Patty O'Green

"You break the laws You hustle, you deal, you steal from us all Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Money talks" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" We return to School's Out and 'business' has picked up (see what I did there?) as "Money Talks" by AC/DC rings out through the Toyota Center. Not laughing like he usually loves to, Theodore Moneymaker walks through the entrance way with a scowl on his face as he looks out at the Houston crowd. Moneymaker just shakes his head sadly at the lack of class. Hey, that's Texas for ya. Before making his walk to the ring though, Moneymaker turns back to the curtains. And the scowl certainly softens a little as not Mackenzie DeCenzo but JADE RODEZ walks through the entrance! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall! On the way to the ring, being accompanied by JADE RODEZ! He represents as the CEO, The Enterprise... from Vero Beach, California. He weighs in tonight at two hundred and thirty seven pounds... here is "THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR"... TTHHHHHHEEEEEEEOOOOOODDOOOOOORRRREEEE... MMMOOOOOOOOONNEEEEEEYYYYYYMMMAAAKKEEEEERRRRR!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Well, this is certainly a turn-up for the books. Jade Rodez, who we haven't seen in a few weeks and lo and behold, finds her first duty for The Enterprise is to 'manage' Mr. Moneymaker against her own brother. Moneymaker steps aside to allow Jade to climb up the ring steps ahead of him, showing he's a real gentlemen. Certainly not dressed for the occassion, the tracksuit clad Jade opens up the ring ropes for Moneymaker who steps in, making the "money fingers" to the fans on one side of the ring. Up go the boos as Teddy taunts another section of the crowd with his wealth. COLE Okay, let's take it backstage where Maria is standing by. *STAR-WIPE~!* Back to Interview Central we go, to be greeted by the lovely smiling face of everyone's favourite interview personality, Maria. Besides her, Leon Rodez is looking off-screen, presumably at a monitor as his hands rest on his hips. MARIA Uh, Leon... you've got a match up next, how are you feeling? Leon barely looks up. LEON (deep breath) Just when you thought someone couldn't stoop any lower. Just when you think things couldn't get any worse, this gets pulled on me. (looks up) You know what 'Teddy', I've gone through everybody you've put in my way. You're entire damned 'Enterprise', I've gone through the lot. CPA. Wright. Ned and Simon. All to get to tonight, all to get you one on one, backed into a corner to the point where you couldn't get out of this! That should tell you how fired up I'm feeling right about now. And to drag my sister out to the ring and have her stand there... yeah, good idea Teddy. I'll admit, it's thrown me off the gameplan a little. Leon smiles to himself. LEON See, the bad news for you is, the gameplan was to go out and just out-wrestle you. You know, like my plan always is. But now? Well, now, your ass is mine! And with that Leon storms off, Maria looking shocked at the use of profanity... *STAR-WIPE 2!* ...as we cut back to the arena. It seems Moneymaker hasn't seen any of the interview as "Money Talks" continues to play, removing his smoking jacket and pull-away pants in the corner. .:CUE: "Rock The Casbah", Trust Company:. "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The Houston crowd erupt, which doesn't seem to be of much concern to Moneymaker. What is of concern though is Leon Rodez, coming out of the traps at full speed and SPRINTING down the aisle! Jade wisely heads for higher ground, Theodore turning around just as Leon slides in. And his attempt to jump him before the bell comes a little too late as Leon pops to his feet and begins to unload with right hands!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Let the battle commence!! *DINGDINGDING!* With the fans going wild Moneymaker is backed up into a corner with the right hands. Which doesn't stop Leon, continue to wail away with wild right after wild right. Moneymaker puts up his hands to try and guard his ruggedly handsome face, probably wondering why referee Mike Chioda is taking so long to get Leon off of him. To be fair, he's trying. But Leon just kinda shrugs him off and opens Moneymaker up... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...for a knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...a second! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...third! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...fourth! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...FIFTH! COACH ENOUGH ALREADY!! With Moneymaker virtually unable to defend himself Rodez changes it up, beginning to stomp a mudhole in the Billion Dollar Heir's chest and walk it dry bah gawd~! Chioda continues to try and get some order and finally Leon seems to be listening as he shows enough restraint to prevent a disqualification being called. The restraint lasts just long enough for Moneymaker to straighten up in the corner, ready for another kick and a wringing of the arm. Out of the corner goes Teddy, coast to coast with an irish whip. Moneymaker hits the opposite turnbuckles and comes staggering out, right into a BAAAACK bodydrop from Rodez!! RODEZ GET UP YOU SON OF A BITCH!! "RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE We have NEVER seen Leon Rodez this fired up! The usual calm, composed, fun-loving Silky Smooth One is beating the hide off of The Billion Dollar Heir and this crowd are lapping it up! As Teddy clambers back up he tries to beg off, even going so far as to remind Leon of his wealth in an attempt to bribe his opponent into some mercy! Nothing doing though as Moneymaker retreats right back into the corner. Pinning Moneymaker in, Leon climbs the middle rope, grabbing hold of Teddy's well groomed locks and pulling his head back... "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" "NINE!" "TEN!" "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Leon really savours the tenth punch, ignoring yet more warnings from Chioda to get out of the corner. All in due course as he climbs back down, sending Moneymaker across the ring again with an irish whip. Moneymaker hits the turnbuckles and nestles in the corner this time, looking completely drained already. However, he's given a bit of a breather, as Leon has stopped, locking eyes with his sister on the outside of the ring. Understandably distracted, Leon looks at the cold stare on his sister's face for a few seconds, before re-directing his attention to Moneymaker and charging... ...right into a money green boot to the face!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH There we go Teddy, that's more like it. COLE We just saw right there exactly why Jade Rodez is out here tonight. Leon, completely distracted there, long enough to buy Moneymaker the seconds he needed to ready that boot. As Rodez hits the deck, the relieved Moneymaker takes a moment and shakes out the cobwebs. Once his head is clear, Moneymaker sets himself on the middle rope. Measuring Leon he then comes off with a fist, delivered with precision right between the eyes! With a wild look in his eyes, The Billion Dollar Heir then clamps his hands around Leon's throat and blatantly chokes him! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FO..." Moneymaker breaks the choke and drags Rodez out of the corner to his feet. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" The favour is returned from earlier as Theodore lashes Leon with a wild knifedge chop. Leon doesn't go down though. So Moneymaker slugs him with a big right hand and the momentum sends Rodez falling into the lower ring ropes, right by his sister. With the same stoic look Jade takes a step back away from the apron and watches as Leon looks up at her, reaching out a hand as if asking for some help. Which he doesn't get, Jade just standing with arms folded as Moneymaker walks over and places his foot on the back of The Silky Smooth One's head, pressing his throat against the bottom ring rope!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Look at that... "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" Moneymaker breaks, warning lowly Chioda to keep his distance. COLE How heart-breaking must that be for Leon Rodez? His own sister, sitting back, staring at him as the life is choked out of him! Does she have no compassion anymore!? COACH Why should she show compassion? What has Leon ever done for her? COLE He's her brother, moron! COACH That doesn't mean he was ever there for her, ever showed her any support and encouragement. Not like The Enterprise has shown! Pulling Leon back off the ropes, Moneymaker lays in a forearm. And a second. With Leon against the ropes Moneymaker then sends him for the ride, catching him as he comes back off the ropes with a clothesline from the left side! Sweat flies off of Rodez's chest from the impact, Teddy sensing he has a chance and quickly following with the cover... 1... 2... No! MONEYMAKER AGAIN! 1... 2... No! Even with the leg hooked, Moneymaker doesn't get the three. Of course, this is all the referee's fault and not Teddy's for assuming that a simple clothesline would win him such an important match. And as such, the referee hears about it at full volume from Moneymaker. "TED - DY SUCKS!" "TED - DY SUCKS!" "TED - DY SUCKS!" "TED - DY SUCKS!" Responding to the crowd, Moneymaker gets his head back into the match and strides back over to Leon. A quick punch to the gut gives Rodez and his fans some hope. But the hope is extinguished with a quick kneelift, before Moneymaker hooks up The Silky Smooth One, sweeping him over with a Gutwrench Suplex! COACH Look at that, fantastic execution! The best money can buy! COLE That was good, I'll admit it. Cover by Teddy... 1... 2... Kickout! Keeping Leon pinned down, Moneymaker stands up... and jumps up with a cruel stomp to the face! MONEYMAKER "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Moneymaker has succeeded in slowing the pace down here, which is where he's most comfortable. COACH And where he can do things like jump on your face. Which is always fun. Leading Leon back up again, Moneymaker hangs onto a wrist and with Leon barely able to stand, a quick tug on the arm drags him into a Short-Arm Clothesline! The Billion Dollar Heir looks to be in complete control now as he again brings Leon back up. Scoop and a slam puts Rodez where he's wanted, right by the corner. And with Rodez seemingly out Moneymaker waltzes over to the corner, climbing to the middle rope facing into the crowd. MONEYMAKER THAT'S RIGHT! *"money fingers"* MONEY TALKS! Clap of the hands and Teddy falls back with the elbow... ...NOBODY HOME!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Moneymaker hits so hard he ends up tumbling heels over head, winding up flat on his face in the centre of the ring. The Billion Dollar Heir clutches his right arm, kicking his feet in pain as the fans start to try and get behind Rodez again. COLE That was not so smart. And now, a chance for Rodez to recover! COACH I don't know what Teddy was thinking going for the elbow so early, but I'd never doubt a billionaire like himself. I'm sure he knew what he was doing. COLE Well, apparantly not if he missed. Both Leon and Theodore begin to climb to their feet as the standing ten count being laid on them reaches a "five". Leon has the ropes for help and reaches his feet first, Moneymaker up moments later but seemingly lost. Around he turns, Leon waiting on him. Block of a right hand... and Rodez hits one of his own! Moneymaker... blocked, Rodez with the right hand! Another block, another right! And now Rodez unloads on The Billion Dollar Heir, backing him completely across the ring and setting him up for an irish whip. Moneymaker tries the reversal, but the reversal of the reversal sends him into the ropes, caught on the way back with an Inverted Atomic Drop! As Moneymaker clutches his billion dollar balls, a clothesline knocks him down, Leon beginning to build some momentum again! Rolling to his knees, Teddy has apparantly had enough, as he tries to beg off. Of course, Rodez isn't going to be fooled by that... ...but he is fooled into walking into a thumb to the eye! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH That's why he's a billionaire Michael, his smarts! COLE That and his rich parents sure. With Leon temporarily blinded Moneymaker quickly wheels him into the ropes, catching him on the way back with a foot to the gut. With Rodez doubled over Teddy then hits the ropes. Up comes the Billion $ Kneelift... ...but Leon turns his head out of the way and takes Moneymaker down with a Schoolboy... 1... 2... NO!! Scrambling to his feet, Moneymaker looks to get the jump on his opponent with a quick clothesline. It's a swing and a miss though as Leon switches behind into a waistlock, looking for a German... blocked! Moneymaker fights his way out with some elbows, before switching behind himself and looking to apply the Cobra Clutch! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..." COLE Bank Vault! COACH He's got it! ...no he hasn't! As soon as the hands lock, Rodez rushes forward to the corner and with a well-timed duck of the head, driving Moneymaker face-first into the top turnbuckle!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH OH! COLE Great counter by Leon! Moneymaker comes staggering out of the corner, lights on but no sign of anybody home. Quickly Leon ducks out of the ring and heads up top, able to reach the third floor before Teddy recovers and diving off the top with a majestic Crossbody Block... 1... 2... Kickout! Coming to his feet, Moneymaker finds nothing but the corner, turning around in search of Leon and finding a faceful jab! A jab! COACH Come on Teddy! A jab! COACH Duck and move! Duck and move! A jab! COACH Footwork, footwork! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels... *SMACK!* ...and nailing Moneymaker upside the head with the enziguri! COACH GAH! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! While he still has some senses Moneymaker makes the decision to roll out of the ring, trying to buy himself some time. Time is one thing his many riches can't buy though, as Rodez is right on his tail, chasing The Billion Dollar Heir around ringside. Woozy, Moneymaker doesn't get very far. And with Leon just about to catch him, he gets desperate, grabbing Jade by the shoulders AND HOLDING HER IN FRONT OF HIM LIKE A HUMAN SHIELD!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh... give me a break! With his fist balled up ready to strike, some of the crowd encourage Leon to just go ahead and hit her. Of course he's not going to do that though. Moneymaker is more than confident of that and continues to hold Jade in front of him until it looks like Leon's going to make a move, before pushing her into him! Trying to get his sister out of harm's way, Leon turns Jade around and motions for her to get away. Which is all the distraction Moneymaker needs to bundle into him from behind... *CLUNK!* ...AND SEND HIM CRASHING SHOULDER FIRST INTO THE RINGPOST!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Now that Leon is down, Moneymaker checks that Jade is okay, before putting the boots to her fallen brother. Jade just watches on, only a little shaken up by her part in proceedings. COACH Great teamwork. COLE You have got to be kidding me! What a cheap, lowlife move! What an asshole! COACH Hey! I don't care if we're on PPV or not, you can't say that. Not about a man like Theodore, he'll slap a lawsuit on you the second this comes out on DVD! "ASS - HOLE!" "ASS - HOLE!" "ASS - HOLE!" "ASS - HOLE!" COLE Apparantly I'm not in the minority with my opinion. COACH That'd be a first! Besides, you probably started it up yourself. Moneymaker throws Leon back into the ring now and slides right back in after him. And he's poised again, hands up, ready to lock The Silky Smooth One back into the Bank Vault again! Slowly Leon climbs back up and with his back to The Billion Dollar Heir, he doesn't see it coming... ...AND GETS LOCKED INTO THE BANK VAULT!! COACH He's got it this time! COLE Cobra Clutch Sleeper applied, right to that right arm that just got posted moments ago! Already sensing victory, Moneymaker yells at Chioda to "check him" as Rodez sink to one knee. With a bad arm Rodez seems unable to fight the hold and gets thrown around like a ragdoll for a few seconds, Moneymaker really putting the hurting on until he feels the fight beginning to vanish from his opponent. Slumped over, Leon shows little signs of life. So Chioda does as he's told, lifting up Leon's free arm... ...IT DROPS! COACH That's one! "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Chioda raises the hand again, Moneymaker's head nodding away... ...AS IT DROPS AGAIN!! COACH That's two! COLE One more and this one is over! Does Leon have any fight left!? Just for a little security Moneymaker throws Leon around a couple more times before letting him settle. Still Rodez is slumped forward and the arm looks limp as it's lifted up by the referee, looking over to the timekeeper's table as he lets go... ...AND IT DROPS!! MONEYMAKER COLE That's it, Leon is out. *DINGDINGDING!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Moneymaker releases the hold and let's Leon slump forward, the crowd booing but clearly in some state of shock. Referee Chioda raises Teddy's hand before checking for any signs of consciousness from Rodez. Which is the least of Moneymaker's worries as he laughs it up for all to see and hear. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of this match... "THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR"... TTHHEEEEOOODDOOORREEE MMMMOOOOONNEEEEYYYYYMMAAAAAAAKKEEEEERRRRRR!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" With another maniacal laugh, Moneymaker strolls over to where Rodez lays, curled up in a heap and apparantly out cold as Chioda tries to keep The Billion Dollar Heir from doing anything else to him. Unconscious or not, Moneymaker gloats to Rodez and makes the "money fingers", to Leon and to the crowd, the latter of which actually seeing it and giving him the "thumbs down". COLE Well, I've got to say, somewhat of a mild upset here. Theodore Moneymaker defeating one of the OAOAST's finest here at School's Out, although not without some schenanigans involving Jade Rodez. COACH 'Schenanigans'? You didn't call them that when she was with D*LUX! No no, Jade proved her worth tonight, her worth to The Enterprise! A coming of age for Teddy's singles career and a coming of age for Jade's managerial career, all rolled into one! A fine outing for The Enterprise! COLE You're too much. Moneymaker finally leaves with Jade in tow and finally Leon shows some life, but not much. Bleary-eyed he looks up at referee Chioda who tries to tell him it's over, but whether he understands or not isn't clear. And while Leon recovers, here's something else!

The (TV) screen goes black, and the following appears on the screen. The following announcement was paid for by World Domination Wrestling. Soft music accompanied by wind instruments plays, and a spotlight slowly raises over an all black wrestling ring with red ring ropes. (voiceover) In the beginning, the land was pure. Even in the early morning light, you could see the beauty in the forms of nature. Head shot of Alfdogg looking off into the distance. Soon men and women of every color... Shot of an Asian man doing martial arts poses in the shadows. And shape... Shot of an overweight tattooed man wearing colorful clothing. Would be here too. And they would find it all too easy sometimes not to see the colors... Shot of Chris Stevens smashing said tattooed man from behind with a mirror. ...and to ignore the beauty in each other. Shot of Alf delivering a beltshot to CWM. But they would never lose sight of the dream. Head shot of Jamie O'Hara looking off into the distance. The bitter world that they could unite... Shot of Team Heyross looking at each other, then turning to look at the camera with a smirk on their faces. And build together...in Triumph. As the last line is spoken, a camera shot from the ground is shown with a red tint, with Rick Heyross, Alfdogg, and Axel standing left to right and looking down into the camera smiling. The screen then fades into another announcement. World Domination Wrestling presents: WDW Triumph Coming Saturday, June 2 Can You Feel It? It has been the foundation of the OAOAST It has revitalized careers and created legends It has unleashed a bevy of outrageous characters upon an unsuspecting world And now it is your's to own on DVD in Cult Of Personality: The Story of the OAOAST tag division Featuring: ***Twenty two unedited matches, including never before seen footage of GPX, Black T, and The Sooner Bruisers.*** A two and a half hour documentary, including interviews from GPX... SCOTTY STATIC I'll give Black T they respect, when the people give GPX more respect. All this talk about Black T this, Black T that, that's people getting to nostalgic, trying to recreate what really happen. Black T was the greatest? In who's fantasy world? Maybe on some little kids Gamecube, not in real life. GPX was the greatest, because we were the reason people were paying money to be in the arena. Black T had nothing to do with it. It coulda been anyone in that ring with us. GPX was the draw. The Beverly Hills Blonds .... SIMON SINGLETON I'm thankful for what..uh..what Jim Cornette did for Ned and I, I guess. But, really..um..it got to the point where everyone, Ned, myself, the company, eveyrone had to step back and ask what is Cornette even doing for us? We have great size, great skills in the ring and on the mic, we've been consistently on top or near the top since day one. Why do we need Jim Cornette again? And that was the end of that. Can I go now? LOGAN MANN FEMALE INTERVIEWER How does it feel to have your work be part of the library of... MANN Library? Shoot, that reminds me I gotta return that coping with Gonorrhea book. Hey, if you should have any strange discharges, you know, get that get checked out. But, uh, it's not my fault! Cult Of Personality: The Story of the OAOAST tag division

VS Tailored suits, show of your cars Fine hotels and big cigars Up for grabs, up for a price Where the red hot girls keep on dancing through the night The claim is on you The sights are on me So what do you do That's guaranteed Hey little girl, you want it all The furs, the diamonds, the painting on the wall!! Come on, come on, lovin for the money Come on, come on, listen to the money talk Come on, come on, lovin for the money Come on, come on, listen to the money talk The School's Out entrance doors tear apart, and wrestling's evil empire, The Enterprise wastes little time in making their presence known to the irascible audience. As gold and purple spot lights swirl about the state of the art venue, Simon Singleton, attired in black trunks with sparkling gold stars, is the first to appear for his squadron. His trusted Siclopse rests upon his shoulder, faithfully capturing an intense sermon on faith, morality, and the Dow Jones that's given by Christian Wright. The Natural is clad in bright turquoise slacks, but the terrible choice in clothing doesn't seem to dissuade Simon from video taping his associate's passionate speech. Ignoring his comrades' ridiculous endeavors, CPA ambles down the ramp, his enormous frame jammed into ill fitting black jeans and grey tanktop. Allen is quickly forgotten by both camera and crowd alike, as the blond haired turncoat, Jade Rodez makes an appearance on the entrance stage. Attired in a loose fitting pink track suit, her hands fall to her hips in a look of frigid indifference. What she lacks in emotion is more then made up for by Ned, who circles around her lean body, capturing her image on an invisible camera, while he whistles at her captivating beauty. Speaking of captivating, Mackenzie stands at Simon's side, her unruly wavy hair swept elegantly into a twist, her soft, worsted wool suit smoothed into place, her silk blouse fluffed. An alluring unignorable smile had been rehearsed, and she presents it with a casual, practiced nonchalance. BUFFER The following contest is an eight person tag team match and it is scheduled for one fall without a time limit! Introducing team number one, being accompanied to the ring by Jade Rodez and Mackenzie DeCenzo. First, he weighs in at two hundred twenty pounds, hailing from Beverly Hills, California by way of Charleston, South Carolina, he is the video voyeur, SIMON SINGLETOOOON! Upon hearing his name spoken to the world, Simon turns his camera away from Wright, and onto his toothful grin, filling up the picture with a less then cool thumbs up. Thankfully he ceases the dorky gesture when an embarrassed Mackenzie slaps him upside the head. BUFFER And also from Beverly Hills, California by way of your wife's bedroom, he is The Handsome Hustler, NED BLAAAAANCHAAAARD! Considering himself to be the world's most eligible bachelor and the handsomest hunk of maleness on two feet, Blanchard twirls around to showcase his sexiness to a revolted audience. They're even more revolted when Blanchard begins to MOON them. Once again, Mackenzie's violent intervention saves us from the Blonds lunacy. BUFFER And from the Collection Agency, he weighs in at two hundred and eighty pounds, he is CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN! And finally he weighs in at 8 1/3 bars of gold, from Washington DC, he is THE NATURAL CHRISTIAN WRIGHT! Together they are THE ENTEPRISE! More accurately they are the team that is nearly booed out of the building by the ornery fans. Ever the ill tempered one, Blanchard is quick to pick a fight with a gang of rough looking heckles within the front row. Simon has no desire to to break up the verbal scuffle, and instead captures it on the Siclopse for posterities sake, and secretly hopes it will degenerate into a full on brawl. Violence makes for good footage after all. Jade and Mackenzie position themselves on the outside. Whereas Mackie joyfully discuss strategy with CPA and Wright, Jade simply leans against the steel barricade, offering no interest to the proceedings. COLE These people, led by Theodore Moneymaker, have done nothing but evil since they've formed as a group. Theodore Moneymaker has orchestrated Jade's turning on her brother, and has waged a war on Chicks Over Dicks simply because he doesn't approve being a lesbian. COACH Aight, son, Jade is free to make her own choice who to hang out with, she didn't get on Leon's case when he was nailing fifty year old hookers in The MILF next door, so why's he getting on her case when she wants to hang out with college educated men and women. And as for lesbians, you know if you look like Rosie O, be a dyke, I don't care, I wasn't about to hit that ass anyway. But when you got hot women, hot white women, saying they're only gonna do chicks, then you know, that pisses me off and that shit needs to be dealt with. "JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT! JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!" As the audience is brought to their feet by the steady rhythm of the bouncing music, the targets of their cheers, “Tremendous” Tyler and “Showtime” Shayne emerge from parting entrance doors. Bursting with eagerness to best the team that stole his manager away, Tyler emits a mighty roar as he climbs atop a locker on the entrance stage. Screaming into the night, he tears away at his stylish denim jacket and hastily discards it to the floor. His jubilation is contagious and causes the crowd to increase the intensity of their cheers. Shayne devotes his attention to the throng of teenage girls in the audience, nodding and pointing to everyone he sees, causing them to fall over with delirious delight. Eventually the two teenyboppers come together at the center of the stage, where they pass along high fives and encouraging words for the upcoming bout. BUFFER And the opponents, first from The Motor City, Detroit, Michigan, they weigh in at a total combined weight of three hundred eighty eight pounds, they are “Tremendous” Tyler, “Showtime” Shayne, they are D*LUUUXXXXXXXX! The announcement of the boybander's name brings out more shrieks from the young ladies, who have pushed up to the edge of the steel barricade to get a glimpse of the hottest boys to ever grace the OAOAST'S presence. Outfitted in matching red cargo pants and tennis shoes, the boys pass along nods to their legion of adoring fans. Tyler begins to offer his denim jacket to a young girl in a wheelchair, but thinks twice, when he eyes the horrific sight of numerous women converging on her in preparation to rob her of the souvenir. Disturbed by that chilling sight, Tyler simply gives the jacket to a ringside attendant and distances himself from his crazed adorers. COLE D*LUX is a very popular duo with our female fans, and many of our male fans, if you can read between the lines, but the most popular female in their life, Jade Rodez, cruelly abandoned them to shack up with The Enterprise, a collection of cold hearted, ruthless, monsters... COACH Boo-hoo, mang! Boo-hoo! That was two months ago! Get over it! You have every fifteen year old skank in North America throwing themselves at your feet, and you're pinining over your manager? Not your bitch, not your girl, or your ho, but your manager? That's weak, son. That's weak. Do they even have testicles? Is there documented proof of Tyler and Shayne having testicles? I mean, Tyler is a girl's name and S-H-A-Y-N-E is a girl's name also. She's a character on the L Word, ask Krista, I'm sure she's done her before. COLE Coachman, that is enough! Once they reach the ring the duo can't help but have their focus captured by their former best friend, Jade Rodez. They have a burning desire to reach out to her, but the fact that she's surrounded by four of the baddest men in the OAOAST prevent them from such an action. Instead they linger about the outside, depression over Jade driving down their once buoyant spirit. Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend! Hey, hey, you, you! I know that you like me! No way, no way! No, it's not a secret Hey, hey, you, you!! I want to be your girlfriend! Well aware of who the bubblegum track belongs to, the audience pours down chants of “C-O-D! C-O-D!” from every inch of the venue. Their cheers are so loud that they can't even be drowned out by the crackling of the magnificent pink pyro waterfall that dives from the ceiling. Even the noise of the red pyro fountain, and the ensuing sparks the intertwining fireworks create isn't enough to silence the roaring fans. But as the pink and red showings fade into oblivion a yellow monster prepares to overwhelm the bleating of the fanbase. BOOOOM! A golden pyro wall engulfs the entirety of the entrance, overtaking the floor, the angletron, the entry away, half the surrounding audience, and the crowd's thrilled chants. But as soon as as the golden block evaporates into a thick wall of smoke, the spectators increase their chants to unheard of decibel levels. Through this cloudy mist emerges a gorgeous picture, that of Krista Isadora Duncan, golden hair swept in front of an expression of stoic confidence. Her hips flow into a fluffy white skirt that reaches only to her mid thigh, showing off plenty of the long bare legs that fill into white platform boots. A red Bulzeye tank top that reads “Kiss of death” hangs in tattered rags off her shoulders. From behind her darts Alix Spezia, a 5'8 ball of energy, filling out faux fur covered boots, and white booty shots that sit low on her hips, leaving her sexy midriff bare and showing a hint of her purple g-string. A black Toki Doki cut off t-shirt that reads I Love LA is cropped above her abs. COLE And here come America's Sweethearts, the OAOAST tag team champions, who have had to deal with constant threats to their titles set before them by Theodore Moneymaker. They've held out thus far, but how long can they survive Moneymaker's constant assault on their title reign? Ally's skipping is drawn to an abrupt halt the second Krista latches onto her arm. Unable and unwilling to escape the tight grip, she's twirled like a ballerina and pulled into her dance partner's arms. Krista gently weaves her hands along the outlines of Alix's curvy figure, her soft touch consuming every inch of Alix's figure. Grinning underneath the caressing, Alix flips an alluring kiss to camera causing cute super imposed red lips to pop on the screen. BUFFER And their partners.... “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” BUFFER .....first, from Los Angeles, California, she is a two time twenty four seven champion, the CEO of Mrs.Spezia's sweeties, The Hollywood Bad Girl, ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! And her partner, from Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, a fitness queen, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, she is Miss California Krista Isaodra Duncan! Together they are three time OAOAST world tag team champions, America's Sweethearts, and Hollywood “It” Girls, Chicks Over Dicks! The duo treks down the ramp in entirely different manners. Alix pulls flowers from a miniature basket fastened to her title belt and tosses the petals to her army of wild fans. Krista, on the other hand, has to fight a desperate battle to prevent the flowers from landing in the hair the makeup department just spent the past three hours styling. When she pleads with Alix to cease her annoying activities, her appeal is greeted by the dumping of the entire basket onto her head! COACH That lesbian stuff, that's fine if it's happening on DVD, or in Coach's bedroom after we sip on some that Alize, you know, but when you wannna bring it out in public, and start treating like it's real. Naw, that shit don't fly. There ain't nothing real about love between a man and a man and a woman and a woman. It's a result of not being able to deal with members of the opposite sex, that's what Mister Moneymaker told me. He said it's a sickness, a mental illness, not something you have a parade for. Do you have a parade for a schizophrenia? Depression? No, you gotta treat it. Just like you gotta treat homosexuality. The girls make their way onto the ring apron, and greet D*LUX with smiles and encouraging words. Alix tries to tell them not to waste their attention on Jade, but considering Tyler was staring at Miss Rodez when she said that, those may have been wasted words. As Alix is too busy trying to help Tyler through the painful feelings that came with seeing Jade, and Krista is wrapped up in pulling flowers out of her, Brave is required to start the bout for his unit. COLE As far as I know this will be the first time Chicks Over Dicks and D*LUX have ever been in the same ring as each other, and it will be the first time either team has met up with Christopher Patrick Allen. DING DING DING! And so the match begins with Shayne squaring off against the monstrous CPA. Allen's knuckles slam into his open palm, waiting for their chance to devour Shayne's face. But the boybander pays little attention to the jeans clad beast in front of him. Rather his focus, and his challenging words are directed squarely at Ned Blanchard. After each challenge, Shayne tosses a glance towards Krista to collect her approval. However, her bored expression is indecipherable, and forces Shayne to increase his efforts to draw Ned into the ring. COLE Shayne looking to get some of Ned Blanchard in the early going. I guess to impress Krista, but if Krista wants Ned beatdown I'm pretty she can and has done it herself! Blanchard wants nothing to do with the energetic grappler and dismisses him with a wave of his hand. Brave isn't swayed by Ned's dismissal, however, and extends another invitation into the ring. Again Ned is unwilling to buy into his foe's threats, and remains on the ring apron, chuckling at the stupidity of the demands. Disgusted by the cowardice, Shayne mocks Ned's behavior by doing a crazed chicken dance across the floor! “BAWK! BAWK! BAWK!” the audience chants, joined by Tyler and Alix. Krista merely wonders “Would a fall from the ring apron be enough to kill me?” The Handsome Hustler refuses to let his honor be molested by the cretinous Texans, and finally answers Brave's call to arms. A swipe of CPA's hand brings Ned into the squared circle, where his white boots dart towards Shayne. The boybander greets his charge by grabbing onto his side and upending him with a back body drop! Blanchard's body loudly snaps upon impact with the canvas, bringing great delight to the Toyota Center crowd. “SHAYNE! SHAYNE! SHAYNE!” Nursing his lumbar (yay anatomy class!), Blanchard staggers to a standing position. But the second he rises, he is sent through the air by Brave's hip toss. Thankfully for The Enterprise, their man lands on his feet in the middle of the School's Out Logo. His luck ends there, however, as Showtime drives him to the canvas with a front Russian leg sweep. Brave rolls Ned's wounded corpse over for the first pin of the contest. Elderly referee Clem Buzzlefoxer scores the fall... ONE Blanchard tears his shoulder off the mat, and soon his whole body follows suit. As Shayne stands to meet him, The Ned Man peppers him with a series of left and right jabs. The fast moving strikes daze the cute teeny-bopper, and allow Ned's arms to coil around his waist for a front waistlock. He begins to lift Showtime off the canvas, but before his red tennis shoes can even get into the air, Shayne's hands clasp down on Ned's neck. His head tucks beneath Neddy's chin, and soon his whole body sags downward into a sitting position. Blanchard has little choice but to follow him down, and his jaw smacks off of the Detroiter's skull! “YEAAAAA!” The Handsome Hustler staggers back, blood creeping from his scowling mouth. He wants to create some distance between himself and his rival, but Shayne will grant him no such benefit and topples him with a running dropkick! The crowd is ecstatic and salutes Shayne with a round of applause, which he responds to by pumping his fist and beating his chest. Once he's through with his celebration, he tags Tyler Bryant, allowing his best friend to join in the fun of attempting to get on Krista's good side by smacking down her old flame. COLE We see Jade Rodez on the outside, her face looks like it's carved out of ice, there isn't a single detectable expression coming off her. Blanchard stands up, ready to to make up for his previous gaffes by crushing Tyler under foot. Unfortunately, little Tyler has become preoccupied with the task acquiring a microphone. When a ringside attendant grants him his wish, he decides to totally ignore Ned, and pay tribute to music legends The Backstreet Boys, by performing their late nineties hit Everybody. “Am I original?” His soft voice croons “YEAAAAAAH!” The production department proves they have asense of humor, by dimming the lights to a soft pink that plays sensually off the boybander's glistening skin. “Am I the only one?” “YEAAAAAAH!” “Am I sexual?” “YEAAAA!” “Am I everything you need, you bettah rock ya body now! Everybody....yeaaaaah....everybody rock ya body right. D*LUX'S back alright...” More of 98 Degrees man then a Backstreet Boy, Ned has had enough of D*LUX's TRL-esque tomfoolery. Thus he seeks to silence Ty with a basic shoulder block. Unfortunately for Ned and his eardrums, Tyler combats his charge by smashing boot into his midsection. But Ned shrugs aside the pain to make another attempt on his musical foe. However, Tyler delays his effort with an index finger into the air and a warning of “This is my big solo, man!” As a spotlight from the heavens highlights the musical angel, he belts slow notes gripped by pure passion , “So everybody, everywhere, don't be afraid, don't have no feaaaaar I'm gonna tell the world, make ya understhaand As long as there'll be music, we'll be comin' back agaaaain! Ahhhhhh! Everybody....yeaaaaah....everybody rock ya body right. D*LUX'S back! Alright!” Applause for Tyler's tremendous musical ability reach epic proportions, earthquaking the arena, and further delving Ned into the depths of insanity. So consumed with disgust and disbelief, he fails to notice the house lights have returned to normal. Even worse, he neglects to observe that Tyler has maneuvered to his side. It's only midway through the side Russian leg sweep that Ned realizes Tyler's position. By the time he thinks to do anything, the leg sweep has already dumped him into the canvas. As the crowd salutes his show of skill, Tyler pins his foe... ONE TWO But Ned shoots his shoulder off the canvas. He steps upright, and immediately goes on the attack, hammering his rival's adorable face with closed fist. The illegal strikes back Ty into a neutral corner. Yet he doesn't stay in that position for very long, as Blanchard whips him across the ring. Bryant's back smashes into the turnbuckle, and he casts out a sharp groan of agony. Upon hearing Ty's tortured cries, Ned's eyes narrow into sinister slits, and he darts towards the teeny-bopper with murder on his mind. But his evil intentions never see the light of day, as Tyler bests his charge with a Yakuza Kick! Face obliterated by the deathly strike, The Handsome Hustler timbers backwards, joined in descent by anguished cries. “TYLER! TYLER! TYLER!” the young ladies in the audience chant. The recipient of the audience's love journeys to the highest turnbuckle, where he patiently waits for his beleaguered rival to rise. When the Ned finally reaches an unsteady vertical base, Ty-Bry (cute nickname!) damns him with further misery by dismounting his perch and attacking Blanchard with a cross body block. Despite numerous shouts of “Watch out, man!” from CPA, the three time tag team champion fails to avoid the incoming missile, and the chiseled chest of Tyler Bryant crashes through his upper body. Both competitors topple downward, and referee is quick to score the fall. Well as quick as a near ninety year old can possibly be. ONE! TWO! One again Ned pushes aside certain doom with a hasty kickout. As a nervous sweat grips hold of his rough skin, Ned speedily moves to his feet. The lone objective on his mind is reaching his corner to make a tag with his infinitely fresher Enterprise mates. Unfortunately a two hundred pound wall of teenage sex appeal named Tyler Bryant serves as a formidable obstacle to this goal. However, Ned has zero intention of letting the former American Idol contestant keep him from safety. With dismissive finality, Blanchard tries to brush past Ty. Unfortunately for the Ned Man, Tyler quickly clamps down on him with a front facelock. The Handsome one promptly begins thrashing and bucking his body against Bryant's grip. Tyler's minimal strength isn't enough to contain Ned, and eventually the man escapes. He makes use his freedom by taking hold of Ty's arm and wrenching it around in a deliberate manner. When it reaches the height of the air, Ned snaps it down, sending shockwaves of pressure through Tyler's aggrieved limb. Bryant tries to slink away, but the power of Ned's grip is too much to overcome, and the sudden movement only burdens him with more pain. COACH The Ned Man knows the pro wrestling backwards and forwards. This cat is always on his game, you can't keep him down but for maybe three seconds. COLE Well, three seconds is all you need keep him down for. Still in possession of Ty's arm, Blanchard bombards the boy's ribcage with two quick kicks. Bryant doubles over in agony, the wind all but drained from him. Ned takes advantage of his moment of weakness by leaping into the sky and smashing the sole of his boot into his face. As Bryant plummets downwards, Ned captures his moment of misery on an imaginary camera phone, a gesture that does not endear him to the capacity crowd. “BLANCHARD'S A PUSSY! BLANCHARD'S A PUSSY!” “Hey, if you like to screw goats, say Blanchard's a pussy!” Ned screams. WRIGHT BLANCHARD'S A PUSSY! KRISTA While the world is left to ponder what manner of insanity was going through Wright's mind at that exact moment, Ned journeys to his corner to apply a tag with Simon. Once he gets onto the ring apron, The Ned Man makes certain to position himself as far away from Wright as humanely possible. Upon entering the ring, the former sultan of sarcasm arrogantly rakes his boot across the face of his downed rival. Leaving his foe to nurse a bruised cheekbone on the mat, Simon raises his hands in triumph and shouts “Hey!” “BOOOOOOO!” the audience responds. “Hey!” “BOOOOOO!” “If you want sixteen thousand dollars of Theodore Moneymaker's cash, chant Simon is the sexiest man on earth!” “BOOOOOO!” Singleton grows tried of his argument with the audience and refocuses himself on the task of defeating Tyler. He scrapes his enemy off the canvas, and grabs his left arm to violently twist it behind his back in a hammerlock. Grinning with devilish delight, Simon then drives the opponent backward, smashing him into the corner, with all the impact and pain going directly to the twisted arm. Tyler puts forth a blood curdling scream that brings many a tear to the female audience members. Simon is less then sympathetic to TyBry's issues, and joyfully heaps on the punishment. With the hammerlock still attached, Si raises the whimpering child into the air. After three agonizing seconds pass, The Video Voyeur drives him down onto his back, crashing his entire weight onto the previously injured left arm. The situation further deteriorates for Tyler when Simon drops to the mat and drives a barrage of knees into the battered limb. Each strike generates a terrible shout of anguish from the Tremendous one, and a round of applause from The Enterprise. “Come on, Tyler!” Krista shouts, as Simon efforts a pinfall... ONE TWO But Tyler pops out of the pin, greatly pleasing his large fanbase. Grabbing hold of his highlighted hair, Simon leads Bryant upright and flings him into the black ropes. As his partner nears, Shayne leans out for a blind tag. His hand moves a bit too slowly, and misses his incoming ally, forcing Tyler into a one way collision course with Si's fist. Fortunately for fourteen year old girls everywhere, TyBry avoids the face caving move, by slicing through Singleton's chest with diving shoulder block! As Simon is left nursing his battered pectorals, the Houstontonians, or Houstoners, or whatever the hell they're called, celebrate Tyler's offense with a rousing round of applause. COACH What I want to know is where are the applause for financial success? Where are the cheers for managing your money to great wealth? That's what's sexy. Mutual funds is what the hood is checkin for. Moneymaker got 50 Cent lighting up his cell about NASDAQ, got Cam getting at Christian about diversifying his bonds. Corny ass west coast rappers like Snoop, Game, they down with COD. Mad homo if you ask me. COLE Not only did no one ask you, but no one even knows what you just said. Tyler increases the audience's joy by leaps and bounds, when he retreats to his corner and applies the tag with The Hollywood Bad Girl Alix Maria Spezia. The audience lets loose with a monstrous cheer for Alix's first appearance into the contest. Thankfully for Mackie their joy distracts them from noticing her own smile over Alix ,or more correctly, Alix and the skimpy little shorts that bless Mackie with a lovely view of half of her delectable tush. COLE Mackie may be more happy then the audience to see Alix, and that's really saying something! The fast paced action grinds to a halt when Ally and Simon agree to engage in an opening lockup. The two tussle with one another, neither seeming able to gain an upper hand until Singleton calls forth a gust of brute force and heaves Ally Cat into the ropes. The referee quickly moves in to call for a clean break. But before this can happen, Alix overtakes Simon, who's made the critical error of weakening his grip, and backs him off the rope. Although befuddled to have conceded the advantage, Simon's tenacity quickly recaptures it and he shoves The Hollywood Bad Girl into a near corner. With her buxom figure mashed against the sharp steel of the turnbuckle by his two hundred odd pounds, Spezia desperately searches for a key to freedom. Unfortunately her enemy is frantically searching for a way to dump her over the ropes, having his arms around her slender waist, and trying to elevate her with his broad shoulders. Buzzlefoxer implores the fighter's to give him some sort of clean break, but the two show no respect for authority, more determined to maim each other then listen to him. Simon steps a few inches back from Alix, deciding after all that he doesn't wish to dump her to the outside mats. Now his goal appears to be wiping her bubblegum pink lips off her face! He cruelly presses his fingers against her visage while still stabbing his shoulder into her bare stomach. Spezia's lone weapon against this dishonorable tactic is to open her mouth wide and violently clamp down on his index and middle finger with her pearly whites! A piercing roar of agony escapes from Singleton's lungs, as he pulls his bleeding fingers back from her iron grip. Silverman seizes on this moment to interject himself, before catty Alix's fangs reattempt their effort to tear Singleton's digits off. “Jesus christ, old man, this woman bit me!” Simon screams to the referee, his face burning with incredulous outrage. Ally plays innocent victim, putting on such an adorable face that it's nearly impossible for the referee to muster to necessary sternnesses to reprimand her. Thus he turns to Simon, and beseeches the native South Carolinian to settle down and ignore the cheap shot. Singleton is level-headed enough not to pursue further argument. “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” The competitors return to their familiar collar and elbow tie up position. Fortunately for Buzzlefoxer, who isn't certain he'll be able to again put out the flames they instigate, the hold remains bite free with Alix going into a pedestrian side headlock. Singleton attempts to worm his way out of her hold, but frustratingly finds that she merely stiffens the grip to keep him locked down. Unable to power out of her clutches, Simon resorts to pelting her in her exposed ribs with short but painful jabs. Spezia tries to hold firm in the face of these rapid fire punches, but in the end they prove lethal and damaging enough to achieve Simon's goal of eroding her grapple. Taking advantage of the fact that he no longer feels like he has a noose around his neck, Singleton places his hands on Alix's bare r back and gives her a push to the ropes. On her return, she lowers her head like some sort of raging bull through an Italian street. Rather then have her chocolate hair covered head smash into his testicles, Simon takes a wise action, and leap frogs her, figuring he can take her out with a clothesline on her next run of the ropes. However, there won't be another run of the ropes as Ally rolls underneath Simon's airborne legs. Singleton lands with nothing but the anti-Enterprise crowd in front of him, and a very dangerous opponent behind him! The culinary sensation laces her lovely legs around Simon's right leg, and before the tag team champion can even entertain the idea of formulating a counter his entire world turns beige as he's cruelly dropped face first to the mat. COLE That's one move the Video Voyeur has to hope wasn't captured on camera. Too bad Simon, it's being broadcasted to millions worldwide, and we thank you for joining us this evening. Simon, his aching head swimming, slowly gets on all fours still unsure over what just hit him. He's given a quick and highly annoying reminder as Ally Cat rear waistlocks him, then swings her five feet eight inches over to his side, pulling him onto his back in a pinning situation. However her tug on the sarcastic one may have to be too tight as she ends up yanking Simon over onto his stomach before even getting a single one count. Now resting across his back Alix thinks she still holds a strong advantage, and doesn't feel much of a need to press the fight. This momentarily lapse in competitive drive permits a grounded Simon to get a solid hold on her body and stand himself up with her draped over his shoulders in a fireman's carry position. Although stunned to now be slung over the Enterprise lackey's upper back, the bubbly covergirl composes herself in a timely fashion and uses her considerable agility to roll down his back, trying to suck him into a pinfall. Singleton is wise to this crafty trick, and bends his knees to maintain his leverage. Concluding that Double S isn't going to go down no matter how much she may like, the California hottie scoops herself up and heads to the ring cables. Upon her return she flicks her arm out and slashes her palm across his face with a vile open hand slap! Simon's neck snaps backwards, sending his jeri curled hair flinging about the air. The stringed strands are joined by a wad of spit, as the crowd reacts with glee over his misery. “YOU GOT BITCH SLAPPED! YOU GOT BITCH SLAPPED!” Simon, obviously, is less then delighted and asks Alix, “Who the hell do you think you are?” To which Alix responds by doing her best R.Kelly impression and singing “Don't ask me what my name is. Stupid bitch I'm famous!” SLAP! The fierce shot flings the six man tag champ backwards, and he splatters onto the mat with dynamic impact. “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” As Simon's vision swims into a blurred chaos, Alix drapes her arm across his chest for a pinfall.. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Thankfully, Double S kicks out, meaning he will not endure the humiliation of being the first person to ever be pinned by a bitch slap. Sick of being made a fool of, Simon quickly rolls to his corner to tag in a man who's entire life is nothing but constant embarrassment, The Natural Christian Wright. CW enters the bout along with a heaping of boos and taunts. However Wright has a silver lining in this hateful cloud, and that's a man in his mid forties wearing a homemade Christian Wright t-shirt. Why homemade, because as stupid as the oaoast merchandising department is (see: the Ned Blanchard burka), they aren't stupid enough to make a Christian Wright t-shirt. Though the gentlemen is yammering on his cellphone, Wright feels a pressing need to call out to his fan. His only fan. “Salutations, dear chap!” Wright greets him. The man puts down his phone and says, “Fuck you! My wife’s at home going down on the pool boy, because she's pissed I came to see you wrestle on her birthday! You’ve ruined my family, you've ruined thirty years of faithful marriage! I hope you die!” The man complains before breaking down in tears. Christian has little time to grouse about the loss of his lone follower, as his thoughts are occupied with the task of combating Ally. He springs towards her with an extended elbow, but the sex kitten nixes this move by slicing her furry footwear into his stomach. The shot doubles The Natural over and leaves him wheezing with labored breathes,. Wright's ex-number one fan starts up once more, “Do you hear that sound, Christian? That's the sound of my wife getting tag teamed by the cable guy and the mailman, while I pay four hundred dollars to watch you get your ass kicked by a one hundred twenty pound woman. Fuck you!” Sympathetic to the man's plight the fans target Wright with chants of “JESUS HATES YOU! JESUS HATES YOU!” The macabre theater of CW's life continues with Alix snatching him into a front underhook. While Christian embarrassingly struggles to break the grip of a woman he outweighs by over a hundred pounds, Alix tilts her head to Mackenzie. With inviting brown eyes fluttering, she seductively traces her tongue across her sultry lips. It's a gesture that would melt panties and part legs at The Palms Lesbian bar on Santa Monica, but here in Houston, Mackenzie maintains enough of her composure to feign indifference and hide her obvious sapphic lust. Poor Wright gets no such gesture and is instead double armed DDT into the canvas. A pin quickly follows.... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! Wright scrapes his shoulder off the canvas, which thrills absolutely no one. Despite his agonizing headache, The Natural springs to his feet amazingly quickly. Unfortunately he can offer no offensive attack as Alix launches him into the cables. As he runs the ropes, she breaks out some cute Saturday Night Fever disco moves. Halfway through his return, he turns his body into a Brooks Brothers clothed twister with a spinning back hand blow. But when his whirling frame turns to face Ally Cat, she leaps into his beefy chest and pummels him with an inverted lung blower. The tremendous blow rips the breath out of Wright's body and flings his deflated carcass over onto the canvas. Ally screams to the audience, “Show face Byrdgang! Red rag burnin till da world stop turnin.” Though the audience (and Alix herself) has no idea what that sentence even means they still sing, “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” Despite having nineteen thousand people chant her name, Alix moonwalks to her corner where she brings in the equally popular Krista Isaodra Duncan. The Texans almost literally tear the roof off the arena with gargantuan cheers for the queen of thigh shaping, abs flattening, and BUTT sculpting exercise videos. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Krista's gaze is quickly caught by the ice cold Jade Rodez who's standing with an expression of haunting vacancy. Her typically black heart reaches out to her former protege, but unfortunately her rival reaches out with his arm and clobbers her down with a diving lariat. Wright moves quickly to capitalize on his first bit of good fortune. He leads Krista to her feet by her sun streaked hair, then coils his arms around her slender waist. From there Wright arches backwards planting Miss California into the canvas with a bridged German Suplex. Yet before Buzzlefoxer can even count the pin, Shayne Brave darts into the battleground to end the fall with kick to Wright's ribs. “YEAAAAA!” As Krista gets to her feet, Wright swings his elbow into her back. Her spine already damaged from the suplex, the blonde bombshell feels a jolt of pain rip across her back as she's thrown against the ropes. CW raises his fist and charges yet again. But Krista catches Wright's forearm across her arm, and in one fluid motion, bends him backwards to strike him against her outstretched knee. The blow generates a thud so sonorous that Krista can feel her teeth vibrating in response. Steeling her trembling body, the blond sex kitten angles Wright back upright. She performs a back flip onto her stomach, forcing a hollering Christian to go airborne with her. The Natural is deposited into a forward roll, brutally landing on his back at the hands of Everybody hates Kris (back flip rock bottom). The ring ripples beneath the monumental impact of Krista and her mangled adversary, and Alix and D*LUX clap excitedly for her moment of victory. ”KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Never one to miss a chance to tone her beautifully sculpted body, even if it conflicts with a major pay per view, Krissy begins doing pushups in the center of the ring. Sadly, Wright can't use her moment of exercise to catch his breath, as her hand is wrapped around his neck, choking the life out of him, while using him as a spot at the same time. COACH She..she can't do that! COLE I don't see why not she's the queen of an international fitness empire. It's her job to do that. COACH By that logic someone needs to make her queen of the strip club down the street! Holla! Through with her workout routine, Krista grabs a thick clump of Wright's dark hair, and uses it to pull him to a standing position. However, she's given a terrible fright as Wright's fist hurtles through the sky straight at her. The split second she has to react isn't nearly enough time, and the strike slams into her ample chest sending her into the ropes. Wright seizes on the opportunity Krista's vulnerability has presented. He angrily brings a fist around and slugs her in the side of the head, then hits her again, and then a third time. As a result of the brutal pounding, the exhausted tag champ teeters sideways, heading to the floor. But Wright keeps her upright with a firm clamp of her arm. He then whips her into the ropes. But the Hollywood sex kitten recovers enough of her strength to reverse the move and sends The Natural scuttling into the cables. The elasticity of the ropes returns Wright directly into the path of a KID elbow. BAM! The jagged strike cuts across the moral superior's face. BAM! BAM! Two more blows slice through Wright's face, mangling his skin like it was tender meat. As CW is riddled dazed by the torrent of blows, Krista removes a compact mirror from her slinky top, and revels in the glory of her angelic beauty. Finally she plants a tender kiss on her gorgeous reflection, then tosses it over the ropes into the overly eager hands of Mackenzie DeCenzo. Mackie flips the compact mirror open to see the words Call me! 310-550-4899 scrawled in lipstick above the kiss print on the glass. She begins to smile, but catches herself when she realizes her “love that dare not speak it's name” is being watched and recorded by a world of millions. COACH That is dyke bait! And you need to complain about that type of harassment! If Ned tossed a matchbook to Maggie Nerdly you'd be going ape shit, Cole. COLE That's because Ned is a misogynist, a sexual deviant, a racist, a homophobe, a delusional psychopath, a pathological lair, a narcissist, and a deadbeat dad, not to mention that he's old enough to be Maggie's father. While Wright exerts a grand effort to stand , his archenemy carts herself to ropes. But instead of running back like normal, she once again takes an opportunity to belittle her oft-humiliated opponent. She grooves across the floor with a spicy salsa dance, her curvaceous hips seducing the crowd into a spellbound arousal. Her hands flick at her flirty skirt to tempt them with teasing views of the lace panties that scarcely cover her lean tight ass. Faced with the sexy exhibition, Wright makes certain to cover his “harry n' the hendersons” so he doesn't suffer an unfortunate Anglemania “trouser tent” redux. Unfortunately this leaves his face open to the knee strike she slams across his nose! While the audience cheers her signature move, she sticks her platform heel onto Wright's chest, and pins him with the following famous pose... COLE She's got a little Captain in her! COACH Along with some Miller Lite, some Bud ice, some King Cobra, some Tequila and some vodka. Buzzlefoxer counts the “Captain's” pin.. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO But, Wright shoots his shoulder off the mat, earning applause and cheers from his stablemates. Krista decides she's had enough of flogging the OAOAST's official whipping boy for one night, and moves to her corner to bring Shayne into the bout. In an odd (for pro wrestling at least) act of politeness Shayne profusely thanks Krista for the tag. Once the overblown pleasantries are done with, Shayne grabs onto Wright's eighty five dollar slacks and pulls him to his feet. He terrorizes the financial guru with a chop to the chest that propels CW into a neutral corner. Wright has little time to lick his wounds, however, as Showtime quickly flings him into the opposite corner. He trails The Natural's path, seeking to flatten the man with an avalanche. But such a plan is rendered impossible when Wright attaches his hands onto the ring ropes and uses them as a base to fling himself over his incoming foe. The crowd favorite puts on the brakes before his flesh can be mangled by the steel ring ropes. He then whips around and brings up his arm to fire a left cross. But he doesn't get the shot off; Christian's sparkling dress shoe slams into his face with a superkick, rocketing him into the ring posts! “BOOOOO!” Both competitors stagger away from the corner, Shayne hampered by the searing pain in his face, and Wright crippled by exhaustion. It's Wright's tired state that permits ShayBray (more cute nicknames!) to go on offensive despite the superkick he just endured. He leaps onto the second rope then launches his one hundred eighty two pounds at his beleaguered rival. But the Washington DC native recovers midway through Shayne's descent and slams a dropkick into the boy's thin chest. The over priced shoes slam into his Shayne's flesh, sending him tumbling literally head over heels and into the canvas bellow! COLE If you're a D*LUX fan, and I'm sure many of you at home are you can't be pleased with that sight. Wright removes Shayne from the canvas and throws him into the ring ropes. When Showtime returns, CW abruptly angles his leg forward, slamming his foot at Shayne in one rapid motion. Brave barley manages to yank his head clear. As he ducks past he feels a slight tug on his hair, the shoe catching onto the sandy blond strands, but better ripped hair then a shattered face. Moving past Wright, Shayne bounces off the opposite ropes, and surges back to him with a lariat. But Wright defeats the fast moving strike, by catching Shayne's body horizontally in his arms. Fully in control of his foe, The Natural suddenly rotates backwards and dives down with a fierce powerslam. The referee counts the resulting pinfall.... ONE TWO But Shayne pulls his shoulder off the mat gaining a delightful wave of joy from the audience. COLE Although I'm loathe to do such a thing, I must give Christian Wright credit. He has spent the majority of the match in the ring for his team and is still managing to string together some impressive offensive efforts. Showtime springs to his feet and peppers CW with surprise right hands, earning huge cheers from the sold out crowd as a result. Wright is stunned by the resurgent nature of his advesary. Yet his surprise doesn't hinder him from returning the strikes, which he does with deathly force. Shayne's head is violently jolted from side to side, and it appears his entire body may capsize under the weight of Wright's strikes…but then he amazingly leaps forward and slashes Wright with a forearm! As the crowd’s cheering increases ten fold, the gutsy cruiserweight and the despised moral superior furiously hammer each other with colossal death blows. However it's not long before CW gains the upper hand in the bout. He scores big with a devastating left-right combination that stuns the boybander and nearly knocks him off his tennis shoes. Before Brave can tumble into a pain induced chasm, CW grabs his arm and whips him across the ring. ShayBray collides with a neutral corner's turnbuckle with disturbing force, the breath all but sucked out of him. He stumbles away from the posts, seeking a tag with mates who seem to be miles away. Wishing to capitalize on Showtime's current state, Wright suddenly breaks into a sprint and charges directly at the heartthrob. As Wright approaches Shayne, he lashes out with a murderous arm, aiming it directly at the child's head. POW!! The shot connects with pinpoint accuracy, and the ground under Brave's feet explodes away as he's sent flying away as a result of the deadly strike. He land on the mat, a fractured heap of busted bones and blood soaked pain. Behind him lies twenty thousand people chanting his name, but it's not enough to will him upright, and CW lies across his figure for a pin. ONE TWO Shayne gets a shoulder up with the ref’s hand mere centimeters from the mat. A disgusted Wright tosses Brave's body aside aside and begins to climb to his feet. Though the finance wizard would love to further assert his dominance over Shayne, his mortal exhaustion restrains him from such an action and requires him to place a tag to The Enterprise's heavy hitter, Christopher Patrick Allen. COLE The prostate is found by placing a well-lubricated finger inside the anus. Once you feel the sensation of pushing against a walnut-sized lump, you have reached the prostate. The only person not to exert a single speck of energy within this contest, Allen is quite eager to proclaim his superiority over his far smaller rivals. He drags Shayne's limp figure off the canvas, then deposits it into the ring ropes. Surprisingly, the teen idol experiences a brief recovery on his return, and swings his body across CPA's backside for a crucifix pin. But the beast remains upright, staunchly refusing to be felled by the plucky high flyer. In a white hot fury, Shayne lashes out with his fists, pummeling the muscular neck of his opponent. The two of them, locked in a violent struggle, make their way to the ring's edge. Shayne's trashing grows wilder, and his punches turn more crazed by the second. More annoyed then hurt by torrent of strikes, Allen muscles the youngster onto his broad shoulders. From there Brave is twirled like a helicopter, and his one hundred eighty pounds are impaled across the top ring ropes. The cables strike him hard and shred his midsection before dumping him onto the apron. On the outside Jade looks non plussed by her former charge's incredible suffering. “The Enterprise, ladies and gentlemen! The Enterprise!” Makcenzie merrily shouts. “LET'S GO SHAYNE! LET'S GO SHAYNE! Dazed and bewildered, Shayne uses the the support of the crowd to motivate him to his feet. But when he rises, he's immobilized by the unbreakable grip of CPA's front face lock. Brave's left hand latches onto the bottom rope in defense, but this does nothing to prevent the brawler from dragging him into the sky. Showcasing his studly victim to the wrathful crowd, Allen ventures back towards the center of the ring. Unfortunately his moment to taunt the Texans has not come without peril; Shayne has regained a bit of his strength and uses it to slide his body free of the troublesome monster. He lands on his feet and instantly coils his hands around Allen's neck. Before CPA even comprehends that Shayne is not within his grasp, his neck is being spiked off the canvas with a crowd thrilling neck breaker! “Come on, big country! Get up!” Simon screams his encouragement. Shayne spots Alix leaning over the ropes, and yearning for a tag. Thrilled to have a chance to rest his haggard bones, he eagerly tags in the bouncy brunette. Alix vaults over the ropes, extending her eye catching legs into a slingshot dropkick. Her boots hit at full speed, cutting across CPA's chest and floating wads of white fur into the air. CPA remains upright but bounds back with as much force as he was hit with. In spite of all this, his punching left arm quickly cuts through the slow rain of fuzz Alix's boots left behind. The Hollywood Bad Girl reacts with supernatural speed, and lets his arm land across her's to set up of the True Life: I Just Got Beat up by a Girl(STO). But CPA will let no such move occur, and shoves Alix to the ropes. Unfortunately for him, Ally uses her new position to her advantage, and leaps onto the third rope only to spring off it seconds later. CPA lurches forward assuming he can simply swat her from the air. The proves to be an erroneous thought on his part, as Alix crooks her arm across his head, then dives downwards, driving his balding head into the canvas with the Sucker Free DDT. CPA emits a terrible roar that sounds something like a gathering tornado as the crowd bleats Alix's name. ALIX! ALIX! “Psh! I could do this blindfolded!” Alix's brags. “Be my guest, sweetie.” Krista responds coyly, holding up a blindfold. “Aah! Maybe not today. Heh-heh.” Hoping to make everyone forget about her moment of cowardice, The Hollywood Bad Girl zips towards the ropes. Rather then run back, as would be the custom, she does a graceful cartwheel, and extends her billion dollar body out when she nears her rival. She collides into him with a body splash, making a move to hook his leg for a pinfall the second she lands. Clem drops to his arthritic knees to count the pin. CROWD ONE Allen kicks out, using his impressive strength to toss lightweight Alix off of him. Being flung halfway across the ring by an ex convict doesn't seem to deter our heroine, and she blindly charges the six man champ. However, he greets her charge with a knee to the gut that subdues her enormous spirit and puts her totally under his control. The musclebound brute then manhandles her into a neutral corner, where he obliterates her with an army of perfectly placed elbow strikes to her busty chest. The debt collector leaves her a coughing and wheezing mess in the corner and backs up towards the center of the ring. He builds up a head of steam, before dashing towards her with a corner avalanche. Unluckily for her plastic surgeon's bank account, Ally avoids the implants busting move, by diving out of the way at the last possible second. Instead of a mound of silicone, it's CPA's brawny upper body that's besmeared across the rock hard turnbuckles. Alix isn't much for sympathy, and piles on the misery by grabbing a chunk of his nappy (no racist!!!) hair and savagely ramming his face into the top post. The bubbly babe, gleefully invites the audience to count along with each one of her savage strikes. “ONE!” “TWO!” “THREE!” “FOUR!” “FIVE!” “SIX!” “SEVEN!” “EIGHT!” “NINE!” “TEN!” WRIGHT By the gods, someone get him out of there! SINGLETON Why don't you get him out of there? WRIGHT ........ SINGLETON .......... “ELEVEN!” “TWELVE!” “THIRTEEN!” “FOURTEEN!” “FIFTEEN.”..... ”SWEET SIXTEEN!” COLE That move is called My Super Sweet Sixteen! The series is neither super, nor sweet for CPA, who can scarcely recollect his own name, where he's from, or what he's doing here. He wobbles out of the corner, seeing doubles of everyone in the bout, and can hardly stand on his own two feet. Fortunately he doesn't have to do that last part for very long, as the perky diva takes him to the mat with a simple leg sweep. She delays dumping more gloom onto CPA's landscape long enough to lean over the ropes and flip a loving kiss to Mackie. Keenly aware that the cameras and eyes of millions are on her, DeCenzo catches it and cruelly slams it into the ground. What the camera (but not Alix) fails to notice is Mackenzie frantically diving onto the mats to scoop up the “kiss” and place into her shirt as though it were an irreplaceable jewel. Meanwhile, Alix returns to task at hand and drives the point of her bare knee onto the top of CPA's forehead. The once moaning bruiser goes silent the moment the strike connects, and his dark eyes turn vacant, leaving him open to a pinfall. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO The Handsome Hustler destroys the pinfall, earning himself a considerable amount of heel heat in the process. While the audience batters Neddy Bear with taunts and jeers, Alix refocuses herself on the task of defeating one third of six man champs. She watches CPA drag his carcass upright, then snags onto his thick arm to whip him towards a neutral corner. However, Allen reverses the basic hold, shifting his bodyweight, and using Alix's momentum against her to pull her into a short arm lariat. Miss Spezia topples to the canvas bellow, deeply injured by the awesome force of Allen's strike. She tries to rise to her feet, but the crippling power of the attack leaves her unable to do much more then weep soft cries of pain. Her slender body does begin to move, however, but it's only due to the fact that Allen is dragging her towards his team. He makes the tag to Ned Blanchard, wrestling's hunkiest deadbeat dad this side of Jake Roberts. Aside from one or two horny old women in the nosebleeds, the audience is none to happy to see the detested heel enter the warzone and they aren't shy about expressing their displeasure. Their hatred draws Ned's ire, and the frustration leads him to flash the one finger salute. The crowd responds in kind with chants of “POODLE DOODLE! POODLE DOODLE!” Confused Ned turns to Simon and wonders, “What's that mean?” Embarrassed by the actual meaning, Simon has to whisper it into Ned's ear. The state definition quickly saps the color from Ned's face, and forces smoke to pour from every pore in his body. “You people are disgusting!” he laments, a horrible mental image etching it's way into the permanent storage of his corrupted mind. COACH Ned Blanchard is absolutely right, the OAOAST attracts some of the worst, most degenerate creeps in America to it's show! COLE Probably because we have one of the worst, most degenerate creeps sitting at our announce table. COACH Don't be so hard on yourself, dawg. Ned's spirits are quickly lifted when he realizes that he's in the ring with a smoldering Latina beauty. Unfortunately those spirits quickly plummet when that same beauty begins shredding his skin with elbow strikes. The damage of the rapid strikes forces Ned to beat a hasty retreat , and he takes off for the ropes. When he returns he attempts to go on the offensive by shredding through Ally Cat with a spear. But Alix uses her gymnast level agility to leap over his approaching body, and the Handsome Hustler continues to run the ropes. His second rebound is far more painful then the previous one; Alix horsewhips her flashy footwear into his face with a crowd popping dropsault. While The Hollywood Bad Girl lands perfectly on her feet Ned is thunderclapped into the mat bellow, the impact of his two hundred forty pounds shaking the ring to it's very core. “FIRE BLANCHARD! FIRE BLANCHARD!” the audience sends their message to the oaoast brass. Ignoring the fans' calls for his termination, Ned gathers his weary bones off the canvas. He has little interest in being on the receiving of any more aerial assaults, thus his sleazy mind concocts a scheme that will play to Alix's vanity, preserve his safety, and allow him to spit game on the Hispanic honey. An imaginary camera phone emerges from an imaginary pocket in his tights, and with puppy dog eyes, Blanchard implores Ally to cease the violence and strike a few cute poses. While Alix may not be the sharpest knife in anyone's drawer, she's at least smart enough not to fall for Neddy Bear's lecherous schemes. Growling with exaggerated anger, she violently shreds the camera phone from Ned's fingertips. Nervous, he begs retreat as sweat oozes from beneath the thinning hair on his head. But Alix will afford him no clemency, and she knocks him out by smashing the phone into his forehead! Blanchard falls to the canvas, left a delirious mess by the blistering torment of Alix's phone attack. “Ahh my head! Sweet lordie, my head! I can't see! I'm blind! I'm concussed! You witch! You've destroyed my career!” Ned laments. “Uh, Ned?” Simon begins. “That was an imaginary phone. Remember?” “Oh yeah.” Strangely unembarrassed by his gross idiocy, Ned leaps to his feet to continue the brawl with Alix. However, neither competitor is much for the basic fisticuffs and they both take off to opposite ends of the ring. When they hit the ropes, their respective partners, Krista and Simon slap their backs for a blind tag. They bound back towards each other, Ned's arm extended, Alix's knee raised, flicking out their weapons to skewer one another. But each superstar misses their target, and instead they sail towards the waiting treachery of their foe's partner. As Alix and Ned near the danger zone, Simon and Krista gleefully launch their bodies over the top rope, wiping their enemies out cross body blocks! Both grousing in anguish, Ned and Alix roll out of the battle field, leaving their allies to wage the war they've begun. Simon strikes first and strikes hard, winging left hooks into Krista's cheek. Miss California can barely block the wild attacks, and they jostle her into a neutral corner. COLE Simon not really known as a brawler, but if he wants to hurt you with his fists, he's not going to have much trouble doing it. For a few brief seconds Simon stands in the center of the ring, pointing towards Krista, his slow Southern drawl informing the fans of what agony he's about to strike her with. But Simon's seconds of arrogance are all Krista needs to recover her strength and when he charges in, he's greeted by an elbow slamming into his mouth. He's involuntarily shoved backwards, gasping, hand covering his swollen lips. While Singleton remains under a state of duress, she elevates her platformed heels to the second turnbuckle. Problematically it's takes quite a bit of time to properly position the cumbersome heels, and by the time she's on balance, Double S has regained all his strength. He grabs onto her luscious golden hair and bends her backwards, trapping her into a tree of woe position. The audience and Mackenzie seem delighted with her position, as her skirt falls down allowing them a full view of her skimpy black panties and the creamy thighs they frame. Having, spent thirty dollars on them, Krista is well aware of what her underwear looks like. Thus she's not as enamored with her predicament, and attempts to stage an escape. Unfortunately all escape routes are blockaded by the gold and black clad Video Voyeur, who's positioned himself above her on the second rope. Simon takes a moment to run a comedy routine with Krista, “Hey, Krista, what are you doing here? She replies, “Oh, nothing, just hanging around.” GROAN Out of an arena of twenty thousand the only person laughing at that terrible attempt at humor is Simon Singleton. Unfortunately his asinine chortling costs him dearly, as it allows Krista to bridge upwards, and hurl him back with what amounts to an inverted powerbomb! His body viciously bounces off the canvas, but the noise of his cracking bones is overshadowed by the enormous roar of the sold out Toyota Center KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA! Leaving Simon a jumbled mismash of sweat and misery, Miss California travels to her corner and allows Tyler Bryant to put himself back into the contest. Once again the youngster from Detroit is quite grateful for the tag and heaps mounds of gratitude upon a flattered Miss Krista. “WE LOVE TYLER! WE LOVE TYLER! WE LOVE TYLER!” every heterosexual woman under the age of twenty five chants. Stricken with jealously Ned screams, “The Neddy Bear needs his lovin to!” “WE LOVE NED! WE LOVE NED!” chants every homosexual man over the age of eighty five. “I to desire amorous affections!” Wright proclaims. “EAT SHIT!” WRIGHT Once The Video Voyeur is on his feet, TyBry cracks him in the face with a stiff elbow, flinging Singleton backwards and into a neutral corner. Panting and wheezing, Double S slumps against the posts, but gets nary a second's rest as TyTy grabs him by the waist and hoists the three time tag champ into the air, setting him on the top rope. Bryant reaches up and delivers a savage right, lolling the man's head backwards and distracting him long enough to put his legs behind the top rope. Bryant quickly journeys to Simon's position, as the capacity crowd heads to it's feet, singing in anticipation for Tyler's upcoming brand of punishment. Mindful to keep both men’s balance, Bryant stands Double S, and pulls him into a front waistlock. But before the teen idol can even begin his super belly to belly suplex Double S suddenly shoots his elbow forward, spiking it into his nose! Bryant is stunned by the attack, but is further shocked when Singleton throws his fist and into his ripped abs! Ty's grip around his rival's waist weakens to the point of nearly being relinquished. Snarling with maniac savagery, Simon rears back and pops Tyler in the face with an uppercut, that not only destroys the boybander's hold but knocks him backwards and off of the top turnbuckle! The entire ring shakes violently as two hundred pounds of teenage sex appeal crash back-first into the canvas. The disappointed fans can't help but boo as they were all but certain Tyler's move would be the beginning of the end for The Enterprise. On the outside Mackenzie claps proudly Simon's counter, but Jade doesn't seem overly interested by any of proceedings. COLE A super belly to belly isn't a move we often see from Tyler, and it looks like we'll have to go a little longer without witnessing it. Double S peers down on Tyler with that same brutish scowl decorated on his face. Fixing his gaze away from Tyler, Simon turns towards the hateful audience. As twenty thousand Texans boo and jeer in disgust for the Video Voyeur, he offers them a condescending salute, his snarl morphing into a portrait of self satisfaction. Simon then turns back towards TyBry and springs off of the top rope, with arm out stretched and elbow crooked! Thousands of flashbulbs illuminate Simon's descent, the cameras they belong to capturing him forever as he explodes onto stone solid the mat, Tyler having rolled out of the way just a split-second beforehand! Mere moments after crashing into the canvas, Simon bellows in pain and cradles his busted arm. To his left, Tyler lies flat on his back, his chest heaving and his heart racing. Stomaching his awful pain, Tyler rolls towards Double S and pulls him onto his back in a modified pin that earns a grand pop from the audience! The ref slides into position and begins counting as TyTy lays across his foe's body... CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Simon gets a shoulder up right before the three count. Muttering to himself, an irritated Tyler Bryant rolls off his rival, and begins to slowly journey upright. Once he's standing he retreats to his team's position, where he applies a tag to Showtime Shayne Brave. “WE LOVE SHAYNE! WE LOVE SHAYNE” the women chant, and fortunately Ned and Christian have the good sense to keep their mouthes shut. Showtime grabs Double S by his greasy mullet and harshly yanks him upright. Brave then takes hold of Simon's arm and uses his grip to whip the man across the ring. As Double S returns, the pop star flicks out his leg in a twirling back kick! Wrought with panic, Simon skids to a halt, and comically tosses his arm up, blocking the oncoming strike only centimeters from his sweat soaked face! Deeply annoyed by the huge pain that goes with blocking a speeding bullet with your arm, Double S pumps his knee into ShayBray's midsection! Caught by a dull pain, Shayne doubles over, allowing his nettled foe to trap him with a front facelock. Simon then grabs a fistful of Shyane's cargo pants, locking him further in place. He immediately pulls Brave into the sky, then dives backwards, driving the hearthrob's skull into the canvas with an Implant DDT. A river of crestfallen boos cascades from the audience as Shayne flops to the mat, virtually motionless. For some reason Simon determines that this is a key moment in wrestling history, and captures it on his imaginary video camera, rolling the footage as though it was a Pulitzer prize winning news story. COACH You have to love the way The Enterprise has really brought out the personality in Simon Singleton! COLE I liked him better when he was silent, boring and hid behind Jim Cornette. Double S takes hold of Shayne's flowing blond hair, and leads him to his corner. With Brave trapped by the arms of CPA, Singleton makes the tag with Christian Wright. Wright's arrival into the bout is damned with an unholy amount of heel heat from the thousands of fans who would like nothing better but to watch his skull be ground into dust. Unfortunately for them that is a fantasy that will remain unfulfilled as The Natural enters the bout with a straight left to Brave's face. But the boybander shrugs away the blow and drives a forearm into Wright's chest. The strike staggers CW back a few inches and leaves him stunned for a precious few seconds. These moments are all Brave needs to underhook his opponent's near arm, and far hip. Before Wright can even contemplate what terrible fate is soon to befall him, Shayne arches backwards, snapping his victim over with an explosion suplex and forcing him to land on his head in a most repulsive manner. While Wright makes a futile effort to remember just what city he's in, Brave lays his arm across his chest for a pin attempt. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO But Wright lifts his shoulder off the mat, effectively quieting much of the audience. Undeterred, Shayne gets back to his feet, only to hit the mat once again when he extends his elbow and falls forward, driving the extended appendage directly into his rival's collarbone. Shay grabs CW's arm before standing up, pulling the man along with him. Shayne then begins to Irish whip CW before suddenly tugging him back towards him and lashing his knee out, looking to land a short arm knee lift! However, to Brave's infinite surprise, Christian manages to whirl away from the oncoming blow and land behind Brave. The Natural is quick to trap his opponent in place with a rear waist lock. Before Shayne can even present an escape attempt, Wright lifts him into the air and falls backwards for a bridged German Suplex! However, the back of Tyler's neck bounces off the top rope on the way down. Displaying keen ring skills, Wright uses the springboard effect to keep his adversary in mid-air as he twists around. After what seems like an eternity Wright finally falls onto his back, slamming the back of Brave's head and neck into the canvas as he does so. A wave of annoyed boos pours in from the crowd as Shayne flops onto his belly, virtually motionless. The crowd grows even more hostile when Christian tags Ned Blanchard into the affair. Blanchard sits on the apron for a moment, taking time to adjust his golden hair so that it will be in pristine condition when he lays a picturesque beating on Brave. Eventually, the grappler saunters into squared circle, while a weakened Shayne stirs on the canvas. Smirking with detestable arrogance, Ned coldly observes that Shayne has begun working his way to his feet. Upon eying this, The Handsome Hustler springs off of the ropes and takes a few lunging steps towards Brave, doing so just as Shayne is reaching his hands and knees. The moment Shayne looks up is the very instant that Blanchard hops into the air and kicks his feet out, slamming them into his skull with a 90210 Enziguri!! The fans utter a concerned groan and a heaping of outraged jeers as Brave slumps back into the canvas. After offering a thumbs up to Jade, Blanchard crawls over to Brave and turns him onto his back, before covering him for a crucial pinfall. The ref slides into position and begins counting.. ONE TWO But Brave triumphantly thrusts his shoulder off the mat! The crowd roars with merriment, and Ned loudly laments the failure to acquire the winning count. Forgetting his annoyance for the moment, he grabs the teen idol and drags him up by his wispy hair, then slashes his knee into his gut. Brave lurches over, grimacing as he clenches his midsection. Thanks to Brave's wounded state, Ned effortlessly hauls his opponent onto his broad shoulders in a fireman’s carry. The crowd is brought to the edge of their seats, their angered voices lashing out against the hated heel. “If you wanna boo The Handsome Hustler, I'll give ya something to boo about!” He hollers. He then flips Showtime out, causing the fan favorite to plummet downwards. However, Ned also sinks to one knee, and lets the back of Brave's skull collide with the bone, generating a disgusting thud and driving the audience mad with rage. COACH A fireman's carry neck breaker from the Ned Man! Ned drops down to pin his vanquished enemy. He grabs Brave's leg and leans back on it, firmly pressing the boybander's shoulder’s to the mat as old man Buzzlefoxer begins the count.... NED ONE! NED TWO! NED THREE While Ned may have achieved a three count in his mind, reality is a far different story. Shayne kicked out of the pinfall, mere nanoseconds before Clem's hand slammed the canvas. While the spectators are delirious with glee, Blanchard is delirious with outrage. He allots his opposer little time to recover his strength, angrily dragging the poor boy upright to administer further punishment. Imagine Ned's surprise when Shayne surges forward with a bout of energy to capture him with a roll up! Buzzlefoxer counts as Shayne pushes on the pin with every ounce of his might! CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE But CPA darts into the ring and breaks apart the fall with a swift strike of his boot. The crowd is less then enamored with his meddling, and drub him with a plethora of jeers. COLE So close! Ned scrambles to the edge of the ring, face contorted with a humiliated rage over having been nearly outsmarted by a teenager. Unfortunately for Ned his anger grows considerably worse, when that same teenager stalks him across the ring and latches onto him with a rear waistlock. However Ned is quick to rid himself of Brave's bothersome clutches, fragmentizing his orbital bone with an elbow strike. Brave pours out whines of misery as he stumbles to the side and clutches his ringing head. Ned quickly yanks the arm way from Shayne's face in order to thunder his open fist straight into Showtime's head with a vile palm strike! COACH Let's see how much they love Shayne when he's got a broken nose! Ned launches Shayne into the cables. Upon Brave's return, the Handsome Hustler dips low, then raises his body up to propel his victim into the skies with a backbody drop. Brave thuds to the ground a few feet behind Blanchard. But the crackling of the boy's bones is all the signal Ned needs to tell him his revolting hold has had the desired effect. Blanchard lazily struts to his fallen foe, then lifts him into a standing head scissors. He crosses his arms under his beefy chest and then lifts him up so that he hangs horizontal to the mat. With the fans steady in their stream of hatred for him, Neddy Bear sits out and drops him back first to the canvas with a pyramid driver! Buzzlefoxer counts the resulting pinfall... ONE TWO But Brave powers out, generating euphoric cheers from the audience! Neddy Bear is relentless, however, and once again takes hold of the outside leg for a pin.... ONE TWO Showtime shoots his shoulder off the mat, prompting the crowd to salute his heart and resiliency. Ned, however, is far less impressed with his toughness and punishes Showtime for his vigor with savage stomps. The kicks meet an abrupt end, however, when Ned's brutish mind concocts an even more lethal way to erase Shayne from existence. He charges off the far ropes, approaching Brave with arm outstretched for a larait. But Shayne evades the possible decapitation by ducking his body and using it as a launching pad to rocket The Handsome Hustler over the top rope! Somehow Ned manages to land with his feet on the apron. Yet the joy quickly ends there for The Enterprise as Shayne flips backwards to strike Ned down with a pele kick! ”YEAAAAA!” scream the fans as Mackenzie and the rest of the party are distraught with panic. Gaining strength from the support shown by fans and soon by his allies, Shayne exerts a great effort to battle through the massive pain he's been put through. He rolls onto his stomach and grits his teeth as he prepares to undertake the task of journeying to his corner. With each moment the exhaustion grows remarkably stronger, but with each moment he also gets an inch closer to freedom. The entire audience is on their feet, boisterously rallying Brave as he continues the tedious quest. Thanks to their kindness and support, Brave is able to remain strong and defiant, and finally nears his corner. The Texans are not shy about expressing their desires for Shayne's tag, bleating, “WE WANT KRISTA! WE WANT KRISTA!” And their cheers shake the Toyota Center to its foundation the second the tag is made with Miss California. KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA! NED COLE Where the hell is he going? The answer to that question would be, not very far, as Miss California plows through him with a spring board lariat! Sadly, there's no time to gloat over the vanquishing of her most hated enemy, as his wingman, Simon Singleton rushes into the squared circle to rescue him from a violent thrashing. A primal smile taking over her beautiful features, Krista crouches, looking as if she were ready to spear Simon. Much to his surprise and dismay, she suddenly goes airborne heading straight up like a missile. Simon moves to follow, but his stocky legs quickly pull him back to earth. He can only shriek in horror as Krista descends upon him, landing squarely on his chest with a Lou Thez Press! There's a deafening snap and Simon let's out repeated cries of anguish as Miss California pumps closed fist into his noggin. “Cut! Cut! Cut!” Simon screams beneath the unending torrent of punches. Elsewhere in the ring, Christopher Patrick Allen suddenly darts off the ropes for no apparent reason the audience can see. But then the reason quickly becomes evident as giant nears Krista and attempts to use his massive frame to flatten her with a bodysplash. However, the fitness queen senses him at the last second and barley avoids meeting the grizzly fate he intends for her. Simon isn't so lucky, however, and his skeleton brutally implodes underneath the weight of the enormous monster. ”YEAAAAA!” More annoyed with his failure then the fact that he may have killed Simon, CPA rises like a monster from the abyss, ready to use his raw punching power to annihilate Krista. But Tyler Bryant saves Krissy from her harrowing doom by angeling a dropkick into the shoulder of Allen. While the strike pulls CPA away from Krista, it fails to do any measurable damage or even knock the man off his feet. Faced with the raging brute, the pairing does the only wise thing, and gets him as far away as humanly possible with an Irish whip. CPA returns with both his tattooed arms aimed directly for the heads of his vexing rivals. But the teenyboppin duo counteracts his attack by taking to the skies and plastering his face with twin spinning wheel kicks! Pounded back and forth by Krissy's high heels and Ty's tennis shoes, CPA's busted body slams into the ground. He lays there trying his damnedest to will himself to his feet. Thankfully, his recovery is made less then urgent, when his Enterprise mate Christian Wright asserts himself into the fracas. COLE The 2005 rookie of the year, storming into the ring! As Krista turns around to see what all the fuss is about, the cause of said commotion runs up behind her , and bulldogs her out of the contest. As Kris lies on the mat, feeling like every bone in her upper body has been broken, her enemy towers above her, extolling the virtues of chastity, clean living, and heterosexuality to a not-so receptive audience. But Wright's time to preach has left him exposed to any manner of ravaging moves, and it's Tyler Bryant who takes advantage of his vulnerability. The boy bander attaches himself to CW's shoulders, and strains with herculean effort to pull him down with a hurricanrana. However, CW counters the aerial hold by latching onto Bryant's pants leg and dumping his frame into a lethal Boston Crab. “He's tapping! He's tapping!” Mackenzie screams. No, he's not, and nor will he ever, as Ally Cat saves the day by driving Wright away with the True Life: I just got beat up by a girl (STO). The snooty superstar is flung off his enemy and topples backwards as if he was just thrown from speeding truck. ALIX Believing Alix to be distracted by her Lita Ford impression, Ned suspects that he can cop a feel on the hard rocking lovely. But Alix is wise to Ned's pervy tricks, and whirls around to defeat his deviant plan with an MMA inspired left high kick that knocks him off his feet. She then turns her attention back towards Wright, who's trying to make a much needed escape. Alix kiboshes his attempt by grabbing onto his arm and Irish whipping him into the corner. However he shifts his bodyweight and reverses the hold, causing her to endure the back first crunch into the steel turnbuckles. CW takes advantage of her moment of weakness by charging forward to pulverize her with a body splash. But the only thing that gets pulverized in this exchange is his pectoral muscles as The Hollywood Bad Girl dives out of the way, leaving him to violently smash into the posts. Ally's wise counter barely has a second to register in the fans' minds before they witness Ned's horny hands eagerly moving to attach themselves to her big ol booty. But Krista rescues Alix from America's favorite sexual predator, by slicing her long tan legs across his neck with a scissors kick! The audience discharges a boisterous pop in response to Krista' interference. C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D! Once the girls are finished celebrating, Alix situates herself into Krista's arms. Krissy wisely thinks twice about asking Alix if she's gained weight lately, and instead flips her over, causing her to tumble onto Ned's chest with an assisted corkscrew moonsault! As a moaning Ned reels underneath the blow, Buzzlefoxer counts the ensuing pinfall... CROWD ONE CROWD TWO! But the pinfall is broken up by Simon Singleton, and the crowd goes livid with rage. Singleton celebrates his incredibly minor victory by arrogantly pounding his scrawny chest. But that's a celebration that may have came a bit prematurely, for Miss California rains on his parade, by driving him into the canvas with a tornado reverse ddt! COLE Easy come, easy go for Simon Singleton. Krista hasn't a single moment to rejoice in her dismissal of Double S, as Wright renters the fray. He stampedes towards Krista seeking to decimate her with a shoulder block. Unfortunately no such action will occur tonight, as just as quickly as he reappeared, so does he disappear. Krista dodges his attack, grabs onto the top ropes, and pulls them down to dump Wright from the match! “WRIGHT SUCKS! WRIGHT SUCKS!” Unfortunately where Wright failed, CPA succeeds, ridding the ring of Krista's presence with a murderous lariat! “BOOOOOOO!” Thankfully, Allen can do no further damage to his foe, as Tyler Bryant missile dropkicks him over the top ropes! Somehow, CPA succeeds in landing on his feet, suffering no damage aside from a bruised ego. However, he's given more serious worries as the teen idol descends upon him top rope flying forearm! Allen swerves hard to left, and Tyler misses his foe by an annoying three inches. But those three inches are enough to stagger him off balance, and allow CPA to club him down with a violent forearm. Meanwhile in the ring, Ned Blanchard is looking to wipe out what remains of Bryant with a top rope body splash. But he encounters frustrating results, thanks to meddling from Alix Spezia. The Hollywood Bad Girl darts up the top rope, as the observers holler with blood lust for Ned's grizzly end. Alix certainly doesn't disappoint their cries for carnage, as her fur coated boot obliterates his skull with a top rope enziguri! ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!! After witnessing Ned's downfall, Simon returns to the action to inflict brutal retribution upon Alix. But his advance is intercepted by Shayne Brave who chops the Video Voyeur down with a flying clothesline! Amazingly Simon springs right back to his feet, but it's only to be handed more punishment as he's driven into the ring floor with a double arm DDT. “YEAAAAA!” Theodore's henchmen sprawls out on the canvas unable to anything to subdue the recharged boybander. Thankfully he's spared further physical torment, as Shayne has to focus on the approaching Christopher Patrick Allen. CPA draws near, arm cocked for an elbow strike. But Shayne puts the attack on permanent delay with with the Shaynedrop (Snapmare Driver/Fall Forward Diamond Cutter/Patty has no idea what that looks like!)! The Texans are maniacal with rapture over the unexpected appearance of Shayne's finishing hold, and can hardly contain themselves as he goes for the pinfall. CROWD ONE!! Wright leaps into the ring to break up the pin! CROWD TWO!! But Krista dives on him! CROWD THREE!! The exact second Buzzlefoxer's wrinkled hand hits the mat for a third time the arena explodes with enormous unrestrained cheers! BUFFER The winners of this contest, D*LUX and America's Sweethearts, Chicks Over Dicks! COLE We thought Shayne was done, but he comes back to win the fight! Way to go kid! The Enterprise is left fractured and disorganized by the stunning defeat. Ned grabs Jade by the hand and quickly leads the disinterested girl up the ramp, so that she'll not have to witness the celebration of her former friends. Christian and Mackenzie hang by the ring apron, trying to dole out blame for the awful failure. Singleton seems to be the only one with any concern for CPA, who can't fathom how he lost to a scrawny twenty year old. The face team is obviously delighted with their results and exchange high fives and hugs. Krista seems to be the focus of most of the kind words, as the D*LUX boys go out of their way to compliment her for her efforts. Alix, sadly is resigned to reminiscing over past episodes of Leave it to Beaver with Clem Buzzlefoxer. COACH I don't know how but The Enterprise has gone down zero to one tonight! We can only hope that Mister Moneymaker will be able to even the score against that scumbag pornographer, Leon Rodez! COLE Who is we? I hope Leon kicks his BUTT! And folks that match will be coming up in just a few moments.

“Heart-Shaped Box” hits and the crowd ERUPTS, rising in unison as the Heavenly Rockers rush onto the stage. Holly whisked ringside by her husband Logan Mann, leaving Synth to bang his head and high-five fans. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, the GREATEST rock 'n' wrestling band of AAAAALLLL-time! Accompanied by their manager HOLLY-WOOD, hailing from Sin City, the former OAOAST tag team champions of the world...THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!! “YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Synth returns the love shown to him and Logan by pointing at each section in the arena. Mann completely oblivious to all and everything around him, including Holly, so focused on the match is he. COLE To say Logan is a man -- pardon the pun -- possessed would be an understatement. He’s been waiting for the chance to get his hands on Rico de Janeiro ever since the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew’s inappropriate behavior in front of his wife Holly. COACH Rico is a newbie, Cole. How was he supposed to know that was Logan’s wife? COLE What?! Are you kidding me?! They’re one of the most high profile celebrity couples in the world! COACH Who my sources say are experiencing marital woes, which shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone considering Logan is obviously still playing the field, probably with Melody Nerdly. But who am I to judge? Holly is just looking for a good time. And you couldn’t find a better person to do it with than Rico de Janeiro. COLE (gasps) How dare you’d spew such lies to a worldwide television audience?! Based on your remarks there’s no doubt in my mind or the fans mind your source is none other than Rico de Janeiro. I wouldn’t trust a word that comes out of that man’s mouth. On behalf of the OAOAST I’d like to apologize to the Mann and Nerdly family for those appalling comments. Easy lover She'll get a hold on you believe it Like no other Before you know it you'll be on your knees Oozing machismo and holding the silverware, the sleaze ball tag team of “Sweet” Lucius Soul and Rico de Janeiro are pelted with boos on their way to the ring, Phil Collins’ vocals booming overhead. BUFFER And their opponents, total combined weight 410 pounds, the HI-YAH World tag team champions...RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL...THE MARDI GRAS HOOOOMMEWRECKING CREW! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Lucius struts onto the apron and inside the squared circle. Rico, however, pauses on the steel steps to stroke his ‘stache as he admires Holly from a distance. All hell breaks loose the second Rico reaches for one of his beads, as Logan gives chase and Synth goes to town on Lucius! COACH Lucius didn’t even have time to remove his coat, Cole. Defend that? * DINGDINGDING * COLE Logan’s snapped. I can’t believe Rico had the nerve to go to his beads. Like Holly would agree to flash him. COACH Well, she did sleep with Ned Blanchard behind Logan’s back long ago. Not exactly a woman of high character is Holly-Wood. COLE Sweetness is hammered against the ropes and fired off, elevated high above on the rebound and down courtesy of a back body drop. The agony on Soul’s face is self-explanatory. He returns to his feet clutching his lower back, but the Synthmeister has little sympathy, connecting on a dropkick and a clothesline that knocks Lucius outside. There, Logan finally catches up with Rico, but the King of Mardi Gras is able to slip out of his Hawaiian shirt and roll inside. “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” The crowd reacts as de Janeiro realizes he’s caught between a rock and a hard place, or the Heavenly Rockers to be exact. Rico picks his poison in Synth, who ducks a right and atomic drops the Brazilian heartthrob into an AXE BOMB from Logan! COACH Fortunately for Rico, Mikey, the atomic drop caused his sunglasses to fall off, or it could’ve gotten ugly in a real hurry. I’m sure women around the world breathed a sigh of relief. In a first for de Janeiro someone other than a woman mounts on top of him, and it’s his face that pays the price thanks to a series of left hands. Brought up by the beads around his neck, Rico is shot into the corner and decked by a hard back elbow to the sternum. He rolls out to the floor as “Sweet” Lucius Soul makes his presence felt again, but a WICKED LEFT HOOK takes care of him. COLE The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew are on the ropes early. How fortunate are they that this isn’t a title match? COACH Moot point. As stated by the Crew last week, the Heavenly Rockers aren’t even in contention for a title shot. Besides, Synth and Logan said they didn’t care if it was title or non-title. COLE The Heavenly Rockers might not be in line for a HI-YAH tag title match, but one team in line for a shot are the Lone Star Gunslingers. You know they’re keeping a close eye on this one. Right on cue, a small box appears on the upper hand right corner of the screen to show the Gunslingers and Melody huddled backstage around a monitor. Look closely and you’ll see newly assigned OAOAST road agent Tony Brannigan in the background. COLE And there you see them. The Gunslingers said they’d be here to watch the Heavenly Rockers backs and they are; returning the favor from a few weeks ago. Logan heads to the top and drops a double axe handle onto Rico below. The King of the Mardi Gras can barely stand as he’s brought to his feet and slammed face-first into the timekeeper’s table, and then the steel steps! Mann STRANGLES de Janeiro with his own BEADS before swinging him back in by the neck. Rico pleads on his knees for mercy, but Logan has none of that, SPITING in de Janeiro’s face! “YYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” Full of rage, Logan kicks Rico in the chest and tries to GOUGE his eyes out! COLE Oh, the humanity. Or lack thereof. Numerous attempts to get Logan to break the hold go unsuccessful, forcing referee Brian Hebner to physically interject himself, giving Rico de Janeiro the opening he needs to deliver a crippling LOW BLOW. “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” Doubled over in a world of hurt, there’s little Logan can do to prevent the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew from making the tag, and “Sweet” Lucius Soul from executing a BUTTERFLY BACKBREAKER! COACH Welcome to Nawlins, son. Heh. ONE… TWO… But only two, as Synth stomps Lucius in the back of the head to breakup the pin. Soul follows a scoop and a slam with some strutting and ‘fro combing to the corner. Once atop the turnbuckles he checks his ‘fro one last time and flies… COLE Swan Dive head BUTT! …BUT NOBODY’S HOME! “YYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” A good news/bad news situation for the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. The good news is Soul’s afro protected his head. The bad news is, Logan rolls to his corner and makes the tag! Whether it’s the rush of adrenaline or the speed he’s on, the Synthmeister comes in a house afire, snapping Lucius over with a swinging neck breaker and then dropkicking an incoming Rico de Janeiro. Perched on the second turnbuckle Synth drops a BIG ELBOW on Soul and covers! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Full arm drag and twist, and the Heavenly Rockers make a tag. Logan Mann off the top with a double axe handle onto the outstretched arm of Lucius Soul. A well placed knee to the midsection frees Lucius from an arm wringer. He whips Logan into the ropes but misses a roundhouse kick, as Logan ducks under and decks Rico on the apron! If at first you don’t succeed try, try again is Soul’s motto. Having whiffed on the roundhouse, he’s able to extract a measure of revenge by catching Logan on the way around with a beautiful spin wheel kick. But the blow causes Mann to fall out by Rico. Unaware of who lurks behind him de Janeiro walks right into a stinging left hand from Logan! COLE Look at Rico staggering around. It’s like he spent an entire night partying down in Bourbon Street. Logan is fast to react, placing Rico in front of him, as Lucius dives through the ropes and accidentally wipes out his own buddy with a SUICIDE DIVE! Mann returns inside only to throw himself back out and onto “Sweet” Luicus with a PESCADO! COACH He’s just showboating now, Cole. Quite frankly, it’s disgusting. If I wanted to see that I’d just go back to my other gig. Feeding off the energy of the crowd Logan decides to give an encore performance. He ascends to the heavens and leaps with his patented move, a double axe handle smash…but Rico catches him in midair and RAMS LOGAN INTO THE RINGPOST!! COACH Oh, that’s karma. That is karma! Lucius gets right in Logan’s grimacing face and asks, “Does it hurt? Does it hurt?” SOUL Mann is shoved back in and a tag is made. Rico de Janeiro returns to action, stroking his porno ‘stache as he loves to do, clubbing Logan across the shoulder blades before muscling him up in the BODY LOCK! “LO-GAN!” “LO-GAN!” “LO-GAN!” COLE Synth and Holly encouraging the crowd to get behind Logan, wrapped in that body vice or Canadian backbreaker to some. COACH It’s the Body Lock. And somewhere Jesse Ventura is smiling. Remember, Logan had his ribs crushed into the ring post earlier, and the butterfly backbreaker before that. His ribs have got to be screaming right about now. Rico thrusts his pelvis Holly’s way, baiting Synth inside, which distracts the referee from seeing Lucius enter and hammer Logan in the face. Trapped in no man’s land Logan’s only chance to escape is by repeatedly drilling his elbow onto the crown of de Janeiro’s head. The strategy works as Rico can only sustain so many blows to the head, enabling Logan to float over…into a big time clothesline from the King of Mardi Gras! So pleased with his actions Rico takes a bow and caresses his hairy chest, doing so while smacking his lips together at Holly. COACH She winked at him, Cole! COLE She did not. COACH I saw her. Holly wants some of that Brazilian hard candy. COLE Brazilian, wha-- never mind. Perfectly executed gut wrench suplex flattens Logan. Needless to say, the official isn’t too pleased when Rico goes for the pin and lifts Mann’s off the mat before a count can be made. “RICO SUCKS!” “RICO SUCKS!” “RICO SUCKS!” Momentarily flustered by the chant, the man from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil goes on about his business, shooting Logan off to the far side and plants a RUNNING HIGH KNEE that would make Harley Race proud right in the kisser. Rico fondles his moustache as he measures Logan for the PORNO ‘STACHE LEGDROP! COLE He got all of that. It may be over right here. ONE… TWO… * OOF * “YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Rico is rolled onto his back following a SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK by Synth. He and Lucius go at it until the referee intervenes. As Synth is escorted to his corner, the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew capitalize on the situation with a SPIKE PILEDRIVER on Logan! COACH Synth has the referee distracted! COLE What are you talking about? The Homewrecking Crew are the ones who benefited from it. Soul and de Janeiro scream at Brian Hebner to turn around. He finally spots the cover and counts. ONE… TWO… THREE! NO!! RICO COLE So, Coach, what were you saying earlier about karma? COACH Shut the… Coach’s mic is cut off as Rico mounts on top and pins both of Logan’s hands to the mat. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Looking to add a little something extra to wear Logan down, Rico leaps in the air in hopes of dropping all his weight down on Mann’s stomach…but Logan wraps him around in a body scissors! Unlike most people in this situation Rico doesn’t panic. The strongman is able to break Logan’s grip and hook both legs under his arms. That’s all “Sweet” Lucius Soul needs to see. He literally leaps into action, jumping over the top rope as he swings onto the middle turnbuckle inside and blasts Logan with a BICYCLE KICK as Rico SLINGSHOTS him towards the corner! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” COLE My goodness, we almost had a decapitation on live pay-per-view television. COACH Now those are educated feet. ONE… TWO… THR -- NO!! Synth yanks Lucius away. Naturally upset, Soul avoids confrontation and places Logan in a reverse chinlock. Given the non-stop action throughout the match, the competitors deserve a rest break. But all Logan needs is 10 seconds. He rises to his feet and falls to the seat of his pants, smashing his head into the jaw of “Sweet” Lucius! Too weak to attempt a pin Logan starts inching towards his corner. His wife, best friend and thousands more behind him in his quest for a tag. Two men who don’t support his efforts are the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. Having shaken off the cobwebs, Soul is able to tag Rico, who charges across the ring and knocks Synth off the apron, dragging Logan back towards the Crew’s side of the squared circle. An old school big elbow finds its mark and the cover is made. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Unable to score the pin Rico digs into his bag of power moves, whipping Logan to the ropes for a power slam…but Mann slips over the top and nails a desperation DDT!!! “YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” COLE Percussion DDT! He got it, but can he make the cover? COACH That’s the least of his worries right now. Tagging in the fresh man has to be top priority. He’s been in there too long. “LO-GAN!” “LO-GAN!” “LO-GAN!” The Heavenly Rockers lead vocalist crawls to the wrong corner. Slumped against the turnbuckles he notices Rico has reached his side and has made the tag, causing him to dive towards the right corner…but Lucius manages to grab a foot. Logan hobbles up on one leg and swings wildly at Soul’s head, not even coming close to making contact. SOUL Whatchu gonna do, sucka? Huh? Whatchu gonna do? ENZURIGI KICK, that’s what! COLE Logan kicked Lucius so hard it flipped him onto his back! Dare I say that’s a little payback from earlier? “YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Third time’s the charm for Logan, as he’s finally able to make the tag. The crowd EXPLODES as Synth comes in firing, decking both Soul and de Janeiro. He slams them both in succession and then sends Lucius into the direction of Rico, causing the two to collide. Synth spins Lucius around and hits a hangman’s neck breaker as Rico falls out to the floor! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Synth lowers the shoulder after whipping Soul into the ropes, but Sweetness telegraphs it and leapfrogs the Synthmeister on his way to spring boarding off the middle rope and back at Synth, hooking the head for a SWINGING DDT…but it’s blocked and countered into a FISHERMAN’S SUPLEX! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO!! SAVE BY RICO! Logan returns to the fold, dropping Rico with one punch. But a head BUTT to the gut stops Logan in his tracks, allowing Rico to toss him out through the ropes. Just when it seems the Homewrecking Crew will have a 2 on 1 advantage, Rico is clotheslined over the top. There to greet him…Logan Mann, who shoves the King of Mardi Gras into the ring post near the timekeeper’s table! COLE That takes care of one problem. Now… Oh, no, don’t tell me. Are we going to see it? The fans rise as Logan heads to the top, Lucius tucked between Synth’s thighs. Synth delivers the SIT-OUT POWERBOMB as Logan connects on the FLYING LEGDROP! COLE Electric Melody! How long has it been since we’ve seen that? Before the referee can count he orders Logan out of the ring. Having spent his last bit of energy on the leg drop, Logan struggles to accommodate. He reaches to Holly for assistance, asking her to help pull him onto the apron. To ensure no foul play is involved the referee keeps a watchful eye on the two. But it’s the other side he should be watching, as Rico climbs onto the second turnbuckle, his fist wrapped in a countless number of BEADS, and drills Synth in the back of the neck! COLE Why that no good, slimy son of a… Rico drapes Lucius on top and exits, placing the beads inside his tights to create the world‘s largest boner! With Logan now on the apron the referee goes to count. ONE… TWO… THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners, the team of RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL...THE MARDI GRAS HOOOOMMEWRECKING CREW! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Holly throws her arms in the air in disbelief, stepping inside to get some answers from the referee. The crowd cheers as MELODY NERDLY arrives on the scene to inform young Brian Hebner what happened, pointing to Rico’s crotch. Rico denies any wrongdoing, claiming he’s just happy to see Melody, but Hebner doesn’t buy it. He reaches in and pulls the beads out of Rico’s tights, then waves the pin off! “YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH He can’t do that! COLE Yes, he can. He’s the referee. COLE So are we going to start reversing the outcome of the Super Bowl? I’m sure a lot of people in Chicago would love to go back and take away points the Colts scored because Rex Grossman isn’t an efficient quarterback. After conversing with the official ring announcer Michael Buffer reads the following announcement: BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, if I may have your attention please. Due to the use of an illegal object, the referee has REVERSED his decision. Therefore, the winners of the match as result of a disqualification…THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!! “YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” CUE: “Heart-Shaped Box” The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew push Hebner to the ground and attack Synth and Logan out of frustration. Rico gives Logan a MOUSTACHE RIDE while Lucuis puts Synth down with FRO 2 SLEEP! * DINGDINGDINGDINGDING * COLE Come on, there’s no need for this. Soul and de Janeiro spot Holly and Melody in the corner and nod, as if to say “one for me, one for you.” Holly positions herself in front of Melody to protect her. The strong independent woman that she is, Holly is ready to take both men on (!). COLE Oh, no. We need help out here. We need help out here now! Cole’s prayers are answered as the LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS hit the ring and the Homewrecking Crew with fists and bionic elbows! “YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH What are they doing here? COLE Living up to their word. All right! The Homewreckers RAKE the eyes and whip the Gunslingers into the ropes, but Jock and Baron duck a pair of clotheslines and connect with a couple LARIATS! Soul and de Janeiro roll outside as officials and agents swarm the area. Lucius screaming at the guys to "Watch the 'fro, bro." They’re handed their HI-YAH tag titles and escorted backstage. COLE Get these clowns out of here. COACH Yeah. Instead of worrying about Rico and Lucius, let’s get the Gunslingers out of the ring first. COLE I’m talking about the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew, not the Lone Star Gunslingers. “Heart-Shaped Box” is cued again as Jock and Baron help the Heavenly Rockers up to a rousing ovation. The Texans raising the hands of the winners, although they might not look it. Logan wraps his arm around Holly’s neck and points at the Gunslingers, his way of thanking them. High-fives are exchanged as are smiles, at least from Melody since that really isn’t Holly’s thing. COACH What a terrific foursome they are. The Lone Star Gunslingers said they’d be here to watch the Heavenly Rockers backs and they were. Perhaps lost in the aftermath was the great match we just saw, Coach. COACH The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew score the 1-2-3, yet they lose by disqualification. One of the biggest miscarriages of justice I have ever witnessed, but a heck of a match. The OAOAST EventTracker is brought to you by Gillette. The best a man can get. May 31- Tupelo, Mississippi (SOLD OUT) June 7- Birmingham, Alabama (SOLD OUT) June 14- Memphis, Tennessee (SOLD OUT) June 21- Cleveland, Ohio June 24 (The Great Angle Bash) - Washington, D.C. (SOLD OUT) NOW AVAILABLE ON DVD Anglemania Five. Premier Edition Relive the epic battles of Drek Stone Vs Zack Malibu, Leon Rodez Vs Todd Cortez, The Enterprise Vs Chicks Over Dicks, Thunderkid Vs Alfdogg and more. Follow Dance Dance Dragon has he prepares for his title match against Tha Puerto Rican. Go behind the scenes in the choreography of The Chicks Over Dicks entrance video, including interviews with Nelly Furtado, Krista, Alix, and Avril Lavigne. Find out from Logan Mann and Synth Esizer what it's like to compete in a Sin City Street Fight. Join Leon Rodez on his roads back to Anglemania and OAOAST competition. And get Dan Black's exclusive thoughts on his last match in the OAOAST. All this on the.... Anglemania Five. Premier Edition DVD

seeing that's it like 8:30 if you bang pacific, or 11:30 if you bang east (no respect to central or mountain, suk a dik get the fuk outta here) and I have about one match out of the five, I have to say the show will come up tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there'll be show. just thinking about tomorrow clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow, till there's none. when I'm stuck with a day thats grey and lonely I just stick up my chin and grin and say the show'll come out tomorrow so ya gotta hang on till tomorrow.

I observe poignantly and say I enjoyed this program.

Fixed!

CREDITS JC KC 149 PRL Z.MALIBU A.DOGG P.O'GREEN

THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD The thumping beats of Party Like a Rockstar make their way into the speakers of Television sets world wide. Above the audio racket lies the current introductory video, which features the various main players of our ongoing melodrama. Each character is shown in a closeup with their name placed on the lower left side of the screen in crystallized orange letters. When the video concludes we're greeted by the logo... FEMALE VOICE OVER And now, courtesy of Budweiser Select, The OAOAST, and The American Airlines Center it is time for HeldDOWN! No need for the opening preamble from the announcers this week as the all too familiar sound of "Getting Away With Murder" welcomes us to HeldDOWN~!, as the fans filling the seats in the arena rejoice upon the arrival of the OAOAST's favorite son. COLE Welcome to Dallas, Texas, fans! And here he comes...the number one contender, and the man that many feel should be the World Champion already! Zack Malibu heads down the aisle, slapping hands with some fans while keeping his normal focused demeanor. Clad in street clothes, it's obvious Malibu is not out here to fight, but that he has something to say. Three guesses as to whom the target of his wrath will be. He hops onto the apron and enters the ring, catching the mic thrown to him by Michael Buffer, and prepares to address the crowd. MALIBU We are just three days away, people. Three days away from Drek Stone's worst nightmare. Three days away from the harsh reality that I am going to END YOU, Drek! Malibu wastes no time in getting INTENSE~! with his promo, and the crowd loves every second of it. MALIBU By now, they all know the history, Drek. These people know what you've done. They've seen you, week after week for the last two years, try to do something you can't do, and that is bring this company to its knees! You tried to rally the troops, but when your Civil War plot cracked under the weight of too many egos, you high tailed it out of here as fast as you could, trying to free yourself of the blame! You pinned my shoulders to the mat for a three count at Angleslam 2005, and then what? You pulled a disappearing act, keeping yourself satisfied with that one win. You lucked out last year, because had it not been for my bringing in The Wildcards and everything that ensued, you'd have been gone a LONG time ago. The past year, your title reign, EVERYTHING, has been on borrowed time, Drek. When you finally got what you wanted...the OAOAST World Title, you never wanted it for anything other than a PROP. Something to use in your war against me, and this company. You didn't treat it as a title, as a championship, as a legacy...you treated it as a toy, as an AFTERTHOUGHT! COACH He's right, he did! I seen it! MALIBU You are not a champion, Drek. You don't have the heart for it. You're out for the same thing you've been out for since day one, and that is YOURSELF. You have no respect for me, for that locker room, for these fans...you have NO RESPECT FOR THE COMPANY THAT MADE YOU! What were you before the OAOAST, Drek? You were NOTHING! No one had ever heard of Drek Stone, and now the only way you keep your name in lights is through controversy! You have held this company...MY COMPANY...hostage long enough. You have avoided responsibility and retribution time and time and time again and I AM GOING TO PUT AN END TO IT! I swear on all that is holy, on the blood, sweat and tears of myself and everyone from the locker room to the camera crew to the caters who have put their sould into this company that I am TAKING IT BACK ON SUNDAY NIGHT! I am taking back the OAOAST World Championship. I am going to restore the honor and glory and prestige that was once bestowed upon it. I am going to take the sixteen pounds of gold out of the hands of the one man who did it wrong. There are guys in the back there, guys like Scotty Static and Johnny Jax, Jamie O'Hara...even guys like Landon Maddix, Tha Puerto Rican, guys I don't necessarily get along with, that would KILL to be given the opportunities you've had. They would KILL for that World Title, and while we're here week after week, busting our asses and stepping over each other to try and get to the top of the mountain, you're sitting pretty without a care in the world, blaming US for your actions! A court case? A GOD DAMN COURT CASE? You took us to court instead of fighting it out like a man, Drek. You think that makes you smart? IT MAKES YOU A COWARD! You want to be treated a certain way, then FIGHT FOR IT! You say that we're biased against you? That it's an unsafe working enviroment? You are DAMN RIGHT on that count, because I don't give a damn what your lawyers or my lawyers say...I...HATE...YOU. Everyone in this company HATES you, Drek. They hate what you've tried to do. Now, the only Civil War you've managed to accomplish is us against you. All of us, Drek...guys like me and Leon Rodez and The Hooligans and The Lightning Crew and Christian Wright...everyone, all the way down the line, are against you. We're against what you are, what you stand for, and what you've done. They're all ready to take you on, to take you out, and to sit on top of the world as a champion. As the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. Because while I'm going to walk out of School's Out with that belt around my waist once again, if you think this is about just a title, you're mistaken. This is about our LIVES. This is what we do. I hate you enough on my own, Drek...but how can you withstand a company united, bonded by one common feeling, and that is the absolute disgust and disdain for YOU? You're not OAOAST. You never were. After School's Out, Drek, the only thing you're going to be...is history. Malibu, simmering with rage, drops the mic and glares into the hard camera before walking off, receiving a huge pop for his comments towards the World Champion. Zack hops out of the ring and powerwalks back up the aisle, his feelings clear for Drek Stone, as we fade to commercial. COMING UP NEXT ***24/7 Title**** Jacob Cross Vs The Cuban Wall NEXT We return from commercial break focused on the announce team. COLE Up next we have the newcomer Jacob Cross taking on Cuban Wall for the 24/7 Title. COACH How did he get a title shot so quickly?? COLE I guess the OAOAST board liked what they saw. COACH Yeah well earlier today Cuban Wall didn't like what he saw. COLE What my colleague here is talking about is an incident backstage that we are going to show you right now. COACH Wow...you actually consider me a colleague?? COLE Just roll the footage. (EARLIER TODAY) Jacob Cross sits at a table backstage playing poker with the road crew. Jacob studies his cards for a few seconds before throwing down his bet. JACOB You sure you want to keep going Paul? I've already got most of your money. PAUL Hey I'm just getting warmed up. Jacob smirks and reveals his hand, which raises groans from all around the table. JACOB What can I say...I'm having a string of good luck. Suddenly a shadow appears over the table as the camera pans right to show a man standing over Jacob with the 24/7 title around his waist. BOOOOOOOOO!!!!! CUBAN WALL Who do you think you are?? JACOB Well I think I'm a lot of things. Some of which are, a good card player, a good looking man, and a damn good wrestler if I do say so myself. CUBAN WALL You've had one match here and you think you deserve a shot at my title!? JACOB Hey I can't help it that the higher ups around here think I'm the next big thing. CUBAN WALL You haven't done a damn thing to impress me boy! All you do is sit around and drink beer and play cards! You better hope that lucky streak you were talking about holds out if this is how you prepare for a match with me!! JACOB Gambling clears my mind. I would ask what clears yours, but something tells me it's already an empty slate. Wall suddenly grabs the edge of the card table and sends it flying. Cards, chips, and beers scatter all over the floor as everybody except Jacob makes a run for it. Jacob remains in his chair with his arms folded as Wall gets in his face. CUBAN WALL You better hope to God that you're ready or I will make a fool out of you in that ring! Wall knocks Jacob's hat off and walks away looking pissed. Jacob slowly reaches down and grabs his hat before standing and placing it back on his head. He then looks in the direction Wall left and smirks to himself. JACOB Oh I'm ready my friend. Don't you worry about me. Jacob then walks away as we fade out. (WE CUT BACK LIVE TO COLE AND COACH) COLE It looks like Jacob is making friends already. COACH Well can you blame Wall for being angry? He's facing a man who hasn't been around long. Wall doesn't know much about this guy! COLE Are you trying to say that Wall isn't ready for this match. COACH No I'm trying to say that there is an unfair advantage. COLE Well from looking at Jacob's match last week I would say these two have similar styles. So what does Wall have to worry about? COACH You know what, Wall can handle this chump so I'm not worried. COLE I would hope not. You're supposed to be an impartial commentator. The opening notes of “Wherever I May Roam” hit and the crowd is on their feet. COLE Here comes Jacob Cross and the fans are taking a liking to him so far. COACH Well of course. He's homeless, drunk, bully...half of this crowd probably sees him as the perfect role model! COLE Oh don't start with that again. Jacob Cross walks through the sliding doors as the song picks up the pace. He takes a second to look around the arena and take in the sight of the crowd. Jacob is sporting a brand new cowboy hat after what happened to the old one two weeks ago. He begins the walk to the ring and circles around one time to take in his surroundings. BUFFER This match is scheduled for one fall and is for the 24/7 Championship!!! Introducing first, from Wherever he may roam, weighing in at 225 pounds....”THE DRIFTER” JACOB...CROSS!!!!!! YEAHHHH!!!!!! COLE Cross is always aware of his surroundings. It's like he's planning his attack. COACH Or maybe he's scouring the crowd for a beer? COLE Oh for crying out loud! Jacob finally enters the ring through the ropes, with his hand on his hat to keep it from falling off. Once inside he takes off the hat and the necklace before handing them to a ring attendant. His music then dies out and is replaced by... LIGHTNING CREW!!!!!! BOOOOOOOOO!!!! “No Chance in Hell” by Bradley Royds begins to play and the fans are booing loudly as Cuban Wall's face appears on the angletron. Smoke fills the entrance way and Cuban Wall walks out of the sliding doors with his eyes on the ring. COLE He still looks pissed. COACH He needs to stay pissed and he needs to take all that out on Jacob Cross! BUFFER Introducing next. He is the reigning 24/7 champion...from Havana, Cuba, weighing in at 285 pounds...CUBAN...WALL!!!!!!! BOOOOOOOOO!!!! Wall punches the air a few times as he walks towards the ring, never taking his eyes off of Cross. He then ascends the steps and enters the ring before heading for the turnbuckles. He poses and makes the Lightning Crew salute to a chorus of boos. His eyes still do not leave Cross as he hops down and shadow boxes a little more. COLE Wall is burning a hole into Cross with that stare. COACH He wants him to know that he's in the big leagues now and not some backwater bar! The two men stare at each other as Buffer leaves the ring and the ref calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* Cross comes in for a lock up and ends up with a face full of right hand from Wall. Another right hand and another knock Cross back against the ropes. Wall than quickly grabs him by the arm and whips him across. As Cross comes back Wall hits a vicious shoulder block that sends Cross to the mat. COLE Wall is coming out aggressive against Cross! COACH He wants to teach him a lesson. I think Wall is insulted that some rookie got a title shot so quickly. Cross is up quick and Wall meets him with a right and a left hand. He then grabs him by the arm and pulls him towards him, but Cross ducks under Wall's arm and hits the ropes behind him. Cross then blasts Wall with a clothesline as he turns around, but Wall doesn't go down. Cross quickly follows up with a couple of forearms to the chest that knock Wall into the ropes where Cross whips him across the ring. Cross then nails a flying shoulder block that takes Wall off his feet and quickly goes for a cover. COLE Cross with the first cover. 1...no!!! COACH Wall is stunned! Cross sees Wall getting back up and meets him with a knee to the gut and a clubbing forearm to the back of the neck, followed by two more clubbing blows. He then pulls Wall back upright and whips him into the corner. Cross follows him in, but Wall springs right out of the corner on impact and almost decapitates Cross with a clothesline! COLE Oh wow!! COACH Welcome to the big time Jacob!! Wall makes a nonchalant cover. 1 No!!! COLE He's going to have to hook that leg! Cross is up shortly after Wall and Wall takes advantage by popping him with punches to the midsection. Cross manages to block a punch and fires off with his own taped fists. Cross stuns him with a punch to the face and quickly whips him into the ropes and goes for an Arn Anderson-like spinebuster, but Wall hooks Cross's head and shifts his weight so that Cross cannot take him over. Wall now has him hooked for a Double Arm DDT, but Cross goes dead weight on him and drops to his knees. COLE Both men use that move, so it's expected that both men know how to counter it. COACH Another unfair advantage! COLE How is that unfair!? Wall pulls with all his might to get Cross back into position, but Cross breaks his arms free and lifts Wall back up before nailing the Spinebuster and going for a cover. 1 2 No!! COLE Shades of Arn Anderson with that twisting spinebuster! COACH Yeah but unlike Anderson he didn't win the match with that move! Cross readies himself as Wall stands and quickly nails him with a STO before making another cover. 1 2 No!! COLE Cross is hitting him hard and fast. COACH Yeah but not hard enough or fast enough. Cross pulls Wall to his feet and pulls him into a shoulder block, but he doesn't let go of the arm. He pulls him again into a shoulder block and still holds onto the arm. A third time him pulls him in, but this time Wall blasts him in the side of the face with a forearm. Wall then quickly scoops him onto his shoulder and nails him with a Shoulderbreaker. Cross falls to the mat in pain and Wall begins laying the boots into the hurt shoulder. COLE Wall senses blood and that's not good for Cross. COACH Tear him apart! Wall then pulls Cross to his feet and rams him shoulder first into the corner. Before Cross can even turn completely around Wall sandwiches him in the corner with a hard Avalanche! COLE Cross wasn't turned all the way around. I think his shoulder took the brunt of that Avalanche! Cross looks hurt as Wall pulls him the arm on his hurt side and whips him hard across to the other corner. Cross stumbles out right into the arms of Wall, who lifts him with a double choke. COLE Could this be the Wallbreaker? Wall then shoves Cross hard into the corner turnbuckles again, making sure that Cross lands shoulder first! This time as Cross stumbles out Wall picks him up in the Fall Away Slam position. COACH This is all over. Jacob Cross is nothing but a short lived flash in the pan. COLE Don't count him out yet! Wall then slams Cross's shoulder into the turnbuckle and then carries him to the next corner. Wall drives him into the next turnbuckle and smiles to himself as he is in total control. He then slams him into the final two corners and nails a Powerslam to finish it off. COLE I don't know if Cross can kick out after that. 1 2 No!!! COACH This idiot is going to end his career right now if he doesn't just give up. Wall will make an example out of him! Wall then drops an elbow down onto Cross's hurt shoulder and quickly grabs the arm for an Armbar. He wrenches back hard and then turns it into a Hammerlock behind Jacob's back. Cross is obviously in pain, but he still fights to get his foot onto the nearby rope. COLE If he can just reach a little farther he can break the hold! COACH Now who is being partial!? COLE I was just stating a fact! Wall doesn't give him the opportunity as he pulls him up by the arm and scoops him into a body slam with the arm still bent behind his back. Cross lands hard on his arm and shoulder and winces in pain. COLE Wall is methodically taking away Jacob's arm so that he has the advantage in strength. COACH That's the mark of a real champion! Wall quickly goes for a cover. 1 2 No!!! COACH Cross is an idiot. His career may be young, but he's not. He can't risk it all for one match! COLE So are you saying he needs to just quit whenever things get rough? COACH No...just be a little smarter. Wall waits for Cross to stand and grabs him by the throat. He then goes for a big Choke Slam, but Cross breaks free as he's lifted off the ground. Cross lands back in front of him and kicks Wall hard in the gut. As Wall doubles over Cross goes for the Dead End (Double Arm DDT), but Wall pulls the same move Cross did earlier and drops to his knees. COACH What a smart move! COLE Gee I wonder where he got the idea. Instead of going for it again Cross lets go and blasts Wall in the face with a kick. Wall falls to the mat and Cross quickly goes to the second turnbuckle. COACH Oh what a cheap shot! Cross then comes off for a Second Rope Leg Drop, but Wall moves and Cross hits nothing but mat. Wall is up quick and waiting for Cross to stand. He then plants a kick to Cross's gut and goes for a Powerbomb. As Wall pulls him up Cross begins laying in the punches to Wall's head and Wall has no choice but to let him go. Cross lands on his feet and begins to unload with the punches. Lefts, Rights, jabs, hooks, after a flurry of punches that stun Wall he winds up and nails him with one last big one! COLE One for the Road!! COACH Yeah, but Wall didn't go down! Wall stumbles into the ropes and Cross meets him there to whip him across the ring. As he pulls him off the ropes he pulls him right into a Short Arm Clothesline. Wall falls down hard and Cross makes a cover. 1 2 No!! COLE Cross with a flurry of offense, but no three count! COACH Maybe he has some fight in him after all! Cross comes up shaking his arm out to get some feeling back and waits for Wall to stand. Cross wastes no time in hooking Wall for the Tumbleweed (Exploder Powerslam), but with his hurt shoulder Cross can't move quick enough. Wall punches his way out of the move and then lifts Cross onto his shoulder. He then goes for a Death Valley Driver, but Cross breaks loose and takes him over into a Crucifix Pin. 1 2 No!!! COLE What a counter! COACH Dammit...this Cross guy is for real. Both men are up around the same time and they lock up quickly. Wall overpowers him and drives him into the corner hard. He then backs up and goes for another Avalanche, but Cross catches him coming in and hits a Hot Shot right to the top turnbuckle! COLE Wall's head snapped back hard on that one!! COACH Damn!!! Wall falls to the mat and Cross goes for a cover. 1 2 3!! No!!! Wall kicks out at the last second! COLE I thought he had him! The fans let out a sigh as the ref puts up two fingers instead of three. Cross pulls Wall to his feet and right into a whip into the corner. He then follows right behind with a Clothesline that rocks Wall back against the turnbuckles. Wall falls into a sitting position in the corner and Jacob gets a smirk on his face. COLE He could be looking for that running knee to the face that he did two weeks ago. COACH That move shouldn't be allowed. He's gonna break someone's neck! Cross comes running in for the knee, but Wall gets a foot up and shoves Cross back...right into the ref. The ref is knocked off his feet and is stunned for the moment. Cross is momentarily stunned as well, which gives Wall the chance to get back to his feet. Wall goes for a Chokeslam on Cross, but he manages to break free and kick Wall in the gut. Cross then hooks him for the Tumbleweed. COLE This could be it!!! Wall hooks a leg around Cross's leg and blocks the move before Cross can lift him. Wall then shoves Cross back and nails him in the crotch with a punch. COLE What the hell!? Ref look up!! COACH Don't yell at the ref. That's not your job Cole!! Cross doubles over in pain and Wall grabs him for the Wallbreaker (Train Wreck). Wall lifts him up and plants him in the middle of the ring with the move. BOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Wall then yells at the ref to get his ass in gear before bouncing off the ropes and nailing Cross with the Lightning Crew Splash and making the cover. COLE Oh dammit not this way! 1 2 3!!! *DING DING DING* COACH Told ya Cross wasn't ready!! BUFFER Here's your winner...and still 24/7 champion!!!! CUBAN...WALL!!!!!!! BOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Wall demands his hand be raised as Buffer hands him the 24/7 title. He lifts it high into the air and then yells at Cross. WALL You're not wrestling in bars anymore!! Welcome to the OAOAST!! Wall then exits the ring quickly as he sees the look of fury on Jacob's face. COLE I think he just pissed off the wrong man. COACH Oh who cares...Wall won the match! Cuban Wall heads back up the ramp as the ref helps Jacob to his feet, but Cross shoves the ref away and exits the ring himself to collect his hat and necklace. COACH Now that's just disrespectful to the ref!! COLE Since when do you care about the refs? COACH It's the principal of the matter! Jacob leaves the ring still looking pissed as he places his hat on his head and stares at the sliding doors that close behind Cuban Wall. COLE We need to take a commercial break, but we'll be back after this. FEMALE VOICEOVER You are watching OAOAST HeldDOWN

The (TV) screen goes black, and the following appears on the screen. The following announcement was paid for by World Domination Wrestling. Soft music accompanied by wind instruments plays, and a spotlight slowly raises over an all black wrestling ring with red ring ropes. (voiceover) In the beginning, the land was pure. Even in the early morning light, you could see the beauty in the forms of nature. Head shot of Alfdogg looking off into the distance. Soon men and women of every color... Shot of an Asian man doing martial arts poses in the shadows. And shape... Shot of an overweight tattooed man wearing colorful clothing. Would be here too. And they would find it all too easy sometimes not to see the colors... Shot of Chris Stevens smashing said tattooed man from behind with a mirror. ...and to ignore the beauty in each other. Shot of Alf delivering a beltshot to CWM. But they would never lose sight of the dream. Head shot of Jamie O'Hara looking off into the distance. The bitter world that they could unite... Shot of Team Heyross looking at each other, then turning to look at the camera with a smirk on their faces. And build together...in Triumph. As the last line is spoken, a camera shot from the ground is shown with a red tint, with Rick Heyross, Alfdogg, and Axel standing left to right and looking down into the camera smiling. The screen then fades into another announcement. World Domination Wrestling presents: WDW Triumph Coming Saturday, June 2 Can You Feel It? UFFER The following tag-team contest is your main event of the evening! "Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime CALL ME! (call me)" Roll out the red carpet, it's main-event time on HeldDOWN~! Infact, take that last little snippet literally. A group of unfortunate stagehands come rushing out from the back unfurling a lavish red carpet for the arrival of The Beverly Hills Blonds! Simon and Ned swagger out through the entrance way with their title belts wrapped around their waists and cheesy grins plastered on their face, as Mackenzie follows her men. An even more unlucky stagehand heaves her director's chair behind as the trio stride down the red carpet to the ring. BUFFER Introducing first, being led to the ring by The Chief Financial Officer of The Enterprise, Ms. MACKENZIE DECENZO! They hail from the socialite capital of America, Beverly Hills, California! Total combined weight, four hundred, sixty pounds... together, former HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions, former three-time OAOAST World Tag Team Champions and CURRENTLY, two-thirds of the OAOAST World Six Man Tag Team Champions! Representing THE ENTERPRISE... "THE HANDSOME HUSTLER" NED BLANCHARD... "THE VIDEO VOYEUR" SIMON SINGLETON... THE BEVEEEERRRRLLLYYY HHHIIIIIILLLSSS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDSSSSS!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" As the lengthy intoduction winds down, Ned and Simon leave their titles with Mackenzie in her ringside seat. The Chief Financial Officer shows off the belts to the nearby camera briefly, before ordering the camera away once she's had her moment of publicity. COLE Ah, celebrities. So fickle. Ned and Simon remove their ring jackets and watch on intently, as "Rock The Casbah" by Trust Company powers through the arena. "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The crowd erupt as Leon comes through the entrance doors with similar power, marching down the aisle over the now bunched-up carpet. He thinks better of getting into the ring two on one with The Blonds though, hanging back at the bottom of the ramp. BUFFER And introducing the opponents... first, from Grand Rapids Michigan... weighing in at two hundred, eighteen pounds... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Rodez's mouth curls as he glares at Ned and Simon, the arrogant Californians taunting The Silky Smooth One from the ring mocked faces of fear and sobbing at losing mock sisters. All the mocking just makes what happens next all the sweeter though... ...as the opening bass line of "Getting Away With Murder" hits, and the fans leap to their feet in response! NED & SIMON COLE Oh, MY!! It's fair to say The Beverly Hills Blonds are a little surprised, as ZACK MALIBU appears, peaking out from the hood of his entrance jacket and grinning to the fans! In the ring Ned and Simon are up in arms and demand that Charles Robinson force Leon to find another partner. Robinson just tells them to nut up or shut up, although not in so many words, I just like that phrase. BUFFER And his partner! From Providence, Rhode Island... he weighs in tonight at two hundred and five pounds... he is ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLIBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER And together, they are THE USUAL SSUUUUUUUSSSSSSPPEEEEEECCTTSSSSSS!!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE Former World Tag Team Champions, The Usual Suspects!! And here we go!! With a pat on the back to his partner Zack suddenly storms into the ring with Leon right beside him, getting the jump on The Blonds to the delight of the Dallas crowd! *DINGDINGDING!* Paired off, The Usual Suspects back The Blonds into opposite corners, Zack on Ned and Leon on Simon. The re-united partners unload with right hands before turning their heads, showing no signs of any lost teamwork as they whip The Blonds out... into a mid-ring collision! Ned and Simon hit heads and end up virtually holding one another up. Until that is Leon sneaks up and grabs them both by their Blond locks, clanking their heads together with an old school DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER~! COLE There's a meeting of the minds for you! Zack peels off his entrance jacket while he's not needed, watching on as Leon throws Singleton through the ropes and to the floor right by the horrified Mackenzie. Zack then follows up with a clothesline on Blanchard, sending him up and over the top to the floor, the ring cleared and the fans whipped into a frenzy! "SUS - PECTS!" "SUS - PECTS!" "SUS - PECTS!" "SUS - PECTS!" Meeting in the centre of the ring, Zack and Leon beam as they exchange a MEGA-POWERS HANDSHAKE! COLE Man alive what a reaction! COACH This is completely unfair! Ned and Simon entered this match on the assumption it'd be against one of Leon's friends... Zack isn't Leon's friend, he's not Krista or one of those boyband kids. COLE No, he's Zack Malibu, number one contender to the World Title! And he and Leon are former Tag Team Champions. COACH But who did they lose the belts to? Ned and Simon. They'll be fine... doesn't make it fair though. As The Blonds regroup on the outside it's decided that Leon will officially start the match for his team. So Zack is left to lead the fans with some clapping, which further irks The Enterprise trio on the floor. With Rodez motioning for at least one of them to get back into the ring, Ned suddenly takes the lead and brushes his colleagues aside as he slides in, charges... ...and eats canvas from a drop toehold! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Ned climbs back up holding his face, not looking where he's going and ending up walking into a right hand from Zack from the apron! Wobbling around, Ned walks into a right from Leon! Which sends him right back into a right from Zack! And a big Bionic Elbow from Leon, knocking him down to the canvas! Tag is made and together The Usual Suspects send Blanchard off the ropes. Back on the apron Simon uses the full length of the tagrope to try and get down the apron for a blind tag, but fails and can only watch as Ned goes up and down with a Double Backbody Drop! Out goes Leon, as Zack makes the cover... 1... 2... No! Zack catches Ned on the way up with a side headlock to keep him from the tag. COACH I don't get what Zack is thinking. He's got the World Champion in three days, for the title, probably the last possible chance... and here he is risking himself in a tag team match? I don't get it. COLE Ever heard of the word 'loyalty'? Leon helped Zack out against The Wildcards and almost paid for it with his career. I guess Zack feels he owes him. COACH Well, if Zack ends up losing at School's Out, who'll owe who then? Leading his way up in the side headlock, Ned goes to the ribs with a couple of forearms to soften The Franchise up. Ned then backs Zack off the ropes and for the ride. But a shoulder block puts him on his back, where he's most comfortable. He's got mirrors on his ceiling, apparantly. Best not to dwell on that. Anyway, back in wrestling land, drop down by Blanchard forcing Zack up and over the top as he comes off the ropes. Again Simon goes wandering down the apron, this time without the tag-rope as he delivers a knee to the kidneys... ...which Zack shrugs off, knocking Singleton off the apron with a backfist! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Ned tries to take advantage of the distraction, but Malibu sidesteps him and brings him off the ropes with a Schoolboy... 1... 2... No! Hands clasped, Ned again tries to cut off the number one contender, this time with a double axehandle. He couldn't really have telegraphed it more though and Zack connects with a boot to the gut, leading Ned over to the Usual Suspects corner and bringing Leon back in. COLE The Beverly Hills Blonds are completely off their game here. I'm sure they hadn't banked on Zack Malibu being the partner, no matter how much it makes sense. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Chop by Leon! COACH Like I say, Zack never should have put himself in this position. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Chop by Zack! COLE He seems to be in a pretty good position right now. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Chop by Leon! Walking out of the corner with a hand across his chest, The Handsome Hustler pleads for mercy. If he'd hoped to get it, he would be sorely disappointed. If he'd hoped to lure Leon into an eyepoke though? Mission accomplished. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH That's why they're the best in the business! You back Ned and Simon into a corner, they come out fighting! COLE Yeah, they get desperate and starting gouging eyes and kicking low, that's when they're really dangerous. With Leon blinded Ned quickly gets the tag to Simon Singleton, who heads straight to the top rope and comes flying in with a simple but effective forearm brought down over the head. Making sure to rub it in Zack's face Simon then puts the boots to Leon, drawing Malibu into the ring and allowing Ned to rejoin the fray with some stomps of his own! Zack realises pretty quickly that all he's doing is distracting the referee but by the time he goes back to the apron, the damage is done and Singleton is standing tall, "rolling cameras" and taunting the crowd. "SI - MON SUCKS!" "SI - MON SUCKS!" "SI - MON SUCKS!" "SI - MON SUCKS!" With a front facelock Simon leads Leon up, executing a suplex and covering... 1... 2... Kickout. No worries for Simon though, pinning Leon down again to this time delivering a jumping knee to the chest. A second time Singleton drops the knee, making "money fingers" at Zack before dropping a climactic third. COACH What a Trilogy! You know those are all the rage nowadays. Zack manages to restrain himself from getting involved this time... 1... 2... ...until Singleton makes the cover and he comes in to break the count with a hard kick to the back of the head! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Mackenzie and Ned waste no time in getting on the referee's case but Malibu is safely back on the apron with the tag-rope in hand. In tags Ned now, looking to take his frustrations out on Leon as he leads him into a neutral corner, burying the knee into the gut. Rodez doubles over and quickly Ned grabs hold of two handfuls of hair before THROWING Leon backwards, the back of his head striking the top turnbuckle causing his neck to whiplash nastily! COLE And Blanchard going right after the neck! That's not the first time we've seen that since Leon came back and it sure won't be the last, that is a large bullseye on his body for any and every wrestler in the OAOAST to exploit. Realising better than probably anyone his partner's injury, Zack warns the referee to keep Ned off the neck. As Robinson explains there's nothing he can really do Ned then makes the point more self-evident as he leads Rodez into the centre of the ring and drops him with a Neckbreaker. With Leon writhing on the canvas, Ned taunts Zack some more. And this time he takes the bait, drawing in the ref and allowing The Blonds to make an illegal switch! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Smart! Smart move, Zack's judgment in that ring isn't always that great and he's still steaming after what he said earlier. The Beverly Hills Blonds, taking full advantage. COLE Taking liberties might be a better way of putting it. COACH No, no. If Zack's a hothead, that's his issue and it's something Ned and Simon are well within their rights to exploit. Singleton applies a front chancre on the mat and softens up the neck some more as finally Zack leaves, confusing Robinson to no end as the other Blond is now in the ring to when he last looked. Insistance from Mackie and Ned that the legal tag was made goes against the roars of the crowd. But the ref decides he could do without the hassle and asks Leon if he wants to give up. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" With Zack as cheerleader, the Texan crowd begin to get behind The Silky Smooth One. It seems to be working too, as Leon starts to kick his feet in rhythm. COLE Leon is fighting for his sister here, you're not going to keep him down for long in something like this. COACH Oh, he's fighting for his sister, wah wah! Give it a rest already Mikey, she made her choice and she made it right. Drawing on the support of the crowd, Rodez begins to fight back up. Simon looks a little surprised at all this, trying to apply extra pressure on the presumably weak neck. But Leon keeps on fighting and drives Simon backwards... ...unfortunately, into the Beverly Hills district of the ring, allowing Ned to tag himself in. In he steps with a hard shot to the exposed ribs and the energy disappears from Leon and from the Dallas crowd. BLANCHARD C'MON ZACK! BE THE BIG HERO, YOU KNOW YOU WANNA! In steps Zack... ...and around Leon's throat goes the tagrope from Singleton! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Give me a break! COACH Again, smart wrestling. Zack is virtually wrestled out of the ring by Robinson, at which point The Blonds stop cheating and try to look innocent. They do enough of a job of it that the referee counts Ned's pin on Leon... 1... 2... NO! Another tag is made between The Blonds and together they send Leon off the ropes. Singleton executes a drop toehold, which co-incides with Ned coming in from the side with the point of the elbow to the back of the head, the double team move setting up the cover from Simon... 1... 2... KICKOUT! Frustrated, Simon drags Leon back up to his feet again. Ned extends his hand for the tag but he's denied for now as Simon has things fully in hand, connecting with a kick to the gut and doubling Rodez over for a Swinging Neckbreaker. However, the swing is swung through into a Backslide from The Grand Rapids Golden Child... 1... 2... NO! Both men climb right back to their feet... ...and Leon starts backpedalling... ...INTO THE TAG FROM ZACK MALIBU!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Wuh-oh! In springs The Franchise, knocking down Simon as he tries to call for a time-out and knocking down Ned before he can even think about getting into the ring! Zack rushes back over to Simon and leans him back into the ropes, sending him for the ride with an irish whip and executing a big BAAAACK bodydrop!! COLE Zack Malibu, running rule! COACH Come on guys, get it together! Teddy's relying on you! With Ned thinking better of trying to get into the ring again... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...Zack connects with a knifedge chop on Singleton! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...a second. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and, the wrestling rule of three is adhered to! However, just as Zack begins to build up to something big, he falls to a big knee to the kidneys from that wily Ned Blanchard, having snuck into the ring undetected. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" A double irish-whip follows from The Beverly Hills Blonds, the most decorated tag-team in OAOAST history looking for one of their patented double-teams, ducking their heads ready for the Double Feature Flapjack. Zack manages to slam on the brakes though, kicking Ned up in the chest before SLAPPING Simon between the shoulder blades! COACH Unneccessary! Recovering quickly, Ned tries to catch Zack napping with a kick to the gut... CAUGHT! Zack catches the boot and spins Ned around, CAUSING HIM TO KICK HIS OWN PARTNER IN THE GUT! BLANCHARD As Simon doubles over, Zack then feeds in the shocked Blanchard with a big yell of 'BACKDROP!'. Not thinking straight apparantly, Singleton mistakes Zack's Rhode Island twang for Ned's Californian accent and instinctively stands upright, BACKDROPPING HIS OWN PARTNER! SINGLETON *SMACK!* "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE SCHOOL'S OUT!! SCHOOL'S OUT!! Singleton goes flying through the ropes from the Superkick, Zack quickly tagging out to Leon and clearing the floor for his partner as he exits the ring. And with Zack keeping a close eye on Simon, who's still seeing stars, in steps Leon, stalking Ned. COLE This doesn't look good for The Beverly Hills Blonds. Three down, one to go... Reeling around, Ned walks right into Leon. And with a double leg trip Leon takes The Handsome Hustler down AND APPLIES THE LIONTAMER!! COACH OH NO! COLE THIS IS WHAT BEAT WRIGHT LAST WEEK! Ned tries to fight the hold, but with the knee firmly in the back... *TAPTAPTAPTAP!* "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...he sees sense AND QUICKLY TAPS OUT!! *DINGDINGDING!* Mackenzie looks stunned as Leon releases the hold, throwing Ned away and allowing his hand to be raised. Quickly Zack slides in and pats his partner on the back, neither one in any mood for a big celebration. BUFFER Your winners of the match... the team of ZACK MALIBU and LEON RODEZ, THE USUAL SSSSUUUUUSSSSPPEEEEEEEECCTTSSSSSSSSS!!!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE What an impressive showing. Enough is enough and it looks like The Usual Suspects are tired of playing! For Leon, it's four down... and that leaves just one to go. For Zack, it's always been about one. Theodore Moneymaker, beware. Drek Stone, beware. We'll see you all at School's Out, goodnight! The last shot we get is of Leon and Zack shaking hands as we fade out. THIS HAS BEEN A PRESENTATION OF

As the female voiceover runs down the sponsor list we see an outside shot of the arena... OAOAST HeldDOWN is brought to you by... Verizon Wireless-Join In By Monster-Post Your Resume Today And By Citi-Let's get it done Massive Syrian and Canadian flags unfurl on each side of the Angletron, drawing a harsh reaction from the Texas audience. The lights dim to a swirling dark blue blaze as Hate me Now pumps into the arena. From the parting entrance doors emerges a man still seeking his first OAOAST victory, Abdullah Abir Nerdly. Outfitted in baggy blue shorts featuring an intricate tiger design on the left side, he extends his arms into the air, then brings them down in a worshiping motion. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of ten minutes! Now making his way to the ring from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada by way of Damascus, Syria...he weighs in at one hundred eighty three pounds, he is the Syrian Prince and an Inspirational Leader, he is ABDULLAH ABIR NERRRRDLLLY! AAN strolls down the entry way, jamming his index finger into his chest as he informs the nearby spec tators of his athletic and mental superiority. COLE Abdullah Abir Nerdly had a very good showing against newcomer Jacob Cross a few weeks back. Tonight the competition is little easier of Abdullah, but we can't put anything past his ability to lose. The camera focuses on Abdullah's opponent for the night. A well built man, in his early twenties, a tattoo of Bugs Bunny holding a machine gun rests prominently on his left shoulder. His lean hips and posterior fit comfortably in bright green bicycle shorts. Beneath his wispy blond hair rests a toothy grin, he's obviously thrilled to be in the OAOAST for the next two minutes. BUFFER And currently in the ring, he stands five feet ten inches and weighed in at one hundred eighty one pounds. From Alton, Illinois he is BOYD WILSON! DING DING DING! A lock up begins this highly anticipated (LOL!) affair. Wilson is able to use his small strength advantage to begin to force the Syrian towards the corner. However the adopted Nerdly son employs his shrewd technique and flips Wilson head over heels with a fireman's carry. The Alton native quickly rises to his feet, but can mount no offensive attack as Abdullah punishes him with flesh searing knife edge chops. After the sixth chop concludes, Abby snakes his arm around his foe's neck for a side headlock. The move doesn't last very long however, as Wilson shoves his rival into the ropes. The enhancement talent readies to paste Abir Nerdly with a lariat, but Abby snuffs this plan out by flooring him with a high knee lift! In celebration over executing that simple move, Nerdly stands with his arms raised to his side and yells “Praise be to Abdullah!” COLE He's cocky despite having absolutely no reason to do so. COACH He's a Syrian prince! COLE Really? Is that right? Because I bet if you go to Syria, you'll find 99.9% of the population have never heard of him. AAN scoops his anguished foe off the canvas, and once again traps him into a side headlock. This time, Wilson seeks to utilize raw power to break himself away from the grip. But despite his massive efforts, he meets nothing but failure as Abdullah takes him down to the canvas with a headlock takedown. Trapped within a vice grip, Wilson struggles mightily to free himself from the clutches of the hated foreigner. Yet he only achieves freedom when Abby releases him in order to pump stomps into his midsection. Wilson fights through the wave of attacks to head to a vertical base. Once he reaches an upright position, he unleashes a round of crowd popping punches onto the heel. COLE Wilson is on fire, Coach! I think we need to see more of him and a little less of Abdullah! Or how about a lot less of Abdullah? Wilson attempts to to pulverize Abs with a DDT. But he's unsuccessful as AAN desperately shoves him into the cables. Emitting a feral roar, the Alton native rumbles back to steamroll AAN with a spinning wheel kick! As a few fans applaud for the shower of power, Wilson covers his foe.... ONE A quick kick out follows, momentarily dashing Boyd's hopes for victory. He brushes aside his disappointment quickly enough to lead AAN to his feet. Abby is punished with an arm wrench, then slung into the ropes. Upon his return Wilson pushes him to the canvas with a dropkick. Another pin follows.... ONE TWO But Nerdly avoids his fourth oaoast loss with a sudden kick out. He leaps to his feet under his own violation, and with anger filling out his features, he slams elbow strikes into the head of his rival. After the eighth blow leaves Wilson suitably dazed, Abby whirls his limber body around to obliterate him with a spinning back fist. But Wilson counters by diving low and dragging Nerdly into a roll up pin. ONE TWO Once again AAN shoots himself out of the pinfall, then speeds away from his fiery rival. But Boyd is quick to stay on top of him, clubbing him with furious forearms. Abby ends these vexing blows with a terrible cheap shot, raking his fingers through his rival's eyes. As Wilson struggles with his vision, Abby scurries onto the second ropes. When the man nears the Syrian warrior, Abdullah launches himself from his perch to chop him down with a diving lariat! COLE Abdullah seems to be making a comeback against this surprising youngster. But will his arrogance get the better the of him? Clutching his injured chest, Wilson scrapes himself off the canvas. Behind him creeps the Arab superstar, hands outstretched, lips curled into a savage smile, body ready to pounce for a chokeout attempt. But Wilson delays such a tactic by whirling around and catching his foe square in the jaw with a discus punch. The tremendous force of the blow propels a wad of spit and blood from Nerdly's mouth, and dumps him into the ring ropes. Emitting another primal roar, Wilson makes a sudden dash to AAN, seeking to knock him over the ropes and onto the floor. But Abby counteracts this technique by dipping low and slinging the New Englander over the cables. Owing to his great agility, the youngster succeeds in landing squarely on his green and gold boots. Unfortunately this makes him a prime target to be assaulted by a snarling Abdullah. Wilson greets the maniac's charge by ramming a shoulder block into his midsection. He then leaps over his foe's body and back into the ring with a sunset flip. Abby is adamant in his refusal to go down and frantically attempts to stay erect (only the 1500th most homoerotic sentence I've ever written). Wilson is not deterred by AAN's resilience and exerts a mighty tug on his rival's shorts. COACH Come on Abdullah make something happen here! Heeding Coach's loudly stated advice, Abdullah drops down onto Wilson's chest, trapping the youngster into a pinfall. In a damning indictment of his skills, or lack thereof, AAN actually has to hook onto the ropes in order to complete the fall. The referee counts the pin... ONE TWO THREE! COLE Abdullah Abir Nerdly has done it tonight! Two months in the oaoast and he finally scores his first victory! Could it be the first of many? COACH No. Absolutely not. But have you seen the breasts on his two sisters? BA-DAM! You can never get two down on life when you got those funbags staring at you everytime you go back to the frozen north. The fact that this is his first win within the OAOAST ring isn't lost on young Abdullah! He runs a frenzied lap across the ring, joyously pumping his fists into the air, saluting the crowd who are totally indifferent to his “accomplishment”. Abby finally manages to compose himself, and drops to his knees where he gives thanks to himself for being such a “fantastic” competitor. While someone informs Abby that's it's just pro wrestling, man, ease up, duke, we'll go to another commercial break. COMMERCIAL Once we return from those thrilling advertisements we're backstage in Tony Schiavone's Mobile Studio AKA The OAOAST Update Center, Schiavone trying to escape back to the glory days of 80s NWA. His nostalgia is interrupted by the fact we're on live TV however, waking him from his daydream. SCHIAVONE Tony Schiavone backstage at the OAOAST Update Center, where we are just 3 nights away from the OAOAST's next PPV prsentation, School's Out 2007! We will be coming to you live from Houston, Texas with the World Heavyweight Championship on the line, finally, as Drek Stone honours his commitment to take on Zack Malibu in a rematch from AngleMania. Plus, of course, the ominous Hell In A Cell structure will be looming over the ring ready for Tha Puerto Rican to take on Bohemoth. A lot lot more on tap besides those two huge matches of course, including a special eight person tag team match announced not to long ago, with The Enterprise consisting of The Beverly Hills Blonds, CPA and Christian Wright to take on D*LUX and the World Tag Team Champions Chicks Over Dicks. And joining me right now, The Beverly Hills Blonds... On cue, The Blonds emerge from out of the shot, flanked of course by Mackenzie DeCenzo. All of the three have pretty sour looks on their faces, the solace of their Six Man Tag Team Title belts not even enough to cheer up Ned and Simon. SCHIAVONE A big night ahead at School's Out and a big night tonight, as you find yourselves as the last line of defence to your boss Theodore Moneymaker. Leon Rodez has gone through CPA, he's gone through Christian Wright, tonight he looks to go through you two men, with a partner of his choosing. MACKENZIE You know, there's a saying in life that you save the best 'till last. And while The Blonds may not be at the top of The Enterprise heirachy, they're clearly near it... SCHIAVONE So, you're saying that they're better than Christian and CPA? MACKENZIE I'm saying nothing of the sort and don't you dare try and create friction within The Enterprise before School's Out! We'll have you taken out of here before you can say "Jackie Gayda". Don't think we couldn't either. What I'm saying is, Teddy respects these two men to the highest degree. He's more than comfortable with The Beverly Hills Blonds as his so-called 'last line of defence'. With the best sports-entertainment tag team protecting his assets, how can he go wrong, after all? And let's just say, he's not at all worried about Leon Rodez. SCHIAVONE And you're not at all worried about Leon's choice of partner? The Blonds and Mackenzie all laugh... and then laugh a little bit louder, just to further their point. BLANCHARD Please Schiavone, give us some credit. We're the most decorated sports-entertainers going. We've won the OAOAST Tag Titles three times. Three times! Plus, those Japanese belts... SINGLETON HI-YAH. BLANCHARD ...yeah, hey buddy. Those Japanese titles, we won them. We were voted the 2006 Tag Team Of The Year by the Academy of Idiots and Morons, aka all the people in TV land and internet squalor land. And now, we're two-thirds of the OAOAST 6 Man Tag Team Champions as well! We've won everything that there is to win as a tag team. And we're supposed to be worried? By Leon Rodez and one of D*LUX? Or Leon Rodez and one of Chicks Over Dicks? Not a chance! He could bring them both and we'd still beat them, that's why we're six man tag champions. Hell, he can bring all four of his 'lost souls' along and we'll call ourselves the 10 Man World Tag Team Champions too, why not? SINGLETON The point we're trying to make is, Leon, we're a box-office smash! And let's face it, you're strictly 'straight to video' material. Simon makes a camera rolling hand signal as Ned laughs it up next to him. SCHIAVONE Well, The Be... MACKENZIE Not so fast! We want to take a moment to wish our good friend Paris the best of luck, fighting the predjudiced and misguided California police code. It's obvious to the world that a young lady of her religious conscience and above all else her wealth doesn't deserve to be thrown into the same squallid California prisons that Krista Isadora Duncan and Alix Maria Spezia have spent their entire, ill-gotten lives dodging. And although I'm sure she doesn't need it, she has The Enterprise's full financial and political backing to fight her injustice. Be brave Paris. Continue to better our lives by your very existance. Choking back the tears, Mackenzie is comforted by Ned and Simon as they walk off set, with a destained Tony Schiavone watching on. COLE Oh, brother. COACH Wait, I'm confused, which Paris are they talking about? COLE ...Paris, Texas. COACH OH! ...wait, that's a town not a people. Now I'm even more confused! COLE Good. Try to sort yourself out during the commercial. BREAK! COMMERCIAL COMING UP NEXT Leon Rodez's quest for justice continues Silky Smooth Leon Rodez and a mystery partner Vs The Beverly Hills Blonds NEXT

After the break is over we're taken backstage to the OAOAST interview area where Maggie Nerdly is chilling with Chicks Over Dicks. The OAOAST's queen of the hype machine wears a ruffled black mini skirt over long black and white striped stockings, and a My Chemical Romance tank top. Leaning against the monitors that make up the backdrop is Krissy D. Or Krissy I.D, that sounds fresher. A half full glass of Chateau Margaux red wine rests between her finger tips. A medium sleeved pink top drapes her upper body, featuring whimsical red ribbons on the collar and sleeves. Her long legs are stashed into capri fit denim jeans. Alix wears a white and blue striped A&F polo shirt, along with widely flared superlight washed jeans. If you didn't understand that sentence step ya women's fashion game up, cracka ass. MAGGIE What's up ya'll? Maggie Nerdly your gal on the scene, chilling backstage with America's Sweethearts, Hollywood “It” Girls and, tag team champs, Chicks Over Dicks! ALIX Woah! Wait, what's going on? We already knew Terry Taylor had a distinct lack of testicles, but unless he got real blonde, and real cute, you're not television's most degenerate, pathetic comedy character since Chris Farley's Matt Foley Motivational Speaker. Perked up by the prospects of not having to think of any super “clever” insults to demean Terry Taylor with, Krista drags herself off the monitors. KRISTA Wow, with no Terry Taylor, It's like god's said "Hey Krista, pull the shotgun out of your mouth, take the Tylenol out of the bottle of vodka, and back away from the Golden Gate Bridge, because the sun'll come up tomorrow." So go head and ask away, gorgeous, because Miss Krista has new lease on this exasperating hell called life! MAGGIE Rock on, sweet sisters! Now, Theodore Moneymaker, the leader of The Enterprise has openly declared war on you simply because he despises gays and lesbians. In only a month he's shelled out over a million dollars in failed attempts to have the tag titles taken off you.... KRISTA Someone needs to wake up the peglegged hamster operating that wheel-powered brain of his, so he can actually explain the purpose behind all this. The man has billions upon billions of dollars, could use the eager and willing mouthes millionaires as his personal toilet, but instead of using his money to hire a personal trainer to ensure his tons of fun ass isn't casted for the next season of Celebrity Fit Club, he's using it to attempt to “restore” the “prestige” of the tag team titles by getting them off us. Pourquoi? MAGGIE Because he's a crazy a bigot, who took his life lessons from the first half of American History X? KRISTA Exactly! A gold star for you, my love. Now, keep in mind that the previous holders included The Sooner Bruisers, a gang of a semi-human barbarians, who's skin would be better used as an overcoat to keep those who's life actually has meaning warm in the winter. And of course there were The Rockers, a collection of stone stupid, diseased ridden dope fiends. Don't believe the last part? Don't be so naive, young Margret! They're so addicted that if the best way to get high was to put crack on the tip of a kitchen knife, and jam it repeatedly into your stomach, they'd be at Bed Bath and Beyond hunting for the sharpest butter knife before heading down to WAL*MART to grab a dozen Ace Bandages. And hey, I can drop insults on them all I want, I paid sixty bucks and sold my gardener into the middle eastern slave trade in order to import their Ramadan album, and it's just Synth humming the Mary Tyler Moore theme song! While Krista suffers through buyers remorse, Ally leans the single microphone towards her bubble gum pink lips. ALIX If I have one question it's how come Carl reactivated Urkelbot in that episode of Family Matters? Didn't he learn the first time that the robot was bad news? And if I have another question, it's what's Theodore wanna gain by taking the belts away from us? I don't really get it, ya know? After we lose the titles does he think every lesbian and bi-sexual woman is gonna wake up the next morning and say, “You know what I'd really like for breakfast? Penis.” MAGGIE No doubt, it's a pretty stupid plan. But his last name is Moneymaker not Einstein. What can you expect? KRISTA Maggie, we live in such a homophobic world, and I don't mean to do the un-zen thing and turn this into an us versus them duality, but they don't want us to have anything! They don't us to have kids, they don't want us to teach kids, they don't want us to get hitched... ALIX And then they'll even invite you to weddings and get hella butthurt when you don't wanna go! Oh my god, what is that? Why don't you go back to the 1860's and say “Hey, black man, how 'bout ya come on down and watch me vote?” KRISTA Gee, sweetie, not making paint chips part of a complete breakfast has really improved your IQ and comedic timing. You go girlfriend! Maggie, they don't want us in the military, and the armed forces is so desperate for people they changed their old slogan from “We're looking for a few good men.” to “We're looking...eh, screw it just shove the crack in your pocket and get your dumbass in the god damn van.” They don't even want us in church! Church will take everyone, Maggie, it's like non-credit community college with Jesus and holy water! Wife beaters, drug dealers, pimps, serial rapists, murders, hookers? Come on down to the party, ya'll! Charles Manson can decorate the Christmas tree, but Gertrude Stein's gotta stand outside, face pressed against the window, looking all sad like Charlie Brown when he didn't get invited to Lucy's birthday party. Now, given all that you'd think the tag titles of a low rated basic cable television show, might slip bellow their radar. But Jerry Falwell's ghost has already told Theo to call to the repo man and get 'em back! ALIX It gets so worse then that though! People like Theodore Moneymaker can't bring themselves to even let us have homosexuality, they're always trying to find ways to convert you. Seriously, I could not tell you the amount of times I've been in downtown LA and I get some dude running up to me screaming, “My Latino sister, my Latino sister! The end is near, the end is near, the end is nearer then it's ever been! If you wish to get through the gates of Heaven you must give up fornication, masturbation, homosexuality, bestiality, recreational drug use, and child molestation.” KRISTA There goes my weekend! ALIX I like how bestiality is better then homosexuality on the list of super awful things that God really freaking hates. Attention ladies! If you're gonna covet something of thy neighbor's make it Fido, not his wife! KRISTA But the worst thing is when every guy in America knows you're a lesbian, and every guy in America thinks he can be the guy that'll be the reason your daughter stops singing I saw mommy kissing Mrs.Calus. They think you're so desperate to hook up with a man, that won't even bother to put any effort into it. “What's good girl, yo ass cheeks looking real fine in them pants. Let's see how they look with me stuck between.” Uh, no thanks, darling. “What's up girl? You don't like chocolate?” Oh no, I love chocolate, I just like it without nuts. ALIX They think you have to look a certain way also! Like you have to be a fifty footer, someone who you can tell is a lesbian from fifty feet away. Krista gets this all the time, "Oh, but you don't look like a lesbian." Oh, she's one of those bran new undercover dykes, babe, she gets ya by surprise. You think you're just signing up for her yoga class, and before ya know it you're picketing congress and listening to Sarah McLachlan! MAGGIE You know what? I really want to be the one who tells you things are getting better, but I guess I gotta be the one to dish out some majorly bad news. I don't know if you're aware of this or not, but.... ALIX Many Americans might think it would be a really cool idea to rent a videotape to record footage of Krista's grandfather peeing on birds in the park, and have the first viewing for the footage be at his 90th birthday party? I already knew that, Maggie! And I'm here to drop a PSA on everyone and say that is a......killer idea! MAGGIE I see Ally stays up to date on what's going down. But how about you Krista? Are you aware that Theodore Moneymaker has used his power as the third largest investor in TSM to book an eight person tag team match pitting you and D*LUX against The Enterprise team of The Beverly Hills Blonds, Christian Wright and CPA at Schools Out? KRISTA I'm aware of many things, pretty lady, such as that Alix should strongly consider sleeping with both eyes open and a hand on a glock. What I'm not aware of is why in Buddah's name would Theo assume those four chuckleheads could ever beat a team that's torn through every major oaoast tag team in existence. MAGGIE Well, I think all four of them are hot garbage, but Christian Wright actually managed to nail down a HI-YAH world title sometime before this years' Anglemania wardrobe malfunction. KRISTA Wow, Wright was the champion of a promotion that only about sixteen Americans have ever heard of, and these same sixteen people have probably been prominent features of Dateline's To Catch a Predator, congratulations, my mans, you're an inspiration to a guy who said sex with a thirteen year old would be the sweetest greatest pleasure. Shine on you crazy diamond, shine on. And how long were you the world champion? Three months? A quarter of a year? Fantastic accomplishment, you should feel honored and esteemed, unfortunately it doesn't change the fact that you still have to pay for sex. Hey, maybe after the show, you and Terry Taylor can mosey on down to the street corner and see if you can score a friends hump free discount from Mrs.Moneymaker. ALIX If you squint real hard, you'll swear the genital warts look like a tattoo of Mighty Mouse. KRISTA Look, here's the final 4-1-1 for you, little miss sunshine, if those four are what Theodore likes to call a threat, then they're about to meet what I like to call an ass whupping. It will be a slaughter, it will be the most savage and horrific crime in American history, it will be the end of the Enterprise as we know it, and it will be on pay view for the low-low-low price of forty nine dollars and ninety nine cents! And speaking of things worth ninety nine cents or less, we come to Mackenzie DeCenzo! I'm kidding, love, your beauty and class is worth it's weight in Gwen Stefani albums alone. After we turf the world's boringest mid-90's WWF ripoffs out of town, you're gonna need a new place to put your uh...masters in “oral persuasion” (wink wink!) degree to use. Allow me to invite you to my seven bedroom, seven bathroom, fifteen million dollar landmark estate in Beverly Hills. I'm sure it can't compare to the lovely one bed room apartment Ned's got in Playa Del Ray, aka a garbage dump with a mayor and skinheads, but my doors, amongst other things, are always open for sophisticated woman like you. MAGGIE A shout out to Mackenzie, and for the rest of Enterprise, stay back, because at Schools Out, you just may get taken to school. Ally, Krista, thanks a bunch, you've been wonderful. For now, let's flip it over to Mean Gene who's about to chill with my awesome big sis, Melody. Gene-O? Maggie ain't no liar, because backstage, broadcast Hall of Famer “Mean” Gene Okerlund is positioned at the interview area. OKERLUND Thank you, Margret, and thank you for staying with us, ladies and gentlemen. We’ll return to the ring for more live action momentarily. But I’d first like to welcome one of the most promising young tag teams in our sport today, along with their manager Melody Nerdly, Jock Mulligan and Baron Windels, the Lone Star Gunslingers! JOCK Yeeeeee-haw! Melody skips into view, a big smile on her face. Jock and Baron, they’re giddy but all business at the same time. OKERLUND They’re awfully excited, Melody. MELODY The entire state of Texas and parts of Mexico is excited as well, Gene. I just got off of AIM with Mr. Miyagi of HI-YAH promotions, and he’s informed me our request for a title rematch against the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew has been granted. We came so close to winning those belts once… What am I saying? We HAD those belts won. The cheap shot artists that they are, Rico and Lucius were ready to do some serious damage. If not for the Heavenly Rockers my boys might be standing before you tonight with stitches in their heads and faces! And we couldn’t have that because it’d have ruined the photo shoot we just did for Teen People. BARON That’s why Jock and I are out here. Not to talk about some photo shoot, but the Heavenly Rockers. We know how bad they want a piece of the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. They went on and done something that never should be done…and that’s mess with another man’s wife. Soul and de Janeiro, they’re a couple of bad dudes; unafraid to break a rule here or there. The Lone Star Gunslingers just want the Heavenly Rockers to know we’ll have their backs the same way they had ours whenever they and the Homewrecking Crew meet. MAN Hey, yo. Heads turn as a voice is heard off-screen, that of RICO DE JANEIRO. The King of Mardi Gras enters stroking his ‘stache as only he can followed by a strutting and ‘fro combing “Sweet” Lucius Soul. RICO Did I hear correctly? Did the afro pickin‘, ‘stache stroking, finger licking good tag team hear you guys say we’re bad? Mang, you ain’t seen bad yet. Wait until we get through with the Heavenly Rockers Sunday night. OKERLUND Hold on just a second, Rico de Janeiro! Are you saying you and Lucius have accepted the Heavenly Rockers challenge for School’s Out? LUCIUS You deaf or something’, foo‘? OKERLUND No, I just wanted to confirm… RICO Well let me confirm this for you, chico. Yeah, we accept their challenge. But it’s non-title. Logan said they didn’t care whether the belts were on the line or not, and that only made our decision easier because they ain’t even in contention for a shot at our straps. The Lone Star Gunslingers on the other hand…heh… Hey, we got no problems defending our tag titles against you two chumps. We’ve wiped the floor with you once and we’d do it again. MELODY Pfft! WhatEVER! You’ll be lucky to even defend your titles if Synth and Logan don’t kill you at School’s Out. Ooh, they mad, sucka. LUCIUS (chuckles, licks chops) You talk pretty big for such a little girl. Tell me, you free on the weekends? I can hook you up with a guy who can make you some easy money. Of course, since I’d have discovered you, I’d get a cut of the action, as would my friend. JOCK Who do you think you’re talking too? This ain’t no lady of the street, fella. I think you owe her an apology. LUCIUS Make me…sucka. JOCK I believe we have ourselves a failure to communicate. Jock reaches back and pops Soul in the face! LUCIUS Oh, it’s ON now. Lucius retaliates and a pier-six breaks out backstage with the Gunslingers and Homewrecking Crew going at it. Gene and Melody head for cover while OAOAST officials storm the area. We cut to Sofa Central to find a stunned Michael Cole and Coach. COACH COLE You can tell summer is approaching because the intensity is already heating up! Right now we head to commercial break. COMMERCIAL

From The American Airlines Center which is an arena located in the Victory Park neighborhood near downtown Dallas, Texas that is used for hockey games, basketball games, football games and concerts. The American Airlines Center is home to the following sports teams that can lick my sweaty anus, fuiud: * Dallas Stars * Dallas Mavericks manthat dallas stars shit be preposterous fuk

i am bout to get sprung

fuck yes, cause I noticed that BUTT was stuffed, deep in the jeans she's wearing. I'm hooked and I can't stop staring.

go read Biff's promo because duke is spitting some of that real shit. i bought some land on the moon from some dude earlier this month so i ain't even really tripping on this global warming shit anyways, but you dudes ain't ghostriding my space whip you only got one planet so give it one love you already kno peace god

CREDITS EWC kc Zachary Tony alfie o'green

THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD As HeldDOWN~! begins, we are treated to...Anglesault himself! The namesake of the One and Only Anglesault Thread and President of the company is standing in front the camera, clad in an Armani suit. ANGLESAULT Ladies and gentlemen, before we begin with tonights show, I'd like to take a moment to offer explanation for certain ongoings within the company. As you all know, Zack Malibu has cashed in his Two For The Money title shot, which will take place at School's Out in just about two weeks time. Leading up to that, it was stated that World Champion Drek Stone, due to his constant disrespect of this company, its roster, and even the very championship he held, would be forced to become a fighting champion, defending the belt at numerous points leading up to his rematch with Zack Malibu. As you can see by the last few weeks of television, Drek Stone has once again been MIA from television, and this is why. Anglesault takes a deep breath, and doesn't seem happy with what he's about to say. ANGLESAULT Drek Stone, the OAOAST World Champion, took the OAOAST to court, wrapping us up in a legal battle over his rights as a member of this roster. Citing defamation of character, an unfair bias against him and towards others, namely Zack Malibu, slander, blackmail, and various other charges, Stone has tried in every way possible to cripple the OAOAST without so much as setting foot inside one of the arenas housing our shows. With the legal matter now settled, I am free to tell you that Drek Stone WILL and MUST make his scheduled match with Zack Malibu at School's Out this coming May 27th. Mr. Stone will not see action until then, but he has posted an appearance bond for the event, meaning not only must he show up, but if he does not, he will not only forfeit the OAOAST World Title to Zack Malibu, but lose $100,000 of his own money! Also, should he not show up, Mr. Stone would be guilty of breach of contract, which would enable us to bring him back to court, and prevent him from competing for any other wrestling companies no matter where their country of origin is. So, with that said, I hope I have cleared the air somewhat regarding our World Heavyweight Title scene, and hope you enjoy tonight's HeldDOWN~!. Thank you. After the strange dichotomy of such a crucial announcement coming from a man who dedicated the latter parts of his message board career to exposing the illogical nature of the “you can't see me” hand gesture sinks in the bopping sounds of Party Like a Rockstar (still haven't found a better song!) fills the audio space. Flashing onto screen is the introductory video featuring the key characters in our sports melodrama. Their names flashed across the scree, as they stand in locales specific to their personality. Once that concludes we're shown the logo.... FEMALE VOICE OVER And now, courtesy of Budweiser Select, The OAOAST, and The AT&T Bricktown Ballpark it is time for HeldDOWN! We're given a wide shot of the AT&T Bricktown Ballpark. Unlike the arenas where the world's premier sports entertainment show is typically confined to, this venue is a light struck place, not dim nor gloomy or monochrome as so many of the cookie cutter buildings happen to be. Coupled with the beaming white lights and the gorgeous sunsetting sky, it glows with an alien order-a light so majestic it has the quality of a fantasy. The roaring audience appears dipped in shivery tones of orange and silver, the sunset burning the clouds above them. But enough of me reminiscing over a stadium I've never been to, let's take it to the announce team! COLE Ladies and gentlemen thank you for joining us in Oklahoma City for tonight's edition of the greatest athletic spectacle on earth, OAOAST HeldDOWN! I am Michael Cole, joined as always by The Coach. Coach, we're live from a baseball stadium and it's fitting because have a real homerun of a show tonight. COACH No diggity, we started off hot with Anglesault's announcement and we keep on rolling. The main event features Leon Rodez going head to head with his old enemy Christian Wright in a street fight. That should be one hell of a brawl! Chicks Over Dicks defend their tag titles against James Blonde and Faqu. The Heavenly Rockers will be in action tonight, and Biff Atlas embarks on his new found singles career. COLE The OAOAST wishes Flex Phillips well in his future endeavors and looks forward to working with him in the future. COACH Naw, son, that nigga ain't shit. God of Thunder hits, and Thunderkid makes his way out to the ring. COLE And Thunderkid set for action here on HeldDOWN~! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Making his way to the ring, hailing from Green Bay, Wisconsin, weighing in at 250 pounds...THUNDERKID!!!!! COLE Thunderkid, who just two weeks ago, lost the OAOAST Heartland title to Felix Strutter, who then took the belt with him to WDW! COACH And no doubt that weighs heavily on the mind of TK! BUFFER His opponent, hailing from Charleston, South Carolina, weighing in at 230 pounds...Nick Henderson! COLE Tremendous opportunity for young Nick Henderson, getting into the national spotlight taking on Thunderkid! TK and Henderson tie up, and Henderson grabs a side headlock. He digs in, but TK eventually backs him into the ropes, then pushes him off to the other side, flooring him with a shoulderblock! COACH And Henderson's not going to win that battle! Henderson backs into a corner and sizes TK up, then moves out and delivers a foot to the gut. He then goes to the eyes, and executes a bodyslam! COLE But he does as some power, as we see right here! Henderson drops an elbow, and covers... 1... 2... Kickout with AUTHORITY~! COLE But so does TK! COACH Yes, he does! Henderson moves back over and picks up TK, attempting an Irish whip. TK reverses, and lifts Henderson in the air in a PRESS SLAM~! COLE And here's some more of it! Henderson is slammed hard on his back, then clotheslined! TK executes a second clothesline, then calls out to the crowd, which cheers in response! TK follows with a belly-to-belly, then signals for the end! COLE And TK setting up young Nick Henderson! TK hooks Henderson in a front facelock...then picks him up, and drops him with the THUNDERBOLT DDT~!!!!!11111 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COLE And an impressive win for TK! BUFFER The winner of the match...THUNDERKID!!!!! TK has his hand raised by the referee, then asks Buffer for the mic. TK You know, I've done a lot of thinking over the past two weeks. Not only did I lose the Heartland title, but I lost it to a WDW wrestler. And I let down the people in the OAOAST. TK drops his head for a second, while getting a symphathetic reaction from the crowd. TK As a result, there's only one logical solution. TK pulls a ticket out of a pocket on his boot, causing the crowd to cheer. TK This Monday, I'm going to be at the World Domination Wrestling show. I'll be sitting right down there in the front row, and I'll have a big announcement to make. And I promise that when the dust has cleared, I will bring that belt back to the OAOAST! TK leaves the ring as God of Thunder plays. COLE A big announcement tonight, and another one expected this Monday from Thunderkid, he's got his sights set on getting the belt back for the OAOAST! Fans we will have more of OAOAST HeldDOWN after this commercial break. Eerie music plays as a large silhouette is shown walking across a hallway. Shots of "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican are shown on the walls. The silhouette is revealed to be Bohemoth. Bo walks across another hallway. BOHEMOTH I am his bearer of bad news. Cut to a shot of PRL laughing manically. BOHEMOTH I am his angel of death. Cut to a shot of PRL taunting the fans. Cut to Bohemoth lifting weights. BOHEMOTH I am his worst nightmare. Cut to PRL walking to the ring with a swagger in his step. BOHEMOTH I am his grim reaper. Cut to Bohemoth flexing his muscles. Footage of PRL sneering at the camera is played on a wall next to Bohemoth. BOHEMOTH I am his jinx. Cut to Bohemoth staring off into nothingness. BOHEMOTH I am his Achilles heel. Cut to PRL laughing manically again. BOHEMOTH I am his weakness. Cut to Bohemoth flexing and then staring into the camera. BOHEMOTH On May 27th, I am his judge. His jury. And his executioner. Cut to a guillotine coming down. Cut to a screen with the information about OAOAST School's Out 2007. VOICEOVER Publix Supermarket presents OAOAST School's Out! Sunday May 27th at 8:00 p.m. EST/5:00 p.m. PST. Call your local cable or satellite operator to order now! The eerie music ends. COMMERCIAL BREAK EWC SEZ: Dance Dance Dragon gets right back up as the crowd rallies behind him. The Bemani Bruiser exits the ring and climbs the top rope. He waits for Tha Puerto Rican to get up. COLE We are about to see a flying dragon! COACH Look out PRL! Get the hell out of the way! Dragon motions for P.R. to get to his feet. P.R. slowly sits up. He then starts to get to his feet with Popick trying to warn him that Dragon's on the top rope. COLE Dragon looking to win his first OAOAST singles title tonight! COACH It's not going to happen! IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! The crowd is fired up. PRL is on his right knee. He then gets to his own two feet again. POPICK TURN AROUND! TURN AROUND! COACH YEAH! TURN AROUND! Tha Puerto Rican is severly weakened. His eyes are glazed over. The Corporate Champ turns around-- Dance Dance Dragon leaps off the top rope-- ---Flying crossbody! 1... 2... PRL rolls through, and now he is covering Dragon! He's grabbing the tights! 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE No! A kickout! COACH That wasn't the finish!? COLE No Coach! Believe it or not, that was not the finish! The match continues! COACH Aw dammit! PRL is stunned that wasn't the finish. He demands that Hebner be reprimdaded by the OAOAST Championship Committee for what he perceives as biased officiating. The crowd, however, is relieved that the match is still going on. Stephen Joseph Popick is close to having a heart attack. He runs his hand through his hair and wipes the sweat off of his forehead. COLE Dance Dance Dragon is giving PRL a run for his money tonight! COACH Shut up! PRL is distracted by Bohemoth is all! It's not like Dragon is in PRL's league! COLE He might be after tonight! COACH Oh hush up, you! The Corporate Champion picks the Strong Style Party Animal up by his mask. Rock punch! And then, PRL grabs Dragon by his right arm and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes--Dragon reverses--PRL reverses the reversal, and Dragon bounces off the ropes. SPINEBUSTER~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COACH Oh yeah! Here we go! Here we go! It's time! It's time! It's time! COLE The thousands in attendance are on their feet! Tha Puerto Rican is going for the IntenseZone Elbow! Dance Dance Dragon lies knocked out in the centre of the ring. PRL taunts the crowd as he walks on over to where Dragon is lying and kicks his right hand onto his chest. The crowd starts booing loudly. PRL removes his right elbow pad, spits on it, and throws it down onto Dragon's chest. He then does the weird hand signals and bounces off the ropes, leaps over Dragon...and stops in his tracks. PRL is distracted by something in the aisleway. COLE What the--? Why? Why did PRL stop? How come? COACH I--I don't know, Cole! Tha Puerto Rican's mouth is wide open as he exits the ring. The crowd is as puzzled as Cole and Coach are. PRL walks on over to the edge of the entrance ramp and finds... a tombstone. COLE Whoa. Is that--is that what I think it is? COACH That looks like a tombstone! COLE Where did it come from? COACH Why would someone bring a tombstone into the arena! There's an empty grave somewhere! Tha Puerto Rican looks over the tombstone, and is HORRIFIED at what he reads. Because, enscribed on the tombstone is the following: THA PUERTO RICAN SEPTEMBER 12, 1979 - MAY 27, 2007 THE CHAMP IS DEAD! COLE Oh my. That's Tha Puerto Rican's own tombstone! COACH Who did this!? Bohemoth! Did he do this!? He's trying to mess with Tha Puerto Rican! COLE How creepy is it to look at your own tombstone? How much damage to your psyche must that do? COACH How can he do this? What has PR done to deserve this? COLE Look at the date of death. May 27th, 2007. The date of School's Out. It looks like Bohemoth is sending a message to Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Bohemoth, this isn't right! You're terrifying the poor guy! PRL is speechless as he stares at his tombstone. The crowd is shocked by it too. But then they start cheering when Bohemoth shows up again on the entrance stage! COLE And he's back! Bohemoth is here again! COACH He's crazy! Bohemoth really is crazy! PRL looks up and is spooked out. Bohemoth smiles as he starts walking down the entrance ramp. PRL immediatley starts walking backwards back to the ring. THA PUERTO RICAN You stay away from me! STAY AWAY FROM ME! YOU HEAR! STAY AWAY FROM ME, YOU JOCKASS! COLE Bohemoth and PRL will meet at School's Out on May 27th, but until then they cannot touch each other! So I guess Bohemoth will try to psych PRL out until then, and so far, it looks like it's working! COACH I've never seen PRL like this! NEVER! COLE That's because he's never faced someone like Bohemoth! PRL is *this* close to a mental breakdown! COACH Poor PRL. COLE You might be the only person in the world saying that right now. COACH Not true. The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick feel the same way! COLE Touche. "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" COACH SHUT UP WITH THAT CHANT! COLE It might come true on May 27th! PRL is trembling as he walks back to the ring. Bohemoth just chuckles as he walks down the entrance ramp across the aisle. Finally, PRL rolls back into the ring. He continues telling Bohemoth to stay away from him as his voice cracks and he shakes nervously in the ring. PRL Stay away from me, you hear? Just stay away from me! STAY AWAY FROM ME! YOU HEAR ME!? STAY AWAY FROM ME! STAY AWAY FROM-- Dance Dance Dragon lifts PRL up! COLE He's not gonna! He's got him up! COACH Oh no! Oh no! Dance Dance Dragon has "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican up on his shoulders. The crowd cheers loudly. PRL is too stunned to do anything. BEMANI BUSTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111 COLE The Bemani Buster! The Bemani Buster! Dance Dance Dragon has got PRL right where he wants him! COACH Oh no! Get up! GET UP! Dance Dance Dragon covers Tha Puerto Rican. Stephen Joseph Popick is shaking his head. Bohemoth watches as Earl Hebner makes the count with the crowd counting along. 1... 2... 2 1/2 2.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" *DING DING DING* (9:19) COLE Dragon did it! He finally did it! We got a new X-Division Champion! DDD immediatley gets up and raises his hands in victory! The crowd goes wild as "Hung Up" by Madonna starts playing. Referee Earl Hebner grabs the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt from the timekeeper and hands it over to Dragon. BUFFER Here is your winner...and NEW One And Only AngleSault Thread X-Division Champion...DANCE DANCEEEEEEEEEEEE DRAGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! PRL lies on the mat, covering his face in shame. Dance Dance Dragon raises the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt over his head and jumps up and down while the crowd cheers loudly. Bohemoth chuckles a little as he watches PRL lie on the mat miserable. COLE Dance Dance Dragon has gotten his revenge for what happened at AngleMania! He is now the NEW X-Division Champion, the first title he's ever held in his OAOAST career! COACH This is not right! PRL was distracted! Why didn't the referee get Bohemoth out of there! Why didn't the referee get that tombstone out of there? Since when is a tombstone a normal part of a ringside area!? COLE It's too late to anything now! PRL's OAOAST X-Division Title reign is over! COACH Oh, and it was a short reign too! This was only his second title defense! COLE And yet he's defended it two more times than Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez has defended the OAOAST Women's Championship! COACH Oh let's not start! Hush up! Dance Dance Dragon heads to a second turnbuckle and raises his newly won OAOAST X-Division Championship belt over his head to LOUD cheers. Dragon then heads to another second turnbuckle and raises the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt over his head again. Dragon gets off the second turnbuckle and raises the belt over his head as "Hung Up" continues playing. PRL is crawling in the ring now, crushed at his loss. Bohemoth applauds Dragon from the outside. COLE Bohemoth did a really good job psyching out Tha Puerto Rican tonight! COACH He's going to pay. Oh, he will pay. Bo's NOT gonna kill PRL! PRL's gonna kill Bo! At School's Out, in the Hell In A Cell, PRL will get HIS REVENGE! COLE Well, one thing's for sure. The X-Division Title will no longer be on the line in the Hell In A Cell Match at School's Out. It's all about pride now! COACH It's now all about Tha Puerto Rican ENDING THE CAREER OF BOHEMOTH AT SCHOOL'S OUT! Dance Dance Dragon starts busting a move in the middle of the ring with the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt over his left shoulder. The crowd cheers some more. PRL watches while sitting on his ass in the ring. COLE Dance Dance Dragon has pulled off the upset. It's the biggest win of his career thus far! Dance Dance Dragon is the NEW One And Only AngleSault Thread X-Division Champion, ending PRL's title reign in less than 2 months! PRL turns his attention to Bohemoth, who is staring right at him. PRL has a look of fear and anger on his face. He is shaking as he continues staring at his future opponent. COLE And now, Tha Puerto Rican can focus on his future, because, in just three weeks time, Tha Puerto Rican will be locked inside the Hell In A Cell against Bohemoth! One-on-one! There's no going back for Tha Puerto Rican! On May 27th at School's Out from the Toyota Center in Houston, Texas, "The Metrosexual Monster" Bohemoth and "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican will collide! The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. The camera cuts to the parking lot where The Lightning Crew Mobile is pulling into the stadium. The crowd boos. COLE We just saw the ending of the PRL/Dance Dance Dragon match from last week's HeldDOWN~!, and now, the FORMER OAOAST X-Division Champion is arriving here tonight for HeldDOWN~!. The front door opens, and "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican comes out. He is not in a good mood either. PRL is in his Corporate suit and tie. He grabs his black spray-painted briefcase and slams the front door. The rest of The Lightning Crew (minus Vitamin X and Princess Stacey) and Stephen Joseph Popick come out of the car. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN No more messing around tonight! I'm gonna confront Bohemoth man-to-man because I AM a man, and that's what men do! CUBAN WALL That's right boss! THA PUERTO RICAN I'm gonna teach that no good muscle bound IDIOT what happens when you mess with me! I'm not waiting for the Hell In A Cell on the 27th! We is gonna do this TONIGHT! MR. BORICUA GRRRRRRRRRR! THE BONE THUG ARRIBA LA RAZA~! THA PUERTO RICAN Come on, let's go! PRL orders The Lightning Crew and Popick to follow him. The LC and Popick walk towards the exit. PRL BOHEMOTH! BOHEMOTH! COME OUT BOHEMOTH! COME OUT COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE! I'VE GOT MY CREW WITH ME! YOU SCARED NOW!? HUH!? ARE YOU SCARED!? COLE PRL calling out Bohemoth. The former X-Division Champion is looking for some payback this week! COACH Unless Bohemoth is scared, PRL's gonna get his payback tonight! I can feel it! PRL You don't scare me big guy! I'm not some wussy! I'm a MAN! So come on out and fight me like a man! Come on! Come on! COLE But if Bohemoth fights him, then the Hell In A Cell Match is cancelled! COACH Oh. That would be SO sad. *snicker* PRL Come on! Come on! BOHEMOTH! BOHEMOTH! WHERE ARE YOU!? WHERE IN THE WORLD ARE YOU!? COME ON YOU PUNK ASS BITCH! COME ON OUT! AND FIGHT ME! COME ON! COME ON! COME ON! Suddenly, PRL stops in his tracks when he sees a T-shirt on the ground. Puerto picks up the T-shirt, and is a little shaken when he sees that it's a white PRL T-shirt...covered in blood. COLE More mindgames from Bohemoth! PRL is speechless. He's so shocked, he doesn't notice when-- *BAM!* DANCE DANCE DRAGON appears and knocks him out with a lead pipe! COLE Hey! Wait a minute! Dance Dance Dragon is here! COACH WHAT DID HE JUST DO? The Lightning Crew and Popick freak out! Dance Dance Dragon (wearing the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt around his waist), holds the lead pipe and dares The Lightning Crew to attack. The Bone Thug goes first, and he gets hit in the gut with the lead pipe! Mr. Boricua charges after Dragon, Dragon ducks, and hits Mr. B upside the head with the lead pipe! Stephen Joseph Popick charges forward, and he gets hit over his head with the lead pipe! Cuban Wall goes for Dragon, but gets hit in the stomach and collapses. Thomas Rodriguez then goes for a shot, but then changes his mind when he sees Dragon staring at him. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez screams the entire time. The crowd cheers! COLE I don't believe it! Dance Dance Dragon has taken out The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick! COACH Aw geez! First last week, now this! COLE Dance Dance Dragon has laid waste to Tha Puerto Rican! PRL is out cold! Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Thomas Rodriguez run to get help. Dance Dance Dragon looks over what he's done, and then looks off screen...until BOHEMOTH steps into the shot. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH Oh no. Not him! Not him! Bohemoth looks at what Dance Dance Dragon has done and smiles. BOHEMOTH Good work. I'll take it from here! Triple D nods his head, and then does the running man to show that he likes Bohemoth (I guess). The NEW OAOAST X-Division Champion walks away. Bohemoth walks over to where Tha Puerto Rican is lying and bends down so that he's face-to-face with him. BOHEMOTH You and me are going to have a little talk. Bohemoth picks Tha Puerto Rican up by his head and slings him over his right shoulder. The crowd cheers as Bohemoth walks away with Tha Puerto Rican over his right shoulder and Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug, and Stephen Joseph Popick knocked out. COLE Where's Bohemoth taking him? Where are they going!? COACH I don't know. But one thing I DO know is that Bohemoth is SOOOO dead at School's Out! PRL's Gonna Kill Him! PRL's Gonna Kill Him! PRL's Gonna Kill Him! COLE We'll be right back! COMMERCIAL BREAK The OAOAST EventTracker is brought to you by Gillette. The best a man can get. May 24- Dallas, Texas (SOLD OUT) May 27 (School's Out) - Houston, Texas(SOLD OUT) May 31- Tupelo, Mississippi

The (TV) screen goes black, and the following appears on the screen. The following announcement was paid for by World Domination Wrestling. Soft music accompanied by wind instruments plays, and a spotlight slowly raises over an all black wrestling ring with red ring ropes. (voiceover) In the beginning, the land was pure. Even in the early morning light, you could see the beauty in the forms of nature. Head shot of Alfdogg looking off into the distance. Soon men and women of every color... Shot of an Asian man doing martial arts poses in the shadows. And shape... Shot of an overweight tattooed man wearing colorful clothing. Would be here too. And they would find it all too easy sometimes not to see the colors... Shot of Chris Stevens smashing said tattooed man from behind with a mirror. ...and to ignore the beauty in each other. Shot of Alf delivering a beltshot to CWM. But they would never lose sight of the dream. Head shot of Stevens looking off into the distance. The bitter world that they could unite... Head shot of Axel staring off into the distance. And build together...in Triumph. As the last line is spoken, a camera shot from the ground is shown with a red tint, with Rick Heyross, Alfdogg, and Axel standing left to right and looking down into the camera smiling. The screen then fades into another announcement. World Domination Wrestling presents: WDW Triumph Coming Saturday, June 2 Can You Feel It? One more time we go to the boiler room where Bohemoth is pacing back and forth. The crowd cheers. "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican is still sitting in his chair, blindfolded, with the table and the lamp being all that's there in the boiler room. PRL is shaking in his shoes as Bohemoth stares at him. BOHEMOTH So, we're almost there. Houston, Texas. School's Out. May 27th. You. Me. Hell In A Cell. And PRL, this won't be a match you'll win. I'm being perfectly honest here. PR, you're going to indeed know what hell is like when I meet you in the squared circle on May 27th. You're going to get hurt. And I'm pretty sure it'll be the worst pain you've ever felt in your life. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN Y--yo-you can't take it easy on me? P--p--please? Bohemoth chuckles. BOHEMOTH No, P.R. For if I take it easy, then the fans, and the OAOAST Superstars will be disappointed. You see, this is a match they've been waiting to see for FOUR YEARS. And I intend to make sure that this match lives up to the hype. THA PUERTO RICAN *Gulp* BOHEMOTH Tell me, P.R. What day did you debut in the OAOAST? PRL Uh...March...March 10, 2003. BOHEMOTH March 10, 2003 huh? So, that means you've been in the OAOAST for four years. By School's Out, you would have been in the OAOAST for 1,538 days. So that means, I'm going to punch you 1,538 times in the Hell In A Cell Match. Because every punch will be a punch for a day you've gone unpunished. Every punch will be for everyone single fan, wrestler, and OAOAST personnel who is sick to death of you. Every punch will be painful, but even then, it STILL won't match up to the pain you've caused OVER THE PAST FOUR YEARS! No, P.R., despite all the pain you will endure in the Hell In A Cell, it still won't be enough to make up for what you've done. There's a special place in Hell for you, PRL. And on Sunday, May 27th at School's Out, you will get a special sneak preview of it. Tha Puerto Rican lets out a strange noise. He sniffles. PRL then lets out a louder noise. He then lets out an even louder noise. BOHEMOTH Are you...crying? THA PUERTO RICAN ...No. *Sniffle* BOHEMOTH You're crying. You're actually crying! There's no crying! THERE'S NO CRYING IN WRESTLING! PRL (whisper) I'm sorry. BOHEMOTH What was that? PRL (a little louder) I'm sorry. BOHEMOTH What? I couldn't hear you? PRL OH I'M SORRY! YOU WANT TO HEAR THAT!? I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY FOR CRUSHING THE MAD CAPPA'S LARYNX! I'M SORRY FOR KIDNAPPING AND HURTING LAUREN GELLAR! I'M SORRY FOR SCREWING D*LUX! I'M SORRY FOR TURNING MY BACK ON COLOMBIAN HEAT! I'M SORRY FOR EVERY CHEATING VICTORY I'VE EVER HAD! I'M SORRY FOR EVERY LIE, EVERY CHEAP SHOT, EVERY BEATDOWN I'VE EVER DONE! AND I'M SORRY--OH LET'S JUST SAY I'M SORRY FOR EVER BEING BORN! Tha Puerto Rican breaks down and cries his eyes out. Bohemoth just watches. PRL puts his head on the table and bawls away. Bohemoth stands up and walks on over so that he's standing only two feet away from Tha Puerto Rican. BOHEMOTH Good. Good. You confessed. You have repented for your sins. Unfortunately for you...it's too late to be saved. No. The Hell In A Cell Match will still take place as planned. And it will still be the final match of your career. On May 27th at School's Out, the world will witness PR's Last Stand. For every fan who's had to put up with your CRAP for four years, this match is for them. I'm going to enjoy this match, but not in the way you would enjoy it. No, I'm going to enjoy it because I am going to be the man who stops this terror in the OAOAST. On May 27th, I will be the man who kills the P.R. Menace. On May 27th, I will be the man who puts you on the injured list PERMANTELY. Karma has brought you to Houston, Texas and School's Out. Every bad thing you have ever done has come back to bite you in the ass. And hey, since you won't be around to cash it in, why don't we put that Golden Contract on the line? PRL nods his head quickly. BOHEMOTH Very good. So, in two weeks time, I will have gotten rid of you and have come one step closer to the World Heavyweight Title. P.R., get ready, say your prayers, because in two weeks time, BO'S...GONNA...KILL...YOU! Bohemoth raises his right fist, and then lunges after Tha Puerto Rican! But then stops right before he hits his face! PRL is trembling in fear. Bohemoth gives PRL an angry face and then simply walks away. The crowd hears the sound of a door close, which leads one to assume that Bohemoth has left Tha Puerto Rican alone in the boiler room. PRL collapses onto the floor and starts crying again, quivering like a bowl full of jelly. The crowd is stunned. COLE Wow. COACH My God. COLE Tha Puerto Rican will meet Bohemoth in a Hell In A Cell Match with the Golden Contract on the line. It's one-half of the double main event at School's Out on May 27th. But what I want to know is, after tonight, is PRL mentally prepared to step into the Cell? DON'T FORGET SCHOOL'S OUT, SUNDAY MAY 27TH It'll be like the Alamo all over again (Sorry Texas.) COLE It's baton down the hatches time. Oklahoma City is no stranger to a street fight or two I'm sure, so our main event should be right down these people's alley. So to speak. It's a "Sooner City Street Fight", which means No Disqualifications, anything and everything is legal tonight! For the first time since AngleSlam of 2005, Leon Rodez goes one on one with his old nemesis Christian Wright. But tonight it's not about any past history between these two. Tonight, Leon Rodez looks to get through another Enterprise obstacle on his way to getting his hands on the man he holds responsible for leading his sister to the 'darkside' as it were, Theodore Moneymaker. COACH Well, it had better be about more than Theodore Moneymaker if Leon holds out any hope of getting what he wants, let me tell you now. I know Christian pretty well and he came to the OAOAST with one goal in mind; to eliminate Leon Rodez. And the fact he didn't succeed haunts him to this day. Tonight, there's No Disqualifications and still questions over just how healed up Rodez's neck really is. Tonight may be the night Christian Wright finally makes good on his first promise. COLE Last week, Leon Rodez went through CPA in New Orleans in an impromptu match. No such problems this week. Theodore Moneymaker has managed to get this match fastchecked through and signed up, I'm sure Moneymaker wants to get Rodez out of his hair as soon as possible. COACH No doubt. And who better than his right hand man, CDubya? COLE CDubya? ...nevermind. Folks, this promises to be a real slobberknocker. Unfortunately, as Jivin' JR is contracted to WDW, he won't be here to say that and technically myself and Coach'll shouldn't either. But it wouldn't be Oklahoma without it now would it? "BREEEAAAK!!" "Tear Away" by Drowning Pool powers through the Bricktown Ballpark and straight out of first base come The Enterprise representatives. Plural, as Christian Wright walks out behind Mackenzie DeCenzo, The Chief Financial Officer of The Enterprise leading out the Financial Analyst. With his trusty briefcase in hand, Wright straightens out his jacket and tie as he marches with his head held high, brushing off the advances of the Oklahoma fans. BUFFER The following contest is your Main Event of the evening and is a Sooner City Street Fight! Introducing first, he is accompanied to the ring by The Chief Financial Officer of The Enterprise, MACKENZIE DECENZO! Now residing in Washington, D.C... weighing in at eight and one-third BARS of GOLD! He is the Financial Analyst for THE ENTERPRISE... "THE NATURAL" CCHHHRRRRRRIIIIISSTTIIIIIIAAAAAAANN WWRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHHTT!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Eight and a third bars of gold, wow! COLE What the hell does that even mean? COACH It means moolah. Dosh. Cash. Scratch. Wonga. Mazzingah. Wazoo. Shabam. Money baby, pure money! COLE Weren't those all 1980's hair-metal bands? Climbing the ring steps with arrogance dripping off of him (at least I think that's what it is), Christian ducks into the ring and raises the briefcase for all of Oklahoma to see. Boos again ring out over the applause of Mackenzie DeCenzo, Christian sticking his nose up at the reception as he removes of his expensive entrance garb. He entrusts his briefcase to Mackie, who leaves the ring and places it carefully underneath the bottom rope, making sure not to disturb the valuable papers inside. COLE Christian certainly doesn't look too worried, but he's about to come face to face with an old enemy in just a few moments. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" .:CUE: Trust Company, "Rock The Casbah":. The crowd cease the chants and on cue they erupt, as batting clean-up, out storms LEON RODEZ!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" BUFFER And, from Grand Rapids Michigan... weighing in at two hundred, eighteen pounds... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Not breaking stride, Leon dives into the ring before the introductions are even over with, Wright ducking himself between the top and middle ropes and calling for referee Charles Robinson to keep The Grand Rapids Golden Child at bay! Leon holds up his hands defensively as Robinson backs him up, not after any sneak-attacks but eager to get the match underway. COLE What a reaction for Leon Rodez in Oklahoma tonight! COACH Eh, I'm sure that's a nice little comfort for him now his sister isn't there to clap and cheer his every move. But these fans don't mean a thing to CDub, trust me. As Leon hops around impatiently in his corner, Wright passes his tie and shirt out of the ring along with his jacket, taking his time over getting himself ready. Finally he seems to be suitably undressed though and with some last words of encouragement from Mackenzie he turns to the man he warred with for so long in 2005 and stares him down. *DINGDINGDING!* As soon as the bell sounds, Wright wheels around and snatches his briefcase back from under the bottom turnbuckle, rushing at Rodez... but he gets cut off with a boot to the gut! Right hand from Leon! And another! A third! A fourth! Wright is still hanging onto the briefcase but only by the handle now, as yet another big right rocks him. Fired up, Leon reels around to drum up yet more support from the crowd. But as he does so he finally remembers the briefcase, snatching out of Wright's hands and quickly bringing it down... MACKENZIE ...NO! BLOCKED BY WRIGHT! COACH Oh, that was close! Able to get his hands up and block, a tug of war ensues over the metal briefcase for a moment before Wright finally lands with a kick to the gut. The briefcase goes flying out of the ring, the least of Wright's concerns now as he looks to payback Rodez, firing away a couple of big right hands of his own. As Leon gets backed up, Wright throws in a European Uppercut to mix things up, one more punch putting Leon up against the ropes and setting up an irish whip. Ducking his head early, Wright soon regrets that though, as he gets caught with a kick hard in the chest! That snaps him upright, for a clothesline that snaps him down to the canvas! And The Silky Smooth One is ALL fired up! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Up staggers CW, walking right into a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels... *SMACK!* ...and nailing Wright upside the head with the enziguri! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! Through the ropes and to the outside goes Christian. Whether it's through his own fruition or not is another matter as he stumbles into the barricade, Mackenzie ready to rush over to his aid until she realises Leon is going to beat her to it. She manages to scuttle away but Wright is not so lucky, Leon spinning him around and ramming his face into the guardrail! The over-zealous fans in the front row pat The Silky Smooth One on the back and just generally annoy Wright as he tries to get away, wandering off around ringside. Rodez follows right behind him, again guiding Wright's head into the top of the guardrail! COLE Remember, anything goes here in this Street Fight, but you have to win the match inside of the ring. COACH And that's what Rodez wants here. Punishing CW is all fine and well, but if he wants to get to Teddy, he's going to have to win this match. Bottom line. Still staggering around ringside, Wright realises that he isn't going to get the breather he's searching for and tries to stave Leon off with some offence rather than defence. However, his kick to the gut is blocked. Rodez catches the boot and with Wright hopping on one leg, he places the other leg on the ring apron. Not showing any great flexibility, that leaves Wright stuck precariously for a moment, long enough for Leon to sweep out the standing leg, dropping Wright with a thud on the ringside mats!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Wright clutches his head as Rodez's attention turns to Mackenzie, a look all that's needed to warn her out of getting involved. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" With the Oklahoma crowd in his corner, Leon pulls Wright back up... *THUD!* ...and this time rams him head into the announce table, Wright's face bouncing off violently and his eyes rolling as he collapses across the table. COACH That's it Christian, lure him in! Rope-a-dope baby, rope-a-dope! COLE If only someone would rope the dope next to me. As Wright recovers, he's being stalked, Leon lying in wait behind him. Wright takes a moment to discern that the face in front of him isn't his opponent but Michael Cole, the urge to punch him not as great as the urge to punch Rodez, thus he turns around... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and takes a knifedge chop across the chest! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a second! COLE Man, they are right in front of us! If Leon hits Christian any harder, he's gonna be right in our laps! COACH Phff, you wish! OH! A big right hand almost does indeed send Christian into the laps of our beloved announce team, leaving Wright splayed out across the table. As Coach and Cole quickly grabs their headsets and anything really valuable, Leon grabs Christian by the EARS and lifts his head up off the table, before SLAMMING it back down again! The table shakes underneath Wright from the impact and with The Natural seeing stars, Leon climbs onto the ring apron, pointing down on Wright and asking the crowd whether he should do something so risky as to dive onto him. "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" The response is pretty unanimous. COLE Uh-oh! This does not look good for Christian Wright... or our table! Rodez isn't one to disappoint the people and with the crowd behind him, he eyes up the distance to dive... ...and gets an eyeful of Mackenzie DeCenzo, as she scuttles over, positioning herself between the ring and the announce table pleading with Leon not to do what he's thinking of doing. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Rolling his eyes, Leon motions for referee Charles Robinson to get Mackenzie out of the way. Technically there's nothing he can do though and Leon's plans are hampered. But, perhaps not ruined. Turning his head to the right, Leon again asks the crowd what they think he should do. "JUMP!" "JUMP!" "JUMP!" "JUMP!" And again, unanimous. COLE Uh... Mackenzie might want to get herself out of the way. Quickly. Leon turns his attentions back to Wright who still hasn't been able to peel himself off the table. And a smirk creeps across Rodez's face. Suddenly Mackenzie doesn't feel quite so brave and begs for her own safety as well as her fellow Enterprise member's, but Leon's mind is set, leaning back into the ropes and LAUNCHING HIMSELF OFF THE APRON... *CRASH!* "OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...AND RIGHT THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE, SOLO, AS MACKENZIE DRAGS CHRISTIAN CLEAR!!!! COACH HAHA!! Brilliant! COLE My God! Leon Rodez, crashing and burning right through our announce table! And just in the nick of time, Mackenzie DeCenzo came to the aid of Christian Wright, otherwise he'd been somewhere amongst the wreckage as well! COACH But he's not! He was saved, thanks to an ingenious move from Mackie, drawing Rodez into a false sense of security and letting him wipe himself out! COLE False sense of security!? Give me a break! Mackenzie and Christian look amazed to have escape unscathed, Mackie checking that CW is okay after noticing a lump on his head. A bump on the noggin seems pretty tame in comparison to Rodez's predicament as he lays on top of the remnants of the table, holding his ribs after his missed dive. Wright seems to be okay to continue thankfully, the small bruise on his forehead not enough to stop this tremendous competitor~! Dragging Leon out of the table wreckage, Wright drags him and tosses him back into the ring where the match can be won, but doesn't follow after him, taking his time to adjust his elbowpads. With those sorted, Wright then seems to check on his pants. However, it's certainly not for aesthetics that he removes the leather belt from around his waist. COACH Oh yeah! Whip him like a government mule, bah gawd! COLE Well, that's a lawsuit. With the belt looped in his hand, Wright stalks over Rodez now, daring him to get to his feet. Grimacing, Rodez tries to do just that, but as soon as he reaches all-fours... *THWACK!* "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...he gets WHIPPED right across the back with the leather belt!! COACH Take him to the woodshed! *THWACK!* "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" A second time the belt comes down, Leon's back beginning to welt up already. As he writhes in pain, Leon finds himself in even greater trouble now though as Wright wraps the belt around his throat and pins him chest-down on the mat with a boot, pulling up on the belt AND CHOKING THE LIFE OUT OF LEON!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Come on now! COACH This is business at it's most ruthless Mikey! Infact, you might even call it 'cutthroat business'! Huh? Get it? COLE I get it. And I also get that this is a Street Fight, so anything Christian Wright does here is legal, including trying to choke Rodez until he passes out! Wright doesn't go quite that far, releasing the belt and therefore the choke on the protestations of referee Robinson. Unravelling the tape around his wrists, Wright now brings the near-lifeless Leon up off the canvas, setting him up on the ropes. Wright then looks for an irish whip, bringing Leon out only to arm's length before reeling right back into a Stun Gun! As Rodez's neck whiplashes off the top rope a groan goes through the Oklahoma crowd, concerned for The Silky Smooth One's safety as Wright makes the first cover of the match... 1... 2... Kickout! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE And this crowd trying to get behind Rodez here, trying to will him on with their support. COACH Like that'll help. It was their support that got Leon into this situation in the first place, if he hadn't have gotten so carried away he probably wouldn't have dove through our table! Bringing Leon up again, Wright drives a clubbing forearm in between the shoulder blades. And another. With a front facelock, Wright then sets Leon up, perhaps looking for the Gordbuster or even the Conversation Rate already... BLOCKED! Rodez gets his foot behind Wright's and stops the lift. Freeing his leg, Wright tries again... BLOCKED AGAIN, into a Small Package this time... 1... 2... NO! Wright escapes the cradle and dives onto Leon with a blatant choke, nothing referee Robinson can do about it! Wright grinds away with the choke for a few seconds until the fight seems to escape from Leon, before making a lateral press... 1... 2... Kickout! MACKENZIE Come on Charles, that's lazy and you know it! Leaving Mackenzie to worry about the count, Wright brings Rodez back up again with a front facelock. Again he goes to the back with a forearm, softening Leon up a little more before double underhooking the arms. From there he drags Leon into the centre of the ring before bringing him up and over the shoulder. Leon kicks his legs a little but not enough to put up any real resistance, as Wright drops to his knees, BENDING Rodez's spine over his shoulder!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Nightmare On Wallstreet! That's it, it's over! Wright clearly thinks so too, waving the match off as he hooks the leg... 1... 2... 3- NO!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Famous last words Coach! It is not over, not yet! COACH You've got to be kidding me! Both Wright and Mackenzie take issue this time as the referee defends his count, saying it was 2 and seven-eighths. Frustrated, Wright puts his hands on his hips and just glares at Leon trying to fight doggedly back to his feet, before turning to the outside and giving some instructions to Mackenzie. Quickly Mackie scuttles around ringside and retrieves Christian's briefcase, sliding it into the ring for him while he lands a boot upside the head of Rodez. COLE Watch out, this wouldn't be the first time that briefcase scored a knockout in the OAOAST. Usually it's behind the referee's back of course... As Leon tries to shake off the effects of the kickout and crawls towards the ropes, Wright grabs his trusty briefcase and raises it proudly above his head, the lights gleaming off it as as the Oklahoma crowd part-jeer, part try to warn Leon of what's coming. Using the ropes to pull himself up, Leon clutches at his ribs. A grimace etches on his face as he forces himself off the ropes, fists clenched, turning around ready to fight... *THUD!* "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...RIGHT INTO A HOMERUN SWING WITH THE METAL BRIEFCASE!! COLE Right between the eyes! COACH And that my friends is case closed! As the briefcase settles in the corner, now sporting a noticeable dent on one side, Wright smirks away as he drops down, hooks the leg... 1... 2... 3 NOOOO!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH WHAT!? COLE HE KICKED OUT! Wright sits up with a look of complete shock on his face, locking eyes with Mackenzie who has a carbon copy look on her face on the floor. The Oklahoma crowd are roaring now as Wright scrambles to his feet, collaring referee Charles Robinson and pinning him in a corner as he fumes at the percieved slow count. Robinson insists it was a two again though and Wright storms away, kicking the ring ropes! "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" The crowd make themselves heard again and try to encourage Leon, as Wright has finally turned his attentions back onto him, crouched down in the corner and encouraging Rodez to get back up. Despite having kicked out of the pin, it's clear Leon's brains have been scrambled by the briefcase shot. And as he slowly climbs to his feet he's dis-orientated, stumbling around in search of Christian who shuffles out of the corner with a Superki... ...DUCKED! Rodez avoids the kick, catching Wright on the way back with an Inverted Atomic Drop, before dropping CW with a right hand in a 'HeartBreaKing' comeback! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE Leon fighting back here! I'm sure somewhere Theodore Moneymaker is throwing a fit watching this! Up pops Christian again, taking another right hand! A third time he goes down, CW getting turned into a human pinball now as the adrenaline begins to flow through The Grand Rapids Golden Child! As he comes back up this time Christian throws up his hands and tries to beg off. The time for begging off has long passed though... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and Rodez strikes with a knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a second! Wright is barely standing now as Rodez suddenly detours, retrieving Christian's leather belt just before Mackenzie can get across and pull it out of his grasp. With the belt looped up Leon then strikes CW under the jaw with an uppercut, which exposes the chest again... *THWACK!* "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...for a 'chop' with the leather belt, knocking Christian clean off his feet!! COLE Good Lord what a sound! As Leon whips the belt around his head and whips the Oklahoma crowd into a frenzy with it, Wright wisely bails out of the ring to gain some respite. Picking up a bottle of water from ringside Christian dumps the entire contents on his burning chest to try and aliviate the pain which doesn't feel do much except make him wet. Eventually Rodez dumps the belt and rolls out of the ring in hot pursuit of Wright again. So concerned with his chest, Wright doesn't notice Leon coming up behind him and grabs him behind the head... *THUD!* ...SLAMMING IT INTO THE RING STEPS!! COACH You know what, this is completely unfair! COLE Since when!? COACH Since the start! Christian is not a brawler, he is not a fan of fighting in these sort of no disqualification matches, never has been. COLE Maybe he should have mentioned it before Moneymaker put him in the match. Wright slumps over the ring steps as underneath the ring searches Leon, coming out with a trash can lid in hand. With the metal lid in hand Leon waits, lining Christian up as he turns around... ...but a knee to the gut cuts him off! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH Look at the courage though! Even in this unfamiliar environment Christian is still braving the fight. Bravo sir! COLE Oh brother. As the trash can lid drops safely to the ring apron, in lunges Wright with another knee to buy himself more time to clear his head. Once that's taken care around, CW looks around and suddenly a lightbulb goes off in his head. Front facelock on, Wright hooks Leon up for a suplex, lifting him up and hanging his feet over the ring apron, the crowd getting another sinking feeling as they realise this is the set-up to the Conversion Rate! However, Leon realises at the same time and manages to do something about it besides screaming and booing, jabbing Wright up under the ribs with his free hand. Jab after jab lands as Leon fights off an imminent return to the DL list... and manages to free himself from the facelock, crawling back under the bottom rope and into the ring. At which point, he comes back across the trash can lid... *THUD!* ...and CRACKS Wright over the skull as he climbs to the apron and begins to duck back into the ring!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Wright manages to grab the middle rope in his daze, saving himself from falling to the floor. Rodez pulls him back up on the apron though, hooking him up and bringing him in the hard way with a Suplex! COLE Is that going to be enough... 1... 2... NO! Mackenzie is the sole voice applauding Christian, but more than makes up for the lack in numbers as she screams her support. COLE As both men grow more and more weary, this is turning into a battle of attrition. And I have to believe that Leon has all the motivation to pull him through this match successfully! COACH Phooey. There's no motivation that can match the motivation of money. And Mr. Moneymaker can provide much more of that motivation than anyone I know! Dragging Wright to his feet with him, Leon ducks behind and sets CW up for a back suplex. CW tries to fight him, dropping to his knee and going deadweight. But Rodez gets another surge of energy and lifts him up, all the way up before spinning him out into a Blue Thunder Bomb! COLE IT'S DA BOOM! 1... 2... KICKOUT!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Holding his head, Leon realises he needs yet another wind and he's already on his fourth or fifth. Shoving Wright away from him up climbs Leon and across the ring he walks trying to clear his head. Meanwhile Wright drags himself up in the corner, slumped against the turnbuckles and relying on the ropes to keep him up it seems. Rodez turns on his heels and charges, Wright not showing any signs of life... until up comes his boot, catching Leon coming in the jaw! "OOOHHHHHHHHH!" Rodez goes stumbling backwards, as Wright forces himself out of the corner and CONNECTS WITH A SPEAR!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH YES! Wearily, Wright hooks up the leg... 1... 2... NO, not enough! WRIGHT THAT'S IT!! In a rare lack of flamboyant prose, Wright makes it pretty clear what he's saying for once as he is clearly tired of the fight and signals for the end. Slowly Leon climbs back up, both men sweating bullets and drained of energy but Leon feeling it all the more after that Spear. Wright is able to measure his man, loading up with the right arm. And as Leon turns around, Wright throws a big Clothesli... ...DUCKED! Wright slams on the brakes and turns around, into a Clothesli... ...DUCKED! It's Leon missing the clothesline this time, Wright setting and throwing a Dropki... ...BLOCKED! Leon catches the legs and as Mackenzie clasps a hand to her mouth in shock, The Silky Smooth One painfully turns Wright s l o w l y over onto his front, pinning his knee into the back and applying a LIONTAMER!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Submission hold! Leon with a modified boston crab... Suddenly, Leon drops to one knee ALMOST BENDING WRIGHT IN HALF!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" MACKENZIE COLE ...OH, MY!! *TAPTAPTAPTAP!* "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE HE GAVE IT UP! One more obstacle down!! *DINGDINGDING!* Rodez releases the hold right on the bell and looks a very different Leon Rodez from usual. Breathing heavily and with gritted teeth, Leon glares down at the writhing Natural as referee Charles Robinson raises an arm, signalling him as the winner. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner... "SILKY SMOOTH" LLLEEEEEEOOOOOONN... RRRRRRROOOOOOOOOODDEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE And what an ending to this punishing Street Fight! Leon Rodez put every ounce of anger and frustration behind that submission hold and there was no way Christian could do anything but tap out. The path to Money Manor is still open and if I'm Teddy, I'm sweating a little bit more after what we've seen here tonight. COACH Don't you worry about Theodore Moneymaker. Leon may have won tonight, but The Enterprise didn't become the conglomorate it is today without a few hiccups along the way. COLE From Jonathon Coachman, this is Michael Cole signing off on another edition of HeldDOWN~! We'll see you next week on the last stop before School's Out 2007, goodbye from Oklahoma City! As "Rock The Casbah" plays on, Leon turns his attentions to Mackenzie DeCenzo, who still looks utterly shocked at what she just saw. With a wry smile on his face now, Leon tells Mackie to warn Moneymaker that he's next as he exits the ring, signalling that there's only two more to go as he heads off back down the aisle. With most of the venom gone now Leon is happy to tag a few hands on his way as Mackenzie crawls into the ring, tending to Christian, which is the last image we see before we... FADE OUT.

The camera cuts to the boiler room once again with Bohemoth and Tha Puerto Rican. BOHEMOTH Let's talk about what you did in the summer of 2003. As though crushing Mad Cappa's larynx wasn't enough, you actually managed to stoop to a brand new low when you kidnapped Lauren Gellar and kept her hostage for a week. A week of which was a total hell for her. THA PUERTO RICAN It was only one week. BOHEMOTH A day with you is enough to cause anyone misery, but I digress. Anyway, while you held her captive, you did...things to her. You...this is making me sick just thinking about it...you...tortured her. You...abused her. Did you physically assault her too? Did you sexually molest her? DID YOU!? THA PUERTO RICAN ...Not...really... BOHEMOTH Not really? Not really? WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT REALLY!? PRL ALL RIGHT! Me, and Mr. Boricua, and Vitamin X had our way with her. More than once. Bohemoth looks like he's about to become sick. BOHEMOTH You...had your way with her? Jesus, what did Lindsay think of all of this? PRL Lindsay understands that sometimes you got to do things you're not proud of for the sake of your own career. BOHEMOTH But you were proud, weren't you? Huh? Weren't you? You were proud abusing Lauren. Weren't you? You were happy hearing her scream and cry! Weren't you!? And over what!? A title belt? A piece of tin on a leather strap? PRL Don't disrespect the Puerto Rican Championship like that-- BOHEMOTH SAVE IT, PUERTO! PRL Yes sir! BOHEMOTH You...you...you're a criminal. You're an even bigger piece of slime than I thought. And yet, four years later, you're still in the OAOAST...still wrestling...still going on...like nothing happened. And yet, Lauren Gellar, she's still in therapy. She hasn't forgotten what you did to her, even if you did! Lauren Gellar has to live with the scars from that week for the rest of her life. But not you? Oh no. You can go on like it never happened. Well, guess what, P.R.? At School's Out...I'm gonna make you feel her PAIN! PRL can only let out a tiny squeak upon hearing that. The crowd cheers. COLE The interrogation continues. We return from the break, focused on the commentating position. At the announce table is Mister Theo Moneymaker, outfitted in a sharp pinstriped suit, with a pair of black sunglasses resting atop his gelled brown hair. At his side, sits his trusted business partner, Mackenzie DeCenzo, lithe figure accentuated by a lustrous black boat neck dress, with short puffed out sleeves. COLE I'm being joined at this moment in time by Theodore Moneymaker and Mackenzie DeCenzo of The Enterprise. Welcome aboard! MACKENZIE As always it's a...well, it's not exactly a pleasure, but it sure is something alright. COLE Theodore this week you have offered HI-YAH heavyweight champion Faqu and his on again off again partner James Blonde, six hundred thousand dollars to best Chicks Over Dicks for the tag team titles. Now, the girls have already defeated SWF champion Landon Maddix in tag competition and eliminated him from a battle royal. Not to disrespect HI-YAH, but the competition for the SWF world title is brutally intense, if Alix and Krista can beat Landon Maddix twice, what makes you think Faqu and James Blonde will be able to succeed? MONEYMAKER Money is a very powerful motivational tool, Cole, and I've given them six hundred thousand reasons to be motivated. Before we start this contest, Mackenzie and I would like to offer a warm hello to Jade Rodez, backstage. It's been hard road to unprogram her from Krista's femi-nazi brain washing, but she's an eager learner with a good spirit, and we're on our way to righting her thinking! The shot goes to Michael Buffer, standing in ring, microphone in hand. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a televisied time limit of sixty minutes and it is for the OAOAST world tag team titles. Introducing first the challengers.... When I die and they lay me to rest, Gonna go to the place that's the best When they lay me down to die, Goin up to the spirit in the sky Unless you're some sort of ineffectual, effete pussy bitch, you can no doubt appreciate the fine music that pours from the stadium sound speaker. I'm talking about Spirit In The Sky by Norman Greenbaum, the MOTHER FUCKING MADDEST NOTE WE GOT! Yeah the 70's sucked, but this bitch is on point in any decade, you smell me? Anyway from the parting entrance doors steps James Blonde, attired in dark red trunks, boots, knee pads and elbow pads. He points towards the open sky, raising his finger to the heavens. Why? Because just like Norman says, he's got a friend in Jesus, and when he dies he's gonna recommend him to the spirit in the sky. From behind Blonde, emerges the perpetually sour HI-YAH heavyweight champion. Unable to fit the title across his expansive waistline, Faqu keeps it stashed across his broad shoulder, massaging his nameplate with unwavering confidence. BUFFER First from Vancouver, British Columbia, weighing in at two hundred pounds, The Mover From Vancouver, JAMES BLONDE! And his partner, from the Isle of Samoa, he is the HI-YAH heavyweight champion, weighing three hundred and one pounds, FAQUUUUU! In unusual celebration of having their name announced, Blonde raises his hand for a high five. Faqu is far to focused on acquiring his second piece of gold to lend his attention to Blonde's gestures, and merely continues his trek to the ring. Upon reaching the ring apron, he steps over the ropes, and with a fierce snarl, foists his world championship into the sky. Blonde remains on the outside, loosening his muscles for the all important match ahead. MACKENZIE I've never actually watched any HI-YAH related material, and I don't ever intend on changing that fact, but I can only assume these men are reasonably talented. COLE Didn't the Blonds win the HI-YAH tag titles under your watch? MACKENZIE Well, I try to avoid the Japanese, they're a frighteningly horrific race of people. MONEYMAKER Witness Pearl Harbor! A nation of Napoleonic xenophobes attempting to destroy the fabric that binds the greatest country on earth together. I shudder to think what would happen if the event were to occur today. You'd get Krista and Alix's liberal set in their Nazi regalia, with their unshaven arm pits, and flopping breastages out in front of Capitol Hill demanding that we give peace a chance, and not shine darkness on the land of the rising sun. Terrorists! All of them! Leave no witch unburnt at the stake! Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend! Hey, hey, you, you! I know that you like me! No way, no way! No, it's not a secret Hey, hey, you, you!! I want to be your girlfriend! A magnificent pink pyro waterfall streams from the ceiling, joined by an outpouring of "C-O-D! C-O-D!" chants. From the base of the stage erupts a stunning red pyro fountain. Mingled with the pink majesty, it creates a lustrous conflagration within the stadium walls, it's brilliance shinning so bright it can be witnessed by those driving past the venue. MONEYMAKER Here are the poster girls for the militant dyke agenda! They own enough media power and influence to lead impressionable young women to hell in droves. Dyke propaganda mills-with the eager help of all media outlets-are churning out Satan's black gospel, featuring Alix and Krista, with their same old lying Luciferian theme: It's OK to be gay. Once the red and pink pyro disappears, a majestic golden wall flames across the entirety of the entrance stage, wowing the audience that isn't used to such awesome displays in their tiny stadium. Parting the wave of smoke like Moses with the red sea is the gorgeous figure of Krista Isadora Duncan. Red lips curved into a sly smirk, her head lolls from side to side, flinging golden locks through the sky. A ruffled crimson mini skirt clings to base of her thighs, it's left side cut away to reveal the entirety of her smooth, tanned leg. As if her tantalizing display of skin wasn't enough to delight the crowd, they're further enthralled by her upper body attire of a silver and black Oklahoma Redhawks baseball jersey. Alix is roams across the entry stage, rocking her body to the infectious beat of the song, pumping the crowd into even higher levels of excitement. She's attired herself in a sparkling golden bikini top that's barely more than two strips of material that stretch vertically across her chest, leaving plenty of cleavage and skin bare. A pair of skintight pink booty shorts clings to every curve of her long legs and impressive backside. BUFFER And the champions, first, from Los Angeles, California, she is the CEO of Mrs. Spezia's sweeties, a two time 24/7 champion, ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! And her partner, from Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, she is Miss California Krista Isadora Duncan! Together they are three time world tag team champions, Hollywood "It" Girls, America's Sweethearts, Chicks Over Dicks! Typically Krista has to exert a herculean effort to corral her enthusiastic gal pal. But today, Alix saves her a bit of energy; she unleashes a flurry of steps towards Krista, which feature a healthy element of Elvis thrusts and Saturday Night fever disco tossed in. The hipster moves morph into a series of athletic twirls that are capped by Krista suavely plucking Alix's hand from the air and tapping a kiss onto her knuckles. Krissy's hands journey to her slim waist, touching her bronze skin brushing the side of her stomach and then moving over her lower ribs heading upwards. Alix's head dives backward in pleasure, sending strands of brown hair swinging across the air. Her fingers swipe her puckered lips, then shoot an adorable kiss into camera, causing super imposed red lips to appear on screen. COLE Mackenzie you took part in two of the more risque Anglemania moments, first getting flashed by Alix, then engaging in a saucy lip lock with Krista. And the cameras don't lie, you were enjoying those two events more then anyone in the stadium, and that saying quite a lot. You were sprung off Alix and Krista. So, what's your opinion on Monyemaker's quest to restore the ideals of the American Family in the oaoast? MACKENZIE Uh, well...uh..I...uh... MONEYMAKER Rape! Rape! That's what those women did to Miss DeCenzo! God damn rape! A rape of a virtuous maiden, by diabolic witches, attempting to infect her with their disease of dykedom. Do you know what they had the audacity to do after the match? Do you? They brazenly walked into the Enterprise locker room..and....and...and...asked Mackenzie if she'd like to hang out with them back in LA! COLE No! Attempting to befriend someone! How dare they try and do something as terrible as be nice! Monstrous lesbianism, a sin against God, obliterating life, damning the soul and crippling the very nation that tolerates it! MONEYMAKER Yes! Yes! If time permitted and we had stronger stomaches I could escort you to some of the places in West LA that they frequent that would send any decent American into a state of shock, where you would witness the kind of unspeakable behavior that has become part of the Roman circus that is the homosexual underworld. COLE Been there done that, honey. The duo skips down the entry ramp, accompanied by a chorus of cheers and supportive words for the audience. Ally flashes the devil horns to the many fans in the front row, and they return the demonic gesture in kind Krista's ice hardened heart is melted into a blubbering puddle of love, when a little girl in a "I love my two mommies" shirt hands her a bouquet of red roses as a belated Mother's Day Gift. She doesn't have much time to fawn over the kindhearted gesture, however, as Alix is taken position on the ring apron, requiring Krissy to start the contest against The Move From Vancouver, James Blonde. DING DING DING Krista steps into a lockup with Blonde, however the hold lasts no more then two seconds before the Vancouver native traps her into an arm wrench. Unfortunately, JB lacks the basic technical skills required to keep the move applied, and Krissy effortlessly reverses it into an arm wrench of her own. She snaps down on the limb, eliciting a sharp scream of pain from the hard luck star. The incredible agony from that simple move doubles him over and leaves him in the hands of her merciless whims. Thus she shifts her toned legs over his injured arm, so that she straddles his shoulder. From there she flips backwards, and catches onto his other arm with a beautiful arm drag! "K-I-D! K-I-D!" MONEYMAKER How disappointed do you think I am right now? Here in Oklahoma, the heartland of America, a state where the teachings of the good book reign supreme, I hear nothing but immoral miscreants cheering for the actions of a dirty carpet muncher. If you look in any scientific textbook, any reputable one, you'll find that gay and lesbian sex acts are equivalent, worse in fact, then a dog eating it's own vomit, or a pig wallowing in it's own feces. James rolls to his feet, the desire to apply a tag desperately strong. Yet, his wishes go unfulfilled, as the sex kitten tosses him over with a second arm drag. He tries to scurry away, but Miss California keeps him rooted in place with an arm lock. After a career built on dealing with the likes of The Sooner Bruisers, GPX, Black T, etc, it's understandable that Krissy is a little bored with the shoddy competition provided by James Blonde, thus she pulls her cell phone out of her baseball jersey, and begins playing a vigorous round of Mike Tyson Punch Out! The fun excursion quickly goes south when Krissy's digitized warrior hits the Hindu wall known as The Great Tiger. If you were born after 1985 skip ahead several paragraphs because you'll not understand Krista's following complaint, "Jesus Christ in Taxi Cab! This game can not be serious! How can teleporting halfway around the galaxy, then coming back and smacking me out of my high heels be at all legal? You can't do both! You can teleport 24/7/365 but when that those little white pixels shine on my screen, that better be a kiss heading to my cheek and not a left hook. Instead of paying money for this game, I should've just paid Verizon $5.99 to kick me in the ovaries, that would've been about the same effect. Just how am I supposed to beat this guy?" Blonde takes this moment in time to offer his heplful suggestion, "You have to wait until he does that Tiger punch deal. See, you dodge it and the guy gets all dizzy and shit, and then KA-POW you smack him down." "Uh-huh, that's grrrrrrreat, Jimmy. But if I wanted some advice on something you're in expert in, I would've said just how am I supposed to become an enormous douche bag." Annoyed with the helpful advice, Krissy leads Blond upright, then roughly shoves him into the corner. Though he slams into the posts with a strong thud, he's able to return fire with his red padded elbow. However, the fitness queen rolls beneath the incoming blow. When her billion dollar body uncurls, she leaps onto the second rope. Unaware of her new location, Blonde spins around to retry his elbow effort. But his attempt goes up in multicolored flames, when Krissy dismounts her perch and lacerates him with a fameasser! "K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!" Krista considers herself to be en fuego after her aerial showing, and has to comically, and exaggeratedly fan the flames around her neck that have resulted from her unmistakable awesomeness. JB uses her moment of arrogance to regain his strength, and roll to his feet. But by the time he's upright, Krista has is sufficiently "cooled down", and directs a chop into his flabby chest. He takes the stinging blow, and the whoos of the crowd, in stride, and returns fire with a knee into her toned stomach. Stricken with a bout of nausea, she sways from side to side, but Blond keeps her in place, by tightening her into front facelock. He raises her into the sky, then promptly brings her down with a basic DDT. Foolishly, he acts as though the simple hold was equivalent to winning the world series, and bounces from side to side with arms raised into the sky. Needless to say, the crowd is less then enamored with his gesture. MONEYMAKER Don't listen to the noise from the stands, obviously the zoo keeper fell asleep on the job, and the hairless primates have ventured from their cages and into the stadium! America does not want, and has never wanted, to hear about "lesbian lovers" or "homosexual companions", and they certainly don't want little Bobby and little Jane coming home from school talking about how little Maya found Auntie Alix's royal g-spot vibrator under her bed! Distressed over the poor fan response, the downtrodden JB retreats to his corner to bring Faqu into the affair. The heavy hitter won't let James depart however, and gruffly demands assistance for a double team. Blonde complies, and the challengers shoots the blond covergirl into the ring ropes. Upon her return, their arms curve under her shoulders and bring her over for a hip toss. She lands with a thudding impact on the canvas, her frame shooting upright to howl in pain. The mammoth Samoan keeps her glued to the mat, however, when he plants his beefy elbow onto her collar bone. As Blond scurries out the ring, Faqu attempts a pin that's scored by Charles Robinson. ONE TWO But Krissy pulls her shoulder off the mat, eliciting quite the roar from the stadium audience. She quickly rolls upright, but finds herself under immediate assault from The Samoan, who chucks her into the ring ropes. As her New Balance tennis carry her back towards her foe, his arm springs at her in a lariat! But she avoids the lethal blow, by sliding between the minuscule gap between his thick legs. When she stands up, she wastes little time in peppering his ghoulish visage with furious elbow strikes. One of the thudding blows, collides gruesomely with his mouth, and loosens several teeth. The sudden shock from the removal of his yellow fangs, causes his concentration to evaporate, and permits Miss California to back him towards her corner in order to tag Alix. Ally's anticipated entry into the title bout is met with thundering cheers and ovations. "YEAAAAA!" see, like I said, thundering cheers and ovations. MACKENZIE Jesus, wow, look at that little outfit....um, I mean the fabric is of an amazingly high quality! That's all. The threading is impeccable. That's what I meant. The threading. Nothing more. America's Sweethearts instantly go to work on the Samoan wrecking ball, their expensive footwear savaging his portly midsection. He grunts and grouses under their assault, showing nothing more then a minor discomfort. Realizing that their parade of kicks is doing nothing except wasting their energy, the girls take to skies and slam dropkicks into their foe's cranium. The lumbering beast totters backwards, draping himself into the embrace of the ring ropes. The orange cables prove to be unwelcoming hosts, and quickly return him to his lovely rivals. Ally and Krissy greet his arrival by horsewhipping their shoes across his skull with twin enziguris. Faqu emits a roar that sounds far less then human, as he tumbles through the air and splatters onto the canvas. "YEAAAAAAA!" In celebration of their easy victory, Ally flips a cute kiss towards Krista. Krissy catches it on her hand, then delicately places it on her cheek, before her blood red lips return the sweet gesture. Alix snatches the kiss into her left hand, but instead of gently attaching it to her cheek, the receiving hand darts downward, it's palm smacking the aggrieved islander dead in the face! COLE I guess you could call that the kiss of death! MONEYMAKER I call it completely ridiculous and utter embarrassment to professional wrestling! Not like my fistful of dollars. Now that is a move! Unfortunately for poor Faqu, he's yet to suffer the last of COD's double teaming. Krista takes hold of Alix's lovely legs, and pulls her into the sky. While hovering in midair, Alix flexes her muscles, and playfully growls towards the cheering audience. The end result of the move is far less cute, as Krista drops Alix stomach first onto the challenger! Silverman counts the ensuing pinfall... CROWD ONE CROWD TWO But Faqu kicks out with monstrous authority, thrusting Ally's thin figure into the air as he does so. Alix lands on her fuzzy boots, but the sharp movement throws her dangerously off balance. Faqu seeks to take advantage of her physical disorientation, by rolling to his feet and aiming a lariat at her head. But Alix catches onto his incoming missile, and uses it as a base to spin around his fleshy body. When she reaches the front of his frame, her arm collars around his neck, and she tugs him downward for a brutal DDT! ALIX "ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!" the audience sings. Still bobbing her head to a tune only she can hear, Alix marches towards the orange cables. She leaps into the air, and situates her legs onto the top rope for a split legged moonsault. However, James Blonde quickly rushes to her location, and grabs onto a wad of fur on her boots in order to crash her to the mats. Much to his chagrin, and the crowd's delight, the California cutie is able to land on her feet. As the fans resume chanting her name, she blasts some beats on her air guitar. Unfortunately her moment to play Hendrix has distracted her from the crazed animal within the ring. He capitalizes on her preoccupation, by sneaking behind her, and dropping her to the canvas with a clubbing forearm. Whimpering in agony and clutching her badly bruised back, Ally staggers upright. Her foe meets her ascension with a pair of knife edge chops. But the agile champion, deftly avoids his strikes, by whipping behind him. To add humiliation to his considerable frustration, she grabs onto his copious mounds of belly fat, and gingerly jiggles the meaty ripples off brown flesh. "BUY A BOWFLEX! BUY A BOWFLEX!" the crowd chants their weight loss tips to Faqu. MONEYMAKER Moderate conservatives, or as I like to call them "Value-traitors" have sold out American ideals, and legacies by espousing that these lezzies are somehow socially acceptable because they're consenting adults! When does consent enter into the equation? Cole, if I dig up your dead grandmother with the intention of fornication, does that make everything alright because I am a consenting adult and she is a consenting corpse? MACKENZIE What he's trying to say is...um.....just watch the match, okay. Watch the match. Faqu, for some odd reason, is disgusted by Alix's pointing out the obvious fact that he is disgustingly obese. Perhaps he thought if no one called attention to it, we'd never know he has tits the size of condors. Either way, he is incredibly perturbed by her actions, and whirls around to strike her with a discus punch. But Alix counteracts his attack, by slashing him with a dropsault. He dips backwards into the ropes, but comes back full force with a lariat. Yet, by the time his slow moving body is anywhere near Ally, the Hollywood Bad Girl has already sunk to the mat, flooring him with a drop toe hold! So concerned with the mounting pain in his busted nose, The HI-YAH world champion fails to notice Alix further mocking his mound of blubber, by jokingly gliding her fingers along her cute little six pack. With a coy smile, she replays the gesture once more, partially to make sure she got all six, but mostly to demean Faqu with her angelic physique. MONEYMAKER Is this the state of celebrity in America? No longer do we have images of moral value such as Chuck Heston to admire. Now we have bubble brained starlets like Alix Spezia frequenting places with names like Lesborado to observe sexual rituals that would've been declared downright satanic in any time period in history, except the late Roman Empire! Unwilling to play Al's dupe any longer, The HI-YAH wrestler springs off the canvas with an elbow strike. The blow barely grazes Alix on the cheek, but does just enough damage to permit him to whip her into the ring ropes. Upon her return his leg flashes out for a big boot (or big barefoot in his case), but she easily evades his attack and continues to the opposite end of the ring. Unfortunately, when she nears the edge of the battleground, she's victimized by Blonde's trickery, as the Vancouver native lowers the ropes, causing her to take a catastrophic tumble to the outside. The stadium crowd holds it's collective breath, as they watch their heroine sail through the air. Thankfully, their fears are unfounded as Alix lands with splendid grace on her boots. The favorable landing, does not deter JB from attempting to cheat his way to victory, however. He springs off the apron, fists raised into an axe handle smash. His blow fails to land, thanks to Alix impaling his flabby midsection with a dropkick! As the audience celebrates Ally's attack, Blonde plummets into the grass, kicking up a cloud of misty brown (is that color even brown?) dirt. COLE I miss the German guys from last week. At least they still looked good when they were getting humiliated. MACKENZIE You can take away their working visas, but not their washboard abs. Alix returns to squared circle, but finds her sustained offensive salvo cut short by a front facelock from Faqu. The restraints laid by his squat arms are much to strong for Alix to even consider breaking through. Thus she simply steels herself in preparation of his incoming attack. He lifts her into the air, then quickly drives her downward with a vertical suplex. The pudgy Islander then drapes his 301 pounds across her sore body for a pinfall... ONE Alix preforms a speedy kickout, giving rise to a large pop from the audience. Mumbling about a slow count, The HI-YAH champion guides the culinary sensation to her feet, and hurls her into the ring cables. Fortunately, she returns to her rival with a crossbody block! But Faqu catches her within his massive wingspan and rockets her overhead with his trademark belly to belly suplex! But the sex kitten avoids certain doom by coming down in an attack position. Moving with supernatural speed, The Hollywood Bad Girl darts to the grappler, who greets her incoming charge with a measured palm strike. But she shoots beneath his weapon and travels into a vacant corner. As camera flashes litter the tightly packed venue, she escalates to the top turnbuckle and throws herself off with majestic corkscrew moonsault press! Yet the Miami native has enough sense and speed to sidestep the nose-diving Los Angelina. And as an unfortunate result the brunette hits the mat with a massive impact, her cries of despair music to the ears of the one Faqu fan in the galaxy. The Samoan crawls over to the champion and hooks her legs for a cover. ONE TWO Ally Cat rips her shoulder off the mat, delighting the sold out Oklahoma crowd. However, the kickout does nothing to derail the freight train known as Faqu, and he latches onto Alix's curly brown locks in order to haul her upright. He drags her towards his corner, where his hand meets James Blonde's for the tag. MACKENZIE Jimmy Blonde, the mover from Vancouver, back into the match. If he loses his hair, are we required to call him Jimmy Bald, or do we pretend as if nothing has happened? JB enters the contest with a suspicious smirk perverting his grizzled face. His undue arrogance does little to endure him to the crowd, and a small collection of grade schoolers in the front row pepper him with "BLONDE SUCKS!" chants. Ignoring the pre-pubescent call for his head, Jimmy B ravages Alix's busty chest with a pair of stinging knife edge chops. Wailing in a mixture of annoyance and pain, she rotates her figure and holds her arms in front of her barely there top. While this protects her upper body, it leaves her lower body open to any manner of viscous assaults, and JB unleashes a hellstorm of shoulder blocks into her bare rib cage. "LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!" Once he ceases his parade of shoulder blocks, he raises his arm into the air, preparing to slice her in half with one mighty Tomahawk chop of his limb. But the quick lass ducks bellow his elevated arm, and puts her new found freedom to excellent use, shoving him into her previous position in the corner. He has little time prepare a suitable defense, and Alix plasters his pasty white chest with a barrage of whirling kicks. In spite of the ferociousness the kicks are delivered with, Blonde is able to subdue the whirling dervish by simply elbow striking her to the canvas. While his enemy remains a wailing wreck, JB brings his burly partner into the affair. MONEYMAKER I at least have a smidgen, a minuscule amount of respect for the gay male. The gay male is a group who has cultivated a niche market of power, however immoral and reprobate, for themselves. What is a lesbian? A lesbian is a woman who in fifteen years of scrapping and clawing still makes thirty percent less then the national average. A lesbian, regardless of how famous she is in the case of Krista and Alix, is a woman who knows no one and who nobody cares to know. A lesbian has zero clout or influence in society. Why? Because a woman can not succeed without a man behind her. The only thing Krista has ever had behind her is a lubed up piece of plastic! Faqu peels Alix's limp figure off the canvas, and situates her into a double underhook. The Hollywood Bad Girl stages a fierce resistance against his clutches, thrashing and kicking her body with amazing might. But her efforts are for naught, as Faqu lifts her into the sky with an unerring ease. After several seconds of allowing the blood to flood into her head, the Islander dives backwards, pulverizing her fragile bones on the rock solid mat. She shoots upright, her pained yells filling open air. But she's quickly muffled by three hundred one pounds of blubber, as Faqu lies on top of her for a pinfall... ONE TWO But Alix escapes the pinfall, and the audience is ecstatic as a result. Faqu, of course, does not partake in their enthusiasm, and directs several heated words towards the referee. Tired of his whining, the same grade schoolers who heckled Blonde demand that Faqu shut his mouth and get out the ring! Amazingly The Islander agrees to their request, and with lowered head tags his Canadian associate into the affair. With predatory blue eyes, Jimmy B. watches the distressed maiden slowly step to her feet. When she rises fully upright, her wobbly body is trapped within a double chicken wing. He quickly ties her hands behind her back, making escape all but impossible. Blonde then raises her into the sky, before falling backwards and dropping her directly onto her neck. Flashes of pain spark through her body, and lead heart wrenching screams to erupt from her throat. These shrieks convince the Western Canadian that the champion is on the brink of destruction, and he eagerly attempts a pin... ONE TWO Much to JB's dismay, Alix isn't as nearly as crippled he believed, and the perky brunette triumphantly kicks out! "LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!" The rowdy stadium goers sing. JB launches The Hollywood Bad Girl towards the ropes. His knee raises towards her returning head, but she quickly swoops away from the approaching bullet. Her boots drive her towards Faqu, who's elbow is already cocked in preparation for a lethal strike. But his plan encounters great failure, as Ally shoves him off the apron with a high knee lift! As the blubbery gladiator is launched through the night sky, the audience shakes the bleachers with their cheers. Even when his bare feet land on the soft grass, their mood isn't worsened and they resume their chants of, "ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!" Spurred on by their show of support, the bodacious sex kitten directs a running forearm smash at her in ring foe. But he evades the strike by swinging around charging body, and trapping her into a waistlock. He lifts her up, and falls backwards, dropping her onto her neck with a bridged German Suplex. As tears flow freely from Alix's cheek, the referee scores the pivotal fall... ONE TWO Alix pulls her shoulder of the canvas, enraging the jobber-4-life, but pleasing the fans. Defeated by the massive frustration over being unable to deliver the fatal blow, the dejceted Blonde allows his more malicious partner to return to the affair. Realizing that every attempt to pin Alix's shoulders to the canvas for three measly seconds has been struck down by humiliating failure, Faqu decides to strangle her into submission. He joins her on the canvas, and collars his enormous arm around her neck,the limb suffocating her delicate throat like the most gruesome of boa constrictors. Held towards her rivals' corner, all Alix's tear stained eyes can see is the barbaric smile of James Blonde, and the stadium scoreboard which cruelly displays the maddening distance between her bone weary body, and Krista. Robinson drops to his stomach, asking Alix if she wishes to throw in the towel. The answer is an emphatic shout of "No!", a defiant cry that leads the angry Islander to further wrench on her neck. "LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!" the audience chants, as Krista beats her palms against the turnbuckles. A second toque of the neck, pulls and strains Alix's ligaments, and her strong statements of survival are replaced by shrill wails of torture. Her arm lightly flaps at her side, barely able to muster enough strength to weakly elbow Faqu in the rib cage. As he feels the strength being drained from her near lifeless body, The Samoan senses the end is near, and multiplies the pressure of his hold. Robinson detects no signs of life from the fan favorite, and lifts her arm into the sky. The limb plummets downward, filling the apron based Blonde with great anticipation over his first OAOAST title victory. Robinson raises the arm once more, and again it falls to the wayside. COLE One more drop and we'll have new champions! Up goes the arm, and up goes prayers and wishes from the audience, who plead with the lord above to will Alix through the devastating submission move. Their desires and dreams are answered, as Alix somehow manages to keep her limb elevated! "YEAAAAAA!" A look of stupefied furor warps Faqu's already grotesque visage. But all the grousing and complaining does nothing to change the fact that his efforts to choke Alix out of her title reign have failed thus far. Her fists are clenched into tiny balls, desperately leading her charge to freedom. Emitting deep throated growls, Faqu wrenches back repeatedly, tugging on the head in a frantic attempt to subdue the Californian. But the plucky underdog refuses to submit, and her jelly legs expend great energy to push her to her feet. Inching upright, Alix is wondrously close to a standing position. A fact that her troubled foe is well to aware of! He looks with pleading eyes towards Blonde for assistance. JB answers the call for help in a truly despicable away; brazenly storming into the squared circle, and rifling his boot into her face. The magnificent blow rips Ally away from the deadly submission hold, but deals tremendous damage to her face, and leaves her a quivering heap of flesh and bones on the ring floor. C.Rob tries to admonish Blonde for his tactics, but the Canadian will hear none of it, retreating to his corner with an unapologetic grin. "BOOOOOO!" the fans jeer, as Krista cusses and howls over the cheap shot. Amid the hate tinged chaos, Faqu tries another pin for his squad. ONE MONEYMAKER You are now witnessing the end of the Sodom and Gomorrah atmosphere these women have corrupted our company with! TWO Krista can contain herself no longer! The blond bombshell darts into the ring, and miraculously manages to baseball slide the hunk of lard off her petite girlfriend. The astounding momentum of the crowd popping strike, shoves Faqu into his corner, where his bronzed skin is slapped by his associate. Ignoring his partner's complaints over the unwelcome tag, JB focuses himself on the task of pulverizing Alix. Taking hold of her trembling wrist, he leads her to her feet, then slings her into the cables. The ropes return her into an elbow strike that shears her skull and rips her from her feet. She yells in rage and pain, thrusting a smile of intense gratification onto JB's face. Affording her no time to recover from her wounds, Blonde peels the champion from the canvas. His hand flicks out in a knife edge chop, tearing apart the fabric of her scanty bikini top. He cocks his arm to deliver another flesh searing strike, but his offense is grounded to an abrupt halt when a chop explodes across his pecs. Four more chops terrorize the now bloody flesh of the challenger, giving birth to a rousing ovation from the audience. More motivated to protect his shredded flesh then effort any sort of attack, The Mover from Vancouver dispatches his rankling rival to the ropes. This tactic grants him a three second reprieve from her onslaught, but when she returns she reintroduces him to a world of hurt, pummeling him with a flying forearm! "YEAAAAAA!" MONEYMAKER You're two hundred pounds and you just got knocked out by a bulimic piece of white toxic waste? Good lord, man! Both competitors topple to the canvas, rippling the ring with their extraordinary impact. Instantly the crowd, and Krista undertake the task of motivating Alix, chanting her name and stamping their feet in unison. However it's the despised villain, James Blonde who stirs first. Even in his weakened state, the veteran has enough ring savvy to block Ally's path to freedom. As her exhausted bones slog their way past the pain to stand upright, the Samoan Bulldozer sneaks into the squared circle. When she stands fully erect, the beast charges forward, intending on flattening her with his bulk. But thanks to a quick glance towards the outfield scoreboard, Ally spots the fast approaching hulk and dives out of the way! Unable to put the breaks on in time, Faqu's body collides with his aghast partner, sending the smaller man hurtling through the skies. Both gladiators land with a sharp thud, a delightful sound to the millions of COD fans world wide. MACKENZIE And you wondered why I never bothered to watch a HI-YAH show. With Faqu and James Blonde incapacitated by their own crass stupidity, the bone tired Alix makes the long awaited tag to Krista Isadora Duncan, then promptly sinks to the mat in exhaustion "YEAAAAAA!" Camera flashes litter the night sky, as the vicious vixen flings herself over the ropes with a dropkick aimed to the chest of a rising Faqu. Though her one hundred dollar shoes impale his meaty flesh, his massive poundage refuses to go down, instead tottering backwards, thrown entirely off balance. Annoyed with his ability to withstand her awesome aerial strike, Krissy tosses the HI-YAH world champion into the ropes. She ducks her head as the big man returns from the cables, but he hops over the champ and lands behind her. He twirls around to knock her head off her neck with a palm strike, but Krissy shocks him with a crowd thrilling knee to his Samoan Jewels! He clutches his Island coconuts, and screams in terrible anguish, as the crowd hoots and hollers over his misery. The audience is then treated to further pleasure as the fitness queen winds up and annihilates his boorish snout with a superkick! MACKENIZE I think that sequence is called "Krista's Great California Adventure". Uh, not that I make it my hobby to keep up with vital information about Krista or Alix, mind you. I just know because..uh...Simon told me. COLE Oh no doubt, I bet you don't even know Alix's birthday. MACKENZIE (rapidly, involuntarily eager to prove Cole wrong) December 15th 1977, born in San Juan Capistrano, California to Hector Spezia and Roxanne Daye, moved to Los Angeles at the age of seven...(Realizing she's fallen into Cole's trap Mackenzie quickly covers her mouth.) Eeep! While crimson liquid spews from Faqu's nose , Krista drags out a pink Revlon compact mirror out her baseball jersey (what else does she have in there?!), and flips it open to ask pressing question, "Mirror, mirror, not on the wall, who is the baddest bitch of them all? There was a rubble dubble, five minutes it's lasted, the mirror said you are 'you conceited bastard'." Secure in the knowledge that she is the baddest bitch in all the land, Krista chucks her mirror into the bleachers, where a donnybrook over the valued souvenir. "K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!" MONEYMAKER This is my punishment for leaving the fate of American morality in the hands of a Samoan, a race of people who are so stupid I doubt their combined brainpower would be sufficient to beat a chimp in a spelling bee! Unlike the audience, Blonde is unamused by Krissy's conceited antics. He rushes to the second rope, seeking to blast her with a springboard back elbow. But before he can even leave his perch atop the cable, the Hollywood Covergirl has ventured to his location. He's offered no opportunity to stage a defense, as Krista's arms snake around is neck, and drive him downward with a inverted DDT! COLE You don't often see that move from there! MONEYMAKER And you don't often hear a billion dollar heir with cash to burn use this phrase..I CAN'T BELIEVE I PAID MONEY FOR THIS SHIT!!!! Ever the vain one, the blond bombshell pays tribute to the original blond bombshell, Marilyn Monroe, by mimicking her "Updraft" pose, tossing her hand to the middle of her skirt, crossing her knees, and flashing an irresistible smile of embarrassed innocence. Unfortunately her moment of arrogance, has allowed The Samoan to recover his strength, and he closes in on her with a roaring charge! But thanks to always helpful outfield scoreboard, she spots his approach. Her arm leads the rotation of her body, swinging forward to paste him with a forearm. He catches hold of her limb, and roughly twists her into the clutches of James Blonde. Facing away from Krista, his arm hooks around her neck, setting up a potential neck breaker. But his efforts go no further then that, as Krista's hands clamp down on his face. Her fingers clogging his vision and suffocating his breath, he's powerless to stop her from plummeting downwards and making him the latest victim of her finisher Elizabeth? I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one! (reverse face crusher)! The impact of the move earthquakes the surrounding area, and besieges Blonde with terrible woe. The onlookers erupt in unison upon the extraordinary completion of KID's finisher. "K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!" Much dissimilar to previous incarnations of the move, no pinfall follows thanks to meddling from Faqu. He watches her head to her feet, then streams towards the femme fatale with a malodorous lariat! Thankfully for her fitness career, Krista keeps her facial features intact, performing the tried and true matrix counter , bending her flexible body backwards. The misfiring Faqu skids to a screeching halt, but isn't deterred by his gaffe, and rips around to retry his failed lariat. He's quickly shown the erroneous nature of this strategy when KID kips up and scrambles his brains with a sweet enziguri! Unfortunately for Krista, Faqu doesn't have many brains to be scrambled in first place, thus he is quick to shrug aside the pain and rise from the canvas. Krista tries to make a move to the ring ropes, but his arms jut out, capturing her with beefy claws. The beast presses her into the sky, fulling intending on throwing her as far as his mammoth strength will allow. However, these intentions never see the light of reality. Thanks to the fact that her exposed skin is soaked in baby oil, she's easily able to slip free of his clutches. The exact second she lands behind her foe, her hands tighten around his bearded face, bringing forth a pop from those fans who know what signature move is forthcoming. The rest of the fans quickly join in with raucous cheers as Krista thunderclaps the giant to the canvas with the Elizabeth? I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one! (reverse face crusher) Faqu lies helpless on the canvas, a pale faced, and trembling skeleton. Krista extends her arm forward to hook his leg for a crucial pinfall. The audience gets to their feet and counts along with each slap of the mat. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO MONEYMAKER Why? Why? Why? Why? CROWD THREE!! A monstrous cheer of joy spews from the throats of the audience, filling the stadium, and pouring to the outside walkway bellow. Blonde remains sunken on the canvas, his thinning hair obscuring his sorrowed face. The HI-YAH heavyweight champion isn't even capable feeling any negative emotions, as his entire mind is consumed by the soaring physical pain. Girlfriend returns to the loud speaker, while Buffer readies the official announcement. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners, making the ninth successful defense of their third World Tag Team titles, America's Sweethearts, CHICKS OVER DICKS! The stadium crowd erupts with cheers once more. Alix wraps her arms around a grounded Krissy's shoulder, and shouts words of gratitude directly into Krissy's ears. The sweet (but noisy) gesture isn't exactly welcomed by Krissy thanks to the fact Alix decided to take up the habit chewing tobacco about three seconds before the kiss. Regardless of Krissy's qualms over Alix's choice of vices, the whole debacle sky rockets Moneymaker's blood pressure through the stratosphere. COLE How about that! Another successful tag title defense for America's Sweethearts, this time handily defeating the HI-YAH heavyweight champion. MONEYMAKER Though there are no true Americans in attendance tonight, I address the many watching at home. I will continue to fight on behalf of you, your children, and this great country, and I will combat these women personally, because they are a special breed of evil doer! They are estranged from the holy lord from the womb, speaking lies by nature, and their malice and obstinacy is likened to venomous serpents infecting all mankind with their perverse and satanic homosexuality. Their presence here is nothing but a pagan orgy of idolatrous blasphemy! You will not be required to endure their filth much longer. MACKENZIE And speaking of pagan orgies, in only a few short minutes our trusted companion, Christian Wright, will dispose of that worthless twit Leon Rodez once and for all. MONEYMAKER Not only would that make my day, it would make my entire year! COLE Don't get overly excited, Leon is a tough customer, he won't go down that easy. Fans we will return with our mainevent. Back to the boiler room we go. BOHEMOTH And you continued on, doing your rotten deeds, like last year. Remember your match with Drek Stone at World Without End? THA PUERTO RICAN How could I forget? He pulled a gun on me. BOHEMOTH I'm starting to wish that gun had bullets inside. PRL Hey! BOHEMOTH Shut up. PRL Shutting up, sir. BOHEMOTH Remember after that match, how everyone felt sorry for you? People...were actually pitying you! I never thought that could happen, but it did. And for a while, it looked like you changed. It looked like you had become a new man. A man with a new attitude, new outlook on life. And I admit, even I thought you were telling the truth for once. But it all turned out to be a charade. A fraud. All so that you could win some gold again. PRL starts to crack a smile. BOHEMOTH Oh, you remember this, don't you? PRL Oh yeah. I sure do! What a great moment in my career! BOHEMOTH A great moment, huh? It wasn't so great for D*LUX! It wasn't so great for Tyler Bryant and Shayne Brave. It wasn't so great to have them lose the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles they worked so hard far because they got duped. It wasn't so great to have a budding friendship broken because you are so full of hatred for your fellow man that doing things like betraying D*LUX is as normal to you as brushing your teeth! PRL is laughing. BOHEMOTH STOP LAUGHING! PRL stops laughing. BOHEMOTH P.R., you are SUCH a low life piece of scum. There's no good in you. I thought there was, but no. You are rotten to the core. D*LUX trusted you. And yet you betrayed them! Don't you feel the least bit guilty about it? PRL No...not really. BOHEMOTH PRL, you just don't get it. PRL What is there to get? Bohemoth runs his hands through his hair as it's quite obvious that PRL is very stubborn. Not to mention a huge dick. COMMERCIAL BREAK COMING UP NEXT A rivalry renewed Leon Rodez Vs The Natural Christian Wright NEXT

We're shown a shot of the stadium, as a female voiceover recites this weeks sponsors. OAOAST HeldDOWN is brought to you by... Miss Spezia's Sweeties' Two Timing Woman Butter pecan cookies. You're a black man, and your kids have yellow skin and slanted eyes. God damn that Two Timing Woman. By Liberty Mutual. What's your policy? And by Hilton Hotels. Travel can take you places An overhead shot inside the arena leads us to the squared circle and ring announce Michael Buffer, joined by LOS CONQUISTADORS. * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit. Currently in the ring, the meanest and baddest hombres in el mundo...Los Conquistadors! Uno and Dos raise their fists to a chorus of boos. The jeers quickly turn to cheers as Nirvana's "Heart-Shaped Box" hits. The "Angel of Death" herself, Holly-Wood, leading her team to the ring. BUFFER Their opponents, accompanied by their manager HOLLY-WOOD...from Sin City, total combine weight 430 pounds, the greatest rock 'n wrestling band of all-time...THE HEAVENLYYYYYY RRRRRR-- COLE Michael Buffer, get out of there now! * DINGDINGDING * Los Conquistadors catch the Heavenly Rockers with a cheap shot as they step through the ropes, but it doesn't take long for Synth and Logan to fight back and gain the upper hand. Logan rakes Uno's eyes and tosses him outside, then helps his partner pummel Dos to his knees. Whipped to the ropes and elevated high above, Dos lands flat on his back courtesy of a Heavenly Rockers tandem maneuver. Dos again finds himself on his back following a DOUBLE SYNCHRONIZED DROPKICK! Logan covers! ONE... But only one as Uno breaks up the count. Logan removes his leather jacket and throws it at Uno's feet. In case that didn't grab his attention Mann throws Dos down as well, daring Uno to tag in. To the surprise of many, perhaps, Uno accepts the challenge. He and Logan lock up and, as the Heavenly Rockers been known to do in the past, Logan busts out a wristlock to prove he is indeed a trained wrestler, followed by a snap mare takeover and a fist to the jaw. ONE... KICKOUT! Logan brings Uno to his feet and works the body over with a series of stinging left jabs. Once he's had his fun Logan tags Synth and fires Uno into the ropes, drilling him in the midsection with a hard right that enables Synth to snap him over with a SWINGING NECKBREAKER! Instead of going for the cover Synth climbs onto the second rope and drops the big elbow! ONE... TWO... NO! Again a Conquistador is there to make the save, this time Dos. Synth slams Uno for good measure and tags Logan back in. Holly-Wood cheering her husband on as he scales to the top, spreading his "wings" (arms) to build the drama--- COLE If Logan hits this it's all over. ---FLYING DOUBLE KNEE DROP TO THE CHEST!! Mann bounces off Uno and across the ring, decking Dos with a WICKED LEFT HOOK! "D-D-T!" "D-D-T!" "D-D-T!" COLE You know what the fans want to see. COACH Funny how you scream at the top of your lungs when somebody like "Sweet" Lucius Soul looks to add an exclamation point to the end of a match, yet it's just giving the people what they want when the Heavenly Rockers do it. All I'm asking for is some consistency. Logan twirls the FINGER OF DOOM~ and waves in Synth. They hook Uno's head and spike him into the mat! COLE Percussion DDT! Synth plays air guitar as Logan covers! ONE... TWO... THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners... THE HEAVENLYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE The Heavenly Rockers meant business tonight, Coach. It only took them a little over 2 minutes to finish off a tough Conquistadors team. Logan calls for and receives the microphone. LOGAN Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" LOGAN No more Mister Nice Guy. You, us. SCHOOL'S OUT! Title, non-title, it don't make a difference. The Heavenly Rockers are coming after your asses sayeth Logan Usher Mann! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE The challenge has been issued. All we can do now is await the response of the HI-YAH tag team champions. Hopefully sometime tonight. COACH I'll say this, Cole -- the Heavenly Rockers won't have it as easy as they did tonight against Rico and Lucius. COLE A whole lot more still to come, fans. Don't you dare go away. The camera cuts back to the boiler room. Bohemoth is pacing back and forth. Tha Puerto Rican is still in his chair blindfolded. BOHEMOTH I want you to think back. Back to May 27, 2003. Do you remember that date? PRL Y--Yes. BOHEMOTH I'm sure you do. And you know who else remembers that date? The Mad Cappa. You know why? Because on that date, you, PRL, took a ringbell, a ring bell that is used in every wrestling match, and you used it to try and end a man's career. A man who was really the complete opposite of you. The Mad Cappa was nice, friendly, compassionate, and had a deep love for the fans. All the things you aren't. Is that why you did what you did? Is that why you crushed his larynx with a ring bell? PRL No! I didn't crush his larynx because he was nice or whatever! I crushed his larynx because he SUCKED! BOHEMOTH That's it? Because he 'sucked'? That's why you did that? P.R., Cappa couldn't talk for two months because of what you did! He couldn't even breathe right afterwards! You nearly ended his career, all because you thought he 'sucked'! My God, have you no shame? Don't you care about your fellow OAOAST wrestlers? PRL I care about my Crew. I care about Popick. The rest of the roster can go piss up a rope...uh...except for you...of course. Bohemoth does a heavy sigh. BOHEMOTH P.R., Cappa came back. And he did beat you more than once. PRL Let's not talk about that... BOHEMOTH YES WE WILL! PRL (meekly) Okay! BOHEMOTH Cappa came back. But he might not have. And it would have been all your fault. And how would you have felt? How would you have felt knowing that you ended a man's career? How would you have felt that a man could no longer do what he love, put food on the table, because of you? How would that have made you feel? PRL Like I got the job done. Bohemoth throws his chair to the wall! PRL flinches. BOHEMOTH That's the kind of behavior that makes me want May 27th to come sooner rather than later! Tha Puerto Rican does a big cartoonish style *gulp*. BOHEMOTH Now...let's move onto someone else. *FADE OUT* *COMMERCIALS* COMING UP NEXT America's Sweethearts against HI-YAH'S best ****OAOAST World Tag Team Titles**** Chicks Over Dicks Vs James Blond and Faqu

As we return to HeldDOWN~!, we're transported straight to the ring where Biff Atlas is standing, ready for his first match as a bonefide singles competitor. If you don't know why he's a singles wrestler now, you should really read the dirtsheets. Wellness, that's all I'm saying. Biff is sporting new aquamarine blue shorts with a picture of the globe on the BUTT and the word 'ATLAS' written across it in deep red lettering. Plus of course that trademark teeny-tiny hula skirt and ankle vine bracelets. For some reason, Biff also has the microphone, waiting for the signal that we're on air before beginning. BIFF Ladies and gentlemen... "BIFF!" "BIFF!" "BIFF!" "BIFF!" BIFF ...yes, thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, you may know me as a recreational bodybuilder or as a 'nutritional guru'. In the past, I came to you and I spoke about energy drinks and workout regiments. But that was then and this is now. You are looking at a new Biff Atlas! You see, I now have a much more important message to tell the world. I have a much more important cause to follow. And tonight, before my match, I would like to take a moment to talk to you all about a subject very close to my heart, Global Warming! ..... CROWD COLE COACH BIFF Global Warming is a very real danger that affects all of us and the planet that we inhabit. Now, our government would have you believe that this problem is just a creation of the media. They are dragging their heels on energy conservation. Despite that fact that in a matter of just a few years, the entire West Indies could be 65 feet under water! But, all is not lost! Global Warming is a preventable danger, so long as we tackle this issue head on! Every single person in this audience tonight can do their bit to prevent climate change. Everyone. Taking your computer off of stand-by, using public transport, flushing your toilets once a month... all of these minor things could have a huge effect on the future of this planet. The planet that I love so much. The planet. The Atlas! Help prevent Climate Change and change the world! Thank you! The crowd sit in stunned silence, unsure of how to take in that diatribe. Suddenly the pro-Biff signs disappear and the cheers are gone for Biff, as he removes his hula skirt and passes it to the outside. COACH Okay. That was... interesting. COLE It was something alright. I don't know about Global Warming, but this crowd don't seem to be warming to Biff Atlas' words here tonight. He will be representing the OAOAST here tonight though, because he'll be taking on WDW's latest acquisition and dare I add, the latest man to turncoat on the OAOAST. COACH And it could be anybody! I lost track of all the names being thrown around backstage earlier. COLE Yeah, it turned into a bit of a witchhunt in the end. I still can't believe Alix accused Terry Taylor. I wonder if he regained consciousness yet. COACH Who cares? BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this contest is scheduled for one fall. In the ring, from Venice Beach, California... he weighs in at two hundred and twenty pounds... BBIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFF... AAAAATTLLLLLLAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS!!! Biff salutes the crowd and gets a now mixed reaction. All eyes now turn to the stage as an awkward silence falls across the arena for a couple of seconds, before finally... "OOOOOOOOIIIIIIII!" The pumping beats of "Fix Up, Look Sharp" by Dizzee Rascal pound through the arena... and through the sliding entrance doors swaggers JAMIE O'HARA! COLE No way! COACH Unbelievable. BUFFER And, his opponent represents World Domination Wrestling! Hailing from Birmingham, England... he weighs in at one hundred and seventy pounds... "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY" JJJAAAAAAAMMMMMIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE... OOOOOO'HHHHHHAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The Birmingham Bad Boy jaws away at no-one or no-thing in particular as the marches down the aisle, brash as ever. Up the steps he climbs, vaulting in over the top rope and jawing now at someone in particular, that being Biff Atlas. Biff points the finger right back though, leaving referee Nick Patrick to step in between them. COLE Well, I must say, I didn't expect this. COACH Man. I expected better from the J-OH. To think, we used to be crew. COLE Ebonics aside, Jamie O'Hara, WDW's newest signing? This a major coo! *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds and O'Hara immediately dives towards Biff, looking to sweep a leg. Biff avoids it though, so O'Hara comes back to his feet and into a collar and elbow tie-up. With the clear power advantage, Biff backs O'Hara up into a corner, pinning him in and surprisingly giving a clean break. Unsuprisingly, O'Hara doesn't reciprocate though, pushing back on the turnbuckles and driving his feet into Biff's burly chest to drive him backwards. O'HARA WOT NOW!? EH!? WOT NOW!? Allowing Jamie to jaw away, Biff looks for another collar and elbow tie-up. A little naively O'Hara accepts and again he gets muscled right back into a corner, forced against the turnbuckles... and this time, Biff clubs him across the chest with a forearm! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Do these people realise what show they're at? Biff clubs O'Hara with a second forearm! And a third! Whipping O'Hara across the ring, the reformed nutrition guru then charges in, looking to crush the Brit with an Avalanche. Up and over goes O'Hara though, rolling down Biff's back and waiting for him to turn around before connecting with a Dropkick! Biff falls back into the corner now and O'Hara dives onto the middle rope in front of him, fist clenched, ready to unload... "OI!" "OI!" "OI!" "OI!" "OI!" "OI!" "OI!" "OI!" "OI!" "OI!" ...with ten punches (honestly, there's ten, you can count them yourself) to the forehead! COLE It sounds like a soccer game here in Oklahoma City. COACH Obviously you don't watch much soccer then. Jumping off the rope it's O'Hara's turn to try an irish whip. An arm wrapped around the top rope prevents Biff from being taken for the ride though and eventually he fires a kick into the gut to force the Brit off of him. As O'Hara turns around, Biff then loads up the arm looking for a big clothesline coming out of the corner. O'Hara ducks it though, coming out of the corner himself with a big Busaiku Knee Kick to take Atlas down! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Out of the ring rolls Biff, looking to recollect himself. O'Hara looks to follow, but referee Nick Patrick manages to keep some order, preventing Jamie from leaving the ring while he counts. COACH How do you kick someone with your knee anyway? COLE You don't. It's just what it's called. COACH But it makes no sense. COLE Take it up with KENTA. COACH Who? As Biff continues to walk it off around ringside, the impatient O'Hara sneaks out of the ring behind referee Patrick and rounds the ring in pursuit of Biff. Busy conserving his own energy much like he was preaching earlier, Biff doesn't see O'Hara coming. Until it's too late that is, O'Hara springing off the ring steps and crushing the horror-stricken Atlas with a Somersault Seated Senton!! "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" COLE Daredevil move from Jamie O'Hara, something which I guess we're not going to see any more off on HeldDOWN~! after tonight! O'Hara fires up the crowd a little before he collects and dumps Biff back into the ring. And in he follows with the cover... 1... 2... No! Backing into a corner, O'Hara props himself on the second rope, encouraging Atlas back to his feet. Over staggers Biff, a little close for Jamie's liking which earns him a Nikey right in the mouth! As Biff staggers back, O'Hara then tumbles off the ropes with a big Blockbuster! COLE Oh, SNAP~! Cover... 1... 2... No! COLE O'Hara is going to have trouble keeping Biff down for three, lacking a lot in the power department compared to his opponent. Leading Biff to his feet, a forearm finds the mark from O'Hara. A second. And a third. Biff looks dazed so into the ropes goes Jamie. But suddenly Biff comes into life and as O'Hara shoots back, he gets MOWN down with a clothesline!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Hahaha... wow! The bottom half of O'Hara's body landed about five seconds after the top half did! That's what I call a near decapitation! COLE That was a tremendous clothesline, for sure. Could be a tide turner. As O'Hara rolls around looking for an escape route, Biff stops him with an elbow, pinning him down... 1... 2... Kickout, right into a side headlock. COLE And Biff wisely slowing things down, trying to keep O'Hara grounded. The stocky Biff puts all his 220 pounds behind the headlock, trying to make O'Hara carry his weight. Atlas then uses the headlock to bring O'Hara up before whipping him into the ropes, pressing him into the air on the rebound with Flapjack, J-OH plummeting back down to earth face-first! The impact bounces him back up to his knees and Biff quickly grabs him, sending him into the turnbuckles with a whip this time. Biff follows up with the Avalanche he wanted earlier, waiting on O'Hara to stumble out of the corner and catching him around the waist for a Side Belly To Belly Suplex... 1... 2... Kickout! Back up come Atlas and O'Hara. It's Atlas who's in control right now, O'Hara sucking wind and not helped by a knee driven into the breadbasket. With a waistlock, Biff then deadlifts The Birmingham Bad Boy up and over his shoulder into the Canadian Backbreaker, the submission hold made famous by Jesse "The Body" Ventura! Biff squeezes down on the hold as Patrick looks up for any signs of a submission. COLE I'm hearing through my earpiece that... this is 'The Greenhouse Effect'. Cute. "JA - MIE" "JA - MIE" "JA - MIE" "JA - MIE" COLE This crowd still solidly behind O'Hara, despite his defection from the OAOAST. Perhaps these fans in Oklahoma want to give him a good send-off in his last HeldDOWN~! match. COACH Or perhaps they're just dumb. With the support of the crowd behind him, energy pumps through O'Hara's body all of a sudden. And he begins to fight the hold, driving his elbow forward a couple of times. No precision, but the elbows do hit Biff, enough to allow O'Hara a little room to manoeuvre, squirming around... ...and ESCAPING the hold, sliding down the back and looking for a Backslide! He doesn't have the power in his legs to take Biff over though, the pocket powerhouse bending over which brings O'Hara over his back and out in front, for a clothesli... DUCKED! O'Hara sweeps under the arm and runs on to the ropes, springboarding off the second rope and connecting with a twisting Dropkick! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COLE O'Hara connects! And the momentum may have shifted once more! COACH Come on Biff! I can't believe I'm cheering for you, but damnit I am so you'd better win! COLE Don't sit on the fence Coach. Both men are a little slow to their feet, meeting in the centre of the ring with O'Hara landing a kick to the gut. O'Hara wraps Atlas up and struggles a little for the suplex, settling for a Snap Suplex which doesn't have much height but enough behind it to send Biff retreating into a corner holding his back. The Birmingham Bad Boy follows right in, stomping away with his Nike trainers before hopping up onto the thighs looking for a Monkey Flip... but Biff just POWERS him off! Through to his feet rolls O'Hara but his run at Biff is lazy and he gets met with a boot up! BIFF AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH!! And with a shoutout to the world's foremost movie on the issue of Global Warming, Biff scoops O'Hara up onto his shoulders, into a fireman's carry... ...and gets taken over with a crucifix... 1... 2... NO! Rolling to his feet, Biff loads up one of his big guns again, throwing another clothesline. Again it doesn't find the mark though, O'Hara quick enough to duck underneath and wrap around Atlas with a waistlock. Throwing back elbows, the waistlock is broken by Biff, who tries to whip O'Hara into the ropes. O'Hara spins out though, connecting with a kick to the gut before kicking Biff up underneath the jaw, with a move reminiscent of Guile from Street Fighter!! COACH If he starts throwing electric, this could get ugly! COLE Not to mention the damage it could do to the environment. As Biff staggers backwards, out to the apron exits O'Hara. With a good grip on the top rope he springboards, soaring with a Crossbody... ...CAUGHT! And Atlas drops O'Hara down with a slam, right by the turnbuckles. Stepping over O'Hara's body, Biff makes a big circle with his hands and gives the call for the "EARTHSAULT!" which seems to have much the same set-up as a Moonsault would. COLE Biff Atlas, going up. I'm not so sure how smart this is. COACH Duh. It's Biff Atlas. COLE Ah, true. Scaling the turnbuckles with his back to the ring, Biff looks through his legs to check that O'Hara is still there while he steadies himself. Once set, he then backflips, soaring through the air with impressive form on the Earthsault... *WHAM!* ...AND CRASHING TO THE CANVAS! NOBODY HOME! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE O'Hara able to roll out of the way! As Biff clutches at his gut, O'Hara quickly exits the ring again and heads to the top rope himself. O'Hara faces the ring though and as Biff lies winded by the turnbuckles, SuperJay reaches the high-rent district and flies, tumbling through the air AND CRASHING DOWN ACROSS BIFF'S CHEST WITH THE 630 SPLASH!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE SIX! THIRTY! SPLASH! 1... 2... 3!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COLE And Jamie O'Hara, signing out with a victory! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY"... JJJAAAAAAMMIIIIIEEE... O'HHHAAAAAAAARRRRRRAAAAAAAAA!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" O'Hara holds his ribs as his hand is raised in victory, The Birmingham Bad Boy shouting out to the world. Pulling away from Patrick he then exits the ring and tags some hands, before heading off out of the OAOAST with his head held high. COLE Impressive showing from O'Hara and I for one will be sad to see the last of that young talent here on HeldDOWN~! O'Hara, moving on to pastures new. I'm not so sure on his thinking behind signing up with Alfdogg and his crew, but we wish him good luck nonetheless. COACH Not too much luck though. The camera cuts to...the boiler room. And inside the boiler room lies "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican, blindfolded, and sitting in a wooden chair. All that's in the room is a table and a lamp that is the only light in the otherwise dark room. PRL is quivering in his seat as Bohemoth appears in the shot, wearing one of his pimp suits. BOHEMOTH Do you know why I brought you here? THA PUERTO RICAN Uhh...no? BOHEMOTH I brought you here because I wanted to talk to you tonight. Without any interruptions. Just you...and me. PRL W--wh--why? Why? Why are you doing this? BOHEMOTH Because, in two weeks time, I am going to make sure you never wrestle again! At School's Out, in the Hell In A Cell Match, I am going to make sure that you don't walk out of that match ALIVE. So, because May 27th will be the last anyone will ever hear of Tha Puerto Rican, I thought that tonight we'd take a look back. A look back at all the dirty, disgusting, horrendous, brutal, vicious, and nasty things you've done ever since you came to the OAOAST. I want you to remember all the people you've hurt, betrayed, lied to, and inflicted pain on. Because on May 27th, they will all be watching as I take all that pain you've done to people...and throw it back at you. May 27th will be your JUDGMENT DAY. PRL ...Oh...God. The crowd cheers as Bohemoth circles Tha Puerto Rican in the boiler room. (Cut to Sofa Central with Michael Cole and Jonathan "Da Coach" Coachman) COACH I can't believe we're allowing Bohemoth to get away with this! THEY'RE IN THE BOILER ROOM! GET THEM! COLE Well, Bohemoth hasn't done anything wrong! He's simply interrogating Tha Puerto Rican. COACH INTERROGATING? Cole, by the end of the night, PRL might no longer be an active member of the OAOAST! COLE I'm sure you're the only one complaining about that. COACH You're sick. You know that? You're sick. SICK! SICK! SICK! COMMERCIAL BREAK COMING UP NEXT Former champions seek a return to glory The Heavenly Rockers Vs Los Conquistadors NEXT

From the AT&T Bricktown Ballpark opened in Oklahoma City's Bricktown district! Hopefully the players will be off the field by the time show begins! If it makes the concept easier just imagine the entrance stage is around the home plate area. Tag titles Blonde and Faqu Vs Chicks Over Dicks

Space has been left for incoming segments. Lots of stuff for a show with only five writers. And some pretty good shit.

CREDITS Tony-tone KC PRL j.cross Alf patty O