Patty O'Green

149 pulling the old bait and switch on us! Nice promo from the Ned Man, and good little way to get Moneymaker and Wright some play on the show before they start getting totally overshadowed by their underlings! Some intrigue built with Strutter. Looking forward to the bout with Sandman at HS. I dunno, duke, NoCal ballas is spending 19 mill to rep Napa or Saint Helena. Or if you're on the cheap I guess you can find something around 7 mill in Palo Alto w/yo broke. I prefer to dwell with the proletariat in south central tenement houses. Real estate aside, a strong squash as was the TH one later on. Alf's best work was yet to come! Very rad match between Blonde&Faqu/CAE. Lasted a lot longer then I thought it would. I figured Faqu/Blond were not long for this edition of HeldDOWN! “Shine by Collective Soul”! That takes me way the fuck back. That song must've come out when I was in second or 1st grade. I had to get that on the DL ASAP. Anyway, yeah, no doubt big things are ahead for TH in the crowded tag division. The Best of Alf's contributions was saved for last! Great title for title match, and loved the Eulogy on Hebner at the end. What a bastard! Reject that is, I gots no drama w/Hebner. So has Strutter got himself a bodyguard to help in the fight against Sandman?

One and Only World Tag Team Title Costume Battle Royal Featuring: Team Heyross, The Heavenly Rockers, Chicks Over Dicks©, James Blonde and Faqu, The Beverly Hills Blonds, Christ Air Express, Mardi Gras HomeWrecking Crew, Rescue 911, Los Conquistadors, Los Diablos, South Central Millitia and The Love Doctors I guess that's everyone.

CREDITOS Moi 149 KC Alf

THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD Blasting on the screen is our introductory video, showcasing the adrenaline fueled thrill ride that is OAOAST programming. As the video cycles through close ups of key characters, and the death defying spots and stunts they routinely preform, Party Like a Rockstar provides a thumping soundtrack. The video finally closes out with a black and white image of Zack Malibu starring sternly over his bare shoulder. The logo dissolves, and the image is recreated into a suit clad Coach and Cole, standing in the middle of the spiral staircase that hangs at the side of entrance stage. The chaotic flickering of the numerous video screens, plays soft white and blue illumination off their faces as they prepare us for the night's show. COLE Folks, welcome to Toronto, welcome to HeldDOWN! Michael Cole standing right beside The Coach for this week's edition of sports entertainment's highest rating program, OAOAST HeldDOWN! As we head into our own fall classic, The Halloween Spectacular, we're going to get treated to some heated matches tonight! COACH You damn right, son. Team Heyross will be showing off the skills that have made them the greatest team never to win an OAOAST tag team championship, Marvin and Melvin Nerdly return to action, Sandman battles Reject in what's gonna be a legendary title for title match. And my big dog pitbull, Felix Strutter is gonna have big thangs poppin in his hometown of the big TO. COLE And let's not forget that The Love Doctors are just seconds away from a battle with their hated rivals in The Beverly Hills Blonds! *WHIIIR!* *WHIIIR!* Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case of lovin' you BUFFER The following tag team event is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from the Windy City, at a total combine weight of 436 pounds, MAX ANDERSON and STEVEN PIGLEY…THE LLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOVVEEEEE DOCTOORRRRSSSS!! "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" The handsome young doctors from Windy City Hospital delight the ladies with their exploits, including a personal strip-tease for a woman with a sign mentioning tonight’s show is part of her bachelorette party! COLE How about that? Taking your girlfriends to a OAOAST event for your bachelorette party. You go, girl! COACH The OAOAST’s popularity never ceases to amaze me, Cole. We have a little bit of everything here. That said, if those girls are looking for a good time…well, they’re in luck. Guess who’s up next? Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime BUFFER Their opponents, now arriving on the red carpet with MOLLY NERDLY, represent the Enterprise and reside in Beverly Hills 90210, “BOX OFFICE” SIMON SINGLETON and “THE HANDSOME HUSTLER” NED BLANCHARD… THE BEVERLY HILLS BLON… Ring announcer Michael Buffer stops his introduction after spotting the Blonds in street clothes and Simon Singleton in a NECK BRACE. Called by Ned, Buffer hands over the microphone. NED As entertainers, our job is to put smiles on your faces. Whether you love us or hate us, we don’t really care because we’re richer and more famous than you’ll ever be! “BOOOOOOOOOO!” SIMON NED But a near tragedy almost occurred on the show last week. The fact Simon is able to walk is a testament to this man’s conditioning and the healthcare program offered by Enterprise employees, where the finest doctors are just a phone call away. Doctors who treat their patients, not hurt them like Steven Pigely. Because it was a lariat from that man which caused Simon to suffer a neck injury. It’s a minor injury, but it will prevent us from wrestling tonight. “BOO!” COLE Well that’s not a surprise. It was the OAOAST’s hope that Ned could find a replacement, such as another Enterprise member. NED Instead of postponing the match till a later date, OAOAST officials threat to fine and suspend us despite the fact we have a valid doctor’s note that confirms Simon’s injury. It seems as though the Board of Directors are still ticked off about a rib the Enterprise played on them a while back. Fortunately a couple of good Samaritans step forward and volunteered to take our place. So it’s our please to introduce the man who signs our checks, accompanied by his Director of Security CPA, Mackenzie DeCenzo and tag partner Christian Wright…Theodore Moneymaker! Tailored suits, show of your cars Fine hotels and big cigars Up for grabs, up for a price "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Now this is a surprise. I don’t think The Love Doctors mind this substitution at all. They came so close to defeating Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright at Zero Hour. You also know they haven’t forgotten how the Enterprise tried to slander their names after rejecting a business proposal that could have gotten their medical license revoked. COACH There are no moral victories in professional wrestling, Cole, just winners and losers. But I find the OAOAST threatening to fine and suspend the Beverly Hills Blonds for being unable to compete disgusting. With all the problems that plague wrestling, you’d think the OAOAST would be more supportive of its talent. The music of AC/DC blares through the loud speakers as the Enterprise exchange pleasantries ringside. Suddenly, the group becomes surrounded by OAOAST officials who order the Blonds to the back. “YEAH!” COACH Oh, come on. Like they’d interfere in the match. Once cooler heads prevail, the Blonds agree to the request and return backstage with Molly. * DINGDING * Christian Wright backs Steven Pigley in the corner, but rather than break cleanly The Natural fakes a blow to the head, causing the doctor to cover up in self-defense, and drives his knee into the midsection! MONEYMAKER Wright smashes Pigley into the turnbuckle located in the Enterprise corner and tags Theodore Moneymaker. But the first ever One & Only World tag team champions are unable to keep Steven isolated in their corner, as the Doctor of Love fights his way out and makes the tag to his colleague. Rapid-fire PALM STRIKES and SPINNING BACKFISTS put Moneymaker on his heels, but the Billion Dollar Heir answers back with a well placed kick to the gut. Backed against the ropes Anderson has nowhere to go as Moneymaker tees off, chopping him with all his might. Then an Irish whip, but Max reverses and nails Theodore on the rebound with the ANDERSON SPINEBUSTER!! COLE Dr. Max with the quick cover! COACH The Love Doctors trying to score a cheap one, Cole. But I’ll give them this: at least they understand the longer the match goes the less likely they are of winning. Teddy and CW are the two most finely conditioned men in the OAOAST. ONE… KICKOUT! Anderson stuns Moneymaker with a series of right hands, but not enough to prevent Theodore from reversing an Irish whip of his own. Unfortunately it leads to a blind tag and a sell off of Enterprise stock as Moneymaker is caught going up for a leapfrog and drilled with a SPRINGBOARD CLOTHESLINE! “YEAH!” COLE A modified Defibrillator! One with extra high voltage! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! The pin is broken up by Christian Wright, who then baits Anderson inside to keep the ref busy while he dumps Pigley over the top and sends him crashing shoulder-first into the steel steps! Needless to say, the loud noise caused by the collision garners the attention of referee Charles Robinson and a stern warning for Christian Wright. COLE The ends justify the means, right, Coach? COACH Actions speak louder than words, Cole. Everything was going The Love Doctors way, and now look at them. One move shift all the momentum back to the Enterprise. Steven rolls back in clutching his shoulder, but Theodore Moneymaker shows no mercy, slamming the doctor on his arm before punishing the shoulder with successive knee drops. An exchange is made and Christian Wright drops a BIG ELBOW onto the outstretched arm of Dr. Steven from the middle rope! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Wright bars the arm and presses his left knee against Pigley’s face, grinding the other side in the canvas! COLE Did the Enterprise have a bad quarter or what? I don’t recall this kind of aggression from Christian Wright in the past. But it’s clear their strategy is to take away the arm used to deliver that decapitating lariat. COACH CW and Teddy want another reign as tag champions, Cole. They won’t get there being nice guys. Just look at The Love Doctors; they haven’t been there at all! *OINK!* *OINK!* *OINK!* MACKENZIE COACH Are these idiots doing what I think they are? COLE We’ve had a couple of first here tonight -- a bachelorette party and oinking to rally behind Dr. Steven Pigley! Incredibly, the power of the oink works. Steven powers to his feet and hammers Christian square between the eyes until he breaks the arm-bar, then levels him with a standing dropkick! “YEAH!” Now it’s a race to see who can make the tag first. Wright is the closest to his corner, but he’s yet to shake off the cobwebs. Pigley hasn’t even begun to move, laid out on his side in a world of hurt. Meanwhile, Theodore has replaced CW as the legal man and brings Steven up to a vertical base for a clothesline, but Pigley rolls through and tags out! COLE Oh, yeah! He did it! He was able to tag the fresh man! Dr. Max goes back to the line of attack that worked so well for him in the opening minutes, a combination of PALM STRIKES and SPINNING BACKFISTS that knock the Billion Dollar Heir off his feet! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Theodore is whipped in, UP and OVER courtesy of a BAAAAAACK body drop. Anderson patiently waits as Moneymaker staggers to his feet, then kicks him in the gut and delivers a CRADLE PILEDRIVER! COLE Just how bad do the Love Doctors want to win; they’re incorporating new moves into their offense on the fly! Instead of going for the cover Max heads to the top… COACH This is a mistake right here. Mark my words. …and drops down with a 450 SPLASH!! COLE You were saying? COACH ONE… TWO… THREE! NO!! Charles Robinson waves off the pin as CW dives on Max to breakup the count! Dr. Steven returns to the mix, bad shoulder and all, and dukes it out with The Natural. Christian rakes the eyes and takes aim with a SUPERKICK…but Steven ducks and Wright CROTCHES HIMSELF ON THE TOP ROPE! Fortunately the Love Doctors are kind enough to assist CW, who’s straddling the top, to the floor with a DOUBLE DROPKICK! “YEAH!” MACKENZIE The focus shifts to the upper right corner of the ring as Theodore is prepped for a Gurney to the Center of the Earth. Sensing defeat, Mackie hops on the apron to chat with the referee while CPA slips inside and catches Steven flying off the top with a FRONT SPINEBUSTER, then nails Max with a BIG BOOT! “BOO!” The jeers turn to cheers as Charles Robinson calls for the bell. * DINGDINGDING * COACH Don’t tell me he saw that. He couldn’t have. After a brief conversation with Michael Buffer, Charles walks over to the fallen Love Doctors and RAISES THEIR HANDS! "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COLE The Docs have won it! COACH No way! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. The winners of the match, as result of a disqualification… THE LLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOVVEEEEE DOCTOORRRRSSSS!! Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case-- The music is abruptly cut as the BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS join CPA in a 3 on 1 assault. “BOO!” COLE This is totally unnecessary. No reason for this at all. The match is over, damnit! Somebody get help out here. Now! Following a DOUBLE FEATURE FLAPJACK on Steven and SPIKE PILEDRIVER on Max, the Blonds place both Docs near each other and come off opposite corners with a BIG SPLASH! COACH The Atomic Blond! OAOAST officials finally arrive to restore order, getting the Enterprise out of the ring. COLE What a situation we have here. And I’m sure we haven’t heard the last of it. * COMMERCIAL *

We're taken to the OAOAST ActionZone, where diva personality Maggie Nerdly, attired in a ruffled lace black skirt, and a black polo shirt, sits atop the news desk. MAGGIE What's up ya'll? Maggie Nerdly, your it girl on the scene, reminding you that if you got a web browser, and internet connection and a need to have a kick ass time, then you've got an all acess pass to the VIP lounge of OAOAST AfterParty, only on OAOAST.com. This week, we got mad celebrity guests up in the VIP lounge as The Coach talks hoops with Stephen A. Smith, Krista and her lookalike Charlize Theron give us some animal rights awareness news, and we'll go shopping with Alix Maria Spezia and The Hills' Brody Jenner. Check it out on AfterParty! COMMERCIAL COMING UP NEXT TITLE FOR TITLE REJECT VS SANDMAN9000 NEXT HeldDOWN Returns! The lights dim, then begin going crazy, as if a virus has infected them, randomly jerking around the arena, frantically changing colors and turning off and on. It’s as if a bad anime scene has come to life. COLE The Heartland champion about to make his appearance! Loud scratching fills the airwave, as if a DJ has lost their mind and is attempting to break their equipment. In-between the rips, legitimate music kicks on, of a Southern, heavy metal nature. I ask you please just give us/ Five Minutes Alone.” The lights continue to dart and flash as the music leaves and the scratching continues, only to come back again, now of a hip-hop nature. White America/ I could be one of your kids.” The rap fades out and the scratching continues, at an even greater pace, until music comes back, now of a hardcore variety. Final Prayer/ Final prayer for the human race.” The music leaves once again and the scratches reach their apex, before the sound cuts out and the arena goes pitch black. A single spotlight appears on the stage, the only light in the darkened arena. People look towards the light, but see nothing. Then People = Shit by Slipknot hits. HERE WE GO AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER! A figure punches through the curtains, wearing torn black jeans, a sleeveless black t-shirt, and two bandanas, one over his face and the other over his head. His hands are taped up, with a red "X" on the back of each of them. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is a title-for-title match! Introducing first, hailing from South of Heaven...weighing in at 220 pounds...he is the OAOAST Heartland champion...SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNDMMMMMMAAAAAAAAA AAAANNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNE THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND!!!!! COLE And as Michael Buffer just said, both Sandman's and Reject's titles are on the line in this match, just six days before Sandman defends against "After Hours" Felix Strutter at the Halloween Spectacular! Sandman walks slowly down the aisle, then climbs into the ring, removing his bandanas, and calmly waits as Renegade hits and Reject makes his way through the curtains, to the boos of the crowd. COLE And here comes his opponent! BUFFER His opponent, hailing from the Bronx, weighing in at 235 pounds...he is the OAOAST International champion of the WORLD...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJECT!!!!! COACH And Cole, even if Sandman does win this match, how much will he have for Felix in six days? COLE Only time will tell! Reject rolls into the ring and poses on the buckles with his belt, then hands it to the referee. As Sandman hands his to the referee, Reject attempts to attack from behind, but Sandman sees it coming, and ducks, then starts delivering right hands! *DING DING DING* COACH Here we go! Sandman whips Reject into the ropes, then backs into the ropes himself, and catches him with a flying forearm! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Sandman catches Reject with an inverted atomic drop, followed by a big headbutt which sends him down to the canvas! He then backs into the ropes as Reject gets to his feet, and catches him with a flying bodypress! 1... 2... Kickout! Reject quickly slides to the outside, and slaps the apron in frustration. He walks around the ring, taking a count, then climbs onto the apron and starts jawing with ringsiders. COLE Reject really taking his time getting back in there... Reject finally climbs back inside, and moves in for a tieup. Reject gets in a knee to the gut, then a right hand, and a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Reject scoops up Sandman, but Sandman slides behind the back, and shoves Reject into the ropes for a reverse sunset flip, but Reject hooks the ropes to block! COLE And a nice block by Reject right there! Reject takes more time to play to the fans, however, and Sandman dropkicks him from behind, sending him over the top to the floor! COLE But Sandman stays with it, and Reject out to the floor again! Reject stalls some more, then jaws with the fans from the apron once again, and Sandman pulls him back inside the hard way! Sandman then throws forearms at Reject, backing him into the ropes, as the referee moves him away. Sandman moves the referee out of the way, and charges...but Reject backdrops him to the floor! COACH Good move! COLE Sandman all the way out to the floor! Reject follows Sandman out, and tosses him back inside. He stomps away at him on the mat, then chokes away, breaking at the referee's four-count. The referee backs him off, and Reject poses to the crowd, drawing boos. He then lifts Sandman in the corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Reject whips Sandman across the ring. Sandman ducks a clothesline, then Reject drops down, and catches him with a spinning wheel kick! COLE Wow, what a spinning kick by Reject! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Reject drops a fist on Sandman, then climbs to the top rope. He waits for Sandman to get to his feet...and hits a MISSILE DROPKICK~! COACH Yeah! COLE Big dropkick! 1... 2... Kickout! COACH Oh, here we go again, Hebner! Reject argues with the referee for a bit, then executes a FISHERMAN'S BUSTER~! 1... 2... NO! Kickout! Reject gets right up in Hebner's face this time, long enough for Sandman to roll him up from behind! 1... 2... Kickout! Reject quickly knocks Sandman back to the mat, then picks him up and tosses him to the floor. He taunts the crowd once again as Hebner counts. Once Hebner gets close, Reject goes out and gets Sandman, tossing him back inside. He drops another fist on him, then goes to the top rope. COLE And Reject going upstairs! COACH Could be his big elbow! Reject gets his balance, but instead goes for a SOMERSAULT SENTON~!...but Sandman rolls out of the way! COLE Nobody home! Both men lay on the mat, as the referee counts... 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! Sandman sits up, and starts to get to his feet. Reject follows, and charges Sandman as he gets up in the corner, but Sandman moves out of the way! He then grabs Reject from behind, and delivers a back suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Sandman delivers BOOT SCRAPES~! to Reject as he lays on the mat, then picks him up, and executes a snapmare, followed by a seated dropkick! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! Sandman picks Reject up, putting him in a standing headscissors. He lifts him overhead, over his back...and drops with the WIDOW'S PEAK~! COACH Oh no! COLE That could be it! 1... 2... NO!!! Shoulder up! COLE And Reject, to his credit, keeps on fighting! Sandman goes to pick him up again, but Reject goes to the eyes. COACH And still thinking offense! Sandman staggers back into the ropes, and Reject charges, but gets dumped over the top! Reject catches himself on the apron, but Sandman knocks him to the floor with a YAKUZA KICK~! COLE BIG kick from Sandman, and Reject to the outside! Sandman backs into the ropes, and leaps out with a HANDS-FREE SOMERSAULT PLANCHA~! COLE And Sandman flies to the outside! Sandman delivers some right hands, then rolls back inside. Reject slowly crawls to the apron, and Sandman tries to pull him in, but the referee steps in between and backs Sandman off. This gives Reject time to go into his tights. COLE Uh-oh, Reject could have some sort of foreign object here... Reject applies a set of brass knuckles, as Sandman makes his way back over, and takes a big swing, which Sandman ducks, and tries to bring him in with a back suplex, but Reject pops him with the knucks! COLE I don't think the referee noticed it! 1... 2... NO!!! Shoulder up! COACH Come ON, ref! Reject gets to his feet, and backs Hebner into a corner. Sandman works his way to his feet, and charges, but Reject moves, and shoves Sandman into Hebner! COLE And Earl Hebner gets sandwiched there between Sandman and the buckles! Sandman turns around, and gets caught with the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 COLE EULOGY~! Reject with the cover... Hebner crawls slowly over, then calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COACH What's going on? Reject gets to his knees, and Hebner grabs his hand, which still has the knucks on it, then points to them and waves his arms before conferring with Buffer. BUFFER The winner of the match, as a result of a disqualification...SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNDMMMMMMA AAAAAAAA AAAANNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNE THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND!!!!! COACH Where the hell do you come up with that? Reject gets to his feet and walks over to Hebner, who pleads his case, and Reject nods his head in agreement, then turns to walk away...but instead suddenly delivers the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 to Hebner! COLE And now the Eulogy on Earl Hebner! COACH Good, he deserves it! Sandman then slugs away at Reject, taking him down to the mat, when Felix Strutter runs to the ring... COLE And here comes Felix Strutter... COACH Oh my GOD... COLE ...and look who's behind him! Stalking to the ring behind Strutter is none other than DEON BLACK! COLE It's that MONSTER, the Manitoba Mammoth, Deon Black! We haven't seen him in MONTHS! COACH Felix said he had a big surprise tonight, and it don't get no bigger than this man! Black steps over the top rope, and grabs Sandman, knocking him to the mat with a headbutt! Reject heads down the aisle as Black continues to hammer away. COACH Look at the size of this man, Cole! Black goozles Sandman, and executes a BIG chokeslam! COLE One-armed chokeslam! Black then picks up Sandman again, and scoops him up onto this shoulders...then brings him around for the SWAN RIVER SLAM~!!!!!11111 COLE What a devastating maneuver! Black slowly gets to his feet, and holds his arms out as the crowd boos. Strutter poses along with him as Girls, Girls, Girls plays. COLE This MONSTER has come back to the OAOAST and has decimated the Heartland champion here tonight! What does this mean for the Halloween Spectacular? Black and Strutter continue to taunt the crowd as the camera fades to black!

"It Ain't Over For Me" leads us to the beginning of our next bout, as Contestant Number One is just about to grace us (sarcasm, btw!) with his presence on this pre-Halloween episode of HeldDOWN~! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this next match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Atlanta, GA. Weighing in tonight at two hundred and twenty five pounds, he proudly proclaims to be the Most Hated Man in OAOAST History...STEPHEN JOOOOOSEPH! Looking every bit as cocky as he was when he walked through the door five years ago, Popick makes his way to the ring to the expected fan reaction. Having grown used to it after all this time, the jeers bounce off of Popick like rubber, and he gets in the ring and uses the hatred to gloat to the fans and get under their skin just a bit more...until a certain Papa Roach song hits! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAH!" BUFFER His opponent hails from Providence, RI. Weighing in tonight at two hundred and ten pounds, he is the "Modern Day Warrior", he is "The Franchise"...he is ZAAAAAAAAAACK MAAAAAAAAALIBUUUU! The look on Popick's face is the same stoneface expression you're bound to get whenever he and Malibu are in the same room, let alone in the same ring against each other! Malibu heads up the aisle looking back at his old foe, completely ready to relive their rivalry one more time here tonight. The bell sounds, and the two old rivals go nose to nose, this being the first time they've faced off in in-ring action in several years. Zack steps back and motions for Popick to take the first shot, but SJ simply smirks, and starts circling his opponent. Malibu keeps an eye on him and walks backwards, circling the ring as well, before they come to the center of the ring, ready to lock up... ...and Popick turns and hops through the ropes, out to the floor! COLE Looks like someone is making Zack play the waiting game! The fans react instantly, jeering the cowardice of the detested Stephen Joseph. Popick walks around the ring, rolling his eyes at his detractors, then hops up on the apron and steps back into the ring. COLE All right, here we go now! As he walks towards Zack, the Preppy One ties up with him, and the two jockey for position until Popick grabs a headlock. He wrenches his arm around Zack's head, but Zack shoves him off rather easily...and when Zack starts moving towards him, Popick ducks out of the ring once again! COLE Look at this...Popick, after all this years, is still running away from Zack Malibu! Malibu calls for Popick to come back in the ring, but SJ simply glares back at his longtime rival. Popick gets back up on the apron slower than the walking dead, and continues to glare at Zack from the apron. The stall tactic starts grating on everyone's nerves, especially the crowd, who blast Popick with a loud, hardly encouraging chant. "CHICKEN-SHIT!" "CHICKEN-SHIT!" "CHICKEN-SHIT!" Popick turns red, while Zack waves his arms for the chant to get louder. Knowing that this is surely pissing ol' BPP off, Zack smiles and waves him on, daring him to come back into the ring. COACH Don't let them get under your skin, SJ...pace yourself! Despite the warnings from Coach, history repeats itself quickly, as Popick steps through the ropes and charges at Zack, who stuns him with a right hand as he's running towards him, dropping Popick to the mat! Popick rushes up to his feet, but when he's up, he starts getting rocked by a series of hard, open slaps across his face from Malibu! Popick reels, but manages to drive a boot into Zack's gut, cutting off the flurry. He takes Zack by the arm and sends him to the ropes, but makes the mistake of dropping his head, taking his eye off Zack! A hard instep kick follows, sending Popick staggering back to a vertical base, and now Zack starts waylaying him with hard chops, forcing him to step back with every shot before taking him by the head and nailing him with a European uppercut that knocks Popick through the ropes and out to the floor! COLE Well, if Popick likes it out on the floor so much, I guess Zack felt obligated to send him there! It's hardly a vacation for Popick, as Malibu jumps out of the ring right after him. Zack spins a weary Popick around and nails him with a hard chop, then sends his face into the ring apron, which drops Popick to his knees! Zack pulls him up and then shoots him into the guardrail, then follows up with a running clothesline that cracks Popick's lower back against the metal barrier! Zack then takes him by the head and hurls him back into the ring, sliding in after his old foe. COACH Finally, we get back to action! COLE What would you call the last three minutes? COACH Weren't we at commercial? COLE Uh, no. COACH Sorry Mikey Cole, this new iPhone can be pretty distracting! In the ring, Popick sees Zack standing over him, and he heads for the corner, begging off. Popick pleads his case to Zack, telling him "we're friends", but Zack knocks the attempt at a handshake away, and biels Popick out of the corner! Angered now, Popick gets up and charges, but gets taken down with a drop toehold! Zack hits the ropes and looks for a kneedrop to the back of the head, but he misses, as SJ pulls up at the last second! Zack hops to his feet, but he's immediately taken out wtih a short clothesline, and now Popick starts stomping him down! COLE Stephen Joseph with the opening, and he's looking to work Zack over! Popick picks Zack up and throws him into the corner, then wraps his hands around the throat of the OAOAST Original, choking him against the ropes! Referee Nick Patrick will have none of that and backs Popick away, reprimanding him for the infraction...but as is typical of Popick, he brushes the referee off! As Zack gasps for air, he's stunned by a shoulderblock to the ribs...and then a taunting slap from Popick, who calls him on by shouting "C'mon, hero!" after the fact! Malibu bolts out of the corner and shoots for the legs, taking Popick down to the canvas, and then starts firing punche and elbows from the mount! Popick can't cover up, as Malibu is laying into him, then brings him to his feet...and Popick jabs a thumb in his eye, then delivers a headbutt that staggers Zack! Popick then grabs him and traps Zack in a headlock, putting the big squeeze on Zack's cranium! Zack struggles, reaching out for the ropes, but his hand can't even graze them, as Popick has him far enough away to prevent a rope break. Popick squeezes again, which can't be comfortable for Zack, so the former OAOAST World Champion powers Popick off his feet, lifting him up for a back suplex to break...but Popick twists himself so that he falls on top of Zack when the two land on the canvas! ONE! T-KICKOUT! COACH Close one, but a nice move by Popick there! As they recover, Popick blasts Zack across the back of the head with a forearm shot, then sends him into the ropes, and up into the air with a back bodydrop! Gravity sends Malibu back down to earth, and when he gets up, SJ grabs him in a rear waistlock! Zack keeps his feet planted, not allowing himself to be taken over while at the same time firing elbows back to get the break! Popick backs off after getting drilled in the cheek, allowing Zack to hit the ropes...but Popick hits a running knee that doubles Zack over! Flustered, Popick drags Zack off the mat and tosses him into the corner, then wails on him with hard chops that redden his chest! SJ then throws Malibu over his shoulder and pushes him up onto the third rope, then heads up the ropes himself, striking Zack with a pair of punches to daze him...but Malibu fights back, shoving Popick down to the canvas! Popick catches his footing and climbs right back up, only this time Zack sees it coming and fights back again, nailing Popick with a hard right hand and then shoving him off the ropes! Popick falls to the canvas but is quick to get back to his feet...which Malibu times perfectly as he gets to his feet and leaps off the ropes with a huracanrana! Stephen Joseph is sent across the ring, and when Malibu gets to his feet he looks to follow up, pulling a stunned Stephen Joseph up onto his shoulders for an airplane spin...but after one rotation, Popick is able to grab the ropes, and Nick Patrick orders the break! Zack begrudgingly puts Popick down, then charges...and winds up elevated over the top! Zack lands on the apron, and when Popick turns around shoots a shoulder through the ropes...but SJ sidesteps it, and then kicks Zack in the side of the head! Popick then grabs Zack by the head and drags him into the ring, holding him horizontal so that his feet are hooked on the middle rope...and then he drives him headfirst into the canvas with a spike DDT that makes the crowd gasp in horror! COLE Zack Malibu could be out cold, and Popick could have the win here! After dragging him away from the ropes, Popick covers the longtime thorn in his side, hooking a leg and calling for the count. ONE! TWO! NO! SHOULDER UP! COACH He had him there! C'mon, he so had him there! A snarl creeps across Popick's face as he's forced to listen to the cheers of the fans, who are glad Malibu escaped defeat at the hands of the Most Hated Man In OAOAST History. Popick then locks on a sleeperhold, drawing more boos, as he looks to put the semi-conscious superstar into a state of slumber en route to victory! "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" The rally starts up through the crowd, as a weary Malibu can barely muster the strength to fight off the submission hold. Popick scowls at the fans, telling them to shut their damn mouths, as he keeps the hold applied. Valiantly, Zack fights on, reaching for the ropes to force Popick to break the sleeper, but just as before, he can't get there! Popick holds on tight as Zack struggles, until finally, Zack is able to shift himself so that he can drive an elbow into Popick's bread basket! And another! And another! And a fourth one that does the job! The fans roar as Zack breaks the hold, but he collapses to one knee, visibly worn...and the fresher Popick quickly comes from behind and takes him over with a German suplex...THEN ROLLS TO HIS FEET WITH ZACK IN TOW! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE What a smarmy bastard...he's copycatting Zack! COACH If you're gonna steal, steal from the best! Popick seems too proud of his actions, and that smile is knocked off his face when an elbow is fired back from Malibu, breaking the waistlock! Zack reaches back and snapmares Stephen Joseph over his shoulder, then cracks him across the back with a hard kick! Popick reels, but a second kick follows and feels just as uncomfortable, and the sting of that one hasn't worn off by the time Zack bounces off the ropes and nails a basement dropkick square in Popick's face! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" COLE Don't ever count Zack Malibu out! Popick had him down, he had him worn, but then he had to get cocky, and now he's paying for it! SJ rolls to his feet, trying to regain the momentum he lost, while Zack fires himself up and gains some steam. Popick gets to his feet, but Malibu hits the ropes and nails him with a leaping lariat! Popick gets up quickly, but then he's planted by an inverted atomic drop, which is immediately followed by a jawbreaker! SJ stumbles back to the ropes, catching himself from falling...but a Pissed Off Prep comes charging with a running lariat that dumps Popick over the ropes and out to the ringside floor! With the fans urging him on, Zack braces himself, keeping a watchful eye on his opponent...and the second Popick is back up on his feet, Zack is in motion, racing across the ring and soaring over the ropes with a picturesque no hands plancha, crashing down on top of Stephen Joseph Popick! COACH YO! Zack rolls onto his back, holding his ribcage which must be sore after landing from high up above down onto another human being. Zack is the first to his feet, but as soon as he is up, he's shoved forward into the ring apron by an attacker from the crowd...WHO TURNS OUT TO BE THA PUERTO RICAN! COLE Via satellite my ass! He was laying in wait! Malibu favors the ribs as he reels from the crash into the apron, but he's then spun around and dropped on the floor with a uranage from PRL! The crowd starts booing heavily as PRL continues to work Zack over before rolling him into the ring. PRL then checks on Stephen Joseph, helping him to his feet and pointing out that Malibu is prone for a cover. Popick creeps in under the bottom rope and crawls onto Malibu, while PRL backs up, proud of his handywork. ONE! TWO! THR-KICKOUT! ZACK KICKS OUT! PRL freezes in his tracks, cutting his retreat off, while Popick pounds the mat in disbelief. As he stands up, he eyes PRL, who doesn't know what to say, until he comes back towards ringside and motivates Popick to "take his ass out!" SJ pulls Zack up and traps him in a facelock, readying him for a Fallen Angel...but Zack kicks his legs back, not allowing himself to be hoisted into the air! He shoves Popick backwards, then fire's off a flash SCHOOL'S OUT...but Popick catches the foot and spins Zack around, schoolboying him along with grabbing a handful of tights! ONE! TWO! NO! ZACK GRABS THE BOTTOM ROPE! COLE Popick thought he had this one won, but Zack Malibu got to the ropes when he needed to! PRL seems to be growing angered, almost embarrassed that Popick hasn't been able to finish Zack off, even with his help. Popick pulls Zack up again and fires him to the ropes...but Zack uses the momentum to nail PRL with a baseball slide! Zack then climbs up onto the apron and springboards in with a bodypress...but Popick rolls through with it, and again has Zack's shoulders to the mat! ONE! TWO! SHOULDER UP! Now Popick is really heated, because the memories come flooding back...he's always had trouble defeating Zack Malibu, and this time is no exception! He pulls Zack up to his knees, and pounds on his temple with hard shots, driving his knuckles into Malibu's head. He scoops him up, but before he can slam him, Zack slides down his back and grabs a rear waistlock, and brings Popick over with a GERMAN SUPLEX~! Zack rolls through, bringing his foe back up to a vertical base...and German Suplex Number 2 follows! They come up again, but as they do PRL tries climbing into the ring to go after Malibu for the shot he took at him a few moments ago! Patrick hurries over to prevent the interference, and with his eyes off the competitors, Popick fires a leg back, catching Zack low! Malibu doubles over, and Popick quickly turns around and grabs him, planting him with a quick Fallen Angel that leaves him looking up at the lights, and Patrick turns around just in time to see the pin! ONE! TWO! THREE! COLE Well I'll be damned! Stephen Joseph Popick, en route to a title match that some say he doesn't deserve, has just defeated Zack Malibu right here on HeldDOWN~! Popick thrusts his arms in the air like he's just won millions, while PRL, angered from earlier and holding his jaw, looks in the ring. SJ climbs up on the ropes and motions to him, asking him if he just saw what he did, and PRL offers a slight nod before looking at Zack and scowling. COLE Tha Puerto Rican tried to exact some revenge on Zack Malibu that backfired, but his ally still pulls out the win. We weave a tangled web here on HeldDOWN~!, but we'll try to unravel some more of it when we return after this!

We return to the Air Canada Center with our focused placed squarely on the dimly lit entrance set. Shine by Collective Soul hits, and Quentin Benjamin comes through the curtains, followed by Charlie Moss. COLE Team Heyross ready for action here on HeldDOWN~! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Making their way to the ring, at a total combined weight of 480 pounds...the team of CHARLIE MOSS and QUENTIN BENJAMIN...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMM HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRRRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS S!!!!! The crowd boos, with some cheers scattered in between. Benjamin climbs onto the apron, then climbs onto the second rope on the corner nearest the main camera, and looks into the camera, holding out his arms, then points into the camera while talking some trash. Meanwhile, Moss climbs into the ring and raises his arms, then jogs slowly in place. COACH I see some big times ahead for Team Heyross, Cole, I can just feel it coming! These guys are due! BUFFER Their opponents...first, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 245 pounds...Todd Howard! Howard raises his hands, to a golf clap from the crowd. His partner, from Anaheim, California, weighing in at 220 pounds...Troy Beckett! *DING DING DING* COLE And it'll be Quentin Benjamin starting things off here, along with Troy Beckett out of Anaheim, California! Benjamin and Beckett circle the ring, and tie up. Benjamin grabs a side headlock, and Beckett backs him into the ropes and shoves him across. Beckett runs across the other way, and we get a CRISS CROSS~! COACH Oh, it's the old criss-cross, Cole! After three trips, Benjamin makes a blind tag to Moss, and keeps running. He hops over Beckett, then Moss steps in and double leg trips him from behind. Benjamin follows this up with a legdrop to the back of the head! COLE Nice teamwork from Team Heyross, resulting in the legdrop! Moss picks up Beckett, and executes a vertical suplex, floating over for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Moss attempts an Irish whip, but Beckett reverses. Beckett puts his head down, however, and Moss delivers a kick! Moss follows with a savate kick, then a butterfly suplex! Moss starts to pull Beckett over to the corner, but Beckett holds onto Moss, then delivers a headbutt to the midsection, and tags in Howard. COLE And how about that move by Troy Beckett, able to make the tag, and now it's Todd Howard out of Philly! Howard immediately gets caught in an armdrag, however, and Moss bars the arm. Moss wrenches on it as Howard gets to his feet, then scoops him up, and executes a rib breaker! He then tags Benjamin back in, before barring the arm once again. COACH See, these guys are smart! Great teamwork! Benjamin goes to the top, and comes down with a chop onto the shoulder of Howard! He then tags Moss right back in, and Moss runs to the ropes, as Benjamin gets behind Howard, and they complete the DOUBLE GOOZLE~! COLE And there's the Double Goozle! COACH It's about go-time, Cole! Moss runs over and knocks Beckett off the apron, as Benjamin climbs to the outside and climbs to the top. Moss slaps his hand, then lifts Howard onto his shoulders, and Benjamin completes the SUPER ROCKER DROPPER~!!!!!11111 COLE And that'll close the book on this one! 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* BUFFER The winners of the match...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMM HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRRRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS S!!!!! COLE Team Heyross impressive as always, and for once, I agree with the Coach, better times no doubt ahead for these two great athletes! COACH Them good things is coming up October 31st on the Halloween Spectacular, because I'm going on record right now and stating that Team Heyross is my pick to win the costume battle royal. These guys are due for an OAOAST tag title reign. And its time for the rest of the division to pay up. Holla! COLE Who cares about titles? I'm just dying to know what those strapping young lads will or won't be wearing! COACH These dudes are as serious as a heartattack, I can't imagine they've ever worn a costume in their lives. We'll see what they got cooking on Halloween. For now, let's pay make dem ends, playboys! COMMERCIAL

OAOAST HeldDOWN is brought to you by.... Lions For Lambs-In theatres November 9th Subway-Eat Fresh Ununm-Better Benefits At Work As we return to HeldDOWN~!, "The Church Of Hot Addiction" by Cobra Starship hits. Those fans who don't watch our weekly weekend show OAOAST Syndicated and therefore don't get to see many of our 'up and coming' workers in action are confused, until through the entrance doors walks British Columbia's favourite son James Blonde. Looking every inch the superstar in his long, faux fur coat, Blonde swaggers to the ring as a few steps behind him, the monstrous Faqu trails behind. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag-team contest is scheduled for one fall! On the way to the ring are team number one... total combined weight, five hundred and nine pounds. They are the team of "THE MOVER FROM VANCOUVER" JJAAAAAAAMMEEEEEESSSS BBLLLLLLLOOOOOOONNDDEEEEE... and, "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL"... FFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAQQUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Faqu and Blonde are returning tonight from suspension, after their 'pitch invasion' during the Penalty Shootout between Nathaniel Black and Jamie O'Hara. Their cohort Black is still under suspension as O'Hara sits at home on the DL list. As you'll remember, he took that soccer ball clean in the face and has been suffering from blurred vision ever since. And we certainly wish Jamie a speedy recovery and look forward to having him back on HeldDOWN~! As Blonde slides into the ring and shows off his fine taste in faux fur, the menacing frame of Faqu climbs the steps and has Buffer and referee Mike Chioda backing into a further away corner. COACH Well, Faqu and Blonde are unbeaten in tag team competition since HI-YAH got bought out. But until now they've not even been in consideration for a One and Only Tag Team Title shot, so maybe they've got reason to be frustrated with the OAOAST. COLE Personally, I think Black's got in their ear. But that's another story for another time. Blonde stands behind Faqu, who stares down the empty aisleway breathing deeply and noisily, talking in his partner's ear and generally psyching him up. As this happens, the opening to "Rock You Like A Hurricane" by The Scorpions begins to hum around the arena. COLE Speaking of returns... As the sock kicks into gear, the entrance doors part and for the first time in a couple of months they summon out The Christ Air Express! The twin brothers jog onto the stage and hit a leaping double-high five, before marching on to the ring with hand-slaps for all! With a new look, The Express wear new long wrestling tights, decked out in orange and blue and also sport new shorter haircuts. BUFFER And their opponents... now residing in Laguna Beach, California! They weigh in a total combined weight of three hundred, seventy five pounds... here are MARV and MEL, THE CHRIST AIR... EEEEEXXXXPPRRRREEEEESSSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Earlier in the week, we got a few words from the new and improved Christ Air Express, about their new direction in their career. Let's take a look... OAOAST A small square box SWOOPS~ in and settles on the upper right hand side of the picture. In front of the OAOAST HeldDOWN~! backdrop stand the brothers Nerdly. MEL AngleSlam 2007 will go down as the worst night in our career. But out of adversity comes triumph. We've been sitting at home for months now, watching The Heavenly Rockers, Holly-Wood and our own brother Abdullah terrorising the OAOAST tag-team division. We looked at ourselves and damnit, we wanted to help. We wanted to come back and tear ass through those SOBs. But let's face it, what were The Sk8ter Boiz gonna do? MARV We've spent the last couple of years in the OAOAST living a joke. Everywhere we go, we have to carry around that stigma of being jokes. Nobody expected us to come back for revenge. Nobody cared. Well, we came to realise in our time away the team we can be. Life is short, too short to be laughing stocks through all of it. We've been OAOAST Tag Team Champions before but let's face it, that doesn't count. I mean, come on, we celebrated our title win with a cake from our old school-teacher for crying out loud! During our time away, we got a phonecall from somebody who made us realise what we can achieve if we put our minds to it. If we straighten up, ditch the crap and ge serious, we can make a real difference in the OAOAST. We can be Champions again. We can get our retribution. MEL First though, we had to ditch the stigmas. The stigma of The Sk8ter Boiz. The stigma of Hell Mel and The Marv. The stigma of being 'The Nerdly Brothers'. From this moment on, we're Nerdlys in name only. From now on, we're just MARV and MEL. We're not The Sk8ter Boiz. From now on, we're are The Christ Air Express. And from now on, you're gonna see a whole new MARV and MEL! MARV makes the "RAWK" hand signal. HELDDOWN~! Back to live action and MARV and MEL have long since hit the ring. Infact, we're about ready to go as MARV elects to start for his team. On the opposite side, Blonde has to virtually coax his volatile partner into starting the match on the apron. *DINGDINGDING!* COLE Well, with all that said, we're ready to go. Both of these teams will be involved in the Costume Battle Royal at the Halloween Spectacular next Wednesday night, with a chance to become One And Only World Tag Team Champions! And a big chance to get some momentum going for them tonight. Blonde swaggers over to MARV and shows no respect what-so-ever for the new and improved 'Sk8ter Boi' as he shoves him in the chest! Knocked a couple of steps backwards MARV shows his days of being treated a joke are long over as he shoves Blonde right back! Blonde doesn't look convinced though, smirking as he throws a clothesline at MARV. But MARV ducks the line, catching Blonde as he turns around and unloading with a series of short elbows. With Blonde backed up, MARV tries a whip... reversed, MARV sent for the ride. But as he rebounds MARV goes low, baseball sliding through the legs of the set Blonde. Quickly to his feet, MARV jumps up onto the confused Blonde's shoulders and pushes forward, taking him over with a Victory Roll... 1... 2... No! Blonde tries again with the clothesline and again comes up with nought. MARV ducks underneath the clothesline and comes off the ropes, throwing a dropkick to knock Blonde down. Back up scrambles Blonde, the fact he's clearly getting frustrated causing him to march right into an armdrag which MARV hangs onto with an armbar. COLE And no ring-rust from MARV thus far! COACH What the hell is this with the names? MARV and MEL? Are the capitals supposed to be intimidating? Are they Japanese wrestlers all of a sudden? COLE You'd have to ask whoever's behind their makeover. Bringing Blonde to his feet by the arm, MARV tags out to MEL. The (ever so slightly) older twin comes off the top with an axehandle to the arm and takes over with a quick wringer. Blonde goes straight to the gut with a knee though, breaking that up. Backing MEL up, Blonde shoots his opponent off the ropes and lowers his head ready for a backdrop. He telegraphs the move, as so many do, which allows MEL the time to adjust and leapfrog over him on the run. MEL continues into the ropes as Blonde looks up wondering why he 'backdropped' nothing but thin air, finding MEL soaring towards him with a Crossbody! 1... 2... No! Again Blonde rushes in. And again, he gets armdragged over and placed in the armBAR~! COLE Again, fine wrestling from The Express. This is what they're capable of, this is what the reinvention is about, to try and accentuate the positives without the past hanging over them. COACH So, some new tights and some capital letters, suddenly they're a level above Faqu and James Blonde? COLE If anybody in the OAOAST knows about re-inventing themselves in an effort to get some respect, it's James Blonde and Faqu. With the arm still barred, Blonde climbs to his feet and uses MEL's skater hairdo for some leverage. The referee quickly makes sure he stops that and MEL instantly wrings out the arm again. And again. And again, the third wringer causing Blonde to flip over onto his back! Blonde kicks his feet in frustration as MEL hangs onto the wrist and reaches out a foot for the tag. COLE Ah, the old foot-tag. There's the sign of a great tag-team! MEL flattens out the arm on the canvas, using the five count to his advantage while MARV comes off the top with a big kneedrop! Rolling away holding his arm, Blonde finds himself stuck in a neutral corner and is left with no other option than to beg off. He even goes so far as to offer his hand in friendship. Ever the nice-guy, MARV is happy to accept... in order to pull Blonde up by the hand and wring out the arm again! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Another tag is made by The CAE, the arm held out for a Top Rope Double Stomp from MEL! COLE I'm telling you, MARV and MEL are on point here tonight! COACH I'm sure The Heavenly Rockers are quaking in their boots. COLE They ought to be. MEL and MARV have not forgotten what happened to them, I guarantee you. Let's not forget, Melody Nerdly will return to The Love Shack at Halloween Spectacular too. The Heavenly Rockers are making a lot of enemies and sooner or later, it's going to come back to bite them! Re-asserting the pressure on the arm, MEL snapmares Blonde to the canvas and bars up the arm. He again reaches his far foot back in order to offer the tag. But this time, the twins aren't on the same page. MARV isn't looking at his partner, as his attention has been taken by the sudden arrival of THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Well, speak of the devils. What the hell are they doing out here!? COACH I dunno, scouting? Grinning away, Synth and Logan stroll to the ring, Holly-Wood wrapped around her husband like a python. MARV isn't the only one who notices The Heavenly Rockers' presence, as referee Chioda ducks out of the ring to wave them to the back. Synth and Logan takes great delight in telling the ref they're just watching the match though. And they take even more delight as the distraction allows Blonde, having got to his knees, to hit MEL with a LOWBLOW! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Damnit. It didn't take long for The Heavenly Rockers to play their part in this one, huh? Still nursing his arm, Blonde walks to his corner and makes sure Chioda is watching as he makes the tag to Faqu. COACH Oh here we go! COLE Here comes The Wrecking Ball. Faqu continues to snort away as he walks over to MEL. By the head he drags MEL off the canvas, backing the defenceless Canadian up into a neutral corner... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and hitting him with a chop so hard in hurts MARV!! MEL drops to one knee in the corner, as on the outside the sound of laughter echoes from Synth and Logan's direction. The 300+ pound Faqu just stands over MEL for a couple of seconds, before suddenly pouncing as he grips his taped fingers into the neck of MEL. He drags him upright again... *SLAP!* "OOOOOOOOHHH!" ...and destroys his well-defined chest with another thunderous chop!! COACH Man oh man! You can hear that in the cheapseats! COLE And look at Logan and Synth, standing there laughing at this! Bringing MEL out of the corner, Faqu scoops up and then slams MEL down, all with complete ease. Taking a couple of steps backwards The Samoan Wrecking Ball then measures his prey, before leaping up and dropping a big headbutt into the shoulder blade of MEL! Blonde quickly 'encourages' his partner to make the cover and Faqu does just that... 1... 2... No! From the floor, The Heavenly Rockers cheer Faqu on. Hearing this in the distance, Faqu looks over in their direction and just shoots a glare at The Rockers who suddenly become very defensive. It's only when a chant of "SLUT!" starts up through the arena that they stop trying make friends with the Samoan. LOGAN :devil: Blonde gets tagged back in and heads straight up to his middle rope. Clenching up the fist, Blonde stands tall on the second rope and shows off the dual Canadian/Japanese sweatbands on his wrist as he comes off the middle rope with the Marty Jannetty Fistdro... ...NO! MEL rolls out of the way and Blonde hits nothing but canvas! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" The crowd in Orlando cheer... but not just for Blonde's misfortune. The Heavenly Rockers are suddenly heading off to a new position over by the announce table, because LOS DIABLOS DE FUEGO have made their way out from the back and in their direction. COLE Oh yeah! COACH Now hang on a second, this isn't a lumberjill match! What are these fruits doing out here? COLE They're keeping an eye on Logan and Synth methinks! The greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all-time don't look too happy as Los Diablos pitch up in The Christ Air Express corner, the pitchfork pointing in Holly's direction. MARV looks a little distracted at the uninvited guests for a second, before getting behind MEL's attempt to make a tag. COLE We've got a lot of combustable elements around the ring right now, Los Diablos, The Heavenly Rockers... and now, MEL looking for a tag in the ring. We've gotta take a quick break, this match will continue, don't go anywhere! COMMERCIAL BREAK! We return to HeldDOWN~!... and, surprisingly, to a close-up of THE MARDI GRAS HOMEWRECKING CREW! Yes, Rico and Lucius have decided to join in the party and stand watching on from the stage, discussing something behind hands which block out the intrusive camera. Back in the ring meanwhile, MARV has since entered the ring as the legal man and is on the move with James Blonde. Sent into the corner, MARV goes up and over the charge from Blonde, who ends up crashing into the turnbuckles. As Blonde then staggers from the corner, up pops MARV with a Hurricanrana... 1... 2... No! COLE Two count there, welcome back to HeldDOWN~! and as you can see, we've got even more onlookers now. The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew getting a bird's eye view of the action. All of these men out here will be in the Tag Team Title battle royal at The Halloween Spectacular, but we might not have to wait that long for it to break down between these teams! MARV leaves the ring and heads up to the top rope, waiting for Blonde to come his way. Below him, The Heavenly Rockers look on and start to shout abuse the moment MARV looks their way... all this allowing Blonde to rush forward and CROTCH MARV on the top turnbuckle! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE And again The Rockers with a distraction! MEL and MARV are trying to wrestle this match, they're trying to stay focused on business. But that's easier said than done with these two assholes out here. COACH They're doing nothing wrong Michael, they're just trying to watch the match. I suggest you watch that mouth of yours incase they hear you. COLE I'd be surprised if they can hear me over the abuse these fans in Orlando are giving them. And rightly so! Climbing up with MARV, Blonde looks to set him up for a Superplex. However The Mover From Vancouver takes too much time setting him up and suddenly MARV starts to fight back. Jabs up under the ribs soften Blonde up, before a forearm pops him in the mouth. MARV hits another forearm, then shoves Blonde in the chest, sending him flying off the ropes... ...landing on his feet... ...AND CLOTHESLINING MARV OUT OF THE AIR AS HE FLIES TOWARDS HIM!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!!" Cover by Blonde... 1... 2... Kickout! Adjusting his tassle covered elbowpad, Blonde props himself up on the middle rope and gives the signal for a Tornado DDT. Whether MARV sees it or not as he drags himself up isn't clear. But when Blonde goes to catch him with a right hand when he turns around, he blocks it all the same, responding with a punch of his own! MARV then scales the turnbuckles in front of Blonde... and pulls him down with a SUPER HURRICANRANA!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE That oughta do it... but here comes Faqu! The big Samoan doesn't make much of an impact though, as MEL rushes in and cuts him off with a forearm. He manages to stagger the bigman, enough to buy himself and his twin brother some time as they connect with a perfectly timed double dropkick. Faqu doesn't go off his feet though... so they hit another one. Again Faqu doesn't go much more than a step or two back though. For a moment, the twins look to each other and wonder what to do. Which is when Faqu charges them with a double clothesline, forcing them to snap to their senses quickly. They duck the clotheslines and then, when Faqu turns around... THEY STOMP HIS BARE FEET!! COACH NO FAIR! COLE That's what you get for wrestling barefoot! Faqu hobbles around shouting in pain, allowing MARV and MEL to throw a Double Dropsault... or, better yet, a Double Kickflip! The already off-balance Faqu goes into reverse and falls through the ropes to the floor, to a pop from the Orlando crowd! COLE Down goes Faqu! With his partner disposed of, James Blonde tries to pick up the slack... but gets taken down with a double drop toehold by The CAE. Blonde bounces off the mat and comes right back to his feet. But he walks into MARV, who hooks his head over the shoulder and hits a JAWJACKER! And as Blonde staggers away from that move, MEL hooks him by the head and runs the ropes with a SWINGING BULLDOG!! MARV *RAWK~!* Giving his partner the signal, MARV gets elevated up onto the shoulders of MEL. Carrying his brother, MEL then points down at The Heavenly Rockers before throwing MARV up and sends him crashing down across Blonde's chest with a Back Senton!! Leg hooked... 1... The Rockers go to jump in... ...BUT LOS DIABLOS PULL THEM AWAY! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!" 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER Your winners of the match... MARV, MEL, THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESS!! COLE And the fight is on on the floor!! Los Diablos and The Heavenly Rockers continue to slug it out on the outside as The Christ Air Express begin to celebrate their win... right as The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew jump them from behind!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The Orlando crowd are incensed as Lucius and Rico put the boots to MARV and MEL, ruining what should have been a great moment for the returning duo. But help is at hand. And who better to come to someone's aid than RESCUE 911!?! Officer Bosley and EMT Tim suddenly hit the ring, thankfully preventing The CAE from needing either one of their fellow professionals as they attack Rico and Lucius!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE All hell has broken loose out here! Los Diablos and The Heavenly Rockers, 911 and The Home Wrecking Crew! It's the battle royal come early, all we're missing is the costumes!! 911 quickly send Lucius and Rico packing, Lucius clotheslined up and over the top by Bosley and Rico dropkicked to the floor by Tim. Meanwhile, there's no end in sight to Los Diablos and The Heavenly Rockers as they're now in the crowd. Climbing to their feet, MARV and MEL take one look at Bosley and Tim... before the two teams go their seperate ways, 911 chasing Mardi Gras down the aisle while MARV and MEL try to catch up with the retreating Heavenly Rockers!! COACH We're going to need the entire Orlando police department to seperate this! COLE It's chaos on HeldDOWN~! We'll be back! We need a commercial to get this sorted! COMMERCIALS COMING UP NEXT ATHLETICISM PERFECTED TEAM HEYROSS IN ACTION NEXT

HeldDOWN Returns We're taken backstage where Terry Taylor hangs out in the state of the art OAOAST interview lounge. In the background, Los Conquistadors sit on a cushy leather couch playing a tense round of Madden on the 360. What a life that must be, only work once a month, do it for about two minutes, and then spend the rest of time playing videogames. TAYLOR Terry Taylor, backstage awaiting the arrival of four time OAOAST tag team champions, Chicks Over Dicks! But, I haven't seen any sight of the girls. Usually they like to start robbing me of self esteem a couple minutes early to get into a groove. Suddenly, a male production assistant comes running up to Terry, out of breath, and frayed by nervousness. P.A. Oh, man, Terry! Krista has been kidnapped! Just swiped from her dressing room! I called the mounties, but there's nothing they can do! Who can we get to save her? WHOOOSH! Whatever could that sound be? Why its none other then Krista Isadora Duncan, shunning her typical “cutting edge of fashion” look, to wear a skin tight black spandex bodysuit, adorned with a sparkling red tornado on the front. KRISTA (standing in triumphant superhero pose) This sounds like a job for the Blond Tornado! TAYLOR KRISTA Technically, I should spin when I walk, but, after throwing up a quarter of my bodyweight, that become sort of a very bad idea. TAYLOR Hahha! The Blond Tornado? Is this your costume for the battle royal? KRISTA No, Terry, I often enjoy dressing up like a total fucking retard for no real apparent reason. Of course, its my costume, you turd burglar. I thought of going as “pigs in a blanket” but it was so hard to fit all your sisters into that little tiny blanket! Hey, I'm just kidding, Terry, your sisters are beautiful women, and when your oldest finally gives birth, do you think she'd let me keep one of the puppies? TAYLOR I'll have you know my sister's puppies go for two thousand a pop! KRISTA Was that before or after her bout with herpes? But, seriously, Terry, I'm challenging the classic male archetype of superhero and if I can encourage teenage boys and gay/bi/curious girls to celebrate their sexuality through self gratification then right on! TAYLOR Power to the people, my snowbunny sister! But, I have to know, are you mad that the original tag title match was switched from a Run For The Gold to what may be a very overcrowded costume battle royal due to the meddling of Molly Nerdly? KRISTA Mad? Mad? Dears heavens no, good pilgrim! Terrence Taylor what kind of vengeful Jezebel have you pegged me as? Why I'm the epitome of sunshine and blue skies, of cute newborn kittens, yet to be molested by one Terrence Taylor, of the crack of the bat in spring training, of the first taste of a warm oatmeal cookie on a lazy spring afternoon. How could I ever begrudge dear Molly Nerdly her efforts to turn a simple gimmick match into a convoluted hell, which will only yield a mass evacuation of the arena and the fastest ratings drop in TSM history since Who Wants To Be a Pole Dancer: Failed Republican presidential candidate edition. But, man, can Elizabeth Dole grind that ass to some Pussycat Dolls! And Anglesault! Our cherished leader, how I love him, and all men, really. It takes a village, Terry! What a joy it is to toil under a man whos finds it unnecessary to read contracts that were no doubt composed by the legal equivalent of fetal cream syndrome and then compound the problem by throwing in twelve other teams who are already so unpopular that they couldn't get a pop if their last name was corn. My only hope is that when I stab him sixty times with a butter knife, his heart explodes with rainbows, and the ghosts of Yankees greats greet his arrival into heaven. TAYLOR For those of you who'd like to send your condolences to the Sault family after Krista brutally murders him, please log onto OAOAST.com for information. Say Krista, where is Alix at anyway? KRISTA Good question. It's about that point in time where she's supposed to start ruining my day. ALIX (off screen) My ears are burning, and not just because I dipped them in lighter fluid! Alix walks onto the scene, looking as though she just participated in a vigorous workout. Her hair is slightly frizzed, and small beads of sweat drip off her forehead. KRISTA And where have you been, and how many grams of illegal narcotics have been with you? ALIX Quick, Alix you gotta think of something. Make like a tampon and apply yourself! Uh, I was down at The Ford theater checking out Our American Cousin, with my homie John Wilkes Booth. And that dude Abe Lincoln, yo, that zz-top looking whiteboy be crazy as hell. We just wanna get our smoke on, our Hen on, our grind, our Nasir Jones, our itty bitty and kin, and he's busting his gun, screaming he's gonna bang on bitch ass Crips, talking about putting hands on our mark ass Crip to the C. We didn't have any choice but to send a round through his cerebellum. But if Ulysses S Grant asks, Booth told me were going to Dairy Queen. I'm not getting caught up on charges for none of ya'll. KRISTA Easy, Krista, remember your karma. Buddah don't like ugly. Or spousal abuse for that matter. ALIX (literally patting herself on the back) Alix, ya still got the magic touch! High five! Alix tries to give herself a high five, but misses and ends up hitting herself in the nose. ALIX Yeah that may have been kinda embarrassing, just a little. KRISTA Wait a moment. What's that smell? ALIX Ewww, Terry! Dude, I keep on asking you to change your friggin diaper before you interview us! KRISTA No, I'm used to Terry's rampant stench of urine and feces by now. This is something else. Are you wearing a new perfume? You smell like those self-loathing dykes at those Gay Californians for Bush meetings. All two of them. Am I going to have flush your voter registration card down the toilet like I did when you voted for Marey Carey for Governor? She wasn't even that hot! ALIX No, its just leftover from the woman I've been sleeping with behind your back for the last two months. The girls share a good laugh over Alix's comment. KRISTA Its a good thing, you're kidding otherwise I'd be well on my way to becoming the LGBT version of OJ Simpson. ALIX Hey, why are we talking about the famous murders of the mid nineties when we could be having sex in the shower? KRISTA Alix, Terry Taylor is standing right there! ALIX Oh! Well in that case, I was just going take a shower to get clean, so comeon Krissy and clean your dirty girl up! TAYLOR Um..uh..uh....uh....girls, with so many teams in the battle royal do you think the fans should be worried about your chances of retaining your title belts? ALIX Have you ever noticed that every time I'm about to hook up with my gorgeous fitness model girlfriend, you want to ask me about sweaty dudes fondling each other? Why is that? Look, Double T, I've been around long enough to know that, like, if you're mommy gives you twenty bucks to get the heck out the house when your uncle Joe comes over the trailer, then unless you like family reunions to be the most awkward and uncomfortable place on earth, then you should probably take that money and head to splitsville. Terry, I've also dropped enough acid in the past hour to think that the battle royal consists of the cast of Full House, and that John Lennon and Sly Stallone are playing backgammon on your head. But, anywho, there's like zero need to worry about us, Mr.T, because we're gonna win-win-win or my name isn't Jodie Foster! TAYLOR But, Alix, your name isn't Jodie Foster. ALIX But wouldn't it be hella rad if it was? She and I could hang out, go down to the lake and skip rocks, and in a fit of awkward, adolescent desire, engage me in some tender groping at tennis camp. KRISTA While Ally fantasizes about the Lifestyles of The Rich and Closeted, let the Blonde Tornado answer your question, Terry. The OAOAST marketing department, and all the announcers can act like the guys in battle royal are a threat to anything besides being congressionally investigated in a steroid ring , but when they rejoin the rest of us here on planet earth where up is up, left is left, and Terry Taylor isn't allowed within thirty feet of young boys, they can finally see that those chumps couldn't even hold our sports bra long enough to get aroused. The only thing we have to worry about is whether Ned will revisit his infamous ejaculating penis costume he so foolishly wore to his nephews kindergarten costume party four years ago, and if the dry cleaner will blab to the press when I ask her if she can fake semen out this costume. As for the rest of the lames in this little match, I suggest they check the weather report, there could be tornado coming through. WHOOOOSH!! The Blonde Tornado “flies” away from the scene, leaving Alix to finish up with Terry Taylor. ALIX If you think that tag line sucked, just imagine hearing it when she's on her third bottle of Tequila and the strapon is set to maximum vibrate. TAYLOR Oh, I will! I certainly will! Alix, thank you and your superhero girlfriend for joining me, once again. It's been one hell of an adventure and a tremendous pleasure interviewing you both these past couple of years. ALIX Uh, is there like a piano about to fall on me or something? I ain't dead yet, dude. I got a few more years before the cocaine overdose my psychic predicted. TAYLOR I just want to say thank you. ALIX Oh no! If you hug me, I'll so scream rape on you. No joke, dude. Ignoring that warning, Terry gives Alix a heartfelt hug. ALIX Rape! Rape! Ra-didly-dong-ape! While Alix awaits help, we go to break. COMMERCIAL COMING UP NEXT THE BOIZ ARE BACK IN TOWN (AGAIN) MARVIN AND MELVIN VS BLONDE AND FAQU NEXT

COMING UP NEXT Felix Strutter returns home. Or does he? NEXT Je t'adore, Je t'adore... Girls, Girls, Girls hits, as Felix Strutter makes his way into the pink strobe that engulfs the entryway, to the boos of the crowd. COLE Well, we heard from this man earlier tonight, and now we're going to see Felix Strutter in action! Let's go to the ring! BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Making his way to the ring...now residing in San Jose, California... *crowd boos* weighing in at 218 pounds..."AFTER HOURS" FFFFFFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXX XXXXXX SSSSSSSSSSSTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUTTERRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! COACH San Jose, huh? He's got good taste! COLE Expensive, too! COACH Yeah, but look at this guy, look at what he's accomplished, he can handle it! I mean, this guy's got to be the frontrunner right now for Most Improved Wrestler in the OAOAST! Strutter rolls into the ring and poses, taunting fans along the way, as they boo him. BUFFER His opponent...from Kansas City, Missouri, weighing in at 215 pounds...Gary Carpenter! *DING DING DING* COLE Gary Carpenter, the opposition for "After Hours" Felix Strutter here tonight! The two circle the ring and tie up, and Strutter grabs a side headlock. Carpenter shoves him off, and Strutter comes back with a shoulder check, taking Carpenter down to the mat. Strutter then goes to the ropes again, hops over Carpenter, then reverses Carpenter's attempted hiptoss to one of his own! COLE And a nice counter there by Felix Strutter! Strutter plays to the crowd, drawing boos, as Carpenter gets to his feet. The two tie up again, as this time it's Carpenter who grabs the side headlock. Strutter shoves him off, and drops down. Carpenter ducks an elbow, then goes for a flying bodypress, but Strutter drops down again, and Carpenter crashes into the mat! COACH More smart thinking from Felix! Strutter points to his head, indicating as such, as the crowd boos. He then picks up Carpenter, and drops him throat-first across the top rope. He then grabs him in another side headlock. He picks him up to his feet, then goes for a slam...but Carpenter slides behind the back, and executes a scoop slam! COACH Whoa! COLE And look at Gary Carpenter mount some offense here! Carpenter executes a second scoop slam, as the crowd starts to get behind him! He then whips Strutter into the ropes, and attempts a dropkick, but Strutter hooks the ropes, and Carpenter takes a bad spill again! COACH Don't get too excited, Cole! Felix isn't going to be thrown off his game that easy! Strutter picks up Carpenter in a corner, and stomps away, then brings him out and executes a DDT! He then picks up Carpenter, and underhooks him. COACH Here it is, Cole! Strutter lifts Carpenter, and brings him down with the THUNDER BAY THROTTLE~!!!!!11111 COLE Thunder Bay Throttle, put it in the book! 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* BUFFER The winner of the match..."AFTER HOURS" FFFFFFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXX XXXXXX SSSSSSSSSSSTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUTTERRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! COLE Felix Strutter ready for Sandman9000 in six days at the Halloween Spectacular, but we've still got more to come tonight, as he's promised a big surprise for the reigning Heartland champion! COMMERCIALS

zack/popick or x/maddix

COLE Welcome back to the program, ladies and gentlemen. What a situation we just had. In case you missed it, here’s what went down. MOMENTS AGO COLE Well, fans, during the break we were handed a note from Anglesault’s office and he has booked a 6-man tag for next week’s big Halloween Specactular between the Beverly Hills Blonds and CPA vs. The Love Doctors and a partner of their choice. Again… HALLOWEEN SPECACTULAR Beverly Hills Blonds & CPA vs. The Love Doctors & ? COLE What a match-up that should be. Now let's go to the ring for more action... Or not. Josh Matthews stands backstage with "After Hours" Felix Strutter. JOSH Felix Strutter, we found out last week that you have been granted a rematch for the OAOAST Heartland title against Sandman9000, and that match will take place in six days at OAOAST's Halloween Spectacular! Your thoughts? STRUTTER You know, Josh, people ask me every day, "Felix, you used to be such a nice guy, why did you become so "cocky""? Well, there's nothing wrong with being confident in your abilities...that's not being cocky. And do you know why I'm so confident in my abilities? Because I'm a WINNER. *crowd cheers* STRUTTER Do you know why I became a two-time Heartland champion? Because I'm a WINNER. *crowd cheers* STRUTTER And do you know why I left this LOSER country, Canada, and moved to Cali? Because I'm a WINNER. *crowd BOOS, as Josh looks on in shock.* STRUTTER And Sandman9000...you may be a scary dude to most people, you may have a threshhold for pain like no other man! But in just six days, I'm gonna come knocking on your door...and the treat I take back, will be my OAOAST Heartland championship. You know why? *Strutter looks at Josh, who starts to talk, before Strutter stops him and smiles.* STRUTTER Because I'm a winner. *crowd boos* STRUTTER But don't worry, I'm not going to let you go empty handed...I've got a BIG treat, a BIG surprise for you, right here later tonight. So just stick around. Strutter walks off, as Josh looks on. *Back to Sofa Central* COLE Well, Felix Strutter letting us know that he's relocated, apparently, and that he's also got a surprise for Sandman later tonight, what could that possibly be? COACH I don't know, but I'm anxious to see it! COLE Well, you and me both, but coming up... COMMERCIALS!

oops i fell asleep at my desk before making this thread or the feedback thread and its only like 11:40. that's some pussy shit. i know 4 yr olds with more gangsta then that.

Hey do any of you delightful young fellows remember who popick was repped in the graphics by? Jericho?

Our view returns to ringside *DING DING DING* (slow and dramatic) BUFFER LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen, this is the main event of OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Where tonight, a former SWF legend challenges one of the OAOAST's prominent stars, for the International Championship of the WORLD! ARE YOU READY? *crowd cheers BUFFER Columbus, Georgia...ARRRRRRRRRRRRE YYYYYYYYYOU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADY????? *crowd cheers louder* BUFFER Then for the thousands in attendance here in Columbus, and the millions watching around the world...there's only one thing left to say. Ladies and gentlemen...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRRRRREADY TO RRRRRRRRRRRRRRUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEE EEEEEEEE!!!!! The voice of Nate Dogg is heard shouting "Oh No" over the PA system, followed by pyro in the aisle and the cheers of the crowd, as "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez makes his way through the curtains, showered by the pyro that just exploded. COLE And here comes Todd Cortez, with a shot at Reject's International World title! BUFFER Coming to the ring at this time...weighing in at an even 226 pounds! Tonight, this SWF legend looks to strike gold in the OAOAST for the first time! Ladies and gentlemen, the challenger, from Hollywood Boulevard...He is THE URBAN LEGEND, TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODD COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!! Cortez walks to the ring with purpose, then slides under the ropes, before jumping to the second buckle and posing for the crowd, basking in their cheers. COACH And imagine if Cortez could win here tonight, and have a chance to walk out of November Reign with both World titles? COLE It could happen, as Todd Cortez challenges Landon Maddix, as do Tha Puerto Rican and Zack Malibu in a Fatal Four-way match at November Reign! Renegade hits, and Reject makes his way through the curtains, to the boos of the crowd. COLE But let's not overlook the champion! BUFFER And ladies and gentlemen, his opponent! Weighing in at 234 1/2 pounds...he is a two-time former X-Division champion, and the REIGNING and DEFENDING OAOAST International champion of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJECT!!!!! Reject walks to the ring, and climbs through the ropes. He poses on the buckles with the belt, then holds it up in the face of Cortez. COACH And Reject showing Todd what it's all about, right there! Reject hands the belt to referee Earl Hebner, and the bell sounds. *DING DING DING* Reject and Cortez circle the ring, and tie up. Cortez grabs a side headlock, and Reject backs him into the ropes, pushing him to the other side. Cortez comes back and knocks Reject to the mat with a shouldercheck, then runs to the ropes again. He hops over Reject, then blocks a hiptoss and delivers one of his own! Reject gets to his feet quickly, but is met with a dropkick which sends him over the top to the floor! COLE Todd Cortez off to a quick start, and Reject regrouping! Reject takes his time on the floor, coming back in at the referee's six-count. He moves in once again, and again Cortez grabs him in a side headlock. Reject shoves him off again, but Cortez ducks a spinkick and catches him with a flying bodypress! 1... 2... Kickout! Reject goes after Cortez, who immediately takes him down in a side headlock! COLE Quick action early on in this International World title match! Reject struggles to his feet, then backs Cortez into the ropes, and drives a knee into his midsection. He whips him into the ropes, but gets caught in a crucifix! 1... 2... Kickout! Cortez ducks a right hand and catches Reject with a rolling prawn hold! 1... 2... Kickout! And again, Cortez catches him in a side headlock! COACH And right back to that headlock, Cole! Reject gets to his feet and backs Cortez into a corner, placing a hand under his chin and pushing back until Cortez releases...then delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! He then sets up a suplex, but Cortez slips behind the back, then grabs Reject from behind and snaps him down with a neckbreaker! COLE Nice neckbreaker by Todd Cortez! Cortez tries to pick up Reject, but Reject lifts his feet up and kicks him off! Reject charges, but Cortez executes a drop toehold, leaving Reject laying across the middle rope! Cortez then backs into the ropes, and jumps onto Reject's back with all his weight! Reject staggers to his feet, and gets caught with a CROTCH DROPPAH~!, the momentum of which sends him right over the top rope to the floor! COLE And Reject all the way outside, as Cortez is on a roll! Reject lays on the floor in pain for a few seconds, then gets to his feet, and waves both his hands at the ring, starting the walk back to the dressing room! COLE And it looks like he's had enough! COACH Good for him, he gets to keep his belt! COLE But Todd Cortez is having none of it! Cortez chases Reject down and tosses him back inside! Reject begs off, crawling into the corner to protect himself, as the referee holds Cortez back. Reject composes himself, then the two tie up again. Cortez backs Reject into a corner, but refuses to break. The referee tries to wedge in between them, which allows Reject a cheap shot over the top! COLE WOW, what a right hand by Reject, taking advantage of the referee stepping in there! You may not like those ethics, but it was certainly effective! Reject stomps away on Cortez on the mat, then picks him up. He steadies him, then delivers a CHOP~!, which knocks him right back down to the mat! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! COACH DAYUM~! Reject taunts the fans, drawing boos, then drops a leg on Cortez, and covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Reject picks up Cortez, and delivers a right hand...which is returned by Cortez! COLE And now Cortez starting to fight back! Another right from Reject, another right returned! Cortez fires off a few more rights, then whips Reject across. Reject ducks a clothesline, then Cortez drops down, but gets caught with a SPINNING WHEEL KICK~! COACH Thatta baby! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Reject picks up Cortez, and delivers a snap suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Reject then tosses Cortez out to the floor. Reject stops to catch his breath for a few seconds, then hits Cortez with a PLANCHA~! COLE And Reject crashing down onto Todd Cortez! Reject fires off some right hands, then tosses Cortez back inside. Reject paintbrushes Cortez as he lays on the mat. COLE And Reject wasting time right here! COACH Naw, he's just havin' a little fun with him! COLE Todd Cortez is not a guy you want to get all riled up! Reject then picks up Cortez, and lifts him over his back, applying the Gory Special! COLE Submission move applied by Reject, the Gory Special, named for Gory Guerrero! The camera shoots in on Cortez's pained expression as he tells the referee he doesn't want to give it up. Cortez struggles for a bit, then gets a burst of adrenaline, and manages to free his arms, immediately flipping down and taking Reject over in a sunset flip! 1... 2... Kickout! Reject quickly gets a shot in to Cortez to stop his momentum. He then picks him up and whips him into the ropes, and Cortez tries a crucifix!...but Reject drops back to the mat, for a samoan drop! COLE Great counter by Reject, and a cover! 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! COACH Come on, ref! Reject gets to his feet, and gives Hebner shit for the alleged slow count, then backs Cortez into a corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Reject then brings Cortez out, and executes a FISHERMAN'S BUSTER~! 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up again! Reject gets to his feet once again and questions Hebner, this time shoving him back into the ropes! Hebner bounces off and shoves Reject right back! COACH Now look at this, this happened last week during the ten-man tag, too! Anglesault has got to address this! COLE Well, Reject touched him first! COACH You're supposed to disqualify him, then! He has no right to put his hands on the wrestlers! Reject raises his fist at Hebner, causing Hebner to fall to the mat. He hops right back up, and warns Reject of a DQ. Reject then picks up Cortez, but Cortez fires off a shot to the midsection! And another! And a third! COLE And look at Cortez fight back! COACH Sure, after Hebner let him catch his wind by attacking Reject! Cortez gets to his feet, and starts firing off kicks, then whips him into the ropes and catches him with a SITOUT SPINEBUSTER~! 1... 2... Kickout! Cortez then picks up Reject, and executes a russian legsweep, quickly followed by a legdrop! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! COLE And now it's Reject showing tremendous resolve! Cortez then picks Reject up, and delivers another CROTCH DROPPAH~! He then backs into the ropes, and catches Reject with the HOLLOW POINT~! Cover... 1... 2... NO!!! Reject gets a foot in the ropes! COLE SO close for Todd Cortez right there! The crowd starts to boo suddenly. COACH Hey, look who's here! The camera pans to catch Landon Maddix running to ringside! COLE It's the OAOAST World champion, Landon Maddix! What's he doing out here? Landon hops onto the apron, but the referee steps in his way. Cortez starts to pick up Reject, then spots Landon on the apron, and makes his way over. Reject then gets to his feet, and knees Cortez from behind, sending him into Hebner and Maddix, knocking Maddix off the apron and leaving Hebner lying on the apron unconscious. COLE And there goes Landon, but there goes Hebner, as well! Reject sets up Cortez, and executes the PITCH BLACK~!!!!!11111 Cover, but no referee! COACH And look at this, Reject once again a victim of injustice at the hands of this referee! COLE It's his own fault, he's the one who sent Cortez into the referee! Reject makes his way over to Hebner, and shoves him right out of the ring with his foot! COLE What was that for? COACH Good riddance! Reject then grabs his belt from the timekeeper, and slides into the ring. He waits for Cortez to get to his feet, then charges...but Cortez catches him, and delivers the URBAN ASSAULT~!!!!!11111 COLE Cortez with the Urban Assault! But there's still no referee! Cortez looks out and sees Hebner on the floor unconscious, then throws his arms in the air in frustration. He picks Reject up near the ropes, and sets up the RIOT ACT PLUS~!!!!!11111 COLE Cortez going for the big finish now! However, while all this was going on, Landon has revived Earl Hebner with a pitcher of water, and tossed him back inside. Hebner is still dazed, so Landon hops onto the apron and hits Cortez from behind with a BELTSHOT~!, then escapes through the crowd! COLE Landon with the belt into the back of Cortez! Reject then pops up, and hits the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 COACH Yeah! COLE And there's the Eulogy! Reject covers, as Hebner crawls over... 1... 2... 3!!! COLE DAMN IT~! *DING DING DING* BUFFER The winner of the match...and STILL OAOAST International champion of the WORLD...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJECT!!!!! COLE And thanks to Landon Maddix, Reject has retained his title! COACH What a defense by Reject! He overcame that obviously biased Earl Hebner, and stuck it right to him and Todd Cortez with the Eulogy! COLE Landon Maddix delivered the deciding blow with that beltshot! If Todd Cortez hits the Riot Act Plus on Reject, we've got a new International World champion! And then Landon running through the crowd like a thief in the night! But he won't be able to run from his three opponents at November Reign! Folks, we will see you next week! GOODNIGHT

THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD The rousing chorus of the theme song that will forever remain nameless joins with the gorgeously produced entrance video to welcome viewers around the world to sports entertainment's flagship program, OAOAST HeldDOWN! In case you missed it last week I present the description of entry way: Protruding from above and behind the Angletron is a thin video screen that circles all the way back towards the backstage area, and is highlighted by a neon white and black film strip pattern border. It rests atop a black ceiling that dances soft blue, purple and white spotlights across a slick black entrance floor, which is actually made up of numerous video screens. Beneath the ceiling are two walls that house two sets of video screens, each mirroring what's seen on the Angletron and each shrouded by the glow from roving purple lights. The entrance door sits at the base of the Angletron, leading to short set of long illuminated black stairs. At each side of the entrance set, are a pair of spiraling staircases, decorated by the trademark purple and blue spotlights, and both leading to scaffolding. Our announce team stands in front of the ring, recipients of the only light in an otherwise dimly lit arena. COLE Folks, welcome to the deep south of America, Columbus, Georgia! Tonight's HeldDOWN is more action packed then any previous edition! Coach, why don't you tell them what we have on tap on this Thursday evening? COACH I ain't your house nigga. This ain't no Fresh Prince, I ain't no Geoffrey and you damn sho ain't no fat Uncle Phil. COLE Very well then. Fans you can look forward to seeing Leon Rodez in action against the often times misunderstood Biff Atlas. Major implications in that match, as Biff recently took a terrible loss to Leon's good friend and former tag partner, Zack Malibu, and Leon makes his first appearance in the ring since he and D*LUX successfully defended their six man titles at Zero Hour. Also Stephen Pigley of The Love Doctors hooks up with Moracca, not in that way unfortunately, to battle long time rivals Logan Mann and Simon Singleton. It will be interesting to see how those two interact with one another given their history, and the fact that they're both managed by Nerdlys! And in our mainevent we'll have a very special international world title match, as Reject puts his championship up for grabs against The Urban Legend, Todd Cortez! And we'll hear from perennial world title contender, PRL as well. All this and more, when we come back. COMMERCIAL COMING UP NEXT How can we dance when our earth is turning? How do we sleep while our beds are burning? Leon Rodez Vs Biff Atlas NEXT HeldDOWN~! Returns BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute TV time-limit. In the ring, from Venice Beach, California! He weighs in tonight at two hundred and twenty pounds... he is BBIIIIIIFFFFFF AAAAAATTLLLLAAAAAASSSSSSS!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Biff poses briefly, before saying something over his shoulder to Buffer. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen at this time, Biff Atlas would like to make the following public service announcement. COLE Oh great... BIFF Thank you Bruce. Michael Buffer does a double take on his way out of the ring, shaking his head sadly as he sits down. BIFF At this time, I would like to take a moment to extend my congratulations to a close personal friend of mine. In the past week, vice-president turned cartoon voice-over actor turned environmental activist Al Gore was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, for his tireless contributions to the fight against climate change. It's heart-warming to see somebody finally recognise the efforts of a man who is making our world a better place. It's just a shame that not all such people are given that respect. With tha... .:CUE: Trust Company, "Rock The Casbah":. The crowd cease amusing themselves and suddenly come alive as the music powers through the PA system and LEON RODEZ steps through the entrance doors! Leon gives the camera a cheesy thumbs up as he walks to the ring, rubbing his eyes as he tries to recover from apparantly having just woken up. COACH See, this is exactly what Biff was trying to talk about. He's trying to get over an important message and he gets interrupted. No respect. COLE This is a wrestling show Coach, it's not a climate change convention. COACH It's not!? Well gee, that's news to me! Thank you so much for filling me in oh wise one! *groans* Rolling into the ring, the OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champion holds up a hand to try and placate Biff. Leon then calls for a microphone and asks for his music to be cut, Biff looking on a little confused at what's happening. LEON Now now now, I know you and I have ourselves a little wrasslin' match coming up... yes Biff, I hate to break it to you but this isn't a climate change convention, it's actually a professional wrestling show. COLE See! I told you! LEON But with that said, you're obviously just dying to launch into a little speech on the burning issue of the day there... see what I did there? That was mostly deliberate. Delicious punnage. Biff, you've obviously come prepared to speak your mind. You called Michael Buffer by his brother's name but that okay, that's not your speciality. That's not your line of knowledge. I'm sure Michael barely even realises he's here so long as the cheques cash. No, you're ready to talk about climate change and you need a forum to do that so whaddaya say we have ourselves a little impromptu LOVE SHACK! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" LEON Yeah! Alright! Let's cheer whatever Leon says! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" With Biff looking ever more confused, Leon asks for and is passed two chairs. COLE Wai... what the hell is going on here? We're gonna have a Love Shack, right now!? COACH I thought you said this was a wrestling show? Setting up the two chairs in the ring, Leon sits himself down in the first one and crosses his legs. Trying to look his most serious and journalistic, Leon invites Biff to sit down in the chair opposite him. And despite some misgivings, Biff eventually does so. LEON Okay, we haven't got a set and I'm pretty sure I used to have a funny pre-amble but I haven't done one of these in about a year so, uh, let's skip all that and get right down to business shall we? Climate change. A real political hot potato. Biff... catch. BIFF ... LEON Talk. BIFF Well, as I was going to say before you interrupted me, climate change is an issue the world cannot neglect again. The message must be re-iterated time and time again, never to be forgotten or considered a fad. No matter how many awards or acknowledgements visonaries like ourselves recieve, we should not be taken for granted, just as this planet should not be taken for granted. Scientists estimate that within the next 30-40 years, the world's global average tempera... Leon yawns, loud enough to be picked up by the microphone in his hand which is a little embarrassing. LEON Uh... Biff. Can I BUTT in there? Yeah, uh... that 30-40 years you were talking about? I was kinda hoping to get over to a bar with Maggie somewhere in and around that time period. So how about this, could you maybe for brevity's sake kinda sum up the issue of climate change in 10 words? BIFF You want me to condense the greatest threat to the fate of our humanity in centuries into a 10 word sentence? LEON If you could, yeah. A disbelieving Biff wipes a hand across his face. BIFF This is the exact kind of disrespect I'm talking about. Nobody is taking this issue seriously and I'm sick of it. It's evident, I need something to MAKE you people respect me. And since there are no Nobel Peace Prizes in the OAOAST, I am making it my goal as of this moment to go after the next best thing. Soon, all the OAOAST will respect me. They'll have no choice, once I, Biff Atlas, obtain the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! LEON As Leon struggles and fails to keep a straight face and starts to burst into laughter, he's joined by thousands of Georgians in the crowd. Which of course leaves Biff fuming. Kicking his chair aside, Biff suddenly swings down an arm and cracks the doubled over Leon across the back with a forearm! Leon goes sprawing to the canvas as quickly, referee Mike Chioda gets the chairs from the ring and calls for the bell. *DINGDINGDING!* COLE A cheapshot from Atlas and this one is finally underway! COACH How can you call that a cheapshot? Breaking down laughing at Biff's lifelong aspirations and dreams, that's a cheapshot! Biff continues to pound away on Leon who it's safe to say hasn't got much to laugh about anymore. Reaching down, Biff pulls off the black and purple robe of his opponent, throwing it to the ground in frustration. He then pulls Leon to his feet, barging him back into a corner and unloading with a succession of hard right hands. Referee Chioda tries to pull Biff away as he completely blanks his attempts to count him, eventually getting The Environmental Activist to stop his vicious attack. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Out of the corner, Biff whips Leon off in the direction of the opposite set of turnbuckles. The Silky Smooth One hits hard spine first, staggering out of that corner and into the waiting Gorilla Press of Biff Atlas... ...which he escapes from in mid-air. Creating some space with a quick shove, Rodez pops up and dropkicks Atlas in the back, sending him sprawling forwards. Biff falls throat-first across the middle rope and unfortunately for him, there he stays. The crowd erupt as Rodez sees his chance and starts to do THE JIG~! Rodez then hits the opposite ropes and sprints back at top speed directly at Biff, driving all of his body weight into the lower back!! COLE CALL THAT BITCH BOJANGLES!! Turning away, Leon hits the ropes again and this time comes at Biff from the side. But Biff spots Leon on his way around, managing to throw out his arm and LEVEL Leon with a giant Clothesline to cut him off! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Big shot from the supposed King Of The Clothesline. There's a moniker for ya. Sitting up, a shocked looking Leon gasps for air just as Biff drives the flat of his boot into his spine. And again, further knocking the wind out of his lungs. Biff stops for a second and draws a large, imaginary globe with his hands, to the jeers of the crowd. COACH Are these morons booing THE EARTH? Do they not realise we live... on THE EARTH? COLE They're booing Biff Atlas, Coach. COACH Because he loves The Earth? Explain. Please. No time for explanations, as Biff pins down Leon with a tight lateral press... 1... 2... No! ...again... 1... 2... No! Biff slaps on a chinlock, making Leon expend more energy. Which is pretty ironic when you think about it. And irony is best when explained. As Biff clamps down on the hold, a picture-in-picture suddenly pops in the top right corner of the screen, showing D*LUX, Jade Rodez and a certain Maggie Nerdly watching on backstage. COLE Leon with plenty of fans, both out here and backstage. He's fighting for them right about now as Biff Atlas works away with this hold. And as you see Maggie Nerdly there, it's as good a time as any to point it out, October 31st at The Halloween Spectacular, we've just found out Leon will be hosting a special edition of The Love Shack with none other than Melody Nerdly, in her first TV appearance since November Reign. COACH Let's not get ahead of ourselves Michael. He might not have much Love to Shack if Biff has his way here. Fighting to his feet, Leon starts to draw on the support of the Columbus crowd, fist pumping as the fans grow louder. Locking his hands, Leon jams the point of his elbow into the gut. And again. A third time, weaking up Biff's grip enough to turn into the hold. Having freed himself Leon then turns to hit the ropes... but a handful of his hair can't follow him, due to it being grabbed by Biff Atlas! Down on the back of his head crashes Rodez, earning Atlas a warning from the referee. COLE Biff Atlas, very resourseful. COACH LOLPUN11!!1 As Leon pulls himself back up, Biff stalks him just waiting to pounce. He grabs him in a tight waistlock and throws, bringing his 220 pounds down onto Leon's 220 pounds with a Side Belly To Belly Suplex! Leg hooked... 1... 2... Kickout! Pulling Leon to his feet, Mother Nature's Favourite Son applies another waistlock, this time trying to just squeeze the life out of The Silky Smooth One with a simple buf effective Bearhug. Leon wants very little of that though and manages to free an arm, driving the point of his Bionic Elbow down across the top of Biff's head! Twice! Three times! Biff loses the Bearhug and Leon just keeps on elbowin', bionic elbowing Biff into a stuppor before flippin', floppin', flyin'... and knocking down Biff with a final big elbow to the bonce! DUSTY RHODES Now baybeh, das en'ertainment right there, ain't no doubt about it! COLE ????? Running on a healthy dose of adrenaline, Leon encourages Biff back to his feet and meets him coming with a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels... *SMACK!* ...and nailing Atlas upside the head with the enziguri! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! Cover by Leon... 1... 2... NO! Not all! Quickly Leon scampers over to the corner and heads for the top turnbuckle. Biff is looking more than a little dazed and takes his time getting up, as Rodez scales the ropes and gets himself set up top. And then, with photo-opping form he soars from high above with a big Crossbody Blo... ...NO! Biff sidesteps, forcing Leon to adjust in mid-air. With cat like senses he just about manages to land safely on a hand and two feet, adjusting and diving at Biff again. But this time, his standing crossbody attempt ends with him getting caught! COACH Power! Throwing Rodez up and over his shoulder, Biff turns into the centre of the ring and drills him with a big Powerslam! The crowd groan as it looks like their man is in trouble, the Man Of The Earth reaching out and hooking a leg... 1... 2... No! COLE Kickout by Leon but you can sense Biff is beginning to build up some momentum here. Backing into a corner, Biff glares across at Leon... and drops into a crouch. COACH You can say that again. Biff starts waving Rodez to his feet, The Silky Smooth One unwittingly doing just as he's told. Biff is ready. Eyes locked on his target. Stalking his prey. Favouring his ribs a little, up to his feet climbs Leon with a grimace. He looks around and doesn't see Biff, who still stalks behind him, until Leon begins to turn around at which point he charges from the corner, head down... ...AL GOOOOOOOOORRRRRR... ...NO!! Rodez hears his opponent thundering towards him and takes off, leapfrogging Biff who ends up crashing face and shoulder first into the middle turnbuckle behind the now departed Leon!! "YYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" COLE Nobody home for the Nobel Peace Prize Winner Honouring "Al Goooorree"! And Biff is in trouble here. Stumbling to his feet, Biff walks right back past Leon who has stepped out in front of him. Hooking the head, Leon scales the turnbuckles on the inside and pushing up off the top turnbuckle, floating back and dropping Biff with the FEEDBACK THIS~! he slices some bread! Reaching up he hooks the legs and cradles Biff up in a tight ball for the... 1... 2... and 3!!! *DINGDINGDING!* "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... "SILKY SMOOTH" LLLEEEEEOOOOOONN... RRRROOOOOODDEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!! Leon rolls right on out of the ring and into the waiting arms of his fans as in the ring, Biff looks up and holds his head in his hands. A few high-fives and a few hugs get passed around, one lucky youngster getting a kiss on the cheek (not that young... and a girl... don't go getting the wrong impression here) as Rodez celebrates chalking one up in the 'W' column. COLE Victory here for the 6-Man Tag Team Champion, one-third at least, Leon Rodez tonight on HeldDOWN~! As Biff continues to look on in dejection, Leon takes back his belt and raises it to his fans with a big grin on his face. COLE Will Todd Cortez be as successful against Reject? We'll see in our mainevent! Stay tuned for more! COMMERCIAL

We're taken backstage where Anglesault is reviewing some scouting reports from OAOVW, during the few moments of peace he can find on a live television broadcast. That is is until, his solitude is interrupted by the always cute, always annoying Molly Nerdly, wearing a blue Ralph Lauren polo shirt, khaki pants and toting the trusty Siclopse. Ignoring Sault's surprise at her arrival, Molly looks around the room in curious distress. MOLLY Oh no. Oh no, no, no. Oh no. Not at all. This lighting scheme simply will not do! Christopher! Christopher! Christopher Patrick Allen! Christopher Patrick Allen! Come, come! CPA lazily saunters into the room, eating a Philly Cheesesteak, which he happens to drip all over Anglesault's scouting reports. CPA Yeah? MOLLY The lighting scheme is all wrong for filming! All wrong! It must be changed, Christopher Patrick Allen! Oh, how it simply must be changed! Christopher Patrick Allen, you must do something. Oh, you simply must! CPA That's not my job, little woman. MOLLY Does this look like a union to you? Hop to it, production assistant! While CPA aimlessly fiddles with a light bulb, Molly picks up a stick (stalk, piece, i dunno) of corn from Anglesault's personal buffet table and eyes it with curiosity. MOLLY (philosophically) Ah, maze. We call it corn. ANGLESAULT What do you people want?! MOLLY (stunned) You're here! Thank the goodness gracious you're here! How simply marvelous the fortunes are now that you're here! ANGLESAULT Well, it is my office. MOLLY Yes, yes, of course. Now here's the script for this scene. It's your basic crime noir, hardened detective meets sly minx, you've seen it a billion times. Nothing for a pro like you! No need to reharse, let's simply get to filming. Molly throws Anglesault a two hundred page script. ANGLESAULT (reading) She tore into my office like an outta control tornado through a midwestern trailer park. One look at her heaving bosom and I wanted to tear into that polo shirt of her's like an out control tornado through a Midwestern trailer park. The things I'd do to her young barely legal body if she weren't an employee, the things I'd do to her if she was an employee, the things I'd do to her if I wasn't so...impotent! I'm not reading this, Molly. MOLLY You just did. But if you refuse to cooperate with the script, maybe you wouldn't mind telling the camera about your dirty, little secret. ANGLESAULT I don't have any secrets, Molly. MOLLY No? Well, what about your addiction to phone sex hotlines? ANGLESAULT What?! I don't have an addiction to phone sex hotlines. MOLLY Really? Well, your phonebill says you've been spending quite a pretty penny on 1-900-stroke-me-up. And I don't think that's a heart attack prevention hotline. Now, before we continue this Emmy winning expose I have to ask would you like to be referred to as mister, or the term more fitting for what you were born as...miss? ANGLESAULT Get out. MOLLY And shall I call you jack or ass? ANGLESAULT GET OUT! MOLLY Get out? You hear that Christopher Patrick Allen? Get out says the fool! Begone says the simpleton! Remove yourself says the man who proudly bears the cap of the dunce! CPA Disgraceful. MOLLY Query: Are those the type of words you want to give to the woman that's come to save your job? ANGLESAULT I was unaware that my job needed saving. MOLLY Observation: And that's exactly why you're on the chopping block, and I'm on the..thing...that...isn't...the chopping but is actually...the...yeah, you get my point. Accusation: Your lack of ability to anticipate oncoming trends, much the same way Italian director Antonioni failed to anticipate post-70's era cinematic trends, is what's doomed your employment to extinction. CPA suddenly throws a rock at Anglesault, hitting him in the head, and knocking him out of his chair. MOLLY Laughter: Hahaahah! ANGLESAULT You threw a rock at my head! MOLLY Statement: If you were able to anticipate trends, you would've anticipated Christopher Patrick Allen throwing a rock at your head, ducked and avoided the six to eight stitches you'll be needing. ANGLESAULT You threw a rock at my head! MOLLY Correction: Actually it was Horneblende, and that's a mineral not a rock. I should know, I'm in graduate school. ANGLESAULT You threw a rock at my head! MOLLY Evasion of responsibility: Good heavens, this whole blame game thing is just bogging down the killer chemistry we've got going on in this scene. You're gonna yell at me, I'm gonna yell at you, and it's simply a terribly terrible situation. Just terrible! Who really knows who threw the rock at who? ANGLESAULT I know! I know! I know because I'm lying on the floor, bleeding profusely from my fucking forehead, and there's a rock covered in my blood lying next to me because you threw a god damned rock at my head! Get the fuck out of my office! MOLLY Comedic quip: Someone run the antivirus, because we've got a major malfunction in sector Anglesault. Change of subject: Aren't you dying to know my wonderfully wonderful plan that'll save your stupid little job? ANGLESAULT Does it involve you quitting and moving to war torn African country? MOLLY Offended response: No it most certainly does not, you greasy haired pig! ANGLESAULT Quit talking like that! MOLLY Query: Like what, good sir? ANGLESAULT Like that! Get out! Get out! MOLLY You may regret saying that when 1-900-stroke-me-up declines your AMEX. ANGLESAULT (returning to his desk) Fine! But be quick, Molly. Molly smiles at her “ability” to convince AS to hear her out. MOLLY Anglesault since you grabbed the reigns of HeldDOWN, this company has turned into an “atmosphere of filth and stench, and contaminating everything which it come near” Quote Mister Moneymaker, about two minutes before I walked in here. “Daddy, make the bad man stop!” the children scream when HeldDOWN finishes behind a Fairly Odd Parents rerun in the ratings! “Lord save our sinful souls!” the pastor yells when its announced buyrates for Angleslam were at all time low! “Jesus come and give strength for your humble servants are weak and afraid!” a nation bellows as newspapers report the company has lost half a million dollars this month. ANGLESAULT Where are you even getting your facts and figures? MOLLY Nowhere. I just make 'em up. Easier that way. But you can't argue that America would rather wrap Magic Johnson in barbed wire and do him 69 style then ever watch another episode of HeldDOWN thanks to you efforts. And there's simply no more awfully awful example of your failings then last week when you approved a Run For The Gold match for the One and Only World tag team titles and neglected to include the foundation stones of the OAOAST, the only thing saving this company from your horrendous, horrendous, horrendous judgment, my team, The perfectly perfect Beverly Hills Blonds. ANGLESAULT And what have the Blonds done to deserve any type of title match besides lose the six man titles after going nearly three months without defending them, then lose the rematch while managing to expose Ned's bare ass to the world? MOLLY Most downloaded video on the torrent scene, I kid you not. What have the Blondes done you ask? Oh, Anglesault, your mind is as empty as your breath is foul! Well what has Marlon Brando done? What has Sergei Eisenstien done? What has Buster Keaton done? Nothing! They're all dead! But your snide unappreciative tone mimics that which was used to belittle these cinematic idols! And now that they're gone, mouth breathing clown shoes line up from near and far to pay respects to their legends! All I'm trying to say is that we ought to give our cinematic icons, in this case Simon and Ned, their roses while they can still smell them. Instead of asking what have they done to deserve a title match try remembering who was the first team to hit three tag title reigns, and who was the first and to this date only team to hold both HI-YAH and OAOAST tag gold. And once your memory starts working again, feel free to sign this contract putting them in the Run For The Gold. Grinning, Molly slides a thick contract across the table. ANGLESUALT Alright, fine. I'll put the Blonds into the match, Miss Molly. If they can't get down the basic wrestling staples of pinning or submitting their opponents, then maybe they'll be able to throw their enemies into the Haunted House's bottomless pit, or something. As Anglesault puts his John Hancock to paper, Molly and CPA kick up a round of mischievous giggling. Well, Molly giggles, CPA is much too many to giggle! ANGLESAULT What's funny? MOLLY Nothing, truthfully. Just for someone who's vocabulary is nothing but cliches, I'd think you would've realized to always read the fine print. Confused, HeldDOWN's fearless leader pours over the wording of the contract, stopping when he gets to this point... ANGLESAULT (reading) I, director of HeldDOWN, hereto, and without prejudice to any other rights, expressly and irrevocably consent towards the elimination of the Halloween Spectacular Run For The Gold. In its place the consenting party(ies) agree to comply with the scheduled replacement match a...(Anglesault pauses in annoyance), costume party battle royal! MOLLY (to CPA) Heheehe. I believe high-fives are in order, my amigo! CPA high fives Molly. MOLLY How painful! How simply painful! What do you have in your hands, man? Russia? ANGLESAULT Molly, I bet you expect me to be mad. Throw a little hissy fit? Maybe, yell, scream, curse, blow this place up with a few choice f-bombs? Pick up every object on my desk and hurl it halfway to Tokyo in a bloody rage because you just tricked me into ruining a guaranteed money making match for no real explainable reason. But, I won't do that Molly. In fact, I quite like this costume party battle royale. MOLLY I knew there was something I liked about you besides the fact that your obvious lack of wit and comedic timing means I can insult you without fear of retribution. ANGLESAULT The problem is.....Well, the problem as I see it, is that you can't have a battle royal with just four teams. Its simply, as you would put, not done. Good golly Miss Molly, we need more teams for this thing! If its worth doing, its worth doing great, is it not? We have to make this match excellently excellent! MOLLY Um, I don't know.... ANGLESAULT And don't you trouble your kindly kind heart, young lady, because I know I've done such a piss poor job of managing this ragtag outfit to near bankruptcy, but I truly want to make this battle royal my opportunity to make up for the many errors I've committed over the years. MOLLY Perhaps a Christmas fruitcake, instead. Or a twenty five dollar giftcard to Radioshack for Chanukah? ANGLESAULT No, I have something better in mind. What do you say we throw Los Diablos into the battle royal? MOLLY ANGLESAULT And maybe The Love Doctors? MOLLY ANGLESAULT How about The South Central Militia? MOLLY ANGLESAULT You know, its been a long time since Halloween rock n rolled, let's get The Heavenly Rockers in there! MOLLY ANGLESUALT James Blonde and Faqu have been ringing my phone off the hook for an opportunity to get some action, so let's throw them in there. MOLLY ANGLESAULT Yuck! CPA Damn, girl, what's really good? MOLLY I just don't like Samoans is all. ANGLESUALT And I got two more guys you're probably very, very, very familiar with, they're going by the name The Christ Air Express these days, but you probably know them better as Marvin and Melvin Nerdly! MOLLY ANGLESAULT Yeah, I thought you'd say that. Now, run along while I think up so more teams to throw in there. Have a great day, Molly. Not exactly thrilled with the result of her meddling, Molly gathers the Siclopse and CPA and departs the office.

Go to OAOASTShop.com to buy the latest in OAOAST merchandise! Toys! Belts! T-shirts! Foam hands! Bandanas! Chains! Wrist bands! And anything else your heart desires! You can find what the OAOAST superstars wear at only one place, OAOASTShop.com! AOL keyword: OAOASTShop! NOW GET A LIMITED EDITION OAOAST TRADING CARD FREE WITH EVERY PURCHASE ABOVE THIRTY FIVE DOLLARS These hot, edgy, specially designed cards give you a sleek look at your favorite OAOAST Superstars Only available at OAOASTShop.com COLE Well, earlier tonight, we found out that at the Halloween Spectacular on Halloween night, Stephen Joseph Popick will take on Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title. This, despite the fact that Maddix already has a World Title Match set for November Reign on November 25th against Zack Malibu, "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican, and "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez in a Fatal Four-Way Match. Now, we heard from Popick earlier, and he sounds confident that the Title Match on the 31st will go his way. But what about his client and friend, Tha Puerto Rican? How does he feel about Popick getting a Title shot before he does? Well, luckily, we are about to find out, as live via satelite from the OAOAST Studios in Pittsburgh, Pennslyvania is Tha Puerto Rican! We're going to go to him now. Cut to "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican standing in front of a black screen. The crowd boos loudly. A lamp stands next to PR on his left, and a ladder stands next to him on his right. PRL is wearing a Puerto Rican flag bandana, sunglasses, an earring on his left ear, a white dress shirt, a red tie, a black sports jacket, black dress pants, black dress shoes, a $500 Rolex watch on his right wrist, and his engagement ring on his right ring finger. He has the McMahon SNEER~! etched on his face. A caption appears on screen reading in big white blocky letters LIVE OAOAST STUDIOS PITTSBURGH, PENNSLYVANIA. COLE P.R., thanks for joining us tonight. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN Believe me, the pleasure is all yours. COLE Now, P.R., earlier tonight, it was announced that Landon Maddix will defend the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship against your manager and "Career Consultant" Stephen Joseph Popick, on October 31st at the Halloween Spectacular. Now, how do you feel about your friend and colleague getting a World Title shot one month before you do? THA PUERTO RICAN As soon as Popick finishes laying the smackdown on Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix's candy ass, he'll throw him to me, Tha Puerto Rican, so that I can finish him off at November Reign! And that's what this is all about! THAT is what we should be focusing on. November Reign. November 25th. Six weeks away! The countdown is on! The seconds tick away more and more! And what an appropriate name for the pay-per-view. November Reign. Because on November 25th, the REIGN OF THA PUERTO RICAN WILL BEGIN! The crowd boos loudly. COLE P.R., you have quite the challenge ahead of you. Last month, you competed in a Ladder Match against two of the biggest OAOAST Superstars in the world today and came within inches of garnering the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt for the first time in your career. Now, next month, you've got to contend with those same two men, in addition to a returning "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez! It's one fall to a finish. The first man to get the pinfall or submission is the World Heavyweight Champion! Does the pressure affect you at all? With this being your third consectutive pay-per-view Title shot? THA PUERTO RICAN AngleSault could throw me three men, four men, five men, six men, seven men, ten men, twenty men, two thousand men! IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW MANY PEOPLE I'VE GOT TO FIGHT! What matters, Michael Cole, is that the match ends one way. AND THA PUERTO RICAN MEANS ONE WAY! And that is with Tha Puerto Rican raising the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt high up in the air in Las Vegas, Nevada! The crowd boos again. Possibly for the reference to Las Vegas, Nevada. COACH P.R., Da Coach here! PRL Sup, Coach? COACH P.R., I'm sure you're going to walk out of November Reign OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. I mean, you'd have to, right? But what about Popick? What about your friend Popick going head-to-head against Landon Maddix four weeks before you do? Doesn't that bother you at all? PRL Coach, I know what you're trying to do, and no, it's not going to work! Popick and I have our agreement. He's going to soften Landon Maddix up for me for November Reign. That's all. Popick's doing this match for ME! Not for him. For ME! COLE Sure didn't sound like he was doing it for you earlier. PRL Michael Cole, know your role and SHUT your damn mouth! There is nothing wrong between us! Popick knows his role come the 31st, and that is for Landon Maddix, that donkey raping shiteater, to receive a CORPORATE ass-kicking courtesy of the Most Hated Man In The OAOAST, a title he wears with HONOR, by the way! That's all there is to it! COLE Well...okay...then. PRL Right. COLE Well, P.R., do you have any final thoughts before we end this interview? PR Yes, I certainly do! Landon Maddix, get ready, because your candy ass is next! After my man, Popick gets done laying the smackdown on you, it'll be my turn! And Landon, I am GREATLY looking forward to it! Since June you have been a thorn in my side, and finally, FINALLY at November Reign, I shall take that thorn out...shine it up real nice...turn that sumbitch sideways, and STICK IT STRAIGHT UP YOUR CANDY ASS! And if those two other jabronies want some, they can come get some too! Zack Malibu, I am NOT done with you, yet! And I am looking forward to us meeting in the ring yet again! And as for "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez? Well, I don't know much about you, but I DO know that I don't give a DAMN about you either! So, you're on my hitlist just as much as Landon and Zack are! You stand between me and the World Heavyweight Title I so richly deserved, and for that, I will come at you like a charging bull come November 25th! And there's nothing ANY of you can do about it! And that's the truth, Ruth! And afterwards, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and I will truly be the GOLDEN COUPLE of the OAOAST! TO HELL with our big extravangant wedding we have planned! Me and Lindsay might as well just get married right there on the Las Vegas strip after the pay-per-view! I'm sure she'll like that! COLE Uh... PRL Shut up, Michael Cole! Just remember, that November Reign will become Tha Puerto Rican's pay-per-view, because at November Reign, "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican will FINALLY ascend to the top of the One And Only AngleSault Thread and become its new CORPORATE World Heavyweight CHAMPION! THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~! Girlpants! PRL does the Corporate Eyebrow, and then sneers into the camera. The crowd boos loudly, although there are some noticeable cheers for Tha Puerto Rican here and there. A small "P.R. SUCKS!" chant starts up, regardless. COLE P.R., thank you for the interview. PRL (Calm and friendly) Sure, anytime. (Cut to Sofa Central with Double C.) COLE Well, not surprisingly, PRL wasn't at a lost for words in regards to AngleSault's announcement earlier. Still, he didn't seem to be too bothered about the main event of Halloween Spectacular, instead focusing his attention on his upcoming World Title Match at November Reign. COACH And why shouldn't he be? THAT'S the match HE'S in after all! COLE Still, his manager and "Career Consultant" is fighting for the World Title! COACH And whatever happens, happens. Look, PRL's got six weeks to prepare for November Reign. This will be his third straight Title shot. He's lost twice, he's NOT going to lose again! COLE We've said that so many times though. Will it ever really happened? COACH It will! At November Reign, it will! I can feel it! COLE Well, PRL's got a big task ahead of him on November 25th, but on October 31st, his manager's got a big task ahead of *HIM*! The next two months or so will be quite a busy time for both Tha Puerto Rican AND Stephen Joseph Popick! More HeldDOWN~! right after this! * COMMERCIAL BREAK *

OAOAST HeldDOWN is brought to you By... Rhapsody.com-Hear J-Lo's New Album Brave at Rhapsody.com Tomtom-Go Confidently Advil-Shouldn't you be all Advil? COLE Welcome back to ringside, folks! Last week, we saw the backstage debut of OAOVW youngster, Camden Westcott, who attempted to land a full time OAOAST roster spot through Anglesault. While, Sault couldn't promise him that, he did promise to help fulfill his dying father's last wish to be able to see Camden participate in an OAOAST match. Well, that match is about to take place right this very instant, though we don't know who its against. Let's go to Bruce Buffer. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following singles contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of ten minutes, already in the ring from Maui, Hawaii, weighing in at one hundred seventy five pounds, CAMDEN WESTCOTT! The camera shifts to Westcott, his lean frame tucked into white bicycle shorts, a sea shell necklace dangling around his chest, and a red headband undercutting unruly layered strands of brown hair. Camden salutes the crowd, who aren't exactly overjoyed at the prospects of watching him wrestle. COLE The question now is, who is Camden's opponent for this match? Who has Anglesault handpicked to face the newcomer? "LIGHTNING CREW!" COACH Yes! Yes! As bothered by that familiar voice as the capacity crowd is, they certainly can't match the dread presented by the profusely sweating face of one Camden Westcott. He tries to tremble his suddenly frayed nerves by assuring himself he'll be fighting Princess Stacey, and not one of the many other detestable heathens that make up this much maligned organization. COACH Who could it be? Which one will get the pleasure of squashing Camden Westcott?! The opening of “No Chance In Hell” blasts into the small southern arena, accompanied by an image of Cuban Wall that beams off the entryway's many videoscreens. The foreboding shot of Wall posed in front of his country's flag, with his named emblazoned in bold blocky letters, brings boos to the venue, and chills to Westcott's spine. Strobe lights dance across the slick black flooring of the entrance stage, crisscrossing the doorway that parts to reveal Cuban Wall, clad in long blue tights, a dirt ridden white Lightening Crew t-shirt, worn out fingerless gloves, and a dingy Cuban flag bandanna on top of his head. COACH Aw man, Camden is screwed now! The greatest 24/7 champion of our era! COLE Mackenzie DeCenzo would like to debate that point! Wall's piercing grey eyes tear through the wrathful audience, as his hands join the roving lights that roll through the skies. He then solemnly treks down the entry ramp, while Westcott makes his peace with the lord. BUFFER And his opponent. From Havana, Cuba. Weighing in at 285 lbs....HE IS THE CUBAN WAAALLLLLLLLLL! COLE Folks when we return, it will be Camden Westcott against The Cuban Wall. Stay tuned! COMMERCIAL HeldDOWN returns COLE Ladies and gentlemen, you've rejoined us just in time to hear the opening bell! DING DING DING Camden Westcott tries to gather what little confidence he has left, as the intimidating beast lumbers above him. But those specks of confidence are replaced by heaping of fear when a basektball sized fist comes speeding towards his face. Screaming in panic, he ducks bellow the incoming strike, then charges towards the ropes. Though he's of a half a mind to slide beneath the bottom one and head for the heels, the OAOVW youngster comes scorching back at Wall with a lariat. Though his arm slams perfectly into the expansive chest of his foe, no visible damage is done to the enormous Cuban. In fact the only reason you'd know he was even hit with a strike is due to the look of dismissive annoyance he flashes before cutting Camden down with a big boot! Westcott crumbles to the mat, hollering in raw agony, while a replay of the thunderous attack is shown on the video screens. After taking a moment to admire his handiwork, Wall places his boot on Westcott's chest for a pin.... ONE TWO Westcott kicks out, drawing a frown onto the former 24/7 champion's face. He grabs the Hawaii native by his moppy surfer cut, then throws him into the corner. The sheer power he was propelled with causes Camden's grousing body to awkwardly teeter forward, and look for a place to fall over and pass out. Unfortunately, he falls right into a powerslam by Wall! As the fans pepper Wall with jeers, referee Silverman counts the resulting fall.. ONE! TWO! Logic would dictate that staying down for an extra second would be the healthier choice. But, Camden obviously isn't a logical man, and he rips his shoulder off canvas. His entire body quickly follows suit, thanks to the rough grip of his foe. He's snared into a front facelock, then brought into the sky for a vertical suplex. But Wall delays the move to showcase his raw power to an angered crowd, before dipping backwards with his suplex. But as he dips backwards, Westcott escapes his clutches, and falls into him with a lateral press! COLE Thata boy, Camden! Just as soon as the pairing hit the canvas, Wall throws the much smaller man off his frame and springs to his feet. Rage steams out of every pore in his body, as he spins into a discus punch. However, Westcott meets his twisting and twirling body with a gorgeous dropkick! The attack is as deadly as it is beautiful, and succeeds in awkwardly toppling the Havana native through the black ring cables! Fortunately, Wall's cumbersome figure manages to land on the ring apron, but that's a small victory in the face of his throbbing headache. “COME ON, COLUMBUS, GEORGIA!” Camden howls, earning a small round of cheers in response. Westcott charges towards Wall, foolishly intending on knocking him from the apron with a kneestrike. The price paid for this folly is a swift punch to the jaw that sends him hurtling backwards. COACH Cuban Wall eats pieces of shit bigger then Camden Westcott for breakfast! COLE [billy madison]cuban wall eats pieces of shit for breakfast?[/billy madison] COACH Why not? You eat Josh Matthews for breakfast. Despite the considerable pain he's under, Westcott pulls his weary body off the canvas with surprising quickness. Unfortunately, the moment he stands, he's victimized by a diving top rope lariat from the two hundred eighty five pound beast! He sinks backwards, hollering in pain, his chest feeling as though its just been hit by a monster truck. COACH Nurses, you gotta check on Cam's daddy! I bet that dude just went into cardiac arrest. COLE Poor taste, Coach! A cardiac arrest would be only slightly more painful then the procession of stomps Wall rips into his rival's chest. Once he grows bored of the stomping, he pulls Westcott off the canvas, and throws him into the ropes. Drawing on a simple urge to survive, the rookie flings his body towards Wall's thick legs. He tightens his arm around the brawler's knee, then rolls him backwards into a makeshift pin! ONE COLE Could we have an upset here on HeldDOWN? TWO Much to Camden's chagrin and dismay, the burly competitor tears his frame off the canvas. Before Westcott can even get to his feet, the six feet seven inches of Cuban Wall are already towering above him. Before Westcott can even prepare a proper defense his thin physique is being hauled onto Wall's shoulders. COLE Camden Westcott may be be broken in half if the Cuban Wall can pull the Wallbreaker off! COACH Forget that! Camden Westcott may die if my main man Wall can pull it off! Within seconds, Camden's body is shattered into pieces on the ring apron by The Wallbreaker. What remains of his battered husk, can only watch in horror as Wall takes to the ropes, and returns to crush what's left of him with the Lightning Crew Splash. As the fans boo the appearance of the infamous finisher, the referee counts the resulting pinfall... ONE! TWO! THREE! Wall sees no need to wait for the official announcement from Buffer before he begins celebrating. Instead he leaves Camden's withering figure behind, and scales to the top rope, where he holds his arms up in fearsome triumph in the face of less then appreciative audience. COLE And mercifully it is over. Camden Westcott's road to the OAOAST doesn't go through Cuban Wall. It ends at Cuban Wall. Perhaps the worst possible opponent you can face on your debut, and Camden Westcott certainly found out why. What a drubbing! BUFFER The winner of the match, THE CUBAN WALL! "BOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE The person you have to really feel bad for in all this is Mister Westcott, Camden's father, clinging onto hope that his son... COACH Are you still clinging onto that BS story Camden made up to leapfrog everyone on the OAOVW roster? Damn, son, how can someone so stupid be allowed to talk so freely and openly to so many people. Why we doing this? Is this company one of them Places For People where they send all the retard people to work? Why you speaking so dumb? Homeboy, ain't go no sick father, you can believe that. He's the Eddie Haskel of the OAOVW game, nothing he says can ever be trusted. Anglesault just had Cuban Wall teach him a lesson. COLE Well, tonight the bottom line is Cuban Wall has another W on his record. We'll be back with more. COMMERCIAL

(I'm tired of typing HeldDOWN returns already!) COLE Well, ladies and gentlemen, the first set of tickets for Anglemania VII went on sale this past Saturday morning at the Los Angeles coliseum. Not surprisingly they were gobbled up within minutes. There to kick off the ticket selling ceremonies were Los Angeles' own and OAOAST tag team champions, Chicks Over Dicks. Let's take a look... We're taken to a quick introductory video in which thousands of fans have packed the surrounding area of the historic sports monument to take their chance at capturing Anglemania tickets. Each fan is bursting with excitement, pointing and smiling into the cameras as they zoom by their position. Live music from pop-rock sisters Tegan and Sara entertain the many OAOAST faithful who dance to their catchy sounds. Finally we settle on the girls standing atop a stage, both dressed down in black workout pants, white tank tops, ponytails, and sunglasses. Holding microphones, they stand next to a paunchy, balding middle aged man with an unkempt beard, and wrinkled, coffee stained white polo shirt, and dirt ridden kahki pants. Next to him is a skinny teenage girl sporting the classic “deer caught in headlights” look. ALIX Hola, humanoids! Standing next to us is Cheter Grohl! AKA the lucky dude who nabbed the very first Anglemania tickets! That's crazy rad! Super congrats to you! How long have you been here, dude? CHESTER Since Monday morning! KRISTA Great! Who needs to be a productive member of society, earn a living, support your family or...(Krista sniffs the air) bathe for that matter! CHESTER Not me! ALIX (pointing to the girl) Sooooooooo is this your daughter? CHESTER No, this is my girlfriend! ALIX Oh really? Hey, its bitching to see the art of date rape is still alive and kicking! Rock on Chester the molester! Like, how old is she, babe? CHESTER Fifteen! KRISTA (imitating Chester's voice) Man, are those police sirens I hear? Did I just fuck up right now? I really shouldn't have told a viewership of millions I'm dating a fifteen year old. Where did all those cops come from? I don't remember seeing an FBI van when I pulled into the parking lot. My BUTT itches. Who are those guys with the guns? Maybe I should say something nice about the OAOAST and escape to Mexico. Or maybe I should say something about how I support the troops, yeah that'll work. Maybe I should blame it all on hip-hop and unruly Negroids like Chad Johnson and Nas? Yeah, works for Bill O'Reily. Cut to a closeup of Krista standing in front of the production truck. KRISTA Yeah, I think it'll be great to perform in front of my friends and family. I mean, Alix and I grew up in LA, this our home, so it'll be pretty fun. And my family is here and they're all ecstatic that I've been wasting my two master degrees by wrestling functionally autistic highschool dropouts in the skimpiest outfits known to womankind. And can I get something to drink here? Its nine o'clock in the morning and I haven't had a single shot of tequila! COLE (V.O) The girls also got a chance to get up close and personal with their fellow Los Angelionios. Cut to a teenage boy talking to the girls as they sit behind the autograph table. BOY Um, do you have any advice on coming out the closet to your parents? ALIX If you're gonna be gay and out, you might as well get some entertainment out the situation, so, like, do it on a holiday. Krista did! KRISTA Yeah, my mom calls it the Hanukkah Krista ruined. Or the eight days when I found out my ungrateful eldest daughter wished me a lifetime of pain and suffering. But, now she sort of uses it as this cute little dating system to remember all our family events. I'll go, hey mom what year did Lydia, that's my sister, study in Paris? Well let's see the eight days when I found out my ungrateful eldest daughter wished me a lifetime of pain and suffering was in 2001, so if I carry the two and subtract the exponent, factor in leap year and your sister went to study in Paris in about 1994. Thanks mom. Cut to Krista standing in front of an OAOAST Banner outside the venue KRISTA I heard Mayor Villanowhateverthehellhisname is, I didn't vote for him, was here. Interesting, maybe he should spend a little less time in cheesy wrestling events, and nailing telemundo weather reporters, and a little more time figuring out why my taxes have gone up every year for traffic improvements when I still spend two hours a day trapped in the asphalt hell that is interstate 5 on the edge of a nervous breakdown because I left the diet pills I'm addicted to at home. Cut to a woman in a GLAAD t-shirt nervously approaching the girls. WOMAN Uh, hi, how do you gals keep the uh...intimacy flowing in your relationship? Its..um..uh...such a problem for me and my partner. ALIX Like, I prefer to think of sex as this like hella superior form of mediation where our bodies reach a higher form of spiritual essence, and every orgasm is like a gentle flower laid at welcome mat to enlightenment. Her every moan of ecstasy is like such a prelude in the symphony of life! KRISTA Most times she just ambushes me in the kitchen, which is not so great because we have granite countertops and they're the hardest to clean! Or we'll do it real quick before the PTA meeting. The coat check room at my mother's country club is also starting to grow on me. Just because you get to wear all the goofy old lady hats, and speak fancy. ALIX But, herbal essence does not make a shampoo that gets old lady stink out your hair. Remember that! Cut to Krista and Alix standing in front of the production truck, talking to the viewer at home. ALIX Like, thank you so much for joining us at our home. We're totally looking forward to seeing you here again for Anglemania! KRISTA Unless, of course the company starts going under. In which case, I don't care, I got a guaranteed contract no matter what. Fuck you, pay me. Alix gives Krista a playful embrace as we fade out... Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, host to the Olympics, the Super Bowl, the World Series and for a short time the site of WrestleMania. But on Sunday night, March 30, 2008, it will be host to the biggest spectacle in all of e-fed entertainment when the One & Only AngleSault Thread presents... ANGLEMANIA VII An event so big not even the threat of terrorism can stop it! The camera cuts to the HeldDOWN~! Interview Set where Josh Matthews is standing by with Stephen Joseph Popick. Popick is in his suit and tie ensemble and carries an air of arrogance around him. The crowd boos loudly. Popick fixes his glasses as Josh begins speaking. JOSH MATTHEWS Stephen Joseph Popick, we have just heard from AngleSault a few moments ago, that at the Halloween Spectacular in two weeks time, you will be going head-to-head against Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. Now this will be your first OAOAST World Title Match in almost two years. And you yourself are a former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. What are your thoughts about this announcement? STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Well, J.Math, it's like this: AngleSault and I have never really seen eye-to-eye. We've both been in the One And Only AngleSault Thread since pretty much the beginning, but we've never been the best of friends. Fact is, I think he's still bitter that I drove the aWo out of the OAOAST. Josh gives Popick a "Are you kidding me?" expression. Popick ignores him. POPICK But it's good to see that AngleSault knows business, and he knows that Stephen Joseph Popick DESERVES a World Title shot. Now, I know we've got some naysayers out there. People who think Popick doesn't deserve a shot since he's been managing more than he's been wrestling lately. But what those naysayers forget is that I, Stephen Joseph Popick, am a world class wrestler! I am a world class athlete in fact! And while I might not have been showing what I got in the ring lately, these fans all know my history in this company! They know what I can do! And they know that Landon Maddix better come prepare on Halloween night, because I will certainly be giving it all I've got to finally take the World Heavyweight Title AWAY from that pesky little weasel! J. MATH That brings up another point, Popick. Your client and friend, "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican, already has a World Title shot at November Reign. If you were to win the World Heavyweight Title, would you be willing to face your client and friend in a match? POPICK Josh, Puerto and I are closer than most brothers. But we understand that business is business. We agreed long ago that whoever got the World Title first, the other one would get the first crack at it. And that agreement hasn't changed. JOSH Well, you certainly had a little conflict last week as we all saw. You basically told PRL that it was All or Nothing at November Reign. Either he wins the World Title, or your alliance, your partnership with him is over. Popick chuckles at this. POPICK Josh, that was just in the heat of the moment. We all have those moments. I mean, I certainly do. I AM human after all. A human of superior intellect, but a human nonetheless. I didn't mean all of what I said. Yes, I am disappointed that PRL didn't win the World Heavyweight Title at Zero Hour, but I'm not gonna end our friendship over that! Me and PRL are still tight, yo. There are no problems in our camp. And I know that he'll be rooting me on when I take on Landon Maddix on October 31st. Because whether I win or lose, the fact is Landon Maddix will be WEAKENED. And my man, my friend, Tha Puerto Rican, will swoop right in for the kill! J.MATH Sounds like you're ready for the Halloween Spectacular, then? POPICK I sure am, Josh. I sure am! The question is, is Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix ready? Because he better be. Landon. Fuck me? Popick points to the camera. POPICK FUCK YOU! Popick walks out of the shot. JOSH MATTHEWS Well, there you have it. Stephen Joseph Popick ready to face Landon Maddix at the Halloween Spectacular despite knowing full well that Tha Puerto Rican already has a World Title Match with Maddix on November 25th at November Reign! Yet, he insists that that hasn't caused any friction between him and P.R. Is he telling the truth? Well, maybe we'll find out soon enough. Back to you guys at Sofa Central. (Return to Sofa Central with Cole and Coach.) COLE Thanks Josh. Well, you heard it from the man himself. Popick vs. Maddix is scheduled to be our main event at the Halloween Spectacular and Popick is not complaining one bit. However, what happens if Popick wins the match AND the Title? Does he get Landon's spot in the Fatal Four Way Match at November Reign? COACH I would think so. Landon would fail at defending his Title. So, yeah, I would think that would be the end of that. COLE But if that happens, then at November Reign, PRL and Popick will BOTH be fighting for the World Heavyweight Title! COACH And I'm sure they both know that. But, you heard Popick. Business is business. They know what's up for grabs at November Reign. Believe me. COLE Well, the Halloween Spectacular is sure to be one unforgettable night. The main event will be a match whose ramifications will be felt all over the OAOAST, specifically for the three other men in the November Reign main event 6 weeks away! It's Stephen Joseph Popick going one-on-one with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix, and yes, the World Heavyweight Title WILL be on the line in this one! Join us in two weeks right here on TSM for the Halloween Spectacular, Halloween night, October 31st! COMMERCIAL COMING UP NEXT Camden Westcott steps into the fire Camden Westcott Vs ??? NEXT

HeldDOWN~! Returns Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime BUFFER Wrestling fans, the following special attraction is scheduled for one fall. Now arriving on the red carpet with MOLLY NERDLY, representing THE ENTERPRISE, from 90210 and one half of the famed Beverly Hills Blonds... “BOX OFFICE” SIMON SINGLETON! “BOO!” Rather than hog the spotlight for himself, Simon waits at the top of the stage for his partner. HEY WAIT…! WAHAHAHAHA, WAH, WAH, WAH... LOGAN HOLLY COACH Somebody needs to find out who’s doing that and fire them. This is a professional show and bush league mistakes such as that shouldn’t be tolerated. BUFFER His tag team partner, accompanied by the “Angel of Death” HOLLY-WOOD, hails from Sin City and says he is the ultimate “Macho MACHO” Mann, representing the Heavenly Rockers… LOGAN USHER MANN! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” An unthinkable act a year ago, Simon greets Logan with a high-five…but is no sold. Upon realizing the moment was caught on both OAOAST cameras and his own Sicyclops, a deeply embarrassed Simon Singleton covers both lenses with his hands. COACH Oh, you must really love seeing that, right, Cole? COLE I question Simon’s judgment given their respective teams past history, but nothing will ever get me to feel sorry for that arrogant jerk. A man who’d leave his wife and kids to “live the life” is no man at all. COACH Answer me this: Do you hear his ex raising hell in the press? No! That hag loves those big checks she receives every month. Chump change for an Enterprise employee. *WHIIIR!* *WHIIIR!* “YYEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!” It's raining men - Hallelujah It's raining men - Amen BUFFER Their opponents! First, from the Windy City… DR. STEVEN PIGLEY! His partner proudly represents Los Diablos de Fuego and resides in beautiful, sunny Cabo San Lucas, Mexíco… MORACCA! Moracca and Dr. Steven put smiles on people’s faces as strut down the aisle playing to their fan base. COLE Here are two men with scores to settle. For Moracca, its revenge for the beat down he and partner Mariachi received weeks ago at the hands of the Heavenly Rockers, while Dr. Steven looks to rearrange the face of Simon Singleton after he got plunked with the Sicyclops last week. COACH First of all, Los Diablos should be glad they haven’t been deported yet. Secondly, it’s not Simon’s fault Dr. Steven is so clumsy he ran into the Sicyclops. No wonder Windy City Hospital leads the nation in malpractice suits. COLE That’s not true! The heels bail as the good guys strip their clothes off and enter. Michael Cole the lucky recipient of both Moracca’s poncho and Steven’s lab coat. COLE While Moracca and Steven discuss who’ll start, Logan makes it easy on Simon and exits on his own accord, causing Molly to question his commitment to the team until a death stare from Holly changes her mind. COACH Can’t say I blame Molly for backing down. Holly isn’t very fond of female Nerdlys. COLE Melody would attest to that. * DINGDINGDING * Moracca is ready to go and he wants him some of Logan Mann, but the feeling isn’t mutual. That doesn’t stop the flaming luchador from going after his prime target anyway! Fortunately Simon is there to back Logan up and clubs the Diablo from behind. *CHOP* “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP* “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP* “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Grinning from ear to ear, Simon paintbrushes Moracca, then whips… No, it’s reversed! TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER! ONE… KICKOUT! The doctor is (tagged) in, and together he and Moracca perform the LOVEMATIC GRAMPA! ONE… TWO… But again Simon kicks out. His cries for help fall on deaf ears as he‘s almost beheaded by a vicious LARIAT! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Logan rakes the eyes to breakup the count! Then, while the referee deals with Moracca, Mann drags Singleton to safety and tags in once the official turns around. “BOO!” COLE You know, I could go on about the need for a second official in these types of matches but I’d just be beating a dead horse at this point. Logan stomps on Dr. Steven, and then rams him into the turnbuckle. A fury of sharp left jabs and a big right hand later, Mann whips him across to the far corner…but Pigley gets the boot up and climbs to the top! MISSLE DROPKICK! ONE… KICKOUT! A tag is made and Logan quickly heads for the hills, leaving Simon defenseless as Moracca slams him inside. The flaming luchador wrings the arm and fondles himself with Simon’s own hand! COACH Imagine the horror he must be experiencing. B.O.S.S. frees himself with a knee to the gut and a clubbing blow to the back of the head. Irish whip, but it’s reversed…and Simon counters with a SWINGING NECKBREAKER! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! With Moracca down on the mat Logan wants in, but after being burned twice already Simon refuses his request and places the Diablo in a reverse chin lock. Logan doesn’t stand for it and yanks Simon off, shoving him into their corner so he can tag himself in. Words are exchanged but the violence remains for their opponents. Logan kicks Moracca hard upside the head and lays the badmouth on him. COACH He doesn’t look so tough now. COLE That’s because Logan waited until Moracca was grounded to face him one on one. Mann easily scoops the lightweight up and MILITARY PRESS slams him! ONE… TWO… NO, Logan scoops Moracca up for another press slam…but Moracca counters with a SUNSET FLIP! ONE… TWO… THREE!! “YYEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!” * DINGDINGDING * LOGAN COLE OMG! OMG! OMG! COACH What the hell just happened?! COLE Perhaps the biggest upset in OAOAST history! Logan doesn’t go down quietly, decking Moracca with a WICKED LEFT HOOK. Synth arrives on the scene and the Heavenly Rockers begin putting the boots to Moracca. Dr. Steven comes to his aid but he’s jumped by the BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS! It’s 4 on 2 until MARIACHI and DR. MAX ANDERSON even the odds. COACH It’s turned into an 8-man Texas Tornado match, Cole. You got the Blonds squaring off with the Love Doctors and the Heavenly Rockers with Los Diablos. COLE All hell is breaking loose out here. Fans, we gotta take a break to restore order. Don’t you dare go away! COMMERCIAL

HeldDOWN~! Returns Backstage we go, to the boss' office where AngleSault is busy running over the schedule for the night with one of the many backstage underlings of the company. His conversation is interrupted though as OAOAST World Champion Landon Maddix, along with manager Megan Skye, walk into the room. The lowly worker makes a quick exit as AngleSault raises an eyebrow to Landon. ANGLESAULT Landon, glad you could make it. MADDIX Uh, Megan. Is... is it me or did it just get sarcastic in here? If that was a jab at me for being late then, well, you know how it is. Business to take care of. ANGLESAULT Ah yes. I guess I should congratulate you, Mr. Commissioner. Grinning at merely being referred to as that, the new SWF Commissioner wraps an arm around Megan's shoulder. MADDIX Ever thought of getting yourself an assistant? MEGAN Co-commissioner. MADDIX Huh? Uh, yes, that. Sorry, slip of the tongue. So, anyway. Who knows, maybe we'll be working in a different capacity in the future, Commissioner and... 'co-commissioner' to... uh, President? General Manager? What are you anyway? ANGLESAULT Well there's really no title. Frivilous things like that aren't important to me. And no offence but we haven't had the best of dealings with the SWF in the past, as I'm sure you're aware. MADDIX Yeah and The Cadillac Boys and The 70s Dude won ALL the gold at our place. ANGLESAULT That's really besides the point. Proud of your new position as I'm sure you are, I'm not here to talk about that to you. MADDIX Me neither actually. Look, I've only just got here and I've been on my cellphone all afternoon so it's possible my brains are pretty scrambled right now. But, I overhead something as I was walking in. What's this about Todd Cortez... getting a World Title shot tonight!? Because, if that's the case, you'd better have a quick re-think with your little unnamed authority group. I'm not booked to compete tonight and Megan assures me, you can't force me into anythi... Anglesault chuckles under his breath. ANGLESAULT Don't panic Landon. MADDIX Who's panicking!? I'm just saying, I beat Cortez, he shouldn't be in li... ANGLESAULT Todd Cortez is going to get his shot at you November 25th as arranged. No, tonight, he's competing for the International World Championship. And let me tell you, from speaking to him earlier, the man is just itching to get back into the ring after what you did to him in Hawaii. MADDIX Well that's super. ANGLESAULT Yes. It could very well be a clash of champions come November Reign. But, again, that's not what I wanted to call you in for. See, I can't force you into competing tonight, you're right. But I can force you to defend that title between now and November Reign. We want our World Champions to be fighting champions, to represent this company. There's been some talk that, now you're SWF Commissioner, you're not an ideal representative for this company. You competing for the SWF rather than for us last week just fuels that talk. So, I've organised a title defence for you on October 31st, to keep everybody happy. I've got Stephen Joseph Popick in my ear about wanting another match with you so you'll be facing him at the Halloween Spectacular. MADDIX To soften me up for PRL, like last time? AngleSault shrugs. ANGLESAULT That's down to you now isn't it? MADDIX Very true. No problem, I'm not surprised he doesn't trust PRL to get the job done to be honest. Honestly, I can't wait to see who you throw into the mix once I beat PRL... AGAIN... and Zack... AGAIN... and Cortez... AGAIN... at November Reign. ANGLESAULT Glad to see you're still feeling confident. MADDIX Hey, you just keep stacking the challengers against me and I'll keep coming out on top. Two guys, three guys, eight guys. Doesn't matter. I've proven it before, not one of those guys is good enough to take my title away from me and it'll be the same story come November Reign. Let's face it, Zack's old news around here. And as far as PRL and Cortez go... just between you, me and the wall, I don't think they're quite World Championship material. ANGLESAULT We might just see different tonight. MADDIX Yeah, we might. We might. Landon chuckles to himself and walks off, leaving AS to go back to his paperwork. COMMERCIAL COMING UP NEXT Moracca & Dr. Steven Pigley vs. Logan Mann & Simon Singleton NEXT

From the Nationwide Arena in C-Bus, OH. "Nationwide Arena is a sports and entertainment arena in Columbus, Ohio. It opened in 2000 and is the home of the Columbus Blue Jackets, a franchise in the National Hockey League, who were joined for the 2004 season by the Columbus Destroyers of the Arena Football League" -Wikipedia possibly Rescue 911 Vs The SCM, but then again I dunno.

niggas is using the booking thread and its only sunday? dudes is getting sick in this forum. but, i messed, the show is in Columbus, Georgia. hell is Columbus, Georgia? Man, that shit is ugly!

i thought what was there was some good stuff. Good work by folk.