Patty O'Green

We return from break, focused on Michael Cole. COLE Let's take you back right now to our weekly Syndicated broadcast, OAOAST Pro Wrestling, from this past Saturday. Some candid remarks from The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew who have been on a bit of a slump in recent weeks, but picked up a 'W' in the win column against The All-American Boys. And after the match, they had this to say to Jesse "The Body"... * SWOOSH * Courtesy: OAOAST Syndicated Rico and Lucius climb onto the entrance stage, looking a little exerted after their victory. There to meet them is Jesse "The Body", gathering them into shot. VENTURA Guys, congratulations on the win tonight but before we go any further, I gotta ask... what's the situation been in the past few months? It's safe to say, it hasn't exactly been a party for Mardi Gras since you guys lost your shot at the World Tag Titles. RICO Jesse mang, you right, you know. It's been real rough for me an' for Lucius here recently. But tha's all about to change. We're on the way back up. LUCIUS This man speaketh the truth. Gettin' eliminated from that Thanksgiving Survivor Series match first? That was a reeeaal low point. But it was also the kick me an' my main man Rico needed. VENTURA That said, you guys especially must be pretty pleased with the break-up of Chicks Over Dicks. Lucius and Rico both laugh. LUCIUS You ain't gon' see nobody in that OAOAST locker room shedding no tears for Krista and Ally. You wanna know why that is Jesse? It's cause we're all HAPPY 'bout it! We're all happy that them 'Chicks Over Dicks' ain't around no more. Cause fo' years and years now, dem bitches be ruining careers. When they stepped into that squared circle, they weren't there to just beat ya, brotha. They weren't there just to hurt ya. Naw naw, they was there to rip every shred o' dignity you got away from ya! RICO See mang, to them it was all just a game. They got off on embarrassin' people. You step into the ring with them girls, you's never the same afterwards. Look at Christian Wright. Look at The South Central Militia. Look at The Sooner Bruisers. Look at Ned and Simon. Look at US! LUCIUS Me an' my main man Rico here were hot property just a few months ago. We were HI-YAH Tag Team Champs! We were contenders for the OAOAST straps. We were somebodies 'round here. An' now look at us. We got into the ring wit' them two bitches an' we ain't been the same! They cut mah 'fro! They turned Rico into a joke! We can't get our faces on HeldDOWN~! no more cause whenever people be lookin' at us, all they be seein' is me submitting from a haricut an' Rico singing Jefferson Starship! Rico glares down the camera lens. RICO Rico hates Jefferson Starship. LUCIUS That's right, he does! And he hates Chicks Over Dicks too! Das why we're reeeeaaal happy to see they ain't gon' be round no more to hand out their special brand of embarrassation to the likes of us. It's great to finally see the tables turned, lemme tell ya Jesse Ventura. Whenever I see Krista bawling out them tears from those baby blues it makes me real happy. Whenever we see Alix an' Mackie arm in arm an' tongue in tongue, it makes Rico real happy. Seein' them dames torn apart and EMBARRASSED week in an' week out on OAOAST TV, that makes me an' Rico extremely happy baby! Cause now they now how WE feel!! VENTURA Well, they'll be one less team to deal with in the big Anderson Cup competition. You started off strong. Former HI-YAH Tag Team Champions. You guys know that all starts in January, you've gotta be hoping for a big run from now 'till then to guarantee a good seeding. RICO Jesse mang, it don't matter who we get. LUCIUS Das right! Mardi Gras' comin' early next year, so get ready for the party of a lifetime! RICO *strokes porn 'stache* That facial hair stroking is apparantly the cue for "Easy Lover" as it hits again, The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew swaggering their way to the back. * SWOOSH * Right to to the cozy confines of The Entperise's office/dressing room. Despite the stable's large membership base, only Molly Nerdly, fooling around with the Siclopse, and Christian Wright, eyes glued to an eighty inch flat screen television boradcasing HD, are present. CHRISTIAN WRIGHT Argh! Molly isn't exactly paying attention, instead too busy fiddling with the lighting settings on the Siclopse to notice. WRIGHT Argh!! Molly glances up annoyed, but doesn't seem ready to acknowledge her boss' anger. WRIGHT Argh! MOLLY NERDLY Alright, alright, alright, Greybeard The Pirate, I'll give you the time of day. What's wrong with you, Mister Wright? WRIGHT The laments espoused by those vagabond ruffians, The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew ring too true, too harsh, too rough, and they prick like thorns. Were I permitted my druthers, I would prick hate for pricking and beat Alix down. Yet my sword remains sheathed, my feet chained, and my hands shackled, and the satisfaction for my lust for revenge remains eternally beyond salivating fangs. Every sorrow expressed through the vernacular of those street urchins, sounds as though it could have been crafted by my very lips. But, as they speak of the casual, thoughtless destruction of their already meager OAOAST existence, I speak of a once promising career now laden with booby traps set by Chicks Over Dicks. For every step I've strolled to my benefit, a Chicks Over Dicks landmine hurls me back yards. Now, with eyes so tearful and heart so wounded, I languish amidst visions of my servile lackey, Bohemoth, blessed with championship opportunities he owns no entitlement towards. MOLLY (no longer paying attention!) Look a skittle! And its purple! How wonderfully wonderful! WRIGHT I beesech you, Molly, transport your memory back to the survivor series contestation, and you'll find an ambush on my very senses. Though, I am a person of impeccable character, and moral fiber, I am but a man, a lowly man who's carnal urges so readily feast upon god's womanly glories. And with this knowledge, though they are assumed enemies, together they damned me with further humiliation and eventual elimination. MOLLY Hey, Team Alix, won the match. Can you imagine the kind of reaction Moneymaker would've had if you guys lost? Wowza, I don't think they make tranquilizer darts strong enough to contain that kinda rampage. WRIGHT (ignoring Molly) Where The Wrecking Crew and other tag teams of their low brow ilk have sought to unearth hope and joy in the cessation of the Chicks Over Dicks unit, no simillar opportunity lies before these weary bones of Christian Wright. For I am damnded to call Alix Maria Spezia, an ally. I must gaze upon her not as a pagan soul to be exterminated for homosexual sins against god, but as a coworker to be tolerated, and not executed for her hedonistic sex crimes. The others have earned their parole from inescapable prison Alix and Krista constructed. Yet, I am left behind, made to endure embarrassment and function in a life transformed into an unbearable hell. And why is this? Because Mister Moneymaker's greed wills it so. Molly, I know not how much longer I can hold the peace. Before Molly can offer a rebuttal, an angered Christian hastily storms out the room. COLE Wow. The Wrecking Crew stating that they and the rest of the lockeroom are thrilled to be rid of COD, but Christian Wright, well...overreact much? COACH Overreact? You heard The Wrecking Crew! The tag division was hell with Chicks Over Dicks around. A title shot was a curse, it was better to not get one, unless you like getting humiliated to the point where you have to be taken off TV for months. And now all that hell gets transfered onto Christian Wright. And Moneymaker's just gonna make him take it? Naw, never that. COLE Folks, we'll see how that develops. For now we still have our mainevent, plus another edition of Reel Talk! COMMERCIAL

OAOAST QuizDOWN is brought to you by...Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End - 2 Disc Special Edition now out on DVD Who Did The Mad Cappa defeat to win his second OAOAST Italian/Heartland Title? A.Gunner Sharps B.Drek Stone C.Chris Bryte D.Crystal The Answer...... B.Drek Stone COLE Welcome back to HeldDOWN~!, folks! Michael Cole alongside the Coach here, and if you're just joining us, we've added a match to the broadcast that wasn't on our original card. Zack Malibu arrived here tonight looking to get a few things off his chest regarding our, ahem, beloved World Heavyweight Champion and his recent successful defense in the Triple Cage Match at this years November Reign event. Zack was stopped backstage by Bohemoth, another competitor in that matchup, who laid out a challenge for Malibu. Bo stated that he felt that Zack should prove himself once again, and work his way back up the ladder just as anyone else would do, and it was there that the challenge was set. Zack Malibu and Bohemoth, two men who valiantly struggled to become the OAOAST World Champion, will both start working their way back up the ladder, making their way through the superstars of the OAOAST until one of them is able to secure a World Championship match! COACH A bit of friendly competition to spice things up here in the OAOAST Mikey Cole, and who knew that it was gonna start tonight, because Zack Malibu faces his first obstacle in getting back to the top of the mountain in the form of Conquistador Uno! COLE A little one-sided, but we all have to start somewhere. Already in the ring, Uno is flanked by his partner Dos, who encourages his partner to win one, since the number of checkmarks in the win column of Los Conquistadors isn't all that impressive. "Getting Away With Murder" hits, and out to the ring comes the OAOAST's favorite son, welcomed by a tremendous reaction from the crowd. BUFFER Introducing the opponent, he hails from Providence, RI. Weighing in at two hundred and ten pounds, this is ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLIBUUUUUUUUUUUUU! The fans roar as Zack hops up onto the apron, then climbs the ropes to get a better view of his supporters. Malibu then hops into the ring, cracking his neck as he paces, waiting for the bell to ring. Dos gives Uno one last bit of advice, and whether it's going to work or not is about to be found out, as the bell sounds! COLE Here we go! Zack Malibu's quest to regain the World Title starts here and now against a rather unlikely opponent. COACH In this place, anything's possible, Mikey Cole. COLE It's a belief system like that that explains why you've still got a job, Coach. COACH ... Immediately, Zack locks Uno in a collar and elbow tie up, but the feisty luchadore uses a quick go-behind, pinning Zack's arm against the small of his back with a hammerlock! Zack braces himself, then fires back a hard elbow, catching Uno in the face and causing an immediate break! Zack then reaches back and snapmares Uno over, and backs up as his opponent starts to rise up off the mat...then absolutely CRACKS him with a SCHOOL'S OUT the moment he gets to his feet! COACH ...ALREADY!? Malibu jumps on top of Uno and hooks the leg, waiting for Charles Robinson to make the academic three count, as the fans are going batshit for Malibu's patented finisher. ONE! TWO! THREE! DING*DING*DING COLE Well, we...we barely got a word in edgewise. I think Zack's walk to the ring took longer than that match! "Getting Away With Murder" is cued up again, almost as quickly as it had faded out. Malibu gets his hand raised to the crowd's delight, while Dos slides into the ring, as shocked as everyone else as he kneels beside his partner, slapping his face trying to get him to come to. Malibu turns and looks back at the damage he's done before exiting the ring, and as he makes his way up the aisle, he sees Bo at the entranceway, clapping for him. COACH So is Bo Zack's new motivational speaker or something? COLE In a way you could say that, because this little challenge of his has certainly lit a fire under The Franchise! Zack comes up the aisle and doesn't stop, choosing to walk right past Bo...then he backsteps and holds up one finger (no, not like that!), signifying that Malibu's already got one victory as a part of the deal the two made no more than an hour earlier. Bo nods at Zack and watches as he disappears behind the curtain, then does so himself as we cut to break. COMMERCIAL

The camera cuts to the backstage area where The Badd Boyz are currently located. Colombian Heat is being checked on by a doctor. The OAOAST United States Championship belt lies next to him on a big case. Tha Puerto Rican is pacing back and forth, in a REAL bad mood. The crowd cheers. THA PUERTO RICAN That midget bastard kicked you in the nuts and then beat you down!? HE did that!? That little shrimp did that to YOU!? COLOMBIAN HEAT Hey man, he caught me off guard! PRL Why that little pus...I told you he was bad news! I never trusted him! I never liked him anyway! Little bitch! Doing that to you! Come on! HEAT It's cool, G. It's cool. I'll get him in due time. But for now, youse gotta worry about yo' match wit Tha Bone Thug later on tonight. PRL Oh don't worry, Heat. I will get him. Then I will murder him. He may be my blood cousin, but that doesn't mean I have to *like* him either! I'm gonna kick his ass for what they did to you tonight! And then, afterwards, I will do some Fly swatting! HEAT You do dat. I'ma gonna go recuperate over herre. PRL I didn't even know you could say the word 'recuperate'! HEAT There's alot you don't know about me. It's been three years! PRL Heh. HEAT Heh. PRL Anyway, I gotta go get ready. Doc, make sure you keep an eye on Heat. Give him whatever medicine he needs. Tape him up wherever he needs to be taped up. If you don't, I'll kill you. Nah, I'm just playing. But seriously, if he's still hurt by the time I get back, I'm gonna take that stethoscope, shine it up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass. DOCTOR You won't have to do that, P.R. Trust me, I know what I'm doing. PRL You damn well better! These OAOAST doctors don't come cheap! Anyway, later, Heat. HEAT Later, dude. PRL high fives Heat and then walks away. The doctor starts taping Heat's ribs. HEAT Hey watch it! Nah, just playin'! Just playin'! The doctor rolls his eyes and then goes back to taping Colombian Heat's ribs. COMING UP NEXT ZACK MALIBU IN ACTION NEXT

The camera cuts to The Lightning Crew dressing room where the members of The Lightning Crew are congradulating Spanish Fly. Vitamin X high fives Fly. Thomas Rodriguez shakes Fly's right hand with his right hand. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick and Princess Stacey both give Spanish Fly a hug and a kiss. The Bone Thug nods his head. Spanish Fly nods back. Everyone in The Lightning Crew is speaking over each other. But that stops when Stephen Joseph Popick walks into The Lightning Crew dressing room, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. The crowd boos. Popick looks over Spanish Fly with a smile on his face. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK I always knew you would return. Welcome home, Prodigal Son! Stephen Joseph Popick hugs Spanish Fly. The rest of The Lightning Crew applauds them. SPANISH FLY Thank you, sir. It is an honor to be back. Now, I finally have the respect that I deserve! POPICK You do, son. You do. You see, we here in The Lightning Crew treat everyone like they're a brother or sister to us. And you, Spanish Fly, will be no different. Yes, you might be even smaller than the two ladies in our group, but I know that you have the biggest heart out of all of us! And I know that you will make all of us proud! FLY I will, Mr. Popick! I will! POPICK Please, from now on call me...BOSS! FLY Okay...boss! POPICK Much better! Lightning Crew, drink up, be merry! For tonight is a night of celebration! Spanish Fly has returned home to the flock! And he shall have a front row seat as we watch The Bone Thug DESTROY Tha Puerto Rican later on tonight! THE BONE THUG ARRIBA LA RAZA~! Yo no le dejará abajo Senor Popick! ARRIBA LA RAZA~! POPICK ARRIBA LA RAZA~! indeed, Bone Thug! ARRIBA LA RAZA~! indeed! Someone's cellphone rings. POPICK Hold on. That's me. Popick answers his cellphone. POPICK Hello? Yes. You're here? Good. Excellent! PRL's gonna love this, HA HA! Thanks for showing up, dude! Okay. See you in a few minutes. Bye bye! Popick hangs up the cellphone. VITAMIN X Who was it? POPICK The man I talked to last week is here! The man who I GUARANTEE you all will get rid of Tha Puerto Rican once and for all! He has arrived and he is ready. Oh boy is he ready! I'm gonna go meet him! You guys stay here. I'll bring him in here in a few minutes! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! ARRIBA LA RAZA~! Popick slings the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his right shoulder and then opens the door to The Lightning Crew dressing room. POPICK ARRIBA LA RAZA~! Popick exits through the door and closes it. The Lightning Crew all look on. THE LIGHTNING CREW ARRIBA LA RAZA~! The Lightning Crew all go back to congradulating Spanish Fly on joining them. There are smiles all around. The crowd boos.

OAOAST HeldDOWN is brought to you by GEICO-Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent on car insurance I'm Not There-Now playing in select theaters L'Oreal-Because You're Worth It "LIGHTNING CREW!" The crowd stands up and starts booing immediately as the opening to "No Chance In Hell" starts playing. All shots of Tha Puerto Rican in The Lightning Crew entrance video have been replaced by shots of Stephen Joseph Popick. The lights go down in the arena while smoke fills up the entrance stage. Then, the crescendo hits, and a lightning bolt hits the entrance. The crowd boos, as "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts playing. *No chance (No chance) That's what ya got! (Ha! Ha! Yeah.) We're up against no machine too strong (Too strong) Pussy politicians buying souls for us are...PUPPETS! (Puppets!)* The entrance doors slide open, and Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall come out. The crowd boos louder. Wall and Boricua look at the crowd, Wall a smirk on his face, Boricua a sneer on his face. CW pumps his right fist into the air. He looks at Boricua. Mr. Boricua grunts. Then, the two big men of The Lightning Crew begin their walk to the ring, with Cuban Wall's eyes focused solely on it, a serious expression on his face. *But will find their place in line But tie a string around your finger now boy cuz Cuz it's just a matter of time Cuz you've got...NO CHANCE! (You've got no chance!) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You've got...NO CHANCE! (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You've got...NO CHANCE! (Got no chance!) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You've got...NO CHANCE! (Chance!) NO CHANCE IN HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!* *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall with a thirty-minute TV time limit. Introducing first. Coming to the ring at this time. Representing The Lightning Crew. At a total combined weight of 585 lbs. The team of MISTER BORICUA AND CUBANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! Cuban Wall shadow boxes a little bit as "No Chance In Hell" continues playing. COLE A big tag team match about to start in a few moments! Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua going head-to-head against two guys who they know very well in Spanish Fly and Colombian Heat! COACH True, but this times a little different. Now that Colombian Heat is back with his BUTT-buddy Tha Puerto Rican, Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua have even MORE of a reason to kick his ass! COLE You can't say 'BUTT-buddy' on TV! COACH Da Coach is bigger than any FCC violation! Mr. Boricua yells at the fans. Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua climb the ring steps and then climb over the top rope to enter the ring. A spotlight shines on Wall and Boricua as the two of them do The Lightning Crew Salute to loud boos. COLE And there is The Lightning Crew Salute. For years that was done by Tha Puerto Rican, but after last week, as hard as it is to believe, he won't be doing it anymore. Yes folks, Tha Puerto Rican is OUT of The Lightning Crew. Out of the very group he founded! COACH He was failing as a leader. Popick did the right thing. And if PR wants a war, then he's got a war! All 8 members of The Lightning Crew aren't afraid to fight, I can tell you that much. COLE Well, for four years they did PR's dirty work. Now they're doing Popick's! So, nothing has really changed! COACH Hush up, you! Cuban Wall jaws with the fans as "No Chance In Hell" continues playing. Wall heads to a second turnbuckle and raises his hands in the air. He then gets off the turnbuckle and heads to another second turnbuckle where he raises his hands in the air again. Wall then gets off the second turnbuckle and heads to a third second turnbuckle where he raises his hands again. Wall then gets off that second turnbuckle and heads to the fourth second turnbuckle where he raises his hands in the air for a fourth time. Cuban Wall then gets off the second turnbuckle and shadow boxes. Mr. Boricua heads to a second turnbuckle and poses to loud boos. He then gets off the second turnbuckle and exits the ring to the ringside area to yell at the fans. COLE The two big men of The Lightning Crew about to face off against the team of Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly that are stronger than ever! They had some tension over the past two months, but they eased their differences after the incredible Ladder Match for the US Title 2 weeks ago at November Reign. COACH So? It doesn't matter. Both Fly and Heat are outmatched. This will be a piece of cake for The Lightning Crew! COLE You've said that in the past, Coach. This ain't Heat OR Fly's first rodeo with The Lightning Crew you know! COACH Yeah, but those were all flukes! COLE When do they stop being flukes and start being legit victories? COACH When I say so. COLE Which will be never. COACH Correct. You catch on quick! COLE Oh come on. The lights go back on in the arena. COLE Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly, more unified than ever! As great as Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall are, this is NOT a good time to be facing Heat and Fly! COACH Don't be ridicolous. Calm down on the hyperbole Cole! "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds dies down. The crowd boos. COLE Big time match-up coming up in just a few moments here on HeldDOWN~! The lights go down in the arena. Two spotlights shine on the entrance. After five seconds... *BOOM~!* Spanish Fly shoots out from underneath the entrance stage with pyro right behind him. Spanish Fly raises his right fist into the air causing the crowd to cheer. "Krokodilamadurinn" by Quarashi starts playing as Spanish Fly points to both sides of the arena, and then walks down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way. BUFFER And their opponents! First, coming to the ring at this time. Originally from Tijuana, Mexico but now residing in San Diego, California. Weighing in at 175 lbs. SPANISHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Spanish Fly continues slapping hands with the fans as he makes his way to the ring. COLE Spanish Fly, a former HI-YAH World Tag Team Champion, a Title which he held with Colombian Heat for two weeks back in January. COACH The darkest days in the history of the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles. COLE (ignoring Coach) Now he is once again tag teaming with Colombian Heat! COACH Fly didn't seem too pleased that PRL and Heat reunited last week. COLE While that's true, they agreed to disagree for now, which I can understand. I mean, after all, it was a little over two years ago that PRL was feuding with Spanish Fly over the 24/7 Title! COACH The poor guy is just mad that his playtime with Heat has been cut in half. He doesn't want to share the sandbox with Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Oh will you stop!? COACH No, making these jokes about Fly is fun! I can't help it if he's a walking punchline! COLE Oh please. Spanish Fly climbs the ring steps and then enters the ring. He stares at Wall and Boricua. Fly then gets on a second turnbuckle and raises his hands in the air to cheers. Spanish Fly gets off the second turnbuckle and heads to another second turnbuckle, raising his hands in the air receiving another loud pop from the crowd. Fly gets off the turnbuckles and looks at his opponents again. COLE The 4'11" Spanish Fly in for the fight of his life. Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall are thinking about what happened last week. And they will surely take it out on Heat and Fly. COACH As well they should. The lights go back on in the arena. Spanish Fly says something to Wall and Boricua and then looks at the entrance. "Krokodilamadurinn" by Quarashi dies down. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is surely watching this match. His friend, one half of The Badd Boyz, about to be in tag team action with *his* best friend, Spanish Fly! Spanish Fly does "The Outsiders point taunt". The crowd is buzzing in anticipation of Colombian Heat's entrance. COLE This crowd is on their edge of their seats waiting for the arrival of the US Champion! COACH Big whoop. A piano plays a melody, causing the crowd to cheer. The lights go down in the arena, turning back on in tune with the melody. *"COME ON!"* *BOOM~!* "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Pyro explodes, leaving behind fire that burns on both sides of the entrance stage. "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil' Jon and Pitbull starts playing. The entrance doors slide open, and the crowd cheers as Colombian Heat comes storming out. Heat bounces up and down in place, the OAOAST United States Championship belt strapped around his waist. Heat unstraps the belt and raises the OAOAST United States Championship belt over his head, pointing to it to loud cheers. The Colombian superstar raises his hands, acknowledging the fans. He then points to both sides of the arena, and then begins his walk down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans with his left hand and holding the OAOAST United States Championship belt with his right hand. BUFFER And his partner. Coming to the ring at this time. Originally from Bogotá, Colombia but now residing in Miami, Florida. Weighing in at 180 lbs. He is one-half of The Badd Boyz AND the reigning One And Only AngleSault Thread United States Champion. This...is...COLOMBIANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! Colombian Heat continues his walk to the ring, slapping more fans hands while Spanish Fly applauds him inside of the ring. COLE A tremendous ovation for Colombian Heat, the reigning United States Champion, who last week formed a new tag team with his old running buddy, PRL, called The Badd Boyz! COACH Something which didn't please Spanish Fly. COLE True. But they've agreed to put things on hold for now and concentrate on the task at hand. Because you gotta believe Popick has given Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall strict orders to decimate and manhandle both Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly! COACH Just sit back and relax and enjoy the carnage like I will, Michael Cole! This is going to be quite the match! HA HA! Colombian Heat looks at the camera. COLOMBIAN HEAT We is gonna get CRUNK'D~! here tonight, y'all! YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! Colombian Heat climbs up the ring steps and then hops into the ring. Heat gets on the second ring rope and does the "WESTSIIIIIIIDE" hand signal with his right hand, and raises the OAOAST United States Championship belt in the air with his left hand, receiving cheers. Heat then gets onto a second turnbuckle and throws up the "W" hand signal again with his right hand and raises the OAOAST United States Championship belt in the air with his left hand. He receives more cheers. Spanish Fly roots Heat on inside the ring. COLE A longtime rivalry about to continue as Heat and Fly mix it up with their two former comrades in The Lightning Crew, Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua. COACH Heat, Fly, and PRL all have one thing in common: none of them deserve to wear a Lightning Crew T-shirt! COLE Which is kinda funny when again, you remember that PRL FOUNDED the group in the first place! COACH I know. Life is weird, ain't it? Colombian Heat gets off the second turnbuckle and calls for a microphone. COLE Colombian Heat defeated Cuban Wall to win his first singles Title in the OAOAST, the 24/7 Title, back in July on HeldDOWN~! in 3 seconds flat. Something Cuban Wall hasn't forgotten about to this very day. COACH It was the truly the low point of Cuban Wall's career, but he has bounced back stupendously! And hey, if Popick still wants him in The Lightning Crew, that must mean something, right? COLE I'm not sure if I'd use Popick as the measuring stick for who's talented in the OAOAST. COACH Popick knows talent when he sees it. And in Cuban Wall, he DEFINITELY sees IT! Colombian Heat receives a microphone from a ringside attendant. COLOMBIAN HEAT Yo! CROWD YO! HEAT Yo! CROWD YO! HEAT YO! CROWD YO! HEAT YO! CROWD YO! HEAT YO! CROWD YO! HEAT YO! CROWD YO! HEAT YO! CROWD YO! HEAT YO! CROWD YO! HEAT YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Colombian Heat smiles. "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil' Jon and Pitbull dies down. Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall look on in disgust. COLOMBIAN HEAT Yeah, first off, I's like to send a special shoutout to mah boi, Tha Puerto Rican who will kick some Lightning Crew ASS later on tonight! The crowd pops for the mention of Tha Puerto Rican. HEAT Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But for now, if all of y'all are ready to see me and mah brotha from anotha motha, Spanish Fly, make Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua feel the Heat...then Tacoma, Washington...make some noise UP IN THIS-- "BI-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!" The crowd does make some noise up in this bi-atch. Heat hands the microphone over to Spanish Fly. SPANISH FLY Aw yeah! Aw yeah! Where my dogs at!? Where they at!? Tacoma, Washington WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!? "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" FLY Damn right, yo! Spanish Fly hands the microphone back to the same ringside attendant Heat got the microphone from. Colombian Heat removes his bling from around his neck and then hands the bling over to another ringside attendant. Heat then hands the OAOAST United States Championship belt over to referee Mickey Jay, who then hands the belt over to another ringside attendant. Heat exits the ring and searches around ringside for someone to give his Colombian Heat bandana to. He finds somebody in the form of an 8-year-old boy with a white Colombian Heat T-shirt on. Heat puts his Colombian Heat bandana on the head of the 8-year-old boy and then gives him a high-five. Heat gives the kid a thumbs up and smiles. HEAT YEAH-UH~! COLE Fans of all ages love Colombian Heat! COACH Yes, yes, I get it already! Cut it out with that crap! Colombian Heat climbs back up the ring steps and hops back into the ring. Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall are already in the ring. Heat stands by Spanish Fly as Fly pulls on the top ring rope. The crowd is buzzing in anticipation of the start of the match. COLE Popick said the physical and mental dissection of Tha Puerto Rican begins this week. We shall see if he's right. COACH Popick's got a good track record when it comes to being right. Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua discuss stragety while Spanish Fly and Colombian Heat do the same. Mickey Jay pats down Cuban Wall, and then pats down Mr. Boricua. He then goes over and pats down Spanish Fly, and then pats down Colombian Heat. He gives the two teams last minute instructions and then calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* CUBAN WALL AND MR. BORICUA vs. COLOMBIAN HEAT AND SPANISH FLY Mr. Boricua heads to his corner, meaning Cuban Wall will start for The Lightning Crew team. Spanish Fly and Colombian Heat do Rock, Paper, Scissors. Heat's Paper beats Spanish Fly's Rock, so Heat starts the match. He pounds elbows with Fly and then Spanish Fly exits the ring. COLE All right. We begin the match with Colombian Heat and Cuban Wall. Two men who know each other very well! COACH They've had their battles in the past, and as usual, Cuban Wall will come out on top! "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" Heat and Wall stare at each other. Heat looks at the crowd and nods his head, a smile on his face. COLE This crowd behind Heat 100% here tonight! Colombian Heat watches as Cuban Wall cracks his knuckles. Spanish Fly gives Heat words of encouragement. Wall motions for Heat to bring it. Heat and Wall circle each other. They lock up. Heat immediately ends the lock up by kicking Cuban Wall in the gut! He does it again! And again! Heat then switches to forearm shots to the head of The Muscle of The Lightning Crew! Heat grabs Cuban Wall and whips him into the ropes. He follows with an AJ Styles-like dropkick! The dropkick dazes Wall, but he does not fall! So, Colombian Heat grabs Cuban Wall and takes him over to a neutral corner where he slams Wall's head on the top turnbuckle pad! Heat then kicks Wall in the chest. Then the gut. Then the chest. And then the gut again! COLE Colombian Heat in control of Cuban Wall in the early going! Colombian Heat whips Cuban Wall into the opposite turnbuckle, and then follows with another dropkick! Heat taunts Mr. Boricua. Mr. Boricua grunts and yells and screams at Heat. Cuban Wall pokes Heat in the eyes! COACH That's what ya get for doing that, Heat! HA HA! Wall quickly takes the advantage, grabbing Heat by his left arm and twisting it into an arm-wringer. He then turns the arm-wringer into a side headlock. Wall cinches the hold tight. Heat walks with Wall into the ropes, and then shoves him off into the opposite ropes. Wall does a shoulderblock which knocks Heat down! COLE And Wall with a shoulderblock, now in control! Wall takes a few steps back, and then charges forward, going for an jumping elbow drop...THAT MISSES! Heat moved out of the way! COACH Oh no! COLE Nobody home for Wall on that one! Heat slowly gets back to his feet. Heat sees Wall on the mat, so he decides to do the "Where The Hood At!?" onto Wall! Heat goes for the cover. 1... 2... KICK OUT! COLE Not enough that time for Heat! Colombian Heat slaps the mat in frustration. But he soon gets over it and picks the now slightly weakened Cuban Wall up. Heat grabs Wall by his head and slams his head on the top turnbuckle pad in a neutral corner. Heat then punches Wall in the face several times. CH climbs the second turnbuckle and starts hammering away at the top of Cuban Wall's head. CROWD ONE! TWO! THREE! Cuban Wall shoves Heat off of him. But Heat lands on his feet, so he goes right back up onto the second turnbuckle and starts hammering away at the top of Cuban Wall's head! CROWD ONE! TWO! THREE! Cuban Wall shoves Heat off of him again! But the United States Champion lands on his feet once more and immediately goes right back onto the second turnbuckle to continue hammering away at the top of Cuban Wall's head! COLE Shoved off again! But the United States Champion is relentless! CROWD ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN! ELEVEN! Colombian Heat gets back onto the mat and plays to the crowd, who cheer. Cuban Wall is already winded. Spanish Fly cheers Heat on. COACH What are you waiting for, Wall? DO SOMETHING! CH pulls Cuban Wall out from the turnbuckle corner. He hooks him up for The Stroke! COLE Bong Hit on Cuban Wall! He got all of it on that one! The crowd cheers. Mr. Boricua enters the ring. He goes for a clothesline. Colombian Heat ducks, and starts firing away with forearm shots to the head! COLE And now Colombian Heat going to work on Mr. Boricua! COACH No Boricua! That's a bad Boricua! Mr. Boricua goes for a right punch. Heat ducks, and fires with some more punches! Mr. Boricua goes for a left hook. Heat ducks that one too, and fires with some more punches getting Stephen Joseph Popick's bodyguard dazed and confused! Colombian Heat keeps on hitting Mr. Boricua with his punches, and then bounces off the ropes, charges forward, and hits Boricua with a leg lariat sending him over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE Out goes Mr. Boricua! The 6'9" 300 pound monster has been taken out of the ring by the 6'0" 180 pound Colombian Heat! COACH What is going on here people? Focus! Focus! Focus! NOW! Mr. Boricua is out on the floor. Colombian Heat quickly slides back into the ring and does a SHIMMY~! to the crowd's delight! Cuban Wall is showing signs of movement on the mat. "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" COLE Colombian Heat is all fired up right now! COACH Get your heads together, guys! Spanish Fly enters the ring. Mickey Jay tells Fly to get back to his corner but he won't listen. Colombian Heat paces around the ring waiting for Cuban Wall to get back to his feet. COLE And now Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly are in control of the two big men of The Lightning Crew! Colombian Heat taunts Mr. Boricua, who is still on the outside. He then taunts Cuban Wall and laughs at him. COACH What is Heat waiting for? COLE I think he is just giving them time to get up. COACH What an arrogant jerk. He knows that he's in control, but he wants to prolong the suffering! And yet people CHEER for this thug!? COLE He's got alot of good qualities! That's why they love him! COACH He has no good qualities in my eyes! Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly pace back and forth in the ring, getting the crowd worked up. COLE Yes he does! Like he's got a good heart. He's very talented. He's good on the mic-- SPANISH FLY GIVES COLOMBIAN HEAT A LOW BLOWii!!!!!!!!!! COLE HEY! WAIT A MINUTE! Spanish Fly starts hammering away at Colombian Heat's back! The crowd is stunned! COLE What am I seeing!? What am I seeing!? COACH I don't know, but I like it! COLE That's his best friend! That's his best friend he's doing that to! COACH Looks like that's not the case anymore! Spanish Fly hammers Heat until he can no longer stand! Fly then exits the ring and climbs the top rope. The crowd can't believe it. COLE Is this happening!? No! It can't be! COACH It is, Cole! It is! And I thought we had our fill with shocking events last week! But it looks like it continues this week! Spanish Fly motions for Heat to get up. Cuban Wall is using the ring ropes to pull himself up. He smiles evilly. Colombian Heat is on his right knee. COLE I thought they had reconciled! I thought things were smooth between them again! COACH Looks like you were wrong, as usual, Michael Cole! COLE But wait a minute. Does that mean... COACH Could be, Cole! Could be! Colombian Heat slowly gets to a vertical base. He is now groggy. Spanish Fly leaps off the top rope, coming down on Colombian Heat with a top rope Fame-Ass-Er! COLE Fly Swatter! Fly Swatter on Colombian Heat! This can't be happening! COACH It's happening right before your very eyes, Cole! Spanish Fly lets out a primal roar! Colombian Heat is laying flat on his back on the mat! Fly taunts Heat as Mr. Boricua gets on the ring apron. Cuban Wall is now on his feet and is applauding Spanish Fly. The crowd boos loudly. COLE This is unbelievable! Spanish Fly has turned on Colombian Heat! There's no question about their friendship now! COACH It was bound to happen. And it finally did. Mr. Boricua enters the ring. He laughs maniacally. Cuban Wall also laughs maniacally. Then, it all becomes crystal clear as Spanish Fly looks at Wall and Fly...and forms an L with his arms! The Lightning Crew Salute! COLE Oh no! DAMNIT! DAMNIT! NO! COACH YES! He has returned home! Spanish Fly has an evil smile on his face. He spits on Colombian Heat and then exits the ring. COLE Spanish Fly sold out! Spanish Fly sold out to The Lightning Crew! He has returned to The Lightning Crew! COACH Oh happy day! He has returned home! Praise the Lord! Spanish Fly taunts the fans at ringside while Cuban Wall covers Colombian Heat. Mickey Jay counts. COLE Spanish Fly has sunk to a new low! 1... 2... HEAT PUTS HIS RIGHT SHOULDER UP!!! "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" SPANISH FLY WHAT!? COACH WHAT!? COLE He put his right shoulder up! Colombian Heat will not stay down! Come on Heat! Come on Heat! COACH And you say I'M biased! Mickey Jay makes puts up two fingers to symbolize a two count. Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, and Spanish Fly can't believe it. COLE He's still got some fight left in him! Cuban Wall starts stomping away on Colombian Heat! A "HEAT!" chant starts up again. Wall picks up the groggy Heat and sends him over to The Lightning Crew corner. He lays into Heat with some soupbones all over his body. COLE Did Colombian Heat even see Fly low blow him? Does he have any idea it was Fly!? COACH Maybe, maybe not. But he felt that low blow, that's for sure! Mr. Boricua punches on Heat while Cuban Wall continues with the soupbones! COLE Colombian Heat, betrayed by his best friend, just like PRL was betrayed by his friends last week! COACH They're two peas in a pod aren't they? Wall and Boricua hammer at Heat until he is down on the mat. But suddenly, Heat shoots right back up and punches Wall! Then he punches Boricua! Then he punches Wall! Then Boricua! Wall! Boricua! Wall! Boricua! Wall! Boricua! Wall! Boricua! COLE He's still got that fire left in him! He will not go down easily! Spanish Fly looks on concerned as Colombian Heat starts wailing away on Cuban Wall! The punches take Cuban Wall into the ropes. Heat then rushes over and punches Mr. Boricua in the face! Spanish Fly distracts the referee while Colombian Heat punches Cuban Wall on the ring ropes. COLE But Spanish Fly has the referee's attention! Colombian Heat grabs Cuban Wall's left wrist and gives him an Irish whip into the opposite ropes--Cuban Wall reverses--Mr. Boricua hits Colombian Heat in the back! Colombian Heat stumbles forward...right into a GOOZLE~! COLE Oh no! Not this! Not now! Cuban Wall grabs Colombian Heat's yellow basketball jersey and then lifts him up, slamming him back down onto the mat with a CHOKESLAM! COLE Chokeslam! Chokeslam on Colombian Heat! The crowd boos loudly. Cuban Wall laughs evilly and then picks Colombian Heat up. He scoops him up onto his right shoulder...and then falls to his knees, giving Heat the Wallbreaker! COLE Wallbreaker! Wallbreaker on Colombian Heat! COACH Oh please tell me what I think is coming up is coming up! Spanish Fly is cheering wildly. He is the only one in the arena cheering. Cuban Wall stands up, sneers at Heat, and then runs into the ropes, bounces off the ropes, charges forward, and then jumps up and down onto Colombian Heat with THE LIGHTNING CREW SPLASH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 COLE The Lightning Crew Splash! First PRL, now Colombian Heat! This is appalling! This is horrible! COACH This is awesome! Cuban Wall lets out a primal scream of his own. He then covers Colombian Heat, hooking his right leg. Mickey Jay counts. Spanish Fly counts along. COLE This is the most horrible moment in Spanish Fly's career! 1... 2... 2 1/2 2.9999999999999999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (4:56) COLE Mercifully, it's over! "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts playing again. Mr. Boricua enters the ring and raises his hands in victory. Cuban Wall gets his hands raised by Mickey Jay. Spanish Fly enters the ring and jumps up and down in celebration. BUFFER Here are your winners...MISTER BORICUA AND CUBANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! COACH They should add 'and SPANISH FLY' to that announcement because he's as much of a victor as Wall and Boricua are! Spanish Fly high fives Cuban Wall and then Mr. Boricua. He laughs maniacally. The crowd boos loudly. COLE I never thought I would see this again: Spanish Fly, Mr. Boricua, and Cuban Wall on the same page! On the same team! COACH I guess Spanish Fly finally saw the light! He has returned home! He is back in The Lightning Crew! COLE I thought he left that all behind! I thought he was a better man! I thought he was above that! Guess I was wrong. COACH Guess so! COLE Spanish Fly, Mr. 6-1-9 himself, has turned his back on these fans, turned his back on his best friend, turned his back on us all! COACH And he couldn't be happier! Mr. Boricua gets his hands raised in victory by Mickey Jay. Boricua then grabs Mickey Jay and throws him out of the ring onto the floor! COLE This is sickening! Spanish Fly raises Cuban Wall's and Mr. Boricua's hands in victory to loud boos. Fly laughs maniacally. He then does The Lightning Crew Salute again. Fly tells Wall and Boricua something. Wall and Boricua start stomping on Colombian Heat! COLE Oh come on now! The match is over! That's enough! COACH Not for me, it ain't! Spanish Fly joins in on the beatdown on Colombian Heat as "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds dies down. "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" Spanish Fly taunts the fans for saying "P.R.!" Mr. Boricua, Cuban Wall, and Spanish Fly continue stomping on Colombian Heat. COLE They were closer than most brothers! They were blood brothers! I can't believe it! I still can't! COACH Believe it! There ain't nothing but HATRED between Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly now! Spanish Fly tells Mr. Boricua something. Mr. Boricua yells, snorts, and growls as he picks the severely weakened Colombian Heat up. Boricua places Heat in a standing headscissors, and then lifts him up high into the air! COLE Oh no! Not this too! Mr. Boricua holds Heat in the air for a few more seconds...and then drops him HARD onto the mat with a Powerbomb! COLE Latino Bomb! Latino Bomb on Colombian Heat! COACH Way to go, Boricua! Way to go! Colombian Heat lies unconscious on the mat. Mr. Boricua yells, snorts, and screams. Cuban Wall and Spanish Fly pose to LOUD boos. COLE Disgusting. That's all I can say. Absolutely disgusting! Spanish Fly calls for a microphone. Cuban Wall hands him one from a ringside attendant. COLE Now what? COACH He's going to speak! SPANISH FLY Yeah! Yeah! SHUT UP! (CROWD: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!) Yeah, guess my job of being the star of this team is over! I told you Heat! I told you to be careful of who you trust in the wrestling business, Heat! I told you there are people who will hurt you! You DID end up paying the price! I TOLD YOU SO! You go ahead and be friends with PRL, you're weak just like he is! Heat, I'm tired of being your little buddy! I'm tired of being your little charity case! I'm not your partner! I'm not your amigo! I'm not your brother from another mother! I'm NOTHING to you! YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND ANYMORE! From now on, I'm my own man! And I don't need YOU, and I ESPECIALLY don't need ANY OF YOU PEOPLE! The crowd boos. FLY All I need is the love and support from my FRIENDS in THE LIGHTNING CREW! Because THESE GUYS are the ONLY people in the One And Only AngleSault Thread who treat me with the RESPECT I DESERVE! And as for you Heat, you are nothing more but a PIECE OF CRAP! And I'm SICK of being in your shadow! People are going to know who I am and recognize me for my talent whether they like it or not! So put that in your pipe and smoke it, BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! Spanish Fly kicks Colombian Heat some more! Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall join in. COLE Stop this! Will somebody stop this carnage!? Wall, Fly, and Boricua continue beating down on Colombian Heat... Until down the entrance ramp comes charging in THA PUERTO RICAN! COLE PRL IS HERE! PRL IS IN THE RING! Tha Puerto Rican slides into the ring, and as soon as he does, Mr. Boricua, Cuban Wall, and Spanish Fly exit the ring! PRL lunges after Spanish Fly, but Fly is out of his reach, something Fly makes sure to mention as he walks away back towards the entrance. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is in the ring, but it's too late! Colombian Heat has been left for dead by Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, and the NEWEST member of The Lightning Crew, Spanish Fly! COACH Spanish Fly must feel like he's 5-feet tall tonight! Tha Puerto Rican checks on his best friend while Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, and Spanish Fly walk up the entrance ramp, evil smiles on all their faces. Spanish Fly taunts Heat and PRL some more, doing a De-Generation X "SUCK IT!" hand gesture and sticking his tongue out. PRL runs his mouth at the three Lightning Crew members. COLE It's as if the roles have been reversed. You would think Spanish Fly would be the one to check on Colombian Heat, but no, it was SPANISH FLY who did the dirty deed and it is THA PUERTO RICAN checking up on Colombian Heat! COACH The OAOAST's turned upside down in the past week or so! Spanish Fly hugs Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall, and then does The Lightning Crew Salute again. PRL points a menacing finger at Spanish Fly. COLE How long was this planned for? Huh? How long was this planned for? Since last week? Last month? Did Spanish Fly really want to reconcile with Heat at November Reign? Or was that a charade? Has he been wanting to do this since October? DAMNIT I want answers! COACH Be patient. You'll get your answers. Just savor the moment. Spanish Fly has returned to the flock! He has redeemed himself tonight in Tacoma, Washington live on HeldDOWN~! COLE We have seen a side of Spanish Fly that we thought was gone never to return. How wrong we were. Spanish Fly sold out. He has been lured back into The Lightning Crew now led by Stephen Joseph Popick! COACH This is an awesome awesome moment! COLE This is one of the most starling moments in OAOAST history! One of the most shocking moments ever! We never saw it coming! All the signs pointed the other way. COACH I know, and that's the beauty of it! Bravo Lightning Crew! Bravo! Tha Puerto Rican helps Colombian Heat get up. Spanish Fly, Mr. Boricua, and Cuban Wall taunt The Badd Boyz from the entrance stage. All three Lightning Crew members laugh evilly. The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. Cut to the ending of the match, starting with Spanish Fly turning on Colombian Heat. COACH All right! We're seeing it again! Okay, so you see Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly pacing back and forth. And then, BOOM! Low blow! Spanish Fly just DEMOLISHING Colombian HACK! He hit him from behind, but he got him good! He's 4'11", but look at all that power! And then he went up top...FLY SWATTER! Fly Swatter on his good 'buddy' Colombian Heat! It was official. Spanish Fly had rejoined The Lightning Crew. And then Cuban Wall takes over. Watch this: Chokeslam! HA! HA! Then, then, Wallbreaker! And then he finishes it off with The Lightning Crew Splash! Say Buenos Noches, Colombian Heat! Uno, dos, tres! Your winners, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, AND Spanish Fly! I love it! The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen again. Cut to live action as Tha Puerto Rican helps Colombian Heat exit the ring. Cuban Wall, Spanish Fly, and Mr. Boricua have already left through the entrance doors. COLE I still contend that Colombian Heat had no idea it was Spanish Fly that gave him the low blow. He didn't look at him once during that whole 'beatdown'. He had no idea what happened. Everything happened so fast. He will have to look at the videotape, the replay of this, but I'm sure when he does, he will be absolutely crushed! A three-year friendship down the drain. Spanish Fly sold himself out to The Lightning Crew and for what? COACH Fame? Fortune? Respect? COLE All of which he had already! COACH Let's not kid ourselves, Mikey. He had no respect from these fans or his fellow OAOAST Superstars. COLE He had PLENTY of respect! For the past two years, Spanish Fly has entertained countless number of fans and put on entertaining match after entertaining match! And he threw it all away for what? What I ask!? COACH Because it got him no where! He can entertain these fans all he wants, but what's that matter when you barely got any belts to your name? Spanish Fly took a huge risk tonight, but it paid off in spades! His career is going to get a huge boost from this. A HUGE boost! He's going to skyrocket to the top now! COLE I don't know what BS Stephen Joseph Popick fed him to get him to do this, but all I know is that Spanish Fly is not the man I thought he was! And he proved it tonight! COACH You're right. He isn't. He's BETTER than the man you thought he was. Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat walk up the entrance ramp. Heat is only half-awake. PRL has to hold Heat up as they walk up the entrance ramp. COLE Well, we need to take a break. Let what just happened soak in. Fans, we'll be right back after these messages with more HeldDOWN~! live on TSM! The Badd Boyz exit through the sliding doors, Heat having to be held by Tha Puerto Rican and walking slowly. The crowd cheers. This is the last image we see before we fade to black. FADE TO BLACK *Commercials*

OAOAST QuizDOWN is brought to you by...Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End - 2 Disc Special Edition now out on DVD Who Did The Mad Cappa defeat to win his second OAOAST Italian/Heartland Title? A.Gunner Sharps B.Drek Stone C.Chris Bryte D.Crystal The Answer Still To Come! The camera cuts to the backstage area where Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly are at. The crowd cheers loudly. Spanish Fly is stretching before his match, while Colombian Heat is bouncing up and down in place, the OAOAST United States Championship belt over his left shoulder. Fly stops stretching. SPANISH FLY Heat, can we talk? COLOMBIAN HEAT Sure, what's up, son? FLY It's about what happened last week. What with you and Tha Puerto Rican becoming friends again. HEAT Aw yeah! That was awesome, bro! Yo, me and PRL, we been kickin' it all week, just chillin', hangin' out. Been like ol' times! FLY Yeeeah. About that. See, I don't know if you remember...but...me and Tha Puerto Rican...well, we don't see eye-to-eye. In fact...to be perfectly honest...I'd like to stab that bastard in the face with an ice-pick! Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is...I don't think you should trust Tha Puerto Rican. HEAT And why not? FLY Heat...have you been in the same company that I have been in for the past four years? I mean, don't you remember? Don't you remember all the rotten, disgusting, nasty, brutal things he's done? To you? To me? To everybody in this whole damn company! I mean, he's a liar, an egomaniac, a backstabber, a heartless jerk, a selfish, self-centered, egotistical ASS! Seriously, you could tell me he's changed, but didn't he do pretty much the exact same thing he's doing right now LAST YEAR!? Remember? With D*LUX, and the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles? You didn't believe him last year, and you were eventually proven right! Why do you believe him this year? HEAT Because nobody in tha OAOAST can read Tha Puerto Rican like I can! Dude's a little shady, but he's good peoples! Trust me. He can act like an asshole, I's know dat from first-hand experience...but he's also a real cool dude once you get to know him. FLY Heat, buddy, I'm telling you. This is NOT a good idea. You can't trust this guy. He's bad news. HEAT Fly, buddy, I'm tellin' you. Youse got nothin' to worry about, homie! PRL's a'ight now. Not tha same guy he used to be. In fact, he's BETTA than he used to be! Much much better! Are you just worried that I'm gonna stop hangin' out wit you? FLY No. HEAT I's know you is! I's knows! Listen, Tha Badd Boyz thing wit PRL, that's one thing. But youse and I? We is tight for life, yo! We gonna kick it till we is in our graves! You can always count on me, man! I've got yo' back! We is partners! We is amigos! We is brothas! Ya feel me? FLY Yeah, yeah, I feel ya. I feel ya, Heat. But...still... HEAT Listen, don't worry, G. Everything is gonna be a'ight! You know what I'm sayin'? Now, we has got a BIG task ahead of us tonight. Cuban Wall. Mr. Boricua. Youse down to take them out 1-2-3 in tha middle of tha ring? Spanish Fly lights up. SPANISH FLY Oh yeah I'm down, man! Spanish Fly high fives Colombian Heat. HEAT A'ight, yo! A'ight, yo! It's frickin' payback time, man! FLY Yeah, man! HEAT Let's do it! FLY Yeah! Let's do it, maaaaaaaan! HEAT YEAH-UH~! Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly walk away. The crowd cheers. COLE Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly vs. Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua next! * COMMERCIAL BREAK *

BUFFER Wrestling fans, it is now time for the FAMILY FEUD mixed tag match! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BUFFER Currently making their way to the ring, Colonel Abdullah Abir Nerdly presents one-half of the World tag team champions and his lovely bride … LOGAN “Macho MACHO” MANN and “THE ANGEL OF DEATH” … HOLLY-WOOD!! Uneventful entrance as Logan whisks Holly down the aisle. COLE As fans of our syndicated OAOAST Pro Wrestling telecast witnessed this past weekend, Logan Mann went on a verbal tirade when our broadcast colleague Tony Schiavone brought up the subject of November Reign, claiming Rodez’s victory was a fluke. COACH It was a fluke. Plus Rodez had a handful of tights. COLE He did not! CUE: "Rock The Casbah" by Trust Company BUFFER Their opponents, hailing from Grand Rapids, Michigan…total combine weight 358 pounds, the brother/sister combination of LEON and JADE RRRRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEEZZZZZZ!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!! Always the life of the party, Leon and Jade go around slapping hands with their fans before hopping on the apron for a joint pose. As both hold out their arms triumphantly, Logan charges forward and knocks Leon off the apron with a RUNNING KNEE TO THE BACK, sending the Silky Smooth One crashing into the guardrail below! JADE * DINGDINGDING * Jade shrieks in horror as the Angel of Death yanks her over the top and delivers a devastating clothesline. Outside, Leon is thrown into the crowd after being dropped throat-first on the guardrail, and then is slammed on the concrete floor! COACH It’s November Reign all over again, Cole, expect Rodez won’t be able to squeak out the win. Despite warnings from referee Charles Robinson, Holly stomps Jade in the place babies come from and at her pain. COLE Holly totally disregarding the rulebook-- in front of the referee no less! She and Logan don’t care about winning, they just want to punish their opponents. The Angel of Death backs Jade in the corner and… “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” …chops her hard across the chest. “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Again. “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” And again. Then slams her. Holly mimics the mannerisms of her husband as she straddles the second rope, spreading her arms out to the side before take-off…BUT JADE MOVES AND HOLLY SPIKES HER KNEE INTO THE CANVAS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Even a wrestling novice such as J-Ro knows what to do next, and that’s applying the FIGURE-4 LEGLOCK! COLE The crowd is on their feet as Jade Rodez looks to make Holly tap with the figure-4. Within seconds of the hold’s application Logan Mann is perched on the top, but LEON RODEZ shoves him down!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" The Grand Rapids Golden Child removes his robe and chases after Logan, who uses Charles Robinson as a human shield. As Leon and Charles become tangled up, Logan stomps on Jade and tags in. COACH Logan, no! COLE A huge mental lapse on the part of Logan Usher Mann. He automatically made Leon Rodez the legal man by tagging in as this bout is being contested under mixed tag rules, meaning the men vs. the men and women vs. women. *clap*clap*clap*clap* Having gotten the crowd involved Leon is ready to lockup, but Logan is not, citing an unsafe working environment. Charles Robinson begs to differ and orders Logan to fight. The Macho MACHO Mann wipes his hands on the side of his trunks and leans in, only to pull back as Leon steps forward. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Logan regains his composure and locks horns with Rodez, and then drives the knee into the midsection, doubling over the Silky Smooth One. A combination of jabs to the face/body rock Leon’s world, but he recovers in time to duck under a bionic elbow and land a JAB of his own! Followed by a second, a third and a fourth. COACH Uh-oh. Leon blows the crowd a kiss, then drills Mann upside the head with an ENZIGURI~! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE Mama Said Knock You Out! Rodez drags Mann towards the center and covers. ONE… TWO… NO! Holly makes the save…and gets decked by a jumping forearm smash from Jade! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Force to restrain the youngest member of the Rodez family, Charles Robinson doesn’t see the LOW BLOW that drops Leon to his knees. To add insult to injury Logan delivers an inverted atomic drop, and then connects with his patent running axe handle smash. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Logan badmouths the New-Age Love Machine as he chokes him, breaking on 4 and a half. The Macho MACHO Mann rams Leon into the turnbuckle, then shoots him across…but Rodez avoids a corner back elbow and plants Logan with an EXPLODER SUPLEX! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Irish whip, but Logan reverses and Leon counters with a kick to the shoulder and an INVERTED LUNGBLOWER! ONE… TWO… Save by Holly. Leon ascends to the top and soars through the air, wiping Logan out with a beautiful FLYING CROSSBODY…BUT LOGAN ROLLS THROUGH AND HOOKS THE TIGHTS!! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Rodez kicks out and ducks a wicked left hook, and takes Mann down for the LIONTAMER, only to have Holly pop him as he tries to turn Logan over. LEON Leon cocks his fist and points to Holly, then puckers up. COACH Touch her and you’re a dead man, Rodez. Logan doesn’t like anyone touching his property. With such tempting options it’s hard to chose, so Leon lets the crowd decide for him. Fist or lips? “FIST!” “LIPS!” Leon thanks the crowd for their input but takes what’s behind him instead, tagging his baby sister Jade. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" J-Ro SPEARS Holly and hammers away. The Angel of Death covers up as best as she can, but Jade is ferocious in her attack, not letting up one bit. She whips Holly to the buckle and follows in, spiking both knees into the chest. Holly stumbles out and is placed in a COBRA CLUTCH, then driven straight back on Jade’s knee! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Logan grabs Jade by the ankles and crotches her on the ringpost! Leon isn’t cool with that and floors Logan. They brawl on the arena floor as Holly plants Jade with a TWISTING FISHERMEN’S SUPLEX! COACH Rodeo Driver! Leon goes to breakup the pin… ONE! TWO! …but is too late. THREE! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners… LOLLY! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Kneeling over his sister, Leon’s blindside by a top rope axe handle smash from Logan, who along with Holly proceed to put the boots to him. "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!! Before anymore damage can be done the LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS and MELODY NERDLY hit the ring. Needless to say, Lolly bail, but it doesn’t stop Logan from talking smack on his way up the ramp. COLE I doubt this is the last we’ve heard of this. More HeldDOWN to come after this time out. COMMERCIAL

From the speakers blasts LA Symphony's King Kong, and from the entrance doors waddles The Samoan Wrecking Ball Faqu. Behind him is the much more animated James Blonde, trashing talking and shadow boxing imaginary foes. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a television time limit of ten minutes! Now making his way to the ring being accompanied by James Blonde, from The Isle of Samoa...FAQU! COLE Faqu normally a resident of our Syndicated programing, but this is the second week he's gotten a chance to shine on the big stage. Last week he and his partners in Internationally Known fell to The Christ Air Express and Leon Rodez. But, he's gotta put that aside and get things done tonight. With a roster so large there's no room for failure. BUFFER And his opponent from Mobile, Alabama, Bill Boxton! Faqu leans his blubbery chest into the ring ropes, saliva dribbling down his porous mouth, as his berobed second, offers him a wealth of questionable ring advice. Rather its actually understood or valued by Faqu is debatable, for he simply posses the same primal, savage look we can only expect out of a man wrestling in his bare feet. DING DING DING No sooner then a moment after the bell rings does a roaring Faqu zoom across the ring, eager to crush his rival with his mammoth girth. But the youngster from Alabama sidesteps the incoming charge and sends the Samoan crashing into the corner posts. Stunned by the unexpected reversal, Faqu is peppered with a series of right hands. However, the attacks fail to do much damage, and he effortlessly shoves Boxton away. Boxton refuses to back down, and returns fire with a boot to the gut. Despite his weight, Faqu is actually doubled over by the attack, which gives BB the opportunity to dart to the ropes. Once he returns he slams a lariat into his larger rival's chest! But, Faqu doesn't go down and instead emits a mighty scream of defiance. COLE Folks, just a reminder that the OAOAST will be in Monterrey, Mexico on January Third for the first ever New Year's Spectacular! Not deterred by his previous failure, Boxton returns to the cables. He meets with much greater success this time, and upends Faqu with a diving shoulder block! Unfortunately there's no time to capitalize on his achievement, as Blonde has lifted himself onto the apron. Distracted by the ugly robe alone, Boxton retreats to give him such much needed fashion advice. But he doesn't get very far before he feels the constraints of a Samoan aided full nelson lock him into place. Within moments he's being brought into the sky, and slammed on the canvas by a powerful full nelson bomb! Boxton screams in terror, while Faqu towers above roaring into a night like an Alpha wolf. COACH Didn't this guy used to be semi-sane? Like, you know, he could form coherent sentences, didn't droll, and wasn't some kind of psychotic killer? Now, dude is an animal! “Finish him, man! Make this fool pay the price!” Blonde screams, while strutting on the outside. At Blonde's insistence, Faqu rips Boxton off the canvas, and jams him between his tree trunk sized legs. Letting out another frightening shout, he attaches the youth into a double underhook, then lifts him upside down into the skies. Without any prelude or warning, the former HI-YAH world champion sitsout, crunching his head into dust with the Death By Samoan (Double underhook piledriver) COLE Good lord that was one of the most feared moves in all of HI-YAH! Referee Billy Silverman counts the pinfall, as Blonde is already on the ring apron, eager to celebrate. ONE TWO THREE!!! BUFFER Your winner....FAQU! Blonde's celebration begins immediately. His bright red leather boots dance and strut across the apron, while his mouth flashes an utterly contemptible smile. Faqu, obviously shares in his partner's joy, growling in satisfaction over his massacre. COLE James Blonde and Faqu are very dangerous threats to many superstars, as we just saw here. Individually they're a worry to our singles competitors, together they can give the tag division fits, and with Nathaniel Black, they may present a formidable challenge to six man champions The Love Generation. COACH That's not that hard. Just threaten to rip up D*LUX's Krista poster, they'll fall out like two year olds. COLE They aren't that bad. Anyway, folks, let's go to Terry Taylor, who's with Mackenzie DeCenzo... Indeed Terry is backstage with Mackenzie, who wears another one of her famous made for the red carpet evening gowns, this one a yellow strapless number highlighted by thousands of sparkling sequins. TAYLOR OAOAST fans, currently I am backstage with Mackenzie DeCenzo, the Chief Financial Officer of The Enterprise. Miss DeCenzo, what was once a harmonious group, has since been turned on its ear, with your recent relationship with Alix Maria Spezia. The changes haven't been for the better, as the upper echelon of The Enterprise ranks, Christian Wright and Theodore Moneymaker have expressed outright disgust for your lifestyle choice. In fact they've both gone as far as to say you are a sin against church, country and decency. How does it feel to have your own coworkers trash and demean you so openly? MACKENZIE You tell me, Terry. Tell me exactly how I should feel. Go on Terry, indulge me with your brilliance. Let me know what I should feel like after I've been basically punched in the gut and had your my faced smeared in shit by people I thought I could trust? TAYLOR I imagine it feels pretty bad. MACKENZIE Pretty bad? Pretty bad? You have a way with understatement. It feels awful, worse then anything, worse then death when it happens. At the moment it occurs its like a bullet to the brain. The only difference is, unlike with a gunshot, when you die instantly, with this you can react, you can think, and contemplate. And all you want to think about is revenge, all you want to contemplate is finding someway to hurt the people that are hurting you and your baby. And maybe if I wasn't so level headed, so capable of calm detached thought, maybe I would've done something irrational. Ashed a cigarette in Christian Wright's eye, tossed a drink in Moneymaker's face, and slammed my resignation papers on the table. But, lucky for all of us, I am a very rational person. So, while everyone's speculated that my days in the Enterprise are fast approaching extinction, I'm here to tell you to cancel the call of the world wild life fund, I'm going nowhere. TAYLOR So you have no problem with what they said about you? Absolutely none? MACKENZIE Are you even listening to me? I have a huge problem with it! How could anyone with a pulse not feel something when people they thought were their friends want them to rot in hell? Like I said, Terry, I got hit harder then you can imagine. But I can separate emotion from business better then anyone. And yeah what Moneymaker and Wright said hurt me. It hurt me bad. But I'm not stupid enough to let my emotions get in the way of me earning money. I have worked too hard to get into the position I have to watch it all come crumbling down. I will make this work, Terry. For Alix's sake and for mine. TAYLOR And what about Alix? She to hasn't been spared from the indignation of Moneymaker and Wright. And to add to that problem, Moneymaker hasn't been shy about his belief that he can exploit her cookie company for his own gain. And what's worse the rest of The Enterprise, Molly, Ned, Simon, and CPA have all had their own mistreatments at the hands of Alix. You can't tell me she's safe within The Enterprise. MACKENZIE Alix is my world. A threat on her, is a threat on my life. And I will do anything in my power to protect her from those that want to do her harm. And that's exactly what I had to do last week during the main event. Terry is taken somewhat aback by these comments. TAYLOR What? MACKENZIE Krista is an animal uncaged. A rabid pitbull off its leash. When she and Alix were pitted in the ring against each other what everyone else thought was a hollow look of sadness, was really a vacant look of a remorseless killer. She's a monster, without any capacity for love in her heart. Only hatred and rage, and Alix was just her next victim. The old clichéd term, if I can't have her, no one will, applies very well to Krista. Her goal isn't to love Alix or protect her, its to have total, unchallenged domination of her. If she can't control Alix, she'll hurt her. Physically and emotionally. You saw it yourself. Or you might have, if I hadn't stepped in to rescue my baby. TAYLOR You're insane! MACKENZIE I'm what!? TAYLOR Insane! Krista would never hurt Alix! Never! You on the other hand, better watch your back from now on! This interview is over! Damn right it is, because Terry, growling several obscenities under his breath, storms away from Mackenzie. Unable to comprehend the audacity, Terry just conducted himself with, Mackenzie turns on her heels and walks off, leaving us to fade away. COMING UP NEXT WE ARE FAMILY Lolly Vs Leon and Jade Rodez NEXT COMMERCIAL

We cut backstage where the hallways are filled with OAOAST talent and staff, and at this moment no less a talent that Zack Malibu himself walks with a purpose through the backstage area...that is until an arm stretches out and stops him in his path! Malibu turns to the individual off camera who interrupted his stroll, and it's none other than the Metrosexual Monster himself, Bohemoth! BO Whoa...where you going, preppy? MALIBU Out to the ring. I've got a bone to pick about the way the end to the Triple Cage Match went down at November Reign, and figured what better place than here on HeldDOWN~! to air that grievance. Bo softly chuckles to himself, shaking his head. BO That's funny, because I've got a bit of an issue with how things went down that night myself. MALIBU Do you? BO Yeah...namely for the fact that I'd be World Champion if it wasn't for getting my jaw rattled like a baby's toy thanks to someone's superkick. MALIBU Hang on...you're bitching about getting superkicked? Bo, I don't have time... BO No, you do have the time. We're right here, right now, so just listen. I'll give you the chance to talk, but you need to open your ears first! Malibu is half angry, half shocked at the snap from the normally reserved hoss, but he respectfully remains silent, choosing to hear Bo out. BO I know why you're here tonight, Zack. You're going to go out to the ring and cry foul, find some way, some excuse to stay in the title hunt. Last time I checked, you've lost all your recent title opportunities. Your not exactly batting 1000 in title matches, but yet you always find a way. Now I know you've been screwed in the past by Popick, by Maddix, by PRL...but instead of whining about it, DO something about it! I've been in this company for almost three years now, and you and I, we haven't always seen eye to eye. Right now, we're more or less on the same side of things, but I'm not going to let that get in the way of how I feel. I bust my ass just like anyone else to get to where I'm at, and I got a shot to be in that Triple Cage Match. Now neither one of us walked out with the belt that night, but do you see me going out there and cutting a promo on why I should be the champion? No, because I'm gonna get back in the ring and earn the right to fight for it again. I'll go through anyone and everyone on the roster, and I'm challenging you, Zack, to do the same. ZACK You know, Bo, you make some good points. My being screwed though, that's not an excuse, or even a reason to want another title shot. It goes back to the aWo days, to Popick, to your old buddy, and you know who I'm talking about...this is a company that I helped build, and I EARNED the right to be called its Franchise. I earned the right to be the face of this company by busting my ass for the last five and a half years, going to hell and back whether it was for a belt, for this company, or for my own personal pride. I am tired of this company being represented by people who treat that belt as a trophy, disregarding what it truly means to be a champion. What you just said to me...it took balls, my friend. It took balls, and it showed you have heart, and that you're not out for the quick fix. So you know what...challenge accepted. If you're going to build yourself back up, then so am I. Now it's just a matter of who gets there first. With that, Zack extends his hand, and Bo accepts, shaking on their little agreement. BO Even if you get there first, Zack, I won't be far behind. MALIBU Likewise, big man. Likewise. Zack pats Bo on the shoulder and walks off, as Bo watches and smirks, then turns and goes his own way. The camera cuts to the backstage area where Josh Matthews is standing by. Suddenly, he sees someone he wants to talk to: Stephen Joseph Popick! Popick, wearing a black T-shirt, leather jacket, his eyeglasses, black jeans with a black leather belt, a watch on his right wrist, his wedding ring on his right ring finger, and black boots, walks into the arena carrying a black duffle bag over his right shoulder and the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. Popick walks by with a cocky smirk on his face. The crowd boos. JOSH MATTHEWS Stephen Joseph! Mr. Stephen Joseph! One question: Who were you talking to last Thursday? Who is the person you believe will get rid of Tha Puerto Rican forever? Who is the person that has a history with Tha Puerto Rican? STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Josh, you'll find out when everybody else finds out: later on tonight! Popick walks away. Josh Matthews stands there disappointed that he didn't get anything interesting or newsworthy from Popick. COLE Just who is this mystery man Popick's got in his back pocket tonight? COMMERCIAL

Kanye West, Calvin Harris, The Donnas, Cold War Kids, Tupac, and more in this weeks edition of OAOAST Theme Addict just C&P the links. True to the game, we aint fuccin w/no direct links no more. At KC'S demand..errr strongly stated request, I reupped on some of the original themes Alf posted. lol wtf this post disappered the 1st time i posted it Krista Isadora Duncan-Calvin Harris, The Girls http://sharebee.com/8472c747 New HeldDOWN themesong-Chamillionaire, Ultimate Victory http://sharebee.com/a3e7684a Alix Maria Spezia-The Donnas, Here For The Party http://sharebee.com/d06bf238 South Central Militia-Tupac, Dopefiend's Diner http://sharebee.com/e8a764b1 Rescue 911-Cold War Kids, Hospital Beds http://sharebee.com/705a554a CPA-Jay Z ft Nas, Success http://sharebee.com/2ad7a7c0 James Cone-Papa Roach, Between Angels And Insects http://sharebee.com/c939d3af Mister Warrior-Prince, Black Sweat http://sharebee.com/90674019 Zack Malibu-Papa Roach, Getting Away With Murder http://sharebee.com/7fc0e02e Alfdogg-Kansas,Magnum Opus http://sharebee.com/122c7b53 Los Conquistadors-Beck, Loser http://sharebee.com/22b44232 Team Heyross-Collective Soul,Shine http://sharebee.com/500f73d1 Popick-Kanye West, Stronger (srsly ppl u have a radio for a reason) http://sharebee.com/6537c376 Popick-Kanye West, Stronger (remix) ft. Jay http://sharebee.com/0c03b634 The Sooner Bruisers-Frankenstien http://sharebee.com/f5038088 More to come within the weeks!

The card doesn't get any lower then one of los conquesitadors i know that.

Remember how I said the HD on the week after a ppv should go up on a Friday or Saturday and not a Thursday because ppvs never go up on time? You just push the HD back to accommodate the lateness of the ppv. This would be the trial run of such an idea. from Portland, OR Rescue 911 Vs Los Conqustiadors don't call ME for this show! note its not for 911Vs Conquestiadors! Its for Team Alix Vs team Krista! send everything to Tony!

[b]Sunday Novemeber 25th The home of Krista Isadora Duncan Los Angeles, CA[/b] We're brought into the mansion of Krista Isadora Duncan, beautifully decorated with chic entertainment memrobilla, ridiculously expensive sculpture, and Jade and D*LUX...huh? Yes, that's right Jade Rodez and the D*LUX boys have woven themselves into the high society digs of Chateau Krista. But they aren't some sort of slave labor assigned to function as human statues for the entertainment of those richer then them. Actually, they're currently dusting and tidying up her dining room, and trying incredibly hard not to break anything that costs over two thousand dollars. Exhausted from all the cleaning, Jade takes a break from polishing the chandelier JADE Alright, I have to get Maya from ballet, but you can handle it here right? I'm really glad we're doing this cleaning, guys. This house is so big we could be collecting social security by the time we're done with the first floor but, I think that Krista...I think that she could use this. I have to admit this was a great idea you two. SHAYNE (from underneath the center table) You should let us think for ourselves more often. JADE You thought to clean a house, you didn't discover life on Mars, let's not go overboard. Tyler steps down from the step stool he's been using to clean a china cabniet. TYLER I think after we're done in here, me and Shayne are gonna go mop the kitchen area, probably dust off the exercise equipment in the gym, then vacuum the home theater, and then..uh...get into the bedroom for an underwearinspection. JADE What? Can you two be more subtle with your perversions? SHAYNE I don't think so. TERRY TAYLOR (off screen) Uh, Krista! Uh, Krista! Face soured by a “Oh, what now expression”, Jade departs the dining room in a huff. Venturing through eclectic décor of the hallway area, she enters one of the mansion's many unused rooms to attend to Terry's mysterious fright. The room looks fairly nondescript, being minus the many chic adornments that give character to the rest of the dwelling. Its wood floors are neatly polished and unblemished, perhaps due its utter lack of traffic. JADE Krista's on the phone, Terry. What's wrong? Face as pale as a ghost, Terry can barely get any words out his mouth as his trembling hand leads Jade's gaze up to a most distressing sight. Proudly protruding from the center wall is what can most accurately be described as a shrine to Alix Maria Spezia. Shrouding a mammoth bulletin board and highlighted by several soft spot lights are literally hundreds of pictures of Alix, some candid shots, some taken from various red carpets, others are pin-up pictures, and even more are images of her and Krista in happier times. Perhaps more unusual is the life size cardboard standup of Alix, outfitted in a Santa's little helper uniform and holding a box of Miss Spezia's Sweeties candy canes. JADE Oh wow! TAYLOR This..this..this shrine. What should I do with this shrine? Rather then say “burn it quickly”, Jade decides to call for her friend and mentor. JADE Krista! Krista, we have a problem! KRISTA (O.S.) Damn it, Terry, just because you lie in there naked doesn't make it a spa! Its my garage! JADE Krista, please come quick! KRISTA (O.S.) There better be a fire, and several very hot firewomen. Hair pulled into a ponytail and outfitted in black workout pants and a white Blondie t-shirt, Krista strolls into the room. She instantly notices the worried gazes Terry and Jade pass towards her shrine, and awkwardly tries to gloss over the embarrassment. KRISTA Paging change of subject, paging change of subject. Please answer on the white courtesy phone. JADE Krista, this is a shrine. An obsessive, borderline psychotic, possible evidence in a murder trial, shrine! KRISTA That's no big deal, really. Its nothing. JADE Terry, throw it away. KRISTA Huh? No! Krista dives for the lifesize cutout, seemingly willing to protect it until her last drop of blood has been spilt. Not so willing to spill blood, but willing to at least battle over the unhealthy creation, Jade engages in a tug of war battle with Krista. Despite the fact that she's a four time tag team champion, Krista can't quite pry her treasure away from Jade, who so desperately wants to bid the object fairwell. KRISTA Wait, wait, wait! Just let me keep this! Please! I worked really hard to get it, I had to break into a Rite-Aid in the middle of the night, and one of the school children I ran over on the escape is still in stable but critical condition. (Krista calms her voice into a low sorrowful tone) You can torch the shrine, sell it to TMZ, use it to up my date in the celeb death pool, whatever. Just let me keep this, okay? Though she'd prefer any remnants of Alix leave the house, Jade gives into Krista's compromise. JADE Fine. Okay. Terry, get a box and take all that down. Terry grabs the nearest box he can see. KRISTA Wait, not that box! Terry accidentally removes a “marital aid” from the crate, which Krista angrily snatches from him. JADE (sighing and putting her arms on Krista's shoulders) You're in a bit of a pickle, and we've got to get you back to a place called home. KRISTA I'm holding a six inch anal plug named Kong the ANALhilator. I'm about a four day drive and a boat ride away from a place called home. JADE I know it hurts, Krista, but we've got to start the process of getting over Alix. Okay? Already aware of that painful truth, Krista frowns and nods slowly. TERRY I have an idea! Maybe, you should take a vacation! KRISTA Hey,who told you you could make eye contact? TERRY (lowering his head to avoid Krista's gaze) I have an idea! Maybe you should take a vacation! Not able to be away from Krista for more then three minutes, D*LUX burst into the room to offer their “helpful” suggestions. SHAYNE Why don't you go to the Virgin Islands? KRISTA That's a great idea! JADE Its not an island full of virgins. KRISTA That's a shitty idea! TYLER Why not some place exotic? Like the historic deserts of Egypt! KRISTA No thanks. If I'm gonna get more sand up my ass then the entire country of Libya, I'd rather it be because I'm naked on the beach making love with Kate Beckinsale. JADE We're trying to get her to heal emotionally, we're not trying kick her off the continent. Isn't there an underwear inspection you need to be conducting? KRISTA Huh?! JADE Back to what we're talking about, you have a certain...I don't know what to call it. Just to say you can attract girls, I guess that's an oversimplification on what it really is. You've got a certain rare quality, maybe its an aura, just the way you carry yourself wows people. If you opened your door you'd probably have a line of women stretching all the way to China waiting for you. TYLER (very loudly, as though he were expecting someone) Who could that be? TERRY Who could who be? DING DING DONG! KRISTA (looking outside the room towards the front door) Oh goodie what OAOAST midcarder who's half my age could be at the door to offer me unsolicited romantic advice? Cuban Wall? Vinny Santana? Or maybe its James Blonde! Wouldn't that be vomit worthy? Grumbling to herself, Krista leaves the room and heads towards the door. Against her desires to scream “Get lost!” she opens the white painted door and finds a delivery woman in brown shorts and brown shirt with a bouquet of flowers standing in front of her. The flower bearing girl is beyond gorgeous, with flawless tanned skin, vibrant blue eyes, soft Scandinavian facial features, perfectly glossed red lips, and short closely cropped blonde hair that hangs a strand across her forehead and reaches no farther then past her upper neck. WOMAN (taken aback by Krista's beauty) You're Krista Isadora Duncan? KRISTA Its taken seventeen years of psychotherapy to figure it out. But, yes, yes I am. WOMAN (handing Krista a clipboard.) Congrats on your sound bill of mental health! I need you to sign this. KRISTA (signing the clipboard) Who are these flowers from? WOMAN (staring with distinct attraction at Krista) Maybe you have a secret admirer? KRISTA Note to self: add can of mace and tranquilizer darts to grocery list. WOMAN (leaning closer to Krista, to the point where she can bathe in her sweet cherry scented perfume) Is that good for you? KRISTA Well, I'd prefer flame throwers but they don't make any models that match my eye shadow...oh, you meant the signature? Yeah, uh, its good.... Eager to spend a higher quality of time with the celeb superstar, the woman hastily scrambles for conversation. WOMAN Don't you want to put them in water? With a sweet smile, Krista nods enthusiastically. Beating the thick roses against her leg, she peers through the hallway, certain that there are no vases within reach. The delivery woman trails softly behind her, unable and unwilling to pull her eyes away from Krista's traffic stopping body. Krista is one hundred percent sure that there are no vases laying in the hallway, and turns to inform the delivery girl of that fact. She catches the woman undressing her with her eyes, and can't help but blush in the face of admiration. KRISTA I don't really think we have a vase. My friends are over trying to help clean this place so I hid anything that's worth enough to fund a small Nigerian militia. WOMAN (looking upstairs, but thinking of the bedroom) Maybe, there's something upstairs? Guest room? Office? I'm sure you must have flowers in your bedroom, you can just add these right in! There's a hint of hesitation on Krista's part when she's forced to follow the woman's yearning eyes up the stairs. But within seconds it looks to dissipate, and with a small smile Krista nods her agreement, and motions the woman upstairs. The scene returns to the “shrine room”, where Jade's vile stare is yanking beads of sweat off the bodies of Shayne and Tyler. JADE What did YOU TWO do? TYLER You said she needed to start getting over Alix. We just helped speed process along, that's it! JADE I just said that two minutes ago, you must've ordered the hooker two days ago. SHAYNE We didn't order a hooker! We ordered flowers from Fat Floyd's Floristry and Flapjacks. We couldn't have known they'd be delivered by Freaking Horny Francesca. TAYLOR She must have some kind of superpower. I've never seen a girl have that kind of effect on other girls. If I had her kind of power, I'd be getting it on at least once a decade! JADE (ignoring Terry) Alright, well, I think now is a good time for a lunch break. SHAYNE Its ten in the morning. JADE I said time for a lunch break. Besides, I still have to get Maya from ballet. Not quite able to combat the finality of Jade's voice, D*LUX and Terry are forced out of the room, and eventually right out the front door.

Just a filler match in case the show isn't very long. [i]Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me? Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?[/i] Gold lights flash on and off around the entrance way as Beck's 90's classic, Loser seeps through the arena. As the entrance doors part, the biggest losers in OAOAST history, Los Conquistadors strut from the backstage area. Though they may be inclined to perform some entry way theatrics, they're hurried down the ramp by pushy production assistants, who say there's not enough time for an entrance that lasts longer then ten seconds! And when they see Los Conquistadors walking down the ramp, they furiously order them to [i]RUN[/i] so as not to take away time from the [b]important wrestlers[/b]. COACH Hahah! Even the zit faced interns clown on these suckas! [i]Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me? Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?[/i] BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall with.. [b]WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM FOR A VERY SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT[/B] [video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6QlFEL1Nfs[/video] Los Conquistadors are well past the state of disbelief that their entrance has been cut off to display a clip of a twelve year old smacking himself in the nuts. But the more pressing issue becomes that not a soul in the arena seems to care about their highly humiliating plight. They're left to only preach to the choir, complaining about a company that has deemed then less important then a teenager's testicles. COACH If Los Conquistadors ever became trapped in quicksand, not only would Lassie not run for help, but she'd whack them a few times with a severed branch to make sure he sunk properly. Dudes is lame. COLE Yes, well, the last time Los Conquistadors were allowed on HeldDOWN they lost to Holly-Wood and Melody Nerdly. Since then they've been banished to our Syndicated programing where they've been handed losses from everyone from the Christ Air Express, The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew, and James Riggs by himself. Now here is there chance to make good with a worldwide audience. Through the loud speakers emerges the somber piano keys of Cold War Kids' Hospital Beds. Hard pounding drum beats join it, melded with equally distressed vocals. [i]Tell me the story of how you ended up here I've heard it all in the hospital Nurses are fussin' Doctors on tour Somewhere in India I got one friend layin' across from me I did not choose him, he did not choose me We've got no chance of recovering Sharing hospital Joy and misery Joy and misery Joy and misery[/i] The proud owners of this STUPENDOUS entrance music, Rescue 911 step through the entrance doors to a small round of polite applause. Outfitted in black trunks and red boots, and elbow pads, EMT Tim nods to the audience before heading towards the ring. His partner stares from behind thick rimmed sunglasses, clad in a pink and white Hawaiian t-shirt, and khaki pants. He then pumps his fist and joins his partner in the trip to the ring. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of fifteen minutes...now making their way to the ring representing the OAOAST First Responders Unit, introducing first from New York City Detective Bosley, and his partner from Peoria, Illinois, EMT Tim Cash, together they are RESCUE-NINE-ONE-ONE! The poor men in gold find themselves treated with even greater disrespect, when they see that the production assistants not only don't rush them down the ramp as if they were Olympic sprinters, but they also offer them complimentary drink service! COLE Gotta love Rescue 911! Two guys who always do things the right way and the honest way. It seems like we could use a few more of their type on the roster. Eh, Coach? COACH Yeah, if we want to go out of business in six months. DING DING Cash begins the match squaring off against Uno. Having no desire to play by any sort of rules, Uno attempts to draw first blood through the use of a kick to the balls! Thankfully, the EMT catches the boot before it collides with his testicles. He gives the Conquistadors a stern warning about the low blow, which provides Dos with the distraction needed to sneak into the ring, and neckrbeaker him to the canvas! COLE Foul play! Bosley shares simillar and more vulgar sentiments, as he leans through the ropes, trying to get at the golden twins. He's held off by referee Billy Silverman, which allows the Mexican duo to double team Cash with a pair of elbow drops. Right after their strike connects, Dos scampers out of the ring, leaving Uno to make a clean pin... ONE TWO Cash kicks out of the pinfall, drawing a small cheer from the sold out audience. He leaps to his feet under his own power and begins trading strikes with the winless grappler. Understanding that he has zero chance of besting the EMT in a brawl, Uno cheats once again and eye rakes Cash. With his opponent blinded for the moment, Uno is free to retreat to his corner and bring Dos into the affair. Making his first legal appearance into the match, Dos upends the Perioa native with a running cross body block. However, any possibilities of a pin are snuffed out when Cash reverses it into a pinfall of his own... ONE TWO But, Dos kicks out! He's not out of the woods yet, though, as Cash drags him into his corner and applies the tag with Detective Bosley. Together they trap Dos into a double front facelock and raise him into the skies for a vertical suplex! But the eternal jobber manages to slip free of their grasp, landing behind them on the ring apron. Stunned, Cash is powerless to stop Dos from slamming his face into the turnbuckles. With Cash incapacitated, Dos succeeds in overtaking Bosley with a sunset flip! ONE TWO But, Pigley kicks out, and does not look entirely pleased with Dos' antics. But before he gets a chance to prove just how angry he truly is, Dos takes him off his feet with a leg sweep! As Bosley quickly rises to deal with these annoying combatants, Dos has already applied the tag to Uno. Joining their hands, they manage to surge at the New Yorker with a double lariat. But he ducks beneath their arms, and runs the ropes, returning with his mind set on a lariat of his own! But the Mexicans move a hair too quick for him and floor him with a double dropkick! COLE Wow Los Conquistadors aren't looking so bad right now! COACH Give it time. Give it time. After exchanging a high five, Dos leaves the ring. Uno is left to pepper Bosley with stomps, but after the third one becomes distracted by Cash's presence on the ring ropes. Moving with amazing speed, he launches his elbow into Cash's forehead, blasting him from the apron. As a couple fans boo the cheap shot, Dos returns to bulldoze the Detective with a running forearm smash. But Bosley is waiting for his arrival and drags him down to the canvas with an armbar takedown! However the super-agile luchadore quickly kips out of the submission hold, and runs to make a tag with his partner. COLE Lots and lots of tags from Los Conquistadors. Maybe this is their new strategy! Rather then enter the ring, Dos speedily ventures atop the turnbuckle, and flies off with a spinning wheel kick! But Bosley ducks bellow the descending missile, leaving the poor luchadore to crash and burn into the canvas! COACH I told you to give it time. And here it is. Clutching his wounded back, Dos valiantly battles to his feet. But all his achievements end there, as Bosley drives him downwards with a Serving Hard Time (Bossman Slam)! Bosley reaches forward and hooks the leg for the crucial pinfall... ONE TWO BROKEN UP BY UNO! Uno begins hammering Bosley with punches, even as the officer of the law begins to stand. Though he's more then capable of handling Dos by himself, Bosley is given some helpful assistance by his partner who nails him with punches of his own. Unable to resist the dual police brutality, Uno is reduced into a whimpering wreck. That's just perfect for Detective Bosley who hits him with his NYPD-DT (Suplex into a DDT)! As Cash leans against the ropes, celebrating the upcoming victory, the referee counts the pinfall.. ONE! TWO! THREE! Bosley immediately dismounts Dos and gives his partner a warm hug for their accomplishment. BUFFER The winners of this match as a result of pinfall...RESCUE 911 COLE Not a bad showing for Rescue 911! After spending most of 2007 on the losing end, Rescue 911 is closing out the year very strongly, riding a six match winning streak. And with the Anderson Cup starting in January, you have to wonder if they can carry that momentum over into such an important tournament. COACH Rescue 911 beats little kids from OAOVW, and Los Conquistadors for their wins. That tournament will probably feature the likes of The Beverly Hills Blonds, Team Heyross, The Christ Air Express. So, you're answer is a big fat no. Who even knows if Rescue 911 will be allowed into the tournament? [size="3"][b][color="#0000FF"]Your One and Only New Year's Celebration[/color][/b][/size] [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/newyears2.jpg] [size="3"][b][color="#696969"]January 3, 2008-Monterrey, Mexico[/color][/b][/size]

DING DING DING Valentine strides towards Biff for a lockup. However, Atlas has little intentions on starting the contest on even footing and smashes his boot into his foe's midsection. As Vinny's blubber jiggles wildly from the assault, Biff snatches him into a side headlock. After a quick nod of satisfaction towards Moneymaker, Biff flings the disco duck over with a headlock takedown. Vinny crashes into the canvas with a thud, and his neck snaps awkwardly against Biff's grip. Despite this, he's able to kip up and power his way out the hold. Unfortunately he doesn't succeed in doing much more then that, as Atlas delivers an insulting smack to his cheek! Biff then punishes Vinny with a round of clubbing forearms. The shots sting mightily, and weaken Valentine to his knees, as he struggles to escape the raw power of his rival. His venture takes him towards the ropes, where he's forced to tighten his hand around the middle cable in order to support himself. But Biff makes these efforts futile ones by clubbing Vinny down to the mat. With Valentine crippled by the strikes, Atlas drops on top of him for a pin that's scored by Charles Robinson..... ONE! TWO! But Vinny kicks out, drawing applause from The Docs and Shayne, and wonderement from Krista, who can't quite figure out why John Travolta is on her team. Atlas scrapes Vinny off the mat by his gaudy pants, and shoots him into a neutral corner. The disco machine manages to stave off a nasty collision with the ring posts by clamping down on the ropes and skidding his snakeskin boots to a halt. Apparently he finds this to be a noteworthy achievement as evidenced by his decision to turn to the audience and ask, “IF YOU LIKE DISCO MUSIC THEN LET VINNY V HEAR YA!” [img=http://www.tscherald.com/assets/images/Disco_stu.jpg] “Disco Stu likes Disco Music!” Biff obviously is no fan of the disco, as evidenced by the fact that he smashes Valentine's body into the ropes with a bodysplash. While Vinny slumps to the canvas as though he's been hit by a bullet train, Atlas begins going through a tai-chi routine to keep him closer to mother earth. “CUM SERVICING SLUT QUEENS!” Tony screams, which somehow Krista takes as an invitation to jump off the apron and try and leave. “Miss Krista, where are you going?” Shayne asks. “I'm going to go drink the beers required to make that dude's gimmick entertaining.” Pleased by his decimation of Vinny, Biff tags in Mister Moneymaker, and even goes as far as to hold open the ropes for the Billion Dollar Heir. While, Moneymaker may get the royal treatment from the former NRG member, the capacity crowd is much less warm and their hatred comes fast and heated. [b][color="#A0522D"]“MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS!”[/color][/b] “SILENCE!” Christian screams, and of course gets the exact opposite of the word he called for. Paying no mind to the rantings of the audience, Moneymaker saunters into the ring with an elbow drop with Vinny's name on it. Unfortunately that Vinny must not have the last name Valentine, as the disco duck manages to slide away from the incoming bomb. Moneymaker's arm slams off the canvas, etching a look of deep frustration onto his rugged facial features. Having little desire to cross a billionaire, Vinny quickly scurries to his corner and allows Doctor Stephen Pigley into the affair. Pigley attempts to make a flashy entrance into the affair by launching a slingshot cross body block at his rival. But Moneymaker is well prepared for the assault, and Pigley lands harmlessly into his arms. What's not so harmless for the studmuffin is the fall forward slam Moneymaker punishes him with! Crushed beneath the massive girth of the tycoon, Pigley hollers out in pain, painting a toothy grin across Moneymaker's face. “MONEY TALKS, BULLSHIT WALKS!” Moneymaker bellows as he bounds towards the ropes. When he reaches the cables, he swipes Brave with a cheapshot, and as the fans jeer his audacity he storms back with his fist angled for Pigley's handsome face. Without giving the buff stud a second to sheild his features, Moneymaker's body screams downward and smashes the doc with the [b][color="#ADFF2F"]Fistful of Dollars[/color][/b] [b]“BOOOOOOO!”[/b] Robinson warns against Moneymaker's usage of a closed fist, but encounters the trouble of Mackenzie trying to convince him that it was more of a one-handed downward mongolion chop full of dollars then a fistful. Moneymaker doesn't seem overly concerned with the admonishments, and instead peacocks about the ring, singing, “CHING-CHA-CHING-CHA-CHING MONEY LOVES ME AND I LOVE IT! CHING-CHA-CHING-CHA-CHING, THERE'S NO ONE IN THE WORLD THAT I LOVE MORE! CHING-CHA-CHING-CHA-CHING I'D SELL MY OWN SOUL FOR A DOLLAR OR FOUR!” Worried, Alix looks to Mackenzie, “Uh, does he do that often?” “Usually he does it in poetry format. And BUTT naked.” Done with his mini-concert, and thankfully fully clothed, Moneymaker drapes his arm across Pigley's chest for a pinfall... ONE! TWO! However, Pigley shoots his shoulder upward! Hastily, he pulls himself off the canvas, but finds no moment to attack, thanks to the carefully timed punches Moneymaker lays into his shredded stomach. Having been quickly weakened by the powerful attacks, Pigley can't prevent the heir to the Moneymaker fortune from snagging him into a front facelock. And as Moneymaker drags him into the sky for a vertical suplex, all he can do is brace for an impact that turns out to be monumentally painful! COACH Even the most basic moves look sweeter when their done by a billionaire! Moneymaker peels his foe off the canvas, and shoots him into the ropes. Once the MD makes his return, Moneymaker's golden boot plants itself into his midsection. The affects of the attack are crippling, doubling Pigley over and leaving him paralyzed. The moneyed man takes quick advantage of Pigley's weakened state, grabbing onto his neatly parted hair and simply slamming him backwards to the canvas. The detestable move is cause for celebration from the Yale alum, as he parades around the ring, performing his infamous money fingers gesture. [color="#8B0000"][b]“MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS!”[/b][/color] After scowling at the audience, Moneymaker attempts a second pinfall... ONE! TWO! But, Pigley kicks out and pays for it with no less then eight punches to his handsome face. Leaving Pigley behind to attend to a nearly broken nose, Moneymaker retreats his corner to bring his trusted bodyguard, Christopher Patrick Allen into the contest. COLE And here comes CPA, who has quietly put together an amazing won-loss record in 2007. And now he may loudly and violently dismantle Pigley in about seven seconds! As Pigley unsteadily rises to his feet, Allen aims to do just that, by throwing a lariat towards his head. The doctor regains enough of his wits to shoot bellow the oncoming strike and speed towards the ropes. The cables spit him back towards CPA far faster then he would've liked, preventing him from offering an offensive strike which leads to his downfall at the hands (or feet) of a big boot! Plummeted backwards to the canvas, Pigley emits a steady stream of anguished groans as his teammates (well four of them at least), begin a much needed attempt to rally him to victory. “OINK! OINK! OINK!” they chant, while Krista contemplates the logistics of executing a triple homicide. “Come on Miss Krista, let's here you oink!” Shayne implores her. “I'd sooner sleep with [i]you[/i] then oink on national television.” SHAYNE [img=http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/059.gif] “Errrrr....OINKOINKOINKOINK! MOOO! MOOO! QUACK! QUACK!” she spews. Krista's decision to support him rather then risk sleeping with Zac Effron's biggest fan, provides Doctor Pigley with all the encouragement he needs to battle upright. Unfortunately for him, that encouragement does nothing to hinder the burly bodyguard from steamrolling him with a thunderous shoulder tackle! “SCROTUM FACED SHIT BUBBLE!” Tony hollers. Noticing Krista's reaction to his cousin Vinny tries to make peace. “Uh, he has a disease.” “And I have a gun.” Back in the ring, Pigley slowly rises off the canvas. In spite of his considerable anguish, he tries to go on the attack by shooting his black boot towards the ex-boxer's midsection. But, Allen catches hold of his foot, and with a primitive snarl throws it back to the canvas. The simple counter pushes Pigley dangerously off balance, and he's left helpless as CPA mutilates him with a lariat! Quite happy with his thorough drubbing of his weak opponent, Allen celebrates with a round of shadow boxing. Upon finishing that bit of showmanship, Allen applies the tag to mother earth's favorite son, Biff Atlas. COACH Pigley bout to get dat ass swung on by an ol environmentally conscious nigga! Eying down Pigley much the same way a gluttonous lion eyes down his prey, Atlas patiently waits for his rival to rise. Once he does, Bono's Favourite Wrestler charges with full steam, leaping into the sky to strike down his foe with the [b][color="#4169E1"]Polar Knee Cap[/color][/b] (running high knee). Pigley is bowled over by the trademark strike, and instantly clutches a face that has swelled towards deep purple hues. Not content with one nature-themed move, the former nutrition guru agilely hops onto the highest cable for his pattended [b]earthsault[/b]. Before dismounting his roost the Biffster offers the viewing world a timely public service announcement, “AMERICA, GIVE A HOOT, PLEASE DON'T POLLUTE!” While the OAOAST brass wonders if they fired the wrong NRG member, Biff rockets through the skies with a graceful moonsault. Unfortunately, midway through his descent, his grey eyes observe his enemy slowly rolling out of position. Suddenly panic stricken, Biff adjusts course on his descent, and barely succeeds in landing on his aquamarine boots. The unexpected landing moves him slightly off balance, which provides Pigley with a perfect opportunity to tag in Doctor Anderson! COLE Paging Doctor Anderson! The doctors of doctornomics pair up on Atlas, each taking an arm and thrusting him into the ropes. Whatever feeling of gusto and bravado they were operating under are immediately annihilated by Atlas, as he returns to floor Pigley with a polish hammer. Watching his partner topple to mat draws rage onto Anderson's face, and he attempts to unleash his anger on his rival with a straight left. But Biff moves far to fast for the doctor, and zooms towards the ropes. They spit him back like a bat out of hell, and he easily mows down Anderson with a spear! COACH [b]The Al GOORREE!![/b] As Moneymaker and Wright applaud his performance, Atlas hooks the leg for a pin... ONE TWO But the snakeskin shoes of Vinny Valentine break up the pinfall. More annoyed, then angered by Valentine's interference, Biff casually rids himself of the disco maniac with a spine buster. Not bothering to pay the colorless corpse of Vinny a second glance, Atlas returns his attention back to Anderson and bounces off the ropes in preparation for another spear. As the dazed figure of the doc staggers off the canvas, Biff lowers his shoulder to lacerate his foe. But, much to his surprise and dismay, the good doctor slides out the way, and Atlas is left to destroy his shoulder against the steel ringposts. “OOOOOH!” Hollering for assistance, Biff stumbles away from his accident scene. He's desperate to apply a tag with his team, but as he turns to meet the waiting hand of Christian, he's dragged down by Pigley's rollup! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!! [b]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Biff Atlas Eliminated by: Max Anderson (pinfall) Advantage: Team Krista, 5-4 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/b] At a loss for words to explain how he got eliminated by one half of a tag team that's won two matches in two years, a dejected Biff sulks to the backstage area. The audience gives Doctor Anderson a decent sized applause, but still aren't overly convinced the male members of Team Krista are anything but deadweight. COLE Just the fact that Team Krista has scored an elimination by someone other then the woman herself is cause for great celebration. COACH Yo, I ain't trynna dis Biff nothing, but he could've just as easily been an alternate for Team Krista. Moneymaker, you a billionaire, shoulda just paid Chris Stevens to be the fifth man. Disturbed by the fact that he won't see his predicted clean sweep, Moneymaker gruffly orders Wright into the ring to destroy the MD. Just as eager to see Team Krista's expected destruction as his boss, Wright throws himself over the ropes. But, he has little time acclimate himself to the ring before he's put under attack by punches from the muscle stud. Quickly weakened by the strikes, Wright is hurled into a neutral corner. His back skids off the turnbuckles, and he's dizzeledly staggered back towards Doc Anderson, who flattens him with a kobashi spinning back fist! COLE Now, Team Krista is cooking! COACH Two moves, one a rollup and the other a little twirling slap, after eight solid minutes of beatings is not what I would call cooking. Anderson tediously hauls his verbose foe off the mat, and traps him into a front facelock, setting up a vertical suplex. But before Wright's Brooks Brothers shoes can even leave the floor, he reverses Anderson's efforts into a suplex of his own! The studmuffin's attractive figure crunches into the canvas, drawing concerned gasps from several female audience members. Unwilling to yield on his assault, CW brings Anderson to his feet, then promptly drives him backwards with his second suplex. Rather then seek the customary third suplex, The Natural floats over for a pinfall.... ONE TWO Anderson shoots his shoulder off the canvas, a gutsy show of resiliency that earns him a face to face meeting with Wright's dress shoes. Eventually, Wright grabs onto Anderson's meticulously gelled hair and roughly hauls him to his feet. He twists Anderson's arm behind his back and slides his head through his right arm. CW continues to contort his rival by gripping hold his left leg. With the MD fully under his control, The Natural lifts him into the air, then dips sideways. Doctor Anderson's arm is snapped against the canvas, and then crushed beneath the descending two hundred twenty five pounds of the former HI-YAH world champion. [font="Arial Black"][color="#CD853F"][b]“CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS!”[/b][/color][/font] COACH The Enterprise is back to beastin on these suckas. Biff Atlas hit a bump in the road, but this match has been all Team Alix the time. The object of the fans' intense hatred drags Doctor Anderson off the canvas, and stuns him with a succession of body blows. With the ex-stripper dazed by the attacks, Wright is able to foist him onto his shoulders for the [b][color="#006400"]Bank Roll[/color][/b] (Rolling Fireman's Carry ) “Cower, pesants, your master has readied the bankroll!” Wright gloats. Informing your foe of your next move? Not a good idea. Informing him of it in words that involve more then two syllables? An even worse idea, as it provides Anderson with more then enough time to glide down Wright's back and snatch him into rear waistlock. Wright tries with great desperation to pry Doctor Anderson's death grip away from his stomach, but its too little too late, and the Windy City native upends him with a German suplex! “Egads, my neck!” Wright moans just moments after crashing into the floor. “I once stole a bra from sears because my mom wouldn't let me have one. I wrapped it around a telephone pole and practiced uhooking it, while I whispered sweet nothings into its ear. I made America's funniest home videos .” Alix states Mackenzie wonders, “Alix, honey, what does that have to do with anything?” “Nothing, I thought we were just swapping stories. Didn't realize this was all about Christian day! Sorry!” “Silence, you dolt!” Wright barks back. “Dolt? At least I'm smart enough to have sex with women! Hmph! What are you doing here anyway, shouldn't you be at the West Hollywood Y bobbing for boyfriends?” “ARGH!” He screams ferociously. Against any desire for teamwork in his body, he charges his annoying partner, ready to smash her into oblivion. Unfortunately his path to Alix encounters deathly roadblock in the form of an Anderson Spinebuster from the doctor of love! While Alix laughs at Wright's misfortune, and Mackenzie tries not to, Anderson delights the non-lesbians by gyrating that heavenly body. COACH Love Doctors is terrible. Type of generic ass jobbers that make me wish Doctor Jesus got up in they mamas' womb with a golden coat hanger. The voices of the cheering females are raised several octaves, as the little girls in attendance are delighted to see Shayne Brave tagged into the affair. However, they're far less pleased to watch him be eye raked by a suddenly recuperated Christian Wright. As the grade school contingent douses him with hatred, he snaps the cute boybander's arm down with an arm lock, then drags him into his corner. Despite the fact that there exists a large number of fans calling for Alix's arrival into the bout, Wright completely ignores his captain and slaps hands with Mister Moneymaker. [b][color="#FFA500"]“DEATH TO MONEYMAKER! DEATH TO MONEYMAKER!”[/color][/b] While the billion dollar heir steps into the ring, Wright fastens Brave into a side russian leg sweep position. From there, Moneymaker positions himself behind the fresh faced youngster, and reaches over his shoulder to tighten his hands around his chin. Once Moneymaker's barks the signal, Wright rips himself and Brave backwards. The mogul follows suit, sinking to the canvas to batter Brave with a neckbreaker! Right as Showtime slides off his attackers' bodies, the little girls cry as if they just found out Hannah Montana was canceled. Moneymaker, on the other hand, finds Shayne's agony quite comical, and chuckles loudly as he pins him... ONE TWO Brave forcefully kicks out! “YEAAAAAAA!” Clutching his sore neck, Showtime Shayne pulls his figure off the mat. But he lifts himself directly into a boot to his thin stomach. Caught off guard by the strike, he stumbles awkwardly until wrestling's richest man traps him into place with an underhook. The adored teen idol is then ripped off his feet and smashed into the mat with a double arm suplex. Moneymaker then halts any possibilities of resurgence by pinning down Brave with his exquisitely decorated gold boots. Once he's assured the teenyboppin cutie is subdued, he charges towards the ropes, and returns to plant a Hogan-esque leg drop onto the teenybopper's throat! As Brave gasps for his rapidly fleeting air, Moneymaker continues his mocking of VH1 reality stars, by performing Hogan's famous ear cup routine. [b][color="#FFA500"]“DEATH TO MONEYMAKER! DEATH TO MONEYMAKER!”[/color][/b] Having grown bored with beating on a teenager half his size, The Enterprise CEO tags Christian Wright back into the affair. COLE Is there a reason they're not tagging in their own team captain?? COACH Uh, maybe because they hate her guts, and are only tagging with her 'cause SuperLez Mackenzie made them. CW renters the ring in a flourishing velocity so fast that Shayne scarcely has a moment to register his charge before a running knife edge chop slams brutally into his chest! Krista tries to rally her hanger-on/stalker, “Come on, Shayne! You can do it! Cling to hope like Amy Winehouse claims to her final shred of dignity!” Heaving for breath, Brave courageously attempts to fight to his feet. But the task is made all but impossible when CW awkwardly bends his arm forward, and hooks Showtime's elbow underneath his shoulder. Reveling in Shayne's cries, the DC native attaches his hands to his black arm bands and presses down, generating more pressure. Brave spends a monumental amount of energy to break free, screaming and yelling while he tries to pull Wright's hand away from his. But, The Natural counteracts these efforts by straddling the boybander's skinny body, making escape a hugely difficult task. Without any hope of shredding Wright's vice grip, Brave is forced to use an especially dirty tactic. He drives his finger deep into CW's onyx eyes, earning a pained roar from Wright, but also earning his freedom. As the crowd continues to root him on, Showtime rushes towards the cables. Upon his return, the wordy grappler crushes all his momentum with a standing spear. He follows that signature hold up with a quick pin... ONE TWO But, Brave kicks out, pleasing the fanbase, but enraging Wright. He rips Brave off the canvas by his highlighted locks, and punishes him with another arm wrench. Brave emits a pained yelp, but his agony quickly grows worse as The Natural pulverizes the limb with a single arm DDT. Wright's highly pleased by his dominant performance, and signifies his strength by beating his fist into his chest. “WE LOVE SHAYNE! WE LOVE SHAYNE!” the little girls sing, trying to get him to remember what he's fighting for. Actually Shayne is fighting for the hot lesbian on the ring apron, who's trying her hardest to distract Wright. Bubblegum pink lips curved into charming smirk, Krista leans over the ropes, allowing Wright's widened eyes to rollick through the sweet valley of flesh that is her fabulously large twin peaks. “Hey, handsome, if you think these are impressive. How about I rip off my clothes and give you the type of lapdance Moneymaker's sister usually charges fifteen dollars or a brick of cocaine for in the alley behind Jack N The Box?” MONEYMAKER [img=http://fc02.deviantart.com/fs19/f/2007/258/1/2/swearing_by_8BitLoser.gif] There's no honor amongst thieves and there seems to be no honor amongst guys who may have been breast fed for too long as child, because Wright predictably takes Krista's jiggling bait. But, as always is the case with Krista's fleshy trickery of Christian, Mister Wright is left with a serious case of blue balls and a major league headache thanks to the running bulldog Showtime Shayne strikes him with! “YEAAAAAA!” COLE Shayne just driving Christian Wright to the mat, and making a major play for his team. COACH That had nothing to do with his team, he just wanted to cut in line with for the lap dance! Coach may have point, but Shayne acts like a perfect gentlemen, performing a minor miracle in keeping his gaze off her chest, as he brings his celeb-crush into the match! [size="5"][font="Arial Black"][color="#FF0000"]“YEAAAAAAA!”[/color][/font][/size] the huge colors mean they like her! Less enamored with her presence is Mackenzie DeCenzo, who becomes even more disturbed when she notices a distinct gleam sparkling in Alix's eyes. Showing why she may be the only wrestler ever nominated for an Emmy, Krista cranks on the faux-tears of joy, and with arms reaching towards the roaring audience, pours her heartout to them, “I haven't had an orthodox career, and I've wanted more than anything to have your respect. The first time I didn't feel it, but this time I feel it, and I can't deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me! You really like me!” “Uh, Krista?” Stephen notes. “Huh? Oh.” SUPERKICK TO WRIGHT! “Now where we? Ah, yes, Romeo and Juliet Act IV, scene 1. I begin. Shall I speak ill of him that is my husband? But wherefore, villain, didst thou kill my cousin? That villain cousin would have killed my husband. My husband lives, that Tybalt would have slain; And Tybalt's dead, that would have slain my husband.” Alix can't help but crack a soft smile at the fact that her ex-girlfriend has actually halted a match to recite classic English literature. Her current girlfriend? Not so amused. And her white heels quickly elevated her to the ring apron, where she appears ready to give Krista a piece of her mind. Krista comments, “Well, well, look what the cat, cleaned up, bathed, lipsticked, exfoliated, mascaraed, manicured, face lifted, tummy tucked, liposuctioned, Guccied up and dragged in. What's that? Are ya saying something to me? Sorry I'm not fluent in filthy skank. Someone tell Moneymaker's sister to leave the glory hole and come and translate!” MONEYMAKER [img=http://fc02.deviantart.com/fs19/f/2007/258/1/2/swearing_by_8BitLoser.gif] Robinson joins Alix in trying to convince a heated Mackenzie to depart the ring apron. This massive distraction of having to calm the fury of a woman scorned, allows The Enterprise's director of security to sneak into the affair. He grabs Krista by the arm and shoots her into the ropes. When the blond beauty makes her return his elbow swings out in order to mangle her fetching features. But the plodding blow never comes close to reaching her, as she ducks bellow his mammoth arm. Her four hundred dollar heels journey her to the ring ropes, and she leaps on top of them, using them as a launching pad to spring board back at her rival. Allen tries to swat her out of the air, but again meets with failure, when her arms noose around his neck, and crush him into the canvas with an inverted ddt. [size="2"][b][font="Arial"][color="#FF0000"]“KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!”[/color][/font][/b][/size] “Hey, I did that in heels, you can at least use a fancier font.” [color="#FF8C00"][b][size="3"][font="Times New Roman"]“KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!”[/font][/size][/b][/color] Exasperated by the constant torment from his eternal archenemy, Moneymaker enters the fray to gain a whiff of revenge. Unfortunately all he gains is a whiff of her Valentino rock n rose perfume, as the fitness queen runs himover with a crowd thrilling high flipping lariat. Seemingly as delighted by the attack as the audience is Alix Maria Spezia, who does her best to try and hide her happiness for Krista's performance. But, Krista doesn't have any time notice the pleasure she's brought Alix, due to the fact that CPA has returned to life with a discus punch. Once more, Allen's movements are unbelievably slow, and the foxy mama easily rolls beneath his spinning frame. Her lovely legs then put her on the attack by whipping around, and smashing him with a wheel kick. However, the shot fails to floor Allen, and he remains upright, wobbling like the world's largest punching bag. This isn't much of problem for Krista; the buxom covergirl and she snakes her arms around his thick neck, and launches her body forward, leaving his unprotected face to collide with the mats at the hands of the [font="Arial Black"][color="#FFFF00"]Blonds Never Pay a Cover[/color][/font](side effect) [font="Arial Black"][color="#FF0000"]“KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!”[/color][/font] Cheers quickly degenerate into boos, once the fans watch Wright shove (or ass grab if we're being frank) Krista to the canvas. But if there were any chance for Wright to earn payback on his long time scourge, its dumped to the wayside by the Love Doctors, who blast him with a double lariats! As the fans cheer their treatment of Wright, Steven (I always thought it was Stephen!) shoots The Natural's testicles into his chest cavity with a deliriously painful atomic drop. COACH Safe to say Wright won't be able to fall for anymore of Krista's tricks for a while. While Pigley keeps a whining Wright locked into place, Anderson builds up steam by running the ropes. Unable to break free of the ex-stripper's constricting bonds, CW can do nothing more then shriek in horror, as a pair of black boots scream towards his face! They smash into him like a battering ram, propelling him from Pigley's hold, and depositing him onto the canvas, where the crowd cheers his miserable demise. Mackenzie mutters to Alix, “Christian, screams like a woman.” “Don't flatter him he screams like a [i]girl[/i].” Above Wright's wretched corpse, the docs provide their starving female fans with the tasty treat they've been yearning for, writhing their smooth bodies through a spicy stripper routine. Alix happily comments, “Wow, Christian this is only slightly less embarrassing then then when you met John McCain at the young republicans meeting with a pee spot on your pants.” “Damnnation! It was Sprite!” "Yeah, maybe going in, dude." While Alix and Christian ignore the greater issue of why he can't control his bladder, Allen overtakes the dancing medical professionals with a pair of forearms. Anderson immediately sinks to the canvas, but. Pigley on the other hand remains upright, and tries to trade blows with the director of security. However, he's no Mike Tyson (or even Balrog from Street Fighter) and ends up getting ravaged by the lethal combination of crosses the ex-boxer tortures him with. Having wounded Pigley with basic attacks, Allen is free to move onto more devastating holds. Thus Allen splatters the much smaller grappler onto the canvas with a powerslam! Feeling Pigley's body sag into unconsciousness beneath him, Allen attempts a pinfall.... ONE! TWO! Vinny Valentine breaks up the pin by slashing the point of his elbow across Allen's bald head. But, the disco duck quickly pays the price for his meddling; Moneymaker loosens several of his teeth with a powerful [b][color="#006400"]$[/color][/b][b]Billion Dollar Knee Lift[/b][b][color="#006400"]$[/color][/b]! He falls sideways, landing on the canvas with a harsh thud, as blood begins trickling from his lips. Thankfully he's spared from further thrashings as Krista Isadora Duncan introduces Moneymaker to the mats with a half nelson facecrusher. “YEAAAAAA!” In celebration of her victory, Krista shouts "They tryin to play the girl like shes saccarin. But ain't nothin sweet 'bout how i hold my gun [b]I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one[/b]. COACH Hey, you know what I just realized? Biff Atlas really sucks. But, Krista finds her joy short lived, as she finally notices Alix failing to suppress a smile at her antics on the ring apron. Yet, this moment of distraction costs her dearly as the recovered Christian Wright flings her into a corner. Moving with a stunning grace and agility, the former Guns N Roses dancer leaps onto the third rope to avoid a disastrous crash with the turnbuckles. As she perches atop the turnbuckle, Wright feasts upon the delectable view of her perfectly toned BUTT framed by skimpy black panties. An ass that shines like the moon in a clear night sky. Round, firm and tan. A delightful grace and buoyance. Krista seems to notice Wright's admiration, and wiggles her tush, which just melts Wright into slobbering goo. Goo that's face crushed by Shayne Brave. Or would be face crushered, had Shayne not been distracted by the bootylicious bouncing on the top rope, and missed CW entirely. Ignoring, her admirer's pubescent stupidity, Krista exits her nest with a moonsault press! She crashes into Wright with incredible ferocity, and Robinson counts the ensuing pinfall... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! Inexplicably, Tony Tourette pulls Krista out the ring! While, the fans may boo Tony's complete lack of common sense, Krista just sighs and says “I know, I know, you have a disease.” “CHRISTIAN WRIGHT TONGUED BATHED MY ASSHOLE!” Tony hollers. Back in the ring, Shayne Brave is locked into a loosing battle with the raw punching power of CPA. After nailing the boybander with a devastating body blow, Allen roughly wraps his tree trunk sized arms around his slender waist. As Brave feels like his body is about to be ripped in half by CPA's brute strength, he's lifted onto his shoulders in setup for the [b]dominator[/b]! The audience holds their collective breath, fearful over the fate soon to befall the teen scream. But this horrific ending remains forever lost in their imaginations, because Showtime is rescued by the king of dance floor, Vinny Valentine. As happy as the audience is to see Shayne live to fight another day, CPA is every bit as incensed, and attempts to dismantle his annoying foes with a double lariat. But they counter his attack, by thrusting their boots into his midsection. The makeshift pair give the bruiser little time for a counterattack, as they quickly unload a round of kicks into his knees. The searing of pain of their strikes becomes too much for the Ohio native to bear, and his weakened legs sag him to the mat. Gasping in rage and fear, he watches while the pair retreats to opposite ropes. When they return his vision is clogged by the dropkicking boots of Brave, and the back of his head is decimated by the same maneuver from Valentine! Cheers scream from every inch of the beach front venue, as a lifeless Allen sinks to the mat. COLE A D*LUX special, New Kicks On The Block, and a D*LUX concussion for ol CPA! Brave and Valentine lay their arms across Allen's chest, and ref C.Rob counts the pivotal fall... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE!! [b]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Christopher Patrick Allen Eliminated by: Shayne Brave and Vinny Valentine (pinfall) Advantage: Team Krista, 5-3 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/b] “YEAAAAAA!”scream the fans. SHAYNE AND VINNY [img=http://fc05.deviantart.com/fs21/f/2007/266/4/c/182___Dance_Together_Emoticon_by_witegots.gif] MONEYMAKER [img=http://www.websmileys.com/sm/mad/1336.gif] If there where a smiley indicating violently tearing one's hair out, and jumping up and down on the outside as if a colony of fire ants invaded your wrestling tights, then I might have used it, because that's exactly what Moneymaker does. His overeaction to his team's stunning refusal to squash their disadvantaged foes, further pleases the fans, who taunt him for his misery. Still a semi-loyal member of The Enterprise, despite the fact that her boss wants her to burn in hell, Mackenzie turns towards her bored out of her mind girlfriend, “Alix, baby, you have to do something!” Not too concerned with the plight of her “team”, Alix shurgs her shoulders, “Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, flow sista, Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, go sista. He met Marmalade down in old Moulin Rouge Struttin’ her stuff on the street She said, “Hello, hey Jo, ya wanna give it a go?” Oh! uh huh. Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya da-da (Hey hey hey) Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here (here!) Mocha Chocalaaaata ya ya (Oh yeah!) Creooooooole ladaaaaaay Marma-la-la-la-lade. Voulez vous couchet avec moi ce soir? Voulez vous couchet avec moi?” “Not that, baby! Something else! “Ohhhhhh....In west Philadelphia born and raised, on the playground where I spent most of my days. Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool, and all shooting some b-ball outside of the school. When a couple of guys said "we’re up in no good" Started making trouble in my neighbourhood I got in one little fight and my mom got scared. And said "you’re moving with your aunte and uncle in bel-air." The one member of Team Alix who isn't distracted by song or blind anger, Christian Wright tries to calm things before their odds truly become insurmountable. He charges at Brave, looking to lacerate him with his trusty spear. But the teenager's denim jeans stretch through the air in a leap frog, putting Wright on a collision course with the ring posts. Fortunately for him, he manages to turn the deadly posts to his advantage and leap onto the second floor. As the cute teenybopper turns to face him, Wright is already halfway through the air, cutting him down with a diving shoulder tackle! The audience boos Wright's besting of brave, but they barely register on his mind, as he turns attention to Vinny Valentine. Krista shouts, “Come on Vinny, you can do it! You're the rough take no shit teenager from the inner city of Detroit with a heart of gold as big as all get out!” “Uh,I'm from New York and I'm forty two years old.” “Yeah, whatever, I have a manicure in an hour.” After that wonderful pep talk, the disco duck tries to stun CW with a standing sunsent flip, but the muscular financial guru refuses to be brought to the mat. Rather then wage a pointless war with The Natural, Vincent lets him go free, and journeys towards the ropes. The cables spit him back towards Wright, who greets his return by capturing him into his arms. The disco duck is spun like a disco ball before finally having his back shattered across Wright's outstretched leg by a tilt-a-whirl slam! The Natural roughly shoves his whimpering rival off his khaki pants leg and attempts a pin... ONE TWO Valentine kicks out, but still continues whimpering in pain as his hands move to massage his injured back. But, CW pries his arm away from his wounds, using it as a rope to drag him upright. He then throws the disco duck into the ropes. When the cables throw him back, Wright catches him with a lightening fast arm drag! The moment Vinny hits the mat, his screams are steady and loud. But their muffled by the two hundred twenty five pounds that lie across him for a pinfall... ONE TWO Valentine raises his shoulder from the mat, but not without incurring severe pain through his limbs. On the outside Tony senses that his cousin needs more help then his limited skillset can offer, and thusly leaps onto the ring apron to pull Wright's attention away from the lord of the disco dance. “PISS IN MY EAR! PISS IN MY EAR!” Tony screams to Christian. Wright stares at Tony, and wonders why god would allow such a miserable creation to exist. But, beyond that he pays Tourettes no mind, and returns to the duty of pumelling Vinny. Unfortunately its Vinny who pummels him, by smashing a trilogy of elbows of into his noggin! VINNY [img=http://fc05.deviantart.com/fs5/i/2005/126/5/8/Disco_Fever_by_SaturnsRevolution.gif] That little throwback to 70's winds up coming bundled with an extreme price for Vinny; Christian smashes his knee into his midsection, doubling him over in burning agony. From there CW snares him into an underhook and promptly rips him into the air. Nary a second later, Valentine is powered into the canvas at the hands of the [b]Nightmare On Wallstreet![/b] “CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS!” Mackenzie may share somewhat similar sentiments, and yells, “Tag Alix!” “Never! She shalt receive no more then fleer and scorn, for as long she holds unrepentant for her crimes against my person!” Alix asks, “Uh, like, in something reasonably resembling English?” “Alix, honey, can you apologize to Christian!” As Christian stands in front of her, Alix caves in “Ugh! Fine. Christian, dude, like I'm uh, kinda sorry and stuff. And you better accept it, jerkface, because I've only apologized to one person in my life, and that was Jodie Foster, and only to avoid two years in prison!” “Your apology is as empty as your head, strumpet!” “Whatev, dude. I know how to speak your language.” Step possessed by a charming swagger, and a sly whistle singing from her lips, Alix struts into Wright's full view. As she faces away from him, shapely legs guide him through lusty heaven to the pearly gates of her scrumptious tan bootie, exposed in all its splendor by a self inflicted wedgie. As if Christian's urge for a bottle of baby oil weren't pressing enough, Alix's hands press into her sweet cheeks, and bless viewers with a spellbinding jiggle of the sumptuous golden brown flesh. WRIGHT [img=http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/596.gif] Poor Christian! When will you learn the severities of your folly? Lulled into an erotic stupor by Alix's mesmerizing BUTT, Christian obviously fails to notice the quiet approach of Doctor Anderson. Its only when he's spun around by the doc does he realize that something is amiss. By that time its much too late to stage a proper defense, as he's already being heaved into sky courtesy of the Anderson Spinebuster! His frame slams into the mat with terrific impact, instantly draining all life from his body, and bringing out a large cheer from the audience. COLE Oh good heavens what a move! I didn't know Doctor Anderson could hit a spinebuster like that! While Alix tries her hardest not to laugh at Wright's misfortune, Anderson tries to further this amazing upset with a pinfall... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! [b]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Christian Wright!!!! Eliminated by: Max Anderson (pinfall) Advantage: Team Krista, 5-2 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/b] [font="Arial Black"][b][color="#FF7F50"]“YEAAAAAAA!”[/color][/b][/font] scream the fans, leaping to their feet MONEYMAKER [img=http://fc03.deviantart.com/fs14/f/2007/048/2/1/crying_by_themoleking2003.gif] ALIX [img=http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/023.gif] “Christian are you alright?” Moneymaker asks. Alix answers back, “Yeah, and the ballcock is okie-dokie too!” “What does a part of a toilet have to do with anything?” “I dunno, typically when Christian is lying on his back, mouth wide open, and covered in sweat there are lots of ballcocks around.” On the outside Tony is quite thrilled with the proceedings and tries to high five a stunned Krista, “Hey, unless you come served in a frosted glass or look like Jessica Alba, please don't come within four feet of my lips. thank you.” She tells him. COLE I think Krista may be as shocked as we are about the whole thing! There's no way she could've expected her team to perform this admirably! What an OAOAST moment! Alix pipes up, “Hey, uh Theo dude, can I call ya Theo? Of course I can, dude, I'm the only thing standing between you and snow white and the four angry jobbers. Maybe, instead of like using the dude who could get wood off my autopsy report, you oughta let the girl who hasn't been pinned in about two years, put her thing down flip it and reverse it. Huh?” Resigned to the fact that his only hope of victory resides with a woman who he harbors nothing but hatred for, Moneymaker dejectedly motions her into the ring. The crowd is far removed from his feelings of sorrow, however. Forgetting for the moment how excited they were to see Anderson best Wright, they greet Alix's first appearance into the bout with a mammoth shout of celebration, [font="Arial Black"][b][size="3"][color="#FF4500"]“LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!”[/color][/size][/b][/font] Seeking to hinder the brunette hottie before she derails his team's momentum, Anderson darts towards her. He extends his lengthy leg forward, trying to blast her with a running side kick. But his efforts encounter unbridled failure, as Ally deftly avoids his volley by grabbing onto his foot and slamming it back to the canvas. However, Anderson doesn't even get the chance to bemoan Alix's evasion, because in the blink of an eye she locks her arm around his, and spins him around like a merry-go-round operated by Satan. After a full 360 rotation, she plummets forward, spiking him against the canvas with [b]Herpes, the gift that keeps on giving[/b] (flatliner). But it isn't all doom and gloom for Anderson, as Alix lays a bottle of medicine on his orange tights “Living with genital herpes doesn't have to be a hassle, because now there's Valtrex! My genital herpes has been under control for six months!” Mackenzie exclaims, “You have herpes??” “Huh? What? No! I'm joking! From the ad? Valtrex? You know, living with herpes..oh, nevermind!” Every fan in the arena lets loose with a wild ovation for Alix's domination of the doctor. But Anderson, who's now suffering the worst backache of his life, fails to see what's so joyful about his miserable situation. COACH Moneymaker don't deserve to have to depend on Alix to win him this match! Where's Biff? Where's Christian? Where's CPA? Where's people he can trust? With her foe trapped in a vulnerable position, Alix determines now is the time to reshowcase her alluring [i]ass[/i]ets to the lustful crowd. Standing at Doctor Anderson's side with legs apart and hands on bent knees, Alix furiously bucks her voluptuous BUTT, becoming to ass shaking what Michaelangelo was and is to art. The gold standard. A poet would call Alix the light of all lights, to me she's the ass of all asses. Splurty sounds of young boys trying to cover their great shame as mom interrogates them about the hard sock she found under the bed. As boys across the globe pack up the Charmin and call it a night, Alix ends her pants destroying booty routine and rockets herself backwards, coming down across Jock's chest with a standing moonsault. As the audience bellows a gigantic pop, the referee drops down to count the resulting pinfall. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! Stephen Pigley makes an ill advised attempt to break up the pinfall with a top rope elbow drop. Ill advised because Alix spots his descent out the corner of her eyes and yanks her body away from his fast moving trajectory. Thus the doctor lands with a rough clunk onto his partner's muscular chest, instantly seizing all the air and energy from both men's lungs. Though the rest of her team is dismayed at Pigley's failure, Krista appears to be grateful Alix wasn't the victim of a deadly elbow drop. Pilgey lifts his battered bones off Doctor Anderson, frightfully wondering if he may have fractured his elbow during the crash landing. But he's offered no time to attend towards his wounds, as the SoCal hottie pulls him upright by his bright orange tights and hurls him to the corner. But Pigley is able to shift his weight, and use his sizable strength advantage to reverse the hold and send the princess of Los Angeles to the ringposts. He watches her smash into the padding back first, then follows her in with plans of bringing misery to her world. However those plans fail to materialize thanks to the chocolate hair fighter sidesteping his rampage! He endures has a terrible meeting with the turnbuckles, his injured chest receiving the scathing brunt of the blow. [font="Arial Black"][b][size="3"][color="#FF4500"]“LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!”[/color][/size][/b][/font] Simply looking for a place to fall over and pass out, Pigley slowly staggers from the corner. Much to his surprise, he's kept upright by an unusually tight full nelson by Alix. But within seconds, he's being dropped to the canvas with tremendous force and his face is smeared about the ring floor with the [b]Crack? Shit Son... I was doing that back when it was just called FREEBASE[/b] (Flashback)! COLE Oh! Where did that come from? CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! [b]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Stephen Pigley Eliminated by: Alix Maria Spezia Advantage: Team Krista, 4-2 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/b] [font="Arial Black"][b][size="3"][color="#FF4500"]“YEAAAAAA!”[/color][/size][/b][/font] After booting Pigley from the match, Alix decides to offer him some fashion advice,“GTFO Pigley. And what kinda tights are those, dude, that color doesn't even look good on an orange.” “Way to go, baby!” Mackenzie applauds from the outside. Over on the ring apron, Krista looks content with Alix easy destruction of Pigley, but at the same time feels a tiny bit of sympathy of the beaten doc. A tiny bit. A very, very tiny bit. No radical character development changes here ppl! COLE Finally, a member of Team Krista sees elimination. I guess we wont be seeing a clean sweep by Team Krista. What a story that would've been, eh? Pushed to the brink of a manic outrage over his partner's elimination from the bout, Max Anderson assiaslas the spicy Latina with a torrent of blows that land fast and furious upon her bare bare stomach. With her golden brown skinned turned a slight shade of red, Anderson He scoops her into the air, as though he were to execute a bodyslam. But instead of employing that pedestrian maneuver, he readies himself to spike her head against the canvas with [i]Pigley's[/i] [b]Time of Death[/b] (Michinoku Driver)! That is until he notices Krista mouthing the words “Do it and die”. As such he can perform no more then a body slam. COACH These are the worst Team Captain's in the world! Not surprisingly, the body slam does little in the way of damage and within nanoseconds, the bouncy brunette back onto her feet. Anderson attempts to quell her fire with a stiff forearm, but one swipe of her star studded gogo boots weakens his knees and shuts down all his offensive weapons. Mortally exhausted, Anderson is then launched into a neutral corner, where the steel posts savagely slice into the tanned flesh on his back. The pain grows even more intolerable when his enemy shoots forward to skewer him with a flying forearm! The numerous multicolored oversized bracelets on her arm etch their mark onto his once handsome face, carving up bloody cuts along their impact zone. Gravely wounded and on the verge of passing out, the doctor sags down to the mat, leaning against the turnbuckle posts for whatever assistance they provide. Ally backs away from her beaten foe, and proceeds to run through call and response with the audience, "I'M SO HOOD...." "I WEAR MY PANTS BELOW MY WAIST. AND I NEVER DANCE WHEN I'M IN THIS PLACE. CUZ YOU AND MAN IS PLANNIN TO HATE! I'M SO HOOD..." Alix sings, "AND I GOT THESE GOLDS UP IN MY MOUTH IF I GET CLOSER TO MY HOUSE THEN YOU'LL KNOW WHAT TALKING BOUT! Mackenzie!" "I'm so hood, my daddy once bought me a Saab instead of the Benz!" [img=http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2095/1498370030_05cfe485cf_o.gif] With her Tonie-socialite girlfriend having killed her ode to ghetto's everywhere, Alix resigns herself towards defeating Pigley. Alix rips him away from the ring posts, and curls her arm around his neck for the side headlock needed to begin her somersault neckbreaker finisher. Unfortunately her grip isn't nearly as tight as she believed, and the far stronger Anderson meets with few difficulties in powering out of it. Before she's offered a chance to retry her headlock efforts, her agile foe is rushing towards the ropes. His boots elevate him to the third cable, and he comes hurtling backwards with a lionsault. But Ally sees the move coming a mile away and rolls forward to avoid it. Fortunately for Team Krista, Doctor Anderson saw her avoidance well in advance and succeeds in landing on his leather boots. COLE Disaster avoided for Doctor Anderson, but for how long? Gathering her strength, the perky cutie stands up to end the Love Doctor nuisance once and for all. However, Anderson proves he won't go down so easily, by sending a closed fist to her face. But she stymies the Chi-town brawler's attempt by slamming her gogo boots into his washboard abs. With the fans cheering her on, Alix clamps her claws onto him with a second side headlock. His luck having suddenly evaporated, Anderson's lone option is to roar horrified screams as the sex kitten sends him tumbling through the air with the somersault neckbreaker. Absent of any chance to protect himself, Anderson's neck is brought down painfully against the canvas, landing so gruesomely that Vinny Valentine has to wince in disgust. [b][color="#FFA500"]“ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!”[/color][/b] COLE Doctor Anderson, you just got your Shot At Love! While Mackenzie claps wildly for her sweetie's unstoppable obliteration of the Love Doctors, Alix attempts another crucial pinfall... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! [b]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Max Anderson Eliminated by: Alix Maria Spezia Advantage: Team Krista, 3-2 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/b] [b][color="#FFA500"]“YEAAAAAH!”[/color][/b] “Great job, Alix!” Mackenzie screams. But the opposite ring apron is rife with the downtrodden faces of a despairing Team Krista. Well, all except Krista herself who can't tell if she's supposed to be glad for Alix or feel sorry for Anderson's failure. COACH Three-two, Krista! The plot is a thickenin, Cole! Its a thickenin! MONEYMAKER BWHHAHAHAAHA! Excellent! COLE Weren't you just crying your eyes out ten minutes ago? MONEYMAKER Shut up, Cole! COLE How did he...anyway, folks, this is a stunning change of course for this match. Once up five people to two, Team Krista has been brought down to only being ahead by one by Alix Maria Spezia, who just ripped right through The Love Doctors. And folks, right now we have to take a commercial break, stay tuned for the conclusion of this bout! [b]COMMERCIAL[/B] When HELDOWN returns to airwaves, the slender figure of Alix Maria Spezia is being replaced by the portly body of Theodore Moneymaker. Moneymaker's return to the bout instantly shifts the audience's joyful mood away from Team Alix, replacing it with a burning urge to see the billionaire by pounded into an early retirement. But Moneymaker delays their wishes by smashing a well timed elbow into Valetine's forehead. Instantly a small river of blood trickles from his brutalized skin. But he hasn't a chance to attend to his cut before the tycoon drags him onto his broad shoulders for a fireman's carry position. Instantly, the disco machine tries to fight his way free of Moneymaker's clutches. And he does encounter freedom, just not in the way he would've liked! Moneymaker throws him off his shoulders, and drives his neck into the top rope. Searing anguish spreads like a cancer through the throat of Valentine as he crumples into a heap on the canvas. On the outside Tony watches with rising panic, as his cousin struggles to simply breathe. [b][color="#FFA500"]“MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS!”[/color][/b] the fans scream. Back on his feet, Valentine leans into his rival with a straight left cross that Moneymaker takes in stride, firing off a right hook of his own in response. Unfazed by the punch, the disco duck returns fire with a knife edge chop. The strike pushes the tycoon back several inches and leaves him stunned for a precious few seconds. But these few seconds are all Vinny requires to lock his foe into a facelock. He drops backwards and mashes the man's rugged face into the mat with a snap DDT. While Moneymaker desperately tries to remember just what city he's in, the audience loudly cheers for his obvious pain. “Yeah, Vinny! I love ya like I love the older sister I was forced to commit against her will!” Krista shouts. Though the crowd may be delighted with Valentine's whupping of The Enterprise CEO, the disco duck's thirst for violence has yet to be quenched. Thus it's with great glee, that he seeks to draw a bit of blood from the slowly rising tycoon. Yet, Moneymaker's dazed state is but a clever ruse and he exposes his trickery by capturing the approaching dancing king into a roll up! Robinson scores the fall.... ONE TWO Fortunately Valentine escapes the pin well before the three count. He rips his body off the mat, eager to continue his thrashing of his rival. But Moneymaker delays these plans with a series of left jabs that sway Vinny's head like a tether ball. Thinking that the disco duck is a mere high impact move away from elimination Moneymaker attempts to send him to the ropes in hopes of destroying him with a powerslam upon his return. But, Valentine isn't nearly as wounded as his opponent believed and exposes Moneymaker to this fact, by reversing the hold into a short arm knee strike. Unable to absorb the attack with his flabby stomach, Moneymaker sags to the canvas, forced into painful labored breaths. This permits Valentine a moment to bounce off the ropes and angle his Boogie Shoes (Shining Wizard) directly towards his enemy's vulnerable face! But at the last possible second, Moneymaker tucks his head into his chest, avoiding a certain knockout! COLE Close call! Flashing a look of rage, Vinny tries to swing his attacking boot backwards to impale the back of Moneymaker's head. However, Moneymaker catches onto the shoe, and uses it to twirl Vinny around. Riddled groggy by the unexpected spin, a nauseated Valentine stumbles backwards into the waiting clutches of the [b]Bank Vault[/b] (cora clutch sleeper)! The reaction of the sold out Portland audience is immediate, a strong, sharp booing as Vinny's face passes through different shades of blue on the way to unconsciousness. [b][color="#FFA500"]“MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS!”[/color][/b] With no hope, and no help on any horizon, Vinny's options become bleaker and bleaker by the moment. Thus he's left with no other choice but to submit to the powerful finisher of the detested heel. [b]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Vinny Valentine Eliminated by: Theodore Moneymaker Advantage: TIED 2-2 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/b] “[b]FUCK[/b]”Tony hollers. Needless to say, the crowd is equally less then thrilled with that result, and a whole new round of “MONEYMAKER SUCKS” chants are given life. On the ring apron, a cold anger burns on Krista's face, and fire spews from her eyes, as she's unable to comprehend how a five on two advantage disappeared without a trace. Brave tries to cheer up, but there's no joy to be had with the sight of guffawing Moneymaker lying before her. COACH Ha, ha and ha! All that talk about “wow what a story, what an achievement, what a victory for Team Krista” is bunk! Bunk! And now the sides ain't really even. Alix and Krista are comparable, but Moneymaker and Brave? Naw, skinny white dude don't match up! Coach's assessment of his talent aside, Brave decides to enter the ring for the sole purpose of pleasing Krista with Moneymaker's elimination. He overwhelms the money mogul with pair of blazing fast chops, that permit him to whip Moneymaker into the ropes. However, Moneymaker reverses the hold and Showtime is sent trotting to the cables. The wealthy Floridian lowers his oversized head, trying to trick Brave into using a leapfrog that he'll counter into an atomic drop. But, the Tigerbeat coverboy is wise to these tricks and slams his Nike tennis shoe into his rival's hairy chest. Hollering in half annoyance half pain, Moneymaker rockets upright, clutching suddenly sore pectoral muscles. “YEAH-UH!” Shayne screams, gaining a “WE LOVE YOU! WE LOVE YOU!” chant from every female under the age of twenty. Still intent on impressing his crush, Shayne darts back to the cables to channel momentum for a high impact assault. Problematically, his return is hindered by Mackenzie DeCenzo latching onto his left foot. “BOOOOO!” Noticing that Moneymaker is slowly creeping behind the boyband icon, Mackenzie does her part to keep Brave distracted, showcasing the perfect seduction of pouting cherry red lips and batted eyelashes. Its not enough to make him forget the twenty odd love songs he's wrote to Krista, but it is enough to distract him until Moneymaker's arms ambush him with the dreaded [b]Bank Vault[/b]! But the crowd hasn't a moment to boo before Brave shreds Moneymaker's devices with a stunner that delights the Portlanders! Not quite as thrilled is Mister Moneymaker, who, clutching his jaw, staggers himself backwards right into the [font="Arial Black"][color="#4169E1"]Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one![/color][/font] (Reverse x-factor) from Krista Isadora Duncan! “YEAAAAA!” Not exactly needing an excuse to get close to Krista, Shayne gives her huge hug, which causes her remind herself to burn this particular outfit when she gets back to LA. Brave gets a little too comfortable with certain more ample features, and thus she has to push him way from the annoying hug. Before Brave can write a sappy power ballad about unrequited love, he's left to pin Moneymaker... CROWD ONE CROWD TWO To the fans disgust, Moneymaker actually manages a shoulder off the ring apron. Brave is as agitated as the spectators, and refuses to believe Moneymaker succeeded in kicking out. Regardless he stills his growing annoyance, and brings Moneymaker to his feet. The detested heel makes a weak attempt to fight off his antagonist, peppering him with several light jabs. But Showtime subdues this rebellion by nailing him with a basement dropkick! As the fans applaud his besting of their least favorite wrestler, Brave once again builds up speed on the ropes. As he approaches his enemy, he leaps onto his knee, and drives the tip of his boot into the back of his head with a shinning enziguri! The crowd is ecstatic over the usage of his signature move and offer him roaring cheers. COLE Were you saying something about Showtime Shayne being no match for Moneymaker, Coach? Care to eat some crow. Powered by adrenaline Shayne heads to his corner, and journeys towards the top rope. He actually succeeds in prying pleasured gaze away from the eye popping view of Krista's shirt popping boobs, long enough to leap off with a picture perfect elbow drop! As his one hundred eighty pounds sail through the sky like a majestic eagle, camera flashes click across the jam packed venue. Unfortunately the slower moving amateur photographers among them aren't able to capture his gentle flight. Rather they immortalize his horrific landing once Moneymaker moves out the way! COLE Oh no! The audience and Krista share similar thoughts to Cole. But unlike Krista, the announcer and the crowd, don't have to now deal with a pudgy billionaire barelling down on them with a shoulder block. She's well prepared for his attack, however, and once he nears, she smashes him with a shoulder block of her own! Doubled over, he's force clutch onto the ring ropes for support, but they can do nothing to stop Shayne from pulling him down with a surprise roll up! CROWD [color="#4169E1"]ONE![/color] CROWD [color="#4169E1"]TWO![/color] CROWD [color="#4169E1"]THREE![/color] COLE And so close, but Moneymaker kicking out at the last...hold on. That was three! That was three! That was three! Moneymaker is done! Moneymaker is eliminated! Wow! So shocking is this event, that it even takes the Portlanders a moment to come to grips with the joyful occurrence they've just bore witness to. But once they truly comprehend what has transpired, their cheers are nearly deafening! [b]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Theodore Moneymaker (pinfall) Eliminated by: Shayne Brave Advantage: Team Krista 2-1 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/b] Overcome with excitement for his upset of Theodore Moneymaker, Shayne pumps his fist and runs towards Krista for another hug... “Uh, a handshake is cool, thank you.” Krista warns. Stunned with chilling confusion over what poor fate he's been handed, Moneymaker lies on the canvas thinking back to all the other horrible incidents in this match. That's when he realizes he's stuck in a nightmare with no foreseeable ending. MONEYMAKER [img=http://fc05.deviantart.com/fs12/f/2006/328/1/8/_pissedoff__Revised_by_LeoLeonardo.gif] Snarling in feral rage, Moneymaker springs forward to crush an unaware Brave with the [b][color="#006400"]$[/color]Billion Dollar Knee Lift[color="#006400"]$[/color][/b]! Bryant is left on the canvas, and finds himself wide open to repeated lashings from his sadistic foe. Beyond outraged by Moneymaker's assault, Krista tries to enter the ring, but is halted by Robinson, who wants to minimize the chance for further violence. On the other side of the ring, Alix yells at Moneymaker to cease his horrible behavior. But it doesn't seem that anything can stop his lunatic rampage until a gaggle of referees fill the outside area demanding he stop the attack. COLE This is out of control! What the hell is wrong with this guy? Get out the ring! Somewhat calmed by the cathartic beating, Moneymaker leaves the battleground without much protest, but with a gargantuan amount of jeers and boos from the audience. With admirable strength, Shayne forces his way to his feet. But all the courage in the world doesn't change the harrowing fact that he now has to deal with a fresh and formidable Alix Maria Spezia. Accompanied by a monstrous roar from the fans, Alix uneasily enters the ring, unsure if she even wants to lay a finger on Shayne. COLE Well, Alix was instrumental in helping D*LUX and Leon battle The Enterprise through the spring and summer, and naturally they developed a bond. But, now they find themselves as enemies. Still not convinced fighting Shayne is the proper course of action, Alix looks to Mackenzie, hopeful for agreement. But, Mackie, in soft and sweet tones, assures her that winning this match is the best possible thing she can do. While Alix may not be entirely sure this is correct, she gives into the soothing melody of Mackenzie's voice and throws herself into war with Shayne. Alix latches onto his arm, and heaves him into corner posts. The back that Moneymaker spent a full minute obliterating scrapes off the ring posts, bringing out tortured screams from Showtime. Alix isn't exactly merciful to her former friend, quickly leaping onto the second ropes to tower above Shayne. Without so much as passing him a single solitary glance, she monkeyflips him away from the corner, leading him to land horribly on his injured back. As white hot pain shoots through his body, he bellows his misery. “Alix!” Krista begins, “Stop this! Shayne is your friend also! He's more your friend then mine, I hate men.” Actively attempting to ignore Krista's appeals to her gentler side, Alix scrapes the motionless corpse off the canvas. With ice water seemingly traversing through her veins, she launches him back into the corner. The steel turnbuckles devour his flesh, reducing the bones in his back to mere brittle, and turning him into a wailing and moaning pillar of misery. If Alix feels any sympathy for the pain she's causing, its not readily apparent when her bracelet coated arm carves up his face with a running forearm. From the corner he staggers, moving with the speed of a mummy, and the glazed over look of a zombie. There's little intention for offensive in his movements, and Alix makes sure their never will be, grounding him to a halt with a leg sweep! “Come on, baby!” Mackenzie screams, beating on the canvas. Alix situates one gogo boot just above each of her opponent's knees and bends his legs up, twisting them around her's. With Shayne assured of not being able to move a muscle, Alix grips both of his wrists, while placing her free foot onto his badly mangled back. To complete her submission, The Hollywood Bad Girl pulls back on Shayne's arm, elevating his upper body and opening the floodgates to allow a typhoon of pain to pulverize his back. COLE Everybody go surfin, [font="Arial Black"][color="#0000FF"]Surf Venice Beach[/color][/font]! “Alix, stop!” Krista pleads with her. “Great job, honey! Great job!” Mackenzie shouts over Alix. Unable to stomach the anguish for much longer, a nearly weeping Brave groans his submission. The fans give a mammoth cheer for Alix's latest victory, but feel a little guilty about it, because damn that poor whiteboy got fucked over. [b]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Shayne Brave Eliminated by: Alix Maria Spezia Advantage: TIED 1-1 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/b] COLE We are down to the two team captains! Coach, do you know what this means?! Portland certainly does, as the murmur of anticipation for the matchup they've been waiting all contest for reaches unheard of decibel levels. Off their seats they come, every single eyeball in the arena locked unwavering onto the colossal matchup in the center of the ring. Like eighteen thousand seperate earthquakes, surges of cheers roar across the venue. COACH All night, all night long, this what we've wanted to see. And here it is! Pick a side Cole. Team Krista or Team Alix. Members of the crowd have already chosen sides, [font="Arial Black"][size="3"][color="#FF0000"]“LET'S GO ALIX!”[/color][/size][/font] [color="#FF8C00"][size="3"][font="Arial Black"]“LET'S GO KRISTA!”[/font][/size][/color] [font="Arial Black"][size="3"][color="#FF0000"]“LET'S GO ALIX!”[/color][/size][/font] [color="#FF8C00"][size="3"][font="Arial Black"]“LET'S GO KRISTA!”[/font][/size][/color] [font="Arial Black"][size="3"][color="#FF0000"]“LET'S GO ALIX!”[/color][/size][/font] [color="#FF8C00"][size="3"][font="Arial Black"]“LET'S GO KRISTA!”[/font][/size][/color] their chants boom with unheard of authority, tearing through the night as if they had a personal stake in the battle. Each chant hits like a gunshot into the brains of the ex-lovers, who want nothing more then to avoid such a grizzly situation. Stunned with horror, stunned with revulsion, Krista and Alix look at each other for the first time as enemies and what they see chokes them, like an invisible fist clutching their throats. Remaining strangely silent through all this is Mackenzie, her blues watching with great interest at the developments soon to unfold. COLE I don't think they can really fight each other. Their faces are swept entirely clean of every emotion except a cold, stinging dread. There's no will to move, to speak, to act, or even turn away from each other, all they can do is pray for someone to shake them awake from this all-consuming nightmare. And that's when Mackenzie acts. The beautiful business maven reaches into the ring, and latches onto Krista's high heels. Suddenly roars of anticipation from the audience, morph into shrill yells of disgust for Mackie. COLE What's she doing? Giving Krista another reason to have her killed. Krista's eyes go frigid, a feral blue, and they gleam like a predator lurking beyond the fringes of firelight. Without a thought towards anything besides this entire terrible situation being Mackenzie's fault, Krista dives out of the ring. Left face to face with a woman who's hatred burns as hot as a furnace, Mackenzie performs the only logical task she knows. She runs. And runs fast. [color="#FF8C00"][size="2"][font="Arial Black"]“LET'S GO KRISTA!”[/font][/size][/color] Still paralyzed by the possibility of having to physically harm the former center of her universe, Alix can't quite bring herself to react to the chase scene. Robinson is far more active, and realizing that Krista is the legal woman, he begins a ten count. TEN! COLE He's counting Krista out? NINE! Black heels click off the black mats, as the woman with the black heart refuses to yield her chase of her shrieking victim. EIGHT! COLE Did Mackenzie plan this? SEVEN! Memories of time with Alix echo in her mind, granting Krista increased speed on her quest to dismantle Mackenzie limb from limb. SIX! FIVE! [color="#FF8C00"][size="2"][font="Arial Black"]“LET'S GO KRISTA!”[/font][/size][/color] Krista manages to grab a hold of Mackenzie's dress, and though it rips away what little fabric covers generously exposed back, she isn't able to hold Mackenzie for long. FOUR! COACH She knew Alix wouldn't be willing to fight Krista, so she's going to get Krista counted out! What a sneaky bitch! THREE! Alix can only depressingly run her hands through her brown locks, stupefied at the insanity she's wrought. TWO! Mackenzie and the tattered remains of her ultra expensive dress dive into the ring. Struggling to keep the outfit from falling off, she scrambles behind her lady love for protection and to act as a makeshift dressing room. More concerned with her intended massacre of Mackie then winning the bout, Krista tries to slide into the squared circle. But she's merely a shade too late as the clock finally hits.... [b]ONE![/b] [b]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Krista Isadora Duncan (countout) Sole Survivor: Alix Maria Spezia ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/b] Spurred on by a blazing outrage, the fans are quick and merciless in expressing their disdain for Mackenzie tactics, blasting her with boos and numerous profanities even I'm too moralistic to reprint! COLE I don't believe it! Mackenzie leading Krista around the ring right into a countout. And these fans in the arena, who had been waiting so long to see Alix and Krista hook up have been robbed. And we're left to wonder what would've happened had Mackenzie not interfered. What would they have done if left face to face with another in the middle of an OAOAST wrestling ring, in front of billions world wide? Mackenzie makes no note of the audience's impolite (to say the least) treatment of her strategies. And instead gently strokes her stunned girlfriend's hair, until the gorgeous brunette manages to meet her warm smile with soft, sorrowful nod. COACH Hahaha! Genius by Mackenzie! Genius. Krista thinks she's so smart but she's been outsmarted by the real smartest woman on television. I gotta tip my hat to Miss DeCenzo. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner and the sole survivor ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! There's a mammoth pop from the Team Alix fans, that's matched by a mammoth boo from the Team Krista fanbase. The heroine for the Team Krista set, sits on bended knee, arm draped over the guard rail, seething with an undying sadness at the sight of Mackenzie holding her Alix in her arms. Though she'd love to rip Alix away from Mackenzie, she only stares ahead with lowered eyes. COLE Well, folks we're we can only wonder where this story will take us next? Certainly Krista go quietly into the night, and with people like Moneymaker and Wright roaming around to stir the pot, I imagine fireworks are ahead. We'll see them and so much more next week on OAOAST HeldDOWN from Tacoma, WA! On that note we... [B]FADE OUT[/B]

we'll try seperating the entrance from the match again! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen November Reign continues to Reign, because it is time for our mainevent of the evening.....a TEN PERSON SURIVOR SERIES ELIMINATION MATCH! [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/teamalixcopy.jpg] [size="2"][b]VS[/B][/size] [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/teamkriscopy.jpg] [b][color="#FF0000"]WHIRRR[/color] [color="#800080"]WHIRRR[/color][/b] [i]Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case of lovin' you No pill's gonna cure my ill I've got a bad case of lovin' you [/i] Bellow the frantic flowing of the red ambulance lights, the entrance doors rip apart, allowing The Love Doctors, clad in bright orange tights that shamelessly cling to their “medical instruments”, to step into full view of the Portland audience. Moving in flawless synchronization, they delicately and alluringly glide their fingers down proud, muscular chests, to sexy washboard abs, and right to the two pieces of hardware the majority of women would love to have inside their toolbox. Unfortunately the ladies' chances to be lost in fantasies of playing doctor with the two hunks falls by the wayside, when the much less attractive Vinny Valentine and Tony Tourettes rush onto the scene! Oblivious to the fact that people are actually offering him money to put a shirt on, Vinny V busts out a disco dance that wasn't even cool in 1975. With the moment ruined, The Docs can only trudge down the apron, trying to distance themselves from their creepy cohorts. COACH Forget Robert Palmer they shoulda come out to Undertaker's old themesong. DEAD MAN WALKING! These dudes is done for! BUFFER Now making their way to the ring, representing team Krista, introducing first being accompanied by his cousin Tony Tourette, he is from Brooklyn, New York, the Disco Duck, VINNY VALENTINE! And his partners from The Windy City, Doctor Max Anderson, Doctor Steven Pigley...THE LOVE DOCTORS! As the trio climb the steel steps into the ring, Maroon 5's smash hit replaces The Doc's old school track. [i]Give me something to believe in Cause I don’t believe in you anymore Anymore I wonder if it even makes a difference to try (Yeah) So this is goodbye[/i] Like lava from a volcano, an army of teenage girls erupts from their seats in anticipation for Shayne Brave's arrival. Floods of tears rush down their heavily massacred faces, while they profess an undying love and admiration for the six man champion. Showtime certainly doesn't disappoint, leaping through the parted entrance doors with enough energy to light the entire state. His elegantly decorated denim jacket crumples to the floor, ripped away in an exuberance that sees him dart to each side of the entry way to whip his fanbase into further frenzy. COACH This sad clown, who ain't got it through his head that he and his boy, Tyler, is crushing on a butch lez, actually volunteered to be on this team! To quote King from [i]Platoon[/i], “You signed up for this shit?!”, and to quote Junior from the same film “Damn, youse a stupid motherfucker!” BUFFER And their partner, from Motown, he weighed in at one hundred eighty three pounds, he is one third of the OAOAST six man champions....SHOWTIME SHAYNE BRAVE! Aided by blinding speed, Shayne rushes down the ramp, making sure to slap hands with the legion of audience members in the front row. He then slides into the ring, where he receives his biggest pop yet. "[b][size="3"][font="Arial Black"][color="#FF0000"]KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA![/color][/font][/size][/b]" I like them [size=3][font="Arial Black"]black[/font][/size] girls I like them [size=3][font="Arial Black"][color="#808080"]white[/color][/font][/size] girls I like them [color="#FFFF00"][font="Arial Black"][size=3]asian[/size][/font][/color] girls I like them [color="#000000"][font="Arial Black"][size=3]mixed[/size][/font][/color] [color="#FF0000"][size=3][font="Arial Black"]raced[/font][/size][/color] girls I like them [size=3][font="Arial Black"][color="#FF0000"]sp[/color][color="#FFFF00"]an[/color][color="#FF0000"]ish[/color][/font][/size] girls I like them [size=3][font="Arial Black"][color="#00FF00"]ita[/color][color="#FF0000"]lian[/color][/font][/size] girls I like the [size=3][font="Arial Black"][color="#0000FF"]fr[/color][color="#FF0000"]ench[/color][/font][/size] girls And I like [size=3][font="Arial Black"][color="#000080"]Scandanavian[/color][/font] [/size]girls A tidal wave of stunningly beautiful black, white, Asian, and mixed race, girls, wash ashore on the entrance stage, all dressed to impress (and undress) in nurse outfits. Repeated flashes of blue, purple and pink spotlights lights showcase gyrating hips, flexing svelte bodies, and long legs that turn and twist with the tempo of the bouncing music From a raised camera angle it almost looks like fairies fluttering through the magical garden of Shakespeare's [i]Mid summer night's dream[/i]. At the very center of this lush jungle of female beauty, stands the most captivating creature of all, Krista Isadora Duncan. The camera ventures up from glossy high heels, towards tanned legs that disappear into an ever-so-tight ever-so-short micro-mini black skirt, and full firm breasts that bulge out a rhinestone encrusted halter top. Suddenly Krista becomes the center of a small universe, fawned over by the array of lovely dancers. However, she puts on a mask of arrogance, smirking with indifference as she pushes them away, and heads down the ramp. BUFFER And the team captain, from Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, a fitness queen, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, she is Miss California Krista Isaodra Duncan! [i]I Get [b]All[/b] The Girls I Get [b]All[/b] The Girls I Get [b]All[/b] The Girls I Get [b]All[/b] The Girls[/i] The ramp has undergone a significant metamorphisis, its cold emotionless steel flooring is now carpeted by resplendent pink and red glitter that sparkles wonderfully into the night. In an occurence reminiscent of a Paris runway, fashion photographers and journalists, all dressed in the same black dress shirts and slacks, work tirelessly to capture the image of Krista strutting along this majestic décor with the grace and style of a supermodel. As wind machines playfully blow her flowing blond locks in front her entrancing face, the photographers trail her path creating a whimsical light show with the roving pink and purple spotlights. Once she reaches the end of the ramp, her hands fall to her slender hips, and her face tilts backwards, bathing in the wind machine's touch while she beams and arresting smirk into the camera. COLE Broken heart or not, Krista knows how to do things in style! And that may come in handy tonight, because her team seems to be sorely lacking in substance. And of course, there's Mackenzie DeCenzo to blame for her bad draw. But, I think the question here tonight is how are Alix and Krista going to be able to fight each other if it comes down to that? Krista's team welcomes her into the ring with open arms. Quite literally, which is not good because Tony Tourette smells like he's been humping cow shit. [i][b][font="Comic Sans MS"][color="#2E8B57"]I'm the teacher and you're the student Pay attention and I'll show you how we do it!![/color][/font][/b] [size="3"][font="Arial Black"][color="#FF00FF"]SHOUT![/color][/font][/size] [font="Arial Black"][color="#FF0000"]YEAH![/color][/font] [b]Get off your ass and dance[/b] [font="Arial Black"][color="#FF0000"]OH YEAH![/color][/font] [b]Forget about romance,[/b] [font="Arial Black"][color="#FF00FF"]YEAH![/color][/font] [b]and you can come here for the party![/b] [b]Come along[/b] [font="Arial Black"][color="#FF00FF"]YEAH![/color][/font] [b]Play my favorte song [/b] [font="Arial Black"][color="#FF0000"]OH YEAH![/color][/font] [b]The one that turns me on,[/b] [font="Arial Black"][color="#FF00FF"]YEAH![/color][/font] [b]and you can come[/b] [b]here for the party![/b] [b][size="4"][font="Arial Black"][color="#FF0000"]Shout![/color][/font][/size][/i][/b] [size="3"][font="Arial Black"][b] [color="#FF0000"]YEAAAA...[/color]..BOOOOO![/b][/font][/size] Why the sudden change of emotion for an audience that was once delighted to see Alix Maria Spezia? Because the competitor they actually see first is the khaki pants outfitted Christian Wright, smugly gazing at an audience that despises him so much. Moneymaker takes position at his right, chuckling at the storm of anger that builds in the arena. Towering behind them stands Christopher Patrick Allen, cigar in mouth, and bouncing back and forth in his black MMA style trunks. Pushing his way to the front of the group is Biff Atlas, tiny aquamarine trunks showing off a slender underwear model worthy body. Bringing up the rear is Mackenzie DeCenzo, her magnificent figure enhanced by a tight beaded evening gown. Attired in an ass-tastic pair of black booty shorts decorated by a small pink skull, a skimpy pink tube top, and matching pink headband, Alix clings onto Mackenzie's arm, almost as if she were pleading for a way out the match. COLE In two weeks The Enterprise has gone from being the single most cohesive company in the OAOAST, to the most dysfunctional in history. And it all centers around Alix Maria Spezia and Mackenzie DeCenzo. I don't know what's going to happen, but my prediction is that a company where one member wants two others tarred and feather, and another wants to exploit one member for every dollar she's worth, is not long for this world. As Buffer makes his announcement, the camera captures Krista's blue eyes taking sad, longing looks towards her lost lover, Alix. The brunette tries to avert her gaze, instead burying her head within Mackenzie's streaming blond hair. BUFFER And the opponents! Introducing first from Venice Beach, California, he weighed in at two hundred twenty pounds, he is Mr. Recyclable NRG, and Bono's Favourite Wrestler, BIFF ATLASSSSSSSSSS! And from Vero Beach, Florida, weighing in at two hundred thirty seven pounds, he The Billion Dollar Heir , The CEO of The Enterprise, and TSM's largest investor, THEODORE MONEYMAKKERRR! From Youngstown, Ohio, weighing in at a muscled two hundred eighty pounds, CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN! Now residing in The Nation's Capital, Washington D.C., he weighed in at 8 1/3 bars of gold, he is The Natural Christian Wright! And the team captain, from Los Angeles, California, she is the CEO of Miss Spezia's sweeties, and The Enterprise's Head Of Technical Tactics Identifying Excellence, or HOTTIE for short, The Hollywood Bad Girl, ALIX MARIA SPEZIAA! Together they are TEAM ALLIIXXXX! The announcement of Alix's name allows the audience to end their onrush of boos with a raucous ovation. But that's not enough to quell Alix's nerves, and she continues to cling onto Mackenzie while trying to avoid eye contact with Krista. Not overly concerned with Alix's feelings, Christian Wright orders her to stay out of the way for the course of the match. COLE I just can't believe that Mackenzie would willingly remain associated with a group that frankly despises her to the point where they wish her an eternity in hell? Is Moneymaker's cash that powerful? Very eager to impress a certain billionaire, Biff heartily volunteers to begin the contest for his team, even pushing his way past Allen, who had deemed himself the starter. Though Allen isn't fond of Biff's behavior, he can only bite his tounge and return to the ring apron at Moneymaker's orders. Across the way, Vinny Valentine anoints himself as the starter without any input from his teammates.

word is bond, bond is word. With the end of the year approaching, and me needing to draw up the angle award ballots, now is the time for you, the good citizenry of the oaoast, to tell ya man some MOTY candidates. So if you think you dropped a match (or a couple) that's a legit competitor for MOTY, then nows time to nominate it! I can tell you right there's not going to be a comedy match of the year, because I'm the only one who writes a comedy match. I'm not so egomanical that I'll use an award only I can win. Well, maybe I am, I dunno. Oh, yeah, I lack the capacity to be feel happy for other people's successes, thus I need some noms for feel good moments this year. I mean, I can think of some, but if you had one that you thought stood out, drop knowledge on a boy. Some side notezz: I can tell you right now there's no stable of the year award because there's only two stables. Unless you want to count the six man teams. In which case there are three stables. I'm debating on doing underrated wrestler of the year, because well, who's rating them in the first place? But, I will do a female personality of the year. Which should realistically be renamed Nerdly girl of the year. Anywaaaaay, you know how the angle awards works by now. I'll put the ballot up in maybe the second of week of december. Two of you will probably vote. Though I failed my required math class two times before passing it with a D, I'll tally up the votes. I'll PM the dudes who control the winning characters, and you can write a cute lil acceptance speech! So nominate those MOTYs my dudes.

I'd still rather do a HD this week, it can just be pushed back to friday, which goes back to my initial idea of pushing back HD's a day on the week after a ppv.

From the AAA Five Time Diamond Award-winning Bellagio Hotel and Casino, the ultimate luxury hotel and entertainment experience in Las Vegas! I can't trust ya'll dudes w/theme music, but quick, someone design a flashy set! Be quick, children, be quick! edit: "send" things to O'green

Ain't no clever teamnames here because I can't think of none. Traditional Survivor Series Rules Match #2 (or 3) Team Alix-Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright, Christopher Patrick Allen, Biff Atlas and Alix Maria Spezia (w/Mackenzie DeCenzo) Vs Team Krista-Vinny Valentine, Doctor Pigley, Doctor Anderson, Shayne Brave, and Krista Isadora Duncan (w/Tony Tourette)

oh! Doctor Pigley Vs Christian Wright. Or maybe Biff Atlas. Or maybe Christian Wright AND Biff Atlas. Or maybe The Love Doctors Vs CPA and Biff Atlas. Or maybe The Love Doctors Vs joseph and the technicolor dreamcoat

alffredo, i have given a small update to the CAE stats, as in I made the capitalization of their names accurate.

Tony's got this one on lock, I'll pick things back up on the 22

Now, if this were to come after the alix/vinny match that'd be awesome! As we return from wherever the fuck we just were we witness Mackenzie and Alix in the locker room area, already engaged in a discussion. Alix is still dressed in her wrestling attire, while Mackenzie wears the same evening gown she had on earlier. MACKENZIE Alix, I am so sorry about this whole November Reign survivor series thing. I know what the announcers said, about me getting the match made, and it is not true in the slightest. That was all Mister Moneymaker and Christian. I know you believe me, but I just don't like people insinuating otherwise. I know this is a very delicate time for you, and you're so precious and beautiful, I could never do anything that would ever cause you harm. ALIX I know, you've been really good to me through all this. MACKENZIE And, Krista's team, when I heard who was on it, I tried to get them to cancel the match, I honestly did. It isn't fair for you to watch her suffer like that. But they wouldn't cancel, and then I went to the highest levels of the OAOAST, Bill Watts, Donald Trump, trying to get new partners for Krista. Chris Stevens, Jay Richards, James Riggs, anybody of worth, but nothing could be done. I'm sorry, you're going to have to do this. I know how painful this match will be, and if you hate me because of it, I can understand. ALIX Stop being so silly! Of course I don't hate you. MACKENZIE I'm glad, but I've never been so humiliated and upset in my life. ALIX What about the time at the governor's mansion the back your dress went into your pantie hose? Or the cocktail party where you laughed and spinach came out your nose? Or when you overflowed that toilet in the White House when you tried to flush down a tampon. Or.... MACKENZIE Okay, you made your point, baby. ALIX (giggling) And I had great time doing it! MACKENZIE It really is great to see you smile again. Now, go get dressed, darling, we have dinner reservations in about forty-five minutes. As Mackenzie turns away from a departing Alix, she bumps right into D*LUX's Shayne Brave, dressed in black workout pants and a white tank top. SHAYNE You! MACKENZIE Who are you, and does the homeless shelter know you've left before checkout time? Shayne scoffs at the insult. SHAYNE I'm Shayne Brave of D*LUX! MACKENZIE D*LUX? You mean the little fellows who used to hump the toy sheep for their entrance? SHAYNE No, that's...well, that could be a lot of people here, now that I think about it. MACKENZIE Ah! Are you the army tag team? The Green Berets gentlemen? SHAYNE There is no army tag team as far as I'm aware. MACKENZIE That's a shame. Have you ever seen, [i]Green Beret[/i] with John Wayne? Now, I take immense pride in never having made the mistake of voting a democrat into office, but I find that movie to be nothing but jingoistic high-handed right wing propaganda nonsense. SHAYNE I agree completely. Actually, if you really want to see one of the better early Vietnam War movies, then you have to rent....wait...You're getting me off my point! MACKENZIE I don't believe your intelligent enough to coherently possess one, but please, do humor me Shayne has trouble gathering whatever thoughts he come to approach Mackenzie with and stumbles out his words. SHAYNE Uh, yeah, uh....breakup...Krista...bad...you...mean...me...angry...cry. MACKENZIE Security! Security! Oh, nuts to that, I'll do it myself. Mackenzie actually rips a fire extinguisher off the wall and prepares to smash the boybanders face in, but thankfully he raises his hands to get her to stop. SHAYNE Wait! I wrote it down! I wrote it down! Shayne digs through his pockets, rummaging for a crumpled note card which he proceeds to read to Mackenzie. SHAYNE Okay, alright, here I go. Uh, One-Two percent milk, Two-Deodorant, Three-Fabreeze air fresheners... MACKENZIE Is that your grocery list? SHAYNE Huh? It is! Um, other side. Yes, right, there we go. You..you..uh, I have trouble reading my own hand writing. Can you help me please? MACKENZIE (straining her eyes to read Shayne's note) Are you even functionally literate? What does this say? Briton? Burp? Broke? SHAYNE Broke! That's right! You broke Krista's heart and that makes you D*LUX enemy number one! MACKENZIE Oh no! How will I ever show my face amongst lonely ten year old Japanese girls again? SHAYNE I don't know the answer to that, my card doesn't have room for question and answer sessions. MACKENZIE It was sarcasm! Do you know what it is? SHAYNE The card doesn't have room for definitions either. Sorry. I can go make a bigger card if you want, it would only take a few..... MACKENZIE No! God no! Finish what you have to say. Please! SHAYNE Oh, uh, yes. Right. Krista loves Alix and anyone with a fourth of brain can see that. MACKENZIE Which means you can't. SHAYNE And at some point whatever brainwashing you got on Alix is gonna wear off, and she's going to see the light and go right back where she belongs at Krista's side! And if she doesn't, then um, maybe Krista might want to try dating a guy, maybe a younger one from Detroit. My grandfather has season tickets to the Lions. I also have a cat named Tiger. He likes to watch hockey! MACKENZIE Oh good lord. SHAYNE But, but, um, anyway, as for the here and now, you think your money can get you whatever you want. It seems to have got you Alix, and it got you a pretty good survivor series match at November Reign. I know what's going on, all you Enterprise jerks believe that you can crush The Love Doctors and Vinny Valentine and get a five on one squashing with Krista. But, guess what? That's not going to happen! No way, now! Because, you want to know what I just did? MACKENZIE No. SHAYNE I marched right into Anglesault's office, and I said listen you bald headed buttmunch, I didn't really say that, because I'm afraid of bald people, I'm the fifth guy on Krista's team, and that's final! And, so it looks like a monkey wrench just got thrown into your plans. Because maybe you can eliminate The Love Doctors and Valentine real quick, but I'm going to be watching Krista's back all night. And if I have my way she's coming out a winner! Mackenzie smiles at the teenager's amazing foolishness. MACKENZIE And if I have my way, its Alix who comes out the winner. Unfortunately for you, I always get my way. And with that Mackenzie walks off, leaving Shayne to contemplate the deeper meaning of his grocery list. COACH Team Krista gets worse by the segment. Her team is the type of dudes who go to bed with two packages of weenies under their pillows at night, hoping to catch the lil weenie man. Ol hoe ass bitches, bout to get Brokeback Mountain'ed. No Phil Jackson.

Logic would dictate this goes after Vinny Valentine's interview, but when has logic ever had any influence in the OAOAST? [b]Footage courtesy of [color="#008000"]The Enterprise[/color][/b] Produced By Molly Nerdly [i]Sunday November 14th 2007 The Home of Krista Isadora Duncan Los Angeles, California[/i] We fade into the sight of Alix Maria Spezia exiting a room, tears pouring down her face, her usually cheerful expression twisted and corrupted by a remarkable sadness. Held in her arms is a suitcase, crammed full of as many belongings she could drag out of Krista's house. Her trembling hand lies on the door knob, caught in the middle of hellish war that wages in her mind, one side that says she should go back and apologize to Krista, and the other that says she's done the right thing. Through the river of tears, her grey eyes gaze back into the room, and a fresh sadness nearly cripples her where she stands. MOLLY (O.S) This is great footage. Just great. ALIX Shut up. I didn't even want you here, Mackenzie made me take you along. MOLLY I'm sorry. I meant its great just to show people what a breakup is like, that homosexual relationships are every bit as powerful as hetro ones. Um, are you coming? Mackenzie's waiting in the car, she's gonna start to get nervous, probably. There's a moment where it looks like she may never head towards her new life, as she stares into the open doorway, and gazes depressingly at her old existence. But, she steels herself as deeply as she can, and walks away from the door, fighting back that tears that beg her to reconsider. She walks down the hallway, each step hurting as though there was shrapnel lodged in her legs. And a then blow worse then a bullet to the brain stops her dead in her tracks; its Krista, green tank top, and baggy sweat pants sagging off her shivering body. Though Alix doesn't bother to look back, she knows those soft blue eyes are yearning for her to return into her arms. Although she knows better, Alix still turns to face the love she's let die. KRISTA I love you, Alix. Unable to provide even a simple one word response to a message she's been dying to hear for so long, Alix can only tilt her head in sorrow, and head for the front door before the sadness breaks her down completely. Words refuse to form on the tip of Krista's lips, and she watches in silent sorrow as Alix exits their once treasured home. Molly follows her down the long marble stairs, capturing the wellspring of tears that burst through Alix's face. She's barely able to hold onto her suitcase, and Molly has to function as camera girl and baggage handler, as they make a painful journey towards Mackenzie's Mercedes that's parked in front of the million dollar mansion. Mackenzie opens the door, and Alix's body falls into the leather seat, almost seemingly ashamed to look her new girlfriend in the eyes. Molly slides gracefully into the backseat, unwilling to allow her camera to miss any of the supercharged emotions. MACKENZIE Is it bad? Alix nods, while Mackenzie gently massages her hair. ALIX (sobbing) She...she..said she wouldn't be able to live without me. MACKENZIE (not very reasuringly) I know she will. She's a strong woman. ALIX I love her, Mackenzie. I hate having to hurt her. Its worse having to break someone's hurt then it is getting your heart broken. Its worse then anything. Its like murder. I can't do this. I'm sorry. MACKENZIE Yes, you can. You deserve to be happy, and you can't give that up for anyone. Alix's voice lowers into an icier, somber tone. ALIX I didn't break up with her for you. I did it because its the right thing to do. MACKENZIE Of course you did, baby. Of course you did. Mackenzie kisses her girlfriend on the cheek, which subdues her terrible mood, and lets her sink back into the seat, as they drive off into the Los Angeles night. [b]Footage courtesy of [color="#008000"]The Enterprise[/color][/b] [b]FADE OUT[/B] COLE We'd like to thank Molly Nerdly and her shameless voyeuristic nature for that footage.Just an awful breakup, awful the way it went down, and a lot of emotions running high between both parties. By all accounts backstage Alix is doing a bit better this week, certainly more cheerful then she was on The Love Shack or in that footage we just saw. COACH Could that be because Mackenzie made it known that if anyone mentioned the “K” word, they'd be answering to CPA? COLE That K word being Krista, who isn't here tonight. We wish her all the best, of course. For now, let's go to Michael Buffer for our next contest. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of fifteen minutes. Introducing first from Brooklyn, New York, being accompanied by his cousin, the newest OAOAST superstar, Tony Tourette, he weighed in at two hundred twenty eight pounds, the DISCO DUCK, VINNY VALENTINEEEEEEEE! For the first time in many months, HeldDOWN audiences are treated to the oddball stylings of 70's classic Disco Duck. As the annoyingly catchy quacking fills the air, numerous disco balls lower from the entrance stage's ceiling, creating a serene pool of playful dancing light. The mastermind behind HeldDOWN's journey back to the decade of disco and cocaine, is none other then the Disco Duck himself, Vinny Valentine. Clad in zebra print pants, and a gaudy matching tophat bejeweled with fake gold, he saunters down the mini staircase that connects the entrance doors to the stage. Touched by the glorious show of whimsical light, he becomes lost in his own world of disco dancing, as the camera slowly swirls around him, showcasing every angle of his questionable dancing skills. Behind Double V, is Tony Tourette, in black sweat pants and a plain grey t-shirt lined with grease and drool stains. There's no dancing to be done by him, and instead he stands slack jawed, and stupid, gazing emptily at the surreal scene around him. COLE Vinny Valentine making a very rare appearance here on HeldDOWN. Usually our fans see him on our Syndicated programming. But tonight he gets to be the first opponent in Alix Maria Spezia's foray into the world of singles wrestling. He's not just some randomly selected opponent, however. Thanks to some wheeling and dealing by Mackenzie and Theodore Moneymaker, at November reign Team Alix, basically The Enterprise, of Christian Wright, Theodore Moneymaker, Christopher Patrick Allen and Biff Atlas, will compete in a five on five survivor series elimination match with Team Krista, Krista Isadora Duncan, Vinny Valentine, The Love Doctors, and a partner to be named later. Now folks, I don't mean to be insulting, but Krista's team...well, they...uh...they... COACH They suck? COLE Yes. They suck. Subtract Krista, and all her wins, and combined over the past two years, that team has a grand total of about three legit non DQ wins. [b]Two years, three wins[/b]. In those two years Alix has four tag titles, two 24/7 titles, and a women's wrestler of the year award. In those two years Moneymaker and Wright have a tag title run, an Anderson Cup, and a HI-YAH world title between them. If my numbers are wrong, at the most The Love Doctors and Vinny Valentine have a combined four or five wins between them. Oblivious to the fact that he's being ruthlessly insulted, Vinny gingerly disco dances his way down aisle, while his cousin scurries behind him. “DISCO IS DEAD! DISCO IS DEAD! DISCO IS DEAD!” a few fans in the front row chant. As Vinny reaches the apron he leans back and shouts, “Disco ain't dead, so as long as Vinny V is staying alive!” “SNIFF MY AIDS CUM DUMPSTERS!” a trembling Tony hollers to the [i]ringsteps[/i]. COLE He'll make a charming addition to the roster, I'm sure. [i][b][font="Comic Sans MS"][color="#2E8B57"]I'm the teacher and you're the student Pay attention and I'll show you how we do it!![/color][/font][/b] [size="3"][font="Arial Black"][color="#FF00FF"]SHOUT![/color][/font][/size] [font="Arial Black"][color="#FF0000"]YEAH![/color][/font] [b]Get off your ass and dance[/b] [font="Arial Black"][color="#FF0000"]OH YEAH![/color][/font] [b]Forget about romance,[/b] [font="Arial Black"][color="#FF00FF"]YEAH![/color][/font] [b]and you can come here for the party![/b] [font="Arial Black"][color="#FF0000"]OH YEAH![/color][/font] [b]Come along[/b] [font="Arial Black"][color="#FF00FF"]YEAH![/color][/font] [b]Play my favorte song [/b] [font="Arial Black"][color="#FF0000"]OH YEAH![/color][/font] [b]The one that turns me on,[/b] [font="Arial Black"][color="#FF00FF"]YEAH![/color][/font] [b]and you can come[/b] [b]here for the party![/b] [b][size="6"][font="Arial Black"][color="#FF0000"]Shout![/color][/font][/size][/i][/b] Amidst the raucous blitz of cheers and applause that come with anticipation for Alix's arrival, a strange sight rests beneath the roving pink and red spotlights of the entryway. Brought on by a moving platform, is school house setting, fashioned with a teacher's desk, and a glitzy chalkboard, lined with a series of neon bulbs. Situated behind the desk, comfortably reclined in a swivel chair is Mackenzie DeCenzo, outfitted in chic glittering silver evening gown. Through steel rimmed glasses, the “teacher's” blue eyes feast upon her favorite student, Alix Maria Spezia. Resting behind a pair of star patterned gogoboots, her statuesque golden brown legs stand atop the desk, inviting Mackenzie's gaze up to dark pink booty shorts that appear molded to her firm BUTT and then towards a tight cropped to the chest tube top that clings to her pendulous chest and rests behind a silver tinsel boa. Her curvy hips sway in a mesmerizing rhythm to the Donna's pulsating guitars, as her delicate hands delight in seductive exploration of her silken skin. Soon those delicate hands claps around Mackenzie, she's helped to the floor. Mackenzie strokes her hair girlfriends hair tenderly, as Alix flips a kiss to a camera, causing superimposed red lips to emerge on screen. BUFFER And his opponent, being accompanied to the ring by her lady love, the chief financial officer of The Enterprise, Mackenzie DeCenzo, from Los Angeles, she is the CEO of Miss Spezia's Sweeties, the Enterprise's [color="#FF8C00"][font="Arial Black"]HOTTIE[/font][/color], Head Of Technical Tactics Identifying Excellence, she is The Hollywood Bad Girl, ALIX MARIA SPEZIAAAAAAAA! As she trots down the apron, Alix's bracelet covered arm stays hooked between Mackenzie's, who tries her best to offer smiles to the fans who so obliviously despise her. Alix seems oblivious to her girl's war with the audience, instead focusing on flashing peace signs, and devil horns to the noisy fanbase. COLE A familiar sight here on HeldDOWN, Alix arm and arm with a gorgeous blond. Unfortunately that gorgeous blond isn't Krista Isadora Duncan, but rather, Mackenzie DeCenzo, who Alix has left Krista for. And if you ask most of our fans, well, it's fairly obvious that they want Alix to get back with Krista ASAP. Clicking her high heels across the outside mats, Mackenzie uses her firm grip on Alix's tinsel boa to lovingly guide her crawling girlfriend across the ring apron. As flashing red and pink spotlights dance across her picture perfect skin, Alix's hands cup Mackenzie's chin, and eager kisses journey across the blond's face. She then rolls into the ring, where she leaps onto the top turnbuckle and flashes a peace sign to her roaring fans. COACH Pick a team, Cole, who you taking in this lover's quarrel? Team Alix or Team Krista? A battle for the hearts of Los Angeles. Team Alix has cookies, but Team Krista can get you a better BUTT in five days. I don't know who I'm rolling with yet, but shit could get uglier before it ever gets prettier. [B]DING DING DING[/B] As the crowd settles into their seats, the in ring competitors engage in a lockup. Though the much larger Valentine has an obvious strength advantage, his efforts to overpower the SoCal babe to the canvas meet with consistent failure. She bends her knees and entrenches and her gogo boots into the canvas, causing the disco fanatic to waste mountains of energy. Overcome by frustration at his early failings, Valentine abruptly releases Alix. But he does this only to introduce an open palm slap to the side of her face! “BOOOOO!” As mad as the fans are, Mackenzie is even angrier, demanding that that Valentine be strung up and hung for his misdeeds. Alix, on the other hand, takes the insulting gesture in stride, and merely chuckles at the the man's audacity. But once the comedy of the situation wears off, her gogo boots begin savaging his midsection. As the fans cheer her every assault, and red welts appear on Vinny's flabby stomach, and it appears the Disco Duck is soon to collapse under the hurricane of her strikes. But he manages to calm her storm with a rake of her grey eyes. Unfortunately, Alix is wearing contacts. Thus the feisty heroine quickly returns to peppering her rival with kicks. Fresh out of dirty tricks, Vinny tries a more conventional technique; he latches onto her left boot, and twirls her around so that she faces away from him. Quickly his arms snake her slender waist, and she's brought into the sky for a backdrop. But, much to the fans' immense delight, the agile diva coils her bracelet coated arms around his oversized mellon, then shoots her body forward! The fans explode with cheers as Vinny is driven face first to the mat with a bulldog! [b][color="#FF0000"]“ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!”[/color][/b] “FART INDUCING SEMEN GOBLINS!” Tony screams on the outside COACH Aw lord, get that dude up on this announce team, pronto. Alix grabs onto Vinny's heavily gelled pompadour and rips the Brooklyn native off the canvas. He tries to fight against her grip with a pair of jabs to her face. But, he only manages to land a paltry three shots before he's slung into the corner. His back suffers through a gruesome collision with the corner posts, and he hollers out his screams of agony to the tune of [i]Best Disco in Town[/i] by Ritchie Family. Problematically for him, the hottest babe in town, is preparing to lance her knee across his wrinkled face. Thanks to a warning from Tony, Vinny is made aware of Alix's incoming charge and slides out the way! Unable to put on the breaks in time, she crashes into the second posts, and her fans hold their breath in worry over her condition. “CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES COME ON!” Vinny sings, while engaging in a round of the most rhytmless dancing you may ever witness. After he's done auditioning for the relaunch of Soul Train, Vinny weaves his slimy fingers through Alix's beautifully curled hair, and leads her away from the corner posts. “NIGHT FEVER, NIGHT FEVER! I KNOW HOW TO DO IT!” Vinny's horrible, horrible Brooklyn accent belts out as he shifts Alix onto his shoulders in preparation for the [b]Night Fever[/b] (Alabama Slam). But, Alix finds a quick cure for this particular fever, and slides down his paunchy frame for a rollup! “Way to go, baby!” Mackenzie shouts, while referee Robinson counts the first fall of the contest. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO CROWD THREE! Perhaps that may have been three had the disgraceful character known as Tony Tourette not ventured onto the ring apron. But, he has ventured onto the ring apron, and his unusual behavior manages to distract the referee from his in ring duties. And can you really blame Robinson's distraction when it comes at the hands of a man repeatedly shouting “SUCK A FART OUT MY ASS, YOU VILE SCUMBAG!” “Robinson, get back to your position!” Mackenzie whines, desperately wanting everything to go smoothly for Alix. While, Mackenzie can do nothing but grouse and complain, Alix takes a more proactive route in dealing with the unwanted nuisance. Putting on her beauty pageant smile, she strides over to Tony. But, he's not disarmed by her charming expression, and cocks his hand as though he's ready to punch her. That's when Alix turns to The Disco Duck Vinny Valentine, who's fast sneaking up on her, and says “Duck season!” “Huh?” Vinny utters, stopped dead in his tracks. “Uh, rabbit season?” “Duck season!” “Rabbit Season!” “Duck season!” “Rabbit Season!” “Rabbit Season.” Alix whispers. “DUCK SEASON!” Vinny foolishly screams, [size="3"][b]BAM![/b][/size] Tony wallops Vinny with a left hook, sending his cousin teetering back towards the center of the ring, delighting the audience. “DISCO IS DEAD! DISCO IS DEAD! DISCO IS DEAD!” The disco duck is given no chance to refute claims of Disco's demise, as the brunette sex kitten hooks onto his arm and gives him [b][color="#2F4F4F"]Herpes, the gift that keeps on giving[/color][/b]. Or a flatliner, whichever you prefer to call it. Either way it leads to a pinfall by Alix... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! And once again, Tony Tourette has found has way onto the ring apron. His presence is met with a heated round of groans and jeers from the audience, many of whom threaten to remove him from the apron themselves! COLE Jesus Christ, how did this guy even get a manager's license? Let's hope Vincent leaves him at the Valentine Thanksgiving table when November reign rolls around. What a joke! Fresh out of Looney Tunes gags to work to her advantage, Alix decides just to superkick him off his perch. Apparently sensing that he's about to be minus several teeth and plus a hella large hospital bill, Tony T begins violently shaking, looking as though he were being seized by the power of the holy ghost! Alix cuts short her superkick effort to wonder, “Uh, are you okay, dude, you're shaking pretty profusely?” That's a bit of an understatement as Tony seems like he may well shake his skin clear off his body. Unlike sweet Alix the fans are unsympathetic to his plight, and chant “KILL THE RETARD!” “Alix, ten o'clock!” A suddenly worried Mackenzie screams. “Huh? My watch says its only six. Unless you're in Lisbon, in which case it is ten o'clock. But they go by a twenty four hour clock, so there its called twenty two o'clock. You see the twenty four clock was invent...WOOOAAAH!” From the ten o'clock position behind Alix Vinny Valentine stuns her with a school girl! ONE TWO But, Alix kicks out, bringing a large round of applause from the fans. COACH Vinny and The Love Doctors have gotta do a whole hell of lot more then some schoolboys if they think they're gonna see anything but a two minute squash against The Enterprise. Alix rises off the canvas on her willpower, but can muster no offensive flurry thanks to a bevy of knife edge chops that slam against her buxom chest. She tries to avoid the onslaught of strikes by thrusting her forearm at the dancing king, but her arm speed is uncharacteristically slow, and he's able to catch onto it. With her limb trapped, Vinny drives it downward onto his shoulder with an arm stunner! She recoils in a great deal of pain, her numerous bracelets jangling from the jarring impact of his attack. Her immediate instinct is to generate some sort of distance between herself and her shady aggressor, but he makes this frustratingly impossible, by trapping her down with a standing arm lock. As Vinny instantly begins ordering her to submit, the fans burst out words of encouragement for their heroine. [font="Arial Black"][color="#FF8C00"]“LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!” [/color][/font] Wanting to be a part of the enormous rallying cry that builds for her girlfriend, Mackenzie begins slamming her hands on the mat to further rouse the crowd to her girl's aid. Unfortunately this has the opposite effect then intended, as the fans become annoyed with Mackenzie's participation and now sing alternating chants of “LET'S GO ALIX! GET BACK WITH KRISTA! LET'S GO ALIX! GET BACK WITH KRISTA!” Meanwhile back in the ring, Valentine continues to torque and tug on Alix's limb as if he were trying to rip it straight from its socket. Pain outlines her face, and she whimpers in misery, as scorching hot agony flashes through her bones. But drawing on the considerable show of support from her fanbase, Alix is able to muster the strength needed to begin breaking Vinny's bonds. Remarkably stubborn, Vinny refuses to even acknowledge the possibility that his foe might bust out his hold, and makes no adjustments to the submission. So, its not exactly surprising to any one except Vincent himself, when Alix shears her arm from his clutches! [b][color="#FF0000"]“LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!”[/color][/b] “Let's go Alix? Hello? Do ya, like realize, that last living member of the Bee Gees was trying to rip out my arm so he could use it to bash my skull in to the tune of We Are Family? How about a little less lets go Alix, and lil bit more, take your time Ally, make sure your arm isn't broken, make you sure ya don't require reconstructive shoulder surgery and six months of rehab. Give, give, give, that's all I do for you people! hmph!” Brushing aside her issues with the fans well-meaning but unwanted chants, the Princess of Los Angeles turns her attention to Valentine, and terrorizes him with a series of forearm strikes. Thanks to an assist from her plastic bracelets, the shots do incredible damage, and open up small cuts on Vinny's leathery skin. COACH Cole, you gotta pick a team. Team Krista or Team Alix. Like on the Hills, they got Team Lauren and Team Heidi. I bet your chump ass probably rolls with Lauren “Beef Curtains” Conrad! COLE I'm not picking sides in this bitter breakup, I just think its a shame that such a happy, funloving, couple could just come apart before our very eyes. While Cole laments her previous relationship, Alix's swipes her left gogo boot towards Valentine's head. But, the lord of the dance avoids the potential knockout, and the Latina sweetie is forced into an errant one eighty twirl. When she twists back towards Vinny, he smashes his sparkling red boot into her bare stomach. Without giving her a moment to catch the breath that's been all but knocked out of her, Double V latches onto her bracelets and attempts to thrust her into the ropes. However, she regains enough of her energy to reverse the hold, and pull Valentine in for a short arm knee lift. Unfortunately for her and her legion of fans, Valentine moves a step ahead of her, and slams his knee into her chiseled stomach. She cries out in agony, nearly crippled to the canvas by the sheer amount of pain he's put her under. COLE All Vinny has to do at November Reign, is extend this twenty seconds of offense over thrity five minutes and through four of the top members of The Enterprise and Biff Atlas. Uh-huh, that should be easy. Real easy. Through the curled strands of her chocolate hair, Alix watches the disco machine dart to the ropes. And though she can see him approaching a mile away, she lacks the energy required to prevent him from DDTing her into the canvas! As they watch Alix's head be spiked violently off the rock solid mat, the audience and Mackenzie react with shrill shrieks of horror. “HOOK THE FUCKING LEG!” Tony screams on the outside, a completely coincidental comment to what's going on in the ring, because Tony is currently talking to the wad of snot that's dribbling down his nose. “He, uh, he has tourettes syndrome.” Vinny sheepishly tries to explain to the referee, as he hooks Alix's leg for another pinfall... ONE! But, much to Vinny's disgust, Alix shoots her shoulder off the canvas long before the ref can even entertain the thought of a second count. Vincent whines, “Its ONE....TWO....THREE! That's the way uh-huh uh-huh, I like it! Uh-huh Uh-huh!” COACH I hope the Love Doctors are taking notes. Forget a one count those marks couldn't even hope to hit one offensive manuevuer. You gonna get dat ass beat, you gonna dat ass beat! COLE How is Krista even going to take to having to be on opposing sides with her ex? I don't think think its a very fair position to put these two in. Mackenzie and Moneymaker should be ashamed. Alix drags her weary bones of the canvas, ready to stage a counter attack against this wacky foe. But she's immediately returned to the defensive when Vinny's thick arms snake around her neck in a front facelock. His freehand takes a tight grip of her pink booty shorts and the babelicious Californian is quickly dragged into the air for a vertical suplex! But, as she's lifted to the height of the hold, the tide is suddenly and violently turned against the disco duck! Thanks to her body being lathered in baby oil, he's unable to maintain any sort of dependable grip on his victim, and she slithers downwards to the canvas. Her expensive boots touch her down behind Vinny, and she's quick to take advantage of the situation. She places her hands on his back and gives him a rough shove into the corner! Unable to even ascertain how he lost the vertical suplex, the confused disco fanatic crashes into the turnbuckles with a mighty thud that brings out a huge pop from the fans and Mackenzie. Their cheers turn even louder and bolder, when The Hollywood Bad Girl's flashy footwear strikes the annoying heel with a running dropsault! [b][color="#FF0000"]“ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!”[/color][/b] “CRUSTY PENIS FECES NIBBLER!” Tony blurts out. “Yeah, that gimmick's gotten old fairly quickly.” Alix remarks to Mackie. “Uh-huh, no kidding.” She replies. Trying to ignore Tony's constant stream of profanities, Alix diverts her attention back to his slightly more pleasant cousin, who's currently stumbling from the corner in a painful stupor. But as Alix's leaping side kick travels towards his face, he's ripped free of his daze, and manages to duck beneath the lethal strike. COLE This rare HeldDOWN appearance for Vinny Valentine could've been his last, if that kick had connected. Vincent takes off to the ropes, gathering enough forward momentum to return to Alix with a deathly lariat! Unfortunately his lariat is as about as deadly as a fruit fly, as the Princess of Los Angeles easily leaps around and behind his portly body. Her arms snake around his neck, and gravity does its part, dragging the whimpering New Yorker downwards with the [font="Arial Black"][color="#4B0082"][b]Crack??? Shit son, I was doing that back when it was just called FREEBASE[/b] [/color][/font](Flashback)! [font="Arial Black"][size="3"][color="#A0522D"]“YEAAAAAAA!”[/color][/size][/font] scream the fans, while Mackenzie claps like a child seeing a mall Santa for the first time. Despite the raw force the signature hold was delivered with, Vinny manages to stagger upright, aiming dizzied and miscalculated punches at foes both real and imagined. Sadly for Vinny, his real foe tightens him into a side headlock, and without any sort of warning sommersaults forward. The violent momentum of the hold forces Vincent into a crazed tumble, that lands him directly onto his neck. As the fans explode with an onrush of cheers, the life quickly sags from Vinny's once vibrant body. COLE That's called A Shot at At Love! COACH Fitting because Krista's team hasn't a shot at winning at November Reign. Alix drapes her arm across Vinny's chest, and the fans and Mackenzie count along with the pinfall... CROWD AND MACKENZIE [b][color="#FF0000"]ONE! [/color][/b] CROWD AND MACKENZIE [b][color="#FFA500"]TWO! [/color][/b] CROWD AND MACKENZIE [b][color="#FF0000"]THREE![/color][/b] Mackenzie doesn't even bother to wait for the bell, the official announcement, or the resuming of the Donnas hard rocking track, before she begins celebrating. She dives into the ring, beaming a smile reminiscent of a fat kid let loose in a sugar factory. Her warm expression meets Alix's goofy smile, and her arms bring that cute face closer to her's in a tender embrace. The fans on the other hand find their happiness over Alix's victory tempered somewhat, by her celebration with this new, much maligned girlfriend. BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall...ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! As “Here For The Party” blasts into the arena, Mackenzie raise Alix's arm into the sky, and passionately urges the fans to chant for her. The majority of the fans show their love for Alix, but there are several who continue to plead with her to get back with Krista. COLE Well, Alix looking excellent in her first match in what should be a very successful singles career. And it just so happens her victory came against one of her November Reign opponents, Vinny Valentine. With Alix cruising past Valentine and Christopher Patrick Allen destroying Max Anderson last week, things look very grim for Team Krista. And, just emotionally how can Alix and Krista take being on opposing sides as one another? COACH I don't know but what I do know is that Krista oughta pull a Marbury and walk on out of that sorry ass team. She can afford that one hundred eighty thousand dollar fine, ain't nothing worth trying to make The Love Doctors looks respectable. Though, I doubt you'll ever see Krista wear ten dollar shoes like Marbury does. If she's as smart as she says, she'd western union that fine for no showing, and leave those losers to hang.