Patty O'Green

credits for real dude the pirates really suk No, really, think of all the shit that you've done since 1992. That's when the Pirates last had a winning season. Some of you may not have even been old enough to walk in 1992. -I don't mean making the p'offs. I just mean a winning season. All that requires is winning 82 games!

This past weekend... ANGLESLAM PRESS CONFERENCE We're in New York City in the presence of a large group of OAOAST fans and assembled media. Two tables are set up, either side of a podium, directly under the large AngleSlam 2007 banner. On one table sitting furthest left, World Heavyweight Champion Landon Maddix with his manageress Megan Skye; Enterprise CEO Theodore Moneymaker with his newly won One And Only Tag Team Title belt; and and empty seat ready for Tha Puerto Rican. On the other side, "Silky Smooth" Leon Rodez; an empty seat ready for Zack Malibu and an empty seat, belonging to OAOAST namesake AngleSault who takes his position on the podium. ANGLESAULT Good evening and thank you all for coming out tonight. It's a privilege for the OAOAST to be here in the city so great they named it twice, New York, New York, in the shadows of Madison Square Garden with AngleSlam 2007 set to eminate from it's hallowed halls in just four weeks' time. In a moment, I'll give the gentlemen to the side of me a chance to voice their opinions. You have been warned. (polite laughter) But first, I have a little announcement of my own. As you're all aware, the scheduled main-event will be a Triple Threat Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship, featuring Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix, "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Zack Malibu. However, as you'll be aware, our OAOAST cards always come with the tag 'Card Subject To Change'. Cue surprised looks from those on AngleSault's left and right. ANGLESAULT As well as the chance to compete in Madison Square Garden, the OAOAST has another great opportunity awaiting us in the next few weeks. On Thursday, August 16th, our flagship television programme HeldDOWN~! will be broadcasting live from Honolulu, Hawaii. And to mark this occassion, we will be giving our fans a great main-event. The OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, Landon Maddix, will defend his title one on one against "The Urban Legend" Todd Cortez. Landon's eyes can be seen bugging out in the background. He turns to Megan with fevered whispers as AS continues. ANGLESAULT Of course, should Mr. Cortez win the OAOAST Title on August 16th, the main-event of AngleSlam will be effected. So, an official ruling has been made and added to the contracts the men behind me signed a few weeks ago. The match will remain a Triple Threat Match should Landon Maddix retain. However, if Todd Cortez wins the OAOAST World Title, then the main-event of AngleSlam 2007 will become a Fatal Fourway Match. Thank you. And now, a word from our World Champion, LANDON MADDIX!! As AngleSault retakes his seat, Landon just sits where he is, arms folded. AngleSault looks a little embarrassed as the crowd begin booing, even despite the lovely Megan Skye making her way to the podium. MEGAN Landon would like to refuse to comment, in light of recent developments. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Megan retakes her seat next to Landon, who is nodding away, pouting ever so slightly. Moneymaker just looks at the Champion next to him curiously as he dismissively waves his hand at AngleSault to carry on with proceedings without him. The toys are well and truly out of the pram. And so, wtih no signs of 'conference' at this Press Conference from the Champ... THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD “YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” ...we are suddenly LIVE in Seattle, Washington! We couldn't afford Safeco Field you understand. And there's no time to waste, no fancy videos, no highly debated theme music, no Sofa Central banter. Instead we go straight inside a rockin’ Key Arena and Michael Cole on the INTERVIEW STAGE. COLE Good evening and welcome to Thursday night’s most watched television program, HeldDOWN~! And at this time I’d like to introduce to you, accompanied by their Chief Financial Officer MACKENZIE DECENZO and JADE RODEZ, the reigning OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions…the BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS and CPA…and the newly crowned One & Only World Tag Team Champions…THEODORE MONEYMAKER and CHRISTIAN WRIGHT… THE ENTERPRISE!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” "You break the laws You hustle, you deal, you steal from us all Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Money talks" Theodore Moneymaker relishes the hostile reception, laughing manically, arms high up to his sides, as he leads The Enterprise to the podium. Tagging along is MOLLY NERDLY, Simon Singleton’s recently acquired flunky intern. She watches intently, jotting down notes as the “Video Voyeur” records on his 'Siclopse' camera. COACH Yo, vendor guy! Yeah, can a brother get a chili-dog here or what? I've been waving atcha for like ten minu... huh? What do you mean I'm on? ...Oh. Hey ya'll in TV land. Coach here. Heh. CPA stands imposingly in the background, while the rest of the gang surround Moneymaker on the interview stage. COLE Mr. Moneymaker, congratulations are in order for your and Christian Wright’s victory last week, in the process becoming the first ever One & Only World Tag Team Champions. That coming off the heels of the Beverly Hills Blonds and CPA’s successfully defending the World 6-Man Tag Titles… SIMON/NED :D COLE …against Leon Rodez and D*LUX a couple weeks ago on Syndicated. However, both victories came with their fair share of controversy. I’m speaking of your involvement in the 6-Man Title match that ultimately led to the Blonds and CPA retaining and also the matter in which you and Mr. Wright went about capturing the One & Only World Tag Team Championship last week. MONEYMAKER Nobody cares how you win, just who won, little man. But it’s only apropos, being that we’re in the Pacific Northwest where rain is seemingly an every day part of life, you and the 9-5ers of the world are drowning in your own sorrow now that my Enterprise has added the One & Only World Tag Team Championship to our portfolio! Given the amount of gold we’re carrying, you’d think we just robbed Fort Knox. Luckily for the federal government, we’re upstanding citizens and proud Americans unlike those Chicks Over Dicks, who everybody knows wouldn’t think twice about going through with such a stunt to strike at the heart of capitalism. As far as I’m concerned, they’ve already committed one act of domestic terrorism the night they cost Mr. Wright and myself the World Tag Team Championship. Don’t remember? I figured you wouldn’t, so allow me to refresh your memory by taking you back in time to the start of the New Year -- the New Year’s Spectacular to be exact. The titles are on the line in a Tag Team Turmoil match. Because “money talks, bullshit walks”…heh heh heh…CW and I happen to draw the last spot in the bout. Pretty good deal, right? It got even better when the previous two combats eliminated themselves via double count-out, making us the new World tag team champions by default. Then in a deed that ranks up there with Pearl Harbor and 9/11... COLE MONEYMAKER …COD return out of the blue and surprised us for the 1-2-3. HAHAHA! What goes around comes around, little girls. Now that the shoe is on the other foot, people are screaming bloody murder. Just the other day my office received an e-mail linking to an online petition asking the Board of Directors to overturn our win. Let me tell all you lowly cellar dwellers out there, crying over spilled milk isn’t going to wipe the wet spot off the floor, losers. Maybe it’ll finally open up your eyes and make you realize never to bet against the Billion Dollar Heir. I’ll pay any price and use anything, or anyone… (glances at Mackie) MACKENZIE MONEYMAKER …HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…to get what I want. Applauding, Ned steps into centre stage. After all, it's been five minutes and people have stopped looking at him, which is bugging him no end. BLANCHARD It’s been said behind every great man is an equally great woman. But that isn't always the case. Just look at Krista. That was a situation where there was a great man behind a woman, which produced a baby girl. Well, actually... I guess I didn't produce the baby girl while I was behind her, per-se. Although, we did this one thing where... my point is, the Enterprise is fortunate to have TWO great women, real women in Mackenzie DeCenzo and Jade Rodez. They put their... (looking at Jade) bodies... on the line, in more ways than one to ensure COD was less than 100% going into the Scramble Cage match. And for that, we were all very gratified. Simon slaps Ned on the shoulder. BLANCHARD Uh, grateful. Yes. WRIGHT Indeed. Because of the efforts of our graceful confidantes, unsuccessful though they may have inevitably concluded, the debauchery that infested the tag team division under COD’s reign of tyranny has been mercifully cleansed. Ultimately, the pride and integrity of these championship trophies have been restored. SINGLETON (filming himself speak at same time) Yeah, now parents finally have role models their children can hopelessly fail to emulate. But don’t feel too bad kids, there aren’t many people in the world who can follow in our footsteps. BLANCHARD Better to shoot for the stars than the arm with heroin. SINGLETON That’s deep, man. BLANCHARD I’m a father. I have a vested interest in the youth of America. 18-25 year old females! The Blonds high-five and goof around with a non-respondent CPA. Meanwhile, Theodore picks up where CW left off. MONEYMAKER As a token of our appreciation, ladies… With the snap of his fingers, stage hands bring out a pair of GIFT BOXES (one large and one regular sized). Mackenzie is slightly disappointed to receive the smaller of the two, but knowing Teddy spares no expense she eagerly unwraps the present. Her jaw drops as she pulls out a MINK FUR COAT and puts it on. MONEYMAKER There you go, sugar. None of that faux fur others in the OAOAST run around with. It’s the real deal, baby. You deserve it for all the work you’ve done. Go ahead Jade. Open yours up. BLANCHARD That's a hard one for me to pass up, but yeah, open it Jade. I picked this out myself. JADE That look says it all, but Jade goes ahead and opens the box anyway. Inside... JADE MACKIE …a giant FRAME PHOTO OF NED SUNBATHING IN HIS SPEEDOS!?! BLANCHARD Do you like it? I chose it myself. If you think that’s hot and it totally is, then what you’re about to see is going to blow the mercury through the thermometer! Ned Blanchard in action. Well, really the Beverly Hills Blonds and CPA. By popular demand we're going to put our belts up in the most anticipated sequel in history. Bigger than every blockbuster in Hollywood combined! Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime CALL ME! (call me) The Blonds, Mackie and Jade head to the ring under the security protection of CPA. COLE Oh, my! You’re telling me the Blonds and CPA are going to face Leon Rodez and D*LUX in a rematch for the 6-man tag team championship? MONEYMAKER Like Ned said, little man, it’s by popular demand. But it won’t be the only tag title one the line this evening. Because I’m in such a good mood, you’ll also have the privilege of seeing the new One & Only World Tag Team champions in their first title defense! So what we’re going to do right now, Cole, is take a quick break to allow the nickel-and-dimers of the world -- and there’s plenty of them, just look at all the poverty out there in the stands -- to get on the phone and call their friends because they’re not going to want and miss this, the most anticpated sequel in history. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! COLE You heard it, fans. Don’t you dare go away. The 6-Man Titles are on the line next! * COMMERCIAL *

Magnum Opus hits, and Alfdogg makes his way through the curtains. COLE And it's time for our second "Pick Your Poison" match! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following is another "Pick Your Poison" match, scheduled for one fall! Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 240 pounds...he is a former two-time OAOAST WORLD Heavyweight champion, and the REIGNING WDW Heavyweight champion of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD...ALFDOGG!!!!! COLE And Reject has chosen his former tag team partner, Thunderkid, as Alf's opposition, of course those three men all former associates in the Deadly Alliance! Alf slides through the ropes and poses on the buckles, then hands his belt to the referee. God of Thunder hits, and Thunderkid makes his way through the curtains to a huge ovation. COLE And Thunderkid getting a tremendous response from the crowd here in Seattle! Back to Buffer! BUFFER His opponent...hailing from Green Bay, Wisconsin, and weighing in at 250 pounds...he is the REIGNING OAOAST Heartland champion...THUNDERKID!!!!! TK makes his way to the ring, and also poses on the buckles. He hands his belt to the referee, who calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COACH What a showdown, Cole! Alf and TK face off in the ring. Alf trash talks TK for a few seconds, then gives him a shove, but TK shoves right back! Alf backs off for a minute, then moves in and ties up. TK shoves Alf back into the corner! COLE TK showing off the strength in the early going! Alf moves in and ties up once again. TK grabs a side headlock, but Alf backs him into the ropes, and shoves him off. Alf drops down, then hops back up and leapfrogs TK, before TK bowls him over with a shoulder check, sending him right underneath the ropes to the floor! COLE And Alf early to the outside, he may want to take some time to regroup! Alf wanders around ringside for a minute, then slides back in. He slowly moves in on TK and takes him down with a side headlock. COLE Nice move by Alf right there... TK reaches up with his legs and grabs Alf in a headscissors, but Alf kips up to escape, then takes him down with a second one! TK tries another headscissors, but Alf dodges this one and clamps down on the headlock, forcing TK to the mat... 1... 2... Shoulder up! TK fights the headlock, then forces his way to his feet. He pushes Alf off into the ropes, and goes for a clothesline, but Alf ducks and executes a reverse sunset flip! 1... 2... Kickout! Alf then catches TK with a small package! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Alf with a decided quickness advantage, as you can see right now! Alf then takes him down with another side headlock! COACH Really like what I'm seeing from Alf so far! This time, TK slips out the back, and grabs Alf in an armbar! COLE But a nice escape by TK right there! TK drives a knee into Alf's arm, but Alf is able to sit up, then gets to his feet. Alf drives an elbow right into the face of TK, then applies an armbar of his own! COLE What an elbow by Alf, right to the face! Alf jerks down on the arm a couple times, but TK rolls on the mat, then does a front handspring, and reverses the hold! He forces Alf down to the mat, then drops to his knees and applies pressure. COACH And this one's a see-saw matchup so far, Cole, but I don't think TK can continue to match Alf hold-for-hold like this! Alf works his way back to his feet, then backs TK into the ropes. He drives a knee to the midsection, then whips him across. He drops down, then hops up and attempts another leapfrog, but this time TK catches him and executes a powerslam! COLE Great counter move by TK! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! TK then applies the armbar once again. Again, Alf gets to his feet and backs him into the ropes. He whips him across, and TK ducks a clothesline and attempts a crucifix, but Alf counters to a Samoan drop! COACH And how about that nice counter by Alf? Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Alf gets to his feet and turns TK over, executing a snap legdrop! He then stops to taunt the crowd, drawing boos, before picking up TK and whipping him into the ropes. TK ducks a clothesline, then Alf drops to the mat, then comes back up to deliver a AA SPINEBUSTER~! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE The action fast and furious here in this match! Alf reapplies the side headlock. TK slowly fights his way to his feet, then sends Alf across the ring. TK drops down, then leapfrogs, then drops down and takes Alf across the ring with a reverse monkey flip! Alf gets to his feet, only to be floored by a TK clothesline! COACH The action's really starting to pick up now, Cole! TK picks up Alf and whips him into the ropes, catching him in a gutwrench...but Alf lands on his feet, then scoops TK up in a gutwrench...and plants him with a TOMBSTONE~! COLE Tombstone piledriver! That could do it if Alf covers! However, Alf scales the top rope instead. COACH No, he's going for the splash! Alf gets his balance on the top rope, and flies off for the FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH~!!!!!11111...but TK rolls out of the way! COLE But nobody home! Both men lay on the mat, as the referee lays a count on. 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! TK sits up, and Alf rolls towards the ropes. TK gets to his feet, waiting for Alf to get to his, and charges...but Alf ducks down, and backdrops TK to the floor! COLE Wow, TK took a big fall right there! COACH I think Alf set him up for that one, Cole! Alf catches his breath briefly, then walks over to the ropes, and hits TK with a SOMERSAULT PLANCHA~! COLE Alf flying out of the ring on top of the Heartland champion! Alf jaws with a couple ringsiders, before picking up TK and ramming him back-first into the ringpost! Alf then rolls TK back in, and executes a snap suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Alf picks up TK and backs him into a corner. Alf delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And a third! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! COACH Can you imagine the chopfest between Alf and Reject at AngleSlam? Alf executes a fisherman's suplex! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Two-count! Yes indeed, both Alf and Reject excel with those knife-edge chops, that would be interesting to see! Alf picks up Reject, then picks him up in a suplex, setting him on the top rope. COACH Looks like a superplex or a hurricanrana coming up! Alf follows TK up and grabs him in a front facelock. COLE Looks like a superplex! However, TK delivers a shot to the gut, and a second, and a third, before shoving Alf back to the mat! COLE But TK counters! TK stands up on the top rope, waiting for Alf to get to his feet...and attempts a HURRICANRANA~!...but Alf catches him and powerbombs him to the mat! Alf then holds onto the legs, and steps through them... COLE Alf counters the hurricanrana with a powerbomb, and a cover...no look, could be the Sharpshooter! Alf turns TK over and pulls him to mid-ring, sitting back with the SHARPSHOOTER~!!!!!11111 COACH He's got it! COLE Could this be it for TK? It's right in the middle of the ring! TK tries to push up, but Alf continues to sit down as TK grimaces in pain. COACH I don't think he's going to make it, Cole! TK slowly inches towards the ropes, making pained sound effects the whole way. He finally makes one last lunge, and reaches the ropes! COLE He made it! The referee lays a count on Alf, who breaks at four. Alf then stomps TK in the ropes, before picking him up and backing him into a corner, delivering a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And a second! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! However, TK returns fire on this one! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! TK delivers a second! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And a third! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Alf goes to the eyes. COLE TK started to mount a little bit of a comeback, but Alf put a stop to that in a hurry! Alf whips TK across the ring, and charges, but runs right into the foot of TK! COLE But now TK able to stunt that charge from Alf! TK shakes the cobwebs off, then whips Alf across the ring. Alf ducks a clothesline, but TK catches him with a belly-to-belly gutwrench! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! TK measures Alf, and floors him with a clothesline! And a second! And a third! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up again! TK picks Alf up, and lifts him overhead in a PRESS SLAM~! COLE Look at the power still left in TK! TK tosses Alf hard to the mat! Cover... 1... 2... NO!!! Alf gets a foot on the bottom rope! COLE And Alf very lucky to land by the ropes right there! TK lifts Alf up onto the top rope, then follows him up, all the way to the top rope...and executes a HURRICANRANA~! COLE And a hurricanrana from the top by TK! Will this do it? 1... 2... ... NO!!! Alf gets a shoulder up! COLE What resolve being shown here by Alf, by both men for that matter! TK then signals for the finish! COLE And TK says he's going to end it! TK hooks a front facelock, then lifts Alf in suplex position...but Alf drops behind the back, and executes a German suplex! 1... 2... NO! Kickout! COACH What a match this is, Cole! Can you imagine what's in store at AngleSlam? Alf slowly gets to his feet, and picks up TK, whipping him into the corner. Alf charges, but TK gets a foot up, spinning Alf around. TK sits on the top rope and climbs onto Alf's shoulders, and attempts a victory roll, but Alf blocks in mid-move, turns around, and applies the SHARPSHOOTER~!!!!!11111 once again! COLE Sharpshooter applied again! This could finally be it! As TK makes his way towards the ropes once again, Reject walks towards the ring, holding a steel chair! COLE And now Reject coming to the ring, just like Alf did in his match! COACH But I don't understand what he's waiting for! Reject stands and watches as TK inches towards the ropes. COLE Reject just waiting for the right moment to slide in there! TK reaches the ropes, and wraps both arms around the bottom rope...but that leaves his head open for a Reject chair shot! COACH Look at that, Cole! The referee calls for the bell! *DING DING DING* Alf releases the hold, thinking he's won! COLE I think the referee just dsqualified Alfdogg! The referee explains to Alf what went down, and Alf immediately looks out at Reject. BUFFER The winner of the match, as a result of a disqualification...THUNDERKID! Reject backs down the aisle, smirking and pointing at his head. COLE Reject I think just deliberately got Alf disqualified! COACH Reject really pulled one over on Alf tonight! Alf fumes in the ring, as Reject walks to the back. COLE Reject really playing with Alf's head as we head into AngleSlam! Folks, we will see you next week from Honolulu! Good night, everybody!

COLE And coming up, we've go... Suddenly, boos ring out in the arena, forcing Michael Cole to trail off. Through the entrance way walk Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright, the One And Only World Tag Team Champions. And they're not dressed to compete. MONEYMAKER I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'm afraid I have some bad news. The Billion Dollar Heir waits for some quiet. MONEYMAKER Earlier tonight, I promised you all a 6-Man Tag Team Title rematch. And it looks like you got it. Earlier tonight, I also promised a One And Only Tag Title defence, seeing as I was in such a good mood. Well, as you can plainly see... I am no longer in a good mood. Which is why, as of right now, that scheduled title defence has been CANCELLED! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE What!? Can he do that? COACH Of course he can, he's Theodore Moneymaker! MONEYMAKER Atfer the events of earlier tonight, myself and Christian feel it wouldn't be wise to compete in the current climate. On behalf of The Enterprise, I will be lodging an official enquiry into just how we were robbed of our 6-Man Tag Team Championships. And we will not be competing out of protest at the injustice. Thank you. .:CUE: "Medal":. COLE Uh-oh! Moneymaker freezes as sure enough, the doors part behind him and ANGLESAULT appears to the roaring reception!! After a brief acknowledgment of the cheers, AS turns to Moneymaker and shakes his head. ANGLESAULT You know, you really do keep putting us all in a tough position, don't you? Here I was, expecting a big Tag Team Title match tonight. I go out and I try to put the word out, get anyone stupid enough to miss the show this week to tune in. And you bait and switch? Well 'Theodore', you have your way. For now. You don't have to defend your titles tonight because to be honest, what happened earlier really shouldn't have. MONEYMAKER You're damn right it shouldn't! ANGLESAULT And I feel a little guilty about it. Only a little mind you. So, no title match tonight. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" ANGLESAULT BUT... see, we were expecting one. So I had been in the process of sorting that match out. After what happened earlier, I cancelled your big plans, out of fairness to yourselves. And I put out an open challenge to find a set of challengers, which was understandably answered pretty quickly. So, in my office, we have an open challenge, signed and answered, to face you for the Tag Team Titles. Tonight isn't good for you? In which case, we'll re-arrange and you WILL be defending those titles, next week in Honolulu, Hawaii! Rolling his eyes, Moneymaker ponders how this night could get any worse as AngleSault begins to leave. ANGLESAULT Oh! I almost forgot. The team that answered the challenge... were COD!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE ALRIGHT!! COACH You've got to be ki... MONEYMAKER NO! NO, DAMNIT NO! AS looks shocked at being spoke back to and stops from leaving again. MONEYMAKER This isn't fair! And after what happened earlier on, you want to start being fair to me Mr. Anglesault. Because you see, there's another group of people in my life that don't play fair, my lawyers! And I won't hesitate in hanging you out to dry like an Eddie Murphy paternity suit, so help me! ANGLESAULT I think you and your lawyers will find we've got a legal binding contract with Krista and Alix. MONEYMAKER Fine, but if you give them a title shot, it's on our terms. We choose the match. We choose... we choose the referee, since your officials can't seem to distinguish between an anorexic masked man and a boyband wanabee and who's in a match and who isn't! We'll take those Chicks Over Dicks on, but on the one condition, Mackenzie DeCenzo is the referee! ANGLESAULT If that's what it takes, fine. MONEYMAKER Fine. Then you've got your match! AngleSault nods and finally heads off, "Medal" playing as Moneymaker and Wright are left on stage frustrated with the way their day continues to go. COLE What an announcement. We've got a World Title match, now a World Tag Title match***, both next week here on HeldDOWN~! from Honolulu, what a show that promises to be!! ***=lol not next week if patty is the one who has to write it!!! COMING UP NEXT "I sell thee poison; thou hast sold me none" PICK YOUR POISON NEXT

(Cut back to the OAOAST AngleSlam 2007 press conference over the weekend.) ANGLESAULT Our next speaker is no stranger to the microphone. In fact, you can say he's something of a motor mouth. But at AngleSlam, he's going to need his talent in the ring, not on the mic, to beat not one, but TWO men and become the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion for the first time in his career. The crowd starts booing, since they know who this person is. ANGLESAULT (CONT'D) So, please join me in welcoming, the longest reigning 24/7 Champion in OAOAST history, he is the leader of The Lightning Crew, and he says he's the most electrifying man in all of professional wrestling. He is the Man With The Golden Contract, which he will cash in at AngleSlam. He is "The Corporate Champion" THA PUERTOOOO RICCCCAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* "Know Your Role '99" begins playing over the speakers. The crowd boos loudly. "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican steps out and "smells the electricity". PRL carries his black spray-painted briefcase with his Golden Contract inside as he walks up to the podium. PR is wearing his standard Corporate attire of a white collar shirt, red tie, black sports jacket, Puerto Rican flag bandana on his head, an earring in his left ear, sunglasses, a $500 Rolex watch on his right wrist, his engagement ring on his right ring finger, black dress pants, and black dress shoes. PRL shakes AngleSault's right hand, and then glances over at Zack Malibu and Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix. "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" PRL is now at the podium prepared to speak. But he's interrupted by the "P.R. SUCKS!" chant. PRL uses this opportunity to "smell the electricity" again. The chant gets louder. The Corporate Champ chuckles. He puts his black spray-painted briefcase on the table next to him. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN FINALLY...Tha Puerto Rican...WILL BECOME WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" THA PUERTO RICAN The countdown is on! Three weeks and counting! Three more weeks until my date with destiny! Sunday night. August the 26th. 2007. Madison Square Garden in New York City. The site where YOUR CORPORATE Champion finally...FINALLY takes his rightful place on the OAOAST throne. The site where Tha Puerto Rican will join the legends in immortality! The site where Tha Puerto Rican, come hell or high water, will defeat not one, but TWO...jabronies... "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" PRL And will finally get the chance to wear the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. The crowd boos again. Landon is mockingly applauding PRL. Zack Malibu is just rolling his eyes. PRL And you see, this ain't gonna be no ordinary match. Oh no. This is going to be the greatest Triple Threat Match of all-time! Better than any Triple Threat Match you have ever seen! You've got The Corporate One on one side. You've got The Franchise on the other side. And then you got the World Heavyweight Champion himself on ANOTHER side. And the three of us will duke it out. Oh yes. You better believe we will collide. Because I know that Zack's gonna bring his 'A' game in our match. And I know that our Champion, whatshisface, will bring it-- LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX Landon! My name is Landon Maddix! LAN-DON MAD-DIX! Remember that name, Puerto! You're going to be hearing it alot more from now on! Without missing a beat, PRL continues. THA PUERTO RICAN And we will give you fans a match of a lifetime! But let me tell you something, Lightning Bolts. There's only one way--AND THA PUERTO RICAN MEANS ONE-- CROWD WAY! Tha Puerto Rican looks annoyed at the crowd finishing his catchphrase (Cough). PRL ...Don't do that. Anyway, as I was saying, there is only one way--AND THA PUERTO RICAN MEANS ONE WAY--this match will end. And that is with Tha Puerto Rican, with Stephen Joseph Popick AND my fiancee Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez by my side, raising the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over my head with my music playing and confetti falling from the rafters in front of the sold out crowd at Madison Square Garden! LOUD boos for that remark, although there are some cheers mixed in there. PRL looks at the crowd with a satisfied grin on his face. "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" PRL And so, on August 26th, I will cash *this* in (points to his black spray-painted briefcase). And some would say it's about time. And you know what? I actually agree with them. IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME! And in this match, I have the chance to pin either Zack Malibu-- "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" PRL Or...(mockingly): Landon. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO/YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" PRL And I think the question on everybody's mind is, just who will I pin or make submit to win the World Title? Zack Malibu or Landon Maddix? Now, Zack-- PRL turns his attention to Zack Malibu. He has his clear undivided attention. PRL We've had our run-ins in the past. We've gotten down and dirty several times. In Lethal Rumbles, Elimination Chambers, and whatnot. But this is the very first time that I am facing you on a pay-per-view. And in the main event, no less! And, even though I don't really give a damn who I beat to win the match...I gotta say, there's a part of me that's hoping, PRAYING, that it is you I beat to become the World Heavyweight Champion! I mean, how great would that be? The Corporate Champ defeating Zack Malibu, the Franchise of the OAOAST, to win his first World Title! How appropriate would that be? Huh? Do you agree? LOUD boos for that comment. Zack just stares at PRL, his expression as serious as ever. PRL chuckles while looking at Malibu. THA PUERTO RICAN Oh, I am SOOO looking forward to being in the same ring as you, Zack, on the 26th. Finally, Tha Puerto Rican and Zack Malibu will collide in an OAOAST ring. This will be something people will tell their grandkids about in the future. The day they saw Tha Puerto Rican layeth the smacketh down on the single greatest OAOAST Superstar of all-time! That's going to be something! BUT, there is also another person in this match. Landon Maddix. PRL turns his attention to Landon. Landon sneers at Tha Puerto Rican. He holds up the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt. PRL That belt's been away from me for far too long. Four years is a very long time in the wrestling world. But it's okay. I can wait a little while longer. Because I know that in three weeks, that belt's coming home with me! Oh yes. That belt will be coming home, will be coming home to the place that it belongs! And Landon, you can whine, you can cry, you can complain, you can bitch all you want. None of that is going to stop me from putting my size 10 boot up your ass at AngleSlam if I have to! "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Surprisingly, the crowd pops for that remark. Landon acts appalled that PRL would say such a thing. PRL Landon, there's also a part of me that's REALLY looking forward to ripping that long hair from your head. You have managed to annoy Tha Puerto Rican just by being in this building! And that's no easy feat. If it is you I beat at AngleSlam to win the World Heavyweight Title, then my victory just might be just a *little* bit sweeter! The crowd responds to that with a mixture of boos and cheers. PRL You're not going to be able to hide behind your skank at Madison Square Garden, Landon. I've got you in my scope, and at AngleSlam, I WILL be laying the smackdown on your candy ass! The crowd actually cheers that too! PRL The image of you throwing a tantrum while I celebrate my victory fills me with joy inside. And I hope--no--I KNOW that's exactly what will happen in three weeks at AngleSlam! Because, you, my friend, are going to go down faster than your girl goes down on the bum across the street! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Landon gets up and makes his way towards the podium, but is held back by AngleSault and Theodore Moneymaker! PRL laughs manically at the comment he just made. The crowd responds with a "P.R.!" chant! Landon raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in the air, taunting Tha Puerto Rican, but P.R. just laughs. AngleSault and Moneymaker are still holding Landon back. THA PUERTO RICAN Oh lord. You're too easy. Too easy! Anyway, I'm ready for AngleSlam! My question is Zack: are you ready? And Landon: are you ready? Well, Landon, I doubt you're ready. But if you really are, then the two of you better JUST BRING IT! Because AngleSlam will be a night the both of you will never EVER forget! And that's the truth, Ruth! THE CHAMP HAS-- CROWD SPO-KUN~! PRL is annoyed at the crowd once again. THA PUERTO RICAN This is not sing-along with the Champ. Tha Puerto Rican does it by himself. PRL removes the microphone from the podium. He tilts his head back, takes a deep breath-- THA PUERTO RICAN THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~! PRL puts the microphone back on the podium. The crowd responds with a mixture of boos and cheers for the P.R. Menace. PRL raises his black spray-painted briefcase over his head. He points to it and says, "Three weeks!" Puerto Rican then walks away from the podium and to his seat. AngleSault and Theodore Moneymaker have managed to calm Landon Maddix down. A "P.R.!" chant starts, but is quickly drowned out with a "P.R. SUCKS!" chant. "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican just laughs manically while he gets himself a glass of water. The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. We must be short on time. That can be the only possible explanation as to why we're suddenly in the presence of Alix Maria Spezia going through the painstaking process of picking this week's lotto numbers. Having given up on 'known sexual conquests' after realising the range of lottery numbers doesn't go high enough, she's settled on 'offences on criminal record' as she flicks through her copy of the magazine. Of course, the other explanation for why we're seeing this could be the quick walk-by by new OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champion, Leon Rodez. ALIX Heeeyyy, what's with the upside down frown there mister? Are you really Leon Rodez? The Leon Rodez? Did I set the date on my time machine to 2005 instead of 2007 when I woke up this morning? Uh-oh, I've said too much. Quiet Alix! He cannot know the secrets. Only once he truly loves you can you be transported back to your time. Oh no, wait, that was the plot from Back To The Future. Was that the original or one of the 'cash in on the movie's success with ever decreasing in quality sequels to the point the franchise is ruined, then contemplate a prequel before realising that's pretty much accepting creative defeat'? What would they call a prequel to Back To The Future anyway? Would it be the past, the present, what the hell would be going on? Maybe I should call my agent. It could be the big screenplay writing break I need! But alas, I don't HAVE an agent, not since my pet goldfish Agent Orange's demise. I guess I should have named him 'Agent Gold' really, but goldfish aren't really gold, are they? LEON Are you two done? ALIX .....heeeyyy, what's with the upside down frown there mister? Are you really Leon Rodez? Did I set the da... LEON Jessica Beil. With a long sigh, Alix trails off and gazes into the distance. LEON Interesting. Okay, Alix, do you know where Shayne and Tyler are? I kinda figured they'd be with you by now. ALIX Nah. It's Krista they have the crush on, silly. LEON Poor kids. Okay, well, if you see them... ALIX Hey, you didn't answer my question! LEON Uh... the one about goldfish, or about popular movie prequels? ALIX The one about why you're such a happy clappy chappy! Last time I looked you were all like 'oh, my sister is gone'. 'Oh, I'm so lost without my sister'. 'Oh, my raging pornstar mojo has vanished ever since my poor sister joined The Enterprise, even with so many hot pieces of white Nerdly jailbait ass showing up every week I still can't get no love in my shack!' LEON Just so we're clear, do you count Marv and Mel in that whole 'Nerdly jailbait' thing? ALIX No! They're like, what, twenty seven! You wanna hit that, ain't no law against it. Leon just blinks. LEON Yeah, well, I just won the 6-Man Tag Titles off of Blanchard and co. Plus, I've got a good feeling about AngleSlam. ALIX That's super, little man! Super-de-duper! See, I figured me and Krista stripping off your sister's clothes and leaving her in her underwear in front of thousands of people and millions of TV viewers and then accepting polaroids of certain action shots at our more recent autograph sessions would have got you kinda bummed out just a little bit. LEON Look, I didn't like seeing my sister stripped to her underwear any more than you did. ALIX Actually, I did kinda like it. I did kinda a lot like it. A lot kinda did... uh, I... kinda lot... help? LEON You liked seeing my sister in her underwear. Which, by the way... not cool. Leon wags his finger at Alix LEON But, maybe it was for the best. She won't listen to reason. She wouldn't listen to her friends, her family. So, the only hope is her making her own mind up and unfortunately, hitting rock bottom might just speed that process up a little. ALIX Thanks Dr. Phil! LEON Yeah. So, I'm gonna be going. Nice talking to your brain. ALIX Hey, just one little teensie question before you scuttle off with that fancy little '6' belt. So, for arguement's sake, say if me and you were fooling around like for old time's sake or something and Jade just happened to walk in on us and just happened to fall onto the bed in shock and I just happened to assume she was a burglar, or some sort of alien hybrid slash burglar just to make it a little more kinky and stuff, assuming that happened, would that still be incest? Cause, I was thinking... LEON Goodbye Alix. Just before disappearing out of sight, Leon turns back to Alix and wags his finger again. LEON So not cool. We return to ring floor with the camera focused on that handsome, handsome, announcer Micahel Buffer. Take it away you sexy bitch! BUFFER The following tag team attraction, one fall with a 10 time limit. First, already in the ring…from New Mexico, total combine weight 335 pounds, the meanest, baddest hombres in el mundo…LOS CONQUISADOOOOOORRRRRRRSSSSSSS! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Uno and Dos engage in disobedience by raising a gloved fist. Humidity's risin' Barometer's getting low According to all sources The street's the place to go It's raining men - Hallelujah BUFFER And their opponents, 350 pounds… LOS DIABLOS DE FFFFFUUUUUEEEEEEEGGOOOOOOOOOO!! “YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” As gingerbread men supplied by Mrs. Spezia's Sweeties descend from the ceiling, the flaming luchadors Moracca and Mariachi prance onto the pink and yellow lit stage bumping and grinding to the music. COLE Los Diablos de Fuego and Los Conquistadors set to renewal of one of the most brutal rivalries in OAOAST history that featured barb wire gloves and tiara‘s! It wasn’t that long ago both teams competed in a grueling Mexican Deathmatch, with Los Diablos coming out on top. You can bet Los Conquistadors haven’t forgotten about that. COACH There’s something to be said about Los Diablos “coming out on top,” but I’ll take the high road on that one. COLE I thank you for it. You know, I spoke to Los Diablos earlier in the day and I can’t tell you how excited they are to finally get back in the ring. It’s been awhile since we’ve seen them in action. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” MORACCA MARIACHI Having learned to ignore the hate often directed as the result of their lifestyle, Los Diablos go on about their business, humping guardrails and searching for hunks to give their sombreros to. A policy they may wish to revise after they’re ambushed by… COLE …THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS! COLE Synth and Logan assaulting Los Diablos de Fuego, but why? COACH To make a statement. "SKATE OR DIE! SKATE OR DIE! SKATE OR DIE!" LOGAN His forehead bandaged, Logan smashes Moracca’s face into the guardrail, slicing open the flamboyant superstar. Like a shark smelling blood in the water, Mann targets the cut, pounding his knuckles into the slit pink mask. Synth, meanwhile, snake eyes Mariachi on the steel steps, then whips him into the railing with such force it sends the luchador tumbling over into the crowd! * DINGDINGDINGDINGDING * As the carnage ensues, Los Conquistadors quietly leave the area to avoid the Heavenly Rockers’ wrath, all while the bell continues to be sound. Soon OAOAST officials flood ringside in order to salvage what’s left of Los Diablos de Fuego. But not before the Heavenly Rockers DDT MORACCA ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR!! COLE Just as they did Baron Windels, breaking his nose in the process, the Heavenly Rockers double the percussion and DDT the flaming luchador on the exposed concrete. What the hell’s wrong with them?! COACH We’re going to find out apparently. Logan’s got a mic. LOGAN Sk8ter Boiz, playtime is over sayeth Logan Usher Mann! It seems as though you’ve grown a pair since the last time anyone’s seen you. You did a pretty good number on us last week. Such a good number we’ve almost forgot you cost us a chance to become the first ever One & Only World tag team champions. But it’s cool. Real STUPID, but cool. Stupid because now you’ve gotten on the Heavenly Rockers bad side, and as your sister can tell you, things get pretty crazy when we’re bad. Because we don’t just get bad, we get… SYNTH/LOGAN …b-b-b-bad to the bone! LOGAN We’re particularly quite fond of breaking them. The cool part is, now you get to work with the greatest rock ‘n’ wrestling band of all-time. “YYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!” SYNTH Meaning the Synthmeister will play a drum solo on your heads! LOGAN We’ve fought the biggest and baddest the OAOAST has had to offer. You on the other hand have faced a bunch of pussies, not just in the one Nerdly family bathroom but in the ring as well. Some penciled 6-packs and my wife won’t be enough to get by us. The beating we laid on Los Diablos is tame compared to the one we’re gonna lay on you at AngleSlam. Staring menacingly in the camera, Logan drops the mic and leaves with Synth to a chorus of boos. COLE The hottest event of the summer just got even hotter. The Heavenly Rockers vs. Sk8ter Boiz at AngleSlam! COACH I'd say I'd feel bad for Mama Nerdly after she watches her two sons get creamed on pay per view, but she has about eight more to makeup for it. COLE Sorry, Coach, I think the decked is definitely stacked against The Rockers in this one. Folks, stay tuned for more HeldDOWN after this. COMMERCIAL

OAOAST HELDDOWN IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY Miss Spezia Sweeties Eddie Murphy Sugar Cookies-So good you'll never notice the hooker has a penis. Bally Fitness-1-800-workout East Compton Boulevard Free Clinic-Who gives a fuck if I'm a real doctor, bitch, do you want them drugs or not? Renagade hits, and Reject makes his way towards the ring, to the boos of the crowd. COLE And here comes Reject, who will meet Alfdogg for the WDW World title in 17 days at AngleSlam! COACH And Alf has picked quite the poison for him here! COLE Yes indeed, our first "Pick Your Poison" match of the evening! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following contest is a Pick Your Poison match, scheduled for one fall! The rules for this match are...no different than a regular match, it's just a pretty name to glorify the upcoming WDW World title match at AngleSlam! Coming down the aisle, hailing from the Bronx, weighing in at 235 pounds...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREJECT!!!!! COLE And later on tonight, Alfdogg will face off against Thunderkid, who was Reject's hand-picked opponent! A cold, dark voice begins to speak the ungodly hymn over the loud speakers, as smoke begins to cover the entrance way. "Come on God, Answer Me. For Years, I've Been Asking You Why? Why are the Innocent Dead and the Guilty Alive? Where is Justice? Where is Punishment? . . . . . . . . . . . Or Have You Already Answered? Have You Already Said to the World, Here is Justice. Here is Punishment. Here.... In Me." The crowd pops bigtime as Brock Ausstin makes his way through the curtains and does the HAPPY HAPPY HOSS DANCE~! in the entryway. BUFFER And his opponent, hailing from Victoria, Minnesota, weighing in at 290 pounds...he is "THE CURRENT BIG THING", BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCK AUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! COLE What a great couple of matches set up here by the two men who will oppose each other at AngleSlam, Alfdogg and Reject, as Reject will look to end the near three-year reign of Alf as WDW World champion! COACH Has to be the longest current title reign in wrestling, by a long shot, Cole! Reject removes his gear, as the bell rings. *DING DING DING* Reject and Brock circle the ring, and tie up. Brock easily backs Reject into a corner, but Reject manages to turn him around, holding on until the referee backs him off. Reject then taunts Brock, before the two tie up once again. This time, Brock shoves Reject off across the ring! COLE And early on, we see the strength advantage of Brock Ausstin! COACH Reject looks surprised right now, but he shouldn't be! Go to your speed, Reject! Reject moves in again, and drives a knee to the gut of Brock, then goes to the eyes. He then lays in some kicks, before grabbing a side headlock. Brock shoves him off into the ropes, and delivers a big shoulder check, sending Reject right through the ropes and to the floor! COLE Well, he had the right idea for a while, but a side headlock's not going to work on a big guy like Brock Ausstin! The referee counts Reject as he walks around one side of the ring, and then re-enters. The two tie up once again, and again Brock backs Reject up into the ropes. However, Reject delivers a thumb to the eye, and attempts an Irish whip. Brock reverses, and floors Reject with a clothesline! COLE And it's been all Brock Ausstin in the early going! Brock picks up Reject with a two-handed chokehold! COACH Come on, referee, do something! COLE He is, he's counting! Brock drops Reject at the referee's four-count. COACH He needs to get more assertive than this! COLE Why don't you go down there and get assertive? COACH And leave you here to botch things up? No, thanks! Brock picks up Reject, and delivers a vertical suplex! COLE Nicely executed suplex by Brock Ausstin! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Brock stomps away for a while, then picks up Reject and whips him across. He puts his head down, however, and receives a kick from Reject for his troubles! COLE Cardinal mistake, and Reject capitalized! COACH We're not in St. Louis, Cole, it should be "Mariner" mistake. COLE Well, whatever kind it was, he shouldn't have done it. Reject runs behind Brock Ausstin, bouncing off the ropes, and Brock turns around just in time to catch a Reject spinning wheel kick! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Two-count... COACH Or since Brock's from Minnesota, maybe it should be "Twin mistake"? COLE Okay, I got it. COACH Or a more familiar description with Minnesota would be "Timberwolf mistake"! COLE Will you just shut up and call the damn match? Reject goes up to the top rope, and waits on Brock to get to his feet. COACH Although Brock did bury his head down, much like a Gopher... COLE Reject leaps off the top, but is caught by Brock. COLE And Reject is caught! Brock brings Reject up into a press slam position. COLE You know, The City That Never Sleeps is prone to a lot of mistakes... COACH Don't start. Brock drops Reject behind him, face-first on the mat! Brock then lets out a MIGHTY HOSS YELL, and the crowd roars in response. COLE And the fans really behind Brock Ausstin, as Reject falls flat on his face, much like Steve Francis did out in New York! COACH Brock backs Reject into a corner, and pounds him down with MASSIVE forearm shots. COLE What stiff shots from Brock Ausstin! Reject in BIG trouble! Brock whips Reject across the ring, and charges, but runs right into Reject's foot! COACH But look how quick he gets out of it, Cole! Reject stops to catch his breath, then drapes Brock over the ropes, and drives his knee in, choking Brock! The referee lays a count on, and Reject breaks at four. Reject picks Brock up, and executes a back suplex! He follows up with a snap legdrop! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Reject picks up Brock, and executes a FISHERMAN'S BUSTER~! COACH Wow, that's a big guy to put in that move, Cole! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE But Brock still fighting! Reject picks Brock up and whips him into the ropes, catching him with a SLEEPER~! Reject swings around when he catches him and ends up on his back. COACH Sleeperhold! COLE Submission applied! COACH Smart by Reject! Anyone, no matter how big, can be put to sleep, Cole! Brock wanders around grabbing for ropes, unsuccessfully. Eventually, Brock sinks to his knees. COLE And indeed, Brock looks to be fading! Reject jerks to the side, trying to bring Brock to the mat with him, and does. Brock flails his arms around, but eventually they go the the canvas, as well. The referee lifts one of them... ONE!!! TWO!!! ...but Brock keeps it up on the third lift! He turns his hand into a fist, and starts shaking it, as the crowd urges him on! COLE And the crowd trying to get some adrenaline flowing inside of Brock Ausstin, as he's coming to his feet! Brock gets on one knee, then gets to his feet, driving an elbow in! And a second! And a third, breaking the hold! Brock whips Reject to the ropes, but Reject ducks a clothesline, then ducks a second one, before they clothesline each other! COLE Double clothesline, and both men down! Both men lay motionless on the mat, as the referee counts... 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! Both men start to stir, then turn to their sides, stopping the count. As Brock gets to all fours, Reject is on his feet, and picks Brock up. He sets up a suplex, but Brock counters into a small package! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE So close for Brock Ausstin! Reject quickly gets to his feet, and delivers a seated dropkick! COLE And again, Reject quickly back on the offense! Reject then drags Brock into a corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! However, this one seems to have no effect on Brock! COLE I think Brock's waking up now! Reject delivers a third CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Brock takes his arms off the ropes, and takes a couple steps forward, but Reject thumbs him in the eye. He then scoops him up, and drops him throat-first on the top rope! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Brock gets his foot on the rope! Reject picks up Brock, bringing him to the middle of the ring, and delivers a backbreaker! He then scales the ropes... COLE Could see that big elbowdrop from Reject here! Reject comes off the top with a BIG ELBOW~! Cover... 1... 2... NO!!! Shoulder up! COLE Wow, how close was that? Reject argues the count with the referee, then picks up Brock once again. He lifts him in suplex position, then sets him on the top rope, and follows him up. COLE And Reject going for a big move now... Reject goes for a HURRICANRANA...but Brock blocks, then holds him as he climbs down to the mat, brings him back up, and delivers a sitout powerbomb! COLE What a show of strength by Brock Ausstin, and the tide may have turned again here... COACH Yeah, but Brock's still out of it, too, look at him! Brock lays for a few seconds, then gets to his feet, huffs and puffs, then lets out a MIGHTY HOSS YELL~! COLE Oh, no he's not! COACH Uh-oh... Brock measures Reject, and delivers a BIG clothesline! He measures again, and delivers a second! He then grabs Reject, and takes him over with a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Reject gets a shoulder up! COLE So, so close! Brock picks up Reject, and executes a T-BONE SUPLEX~! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! Brock whips Reject into the ropes, and catches him with a POWERSLAM~! He then signals for the end! COLE And Brock says this one's about to be over! Brock picks Reject up on his shoulders for the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111...but is too close to the ropes, and Reject is able to slide to the apron, then reaches behind him with his right arm and grabs Brock around the neck, dropping to the floor and guillotining him on the top rope! COACH Look at that move! COLE Very clever, smart move on the part of Reject, escaping defeat right there! Reject climbs back onto the apron, and slings in with a GUILLOTINE LEG DROP~! Reject then waits for Brock to get to his feet... COACH Uh-oh, could be time for the EULOGY~! Brock finally gets to his feet, and Reject goes for the EULOGY~!!!!!11111...but Brock shoves him off, right into the referee! COLE Brock counters, but now there's no referee! Brock waits for Reject to back up, and locks him in the KATAHAJIME~!!!!!11111 COLE Brock's got the KATAHAJIME hooked! This is it for Reject! Brock quickly hooks a bodyscissors and drops to the mat. COLE Reject is nowhere near the ropes! COACH But again, no referee! At this point, the Burrough Boys rush through the curtains! COLE Here come the Burrough Boys! Waldo jumps off the top rope, but is caught by Brock! When Luther slides through the ropes, Brock tosses Waldo right onto him! Brock then catches Mariano with a belly-to-belly! COACH And I can't believe Brock's taking on all these guys by himself! However, Quincy catches him from behind with a dropkick to the knee! COLE Well, he was! Quincy then picks up Brock, and executes the TANOOKI SUIT~!!! COLE And now the Tanooki Suit by Quincy! Luther, Waldo, and Mariano get to their feet, and all four men start stomping away on Brock! COLE And now it's a 4-on-1, maybe a 5-on-1 if Reject can get to his feet! Suddenly, Alfdogg runs to the ring! COACH Look at this! COLE And now the champ sliding in! The Burrough Boys stare for a minute, then Luther charges, and Alf catches him with a T-BONE SUPLEX, taking him right over the top rope! COACH He's helping Brock Ausstin! COLE He just wants Reject to lose this match! Alf ducks a clothesline from Mariano, and drills him with a SUPERKICK~! As Mariano rolls out, Alf sends Waldo to the mat with a Hart Attack clothesline, then whips Quincy into the ropes and catches him with a AA SPINEBUSTER~! Alf then heads to the top rope. COACH Can you believe this, Cole? Brock tosses Quincy to the floor with a PRESS SLAM on top of Luther and Mariano, as Alf flies onto Waldo with the FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH~!!!!!11111 COLE And the Five-Star Alf Splash onto Waldo! Alf turns around, and Brock scoops him up, delivering the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111 COACH What's up with Brock? Alf comes down here and helps him fight off the Burrough Boys, and then he attacks Alf? Brock stares at Alf briefly, then turns around...right into the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 from Reject! COLE EULOGY~! COACH He got it! Reject shoves Alf out of the ring, then covers Brock, as the referee comes to... 1... 2... 3!!! COACH YES! *DING DING DING* COLE And Reject picks up the win! BUFFER The winner of the match...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREJECT!!!!! Reject rolls out of the ring, and walks groggily towards the back with his hand raised triumphantly. COLE So Reject had the vaccine for Alf's poison, later on Alf will take on Thunderkid, will it be the same story there? Let's go to... COMMERCIAL BREAK

Backstage, the Nerdly clan is all smiles as they gather around Gene at the interview location. OKERLUND August 9th, 2007 is shaping up to be one of the most eventful nights in OAOAST history. The big news of course, NEW 6-man tag team champions of the world, Leon Rodez and D*LUX, as the OAOVW trio Los Ninos Anorexic, downing the Beverly Hills Blonds and CPA moments ago. Last week, however, the talk at water coolers across the country was about the return of my guests this evening, along with their sister Melody, former OAOAST tag team champions, The Marv and Hell Mel, the Sk8ter Boiz! OKERLUND There’s a sight for sore eyes, a smiling Melody Nerdly. Great to see that again. I know the past few months have been very difficult for you, but I get the feeling you and your brothers’ plan on changing that. MELODY You got it, dude! It’s time to turn the tables and make life difficult for other people, particularly the Heavenly Rockers. They got a taste of their own medicine last week and I bet it wasn’t so fun, was it Synth and Logan? Nuh-uh. MARV Gene, you been in the sport long enough to know how grueling it can be on a person both mentally and physically. There’s no off-season. If you find yourself on vacation it’s either because you’re injured or fired. Thankfully neither applied to us. Our star burned so bright and flamed out quickly; we just needed to get away from it all. So we’ve been out riding the waves and pursuing another passion of ours, skateboarding. But we couldn’t stay on the sidelines and watch the Heavenly Rockers bully our sister any longer. You wanna put your hands on a Nerdly, Heavenly Rockers, why don’t you try The Marv and Hell Mel? Give us a couple weeks to get in ring shape and we’ll gladly face you at AngleSlam. Whaddya say Heavenly Rockers? Both sides have frustrations to vent. Let’s blow off some steam together. OKERLUND My word! The Sk8ter Boiz vs. the Heavenly Rockers at AngleSlam?! MEL All the fun in the sun has recharged our batteries and we couldn’t think of a better time to come back than at the hottest event of the summer. Heavenly Rockers, brace yourselves. At AngleSlam we’re gonna RAWK~ your world! OKERLUND Sk8ter Boiz and Melody, thank you very much for your ti-- MELODY (slaps forehead) Silly me. I almost forgot about the surprise. OKERLUND Surprise? MELODY Mmm-hm. Should the Heavenly Rockers choose to accept our challenge for AngleSlam, in addition to me there will be somebody else in our corner Sunday night, August 26th. A person who understands how Synth and Logan operate. Now here’s the part where I pause for dramatic effect. OKERLUND The suspense is killing me. MELODY Well, this person is known affectionately as the “Angel of Death.” OKERLUND No way. MELODY Way! My BFF…HOLLY-WOOD!! OKERLUND Holly enters the picture and receives a big hug from Melody. Hoping for the same, it’s only a handshake for the Boiz. HOLLY Hiya, Logan. Miss me, sweetheart, or just my ass? Either way, you will get to see me again on the 26th of August at AngleSlam. Only I’ll be next to Melody in the corner of the Sk8ter Boiz. Maybe following the match we can all go out for a bite to eat. No, wait, I’m sorry. You’ll only be able to eat out of a straw once The Marv and Hell Mel get done kicking their feet down your stinkin’ throats! MELODY Holly leaves with Melody and the Boiz. OKERLUND That’ll do it from here. But what a bombshell. Holly-Wood, the wife of Logan Usher Mann, has agreed to be in the corner of the Sk8ter Boiz during their match against the Heavenly Rockers at AngleSlam. Now it’s up to Synth and Logan to accept the challenge. If history is any indication, then they will do just that. The night just keeps getting wilder by the minute! Back to you, guys! COLE Thanks, Gene. Boy those Nerdly kids are something aren't they? COACH Oh, yeah, and that something is dead if The Rockers get a hold of them. COLE I don't know if I agree with that assessment, because The Rockers sure didn't seem much of a match for Marv and Mel last week! But, we'll have to put this debate on hold for now. Folks, our camera crew followed Krista Isadora Duncan around her hometown of Los Angeles this past Tuesday, for the simple reason that our camera crew, like pretty much everyone else is completely obsessed with Krista. Thankfully, their creepy perversions yielded an interesting meeting between her and her lawyer. Take a look. RECORDED TUESDAY AUGUST SEVENTH IN SANTA MONICA, CALIFORNIA The setting is a stunningly decorated legal office, outfitted with various fueng shei friendly items, such as 24 karat gold statues of protective dogs, mammoth crystal ball waterfalls to generate a sense of peace, whimsical wind chimes, and crystals of various colors and sizes. Sitting behind a desk is high powered (and high priced) lawyer LENORA AVALON. The forty seven year old's grey hair is kept short, topping out into soft spikes. Her tall figure stretches through a black business suit, and her perpetually stern face pours over contracts and a laptop computer screen. Across from her is her famous client, KRISTA ISAODRA DUNCAN. Outfitted in black workout pants, a white tank top, and large rimed sunglasses that rest atop her ponytailed blond hair, Krista leans against the desk, looking bored out of her mind. LENORA AVALON Looking over your OAOAST contract.... KRISTA That's written in crayon on the back of a Denny's menu. LENORA Yes, looking over your OAOAST contract that's written in crayon on the back of a Denny's menu, you and Alix are due a tag title rematch whenever you want. It's really only a matter of finalizing the desired date with the company. But, is this something you really want to do? KRISTA (confused) Why wouldn't I want to do it? LENORA Well, as your lawyer and your friend... KRISTA You're not my friend. LENORA As your lawyer, I am telling you that you have a golden opportunity to just walk away. This is a little different then just ripping off the clothes of two hotties. Lenora pushes the papers aside and increases the seriousness in her deep voice. LENORA Look, Krista, the Moneymaker family exists solely to dominate and control. You ask why they can't understand the way we are? Its because they have no desire to understand. They want to overpower, and overrunn everything they deem undesirable. And if they can't dominate you, they'll destroy you. You'll have your little victories here and there. That's only because they let you have them. In the end your minor achievements mean nothing, because the Moneymaker family consumes what it wants, and destroys what it doesn't. I'm glad you want to fight the fight for gay rights, but don't fight it with a Moneymaker. If not for you or for Alix then at least for poor Maya's sake. Just walk away. KRISTA Absolutely not! Moneymaker has done everything in his power to make our lives an unbearable hell. Although everything in his power seems to be limited to putting us in matches with guys who's roid shrunken testicles are smaller then my chances of passing a sobriety test, it's still pretty annoying! And his homophobic bullshit has crossed so many lines that even Skid Row's Sebastien Bach of “AIDS: KILLS FAGS DEAD” t-shirt fame, might step back and say “Woah, dude, the homophobia here is getting a little much. EIGHTEEN AND LIFE YOU GOT IT! EIGHTEEN AND LIFE YOU KNOOOOW!” As the leading members of the lesbian sports entertainment community, and the only members of the lesbian sports entertainment community, we can't leave Moneymaker's crap unchecked. LENORA Krista.... KRISTA No, Lenora! Just because we like pussy, doesn't mean we have to act like ones! The LGBT community just can't keep letting itself get bullied by every segment of society. No one is going to protect us but us! Not the media, not religion, and definitely not politicians. There is not a politician alive who wouldn't throw us under the bus for a few extra votes. In case you haven't noticed, we're on our own. LENORA Krista, listen... KRISTA No, you listen! I don't care how powerful, how rich, or how strong you think Moneymaker is. As long as it doesn't conflict with reruns of America's Next Top Model, I will always, always, always be there to battle him and anyone else who tries to steal our freedom to love. Lenora seems to resign herself to the fact that she'll never be able to reason with the forever stubborn woman. It's with a downhearted sigh that she returns her focus to the contracts she had been trying to whisk away. LENORA Well, while I patiently await for you to come to your senses, I suppose the least I can do is get you a date for your title match. (Lenora begins sifting through computer files) So, changing the subject a bit, Alix doesn't care that your ex-girlfriend, who happens to be your first ever girlfriend, is also your handsomely paid lawyer? Krista is surprised at this suggestion, because being in some kind of weird ex/friend twilight zone bond with all your exes is one of the joys of a homosexual relationship. KRISTA Why should she? I like to keep all my exes in one tight close knit group, makes it easier to have 'em killed if they're ever called as a witness to the prosecution. I dated my hairdresser for a few months, my publicist for at least four, my psychic was only for a couple weeks, it's pretty hard to down shots of Tequila when you've got “I see a DUI in your future” being whispered in your ear every ten seconds. Hey, I even hooked up with my therapist for a bit. LENORA One never knows how deranged Krista's psyche is until they're required to sleep with her. KRISTA I never heard you complaining. LENORA That's because I had a sock duct taped to my mouth. KRISTA Oh, such romantic memories. I do sort of wish I had waited for the coroner's official pronouncement of your death before I called your parents. Your dad was due for a heart attack, anyway. Having an affair requires a lot of work, a lot of organization, and a decent memory that I definitely don't have. I mean, I tell Maya to go get me something, and I can't even remember the name of what I want, “you know the tiny white glass thing, you plug into the watchmacallit, and the room gets all bright and stuff” and it just devolves into this humiliating game of early onset Alzheimer charades. LENORA Krista, before you continue one of your trademark rants, I should remind you that you're being charged by the hour. KRISTA I'll shut up. LENORA First time for everything. How is Alix by the way? KRISTA Younger, skinnier, and prettier, then you ever were. Realizing that Krista only insults because she loves, Lenora ignores the slander. LENORA Yes, yes, I saw that and a lot more on your Syndicated show. Thank god for Tivo. You know, you're incredibly lucky to have someone so wonderful as her. She's such a precious sweetheart. KRISTA I've known her for twelve years, and everyday I love her more and more. Whenever she's around the world seems like such a perfect place. It's like my life doesn't feel such a waste, because everything I do revolves around her. I couldn't live without her. LENORA And I bet she's never heard those sweet little words come out your lips. KRISTA (arrogantly) Why the hell should she? She should just know. LENORA Why the hell should she? She should just know? If you didn't have breasts the size of Jupiter I'd swear you were a man. If you truly love her, you'll stop hurting her with your ice cold attitude, and tell her that you'll love her till the end of time. Otherwise, she'll smarten up and find someone who will show her that little something called affection, and you'll be just another lonely lesbian striking out at Friday night speed dating like the rest of us. Krista scoffs at this suggestion, because one would have to be dead, dumb or a gay male to not want to be with her. KRISTA Yeah, I don't see that happening. LENORA Then get glasses. Ugh. Regardless, I'll take care of your title rematch, don't worry. And even if I think it's horrible idea, you and Alix still have mine and the entire community's support behind you. Now, don't you have an AA meeting to get to? KRISTA (excitedly) You got me a not guilty verdict! Remember? LENORA Sometimes I wish I wasn't such a good lawyer. We leave with Lenora shaking her head at her enabling of Krista's rampant alcoholism. COMING UP NEXT Pick Your Poison! NEXT

As we return to HeldDOWN~!, a wide shot of the ring captures the 6-Man Tag Team Champions as they continue to warm up for their big title defence. Mackenzie, Molly and Jade all watch on from the outside as meanwhile, Theodore Moneymaker has joined the announce team at Sofa Central. Christian Wright is there too but thankfully for those of us without Harvard degrees (raises hand), he doesn't have a headset. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this contest one fall with a 30 minute time limit and it is for the OAOAST World 6-Man Tag Team Championships! In the ring, the reigning OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions. Representing THE ENTERPRISE, the team of NED BLANCHARD and SIMON SINGLETON, THE BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS... and, their partner, CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN, C... P... A!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BUFFER And, the opponents... It's at this point that Ned Blanchard steps forward and hands Michael Buffer a cuecard. The world's most famous announcer looks confused, as sound the crowd as some generic Latin music begins to play. And instead of the venegeful challengers we had expected, through the sliding doors walk three masked man in full bodysuits. One in blue, one in red and the final one in bright green. COLE What the... BUFFER Hailing from The Priory rehab clinic in Hollywood, U.S.A... total combined weight, 'medically insufficient'... please welcome, LOS NINOS ANOREXICO!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The gracious champs applaud their challengers as they walk slowly to the ring. COLE What is this!? Theodore Moneymaker, you said this would be a rematch for the World 6-Man Tag Titles! With all due respect to Los Ninos Anorexico, a trio of talent currently competing in our developmental territory, they are no Leon Rodez and D*LUX. MONEYMAKER Who ever said they would be? You’re the one who jumped to conclusions, Cole. The Enterprise promised a return bout and we delivered. From the OAOVW's Summer Blast event, Los Ninos Anorexico vs. The Beverly Hills Blonds and CPA. Rodez and D*LUX had their opportunity and blew it, just like COD did last week. It’s time new blood got a crack at both the 6-Man and One & Only Tag Titles. COLE So what you're saying is, and correct me if I'm wrong here, you're DUCKING not just Leon Rodez and D*LUX but COD as well? MONEYMAKER Michael Cole, you're one phone call to the president of TSM from being replaced on HeldDOWN~! Los Ninos Anerexico enter the ring and warmly shake hands with the welcoming Beverly Hills Blonds. Simon seems a little surprised at the firmness of the handshake he gets from Red Nino, pointing out his opponent doesn't look that 'anorexico' but Ned brushes off his concerns, telling him it's "just a gimmick, dummy". In the background, CPA just cracks his knuckles. COLE At least somebody is taking this seriously. After a consultation, it's Green Nino to start up against Ned Blanchard. *DINGDINGDING!* Drawing his challenger in, Ned stops short of a lock-up... to offer his opponent another handshake. He accepts before they circle again, with Ned this time looking up with the Green Nino. A brief tussle ensues before Ned throws Green Nino down, turning to his corner and 'catching his breath' as he warns his partners about how much of a challenge that just was. MONEYMAKER Great strength from Ned! Don't just the book by it's cover gentlemen, these three challengers are truly hungry competitors. Once he's worked out the kinks from that last exchange, Ned locks up with Green Nino again. Ned grabs a side headlock this time, takes Green Nino over and tries to pin his opponent down. Green Nino reaches his legs up and grabs a headscissors to free himself, only for Ned to escape with a lazy kip-up. The not-so athletic move doesn't impress the crowd, who boo Blanchard as he STRUTS over to his corner. Tag is made to Simon, who leaps into the ring, ready to lock it up with the Blue Nino. MONEYMAKER The kid in the blue doesn't look too eager to go toe to toe with Simon Singleton guys. This is a big opportunity for these kids. Infact, they were so nervous about this high profile match, I actually caught them throwing up in the bathroom earlier! BWAHAHA! COACH HAHA! Brilliant Mr. Moneymaker, brilliant! See, because they're Los Ninos Anorexi... COLE I got it, yes. Simon and Blue Nino draw into a greco-roman knucklelock and pull each other chest to chest for a test of strength. The two men are actually pretty evenly matched in height but Singleton has the power edge as he begins to lean Blue Nino backwards. Blue Nino shows great neck strength as he bridges to keep his shoulder off the canvas. However, he gets pulled back upright by Simon, who swings behind into a hammerlock. Reaching around for an escape, Blue Nino eventually settles for taking Simon's leg out with a drop toehold. He floats over into a side headlock, but Singleton climbs up quickly to his feet, executing a back suplex on the Anorexico! COLE Well, the challengers look fundamentally sound at least. But they're in there with multi-tag team champions. Cover by Simon... 1... 2... No! Bringing Blue Nino up, Simon hooks up his challenger for a suplex. And with Molly Nerdly catches all this intently on the Siclopse he takes Blue Nino up, leaving him hanging for a second to give his intern extra time to find the right camera angle before he drops him. Floatover, cover... 1... 2... No! Blue Nino sits up in search of his corner. He gets trapped in a rear chinlock though. MONEYMAKER Look at this. Great wrestling, great competition, great sportsmanship. This is the kind of match The Enterprise should be involved in, which we're simply unable to while dealing with miscreants like Leon Rodez and Chicks Over Dicks. Such is his comfort in this hold, Singleton is able to relay directorial input to Molly while he grinds away on the chinlock. Blue Nino begins to fight though. And suddenly he bridges up, grabbing the Blond locks of Singleton and sitting out with a Jawbreaker! COLE Woah! Simon staggers around, but still finds time to mark that up as a cut-scene to Molly, even as Blue Nino comes up behind him to execute a bulldog! Quickly, Blue Nino makes a cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Almost an upset right there! Wringing out the arm of Singleton, Blue Nino tags back in Green Nino. Green Nino heads up top and comes down across the arm with an axehandle before taking over the possession of the arm. Which puts an end to the fair competition in a hurry, Simon going to the gut with a knee and measuring Green Nino for a hard right hand! Green Nino rolls through as in rushes Singleton, looking for a big clothesline. He swings high and wide however as Green Nino zips behind to execute a schoolboy roll-up... 1... 2... No! Slowly but surely, the smiling faces of The Enterprise are growing pale. Lucky then that Singleton lands a quick knee to cut of Green Nino's exuberance before any more damage can be done. COLE Mister Moneymaker, you've gone awfully quiet. MONEYMAKER Dignified silence. Pity you can't follow my lead. Tagging in, Ned Blanchard quickly takes up a hold on Green Nino, throwing him into a neutral corner. The Handsome Hustler then takes a moment to thank the big man upstairs for making him so great before he follows in... to a raised knee! Stumbling backwards, Blanchard reaches out and just as soon as he came in, out he goes, with CPA tagging in. Green Nino meanwhile tags in the Red Nino as our fresh men enter. COACH Business is about to pick up! Indeed it is. Not because of CPA you understand. As the bigman marches across the ring, up to the top rope springboards Red Nino, SOARING with a majestic Crossbody to wipe him out! Red Nino then mounts CPA, peppering him with wild right hands as all around look on in shock! COACH Uh, Teddy? COLE This Anorexico is no lightweight! After a couple of exchanged looks, Ned and Simon eventually realise they have to do something and rush into the ring. Simon gets into the fray first, but he leaves it first too, as Red Nino jumps up and guides him up and over the top, to the floor! Lagging behind, Ned gets caught with a boot and thrown outside too. As CPA gets back up, Red Nino then measures him and connects with a jab. And another jab. And another. And another Hang on. This looks kinda familiar. 'Red Nino' turns to the outside and brings the crowd to their feet, as he blows a kiss towards Theodore Moneymaker. And the CEO of The Enteprise almost collapses off the Sofa as 'Red Nino' connects with the Enziguri on CPA, knocking the bigman down, falling throat-first across the middle rope! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" MONEYMAKER No... no no no, you... tell me this isn't what I think it is! TELL ME! The previously disappointed Seattle crowd are now on their feet, as 'Red Nino' pulls off a strangely recognisable JIG~! before hitting the ropes, shooting back and driving the weight into the spine! COLE CALL THAT BITCH BOJANGLES... As Moneymaker rises from his seat, 'Red Nino' stays sat on CPA's lower back, reaching up and pulling off his mask... TO REVEAL THE SMILING FACE OF LEON RODEZ!!! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE ...AND CALL THAT BITCH LEON RODEZ!! OH YEAH, WE'VE GOT A SIX-MAN TITLE MATCH ON OUR HANDS NOW!! MONEYMAKER NO! This isn't how it's supposed to happen! Simon Singleton slides back into the ring... making it only halfway before his ankles are caught, SHAYNE BRAVE and TYLER BRYANT pulling him outside and peppering him with blue and green gloves to the face! Meanwhile, off the ropes comes Leon again. This time he lands with a dropkick to the back of CPA, the ring rope he was leant against bouncing him back and towards the centre of the ring. Quickly, Leon barges into the bigman, forcing him out through the ropes and to the floor. He then wheels around to find Ned Blanchard rolled into the ring by D*LUX, looking up and freezing in shock! COLE Aw yeah! Despairing, Ned tries to beg off. But his prayers go unanswered as Leon boots him in the gut, lifting him into the corner and... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...connecting with a knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...again! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...third time! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...four! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...five! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...six times! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...SEVEN?! COLE Leon Rodez is chopping the hide off of Blanchard's chest! He's been waiting seemingly a lifetime for this! Weeping, Blanchard pleads for some mercy as Leon finally stops with the chops. He whips Ned out of the corner, waiting for him to nestle in the opposite turnbuckles before rushing after him. Taking off in mid-ring, Leon propels himself towards The Handsome Hustler's gut with the SUPERMAN SPEAR!! He then deadlifts Ned, dropping him by the turnbuckles with a sidewalk slam and heading to the top rope! MONEYMAKER Why is this match still going!? This is supposed to be Los Ninos something or other. THESE ARE NOT LOS NINOS SOMETHING OR OTHER DAMNIT!! Finally taking action on behalf of his corporation, Christian Wright vacates his seat and starts to make a beeline for Leon. However, Leon spots him and reacts quickly to re-adjust on the turnbuckles, taking off AND FLYING OVER THE CROWD OF VALETS IN THE ENTERPRISE'S CORNER TO TAKE OUT CW WITH A CROSSBODY TO THE OUTSIDE!!!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Quickly covering for their partner, D*LUX enter the ring, having taken out Singleton with a DOUBLE SUPERKICK! Blanchard is on his way up and D*LUX stalk behind him, waiting as he turns around and meeting him with two boots to the gut. Taking an arm and a leg each, Shayne and Tyler lift The Handsome Hustler up and drop him across the knees with the Double Gutbuster! COLE COWELL MOVEMENT! Down to one knee goes Ned, setting him up for the SHINING ENZIGURI from Tyler!! *SMACK!* Blanchard slumps over as Leon re-emerges and heads up top again. Quickly Shayne and Tyler take off in opposite directions. Tyler rushes to knock Singleton off the apron, while Shayne WIPES OUT CPA WITH A SUICIDE DIVE!! All this as Leon sets himself up top for the 450 SPLASH!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE COVER!! 1... 2... 3!!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE WE'VE GOT NEW CHAMPIONS!! COACH NOOOOO!! Mouth agape, Moneymaker holds his head in his hands as D*LUX re-unite in the ring and celebrate with a boyband embrace! Leon pushes up to his knees over Blanchard, looking down at The Handsome Hustler and showing off those pearly whites that have been absent from the OAOAST for so long now. BUFFER Your winners of the match... and the NEEEWWW OAOAST World 6-Man Tag Team Champions... LOS NIN... uhm, D*LUX and LLLEEEEEOOOOOONN RRROOOOOOOODDEEEEEEEEZZZZZZ!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The 6-Man Titles are handed to the new champions, to the despair of Mackenzie and Molly, the surprise of Jade and the utter outrage of Theodore Moneymaker. D*LUX take their belts and go to their fans to celebrate, while Leon grabs his third of the gold and leans over the ring ropes, dangling it in the eyeline of The Billion Dollar Heir! MONEYMAKER This is bull! Absolute bull, we didn't sign for a match with Leon Rodez and D*LUX! COLE And Chicks Over Dicks didn't sign up for Scramble Cage expecting you and your partner to gatecrash right at the end, but hey, what can you do? MONEYMAKER Don't start with me Michael Cole! Somewhere in this arena, there are three malnurished men laying in pools of their own blood, mugged by these opportunistic nickel and dimers! This should NOT stand! This is preposterous! Prepostoterous I say! You haven't heard the last of this, guaranteed! COLE Hey, don't you have a One And Only Tag Title defence later on? If I were you Mister Moneymaker, I'd be reviewing my plans for the evening! MONEYMAKER .....my God you're right. Dropping his headset, the seething Billion Dollar Heir rounds up his troops. CPA looks ready to go back in for more but Moneymaker tells his cohorts that they're done for the night, looking horror-stricken as he tries to rush the group to the back. Blanchard has to be helped back by Simon, Wright not looking too steady either, The Enterprise looking on as D*LUX and Leon continue to revel in their victory. COLE What a start to HeldDOWN~! We've got new OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Titles as The Enterprise just got 'trumped'. And let's not forget, Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright, defending their titles later on tonight. The Enterprise came in with all the gold, they may leave with none by the night is over! Unbelievable! COACH You've got that right. We fade in on a shot of the New York City skyline as the sun sets. Mellow music plays. We then see rapid fire shots of various New York City landmarks: the Brooklyn Bridge, Times Square, the Empire State Building, Grand Central Station, the Statue Of Liberty, Central Park. The World's Most Famous Arena. Cut to a shot of Madison Square Garden. The World's Greatest City. Cut to a shot of the New York City skyline at night. The biggest event of the summer. Cut to the OAOAST AngleSlam 2007 logo. Triumphant music plays. OAOAST ANGLESLAM LIVE FROM MADISON SQUARE GARDEN NEW YORK, NEW YORK THREE WEEKS AWAY! NOT VINCE McMAHON, BUT A VERY CLOSE SOUNDALIKE ANGLESLAM 2007! THE SINGLE GREATEST ANGLESLAM OF ALL-TIME!!! Fireworks explode. We fade out. COMMERCIAL BREAK

perhaps we can finally achieve that coveted zero segment show!

CREDITS gee i wonder? anyway, let's lol at the pirates because man do they suk I mean seriously, really watch that video. fuk do the pirates suck this really puts in persecptive

FUCK HELDOWN! It's the Patty O'Green and KC show! Let’s have a party with Charlie Brown Patty and Snoopy KC, We can go dancing with Linus and Lucy. Put on a smile and stay for a while, Come on let’s dance around with Charlie Brown Patty and Snoopy KC. Woodstock'll whistle, Sally will be singing, Marcie and Peppermint Patty will be swinging. Kick up your feet, in time with the beat, Come on let’s dance around with Charlie Brown Patty and Snoopy KC Now we've got the beat, Get up and dance those happy feet, We're dancing, dancing, dancing, dancing, With Snoopy KC's happy feet. Freda and Franklin, even little Rerun, Bounce back with Snoopy, everybody's having fun. Let's not go home yet, if we stick around, Maybe that red-haired girl will come and dance with Charlie Brown Patty! The state of the art introductory video plays, letting viewers across the globe know that is is time for their fill of fantastic OAOAST action. After it finishes the view moves to the less then state of the art announce team. COLE Ladies and gentlemen welcome to OAOAST HeldDOWN! I am Michael Cole joined as always by the Coach. We saw one hell of a show this past weekend in London, England with James Riggs besting Colombian Heat, Reject winning the WDW battle royal, The Enterprise retaining their six man titles, Alix and Krista victorious over Jade and Mackenzie- COACH Ass and tities, ass and tities! Man, I loved seeing those babes work it! I've watched that one every day this week! And I can not get enough. COLE Oh, I bet your not the only one! And in our mainevent Todd Cortez joined forces with Zack Malibu to beat Landon Maddix and PRL. Unfortunately the trip was not met without incident, many of our superstars were detained overseas in connection with drug charges leveled against environmental activist Biff Atlas. While it turns out the drugs were just organic powdered goat's milk, it wreaked havoc on our schedule, and many of our superstars, and most of our production department, couldn't be here tonight. Conveniently everyone involved in the scramble match managed to escape police custody. COACH Thank god for that! Because this match is going to be off the chain! Seven teams vying to be recognized as the One and Only World Tag Team champions. That is hot! COLE Did you say seven teams? I thought it was six. COACH Get your head in the game, Cole. We have a late entry into the match! COLE Who is it? One And Only World Tag Team Title Scramble Cage Match Profile Brought to you by The Hills - The Complete Second Season on DVD Name: The Global Party Exchange Members: Johnny Jackson & Scotty Static From: Scotty-Atlanta, Johnny-Detroit Finisher:Designated Driver Career Highlights:Two time OAOAST tag team champions COLE Woah! A team who helped blazed the trail in the tag division, gets a chance to blaze a new one! I know I speak for a lot of people when I say I look forward to seeing them tonight. .:CUE: "Oh No", Mos Def, Nate Dogg, and Pharoah Monche:. The Minneapolis crowd seem unsure how to react for a second, before settling on 'predominantly cheers' for The Urban Legend, Todd Cortez! Cortez seems a little surprised at the sudden respect shown to him by the people as he walks to the ring. His pyro goes off behind him, but he's long since passed it and jogs up the ring steps. COLE Here comes the man who five nights ago shook up the already intriguing World Title picture at OAOAST Syndicated. For those of you who missed it, a shocking turn of events. Zack Malibu named this man as his tag team partner against Landon Maddix and Tha Puerto Rican. And not only did Cortez accept, he PINNED the World Champion dead centre in the middle of the ring! COACH Well, I'm sure Landon will explain that in due time but it looks like Todd's got a mic. COLE Which, in itself, is a rarity. Cortez stands in the middle of the ring with the microphone, waiting for his music to cut. Once it does the crowd's reaction hits him again. Certainly not 100% positive but 100% interested. CORTEZ You know, I don't do this often. I like to think I'm a man of action, not a man of words. And my actions spoke louder than words Saturday night, when I accepted the proposal Zack Malibu gave me to be his tag team partner for the night. "YYYAAAAAAYYY!" cheer Zack's legions of fans. CORTEZ Nobody saw it coming. Definately not me. If you'd have told me I'd be teaming WITH Malibu, against Landon, when I got off the plane in London I'd have called you crazy. But you see, whether I like Zack Malibu or I don't... hell, whether I even respect him or I don't... what he said when I came to the ring made a lot of sense. He gave me some home truths. Home truths I needed to hear for a while now. For the past few months, my role in the OAOAST has pretty much been the right-hand man to Landon Maddix. "BOOOOOOOOOOO!" for the mere mention of Landon's name. CORTEZ When he came into the OAOAST, he joined up with me and the rest of The Wildcards. And even back then I had my reservations, because after a couple of years of dealing with him in the SWF, nobody knew Landon better than me. But at the time, it was an issue of strength in numbers. We took Landon in. And sure enough, just as I expected, he systematically took the spotlight out of the sky and made sure it was shone on him and him alone. Been there, done that. We were SWF Tag Team Champions together. Nobody knows just how egotistical and self-centered Landon Maddix is quite like me. And yet, here I was as late as a matter of days ago, still tagging along in the dimmly-lit background. Cortez begins to pace around a little. CORTEZ Landon, you used me for your own well-being. You used me as if nothing ever happened between us... and, I let you. Well, Malibu did open eyes. And he was right, I do deserve better than that. See, it occured to me the moment Zack started talking, that look on your face, it told me everything I needed to know about you. That look told me just WHY, after all the water that's passed under the bridge between the two of us, you were willing to associate yourself with me even when that spotlight was firmly placed over your head. It wasn't loyalty. It wasn't just need for somebody to watch your back, because there's plenty of people who'd be more than willing to 'hang' with the Champ. People without a strong tension with you. No, see that look screamed one thing. FEAR. To dip into the bag of clichés for a second, "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em"... and Landon, you COULDN'T beat me in the SWF! Not man to man, one to one. I beat you at Genesis. Deep down, you realise I am your biggest threat because I know you all too well. And THAT'S why you made sure you kept me onside all this time. You know it. I know it. And the moment I SPIKED you on your head with the Riot Act Plus and the referee counted the three this past Saturday, the WORLD knew it! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" CORTEZ Landon, I never liked you. Not here, at least. Up until now, I tolerated you, not without a whole lot of self-control I should add because there have been plenty of times I wanted to punch your lights out over the past few months. But Zack made me realise, I don't need you. As of this moment, any obligation I felt I had towards you Landon, it's officially over! The only thing I want from you anymore... is a TITLE SHOT! With that, Cortez drops the mic and storms off as "Oh No" hits again. COLE Woah! COACH Somebody oughta tell him we've already got two number one contenders. Which is already one too many. COLE Well, he did pin the Champion. I say that entitles him to a shot as much as Zack and PRL are entitled. What must Landon Maddix be thinking right now, that's what I want to know! He's got challengers queuing up to take him on and now, he's got absolutely no allies watching his back! His only accomplice is now one of his hungriest challengers! The hunter has well and truly become the hunted as the race for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship continues to heat up! Folks, before we return for the scramble cage match let's meet our final two teams.

Three Titles HI-YAH Tag Team Championship, WDW Tag team Championship, OAOAST World Tag Team Championship All alike in dignity In fair Minneapolis where we lay our scene From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean From forth the fatal brawl of these seven foes The Heavenly Rockers WDW Tag Team Champions Team Heyross The Global Party Exchange HI-YAH Tag Team champions The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew D*LUX The South Central Militia OAOAST world tag team champions Chicks Over Dicks A group of star-crossed titles are unified One and Only World Tag Team Championship HeldDOWN~! August 2nd, Minneapolis, Minnesota Tag Team Scramble Cage Match to crown the first ever One and Only World Tag Team Champions. The view returns to the arena where a sold out (and ripped off) crowd is on it's feet in anticipation of the long waited unification match. The camera focuses on Micheal Buffer who begins his opening announcement BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen it is time for the seven team Scramble Cage Unification Match to determine who will be crowned the One and Only World Tag Team Champions! The rules are as follows, the match will start out with two teams, with the other five to enter at random intervals. In order to be eliminated a team must either be pinned or submitted. The last remaining team is the new One and Only World Tag Team Champions. Let's meet the first two teams! COLE I can't wait! The harsh opening of Cross That Line by Rick Ross fills the arena with a deep sense of dread. As the audience murmurs with anticipation, the formerly bright lights morph into a troubling blue hue. Convict....Convict....Convict Up front Yeah.... Convict Music While the haunting piano melody heightens the tension in the venue, scenes of The South Central Militia's special brand of havoc blaze across the Angletron, showing the alarmed fans what type of savage aggression the men who are soon to arrive are capable of. Oooooh ooooh oooooh If you ever cross that line I guarantee ya there'll be nothin' to save ya (save ya, save ya) I got a whole bunch of gorillas ready to pull the trigga And we all for that paper (paper) Comin' from a life of crime Tryna be on my best behavior You see my rep's gettin' bigger but still that same nigga bustin' shots at them haters (them haters, them haters) But only if you cross that line The colossal bass of Rick Ross' street anthem booms through the venue, heralding the arrival of the first team. The entrance doors shoot apart, and jeers rise into the air as The South Central Militia steps through a cloud of smoke to take position on the entrance ramp. Wearing a pair of flared Red Monkey Jeans, decorated by a Chinese feudal map, and a black LRG throwback track jacket, Vincent Santana throws his arms out to his side, and unleashes a feral growl into the streams of blue light that flare about him. The glowing streams spark beautifully across his sleek body as he releases his deep rooted rage upon the viewing world. His partner, wearing Artful Dodger Jeans with a blue gothic pattern on the side, and a t-shirt boasting a giant symbol of a grenade, stands in solemn menace, intimidating any unlucky enough to meet his gaze. BUFFER From the mean streets of South Central Los Angeles, they are Vincent Santana, Marcellus Wallace, the South Central Militia! The spectators welcome the end of the introduction with more disdain for these sickening goons. Quite dissimilar to many teams, who usually don't pay attention to such disrespect from the audience, the natives of South Central dish out verbal trashing to each attendee they encounter until they reach the squared circle. They dive into the ring, and ascend to opposite turnbuckle where their fists pump into the air in defiant triumph. The camera rotates around their rebellious ritual, as the chilling blue lights continue to dance along the ringside area. COLE Former tag team champions, The South Central Militia. Unlucky number one, but if anyone can overcome the odds it's these two. Now, folks, when the cage is lowered you'll see platforms on each corner, those can be used by competitors to launch any manner of high risk aerial assaults on their rivals. COACH Enough about that! Who is team two? Who is starting this match? Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend! Hey, hey, you, you! I know that you like me! No way, no way! No, it's not a secret Hey, hey, you, you!! I want to be your girlfriend! COLE Oh my! A red pyro waterfall illuminates the entrance stage, and all eyes lock onto the currently vacant entranceway. The pep rally drum beats of Girlfriend rip to life while the red waterfall is courted by a beautiful pink pyro fountain. Standing next to the gorgeous display of pyrotechnics are miniature Angletrons, showcasing COD's entrance video, a highlight reel filled with clips of their breathtaking moves, interspersed with fly through images of the City of Angels, and shots of the champions in various seductive poses. COACH Watch out for your ears, Cole! BOOOOOM!!! A violent explosion of gold pyro destroys the once docile pyrotechnics showing, and causes the capacity crowd to put forth a gargantuan cheer. As the smoke clears, Krista Isadora Duncan emerges through the hazy remnants of the fireworks. She sports a stomach exposing red Obey™ tank top that reads "Make Art. Not War" and a black open sided mini skirt that reveals her entire left leg, a show of skin that's always a crowd favorite! Her baby blue eyes cut a hole through her ring based rivals, while she strikes an alluring pose for the screaming audience. BUFFER And the champions, first, from Los Angeles, California, she is the CEO of Mrs.Spezia's sweeties, the Hollywood Bad Girl, ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! And her partner, from Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, a fitness queen, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, she is Miss California Krista Isaodra Duncan! Together they are the OAOAST world tag team champions, America's Sweethearts, Chicks Over Dicks! Amidst the resonating cries Alix Maria Spezia bounces through the entrance way in a white tie-up front tube top that's cropped all the way to the chest and white booty shorts. Although her fur wristbands, scarf, and leg warmers are fake, the excitement of the fans is very real as they watch her settle down long enough to join hands with Krista. Krista twirls Alix around, then pulls her into her arms. Alix turns over her shoulder and blows a cute kiss to the camera, leading super imposed red lips to pop on the screen. COLE Los Angeles represent tonight! Two teams born and raised in the city of angels kicking it off in the quest to become the One and Only World Tag Team Champions. Chicks Over Dicks are fresh off their win at Syndicated over Jade Rodez and Mackenzie, wearing a little bit more clothes tonight. COACH These mamis was looking good enough to eat at Syndicated! But how are they gonna survive six other teams? How are they gonna outlast Team Heryoss or The Rockers? When the girls reach the ring, Alix grabs Krista by the waist and hoists her on the apron with startling ferocity that Krista wouldn't expect from the normally submissive Alix. With her ego swelled to bursting by the unparalleled adulation of the audience, Alix coolly reclines against the apron. She feels the smoothness of Krista's legs coil around her bare stomach, and her body tingles in immediate response. While Ally stands lost within the rapture of the pleasuring touch, Krista passes a middle finger towards the battery of cameras that flash away. Finally the champions enter the ring, and the cage lowers around them. COLE Earl Hebnner and Billy Silverman have been assigned to handle this contest and they'll have their work cut out for them tonight. I don't envy them in the least! Silverman calls for the bell and the match is underway. “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” Neither team wastes any time in kicking off this epic match, as all four members dart towards the ropes. The SCM return to the center of the ring, wielding murderous lariats. Thankfully for the health of the fan favorites, they shoot beneath the approaching weapons, and continue their jog. Once they reach the cables, they use them as catapults to springboard themselves back to their foes with stereo dropkicks! Marcellus is wiped out by Alix with ease, but the quicker Santana sidesteps Krista's shot. She's able to land on her feet, but has to deal with the incoming lariat from the thug. The blond beauty rolls beneath his attack, but Whitey keeps his arm extended and floors an unaware Alix! Outraged over her partner's downfall, Krista eyes vengeance. She leaps onto the third cable, and hurls her moonsaulting figure towards her rival. While she connects perfectly with his frame, her landing is far from a happy one, as he catches her onto his scrawny shoulders. Her platform boots kick and pound his back in an effort to win freedom, but it's of little use, and he streams forward and hurls her into the steel wall. The structure vibrates mightily against the horrific impact, and soon the ring does the same as Krista's limp body plummets to the canvas. “LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!” Her body screaming in agony, KID has a monstrous time willing herself upright. Once she does, her muddled vision spots the terrible sight of a body splashing Santana. Her instinct is to immediately dive away, but her wobbly legs refuse to do such. Thus she can only emit tortured screams once Vinny's knee explodes onto her skull. COACH Dayum! These boys have come to win! Krista's battered bones sink towards the mat, and her body trembles from the shockwaves of the incredible pain. Left at the mercy of the brute, she's ripe for an early elimination, or worse yet, further beatings. Thankfully, her girlfriend heroically comes to her aid, rifling her fur covered wrist bands into Vinny's back. Though the attacks do little damage to Whitey, they accomplish her task of distracting him from Krista. Unfortunately, he now sets his feral gaze on Alix. Ally tries to appeal to him with some zen wisdom, “Now, now Vincent, anger serves his own master. Buddha be with you” Needless to say Ally's trickery doesn't meet with much success and Whitey's BAPE shoes flash out with a yakuza kick! The Hollywood Bad Girl cleverly evades the attack by handspringing backwards. Unfortunately her agile moves bring her into the clutches of One-Eye, who snares her into a wheel barrel suplex. She's foisted into the sky, where her hands instantly search for a bull dog counter. However, Whitey snuffs out that move by weaving past her curled locks, and trapping her inside an inverted 3/4th face lock. From there the duo ravages her neck with a brutal wheel barrel neckbreaker! The Minnesota crowd reacts with disgust and horror at Alix's decimation and peppers the ring with boos. Ignoring the negative fans, Wallace attempts a pinfall that's scored by referee Billy Silverman.... ONE TWO Krista miraculously destroys the count; using Santana's skinny physique as a launching pad, she soars through the skies towards an unaware Wallace. Her spiked heels impale his corn rowed head and leave him uttering howls of misery. “YEAAAAAA!” Though Alix is safe for the time being, Krissy is placed in grave danger, as the treacherous Santana descends upon her. His bony fingers weave through her sun bathed hair, and uses it as a leash to cruelly yank her upright. She's shoved between his jeaned legs, as a despicable smirk slips onto his face. Her immediate thought is to sink to hier knees, and shoot his testicles through his throat with a low blow. But by the time she actually has that thought, her million dollar body is being drug through the air by a powerbomb! Her mouth pours out a torrent of screams, as her sadistic rival crashes her back into that of her grounded girlfriend's. Alix's body bucks and thrashes and her mouth wails against the mat. She's totally powerless to control herself as the misery pushes out constant cries of terror. As if the sounds of Alix's pain weren't bad enough for KID, Vinny hoists her skywards for a second powerbomb. The collision with the mat is every bit as brutal as the previous powerbomb, and the ring earthquakes at the impact. Pleased with the damage done, Santana holds his whimpering enemy into a pinfall. ONE TWO Amazingly Krista calls upon the strength to kick out, and the crowd is thrilled as a result. One-Eye, however, is adamant that Silverman's count was unusually slow, and gives him a vulgar earful. COACH Cole, it's only a matter of time before the SCM eliminate COD! While One-Eye berates Silverman, his comrade furthers the task of annihilating the OAOAST tag champion. He traps into a double underhook, then promptly strikes her with a double arm DDT! Though the move was certainly delivered with enough power to hold Krista down for the three count, a pin doesn't appear to be forthcoming. No a top turnbuckle based One-Eye Wallace demands that more carnage by inflicted upon his rival. He eyes down her crippled bones with bestial glare, steadying himself to obliterate her with a moonsault(!). COLE Marcellus is a heck of a natural athlete, but a moonsault? He can't pull that off. Indeed he can't, due to Alix dropkicking his legs from under him! The confused gang banger sinks downwards, where his balls of steel are crushed by the steel of the turnbuckle! “YEAAAAA!” Though the audience is delighted, Santana is understandably infuriated. He locks onto Alix with another yakuza kick, but finds the elusive lass impossible to hit. Thus his boots collide perfectly with the back of his partner, leaving a deep red foot print in his coffee colored skin. As the crowd's cheers grow louder, Ally floors Whitey with a dropsault! Caught by a surge of adrenaline, Alix sings “My bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R. My bologna has a last name it's M-E-SOMETHING-SOMETHING-I'm just gonna go to the top turnbuckle now, okay?” Making good on her promise, the Los Angelenia joins the Los Angelino at the highest point of the ring ropes. Putting aside the immeasurable pain she's caused him, he rises to his feet in order to pound the perky babe with punches. However, this plays right into his plan, as she stuffs his head between her lean thighs. The murmur of anticipation for Ally's planned attack is almost deafening, and the audience can hardly contain themselves when she executes her coup de grace. She does a graceful front flip that hauls herself and One Eye off the ropes and sends them plummeting through the skies. While Alix lands on the seat of her booty shorts, Wallace is far less lucky, finding his brain reduced to mush by a top rope Burning Sensation When You Urinate! "FUCKING AWESOME! FUCKING AWESOME!" the spectators holler. COLE Not for Wallace it wasn't! Alix attempts a pin and the crowd counts along. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO But Vinny breaks up the pin with an elbow drop! The crowd is displeased with his interference, but he pays them no mind as he yanks Alix's upright by her arm. Her head is trapped within a front facelock, and before she can think of mounting an escape effort, Vinny wounds her neck with an Implant DDT! The attack stings fiercely and Alix's face contorts with pain. “SCM BTK AOK!” Vincent belts in glory above his vanquished opponent. COACH South Central Militia Born To Kill, Always Out Killing! Santana begins directing a wave of stomps towards Alix's injured neck, causing the girl to throw out tortured cries with each blow. Finally he ceases his stomping, but does so only in order to drive his elbow into her throat. Suddenly, and without warning, the countdown clock appears on screen, distracting Vincent from his slaughter of the helpless maiden. The fans are eager to count along with the logo, 5 4 3 2 1! COLE Who will it be? The answer to the million dollar question is a team who's arrogance is worth it's weight in diamonds and gold...THE MARDI GRAS HOMEWRECKING CREW. Eazy Lover fails to lull the crowd into a peaceful mood, and the first sight of the HI-YAH tag team champions is met with large round of boos. Outfitted in plain beige pants, the king of the Fro, Lucius Soul grooves out onto the stage with a toothsome smile taking hold of his face. At his side is his pornstache stroking associate, Rico De Janiero, clad in his classic Brazilian flag trunks. The suave grappler holds both belts in his hands and foists them towards the green and yellow lights that hover above. COACH This is what I'm talking about! HI-YAH tag team champions, The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew! Took those belts from D*LUX, and now they're looking to take him an even bigger pair of titles. Rico saunters down the entry way, flaunting his spray on tan towards the finest ladies the front row has to offer. Soul is another story entirely. The native of The Big Easy darts down the ramp, and begins climbing his way up the cage. Inside the ring, Santana recollects the heated confrontation his team had with the Crew, and is struck by a bolt of rage. This bolt of rage charges him up the steel meshing. Whitey and Soul's eyes meet in flaring fury, and their vulgar mouthes exchange insults as they prepare to exchange punches. Once they both reach the zenith of the structure they unleash a calvary of destructive strikes. With every landing blow their heads bob backwards, and their bodies inch dangerously close to a grizzly plummet. The crowd sits on the edge of their seats, in awe of the high octane slug fest. COLE These two are insane! Get down from there! All of a sudden the brawl is impeded, and Whitey appears to be moving further and further away from the cage. His dismayed eyes, along with the camera, pan downwards to see that he's been elevated onto the buff shoulders of Rico. While Vinny struggles to be free of this unwanted roost, Lucius makes his way onto the top of cage. Though the fans, and even his partner, appear to be in total shock at his death defying actions, Soul is a pillar of smooth calm. With one flick of his fro, the pimp sails from his post, with arm extended into a clothesline! COLE Oh my! Santana knew the move was coming, and braces himself tightly, but that does nothing to prevent the awful pain that comes from Soul's amazing lariat! All three fighters thud into the canvas, but it's only Santana with grunts of anguish. “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” The Wrecking Crew exchange exuberant high fives, acting as though that single move was enough to earn them the tag titles. They're quickly shown they have a long road to travel, when a fist swinging One Eye accosts them. Wallace holds his own against the HI-YAH champions, using his sheer power to run them ragged about the ring. Eventually, the Casanovas are able to use their numbers advantage to emerge from the sea of punches, where they paste him with elbow shots. The blows push One-Eye into the ropes, but it's not a position he holds for very long, as they whip him towards the opposite end of the ring. When he rebounds, their heads are lowered in order to impale his midsection. However, the thug counters these efforts by sending his Timbaland boot into Soul's chest. Hearing his partner crash into the canvas, causes Rico to shoot himself upright in alarm. But he fails to stage a suitable defense and is bulldozed with a lariat for his folly! “MARDI GRAS SUCKS! MARDI GRAS SUCKS!” the audience bleats. Just as soon as De Janeiro is felled, does Soul rise to his feet, continuing the war against the Militia member. Moving with ungodly speed, Soul strikes fast, lifting Wallace onto his shoulders in a standing fireman's carry. Before Wallace can even begin to fight free, “Sweet” flings him forward for the lethal Fro 2 Sleep! But in an uncharacteristic show of agility, Wallace manages to coil his arm around Soul's neck, and punish the youngster with a DDT! The staunchly anti-Mardi Gras fans greet the reversal with a round of applause. Any kindness given to the SCM by the fans is suddenly transferred to Krista Isadora Duncan, who weaves her arms around his. She puts forth a mighty bout of strength in order to twist him around, so that his helpless neck rests beneath her back. Within seconds his entire body is driven to the ground by the tremendous force of her Unprettier. The ovation from the stands is constant and huge. But there's little time for Krissy to celebrate, given that the pesky Santana has reintroduced his unwelcome presence. His head tucks beneath her arm, and his hands latch onto her rhinestone belt. He foists her up then casually impales her onto the ring cables. Though the attack isn't overly pain inducing, it's enough to have the fitness queen grimacing in discomfort. Mere moments later, Santana is struck by his own bout of discomfort as Rico begins pasting him with kicks to the gut. COLE We still have three more teams left to go, Coach. COACH Yeah, and whoever comes out last is going to have easy pickings. Santana fights back against the bevy of punches, smashing his tapped fist into Rico's nose. But the Mardi Gras' number advantage comes back into play once Soul begins firing knife edge chops into Vinny's frame. His feeble chest unable to take the punishment, Santana wilts underneath the assault, and his foes are able to easily trap into a front face lock. “SHAVE YOUR FRO! SHAVE YOUR FRO!” the fans chant to Lucius. While he demands silence from the crowd, Soul helps his comrade drag Vinny's six feet four inches into the sky. They promptly fall backwards, crushing his spine with a vertical suplex. But their damage doesn't end there; they roll through the move and punish their enemy with a second suplex! Figuring that a third time is a charm, the despised heels lift Vincent up once more. Yet instead of striking him with the pedestrian hold, they violently tilt their bodies backwards which causes Whitey's back to slam into the steel caging! As the structure wobbles unsteadily, The Wrecking Crew curse Vincent with their most powerful attack yet, a double brainbuster! COACH Woah! Even the fans can't help but be impressed by the high impact hold, and applaud the showing. Beneath the sound of their claps comes Billy Silverman counting Soul's pinfall. ONE TWO THREE! NO! SANTANA KICKS OUT COLE Folks, I'd hate to do this, but we will be back with more HD after this! COMMERICAL BREAK The mainevent returns in the middle of a fiery brawl between the Wrecking Crew and The Militia. Santana bounds off the ropes with full intention of decapitating Soul with a monstrous lariat. However his charge is clumsy and unwieldy, and thus “Sweet” is able to turn his momentum against him with a back body drop! Instead of splattering onto the beige canvas, Santana awkwardly lands within the arms of a waiting De Janiero. Those muscular pythons then thrust Whitey downwards with a powerbomb that rocks the ring! Soul leaps into the air, pumping his fist in wild celebration, as his ally attempts a pin... ONE TWO But Wallace breaks up the fall! Instantly The Wrecking Crew swarms upon the intrusive gangbanger, bruising and welting his chocolate skin with forearm smashes. COLE I'll tell you this right now, The Wrecking Crew is performing out of this world! FUCK DA WRECKING CREW. LA COUNTY MOTHERFUCKING REPRESENT! Wallace's fellow Californians, Alix and Krista, lend him a hand in dealing with the dominant HI-YAH champions. They peel Soul away from his victim, and launch him into the cables. As he nears them, their flashy footwear brings them into the skies, where their lovely legs batter the pimp with double spinning wheel kicks! “YEAAAAAA!” With his partner noticeably absent, Rico is far less equipped to deal with the enraged the brute, and actually tries to make a play for the entrance door! But Wallace affords him no chance to escape and tugs onto the seat of the pants to keep him ring bound. Wallace's escape prevention has an unfortunate (fortunate?) side effect of granting the camera a shot of Rico's hairy ass crack. COLE YES! COACH WHY? Fortunately, Wallace releases his hold on the tights so that they may return to covering the Brazilian's jungle of love. Unfortunately for Rico, Wallace promptly floors him with a polish hammer! A few inches down the ring, Soul fares no better then his co-champion, left flat on his back and under a shroud of anguish. Above him Alix tosses a cute kiss towards her girlfriend. Krissy catches it on her hand, then delicately places it on her cheek, before her bubblegum pink lips return the sweet gesture. Alix snatches the kiss into her left hand, but instead of gently attaching it to her cheek, the receiving hand darts downward, palm smacking the playa dead in the face! “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” Soul's situation soon degenerates from bad to irreparably awful, when America's sweethearts each take hold of a khaki pants leg. Their lips meet for a quick but loving kiss, that generates quite the buzz from the stands. Once their innocent show of affection is complete, their less then innocent move begins. They dip backwards, bringing a squealing Soul off the apron, and hurtling him through the air with a slingshot. His body blasts against the cage, and the steel wiring cuts brutally through his skin, decorating it with red blood marks. Suffering lines his face and he can barely stay conscious as gravity pulls him back towards the ring. But he's shocked wide awake by a spark of pain when the SoCal babes nail him a double lung blower! The fans are ecstatic with COD's display of dominance and bath them with cheers. “Westside ballas, babay, strictly pimpin!” Alix shouts, mocking Soul's playa persona. COLE Now the OAOAST champions are starting to find their groove! Elsewhere, the other half of the HI-YAH champions is starting to find that the South Central Militia are a remorselessly impossible set of opponents. Their hands snake around his neck suffocating his appeals for peace into thin gargles for mercy. “Yo, what time is it, Whitey?” Wallace asks through platinum grills. “I think it's time to put this cokehead faggot in a body bag!” “God damn right it is!” Wisely realizing that the SCM's deathly double team finisher is on the horizon, the South American produces a fantastic effort to be free of their clutches. He bucks and thrashes against their death grip, but meets with little success. Thusly he resorts to a cheap shot and sends his boots into each of their testicles. As the crowd reacts with great negativity to his actions, Rico further debilitates his rivals by slamming their faces into the turnbuckles. The once fearsome brutes are now reduced to grousing and moaning wrecks. However, their weakened state fails to convince Rico to stay within the confines of the cages, and the HI-YAH champion decides to take his long since aborted vacation. Leaving his partner to fend for himself. De Janeiro groggily stumbles through the entry door, earning a good chunk of crowd heat in the process. His strong, arrogant accent, demands that he be left alone, but his rudeness only increases their venom. That is until the countdown appears on the screen. 5 4 3 2 1 COLE We've got another one! In a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabees, there finally emerges a group which has come to set the record straight. so, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard can you say uhhh na na na na... “YEAAAAAAAA!” The peppy beats of O-Town's anthem brings the capacity crowd to it's feet in honor of the OAOAST legends. Through parting entrance doors emerges one of the most controversial tag teams of their day, The Global Party Xchange. Attired in unnervingly menacing black leather pants, the team that danced and bopped their way into two tag team title reigns, now marches with sinister expressions towards their third tag title reign. As they strode down the ramp, white and red spotlights wave across the venue, making the arena feel like it's been plunged into Satan's personal rave. COLE The Global Party Exchange. If you wanna talk about a team with a history in the OAOAST, these are the men to look at. Two time tag team champions, winner of the first ever Anderson Cup, and have been involved in some of the biggest, most personal fueds in OAOAST history. The accolades and cheers heaped upon the two superstars means very little to De Janeiro, who greets their arrival with nothing short of bitterest disdain. Snarling like a lunatic madman he goes to confront the pair, wielding a pair of haymaking arms. While Jackson just cruises right by him and enters the cage, the hot headed Scotty Static refuses to back down to the oiled up hard body. Punches quickly flare between them, hitting with deadly accuracy and leaving bruises upon every last point of impact. “G-P-X! G-P-X!” the audience yells. Despite the words of encouragement from the audience, Static doesn't succeed in overpowering his rival. Rather, De Janeiro wraps his hands through his unruly surfer cut and throws him into the cage! To Rico's dismay, Static shows few ill effects from the attack, and simply repays the unkindness to the Brazilian! Unlike, Double S, the South American can't stomach the anguish, and collapses to the mats with blood spilling from his nose. COLE It's going to get a little crowd inside that cage! Elsewhere, Johnny Jackson introduces himself to the proceedings by smashing his forearm into Vincent's jaw. He then hurls the stunned grappler into the aisleside ropes. Santana springs off the cables with great speed, but is caught within Jackson's waistlock, and propelled into the cage by a release German Suplex! Just as soon as his bones touch the mat, Jackson approaches him with arms outstretched. Vinny thrashes wildly against the incoming bonds, his hands clawing at Jackon's leather clad legs. Johnny pays little heed to the hysterics, and hauls Vincent off the mat. He calmly knees him in the stomach, leaving him stunned and breathless, and allowing him to put Vinny into a front waistlock. JJ then rips him off the canvas, and his lanky figure snaps into the harsh metal from the belly to belly suplex! An inhuman howl erupts from Vinny's throat, putting a smile on Jackson's face. COACH Good lawd! Leaving Vincent to wallow in his misery, Jackson moves down the ring to confront old enemy Alix Spezia. He catches the culinary sensation by surprise, pasting her with a succession of clubbing forearms. Alix withers under the pressure of the blows, and the excruciating pain yields a round of howls and shrieks. His arms snaps against her bare shoulder and a crimson welt rises from the deeply tanned skin. Soon the duties of dismantling Alix are distributed between two grapples, as Soul assists “Jam” with fierce strikes. He and Jackson wield their knees freely, dealing out painful lashes at the slightest hint of defiance. Only seconds later, One-Eye Wallace joins their efforts to rid the ring of COD's presence. Taking obvious pleasure in an opportunity to batter Alix, Wallace demands his cohorts still her wailing and crying body. Their brute strength traps her arms behind her back, and her eyes widen at the reality of her horrible fate. Deep throated screams spill from her throat the second Wallace's boot slams into her face. Released from her bonds, the champion drops like a stone to the mat. “BOOOOOOO!” As enraged as the crowd is Krista's anger burns with much more fire and intensity, and she instantly seeks retribution for her brutalized lover. The silver spikes of her heels tear through Jackson's gut, as her elbow plunges deep into his jaw. Alarmed by Krista's flurry, Soul looks to subdue her with a lariat. But she sweeps bellow his arm, spinning behind him to clasp her hands around his chin. The fans explode with cheers for her soon to come signature move! Their cheers expand enormously when she strikes “Sweet” with the Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one! (reverse X-factor)! A heartbeat later, the golden haired beauty is back on her feet, eyes locked onto Jackson. Like Soul, Johnny's weapon of choice is a lariat. And like Soul Johnny is dealt a crushing blow by the Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one!! "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" Not having learned the lessons of his fallen foes, the stubborn One-Eye makes his own lariat bid, and gets easily wiped out by the Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one!]! Now it's Santana's turn to try his hand at the surging fitness model. Unlike his foolish predecessor, Vincent employs a yakuza kick to floor Krista. But the results remain the same; a Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one!! The fans cheers threaten to level the ring to it's very foundation, as the OAOAST champion makes a pivotal cover on Santana. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO CROWD THREE!! COLE The Militia is finished, Coach! They're done! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, The South Central Militia have been eliminated! The dumbstruck Wallace freezes in shock, unable to tell if this is all part of some horrific nightmare. While referee Earl Hebner tries to convince him that he's very much awake, the remaining teams continue the fight without second thoughts to the departed Militia. Crazed blue eyes glow with feral rage, as Krista bares her fangs at the slowly rising Jackson. An icy smile lifts the corner of her pink lips when she flashes forward with her spear. Both competitors crash to the canvas, but it's the grousing Jackson who takes the brunt of the harsh impact. Fortunately for the Jammer, his partner grants him a moment of respite by shucking Krista away from him. The frenzied high flyer falls upon his rival, tearing at her with manic punches. She manages to fight her to her feet past the wave of fists, but can do no more then that before Static locks her down into a back suplex position. She's drug into the air in preparation for deadly back drop driver, but at the height of the move the foxy mommy flips free of his hold and lands perfectly on her feet. And trust me landing on high heels ain't exactly easy. Before Static can even register that Krissy is no longer on his shoulders, her arms tighten around his neck in a side headlock. Dragging his hissing carcass along with her, Miss California darts to the ropes. Her shoes springboard off the cables, and her headlock takes care of the rest, savaging Static's face with a the springboard bulldog! As the crowd applauds her continued efforts, Hebner counts her latest pinfall.... CROWD ONE CROWD TWO But Jackson breaks up the pin with a harsh stomp towards Krista's head. Taking the woman by her lush locks, Jackson pulls her upright. The ill-mannered hellcat stages and admirable rebellion against his clutches, but he easily snuffs out her fire with a european uppercut. With his enemy temporally calmed, the party boy foists her high into the sky in an exploder suplex position. He twirls around, showcasing his prey to the now outraged audience, increasing their rage with each one of his contemptuous smirks. Finally he rifles her overhead, launching the fan favorite into the cage with his dangerous suplex! Krista sinks downward, shoes clanking against the metal, cries bringing tears to the eyes of the younger fans faces. “LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!” COLE Johnny Jackson and Scotty Static have just zeroed on the tag title tonight, no nerves, no anxiety, just killer precision from these two. In spite of the immense anguish she feels, Krista tries to use the ropes to drag her self up, as she feels Jackson and Static draw near. There's little time for her to effort a suitable defense before Jackson's boots leave their mark on her exposed left thigh. Krissy grimaces in pain that only grows worse when Static's kick strikes her in the same location. Krista falls down to her knees, the pain preventing her from even standing up to look her assailants in the eyes. Sniffing blood in the water, the men smile to each other, as they prepare to bring COD's time in the match to a close. Static positions himself behind Krista as though he were attempting a backdrop suplex, but he varies the typical hold by awkwardly bending her left leg. The unnatural position her leg is put in causes her to squeal moans of torment. But these noises are ignored by Static as he lifts her into a shin breaker position. Instead of simply dropping her onto his knee, the 313 homeboy glides her to the ropes, and drops her shin first atop the cables! With the sorrowing lady tangled between ropes with no means of escape, Jackson zeros in on her. Once he nears her, he takes to the skies with a dropkick and flattens her head between his shoes and the cage! Krista crumbles away from the ropes, her head throbbing unmercifully from the impact, unable to hear the crowd urging her to continue the fight. COACH Ain't nobody using the cage better as a weapon then GPX. You got this block of steel all around you, might as well make use of it. COLE Yes but-- Before Cole can even finish his thought the countdown reappears on the screen. 5 4 3 2 1 COLE Now who do we have? Booming through the speakers is Biohazard's Punishmentand the crowd bursts with glee for the arrival of hometown boy, Charlie Moss. But their glee devolves into wrathful hatred when Moss emerges wearing a baseball jersey. Surely that's innocent enough, you say. Not if the baseball jersey belongs to the Detroit Tigers! Benjamin dumps an entire gallon of fuel to fire by showing up in a Yankees jersey. Why, Patty what could be wrong with that? Well, it's a Johan Santana Yankees jersey, alluding to the fact the Twins will probably have to trade to NY at the end of the season. So while our sports comedians and WDW tag team champions journey down the ramp, they're assaulted with a plethora of jeers and taunts. COACH The WDW champions, Cole! My pick to win it all! COD are battered and beaten, The Wrecking Crew is tiring, and how long can GPX keep up their rapid pace. Just survive The Rockers and D*LUX and Team Heyross wins it all! If the Wrecking Crew is truly worn down as Coach says, their's little evidence of it within the ring. Soul has trapped Jackson within the corner with a barrage of knife edge chops, while Rico resumes his hellish brawl with the smaller Static within the center of the ring. The Brazilian grabs Static into a side headlock, shortly before he switches into an arm lock. Much like the headlock the arm lock doesn't stay applied for very long, as De Janiero violently snaps his foe down to the canvas. However, the sudden movement loosened Rico's grip, and it's for this reason that Static is able to spring to his feet and away from a possible submission hold. The applause of the audience inform Soul that Rico wasn't able to upend Static. Thusly he breaks away from Johnny to blast Scotty with a lariat. Unfortunately his moment away from Jackson, provided Jam with all the time he needed to recover, he captures the unaware champion with a face crusher! “G-P-X! G-P-X! G-P-X!” Suddenly the noise of the audience maximizes to it's highest point of the contest. Confused by the sharp rise of audience noise, Jackson turns his head around, finding Charlie Moss perched upon the thin platform that rests on the corner of the cage. COLE What's he doing? Answering Cole's query, and delighting the fans, Moss dismounts his perch with a swan dive headbutt directed towards Soul! Camera flashes are strewn about the stands by audience members who wish to capture the high risk attack. What they end up capturing is Moss' gruesome failure, as Soul moves out of the way! “OOOOOOH!” COLE Oh no! While the majority of people seem to be wondering if Moss is even still alive after that terrible landing, Jackson couldn't care less about his welfare, and casually rolls him into a pinning predicament. Hebner scores the fall.... ONE TWO But Moss' time in the match is prolonged just a bit longer thanks to Benjamin's top rope leg drop slicing through Jackson's neck. Without hesitation, Benjamin shoves Johnny onto his back for a pinning predicament of his own... ONE TWO But, The Jammer manages to kickout well before the three. Unsure of how Jackson escaped the fall, Benjamin lifts his head to argue with Hebner. But instead of spotting the officials wrinkled face, his vision is clogged by the faux fur covered boots of one Alix Spezia! The Hollywood Bad Girl leads Benjamin off the canvas, and attempts to toss him into the ropes. However the amateur wrestling god reverses her hold, and those adorable little boots are sent trotting into the cables. But once she reaches the ropes, she ascends to the third one and uses it as a catapult to lionsault herself towards QB. Benjamin's excellent reflexes allow him to slide bellow her incoming missile. But he doesn't move far enough, as Alix is able to trap him into an inverted facelock on her descent! In one smooth motion, she twirls both their bodies around to strike him with a roll the dice! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” While the crowd continues to sing her name, Ally turns her grey eyes towards the struggling to stand Johnny Jackson, and inexplicably (very inexplicably) sings, “Rooooxanne! You don't have to put on the redlight, those days are over, you don't have to sell your body to the night. Roxane, you don't have to wear that dress tonight, walk those streets for money, you don't care if it's wrong if it's right. Roxaaaaanne, you don't have to put on the red light....” Soon the crowd joins in on her song, “ROXAAAANEEE!” “PUT ON THE RED LIGHT!” She responds back “ROXAAAANNNNE!” “PUT ON THE RED LIGHT!” “ROXXAAAAAANE!” “PUT ON THE RED LIGHT!” COLE Only in the OAOAST will an entire match stop for a song and dance number! Obviously not much of a Sting fan, Jackson swings wildly with a spin kick. But his crazed blow misses wildly, allowing Ally to slip beneath his leg and catch his jaw with a dropsault. Pain rakes his chin, but The Jammer somehow succeeds in staying upright. As such Alix's furry boots hammer his chiseled chest with a second dropkick! This latest attack sends the ATL native stumbling backwards into an axe handle smash from Rico De Janiero. Though the blow is delivered with incredible force it fails to stagger the youngster, who continues stumbling about the ring. The Hollywood hottie hits the ropes, managing to duck under a lariat from Quentin Benjamin in the process. Ally hits the other side of the ring and comes back to a reverse elbow from Jam, which she ducks with remarkable ease. On her next and final run, the twenty eight year old throws her lithe body into the air for a cross body block! Unfortunately, Jackson dives beneath her fast approaching body! But instead of crashing and burning into the canvas, she encounters a fate far worse, that of being caught within the arms of Rico. The foreigner's coarse hands take a moment to explore the tantalizing body that places perverse grin onto his face. “RICO SUCKS! RICO SUCKS!” chant the fans, enraged by his groping of their heroine. From out of no where, Krista flies in to distract the despicable grappler from her girlfriend. Alix's heart shatters as his raised effortlessly boot impales Krissy's skull. Krista pitches backwards, as his foot slides away from her, losing control of her body and crash landing next to Moss. Giving Krista no further attention, as though he just stepped on an ant, Rico swings Alix around and bashes her stomach across his knee. Her ribs already damaged from earlier, Alix feels a new jolt of pain rip across her torso. Pleased with the damage he's caused, the Brazilian efforts a pinfall that's scored by Silverman. ONE TWO Much to audience's grand joy, Alix pulls her shoulder off the canvas! COACH Alix and Krista are on borrowed time now! Indeed they are, and Alix struggles upright to try to turn the tides of fate towards her team's favor. As she angles around, her tear streaked eyes spot Lucius Soul fast approaching. She swings around just in time to smash her elbow full force into his skull. But even as Soul falls, does the unbearably sharp arms of Charlie Moss cut into her throat with a sleeper hold, and all at once she can't breathe. “LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!” She gasps and slams her right elbow back into her attacker's gut and catches bone, not the soft solar plexus she had been going for. She draws her elbow forward again, and feels Moss shift position slightly, anticipating the blow. Hope fading by the second, Alix shifts her own weight, intending on trying to slip free of the hold. But as she turns her weakened knees buckle, and escape seems more impossible then ever. She moans and wails under the strength of his submission, and looks dangerously close to slipping into an unconscious abyss. Charlie rudely comments, “You're dead now, bi...” DIAMOND CUTTER BY ALIX! Ally's brilliant escape attempt generates a rocking ovation from the stands, but draws the obvious ire of Benjamin. His red boots slam repeatedly into her bare back, sending ripples of pain through every inch of her body. She cries underneath the ceaseless assault, begging for Krista to come to her aid. Suddenly the torrent of stomps comes to a close, but it's not due to any intervention from Krista. Rather it's due to Benjamin nonchalantly grabbing the plucky lass by her ankles. His grip is stronger then a bear trap, and despite her frenzied efforts to break free, she remains his unwilling prisoner. Free to do as he wishes with her, he flips her onto her back, grabs hold of both her bare legs, then rockets her high into the sky as if she weighed as much as a small poodle. His unorthodox attack causes her to endure a brutal head first landing on the mat that instantly sends the fans and the fallen Krista into a state of worry for their beloved Alix. QB, however, is unrelenting in his assault, dropping down to his knees and blasting away with huge amounts of firepower in the form of closed fists. “LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!” Elsewhere, Johnny Jackson foists Soul onto position for a powerbomb. But the move doesn't seem to be forthcoming, as Jackson is required to wait for Static to scale the cage to it's highest peak. Despite the incredible strain his muscles undergo from keeping Soul elevated, the wait appears to be worth it as he hears the crowd roar their approval. Finally both he and the fans are treated to magnificent stunt, as Static dismounts the cage! Tumbling through the air, he swings his arms forward, trapping his hands around Soul's neck as he sails past the grappler. “Sweet” is ripped from his nest on Jackson's shoulders and driven downwards with a blockbuster! Well above his distressed groans sit the huge cheer of the fans, and the arrogant boasting of the two time tag team champions. “G-P-X! G-P-X! G-P-X!” COLE Did you see that? Did you see that? COACH I saw it! Saying it twice isn't going to change that fact, you dumbass. GPX's victory bash is painfully short lived, as Soul's partner gains a measure of revenge by steamrolling Static with a running high knee. Just seconds after Scotty topples to the canvas, does Rico direct his mammoth rage towards Jackson. He slams a round of closed fists into the cruiserweight's face, weakening him enough to Irish whip him across the ring. When Jackson makes his return he finds his adversaries have maddeningly multiplied, as Charlie Moss stands at Rico's side. The pairing catch JJ with a double hip toss, but refuse to let him sink to the mat, instead forcing him to fall into their free arms. Without a word passed between them, the two champions fling Jackson skywards. Unable to see what's happening beneath him, he hollers in horror, as he feels one hand tighten around his neck, and another tie around his ankles. With no way of protecting himself, he's brutally victimized by the double team that spikes him into the canvas! COLE Oh! Pleased with his efforts, Rico begins to massage his now legendary porn stache. Unfortunately the porn stache is nearly kicked off his face by a thunderous superkick from Charlie Moss! Rico collapses to the mat in a convulsing heap, totally unaware of who or what just hit him. Smirking to himself, Moss makes a pin... ONE TWO But the buff muscle stud kicks out, pleasing absolutely no one who isn't named Lucius Soul. Yet, the pinfall is quick to be forgotten thanks to the appearance of the highly anticipated countdown clock.... 5 4 3 2 1 HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT! Kurt Cobain's ode to Courtney Love pumps into the Minnesota night, eliciting an enormous wave of jeers. Not a single soul is pleased to bear witness to the despised tag team known as the Heavenly Rockers. As the entrance doors part, the hatred the world feels for them is not lost on The Rockers. Clad in matching leather pants with golden angel wings on the back, and matching golden tank tops, the Sin City duo greets their less then adoring fanbase with a pair of one finger salutes. Logan then triumphantly beats his fist against his beefy chest, while Synth flexes his thin muscles in pure arrogance. COLE Former tag team champions, The Heavenly Rockers. We have had former pimps and drug dealers in this match, and I'd still rather see them hold the title before The Rockers. What totally classless fiends these two are. I hate seeing them out here, and the fans hate seeing them out here. In my opinion, and I'm sure this is shared by many of the fans, the Lonestar Gunslingers should be competing... COACH Don't make the mistake of finishing that thought. Aside from one fluke victory over Black T, what have The Gunslingers actually done besides get a hot manager? Nothing. The musical duo journeys down the ramp, Synth bopping his head to the acidic guitars, and Logan running his fingers through his permed black hair. The fans look on in total disdain, wishing that some decent soul would erase the hated heels from existence. Their prayers are answered. Two muscular young men, clad in mink fur coats, and paint splashed jeans, dive over guardrail. Curly brown hair flows behind them, as they evade security to make their way to an oblivious Rocker pair. COACH What the? Suddenly a gigantic cheer speeds through the arena, as these men are instantly recognized as The Sk8r Boiz! COLE Oh my god! Oh my god! The Boiz are back in town! The massive screams of the audience lead Logan and Synth to turn their head in confusion. But by the time they're aware of what's going down, Marvin and Melvin are flooring them with double lariats! While the crowd chants the Nerdly boys name, Logan quickly struggles towards his feet, Stricken with panic, he tries his damnedest to get to the safety of the cage. No such luck. Melvin latches onto his wispy hair, leading the superstar to scream in fear. His fears are well founded, as Melvin throws him stomach first into the steel barricades. With a look of pure hatred gripping his face, The Canadian marches towards Logan and batters him with a parade of stomps. COACH Somebody stop this! Synth would love to try and follow Coach's orders, but there's the tiny problem of Marvin belly to belly suplexing him back up the ramp. Synth's heavily tatooed figure crashes violently against the steel staging, delighting the sold out audience. They're even more pleased when Marvin storms forward to drive the point of his boot into his stomach. "SKATE OR DIE! SKATE OR DIE! SKATE OR DIE!" Logan struggles towards the top of the ramp. His intention isn't to aid his fallen partner, however. He simply wishes to escape the unholy beating being laid upon him by Melvin. He can scarcely inch past Synth, before the well defined arms of Marvin begin terrorizing his back. Soon, Melvin joins in the crowd pleasing assault, and the Boiz manage to beat Logan backstage. Poor Synth is left on the floor, writhing in agony, unsure of what on earth just happened. COLE The Boiz are back in town, Coach! The Boiz are back in town! You don't mess with the Nerdly family and get away from it. That was for Melody! COACH This isn't right, Cole! No! No! The Rockers just got eliminated without even getting near the ring! What kind of crap is this? What kind of establishment is being ran here when the midcard tag teams can assault the superstar tag teams like that? "SKATE OR DIE! SKATE OR DIE! SKATE OR DIE!" COLE Well, the fans don't have a problem with it, and neither do I! Back in the ring (yes, there's still match going on), Soul focuses himself on the duty of furnishing Krista's downfall. Taking hold of her trembling wrist, he leads her to her feet, then slings her into the cables. The ropes return her into a punch from Benjamin that shears her skull and rips her from her feet. She yells in rage and pain, thrusting a smile of intense gratification onto the duo's face. Affording her no time to recover from her wounds, Soul peels the champion from the canvas. His hand flicks out in a knife edge chop, tearing apart the fabric of her scanty criss cross halter top. He cocks his arm to deliver another flesh searing strike, but his offense is grounded to an abrupt halt when a chop explodes across his pecs. Eight more chops terrorize the now bloody flesh of each brawler, giving life to a rousing ovation from the audience. More motivated to protect their shredded flesh then effort any sort of attack, Benjamin and Soul dispatch their rival to the ropes. This tactic grants them a three second reprieve from her onslaught, but when the gorgeous gal returns she reintroduces them to a world of hurt, pummeling him with a double high flipping lariats! All three warriors sink to the canvas, rippling the ring with their extraordinary impact. LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA! Despite being the aggressor, Krista's mounting injuries and misery make standing up an arduous effort. As her frail bones slog their way past the pain to stand upright, Jam sneaks behind her. When she stands fully erect, the ex champion springs forward, intending on flattening her with knee lift. But thanks to a quick glance towards the outfield scoreboard, Krista eyes the fast approaching warrior and slips out of the way! Unable to put the breaks on in time, Jackon's knees collide with Benjamin and Soul, sending the pair hurtling through the ropes and into the cage! All three gladiators land with a harsh thud, a wonderful sound to the millions of COD fans world wide. A wonderful sight for these fans would be Krista pinning of the three defeated opponents. But their beloved heroine can scarcely take a breath without feeling as though she's been shot COLE I think you're right, Coach, I think the curtain is finally closing on COD's eight month tag title reign. Several inches to her left, Rico and Scotty Static have snagged Alix into a back suplex position. As they tighten their hands around her white shorts, Rico plants a loathsome kiss onto her cheek. The horrid gesture the pulls a sob of despair from her quivering lips, and boos from the hateful audience. The jeers from the stands grow even louder once the pairing complete their double team, and punish their victim with a backdrop driver. Alix flops onto her stomach, where her sweat drenched brown hair spills in front of her, and tears puddle on the mat beneath her. Hearing Alix's sobbing unleashes a beast within in the bone weary Krista, and she strides towards the makeshift gang to rip their flesh to shreds. Unfortunately her ill health means she's poorly equipped to handle the much larger grapplers, and Static casually tosses her aside with an elbow into the gut. Rico watches in amusement as her body scissors in half, then topples to the ground. Amid the hate tinged noise of the crowd, he attempts a pin. ONE TWO But Krista kicks out, bringing the fans to their feet with cheers and applause! COLE Folks, we have to take a commercial break! We'll be back with more after this! COMMERICAL BREAK As we return to live action The Countdown is already underway. 5 4 COLE Almost time for D*LUX! 3 2 1 Right after the final count leaves the lips of the audience, Makes Me Wonder enters the arena to a raucous pop from a now standing crowd. Unlike the teams that have proceeded them, the boybanding duo waste no team with theatrical showmanship, instead charging down towards the ring to seek their glory. COLE Three time HI-YAH tag champions on their way to the fray. Their success has been limited since Jade Rodez left them, but here they have a chance to achieve triumph on all their own. Forget about triumph, D*LUX is having difficulty even achieving entrance into the cage! This is due entirely to the fact that the second they open the doors, the boots of Jackson and Static smash them to the outside mats. Watching the D*LUX duo squeak and squawk in a mixture of confusion in torment has the Party Exchange crowing with laughter. The audience is split between males for GPX and girls for D*LUX, and thus their voices mingle into a noisy, garbled mess. Beneath that mess, are the shouts of Hebner and Silverman, demanding that GPX refrain from such actions. But because there's no actual rule against what they did, Static just tells the officials to shut up and get lost. Brimming with anger, Brave throws himself onto the ring apron. But the second his shoes reach the surface he's struck by a Johnny Jackson lariat that propels him through the arena air. The crash landing leaves him stunned and breathless, and his chest stings from small cuts and abrasions. COLE Well, that's not right at all. D*LUX deserves their chance to get into the match! Figuring that D*LUX has been tempered for the moment, GPX turns their attention towards their more immediate rivals. Chiefly, OAOAST Tag Team Champions Chicks Over Dicks. Eyes flickering with predatory hunger, the party animals impatiently wait for the distressed Krista to step to her feet. When she rises fully upright, her wobbly body is trapped within the confines of Static's front facelock. Without the energy to mount a suitable defense, she's helpless to prevent her smooth legs from being elevated onto Jackson's shoulders. The duo then swing her limp body over, dropping her back first onto the unforgiving canvas! A stabbing pain in her right side causes her to hiss in agony. Blinking the sweat from her eyes, she sees Static lie on top of her for a pin... ONE TWO Mere seconds before Silverman can reach a three count, Krista kicks out! The audience is stunned with delight, certain that they had just witnessed the ending moments of COD's title reign. GPX is stunned as well, but its certainly not with delight. However they're forced to maintain their cool, and retry their attempt to eliminate Krista. Again she's brought upright, where her listless arms are snapped with a double arm wrench. She barely has enough strength to wail in pain, and can only emit low groans of defeat as they, latch onto her legs and lift her into the air. As her now messy blond hair dribbles in front of her, the GPX fling her backwards, causing her to land between the second and third ropes. Her back collides gruesomely with the steel meshing, and for a split second she's able to fianlly wail in pain, before her sluggish corpse drips to the canvas. Assured that Krista has gasped her last breath, Jackson goes for a pivotal fall... ONE TWO D*LUX breaks up the fall! “YEAAAAAA!” COACH I always thought people from Detroit were stupid, but never that stupid! COLE D*LUX is doing it for Krista! COACH Congratulations, boys, you're in love with a lesbian. Being that this is an every person for themselves match, GPX can't fathom why D*LUX would want to rescue a team on the brink of elimination. However they don't wait for words of explanation before they begin trading blows with the vexing teenyboppers! In spite of the size disadvantage, Shayne and Tyler are both able to overpower their rivals. Brave takes hold of Johnny's heavily gelled hair, while Bryant digs his fingers through Static's unrully strands. The teen screams then head to opposite ends of the cage and hurl their victims face first into the wall! Warm blood streams from cuts on their forehead, and they stagger backwards through a dizzy fog. Jackson has the good sense to timber over, which immediately erases him from the minds of Shayne and Tyler. That leaves Static to suffer the entirety of their anger. They shoot him into the ropes, and smash their white tennis shoes into his stomach upon his return. The shot knocks him out on his feet, and he's soon knocked clear off them by a double dropkick from the duo! COLE D*LUX is on fire! COACH And for what? So they get their lesbian crush pin them after they've eliminated everyone for her? Elsewhere Moss and Soul wage war in the corner. Soul gains the upper hand with a rake of Moss's onyx eyes. Capitalizing on the advantage the cheap shot granted him, Soul speedily hustles Moss onto his shoulders in preparation for the Fro 2 Sleep! But Moss is saved from the lethal finisher when Benjamin grabs onto his boots and pulls him back down to the mat. Team Heyross then uses their numbers advantage to the turn the tables on Soul, flooring him with a double lariat! Their arms explode onto his chest, unleashing a blast of sweat from the darkened skin. Eyes wide with furor, the WDW champions hook his legs around their necks as though they were about to attempt a stretch muffler. However their planned move proves be far more ghastly then a simple submission hold. They twist him into the air, holding him upside down so that all the blood rushes to his afroed head. Once they witness his face turn several shades of blue, they execute their master plan. They flip “Sweet” backwards, releasing him at the height of their move. Soul screams out in terror before his mouth is muffled by the jagged steel of the cage. He peels off like wrapping paper, crashing to the mat where bruises jut from his bleeding body. With Soul in dire need of medical attention, Heyross' boys turn their attention to crushing his partner's title hopes. Problematically, the lady killer isn't quite as easy to manhandle as Soul and batters the men as though they were common house flies. Moss falls into the ropes, his breath fleeing his body at a rapid pace. His partner fares no better, with jabs liberally decorating his face. Finally Rico knocks Benjamin off his feet with a diving lariat! “HEYROSS SUCKS!” “WRECKING CREW SUCKS! “HEYROSS SUCKS!” “WRECKING CREW SUCKS” COLE These fans having a tough time deciding who they hate more! Positioned next to his wounded enemy, Rico meets with little trouble in locking his rival down with his famous Rico Vice (Anaconda Vice)! COLE Could this be it Already enduring a miserable time in breathing, Benjamin has neither the will nor the way to fight free of the hold. Thankfully fortune smiles upon him, and sends his partner's stomping boots to the rescue. Unthankfully (not a word!), fortune fails to smile on Moss, and he's trapped into a full nelson from a mystery assailant. The soft baby oiled skin and heavy scent of Abercrombie perfume and cherry scented hair spray, alerts Moss that he's been accosted by Alix Maria Spezia. And that can only mean he's about to die of dysentery. She sweeps his leg out from under him and buries his face into the canas with the You have Died of Dysentery (full nelson face crusher). A pin quickly follows..... CROWD ONE CROWD TWO CROWD THREE!! "YEAAAAAA!" COLE That's it for Team Heyross! COACH No! My prediction! My pick! My eighty thousand dollar bet! All ruined! Former WDW champions, six man champions, gone so abruptly. And with them goes my money! While Coach complains about being sent to the poor house a truly disturbing sight wafts from the entry doors. A haggard African American man, expensive clothes torn to shreds, body covered in blood both dried and fresh, eyes wrought with panic and horror. He's barely recognizable as Logan Mann. Most surprisingly, his wobbly legs are carrying him towards the battleground. “BOOOOOOOOO!” shout the fans, showing no pity for his obvious plight. COLE What is he doing out here? COACH What a valiant competitor Logan Mann is. Beaten down by two of the biggest underachieving slackers known to the OAOAST, he still comes out to fight the good fight even without his partner. This one is for you, Synth! Wherever you are, this one is for you! Dragging his wounded carcass into the ring apparently. Stumbling about like the town drunk at two AM, he swings at anything that moves, real or imagined. While most of the fighters can easily avoid his sloppy attempts at offense, Tyler Bryant inadvertently stumbles into a kick that doubles him over. Mann's blood soaked face lights up at the position Bryant is stuck in. He coils his hands around the boybander's neck then dives backwards, spiking his head into the canvas with a Percussion DDT! The audience is disgusted by Logan's interference and taunts him heavily. Ignoring their insults, Logan actually attempts a pinfall. Both referees can only look on in dismayed confusion as they refuse to score Logan's pinning attempt. “Why not? I'm in the match! Fuck you! Fuck you! I'll kill you!” he rants, sending slobber and blood flying about the ring. “Yo, Logan!” a pair airy, sleek male voices scream. “Look up, dude!” “God, is that you?” “Fuck yes, little bitch!” The voices say before the camera pans up to reveal the Sk8r Boiz located atop the platforms on the corners, striking the FREAKING AWESOME Christ in Rio pose. "YEAAAAAA!" Logan's mangled blood caked face turns white with horror as the image of his new worst enemies fills his vision. Frozen in place by crippling fear, he can only scream for mercy from his predators. There will be no mercy forthcoming from the pride of the Nerdly family, and they leap from their roosts with twin shooting star presses! COLE OH MY! Logan's body is sandwiched beneath the incredible missiles and pain explodes onto every inch of his frame. But his screams are drowned out by an entire arena chanting “HOLY SHIT!” COLE Good lord, Coach! Did you see what the Boiz just did? Totally owning Logan Mann and Synth Esizer, tonight. Rockers your time is up! Cloaked in river of applause from an appreciative audience, The Boiz vacated the premises through the stands, slapping hands with their legion of fans as they exit. Back in the ring there's still the matter of Tyler Bryant still feeling the ill affects of the Percussion DDT. Ever the opportunistic one, ol Rico hooks his leg for a pinfall... ONE TWO But Krista Isadora Duncan returns an earlier favor and breaks up the pinfall! In response to the simple act of kindness, Tyler professes his undying love to his savior, and offers himself as her personal servant for eternity in gratitude. Kinda creeped out, Krista has to make an excuse to get away from her adoring fan, “Uh, I gotta go....peel some potatoes. Yeah.” Elsewhere Soul is trapped in the corner with Alix and Shayne buzzing around him like wasps. Brave stings first, slashing his knee into Soul's jaw! Moments later, Alix's faux fur covered wrist terrorizes his nose! From the corner does he stagger, white fluff dribbling from his mouth. His fur filled mouth soon tastes the canvas, as Alix takes him down with a face crusher! “RADICAL, DUDETTE! COWABUNGA!” Shayne shouts, drawing a “WTF did he just say?” look from anyone within ear shot. As the crowd chants her name, Alix ascends to the top rope. While there she tries to repay their kindness with words of Buddhist wisdom, “I embrace eternity! I am one! I am l-o-v-e, love!” And with that Buddah's favorite celebrity chef flies from the turnbuckles with a 630 splash! She lands with picture perfect impact, ripping away what little air remains in his lungs. Hebner counts the resulting pinfall... CROWD ONE CROWD TWO CROWD THREE!! "YEAAAAAA!" But wait! A baseball sliding Rico destroys both the pinfall and the crowd's enraptured mood. COLE I could've sworn that was it! Rico lifts Alix up by her teeny tiny tube top and wraps her into a butterfly lock. As she's sorely lacking the strength and energy required to fight free of the hold, Rico is able to easily lift her and slam her downwards with a tiger driver. The torment settles quickly in Ally's body and her face goes blank with lifelessness. Thusly Rico decides to attempt a crucial pinfall..... ONE TWO Alix calls upon her last ounce of strength to kickout, popping the capacity crowd in the process. After failing to get the three count, an annoyed Rico stands before his opponent has an opportunity to collect her bearings. Upon measuring Alix and zeroing in on the perfect target to hit, De Janeiro leaps into the air and extends his elbow out, slicing it through Ally's neck on his landing! Alix painfully howls into the night sky, leading the worried spectators to clap their hands in unison to rally the babyface. However, the chortling Rico is back on his feet and itching to inflict more damage to the adored girl. He backs into the ropes, and bounces off, once again jumping as he nears Alix weakened body. This time he extends his elbow out and sadistically smashes it into her forehead! COACH At some point, Cole, they ain't gonna be able to survive all this! Shayne Brave would love to come to Alix's aid, but there's just the teensy little problem of Scotty Static trying to use the cage as a cheese shredder against his face. Brave manages to put his tennis shoe onto the ropes to block his forward momentum and keep his handsome facial features in tact. Seeking to fight fire with fire, he grabs Static's sandy blond hair and attempts to ram his head through the wall. However the nimble cruiserweight manages to get his foot up and evade a grizzly disfigurement. Seconds later, Static busts through the stalemate by finally managing to hurl the youthful grappler into the cage! Brave's slender figure convulses wildly as the pain courses through it. He slowly sinks to his knees where he's ripe for the vile intentions of Scotty Static. Lucikly he's saved from SS's evil intentions by the advances of Tyler. The boybander grabs onto Static's leather legging's and lifts him into the sky with a flap jack! Unfortunately the ring ropes catch Static before the mat can, and he's left gasping for air. “LET'S GO D*LUX!” “G-P-X!” “LET'S GO D*LUX!” “G-P-X!” “DUELLING CHANTS! DUELLING CHANTS! DUELLING CHANTS!” While the crowd continues their inane prattle, Bryant works his towards the black platforms atop the cage. He moves with great haste, wishing to position himself while his rival still remains an injured husk. Sadly, his efforts are for naught, as Johnny Jackson trails his position with demonic quickness. The warriors meet atop the platform, and the surrounding audience members can scarcley contain their excitement. With each passing blow they level against each other, a mammoth cheer fills the air. Standing on the edge, in ever present danger of plummeting to his demise, a flicker of trepidation passes over Jackson's visage. He lunges forward in an attempt to switch positions with Bryant, but earns only only a cargo pants leg into the midsection for his trouble. He then curses in a horrified tone when Bryant shoves him into a standing head scissors. Tyler's hands curl through his stringy black hair, and a cloak of of uncertainty envelopes him as he observes the expansive distance between himself and the floor. COLE I don't think Tyler knows if he should go through with it! Whether he should or he shouldn't is not a decision left up to him, thanks to a low blow from Jackson! Experiencing none of the butterflies of his foe, Jackson hurriedly crooks his arm around the boy''s head, and nonchalantly dips backwards with a deathly DDT! Eighteen thousand mouthes are held agape while the competitors descend from the sky like a flaring meteor shower. COLE Oh my! COACH God! BOOOM! The horrifying impact of their bones shattering against the canvas can be heard well into the next county. The cacophonous chants of “HOLY SHIT” can be heard well into the next time zone. Unnoticed bellow the utter destruction of two human beings is Shayne cracking Static's skull with the Shaynedrop (Fall forward diamond cutter)! Brave hooks the leg for a pinfall that's scored by Hebner. Only several inches to the left, near crippled Jackson covers the body of Bryant. Unaware of Hebner's count, Silverman scores this fall... ONE! TWO! THREE? Instantly confusion abounds, and the audience is left in stunned silence, unsure of which team claimed victory. Their befuddlement certainly isn't alleviated by watching the officials raise the hand of two opposing team members. While Shayne mimics the silenced awe of the fans, Jackson is far more proactive, passionately lobbying for D*LUX's elimination. Even the brawling Wrecking Crew and COD have to slow their pace to observe the strange proceedings. COACH Yo, who got the pin? Who's staying around and who's going back to the locker room? COLE Well....I don't even know! I..I...I guess you could make a case either way. But, well, this is pretty unusual. Sensing that the crowd is about to turn very hostile, Silverman and Hebner huddle to come to some sort of agreement on the sticky situation. Jackson hovers behind them, his slight country accent breathless in it's pleading of GPX's case. COLE Having two referees out here was meant to prevent chaos and disorder, but it looks like that sure hasn't happen! After several seconds of debate the referees reach a conclusion. Hebner heads to the edge of the cage nearest Buffer, and informs the announcer of their decision. As he prepares the recite his announcement, Jackson beams with joy, assured his lobbying will bear fruit. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, OAOAST officials have decided that as a result of the double pinfall both The Global Party Exchange and D*LUX have been eliminated! Jackson doesn't even wait for the final syllable to be finished before his temper flares murderously. The cage door is swung nearly of it's hinges, and the red in the face brawler storms through with the force of a million bats pouring through hell. Behind him, his partner dejectedly staggers along , every bit as angry, but in any shape to show it. The heated crowd more then makes up for his inability to react, polluting the air with boos and jeers for the decision. D*LUX's departure is much more low key then the melodramatic rantings of Johnny Jackson. Shayne helps Tyler to the back after wishing Krista and Alix good luck. COACH Ain't that some bullshit? I don't give a damn about D*LUX but GPX has put in work! Two time OAOAST tag team champions, legends in the field. You give the legends the benefit of the doubt. COLE Hey, D*LUX were three time HI-YAH tag team champions! COACH What? Are you serious? That's like trying to say Chris Simon is on Wayne Gretzky's level because Simon scored sixty goals in junior hockey. That's minor league 'ish, GPX is major. It's not fair! Perhaps the only two people pleased to witness the double elimination are the HI-YAH champions, The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. With D*LUX and GPX removed from contention, the lone obstacle between the Wrecking Crew and immortality is the rapidly decaying corpse of the OAOAST champions, Chicks Over Dicks. Neither man can hold back a triumphant chuckle as they observe the remains of their battered foes strewn about the warzone. As Alix's injuries are slightly less severe then Krista, she becomes the primary target, while Krista is considered a minor irritant. Holstering Alix upright, Rico draws his elbow forward and hurls it with pinpoint precession. A startled cry emerges from her throat as the harsh strike sputters into her head. “LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!” Alix staggers backwards, grabbing for the ropes to steady herself for a counter attack against her aggressors. But she doesn't move quickly enough, and Rico knocks her into a corner with one enormous swipe of his hand. A defiant hatred blazes through her cobalt eyes, but the fiery emotion does nothing to stop the Wrecking Crew from snatching her into a front face lock and hurriedly placing her atop the turnbuckle. They follow her up the ropes, and without a seconds delay plunge her to the floor with a double superplex. Her body shatters in an explosion of sweat, fur, brown hair and screams. While Rico leans against the ropes, lovingly massaging his forest of chest hair, Soul attempts a pinfall... ONE TWO To the audience's amazement and delight, Alix weakly pulls her shoulder of the mat. The simple effort bludgeons her petite body, and labored breathes spray from her mouth. COACH The end is near, Cole. I can feel it in my bones. An eight month title reign is coming to an end. Now the real wrestlers get to run with the belts again. De Janeiro angrily rips Alix from the canvas. He launches his knee into her six packed stomach, and flames of pain scorch her torso. She croaks in agony, stepping backwards to try and avoid further beatings. Regrettably, she stumbles into the waiting arms of Lucius Soul. Before she can put forth her defense, he raises her overhead into a standing Fireman's carry. He steps forward to pull her thrashing figure away from the ropes and then shoots his knee into her skull with the Fro 2 Sleep. The wounded champion topples to the mat, her ruined form joining the blood and sweat of those that came before her. Soul presses his knees against her shoulder and foists his arms into the air in celebration, as Hefner counts his pin... ONE TWO But Krista shoves him away from his victim! "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" Hurrying forward, Rico places his boot into Miss California's skull, effectively ending her moment of offense. As she trembles on the mat, Rico blasts a seemingly unending torrent of stomps into her shoulder, leaving his foot print across her glittering top. She closes her eyes and grits her teeth as his stomps land with the strength of a wrecking ball. Eventually Rico lifts her away from the canvas, and stuffs her into a standing head scissors. Infuriating an already outraged crowd even further, he seductive gyrates his hips, making sure his muscles rub down every inch of her appalled face. “Who wants a moustache ride?” He wonders, still juggling Krista's head with his thigh muscles. “BOOOOOOO!” Rico lifts Miss California into position for his Moustache Ride (Razor's Edge). However, due to the fact that both their bodies are lathered in sweat and baby oil, Krissy is fortunate enough to be able to slide down his hairy back. Despite her terrible health, she tries to put her new found freedom to good use with a springboard body splash! But Rico's powerful arms subdue her efforts, and her lithe figure is brought into the canvas with a powerslam. Her head rings, and every bone in her body vibrates like a fork. Assuming, her will and ability to fight is all but evaporated, Rico hooks the leg for a pin ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! Krista was able to kickout, and the fans are ecstatic. COLE I don't know how she's doing it, Coach. And judging by the confused look on Soul's face he doesn't know either. Rico shrugs off his own objections over the pin and rises to a vertical base. Krista is soon to follow but gets forearmed in the neck for her tardiness. Blue eyes water and breath becomes short when another torrid blow crashes into her stacked chest. She totters from side to side, unable to mount a defense against Baron's vivacious brawling assault. Feeling his rival sufficiently weakened, The Brazilian moves behind her and locks her into a back suplex set-up. He hoists her into the sky, lifting him so high you'd swear he could touch the scoreboard. However at the climax of the hold, Krista deftly slips out of it, landing perfectly on her feet. Rico, confused on what just happened, spins around only to get flung halfway across the ring with a hurricanrana! The crowd's cheers are deafening for Krista's show of life. However, her move may have done her more harm then good, as it sets Soul on the rampage. The moment she rises from the canvas, his leg lariat slashes across her face, draining all the color and life from her body. Soul makes a cover, pressing his forearm into her face to gain an advantage... ONE TWO Alix emerges to stop short the fall! "YEAAAAAA!" Annoyed by Alix's meddling, Rico zooms to the ropes, returning to level the girl with a swipe of his meaty forearm. Alix reacts as if he just had a piano dropped on his head, sagging to the mat and hollering in unbridled pain. Rico scoops Melvin up, and after delivering two punches to her stomach he throws her into the ropes. She's taken head over heels by raised knee, and endures a cringe worthy neck first landing that has several audience members in tears. Stroking his 'stache, Rico prepares to really crank up the adolescent water works, as he lifts Ally up and places her into a standing head scissors. He crosses his arms under her torso and then her up so that she hangs horizontal to the mat. With the fans steady in their stream of hatred for him, Rico kneels down and drops shoulder first onto his knee, utilizing his awful shoulder breaker! While the searing pain speeds throughout Alix's body, Rico hooks the outside leg for a pin. ONE TWO She kicks out, bringing forth cheers from the audience! However, the South American is relentless, and once again takes hold of the outside leg for a pin.... ONE TWO Once again Alix kicks out, and Rico empties a stream of Portuguese profanity in response. He dishes out a trilogy of stinging stomps to Alix's aching head, as he arrogantly returns to caressing his 'stache. Finished with his stomping, he sinks to his stomach where he's able to easily trap Alix into the Rico Vice! Alix instantly feels the horrible affects of this poisonous hold, a crippling constriction on her neck and a difficulty in breathing. Five seconds into the move, Silverman starts to inquire as to whether she wishes to submit or not. Rico's heavy accent answers for her, telling the zebra that his foe has no more will to fight. "LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!" In spite of the groundswell of support for his antagonist, Rico able to quell any resistance, locking the plucky babe down in the center of the ring. Salvation seems so far away for Alix, as the entirety of his vision is engulfed by hairy body of the HI-YAH tag team champion. De Janeiro squeezes on the hold as tight as the referees' overbearing rules will allow, making an act as simple as breathing a grueling effort for the Los Angeles native. Knowing that her body can't endure much more of this torture, Alix takes up the arduous task of rising to his feet. Despite Rico's unheard of strength, she's amazingly able to stand, renewing hope within her and the audience. Sensing that his hold is rapidly deteriorating, Rico switches to a basic front facelock, using it to trap and wrench Alix's shoulder. This difficulty in her fight for freedom expands beyond belief, as she's now forced to fight back as a one armed woman. Desperation and worry lining her face, Alix tries to counter with a hip toss. But Rico stands frim, and effortlessly brings Alix back down to his level. He decides he's through with wasting his time with a submission hold, and would rather destroy her with his finisher The Mustache Ride. He roughly jerks her into the air, but at the very height of the move the agile lady shifts her body free and lands behind her foe! COLE Alix escaped the Mustache Ride! Enraged, Soul whirls around to decapitate Alix with a stiff spin kick. But The Hollywood Bad Girl is one step ahead of him, smashing his face with a crowd popping dropsault! As Soul topples over the culinary sensation speeds to the cables. Upon bouncing back she tries to scissor her silken legs around Rico's waist. While she encounters success in that attempt, Rico earns control of the exchange by gripping onto her legs and flipping her out into a waistlock. He then tries his damnedest to launch Alix into the stratosphere with a German Suplex! However the Rosie O'Donnell's favorite sports entertainer beautifully back flips her way out of disaster! Rico can hardly believe the resiliency of the champion and is beside himself with disgust. Guided by his anger and impatience, he blindly charges Alix only to eat a Burning Sensation When You Urinate (sunset flip piledriver)! "YAAAAAA!" The exhausted girl clamps down on Rico for what she prays will be the final pinfall of the contest. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! NO! Soul breaks up the pinfall, and the fans are beyond livid. Paying little mind to the pool of anger that swirls around him, Soul angrily tears Alix away from his injured partner, and hauls her onto his shoulders fro the Fro 2 Sleep COACH This is it! But Krista's powerful legs carry her forward, and with feral blue eyes blazing, she rips through Soul's unprotected midsection with a spear! The gladiators smash downwards, landing into a twisted jumble of exhausted bodies. But within the jumble is a pinning situation, as both Alix and Krista lie atop Soul. Silverman counts the ensuing fall, and a standing arena counts along with him..... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! The audience's cheers for the historic three count go beyond deafening, reaching points perhaps never before heard in n OAOAST ring. “C-O-D” chants are the order of the day, although it's questionable it their intended targets can even hear them. The sullen Wrecking Crew departs the cage, beltless and heartbroken for the first time since April. COLE Three titles have been united under one banner, and that banner is being carried by Chicks Over Dicks! What a historic match we've seen tonight. What great efforts by all six teams, and what an achievement by Alix and Krista. Hardly even aware of that achievement, the girls are much too exhausted to put on any sort of victory celebration. The most their able to achieve is a tender kiss on the lips, before their ragged bodies cede totally to fatigue. The steel structure that holds the victorious lovers raises towards the ceiling, and it's places comes a torrential downpour of pink and red confetti. The gorgeous celebration simply increases the joyful roar of the crowd who excitedly sing the names of the two champions. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner and first ever.... "You break the laws You hustle, you deal, you steal from us all Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Money talks" COLE What the hell? The unwelcome noise tailspins the crowd's mood into one of infuriation and the atmosphere turns markedly hostile. Trash and debris litter the entry way, once the doors part to reveal Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright, and a Siclopse toting Molly Nerdly. Clad in matching pinstriped business suits, Wright and Moneymaker sport grins of devious intent. As the three saunter down the entry ramp, Moneymaker holds a microphone in front of his lips, while Molly records the conversation for posterities sake. COLE Something tells me these guys aren't here to offer their congratulations. YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! MONEYMAKER “Your winner and first ever One and Only World Tag Team Chamipons, Chicks Over Dicks.” How I hate those words, as I hate hell, all lesbians. You see for the better part of the year I have poured a limitless amount of cash into schemes designed to get the tag titles away from Chicks Over Dicks, and burn these lesbian witches at the stake. Yet every one of my efforts ended the same. An escape by the dyke demon, and it's stranglehold on the OAOAST and America, growing larger then ever before. I, a billion dollar heir, come from a family of unlimited financial resources. But that does not deem me stupid or careless with my money. At some point I enjoy seeing a return on my investment. That is these lesbians choking on a river of blood, strapped to a stretcher, wheeled towards the nearest hospital, and their subsequent death pronounced to the rejoicing of millions of right thinking Americans nationwide. But thus far returns on my investment have been scarce. That ends tonight. Because tonight I take the reigns of history into my own hands! Tonight, myself, and Mister Wright, are the eighth team entered into this scramble cage match! Tonight, Mister Wright and I will become the first ever One and Only World Tag Team Champions! Tonight Mister Wright and I curse homosexuality to its grave! COLE No! “BOOOOOO!” Accompanied by the hatred of an entire arena, Wright and Moneymaker strut down the ramp with camera toting Molly filming the entire escapade. COLE This can not be! They...they...they...can not do this. COACH Yes! And why not? Finally, the titles are out of the hands of these scandalous performers, and into the hands of the gods, Mister Moneymaker, and Mister Wright. As Moneymaker gruffly demands a shocked Silverman into the confetti drenched ring, Wright stands above the defiled pairing, orating their demise. WRIGHT Such women are not fit to bear the prestige of championships. Weep for them, for they are lost! Observe well. Watch and mark you the suffering of those who must rule, yet lack the power. Their lives are forfeit, and their championships with them. The OAOAST will again know morality. For good and for all, we shall bring their futile attempts at sexual rebellion to an end. Like bullets dancing through the skies in a dog fight, bolts of debris criss cross the area surrounding Wright, mixing with the confetti to make the ring look like an overflowing landfill. But through the hellstorm of anger and garbage, stands Wright, a bastion of impeccable cool, as he places his boot onto Krista's chest. Unable to refuse Moneymaker's orders, a despondent Silverman scores the fall, as Molly zooms on Krissy's unmoving face. ONE COLE Somebody has to do something! TWO COLE No! THREE! The bell is rung upon Moneymaker's vehement orders. Past the stunned abhorrence of the audience, the billion dollar heir slides into the squared circle. His rugged facial features light up with the sparkle of diamonds, and tears of pride well in his eyes. Finally his summer long quest has come to a glorious end, and the joyful expression that marks his triumph will live forever in the footage of the Siclopse. Wright stands atop the third rope as proud and as arrogant ever, delighted to know he'll leave Minnesota with OAOAST gold in his possession. With great reluctance, Buffer rises to make the unwelcome announcement. BUFFER The winners of this match and first ever One and Only World Tag team Champions....THE ENTERPRISE! COLE I can't believe it. They weren't even entered into this match! They aren't even dressed to fight! And now they're tag team champions. Picking off Chicks Over Dicks like vultures. Like damn vultures. Exorbitant titles wrapped around the waist of detested villains. Molly beaming as she raises their hands into the sky. A crowd thrust into the pits of despair. Fallen heroines clueless and unconscious in the background. These are the final images before we fade out.

One And Only World Tag Team Title Scramble Cage Match Profile Brought to you by The Hills - The Complete Second Season on DVD Name: The Mardi Gras Home Wrekcing Crew Members:Lucius Soul & Rico De Janiero From: Rico-Rio de Janeiro Soul-New Orleans,LA Finisher:Coup de Mardi Gras Career Highlights:Current HI-YAH tag team champions One And Only World Tag Team Title Scramble Cage Match Profile Brought to you by The Hills - The Complete Second Season on DVD Name: Chicks Over Dicks Members:Alix Spezia & Krista Isadora Duncan From: Los Angeles Career Highlights:Three time OAOAST tag team champions. Krista-Best selling author, star of FIT with KID exercise videos, owns her line of top selling beauty products. Alix-Two time 24/7 champion, CEO of Miss Spezia's Sweeties, 2005 Women's wrestler of the year. COLE Folks, we'll be back with the historic match after this. COMING UP NEXT HISTORY IS MADE SCRAMBLE CAGE UNIFICATION MATCH FOR THE ONE AND ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES NEXT Classical music plays. THE VOICE~! It is the biggest main event in AngleSlam history. COLE Three men! One Title! THE VOICE~! And it will be for the richest prize in the industry. COLE The One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship! STAR WIPE~! HIGH OCTANE ACTION PACKED FAST PACED UP TEMPO ROCK MUSIC~! plays as clips of "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican, Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix, and Zack Malibu wrestling are shown. THE VOICE~! Three of the very best OAOAST Superstars will collide in a Triple Threat Match! Cut to a close-up of Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix. THE VOICE~! The Champion, Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix! Cut to Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix standing in front of a black background in his wrestling gear holding the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt. LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX There is NO WAY I am leaving Madison Square Garden WITHOUT the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title! NO WAY! Cut to a close-up of Zack Malibu. THE VOICE~! The former Champion, Zack Malibu! Cut to Zack Malibu standing in front of a black background in his wrestling gear. ZACK MALIBU I'll go through two men, I'll go through four men, I'll go through eight men, I'll go through FOURTY men if I have to! It doesn't matter, so long as I get the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title! Cut to a close-up of "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican. THE VOICE~! And the man who has never been Champion, "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican! Cut to "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican standing in front of a black background wearing a white collar shirt, a gold chain around his neck, a Puerto Rican flag bandana on his head, sunglasses, an earring on his left ear, black sports jacket, red tie, $500 Rolex watch on his right wrist, his engagement ring on his left ring finger, black dress pants, and black dress shoes. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN Get ready for the greatest Triple Threat Match of all-time! Cut to another montage of Zack, PRL, and Landon Maddix in action. THE VOICE~! It's going to be one wild night as we finish off the summer with a bang! Live from the World's Most Famous Arena, Madison Square Garden in New York City! Cut to Madison Square Garden. Cut to Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix. LANDON MADDIX Are Cut to Zack Malibu. ZACK MALIBU You Cut to "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican. THA PUERTO RICAN Ready Cut back to Landon Maddix. LANDON MADDIX Chumps!? Cut to another montage of PRL, Zack, and Landon clips. THE VOICE~! Fasten your seatbelts and buckle up, OAOAST fans! This will be a match you will never forget! The information for OAOAST AngleSlam 2007 appears on screen read by THE VOICE~! THE VOICE~! Chef Boyardee presents OAOAST AngleSlam! Sunday, August 26th from Madison Square Garden in New York City, New York! Live! ONLY on pay-per-view! Call your local cable or satelite operator to order now! The classical music starts playing again. We fade out. FADE OUT COMMERCIAL BREAK

heeheehe did I say friday? insane! I meant saturday. the other segment is in GCF anyway! Just go read it u pusses!

do not call me or I will box the shit out of you. i aint fukkin on this homeboi me means mainevent u can always call patty for hot sex

Yes

okay it's a two segment show! lolz but one segment (my scramble cage) ain't done yet, so I hope you enjoy your very special edition of Friday Afternoon (evening? for those who bang east) HD. am I talking to myself?

-scramble cage match obv. which is why I said don't call mainevent lest you wish to incur the boxing out of your shit. -Hey according to this thread it's a one segment show! I have both main event and opening! Whee!

Word to ya'll! some feedback time, As usual EWC does an excellent job with the layout. And all the post-match and pre-match banter between the announcers that he wrote was dope and really added to the show, plus it was very funny and made every match feel just a little bit bigger and more important. Niiiiiice. I've always been down with the James Riggs character, so it's good to see him getting some play. He and Heat seem to have chemistry in their feud, so I'm looking forward to the Summerslam bout. This match was a nice preview to it. Black looked like a baaaaaad dude on the show. He should be a solid character, but hopefully his addition to the roster doesn't make KC forget about the wonderfulness that is Biff Atlas. We only got one earth, ppl. Protect it. hey what the fuck are those thing sticking out of the arena's roof? wtf? wtf? I think I already told KC what I thought about his six man match. Good stuff, liked Moneymaker on commentary. Hey, I also already told Tony what I thought about the Holly promo. I get around! Holly has come a long way since whatever she was doing when I originally created her. I don't really remember what her original reason for existing was. Alf does battle royals really well. Better then I can do that's for sure. Reject winning was a bit of surprise. Does that make it heel/heel at AS? By the way, AS is already shaping up to be some pretty hot shit and we haven't even had one HD this month. Cortez as Zack's partner was some shocking ass shit! I thought for sure it'd be O'Hara until he got the crap stomped out of him, then I thought it would be Bo or even Black. I will never predict anything again! Nice promo before the match, and nice match during the uh...match. Yes. The O'Green is interested in seeing how Cortez proceeds from here. Hey, good show, best Syndicated I've ever read, of course I've only read three, but who cares?!

alright EWC make sure this goes somewhere after the battle royal, but BEFORE Black's first promo. Also put some space between it and the Bra and Panties match, but please make sure it doesn't go too far before Holly's interview, also make certain it goes on just a few segments after the six man title but not that close to the mainevent. Also Black's other promo needs to be placed at least three segments after this one, preferably four. Understand? I'm fucking w/u my I-95 gangsta this shit can go wherever. [color="#008080"][b][size=3]One And Only World Tag Team Title Scramble Cage Match Profile[/size][/b][/color] Brought to you by [b][color="#808000"]The Hills - The Complete Second Season[/color][/b] on DVD [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/dlux.jpg] [b]Name[/b]: D*LUX [b]Members[/b]:Tremendous Tyler & Showtime Shayne [b]From[/b]: Detroit, MI [b]Finisher:[/b]As Seen On 60 Minutes [b]Career Highlights[/b]:Three time HI-YAH Champions. Former American Idol Contestants. Japanese branch of fan club is over ninety thousand members strong. now here's the scramble cage match promo in case you need some filler between matches [size=4][color="#8B0000"][font="Arial Black"]Three Titles[/font][/color][/size] HI-YAH Tag Team Championship, WDW Tag team Championship, OAOAST World Tag Team Championship [font="Arial Black"] All alike in dignity In fair Minneapolis where we lay our scene From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean[/font] [font="Arial Black"] From forth the fatal brawl of these six foes [/font] [color="#0000FF"][font="Arial Black"]The Heavenly Rockers[/font][/color] [font="Arial Black"][color="#FF8C00"]WDW Tag Team Champions Team Heyross[/color][/font] [color="#A0522D"][font="Arial Black"]HI-YAH Tag Team champions The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew[/font][/color] [font="Arial Black"][color="#2E8B57"]D*LUX[/color][/font] [color="#000080"][font="Arial Black"]The South Central Militia[/font][/color] [font="Arial Black"][color="#FF00FF"]OAOAST world tag team champions Chicks Over Dicks[/color][/font] [font="Arial Black"]A group of star-crossed titles are unified[/font] [color="#008080"][size=5][b] One and Only World Tag Team Championship[/b][/size][/color] [b][color="#FF8C00"]HeldDOWN~![/color][/b] [color="#0000FF"][b]August 2nd, Minneapolis, Minnesota[/b][/color] [color="#FF0000"][b]Tag Team Scramble Cage Match to crown the first ever One and Only World Tag Team Champions.[/b][/color]

England not Ontario. I do believe posting duties are being handled by EWC.

If you'll pardon me, I have masturbating to attend to. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen it is time for our OAOAST World Tag Title Bra and Panties match! [b][color="#FF0000"] “YEAAAAA!”[/color][/b] BUFFER In order to win a team must strip both their opponents to their bra and panties! Now let's meet the challengers. [i]Date with the Night[/i] kicks in for what may be the first time in ages. But through the entrance doors comes not Jade Rodez, but eternal spotlight hogs, Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard. Fresh off their questionable victory from early tonight, the two boast Cheshire cat grins that aren't warmly received by the sold out audience. Ned, outfitted in a yellow and green polka dot suit, points to the part of his waist where his championship would normally rest, and screams “Still the champ, baby!” to the fans. Simon stands at his side, popping the collar of his bright orange silk shirt. The ever present Siclopse is being maintained by unpaid intern Molly Nerdly, who sports a green polo shirt and perfectly ironed khaki pants. COLE The Enterprise took their cheating to new and despicable lows earlier tonight, working to steal the six man titles from Leon Rodez and D*LUX. And as we see Ned, Simon and Molly come down for a match they're not even involved in, I think it's safe to say the tag titles, and by extension, Thursday's scramble cage match are definitely in jeopardy. Standing atop the entrance way with arms raised in worship towards the arriving competitor, the three blonds herald the emergence of Jade Rodez. As green and gold lights bounce across the venue, the much maligned young lady dips her feet into an ocean of hatred and disgust. Beyond a twisting curl of strawberry blonde hair lies a look arctic indifference, greatly contrasting the cries of praise heaped upon her by her teammates. The tight, form fitting pink tracksuit she wears, twists and turns with each contour of her comely body, as she stoically marches towards the ring. Her assistants in her quest for championship gold trail behind her, never once ceasing their words of encouragement. BUFFER First from Grand Rapids, Michigan, being accompanied by Ned Blanchard, Simon Singleton, and Molly Nerdly, weighing in at one hundred forty pounds, she is Jade Rodez! COLE Gotta say Jade Rodez didn't look all that confident heading into this match, but one look at her face and you'd never know it. She's an ice woman, and she'll need to be considering that her opponents are three time tag team champions, and her former best friends. Moneymaker has waged a war against homosexuals, and Jade is just his latest weapon. The announcement of her name is not warmly welcomed by the Londoners. However if that bothers Jade her apathetic expression certainly doesn't show it. Nor does the lazy, almost uncaring way she enters the ring and begins stretching against the ropes. The rest of The Enterprise positions themselves on the outside, applauding their associate. COLE As Moneymaker told us earlier tonight, this match will have a definite affect on the Scramble Cage match this Thursday. That is to say if Jade and Mackenzie win the Cage match is off, and an arrangement will be worked out with the HI-YAH tag team champions. The punk meets disco aura of Blondie's Call Me fills the night sky for the second time this evening. The reception for this instance's wrestler is slightly kinder then the one received by the Beverly Hills Blonds. As the powerhouse drumming booms along with a strobe of pink, orange, and red lights, images of Mackenzie DeCenzo's various business triumphs decorate the Synditron. But once the entrance doors part, it becomes apparent Mackenzie's isn't wearing anything fit for the board room! Her limber figure stands behind a wall of leather; black leather pants highlighted by a design of scorpion, and a button up short sleeve leather vest that hangs tightly over her desirable chest. Her hands flick through the elegantly curled heaping of her bleached hair as she journeys down the ramp. BUFFER And her partner, from Beverly Hills, California, by way of Princeton, New Jersey, she is a former 24/7 champion, and the chief financial officer of The Enterprise, she is MACKENZIE DECENZO! Mackenzie projects a graceful smile into the peering camera, then proceeds to skip down the ramp. Inadvertently her eyes gaze towards the more attractive women in the stands, a fact that certainly doesn't bode well when one figures her opponents are two of the most gorgeous women on television. COACH Cold blooded! Moneymaker a straight G, making Mackenzie enter by herself! But yo, if he don't want her working for him, I got a couple positions I could use her in. Naw mean? COLE You touched on a good point, this tag title match is going to be one hell of a test of Mackenzie's loyalty. Will she push The Enterprise's goal, or will she seek the freedom of Alix and Krista's lesbian lifestyle? Mackenzie slides into the ring, where she's greeted with an awkward nod from her disinterested partner. The other Enterprise's members, barely offer her passing glance, too concerned with making sure the Siclopse is properly set up. [font="Arial Black"][color="#FF00FF"]"C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!"[/color][/font] the audience now sings. Almost if on cue the opening spiel of [i]Girlfriend[/i] blasts into London [i][font="Arial Black"][color="#FF00FF"]Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend! [/color][/font][/i] The infectious bounce that characterizes Avril Lavigne's top 40 track [i]Girlfriend[/i] fills the arena with peppy brilliance, and draws a gargantuan amount of cheers from the now standing audience. As [color="#FF00FF"][b]pink[/b][/color] lights flicker illumination at the entrance stage, chants of “C-O-D” are already the order of the day for many fans. A [color="#FF00FF"][b]pink[/b][/color] pyro waterfall rains from the ceiling, connecting with a [b][color="#FF0000"]red[/color][/b] pyro fountain, both beautiful displays sprinkling the entrance way with shimmering sparks. Once the pairing subsides, a [b][color="#FFFF00"]golden[/color][/b] pyro wall engulfs the stage with it's tremendous size, leaving behind a thick haze of simmering smoke in it's wake. Through the build up of smoke appears the gorgeous image of Krista Isadora Duncan. The viscous vixen is attired much differently then usual, high heeled legs that are typically roam free from a mini skirt, are now shielded behind diamond encrusted leather pants, and her splendid upper body fills out green tye up t-shirt. Alix, in casual prep attire of heavily flared A&F jeans, and a pink and white stripe polo shirt, bounces from the entry doors, whipping the raucous crowd into further frenzy! COLE These London fans are on their feet for COD! COACH Even the ones who are sitting down are standing up! Myself included. And speaking of standing up, you need to stand up and salute Mister Moneymaker for bringing us our first ever tag title bra and panties match! Krista uses her strong arm as an impassable obstacle, halting Alix in her tracks. With Alix temporally subdued, Krista brings her hands over Ally's head and gently slides her warm touch down her back, before vigorously thrusting her saucy girlfriend into her arms. Giggling at Krista's show of affection, Ally turns over her shoulders, brushes a strand of her brown locks out her face, and tosses a bewitching kiss to the camera. Cute super imposed [color="#FF0000"][b]red[/b][/color] lips to pop on the screen. BUFFER And the champions.... “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” BUFFER .....first, from Los Angeles, California, she is two time twenty four seven champion, the CEO of Mrs.Spezia's sweeties, The Hollywood Bad Girl, ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! And her partner, from Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, a fitness queen, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, she is Miss California Krista Isaodra Duncan! Together they are three time OAOAST world tag team champions, America's Sweethearts, and Hollywood “It” Girls, Chicks Over Dicks! COACH Get up, Cole! Get up you damn ingrate! Get up and offer thanks to our lord, our king, Mister Moneymaker. Because of him we will now behold the hottest, sexiest match in OAOAST history! Get up and praise, Mister Moneymaker! He has earned his place with the gods! I, Coach, declare Mister Moneymaker, a deity! An epic revolutionary of sports entertainment, and a paragon of American morality. Tonight, Cole, tonight, Moneymaker begins his conquest of the universe. COLE What are you talking about? It's the four women who are fighting! COACH But Theodore Moneymaker orchestrated the brilliance, as only a God can! He aligned the heavens, and he will send the lesbians to hell. But not before they get naked and makeout. Hands joined in loving matrimony, Ally and Krista skip down the ramp. Alix waves and tosses appreciative kisses towards her legion of loving fans, while Krista simply twirls her hair around her finger, and stages a smile of devilishly charming arrogance. COACH My word, Cole, what a humble, humble, god, our lord, Mister Moneymaker is! What wonderous gifts he gives us unworthy mortals! COLE I'm the gay guy and even I think you sound wild homo. You act like you'd rather see him in his underwear then Alix and Krista Alix positions herself on the ring apron, while Krista slides into the ring. The houselights go up and the match seems ready to get underway COLE This isn't your typical wrestling match, so COD's advantage isn't quite as strong. Jade and Mackenzie just need to get them into positions where they can get rid of their clothing. [b]DING DING DING[/B] The contest begins with Krista squaring off against Jade. Or a highly reluctant Jade. Given that she spent the better part of the past two years worshiping the ground Krista walked on, only to turn around and align with the Antichrist without a hint of explanation, Jade isn't exactly sure how to gage Krista's rage-o-meter. The cool smirk on her face, certainly doesn't make it any easier. Thus all Jade can do is meet Krista for a very tentative lockup. Miraculously, Jade is able to snatch Krista into a hammer lock. Stunned by her achievement, J-Ro mouthes words of congratulations to herself. Unfortunately the self satisfied distraction weakens the grip, and allows Miss California to easily escape the hold. Krista's bubblegum pink lips shoot a condescending smile towards the now vexed Jade Rodez. “LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!” Despite her exacerbation with Krista's glee, the teenager only meekly steps into another lockup. Unfortunately, she simply gets fireman carried for her efforts. As the Englanders applaud her defeat, Jade's ill temper grows worse, and she rips her body off the mat to offer a more vehement challenge Krista. However, the SoCal queen easily counters her effort by grabbing onto her pink tracksuit and flipping her over with another fireman's carry. COLE You don't see too many fireman's carries in these types of matches, Coach COACH And I hope we don't see any more! I didn't pay to see the moves of the nineteen eighties, I paid to see half naked women, Cole. COLE I don't think you [i]paid[/i] to see anything! “Let's hear it for Jade!” Krista shouts in mock encouragement. “SHE HAS GONOHRREHA! SHE HAS GONOHRREHA!” the Londoners sing back. “Alrighty, let's hear it for a little less information next time” Krista replies. The rage inside Jade builds to an unstoppable crescendo, and her Nike Air Max's carry her forward in a boiling fury. Yet, her assault is quickly grounded to a halt by a third fireman's carry. The second Jade's limber figure hits the canvas, the audience resumes chanting Krista's name. This does not sit well with Jade, and facial features form a disgusted frown. COACH Enough of the “How to wrestle” instructional tapes! Let's get down to pimpin! Heeding Coach's advice, Krista grabs onto Jade's bleach blond hair and drags her off the mat. She grins devilishly as her hands eagerly rove across the velor fabric of Jade's track suit. But before Krista can even attempt to free Jade's melons from their tight constraints, her former protege begins rifling punches into her midsection. The impact of the blows is fierce enough that it forces Krissy to cease her assault on Jade's clothing. The sullen diva acts quick, and hooks her foe into a front face lock in preparation for a DDT. But that move never comes to pass, thanks to Krissy effortlessly countering her into a northern lights suplex! J-Ro lands in whimpering, pink,and blonde heap. But her misery doesn't there; Krista rolls through the move, bringing Jade back to her feet. Fortunately for Jade, Miss California doesn't use a second northern lights suplex. Unfortunately for Jade, Krista's fingers claw at her pants with a ferocious craving. The audience (and Ned) emits a shout of excitement, as the slightest hint of the raspberry colored Brazllian cut panties that frame Jade's lean ass is finally given. Red in the face in sheer embarrassment, Jade demands her Enterprise mates come and rescue her. “I hall save thee! Viva La Singleton!” Simon declares, shortly before Ned gives him a sneaky little shove to the ground. COLE Ned just tripped his own partner, who was going to go help his own stable mate! COACH Simon tripped! The man has trouble with balance, he's got aspergers syndrome. Realizing that her rescue ship sunk before it left the dock, Jade is left to mount her own frantic defense. She digs into Krista's flashy t-shirt, and tugs with a herculean effort. The Londoners cheers magnify at the possibility of seeing Krista's bodacious mammaries in addition to Jade's tush. COLE Krista's shirt is by Topless Californian, and we're about to see a topless Californian if Jade has her way! Actually, Jade doesn't have her way, as Krista destroys the steamy flesh tease by dropping Jade into a lion tamer. The nineteen year old bellows terrible cries of pain, as the pain instantly shoots through her back. Krista feels enough of a soft spot for her old friend to ease up on the hold. Seconds later, she's forced to relinquish the move altogether, when she spots the bothersome Singleton on the ring apron. With two great strides of her long legs, Krista ventures towards Si's location and feels him with a single slap! Si topples to the floor, where his booming thud is met with chants of, [b][color="#4169E1"][font="Comic Sans MS"]YOU GOT BITCH SLAPPED! YOU GOT BITCH SLAPPED![/font][/color][/b] Molly takes umbrage to Krissy's actions, “You can't do that to Simon! He's a pillar of the community!” “Ha! And you must've done a pillar of crack to actually think that!” The blonde beauty leaves Molly to seethe on the outside, and returns her focus towards her in ring rival. However, Jade used the distraction provided by Molly and Simon, to recover her strength, and stuns the Hollywood covergirl with a spear. Though the blow was delivered with great speed, it did little in the way of damage to Krissy, and she hastily attempts to scramble to her feet. Yet, the severe grip Jade applies on her sun streaked locks keeps her grounded, and she's drawn into a world of pain when the youngster begins slamming her face into the sweat stained canvas. [font="Arial Black"][color="#FF8C00"]"LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!"[/color][/font] the fans sing, led on by Alix. The repugnant odor of the mat coupled with the harshness of Jade's attacks harms Krista greatly, and her wearied face is thrown into a fit of coughing. A chill settles over Jade's mind, as she watches her ex-mentor struggle horribly to hang onto her fleeting air. Smirking coldly, J-Ro steps forward and implants her Nike tennis shoe into Krista's midsection. A heartwrenching wail of pain leaves Krissy's lips, and broadens the smile of Jade's deep red ones. Now seeking to repay Krista's for the earlier embarrassment she struck her with, Jade's hand journey towards the back laces of Krista's top. She summons a savage growl, as she tugs on the top string, stretching the thin fabric well beyond it's tolerance. The capacity crowd is roused into raucous cheers simply by the emerging sight of Krissy's sculpted abs. The fitness queen tries to make certain that's the only of thing of her's that's getting shown, violently rebelling against Jade's invasive grip. But the Grand Rapids native emphatically magnifies her efforts, and more and more of Miss California's kissable skin is exposed, much to the delight of the fans and Mackenzie. COACH Check it out! Trapped within Jade's merciless whims, Krista arches backwards to hinder her relentless mauling. What fabric that isn't hanging in shreds, stretches taut into her sides. Her holstered breasts fight for freedom from the constraining ill-fitting top, leading a squeal of discomfort to spill from Krista's mouth. She mounts a mammoth struggle to break free of Jade's bonds, but her fiery foe continues tugging. Finally, Krista exerts a last ditch effort, and simply implants her high heel shoe into Jade's forehead. Cursed by an enormous headache, Jade painfully staggers away from her victim. Her teary eyes impair her vision, and force to stumble into mischievous domain of Alix Spezia. Ally is quick to make good on that promise of mischief, grabbing Jade's track jacket and gingerly tugging it onto her head. With the shirt mashed against her bleached hair, wide tear soaked eyes, and expression of manic anguish, Jade appears like Beavis in his Great Hornholio routine. Of course this isn't lost on the mocking Alix, “I am Cornholio! I need T-P for my Bunghole! You will give me TP, bungholio! Are you threatening me? My people need holio!” While Jade doesn't have any “holio” or “T-P” she does have the slightly more annoying problem of Krista whipping her towards a vacant corner. Jade's back smacks against the steel padding, but she has little time lament her fate, given that the beach babe is darting towards her with a body splash. Thankfully for The Enterprise, Jade uses her basic wrestling ability to evade the incoming covergirl. She positions her self atop the second turnbuckle, and as Krista nears, she dives forward with a sunset flip! With Krista stunned by the sudden shift in positions, Jade immediately sets herself to the task of ridding her of her pants. Eyes flaming with wild hunger, Jade restlessly tries to dig through the rhinestone encrusted fabric. Her efforts yield a scintillating glimpse of the sparkling black panties that are scarcely large enough to be considered a necklace. But the audience is treated to no more then that, as Krista uses her superior strength to power away from Jade. Both ladies rush to their feet at the same moment, but it's Jade who strikes first, lobbing a lariat towards her foe. Yet even with half her ass hanging out, Krista is able to summon enough speed to duck bellow the incoming missile. Jade clumsily teeters forward as a result of the avoidance, but composes herself quickly enough to unleash a discus lariat. Unfortunately the strike is savagely snuffed out by an enziguri from the former beauty queen. The crowd responds to the attack with a sizable pop, not so much because they've been dying to see an enziguri, but because the abrupt motion of the strike jerked down Krista pants to reveal even more of her lusty BUTT. Overcome by frustration at not being able to best her ex-friend, Jade smacks the canvas in...uh...frustration. The Brits aren't sympathetic to her plight, and greet her anger with a chorus of jeers and taunts. This only serves to further her annoyance, and she continues pounding the canvas. Unlike, the spectators, Krista feels a pang of pity for Jade, and decides to lend her a hand. “If you want something done right...have Krista do it” she comments, shooting Jade a smile of superior victory. She reaches behind for the clasp of her t-shirt, arching her back out and causing her enormous tits to jut out to the incredible glee of the fans. With a single swipe of her hand, the tattered shirt flutters away from her chest, unveiling her massive tits, encased in a very sexy, lacy black bra. The bra lifts her already perky breasts and pushes them together forming an impossibly deep cleavage where the ample flesh of her upper breasts welled up against each other. The skimpy bra is magnificently low cut affording an wonderful amount of bronze flesh for the cheering audience to feast their hungry gazes upon. On the ring apron, Makcenzie fans herself in effort to keep from fainting. Back in the ring, Jade's inability to accomplish what Krista did in two seconds, causes her to tailspin into another temper tantrum. COLE Krista just took off her own top, setting her team at a disadvantage! COACH I'd drop the full thirty thousand G's to get the sex change to hit that! No homo. While the London chapter of the Gay and Lesbian education network hoots and hollers, Krista melons sway and bounce in stunning display as she ventures towards her corner. A tag is made with the fully clothed Alix Speiza, and the the roar of the crowd expands exponentially. Fixing a frost bitten stare upon her former friend, Jade tries to gain the upper hand by clubbing Ally as she enters the ring. But Ally is much too quick for her foe, and blocks the strike with a back elbow. Clutching her burning face, Jade teeters into the ropes, where she pleads for help from her mind numbingly terrible Enterprise mates. Once again it's Simon who dutifully answers the call to arms, returning to the ring apron to wage war with COD. With casual grace, Alix simply grabs onto his rat's nest of hair and roughly begins hauling him over the ropes! As the Hollywood Bad Girl begins yanking out more and more of his hair extensions, his screams become more pronounced, leading Molly and Ned to lend him assistance. “YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I ATTENDED A SEMESTER OF COMMUNITY COLLEGE!” Simon bellows. Molly and Ned latch onto his khaki pants and a grandiose game of tug of war ensues. As Simon is pulled every which way by friend and foe alike, he's debased into a sobbing wreck. Eventually the combined power of Molly and Ned is enough to win Simon his release. Unfortunately the combined power of Molly and Ned is also enough to yank off his pants, revealing his Kim Possibile(!!) [color="#9932CC"][b]panties[/b][/color] to the world. Even the male members of the London chapter of the Gay and Lesbian Education Network can't helped but be repulsed by the horrific sight, because man, Simon ain't all that good looking a dude. Yes homo. Sitting in shock, Molly wonders, “Uh, sir, far be it for me to question your glorious wisdom, but uh....” “Why the hell are you wearing panties, numbnuts?!” Ned shouts. “Because it's a bra and panties match. Obviously.” [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/gif2.gif] Meanwhile, Jade tries to ignore the terrible fact that she's being assisted by the worst incompetents money can buy. She latches onto Ally's leather bracelet covered wrist, and attempts to haul her into the ropes. But the brunette hottie reverses the hold with unerring ease, and it's J-Ro that's send hurtling into the cables. Upon Jade's return, Ally's ADIDAS tennis shoes flash towards her with a lethal superkick. But Miss Rodez evades the move by sweeping bellow Alix's fast approaching foot. Rather then continue a run to the ropes, the Michigander comes to a full stop. She whirls around, and ambushes Alix with a surprise side headlock. While Ally's fabulous brown locks spill across her arm, Jade nods her frowning face towards the corner. She then breaks into a full charge, seeking to obliterate Alix with a Stratusfaction. But, right as Jade nears the ring posts, the SoCal honey latches onto her waistband and violently heaves her into the turnbuckles! To the mammoth pleasure of the capacity crowd, the youngster is crotched on the steel ring posts! [b][color="#8B0000"]“ALIX! ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!”[/color][/b] Pain is written across the countenance of Jade Rodez, and her agonized screams fill the British air. Unfortunately, the pain simply grows more harrowing, as Alix bends her backwards into a tree of woe position, and begins rifling a hellstorm of stomps into her stomach. Jade puts forth every effort to fight past the strikes, but they fall with such ferocity that there's little she can do but whimper and complain. Finally Alix ceases her stomp fest. But there's no reprieve for J-Ro, as the culinary sensation attacks her shirt with alarming barbarity. Again, Jade tries to fight back but there's little she can do against Alix's power, and the track jacket discarded with little difficulty. The fans' eyes almost explode from their skull as they take in the fantastic image of Jade's firm rack in the sexy white sports bra. The way the bra barely contains her magnificent tits, and the way her hard nipples poked through the sheer fabric, spread thrills throughout the deepest recesses of their hungry minds. Alix earns further cheers by taking the top, stuffing it between her legs and riding it across the ring like a horse! [color="#FF0000"][font="Arial Black"]ALIX! ALIX! ALIX![/font][/color] Jade isn't exactly thrilled that Alix's actions have made it so that her breasts seem in mortal danger of spilling out her delicate top, and she shoots daggers towards her once good friend. Alix simply shrugs and says “ Jade, possessions are fleeting, but the knowledge that men around the globe masturbating to you will remain in your heart forever.” Ally's helpful advice doesn't do much to alleviate Jade's annoyance , and once The Enterprise gal composes herself, she stands up to gain vengeance on her enemy. Miss Rodez and her gravity-defying breasts, zoom towards Alix with the intention of mowing her down with a lariat. But Ally handily avoids the strike, latching onto Jade's bright yellow hair and using it as a catapult to toss over the ropes! Thanks to blind luck alone, Jade somehow manages to land with her feet on the apron. She quickly recovers from the harrowing shock of nearly being splattered onto the mats, and scampers onto the ring apron. When Alix moves to shove her from her perch, Jade acts face and slices a shoulder block into her midsection. The shot leaves Alix doubled over and wheezing, a perfect position for Jade to take advantage of. She grabs a clump of Ally's curled hair, then leaps backwards, taking herself off the ring apron and to the outside mats. The result of this is Alix's throat being lacerated against the harsh cables. The fans cheer, not because they've turned on Alix, but because Jade's bouncy little (or big) fellas continue to fight for sweet glorious freedom from her undersized bra. Uh, not that that even matters! What does matter is that Alix has made a speedy recovery from Jade's cheapshot, and strikes her former “Second Best Friend Forever” with a baseball slide dropkick. Jade is flung backwards, and her impeccably rounded breasts further squeak through the flimsy bra. While the crowd marvels at the jacktastic sight, The Hollywood Bad Girl follows Jade to the outside. This prompts Molly to tell Ned, “I really think you should be doing something.” “I'm not paying you to think.” “I'm an [i]unpaid[/i] intern, sir.” Grumbling something about smart mouth Canadians, Ned gives into Molly's request, and goes to assist Jade. Problematically, he doesn't get very far as he trips and falls flat on his face. His wounded face turns towards a confused Mackenzie, and explains that he tripped over his shoelaces. He's wearing sandals. With no help on the horizon, the detested heel does the only logical thing, [b][color="#FF0000"]RUN LIKE HELL[/color][/b]! The fans despise this act of cowardice mainly because Jade has the audacity to cover up her heaving pleasure mounds, dashing the dreams of chronic masturbators everywhere. Alix gives chase, inexplicably laughing like Elmer Fudd as she does so. J-Ro weaves past an array of camera man, who seek to capture her moment of topless humiliation and dives into the ring. As Alix stalks her trail, her worry struck eyes look towards the nearest exit. Unfortunately for her it happens to be fiercely guarded by one Krista Isaodra Duncan. “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” the audience bleats. With all methods of escape blocked off, and her tag team partner, and allies turning more useless by the nanosecond, Jade is forced to stand and fight. She rifles a knife chop towards her adversary. But given that she's more concerned with keeping her boobs from bursting through her bra, then doing any real damage, the strike is delivered with very little force. Thus Ally catches onto the attacking arm and punishes her with the [color="#4169E1"][b]True Life: I just got beat up by a girl[/b][/color] (STO). Jade's bra suddenly becomes the least of her worries, as a flash of blue hot pain spreads through her body. In celebration of her signature spot Alix chants “We're here, we're queer, we're gonna get up and cheer! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” “Straight people, it's okay, you can cheer to!” [color="#FF0000"][font="Arial Black"]ALIX! ALIX! ALIX![/font][/color] Ally positions herself above Jade, and lets her hands alluringly explore the curled tresses of her brown hair, as the beautiful picture of her writhing and gyrating body sensually seduces the audience into an orgasmic trance. Unfortunately all this taunting has granted Jade the time she needs to recover. Too Alix's amazement, Jade laces her legs around Alix's arms, then clamps down onto her super flared Abercrombie jeans. Jade uses the binds she has on Alix to suck the tag champion into a rollup! Somewhere Moneymaker is going into cardiac arrest, thanks to the fact that the move causes Alix's face to be lost within the perfection of Jade's crotch! [b]“YEAAAAA!”[/b] COLE Oh my! “Ewww, Jade. There's this new invention called the shower, you should take one someday!” Having Alix at her mercy, arouses the primal fires in Jade. With inhuman ferocity she plows through the jeans to reach the beautiful BUTT that yearns to be free of it's denim restraints. Just the thought of getting to see Alix's scrumptious BUTT delves the crowd into a state of aroused frenzy. As she feels a cool breeze kiss the skin of her now exposed tush, Ally pleads with her old friend. “Hey, I was only kidding about the shower thing! It's great down here! Yum, yum, part of a balanced breakfast.” Alix's ass kissing (vagina kissing?) fails to achieve it's intended goal, and thankfully for the fans, the topless Jade continues her maniacal attempt on Alix's three hundred dollar jeans. With demonic determination, Jade wrenches Alix's pants further down her silken legs, finally rewarding the audience with the holy grail of the B&P match: Alix's phenomenally juicy ass, and it's gorgeous cheeks framed by a meager lace thong. The hellish battle to prevent Jade from whisking away her clothes, has the unintended side effect of causing Alix golden brown orbs, and Jade's bursting hooters to jiggle and jounce their way into masturbation hall of fame. The audience rocks the arena to it's very foundation with enthralled cheers, while Jade finally yanks the clunky jeans past Alix's tennis shoes! COACH That broad is serious, god damn! COLE I'll tell you what else is serious, Jade and Mackenzie are in the lead! Jade dismounts Alix, and slams the jeans onto the canvas in an act of rebellious triumph. A self congratulatory smile takes hold of her blood red lips, as the audience now stains her with hatred. Alix sits on her knees, shoes pressed into the lusted after steamy ass cheek, breathing heavy from having been lost within the valley of Jade's crotch. Grand Rapids most famous daughter can't help but rub salt into Ally's wound, and steals one of her favorite moves, [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/HaydenPanettiere_BringItOn.gif] Pleased with her victory over her constant failures, Jade figures she's worked hard enough, and applies a tag to Mackenzie DeCenzo. Amidst the murmur of anticipation from the sold out audience, comes Mackenzie's reluctant cries of “No.” Jade doesn't bother listening to her qualms, instead stepping out onto the ring apron, and coldly ordering her into the match. Mackenzie's aversion refuses to subside, and she adamantly protests the tag. COLE This is supposed to be a test of loyalty for Mackenzie, but she's not looking terribly loyal right now! Ned screams these words of “encouragement” to Mackenzie, “Think about life without The Enterprise! Mid sized sedans, possibly even used, a townhouse in a suburb of [i]Baltimore[/i], not DC but Baltimore, eating out at chain restaurants, or even worse having to do your own grocery shopping!” I'm going to have to assume it was the thought of living near Baltimore that did it, because for whatever reason Mackenzie finally steps into the squared circle. Alix's dour mood improves drastically, at the sight of the leather cover Mackenzie, and her warm smile welcomes DeCenzo towards the ring. COLE Mackenzie and Alix had a brief run in for the 24/7 title early last year, but things have been pretty good between them lately. And things are about to get pretty hot between them now! Despite being overjoyed at seeing Mackenzie, Alix doesn't exactly roll out the welcome mat for her, instead spearing her to the canvas the second the valet takes her first steps. Flustered by the sudden attack, Mackenize quickly scampers upright, only to find the playful Miss Spezia swinging a knife edge chop her way. With cat-like quickness, Mackenzie offers her left hand in defense, and uses her right to grab hold of Alix's free hand. She then attempts to launch Alix into the nearby cables with an Irish whip. But the SoCal sex kitten's superior wrestling ability reverses DeCenzo's move. Rather then send her into the ropes, the thong bound Alix roughly drags her to the canvas with a short arm spear. Again, Mackie makes an attempt to scurry upright, but Ally dives onto her, locking her into place. COACH And now it gets hot Cole! The buxom brunette's tone legs slither against Mackenzie's lithe figure, electrifying them both with an erotic charge. Mackie emits a wall shaking moan, as Alix's oiled flesh wantonly massages her curvy body. The warm skin is flush with desire and inflames Mackenzie's feral instincts. So enraptured by Alix's touch, Mackenzie's offers scant resistance towards the sultry vixen's bid for her top. She simply purrs in exultant release, as Alix's finger tips work their way up the rigid outlines of her stomach muscles. Soon Alix's delicate hands seize the buttons on her shirt, and tweak them apart. Sharp bolts of pleasurable pain smash into Mackenzie's head, as Alix's dominant fingers pump through submissive chings. The piece of fabric finally comes free, and flitters to the wayside. Two beautifully rounded breast bounce heavily into place, plump knockers that jostle against each other and shine with a wet gleam of perspiration. As the fans burst into an outpouring of cheers for the latest showing of skin, Alix gazes longingly at Mackenzie's unnaturally gorgeous body. “Hmm. That was easy.” Alix comments. A sly predatory look falls over Alix's visage, and she shimmers down Mackenzie's feet, to free her majestic legs of the far too constraining leather pants. A thunderous scream of excitement speeds through the stands once Alix bends over and affords the audience with a cameltoelishcous view of her luscious g-string cald ass. She tugs onto the rhinestone waistband, showcasing the faintest glimpse of Mackenzie's shimmering panty framed BUTT cheeks. But, before the home viewing audience can be given reason to make a mad dash for the bottle of Johnson and Johnson, Mackenzie snaps out of the erotic stupor Alix lulled her to, and viciously begins fighting back against her aggressor. COACH I guess Mackenzie just realized the value of not spending the rest of her life living in a cardboard box. I love a good cat fight! Her manicured hands curl around Alix's streaming locks, and promptly yank on them as though they were weeds to be torn from the dirt. The Hollywood Bad Girl is shocked into shouts of discomfort by Mackenzie's actions. COLE I thought Mackenzie... COACH Hey, I'm sure she does have a crush on Alix and Krista, but puppy love can't pay the light bills, baby. Now sit back and think of ponies or Usher, or R.Kelly, or whatever it is you think about at smoking hot moments like this. Summoning a tone of steely rage, Alix slashes her talons through Mackenzie's platinum strands. As the women fight fire with fire, the crowd remains red hot, thanks to Alix's nearly bare BUTT and Mackenzie's enhanced rack, bouncing and swaying with each tousle and struggle. On the outside Ned implores Molly to capture this on the Siclopse, but she maintains that they're creative efforts would be better served exploring the Natterjack Toad's sexual habits as it relates to the stages of the moon on days of increased bio hazardous health warnings. In order to assist Mackenzie in her lopside war with the champ, [b]Jade[/b] darts into the ring, and kicks Alix in the BUTT. The sudden shot takes Ally off balance, which allows Mackenzie to capture her into a school girl. “LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!” Pleased with her trickery, Jade quickly departs the ring. And wisely so, as Krissy seems remarkably eager to get a piece of her. While referee Clem Buzzlefoxer, tries to clam Krista down, Mackenzie works to take advantage of the assistance her team mate offered her. Unfortunately, Mackenzie is a slave to her sexual desires, and instead of pillaging Alix's polo shirt, her watering mouth greedily directs her hands towards the spicy Latina's underwear. Her carnal lust screams towards epic proportions, as her hands peel away the lone barrier that blocks her from the goldmine of Alix's mouth watering thighs Embarrassment worms onto Alix's face, and she squeaks while trying to prevent herself from falling prey to Mackenzie's fleshy yearnings. COACH There's nothing under there! Go Mackenzie! Go! COLE How is trying to take off a lesbian's underwear proving her loyalty towards her homophobic boss? Robbing the midnight chokers of a perfectly good fantasy, Ally powerfully kicks out of Mackie's clutches. However she isn't quite free of Mackenzie's inflamed passion, and The Enterprise's personnel director makes a desperate lunge for her lean body. Ally counters Mackenzie's efforts by leaping onto the second rope and spring boarding back with a Thez Press! The babes endure an excruciating plummet towards the floor,and crash with a resounding thud. Despite the searing landing, Mackenzie is all sinful giggles, as Alix's heavy breasts caress her blissful face. Mackenzie exhales a deep moan of pleasure as her face is enfolded in the warm, fabric coated flesh of Alix's perky boobs. Realizing that Alix is in the perfect position to strip Mackenzie bare, Jade returns to the ring and rolls Mackenzie into a opportunistic position. Unfortunately, that position lasts for no more then two seconds, before the champ puts her ring saavy to good use and mounts Mackenzie again. Alix has nary a second to stage any sort of attack on DeCenzo, before The Enterprise's numbers advantage disrupts her offense. Simon (still in Kim Possible panties) journeys to the ring apron, where's he met by a plethora of boos from the inebriated British audience. While he can brush aside the fan's hatred, he can't quite brush aside the super kick Alix uses to terrorize his jaw! Singleton is flung from the ring apron, and his trip through the sky is joined by a rousing ovation from the crowd. “Oh no the bitch did not!” Molly wails, a crazed look of violence distorting her face. As Alix returns her attention towards Mackenzie, Molly hurries up the ring steps and onto the top rope. Her eyes narrowed into slits of sinister determination while she shifts her body to the face the now standing crowd. Unfortunately for Molly, members of that standing crowd have informed Alix of her actions. So it should come as little surprise, when Ally makes a bee line for Molly's position. Her hands coil around the waist of the Nerdly girl's khaki pants, and in one brilliant flourish the clothes rest in a beige heap around her ankles. All that's left in their wake is a shrieking Molly, a hooting crowd, and the cutest, tightest, ass in all of Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. I suppose that may not be saying much, but it's still a cute BUTT. Ever the connoisseur of a fine backside, a giggling Ally gives Molly a playfull swat on the BUTT. Unfortunately this results in Molly being thrust from her nest on the turnbuckles towards the mats bellow. Thankfully for the unpaid intern, her fallen hero and his strange undergarments do an excellent job of breaking her fall. “Whoo-hooo! Everyone sucks but me!” Alix screams. “Oh, and England to!” “YEAAAA!” “Nah, I'm kidding, you whiteboys suck ass!” “BOOOO!” “April fools!” “BOOOO!” “Why are they boooing, Krissy?” “Because it's late July, stupid!” COACH I gotta get me an unpaid intern. I wonder how much one costs. Shrugging her shoulders at Simon's predicament and her inability to decipher the human calendar, Ally returns to fight/molest/be molested/ by Mackenzie. But her opponent continues to move with fantastic barbarity, and seizes on Alix's polo shirt as though they were engaged in a blood thirsty hockey brawl. The pink and white stripes on the shirt strain heavily under Mackie's pull, presenting the audience with their first view of Ally's tight tummy. Mackenzie's bountiful bosoms bounce fabulously with each exertion and pull. Poor Alix is helplessly slung from side to side, her bra coming undone before it even has a chance to to be see daylight. COLE Mackenzie is just going to town on Alix's shirt, and I can't believe it due to a deep desire to become a tag team champion! Al snaps her hands around Mackenzie's wrist, slowing her wild tugging towards a tolerable pull. The thonged cutie uses her strength advantage to pull away her sexually charged foe's hands and capture a bit of much needed freedom. The freedom is short lived, however, as Mackenzie's maniacally resumes her quest to reduce Alix to a state of near nudity. The culinary sensation counters this latest assault, by taking firm grip of the fiery Italian's attacking arm, and driving her downward with a single arm DDT. As the move was utilized more to subdue then hurt, Mackenzie isn't left in an unbearable amount of pain, but she is debilitated enough to grant Alix her sought after break. Having been sufficiently WORN THE FUCK DOWN by Mackenzie, Alix applies a tag to her girlfriend. The observers cheers are earth moving at sight of Krista Isadora Duncan. Unlike Alix, Krista is in perfect shape, and is more then willing to indulge Mackie's curiosities. Her ultra thick California accent comments to Alix, “Guess what we're having for dinner tonight?” “What?” “A little Italian.” She replies, washing Mackenzie with a provocative stare. At Krista's request a production assistant hands her a microphone. “Alright, Back in 99 I had to convince my mother that I was actually straight, which forced me to swap spit with [i]that thing[/i]” She points to Ned “for the better part of thirteen months, so maybe my judgment is a little off, but I gotta say Ally, you're a pretty good kisser. But, we're in England...” [font="Georgia"][color="#A0522D"][b]“YEAAAA!”[/b][/color][/font] “And even though as an American I live in constant fear that King George and his red coats are only seconds away from robbing me of my precious freedom and overtaxing my tea, I figure I have to try some new English things. When in London, do what the Londoners do, right? And what do Londoners do? If softcore lesbian pornography on Youtube hasn't lied to me, it's have multiple sex partners. Soooo, Mackenzie, you and Ally looked pretty good competing together, I'm sure you wouldn't mind another competition. How about a kissing contest? And who should be the judge?” COACH Me!!!! Fans, female and male alike, zealously present themselves as possible candidates. COACH Yo, look at that West African bitch in the front row, actin a fool. Probably got that instant aids, stick your tongue in that watch your whole head blow up. Krista proclaims “I know, I'll be the judge! Mackenzie, gimme some sugar.” The invite is far too hard for Mackenzie to resist and soon enough her deep red lips send sparks of pleasure into Krista's bubble gum pink ones. Her lusting tongue gently coaxes her lovers lips to part with a soft moan. Mackie's touch is deliberately slow and sensual, damp where her pink tongue slides over the supple curves of Krista's hungry mouth. Mackie's flashes of touches and teasing tongue lashes, leaves Krista a needy, pleading wreck. One moment Krista feels the blonde delicious licker pleasure her mouth, the next it's slithering out dragging with it a strand of spit that stretches across Krista's glistening lips. Mackenzie leads a lick as nasty as whip, yet infinitely softer over the runaway strand to carry every every last drop of her taste back into Krista's mesmerized mouth. Weakened by the raw sensation of the liplock, Krista can barely herself away. “Um, Alix, your turn!” "ZZZZZ" “You'd be surprised how often that happens.” Krista laments Ned senses that Mackenize is on the verge of fully switching sides, and attempts to win her back by reminding of her how awful life would be without the money of The Enterprise, “Fridays! Olive Garden! Ruby Tuesdays! Dennys! Applebees!” “No! Not Applebees!” “Yes! [font="Arial Black"][color="#0000FF"]Applebees![/color][/font]" “APPLEBEES WHORE! APPLEBEES WHORE!” the fans in the front row shout. The thought of having to spend the rest of her days coupon clipping to eat at Applbees, seems enough to motivate DeCenzo to advance the cause of The Enterprise. A saddened apology is heaped upon her makeout partner , before she's forced to resume the devil's handiwork. Her platformed boot flicks forward, slashing Krista's bare stomach, and doubling her over in agony. With Krista momentarily crippled by the strike, Mackenzie grabs hold of her wrist and attempts to toss her into a neutral corner. However, Krista uses her considerable agility to shift the momentum of the move and deposit Mackenzie into the corner. DeCenzo suffers through a harsh collision with the steel posts, but feels nothing but joy as her ocean blue eyes drink in a charging Krista's swinging breasts. However, Mackenzie tempers her arousal, and quickly scampers to the second rope to blast Krista with an axe handle smash as she nears. But, Krista's agility continues to overwhelm her; the fitness queen does handstand atop the second rope and laces her diamond encrusted leggings around Mackenzie's neck! COLE Here's a move we don't see to often from Krista's arsenal! COACH Arsenal? Moves? They need to get Caboose back. A man who wears that much makeup has gots to know a thing or to about bra and panties. While Krista's sparkling noose attempts to annihilate the whimpering DeCenzo with a handspring frankensteiner, her victim exerts a considerable amount of energy to remain upright. Her hands frantically flail through the air, signaling a need for help. Jade moves speedily to answer Mackenzie's emergency call. Covering up her near pointless bra, Jade rushes towards her partner's location where her free hand works as an anchor to hold the platinum blond into place. With Jade attending to her basic need to survive, Mackenzie's insatiable sexual appetite forces itself into the drivers seat. Primal lust flickers into her eyes, as she wastes little time in digging her hands into Krista's pants. Within seconds Krista's humiliation reaches endemic proportions, and she stages a powerful battle to keep her pants around her waist. The audience bestows the thought of Krista's half naked body with an enormous cheer. “If I wasn't hanging upside down by my underwear, I swear to god I would kill you all.” she coldly informs them. Mackenzie's smoldering eyes narrow into a lusting glare, as her ceaseless violation on Krista's modesty rewards her with an up close view of the busty blonde's decadent legs. Fondling Krista's rapidly exposed inner thigh, Mackie marvels at the mesmerizing combination of bronze skin, taut muscles, and glistening flesh. Despite Krista's crazed rebellion, the pants continue to effortlessly sail down her legs. The jumbled wad of leather now acts as a subtle guide, pulling the viewer’s gaze upward over her calves and creamy thighs until it fixates on the delectable helping of ass that squeezes a sparkling black thong. Smiling in unbridled desire over the heavenly beauty that lays before her, Mackenzie fully shreds Krista of the unneeded clothing. The dripping hot beach bunny's million dollar body now rests behind two skimpy pieces of fabric and the audience couldn't be happier. Stock prices of Kleenexx and Vaseline intensive lotion rise 40% as Krista's lingire encased figure leads teenage boys into freshly minted manhood. Krista looks like this [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/charkini.jpg] COLE Wow! Alix's shirt is the only thing keeping Mackenzie DeCenzo and Jade Rodez from being new tag team champions. Although, I must say Krista's outfit is really more of a bikini then a bra and panties and set. And to me... COACH The hell is wrong with you? I don't care if she's wearing two pieces of bubble wrap! She's hot! Thrilled with their achievement, Jade releases Mackenzie's leg to applaud her efforts. Unfortunately Jade's restraint was the only thing preventing Mackie from getting Frankensteinered half way across the ring. And without Jade's clutches then, well, it's not exactly happy landings for The Enterprise's CFO! Grousing about her misfortune, she begins to scrape her carcass off the canvas, extending her arms towards Jade for a badly needed tag. Problematically, her bikini bound rival utilizes a schoolgirl that pulls her dangerously far away from her corner. But her inability to tag Jade, pales in comparison to the problem of Krista violently yanking her pants away from the slender hips they hug so tightly. While all this is transpiring, the camera wisely focuses on Krista's bronze tush to polish off the older viewers who have tried to withold penile release by using age old techniques of thinking of the usual assortment of unsexy things: Joe Perry, Nolan Ryan, Barbra Bush, I Love Lucy.. it's no use. The thong is all tiny, everything is riding up, her flawless ass all writhy and wriggly and it's Krista's being the gnarliest ,hottest vixen on TV. And if that weren't hot enough, in one fell swoop, Krista glides Mackenzie's pants into a useless puddle of leather on the mat, leaving their former owner a brilliant image of bra and panties majesty. Statuesque long legs that trace a beautiful path to a tight round ass are now fully visible, and the crowd greets them with rousing ovation. For the visually inclined she looks like this: [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/mackiebikini.jpg] Mackenzie's exposed flesh burns with the fire of embarrassment and arousal. She finds it difficult to concentrate on anything as her sensuous body screams out the new sensations it experiences. COACH Krista getting rid of Mackenzie's dirty laundry, and I wouldn't mind taking both them asses for a spin cycle or two. Though Ned has successfully avoided any confrontation with his child's mother thus far, he realizes he can longer avoid the “baby's mama's drama” , and throws himself into the squared circle. Whether his motivation stemmed from a new found desire to actually be of some use, or stemmed from the fact that said baby's mama is no longer wearing any clothes, the world may never know. My guess is the later! Regardless, The Handsome Hustler enters the ring and seizes hold of Krista with a rear waistlock. Given that her bottom is clothed by what's basically a cocktail napkin with strings, this waistlock is far more pleasurable then usual. Krista fights against his perverse clutches with a round of furious elbow strikes But not even Patton's army could keep the sex crazed Ned from pumping his crotch into her supple bare ass cheeks. Annoyed to no end, Krista rids herself of Ned's unwanted presence by simply rocketing her high heel shoe into his testicles. The second the spiked heel hits him, Blanchard instantly releases Krista, and trembles in crippling pain. He's too dazed to prevent Krista from draping her arm over his shoulder, and can do nothing more then scream in terror as she back flip onto her stomach, forcing him to go airborne with her. Blanchard is deposited into a forward roll, brutally landing on his back at the hands of [b][color="#800080"]Everybody hates Kris[/color][/b] (back flip rock bottom). The ring ripples beneath the monumental impact of Krista and her mangled adversary. [b][color="#8B0000"]"KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!"[/color][/b] One person who isn't so tickled by Krista's dismantling of The Handsome Hustler, is Jade Rodez. As her sports bra continues to fail it's mission to hold her heaving boobs, J-Ro darts towards to Krista with the intention of catching her off guard. But it's [i]Jade[/i] who gets caught off guard by Alix, who uses her juicy tush as weapon of (m)ass destruction, knocking Jade off her feet with the world sexiest BUTT bump. [b][color="#8B0000"]"ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!"[/color][/b] While the fans and Alix may have discarded Jade to the scrap heap, Simon understands that her pants are the only thing keeping The Enterprise in the tag title hunt. Thus, the world's biggest Kim Possible fan, springboards himself into the ring with an axe handle smash! Ally side steps his oncoming bomb, leaving the six man champ to aimlessly teeter forward. He quickly whirls around to plant Alix with a discus punch. However his strike is delayed by Ally grasping onto his silk dress shirt. In one blink and you miss it motion the fancy garment is torn from his body, leaving behind a....training bra in it's wake? [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/hamster.gif] “PUT IT BACK ON! PUT IT BACK ON! PUT IT BACK ON!” the fans demand of the embarrassed six man champ. “Now look, I can expla...” [font="Comic Sans MS"][b][color="#008080"]DIAMOND CUTTER!![/color][/b][/font] by Alix. COLE A thirty two year old man, with a jeri curl, kim possible underwear, and a training bra? I wouldn't hit that if I could borrow your penis. [i]Blanchard[/i] rampages towards Alix. However, the sultry babe simply leapfrogs his charge. Not dissuaded by the avoidance, The Ned Man simply swings around to retry his murderous attack. This turns into a severe error in judgement, as Alix counters the attack by striding forward, wrapping her arms around his waist, flipping into the air, and liquidizing his skull with the [size="2"][b][font="Verdana"][color="#FFFF00"]Burning Sensation When You Urinate![/color][/font][/b][/size] (Sunset flip piledriver)! [b][color="#8B0000"]"ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!"[/color][/b] COACH I've been feeling a burning sensation all match! But nothing like that. Desperate to acquire some manner of revenge for her earlier humiliation as well as for the drubbing of her employers, the bottomless Molly ascends to the highest turnbuckle. The audience rises to their feet, murmuring in anticipation over the possibility of a high risk assault. Molly doesn't disappoint, and with a feral scream, she launches herself at Alix with a body splash! But she lands across Alix's smooth shoulders in a standing fireman's carry position. As her look morphs from one of defiance to fear, her hands frantically slash at the baby oil glazed skin that keeps her aloft. No luck. Alix lifts her from her shoulders, and drops her stomach first onto her knee. COACH Not fair! You can't treat the unpaid labor like that! Molly's exposed bottom glistens enticingly under the hot arena lights. Cackling with glee, Alix arches back with her right and brings it smartly against her creamy, smooth, alabaster buns. The sound of her palm meeting her warm flesh and scream, more of fright than pain, resounds throughout the arena. The cheeks of her ass rippled beautifully. Ally runs her soft hand over the already reddened buttocks in a soothing motion. Then suddenly she reaches back once more and delivers the next stroke a little harder, over the middle of her ass crease. The loud THWACK reverberates around the arena once more, but this time the little honey remains stoically silent, emitting only a throaty grunt in response to the growing pain.The audience was goes wild- this is well beyond what they had hoped. Alix continues to spank Molly at will, raining down blows. COLE Weren't you saying something about this not being fair? COACH Hey she's not Union, do what you want, Alix! Acting more out of jealously towards Molly then any sense of sisterhood, Mackenzie dives upon Alix, crashing her away from her panting victim. The busty beauties lunge themselves into a monumental battle for dominance. Their silky legs intertwine into a ribbon of golden brown beauty, as their hands feverishly weave through each other's spiraled strands. With flaming desire, they wiggle fervidly in their snarl, legs tangled in a delightfully sensual coil, sharing touch and taste. Finally the pairing dribbles from the ring, spilling onto the outside mats, where the front row audience is given the ultimate feast for the eyes. Back in the squared circle, the contestants have been reduced to Jade and Krista. Thanks to the sudden disappearance of every last one of her allies, Jade's confidence has taken a noise dive into oblivion. COLE Well, if Jade wants to win this match she needs to somehow get to Alix and get at her shirt! Jade is keenly aware of this fact and speedily works to achieve such a task. She grabs hold of the official's arm, and launches him like a missile at the approaching Krista. But the bikined Californian sidesteps the frail referee, and continues her charge towards Jade. J-Ro swings her heel around to blast Krista's pretty face with spinning back kick! However KID catches the incoming shoe and drives it harshly towards the canvas. The rough counter throws Jade off balance, and sends her hot pink coated breasts wobbling across her chest. [color="#FF0000"][font="Impact"]K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D![/font][/color] Jade recovers enough of her strength to lash back at Krista with a sloppy jaw breaker. Though the move is nothing pretty it staggers the blonde bombshell away from her overmatched rival. But that distance quickly evaporates once Jade dives upon Krista with a forearm smash. Yet, KID counters the attack by grasping onto Jade's track pants and lifting her into a flap jack! The crowd popping move causes Jade's neck to be lacerated by the coarse ring cables and she immediately stumbles through a fit of violent coughing. COLE A flapjack onto the ropes is an excellent move to use in this type of match. It's possible it can cut off the breathing of your foe, and as Coach can attest to it's easier to take the clothes off an unconscious woman then a conscious one! Krista seizes on the opportunity Jade's affliction has presented her, and ties her hands around the girls' smooth stomach. The fleeting feel of Krista's soft orbs tickling her flesh, is quickly overshadowed by the horror of the older woman dragging her down with a rollup! Instantly Krista's naughty fingers dig at the remains of the track suit, eliciting a yelp of worry from their wearer. [size="2"][b][font="Arial Narrow"][color="#8B0000"]“YAAAAA!”[/color][/font][/b][/size] the fans shout in horny anticipation of Jade's panties. Jade sharply kicks free of the hold, throwing herself upright in order to generate distance between herself and her aggressor. Unfortunately her sudden ascent comes conveniently at the same as Ned's sudden ascent, and the two members encounter a head on collision! Though Blanchard is simply pushed into the ropes, the much smaller Jade is gift wrapped to the salivating Krista. With a lighting quick flash of her hands, Krista pries away the fabric lock, and unearths the treasure of Jade's perfect heart shaped BUTT! Away goes the cocoon of clothing, and in comes Jades magnificent splendor of ass. As her firm and muscular BUTT beams proudly on display beneath her animal print panties, the fans let loose a monstrous cheer of approval. Jade's reaction is much less excited then the crowd's. She wails in annoyance and in frustration, unsure of rather she's directing her anger towards Krista, herself, or her near useless “help”. COLE And it is all over, ladies and gentlemen! Chicks Over Dicks have foiled another one of Moneymaker's plots! And that means we will definitely see the Scramble Cage tag match this Thursday! And what a match that will be, history will be made. COACH Who cares about cages and scrambles? We oughta have this type of match every week! COLE Hey, I'm all for D*LUX against The Gunslingers in a bikini briefs match! As Alix joins her in the ring, Krista gingerly launches Jade's pants into the congregation of Orthodox Jewish Lesbian Optometrists gathered in the front row. Realizing that she's the only one still fully clothed Alix decides she doesn't want to be left out of the party. Thus her polo shirt is tossed aside, and viewers are treated to this image: [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/allycat3.jpg] Syndicated ratings plummet as masturbators everywhere change their pants turn in for the night. COLE I don't quite think Mackenzie returned to heterosexual team with this match, but after awhile, she certainly did her part to win the tag titles for The Enterprise. Is it enough to save her job? That's up to Moneymaker. But I will say she did a hell of a lot more then Ned Blanchard! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the winner and still OAOAST world tag team champions.... CROWD [font="Arial Black"][color="#FF00FF"]C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D![/color][/font] COLE Fans, another fantastic victory for Alix and Krista, their first in a bra and panties match.

I'm right here! My match will be in GCF in about three or four minutes. Sorries for the lateness!

!jfk!