Patty O'Green

THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD HeldDOWN's newest (and temporary?) theme song, the Shop Boys's Party Like A Rockstar remix featuring Lil Jon pumps through the speakers of television sets worldwide. The rock influenced hip-hop comes packed with tremendous adrenaline, preparing a legion of fans for the amazing display of athletics they're soon to witness. Highlights for each of the show's main characters are displayed. Before each set, a close up of the character is shown with their name written in crystallized orange letters on the lower left hand corner of the screen. The performers are displayed in locations specific to their personalities, The South Central Militia on the night cloaked streets of South LA, Bohemoth pumping iron in the gym, Theodore Moneymaker situated in a dark board room encased by mountainous stacks of cold hard cash, etc,etc. After the final shot the logo appears on screen... FEMALE VOICE OVER And now, courtesy of Budweiser Select, The OAOAST, and The New Orleans Arena it is time for HeldDOWN! Forget the typical panning of the audience, their incredible noise of the many ovations are enough to clue the world into how excited these fans are. Thus we settle right onto the announce team of cables highest rated Entertainment program. COACH Welcome to the NOLA, New Orleans, Louisiana! Johnathan Coachman right beside Michael Cole! COLE Coach, The Big Easy is ready for tonight's action, but are you? COLE Hell yes I am! Because we're finally going to get to see the long awaited match between Vitamin X and Caboose from Syndicated. And Jacob Cross makes his oaoast debut against Abdullah Abir Nerdly! Abdullah is best known for his big mouth and bigger ego, and I bet Cross wants to shut him up and cut him down to size tonight. That should be an exciting match, can't wait to see it! COLE And the tag titles will be on the line, thanks to meddling from Theodore Moneymaker. He has paid over a half a million dollars in contracts, and transfer fees, to bring a German team by the name of Die Todeshändler to our shores to unseat the nearly unbeatable tag team champions, Chicks Over Dicks. Good luck with that! .:CUE: Trust Company, "Rock The Casbah":. The Nawlins crowd pop, not just because they've been waiting in the arena for a couple of hours now watching video packages and dark matches and are glad the show is finally starting, but because it's starting with the returning LEON RODEZ!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Marching down the aisle, Leon bypasses the out-stretched hands of the fans with an unusual lack of response for his fans. Not breaking stride, up the steps jogs Leon, motioning to the confused looking Michael Buffer to hand him the microphone. Which he does, Buffer and referee Charles Robinson who clearly weren't expecting Leon's arrival quickly leaving the ring as The Silky Smooth One signals for the music to cut. LEON Theodore Moneymaker... bring your ass, to the ring, NOW! *THUD!* The microphone goes flying as Leon has said all he's about to say. Ripping off his t-shirt and throwing it aside, Leon beckons to the back. COLE And we're certainly wasting no time here tonight. Leon Rodez has called out Theodore Moneymaker, as he promised to do last week... I don't think we've ever seen Leon this fired up ever before. And you can't blame him after everything that's gone down with his little sister in recent weeks. COACH She made her choice. Besides, I thought Leon was supposed to be 'above' all this sorta call people out and kick their ass mentality? COLE This is differenent. The Enterprise crossed the line at AngleMania and now, they're going to have to deal with the consequences! COACH They don't have to do anything they don't want. Why? Because they're rich! And rich people... "You break the laws You hustle, you deal, you steal from us all Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Money talks" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Well, here we go! Finally the wish seems to be granted as to Leon's relief Theodore Moneymaker does indeed appear through the sliding doors of doom. However, he's not alone, flanked by The Enterprise's Director Of Security and one third of the OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions, Christopher Patrick Allen. And apparantly not in any hurry to get to the ring. Moneymaker produces a microphone from his smocking jacket pocket, laughing to himself as Leon waves him towards the ring. MONEYMAKER Hold on a minute, little man. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MONEYMAKER Now, I knew you were coming here tonight to call me out. But, I have to be honest with ya, I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it for myself. Do you really think that I'm just gonna walk down this aisle and step into that ring with you because you TELL me too? No no no, you see, that's not how things work when you do business with The Enterprise my friend. Rolling his eyes, Leon lounges on the ropes through what's shaping up to be a lengthy monologue. MONEYMAKER First of all, you're lucky I'm even here tonight! Had I not important matters to attend to tonight, you can bet your last nickel that Theodore Moneymaker would have done the smart thing and just like my good friend George Dubya, he would have stayed the hell away from New Orleans! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Now that's just uncalled for! COACH I agree. If Mr. Bush could have possibly got to New Orleans, he would have. FOUR MORE YEARS! FOUR MORE YEARS! "TE - DDY SUCKS!" "TE - DDY SUCKS!" "TE - DDY SUCKS!" "TE - DDY SUCKS!" MONEYMAKER And that's exactly why! People in third world level states like this don't have the proper decency and courtesy to fully respect a man of my financial stature. But, against the best advise from my confidents, I manned up, I went to my private doctor, I had shots for every impoverish disease known to man and I brave the trip to this god-forsaken state! But I certainly didn't do it to answer your challenge, little man! Not entirely surprised, Leon makes a 'yakkety-yak' gesture with his hand and motions for Theodore to get to the point. MONEYMAKER Obviously, you don't have much experience dealing with wealthy businessmen such as myself. Which, coming from your kid of industry is no surprise. If you did, you'd know about a little thing that we in the business world call a 'heirachy'. You see, if you go down to Trump Towers, you're not gonna expect to find The Donald sweeping the floors in the lobby. He's gonna be right at the top, overseeing everybody else. If you went along to Microsoft's headquarters, you wouldn't expect to just waltz on in and find yourself in a meeting with Bill Gates. And as the Chief Executive Officer of The Enterprise, you're not just gonna get to go face to face with me, without working your way up through the heirachy. COLE What's that supposed to mean? MONEYMAKER You see, I'm a busy man Rodez. Too busy to be dealing with the likes of you, that's for sure! If you want a meeting with Mr. Moneymaker, you're going to have to go through the proper channels and I don't call walking out onto this show, on a network in which I hold considerable stock might I add, and demanding me to come and fight the 'proper channels'. Infact, I'd say that's threatening behaviour. Which is a breach in security. So, congratulations, because you've just reeached step one on the heirachy and you're gonna have to go through CPA! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" With a pat on the back from the 'boss', CPA suddenly begins to stomp down the aisle and to the ring! Leon doesn't back down though and seeing what's happening, he quickly slides out of the ring and meets CPA coming in the aisle with a flurry of right hands! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE It looks like we've got ourselves an impromptu fight breaking out here! Theodore Moneymaker has released the hounds on Leon Rodez! COACH Excellent! Rodez takes the fight to CPA but gets caught with a kneelift to the gut, stopping him in his tracks. Collecting himself, CPA ducks low and grabs Leon around the waist, bulling him backwards. And with Leon unable to stop the 280 pounder's momentum, he finds himself driven SPINE FIRST INTO THE RING APRON!! Leon slumps forward into CPA who deposits him into the ring and follows, leaving Charles Robinson no other choice but to call for a bell! *DINGDINGDING!* COLE So much for an impromptu fight... this is an impromptu match! CPA and Leon Rodez, what an unexpected start to the show! COACH That's what you can guarantee from Theodore Moneymaker, value for money. The man just gives and gives Mikey, I don't get why people always see the need to badmouth him. As CPA puts the boots to Leon, the satisfied CEO of The Enterprise decides he's no longer needed and with a nod of the head he leaves his Directory Of Security to it. Which is fine by CPA apparantly, scooping Leon up and slamming him in the centre of the ring. Backing into the ropes, CPA follows up with a legdrop, leaving it draped over Leon for the pin... 1... 2... No! Frustrated at not getting the pin, CPA tries instead to choke the life out of Rodez... "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR! "FI..." ...which is illegal of course, forcing him to break before a disqualification. Holding up his hands to the crime, CPA backs away as Rodez rolls towards the ropes in order to pull himself back up. As he does though, he's being measured up for a custom-made clothesline from Allen. Pulling himself off the ropes, Leon turns around just as CPA comes charging in... ...AND BACKDROPS HIM UP AND OVER THE TOP!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" CPA strikes his lower back on the apron on the way down, which bumps him on into the barricade, all of which applauded by the fans around him. In the ring Leon, still in his jeans mind you, fires up the crowd as he finally realises he's in a fight. COLE The format has been thrown out of the window, we've got a fight on our hands! We have to take a quick commercial break to keep the advertisers happy, but we'll be right back, don't go anywhere! *COMMERCIAL BREAK!* We resume in progress, the fight back in the ring now as Leon fires off blows on CPA, who hasn't seemed to have recovered from the fall earlier on. The New Orleans fans are getting into it, although thankfully not literally, routing on every punch from The Silky Smooth One. COLE We are back and the battle rages on here on HeldDOWN~! CPA and Leon Rodez, in what is thankfully now something resembling a wrestling match, although neither man seems to be dressed for it. An unexpected treat here tonight. As yet another punch finds the mark, Leon sees that CPA is staggered and quickly turns on his heels to hit the ropes. CPA isn't quite as staggered as he seemed though and has enough wits about him to knock Leon down on the rebound with a clothesline. The crowd boo that one, only to do a quick 180 moments later as Allen misses the follow-up elbow attempt, pre-concerned with his arm as he climbs up which allows Leon to stun him with a Small Package... 1... 2... No! A wild clothesline attempt from CPA misses this time as both men get back to their feet, Rodez hitting the ropes again as he avoids the shot. This time CPA goes defensive, ducking his head. But does it too early and gets takes over with a Sunset Flip... 1... 2... No! Again both men rush back to their feet, but this it's CPA who gets a first shot in with a well placed knee. A clubbing forearm over the back later and down goes Leon, CPA finally able to buy himself a few seconds to get his bearings back before he hauls him back up and whips him to a corner. Leon hits the turnbuckles and nestles in the corner as CPA gets as full run-up from the opposite side, looking to crush The Grand Rapids Golden Child with an Avalanche... ...and EATS boot! Not literally, although with the force he hits Leon's foot, it's pretty close. COLE A little too much haste and not enough speed from the bigman right there. As CPA staggers away, Leon lifts himself up onto the second rope and waits. But with more time than he thought, he decides to go one rung up instead, soaring off the top with a Ricky Steamboat esque Flying Crossbody! CPA sees it coming but can't do much about it, except walk straight into it's path... 1... Kickout! CPA doesn't waste any time in muscling his way out of the pin... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...but walks into a knifedge chop on the way back up! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a second. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...make it three! Striking the bigman doesn't seem to be yielding much success though and Leon realises his mistake, just as he gets grabbed by the ears and HEADBUTTED down by the Director Of Security! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Leon stopped the hit-and-move and tried to just hit. And, he paid for it. COACH No kidding. Lesson to all you kids out there, don't try and chop a nightclub bouncer, retired or otherwise. It ain't gonna end well. As Rodez checks his nose is still in place lying on the canvas, CPA drags him right back to his feet. Backing Leon into the ropes, a big forearm clubs down across the sternum from CPA, who now he's finally caught his opponent can really begin to dish out some damage. CPA lands another big overhand to the chest. And a third. Pushing Leon back into the ropes, Allen then sends Leon for the ride, catching him coming back off the irish whip with a big Diving Clothesline that cuts him right off his feet!! Leon comes down hard on his neck and goes right to it, as CPA applies the lateral press... 1... 2... NO! Sitting Leon back up, CPA has had enough of being given the run around and applies a simple but effective neck vice on The Silky Smooth One, pulling a page out of the albeit limited Zeus playbook. COLE It's worth pointing out, this is only Leon's second match back since October after that neck injury suffered during War Games. COACH And trust me, although CPA didn't have time to prepare for this match there's not a person in the locker room who doesn't know about it. That neck is going to have a bullseye on it for a long time to come. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" The Louisana fans start to get behind Leon now as CPA leans in on the hold, twisting Leon's head until his ear is pressed against his shoulder. The fist is pumping from Rodez though and he's drawing on the energy of the crowd, somehow finding the willpower to fight to his feet, even with his neck at such a contorted angle. CPA keeps on twisting, but suddenly gets rocked with an elbow to the breadbasket! Another! And a third! Third time isn't the charm... but the fourth is, Leon finally freeing himself from the vice like grip of Christopher Patrick Allen and finding space to land a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels... *SMACK!* ...and nailing CPA upside the head with the enziguri! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! COACH BUT HE'S STILL UP! Yes. CPA is still up, but staggered by the enziguri. Dragging himself up, the effort from the first kick seems to have been wasted by Leon. So, he looks to make amends with a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns again, blowing the kiss to the opposite side this time... *SMACK!* ...and this time, the enziguri fells CPA! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! Uhm... again! Cover by Leon... 1... 2... NO!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Not enough just yet. CPA may have limited singles match experience, but there's no doubting he's tough. COACH Of course not! And let's not forget he's one third of the 6-Man Tag Team Champions of the World, he's not some slouch and he's improving day on day thanks to The Enterprise. Leon retreats into a corner now, working out the kinks in his neck as he waits for CPA to get back up. Nursing a bit of a headache himself, CPA climbs back up, looking around for his opponent momentarily until he comes charging into view... CAUGHT! CPA blocks the crossbody, catching Leon in his arms and with a quick twist PLANTING him with a big Powerslam! COACH LIKE THAT! 1... 2... KICKOUT! Glaring at referee Robinson, CPA pulls Leon up roughly by the head. And it looks like it may be all (s)he wrote, as he gives the signal for the Dominator! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Here we go! The move that won The Enterprise the 6-Man Titles, retained them the titles... this is the end! Simple as that! Gutwrench, CPA pausing for a second before he hauls Leon up over his shoulder for the DOMINATO... NO! Leon slips loose down the back and hooks onto Allen's arms, looking for a Backslide... AND GETTING IT... 1... 2... NO, TWO ONLY!! COLE Leon just unable to keep the 6'6", 280 pounder down! Back to his feet first, CPA swings... and MISSES with a clothesline! Rodez manages to duck the big arm swinging towards him and runs into the space created in front of him, hitting the ropes and soaring with a Flying Forearm. He connects, but almost bounces off of CPA in the process, watching from the canvas as Allen slowly topples, falling into the middle rope and eventually ending up slumped over it, to the excitement of the crowd. COLE Uh-oh. COACH Oh, what are the chances!? Forgoing the full jig, a little shuffle will have to do as Leon hits the ropes, shooting back and driving all his weight into the spine! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE CALL THAT BITCH BOJANGLES! Leon fires up the New Orleans natives as he waits on CPA, peeling himself off the ropes. Lumbering around he walks into a boot, Rodez hooking him in a 3/4 facelock and looking to run to the corner to slice some bread. But, CPA isn't going with him. COACH HAHA! No way Ro-say! COLE Ro-say?! Digging his heels in, the bigman refuses to be dragged along for the Sliced Bread #2 and eventually drives his forearm into Leon's kidneys, blocking the move altogether. As he waits for Leon to turn around, CPA then loads up the big clothesline again. But again it doesn't find the mark, although this time it's due to Rodez pulling off a quick 360, driving his boot into the gut of CPA with a Rolling Sole BUTT! The kick has enough behind it to stop CPA dead in his tracks and double him over, Leon again hooking the head for the Sliced Bread... ...but, again, CPA is going nowhere... ...so Leon improvises, grabbing Charles Robinson by the collar of his striped shirt and pulling off the SLICED BREAD #2 from a standing position!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE FEEDBACK THIS~! COACH Wait... that's not fair! He put his hands on an official, that's an automatic disqualification!! Robinson looks a little flustered but doesn't call for the bell, merely straightening out his shirt and warning Leon to keep his hands off the merchandise in the future. Which falls on deaf ears though, the roar of the crowd drowning him out as Rodez exits the ring and heads to the top rope! CPA is just about within range and as Leon reaches the top, he makes sure to steady himself, before getting full purchase on the 450 SPLASH!! Hook of the leg... 1... 2... AND 3!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* COLE He got him! What a win! BUFFER Your winner of this match... "SILKY SMOOTH" LLLEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRROOOOOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZ!!! The fans leap to their feet, but Leon isn't quite so happy. Well, he's happy to get the win. But it's clear it's not the victory he wanted as he allows referee Robinson to raise his hand only briefly before pulling it back and clutching it to his neck. Glaring down at CPA, Leon manages a half a smile, as he notices the camera on the apron right by him and sends a very clear message. LEON One down, three to go. COLE Well, I think that speaks loud and clear Coach. Theodore Moneymaker talked about a heirachy and I think Leon Rodez is happy to go through each and every member of The Enterprise until he gets to the top and the man he wants to get his hands on, the CEO, one Mr. Moneymaker himself! Leon rolls out of the ring and heads off to the back, this time tagging a few hands even. Meanwhile, CPA begins to stir in the ring and soon notices it empty, no-one waiting around to be in his way. The camera cuts to The Lightning Crew dressing room where "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican is shown TERRIFIED. The CORPORATE OAOAST X-Division Champion is sitting on a sofa rocking back and forth as though he is in a trance. He is sweating bullets (not literally of course) and trembling in his Corporate suit and tie. The OAOAST X-Division Championship belt sits on a table next to him. The rest of The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick can only watch as PRL begins speaking while the crowd boos. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN Can't sleep. Bo will eat me. Can't sleep. Bo will eat me. Can't sleep. Bo will eat me. Can't sleep. Bo will eat me. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK P.R. PRL Can't sleep. Bo will eat me. Can't sleep. Bo will eat me. POPICK P.R. PRL Can't sleep. Bo will eat me. Can't sleep. Bo will eat me. POPICK P.R.! PRL Can't sleep. Bo will eat me. POPICK PR!!! PRL .... POPICK P.R., Edward, buddy. Relax. Calm down. This match isn't as terrifying as you make it sound. PRL continues rocking back and forth, staring into nothingness. PRL ...Do you realize what's going to happen to me on May 27th? I am going to be competing in a Hell In A Cell Match. For the first time. Ever. And I'm doing it against a guy who is 6'7" 284 pounds and (gulp) wants to KILL me! And no, I don't mean that metaphorically speaking. I mean he wants to TAKE MY LIFE AWAY FROM ME! PRL is shaking even more as he continues talking. PRL This is unlike anything I've ever experienced. In only three weeks, I am going to be locked in a giant cell with a monster! By myself. Without any of you! And...I'm scared. No, I'm not scared. I'M HORRIFIED! Do you realize what he's going to do to me in that Cell? I'm going to be scarred, bloodied, beaten! He's going to rip me apart limb from limb! With the bleeding and the hurting and the yelling! He's going to make sure I don't have any teeth! I'm going to get married soon! He's going to make sure I go to the wedding IN A WHEELCHAIR! POPICK P.R.! P.R.! Listen, there's nothing to worry about. You are doubting your abilites again! PRL ABILITIES? WHAT GOOD DOES HAVING ABILITY DO WHEN YOU HAVE A RUNAWAY TRAIN GUNNING FOR YOUR ASS!? POPICK P.R.! You're thinking negative again! Remember what we talked about? Always think positive, never think negative! Now look, I know this match looks like it'll be a challenge from the outside. PRL Mmm-hmm! POPICK But P.R., don't you realize how great you are? You are the most underrated wrestler in the OAOAST! You've got untapped potential! Hell, you haven't even hit your prime yet! PRL 28-32 is your prime, afterwards you decline. Do you agree with this? DAMMIT! How do I still remember that!? POPICK Ed, this match is going to be a big one, no doubt. But it's not going to be big because Bohemoth is going to 'destroy' you. No, it's going to be big, because you, Tha Puerto Rican, MY CORPORATE Champion, is going to kill the beast. You, my friend, are going to step inside The Devil's Playground, and you will come out a WINNER! PR, this is your night! Just like your buddy Vitamin X did a few weeks ago, on Sunday May 27th, you will show the world just how great you really are! At School's Out, you are going to lay the smackdown like you always do, and even though none of us will be in the Cell with you, know that we've still got your back, metaphorically speaking of course. PRL That's a nice motivational speech, Popick, but you have no idea what it's like to have a demon wanting to kill you inside a giant metal hell. This match is on my mind 24/7. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't work out. I can't do anything. MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ It's true. He's been up the past three days. PRL I see him everywhere. It's like Bohemoth is stalking me. I see him on the street. I see him in the bathroom. I see him in the shower. PRL turns to Lindsay. PRL I see his face on your body when I'm making love to you. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is disgusted upon hearing this. Popick is speechless. So is the crowd. POPICK Wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I...did not...expect to...hear that. That's really disturbing. PRL Bohemoth is EVERYWHERE, Stephen! I'm going to die! I'm really going to die! I know death is inevitable, but...oh my God. OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD I AM GOING TO DIE! HE'S GOING TO KILL ME! BO IS GOING TO KILL ME! He's going to utterly destroy me! He's going to make me wish I'd never been born! Oh no! Oh no! I'm hyperventilating! I'm hyperventilating! I NEVER hyperventilate! PRL hyperventilates while Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, The Bone Thug, and Thomas Rodriguez all gather around and try to calm down The Corporate Champ. Popick has another idea. PRL Oh my God! Oh my God! I'm going to die! I'm going to die! I'm going to-- *SLAP!* Popick SLAPS PRL across his face! He does it again! And again! And again! POPICK SNAP OUT OF IT! PRL is out of it. His eyes are glazed over. The lights are on, but nobody's home. POPICK PR, you are SPECIAL! When will you realize this? On May 27th, Bohemoth will feel the Corporate Nightmare, just like everyone else in this damn company! Now either you straighten up and fly right, or I'm gonna have to slap you harder than your mommy slapped you back in the day! This is YOUR match to win, not Bohemoth's! Bohemoth is mince meat on May 27th at School's Out! You've got his number! You OWN Bohemoth! He's going to be eaten ALIVE! YOU GOT THAT!? PRL just looks at the ceiling. SJP And of course there's always Plan B. PRL ...What's Plan B? STEPHEN Well...the OAOAST Board of Directors has made it so that you and Bohemoth cannot touch each other at all until School's Out. If you and him get into any physical altercation before May 27th, the match is cancelled. PRL perks up at hearing this. PRL Really? POPICK Yes. Really. PRL cracks a half-smile. PRL Really? POPICK Yes. Really. PRL So, I can do anything I want to Bohemoth...ANYTHING AT ALL...and if he beats me up...the match is off? That's it! No Hell In A Cell at School's Out? POPICK Absolutely little buddy! PRL's half-smile becomes a full smile, which then turns into an evil grin. Puerto even puts his right hand underneath his jaw to complete the gesture. PRL Hmmm. I think I like the sound of that! POPICK But don't take the easy way out, Puerto! Remember, School's Out is YOUR night! Not Zack Malibu's, not Drek Stone's, not whoever. It's YOURS! They might have to rename the pay-per-view Corporate Nightmare after you're finished with Bohemoth, that braindead musclehead! PRL I know, Popick. I know. But...you know...just in case. I'd like to go to the ring and uh...have a *talk* with Bohemoth! You know. Just a talk. POPICK Just a talk? PRL Yes. Just a talk! Popick looks at PRL with a suspcious expression on his face. He hesitates, but then... POPICK --Okay. But that's it. Just a talk. Because I KNOW you can beat Bohemoth at School's Out. I can FEEL IT! PR Yeah. Yeah. I know. Guys, I'll be right back. Gotta go take care of a little something something! Ciao! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican gets up and leaves through the door. Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, Thomas Rodriguez, Mr. Boricua, and Stephen Joseph Popick watch him leave. Popick then turns his attention to Ms. Lindsay. POPICK I'm sure you found what PRL said about Bohemoth a little...weird. MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ Nah, not really. I always imagine Tobey Macguire's face on PRL's body. Ay Papi! POPICK Ooookay. Popick lets what Lindsay just said about her fantasy of making love to the Spider-Man star sink in as we fade to black with the crowd booing. FADE TO BLACK Commercials COMING UP NEXT A smooth soul brother returns home "Sweet" Lucius Soul vs. Moracca We cut to an image of a shirtless Moracca, figure stashed behind a pair of tight blue jeans, leaning against an El Camino that sits in an empty arena parking lot. The camera is positioned beneath him, making the five foot seven luchadore appear taller then he truly is. The shining sun beats down on his mocha colored skin, lending it a glistening look as he speaks. The view alternates between the upward shot, and intimidating close ups of the grappler. Well as intimidating as man in a pink mask, body glitter, and skin tight jeans can possibly be. MORACCA Even in wildest dream Lucius Soul can not defeat me. I am better fighter then him, I am better looking then him, I am better dancer then him, and I am better lover them him, ask his father. He is nothing to me, and he is nothing to oaoast. No? That is why I am Anderson Cup finalist, and he is paper champion of paper federation. In my mind fight is already over, I have already won. If you want to get down and boogie after show, my afterparty is at the Oz on Bourbon street. His is at New Orleans General hospital hospital.

COMING UP NEXT America's Sweethearts meet Germany's Worst ****OAOAST World Tag Team Titles**** Chicks Over Dicks Vs Die Todeshändler Chilling in her usual hangout of the OAOAST ActionZone is goth-prep, Maggie Nerdly. Attired in faded black AC/DC shirt and shredded black jeans, the eighteen year old stretches her petite body across the granite announce desk in the middle of the picture. MAGGIE What's good, ya'll? We're rocking it tonight on OAOAST AfterParty, the hottest spot on the Triple W. This week we'll check out Cuban Wall's garage of Harley Davidson's, learn how to survive a drive by shooting with The South Central Militia, and catch some gnarly waves with my brothers Marvin and Melvin. Ladies, be sure to check that out, because those boys are too hot to miss....Wait....I just called my brothers hot. That's very, very unfortunate. Don't let my creepiness stop you from swinging by however, because we got what you need. Afterparty. Be there. When HeldDOWN returns from it's break, Theodore Moneymaker, attired in dapper pinstriped suit has taken residence at the announce table. His presence certainly doesn't go unnoticed by the fans, who pepper him with jeers and cat calls. Coach, however, is tickled with delight to have the wealthy heir at this side. COACH Mister Moneymaker ever since I heard you speak at the young republicans convention in Kansas in 2002, I have idolized you. And I fully support the way you handled that scuzz king Leon Rodez earlier tonight! MONEYMAKER Of honorable reckoning are you, Mister Coachman. I imagine it won't be much of an ordeal to sit at your side for the next ten minutes. COLE Theodore it appears to most observers that you seem to have become totally obsessed with not only waging a psychological war on America's Sweethearts, Chicks Over Dicks, but also stripping them of their tag team titles. So far you have either offered or spent over three million dollars in your efforts to see your goal to completion. Why all the anger and the hatred for two girls who probably didn't even know you existed until you won the Anderson Cup. MONEYMAKER “And I myself will fight against you with an outstretched hand and with a strong arm, even in anger, and in fury, and in great wrath. And I will smite the inhabitants of this city, both man and beast; they shall die of a great pestilence." Jeremiah 21:5,6. As Cole complains that Moneymaker biblical quote held no relevance to the question, the view switches tolegendary ring announcer Michael Buffer. A microphone rests in front of his pursed lips, as random cheers and shouts from the excited audience surrounds him. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a television time limit of thirty minutes, and it is for the OAOAST world tag team titles.... The mention of the highly contested belts generates a grand pop, as the audience eagerly awaits the beloved champions. BUFFER Introducing first the challengers..... Buffer's voice trails into nothingness, being lost behind the dark cloak that settles over the arena. Flashing white lights atop the entrance stage pierce through the darkness. The decidedly military sound of Rammstien's Du Hast pumps through the speakers, it's industrial hardness lending a tight tension to the proceedings. Grizzly images of murders, violence and various other occurrences of blood filed chaos in German history litter the Angletron, disgusting the more squeamish members of the audience. Du Du hast Du hast mich Du Du hast Du hast mich Emerging from the twisting wave of spotlights is Moneymaker's hired goons, the mysterious Die Todeshändler (I forgot what that word means!). Standing with head lowered, and index finger raised towards the heavens is Lukas Heydrich, his last name scrawled in bold white across his black leather trunks. An indisputably handsome fellow, his thick and chiseled face is corrupted by a contemptible smirk that lies encased behind a wall of stubble. Smooth brown hair pours behind his head, while stray strands hang delicately in front his onyx eyes. His lean figure goes no taller then five feet and ten inches, yet his impressive muscularity marks him a formidable force. His partner, Stefan Von Helldorf, equals his every last droplet of arrogance, motor mouth already dismissing a mutually hostile crowd. Similar in attractiveness to his ally, Von Helldorf's blond hair lays short, and his thin frame reaches an inch above the six foot mark COLE God lord, sweet Jesus. Well, Theo, I may think you're a pompus windbag, but I can't argue with your taste in men. Lord have mercy! MONEYMAKER Why thank....wait....My tatse...IN WHAT? What is it with you people, always trying to force your perverse views on innocent god fearing citizens like myself? This is a result of my tastes in athletes. My impeccable scouting eye for those men who show above all else a killer instinct, an unquenchable drive for success, and a healthy disrespect for the left wing femi-nazi's who seek to destroy the Western World. They are here because of their athletic ability not to fulfill your spank boy fantasies of a homesick foreign exchange student in dire need of male companionship! COLE I just said they're good looking, you're the one starting in on some repressed teenage lust from your prep school years. BUFFER First from Stuttgart, Germany, he is a former member of the German national ice hockey team, weighing in a total weight of an even two hundred pounds he is STEFAN “GRANATWERFER” VON HELLLLL......DOOOOORRRRF! And his tag team partner, hailing from Berlin, Germany, he is a former player in the German Bundesliga, weighing in at two hundred and eleven pounds, LUKAS HEEEEEY....DRIIIIICH! Together they are DIE TODESHANDLEERRRRR! The mention of his team's name, leads Von Helldorf to twirl beneath the swirl of spotlights that escort him to the battleground. Heydrich merely tosses his arms and head towards the sky, a symbol of triumphant rebellion in the face of a detesting crowd. COLE Out of the all the tag teams in the oaoast, all the tag teams in the world, why pick these two? What makes them so special? MONEYMAKER What doesn't make them so special? Bodies of greek gods, in ring skills that rival even myself, and a shrewd mental acumen that will easily out power those acid tripping skanks in COD. The oaoast tag teams are weak willed ninnies, unable to come to grips with wrestling women, and they wilt under pressure. Von Helldorf was on the German national hockey team, and Heydrich played in the Bundesliga, the top soccer league in the world. These two thrive under athletic pressure! They are men after my own heart! Von Helldorf is the first to enter the squared circle, his smirk never once in danger of leaving his face. He's wholly unimpressed with walking through the same ring as such legends as Zack Malibu, Alfdogg, and Drek Stone, and signifies his disgust for the oaoast by drenching it's mat based logo with a wad of spit. Heydrich takes up the duty of kissing the ass of the man who's given him half a million dollars just to show up, Mister Moneymaker. MONEYMAKER Gratitude. Something that has been in short supply from the many teams I allowed to compete in the tag title battle royal. I heard not a single thank you, not a lone word of appreciation from the ungrateful mongs who'd never sniff hide or hair of an OAOAST mainevent if it weren't for me. But these men, these proud German warriors......they understand, and they respect. God bless them. “U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!” the xenophobic fans chant, while the targets of their ire ascend to the top turnbuckles, with arms folded and lips smirking. Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend! Hey, hey, you, you! I know that you like me! No way, no way! No, it's not a secret Hey, hey, you, you!! I want to be your girlfriend! The infectious pop beat of Girlfriend by Avril Lavinge floods the arena with it's familiar melody. It's soon accompanied by a thunderous ovation from the now standing crowd, who already throw chants of “C-O-D! C-O-D!” into the sky. A pink pyro waterfall darts down from the ceiling splashing bright sparks about the entry way. It's then kissed by a stunning red pyro fountain. COACH Cover them ears! Once the opening pyro act closes, the grand finale of a golden pyro wall erupts across the entire stage. The entry way inherits a thick cloud of smoke from the departed pyro. Through this misty fortress steps the traffic stopping blond, Krista Isadora Duncan. A tight black tank top, which features the logo of the chic clothing company Grail, hugs the contours of slender body. A pair of bell bottoms flares from her long legs. They're a work of art that Michaelangelo would've marveled it, each leg sports an intricate design of a bleeding heart, drawn in the pattern of the American flag with a blood soaked sword driving through it's very center. On the back, written in sparkling rhinestones are the letters USA.. Her hands head towards her hips, and her mouth flashes a disinterested smirk, showing she's not terribly concerned with her foes for the night. “C-O-D! C-O-D!” Behind Krista, skips Alix Spezia. Enamored with working the screaming audience into further frenzy, she eagerly pumps her arm and head to sound of her bubblegum song. In terms of attire, Alix exudes an unbelievable sexiness, her ample chest accentuated by a glittering American flag pattern bikini top. The matching booty shorts ride high on her hips, showcasing thighs, and flawless tanned skin that run up and around her toned legs. As she prances across the stage, her movement is jolted by a sudden tug on her wrist. The burst shifts her body off balance, but she's denied an embarrassing spill to the floor when Krista gracefully twirls her into an embrace. Alix stnds panting, within the circle of Krista's caressing arms, head tilted back and eyes closed, offering a seductive kiss to the camera. Super imposed red lips flash onto the screen, a cute little graphic in the mind of anyone not named Theodore Moneymaker. COLE Hey, Moneybags, I wouldn't mind seeing you strut in that outfit Alix has on! How about it? MONEYMAKER Switch seats with me, Mister Coachman. BUFFER And the champions, first, from Los Angeles, California, she is the CEO of Mrs.Spezia's sweeties, a two time 24/7 champion, ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! And her partner, from Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, she is Miss California Krista Isadora Duncan! Together they are three time world tag team champions, Hollywood “It” Girls, America's Sweethearts, Chicks Over Dicks! “C-O-D! C-O-D!” MONEYMAKER I don't see why this company feels the need to openly flaunt the lifestyles lived by these women! For over two thousand years homosexuality has been considered an abomination in the eyes of the lord. It says so in Duetoeronomy. If a man lieth with another man he must be put to death! The same goes for a woman! End of story! COLE So this is pure moral outrage, huh? I guess the fact they embarrassed you at Anglemania, refused to sell you the tag titles and spent the weeks leading up to the match insulting you and Christian has nothing to do with it. As the girls trek down the aisle, Alix tosses kisses to her army of adoring fans, who are more then happy to return the gesture, and offer their own proclamations of love. Krista is much to engrossed in the task of fluffing her supermodel worthy blond locks to bother with interacting with the paying customers. And if you've been to “Nawlins” lately, you'd certainly understand why. The girls arrive on the ring apron, where their music shuts down, leaving the noise of the capacity crowd as the only sound. Krista remains on the apron, meaning that Alix will begin the bout. “LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!” Alix Maria Spezia steps towards the scowling Von Helldorf for an opening lock up. But the conceited German does not meet her movement, and instead slides towards her side in order to trap her with a top wristlock. While the audience begins singing her name, Von Helldorf uses his strength to push her along the ring, his mouth rambling a wealth of trash talk. Alix quickly grows tired of being insulted in a language she'll never understand, and rolls to the canvas, then kips back to her feet. The sudden shift in movement weakens SVH's grip just enough to allow The Hollywood Bad Girl to turn the tables with an arm wrench. This counter leaves the twenty nine year old wincing in pain, and generates a solid round of applause from the audience. MONEYMAKER In what's commonly referred to as the land of opportunity, I seem to be the only one for miles and miles who is willing to extend his hand and grant that very thing. These boys have had to sit idly by, powerless, as they watch the once proud German Empire be torn apart by the Treaty of Versailles. Germany's grandiose economy has been systematically reduced to rubble by the greed of the Western Allies, led by that intellectually incoherent jackass, Woodrow Wilson. My kindness is the only thing saving them from joining up with that rabble rouser, Adolph something or other. While Theodore remains lost in a ludicrous timewarp, Alix tweaks Stefan's muscular limb so roughly, one might think she was attempting to remove it from it's socket! As she holds the tormented body part above her head, Ally delves into a bit of R-rated showboating, furiously bucking and grinding her much lusted after BUTT. Her bubblegum pink lips curve into a seductive grin that further hurls the audience into a hormonal overdrive. Somewhere in heaven, Thomas Jefferson knees Betsy Ross in the crotch, and punches out George Washington to get to the baby oil and box of Charmins, because he's never seen Old Glory waved in such a delectable manner. Back on earth, however, SVH is far too concerned with the white hot pain in his arm to notice that a hot babe is currently jiggling and wiggling her prized assets in front of his very eyes. What doesn't escape his notice is Alix letting go of his arm, and trapping him into a front facelock. Alarm bells blare inside of Stefan's head at the thought of enduring a brutal DDT Thus the panicky brute, places his hands onto Al's bare stomach and roughly shoves her away. Before she can even entertain the thought of reacquiring the hold, the Stuttgart native snatches her into his own front facelock. The adored babyface is hauled into the air for a basic vertical suplex. But the move goes horribly wrong for “Granatwerfer”, as Ally shifts her body in midair and drags him down to the canvas with a hurricanrana! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” the still standing audience sings. Stef immediately springs to his feet, and darts towards the vexatious lass. But she meets his charge by leaping into the air, and crooking her arm across his neck for the Sucker Free DDT. Unfortunately, the former hockey star disposes of her with a casual shove. The exact second that she lands, Stef is already unleashing a diving shoulder block upon her! But the adorable covergirl counteracts this strike, she leaping forward and jumbling his insides with an inverted lung blower. As the spectators cheer the flashy moves, the hunky European flops onto his backside, allowing Alix to easily pin him. Referee Billy Silverman scores the fall.... CROWD ONE But Von Helldorf escapes the pin, emitting an animalistic cry of defiance as he does so. He quickly springs to his feet, where his hands snake through Alix's brunette locks. Despite encountering stiff resistance from his foe, he's able to slam her backwards, and drive her into the canvas, drawing an innumerable amount of heated boos from the fans. Perturbed with Alix's rough treatment, Krista screams, “Gehen Sie zum Hölle Arschloch!” towards SVH. Though stunned to hear his native tongue, the short haired German recovers quickly enough to spit, “Saugen Sie meinen Hahn, lesbisches Weibchen!” COLE I didn't know Krista spoke German. MONEYMAKER As a lesbian thought terrorist, she has to be fluent in many languages in order to force her message of Anti American Al-Qaieda jock sniffing hatred into the minds innocent young girls across the globe. COLE Mackenzie certainly didn't seem to mind when Krista forced her tongue down her throat at Anglemania! Grasping onto Alix's chocolate hair, Von Helldorf roughly hauls her upright, and situates her into a front facelock. The petite champion is slung into the air, then quickly dropped down with a snap suplex. No sooner then two seconds after she hits the canvas, does the foreigner raise her back up. He releases his shackles on her neck, and pumps two clubbing forearms into her bare back. The strikes hit with tremendous impact, and the fan favorite wilts beneath the strikes. She stumbles forward, but is kept in place when SVH attaches her into position for a front Russian leg sweep. He begins to glide her body forward, smirking devilishly at the thought of disfiguring her cute face on the canvas. But the despicable fantasy never comes to pass, as Ally rolls through the move, snaring Stefan into a crowd popping leg lock. Thanks to her substandard technical ability, Von Helldorf is able to effortlessly escape her clutches. Both competitors spring to their feet at the same moment, but it's Stefan who draws first blood, knocking the champion off her fuzzy footwear with a flipping dropkick. Supremely overconfident in that elementary move, Stefan pins Ally by placing his pinky finger onto her chest. Silverman scores the fall... EIN! ZWEI! (is this even how you count in German???) Alix kicks out, delighting the audience and aggravating the hunky European. He wages a heated debate over the count with Silverman, but given that the official speaks no English, it's a wasted effort. Thus Stef returns his attention to the duty of punishing Alix. He leads her off the mat, then sends her on a trip to the cables. Upon her return his hands coil around her waist and flap jack her into the sky. But she avoids splattering onto the mat, by landing squarely on her quirky footwear. But her success goes no further then that, as the chiseled grappler surges forward to spear her to the canvas! He hovers above her wounded body, eyes aflame with rage, lips turned into a self satisfied snarl. Then he directs his massive anger onto her face, pulverizing it with a downpour of punches. Silverman spots the deplorable usage of closed fists, and demands Stefan cease his assault. Though he's unable to comprehend the language, the tone registers clearly in his mind, and forces him to agree to the request. COACH Mister Moneymaker, lemme tell you just what a great honor it is to be sitting next to....royalty. That's what you are royalty. In a sodomite nation full of flag burning idolaters, you remain a loyal patriot and a brilliant businessman. MONEYMAKER The honor extends both ways, Mister Coachman. I have always held great respect for the American negro. You all never went communist. You had Jesus, and that was all you needed. I respect that. COACH Us black folk love us some Jesus! Shoe shine for ya master? The Hollywood Bad Girl rises on her violation, but can do little more then that as SVH latches onto her arm and launches her towards the ringpost. The sex kitten evades a horrid collision with the turnbuckles by leaping onto the highest pad. As the “Granatwerfer”'s thick boots close the distance between them, she attempts to flatten him with a moonsault press. But Stefan has this strike well scouted, and combats it by springing upwards and slamming a dropkick into her midsection! Alix brutally crashes into the canvas, where she trembles from the painful sensations that grip her body. “LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!” the audience chants, fearful that their about to be thrown into the world where maniac Germans lay claim to the prestigious tag titles. Having been exposed as a self centered fellow, it should come as no surprise to note that SVH would be more then thrilled to win the tag titles on his lonsesome. However, he suffers a rare bout of charity and goodwill, and decides to allow the boyishly attractive Heydrich into the affair. Lukas picks up right where his comrade left off, lifting Alix up by her star spangled bikini top, and slashing a series of knife edge chops into the red, white and blue fabric. His arm then snakes around her head into front facelock, and she's lifted into a vertical suplex. But Lukas' hold on the culinary sensation is much too weak to be of any use, and Ally exposes this failing by shifting her body so that it falls behind the German. On her descent, she coils her arm across his neck, and punishes his back with an inverted DDT! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” New Orleans cheers, while Heydrich shrieks in misery. Lukas upheaves his decrepit body off the mat, but instantly finds himself back on his kiester, courtesy of an arm drag by The Hollywood Bad Girl. Alix agilely cartwheels through the move, landing in front her prone enemy. But she doesn't stay grounded for very long; she heads into the sky and disfigures his handsome face with a basement dropkick. In celebration of her minor victory, Alix flashes back to her days as alternate co-captain of the cheerleading squad to sing, “Kick him in the BUTT, bop him in the nose, Alix rules and Lukas blows!” The cheer brings forth a classy round of “HEYDRICH SUCKS HEYDICK! HEYDRICH SUCKS HEYDICK!” chants COLE One can only dream! Understanding enough English to realize his manhood is being called into question, the enraged playboy quickly rises to his feet. Unable to punish the fans' for their verbal transgressions, he's forced to settle for punishing their adored covergirl with a full nelson. The second that the hold is fully cinched in, Von Helldorf reintroduces himself into the fray, darting towards Ally Cat with a lariat. But Alix breaks free of Lukas' weak grip, and SVH's weapon lacerates his comrade, shattering him into a useless heap of flesh and bones. Distraught with his failure, Stefan doesn't even think to defend himself from the spinning back Alix jams into his chiseled abdomen. Watching Stefan be manhandled by a woman less then half his size provokes Heydrich to aside his pain in order to assist his associate. Unfortunately for him, the situation grows far worse when he watches Krista Isadora Duncan dart towards the donnybrook. As Krissy nears, Alix takes hold of the blond bombshell's legs and deploys her like a nuclear missile towards the distressed Germans. The female warhead explodes across their landscape with a double lariat, toppling them to the canvas, and forcing them to beat a hasty retreat to the outside. The American fans are less then gracious towards their retreating presence, and berate them with a variety of slurs as they struggle to regain their breath and sanity. Before Krista can celebrate her besting of the challengers, the palm of Alix's hand dances across the leather clad cheeks of her curvaceous tush . With pink lips grinning in playfully glee, Alix smacks the U the S and the A on Krista's bell bottoms, each strike jiggling the sumptuous flesh that rest grandly upon her gorgeous legs. The audience quickly derives the flimsily (yet patriotic) excuse Ally uses to justify her desire to fondle Krista's hard ass, and chants... “U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!” Not exactly thrilled at the concept of having her rear end used as the catalyst to rally the land of the free, Krista, with cheeks on her face as red as the cheeks on her BUTT, bellows, “Quit hitting me, damn it!” Alix much prefers Krista in the role of silent big bootied bongo drums, then to her current position as opinionated, uptight, sense of personal-space having, kill joy. Thus she returns Krista to the previous duty of human missile, and whips her to the ring ropes closest to their recuperating challengers. Using her dancer's agility, the fitness queen tumbles over the top rope and into the stunned Euros with a breath taking swanton bomb! Taken totally by surprise, Heydrich is capsized to the outside mats, his vision clouded by the attacking mixture of tanned skin, rhinestones, and blond hair. Von Helldorf, through sheer luck alone, managed to evade the terrible collision that's decimated his ally. However, his luck soon runs out when Alix dives through the ring ropes, catches onto his neck, and terrorizes him with the second Sucker Free DDT of the contest! SVH slowly crumples to his side, his mouth emitting throat tearing screams of pain. YEAAAAAAH! Holler the audience members, on their feet after the showing of aerial talent. COLE Fight fans we've gotta take a break, we'll be back with more HeldDOWN! COMMERCIAL BREAK When we return to the contest, Heydrich has calmed the proceedings by tightening Krista into a side headlock. Lukas isn't able to contain Krissy for very long, however, and she shoves him into the ring ropes. Upon his return he uses his extended shoulder to steamroll her into the canvas. He then darts towards the ropes, seeking to plant an elbow onto her face when he returns. But as he nears the vicious vixen, she rolls towards him, attempting to trip him over. But the Berlin native has enough ring awareness to leap over her and continue his journey towards the ropes. Unfortunately, Krista greets his latest return with a spinning wheel kick. While Stefan chews his partner out for his ineffectiveness, Krissy plays to her own beauty, tossing and fluffing her gorgeous golden locks as though she were in the middle of a Vidal Sassoon commercial. “K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!” The onlookers shout. Even with a bruised face, Heydrich is able to move upright under his own power. But Miss California quickly seizes control of him, grasping onto his thick brown hair and leading him towards a vacant corner. When the pair arrives at their destination, she smashes her foe's face into the steel turnbuckles. The attack shoots tremors of pain throughout his body, and he staggers backwards, nursing his wounded visage. As suffers through the scorching duress, the Hollywood covergirl clambers atop the second rope. Before her aerial assault can do harm to his physical welfare, her caustic words do irreparable damage to his fragile ego, “Heydrich? More like HEYDORK! am i rite wrestling pals?” For whatever reason Krissy's immature comment uncages a tidal wave of outrage in Lukas' heart, and Germany's pride and joy darts towards his bothersome adversary to obliterate her with a lariat. “I can't believe that really worked!” She muses, before tossing herself off the turnbuckle and gashing her foe with a missile dropkick. The fitness queen quickly follows her strike with a pinfall that's counted by Silverman and crowd alike CROWD ONE CROWD TWO But Lukas keeps his, and Moneymaker's hopes alive, by pushing out of the pin. MONEYMAKER I see that Katrina took away more then these people's homes, it also took away their brains! Who would be stupid enough to believe you can get a pin off a dropkick? Or with their menial middle school education are they just happy to be able to count to three? One, two, three! Look Mommy I'm not so stupid! Both competitors head upright at the same moment. Despite enduring the past several offensive volleys Heydrich acts first, deploying a pair of knee strikes into Krista's sculpted abs. With the champion momentarily dazed, Heydrich uses her slinky top as a leash to lead her into his corner, where he applies the tag with Stefan Von Helldorf. MONEYMAKER Now that my boys are totally in control of this thing, I just want to tell you both, that I don't really appreciate the way you portray me as an old money fuddy duddy. I'm no stranger or Johnny come latley to Bohemia. Did you know that during my internship at Charles Schwab in New York I rented an apartment in Manhattan, bellow 57th street! COLE Watch out Ginsberg! Problematically for Die Todeshandller, Krista wrecks their hard won momentum by trapping SVH into an arm wringer. Agonized by the sudden sting in his limb, Von Helldorf moves to rid himself of her troublesome hooks. He uses his raw power to bulldoze her across the squared circle, but his efforts yield nothing in the way of freedom. Thus he backs her body into the ropes, in hopes of freeing himself with an Irish whip. But not only does the femme fatale retain her grip, she also springs into the sky, in order to snap his shoulder from it's socket with a tornado single arm ddt! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” the fans chant, their voices competing for real estate with the bellowing of the aggrieved foreigner. Drawn into the ring by his partners tortured howls, Heydrich lobs roaring elbow strike towards the champion. But she staves off his crazed attempt by flashing a superkick. The Berlin native screeches his charge to an abrupt halt, and uses his free arm to catch her New Balance tennis shoe. He gives her a sudden 180 twirl, believing he'll be able to decimate her with a back breaker. Yet, Miss California moves much to quickly for her methodical foe, and she scrambles his brains with a gorgeous enziguri! As the capacity crowd bleats her name, Krissy responds to their love by paroding Sally Field's Oscar Acceptance Speech, “You like me! You really like me!” She proclaims, faux tears streaming down her cheeks, running her blood red makeup. MONEYMAKER I can tell you who doesn't like Krista! Miss Jade Rodez. And she never did! Many a nights have I spent with young Jade, lending a sympathetic ear to the tales of how Krista would try and convert to her cult of hedonistic godless savagery. Why had I not intervened when I did, we might see poor Jade, sitting hand in hand with Krista on the California Gay and Lesbian Rodeo Association float at the Los Angeles pride parade. Fully annoyed with Krissy's comedic antics, Stefan Von Helldorf silences her with a running bulldogging. Not wishing to lose her previous momentum, Krista promptly scrambles upright. Problematically, she finds herself under assault from a bevy of knife edge chops that explode across her busty chest. The ceaseless torrent of strikes push Krissy dangerously close to Die Todeshandler's corner. But before Stefan can fully trap her within his corner, Krista ends his round of chops by smashing a basement dropkick into his knee. The strike sends the cussing and grousing warrior hobbling away in misery. “U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!” the audience chants. COACH How dare they chant USA when the only true American here is sitting beside me. Mister Moneymaker, any truth to the rumor the federal reserve is thinking of reinstituting the two dollar bill and putting your face on the front? Gnashing his teeth, and nursing his knee, Von Helldorf returns his gaze to Krista, just in time to see her darting across the ring towards his location. The foreign heartbreaker's reflexes are up to the challenge of besting Krissy, as he effortlessly snatches Krista off the ground and bulldozes into a neutral corner . Krista is jammed against the turnbuckles, where she desperately tries to regain her rapidly depleting breath. But SVH keeps his attack steady like a metronome, and launches her towards the opposite corner with an irish whip. Krissy smacks against the pads, then staggers towards the center of the ring, the salty combination of sweat and tears in her blue eyes eyes making it impossible to see more then a few inches in front of her face. So it comes as a tremendous surprise when Stef upends her with a back body drop. The physical shock of the move is horrendous and she rests on the mat spasming in pain. Sadly, her worries expand tenfold, as Von Helldorf grabs onto her right leg, then slowly and methodically, begins to twist the whimpering champion into a single leg crab. COACH A submission hold! The first one of the match! Krista immediately exerts a mighty effort to free herself from the vice grip, but it's to no avail. The German leans backwards, burdening the fitness queen with a scourge of pressure, and taking a sadistic pleasure in each one of her terrified screams. As salty tears clog her vision, Krista extends her hands towards the ring cables. But their salivation is maddeningly far away, and the distance only grows larger with each passing second. Ever ready to take up the support of their girl, the spectators chant, “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” “Reichen Sie ein!” Stefan bellows, past clenched teeth. Von Helldorf roots his onyx colored boots into the canvas, making Krista's trek towards the ropes a monstrous ordeal. However, Krista perseveres through the obstacles, and expends every ounce of physical strength to reach those ropes. Despite his staunch resistance to her efforts, German finds himself on slow journey towards the cables. To counteract her rebellion, he savagely increases the pressure on his hold. But even with the unholy amount of screaming and wailing that spews from her body, her determined path refuses to be halted. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” “Geben Sile oben lesbische anschaffen!” He howls, voice stained by bloody rage. The gap between Krista's trembling hand and the orange ring ropes narrows to a mere two feet, a fact that propels beads of sweat from the brow of the nervous Von Helldorf. MONEYMAKER Ring the bell! Ring the bell! I'm only concerned about her safety, her back could be broken, her legs could be sore. I just want her to be safe. Eight inches is all that remains of the space that separates Krista from her orange saviors. The audience, sensing how close Krissy is to freedom, rise to their feet and increase the volume of their boisterous chants, “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Realizing that his precious submission hold is gasping it's last breathes, Von Helldorf seeks to delay the inevitable escape. With a deep throated cry, he jerks forward with all his might and yanks Krista several inches away from her salvation. The sight of their heroine being dragged back into the jaws of defeat, causes the rancorous crowd to bath the arena in jeers and boos. Krista, besieged by a mixture of anguish and frustration, emits a strangled noise of pain, and passionately pleads for assistance. MONEYMAKER At this point in time feel free to praise me as the smartest men in all of athletics. Unlike the oaoast brass who think it's cool and fun to fill up your tag roster with stripping doctors, fake rockstars, and brainless hillbillies, I go out and I find the best in the world to compete on the best show in the world. As Theodore preemptively gloats of his “superior” scouting skills, Alix answers Krista's cries for aid; She soars over the ropes, with tan legs aimed directly at Stef's head. Within seconds her boots gruesomely impact upon the skull of SVH, violently detaching the grappler from his victim. While SVH grumbles over his mistreatment, the audience loudly cheers Ally Cat's actions. However, Silverman draws no delight from them, and chastities Alix for coming to her girlfriend's rescue. The Hollywood Bad Girl is in little mood to hear Silverman's rebuke, and offers him this stern warning, “In case ya didn't know, I'm kinda a really rich girl, and I can buy anything and everything I want. But what happens if I wanna buy, oh I dunno, the oaoast? And what if they really do sell it to me and whoo-hooo I'm the owner! First day on the job, good morning Owner Alix, that's a very pretty breifcase you have. Why, thank you my life partner gave it me! How nice of her! I know, she's such a sweetie! Now, what would you like to do on your first day on the job? Hmmmm, ya know what? I think I would like to fire my good friend......Billy Silverman. Comprende, chico?” Comprende indeed, as Billy Silverman backs down to a threat that Alix had zero intention of following. Unfortunately for COD and their fans, The Germans have utilized the moment of distraction to blindly tag Lukas Heydrich into the affair. Grabbing Krissy's arm, Heyridch hurls her into a vacant corner. He advances towards the corner, where he uses a European Uppercut to rake her bronze skin. Ever the defiant one, Krista gives as good as she gets, ripping into her rival's physique with searing knife edge chops. Heydrich has the strength advantage however, and he puts it to good use, by subduing Krista with one mighty spinning back fist. The tremendous attack sinks Kris to the canvas, and the Ringkämpfer pounces on top of her, his leather boots zooming towards her throat! With an explosive movement, the sex kitten rotates her body to the right, narrowly avoiding Lukas' bullet. But before she can regain her footing the German stud muffin leaps upon her once more, grabbing her golden locks and pulling her upright. He leaves the exhausted woman in the corner, and journeys towards the center of the ring to build up speed for a running avalanche. But when he nears KID, he finds that she's not nearly as injured as he believed when she pulverizes his nose with a back elbow! COLE Heydrich wasn't expecting that! MONEYMAKER Lukas Heydrich is actually the more inexperienced of the two ring warriors, but let me tell ya, the kid his unlimited energy, and unlimited potential. He reminds me of a young Ned Blanchard, and if he can turn into half the wrestler my good friend Ned is, then he'll dominate pro wrestling on every continent! The beleaguered rookie staggers away from the corner, wishing to establish distance from his suddenly resurrgent foe. It's a wish that goes unfulfilled, as Krissy violently shoves him into the post. She ascends to the second rope, using her body as a barricade to block his escape. She then engages in a round of taunting, playing up to her status as fitness royalty by flexing her impressive (BUT NOT MASCULINE111!@@1122!!) muscles to the joy of the audience. Once the showboating is complete, she pumps a series of fists into the helpless warrior's face, the sound of the audience counting along engulfing his bawls of despair. “ONE” “TWO” “THREE” Shortly after the three, Heydrich summons enough strength to heave Krista and her groovy bell bottom pants to the ring apron. But thanks to her awesome agility, she lands squarely on her tennis shoes. However, there's little time for celebration, as Lukas attempts to blast her into the barricade with a running forearm. She tries to counter the onslaught by simply batting him down with a swat of her hand. But Heydrich avoids her effort by sliding between the gap in her legs, and carrying his muscular frame to the outside. His quickly fingers snake around the waist of her tights, as he furiously attempts to power bomb her into oblivion. The concentrated effort draws a large pop from the audience, not because they've suddenly converted to German nationals, but because Heydrich tugs Krista's tights down just enough to grant a titillating glimpse of her thong-th-th-thong. While the crowd may be delighting in erotic glee, Alix is of the been there done that frame of mind, and devotes her attention to rescuing her partner. She leaps off the apron, and darts towards Heydrich. Unaware of her fast approaching presence, he's taken by surprise, as she shoves him away from Krista! “YEAAAAAAAH!” MONEYMAKER Silverman, you low class degenerate, do your duty! Having heard Moneymaker's crudely stated demands, Silverman leans through the ropes to chide Alix for her tactics. But once again, Allly interrupts him with tales of an Alix owned OAOAST, “Good morning Miss Spezia, oh my those are lovely earrings you have on. Aren't they, though, they're from my girlfriend. Wow, I wish my sweetie would give me nice things. That's what would you get for dating someone with a Y Chromosome! Ma'am, the payroll department says we're spending too much on staff, any ideas for layoffs? Layoffs, layoffs, layoffs, hmm...how about my good friend.....Billy Silverman. Comprende, chico?” Comprende once more, chica! Not only are his lips sealed to Alix's infraction, but he also permits her to enter the contest without ever making an official tag. As Lukas is currently incapacitated, Stefan is required to enter the ring for his team, a ruling that does not sit well with surly Euro. Pushing aside his misgivings, the ex-hockey star charges Ally, looking to take her by surprise with a face crusher. However his attempts meets with failure; the second he nears the culinary sensation, she shifts her body around to capture him with a crowd popping side effect! She hooks his leg for a pin that's scored by Silverman.... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! But Von Helldorf shoots his shoulder off the mat well before the three count. MONEYMAKER In the ring we've got two people who don't speak a lick of English. Von Helldorf speaks German, and Alix speaks braindead white trash. No, I take that back, she's worse then white trash. She's white toxic waste. No, wait, her father is an illegal immigrant who's spent a quarter of his life in jail. She's half-white toxic waste. Stefan rips his sore carcass off the canvas and instantly puts himself on the attack by Irish whipping Ally towards a vacant corner. Her back brutally crashes into the ringpost, drawing out soft gurgles of pain from her throat. SVH eyes her whimpering figure, and sniffs the scent of the blood filling the water. He darts towards the helpless girl, preparing to devour her with a corner splash. But Alix gathers the requisite energy to dive onto the ring apron, leaving Stefan's sculpted chest to shatter on the turnbuckles. He curses in a combination of anger and torment, as he staggers back to the center of the ring. Alix affords him no time to recuperate as her spring boarding body unfurls in front of him with a shooting star press. She strikes him like red, white and blue lightening, spearing him right through the chest, and driving him to the canvas. MONEYMAKER I have full faith in my investment, but any tag team that loses to Chicks Over Dicks should hang up the boots and retire. COLE You and Wright just lost to them at Anglemania, and once before that at Mainframe Monday! MONEYMAKER Yes....well.....at least I've been in the ring, whereas the most athletic thing you've ever done is be the towel boy of an all male cheerleading squad. Though Alix would love to attempt another pin on SVH, her concern moves towards Heydrich, who is fast approaching with a deadly shoulder black. Thankfully, Alix brings down the advancing beast, by slashing a dropsault into his face! ”ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” Von Helldorf lunges for the recipient of the fans' love. But the sex kitten runs beneath his flailing claws and leaps atop the third rope. SVH whirls to face her, readying his arm to shove her off her perch and to the mats bellow. Yet, The German's efforts provide no match for Ally's speed, and he's overpowered by her springboard dropkick! The audience emits a raucous cheer for Ally's show of dominance. However their moment of joy soon degenerates into a lifetime of misery, when a recovered Heydrich lacerates her exposed back with diving lariat! “HEYDRICH SUCKS HEYDICK! HEYDRICH SUCKS HEYDICK!” belts the crowd, obviously not realizing that chanting that phrase two times is chanting it two times too many. Ignoring (and not actually understanding) the bile spewed forth from the stands, Lukas drags his comrade's limp frame towards their corner, in order to apply an official tag. MONEYMAKER Look at that! He saw Von Helldorf in trouble, and he made moves to put himself, the fresher man, back into the contest. This is only his tenth professional match, imagine him only six months down the line. He'll be an unstoppable force. Upon rentering the title bout, Heydrich angrily tries to side swipe Alix with a high knee lift. Ally whirls away from this attack, and puts herself behind his lean frame. She furiously horsewhips a series of kicks into his legs, hoping to cut the fearsome challenger down to her level. Unfortunately her kicks register little more then an annoyed grunt from Lukas. With a great cry of malice, Heydrich spins around to deliver a bombardment of right and left hooks to her bare midsection. Her body rocks against the explosive force, not stopping until he ceases his reprehensible battering. As she's left dazed by his brutalization, Lukas has little trouble tightening her into a rear waistlock. He leans back and hoists her up, trying to shatter her neck with German Suplex. But the agile babe delights the worried fans by flipping out of his suplex. Though she lands safely on her fuzzy footwear, the worried expression on her face, shows she's not in clear quite yet. MONEYMAKER Hollywood “it” Girls? Psh! Who hired these tramps? Why are they even here? You couldn't spring Paris out of jail or pull Lindsay away from the crack pipe? I guarantee that although Alix and Krista may have millions of fans in this country alone, the combined income of those people couldn't pay for half of the Lobster I ate for dinner last night! Ally tears towards the ropes, soaring into the air upon returning to the now standing Heydrich. She arcs forward, and slashes his face with the heel of her fancy boot. Agony riddles his ringing skull, and he slowly topples backwards only seconds before The Hollywood Bad Girl darts towards the next set of ropes. She elevates to the top cable, and uses it as a launching pad to project her lionsaulting body at her floored rival. But The German wisely rolls away from his descending opponent. To the audience's and Krista's relief, Alix avoids a catastrophic crash into the mats, by making an off-balance landing on her feet. She teeters backwards, and has to make an effort to get her wobbly frame under control. Problematically, Heydrich is pursuing her like a rabid hell hound. He flattens her with a polish hammer that brings froth gasps of despair from the alarmed spectators. Lukas then drapes his arm across her heaving chest for his team's first pinfall since the opening minutes of the contest. EIN! ZWEI! But Krista breaks up the pivotal fall with an elbow drop, causing cheers to pour down from the rafters, and insults to stream from the mouth of Von Hellldorf. Leaving his partner to complain about the injustice, Lukas grabs hold of Alix's star spangled bikini top, and leads her upright. His arms snap around her waist, the squeeze hurting worse then even barbwire. The expression of pain on her face shortly gives way to the look of horror as he tries to raise her for a pile driver. The bubbly brunette fights for dear life. Sweaty and out of breath, she wildly kicks her legs, managing to set them back down to the mat. But her freedom is short lived, as Lukas, cheeks flush in angered red, merely tightens his hold and successfully lifts her onto his broad shoulders. The Hollywood Bad Girl isn't ready to concede defeat to the foreigner and laces her smooth legs around his neck, preparing to stage a reversal. COACH The curtain is about to comedown on COD's title reign, just like Mister Moneymaker predicated! Let me be the first to thank you for providing us with tag team champions that wrestle with honor. After a frantic struggle with her foe, Ally succeeds in peeling backwards to flip Lukas head over heels with a crowd popping hurricanrana! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” Thrilled with her girlfriend's showing, the usually depressive Krista can't help but perform a cute little cheer of her own, “ONE, TWO THREE, FOUR, ALIX IS OUR FAVORITE.....uh, the only words I can think of to rhyme with four are door and whore. Door is a obvious inaccuracy and whore is an obvious accuracy, I would just prefer not to be the one to say it.” Alix understands she won't succeed in pinning Lukas with any sort of roll up , thus she stands up before Silverman can count a pin. However, there's no reprieve for Lukas as she attempts to crush his fetching face into mush with a double stomp! Just like her body, her rising spirits plummet downwards, when the challenger slides his face out of the collision course. He hops upright, and drives a thudding haymaker into the side of her skull. Her dizzied head lolls to a side, and her vision swirls into a chaotic blur. Heydrich uses her moment of nausea and confusion to make a quick tag with partner in crime, Stefan Von Helldorf. “LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX! LETS GO ALIX!”the fans screaming, ignoring SVH's arrival into the title bout. MONEYMAKER I always knew the entire south, except for my home state of Florida, was populated by ignoramuses, idiots, inbreds, and sub human trailer trash. Of course they'll cheer for Alix, she's one of them! Did you know she won Miss Monterey Pass Trailer Park as a child? Her illegal immigrant father and town whore of a mother actually entered her in a contest that celebrated the dilapidated shit hole they wallowed in! COLE I think that's cute! MONEYMAKER Of course you do, you probably did her hair and makeup you fruity bastard! Stefan's black eyes shoot a dirty glare towards chanting audience, before he attaches the target of their love into a front facelock. Her aching bones writhe frantically against her jailer. But this valiant escape effort does nothing but waste her precious energy, and SVH easily lifts her skyward, suspending her like she's in a diabolical torture device. “Leck mich am Arsch!” Stefan blusters in stout bravado, as he forces the blood to rush towards Ally's head. Alix braces for the painful attack she knows is forthcoming. Yet no amount of preparation could steel her for the searing pain she encounters as Stefan sinks to the mat, stabbing her neck into the canvas with a brain buster. He floats over and lays his hand across her collarbone for a pin... EINS! ZWEI! But Alix escapes the fall, whipping the onlookers into a frenzy, and causing Von Helldorf a massive amount of acrimony The pompous grappler rises, and a vile chuckle surges through his lips while he pulls her upright. He hurls her to ropes, where she uses what's left off her depleted strength to scale to the top cable and gracefully rip towards him with a lionsault! But SVH catches her legs in a wheelbarrow type position at the finale of her descent. On the ring apron, panic grips Krista's visage as she realizes what terrible activity is soon to transpire. Ally's terror stricken eyes meet her's, leading the distressed woman to try and enter the ring to save her partner. But Silverman holds Krista back, providing SVH with the distraction he needs to unleash a destructive hellstorm upon Alix. Ally strains to escape with all her might, working herself into a lather of sweat and tears, but there's not a damn thing she can do to save herself from the chortling German. Von Helldorf lifts her up like he's going for the wheelbarrow suplex, then dangles her over the ropes, so that Lukas may glide across the apron, and pulverize her face with a running knee lift! This savage attack hurls Ally's body upright, permitting SVH the chance to destroy her with the teased wheelbarrow suplex. Alix slams into the canvas with a brutal thud, and her hoarse screams join Krista's own raspy cries of sorrow. Von Helldorf attempts a crucial pinfall... EINS! ZWEI! But Krista destroys the pinfall with a springboard missile dropkick, popping the pro-COD crowd! Heydrich is less then enthused by her meddling, and enters the ring to get a piece of the pesky blond bombshell. But Krissy ducks underneath the ropes, and returns to the apron, before her nettled rival can lay a finger on her. While Silverman orders the annoyed European back to his corner, Krissy mockingly sticks out her tongue at him, which does nothing to improve his ill-mannered disposition. MONEYMAKER Krista has again exposed herself as a heartless wench! If she truly cared about Alix's welfare, as she routinely professes, she would've let the pin stand to end the match. Now poor little Alix has to continue to get beat for another solid ten minutes. Furious over the meddling, SVH unleashes a plethora of German flavored profanities towards Billy Silverman. Once his vulgar tirade concludes, a breathless Stefan hikes Alix up by her old glory booty shorts.. He ravels her into a front facelock, then slings her left arm across his right shoulder. From there he assumes control of her left leg, putting her in a position that makes escape seem all but impossible. A savage smile registers on the sharp features of the warrior as he moves her upside down in front of his body. Muscles bulging and veins sprouting across his skin, he zips forward to nail her with a running cradle brainbuster Unfortunately for him, Alix quickly shifts her greasy body in front of his face, engulfing the entirety of his vision with her baby oil soaked skin. Her arm wraps around his head and shortly thereafter the pairing timbers backwards thanks to Alix's sleek DDT reversal! SVH's noggin skips off the canvas with a thud, pleasing music to the cheering crowd who are grateful for Ally's timely counter. The audience is keenly aware that if COD has any hope of fulfilling their title retention dreams, then Alix must reach Krista. As such their chants of “ALIX! ALIX!” bleat louder then ever before. With the gruff authority trademark to the German race, Heydrich orders silence from the spectators. But his demands are soundly refuted by the blaring racket of 18,000 people chanting in unison. COLE Come on Alix! MONEYMAKER Come on Alix? Where is the objectivity from our broadcast journalists? COLE Objective? You're the one who's out here, going, oh, Alix crawled out of trailer park gutter, and Krista is a cold hearted demon, and I hate gays, and I hate lesbians, and I love Germans, and I hate anyone who isn't a white protestant male. Shouldn't you be somewhere planning the Knight of Long Knives? Standing atop the bottom rope, Krissy frantically beats on the turnbuckle, trying to mobilize her fallen gal-pal. Soon the entire crowd joins in, stamping their feet in unison, sending encouraging noises to Ally's frayed spirit. Drawing on their heartwarming show of support, Alix, face steeled with gritty determination, digs her nails into the canvas and claws her way to the corner. “Aufstehen!” Heydrich barks to his downed associate. Obeying the order, the “Granatwerfer” stirs, birthing concerned gasps from the crowd. Unwilling to afford Alix a moment to apply to the sought after tag, he locks his hand around her ankle, trying his damnedest to hold her in place. Despite his hellish lockdown, Krissy's heartfelt encouragement sparks Alix to fight past the cutthroat bully. With one titanic lunge, she surges forward make a hot tag to her partner! “YEAAAAA!” MONEYMAKER Why must the heavens frown on me? The New Orleans audience is risen to a state of heavenly euphoria as Miss California leaps over the ring ropes and into the contest. Fervent bootsteps are head scraping across the ring, as Lukas Heydrich renters the fracas, ignorning Silverman's many objections. Eyes mad with fury, Lukas boils towards Krissy in order to derail the COD train before it can leave the station. Yet things play out slightly differently in the ring then they have in Lukas' mind. His screams explode outward as Krissy knocks the youthful superstar off his feet with a gorgeous shinning wizard! Grunting and wailing, Lukas slowly rolls to the edge of the ring, where he nurses his busted face. COLE Your friend Krista is tearing it up! MONEYMAKER I want to murder you! The only way she'd ever be my friend is if she was a mute invalid, but still retained her current appearance. COLE Awww you think she's cute! So did Mackenzie if I remember. You two can start a Krista fan club. I wounder if Mackie is the type to kiss and tell. Hissing with devilish intent, SVH reinserts himself into the proceedings. He lunges at Miss California with a scissors kick. But Krissy parries his thrust, and returns fire with a whirling back kick. Her tennis shoe slams into him like a bullet train, capsizing him to the canvas, to the delight of the thousands in attendance. Unfortunately for Krista, no sooner then she eliminates SVH does his comrade in arms return to defend his honor. An all consuming wrath possess him as he readies his foot to shatter Krista's nose like the Berlin Wall. But Krista puts a halt to Heydrich's assault, by pulling a unique picture out of her bell bottom pockets.... HEYDRICH KRISTA Germans love David Hasselhoff! MONEYAMKER Is it too late to get my money back? While the fiery rage of Lukas may have been extingushed by the former Baywatch hunk, Stefan is anything but subdued, and hammers this point by home by surprising Krissy with a school boy! EIN! ZWEI! The SoCal hottie defiantly kicks out, leaving an annoyed Stefan to direct a menacing glare towards Silverman. Krista exerts a great deal of energy by standing up on her own power. Von Helldorf, instantly pounces on her, Irish whipping her towards the cables. Not wishing to grant her any second to catch her breath, SVH trails her journey. But the agile fitness queen combats his attack by jumping onto the third rope and flying back at him with a splendid lionsault press! He clumsily attempts to slide out of the way, but simply “succeeds” in moving himself into the line of fire for an inverted face lock that Krista easily morphs into an Inverted DDT! ”K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!” MONEYMAKER Argh! Somebody bring me a bucket I need to throw up. No forget it, no time, I'll just use Cole's twenty dollar Salvation Army suit. Did you check that thing for maggots and mites before you lifted it out the dumpster? Hardening himself against the mounting anguish, Von Helldorf retries his ill luck with Miss California, attempting to sneak attack her with an elbow smash. But thanks to a cry of “watch the fuck out, bitch” from an old Asian woman in the first row, the Hollywood covergirl is able to block SVH's blow with a back handed pimp slap! The unusual strike prompts an exclamation of “Pimps up! Hoes down!” from the champion. Stefan teeters backwards, instinctively pawing at his sore cheekbone. This leaves him prey to a variety of attacks, and Krissy capitalizes on this fact, by leaping into his back, and putting her knees to her chest to pulverize him with a lung blower! Stefan's shouts are ones of bitter agony, but their soon pounded into oblivion by the cheers of the capacity crowd. Heydrich undertakes the mission of title victory from his fallen friend, and lobs a discus punch towards Miss California's lovely face. What the move packs in rage, it lacks in technique, form and most importantly speed, and Krista is easily able to duck bellow it and move behind . The momentum of his miss clumsily carries him forward, but he's soon tossed onto a downward trajectory as Krissy traps him into an inverted face lock, then punishes him with a roll the dice! A pin follows, and all of the big easy counts along... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! MONEYMAKER I will give every dollar in my trust fund to charity if Lukas Heydrich kicks out! CROWD THREE! At the last possible minute, Von Helldorf destroys the pinfall, infuriating the fanbase. COLE Looks like you have some donating to do, my friend! MONEYMAKER Hey, hey, hey, I said if he kicked out! The audience's dour mood begins to improve when Krista and a recovered Alix begin seizing on SVH with brutal stomps. He manages to rise to his feet past their torrent of kicks, but this only puts him in a far worse situation as the covergirls launch him into the corner. He smacks against the posts with a booming thud, too worn down by the night's festivities to effort any sort of escape. Taking advantage of Stef's weakness, Alix charges in with a lariat. Needless to say a lariat from a bulimic woman doesn't exactly bring much hurt to SVH's world. But the pain quickly begins to mount when Krista follows Alix by slashing her bare knee into Bruiser's face! As a cut on his head begins to ooze gobs of blood, Ally lies on the mat, and Krista takes hold of her shapely legs. The blond bombshell dives backwards, lifting Alix into the air, and shooting her towards their rival. Von Helldorf tries to evade his approaching attacker. But the blood in his eyes causes him to misjudge her movement, and the speeding bullet rips into his stomach with a shoulder block! “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” There's nary a second for Krista to bask in the audience's love, however, as a hatred charged Heydrich is rappelling from the turnbuckles with a top rope axe handle smash! Krissy yelps in pain as his clenched fists tear through her face and skull. She tumbles backwards onto the mat, but quickly scrambles to her feet. Yet, by the time she's upright, Heydrich has already become preoccupied with the feisty Alix Spezia. His superkicking boot screams towards Ally's fact, but is blocked from it's destination when Alix traps it within her hands. Lukas hops to and fro, seeking to weaken his grip enough to facilitate an escape. Yet, these efforts go to waste, as Alix flings his body with 360 twirl. When the nauseated warrior returns to face her, her arm coils around his neck for the early stages of a diamond cutter. Heydrich recovers from his moment of disorientation just in time to shove his assailant away. The plunging girl careens forward, her arms falling out in a helpless effort to brace herself for impact. Fortunately, Krista is right on top of her, grabbing her klutzy figure before it can it the floor. Bodies squeezed together, they look like a pair of beautiful dancers caught frozen in the midst of a graceful dip. Of course Alix's x-rated mind thinks this anything but genteel and says, “Hey, baby, If I said you had a nice body would you hold it against me?” The cheeky comment annoys the always sour Krista, and forces her to conclude that Alix would be better off in the hands of The Germans. Thus she releases the brunette from the safety of her hug and pushes her towards the mercy of Heydrich. Not feeling particularly merciful, Lukas mimics Alix's previous diamond cutter attempt. Unfortunately, he's greeted by a similar failure as she, as Ally disposes of him with a rough shove. BLAM! Lukas slams directly into the chest of Von Helldorf, right as his countryman was preparing to return to action. Stef screams furiously as the tremendous impact of the crash launches him through the ring ropes. The tumbling wrestler plummets through the air, finally slamming to a stop a few inches away from the steel barricade. Horrific pain paints his weeping face, as the front row audience bestows him little sympathy, attacking him with every jeer and taunt in their vulgar heads. “C-O-D! C-O-D!” chant those fans not concerned with insulting Stefan. The blood drains from Lukas' face as the realization of his error's severity settles into his mind. His lips flap, and his throat croaks, but there are no words in any language to express the incredible remorse he feels for his gaffe. Unable to convey his sorrow through words, Lukas can only express his sizable rage through actions. Eyes blazing hatred, he takes several quick bounds to Alix, wielding a lariat like a scimitar. But The Hollywood Bad Girl rolls across the ring floor, eluding his questing blade. Thus the rampaging monster simply throws himself towards Miss California. He tries to drive his beefy arm towards her throat, but the sex kitten catches it just in time to spike it across her knee! His arm sizzles and smokes with agony, and he scrambles backwards to steer clear of Krissy. However her hands coil around his screeching face, rooting him firmly in her control. She then plummets their bodies downwards, and smashes him into the canvas with her finisher, Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one!” (Reverse X-Factor)! The fans shriek with glee, and their voices grow louder when Krista hooks the leg for a pinfall. Alix sits atop the third rope, counting along with cheery voice and fingers pointed towards the sky, as Silverman administers the crucial count. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! MONEYMAKER Why god? Why must I suffer so? CROWD THREE! BUFFER The winners and still OAOAST world tag team champions.....CHICKS OVER DICKS! As it has for so many matches over the past month, Gilfriend fills the arena as the celebratory victory song. The euphoric Louisiana natives exchange high fives, and toss thundering cheers into the air, in joy for their favorite tag team's success. COLE Another tag title defense another dollar wasted for you, Theodore. Silverman floats above the mangled flesh of Lukas Heydrich, his every question devoted to determining the health of the beaten grappler. Stefan, only vaguely aware of their failure, staggers towards the ring like a drunken man, and when he gets to the side of the squared circle, he pulls his partner free from the battleground. Only when he has the listless figure within his arms, does the insane reality of his team's botch settle in. MONEYMAKER I pay my taxes, sometimes, I go to church once a year, and I never vote democrat, so why must all the terrible things in this world happen to me? Why do I have to live a life of such miserable misfortune? When oh when will the fates smile on me? Theodore's mood is significantly depressed when he watches the champions, revel in their victory with an overjoyed embrace. Each girl keeps an arm tied around the other's neck, while their free hand foists their titles into the sky, showcasing the belts to their adoring fanbase. COLE Score one for freedom and liberty, Moneymaker. It looks like your bigotry suffers another defeat. MONEYMAKER Bigotry, huh? Let me...let me..give you a few words for the none to wise. A black person doesn't chose to be black they can't hide what they are. So if people discriminate against them, it's wrong...sometimes. COACH Sometimes? MONEYMAKER But say a child molester, or coke addict, very much like gays and lesbians, are abhorred by the majority They have a responsibility to seek help for their condition. If these lezzies and these queers refuse to seek help for their condition, which I'm told is done through electroshock therapy, then do we not have a duty to scoff and scorn at the flaunting of their despicable behavior? Only people like me, with courage and heart, can stand up to the obnoxious influence of these Anti-American left wing lesbian communists! My failure now seeming sweet to you, will soon to bitterest gall, because as long as there is a Theodore Moneymaker, there is one man who intends to stand up for American values and American beliefs. COLE So what you're saying is that you're gay? MONEYMAKER Yes....WHAT? NO! NO! HELL NO! I hate you, I hate Alix, I hate Krista, I hate Leon, I hate D*LUX, I hate this redneck, backwater, cesspool of a state and I will not stay here a moment longer! Skin flushed a beat red, the fuming Moneymaker rises from his cushion. He attempts to leave in a dignified manner, but his efforts are shot to hell as a collection of loose wires trip him to the floor! This of course brings many smiles to the faces of the audience and the champions, expressions that only heap salt on Theo's wounds “God damn it, somebody help me up!” Moneymaker yelps, pawing furiously at the floor as though he was crawling through the desert. COACH I'm coming sir! Like a dutiful lapdog The Coach rushes to the aid of the tycoon. Unfortunately the same cords that fell Moneymaker work their black magic on Coach, and he's goes toppling onto Theodore! He quickly tries to scurry off the grousing billionaire,but the wires wrap their tentacles around his body, locking him in place. Coach doesn't get the clue and continues his foolish efforts to dismount Moneymaker, which from almost every angle look amazingly like he's attempting anal sex. “GET OFF!” Moneymaker whines, barely heard over the uproarious laughter from the crowd and COD. “GET OFF! GET OFF ME YOU JACKASS!” COLE So wrong, so very wrong, but oh so funny! Fans we will see you next week from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Stay safe! GOODNIGHT! THIS HAS BEEN A PRESENTATION OF....

From New Orleans Arena in guess where? New Orleans, Louisiana! I bet you never would've figured that out. I will have some manner of tag title defense probably. don't call the main event or opening segment! EVER!! OR AT LEAST NOT TONIGHTTHTHT Also send everything to me

CUE: School's Out commercial Eerie music plays as "Reckless" Drek Stone is shown walking to the ring in slow motion, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt around his waist. NARRATOR He is the longest reigning World Heavyweight Champion in One And Only AngleSault Thread history. The screen turns to black. NARRATOR But you wouldn't notice. Cut to clips of Drek Stone beating "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican at World Without End, Tony Brannigan and Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix at New Year's Spectacular: Mainframe Monday, and Zack Malibu at AngleMania VI: Etched In Stone. Cut to Drek celebrating his victories. COLE Drek Stone has held the World Title for NINE months now, and yet has only defended the Title THREE TIMES! Cut to Zack Malibu walking to the ring in slow motion. Eerie music continues playing. NARRATOR And now, one man looks to put a stop to his reign. HIGH IMPACT ROCK MUZAK~! plays as clips of Zack and Drek's various confrontations are shown! COLE Zack and Drek are going at it! COACH Zack Malibu has had enough of Drek Stone! NARRATOR On May 27th, one man looks to restore pride and honor into the richest prize in the industry! Cut to Zack Malibu fighting various opponents and playing to the fans. NARRATOR (CONT'D) While the other looks to keep his success going for another month! Cut to "Reckless" Drek Stone fighting various opponents and being a prick to the fans. NARRATOR ZACK MALIBU Cut to Zack Malibu posing in a broken down warehouse with the words "ZACK MALIBU" appearing in big, black blocky letters. NARRATOR vs. "RECKLESS" DREK STONE Cut to "Reckless" Drek Stone posing in a broken down warehouse with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his hands with the words "DREK STONE" appearing in big, black blocky letters. NARRATOR In an AngleMania REMATCH! Cut to Drek Stone beating Zack Malibu at AngleSlam 2005 and AngleMania VI: Etched In Stone. NARRATOR Will Stone get his third victory? Cut to Zack Malibu raising the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt at AngleMania II and AngleMania III. NARRATOR Or will Malibu get his third title reign? Cut to more footage of Zack and Drek's numerous brawls while the generic rock music continues playing. COLE How personal can this get? COACH It's a war between these two! The OAOAST School's Out 2007 logo appears on screen with ordering information in big white blocky letters. The generic rock music continues playing. NARRATOR Publix Supermarket presents OAOAST School's Out! Sunday May 27th at 8:00 P.M. Eastern Standard Time/5:00 P.M. Pacific live only on pay-per-view! Call your local cable or satelite provider to order now! School's Out: Where One Legend Dies... Zack? Drek? ...And One Legend Is Reborn. Drek? Zack? The commercial ends there. The generic rock music also ends. Other commercials The (TV) screen goes black, and the following appears on the screen. The following announcement was paid for by World Domination Wrestling. Soft music accompanied by wind instruments plays, and a spotlight slowly raises over an all black wrestling ring with red ring ropes. (voiceover) In the beginning, the land was pure. Even in the early morning light, you could see the beauty in the forms of nature. Head shot of Alfdogg looking off into the distance. Soon men and women of every color... Shot of an Asian man doing martial arts poses in the shadows. And shape... Shot of an overweight tattooed man wearing colorful clothing. Would be here too. And they would find it all too easy sometimes not to see the colors... Shot of Chris Stevens smashing said tattooed man from behind with a mirror. ...and to ignore the beauty in each other. Shot of Alf delivering a beltshot to CWM. But they would never lose sight of the dream. Head shot of Stevens looking off into the distance. The bitter world that they could unite... Head shot of Axel staring off into the distance. And build together...in Triumph. As the last line is spoken, a camera shot from the ground is shown with a red tint, with Rick Heyross, Alfdogg, and Axel standing left to right and looking down into the camera smiling. The screen then fades into another announcement. World Domination Wrestling presents: WDW Triumph Coming Saturday, June 2 Can You Feel It?

FEMALE VOICE OVER OAOAST HeldDOWN is brought to you by.... Refreshingly smooth Bud Light, Always worth it. By McDonalds. I'm loving it! And by the all new Landrover LR2 Once the ads are taken care of we're transported backstage where oft-maligned interviewer Terry Taylor is residing within the plush confines of the expensively decorated oaoast interview area. With him are the insanely popular pairing of Alix Maria Spezia and Krista Isadora Duncan. Miss California sports a leopard print tube top that shags down to her high hip, and black mini skirt which gives way to white lace leggings. Alix maintains her beach babe image, by wearing a pink Hollister polo shirt which features fluttering screen printed seagulls, and a pair of white hip hugging jeans. TERRY TAYLOR Hello, everybody, hope you've enjoyed the great show so far. Terry Taylor backstage with America's Sweethearts, and OAOAST world tag team champions, Chicks Over Dicks. Girls you've had an incredibly successful April and May, retaining your tag titles against the likes of The Sooner Bruisers Martial Law, The Lightening Crew, and besting The Enterprise at Anglemania, and then eliminating five other tag teams on your way to winning your first battle royal. ALIX Awesome-awesome-awesome! TAYLOR But your good friend Jade Rodez has recently betrayed you for the company of your worst enemies, The Enterprise. ALIX Sucky-sucky-sucky! TAYLOR Now, Alix, this is a very serious issue... ALIX I said sucky-sucky-sucky, how much more serious can a girl get! Dude, we're totally bummed about Jade saying bye-by-bye to our team-team-team. She was such a fun chick! Like, maybe we never really told her that, but we just thought she knew, ya know. Like, we always thought she knew that we loved her to bits and pieces. I guess she really didn't, because if she did, there's no way she would've hooked up with The Enterprise. But ya know what? Whatever! It's her deal not mine. If Jade wants to say see-ya later to all the good times we had, then her loss, babe. 'Cause I got, like, a zillion and one friends! For really though, check my MyFaveFive, if you're disbelieving. Ally tosses Terry Taylor her T-Mobile phone. Taylor reacts with total shock at the colleciton of A-Listers Alix has in her contacts. TAYLOR Lindsay Lohan, Timberland, Nelly Furtado, wow, Alix, very impress....wait a second why does this sticker say property of Paris Hilton? ALIX Gimmie that! No more phone for you, buster! Krissy, tell Terry to quit being such a dick! KRISTA Sweetie, you're talking to a wall poster of Mel Gibson. ALIX Oh! Well, I guess I won't ask why you never took me to the Thunderdome. KRISTA For the same reason I can't take you any where that doesn't contain the words “revue” “all” or “nude”, because you're crude and classless. I submit exhibit A to the jury, the time I took you to the symphony and you stood on your chair and drunkenly demanded the cello player whip out the woodwind. ALIX Hey, I was talking about a Soprano flute, who knew he'd go au naturale and strum the skin flute? Whatever, back to Jade, I'd hate to make a genital based assumption, but she had everything a nineteen year old girl could dream of! Awesome friends, some money, and cute boys who'd do just about anything she wants. I just don't get why'd she wanna hop on the downbound train to loser town, population Enterprise! Did she actually know what kind of people they are? There's like something seriously wrong with those dudes and dudettes, and I don't just mean their unhealthy fandom of VH1's I love New York. KRISTA Don't knock her until you've tried her.....Don't look at me like that, Terry. I was on my tenth shot of Tequila and I needed a thick chocolate milkshake to chase it down. ALIX I don't know whether to or to But, anyway, I don't care if the Enterprise pees gold and poops Robin Thicke albums, wouldn't Jade rather chill with us, the most popular chicks on all nine, I still luv ya Pluto, planets? There is no one in this ginooooooormous galaxy who's more popular then we are! I mean, you could probably hop into Doctor Emmet Brown's DeLorean, head back in time, and you still wouldn't find anyone who's ever been as popular as me and Krissy! TAYLOR What about Abe Lincoln? ALIX As if! What did he ever do? Free the slaves? Uh, hello, he only freed the black ones! What a meanie! Such a comment causes Krista's face to go pale. KRISTA If you need me, I'll be at Sears pricing ropes to hang myself with. ALIX Hey, get some of this red bicycle reflectors to slap on your BUTT because we're gonna be cruising down the highway of loooove. For really real, Double T, people adore us! You could even put us a popularity contest with Jesus Christ and we'll win everyday of the week and twice on Christmas. On Christmas! That's that dude's birthday! We're serving him like Thanksgiving dinner on his own birthday. No respect! Cold as iceeeeeeee! I can hear people now if they had to chose between Jesus and us “Man, Jesus used to come real with it, but he fell off hard after the new testament.” “Look at that tired old fool, thinking this is still 630 BC, no one wants to hear his played out mess. He's been out the game for ten thousand years and he's still spitting those wack ten commandments.” “How's the lord and savior of the universe gonna let himself get strung up naked on a cross by a bunch of other dudes? How am I gonna respect a dude who let's himself get strung up naked on a cross by a bunch of other dudes? No homo.” Jade, I invite you to hop aboard the SS Imagination, destination eternal damnation, and think if we can do that to your lord and savior how's The Enterprise supposed to compare to us? Terry is understandably mortified over the possibility he may be struck by lightening when he leaves the arena this evening. However he composes himself to address Krista. TAYLOR Well, Krista, I guess it's up to you to save our mortal souls. Last week you rescued D*LUX from a vicious assault by The Enterprise. During that time you came face to face with your former protege, Jade Rodez. Many people, not myself, I know that you're a true sweetheart, expected to lay your hands on Jade. Yet you did not. Why? KRISTA Considering that you've never actually had any, the concept of friends might seem a little alien to ya. But Jade, despite all the emotional hell she's put me through in these few miserable weeks, is still my friend. And just because she's decided to lie in bed with a man who's so full of piping hot shit that the very mention of his name draws flies, doesn't mean that's changed. Jade's always saw past my cruel words and my terrible hatred. She's trusted me despite the fact that I can be a bit of a bitch sometimes. ALIX Sometimes? KRISTA Okay, most of time! TAYLOR Most of the time? KRISTA All the time! There, are you happy? All the time! But Jade, unlike you two wastes of sperm and egg, never cared;. She's always thought of me as a kind and sweet person, and for that I'm thankful, and for that I can never hurt her. TAYLOR You must admit however that her recent alignment with The Enterprise has made your time in the oaoast even more stress inducing then before. We know you don't necessarily like it here, but I can only imagine that recent events have certainly worsened your opinion of the oaoast! KRISTA Terry, quite contrary to what my recently increased dosage of anti depressants might indicate, I do actually kinda sorta like my job here in the oaoast. Which is a little odd, because for most Americans their job is just the trigger to them climbing the clock tower and pulling a Charles Whitman. ALIX Stop, look, what's that sound? Oh, it's just the sound of that reference going over the heads of anyone born after 1982. KRISTA Be calm, Krista, remember your karma. Anyway, everyone has their own issues at work, their boss is a scumbag, the hours are unbearable, the commute is pure murder, and in Theodore's mother's case, the condom breaks and the damn Pimp says he won't for any more abortions! I'm only getting ten dollars to be in this movie, and that pimp's taking eight! But one thing that unites us all, no matter what the profession, doctor, lawyer, fireman, glory hole worker, ain't no shame Terry Taylor, do your thing, is that at all of our jobs we all have someone we're this close to pounding the life out of. Someone so amazingly obnoxious that when you walk through the door in the morning you say “I wish this person would make me act a fool! Because if they do, I swear to Janis Joplin above, and Jesse Helms bellow, I'm gonna tear their shit up. Swear to god, swear to Jesus! Don't test me today!” And if you're in the audience and you aren't nodding your head, then you're probably the one who needs their ass kicked. Terry, I can guarantee that Theodore Moneymaker isn't nodding his head right now. And unfortunately for Theo, unlike the rest of the morose buffoons that routinely crap in society's cereal bowl, he works for a wrestling company, meaning there's is zero protection for his physical health. That means he lives in mortal danger of having me knock his toupee off his head, and back into the enchanted forest with the rest of the woodland creatures. And if your man CPA tries to step up, I won't hesitate to pick up another croquet mallet and knock the Uncle Tom right out of him. ALIX Enchanted forest? I love enchanted forest! KRISTA I know what you're thinking, Theo. “Wait a minute! You already slapped the ugly outta me back in April!” That was April, baby, this is May. I gotta get my beating in this month. And the next month. And the month after that. I want to beat you until there's nothing left of you but your fat donkey lips talking about money talks and bullshit walks. If money really does talk, it shoulda told you to walk your bullshit back on home and stay there, because everytime you show up in the same town as Krista Isadora Duncan you run a serious risk of getting your jaw broken, and your ass beat from now until forever. Now, to change the subject for bit, I heard it through the grapevine you spent beaucoup dollars to bring in a brand new tag team to deal with me and Ally... TAYLOR That's right, Krista. Die Todeshändler, Stefan Von Helldorf, and Lukas Heydrich. They're a fairly decent tag team out of Germany. KRISTA Well, my dearest Theodore seems to think they're a lil bit better then decent. Because he says that they will do what fourteen other oaoast tag teams failed to do in a battle royal, and that is unseat the queens of entertainment from their lofty thrones. Let's get it right, Terry Taylor, they aren't gonna do shit. Moneymaker, you philanthropic little scamp, do you honestly think you've brought them across the ocean for a great and wonderful opportunity? An opportunity to do what, exactly? Be on the receiving end of the worst American on German beating since the Battle of Normandy? If you honestly want to pay the Hitler Youth a kindness, get The Love Doctors to put pen to pad, and write them a doctor's note out of this little powwow. Diagnosis 'em with polio, smallpox, something, anything to save their lives tonight! ALIX (in a thick German accent) But Herr Moneymaker, deher disease ist eradicated! Ve kant have eeet! KRISTA “I'm trying to save your life, Mein Kampf, shut the hell on up, god damn!” Dearest Theodore, you must, must, must do something to avoid this international incident, because Alix is the only American Sweetheart here. I fight just how you look, and that means shit's going to get real ugly. Your boys may think their gonna head back across the ocean with a title around their waist, but the only souvenir their getting back on the boat with is my foot lodged right up their ass. The very mention of such punishment causes Terry to shudder deeply, the painful memories of the repercussions for his ill advised "panty raid" flooding back to him. TAYLOR Die Todeshändler, I can tell you from weekly experience that's a souvenir you don't really want! Girls, as always, thank you very much for being brutally honest with your opinions. For the OAOAST I am Terry Taylor, good night and god bless. COMMERCIAL BREAK COMING UP NEXT An Anglemania rematch ****X Title**** PRL vs Dance Dance Dragon The lights go down in the arena. A Puerto Rican flag appears on the AngleTron. In big white blocky letters, the following words appear on the screen, with Tha Puerto Rican saying them: *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* COLE Here we go! Time for the X-Division Title Match! With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role '99" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and booing. PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" throughout the song, while smoke fills the entryway and strobe lights appear on the entrance set. A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and through the smoke come "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican, and his manager and "Career Consultant" Stephen Joseph Popick. The crowds' boos get louder. PR looks at the crowd in disgust, jawing with some fans. PRL raises the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt and his black spray-painted briefcase with his Golden Contract inside. PRL taunts the crowd some more. He looks at Popick, and the two of them begin their walk down the entrance ramp. Chants of "P.R. SUCKS!" fill the arena. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the One And Only AngleSault Thread X-Division Championship! Introducing first. Coming to the ring at this time. Accompanied to the ring by his manager and "Career Consultant" Stephen Joseph Popick. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 220 lbs. He is the leader of The Lightning Crew, The Man With The Golden Contract, AND the One And Only AngleSault Thread X-Division Champion of the worrrrrlllllddddddddd...."The Corporate Champion" THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! PRL and Popick continue their walk to the ring. COLE PRL set to defend his X-Division Title for only the second time tonight. He first defended it on OAOAST Syndicated last month against Bohemoth, who he will meet again this month in a Hell In A Cell Match at School's Out on May 27th! COACH This is going to be one hell of a match! Tha Puerto Rican will beat the snot out of that dancing masked goof en route to finally destroying Bohemoth once and for all at School's Out. COLE I don't know, Coach. PR seemed pretty scared earlier tonight. COACH That's what's called playing possum, Cole. You wouldn't know that since you've never been in the ring! COLE So all those times you got your BUTT whooped, you were playing possum? COACH That's right! COLE I find that hard to believe. COACH It's the truth. It's the truth, Ruth! Tha Puerto Rican gets on the ring apron and sneers at the crowd. Popick holds the ropes, and Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring. He spins around; soaking in the fans boos while "Know Your Role '99" continues playing over the P.A. system. Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him and Popick holds the X-Division Championship belt and black spray-painted briefcase. The crowd is still booing loudly and chanting "P.R. SUCKS!" PRL heads to a second turnbuckle and raises his belt and briefcase. He then heads to another second turnbuckle and raises his belt and hands again. PR hits a third second turnbuckle, and raises the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt with his right hand in the air and "smells the electricity" a'la The Rock. PRL does the same Rock pose on the fourth second turnbuckle, recieving boos. COLE Tha Puerto Rican set to have an AngleMania rematch with Dance Dance Dragon. PRL ended up winning the tournament for the vacant X-Division Championship back on April 1st, and has held the X-Division Title since then. COACH Dance Dance Dragon better thank his lucky stars that PRL even gave him a rematch. There's plenty of opponents MUCH better than Dragon. PRL felt pity and gave him the shot because that's how nice he is! Tha Puerto Rican gets off the ropes, removes his sunglasses and earring, and chats with Popick while the lights go back on in the arena. "Know Your Role '99" dies down as PRL and Popick wait for Dance Dance Dragon. "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" PRL covers his ears to drown out the chant, but is unable to. PRL sneers at the crowd. COLE The crowd trying to get into PRL's eye. COACH It's not working. It's not working! "Hung Up" by Madonna starts playing. A DDR stage hollogram shines down in front of the entrance stage and for a while it's quiet. The intro part of the song plays as the entrance doors slide open, and Dance Dance Dragon calmly walks out. When the song picks up pace, multi-coloured strobes go freakoutapalooza through the rest of the arena and Dance Dance Dragon starts to bust a freakin' move, people! A bunch of scantily clad dancers run out and dance to the sides of him, and start dancing too. The crowd cheers loudly. Dragon soon stops and walks down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way. BUFFER And his opponent. The challenger. From Heaven's Dancefloor. Weighing in at 199 lbs. He is DANCE DANCEEEEEEEEEEEE DRAGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! COLE Dance Dance Dragon has come a long way in these past four months. People thought he wouldn't even make it past the first round in the X-Division Title tournament, but he went all the way to the finals and AngleMania VI, where he lost to Tha Puerto Rican! COACH That was a great moment. And it should have been the end of Dragon's career. But he's still standing, ONLY because PRL didn't put 100% effort into destroying him! Dance Dance Dragon slaps fans' hands at ringside, and then climbs up the ring steps and enters the ring. COLE Well, PRL--- COACH HEY LOOK, PRL IS ATTACKING DANCE DANCE DRAGON! Indeed, Tha Puerto Rican attacks Dance Dance Dragon as soon as he enters the ring! PRL throws his Puerto Rican flag bandana at Dragon, and then beats him up some more! Referee Earl Hebner calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* OAOAST X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN (Champion with Stephen Joseph Popick) vs. DANCE DANCE DRAGON (Challenger) PRL attacks DDD with Rock-style punches to the temple! The punches take Dragon to a turnbuckle, where PRL continues hitting Triple D with punch after punch! THA PUERTO RICAN COME ON! PR punches Dragon some more. He then grabs DDD by his right arm and whips him into the opposite turnbuckle. Puerto charges forward. Stinger Splash! P.R. taunts some fans. COLE PR starting this match strong! COACH He's not giving Dragon a chance to recover! Look at him! Tha Puerto Rican does the "Up Yours!" hand gesture, and then grabs Dance Dance Dragon, pulling him off the turnbuckle. PRL whips Dragon into the opposite turnbuckle--Dragon reverses, PRL hits the turnbuckle back first HARD! Dance Dance Dragon shows off his gymnastics skills by doing some backflips before finishing with a clothesline on PRL! COLE And Dragon makes the comeback! COACH Oh no! Dance Dance Dragon chops PRL across his chest! "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Dragon punches PRL in the face! Dragon chops PRL across the chest again! "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Dragon punches PRL in the face! Chop! ("WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!") Punch! Chop! ("WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!") Punch! Chop! ("WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!") Punch! Chop! ("WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!") Punch! COLE Dance Dance Dragon hitting PRL with one of his trademark moves, Violence Party! The Corporate Champ is winded! The Strong Style Party Animal grabs Tha Puerto Rican and slams his head on the top turnbuckle pad! He does it again! And again! And again! 5! 6! 7! 8! 9! 10! 11! 12! PRL is in a daze. Triple D scoops Tha Puerto Rican up and places him in the tree of woe. He then exits the ring and climbs the top rope. COLE The Dragon's gonna fly now! DDD is crouched on the top turnbuckle. Dragon stands up, looks down at Tha Puerto Rican, and then leaps off the top rope, hitting the OAOAST X-Division Champion with a DOUBLE STOMP~! COLE Perfect! COACH That wasn't perfect! Dance Dance Dragon just knocked the wind out of Tha Puerto Rican! COLE That's the name of that move, Coach. Do we have to go through this everytime? COACH I have a short term mem--what were we talking about again? COLE The crowd cheers for Perfect! PRL clutches his chest and has trouble breathing! Dragon pulls Tha Puerto Rican down onto the mat and makes the cover. Earl Hebner counts. COLE It could already be over! ONE! TWO! THRE--KICK OUT! COACH And it's not thank goodness! Earl Hebner holds up two fingers signifying the two count. The crowd boos. Dragon is disappointed, but he continues fighting, picking Tha Puerto Rican up. DDD sizes PRL up. He kicks him in the stomach! Then he kicks him in the chest! Then Dragon kicks PRL in the back! Then he kicks PRL in the face! The crowd groans with each shot! COLE Well, we found out at AngleMania VI. Dance Dance Dragon is more than meets the eye! COACH I sure hope PRL rips his eyes out! COLE How can he? Dragon's wearing a mask. Dance Dance Dragon kicks PRL in the gut again! DDD then kicks PRL in the chest again! Dragon then kicks PRL in the jaw, knocking him down! Dance Dance Dragon plays to the crowd, who respond with cheers! "DRA-GON!" "DRA-GON!" "DRA-GON!" "DRA-GON!" COACH Oh! This is just like AngleMania VI all over again! Fight him, PRL! I know you're not in the right mood, but your title is on the line! You heard that? YOUR TITLE IS ON THE LINE! COLE PRL's mind is focused on the Hell In A Cell Match coming up in three weeks at School's Out. You can't blame him if he can't stop thinking about *that* match! COACH Well he has to, or else the X-Division Title won't be on the line at School's Out! Triple D picks Tha Puerto Rican up. After giving him a forearm to the face, Dragon grabs PRL and whips him into a turnbuckle. PRL does a Flair Flip onto the ring apron! PRL charges forward...right into a clothesline from DDD! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE And PRL is down, knocked out by Dance Dance Dragon! COACH Oh dangit! This isn't right! This isn't right at all! Come on PR! Come on! PRL falls onto the protective mats. PRL is already starting to feel fatigued. P.R. takes a little longer than usual to get up to his feet, but when he does, he's greeted by an unwelcome sight. BOHEMOTH! COLE Bohemoth is here! The man who will meet Tha Puerto Rican in Hell In A Cell at School's Out is here! COACH Why is he here for? They can't touch each other until School's Out, or else the match is cancelled! Bohemoth isn't that dumb to risk cancelling the match is he? COLE I somehow doubt that, Coach. But I'm as confused as you are as to why Bohemoth is out here anyway! PRL is shocked, then frightened that Bohemoth is staring right at him. Bohemoth, in one of his pimp suits, just looks at PRL, a smirk on his face. P.R. can't stop staring at Bohemoth. COLE PRL seems to be distracted now! COACH Can you blame him? The man who is promising to HURT the poor guy is only a few feet away from him! I'd be scared too! COLE You'd also pee in your pants and run away. Two things PRL isn't doing! COACH Oh will you stop? COLE Hey that's my line! PR says something to Bohemoth, but Bohemoth just continues looking on. COLE PRL is having a harder time fighting Dance Dance Dragon then he did at AngleMania! Will The Corporate Champ retain? We'll be right back after these messages! The camera does a close-up of Bohemoth's face as we go commercial break. * COMMERCIAL BREAK * We return to HeldDOWN~! with Dance Dance Dragon stomping on Tha Puerto Rican. COLE Welcome back fans, and during the break, it's been all Dragon! Triple D, the man who was ROBBED of the X-Division Title at AngleMania, is in control of the X-Champion tonight here on HeldDOWN~! COACH Snap out of it, PR! COLE Maybe Dance Dance Dragon is really on PRL's level after all! COACH HA! Don't make me laugh! HA! Bohemoth continues staring at the ring. COLE Bohemoth has not left. He is still out here! What is he trying to do? COACH He's trying to psych out Tha Puerto Rican, that's what! But it's not working! My man knows how to handle this! He's got this right in the bag! Triple D picks P.R. up. The crowd is buzzing. Triple D lifts P.R. up onto his shoulders. He then starts spinning him around! COLE One of the oldest moves in the book, but an effective one! The Airplane Spin, or as Dance Dance Dragon calls it, The Speed Modifier! COACH Ugh! This is SO humilating for The Corporate Champ! But the crowd aproves of it, very much so. Finally, Dragon puts PRL back on his feet, dizzy himself. The Bemani Bruiser gives the P.R. Menace an Irish whip into the ropes. Dragon goes for a clothesline. PRL ducks, bounces off the ropes...and hits DDD with a Gamengiri! COLE Dodge THIS, BITCH~! Tha Puerto Rican quickly goes for the cover! 1... 2... RIGHT SHOULDER UP! COACH Shoot, that was close! PRL sneers at the referee, and then starts choking Dragon with his bare hands! COLE Now come on! Does he really need to do this? COACH Hey, he's trying to teach Dance Dance Dragon what happens when he messes with him! Welcome to the big time, Dragon! Earl Hebner orders PR to stop at the count of 5. 1! 2! 3! 4! PR lets go. He then chokes Dragon again! EARL HEBNER Come on! Break it up! 1! 2! 3! 4! PRL stops choking DDD. He then chokes him again! EARL HEBNER Come on now! 1! 2! PRL stops. "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" PRL taunts the crowd and then picks DDD up. Tha Puerto Rican punches Dragon in the face. He does it again! And again! Punch! Punch! Punch! NOW KISS THAT LEFT! Punch! Dance Dance Dragon falls to the mat! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican stomps Dance Dance Dragon with his shaky leg kicks, and then chokes Triple D with his right foot! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is just being RUTHLESS with Dance Dance Dragon tonight! COACH PRL is not in a mood to be messed with! He's got Bohemoth breathing down his neck and it's pissing him off! COLE Bohemoth isn't doing anything! He's just staring at Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Because he knows if he gets anywhere near the ring, PR will lay the smackdown on him! COLE Oh come on! Bohemoth continues watching as PRL gets up and picks Dance Dance Dragon up by his mask. Tha Puerto Rican hooks Dragon up, and gives him a vertical suplex. P.R. rolls through, and hits another vertical suplex. P.R. rolls through a second time and lifts Dance Dance Dragon up for a third vertical suplex. TPR holds DDD up in the air for a few seconds, letting the blood rush to his head. The crowd is in awe of PRL's strength. COLE PRL's certainly got alot of strength. COACH That's right, Bohemoth! He ain't no weakling! This is a STRONG MAN you're going to fight on May 27th! P.R. continues holding DDD in the air. He does the "You can't see me!" hand gesture and then does it again while looking at Bohemoth. PRL then walks over to the ropes, drops Dragon on the top ring rope, and completes the slingshot suplex to finish off the Corporate Trifecta! Afterwards, PRL applauds himself, drawing boos. PRL mouths off to Bohemoth, who stands still as a statue, and then gets on top of Triple D and starts hammering his head. PRL COME ON! PRL gets up and stomps on Dragon, and then exits the ring and climbs the top rope. COLE What's he going to do now? Tha Puerto Rican positions himself on the top turnbuckle, and then dives off, getting impressive airtime before dropping his left leg across Dance Dance Dragon's throat! COLE The Mad Cappa Crusher '06: The Remix~! PRL covers Dragon. 1...2...RIGHT SHOULDER UP! "D! D! D!" "D! D! D!" "D! D! D!" "D! D! D!" COLE This crowd trying to rally Dance Dance Dragon back into this match! PRL is getting increasingly annoyed now. He picks The masked superstar and taunts him before giving him a wheelbarrow suplex. Puerto picks DDD up again and hits him with several European Uppercuts. Puerto Rican whips Dance Dance Dragon into the ropes, and follows with a dropkick! COLE Great dropkick from Tha Puerto Rican! The CORPORATE X-Division Champion sneers at the crowd, and then picks Triple D up one more time. Tha Puerto Rican then places Dragon in between his legs, and then hooks his arms. The crowd boos. PRL sneers at Bohemoth. COLE He's going for The Annexation Of Puerto Rico! NO! Dragon escapes PRL's grasp, and trips him up! The crowd cheers! DDD then grabs PRL's legs...and slingshots him into a top turnbuckle pad! COACH Illegal manuever! Illegal manuever! DISQUALIFY HIM REF! DISQUALIFY HIM! Both PRL and Dragon are down! Both men are breathing hard as the crowd has come back to life. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is out! Dance Dance Dragon is out! The referee has begun his 10 count! Bohemoth walks back up the entrance ramp as the ref's 10 count begins. COLE Where's Bohemoth going? COACH He probably doesn't want to see PRL beat Dragon up close. It'll be too painful for him! COLE Oh will you stop? 1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! Dragon moves his arms. 7! Dragon slowly sits up. 8! Dragon crawls over to Tha Puerto Rican. 9! Dance Dance Dragon covers Tha Puerto Rican! 1.... 2... 3~! KICK OUT! CROWD AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! COLE A close fall! But the match is still going on, with the OAOAST X-Division Title hanging in the balance! COACH Dragon's lucky! He's just lucky! PR's gonna come back! He'll strike back! Dance Dance Dragon takes a moment to sigh, and then slowly gets up. Bohemoth has left the ringside area. Dragon is up at a vertical base. He picks Tha Puerto Rican up by his hair. Dragon measures PRL up, and then kicks him in the stomach! The crowd groans! DDD then kicks PRL in the chest! The crowd groans again! Dragon kicks PRL in the back! The crowd groans some more! Dragon kicks PRL in the face! The crowd groans one more time! Dragon kicks PRL in the gut once more, and then runs to the ropes, springboards off of them, and gives PRL an Asai DDT! COLE Dance Dance DDT! Here's the cover! ONE! TWO! THRE--KICK OUT! Dance Dance Dragon slaps the mat in frustration. He picks PR up by his head. Osaka Street Cutter! Dragon covers Puerto! 1... 2... KICK OUT! DDD gets right back up as the crowd rallies behind him. The Bemani Bruiser exits the ring and climbs the top rope. He waits for Tha Puerto Rican to get up. COLE We are about to see a flying dragon! COACH Look out PRL! Get the hell out of the way! Dragon motions for P.R. to get to his feet. P.R. slowly sits up. He then starts to get to his feet with Popick trying to warn him that Dragon's on the top rope. COLE Dragon looking to win his first OAOAST singles title tonight! COACH It's not going to happen! IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! The crowd is fired up. PRL is on his right knee. He then gets to his own two feet again. POPICK TURN AROUND! TURN AROUND! COACH YEAH! TURN AROUND! Tha Puerto Rican is severly weakened. His eyes are glazed over. The Corporate Champ turns around-- Dance Dance Dragon leaps off the top rope-- ---Flying crossbody! 1... 2... PRL rolls through, and now he is covering Dragon! He's grabbing the tights! 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE No! A kickout! COACH That wasn't the finish!? COLE No Coach! Believe it or not, that was not the finish! The match continues! COACH Aw dammit! PRL is stunned that wasn't the finish. He demands that Hebner be reprimdaded by the OAOAST Championship Committee for what he perceives as biased officiating. The crowd, however, is relieved that the match is still going on. Stephen Joseph Popick is close to having a heart attack. He runs his hand through his hair and wipes the sweat off of his forehead. COLE Dance Dance Dragon is giving PRL a run for his money tonight! COACH Shut up! PRL is distracted by Bohemoth is all! It's not like Dragon is in PRL's league! COLE He might be after tonight! COACH Oh hush up, you! The Corporate Champion picks the Strong Style Party Animal up by his mask. Rock punch! And then, PRL grabs Dragon by his right arm and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes--Dragon reverses--PRL reverses the reversal, and Dragon bounces off the ropes. SPINEBUSTER~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COACH Oh yeah! Here we go! Here we go! It's time! It's time! It's time! COLE The thousands in attendance are on their feet! Tha Puerto Rican is going for the IntenseZone Elbow! Dance Dance Dragon lies knocked out in the centre of the ring. PRL taunts the crowd as he walks on over to where Dragon is lying and kicks his right hand onto his chest. The crowd starts booing loudly. PRL removes his right elbow pad, spits on it, and throws it down onto Dragon's chest. He then does the weird hand signals and bounces off the ropes, leaps over Dragon...and stops in his tracks. PRL is distracted by something in the aisleway. COLE What the--? Why? Why did PRL stop? How come? COACH I--I don't know, Cole! Tha Puerto Rican's mouth is wide open as he exits the ring. The crowd is as puzzled as Cole and Coach are. PRL walks on over to the edge of the entrance ramp and finds... a tombstone. COLE Whoa. Is that--is that what I think it is? COACH That looks like a tombstone! COLE Where did it come from? COACH Why would someone bring a tombstone into the arena! There's an empty grave somewhere! Tha Puerto Rican looks over the tombstone, and is HORRIFIED at what he reads. Because, enscribed on the tombstone is the following: THA PUERTO RICAN SEPTEMBER 12, 1979 - MAY 27, 2007 THE CHAMP IS DEAD! COLE Oh my. That's Tha Puerto Rican's own tombstone! COACH Who did this!? Bohemoth! Did he do this!? He's trying to mess with Tha Puerto Rican! COLE How creepy is it to look at your own tombstone? How much damage to your psyche must that do? COACH How can he do this? What has PR done to deserve this? COLE Look at the date of death. May 27th, 2007. The date of School's Out. It looks like Bohemoth is sending a message to Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Bohemoth, this isn't right! You're terrifying the poor guy! PRL is speechless as he stares at his tombstone. The crowd is shocked by it too. But then they start cheering when Bohemoth shows up again on the entrance stage! COLE And he's back! Bohemoth is here again! COACH He's crazy! Bohemoth really is crazy! PRL looks up and is spooked out. Bohemoth smiles as he starts walking down the entrance ramp. PRL immediatley starts walking backwards back to the ring. THA PUERTO RICAN You stay away from me! STAY AWAY FROM ME! YOU HEAR! STAY AWAY FROM ME, YOU JOCKASS! COLE Bohemoth and PRL will meet at School's Out on May 27th, but until then they cannot touch each other! So I guess Bohemoth will try to psych PRL out until then, and so far, it looks like it's working! COACH I've never seen PRL like this! NEVER! COLE That's because he's never faced someone like Bohemoth! PRL is *this* close to a mental breakdown! COACH Poor PRL. COLE You might be the only person in the world saying that right now. COACH Not true. The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick feel the same way! COLE Touche. "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" COACH SHUT UP WITH THAT CHANT! COLE It might come true on May 27th! PRL is trembling as he walks back to the ring. Bohemoth just chuckles as he walks down the entrance ramp across the aisle. Finally, PRL rolls back into the ring. He continues telling Bohemoth to stay away from him as his voice cracks and he shakes nervously in the ring. PRL Stay away from me, you hear? Just stay away from me! STAY AWAY FROM ME! YOU HEAR ME!? STAY AWAY FROM ME! STAY AWAY FROM-- Dance Dance Dragon lifts PRL up! COLE He's not gonna! He's got him up! COACH Oh no! Oh no! Dance Dance Dragon has "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican up on his shoulders. The crowd cheers loudly. PRL is too stunned to do anything. BEMANI BUSTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111 COLE The Bemani Buster! The Bemani Buster! Dance Dance Dragon has got PRL right where he wants him! COACH Oh no! Get up! GET UP! Dance Dance Dragon covers Tha Puerto Rican. Stephen Joseph Popick is shaking his head. Bohemoth watches as Earl Hebner makes the count with the crowd counting along. 1... 2... 2 1/2 2.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" *DING DING DING* (9:19) COLE Dragon did it! He finally did it! We got a new X-Division Champion! DDD immediatley gets up and raises his hands in victory! The crowd goes wild as "Hung Up" by Madonna starts playing. Referee Earl Hebner grabs the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt from the timekeeper and hands it over to Dragon. BUFFER Here is your winner...and NEW One And Only AngleSault Thread X-Division Champion...DANCE DANCEEEEEEEEEEEE DRAGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! PRL lies on the mat, covering his face in shame. Dance Dance Dragon raises the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt over his head and jumps up and down while the crowd cheers loudly. Bohemoth chuckles a little as he watches PRL lie on the mat miserable. COLE Dance Dance Dragon has gotten his revenge for what happened at AngleMania! He is now the NEW X-Division Champion, the first title he's ever held in his OAOAST career! COACH This is not right! PRL was distracted! Why didn't the referee get Bohemoth out of there! Why didn't the referee get that tombstone out of there? Since when is a tombstone a normal part of a ringside area!? COLE It's too late to anything now! PRL's OAOAST X-Division Title reign is over! COACH Oh, and it was a short reign too! This was only his second title defense! COLE And yet he's defended it two more times than Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez has defended the OAOAST Women's Championship! COACH Oh let's not start! Hush up! Dance Dance Dragon heads to a second turnbuckle and raises his newly won OAOAST X-Division Championship belt over his head to LOUD cheers. Dragon then heads to another second turnbuckle and raises the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt over his head again. Dragon gets off the second turnbuckle and raises the belt over his head as "Hung Up" continues playing. PRL is crawling in the ring now, crushed at his loss. Bohemoth applauds Dragon from the outside. COLE Bohemoth did a really good job psyching out Tha Puerto Rican tonight! COACH He's going to pay. Oh, he will pay. Bo's NOT gonna kill PRL! PRL's gonna kill Bo! At School's Out, in the Hell In A Cell, PRL will get HIS REVENGE! COLE Well, one thing's for sure. The X-Division Title will no longer be on the line in the Hell In A Cell Match at School's Out. It's all about pride now! COACH It's now all about Tha Puerto Rican ENDING THE CAREER OF BOHEMOTH AT SCHOOL'S OUT! Dance Dance Dragon starts busting a move in the middle of the ring with the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt over his left shoulder. The crowd cheers some more. PRL watches while sitting on his ass in the ring. COLE Dance Dance Dragon has pulled off the upset. It's the biggest win of his career thus far! Dance Dance Dragon is the NEW One And Only AngleSault Thread X-Division Champion, ending PRL's title reign in less than 2 months! PRL turns his attention to Bohemoth, who is staring right at him. PRL has a look of fear and anger on his face. He is shaking as he continues staring at his future opponent. COLE And now, Tha Puerto Rican can focus on his future, because, in just three weeks time, Tha Puerto Rican will be locked inside the Hell In A Cell against Bohemoth! One-on-one! There's no going back for Tha Puerto Rican! On May 27th at School's Out from the Toyota Center in Houston, Texas, "The Metrosexual Monster" Bohemoth and "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican will collide! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican continues staring at Bohemoth. PRL is scared while Bohemoth is serious. Dance Dance Dragon raises the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt over his head while the crowd cheers and "Hung Up" by Madonna continues playing. Dragon leaves the ring and high fives the fans at ringside while raising the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt with his right hand. Triple D high fives Bohemoth and then walks up the entrance ramp dancing with the title belt. The shots of Bohemoth and Tha Puerto Rican staring at each other are the last thing we see before we fade to black. FADE TO BLACK * COMMERCIAL BREAK *

Back from the break, Bohemoth with apparantly nothing better to do is locked in deep conversation with Melody Nerdly. As the two shoot the breeze, Bohemoth suddenly loses his train of thought and leaves Mel hanging. Something more important seems to be happening behind her. Bo tears off his sunglasses and marches past the confused Nerdly sister, as THA PUERTO RICAN is busy tearing a strip off of some lowly stagehand for some reason. Just as PRL starts to get into his stride and really run ther guy down, Bohemoth's shadow looms over him and PRL too trails off. Judging from the size of the shadow, PRL knows he's in trouble and slowly turns around, before jumping out of his skin... ...for a moment, at least. After a little flinch backwards, a lightbulb suddenly seems to go off in PR's head and a smile creeps over his face. BOHEMOTH Problem? PRL Yes, actually. I was just telling this jabroni that my coffee isn't warm enough and he should do something about it, until you interrupted. So, unless this is about my coffee, I suggest... BOHEMOTH Go. Now. Wiping the smile off his face, PRL extends his hands. PRL Are you going to make me? C'mon Bo, make me! Make me leave. Make me leave this jabroni alone, huh? Go ahead Bo, make my day! Bo just glares PRL ...what, nothing? C'mon Bo, do your worst, you know you want to. What's the matter? At Syndicated, it took twenty or thirty people to hold you back. And now, now as you stand eye to eye, face to face, man to man with Tha Puerto Rican... don't tell me you're scared! Don't tell me that you're afraid of Tha Puerto Rican, Mister 'Meterosexual Monster'. Whatever in the hell that means. There's no need to be afraid. I'll even give you the first shot. Huh... huh... Showing off his Muhammed Ali-esque footwork, PRL extends his chin, juking about on the spot and daring Bo to take a swing at him. Much as Bohemoth would clearly like to, he's not falling for the trap though. PRL Look at you. Huh, look at you. You're pathetic. You make yourself to be the big man, but when a fight stands in front of you, your muscles tense, your BUTT clenches, the piss starts running down your leg. You're not MAN enough to hit me, are you? You're a pussy! A PUSSY!! BOHEMOTH You son of a... PRL Go ahead, hit me! Hit me! HIT ME!! Fist clenched, Bo rears back... and j u s t about stops himself from punching PRL's lights out. PRL Heh... you know what, maybe this coffee isn't so cold after all. What do you think Bo? *SPLASH!* "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Coffee stains the crisp beige suit of The Meterosexual Monster as PRL throws the open cup right in his face!! The stagehand finally takes this as his cue to leave, or better yet run the hell away, as Bohemoth can be heard growling under his breath. PRL looks a little shocked himself at what he just did but stands his ground, cautiously waiting for that first punch... ...which still isn't coming. Bohemoth wipes the coffee from his face, looking down at his ruined suit before glaring a hole through PRL. BOHEMOTH May 27th... you're gonna DIE!! Turning on his heels, Bo marches off in the direction of the nearest dry cleaners. Leaving Tha Puerto Rican stood, eyes bugged out of his head a little and holding an empty cup of coffee. PRL Damnit! COMMERCIAL BREAK COMING UP NEXT A clash of rookie phenoms The debuting Jacob Cross Vs The Syrian Prince Abdullah Abir Nerdly NEXT The image is that of a dilapidated warehouse, it's only piece of furniture a rustic wrestling ring lying within the middle of the floor. Inside the ring stands OAOAST rookie, Abdullah Abir Nerdly, his one hundred eighty one pounds locked behind an Edmonton Oilers hockey jersey, and a pair of navy workout pants. ABDULLAH ABIR NERDLY Do I feel any pressure heading into my match with Jacob Cross? No, and why should I. He's the one making his debut, he's the one with something to prove, he has to show he's not some beer bellied stiff who's going to get squashed in a minute like all my previous opponents. The world already knows what I, The Syrian Prince, am all about. They know that I'm the best, they know that if it weren't for outside interference from an unsanctioned body, then I would've won the Money In The Bank battle royal, and I would've cashed in my contract that very night, and kicked the life out of Drek Stone! The world knows that. They don't know Jacob Cross, and the pressure is on him. Can he live up to it? Not against me he can't. FADE OUT COLE Tonight we have the debut of Jacob Cross. If what we saw earlier is any indication then we have a lot to look forward to. COACH How many wrestlers can say they got into a bar room brawl the same week they make their debut? COLE Probably more than you think. COACH Yeah...you're probably right. COLE Tonight Jacob will be taking on Abdullah Abir Nerdly in his debut match. Let's take you to the ring for the action. "Hate Me Now" by Nas feat. Diddy begins to play as two flags unfurl on either side of the Angletron. The fans boo loudly as they recognize the flags of Syria and Canada. COLE Well that's a sure fire way to turn this crowd against you. COACH I don't think he cares. Green lights swirl around the entryway as Abdullah Abir Nerdly walks through the sliding doors and soaks in the boos from the crowd. Some fans throw things at Abdullah and others chant "USA USA USA" at him, which brings a smirk to his face. Obscene gestures and taunts greet Nerdly as he steps into the ring and throws his arms in the air. BUFFER Introducing first. From Edmonton, Alberta by way of Damascus, Syria. He weighs in at 182 pounds. ABDULLAH....ABIR....NERDLY!!!!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! COLE With no surprise the fans are adamantly against Abdullah. COACH Well that's because they're all racist Cole. You wouldn't believe the looks I've been getting from these fans today! COLE That might be because you have mustard on your face. It's been there all day. COACH Yeah I'm not falling for that one! COLE Fine...don't believe me. Abdullah parades around the ring, taunting the fans with Anti-American rants. His music is finally cut off by the opening notes of "Wherever I May Roam" by Metallica. The fans instantly begin to cheer, mostly because of the song, but the also have taken right to Jacob Cross seeing who his opponent is. Jacob walks through the sliding doors and stops to look around the arena. From under his cowboy hat you can see his eyes taking in everything around him. COLE You can see a bit of a shiner on the face of Jacob Cross from that bar room brawl he was in earlier this week. COACH Is this really the kind of wrestler we want here? A drunk who gets in bar room fights?? COLE Why don't you give him a chance before writing him off? COACH Well he already seems like bad news to me and I know how to read people Cole. COLE Oh that's hilarious. BUFFER Introducing next. From wherever he may roam...weighing in at 225 pounds...JACOB...CROSS!!!!! YEAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! The fans cheer for Jacob and he just smirks to himself as he walks around the ring before entering. COLE Jacob seems pretty calm and a bit amused by the crowd's reaction to someone they've never seen. COACH Or maybe he's just drunk! COLE You don't know that! Jacob completes a circle around the ring and removes his cowboy hat to hand it to the ring attendant. He then heads for the ring steps and as he begins to climb Abdullah slides out of the ring and grabs the cowboy hat. COLE What is he doing?? COACH He just wants to look at it Cole! Abdullah looks at the hat in disgust and even sniffs it. With one wiff he recoils with a look of revulsion. COACH Hahaha it probably reeks of liquor! Cross looks a bit peeved and decides to head over towards Abdullah. Abdullah sees him coming and drops the hat on the ground before spitting on it and then acting like he's going to stomp it. COLE He wouldn't!! The smirk goes away from Jacob's face as he stares Nerdly down. Abdullah then grabs a mic. ABDULLAH I'll stomp this ugly thing into the ground if you come any closer! You will not lay a hand on me! I will not wrestle a drunk man!! This is disgusting!! COACH That's right!! This is not safe. ABDULLAH You are a typical American! You're an alcoholic bafoon! I saw what happened at that bar! You make me sick!! Jacob throws his hands up and says, "Fine, just let me get my hat and I'll leave." COLE Is he actually going to leave??? COACH What a coward! Jacob walks over and bends down to grab his hat, but he then veers right and nails Abdullah with a left hand to the face! YEAHHHHHHHH!!!!! COACH Now that's just cheap!!! COLE What and stomping a man's hat isn't!? Jacob lights Abdullah up with rights and lefts and then tosses him into the ring under the bottom rope. Jacob quickly follows and waits for Abdullah to stand. *DING DING DING* Jacob takes off his necklace and tosses it out of the ring while Abdullah gets to his feet. The second he stands he is taken right back down by a hard clothesline from Jacob. Abdullah is down for a second, but he quickly gets back up. Jacob grabs him by the arm and whips him into the corner, following close behind. A second after Abdullah hits the corner Jacob comes in with another clothesline that bends Abdullah back against the turnbuckles. COLE Jacob has control early and he looks impressive. COACH That's because he got a cheap shot in! How can you condone this!? COLE Abdullah should have just waited in the ring like he's supposed to. He didn't have to taunt him! Abdullah stumbles out and Jacob hooks him for a Brainbuster, but Abdullah drops behind him on the way over. He then nails Jacob in the back of the head with a forearm. As Jacob stumbles forward Abdullah hooks him for a Backdrop Suplex and plants him into the mat. COLE Abdullah with a good counter and now he's going for a cover! 1 No!! COLE Just a one count! COACH See Jacob's not so big and bad after all! COLE I never said he was. Abdullah is up first and he plants a knee into the gut of Jacob as he stands. He then whips Jacob across the ring and hits a Spinning Wheel Kick that takes Jacob back down. He then goes for another cover. 1 No!!! COLE Still just a one count! I think Abdullah is still disgusted by Cross. Look at him. Abdullah gets up quickly from the pin attempt and wipes the imaginary germs off of him in disgust. COACH Well look where Cross hangs out! There's not telling what kind of nastiness he has on him, and I don't think he ever showers! I walked past him backstage earlier and the smell was terrible!! COLE Will you stop!! As Jacob stands Abdullah comes in with a hard chop to Jacob's chest. He then fires in two more chops that back Jacob into a corner and then he goes to whip him across the ring. As Abdullah pulls him out Jacob reverses the whip and sends him crashing into the turnbuckles. Jacob then lays in a chop of his own, followed by a clubbing forearm to the chest that sends Abdullah crashing back into the corner. Jacob measures him and blasts him with a back elbow to the face before hooking his head and nailing a Bulldog out of the corner! COLE A bulldog by Cross and a pin attempt!! 1 2 No!! COACH That's not gonna get the job done!! Although Abdullah can't be in good shape after being that close to Cross's armpit!! Whew!!! COLE Oh you're just a riot tonight! Jacob grabs Abdullah by the arm as he stands and pulls him right into a Short Arm Clothesline that nearly knocks him for a loop! He then quickly hits the ropes and drops an elbow onto the sternum of Abdullah before making another cover. 1 2 No!!! Jacob pulls Abdullah to his feet as he stands, but before he can do anything Abdullah spits in Jacob's face! COLE Oh come on that's just insulting!! COACH That's probably the closest Jacob's come to taking a shower in a long time! Abdullah capitalizes on the momentary distracting and kicks Jacob in the gut. As Jacob doubles over Abdullah hops onto the second rope and bounces off, twists in the air, and nails a legdrop across the back of Jacob's neck. Jacob crashes face first into the mat and Abdullah is quickly up to the second turnbuckle before coming off with another Leg Drop to the back of Jacob's head!! COLE What quick moves by Abdullah!! COACH Wow! Jacob has to be out cold! Abdullah's making a cover this whole mess could be over! 1 2 No!!! COLE Jacob kicks out!! Abdullah waits for Jacob to stand and then goes for a Hurricanrana and takes him over! Jacob is up again, but this time Abdullah nails an Armdrag and goes for another cover. 1 2 No!!! COLE Abdullah is starting to take control and the fans aren't liking it. USA...USA....USA!!! COACH Yeah we're in the USA I got it!! ABDULLAH Shut up!!! Abdullah then waits for Jacob to stand again and nails him in the chest with a swift kick. He then goes into a flurry of high kicks that stun Jacob. COLE He calls this Revenge of the Nerdlys! COACH I call it effective! Jacob Cross isn't looking too good is he Cole!? The last kick sends Jacob back to the mat and Abdullah nails a standing Moonsault before going for a pin. 1 2 NO!!! COLE Jacob kicks out again! COACH I guess he wants another beating! Abdullah yells out something in Arabic and the fans boo so loudly that they drown him out. COACH You know what he said Cole? COLE No I don't, and since when do you speak Arabic? COACH I know a little. He said Canada and Syria...number one!! COLE Are you sure? COACH Positive! Abdullah readies himself as Jacob stands and then nails him with a clothesline that takes him over the top rope and to the outside. As he sees Jacob get to his feet he takes off running, jumps to the top rope, and flies off with a Flying Body Press....but Jacob catches him!!! He then takes a couple of steps back and Hot Shots him right onto the safety barrier!!! The impact echoes throughout the arena and the fans love it!!! COLE Oh my God!! COACH That should be a disqualification!!! Abdullah falls to the floor in pain as Jacob takes a second to rest. The ref admonishes Jacob for tossing Abdullah into the barrier, but Jacob ignores him. He slides in just long enough to break the ref's count and then slides back out. He then grabs Abdullah and hoists him into position for a Fall Away Slam. As Jacob goes for the move Abdullah breaks his legs free and twists himself until he takes Jacob over in an Armdrag. Jacob goes crashing right into the barrier and lands awkwardly on the back of his neck. COLE Oh wow!! Jacob could have injured himself there!! COACH You didn't seem concerned when Nerdly crashed into the barrier!! Abdullah gets up slowly and slides into the ring to break up the count before heading back out and to the time keeper's table. COLE What's he doing? Abdullah then grabs the cowboy hat, places it on his head and mocks Jacob, acting like a redneck dancing a little hoe-down. COACH Now that's funny!! COLE It's stupid! He then tosses the cowboy hat down and stomps it into the floor! BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! When he turns to fetch Jacob he's met with a surprise as Jacob pops up and begins nailing him with punches to the face and body. The flurry of punches has Abdullah stunned and Jacob winds up for one last big shot. He then nails him, sending him to the mat. COLE He calls that "One for the Road" I understand and he has just laid out Abdullah! COACH He needs to open up those fists!! COLE Oh come on who actually gets in trouble for closed fists in wrestling?? Jacob slides Abdullah back into the ring and then climbs in himself. He quickly goes to the second turnbuckle and comes off with a Leg Drop before going for a pin. 1 2 3!! No!! Abdullah kicked out!! COLE That was close! COACH The ref has lost control!! Jacob has come alive and looks pissed as he yanks Abdullah to his feet and whips him hard into the corner. Abdullah hits and slides into the sitting position. Jacob wastes no time in running to the corner and nailing Abdullah with a hard knee to the face!! COLE He could have broken Abdullah's jaw with that shot! Jacob is showing quite a mean streak! COACH Somebody stop him!! Abdullah is shaken, but Jacob isn't finished. He pulls him back up and into his arms for a Fall Away Slam and he hits it! COLE What a fall away slam. Cover!!! 1 2 3!! No!!! Abdullah kicks out again!! BOOOOOOOO!!! Jacob then pulls him right back to his feet and goes for the Dead End (Double Arm DDT). Abdullah fights with all his might and breaks an arm free and punches his way out. He then goes for the Devine Decree (Double Underhook Backbreaker), but Jacob reverses it into a Back Body Drop!! COLE Abdullah almost mounted a comeback there, but Jacob stopped him again and the fans are loving it. COACH Why would they cheer this smelly, drunk, redneck? COLE Well look who he's beating up. Abdullah gets back up and Jacob locks him in for the Tumbleweed (Exploder Powerslam) and he nails it! COLE Tumbleweed!! What a move! COACH Dammit! COLE Jacob goes for the cover. 1 2 3!!!! *DING DING DING* COLE What an impressive debut by Jacob Cross!! COACH Yeah I say he stinks. BUFFER Here's your winner. JACOB....CROSS!!!!! YEAHHHHH!!!!! COLE This man has a future here I can already tell you that. COACH He has a future in AA meetings if you ask me. COLE Enough already. Jacob takes what's left of his hat and his necklace and heads away from the ring as fans reach out to slap him on the back. Jacob looks at his destroyed hat and tosses it into the ring at Abdullah before raising his arms in the air. COLE Abdullah pissed him off and he paid the price. COACH Never piss off a drunk. COLE You just won't quit will you? COACH Never. While Cole laments the moron the fates have stuck him with he journey to... COMMERCIAL BREAK

So the voice over lied, because backstage we go, 'cut to' if you will, to the HeldDOWN~! interview stage where my favourite and yours too I'm sure MARIA is standing by. MARIA Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome... *reads card* ...uh, BOHEMOTH! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The crowd in the arena erupt, which apparantly Bohemoth can hear as he smiles a little upon walking into shot. Wrestling logic, gotta love it. Anyway, Bo's smile doesn't last long even with Maria around, Bo lowering his orange-tinted sunglasses as he turns over to her. MARIA Okay, at School's Out, you are going be wrestling... *reads card*... uh, Tha Puerto Rican! And, it's going to be in Hell In A Cell! Are you scared at all? BOHEMOTH Excuse me? MARIA Well... Hell In A Cell doesn't very fun. Infact, it sounds a little bit like hell. In a cell. ... BOHEMOTH You know what Maria, you're right. Hell In A Cell is gonna be just that. Hell. Hell for Tha Puerto Rican. You see, I'm sick and tired of PRL. I'm sick and tired of hearing his whiney voice. I'm sick and tired of his catchphrases. I'm sick and tired of him running rule over the OAOAST the past five years. And I'm especially sick and tired of all the times he's hit me over the head with a steel chair in the past few weeks! Ya see, it started out with me trying to get my 24/7 Title back. Then, it became about payback. Now... Bo lifts up his shades so his eyes pierce through the camera. BOHEMOTH Now, it's all about HURTING Tha Puerto Rican! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BOHEMOTH And since apparantly, the OAOAST has seen fit to keep us from coming into contact between now and School's Out, I'm gonna save up every beating I'd planned for him between now and May 27th. Until then... I'll happily bide my time. I'll keep my cool, for now. Because when May 27th rolls around and that padlock snaps shut behind you PRL, there will be no escape. It'll be just you and me. And trust me, I'm gonna take out every little bit of frustration I have on you. I'm going to take full advantage of the rare chance to get you to myself, with no Lightning Crew members around to save you. And I'm gonna take the opportunity with both hands to make you SUFFER! MARIA What about the X-Division Title? Do you still want it? BOHEMOTH Don't get me wrong Maria, main issue or not, I will take that title. And it'll be over PRL's dead body! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Bohemoth lowers his sunglasses again and strolls off, as we go back to Sofa Central. COLE Yikes. COACH How can these people cheer for that? That's a death-threat, Bohemoth should be fired on the spot before he hurts somebody! COLE I'm sure Popick'll get right on it. Fans, almost two weeks ago, we saw a match that will be talked about for years to come. On OAOAST Syndicated back on April 28th, Vitamin X, the Financial Consultant and Second-In-Command of The Lightning Crew took on Caboose, a former two-time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, and folks, the results weren't pretty. Both men bled, both men were hurt, and both men had a match that will NEVER be forgotten! COACH That's right, Mikey! What a night it was for The Lightning Crew! Cuban Wall successfully defended his 24/7 Title against Jamie O'Hara, PRL successfully retained his X-Division Title against Bohemoth, and Vitamin X came out of the shadows and showed the world how tough he really is when he took on Caboose and BEAT HIM fair and squared 1-2-3 without ANY one's help! What a great moment! COLE It certainly was THE highlight of Vitamin X's career thus far, and fans, tonight, just because we love our OAOAST fans very much, we will show you the ENTIRE Caboose vs. Vitamin X No Holds Barred Falls Count Anywhere Match from two weeks ago on OAOAST Syndicated uncut and unedited! COACH Just another reason WHY the OAOAST is so AWESOME! YEAH-UH~! Cole looks at Coach. COLE Quite. Anyway fans, before we show this match, we would like to warn you that the following match is very violent. There will be a lot of blood shed and weapon usage. If you have small children, it is recommended that they do not watch this match. COACH Just a little warning from the PR department. And oh yeah, kids, don't try this at all. ANY of it. COLE That's right Coach. So now, without any further ado, HERE is the complete uninterrupted match between Caboose and Vitamin X, No Holds Barred Falls Count Anywhere, from two weeks ago on the April 2007 edition of OAOAST Syndicated. Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura are on commentary. COACH Roll 'em! The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. *KA-CHING~!* *Come and take your Vitamin X.* *Bling bling Everytime I come into the city Bling bling Pinky ring worth about fifty Bling bling Everytime I buy a new ride Bling bling Lorenzos on Yokohama tires Bling bling Nigga I got these hoes iced up enough While my lil B.G.s on the bus puttin' out cigarette butts But me personally playboy I don't give a fuck And I'm a always show love to my cut Hit tha club light tha bitch up The Cash Money motto we got ta drank 'til we throw up Nigga point the hoe out guaranteed I can fuck Wootay I'm tattooed and barred up Medallion iced up Rolex bezelled up And my pinky ring is platinum plus Earrings be trillion cut And my grill be slugged up My heart filled with anger cuz nigga i don't give a fuck Stack my cheese up Cuz one day I'm a give this street life up Beef I don't discuss A nigga outta line gone get his muthafuckin' head bust Cash Money millionaires plus Don't touch sumin nigga you can't fuck Twenty inches TV's is a must By the year two thousand I'm gut out my bus A lil nigga seventeen playin' with six figures Got so much ice you can skate on a nigga When you see cash money you know you stay flossin' Catch cha girl down bad ya know we straight tossin' I ain't seen a click yet that can stunt like mine I ain't seen a marette that can run like mine 1999 And its our turn to shine Fifty or better on our wrist and they all blind Pourin' vodka 'til I die drank 'til I faint 'Til a nigga tell me I need another drank My nigga Baby told me work nigga trick to them hoes Nigga baby told me work nigga better than treatin yo nose I'm tha freak of tha click Keep it on tha tuck so I creep on a bitch And I play it on the raw never sleep with a bitch Keep it real with my niggas Never weep for a bitch Never weep for a bitch Bling bling Everytime I come into the city Bling bling Pinky ring worth about fifty Bling bling Everytime I buy a new ride Bling bling Lorenzos on Yokohama tires Bling bling* As "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys continues playing over the P.A. system, causing the crowd to boo loudly, The X-Man himself, Vitamin X comes out. VX does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, and then plays to the crowd, who respond to him the way they usually do. Vitamin X is carrying a garbage can filled with a garbage can lid, a cookie sheet, and a Kendo stick wrapped in barbed-wire. VX is wearing a silver baseball jersey that has the words VITAMIN X written on it in blue cursive font, VX written on the sleeves in blue blocky letters, and on the back it has "R.I.P. THE LEGEND OF CABOOSE" on top in big blue blocky letters, the OAOAST Syndicated logo in the middle, and "2002-2007" written underneath it. APRIL 28, 2007 is written underneath that. X is also wearing blue sweat pants with the OAOAST logo on the left pant leg, black Adidas sneakers, and black elbow pads. Dollar signs are superimposed over the entryway as Vitamin X begins his walk to the ring. SCHIAVONE Take a good look at his face. Because it might not be in that same condition ever again after this match is over. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a No Holds Barred, Falls Count Anywhere Match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first. Coming down the aisle. From Miami, Florida. Weighing in at 248 lbs. He is the Financial Consultant AND Second-In-Command of The Lightning Crew. VITAMINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN EXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX! Vitamin X has his eyes focused solely on the ring as he continues making his way to the squared circle. SCHIAVONE This is going to be a BIG one, fans! It's time for Vitamin X to put up or shut up! He's going into the ring tonight alone, and he is going to face an OAOAST Original! It's time for Vitamin X to show how much of a man he is tonight! VENTURA This is a match Vitamin X has waited for not since March, but since he began wrestling! He's never been looked at as a serious threat EVER! But after tonight is done, people will know what Vitamin X, the X-Man is all about! SCHIAVONE I see that so far Vitamin X has honored the stipulations. There are no other Lightning Crew members with him. He's going at this on his own! The way it should be! VENTURA X doesn't need any help tonight! He's confident! He knows he has Caboose right where he wants him! Now tonight, he's going in for the kill! Vitamin X jaws with some fans at ringside. He sets the garbage can full of weapons next to the ring and then climbs up the ring steps as "Bling-Bling" continues playing. Prince Vitamin hops onto the second turnbuckle and crosses his arms into a X. He looks at the jeering crowd with a serious expression on his face. Afterwards, Vitamin X hops off the turnbuckle and into the ring. He then grabs the garbage can o' weapons and sets it down on the mat. SCHIAVONE There's no Princess Stacey. No Cuban Wall. No Mr. Boricua. No Bone Thug. No Thomas Rodriguez. No Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. And no PRL. It's just Vitamin X and Caboose. And they have the whole arena at their disposal! One fall to a finish. No Holds Barred! VENTURA This is what professional wrestling is all about, Tony Schiavone! A good old fashioned grudge match! This is going to be a night Vitamin X AND Caboose will NEVER EVER forget! SCHIAVONE So much anticipation for this match. This has been building ever since Vitamin X confronted Caboose on the March 1st HeldDOWN~!. On that night, Vitamin X declared WAR on Caboose, and tonight, the war will end. Vitamin X, The X-Man, will go one-on-one with the two-time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion Caboose. For the first time...and quite possibly for the last time! VENTURA "First Time...Last Time...Only Time". That's the way this match has been marketed. And it may be true. We shall see! Vitamin X paces back and forth in the ring. No Shane-O-Mac Shuffle tonight. Vitamin X is all business. He grabs the Kendo stick wrapped in barbed-wire and stands near the ropes, staring at the entrance with the McMahon SNEER~! etched on his face. VENTURA He's ready, Schiavone! Vitamin X wants to make a name for himself, and THIS is his golden opportunity! SCHIAVONE How far will he go? How much pain will he endure? You got to think Vitamin X wants to beat Caboose as quick as possible! VENTURA Then again, he might want to hurt Caboose and administer PAIN for what's happened over the last two months! Tony, we might see a completely different side of Vitamin X tonight! Vitamin X holds the Kendo Stick like a baseball bat. He's still staring at the entrance. "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys dies down. SCHIAVONE Caboose has been in some memorable battles in the OAOAST. Tonight might be another classic! VENTURA He remembers what happened at AngleMania. He doesn't want a repeat tonight! But Vitamin X wants to finish what he started at AngleMania! BOTH men have something to prove tonight! SCHIAVONE Just who is the better man? Vitamin X vs. Caboose! No titles on the line! This one's all about RESPECT! And you're seeing it tonight on OAOAST Syndicated in primetime! CUE: "Cochise" by Audioslave "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH H HHHHHH!" Spotlights converge all over the arena. Once the bass and drums kick in, Caboose lowers from the rafters, garnering more and more cheers the closer he is to the ground. Finally, 'boose plants his feet near the entrance, drawing the loudest pop of the night thus far. At this point, Chris Cornell's voice is heard over the P.A. system. *I've been watching While you've been coughing I've been drinking life While you've been nauseous And so I drink to health While you kill yourself And I've got just one thing That I can offer Go on and save yourself And take it out on me Go on and save yourself And take it out on me Go on and save yourself And take it out on me Go on and save yourself And take it out on me Yeaaahhhhhhhhhh!* Caboose unhooks the safety apparatus from his chest. He then raises his trademark cricket bat over his head to another loud cheer. He then points the cricket bat at Vitamin X, whose expression doesn't change. 'boose then begins his walk across the entryway as "Cochise" continues playing. BUFFER And his opponent. From Derby, England. Weighing in at 225 lbs. He is a former two-time One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion. This...is...CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEE! *I'm not a martyr I'm not a prophet And I won't preach to you But here's a caution You better understand That I won't hold your hand But if it helps you mend Then I won't stop it Go on and save yourself And take it out on me Go on and save yourself And take it out on me Go on and save yourself And take it out on me Go on and save yourself And take it out on me Yeaaahhhhhhhhhh!* Caboose continues walking to the ring purposely and defiantly as the crowd cheers. SCHIAVONE Caboose is in his classic attire. He's got his tights, he's got his facepaint, and of course, he's got his cricket bat! Caboose is 100% ready for this match-up! VENTURA That cricket bat is legal! SCHIAVONE Indeed it is, Jess. Anything goes in this one! Falls Count Anywhere. They can go all over the arena for this one! VENTURA And they will. Vitamin X isn't afraid of Caboose! He's going to show the world just how much tougher he is than Caboose tonight on OAOAST Syndicated! Caboose stands near the ring and points the cricket bat at Vitamin X again. VX points to his Kendo Stick wrapped in barbed-wire. He talks trash to Caboose, who just stares. SCHIAVONE This won't be for the weak of heart. This won't be pretty. I bet the censors are going to go nuts over this one! VENTURA I'm sure there will be bleeding. I wouldn't be surprised if Caboose's white face is red by the time this match is over! SCHIAVONE They both might just bleed! Who knows what can happen in a match like this? One thing's for sure: it'll be better than anything the competition has put out this week! VENTURA Nice shot at our competition, Tony! SCHIAVONE Thanks, Jess. Caboose climbs the ring steps and then the second turnbuckle. He glares around the arena as the crowd cheers. 'boose then points the cricket bat at Vitamin X once again. He then hops off the second turnbuckle into the ring and makes a beeline for Vitamin X! VENTURA Uh-oh! Here we go! Vitamin X throws down the Kendo stick wrapped in barbed-wire and quickly grabs his garbage can full of weapons. VX begs for mercy, but Caboose keeps power walking towards him. SCHIAVONE I think Caboose is ready to start this match! Caboose swings the cricket bat! And only hits steel as Vitamin X held up the garbage can to block the shot! SCHIAVONE He almost took his head off! Caboose swings the cricket bat again...and only gets a garbage can! Caboose keeps on swinging, denting the garbage can in there process! Referee Jimmy Korderas calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* "First Time...Last Time...Only Time" NO HOLDS BARRED FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH CABOOSE vs. VITAMIN X (The Lightning Crew is barred from ringside) Caboose keeps hitting the garbage can until Vitamin X sticks the can onto the cricket bat. 'boose simply takes the garbage can and throws it over the top rope and onto the floor. That gives Vitamin X some time to escape, as he slips underneath the bottom rope causing the fans to boo! SCHIAVONE And Vitamin X is ALREADY leaving! VENTURA Hey, he's taking a breather! Let him get his mind back into this! Vitamin X catches his breath. However, he doesn't catch it for long as Caboose slides underneath the bottom rope and charges forward with the cricket bat...and only hits the stairs! Caboose turns around, his eyes full of RAGE~!, and charges forward, hitting only the barricade this time! Caboose keeps chasing after Vitamin X! He swings the cricket bat, but X moves out of the way, and Caboose hits the ring post! SCHIAVONE Caboose is chasing after Vitamin X like he's a killer in a slasher movie! VENTURA This ain't no movie, Tony! This is real life! Caboose continues his chase of Vitamin X, swinging the cricket bat wildly, while Prince Vitamin frantically tries to escape! Caboose swings the cricket bat for the hundredth time, but Vitamin X again moves out of the way, and Caboose nearly hits Michael Buffer in the process! VX runs around ringside, bumping into a cameraman along the way! SCHIAVONE Thank God we're up here. X trips and falls onto the protective mats. Caboose smiles an evil smile as he slowly walks over to where Vitamin X is lying. He raises the cricket bat over his head and says, "Now, I've got you!" But just then, VX gives Caboose a drop toehold, causing him to fall face-first onto the top ring step! VENTURA Great move by Vitamin X! SCHIAVONE He got lucky there! VENTURA Vitamin X using his brains to escape that predicament! That's why he's the Brains of Brains & Brawn. Caboose is kissing the top ring step. Vitamin X gets up and grabs the cricket bat. He raises it over his head and laughs manically. SCHIAVONE He's got it! Vitamin X has Caboose's weapon in his hands! VENTURA Oh, this won't be good! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X is in control! The crowd boos loudly. The X-Man does a little Shane-O-Mac Shuffle and then lifts the cricket bat over his head, hitting Caboose in the head with it! NO! Caboose grabs the cricket bat, blocking the shot! The OAOAST Original gets up, and continues blocking the shot from Vitamin X! SCHIAVONE Caboose and Vitamin X battling over control of the cricket bat! Both men use all their strength, but neither man can gain the advantage. They keep going back and forth, until the cricket bat comes closer and closer to X's face! Vitamin X keeps fighting, but the cricket bat is only an inch away from his face! So VX knees Caboose in the gut. But Caboose continues fighting, and soon the two men are walking around ringside holding the cricket bat. VENTURA They won't give up! They both want that cricket bat BADLY! SCHIAVONE That bat's a powerful weapon! We've seen what Caboose has done with it on many occasions! Caboose lies against the ring steps, with the cricket bat coming closer and closer to him. This causes the crowd to start chanting, "CA-BOOSE! CA-BOOSE! CA-BOOSE! CA-BOOSE!" At long last, Caboose pokes Vitamin X in his eyes and gets the cricket bat back! SCHIAVONE That move's as legal as a headlock in this match! VX staggers around ringside following the eyepoke. Caboose measures VX up, and then goes to swing the cricket bat-- *BAM!* Vitamin X BLASTS Caboose across the head with the dented garbage can! SCHIAVONE My God! I heard that all the way out here! VENTURA That just scrambled Caboose's brain! What's left of it anyway. The crowd groans watching that shot. Caboose wobbles, but he doesn't fall down. Instead, he rests on the ring apron. Prince Vitamin shakes the cobwebs out of his head, and then charges forward blasting Caboose over his head with the dented garbage can again! SCHIAVONE A second time! VENTURA Hey, two for the price of one show! I like it! Caboose stumbles, but he doesn't fall. He does, however, rest again the ring steps. By now, some of the facepaint has faded away. Vitamin X charges forward, hitting Caboose on top of his head with the garbage can AGAIN! SCHIAVONE Three times! Three times already! VENTURA Caboose can't even defend himself, he's so dazed! SCHIAVONE Caboose is in big trouble already in the early going! VITAMIN X BOO-YAH~! CROWD BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! X raises the dented garbage can over his head with a cocky smirk on his face. He walks all the way to the other side of the ring, and then rushes forward...but gets kicked in the face by Caboose! The X-Man stumbles, dropping the garbage can in the process. SCHIAVONE Caboose with a move right there! VENTURA That was a desperation move, Tony! Caboose now knows what he's getting himself into! Vitamin X collapses onto the ground. He crawls around ringside. *BAM!* Caboose hits Vitamin X over his head with the dented garbage can! SCHIAVONE And Caboose with some payback right there! VENTURA He got him good. But Vitamin X won't go down that easily! Caboose throws the dented garbage can aside. The crowd cheers. "KILL THE X-MAN!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* "KILL THE X-MAN!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* "KILL THE X-MAN!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* "KILL THE X-MAN!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* SCHIAVONE You know, there was a time when Caboose would get angry at these fans for chanting what they're chanting...but I think those days are long gone! VENTURA His opinion on Vitamin X has certainly taken a 180 in the past year hasn't it? SCHIAVONE Well, you could also say that Caboose finally realized the truth. VENTURA The truth is subjective in this case, Tony. The truth is subjective! Caboose cracks a half-smile, and then picks Vitamin X up and throws him back into the ring. 'boose starts stomping away on The X-Man, causing the Financial Consultant of The Lightning Crew to scream out in pain. Caboose then gets down on his hands and knees and starts choking Vitamin X with his bare hands! VX grabs at Caboose's long hair in response. VENTURA Come on ref, stop this! SCHIAVONE No Holds Barred, Jess! VENTURA But Caboose is going to kill him! SCHIAVONE ...And? VENTURA You're sick. You know that? You're sick! Caboose finally stops choking VX, and then gets up so that he can stomp him again. Caboose picks VX up and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. X bounces off the ropes, and Caboose kicks him in the gut, then bounces off the ropes himself so that he can hit X with a knee to the face! The crowd cheers. 'boose then takes a few steps back, and then charges forward, jumping up and down with an elbow into Vitamin X's face! Caboose goes for the cover! 1... 2... KICK OUT! VENTURA The X-Man ain't out of it just yet! He's still got some fight left in him! Caboose is disappointed, but he continues on. He waits for Vitamin X to lift his head off the canvas...so that he can punch him in the face, knocking him back down again! The former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion then chokes Vitamin X with his left foot! VENTURA Caboose has never been the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I think even he knows that killing him wouldn't be such a good idea! SCHIAVONE Caboose wants to torture Vitamin X! He wants to disfigure Vitamin X! Caboose lets go. He then bounces off the ropes, charges forward, and hits VX with a baseball slide which sends him out of the ring onto the floor! SCHIAVONE Oh my! That can't be good for your back! VENTURA No DUH, Schiavone! Vitamin X holds his back in the pain on the outside. Caboose exits the ring and picks X up, then gives him a swinging neckbreaker! 'boose then gets right back up and climbs the second rope! SCHIAVONE He's gonna fly? From there!? VENTURA He wouldn't dare. The crowd cheers loudly, but Vitamin X gets up and walks away, preventing any high-flying moves from happening. The crowd boos loudly. 'boose gets down from the second rope and chases Vitamin X across the aisle. Caboose grabs Vitamin X and scratches his eyes! He scratches VX's eyes again, but this time holds on. That is until Vitamin X grabs Caboose and gives him a back suplex in the entryway! SCHIAVONE Oh! His head bounced off the floor with that! VENTURA The X-Man strikes again! Everytime you think he's done for, he fights back! SCHIAVONE Since when!? VENTURA Since always, Tony! Both VX and Caboose hold their heads in pain. But then, X crawls over and covers Caboose. 1... 2... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! SCHIAVONE That wasn't it! Caboose is still alive! VENTURA He might not be for long, Schiavone! Vitamin X's face tells the story. His disappointment is quite obvious. VX slowly gets up, and Caboose slowly gets up a few seconds later. SCHIAVONE The referee's only here to count the pinfall, that's it! Anything goes! They can't be disqualified at all! The X-Man grabs Caboose by his neck and tries a backslide! It gets two! Both men get up at the same time. VX kicks Caboose in his gut, and then starts hitting him with the CLUBBERIN~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN'~! forearms to the back of the neck! VX kicks Caboose in the gut again, and then simply grabs him by his hair and slams him onto the floor! VENTURA Yeah, that'll work! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X simply THROWING Caboose onto the floor with that one! VENTURA Hey, if wrestling doesn't work, just fight dirty! That's what I always say! SCHIAVONE They can in this match! Caboose's eyes are glazed over as Vitamin X makes the cover. ONE! TWO! THRE--TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! SCHIAVONE Only two. Despite that sickening thud we heard just a few moments ago. The OAOAST Doubleshot Instant Replay shows Vitamin X throwing Caboose onto the floor. VENTURA I wouldn't want to be Caboose right about now! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X is in control once again. What's going to happen now? X is PISSED~! He picks 'boose up and gives him an European Uppercut. X then punches Caboose squared in the face! VX then grabs Caboose by his hair and tights and slams Caboose's head on the top ring step! VENTURA I saw some facepaint fly off right there! Vitamin X throws Caboose back into the ring, and then follows himself. VX grabs the cricket bat and stands up, his eyes focused on Caboose. SCHIAVONE X has got the bat once again! VENTURA He's ready to finish off Caboose right here, right now! With his own weapon! VX does the McMahon SNEER~! again. He then charges forward, lifting the cricket bat over his head-- --CABOOSE GRABS THE CRICKET BAT! SCHIAVONE What a save by Caboose! The crowd comes alive! Caboose fights to hold the cricket bat away from his face! Vitamin X and Caboose once again get into a battle over control of the cricket bat! VENTURA They've been fighting over that cricket bat all match, but neither one has actually USED it yet! SCHIAVONE It's not going to be pretty whoever gets the bat! The cricket bat is only a few inches away from Caboose's face. But then Caboose fights back, and now both men are holding the cricket bat right between the two of them! VITAMIN X COME ON! COME ON! COME ON! "CA-BOOSE!" "CA-BOOSE!" "CA-BOOSE!" "CA-BOOSE!" Finally, Caboose just kicks Vitamin X right in the nutsack! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" SCHIAVONE A little revenge from AngleMania VI there! Vitamin X clutches his special area and collapses onto the mat! The crowd cheers. X crawls around the ring while Caboose heads over to a turnbuckle to catch his breath. Once he does that, Caboose charges forward and hits Vitamin X with a lariat! VENTURA LARIA-TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! SCHIAVONE ... VENTURA What? I've always wanted to do that! Caboose then gets up and looks around for a weapon, finding one in the Kendo Stick wrapped in barbed-wire! VENTURA He's going to use the weapon Vitamin X brought into the ring! SCHIAVONE It makes sense! Vitamin X tried to use Caboose's cricket bat! The crowd cheers, knowing that the Kendo Stick is a weapon Vitamin X has used more than once, and are now greatly looking forward for the tables to be turned. 'boose jogs on over to a turnbuckle corner and holds the Kendo Stick, waiting for Vitamin X to get up. SCHIAVONE Caboose has got his eyes locked on Vitamin X! He's got Vitamin X's trademarked weapon in his hands! VENTURA X better look out! There's a man who hates him holding his weapon! And it's covered in barbed-wire! SCHIAVONE You say it as though there's more than one person who hates Vitamin X...and you'd be right! Caboose is motioning for Vitamin X to get back to his feet. VX is using the ring ropes to pull himself up. SCHIAVONE These fans are on their feet! VENTURA Caboose is not really going to do this, is he? X is on his right knee. He gets to a vertical base. X turns around... *THWACK!* AND GETS HIT IN THE HEAD WITH THE KENDO STICK WRAPPED IN BARBED-WIRE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH H HHHH!" SCHIAVONE Down goes The X-Man! Down goes The X-Man! Caboose raises the Kendo Stick over his head to LOUD cheers! He points the Kendo Stick at Vitamin X, and the crowd seems to be clamoring for more pain! SCHIAVONE That barbed-wire connected with Vitamin X's face! Indeed, as a small cut has appeared over Vitamin X's right eyebrow. Blood starts coming out of the cut as Vitamin X sits up in pain. VENTURA He's bleeding! He's bleeding! SCHIAVONE Indeed he is, Jess! Vitamin X has been busted open by his own weapon! VENTURA There goes his good looks! More and more blood comes out. Vitamin X is screaming out in pain! Caboose takes a few steps back, and then charges forward, jumping up and coming down with the Kendo Stick onto Vitamin X's face! SCHIAVONE ANOTHER one! Caboose is trying to disfigure Vitamin X now! VENTURA You sure the stipulations can't be lifted now? We need some help out here! SCHIAVONE No, Jess! This match has been going along smoothly thus far. VENTURA Smoothly for whom? SCHIAVONE Uh...the fans? VENTURA Shut up, Schiavone! Vitamin X can only see red now. The blood has covered the top half of Vitamin X's face! Caboose gets up and throws the Kendo Stick wrapped in barbed-wire aside. He stares at VX who is in the fetal position. Caboose punches Vitamin X in his face! He then does it again! And again! And again! And again! SCHIAVONE The blood is flowing! Vitamin X's jet black hair is turning red! Caboose picks Vitamin X up by his baseball jersey and starts hammering away at his face. VX is now dazed and confused and his face is red. SCHIAVONE The Financial Consultant and Second-In-Command of The Lightning Crew being beaten to a bloodied pulp! The punching causes Vitamin X to stagger all around the ring. But Caboose keeps on punching him and punching him! 'boose takes X to a turnbuckle corner and starts punching him in the face there. Caboose continues his rapid-fire punching, and then runs over to the opposite turnbuckle. He charges forward, hitting Vitamin X with a Stinger Splash! SCHIAVONE Stinger Splash from the OAOAST Original onto the bloodied Prince of The Lightning Crew! Caboose grabs Prince Vitamin by his (now) reddish hair and throws him down onto the mat. X is groggy and breathing hard on the mat. Caboose grabs the Kendo Stick and stalks Vitamin X in the ring. VENTURA I think he's starting to like this! SCHIAVONE Who knows what's going through his mind at this moment? The crowd is cheering loudly. Vitamin X is sitting up on the mat. Most of his face is covered in blood by now. Caboose kneels down and GRINDS the Kendo Stick across Vitamin X's forehead, making sure the barbed-wire is nice and tight on The X-Man's skin! SCHIAVONE Oh my God! Look at this! He's using that Kendo Stick like a cheese grater! VENTURA I bet Princess Stacey has stopped watching this match! She can't take it anymore! SCHIAVONE We said this wouldn't be pretty folks! VENTURA How are we getting away with this in primetime!? SCHIAVONE God bless shady politicians! VENTURA Can you imagine all the pain he's in? SCHIAVONE I don't want to imagine! Caboose finally lets go of X, and X crawls away. VITAMIN X No! No! No! No! No! Vitamin X rests his head on the second rope. He wipes some of the blood off of his face and is HORRIFIED at what he sees. VENTURA I don't think The X-Man has bled like THAT before! SCHIAVONE I don't think so either, Jess! Vitamin X is convulsing. He cannot believe what he just saw. SCHIAVONE He looks traumatized by looking at his own blood! And Caboose just makes it worst by once again GRINDING the Kendo Stick wrapped in barbed-wire across Vitamin X's forehead! SCHIAVONE Oh God! Oh God! VENTURA I can't believe he's actually doing this! SCHIAVONE Caboose wants this to be the last time he ever fights Vitamin X all right! Caboose lets go, and Vitamin X nearly falls out of the ring, he's so weakened. Caboose pulls X back into the ring by his sweat pants. He then removes Vitamin X's customized baseball jersey and then rips off X's white Lightning Crew T-shirt underneath, revealing Vitamin X's less-than-stellar physique. SCHIAVONE Well, now we know why he wears a shirt all the time. VENTURA Hey leave him alone! He's been busy lately! He hasn't had time to go to the gym! You try being the Financial Consultant to the most powerful group in wrestling and a wrestler at the same time! Caboose grabs the Kendo Stick wrapped in barbed-wire again. VENTURA That's enough with that Kendo Stick! Caboose places the Kendo Stick wrapped in barbed-wire in between Vitamin X's legs, right on his crotch! SCHIAVONE Oh boy. VENTURA Oh no! The crowd senses trouble too, and cheer to show their approval. Vitamin X's eyes are glazed over, so he has no idea what's about to happen to him. VENTURA This is insane! SCHIAVONE That's why he wants to do this! Caboose grabs Vitamin X's legs, and then gives him a legdrop right onto the Kendo Stick wrapped in barbed-wire! "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH H HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" VENTURA JESUS CHRIST! SCHIAVONE OH MY GOD! The crowd can't believe it either! Vitamin X YELPS in pain! Caboose just stares at X grabbing his buffalo shot in agony. SCHIAVONE I think Caboose did that to make sure Prince Vitamin and Princess Stacey have no children! VENTURA The crown jewels have been damaged! Who's going to be the heir to the heir to the throne now!? VITAMIN X OH GOD! OH MY GOD! MY NUTS! MY NUTS! MY NUTS! The crowd points and laughs at Vitamin X. Referee Jimmy Korderas asks if Vitamin X wants to give up, but X says, "NO!" SCHIAVONE I don't think Vitamin X will ever feel the same down there ever again! "CA-BOOSE!" "CA-BOOSE!" VENTURA These fans are really digging this match! SCHIAVONE The thousands in attendance are on their feet! They feel the end is near for Vitamin X! VENTURA It's not! Vitamin X can pull through! I don't know how, but he can pull through! Caboose grabs the cookie sheet that Vitamin X brought into the ring. He pulls Vitamin X up by his hair. VX can barely stand. *WHACK!* Caboose hits Vitamin X over the head with the cookie sheet! There's a giant dent in the cookie sheet now! SCHIAVONE Another hard shot in a series of them tonight! Caboose goes for the cover! 1...2....KICK OUT! 'boose eyes the referee angrily before getting up. SCHIAVONE Caboose hasn't said a word. He's remained 100% focused on this match. VENTURA He's gotta think of something REALLY good, Tony! Because Vitamin X is showing us he will not go down easily! Caboose leaves the ring. He lifts up the ring apron and searches underneath the ring for something. He pulls out a plywood sheet covered in barbed-wire! SCHIAVONE Oh my...Oh my...My--My God! VENTURA I don't believe it! SCHIAVONE Is that thing for real!? VENTURA Of course it is, Tony, you idiot! The crowd EXPLODES with cheers. Caboose holds the barbed-wire plywood sheet up for the fans to see. VENTURA All that barbed-wire! How did he sneak that thing into the arena!? SCHIAVONE I don't know! I've never seen something like that in my entire life! There's gotten be dozens upon dozens of barbed-wire wrapped in that plywood sheet! Caboose slides the barbed-wire plywood sheet into the ring. "HO-LEE SHIT!" "HO-LEE SHIT!" "HO-LEE SHIT!" "HO-LEE SHIT!" SCHIAVONE My thoughts exactly. Vitamin X lies on the mat. Caboose walks on over to where Vitamin X is laying. He picks X up. VENTURA Uh-oh! He's in trouble! SCHIAVONE There's a bunch of barbed-wire in the ring and Vitamin X is weak. This won't be too hard to figure out. Caboose punches Vitamin X! Vitamin X stumbles, but doesn't fall! Caboose punches Vitamin X again! VX stumbles close to the barbed-wire plywood sheet, but he doesn't fall! Caboose punches Vitamin X a third time. X *almost* falls, but is still on his own two feet! Caboose bounces off the ropes...and gets hit in the face with salt! VENTURA That's classic cheating right there! Vitamin X immediatley scoops Caboose up. He then slams him on top of the barbed-wire plywood sheet! SCHIAVONE OH MY GOD! VENTURA Caboose just got a thousand piercings on his back! The crowd is in SHOCK! Caboose screams out in pain as the barbed-wire pierces his back. He manages to shift to his side, and the camera does a close-up of the blood coming out of his back! He rolls off the plywood sheet, still screaming. "HO-LEE SHIT!" "HO-LEE SHIT!" "HO-LEE SHIT!" "HO-LEE SHIT!" Blood is now on the mat. Vitamin X is laughing manically. He gets down on his hands and knees and taunts Caboose, bloodied face and all. VENTURA Look at that! He's badmouthing him! SCHIAVONE No matter what type of match he's in, Vitamin X always has time to run his mouth! VENTURA That's why he's one of the greats today! VX pulls Caboose further away from the plywood sheet covered in barbed-wire and covers him, hooking his right leg! 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WRONG! KICK OUT! SCHIAVONE He kicked out! By God, he kicked out! VENTURA This match has already taken a toll on them, and they're STILL fighting! SCHIAVONE They both want to win. They both want to show just how tough they really are! Vitamin X especially wants to show the world that he's more than just a member of The Lightning Crew! He's a real wrestler! VENTURA He doesn't have to go through this to prove that! He's already got my seal of approval! Vitamin X can't believe it. By now, the blood has dried on his face. He mouths "Son of a bitch!" and then picks Caboose up. VX starts punching him in the face! Punch! Punch! Shane-O-Mac Shuffle! Punch! VENTURA Ha ha! He's still got it in him! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X getting cocky. VENTURA He said we would see a different side of him tonight. And we have. VX picks up the barbed-wire plywood sheet and sets it up against a turnbuckle. SCHIAVONE More!? They want to use more of that *thing*!? VENTURA I think the blood loss is affecting his thinking, Tony Schiavone! VX has the plywood sheet set up perfectly, so he walks on over to where Caboose is. VX grabs Caboose by his left arm and gives him a whip--NO! Caboose holds on! X kicks Caboose in his gut, and then punches him in the face several times. He grabs Caboose by his left arm and gives him a whip--Caboose refuses to let go. VX punches Caboose again as the camera does a close-up of Caboose's bloodied back. Vitamin X grabs Caboose by his left arm and gives him a whip--Caboose reverses--VX reverses--and Caboose hits the barbed-wire plywood sheet left shoulder first! SCHIAVONE GAH~! Caboose's left arm is stuck to the barbed-wire. So Vitamin X decides to make things worse by hitting Caboose with a dropkick! Caboose is squished further into the barbed-wire! 'boose then collapses onto the mat, his left shoulder COMPLETELY bloodied! SCHIAVONE .... VENTURA Wow. You don't know what to say! Vitamin X gets right back up. He takes a deep breath, and then throws the barbed-wire plywood sheet right onto Caboose's left arm! VENTURA My...God. Caboose screams in pain some more! The crowd boos Vitamin X loudly! "X'S A PUSS-SEE!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* "X'S A PUSS-SEE!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* "X'S A PUSS-SEE!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* "X'S A PUSS-SEE!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* VENTURA Are they watching the same match I am!? SCHIAVONE They DESPISE Vitamin X, Jesse! They don't want him to win under any circumstances! VENTURA Hey, Caboose brought that weapon into the ring! It's his own fault! SCHIAVONE Doesn't give the right for Vitamin X to use it the way he did! VENTURA Anything goes in this match, Tony! SCHIAVONE Darn, you're right. VENTURA Score one for "The Body"! Jimmy Korderas tries to pull the barbed-wire plywood sheet off of Caboose, but Vitamin X tells him to scram, he'll do it himself. VX does indeed pull the barbed-wire plywood sheet off of Caboose, revealing Caboose's bloodied left arm. The crowd boos Vitamin X loudly. They chant for Caboose. VX leaves the ring and lifts up the ring apron to search for something. He comes out with a white bag. SCHIAVONE Now what? X throws the white bag into the ring, and then follows. X looks at Caboose, who is starting to get up, and smiles evilly. Prince Vitamin unties the white bag and then turns it upside down to reveal the contents of the bag. THUMBTACKS! SCHIAVONE Oh good. Just what this match needed! Vitamin X pours the bag of thumbtacks all around an area of the ring as Caboose continues getting up. X kicks some thumbtacks into place and then waits for Caboose to get to his feet. VENTURA This won't be pretty! Look at Caboose! His back, his left arm are bloodied! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X might be trying to bloody ANOTHER body part! Caboose uses the ropes to pull himself up. Blood is now on Vitamin X's chest. Vitamin X is tired of waiting, so he grabs Caboose and kicks him in the gut. X punches 'boose in the face several times. VENTURA I don't think either man knows what it feels like to have thumbtacks stuck to your body! SCHIAVONE One of them will find out now! Vitamin X continues punching Caboose in the face while the crowd buzzes in anticipation. They chant for Caboose. VX grabs Caboose, and lifts him up onto his shoulders. The crowd boos. SCHIAVONE The X-Clamation Point! He's going for The X-Clamation Point! VX holds Caboose in the air in a Torture Rack position. X screams out that Caboose is "FINISHED!" The X-Man stands next to the bed of thumbtacks, and then throws Caboose off of his shoulders, giving him a neckbreaker-- NO! Caboose lands on his feet behind Vitamin X! Caboose grabs Vitamin X and lifts him up in a back suplex position... AND THEN THROWS HIM ONTO THE THUMBTACKS~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111 "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH H HHHHHHHHHHHHH!" SCHIAVONE & VENTURA ......................................... Vitamin X is HORRIFIED! He rolls around the bed of thumbtacks, screaming the loudest he's possibly screamed in his entire life! SCHIAVONE I don't believe it! I can't believe it! Did I just see what I just saw!?!? VENTURA You did Tony! Vitamin X! Those thumbtacks! He's not wearing any shirt! And there's no forcefield over his body! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X is lying in a bed of thumbtacks! In all my years of wrestling, I have NEVER seen something like what I just saw! VX sits up. He screams even more when he sees a few of the thumbtacks are stuck on his chest! And not just that, but they're covering his fingers too! The camera does a closeup of X's back, now mostly covered in thumbtacks! VITAMIN X They're in the bone! They're in the bone! SCHIAVONE They're on his back! He's a human pin cushion! VENTURA Somebody get Princess Stacey away from the TV right now! She should NOT under any circumstances see this! X takes off some of the thumbtacks from his right arm, which allows the blood to start coming out. X is shaking in the ring, looking traumatized by what just happened. SCHIAVONE I see some thumbtacks on the back of his sweat pants! They're covering his sneakers! How much pain is he in right now!? Vitamin X is on his knees, in horrendous pain. The crowd cheers loudly. Caboose picks Prince Vitamin up and rolls him up! ONE~! TWO~! KICK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" VENTURA It's not over! It's STILL not over! SCHIAVONE How is that possible!? How could Vitamin X possibly kicked out after THAT!? VENTURA Vitamin X is showing the world just how tough he is tonight! Everyone underestimating him only adds more fuel to the fire! Caboose, left arm covered in blood, mouths, "Shit!" Meanwhile, Vitamin X frantically pulls some of the thumbtacks from his hands. But his back is still covered with them! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X found the strength to kick out! I'm shocked! VENTURA I'm not Tony! SCHIAVONE You're alone then, Jess! These fans can't believe it either! Caboose sits up. The crowd cheers. Vitamin X is still pulling the thumbtacks from his hands. He looks at Caboose saying, "You're crazy!" Then, The X-Man slides underneath the bottom rope and leaves the ringside area while STILL pulling thumbtacks out of his hands! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X is leaving! VENTURA He's going to get those damn thumbtacks off of his body! I don't blame him for wanting to leave now! SCHIAVONE This match has no countouts! There must be a winner! VENTURA Who cares about that now? For crying out loud, HE HAS THUMBTACKS ON HIS BACK! SCHIAVONE I don't think Caboose cares how Vitamin X is feeling right now. Apparently not, because Caboose leaves the ring and punches Vitamin X in the back! VENTURA UGH! Vitamin X trips, but gets back up and runs away, with Caboose right behind him! VX tries to beg off, but Caboose power walks closer and closer to him. So, VX decides to climb the scaffolding that's holding up the AngleTron! The crowd cheers, hoping for a nasty fall. SCHIAVONE Look at this! Vitamin X is climbing the scaffolding! VENTURA And his hands are still covered with thumbtacks! Vitamin X doesn't get far, however, as Caboose grabs X by the waist band of his sweat pants and pulls him off the scaffolding onto the floor, with VX landing with a sickening THUD! CROWD GROAN! SCHIAVONE Oh my! That had to hurt! VENTURA Gee, you think! X lies on the floor, not moving. His blood shot eyes are looking right up at the ceiling. Caboose just stares at X with contempt on his face. SCHIAVONE Those thumbtacks are STILL in his back! VENTURA That just made that fall a thousand times worst! Vitamin X still hasn't moved. The crowd cheers. Jimmy Korderas checks on VX. He calls for some help. SCHIAVONE This match has gotten out of control! VENTURA It's been out of control ever since the bell rang, Tony! These two have been going at it like beasts! EMTs come out to check on Vitamin X. X starts moving his arms. SCHIAVONE He's been pierced and punctured! And then he took that NASTY fall! An instant replay shows Vitamin X's fall onto the floor. VENTURA And those thumbtacks are STILL on his back! I have no idea the pain Vitamin X is going through right now! SCHIAVONE Nobody should go through what Vitamin X is going through. His career, not to mention his LIFE will never be the same after this match! Referees Tim White, Mickey Jay, Charles Robinson, and Mike Chioda come out and tell Caboose to go to the back. Caboose leaves. But then changes his mind and attacks Tim White, Mickey Jay, Charles Robinson, and Mike Chioda! VENTURA He's striking referees now! SCHIAVONE Well, even though it's No Holds Barred, I can't really condone that. VENTURA Damn right! The crowd cheers loudly as Caboose climbs the scaffolding himself! VENTURA What? What the--? SCHIAVONE He's climbing that mechanism himself! VENTURA The hell? 'boose climbs higher and higher until he's near the AngleTron! The crowd cheers LOUDER! SCHIAVONE What is he doing!? What is he doing!? The EMTs and Jimmy Korderas try to get Caboose off of the scaffold, but it doesn't work. SCHIAVONE He's not gonna... VENTURA No... SCHIAVONE No way! This is career suicide! VENTURA I guess he hates Vitamin X this much! Caboose jumps off the scaffolding, doing a FROG SPLASH onto Vitamin X! SCHIAVONE OneWayTicket! OneWayTicket! Caboose with the OneWayTicket, his version of the Frog Splash, onto Vitamin X! VENTURA HOLY SHIT! The crowd can't believe it! Caboose stays on top of Vitamin X, covering him! Caboose hooks VX's legs! He orders Jimmy Korderas to make the count. 1... 2... 2 1/2 2.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 KICCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCHIAVONE No! No! No! THAT STILL WASN'T ENOUGH! VENTURA I tell ya, this kid even surprises ME! And that doesn't happen very often! The crowd boos, thinking that was the finish. Caboose is shocked himself, but Jimmy Korderas puts up two fingers and that's final. SCHIAVONE Where did he find the strength to kick out? VENTURA I don't know. Vitamin X must be superhuman! Maybe that's why they call him The X-Man! SCHIAVONE You see the blood on Vitamin X's arms. His back still covered in thumbtacks! The toll this match has taken on X will be felt for years and years to come! Caboose stands up, a little wobbly. He argues with the referee, but Jimmy Korderas still insists it was only a two count. 'boose curses under his breath, and walks around, getting the blood rushing through his veins again. Meanwhile, Vitamin X is still on the floor, breathing hard, but the bleeding has stopped. VENTURA Caboose is wondering what's it going to take? How much more punishment must Vitamin X endure? HOW MUCH MORE!? The crowd chants, "CA-BOOSE! CA-BOOSE! CA-BOOSE! CA-BOOSE!" Caboose slowly picks up Vitamin X, who is almost knocked out, and drags him by his reddish hair back to the ring, punching him in the face along the way. VX manages to remove some of the thumbtacks from his body, leaving behind blood stains. Caboose throws Vitamin X underneath the bottom rope. SCHIAVONE And we're back in the ring. VENTURA And those thumbtacks are STILL there! SCHIAVONE Yes they are. And somehow I doubt Caboose is going to just leave them there unused! Caboose picks Vitamin X up. EndOfTheLine! SCHIAVONE This is how this whole feud started! VENTURA And this might be how it ends! Caboose covers X, hooking his left leg. The crowd counts along. CROWD ONE! TWO! THREE! AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! SCHIAVONE And THAT wasn't it, either! Caboose sits up, and immediatley mouths, "DAMN!" The crowd starts booing. SCHIAVONE Caboose has to be absolutely frustrated! VENTURA Frustrated? He's gotta be shocked! Can you believe the endurance of Vitamin X? SCHIAVONE No I cannot. VENTURA Can you believe what he's withstood? What he's endured? SCHIAVONE We're certainly seeing a different side of Vitamin X here tonight. Caboose slowly gets back to his feet. He's breathing hard. Half of his facepaint is gone. 'boose runs his hands through his hair. He then slowly walks over to where the plywood sheet covered in barbed-wire is and picks it up, setting it against a turnbuckle corner. SCHIAVONE Caboose looking to inflict more damage with that board! VENTURA He's still up! I can't believe it either! SCHIAVONE We all know Caboose. If Caboose is breathing, he's fighting! VENTURA He might not be breathing for long if this keeps up! Caboose has set the barbed-wire plywood sheet up against the turnbuckle. He then walks over to grab Vitamin X who is resting on the outside. *THWACK!* Vitamin X hits Caboose in the face with the Kendo Stick wrapped in barbed-wire! VENTURA He got him right between the eyes! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X has struck back with that Kendo Stick! VENTURA Wrapped in barbed-wire! That's HIS weapon! Caboose covers his face. Vitamin X twirls his Kendo Stick a little bit before heading back into the ring. Caboose gets up, and a cut appears over his forehead. SCHIAVONE We have more blood! As though this match needed it! Caboose is bleeding from the forehead in addition to his left arm and back! VENTURA Both of these men could donate enough blood for 8 people by now! SCHIAVONE Maybe 20 people too! Caboose is slowly back to his feet. He charges forward, and gets hit in the gut with the Kendo Stick wrapped in barbed-wire! SCHIAVONE Goodness gracious! The crowd groans as the barbed-wire pierces Caboose's skin. VX has a little trouble pulling the barbed-wire out of Caboose's stomach! But when he does, he continues on, hitting the Kendo Stick into Caboose's bloodied back! Caboose falls to the mat, but X is not done yet, hitting 'boose in the back with the Kendo Stick again! And a third time! And a fourth time! A a FIFTH time! X does some faux-Kung Fu style twirling with the Kendo Stick, drawing boos! SCHIAVONE The OAOAST Legend is down! He is flat on his stomach! His face is a mixture of white face paint and red blood! This is the most punishment Caboose has taken in a match in a LONG time! VENTURA Caboose will never forget what Vitamin X has done to him, and I bet that's what Vitamin X wanted all along! VX throws the barbed-wire Kendo Stick aside. He slowly walks around the ring. X tries to do the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, but his back hurts too much he can't do it. VENTURA Look at that! Caboose has taken away his ability to do the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle! SCHIAVONE Good. Maybe he'll stop doing it then! VENTURA Oh come on! That's crossing the line there, Tony! That's gone too far! SCHIAVONE Oh Jess, calm down! VX walks around the ring some more, trying to recover as quick as possible. Then, he walks on over to Caboose and picks up the bloodied, battered OAOAST Original. X saids something to 'boose's face, and then turns him around. X lifts Caboose up onto his shoulders---Caboose lands right on his feet! Caboose turns Vitamin X around, grabs him... EMERALD FUSION~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111 NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Vitamin X delivers a low-blow to Caboose! SCHIAVONE That is absolutely legal. You can't complain about that! VENTURA You're right. For a change. Caboose's face is now covered in blood. Vitamin X lifts Caboose onto his shoulders into a Torture Rack position. He holds Caboose up on his shoulders for a few seconds...before throwing him off of his shoulders, giving him a neckbreaker on the way down! THE X-CLAMATION POINT~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 SCHIAVONE The X-Clamation Point! He hit it! VENTURA That's the X-Clamation Point for this match! Vitamin X and Caboose both lie on the mat while the crowd stands up in shock. Both combatants are bloodied, battered, and breathing hard. Jimmy Korderas checks on the two men. SCHIAVONE Vitamin X hit it! He hit his finishing move! VENTURA I knew he would! He's going to do it! He's going to pull off the upset! Nobody saw it coming! That's gotta be it! Vitamin X raises his left hand in the air. He slowly turns to his side. He uses some more of his strength to push himself up. Prince Vitamin crawls over to Caboose's carcass, his face no longer white but completely red, and makes the cover, hooking Caboose's left leg. Jimmy Korderas counts. 1... 2... 2 1/2 2.9999999999999999999999999999999999 3--LEFT SHOULDER UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! VENTURA UNBELIEVABLE! SCHIAVONE CABOOSE KICKED OUT! HE KICKED OUT OF THE X-CLAMATION POINT! VENTURA How did he do that!? I thought he was done far! SCHIAVONE So did these fans! The fans cheer loudly. Vitamin X's mouth is agape. X, the blood on his face dried, sits up, stunned. Caboose sits up as well, the blood still flowing from the cut on his forehead. Caboose crawls over to where his cricket bat is at and grabs it. VENTURA He's going for the bat, Schiavone! SCHIAVONE The bat's certainly done some damage in this match thus far! Caboose uses the ring ropes to pull himself up, while holding the cricket bat with his left hand. Vitamin X is slowly getting up. SCHIAVONE A collision is about to happen! That cricket bat is going to cause some pain, I'm sure it will! VENTURA Caboose is going to use that cricket bat on Vitamin X like he would use it while actually playing cricket! SCHIAVONE This match is about to get a whole lot more violent I think! VENTURA This isn't a match, it's a war! Caboose gets to a vertical base. He has trouble standing up. 'boose grabs hold of the cricket bat with both his hands and waits for Vitamin X to get up too. When he does, Caboose takes a swing with the cricket bat. BLOCKED! Vitamin X takes the cricket bat away from Caboose... AND BREAKS IT OVER HIS RIGHT KNEE! SCHIAVONE Oh my God! VENTURA That's symbolism, Tony! Vitamin X is finishing off Caboose's career! Caboose is shocked! That gives Vitamin X enough time to sandwich Caboose's head in between the two pieces of the cricket bat! VENTURA Oh! That's a new one! Caboose covers his ears in pain and stumbles around the ring. Vitamin X throws the two pieces of the cricket bat onto the mat. Vitamin X then grabs Caboose and lifts him up onto his shoulders again in a Torture Rack position. VENTURA He's going for it! He's going to do it again! Vitamin X parades around the ring with Caboose on his shoulders. X has a look of RAGE~! on his face. He yells out a battle cry before throwing the weakened Caboose off his shoulders and giving him a neckbreaker on the way down! Caboose's back lands on the top half of the cricket bat! SCHIAVONE The X-Clamation Point! VENTURA On the cricket bat! How's that for irony? Vitamin X quickly covers Caboose, hooking both legs. Jimmy Korderas counts. 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (21:02) SCHIAVONE It's over! By George, it's over! VENTURA He did it! He finally did it! The crowd is surprised that that's the finish. "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys starts playing. Vitamin X lies on top of Caboose, breathing a sigh of relief. BUFFER Here is your winner...VITAMINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN EXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO O OOOO!" The X-Man rolls off of Caboose and gets his hand raised by Jimmy Korderas. X lies on the mat for a few more minutes while his theme song continues playing. VENTURA The Legend Killer lives! The X-Man has beaten the OAOAST Original! He has beaten Caboose 1-2-3 in the middle of the ring! SCHIAVONE Uh-huh. And he didn't need anybody's help. The Lightning Crew adhered to the stipulation. He did it on all his own, fair and squared. He used his natural ability, his brains, and some weapons to put Caboose down for the count. Vitamin X proved to all of us tonight just how much of a man he really is! VENTURA He did it! He has finally shown the world just how great he is! SCHIAVONE And maybe, just maybe, he has gotten Caboose's RESPECT! VENTURA He better had. Or else Vitamin X might beat him up some more! VX rolls across the ring to the ring apron. The blood has stopped flowing all over his body, but he is still in tremendous pain. X wipes some blood off his forehead and then chuckles, happy over his victory. Caboose is still lying on the mat. SCHIAVONE We said this would be a night Vitamin X would never forget, and I'm sure he won't! This was the most brutal, most violent, most FIERCE match Vitamin X has ever been in! The bloodied Financial Consultant of The Lightning Crew took EVERYTHING Caboose gave him and after two X-Clamation Points, the second of which was on a piece of the cricket bat, the X-Man, the Second-In-Command of The Lightning Crew, came out the victor in what will go down as the biggest win of his career thus far! VENTURA People will look at Vitamin X differently from now on. Before he was just PRL's lackey. After tonight, he IS a SUPERSTAR! SCHIAVONE Well, you could certainly say he earned it. He worked hard for this victory. VENTURA He sure did, Tony! He sure did! Cuban Wall and Princess Stacey come out. Cuban Wall checks on his regular tag team partner, while Princess Stacey gives Prince Vitamin a hug and a kiss. Stacey's eyes are watery as she hugs her boyfriend some more. SCHIAVONE There's Cuban Wall, Vitamin X's partner in Brains & Brawn. VENTURA And there's Princess Stacey! Look at her! She's horrified! She can't believe what her Prince went through in that match! She's cuddling him like a puppy! SCHIAVONE Another BIG victory for The Lightning Crew tonight on OAOAST Syndicated! VENTURA Tha Puerto Rican must be VERY pleased with this match! VERY much so! "Bling-Bling" continues playing as Cuban Wall and Princess Stacey help the weakened Vitamin X off the ring apron onto the floor. Wall and Princess Stacey help Vitamin X walk back to the entrance. Cuban Wall swats at any fan trying to touch X, while Princess Stacey goes back and forth between being happy for her man's victory, while at the same time being worried for his health. Vitamin X, despite being in horrible, horrible pain, still finds the strength inside of him to raise his right hand in victory. Cuban Wall takes some of the thumbtacks off of Vitamin X's back. VENTURA I don't think this is so much a congratulations as it's picking up the pieces, so to speak. SCHIAVONE Vitamin X's body went through SO much damage in this one match! He might have cut a few years off of his career! VENTURA But at least his career will continue! I'm not so sure about Caboose's career now! SCHIAVONE You know, you may be right. I think Caboose's comeback has been cut short tonight! VENTURA And if it has, then Mission: Accomplished! Caboose sits up. The crowd cheers. 'boose breathes a heavy sigh of sadness. VENTURA Look at Caboose. It was his own cricket bat. The same cricket bat he has used for five years now! It was THAT weapon that led to his downfall! It was the one thing he thought could take out Vitamin X. It was THAT weapon that spelled his doom! It's very Hollywood-like in it's irony. SCHIAVONE Vitamin X picked up the pinfall on a former two-time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! He is STILL on his feet, while Caboose is only now starting to get up. This has to be considered a major upset tonight on OAOAST Syndicated in primetime! He will never forget this day, no doubt about that! When you ask Vitamin X what he did on Saturday April 28, 2007, he's going to tell you, 'I beat Caboose in a No Holds Barred Falls Count Anywhere Match!' Cuban Wall chuckles a little as he, Vitamin X, and Princess Stacey continue their walk back to the entrance. All Vitamin X can say is "Uhhhhhhhh....". Caboose is up and raising his hands, a defeated man. The crowd still gives him a standing ovation. VENTURA What a match. What a FIGHT is more like it! But look at Vitamin X. He's going to need the best plastic surgery money can buy! Luckily he has the money that can buy the best plastic surgery in the world! I mean, look at what he went through in this match! The OAOAST Syndicated logo flashes across the screen. Cut to replays of the match, starting with Caboose throwing Vitamin X into the bed of thumbtacks. SCHIAVONE Vitamin X fought on, even after getting thrown into those thumbtacks. His back was literally COVERED in thumbtacks! VENTURA Oh, that's so painful to watch! His back, his arms, his feet! Jesus Christ, that had to be painful! Cut to Caboose doing the OneWayTicket onto Vitamin X from the scaffolding. SCHIAVONE Then Caboose threw Vitamin X onto the cold hard concrete, and followed that up by going up the scaffolding himself and jumping off with the OneWayTicket, a move we haven't seen in quite a while! VENTURA Caboose probably pushed those thumbtacks FURTHER into X's back! He had no shirt on. His body took ALL of that! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X felt 225 lbs. crashing onto him with no mat underneath him! That was just bare concrete! Cut to Caboose trying to hit Vitamin X with the cricket bat, but X grabbing the bat and breaking it over his right knee. Then following it up by giving Caboose the X-Clamation Point. SCHIAVONE And then, came the ending. Caboose looked to use his trusty cricket bat like he's done countless times before. But Vitamin X was ready this time. He grabbed the bat and BROKE it over his knee! Then use the broken pieces as a new weapon, then giving Caboose the X-Clamation Point, with Caboose's bare back hitting part of the cricket bat! VENTURA That was symbolism, Tony Schiavone! Vitamin X was symbolically ending Caboose's career by breaking his cricket bat! That one bat has hurt every OAOAST superstar, Zack Malibu, CWM, Stephen Joseph Popick, Alfdogg! That one bat was BROKEN by Vitamin X! Doesn't that say something!? SCHIAVONE Uh... VENTURA Yes it does. Vitamin X was the biggest threat Caboose has ever faced! And on this night, Vitamin X proved once and for all that he is BETTER than Caboose! SCHIAVONE It was indeed The X-Man's night! He showed the world what he was truly made of, and I think every OAOAST fan watching will never forget the image of Vitamin X being thrown into the thumbtacks! VENTURA Or Vitamin X giving Caboose the X-Clamation on that piece of the cricket bat. SCHIAVONE Yes. That too. VENTURA Most definitely. Cuban Wall, Vitamin X, and Princess Stacey stop at the entrance. Cuban Wall taunts the fans since Vitamin X is unable too. Princess Stacey smiles evilly. Vitamin X just holds onto Stacey and cracks a weak smile. The fans boo loudly. Caboose is being helped by the EMTs in the ring. SCHIAVONE What a war. VENTURA Both men are battle scarred. This match has taken a toll on the both of them mentally and physically. Vitamin X may have won, but Caboose put up a fight too. SCHIAVONE He did, Jess. But only Vitamin X can say he won this match. And he did it on his own. Without any help from The Lightning Crew whatsoever. VENTURA Has your opinion of Vitamin X changed? SCHIAVONE Eh...a little. VENTURA A little? That's it!? SCHIAVONE Okay...maybe more than a little. VENTURA Oh come on, Tony! Vitamin X just went through hell! What more do you want!? SCHIAVONE I still think he's an obnoxious spazz who should shut his mouth...but at least I know he can fight too. VENTURA Oh Tony. I don't know what to do to help you. Cuban Wall and Princess Stacey raise Vitamin X's hands in victory. They both laugh manically. Vitamin X finally shows some emotion, cracking a cocky smirk on his bloody face. Caboose is sitting on the ring apron, his back, left arm, his left hand, and face completely covered in blood, breathing hard. The EMTs are still checking on him. SCHIAVONE These two men will no doubt EVER be the same again! We did see a different side of Vitamin X tonight. A side perhaps we'll see more of in the future! We said this would be the first...last...and possibly ONLY time we would see this match...and I think we were right! VENTURA "First Time...Last Time...Only Time". Truer words were never spoken! Vitamin X is on the road to the top now, Schiavone! The future is bright for Vitamin X! SCHIAVONE But maybe not so much for Caboose! VENTURA Vitamin X has DESTROYED the legend of Caboose! Just like his shirt said! All Hail Prince Vitamin! He's not just The X-Man, right now, he's THE MAN! SCHIAVONE Vitamin X is on cloud nine now! He has beaten an OAOAST Original, a founding member of the One And Only AngleSault Thread! Vitamin X has come out of the shadows here tonight! What a memorable match we just witnessed! And we still got ONE MORE MATCH left! We'll be right back with the main event of OAOAST Syndicated in primetime, right after this! Caboose slowly gets off the ring apron, crushed. Cuban Wall taunts the camera. Cuban Wall and Princess Stacey help Vitamin X walk through the curtains while the crowd boos and "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys continues playing. The camera shows the entrance, and this is the last image we see before we go to commercial. FADE TO BLACK The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. COLE Wow. What a match. What an unbelieveable, exciting, breath taking match! Vitamin X stepped up to the plate BIG TIME on that night in St. Louis. COACH I knew it. I knew it before anyone else knew it. I did. I really did. Now I can say I told you so! Vitamin X is The X-MAN! COLE That match took more of a toll on Vitamin X then any other match in his entire life. We haven't seen Vitamin X OR Caboose since OAOAST Syndicated, but we presume that they're both recovering from the massive beating they both received and will return soon. COACH I hope Vitamin X returns soon. Not Caboose. COLE Coach, seriously? COACH Just because the guy got hit with barbed-wire doesn't mean I'll change my mind about him! Caboose knew what he was getting himself into, and as a result, I have no sympathy for him! COLE That's real nice, Coach. Real nice. Luckily for you, Caboose hates your guts too! COACH Fine by me. Painted up lazy freak! COLE You really are something, aren't you? COACH That's why people call me Da Coach, and not DA LOSER like they're calling Caboose! COLE Oh will you stop? Please! COACH I'm just saying, ol' CAB-O got WHOOPED on Syndicated, WHOOPED like the LOSER that he is! COLE Don't start! Don't start! COACH Loser! COLE Enough! Shush! COACH ...Loser. COLE Coach! COACH Bite me! COMMERCIAL BREAK

Humidity's risin' Barometer's getting low According to all sources The street's the place to go Los Diablos de Fuego prance onto the pink and yellow lit stage and shake their booties in front of a hostile crowd, concluding with a kiss on both cheeks and a . It's raining men - Hallelujah It's raining men - Amen It's raining men - Hallelujah It's raining men - Amen BUFFER The following contest LIVE on TSM is scheduled for one fall. Currently on the way to the ring, alongside his partner MARIACHI, one half of the sexiest tag team in all of Mexico, Los Diablos de Fuego…MORACCA! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Unaccustomed to the role of villain, Los Diablos are a bit perplexed at first but go on with their routine, bumping and grinding on the guardrails, but it’s when Moracca is shunned attempting to hand his sombrero to one “lucky” male ringside that they understand the gravity of the situation. COLE One of our more popular teams, although you wouldn’t know it based on their reception here tonight -- and you’ll learn why in just a minute -- Los Diablos de Fuego are making their return to the OAOAST following a successful tour in their homeland. They weren’t alone either, tagging along with Rescue 911. COACH They say it was a business trip, but my sources say it was really a romantic getaway! Ever since Officer Bosley and EMT Tim saved Los Diablos de Fuego from attack weeks ago those flaming luchadors have been lusting over them as much as Holly-Wood has over Rico de Janeiro. COLE Los Diablos sexual preference is no secret, and while they may very well love a man in uniform, when it comes to wrestling it’s all business. Easy lover She'll get a hold on you believe it Like no other Before you know it you'll be on your knees The crowd ERUPTS as “Sweet” Lucius Soul struts out through the sliding doors, followed by Rico de Janeiro, stroking his porno moustache as only he can. BUFFER His opponent, accompanied by fellow home wrecker Rico de Janeiro, from the Big Easy! New Orleans, Louisiana, here is…”SWEET” LUCIUS SOOOOOOOOUL!! “YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH Listen to this ovation, Cole! You’d think the Saints just won the Super Bowl. COLE Perhaps the only part of the country the reigning HI-YAH tag team champions are popular in. One place in particular where they’re very unpopular is Sin City, home of the Heavenly Rockers. After what they did to them last week, I’d be watching over my shoulder at all times. We go to a wide shot as the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew stop to chat with a couple of college chicks ringside? Why? Because they FLASH Soul and de Janeiro for a pair of beads! SOUL Awwww, DAYUM! Rico gestures for the girls to call him after the show as Soul and Moracca remove the pre-match attire and prepare for battle. Mariachi with a nice hard slap on the ass for his partner. MORACCA * DINGDINGDING * The bell sounds and both competitors are ready to go, that is until Moracca spots the pick on Soul’s afro. Lucius is all like, my bad, and tosses it to Rico. COACH No harm, no foul. COLE (sarcastically) I’m sure Lucius simply forgot he had the pick in his hair. We all know he’s above bending the rules. To show there was no ill intent Lucius offers his hand in sportsmanship. The trustworthy hombre that he is Moracca accepts…and has the tasted slapped out of his mouth! “YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” Lucius follows up with a big right hand, proclaiming “That’s for the ‘fro, yo!” Referring to an incident that occurred in the Los Diablos-Homewrecking Crew Anderson Cup bout where the masked homie dared to stroke Soul’s trademark afro. Feeling he can do no wrong in front of his home crowd Lucius whips Moracca into the ropes and paint brushes him after a drop toehold, then struts off to comb the ‘fro. “LUCIUS SOUL!” *clap*clap*clap*clap*clap* “LUCIUS SOUL!” *clap*clap*clap*clap*clap* COLE Do not adjust your sets, ladies and gentlemen. You are witnessing a first, as the fans of New Orleans are solidly behind their favorite son, “Sweet” Lucius Soul. Moracca receives some words of encouragement from Mariachi before locking up with Sweetness, who snags him in a side headlock. Moracca shoots him off and is leveled on the rebound by a shoulder tackle. He rolls onto his stomach as Soul hits the ropes and skips over the top, and then under a leapfrog on the way back and right into a SPIN WHEEL KICK! ONE… Soul refuses to stay down, even for a extra second to recoup, and kicks out at one. A series of forearm shivers leave Lucius jelly-legged, but not for long, as he drives the knee into the midsection and whips Moracca into the far corner. Lucius calls on everyone to come aboard the Sooooul Train (had to work that in somewhere, folks) and charges forward, leaping into the corner from midring while rotating 360° to splash… COACH Soul Brother Splash! ….NOTHING BUT TURNBUCKLE! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” COLE The lights were on but nobody was home. Moracca moving out of the way just in the nick of time! Things go from bad to worse for Soul and his supporters, as Moracca wrenches the arm and rubs his genitals across his opponent’s hand! Freaked out beyond belief Soul allows himself to be lifted in a pump handle…but he manages to float over the top and nail Moracca with a BICYCLE KICK! “YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!” Lucius doesn’t even bother attempting a pin, picking Moracca up from the mat to deliver a BUTTERFLY BACKBREAKER… COACH Welcome to Nawlins, “homie“! …followed by a SPRINGBOARD LEGDROP! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Soul raises Moracca’s shoulders off the mat. COLE Come on, Lucius! You had the match won right there. COACH The Soul Man isn’t through yet, Mikey, he still wants to put on a show for his people. COLE It’s not like its going to help rebuild the city. He’s trying to embarrass the youngster. COACH Los Diablos do that just walking out here. Scoop and a…SMALL PACKAGE! COLE Moracca rolls him up! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Both men hurry to their feet. Soul misses a wild clothesline and nearly loses his balance as Moracca races towards the ropes. SPRINGBOARD CROSS BODY…INTO THE POUNCE!! “HOLY SHIT!” “HOLY SHIT!” “HOLY SHIT!” COLE Oh, my! COACH You’ll see that in the opening next week. Lucius pops up with a bounce to his step, feeling the ‘fro as he struts around Moracca’s body. The fans rise in unison as they know what’s next. Soul places both hands besides his ears to signal it’s bedtime. He drapes Moracca across his shoulders and flips him over the top, dropping him face-first onto his knee! COLE Fro 2 Sleep! That will do it. ONE… TWO… THREE!!! “YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner…”SWEET” LUCIUS SOOOOOOOOUL!! After Soul’s hand is raised he decides to put the boots to Moracca. Mariachi comes to his partner’s aid but is knocked down by Rico, who Soul assists in giving the luchador a SPIKE PILEDRIVER! Moracca is then lifted for a suplex, his legs grabbed on the way over by Soul, and planted with a sit out power bomb/neck breaker combo! COACH Coup de Mardi Gras! COLE Somebody get them out of the ring! Once the damage is done the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew are more than pleased to leave the area, high-fiving fans on their way backstage. COLE To shift gears for a moment we recently got hold of some interesting footage. And if you didn't heed the "for mature audiences only" warning at the top of the show, now would be a good time to kick the kids out the room! Roll it! EARLIER THIS WEEK (We open on a shot of a honky-tonk bar filled with smoke. Bikers sit at tables drinking and playing cards, while others play pool. An old fashioned juke box sits against the far wall as a patron chooses a song from it. At the bar a couple of men sit with drinks in their hands. We focus on a table where some surly looking men play poker, one of the men is Jacob Cross. Across the table from Jacob is a fat man with a cigar hanging from his mouth. Next to him is what looks to be Willie Nelson's long lost cousin. Lastly, next to Willie is an unshaven truck driver with a John Deere hat on.) Fat Man: Dammit to hell Cross you can't be serious about this whole wrestling thing. I made a lot of money betting on your fights around here. Jacob: Then bet on my matches. Fat Man: I don't make bets on wrestling. I wouldn't touch it for any amount of money. Jacob: Well you have to find some way of winning back the money I've taken from you tonight. Truck Driver: Are you guys gonna argue all night or are we gonna play cards!? Willie: Now Hank you need to just calm down a little. Here take a hit of this. (Willie tries to hand a joint to Hank, but he waves it off.) Hank: Get that stuff away from me you idiot. Bartender: Hey Jacob are you gonna still come visit us after you become a big wrestling star? Jacob: You know I can't stay away from this place. Fat Man: This place sucks. The only reason I came here was because Pistol Pete's was closed for repairs. Bartender: Well I'll remember that next time you try to open a tab here. Jacob: Now now boys let's all play nice. Bartender: Yes, I don't want trouble. Remember what happened this past New Year's Eve. Jacob: I already told you Tony that I swore I had never slept with that man's wife. (Everyone has a good laugh and all seems to have calmed down. A man with long hair enters the bar and takes a seat with his back to everyone.) Bartender: Hello Rick. I was wondering if I'd see you tonight. (Rick just gives him a half wave and whispers his order) Bartender: Hey Rick maybe you can give Jacob some tips. He's gone and joined up with your old friends at the OAOAST. (Rick glances over his shoulder at Jacob, but his face is still unseen to us the viewers.) Rick: Watch your back. Jacob: I'll remember that. Bartender: Rick here was quite the wrestler a few years back, but injuries sidelined him. Tell him some of your old stories... Rick: That's enough Tony. I don't want to talk about it. Fat Man: No one wants to hear your stories anyway. Not that you could remember them anyway. With all the booze you've been suckin down I'm sure that time in your life is nothing but a....blur. Willie: There's no need for that man. Fat Man: Shut up you stoned son of a bitch. Jacob: Let's just get back to the poker game. Fat Man: And you...you were a great fighter and now you're gonna throw it all away for wrestling!? Bartender: Eric your drunk. Fat Man: I know what I am you idiot! (Eric stands up and gets in Jacob's face) Fat Man: You're nothing but a phony! I bet you couldn't even knock me out! (Jacob stands up and readies for a fight.) Jacob: You know that's funny coming from a fat ass drunk like yourself. Seeing as you're too drunk to know better I'm gonna let this slide this time. (Jacob starts to leave, but the fat man swings wildly at him. He stumbles mid swing and basically falls on Jacob.) Jacob: What the hell is your problem!? (The fat man gets to his feet and this time lands a jab to Jacob's face. Jacob shakes it off and looks pissed. He then tries to swing again, but this time Jacob side steps and nails him with a left hook that sends him toppling into the next table. Glasses and bottles go flying as the table top tilts and sends the fat man to the floor. All the glasses left on the table fall on top of him.) Bartender: Jacob that's enough! Hank: Hey Cross!! Why don't you try that crap with someone who's sober!? (Hank swings over and over, but Jacob ducks each punch. Finally Jacob see's his opening and nails Hank with a combo of punches, finished off with a right hook that sends him to the floor. At this point the fat man is back up and wildly runs at Jacob with a beer bottle, but Jacob moves and the bottle crashes against Rick's back. Everyone goes silent as Rick slowly recovers from the shock. Jacob is distracted long enough that Hank is able to nail him with a punch to the gut. The fat man then uses the opportunity to try and hit Jacob in the head with a beer pitcher, but Rick blasts him with a bottle of his own and the fat man goes down again. At this point the whole bar loses it and everyone gets in on the fight. Jacob and Rick do their best to fend off drunken bikers with pool cues and bottles. In the melee we still do not get a good look at Rick's face.) Bartender: Enough!!! Break it up!!! (Fists are flying everywhere as well as anything they can get their hands on. While all this takes place Willie sits at the table with a serene look on his face and just keeps on smoking. Jacob and Rick fight off as many as they can as the action spills towards the doorway. One man slips out the door and runs to his car. Within a minute the man is back and lobs something onto the bar.) Bartender: Everyone out!!! (The bar immediately bursts into flames as the man had thrown a molotov cocktail. The fighting turns to panic as everyone makes a run for it. The flames begin to spread as the mad dash for the door is on. Finally everyone spills out onto the street as the bar begins to burn.) Bartender: Jacob...Jacob!! What are you doing?? (Jacob stares into the flames coming from the door with a strange look on his face. It is as if he's in a trance.) Bartender: Jacob...are you alright? Jacob: What? Yeah...I'm fine. (Jacob starts to head for his motorcycle and he sees Rick standing in the shadows, his face obscured by the darkness.) Jacob: Some night huh? Rick: You sure know how to make an impression. Jacob: Yeah I tend to do that. So what's your story anyway? Rick: Me? That would take a lot of explaining. Jacob: You seem familiar to me. Where have I seen you before? Rick: Your mind is probably just playing tricks on you. Jacob: Well if you ever decide to return to wrestling come see me. You have my respect after tonight. Rick: Yeah I'll remember that. (Rick turns and walks off down the alleyway while Jacob gets on his motorcycle.) Jacob: Hmm...what a way to start off my wrestling career. I'm sure I'll catch some crap for this. (Jacob then drives off as we fade out.) COMMERCIAL BREAK COMING UP NEXT The bloodbath you've been waiting for Vitamin X vs Caboose

Hey, we have a new person! A nice little introductory vignette as well. I like that word also. Vignette. Makes me feel all sophisticated. eeeeeee EWC you can edit in your segments where ever you think they'll fit best.

You can use Abdullah Abir Nerdly. His stats are somewhere on the second page I think.

CREDITS! Jacob Cross KC Tony uno cuatro nueve Alf PRL at some point in time Your's truly!

MUSIC VIDEO LOGO! The resounding sound that marks the end of our theme song is washed away by the frantic roar of the Little Rock crowd, all eighteen thousand desperate to lay their eyes upon the majestic sight of the OAOAST's gladiators. Laid in front of the view is a splendid arrangement of orange, yellow, and red fireworks, wreaking a controlled havoc to match the audio chaos. The cameras dart around the stands, showcasing fans who's signs and foam fingers reach towards the heavens above. Once that concludes we avoid our customary introductory spiel by the announce team and cut to the action! "JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT! JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!" "First To Believe" by A1 thumps through the arena to the traditional reaction of wild, girlish screams from the crowd. But for once it's a solitary entrance as Shayne Brave walks to the ring alone and not all that cheerfully, despite his bright and sunny orange denim outfit. Shayne manages to find it in him to tag a few hands on his way down the aisle get other than that he's distinctly glum. BUFFER The following contest is a BLINDFOLD MATCH, scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Detroit, Michigan. He weighs in tonight at one hundred and eighty two pounds... one half of D*LLLLUUUUUUUUXXXXX... this is "SHOWTIME" SSHHHAAAAAAYYYYNNEEEEE... BBRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAVVEEEEEEE!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE And as you can see, Shayne Brave coming alone tonight... COACH LOL! COLE ...very mature, Coach. All outside parties have been banned from ringside here tonight to prevent any outside help in this Blindfold Match and of course, Jade Rodez wouldn't be by Shayne's side anyway. But not Tyler Bryant with him, Shayne is going to have to rely on this Nebraska crowd to guide him tonight. COACH Poor guy. COLE Boy you're a riot tonight, huh Coach. Shayne slides into the ring and immediately finds himself confronted by referee Mike Chioda, brandishing a pair of black hoods. Not looking altogether convinced about this idea (and who can blame him, really?), Shayne stoops down and allows the blindfold to be put on... "BREEEAAAK!!" ...while "Tear Away" by Drowning Pool hits and the good feeling around the arena drains out the front door. Emerging through the sliding entrance doors comes Christian Wright, carrying his trusty black briefcase incase of any urgent paperwork that should arise during this match. Wink wink. Straightening up his fancy red polyester jacket with a big smile on his face, Christian strolls down the aisle with his head held high in the face of all the derisory and in some cases, frankly grotesque signs being brandished at him BUFFER And, his opponent. Now residing in Washington, D.C... weighing in at eight and one-third BARS of GOLD! He is the Chief Financial Officer for THE ENTERPRISE... "THE NATURAL" CCHHHRRRRRRIIIIISSTTIIIIIIAAAAAAANN WWRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHHTT!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Wright sets his briefcase on the top step of the ring steps and removes his jacket, biding his time as referee Chioda keeps the as-yet not blindfolded Shayne Brave back. "WOO - DY!" "WOO - DY!" "WOO - DY!" "WOO - DY!" COACH What the hell are these rednecks chanting Woody for? COLE Well, I believe they're referring to Christian's little friend, who of course joined us briefly at AngleMania. COACH Now, why would they do that? Hasn't the man suffered enough!? COLE Evidently not. With his face turning red from a combination of embarrassment and rage, Wright paces on the outside, yelling at the Omaha crowd to pipe down. Which of course doesn't work. So Wright smartly gives up on the crowd and slides into the ring, demanding that Chioda hurry up with the blindfolding of his opponent. Chioda first ensures The Natural is safely in his corner, before going back over and lacing up the rope tie on Shayne's blindfold. "WOO - DY!" "WOO - DY!" WRIGHT SILENCE! "WOO - DY!" "WOO - DY!" COLE This may well be a first in OAOAST history. COACH And not a good one either! I hope it doesn't catch on, that's all I can say. COLE I was talking about the Blindfold Match... COACH Oh, yeah, that too. With Shayne dealt with, Chioda now walks back over to Christian with the second blindfold and gestures for him to put it on. Wright seems pre-occupied with the crowd still, ignoring Chioda's demands to put on the blindfold. Eventually the referee does foist the hood on Wright though... only for The Natural to just hold it in his hand dumbly. "HANG ON A SECOND!" COLE What the... "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" All of a sudden, the crowd's attentions turn to the entrance way, as THEODORE MONEYMAKER appears with microphone in hand, wagging his finger in the direction of the confused referee. Jade Rodez is at Moneymaker's side, scowling a little but showing no real signs of emotion. MONEYMAKER I think there's been some sort of a misunderstanding here. "AAASSS - HOLE!" "AAASSS - HOLE!" "AAASSS - HOLE!" "AAASSS - HOLE!" MONEYMAKER And if you common inbreds would just shut the hell up, I'd be glad to explain! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MONEYMAKER Luckily, Jade Rodez alerted me to the error, having of course signed off on the contract for this match. The contract which, apparantly, the incompetent officials of this company neglected to properly read. See, this IS a Blindfold Match. But, it never said that BOTH competitors would be wearing blindfolds. COLE Oh no... Following the direction of the voice, the protesting Shayne lumbers his way across the ring... ...little realising that Christian has tossed the second blindfold away and is now creeping around behind him. MONEYMAKER The rules of this match state that only whichever one of those manufactured nobodies it is under that hood needs to wear a blindfold. And as you nickel n' dimers know, The Enterprise ALWAYS follow the rules! So, now that that has been cleared up... Right on cue, Wright sneaks up from behind, just as Shayne realises he's in trouble and tries to untie his blindfold. But he doesn't get there in time, as Wright CLUBS him down with a brutal clothesline to the back of the head!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH OH! He blindsighted him! HAHA! *DINGDINGDING!* Referee Chioda is left with no choice but to call for the bell, as Wright leaps up and puts the boots to the fallen Brave amidst a venomous response from the crowd. Moneymaker can be seen in the background laughing at the top of his lungs on the stage watching all this while Jade remains pretty much emotionless next to him. Pulling Shayne off the mat, Wright lays into the blindfolded boybander with a European Uppercut, sending him staggering across the ring! And a second! Shayne hits the turnbuckles and comes darting out, not sure of what exactly he just hit, past Wright who follows after him with a third European! COLE This is bull! I guess we should have known The Enterprise had something up their sleeves, but this is ridiculous! It wasn't enough to force D*LUX into a Handicap Match last Saturday night... Blindfold Match my ass, this is a mugging! COACH You heard Teddy, they're just following the rules. COLE Rules they made up! COACH The benefits of being rich. As Wright backs away, Shayne suddenly finds himself completely isolated in one corner of the ring. Shayne reaches out and starts to fumble at the air in front of him, trying to reach out for anything or anyone to tell him where he is and where his opponent is. That'd be an okay strategy in a normal Blindfold Match. In a Blindfold Match where your opponent isn't blindfolded, it's just making yourself a sitting duck. "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" Not particularly helped by the crowd, Shayne wanders out into the centre of the ring and into a boot to the gut from Wright. Wringing out the arm, an irish whip then follows from The Natural, setting Shayne up... ...for nothing as it turns out, Shayne unable to see the ropes coming and bouncing harmlessly off them chest first. Wright is left standing dumbly as Shayne collapses to the canvas, pulling himself right back up but finding himself even more lost than before. COLE Shayne should just pull the blindfold off now and be done with it. COACH Ah, but that's not following the rules. And we all know you how you love to preach about certain people and their respect for the rules, Mikey. Shayne now looks for the help of the fans in telling him which direction to turn. To their credit, the people of Omaha manage to convey to Shayne just by 'NOOOO's and 'YYAAAYYY's that he should turn around. Unfortunately, they don't convey to Shayne that Christian Wright is right behind him and set for a Superkick. *SMACK!* "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH HE DIDN'T SEE IT COMING!! COLE Oh brother. You've been saving these up all week, I bet. COACH Well, it beats doing a real job. COLE Amen. Shayne's head SNAPS back from the completely unexpected kick and he flies back into the ropes, the lower two bouncing him back and saving him from spilling out to the floor. In hysterics on the stage, Moneymaker claps his hands in glee before giving the "money fingers" to Christian when he looks to the stage. Wright returns the gesture, as all the while Shayne lies motionless on the canvas. "C - O - D!" "C - O - D!" "C - O - D!" "C - O - D!" COLE This crowd want the World Tag Team Champions to end this massacare. But, I'm not so sure they're even here tonight! COACH They probably saw the word Arkansas on the schedule and ran in the opposite direction. The chants begin to fade out when the Princesses Of Penis Pain fail to answer their cries, all the to the amusement of Moneymaker on the ramp. Back in the ring, referee Chioda is trying to convince Wright to end this beating. But it barely even registers with Wright as he brushes the referee aside, pulling Shayne up by the blindfold and turning to the entrance way. From there, Moneymaker shrugs his shoulders and tells him to "go ahead", which is the only real signal that will put an end to this. Wright sets up for a suplex, hanging Shayne's ankles across the top rope and leaving him hanging for a couple of drama-enducing seconds, before twisting to the side with the CONVERSION RATE!! COACH CHA-CHING! Dragging the limp boybander away from the ropes, Wright hooks the leg... 1... 2... 3!! *DINGDINGDING!* COLE And, mercifully, it's over. Chioda wastes no time with the count and raises Christian's arm in a token gesture, before making a move to remove the blindfold from Shayne's head. Meanwhile, heads turn to the aisle, as Moneymaker is on his way to the ring with Jade in tow! BUFFER Your winner of the match... CHRISTIAN WRIGHT!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Applauding as he climbs the steps, Moneymaker dips into the ring and holds the ropes for Jade... before PUTTING THE BOOTS TO SHAYNE BRAVE!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh come on... enough is enough! You've aready beat the kid, what more do you have to prove damnit!? As Chioda finds himself flung out of the way, the beatdown resumes as Christian adds his boots to the equation! Jade watches all this from a far-away corner, showing no signs of compassion for her former charge as he gets the bejeezus kicked out of him by The Enterprise duo. All the time Moneymaker howls with laughter, until suddenly the crowd erupt, due to the arrival of "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRYANT at full speed down the aisle!! Tyler slides headlong into the ring... but slides too fast and too far in his exuberance! And by the time he scrambles to his feet, Moneymaker is waiting on him with a Lariat from the left side, clubbing Tyler down and setting the other D*LUX member up for a stomping! COACH Well, so much for the cavalry! Moneymaker and Wright stomp away on Tyler now, with Shayne both physically unable to help and unable to even see what's going on with the blindfold still over his head! COLE This is ridiculous! The Enterprise, trying to systematically destroy D*LUX... and for what!? What did D*LUX ever do to deserve this!? Not a thing! COACH They stood in the way of progress, that's reason enough. COLE That's a crock of... WAIT A MINUTE!! The crowd again rise to their feet, as more help is on the way. And this, it's in the form of KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN and ALIX MARIA SPEZIA, the OAOAST World Tag Team Champions running to the ring armed with CROQUET MALLETS!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" In the middle of their kicking, Christian notices the eruption from the crowd and the vengeful women charging their way, quickly alerting Teddy before bailing out of the ring! Moneymaker bails out too, just in time as Alix and Krista come in swinging, narrowly missing Moneymaker with the mallet! In all the chaos, Moneymaker and Wright don't even seem to notice that they're one short, frantic to get the hell out of dodge as Krista and Alix suddenly notice Jade Rodez, trapped in a corner like a dear in the headlights! COACH Oh no... Alix's ADD draws her away from the really juicy confrontation and to D*LUX, checking the two boybanders are still breathing. Meanwhile, Krista and Jade come face to face, Jade trying to stay composed but her eyes telling a different story. Christian can be seen contemplating making a move to save her, but Moneymaker holds him back, noticing that Krista has stopped in her tracks. Dropping the unorthodox weapon in her hands, Krista just looks at Jade. A long, awkward look. (You know where you've kind of got your mouth partially open, head cocked to the side, eyes water, as their lids try to flutter away the sight of person who hurt you so bad. Patty knows. Thanks Patty!) Realising that her former mentor has no intentions of hitting her, cautiously Jade begins to leave. She doesn't take her eyes off of Krista, just incase, until she makes it through the bottom rope to the floor, at which point she turns her back and simply walks away. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Wow... was that... compassion from Krista? COACH First time for everything I guess. "Money Talks" plays through the P.A again as Moneymaker, Wright and now Jade leave. COD look on, daring them to stay and fight, as D*LUX start to drag themselves back to life around them. COLE D*LUX taking a beating here tonight but one thing is for sure, if not for Chicks Over Dicks' intervention, it could have been a lot worse. Thank goodness they arrived when they did. COACH And thank goodness they managed to get those croquet sticks through customs. Cause you know Arkansas ain't cultured enough for them to have bought them here. COLE Did you just say croquet sticks? COACH Uh......gotta go! COMMERCIALS!! COLE Welcome back to HeldDOWN~!... where, before the break, we saw the quote-un-quote Blindfold 'Match', which turned out to be not so much a match as a beatdown at the hands of Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright. Thankfully Chicks Over Dicks were on hand to run The Enterprise off and during the break, one of our many hidden cameras picked up this... **DURING THE BREAK** Still wielding their croquet mallets, Alix Maria Spezia and a visably shaken-up Krista Isadora Duncan have made it through the 'go' position on their way back to their locker room and more importantly the free-bar mandated by their contracts (P.S. Krista likes to drink!). However, their progress and their inevitable hangovers are hampered momentarily as D*LUX drag themselves through the curtains behind them. KRISTA Oh... yeah, you guys. I told you we forgot something. Well, actually, I told you we forgot something important, I guess I was half right at least. No offence meant, it's just nothing feels all that important to me right now. Life itself doesn't seem the great, incomprehensibly complicatedly crafted gift from above some people believe it to be. So, anyway, sorry for leaving you. ALIX Slaps forehead. KRISTA I agree. But, isn't that really more of an action than a piece of dialogue sweetie? Shouldn't you have actually slapped your forehead? ALIX Wouldn't that hurt? KRISTA Good point. *slaps forehead* There. Much better. D*LUX look a little disturbed for a moment at the self-abuse being dished out to Ms. Duncan by Ms. Duncan, before realising they should talk advantage of the lull in talking while they can. SHAYNE Miss Krista, we wanna thank you helping us. For a moment, I wasn't sure anyone was going to save us. ALIX Well, we would have swooped to your rescue sooner, but we let Team Jamaica borrow our croquet gear so we had to take a detour. KRISTA Listen dumplings, your buddy Leon might be a spineless dweeb who's to afraid to fight when a battle comes a knockin', but my spine was voted the 3rd hottest in the entire world and I'll be damned if I'm gonna let it go to waste! Plus, am not a dweeb. I don't even know what that means. Infact, I've never even heard that word before. Trust me, if you need someone to rely on in the field of potentially and Buddah-willing one day successfully castrating Theodore Moneymaker, look no further than Chicks Over Dicks! Brushing aside their considerable anguish, the boybanders perk up with excitement at Krista's somewhat vulgar offering of assistance. SHAYNE Oh, we surely won't! Nobody kicks BUTT liked you do. TYLER And by the way, thanks for not hurting Jade when you had the chance. That was really noble of you. Krista scoffs. KRISTA Trust me, I didn't do it for you and I sure as sugar didn't do it to be 'noble'. TYLER Well, whatever the reason, thank you. An awkward pause follows, as Shayne begins to gather the requisite amount of courage needed to extend an invitation to the former beauty queens. SHAYNE And, if you ever want to talk about your feelings with us, we'd love to lend an ear to you and listen. And...well, maybe, perhaps write a song about it. ALIX KRISTA (dryly) I'll keep that in mind. Now, if you don't mind, I have an appointment with my friends Jack Daniels and Joe... uhm, Joe Vodka? Look, I'm gonna get drunk, okay. Badda bing badda boom, I'm out. And with that Krista and Alix, with a swoop of her imaginary cape, leave and we return to Sofa Central! COACH Yeah, extra anchovies... huh? We're on already? (hangs up cellphone) That was the shortest COD promo in history! COLE You're not kidding. Cole finishes painting his final toenail before tucking his boney legs back under the announce table. COACH Green? Ew. COLE Shut up. While I share Coach's sentiments and violently vomit all over my keyboard, and try in vain to suppress my rising homicidal urges plz enjoi this video The (TV) screen goes black, and the following appears on the screen. The following announcement was paid for by World Domination Wrestling. Soft music accompanied by wind instruments plays, and a spotlight slowly raises over an all black wrestling ring with red ring ropes. (voiceover) In the beginning, the land was pure. Even in the early morning light, you could see the beauty in the forms of nature. Head shot of Alfdogg looking off into the distance. Soon men and women of every color... Shot of an Asian man doing martial arts poses in the shadows. And shape... Shot of an overweight tattooed man wearing colorful clothing. Would be here too. And they would find it all too easy sometimes not to see the colors... Shot of Chris Stevens smashing said tattooed man from behind with a mirror. ...and to ignore the beauty in each other. Shot of Alf delivering a beltshot to CWM. But they would never lose sight of the dream. Head shot of Stevens looking off into the distance. The bitter world that they could unite... Head shot of Axel staring off into the distance. And build together...in Triumph. As the last line is spoken, a camera shot from the ground is shown with a red tint, with Rick Heyross, Alfdogg, and Axel standing left to right and looking down into the camera smiling. The screen then fades into another announcement. World Domination Wrestling presents: WDW Triumph Coming Saturday, June 2 Can You Feel It?

(We open on a shot of a desert road. A motorcycle approaches in the distance, obscured by the heat waves coming off the road. A voice breaks the silence) “Chances are you don't know me. In fact no one really knows me. I'm the face in the crowd that you see one second and forget the next. I'm the drifter that moves from town to town and yet few remember me once I'm gone. Five years ago I lost everything in a fire. My home, my possessions, and my wife. All I was left with were the clothes on my back and my motorcycle. So I set out on the road with no clear direction and no plan, but I knew how to survive.” (We close in on the rider, his long hair blowing in the wind from under his cowboy hat. His face unshaven and burned from the sun as he focuses on an unknown destination.) “I made my living by fighting for money in bars and rundown gyms. All I had left was the fight and it was good to me. Everywhere I went I bruised my knuckles on the faces and bodies of anyone who stood across from me and I loved it. Fighting got my mind off the loss and riding the open road cleared my mind of all else.” (We see the rider smirk to himself as he rides along with the sunset in the background.) “Some might call me cold and uncaring, but the truth is I don't need anyone but myself and I aim to keep it that way. I've lost it all before and I will not lose it all again. Fighting and traveling the country are all I need now, but money is hard to come by nowadays on the road. The fights are becoming fewer and farther in between.” (The rider pulls off into the parking lot of a gas station and parks his bike near the front door. He then walks inside and tips his hat to the clerk. On the TV behind the clerk OAOAST Wrestling is on.) “Then I had an idea. What better way is there to travel the country, and possibly the world, while finding a good fight than to become a wrestler. The few happy memories of my childhood come back to me. Memories of watching wrestling with my brother. Memories of wishing I could be one of them. In my life you cling on to whatever good thing you can and you don't let go, so I knew then where I needed to be.” (The rider pays for his snacks and heads out the door. He then takes in the scenery around him as the gas station attendant walks over to him.) Attendant: "Hi there! What's your name son?" Jacob: "Jacob Cross....and I'm nobody's son." (Jacob hops onto the motorcycle and starts it up) Attendant: "Well Mr. Cross where are you heading?" Jacob: "That...well we'll just have to see won't we?" (With that Jacob speeds off, leaving a cloud of dust in his wake.) “We will see, and when I reach the OAOAST then maybe I can find myself a good fight and maybe I can find some peace.” (Fade out on Jacob riding off into the distance.) COMMERCIAL BREAK Main event!

The view returns to the arena were the sold out North Little Rock crowd is understandably abuzz with anticipation for Leon's challenge. But the focus of their thoughts quickly shifts to other matters as Magnum Opus hits, and Alfdogg makes his way out to the ring, drawing boos. Alf is accompanied by two lovely escorts. COLE Heartland title on the line next, and Alfdogg on his way out to the ring! BUFFER The following contest is for the OAOAST Heartland championship, scheduled for one fall! First, introducing the WDW World heavyweight champion...ALFDOGG!!!!! Alf walks down the aisle, and climbs into the ring. COLE And Alf is here, I presume, to announce the newest acquisition of World Domination Wrestling, and Thunderkid's opponent in the forthcoming match! ALF Boy, I got some BIG news tonight! *crowd boos* ALF Before I get around to introducing the man who will bring the OAOAST Heartland title into the fold, I have another very important announcement. COACH What could this one be, Cole? ALF I'm here to announce that next Monday, May the 14th, World Domination Wrestling will return to your television set! *crowd boos* COLE A big announcement indeed! Now, let's hear that other announcement! ALF And now, if I may, here is the challenger for the OAOAST Heartland title, and the newest acquisition of World Domination Wrestling! Weighing in at 218 pounds, and hailing from Thunder Bay, Ontario..."AFTER HOURS" FELIX STRUTTER! Girls, Girls, Girls by Jay-Z hits, and the lights go out. Pink lights shine around the arena, and a pink light illuminates the entryway, as the escorts make their way out to meet Strutter. Strutter walks out confidently, and takes one girl in each arm, making his way to the ring. COLE And this is a big acquisition for WDW, this guy's got a bright future in this business, "After Hours" Felix Strutter! COACH New look for Felix, and he could walk out of here tonight with an OAOAST championship on his way to WDW! Strutter climbs into the ring and poses on the buckles, drawing boos. The ladies remove his vest, and he stretches in the corner as God of Thunder hits and Thunderkid makes his way down the aisle. COLE Well, I'm sure Thunderkid will have something to say about that! BUFFER His opponent...hailing from Green Bay, Wisconsin, and weighing in at 250 pounds...he is the OAOAST Heartland champion...THUNDERKID!!!!! TK slides into the ring, where Strutter attacks! *DING DING DING* COLE And a sneak attack by Felix Strutter! COACH That's what he's gotta do! He wants that title for WDW! Strutter picks up TK, and lays in a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Strutter pulls TK out, and whips him into the ropes, but TK ducks a clothesline, and floors Strutter with one of his own! TK yells out to the crowd, which responds in kind. TK then whips Strutter into the ropes, and picks him up in a PRESS SLAM~! COLE And TK showing off that tremendous power! TK holds him for a few seconds, then tosses him down to the mat! Strutter gets up, holding his back, and TK follows him in, clotheslining him over the top to the floor! COACH And Felix Strutter in big trouble, he needs to get it together! COLE Alf and Axel can't be liking the looks of this match! Strutter walks around a bit and gains his senses, then climbs up onto the apron. TK catches him coming up, and suplexes him back inside! COLE Great execution on that suplex by TK! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! TK backs into the ropes, and drops an elbow! COACH BIG elbow! TK measures, then backs in and drops a second, and then a third! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE And TK going for quick covers, he wants to end this one quick! Strutter gets up and crawls over to the ropes, as TK follows. COACH Break it up, ref, he's in the ropes! COLE Hey! Whose side are you on, anyway? COACH Well, that's the rules, isn't it? COLE This match is for the Heartland title, there are no disqualifications! The ref backs TK off, then when he moves, TK charges, but Strutter delivers a BIG backdrop right to the floor! COLE WOW, TK took a LONG fall on that one! COACH He's hurtin' right now, and Strutter needs to take a breather! Strutter catches his wind, then slides out to follow TK. He reaches under the ring, and finds a kendo stick! COLE And Felix Strutter bringing out the hardware! The crowd gasps as Felix lifts the stick overhead, and brings it down across TK's back! COLE And a hard shot across the muscular back of TK! Strutter tosses TK back into the ring, then backs into the ropes and drops a big knee to the sternum! COLE And a big kneedrop, and a cover! 1... 2... Kickout! Strutter then picks up TK, hooks him, and delivers a DOUBLE-ARM DDT~! COACH And Strutter may be setting him up early here! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! COLE But TK not done yet! Strutter waits for TK to get up, then delivers a foot to the gut, and sets up the THUNDER BAY THROTTLE~!!!111 COACH Here it comes now! Strutter stops to pose, and gets backdropped by TK! COLE Strutter took too long, and TK able to escape! TK charges Strutter, who trips up TK, and hooks the STF~! COLE STF locked in by Felix Strutter! COACH This could be it for TK! TK screams in pain as Strutter cinches in on the hold. TK tries to fight the pain, but eventually starts to fade. COACH It looks like the lights are starting to go out! COLE And Alf has got to be giddy in the back, along with Axel! The referee raises TK's arm... ONE!!! TWO!!! TK keeps the arm up on the third lift! COLE But TK refusing to die! TK puts his free hand on the mat, scoots over slowly, and grabs the bottom rope! COLE And he reaches the ropes! Strutter breaks the hold and allows TK to pull himself up on the ropes. Strutter delivers a knee to the back, then chokes TK on the ropes. He holds for a few seconds, then picks up TK and whips him into the ropes...but puts his head down, and TK executes a sunset flip! 1... 2... NO! Kickout! Strutter pops right up and clotheslines TK to the mat! COACH And Felix Strutter right back on the offensive! Strutter slides back to the outside, and grabs the kendo stick! COLE And Strutter bringing the stick back into play! Strutter measures TK, then brings the stick into his gut! Strutter raises the stick once again, and brings it across his back! Strutter then positions TK, and goes to the top rope... COLE Could be that outstanding legdrop by Felix Strutter! COACH Well, if it is, and it connects, we'll have a new champion! Strutter gets his balance, and goes for the SHOOTING STAR LEGDROP~!!!...but TK rolls out of the way! COLE But nobody home! TK gets up slowly, and starts delivering right jabs, then floors Strutter with a clothesline! Then a second! TK follows up with a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Strutter gets the shoulder up! TK picks up Strutter and executes a Fallaway Slam! TK then measures, and hits Strutter with a BICYCLE KICK~!, then looks down at the kendo stick! COLE And now it's TK going after the weapon! TK grabs the stick, as the crowd cheers, and slams it across Strutter's chest! COACH What a shot! TK looks down at Strutter, then raises the stick up in the air, as Charlie Moss and Quentin Benjamin run to the ring and attack from behind! COLE Team Heyross is here! Moss and Benjamin stomp away on TK, to boos from the crowd. Moss picks up TK, and holds him back for Benjamin, who grabs the kendo stick. COLE Come on now! Benjamin points out to the crowd, then takes a home run swing...which hits Charlie Moss, as TK had ducked out of the way! COACH He hit his partner! TK creeps behind Benjamin, and takes him all the way over the top rope with a belly-to-belly! COLE And NOW, maybe TK can finish this defense off! TK picks up Strutter, and hooks him for the THUNDERBOLT DDT~!!!!!11111 However, Alfdogg slides into the ring, grabs the kendo stick, and BLASTS TK right between the eyes! COLE OH NO! TK is out, thanks to Alf! DAMN IT! Alf slides out of the ring, with a smile on his face, as a dazed Felix Strutter picks up TK, hooks him, and delivers the THUNDER BAY THROTTLE~!!!111 COLE No, don't tell me... 1... 2... COLE Kick out! KICK OUT! ... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COLE DAMN IT! We've got a new Heartland champion...and he's under contract with WDW! BUFFER The winner of the match...and NEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW OAOAST Heartland champion..."AFTER HOURS" FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIX STRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! COACH What does this mean, Cole? COLE A WDW wrestler owns an OAOAST championship! What does this mean for the Heartland title? Your guess is as good as mine, Coach! Alf holds Strutter up in the aisle as he holds his belt in the air, while a groggy, bloodied TK stares them down from the ring. Team Heyross joins Alf and Strutter, their arms raised. COLE I don't know what to think here...I just don't know. Let's go to Josh. We do in fact cut to Josh Matthews who seems to have found his way into a mighty troubling situation.... gives new meaning to the word doggy style AMIRITE e-wrestling pals? COMMERCIAL BREAK Sometime after a body spray ad where a hot woman tells morbidly obese shut ins that they will get laid through the purchase of cheap ass ten dollar spritz that will most likely turn their skin green and cause an outbreak of scabies, we see.... Avril Lavigne? No just her look a like, goth-prep Maggie Nerdly, in a black polo shirt and ruffled black mini skull patterned skirt, stationed in the expertly decorated Action Zone, which features a wealth of flat screen television monitors, each displaying various moments in oaoast history. On the walls hang glittering replicas of the numerous oaoast titles both past and present, along with gorgeous pictures of those superstars that don't look like they've spent the previous night face down in a ditch. MAGGIE NERDLY What's good, what's up, what's happening? Maggie Nerdly, your girl on the scene, telling you that once the show is over, you better bring your BUTT to OAOAST.COM for OAOAST Afterparty, your inside source on all the hottest OAOAST superstars, hosted by you know who, me Megan Nerdly. Errrr....Maggie. I think. This week Tha Puerto Rican takes us on a tour of San Juan, we head into the recording studio with Logan Mann, and Johnny Jackson shows us how to party in Hotlanta, GA. And you can only get into this Afterparty at OAOAST.COM. Try not to be fashionably late. And away from Maggie we go. Where we stop only the next reply in this thread knows!

After the WDW hype machine shuts down for the night, the view returns to that of the legendary announcer, Michael Buffer, positioned within the ring, surrounded by a murmur of anticipation from the capacity crowd. BUFFER Wrestling fans, the following contest, sanctioned by HI-YAH Promotions and the OAOAST, is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the HI-YAH tag team championship! Fall Out Boy’s “Thriller” hits and the crowd goes crazy, bringing a smile to Melody Nerdly’s face as she leads her terrific twosome to the squared circle. BUFFER First, the challengers…from San Antonio, Texas, totaling 497 pounds, JOCK MULLIGAN and BARON WINDELS…THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS! And they are accompanied everyone’s favorite gal pal MELODY NERDLY! “YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!” The guys hand Melody their accessories and go through their last minute routine as they await their opponents. COLE A reminder, ladies and gentlemen, this bout is being contested under HI-YAH rules. Instead of the traditional 10 count there will be a 20 count, and throwing your opponent over the top rope is an automatic disqualification. Now back to Michael Buffer. Easy lover She'll get a hold on you believe it Like no other Before you know it you'll be on your knees The soothing sound of Phil Collins' "Easy Lover" fills the air as Rico de Janeiro swaggers onto the stage stroking his 70s porn ‘stache. “Sweet” Lucius Soul pops out behind him, puffing out his afro. BUFFER Their opponents and champions, weighing in tonight at a total combined weight of 410 pounds, RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL...THE MARDI GRAS HHHOOOOMMEEWRECKING CREW! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The always confident pair are even more so now that they hold the HI-YAH tag team championship. Once inside the ring, referee Charles Robinson asks for possession of the titles. Rico and Lucius oblige, but not before Soul gives his belt a French Quarter kiss! COACH How can you not love those guys, Cole? COLE Simple. They’re arrogant. And home wreckers! It’s the very reason they’ve gotten themselves in hot water with the Heavenly Rockers. Rico made unsolicited advances towards Logan’s wife Holly-Wood and to say he’s pissed would be an understatement. Thank goodness the Lone Star Gunslingers were there for Holly. Who knows what Rico would’ve done had they not shown up. COACH Oh, please. Haven’t you ever heard of supply and demand? Besides, Holly’s the one who started flirting with Rico. She’s obviously playing hard to get with her combative attitude. Of course you wouldn’t know since you’re from Venus. * DINGDINGDING * Rico de Janeiro and Baron Windels get things going for their respective teams, and Rico starts off strong by utilizing a Greco-Roman knuckle lock to cheap shot Baron, kicking the 6’7” Texan in the gut. Doubled over, Baron is staggered by a series of blows to the face. Looking to strike big early de Janeiro whips Windels into the ropes to deliver his patent running high knee, but Baron ducks and lands a flying lariat on the rebound! ONE… Baron rises up as he spots Lucius coming in and backdrops the Louisiana native. Soul finds himself in the wrong side of town, face to face with Jock Mulligan. Big right hand sends Lucius stumbling back towards Baron and a hip toss…onto Rico! Rico is then sent off for the ride and back dropped. A tag is made and Jock Mulligan officially sees action for the first time tonight, connecting on a MISSLE DROPKICK! COLE That ought to please Melody. She’s been asking the Gunslingers to incorporate more high-risk moves into their matches for awhile now. COACH There’s only one person who can please Melody, and that’s Rico de Janeiro. COLE Why did I know you were going to go-- Here’s the cover! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Irish whip, but Rico counters and Lucius pulls down the top rope, causing Jock to tumble outside. Soul harasses Baron inside while Rico goes to work on the floor, lifting Jock onto his shoulder before dropping him face-first on the steel steps! The sickening thud that follows grabs the attention of the referee, who immediately orders de Janeiro back in. The damage done Rico has no problem going along with the request. He rolls Jock in and tags out. Lucius swings inside onto the middle turnbuckle and delivers a picture perfect elbow! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Jock barely gets the shoulder off the mat. Rico returns and successfully executes a gut wrench suplex, popping right up to stroke the ‘stache and drop the big leg! COACH Porno 'Stache Leg drop! ONE… TWO… Rico’s lackadaisical cover, which is simply his leg across Jock’s chest, isn’t enough to keep the Texas Twister down. Melody leads the crowd in urging Jock on as Baron shouts words of encouragement from the apron. “LET’S GO JOCK!” “LET’S GO JOCK!” “LET’S GO JOCK!” Following a tag, Jock is slammed and then crushed by a pair of elbows from the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. Rico then assists “Sweet” Lucius Soul on a STANDING MOONSAULT! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Soul gets down with his bad self before firing Jock into the corner, charging in after and smashing the flat of the boot into the jaw of the Texas Twister. What happens next is the biggest insult to the state of Texas since the time Ozzy Osborne pissed on the Alamo, as Lucius plants Jock into the canvas with a BULLDOG! BARON MELODY COACH That’s the best Bulldog I’ve seen in all my years in this great sport, Cole. Look at Baron and Melody. They’re envious right now. COLE Envious?! Disgusted is more like it. ONE… TWO… Still fuming over the use of the bulldog, Baron breaks up the count and lets loose on Lucius. As he’s restrained by the official Soul and de Janeiro swap places. Questioned by the zebra Rico denies any wrongdoing and puts the boots to Jock. The Texas Twister develops a sense of urgency as Rico lifts him overhead, worming out of a body vice or attempted Moustache Ride and locks on… “YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” …THE IRON CLAW!! Amazingly, Rico manages to grab a side headlock out of sheer desperation but is quickly pushed off into the ropes. A notorious ladies’ man, even lady luck is charmed by Rico de Janeiro, the King of Mardi Gras somehow able to make the blind tag as he bounces off the near side and is driven into the mat courtesy of a real Texas BULLDOG by Jock Mulligan! COLE Bulldog! He got him with the bulldog! But Jock didn’t see the tag. He has Rico pinned for at least a 10 count but a tag was made! Unaware of what has happened the Gunslinger complain to referee Charles Robinson, who does his best to explain the situation. Even Melody gets in on the act, jumping on the apron to protest. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The crowd reacts as Lucius sneaks inside with the tag title in hand. Soul believes he has a clear shot at Jock when… “YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” …LOGAN MANN shows up and rips the belt out of his hands! LUCIUS Wagging his finger in Soul’s face Logan is blindsided by Rico. The crowd erupts again as SYNTH makes his presence felt, evening up the odds. As the bodies start to fly the referee notices the mayhem going on behind him and calls for the bell. * DINGDINGDING * COACH Disqualification! The champs retain their titles! Not one to run away from a good fight the Gunslingers join in and help the Heavenly Rockers clean house on the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. With fists flying everywhere it’s only natural that one stays from its target, as is the case when Jock accidentally nails Logan. “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” Logan storms to his feet and confronts Jock, who is very apologetic, but the wild child he’s been known to be in the past prevents Logan from thinking clearly, or maybe it’s just from the shot he took. Either way, his wife HOLLY-WOOD arrivals on the scene to play peacemaker and cooler heads prevail, much to the fans delight as “Heart-Shaped Box“ hits. COLE That’s great to see right there. COACH Give me a break. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, I have been informed by the referee that due to outside interference the winners of the match as a result of a disqualification…and STILL HI-YAH tag team champions, Rico de Janeiro and “Sweet” Lucius Soul…THE MARDI GRAS HHHOOOOMMEEWRECKING CREW! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE The crowd doesn’t like it and neither do I. But it’s the right decision. Though their intentions were noble the Heavenly Rockers did interfere in the contest. COACH I guess you aren’t as stupid as you look, Cole. It took 5 years but you finally said something intelligent. There’s still hope for mankind after all. Holly and Melody raise the guys’ hands and all is well…until the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew cheap shot the Heavenly Rockers from behind, clubbing them with their tag titles! Soul and de Janeiro hightail it before the Gunslingers have any time to stick up for their buddies. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The champs retreat stroking their porno mustache and afro, respectively. COLE A hit and run attack by the champions. A shameful act on their part. But if we know one thing about the Heavenly Rockers, they won’t stay down. The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew may have fired the first shot, but it just may have been their last. Folks, when HeldDOWN makes it return you can look forward to seeing our second title match of the night, ThunderKid defending his Heartland title! It's always a great one when ThunderKid's involved. Don't miss it! COMMERCIAL BREAK While we await HeldDOWN's return let us look at the NL West Division standings. Dodgers17-11 Diamondbacks 16-13 Giants 14-12 Padres 15-13 Rockies 11-17 giants fans u ??? We're broken away from taunting hapless giants fans and suddenly find ourselves transported to Detroit, Michigan and a rather lavish looking house. And, to LEON RODEZ, sat on the porch (wow, those OAOAST contracts must be pretty lucrative if he's got a porch, huh?), looking skywards for a moment before his eyes scan down into the camera. LEON It's not every day your little sister slaps you in the face on national TV. LEON And Theodore Moneymaker, I hold you directly responsible. Yeah, I packed my bags. I walked away. See, I came back home hoping to clear my head. And everywhere I look in that house, I see my sister. My sister's toys. My sister's clothes. My sister's photos. My sister... the sister that suddenly doesn't seem to exist as I know her anymore. The person who slapped me, that wasn't the little sister I grew up with. LEON Everytime things have got too heavy in the OAOAST, I knew I could come back here to clear my head. When Christian Wright showed up and tried to wreck my career, tried to run me out of the OAOAST, I came back to Detroit... and by the time I returned, I was able to keep a clear head and deal with him in my own way. When Todd Cortez put me on the injury list, damn near broke my neck, I convelesed in the house behind me... and by the time I returned, I'd gained some sense of perspective and I was able to keep my cool at AngleMania. But this... this goes beyond personal. I can't just kick back, watch TV all day, listen to music, whatever it takes to clear my head. Moneymaker, you've poisoned my sister's mind, turned her against me, turned her against everything she ever believed in and loved! This house used to be my solace. And now, even here, there's no escape from what's happened. LEON Being here used to ground me. Now, it's just making me angrier and angrier with every passing day. So, if I can't release that anger here, I know where I can. Moneymaker, I'm coming back next week... and I'm coming for you! FADE OUT

From the Alltel Arena, an 18,000-seat multi-purpose arena in North Little Rock, Arkansas, directly across the Arkansas River from downtown Little Rock!

Just make sure ya send it to moi.

The matches that were there looked good. KC, I left a space for the blindfold, and PRL you can go ahead and insert your segments where you think they'd fit, you'd be able to determine the order and spacing better then me.

. However, it's totally understandable! Hope to see ya come back very soon. "If anyone wants to use Riggs they are free to do so." I could probably find something for him to do. But like you said it's a matter of finding the time and energy to write it.

CREDITS lol the lakers are not as ugh as they wwere when i made that title.

Ears across the globe hear HD's random introductory theme song, recorded by a Nameless MySpace Indy Band Only Three People Have Ever Heard Of, because all mainstream music is fucking terrible and you're a worthless shithead if you've ever entertained the thought of buying an All American Rejects, MIMS, Fallout Boy, Katherine McPhee, or Shakira album. While all this transpiring the intro video causes epileptic seizures to millions worldwide. After that piece of bidness is done the logo makes it's usual appearance... A parade of fireworks terrorize the sold out Qwest center, as the raucous Nebraska crowd pummels the air with their cries of joy and celebration. Neatly designed signs shoot into the sky, advertising each fans' favorite entertainer, or in some cases their least favorite. Though their opinions vary, their excitement for tonight's proceedings is much the same. Eventually we're brought to our announce team, each member wearing OAOAST Syndicated t-shirts that no one in their right mind would ever think of buying. COACH Why are we here? Who wants to be in Nebraska for anything? The Coach is a big mover, a major player, I gotta be in the big time, big cities, New York, LA, the ATL, ain't nothing goin down in Omaha! COLE Maybe not usually, but tonight there sure is! COACH Like what? COLE For one thing we have an enormous pay per view quality mainevent as Zack Malibu, Bohemoth, Caboose and Jamie O'Hara battle The Lightening Crew in an eight person tag team match that's certain to garner a few match of the year votes this December. But that's not all, because Tte six man titles will be on the line tonight as Brock Ausstin and America's Team defend against The Enterprise's unit of The Beverly Hills Blonds and Craig Patrick Allen. And finally, although I'm a huge fan of D*LUX, one of their biggest in the company, I can't say I'm looking forward to the match that Shayne Brave is involved in tonight. A blindfold match against Christian Wright. Just disgusting, I can't believe it was allowed to stand. COACH You crazy, kid. Ain't nothing better then watching some pretty boy Idol washout grope and claw futilely while the 2005 rookie of the year smashes his brains out! That's what I came for, that's why I'm in Omaha. Let's get on wit' it! BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the World six-man tag team championship! You break the laws You hustle, you deal, you steal from us all Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Money talks The fans waste no time voicing their contempt for the rich and famous, the fantastic foursome of the Beverly Hills Blonds, CPA and Mackenzie DeCenzo, booing them at the top of their lungs. CPA provides cover for Mackenzie as debris is hurled their direction. The Blonds, meanwhile, add fuel to the fire by taunting various audience members on their way to the squared circle. One male so incense after an inappropriate gesture by Ned Blanchard towards his female companion, he reaches over the guardrail to take a shot at the Handsome Hustler, only to have CPA swat his hand away. CPA MALE FAN BLANCHARD SINGLETON BUFFER Now arriving on the red carpet, accompanied by MACKENZIE DECENZO and representing THE ENTERPRISE, the challengers! First, from the Collection Agency, 265 pounds…CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN, otherwise known as C-P-A! His partners, total combine weight 460 pounds…SIMON SINGLETON and NED BLANCHARD…THE BEVERLY HILLS BBLLLLLLOOOOOONNDDSSSSSS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE What a contest this should be, ladies and gentlemen. A match-up we all thought we’d see last week, but an administrative error on the part of the OAOAST caused the bout to be postponed. COACH I’m sure it was just an accident that some chick forgot to dot the I and cross the T, right? I bet they’re some real insecure people in OAOAST headquarters. They see how strong the Enterprise is becoming by the week and those in positions of power are worried Theodore Moneymaker will place a hostile bid to acquire the company and actually hold people accountable for their actions. COLE Speaking of Theodore, he and Christian Wright still on the hunt for the World tag team titles currently held by Chicks Over Dicks. Moneymaker vowing to dethrone America’s Sweethearts by any means necessary, including putting together his own tag team battle royal last week! COACH If COD have any ovaries left, they’d grant CW and Teddy an immediate rematch. Imagine all the money that would be going to charity if Teddy didn’t have to spend it on chasing COD and the tag titles. COLE Theodore giving money to charity? Unless it’s to Rudy’s presidential campaign I highly doubt that. Come on God, Answer Me. For Years, I've Been Asking You Why? Why are the Innocent Dead and the Guilty Alive? Where is Justice? Where is Punishment? Smoke fills the entranceway as “Punishment” blares in the background. As the smoke disperses the World 6-man tag team champions appear onstage. America’s Team lift the hoods of their windbreakers to stare down the Blonds and CPA, while Brock does the HAPPY HAPPY HOSS DANCE~! BUFFER And their opponents! At a total combined weight of 790 pounds...they are the REIGNING and DEFENDING 6-man tag team champions of the woooooorld, CHARLIE MOSS and QUENTIEN BENJAMIN...AMERICA'S TEAM...and BROCK AUUUSSSSTIIIIIIIIN!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Or Have You Already Answered? Have You Already Said to the World, Here is Justice. Here is Punishment. Here.... In Me. * BOOM * Pyro BLASTS from all 4 ring posts as Brock leaps onto the ring apron from the arena floor. Right behind him are Moss and Benjamin, who climb up the ring steps and enter. COLE It should be noted, Christian Wright was originally scheduled to compete in this match, but Theodore Moneymaker issued an executive order hours prior to coming on the air and replaced him with CPA. COACH A source close to the situation told me it was a mutual decision. The concern with CPA was his lack of in-ring experience. Would he be more of a liability than anything else? He gives the Enterprise that power hitter to match-up against Brock Ausstin, which wouldn‘t be the case if CW was the third man. I’ve been told CPA is still a bit raw, but has shown a tremendous amount of progress in the last few weeks under the best training money can buy. Teddy’s gambles are known to pay off, and I expect the trend to continue tonight. Whatever garb the participants need to remove is done so. The assigned official asks both teams if they have any last minute questions, and the answer is no. All 6 men ready to go, with Charlie Moss and Simon Singleton to start for their teams. * DINGDINGDING * The bell sounds and Charlie Moss grabs a side headlock. Singleton tries to shoot him off into the ropes but Moss stands his ground and tightens his grip. Far from the ropes Simon punches Charlie in the gut and bends him backwards with an overhead wristlock, Moss bridging on his neck to avoid his shoulders touching the mat, trying to muscle his way up, but Simon yanks him down with a handful of hair. ONE… Moss kips up and places Singleton in a wristlock, then flips him onto his back and into an overhead wristlock. Grimacing in discomfort Simon rakes the eyes and clubs Charlie across the shoulder blades before reaching back and… “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” …chopping the hide off Moss’ chest. A barrage of forearm smashes, knife-edge chops and knees to the midsection rattle the Minnesota native against the ropes. The Beverly Hills Blonds make a tag and fire Moss across the ring…but he rolls under an attempted double back elbow and tags Quentin Benjamin, who leaps to the top rope in a single bound and delivers a SPRINGBOARD CROSS BODY! ONE… TWO… DOUBLE KICKOUT! Benjamin pops to his feet and DROPKICKS CPA OFF THE APRON! MACKENZIE Mackenzie isn’t happy about what she’s seeing, but the thousands jammed inside the area are. Quentin grabs the Blonds by the head and brings them together for a painful meeting of the minds, knocking Blanchard out to the floor. Singleton staggers around in a world of hurt and walks into the arms of Benjamin for a slam. Quentin points to the corner and heads up top. But standing in his way of Simon is the Enterprise Director of Security CPA who dares Benjamin to tempt fate. And he does, first causing CPA to flinch by faking a jump, and then levels the big man with a FLYING CLOTHESLINE!! COLE Oh, yeah! The champs in control! Brock Ausstin steps in, having accepted the tag from Quentin, and press slams Simon onto CPA! Simon shakes off the cobwebs and frantically crawls to his corner, extending his hand to Ned. BLANCHARD SIMON Tag me. Wide-eyed, Blanchard puts on a tough guy act, threatening Brock with all kind of bodily harm but declines the tag because, in his words, “I don’t want to do that to you, son.” COACH Look at the compassion being shown by Ned. And people had the audacity to question his 2005 Father of the Year award. He’s a far better father than Alec Baldwin. COLE First of all, Ned bought that award at a flea market -- so I heard. Secondly, he knows Brock would kill him if they met. As usual, Ned’s passing off his responsibilities to somebody else. “KRISTA’S BITCH!” “KRISTA’S BITCH!” “KRISTA’S BITCH!” Ned directs Simon to CPA and covers his ears to block the chant aimed at him. Because our big men can work, the crowd buzzes in anticipation of a Brock-CPA clash. Unlike their last encounter, neither man is interested in testing strength so they engage in a slugfest! With CPA getting the worst of it he tackles Brock out to the floor. But that’s about as good as it gets for him, as Brock reverses his Irish whip and sends CPA crashing into the guardrail. Looking to follow-up with a clothesline Ausstin rumbles forward and eats a big boot to the face, and then is posted. Rather than toss Brock inside CPA goes for one more move and one move too many, smashing his shoulder into the ring post as Brock telegraphs his shoulder charge and moves aside! COACH That’s what I was talking about earlier. This was the concern of Teddy‘s. Inexperience as CPA is, he’ll overcompensate at times. And this is one team you don’t want to do that against because they’ll make you pay. COLE Well, you said it yourself -- it’s a gamble on Teddy’s behalf. COACH As long as CPA can avoid the chokehold Brock disguises as a submission maneuver, he’ll be fine. They would already be 6-man tag champions if not for the choke. No way are the officials going to give a rookie that call. Back inside the ring, Brock power slams CPA and covers, hooking the leg! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Ausstin raises CPA up to his feet, but on their way to the face corner CPA snags him out of nowhere and connects with a back suplex! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO!! CPA slams Brock in the center of the ring and tags Singleton, who soars through the air and drops the big elbow off the top! ONE… TWO… And Brock kicks out with authority! COLE My goodness, would you take a look at that! There is still a ton of fight left in the former Heartland Champion Brock Ausstin. Woozy, Brock resists an attempted snap mare, forcing Simon to call in Ned for help. Together the Blonds are able to get the job done, and then celebrate as though they just slammed Andre the Giant. Now that Brock is flat on his back Blanchard wants a piece of him. Simon obliges and the Handsome Hustler spikes the point of the elbow across Ausstin’s sternum. Ned snaps a shot of Brock clutching his chest on his imaginary camera phone, and receives a well placed kick to the gut for his arrogance. Blanchard responds by stomping a mudhole and walks it dry! COACH You talked about Brock having a lot of fight left in him. Well it’s all bark and no bite. Ned is the one doing all the biting. Ned taunts America’s Team as he sets Brock for a suplex, not your traditional suplex but a SLINGSHOT SUPLEX. Brock, however, has other things in mind. He blocks the slingshot and drops Blanchard down on the top rope! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!” Charlie Moss replaces Brock as the legal man and T-Bone’s Ned, lifting the Handsome Hustler overhead and planting him mid-ring with his variation of a suplex! ONE… TWO… SAVE BY SIMON! Moss rams Blanchard into the turnbuckle and whips him to the far corner, back dropping him out, then measures Ned for a super kick but every desperate housewife’s fantasy and every school girl’s dream lover takes a dive and seeks sanctuary in the ropes. A former rule breaker himself, Charlie lures Ned into a false sense of security and then storms ahead, only to be back dropped over the top rope near the Enterprise corner…but Moss lands on his feet and cold-cocks a charging Simon Singleton with a SUPERKICK! “YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Blanchard swings wildly at Moss, who ducks and thrusts his shoulder through the ropes and into Ned’s midsection. Charlie somersaults over the top, springing off Ned’s back, and grabs hold of the Handsome Hustler as he turns around…BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! ONE… TWO… THREE-- NO!! CPA BREAKS UP THE COUNT! COLE Should the Enterprise emerge victorious I’m sure Theodore Moneymaker will have a special cash bonus waiting for CPA. He just saved his team from sure defeat! No way would Blanchard have kicked out. You could almost hear the air knocked out of him following the belly-to-belly. Charlie Moss got him good. CPA does more than breakup the count, he also gets in a few blows on Moss, leading to a shoving match with America’s Team and Brock which the referee is quickly able to gain control of. The confrontation earns Ned a much needed breather, allowing him to thumb Moss in the eye once the ring clears. Blanchard hammers away and fires Moss off into the ropes, but towards the champions side of the squared circle, enabling America’s Team to make a blind tag. Ned misses a clothesline and gets annihilated with the DOUBLE GOOZLE! ONE… TWO… COLE Three! No! Two and only two! Simon again with the save, kicking Benjamin upside the head and still reeling from Moss’ super kick. Quentin sends Ned hard into the corner, causing him to shoot out and stumble into a hip toss. Benjamin follows up with a standing dropkick and covers! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! The agile collegiate standout shows off his hops, sending Ned back into the corner to connect on a Stinger Splash, but Blanchard remains standing. Another Stinger Splash yields the same result. Benjamin hopes third time’s the charm, but he ends up being caught in midair and dropped throat-first on the top rope, the recipient of a Hot Shot! COLE We might have new champions! Here’s the cover! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO!! Moss yanks Ned away! Mackenzie DeCenzo and the rest of the Enterprise ringside none too pleased about that. COACH That’s why Benjamin gets for being such a showboat. He went to the well one too many times and paid for it. A perfect example why the Beverly Hills Blonds have had multiple tag title reigns while America’s Team have none. COLE They won the Tag Team World Cup. COACH One year. COLE Is that the best comeback you have? COACH They got lucky! I think the Mexican team got picked up by INS prior to the tournament. They were my pick to win it all. COLE Give me a break, Coachman! Ned smashes Quentin’s face into Simon’s boot and tags out. Double whip in sees Blanchard drop toehold Benjamin as Singleton bounces off the ropes and delivers a leg drop. Rather than go for the pin Simon bashes and grinds his opponent’s face into the mat! Once he has his fun Simon and CPA swap legally swap places, but not before Simon whips Quentin into the ropes, leaving CPA to finish him off with a FRONT SPINEBUSTER SLAM! ONE… TWO…. SAVE BY BROCK! CPA goes on about his business as the referee escorts Brock to his corner. Wrapped in a bear hug Benjamin is rammed into the corner and worked over by a combination of heavy rights and shoulder thrusts. CPA whips Quentin to the far corner and sends him crashing down to earth via a MILITARY PRESS SLAM, which sets the stage (after a tag of course) for the Beverly Hills Blonds ROCKET LAUNCHER!! COACH They hit it! I told you we’d have new champions! ONE… TWO… THREE! NO!!! The Enterprise can’t believe it and neither can most of the fans, who break out in cheer after the initial shock wears off. Simon Singleton, the legal man, scoops Benjamin for a slam, but Quentin slips out and maneuvers him into the ropes, rolling back in a pinning combination! ONE… TWO… Simon kicks Benjamin forward and CPA clubs him across the back of the neck as he hit’s the ropes, and then Quentin gets spiked on his head courtesy of a DDT! ONE… TWO… THR-- KICKOUT! Frustration begins to creep in as the Enterprise complain of a slow count. Charlie Moss rallies the crowd behind Quentin by slapping the top turnbuckle, getting the fans to stomp their feet and clap their hands in unison. Singleton reintroduces Benjamin to the turnbuckle and slaps him, which only fires up Quentin as a jolt of adrenaline runs through his body, giving him the strength he needs to try and fight his way out of the Enterprise corner, but Simon tackles his legs and he is soon overwhelmed by Ned and CPA. An exchange is made and the Blonds send Quentin off for a ride, then straight up and down onto his stomach! COLE Double Feature flapjack! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Blanchard refuses to settle for anything less than a pin this moment, diving back on top of Benjamin. ONE… TWO… But Quentin kicks out again. ONE… TWO… And again! Benjamin’s face sustains another turnbuckle smash as Blanchard unloads in the corner, punching and chopping the hell out of Quentin. He shoots him off to the far side and connects with a back elbow, and then a succession of power forearms to the chest. Feeling he’s beaten the drive out of Benjamin’s system Ned goes for his Slingshot Suplex, but Quentin floats over and throws a SUPERKICK…but it’s block! Leg in hand Blanchard SPINS Benjamin around…and is drilled square between the eyes with a SPINNING HEEL KICK! “YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Blanchard may be out of it! What athleticism displayed by Quentin Benjamin! Now can he make the tag? He desperately needs to tag. The Enterprise have done quite the number of him. COACH I can’t help but think the Enterprise let a number of opportunities to put away the champions slip by. I mean, why won’t Benjamin stay down? Live to fight another day, young man. COLE The World 6-man tag team championship is what’s fueling Quentin Benjamin. Mackenzie screams at Ned to make the tag, but he’s still seeing stars and not those on his trunks. Benjamin, meanwhile, searches for his corner before using the remaining energy he has left to crawl to freedom. He spots Brock and Charlie reaching over the top rope. Brock damn near across the ring already because of his large frame. As Quentin nears the corner Ned knows he won’t have time to prevent the tag if he makes one myself, so he decides to go after Benjamin who feels the Handsome Hustler breathing up the rear and dives towards his corner, making the tag to… "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" …BROCK AUSSTIN!! BLANCHARD BROCK Brock hammers away on Ned, as Benjamin rolls to the floor, and Moss follows him out. Brock backs into the ropes, and delivers a clothesline! He then floors Simon with another clothesline! CPA gets some, as well! Brock roars out to the crowd, which goes wild! COLE Brock is like a bull in a china closet! COACH Brock sizes up CPA, and delivers a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COLE And Brock going for the quick kill here! COACH Where are Moss and Benjamin? Brock's fighting three guys by himself here! COLE Well, Benjamin hurt out on the floor, and Moss down to check on him, but Brock doesn't appear to need help in there right now! CPA rolls out to the floor, as Brock clotheslines Simon over the top rope! At this point...Rick Heyross begins to walk down the aisle? COLE Oh, wait a minute. Heyross approaches Moss and Benjamin in the aisleway, and Moss spots him. COACH Remember, we've seen Heyross in the ads for WDW Triumph, but what is he doing out here? Brock sets up Ned for the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111 COLE And Brock going for the finish, but now he's spotted Heyross at ringside! Brock stops for a second, and drops Ned to the mat. He then slowly walks toward the side of the ring...and Heyross takes off, as Brock gives chase! COLE And Brock hot on the trail of Rick Heyross! Brock and Heyross run a lap around the ring, then Heyross runs to the side of the ring opposite the aisleway...and leads Brock right into Moss and Benjamin, who DROP HIM WITH A DOUBLE FLATLINER~??? COACH WHOA! COLE What the hell? Moss and Benjamin hop up, as Benjamin flicks the sweat from his brow onto Brock. COLE What is this? Moss and Benjamin stare down Brock, and Heyross is shown applauding on the outside! COACH Have Moss and Benjamin joined with Rick Heyross once again? COLE And worse yet, Rick Heyross is a WDW affiliate! COACH I don't believe this one, Cole. Team Heyross leaves the ring along with Rick, as CPA comes to his senses, and plants Brock with the DOMINATOR~!!! COLE And the Dominator from CPA! Cover... 1... 2... COLE 3!!! COLE COACH NEW CHAMPS, BABY! BUFFER The winners of the match...and NEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW OAOAST Six-Man tag team champions...the BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS, and CEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE (lol!) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! The new champs celebrate with the belts, while Heyross, Moss and Benjamin celebrate an apparent reunion in the aisle. COLE I can't believe this! Have we seen the rebirth of Team Heyross? And what about their status with the OAOAST? COACH Well, I know about the Enterprise's status! New Six-man tag champs, baby! COLE Hopefully some liight will be shed on this next week, but right now that light is shining on CPA and the Beverly Hills Blonds, the new Six-Man tag champs! Let's go to... The (TV) screen goes black, and the following appears on the screen. The following announcement was paid for by World Domination Wrestling. Soft music accompanied by wind instruments plays, and a spotlight slowly raises over an all black wrestling ring with red ring ropes. (voiceover) In the beginning, the land was pure. Even in the early morning light, you could see the beauty in the forms of nature. Head shot of Alfdogg looking off into the distance. Soon men and women of every color... Shot of an Asian man doing martial arts poses in the shadows. And shape... Shot of an overweight tattooed man wearing colorful clothing. Would be here too. And they would find it all too easy sometimes not to see the colors... Shot of Chris Stevens smashing said tattooed man from behind with a mirror. ...and to ignore the beauty in each other. Shot of Alf delivering a beltshot to CWM. But they would never lose sight of the dream. Head shot of Stevens looking off into the distance. The bitter world that they could unite... Head shot of Axel staring off into the distance. And build together...in Triumph. As the last line is spoken, a camera shot from the ground is shown with a red tint, with Rick Heyross, Alfdogg, and Axel standing left to right and looking down into the camera smiling. The screen then fades into another announcement. World Domination Wrestling presents: WDW Triumph Coming Saturday, June 2 Can You Feel It? COMMERCIAL BREAK

PRL brings Zack up and drives a knee into his stomach, then wrenches his arm and pulls him backwards to the mat with a Russian legsweep. COLE The X Division Champion has Zack in a bad way right now, and...wait, hold on folks! The crowd rise to their feet, as in the midst of the melee on the floor, Jamie O'Hara has hopped on the apron and scrambled to the top rope, unbeknownst to anyone, friend or foe! COACH O'Hara's gonna FLY! Jamie readies himself, and then takes to the air like a jet airliner, twisting his body in ways thought unimaginable as he crashes on top of the pile of humanity at ringside with a CORKSCREW PLANCHA FROM THE TOP~! COLE He may not be the biggest man, but gravity does the rest for him, and just helped Jamie O'Hara wipe everyone out! Bodies are scattered at ringside, and PRL can't believe it, as he pitches a fit! Bringing Malibu to his feet once again, he quickly takes him over with a vertical suplex, but hangs on and rolls through, nailing a second one! COLE We've seen this enough times to know what he's going for! PRL rolls to his feet once again, lifting Zack up...but Malibu kicks his legs so that he falls back to earth! He pushes PRL backwards into the ropes, but PRL simply rebounds, running right into Zack, causing their heads to collide! PRL falls back through the ropes to the outside, while Zack falls to his knee, holding his head! COACH A few more moments like that and Advil will beg us to let them sponsor the show! Malibu gets to his feet and shakes it off. As he comes to, he notices PRL on the floor still dazed, so he takes the opportunity to bounce off the far side, gaining speed in his step before diving through the ropes, nailing Tha Puerto Rican with a tope that lays them both out on the floor! COLE We need air traffic control out here tonight! With the two legal men out on the floor, Vitamin X gets to his feet and tosses Caboose back into the ring. X puts the boots to the legendary star, but as he lifts him up, Caboose powers up and puts X over his shoulder, cradling his head before dropping down with the EMERALD FUSION~! to leave X looking at the lights! Caboose turns and glares at the hard camera, delivering a stoic look into the lens...until he's nailed from behind by Bone Thug and sent back out to the floor! Bone Thug does a little shuffle and poses for the crowd, proud of his work...but pride turns to a sense of fear as he backs up into a much larger, much angrier athlete...namely the Metrosexual Monster himself! Thug turns around, and then gets turned inside out by a lariat from the former 24/7 Champion! Bohemoth looks to the floor and then drags the limp body of Thug off the mat, tucking his head and elevating him onto his shoulders. COLE Bo, going for an electric chair move here... Bo gets Thug up, but instead of dropping him, he keeps him on his shoulders, stepping back further away from the ropes. The cameras cut to the floor now, and Jamie O'Hara, seeing what's going on, moves to the aisleway and gets a running start. He sprints down the aisle, leaping onto the back of Cuban Wall, who is pulling himself up on the apron, and from there leaps onto the top rope, springboarding in and taking Thug off the shoulders of the well-dressed brute with a huracanrana! COACH DAMN! The crowd comes alive, giving O'Hara a standing ovation for his daredevil offense, as Bo and J-OH give each other a quick congratulatory hug. COLE A double springboard rana eliminates Thug for the time being, and have you EVER seen a man like Jamie O'Hara! This kid is crazy! Down on the floor, Malibu is starting to get to his feet, not noticing that Popick looms behind him! The most hated of the original OAOAST superstars, Popick steals the chair from announcer Michael Buffer and cocks it in his hands, waiting to strike...but at the last second, it's pulled from his grasp by Caboose! SJ turns around and comes face to face with perhaps the man who hates him the most, and as he begs off, he winds up backing right into Malibu! COLE There is no love lost between Zack and Caboose and Stephen Joseph Popick, and I don't think SJ is going to get out of this one easily! SJ turns to face Zack, and Zack doesn't hesitate for a second before cracking him with a right hand! Popick spins around due to the impact of the blow, and finds himself met with another right hand, courtesy of Caboose! COACH They're ping-pongin' Popick, playa! Popick gets rattled from the multiple shots, and then Zack and Caboose take Popick and hurl him over the railing, into the front row of fans! COLE That might be even more dangerous for Popick than getting involved in the match! The OAOAST fans DESPISE him! Malibu gives Caboose a nod, thanking him for his help, but when Malibu returns his attention to PRL, he's struck down with a low blow from the Latin superstar! PRL quickly rolls Zack back into the ring and then heads to the top, not wasting any time in leaping off the top with his patented flying legdrop variation, the Mad Cappa Crusher 2006:The Remix...AND COMES UP SHORT! Malibu rolls out of the way just in time, leaving PRL's tailbone to take the brunt of the impact rather than himself! Zack brings himself to his feet and quickly hits the German Suplex, keeping the hold applied and seguing into his rolling suplexes, nailing PRL with a second German suplex! The second is followed by a third, and when Zack brings him up yet again, he attemps the ANGLE SLAM~!...but PRL falls out of his hands and collapses in his corner, tagging in Vitamin X before he falls! COLE A narrow escape for Tha Puerto Rican, who was just about to be finished off! X enters the ring, but is quickly hiptossed over by Malibu, who then runs the ropes and nails X with a diving clothesline! Zack rolls to his corner and makes a tag to the powerhouse Bohemoth, who is all too happy to oblige! Bohemoth comes in and strikes X dead (or at least close to it) with a murderous lariat, nearly decapitating him! Once again, the Crew strikes as Wall hits the ring first, but Bo catches him and spins around, drilling him with a spinebuster! With his back turned, Bo doesn't see Bone Thug springboarding off the ropes...but just as he comes down, Malibu sprints into the ring and NAILS HIM IN MID-AIR WITH A SCHOOL'S OUT~! COACH Now THAT'S what I call a save! Bo and Zack turn around to see PRL now, debating on what to do...but finally, he rushes the ring...and gets elevated with a double back bodydrop from the stars! PRL scrambles to his feet, but Zack takes him out of the ring with a lariat, putting him on the floor...and then Caboose follows with a running splash from the apron, crushing PRL as he stares up at the lights! COLE The Lightning Crew is being taken apart here tonight on HeldDOWN~! With the crew disposed of, Bo scoops Vitamin X up...but Lindsay gets up on the apron to distract...until Jamie O'Hara hops off the apron and makes his way over! After a second of staring at her ample ass, J yanks her off the apron, then slides out of the way just in time as Princess Stacey charges, leaving the two women in a pile on the floor, which surely excites many of our male fans. COACH THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' BOUT! COLE Hands where I can see 'em, Coach! Bo takes VX in his grasp and scoops him up now, using his brute force to spin X's body outward before driving him down into the canvas with his favored finisher, The Erotic Awakening of B! Bohemoth covers, and the rest of his team keep watch, but the LC is in no position to cause a disturbance, as Nick Patrick slaps his hand on the canvas. ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! COLE It's over! What a match we've just seen! "Liberate" hits, signalling the victory not just for Bohemoth but for Malibu, O'Hara and Caboose as well. The three men enter the ring and celebrate with Bo, while Vitamin X rolls out under the bottom rope, and even that causes an ache after what he's just endured. COACH The Lightning Crew may be a formidable force in this company, but the alliance forged between the four men in the ring proved to be the strongest tonight! The crowd comes to their feet with applause, as Malibu and O'Hara jump up on the ropes, while Caboose raises his cricket bat in the air and Bohemoth poses, showing off his huge, muscular form. On the outside, the battered remains of the Lightning Crew reassemble, once again having been sent from the ring by some of the OAOAST's finest. COLE What a great match to cap us off here tonight and lead us into this Saturday. For The Coach, I'm Michael Cole, and we will see all of you this Saturday for OAOAST Syndicated! Good night, everybody! FADE OUT!

When we return we're shown a full view of the "fantastic" Omaha cityscape, while Cole talks over the image. COLE Folks, welcome to the highest rated show in Sports Entertainment, oaoast HeldDOWN. I personally can not wait for Syndicated this weekend, please check your local listings to find out the exact time and date, I wouldn't anyone to miss what will be another amazing OAOAST production. We're transported backstage into the locker room area (never got that phrase, either it's the locker room or it ain't) where Bohemoth is busy lacing up his boots ready for the big 8-Man Tag Team Match later on tonight. Bo barely looks up as Josh Matthews walks in with a microphone at the ready, looking less then enthused about his latest job. MATTHEWS Er... Bo. Can we get a few words? Bo finishes up the knot before looking up. Just above the customary orange-tinted sunglasses is a heavy bandage on his forehead. MATTHEWS Last week, you fell victim to a chairshot from PRL for the second week in a row. PR seems to be pretty apologetic about both incidents, but you'll be facing him on Saturday night for the X-Division Championship nonetheless. Your thoughts? BOHEMOTH If PRL's apologising, it's because he knows that he's made the biggest mistake of his natural life. Lowering his sunglasses, Bo glares into the camera. BOHEMOTH Usually when someone hits me with a chair, they don't live to see a second chance. PRL better be grateful he made it this far. Because whether it's tonight or whether it's Saturday night, his ass is mine. And seeing as his hired help took my 24/7 Championship... his belt'll be mine as well. Bohemoth goes back to the pressing concern of his laces, not noticing that another person has entered the room. This person just happens to be decked out in baggy tracksuit pants and an equally baggy vesttop. And although his face is hid by a fitted Reebok cap, it's clear that it's JAMIE O'HARA barging his way past Matthews. O'HARA OI! You don't ave'ta worry 'bout Cuban Wall no more geezer. Coz after Sat'rday, that 24/7 belt's gonna be the property of the big J-OH~! BOHEMOTH Like the other stuff you steal? O'HARA Wot!? BOHEMOTH That's what you people do, right? O'Hara's lip curls as he thinks about taking a swipe at Bohemoth. Until, that is, Bo stands up with his laces dealt with. O'HARA Wot the fuck's that supposed to mean, prick? I ain't the bloody Repo Man! Naw son, I'm'a kick Cuban Wall's arse and I'm'a take that title, like you couldn't! You got a problem wi' that! Eh? Eh? BOHEMOTH Did you just call me 'son'? O'HARA Wot of it? BOHEMOTH Listen, if you wanna team me with me tonight, I suggest you shut your yapper. Otherwise, you'll end up like you did last time we teamed up. Flat on your face covered in blood. (Bo puts his glasses back on) But, for the record... good luck on Saturday. O'HARA Yeh... yeh, you too, I guess. That PRL's an even bigger prick than you. Bo manages a smile as he walks off out of the locker room, O'Hara left standing around realising that this isn't actually his locker room as we fade to something else. And that something else would be the announce team... COLE I don't know how those two are going to manage to be in the same ring tonight, but we'll find out in just a few short moments, as our mainevent is coming up next! COMMERCIAL BREAK And when we return from commercial break it appears that the participants in tonight's mainevent have already found their way into the ring during the commercial interruptions. The fans are of course exuberant with joy and excitement as they await the epic showdown to begin. *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds and on opposite sides of the ring, it's opposite stories really. On the one side, it seems like Caboose, Zack, O'Hara and Bohemoth are all more than happy to elect themselves to start the match. On the other? Well, let's just say everybody apart from Cuban Wall is already on the apron. Upon seeing Wall ready to go, O'Hara shoo's everyone else onto the apron. Which doesn't go down too well with Bohemoth, who points the Birmingham Bad Boy to the apron himself and glares down at him until O'Hara begrudgingly does exit, mumbling to himself as he shrugs past Bo. COLE If Bohemoth says he wants to start, if I'm... well anybody really, Bo is starting. So, it will be Bohemoth and Cuban Wall to kick it off here, the current and former 24/7 Champions. Bohemoth and Wall go nose to nose in the centre of the ring, before suddenly locking horns like two bulls, collar and elbow tie-up. The two bigmen jockey for position for a few seconds before breaking with neither gaining an advantage. So, they try again. Again the two men battle for supremacy over the collar and elbow lock-up, taking each other into a neutral corner. Wall is backed up against the buckles and the referee calls for a clean break. Bohemoth seems willing to oblige, but Cuban Wall shows typical disrespect for the rules as he throws a right hand...DUCKED! Bohemoth ducks the punch and as Wall turns around, he takes a right from Bo! Another! Another! And another, Bohemoth fighting his way out of the neutral corner and creating room to hit the ropes. With a full head of steam, Bo comes flying back with a shoulder tackle, which actually knocks the 24/7 Champion off his feet! COLE Bohemoth, all impact, all the time. And uh-oh... Suddenly, after hitting that shoulder block, Bohemoth is no longer interested in the man who took his 24/7 Title. Instead Bo's eyes lock on PRL, pointing a menacing finger at the X-Division Champion and making his way over to The Lightning Crew corner! Understandably, PRL freaks out and bails off the apron... ...just as Wall sneaks up on Bo and clubs him down from behind with a double axehandle! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE A bit of a loss of focus from the usual ice-cool Meterosexual Monster. And he paid for it right there. Wall clubs Bohemoth a couple more times as PRL continues to hang on the outside. Unaffected by all this, Wall sends Bohemoth off the ropes and knocks him down with a Big Boot, dropping down looking for the quick cover... 1... 2... Kickout. "P - R - SUCKS!" "P - R - SUCKS!" "P - R - SUCKS!" "P - R - SUCKS!" The crowd waste no time getting on Tha Puerto Rican's back now that he's at their level, Vitamin X turning around to protest with his Lightning Crew leader. Pulling Bohemoth up to his feet meanwhile, Wall again looks for an irish whip. However, a reversal causes PRL to hesitate over re-taking his position on the apron, as Bo first misses with a clothesline, but on the second attempt he meets Cuban Wall coming off the ropes, dropping him with a big Size 16 to the face! COLE Big, big Yakuza Kick! COACH That's kinda a dumb name. Because I'm sure when the Yakuza are after you they all run off a set of imaginary ropes and kick you in the face. COLE It's a kick in the face Coach, it doesn't need an accurate name. Bohemoth again turns his attentions to Tha Puerto Rican. But, rightly assuming that his chances of getting his hands on PRL under his own power this early are slim, he leaves him with a warning look before going over to his corner, where O'Hara finally gets the tag. "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE And our first preview of Syndicated coming up! Shuffling down the apron, O'Hara grips hold of the top rope, waiting on Wall to get back to his feet. Now back on the apron, PR joins Vitamin X in warning their fellow Lightning Crew member to watch out. But it does him little good, as Wall lumbers around right into the path of O'Hara and a Springboard Spinning Wheel Kick! Already shaken up, Wall gets knocked off his feet by the hundred, seventy pound Englishman, who takes confidence from that move and fearlessly encourages Wall to get back to his feet again. COACH Jamie's already doing better tonight than he did last week... As Wall reaches his feet, the still fearless O'Hara runs headlong at him... and directly into a huge Haymaker from the big Cuban which almost turns him completely inside out!! "OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE ...well, he was. COACH A lesson to all you kids out there, don't pick on people who are bigger than you. Pick on the runts. That's their place in life. COLE ... Still smarting a little from being knocked down moments ago, the growling Wall looks set to make O'Hara pay a little more. However, he's soon put back into line by Tha Puerto Rican, who pulls rank and demands the tag. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE And of course, now PRL wants in, with Bohemoth out and a prone opponent to work over. What a guy! PRL enters to a torrent of boos, swaggering over and laying in some shaky leg kicks on The Birmingham Bad Boy. He doesn't dare tease or taunt Bohemoth for fear of pissing him off. Or, pissing him off any more than he already has at least. Instead he concentrates on O'Hara, hauling him to his feet by his vesttop and landing a big Rock style punch. Only PR's grip on his baggy clothing keeps Jamie from going down, pulled upright again for a second Rock punch. Putting the badmouth on O'Hara, PRL then ducks behind, taking him up and down with a crisp Back Suplex. That puts J-OH in perfect position for PR to run the ropes, coming to a theatrical stop as he dusts off the shoulder and executes the always impressive Five Knuckle Shuffle! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" In an effort to show just how 'street' he is, PRL adopts some various b-boy poses over O'Hara's fallen body. To her credit, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez manages to hide her shame. "P - R - SUCKS!" "P - R - SUCKS!" "P - R - SUCKS!" "P - R - SUCKS!" COLE You know, for a Puerto Rican, PRL is amazingly white. COACH Well, that's the pot calling the kettle black. Or, white, I guess. Finally remembering that a wrestling match entails wrestling and not just posing, PRL finally snaps back into the real world and makes the tag to Vitamin X. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE A typically 'warm' reception for The X-Man here in Nebraska. Together X and PRL send O'Hara off the ropes with a double irish whip, locking hands and cutting him down with a double clothesline on his way back. Vitamin X shows his own lack of street cred as he then does the Shane O-Mac Shuffle to celebrate, almost drawing Caboose into the ring, if not for Zack holding him back. X takes great joy in taunting his opponent in just two days as he feeds his jaw, daring 'Boose to come in and take a free shot. Again Zack has to keep Caboose from losing his cool and he's left to remind The X-Man, "2 more days hotshot". Smirking, X just shrugs Caboose off and goes back after O'Hara... ...who has recovered enough to surprise X with a Jawbreaker! COACH Oh! COLE Boy, what a shame it'd be if Vitamin X had to have his jaw wired shut. COACH Don't joke about stuff like that! Away staggers The X-Man, as The J-Man (?) gets a sudden energy surge and darts at X, catching him AGAIN in the jaw, this time with a Busaiku Knee Kick! How can you kick with your knee? I dunno, ask KENTA. Point is, O'Hara does it and almost knocks Vitamin X's head off his shoulders in the process! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COACH Many more shots like that and Vitamin X might not even make it to Syndicated on Saturday! COLE Getting the excuses ready early, I see. Still relatively fresh, X is able to direct himself to his corner pretty quickly, albeit noticeably groggy. X reaches out for the tag, and it's Tha Puerto Rican who accepts the tag. However, as PRL darts in to get back on the attack on O'Hara, he comes to a screeching halt, as he sees the tag on the other side and the first introduction to the match for Zack Malibu! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Woah, how about this for a pair-off! Zack Malibu and Tha Puerto Rican, two men so synonimous with the OAOAST! Holding up his hands in an attempt to get Zack to hold up a second, it's clear PRL isn't too eager to pit his wits against the OAOAST's Poster Child. He calls a timeout, as Zack just stands in his corner, shoulders bowed forward, waiting for PRL to quit goofing around and get down to some action. "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" Zack waves his hands encouraging the fans in Omaha to chant even louder than they already were to begin with. This atmosphere doesn't seem to agree with Tha Puerto Rican though. And with his eyes darting around the arena, he decides to tag out to The Cuban Wall, exiting the ring and throwing his hands up in disgust with the thousands in attendance. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Well, I guess we shouldn't be too surprised by that. "PUER - TO PU - SSY!" "PUER - TO PU - SSY!" "PUER - TO PU - SSY!" "PUER - TO PU - SSY!" COACH Now, that's uncalled for! COLE Maybe... but you've gotta admit, these people are pretty quick. COACH Quick? Sure. Classy? Nuh-uh. COLE Well, this is what started it all in a way, Zack and Cuban Wall who's match last week turned into a bit of a schmooze. Having no similar problems to his boss, Wall happily encourages Malibu on. The pace has slowed down again now as Zack and Wall circle. PRL takes a swipe at Zack, and Zack's subsquent distraction costs him as Wall clobbers him from behind with a big clothesline, sending Zack crashing forward, throat-first across the middle rope!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Tha Puerto Rican holds his hands up 'innocently' when reprimanded by the referee, rightly telling him he didn't do anything wrong. Meanwhile Wall puts the boots to Zack, before placing one of those boots across Zack's windpipe and leaning down across the top rope! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOU..." Breaking the choke well in time, Wall now drags Zack to his feet and simply hangs him over the top rope, the ropes whiplashing Malibu right the way back into the centre of the ring! Momentum sends Malibu rolling through and to his feet. Which does him no good, as Wall follows up with another clothesline to drop The Franchise, for a cover... 1... 2... No! Wall pushes Zack back down onto his shoulders and placing his forearm across the handsome prep's nose, destroying the dreams of thousands of young girls (sanctity of marriage my BUTT!) by grinding it swiftly and sharply to the side! And a second time! And a third, trying to shred Zack's face like cheese through a cheese grater! Climbing back up, Wall then turns and shoves Jamie O'Hara off the apron, for no real reason other than to lure the hotheaded youngster into the ring while Vitamin X sneaks in and KNEEDROPS ZACK IN THE CROTCH!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Welp, looks like Jenna's gonna wind up an only child. COLE Is Cuban Wall the only man on this team who can fight someone face to face!? I mean, come on already! To both The Bone Thug and PRL's delight, Zack writhes in agony as X offers up a handshake and Wall... well, Wall punches X in the face. Hey, it's what he does. VITAMIN X OW! X meekly leaves the ring, although by now he's getting quite used to his tag partner punching him in the jaw so he doesn't seem too concerned about it. Meanwhile, Wall is again on the attack but this time on his opponent as he drops a big leg on Malibu, keeping it there until the referee finally rejoins the action and counts the fall... 1... 2... Kickout! "LET'S GO ZACK!" "LET'S GO ZACK!" "LET'S GO ZACK!" "LET'S GO ZACK!" The Omaha crowd attempt to make themselves a tenth man in this match and get behind Zack, as Wall roughly hauls him back to his feet and manhandles him back into a neutral corner. Pinned in the corner, Zack gets clubbed in the chest with a forearm. Wall then starts throwing soupbones all over The Franchise's body, despite the best protests of the referee to get out of the corner. All in due time, as eventually the barrage of punches ends and Wall whips Zack across the ring into the opposite corner of the ring. Zack nestles in the corner and finds himself stuck in the path of the Cuban Expressway, Wall thundering in after The Franchise... COACH CHOO CHOO! ...but Wall crashes into the buffers, aka the feet of Zack Malibu! Two boots in the chest send Wall stumbling back a few steps but he makes another move forward, only to take the boots again, this time getting caught in the side of the head. As the 24/7 Champion staggers backwards, Zack then hops to the middle rope and wears out the soles of his boots a little more with a Missile Dropkick off the 2nd floor to take Wall down! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Zack picks Cuban Wall up. He punches the OAOAST 24/7 Champion in the face several times, and then whips him into the ropes. Zack goes for a clothesline, but Wall ducks, bounces off the ropes, and flies with a flying clothesline knocking the Pissed Off Prep down! COLE Cuban Wall leaping off his feet with that move! COACH Get him, Wall! Show him what you got! Cuban Wall gets up, a smirk on his face. He bounces off the ropes once again, and hits Malibu with a legdrop! The crowd groans. Wall goes for the cover. 1...2...RIGHT SHOULDER UP! COACH He had him! He almost had him! Wall glares menacingly at Nick Patrick. But he's not one to complain (much), so he moves on, looking at The Lightning Crew corner for a partner to tag. The other 3 members of The LC have their hands out, so Wall walks over and makes the tag to Tha Puerto Rican! COLE And here we go! Zack Malibu and Tha Puerto Rican in the ring for the first time ever! The crowd responds with a mixture of boos and cheers as they greatly anticipate some physical contact between the two men unlike before. PRL walks with a swagger in his step and chuckles at Malibu's predicament. A LOUD “P.R. SUCKS!” chant starts up, which annoys The Corporate Champ. PRL SHUT UP! SHUT UP-A YA FACE! Tha Puerto Rican threatens violence to various members of the crowd, and then returns his attention to Malibu, lifting his left foot up and bringing it back down on Zack's face! He does another shaky leg kick to Malibu, before walking back over to his corner and tagging in The Bone Thug. This makes the crowd boo more! COLE That's it? We waited all this time for that!? COACH Hey, P.R.'s just saving his energy, is all! COLE I think PR just wants to get away from Zack as quick as possible, because he can return to his feet at any second! COACH Nonsense! What makes you think such gibberish? The Bone Thug continues where his cousin left off, stomping on Zack Malibu's body. Bone Thug picks Zack up and hammers him with right jabs to the face! “MAL-I-BU!” “MAL-I-BU!” “MAL-I-BU!” “MAL-I-BU!” COACH Look at this! The newest member of The Lightning Crew is in control of a former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! Doesn't this prove how great Bone Thug is? COLE The Bone Thug has impressed us greatly since he debuted back in February. COACH He's the future, Cole! I know he is! Bone Thug whips Zack Malibu into a neutral corner. Thug then walks on over to the opposite corner. COACH Uh-oh! Look out! Bone Thug charges forward...and NAILS Zack with a TURNBUCKLE YAKUZA KICK~! THE BONE THUG ARRIBA LA RAZA~! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” PRL, Cuban Wall, and Vitamin X applaud The Bone Thug. Bone Thug makes the tag to Cuban Wall. Wall enters the ring and demands that Bone Thug throw Zack to him. He does. Cuban Wall hoists The Franchise up in a fallaway slam position. Wall walks around the ring with Zack in his hands for a little bit, and then charges forward, hitting Zack's back against a turnbuckle corner! CW then charges forward again, this time heading to the opposite corner where Zack's back once again meets the turnbuckle! Wall then decides to head over to The Lightning Crew corner, where Zack's back meets a similar fate. Finally, Cuban Wall runs over to the babyface corner, where he makes sure Zack Malibu's back hits the turnbuckle for a fourth time. Cuban Wall finishes this off with a powerslam! Wall goes for the cover! It gets two. COACH Cuban Wall is showing Zack Malibu why he has his name! COLE The Lightning Crew has the advantage so far as they hope to score a major victory two days away from OAOAST Syndicated! CW is annoyed that that wasn't the finish. Zack is now groggy following the abuse at the hands of Wall. Cuban Wall stands up and picks Malibu up by his blond locks. Cuban Wall scoops Zack up, and gives him a bodyslam onto the mat! COLE A bodyslam from THAT man must hurt like hell! COACH You ain't kidding. You should try it sometime! Cuban Wall picks Zack Malibu up again. “ZACK!” “ZACK!” “ZACK!” “ZACK!” Cuban Wall punches Zack in the face. He measures him up, and punches him again! Wall with another punch—BLOCKED! Zack punches Wall in the face! He punches him again and again and again bringing the crowd to life! COLE Zack might be mounting the comeback! Cuban Wall punches Zack! Zack punches back! Back and forth they go, engaging in a slugfest in the middle of the ring! Zack gains the advantage, punching Wall towards the ropes! The crowd gets louder and louder with each punch, until Zack rolls through and tags in Caboose, which nearly causes the roof to explode! COLE And Caboose is in this match! Business is picking up! Caboose immediately attacks Cuban Wall, beating up the big man with rights and lefts! The punches stagger the big man, but do not make him fall. 'boose grabs Cuban Wall by his left hand and whips him into a neutral corner. Caboose charges forward and hits Cuban Wall with a clothesline! 'boose then grabs Wall by his head, and brings him down with a bulldog! COLE He brought him down! Caboose has brought down the 6'7” big man! COACH Oh crap! Don't let that old man show you up, Wall! You're bigger! Eat him alive! Caboose makes the tag to Jamie O'Hara! J-OH quickly climbs the top rope. COLE Look out, J-OH's gonna fly! This won't be good for Cuban Wall! J-OH positions himself on the top turnbuckle, and then soars off, hitting Wall with an impressive 630 Splash! COLE 630 Splash! How many people in this world can do that? Jamie O'Hara covers Cuban Wall. COLE Is this a preview of Syndicated this Saturday? 1... 2... 3 PRL kicks Jamie O'Hara in the back of his head! COACH Nice save by The Corporate Champ! PRL stomps on J-OH's back, and then picks him up. Jamie O'Hara fires with right hands to the face of Tha Puerto Rican! COACH AAH! What are you doing!? COLE He's fighting in this match, that's what! COACH Stop fighting! “The Birmingham Bad Boy” continues beating on “The Corporate Champion” in a 'rematch' from October's OAOAST Syndicated. O'Hara gives PRL an Irish whip—PRL reverses---J-OH reverses, and hits PRL with a Busaiku Knee Kick! COLE Busaiku Knee Kick by Jamie O'Hara! PRL crumbles to the mat, holding his left knee in pain. J-OH returns to Cuban Wall, picking the “Muscle” of The Lightning Crew up. He hits Wall with some left hands, and then bounces off the ropes right into a goozle~! COACH Yes! Yes! Do it Wall! But J-OH frantically kicks Cuban Wall in the gut, breaking the chokehold! O'Hara continues kicking Cuban Wall in the gut, and then bounces off the ropes-- --WHICH PRL HAS PULLED DOWN! Jamie O'Hara flies over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE And oh my! Jamie O'Hara took a nasty spill right there! COACH That was a NASTY spill! Just plain NASTY! The crowd boos loudly. Jamie O'Hara is in an awkward position on the outside, looking like an accordion. PRL, Vitamin X, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, Stephen Joseph Popick, and Cuban Wall laugh manically. The Bone Thug just looks on. COLE Jamie O'Hara is on the outside! The tides may be shifting! Who's gonna come out the winner? “The Birmingham Bad Boy” Jamie O'Hara starts to get up as we take a break. Commercial break We return to HeldDOWN~! with Vitamin X giving Jamie O'Hara a snap suplex, and then making the tag to Tha Puerto Rican. COLE Back on HeldDOWN~!, and fans, during the break, The Lightning Crew has remained in control, cutting Jamie O'Hara away from his corner! COACH That's wrestling 101, Mikey Cole! You gotta isolate the guy! THAT is how you get the pinfall! COLE Unless you're The Lightning Crew. Then cheating will do just fine! COACH Let's not start that again, Cole! PRL stomps on J-OH with his shaky leg kicks. A “P.R. SUCKS!” chant starts up. PRL picks O'Hara up and gives him some European Uppercuts. PRL then hits O'Hara with some CLUBBEIN'~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN'~! forearms. PRL then applies a facelock on O'Hara, but turns it into a vertical suplex. He rolls through, and hits Jamie with another vertical suplex! He rolls through again and lifts O'Hara up for a third vertical suplex, but this time, he simply holds him up in the air. COLE PRL going for one of his signature moves! PR holds O'Hara up in the air with one hand. He uses the other hand to do the “You can't see me!” hand gesture. P.R. walks to the ring ropes, drops O'Hara's stomach onto the top ring rope, and hits the slingshot suplex to complete the Corporate Trifecta. Afterwards, PRL applauds himself for a job well done. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH Wonderful. Absolutely splendid. TPR rolls through and makes the tag to Cuban Wall. Wall is cocky and confident as he enters the ring and picks J-OH up by his white vest top and baggy Nike tracksuit pants. Cuban Wall punches Jamie O'Hara squared in the nose! He does it again for good measure. The crowd is rooting for Jamie O'Hara to make the comeback, while Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, Princess Stacey and Popick nod in approval of Wall's work. COACH Cuban Wall is gonna knock Jamie O'Hara's head right off his shoulders! COLE He's hurting him so much that might actually happen! Cuban Wall gives J-OH an Irish whip into the ropes. He follows with a big boot. Cuban Wall goes for the cover! 1...2...KICK OUT! Cuban Wall silently mouths, “Damnit!” He then picks J-OH up. “J-OH!” *CLAP CLAP* “J-OH!” *CLAP CLAP* “J-OH!” *CLAP CLAP* “J-OH!” *CLAP CLAP* Wall drags J-OH by his hair over to The Lightning Crew corner where he makes the tag to The Bone Thug. Wall holds O'Hara in place, and Bone Thug kicks him in his stomach. Bone Thug punches J-OH in the face, scratching his eyes at one point! COLE Now come on! Bone Thug grabs Jamie O'Hara's right hand and twists it in an arm wringer. He then kicks J-OH in the face! Bone Thug curses out the lanky Brit in Spanish. Thug picks Jamie O'Hara up again and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. When J-OH returns, Bone Thug grabs him, lifts him up in the air, and lets him fall, but J-OH happens to land right on Bone Thug's left knee! “OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH Say goodnight, J-OH! HA HA HA HA! The Bone Thug rushes over and taunts Caboose, Zack Malibu, and Bohemoth. He then runs over and makes the tag to Vitamin X! The response is overwhelming negative. COACH Show some respect for Prince Vitamin! Vitamin X enters the ring and does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle just to piss off the fans. He waits for J-OH to get up. COACH Oh yeah. He's feeling it. He's feeling it. COLE The Lightning Crew doing a number on Jamie O'Hara! Vitamin X taunts O'Hara while Princess Stacey cheers him on. When O'Hara gets up, VX socks him with a right hand. Then another! X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, and then hits J-OH with a third right hand, knocking him down! VITAMIN X BOO-YAH~! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Prince Vitamin goes for the cover. ONE! TWO! THRE—TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! COLE Only a two count! Only a two count! VITAMIN X Come on ref! COLE Caboose staring a hole into Vitamin X! These two men will meet in a No Holds Barred Falls Count Anywhere Match this Saturday night on OAOAST Syndicated! COACH In 2 days, Prince Vitamin will slay the legend of Caboose! VX picks Jamie O'Hara up and whips him into the ropes. Dropkick! X goes for the cover. It gets two. The X-Man makes the tag to Tha Puerto Rican, doing so by doing a handshake that's so un-'street' it's unintentionally hilarious. COACH PR and Vitamin X are born thugs. COLE PR stomps on J-OH some more, using regular stomps this time. PRL grabs Jamie O'Hara by his head and runs with him toward the ropes. Once near the ropes, PRL jumps over the top and onto the floor while still holding on to J-OH's head. This causes O'Hara's neck to bounce off the top rope and J-OH falls to the mat! The Ricochet! COLE The Ricochet from Tha Puerto Rican! P.R. quickly runs up the ring steps and enters the ring. He waits for O'Hara to get up. Once J-OH is on his knees, P.R. rushes forward, leaping over J-OH, grabbing his head, and giving him a reverse necksnap on the way down! The Lightning Shock! COLE Oh my~! The Lightning Shock! PRL doing severe damage to that neck! PRL covers Jamie O'Hara, hooking his left leg. ONE! TWO! KICK OUT! COLE A close nearfall there! COACH Come on P.R.! You've got him! Go in for the kill! “J-OH!” “J-OH!” “J-OH!” “J-OH!” TPR mocks the crowd for cheering for J-OH. He spits in their general direction. The CORPORATE OAOAST X-Division Champion picks SuperJay up. He measures O'Hara, and then blasts him with a Rock-style punch to the temple. P.R.L. keeps on with the Rock punches, dazing the one-time OAOAST X-Division Champion. Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! BLOCKED! J-OH fires off with a punch! J-OH fires off with another punch! He keeps on punching and punching! And punching and punching! PRL punches back! J-OH returns the favor! COLE Jamie O'Hara might be feeling a second wind here! J-OH's punches rock The Corporate Champion! SuperJay does the “Come an' 'ave a go if you think you're 'ard enough!” gesture. He then gives PRL a whip into the ropes—NO--PRL reverses—J-OH bounces off the ropes. SPINNNNEEEEEEEEEEBUSSSSSSSSTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH~!!!! COACH Yes! Yes! Here it comes! COLE P.R. could be going for the IntenseZone Elbow! Indeed Cole, he is! The crowd stands up and boos, although there are cheers for the most electrifying move in professional wrestling. PR runs his mouth as he walks on over to where Jamie O'Hara is lying in the center of the ring. P.R. kicks Jamie's right hand onto his chest. He then removes his right elbow pad, spits on it, and then throws it down onto Jamie's face. P.R. does some weird hand signals, and then bounces off the ropes, leaps over J-OH, and then bounces off the opposite ropes. COACH It's now time for the most electrifying move in professional wrestling, the IntenseZone Elbow! PR stops in his tracks, points a menacing finger at Caboose, Zack Malibu, and Bohemoth, threatening to “lay the smackdown on all y'all candy-asses!” and then drops his right elbow onto Jamie O'Hara's body! COLE The IntenseZone Elbow! Could that be all? COACH Yes! Yes! PRL goes for the cover, hooking both of J-OH's legs! 1! 2! 3! KICK OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT~!!!! COACH WHAT!? THAT WASN'T IT! COLE Jamie O'Hara kicked out of the IntenseZone Elbow! COACH How could that be!? That was a slow count! COLE No it wasn't, Coach! COACH It was, I saw it! Somebody bring Thomas Rodriguez out here! He knows how to referee a match! PRL can't believe it either. But Nick Patrick only raises two fingers. The other 3 Lightning Crew members are pissed, while Zack, Caboose, and Bohemoth look on intently. Tha Puerto Rican looks at his Lightning Crew, and they all motion for him to continue the match. COACH All right, NOW it's PERSONAL! COLE Oh please shut up. PRL picks Jamie O'Hara up. A “J-OH!” chant starts up. PRL trash talks O'Hara when he gets up. O'Hara is having trouble maintaining his balance, standing on spaghetti legs now. P.R. reminds J-OH that he “Can't see him!” PRL cradles Jamie up, giving him a DDT! COLE PRL with the Esto Daño De La Cogida De La Voluntad! PRL with the cover! 1...2...Two count! PRL slaps the mat in frustration. MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ Don't get frustrated, baby! COACH Yeah, listen to your woman, P.R.! Boy, what I would give for some of that ass! COLE Your job? Your house? Your dignity? Oh wait, you don't have any of that! PR picks the weakened Jamie O'Hara up, taunting him and chuckling while doing so. PRL applies an abdominal stretch on J-OH! Popick approves of this. COLE PRL now really wrenching the back of Jamie O'Hara! The crowd tries to bring Jamie O'Hara back to life, but nothing seems to be working. P.R. cinches the hold tight. Nick Patrick checks on O'Hara. When he asks him if he gives up, J-OH responds with “Hell naw, dawg!” COLE PRL and Jamie O'Hara in the ring again for the first time since October of last year on an edition of OAOAST Syndicated where PRL defeated O'Hara by pulling on his tights! And at the time, we all thought PRL had changed for the better...but we would soon find out the truth. COACH Truly a great moment in his career. Zack Malibu slaps the top turnbuckle pad to get the crowd to clap in unison. It works, not surprisingly. PR taunts J-OH while applying the abdominal stretch. Then, P.R. holds hands with Vitamin X, which actually makes the abdominal stretch WORST for O'Hara! COLE Now come on! PRL and Vitamin X doing some cheating! Why isn't the ref stopping this? COACH They're not cheating, they're just holding hands! PRL loves Vitamin X...in a completely platonic way of course. Caboose can't stand to see Vitamin X cheat, so he enters the ring and attacks Vitamin X, knocking him off the ring apron! The crowd cheers! Nick Patrick holds Caboose back and scolds him for coming into the ring illegally. As Nick Patrick takes Caboose back to his corner, PRL sends Jamie O'Hara to The Lightning Crew corner where he proceeds to lay the smackdown on him! At the same time, The Bone Thug enters the ring and together, the two cousins stomp a mudhole in J-OH! Cuban Wall punches O'Hara from the ring apron too! The crowd boos! COLE The Lightning Crew using their gang tactics once again! COACH Hey, they're just taking advantage of the situation! No need to get your panties in a wad over it! COLE It's not right, and I wear thongs, thank you very much! COACH *Shudders* PR nails O'Hara with Rock-style punches to the temple. Zack Malibu and Bohemoth try to tell Nick Patrick what just happened, but by the time he turns around, PRL is the only one in the ring attacking Jamie O'Hara! COACH Hee hee, PRL's got this in the bag! “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican tags in The Bone Thug. Bone Thug quickly pulls J-OH out from the turnbuckle and punches him in the face, busting his nose! COLE Oh no. J-OH's nose might be broken! As blood starts coming out from Jamie O'Hara's nostrils, The Bone Thug strikes the former OAOAST Six-Man Tag Team Champion with rights and lefts! *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The Bone Thug whips Jamie O'Hara into the ropes. Thug goes for a clothesline. O'Hara ducks, stops in his tracks. *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The Bone Thug pokes Jamie O'Hara in his eyes! Bone Thug bounces off the ropes, and hits O'Hara with a step-up enziguiri! COLE Wow! What a shot! COACH If I knew Spanish, I would tell Bone Thug 'Marvelous! You're doing a great job!' O'Hara lies on the mat, holding his head and bloodied nose. The Bone Thug sneers at J-OH and says, “Repugnante poco pinchazo” which means “Nasty little prick” in Spanish. Bone Thug makes the tag to Cuban Wall to boos. COACH Oh yeah, the big guy's in this match again! COLE Oh boy. Jamie O'Hara's taken enough punishment in this match as it is! COACH There's no limit to how much you can punish Jamie O'Hara, Cole. COLE Oh will you stop? “P.R. SUCKS!” “P.R. SUCKS!” PRL motions to kick a fans' ass at ringside. Cuban Wall has a cocky smirk on his face as he enters the ring. CW lifts Jamie O'Hara up by his white vest top. Wall measures him up, and then punches him in the nose! O'Hara holds his already busted nose in pain. Cuban Wall then grabs O'Hara by his right arm and whips him into the ropes. O'Hara bounces off the ropes, and Wall follows with a Bossman Slam! Wall makes the cover. COLE 1! 2! No! COACH J-OH got KO'd on that one! The LC are tossing him around like a ragdoll! Wall pulls O'Hara up again, lifting him from under his arms and throwing him backwards into the corner! O'Hara slouches against the ropes, as they are the only thing keeping him on his feet, which is unfortunate since that enables Wall to crush him with a corner clothesline! Pleased with his actions, the rest of the Crew egg Wall on, while O'Hara's teammates watch on as their partner is decimated by the brutish 24/7 Champion. COLE O'Hara is in a bad way, and unless he can get to his corner, this can't end well! Wall pulls the near-lifeless high flyer out of the corner, and sets him up for a powerbomb. He easily lifts the youngster into the air, but O'Hara shows signs of life, frantically punching Wall as he's pulled up onto his shoulders! Wall staggers, trying to keep hold of O'Hara, but the punches serve their purpose, as O'Hara falls to the mat, landing on his feet, barely able to catch himself from falling! He rocks Wall with forearm shots, then tries a kick to the stomach, but finds his leg grabbed...only to follow up with an enzugiri! Wall staggers, so O'Hara blasts him with a jawbreaker, then hits the ropes...but when he does, Vitamin X kicks him in the lower back, cutting his comeback short! COLE Damn it! O'Hara stumbles forward, head dropped low, just as Wall recovers. Seeing O'Hara in a bad way, Wall again hoists him up for the powerbomb...only this time, JAMIE O'HARA SNAPS THE BIG MAN OVER WITH A HURACANRANA~!~! COACH YO~! The crowd comes alive, roaring wildly, as O'Hara starts crawling to his corner, while the Lightning Crew pick their jaws up off the floor. COLE Jamie O'Hara has got to get to his corner right now! It's do or die for the Birmingham Bad Boy! O'Hara struggles for his corner, upsetting the Crew enough that Bone Thug rushes in and drops an elbow across the back of his neck! Patrick will have none of it, and quickly ushers Thug out of the ring, giving him a stern warning as the fans also let him know what they thought of that move. Thug protests as he's sent back to the apron, as do the rest of the crew, making sure to keep Patrick caught up in their nonsense as Jamie recovers, crawling to the corner and tagging in CABOOSE! COACH He got the tag, and our boy 'Boose is in! The crowd explodes, as the OAOAST Original bursts into the ring, rocking a barely recovered Wall with a series of hard right hands...but when Nick Patrick turns around, he pushes Caboose aside and orders him out of the ring! Caboose glares at Patrick, but Patrick reminds him that he never saw a tag, and O'Hara needs to remain in the ring! COLE Come ON Patrick, deep down you have to know that you just got played! COACH Considering what he goes through with women, I don't know about that. COLE This...this is different, Coach! COACH You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? Caboose reluctantly gets back on the apron, while Wall brings O'Hara to the center of the ring and pounds him across the back with forearms before leading him to the LC corner and tagging in PRL! The leader of the crew steps into the ring and delivers a kick to O'Hara's ribs while he's held by Wall, then snapmares him over and wrenches on his neck. COLE Now that the dirty work is done, here comes the fearless leader to take over! COACH Sarcastic much, Mikey? I think I'm starting to rub off on you. PRL works the neck, looking at the fan favorites corner and sneering while the crowd rallies behind Jamie. Before a comeback can be mounted, PRL picks Jamie up and hits a scoop slam...or at least that's what he tries to do, as Jamie slips out behind him and shoves him to the ropes, nailing him with a great dropkick as he comes back at him! Jamie hobbles towards his corner, as Tha Puerto Rican rolls to his feet, holding his jaw. He lunges for Jamie, but O'Hara leaps forward, diving towards his corner and slapping one of the extended hands of his teammates... ...TAGGING ZACK MALIBU~! COACH Oooooooooooooooooh boy. The crowd ROARS as Malibu slingshots over the ropes and approaches the X Division Champion, who is wishing his was anywhere except in the position he now finds himself in. Malibu approaches as PRL attemtps to beg off, but then he takes a cheapshot at the former World Champion! Malibu blocks the shot and fires back, delivering a trilogy of right hands before sending PRL into the ropes and catching him on the rebound with an inverted atomic drop, and follows up with a discus clothesline that sends him to the canvas! The crowd goes WILD (especially a fan made up in Insane Clown Posse facepaint, weilding a WE LOVE ZACK sign and the black man next to him pumping his fists wildly) as Malibu works them up even more! Seeing the boss in a bad way, the rest of the crew charge into the ring at Zack, but Malibu is a house of fire, nailing everyone in sight! Bone Thug gets nailed, and then Zack takes him by the head and leads him across the ring, hurling him out to the floor at the feet of Stephen Joseph! Bohemoth rushes into the ring and nails Vitamin X with a clothesline, sending him over the ropes and to the floor as well, while Caboose and O'Hara nail a double clothesline that topples the big Wall over the ropes as well! COLE They're clearing out the crew, and it's just Zack Malibu and Tha Puerto Rican now! It's mayhem on the floor, as both teams brawl around ringside! The women of the Crew (and Popick, although you can lump him in with them I guess ) get involved as well, trying to use the numbers against the babyfaces. In the ring is where the real focus is though, as Tha Puerto Rican staggers to his feet, only to be taken by Malibu into a German Su...NO! PRL floats over and quickly spins Zack around, hitting him with a Northern Lights suplex! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT!

hey are there supposed to be entrances in this match? I'll just go ahead and post it, and ya'll can edit them in later or something.

And now, the sparely used OAOAST BACKTRAKER! Last Thursday COLE Welcome back, fans. Michael Cole and the Coach at Sofa Central. And Coach, the video we just saw wasn’t the only newsworthy event of one week ago. COACH Surprise, surprise, it seems our friend Holly-Wood has caught the lust bug yet again. It was Ned Blanchard two years ago, Big Frank Bruiser last year, and now Rico de Janerio. The woman is a nymphomaniac, Cole. COLE How dare you! She’s a married woman! COACH Obviously not a happily married woman, or she wouldn’t have been drooling all over Rico. His eyes melted her heart AND her panties! COLE I can’t believe the words coming out of your mouth. Anyway, fans, the other newsworthy event I alluded to occurred in our tag team battle royal main event last week. As the guys in the trunk cue the footage, at the conclusion of the clip we’ll show you an incident captured on tape as our production crew disassembled the backstage interview set. Last Week Later that Night The video cuts to the Heavenly Rockers and Holly-Wood near the Gorilla position. Logan paces uncontrollably, clutching the side of his face, as his wife stands by her Mann. Synth the calmer of the two but anxious himself. Their souls just about exit their bodies as the LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS return backstage following their elimination from the battle royal. MELODY (gasp) Hey you guys! LOGAN We got a problem. A BIG problem! BARON I reckon it relates to Holly and the battle royal. LOGAN What I have to say doesn‘t concern Holly. As far as that goes, I’m cool with that. You were there when I wasn’t. Even if you weren’t I’m confident she would’ve been okay. They don’t call her the “Angel of Death” for nothing. She doesn’t need a man to protect her at all times. I want to talk about the battle royal. JOCK Look… LOGAN No, you listen. A few weeks ago we told you by sticking your nose in our affairs that you would become the target of teams that don’t see eye to eye with the Heavenly Rockers. Now you can add the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew to your list. But as of their actions towards Holly, we got beef with them too. And by eliminating me and therefore the Heavenly Rockers from the battle royal, we didn’t have much time to inflict the kind of hotel damage to our enemies that we prefer. However, HOWEVER…it took balls for you to do what you did. And we like people with balls. Those are the type we know we can go to hell and back with. We might come back missing an arm or a leg, but as long as I got the tongue that would make Gene Simmons blush… SYNTH And as long as moi has his penis… A comment that makes Melody blush. LOGAN …then all’s fair in love and war. MELODY So are you saying we’re still friends? LOGAN I’m saying the Heavenly Rockers and Lone Star Gunslingers are cool. MELODY Eek! This is the perfect segue to formally invite you to the coolest and most bombastic LAN party known to man or alien. Anyone of you guys play Halo? BARON SYNTH The Heavenly Rockers sometimes wear one. MELODY We are gonna have so much fun! On that giddy note from Canada's favorite geek we go to a shill from Terry Taylor and Melody's sister Maggie in the OAOAST Action Zone! TERRY TAYLOR Fans, this weekend the OAOAST brings to you another one of it's revolutionary television shows, OAOAST Syndicated! MAGGIE NERDLY Yeah, this time we're jumpin off from the STL, St.Louis. It's a real midwest thang, so grab your toasted ravioli, your Fitz Root beer and get ready for the craziest show in sports entertainment. Tha Puerto Rican defends his X title against Bohemoth. And that dude's arm is as big as my car, Puerto's a dead man, Terry. TAYLOR I wouldn't write him off too quickly, he's proven he can handle tough foes. Also Caboose will battle one on one against Vitamin X in Falls Count Anywhere match. You'll want to put your kids to bed for that one! It's gonna get bloody. MAGGIE Just the way we like in the o-a-o. And Cuban Wall will lay his 24/7 title on the line against Jamie O'Hara. TAYLOR Jamie has a heart as big as his mouth, but I don't know if it will be enough to best Cuban Wall. MAGGIE We'll all just have to wait and see this weekend on Syndicated! Peace! COMMERCIAL BREAK While we wait for HD! to return, patty would like 2 say fuk bonds and fuck all Giants especially Barry Zito, that uggg fagott. get ya wet wipes bitch. BLINDFOLD MATCH The lights go down in the arena. A Puerto Rican flag appears on the AngleTron. In big white blocky letters, the following words appear on the screen, with Tha Puerto Rican saying them: *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role '99" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and booing. PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" throughout the song, while smoke fills the entrance stage and strobe lights appear on the entrance set. A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and out through the smoke comes "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Well, we are about to get a visit from The Corporate Champ. COACH You say that like it's a bad thing. COLE For a lot of people, it is. PR looks at the crowd in disgust, jawing with some fans. Decked out in his Corporate suit, Tha Puerto Rican raises the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt over his head with his left hand. He then slings the belt over his left shoulder, and picks up his black spray-painted briefcase which contains his Golden Contract with his right hand. He begins walking down the entrance ramp. COLE Later tonight, PRL will be involved in the MEGA SUPER HUGE 8-Man Tag Team Match in our main event! And this Saturday night, he will lock horns with Bohemoth, one-on-one, for the OAOAST X-Division Championship! COACH Bohemoth has no idea what he's getting himself into on Saturday! He might think that PRL's dead meat, but no way, Jose. The Corporate Champ will prevail to keep his Corporate X-Division Title! COLE Again with the Corporate crap. COACH It's not Corporate crap! Don't make me kick your un-corporate ass! Chants of "P.R. SUCKS!" fill the arena as Tha Puerto Rican gets on the ring apron and sneers at the crowd. Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring. He spins around; soaking in the fans boos while "Know Your Role '99" continues playing over the P.A. system. Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose. The crowd is still booing loudly and chanting "P.R. SUCKS!" PRL heads to a second turnbuckle and raises both his title and his briefcase. He then heads to another second turnbuckle and raises both items again. PR hits a third second turnbuckle, and raises the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt with his right hand in the air and "smells the electricity" ala The Rock. PRL does the same Rock pose on the fourth second turnbuckle, receiving boos. Tha Puerto Rican gets off the ropes and calls for a microphone as the lights go back on in the arena. OLE Apparently PRL has got something to say now. COACH I can't wait. The man's a GOD on the microphone! Everything he says is poetry! COLE It's something alright! COACH You don't get poetry. You're just a plebeian! PRL grabs a microphone as “Know Your Role '99” dies down. “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN So everyone thinks that Saturday night will be my judgment day, right? “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” THA PUERTO RICAN Well, I'm sorry to say, but if you're tuning into OAOAST Syndicated this Saturday night in primetime, then you're going to be in for a disappointment! Because the only manslaughter you'll see in 2 days is me taking my size 10 foot and laying the smackdown on Bohemoth's braindead candy ass! The crowd boos. PRL paces back and forth with the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt clipped over his left shoulder, the microphone in his left hand and carrying his black spray-painted briefcase with his right hand. PRL Look, I've apologized for hitting Bohemoth with the chair the *first* time. I had absolutely NO intention of striking him that time. But last week...well, last week was a different story! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” TPR Last week, I WANTED to hit Bohemoth, and you know? I did a DAMN GOOD JOB doing so! I did what no one expected me to do. I brought the monster, the 6'7” 284 pound “Metrosexual Monster” to his knees! And not only that, but I made him BLEED! Yes, in the end, it was ME, Tha Puerto Rican, not Cuban Wall, not Deon Black, not Jumbo, not Mr. Boricua, not even Giblaltar, that took Bohemoth down and made him into a little BITCH! COACH Well he did surprise everybody! You can't deny that! COLE I don't know about the end of that sentence though. PRL Now... “P.R. SUCKS!” “P.R. SUCKS!” “P.R. SUCKS!” “P.R. SUCKS!” PRL If you keep chanting that, then I may just have to come out into the audience and show all your mothers and sisters and girlfriends and wives just how much I DON'T SUCK! “P.R. SUCKS!” “P.R. SUCKS!” “P.R. SUCKS!” “P.R. SUCKS!” COACH He'll do it too. PRL's a man who backs up his threats! COLE HA! Tha Puerto Rican sneers at the crowd. He mouths something obscene at the fans and then continues speaking. PR As I was saying before I was so RUDELY interrupted, Bohemoth, on OAOAST Syndicated, you're bad streak is going to continue. First, Cuban Wall took your 24/7 Title! Then I knocked you out with a chair! Then I knocked you out with a chair AGAIN, and this time busted you open! Now on Saturday night, in front of the millions-- “AND MILLIONS!” PRL ...Don't do that. Like I said, this Saturday night in front of the millions and millions of Tha Puerto Rican's fans, I am going to extend your crappy streak further when I beat you 1-2-3 in the middle of the ring to retain my PRESTIGIOUS CORPORATE X-Division Title! And big guy, I hope you are ready, because after Saturday night, after you step into the war zone with me, you might have just a few more bandages on your body! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! COLE P.R. talks a big game. He'll have a chance to prove it this Saturday! PRL My match with Bohemoth will not be for the weak of heart. So please put the little brats to bed before our match takes place. Vitamin X might have a match being marketed as a No Holds Barred Falls Count Anywhere Match, but don't be surprise if our match doesn't stay in the ring, because I will use everything in my power to make sure that Bohemoth's match this Saturday on OAOAST Syndicated will be the LAST MATCH OF HIS CAREER! It's not going to be pretty, and I LIKE IT THAT WAY! The first time it was one chairshot! The second time was two charishots! The third time, Bohemoth, I don't care what it takes! It could be a damn mack truck! One things for sure, Bohemoth, this Saturday on OAOAST Syndicated, “The Corporate Champion” will be standing tall! Bohemoth will be flat on his back! And Tha Puerto Rican, The P.R. Menace, will dance all over his corpse and spit on his grave! THE CHAMP HAS SPO-- *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* The crowd EXPLODES as “Liberate” by Disturbed begins playing. The entrance doors slide open, and Bohemoth himself comes out. In one of his pimp suits, Bo plays to the crowd and then points a menacing finger at Tha Puerto Rican. PRL is speechless. COLE Uh-oh! Bohemoth is out here! And so is PRL! Bohemoth looks at the crowd...and then runs down the entrance ramp and slides into the ring! PRL quickly leaves the ring himself, causing the crowd to boo! COLE And once again, PRL escapes Bohemoth's grasp! COACH He's saving himself up for Saturday, Cole! That's all! COLE He better hope Bohemoth doesn't get his hand on him later on tonight in the 8-Man Tag Team Match! PRL walks around ringside, wagging a finger and going, “No! Not now! Not now!” He walks up the entrance ramp, staring at Bohemoth who stares back. Just then, the crowd starts booing loudly as from the crowd, Cuban Wall appears, climbing over the top rope and entering the ring! COLE Look! Look! Cuban Wall turns Bohemoth around and grabs his throat! However, Bohemoth kicks Wall in his gut several times, breaking the goozle! He then starts punching Wall in his face! COLE Bohemoth is fighting back! Wall is in trouble! Bohemoth engages in a slugfest with Cuban Wall! Back and forth they go, until Bohemoth gains the advantage! Wall is dazed and confused as Bohemoth grabs him and whips him into the ropes—Wall reverses—Bohemoth goes over the top rope and onto the floor when PRL grabs the top rope! HOWEVER, Bohemoth lands on his feet! PRL Oh no! COLE PR didn't want that! Bohemoth grabs PRL's throat with his bare hands! COLE Yes! Yes! But Mr. Boricua hammers him from behind, allowing PRL to escape! COLE Oh damnit! COACH And you say I'M biased? REALLY!? Mr. Boricua beats on Bohemoth, garnering boos! Soon, The Bone Thug joins in on the beating! The two Lightning Crew members beat on “The Metrosexual Monster”, causing the crowd to chant his name. “BO-HE-MOTH!” “BO-HE-MOTH!” “BO-HE-MOTH!” “BO-HE-MOTH!” COLE Bohemoth is in trouble! He's being manhandled by two men! Mr. Boricua goes for a punch—BLOCKED! Bohemoth fires off with a punch! He fires off with another one! And another one! Bohemoth spears Mr. Boricua into a barricade! He then punches him some more! COLE Bohemoth has struck back! The Lightning Crew can't seem to keep him down for long! Bo attacks Mr. Boricua, and then turns his attention to The Bone Thug, grabbing him and throwing him onto the floor! COACH Look out Bone Thug! Dammit, how do you say 'look out' in Spanish? The crowd cheers as Bohemoth stalks Bone Thug on the floor with a smile on his face. *WHAM!* PRL ATTACKS BOHEMOTH FROM BEHIND WITH THE STEEL CHAIR! COLE Again! For the third time! PRL hits Bohemoth in the back with the chair again! COACH Make that a FOURTH time, Cole! The crowd boos loudly! Bohemoth collapses onto the floor! PRL has a look of RAGE on his face as he watches Bohemoth on the ground. COLE Bohemoth is down! PRL got him with the chair again! COACH This is just a little preview of Saturday, Cole! Bohemoth is dead meat! Bohemoth slowly gets to his knees. He crawls around the ringside area, severely weaken by the chairshots. PRL makes things worst by hitting Bohemoth in the back with the chair again! COACH FIVE TIMES! That's five times, Mikey! How many men can say that they've done that before? HOW MANY!? COLE Bohemoth is in a bad way here! COACH Thanks to Tha Puerto Rican! COLE And a chair. COACH But more importantly Tha Puerto Rican! COLE And a chair. COACH Shut up, Cole. Bohemoth is only stopped for a few seconds, before he starts moving again. PRL takes this as a sign to leave running up the entrance ramp with the steel chair in his hands. Mr. Boricua and The Bone Thug follow him. COACH PRL keeps using chairs as weapons! I think he's found Bohemoth's kryptonite! COLE PRL has managed to bring Bohemoth to his knees, AGAIN! And they're still going to meet each other later on tonight! COACH The 8-Man Tag Team Match is going to be AWESOME! COLE It will be, and it is going to happen later on tonight on HeldDOWN~! “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican, Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug, and Cuban Wall walk up the entrance ramp. Cuban Wall has brought PRL his black spray-painted briefcase and the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt. PRL has the steel chair in his hands. Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua smile evilly. PRL stares at Bohemoth crawling at ringside in pain. The Bone Thug also stares. Bohemoth starts to get to his feet using the ring apron for help as we go to commercials. FADE OUT The camera cuts to the backstage area where Josh “J. Math” Matthews is standing by. “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican is walking back to his dressing room. JOSH MATTHEWS P.R.! P.R.! Wait? “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN What is it, Josh? J. MATH P.R., I want to know...what were you thinking hitting Bohemoth with a chair? Again? Are you thinking straight? PR chuckles. THA PUERTO RICAN Am I thinking straight? Am I thinking straight!? Josh...my mind has never been clearer! I get it now! I finally get it! You see, for two years now, people have been led to believe that Bohemoth was some kind of mythical beast. That he's a machine, a monster, a cyborg, whatever! But Josh, all those people were doing were simply buying into the hype! They BELIEVED he was a monster! They BELIEVED that he was immortal! And Josh, for two years, I was one of those people. I believed that Bohemoth couldn't be stopped. I believed that Bohemoth was unbeatable. But then something happened... PRL holds up the steel chair he just used on Bohemoth. PRL I took him down. I. Took. Bohemoth. Out! I busted him open! I made him BLEED! I DID IT! ME! THA PUERTO RICAN! And then, suddenly, the hype was gone. The myth had disappeared. And I finally realized something. Bohemoth isn't a god! He isn't a monster! No! Bohemoth is human! And humans can be hurt. Humans can be feel pain. Humans...can bleed. And I did all those things to Bohemoth. And I intend to do more of the same this Saturday night on OAOAST Syndicated when I put my OAOAST X-Division Title on the line against him one-on-one! Bohemoth is in for the fight of his life this Saturday! If he thinks I'm just gonna roll over and die, HE'S GOT ANOTHER THING COMING! For it will be ME who does the killing this Saturday! I've drawn first blood, and on OAOAST Syndicated in two days, I will draw last blood. IF BOHEMOTH CAN BLEED, BOHEMOTH CAN DIE! PRL walks away, bumping Josh Matthews while doing so. The crowd boos. COLE PRL set to defend his X-Division Title for the first time against Bohemoth this Saturday night on OAOAST Syndicated in primetime! But later tonight, PRL will lead The Lightning Crew into battle against a team that features Bohemoth in addition to Zack Malibu, Caboose, and Jamie O'Hara! What an 8-Man Tag Team Match that's going to be!