktackular mac daddy. He and Rico told me they got some east end prime bitches for me to practice the art of dickupuncture over the Holiday season. Grabbing Krista by the elaborately designed ribbons in her hair, the native of “Nawlins” drags her upright. He quickly snakes his arm around her thin waist, readying her for her a German Suplex. But, Krissy attempts to counter the attack, by reaching behind her and locking him into an inverted 3/4th facelock. Struck by a furious bout of panic, a hastily moving Soul manages to take advantage of her tiny bodyweight by lifting her into the sky, and twisting her into position for a tombstone piledriver. His calm restored by his reacquisition of control, Soul enlists his advantageous position to take a naughty gaze down her super short skirt. That moment of lust costs him dearly; Krista's fitness model strength allows her to break his grip, push herself into the air, and tighten her lovely legs around his neck. Gravity performs the rest of the duties, as the covergirl is able to effortlessly throw him over with a head scissors. "K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!" Krista imitates a phone, “Brrrring, brrrring, brrrring. What's that? I'm bored? Really? Are you sure? One hundred percent?! Wow. Okay, thanks for calling, uh-huh, bye.” Krista hangs up her imaginary phone, “Okay, gotta skedaddle Clem, if the heart attack gets ya before I do, tell my pal Satan I'll try to catch him after New Years. X-O-X-O!” Much to Clem's amazement, Krista actually attempts to depart the ring in the middle of the bout! Fully aware of the fact that he doesn't get paid unless he works a full match, Buzzlefoxer tries his hardest to woo Krista into finishing the contest, “Krista, before ya go, I gotta tell ya, you ain't like these other dumb dorah's round here. You're one tomato who's on the trolley. I tell ya what, ya even give that dame Ava Gardner a run for her kickers?” “Are we talking Ava, pre or post Frank Sinatra?” “Pre, like a real classy dame!” “Clem, you old charmer, do tell me more before the Alzheimer's kicks in and you start thinking I'm Eleanor Roosevelt.” Obviously Soul isn't as enamored with the conversation as those of us with a working knowledge of mid 20th century celebrities might be. Thus while Clem regales Krista with tales of his time as a general in the war between the states, Soul succeeds in weaving his arm between her's. His leg coils itself around her knee, granting him the ability to drive her backwards with a side Russian leg sweep! Not wishing to waste a moment of time, the fast talking pimp scurries atop her for a pinfall... ONE! TWO! To the fans' immense joy, Krissy aggressively pops out of the pin, prompting Soul to scream at Clem, “Yo, you dookie lookin bustah fucka, that was three duckets on dem ten crackajacks! Seppatown now!” As Buzzlefoxer tries determine what Soul just said, the former HI-YAH tag champion scrapes Krista off the canvas by her teeny tiny halter top. He throws her into the ropes facing the entrance stage, then speedily rushes to the ropes that face that the cameras in the stands. Operating with pinpoint accuracy and flawless timing, Soul lowers his shoulders into a pounce as their speeding paths near a collision point. Unfortunately for him, Miss California moves just a shade faster then him, and violently clamps her arms around his neck. Momentum throws her million dollar body forward, and drives his eight dollar body downwards and crashing into the canvas courtesy of the Blonds Never Pay A Cover (side effect!) “LUCIUS SUCKS! LUCIUS SUCKS!” Shocked that the audience just now realizes this, Krista whips out her imaginary cellphone. “Hi, day old news? Yes? I'm fine, thanks for asking. Yeah, I'd like to cancel Fresno's subscription, they're going to be giving their business to behind the times. Uh-huh. Love you to, buh-bye!” COLE I'm just gonna float this out there...and if you guys dig it, you can take it; if not, you just send it right on back. But what does everyone think of disbanding the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew and selling their roster space to advertisers? Still gainfully employed by the OAOAST, Soul scrapes his rail thin carcass off the canvas. In an effort to turn the fleeting tides of momentum back towards him, he whirls like a dervish with a twisting kick aimed at Krista's midsection. But the golden haired honey catches the boot in her hands and promptly curses him with a 360 nauseating twirl. On the verge of vomiting, and faced with a foe who's flashing him a beauty pageant worthy smile, Soul can do nothing but gasp in fright as she locks her arm beneath his. Mere moments later he's besieged by another dizzying spin, one that violently throws him into the mats at the hands of the You Say Tomato I Say Fuck You! (Spinning STO) “K-I-D IS G-O-D! K-I-D IS G-O-D! K-I-D IS G-O-D!" her home state fans ring out. "Oh don't chant that, its so embarrassing, I'm not god...of course I'm god, chant that all you want. Free day passes to purgatory for all of you!" Amazingly, the smooth soul bro finds the strength within him to drag his weary body off the canvas. But there's no moment to strike for Soul, as Krissy grabs onto his scrawny wrist and flings him into the corner. The jarring impact of the collision with the turnbuckles rips the breath straight from his lungs, and forces him to stagger aimlessly towards the center of the ring. His dazed stumbling is brought to a sudden and violent halt thanks to the high heels of Krista Isadora Duncan, pulverizing his skull with a fantastic enziguri! Soul timbers over like a fallen oak tree, the color all but drained from his dark skin as his cheek bounces off the rock solid canvas. Krista follows that impressive strike with a pinfall, CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! But, Soul kicks out at the last possible nanosecond! “BOOOOOOOOO!” scream the fans, as Soul remains on the canvas attending to his sore facial features. Krissy's unsympathetic to his misery, and hovers above him, barking out, “Hurry and get up, before I slice off your coco puffs and decorate them with nouveau Renaissance era pastels!” Not endeared to the idea of being stripped in French mauve, a dizzied Soul follows her demands. Instantly, she seizes upon him with a half nelson. But before she can begin the early stages of her face crusher, the pimp wheels free of her clutches. Now placed on the offensive, Soul strides forward to tag her with a left cross. But the California sex kitten counters this attack by caving in his insides with an inverted lungblower! While the crowd pours forth huge cheers, Soul flops onto the canvas, feeling as though he's just been blasted in the stomach by a cannonball. COLE Rico De Janiero turned down the cash Mackenzie was offering because he said this would be a pleasure for he and Soul, but so far there's nothing pleasurable going on for the Wrecking Crew. Gripping onto a firm chunk of his unkempt afro, Krista guides Soul off the canvas. But her rival recovers enough of his strength to slam his knee into her six packed abdomen. Weakened and dazed by the unexpected strike Krista releases Soul to grab a moment to catch her breath. Unfortunately that moment doesn't come her way, as the mackalicious hustlah compresses her arms into a double underhook. With incredible force and speed he throws her backwards with a powerful underhook suplex! The second her body slams into the canvas, she cringes in anguish, bringing worried gasps from her army of female admirers. “Lucius Soul, baby, purely mackin, and mackin purely!” “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Drawing on the strength from the numerous lesbians that chant her name, Krissy lifts herself off the canvas. Problematically, she raises herself directly into the waiting clutches of her enemy's front face lock. Soul clamps down onto her skimpy micro skirt then foists her into her air, holding her into position to showcase what he believes to be impressive strength. Her flowing blond hair spills freely across his arm, while he giggles treacherously over the pain he's soon to inflict upon her. COLE You know that trick is only cool when the person you're holding in the air doesn't have the bodyweight of a large Yorkshire terrier. As the audience jeers his mammoth arrogance, the smooth soul bro dives backwards and spikes Krista's head into the mat with a punishing brainbuster! The fans react with horrified shrieks, as a replay of the devastating hold flashes on the video screens. Gold teeth shining through a satisfied smirk, Soul hooks her legs for pivotal pinfall... ONE! TWO! Krista kicks out! “YEAAAAA!” scream her home state fans. Bemused by his failure to secure victory Soul moans, “Straight up, nigga, Chauncey, dis bitch a ten outta ten on the ho scale, and a three outta three on the knocked up scale.” “Come on,mang, keep the focus!” Rico screams on the outside. Following Rico's gruffly stated orders, Soul pounces upon his beautiful foe, while her blasting headache continues to keep her grounded. His bony fingers tangle beneath her chin, and his sharp knee impales itself in her bare back to fully apply the dreaded chinlock. Krista's screams are constant and piercing as it appears her adversary has every intention of ripping her head clear off her neck. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” “If you dont stop chantin this scallywap's name, I'ma bugga hook you all back to Frisco!” Soul warns the audience. Krista's body helplessly sags to the side, and for the moment it seems as though Lucius Soul is actually on the verge of a major upset. But, Miss California, aided by the unwavering support of her fellow golden staters, calls upon a mighty surge of strength and begins waging a frantic war to fight to her feet. Such a possibility does not sit well with Soul, and he works to tighten his death grip on the vicious vixen. But that does nothing to stop her ascent, and she stands fully upright, gaining a large ovation from the audience. Fulled by adrenaline (and need for an alcohol buzz!), Krista begins pumping elbow after elbow into LS' midsection. The first several shots can't convince Soul to break his grip, but once he begins to feel as if he has shrapnel lodged into his midsection he concedes his surrender. But he doesn't quite put himself on the defense, though, and begins hammering Krista with well placed forearms to her upper back. When he feels that she's been sufficiently weakened, he throws her into the ring cables. The ropes quickly spit her back into a waiting spin kick from the new age pimp. But much to her fans joy, she rolls beneath his twirling assault! Soul isn't deterred or thrown off balance by the avoidance, however, and comes right back wielding a dangerous elbow smash! Unfortunately for him, the dripping hot babe catches both his arms, and strikes him with a HHH-esque facecrusher! “YEAAAAA!” COLE Oh man! If Lucius Soul wasn't ugly before he sure is now! “I'm here! I'm queer! Give me a light beer! I'm here! I'm queer! Give me a light beer!”” She sings. Right on cue, one of the more attractive members of Fresno's GLAAD chapter tosses Krista a can of Bud Light. Once she hears the holy pop of the top being opened, she's guided to the highest peak of the heavens, and forgets all about Lucius Soul. Even when the former HI-YAH tag team champion attempts to tighten her into a back suplex setup, she's realitivly unmoved, “Honey, could you give me a minute or two, I'm kinda in the middle of an important project for work.” Paying no attention to Soul's protest, Krista downs the beer in one massive chug. “Ah, cross that off the to do list! I don't like to take my work home with me! Although knowing me I will. You know I'm a workaholic! Hehehehe! Okay, honey, where were we? You were doing a back suplex? Okay I put my arm like this, then you slide your head through it. Got it? Now, grab on my skirt like this. Don't be shy, I'll just pretend your Lauryn Hill after a meth binge or something. Put your right hand in,your right hand out, your right hand in, And shake it all about. You do the Hokey Pokey, And you turn yourself around, that's what its all about! Joking of course. Now, go ahead and lift me!” Beyond annoyed with Krista's condescendingly helpful directions, Lucius raises her into the sky, with the intent on using the powerful hold to drive her into the depths of hell. Sadly for him, his grip on the Hollywood hottie is much to weak, and she manages to flip out of his hold with effortless ease. Before he can properly realize she's not even in his grasp, she's mangling his facial features with a one handed face crusher! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Well aware of the fact that his associate is heading down an irreversible path of defeat, Rico raises himself onto the apron to strike down the bothersome lass. Though the fans ready themselves for a brutal conflict between the two hot-heads, Krista realizes she hasn't a chance in a fist fight with Rico, and instead appeals to his love for a good 80's disco tune. Dropping to her knees and channellings the spirit of Laura Brannigan, Krista sings with the fiery passion that only consuming sixteen beers prior to the match can bring, “Gloria, you're always on the run now. Running after somebody, you gotta get him somehow. I think you've got to slow down, before you start to blow it. I think you're headed for a breakdown, so be careful not to show it As the power in her voice expands with each lyric, Krista extends a trembling hand towards Rico, who only looks on with frigid anger. “No! Rico ain't getting fooled this time, woman! You fool Rico once shame on you, you fool Rico twice, you fuckin' dead. You hear me, you fuckin' dead! Its curtains for you! You better stop!” “Rico, this isn't about me, or you, or any of us. This about giving the OAOAST, what it wants, what it needs, what it's been dying for. Gloria. ” “No!” “A-ha-ha, a-ha-ha, Gloria, how's it gonna go down? Will you meet him on the main line, or will you catch him on the rebound?” “I won't!” Rico turns away from Krista, the inner battle between his duty to the Wrecking Crew and his long hidden love of Gloria scarring his tortured face with an infinite sadness. “Will you marry for the money, take a lover in the afternoon? Feel your innocence slipping away, don't believe it's comin' back soon!” Krista continues to sing Rico lowers his head engulfed by bleak cloud misery that constrains him like a coffin. He knows only one piercing beam of light that can obliterate the darkness hanging upon his world, RICO You really don't remember, was it something that he said? Are the voices in your head calling, Gloooooooria? Gloria, don't you think you're fallin'? If everybody wants you, why isn't anybody caaaaaalllllllin'? You don't have to answer! Leave them hangin' on the l-i-i-iiiiine, ohhhh-oh-ohhhhh, calling Glor-iaaaaaaa! Gloria! Krista and Rico begin snapping their fingers, and rhythmically gliding along the ring and ring apron in unison. KRISTA Gloria! RICO I think they got your number! KRISTA Gloria! RICO I think they got the alias.... KRISTA Gloria! RICO That you've been living under! KRISTA Gloria! RICO But you really don't remember, was it something that they said? Are the voices in your head calling, KRISTA Gloriaaaaaaaa? RICO A-ha-ha, a-ha-ha, Gloria, how's it gonna....wait a minute...what the shit, mang? You did it again! Rico hates Gloria! Before Krista can calm him with some Papa, Can you hear me from Yentl, Rico, enraged over her latest batch of treachery, reaches over the ropes and tightens her into a front facelock. Teeth snarling bloody venom, he prepares to cripple her with a brainbuster to the outside mats, heedless to threats of a disqualification Buzzlefoxer hangs above his comrade! COLE Come on Rico, Gloria is a damn good song! While Buzzlefoxer's threats may do nothing to separate Rico from Krista, perhaps the charging boys from D*LUX will! As cheers erupt from the throats of teenage girls across the arena, Shayne and Tyler zip down the ramp at light speed. Once they reach Rico, its takes nothing more then a mighty heave to yank him away from their celeb crush. COACH The hell is these peckerwoods doing round here?! Though Rico lands on his feet, he isn't able to stay there for long, as the duo from Detroit blast him into next week with a powerful double spinning wheel kick! “YEAAAAAA!” Paying no mind to the wealth of cheers that surround them, the boys immediately attend to task of checking on Krista's health. As most of their medical practicing seems to involve debating over who will give her mouth to mouth, Krista thanks the kids for their help, and assures them that she's okay. She returns her focus to the long forgotten Lucius Soul and begins hammering him with knife edge chops that rip through his dark chocolate flesh. After the sixth searing blow lands, Krista grabs onto his wrist and flings him into the ropes. He returns with a lariat as his weapon of choice, but telegraphs the strike so poorly, that our buxom heroine meets with little trouble in mowing him down with a crowd popping spear! Krista follows with a pinfall... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! Soul pops out of the pin, causing distressed groans to seep from every corner of the arena. Less of a defeatist then the audience, Krista peels Soul off the canvas, and attempts to throw him into the corner. But the Louisianan reverses the hold and its Krissy's who's forced to endure the terrible collision with the ringposts. Watching her heave for breath and moan in anguish, stokes Soul's desires to inflict scorching pain upon her, and he zeros in on her with a corner yakuza kick! Unfortunately, his inability to not telegraphs his every move, once again becomes the maker of his downfall, as Krista simply glides out the way, and lets the poor soul (pun!), crotch himself atop the ringposts! “LUCIUS SUCKS! LUCIUS SUCKS!” Singing a tune of most miserable agony, Soul pull his wounded leg and groin away from the accident scene, and simply seeks a place to lie down and rest. There will be no rest for his weary bones, however, as Miss California scurries atop the turnbuckles. Her blue eyes become distracted by the Fresno society of Jewish lesbian veterinarian assistants in the front row, trying to get a peak up her skirt. Never needing an excuse to show off, Krista happily lifts up the already tiny piece of fabric to let them feast on the view of her cute wiggling BUTT. After sending her fans (and D*LUX) to seventh heaven, Krissy sends Lucius Soul toppling to the mat with a picture perfect shooting star press! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!”the fans and D*LUX chant, while Buzzlefoxer counts the resulting pin.. CROWD and D*LUX ONE! CROWD and D*LUX TWO! CROWD and D*LUX THREE! The crowd spoke too soon, as Lucius Soul pulls his shoulder off the canvas. COLE Soul barely avoiding defeat! And Mackenzie probably had a heart attack back stage! Quick to try and put himself on the attack, Lucius soon scrambles to his feet. But the moment he rises he's caught within an inverted facelock. Krista hasn't a chance to execute her intended inverted DDT, though, as her adversary powers his way out of the hold by rifling knees into her face. Putting his new freedom to good use, Soul shoots Krista into the ropes. Once Miss California makes her return, his boot plants itself into her ripped midsection. The affects of the attack are crippling, doubling Krista over and leaving her paralyzed. The pimp takes quick advantage of his weakened state, grabbing onto wonderful hair and simply slamming her backwards to the canvas! COLE That's just pure smash mouth, rough neck, brutal wrestling by Soul. He wants this win under any circumstances. Leaving Krista to bemoan the possibility that he may have pulled out one of ten thousand strands of her hair, Soul quickly scampers to the top rope, bringing froth a river of jeers from the audience. “Yo, we frying this ho in a mac daddy skillet!” Soul informs them, pointing an angry finger at his fallen foe. Lucius' plan to fry Krista is thrown wholly astray due to the meddling of her ever present stalkers, D*LUX! The bothersome pair latch onto Soul's gaudy footwear, trapping him into place, and forcing a plethora of vulgarities from his foul mouth. “Ya'll drunk like a nine to five nigga! You bugga bitches best to be up off da kid!” “No way! We won't let you hurt Miss Krista!” they shout in concert. “These skeezers is off the meat rack, Chauncey! Get 'em off me!” Soul pleads, now fearful they're of the mind to send him plummeting to the thin mats bellow. Only when Buzzlefoxer hangs the consequence of a DQ above their precious Krista, do D*LUX finally release their vice hold on Soul. Free of the former American Idol contestants, the agile superpimp wastes no time in dismounting his nest with an amazing 450 splash! Unfortunately, midway through his descent, Soul's onyx eyes bear witness to the troubling sight of his foe sliding out of the way! Gripped by panic, the smooth soul bro adjusts course and barely succeeds in landing on his snake skin boots. The unexpected landing throws him absolutely off balance, and the only reason he's able to stay upright is because of Krista's hands coming together beneath his chin. The fans rise to their feet and let loose with monstrous cheers, knowing full will a Krista Isaodra Duncan victory is at hand. COLE Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one!! Lucius Soul may not be dead, but it certainly looks as though he's about to join Red Foxx in the after life as he hits the canvas with thundering impact from the reverse X-factor. Smiling broadly, Krista reaches forward and hooks his leg... CROWD and D*LUX ONE! CROWD and D*LUX TWO!!! CROWD and D*LUX THREE!! The still standing crowd explodes with cheers and exchanges high fives for their fellow Californian's impressive victory over one half of the Wrecking Crew. On the outside D*LUX embrace each other as if they've just won the OAOAST tag team championships. Once they realize they could be performing the more pleasurable task of hugging Krista, they dive into the ring. BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall....Miss California, KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN! COLE That's not music to Mackenzie's ears, I know that! But, regardless Krista picks up a solid win over The Wrecking Crew, but will she pick up a new lady love on The Look Of Love, debuting next week. Giggling with delight D*LUX lift a somewhat stunned Krista onto their shoulders. Though she assures them that isn't really necessary, its hard to convince them to listen to reason when her bare legs are caressing their faces. COACH Idiots! Idiots! SHE'S A LESBIAN! SHE'S A LESBIAN! SHE'S A LESBIAN! YOU'RE CRUSHING ON A LESBIAN! COLE Well, the Mardi Gras Homewrecking promised us there would begin a new chapter in the tag division with Chicks Over Dicks gone. But the playground bully showed she can still stop by and torment the A/V club every once in a while. You have to wonder how this loss will effect The Wrecking Crew heading into The Anderson Cup? They were so excited to participate, claimed it would be where they turned things around, but will they even have the momentum needed to advance out the first round? Will their tag team matches see them fare better then their singles matches? We'll see! Coach? COACH (singing) Gloria, you're always on the run now.R unning after somebody, you gotta get him somehow. I think you've got to slow down, before you start to blow it. I think you're headed for a breakdown, so be careful not to show it!

As we return to HeldDOWN~!, we immediately greeted by Cold War Kids' fitting song, "Hospital Beds", fitting because they have during the break played out a man used to hospital beds (for all the right reasons), EMT Tim. He stands in the ring going through his paces, while Officer Bosley stands on the apron running him the drill. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. In the ring, accompanied by Officer Bosley of Rescue 911. From The OAOAST First Responders Unit... weighing two hundred, twenty pounds... EMT TIIIIIIIMMMMMM CCAAAAAASSSSHHHHHH!! The happy go lucky emergency medical technician salutes the crowd. COLE EMT Tim and his colleague Officer Bosley I'm sure looking forward to the Anderson Cup which is set to kick off in a couple of weeks time. But, he's not the only one... The mood suddenly darkens as "King Kong" by LA Symphony hits. Through the entrance first struts James Blonde in his obscenely expensive, extremely unneccessary faux fur coat, paving the way for his very own Samoan Wrecking Ball, Faqu! The big Samoan pounds his chest and lets out a primal roar before he marches to the ring, applauding by his long time partner. BUFFER And, being led to the ring by James Blonde... from the Isle of Samoa! He weighs in at three hundred and one pounds... representing Internationally Known... "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL"... FFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - QQUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" In slides the big Samoan and already he's panting like a madman, chomping at the bit to get the match started. Bosley pats his partner on the back and drops to the floor, at which point Tim realises the predicament he's in. COACH Nevermind the Anderson Cup, EMT Tim might wanna look forward to seeing some more of his colleagues down at Fresno General. COLE Let's not get ahead of ourselves. EMT Tim is a competitor. COACH No hating, Rescue 911 are goofy as hell but they've strung some wins together in tag matches recently. But, this isn't a tag match. It's one on one against Faqu. This guy has won singles titles, he's not a tag wrestler in an unfamiliar environment, like EMT Tim. *DINGDINGDING!* As soon as the bell sounds, it's feeding time at the zoo as Faqu suddenly charges headlong at EMT Tim. The quick thinking EMT manages to duck out of the corner just in time though and Faqu runs right into the turnbuckles sternum first! Tim quickly takes him down with a schoolboy too, for a quick pin... 1... ...NO. Faqu powers out. As Faqu scrambles back up, Tim quickly grabs a headlock to try and tame the Samoan beast. That works for precisely a second before Faqu pushes him off into the ropes. EMT Tim shoots back, but stupidly tries to hit a shoulder tackle and gets knocked to the ground by the shoulder of Faqu. "OOOOHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Like running into a brick wall. COACH Except the brick wall isn't going to start running after you again before you know what hit you. Dropping down, Faqu wraps his hands around Cash's throat and chokes away! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOU..." Knowing enough to break the choke on five, Faqu stands back up and stomps Tim in the chest. And again, the lack of footwear no relief for the EMT. Backing off the ropes, Faqu then takes off into the air, coming down with everything behind a headbutt that connects to the shoulder! Blonde applauds smugly from the outside, before noticing that Faqu is looking at him and telling him to "do it again". Nodding his head, Faqu hits the ropes again and drops a second headbutt on the prone EMT. Cover... 1... 2... No! Scoop and a slam puts EMT Tim where Faqu wants him, figuring that he must need a little more behind his headbutt and climbing to the middle rope. Again the braying Blonde applauds away as Faqu stands on the middle rope and lets out another loud yell. COACH Bombs away! Up he goes and down he comes... ...this time headbutting nothing but cold, hard canvas! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COLE Nobody home! Not the smartest of moves for Faqu to go to the middle rope perhaps. COACH You wouldn't be saying that if he connected. COLE ...yeah, but... he didn't. Faqu climbs back up and looks a little dazed as EMT Tim takes the fight to him. A series of right hands rock the Samoan back into the ropes, Tim setting him up with an irish whip and managing to get him on the run, surprisingly. Just as surprisingly, he then hits a standing dropkick and knocks Faqu down on the rebound! That's enough to get the crowd going, Bosley whipping them up from the floor as EMT Tim heads up to the top. "9 - 1 - 1!" "9 - 1 - 1!" "9 - 1 - 1!" "9 - 1 - 1!" Reaching the top, Cash waits for Faqu to come a little closer and soars... ...CAUGHT! Faqu blocks the crossbody attempt by simply catching the EMT in his arms. Faqu then throws EMT Tim up onto his shoulders with similar ease, crushing him with a Samoan Drop!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH These people better start that 911 chant up again, hope the local hospital have good hearing. 1... 2... NO! Tim kicks out, albeit with little convinction. COACH What EMT Tim would give to tag out right about now, huh? COLE Unfortunately for him though, this is not a tag team match. Which also means Faqu isn't going anywhere anytime soon. Dragging the lifeless EMT by the arm, Faqu deposits him in the corner leaving Tim's head resting up against the bottom turnbuckle. Sneakily, James Blonde walks over out of the referee's eyeline to prop him up a little better, while the ref is trying to reason with Faqu to keep the match in the middle of the ring. A glare from Faqu sends him scattering though, the bigman backing up into the opposite corner... FAQU SAMOAAAA!! *WHAM!* "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...AND DRIVING HIS POSTERIOR INTO THE HEAD OF EMT TIM AT FULL SPEED!!! COLE Oh man! Did you see Tim's head snap back there? That is whiplash city right there! Some uneasy booing starts up as Faqu again drags EMT Tim around by the wrist. This time though he drags him to his feet, before knocking him right back down with another headbutt! It's at this point that, for some reason, Blonde jumps to the ring apron to try and give Faqu some more 'advise'. Realising that's against the rules of the match, Officer Bosley springs into action, running around ringside and dragging Blonde to the floor by the tail of his (faux) fur coat! Blonde is obviously annoyed at that and turn around to reminstrate... leaving him open for a Roundhouse Kick to the back of the head! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" COACH Hey! COLE James Blonde getting involved where he shouldn't have and he just paid the price! As Blonde crawls for safety, Faqu sees his partner going down and reaches out of the ring to pull Bosley up onto the apron. Bosley manages to break free of Faqu and shove him away, but gets distracted as he tries to tell the referee he's trying to keep the peace... ...and gets knocked off the apron with a thrust to the throat! COLE Well, this WAS supposed to be one on one. COACH It is now. With Bosley down, Faqu turns back to EMT Tim, just in time as he's gotten back to his feet. That's about all Cash is physically able to do though and he walks right into a thrust to the throat as well. Unfortunately, he doesn't go down, allowing Faqu to do more damage. Underhooking the arms, Faqu lifts EMT Tim off his feet and leaves him hanging upside down for a couple of seconds, letting the blood rush to the head... before sitting out and SPIKING EMT Tim with the DEATH BY SAMOAN!! "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Time of death... crap, where's my watch gone!? Faqu presses his hands across Tim's chest... 1... 2... 3!! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Your winner of the match... FFFAAAAAAAQQUUUUUUUUUUU!! Keeping the hands on the chest, Faqu looks down the barrel of the camera, shouting something in Samoan which obviously I can't translate because I don't speak Samoan. But he does. Rolling back into the ring, James Blonde kneels next to Faqu and pats him on the back, with the hand he's not nursing his head with. COACH Hey, remember when Faqu was just a normal guy? That was cool. COLE A dominating victory for Faqu tonight. Will he and James Blonde be able to dominate the field in the 2008 Anderson Cup? We'll find out in the New Year! As Faqu and Blonde continue to gloat over their win, we cut away into the office of AngleSault, who has been joined in watching this match by a certain Nathaniel Black. BLACK See that? Do ya? That's what we can do, when we get the opportunity. That's a former HI-YAH Champ in action. (turns to AS) Don't get any more dominatin' than that now, does it? ANGLESAULT What did you want, Nathaniel? BLACK You know darn well wot I want. I wanna get in the ring and kick somebody's arse. I wanna go out there an' take somebody's title. I wanna go out and show all of those Yanks a little bit of real wresslin, like only the English can do. I want opportunity 'round here. ANGLESAULT Opportunity you say? BLACK Me, Blonde an' Faqu, we're Internationally Known. We've won titles world 'round. An' yet, when the big opportunities come callin', we keep gettin' overlooked. We're just another couple'a blokes takin' up roster space. We want opportunity, on the big stages. ANGLESAULT Well, that can be arranged. We've got a little thing called the Anderson Cup coming back and it's obvious your buddies are going to be involved. Black sighs under his breath and leans on AS's desk, looking him dead in the eyes. BLACK Listen... when I say 'we', I mean me an' all. I'm chuffed for 'em, I really am. But where does that leave me? ANGLESAULT So, you don't want to be left out? BLACK Yeh. ANGLESAULT Right. Well, in that case, you're in the Anderson Cup as well. You used to be in a tag team around here, right? Again Black sighs under his breath. BLACK Yeh an' you bloody well know it an' all! ANGLESAULT In that case, you need a partner. And what you also need is a lesson. A lesson in 'international relations', shall we say. See, this issue with Jamie O'Hara, it's all about differences. He talks different to you, acts differently, dresses differently... wrestles differently. You saw Faqu and Blonde out there. Opposites attract sometimes. You need to learn to realise that you can't just attack people because they don't wrestle how you like to wrestle, or act how you want them to act. So, what better way to get this issue done and dusted than to team... oh, yes, the doctors are happy to clear him for competition as soon as the New Year is rung in... so, you'll be teaming in the Anderson Cup, with Jamie O'Hara! BLACK WOT!? YOU'VE LOST YOUR BLOODY MIND, MATE! I AIN'T TEAMIN' WITH 'IM, NO WAY... ANGLESAULT Oh, and while you're still ironing out your differences, you might need some 'encouragement'. So, if you don't get along in the Anderson Cup, you'll be suspended. Again! BLACK This is... this is bollocks, this is! ANGLESAULT And it's final. Still fuming, Black turns around and storms out of the office as we fade away. COMMERCIAL

We're transported to the backstage interview area, where Terry Taylor clad in a Santa hat, leather bomber jacket, and tight blue jeans stands with Krista Isadora Duncan. Miss California, has outfitted herself in heavily flared jeans, and a blue and white stripped dress shirt with the top five buttons left undone. TERRY TAYLOR Terry Taylor, backstage with Krista Isadora Duncan! KRISTA Terry Taylor, blessed with the golden opportunity to stand beside a goodness who radiates the unmatched qualities of kindness, beauty, love, benevolence, and most of all virtuous Christian sobriety. TAYLOR Its going to be a long night. Well, Krista, my old friend, you've got a singles match coming up against Lucius Soul of The Mardi Gras Home Wrecking Crew. Now just to inform you because I know you try your hardest to watch as little OAOAST television as possible, The Wrecking Crew have found themselves in the middle of a dry spell lately, piling up loss after loss. And, they blame it on you! What do you think about that? KRISTA Hey,take a ride on the fantastic voyage Sodom and Gonorrhea, who the hell cares about The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew, I've got bigger things to do, hopefully one of which is Ashley Tisdale of High School Musical fame. She is over eighteen, right? TAYLOR Lord I hope so! KRISTA Lord, I'm gonna pretend he said yes! Look, Terry, screw the Mardi Gras Homewrecking with the 1985 LA Kings. Cameras don't lie, unless these cameras show me digging up my dead grandmother's corpse, to get that pink sapphire necklace she should've left me in the will in the first place. I don't know why the old sea hag had to be buried with it, Satan's just gonna make her take off to mass produce Toby Keith albums anyway. Point is, cameras and stats don't lie. And the cameras tell us The Wrecking Crew haven't been seen on HeldDOWN but once in the past two months, and the stats tell us they haven't won a match since looooong before Jamie Lynn Spears became a dirty, dirty, whore. Care to drop the knowledge as to why that is, special edition of Outside The Lines? TAYLOR My guess is it has something do with her sister's struggles to maintain a sane and respectable lifestyle. I mean, it can be so hard as an impressionable youth... KRISTA Keep your wignorance, to a minimum, wignoramus, I'm not talking about Jamie Lynn, I'm talking about why The Wrecking Crew have been getting treated like life treats you, horribly. The A to that Q is that the Mardi Gras Homewrecking are the very definition of garbage, translate esponal, basura. They could snort lines with their dick, and they still couldn't come dope. I swear, they got down syndrome so bad, they probably got up, left, and right syndrome to. Worse yet, those dudes are so ugly the zoo put a picture of them in the monkey cage to keep the monkeys, aka the Moneymaker family, from jerking off. The Mardi Gras Homewrecking crew are full on flaming bags of dog crap left on the old man's porch from Billy Madison. I oughta make you take off that bug trap you call a jacket, put on an apron, shake hands with Mister Clean, head over to that locker room and mop up that filth for me, because unlike my ex-girlfriend I don't deal with gutter trash. TAYLOR A shot at Mackenzie no doubt! Speaking of Alix, The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew said they were quite delighted to see you two breakup. They see it at as a big plus for the entire tag division. What do you think about this perception? KRISTA If I thought about that, Terry I'd be the craziest gal in Los Angeles! No my mother lives there, she's yet to return to her original post which is guarding the gates of hell. What about the craziest person in the cult of Scientology? No there's Katie Holmes, who's married to our fearless leader, a 3'11 yeast infection. How about the craziest woman on my neighborhood? No, Denise Richards lives on my street. Which is cool on topless sunbathing Tuesday, less cool on let's show up at Krista's house and rant for three hours about stealing Charlie Sheen's sperm Saturday. But you get my point, now prepare to get a new one. Perception is from somebody else’s eyes. I can’t get in your head and see what you see, but I wish I could, because, god damn, I bet my breasts look like twin mounds of naturally tanned heaven! So other then then my fabulous boobs why would I even care about what The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew see? Fuck what they see. They only reason I'd ever want to see out their eyes, is to get a first hand view of what it's like to have Krista Isadora Duncan stick Theodore Moneymaker's used tampon up their ass and kick them so hard it comes out their nostrils. TAYLOR Having experienced such treatment from you, I can say its no fun! None at all! KRISTA But you know what, Terry? Its the holiday season, I shouldn't speak so ill of those less fortunate then I. You know what the holiday season is for? Its for your mother reminding you of how your coming out of the closet ruined your father's aspirations for presidency, and forced her to spend the better part of the last decade kissing the ass of that butter faced whore Maria Shriver. But the holidays are also for fond remembrance, like the time you bought home that black girl and your mother realized that not only are you gay, but you're not gonna marry Jewish either. So in that spirit, Dear Terry I have a little tale for you. I'd invite kiddies to gather around, but I know you aren't allowed within thirty feet of children. So, Terry, just for you, I'm gonna lay down the low on the quickness, and offer you a tale of a battle that took place five centuries ago on this very day. This epic story is about three ancient royal figures. Because I haven't ingested enough Tequila and prescription cough syrup to think up clever names, we'll call these ancient royal figures, Queen Krystyna Isolde Duncan, fairest of all queens, without who's ceaseless beauty the sun would never dare shine on an otherwise undeserving earth, and uh.. King Rico De Janiero, and uh...what's the Arab's guys name... TAYLOR He's black! Lucius Soul is black. KRISTA Bad mother shut yo mouth! Are you sure? Stereotypically black people are supposed to be somewhat athletic, and when Soul throws a kick it has all the extension of Rush Limbaugh lifting his leg to rip a fart. But I digress. Queen Krystyna was beautiful lesbian goddess, who's existence was like a golden tapestry strewn about the universe's once dull canvas. She preached equality, and fought tirelessly to preserve peace, unity and to keep reruns of Step by Step on the air, because oh wow, Suzzane Summers is hot! King Lucius Soul was a glorified deboo who sprung on the wrong cat and got shingles from a rancid poon on one hundered twenty fifth street. He was a buster who turned a trick on a skeezer named Geroniho, who blasted diarrhea all over his throne room. King Rico De Janeiro was a bad cat, who used his subjects tax payments to trip on Crisco, while hitting up a bad bitch in the back of a Chevy Caviler, do you know what that means? TAYLOR No I don't. KRISTA That's kind of unfortunate, because to be honest, neither do I, I stole that line from Dolemite teaches phonics! Shhhh. Anyway, the three royal figures lived in harmonious peace for years, until one fateful day when Krystyna Isolde Duncan, reformed Muslim princess, praise be to Colonel Abdullah, asalaam alaykum aslama-Lucius soul's asalaama is even smaller then terry taylor's asalaama , had to step off her throne, partially because there was a sale on Kate Spade sandals at Nordstrom! See? Pretty! But mostly because, Queen Krystyna needed to raise up against the other two, who dared to draw weapons against her rule as empress of the land! The two vile kings wished to protest Krista's complete decimation of whatever ounce of self respect being best known for having the OAOAST's first two cases of pubic lice, had left them. But Queen Krista, was as defiant as she was drop dead beautiful! Though she knew violence wasn't the answer, unless of course was against Republicans, the lead singer from Coldplay, the Christians, or Linus from the Peanuts, get rid of that stupid blue blanket you Himalayan ho monkey, you're almost fifty years old, she had choice. So when ye old Rico and Lucius wanted to protest, Queen Krista, broke away from her harem of ye old Victorian Secret's supermodels, and was right there to protest their ass with thyne flask of King cobra and a fifth of Jack. Now, flash forward through the annals, I said annals, not anals, calm yourself los diablos, of time, five centuries to this very day, March 16th 1996... TAYLOR Its December 20th, 2007 Krista, don't you have a calendar? KRISTA Oh, honey, why? Whenever I run out of pills I just go see one of the little Mexican boys. Back to the story! December 20th, what you the good people of the OAOAST kingdom will see before you are the descendants of Queen Krystyna, and the other two dudes, I forgot their names already, so we'll just call them exactly what they are, little bitch and dirty ho, come together to resume the battle their royal ancestors began! And although only one can be called royalty today, with her fitness empire, four tag team championships, People magazine's sexiest woman of the year award, and the other two are only known for being on the wrong end of the infamous Florabama gangbang in the locker room last week, the war rages on! And once again its the little bitch and the dirty ho who are gonna look like they got victimized by the LAPD. For the descendants of Queen Krystyna will stick her foot so far up their Jennifer Lopez, that thunder and lighting are gonna rain down and conflagarate them three shades darker and fifty degrees stupider. TAYLOR Wow! Well, Wrecking Crew you have your work cut out for you tonight! Krista, thanks as always! Fans, for the OAOAST, this is Terry Taylor wishing you a happy holidays. We'll be back. OAOAST QuizDOWN is brought to you by...Blade Runner: 5 Disc Ultimate Edition now available on DVD Who was the third general manager in HeldDOWN history? A.Northstar B.Abe Vigoda C.Josie Baker D.Calvin Szechstein The answer coming up later in the show! COMING UP NEXT COME ON BABY AND RESCUE ME EMT Tim Cash Vs FAQU NEXT

The camera cuts to The Lightning Crew dressing room where the members of The Lightning Crew are all sitting around. Stephen Joseph Popick goes to pour himself a drink, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt lying on the big leather sofa in the room. VITAMIN X Boss, far be it from me to question your wisdom but...are you CRAZY!? Taking on Tha Puerto Rican AND The Mad Cappa at the same time in the same match!? Surely, you must be joking! STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Oh, X, so smart, and yet so naive. Clearly, you haven't clue in yet to the reason I have decided to defend my Title against Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa in the same match. VITAMIN X ...Which is? Popick pours vodka into a glass. POPICK It is called 'Divide and Conquer'. A well known military stragety, I have taken to using this stragety in the battleground that is the professional wrestling ring. You see, it is a well known fact that PR and The Mad Cappa absolutely DESPISE each other. Their hatred knows no bounds, and has led to many a memorable encounter, like last week for example. You see, I figure that their hatred for each other is even more passionate, more intense, then their hunger for the World Heavyweight Title. The way I see it, I am killing two birds with one stone by pitting them in a match with me at the same time. Their anger, their rage, their HATRED for each other will cause them to beat on each other, allowing me to swoop in for the kill and pin one of them 1-2-3 to successfully retain MY Title! That, Lightning Crew, is why it is called 'Divide and Conquer'. CUBAN WALL So by pitting them together, you can do only half the work. They'll destroy each other and you'll take advantage of it! POPICK Correctamundo, Wall! You catch on pretty quick! VITAMIN X Boss...that is GENIUS! That is absolutely BRILLIANT! Only you could have come up with it! Killing two birds with one stone. Get them fighting so that you can walk away unharmed! That is great! You are going to retain your belt on the New Year's Spectacular! I just know it! BOO-YAH~! Popick takes a sip of the vodka. POPICK Yes. That is of course the plan. The 'Master Plan' if you will. To retain the Title and move on to more DESERVING challengers to my belt. But before we get to that show, we have the main event of TONIGHT to look forward to. PRL and The Mad Cappa have to team up. Can they even team up? CUBAN WALL No. VITAMIN X No sir! SPANISH FLY Nope. THOMAS RODRIGUEZ Uh-uh. MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ-POPICK No. PRINCESS STACEY No. THE BONE THUG ... MR. BORICUA GRRRRRRRRRRR. POPICK Yeah, I don't think so either. Which is why I am going to enjoy watching Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua DESTROY those two jabronies later on tonight. CUBAN WALL Boss, don't worry. Boricua and I have got everything under control. Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa will be mince meat by the time the night is through. MR. BORICUA YEAAHHHHHHHHHH! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! POPICK Excellent. That is what I like to hear. But hey, save some for me! I don't want my match on the New Year's Spectacular to be TOO easy! I'd like a little bit of a challenge! Not too much, but a little! WALL Don't worry, boss. I'll make sure we save some of PRL and Cappa just for you. Consider tonight's match an early Christmas present to you from us here in The Lightning Crew! POPICK I'll drink to that! Popick takes another swig of his vodka. He smiles evilly, as does the rest of The Lightning Crew. The crowd boos loudly. COLE Wow that was a great segment/match/interview/commercial. Right now, let's turn things over to the cutest interviewer on television Maggie Nerdly! Margret? Maggie Nerdly is backstage with Felix Strutter. MAGGIE Thanks, Michael! I'm here with the International World champion, "After Hours" Felix Strutter! Felix, tonight, Denzel Spencer, the man you pinned two weeks ago, will get a shot right here tonight at your title. Your thoughts? STRUTTER Forget about that right now. Let me tell you what I want a shot at... Strutter whispers something in Maggie's ear, and Maggie responds with a gasp, then SLAPS Felix right across the face! Felix backs off holding the side of his face, then looks at his hand and walks away with a smile, as Maggie stares at him with a look of anger and disgust. COLE DAY-UM~! COACH Hey, that's my line! And what right does she have as a journalist to be putting her hands on the wrestlers? COLE Leon doesn't seem to have a problem with it. COACH You know what I meant. COLE But he may have a problem with whatever Felix said, and who knows what that could have been. Folks, we'll see Felix putting his belt on the line against Denzel Spencer later tonight, but for now its time for one of the hottest tag team acts in the OAOAST to face off against one of the meanest. Dark blue lights flash across the entry way, as the stage fills with smoke. Through the haze steps the SCM, Vincent letting out a primal roar, while One Eye flashes gang signs as Tupac's "Dopefiend's Diner" plays. They make their way to the ring, talking trash to the jeering crowd. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 460 pounds, from South Central Los Angeles and former tag team champions of the world... THE SOUTH. CENTRAL. MILLLIIITTIIIIIAAAAAA!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE The South Central Militia, one of sixteen teams participating in the 2008 Anderson Cup that will begin on January 3rd at the New Year's Spectacular. OAOAST officials currently finalizing the brackets, which will be released next week on HeldDOWN~! Before they can start thinking about the Anderson Cup, they'll first need to get by their opponents tonight, as we toss it back to Michael Buffer. "Thriller" by Fall Out Boy hits and the fans come out of their seats in excitement. BUFFER Their opponents, accompanied by everybody's favorite gal pal MELODY NERDLY...from San Antonio, Texas, total combine weight 497 pounds, Baron Windels and the "Texas Twister" Jock Mulligan... THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGEERRRRRSSSS!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Lots of hand slapping follows, as the Gunslingers play to the audience. COLE Melody Nerdly leading perhaps the next tag team champions to the ring, Coach. COACH Yeah, perhaps. But standing by right now, the One & Only World tag team champions, the Heavenly Rockers. * SWOOSH * Wide shot, small box at left hand corner. Heavenly Rockers in front of their CG backdrop with Holly and Colonel Abdullah. HOLLY As fall becomes winter, the greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all-time plan on turning up the heat. Ain't that right, baby? LOGAN Congratulations are in order sayeth Logan Usher Mann. At the New Year's Spectacular the Heavenly Rockers will defend their One & Only World tag team championship against Little Red Riding Hood's big, bad wolves, the Lone Star Gunslingers. But it'll be second verse, same as the first, Gunslingers. Victory will be ours! SYNTH Now put that in yo pipe and smoke it! The brief piece of video ends with Synth while the Colonel gives praise. * SWOOSH * COLE Very confident are the Heavenly Rockers. COACH As they should be. If they don't own, they're leasing the Lone Star Gunslingers. Referee Nick Patrick orders a member of each team on the apron, and those men are Moe and Jock. Whereas the SCM trade gang signs, the Gunslingers stick with the traditional double high-five. * DINGDINGDING * Backed against the ropes after placing Moe in a side headlock Baron is shot across the ring, but One-Eye makes the all too common heel mistake of setting too soon, enabling the Gunslinger to pop him straight up with a hard kick to the shoulder. Windels plants his feet and drills Wallace with a standing dropkick. Irish whip, and a big-time FLYING LARIAT to follow! ONE... TWO... Wallace kicks out and retreats to the safety of his corner, and makes the tag to Vincent Santana who calls out Jock Mulligan. COLE You know the Texas Twister won't back down from a challenge. The crowd pops as Jock accepts the tag. After circling the ring to measure their opponent up, the two lock horns and Jock comes out on top with an arm-wringer. Mulligan uses a series of closed fists and bonic elbows to punish the right arm of Santana. Vinnny maneuvers the second year man into the corner and stuns him with a back elbow to the side of the head. Santana sells the damage to the arm before working Jock over in the corner with a combination of jabs and uppercuts. Mulligan fires back with kicks to the midsection and bionic elbows, only to have Vinny RAKE THE EYES. Irish whip, but Jock ducks a clothesline and shoots back on the rebound with a CROSSBODY BLOCK...but Vincent crotches down as Jock soars through the air, causing the Texas Twister to feel like he's just been in one as he lands hard on the canvas and rolls out of the ring from the impact! COACH Jock's in a bad place, Cole. The SCM not afraid to bend the rules every so often. COLE More like any chance they get. Like right now. As the referee focusing his attention on keeping Vincent inside, outside Moe slams Jock on the arena floor. Baron rushes to his partner's aid, chasing Wallace away…but that grabs the eye of Nick Patrick and leaves the SCM with another opportunity to take advantage of the youngster, whipping him into the ring steps! COLE How many times do I need to say it? We need more than one referee for matches such as this! Before the SCM can inflict anymore damage, the referee turns around and orders Vinny inside. The SCM coolly toss Jock back into the ring, but not before sneaking in a pair of knees to the ribs! COACH Ha! Beautiful. Quick tag by the S-C-M. They're putting the 5-second rule to good use as they Irish whip Jock. Oh, baby! STEREO DIVING SHOULDERBLOCKS! COLE What force! ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Moe rams Jock face-first into the turnbuckle, then tags out. Vinny SLAPS Baron to sucker him inside, allowing him and Moe to pummel Jock in the corner. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Santana continues to antagonize Baron as One-Eye CHOKES Jock with the TAG ROPE! COLE Moe's strangling the life out of Jock Mulligan. Somebody needs to put a stop to this! Baron steps in and is confronted by Nick Patrick, who he desperately pleads to turn around. Going nowhere with his efforts Baron finally has enough and brushes the ref aside. The crowd roars as Windels beats the hell out of the SCM, then HIP TOSSES HIS PARTNER TOWARDS THEIR CORNER FOR THE TAG! "YEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!" MELODY (firing imaginary pistols) Hee-yaw! One can't deny the toughness of the SCM as they both charge Baron, who quickly shows them why he's called a Gunslinger, coming strong at Moe and Vinny with Texas size right hands and scoop slams. Moe rolls out to the arena floor while Vinny takes a seat on Baron's knee from an inverted atomic drop. Windels whips Santana, the legal man, to the ropes for a BAAAAAACK bodydrop. Now up top Baron connects with a TOP ROPE LARIAT! ONE... TWO... THR-- NO!! Moe pulls Baron halfway out of the ring before being spun around and decked by a Jock Mulligan DISCUS PUNCH! Meanwhile, inside, Baron sits Vinny on the top turnbuckle and delivers his patent SUPERPLEX!!! ONE... TWO... THREE! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners... THE LONE GUNSLINGEERRRRRSSSS!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The guys celebrate with Melody as Coach narrates the replay. COACH ...for the 1-2-3. Now let's go to Michael Cole ringside with Melody Nerdly and the Lone Star Gunslingers. Melody wipes the sweat off Jock and Baron's bodies and flicks it at Michael Cole just for the fun of it. Obviously thrilled with the W is she. COLE Thanks very much, Coach. And gentlemen, mighty impressive win just now. I'd say a good test heading into your big title match with the Heavenly Rockers at the New Year's Spectacular. JOCK We're as battle tested as they come, Michael Cole. The Heavenly Rockers thought they could bully us around, but we showed them and everyone watching that when you knock the Lone Star Gunslingers off their saddles we dust ourselves and get back on. Tell 'em B. BARON 14 days, Heavenly Rockers. 14 days until the Lone Star Gunslingers achieve their goal of becoming World tag team champions. We've waited months for this opportunity and for it to come against the Heavenly Rockers makes it all that much sweeter. Synth, Logan, you're in for one helluva an ass kickin' at the New Year's Spectacular. MELODY Yeah! With that, the Gunslingers and Melody exit. New Year's Spectacular ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH The Lone Star Gunslingers challenge the Heavenly Rockers THURSDAY NIGHT, JANUARY 3rd, LIVE ONLY ON TSM! COMMERCIAL

Fesno,CA fuck dat east coast bias shit. we run this bitch. Krista Vs Lucius Soul, prbly.

Reminder!!!!!! For those who haven't already, tomorrow afternoon is your last chance to vote!

i left like three blank posts, so for latecomers there's plenty of room for you to drop in your stuff.

THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD We open the show with Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa fighting in black and white. We then see Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa fighting again, only this time from a different match, but also in black and white. We see clips of Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa's matches over the past four years, all of them in black and white. We see their infamous WarZone segments from IntenseZone. The Lightning Crew's beatdown on The Mad Cappa from OAOAST Zero Hour: Night Of The X from February 29, 2004. The Mad Cappa surprising The Lightning Crew on the March 16, 2004 edition of OAOAST IntenseZone. The Mad Cappa beating Puerto Rican Lightning to win the OAOAST Puerto Rican Championship for the first time at OAOAST AngleMania III on March 28, 2004. The Mad Cappa beating Tha Puerto Rican again to retain the OAOAST Puerto Rican Championship at OAOAST The Year Of Living Anglelously on April 25, 2004. "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican beating The Mad Cappa on the September 8, 2005 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican beating The Mad Cappa again on the September 7, 2006 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. The music becomes fast paced as we see The Mad Cappa make his shocking return to the OAOAST on the December 6, 2007 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~! in black and white. Cut to The Mad Cappa revealing himself to the crowd. Cut to Stephen Joseph Popick making the announcement that PRL and Cappa will fight this week. Cut to a close-up of The Mad Cappa with an evil smile on his face. Cut to Tha Puerto Rican lying on the mat with his head up following the BUST A CAP from The Mad Cappa last week, sneering at The Mad Cappa and Stephen Joseph Popick IN ANGER~! Cut to a black screen. The Mad Cappa's head appears on the screen in black and white. The Mad Cappa has a cocky smirk on his face. Under him appears the words THE MAD CAPPA in big red blocky letters. Tha Puerto Rican's head then appears on the screen in black and white. Tha Puerto Rican has The McMahon SNEER~! etched on his face. Under him appears the words THA PUERTO RICAN in big red blocky letters. Cut to another black screen. The following words appear on the screen in big red blocky letters: A RIVALRY RENEWED Cut to another black screen. The following word appears on the screen in big red blocky letters: TONIGHT Fade out. The music ends. Ultimate Victory along with the beautifully produced introductory video welcome us to another night of OAOAST programming. Various images of the OAOAST superstars in all their fantastic glory, joy, agony, and defeat rip across the video landscape, finally leading into the.... Our view is switched to the arena, where the orange polo clad announcers, Michael Cole and The Coach sit in the cushy confines of Sofa Central, waiting to break down the evenings festivities. COACH It's DA Coach, with big MC, coming into ya living room with HeldDOWN~! We're up in the Bay Area, and the Bay Area's been up in Cole, if you know what I mean. COLE Truth. Regardless of my exploits here in the great city of San Fransisco, we welcome you to the highest rated program on cable television, OAOAST HeldDOWN. Tonight's show promises to be has action packed as always, with promised appearances by Bohemoth, PRL, and his old rival The Mad Cappa. Stephen Joseph played a card that could have very dangerous and unfortunate results for his former client, and could most definitely lead to The Puerto Rican icon's downfall here in the OAOAST. But for now, let's kick things off with a tag title bout! BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! It's raining men - Hallelujah It’s raining men - Amen Pink and yellow lights flash across the arena as Los Diablos dance out with each other, bumping and grinding on the way down the ramp and getting a little nasty with some of the male fans in the front rows. One lucky dude receives Moracca’s sombrero and a kiss on the cheek from both Diablos. BUFFER Introducing first, the challengers…from beautiful, sunny Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, total combine weight 350 pounds… LOS DIABLOS DE FFFFFUUUUUEEEEEEEGGOOOOOOOOOO!! “YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Now in the ring, Mariachi stares seductively into the camera while sucking on the middle prong of his pitch fork. COLE Here with go with the continuation of a feud that started a couple months back when the Heavenly Rockers heinously attacked Los Diablos in order to send a message to those who seek their World tag team championship. After a couple of weeks away Los Diablos returned with vengeance on their minds, much like another team, the Lone Star Gunslingers who on Wednesday, January 3rd, 2008 will face the Heavenly Rockers no matter tonight’s outcome at the New Year’s Spectacular. COACH Ask and you shall receive. The Gunslingers wanted a shot at the Heavenly Rockers, and now they have it. It’s going to be second verse, same as the first. HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT! BUFFER Now playing, COLONEL ABULLAH NERDLY presents in association with HOLLY-WOOD the GREATEST rock 'n' wrestling band of AAAAALLLL-time, the reigning and defending tag team champions of the woooorld...THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Synth and Logan feed off the crowd’s hostility, agitating numerous spectators on their jog down the ramp. COLE What a year it’s been for these men. They started as one of the most popular tag teams in the OAOAST, and they’ll finish 2007 as the most hated. COACH Sure they lost a fan here and there, but look at what they got in return -- the One & Only World tag team championship. You can’t argue with results. * DINGDINGDING * Synth and Moracca start out with a collar-and-elbow tie-up, and the Synthmeister muscles him to the ground, but the flaming luchador is able to use his speed to escape and return to a vertical base. Synth nods in sign of respect, then kicks Moracca in the gut as they lean in to lockup. Big right hand staggers the masked man, who Synth introduces to the turnbuckle. Caught in the wrong side of town Moracca quickly fights out of the Heavenly Rockers corner, knocking the champions on their asses! Synth and Logan charge at Moracca, but Mariachi comes in to even the odds and a pier-six brawl breaks loose! “YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” On the receiving end of an ass-kicking the Heavenly Rockers bail to the floor. Holly lifts Logan’s spirit with a peck on the lips and a shoulder massage as Colonel Abdullah instructs his men on how to proceed. COLE The Colonel trying to calm Synth and Logan the best he can, as Los Diablos have come ready to fight. And it’s not hard to figure out why with the tag titles on the line. The action resumes with Logan Mann as the legal participant, and he sweeps Moracca off his feet with a leg trip. Logan tries grabbing the leg but Moracca shuns his attempts again and again. Logan continuing to go to the well despite the sign that reads out of water, figuratively speaking of course. Mann slows the pace at the order of Colonel Abdullah, locking up with Moracca only to be placed in a side headlock. A tag is made and Logan immediately backs away to avoid a double-team. *clap*clap*clap*clap* As Leon Rodez did last week, Mariachi rallies the crowd behind him, irking the greatest rock ’n’ wrestling band of all-time. Logan wins the lockup that ensues, trapping Mariachi in a headlock of his own, but he’s shot off into the ropes and floored by a dropkick! Logan shakes it off and hooks ‘em up again, this time going under to apply a hammerlock…which Mariachi counters with a drop toehold and a yell of “GIDDY UP” as he rides the Macho MACHO Mann, slapping that ass like only he can! “YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH The indignity of it all. Logan complains to the ref, who actually warns Mariachi about his actions, allowing Mann to blindside him! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Mariachi’s worked over in the corner and shot across to other, but he displays that flexible body of his and floats over the top as Logan charges in, nailing him with a dropkick flush to the jaw! Synth enters and meets the same result. Scoop and a slam x2 for the Heavenly Rockers, causing the champions to hightail it again! COLE Los Diablos have the champions flustered, Coach. They didn’t prepare for this line of attack. COACH Absolutely not. When you talk about Los Diablos you think high flying, but tonight it’s a whole other story. It’s no secret the Heavenly Rockers aren’t the most polished wrestlers in the world. They’re more of a brawling type with a few moves thrown in and Los Diablos know that and are exploiting it. Sound strategy from the flaming luchadors, if you can believe that. Single-leg trip enables Mariachi to drag Synth to the corner. Los Diablos tag in their special way (kiss on the cheek) and then use Synth to make a wish! The Synthmeister rolls out to the floor and lies on his back in pain, kicking his legs in a cartoonish matter until Moracca flattens him with a CANNONBALL SPLASH FROM THE APRON!! “YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Synth is tossed back in and covered. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Tag made, and Los Diablos whips Synth in for a DOUBLE TILT-A-WHIRL PANCAKE! ONE… TWO… SAVE BY LOGAN! Logan and Mariachi get into it, causing the referee to get in between as Moracca executes a beautiful flying head scissors takedown on Synth. Then a second one, but Logan breaks away from the ref/Mariachi and grabs the back of Moracca’s head as he leaps over the top and clotheslines the flaming luchador down on the rope! “OH!” Illegal switch by the champions and Logan puts the boots to Moracca, laying the badmouth to him in the process. Irish whip, but Moracca reverses and Logan counters with a spinning neck breaker on the rebound! ONE… TWO… THR-- KICKOUT! LOGAN :huh COL. ABDULLAH Logan rams Moracca into the knee of Synth and tags out. Synth throws Moracca outside and SPITS IN MARIACHI’S FACE, baiting him inside as Holly whips his partner towards Logan for a big clothesline! COACH There’s the key to a successful marriage, Cole -- communication. Another illegal switch by the Heavenly Rockers and Logan makes Moracca pay with a top rope axe handle smash. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Moracca’s sent for the ride and placed in a lost treasure of wrestling, the ABDOMINAL STRETCH (we can only go so far with backstage segments to kill 2 hours of TV). If the hold wasn’t painful enough, Synth gives Logan extra leverage by pulling on his hand. COLE Look behind you, ref. What are you, blind? From Cole’s lips to referee Earl Hebner’s ears, but the Heavenly Rockers improvise as they’re about to be caught in the act and tag. A scoop and a slam later, the Synthmeister heads to the middle rope and drops the elbow…ON NOTHING BUT CANVAS! “YYEEEAAAAHHHHH!” Synth’s gone as quick as he entered, tagging out in favor of Logan. The Macho MACHO Mann sprints across and decks Mariachi to prevent the tag. Rude Awakening-style neck breaker leaves Moracca prone in mid-ring as Logan ascends to the heavens for his patent double knee drop…BUT MORACCA GETS THE KNEES UP!! “YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Now Logan’s in the same position Synth was earlier, kicking his legs in agony. As Moracca nears his corner Synth enters and drops a big elbow across the shoulder blades, then drags him back towards the Heavenly Rockers corner. Synth rolls Logan onto the apron and assumes his role in the match despite no tag and in front of the referee no less! COLE You’ve got to be kidding me. COACH (laughs) I guess he really is blind. Moracca is scooped for another slam, but he rolls through for a SMALL PACKAGE! ONE… TWO… NO, Logan rolls Synth over on top. ONE… TWO… NO, Moracca regains the momentum. ONE… TWO… NO! Both men chalk up numerous near falls as they roll around jockeying for position, soon finding themselves in Los Diablos’ corner where Moracca is able to make the tag (the conventional way)! “YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Mariachi stuns the Synthmeister with a series of overhand chops. Irish whip, and Synth is leveled by a spinning wheel kick. Logan is caught entering with one as well. The flaming luchador follows a pair of body slams with a DOUBLE COCONUT! “HOMIES!” “HOMIES!” “HOMIES!” COLE The crowd solidly behind Los Diablos de Fuego. COACH Of course they are. We’re in San Francisco. Chaos ensues with all 4 men in the ring. The Heavenly Rockers collide after being whipped in towards each other, knocking Logan out to the floor. Not far behind is Moracca, who crashes down onto the Macho MACHO Mann with a SPRINGBOARD SEATED SENTON! COACH All hell’s breaking loose, Cole. I don’t even know who the legal men are anymore. Although I bet it makes Los Diablos feel right at home. Inside, Moracca lifts Synth up in a pump handle and slams him on the side. Unfortunately for the Synthmeister there was no sign that said SLIPPERY WHEN WET! ONE… TWO… THREE! NO!! Holly and the Colonel yank Moracca out to the floor. * BOOM * Big right hand for the Colonel sends the crowd into a frenzy. Holly’s spared Moracca’s wrath but not Synth, who stumbles into a SPRINGBOARD CROSS BODY! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Moracca locks his hands together and brings them up to his chest for an up and down motion, apparently signaling for the dreaded SODOMIZER. COLE Spike tombstone piledriver coming up. Moracca positions himself in the middle of the ring to keep Synth away from the ropes and everyone associated with the Heavenly Rockers at bay. Perched on top Mariachi becomes distracted as Holly climbs onto the apron demanding to speak with referee Earl Hebner. As the two chat off to the side, Colonel Abdullah grabs Mariachi’s foot, diverting his attention long enough for Logan Mann to… * THUNK * …drop down on Moracca with a TOP ROPE AXE HANDLE SMASH USING THE RING BELL!! The flaming luchador falls back with Synth on top as Logan knocks Mariachi to the floor with a WICKED LEFT HOOK~! COLE No, damnit! The Heavenly Rockers are going to steal this one. ONE… TWO… THREE! HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT! BUFFER The winners of the match… THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS! COLE There’s no bell to be rung. Los Diablos were on the verge of winning the tag titles, but the Heavenly Rockers managed to snatch victory out of the jaws of defeat. Unbelievable. COACH Never underestimate the heart of a champion, baby boy. COLE Give me a break. In fact, we gotta take one right now! Cut to a black screen. The Mad Cappa's head appears on the screen in black and white. The Mad Cappa has a cocky smirk on his face. Under him appears the words THE MAD CAPPA in big red blocky letters. Tha Puerto Rican's head then appears on the screen in black and white. Tha Puerto Rican has The McMahon SNEER~! etched on his face. Under him appears the words THA PUERTO RICAN in big red blocky letters. Cut to another black screen. The following words appear on the screen in big red blocky letters: A RIVALRY RENEWED OAOAST INTENSEZONE MARCH 10, 2003 A RIVALRY RENEWED Fade To Black COMMERCIAL

Cut to a black screen. The Mad Cappa's head appears on the screen in black and white. The Mad Cappa has a cocky smirk on his face. Under him appears the words THE MAD CAPPA in big red blocky letters. Tha Puerto Rican's head then appears on the screen in black and white. Tha Puerto Rican has The McMahon SNEER~! etched on his face. Under him appears the words THA PUERTO RICAN in big red blocky letters. Cut to another black screen. The following words appear on the screen in big red blocky letters: A RIVALRY RENEWED OAOAST HELDDOWN~! SEPTEMBER 7, 2006 A RIVALRY RENEWED The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. "Breathe" by Fabolous starts playing, causing the crowd to pop due to not hearing that music in quite some time. However, they soon remember what happened last week, and start booing. The entrance doors slide open, and The Mad Cappa comes out, with Stephen Joseph Popick right behind him. The boos get louder. Popick has the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt slung over his left shoulder. Cappa has a cocky smirk on his face, wearing a black skullcap on his head and brandishing a baseball bat. He looks over to Popick, who nods his head with a smirk on *his* face. Then, the two men begin their walk to the ring. COLE And that was the last time Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa fought...until tonight. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with TV time remaining. Introducing first. Coming to the ring at this time. Accompanied to the ring by the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion Stephen Joseph Popick. From Northern Virginia. Weighing in at 183 lbs. Representing The Lightning Crew. He is a former two-time One And Only AngleSault Thread Puerto Rican/Italian Champion. THE MADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD CAPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! COLE They've fought at AngleManias. They've fought on HeldDOWN~!'s. They've fought on IntenseZones. They've fought in bars, forests, rivers, and bus stops! They've fought all over the world twice over. And now tonight, they fight once again, and this might be the biggest fight of them all! Stephen Joseph Popick is backing The Mad Cappa tonight, in what he hopes will be the last match of Tha Puerto Rican's career! COACH And he might get his wish. You DO know how many times The Mad Cappa has had Tha Puerto Rican's number in the past, do you? COLE Yes. Which is exactly why Popick recruited him for tonight. He knows the history. He knows the past matches these two men have had. And he knows that no one has been able to keep up with PRL as much as Cappa has! COACH That's right. And now tonight, it all ends when The Mad Cappa destroys Tha Puerto Rican once and for all! Mad Cappa high fives Popick, and then climbs up the ring steps to enter the ring. Cappa heads to a second turnbuckle and raises the baseball bat over his head. The crowd boos loudly. Cappa responds by jaw jacking with the fans in attendance. Popick stands on the outside, applauding The Mad One. COLE This is an issue that has been brewing for FOUR years now! And even when they went months and in this case, over a year without facing each other, the hatred was always there. PRL and The Mad Cappa have never been the best of friends. They have made each other's lives a living hell time and time again! And all of that is running through the minds of Cappa, PRL, AND Stephen Joseph tonight on HeldDOWN~! COACH All those old wounds have been reopened for Cappa. He remembers every single rotten thing Tha Puerto Rican has ever done to him. And he's looking to take all that pain, all that rage, all that anger, and throw it back at Tha Puerto Rican tonight! COLE And I'm sure Stephen Joseph will have NO problem with Cappa doing that tonight! COACH Not at all! TMC gets off the second turnbuckle and heads to another second turnbuckle where he raises the baseball bat in the air again to loud boos as "Breathe" continues playing. Cappa taunts the crowd again. The Mad Cappa then gets off the turnbuckle and heads to another second turnbuckle where he raises the bat in the air again. Cappa flips the crowd off. The Mad Cappa then gets off the second turnbuckle and heads to the fourth second turnbuckle where he brandishes the baseball bat again and laughs manically. Popick gives Cappa a thumbs up. COLE All of Popick's hopes and dreams rests on Cappa's shoulders tonight. He wants The Mad Cappa to rid the OAOAST of PRL. He believes 100% in Mad Cappa. COACH And why shouldn't he? Who has beaten Tha Puerto Rican more than The Mad Cappa? COLE Yes, but still. Popick does not want to be let down tonight. COACH And he won't. Because Cappa ain't Tha Puerto Rican. He's ALWAYS, ALWAYS been better than him! Cappa then gets off the second turnbuckle and hands the baseball bat over to a ringside attendant. The Mad Cappa chats with Popick, who gives him the "A-Ok" hand gesture. COACH The Mad Cappa hates Tha Puerto Rican with every fiber of his being. He has been looking forward to this match for the past two weeks. And now, in only a few moments, he's going to get the chance to do what he's wanted to do since March 10, 2003! COLE Fans all over the world are looking forward to these two men colliding once again. They've had classic battles in the past. They've fought over Titles, but tonight, it is all about pride. COACH But for Popick, it is all about getting rid of a thorn in his side. COLE True dat. COACH Stop. COLE Okay. The Mad Cappa stares at the entrance. "Breathe" by Fabolous dies down. The crowd is buzzing in anticipation for Tha Puerto Rican's entrance. COLE PRL going one-on-one against his greatest rival in our main event! COACH The whole world's watching, ESPECIALLY Popick! The lights go down in the arena. A Puerto Rican flag appears on the AngleTron. In big white blocky letters, the following words appear on the screen, with Tha Puerto Rican saying them: *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHH!" With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role '99" starts playing, with the crowd standing up and cheering loudly. PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" throughout the song, while smoke fills the entrance stage and strobe lights appear over, under, and around the AngleTron. A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and out from the smoke comes Tha Puerto Rican. The cheering gets louder. PR looks at the crowd with a smirk on his face. PRL cocks The People's Eyebrow. He snorts, and then begins his walk down the entrance ramp with Popick and The Mad Cappa eyeing him with ANGER in their eyes. BUFFER And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 220 lbs. He is one-half of The Badd Boyz. He...is...THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN! Chants of "P.R.! P.R.!" fill the arena as PRL continues his walk to the ring. COLE This will be the EIGHTH one-on-one meeting between PRL and The Mad Cappa in OAOAST history. They have fought at least once every year since 2003. The last time they were in the ring together was in the Lethal Rumble Match at Anglepalooza back in January. COACH Some grudges never die, Cole. COLE In the case of PR and Cappa, you are absolutely right. PRL actually slaps the hands of a few fans for once in his life, and then climbs up the ring steps to get onto the ring apron. He looks at the crowd and chuckles. Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring. He spins around; soaking in the fans' cheers as "Know Your Role '99" continues playing over the P.A. system. PRL does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. The crowd is still cheering. Puerto Rican glances over at Mad Cappa and tells him something before heading to a second turnbuckle and raising his hands in the air to loud cheers. P.R. gets off the second turnbuckle, stopping to say something to Mad Cappa, and then heads to another second turnbuckle where he raises his hands in the air again to more cheers. COLE PRL must focus 100% on The Mad Cappa even with Stephen Joseph Popick at ringside. He's fighting a determined Cappa, a ruthless Cappa, a Cappa who wants to end his career tonight. COACH And a Cappa who WILL end his career tonight! COLE The bell hasn't even rung yet Coach. PRL gets off the second turnbuckle and heads to a third second turnbuckle where he raises his right fist into the air and "smells the electricity" while a single spotlight shines on him ala The Rock. PRL hits a fourth second turnbuckle and does the same Rock pose on it, receiving cheers. Tha Puerto Rican gets off the second turnbuckle...right into a right fist from The Mad Cappa! The lights go back on in the arena and the referee calls for the bell! COACH It's rung now, Cole! *DING DING DING* "A Rivalry Renewed" THE MAD CAPPA (with Stephen Joseph Popick) vs. THA PUERTO RICAN "Know Your Role '99" dies down. The Mad Cappa wails on PRL with right fists in a turnbuckle corner! The crowd is hot, while Popick is smiling evilly. COLE Cappa. PRL. Old rivals. Fighting again. Tonight on HeldDOWN~! TMC continues pounding on PRL, causing him to stumble all the way to the opposite side of the ring. Cappa still punches P.R. *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Cappa goes back to the right fists, already causing PRL to become winded! But suddenly, PR ducks a shot, and fires off with a Rock-style punch to the temple! Then another! And another! And another! And another! *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE And PRL firing back with chops of his own! COACH What the hell, Cappa! Get back on the ball! PR grabs Cappa by his left arm, and then whips him into the opposite turnbuckle--Cappa reverses--PRL hits the turnbuckle...but then comes back with a clothesline, knocking The Mad Cappa down! "YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE And PRL is in control in the early going! Cappa gets back up, so PRL grabs him and punches him in the face several times. He removes the black skullcap from Cappa's head. He then gives him an Irish whip into the ropes--Mad Cappa reverses--Cappa ducks his head, so Puerto Rican decides to give Cappa a spinning neckbreaker taking him down! PR gets back up while Cappa lies on the mat holding his neck in pain. COLE The necks a sore spot for The Mad Cappa. Ever since PRL CRUSHED Cappa's larynx four years ago! COACH And I bet he would do it again if he could! P.R. waits for Cappa to get up. When he does, PRL hooks him up for a LATIN SLAM--no, Cappa elbows PRL in the head! He does it two more times to escape. PRL stumbles all over the ring, until Cappa grabs him by his hair. TMC flips PRL off and then charges forward--PRL reverses--and throws Mad Cappa over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE And The Mad One is out of the ring thanks to The People's Champ! PRL paces back and forth shaking the cobwebs out of him. Popick yells at Cappa to get back into the match. But when PRL exits the ring, Popick quickly scoots away. The Mad Cappa staggers around ringside with Tha Puerto Rican following him. Cappa goes for a back elbow--BLOCKED! PRL scratches Cappa's eyes, and then grabs him by his head, taking him over to the timekeeper's table, where he slams his head on top of the table! COACH There's an area PRL is most familiar with! Cappa staggers onto the ground. Popick looks on concerned while P.R. grabs the cooler from underneath the timekeeper's table and opens it, taking out a water bottle from it. PR takes off the cap, drinks from it...and then SPITS THE WATER BACK INTO THE MAD CAPPA'S FACE~!!! COLE THE DASAINI SPEW OF DOOM~! COACH WHAT!? PRL punches Cappa in the face a few more times. He goes to slam Cappa's head on top of the barricade, but Cappa won't budge. Instead, Cappa elbows PRL in the gut, punches PR in the gut, and then slams P.R.'s face on top of the barricade! COLE And Cappa is back in the driver's seat! COACH Where he will remain for the rest of the match! Cappa taunts Tha Puerto Rican, and then grabs him by his head taking PR into Sofa Central. COLE Look out! But nothing happens as Cappa just drags Puerto Rican through Sofa Central before kneeing him in the gut again. *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO O!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" Popick nods in approval of Cappa's actions. Cappa goes for a punch--BLOCKED! PRL fires with Rock-style punches to the temple! PRL grabs Cappa and slams his head on top of the announcers' table! Cappa rolls onto the floor. He gets up, only to get knocked back down by Tha Puerto Rican! COLE PRL and Mad Cappa fighting only a few inches away from us! Earl Hebner tells PRL to go back into the ring, so PRL lunges after him, and that's enough to stop the referee. COLE Earl Hebner letting them fight! COACH Good! This match deserves a proper ending! PRL picks The Mad Cappa up and taunts him for a bit. Popick is now a little annoyed. PRL throws Cappa back into the ring. COLE This match has already turned into a supreme slobberknocker and we're not even five minutes in! COACH 'Supreme slobberknocker?' PRL waits until Cappa is facing him...and then charges forward, clotheslining him over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE And back outside we go! COACH That was quick! Popick is once again on Cappa's case, yelling at him for not kicking PR's ass enough. Cappa just glances over at Popick and goes back to holding his neck. COLE Popick is NOT pleased with The Mad Cappa right now! COACH Of course not! He's letting PRL dominate him! That ain't right! Tha Puerto Rican exits the ring. He lunges after Popick, causing Popick to back off. PRL then grabs Cappa and nails him with punches to the face again. Puerto then grabs Cappa by his head and drags him up the entrance ramp. COLE They're going to the entrance! COACH They're going to use this whole arena as their battleground aren't they? COLE It wouldn't be the first time, Coach! Remember all those WarZone segments these two had? On the entrance ramp, PRL hits Cappa with a knife-edged chop across the chest! He then does another! And another! And a fourth one! TMC walks up the ramp with PRL following him. Once both men are on the entrance stage, P.R. grabs The Mad Cappa--Cappa scratches PRL in the eyes and punches him in the face! TMC grabs PRL in a front facelock on the entrance stage, puts Puerto Rican's left arm over his head, flips the referee, grabs PR's tights, and goes for a suplex--PRL won't let Cappa suplex him! PR does a suplex of his own on Cappa onto the entrance stage! COLE PRL with a suplex onto the STEEL stage! COACH Oh, that ain't right! "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" COLE The crowd 100% behind Puerto Rican tonight! STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK COME ON CAPPA! GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR! The OAOAST Starbucks™ Double Shot Instant Replay shows PRL giving Mad Cappa a suplex onto the entrance stage. Meanwhile, in real time, PRL taunts Mad Cappa, so Cappa responds with a low blow! COLE And Mad Cappa returns the favour! COACH That a boy, Cappa! Way to go! The Mad Cappa picks Tha Puerto Rican up, and places him in between his legs in a standing headscissors. COLE He could be going for a Cappabomb! COACH Do it, Cappa! Do it! Cappa lifts Tha Puerto Rican up!--PRL forces himself back onto the stage, and then gives Mad Cappa a backdrop onto the entrance stage! COACH Not again! COLE PRL back in control after that brief spurt of offense from The Mad Cappa! PRL plays to the crowd, who cheer. He then picks The Mad Cappa up by his long white T-shirt and drags him back down the entrance ramp, stopping to knee him in the gut along the way. PRL whips Cappa into the ring--NO--Cappa reverses, and PRL hits the ring back-first HARD! PRL stumbles out. Cappa charges forward, right into a clothesline from Tha Puerto Rican! "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE PRL responding with another hard clothesline on The Mad Cappa! The People's Champion picks The Mad One up and slams his head on top of the mat! Cappa collapses onto the protective mats. Popick looks on worried as PRL picks Mad Cappa up, making sure to taunt Popick while doing so. Suddenly, The Mad Cappa grabs Tha Puerto Rican's legs out from under him and sets him up, catapulting Tha Puerto Rican right into a ring post, knocking him down! POPICK YES! HA HA! COLE And Stephen Joseph Popick approves of that move by The Mad Cappa! COACH PRL is seeing stars now! Cappa can take control! The Mad Cappa kneels down, taking a moment to catch his breath as Tha Puerto Rican lies on the ground breathing hard. Popick eggs Cappa on. Cappa glances over at Popick and then turns his attention back to Puerto Rican. Cappa gets up and rolls back into the ring to break the count (what count? None.), and then exits the ring again. TMC picks PRL up and knees him in the gut, and then follows that up with a bodyslam right onto the protective mats! Cappa picks PR up and then throws him back into the ring. Cappa makes sure PRL's head is hanging on the outside so that he can drop an elbow onto his face! He then does it again for good measure. "CAP-PA SUCKS!" "CAP-PA SUCKS!" "CAP-PA SUCKS!" "CAP-PA SUCKS!" Cappa yells at the fans and then shoves PRL back into the ring completely, following him right after with an axehandle to the back of PR's neck! Cappa then starts stomping on PRL's chest and stomach while the crowd boos and Popick cheers. COLE The Mad Cappa in control of his most famous rival! COACH Keep up on him, Cappa! Make sure he doesn't get a chance to rest! COLE Who are you, his manager? COACH No, just a really hardcore fan! COLE Since when!? COACH Since last week! COLE At least you're honest. Cappa continues stomping on Tha Puerto Rican. Anytime Tha Puerto Rican shows signs of getting up, he is kicked back down by Cappa! Popick cheers with every kick. TMC grabs Puerto Rican and places him on the second ring rope, choking him with it. EARL HEBNER Come on break it up! One! Two! Three! Four! Earl Hebner tries to pull Cappa off of PRL to no avail! Cappa shoves the ref off of him, finally giving PRL time to breathe. But that ends quickly as Cappa goes right back to choking him with the second ring rope. POPICK Stay on him! Stay on him! Earl Hebner tries to pull Cappa off of PRL again. Cappa shoves the referee away from him while screaming, "GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!" The Mad Cappa decides to rush forward, bounce off the ropes, charge forward, driving all of his weight onto Tha Puerto Rican--NO! PRL moves out of the way! HOWEVER, Cappa stops in his tracks before he hits the ropes. He flips the crowd off and laughs at them for thinking he was going to miss Tha Puerto Rican. But Tha Puerto Rican is waiting with a clothesline!--NO AGAIN!--Cappa ducks, and fires with a clothesline of his own, taking The P.R. Menace down onto the mat! COACH YES! POPICK YES! The Mad Cappa gets onto a second turnbuckle and flips the crowd off! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OO!" COLE Cappa receiving no love from these fans, when just three years ago, these fans were 100% behind him in his battles against Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Wrestling fans are so fickle, Cole. Cappa shouldn't paid any attention to them! Another "CAP-PA SUCKS!" chant starts up. The former OAOAST Puerto Rican/Italian Champion gets off the second turnbuckle and drops another double axehandle onto Tha Puerto Rican's face! Popick motions for Cappa to not stop beating up PRL. Cappa poses again, drawing more boos. PRL rolls Cappa up! 1... 2... KICK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Popick is freaking out on the outside, chastising Cappa for posing. Both Cappa and PRL get up, and Cappa knocks PR down with a clothesline! Cappa has an evil smile on his face. COLE And look at Cappa, a happy smile on his face! He's proud of that clothesline! COACH And why shouldn't he be? That was a great clothesline! Cappa covers PRL. 1... 2... RIGHT SHOULDER UP!!! THE MAD CAPPA SON OF A BITCH! Cappa goes for the cover again! 1... 2... LEFT SHOULDER UP!!!! COLE PR not giving it just yet! Popick curses under his breath. Cappa does likewise. He covers PRL again, hooking PR's left leg. ONE! LEFT SHOULDER UP!!!! COLE Not even a two count there! ONE! KICK OUT!!!!!!!!!!! The Mad Cappa gets on top of PRL and starts pummeling him with lefts and rights! COLE Cappa with those piston-like right hands! COACH He's turning PRL from red, white, and blue to black and blue! Cappa picks Tha Puerto Rican up and simply throws him through the ropes and onto the floor! COLE Cappa throwing PRL out of the ring as this already chaotic match just got MORE chaotic! The Mad Cappa sneers at the crowd. Popick yells at Cappa to continue his attack, but Cappa yells back, "RELAX! I HAVE EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL!" COLE You know, for someone who hated Stephen Joseph Popick as much as The Mad Cappa did, he sure went under his spell rather quickly. COACH The Mad Cappa did what he had to do in order to get what he wanted. And what he wanted was to see Tha Puerto Rican's career end. And if all goes according to plan, that might happen right here tonight! COLE Cappa actually allowing PRL to buy some time here. COACH Relax, he knows what he's doing. He told Popick that, remember? The Mad Cappa rolls out underneath the bottom rope and grabs Tha Puerto Rican, taking him onto the top of the announcers table again. Cappa taunts PRL as he picks him up and places him in between his legs. COLE Uh-oh! I don't like the look of this! COACH This is it! This will end PRL's career for sure! Look how cruel The Mad Cappa can be! COLE My God, don't do it! The Mad Cappa's gonna send PRL right through the table! COACH Now PRL will know what it's like to have neck problems for the rest of his life! Cappa taunts the fans, readying himself to give PRL either a Piledriver or a Cappabomb...and we never find out what he was going to give PRL as PRL strikes with a low blow, preventing Cappa from doing anything on the announcers table! COACH He cheated! Tha Puerto Rican cheated! COLE Tha Puerto Rican may have saved his career right there! He hit that low blow, and I don't think the referee could see through Tha Puerto Rican's body! He doesn't have x-ray vision! COACH Believed me, brother, if I had x-ray vision, I'd use it for something else if you know what I mean. OH~! PRL and Mad Cappa both rest on top of the announcers table. Popick looks on concerned, stopping only to adjust the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. Tha Puerto Rican crawls off of the announcers table and grabs Mad Cappa's head, dragging him off the announcers table and onto the ground, where he picks Cappa up--Cappa counters, going dead weight, so that he can pick PRL up and drop him face-first onto the top of the announcers table! POPICK ALL RIGHT, CAPPA! The P.R. Menace stumbles onto the floor, holding his face in pain! Cappa stops to catch his breath. POPICK WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? ATTACK! ATTACK! CAPPA ALL RIGHT! The Capster grabs a cable and wraps it around Tha Puerto Rican's neck, choking him with it! Cappa pulls back on the cable, causing PRL to gag. COLE The Mad Cappa choking Tha Puerto Rican with a cable! He's trying to knock him out! He doesn't give a damn about being disqualified! He just wants to finish PRL off once and for all! COACH Oh well. Earl Hebner orders Cappa to stop choking PRL, but obviously, Cappa won't listen. TMC finally stops choking PRL, so that he can pick him up and give him several knife-edged chops across the chest! "P.R.!" "P.R.!" Cappa chops PRL across the chest! PRL chops Cappa across the chest! Cappa chops PRL across the chest! PRL chops Cappa across the chest! Cappa chops PRL across the chest! PRL chops Cappa across the chest! Cappa! PRL! Cappa! PRL! Cappa! PRL! PRL! PRL! PRL! Cappa scratches PRL in the eyes, and then applies a front facelock on Puerto. He then follows that up by placing PR's left arm over his head, grabbing PR's tights, and then lifting him up, dropping PRL stomach-first onto the top of the announcers table! COLE Oh my! What a move from The Mad Cappa! Stephen Joseph applauds The Mad Cappa. He nods his head and smiles evilly. PR clutches his stomach and cries out in pain. The Mad Cappa chuckles and then rolls back into the ring, leaving PRL to wither in pain. P.R. slides off the announcers table and onto the floor. COLE PRL's stomach feeling the burnt of that suplex, although I think his left kneecap might have felt it too! PRL is now clutching his left knee in pain. Cappa stops to rest in a turnbuckle corner. PRL is standing up on one leg, holding his left knee in pain. COLE Man, these two men have been in some memorable battles, and we're seeing another one tonight! PR collapses onto the ground. COLE The Mad Cappa physically dissecting his arch-rival tonight! P.R. limps back into the ring while holding his left knee. The OAOAST Starbucks™ Double Shot Instant Replay shows The Mad Cappa's suplex on Tha Puerto Rican onto the top of the announcers table. The Mad Cappa starts stomping on Tha Puerto Rican just as soon as he enters the ring! COLE The Mad Cappa going right to work on The People's Champion! COACH He looks like The People's CHUMP right about now! Cappa chokes PRL with his right foot! Earl Hebner orders Cappa to stop by the count of 5. Cappa stops choking PRL so that he can shove Earl Hebner halfway across the ring. The crowd boos loudly as Cappa argues with the Senior Referee of the OAOAST. COLE This match has been a brawl right from the start and Earl Hebner has had trouble containing it! Cappa shoves Earl Hebner. Earl Hebner shoves back! The crowd cheers! The Mad Cappa flips Earl Hebner off. Earl Hebner flips The Mad Cappa off! THE MAD CAPPA Eh, fuck you! Tha Puerto Rican hits The Mad Cappa with a right fist! And another! And another! PRL switches to Rock-style punches to the temple! PRL bounces off the ropes, ducks a clothesline, bounces off the opposite ropes, right into a Lou Thesz Press from The Mad Cappa! Cappa fires away with right hands to Tha Puerto Rican! He then just starts pummeling away with rights and lefts to the face of The Electrifying One! COACH The Mad Cappa is always one step ahead of Tha Puerto Rican! That's the way it's always been, and that's the way it'll always be! Cappa flips the crowd off. THE MAD CAPPA FUCK YOU! Cappa bounces off the ropes, stops, flips PRL off, bounces off the ropes again, stops, flips PRL off, flips the crowd off, flips Earl Hebner off, and then bounces off the ropes AGAIN to drop a double axehandle onto Tha Puerto Rican's face! COACH HA HA! They want to boo The Mad Cappa, then fine, be that way! He doesn't like you either! COLE The Mad Cappa in control of Tha Puerto Rican again in this match-up! COACH That was SO much better than The Puerto Rico Elbow! I love that! COVER! 1... 2... KICKOUT!!!!!!!!! COLE Close fall! COACH DAMNIT! Both PRL and Mad Cappa lie on the mat. Cappa is PISSED. Popick is trying to remain calm, but everyone can see how angry he is. COLE Good count, good positioning from the referee. COACH If you say so. COLE Oh will you stop!? Both PRL and Mad Cappa slowly get up. Puerto gets up first, but Cappa clips PR's left leg, causing PRL to fall to the mat again! PRL clutches his left knee in pain. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is in tremendous pain, his left knee is killing him, but The Mad Cappa doesn't care. He doesn't give a damn about PRL. In fact he wants to eliminate Tha Puerto Rican! He wants to get rid of him once and for all, once and forever right here tonight in San Francisco! The Mad Cappa rolls out of the ring and then drags Tha Puerto Rican by his hair so that his PRL's head is on the outside. This allows Cappa the chance to drop an elbow onto Tha Puerto Rican's face! Cappa then drops another elbow onto Tha Puerto Rican's face! Cappa stops to pose. The crowd boos. POPICK Enough posing, Cappa. CONTINUE! COLE Cappa resting, and Stephen Joseph Popick is NOT pleased about that! COACH Yeah! Cappa, you got PRL right where you want him! Don't stop now! The Mad Cappa flips the crowd off. COLE This may come back to haunt The Mad Cappa. COACH Or not. Either way, PRL is in trouble now! Cappa climbs back into the ring and picks Tha Puerto Rican up--Tha Puerto Rican punches Mad Cappa in the gut! PRL starts nailing The Capster with Rock-style punches to the temple! PR gives Cappa an Irish whip into the ropes. PRL goes for a clothesline, The Mad Cappa ducks, bounces off the opposite ropes...right into a Lou Thesz Press from Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Turnabout's fairplay! A Lou Thesz Press from Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Oh no! PRL pounds Cappa with rights to the face! He then switches to simply pounding Cappa with both hands! PRL gets up and drops several fists onto Cappa's forehead. He then charges forward, bounces off the ropes, charges forward again, stops, shakes his shoulders, dusts his right shoulder off, and then FLIPS THE MAD CAPPA THE MIDDLE FINGER, before dropping another fist right onto The Mad Cappa's forehead! COLE Five Knuckle Shuffle from Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Oh give me a break! PRL covers Cappa! 1... 2... LEFT SHOULDER UP!!! COLE Nearfall! COACH Oh, that was a close one! COLE Indeed it was, Coach! Indeed it was! PRL slaps the mat in frustration. He gets up just as The Mad Cappa gets up. PRL with a punch, and then a whip into the ropes, which Cappa reverses. Sleeperhold! COLE Sleeperhold! Sleeperhold on Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Yes! He's got him now! YEAH! The crowd is going nuts! The Mad Cappa cinches the Sleeperhold tight on Tha Puerto Rican! PRL flails his arms around while Earl Hebner checks up on him. COLE The Mad Cappa slowing Tha Puerto Rican down with that Sleeperhold on him! COACH He's got him good and weakened now! PRL falls to his right knee. Earl Hebner continues checking on Tha Puerto Rican. The crowd rallies for PRL to fight back. Popick motions for Cappa to "STAY ON HIM! STAY ON HIM!" PRL falls to both knees. COLE PRL's hopes to win this match may be going away right now! COACH They are, Cole! They are! PRL falls to the mat, but then gets back to his left knee. The crowd claps in unison, and their clapping gets louder by the second. PRL collapses onto the mat, still in the Sleeperhold. COLE This one may be moments from being over here in San Francisco on HeldDOWN~! PRL's eyes are closed. Cappa is taunting PRL while still applying the Sleeperhold. Earl Hebner checks on PRL. But PRL lunges after the referee. A "P.R.!" chant starts up again. It gets louder as PRL is taken down to the mat in the Sleeperhold. The referee once again checks on Puerto. Cappa cinches the hold tighter. POPICK DON'T STOP NOW! DON'T STOP NOW! Cappa has an evil grin on his face as referee Earl Hebner checks on PRL once more. PRL can barely move his arms now. COLE This a very sound yet very sadistic move from The Mad Cappa! He's talking trash to Tha Puerto Rican as he's punishing him! That's double jeopardy if you're a fan of Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Which I'm not! At least...not anymore. Indeed, Cappa mouths off to PRL while applying the Sleeperhold on him. The crowd now stomps their feet in unison, getting louder by the second. PRL is kicking his legs, but that's all he's kicking right now. COLE Tha Puerto Rican's gotta fight out of this! COACH He can't Cole! He can't! Finally, Earl Hebner checks on PRL one more time and then lifts PR's left hand into the air. It falls. "ONE!" COACH Here we go! This is it! This is the end! COLE You may be right, Coach! Earl Hebner checks on Tha Puerto Rican again. He then once again lifts PR's left hand into the air. It falls again. "TWO!" COACH It's down twice with only one more to go! COLE The People's Champion is in a bad way here! COACH It's over! Good night, PR! Earl Hebner checks on Tha Puerto Rican. COACH Who's the man? Say goodbye Lightning! Earl Hebner then lifts PR's left hand into the air for a third time. It falls-- NO!!!! COACH Three-WHAT!? COLE He's fighting! That heart is still beating! COACH Oh crap! The crowd comes alive! PRL sits up! He then rolls to his side. He then gets to his left knee. He then slowly gets up. PRL then gets to a vertical base, still trapped in the Sleeperhold! PRL tries to escape, but can't. So he punches Mad Cappa in the gut. He's still in the Sleeperhold! So PRL punches Cappa in the gut again! But Cappa will not let go of the Sleeperhold! Finally, PRL breaks free of the Sleeperhold! He punches Cappa in the face! Cappa punches back! PRL punches Cappa in the face again! Cappa punches back again! PR! Cappa! PR! Cappa! PR! Cappa! PR! Cappa! The two OAOAST veterans engage in a slugfest in the middle of the ring! Back and forth they go, until PRL gains the advantage, hammering Cappa with punches to the temple! Tha Puerto Rican whips The Mad Cappa into the ropes. He follows with a Sleeperhold! COLE And Tha Puerto Rican with a Sleeperhold of his own! Cappa flails his arms around, trying desperately to find something to grab onto. Popick looks on worried. TMC walks around the ring, still trapped in the Sleeperhold...until he hits PRL with a jawbreaker, breaking the submission hold! COACH Phew. COLE Cappa managing to escape the Sleeperhold with a jawbreaker! COACH Notice how PRL was nearly knocked out before escaping the Sleeperhold, while The Mad Cappa escaped the Sleeperhold with a jawbreaker in like twenty seconds? That right there should show you who's the superior of the two! PRL is still on his feet, so The Mad Cappa grabs Puerto and whips him into the ropes. He applies another Sleeperhold on Tha Puerto Rican...but then brings PRL down onto the mat! COLE Fall From Grace! The Mad Cappa's Sleeperhold Slam was just applied on Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Excellent move from The Mad Cappa! Cappa takes a deep breath and then collapses onto a second turnbuckle pad. The crowd boos loudly. Popick yells at Cappa for taking a break. POPICK He's vulnerable! GET HIM! GET HIM! COLE This match taking a physical, an emotional toll on both these magnificent competitors! These two talented young men are giving it their all, not for Titles, but for pride and because of the pure hatred that they both share for each other! Popick continues chastising The Mad Cappa. Cappa uses the top ring rope to pull himself up. He then looks at Popick, and sneers at him. COLE Did Cappa just sneer at Popick? COACH No, he was sneering at the crowd! Didn't you see where his eyes were looking at? COLE Yeah. They were looking at Popick! COACH Cappa's a little disoriented, that's all! This match, like you said, took a toll on him! He was clearly sneering at the crowd. He was! Damnit! He was! COLE Who are you trying to convince? Me or you? COACH ...Uh...um...er...uh... Cappa flips the crowd off. COACH There we go! That's better! Cappa covers PRL. COACH He can put Tha Puerto Rican away! 1... 2... LEFT SHOULDER UP!!!!!!!!! The crowd cheers! Popick stamps his right foot! POPICK COME ON! COLE Cappa got a nearfall, but the match continues! Cappa is furious! He gets up, grabs both of PR's legs, and then kicks him in the stomach! COACH It was the abdomen, not the groin! It's legal! It's legal! COLE Yes, Coach, it was legal. COACH Word. The Mad Cappa laughs maniacally. He has an evil smile on his face as he grabs PRL's legs again, and then tries to turn him around. COLE What's Cappa going to do now? PRL tries to fight off whatever Cappa is going to do, but The Mad Cappa is able to turn PRL completely over into THE WALLS OF CAPPA!!! COLE The Walls Of Cappa! The Walls Of Cappa! Mad Cappa has one of his finishing moves applied on Tha Puerto Rican! COACH He's got him! He's got him good! He's got him right where he wants him! The crowd is going nuts! Cappa pulls back on the submission hold, giving PRL even greater pain! Popick is on the edge of his seat (well, if he was sitting down, he would be). PRL screams in agony as Earl Hebner checks on him! COLE That Walls Of Cappa targeting the back of The Electrifying One! Tha Puerto Rican must be feeling hellacious pain right about now! COACH Then just tap, damnit! Give up! Live to fight another day! COLE He won't do that, Coach! Tha Puerto Rican has too much pride, too much of an ego to just give up! COACH Then any pain he feels is his own damn fault! PRL is close to the ropes, but he is in so much pain he doesn't even bother to grab them! COLE All that pressure on the lower back! The end may be near! COACH The end IS near! The end IS near! PRL moves closer to the ropes. Earl Hebner watches as Tha Puerto Rican crawls closer and closer to the ropes, but then The Mad Cappa pulls PRL away from the ropes into the middle of the ring! COLE Look at The Mad Cappa. He's like an executioner, pulling his--his prey back into the center of the ring where Tha Puerto Rican cannot reach the ropes! COACH Excellent ring positioning Mad Cappa! He's putting Tha Puerto Rican away! PRL screams in pain. Popick is nodding his head, feeling that the end is near! Cappa smiles evilly as he continues applying The Walls Of Cappa on PRL. THE MAD CAPPA It's over! It's over! It's over! It's over! The P.R. Menace struggles to reach the ropes. He sticks his left hand out. P.R. then starts crawling towards the ropes. Cappa can't believe it! P.R. crawls more and more, closer and closer, closer and closer to the ropes. PR sticks his left hand out...and grabs the bottom ring rope! COLE PRL breaks the hold! He breaks the hold! The Walls Of Cappa has been stopped! COACH Oh come on Cappa! Earl Hebner orders Cappa to let go of The Walls Of Cappa. After counting to 4, Cappa lets go of the hold. He then starts stomping on PRL! COLE The Mad Cappa pummeling Tha Puerto Rican, not stopping for a second! COACH Which is what he should do! Put him away for good tonight! Cappa stops stomping on PRL to taunt the referee again. Cappa takes Earl Hebner over to a turnbuckle corner and yells at him. The crowd boos loudly. COLE Oh what's that for? COACH He's just telling the referee to do his job! That's all! COLE Oh come on! The Mad Cappa gives Earl Hebner some last words of "advice" and then turns around...right into a punch from PRL! And another! And another! And another! And another! PRL charges, bounces off the ropes, ducks a clothesline from The Mad Cappa, bounces off the opposite ropes, charges forward...DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE OF DOOM~!!! COLE A mid-air collision! A clothesline from both men at the same time! Both men had the same idea! COACH Get up, Cappa! Get up! Both PRL and Mad Cappa lie on the mat. Earl Hebner begins his 10 count. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" COACH The first man to his feet will CLEARLY have the advantage! COLE But if neither man gets to his feet, and the referee reaches ten, then this match is over! COACH So then who's better? PR or Cappa? COLE Well, that might depend on who you like more. COACH Well, Cappa has the fighting spirit PRL lacks, so he wins in my mind! "SIX!" PRL starts moving. "SEVEN!" Cappa starts moving. "EIGHT!" Cappa grabs the bottom rope. "NINE!" PRL gets to his right knee. Earl Hebner stops the count. COLE The match continues. COACH Thank the Lord! Mad Cappa uses the ropes to pull himself up. Once he's up, he goes to punch PRL--BLOCKED! PRL fires off with a Rock-style punch to the temple! Cappa fires with a punch! PRL fires back with another Rock-style punch to the temple! Then another! And another! PR continues with The Rock punches, dazing The Mad Cappa! PRL whips Mad Cappa into the ropes--Cappa reverses--PRL bounces off the ropes and fires with a flying clothesline on The Mad Cappa! The Mad Cappa gets back up, so Tha Puerto Rican grabs him and whips him into the ropes again. He follows with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex on Cappa! PRL goes for the cover. ONE! TWO! THREE--TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CROWD AWWWWWWWWWWWW! COLE Close, but no cigar for Tha Puerto Rican! Cappa hearing the count, maybe seeing the count, kicking out just as the three was coming down! COACH There's still hope! As long as that bell doesn't ring, there's still hope! Both Cappa and PRL lie on the mat. The Mad Cappa uses the ring ropes to pull himself up, clearly fatigued now. Cappa rests his head on the top turnbuckle pad while Tha Puerto Rican gets up. COACH And notice how Cappa shoots that shoulder up! Makes sure that Hebner SEES the shoulder off the canvas! PRL gets up, and gets a back elbow to the face! The Mad Cappa punches PRL several times, and then takes him to the ropes, where he punches him in the face some more! The Mad Cappa then grabs Tha Puerto Rican by his left wrist, and then gives him an Irish whip into the opposite ropes. PRL reverses the whip. PR puts his head down, so Cappa kicks PR in the face... KICK! WHA-- NO! PRL shoves Cappa off into the ropes again! BODYSLAM~!!!!!!!! COLE Here we go! COACH Oh damnit! The crowd starts buzzing in anticipation of PR's next move. And true to form, PRL exits the ring, and then climbs the top rope. The crowd stands up and watches as PRL removes his left elbow pad and throws it into the crowd. P.R. then hunches over on the top rope, measuring his target, before standing up...and leaping off the top rope, doing an "UP YOURS!" hand gesture in mid-air, before connecting with his signature elbow drop! COLE The People's Elbow Drop! The People's Elbow Drop connects on The Mad Cappa once again! COACH Agh, I HATE his elbow drop now! Especially since he dropped the 'Corporate' part from the name of the move! COLE He's not Corporate anymore, Coach! He's doing things for The People now! COACH What a suck-up he's turned into! COLE Oh, will you stop!? Seriously! COACH No. COLE UGH! PRL goes for the cover. 1...2...KICK OUT!!! PRL slaps the mat in frustration! COLE PR feeling the match is moments away from being over! COACH Well, he's deluding himself if he thinks that! PRL picks The Mad Cappa up, taunting him along the way. Puerto Rican then whips The Mad Cappa into the ropes--Cappa reverses--NO!--PRL reverses--Cappa bounces off the ropes... SPINEEEEEEBUSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHH!" COACH Oh no. Oh God no. COLE This is it! This could be it! Popick looks on concerned as Tha Puerto Rican KIPS UP~! PR plays to the crowd and paces around the ring. The Mad Cappa is laid out in the center of the ring, so Tha Puerto Rican stands over him...and kicks Cappa's right arm onto his chest. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is feeling it! Tha Puerto Rican is feeling it! COACH NO! NO! NO! COLE It is now time for the most electrifying move in professional wrestling, The Puerto Rico Elbow! PRL removes his right elbow pad and throws it into the crowd! He then does some weird hand signals, stopping to flip Cappa off, and then bounces off the ropes, leaps over Cappa, and then bounces off the opposite ropes-- POPICK TRIPS THA PUERTO RICAN FROM THE OUTSIDE!!! COLE Hey! Wait a minute! COACH Popick! Popick just saved the day! PRL gets up, and crawls towards the ropes-- ::BELTSHOT~!:: COLE Popick hits PRL with the OAOAST Title belt! Tha Puerto Rican collapses onto the mat! Stephen Joseph Popick enters the ring and starts stomping on Tha Puerto Rican! Earl Hebner sees this and calls for the bell! *DING DING DING* (21:05) "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOO!" COLE DAMNIT! DAMNIT! Stephen Joseph Popick has ruined this match! Popick has caused the disqualification! COACH Who cares? Cappa is safe and that's all that matters! COLE He didn't win, Coach. COACH So? He's safe! And that's all Popick cares about! The OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion pounds on his former client to LOUD boos! Popick stomps on Puerto while The Mad Cappa gets up! COLE Cappa was in trouble until Popick came to the rescue! That son of a bitch ruined a great match! COACH Easy there, Mikey Cole! Language! SJP picks Tha Puerto Rican up and starts beating on him! Punches rain down on PRL, until PRL fights back with punches of his own! COLE Yeah! Get him, PR! Get him! PRL fires with Rock-style punches to the temple of Popick! Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT! Punch! Popick is knocked down to the mat! PRL grabs Popick and whips him into the ropes--Popick reverses--PRL reverses-- KICK WHAM P.R. NIGHTMA-- The Bone Thug clotheslines Tha Puerto Rican! He starts stomping on his cousin to boos! COACH And here comes the reinforcements! The Bone Thug chokes PRL with his right foot! Cuban Wall enters the ring via the top rope and joins in on the beatdown! Soon, Vitamin X and Mr. Boricua follow! And Thomas Rodriguez is right behind, getting a few kicks of his own! COLE Those damn thugs! They're manhandling Tha Puerto Rican right now! COACH Just like all those beatdowns they did on PRL's enemies! Now it's come back to haunt him! Vitamin X, The Bone Thug, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, and Thomas Rodriguez beat down Tha Puerto Rican! Stephen Joseph Popick recovers and joins in on the beatdown himself! The crowd chants for "HEAT!" COLE The Lightning Crew just demolishing their former leader in the middle of the ring! COACH And what a sight it is! I love it! Each member of The Lightning Crew gets a shot in on PRL! The Bone Thug and Vitamin X pick Tha Puerto Rican up. PRL is now dazed and confused. VX, Bone Thug, and Cuban Wall smile evilly. But their smiles fade when Tha Puerto Rican starts laying the smackdown on them bringing the crowd to life! COLE He's fighting back! He's fighting back! COACH Move in! Move in! A punch for Bone Thug! A punch for Vitamin X! A punch for Cuban Wall! Back and forth PRL goes, punching every member of The Lightning Crew in the ring! The punches stagger The LC members, but they are quick to recover charging in all at the same time, driving PRL into a turnbuckle corner! COLE The numbers game is catching up with PRL! PRL, a victim of The Lightning Crew numbers game, which is something I thought I would never see! COACH Karma's gonna get you, P.R.! HA! HA! HA! Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, Vitamin X, The Bone Thug, and Thomas Rodriguez all throw punches at Tha Puerto Rican at the same time, further weakening The People's Champion! PRL is nearly out of it, when Cuban Wall throws Tha Puerto Rican right into the waiting arms of The Mad Cappa. KICK WHAM BUST A CAP~!!!!!!!! COLE BUST A CAP! BUST A CAP on Tha Puerto Rican! COACH That never gets old! PRL does a Rock-like oversell of Cappa's Stone Cold Stunner. He flops down onto the mat and convulses while Popick stands over him and laughs evilly. The Lightning Crew all stand tall while PRL withers on the mat! COLE And Popick and The Lightning Crew have managed to take out Tha Puerto Rican here tonight! COACH And that's the end of that chapter! Popick points to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and taunts PRL. He then raises the OAOAST Championship belt over his head to boos. "PO-PICK SUCKS!" "PO-PICK SUCKS!" "PO-PICK SUCKS!" "PO-PICK SUCKS!" POPICK Oh stop! I know you all secretly love me! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! COACH Our Champion is riding high! COLE Yes, unfortunately, THAT man right there represents our company as Champion! COACH Why 'unfortunately'? I am loving his Title reign so far! COLE You're the only one then! COACH Oh well, more for me to love! PR lies spread-eagle on the mat. Popick orders The Lightning Crew to do something...and they all do another beatdown on Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Damnit! Stop it! That's enough! The timekeeper rings the ring bell numerous times, but when has that ever worked? The LC pummel PRL into nothingness. COLE Somebody stop this! That somebody looks to be Colombian Heat, who runs down the entrance ramp--only to be stopped by Spanish Fly, who beats on him on the entrance ramp! COACH The gang's all here! COLE Spanish Fly, that traitor! He's out here, and he's once again beating on Colombian Heat, just like last week! COACH Man, you gotta suck to get beat by a midget, huh? Fly and Heat continue their battle on the outside, while in the ring, The Lightning Crew continue their beatdown on PRL! Cuban Wall picks Tha Puerto Rican up. He has an evil grin on his face as he clutches PRL's throat with a GOOZLE~! COLE Uh-oh! Oh no! COACH Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Wall grabs PRL's tights, and then lifts him up! CHOKESLAM! COLE Chokeslam on Tha Puerto Rican! Just like last week! COACH Magnificent job, Wall! Excellent work! Wall looks over at a job well done, and then picks Tha Puerto Rican up again. COLE Now what? Wall taunts PRL, slapping him across the face! Cuban Wall then scoops PRL up onto his right shoulder, parades around the ring with him, and then drops to his knees, crushing PRL with a Wallbreaker! COLE Wallbreaker! And now a Wallbreaker on PRL! COACH WOOT~! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is OUT! He is unconscious! No way could he come out of this unscathed! COACH No duh, dummy. Cuban Wall has a smirk on his face. Wall charges forward, bounces off the ropes, charges forward again, and then jumps up and down onto Puerto Rican with The Lightning Crew Splash! COLE The Lightning Crew Splash! The Lightning Crew Splash on Tha Puerto Rican! And he is DEFINITELY out after that one! COACH Oh hell yeah he is! Cuban Wall high fives Popick and then Vitamin X. He tells Mr. Boricua something. Mr. Boricua does a splash onto Tha Puerto Rican! Mr. Boricua grunts, snorts, and cracks his knuckles. Boricua then picks Tha Puerto Rican up, knocking off his Puerto Rican flag bandana in the process. Boricua yells, and then places PRL right between his legs. Mr. Boricua yells, grabs PRL, and then lifts him up, holding him up in the air for a few seconds...before dropping him down HARD onto the mat with a Powerbomb! COLE Latino Bomb! Latino Bomb on Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Good job, Mr. Boricua! You get a cookie! COLE Why are they continuing this? PRL is out cold! COACH Cuz it's fun! COLE I should have figured that one out! Popick tells Bone Thug something. Bone Thug nods his head. Vitamin X and Thomas Rodriguez pick Tha Puerto Rican up. They hold him up while The Bone Thug leaps onto the top ring rope, springboards off of it, and then nails PRL with a reverse DDT! COLE And now Bone Thug with the Fuck Usted Madrefucker! THE BONE THUG ARRIBA LA RAZA~! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Vitamin X tells everyone that it's "My turn!" He picks Tha Puerto Rican up. PRL is groggy. X starts jukin' and jivin'. Punch. Punch. Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. Punch! PRL goes down! X screams, "YEAH-UH~!" He then picks Tha Puerto Rican up again, and scoops him up onto his shoulders in a Burning Hammer position. VX parades around the ring with Tha Puerto Rican on his shoulders, an evil smile on his face. COLE And now this! COACH You can do it, X! Vitamin X lets out a primal roar before throwing Tha Puerto Rican off of his shoulders, and doing a reverse neckbreaker on the way down! COLE And there's The X-Clamation Point! COACH That is indeed The X-Clamation Point for PRL! Vitamin X gets up and does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle to loud boos! He asks The Lightning Crew if they want him to go up. They all nod their heads. So, Vitamin X swaggers on over to the turnbuckle, exiting the ring, and climbing the top rope. COACH This should be good. VX is hunched over on the top rope. He looks down, smiles evilly, and then stands up, so that he can jump off the top rope, soaring in the air, before crashing down with the point of his right elbow directly hitting Tha Puerto Rican's face! COLE The Leap Of Faith! Leap Of Faith on Tha Puerto Rican! COACH And he didn't even get his clothes dirty! VITAMIN X BOO-YAH~! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" VX gets up and does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle again. Colombian Heat is lying on the outside in pain. Spanish Fly climbs the top rope. He waits for Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua to pick Tha Puerto Rican up. COACH Look out below! Spanish Fly leaps off the top rope, hitting PRL with a Fame-Ass-Er on the way down! COACH Fly Swatter! COLE And it just gets worst! COACH For PRL that is. NOT for Popick! Spanish Fly jumps back up and does a karate pose to boos! He yells in Tha Puerto Rican's face, and then poses again. COLE That sellout just got the best of PRL right there! COACH He's not a sellout! He's returned home! He's the 'Prodigal Son'! COLE He's a sellout, Coach! Going against all he believed in for what? What!? Spanish Fly slaps Tha Puerto Rican in the face, and then high fives Cuban Wall, Vitamin X, and Popick. Thomas Rodriguez kicks PRL in the head and then celebrates this with a jig. Popick laughs maniacally and congratulates his Lightning Crew on a job well done. COLE The Lightning Crew has demolished Tha Puerto Rican! He has been destroyed tonight! Who knows what injuries he may have suffered? COACH Truly, this is one of the greatest nights in Stephen Joseph Popick's life! The crowd boos and starts throwing garbage into the ring. Popick continues gloating with The Lightning Crew over what they've just done. Suddenly, he looks to the outside and gets an idea. SJP tells The Lightning Crew to hold on and exits the ring. He walks on over to the timekeeper's table where he shoves the timekeeper out of his seat and grabs the ring bell. The crowd starts buzzing. COLE Oh no. I've got a bad feeling about this. COACH I've got a good feeling about this. Popick tells Cappa something and then throws the ring bell over to him. Cappa is a little confused as to what's going on. COLE No. No. Oh God no. Popick tells Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua to pick Tha Puerto Rican up and send him to the outside. The two big men pick PRL up and throw him over the top rope and onto the floor where he hits the ground with a sickening thud. Stephen Joseph then walks on over and picks Tha Puerto Rican up, telling him something and laughing evilly before dragging him over to a barricade. COLE They're not gonna...please...don't tell me...they're not gonna-- COACH Oh yes. They will, Cole! Oh yes! Oh yes! They will! COLE NO! NO! DAMNIT! NO! NOT AGAIN! The crowd is now clue in on what's going to happen. And they start booing. Loudly, in fact. Popick places PRL's head on the barricade, and then tells Cappa to climb the top rope. Cappa seems a little hesitant, but after some persuasion, he does climb the top rope, the ring bell in his hands. COLE No! No! They're going to cripple him! They're going to end his career! COACH They're going to crush his larynx! They're actually going to do it! Finally, after all these years, The Mad Cappa will have his revenge! COLE PRL is out cold! COACH He won't feel a thing, then! The Mad Cappa is hunched over on the top rope with the ring bell in his right hand. Popick is telling Cappa to crush PRL's larynx right this instant. COACH Think about it, Cappa! This is what you've wanted since May 27, 2003! Now is your chance to make PRL FEEL YOUR PAIN! COLE He's not going to! He doesn't have it in him! COACH He does, Michael! He HATES PRL! This is his chance to get rid of him for good! COLE Stop this! This is insane! COACH This is payback! The Mad Cappa has a look of hesitation on his face. He holds the ring bell in his hands, but doesn't appear ready to use it. The crowd is practically begging Cappa not to do it. But The Lightning Crew is egging Cappa on, especially Popick. COACH What are you waiting for? Jump off the top rope! Do it! Do it now! This is your shot! This is your one chance! COLE Cappa seems to be having a change of heart! COACH What? Don't be nidicolous! He's going to do it! Any second now! He's going to jump off that top rope and CRUSH PRL's larynx just like PRL did to him four years ago! COLE Cappa isn't jumping off the top rope yet! Cappa is thinking things over on the top rope. Popick continues holding PRL in place, and is growing slightly annoyed with Cappa's procrastinating. POPICK What are you waiting for? Do it! Do it! DO IT NOW! COACH This is what you've wanted for four years now, right!? To destroy Tha Puerto Rican? To rid the OAOAST of him! This is your wish coming true! Why aren't you jumping off the top rope!? COLE It looks like The Mad Cappa...doesn't want to do it! COACH Why not!? COLE I don't know why not! He doesn't want to do it! COACH Not this crap again! First PR, now Cappa! COME ON CAPPA! DO IT ALREADY! Popick is now REALLY annoyed with Cappa's procrastinating. POPICK DAMNIT CAPPA! DO IT NOW! I ORDER YOU TO! The crowd is going nuts. Cappa looks at the crowd. POPICK DON'T LISTEN TO THEM! LISTEN TO ME! DO IT NOW! CRUSH HIS LARYNX! THAT'S AN ORDER! Cappa looks at The Lightning Crew in the ring, who are egging him on, annoyed with the procrastinating too. Cappa looks down at Tha Puerto Rican, and a look of remorse appears on his face. The Mad Cappa looks at the ring bell again. COLE The Mad Cappa is confused. He doesn't know what to do! COACH Here's a suggestion: CRUSH HIS FREAKING LARYNX! COLE The Mad Cappa doesn't seem too eager to do that! COACH ...Why? Cappa is still thinking things over. He keeps going back and forth between looking at PRL and looking at the ring bell. Popick is now ANGRY. POPICK Listen, you dare defy me? You dare disobey my orders? YOU DARE GO AGAINST MY WISHES!? DAMNIT CAPPA! CRUSH HIS LARYNX AND CRUSH IT NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! COLE Popick's annoyed right now! COACH And so am I! CRUSH HIS LARYNX! CRUSH IT! CRUSH IT! CRUSH IT! COLE What will Cappa do? COACH CRUSH HIS LARYNX! The Mad Cappa looks at the crowd. POPICK LISTEN TO ME YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH! That gets Cappa's attention. The Mad Cappa stands up straight on the top rope, and holds the ring bell with both hands. Popick has a wide grin on his face. POPICK Yes. Do it! Do it! Do it! Cappa looks at the crowd, looks at The Lightning Crew and winks at them, looks at Tha Puerto Rican, and then looks at Popick and nods his head. Popick nods back. The crowd is booing loudly. Colombian Heat is starting to get up, watching all of this while doing so. COLE No! No! No! No! No! COACH Here it comes! The Mad Cappa jumps off the top rope, raising the ring bell high up into the air... AND NAILING POPICK WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111 "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH WHAT!? WHAT!? WHAT!? COLE WHAT--WHAT DID HE JUST DO!? The Mad Cappa throws the ring bell down on the ground and yells at Popick. THE MAD CAPPA NO ONE TELLS ME WHAT I CAN AND CANNOT DO! COLE Cappa struck Popick! Cappa struck Popick! COACH He missed his target! He missed his target! COLE Oh no, I think he hit his target perfectly! That was a bullseye for The Mad Cappa! The crowd cheers Cappa for what he just did. The Lightning Crew all stand in the ring shocked at what Cappa just did! The Mad Cappa takes a deep breath and looks at Tha Puerto Rican. He then walks on over to him...and pulls him off the barricade! COLE Is he...is he HELPING Tha Puerto Rican!? COACH No! No! No! This is wrong! This is all wrong! I'm in bizarro world all of a sudden! COLE Mad Cappa helping PRL off the barricade! I don't believe what I'm seeing! PRL can't stand on his own two feet, so he falls to the ground instantly. Cappa just stares at PRL...until he catches out of the corner of his eye 6 members of The Lightning Crew exiting the ring and coming right towards him! COLE Look out Cappa! The Mad Cappa quickly hops over the barricade and runs through the crowd, with Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, Vitamin X, The Bone Thug, Spanish Fly, and Thomas Rodriguez running right after him! The crowd roots Cappa on as he makes a mad dash for the exit with six angry Lightning Crew members right behind him! COLE The Mad Cappa being chased by The Lightning Crew! COACH Does that mean Cappa's out of The Lightning Crew!? COLE Well, he attacked the leader, so I think so. COACH That ungrateful little punk! Doesn't he realize what he's done!? COLE I think The Mad Cappa would rather maintain his dignity then do Stephen Joseph Popick's bidding! COACH But he HATES Tha Puerto Rican! How could he...how...all...larynx...fights...hatred! UGH! THIS IS SO CONFUSING! COLE This is indeed a very confusing situation, but one things for sure, Popick's going to have quite the headache tomorrow morning! COACH Oh HUSH YOU! The OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion is out cold! How could you joke at a time like this!? COLE Cuz it's fun! COACH I should have expected that. Colombian Heat is up now, and he is checking on Tha Puerto Rican. PRL is still out cold following the attack from The Lightning Crew. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this contest, as a result of a disqualification...THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN! "Know Your Role '99" starts playing. Colombian Heat starts to help Tha Puerto Rican get up. COLE Well, what a wild night this was! Tha Puerto Rican took on The Mad Cappa once again. Stephen Joseph Popick interfered. The Lightning Crew did a beatdown on Tha Puerto Rican, and then, just when it looked like all hope was lost, The Mad Cappa HIT Stephen Joseph Popick with the ring bell INSTEAD of Tha Puerto Rican! COACH I just don't get it! I can't believe he would hit Popick like that! The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. Cut to the ending of Tha Puerto Rican/Mad Cappa match, starting with PRL about to do The Puerto Rico Elbow. COACH PRL was about to do his stupid elbow. But Popick tripped him. He then hit him with the OAOAST World Championship belt, which is the closest PRL will ever get to that belt, and then attacked him, ending the match. Then The Lightning Crew did their thing on PRL. Beautiful work, Lightning Crew. Then this happened... The Mad Cappa hitting Stephen Joseph Popick with the ring bell is replayed several times from several different angles. COACH Why Cappa? Why? This makes no sense! The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen again. Cut to live footage as Colombian Heat has PRL's right arm over his shoulders and is helping him walk to the entrance ramp as "Know Your Role '99" continues playing. COLE It is all very confusing. Perhaps Cappa will tell us why he did what he did. But right now, Colombian Heat is helping Tha Puerto Rican recover from that BRUTAL attack by The Lightning Crew earlier! COACH The Mad Cappa will pay for this! He's just been added to The Lightning Crew's hit list! COLE I think The Mad Cappa will worry about that once he's done running away from them! They might all be in Fresno right now, which is where we will be next week for HeldDOWN~! by the way! Fans, thanks for tuning into this week's exciting edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~! We will be sure to see the fallout from this match plus much more next week LIVE from Fresno, California! For Jonathan "Da Coach" Coachman, I'm Michael Cole saying goodnight from San Francisco! COACH I think Tha Puerto Rican left his kidneys in San Francisco! COLE Oh will you stop!? Colombian Heat helps Tha Puerto Rican walk up the entrance ramp. Heat is telling PRL what happened, but PRL is clearly out of it. The crowd cheers as Heat and PRL continue their walk up the entrance ramp while "Know Your Role '99" continues playing. Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat walking up the entrance ramp is the last image we see before we fade to black. FADE OUT

Great Britain. Rule Brittania Regal. Brittania rules the waves Noble. Britain never never never shall be slaves Dignified. Rule Britta... Not to be messed with! Anarchy for the UK Proud. It's coming sometime and maybe Brave. I give a wrong time stop a traffic line Ruthless. Your future dream is a shopping scheme Powerful. Cause I... wanna be...Anarchy! Barbaric. NATHANIEL BLACK KNEW BASEBALL STUNK ALL ALONG COLE Charming. Let's go to the ring. *DINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your following contest, scheduled for one fall... it is a Qualifying Match for the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match! The drum intro to "Dani California" thumps through the sound system and out swaggers California's own, James Riggs! Unfortunately for James, not even state loyalty can save him and Staci from a chorus of jeers. Riggs' cocky smile droops a little as he comes to the realisation that even here, he's going to get booed out of the building, but soon gets over it when reminded by Staci how far above the lowlife he is. BUFFER Introducing first... being accompanied to the ring by his wife and manager, STACI! He hails from Torrence, California. Weighing in tonight at two hundred, thirty two pounds... the iconic leader of the JR Nation... this is JJJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMEEEEEEEESSSS... RRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Staci climbs to the apron and holds open the ropes for her husband, who heads straight for the turnbuckles. Riggs pouns his chest twice with crossed arms before cockily thrusting them into the air while white pyro shoots along the apron behind him, meeting at the ringpost which explodes into a golden shower of sparklers. COACH Ooh, pretty. COLE James Riggs is a guy with many impressive credentials. He's a former X-Division Champion and former 24/7 Champion, for a while he held both those belts at the same time. He took the mask of Spanish Fly back in August of this year. He put Dance Dance Dragon out of the OAOAST. He was the HI-YAH International Champion on two occassions. He's got all the potential in the world. But in the past couple of months, he's been dividing his loyalties between the OAOAST and Hollywood. COACH Oh my God, does Logan know!? COLE ...the city of Hollywood. His acting career? COACH Oh! Oh, yeah, of course, sorry. Staci removes Riggs of his silver trenchcoat and gives him a good-luck peck on the cheek, which just makes him all the more smug. COLE We haven't seen James since the Halloween Spectacular, due to his acting commitments, where he's been shooting a bit-part role in a horror movie. COACH Woah woah, backpedal just a sec. Bit-part? James is a bonafide movie-star! Don't downplay that like it doesn't mean anything! How many Hollywood movies have you starred in recently there, 'Michael Caine'? .:CUE: "Oh No", Mos Def, Nate Dogg, and Pharoah Monche:. Riggs sees Staci safely out of the ring, not a second too soon as Todd Cortez marches out from the back. A quick burst of pyro shoots up from both sides of the ramp, showering Cortez in sparkles as he prepares to walk down the aisle. COLE Will James Riggs be read the Riot Act tonight? BUFFER And, introducing the opponent... fighting out of 'Hollywood Boulevard'! He weighs two hundred, twenty six pounds... "THE URBAN LEGEND"... TTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODD... CCOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRTTEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Sliding into the ring, Cortez looks unimpressed with the trash talk by Riggs. He removes his bulletproof vest and the gold chain around his neck, kissing the cross before passing it off to the outside. COLE Should be an excellent match here. Two very evenly matched wrestlers, two completely contrasting personalities, both men on the verge of breaking out and becoming a major star. COACH Well Cortez was in the main-event last month at November Reign. Riggs, more than capable of being there in the future. COLE But only ONE of these two will be in the Lethal Rumble on January 27th. *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds, both men coming out of their corners and squaring up in the centre of the ring. A few words are exchanged, mainly by Riggs in truth. Cortez still looks unimpressed though and as the fingers start to get pointed and the double-dog dares are laid down he steps back and strikes Riggs in the back of the leg with a stinging kick! And another! Riggs shouts in pain as Cortez then lays in a couple of forearms, before whipping the Californian off the ropes. Duck of the head by Todd... too early, allowing Riggs to put on the brakes and drive the point of the elbow into the back of Cortez's head. STACI There we go James! COACH Speaking of credentials... COLE Oh yeah. She's got a couple of great credentials, right Coach? COACH Get your mind out of the gutter! Disgusting! Cortez retreats into a corner nursing his head, Riggs following in after him with a couple of boots. An irish whip sends Cortez across the ring, corner to corner, Riggs following in again but with a head of steam this time. Cortez manages to avoid the boot this time, but Riggs plants it on the middle turnbuckle to stop his momentum. Which is only a temporary blessing before Cortez wraps him up from behind and dumps him with a Backdrop Suplex! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Right on the back of the head! That could do it already. Turning Riggs over, Todd looks to make good on that... 1... 2... NO! Using the ropes to pull himself up, Riggs looks shaken and tries to create some space, shooing the referee out of his way. Cortez is right back on him though, pinning him against the ropes and rifling another kick, this one into the chest. Again Riggs tries to get away, still with Cortez on his tail, connecting on a second hard kick. The ropes bounce Riggs forward and he falls to one knee in the middle of the ring. Todd pulls him right back up though, setting him up for another big suplex... ...which is abruptly stopped with a couple of elbows to the back of the head. Fighting his way out of Todd's grip, Riggs twists around and lands a quick kneelift, sending Cortez back into retreat. COLE Well, Riggs really needed that. COACH That's all he needed, just a second to get his bearings back. He's a wrestler, he's not as comfortable when he's stuck hand to hand with street thugs like Cortez. Once he breaks it down to his pace and his tempo though, he'll be sweet. With Cortez leant up in the corner, Riggs charges at him, this time catching him in the corner with a big clothesline. Grabbing hold of The Urban Legend by the wrist, Riggs then yanks Cortez out and short-arms him into another clothesline. On Staci's prompting he quickly follows up with a cover... 1... 2... No! Riggs jumps up and drives his forearm across the top of Cortez's head. And again. And a third time, with a hook of the leg to follow... 1... 2... No! Cortez kicks out and reaches up from his back, slapping Riggs in the chest, incase he couldn't tell it's going to take more to beat him than that. That serves to anger Riggs though and he responds by applying a blatant choke around Cortez's throat! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" Breaking the choke, Riggs jumps to his feet and comes right back off them with a quick legdrop. A legdrop which hits nothing but canvas, as Cortez rolls clear. COLE Riggs seems happy enough to try and out-fight the, quote-un-quote 'street thug' so far Coach. And it's not going too well. As Riggs gets back to his feet, Cortez further disjoints the tailbone of his opponent with his patented Crotch Droppah! Staci covers her eyes after seeing that. Which is probably for the best, as she doesn't have to witness the SAVATE kick that follows, catching her man under the jaw and knocking him flat to the canvas. Riggs sits up for a second but flops back down in a daze, stepped over by Cortez who hits a Standing Moonsault! 1... 2... NO! COLE Great offensive flurry by Cortez there. He's really been at the top of his game, ever since he saw the light and got away from Landon Maddix's side. COACH You mean stabbed him in the back? Again? COLE I don't think he did that on either occassion to be honest. COACH That's not how Landon tells it. Out of the ring now, Todd Cortez heads to the top rope. Staci is around the ring yelling advise to her man... which seems to pay off, as Riggs makes a sudden move, lunging at the ropes in order to CROTCH Cortez on the top turnbuckle! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH Good move, good move. COLE Cortez took a risk, an ill-advised risk, which didn't pay what-so-ever. Staci happily applauds that. She's moved away back to Riggs' corner by the referee as Riggs now looks to follow up, pulling himself up and punching the stricken Cortez in the breadbasket. And a second time. Heading to the middle rope, Riggs then hooks on a facelock, trying to set The Urban Legend up for a big Superplex. Problem being, Cortez won't budge. Twice, three times Riggs tries, with no success. Cortez lands a couple of shots to the ribs and breaks the facelock. Adjusting his footing on the middle turnbuckle, Cortez then swings out his right boot, catching Riggs right in the back of the head! COLE Another kick! Riggs falls groggily from the middle rope... and hangs himself up over the top for good measure! COLE Oh, and down goes Riggs, hard! COACH That should be an instant DQ. That's so dangerous, they wouldn't even allow that in UFC! COLE Uh, Coach, there are no ropes in UFC. COACH Exactly! Ring the bell! Pulling himself quickly back up, Riggs can only look up helplessly as Cortez now flips off the top rope and cuts him down with his patented Shooting Star Lariat! Cover by Todd... 1... 2... No! Catching Riggs with a quick jab, Cortez comes off the ropes and looks for a more traditional version of the Lariat. Riggs is able to duck the line, but that's about all, Cortez reacting the quicker and bundling Riggs into the ropes. Hanging on, Riggs is able to block the O'Connor roll and push The Urban Legend off. Cortez rolls through to his feet and charges again... ...but gets caught coming in with an opportunistic HOTSHOT!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE This time, it's Cortez who gets hung up across that top rope. Quick thinking there from Riggs. Staci climbs to the apron to confer with Riggs who insists that he's okay, despite not looking so. The referee breaks up the little tête-á-tête and orders Staci back to the corner again, while Cortez struggles to get his breath back across the ring. Riggs pulls him back up off the canvas, scooping him up for a slam. He seems to change his mind at the last second though and turns around, instead throwing Todd up and hanging him across the top ring rope for a second time!! COACH Ha, more quick thinking! COLE Well, that was pre-meditated right there. The referee needs to get on Riggs' case about that one. He doesn't get chance, as Riggs hooks Cortez to the ground with a clothesline and cradles him up for a pin... 1... 2... Kickout! Backing into a corner, Riggs comes off the middle rope with a double axehandle as Cortez begins to get back to his feet. The cocky Californian then turns out to the crowd, flicking back his blond mane and asking them how they like him now. Even Staci's best efforts can't save him from the boo-boys however. COACH And listen to the JR Nation come alive! Riggs gives up on his losing battle and tries to make this match a winning battle, as he sends Cortez across the ring with an irish whip. A scoop takes Cortez up on the rebound, but all the way over, The Urban Legend floating behind and spinning Riggs around into a boot. Cortez then pulls Riggs into a standing headscissors, looking for the Riot Act Plus... "YYYYEEEEEEE...." ...which is all the warning JR needs! Riggs catches Cortez in the backs of the knees with a couple of quick forearm shots which chops out his base, allowing him to back bodydrop his way to safety! A groan of disappointment goes through the crowd as Riggs falls to one knee looking very relieved. The former 24/7 and X-Division Champion then takes off for the ropes. Cortez is caught by surprise on his knees, CRACKED in the side of the head with the flat of the boot by the charging Riggs! COLE Wow! What a kick! COACH None of the fancy karate nonsense for James. Just run-up and kick 'em in the teeth! With Cortez dazed from that shot, Riggs quickly hooks him up. Suplex, leaving him vertical for a couple of seconds before driving him down with a BRAINBUSTER!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Riggs crosses his hands, convinced that it's over, reaching back and hooking the near leg... 1... 2... SHOULDER UP! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COLE A better cover and James Riggs might have been in the Lethal Rumble. In his annoyance at the count, Riggs sits Cortez up... *SMACK!* ...and kicks him in the spine. Busy badmouthing the crowd, he doesn't notice that he seems to have pissed The Urban Legend off. Had he noticed... *SMACK!* ...he might not have kicked him again. Cortez gets a burst of adrenaline and shakes the kicks off, climbing to his feet with a furious look on his face, much to Riggs' shock. COACH Whu-oh. Riggs typically tries to defuse the situation, holding out his hands and trying to tell Todd to calm down. And when that doesn't work, he typically tries a cheapshot, going to the gut with a knee. That stops Cortez for a second. And only a second, Riggs barely able to get out his sigh of relief before getting rattled with an elbow strike! Riggs responds in kind, but gets another elbow! Riggs with a forearm! Cortez with another elbow! And a kick to the back of the leg... another... and a third, which buckles Riggs' leg and causes him to crumble to the mat. Cortez hauls him right back up, sending him off the ropes with an irish whip and putting him into the lights with a BAAAAACK bodydrop!! COLE I think Riggs has awoken something in Todd Cortez... something he really didn't want to deal with! Favouring his neck a little, Cortez ducks out to the apron and crouches down, waiting on Riggs. The Californian stumbles around the ring and walks right into the range of The Urban Legend, springboarding to the top and connecting on a Springboard Clothesline! Cortez follows with the cover... 1... 2... No! Cortez tries to pull Riggs back up again... but a sudden headbutt to the gut catches him. And a second. A quick drop toehold then brings Cortez to the canvas, Riggs mounting The Urban Legend from behind attempting to lock on the Crossface Chickenwing! COLE Riggs is going for it! No Koppou, he's going straight for the submission! COACH This is how he won the X-Division Title! COLE Will it be how he makes it to the Lethal Rumble though? Possibly not as Cortez fights it with all he's got. With Riggs' 232 pounds pinned on his back Cortez is stuck though, trying to keep his right arm pinned under his body to prevent the chicken wing from being applied. Riggs gets a little frustrated, clubbing Cortez in the back of the neck with a series of punches until he finally gives up the arm. As soon as Riggs grabs the arm and starts to get the chicken wing though, Cortez shifts and gets out from underneath Riggs, hooking his legs around the bottom rope and forcing a break! "YYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!" COLE Cortez dodged a bullet right there. COACH Well, he's got plenty of experience in that department. COLE Uncalled for... as usual. Riggs breaks his contact with Cortez before a five count can be put on... but as soon as he's sure the ref is done counting, he goes right back to Cortez and drags him off the ropes. Cortez has answer this time though, taking down Riggs with his own, modified drop toehold. Riggs faceplants into the canvas and holds his (wannabee) movie-star face as he gets to his feet... ...more pre-occupied with his looks apparantly than the standing headscissors he's being pulled into... COACH Oh no... COLE HIT THE RECORD BUTTON... *WHAM~!* "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE RIOT. ACT. PLUS~! STACI The crowd are still jumping, even as Cortez crawls over to Riggs to complete the formalities. COLE And that quickly, it's over. Nobody kicks out after that. 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Here is your winner... advancing to the Lethal Rumble Match, "THE URBAN LEGEND"... TTOOOOOOOOOOOOOODD... CCOOOOrtez! Cortez has the win. Buffer's announcement trails off though and the cheers quickly turn to boos as into the ring slides LANDON MADDIX, jumping the unsuspecting Cortez from behind to the fury of the San Francisco crowd!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Damnit! What the hell is this!? COACH Looks like Landon Maddix. COLE Oh, well, thank you... what is he doing out here!? Maddix puts the boots to Cortez, Staci quickly pulling the limp James Riggs out of the ring and out of further harm's way. The referee is apaplectic, trying to get Landon to stop his attack... *DINGDINGDINGDINGDING!* ...his second plan of ringing the bell a bunch, unsurprisingly, not working either. COLE I guess Landon Maddix can't stand to see Cortez have any success! What a bitter human being this guy is! COACH He's got every right to be bitter! That's the man who cost him the World Heavyweight Championship, that's the man who turned his back on his help and his advise, that's the man who stole his woman away and that has not been forgotten, even now, a couple of years on! "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" Shoving the referee aside, Maddix encourages Cortez to get back to his feet. The Urban Legend holds his neck but tries to do just that, unaware that his former tag team partner is stalking behind him. As soon as Cortez gets to one knee, Landon grabs a hold of Cortez and pulls him forward, trapping him in a standing headscissors and making a familiar signal with his hands! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Oh yeah! Do it, give him a taste of his own medicine! With a big grin on his face, Landon wraps his hands around Cortez's waist and springs up... ...up... ...and, much to his despair, realising halfway that he's going no further! COLE CAUGHT! *WHAM!* Cortez whips Maddix right back down to the canvas with an Alabama Slam!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE And now, we might be about to see how it's really done! COACH Oh no... The San Francisco crowd are going wild as Landon staggers to his feet, holding the back of his head. La Cucaracha doesn't know what's coming. He is, it's safe to say, the only one in the arena. Boot to the gut meets him, Cortez pulling Landon into a standing headscissors, flipping up and over.... COACH ...OH NOOOO! *WHAM!* ...AND SPIKING MADDIX ON HIS HEAD WITH THE RIOT ACT PLUS~! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE MADDIX GETS THE RIOT ACT PLUS... AGAIN!! "Oh No" finally has the chance to be cued to signify Cortez's victory, The Urban Legend more concerned with Landon now. Knelt at Landon's side, Cortez mouths something to the unresponsive and probably unconscious La Cucaracha before leaving the fallen Spaniard laid out in the ring. The crowd give Cortez the warmest reception he's probably ever had in the OAOAST, his back slapped in congratulations by a good number of fans as he takes his bulletproof vest and chain and walks to the back. COLE Landon Maddix must have nightmares about the Riot Act Plus! That's... I've lost count, five, six times he's been hit with it since Cortez left his side? It's almost as if it's inevitable! Maddix just can't seem to avoid it! COACH Is somebody going to check on him? COLE Yeah, sure, we'll get someone right on it. One last shot of the prone Landon Maddix takes us to... The backstage area, where The Mad Cappa is shown walking. The crowd boos loudly. Cappa has a cocky smirk on his face as he makes his way to the gorilla position. Suddenly... "HEY YO!" No, it's not Scott Hall, it's Tha Puerto Rican! The crowd cheers loudly! PRL walks with a swagger up to his mortal enemy with a smirk on *his* face. Cappa stops walking and just stares at his least favourite OAOAST competitor ever. THE MAD CAPPA What do you want? You want to start things early? THA PUERTO RICAN No, actually, I just wanted to tell you...good luck. MAD CAPPA Pardon? PRL I said...good luck. Look, it's bad enough I said it once, now you made me say it twice! CAPPA P.R., what are you doing? Is this some kind of trap? PRL Have you been watching HeldDOWN~! these past two weeks? This ain't no trap! I'm not like that anymore! CAPPA Uh-huh. You're still the biggest ass in this entire company! PRL Oh, I don't know. I think I might have some competiton in that department. Maddix, for one. Look, Cappa, this is going to be the first and ONLY time in my life that I ever say this to you, but...be careful out there. CAPPA Be careful? PRL Yeah. Be careful about Popick. He ain't all that. Trust me, I know from experience. CAPPA I know. I've been watching you for the past three years. PRL That sounds kind of creepy. Anyway, Cappa, be careful about trusting Popick. He doesn't really care about you, you know. He's just using you. Using you to beat me. After that, he's going to drop you like a bad habit. CAPPA Popick promised me a World Title shot after I beat you tonight! PRL WHAT!? Come on, Cappa! That's the oldest lie in the book! I thought you were smarter than that! I mean, COME ON! You can see through me, but you can't see through Popick!? To quote The Hurricane, 'Wassupwitdat!?' CAPPA I have a better track record with trusting Popick than I do you, you know. I mean, it wasn't Popick who crushed my larynx! PRL That was four years ago. GET OVER IT! CAPPA I will. After tonight, when I put you out for good! PRL So, it's gonna be like that, huh? Okay, look, I know I'm the last person who you should be taking advice from. But please, think about it. Why would he call you out of the blue like this? He's using you. You're like a puppet for him! He's pulling the strings, Cappa! But cut those strings, and be your own man again! You had shady managers before! Remember Vince Rusco? Popick is like Vince Rusco, but a MILLION TIMES WORSE! Cappa, Stephen Joseph Popick is bad news. Believe me. Even though I know it's hard to. THE MAD CAPPA P.R., why are you doing this? Why are you talking to me like this all of a sudden? PRL Because, in a roundabout way, I...I...I...well...I--uh...um...I... PRL takes a deep breath. PRL Ugh. I...re-respec--I...respect you. CAPPA ...Seriously? PRL Yeah. I mean, after all of our battles, how could I NOT!? You bring out the best in Tha Puerto Rican. We've entertained these fans time and time again. We've gone down in history as the greatest rivalry in OAOAST history! OF COURSE, I have respect for you, Mad Cappa! There's no one who even comes CLOSE to my level except you. You're not my equal, but you come close. The Mad Cappa is surprised by this. And so is the crowd. PRL I'm going to hate myself in the morning for telling you this. UGH! So, just think about what I just said. REALLY think about it. Popick ain't good news. He's not to be trusted. Trust me, I should know. I REALLY should know! I'll see you out there. Tha Puerto Rican walks away. The Mad Cappa watches him go and then looks down at the ground. He seems to be lost in thought. The crowd cheers. COLE The Mad Cappa and Tha Puerto Rican collide one more time and it's coming up next! The Mad Cappa continues standing in the backstage area, thinking things over. We fade out on a close-up of The Mad Cappa, lost in thought. The crowd buzzes in anticipation for the main event coming up next. FADE TO BLACK COMMERCIAL BREAK

OAOAST Productions, Proudly Presents... #~~THE LOVE SHACK~~# To the sound of piped in applause we are transported live and direct to Grand Rapids, Michigan and the world famous Love Shack! Don't let the set of lockers just about in shot and the sight of Biff Atlas walking across the front of the desk wearing nothing but a towel fool you into thinking this is just some locker room in San Francisco with a desk dragged in and a black canopy hung up from the wall, oh no. This is The Love Shack! And sat at the desk is Grand Rapids' favourite son himself, Leon Rodez, in full festive cheer wearing a purple santa hat. The edges of Leon's desk are lined with purple tinsel, as is the picture frame surrounding the photo of Maggie Nerdly, who incase you don't read every show is Leon's girlfriend. She's the interviewing one. RODEZ Salutatations, one and all. Leon takes a swig of the egg nog in front of him and scowls. RODEZ Ugh... who drinks that!? *wipes mouth* Ach. Yes, as you might have guessed, we're getting into the festive spirit here in The Shack. Only twelve days left until Christmas. And, well, the twelve days of Christmas are upon us. WalMart were all out of partridges and pear trees, so you'll have to settle for a Rodez in a Love Shack instead. After a couple of seconds of dead air, Leon balls up a piece of paper on his desk and tosses it overhead. RODEZ That's what happens when you use D*LUX to replace striking comedy writers. Rest of OAOAST, take note. So, what have we got tonight, besides rapidly souring Christmas beverages and poorly constructed jokes? Well, for starters, we have one of those HILARIOUS singing fish that you mount on your wall. Or, at least, used to, back when they were popular. It doesn't actually sing Christmas songs. But, it's a singing fish, so to hell with logic! RODEZ Creepy. Kinda makes me wish we had some of that Late Night technology, with the superimposed lips. Tell you what, go back to a close-up... If you think I stink, you hear Zack do stand-up! RODEZ ...nah, without lip synch, it's not the same. Leon shuffles what papers he has left on his desk. RODEZ NOW, on with the rest of the show. We do have a guest tonight, making his Love Shack debut appearance tonight... actually, go back to the fish a second. Caption competition! Spanish Fly: Finally Unmasked! RODEZ Okay, great. Expect the fish to make it onto the active roster within a week. Now, show. As I was saying before I was distracted by the inanimate rubber ephigy of a fish, we do have a guest tonight. He's a guy who's had a great 2007 and is looking forward to a great 2008 as well. Commissioner of his own company and former World Champion, ladies and gentlemen, LANDON MADDIX! The piped in applause sparks to life again as Landon are cued on. Landon, either disregarding or forgetting altogether all the water that's passed under the bridge between he and Leon, shakes the humble host's hand before taking a seat on the purple-tinsel lined chair provided. LANDON Sorry Megan couldn't make it. RODEZ Oh, me too! ... RODEZ SO, Landon, thanks for coming along. LANDON Happy to be here, on a great show such as this! I don't just appear on every forum available you know. RODEZ Uh-huh. So, last week, you were on some fledgling show called 'Reel Talk'... never heard of it myself, but I digress. You announced last week you were officially entering yourself into the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match, at AnglePalooza. LANDON That's right. You see, this is my chance. My best chance to get back where I belong, atop the OAOAST mountain with that World Championship as my flag of victory. As it is, the rematch for the World Title I so rightfully deserve isn't happening. Apparantly, because of the WAY I won the title in the first place, I'm not entitled to an automatic rematch clause. Going through AngleSault is a giant waste of time unless you're an old and trusted friend, like certain rivals of mine, who shall remain nameless. Like Zack Malibu. And we all know that Popick would never defend the title again in his life given the option. He's work-shy and doesn't like defending his title. A true OAOAST champion! RODEZ ...I'm sorry, go on. LANDON Yes. Well... winning the Rumble, it bypasses all of that. It bypasses all the paperwork. Bypasses AngleSault. Bypasses The Popick Crew, with Lindsay Popick-Gonzalez and Cuban Popick and The Popick Thug and the rest of the OAOAST JOB Squad. And it gets right down to the skinny. Number one contender. World Champion. AngleMania. You only have to look at last year's AngleMania to see, I'm the man to beat in the Lethal Rumble. RODEZ Well, you certainly have credentials, I won't deny... Trailing off, Leon looks up as a special guest has walked their way onto the set. And before you think to ask about security or the lack there-of, don't panic, because the guest is none other than SANTA CLAUS! Oh, joy unbound! RODEZ (more wooden than a rainforest) Well well, it's Santa Claus! What brings you to The Love Shack, Santa? SANTA CLAUS (sounding suspiciously like Jade Rodez) HO HO HO! I have a very special present for you all today. RODEZ If it's a singing fish, we'll pass if it's all the same with you. Reaching into 'his' Christmas sack, Santa produces two gifts. One, a limited edition DVD boxset of the FIT with KID exercise program for Landon, which he seems pretty intrigued with. The other present is for Leon. And is... a piece of paper? RODEZ Oh, my. It's a transcript of Landon Maddix's appearance on Reel Talk from last week! Just what I always wanted! 'SANTA CLAUS' (still sounding suspiciously like Jade Rodez) You're welcome Leon. And, as you've been an extra special boy this year, I can also tell you that your mommy has sent me your Christmas wish-list. I've gotten my elves... RODEZ Shayne and Tyler? 'JADE' Yes. They have been busy in Santa's workshop preparing all your presents. Socks, perfume, a copy of Disney's High School Musical 2 on DVD... Santa knows how much you love singing along with the songs on that, HO HO HO... RODEZ Okay, I think I hear the sleigh bells calling you there 'Santa'. 'SANTA CLAUS' Oh, okay. Merry Christmas everyone! HO HO HO! The canned applause track hits again as 'Santa' waddles off in her oversized suit, waving to the non-existant people. LANDON You know, if you don't want the DVD, then... RODEZ Oh, Megan likes it too? LANDON Uh... yes. Megan. RODEZ Well, now that that brief digression is behind us, let's have a look at this 'present' shall we? Oh, yes, very interesting stuff here. And... what's this? "Nothing is going to stop me from going all the way this year, through 29 others, then on to AngleMania to get back my World Title." I think that's verbatum. You've got to admire a guy with confidence. But, that brings me to me next and perhaps only question. You have had a great 2007. But, the last couple of months of it haven't quite been as good, have they? And most of that can be put down to one simple thing... Todd Cortez and his Riot Act Plus. Landon scowls. LANDON What is this!? RODEZ What's what? I'm just asking a simple, harmless question. LANDON Look, I don't want to talk about Todd Cortez or his ridiculous little move, alright? If you ask me, it should have been banned a long time ago. RODEZ I'm not gonna argue with you. Cortez almost broke my neck with that move. The question is, you say nothing can stop you, but it seems like recently, it's been stopping you a lot. It stopped your World Title reign at the Halloween Spectacular. It stopped you from so much as escaping the first cage at November Reign. It... LANDON But it won't stop me at AnglePalooza! I mean, what's he going to do, piledrive me so hard I bounce right up and over the top rope? I'd like to see that! Besides, who's to say he's even going to BE in the Lethal Rumble? He's gotta get past James Riggs yet. That's going to be easier said than done, even with his 'one move of doom' to help him out. I don't sweat it. Not one bit. So he got me with the Riot Act once... or twice... in the past few weeks. So what? All this talk about Todd Cortez knowing me better than anyone else in the OAOAST, knowing all my weaknesses, and him having this one move that's my 'achilles heel'... people seem to forget, we were partners, which means I know him as well as he knows me. Not to mention how well Megan knows him too. Between us, I'm pretty sure we've got this little piledriver as good as sussed. Now, if that's all you've got for me, I think I'll be leaving. ..... Thanks for the DVD. Angrily, Landon marches off set, leaving Leon to kinda shrug to camera. RODEZ I dunno about you, but that frenzied rambling sure convinced me! Another happy ending here on The Love Shack. That's all from me tonight, apparantly, so all that remains is to wish you all a hearty, Non-Denominational Happy Holidays! Cut to a black screen. The Mad Cappa's head appears on the screen in black and white. The Mad Cappa has a cocky smirk on his face. Under him appears the words THE MAD CAPPA in big red blocky letters. Tha Puerto Rican's head then appears on the screen in black and white. Tha Puerto Rican has The McMahon SNEER~! etched on his face. Under him appears the words THA PUERTO RICAN in big red blocky letters. Cut to another black screen. The following words appear on the screen in big red blocky letters: A RIVALRY RENEWED OAOAST HELDDOWN~! SEPTEMBER 8, 2005 A RIVALRY RENEWED FADE TO BLACK Commercials

Cut to a black screen. The Mad Cappa's head appears on the screen in black and white. The Mad Cappa has a cocky smirk on his face. Under him appears the words THE MAD CAPPA in big red blocky letters. Tha Puerto Rican's head then appears on the screen in black and white. Tha Puerto Rican has The McMahon SNEER~! etched on his face. Under him appears the words THA PUERTO RICAN in big red blocky letters. Cut to another black screen. The following words appear on the screen in big red blocky letters: A RIVALRY RENEWED OAOAST ANGLEMANIA III MARCH 28, 2004 A RIVALRY RENEWED We're brought to the arena parking garage, where Mackenzie DeCenzo, outfitted in lean black pants and a white dress shirt, reclines in a black BMW convertible, intently thumbing through a catalouge. This moment of peace is quickly shattered, by Alix Maria Spezia, who approaches from off camera, holding an oversized pink and gold giftbox. Wearing, a purple stripped abercrombie polo, and heavily flared jeans, Alix leaps into the passenger seat. ALIX Hey-ya, honey bunches of oats! MACKENZIE Oh, there you are. Hi! ALIX Whatchya doin? Writin dirty words in the crossword puzzle? Because I am so about getting my eighth grade humor on right now. MACKENZIE Actually, I'm trying to get back into Moneymaker's good graces by buying his great uncle a present for him. A congratulations for sentencing his fiftieth man to death. What should I get? ALIX Well, nothing says cruel and unusual punishment like a ticket to a Jennifer Lopez concert, that's for sure. But, hey, speaking of presents, my mom and I would laugh at Uncle Hector when he used to go back down to Mexico to hunt. But we weren't laughing next morning when we found him passed out on the couch with some coked up fifteen year old whore he picked up in the barrio. Speaking of underage hookers, I have presents! Alix scrounges a dingy looking necklace, who's beads seemed to be made up of kibbles and bits, from her pocket. Oblivious to Mackenzie's disturbed reaction, Alix shoves the unwanted present in her lover's hands. MACKENZIE (dumbfounded) Oh, Alix, its such a..such a..such a necklace. Yes such a necklace. Such a necklace. Indeed. Most definitely a necklace. ALIX I know, right! And isn't it so bitchin how they painted the bat poop to look like little rubys and emeralds? I bought it off transvestite dressed as June Carter Cash. Yeah, she was raising money for her grand-ol-opry ration. MACKENZIE (tucking the necklace away in her purse, without intention of ever bringing it back out) Always glad to be of service to a good cause! ALIX That's the Christmas spirit, a spirit which I'm forever barred from getting into, 'cause of the whole mistaking the nuns who came over my house in twelfth grade for a toys for tots drive as a really cleverly disguised stripo-o-gam. But, you toss 'em a few margaritas, and you'd swear they were ready for all night orgies at the convent. Anywho, I got, more presents! Without waiting for a prompt for Mackenzie, Alix slams the large box onto the blond's lap. Somewhat apprehensive by her unusual girlfriend's generosity, Mackenzie smiles nervously. MACKENZIE Alix, you shouldn't have! (Mackenzie opens the present.) Ah, at the risk of sounding cliché, you really shouldn't have! The camera pans down to show a baby ferret crawling around in the box. MACKENZIE Baby, I think you're supposed to kill and skin the animal before you turn it into a scarf. Not to worry, I'm sure if we give CPA an issue of Elle, he can bludgeon it to death in a few minutes. ALIX You're so crazy, I think I wanna have yo baby. But I can't because we both have girl parts! Too bad so sad! But Its not a scarf, silly girl its a pet! MACKENZIE A pet? ALIX Didn't ya have one when you were a little tiny Mackie? MACKENZIE I had a Barbie. But she had nicer roots then me, so I ripped off her legs, and slowly tortured her in the eazy bake oven. Tell me, what is this pet thing? ALIX The things we have to keep locked in the basement because of Uncle Hector's touchey feeley problem. Also any domesticated or tamed animal that is kept for purposes of companionship and cared for with tender affection. MACKENZIE Alix, I had no idea you were so, well, so verbose with your vocabulary. ALIX Yeaaaah, I kinda mistook Christian's dictionary for a Juggs magazine. MACKENZIE (holding the tiny animal in front of her face, and eying it with curiosity) Hmmmm. So I house, and feed this animal, without any intention of wearing and or eating it? ALIX Correcto-mundo, babe! Shrugging her shoulders at this revolutionary idea, Mackenzie sits the animal on her lap. MACKENZIE It kind of looks like Ned. ALIX Mackie, no, it can tell when you're insulting it! If you don't like it I can always seduce Christian Wright and stuff it down his pants. Its even funnier the fourth time ya do it! MACKENZIE I bet it is, darling. Um, you know what, I'm thinking of keeping the little guy... ALIX Really? You don't have to do that to make me happy! Your legs are so nice, that your personality doesn't really matter to me. MACKENZIE No, its a very sweet gesture, and I very much want to keep it. Now, I know your birthday is this Saturday, and we have a very special evening planned. ALIX Whoo-hoo, cherry flavored edible panties, fat free strawberry motion lotion, and five pounds of vanilla icing with rainbow sprinkles! Yummy! Hint if you're planning on paying a v-i-s-i-t to the OBGYN, make sure ya get totally sprinkle free, 'cause those dudes talk, and that's the last thing ya wanna see on VH1's Top 40 most humiliating celebrity moments. MACKENZIE I was thinking more along the lines of reservations at The Ivy, a cherry parfait, and then cherry flavored edible panties, and all the other things I had to send CPA out to buy lest my pristine reputation be soiled. But, for an early birthday gift, I'm gonna say goodbye for now and you my dear are going to spend a little time in The Enterprise dressing room. Show them you're not the disruptive presence they all think you are. Really try and befriend Christian, if you can. Alix is more then a little shocked at this suggestion. ALIX Holy inappropriately timed erections Batman! You suck at presents! Are you trying to skip purgatory and ship me on the express train to hell? No way Josie! No means no, unless we're in the BDSM room in which no means yes but without the whip. Did I tell you I'm building a BDSM room? We're both aneroxics, why do we need a kitchen? Like, anyway, Mackie, no way, they all hate me and want me to die! MACKENZIE How do you know that? ALIX Because Simon said they all hate me and want me to die. Mackenzie sighs and soothingly rubs Alix's shoulders. MACKENZIE I know, its been a little rocky, and everyone's tempers have kind of gone crazy. But, I've got a solve this terrible situation somehow, and short of leaving The Enterprise altogether, which I can't do, because I have to earn money to support myself, the only way I can think to do it is to try and make peace somewhere. I don't know how, though. Or if I even can. Mackenzie trails off to compose her thoughts. MACKENZIE But, you're right, its not gonna work that way. Forget it. They hate you right now. And for that I can almost hate them. But, I promise you they won't ever hurt you. Believe me. As long as you're with me, you're safe. I'll work this mess out, Alix. I'll make things right one way or another. Satisfied with Mackenzie's assurances, Alix's nods enthusiastically. ALIX Real recognize real, and real niggas don't speak! MACKENZIE What does that have to do with anything, baby? ALIX Nothing, really, just always wanted to say niggas. And with camera all around us, and hundreds of thousands of viewers watching our every move, I figured now was as good a time as any! Anyhoot, I gotta gets da steppin, 'cause the voices in my head are telling me to set the arena on fire. Wish me luck! MACKENZIE !!!! ALIX I'm kidding! Duh! They're only telling me to set Josh Matthews on fire. Escalater! Alix gives Mackenzie a quick peck on the lips, and pets the baby ferret on the head. She then runs off to presumably give the little used interview personality third degree burns. And HeldDOWN fades into oblivion at least until someone else submits a segment. The camera cuts to The Lightning Crew dressing room where Stephen Joseph Popick is standing with The Mad Cappa. The crowd boos loudly. Popick is wearing a white dress shirt, a gray sports jacket, a gold chain around his neck, his eyeglasses, a watch on his right wrist, beige pants with a leather belt, and black dress shoes. He holds the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. Popick paces back and forth while Cappa just stands still. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK All right. Tonight is a big night for you. This--this is it. This is what you've been waiting for. This is the night you've been looking forward to since March 10, 2003. This is the day you've been dreaming about these past four years. This is the night you get rid of Tha Puerto Rican forever! The night where you rid the OAOAST of The P.R. Menace PERMANATELY! The night where you do all of us a favour and take out Tha Puerto Rican for good. Now, I want you to remember. Remember...all the rotten things that PRL has done to you. I want you to remember all the lying, cheating, backstabbing he has pulled on you and other people! I want you to remember all the viciousness, all the hatred, all the RAGE you feel towards him! I want you to remember the night of May 27, 2003. The night he CRUSHED your larynx! The night he nearly ended your career! The night he put you in a hospital for three months and doctors told you you would never wrestle again! I WANT YOU TO REMEMBER ALL THE ANGER, ALL THE RAGE YOU FELT BECAUSE ONE MAN, JUST ONE MAN, NEARLY TOOK YOUR WRESTLING CAREER AWAY FROM YOU! I WANT YOU TO REMEMBER ALL OF THAT-- THE MAD CAPPA I REMEMBER POPICK! I remember! I remember. Oh boy do I remember! I remember each and every time Tha Puerto Rican and I crossed paths. I remember every little detail, no matter how insignificant it might be. I remember. I remember because that man has made my life a living hell for the past four years! Everywhere I go, when people talk about me, they talk about HIM. They talk about how our matches made BOTH of our careers. How I am somehow interwined with Tha Puerto Rican now and forever. I can't escape it. No matter what I do, or who I fight, or what I accomplished, the one thing people always seem to remember the most about me are my matches with PRL. Well, if that's the way it's gotta be, then that's the way it's gotta be. If these people only want to remember my matches with PRL, then I'll give them one hell of a memory tonight! Yeah, I'm going to make sure that this is the absolute last time Tha Puerto Rican and I will EVER have a match against each other! The last time EVER. As in, never again! Why? Because tonight is the night where I END THA PUERTO RICAN'S CAREER ONCE AND FOR ALL! POPICK That's exactly the kind of talk I like to hear! Now, go out there, kick Tha Puerto Rican's candy ass, and get one in the 'W' column. Remember, you're not just representing yourself, you're not just representing The Lightning Crew, you're representing me. And I don't like to be represented by losers. I just recently kicked a loser out from my group. I don't want to have to do it again. So don't disappoint me, Cappa, all right? Because if I'm disappointed...well...well then you won't like me very much tomorrow. CAPPA I will not let you down, Popick. You can count on me. I will get the job done tonight. I promise you. POPICK Good. Good. I hope you're right. Don't disappoint me. The Mad Cappa nods his head. He turns to walk away, but his left arm is grabbed by Popick. POPICK I mean it. Do. Not. Disappoint. Me. The Mad Cappa looks worried for a second. But he quickly shakes it off. He nods his head again. Popick has an evil grin on his face. Cappa opens the door to The Lightning Crew dressing room and exits the room. Popick chuckles and follows him. The crowd boos loudly. POPICK WOO! Cut to a black screen. The Mad Cappa's head appears on the screen in black and white. The Mad Cappa has a cocky smirk on his face. Under him appears the words THE MAD CAPPA in big red blocky letters. Tha Puerto Rican's head then appears on the screen in black and white. Tha Puerto Rican has The McMahon SNEER~! etched on his face. Under him appears the words THA PUERTO RICAN in big red blocky letters. Cut to another black screen. The following words appear on the screen in big red blocky letters: A RIVALRY RENEWED OAOAST THE YEAR OF LIVING ANGLELOUSLY APRIL 25, 2004 A RIVALRY RENEWED FADE TO BLACK * COMMERCIAL BREAK *

"And now, the OAOAST Backtracker! Brought to you by Mountain Dew: Hey, you've gotta drink something!" "That was the OAOAST Backtracker." COACH When did Mountain Dew change their slogan? COLE You just saw last week, both Zack Malibu and Bohemoth making their intentions very clear to each other regarding the World Heavyweight Championship. Zack and Bohemoth finding themselves very much in the same boat after the outcome of the Triple Decker Cage Match, both knocked down the pecking order when it comes to the World Title and both determined to get another shot. But it was Bohemoth, basically calling Zack on his intention to go to the ring and call out Popick last week, that lead to a little unoffical 'competition' being struck up between the two. As Cole is still talking, the solemn guitar intro to "Loser" by Beck begins to play in the background. Which, presumably means Los Conquistadors are on the way to the ring, even though we can't actually SEE them. COACH Yeah, Bohemoth pretty much told Zack to... well, to put it into cliché terms, "put up or shut up". And Zack went out and 'put up' that same night. COLE That he did, with a very quick victory over one half of Los Conquistadors. Which leads us to tonight, with Bohemoth set to be in action against the other half of the Conquistadors, with I suppose ground to make up after Zack answered his 'challenge' so emphatically in Tacoma. COACH Heh...it's getting interesting already. COLE Let's go to the ring... *DINGDING!* BUFFER This contest, scheduled for one fall! In the ring, from Santa Fe, New Mexico by way of Tijuana, Original Mexico... CONQUISTADOR DOS!! "Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby, So why don't you kill me?" The sound of 14,000 shotguns being cocked echoes through the arena as Los Conquistadors raise their fists defiantly in the air in the ring. COACH Got a stopwatch handy? *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" If Los Conquistadors didn't walk through life with a permanent sinking feeling as it was, they'd certainly be getting that sinking feeling the moment "Liberate" powers through the PA system. Through the entrance storms Bohemoth and the crowd erupt again, as he power-walks to the ring. BUFFER And his opponent... hailing from Greenville, South Carolina. He weighs two hundred, eighty four pounds... "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHEEEEEMMOOOOOOOOTTHHHHHHH!!!! Bo slides into the ring and as Los Conquistadors close on him, wastes no time trying to tell which Conquistador is which, instead settling for destroying BOTH of them with a Double Clothesline! COLE *DINGDINGDING!* Off come the orange-tinted shades as the bell sounds, Bohemoth catching the first Conquistador to his feet with a BIG boot to the side of the head! The Conquistador drops to the canvas in a heap, leaving his partner all alone with big Bo. To his feet, the Conquistador that we can only assume is Dos gets whipped across the ring, into the turnbuckles. Bohemoth then charges in after him and crushes him with a big clothesline! COACH Is this even the right Conquistador? COLE Does it matter!? Out of the corner staggers Dos, right into the waiting arms of Bohemoth, taking him up and emphatically down with a Front Spinebuster! COACH I guess not. Pressing his hand on the gold PVC bodysuit, Bo tells the referee to count... 1... 2... 3!! *DINGDINGDING!* COLE I don't know how that compares for time, but Bohemoth, every bit as dominant as his friendly rival last week! BUFFER Here is your winner... BOOOOOOO - HHHHHHEEEEEEEEMMMOOOOOOOOOTTHHHHH!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" "Liberate" hits again, but not to celebrations from Bohemoth. As the referee decides trying to raise Bo's hand without permission might not end well for him, he just points to him and announces him as the winner, as if confirmation were needed. Bo doesn't appear to be done however. The other Conquistador is beginning to get to his feet, unaware that Bohemoth is right behind him. Thumbs Up. THUMBS DOWN~! COLE Oh dear. Scooping Uno up like a baby, Bohemoth parades his hapless opponent around a little, before swinging him around... ...out... ...and DOWN~! COLE Erotic Awakening Of B!! Bo looks up at the referee, placing his hand on Uno's chest much like Dos and needing to say no more... 1... 2... 3!! *DINGDINGDING!* "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COACH Wait, that wasn't even an official match! COLE Because I'm sure a seperate entrance and another bell would have made the world of difference to Conquistador Uno's chances. "Liberate" hits for a second time, with Bohemoth standing between the fallen bodies of both of Los Conquistadors. Kneeling down, Bo picks his orange-tinted sunglasses back up off of the canvas and calmly places them back on his head as he leaves. COLE I think you could have gone all the way up to Conquistador Nueve and they wouldn't have stood a chance! As we watch Bo leave, the cameras cut to the backstage area, where ZACK MALIBU has apparantly been watching all of this on one of the many monitors backstage. Zack glances at his watch, before looking back at the monitor with a wry smile on his face. COACH I think that's, as the kids would say, +1. COLE Bohemoth certainly impressive tonight. The markers have been set in the race back to the top! The camera cuts to the backstage area where The Mad Cappa is shown arriving at the arena. The crowd boos loudly. Cappa is already in his ring gear and is carrying black bags. He has a scowl on his face. COLE And there is The Mad Cappa! Later on tonight, he will hook up with his old rival Tha Puerto Rican in an one-on-one contest! Stephen Joseph Popick has alot riding on this one! You can bet he will be watching! The camera cuts to the OAOAST HeldDOWN~! interview set where Josh Matthews is standing by. JOSH MATTHEWS Josh Matthews here, waiting to do an interview with Tha Puerto Rica-- Suddenly, Tha Puerto Rican appears on screen. The crowd cheers loudly. THA PUERTO RICAN Josh, The Mad Cappa's candy ass belongs to Tha Puerto Rican tonight! And that's all I got to say about that! PRL walks away. Josh stands there, puzzled for a second. The crowd cheers. J. MATH Uh...thanks P.R. I think. Josh continues standing there puzzled. COLE Folks, we'll return with more HD after this. Cut to a black screen. The Mad Cappa's head appears on the screen in black and white. The Mad Cappa has a cocky smirk on his face. Under him appears the words THE MAD CAPPA in big red blocky letters. Tha Puerto Rican's head then appears on the screen in black and white. Tha Puerto Rican has The McMahon SNEER~! etched on his face. Under him appears the words THA PUERTO RICAN in big red blocky letters. Cut to another black screen. The following words appear on the screen in big red blocky letters: A RIVALRY RENEWED OAOAST BLOODY, BATTERED AND BEATEN DECEMBER 29, 2003 A RIVALRY RENEWED FADE OUT COMMERCIAL

As we return from commercial break the big man, Bohemoth, sits backstage taping up his wrists as we return to this edition of HeldDOWN~! The Metrosexual Monster is prepared for battle tonight, the next chapter in his ongoing "competition" with fellow superstar Zack Malibu. As Bo readies himself for the upcoming match, Malibu walks into the room, causing Bo to get up and shake the hand of his peer. MALIBU What's going on, big man? BO Just getting ready for my match, ready to show you how I do things tonight. MALIBU Oh, I look forward to it....but, uh, you know Bo...they won't all be like this. Bo smiles slyly. BO No, no they won't. It's only gonna get tougher from here on out. MALIBU You're down for that though, right? BO Who challenged who here, Malibu? MALIBU Ease up, big man...I'm not here to get under your skin. I told you, I'm down for proving myself all over again, to you and to everyone else. I was never given a handout at any point, and I'm not about to take them now. The Conquistadors are one thing, but sooner or later it's gonna be crunch time. It's gonna be the Todd Cortez's and the Landon Maddix's and the Alfdogg's and whoever else gets thrown in the way. You and me, we're both out for the same thing, and sooner or later we're not going to have to worry about anybody else except each other. Bo hears Malibu loud and clear, and for a moment, things get a bit tense. BO Then I guess I'll see you when we get there. MALIBU You're damn right, big man. Good luck tonight. BO I think you better go wish that to the Conquistadors first, Preppy. Malibu and Bo chuckle at the wisecrack, and Malibu pats the big brute on the shoulder before heading off, leaving Bo to finish getting ready as we cut to break. COMING UP NEXT DOS' LAST STAND? Bohemoth Vs Dos NEXT Cut to a black screen. The Mad Cappa's head appears on the screen in black and white. The Mad Cappa has a cocky smirk on his face. Under him appears the words THE MAD CAPPA in big red blocky letters. Tha Puerto Rican's head then appears on the screen in black and white. Tha Puerto Rican has The McMahon SNEER~! etched on his face. Under him appears the words THA PUERTO RICAN in big red blocky letters. Cut to another black screen. The following words appear on the screen in big red blocky letters: A RIVALRY RENEWED OAOAST INTENSEZONE MAY 27, 2003 A RIVALRY RENEWED Fade To Black COMMERCIAL

A rather fine show.

YAAAAAAY! SF!

THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD The opening credits, featuring greyish blue-shaded images of various OAOAST superstars in victorious poses flashes along the screen, set to the new and much, much, much improved themesong, Ultimate Victory by Chamillionaire. As if it finishes proclaiming the greateness of the OAOAST superstars we fade to the logo..... We're taken into the arena, directly to Sofa Central, where the orange polo clad announcers, Michael Cole and The Coach lean off the leather couch, eager to welcome us to tonight's events. COLE Ladies and gentlemen thank you for joining us here on HeldDOWN! We are live from Tacoma, Washington, and as the year winds down, the intensity heats up. There's quite a bit of action to see tonight so let's get right to it! Renegade hits, and Reject makes his way through the curtains, to the boos of the crowd, followed by the Burrough Boys. COLE And the International World champion making his way to the ring! COACH And you know he's got a lot of interesting things to say, Cole! COLE Reject coming off of a successful defense of his title at November Reign, defeating Denzel Spencer! Reject steps into the ring and raises his belt in the air, then grabs a mic from ringside. REJECT First I need to get something off my chest. The OAOAST scheduling manager is really scraping the bottom of the barrel lately. Who the hell books a live HeldDOWN~! from Tacoma, Washington? *crowd boos* REJECT Here I am, waiting to gloat about my successful title defense at November Reign, and we get a run of shows in the Pacific Northwest to do it in? Although, I guess, Washington does deserve some consolation, since they're about to lose all their pro basketball teams... *crowd boos* REJECT Boy, that Oklahoma City is picking up some REAL winners. *crowd boos* REJECT Anyway, I am, in fact, here to discuss my victory at November Reign. I have to admit, without the BIAS of OAOAST officials working against me, I thought my match with Denzel Spencer would be a cakewalk. But he actually gave me a hell of a match. Reject turns and looks at the Burrough Boys, who start to give sarcastic rounds of applause. REJECT Yes, this Spencer has a bright future here in the OAOAST...but unfortunately, this is the present. And you don't stand a chance. *crowd boos* REJECT You know, I can't wait for the College Football bowl season. Specifically, I'm looking forward to the Sugar Bowl, where the Hawaii Warriors will STOMP the Georgia Bulldogs into dust. You see, I can relate to Hawaii, because all the major universities were afraid to play them during the regular season. And that's the same problem I have. Popick, Zack Malibu, Landon Maddix, Tha Puerto Rican, all these so-called "main-eventers"...they're all SCARED. And that's why I run into the problems I do... Je t'adore, Je t'adore... Girls, Girls, Girls plays, and Felix Strutter walks through the curtains, followed by Deon Black. COLE And what do we have here? COACH Oh, this ought to be REAL good! Strutter and Black climb into the ring, and Strutter gets another mic. STRUTTER Okay, look. Do you have a point to make out here? Because if I want to listen to shitty college football breakdowns, I'll turn on ESPN and listen to Lou Holtz. Reject smirks, then raises the mic up again. REJECT Let me guess...you're out here to answer my challenge for more competition. STRUTTER I'm not out here for your insight on the Chick-Fil-A bowl. REJECT Okay then. Tell me, what makes you a more worthy contender than Denzel Spencer? STRUTTER It's really simple when you think about it. You say none of the big names will challenge you? Well, it don't get no bigger than Felix Strutter. *crowd boos* STRUTTER You can rank my body of work this year with anyone in this fed. Just ask your former partner, Thunderkid! REJECT OK, that's all well and good. You beat Thunderkid a couple times. You rode Alf's coattails to a couple Heartland titles. And that should somehow entitle you to a shot at MY title? After you've lost to Sandman9000 on three consecutive PPVs? *crowd cheers, as Strutter is visibly upset.* STRUTTER Enlighten me, then. What's the secret to beating Sandman? *pause* STRUTTER Oh, that's right...you don't know, because you were too busy getting your own ass kicked three weeks ago! *crowd cheers, as Reject walks in a circle in the corner, then walks towards Strutter.* REJECT None of that matters. Because when it comes down to it, you're just like Denzel Spencer. Maybe you're the future of the OAOAST, but right now...(Reject pokes him on the chest with each word)...YOU...DON'T...MATTER. Strutter puts his head down, then picks it back up and starts to speak again. STRUTTER I agree with you to an extent...I do have a bright future here. And the future...IS NOW! With that, Strutter SPITS in Reject's face! COACH Oh my... Reject fumes, then as Strutter turns to leave, Reject blindsides him with his belt! COLE And Reject with a cheapshot on Felix Strutter! Deon Black then strikes, grabbing Reject around the throat and trapping him in the corner! The crowd cheers the big man on, as the Burrough Boys move in. Black turns and lets out a yell. BURROUGH BOYS OH SNAP~! The Burrough Boys scatter, then jump out of the ring and run away through the crowd! Reject slides out of the ring, as Medal hits, and the cheers of the crowd shower Anglesault as he comes to the ring. COLE Here comes the boss! Anglesault steps into the ring, and grabs the mic that was being used by Strutter off the mat. ANGLESAULT My my my...this is an interesting development! I think the great fans of Tacoma would like to see this one play out! *crowd cheers* ANGLESAULT So here's what I'm going to do. Tonight, I'm going to make a match, for the International World title, featuring Reject, and Felix Strutter! *crowd cheers* COACH WHOA~! ANGLESAULT But there's a couple other things I noticed listening to you guys. Reject, you seemed awfully confident that you could beat Denzel Spencer anytime you want. Reject reluctantly nods his head. ANGLESAULT Good. Then that means you wouldn't have any problem with facing him one more time, which is great, because also in the match, will be Denzel Spencer! *crowd cheers* ANGLESAULT Also...a certain individual was brought up in the discussion, who holds two victories on HeldDOWN~! over you, Reject, and three victories at consecutive PPV events over you, Felix Strutter! The crowd roars, as they know who Anglesault is referring to. ANGLESAULT And judging by that, that would certainly warrant that individual a shot at the International World title! So, the fourth and final participant in tonight's main event, will be...SANDMAN9000! *crowd roars* ANGLESAULT Now then...I'll let you two go to the back, because you have a match to prepare for. But I need to speak to this big man right here. Anglesault turns his attention to Deon Black, as Reject angrily walks back to the dressing room, and Strutter hangs around to see what he has to say. ANGLESAULT Felix has a match to get ready for...but as for you, you need to get ready to return to your hotel room. The crowd cheers, as Anglesault waves to the back, signaling a hoard of police officers to the ring. ANGLESAULT Your actions at November Reign were totally unacceptable, and has left an OAOAST referee in the hospital. So, it is my decision, after nearly two weeks of deliberation, that you are suspended indefinitely from the OAOAST! The crowd cheers, as Black starts to go after Anglesault, who goes into a fighting stance. Strutter leaps onto the back of Black, talking into his ear, until Black calms down. ANGLESAULT Get him out of here! Strutter is talking to him the whole time as the cops handcuff him, needing two pairs to reach both hands behind his back. COACH Look at that. One pair ain't gonna do it with this guy! COLE Wow, some monumental things going down on HeldDOWN~! tonight! Deon Black suspended, and a four-man main event, for the International World title!

*DING DING DING* (slow and dramatic) BUFFER LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen, this is the main event of the evening! Tonight, four of the top superstars in the OAOAST will clash in this very ring, for the International championship of the WORLD! ARE YOU READY? *crowd cheers* BUFFER Tacoma, Washington...ARRRRRRE YYYYYYOU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRREADY? *crowd cheers louder* BUFFER Then for the thousands in attendance here in Tacoma, and the millions and millions watching all over the world...there's only one thing left to say. Ladies and gentlemen...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRRREADY TO RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!![/i] *crowd cheers, as Buffer listens into his earpiece.* BUFFER And ladies and gentlemen, I have just been informed, that this match will feature NO DISQUALIFICATONS! COLE WOW. Je t'adore, Je t'adore... Girls, Girls, Girls hits, and the lights go out as Felix Strutter makes his way out amidst the pink strobes and smoke in the entryway. BUFFER Coming to the ring at this time, weighing in at 218 1/4 pounds! He is one of the fastest rising stars in the business today, a former two-time OAOAST Heartland champion, a former six-man tag team champion...Ladies and gentlemen, from San Diego, California..."AFTER HOURS" FFFFFFEEEEEEELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXX SSSSSSSTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! Strutter arrogantly walks to the ring, then slides through and poses on the buckles. Master Blaster (Jammin') hits, and Denzel Spencer walks to the ring, to a loud ovation. BUFFER Participant #2...weighing in at 226 1/4 pounds! He is another of the fast-rising stars here in the OAOAST, and looks to win his first singles title right here tonight! Ladies and gentlemen, from Montego Bay, Jamaica...DENNNNNZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPENCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRR!!!!! Spencer rolls into the ring and poses for the fans, who cheer in response. Suddenly, the lights dim, then begin going crazy, as if a virus has infected them, randomly jerking around the arena, frantically changing colors and turning off and on. It’s as if a bad anime scene has come to life. Loud scratching fills the airwave, as if a DJ has lost their mind and is attempting to break their equipment. In-between the rips, legitimate music kicks on, of a Southern, heavy metal nature. I ask you please just give us/ Five Minutes Alone.” The lights continue to dart and flash as the music leaves and the scratching continues, only to come back again, now of a hip-hop nature. White America/ I could be one of your kids.” The rap fades out and the scratching continues, at an even greater pace, until music comes back, now of a hardcore variety. Final Prayer/ Final prayer for the human race.” The music leaves once again and the scratches reach their apex, before the sound cuts out and the arena goes pitch black. A single spotlight appears on the stage, the only light in the darkened arena. People look towards the light, but see nothing. Then People = Shit by Slipknot hits. HERE WE GO AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER! The crowd goes insane as a figure punches through the curtains, wearing torn black jeans, a sleeveless black t-shirt, and two bandanas, one over his face and the other over his head. His hands are taped up, with a red "X" on the back of each of them. BUFFER Participant #3...weighing in at 219 1/2 pounds...one of the most legendary superstars in OAOAST history, and tonight, he looks for his first World championship! Ladies and gentlemen...from South of Heaven...he is the REIGNING OAOAST Heartland champion...SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEE E THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSANNNNNNNNNND!!!!! The crowd goes nuts as Sandman walks to the ring, then climbs in and rips the bandanas off. Renegade hits, as the lights go out once again, and Reject is showered by boos as he makes his way out. BUFFER Coming down the aisle, weighing in at an even 234 pounds! Ladies and gentlemen...from the Bronx...the OAOAST International champion of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJECT!!!!! Reject walks into the ring, and everyone gets into a corner as Reject hands the referee his belt, then they pair off! *DING DING DING* COLE Here we go! Denzel and Reject! Sandman and Strutter! Denzel and Reject battle it out in a corner, as Reject lays in CHOPS~! Meanwhile, Strutter goes to the eyes of Sandman, then whips him across the ring. Sandman ducks a clothesline, however, and hits one of his own! COLE Big-time clothesline from Sandman! Denzel reverses Reject in the corner, and hammers away, but Sandman attacks him from behind! COACH Look at this! COLE Every man for himself in there, Sandman going after Denzel now! Sandman rams Denzel into the buckle, then delivers some right hands, before Reject comes after him, but Sandman cuts him off with a foot to the gut. Sandman then whips Reject hard into a corner, catching him with a big backdrop! COLE And Sandman sending Reject high in the air! Sandman covers... 1... 2... Denzel saves, driving an elbow into the back of Sandman's head! COLE Denzel with the save, and let me remind all of you at home, the first man to score a pinfall or submission will be the NEW OAOAST International World champion! COACH And let's stress that, PINFALL or SUBMISSION! No disqualifications in this match! Strutter backs into the ropes, and catches Sandman from behind with a bulldog! Strutter stomps away, as Denzel hammers on Reject once again in a corner. Strutter then backs into the ropes, and knocks Sandman to the floor with a baseball slide! COLE And Sandman to the outside! Strutter goes under the ring, and comes out with a steel chair! COACH Felix has a weapon! Strutter hammers Sandman on the back with the chair, as Reject takes the advantage on Denzel inside the ring. He hits a gutwrench suplex, followed by a kneedrop to the sternum! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! On the outside, Strutter charges Sandman with the chair, but gets it kicked back into his face! COACH Oh no! COLE Felix Strutter tasting his own chair! Reject whips Denzel into the ropes, then catches him with a high dropkick! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Meanwhile, Sandman whips Strutter into the steel steps! COLE And Strutter tasting more steel on the outside! Denzel dodges a charge into the corner from Reject, then quickly scales the ropes. COLE Denzel Spencer going upstairs... Denzel comes off the top with a flying bodypress! He gets to his feet, and plays to the crowd, but gets floored by a Sandman clothesline! COLE And Sandman back inside! Strutter struggles his way to the top rope, and floors Sandman with a missile dropkick! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE You'll see a lot of these high-flying moves from the four men in this match! Denzel reverses an Reject Irish whip, and hooks him in a sleeper! However, Reject quickly counters with a jawbreaker! COLE Nice counter move by Reject right there, dropping down and sending Denzel's jaw into the top of his head! Reject hammers on Denzel, while Strutter continues to do so on Sandman. Sandman ducks another clothesline, however, and catches Strutter with a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COLE Great suplex by Sandman! Reject catches Sandman from behind with a German suplex! 1... 2... Kickout! Denzel tries to pick up Strutter, and catches a low blow for his efforts! COLE And a low blow from Felix Strutter to Denzel Spencer! Strutter then whips Denzel across, and catches him with a double leg clothesline! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Reject traps Sandman in the corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Sandman takes his arms down from the corner, as Reject delivers a third! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! COACH It's not having any effect, Cole! Sandman grabs Reject, and tosses him back into the corner, delivering rights downstairs, as Reject sinks in the corner. Sandman then executes BOOT SCRAPES~! on Reject, as Strutter and Denzel have made it to the outside. Strutter slams a chair across the back of Denzel! COLE And more steel brought into play, down across the back of Denzel! Sandman whips Reject across the ring, and puts his head down, allowing Reject to catch him with a swinging neckbreaker! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Strutter delivers another shot with the chair, then tosses it to the ground. He rolls Denzel back inside, as Reject chokes Sandman across the middle rope. Reject then pushes Sandman to the outside, and follows him out to the aisle, where he delivers right hands, then attempts a piledriver! COACH Uh-oh, Reject's going for a piledriver on the floor! However, Sandman blocks, and backdrops Reject onto the concrete! COLE But no, it's Reject who eats the concrete! Meanwhile, Denzel catches Strutter with a dropkick as Strutter comes off the top rope! COACH And Felix Strutter gets caught inside! Sandman makes his way back to the ring, as Denzel covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Sandman grabs Denzel, and delivers a foot to the midsection, as Reject pulls Strutter to the outside, but Strutter catches him with a thumb to the eye. Sandman whips Denzel into the ropes, and catches him with a flying forearm! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Strutter grabs the ring steps, and charges Reject with them, but Reject executes a drop toe hold, sending Strutter face-first down into the steps! COLE And there's a nice counter by Reject! Reject then rams Strutter into the guardrail, before grabbing the steps himself and dropping them onto the back of Strutter! COACH DAY-UM~! COLE Strutter has those steps dropped right on his back! Sandman has Denzel set up for a crucifix bomb, as Reject picks up the steps once again. This time, he waits for Strutter to get to his feet, but when he does, he dropkicks the steps, knocking them down on top of Reject! COACH OH! Denzel manages to get to the buckles, kicking off of them, and catching Sandman in a small package! 1... 2... Kickout! Sandman whips Denzel into a corner, and charges...but Denzel gets his feet up! Meanwhile, Strutter drops Reject sternum-first onto the guardrail! Strutter delivers some right hands, but Reject reverses an Irish whip, sending Strutter crashing into the timekeeper's area! COLE And we may have people hurt over at the timekeepers' table... As Denzel works over Sandman's knee in the ring, Reject reaches under the ring, and grabs a KENDO STICK~! COACH Uh-oh...they may not be the only people! Reject raises the stick in the air, and hammers Strutter in the back! Meanwhile, Denzel has applied the CARRIBEAN CRAB~!!! to Sandman in the ring! COACH Look at this! COLE Denzel with a submission hold! Will Sandman submit? Reject stops to pose for the crowd, but gets nailed from behind with the ring bell by Strutter! COLE But Felix Strutter coming right back, showing great resolve! Strutter tosses the bell down, then slides in and clotheslines Denzel, breaking his hold on Sandman. COLE Felix Strutter breaking up that submission hold, which Denzel likes to call the Carribean Crab! Strutter stomps away on Denzel, then tosses him to the outside, as Reject slowly climbs to the top buckle. COACH Uh-oh, this could be it, Cole! COLE Could it be that big elbow of Reject? COACH No, Sandman's getting up! Sandman limps over to the corner, and knocks Reject's feet from under him, racking him on the top rope! Sandman follows him up, as Denzel and Strutter battle in the aisleway. COACH These guys better not get too far from the ring here! Sandman climbs to the top rope, and takes Reject down with a SUPERPLEX~! COLE Superplex from Sandman! This is it! 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! COLE But Reject JUST does escape! We almost had a new champion right there! COACH I don't know how much longer he has, though! Denzel and Felix better get back in there! Denzel delivers a spinkick, sending Strutter over the guardrail and into the crowd! COLE They're getting REALLY far away from where they need to be now! Denzel hammers Strutter in the crowd, as Sandman hammers on Reject in the corner in the ring. Denzel shortly tosses Strutter back into the aisle, and they make their way back to the ring. Denzel tries to ram Strutter into the steps, but Strutter blocks and counters. Meanwhile, Reject gouges the eyes of Sandman, then hops onto his shoulders and executes a HURRICANRANA~!, hooking his legs as he reaches the mat... 1... 2... Kickout! COACH We've got a lot of close falls in the ring here! Reject gets to his feet, then scales the top rope...and hits a MOONSAULT TO THE OUTSIDE, taking out both Denzel and Strutter! COLE Reject FLYING to the outside! What a risk to take at this point in the match, but it's paid off bigtime! Sandman slowly rolls to the outside, still with a slight limp, as he delivers some stomps to Strutter, then tosses him inside and works over Reject. Denzel slowly gets to his feet, and assists Sandman. Denzel holds Reject back for some body shots from Sandman, but that's broken up in a hurry as Strutter grabs Denzel by the hair and starts to drag him back inside. However, Sandman delivers a right to Strutter, then grabs Denzel back for himself. Reject rolls back inside, and Strutter pounces right away. COLE Wow, what action we're seeing in this match for the International World title! Sandman and Denzel slug it out on the floor, as Strutter attempts an Irish whip, but Reject reverses, drops down, then catches Strutter with a spinning wheel kick! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Kickout! Reject picks up Strutter, and attempts a back suplex, but Strutter slides behind the back, and catches Reject with an ENZIGURI~! COLE And an enziguri from Felix Strutter, after escaping the suplex! Sandman then catches Strutter with a clothesline! Sandman chokes away on the mat, as Denzel returns to the action to hammer on Reject. Strutter reverses an Irish whip, sending Sandman into the corner, then catches him with a Dynamite Kid-style clothesline! COACH Whoa! COLE What a hard clothesline by Strutter there! Meanwhile, Denzel reverses a TOMBSTONE~! attempt by Reject, and drills him with a TOMBSTONE~! of his own! COLE Reject hit with a tombstone! 1... 2... NO! Strutter saves! COLE But Strutter there JUST in time for the save! Strutter goes back to work on Sandman, as Denzel hammers Reject in a corner. Strutter goes to the top, and jumps off...but Sandman sticks a foot up, and Strutter jumps right into it! COLE Sandman getting the foot up as Felix Strutter was coming off the ropes! Strutter retreats to the outside, as Denzel grabs Reject from behind, and gets kicked low as a result! COLE And a low blow by Reject inside, as Sandman and Strutter go at it again on the outside! Reject stomps away on Denzel, as Strutter goes to the eyes of Sandman, then grabs some TV cable and wraps it around Sandman's throat! COLE Felix Strutter trying to choke the life out of Sandman with that TV cable! Strutter rolls Sandman back inside, as Denzel blocks an Reject suplex, and executes one of his own! Strutter hits a kneedrop on Sandman, and covers... 1... 2... Sandman gets a foot on the rope! COLE Sandman getting his foot out! Strutter chokes Sandman some more in the corner, then makes his way over to Denzel. Reject works his way to his feet, then goes after Sandman in the corner. Denzel whips Strutter into the ropes, and drops down, then Strutter ducks a clothesline, and catches Denzel with a bodypress! Denzel tries to catch him, but can't hold on, and both men go tumbling over the top to the floor! COACH Whoa! COLE Quite a spill for Denzel and Strutter! Reject attempts an Irish whip on Sandman, but Sandman counters...and sets a foot to the gut! COLE Sandman could be setting up the Archangel's Wings! Sandman hooks the arms...but Reject spins out, and hits the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 COLE EULOGY! Reject covers... 1... 2... NO! Denzel makes the save! Strutter sneaks in with the chair, and BLASTS Denzel from behind! COLE BIG shot from Felix Strutter! Look at the pain going through Spencer's body! Strutter then delivers a shot to Reject! He pushes Reject to the outside, then goes back after Denzel. He backs Denzel into a corner, and hammers him with right hands, as Sandman struggles to his feet. Sandman limps over to the corner, and attacks Strutter from behind. He whips him across to the opposite corner, and follows him in with a big clothesline! He then picks up Denzel, and scoops him up. COLE Sandman looking for a big slam here... However, Strutter comes from behind with a chop block, but it puts Denzel on top! 1... 2... Strutter saves! COACH And Felix Strutter almost cost himself the match with that move! Denzel and Strutter stomp away on Sandman, eventually knocking him outside the ring. Strutter then goes right to work on Denzel, raking his eyes and whipping him into the ropes, hitting him with a high dropkick! He then picks up Denzel and hits a back suplex, then points to the top rope. COLE And now Felix Strutter looks to be going for that shooting star legdrop! Strutter scales the ropes, but then Denzel gets to his feet, and grabs Strutter, who tries to beg off, but Denzel launches him into mid-ring! COLE But Felix gets caught, and now he's hurting! Denzel grabs Strutter in a front facelock, then signals to the crowd. COACH Uh-oh... COLE And Denzel going for the Carribean Compactor~! However, before he can set up, Sandman is back in, and he grabs Denzel from behind, takes him over with a snapmare, and delivers a seated dropkick! Denzel rolls to the outside. COLE Sandman is back, and Denzel to the outside! Reject is just coming to on the outside, and he grabs the kendo stick once again, as Strutter delivers a low blow to Sandman on the inside. Once Denzel exposes his back, Reject starts to hammer away! COLE Reject back to his senses, and he's laying it into Denzel with that kendo stick! Reject raises the stick in the air, drawing another mixed reaction. Sandman has scaled the top rope from the inside...but when he jumps off, Reject catches him with the stick on the way down! COACH Sandman got caught! Denzel slowly rolls into the ring, as Reject hammers Sandman with the stick, then starts tearing apart the Spanish announce table. COLE Uh-oh... COACH What's Reject setting up here? Reject picks up Sandman, and rolls him onto the table. He delivers some forearm shots, then grabs the steel chair, and rolls back inside, delivering shots to the head of both Denzel and Strutter! COLE Steel chair to the skull of Denzel and Strutter! Reject then goes back outside, and drags a ladder out from under the ring, and sets it up, as the crowd begins to buzz. COACH Looks like Reject wants to come off that ladder! Sandman starts to stir, as Reject starts to climb. Sandman rolls over, then starts to climb the ladder himself. COLE Oh my... Sandman and Reject trade blows atop the ladder, with Sandman winning out. Sandman then grabs Reject, and picks him up, as both men fall in a heap THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE~! COLE Look at the CARNAGE~! Reject, Sandman both out! Denzel Spencer, Felix Strutter both out! The crowd applauds, as some chant "HO-LY SHIT~!" Finally, after several seconds, Denzel starts to stir, and Strutter is soon to follow. Denzel and Strutter slug it out from their knees, working their way to their feet, as Strutter gets the better of the exchange. Strutter backs Denzel into a corner with right hands, but Denzel turns him around and fires off rights of his own. Strutter reverses an Irish whip, and charges, but Denzel moves out of the way! Denzel then backs into the corner, playing to the crowd, and comes in with the handspring elbow...but Strutter moves out of the way! COLE Nobody home on the handspring elbow... ...suddenly, a figure hops out of the crowd, wearing a black hooded workout suit covering every inch of his body, and blasts Denzel in the back of the head with a flexbar! COLE Who the hell was that? COACH I don't know! Where did he come from? COLE He was dressed in all black, and he escaped back through the crowd, after nailing Denzel with something! Strutter picks up Spencer, hooks him, and drives him with the THUNDER BAY THROTTLE~!!!!!11111 COLE And Felix looking to capitalize! COACH Can this be happening? 1... 2... ... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COACH WHOA~! COLE It's over! We've got a new champion! BUFFER The winner of the match...and NEWWWWWWWWWWWW OAOAST International World champion..."AFTER HOURS" FFFFFFEEEEEEELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXX SSSSSSSTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! COACH WAY TO GO, FELIX! COLE Felix Strutter has done it! An unbelievable turn of events tonight, ending with "After Hours" Felix Strutter holding his first World title! Strutter takes the belt from the referee, and looks long into it, then gets to his feet and raises it in the air with his right hand, as the referee raises his left. COACH But who was that guy who came out of the crowd? Does he have a past with Denzel Spencer, or was he out here for Felix? COLE It's going to be a most interesting week next week on HeldDOWN~! But tonight we have a new International World champion! For the Coach, I'm Michael Cole, we'll see you next week! It's Felix Strutter's night! THE FUTURE IS NOW! Strutter holds up his belt in the entrance with a half-pained, half-cocky expression on his face, as we... FADE TO BLACK

Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime The most OTT intro in TV today plays as... The Enterprise presents... In association with the OAOAST and TSM REEL TALK Executive Producer Theodore Moneymaker Produced By Simon Singleton Casting Couch Ned Blanchard Security CPA Directed By Molly Nerdly MOLLY (Voice-Over) Reel Talk is filmed before a live studio audience. "BOOOOOOOOO *cannedapplause* OOOOOOOOOOO!" The curtain raises on the most expensive set in OAOAST Talk Show history once more as it's time for some Reel Talk. Clad in their best pastel blue suits, Ned Blanchard and Simon Singleton relax on their orange couches with a couple of beautiful plants ladies who are clearly very excited to be there. The duo seem oblivious to the fact they're on TV for a second or two, what with the hands being carrassed over their torsos. Not each other's hands you understand. Those of the plants... I mean ladies. Damnit. SIMON Ah! Good evening, welcome one and all to the classiest joint in town, for some more Reel Talk. I am of course the B.O.S.S, "Box Office" Simon Singleton, back for another edition of the show that truly is Reel-ality TV at it's best. And, Ned, who are those lovely ladies with us? NED Well it's funny you should ask, Simon. Let me introduce you to Ms. 1,841 and Mrs.... oh yes... 1,842. The girls giggle, apparantly more than happy to be two in the list of many pushing Ned on towards that elusive Wilt Chamberlain record. SIMON Wow. I guess that means that THIS is the real Love Shack. NED Does that sound like me, man? You know me better than that. You don't need to love The Handsome Hustler to shack up with The Handsome Hustler. In the end, they all leave the same way. Sore and satisfied. SIMON That'd make a great t-shirt. *holds hand over his earpiece* Mel, get on that. NOW, on with the show! As everybody knows, Reel Talk is where it's at. We get the big guests and we get the big scoops and boy, have we got one for you this week. A man who specifically requested a slot on this show. He didn't want some half-hearted effort with Gene Okerlund or Josh Matthews or... some other hack... does Randy Savage still work here? Not important. Let's just get our guests out. Co-commissioners of the SWF, Megan Skye and our favourite former World Heavyweight Champion... NED Crystal? SIMON No, the non-female one. NED Oh. SIMON LANDON MADDIX ladies and gentlemen! The canned applause machine goes into overdrive as Landon and Megan make their way onto the set, Landon admiring the luxurious set... and the ladies now leaving the set, their job as decoration safely carried out. Megan doesn't seem to appreciate that too much but appreciates the gentlemanly welcome from Simon and the VERY gentlemanly welcome from Ned. Landon shakes hands with the BHB too before waving to the studio audience, apparantly mistaking the canned applause for real applause. SIMON Landon, thanks for coming onto the show. LANDON Oh, no problem. You know, yours is the only show I'd ever dream of appearing on. That not at all rehearsed interchange ends with smiles all round. SIMON So, what brings you onto Reel Talk? LANDON Well, I've got some real talk to lay down on the OAOAST. See, New Year is approaching and the year of 2007 is coming to a close. This year truly has been the Year Of La Cucaracha, I don't think I'm stretching in saying that, but it's time to start thinking ahead. Time to start thinking about 2008 becoming Another Year Of La Cucaracha. I've got a lot to live up to and I've got a lot to accomplish. NED 2008 could be a real record-breaker, that's for sure. So, Megan... MEGAN Yes? LANDON (ignoring Ned and Megan) Taking over the SWF and becoming the first man in history to hold the World Titles of the SWF and the OAOAST in their career will never be forgotten. Now, I've got new goals. Top of the list, regaining the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. That's why I wanted to come on here tonight, to put everybody on notice. I'm offically throwing my name into the hat for the Lethal Rumble next year. Simon and Ned's eyebrows peak as they collectively realise the scoop they've got. LANDON I don't have many blots on my records but last year, the Rumble was one of them. I was close, and I mean, this close to putting that on the resume. First man to win the Clusterfuck and the Lethal Rumble. One elimination away. Next year, I intend on going that one better. When it comes to battle royals... *shrugs*... I dunno, I guess I've just got a gift. Two Clusterfuck victories over at the SWF, the Money In The Bank Battle Royal at AngleMania, another SWF battle royal win, last two of the Lethal Rumble. It's my match. And it doesn't matter who's in there with me. Nothing is going to stop me from going all the way this year, through 29 others, then on to AngleMania to get back my World Title. SIMON Well, unless we enter. NED Then again, we might be busy with a clusterfuck. LANDON Oh really? Because I'm sure we could keep a couple of spots open for you, if you're interested. Ned's starts to freak, before Simon leans over and explains where exactly the wires have gotten crossed. NED Heh... of course. SIMON Well, Landon, we appreciate you using us as your forum for that big announcement. And we wish you luck in the Rumble. LANDON Oh and I should also mention, Landon Maddix's Non-Denominational Winter Funtime Extravaganza, Wednesday 19th December. If you're in Iowa, why don't you come on over and see us. Not like there's much else to do there. NED (thinking aloud) I think number 863 came from Iowa. SIMON If you are number 863, by all means give us a call and let us know. Meanwhile, Landon, thank you, that's Reel Talk for another week. Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime Executive Producer Theodore Moneymaker Produced By Simon Singleton Casting Couch Ned Blanchard Security CPA Directed By Molly Nerdly © The Enterprise COLE Ned and Simon with ALL the hard-hitting questions, as usual. COACH What are you trying to imply? COLE Well, I wanted to hear a little more from Landon besides just that announcement. Like comments on the Triple Decker Cage and the Riot Act Pl... COACH That was weeks ago. Move with the times wouldya. That's what Ned and Simon do. They're trendsetters. That's Reel Talk. What's next? Exclusive footage that's what! December 5th 2007 The Mansion of Krista Isadora Duncan Los Angeles, CA Fade into the home's front hallway. We see Krista Isadora Duncan, outfitted in heavily destroyed jeans, and black hoodie with the word New York etched across the front, yammering away on her cellphone. Her seven year old daughter, Maya sits on the floor, working on some calculus problems simply for the fun of working on calculus. KRISTA Listen I already told you, I think you're a very wonderful woman, but I'm simply not ready for a serious relationship yet. Okay? Krista shuts her phone, and hastily thrusts it into Maya's hand. KRISTA If Martina Navratilova calls again, tell her I'm straight. Jesus, nine Wimbledon titles and all of a sudden you're Buddah's gift to vagina. Before Maya can protest Krista's rejection of the women's tennis legend there's a loud knocking on the door. That's of course followed by a brief staredown between Maya and Krista on who will answer it. Unsurprisingly, Krista looses their mini battle, and with lowered head drags herself towards the front entryway. Krista opens the door to see a young Latino man, handsome and tall, in a three piece suit, standing beside a woman in a fur coat, who looks like an older version of her. This sight is roundly displeasing to Krista, and she scowls her disgust and irritation. WOMAN Krista, my darling little angel! SLAM! MAYA Mom! You can't do that! KRISTA You're right. We need garlic, a silver cross, and a stake to drive through her heart. MAYA Come on, mom. While Krista rummages through a dresser for some Holy Water, Maya opens the door with excitement radiating off her face. MAYA (hugging the woman) Grandmother! WOMAN Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh. When my breasts sag lower then Deputy Dawg's ears, then maybe you can use the dreaded G word. Until then, you just call me Genevieve. MAYA Well, hi Genevieve. What'd ya bring me? KRISTA Maya! MAYA Mom, relax, I'm not concerned about the acquisition of material wealth, only the improvement of our gross national product, so that money may be distributed back towards the disenfranchised poor. So, yeah, what'd ya bring me? GENEVIEVE DUNCAN Oh nothing, except for the keys to a brand new Cadillac. Krista's mother pulls out the keys to the outrageous gift from her purse and drops them into Maya's eager hands. MAYA Cool! But I'm only seven! GENEVIEVE The same age your mother was when she rammed her little bicycle into the McDonalds to protest the American legal systems discriminatory treatment of The Hamburglar. Besides, its just a little power wheels type car. When you get older, I'll get you the real thing, and one those simple people with the funny hair and big lips to drive you around...Krista, what do you call them? I believed one used to carry your father's golf clubs... KRISTA Black people? GENEVIEVE Yes, black people! Ah, such a marvelous little invention they are. What would we do without them? Maya offers Genevieve a quick peck on the cheek, then runs outside to play with her new toy. KRISTA (annoyed) What are you doing here, mom? The other three horsemen of the apocalypse just left an hour ago. GENEVIEVE You are just too much for words, darling! I just got back from Vegas and I couldn't go a moment longer without seeing my little girl. KRISTA (nodding towards the suit clad man) Vegas, huh. I see you bought the jackass of spades along. GENEVIEVE Oh yes, I just have to introduce you to my little friend. Where are my manners? KRISTA Buried underneath your bed, with ten empty bottle of Valiums, your self respect, the rotting corpse of your first husband, and the shattered remnants of my tortured childhood I suppose. At that comment, Krista's mother feigns a small smile. GENEVIEVE Eduardo, this is my beautiful daughter, Krista. I don't mean to embarrass her but, she was the Jewish daily News cover Jewess of the year. Her in a bikini on Sandra Bernhardt's lap? Hot. Eduardo grabs Krista's hand and gives her a firm shake. EDUARDO I'm Eduardo Duran, charmed to meet you, finally. I see good looks run in your family. KRISTA Yep, right alongside twenty thousand dollars worth of plastic surgery, huh, mom? Look, Eduardo I'm sure you're a lovely gentlemen when you aren't seducing desperate liquored up cougars at three AM in the Greek isles casino, but unless the aforementioned family plastic surgeon has some revolutionary anti-aging techniques I haven't been privy to, you ain't my dad. So that means I'm on the hunt, I'm after you, And I'm hungry like the wolf. Are you picking up what I'm putting down, Duran Duran? Not wanting her daughter to KO her guest, Genevieve slides between the two before an explosive situation can erupt. GENEVIEVE Krista, knock it off. I'm not having an affair with him! He's much too old for me. KRISTA I forgot, you prefer your lover's after sex cigarette to be of the candy variety. EDUARDO You know, in my home country we like to show our mothers a little respect. KRISTA In your home country they hunt in packs and bury their food, what the fuck does that have to do with me, Ricky Ricardo? GENEVIEVE Krista! Eduardo, eager to calm the situation, soothes his voice into a pacifying tone. EDUARDO I believe we're getting off point. Far off point. I work for VH1, I happen to do a lot of creative work with them, and am responsible for many of their most popular programs. But we're always on the search for even better and even more amazing shows. And after very extensive talks with your mother, I believe we have what has to be a very intriguing offer for you. KRISTA If its Linda Hogan, then been there, done that, threw up for two days straight afterwards. EDUARDO Actually we, in conjunction with the OAOAST, want to offer you your own television show. KRISTA I'm sorry, what? EDUARDO As the entire world knows, with your recent breakup with Alix Maria Spezia, you've gone back on the market. And for a perfectly aged USDA prime steak like yourself to sit on the shelf any longer then need be is a crime we can't abide by. Since you came out the closet years ago, women across the globe have worshiped you as a goddess. And rightfully so. Even to this day, they're still lining up in hopes of having one magical moment with the queen of fitness. But with your special relationship with Alix, that's been all but impossible. Until now. Now what we find is there's a veritable gold rush to the golden beauty's heart, and VH1 and the OAOAST, want to be right there chronicling the action, with the brand new reality series The Look Of Love. KRISTA Speaking of look, you might wanna look in the mirror, because you got some crazy on your face! GENEVIEVE (rubbing Krista's shoulder) Hear him out, darling. EDUARDO Eight of the most gorgeous girls in the universe will compete for an opportunity most women would kill in cold blood to receive, an All-Access pass to your heart and to share in all the splendor of your superstar lifestyle. We will send twenty handpicked women to a mansion right up the street in the Hollywod Hills, you won't have to go anywhere, to compete for your heart. Each week there will be a variety of challenges designed to test how the women will adapt to your fast paced celebrity lifestyle. KRISTA Fast paced celebrity lifestyle? You mean snorting coke with Jared Leto? And pleading my latest DUI down to sixty hours of community service? EDUARDO We'll work on the challenges of course. We just want to see who can handle the competition from outrageous, and sometimes hotter groupies. Who can mesh with your fitness empire. Who can keep their cool around all your famous Hollywood friends. KRISTA I have friends?! EDUARDO And all you have to do is offer the women who give you that Look of Love, special fitness cards allowing them to remain in the home, and your heart. The women who don't get one, will be sent packing. In the end only one lady can get that Look Of Love from you. Krista scoffs at the idea, and turns to her mother with a disproving glare. KRISTA And, mom, you're okay with this? GENEVIEVE Of course I am, Krista. Of course I am. When you came over the house after Alix dumped you, you were crushed, you were in so many tears...I wasn't able to see it because I had a little lipo that day, but the maids told me you were. And I only want you to be happy, and get ten percent of your appearance fees as well. KRISTA What are mother's for. I don't get this whole want me to be happy thing. I didn't even think you actually liked me! GENEVIEVE Whatever gave you that impression?! KRISTA Well, the time I got a root perm, and you called me “pubic head.” GENEVIEVE Oh, honey, my obvious attempts to assassinate your character and lower your sense of self worth are done because I don't want you to ever feel prettier then me, not because I don't like you. I love all three of my children. KRISTA There's four of us. GENEVIEVE Four? What in the hell? What am I the bitch from one hundred and one dalmatians? I shoot em out like shrimp popcorn at an all you can eat red lobster in South Central. EDUARDO Well, Krista, what do you say, would you like to be the latest edition to the VH1's celebreality family? KRISTA Wow, that family includes a guy who supplies alcohol to an underage son hours before he crashes a Lamborghini going at ninety miles per hour, and a woman who's nick name in high school was DSL, for dick sucking lips, and its only slightly less crazy then my real family. GENEVIEVE What's your decision, darling? JADE (o.s) Krista, you have to do it! KRISTA Jade? Bursting from the doorway leading to the basement, is Jade Rodez, wearing blue overalls covered in splotches of green and red paint. Out of breath, she doubles her self over so she can regain the composure to speak. JADE Sorry, to interrupt. And really sorry for my appearance, I've been downstairs painting the dance studio. But, um hi, I'm Jade. Genevieve seems rather stunned by Jade's appearance, and gazes upon her with admiring, appreciative and outright curious eyes. Though she senses Jade's sudden uneasiness at this burning glare, Genevieve can't bring herself to break it. GENEVIEVE You're....Jade? Wow, well....wow. Amazing. You're even more beautiful in person then you are on television. Believe me. And your eyes they're...they're so blue, so vibrant. You are very beautiful young woman. Do you know that? Do you know honestly know that? JADE (blushing) Uh...thanks. Thank you so much! No one, really tells me that. KRISTA Yeah, mom she's straight...and so are you! Although Clara, my little sister, she says you're a big ol lez, but I say no that's just the way you walk. Anyway, this is Jade, she's been helping me around the house since Alix moved out. Jade, this is the reason I spend five hours a week in therapy. And this man is the reason my dad is currently loading his shotgun as we speak. JADE Krista, I overhead what they were talking about, and you have to do this. This is a great opportunity! Remember what we said about you needing to get over Alix? Well, the chance to do that just fell into your lap! KRISTA Actually to be more accurate it fell into my lap after my mother feel into his lap, if you know what I mean. Due to Jade being around, Genevieve manages to bite her tongue from a bitter comeback. JADE You have to do this, Krista! This is just too perfect. They're practically playing the dating game for you! This is exactly what you need. And if its produced by VH1 maybe I can meet Salt N Peppa! Oooh baby baby! Baby baby! Oooh baby baby! Baby baby! KRISTA Yeah, let's not turn this into High School Musical: Short Bus edition. Look, all I can say is that I'll think about it. EDUARDO (smiling broadly) And that's all we ask. We already have a list of women prepared for the show, and a house rented. And with the OAOAST's production department teaming with VH1's, we can begin filming as soon as next week. GENEVIEVE Make your decision soon, darling, I can only hold interest in one daughter at a time, and Clara just bought herself one of those...what did you call them again? KRISTA Black people? GENEVIEVE Yes, black people! And he talks, and is potty trained, and he even eats at the table. The little bugger thinks he's really people, its so adorable! Now come, come Eduardo, you can drive me to the dermatologist if you're lucky. KRISTA Going to get a little botox? GENEVIEVE Just going for my regular mold...why, do I need botox? KRISTA No not at....oh my god what's that thing on your face! It looks like it needs orange cones and police tape around it! How long have you had herpes, mom?!! JADE Stop, she doesn't have herpes. KRISTA It may not be herpes, or even herpes adjacent, but I bet its coming to the herpes family reunion! GENEVIEVE Give me a mirror! Give me a mirror, god damn it! KRISTA (laughing) Gotcha! Now, you better hurry along, mom, you still have young you haven't eaten yet Krista holds the door open, and rather impatiently ushers her uninvited visitors out. EDUARDO Get back to us soon. We look forward to working with you. GENEVIEVE (holding Jade's hand as though it were a precious jewel) Jade, its been a pleasure. I hope I can see a lot more of you. JADE It was great meeting you also! Finally Genevieve and her guest depart the mansion, permanently barred by a strong slam of the door by Krista. Jade, on the other hand, is all smiles, and gives Krista a big thumbs up over the proposed reality show. COLE Wow, Krista spends more time at home then she does in the OAOAST! COACH Man, you soft as hell. Who cares where she stays at, how's about her mama? Krista's mom has got it going on! I'd knock the dust up off that sixty year old pussy, no joke! COLE Folks, and more specifically, Krista, Krista's father and Krista's family's lawyers, please ignore the retard, he doesn't know the error of his ways. The camera cuts to the backstage area. Stephen Joseph Popick, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt slung over his left shoulder, is standing by. The crowd boos. Popick talks to someone wearing a black raincoat with a black hood on top. The camera only shows the mystery man from behind. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK So, you're ready? The man in the black raincoat nods his head. POPICK All right. I'm ready too! I can't wait to see the look on PRL's face when he sees you. He is going to FREAK OUT! HAHAHA! His career is almost over, man. His career is almost over. AND IT'S ABOUT TIME! Okay, let's go watch the match. It's coming up in a few minutes. Let's go. Popick and the mystery man walk away, Popick making sure to polish the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt as he walks away. The crowd boos. COLE Tha Puerto Rican's in action next! Commercials "LIGHTNING CREW!" The opening to "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts playing. The crowd starts booing. The AngleTron lights up with a picture of The Bone Thug posing in front of a grey background that has the words THE BONE THUG written on the right in big white blocky letters, and a Puerto Rican flag underneath that. Finally, the crescendo hits, and a lightning bolt hits the entrance stage as "No Chance In Hell" starts playing. *No chance (No chance) That's what ya got! (Ha! Ha! Yeah.) We're up against no machine too strong (Too strong) Pussy politicians buying souls for us are...PUPPETS! (Puppets!)* The entrance doors slide open, and through the smoke comes The Bone Thug. The crowd boos some more. Bone Thug is wearing a Puerto Rican flag bandana over his mouth and a Puerto Rican flag bandana on his head, so the only thing you see is his eyes. Bone Thug looks at the crowd, and then begins his walk to the ring. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a thirty-minute TV time limit. Introducing first, coming to the ring at this time. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 232 lbs. Representing The Lightning Crew. He...is...THEEEEEEEEEE BOOOONNNNNEEEEE TTHHHUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! COLE We are about to have a little bit of a family feud tonight! Two cousins, one loved by the fans, one hated, will collide one-on-one in the middle of the ring! Tha Puerto Rican battles his own cousin, The Bone Thug, in just a few moments! COACH The physical and mental dissection of Tha Puerto Rican will begin in earnest right now! The Bone Thug continues his walk to the ring. COLE PRL's life changed forever last week when he was kicked out of The Lightning Crew. And now this week, Popick has set it up so that PRL battles his own family one-on-one! COACH The Bone Thug, despite being in the OAOAST since February, has yet to have a chance to show his worth. Well, this is his shot. And what better time to do it than against the former leader of The Lightning Crew? COLE And I still can't believe it. FORMER leader? He's really the FORMER leader? COACH Well, after last week, anything is possible. COLE You're right, Coach, such as earlier tonight when Spanish Fly rejoined The Lightning Crew! COACH Go get 'em little Fly! COLE Will you stop? The Bone Thug climbs the ring steps. The Bone Thug enters the ring. Thug walks around the ring, raising his hands in the air. The crowd boos loudly. Bone Thug pulls down on the Puerto Rican flag bandana over his mouth, revealing the rest of his face. Thug says something in Spanish to the camera. COACH He still refuses to speak English, huh? COLE Yep. Bone Thug looks to the entrance. He has a look of ANGER on his face. COLE The Bone Thug wrestling for the first time on HeldDOWN~! in I don't know how long. Going up against Tha Puerto Rican one-on-one! COACH This is going to be great! Go get 'im Bone Thug! Make Stephen Joseph Popick proud! "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds dies down. Bone Thug looks at the entrance. The crowd is hot, buzzing in anticipation of Tha Puerto Rican's appearance. COLE You can cut the electricity with a knife folks! COACH Stop doing lame cliches. The lights go down in the arena. A Puerto Rican flag appears on the AngleTron. In big white blocky letters, the following words appear on the screen, with Tha Puerto Rican saying them: *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role '99" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and cheering. PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" throughout the song, while smoke fills the entrance stage and strobe lights appear on the entrance set. A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and out through the smoke comes Tha Puerto Rican. The crowds' cheers get louder. PR looks at the crowd with a smirk on his face. For the first time in a long time, Tha Puerto Rican is coming to the ring WITHOUT a white Lightning Crew T-shirt on his body. Instead, he is coming to the ring shirtless, showing off his killer physique. PRL snorts, and then begins his walk down the entrance ramp. BUFFER And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 220 lbs. He is one-half of The Badd Boyz. THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! COLE It is so weird to hear Michael Buffer announce Tha Puerto Rican without hearing 'The Corporate Champion' beforehand, but after last week, Tha Puerto Rican is The Corporate Champ no more! COACH Things are changing in the OAOAST, Michael Cole! I've said it more than once, but it's true! Things just keep happening around here! You can snap your fingers and something shocking will happen! We keep seeing them, like earlier tonight with Spanish Fly! COLE Indeed, the phrase 'Anything can happen in the One And Only AngleSault Thread' has taken on a whole new meaning in the past month or so! PRL stops to give the camera a "People's Eyebrow", and then continues his walk to the ring. Tha Puerto Rican climbs the ring steps and gets onto the ring apron. He looks at the crowd, and then enters the ring. He spins around; soaking in the fans' cheers while "Know Your Role '99" continues playing over the P.A. system. Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. The crowd is still cheering. The Bone Thug stares a hole through his cousin. COLE These fans have done a complete 180 on Tha Puerto Rican! At one time, he was one of the most despised Superstars in the One And Only AngleSault Thread. But now, he is one of the most popular! You could say he's The People's Champion now! COACH Let's not go there, Cole. PRL heads to a second turnbuckle and raises his hands. He then heads to another second turnbuckle and raises his hands again. PR hits a third second turnbuckle, and raises his right fist in the air and "smells the electricity" while a single spotlight shines on him ala The Rock. PRL does the same Rock pose on the fourth second turnbuckle, receiving cheers. COLE It's Cousin vs. Cousin on HeldDOWN~! Tha Puerto Rican is on his own! No more Popick! No more Lightning Crew! His only friend in the world is Colombian Heat! This situation completely different from the one PRL was in back in January, which just goes to show you how much things can change in just 12 months! COACH His whole life is different. He lost his girl, his Crew, his manager. Sure he got Colombian Heat, but that's not even a consolation prize isn't it? COLE I think PRL's whole mindset has changed. He's a different man, emotionally, mentally than he was before! COACH Definitely. But I somehow doubt that will help him in the end. COLE We shall see Coach, as our next match-up is about to begin in just a couple of moments! Tha Puerto Rican gets off the ropes, removes his sunglasses and earring, and then hands them to a ringside attendant while the lights go back on in the arena. PRL pulls on the top ring rope. The Bone Thug focuses on Tha Puerto Rican, never taking his eyes off of him. COLE This must be a little awkward. You're fighting your own family here. Your own blood! COACH So? Just because you're related doesn't mean you have to *like* each other! I have plenty of relatives that I hate! I wish I could have a match on HeldDOWN~! against my uncle! Matter of fact, let's bring them all in, have one, big, giant all-Coachman Battle Royal! COLE Actually having an all-Coachman Battle Royal sounds pretty cool. We gotta look into that! "Know Your Role '99" dies down. PRL stares directly at his cousin. The crowd is hot, chanting "P.R.!" already. Referee Brian Hebner pats down Tha Puerto Rican, and then pats down The Bone Thug. He gives the two of them last minute instructions, and then calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* "Cousin vs. Cousin" THA PUERTO RICAN vs. THE BONE THUG Tha Puerto Rican continues staring at The Bone Thug. The Bone Thug's expression is still a serious one. COLE And here we go. PRL squaring off against his own cousin, The Bone Thug. The first time PRL has fought a member of The Lightning Crew since November of last year when he fought Cuban Wall in a match which later turned out to be apart of a grand 'Conspriacy'! COACH Oh yeah. That was great. But that was fake. This...this is real. PRL ain't wearing a Lightning Crew T-shirt anymore. He really ain't a member anymore! COLE I know. It's still hard to believe. But it's true. PRL has a disappointed look on his face. He shakes his head. He says something to The Bone Thug in Spanish. Bone Thug responds in kind. COACH What's he saying? COLE I think he's saying how disappointed he is that The Bone Thug chose to stay with The Lightning Crew rather than side with him, being his relative and all. COACH Well, money is alot more enticing than blood. Think about it. PRL and Bone Thug get into a heated argument. Their faces get red. The crowd is hot, and getting hotter. Finally, The Bone Thug goes for a punch. Tha Puerto Rican ducks...and fires off with a punch of his own! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE And here we go! They've made physical contact! Tha Puerto Rican nails The Bone Thug with Rock-style punches to the temple in a turnbuckle corner to the crowd's delight! Punch! Punch! Punch! NOW KISS THAT LEFT! Punch! P.R. grabs The Bone Thug and rushes with him over to the opposite turnbuckle corner, slamming his head on the top turnbuckle pad! PRL then whips Bone Thug into the turnbuckle corner they were originally in. PR follows with a Stinger Splash! COLE Stinger Splash from The People's Champion! Puerto Rican gives Bone Thug an Irish whip into the ropes. He follows with a leapfrog, Bone Thug bounces off the ropes, into a reverse leapfrog, Bone Thug bounces off the ropes again, into an arm-drag from Tha Puerto Rican! Thug gets up, so PRL hits him with a dropkick to knock him down! COLE And one cousin is most definitely in control of the other cousin! PRL picks The Bone Thug up. He gives him a short-arm clothesline back down onto the mat! P.R. picks Bone Thug up again. He grabs him by his stringy black hair and rushes with him over to another turnbuckle corner where he slams his head on the top turnbuckle pad! PRL then proceeds to stomp a mudhole in The Bone Thug, not forgetting to walk it dry! Suddenly Thomas Rodriguez and Vitamin X enter the ring! COLE I knew they would eventually show up! The crowd boos loudly as Vitamin X attacks Tha Puerto Rican while Thomas Rodriguez roots him on! COACH Yeah! Get him X-Man! Get him! Vitamin X starts jukin' and jivin'. He starts doing the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, drawing boos. Punch. Punch. Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. Punch. BLOCKED! P.R. fires with left hands to the face of The Financial Consultant of The Lightning Crew! Punch! Punch! Punch! SPIT! Punch! Vitamin X goes down! COLE And PRL once again dominating The X-Man! PRL picks Vitamin X up. KICK WHAM CORPORATE NIGHTMARE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 COLE P.R. Nightmare! P.R. Nightmare! COACH He's back to that again? COLE Yep! The crowd pops loudly. Vitamin X is flat on his back. PR spots Thomas Rodriguez out of the corner of his eye. He lunges after him, but Thomas quickly escapes from the ring! However, this gives The Bone Thug the perfect opportunity to attack PRL from behind! COLE And The Bone Thug taking advantage of that little piece of interference! COACH Like a smart wrestler is supposed to! COLE I think a smart wrestler is supposed to *WRESTLE*, but I digress. The Bone Thug hammers away at Tha Puerto Rican! "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" COLE This crowd coming alive for Tha Puerto Rican! Bone Thug knees PR in the stomach, and then hits him with the CLUBBERIN'~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN'~! forearms. Thug whips Tha Puerto Rican into the ropes--PRL reverses--Bone Thug bounces off the ropes, into a belly-to-belly suplex from Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Great move by Tha Puerto Rican! PRL waits for Bone Thug to get up. When he does, he hooks him up for the LATIN SLAM! COLE Latin Slam! Latin Slam on Bone Thug! COACH Oh no! PRL gets right back up. He looks at the screaming crowd, smiles a cocky smile...and then kicks Bone Thug's right arm onto his chest. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE It's time! It could be time! COACH No! No! No! No! PR removes his right elbow pad-- CUBAN WALL ATTACKS PRL FROM BEHIND!!! COLE Damnit! Damnit! Again! Cuban Wall attacks PRL, stomping on him! This causes Brian Hebner to call for the bell. *DING DING DING* (3:02) COLE The Lightning Crew, once again, assaulting Tha Puerto Rican, just like last week! COACH And it's going wonderfully, unlike last week! Mr. Boricua enters the ring and he joins in on the beatdown! The Bone Thug slowly gets up, and he too beats down on Tha Puerto Rican! Even Thomas Rodriguez gets a few kicks in! Vitamin X is still knocked out on the mat. COLE The LC, The Lightning Crew in control of Tha Puerto Rican again! The LC pummel The P.R. Menace into a pile of mush...that is until Colombian Heat makes his way down the entrance ramp and into the ring! COACH Oh no! It IS a repeat of last week! COLE The other Badd Boy is in the ring now! Colombian Heat, his ribs taped up, still manages to beat the snot out of Cuban Wall! Heat then turns his attention to The Bone Thug, knocking him down with several punches to the jaw! Heat then goes to Mr. Boricua punching him enough to get the big guy dazed and confused! COLE Colombian Heat thinking about what happened earlier tonight! That's for damn sure! Heat hammers away at Mr. Boricua until he rests on the ropes. That's when Heat turns his attention to Thomas Rodriguez. Thomas begs off as Heat comes closer and closer to him. But his begging stops when he finds himself only an inch away from Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Uh-oh! Thomas is in trouble! Thomas turns around and practically craps his pants! Thomas doesn't even have time to beg off since Tha Puerto Rican starts punching him in the face immediately! COACH HE'S A REFEREE FOR GOD SAKES! PRL hits Thomas with Rock-style punches to the temple! Punch! Punch! Punch! NOW KISS THAT LEFT! Punch! Thomas goes down! PRL picks Thomas up and whips him into the waiting arms of Colombian Heat, who kicks him in the stomach, places him in a standing headscissors, hooks him up, and then lifts him up high into the air! COLE Is he really? Is he!? Colombian Heat looks at the crowd, looks at PRL, looks up at Thomas, and then looks at the other members of The Lightning Crew lying around. COLOMBIAN NECKTIE ON THOMAS RODRIGUEZ~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Colombian Necktie! Colombian Necktie on Thomas Rodriguez! COACH He's a referee! A REFEREE! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Colombian Heat smiles. He gets up and grabs the comatose Thomas Rodriguez and then throws him over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE And he lands with a sickening thud! COACH AAH! THOMAS! Colombian Heat goes back to punching on Mr. Boricua, while PRL punches Cuban Wall. Suddenly, Spanish Fly runs into the ring, wearing a white Lightning Crew T-shirt! He quickly attacks Colombian Heat from behind! COLE And there's Spanish Fly! The newest member of The Lightning Crew! COACH And look who's he attacking first! Heat and Fly engage in a slugfest! They trade lefts and rights in one corner of the ring! PRL, meanwhile, is punching Cuban Wall. COLE Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly! They're going at it! COACH Who's in control? COLE I can't tell! Heat and Fly exit the ring, still duking it out! The crowd is going nuts! PRL continues beating on Cuban Wall! The man in the black raincoat enters the ring! COACH Hey, look at this! The man in the black raincoat grabs Tha Puerto Rican and turns him around. KICK WHAM STUNNER! COLE Stunner! Stunner! Stunner on Tha Puerto Rican! PRL does a Rock-like oversell of the Stunner, doing a backflip before flopping down onto the mat! The crowd is stunned (no pun intended) by this latest sequence of events! COLE A Stunner on Tha Puerto Rican! He never saw it coming! COACH Wait, Mikey...who used to do the Stunner in the OAOAST? COLE Oh...you don't mean... The man in the black raincoat stands up, and removes his hood to reveal... THE MAD CAPPA!!!!!!!! COLE It's Cappa! The Mad Cappa is back! The Mad Cappa is back in the OAOAST! COACH But of course! Who hates Tha Puerto Rican more than The Mad Cappa does!? Think about all the battles that they've had! The crowd is shocked again! The Mad Cappa stands tall over Tha Puerto Rican. He has an evil smile on his face. The Mad One yells at Tha Puerto Rican. At this point, the fans shock turns to boos. COLE Are you telling me...The Mad Cappa is working for Stephen Joseph Popick!? COACH If this is what it takes to beat Tha Puerto Rican, then so be it! Cappa lays in the boots to the body of PRL! Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall soon join him! The Bone Thug gets up and joins them too! Vitamin X is up and he too gets in a few shots! Spanish Fly and Colombian Heat continue brawling on the outside! COLE I can't believe what I'm seeing! The Mad Cappa is working WITH The Lightning Crew AGAINST Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Things just get crazier and crazier here in the OAOAST! Cappa switches between beating and taunting Tha Puerto Rican. The entrance doors slide open, and Stephen Joseph Popick comes out, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt strapped around his waist, laughing maniacally. COLE And there he is! The mastermind! The reason Spanish Fly is back in The Lightning Crew! The reason The Mad Cappa is back in the OAOAST! COACH Everything that is old is new again thanks to Stephen Joseph Popick! Popick flashes his pearly whites as he comes closer and closer to the ring. SJP climbs the ring steps and enters the ring, applauding the destruction of Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Stephen Joseph must be ecstatic right now! He brought The Mad Cappa back into the OAOAST to destroy Tha Puerto Rican, and it looks like he's halfway there! Popick is indeed very ecstatic right now. He motions that he can't believe it. The OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion laughs maniacally. He then shakes The Mad Cappa's right hand and thanks him for accepting his invite back to the OAOAST. The crowd boos loudly. The Mad Cappa has an evil smile on his face. COLE I don't believe it! I mean, three years ago The Mad Cappa HATED Stephen Joseph Popick! And now this? They're working together? COACH They have a common enemy. That's what this is all about. Separately they are powerful, but together, they are UNSTOPPABLE! TMC sneers at PRL. Stephen Joseph Popick tells The Lightning Crew to stop beating on PRL. He calls for a microphone. Meanwhile, outside of the ring, Spanish Fly kicks Colombian Heat in the nuts, bringing him down to the ground. Fly taunts Heat and then enters the ring. COLE Colombian Heat and Tha Puerto Rican are down! The Lightning Crew is back in control! Popick has a microphone. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Oh! Oh! Oh my! Oh my! This--this is great! This is even better than I could ever imagine it to be! I mean, this is tremendous! People, people, give it up for the NEWEST member of The Lightning Crew, THE MAD CAPPA! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE I don't believe it. POPICK I am very, very glad that you have decided to finally join us, Cappa. And, as your first act as a member of The Lightning Crew, next Thursday night on HeldDOWN~!, you, Mad Cappa, will face someone you know so very well. Someone you have ALOT of history with. Someone whose name always ends up next to yours in conversations. Someone who irritates you as much as he irritates me. The Mad Cappa, next Thursday, you go one-on-one with THA PUERTO RICAN! COLE Whoa! PR/Mad Cappa next Thursday! COACH It's the renewal of a legendary feud in OAOAST history! Popick bends down so that he is only a few inches away from Tha Puerto Rican. PRL's eyes are glazed over. He is lying on the mat on his side. POPICK So did you hear that, P.R.? Next Thursday, you face the one man who you could never get the best of. The one man who always got the better of you in all your battles. The one man who YOU COULD NEVER BEAT! And next Thursday, he will be the one man who will DESTROY YOUR CAREER! So, get plenty of rest. Drink lots of water. Do plenty of excersises. Although none of that will matter as The Mad Cappa will still kick your ass anyway! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA! Good luck, PRL. Although it's not like luck will help you anyway! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! "Stronger" by Kanye West starts playing. Popick smiles evilly at Tha Puerto Rican. He points to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt around his waist and mouths, "You're never gonna get it." He gets up and laughs maniacally again. The Mad Cappa joins in on the laughing. Cappa and Popick shake hands again. COLE What a shocking turn of events! The Mad Cappa, back in the OAOAST, a member of The Lightning Crew! And next week, he faces Tha Puerto Rican again one-on-one for the first time in a long time! COACH What a wild roller coaster ride this had been! First, PRL and Popick end their alliance. THEN, PRL gets kicked out of The Lightning Crew. THEN, PRL reunites with Colombian Heat. THEN, Spanish Fly turns on Colombian Heat and rejoins The Lightning Crew. AND THEN, The Mad Cappa returns, gives PRL a BUST A CAP, and joins The Lightning Crew. This is the best two week period in the history of professional wrestling! The Mad Cappa taunts PRL, despite PRL only being half-conscious by now. Spanish Fly has an evil smile on his face. He taunts Colombian Heat who is still on the outside, holding his junk. Stephen Joseph Popick congratulates the rest of The Lightning Crew on a job well done as "Stronger" continues playing. COLE The Mad Cappa is back in the OAOAST. PRL's arch-rival, arguably his most famous opponent is back, and they will collide again next week live on HeldDOWN~! The Mad Cappa vs. Tha Puerto Rican...AGAIN! Next week live on HeldDOWN~! Don't miss it! And please, stay tuned for our huge mainevent! You don't want to miss this one! The Mad Cappa smiles evilly. Colombian Heat is starting to get up on the outside. Tha Puerto Rican has his head up on the mat, but that's all that's up for now. His eyes are still glazed over. Stephen Joseph Popick and The Lightning Crew gloat about what they've just done as "Stronger" by Kanye West continues playing. FADE OUT * COMMERCIAL BREAK * COMING UP NEXT International World Title Denzel Spencer Vs Reject Vs Felix Strutter Vs Sandman9000 NEXT