Patty O'Green

which is in Birmingham, alabama, but I do not kno the name of the arena. sad

i thoughtfully muse that espn.com's Scoop Jackson could very well be borderline illiterate, thus will not enjoi this show as I have as I am not borderline illiterate ".....all of us, for too long now, have looked past all of this and validated what I've said my whole life: "Pimpin' ain't easy, the media is just scared." lol what also Jay Marioti has alleged Frank thomas wished to sodomize him w/a bat.

"PHP has encountered an Access Violation at 01BA6F7B" the fuk? fall back lil homey. The color scheme on this section is superhyphy. I just wanna say that. I like the inclusion of that introductory YouTube video, on the comments page some dude was all like "copy and paste this to 10 videos or your mum will die within the next 4 hours" now I am most shook. I'm sorry mama, I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to make you cry but tonight I'm cleaning out my closet. As I once told KC I like reading the WDW shows, they're fun, relaxing and easy to get through. Triumph had good matches all around, and good fued advancement with Strutter/TK, and Team Heyross who are hella sketchy dudes. Very nice show, especially when you consider it was written by two people. That's a pretty monumental effort. I write one paragraph and I get bored. Maybe I need to stop selling my ADD medication. Anyway much respect to Alf and KC for putting in work week in and week out. And respect to Alf for keeping this whole thing organized and flowing pretty much all by himself.

Naw for real, bloods, GAB is June 24 from the Verizon center in DC sometimes called the chocolate city. Send everything to Tony, I would think.

Chicks Over Dicks-Girlfriend (or turn on your radio!!) D*LUX-Be the first to believe HeldDOWN theme song-Party Like a Rockstar (once again just turn on your fucking radio!) Leon Rodez-Rock the casbah (Trust Company) Lonestar Gunslingers-Thriller (Fallout Boy) Jacob Cross-Wherever I may roam WDW EDITION JUMBO-Sweet home Chicago Nate Black-Chelsea Dagger Deuce Deuce Gigolo-Just a gigolo Vinny Valentine-Disco Duck (if you only download one song this year make it disco duck)

Respect. Now for musing. But not thoughtfully. Already told Tony what I thought of his match. Was excellente, very well written, lookin' good, and if you know like Patty knows then you know 149 is very excited about this feud, which always leads to high quality writing. Really enjoyed that Rodez/Moneymaker match. The Billion Dollar Heir wrestled like a total asshole, which is exactly what we'd expect of him. Really makes you want to see him get bodied by LeeLee in the end. Every week Bo's trying to boss PRL like he's nothing to him, then PRL pulls it out in the end. Insane war to parrot 149's comment. Entertaining mainevent between the poster boy and the longest reigning champ in historie. Nice to have AS get in there as he and Zack seem to have a strong bond. No homo. I can't believe it's been three years since Zack won the title. Now all is right in our little pocket of the universe. And I do mean little. Actually I half expected Drek to eek out another victory, but it's only fitting Zack becomes the first ever three time OAOAST world champ.

If you used quotes in one of your segments and you don't see the quotes on the show then fuk u. But also the board wouldn't let me make any posts with quotes in it so I had to take quotes out and use quotation marks but mostly fuk u

CREDITS: me and me alone!!!

THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD If hip-hop really is dead like Nas says, then the OAOAST and the Shop Boyz are pissing on the grave with Party Like a Rockstar. The club anthem booms along with the opening entrance video which features the characters in locations specific to their personality. Such as Jacob Cross slumped over a bar counter, Alix sunbathing on the beaches of Southern California, Simon in the locker room holding his trusty Siclopse, etc,etc, etc. When that ends we're see the logo. FEMALE VOICE OVER And now, courtesy of Budweiser Select, The OAOAST, and The Bancorp Sotuh Arena it is time for HeldDOWN! "Getting Away With Murder" hits just as the clock hits (insert HeldDOWN~! posting time here), and the fans ERUPT as the OAOAST looks to start this post-School's Out edition of HeldDOWN~! off with a bang! COLE Welcome fans, to HeldDOWN~! I'm Michael Cole, alongside the Coach, and we are now welcoming the NEW World Heavyweight Champion! Zack steps out onto the ramp, dressed casually rather than for battle, with the OAOAST World Title slung over his shoulder. As the pyro showers down over him, Zack takes the belt in his hands and raises it over his head, drawing another loud reaction from the OAOAST fanbase before heading to the ring. COACH Back where it belongs, baby! Zack walks to the ring, slapping some eager fans' hands as he makes his way, and then hops into the ring to get a handshake, and the microphone, from Michael Buffer. The music fades out, but the crowd response does not, as they're more vocal than ever, chanting for their hero. "THANK YOU ZACK!" "THANK YOU ZACK!" "THANK YOU ZACK!" COLE Listen to the fans, Coach! They're thanking Zack for becoming World Champion once again! The honor and prestige of the OAOAST World Championship has now been restored! MALIBU Thank you! Thank you all. All I have to say is one thing...the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship is HOME! *crowd pops* MALIBU Now, I don't mean home just because it's around my waist again, although that's the best feeling in the world. I mean home because this belt once again signifies the honor, the commitment, the work ethic of not only myself, but for everyone standing behind that curtain right now. Whether they're my friend or my enemy, the people in that locker room back there give one hundred and ten percent each and every time they set foot out here, and they do it for YOU! So you should be thanking them, thank them for making the OAOAST what it is! What Drek Stone tried to do to this company, to this belt...he tried to destroy the honor and integrity of this company...he tried to destroy our morale, to tear us apart from the inside, and now, Drek Stone, YOU'RE the one on the outside looking in! You're a footnote, a memory, a bad turn of events that we're putting behind us now, because Zack Malibu is ONCE AGAIN the OAOAST World Champion! A FIGHTING World Champion. An HONORABLE World Champion. I won this belt for the guys in the back that bust their asses day in and day out. I'm not going to run from responsibility. I'm not going to milk my time at the top. I EARNED it, and I'm going to be a fighting champion for all those who have earned their spots. Guys like Bohemoth and Leon Rodez and Tha Puerto Rican and... "REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH" COLE What!? COACH I think Zacky forgot one! All heads turn to the entrance way, Zack's included, as "Personal Jesus" by Marilyn Manson powers through the audio system. Hands on hips, annoyed at the interruption, Zack glares as eventually the doors part and the boos ring out for Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix as he emerges onto the stage! Maddix tilts his head to the side as he stares into the crowd, feigning hurt that the crowd mercilessly boo his mere appearance before giving them a very clear 'up yours'. As Landon then makes his way towards the ring, we see Megan Skye following, proudly clutching the Money In The Bank contract in her hand. COACH Baton down the hatches Mikey! It looks like it's time to take this one to the bank! COLE That's a terrible pun. COACH Hey, that's what they pay me for. Into the ring climbs Landon, opening up his fancy Real Madrid training tracksuit top and flaunting the SWF World Heavyweight Title around his waist. Landon then enters the ring, motioning for Zack to calm down as he asks for a microphone from the floor. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" Landon waits for a little decorum, Zack looking at him through narrow eyelids waiting for him to start talking. Neither seems to have much patience. MADDIX Well well, long-time no-see everyone! Glad to see you've all missed me so much in my absence. (rolls eyes) Anyway, thankfully, the absence is over. The waiting is over and Landon Maddix has returned... and for that, you all have this man to thank! Landon points to Zack, who's growing more and more impatient by the second. MADDIX I sense an air of relief around here all of a sudden. An air that's been missing recently from what I've seen. I've been paying close attention you see. Well, to the parts that matter that is. Not all of these Dancing Dragons and Environmental Activists and that crap, but the top of the mountain. The OAOAST World Heavyweight Title situation. And finally, the doom-clouds have moved away from the OAOAST. Because finally, the World Title has returned! Finally, there's a World Champion that... well, let's just say, finally there's a World Champion. Period. I may not like you Zack, but at least you exist. COLE Good point. MADDIX Now, as I'm sure you're all aware, I happen to be the SWF World Heavyweight Champion. Still. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX So here we are, two World Champions, live on HeldDOWN~! A perfect opportunity fo... ZACK Look, is this going anywhere? Cut off in his stride, Landon glares at Zack. MADDIX Haven't you ever heard of the saying, "You don't rush greatness"? "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX Yes, this is going somewhere Zack. You see, I've been over at the SWF, defending my title. Biding my time. Waiting, a little impatiently I might add, for the OAOAST's World Champion to show his face. Because, way back at AngleMania, I became "Dinero Del Señor En El Banco!" Or, for all of you gormless wonders sitting there with blank looks on your faces, "Mr. Money In The Bank". Megan, show them the contract. Doing her best 'Price Is Right extra' impression, Megan shows off the humble sheet of paper, with Landon adding the staged 'ohhs' and 'aahs' for posterity. MADDIX This guarantees me a shot at that OAOAST World Title whenever I so desire. And as I've been waiting to tell the holder of that belt for months now, I don't intend on sitting on this contract. I'm certainly not going to hang onto it until the last possible quarter of an hour of the contract's life to cash in like you did, oh no. The past month, I've been forced to sit on this thing because YOU didn't get the job done at AngleMania and the supposed World Champion didn't know how to combine wrestling stardom and mainstream popularity, like a certain SWF Champion not a million miles away. Well, I'm officially putting you on notice. Winning the OAOAST Title is my ticket to immortality. And it's a ticket I'm anxious to get... ZACK SO DO IT ALREADY!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" ZACK You're here, I'm here, we've got about a dozen referees in the back. You think you're frustrated with Drek not being around!? This title is MY legacy! MY ticket to immortality! And I'm not going to sit on this anymore than you're sitting on your contract. So, if you want me... Suddenly, Zack pulls off his t-shirt, sending the paramedics into 'high hysteria alert'. ZACK ...then I'm not hard to find! COLE Alright, here we go! COACH They're not seriously going to do this now, are they!? It certainly seems Zack is ready to go, dropping his microphone and encouraging Landon on... ...as he shakes his head. MADDIX Easy Rambo. We all know you're feeling high and mighty now you're the conquering hero of the OAOAST. But I think you've misread this situation. I mean... I'm ready and willing to cash this contract in, but... not TONIGHT. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" MADDIX Come on Zack, you're not wet behind the ears when it comes to this World Title lark. You know as well as I do, me cashing this title in tonight is going to stop ol' AngleSault from cashing in big buyrates. No no, if I'm cashing this Money In The Bank in, I'm doing it when it's worth the most to me. "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" Over comes Megan, whispering something in Landon's ear. A big smile creeps over his face which he tries to wipe quickly, trying to put his poker face on as he stares Zack down again. MADDIX How about this Zack? How about, you and me, on the big stage? ZACK And what do you mean by that? MADDIX What I mean is, if you're really the fighting champion you're pledging to be, then I'm challenging you to prove it. I'm challenging you to defend that title against me at The Great Angle Bash! I'm cha... ZACK You're ON! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Woah! No hesitation whatsoever from Zack! Landon's smile re-appears as he and Megan exchange a look. Zack looks confused for a second, but shakes it off. MADDIX So, I take it you're accepting? ZACK Damn right! You want a shot, you've got it! MADDIX Well, that's all I needed to hear! You, me, D.C, I'll see you then. Probably best we leave the handshake for now. I'm more than happy to take you on your word... HAHA! Landon drops the mic and off he and Megan go, drawing another confused look from Zack. The SWF's Power Couple stroll off arm in arm looking mighty pleased with how that all went, not concerned that "Getting Away With Murder" has started up to allow Malibu to soak up a little more of his moment. COLE What a way to kick off HeldDOWN~! and what an announcement that is. First time ever, Zack Malibu one on one with Landon Maddix, live from our nation's capital at The Great Angle Bash 2007. We'll be back with more HeldDOWN~!, after these messages! COMMERCIAL

The (TV) screen goes black, and the following appears on the screen. The following announcement was paid for by World Domination Wrestling. Soft music accompanied by wind instruments plays, and a spotlight slowly raises over an all black wrestling ring with red ring ropes. (voiceover) In the beginning, the land was pure. Even in the early morning light, you could see the beauty in the forms of nature. Head shot of Alfdogg looking off into the distance. Soon men and women of every color... Shot of an Asian man doing martial arts poses in the shadows. And shape... Shot of an overweight tattooed man wearing colorful clothing. Would be here too. And they would find it all too easy sometimes not to see the colors... Shot of Chris Stevens smashing said tattooed man from behind with a mirror. ...and to ignore the beauty in each other. Shot of Alf delivering a beltshot to CWM. But they would never lose sight of the dream. Head shot of Jamie O'Hara looking off into the distance. The bitter world that they could unite... Shot of Team Heyross looking at each other, then turning to look at the camera with a smirk on their faces. And build together...in Triumph. As the last line is spoken, a camera shot from the ground is shown with a red tint, with Rick Heyross, Alfdogg, and Axel standing left to right and looking down into the camera smiling. The screen then fades into another announcement. World Domination Wrestling presents: WDW Triumph Coming Saturday, June 2 Can You Feel It? The show returns from break focused on the ring, the typically beige mat has been replaced with a blue one littered with sponsorship logos, outside the ring rest a gang of paramedics and various medical professionals. Beside them are photo journalists, all here to capture the images of the boxing match that is closing out a wrestling show. AsCPA has no actual entrance music it is up to Patty to use creative liberties and find a hot song. Thus a young African American woman performs a monologue over the loud speaker I used to think about immature things Y'know like, do you love me? Do you want me? Are you gon' call me like you said you would? Is this really your real phone number? Wait a minute motherfuckers! After Lil Jon's bombastic proclamation, the remix of Rich Boy's Throw Some D's bombs across the arena. Parting entrance doors reveal a wealth of trainers, cutmen and various hanger ons, all outfitted in white workout pants and mesh white t-shirts that read ENTERPRISE in bold gold letters. One man who isn't outfitted in such attire is tonight's primary pugilist , Craig Patrick Allen. A red robe, featuring a glittering cursive ENTERPRISE hangs off his shoulders, partially cloaking the gold trunks he wears. At Allen's side is Ned Blanchard, attired in a bright purple suit and yellow lensed sun glasses. The Handsome Hustler offers encouraging words to his associate, who greets them with smirks and nods. Buried behind this wealth of bodies is Jade Rodez, clad in her black tracksuit. Though she's very blond and very pretty, there's a cold stoicism in her appearance. COACH Are you ready for some boxing, Mikey? COLE No, no, I'm not. Craig Patrick Allen has been a training partner to such boxers as Lewis, Holyfield, Tyson, Tua and George Foreman, above all that he has a professional record of sixteen wins and zero losses. His sixteen wins are sixteen more fights then Shayne has ever been in his life. I like boxing just fine, what I don't like is that Jade Rodez has abused the fact that she owns D*LUX's contract and has put them in this match. What's the purpose? Shayne pinned CPA fair and square at School's Out, why does he have to be put in the middle of this insane match? And if he tries to back out of this match, he'll be suspended for six months! It's disgusting. How can she live with herself? COACH Pretty easily when you're on Moneymaker's payroll. Into the ring comes CPA. His robe is discarded to the floor and quickly removed by his cornerman, Ned Blanchard. He tosses phantom punches into the air, as he imagines his fists removing Brave's head from his neck. "JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT! JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!" The audience moves to their feet, the females amongst them pouring grand cheers onto the soon to be arriving boxer. From parting entrance doors emerges the red and white trunked, Shayne Brave. The blond youngster tries to put on a look of enthusiasm, but one gaze at the incredible animal that awaits him in the ring destroys that effort. His entourage is much smaller then CPA's. Tyler Bryant, in jeans and white Billabong t-shirt, stands at his side, shaking his head in sadness. Outfitted in an empowering business suit and black sun glasses, Krista stands none to pleased with the thought of Shayne having to face this much larger foe. Brave's cornergirl, Alix Spezia, outfitted in a vintage black Jarri Kurri LA Kings hockey jersey and destroyed jeans, seems to be the only one with a positive spirit, as she makes insane proclamations of a first round knockout for Shayne. COLE Poor Shayne. COACH Poor Shayne? COLE Hasn't Jade done enough to these kids? Blindfold matches, now boxing matches? She crushes their heart and soul, why crush their bodies as well? What's the point? What is she getting out of all of this? Her behavior just makes me sick, and she used to be such a nice girl. COACH Now, she's a smart girl, Cole. A smart girl. And one with a great sense of humor because this is going to be hilarious! While his ragtag group of supporters positions themselves beside his corner, Shayne meekly steps into the ring. Shouts of “You fucked now, son!” from Ned Blanchard do little to ease his anxious mind. Krista tries to plead with Shayne to go down on the first punch, which prompts Tyler to sadly remark that he'll probably do that whether he wants to or not. Michael Buffer steps into the ring to give the audience the introduction to the unusual bout. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen of Tupelo, Mississippi, the OAOAST, in conjunction with The Enterprise is proud to bring to you twelve rounds of championship boxing. Tonight's judges are Tony Brannigan, Randy Savage, and Gangrel. COACH I can't really see this fight going to the judges. BUFFER The referee for tonight's contest is Terry Taylor! Not distracted by the “Billy, point to the place on the doll where Terry put his penis” sign a fan is holding, the completely unqualified referee states the rules. TAYLOR Alright gentlemen, it's like this, no three knockdown rule, no saved by the bell, rounds are two minutes a piece, watch bellow the belt, watch the headbutts and let's have a good clean fight. BUFFER And now introducing the warriors in tonight's competition. Standing to my right, in the red corner, he stands at five nine inches and weighed in at one hundred eighty pounds. He fights out of the Motor City, Detroit, Michigan, with a professional record of zero wins and zero losses, he is SHOWTIME SHAYNE BRAAAAVE! “SHOWTIME! SHOWTIME! SHOWTIME!” the fans sing, although their cheers aren't enough to the wipe the gloom away from his face. Terry Taylor's attempt to pat Shayne down for illegal weaponry is halted when Alix calls him a "fat faggot", prompting a debate between she and Krista over whether it's appropriate for lesbians and bisexuals to use such terms. BUFFER And the opponent, standing in the blue corner. He stands six feet six inches and weighs two hundred eighty pounds. He fights out of The Collection Agency by way of Youngstown,Ohio, with a professional record of fifteen wins and zero losses, he is CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN. "I'ma whup yo ass, boy! You ain't got nothing on me!" CPA screams across the ring, doing absolutely nothing to cure Shayne's fright. COACH Lennox Lewis said that Allen hits harder then anyone he's ever sparred with before. You thought that he was just some street thug bouncer, Cole. How wrong you were, how wrong you were. COLE I've always given CPA his due, I thought he had a good chance of being on the winning side at School's Out, unfortunately he came up a bit short and somehow we've wound up with a boxing match because of it! Taylor calls for bell, thus beginning the inevitable death of Shayne Brave. DING DING DING ROUND ONE Shayne's expression is one of utter horror. As his lips quiver, and his stomach churns, images of the millions of brutal knockouts, and bloody massacres that could befall him tonight, flash into his skull. The macabre pictures are enough to motivate the boybander to beat a hasty retreat. Unfortunately the threat of suspension and the two hundred eighty pound road block known as CPA are suitable deterrents to his wise escape. Thus it's with heavy heart that he slogs his way towards the center of the ring. His trembling hands hold his gloves in front of his face, but they do nothing to shield the right jab that smacks onto his cheek. A left follows shortly thereafter, tagging the side of his head. The piddly shots sting worse then bullet wounds, and Shayne immediately moves into a clinch to afford himself a moment to rest. CPA will have none of this, however, and angrily shoves the smaller fighter away from him. His left hand then slices through the air with an uppercut, but Shayne pulls his head away from the attack that could've knocked his head into the heavens. CPA is left off balance by the miss, and Shayne sees this as his moment to strike; the Detroiter comes roaring in with body blows that land perfectly onto his rival's ribcage. COLE Shayne hitting him in the early going! Doing well on the judges scorecards but is he doing damage to CPA? “SHAYNE! SHAYNE! SHAYNE!” the audience chants. Shayne's offensive flurry is short lived however, as CPA backs him off with a gruff shove. Steeling his courage, Shayne retries his strikes, but pays for his bravery with two thudding left jabs. Shayne wilts under the searing pain from the simple blows, and leaves himself open to trifecta of body blows that nearly cave in his midsection. He staggers backwards, pure pain outlining his countenance. Sensing blood in the water, the predatory CPA moves in for the kill. But once again, Shayne resorts to the clinch to evade a gruesome knockout. This time CPA is far more underhanded in his method shattering Shayne's hooks; with a savage cry, he slams his head into the bridge of the boybander's nose! “BOOOO!” yell the fans, while Terry Taylor threatens disqualification. Shayne cries out in agony, and collapses to the floor, marking the first official knockdown of the contest. COLE That can't count, it was an illegal blow. COACH Don't tell this highly qualified referee how to do his job, Cole. Thrilled with the success of his cheap shot, CPA parades around the ring, shadow boxing towards the hostile Tupelo audience. As Shayne writhes on the canvas, Taylor stands above him, making the all important count. ONE TWO Blood gushing from his nose, Shayne slowly begins to venture upright. THREE FOUR FIVE He gets onto his knees, breath heavy, mind rattled by a possible concussion. His instincts (and Krista's good advice), implore him to stay grounded, but with the heart of a fighter, he simply can not throw this match, and so rises fully to his feet. “SHAYNE! SHAYNE! SHAYNE!” The bout resumes with CPA taking a more technical approach to his pugilism. The burly fighter bobs and weaves, keeping his head and neck in a constant motion, leaving the inexperienced Shayne completely dumbfounded as to what to do. He comes in with a weak straight punch, that's easily dodged by CPA, then countered with a right hook. Allen leans into a deadly left straight, but Shayne clumsily stumbles away from the blow, and returns fire with crazed haymakers. Each blow is spurred on by a basic urge to survive in the face of this glaring mismatch. But the shots bring nothing but grave disappointment to Shayne, as his larger foe effortlessly sways and fades away from them. CPA toys with the shellshocked Shayne, bouncing on his feet in a manner reminiscent of the great Ali. Six jabs then tear through Shayne's pathetic cover-up, each coming with their own bit of trash talk. “You ain't got nothing for me, bitch.” CPA states over the roar of the still standing crowd. Enraged by the comment, Shayne flies into an ill advised MMA inspired superman punch. The blow, like many of Shayne's punches, has little success, as when the punch arrives, the boxer sharply rotates his hips and shoulders, leading the strike sail harmlessly past. CPA puts himself right back on the attack, rotating his weight into a thunderous right hook, that explodes across Shayne's eye. Instantly an intense swelling appears above the eye socket of the pretty boy, as his vision slows into a chaotic blood red blur. He totters from side to side, completely unable to get his bearings when faced with this tremendous pain. Yet, his bearings become the least of his worries when CPA whips an uppercut into his jaw. The results of the blow are immediate and disturbing, Brave's face disfigures into a fleshy mis-mash, and gobs of blood spill freely from his mouth. As the Tupelo audience reacts in total horror over the blow, Shayne drops backwards, crashing into the canvas a bloodied heap. Krista and Tyler react with total horror, but over in the Enterprise corner, Jade Rodez couldn't bring herself to care less what happens to Shayne. COACH Two knock downs in one round, baby. Could you have imagined that? COLE Yeah, two knockdowns against a teenager who's never boxed in his life. Very impressive. And one came off a headbutt. Ooooh big man, that CPA. After ushering the trashing talking CPA back to his corner, Taylor begins the count... ONE TWO THREE Krista cries, “Hey, Terry, just because you have to pay four hundred dollars for a woman to sleep with you doesn't mean you have to take it out on Shayne! Stop the fight!” "Krista, I'm the referee, I'll make the call to stop the fight." "And, I'll make the call to call you a worthless douche!" Shayne stirs, not to rise in triumph, but to dump a wad of bloody spit onto the canvas. FOUR FIVE SIX DING DING DING END OF ROUND ONE COACH There's the bell, but there are no saved by the bell rules here! Shayne has got to get up to keep this bout going. SEVEN COLE I think Krista's right, he's gotta stay down, he's just going to keep getting creamed if he goes on. EIGHT CPA massive arms rip into the air in preemptive celebration. Though it's early, it's certainly not an arrogant rejoice as it truly looks like Shayne will be spending the rest of his week in the ICU NINE For some reason, Taylor hesitates to raise the ten, and this split second of indecision allows Shayne to will himself upright. Some fans applaud his fighting spirit, but most remain silent, unable to fathom how it would be a good idea for him to continue the bout. Regardless he staggers back to his corner where his “crack” training staff has a stool waiting for him. COACH Now we're going to see what kind of boxer Shayne is. Will he gut it out and come back to fight in the second round? Or is he a weak willed sissy, as we all think he is, who won't dare show his face after two knockdowns! COLE HE IS NOT A BOXER! COACH (ignoring Cole) For now, let's listen in on Brave's corner. Tyler tries to attend to Shayne's numerous cuts and bruises that have him looking like something out of a Resident Evil video game. Given that he has absolutely zero medical experience, Tyler is useless as a cut man, and he's forced to give way to the maternal instincts of Krista Isadora Duncan. Alix stands at Shayne's side, exhausting her minimal boxing knowledge on her protege. KRISTA Alix! Alix! Alix! ALIX (muttering) Maybe if I ignore her she'll shut up. KRISTA Alix, if you don't pay attention to me right this instant, I'll reveal your real birth date! ALIX Gah! You wouldn't! KRISTA December fifteenth nineteen sixty ALIX Ahhh! Fine! What, what, what, do ya want? KRISTA I want you to throw in the towel, sweetie. ALIX A sphincter says....what? No way, am I throwing in the towel! KRISTA Sweetie, he's getting massacred. M-a-s-s...look my PhD is in modern dance not spelling, the bottom line is he's getting killed. ALIX He's f-i-n-e. Fine! Aren't ya? SHAYNE (moaning) Can't see. Can't move at all. TYLER Aww man. You could have a groin injury. ALIX Which may be the world's way of telling ya to call it a night. But any thing that talks to you through your groin can go around the corner and kiss your booty! KRISTA Alix... ALIX Krista, if I wanted any of your tongue I'd take off my pants! So unless you're gonna make like Chuck Taylor and rock my “man in the boat”, then I suggest you make like The All Amercian Rejects and move along, move along, like I know you will. Now, Shayne, this is what's super important. When my cousin Juan was in high school he was in a band with his best friend Tito, and Tito's bro worked in Carlsbad, and he said there was this older chick who liked to sleep with young dudes, take their virginity, all that, and she lived in a yellow house and they drove around days looking for it, but you know what, there was no yellow house. See what I'm saying here? SHAYNE No. ALIX Great! You're fine! Up and at 'em kiddo! COACH Interesting. Right now, let's go to our ringside expert Simon Singleton, who's helping us score the fight. Simon? We cut to Simon standing ringside in a blue and yellow polka dot tuxedo. COLE Oh give me a break! SIMON Excuse me, Mister Cole, I'm trying to lend an air of credibility, and journalistic integrity to an otherwise tawdry and low brow affair. Now, in my expert view, the first round goes to Christopher Patrick Allen, ten to eight. Mister Allen has no fear as he dominates the ring against an inferior opponent! COLE (muttering) That's because he's dominating a boy who he out weighs by over a hundred pounds. SIMON I also found Brave's punches to be lacking in crispness and technique. It's as if they were thrown by a teenage boy who's never been in a boxing match in his life.... COLE THAT'S BECAUSE THEY WERE THROWN BY A TEENAGE BOY WHO'S NEVER BEEN IN A BOXING MATCH IN HIS LIFE!!!!!!! COACH Simon, I apologize for my colleagues petiteness and unprofessional nature. I thank you for your sharp mind and important insights. We'll see you at the conclusion of the second round. For now let's take a look at CPA's corner. Over in The Enterprise corner the mechanical organization of the professional team works wonderfully, addressing the scant few scrapes on CPA's face. Jade remains outside, paying no attention to the world around her. Ned leans over the ropes, his toothy smile directed at CPA. NED Good stuff, brother, good stuff. Brave better watch his goddamned neck when he comes out for the second round. He thought we gave it bad to him now? It's looking to get even worse. I'm tempted to jump in that ring and bust a 40 bottle upside his frosted tips! CPA He fucking with the wrong one, Ned. I tried to tell 'em, I tried to warn 'em, but he fuckin with the wrong one, man! NED Hell yeah he is. If he was smart, then he would've gone up to San Fransisco and have Barry Balco score him some of "the clear". Then maybe his punches might actually break glass. The way it is now, we've got this one, bro. Woof woof! Elsewhere, the sexy ring girl carries a large card with the number 2 above her head. Actually, the sexy ring girl isn't a girl at all. Rather it's Mariachi of Los Diablos De Fuego, his hairless chest and bronze physique exposing the holiness of it's beauty to the consumption of an unworthy world. A pink thong bikini tightly nourishes the majesty of his stiffened manhood, causing mouthes near and far to water with lustful hunger. Admit it, you're already hunting down that box of Charmin. U KNO WHO YOU ARE TONY149! While my attempt to out Tony may have failed, Terry Taylor's attempt to call for the bell does not, and the second round of this exaggerated murder is underway. DING DING DING ROUND TWO Terry Taylor calls the fighter back into battle, and the slaughter begins once more. Allen offers no respect to Brave's fighting skills, or lack thereof, and begins winging looping left hooks at the boy. Shayne circles away from the poorly targeted strikes, and hammers a left-right combination of jabs into Allen's ribcage. Though the strikes do no damage, they show the crowd Brave isn't willing to roll over and die. CPA shows no fear of Shayne's “power”, and nails two left jabs that are scarcely blocked by Showtime. Reeling from the pain of simply blocking the strike, Shayne tries to create some distance between himself and his burly rival. But “The Debt Collector” uses his expert footwork to cut off his escape routes as he drubs him with a quintet of jabs. Though only two of blows actually land, they do enough damage to Shayne to turn his cheek a shade of dark purple. COACH Shayne is no match for the boxing artistry of Christopher Patrick Allen. COLE I wonder why that is? Could it be because this is the first time he's ever put on boxing gloves, whereas CPA has trained with the likes of Lennox Lewis and George Foreman? CPA circles Shayne with great arrogance, smiling to himself over the knowledge that he holds Shayne's fate within his hands. Imagine his shock when Brave closes in and nails him flush across his bulbous snout with a wicked right cross! The blow sends an outraged CPA teetering backwards and enlivens the once dead crowd. “YEAAAAAA!” CPA tries to reposition himself as the dominant force in the match, unleashing a right cross upon his foe. However, Brave ducks into a semi crouch stance, and as CPA's fist flies past he erupts with a thundering uppercut! Overtaken with glee over Shayne's show of strength Alix screams, “WHOOP THAT TRICK!” “GET 'EM!” the audience replies. “WHOOP THAT TRICK!” “GET 'EM!” “WHOOP THAT TRICK!” “GET 'EM!” “WHOOP THAT TRICK!” “GET 'EM!” And whoop that trick Shayne does, miraculously hammering his stupefied foe with a succession of rights. The shots leave Allen open mouthed, and weary, his hands held low beside his waist. Ned screams for him to get back into the game. Unfortunately, these are shouts and cries that are heard by CPA as an uppercut lifts him from his blue boots and drops him onto the canvas! “AEIFHEIGHEGIHEW!” That would be the sound of the audience going completely mad from joy over the unbelievable sight they've just witnessed. Alix leaps off her stool, screaming like a mad woman, while Ned sits in the other corner, besieged by shock. COLE Shayne knocked CPA down! I don't believe it! I don't believe it! COACH Vegas never predicted this! Bringing himself back from his own shock over the stupendous event, Terry Taylor begins his count. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO CPA quickly moves to his knees, and instantly dampens much of the enthusiasm. A strong snarl rips across his face, informing Brave that there will be hell to pay for this grave transgression. CROWD THREE As though Brave's previous flurry never occurred, CPA is on his feet, appearing more menacing and lethal then ever before. A smoldering cauldron of rage and fury, he refuses to wait for Terry Taylor to restart the bout and immediately seeks retribution. He throws wild punches that scarcely miss his backpedaling foe. He cranks his arm into a savage left hook, but just as the punch arrives Shayne quickly rotates his hips to the opposite side, then comes back with two sharp blows to the body! “KNOCK 'EM OUT SHAYNE! KNOCK HIM OUT! KNOCK 'EM OUT SHAYNE! KNOCK 'EM OUT!” Irate over the idea of a sub two hundred pounder flooring him, Allen launches into another crazed onslaught of punches. Despite his face looking like a plate of mashed potatoes, Showtime stands and trades with his much larger foe, his bravery (LOL PUN) whipping the crowd into further frenzy. COACH They're using smaller gloves then most boxers. Smaller gloves mean more damage, more damage mean more knockdowns. Brave comes out of the exchange with a large cut decorating his right eye. But the blood simply spurs on his desire to compete, and he and Allen once again lock horns in an exchange of hate filled haymakers. Having the superior handspeed, CPA is able to batter Brave with piston like punches, leaving his face a sickening mess of bruises, blood and jagged cuts. Shayne refuses to be backed down by the mounting damage, and returns fire with a bruising kidney punch. Allen then slows the break neck pace of the bout by bear hugging Brave into a clinch. His vulgar mouth spews a torrent of profanities, none of which seem to faze Showtime as evidenced when he unloads a nasty jab to jaw that snaps Allen's head back! CPA tries to circle back to get his bearings within the ring, but Brave hounds him left-right jab combos. A pair of hooks from Allen delay the resilient cruiser weight. But it's only seconds later before Shayne's punches resume raining down on Allen's jaw. COLE Shayne's hanging in there! But he needs another miracle to take CPA down! Will he get it? Will he get it? There's a distinct air of hope floating through the arena. The thousands of Tupelo natives wish to believe that Shayne has the moxie, the power and the fabulous luck required to upend the fearsome beast. Even as they watch a three punch combination from CPA swell Brave's right eye shut, they remain hopeful. Shayne doesn't disappoint as he returns with a beautiful straight cross to Allen's chin. But CPA doesn't even blink before lobbing half a dozen sharp punches that connect masterfully in the corner. With Shayne blind in one eye, his foe goes for the kill, firing a massive uppercut that connects with lethal authority! Brave's head is rocked so tremendously that the entire front row is bathed in sweat and blood. Yet their own health is not their primary concern, as they witness a second uppercut propel the boybander through the skies and deposit his bloody husk onto the canvas with a resounding thud! "OOOOOH" goes the audience as they watch Showtime's blue eyes dive into the back of his head. COACH That has got to be it! The boy just got murdered. COLE No three knockdown rule here, Coach. Shayne still has till the count of ten. Come on, kid! CPA certainly doesn't believe Shayne has any hope of answering that count, and as he ventures back to his corner he and Ned boisterously gloat over their “achievement.” Shayne's corner is one filled with great sadness and worry, and even Alix is forced to admit that perhaps discretion would be the better part of not getting your fucking teeth knocked down your throat! Thus she makes zero efforts to will him to his feet ONE TWO THREE “SHOWTIME! SHOWTIME! SHOWTIME!”the fans chant, mainly to see if Shayne is still alive. FOUR FIVE SIX “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, rumble young man rumble!” CPA boasts from his corner. SEVEN EIGHT NINE There's no movement from Shayne. Not a wiggling of the feet, a stirring of the hands or a blinking of the one good eye. TEN! COACH And there it is, mang! CPA getting him some get back avenging his loss at School's Out! First Leon goes down, gets choked out like a punk, and now Shayne can't even make it out of the second round! These dudes ain't shit! The thirty year old women they got backing 'em up are bigger men then they are! Rather then come into the ring as he'd usually do for boxing matches, Buffer announces the winner in the usual pro wrestling fashion. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the winner of this bout at one minute and forty five seconds of the second round, THE DEBT COLLECTOR, CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN! The audience is disgusted by the wanton display of brutality from The Enterprise and shower the venue with boos. However, The Enterprise's representatives pay them no mind as they pour into the ring to celebrate CPA's victory. High fives are exchanged and compliments are lauded upon the victor by his training staff and his head trainer, Ned Blanchard. Simon stands outside of the ring, smirking to himself, while trying to maintain journalistic objectivity despite being involved in an enormous fraud. Jade simply stands with arms folded, an attitude of cold indifference standing firm in the wake of her team's celebration and the audiences wrath. COLE Oh, aren't they happy? COACH Why shouldn't they be, Allen improved his boxing record to sixteen wins and zero losses. COLE Over a person he outweighs by a hundred pounds! Way to go! Who knows what kind of injuries Shayne could have suffered tonight? COACH He didn't have to take this match. COLE Yes he did! Jade owns his contract and she forced him into it. He had no choice, and I hope she's happy, because the blood is on her hands. Doctors surround Shayne trying to will him back to life. There doesn't seem to be much hope for the teen idol as amidst the colorful chaos of the rage and joy, Shayne remains submerged in a deep blackness. Tyler, Terry, Krista, and Alix stand above him, each one distraught with worry over Brave's condition. Being the only mother of the four, Krista is much more proactive in needling the doctors with questions on Shayne's condition. Unfortunately all their answers are of the “we don't know" variety. COLE Folks, once again The Enterprise's power, strength and money has conspired to do what may be irreparable harm to an innocent human being. COACH Innocent? He was trying to knock CPA out, take food off his plate! COLE What was he supposed to do? He had no choice, I keep telling you! He was led to the slaughter by his former manager Jade Rodez, and she doesn't give a damn about it. They think this is all fun and games, well a kid is hurt, a kid is oozing blood by the gallon, and I'm not okay with it, and these people are not okay with it, and The Enterprise can go to hell! Folks, I apologize for my language, and for the way this show ended. But thank you for joining us this evening, and please log on to OAOAST.com to get updates on Shayne's condition. COACH LMAO, here's an update, that white boy dead! GOODNIGHT

We return to the sold out arena with our view focused on one Mister Buffer BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen this next match is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit. “Wherever I may Roam” by Metallica begins to play and the fans stand and cheer as the doors slide open and Jacob Cross walks out onto the stage. His cowboy hat shields his face from the bright lights, making it hard to discern the look on it. He glances around the arena, taking in the sight of all the fans around him and slowly he walks to the ring. COLE After the words Vitamin X had earlier I wouldn't blame Cross for being a little upset. COACH I'm surprised Vitamin X could stand that close to him. I figured the alcohol smell would be near toxic. COLE Don't even start tonight! Cross circles the ring with his eyes focused in front of him, his mind racing over what Vitamin X said before. He takes off his hat and necklace before entering the ring and leaning in the corner to wait for Vitamin X. BUFFER Introducing first. From wherever he may roam, weighing in at 225 pounds....THE DRIFTER...JACOB CROSS!!!! YEAHHHH!!!!!! COLE Cross is focused as always, but I sense a bit of anger in him. COACH Sense a bit of anger??? What are you a jedi?? The music dies down and is replaced by the sound of a cash register opening up and Vitamin X saying, “Come and take your Vitamin X!” “Bling Bling” by the B.G. Featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys begins to play. BOOOOOOO!!!!! COLE Vitamin X says he's out here tonight to teach Cross some respect yet he never shows respect to anyone around here besides maybe Tha Puerto Rican and the rest of the Lightning Crew. COACH He doesn't have to. No one around here is worth respecting! COLE So he shouldn't even respect you? COACH Well I meant as far as wrestlers. Vitamin does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle out onto the stage and moves to the beat of the music as Cuban Wall follows him through the sliding door. He argues with a few fans on the way to the ring before entering and posing on the turnbuckles with his arms in the form of a X. BUFFER Introducing next. From Miami, Florida, weighing in at 248 pounds, THE X MAN....VITAMIN X!!!!!! BOOOOOOOO!!!!! Vitamin hops down off the turnbuckles and stares at Cross. Cuban Wall exits the ring as the ref warns him to keep his hands to himself during the match. *DING DING DING* COLE Here we go. The two men lock up quick and Cross drives Vitamin quickly into the corner. He then tries to hip toss Vitamin out, but Vitamin reverses and goes for a hip toss of his own. Cross blocks the attempt and nails Vitamin with a hard clothesline that sends him to the mat hard. Vitamin is up quick and looks stunned. The two of them lock up again and this time Vitamin is able to quickly lock in an arm wringer. He then twists Jacob's wrist around to add pain to the hold. Vitamin looks pleased with himself until Jacob twists out and locks in an arm wringer of his own. COLE He got too cocky and had the hold reversed on him! COACH Oh you just love that don't you Cole!? Vitamin flips his way out and pulls Cross into a side headlock, but Cross shoves him off into the ropes. As Vitamin bounces back Cross knocks him down with a shoulderblock. Vitamin is up quick again and lays a chop in to Jacob's chest before Cross knows what hit him. Cross is stunned for a second before firing back with his own chop. Back and forth the two of them trade chops, with each one getting more and more violent. COLE It's a chop off!! COACH A what!? Finally Cross chops Vitamin so hard he is knocked to the mat, but he's up quickly and goes for a right hand to the face. Jacob blocks the punch and fires off a flurry that drives Vitamin into the ropes where Jacob then whips him across the ring. As Vitamin bounces off Cross nails him with a Flying Shoulderblock and goes for a cover. 1 No!! COLE Only a one count after a brutal shoulderblock! COACH It's okay the match is still young. COLE Oh that's a relief. Cross pulls Vitamin to his feet as he stands and goes to whip him to the ropes again, but Vitamin reverses the whip. Vitamin goes for a clothesline as Jacob bounces back, but Jacob ducks and hits the ropes on the other side. Cross is back before Vitamin turns around and Vitamin gets nailed by a bulldog! Cross goes for another cover. 1 No!! COLE So far Cross is in control. COACH Vitamin X is just looking for his opening that's all. Cuban Wall cheers Vitamin on from the outside as Jacob pulls Vitamin to his feet and hooks him for a brainbuster. Vitamin blocks the move and fires off desperation punches to Jacob's face. Cross finally breaks the hold and Vitamin backs up as Cross looks a little dazed. Vitamin then plows through Cross with a spear and a cover! COLE What a spear by Vitamin X! COACH Finally you show him respect! 1 2 No!! COLE That's not enough! Vitamin wastes no time in laying the stomps in to Jacob's body while he lays on the mat. He then pulls Jacob to his feet and whips him hard into the corner. Jacob hits hard and Vitamin comes in with fast kicks to Jacob's midsection. He then whips Jacob into the far corner where he hits hard and then bounces out towards Vitamin X. Vitamin meets him with a series of three jabs to the face followed by the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle and one last punch...that Jacob blocks. COACH Whoa! I've never seen anyone block that last punch! COLE Now here goes Cross with his own punches! Cross fires off a flurry of punches himself and then winds up for the One for the Road, but just like Cross did Vitamin blocks the last punch. Vitamin then kicks Cross in the gut and bounces off the ropes behind him. He comes off with a moonsault into what should be a DDT to finish off the X Spot, but Jacob catches Vitamin. He then tosses him off onto the top rope for a Hot Shot, but Vitamin lands gut first across the rope and falls to the mat in pain. COLE Those ropes hurt when you land on them like that! COACH Oh how would you know!? Cross sees his opening and quickly lands a few stomps to the midsection of Vitamin X. He then pulls him to his feet and whips him across the ring, but as he goes to run after him he finds that someone is holding on to his foot. COLE Oh come on ref Cuban Wall just tried to trip up Cross!! COACH No no his shoe was untied he was just trying to help him out!! COLE During a match!? Cross diverts his attention to Wall long enough for Vitamin to sneak attack him. Vitamin runs up and plants a knee to Jacob's back that sends him flying through the ropes and to the floor! COLE Cross goes flying to the ground outside the ring! The ref quickly tells Wall to keep his distance and Wall throws his arms up in innocence. Vitamin waits for Cross to stand before nailing a slingshot plancha onto Cross! Cross is back down on the floor as the fans let Vitamin have it when he walks near the security barrier. COACH Who's in control now Michael!? Vitamin throws his arms up in the form of a X and taunts the fans for a second before pulling Cross up and whipping him hard into the ring steps, which shift upon impact. He then grabs Cross and tosses him back into the ring before following close behind. COLE Vitamin has taken control with the help of Cuban Wall. He doesn't need to be out here!! COACH I don't know what you're talking about Cole. He's been perfectly fine! Vitamin tries once again for a flurry of three punches to the face, a Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, and one last punch that knocks Cross to the mat. 1 2 No!!! COLE Not that's not enough! Cross is back up just in time to receive a kick to the gut from Vitamin. Vitamin then sets him up for a snap suplex and hits it. He then makes another cover. 1 2 No!! COLE Still just a two count. He'll have to do better than that! Before Cross can even get up Vitamin drops a succession of three elbows to his chest. He then makes another cover. 1 2 No!!! COLE He knows that is not going to be enough. COACH You never know Cole. Stranger things have happened! Vitamin then turns Cross over and goes for the Lethal Injection (Modified STF), but Cross quickly scrambles and grabs the bottom rope. Vitamin holds on for a count of 4 and then lets go and stands up. COLE If Cross didn't make it to the ropes this could have been over. COACH It should have been over. Cross should have just tapped out the second Vitamin touched him and save himself the embarrassment! Vitamin pulls Cross back into the center of the ring and reaches down for him, but Cross grabs him for a small package. 1 2 No!! COLE Almost!! Cross got him by surprise! COACH How lame would that be to be beaten by a small package!? COLE What's that you say? I can't hear over the crowd I swore you said you like to beat your small package. COACH Oh come on that's not even funny!!! Vitamin is actually up before Cross and he catches him as he stands. He quickly lifts him onto his shoulders for the X-Clamation, but Cross, out of nowhere, pulls him back down into a crucifix pin! YEAHHHHH!!!! 1 2 3!! No!!! Vitamin kicks out! COLE What a reversal! COACH He pulled the tights! COLE Can't you think of a more original excuse?? Both men are up at the same time and Cross quickly moves in for a STO that takes Vitamin down hard! He then goes for a cover. 1 2 3!! No!! Vitamin kicks out again! COLE These desperation moves are not getting the job done. Cross needs to catch his breath. Cross and Vitamin X lay on the mat catching a breather as the ref begins to count. 1...2....3....4...5....Cross starts to get up...6....7...Vitamin X starts to get up....8...Cross is up and grabs Vitamin to whip him across the ring. As he bounces back Cross grabs him and nails the twisting spinebuster! COLE What a vicious spinebuster! Cover!! 1 2 3!! No!! Vitamin still kicks out! COACH That's right. He's not out yet!! Cross gets up and waves Vitamin on and as Vitamin stands Cross begins the punch flurry to his body. After stunning him with a few punches Cross winds up and knocks him down with One for the Road! Cross then backs into the corner and climbs onto the second turnbuckle before coming off with a legdrop! However, Vitamin somehow rolls out of the way at the last second and Jacob hits nothing but mat. Both men are on the mat again, but slowly Vitamin pulls himself towards the ropes. COLE I can't believe he moved after getting knocked down like that! COACH Then you don't know Vitamin X very well Cole. Vitamin pulls himself up and shakes out the cobwebs while waiting for Jacob to stand. When he does Vitamin kicks him in the gut and bounces off the ropes behind Cross with a moonsault....but as he flips over Jacob nails him with a kick to the gut that knocks him right down to the mat!! COLE Cross just kicked Vitamin X right out of the air!! COACH Oh damn!!! Cross then pulls Vitamin X up and sets him up for the Tumbleweed (Exploder Powerslam). COLE This could be it!!! Cross readies himself, but he never gets the chance as Cuban Wall rushes in and blasts Cross in the back of the head with a forearm and the ref calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COLE Dammit!!! COACH He should have listened to them and showed some respect!! Wall then pulls Cross off of Vitamin and plants him with the Wallbreaker in the middle of the ring. While this takes place Vitamin X climbs the turnbuckles and comes off with the Leap of Faith! COLE Come on ref do something about this!! BOOOOOOOO!!!!! The ref tries to stop it, but Wall shoves him to the mat and threatens more before the ref slides out to the floor. Wall and Vitamin X survey the damage with grins on their faces and then both men lay in the boots to Jacob Cross. COLE This is disrespectful. How can they demand respect and then act like this!? COACH I told you Cole Cross disrespected them first...they're just teaching him a lesson! To add the final insult Vitamin X pulls Cross up and lifts him for the X-Clamation and nails it. Wall and Vitamin finally leave the ring with their arms in the air in the form of a X. BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! BUFFER Your winner by way of disqualification....JACOB CROS!!!!! COACH He's not much of a winner right now! Wall and Vitamin smile all the way up the ramp and through the sliding doors as Cross finally stirs in the ring. The camera gets a close up shot of his face full of rage as he struggles to pull himself up by the ropes. COLE What a despicable display. COACH Waaaaah waaaaah. I'm not gonna waste my time feeling bad for a thirty four year old beer bellied drunk. You can if you want to, that's on you, but I'm getting prepared for the mainevent, a boxing match between CPA and Shayne Brave, ordered by Jade Rodez, as a result of Shayne pinning CPA in the eight person tag match at School's Out. And folks that is coming up next! COMMERCIAL

The lights go down in the arena. The crowd is buzzing in anticipation. COLE What the--? What's going on now? COACH I don't know, but I'm scared! Suddenly, Gregorian chants start playing over the P.A. system. Smoke fills the entrance stage. The crowd is puzzled. COLE This is eerie, Coach. COACH You can say that again. COLE This is eerie, Coach. COACH Shut up. *BONG!* *BONG!* *BONG!* *BONG!* The funeral march now plays, better known as The Undertaker's theme song. COLE What is going on here!? COACH It looks like we're having a funeral! COLE A FUNERAL!? For whom!? A blue light shines on the entrance stage. The entrance doors slide open, and out from the smoke come four Druids carrying a white casket. Two of the Druids are much bigger than the other two. COLE My God. It's...a casket! Being wheeled to the ring by Druids! COACH This is certainly something we don't see in the OAOAST every week! COLE Yeah. (Thank Goodness) The white casket has been spray-painted with numerous Lightning Crew propaganda: "P.R. RULZ", "PRT 9:12", "LIGHTNING CREW 4-LIFE", "BOHEMOTH SUX", "PRL IS GOD", "LC > OAOAST", and "WE ARE IN CONTROL!" Following the casket and the Druids is Stephen Joseph Popick, wearing sunglasses and a black suit and tie ensemble. Next to him is a woman wearing a veil over her head in addition to a black sports jacket, a white dress shirt, white gloves, a black mini-skirt, and black heels. COLE Wait a minute? Popick? A spray-painted casket? What is going on here!? COACH Something mighty interesting, Cole! COLE Why do I get the feeling this is leading to something I won't like? COACH Because you're a negative Nancy, that's why! The Funeral March continues playing as the casket is wheeled to ringside. The woman uses a napkin to wipe tears from her eyes. Popick consoles her. The Druids slowly (and I mean SLOWLY) wheel the spray-painted white casket next to the ring. COLE This is a bizarre scene as we begin the second hour of HeldDOWN~!. The two smaller Druids walk over and bow their heads before the casket. Then, one of them opens the top of the casket... and THA PUERTO RICAN pops right up from inside the casket laughing manically like the Cryptkeeper from Tales From The Crypt! COLE I knew it! COACH PR is here! And he's alive! The Funeral March is immediately replaced with "Know Your Role '99"! The lights go back on inside the arena. The crowd boos loudly. The two big Druids help PRL out of the white casket, and then remove their hoods to reveal CUBAN WALL and MR. BORICUA! The two smaller Druids remove their hoods to reveal THOMAS RODRIGUEZ and THE BONE THUG. All four men remove the Druid outfits. PRL taunts the fans at ringside and then walks with a cocky swagger up the ring steps. Popick removes his sunglasses and applauds his client. COLE This is just another Lightning Crew charade! Tha Puerto Rican, rubbing it in the fans' faces that he's still standing after the BRUTAL Hell In A Cell Match last Sunday at School's Out! COACH He proved EVERYBODY wrong, Michael! EVERYBODY thought PRL was dead meat! EVERYBODY thought last Sunday was the final match of Tha Puerto Rican's career! But they were PROVEN WRONG! They were WRONG! PRL should celebrate! He surprised EV-VER-RE-BO-DY! COLE I guess Tha Puerto Rican has a right to celebrate... COACH He sure does. COLE But he needed some help last Sunday to beat Bohemoth. Namely, he had to have Vitamin X dress up as Caboose in order to win! COACH Eh, that's all schematics. Anything goes in a Hell In A Cell Match remember? The important thing is that PRL had his hand raised last Sunday night, and NOT Bohemoth! Stephen Joseph Popick holds the ropes for Tha Puerto Rican to enter the ring. He spins around; soaking in the fans' boos while "Know Your Role '99" continues playing over the P.A. system. He does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. PRL laughs manically some more. He is wearing a bandage around his head and is wearing sunglasses this time to hide the fact that both his eyes are black and blue. He's also dressed in a black suit and tie ensemble in addition to his usual $500 Rolex watch on his right wrist and engagement ring on his right ring finger. COACH Look at him! So brave, so strong. He went through HELL last Sunday, and yet, four days later he has decided to grace us with his presence. Really, he shouldn't have! COLE Yes. He REALLY SHOULDN'T have! The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick all enter the ring in their usual attire, except for Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, who STRIPS...to reveal a red Rancid tank top with the right strap cut off to reveal a black bra strap, a gold necklace, an engagement ring on her right ring finger, and an even SHORTER skirt, this one denim blue with purple stars drawn on it. Lindsay hands PRL the black spray-painted briefcase with *his* Golden Contract still inside. PRL kisses Lindsay and then goes to get a microphone. COACH And he gets to go home to *that* every night! Wow, PRL is a lucky guy right now! COLE As much as it pains me to say it, he is on top of the world right now. Two big victories took place at School's Out last Sunday. Zack's, obviously, but also Tha Puerto Rican's. And not only that, but Bohemoth suffered a concussion thanks to the cricket bat to the head and will be out of action indefinitely! COACH HA HA! That's great to hear! COLE Not so great for Bohemoth. COACH Well, DUH! But great for Tha Puerto Rican! He has taken down another OAOAST superstar, and STILL is in possession of the Golden Contract! What a great time it is to be Tha Puerto Rican! "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! THE CHAMP...IS...ALIVE! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH Hallelujah! "Know Your Role '99" dies down. But the crowd is still booing. PRL smiles evilly. The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick all watch with evil grins on their faces. "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" THA PUERTO RICAN Now, now, now. Settle down. Settle down. Now, I hate to say 'I told you so', but...I TOLD YOU SO! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" PRL I told you all that I would live to fight another day! I told you all that I would STILL be the Man With The Golden Contract. I TOLD YOU ALL that Bohemoth would DIE, and guess what? I DID EVERYTHING I SAID I WOULD DO! COLE Well, he did 2 of those things. COACH Well, 2 out of 3 ain't bad. THA PUERTO RICAN (CONT'D) I stand before you today STILL YOUR Corporate Champion! I stand before you today STILL the holder of The Golden Contract! And most importantly, I simply stand before you today, NOT Bohemoth! The crowd boos viciously. PRL smirks. "ASSSSS-HOLE!" "ASSSSS-HOLE!" "ASSSSS-HOLE!" "ASSSSS-HOLE!" THA PUERTO RICAN Go on. Keep booing me. I live off of making you guys pissed off! The booing gets LOUDER. A "P.R. SUCKS" chant breaks out. COLE The hatred these fans feel for Tha Puerto Rican is amazing! COACH It's a bit unhealthy too. Seriously, these fans need some anger management! PRL It was supposed to be my day of reckoning! It was supposed to be my judgment day! It was supposed to be My Last Stand! But in life, what's *supposed* to happen, and what *does* happen sometimes don't always match up! Last Sunday, when you all sat down in your trailer parks and watched School's Out, I know you were all hoping that you were watching my retirement match, weren't you? "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" PRL Yeah, I thought so. And you were all hoping that Bohemoth would rip me apart limb from limb right? "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" PRL Yep. I'm sure you were. And while it's true that I did not leave that match unscathed, all it takes is a little elbow grease and some plastic surgery, and I'll be back to 100% in no time! PRL smiles, revealing that he somehow has gotten back the two front teeth that he lost on Sunday. COLE Are those...fake teeth? COACH So what if they are? You think P.R. would go through life like that? COLE They're still fake, Coach. COACH IT DOESN'T MATTER IF THEY'RE FAKE! They're there, and that's that! Now let us never speak of them again. PR I had my doubts, I admit it. I was a bit scared, a bit worried that I would be hurt in this match. That I would have several broken bones. That I would not be around for my own wedding. And yes, I got the HELL beaten out of me by Bohemoth. I got hurt. Hell, I fell off the Cell through a BARRICADE for Christ's sake! It was the most dangerous, violent, brutal match I've ever had. I went through HELL last Sunday night! But you know what...I SURVIVED! That's right! I...SUR-VIVED! I I came out of that match ALIVE! I got out of that Cell as the winner, NOT the loser! And I am standing on my own two feet tonight in front of all you pieces of trailer park trash, while Bohemoth sits in a hospital bed somewhere in Houston a LO-SER! COACH PR is speaking the truth! He is not lying! Not at all! Everything he says is TRUE! COLE Yes. Yes. I know! Don't remind me! "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" Tha Puerto Rican chuckles. THA PUERTO RICAN Ask your mother, sister, niece, and grandmother how much I SUCK! COLE Grandmother? COACH P.R. likes the boomin' grannies with big old panties. THA PUERTO RICAN I can now add the Hell In A Cell to my list of accomplishments in addition to being a 3-time Puerto Rican Champion! A former North American Champion! A former HI-YAH World Tag Team Champion! The greatest X-Division Champion EVER! AND the longest reigning 24/7 Champion in One And Only AngleSault Thread history! I am a GOD in the squared circle and a Casanova in the bedroom! (PRL winks at Lindsay. Lindsay blushes.) PRL I am the greatest Puerto Rican athlete of all-time! Even my friend, "Tito" Trinidad says I'm better than him, and he's a freakin' boxing LEGEND! I am the controller of my own destiny and right now things couldn't have been better. In short, I RULE. YOU SUCK! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH I'm not worthy! "BO-HE-MOTH!" "BO-HE-MOTH!" "BO-HE-MOTH!" "BO-HE-MOTH!" PRL Bohemoth? BOHEMOTH!? THERE'S one name you won't be hearing for a while! The crowd boos. PRL laughs. TPR Last Sunday, Bohemoth was added to my list. I have taken out yet ANOTHER OAOAST superstar, yet ANOTHER one of your 'heroes'! I have beaten each and every person the OAOAST has thrown at me. You set them up, and I knock 'em down! And Bohemoth joined the illustrious list last Sunday night at School's Out! Bohemoth joined the list that includes such names as Naz Mistry. "YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" TPR K-NESS. "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" TPR "Shooter" Jay Darring. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" TPR Panther. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" TPR D*LUX. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" TPR John "Rock Hard" Brickston. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" TPR The Mad Cappa. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" TPR Colombian Heat. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" TPR And Leon Rodez. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" TPR I have beaten each...and...every one of them, MORE THAN ONCE in some cases! And now, Bohemoth has joined that PRESTIGIOUS CORPORATE list! I have taken down the people you love! I have laid to waste the people you root for! I have slay the people whose names you chant! I have done all of that, and yet you people STILL don't give me the respect I deserve! You people STILL boo me! You people STILL throw stuff at me! You shouldn't be doing that crap! Each and every one of you idiots should be standing up right now, and chanting my name! 'P.R.!' 'P.R.!' 'P.R.!' 'P.R.!' 'P.R.!' 'P.R.!' 'P.R.!' 'P.R.!' P.R.'s "P.R.!" chant morphs into another "P.R. SUCKS!" chant. "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" P.R. sneers at the crowd. The Lightning Crew and Popick sneer with him. COACH No respect. He gets no respect! COLE Maybe if he earned it. COACH What more must he do? COLE Maybe win fairly once in a while. THA PUERTO RICAN You see, that's why I'm going to continue making your lives a living HELL! "BOO!" "HISS!" "BOO!" "HISS!" PRL Now, I must give credit where credit is due. I did not win this match all by myself last Sunday. No, I had some help. Some very good CORPORATE help! So now, it is my honor to introduce to you, the Financial Consultant for The Lightning Crew (The boos start), the Second-In-Command of The Lightning Crew (The boos grow), my right hand man (Louder) and my BEST FRIEND, The Prince of The Lightning Crew, Prince Vitamin, VITAMINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN EXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX! *KA-CHING~!* *Come and take your Vitamin X.* "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys starts playing. The crowd boos loudly. Dollar signs are superimposed over the entrance ramp. The entrance doors slide open, and Vitamin X comes out, accompanied by Princess Stacey of The Lightning Crew. X is wearing a blue collared shirt, a gold chain around his neck, a dark blue sports jacket, a $500 Rolex watch around his right wrist, sunglasses, blue jeans with a leather belt, and black workman boots. Princess Stacey is wearing a blue blouse with white trimming, blue jeans, a necklace with her name on it, gold bracelets around her wrists, black heel shoes, and of course, her tiara. VX walks down the entrance ramp with a smile on his face, his right arm hooked with Princess Stacey's right arm. COLE There's the man who turned the tide for Tha Puerto Rican last Sunday! COACH The X-Man made his return, and all is right with the world again! COLE I can't believe we all thought Caboose would be the one that beat up Bohemoth last Sunday! COACH Well...it's not like Caboose has been a saint in the past! COLE Coach, he changed! For the better! I can't believe I was almost fooled by the damn Lightning Crew! COACH It's happened more than once, Cole. You know it. VX warns a fan to keep his hands away from Princess Stacey. He and Stacey walk up the ring steps. COLE Vitamin X hadn't been seen since OAOAST Syndicated last month, and then he makes his return disguised as Caboose! Nobody saw that coming! COACH Which is why it WORKED, Cole! Vitamin X did a BRILLIANT thing last Sunday which will be talked about for years to come! VX gets onto a second turnbuckle and crosses his arms into an X. He then jumps off the turnbuckle into the ring. Vitamin X holds the ropes for Princess Stacey to enter the ring. Vitamin X gives PRL a big hug. The two compatriots smile evilly at each other. THA PUERTO RICAN GIVE THIS MAN A ROUND OF APPLAUSE! "YOU SUCK X!" shouts one drunken fan. PRL does the "We're Not Worthy" bow at X. Prince Vitamin blushes. "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys dies down. PRL Thanks in part to this man, I am here tonight! X, you did your boss proud. Excellent job! P.R. shakes X's right hand. VX takes the microphone. VITAMIN X Thank you, boss. You know, we all showed the world, we all showed them, that SIZE DOESN'T MATTER! Am I right, P? HA HA HA HA HA! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Vitamin X hands the microphone back to PRL. X puts his left arm around Stacey's shoulders. THA PUERTO RICAN Good luck later tonight. Now, the question on everybody's mind is: what's next? And quite frankly, that is a good question. Because after what I went through last Sunday, it makes you wonder just what I can do to top it. Well, don't worry Lightning Bolts, because I know just how I will top the Hell In A Cell! You see, while I was getting pummeled by Bohemoth last Sunday night, several thoughts went through my head. One of them was 'Oh God, I hope I don't crap my tights!' The other was 'Wow. I am going to die!' And that thought made me think about something else. That life is short. It goes by too fast. One minute, you're a baby, the next minute, you're in an old folks home. What you had yesterday could be gone today. And my Golden Contract could have disappeared last Sunday at School's Out! The title shot I WORKED MY ASS OFF for could have been destroyed. My one guaranteed Title shot that's been in my hands since August of last year could have been taken away and given to Bohemoth! All because I sat idly by and let time fly without cashing it in. Well, oh no, OH NO, I am NOT going to sit idly by no longer! Oh Hell to the no! This Golden Contract, this ticket to the top, this gateway to my future, is not going to be collecting dust anymore! No, starting now, I am making a statement! The Golden Contract WILL be used by the end of the year! People have been asking me ever since August when I was going to cash it in. And I kept saying, 'When the time is right'. The time IS right! After all these years, things are FINALLY starting to go my way! So that is why I am ready to cash in my guaranteed World Title shot ASAP! I have done it all! Except one thing. One thing that has been eating at me ever since I came to the One And Only AngleSault Thread. One thing that has alluded me my entire career! Well, I am going to get that one thing and show the world just how great I really am! If you want something to happen, don't wait for it to happen, MAKE IT HAPPEN! It is time for me to lay waste to another hero. And this time, it is the biggest hero of them all! Tha Puerto Rican raises the black spray-painted briefcase over his head. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez removes his sunglasses so that the fans can get a good look at his black and blue eyes. He has a serious look on his face. Popick holds the mic underneath his lips. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN Zack Malibu...I'M COMING FOR YOU! "Know Your Role '99" begins playing again. Lindsay puts PRL's sunglasses back on. PRL grabs the black spray-painted briefcase and stares at the crowd. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has thrown down the gauntlet! He is gunning for Zack Malibu's World Heavyweight Title! COACH First Landon, now P.R.? Everybody wants a Title shot now! COLE Well, Zack said he was going to be a fighting Champion! Looks like the challengers are already lining up! The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick leave the ring. Popick holds the ropes for Lindsay, and then Lindsay holds the ropes for PRL. Princess Stacey holds the ropes for Vitamin X. X and P.R. talk while putting their arms around their respective ladies' shoulders. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has held the Golden Contract since August 17, 2006, since 9 months ago. And it looks like he doesn't want to wait any longer to cash it in! COACH Good for PR, I say! He's the best wrestler to never wear the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title! Now he can change that! COLE We'll have to wait and see *when* exactly P.R. will cash in his Title shot, but the fact of the matter is Tha Puerto Rican doesn't want to wait much longer to get another shot at becoming OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! COACH I can feel it. He's gonna do it this time. He's going to win the World Title when he cashes in his Golden Contract! I can feel it! His time is near! The Lightning Era is about to begin in the OAOAST! COLE After last Sunday, anything is possible. Folks we'll be right back after this with Vitamin X and Jacob Cross and a boxing match between CPA and Shayne Brave! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican walks up the entrance ramp carrying his black spray-painted briefcase with his Golden Contract inside. He stops to taunt a fan, but then continues onto the entrance stage. The rest of The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick follow him. "Know Your Role '99" continues playing over the P.A. system while the crowd boos. FADE OUT COMMERCIALS It has been the foundation of the OAOAST It has revitalized careers and created legends It has unleashed a bevy of outrageous characters upon an unsuspecting world And now it is your's to own on DVD in Cult Of Personality: The Story of the OAOAST tag division Featuring: ***Twenty two unedited matches, including never before seen footage of GPX, Black T, and The Sooner Bruisers.*** A two and a half hour documentary, including interviews from Ned Blanchard.... BLANCHARD Let's get this out in the open, before Simon and I came along the Midnight Express name was totally dead. Today's fans didn't even have a clue who or what The Midnight Express was until me and brother Simon brought it back. If the Midnight Express name has any kind of esteem or respect to it now, it's solely because of us. We took it out of the grave and gave it life. For that, sports entertainment is in my debt. I mean our debt. Mostly mine, but Simon, he helped out alright. Alix Spezia.... ALIX Krista and I aren't the LGBT version of Lucy and Desi, we get into crazy arguments. I think I should be treated like a princess, but she thinks she should be treated like Marie Antoinette. Sometimes, she can be super snobbish. Like, okay, one time we were in Saint Louie, and she's all like “Hey, let's go to California Pizza kitchen, it'll remind of us home.” And when we get there, do ya know what she orders? Hawaiian Pizza! Good ol fashioned American pizza isn't good enough for her highness. Oh no! Ol dutchess of york over there, has to dine on pizzas from exotic countries like Hawaii. Ooooooooh, how lovely for her eminence, thank you for letting a wee pauper such as myself feast upon your delectable delicacies. Oh thank you, sweet mother! Thank you! Psh, whatever. Cult Of Personality: The Story of the OAOAST tag division

* DING * DING * DING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, our next contest, sanctioned by HI-YAH promotions, one fall with a 15 minute time limit and it is a return match for the tag team championship of the world! Under HI-YAH regulations throwing your opponent over the top rope or ramming them head-first into the steel guardrail or ring post is grounds for immediate disqualification. Now let’s meet the participants. First the challengers in tonight’s contest, from San Antonio, Texas, total combine weight 497 pounds, they are accompanied by MELODY NERDLY…”THE TEXAS TWISTER” JOCK MULLIGAN and BARON WINDELS…THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS! Fall Out Boy’s “Thriller” blares in the background as the Gunslingers jog to the ring, fists pumped and all smiles. Meanwhile, their pig-tailed, Daisy Duke short wearing manager Melody skips down the aisle with her arms out, causing some in the crowd to push and shove in hopes of making contact with their idol/fantasy. COLE The month of May began with a HI-YAH tag title match between the Lone Star Gunslingers and the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew and it will end with one as well. As you heard Michael Buffer say, a return match from 4 weeks ago… HeldDOWN~! May 3rd The Texas Twister develops a sense of urgency as Rico lifts him overhead, worming out of a body vice or attempted Moustache Ride and locks on… “YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” …THE IRON CLAW!! Amazingly, Rico manages to grab a side headlock out of sheer desperation but is quickly pushed off into the ropes. A notorious ladies’ man, even lady luck is charmed by Rico de Janeiro, the King of Mardi Gras somehow able to make the blind tag as he bounces off the near side and is driven into the mat courtesy of a real Texas BULLDOG by Jock Mulligan! Unaware of what has happened the Gunslinger complain to referee Charles Robinson, who does his best to explain the situation. Even Melody gets in on the act, jumping on the apron to protest. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The crowd reacts as Lucius sneaks inside with the tag title in hand. Soul believes he has a clear shot at Jock when… “YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” …LOGAN MANN shows up and rips the belt out of his hands! LUCIUS Wagging his finger in Soul’s face Logan is blindsided by Rico. The crowd erupts again as SYNTH makes his presence felt, evening up the odds. As the bodies start to fly the referee notices the mayhem going on behind him and calls for the bell. COLE (CONT’D) …where the Gunslingers came 3 seconds away from dethroning the dynamic duo of Rico de Janeiro and “Sweet” Lucius Soul for the HI-YAH tag team championship. Fortunately for the Gunslingers, the Heavenly Rockers were there to watch their backs as the champions almost turned it ugly near the end. COACH I’d say unfortunately for the Lone Star Gunslingers, Cole. Because of the Heavenly Rockers interference they didn’t just lose the match, they lost the winner’s purse too. Even had they won via disqualification the Gunslingers would’ve earned a nice chunk of change for a hard night’s work, but the egomaniacs that the Heavenly Rockers are, they had to involve themselves someway, somehow. COLE Be that as it may, I happen to know for a fact -- because I deal with facts unlike some people I work with -- the Lone Star Gunslingers appreciate their newfound relationship with the Heavenly Rockers. It’s only been a few weeks but they’ve learned a great amount from Synth and Logan. Easy lover She'll get a hold on you believe it Like no other Before you know it you'll be on your knees The swagger, the ‘stache stroking, ‘fro pickin’…it’s all there as the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew appear in front of the thousands in attendance. Lucius holds the tag belt up to his face as he struts to the ring George Jefferson style, shaping his ‘fro while Rico de Janeiro can’t stop touching himself, caressing his hairy chest. BUFFER And their opponents, they are the REIGNING and DEFENDING HI-YAH tag team champions...RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL...THE MARDI GRAS HOOOOMMEWRECKING CREW! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And here come a couple of young men who wowed quite a few people with their outing this past Sunday night at School’s Out against the Heavenly Rockers. COACH They did what nobody, except myself of course, thought was possible and that’s hang in with the Heavenly Rockers. I heard people say it was going to be a squash, a total annihilation, but it was the other way around. Rico and Lucius owned the Heavenly Rockers in every way imaginable. They dominated. If not for Melody sticking her nose where it didn’t belong, the original decision would’ve stood. I bet Logan thanked her after the show. And by thank I mean bang. COLE All right, that’s enough. I’ve already had to apologize once for you, I’m not going to do it again. The wrestlers are set and the bell is officially sound. * DINGDINGDING * Baron Windels and Rico de Janeiro begin with a test of strength, and Rico impressively suplexes Baron overhead out of the knuckle lock. Windels charges to his feet and into a hip toss, but Rico goes to the well one too many times as Baron blocks a second hip toss attempt and counters with one of his own, followed by a dropkick and arm drag takedown. Rico tries to shake Baron loose, hip blocking him across the ring, but the Gunslinger shows the tenacity of a pit bull and holds on tight to the arm-bar. Frustrated by Baron’s death grip de Janeiro cocks his fist in clear view of the referee who warms him about it (closed fists are illegal in the sport of professional wrestling, you know). A man of the rules Rico decides against the punch and scoops Baron for a slam…but Windels rolls through in a SMALL PACKAGE! ONE… KICKOUT! Rico ducks a clothesline and nails Baron on the rebound with a HIGH KNEE! ONE… TWO… NO! Complaints of a slow count are quickly dismissed by the HI-YAH official signed to the match, meaning an actual Japanese person. COLE There may be a slight language barrier, but slapping your hands together in rapid motion is universally recognized. COACH Can somebody tell me why now? Why now is a HI-YAH official flown in to officiate a title defense? Aren’t the referees we have good enough? COLE Of course they are. But with the Lone Star Gunslingers involved, it’s a big match in Japan as they were wildly popular during there time in HI-YAH. COACH So in other words, the fix is in? The King of the Mardi Gras rams Baron into the knee of “Sweet” Lucius Soul and tags out. However, Rico stays in to hold Baron so Lucius can work the body over with an array of kicks and forearm shivers to the face. Together they whip Baron into the ropes…BLIND TAG…but the big Texan ducks an attempted double clothesline and leapfrogs Rico on the rebound, then along with Jock dropkick the Homewrecking Crew! “YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Melody fires her imaginary pistols in the air, joining the crowd in their state of euphoria. Rico and Lucius, they‘re laid out on the arena floor. COLE The crowd is electric! They want to see the HI-YAH tag titles change hands. But don’t you change that channel. Our tag team title match resumes after the break! WILL THE CHAMPS BE “GUNNED” DOWN? HI-YAH Tag Team Title Bout The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew [Champions] Vs. The Lone Star Gunsliners [Challengers] COME ON BACK AND FIND OUT, YA HEAR? “Sweet” Lucius Soul and Jock Mulligan lockup as we return from break and Jock blocks Soul’s attempted cheap shot, catching the leg in midair before spinning Sweetness around and compressing his vertebrate with an ATOMIC DROP. Crotched mid-ring in a whole lotta pain Soul leaves himself exposed to a BANDIT KICK! ONE… TWO… But only two, as Jock rolls off and Rico drops a big elbow on his partner! The crowd ROARS in unison as the Gunslingers get them some of Rico de Janeiro. The King of the Mardi Gras rocked by a series of right hands and Cowboy Bebop bionic elbows. Jelly-legged, Rico is sent for the ride and leveled by a pair of FLYING SHOULDERBLOCKS! COLE Arkansas Toothpick! COACH Has it struck anybody how odd it is for two guys from Texas to use a move called an Arkansas Toothpick? Must be a Melody thing. The Gunslingers allotted 5 seconds are up and Baron must return to the corner. As the referee escorts him back Lucius forearms Jock in the upper back, knocking him through the ropes and to the ground. Rico quickly shakes off the cobwebs and rams the Texas Twister FACE-FIRST INTO THE STEEL GUARDRAIL… COLE That’s an automatic disqualification under HI-YAH rules, but the referee didn’t see it. …and then INTO THE RINGPOST! COLE And that’s another automatic disqualification right there! COACH Yeah, but like you said, the referee didn’t see it. And you can’t call what you didn’t see. Ha! Baron and Melody express a great deal of concern as they’re restrained by the referee. Melody on the verge of tears once Jock is rolled in a BLOODY MESS. COLE Oh, my. Oh, my, my. COACH Well, on the bright side, he hit a gusher. Get it? Gusher? Oil? Texas? COLE Now is not the time for jokes, Coach. Jock Mulligan is one of the finest young men you’ll ever meet and to see him in this state is…it’s horrible. COACH If it weren’t my job I wouldn’t want to come to…either. ONE… TWO… FOOT ON THE ROPE. Lucius targets the open wound, BITING and driving his fist into Jock’s forehead. Jock’s face continues to take a pounding as he and the sole of Rico’s boot are introduced violently. Rico happily accepts the tag from Lucius, stroking his porn ‘stache as he enters the ring and smashes his right forearm into the midsection of the Texas Twister. Rico pulls him out of the corner and delivers a gut wrench suplex, followed by a succession of elbow drops and the cover. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Melody and Jock encourage the crowd to get behind Jock and it works. “LET’S GO JOCK!” “LET’S GO JOCK!” “LET’S GO JOCK!” Rico taunts the crowd after placing Jock in a debilitating neck vice, pretty much spiting in each and every fans face. “RICO SUCKS!” “RICO SUCKS!” “RICO SUCKS!” Nowhere to go Jock’s only escape is to GOUGE the eyes of Rico de Janeiro! COLE Well, that’s one way to get it done, even if it’s not legal. Lucius sprints across the ring and knocks Baron off the apron to prevent any chance of a tag, drawing him inside, thus allowing the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew to isolate Jock near their corner. Yet another tag is made by the champions and Lucius makes quite a splash from the apron…a SLINGSHOT 450 SPLASH! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! FOOT ON THE ROPE. COACH Jock’s operating on instincts now, Cole. The second time tonight he’s been saved by the ropes. Soul whips Jock into the corner and hits the SOUL BROTHER (360 STINGER) SPLASH! Jock can barely stand as he stumbles out towards the center of the ring and right in the direction of a POUNCE…that’s lands him near his corner, allowing Baron to TAG HIMSELF IN! LUCIUS “YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE I don’t think that’s what Lucius had in mind. Baron uses his long legs to kick Soul in the gut, hammer him across the back of the neck with a judo chop and land a big right hand. Enter Rico, who Baron casually flips over his shoulder in a backdrop. It’s 2 on 1 for the time being and Baron does more than hold his own, he kicks ass. Soul and de Janeiro both receive a pair of Cowboy Bebop elbows and a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER! Rico is sent flying out of the ring courtesy of a BIG BOOT, while a FLYING LARIAT decks Lucius! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Baron scoops Lucius up for the Devil’s Addition, his fall away slam maneuver…but Lucius lands on his feet and stuns him with a SWINGING DDT out of nowhere! ONE… TWO… THREE! NO! KICKOUT!! “YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH Damnit, I thought he had them! This is a helluva match, Cole. COLE And you’re seeing it on Thursday night’s one number rated program. Forearm shivers and kicks to the legs and body rattle the 6’7” Texan, who is then fired into the buckle. But he gets the BOOT up as Lucius charges in, sending him staggering out of the corner and in perfect position for a BULLDOG!! COLE Bulldog! He got him with the bulldog! We’re gonna have new champions! Desperate times call for desperate measures, and sensing their tag titles are in trouble Rico reaches into his bag of sleazy tricks, grabbing one of the tag belts from the timekeeper’s table. With Melody occupied with the welfare of Jock, Rico has a clear shot at Baron. He slithers inside the ring like the snake in the grass that he is… “YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” ONE… TWO… THR-- …and is WALLOPED between the eyes by a LOGAN MANN RUNNING AXEHANDLE SMASH!!! * DINGDINGDING * Logan mounts on top of Rico just as he did Sunday night at hammers away. COACH I told you, Cole. This guy is an egomaniac. What business does he have out here? COLE Protecting a friend. COACH And I think he just cost them the tag titles again. With friends like that... The arena falls in a hush silence as Baron yanks Logan off of Rico and gives him a mouthful. Logan doesn’t even bother to explain himself and walks away, but Baron brings him back face to face which doesn‘t go over well with Mann. Tensions really rise as the two BUTT heads. Still on the ground just feet away is Rico, a look of shock on his face as he watches the second coming of the Mega Powers about to explode. He quietly sneaks out and heads for higher ground along with Lucius. They want no part of what may happen. Meanwhile, Melody reassumes her role as peacemaker but neither side wants to hear of her “make love, not war” garbage, even though that’s more of a COD thing but she doesn’t want to see friends fight. COLE What in the world is going on? These guys are ready to tear at each other’s throats. “YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” The crowd reacts as HOLLY-WOOD and SYNTH make their way to the ring. But Synth isn’t there to defuse the situation, he tries to ignite it, shoving Baron who retaliates in kind. Lost in the mayhem is Jock Mulligan. At least EMTs are there checking on him. OAOAST officials soon follow. They assist Jock and get between the Heavenly Rockers and Baron. Melody can be heard apologizing to Holly and asking if they’re still friends. Holly just wants to calm her man. COLE An explosive situation to say the least. One that may be the direct result of what my broadcast colleague pointed out, and that’s the Heavenly Rockers cost the Lone Star Gunslingers the HI-YAH tag team championship yet again. While I firmly believe there was no ill intent involved, I can understand Baron’s feelings. COACH They had the match won. I’m as big a supporter of the MGHWC as you’ll find, but even I have to admit they were fortunate to retain their titles here tonight. But for now let's turn it over to Josh Matthews. Josh? We go backstage where Josh Matthews is standing by with Jacob Cross.) JOSH I'm backstage with Jacob Cross the newcomer to the OAOAST. As of late you've been on a tear in that ring, even earning yourself a 24/7 title shot. Unfortunately you were unsuccessful last week in capturing that title due to questionable tactics on the part of Cuban Wall. What are your thoughts one week removed from that match? CROSS What are my thoughts? My thoughts are live and learn. I'm not going to come out here and whine about getting punched in the junk in front of all the fans. I'm not going to whine about getting pinned in the middle of the ring. I've cut my share of corners during my time and I say do what you have to do to win. JOSH So you are not looking for a rematch against Wall? CROSS I figure the higher ups gave me that shot just to see what I was made of. I'm not naive enough to think that I will get another one so quickly. The best thing to do is to look ahead and not back. Never look back Josh. What's done is done and what's behind you is behind you. JOSH Great words of wisdom from Jacob Cross. CROSS Well it's like my Dad used to say.... WHO GIVES A CRAP WHAT HE SAID!!! (Cross and Matthews turn quickly to see Vitamin X heading into view followed by Cuban Wall.) VITAMIN X No one wants to hear the ramblings of an old drunk. No one wants to hear about how you're “on a tear” as of late, especially when you lost last week! BOOOOOOO!!!!! VITAMIN X You are pathetic. You sit back here and talk about moving on and “what's done is done”, but that's just because you want everyone to forget that you choked when the chips were down. (Vitamin X grins at Wall over the poker reference he made to Jacob Cross.) CROSS Alright. I admit I underestimated Cuban Wall and paid for it, but I've got a lot more matches left in my career so there's no use worrying about one loss. VITAMIN X No no no I want you to admit right here in front of everyone that you not only choked, but you got your ass handed to you by a better man! (Cross folds his arms and stares at Vitamin X without saying a word.) VITAMIN X Alright I see how it's going to be. Need I remind you that you and I have a match later tonight? Maybe then we can show you how to properly respect your superiors! CROSS I'll be sure to remember that when I meet one. VITAMIN X You just don't get it do you? I realize you are new here, but around here the Lightning Crew demands respect! Come on Wall let's let the cowboy think about that for awhile. (Vitamin X and Cuban Wall walk away leaving Cross to fume to himself as Josh Matthews looks shocked.) COLE Folks, HeldDOWN returns with The X Man against Cross, and CPA against Shayne Brave in twelve rounds of boxing. Yes, that's right. Boxing. Stay tuned. COMMERCIAL

i'VE NEVER HRD OF TUPELO! i need education! The city website teaches us Built in the heart of the Mid-South, our $16 million facility is designed to accommodate events that demand comfort, convenience and flexibility. The BancorpSouth Arena consistently hosts the largest meetings and best performers by offering the highest quality facilities and services. From our spectacular Grand Opening on October 9, 1993 hosted by Bill Cosby to the present, the BancorpSouth Arena continues to be a favorite stop among artists. Thanks Tupelo u r so dude right now.

Oooh, just a little too late, Zack already called it. If your segment can stand alone, and doesn't have anything that's supposed to come after it, you can have the mainevent spot, should you want it.

YEAH!

wrestling is for fags and slow children and because i am only one of those two things i think wrestling is hella weak, so i will have a boxing match between CPA and Shayne Brave. lol no one else is doing anything, the mainevent of a fake fighting show will be a fake boxing match. lololololololololololol

FUCK CREDITZ NL WEST STANDINGS NIGGA Dodgers 29 21 Padres 29 21 Diamondbacks 29 23 Giants 24 25 Rockies 24 27 U 2 OLD FGTS

Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat in front of his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the monitor...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid's shock and delight. THE OAOAST...WHAT THREE PEOPLE ARE READING AND TWO OTHER DUDES ARE SKIMMING~! And now we're treated to the ultra expensive, over directed, poorly acted opening video of School's Out, done in tribute to the bitchingest movie I've ever seen, Dazed and Confused. The laid back stylings of Aerosmith's Sweet Emotion cradle us back to the seventies, where the OAOAST wasn't the billion dollar entertainment empire it is now, rather it was little more then the name of a high school in a small Missouri town known as...uh...OAOASTville. Yes that will do. We're shown the OAOAST High School Building, a massive brick complex where a banner that reads LAST DAY OF SCHOOL hangs above the front doors. Sweeeeeeeeeet emoooooooootion Sweeeeeeeeeeet emoooooootion As the seniors have already cleared out of the school, it's the current juniors, the seniors of next year who rule the school. We watch in a mixture of joy, horror, and comedic disbelief, as the junior class, (made up entirely of oaoast superstars), engages in various acts of subhuman high school debauchery on this last day before summer break. Zack Malibu and Bohemoth delight in dumping the class nerd, Christian Wright's head into an unflushed toilet. Synth Esizer sits in wood shop, passionately instructing Tyler Bryant on the proper way to keep your cool on a bad acid trip. Leon Rodez is directing a flock of pigs to take a dump on the statue of assistant principal Anglesault. The cool girl clique of Krista, Alix, Maggie, and Holly-Wood hang out in the bathroom drinking beers, smoking cigarettes, and kicking out any underclasswoman stupid enough to enter their private smoking lounge. In the parking lot PRL wages war with Melody Nerdly in a low rider contest, kindly ignoring the fact Melody is competing with a pogo stick. when you talk about things and nobody cares wearin' other things that nobody wears callin' my name but i gotta make it clear I can't say baby where i'll be in a year some smack talkin mama with a face like a gent said my get up and go musta got up and went well i got good news she's a real good lier cause the backstage boogie set your pants on fire The view switches to the outside of the pristine and orderly OAOAST middle school. Yet, the scholarly calmness of the school is quickly disrupted by the lunatic chaos of OAOAST highschool as a pickup truck driven by Ned Blanchard, and containing Simon Singleton and Christopher Patrick Allen rumbles into the parking lot. Each wearing red and white stripped polos and bell bottom jeans, they pour out of the car with shit eating grins on their faces. Ned holds a microphone to a loud speaker in his left hand, and a paddle in his other. He speaks into the microphone, waving his paddle in the air, aiming a threat at the boys of the graduating eighth grade class. BLANCHARD Alright, you freshman cocksuckers, here's the deal. See, this is your very lucky day, because we are offering you the deal of a lifetime. Usually we'd beat your ass all summer long. But most of us have better things to do then hunt done some pieces of shit who's balls haven't dropped yet. Smokin the pipe, drinking the beer, chasing the tail, you know. Or no you don't because you haven't had pussy since pussy had you. But because we're such nice folks, we're gonna offer you generous deal. You meet us right in this parking after school, and all you'll get is one whupping from each of us. But if you run like cowards, and try to save your ass, then well...it's gonna be a hot summer for all of you. And gentlemen, please decide soon, because time is up in (checks watch) 5...4...3....2....1...... Now we hear the powerful sounds of What I've done by Linkin Park. As the top forty hit plays the audience is treated to various highlights of the events that have led to tonight's matches. When that video concludes the view switches to an exterior shot of the arena. Stationed outside the Toyota center and surrounded by hundreds of screaming OAOAST fans are our hosts for the evening, no not Tony and Jesse I am too cool for old ass grandpas, but... Josh "J.Math" Matthews & Maggie Nerdly! MAGGIE What's up, ya'll? The OAOAST is taking over one city at a time! Maggie Nerdly kicking it live here in Houston, T-X, with Josh Matthews, a hundred of my closest homeboys and homegirls. Can you make a little noise for me? “YEAAAAAA!” MAGGIE It's a beautiful night, with beautiful people, and we got a beautiful show going down! In the mainevent, The New York bad ass himself, Drek Stone, will actually grace us with his presence, and put his world title up for grabs against the postah boi Zack Malibu! MATTHEWS Drek Stone is a guy that many considered to be the best singles wrestler this company has ever had. But now all that luster, and allure has completely disappeared. If he's not despised by the fans, then he is outright forgotten and dismissed. He has made three measly title defenses, and has held the belt for nearly nine months. Tonight, Zack Malibu, my man, has the chance to be the OAOAST's hero once again, and return a little bit of prestige to the OAOAST world title. MAGGIE Ladies, we got a major league treat for you! Because Silky Smooth Leon Rodez, the golden stud from Grand Rapids is in the house tonight. And he's throwing down with a man who may or may not be the antichrist, Theodore Moneymaker.... MATTHEWS The fifty dollars Mister Moneymaker slipped into my pocket this afternoon requires me to state that he has the talent of Lou Thez, the beauty of Tom Cruise, the cool of James Dean and the heart of Mother Theresa. But all that aside, the bond Leon had with Jade was beyond tight. But then Theodore's wallet came and tore it apart. Now Leon is cold, alone, he's just a person on his own. Moneymaker, on the other hand, grows stronger by the day. He is the most powerful man in the OAOAST. You don't gotta respect the man, but you gotta respect his cash. MAGGIE A guy who doesn't get a whole lotta respect round here is Tha Puerto Rican. And if you're not his fam', you're gonna love what's going down tonight. He's gonna be locked inside a thirty foot high steel cell with the baddest man on the planet, the Meterosexual Monster, Bohemoth! MATTHEWS You don't want to hear me talk about Bohemoth! But I'll tell you this, Puerto doesn't get his respect because he's one of the greats. And when you're one of the greats there are always jealous people looking to run your cause down. But I don't give a rip about the haters, and I don't give a rip about how big Bo is or how many muscles he's got, Puerto plain and simple is a better wrestler then him, and I will drink gas station toilet water if he loses! Puerto is the best, no question. Bo isn't even a real challenge. MAGGIE Oh man, why are you so into Tha Puerto Rican? What does he co-sign loans for you? Did he refinance your mortgage? Remove lips from ass before using brain! Whatever, the show keeps on getting hotter and hotter, because we've got The Enterprise, The Beverly Hills Blonds, Christopher Patrick Allen, and Christian Wright heading up against my own personal dream team, D*LUX, and OAOAST tag champs Chicks Over Dicks. I already spoke on my thoughts on Moneymaker, but his crusade against gays and lesbians has completely crossed the line. It's the year 2007, guy, not 1957, open your mind, jerk! MATTHEWS That's right! And I do plenty to support the lesbian community. MAGGIE Like what? MATTHEWS I just bought Lesbian big boob bangeroo off Adult DVD Empire. MAGGIE I guess there's a GLAAD image award in your future! Last but not least, we've got the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew battling against The Heavenly Rockers. MATTHEWS Say no more, say no more. This feud is a result of the fact that Holly is a readhead. Redhead's are naturally more sexually adventorous then their blond and brunette counterparts. So of course she's gonna go hunting for some prime Brazilian meat like Rico! If Logan wants someone to blame, blame the ape that we all evolved from, but leave a good man like Rico alone! Oh yeah, I heard your big sister, Melody, has been logging onto his South American hardrive. Heheehehe. MAGGIE Do you want me to beat your ass? MATTHEWS (holding up a riding crop) Please do! MAGGIE Argh! Peeps, enjoy School's Out! The view is transported into the arena, where screaming fans have packed the venue, hoisting their signs and foam fingers into the air. The entrance set is decorated as though it came out of a school haunted house, spider webs hang from rusted dilapidated lockers, desks lie strewn about the floor caked in dried blood, chalkboards have the number 666 scrawled in horrific writing across them. Why didn't I tell you this in the booking thread? Because I just thought of it right now. COLE Folks, welcome to the Toyota Center! Michael Cole joined as always by The Coach! Johnathan, how about we kick it off with a little rock n roll?

consider it edited in

A celebration of Life Love. Liberty The Great Angle Bash June 24 We're shown an image of Los Diablos De Fuego sitting inside the VIP area of a chic dance club, surrounded by the hottest half naked studs our finance department can afford. All around the hedonistic collection of male hotties are blue, gold, red, and orange spotlights swirling through the throng of men that bump and grind on the dance floor. MARIACHI It's Mariachi! MORACCA And Moracca! MARIACHI And we are inviting all our homies in the Providence, Rhode Island area to come and dance the night away at OAOAST Liquid the hottest latin gay bar in New England. Our club features the best Hip Hop, Musica Latina & Old School, and $3.75 Long Island Ice Teas every Tuesday. All homies ages eighteen and over are welcome. MORACCA Smile! MARIACHI AND MORACCA The advertisement fades and an image appears on screen.... COLE You ready for this one, Coach? COACH Am I ever. It's been a loooooooooooong time coming. COLE For two years. TWO YEARS Drek Stone has done everything he thought would break the foundation of this company down. From his ill-fated attempt at a Civil War, to coming back and alienating friends to reclaim the OAOAST World Title, to avoiding the one man whom he had long disrespected but no doubt feared. Anglemania VI may have seen a Drek victory over Zack Malibu etched in stone, but tonight, we write the final chapter. Here at School's Out, can Zack Malibu, the heart and soul of our company, pass the test? Or will he cave under the pressure. Can Drek Stone make history as the only man in OAOAST history that Zack Malibu has never beaten? "Getting Away With Murder" hits, and the fans rise to their feet the moments the lights drop, waiting on their hero. Through the shower and sparks of the pyro at the entranceway steps Zack Malibu, and his appearance draws an even louder reaction from the crowd...possibly the loudest of the night, as Zack's popularity combined with the ultimate disdain and hatred of Drek Stone has these fans more riled up than ever before. Zack steps into the ring and removes his ring jacket, tossing it over the ropes as he awaits the arrival of the World Champion who has gone MIA. "Woke Up This Morning" hits, and the anti-Drek signs go up, the boos and jeers in full effect. After waiting for the song to fully "kick in", Drek Stone appears on an OAOAST broadcast for the first time in months, the OAOAST World Title that he's held hostage slung over his shoulder. Stone smirks, patting the belt and motioning to Zack, asking "you want this"? Stone stops midway down the ramp and raises the belt up in the air, truly basking in the glory that no one feels he deserves the belt. Drek comes and gets into the ring, walking right up to Malibu and dangling the belt in his face before proclaiming "it's staying with ME!" Drek then retreats to a corner, and Michael Buffer comes in to make with the introductions. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, THIS is your main event of the evening. A grudge match, set for one fall with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at stake! Introducing first, the challenger. From Providence, Rhode Island. This man has been an integral part of the OAOAST since his debut some five years ago. He has twice held the same title he challenges for tonight, and holds victories over such legendary superstars as Caboose, CobainWasMurdered, Crystal, Alfdogg, Bruce Blank, and the namesake himself, Anglesault. His dedication to his company is second to none, which has earned him the name of The Franchise. Also known for his resilience and persistence in battle, he has been dubbed a Modern Day Warrior...ladies and gentlemen, weighing in tonight at two hundred and five pounds, the challenger...ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALIBUUUUUUUU! The fans roar for Zack, and he keeps his focus, eyeing Stone across the ring from his corner. BUFFER Now introducing, the reigning and defending OAOAST World Champion. A native of Brooklyn, New York, this individual has become the most controversial in OAOAST history, going so far as to hold the World Title belt that many have worn so proudly hostage. He has drawn the ire of his opponent tonight, as well as millions around the world, by trying to defame the great name of the very company he works for. Tonight, he steps into the ring against his arch rival in a fight that is more than just a championship match...it's very personal. Weighing in tonight at two hundred and thirty five pounds, he is RRRRRRRRECKLESS...DRRRRRRRRRREK STOOOOOOOOOOOONE! COLE Well, this is certainly a rare occurance, seeing Drek Stone in action. COACH Maybe there was a method to his madness. Like, he did it to drive up the pay per view buys. COLE The only association Stone has with a buy increase would be more people bought to see him get his ass kicked than ever before. Stone holds the World Title belt in his hands, looking at his reflection in the center plate. When referee Hebner comes to claim the belt and remove it from the ring, Stone swipes it away from his grasp, giving the referee a rather cold stare. Stone then walks over to Malibu, dangling the belt in front of him yet again...and Zack responds with a hard slap that echoes through the arena, and could very well have popped Drek's jaw out of place! Stone stumbles back, then tries for a BELTSHOT~! with the title, but Zack ducks, then shoots for the legs and takes Drek down! Losing possession of the belt, Drek is hammered by shots from Malibu, and Hebner quickly takes the belt and hands it to Michael Buffer, urging him to hurry up and "ring the damn bell!" DING! DING! DING! The official bell sounds, despite the fact that the two arch rivals are already fighting. Stone tosses Malibu off of him and gets to his feet, but as he does Malibu again uses a double leg takedown and starts hammering away! Stone tries to cover up, tucking his elbows and using his forearms and hands to shield his face, while Malibu is relentless in pounding away. Luckily for Stone, he manages to reach out and grab the bottom rope, and Hebner has to come over and try his best to get Malibu off of him! Malibu just keeps pounding, so Earl has to physically pull him up off of Stone to give Stone the space that the rope break earned him! Stone gets up, but the moment he lets go of the ropes, Malibu bolts forward again, tackling him through the ropes so that both men spill out onto the ringside floor! COLE I don't think the ring...I don't think this ARENA can contain the hatred these two have for each other! Both men rise quickly, and Drek runs at Zack, grabbing his waist and running him into the guardrail! He rams a shoulder into his ribs, and while Zack reels, he starts responding with forearms across the back, then pulls Drek's head up and starts gouging his eyes! Drek screams, as Zack would be satisfied only after ripping them out of Drek's head...but luckily for Drek his eyesight remains intact thanks to the intervention of Earl Hebner! Earl not-so-easily pries Zack's hand away, distracting Zack long enough for Drek to hit a low kick, then lifts Zack up and drapes him crotch first onto the barrier! Stone staggers away, even shoving Hebner aside as he pulls the cable cord up from the floor and wraps it around Zack's throat! COACH Look at this, he's chokin' him, Mikey! Stone wraps the cord tightly around Zack's neck, standing a few feet away to keep away from any retaliation. Zack struggles, trying to remove the cord as he eases himself off the barrier...but once his feet hit the floor, Drek yanks back on the cord, snapping Zack back onto the floor, slamming the back of his head! Drek then folds the long cord in half, and then uses it as a makeshift whip, cracking it across Zack's exposed skin! COLE He's lashing him with that wire! He's sick! COACH I can't even make a racial joke since Zack's as white as you get! Stone gives up on the whipping, then drops down, pinning Zack's shoulders down with his knees while he presses the cord down onto Zack's throat, again trying to choke him. Earl Hebner tries again to stop the chaos, but Stone will not give up, going so far as to get up and shove Hebner down to the floor! COLE Come ON now! Drek Stone..."Reckless" is the perfect name for this son of a bitch, because he has NO remorse for what he does! Stone turns back around, as Malibu is getting up, and takes his head and rams it into the ring apron, once again putting Zack down. Zack is out of sorts as he tries to get to his feet, but it's not done without the help of Stone, who hits a kneelift to his back that sends him stumbling into the ringpost! Zack leans against the post, his face pressed against the cold steel, while Stone grabs the bottom rope for leverage and presses his foot into Zack's head, crushing it against the post! COACH Man alive! He's tryin' to crush his head like a grape! Blood pours out of Malibu's nose as he groans in pain, but luckily for him Hebner comes over and grabs Stone's leg, prying it away! Hebner orders the match back into the ring, and when Stone motions to blow the referee off and target Malibu, Hebner tells him flat out "I'll hand him the belt right now without thinking twice!". Stone ponders this, and then reluctantly enters the ring, while Malibu barely moves as he attempts to recover on the outside. COLE Earl Hebner is trying to rein these guys in, but I don't know if that's possible. I have a feeling that this is only going to be temporary. Hebner gets in the ring as well, sheiling Malibu from Stone, who paces the ring, waiting for his foe to get in. Groggy, Malibu crawls up onto the apron and into the ring, and as soon as he's in, Stone runs and kicks him in the side of the head, and then starts stomping him down. COACH He ain't gonna let him up, Mikey. He knows he can't afford to let him up! Stone keeps stomping, then hits the ropes, dropping a leg across the back of Malibu's head to keep him down! Stone then rolls Zack onto his back and hooks the leg, impatiently waiting for Hebner to make the count! ONE! T-NO! COLE Thankfully, Zack's not going to give up that easily! The crowd roars as Malibu kicks out, but Stone takes it to heart, dragging Zack to his feet and then taking him by the wrist and pulling him right into a clothesline! Zack meets the canvas yet again, but Stone pulls him up and sends him to the ropes, then runs toward Malibu as he rebounds and nails him with a kitchen sink (not the real item, but rather the running knee, although anything is possible with these two competitors!). Malibu doubles over, only to be brought up by Stone again, and this time sent hard into the corner. Zack grits his teeth as he collides with the turnbuckles, looking worse for wear...but when Stone charges in Malibu bolts out of the corner and spears him down to a mega-pop! Stone quickly rolls away when Malibu starts throwing punches, and when he gets to his feet, Malibu takes his legs out from under him, then holds them in palce while he delivers a well-placed stomp that takes Stone off his game! Malibu follows up with a jumping elbow drop, and then moves towards Stone, stalking him until the champion backs into the corner, fearing the retribution that Malibu wishes to dish out tonight at School's Out! COLE Sure, a cheapshot is OK. Using a wire to choke a man out is OK, but one on one, face to face in that ring, Drek Stone doesn't know what to do! Malibu approaches him in the corner, while Hebner calls for Stone to move out. As Malibu gets closer, Stone tries for another tride and true cheap tactic, trying to jab his thumb in Zack's eye...but Zack catches him by the wrist, then turns and throws Drek over his shoulder with a judo toss! Drek lands hard on the canvas, and catches a hard kick to the spine when he sits up, stunning him long enough for Malibu to reach down and tear at his mouth, trying to stretch his cheeks outward until they tear! COACH He's tryin' to pull his skin up over his skull! COLE The wars of 2006, the battles with Bruce Blank molded Malibu into a more vicious, more aggressive person when things get personal. When Blank went after Candie and baby Jenna, Malibu tossed aside everything he knew to become a killer. Now, with all that Drek Stone has made Malibu suffer through, we're seeing that side of him. The dark side of Zack Malibu has been let loose again! Zack yanks Stone up to his feet, then sends him to the corner, running right behind him so that the moment Stone hits, he's crushed by a spear into the turnbuckles that makes his ribs quiver! Malibu continues with some more shoulderblocks, ramming into Stone's ribs, as the champion gasps for air! Zack then takes him by the head and hooks his arm under one of Drek's, bieling him out of the corner and halfway across the ring! Drek woozily gets to his feet, but once again he's allowed no rest, as he's blasted across the back of the head with a running lariat from the challenger! Stone hits the mat and rolls himself out under the bottom rope, simply letting himself collapse on the floor outside in an effort to get away from Malibu and regroup. COACH He might wanna rethink his strategy, Mikey Cole. Stone gets up, but Malibu is right on him, sliding out of the ring and giving chase to the World Champion. Stone rounds the corner and quickly slides back in...but Malibu isn't one to fall for the game, and grabs Stone by the ankle, yanking him back out to the floor and then nailing him with another clothesline! Malibu now taunts Stone as he lay looking at the lights, begging, daring, WANTING the champion to get up to take more of his medicine! Stone comes up, and Zack quickly takes him by the head and slams it into the announce table, staggering his foe yet again! COLE Thatta boy, Zack! After that shot, Zack swings Stone around and throws him back into the ring. Malibu climbs up onto the apron and patiently waits, targetting his opponent upon his recovery. He slingshots up onto the top rope and springboards in with a bodypress...but Stone manages to catch Zack, drop him on his feet, and then carry him over with a Northern Lights suplex! COACH He caught him! ONE! T-KICKOUT! Both men hurry to their feet, and Stone traps Zack in a butterfly lock and then uses the knees...a tactic Malibu himself has used in the past. Drek's knee finds it's mark on Malibu's upper body, stunning him and setting him up for a Tiger Bomb from the World Champion...but Zack lands on his feet, countering the move! Zack fires away with hard chops to Drek's chest, then starts striking him across the face with hard open hand slaps, numerous blows that send Stone spiraling into a daze before twisting his body a full 360 degrees and laying out the champion with a discus clothesline! The crowd ROARS with approval, the sight of Drek being pummeled something they have waited oh so long for, and Malibu dives on top of his rival for the pin! ONE! TW-KICKOUT! Malibu gets up as if the pin attempt never happened, and drives the sole of his foot into Drek's chest before bringing him up to his feet. Malibu takes Drek by the head and runs him into the top turnbuckle, then spins him around and lifts, dropping Drek crotch first on the top rope! Malibu then climbs up onto the middle rope and opens fire with more hard slaps across Drek's face before moving up onto the top rope...but as he attempts to bring Drek up, Drek shoves him down to the canvas! Zack lands on his feet and rushes the corner, pushing Drek's leg out from under him to crotch him AGAIN as he tries to stand! COACH Ooooooh, that could not have felt good to the little mister! COLE "Little mister"? You have formal names for Drek Stone's genetalia? COACH It's not like I singled him out, I... COLE You have formal names for more than one man's genetalia? COACH Yea...NO! I mean...shut up, Cole, and watch the match! Malibu brings Stone off the turnbuckle and onto his shoulders in a fireman's carry, then walks towards center ring and starts spinning...and spinning...and spinning...and spinning around in an Airplane Spin that apparently has no end in sight! COLE We haven't seen this in a while! Malibu keeps rotating round and round, dizzying both himself and his opponent, finally ending the spin after he throws Stone up off his shoulders and onto his knee with a gutbuster! Zack then falls back to the canvas, exhausted from the airplane spin, while the combination of dizziness and a gutbuster is probably going to lead to some puking from Mr. Stone later this evening! Drek crawls across the ring without a clue of where he is...and as he starts to come to, Zack races across the ring and nails him in the side of the head with a ZACK ATTACK~!, knocking Stone out to the floor once again! COLE There goes Stone once again, and it seems to me that while Stone is considered "Reckless", Zack Malibu is nothing short of relentless tonight! Malibu works the crowd, while Stone is beside himself on the floor. Zack exits the ring and goes after him, nailing him with a pair of forearms...but when he lures Stone close, Drek drops to the floor and hits a low blow, then sends Zack sailing into Michael Buffer, knocking the announcer out of his seat and knocking the timekeepers table over in the process! COACH Watch out Mikey Cole, he might throw him on you next! Stone staggers over, tossing the ring bell, the table, and Buffer aside to get to Zack, who is mangled up against the guardrail. Stone grabs the chair Buffer was on and folds it up, and then jabs the end of it into Zack's throat, pressing it in as hard as possible, trying to choke the life out of the fan favorite! COLE Get off of him! C'mon! Zack struggles, while Hebner exits the ring, trying to get the chair from Stone...and he GETS IT alright, as Stone LEVELS the poor official with a brutal chairshot that lays him out! COACH EARL! The crowd boos loudly as Stone stands over Earl Hebner, watching as blood trickles out of his head and pools on the floor. Zack manages to get up, but Stone turns and swings, leveling Zack with a hard chairshot as well! COLE He's sick...SICK! Zack collapses to the floor, and Stone unloads, beating him viciously with chairshots to the body before tossing the chair aside and rubbing Zack's face into the floor, trying to break his nose! In the midst of all this, a stretcher is wheeled down the ramp, as medical staff come to aid Earl Hebner. COLE We've got no referee now! COACH I don't think Drek or Zack are gonna notice. Drek throws down the chair and goes over to the staff, shoving and kicking them aside and making room so that he can stand over Earl Hebner's bloodied body. Drek grabs the lifeless ref by the collar, telling him that he needs to "learn to stay out of my way!" The staff pleads with Stone to back off, which he begrudgingly does...turning around and catching a right hand from Malibu, who can barely stand! After connecting with the punch, Zack saves himself from falling over, using the ring apron to catch his balance before taking Drek by the head and hurling him onto the commentator's table! COLE Watch out, Coach! COACH All I know is Anglesault better up our insurance benefits! Zack takes over, hammering Stone with right hands as he's sprawled out on the table. Zack takes Coach's monitor and tosses it to the floor, then takes Michael Cole's monitor and RAMS it into Stone's ribs! Stone gags after the shot, and Malibu nails him with another hard right before moving away, grabbing the chair off the floor, and hopping up to the apron. COLE What...what's he doing? What's he doing, Coach? COACH I DON'T KNOW YOU'RE SEEING THE SAME THING AS ME! Malibu takes the legs out of the chair in his hand, then leaps off the apron, swinging the chair over his head before bringing it down as he lands, cracking the chair over the monitor and Drek's ribs! COLE Good God! Stone convulses, and begins to cough up blood, as his internal organs must be turning to Jell-O. Malibu, bleeding and dazed now takes the monitor and throws it down to the floor, then rolls back into the ring. COLE Zack's trying to capture the momentum again, but he's hurting, and...wait a second...wait a second COACH MOVE! Just before Cole's scared reaction, Zack took a deep breath and ran the ropes, coming off the far side with as much speed as he could muster before DIVING OVER THE ROPES AND CRASHING DOWN ONTO DREK STONE, SENDING THEM BOTH THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE~!~! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" Thanks to the crash, the mics have shorted, leaving the announcers speechless to the audience at home. The cameras zoom in on the two combatants, both looking horribly worn. Stone holds his arms over his ribs, rolling to his side and coughing up blood on the floor, while Malibu lay at the feet of Cole and Coach, who check on Zack themselves. About half the medical staff that were tending to Earl Hebner remain behind, and come over and start checking on the two. COLE ...on? Are we on? OK we've got the mics back, Coach. COACH Testes, testes...one, two...three? COLE What an amazing, what a suicidal move by Zack Malibu! A swan dive splash through our announce table has rendered both he and the World Champion incapacitated! The staff check on Zack and Drek, when the crowd starts popping, because ANGLESAULT is on his way down the ramp! COLE The man in charge is heading this way! Anglesault looks as concerned as the stunned audience, as he comes over and surveys the condition of both competitors. Along with the medical staff, he helps Zack up, while two others lifts Stone up to his feet...but Malibu quickly breaks free and spears Stone back down, then starts hammering on him with right hands! COLE Zack's not done yet! Zack backs everyone away as he picks Drek up and rolls him into the ring, then leans on the apron for a second to catch his breath. The staff try their best to tend to him, but Zack breaks away and climbs into the ring, going after Drek! Stone crawls across the mat, blood dripping from his head and mouth. He pushes himself up to his feet, but nearly falls over in the process, only to be caught by Zack and taken over with a GERMAN SUPLEX~! that, of course, is just the first of many, as Zack rolls through, bringing Stone up again, and DOWN again with another one! Third time is the charm as another German hits, and as they come up, Zack switches up, trying for the ANGLE SLAM~!...but Drek slides out and falls back, caught by the ropes! Zack turns and charges, but Drek ducks his head and elevates Zack over...but Zack lands on the apron and snaps Drek to the canvas by his head, then slingshots in with a legdrop...but Drek rolls out of the way, frantically getting to his feet and grabbing Malibu during his recovery, planting his head into the mat with a STONECUTTER~! COLE STONECUTTER BY DREK STONE! ZACK MALIBU JUST GOT ROCKED BY THE CHAMPION'S FAVORITE MANUEVER! COACH Favorite other than "avoiding responsibility" and "attempting to destroy the OAOAST", right? COLE Right. Both men lay on the canvas, Zack's face buried in it as Drek looks up at the spotlights. Drek rolls over and rolls Malibu onto his back, covering him...but there's no referee, thanks to Drek's actions earlier! COLE There's no one to count the fall! COACH You're complaining!? Drek has the cover, then realizes that no one can count to three. He gets up in a bloody daze, looking around...and sees Anglesault heading to the back with Hebner, and calls out to him, ordering HIM to get in the ring and make the count! COLE Look at this...Drek Stone is calling out Anglesault! He wants Anglesault to count the pinfall! COACH You know what he's doing here, Mikey Cole...he's putting Anglesault on the spot, because Anglesault has the authority, and if he don't use it, then Drek's accusations look real! COLE Been watching your Law & Order lately, eh Coach? Anglesault stares at Drek, then takes off his suit jacket and throws it down, walking to the ring. Drek moves back into position, covering Malibu, as Anglesault slides under the bottom rope and stares coldly at Drek before counting... ONE! TWO! NO! NO! ZACK MALIBU KICKS OUT! Drek, furious, pounds the mat and gets up, grabbing Anglesault by the collar and backing him into the corner! Stone wraps his hands around his throat, screaming at him as he tries to choke him, but Anglesault fights back, shoving Drek away...RIGHT INTO AN ANGLE SLAM FROM A RECOVERED ZACK~! Both men remain motionless on the canvas once again, until Malibu musters up the strength to roll over and drape an arm across his arch rival. ONE! TWO! TH-KICKOUT! KICKOUT AT THE LAST POSSIBLE INSTANCE~! COLE This can't be happening...HOW are they both still able to keep up with each other like this!!? Zack slowly brings Drek up, but Drek quickly responds with a jawbreaker to send him away! Malibu falls to one knee, but when Stone approaches, Zack pops up and goes for a flash SCHOOL'S OUT...but Stone catches it and smiles a sick smile, complete with blood caked teeth! He throws Malibu's leg down and runs in with a lariat, but Zack throws up his elbows, blocks the shot, and drives him down with an STO~! COLE Come on Zack, take him out! End this all...end the era of Drek Stone! Zack gets up, circling the ring and watching as Stone holds his head, trying his damndest to sit up. Anglesault sits back in the corner and watches, allowing Zack carte blanche to have his way with the man who attempted his best to put both of them out and damage the legacy of their company and the World Title. Drek slowly gets up, trying to stay balanced as he gets vertical, but the moment he's on his feet, Malibu fires off with SCHOOL'S OUT~! AND IT'S CAUGHT AGAIN...LOW KICK BY DREK DROPS ZACK TO HIS KNEES~! COACH DAMN! Drek stands over Zack, and Anglesault comes and spins him around...and HE gets a low kick as well, then a slap across the back of the head! Drek proclaims "I'm gonna kill your damn company AND your hero", then turns back to Zack and spits right in his face, then slaps him in a taunting fashion proclaiming "you can't kill me, Zack!" Drek forcefully grabs Malibu by the head and then starts biting at his forehead, pulling away and now spitting Zack's own blood back in his face before violently grabbing his neck, pulling him into STONECUTTER position...but Zack pushes him away, right into Anglesault, who shoves Stone forward RIGHT INTO SCHOOL'S OUT~! COLE HE GOT HIM! COME ON ZACK~! Zack falls on top of Drek Stone, and Anglesault, still favoring himself with one hand, uses the other one to do the one thing people have been waiting to see all night. ONE! TWO!! THREE!!! COLE HE DID IT! HE DID IT! COACH ALRIGHT ZACKY~! The crowd ROARS, the response absolutely deafening, as Malibu remains on top of Drek Stone, likely whispering some ideas for a new occupation into his ear, since Drek Stone is no longer World Champion. From the back, numerous OAOAST superstars hit the ring, as Zack is helped up by Anglesault and is handed the very belt that he made the most prized possession in wrestling today. Once again, Zack Malibu has the OAOAST World Title fastened around his waist! COLE Fans, THIS is a moment. The OAOAST is back in the hands of the man who made it famous, the man who made it stand for something...Zack Malibu is once again OAOAST World Champion, and Drek Stone...Drek Stone, for all you've done to try to tear us apart, you can go to hell, my friend. Straight to hell! Drek is nothing more than an afterthought as he's rolled out of the ring to the floor...medical staff tend to him there, while Malibu is hoisted up onto the shoulders of Scotty Static and Johnny Jax, the big gold belt fastened firmly around his waist. For Drek Stone, school is in fact out, and another semester is starting. Your teacher? Zack Malibu: OAOAST World Champion once again! FADE OUT

The OAOAST Starbucks Doubleshot Expresso Instant Replay shows Bohemoth giving Tha Puerto Rican a Stunner from the ring apron. While in real time, PRL is up and slowly walking over to some ring steps. COLE Bohemoth turned things around by hitting PRL with a Stunner from the outside. An impressive move from the big man! But what's PRL going to do? COACH What's PR going to do, you ask? Why, take off the top ring steps and use them as a weapon of course! And indeed, that's what PR does, removing the top two ring steps from their base, and then lifting them up over his head, before bringing them down onto Bohemoth's back! COLE Oh no! COACH Hey, his career is on the line here! You'd do the same thing if you were Tha Puerto Rican! COLE But I'm not Tha Puerto Rican, and I'd never want to be! COACH Not even if you could have sex with Lindsay Gonzalez? COLE ESPECIALLY because of that! PR bashes the ring steps into Bohemoth's back again! The crowd boos! COLE PRL smashing those ring steps right into the spine of "The Metrosexual Monster"! Bohemoth lies on the floor breathing heavily. TPR looks very ANGRY as he holds the ring steps over Bohemoth's body. The crowd boos loudly. "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" THA PUERTO RICAN Your ass is mine, fool. PRL watches as Bohemoth turns over onto his stomach. He then pushes himself up onto his hands and knees. *BAM!* PRL hits Bohemoth with the ring steps for a third time! COACH 1! 2! 3! He got him good! PRL throws the ring steps aside. He does the "You can't see me!" hand gesture just to be an ass. COLE Those steps weigh AT LEAST 150 lbs.! PRL stops to catch his breath, and then climbs the bottom ring steps. He taunts the fans, and then grabs Bohemoth who was crawling on the floor. COLE PRL with the advantage now! He has Bohemoth right where he wants him! COACH He's going for the kill! I can feel it! I know he is! PRL places Bohemoth in between his legs. The crowd buzzes in anticipation of P.R.'s next move. P.R. grabs Bohemoth and tries to lift him up! P.R., using the bottom ring steps as a way to make himself the same height as Bohemoth, tries to lift Bohemoth up again. He gets Bohemoth off his feet, but fails to follow through. COACH Is he gonna do it? Is he actually going to do it? COLE He's going for a Piledriver, but can't seem to get it! PR tries a third time. He manages to *almost* get Bohemoth in position to finish the Piledriver, but then Bohemoth gets back to his feet. PR then tries for the fourth time and *this* time he gets Bohemoth up in the air all the way so that he can drill him into the bottom ring steps with a Piledriver! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH He did it! He actually did it! Woo-hoo! COLE I can't believe my eyes! Bohemoth has just been given a Piledriver by Tha Puerto Rican! Tha Puerto Rican, the 5'9" 220 pound Puerto Rican lifted up and gave the 6'7" 284 pound Bohemoth a Piledriver! What a scene we just saw! COACH The tide is shifting, Mikey! Soon, people will remember School's Out 2007 as the day Tha Puerto Rican took down "The Metrosexual Monster" once and for all! PRL rests on the bottom ring steps, using most, if not all the energy he had left to Piledrive Bohemoth. Bohemoth lies on the floor, breathing heavily and holding his head in pain. COLE Did you hear Bohemoth's skull hit those steps? PRL tells a cameraman to move out of the way, or in his own words, "Get the fuck outta my way, dorkface!" PRL stands up, getting a second wind now. Bohemoth is still on the ground, but PRL is on the ring apron. So, PRL jumps off the ring apron and stomps on Bohemoth's body! COACH Just like Bohemoth stomped PRL's teeth earlier! COLE I don't think you can compare the two. I mean, the guy lost TEETH! PRL is still lisping while he trash talks thanks to the two missing front teeth. He spits some blood at Bohemoth! PR laughs manically while the referee tries to retain *some* law and order in this match. Bohemoth is still lying on the protective mats. COACH This is turning into a little preview of Hell for Bohemoth! COLE You're right! Bohemoth is in a bad way here! "BO-HE-MOTH!" "BO-HE-MOTH!" "BO-HE-MOTH!" "BO-HE-MOTH!" TPR rolls back into the ring. He gets up and rests on the ring ropes. His hair is matted now. He clutches his back for a few seconds and then climbs the top rope. COLE Oh no. Now what? COACH Something good, I bet! PRL is hunched over on the top turnbuckle. He watches as Bohemoth uses the steel mesh to pull himself up. PRL taunts Bo, and then rolls his eyes when Bo takes a little while to get up. Finally, Bohemoth gets to his left knee. He then slowly gets to a vertical base. At that point, PRL jumps off the top rope and nails Bohemoth with a double axehandle! COLE The Corporate Axe from Tha Puerto Rican! PRL using the ropes for more momentum, knocking Bohemoth back down! COACH You know all the mind games. The caskets, the body bags, the bloodied T-shirts, the tombstones. It's all coming back to bite Bohemoth in the ass! He said that karma was gonna get PRL? Well, karma is really going to get Bohemoth, and it's getting him right now, tonight here at School's Out! And I love it! I freaking love it! COLE Bohemoth is down, and one things for sure: when Bohemoth is down he can't give you the Erotic Awakening Of B! COACH Exactly. P.R. sneers at Bohemoth, and then rolls back into the ring. He gets up and spits some more blood out of his mouth. PRL taunts some fans at ringside, calling them pieces of trailer park trash. COLE P.R. back in the ring. We talk about the resilience that Tha Puerto Rican has. That's been put to the test, and he's passed that test! Bohemoth is up and he's rolling into the ring. PRL stops him by kicking him in the face repeatedly! The former OAOAST X-Division Champion grabs the man who he feels is responsible for him losing the Title and positions him in the ropes. PRL measures Bo up...and then hits him with a Rock-style punch to the temple! He does it again! And again! And again! Punch! Punch! Punch! NOW KISS THAT LEFT! PUNCH! Bohemoth falls down to the mat! COACH August 26, 1993. October 31, 2034. November 23, 1654. December 25, 1492. May 5, 1988. June 15, 2004. July 12, 6567. Smarch 13, 1313! COLE That's not even a month! COACH Yes it is! Don't you hate that lousy Smarch weather? COLE Oy. PRL taunts Bohemoth some more, and then exits the ring. He looks under the ring apron for something. COLE What's he doing now? What's he looking for? COACH Anything he wants. It's all legal! PRL comes out with...a steel chair. "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" PRL throws the steel chair into the ring and follows himself. COLE That's what started it all! That's what started it all in the first place! A steel chair! PRL gets up and grabs the steel chair while the crowd grows antsy. P.R. has a look of disgust on his face as he raises the steel chair over his head and jaw jacks with the fans. Bohemoth starts to get up. COLE Remember this is no disqualification! He can use it! COACH And he better use it often! I want to see blood...on Bohemoth! PRL raises the steel chair over his head. The crowd is trying to warn Bohemoth of what's to come. Bohemoth pushes himself up and is now on his hands and knees. COACH It all makes sense. This all started with a chair, now let's end it with a chair! Bo is on his right knee. He slowly gets up. *WHAM!* PRL HITS BOHEMOTH IN THE BACK WITH THE STEEL CHAIR, KNOCKING HIM BACK DOWN! COACH Yes! Yes! All right! Give it to him! Give it to him! The crowd boos. Bohemoth lies flat on his back, his eyes closed. PRL sneers at Bohemoth while still holding the steel chair. COLE PRL has used the steel chair on Bohemoth AGAIN! For the fourth or fifth time, I've lost count! COACH It's all come full circle Michael. What started on April 12, 2007 ends tonight on May 27, 2007. PRL and Bohemoth are about to settle this once and for all and I've got my money on a certain Corporate Champion right about now! COLE Bohemoth is down again as a steel chair has yet to fail Tha Puerto Rican when it comes to dealing with Bohemoth! COACH Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. A LOUD "P.R. SUCKS!" chant starts up as P.R. paces back and forth. He takes a rest at a turnbuckle corner, staring down Bohemoth. He sees that Bohemoth is not moving, so he sets the chair on the turnbuckles, and then walks on over to where Bohemoth is lying. However, he changes his mind and looks back at the steel chair. CHARLES ROBINSON Come on! He's out! Put it away! Come on! Let's go! Put the chair away! COACH Like he'll listen to you in this type of a match! COLE PRL looking back at that chair. PRL tells Charles Robinson to "Shut your word hole!" He then walks back over to the turnbuckle corner and grabs the steel chair again. CHARLES ROBINSON No! Don't! That's enough! COACH Yes! Yes! Yes! Keep going! Do it until you can't do it no more! The crowd is growing antsy again. PRL walks on over, but is stopped by Charles Robinson. COACH All the referee can do is ask politely. He cannot take the chair away! He cannot disqualify him! PRL raises the steel chair over his head, and then lunges with it after Charles Robinson. "Lil' Naitch" quickly backs off after that. PRL has an evil grin on his face as he slowly walks over to where Bohemoth is lying, just like Bohemoth walked slowly towards him earlier. COACH Turnabout's fairplay Bohemoth! Bohemoth slowly turns to his side. He then slowly turns to his stomach so that he can push himself onto his knees. COLE Right now, Tha Puerto Rican is the 'Chairman' of the OAOAST! COACH Ooh! Bad pun! COLE Shut up, Coach! COACH No you shut up! COLE No you! COACH You! COLE You! COACH You! COLE You! COACH! You! Cole punches Coach in the face! COLE May 27, 2007! Bohemoth is breathing heavily as he stands on his hands and knees. He then only stands on his left knee. Bohemoth then slowly gets up. The crowd is buzzing in anticipation. COLE He's going to level him! COACH Look out! *WHAM!* PRL HITS BOHEMOTH IN THE BACK WITH THE STEEL CHAIR FOR A SECOND TIME~!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" PRL HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA! WOO! COACH It takes two to make things all right! COLE Right to the back! And look at PRL! He's smiling! He LIKES this! COACH And why not? Things are going his way, let him celebrate it! The Corporate One smiles evilly while looking at Bohemoth lying on the mat. He spits at him, but this time it's saliva, not blood. Charles Robinson tells PRL to throw the chair away, but P.R. keeps holding onto it. "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" The camera cuts to the party backstage where everyone is really worried now. Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly give each other looks of concern. "Shooter" Jay Darring and Lauren Gellar root Bohemoth on. K-NESS screams out, "LET'S GO BOHEMOTH! LET'S GO!" COLE The people at the party are not in a pleasant mood right now! COACH Aw. PR's going to be a party crasher when he comes out of this match alive! HA! HA! COLE A high concussion flow to the spine! PRL throws the steel chair away and then falls to his knees. He crawls over and covers Bohemoth. COLE This could be it? COACH Nobody thought he could do it! 1... 2... 2 1/2 2.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 3--BOHEMOTH SHOVES THA PUERTO RICAN OFF OF HIM! COLE No! COACH Crap! Tha Puerto Rican yells at the referee, but Charles Robinson says it was only a two count. Bohemoth slowly starts to get up. COACH I can't believe it! COLE You better believe it! Because it's true! COACH He was SOOOOO close! COLE Indeed he was Coach! But it was not to be! PRL still must fight in this match! Because Bohemoth won't give up! He will not submit! He will not quit yet! PRL is a little lost for a second, wondering what to do next. He decides to simply kick Bohemoth while he's down. PRL then picks "The Metrosexual Monster" up and takes him over to a turnbuckle corner. PRL attacks Bo with Rock-style punches to the temple. COLE PRL is assaulting Bohemoth! Who would have thought that would happen when this match began? COACH PRL. He knew. He knew. PRL keeps on punching Bohemoth. Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT! PUNCH! BLOCKED! BOHEMOTH PUNCHES PRL! "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" PRL punches Bohemoth! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Bohemoth punches PRL! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" PRL punches Bohemoth! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Bohemoth punches PRL! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" PRL punches Bohemoth! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" "BOO!" "YEAH!" "BOO!" "YEAH!" "BOO!" "YEAH!" "BOO!" "YEAH!" "BOO!" "YEAH!" "YEAH!" "YEAH!" "YEAH!" "YEAH!" "YEAH!" "YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Bohemoth knocks Tha Puerto Rican down! COLE And Bohemoth is right back in control! Bohemoth picks Tha Puerto Rican up. Bo whips PRL into the ropes. Bo goes for a clothesline, PRL ducks, bounces off the ropes, and hits Bo with a flying forearm! Bo and P.R. both fall to the mat! But 5 seconds later, Tha Puerto Rican KIPS UP~! to loud boos! PRL strikes a cocky pose, further irritating the crowd! COACH Yes! He's still got juice in his system! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is showing his arrogance! In the face of all of this adversity! COACH He's coming back, Mikey! Tha Puerto Rican is on the rebound! PRL sneers before grabbing Bohemoth by the legs, and pulling him into the center of the ring. Since Bohemoth is so damn big, PRL has a little trouble doing so. THA PUERTO RICAN God damn, you're heavy. Afterwards, P.R. exits the ring and climbs the top rope. COACH And look now! He's going to fly! He's actually going to fly! COLE Despite missing teeth, blood coming out of his mouth, and a severe beating at the hands of Bohemoth, The Corporate Champ STILL wants to go to the top rope! I don't know if this is a bright idea. COACH Of course it is! PRL steadies himself on the top turnbuckle. COLE PRL is so cocky. He is so self-assured. COACH You know why? Because he can be! PRL removes his left elbow pad and throws it aside since he's in the Cell and all. He then stands upright on the top rope, stares down at Bohemoth, and then leaps off the top, doing the "Up yours!" hand gesture in mid-air, and then dropping his left elbow right into Bohemoth's chest! COLE Corporate Elbow Drop! COACH And an excellent one if I do say so myself. PRL gets right back up and sneers at Bohemoth. He then power walks up to Bohemoth...and kicks his right arm onto his chest. "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Oh no. He's not--he's not going for it is he? COACH This is for everyone who thinks PR dies tonight! The crowd is standing up! Bohemoth's eyes are closed. PRL taunts the fans, and then removes his right elbow pad, spits on it, and throws it down onto Bohemoth's chest. COLE The thousands in the Toyota Center are standing up! COACH They wanna see it! They wanna see it! PRL does some weird hand signals, and then bounces off the ropes, leaps over Bohemoth, and then bounces off the opposite ropes. COACH It's now time for the electrifying move in professional wrestling, the IntenseZone Elbow! PRL stops, does some Hulk Hogan poses to mock Bohemoth, and then drops the IntenseZone Elbow to a loud pop from the crowd! COLE IntenseZone Elbow! COACH Yes! Bohemoth is finished! COLE What? COACH You heard me! The crowd is going nuts following the IntenseZone Elbow. PRL rolls through and is on his feet again. COACH Through all the pain, all the beatings, he is still standing and still ALIVE! COLE PRL is growing even MORE cocky by the second...as though that was even possible! P.R. spits some more blood out from where the gap in his teeth are. He continues taunting Bohemoth, who is still on the mat, as he heads to a turnbuckle corner. COLE P.R.'s got momentum now! COACH He's gonna do it! He's gonna do it! PRL points to Bohemoth...and then starts stomping his right foot a la Shawn Michaels. The crowd boos. COACH Oh yeah! Do it baby! Do it! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is 'Tuning up the band'! P.R. continues stomping his foot. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. Bohemoth starts moving his arms. PRL is motioning him to continue. COACH He's in trouble now! Real BIG trouble! COLE PRL is ready to strike. Bohemoth slowly sits up. He gets on his right knee. COACH PRL is about to become The Giant Killer! COLE Not another stolen nickname! PRL COME ON! The crowd is desperately trying to warn Bohemoth of his fate. But Bohemoth is still slowly getting up, so it's not getting through. PRL has an evil smile on his face as he watches Bo stand upright. COLE He's going for it! This could be the end! Tha Puerto Rican charges forward. Bohemoth turns around... *KA-POW~!* And gets hit with the SWEET CHIN MUSIC~!!!! COLE The Sweet Chin Music found its mark! Bohemoth is down again! COACH Yes! Yes! Yes! Go for it, P.R.! Go for yours! COLE Bohemoth is down on the mat! He got hit with the Sweet Chin Music! And usually, the Sweet Chin Music is the set-up for... "THAT'S IT!" COACH YES! COLE He's ready to end the match and retain his Golden Contract! The crowd boos loudly! PRL sneers at the crowd while Bohemoth continues lying on the mat. Puerto gets into his predator position. COACH We saw a Corporate Elbow Drop, an IntenseZone Elbow, a Sweet Chin Music, and now the Corporate Nightmare! That's four great moves in a row! What have done to deserve such a treat? COLE Maybe I kicked a dog in a past life. The boos get louder as Bohemoth starts to move his arms. P.R. motions for the big man to get up. He taunts his opponent as a "P.R. SUCKS!" chant starts. COACH There are 16,000-plus ready to bare witness to the final match in Bohemoth's career! Bohemoth moves to the side. He then pushes himself onto his hands and knees, breathing heavily all the while. COLE Bohemoth has been assaulted quite brutally over these past few minutes! And now, PRL is ready for the death blow! Bohemoth is on his left knee. COLE Bohemoth has never gotten the Corporate Nightmare before! COACH Well he's about to! Bohemoth slowly stands up straight. The crowd tries to warn him of what's behind him. COACH If Bohemoth was smart, he'd stay down. COLE Oh come on! He's out of it! He's not going to know! COACH Of course he's not going to know. He has no brain! COLE Oh will you stop? Bohemoth gets to a vertical base. When he does, P.R. nods. Bohemoth turns around-- KICK! WHAM! CORPORATE NIGHTMARE! BOHEMOTH WON'T BUDGE! COLE PRL is having trouble lifting Bohemoth up! PRL tries again! Bohemoth still won't budge! COACH Keep trying P.R.! Use all the strength you've got left! USE IT! USE IT! P.R. tries a third time, and this time he is able to get Bohemoth off his feet. The crowd boos. PR keeps straining and actually gets Bo higher and higher off the ground! COACH Oh my God! Look! He's doing it! He's really doing it! PRL keeps lifting Bo, amazing the crowd, until he's got him in the usual position he has people in for the Corporate Nightmare. He then DRILLS Bohemoth's head right into the mat to finish the move! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH YES! YES! COLE Corporate Nightmare! The Corporate Nightmare has been hit! Bohemoth is DOWN! COACH The match is over! It's all over! The crowd boos. PRL is lying on the mat also, the energy he needed for the Corporate Nightmare taking alot out of him. Both P.R. and Bo are breathing hard. COLE PRL gave Bohemoth the Corporate Nightmare! Bohemoth, the 6'7" 284 pound monster is knocked out! COACH And P.R. did it by himself! Did you see any Lightning Crew members helping him? No! See? He doesn't need their help! COLE I wish he proved that more often! PR gets up. The crowd boos. Puerto clutches his back, and breathes a sigh of relief. He points and laughs manically at Bohemoth's misery. THA PUERTO RICAN There's your hero! There's your monster! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHA! BOHEMOTH GETS RIGHT BACK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" THA PUERTO RICAN *Girlish Scream!* COLE HE GOT UP! HE GOT RIGHT BACK UP! COACH HOW DID HE DO THAT!? The crowd is going nuts! PRL looks like he's just seen a ghost! Bohemoth stares a hole through Tha Puerto Rican, and PRL takes that as a cue to start running away! COLE I think business has just picked up! COACH GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE! PRL zooms out of the ring and tries to open the Cell door. However, it is padlocked. Still, PRL keeps trying to pull the Cell door off its hinges as Bohemoth exits the ring and slowly walks over to where PRL is standing! COLE Wait a minute! Wait a minute! He's trying to get away! COACH He can't! The doors locked! COLE Try telling him that! Bohemoth grabs Tha Puerto Rican by his hair! PRL screams! Bohemoth slams Tha Puerto Rican's face on the Cell door! He does it again! And again! And again! And again! COACH What is he doing to PRL's beautiful face!? Big Bo pulls Tha Puerto Rican's legs out from under him, and then positions himself so that his back is to the steel mesh...before slingshotting Tha Puerto Rican right into it! COLE PRL driven right into the Cell! COACH Oh dammit! PRL falls to the floor! A small cut appears above his right eyebrow. Blood starts pouring out as Bohemoth gets up. COLE He's been busted open! Tha Puerto Rican has been busted open! COACH AAH! NO! Bohemoth picks the now-bleeding Puerto Rican up. He punches him right in the face! COLE February 13, 2004! Bohemoth punches PRL again! COLE March 21, 2005! Bohemoth punches PRL again! COLE June 16, 2006! COACH What the hell? Those aren't in chronological order! COLE Who cares? I'm enjoying this! COACH You sicko! The man also known as PIMPHEMOTH~! grabs the bleeding PRL and throws him back into the ring. COLE The handsome features of Tha Puerto Rican now being rearranged by Bohemoth! COACH Somebody's gotta stop this, Cole! STOP IT! COLE And Bohemoth is right back in control! Not wise to try and stand and strike with The Metrosexual Monster, especially when you're giving up 50-odd pounds in weight. With PRL staggering aimlessly to his feet, his face now COMPLETELY covered in blood, Bo watches him onto the ropes. And as PRL lounges against those ropes to try and get his head together, Bohemoth almost takes it off with a clothesline! PRL goes tumbling over the top, the apron bumping him into the door of the cell just to compound his misery. COLE PRL didn't manage to put Bohemoth away when he had the chance. That may have been his one and only chance! As Tha Puerto Rican pulls himself up on the outside Bohemoth follows. Retrieving the steel chair used on him just moments ago, Bo realizes how dented it is and throws it aside. Instead he goes further across the outside, picking up the disassembled top half of the steel steps. The crowd buzz as PRL slowly turns around, seeing Bohemoth with the steps in hands and his eyes bulge. Bo holds the steps at waist height, with the actual steps towards him. As he drives forward, that then traps PRL against the back of the steps and causes him to be 'ploughed'... *CRASH!* ...INTO AND ALMOST THROUGH ONE PANEL OF THE CELL!! COLE Holy Cow! They almost broke the Cell! COACH Nevermind that, they almost broke PRL! A couple of the fixtures pinning the Cell wall in place seem to actually fly off, a couple lying at PRL's feet as he falls against the dented Cell. Bo gets rid of the steps now and with PRL right near the corner of the Cell, he sets him up... and GRINDS the flat of his boot across his face! And again! A third time! COLE Watch out! Taking a full run-up from the opposite side of the ring, as far as the confines of the Cell will allow him, Bo then charges for a fourth and final time AND KICKS PRL'S FACE INTO THE CELL!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE FACEWASH!! As Bo's boot mows through PRL's face it again hits that side of the cage. Blood is now on the sole of Bohemoth's boot. A clear dent has been put in the steel mesh now and as he sees it, Bohemoth quickly drags Tha Puerto Rican away and to his feet. PRL is on wobbly legs as Bohemoth drags him across ringside. But he still has enough where-with-all to get a RAKE OF THE EYES in, stopping The Metrosexual Monster in his tracks. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" With Bohemoth blinded, the desperate Puerto Rican quickly follows up with a BACKRAKE!! COACH That's it, fight PR, fight! COLE He's fighting like a girl. COACH But he's fighting, that's the main thing! Besides, what's wrong with fighting like a girl? Lindsay is a girl and she's tough as hell! COLE But PRL is a man. PRL checks his face for any lost facial features, as Bohemoth starts to growl. Which alerts PRL that he might be in trouble, so he lands a quick kick to the gut to keep Bo quiet. Another kick finds the mark before The Man With The Golden Contract glances over his shoulder, to the side of the steel he'd just come from. And with a quick grab of the wrist, he looks to Irish whip Bohemoth in... ...REVERSED... *CRAAASH!* "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" ...AND PRL CANNONS INTO THE WALL WITH SUCH FORCE THAT HE ENDS UP EMBEDDED IN IT!!!! COACH COLE Oh, MY! With the top half of PRL's body hanging out of the hole created in the Cell and his legs flailing pathetically inside, the broken links of the steel dig into his side, trapped like a small animal in those plastic rings that hold together six-packs. As he screams in pain and flails around though, he somehow manages to escape the 'net', crawling through the gap at the very edge of the Cell and out to the arena floor. COLE Wait a minute... PRL is out of the Cell! COACH Oh, thank God! Obviously the Cell is irreparable, stop the match while we get it fixed, we'll try again in a month or two maybe. Not to be though. As PRL nurses his ribs, Bohemoth marches over to the broken Cell. Referee Charles Robinson tries to tell Bohemoth to keep inside the Cell as the rules would dictate. But, seriously, it wouldn't be Hell In A Cell if the match didn't go OUT of the Cell, would it? So Bohemoth kicks at the bottom corner of the Cell panel, just below where the hole has been created. He manages to open up the hole a little more. And although it's still a tight, skin scratching squeeze, Bohemoth manages to try and slink through the gap! Freaking out, PRL sees he hasn't really escaped and starts to try and run away. COACH Why the hell is the match still going? COLE *shrugs* PRL isn't getting very far very quickly, Bohemoth stalking after him like something out of a horror movie. With a couple of small puncture wounds around his kidney area, PRL doesn't seem to be moving to the best of his capabilites. And realising running isn't working, he takes the most desperate of all desperate measures in Hell In A Cell. He starts to scale the cage! "YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Oh no, PRL what are you DOING!? COLE Well, like it or not, as little as this has to do with the rules of Hell In A Cell, this is what people pay their money to see out of Hell In A Cell. This could get very ugly here. COACH No kidding! As PRL begins his climb, Bo stops. He looks up at the Cell. Not fancying his climbing skills that much he tries to stop PRL by shaking the cage. But as PRL transitions to the panel above the one Bo's shaking, that doesn't seem to work too well. Tha Puerto Rican's feet are out of reach now and Bo is left with no choice but to climb after his opponent. "YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh boy. Tha Puerto Rican makes the cardinal mistake of looking down and seeing Bo closing in on him, he panics again. Bohemoth reaches up and pulls himself up onto the thicker part of the cage, able to stand on the steel support which is much safer than the mesh surrounding it. Meanwhile, PRL has almost reached the top of the Cell. But by now he's freaking out about how high up he is and he certainly doesn't want to be standing on TOP of the cell! So, he tries to change direction, carefully making his way over to the corner of the Cell. "DIE P - R, DIE!" "DIE P - R, DIE!" "DIE P - R, DIE!" "DIE P - R, DIE!" COLE Well, PRL's not very popular, but I don't think we REALLY want to go so far as to see that! COACH Of course now! How can these people even chant that!? As he begins to make his way around the corner of the Cell, PRL finds himself on the same steel support as Bohemoth. Actually cutting the corner to the adjacent side of the cage doesn't prove as easy as PRL expected. And as he tries to shuffle his feet around, Bohemoth manages to club him in the back! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Oh God! Left standing on one foot only, PRL begins to wobble. He looks over his shoulder, fear-stricken. Another shot his him in the back! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" This time Tha Puerto Rican's chest bounces off the corner of the Cell. And that's solid steel, leaving him even more precarious than he was before. COLE This is not going to end well! Bohemoth slowly steps across, getting close enough to PRL to grab him behind the head. Again PRL's eyes bug out, as Bo pulls his head back... ...AND SLAMS IT INTO THE STEEL BAR!! COACH OH NO... PRL almost falls, but his fingers are still just about laced around the steel mesh. Until Bohemoth carefully turns side on, reaching out... ...PUSHING PRL... *THUD!!* "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" ...AND HE FALLS FROM HALFWAY UP THE CELL, COMPLETELY TAKING OUT THE CORNER SECTION OF THE BARRICADE ON HIS WAY DOWN!!!!!!! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" The announcers are silent. A solitary airhorn goes off in the background. PRL lays on the thick, curved corner section of the barricade. Blood is still flowing down his face. His arms and legs are splayed out and security guards have converged around him to keep the fans at bay. From high above halfway up the Cell, Bohemoth looks down on what just happens. Cool and calm as ever. Barely a flicker of emotion. COLE My... my God. PRL just fell what had to be 10 feet and he just SNAPPED that section of the barricade completely off it's... I mean, that's solid steel Coach!! There some padding for aesthetics, but that's got to be 5 inch thick metal underneath!! And PRL just fell right onto it!! COACH (sombre) Okay... all bias aside, can we stop the damn match already. PRL still hasn't moved as Bohemoth begins to make his way down from the side of the cell. Referee Charles Robinson has left the Cell now to get out and check on Tha Puerto Rican. "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" The crowd chant for The Metrosexual Monster, all but ignoring PRL. Still lying on top of the block of the barricade, PRL looks to be completely motionless and surely unable to continue. Bohemoth lands on solid ground now and takes a moment to sort his own aching body parts out. All of which paling in comparison to PRL's situation. COLE Well, I don't know if PRL's going to be able to carry on here. He could be seriously, seriously injured. COACH It has to be over. It has to be. COLE There was absolutely no give to that barricade. Nothing but steel and PRL not only fell against it, from a... a tremendous height. But, he also landed on it. The only, ONLY thing that broke Tha Puerto Rican's fall was that steel barricade! Bohemoth walks on over and picks PRL up! COACH THIS MATCH IS STILL GOING ON!? COLE Apparently so, Coach! Bo grabs Tha Puerto Rican's head with both hands, and then simply flings PR right into the announce table! COLE Whoa! Cole and Coach stand up and get out of the way! PRL rolls off the announce table into the sofas! P.R. gets on his knees, having no idea where he is. His hair is now red and black. Puerto rolls back onto the announce table trembling in fear. He finally stands up, but when he does, Bohemoth grabs him and lifts him up into a Gorilla Press Slam position! Bo holds P.R. up in the air for a few seconds, and then throws him THROUGH the announce table! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" P.R. now lies in the wreckage of the announce table with the crowd cheering! Bohemoth takes a minute to rest. PRL starts crawling around the wreckage, speaking incoherently. Blood now covers PRL's entire face! Seriously, there isn't anything but red on his face all the way to his ears! Coach yells for somebody to stop the match, but obviously no one is going to listen to him. Bohemoth picks Tha Puerto Rican up. "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" Bo drags Tha Puerto Rican around ringside back inside the Cell. As he does this, the Starbucks Double Shot Instant Replay shows the shot of PRL falling through the barricade from three different angles. Ted DiBiase and Terry Funk come out to make sure PRL and Bohemoth go back into the Cell. Once they're inside the Cell, the door is padlocked *twice*. Bohemoth throws PRL back into the ring, and this time the crowd explodes. COLE PRL's walking back into Purgatory! PRL's gonna walk through Hell, maybe for the last time! The camera does a close-up of PRL's very bloodied face. PRL is still spitting out blood. His eyes are also glazed over. Blood drips onto the mat. Bohemoth slowly walks back into the ring. THA PUERTO RICAN I...I don't...I don't deserve this! I don't deserve this! I...don't...deserve...this! The camera shows Charles Robinson and Ted DiBiase finishing locking the Cell door. The camera cuts to the ring where Bohemoth gives PRL a MURDERLINE~! COLE LARIA-TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Bohemoth watches as PRL lies on the mat, struggling to get up. He starts moving his arms and barely sits up. THA PUERTO RICAN Okay...okay. I deserve this! I deserve this! I deserve all of this! COLE I don't think it is a matter of 'if' but 'when' now! We are seeing the end of "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican's career right before our very eyes! COACH You're right! You're not *maybe* right! YOU ARE RIGHT! This is it! This is the end! We are witnessing the disinegration of Tha Puerto Rican's career tonight at School's Out! Cut to the party backstage where everyone is gathered around the TV smiling brightly. COLE There are plenty of people who are enjoying this moment right now! Finally, after four years, tonight is *their* night! COACH Oh God! Everything you're saying is true! I HATE THAT! Bohemoth picks Tha Puerto Rican up. PRL's mouth is wide open. Bo whips "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican into the ropes. SPINEEEEEEEEEEEEEBUSSSSTTTTTTTTTTAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~! COLE Spinebuster! Bohemoth with his signature Spinebuster, and Tha Puerto Rican's head bounced off the mat! COACH Oh My God, he's dead! PRL lies down on the mat. Bohemoth takes a little longer than usual to get up. But when he does, he exits the ring. PRL sits up, and bleeds some more blood onto the mat! COLE This is PRL and Bohemoth's first Hell In A Cell, and I'm damn sure neither one will EVER forget this experience! COACH This IS Hell! COLE And Bohemoth, and what is he doing? Going to the outside. Bohemoth looks underneath the ring apron for something. He comes out with...another steel chair! COLE Oh no. Oh no. Bohemoth has a chair. Bohemoth now has his own chair. COACH Hasn't PR suffered ENOUGH!? The crowd cheers loudly as Bohemoth walks up the ring steps with the steel chair in his right hand. COLE We may see some poetic justice! COACH JUSTICE!? THERE IS NO JUSTICE HERE! The camera cuts to the party backstage where everyone is on the edge of their seats. Bohemoth enters the ring. Charles Robinson tries to warn him not to use the chair, but Bo isn't paying attention at all, instead staring at Tha Puerto Rican. P.R. is using the ring ropes to pull himself up. COACH GET OUT OF THE WAY, P.R.! GET OUT OF THE WAY! PRL's face, hair, neck and chest are covered in blood. He uses the first and second ring ropes to get to his right knee. He then uses the top ring rope to pull himself to a vertical base. Bohemoth just stands there watching. COLE Will Bohemoth strike? Will he get some payback for all those chairshots over the past two months? PRL's legs are wobbly, but he is up. COACH LOOK OUT! PRL turns around... *WHAM!* AND BOHEMOTH SLAMS THE STEEL CHAIR OVER THE TOP OF THA PUERTO RICAN'S HEAD~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 The impact of the chairshot is so powerful that the steel chair is now hanging around PRL's neck! COLE JESUS! COACH HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! The crowd EXPLODES with cheers! PRL falls to the mat, unconscious! COLE PAYBACK'S ARE A BITCH! COACH Michael! The people backstage are celebrating! Bohemoth fires the crowd up some more! He lets out a mighty yell and then shakes the top ring rope. THUMBS UP... THUMBS DOWN~! "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE It's over! It's all over! Bohemoth is going to win the Golden Contract! COACH And Tha Puerto Rican's career is finished! COLE This is what the fans wanted to see! And now they're going to get it! It's all over! The crowd is whipped into a frenzy! Bohemoth picks "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican up. He removes the steel chair from around his neck and tosses it out of the ring. Bohemoth then hooks Tha Puerto Rican up, causing the crowd to cheer. COLE He's going for The Erotic Awakening Of B! The crowd is at a fever pitch when Bohemoth lifts Tha Puerto Rican up--- SUDDENLY THE LIGHTS GO OUT!!!!!!! COLE What!? What the? COACH AAH! Mikey, I'm scared! COLE Pipe down, Coach! The crowd is as confused as the announcers as to why the lights have suddenly gone out. There is total darkness for seconds on end which seem like hours to the people in the arena. COLE The lights went out. Either someone forgot to pay the electrical bill, or something fishy is going on in the ring! COACH I select B for $400, Michael. The crowd only sees black in front of them for a few seconds more, before the lights go back on in the arena to reveal Bohemoth getting beat up by... CABOOSE!?!?!?!?!? COLE WHAT!? COACH YO~! COLE Caboose--what--what the---WHAT THE HELL!? COACH I'm liking this! Caboose keeps punching Bohemoth, almost knocking the big man down! The crowd is stunned at what they are seeing as the fan favorite continues punching the other fan favorite while PRL remains knocked out on the mat. Caboose punches Bohemoth. He then punches him a second time. Then he does the SHANE-O-MAC SHUFFLE, and punches Bohemoth for the third time, and it now becomes clear to the audience what's going on. COLE Hey! Wait a minute! "Caboose" punches Bohemoth, bringing him down to his right knee. He then takes off his hair, to reveal that it's a wig, to reveal that it's really VITAMIN X underneath the face paint! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Oh come on! Vitamin X is back! COACH YES! The X-Man is back in the OAOAST! COLE We haven't seen him since OAOAST Syndicated last month! And frankly, I was starting to get used to him not being here! COACH I wasn't! We needed our Prince back! Prince Vitamin takes a royal bow for the fans. They boo. He laughs manically, thinking he has Bohemoth right where he wants him. UNTIL Bohemoth charges at him with a MURDERLINE~! COLE YES! GET HIM! GET HIM! GET HIM! Bohemoth stomps the crap out of Vitamin X! X immediately begs for mercy, but no mercy is the theme of the night! Bohemoth picks X up and whips him into the ropes. He then follows that up with a BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK Body Drop, that sends Vitamin X's feet hitting the roof of the Cell! COACH WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! The crowd is going wild again! Bohemoth screams for Vitamin X to fight some more. X holds his back in pain. While he does this, Cuban Wall enters the ring! COLE The 24/7 Champion is here! Mr. Boricua enters the ring soon after! And so does The Bone Thug! Together, the two Lightning Crew members beat on Bohemoth in the ropes to boos! And PRL is STILL knocked out! COLE And The Lightning Crew doing what they do best! And that's dominate using 2-on-1 or more tactics! COACH This is what made The Lightning Crew the most feared stable in wrestling! "BO-HE-MOTH!" "BO-HE-MOTH!" Mr. Boricua, Cuban Wall and The Bone Thug continue beating on Bohemoth...until Bohemoth finds the strength within to push Bone Thug off of him, and beat on Mr. Boricua and Wall! Bohemoth head butts The Bone Thug, knocking him down! Bo knocks Wall a little off his feet with a punch! He then starts punching Mr. Boricua in the face again and again and again! Boricua is dazed and confused, but he doesn't fall! Bo hooks Mr. Boricua up! COLE Can he hit it? Vitamin X hits Bohemoth in the back with the cricket bat! Bohemoth lets go of Mr. Boricua! VX hits Bohemoth in the back with the cricket bat again! COLE That damn Vitamin X! He's using that cricket bat as a weapon! COACH Oh like when Caboose did it a thousand times it was a good thing! VX nails Bo with the cricket bat one more time! Cuban Wall starts beating on Bohemoth again. Mr. Boricua and The Bone Thug join in. COLE We've got a 4-on-1 beatdown going on now! Damnit! Damnit! The booing continues! Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, Vitamin X, and The Bone Thug team up on Bohemoth, bringing him down to the mat! PRL is still knocked out. Wall and Boricua clutch Bohemoth's throat! COLE Oh no! Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall lift Bohemoth off the mat! And then slam him down! COLE A double chokeslam! A double chokeslam! Bohemoth is down! And the leader of The Lightning Crew is STILL down! Vitamin X and Cuban Wall pose. Mr. Boricua grunts, snorts, yells, and cracks his knuckles. The Bone Thug yells out, "ARRIBA LA RAZA~!" COLE The Lightning Crew has attacked once again! Bohemoth is out cold! COACH Yes! Excellent work by The Lightning Crew! Great teamwork gentlemen! Vitamin X tells The Lightning Crew to pick Bohemoth up. Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua do so, sitting Bohemoth down on the mat. COLE Now what? VX grabs the cricket bat and points it at Bo. COACH Uh-oh! Bohemoth is in trouble now! HA HA HA HA HA! COLE Oh no. This isn't going to end well. This will not end well! Vitamin X takes a few practice swings, and then gets into position. He rushes forward... AND CRACKS THE CRICKET BAT ACROSS BOHEMOTH'S HEAD~!!!!! COLE Oh my! The cricket bat has been broken in half! COACH I am loving this! I am SO loving this! COLE Bohemoth has been attacked! And now, he is busted open too! Indeed, Bohemoth has a cut on his forehead. Blood starts coming down his face. Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall drop Bohemoth to the mat. Cuban Wall then adds insult to injury by bouncing off the ropes, jumping up, and coming down with The Lightning Crew Splash on Bohemoth! COACH THAT'S for breaking PRL's teeth earlier! COLE Bohemoth has been assaulted by The Lightning Crew! COACH Just another victim in the long LONG LONG list of them! NOBODY CAN STOP THEM! NOT EVEN BOHEMOTH! Cuban Wall gets up and taunts Bohemoth. He grins evilly. The crowd is beyond PISSED right now. Vitamin X laughs at what has happened. Mr. Boricua grunts. The Bone Thug just stares at Bohemoth. Bohemoth is lying flat on his back on the mat with blood pouring down his face. PRL is also still knocked out. COLE The Lightning Crew has struck again! They have demolished Bohemoth! COACH Yes! That's what The Lightning Crew is all about! Surprising people! They've done it again tonight! That's why I love those guys so much! Wall, Boricua, Bone Thug, and Prince Vitamin leave the ring. Cuban Wall tells Charles Robinson, "It's all yours!" Vitamin X and The Bone Thug leave through the hole in the Cell. Meanwhile, Mr. Boricua rips the Cell door off its hinges and throws it aside, so that Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua can leave the Cell that way. COLE This is shocking! COACH This is The Lightning Crew at their best! Vitamin X, Mr. Boricua, Cuban Wall, and The Bone Thug walk back to the entrance. VX raises the two pieces of the cricket bat over his head to boos. He laughs manically. COLE Vitamin X disguised himself as Caboose! He appeared when the lights went out somehow, and attacked Bohemoth! And then the rest of The Lightning Crew came out and did their usual crap! I don't believe it! And listen to this response! COACH And we've STILL got a match, Cole! COLE That's right! The match is still going on, but both men are busted open and out! So what's going to happen now? PRL gets out of the puddle of his own blood and crawls on over to where Bohemoth is lying. COACH Look! Look! Look! COLE That little weasel! The booing gets louder the closer PRL gets to Bohemoth. Eventually, PR summons the strength to put his left arm over Bohemoth's chest. COLE He should be dead by now! Instead he's doing this! COACH This ain't P.R.'s Last Stand! This is Bohemoth's Last Stand! PRL has Bohemoth covered. COLE I bet he has no idea what just happened! COACH Who cares! Here and now is what matters! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican is lying on his stomach, breathing heavily, still bleeding from head to toe. The only way he can say he is covering Bohemoth is because he has his left arm over Bohemoth's chest. Bohemoth also is bleeding and is knocked out. At this, referee Charles Robinson begins his count. 1... COACH There's 1! 2... COACH 2! 2 1/2 COLE Stop this! Oh no! Come on! Come on! No! 2.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 COLE Not this way! No! No! No! No! NO! 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (35:15) COACH YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! COLE .......... CROWD ............. EVERYONE BACKSTAGE AT THE PARTY ...................................................................... "Know Your Role '99" starts playing. P.R. is still covering Bohemoth. The crowd is shocked at first, but their shock turns to boos rather quickly. BUFFER Here is your winner...and STILL The Man With The Golden Contract..."The Corporate Champion" THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! A puddle of blood now forms on the spot where PRL's head lies on the mat. COACH He did it! He finally did it! He proved you wrong! He proved ALL OF YOU wrong! Tha Puerto Rican WILL NOT DIE! The camera cuts to the party backstage where everyone is sitting in stunned silence. "Shooter" Jay Darring and Lauren Gellar are crushed. The Mad Cappa can't believe it. K-NESS is freaking out. D*LUX just shake their heads in disappointment. Colombian Heat says, "That is whack!" Spanish Fly is pissed. John "Rock Hard" Brickston is trying to hold back his rage. Otaku II and Ayane Mitsui both let out a deep sigh. COLE The disappointment is obvious on everyone's faces! We all thought we would see the final match in Tha Puerto Rican's career tonight-- COACH Not me! COLE --But instead, Tha Puerto Rican, somehow, someway survived, and he is STILL The Man With The Golden Contract! COACH Doesn't this prove once and for all that Tha Puerto Rican is the greatest wrestler in the OAOAST today? COLE I dunno. He did need some help. COACH *Some* help. This is true. But HE is the one who got the pinfall! And that's all that counts! Cuban Wall, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, and Stephen Joseph Popick enter the Cell. Popick is the first one to greet Tha Puerto Rican, pulling him off of Bohemoth. POPICK P.R.! P.R.! Speak to me! THA PUERTO RICAN Am...I...dead? POPICK No, you survived! THA PUERTO RICAN ...Hoo...ray. Popick pulls PRL up to his feet which is when Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez wraps her arms around him. She kisses his blood soaked face, not caring at all that she's now got blood on her pouty lips. She keeps kissing him until Cuban Wall interrupts and gives PR a high five, telling him, "You did good, boss." PRL is barely conscious. He just nods his head weakly and mumbles incoherently. Popick and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez carry PRL out of the ring as "Know Your Role '99" continues playing. COLE I'm in shock. I don't believe it. Tha Puerto Rican is a bloodied mess! And yet HE is the winner! COACH That means he survived, Cole! That means HE is the MAN! That means that he went to HELL and back! COLE He's being dragged out of the ring! And yet, this man is the holder of the Golden Contract, which means he can cash in on an OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship shot whenever he wants anytime he wants! COACH I know! Isn't life grand right about now? PRL is on top of the world! COLE He sure doesn't look like it. COACH Please don't rain on my parade. Let me enjoy this moment, bitch. Cuban Wall holds the ropes so that PRL, Popick, and Lindsay can leave the ring. Wall then hands PR the black spray-painted briefcase with *his* Golden Contract still inside. PRL clutches the briefcase close to his heart as he leaves the Cell. Bohemoth is still knocked out. COLE PRL needed help from FOUR men, but in the end, the record books will say that Tha Puerto Rican, on May 27, 2007 at School's Out, DEFEATED Bohemoth. How about that? Stephen Joseph Popick raises Tha Puerto Rican's right hand in victory. PRL holds his black spray-painted briefcase containing his Golden Contract inside with his left hand. Popick laughs manically and screams "YES! YES! YES!" while Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez says, "It's okay baby. It's okay! You're going to be all right baby! You're going to be all right!" Cuban Wall taunts some fans at ringside. PRL is completely out of it. Garbage is thrown at PRL. COLE He doesn't know where he is! His body is covered in blood! We cut back to the backstage party where everyone is pissed off beyond belief. COLE We thought tonight, PR would get his. But believe it or not, he will live to fight another day. COACH And that's the important thing. He SURVIVED! PRL is a SURVIVOR! HE SURVIVED THE ONSLAUGHT OF A MONSTER! He deserves all the credit in the world for that! COLE He deserves credit for having 8 people watching his back. But he doesn't really deserve credit for winning tonight. The Cell is now being raised back to the roof of the arena. The crowd boos loudly as PRL, Popick, Lindsay, and Wall walk back up the entrance. They are joined by Vitamin X, Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug, Thomas Rodriguez, and Princess Stacey. The Lightning Crew and Popick engage in a group hug at the entrance. COACH What a great night! Tha Puerto Rican has defeated Bohemoth, and Vitamin X has returned! The Lightning Crew is back in full force, baby! COLE The Lightning Crew certainly made their mark tonight! And now, PRL can still say that he has a guaranteed World Title shot at his disposal! COACH How sweet it is! Soda is thrown at PRL's head, barely missing by an inch. Puerto Rican hugs Lindsay, then Popick, then Vitamin X. Popick and Lindsay help PRL raise the black spray-painted briefcase over his head one more time. The crowd boos. COACH That's the money shot right there! There's your proof that PRL is the best thing going in the OAOAST today! THAT'S what I'm talking about! Popick laughs manically. He taunts a fan who threw garbage at him. PRL sneers at the crowd. Lindsay has an evil grin on her face. The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick exit through the curtains. COLE Who would have ever thought we would see *this* image tonight? COACH I did. Well, without the blood. COLE Let's go back to moments ago. The OAOAST School's Out logo 2007 flashes across the screen. Cut to the ending of the match starting with Bohemoth about to give PRL the Erotic Awakening Of B. COLE Bohemoth had the match won. He was about to do the Erotic Awakening Of B, when the lights went out, and seconds later, Caboose arrived. Or not. Instead, it was Vitamin X making his return, dressed as Caboose. The Lightning Crew then came out and attacked. Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug. They had Bohemoth cornered, but Bohemoth struck back...until Vitamin X used Caboose's cricket bat to knock out Bohemoth! One shot to the head later, and Bohemoth was busted open. Then Cuban Wall added The Lightning Crew Splash just to add insult to injury. PRL snuck in for the victory, and now he can say that he has defeated Bohemoth! The OAOAST School's Out 2007 logo flashes across the screen. Bohemoth is STILL not getting up. His face is now a crimson mask. Bo moves his arms, but then goes back to being limp. COLE We're back live, and Bohemoth has STILL not gotten up! COACH He got hit with a freaking cricket bat to the head, Cole! That should have knocked him out! COLE It did knock him out! But now he is moving a little. Bohemoth rolls to his side. COACH Awww, the big baby lost. HA HA! COLE Bohemoth had the match won and you know it! COACH But who won it? Tha Puerto Rican! So stop with the 'what ifs', Cole! COLE I can't believe it. Bohemoth has lost to Tha Puerto Rican! He is bleeding. He might have a concussion. This was supposed to be the greatest night of his life, and it's turned to this. COACH This was the greatest night of his life! Now, one day, he can tell his grandkids about the time Tha Puerto Rican laid the smackdown on his candy ass! COLE This was supposed to be the night that Tha Puerto Rican got his...but instead he got one over on us! Bohemoth sits up. He looks completely out of it too. The lights are on, but nobody's home. He starts to get up as "Know Your Role '99" has to be restarted over the PA system. However, he falls back down to the mat. Bo tries to get up again, but this time he can't even sit up. The last image we see is of Bohemoth lying flat on his back, bloodied, his eyes glazed over. The Cell has been lifted to the top of the Toyota Center.

The Cell is close to the ground when we return to live action. COLE And there you have it. That is what has led us to today. Tha Puerto Rican, for the first time in his career, will step into the dangerous Hell In A Cell against the 6'7" 284 pound Bohemoth. And fans, I don't think this will be for the weak of heart. COACH I can't believe that this match is happening! Oh God. I'm gonna say a silent prayer for Tha Puerto Rican if you don't mind. COLE Go ahead. In fact, stay silent as long as you want. I don't mind! COACH You little... COLE Fans, the only other person that'll be in the Cell is the referee, Charles Robinson. But other than that, PRL and Bohemoth will be all alone. No Lightning Crew member will be able to help Tha Puerto Rican tonight, just as Bo wanted! This might just be the biggest challenge Tha Puerto Rican has ever faced and I think it's safe to say that he is the underdog in this match-up. COACH That just gives him more ammunition to beat Bohemoth and PROVE YOU WRONG! COLE Weren't you saying a silent prayer? COACH I was taking a break. Here I go again. What up G? It's your greatest creation Coach here! I just want to ask if you could watch my main homie PRL tonight in his match against the demon -- ya know, Bohemoth. COLE Coach, a silent prayer is supposed to be SILENT. COACH Okay! (Mumbling) COLE Ugh. Anyway fans, this is it. It's about to begin. The first half of the double main event of School's Out: Tha Puerto Rican vs. Bohemoth. Hell In A Cell! The Golden Contract is on the line! Is this PR's Last Stand? We are about to find out. Let's go to the ring! The Hell In A Cell is on the ground. *DING DING DING* The lights go down in the arena. A Puerto Rican flag appears on the AngleTron. This causes the crowd to pop. In big white blocky letters, the following words appear on screen, with Tha Puerto Rican saying them: *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role '99" begins playing over the P.A. system. The crowd stands up, greatly anticipating PRL's entrance. PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" throughout the song, while smoke fills the entryway and strobe lights appear on the entrance set. A few seconds elapsed, and out from the curtains and through the smoke comes "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican. The boos get louder. P.R. looks at the crowd with disgust etched on his face. He's wearing his HBK-like entrance attire of blue cowboy chaps and a blue vest in addition to his usual sunglasses and earring on his left ear. He's also carrying his black briefcase that has the Golden Contract inside which has "L.C." spray-painted on the front in yellow. Puerto Rican raises the briefcase over his head to boos. COLE And there he is. And he's holding the Golden Contract...possibly for the last time. This just might be the last time we will ever see Tha Puerto Rican, at least walking on his own two feet. There might not be anything left of him after this match-up! With a sneer on his face, PRL continues raising the black spray-painted briefcase over his head as Stephen Joseph Popick comes out, wearing a black PRL T-shirt, a leather jacket, a $500 Rolex watch on his left wrist, black jeans, and black boots. And his glasses, can't forget that. Popick raises his hands to jeers from the crowd but an evil smile on his face. Popick talks to PRL while the OAOAST Women's Champion, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, comes out. She is carrying the OAOAST Women's Championship belt over her left shoulder, and is wearing a black tube-top with "LC" spray-painted onto it in purple, a gold necklace, diamond earrings, gold bracelets, black finger-less gloves with a drawings of bones on them for some reason, a belt with a skull and crossbones belt buckle, tight black jeans with purple pinstripes, and black heel boots. And her hair now has pink highlights. Lindsay outstretches her arms and garners a mix of boos and cheers which she responds with a cocky smirk. COACH *Drool* COLE Coach, stop drooling! COACH Dude, just LOOK at her! PRL gives his wife-to-be a kiss on the lips, and then motions for someone else to come out. After a few seconds of waiting, Cuban Wall, the Muscle of The Lightning Crew, comes out to LOUD boos. Wall, the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt resting on his right shoulder, walks with his eyes focused right on the ring. He raises his right fist in the air, and then high-fives PRL. PRL then high fives Lindsay and Popick. COLE Well, he's got 3 people with him, but they're not going to do any good. They're not going to be allowed in the Cell! COACH They're just there for moral support. This IS PRL's biggest match to date you know! COLE For once you may be right. COACH Plus, well...this maybe the last time PRL will see any of his friends or his fiancee ever again. I can't believe I just said that. COLE You may be right about that too, Coach. PR looks at Popick, then at Lindsay, then at Wall, and together, the four of them begin their walk to the ring as "Know Your Role '99" continues playing. BUFFER The following contest is the Hell In A Cell Match scheduled for one fall and it is for the Golden Contract. Introducing first. Coming to the ring at this time. Accompanied to the ring by his manager and "Career Consultant" Stephen Joseph Popick, his fiancee, the One And Only AngleSault Thread Women's Champion Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, AND the Muscle of The Lightning Crew, the One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion Cuban Wall. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 220 lbs. He is a former OAOAST North American Champion. A former HI-YAH World Tag Team Champion. A former OAOAST X-Division Champion. A 3-time OAOAST Puerto Rican/Italian/Puerto Rican Champion. AND the longest reigning 24/7 Champion in One And Only AngleSault Thread history. He is the leader of The Lightning Crew. The Man With The Golden Contract. He is "The Corporate Champion" THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Popick puts his left arm around PRL's shoulders and taunts the camera while they continue their walk to the ring. COLE We've got a dead man walking! COACH Oh hush up! COLE Seriously, Michael Buffer listed all of PRL's accomplishments, and yes it's true. Tha Puerto Rican has beaten alot of men and won quite a few titles in his four year career in the OAOAST. But he has also hurt, betrayed, lied to, manipulated, and just been a general ASS to most of the OAOAST roster during his time here! So, to the OAOAST fans, and possibly most of the roster, this is a match that is a long time coming! Infact, I know for a fact that there's a large group of OAOAST wrestlers assembled backstage watching on a monitor, all of whom hoping to see the demise of Tha Puerto Rican live in Houston. COACH You people. You sick people. You WANT Bohemoth to hurt Tha Puerto Rican. You WANT him to destroy poor PR, end his career. How do you sleep at night? PRL does NOT DESERVE THIS! COLE That's one man's opinion. COACH It's the right opinion. COLE There's no such thing as a 'right' opinion. That's why it's called an opinion and not fact! COACH Yes there is. Here's another opinion: Michael Cole is a gay fruitcake. Can you deny that? COLE Oh will you stop? Soda and garbage is thrown in PRL's direction as he gets closer and closer to the Cell. PRL looks at the camera and mouths, "I'm the man." Popick mouths, "You want the best? You got it!" COLE PRL looking cocky and confident as ever. I wonder if he's just playing for the cameras? COACH Nonsense. PRL is ready to go. He might have been scared before, but he knows what he's getting himself into. He's ready. Bohemoth just better BRING IT! COLE He seemed to be frightened beyond belief earlier tonight. COACH THAT was just for the cameras. What if Bohemoth was watching? PR's not afraid of any man! Not even Bohemoth! Watch! COLE Amazing how you can change your opinion at a moment's notice! COACH Pot. Kettle. Me. Tha Puerto Rican walks close to the Cell...and then without missing a beat, turns right around and walks back to the entrance! COLE Wait...where is he going? COACH It's all part of the plan. Don't you see? Wall, Lindsay, and Popick just watch as PRL walks back to the entrance, shaking his head leaving the crowd confused. His theme music continues playing as PRL walks through the curtains. COLE Did he just forfeit? COACH Uh...I guess? COLE He DOES realize that if he forfeits, then Bohemoth gets the Golden Contract right? COACH He does? OH CRAP! PRL COME BACK OUT! COME BACK OUT! The camera focuses on the entrance for a few seconds...until finally, PRL comes right back out...along with OAOAST Road Agents Terry Funk, "Macho Man" Randy Savage, Mike Rotundo, Ted DiBiase, and Dean Malenko! COLE It looks like PRL has been FORCED back out here! COACH They're forcing him against his will! There's a conspiracy against Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Pipe down Coach! The OAOAST Road Agents order for PRL to enter the Cell. PRL tries to keep his cool, but it's obvious to everyone watching that he's going to break down at any moment. PR nods his head and then turns to his friends and motions that there's nothing he can do. Now, Lindsay, Popick, and Cuban Wall are slightly worried as they watch PRL take a deep breath...and walk through the door, entering the Hell In A Cell. COLE Well, he's finally in. Thank goodness. COACH Oh lord. Oh God. Oh SWEET JESUS! The crowd boos loudly as The Corporate Champ climbs the ring apron and stops on the ring apron. Instead of sneering at the crowd like he usually does, PRL mutters something about the OAOAST Road Agents. PRL has a look of hesitation on his face, but after some more motioning from the OAOAST Road Agents, PRL looks at Lindsay, Wall, and Popick, and then enters the ring. PRL spins around; soaking in the fans' boos. PR continues looking back at the OAOAST Road Agents, muttering to himself. He starts to take off his blue vest, when the pyro explodes right behind him, causing him to jump back a bit! COLE P.R.'s pyro went off without him! Tha Puerto Rican stops to recover and catch is breath as the crowd laughs. He says, "Oh yeah. I forgot." PRL grabs his black spray-painted briefcase and walks over to a second turnbuckle where he raises the briefcase over his head. The crowd boos. PRL heads to another second turnbuckle and raises the black spray-painted briefcase over his head again. The crowd, again, boos. COLE PR's off his game a bit, isn't he? COACH No he's not! He's not! He's ready! Oh boy, is he ready! PRL gets off the second turnbuckle and heads to a third second turnbuckle where he raises his black spray-painted briefcase with his right hand in the air and "smells the electricity" as a spotlight shines on him a la The Rock. PRL gets off the second turnbuckle and heads to the fourth second turnbuckle where he does the same Rock pose while the crowd boos. PRL looks at his crew, who are still standing in the entryway, now even more worried than before. The OAOAST Road Agents are also there. PRL gets off the second turnbuckle and finishes taking off his blue vest and cowboy chaps. COLE Well, he got himself into this. It was his chairshot that led to this match! He asked for all of this, as far as I'm concerned. COACH No he didn't. NOBODY asks for a Hell In A Cell Match! NOBODY. This is the fault of the OAOAST Board of Directors, and when PRL dies because of this match, I hope that Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez sues them for everything they got! COLE Coach, first off, you're admitting that PRL is in big trouble here. And second of all, if Lindsay were to sue the OAOAST Board of Directors for everything they got, you would be out of a job! COACH Well...umm...maybe...I...darnit! COLE Heh. I never get tired of pwning you! COACH I hate you so very much. Tha Puerto Rican removes his sunglasses and earring and hands them over to a ringside attendant. P.R. then looks at his briefcase. After staring at it for a moment, he kisses the briefcase, and then hands it over to referee Charles Robinson, who raises it over his head, and then hands it over to the ringside attendant as the lights go back on in the arena. COLE This is only the second ever meeting between Bohemoth and Tha Puerto Rican. We all know about the melee that ended OAOAST Syndicated last month. And this Hell In A Cell will see to it that it doesn't happen again. COACH Couldn't the OAOAST have thought of a better, *safer* way to have a rematch than *THIS*!? I mean, this match has shortened many careers! COLE It's the best way to settle this feud once and for all! No outside interference, no countouts, no disqualifications. The only way this match ends is by pinfall or submission! So it'll either be the Erotic Awakening Of B or the Corporate Nightmare that could quite possibly finish this match! COACH And finish a career. COLE That too, Coach. The Hell In A Cell has gotten the nickname "The Devil's Playground" for a reason. And we are about to find out why. Tha Puerto Rican is now inside the Cell, and he might be staring into his grim future. Tha Puerto Rican stares at the roof of the Cell. He then does a big cartoonish *Gulp*. He looks at Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, Stephen Joseph Popick, and Cuban Wall, who root him on half-heartedly. Sweat is now dripping off of PRL's nose. Puerto wipes the sweat off of his forehead, but doesn't do anything to stop shaking in his boots. "Know Your Role '99" dies down as Tha Puerto Rican paces back and forth in the ring. "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" PRL yells at the crowd to stop chanting that. P.R. covers his ears to drown out the chant, but it doesn't work! COLE The fans getting on PRL's back already! COACH Would they STOP with that chant already? Bo's not gonna kill ANYBODY tonight! If anybody's doing the killing, it's Tha Puerto Rican! Cole, stop laughing! "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" PRL stands tall in the ring, looking right at the entrance, trying not to think about the chant. He has a serious expression on his face, but it's quite obvious that he's hiding his fear (and failing at doing so quite miserably, by the way). PRL does a cartoonish *Gulp* again. COLE Is he up for the task against "The Metrosexual Monster"? There's a group of people backstage hoping this is the last they'll ever see of Tha Puerto Rican, and I'm sure these fans are hoping for the same result! COACH They're going to be so pissed when PRL proves them wrong! I can't wait! *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" PRL isn't even bothering to pretend anymore! The moment "Liberate" by Disturbed starts playing, he jumps back and a look of pure and utter FEAR appears on his face! COLE I think the reality of the situation has finally set in for Tha Puerto Rican! THA PUERTO RICAN Oh...my...GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD! PRL is looking around the Cell for escape as Bohemoth himself comes out slowly, staring right at Tha Puerto Rican. Bo flexes his muscles IN ANGER~! PRL is standing still in utter fear as Bohemoth stares right at him through his orange-tinted sunglasses. Bohemoth begins his walk to the ring as "Liberate" continues playing. BUFFER And his opponent. From Greenville, South Carolina. Weighing in at 284 lbs. He is a former HI-YAH World Heavyweight Champion and a former One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion. He...is...BOOOOOOOOOOOHEEEEEEMOOOOTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! COLE PRL's gonna be all alone in there like a rat in a trap against HIM! COACH SHUT UP! Don't rub it in! COLE This is Bohemoth's day, ladies and gentlemen! A sold out Toyota Center in Houston, Texas is about to see a match that some say is four years in the making! Bohemoth wants School's Out 2007 to be forever known as the date of PR's Last Stand! COACH SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Bohemoth stops and lowers his sunglasses so that he can get a good look at Tha Puerto Rican, before pushing them back up and continuing his walk to the ring, walking past a worried Popick, Lindsay, and Wall along the way. Bohemoth enters the Cell and then jogs up the ring steps. COLE Bohemoth is in. Tha Puerto Rican is in. Referee Charles Robinson is in. We are just about ready for Hell In A Cell! PRL stands at a turnbuckle corner as he watches Bohemoth remove his orange-tinted sunglasses and throw them away. Bohemoth has now locked eyes with Tha Puerto Rican. PRL looks around frantically for a way to escape. After a quick limbering process, Bohemoth enters the ring. As soon as he does, PRL scuttles out of the ring to find Charles Robinson pad locking the door to the Cell. THA PUERTO RICAN What are you doing? What--what--what are you doing? WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? COACH This is not a good time to be Tha Puerto Rican! COLE No indeed not as the referee for this match locks the Cell cutting off Tha Puerto Rican from his friends and girlfriend! COACH Say goodbye, PRL! This might be the last time they ever see you! PRL Come on! Do you have to lock it? Can't you leave it open? Please? Please? Please? The OAOAST Road Agents stand by to make sure that the Cell door is locked tight. Popick, Lindsay and Cuban Wall shove their way to the door so that they can say goodbye to PRL. The three of them offer last words of encouragement while Bohemoth stands in the ring, waiting for the bell to ring. COLE I think Tha Puerto Rican is having second thoughts now! The OAOAST Road Agents are there to make sure that it is indeed locked. There will be NO interference from The Lightning Crew! There is only one way out, and that's through the door, BUT the referee is the only person who'll have the key to unlock the door! PRL is close to tears now as Popick, Wall, and Lindsay hold onto the steel mesh. They try to calm PR down, but it's not working. THA PUERTO RICAN Lindsay! LINDSAY! POPICK Stay cool, brother! Stay cool! You're gonna win! You're gonna win! LINDSAY Keep calm, baby! I'm here! I'll be here for you when you get beat him! CUBAN WALL We're here in spirit, boss! Don't worry! Go get him! PRL Guys don't go! COME BACK! COME BACK! COME BACK! COLE The Lightning Crew and Popick trying to console Tha Puerto Rican. But I don't think it's working! It's PR in the inside of the Cell, NOT Popick! Tha Puerto Rican 'suddenly realises that he left his TV on stand-by' and realising the damage he could be causing to the environment, he tries to open the Cell door, but it's been pad locked. Still, he doesn't give up, pulling on the door as hard as he can and failing. Bohemoth watches as PRL kisses Lindsay one more time and then climbs the ring steps. COLE And now Tha Puerto Rican, and Tha Puerto Rican ALONE must deal with Bohemoth! COACH Oh my God. This is real. This is real. This is really happening! THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING! OH MY GOD! COLE Well, this won't be pretty. We can tell you that much. Thank God we're on pay-per-view! The OAOAST Road Agents take Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, Stephen Joseph Popick, and Cuban Wall back to the entrance. Lindsay blows PRL a kiss as she walks away. PRL waves goodbye, and then stares at Bohemoth who is in the ring. PRL takes a deep breath, and then enters the ring himself. COLE And here we go. The match the world has been waiting for! COACH I can't watch this. But I must because I am a broadcast journalist and it's my job. COLE Oh, don't make me laugh! "Liberate" by Disturbed dies down. TPR stares at Bohemoth. The crowd is buzzing in anticipation of the bell ringing. PR and Bohemoth stare at each other from opposite sides of the ring. Neither man says a word. COLE I think I have an idea of what's going through PR and Bohemoth's heads right now. COACH Me too. Oh how I am NOT looking forward to this! COLE Well, he brought this on himself! Everything that happens in this match is own fault! COACH No it isn't! Not at all! That's B.S.! COLE No it isn't. COACH Yeah it is. COLE No it isn't. COACH Yes it is. COLE No it isn't. COACH Yes it is. COLE Yes it is. COACH No it isn't. COLE Yes! COACH Damnit! Charles Robinson calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* "P.R.'s Last Stand?" HELL IN A CELL MATCH FOR THE GOLDEN CONTRACT "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN (Holder of The Golden Contract) vs. BOHEMOTH Bohemoth and PRL continue staring at each other. Finally, PRL says something. And keeps talking. And talking. And talking. COLE PRL laying in the trash talking, like usual. COACH He's the master at it! The Corporate Champ tries to psych out The Epitome Of Masculinity, but Bohemoth stands there unfazed. P.R. then rips his white Lightning Crew T-shirt like Hulk Hogan and throws his Puerto Rican flag bandana at Bohemoth! The crowd boos! COLE Who does he think he is? Hulk Hogan? COACH He does the shirt ripping better than Hulk! COLE Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Let's not say things we can't take back! PRL flexes his muscles and shows off his own impressive (but not as impressive as Bohemoth's) physique, and then walks right up to Bohemoth and starts jaw jacking with him. COLE PRL is confronting Bohemoth face-to-face! COACH See? He's not afraid! He's not afraid! COLE This is something we've seen over the past four weeks, but this time, Bohemoth is free to do whatever he wants! COACH And he'll STILL chicken out! PRL waggles his head and raises his voice, but Bohemoth continues staring at him. THA PUERTO RICAN You're a fool! A fool Bohemoth! You're an asswipe, a loser, and I'm going to be SO happy when I destroy you tonight! YOU'RE GOING DOWN BOHEMOTH! YOU'RE...GOING...DOWN! Bohemoth punches PRL in the face! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE He's waited four weeks to do that! Tha Puerto Rican staggers around the ring, already dazed and confused! Bohemoth just watches as PRL stumbles back towards him. THA PUERTO RICAN That didn't hurt. Tha Puerto Rican Flair Flops onto the mat! COLE I guess it did! Bohemoth goes to pick Tha Puerto Rican, but PRL quickly zooms out of the ring! Bo calmly climbs out of the ring and follows PRL around ringside. COLE Now Tha Puerto Rican is trying to run away from Bohemoth! COACH But where is he going to hide? COLE Exactly! There's nowhere to hide in the Hell In A Cell! Tha Puerto Rican pleads with Bohemoth to stay away from him, but Bohemoth just walks slowly towards PRL with anger on his face, like a killer in a slasher flick. PRL jumps over the ring steps and continues running while Bohemoth continues walking slowly, knowing he's got PRL right where he wants him. At one point, PRL bumps into Bohemoth, so he turns around and runs the other way! COACH This is truly Hell In A Cell for Tha Puerto Rican! COLE He won't be hard to find! Tha Puerto Rican slides into the ring. Once he sees Bohemoth sliding into the ring, PRL bounces off the ropes. Bohemoth goes for a clothesline. PRL ducks, bounces off the ropes, and right into a big boot from Bohemoth! COLE This won't be pretty! This will NOT be pretty! COACH Here we go! Oh God! Tha Puerto Rican is kissing the canvas! He tries to get up, but falls back down! Bohemoth helps PRL up by picking him up by his head, and then slamming his head on the top turnbuckle pad! PRL stumbles, but he doesn't fall! Instead, PRL stumbles through the first and second ropes, gasping for air. COLE Tha Puerto Rican got himself into this, let's see if he can get himself out! Bohemoth grabs PRL, and then slams his head on the same top turnbuckle pad as before! This time, PRL FLIES out of the turnbuckle corner and onto the mat! Puerto Rican is already dazed and confused as he rolls around the mat. Bohemoth picks PRL up again by his hair and then slams his head on another top turnbuckle pad! COLE This whole thing started on the April 12th edition of HeldDOWN~!, and it will end tonight at School's Out! COACH Yeah, but the question is: who will be more injured? PRL or Bohemoth? COLE I think the answers obvious. COACH Oh hamburgers! PRL stumbles to the mat, and uses the ropes to pull himself up. Bohemoth grabs Tha Puerto Rican by his right arm and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. Bohemoth goes for a clothesline, but PRL ducks, and hits Bohemoth in the head with a Rock-style punch! He does it a second time! Then a third! And a fourth! And a fifth! And a sixth! COACH Look! He's fighting back! He's fighting back! Yes! COLE He is, surprisingly so! The punches do affect Bohemoth, as he rests on the ring ropes. PRL continues hitting him with Rock-style punches to the temple as the crowd boos. COLE PR's gonna have to fight back! It's the only way he'll survive this match-up! Tha Puerto Rican's Rock punches take Bohemoth to a turnbuckle corner. PR continues laying in his left fists into Bo's face! PRL stands on the second rope, and starts hammering away at Bohemoth's head with rapid fire punches. "1! 2! 3! 4! 5!6!7!8!..." COACH Ha ha! Idiots! They can't count that fast! COLE Coach, it would be impossible to count that fast. COACH Not for me it ain't! PRL grabs Bohemoth's by his left wrist and whips him into the opposite turnbuckle. P.R. charges forward. Stinger Splash! COACH Excellent Stinger Splash from Tha Puerto Rican! PRL is already doing better than he did last month on OAOAST Syndicated! PRL follows up the Stinger Splash with a kick to the abdominal area of Bohemoth! The Corporate Champ then goes back to his Rock punches, weakening the 6'7" former OAOAST 24/7 Champion! Punch! Punch! Punch! NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! PUNCH! COACH Yes! He's doing it! He's really doing it! COLE PRL is in control, hammering away at Bohemoth as this match gets underway! I'm sure he has already surprised the naysayers! COACH He has! And I just KNOW he loves proving them wrong! TPR taunts Bohemoth, and then whips him into the opposite turnbuckle--Bohemoth reverses--PRL does a Flair Flip onto the ring apron! Bohemoth follows that up by clotheslining PRL, knocking him down! COLE And Bohemoth fires back on Tha Puerto Rican! COACH AAAH! Bohemoth stops PRL from falling onto the ground by grabbing his tights. Bo pulls P.R. back into the ring. He then picks Tha Puerto Rican up by his EAR! COACH Ouch! Watch what you're doing there! You could have ripped his ear clean off! COLE Then what would happen? Would he start ripping Mick Foley off? COACH Oh will you stop? Bohemoth says something to PRL while holding him by his left ear like he was a nun at a Catholic school! PRL whines, so Bohemoth slaps his mouth! PRL OW! COLE People have been wanting to do that for years! Bohemoth clotheslines PRL back down to the mat! He then goes for the cover. 1...2...KICK OUT! COLE He kicked out!? COACH Yes. He did! COLE Wow. That legitimately surprised me. COACH Not me! Oh no! Bohemoth doesn't let the fact that PRL kicked out after two minutes of ass kicking stop him. He gets up, and waits for PRL to get up too. Tired of waiting, Bohemoth grabs PRL by his hair and whips him into the ropes. PRL bounces off the ropes, and Bohemoth grabs him in a Cobra Clutch! Bo then gives PRL a backbreaker! COLE Style Injection! Bohemoth just watches as Puerto clutches his back in horrible pain! He picks Tha Puerto Rican up again. COLE I think Bohemoth is going to take Tha Puerto Rican apart limb from limb! COACH He's taking his sweet time because he can! He's in no hurry! He wants to destroy PRL once and for all, so he's inflicting much pain on him as he can! He's ENJOYING this! The sick freak! Bohemoth punches PRL in the face! COLE There's the punch for March 10, 2003! Bohemoth punches PRL again! COLE There's the punch for March 11, 2003! Bohemoth punches PRL a third time! COLE There's the punch for March 12, 2003! COACH What are you doing? COLE Bohemoth said he would punch Tha Puerto Rican for everyday he's been in the OAOAST, so I'm just helping him count along! COACH You're enjoying this too, aren't you? COLE Well-- COACH AREN'T YOU!? COLE Eh...a little. COACH I knew it! You little goatee wearing bitch. Bohemoth punches PRL in the face a fourth time! COLE There's the punch for March 13, 2003! Bo punches PRL again! COLE March 14, 2003! And again! And again! And again! And again! And again! And again! Again! Again! Again! COLE March 15, March 16, March 17, March 18, March 19, March 20, March 21, March 22, 2003! COACH STOP IT! Bohemoth chokes PRL with his right boot! COACH Now come on! I know this is no disqualifications, but this isn't right! Charles Robinson tells Bohemoth to stop with the choking, but he's still doing so, as PRL gasps for breath! After a few more seconds of choking, Bohemoth stops and then gives the ref a dirty look. The crowd has quieted down and is intently watching Bohemoth dominate Tha Puerto Rican. And Bo continues doing so, scooping Tha Puerto Rican up and then slamming back down onto the mat HARD! PRL lets out a girlish scream! Bohemoth bounces off the ropes, charges forward, jumps up, and then jumps down with his right knee hitting PRL's face! COLE Kneedrop from Bohemoth, and a BIG kneedrop at that! COACH Goodness gracious! His knee is as big as PR's face! Bohemoth calmly goes for the cover. ONE...TWO...KICK OUT! COLE Whoa! He kicked out again! COACH He's showing sparks of life! They're not there for long, but they ARE there! And as long as they're there, there is still hope! Bohemoth argues with the referee, but Charles Robinson puts up two fingers and that's that. PRL gets up, now severely weakened just like last month, and stumbles around the ring. Bohemoth puts a stop to that by grabbing P.R. and whipping him into the ropes. Bohemoth follows that up with a BIG BOOT! PRL falls to the mat! COACH I thought I saw something fly out of his mouth! Indeed something did...PRL's own teeth! The crowd is shocked at this development. PRL slowly crawls on over to his stomach, and there he makes the shocking discovery... HIS TWO FRONT TEETH ARE MISSING! PRL is HORRIFIED when he touches the holes where his teeth should be! PRL's two front teeth are now lying on the mat, which the camera does a close-up of! COLE His teeth are gone! Bohemoth has literally knocked Tha Puerto Rican's teeth out! COACH I don't believe it! Look at that! Look at them lying on the mat! Oh, his matinee idol looks are gone! All these years and they're gone! PRL's gonna end up looking like a toothless freak! COLE So then he'll rip off Mick Foley? COACH Michael Cole, please shut up about that! Tha Puerto Rican is freaking out! He rushes over to grab his two front teeth, but is stopped by Bohemoth. Bohemoth then looks at PRL, looks at the teeth, and then stamps his right foot on the two front teeth! COLE Oh! Adding insult to injury! PRL is teary eyed! He speaks with a lisp now as he tries to get used to having no two front teeth anymore. THA PUERTO RICAN My teeth. My teeth. My teeth! Bohemoth kicks the remains of PRL's two front teeth out of the ring and then picks the toothless Puerto Rican up. Bo gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. Bo goes for a clothesline, but PRL ducks, stops in his tracks, and hits Bohemoth with a punch! And then another punch! And another! And another! COACH Yeah! That's what you get for knocking his teeth out! Lay the smackdown on his candy ass, P.R.! The crowd boos loudly! PR goes for a punch...BLOCKED! Bohemoth punches Tha Puerto Rican, which sends him hard back down onto the mat! PR flops up and down like a fish out of water! Bohemoth picks PRL up. He punches him right in the face! COLE That's for March 23, 2003. Bohemoth punches PRL again! COLE March 24, 2003. And again! COLE March 25, 2003! Bohemoth watches as Tha Puerto Rican slowly gets up. Bo cracks a little smile as he sees PRL wallow in misery. Once Puerto is on his feet, Bo grabs him by his hair, charges forward, and then throws PRL OVER the top rope and onto the floor, with PRL nearly hitting the steel mesh on the way down! COLE Oh my! PRL went FLYING right there! He is at the mercy of Bohemoth right now! The camera cuts to the lockerroom where the people at the party all have smiles on their faces watching PRL lie on the protective mats. PRL is breathing heavily now. He barely manages to sit up, so that he can spit out some blood left over from his missing teeth. Bohemoth sneers at PRL. "MAKE HIM BLEED!" "MAKE HIM BLEED!" "MAKE HIM BLEED!" "MAKE HIM BLEED!" COACH These fans are SICK! SICK! SICK! COLE They've been waiting for a match like this for a LONG time! Let them enjoy it! COACH Absolutely not! PRL slowly gets up. He pushes himself onto his knees, and then uses the steel mesh to pull himself up--Bohemoth gets out of the ring and grabs PRL! COLE That was a really nasty fall by the way! Bohemoth just threw him over the top! That's it! No protection! He just threw him like he was yesterday's newspaper! Bohemoth grabs P.R.'s throat with his bare hands and then lifts him up in the air! Bohemoth gives PRL a double chokehold to the crowd's delight! HOWEVER, since they're near the steel mesh, PRL pokes Bohemoth's eyes, escaping the chokehold, and then climbs the Cell! COACH Look at this! There you go! That's my boy! COLE PRL desperately trying to escape by any means necessary! COACH Who cares about winning? Your life is on the line here! Get away! Get away! PRL continues climbing the Hell In A Cell, but Bohemoth doesn't let that worry him. Instead, he simply grabs P.R. by his tights and pulls him down onto the floor--NO! P.R. holds onto the Cell! Bohemoth tries to pull PR down again! PR still holds on! Bohemoth tries once again, and this time PRL is pulled off the Cell onto the protective mats! PRL lies stomach first on the floor. COLE So much for that. COACH Ugh! Come on PRL! Come on! I'm rooting for you to make it out alive buddy! COLE I'm sure that's comforting him. COACH Of course it would. Everybody likes me! I'm Da Coach! The OAOAST Starbucks Double Shot Expresso Instant Replay shows Bohemoth throwing Tha Puerto Rican over the top rope and onto the floor. COLE Watch this. A BRUTAL fall from Tha Puerto Rican! Bohemoth just threw him without a care in the world! It was amazing! COACH This match is already brutal to watch and we're not even 5 minutes in! I shudder to think what's going to happen the longer this match goes! COLE It can go as long as it wants. Bohemoth is going to take his sweet time dishing out the punishment he feels PRL deserves for four years of bad behavior here in the OAOAST! COACH This isn't right! This isn't right at all! COLE It's right in the eyes of Bohemoth. Will you tell him differently? COACH ...No. Bohemoth picks P.R.L. up and says something to him with fire in his eyes. "The Metrosexual Monster" whips The P.R. Menace into the steel mesh! P.R. hits the steel mesh left shoulder first, then bounces back out onto the floor, where he gets a MURDERLINE~! from Bohemoth! COLE Oh my! A lariat on the floor! Bohemoth is taking Tha Puerto Rican apart piece by piece! COACH He's in no hurry and that's so so sad to know! COLE I think he's starting to like this! Bohemoth lets PR get to his knees before picking him up once again. PIMPHEMOTH~! then whips Puerto Rican into the steel mesh again! He then follows with another MURDERLINE~! COLE Two in a row! Two in a row from Bohemoth! COACH I sure hope Lindsay isn't watching this match now! The Corporate Champion's eyes are glazed over. He's mumbling incoherently as he sits up. P.R. grabs the steel mesh and mumbles incoherently at the fans, not even having the energy to taunt the fans like he usually does! Bohemoth slowly walks over and grabs Tha Puerto Rican by the roof of his mouth and lifts him up! COACH Oh come on! Hasn't he done enough damage to Tha Puerto Rican's mouth already!? Bo grabs PRL and slams his head on the ring apron! PRL slumps to his knees! Bohemoth grabs Tha Puerto Rican by his hair again. PRL's mouth is wide open, so the camera gets a good shot of the space where his two front teeth used to be. Bo drags Tha Puerto Rican over to a corner of the Cell, and then places him in between his legs. The crowd cheers. Bohemoth looks at the fans, and then lifts PRL up in the air-- ---PRL holds onto the Cell and starts punching away at Bohemoth while hanging around his neck! COLE PRL is fighting back! He's fighting back again! COACH Look at PRL use the Cell to his advantage! That takes brains, Cole! Something Bohemoth obviously doesn't have! PRL fires away with right fists, most likely using his missing teeth as motivation to attack. But Bohemoth's strength plays a factor here as the punches don't affect him like they would someone of PRL's size. So, Bohemoth shakes off the numerous punches, grabs PRL by his tights in a powerbomb position, and then SLAMS PRL's back right into the steel mesh! And again! Bohemoth lets go, and PRL drops to the floor! COLE And so much for that. PRL lies on the protective mats on his stomach, his eyes closed, breathing heavily while the crowd cheers. COACH What a sad sad shot that is! COLE Maybe to you. But these people in the Toyota Center are liking it! COACH What a sad sad people they are! COLE Oh come on! Bohemoth slowly walks over to where Tha Puerto Rican is lying just as he's starting to get up. THA PUERTO RICAN Is there a doctor in the houseth? Is there a doctor in the houseth? Bohemoth picks the groggy PRL up. Some blood spills out of P.R.'s mouth. Bohemoth slams Tha Puerto Rican's head on a top ring step! Bohemoth then sets PRL up against the ring apron, measures him up, and punches him in the face! COLE March 26, 2003. And again! COLE March 27, 2003. And again! COLE March 28, 2003. And again! COLE March 29, 2003. March 30, 2003. March 31, 2003. April 1, 2003. April 2, 2003. April 3, 2003. April 4, 2003. April 5, 2003. April 6, 2003. Bohemoth is doing good on his promise thus far! Bo throws Tha Puerto Rican into the steel mesh! COLE April 7, 2003. April 8, 2003. April 9, 2003. April 10, 2003. April 11, 2003. April 12, 2003. April 13, 2003. April 14, 2003. PRL is about to collapse onto the ground, but Bohemoth holds him up, then lifts him up in a bearhug position. Bo walks over to another corner of the Cell and then charges forward, hitting PRL back-first into a ring post! He then follows that up by slamming PRL's back into the steel mesh! Then back to the ring post! Then back to the steel mesh! These are the following sounds PRL makes: "OOH!" "AAH!" "OOF!" "AAAH!" "OH!" "AH!" "OOF!" "OOF!" "OH GOD!" "AAAH!" "AAAAAH!" "OOF!" "AH!" THA PUERTO RICAN GOD HELP ME! Bohemoth lets go of PRL, and The Corporate Champ collapses onto the floor! The crowd cheers loudly! COLE This match has been almost all Bohemoth since the bell rang! Bohemoth is beating Tha Puerto Rican up pillar to post and PRL seems powerless to stop it! COACH He's not using much wrestling moves. He's just BEATING him. Like this is a bar fight or something! COLE Bohemoth is certainly going all out here. He's not trying to win a wrestling match. He wants to HURT Tha Puerto Rican! And that's exactly what he's doing right now! COACH Can't he show him a *little* mercy? COLE Did PRL show mercy to anyone he ever hurt? COACH Well--uh--- COLE Well there you go. Tha Puerto Rican starts speaking incoherently again. PRL gets on his knees. There, Bohemoth picks him up. COACH Not again! Bohemoth scoops PRL up, in a running powerslam position. He then adjusts it a little so that PRL is a human javelin! COACH Not your head! Not your head! Bohemoth takes a few steps back with PRL hanging over his right shoulder. He then charges forward--NO!--PRL slips out and shoves Bohemoth right into the steel mesh! COACH Yes! COLE P.R. with a counter, showing some life again! THA PUERTO RICAN HA HA! Bohemoth gives PRL a MURDERLINE~! knocking him down to the ground! CROWD HA HA! COLE And down goes Tha Puerto Rican! Again. PRL spits out some more blood on the floor. THA PUERTO RICAN I...can't...breathe! I...can't...breathe! Bohemoth picks PR up by his hair. COLE PRL was going to be rammed head-first into the steel mesh, dropped off by Bohemoth, but he escaped, but Bohemoth mowed him down anyhow! COACH He can't seem to keep the advantage for long! Bohemoth slams PRL's head on the top ring step again! Bo grabs PRL, who is COMPLETELY out of it, and punches him in the face! COLE April 15, 2003. COACH If you count the dates one more time, I'm going to scream! PRL falls to the floor. Bohemoth chokes P.R. with his right foot again! COLE Bohemoth once again using an illegal move, but he can in this match! COACH He's choking the life out of him, literally! Why doesn't anybody stop him!? COLE Why don't you!? COACH I've got a job to do! I'm a broadcast journalist! PRL tries to stop the choking, but Bohemoth eventually stops on his own. COLE Well, they call this match Hell In A Cell, and I would suggest that Tha Puerto Rican feels like he is living in hell right now! COACH I guess it's a little too late to expect any compassion whatsoever from Bohemoth. How much longer will this continue!? PRL uses the steel mesh to pull himself up. Bohemoth picks him up anyway. The 6'7" 284 pound big man grabs P.R. by his left hand, and then whips into the steel mesh--PRL reverses--Bohemoth reverses--PRL leaps onto the steel mesh like a Spider-Man! COACH Whoa! He then leaps off with a crossbody block that knocks Bohemoth down! COACH Beautiful! Beautiful! COLE P.R.L. with an impressive offensive manuever! COACH Keep it up! Keep it up! PRL gets right back up and starts hitting Bohemoth with his shaky leg kicks! He then gets down on his hands and knees and starts punching Bohemoth in the face! COACH There's one for January 17, 2006! And there's one for February 24, 2005! And there's one for March 17, 2004! And there's one for April 16, 2007! And there's one for July 8, 2019! And there's one for August 10, 1996! And there's one for-- COLE Coach, what are you doing!? Bohemoth hasn't been in the OAOAST for that long, and besides that, you're getting the dates all mixed up! COACH Who cares? PRL is beating Bohemoth and that's all that matters! The crowd boos LOUDLY as Puerto Rican continues beating up Bohemoth! "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" COACH He does not suck! Look at him now! LOOK AT HIM NOW! The punches managed to keep Bohemoth down on the floor. PRL sneers at the crowd. He then slowly gets up, cracks a smile at Bohemoth's current position, and then rolls back into the ring. COACH You've got the advantage now, Puerto! Keep it up! Keep it up! COLE Tha Puerto Rican's gotta distance himself for his own good. He needs some oxygen! He needs to put himself back together before he can continue! PRL laughs a little, but then coughs and spits out some blood. He checks the holes in his mouth now and whimpers over the loss of his two front teeth. PRL then simply falls to the mat and tries his best to recover as much as he can while Bohemoth struggles to get up. COLE PRL's gotta use his speed if he wants to win and keep his Golden Contract. He's gotta stay on top of Bohemoth! His speed and his agility are his keys to victory! COACH Damn straight. PRL spits out some more blood, wipes the sweat off of his forehead, and then slowly gets back to a vertical base. At the same time, Bohemoth is back on *his* feet and using the ropes to pull himself back into the ring. PRL gets to his feet, and Bohemoth gets on the ring apron at the same time, so PRL punches Bohemoth in the face! He does it again! And again! And again! COACH January 18, 2086. February 12, 1904. March 16, 3010. June 21, 1867. PRL punches Bohemoth for a fifth tim-- BOHEMOTH GRABS PRL AND GIVES HIM A STUNNER FROM THE OUTSIDE! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" P.R. shoots up and then quickly falls back down onto the mat! He rolls halfway across the ring. Bohemoth gets to his feet on the outside and catches his breath. COLE PRL has been slingshotted halfway across the ring! COACH Oh man! He's going to die. He's really going to die! COLE He certainly looks like he's been in a car accident, that's for sure. PR and Bohemoth both cough and catch their breath; PRL struggling while lying on the mat, Bohemoth on the outside holding the Cell. PRL then has a sneer etched on his face when he sees Bohemoth on the outside. He slowly gets up, using the ring ropes to pull himself up to a vertical base. The sneer is still on his face as he gets to his feet. Bohemoth is on the ring apron about to enter the ring...when Tha Puerto Rican charges forward, shoulderblocking Bohemoth right into the Cell! COACH Yes! Bohemoth falls to the floor! The crowd boos as PRL walks with a swagger in the ring! COACH He knocked Bohemoth clear from the ring right into the side of the Cell! COLE PRL back on his feet once again! COACH Where he will remain for the rest of this match-up! PRL laughs a little as he watches Bohemoth slowly get up. PR rests on the ropes while Bohemoth uses the steel mesh to get to his feet. The sweat is already perspiring out of the big man. PRL rushes into the ropes, charges forward, and then leaps into Bohemoth with a TOPE SUICIDA which sends Bohemoth crashing into the steel mesh again! COLE PRL using his body as a torpedo! COACH He's using his speed and agility to win, just like you said! Bohemoth lies on the floor. PRL uses the Cell to pull himself up again. He then climbs the Cell so that he is a good 6 or 7 feet above Bohemoth, and then leaps off, dropping his left elbow right onto Bohemoth's chest! COLE That was like a Corporate Elbow Drop right there! COACH It sure was! Innovative offense from Tha Puerto Rican tonight at School's Out! PRL gets up, and spits at a fan who was taunting him! P.R. then gets onto the ring apron and walks to a ring post. COLE What's he gonna do now? Bohemoth is down on the ground! PRL rushes forward, jumping off the ring apron, doing a SHOOTING STAR PRESS~! right onto Bohemoth! COLE OH MY~! Tha Puerto Rican astounding us all! A Shooting Star Press from the ring apron! When has he ever done THAT before!? COACH There's a first time for everything, Cole! And what better time than now to try something new? PRL sits up, a sneer on his face again. He taunts the fans, and then spits out some more blood, before getting up. COACH He's pulling out all the stops! He's sacrificing his own body to keep the advantage on Bohemoth! As long as PRL controls Bohemoth and not the other way around, he'll be fine!

eeeee sketch ma nig do you have the other half???

The camera cuts back to The Lightning Crew dressing room. The crowd boos. The LC and Stephen Joseph Popick are standing up, anxious. "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican is in his ring gear and carrying his black spray-painted briefcase which contains his Golden Contract inside. PR paces back and forth. He is already sweating. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN So...you ready? STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK I'm ready. The question is, PRL, are YOU ready? THA PUERTO RICAN Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I...I'm...I'm ready. I'm ready. Yeah. I am! I just--uh--I just hope things go smoothly out there! MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ They will, baby. They will. CUBAN WALL Boss, you got this one in the bag! THOMAS RODRIGUEZ Wall is right. You're gonna win this match. I believe in you! MR. BORICUA GRRRRRRRRR. THA PUERTO RICAN Thanks guys. I really appreciate it. POPICK You'll be fine, Puerto. You're going to go out there and DESTORY Bohemoth! You're going to aniliahate him. Bohemoth's not going to know what hit him! PRL Okay. Okay. I'm ready. POPICK All right! Let's do it! THA PUERTO RICAN Let's get together one last time, shall we? POPICK Of course! Tha Puerto Rican, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, Thomas Rodriguez, The Bone Thug, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, and Stephen Joseph Popick huddle around each other. They all put their hands out. They all look at each other. POPICK LC on 3. Ready? 1. 2. 3. THE LIGHTNING CREW AND STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK LC! LC! THA PUERTO RICAN HELP ME GOD! The camera cuts to the party backstage as everyone has gathered around the television set. COLE Well, it's time. It's one of the matches we've been very much anticipating tonight at School's Out! COACH Oh God. Oh God. Oh God in Heaven! This match is actually going to happen! Ominous music plays as the Cell begins lowering from the top of the Toyota Center. The crowd cheers! The lights go down in the arena, with spotlights circling the Hell In A Cell. COLE It is called 'The Devil's Playground', 'Satan's Pool', and 'Beelzebub's Sanctuary'. The Hell In A Cell Match has caused numerous injuries, emotional scars, and careers to end. And now, in only a heartbeat away, Tha Puerto Rican and Bohemoth will step inside this demonic structure for the first time, and quite possibly the LAST time! COACH This is crazy! He doesn't deserve this! The One And Only AngleSault Thread is forcing him to risk life and limb for one match! How dare they? COLE Well, in a way, you could say he brought this onto himself. He has acted obnoxiously to Bohemoth for the past two months, not to mention to pretty much the entire OAOAST roster over the past four years! This is a match that EVERYONE has been dying to see! COACH Don't use 'dying' in a sentence. I'm tensed enough as it is! COLE This match came about because of a tag team match that took place between Tha Puerto Rican, Cuban Wall, Dance Dance Dragon and Bohemoth on the April 12th HeldDOWN~!. But since then, the feud has become personal between P.R. and Bohemoth, and tonight, they look to settle it once and for all! COACH The marketing wizards in the OAOAST are calling this 'P.R.'s Last Stand'! Oh come on now. That's just biasness! COLE It's quite possible this could be the last time we will ever see him, Coach. I know there are about 11 people backstage hoping that is the case. Not to mention the thousands in attendance here in the Toyota Center! The Hell In A Cell could spell the demise of Tha Puerto Rican! The ominous music continues playing as the Cell lowers to the ground. COACH 16-feet high, 20-feet wide. 1 TON in total weight. Two men will be locked inside. No interference. No countouts. No disqualifications. No rules! Bohemoth and PRL can do whatever they want. This isn't going to be pretty! COLE Bohemoth and Tha Puerto Rican have been unable to physically touch each other over the past four weeks, but it ends tonight, and I'm sure Bohemoth is really looking to get his hands on Tha Puerto Rican again! COACH PRL is being FORCED into this! He does not deserve this! AT ALL! You heard me? AT ALL! COLE Well, look what PRL has done-- COACH Oh come on! He doesn't deserve any of this! COLE That's something we could debate for a long time. But right now, let's take a look at the history between PRL and Bohemoth and what led us to this upcoming match-up. A collage of Tha Puerto Rican coming to the ring over the past four years in the OAOAST is shown. COLE (V.O.) Over the past four years, there has been one man who has arguably been more hated, more despised than any other OAOAST superstar ever. BUFFER "The Corporate Champion" THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Cut to a highlight reel of Tha Puerto Rican's numerous actions in the OAOAST. PRL hitting someone with the Corporate Elbow Drop. PRL giving someone a Sweet Chin Music. PRL hitting someone with the Corporate Nightmare. Numerous Corporate Nightmares are played. Cut to shots of PRL posing for the camera and taunting the fans. COLE This gifted superstar has been loved by some and HATED by many, but has still continued to shine as one of the OAOAST's brightest. Cut to PRL doing the HBK muscle pose while pyro explodes behind him. THA PUERTO RICAN I am the most electrifying man in professional wrestling! I am the Corporate Champ! And I am the greatest Puerto Rican athlete of all-time! Cut to Tha Puerto Rican hitting Bohemoth with the steel chair on the April 12, 2007 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. The chairshot is shown in slow motion. Eerie music begins to play. COLE But despite his natural athletic ability, Tha Puerto Rican has for many times in his career in the OAOAST resorted to cheap tactics, backstabbing, and numerous lies. Cut to the May 27, 2003 edition of IntenseZone: Cut to November Reign 2006 on November 27, 2006. Cut to The Lightning Crew beating up several wrestlers including Leon Rodez, Spanish Fly, Colombian Heat, and both members of D*LUX. COLE The cocky arrogant multi-time Champion has showed no mercy to anyone he deems a threat. The charismatic high-flying superstar has laid roughshod over the OAOAST since his arrival, and so far, no one has yet to put a stop to it. PRL Do you hate me? CROWD YEAH! PRL Do you despise me? CROWD YEAH! PRL Do you wish I would just go away? CROWD YEAH! PRL Do you wish I would just die? CROWD YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! PRL Well good, because that's EXACTLY the way I feel about all of you! COLE But until recently, someone has stepped up to the plate. His name is Bohemoth. Cut to PRL hitting Bohemoth with a steel chair on the April 19, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to PRL hitting Bohemoth with a steel chair several times on the April 26, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to Bohemoth being busted open after the chairshots. The eerie music continues playing. COLE Bohemoth is the biggest challenge Tha Puerto Rican has ever faced. At 6'7" 284 pounds, he is looked to by many as the man who can put an end to the P.R. Menace. Cut to Bohemoth punching his way out of the body bag on the May 24, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to PRL screaming like a girl when he sees this. A lightning bolt strikes! CUE OPERA MUSIC~! Cut to a montage of PRL laughing manically, interspersed with clips of a graveyard. Cut to a montage of PRL posing, interspersed with clips of a tombstone. As we see this, we hear Bohemoth speak from the May 10, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. BOHEMOTH Hell In A Cell is gonna be just that. Hell. Hell for Tha Puerto Rican. You see, I'm sick and tired of PRL. I'm sick and tired of hearing his whiney voice. I'm sick and tired of his catchphrases. I'm sick and tired of him running rule over the OAOAST the past four years. And I'm especially sick and tired of all the times he's hit me over the head with a steel chair in the past few weeks! Ya see, it started out with me trying to get my 24/7 Title back. Then, it became about payback. Now... Bo lifts up his shades so his eyes pierce through the camera. BOHEMOTH Now, it's all about HURTING Tha Puerto Rican! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Cut to PRL speaking on the April 26, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. While he speaks, we see the shot of Bohemoth bleeding from the same show. PRL I took him down. I. Took. Bohemoth. Out! I busted him open! I made him BLEED! I DID IT! ME! THA PUERTO RICAN! And then, suddenly, the hype was gone. The myth had disappeared. And I finally realized something. Bohemoth isn't a god! He isn't a monster! No! Bohemoth is human! And humans can be hurt. Humans can be feel pain. Humans...can bleed. And I did all those things to Bohemoth. IF BOHEMOTH CAN BLEED, BOHEMOTH CAN DIE! Cut to Tha Puerto Rican seeing his tombstone from the May 10, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to Tha Puerto Rican seeing a bloodied PRL T-shirt from the May 17, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to Tha Puerto Rican opening up the casket to find a wax sculpture of him dead from the May 24, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. All of this is seen while Bohemoth speaks from the May 17, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. The overdramatic operatic music continues playing. BOHEMOTH I am going to make sure you never wrestle again! At School's Out, in the Hell In A Cell Match, I am going to make sure that you don't walk out of that match ALIVE. On May 27th, they will all be watching as I take all that pain you've done to people...and throw it back at you. May 27th will be your JUDGMENT DAY. Cut to shots of PRL hitting Bohemoth with steel chairs over the past two months. Intersperse with this is more clips of a graveyard, and someone digging a burial plot. Cut to PRL speaking from the April 26, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. PRL The first time it was one chairshot! The second time was two chairshots! The third time, Bohemoth, I don't care what it takes! It could be a damn mack truck! One things for sure, Bohemoth, “The Corporate Champion” will be standing tall! Bohemoth will be flat on his back! And Tha Puerto Rican, The P.R. Menace, will dance all over his corpse and spit on his grave! Cut to PRL warning Bohemoth to stay away from him from the May 10, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to PRL throwing coffee into Bohemoth's face from that same show. Cut to PRL telling Bohemoth to hit him from the May 24, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to PRL and Bohemoth staring at each other. Interspersed with this is clips of a funeral taking place and a funeral procession. We hear Bohemoth speak from the May 17, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. BOHEMOTH School's Out. May 27th. You. Me. Hell In A Cell. And PRL, this won't be a match you'll win. I'm being perfectly honest here. PR, you're going to indeed know what hell is like when I meet you in the squared circle on May 27th. You're going to get hurt. And I'm pretty sure it'll be the worst pain you've ever felt in your life. Cut to shots of the Hell In A Cell. We hear PRL speak from the May 24, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. THA PUERTO RICAN I'm going to come out of this strong Bohemoth! What doesn't kill me makes me stronger! Think about that, Bo! On May 27th, the only person who will get destroyed is YOU! AND ONLY YOU! AND THAT'S THE TRUTH, RUTH! Cut to PRL crushing The Mad Cappa's larynx from the May 27, 2003 edition of IntenseZone. Cut to PRL holding Lauren Gellar hostage from the July 14, 2003 edition of IntenseZone. Cut to PRL slamming the top of the ladder on top of Leon Rodez's surgically repaired right knee from the March 29, 2006 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to The Lightning Crew beating up Ayane Mitsui from the July 14, 2005 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to The Lightning Crew beating up Colombian Heat from the April 29, 2004 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to The Lightning Crew beating down D*LUX from the December 21, 2006 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to PRL laughing manically in an up-close shot. We hear more of Bohemoth speaking from the May 17, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. BOHEMOTH Every punch will be for everyone single fan, wrestler, and OAOAST personnel who is sick to death of you. Every punch will be painful, but even then, it STILL won't match up to the pain you've caused OVER THE PAST FOUR YEARS! No, P.R., despite all the pain you will endure in the Hell In A Cell, it still won't be enough to make up for what you've done. There's a special place in Hell for you, PRL. And on Sunday, May 27th at School's Out, you will get a special sneak preview of it. Cut to more shots of the Hell In A Cell. Intersperse with this is clips of dirt being shoveled into a grave. PRL OH I'M SORRY! YOU WANT TO HEAR THAT!? I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY FOR CRUSHING THE MAD CAPPA'S LARYNX! I'M SORRY FOR KIDNAPPING AND HURTING LAUREN GELLAR! I'M SORRY FOR SCREWING D*LUX! I'M SORRY FOR TURNING MY BACK ON COLOMBIAN HEAT! I'M SORRY FOR EVERY CHEATING VICTORY I'VE EVER HAD! I'M SORRY FOR EVERY LIE, EVERY CHEAP SHOT, EVERY BEATDOWN I'VE EVER DONE! AND I'M SORRY--OH LET'S JUST SAY I'M SORRY FOR EVER BEING BORN! Cut to numerous shots of Tha Puerto Rican bleeding throughout his OAOAST career. Interspersed with this is more clips of the Hell In A Cell. BOHEMOTH Unfortunately for you...it's too late to be saved. No. The Hell In A Cell Match will still take place as planned. And it will still be the final match of your career. On May 27th at School's Out, the world will witness PR's Last Stand. For every fan who's had to put up with your CRAP for four years, this match is for them. I'm going to enjoy this match, but not in the way you would enjoy it. No, I'm going to enjoy it because I am going to be the man who stops this terror in the OAOAST. On May 27th, I will be the man who kills the P.R. Menace. On May 27th, I will be the man who puts you on the injured list PERMANTELY. Karma has brought you to Houston, Texas and School's Out. Every bad thing you have ever done has come back to bite you in the ass. Cut to alternating shots of Tha Puerto Rican celebrating and being in pain. We hear Tha Puerto Rican speak from the May 24, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. THA PUERTO RICAN I FEAR NO MAN! I will step into the Hell In A Cell and I WILL WIN! And there's not a damn thing that ANY OF YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT! Cut to Tha Puerto Rican lying on the mat, bloodied, from AngleMania VI back on April 2, 2006. We see PRL's tombstone, the bloodied shirt, and the casket one more time. We hear Bohemoth speak one more time from the May 17, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. BOHEMOTH P.R., get ready, say your prayers, because, BO'S...GONNA...KILL...YOU! Cut to PRL screaming from the May 24, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to dirt being shoveled into a grave, from the point of view of the person supposedly inside the grave. Dirt covers the camera. The overdramatic operatic music ends. The video package ends. Cut to a close-up of the black spray-painted briefcase. The camera pulls back to reveal "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican holding the briefcase, standing by at the OAOAST School's Out 2007 interview set. The crowd boos. PRL is jumping in place with a serious look on his face. JOSH MATTHEWS P.R., it is time. The much anticipated Hell In A Cell Match is only a heartbeat away. And PR, your Golden Contract is on the line here. How do you feel stepping into the Hell In A Cell for the first time ever in your career, against a man who people say you have No Chance In Hell of beating? Do you feel that your illustrious career is on the line too? "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN Josh, this is just another example of people putting Tha Puerto Rican in a corner. And NOBODY puts Tha Puerto Rican into a corner! If life has taught me anything, it's that if you really REALLY REALLY want something to happen...chances are that the exact opposite of what you want will happen! So, I know that these people really REALLY REALLY REALLY want me to get my ass beat tonight. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" THA PUERTO RICAN But see, because they think that Bohemoth destroying me is set in stone, it's not going to happen! That's the way the universe works! Now I admit it, I'm a little bit...worried about stepping into the Hell In A Cell with a madman. Bohemoth is going to be an animal unleashed inside that 16-feet high, 20 feet wide Cell. And there's not going to be no Popick, no Lindsay, no Wall in there with me. I'm my own man tonight. But I am up for the challenge. I will take the risk, because life is just too short not to! There's no way in, and no way out except through a locked door. But so what? I've got WONDERFUL athletic ability! I'm tougher than nails! And don't forget, I am The Corporate Champ, The Corporate One, The P.R. Menace, the most electrifying man in professional wrestling, AND the greatest Puerto Rican athlete that has ever lived! The fact that I am all that and a bag of chips is the reason that I am going to get through this! THAT and the fact that I am the most TENACIOUS man in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! And the fact of the matter is that there ain't NOBODY crazy enough to do this gig except for "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican! So I am going to go out there and step into Hell... PRL takes a moment to realize what's ahead of him. He does a big cartoonish gulp. THA PUERTO RICAN ...and I am going to come back...ALIVE! THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~! P.R. takes a deep breath, looks at his black spray-painted briefcase, and then walks away. J. MATH Guys, back to you. COLE P.R. sure seemed alot more confident then he was just a few minutes ago. COACH Because he is. He's ready for Bohemoth. The time is now and PRL is up to the task!