Patty O'Green

We fly backstage where Mean Gene Okerlund is positioned in the designated interview area, which features little more then a cardboard sign with the words “intrpew airea” written in crayon taped to the wall. Hooray budget cuts! “MEAN” GENE OKERLUND Ladies and gentlemen, Gene Okerlund with you, about be joined by the team that recently earned the dubious distinction of being the shortest reigning world tag team champions in history at a time of ten minutes and twenty two seconds, The South Central Militia. Gentlemen, if you would please. The Militia saunters on the scene, an apathetic swagger evident in their deliberate steps. Marcellus Wallace's thick frame is housed in a pair of grey denim jeans, and a white tanktop. Vincent, sporting a leopard print cowboy and dark sunglasses over his green eyes, goes with a jeans only look, showcasing his twig like upper body. OKERLUND Gentlemen, last week, after going two years in the OAOAST without a tag team title shot you tasted the sweet honey of success, winning your first ever championship belt. But only ten minutes later, you swallowed the bitter pill of failure, dropping that title to the previous champions, Chicks Over Dicks. Many, would say you got what you deserved after earning your very brief reign through illicit means. But, I would very much like to explore your inner emotions during those chaotic seconds. When was the exact moment that you knew that your joyous moment was about go so terribly wrong? WALLACE I knew business was foul when I saw jester ass, Krusty the Clown whiteboy Anglesault walk on out. Never trust a dude who got himself a little bit of power, black, white, Puerto Rican, or Mexican. I learned my lesson listening to P.Diddy. That crazy fur coat wearing fool had me out there in 04 registerin' to vote for president. The cracker I picked didn't even win shit. Now these white people know where I live. I'm in the hood, I'm on the run. I'm a six foot seven nigga hidin out, and that ain't easy to do, especially when Diddy got you giving these crackers yo real name and social security number, talkin' about rockin some vote or some shit. Fuck a vote, rock me my bail money, nigga. OKERLUND Vincent Santana, your thoughts on losing your titles back to Chicks Over Dicks the same night that you won them. VINCENT We ain't got a whole lot to say, Okerlund, except this tag team gold issue ain't deaded. We ain't just gonna leave it alone like that. When those bitches came back in January, everyone was welcoming this, welcoming that. As far as we was concerned they weren't welcome in the first place, how we welcome 'em back? But we kept it cool, and just played the game like any other playa out there, waitin for our time to get our shine on. When that time came we put muscle to hustle, and made it happen. But what god giveth Anglesault taketh away, and just like that we ain't got the gold, we ain't got the cash, and we just some poor ass folks still trying to crawl our way out the hood. Now we gonna give those ho's a belated welcome. Tell 'em we gonna snatch that gold right from they waist, let our boys run a train on 'em, then leave they brains splattered out on the trolley track. OKERLUND That is repulsive! You should be ashamed of yourself. WALLACE It ain't make no difference if you a nigga or you a ho, once you got beef with the Militia, you gonna get dealt with. Whether you a hood from the hood, or a Celebrity from Hollywood, you gonna get yours. M.O.B, money over bitches. Just the way beef jumps off with the SCM VINCENT Tell 'em what beef with the SCM is, One-Eye. WALLACE What's beef? Beef is when it ain't safe to walk ya own streets. Beef is when you gotta get chauffeured around town inside a bullet proof jeep. Beef is when your daughter got to walk to school wit a team of them bodyguards. Beef is when you sleep with one eye open and one hand on a nine. Beef is when the FBI advises you not to leave ya house after dark. Beef is when you walk down the street lookin over ya shoulder, wonderin if ya next breath is about to be ya last. What's beef? That's beef. VINCENT How we settle beef? WALLACE We settle beef the way real niggas settle beef, on the street, with fists, and heat. OKERLUND And what does that mean? VINCENT That means we got a plan. With that mysterious warning, The SCM gruffly departs the scene, leaving Mean Gene to ponder what they have in store.

Melody will search out men dumb enough to take her on as a manager. The SCM will represent the voice of the streets, as they discuss what it's like to be the shortest reigning tag team champions in OAOAST history. And Chicks Over Dicks will have what is likely to be a very short match with Los Conquestiadors. So short, this post may be longer then the actual match.

Team Name: The South Central Militia Name: Marcellus "One-Eye" Wallace (think of a taller Mike Tyson) Aliases: "One-Eye", 'Cell, Moe Age: 27 Height: 6'2 Weight: 250lbs Hometown: South Central, L.A. (Los Angeles, CA) Alignment: Heel Stable affiliation (if any): The South Central Militia, along with his tag team partner Vincent Santana Wrestling style (brawler, cruiserweight, technical, all-rounder, etc.): Brawler. He's from the streets, so he loves to brawl...very little pure wrestling skill. Theme music: Tupac "Dopefiend's Diner" Entrance Style (what color pyro, spotlights, etc.): Dark blue lights flash across the entry way, as the stage fills with smoke. Through the haze steps the SCM, Vincent letting out a primal roar, while One Eye flashes gang signs. They make their way to the ring, talking trash to the jeering crowd. Entrance attire (sunglasses, robe, jacket, etc): Sunglasses and black tank top Ring attire: Black patch over right eye, gloves on both hands, Artful Dodger jeans with a blue gothic design on the side, and steel-toe boots Finishing Move(s) (try to keep it to 1 or 2): POS (Piece of Shit)- Lift-Up Double-arm DDT Signature Moves (ex: Shining Wizard, Rolling Germans, etc.): Concrete Grave- Alabama Slam South Central Slam- Falling Powerslam/World's Strongest Slam Silver Bullet- Samoan Spike Giant Swing Full Nelson Slam Running Knee Strike (Regal style) Basic moveset: Mostly street brawling. Roughneck, I guess. Manager/valet/sidekick: None. If involved in singles competition, his partner will accompany him to the ring. Catchphrases/Trademark gestures: "Don't believe the hype" (referring to OAOAST brass marketing others as superstars) "The Man?! You're lookin' at the man!" History/Background/Career Highlights: Growing up in the projects with his mother, father and sister, Marcellus "One-Eye" Wallace has endured a lot during his 26 years on this earth. One fateful night in 1996, Marcellus and his family were caught in the crossfire of a gun battle between rival gangs, killing his father and wounding his mother and 14-year-old sister Shyanna. With the death of his father, Marcellus became the "man of the house." After being turned down for every job applied for, and badly needing income, Wallace did the unthinkable -- he pimp'd out his own sister. On Feburary 14, 1997, Valentine's Day, Wallace was confronted by another pimp and his 3 bodyguards. The pimp claimed Shyanna was now his property but Marcellus had none of that. The two argued, then the pimp and 2 of his bodyguards attacked Marcellus while the third bodyguard held Shyanna back. The two bodyguards held Marcellus to the ground, as the pimp poured a small amount of bleach into Wallace's right eye, hence the nickname "One-Eye." Shyanna pleded with the third bodyguard to help her brother...and he did. Fed up with the way he was being treated, Vincent nailed the men with brassknuckles. Police arrested the pimp and his bodyguards, including Ford, who cut a deal with the D.A. in exchange for his testimony. Ford spent 6 months in prison. Marcellus and Shyanna met "Whitey" the day he got out of prison. Wallace thanked Ford for basically saving his life that night. As the weeks went on, the two struck a friendship, a friendship that would lead them into professional wrestling, a friendship that would lead them to the OAOAST. Since arriving in the OAOAST, Wallace and Ford have basically become hitmen for hire. The love of beating people up combined with their unscrupulous nature made them perfect hitman material. Jim Cornette hired The SCM, who became hired guns for the NNMX, their sole purpose being to put THR away and a promise of tag team gold. But eventually after failed promises, at the HD after AM V, they turned on Cornette who promptly disappeared. The SCM also helped Christian Wright in his feud with Bohemoth briefly in mid-2006. Team Highlight: OAOAST World Tag Team Champions Team Lowlight: Shortest reigning tag team champions in history (10 minutes twenty two seconds) Name: Vincent Santana Aliases: Vincent "Whitey" Ford Age: 33 Height: 6'4 Weight: 210lbs Hometown: South Central, L.A. (Los Angeles, CA) Alignment: Heel Stable affiliation (if any): The South Central Militia, along with his tag team partner Marcellus "One-Eye" Wallace Wrestling style (brawler, cruiserweight, technical, all-rounder, etc.): Agile (and very skinny) brawler. He's dropped 30lbs in order to aid his mobility. Theme music: Tupac "Dopefiend's Diner" Entrance Style (what color pyro, spotlights, etc.): Another gun shot rings (What's Going On? ) Another siren sings (What's Going On? ) Another mother cries (Yo what's Going On? ) Cause another innocent died (Yo what's Going On? ) Dark blue lights flash across the entry way, as the stage fills with smoke. Through the haze steps the SCM, Vincent letting out a primal roar, while One Eye flashes gang signs. They make their way to the ring, talking trash to the jeering crowd. Entrance attire (sunglasses, robe, jacket, etc): Sunglasses, cowboy hat, white tank top Ring attire: Baggy Red Monkey jeans, white Nike trainers (which he sometimes refers to as 'ice-creams') Finishing Move(s) (try to keep it to 1 or 2): Vin n' Tonic- Top Rope Guillotine Legdrop Drive-By- Running flying forearm smash (has steel plate in forearm from motorcycle crash!) Signature Moves (ex: Shining Wizard, Rolling Germans, etc.): The Throwdown- Release Rock Bottom (as used by Christopher Daniels) One For My Homies- Three Amigos/Triple Vertical Suplex Whiteout- X-Factor Scissors Kick Top Rope Clothesline Slingshot Senton/Hílo (Eddie style) Basic moveset: Unlike his partner, "Whitey" can impliment a wee bit of wrestling skill. Not a vast amount, but enough to balance his love of using his fists. Manager/valet/sidekick: None. If involved in singles competition, his partner will accompany him to the ring. Catchphrases/Trademark gestures: "Don't believe the hype" Loves to squeeze his nuts. History/Background/Career Highlights: Unknown. All we know about Vinny is that he's a former bodyguard. AS A TEAM: Team Finishing Move(s): Jailbreak- Simultaneous spear/flying forearm combo... Marcellus with spear, Vincent with forearm shot Team Signature Moves: The Outline- Vincent suplexes opponent, Marcellus off the top with a big splash The Bodybag- Double Inverted Chokeslam Giant Swing/Basement Dropkick Double FU

Team Name: Los Diablos De Fuego Names: Moracca and Mariachi Aliases: Luis Mendoza and Javier Manuel Neives are their real names, but those aren't nearly flamboyant enough for Los Diablos, so why you'd want to use them I don't know. Mariachi! & Moracca Age: Moracca- 21; Mariachi- 21 Height: Moracca- 5'7"; Mariachi- 5'8 Weight: Moracca- 171lbs; Mariachi- 169lbs Hometown: Cabo San Lucas, Mexico Alignment: Faces Stable affiliation (if any): Los Diablos De Fuego Wrestling style: Lucha! Theme music: Geri Halliwell, "It's Raining Men" Entrance Style: Pink and yellow lights flash across the arena. Los Diablos come out and dance with each other, before making their way to the ring. On the way down the ramp, they bump and hump the guardrails, getting a little nasty with the male fans in the front rows. Moracca hands his sombrero to the hottest guy he sees. When Mariachi gets into the ring, he stares seductively into the camera while sucking on the middle prong of his pitch fork. Entrance attire: Moracca wears a pink poncho and sombrero, with glittery red devil horns on top. Mariachi wears a devil tail, and carries a pitchfork. Alternative outfit -- pink poncho and sombrero ala Moracca. Ring attire: Bright pink masks. Bright pink leather tights with a rhinestone belt. Bright pink leather top, with glittery gold devil horns on the back. Bright white boots. Lots of body glitter. Mariachi also wears rainbow colored arm tassels as well. Team Finishing Move(s) The Sodomizer- Spike Tombstone Piledriver Singles Finishing Move(s) Moracca Leonardo's Experience- Piledriver Mariachi Martinete- Cradle Tombstone Piledriver Team Signature Moves Kiss Of Death- Double Flatliner, preceeded by a kiss on each cheek Homies Hug- Double Bearhug Double Half Nelson Facebuster Double Tilt-a-whirl Face First Slam Singles Signature Moves Moracca Slippery When Wet- Pumphandle Lift into a Sidewalk Slam Fameasser Estacas Indias- Indian Deathlock Apron Run Cannonball Rear Naked Choke w/dry humping Stinkface Performs an arm wrench, which ends with him sensually rubbing his rival's hands against his genitals. Mariachi Sheep Dip- Inverted Pedigree/Kneeling Unprettier Frog Splash Springboard Seated Senton into a compromising pin Escorpión (Sharpshooter, scorpion deathlock) Tapatía (inverted surfboard) Will ride his foe like a horse, complete with requisite ass slapping and yelling of “Giddy up!” Basic Moveset Mucha Lucha. Manager/valet/sidekick: El Ovéja, Los Diablos' lucky mascot who is basically an inflatable sheep doll. You do the math. Catchphrases/Trademark gestures: "We're not homos. We're homies! Smile. " Tag out by kissing each other on the cheek. History/Background/Career Highlights: Flashback..uh..sometime during the summer. The OAOAST had recently come under pressure from various minority groups. They correctly charged that the company had the most indiverse roster modern wrestling had ever seen. Unable to fend off this PR nightmare any longer, the OAOAST brass caved in, and sought to diversify their company. Their first attempt took them south of the border to Mexico, where their scout saw one of the most unique teams of the day. Los Diablos De Fuego. The scout knew this squad was too good to be wrestling for mere pesos. Thus he offered them a contract on sight. Little did he know that Los Diablos were an openly homosexual tag team. The luchadores came into the OAOAST and made easy enemies out of the bumping and grinding Love Doctors. But after a fine a match at World Without End, The Docs realized that the Diablos weren't bad guys, just a couple of misunderstood luchadors looking to make a splash and help liberate the oppressed men in the world. Thus they ended the match with a handshake and a dance that surely titillated Los Diablos! Fans have shown an open mind to Morocca and Mariachi, taking quite the liking to the loveable duo. Another person who's taken a liking to the masked stars, is Alix Maria Spezia of Chicks Over Dicks. The three have become fast friends, and Los Diablos popularity has skyrocketed as a result. Homos. Homies. Whatever you want to call them just know that Los Diablos mean business.

Name: Tim Cash Nickname: Wrestling's Last True Good Guy Age: 27 Height: 5"11 Weight: 220 lbs. From: Peoria, Illinois Alignment (heel, face, tweener): Face Stable affiliation (if any): None Wrestling style (brawler, cruiserweight, technical, all-rounder, etc.): Technical/cruiserweight Theme music: "Its Not My Time" 3 Doors Down Entrance Style (what color pyro, spotlights, etc.): None. Like Officer Bosley, simply heads to ring, happy to slap hands and greet fans. Entrance attire (sunglasses, robe, jacket, etc): EMT uniform and medical bag. Ring attire: White trunks with Cash written in green letters on the back. Wrists taped with blue tape. Blue boots and knee pads Finishing Move(s) (try to keep it to 1 or 2): Do Not Resuscitate -- old school Sleeper Hold Midwest Sling-Texas Cloverleaf Signature Moves: Starting CPR- Top Rope Double Stomp Run The Lights- Hart Attack Clothesline Piledriver Backbrain Wheelkick (Spinning Heel Kick to the back of the head) Enziguri Missile Dropkick Basic moveset: Slams, suplexes, armdrags...very technical like Officer Bosley, but more likely to take high-risks. Manager/valet/sidekick None Catchphrases/Trademark gestures: History/Background/Career Highlights: Rescue 911 are members of the OAOAST First Responder's Unit. As their name suggests, when there's trouble, they're likely to be the first to arrival on the scene. Depending on whether it fits their storyline, of course. Unfortunatley the duo is no longer together thanks to Bosley turning his back on Cash to join with The Enterprise. Now Cash embarks on his singles career.

aka feedback for the bitch made lames.

not the best match in the world, or the state, or the county, or the city, or the neighboorhood, or even the house but i'm sorta busy lately We're taken to the always stylish Michael Buffer, who's standing in the center of the ring with a microphone held to his lips. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is for the OAOAST world tag team titles, and it is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of thirty minutes! Introducing first the challengers.... The metallic opening of [url="http://sharebee.com/cb8f226a"][i]Cross That Line[/i][/url] by Rick Ross fills the arena with an urban scented dread. As the audience murmurs with anticipation, the formerly bright lights delve into a troubling blue hue. [i]Convict....Convict....Convict[/i] [i]Up front Yeah.... [color="#FF0000"][size="6"]Convict Music[/size][/color][/i] While the haunting piano melody heightens the tension in the venue, scenes of The South Central Militia's special brand of havoc blaze across the Angletron, showing the alarmed fans what type of savage aggression the men who are soon to arrive are capable of. [I]Oooooh ooooh oooooh If you ever cross that line I guarantee ya there'll be nothin' to save ya (save ya, save ya) I got a whole bunch of gorillas ready to pull the trigga And we all for that paper (paper) Comin' from a life of crime Tryna be on my best behavior You see my rep's gettin' bigger but still that same nigga bustin' shots at them haters (them haters, them haters) But only if you cross that line[/i] The colossal bass of Rick Ross' street anthem booms through the venue, heralding the arrival of the tag team title challengers. The entrance doors split apart, and jeers rise into the air as The South Central Militia steps through a cloud of smoke to take position on the entrance ramp. Wearing a pair of flared Red Monkey Jeans, decorated by a Chinese feudal map, and a black LRG throwback track jacket, Vincent Santana throws his arms out to his side, and unleashes a feral howl into the night sky. Blue and white lights glimmer beautifully across his sleek body as he releases his enormous rage upon the world. His partner, wearing Artful Dodge Jeans with a blue gothic pattern on the side, and a t-shirt boasting a giant symbol of a grenade, stands in solemn menace, intimidating any unlucky enough to meet his gaze. BUFFER Weighing in at a combined weight of 505 pounds, they hail from South Central Los Angeles, they are Vincent “Whitey” Santana, Marcellus “One-Eye” Wallacet hey are the SOUTH – CENTRAL – MILITIAAAAAAAAAAA!!! The spectators welcome the end of the introduction with more disdain for these sickening goons. Quite dissimilar to many teams, who usually don't pay attention to such disrespect from the audience, the natives of South Central dish out verbal trashing to each attendee they encounter until they reach the squared circle. They dive into the ring, and ascend to opposite turnbuckle where their fists pump into the air in defiant triumph. The camera rotates around their rebellious ritual, as the chilling [color="#0000FF"][b]blue[/b][/color] lights continue to dance along the ringside area. COLE It's interesting, The South Central Militia beat the stuffing out of Jim Cornette because he never got them a tag title shot like he promised. A year later they still hadn't got their shot, until they simply asked Chicks Over Dicks for one. Alix and Krista, who will basically give a title shot to anyone no matter if they deserve it or not, obliged the request, and we're here today. COACH This is why I'm through with white women, Cole, because they're crazy. You can't go giving these niggas title matches all WILLY NILLY. You gotta have some order about this! The niggas out in these parts is wild, and if you keep putting your title on the line and it's only a matter of time before one of them takes it from you. Just you watch. The more you fight the more you lose. A [color=#FF0000][b]red[/color][/b] pyro waterfall illuminates the entrance stage, and all eyes lock onto the currently vacant entranceway. The sonic drum beats of Sugarcult's [i]Los Angeles[/i] rip to life while the red waterfall is courted by a beautiful [color=#FF3399][b]pink[/color][/b] pyro fountain. Standing next to the gorgeous display of pyrotechnics are miniature Angletrons, showcasing COD's entrance video, a highlight reel filled with clips of their breathtaking moves, interspersed with fly through images of the City of Angels, and shots of the champions in various seductive poses. COACH My ears are about be destroyed. [b]BOOOOOM!!![/b] A violent explosion of [color=#FFFF33][b]gold[/color][/b] pyro destroys the once docile pyrotechnics showing, and causes the capacity crowd to put forth a gargantuan cheer. As the smoke clears, Krista Isadora Duncan emerges through the hazy remnants of the fireworks. She sports a stomach exposing red Obey™ tank top that reads "Make Art. Not War" and a black open sided mini skirt that reveals her entire left leg, a show of skin that's always a crowd favourite! Her baby blue eyes cut a hole through her ring based rivals, while she strikes an alluring pose for the screaming audience. BUFFER And the cham......(a huge cheer rises from the stands, drowning out the announcer)....And the champions, first, from Los Angeles, California, she is the CEO of Mrs.Spezia's sweeties, the Hollywood Bad Girl, ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! And her partner, from Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, a fitness queen, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, she is Miss California Krista Isaodra Duncan! Together they are the OAOAST world tag team champions, America's Sweethearts, Chicks Over Dicks! Amidst the resonating cries Alix Maria Spezia skips out through the entrance way in a white tie-up front tube top that's cropped all the way to the chest and white booty shorts. Although her fur wristbands, scarf, and leg warmers are fake, the excitement of the fans is very real as they watch her settle down long enough to join hands with Krista. Krista twirls Alix around, then pulls her into her arms. Alix turns over her shoulder and blows a cute kiss to the camera, leading super imposed red lips to pop on the screen. Yes, I know I just copied that entrance from AP. I'm busy in the hustle, fuck you if you ain't know. COLE Both these teams hail from Los Angeles, but the similarities end right their. One group grew up on the one side of the tracks and is still struggling to pull themselves out of the violence filled slums, another team grew up in the lap of trendy Southern California luxury, and continues to reside their. But it's the team of the poor lower class that has drawn the hatred of the audience with their heinous actions over the course of their time in the OAOAST. Seeking to gain the upper hand before the girls get an opportunity to squash them like ghetto dwelling cockroaches, Vinny and Moe ambush the champions the moment they enter the ring, exploding clubbing forearms across their backs. Unfortunately for the brutish pair, their easily won advantage is handily stripped from them in a matter of seconds. The girls whirl around and simultaneously slash their hand across their assailant's faces. The sound of the open hand slaps wreaking havoc on on the SCM's' visages brings cheers to audience's throats and tears to the eyes of the challengers. Their situation turns even more deadly when Alix effortlessly dropkicks Santana to the outside. While he lays on the mats, grousing over his condition, his partner is left defenseless against the champions' whims. And what brutal whims they are! They tie One Eye into the ropes, leaving his body dangerously unprotected. He whimpers pitiful pleas for mercy, but his requests can hardly be heard over the shouts of the capacity crowd. Alix drops to all fours in the center of the ring, and Krissy takes off to the ropes to build momentum. When she reaches her better half, she leaps onto her bare back and uses it as a launching pad to catapault herself towards a weeping Wallace She soars forward like a majestic gazelle before, before descending upon One Eye to carve up his face with her boot. The California native topples out of the ring, giving company to his partner's misery. Krista, who's having too much fun trouncing the witless pairing, follows them outside to inflict further pain. But before she continues her trouncing, she gives a treat to ring side fan holding a camera phone. She strikes several centerfoldesque poses for the would be photographer while flashes from other nearby cameras shower the area in a white glow. “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” COLE Fans, don't forget that the OAOAST has teamed up with Ebay, and The Tibetan Freedom Organization to bring you a brilliant [url="http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/auc2.jpg"]charity auction[/url], where you can win a chance to spend a day with Chicks Over Dicks. The winner will be announced on the February 15th edition of HeldDOWN! The lawbreakers try to acquire a moment of respite in the face of this unbridled trashing. But Krista permits them nary a second's rest, and the OAOAST's top model chucks Vinny back into the ring. Jelly legs raise him from the mat where he witnesses the usually cheery Alix creep towards him with a murderous glare. Fraught with fear, he begins to beg Alix to take pity on his mortal soul. But before the words can leave his lips, The Hollywood Bad Girl is flying towards him, arm out stretched with a high flipping lariat. The chocolate haired tornado impacts perfectly with his chest and sinks him to the canvas. Just as the pain begins to take hold of his body, Ally Cat brings him to his feet and tosses him into the ropes. He bounds back to her, narrowly avoiding her leaping sidekick, and charges to the opposite cables. Frustrated with his last avoidance, Alix uses her smooth as silk legs to try and decapitate him with a superkick upon his return. But Whitey is able to put the breaks on quickly enough to evade her death-dealing strike. This latest evasion leads to a strategy change for Ally, and she carts herself to the ropes to attempt another high flipping lariat. However, Santana stymies that plan by intercepting her return with a standing spinebuster. But Alix reacts with cat like reflexes, cinching her left arm around his head, and plummeting backwards to scatter what little brains sit in his head with a DDT! Alix celebrates the brain damage she's caused by standing up and striking the “Heisman” pose despite never having watched a game of college football in her life. COACH (frothing at the mouth) That's Princess Stacey to you, Cole! COLE What the hell? Once she's done doing her best Troy Smith impression, the lovely Miss Spezia hauls her battered and beaten foe to his BAPE shoes. She grabs him into an arm wrench, twisting his limb so roughly, you'd think she was about to pull it out it's socket. As she holds the tormented body part above her head, Alix engages in a round of sexy showboating, gyrating her slender hips, shaking her wabbit tail, and slithering up and down to the audience's immense pleasure. Vincent, however, is far too concerned with the white hot pain in his arm to notice that a hot babe is currently jiggling and wiggling her assets in front of his very eyes. What doesn't escape his notice is Alix letting go of his arm, and trapping him into a front facelock. Alarm bells shriek inside of Vinny's head at the thought of enduring another concussion inducing DDT. Thus the panicky thug, places his hands onto Al's bare stomach and roughly shoves her away. Before she can even make an effort to reacquire the front face lock, the so called baddest man in Los Angeles, is directing a spear towards the so called baddest woman in Los Angeles. But Alix leap frogs her incoming attacker, causing him to blindly charge into an unknown abyss. Unlike Vincent, Wallace is keenly aware of his ring position, and extends his hand forward for a blind tag when White nears. While his out of control partner nearly runs himself out the ring, Wallace makes a graceful entry, lobbing his gloved hand towards Alix's face. But Ally avoids his attacks, and counters with a blow of her own, dropping to the mat, and slicing her legs into his Artful Dodger jeans. Her blow knocks One Eye totally off balance, and upends him from his lime green Nike shoes. Wallace drowns into the canvas, his dark eyes momentarily blinded by the flickering ceiling lights. The brightness of the lights is quickly engulfed by the harrowing darkness of Alix's fur covered boots descending upon his face. Acting out of supernatural speed, Moe rolls away from her double stomp. Obviously she lands on her feet, and with a devilish gaze still set on One Eye, she's in the perfect position to strike him down with a ruthless attack. As he begins to rise to his feet, she moves in for the kill. Her right foot uses his left leg as a launching pad to shoot her into the air. Her other foot extends forward like a bullet, ready to tear through his face. But he avoids the volley, by lowering his head, causing her once deathly move to sail harmlessly past. His blinged out teeth flash a sly smile at his avoidance. But this smile is turned into a grimace of sheer pain the second Alix slams her foot into the back of his head! The force of the strike timbers a howling One Eye to the canvas, where Alix immediately leaps on him for a pin. Ubiquitous referee Charles Robinson scores the fall.... CROWD ONE CROWD TWO One Eye kicks out in a most authoritative fashion, using his strength to fling Ally Cat several inches into the air. Despite this show of power, he's apparently in no mood to deal with the brunette beauty, and rolls to his corner to bring his associate back into the affair. COACH (frothing at the mouth) That's Princess Stacey to you, Cole! COLE Damn it, Coachman! While Mikey contemplates shooting his broadcast colleague, Alix marks Vincent's entry into the contest with a corner splash. But Santana counters the strike by latching onto her twiggy waist and dropping backwards to give her face first plunge into the poorly padded top turnbuckle. He doesn't present her a single moment to lick her wounds, and pulls off the posts by her luscious hair. The spunky Californian heroically attempts to battle against her aggressor with a pair of elbows. But he locks her down with a standing underhook that's much too tight to break through. He then fires a trio of barbarous knees into Alix's well toned stomach, that have her whimpering and gasping for air. Eventually, he lays that act to rest and moves into the grand finale by picking Ally up and implanting her into the mat with an underhook suplex. He follows that simple but effective hold with a lateral press. ONE TWO Alix scrapes her shoulder off the mat, letting the crowd breathe a sigh of relief. Perceiving that to have been a slow count, Whitey Ford gives an earful to the ref as he pulls Alix to her feet. Sadly for him, his short debate with the official gave Alix the distraction she needed to break away from his clutches She puts her new found freedom to excellent use, directing a calvary of elbows towards his goateed face. The rapier sharp blows dance across his orbital socket, turning his eye a shade of crimson and dribbling blood from it's corner. Leaving Vincent to attend to an eye that's rapidly swelling shut, the cute Californian speeds towards the ring ropes. The orange cables spit her back towards her foe with her head lowered into a battering ram. But Vinny manages to avoid being skewered by her cranium by leap frogging into the air. This avoidance doesn't get him totally out of the woods, however, and Alix runs the opposite ropes, still dead set on puncturing his stomach with her skull. Acting on sheer desperation, Santana drops down to his chest, praying that she'll trip over his lanky frame on her return. But Alix calls on a technique she learned in sixth grade gymnastics, and gracefully cartwheels over his sprawled out body. Whitey Ford pulls himself to his feet, where he plans on flooring Alix with a lariat. Problematically, Alix is nowhere near him, having instead taken position on the ring apron. Whitey foolishly charges her, lowering his broad shoulder in order to knock her into the laps of his amigos at the Spanish announce table. Ally Cat evades the deadly trip to the outside by slingshotting herself into the ring and landing onto the second rope. The brawler tries to swat her away like a common house fly, but she avoids the strike with bewitching ease, back flipping herself towards the center of the ring. Outraged and dizzied by Ally's impressive speed, Vince darts towards her, employing an elbow strike in his quest to blast her off the face of the earth. “WU-TANG CLAN AIN'T NOTHING TO FUCK WITH!” Alix “Ol Dirty Bastard” Spezia screams before she uses her faux-fur covered boots to obliterate an oncoming Vince's nose with a dropsault. While Vincent suffers through a hellish plummet to the mat, Alix lands with the divine grace of an angel dropped from the heavens above. To toast to her trumping of the hooligan, the white, upper class, near middle aged female throws up the Wu-Tang hand signal, and the predominantly white middle aged male, lower middle class audience eagerly returns the gesture. While her fellow Shaolin Monks chant her name, the new Ghostface Killa attempts her team's first pin fall. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Vincent kicks out of the pinning predicament, coughing up a wad of fur as he does so. Bored with thrashing the luckless pair from South Central, Alix decides to let Krista in on the fun. Thus she [i]moonwalks[/i] to her corner and makes the tag to her surly partner. The arrival of Miss California into the fray earns the usual enormous ovation from the onlookers. However, Krista has little reason to cheer, due to the fact that Vince slams his massive fist into her jaw the moment she enters the ring. The fist the size of a football smacks her again, and she teeters off balance, only being held up by her grip of the cables. Wham, he smacks her with the left. Wham, he smacks her with the right. The ex-convict rears back and swings once again. This time, Krista has the good sense to duck the agony inducing blow. The ruffian's hand crashes into the ringpost, sending aggravating vibrations up his arm. Krista recomposes herself quickly in order to take advantage of the rapidly closing window of opportunity. In a single fluid motion, the fitness queen jabs her elbow into the man's kidney. Except somehow, miraculously, Vincent grabs her wrist with his uninjured hand and stops her thrust shortly before it can tear into his rough skin. He then takes his tremoring hand and stabs it straight into her shoulder blades, generating a deep throated scream of anguish from Miss California. The South Central warrior chuckles to himself, pulls his hand back then thrusts forward again. Somehow, Krista is able to dodge the incoming bomb. The momentum of the blow carries Vincent into the corner, where Krissy promptly proceeds to shred his skin with flesh searing knife edge chops. But after the sixth strike lands, Vincent angrily rips Krista's attacking hand away from his chest. He places a savagely tight grip on her fingers, laughing to himself while he watches her cry out in misery. He adds on to her incredible pain, by swinging his knee into her ample chest. Krista feels a rib crack, then gasps for the air that's suddenly deserted her. Whitey swings again and does an inordinate amount of damage to her other rib. A third swing, then a fourth, and a fifth, and Krissy staggers backwards to the center of the ring. COLE Here we witness the SCM, well, mostly Vincent, using his brawling ability to simply overpower the much smaller Krista. If they're serious about winning these tag team titles, then this is the strategy they have to employ. As sweat sprinkles down her reddened face, her blue eyes spot the fearsome sight of her foe looming towards her. All at once the mammoth's hands wrap around her throat. They dangerously tighten, digging into her tanned skin, and nearly stopping her from breathing. She scans the ring, frantically searching for any weapon she can use in her war against the delinquent wrestler. Perhaps if this was a hardcore match, there'd be plunder to unearth. But it's just a regular ass contest, and Krista, simply put, is fucked. Unable to accept the fact that she's about to lose this contest by strangulation, Kris makes an admirable effort to pry his death grip away. Santana counters this attempt by simply bulldozing her back into the turnbuckles. “LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!” bleat the audience, led on by Alix. COLE Shouldn't Robinson be doing something right about now? Like, say, disqualifying Vincent for use of an illegal chokehold? COACH Robinson's refereeing has been the abomination of the tag team division for the past month, and I consider it a shame and a disgrace that he's even allowed to work anything but dark matches. Miss California somehow finds the strength to drive her boot into his knee. Whitey grimaces and attempts to step back, his hands still locked onto Krissy's throat. The sudden movement takes Kris away from the corner, but loosens the grip just enough that she's able to step onto the second rope. With blazingly fast speed, she tosses herself off her post and [b]rakes her nails across Vinny's eyes[/b]! The unusual usage of the ropes scores a large cheer from the capacity crowd, but more importantly it finally rids Krista of the vexatious chokehold. The man screams and staggers, wildly clawing at his burning eyes. Krissy hops to her snowboots, then slams those same shoes into his meaty chest with a crowd popping dropkick that drives him to the middle of the ring. With one hand nursing his wounded pecs, Vinny uses his free arm to fend off Krissy with sloppy forearm strikes. She responds with a forearm smash of her own, but Whitey Ford uses his chunky arm to shield himself from the blow. Caught momentarily off balance by the deflection, she is unable to prevent him from hip tossing her over. But she recovers mid move and gracefully rolls through, landing on her knees in the SCM corner. COACH Love for my thugs, but that was a lazy move right there. You're a heavyweight so use heavyweight moves, don't be fooling around, hip tossing people like you're a middleweight. If you got power, then, dawg, you gotta use it. The SoCal babe springs to her feet and deals a bemused Santana a vexing blow by once again jamming her fingers into his bronze eyes. As the fans cheer her underhanded tactic, Krista begins to turn her attention towards the long forgotten Wallace. However Vinny is unwilling to let bygones be bygones, and despite his near blindness, he manages to accost the femme fatale with a full nelson. With Krista held in a prone position by his comrade, One-Eye enters the squared circle and charges forward to exact a measure of revenge on their rival. Yet Krista counters his attack by bending her body forward, leaving One-Eye's lariat to mow down his battered compatriot! “YEAAAAAH!” Krissy acts on her deep rooted hatred for all heterosexual men by needlessly pumping her boot into Wallace's “frank and beans”! Shortly thereafter he's cursed with an even more miserable brand of hurt when Alix darts from her corner and caves in his chest with a dropsault! The tremendous force of the blow sends a screaming Wallace plunging backwards, where his sizable posterior lands squarely on his mortified partner's face. This is most certainly not an enviable position for Vince, considering that Wallace hasn't change his underwear in two weeks. While Vinny bemoans his partner's rancid stench, the girls celebrate their total thumping of their buffoonish challengers. Krista offers Alix exaggerated and overly theatric praise for her prowess and Alix feigns purposely over acted modesty, refusing to accept the compliments. “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” COACH Once Vinny gets done tossing Moe's salad we can continue this contest, until then, let's get some of that sweet ad revenue. (GO TO BREAK) (RETURN FROM BREAK) We return to in ring action with Wallace foisting Ally into the sky with a vertical suplex. After a six second delay he dives backwards crunching her bones into the canvas. He then floats over into a lateral press, which Robinson quickly scores... ONE TWO Alix kicks out, and clambers away through the gap between both their bodies. She hops upright, ready to lock horns with the gangbanger. But he takes off in the opposite direction, bouncing off the ropes. His urban flavored footwear move his clotheslining body back towards the champion. But that attack fails to land thanks to Alix taking hold of his attacking arm. His dark face goes white with fear, as he wonders what hellish technique she has in store for him. She answers that question by bending his out of balance body back, and slamming his spine across her knee. While his yells drench the air in fright, she lifts him up, and drives him forward, gruesomely impacting his gut onto her other leg. Alix finally completes her theatre of pain by crashing him downwards with the True Life: I Just got beat up by a girl (STO)! As the audience cheers on her trademark move, she attempts a pinfall. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Before the referee's hand can strike the mat for a second time, Wallace powers his body out of the pinfall and rolls onto his flabby stomach. He pushes himself to his feet where he is met with a sharp knee to the his protruding gut from his rival. She scrambles to the ropes, then pounces across the ring to hit her doubled over enemy with a kick to the chest. The tremendous force of the blow rockets his body upward, and heaves a wad of spit from his mouth. As One Eye staggers groggily, she makes another trip to the cables. But her return is far less fruitful then previous efforts, and Wallace overtakes her with a belly to belly suplex! However, Alix shifts her body in midair and manages to land on her feet to the audience's delight. Wallace is disheartened by her counter, and the emotional windfall causes him to offer a pedestrian Irish whip as his next offensive move. However the champion easily reverses the hold. Before he can run the ropes Alix catches his left arm, and uses it to whirl One Eye in front of her. With the raucous crowd singing her name, Miss Spezia clutches onto his neck, then cranks it with a swinging neckbreaker! Leaving the man to moan in misery, she takes off to the cables, preparing to return with a running shooting star press. Yet Wallace has other ideas within the twisted recess of his mind. Betraying the hurt in his neck, he springs up when Alix is only a few inches away from him. Thanks to the short distance separating them, she isn't able to offer an offensive move, and instead can only brace herself for the impact of his spinebuster! The savage ending of the slam rocks the ring to it's very core. While the audience boos his hold, he pulls Alix up by her aching head. He lands a few well placed elbows to the small of her back to keep the plucky lass under control while he drags her to his corner. A tag is then applied to the detestable shitkicker Vincent Santana. COLE While the Militia switches out, let me remind our fans in Ottawa, Albuquerque, Baltimore, and Cleveland, that we will be visiting your area for live events within the month of February, and tickets still remain! Alix rises to her feet, to face the entering brute. But the beast comes at her so fast, that she has little time to defend herself before she's rammed into turnbuckles behind her. The ropes shake from the impact of the collision and a distressed whimper leaves her lips. The criminal's hot breath blasts in her face, and his bloodthirty growl thunders in her ears as he closes in. Drool drips from his lips in anticipation of lighting her up with fierce strikes. But Alix refuses to grant him the chance to act on these desires. In one fluid motion she scales up to the second turnbuckle, then flies off, and hooks onto his extended left arm. She twirls around, violently jerking his limb, then slamming it into the mat with a tornado single arm ddt! He quickly rises, ready to belt Alix into the tenth row with a crazed haymaker. But the California cutie once again stymies his plans, doing further damage to his arm with a crowd popping single arm DDT. Vincent once again makes the mistake of jumping straight to his feet, and his chin pays the harsh price for his folly as Alix pounds a dropsault into it. She lands beautifully on her feet, while he suffers through a disastrous dive into the floor. COLE Vincent Santana getting single armed ddt'ed, and dropsaulted, and he doesn't look any worse for the wear. Although, his partner doesn't look that concerned with his plight. COACH I think Marcellus Wallace cares more about his white chocolate prince's feelings then you'd expect. Alix strolls over to her corner and makes the tag to Krista, who sarcastically mouthes the word “Thanks”. Why the sarcasm? Because the bullish ruffian is on his feet, with fire blazing from his horns. Needless to say, Krissy isn't overly tickled at the prospects of trying to tame this ferocious beast. She holds her hands in front of her body, palms first, while frantically imploring Santana to ”settle down, dude!” To absolutely no one's surprise Vinny doesn't grant Kris' request, deciding instead to try and knock her out of the ring with a shoulder tackle! The shot knocks Krista flat on her back, drawing concerned gasps from several teenage girls in the front row. Against her usually sound judgment, the pride of HelLA jumps to her feet, only to get belted with another shoulder tackle! Grolwing with feral tenacity, Vinny takes a chunk of her lush hair and drags her to her feet. After pelting her sweat drenched forehead with two closed fists, he hurls her across the ring with an Irish whip. On her return she attempts to go on the offensive by firing a flying forearm at her enemy. Somehow the snarling rottweiler is able to catch onto her attacking arm and then take her into an urange backbreaker. But as soon he plants her in front of his body, the delicious bombshell wraps her lovely legs around his torso, and vacuums him into a rollup. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Vincent shoots his shoulder off the canvas well before the referee can reach three. He springs to his feet, where he directs a harmful lariat towards hisopponent. However the remarkably quick diva denies herself a visit to the emergency room, by avoiding the move and spinning behind Santana to hook him into a waistlock! What Krista plans on doing with a waistlock applied on a man who weighs several hundred pounds more then her is beyond the audience's comprehension. In fact, it's beyond even her comprehension. Thus she gives up on playing the David to his Goliath, and shifts to a much simpler inverted facelock. She violently hauls him downward with an inverted DDT that forces a pained yelp from his throat. KID pays no heed to his frantic cries, and rolls him upright with the inverted facelock still attached. She dives forward, clattering his lanky frame to the mat with a second inverted DDT. While the spectators sing her name, she brings herself and her foe to their feet for a third and final inverted DDT. But Vincent mounts a stringent defense, snapping his knee into the side of her head. The attack has immediate effects on Krista, and causes her grip to loosen. Whitey Ford offers a second knee to her cheek, and the hold further weakens. The third strike turns out to be a charm and her grasp is shattered altogether. Finally free of her clutches, Vincent retries his failed lariat attempt. Already having to deal with a serious migraine, Kris has no chance of countering Santana's latest lariat, and finds herself bowled over by the lunge. COACH Vinny's moves ain't nothing pretty, but if he hits 'em in the right place, then they get the job done. Whitey Ford starts to lift Krissy off the canvas, and quickly finds his clothesline didn't do nearly the amount of the damage he thought it did, as Krista starts winging boisterous elbows deep into his ribs! The rougneck makes a valiant attempt to strike back, but KID hits him often enough to keep him off balance. She pulls herself fully upright, then swings behind her lumbering rival and secures an inverted facelock. More DDTs? Not if Vinny has anything to say about it! A succession of knee strikes breaks the hold and snuffs out all hope of for the maneuverer. Once again free from Krista's grasp, Vincent spins around with the intention of breaking her nose with a forearm smash. But his attacking limb never even gets near her face, as Krista sinks to the mat and topples the Militia member with a drop toe hold! The rock solid canvas pierces into his face, and he shrieks in agony. Krista curses him with even more anguish when she pulls him into a pinning predicament with an Oklahoma roll! Robinson hits the mat to count the pinning situation. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Vincent pulls his shoulder off the mat at the last possible second, drawing a number of jeers from the crowd. For some completely insane reason, [i]Marcellus Wallace[/i] has decided to try his luck against KID's surging momentum. He storms into the ring, wishing to catch her off guard as she heads upright. But private school educated Krista is much too smart to fall for public school educated Wallace's lamebrained schemes, and greets his charge by horsewhipping his face with a ghastly spin kick! The repulsive sound of Krista's shoe obliterating the bone structure in the man's face brings forth a round of applause from the bloodlusting heathens in attendance. [i]Vincent[/i], now recovered form his earlier mistreatment, tries to do what his partner failed to accomplish, and best this vexing vixen. But the second he stands up, a pair of knee strikes are stabbed into his midsection. Krista cinches in a front facelock and grabs a wad of his jeans, as she prepares to annihilate his brain matter with an Implant DDT. But Santana uses his overwhelming strength to shove the femme fatale away from him. While she struggles to stay on her feet he pivots on his left foot and whirls around to unleash a viscous discus punch. However, Krista delays the move indefinitely by thrusting her boot into his midsection! Then she locks him down with a front underhook. She doesn't even afford him a nanosecond to mount an escape, as she leaps backwards driving his already aching head into the mat with a Double Arm DDT! With a quizzical look resting on her face, Miss California turns to the audience and asks in mock seriousness “Can a bitch get a hand clap?” Not only can a bitch get a hand clap but a bitch can also get a chant of “K-I-D! K-I-D!” The better question is can a bitch get a successful title defense? We're about to see as Krista goes for a pinfall! CROWD ONE CROWD TWO A recovered Wallace grabs a fistful of Krista's hair and pulls her off his associate. Unfortunately for him, Krista is beyond outraged that he would dare to lay his grubby mits on her dazzling sun colored locks. Seething with raw anger, she takes her disgust out on his ugly face, slicing it apart with twriling savate kicks! The ferocity of her blows manage to push One-Eye across the squared circle and to the ropes. She glowers balefully at him, before piercing her boots into his chocolate skin with a spinning wheel kick! The strength of the crowd pleasing volley tosses One Eye overboard, and to the black ringside mats bellow. Thankfully for his squad, he manages to land on his feet, much to the disturbance of the chaos hungry crowd. In a rare show of intelligence, he doesn't bother to step back into the ring with the crazed champion, choosing instead to stay on the outside and catch a much needed breath. COLE I think Krista could win this match all by herself! Vinny obviously lacks the good sense of his partner, and charges towards the champion, coming fast and furious with a forearm smash. But Krista encounters little trouble in dealing with her maniacal challenger, grabbing onto the the top rope, and jerking it downward when he nears in order capsize him out of the squared circle. Her hope was that he would be forced to tolerate a horrific (but comedic) crash landing to the outside floor. But Whitey simply splatters his thin body across the ring apron. That's not a problem for Krista, who reaches between the ropes to grab him by the rat's nest of black hair on his head. She drags the dizzied pugilist into the ring and wraps her hands around him in a front face lock. She tightens her grip, making sure her forthcoming DDT will be executed to it's most deadly precision. Unfortunately she soon learns the best laid plans of mice and lipstick butch lesbians often go awry, for Wallace, seeing a golden opportunity to turn the tides of fate to his team's favor, grabs onto Krista's right boot. The sudden tug on her foot causes her to lose all balance, and she teeters backwards, her grasp on Vinny quickly evaporating. Santana feels her hold loosen, and immediately works the abrupt change to his advantage, shifting his frame so that he leans into her stomach. When Wallace sees that his comrade is in perfect position, he lays his master plan to work and yanks her foot off the canvas, tipping her backwards to the mat! Vincent is forced to follow her downwards, but adjusts his body in midfall so that he lands on her in a lateral press! Charles Robinson, oblivious to the SCM's shenanigans, secures his title as the OAOAST's worst referee and actually counts the pin. Wallace makes sure that Krista has zero chance to kick out by pressing his upperbody onto both of her feet..... ONE COLE Robinson, pay attention, you goof! TWO ALIX COMES IN TO BREAK UP THE FALL! THREE! Wondering if the save was made it in time, a distressed Ally Cat looks to the official for the crucial answer. She gets her reply when the referee strolls towards the time keeper and orders him to the ring the bell! A distraught Alix sinks her face into mat, and furiously pounds her fist into surface in sheer disbelief. [b][color="#808080"]DING DING DING[/color][/b] COLE No, no, no, no, no! That didn't just happen! No it didn't! The official announcement does absolutely nothing to assuage Cole and the audience's greatest fears. .. BUFFER The winner and new tag team champions......The South...Central Militia? The audience is just as confused as the ring announcer, but are far more vocal with their disgust for the disgraceful outcome. COLE Motherfuckers! COACH Michael! COLE Those motherfuckers! One of them worked as a pimp and the other was a drug dealer! And now they're tag team champions! And they cheated! They cheated, in the most obvious way you can possibly cheat! Marcellus Wallace was lying on top of Krista's legs, how does a known racist like Charles Robinson not see a six foot seven black man on a white woman's legs! A white woman who is the partner of a half Mexican woman! COACH Why you gotta get racial in this piece?! Why can't a black man and a white man just get they shine on together without it being something about race? And since when is Charles Robinson a known racist? Man, you're talking some wrong words tonight. Slow ya roll, soldier. And isn't Alix Italian? The crowd, many of whom are on their fourth and fifth beers, spew out an enraged procession of vulgarities. Most chant bullshit, while others scream insults and threats towards Robinson and the SCM that even I wouldn't dare to type. Fans in the front row implore the referee to watch a replay, to see that the Militia won the match by improper means. But C-Rob remains unmoved by their requests, and hands the titles over to the new champions. This gesture only further serves to inflame the fiery rage that's taken hold of the arena. The new champs, however, celebrate their ridiculous victory by doing the even more ridiculous [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_1nO94Ogpc"]"finger snap" dance[/url] made popular by Lil Jon. So thrilled by their “victory”, they even enlist Charles Robinson in their hip hop inspired dance routine. Krista, as you can no doubt imagine, is slightly less then pleased with the outcome. She devotes her energy to threatening to carve out of the official's vital organs in alphabetical order, and feed them to her dog while she makes his family watch. COLE Unbelievable. What a load of crap. You can hook someone's tights, or put your foot on the ropes and kind of get away with it. But this was an elaborate two minute cheating routine, that only Stevie Wonder wouldn't have noticed. These two men are nothing but uneducated, boorish, violence prone goons. They hardly have any actual wrestling training and have no right to ever hold any OAOAST title. COACH This title win ain't for you it's for the streets. All the young bloods in hood are gonna see this and they're gonna realize they don't gotta be in the trap dealin dope, or pimpin' hoes, or shooting each other up to get by. They can make it in this world by honest means. COLE That's just it, the SCM didn't win by honest means The mood of the crowd changes from violent anger to just plain hostile when they witness OAOAST authority figure Anglesault make his way onto the entrance stage. Unlike the audience, The SCM aren't exactly thrilled to behold the former OAOAST world champion. They watch with great anxiety, as he prepares to address the troubling situation. ANGLESAULT It would seem we have a bit of problem that needs solving... “No shit, Pythagoreaus!” Krista screams. ANGLESAULT I know what you all want me to do. You want me to exercise my authority, overrule The South Central Militia victory, and restart the match so you can witness the good girls win the good fight. Well, it troubles me to be the bearer of such horrible news. But the problem is, your's is a wish even the great and powerful Anglesault can not grant. Unfortunately, the highly complex rules of the tag division state that in a title match, the referee's decision is [b]final[/b]. “BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!” holler the audience. ANGLESAULT Hey, I wish it was, because I don't like the result any more then you do. As the man who's responsible for the welfare of this company it pains me more then anyone to have to say this,but the ruling will not be overturned. The South Central Militia are the new OAOAST tag team champions! “BOOOOOO!” scream the fans, while the relieved SCM celebrate their boss' ruling by resuming their finger snapping dance. “Okay, time for this asshole to die.” Krista mutters as she starts to step through the ropes to get at her annoying employer. ANGLESAULT Now, now. Before everyone starts hurling garbage my way, and you all start calling for my freshly decapitated head and a resignation letter signed in my blood, give me a chance to finish. I definitely don't think it's fair that the titles changed hands under such dubious circumstances. And, while I can't overturn the ref's decision, I'm the boss in this town, and I can sure as hell do everything in my power to make sure those titles go back where they belong! Alix and Krista, how would you ladies like a rematch for the most coveted prize in all of tag team wrestling? KRISTA No. No we don't want a rematch. We're perfectly happy with being cheated by Markie Mark, and this Doug E. Doug looking [i]Cool Runnings[/i] reject he calls a partner. Of course we want a rematch, you douche! Now be a good thirty five year old shut in virgin and give it to us! ANGLESAULT Then let's do it right here tonight! In fact let's do it right [i]now[/i]! The audience spews forth a thunderous ovation for AS' ruling. Krista, who can't be satisfied with anything done by a white Christian heterosexual male, just smirks slightly. Alix, who stopped paying attention to the ordeal long ago, is too focused on her intense game of [i]Barbie in the city[/i] on her cell phone to care. The Ying-Yang twins abruptly cut short their dance party, and react to the ruling by shouting bestial threats on the boss' life. Vincent leans over the ropes and challenges the OAOAST legend to a street fight, which certainly peaks the audience's excitement. One Eye takes up the role of advocate for his team and demands that Robinson interject himself into this travesty. Charles replies that if he had known of the SCM's wicked ways, he never would've allowed their tag title victory to count. COLE Folks, when we come back the tag titles are on the line. Again! (GO TO BREAK) (RETURN FROM BREAK) COLE Welcome back to HeldDOWN, where The South Central Militia have just started their first tag title defense against the former champions Chicks Over Dicks. Your ears aren't playing tricks on you, The South Central Militia, cheated, scammed, and tricked their way to a tag title victory. This is not a dream. If it was I'd be sitting next to a young Sean Connery, when he's wearing nothing but a wink and a smile. COACH I don't see why Krista was so upset. If you let anyone take a shot at your belts, then anything can happen. Did I not say just letting random people have title matches with you was a bad idea? I swear I did say that. I would think Alix would've learned this from her 24/7 title fiasco, but I doubt she can remember anything past last week. In the ring, Wallace finds himself under fire from a swarm of rapid fire kicks from Ally Cat. Unable to defend himself from the fast moving blows he's helplessly backed into the corner. She follows him in, providing him with not a moment's rest. After tossing a kiss to a little boy in the front row, she whips the current champion across the ring. But midway through the move, One Eye reverses it and throws her to the turnbuckles. Annoying the SCM to no end, she evades a gruesome collision with the steel turnbuckle by pressing her hands onto the top rope and springing backwards. However the agile counter does not come without it's pitfalls, as Wallace hooks onto her tan and toned legs and throws her forward, making an attempt to imprint her features onto the corner posts. But as she sails through the air, she puts her hands in front of her face to avoid a grizzly introduction with the ringposts. Unfortunately her left knee wasn't as lucky as her facial features, and twists it disgustingly as her feet plant into the mat. Despite her best efforts to do so, her grimacing face can't mask the intense pain besieging her left leg. Wallace detects his rival's afflicted state and stalks the brunette as she clumsily hobbles about the squared circle. He closes in on his victim, huffing and puffing like a psychotic wolf. He wraps Alix arm around his head, ties his arms around her slender waist, then foists the challenger high into the sky. He delays his move for about eleven seconds, lending Alix time to contemplate the grievous error she and her gal-pal committed in angering the SCM. After the clock ticks twelve, he slams Alix's left leg across his outstretched knee with a knee breaker. While the crowd tries to rally the adored babyface, One Eye grabs onto her left leg and holds it horizontal to the mat. Showing technique that betrays his stupefying lack of wrestling ability, Marcellus then drapes his right leg across Alix's left. Finally he drops down and beautifully impacts her leg into the floor! The tormented crowd favorite screams into the night, drawing tears from many a young fan, and putting a devious grin on One Eye's face COACH The champs pulling out a new moves from their bags of tricks! COLE Oh please. COACH That's Princess Stacy to you, Cole! Marcellus elevates a grounded Alix's burdened left leg, then swiftly buries an elbow into the sore part of her inner knee. Alix pulls her sweat soaked upper body off the mat, howling in chilling agony. The expert camera work gets a telling shot of a twelve year old girl crying as she watches her heroine get brutalized by this hooligan. Looking to inflict even more harm upon the perfectly sculpted sculpted body of Alix Spezia, One Eye conjures up the makings of a figure four leg lock. But during the pivotal part, where he has to turn his back to Alix the challenger stuns him by using her good leg to shove him into the turnbuckles nearest the COD corner! The fans explode with cheers as Wallace endures a freight train worthy collision with the ring posts. The dazed warrior staggers out of the corner and takes himself into a school boy by Alix! The referee makes the count! CROWD ONE CROWD TWO One Eye turns a defensive kickout into a clever offensive attack, pressing his sweaty palms onto Alix sweet tushy and pushing her towards the very same turnbuckle he was so rudely introduced to seconds ago! As bad as his crash may have been, Alix's is ten times more repugnant: The alluring lass trips over her own wrestling boots and impales her shoulder on the callous metal ringpost! The impact is so appalling that even Vincent has to join with the onlookers in shuddering at the head on hit. Moe has little time to admire his violent handiwork, though, and scrapes Alix's carcass away from the accident scene. He then hurls her into the cables, causing a sharp pain to her badly bruised arm. Thankfully, she's able to brush aside the anguish in her shoulder long enough to return to her enemy with a magnificent crossbody block! But One Eye catches her within his broad wingspan and proceeds to propel her overhead with a fallaway slam! But Alix avoids injurious disaster by landing perfectly on her fuzzy boots. She moves with great speed and dashes towards the champion, who greets her incoming charge with a big boot. But she ducks below his volley and carries herself to a vacant corner. As camera flashes litter the tightly packed venue, she escalates to the top turnbuckle and slings herself off with a beautiful flying back elbow! Yet Wallace has enough sense and speed to sidestep the nose-diving grappler. And as an unfortunate result Alix hits the mat with a massive impact, music to the ears of those in the SCM camp. Marcellus crawls over to Ally and hooks her legs for a cover. ONE Alix's left shoulder clears the mat just enough to end the pinfall, earning a grand response from the fans. The failure to secure victory for his squad prompts One Eye to make a begrudging tag to Vincent Santana. Whitey enters the squared circle and concocts a brilliant double team scheme with his long time associate. They pick Alix up by her arms and send her wobbly legs trotting to the ropes. When she returns the vile tribe enclose their hands around her sleek waist and flip her into the sky. They each take a kneeling position and smile sadistically as poor Alix endures a terrible stomach first meeting with their knees. Her piercing shrieks degenerate Krista into a nervous wreck and have her calling for the referee's and the SCM's heads on a silver platter. Vincent pays her threats no mind, as he covers Alix for another pinfall. ONE TWO The Hollywood Bad Girl rolls her shoulder off the mat, leading the crowd to cheer her resiliency. Vinny is far less thrilled with her toughness then the fans and punishes Alix for her vigor with savage stomps. As his boots hammer her skull, he turns to her seething partner, and callously invites her to come rescue the damsel in distress. Krista's temper flares murderously and she eagerly accepts the challenge, stepping into the ring to the crowd's immense pleasure. However the bothersome official steadfastly blocks her entry, leaving Vinny to chuckle with wicked delight. Krista is forced to use what little patience is contained within her body to restrain herself from choking Robinson half to death, and sullenly returns to her position on the apron. Meanwhile, a bone weary Alix begins slogging her way to the ropes to make a much needed tag. But Vincent halts her advance by pouncing upon her and driving his knees into her already bruised ribcage. Alix grits her teeth tightly, nearly grinding them into dust as she tries to cope with the searing pain her foe has left her under Problematically, he continues to bring the hurt to her world by locking her into a destructive sleeper hold. Showing an utter lack of class, he taunts her with a round of vulgar putdowns and sexual themed threats. But his crass insults are soon drowned out by the raucous crowd who fill the venue with chants of “LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!” Vincent only snickers at the audience's futile effort to rally their heroine, and turns his body to the side so that he may lock his legs around Alix's thin frame with a body scissors. Alix does her best to fight through unmercifully painful hold, squirming and wiggling her way through her tormentor's perilous grip. Over in the COD corner, stress plays on Krista's normally beauteous facial features as she pleads with her girlfriend to mount some kind of counter attack. COACH Alix is out of it, Mikey! And if the Militia win it the good old fashion way, you have to give them their due props, man. The crowd is unwilling to admit Alix's defeat, and continues to bleat her name “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” Drawing strength on the support shown by Krista and the fans, Alix makes a great effort to fight past the considerable duress she's under. She rolls onto her stomach and digs her nails into the mat as she prepares to undertake the precarious task of journeying to her corner. But with a two hundred plus pound ex-convict attached to her back like a tumor this will certainly be no walk in the park. With each passing moment the exhaustion grows fatally worse, but with each passing moment she also gets slightly closer to Krista. Every member of the audience is on their feet, proudly rooting on Alix as she continues her arduous trek. Vinny tightens his body scissors as much as strength will allow, making every last effort to squeeze the life out of her little body. But Alix stays strong, determined to complete her mission despite the fact that a dangerous blackness is rapidly closing in on her. She nears her corner and weakly reaches out to accept the salvation offered by Krista's trembling hand. The capacity crowd blows the roof off the arena the second the tag is made with a round “KRISTA! KRISTA!” chants. COACH I can't believe she actually made it to Krista! KID enters the ring and is promptly assaulted by a lariat from Marcellus Wallace. She ducks below the only move he actually knows, and uses her momentum to push herself off the ropes. Unaware of the location of his hyperactive opponent, a confused Wallace turns around to get a bead on her. But instead of getting a bead, he gets his nose shifted three inches to the left with a yakuza kick! Adding insult to his sizable injury, Krista mocks Wallace for the fact that he looks suspiciously like [i]Cool Runnings[/i] star Doug E Doug by doing a Rasta dance and singing the theme song that same Disney movie. “Bobseligh, bobsleigh, we are the Jamaican bobsleigh team!” Thinking her distracted by using his ally as a verbal punching bag, Vincent suspects that he can surprise her with a basic clubbing forearm. But Miss California whirls around and defeats his simple plan with a thunderous spin kick that knocks him off his feet. She then turns her fiery rage back toward Wallace, who's trying to beat a hasty retreat. Krista shuts down all his escape routes by grabbing onto his arm and Irish whipping him into the corner. But he shifts his bodyweight midmove and reverses the hold, “blessing” Krista with the back first crunch into the steel turnbuckles. [i]One Eye[/i] takes advantage of her moment of weakness by charging towards her, looking to flatten her with a body splash. But the only thing that gets flatten in this exchange is his pectoral muscles as Miss California dives out of the way, leaving him to violently smash into the posts. Krista's wonderful counter barely has a second to register in the fans' minds before they see her getting flap jacked into the sky by Vincent. But Krista uses her cat like agility to turn the tables on the brawler, by slicing her long tan legs across his neck with a leg lariat! The audience discharges a boisterous pop in response to her series of reversals. Never one to pass up a moment to humiliate a member of the male gender Krista mocks the SCM by signing their entrance music to the cheering audience “If you ever cross that line I guarantee ya there'll be nothin' to save ya, I got a whole bunch of gorillas ready to pull the trigga, and we all for that paper!” COLE Krista all about that hyphy west coast flow! Powered by a conviction to silence his musical challenger, One Eye makes one last charge towards the woman. However, Krista latches onto his arm, then bends backwards, bringing him into the air with a Japanese arm drag. He lands with a reverberant impact on his associate's stomach, causing both men to emit a series of pain soaked squeals Ever the vain one, Krista plays to the crowd and to her own beauty, by fluffing her luscious golden tresses above her victimized rivals. Once she's done showcasing her Loreal worthy hair, she runs to the ropes, cartwheels back, and hits a devastating elbow that lands with perfect brutality on One Eye's sternum. She then hooks his leg for a pinfall. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO The champion forcefully kicks out of the pin attempt, then rolls away from his feisty enemy, seeking to put an extreme amount of distance between himself and the wrathful fitness queen. He manages to make it as far as the apron, before Krissy, who had trailed his route, reaches over the ropes and angrily hauls him upright by his cornrows. He tries to fend her off with a right cross, but she swiftly ducks bellow the wild strike. A second attempt proves no more productive then the first, except this time he gets a knee to the stomach for his wasteful efforts. Krista then interweaves him into a maddeningly tight front facelock, and uses the hold as a leash to draw him into the squared circle. Wallace tugs at her arms, trying his hardest pull the hold clear with his brute strength. Much to his chagrin he encounters zero success with this effort, and Krista readies him for the always deadly Implant DDT. COLE This is starting to look kind of familiar... And it should, because Vincent replays the exact same scene that caused this entire mess in the first place. He tugs on Krista's shoe, causing her to lose her grip on One Eye and topple backwards once again. Just like before, One Eye shifts his body and lands on top of Krista in a lateral press. Again, Robinson is too stupid to witness the blatant cheating occurring right in front of his eyes. The only [i]important[/i] difference between now and the previous predicament that cost the girls their championships, is that Vincent only holds onto [b]one[/b] of Krista's feet. CROWD [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/awwgeeze.jpg] ONE COLE Not this way! TWO COLE Damn it, no! Vinny's failure to grab onto both feet proves fatal, and Krista pops out of the pin, putting the panic attacked audience and colour commentator at ease. [B]YEAAAAAAAAA![/B] COLE Yes! Yes! Wallace certainly does not share in the sold out arena's enthusiastic sentiment. The reigning champion holds his arms out to his side, completely at a loss for words as to explain how the once fool proof plan could go so awry. But his thoughts are quickly shifted into other concerns as Krista grabs onto his wrist and puts him on a trip towards the cables. She lowers her head, praying that he'll leapfrog her upon his return. He bites on the bait, elevating himself over her body, and foolishly throwing himself into one of Krista's more convoluted signature moves. Rather then continue his run of the cables, he pivots off his right foot to thud an elbow into Krista's noggin. Unfortunately, Krista's plan continues to go off like clockwork, and she hits him with Phase Two: An inverted atomic drop. Wallace's hands nestle his ruptured testicles as he screams into the night sky. Unfortunately for him his hollering mouth is soon drowned in blood, when Krista unleashes phase three: a fabulously deathly superkick! The wounded convict drops like a sack of potatoes to the mat, throughly battered by [b]Krista's Great California Adventure[/b]. While the spectators ovate her complex signature spot, Krista covers her opponent for the pinfall CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Vincent breaks up the fall with a kick to the side of her head! “FUCK OFF,VINCENT! FUCK OFF, VINCENT!” chant the oh-so classy audience. Vincent shrugs off the audience's disdain, and instead focuses on making moves to end his challengers' quest to reclaim what's rightfully their's. He takes hold of Krista's arm and uses it to drag her up right and put her on a collision course with the turnbuckles. Her back eats the brunt of the anguishing impact, leaving her momentarily stunned. Vincent makes a mad dash to his wounded target, wishing to impale her with a fierce shoulder block! But the only thing that's getting impaled around here is his arm by the steel ring post, as Miss California dodged his attack at the last possible moment! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” sing the now standing audience. Leaving Vinny to grumble about his misfortune, Krissy ascends to the top turnbuckles, leading the audience to roar with frenzied anticipation. Unfortunately for them, [i]Marcellus Wallace[/i] let's the wind out of their sails as he catches Krista unaware, and shoves her off her perch. She falls like a ballast bag tossed from a balloon, flailing her arms about, trying to find someone to snag onto. While her arms catch nothing but empty air, her neck encounters a gruesome meeting with the ring cable, instantly draining her of her precious air supply. Krista flops onto the canvas, hacking and wheezing, but also dazed and unsure of what the hell just happened to her. In the midst of her confusion The South Central Militia take a moment to work out a double team tactic that their certain will prolong their all too short tag title reign. Vincent grabs their bewildered rival and drapes her across his shoulders so that she lies like a wild west damsel in distress. One Eye creeps up behind him, snatching hold of her neck, allowing him to smash her face into the canvas with his end of the unusual move. Suddenly a loud roar shakes the very foundation of the arena! Wallace is made aware of the source of the crowd's happiness as a recovered [b]Alix Spezia[/b], surprises him with a school boy! Unable to stage a proper escape from the shocking pinfall, Wallace's only hope is that his partner will mount a hasty rescue attempt. But he watches that dream go down in brilliant multi colored flames when Krista regains enough of her strength to trap Vincent in a victory roll. CROWD ONE COLE Double roll up! CROWD TWO CROWD [color="#FF0000"][b]THREE![/b][/color] COLE Yes! Yes! The spectators burst with a blustering cavalcade of delighted cheers for the ending they've been waiting nearly twenty minutes to see. Some audience members exchange high fives as if they were the ones who had to deal with these cheating, underhanded thugs from the wrong side of the tracks. A few young children in the first row taunt the heartbroken Militia with chants of “YOU'RE NOT THE CHAMPS! YOU'RE NOT THE CHAMPS!” Meanwhile, Vincent sits in the ring, silently cursing his team for pissing away their first true chance at wrestling stardom. His associate is much more demonstrative in his disgust, overturning chairs, ring steps and monitors in a futile effort to cope with the tremendous anger building within him. BUFFER YOUR WINNER AND NEW OAOAST WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS.....[color="#FF00FF"][b]CHICKS OVER DICKS[/b]![/color] [B]“YEAAAAAAA!”[/B] The SoCal girls exchange their usual hug for their victory, and then proceed to mock the downtrodden SCM's ridiculous victory celebration, by doing Lil Jon's finger snapping dance. The fact that two white women from the suburbs can do the dance better then a black guy from South Central and a white guy who has spent half his life in prison is a source of a great shame for the embittered Militia. COLE All is right in the world, Coach! Everything is back to normal. Well, as normal as it possibly gets in the OAOAST. In this company, cheaters, criminals, convicts, pimps, goons and drug dealers do not and never will prosper. You can't cheat, and steal your way to success here! COACH All is right in the world? You whitewashed bigot! Titles have changed hands on so called dubious circumstances many times before, but not once has the man or woman in charge ever stepped out to grant an instant rematch. But when the company's spoiled little princesses lose, everyone is up in arms! Because Alix and Krista always have to be the focal point. No one else can ever have as much attention put on them as Alix and Krista. And poor Vincent and Marcellus. People always talk about how they need to change their ways, but how are they supposed to do that when every time they get a little something going, The Man has to come and take it away. You think tree hugging liberals like Krista and Alix would have sympathy for the plight of the proletariat, but I see that their no better then the men they protest against. Just 'cause a man done some shit in his time, don't mean he shouldn't get the chance to make something of himself and get him some shine. Just 'cause you're from the streets don't mean you ain't got hopes and dreams like the rest of America. The hopes and dreams of The South Central Militia were unfairly crushed tonight for purely poitical reasons. What do you say to that, Cole? COLE I say that you're a stankin' ass ho.

My match'll probably be an hour or two late, so leave some space, s'il vous plait.

Backstage we go, where we stop, nobody knows! Wait, Patty knows. And Patty says we stop near the arena loading dock, one of the most remote locations you can possibly stumble upon. And who else should be there but the woman who despises interacting with her fellow wrestlers, Krista Isadora Duncan, downing a bottle of Jose Cuervo. Wearing off white capri pants, and a light plaid shirt intricately decorated by rose embroidery, Krista looks to finally have a found a moment's peace from the zaniness of the oaoast. But as usual her tranquility is shattered by one of the OAOAST's many wacky characters. This time it's Melody Nerdly, in jeans and a white Wayne Gretzky Edmonton Oilers hockey jersey, who disrupts poor Krista. MELODY NERDLY Yo, yo, yo, Krissy D! Can I ask you a ques.... KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN (putting her hand up to silence Mel) Wait, before you proceed any further, I need to ask you a terribly important question. One that will determine if you can talk to me, or if the Halifax police department will find your charred remains in a nearby ditch. Would you, in your estimation, say that I'm so fly that ballas in the next room'll nut? MELODY I would say that I probably understood,oh, about maybe ten percent of whatever it is you just said. KRISTA Very good, you're allowed to talk to me. So what's new, pussycat? MELODY Well, Jade told me you were the chick with the master plan, and that anytime I need advice your the cold hearted ice queen to come and see. Well, advice chick, I have arrived to humbly sip from your overflowing fountain of time tested knowledge and experience. KRISTA Okay, right now you're in love, but that'll last for about a year, eighteen months tops. Then the startling realization that you've given the best years of your womanhood to a guy with a nice car, a big bank account, a thinning hairline, a small penis and no braincells, will begin to set in. So my advice is to join some clubs, take up golf or tennis, work with a few charities, and when the time in the bedroom comes, lie still, fake it, throw in a few “Oh, baby! Oh, baby! You're the best I've ever had, and I haven't had many, but if I had had many, which I certainly have not, you, dear sir, you most assuredly would be top of the pops! No friggin quesiton about it, my good man!” and pray for the sweet embrace of death to claim what's left of your once youthful, innocent, spirit. And when you come to your senses come and see me, and I can introduce you to a beautiful Russian tennis coach named Anya. She's got a gorgeous beach house in Malibu, and a yacht in Sausalito. And, if nothing else, she'll get you a killer backhand. I'm talking Steffi Graf killer. You like tennis, right? It's sort of our unofficial sport. MELODY I love tennis. Not to play, or to watch, or to even talk about really, I just love the fact that it's there. So yeah, thanks for the advice. Think ya help me out with something else? KRISTA Why not? I do everything else around here, such as balance people's checkbooks, do their hair and makeup, refinance their mortgage, adjust their auto insurance, and bribe the cops to spend the rest of the evening at Dunkin Donuts when Synth Esizer throws a hooker off a hotel balcony, so surely I can instruct you on how to tell Zack Malibu you're carrying his bastard love child. Hey, wait, before we go on, how are your brothers doing? MELODY Brothers? What brothers? KRISTA Melvin and Marvin. MELODY Who gives a crap? They suck! Let's talk about the one Nerdly who doesn't suck, i.e. let's talk about me. See, I got this problem where the company's paying me a truck load of cash, but I don't ever actually do any real work! Know where I'm coming from here? KRISTA Uh-huh, let me see if I can wrap my brain around your obviously horrible and life threatening quandary. Shouldn't take long, it is the same brain that earned me two masters degrees from Standford, and would've made me valedictorian in high school if wasn't for that slut Emily Goldwyn hooking up with the chemistry teacher. But some cut car breaks and a fatal trip down the rain slicked roads of Dead Man's curve sure fixed the both of them. Yes it did, my pretties, yes it did. MELODY [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/sconf.gif] KRISTA Did I say that out loud? How silly of me to make you an accessory to an unsolved murder. My apologies. So, you're getting paid money to do absolutely nothing. And you've somehow determined that is a problem needing to be corrected? Am I in some kind of bizzaro world where up is down, right is left, and Beyonce is actually considered a talented singer/actress? Because if it is, then pass me a bullet and let me end the misery right here and now. A gun isn't really necessary, I can just kind of mash the bullet into my head real hard over and over again, that should do the trick. MELODY No, look, the problem is that the dudes who run this joint are gonna find out that I'm just a tall, blond, waste of money, and then I'm done for! Fired! Out the door! Pink slipped! Given the boot! KRISTA I don't know about that. I too am a tall, blond, waste of money, and I'm still here. Miserable, emotionally bankrupt, and on the verge of suicide, but still here none the less. MELODY I'm doomed, Krista! No more fuel efficient South Korean economy sized automobile, no more one room apartment with a rent so high it could pay to feed an entire African country, no more subscription to Architecture Digest, and no more self assembled Swedish furniture! I'll have go to back to living with my parents and the rest of my geek family in Edmonton! You don't know what it's like, being forced to attend these stupid Star Trek Conventions in every little hick town in Western Canada! I don't know if it's the combination of the spiked Klingon Ale, or the fact they're out of their moms basement for the first time in six months, but these Trekkie dorks get a little touchey feeley. You have to help me, Krista! I don't want to spend the rest of my days washing the skidmarked underwear of a morbidly obese husband who makes me talk dirty to him in [i]Vulcan[/i]. I don't even know Vulcan, I only know Romulan! KRISTA Calm down, sweetie, Auntie Krista's gonna make all your problems go POOF gone. Did you know in addition to being a former Miss California, a Miss Teen California, a best selling author, an owner of two Master Degrees, and the future owner of a PHD, the founder of a worldwide fitness kingdom, and the president of my daughter's school's PTA, I'm also something of a psychic, I got a little ESP. MELODY Yeah, so do I. [I]Around the Horn[/I] is my favorite. I don't normally say this about older men, but that Woody Paige looks damn good for his age. Damn good! Sorry, bad jokes. Please continue. Krista sighs, then continues her version of the psychic friends network. KRISTA Oh my god, I'm getting a vision right now! How incredibly convenient! It is of you, approaching a tag team, a tag team with a combined IQ of [i]bottle[/i], so stupid that when they added their IQ's together they got a random nonsensical word and not an actual numerical value. And you are telling these lunkheads, these mouth breathing circus monkeys, that you are the greatest, most revered wrestling manager in the history of professional grappling, and you will take them straight to the top out of the kindness of your caring heart and for a forty percent cut of their salary, marketing, endorsements, merchandising and various other ancillary rights. MELODY So, rather then educate the ignorant, and empower them with the knowledge they need to make the world better for themselves and their children, you want me to exploit their ignorance, plunge them into the depths of denigration, squash what little hope they have for a better and more productive life, and make gobs of money off their continued suffering at the same time? KRISTA Yeah, pretty much. MELODY I love it, I love it, I love it. KRISTA And remember if at first you don't succeed.... MELODY Take a chainsaw to their stomachs and harvest their organs for fun and profit! KRISTA Um, I was going to say loosen up those shirt buttons and let your magnificent mammaries fly as free as Alix's dad the day he escaped from San Quentin state prison. But if you do decide to go with your plan B, I personally wouldn't mind having Flex's Phillip's spleen as a nouveau chic coffee table center piece. Hey, seeing that I just helped you, maybe you could do me a favor. My speaker for a banquet at the Getty Center to raise awareness about the endangered Asian Elephant just backed out, and I was wondering if you knew anyone who might be interested in speaking? MELODY Speaking? I don't know anyone who'd be interested in [i]listening[/i]! KRISTA [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/aktion034.gif] While Melody leaves Krista to drown her sorrows in the bottle, we go somewhere else. I don't know where, but it ain't here.

Tag Title Match Chicks Over Dicks Vs The South Central Militia

Hella long show, but I got a chance to read a lot of it, and it was pretty good, probably better then last years AP, though that could be my fucked memory causing me to say crazy shit again. No, I do say that's it's better then last years, terrible memory and all! The graphics were sick with it. The moving road thing is a totally hypno thing. You just stare at the road saying "hey, road, where ya rushing to,young brother?" but the aloof road never answers your calls for friendship and unity. fuk u road, i'm throwin d's on this bitch. Nope, it's supermodel Alessandra Ambrosio. I just thought the Victoria's Secret Pink frisbee was too funny not to be used, especially because I have a box full of those things. Yo, someone tell me what HI-GATE is, 'cause that seems after my time. Hey I dug the Brucester. Hopefully, we'll see him again one day down the line. As I may have or may not have told EWC, he layed out the PPV really well. There weren't any sudden jumps from one match to another everything was just nice and fluid. A real organic groove to the whole show. And trust me laying out a PPV, ain't a whole lot of fun.

A man is heard screaming, which leads in to Speak to Me/Breathe by Pink Floyd. COLE Oh my God... "The Manitoba Mammoth" Deon Black walks through the curtains and down to the ring. COACH Something tells me the "mass of bodies" is about to be thinned out a bit! COLE And what if this man goes on to face Drek Stone, Coach? COACH I don't know, but at this point, that might just be what happens! Brock Ausstin stands in mid-ring waiting on the Mammoth. COLE And Brock Ausstin wants the first crack at him! COACH That guy's crazy! Black climbs onto the apron, then over the top into the ring, and Brock fires off a few rights, but Black floors him with a big headbutt! Meanwhile, Jay Richards has PRL locked in the CROSS-FACE CHICKEN WING~!, but Black gives him a big chop between the shoulder blades, causing the break! COLE And what a shot to Jay Richards! Black delivers a big right to Richards, then grabs him and pitches him to the floor! COLE And Jay Richards can hit the showers! Faqu attacks from behind, but Black knocks him to the mat with a right hand right to the mush! COACH That's got to be like getting hit in the face with a bowling ball! Black tosses Faqu into a corner, and hammers away with blows to the midsection and side of the head. He backs up, and crushes him with an AVALANCHE~!, then grabs him by the head, and tosses him to the floor! COLE And another casualty at the hands of this monster, this time it's the HI-YAH champion Faqu! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 15th elimination: Jay Richards time in ring: 18:33 eliminated: Charlie Moss eliminated by: Deon Black ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 16th elimination: Faqu time in ring: 24:52 eliminated: The Mad Cappa eliminated by: Deon Black Left in ring: Alfdogg, Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Thunderkid, Landon Maddix, Brock Ausstin, Johnny Jax, Deon Black ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Black poses as the crowd boos, then Bo hits him with a clothesline, which staggers him. He hits him with a second. COLE And now Bohemoth trying to chop down the big tree! Bo hits a third clothesline, but no success. Heat flies off the top rope at Black, but gets caught! COLE And Heat is caught! Fly comes off the other side as Black turns around, and he gets caught as well! COLE And Fly gets caught! He's holding two guys right now, amazing! TK is the next to go up top, as Brock gets on all fours behind Black. TK hits a MISSILE DROPKICK~! into the back of Fly, and Black topples over Brock and down to the mat! Brock hops on top of Heat and Fly, followed by PRL, TK, Landon, Jax, and Bo! COLE It's a dogpile on the Mammoth, as we're ready for another one! 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! The buzzer sounds, but no one comes out. COACH What's the deal here? COLE We don't have an entrant here...I'm being told now that this is Jamie O'Hara's turn to enter, and he won't be able to go as a result of that HEINOUS attack by Drek Stone! COACH Well, that's what he gets fo... Coach is cut off by Getting Away With Murder, and an ERUPTION from the crowd. COLE OH MY! COACH ...no way! Zack Malibu slowly pulls himself to the ring, as the crowd is going ballistic! Landon Maddix is SHOCKED standing in the ring. COACH Is he actually going to take part in this match? COLE It appears that way, Coach! COACH And I thought Brock was crazy! What is this guy's problem??? Zack pulls himself under the bottom rope, and Landon pounces immediately, stomping away. Zack pulls himself to his feet, and begins delivering right hands, enciting another explosion from the crowd! COACH I can't believe this! Zack backs into the ropes, and floors Landon with a flying clothesline! He gets up slowly, then grabs an approaching Colombian Heat and tosses him to the floor! COLE And Zack eliminates Colombian Heat! This is a courageous performance we're seeing here, folks! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 17th elimination: Colombian Heat time in ring: 42:58 eliminated: none eliminated by: Zack Malibu Left in ring: Alfdogg, Spanish Fly, Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Thunderkid, Landon Maddix, Brock Ausstin, Johnny Jax, Deon Black, Zack Malibu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Deon Black comes from behind Zack. COLE Oh, no. Black grabs Zack around the throat, but Zack delivers a KICK TO THE BALLS~! COLE But Zack escapes! Bo and Brock come at Black with a double clothesline, which only starts Black over the ropes! COACH Oh, they could have him here! Fly, PRL, TK, Jax, and Zack all lend a hand, as they push Black OVER THE TOP AND TO THE FLOOR~! COACH THEY GOT HIM! COLE Deon Black has been eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 18th elimination: Deon Black time in ring: 3:18 eliminated: Faqu, Jay Richards eliminated by: Spanish Fly, Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Thunderkid, Brock Ausstin, Johnny Jax, Zack Malibu Left in ring: Alfdogg, Spanish Fly, Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Thunderkid, Landon Maddix, Brock Ausstin, Johnny Jax, Zack Malibu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE It took seven men to get it done, but he is out! Landon jumps Zack from behind, and stomps away, as the crowd chants LET'S GO ZACK! LET'S GO ZACK! LET'S GO ZACK! LET'S GO ZACK! COLE And the chants ringing from the hometown crowd for Zack Malibu! Jax comes from behind and attacks Landon, hitting him with crushing forearms. COLE Johnny Jax coming over to Zack's aid! Jax hits a dropkick, sending Landon back into the ropes. Jax charges, but Landon ducks, and Jax goes flying over the top to the floor! COACH Not for long, there he goes! COLE And Johnny Jax eliminated, as we're ready for another one! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 19th elimination: Johnny Jax time in ring: 5:47 eliminated: Deon Black (co) eliminated by: Landon Maddix left in ring: Alfdogg, Spanish Fly, Tha Puerto Rican, Bohemoth, Thunderkid, Landon Maddix, Brock Ausstin, Zack Malibu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! Stars and Stripes Forever hits, and Quentin Benjamin runs to the ring. COLE And a good luck of the draw for the other half of America's Team, Quentin Benjamin! Benjamin slides into the ring, and goes after Alf. COLE So, nine men in the ring now, and two to go! Eleven men are currently eligible for a shot at Drek Stone at AngleMania VI! Benjamin delivers a suplex to Alf, as Fly and PRL tangle in a corner. Landon continues to stomp on Zack, while TK and Brock slug it out. Bo is gaining his wind sitting in a corner. COACH Who haven't we seen yet, Cole? COLE Well, as I look at the list, we've still yet to see the other half of Black T, T-Bod, Tony Brannigan... COACH And who else? COLE And the former X-champion, Reject, has yet to appear as well! COACH Two men who could easily come out here and win this thing late! Benjamin moves over to work on Zack, as Bo goes after Alf. COLE And yes, Alfdogg still in there, as we pass the 53-minute mark of this match, he's been through it all tonight! COACH And what a main event that would be at AngleMania if he pulls it off tonight! Benjamin and Landon pick up Zack, and attempt to dump him, as the crowd screams! COLE But a man with just as big of a hill to climb is Zack Malibu, who is in big trouble right now! They force him over the top rope, but Zack scoots back in under the bottom. Benjamin then goes over and assists Brock, who is being stomped by TK. PRL puts a foot on Zack's throat, as Bo hammers Landon from behind, and Alf stomps away on Spanish Fly. COACH And there's another guy who's been out there a while! COLE Another courageous performance, as Fly has been out there over 40 minutes! Bo whips Landon into the ropes and gives him a powerslam, as the count begins: 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! He's Simply Ravishing! OWW~! COLE And it's Tony Brannigan, the other half of Black T! COACH Dan Black got #2, and Tony gets #29! Talk about getting the breaks! COLE So that means that the final entrant will be Reject, who tries to bounce back from losing the X-title earlier tonight! Tony climbs into the ring, and assists Bo in working over Landon Maddix. COACH You want to pick me a winner, Cole? COLE Well, I think you've got to like Tony's chances at this point, Coach! Reject will be the last entrant, but Reject also had the match earlier tonight with Jamie O'Hara! COACH I'm still gonna go with him, though! I think it's Reject's time to rise here in the OAOAST, and it starts tonight! And Drek Stone vs Reject would be a tremendous main event! As much as I love Alf and PRL, those guys have been out there a long, long time! COLE Well, if you recall last year's Rumble, Reject lasted over 50 minutes in that one! He won't need that endurance tonight, as he'll be the final entrant in the Lethal Rumble match! PRL lifts Zack up over the top rope! COLE And Zack in trouble once again! The crowd is panicking, but Tony hammers PRL from behind, allowing Zack to scoot back in again! Tony is then attacked by Alf from behind. Alf attempts an Irish whip, but Tony reverses. Tony drops down, then attempts a clothesline, which Alf ducks, and then both men clothesline each other! COLE And Alf and Tony both down! With everyone else paired off in corners or down on the mat, Brock and Bo see this as a good time to face off again, as the crowd cheers. COLE And these two look headed for another face-off! This time, it's Bo who throws the first punch, as the two trade blows! Brock gets the better of the exchange, then attempts an Irish whip, but Bo reverses, then catches Brock with a foot to the gut, and sets up a powerbomb! However, Brock counters with a backdrop, then scoops Bo up onto his shoulders! COLE Could be F-STUNNER-5 time! Brock carries Bo over to the ropes, but Bo hangs on and slides over the back, then attempts to dump Brock as the count begins. COLE And Reject will enter the match in ten seconds! 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! Renagade hits, and the crowd boos as Reject walks through the curtains with a smile on his face, and jogs towards the ring. COLE Reject looking awfully confident, and why not, he got the #30 draw in the Lethal Rumble match! Reject stops when he gets to the apron, then sneaks in as Bo and Brock are still tangled on the ropes, and DUMPS BOTH TO THE FLOOR~! COLE And opportunity knocks, and Reject answers, Brock and Bo both gone! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 20th elimination: Bohemoth time in ring: 22:22 eliminated: John "Rock Hard" Brickston, Deon Black (co) eliminated by: Reject ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 21st elimination: Brock Ausstin time in ring: 12:22 eliminated: Felix Strutter, Todd Cortez, Deon Black (co) eliminated by: Reject ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Benjamin attacks Reject from behind, then hits him with a SUPERKICK~! Reject rolls back to the ropes, and Benjamin goes for another SUPERKICK~!, but this time Reject ducks, and Benjamin crotches himself on the top rope! Reject gets to his feet, and sends Benjamin to the floor with a high roundhouse! COLE And Reject on fire in there, as we're down to eight men! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 22nd elimination: Quentin Benjamin time in ring: 4:49 eliminated: none eliminated by: Reject Left in ring: Alfdogg, Spanish Fly, Tha Puerto Rican, Thunderkid, Landon Maddix, Zack Malibu, Tony Brannigan, Reject ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The eight remaining men back off to the sides of the ring, as the crowd starts to cheer. For the most part, everyone stands off by themselves (shades of grey, 81tch), while Tony stands in front of Zack, who leans on the ropes on his knees. COLE And it's come to this! Tony and Zack, the faces of this company! Zack brutalized earlier tonight by Bruce Blank, (camera pans over) and that man, Landon Maddix! The camera pans over to Alfdogg. COLE This match has gone over 57 minutes, and that man has been out there for every second of it! He's going to be sore in the morning, but will he be able to ease the pain by saying he won this match, and now has a shot at becoming the first three-time OAOAST World champion? Pan to Spanish Fly. COLE Or could it be this big-time underdog, who has lasted nearly 50 minutes in his own right? Could Spanish Fly challenge Drek Stone at AngleMania VI? The bodies start to move around the ring, as the camera now focuses on PRL. COLE Or Tha Puerto Rican, who is so obsessed with the fact that he has never held the World championship? Does his vindication come tonight? Back to a wide shot. COLE And then you've got the two former tag partners, the two former Deadly Alliance running buddies, looking for the ultimate in singles glory, and HERE WE GO! TK and Reject, the just-mentioned former partners, tangle, while PRL and Tony go at each other. Alf stomps away at Zack in another corner, while Fly and Landon zoom around the ring trying to land blows. Landon manages to hit a spinning wheel kick! COLE And a nice kick by Landon right there! Landon charges Fly, but Fly catches him with a drop toe-hold, sending him into the ropes! The crowd gets to their feet, as Fly shouts out "6-1-9!" then runs to the ropes, and drills Landon, knocking him to the center of the ring! Fly celebrates, but walks right into PRL, who drills him with the CORPORATE NIGHTMARE~!!!!!11111 COACH YEAH!!! COLE The Corporate Nightmare, and Fly is out like a light! Reject has his hands on his knees behind a cocky PRL, then spins him around and drops him with the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 COLE EULOGY~! PRL is out of it! Reject does the arms outstretched pose, drawing boos, then Tony spins him around and delivers a foot to the gut. He sends Reject into the ropes, and gives him the OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE~!!!!!11111 Meanwhile, Alf scales the top rope. COLE Alf going for it all here... Alf sizes up Landon, and drills him with the FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH~!!!!!11111 Alf flips over on impact onto his back. He then lays on the mat for a couple seconds, before KIPPING UP~! and taunting the crowd, to boos. COACH Look at Alf! He's been there around an hour, and he's... As Alf holds his arms out, Zack levels him with SCHOOL'S OUT~!!!!!11111 The crowd goes BERZERK~! Tony goes at it with TK, then whips him into the ropes, and TK comes back, and the two hit heads! COLE And look at the carnage in the ring! BUZZ~!!! COLE What? Black Sweat by Prince hits, and MISTER WARRIOR runs down the aisle, arms in the air the whole way. COACH What the hell is this goofball doing out here? WARRIOR runs all the way around the ring, then rolls in and hits TK with a clothesline! He bounces off the ropes, and hits Reject with a clothesline! WARRIOR repeats this on Tony, Alf, Zack, Landon, Fly and PRL, then flips over the top rope, landing on his feet on the floor and running to the back, all as Black Sweat continues to play! COLE ...um... COACH Yeah, that's pretty much my response! After a few seconds, everyone starts to stir. Alf gets to his feet first, and clotheslines TK to the floor! COLE And we're down to seven now, Thunderkid eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 23rd elimination: Thunderkid time in ring: 22:37 eliminated: Vitamin X, Deon Black (co) eliminated by: Alfdogg Left in ring: Alfdogg, Spanish Fly, Tha Puerto Rican, Thunderkid, Landon Maddix, Zack Malibu, Tony Brannigan, Reject ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PRL and Fly do battle, as Landon chokes Tony with his foot. Alf approaches Zack, but stops on the way to pat Reject on the back. COACH What do we got here? Reject looks up at Alf, then gets to his feet and gets in his face. Alf raises his hands, as if to say "easy!", then talks Reject into doubling up on Zack. COACH Oh, I LIKE this! COLE Could we be seeing an alliance forming here between Alf and Reject? Reject eventually nods, and the two stomp away at Zack in the corner. The crowd chants once again. LET'S GO ZACK! LET'S GO ZACK! LET'S GO ZACK! LET'S GO ZACK! Alf and Reject cease stomping to taunt the crowd, who showers both with boos. The two then lift Zack in the corner. COLE And Zack in trouble once again! Zack miraculously fights back! COLE But look at the fight, the courage, in Zack Malibu! Zack trades right hands off on both, until Alf gets a thumb to the eye. Alf and Reject then set up Zack, and execute a double back suplex! Both men stop to pose once again, as Reject raises his hands in the air...then quickly turns around, places them on Alf, and TOSSES HIM OUT~!!! COACH WHOA! COLE Alf is GONE! A double-cross by Reject! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 24th elimination: Alfdogg time in ring: 61:06 eliminated: James Riggs, Kenji Kawada (co), Christian Wright (co), Thunderkid eliminated by: Reject ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Reject looks down on Alf, with his hands on his hips. Alf looks up at him, shocked, then stands on his feet as Reject shrugs his shoulders. Reject then waves goodbye to Alf...as Fly dropkicks him from behind, sending him TO THE FLOOR~! COACH NO! COLE And now Reject eliminated, and Alf letting him know about it! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 25th elimination: Reject time in ring: 6:26 eliminated: Bohemoth, Brock Ausstin, Quentin Benjamin, Alfdogg eliminated by: Spanish Fly Left in ring: Spanish Fly, Tha Puerto Rican, Landon Maddix, Zack Malibu, Tony Brannigan ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Alf points and laughs at Reject as he walks back to the back. Reject throws a fit on the floor. COLE Down to five remaining, and Spanish Fly is one of them! Can you believe it? COACH I can't believe it, but I actually think Fly has a chance! Fly stares down PRL, as the crowd cheers. PRL goes for a clothesline, but Fly ducks, and starts delivering right hands! Fly goes to the ropes, and dives into PRL with his legs hooking around PRL's waist, then pushes himself up, and delivers an armdrag to PRL! COLE And he's got PRL going here! Fly charges PRL, who ducks and backdrops him over the top, but Fly lands on the apron! Fly leans through the ropes and shoulderblocks PRL, then springs to the top for a HURRICANRANA~!, but PRL catches him and carries him to the ropes. He tries to dump him, but Fly holds on and 'rana's him over, as PRL BARELY holds on, with one hand grabbing the middle rope and one grabbing the top. Fly thinks he secured the elimination, but PRL swings his legs around and drags himself back in. He then flattens Fly with a clothesline! COLE And Fly thought he had eliminated PRL, but he thought wrong! Fly gets back up by the ropes, and PRL clotheslines him over to the floor! COLE And Spanish Fly, after a REMARKABLE showing, has been eliminated by Tha Puerto Rican! The crowd boos loudly as PRL celebrates, then, as Fly gets up, the crowd gives him a standing ovation. Even T-Bod, warm-hearted SOB he is, gives Fly a little applause as he passes to the entrance. COLE And listen to the crowd in Providence respond to the Spanish Fly! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 26th elimination: Spanish Fly time in ring: 51:28 eliminated: Deon Black (co), Reject eliminated by: Tha Puerto Rican FINAL FOUR: Tha Puerto Rican, Landon Maddix, Zack Malibu, Tony Brannigan ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As one, the Dunkin' Donuts Center crowd rises to their feet as the final four competitors take a moment to gather themselves. COLE For those who don't remember, both Zack and Tha Puerto Rican were in this position last year with Alfdogg and Leon Rodez. Alfdogg ended up walking out the winner after eliminating Zack with a big assist from Axel. Suddenly, both Puerto and Landon bumrush Zack Malibu in the corner, peppering him with right hands (by PR) and knees to the gut (by Landon). COACH Smart move, going after the guy that clearly has little left in the tank. "ZACK! ZACK! ZACK! ZACK! ZACK!" A deafening chant rocks the arena as the fans make known to the world who they are sticking behind. Tony Brannigan decides to get into the fun and pulls PR away from the corner by the hair, but PR makes his displeasure at the interruption known with a back elbow to the face. He tries another, but Tony ducks, the whiff spinning PR around and allowing Tony to pick him up in a fireman's carry and try to pitch him over the top. COLE Look out, Puerto's in a bad place right now! COACH NO! PR grabs the top rope and holds it tightly as Tony tries to muscle him over to the floor. Meanwhile, in the corner, Landon has Zack on the mat and has his foot placed right on Zack's throat, trying to squeeze whatever air and fight is left out of him. PR reaches over and gouges Tony's eyes, causing Tony to release him and stagger away in pain. PR hunches down for a moment, waiting for the right time to charge as Tony shakes the cobwebs out near the ropes. PR charges......but Tony catches him with an Out of Body.....NO, a hotshot on the top rope! COLE Hotshot by Brannigan stops him cold! COACH He was probably hoping that Puerto would bounce right out to the floor, but he hung on. Tony waves for Puerto to get to his feet and charges when he does so.......but Puerto falls back to the mat, pulling down the top rope as he goes down..... .....and Tony goes over and out!! COACH YES! COLE Tony Brannigan is GONE!! What intelligence shown by Tha Puerto Rican in eliminating a former World Champion! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 27th Elimination: Tony Brannigan time in ring: 4:43 eliminated: None eliminated by: Tha Puerto Rican left in ring: Tha Puerto Rican, Landon Maddix, Zack Malibu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tony slaps the floor in anger and frustration as PR gets up and looks out to him, talking smack and making the "title around the waist" motion. COACH It's PR's time! He's two guys away from his dream! COLE He'd better pay more attention to what's going on in the ring then. Indeed, Landon sees that PR is preoccupied and slinks over, waiting for PR to turn around before nailing him with a dropkick that knocks him off his feet towards the ropes.....but PR just bounces on the top rope and lands back in the ring. COACH WHEW! COLE It almost cost him. Puerto's distraction almost cost him everything. PR looks around, eyes wide and lets out a long breath, thankful that he is still in this thing. He gropes at the ropes and begins to pull himself to his feet. He hears a thump behind him and the crowd roar, but his bell is still a little rung. He stands upright and takes a few deep breaths, preparing himself to get back in the frey. He turns back........ .....and all he sees is Zack Malibu's foot filling his vision. KICK WHAM SCHOOL'S OUT! sends PR over the top and crashing to the floor. "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! COLE HE'S GONE! Zack kicked him right out his dream! COACH NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 28th Elimination: Tha Puerto Rican time in ring: 38:21 eliminated: It, Deon Black (co), Spanish Fly, Tony Brannigan eliminated by: Zack Malibu left in ring: Landon Maddix, Zack Malibu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE Two! We're down to two! COACH We might be down to one in a second, Cole! Maddix uses the opening he has after PR's elimination to rush up on Zack from behind and try to bundle him over and out, but Zack hangs on to the ropes as he goes over and lands on the apron. The crowd in Providence lets out a breath after that one. COLE One of these two men will go to Toronto to be in the main event of Anglemania VI. COACH It's the future of the business versus one of the greats of the past and present, Cole! Landon lays in the boots on Zack as he rolls under the bottom rope back into the ring, the stomps becoming more vicious as Landon's adrenaline begins to pump. Landon pulls Zack to his feet and backs him into the ropes, shooting him off and flying through the air, catching Zack with a flying forearm shot on the rebound. Maddix kips up and pounds his chest, motioning that he's going to toss Zack. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" COLE At this point, you have to wonder how much does Zack have left? I mean, we all saw what he went through earlier tonight. COACH I respect Zack coming out here and giving it everything he has, but he's running on the fumes of his fumes right now. Landon reaches over and pulls Zack to his feet, smirking to the crowd as he grabs the back of Zack's tights and rushes him towards the ropes, but Zack fights it again! "COME ON!" Landon yells as he pushes on Zack to try and get him over the top, but Zack is on his 42nd wind of the night and fights it. "ZACK! ZACK! ZACK! ZACK! ZACK!" COLE This crowd is trying to will Zack here. Hell, even I'M cheering for him right now. COME ON, ZACK! COACH Nice objectivity there, Cole. Zack swings back and pops Landon with an elbow, stunning him for a moment. Another elbow and Landon's grasp is loosened. Two more completely frees Zack....but Landon pokes him in the eye! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Landon tries a punch of his own....but Zack ducks under it and fires off a jab! A jab! "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" A jab! (CROWD: "HOOO!") COLE Look at this! A jab! "HOOO!" A jab! "HOOO!" Zack blows a kiss to the crowd, sticks his foot in Landon's gut, and cracks him with an enziguri kick! "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" COLE Mama Said Knock You OUT by Zack! Think that wasn't a message from an old friend? Both men lie prone on the mat, both tired, both beaten, both trying to suck in that last bit of oxygen they need to finish the job. Zack rolls onto his back..... AND KIPS UP~! "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" COACH Where is he getting this from? COLE We are seeing a performance for the ages here tonight in Zack's hometown. Zack walks to the center of the ring and stands with his feet slightly spread, anxiously tapping his left foot on the mat, motioning at Landon and muttering for him to get his ass up. The crowd rises again, knowing and anticipating what's to come. COLE He's set. It's the bottom of the ninth and Big Papi Zack Malibu is set to hit a walk-off homer out of the park. Landon faces the outside as he pulls himself to his feet, working his jaw and shaking his head to try and clear it. Zack shuffles closer as Landon gets to one knee and moves to strike the second he gets to his feet with another SCHOOL'S OUT~! But Landon ducks....... Pitches Zack over the top rope........ CROWD BUT ZACK HOLDS ON TO THE ROPES!!! "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The crowd once again exhales in relief as Zack hangs on to the middle and top ropes, his legs dangling mere feet off the floor. Landon, having launched into a premature celebration, turns when he doesn't hear the bell or his music and sees Zack hanging on for dear life. LANDON COLE Zack Malibu was INCHES away from being eliminated, but somehow managed to hang on and stop his fall! Landon walks over and leans out between the top and middle ropes to slug away on Zack's head and chest to try and loosen his grip and finally finish things off. COACH I don't know how Zack can fight back here! He lets go of the ropes and this is over! Zack absorbs Landon's blows while frantically trying to figure out a way out of this perdicament. "LET'S GO ZACK!" "LET'S GO ZACK!" "LET'S GO ZACK!" "LET'S GO ZACK!" Landon lands another shot to the face.......BUT ZACK BITES HIS HAND! COLE He bit him! Landon recoils in pain and shakes his hand, but that only serves to make Maddix angry as he ducks back under the ropes and wraps the hand around Zack's throat......BUT ZACK LEANS OVER AND BITES LANDON'S FOREHEAD!!! "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Zack leans his head back and headbutts Landon hard, stunning him, and another headbutt is enough to knock him back through the ropes and to the mat. COACH It wasn't pretty, but that's the only way Zack could have fought back. COLE Now he has to get back into the ring. Zack tries to swing his legs over onto the apron, but he cannot get any leverage. He looks over his shoulder and sees Landon begin to stir again, so he does the only thing he can do: he lets his left hand (holding the top rope) slip down to the middle rope which allows him to reach and plant his right foot on the floor. COACH That's one foot! If the other touches, he's gone! COLE Zack's flirting with disaster here! If Landon recovers, all he has to do is push Zack's left leg to the floor and he's going to AngleMania! Landon staggers towards the ropes.....but Zack swings his left leg onto the apron and quickly brings his right leg up next to it just as Landon flings himself towards them. "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE He's back up. COACH But he's not safe. Landon reaches over the top and pulls Zack up to his feet on the apron, throwing his arm over his head and hooking the tights. COLE Landon's going to suplex Zack to the floor! Landon pulls....but Zack blocks! "ZACK! ZACK! ZACK! ZACK! ZACK!" Landon tries again.....but Zack blocks again, hooks Landon's tights, picks him up.....AND CROTCHES HIM ON THE TOP ROPE! "OOOOOOOHHHH!" COACH That's a hurt that's not going away soon. COLE Landon is incapacitated! Zack's got a shot! Zack steps back into the ring and, with one last burst, runs wobbily towards the ropes and flings himself into them to get a head of steam. He charges towards Landon Maddix, leaps, and simply throws his body into him, knocking Landon over....... AND OUT!!!!!! "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Final Elimination: Landon Maddix Time in ring: 19:34 Eliminated: Johnny Jax Eliminated by: Zack Malibu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TEH WINN0R~!: Zack Malibu Time in ring: 13:34 Eliminated: Colombian Heat, Deon Black (co), Tha Puerto Rican, Landon Maddix ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE YES!!! HE DID IT!!!! ZACK MALIBU IS GOING TO ANGLEMANIA AGAIN!!! COACH I can't believe it. I can't believe what I just saw in there. Getting Away With Murder plays over the PA, but you can barely notice that or Howard Finkel's announcement over the deafening cheers as Charles Robinson enters the ring to check on a clearly spent Zack Malibu, who lays facefirst on the mat. Tears are visible in his eyes as he looks up at Robinson and nods. Robinson and another official help Zack to his feet and raise his arm in victory. COLE Zack Malibu has gone through hell over the past year and went through hell in that ring tonight, but right now, Zack Malibu has guaranteed himself another shot at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship in Toronto. COACH Cole! I just realized what that means! If everything stays as it is... COLE That's right, that's going to be our AngleMania main event. COACH Oh...man. Candi, also in tears (but this time tears of joy) rushes to the ring to join her man. The couple embraces and shares a kiss in the middle of the Dunkin' Donuts Center. Candie asks if Zack is ok and Zack nods with a smile before they embrace again. There is not a fan sitting (or a dry eye) in the house as Zack and Candie acknowledge the crowd. COLE Well ladies and gentlemen, we thank you for joining us tonight for Anglepalooza. For Jonathan Coachman, I'm Michael Cole saying goodnight and we will see you at AngleMania VI! The camera closes in on Zack and Candie kissing again as one of the worst nights of Zack Malibu's life has turned into one of the greatest. Because he's going to AngleMania. Fade to black

God of Thunder hits, and the crowd gets to its feet as Thunderkid walks through the curtains, then runs to the ring. COLE And here comes the Heartland champion! TK slides into the ring, and starts hammering away on Alf! COLE And right after his former mentor! TK then floors Strutter with a clothesline! Then one for Cortez! He gives PRL a foot to the gut, then lifts him overhead for a PRESS SLAM~! COACH Oh, no! COLE And look at the power of Thunderkid! TK tosses PRL right on top of Jay Richards! TK is PUMPED, but Faqu decks him from behind as Heat and Fly hit Bo with a double dropkick! Jay Richards assists Faqu in stomping away at TK, while Alf applies a foot to Bo's throat, as Strutter stomps away at him. Fly and Heat go back over to PRL, and again attempt elimination! COLE And will PRL finally go out here? Alf stays on Bo, kicking away in the corner, while Strutter attacks Heat from behind. PRL slides back into the ring, and thumbs Fly in the eye. COACH Still safe! Cortez grabs Faqu from behind, and executes a back suplex! He then chokes away on the mat, while Faqu reaches back up to attempt a choke of his own. Jay Richards goes for a slam on TK, but TK slips behind the back and delivers a belly-to-belly! COLE And a nice suplex by Thunderkid! Strutter gives Heat a foot to the gut, and drops him with a DDT! COACH Well, we've got ten guys in the ring, Cole, I think that's the most we've had! COLE And we've still got four of the first eight entrants, including Alfdogg, who started this match out as the #1 entrant! Alf picks up Jay Richards, who gives him a low blow, and attempts elimination! COACH He may not last much longer, he's in big trouble here! Alf slides back in under the bottom as the count begins... 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! Ch-CHING~! Come and take your Vitamin X! COACH All right! Here comes some help for PR! COLE It's "Prince Vitamin", the 22nd entrant! X jogs to the ring with a big smirk on his face, then rolls into the ring. As X starts doing the Shane O'Mac, Thunderkid, who was about to set up PRL for elimination, spots him from behind. He drops PRL, then stands behind X with his hands on his hips. He looks out to the crowd, before grabbing X by the head and pitching him over the top rope! COACH Oh, NO! COLE And back to the courtyard for Prince Vitamin! That could be record time! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 12th elimination: Vitamin X time in ring: 0:10 eliminated: none eliminated by: Thunderkid Left in ring: Alfdogg, Felix Strutter, Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, Tha Puerto Rican, Faqu, Jay Richards, Bohemoth, Todd Cortez, Thunderkid ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ X is dumbfounded on the outside, as the referees usher him to the back. He is taunted by several fans on his way back. Meanwhile, in the ring, Felix Strutter sets up Spanish Fly, and executes a Falcon Arrow! COACH I'll tell you, Cole, how about Felix Strutter? This guy was a virtual unknown just a few months ago, he came in #5, he's been in there well over half an hour! COLE Definitely a coming-out party of sorts for Felix Strutter, whose partner, Ken Pantera, suffered a very serious knee injury in the first round of the Anderson Cup tournament, and underwent successful surgery just about a week ago! We certainly wish him a speedy recovery, and his partner certainly making the most of his singles opportunities! Strutter then assists Alf as the two of them try to dump Bo over the top! COLE And the 24/7 champ hanging on for dear life in there, as Alf and Strutter have him on the ropes! Bo manages to get back to the mat, then grabs Alf and Strutter and rams their heads together! COLE But he comes out of it nicely, with a double noggin-knocker! PRL comes from behind Bo, and gouges his eyes. Jay Richards joins PRL in the assault, as TK and Heat work over Todd Cortez in another corner. COLE Todd Cortez, one of the "Wildcards" who came in last year, in trouble right now, dealing with TK and Colombian Heat, as we're ready for #23! 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH! COLE (disgusted) Oh, no. Landon Maddix walks through the curtains, as the crowd gives him a standing BOO-vation. (lol, see what I did there?) COLE And here comes the man who attempted to end Zack Malibu's storied career in the OAOAST earlier tonight! Landon walks halfway down the aisle, then jogs the rest of the way and rolls into the ring. He attacks TK from behind, and delivers forearms, then executes a snap suplex. He then backs into the corner, and executes a neck snap as TK sits up! COLE And looking good in there so far, Landon Maddix! Cortez hits Heat with a low blow, then gets to his feet. COLE And the former Martial Law teammates looking to take control of the Lethal Rumble match, and I shudder to think if one of these two came out with the win here tonight! As Landon hammers away on Spanish Fly, Cortez applies the HOOK UP~! to Colombian Heat! COLE And Cortez has the Hook-Up! COACH And that's not Master P and AJ Johnson in there! As Cortez has the hold applied, Landon comes from behind, and delivers a kick between Heat's legs! The crowd audibly groans. COACH And I don't think Heat's gonna be having any hook-ups for a WHILE! Alf chokes away at Faqu in a corner, as Cortez picks TK up off the mat. Cortez measures, and goes for a right hand, but TK blocks, and starts firing off rights on Cortez! COLE But TK's not going to go for this! Landon knees TK in the back from behind, then hooks him for Cortez. Cortez backs into the ropes...but TK escapes Landon's grip, and Cortez decks Landon with a clothesline! COLE Uh-oh! Cortez looks at Landon for a second, then goes after Faqu. Landon gets to his feet and spins Cortez around, then gives him a shove! Cortez shoves back, then the two begin exchanging rights! COLE And the two former partners going at it, and listen to the fans! Bohemoth breaks up the slugfest with a big double clothesline, as the count begins... 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! Punishment by BIOHAZARD hits, and the crowd erupts as Brock Ausstin walks through the curtains. COLE And you talk about a favorite to win this thing... COACH I think business just picked up, as a certain BBQ-loving former colleague would say! Brock does his dance in the entryway, then walks down the aisle. He jumps on the apron, as Landon and Cortez look on at him. When he steps in, Cortez throws Landon to the wolves, and Brock floors him with a clothesline! Brock mows down anything that comes at him, as he levels Richards, Strutter, Heat, Faqu, and PRL with clotheslines and forearm shots! COLE Brock Ausstin a MACHINE in there! Brock then is attacked from behind by Cortez, who jumps on the back of Brock and tries to choke him out. Brock walks around the ring trying to shake him off, then gets a hold of him and slams him forward to the mat, before taking him right over the top to the floor with a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COLE So long, Cortez! Brock then grabs Felix Strutter by the throat. COACH Oh no, not Felix! Brock scoops Strutter on his shoulders, and sends him out on top of Cortez with an F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111 COLE Yes, Felix! Brock Ausstin on FIRE~! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 13th elimination: Todd Cortez time in ring: 8:52 eliminated: none eliminated by: Brock Ausstin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 14th elimination: Felix Strutter time in ring: 39:02 eliminated: Kenji Kawada (co), Christian Wright (co) eliminated by: Brock Ausstin Left in ring: Alfdogg, Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, Tha Puerto Rican, Faqu, Jay Richards, Bohemoth, Thunderkid, Landon Maddix, Brock Ausstin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brock is FIRED UP, as Bohemoth stands behind him. Brock turns around, and spots him. The ring almost comes to a standstill. COLE And look who awaits him now! COACH I like this! Brock walks closer to Bo, then steps in his face as the two take a flashbulb shower. Bo shoves Brock off, then Brock shoves back, and throws a right as Bo comes back! The two trade rights as the crowd goes crazy! COLE And Brock and Bo hammering it out, a true heavyweight fight! Listen to the fans! The two tangle up in a corner, as Faqu stomps on Landon Maddix in another corner. Meanwhile, Alf drives a knee into Bo's back from behind, then kicks away at Brock in the corner. Brock turns it around, however, and pounds away on Alf! COLE A historic rivalry re-kindled, as it's Brock with the advantage, as we're ready for our 25th entrant! 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! Make Her Say hits, and Johnny Jax runs to the ring. COLE And it's the other half of the GPX, Johnny Jax! Jax slides in the ring, as Brock has Alf on the ropes! COLE And Alf could finally go! Jax goes over wisely and helps out on Alf, but Richards jumps Jax from behind. Bo reaches over to give a hand on Alf as well, as Heat goes underneath the ropes to pull. Alf is over the ropes with his back facing the floor, but frees a hand, and quickly pokes Heat, Bo, and Brock in the eyes, then falls between the top and middle ropes back in. COACH Is this guy amazing or what? COLE Coming up on 47 minutes now for last year's Rumble winner! Jax stomps away on Landon Maddix, while PRL takes Brock down from behind. Heat and Fly double-team Jay Richards, as Alf executes a T-BONE SUPLEX~!! on TK! Faqu hammers him from behind, then delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!! And another, which sends Alf to the mat! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!! Faqu backs up, then falls forward with a headbutt! Jay Richards comes up from behind Faqu, and stomps on his toes, then delivers a dropkick! COACH Now, Faqu's been in there over 20 minutes, why hasn't anyone else thought to do that? Brock is hammering PRL on the mat, until Richards delivers a sliding dropkick to him! COLE Nice dropkick by Richards, and again, two former S.H.I. mates going at it! Richards stomps away on Brock, and PRL joins him, but then PRL thumbs Richards in the eye! COLE Can't trust anyone in this match! PRL attempts a piledriver, but Richards counters with a backdrop! Richards then clotheslines PRL, and slides underneath the bottom rope to the apron. Richards springs over, attempting a hurricanrana, but PRL catches him with a powerbomb! COLE Great counter by PRL, and we're ready for another man in this mass of bodies! 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!!

Fuel by Metallica hits, and John "Rock Hard" Brickston runs to the ring. COLE #16, John "Rock Hard" Brickston! Brickston slides in, but is cut off by PRL. COLE And PRL right there to meet his former protege! PRL briefly stomps away at Brickston, then picks him up and whips him into the ropes. Brickston hops over PRL as he drops down, then runs over him with a clothesline! COACH Big clothesline! Heat floors Alf with a dropkick, then backs off Brickston, and gathers Fly and Cappa, as they join arms. COACH What are they setting up here? As Alf, Strutter and PRL stagger to the middle of the ring, they're hit with a QUADRUPLE CLOTHESLINE~! COLE A string of clotheslines, what a move! Brickston picks up PRL and puts him over the top! COLE And PR in trouble again! Cappa comes over to help on him, but PRL is able to slip back in between the bottom and middle rope. Fly digs a knee into the back of Alf's head, as Strutter goes to the eyes of Heat, then comes over and gives Alf a hand. Faqu goes to work on Cappa, as Brickston stays on PRL. COLE Sixteen men have entered, and half of them have hit the showers, eight men in there now! Faqu whips Cappa across the ring, and Cappa hops to the second rope, and does a backflip. Faqu ducks as Cappa flies over him and lands on his feet, then hits Faqu with a dropkick, sending him into the ropes. Cappa then charges with a clothesline, but Faqu ducks and lands a thrust kick, sending Cappa backwards over the top and to the floor! COLE And the Mad Cappa eliminated! Great kick by Faqu! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 9th elimination: The Mad Cappa time in ring: 3:30 eliminated: none eliminated by: Faqu left in ring: Alfdogg, Felix Strutter, Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, Tha Puerto Rican, Faqu, John "Rock Hard" Brickston ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Faqu catches a charging Brickston with a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!! And a third: Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!! He grabs him by the head and throws him over, but Brickston holds on and slides back in. COLE And almost another elimination right there! Heat goes after Faqu next, promptly losing a slugfest, as Strutter chokes at PRL in another corner, as the countdown begins... 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! Saturday Night's All Right hits. COACH What in the world? Jay Richards walks through the curtains and raises his arms in the air, as the crowd welcomes him back! COACH WHOA! COLE It's Jay Richards! We haven't seen him in a LONG time! Richards plays to the crowd for a bit at the entryway, then runs down the aisle and slides into the ring. COLE What a surprise, the return of Jay Richards to the OAOAST after over a year's absence! Richards grabs Heat from behind, and delivers kicks to the midsection, then backs off and floors him with a dropkick! Fly leaves Alf, and gets caught with a dropkick himself! COACH And looking pretty sharp in there early on, Cole! However, Faqu grabs him from behind and delivers a headbutt, sending him down to the mat! Faqu then lays Richards across the ropes, and plants a foot, choking him on the bottom strand. Brickston attempts a bodyslam on Alf, who slips behind the back and floors him with a SUPERKICK~! COLE And a nice kick right there from Alf! Felix Strutter then picks up Brickston, sets him up, and plants him with the THUNDER BAY THROTTLE~!!!111 COACH And Felix puts the cherry on the sundae! However, before Felix and Alf can dump Brickston, Heat comes off the top with a flying bodypress, flooring both men! COLE And Heat flies through the air! PRL decks Faqu from behind, and he releases his choke on Richards. PRL sets up Faqu, and delivers a foot to the gut, followed by the CAPPA KILLER~!!! COACH Way to go, PR! PRL plays to the crowd, drawing boos, as Richards squirms behind him and delivers a low blow! Richards then scoops up PRL and attempts to dump him out! COACH Oh, no! COLE And now it's Jay Richards who has PR in major trouble! PRL squirms, and manages to hook his legs around the waist of Richards, then hooks him in a sleeper hold as they fall to the mat. Heat stomps away at PRL, as Faqu and Brickston exchange some shots in a corner. Alf and Strutter double-team on Fly, then attempt to dump him. COLE Fly close to being eliminated! However, Heat comes over for the save. Heat then attempts to dump Strutter, as Alf grabs Heat. Faqu joins the pile-up, as the count begins... COLE We're ready for another one! 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! Stars and Stripes Forever plays, and Charlie Moss jogs to ringside. COLE And it's one-third of the Six-man tag champs, Charlie Moss! COACH We're back up to nine in the ring again! Moss slides in, and hammers away on Jay Richards. COACH And these two are former stable-mates, if you recall, Cole! COLE Absolutely, as a part of Stevens/Heyross Incorporated! Moss picks up Richards and whips him to the ropes, catching him with a back elbow! Moss then goes to work on Felix Strutter, stomping away at him on the mat. Meanwhile, Brickston floors Faqu with a BIG BOOT~! COLE And a big foot to the face from John Brickston! Moss whips Strutter chest-first into the buckles, then catches him with the STO BACKBREAKER~! He then scoops up Strutter and lays him over the ropes...but as he does, Richards comes from behind and dumps him to the floor! COLE Oh, and Moss eliminated, but Strutter able to hang on! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 10th elimination: Charlie Moss time in ring: 0:53 eliminated: none eliminated by: Jay Richards left in ring: Alfdogg, Felix Strutter, Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, Tha Puerto Rican, Faqu, John "Rock Hard" Brickston, Jay Richards ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COACH Richards saw a 2-for-1 opportunity there, but Felix able to hang on, and what a showing he's made for himself! COLE Absolutely, and a quick night for Charlie Moss, as he's very upset heading back to the locker room! Richards waves goodbye as Moss heads to the back, but gets caught by Alf from behind with the BLUE THUNDER BOMB~! COACH And no love lost between these two, either! Alf follows up with a snap legdrop, but gets floored by a clothesline from Brickston! COLE And Brickston keeps hitting people with that clothesline! Brickston picks up Alf, and sets him up for the KILLSWITCH~!!!111, but Alf slips out, and delivers a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COACH And a nice counter by Alf, and we've got to be coming up on another guy here! COLE Very soon! Alf taunts Brickston on the mat, and runs right into a PELE KICK~! from Heat! COLE Alf walked right into that Pele kick, and here it comes now! #19 on the way! 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* The crowd roars as Liberate continutes and Bohemoth walks through the curtains. COLE And here come the heavy hitters in this match! Bo jogs to the ring and slides in, delivering BIG clotheslines to Jay Richards and Felix Strutter! COLE And the Metrosexual Monster on fire in there! Brickston approaches Bo, and gets caught in a SPINEBUSTER~! COACH WHOA! COLE BIG-TIME spinebuster! Bo scoops up Brickston, and easily tosses him to the floor! COACH Bye-bye Brickston! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 11th elimination: John "Rock Hard" Brickston time in ring: 6:37 eliminated: none eliminated by: Bohemoth Left in ring: Alfdogg, Felix Strutter, Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, Tha Puerto Rican, Faqu, Jay Richards, Bohemoth ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PRL throws a tackle at Bo, and Alf and Strutter pound away at him as PRL holds. COLE And smart by the other participants, they've got to slow Bo down! Faqu joins the frey, delivering a kick to Bo's sternum, as Bo sinks in the corner. Faqu stomps away at him there, as Strutter applies a foot to the throat. Alf goes to work on Heat, while Fly and Richards do battle in a corner. COLE And PR sort of picking his spots in there, eight men currently in the ring! PRL sneaks up and hammers Strutter from behind, then whips him into the ropes and catches him with a samoan drop! PRL applauds himself after the move. COACH Yeah! Good move, PR! Faqu lifts Bo up to his feet, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!! However, Bo fires back with a right hand! The two big men exchange chops and rights, before Bo delivers a knee to the gut, followed by a bodyslam! Bo backs into the ropes, setting up an elbowdrop, but Faqu rolls out of the way! COLE And a heated exchange there by the HI-YAH champion Faqu, and the former champ Bohemoth! Richards has Fly on the brink of elimination, but Heat makes the save as the count begins... 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! Oh No hits, and "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez makes his way to the ring, getting quite a negative response. COLE Two-thirds of the way through with Todd Cortez! Cortez slides in, and starts stomping away on Colombian Heat. COACH And Cortez is fresh! We've got a lot of tired guys in there, Cole! COLE Alfdogg most of all, he was the first man to enter, but Felix Strutter, along with Heat and Fly, were among the first entrants, as well! Cortez picks up Heat, and executes a vertical suplex. He then starts choking Heat on the mat, as Fly comes over to help his partner. Fly hooks a sleeper from behind, but Cortez backs him into the corner to break loose. Bo charges Cortez with a clothesline, but Cortez ducks, and Bo crashes into Fly in the corner! COLE And a collision there, inadvertent, between Bo and Fly! Cortez hooks Bo from behind, and delivers a Russian legsweep! Cortez rolls through, and drops a leg! COLE And that's one of the patented moves of Todd Cortez, as he's looking really sharp in there right now! However, he turns around right into a SUPERKICK~! from Alf! COACH But all it takes is one move, Cole, and everything turns around! PRL catches Alf with a spinning wheel kick! He then picks Alf up and sets up a suplex! COLE And Alf being set up here... PRL lifts Alf, and executes a suplex! He rolls through, and delivers a second! He then holds on the third, doing the "You Can't See Me!" gesture with his free hand, before bouncing Alf off the ropes and completing the third suplex! PRL then applauds himself. COLE And the Corporate Trifecta for Alf, who has been out there nearly 38 minutes! Fly dropkicks Richards, sending him through the ropes to the floor! COACH Jay went between the ropes, so he's not eliminated! Fly does a baseball slide to the apron, then springs to the second rope, and does a MOONSAULT to the floor on Richards! COLE And action spilling out to the floor here in the Lethal Rumble match, as we're about to add another! Fly hammers on Richards, then tosses him back inside as the count begins... 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!!

The "Star Wars" disco theme plays, and It walks to the ring, as the fans stand mystified. COLE And It's on his way to the ring! COACH What is? COLE It is! COACH WHAT??? COLE It, one of the newest OAOAST superstars! This is a very mysterious individual, folks! It slowly climbs into the ring, as Felix Strutter looks on confused. It delivers a kick to the gut, then whips Strutter to the ropes. It backs in the opposite way, and catches Strutter with a flying back elbow! COACH Well, whatever It is, It just gave a nice elbow to Felix Strutter! It goes for a cover, which prompts a referee to lean inside and wave it off, explaining to It the elimination process. COLE And It going for a cover, I think this match may be a little new to him! It gets up, then grabs Strutter and tries to dump him over the top, but Strutter escapes. Alf attacks It from behind, then he and Strutter whip It to the ropes. It ducks a clothesline, then is able to simultaneously hook Strutter in a headscissors and Alf in a headlock, and falls forward, taking them both over to the mat! COACH Wow! COLE And It with a great counter right there! Wright comes at It, but gets caught with a foot to the gut. It whips Wright to the ropes, and catches him with a backdrop! Meanwhile, Heat and Fly grab Alf and try to put him over the ropes! COLE And Alf in trouble once again! Heat stays on Alf, while Fly goes over to Kawada and delivers some kicks. Black has Strutter close to elimination in a corner, but Alf goes to the eyes of Heat and slides back in, then knees Black in the back. COACH See, if Fly would have stayed there and helped his partner, Alf could be eliminated right now! COLE Oh, stop, these guys have been working well together in this match! Alf and Strutter then combine to lift Black over the top! COLE And now it's Dan Black teetering on elimination! However, Black is able to hang on and slide in under the bottom rope. Alf and Strutter begin to stomp Black, until Heat helps out, attacking Strutter from behind. Heat delivers a snap suplex to Strutter, while Kawada has taken advantage on Fly, and is threatening elimination! COACH Here goes Fly! Heat gets to his feet, and delivers a shot to the gut of Kawada, allowing Fly to come back in! COLE And Heat there to help his partner, as we're ready for another entry! 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! LIGHTNING CREW! The crowd starts to boo as No Chance in Hell plays and the Cuban Wall runs out to the ring. COLE And the heavy hitters starting to come out, here's the Cuban Wall! Wall slides in and goes after Colombian Heat. COACH It's starting to get crowded in there now, Cole! COLE Nine men in the ring, three have been eliminated, Scotty Static of the GPX, James Riggs, as well as El Espirito! Wall picks up Heat and delivers a side slam, then comes from behind and hammers away on Kawada. Kawada turns into Wall, then starts firing back. COACH Some big time hits being exchanged in there right now! Wall delivers a knee to the gut of Kawada, then whips him into the ropes. Kawada ducks a boot, and floors Wall with a Dynamite Kid-style clothesline! COLE And a BIG clothesline from Kawada! It runs to the ropes, and does a flip splash on Wall, immediately followed by a backflip splash! Black then delivers a European uppercut to It, as Alf attacks Kawada from behind. Christian Wright hammers away on Heat in a corner, while Fly and Strutter go at it. COLE And now we've all paired off, as Wall gathers his senses on the mat! As Wall gets to his feet, everyone sets up Irish whips in a corner, and Alf, Strutter, Wright, and It are all whipped mid-ring into Wall as the crowd goes crazy! The faces play to the crowd as the five men all fall to the mat. COLE And the crowd loved that one! Heat and Fly grab Christian Wright and attempt to dump him over the ropes, while Kawada goes back to pounding Alf. Black hammers away on Strutter, while It and Wall continue to gather their senses. It goes over to Black and hammers him from behind, then starts going to work on Strutter himself. As Wright is able to escape elimination, It has Strutter on the ropes as the count begins... 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! THE CHAMP IS HERE!!! COACH OH YEAH! As Know Your Role 99 plays, PRL runs to the ring. COLE Will 13 be PRL's lucky number, in getting him to AngleMania and finally winning the World title? As It continues his attempt to eliminate Strutter, PRL slides in and dumps him to the floor! COLE And PRL has eliminated It! COACH Wh... COLE Don't start. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 4th elimination: It time in ring: 4:13 eliminated: none eliminated by: Tha Puerto Rican left in ring: Alfdogg, Dan Black, Felix Strutter, Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, Kenji Kawada, Christian Wright, Cuban Wall, Tha Puerto Rican ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It attempts to slide back into the ring, but the referees hold him back. COLE And It trying to get back inside, again, once you hit the floor, you're eliminated! Dan Black hammers away on Christian Wright in a corner, then goes over to give Felix Strutter a couple shots. Wright comes out of the corner and tries to bring himself up using the ropes. As he is doing this, Black looks over at him, then charges...but Wright ducks down and backdrops him to the floor! COLE And Dan Black now eliminated! A great effort having been in since the start of the match, but one half of Black T now eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 5th elimination: Dan Black time in ring: 22:37 eliminated: El Espirito eliminated by: Christian Wright left in ring: Alfdogg, Felix Strutter, Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, Kenji Kawada, Christian Wright, Cuban Wall, Tha Puerto Rican ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Cuban Wall charges at Kawada with a big boot, but Kawada ducks and Wall straddles himself on the top rope! Kawada then backs into the ropes, and clotheslines Wall, sending him to the floor! COACH And they're dropping like flies now, Cole! COLE Cuban Wall eliminated! Wright tries a sneak attack clothesline on Kawada, but Kawada sees it coming and ducks, then tries to push Wright over the ropes, only to see Alf and Strutter come from behind and dump BOTH MEN to the floor! COLE And two more go, Kawada and Christian Wright eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 6th elimination: Cuban Wall time in ring: 2:50 eliminated: none eliminated by: Kenji Kawada ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 7th elimination: Christian Wright time in ring: 7:00 eliminated: Dan Black eliminated by: Alfdogg, Felix Strutter ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 8th elimination: Kenji Kawada time in ring: 9:00 eliminated: Cuban Wall eliminated by: Alfdogg, Felix Strutter left in ring: Alfdogg, Felix Strutter, Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, Tha Puerto Rican ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COACH And just like that, we're down to five guys in the ring! COLE The number of combatants cut in half in a span of about 60 seconds! Alf and Strutter get in a corner, as do Heat and Fly, while PRL stands off alone. Slowly, everyone spreads out, and Fly goes after PRL, while Alf and Strutter both jump Heat. COACH This one a little easier to call now! Alf and Strutter lift Heat over the ropes, and PRL momentarily comes over to help. Fly shortly follows, and grabs Heat's leg, trying to keep him in, while simultaneously trying to scoop Strutter over. COLE And these five men fighting it out in a bunch, all competing for the same prize, a shot at the World title at AngleMania, and we're about to add a sixth! Can Alfdogg become the first three-time OAOAST World champion? Will PRL finally get over the hump, and win the title for the first time? 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! Spirit in the Sky hits, and Faqu walks to the ring to a nice ovation. COLE Or can this man do the unprecedented, and become a double World champion? It's the HI-YAH champion Faqu at #14! COACH And this guy wrestles very similar to Kenji Kawada, who we saw earlier, very hard-hitting style! Faqu slides in, and delivers a big forearm blow to the back of PRL. He then drags him to mid-ring, and floors him with a big headbutt! COLE And PRL finding that out first-hand right now! Alf goes over to Faqu, and takes a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!! Faqu then delivers a double chop to the collarbone area, before whipping Alf to the ropes and catching him with a powerslam! COLE And these two men had a very exciting match months back, that saw Faqu win via disqualification! Strutter jumps on the back of Faqu and hooks a sleeperhold, as PRL delivers rapid-fire shots to the gut. Faqu goes to his knees, and Strutter and PRL immediately stomp away. COACH And that's what you need against Faqu, help! 1-on-1 ain't gonna get it done! Strutter and PRL pick up Faqu, and team up to deliver a double suplex! Alf then gets to his feet, and grabs Faqu's legs, hooking him in the SHARPSHOOTER~!!! COLE Alf with the Sharpshooter hooked on Faqu! Faqu grabs his hair as Alf cinches back on the hold, but Fly comes to the rescue with a dropkick from behind! COLE And Fly assists Faqu in breaking the hold! Strutter delivers a foot to the gut of Fly, and attempts a DDT, but Fly counters with a backdrop. PRL then catches Fly from behind with a Back Cracker~! COLE Tremendous move that time by PRL! As Faqu tries to get to his feet, Alf chokes him on the ropes. Heat and PRL go at each other in a corner, and Alf breaks his hold on Faqu to join in the frey as the count begins: 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! Breathe by Fabolous hits and The Mad Cappa runs to the ring. COLE We're at the midway point with the Mad Cappa! Alf and Heat separate from PRL as Cappa slides in, and immediately tackles him to the mat! COLE And a long-standing rivalry between these two men! PRL and Cappa roll around on the mat, then get to their feet, where they exchange punches. Cappa gets the better of the exchange, then whips PRL into the ropes, catching him with a flying back elbow! COLE And the fans loving the PRL-Cappa showdown! Cappa then attempts to dump PRL! COACH Hang on, PR! PRL struggles breifly, then goes to the eyes. PRL then goes for a clothesline, which Cappa ducks, then sets a foot to the gut, to set up the BUST A CAP~!!!111 However, PRL pushes Cappa off into the ropes, and catches him with the LATIN SLAM~!!! COACH What action! PRL groggily gets up, then walks right into a thrust kick from Faqu! COLE And what a kick from Faqu! COACH I hope PR's orthodontist bills are caught up! Alf lifts Fly onto his shoulders in a fireman's carry, and attempts to dump him. COLE We've reached the halfway point of the match, 15 have entered, and the #1 man, Alfdogg, still remains! Heat delivers a headbutt to the midsection of Alf, as Fly drops to the apron, and steps back in. Heat holds Alf's arms back, as Fly delivers kicks to the midsection. Faqu has Strutter in the corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!! Faqu then tries to dump Strutter, as Heat and Fly have Alf in the corner! COLE And Alf and Strutter both in trouble now! Alf rakes the eyes of Heat and Fly, then delivers a low blow to Faqu, allowing Strutter to slide back in as the count begins... 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!!

Gasolina by Daddy Yankee plays, and Colombian Heat gets a nice ovation as he makes his way to the ring. COLE And Colombian Heat is #6! Heat slides into the ring and goes after Strutter, delivering big rights, then a clothesline sending Strutter down to the mat! Heat then bounces off the ropes and floors Riggs with a clothesline, then does the same to Alf! Heat then jumps on a buckle and does the "W" hand signal! COLE And Heat comes out blazin! COACH Oh, that's very cute. Heat drags James Riggs into a corner and starts hammering away, as Scotty Static goes to work on Alf. Strutter rakes Heat's eyes from behind, and delivers a backbreaker. Strutter then goes up to the top rope. COACH I don't know how smart this is on the part of Felix! As Strutter gets to the top rope, Heat gets to his feet and shakes the ropes, causing Strutter to fall crotch-first onto the corner! COLE Not smart at all! Heat yells for Black as he climbs the buckles, and Black lays off of Riggs long enough to scoop Heat onto his shoulders. COACH Oh my God... Black assists Heat in delivering a STACKED-UP SUPERPLEX to Felix Strutter! COLE And Strutter goes crashing into the canvas, after that devastating double-team superplex! A faint HO-LY SHIT~! chant can be heard from the crowd, as the move took a lot out of both Heat and Strutter, who lay prone on the mat. COACH What a move that was, Cole! Black gets to his feet and grabs Riggs by the head, and brings him over to Scotty, who has Alf's head, and the heads are rammed together! COLE And the old double noggin-knocker! Suddenly, Scotty grabs Black from behind and pitches him over the top rope! COACH Oh, look here! Black hangs on and jumps back in, then gets to his feet and approaches at Scotty, then the two exchange shoves before tying up. Black grabs Scotty in a side headlock and takes him down to the mat, then Scotty reaches up and grabs a headscissors. COLE And a nice, clean wrestling exhibition going on here! Black turns to his feet, and flips over on top of Scotty. Scotty lays on the mat for a second, then bridges up, and turns over. He releases the waistlock and grabs a side headlock. Black pushes him off into the ropes, then backs in himself. Scotty ducks a clothesline, and both men clothesline each other mid-ring! The crowd applauds politely as both men lay on the mat. COLE And a nice show of respect from the crowd in Providence! Heat catches Alf out of nowhere with a spinning wheel kick, as the countdown begins... 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! The "Halloween" theme plays. COACH OMG, IT'S THE SAMOAN SWAT TEAM~!!! Actually, El Espirito makes his way out. COLE No, it's not! It's El Espirito at #7! COACH Well, EXCUSE ME, Princess. Espirito slides in, and attacks Heat from behind. Heat fires back, and the two move like greased lightning across the ring, a sequence ending in Espirito delivering a flying spinning front kick into Heat's chest, drawing oohs and ahhs from the crowd! COACH Look at the speed of these guys! COLE Very impressive stuff from El Espirito! Black approaches Espirito next, and receives some rapid-fire kicks to the legs. As Espirito kicks away in the corner, Scotty lifts Alf in a bodyslam to set him up for elimination! COLE And Alf in trouble again! However, James Riggs is measuring, and levels Scotty from behind with the ROLLING KOPPOU~!!!111, sending Scotty tumbling over the top of Alf and down to the floor! COACH Whoa, we got one! COLE It's Scotty Static out on the floor, the first elimination of the night! What a shot from Riggs! Scotty holds the back of his head on the floor as the referee checks on him. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1st elimination: Scotty Static Time in ring: 6:42 eliminated: none eliminated by: James Riggs Left in ring: Alfdogg, Dan Black, James Riggs, Felix Strutter, Colombian Heat, El Espirito ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COACH So seven guys in, we've got our first elimination. Riggs plays to the crowd, which boos him in response. COLE And a lot of confidence in James Riggs at the moment! Alf applauds Riggs while sitting on the mat, then holds up his hand, and Riggs slaps him five. Alf holds out two thumbs up to him, as Riggs heads over to Black. COLE And Alf trying to catch his breath, he's in for a long night, as is Dan Black, as are all of these men! Riggs delivers a backbreaker to Black, then sets him up on the ropes. As soon as he does, Alf pops up from his spot in the corner, rushes over, and dumps Riggs to the floor from behind! COLE Oh, and Riggs eliminated now, what a setup! There wasn't a damn thing wrong with Alf! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2nd elimination: James Riggs time in ring: 9:24 eliminated: Scotty Static eliminated by: Alfdogg Left in ring: Alfdogg, Dan Black, Felix Strutter, Colombian Heat, El Espirito ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Alf laughs at Riggs on the floor, as Riggs and Staci are up in arms. Staci begins to scream at Alf, and Alf responds with the "back off" gesture (where you hold your hand with your palm facing down, and move your four fingers up and down), at which point Staci immediately stops screaming, and starts stomping up and down on the floor before Riggs finally escorts her to the back. COLE And Staci is hot, in more ways than one! Looks like page 45's going to have to wait for another night. COACH Well, tough break for James, but he put his trust in the wrong guy right there! Heat brings Strutter over, and grabs Alf's head from behind, ramming them together, as the countdown begins... 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! Krokodilamadurinn plays, and Spanish Fly runs to the ring. COLE And it's Spanish Fly coming in at #8! So another group of good friends in there now! COACH Ah, I don't know about that, Cole! You saw what happened in the tag match earlier tonight! As Black hammers on Strutter in a corner, Fly slides in and is met by El Espirito. More running across the ring ensues, and Fly is able to land a flying chop! COLE Incredible speed being shown here by Espirito and the Fly! Alf hammers on Heat in a corner, then whips him across. Heat springs over the top of Alf, then turns around...and at the same time, Espirito ducks a Fly dropkick, causing Heat to take it! COACH See? What did I tell you, Cole? COLE Oh, stop! That was an accident! Heat questions Fly's motives, as Fly tries to plead his case. Eventually, Fly turns back to Espirito, at which point Alf shoves Heat from behind right into Fly! Heat turns back and approaches Alf as Alf "begs off", and Fly spins Heat around and decks him with a right hand! COACH Look at that, Cole! They hate each other, I'm telling you! COLE Oh, please, Alf shoved Heat right into Fly on purpose! He knew what he was doing! Fly attempts an Irish whip on Heat, which Heat reverses, and attempts a tilt-a-whirl on Fly, but Fly lands on his feet, then hooks his legs around Heat's waist, pushes himself up with his hands, and catches Heat with a BULLDOG~! COLE And a nice bulldog by Fly on his tag team partner, Colombian Heat! COACH Maybe not after tonight! Fly then picks up Heat and tries to dump him over, but Heat struggles free and shoves Fly to the mat. Fly gets up, and the two get in each other's face and start talking to one another. Strutter grabs Fly from behind, and tries to dump him, but Heat immediately puts a stop to that. COACH Now why would he save the guy after he tried to eliminate him? COLE I think deep down, these guys are still friends. The competition's just getting the better of them out here! Heat pulls Fly back in, and calms him down, and the partners share a high ten, then go to work on Alf. COACH Oh, come on! COLE Time for #9! 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! Smells Like Teen Spirit hits, and Kenji Kawada gets a nice ovation as he walks to the ring. COLE And Kenji Kawada in no hurry, taking his time, smart! Kawada climbs in slowly, and delivers some STIFF~! blows to Felix Strutter. COACH Oh, man! This guy's a hard hitter! Kawada goes after Espirito next, delivering a couple forearms to the back, then hooking him from behind and delivering a release German suplex! COLE And Espirito folded up like an accordion! Dan Black then easily picks up Espirito, and pitches him over the top to the floor! COLE And Espirito is gone! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 3rd elimination: El Espirito time in ring: 4:37 eliminated: none eliminated by: Dan Black Left in ring: Alfdogg, Dan Black, Felix Strutter, Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, Kenji Kawada ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Alf and Strutter are double-teaming Heat, as Fly helps out, going to the eyes of Strutter. Meanwhile, Kawada has turned his attention to Black. COACH Black's taken some tremendous shots already, it won't get any easier from here! Kawada delivers hard shots to Black in the corner, as Alf and Strutter deliver a double back suplex to Heat, then Strutter and Fly go at it as Alf jumps Kawada from behind. Alf delivers shots to the back, then whips him into the ropes. Kawada reverses, then catches Alf with a HARD back elbow! COLE Oh, and Alf goes down in a heap! COACH He might want to check his teeth after that one! Kawada picks up Alf, and sets up a powerbomb. Alf slips free in front, then quickly grabs Kawada and delivers a snap suplex! Strutter comes over to help Alf as the count begins again... 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! Tear Away plays, and Christian Wright is soaked in boos as he makes his way out. COACH All right! COLE It's the Moral Highground, Christian Wright! Wright jogs down, and slides in, going after Colombian Heat, choking him in the ropes as he was trying to get up. Fly comes to the aid of his partner, but Wright saw it coming, delivering a back elbow to Fly. Wright poses, then catches a BIG clothesline from Kawada! COLE And Wright picked the wrong time to pose right there! COACH Absolutely, you can't have your back turned on Kawada! Kawada takes Wright into a corner, while Alf and Strutter once again attempt to dump Black. COLE Black in trouble again! Heat and Fly come over for the save, as Heat pairs off with Strutter and Fly with Alf. Irish whips, and Alf and Strutter are sent into each other! Kawada then delivers a big double clothesline! COLE And another big blow from Kawada! Black then jumps Kawada from behind, before going after Wright. Black delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! And a third! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Wright thumbs Black in the eye, then spins him around and delivers a CHOP~! of his own! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! And a third! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Wright then delivers a belly-to-belly! Kawada picks his spots in the corner, as Heat and Strutter duke it out, as do Alf and Spanish Fly. Kawada eventually decides to cound away on Alf, as the count begins... 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!!

*DING DING DING* (All slow and dramatic like) BUFFER LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen, it is now time for the MMMMMMMMMMMAIIIIIIIIIIN EVENT! It is the annual Lethal Rumble match, 2007! *crowd cheers* BUFFER Here to explain the rules of this matchup, the one and only Fink, HOWARD FINKEL! *crowd cheers* FINKEL Good evening, Providence! *crowd cheers* FINKEL Earlier today, those participating in the Lethal Rumble match drew numbers from 1-30 at random. In just a few moments, those men who drew numbers 1 and 2 will enter the ring, and the match will begin. Every two minutes thereafter, another participant enters the match, according to the number he pulled. Remember, in the Lethal Rumble, it is every man for himself! Elimination occurs when a participant is thrown out over the top rope, and BOTH FEET must touch the floor. The one man remaining in the ring after all 30 participants have entered, will be declared the winner, and will receive an OAOAST championship match at ANGLEMANIA VI! *Fink hands the mic back to Buffer.* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen...there you have it. ARE YOU READY? *crowd cheers* BUFFER Providence, Rhode Island, ARE YOU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADY??? *crowd cheers louder* BUFFER Then for the thousands in attendance here tonight, and the millions and millions watching around the world...there's only one thing left to say. Ladies and gentlemen...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADY TO RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEE!!!!! The crowd is silent, as Buffer and Fink step out of the ring. COLE Who's #1? Here we go! COACH I can't take this excitement anymor... Magnum Opus hits, and the crowd gives a shocked reaction, then starts to boo. COACH No way! COLE Alf was very upset earlier, and now we see he had every right to be! Alfdogg, clearly upset, walks through the curtains and slowly to the ring. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here is the #1 participant in the Lethal Rumble match! Weighing 240 pounds, he is a former Heavyweight champion of the WORLD...ALFDOGG!!!!! COLE So if Alf wants to repeat as Rumble champion, he'll have to go the duration of the match, Coach! COACH This is unbelievable, Cole! Alf snatches his arm from a fan's grasp, then climbs into the ring. He steps in and walks over to his corner, then leans back in it as the music stops. Quiet by Smashing Pumpkins hits, and Dan Black gets a big pop as he makes his way out. COLE And it's another OAOAST Original, Dan Black! BUFFER Here is the #2 participant, hailing from London, England, and weighing in at 243 pounds, he is regarded as the greatest tag team wrestler in OAOAST history...one half for Black T..."THE ICE HEART" DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLACK!!!!! COLE What a way to kick off the Lethal Rumble match, Coach, with a pair of OAOAST Originals! Black climbs into the ring, and Alf pounces immediately! *DING DING DING* COLE And the Lethal Rumble match is under way! Black quickly gains the advantage and fires off right hands, backing Alf into a corner. Black stops, then whips Alf across the ring. Alf grabs the ropes, and hops backwards over Black as he charges. Alf comes at Black with a clothesline, which Black ducks, then delivers one of his own! COLE And the crowd is loving this action! Black picks up Alf, and delivers a vertical suplex! He then picks up Alf once again, for another suplex, but this time carries him to the corner! COLE Could be an early elimination attempt by Black here! Alf fires off right hands, backing Black off, then steps up to the top rope. He leaps off, as Black ducks out of the way. Alf sees this coming, however, and somersaults off the mat, ala Eddie Guerrero. He then rolls back down to his back, as Black approaches him, and kicks his feet up, catching Black right underneath the chin and knocking him to the mat! COACH And a nice prescence of mind by Alf there! Alf gets to his feet, and picks up Black, delivering a snap suplex, followed by a snap legdrop! Alf then plays to the crowd, drawing boos, before picking up Black in a slam and setting him up on the top rope! COLE And now it's Alf going for the early elimination! Alf has Black up as the crowd screams in terror, but Black blocks with his hands before going to the eyes. COACH What a cheater! COLE It's all legal here, though, no disqualifications! The only out is over the top rope! Black and Alf get to their feet, and Alf grabs Black and whips him into the ropes. Black leapfrogs Alf, then ducks a clothesline, and catches Alf with a spinning wheel kick! COLE And a great kick by Dan Black, as we come up on the two-minute mark! Black is PUMPED, as the countdown begins... 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! Dani California hits, and the crowd boos as James Riggs runs to the ring, escorted by Staci Robert (and the whistles of male fans which escort her). COLE And it's James Riggs, coming in at #3! Riggs slides into the ring, and levels Black from behind with a double axhandle blow. Riggs stomps Black as he lays on the mat, then chokes him on the ropes as Alf catches his wind in a corner. COLE And James Riggs doing a number on Dan Black following that sneak attack! Riggs stands up, and places his knee into the back of Black, pressing him against the ropes, as Alf gets to his feet, then spins Riggs around and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And a third! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! However, Riggs fights back, delivering rights, then whips Alf into the ropes and catches him with a high backdrop! Riggs then floors Alf with a dropkick, before making his way back to Black. COLE And James Riggs looking very impressive against two all-time greats, Coach! COACH Well, James Riggs is a tremendous talent, and has shown he can go with the greats of this business, as Zack Malibu can attest! Black is back to his feet by this point, however, and catches Riggs with an inverted atomic drop, followed by a back suplex! COLE But Black was able to catch his wind while Riggs was going at it with Alf! Black then makes his way back to Alf, driving a knee into Alf's jaw in the corner. He then picks Alf up and tries to dump him, but Alf hangs on and hops back through the bottom and middle ropes. COLE And Alf able to survive elimination that time! Alf gets to his feet and attacks Black from behind as he goes after Riggs once again. Alf then teams up with Riggs for a double-team Irish whip. However, Black ducks a clothesline, and floors both men with a double clothesline of his own! COLE And Black is running on adrenaline from the crowd here in Providence! Black picks up Alf, and tries once again to put him over the top. Alf struggles to stay in as the crowd cheers Black on. COLE And Alf close to being eliminated! Riggs gets to his feet and nails Black from behind, allowing Alf to slip back inside. Riggs and Alf double up on Black as the countdown begins... 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! Make Her Say by O-Town plays, and Scotty Static rushes to the ring. COLE And maybe some help on the way for Black! Scotty slides in, trading right hands off on Riggs and Alf. He knocks Riggs to the mat with a big one, but this allows Alf to jump him from behind. Alf whips Scotty to the ropes, and attempts a tilt-a-whirl, but Scotty hooks Alf around the head and takes him down with a spinning headscissors! Dropkick for Riggs! Dropkick for Alf! COLE Scotty on fire here! Black gets to his feet, and grabs Alf as Scotty gets a hold of Riggs. They set up Irish whips, both of which are reversed. However, Black and Scotty DOSIE-DO~! and deliver stereo clotheslines! COLE Lots of exciting action early on here in the Lethal Rumble match! Black hammers Alf in the corner, then charges, but Alf ducks out of the way! Alf then makes his way over to Scotty, and rakes his eyes from behind. He follows that up with a back suplex, then he and Riggs pick up Scotty and try to dump him! COACH And this could be a quick night for Scotty, Cole! COLE Scotty Static in major trouble here! Scotty goes over, but somehow manages to sneak back in through the ropes before they can force him to the floor. COLE And that was a very close call for Scotty Static! Black grabs Riggs from behind, and rakes his eyes. He goes for an Irish whip, but Riggs reverses. Black ducks a clothesline, then delivers a flying forearm! He then goes to Alf, who is choking away on Scotty in the corner. Black hammers him on the back, then he and Scotty each grab a leg, and attempt elimination on Alf! COACH And again Alf in trouble! After a brief struggle, Alf rakes both men's eyes and drops back into the ring as the countdown starts... 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! Tom Sawyer plays, and "After Hours" Felix Strutter jogs out to the ring. COLE And Felix Strutter makes his way down, and now it's Alf getting someone to watch his back! Strutter goes to work on Black, and is quickly joined by James Riggs. Alf stomps away on Scotty Static in a corner. COLE Well, we've had five men in, and no one has been eliminated as of yet! COACH We could have our first right now, Cole! Strutter and Riggs have Black in a compromising position over the top rope, but Black is able to struggle out and land on the apron. COLE But Black able to prevent elimination once again! Alf has Scotty up in the corner, as well, but Scotty is able to lift his leg up and give Alf shots to the head, causing him to let go. Strutter then goes after Scotty, as Alf again stops to take a breather. COACH And Alf trying to catch his wind here, he better pace himself if he wants to become the back-to-back winner! Alf looks on as Black and Riggs continue to tangle in a corner. Alf grabs Riggs from behind, spinning him around and delivering an overhead belly-to-belly! COLE And a great suplex by Alf delivered to James Riggs! Alf taunts the crowd, drawing boos. COACH And Alf's starting to get into his zone, Cole! Alf then works on Black, as Strutter attempts to dump Scotty over the top. Scotty gets his whereabouts, then thumbs Strutter in the eye and slides back inside. COLE Still no eliminations, and we're almost ready for #6! Riggs delivers a right hand to Scotty, and Scotty fires back. The two trade blows, until Strutter ducks down and delivers low blows to both men simultaneously! COLE Nice move by Felix Strutter, and it's totally legal! Black grabs Strutter and tosses him over the top, but Strutter barely hangs on. COLE And Strutter hanging on by the skin of his teeth! Strutter approaches Black, and does a jumping spin kick in front of him, then delivers a foot to the gut, followed by a DDT, as the countdown begins... 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!!

Tony, tone, tone. whereever you it'll be about an hour before I answer your PM, I gotta my research bangin for it. The cameras pan down from a shot of the excited Providence natives to show Michael Buffer waiting in the ring. The legendary announcer smiles to himself, as the buzz of anticipation builds around him. He raises the microphone to his lips, preparing to begin his latest introduction. BUFFER The following Anglepalooza contest is scheduled for one fall, with a time limit of forty minutes, and it is for the OAOAST World tag team championship! (Providence goes wild at the announcement) The official for tonight's contest is Charles Robinson. The affable referee smiles into the camera, enjoying his fifteen seconds of fame. But the majority of the focus sits on the darkened entry way as the working class guitars of [i]Frankenstein[/i] bang through the PA system. Crooked maroon letters that read “Sooner Bruisers” flash onto the Angletron, followed up by sights of the men by that name decimating their numerous victims. An explosion of jeers is heard from the rafters, signaling the arrival of the bestial challengers. The two men stride out from the back, cracking their necks from side to side, and bouncing up and down, as they try to loosen themselves up for the biggest match of their long wrestling careers. BUFFER Introducing first, the challengers. From Oklahoma, weighing in at a combined weight of five hundred and thirty five pounds, they are former OAOAST tag team champions, and NCAA all Americans, combined between them they have won six NCAA wrestling championships, two world championships, eight high school championships, and seven USA wrestling championships, they are The Pyscho Gremlin, Uber Bruiser, The Man of Tomorrow Uber Bruiser.....THE SOOOONER BRUISEEEEERSSS! Frank rips off his brand new Anglemania T-shirt and chucks it into the audience, before diving into the ring and ascending to the nearest turnbuckle, where he flexes his stunning muscles, and scowls at the booing New Englanders. Uber patrols the outside, growling at those young fans, who are easily intimidated by his tough guy routine. COLE The Sooner Bruisers first appeared in the OAOAST on August Eighth of 2004 as a lovable, but ultimately harmless duo, who wanted nothing more then to win the tag team championship. Since then they've degenerated into deranged, vulgar, psychopaths, but the mission has remained constant. Win those tag team titles. They have one title reign on their trophy case, now they have a chance to add a second. But they have to do it against a team that is like no other they've ever faced before. I'd the closet team to Chicks Over Dicks, they've ever wrestled is the Sk8r Boiz, and the Boiz aren't exactly known as the most consistent tag team on earth. A [color=#FF0000][b]red[/color][/b] pyro waterfall illuminates the entrance stage, and all eyes lock onto the currently vacant entranceway. The sonic drum beats of Sugarcult's [i]Los Angeles[/i] rip to life while the red waterfall is courted by a beautiful [color=#FF3399][b]pink[/color][/b] pyro fountain. Standing next to the gorgeous display of pyrotechnics are miniature Angletrons, showcasing COD's entrance video, a highlight reel filled with clips of their breathtaking moves, interspersed with fly through images of the City of Angels, and shots of the champions in various seductive poses. COACH I hate this next part! Cover your ears, Cole. Cover them shits! [b]BOOOOOM!!![/b] A violent explosion of [color=#FFFF33][b]gold[/color][/b] pyro destroys the once docile pyrotechnics showing, and causes the capacity crowd to put forth a gargantuan cheer. As the smoke clears, Krista Isadora Duncan emerges through the hazy remnants of the fireworks. She sports a stomach exposing red Obey™ tank top that reads "Make Art. Not War" and a black open sided mini skirt that reveals her entire left leg, a show of skin that's always a crowd favourite! Her baby blue eyes cut a hole through her ring based rivals, while she strikes an alluring pose for the screaming audience. BUFFER And the cham......(a huge cheer rises from the stands, drowning out the announcer)....And the champions, first, from Los Angeles, California, she is the CEO of Mrs.Spezia's sweeties, the Hollywood Bad Girl, ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! And her partner, from Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, a fitness queen, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, she is Miss California Krista Isaodra Duncan! Together they are the OAOAST world tag team champions, America's Sweethearts, Chicks Over Dicks! Amidst the resonating cries Alix Maria Spezia skips out through the entrance way in a white tie-up front tube top that's cropped all the way to the chest and white booty shorts. Although her fur wristbands, scarf, and leg warmers are fake, the excitement of the fans is very real as they watch her settles down long enough to join hands with Krista. Krista twirls Alix around, then pulls her into her arms. Alix turns over her shoulder and blows a cute kiss to the camera, leading super imposed red lips to pop on the screen. COACH Hot damn! Those chicks are as hot as a whore house on nickel night! COLE Nickel night? I'd hate to see what kind of whores you can get for a nickel. My guess is that many of them probably have a branch on the Coachman family tree! :lol: Anyway, fans, or fans with money, please don't forgot to log on to OAOAST.com or Ebay.com and bid for your chance to spend a day with Chicks Over Dicks. All proceeds go to the Tibetan Freedom Organization! Ally skips down the ramp, passing out her world famous Miss Spezia's Sweeties' brand gingerbread cookies to the appreciative crowd members. Krista is far more focused on the beasts in the ring, never once letting her hateful glare leave their bodies. She takes position at the center of the ring apron, where she offers her rivals several vulgarity filled choice words. Alix slides into the ring, making herself the “starter” for her team. Frank rushes Uber out of the ring, and with our two competitors chosen, Robinson calls for the bell. DING DING DING DONG Alix (foolishly?) accepts Frank's offer for a collar an elbow tie up. The size difference between the two warriors is comical, and Frank plays this up by feigning a mammoth struggle with The Hollywood Bad Girl. Once he grows tired of toying with her, he drops to his side and flings her over with an arm drag. The tug on her limb was strong, and she shoots him an annoyed glare while nursing her sore arm. Frank responds to her complaint by flexing his gargantuan muscles, and informing her that this what she'll be dealing with all night. Not exactly intimidated by his cautionary tale, she stands up to meet him in the center of the ring for another lockup. This time Frank wastes little time with shenanigans, and spins behind her to coil his arms around her skinny waist. He then takes the lightweight off her feet and roughly deposits her onto the mat with an elementary amateur wrestling slam. As she lies face first on the grey canvas, the big man drops to her level, then performs a grounded switch, so that he lies stomach first along her much smaller body. Then he allows her to rise to all fours, only to straddle her like they were about to play a game of horsey. For Alix a simple round of horsey would be much more preferable to the perverse act that Frank actually performs; wildly smacking his palm against her sumptuous BUTT! COACH Oh, boy, that's worth the forty dollar pay per view price tag alone! COLE Why must you think with your penis? COACH Because it's the smartest thing to come out your mouth all day. Obviously enraged by the spanking, the slippery gal quickly backs through Frank's legs and storms to a vacant corner. While the crowd boos her adversary, she fastens an expression of a sheer hatred upon him. Frank ignores their combined anger, and instead turns to Krista, telling her that anytime she wants some of that hot action all she has to do is ask. Krissy's response is to give Frank the finger, which merely draws a smile from The Man of Tomorrow. He refocuses his attention on Alix, and leans into her for another lockup. However he feints on the move, and ducks low to grab hold of Alix's bare legs. He lifts her onto his shoulders, while allowing a devious chuckle to escape his mouth. But his actions are anything but chuckle worthy, brutally slamming Alix to the mat with careless disregard for her physical health. She lands with a violent impact in her corner, and gasps of agony immediately hiss out of her bright red lips. COACH I don't even think that move has a name, it's just picking someone up and tossing them aside like they weren't nothing. Bored with tossing Alix around like a ragdoll, The Man of Tomorrow points a meaty finger at Krista and demands she enter the ring so that he can have some “real competition.” Uber seconds Frank's plea, even going so far as to deem Alix “useless” and a waste of their “good time”. Though Krista would heartily disagree with that assessment, she looks on with a mixture of confusion and anger. Part of her wishes to give Al the chance to prove them wrong, but another part of her wants these loathsome animals all to herself. However her wishes are a moot point, as Ally isn't willing to leave the match anytime soon. She confidently strolls towards the Oklahoman bully and engages him in another lockup. Again Frank spins behind her for a quick waistlock. Alix instantly and unsuccessfully tries to free herself from his clutches. The futile nature of her effort brings a smile to his face. For a moment Alix gives up on her attempt, and her body sags in weakened depression. Pleased that he's squashed her fighting spirit, Frank prepares to hit her with a german suplex. But before he can even get her an inch off the ground, Alix drives the heel of her shoe into his size 14 boot! The pain of the sneaky move causes the Bruiser to release the hold, and hop around the squared circle in misery. Both audience and foe mock his misfortune, the crowd by cheering his woe and Alix by mimicking his wild hoping. Her taunting angers Frank enough to push aside the pain and charge her with a shoulder block. But she counters the attack with a drop toe hold! However, The Man of Tomorrow rises as quickly as he fell, and proceeds to dart towards her with another shoulder block. This time Alix ends all his forward momentum by slamming her fur covered boots into his kneecaps! The strike sinks a moaning Frank to his knees, and gives Alix all the time she needs to leap onto the second rope, springboard off and lance her leg into his thick neck! COLE Alix is bringing Frank down to her size! Cole may have spoke to soon, as Frank rises to his full vertical base. However he spends his time upright in a most ridiculous fashion, hobbling to and fro like an inebriated cripple. The brunette babe takes advantage of his wounded state by latching onto his arm and thrusting him towards the corner. But Frank reverses Alix midway through the move and forces a torturous back first meeting with the ringposts upon her. The Okie charges her, employing a body splash in his effort to splatter her across the venue. But Ally avoids the move by sticking her feet into the air, and letting Frank get up close and personal with her furry footwear! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” scream the audience. While poor Frank tries to remove the gob of faux fur from his mouth, Alix uses his moment's distraction to ascend to the top turnbuckle. The sold out audience belts out a deep throated roar of anticipation, as her brown eyes narrow in on her target. The cute Californian flashes a peace sign to her adoring fans then springs off the ropes. She wraps her athletic legs around his thick neck then pulls forward, using the velocity of the move to turn Frank head over heels! The onlookers bellow with delight when they watch Frank get flung across the ring into a vacant corner. In spite of the nauseating nature of the hold, Frank quickly rises to his feet and makes another blind charge to Alix. Once again Ally Cat is ready for him and greets his arrival with a drop toe hold! Unable to mount a suitable defense for the move, Frank lands with a disgusting face first thud onto the canvas. Krista and the audience applaud Alix's exhibition of skill, but Uber nervously paces along the apron, afraid his over confident brother may not be able to handle Alix's quickness. But Ally's speed becomes the least of Frank's worries when The Hollywood Bad Girl decides to serve him a taste of his own perverted medicine. She takes seat on his muscular back, and after a sly nod to the buzzing crowd, proceeds to ram her hand into his fleshy BUTT! As her hands bounce across the horrified warrior's backside, she indulges her inner gangsta by singing [i]Disco Inferno[/i] by 50 Cent. “Little mama show me how you move it, go ahead and put ya back into it. Do ya thang like it ain't nothing to it. Sh-sh-sh-shake that ass girl!” The spectators are throughly amused at Miss Spezia's mistreatment of her challenger. Uber, on the other hand, is all like “WTF DOOD? U SUK FGT!” or some such nonsense. COACH So if I shell out fourteen grand to the Tibetan whatever organization for that auction, that's the kind of hot action I can look forward to? While many men, and more then a few women, would kill their own mother to be in Frank's position, the Man of Tomorrow isn't so thrilled to be in this predicament. In an effort to end this embarrassing charade, he uses his herculean strength to stand up and hurl Alix off his back. Ally quickly composes herself, and thankfully so, because Frank is barreling down on her with an axe handle smash! Fortunately, she dives underneath the ropes before he can lay a hand on her. He leans over the cables and spews vulgar orders for her to return to the squared circle. Alix is more then happy to [i]not[/i] oblige his request and instead further enrages Frank by leaping onto the announce table and doing the RUNNING MAN. This latest show of disrespect dunks Frank into new depths of rage, and he takes his anger out on poor Charlie Robinson's shirt collar. “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” chant the audience. Alix renters the battlefield on her volition, but refuses to cease her taunting of Big Frank. While Robinson desperately tries to bring The Man of Tomorrow under control, Ally imitates his bodybuilding-esque poses, by doing her own set of poses complete with a face that's best compared to one you might make if you have explosive diarrhea. COLE Big Frank has been totally thrown off his game. Alix applies the tag to gal-pal Krista Isaodra Duncan, denying Frank a chance for desperately sought after vengeance. Krista's arrival is greeted with a resonating ovation, and chants of “K-I-D!” spring forth from every corner of the venue. Back in the center of the ring, Robinson is having a devil of a time calming down The Man of Tomorrow. It would seem the burly strong man isn't able to put Alix's boorish abusage of him aside, and once again demands that she return to face him. Unfortunately for him, his wish will not be Krista's demand, and Miss California swings behind him to grab a waistlock. She then drops to her knees, and hauls The Man of Tomorrow to the canvas with double leg take down. However Frank is able to use his superior amateur technique to thwart her takedown and roll behind her to grab a seated hammerlock. The moment the move is applied, the fitness queen feels a sharp pressure build within her limbs. This burning pain immediately forces her to make moves to escape the hold. She rises to her feet, thinking that she'll be able use her free arm to elbow her way out of the hold. Yet this plan is snuffed out the second Frank transitions to a side headlock. He tightly wrenches the hold, torquing her neck and making every effort to rip her head clear off her body. The bitter agony of Frank's death grip becomes too much for Krista to bear, and she begins to dig her nails into his eyes in a sick attempt to free herself from his clutches. Frank wiggles his body back and forth, trying his hardest to avoid her berserk efforts to claw his eyes out. However his quick body movements take him into the ropes, where Krista hooks her ankle around the bottom cable. Using the rope as a stabilizing base, she puts her hand onto his expansile midsection and heaves him towards the opposite end of the ring. She pursues his path, ready to overtake him with a leg lariat. But before she can get off the ground, a rebounding Frank pushes her to the mat with a shoulder block. She rolls onto her six packed stomach, praying that Frank will hop over her and continue his running of the ropes. He takes her bait and leaps over her body on his trip to cables, and comes back with the lethal Soonerline. But the blond bombshell is adequately prepared for the move, and grabs onto his attacking him to flip him over with an arm drag! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” sing the fans. Face aflame with anger, Frank rises, looking to decimate the recipient of the audience's love. But no such action will come to pass, because Krista overtakes him with another crowd popping arm drag! Again Frank stands just as quickly as he fell. But he's given no opportunity to mount an attack as Krissy knocks him over with a fabulous flipping dropkick! Krista plays to her legions of adoring fans, and to her own by beauty, by fluffing her gorgeous blond tresses. The simple motion sends the crowd into a state of absolute rapture, but leaves Frank in a phase of utter anger. With his blood pressure rising to lethal levels, Frank determines that he can no longer preserve his sanity and combat COD at the same time. Thus he applies the tag to his younger sibling, Uber Bruiser. The Pyscho Gremlin arrives into the squared circle amidst a chorus of jeers and taunts. But he pays them no mind, instead focusing his attention exclusively upon Krista. He orders her to engage in a lock up, and she happily grants the request, locking horns with Uber in the center of the ring. Uber uses his brute strength to raise Krista's left arm above her head, allowing him to slip behind her and hook in a waistlock. Problematically, he's never given a chance to do much more then that, as Krista grabs onto his right arm, then dives to the mat, pulling Uber down with her. The Pyscho Gremlin moves quickly, scissoring his tree trunk sized legs around her neck, briefly regaining control of the bout. But his grip on Miss California isn't nearly as tight as he would've hoped, and she succeeds in kipping up to freedom. She patiently waits for her frustrated foe to rise, then attempts to a deliver a knee into his midsection. However he counters the strike, by stepping to his side and snaring her into a side headlock. Again his grip is dangerously weak, and the Los Angeles native has little difficulty in breaking it by turning the hold into a standing key lock. The now desperate Bruiser calls upon his most basic of amateur training to turn the tables on his pesky rival. He drops backwards pulling over with a modified arm drag. Working with great speed he tries to hold Krista down with a top wristlock. But that holds last for nary a second, before Krista spins to her knees and reverses it into an armlock. COACH I gotta say Krista's holding her own when it comes to mat wrestling with Uber. Looks to me like he underestimated her, but I don't see this pattern repeating itself throughout the match. Krista's hold wasn't designed to do much besides put in an end to the flurry of amateur based counter the two were engaging in. But that simple fact doesn't stop the fitness queen from gleefully ripping and wrenching Uber's limb, causing irritated grunts to leave the lips of the former tag team champion. Twenty painful seconds into the move, Uber begins to feel as if the woman is planning on separating his shoulder from it's socket. This obviously being something he doesn't want to have happen, Bruiser utilizes his leg strength to push himself to his feet. Krista has no choice but to follow him up, lest she'd run the risk of losing control over her foe. Uber takes his free hand and presses it against her attacking arm, hoping that it will prevent her from applying additional pressure. In actuality, the technique manages to loosen her grip just enough to allow him to maneuver her towards a neutral corner. She's unable to stop Bruiser's counter and thus finds her tan figure wedged against turnbuckles. The dutiful official steps in and requires her to release Uber, a request she quickly grants. Yet this leaves her open to a cheap shot in the form of a knee to the stomach from her retribution seeking rival. “BOOOO!” goes the crowd, prompting Uber to howl towards them in response. Her ribs burning almost as hot as the hatred she holds for her rivals, Krista begins to slowly crumple to the mat. But Uber shoots her upwards with a flesh searing knife edge chop. As she whimpers in misery, he snakes his fingers through her vibrant hair and drags her towards the middle of the ring. His tattooed arms coil around her neck, trapping her within another side headlock. Desperate to rid herself off the man's treacherous tentacles, Krista hooks onto his spandex tights, hoping against hope that she'll be able lift him into a backsuplex. However her ludicrous desire goes unanswered, and Uber drags her to his domain with a headlock takedown. With the headlock still applied, he drives his left shoulder into her deltoids, pushing her shoulders into the mat for a pinning predicament. Robinson makes the count. ONE TWO Krista gets her shoulders off the mat well before the three count. COLE I may not like the guy but I'll give credit to Uber for getting Krista into a pinning situation while still doing damage to her neck. Stricken with a burning desire to escape Uber's dungeon, Krissy delves into her bag of tricks in order to mount an escape attempt. She slashes her nails across his face liked a crazed feline, making a grand effort to slice out her foe's frosty eyes. When that approach meets with failure, Miss California turns towards slamming her fist into his ear, praying that the sudden jolt and devilish headache will win her freedom. Unfortunately The Pyscho Gremlin proves to be impervious to these underhanded tactics, and the hold remains stable. Eventually he hauls Krista upright, where he begins to drag her towards his corner. But the sudden movement causes his grip to adjust ever so slightly. This minuscule change in pressure is all KID needs to shove him into the ring ropes. However her offensive salvo has a depressingly short shelf life, and the Okie is able to steamroll her with a shoulder tackle. Acting on instinct alone, she rolls onto her stomach, where Uber hops over her and journeys to the ropes. He returns to her her, thinking he'll be able to squash her with a body splash. Imagine his surprise when his pug ugly face is introduced to the underside of her Adidas snow boots by a kip up dropkick! The Bruiser plummets to the canvas, as the audience comes alive with cheers for their heroine. COLE Krista just taking Uber off his feet with a dropkick. And those aren't exactly the cheapest shoes you can use in a wrestling match. While Cole educates the viewers on the intricacies of women's snow boots, Krista grabs Uber by his mullet and pulls the groggy brawler to his feet. She entraps him into a half nelson, then shoots her body forward. The momentum of the move causes Uber to follow her downwards, and his face endures a viscous meeting with solid as steel canvas. Krista offers him no time to lick his wounds, as she hooks his leg for the pinfall. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO The Psycho Gremlin shoots his shoulder off the mat, drawing several boos from the audience. He rises under his own accord, only to be instantly pounced on by the champion. She underhooks his right arm, then drops her knees to the canvas causing his square jaw to be violently driven into her shoulder. Blood forming at the tip of his mouth, he wobbles from side to side, left dizzied by her attack. Krista capitalizes on his brief disorientation by clamping onto his tights and pulling him down for a small package. ONE An effortless kickout by Uber follows the one count. Despite the ease of the pin escape, he's unable to regain control of the contest, and his enemy punishes him with grounded knee strikes to the chest. After she finishes devouring his pectorals with her kneecaps she drags the amateur wrestler to his feet. From there she entangles him within an inverted headlock. He shoots knees towards her pretty face in an attempt to escape the hold, but his stubby legs fail to reach the champion. As such she's easily able to spin to his side, slice her arm through his neck, and push him down to the canvas with a variated DDT! While Uber lays a battered wreck on the floor, the onlookers loudly ovate Krista's flashy move. Once again she attempts a lateral press... CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Uber pushes himself out of the pinning situation! COACH It's gonna take a little more then an inverted snap ddt to pin a collegiate all American. A look of frustration over the pinfall escapes takes shape on Krista's face as she watches her vexing foe writhe along the canvas. The snarling diva directs her anger onto Uber, throwing stomps towards the neck her DDY just violated. Eventually Uber is able to rise to his feet past the wave of hate filled kicks. Yet this proves to be a terrible course of action, as one spinning back kick from Krista forces him into a neutral corner. She stalks his position, but by the time she reaches The Pyscho Gremlin, he's recovered enough of his strength to paste her with a knife edge chop. The fearsome blow rocks Krista to her very core, but she summons enough gusto to return fire with her own chop. Unphased by a back hand slap from a 150 pound woman, Bruiser blasts her with a duo of overhand chops that tear away at the fabric of her shirt, and push her back towards the center of the ring. He then exits the corner, and takes firm hold of her hair. He violently jerks her head downward, while at the same time driving his other arm upward, catching her chin with a rising elbow. The pain doesn't even get the time to settle in Krista's body, before The Pyscho Gremlin is attempting to whip her to ropes. It's an attempt that fails, however, and KID painstakingly reverses the hold. Uber hits the ropes, returning to bulldoze Krista with an elbow strike. But the blond bombshell counters this tactic, by hitting the mat and grounding him with a drop toe hold. The Okie was able to get his hands up to protect his face from the harsh mats, but [i]that[/i] defense does nothing to protect him from getting Oklahoma Rolled by Krista! CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Despite the nausea Krista's series of moves induced, Uber is able to move his shoulder off the mat. COLE What irony that would've been, a Sooner Bruiser getting beat by a move called the Oklahoma Roll. The latest kickout only managed to escalate Krista's already towering level of frustration. Once more Uber becomes the target for her ire, getting hauled to his feet, and led to a vacant corner. Growling with primal rage, Krista plunges his bearded face into the turnbuckle, delighting when she hears a distinct groan of agony bubble in his throat. Her barbaric pleasure is momentarily ended when Uber shoots an elbow into her well developed stomach. But thanks to the “abs of steel” nature of her midsection Krista is able to shrug aside the pain, and launch Uber towards his corner. But he reverses the move and sends Krista running towards the turnbuckles. This innocent reversal turns deadly the second Big Frank's knee is driven into Krista's back! She instantly sinks to her own knees, howling in marked pain that just adds to the audiences hatred for the Bruiser brothers. Ally and the crowd urge Robinson to lay down the law. But Charlie, who's scared shitless of Frank, isn't overly willing to incur any more of The Man of Tomorrow's wrath. COACH Out of the ring these cats may be way out of control, but within it they are a cohesive well oiled wrestling machine. COLE Of course they are Coach, they've beaten Black T, The Heavenly Rockers, South Central Militia, and like I said they haven't actually lost a match in a year. I hate to say it, but you can argue that they are the best active tag team in the OAOAST. Uber hurls a dazed Krista into the black ring cables. Thankful her cloud of grogginess disappears just in time to avoid his standing lariat! Her feet move her towards Frank, who's eagerly awaiting a chance to impale her with a shoulder block. But his dream remains just that, as Krista blasts him off the apron with a running knee strike! Teeth, sweat, babyoil, and blood filled spit join Frank in a tumultuous crash to the ringside mat, as the audience shake the rafters with a mighty roar “K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!” Spurred on by a rush of adrenaline, Krista directs a running elbow smash towards Uber. But he avoids the strike by lowering his body and locking her down with a waistlock. His body movements say German Suplex but his adversary says otherwise, shooting a round of elbows into his noggin. The unanswered series of blows cause his grip to weaken, and allow KID to execute a standing switch. Unlike he, she has no disillusions of hitting a German Suplex, and instead goes for a simple but effective school boy. C-Rob counts the pin... CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Uber makes another last minute escape, by reaching up and shoving her into his vacant corner. But the area doesn't stay vacated for long, as Frank, like a monster rising from a swampy morass, returns to the apron to latch onto Krista's head and drive her throat first into the cables. She recoils off the ropes, pawing at her wounded neck, making a useless effort to stop her last bit of breath from abandoning her. Krista's troubles only increase when Uber nearly decapitates her with the lethal [b]Soonerline[/b]. She folds to the mat in a whimpering heap, unable to discern what's worse, the suffocating pain in her neck, or the feeling that her chest just got torn through with a buzz saw. The Pyscho Gremlin adds another choice to her option of maladies, by dropping his elbow squarely onto the top of her forehead. COLE Just like you said, Coach, these men operate like machines. They've been involved in wrestling competitions since they were five years old, they know the ring, the mat, inside and out, and that's what makes them nearly unbeatable. Uber takes Kris by the arm and pulls her upright. Still holding her limb, he drags her towards him, then leans forward to punish her with a lariat, the forward motion of the devastating hold making it even more horrific to endure. She sags to the canvas, clutching her badly injured chest, and desperately seeking some sort of aid. But jailed within the Bruisers' dungeon, the most she, or any one else, can do is watch helplessly as Uber applies the tag to his older sibling. A front row fan, sitting with his ten year old daughter, offers Krista a suggestion on how to battle The Man Of Tomorrow “Hey, Krista, if you wanna scare Frank, tell him you're gonna make him take a piss test!” “ONLY IF I CAN USE YOUR DAUGHTER'S MOUTH AS MY CUP!” Frank retorts, causing the enraged spectator to attempt to hop the guardrail and fight Big Frank. COLE Uncalled for! While security tries to subdue the livid fan, Frank rifles stomps into Krista's chest. She's so wounded by Uber's prolonged assault that she can't even think to protect herself against the barrage. After the tenth kick, Frank abruptly calls his stomping to a close. Krista has little reason to be thankful for this action due to the fact that Frank then presses his maroon boots onto the bottom rope, driving the coarse cable into her sore neck. The ropes strangle Krissy, and muffle her screams into weakened sighs of desperation. These cries are barely heard over Frank's own bloodthirsty shouts of triumph. Meanwhile, Charles Robinson gives Frank to the count of five to release his tortured prisoner. “ONE! TWO! Come on, Mister Bruiser! THREE! FOUR! FI...” Big Frank ceases his death choke of Krista before Robinson is presented the opportunity to disqualify him. The official weakly warns him about his suspect tactics, but one “Shut the fuck up” later turns the spineless zebra into a mute. Frank moves his attention back to his rival, and stands her up, readying a punch that's certain to be a knock out blow. However evades the potential death strike by wildly slamming her shoulder into his gut. Frank doubles over in a mixture of minor discomfort and sudden shock, allowing Miss California to pepper him with kicks. When she feels that he's been properly weakened by her strikes, she makes an effort to toss him into the ropes. He's not quite as weakened as she believed, though, and she's exposed to this annoying fact when he reverses the hold. Her feet carry her to the ropes, then sprint her back into waiting knee to the gut from her advesary. COACH Let me tell you another reason why the Sooner Bruisers are going to win this match. Because they were conceived, born, raised, and will do in the gym. These guys were bred to do nothing but be athletes. This is their entire life, they have no other reason to exist otherwise. COLE I'm sure they thank you for that lovely backhanded compliment. With Krista a quivering mess of flesh and bones, her attacker stands upon her legs and awkwardly bends them backwards. He then sits back, raising her into the air and taking firm hold of her unmoving arms. She's lift staring into the bright arena lights, her limbs being painfully contorted by this blue collar psychopath. COACH That hold is commonly referred to as the bow and arrow lock. Alix is left aghast by Krista's predicament and immediately does everything within in her power to rally her partner to battle against the treacherous villain. She frantically beats her hands against the top rope, and pleads with the crowd to get behind her cause. The Rhode Islanders quickly and boisterously throw themselves into the task of motivating Krista towards freedom. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” COLE The fans are getting behind Krista like always, but it's more of a matter of Krista getting out of this bow and arrow lock. Krista doesn't have to map out an escape route, because Frank shockingly lets her go free. This is no merciful respite, however, and The Man of Tomorrow moves her into an equally deadly rear chinlock with a body scissors. He makes certain to position Krista so that she faces her worried partner, then cruelly informs the both of them that once she chokes Krista out, he and his brother will have their way with Alix. COLE Frank's playing mind games right now, but not only is he doing that she's sucking the wind and the breath right out of Krista. Drawing strength from Alix's and the crowd's support, as well as motivation from Big Frank's vulgar taunts, Krista shifts her body to the left and manages to head upright. But Frank tracks her movement with expert precision and clamps down on her with a front facelock. As Alix shouts out even more cheers of encouragement, Kris takes up the monumental task of raging against his hold, tugging at his iron like arms to wade off the mounting tension. But she can't peel them away long enough to break free or even breathe comfortably for that matter. He then makes her all her rebellious efforts for naught, using a DDT to blast her to mat with carefully calculated force. Krista lets out a resonant cry that seems capable of leveling the ring with it's volume. COLE Not a whole lot of flashy offense from The Bruisers that many of our fans like to see. But the attacks that these guys use have one very important property: they hurt like heck! COACH I'm glad to see that you're finally showing these cats some mad respect. COLE I never said anything about not respecting their athletic technique. It's their behavior outside the ring that leaves much to be desired. Fairly pleased with the damage he's caused, Frank tags his brother into the fray. Uber hits the ring and instantly tries to take advantage of his bro's hardwork by attempting a pin. ONE TWO The SoCal Beauty defiantly kicks out, leaving annoyed Uber to direct a menacing stare Robinson's way. While the ref shyly holds up two fingers, Krista expends a great deal of energy by standing up on her own power. Bruiser instantly pounces on her, sucking her into the oft-used front facelock. Feeling the pooling warmth of pain around her neck, Krissy wildly fights back, and somehow succeeds slipping her head out of his arm and scoring an Irish Whip But the amateur wrestling legend saw the move coming and reverses the attack, bouncing her off the ropes. As she returns to the center of the ring Uber throws up his leg for a big boot, but she evades the move by rolling underneath it and continuing her run of the ropes. After she returns from the opposite cables, Bruiser hits his deadly mark with a knee to her six packed stomach. Krista is reduced into a wheezing, coughing, mess and is totally incapable of preventing The Pyscho Gremlin from shoving her into the ropes and hitting her with another kneestrike. Wailing in defiance, she stays on her feet, refusing to accept defeat at the hands of her relentless opponents. But Krista's defiance just gives Uber further license to pulverize her, and he belts her with three more knee strikes. “LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!” bleat the crowd, led on by Jade and Alix. COACH These dudes is cutting the ring off and stomping the life out of Krista. I can think of better ways to double team a woman who looks like that, but I ain't gonna be the one to tell 'em how to do their jobs! Uber buries the under sole of his boot deep into Krista's back, causing the fitness queen to spasm in pain. Three more brutal stomps follow, each being accompanied by the same disheartening convulsions. Upon completing the stomping, he drags her to her feet, where he fastens her into a waistlock. The Pyscho Gremlin raises her into the air, then dives backwards, executing a mammoth suplex! While the fans react with cringes and cries, the extraordinary force of the move carries Krista upright and directs her staggering body towards The Bruisers corner. Always looking for an excuse to inflict as much pain as possible on Krista, Big Frank leans over the ropes and rudely slugs her in the back of the head with a forearm, knocking her to the mat. COLE Robinson, you've got to do something about that! It's your job! “Owwwwww owwww owww!” Uber howls, standing proudly over the body of his soon to be vanquished enemy. In a most unusual display of aerial showmanship that Frank is imploring him not to take, Uber ascends to the third rope. The crowd murmurs in anxious anticipation, unsure of the last time they have saw a Bruiser offer a move from the third rope. However they won't witness that rare sight tonight, thanks to Krista gathering enough of her strength to crotch the man on the ringpost! Shaken and miserable, The Pyscho Gremlin teeters back and forth on the ropes, clenching his little warriors and making sure her cruel move hasn't shattered his prized possessions. Perhaps sniffing blood in the air, and sensing a chance to avenge the past ten minutes of utter hell, Krista scorches towards Uber like a blond bat out of hell and joins him atop the turnbuckle. She leaps into the sky, and ties her toned legs around his neck. Their glorious strength then rips him off the turnbuckle with an audience pleasing hurricanrana! Both competitors gracefully travel through the air, before encountering a far less graceful collision into the canvas. COLE What height on that hurricanrana! I don't think the Bruisers have ever dealt with a team that uses nothing but cruiser weight moves, and whenever Alix and Krista use a speed based attack, The Bruisers are left dumbfounded. COACH They've been stomping on Krista for the past thirteen minutes and you wanna give the most prized title in all of tag team wrestling to COD because of one little hurricanrana? You a gender traitor and a fool ass mark. His immense desire to torture Krista taking a momentary backseat to a primal urge to survive, Uber rolls away, creating some much needed distance between he and the suddenly resurgent champion. Krista seems to be swimming against an agonizing current, the duress she's under making her crawl to her corner an extremely arduous one. Alix, sensing that she's COD best chance to capture the gold, furiously beats on the turnbuckle, trying to mobolize her fallen partner. Soon the entire crowd joins in, stamping their feet in unison, sending encouraging noises to Krista's frayed spirit. Drawing on their heartwarming show of support, Kris, face steeled with gritty determination, digs her nails into the canvas and claws her way to the corner. Suddenly The Pyscho Gremlin stirs, giving rise to concerned gasps from the crowd. Unwilling to afford Krista the chance to make a much needed tag, he locks his hand around her ankle, trying his hardest to freeze her in place. Despite his tight lockdown, Alix's unwavering encouragement sparks Krista to fight past the cutthroat bully. With one titanic lunge, she surges forward make a hot tag to her perky partner! [b]“YEAAAAA!”[/b] The fans are brought to a state of euphoria as The Hollywood Bad Girl renters the bout! She temporarily ignores Uber, and makes a bee line for Big Frank, dropkicking the HGH enhanced monster off the apron! Seeking to defend his brother's honor, as well as curtail COD's new found momentum, Uber rampages towards Alix. But the agile warrior defends against his strike by jumping onto the third rope and flying back at him with a splendid lionsault press! He tries to step out of the way, but frustratingly moves himself into the line of fire for an inverted face lock that Alix easily morphs into an Inverted DDT! “Owwwww, owwww, owww!” Alix howls, mimicking The Pyscho Gremlin to the Rhode Islanders' unrestrained joy. Disgusted with Alix's mocking, Uber stands up with the intent on making her pay for her comedic routine with a clubbing forearm. But Ally snuffs out his attacking flame by grabbing onto his descending limb, lacing her leg between his and driving him into the canvas with the [b]True Life:I just got beat up by a girl[/b] (STO)! Now sooner then Uber smacks against the mat does his big brother interject himself into the fracas, bearing down on Ally with a shoulder tackle. But the ferocious tiger is turned into a docile pussycat by Alix who nearly knocks his head off with a standing enziguri. Dazed and mortally wounded by the thunderous kick, Frank rolls his carcass out the ring, leaving his sibling to fend for himself. COLE The quickness of COD continues to confound the Bruisers! With Uber momentarily incapacitated, Alix stands at The Pyscho Gremlin's side and puts her big ol' booty on duty, bouncing her voluptuous backside up and down to the delight of the audience. Those home based viewers who are to proud to jerk off to Girls Gone Wild commercials like the rest of us begin to shake hands with their one eyed milk man at the glorious sight of Alix's thrusting and pumping tush. But she leaves them with a serious a case of blue balls when she cuts short her display and hurls herself at Uber with a standing moonsault. Yet, Uber rolls out of the way the exact second she begins her ascent! He stands up, expecting to see the pleasing image of her remains splattered across the canvas. Picture his shock and horror when her boots impact solidly against his face with a dropsault! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” bleat the audience. Similar to his relative, a woozy Uber begins to beat a hasty retreat to the outside. Alix isn't as willing to let him escape as she was his brother, and he only gets as far as the ring apron before her hands snag his mullet and drag him upright. She lays him back first across the second rope, and pelts his chest with overhand chops to further subdue him. Once she's assured that he lacks the strength to escape his awful position, she makes her way up the turnbuckles. The now standing crowd screams with eagerness for what's sure to be a breath taking move. ALIX :headbang: Miss Spezia certainly doesn't disappoint her legion of adoring fans, launching herself off the top rope with a leg drop. Still stuck on the ropes, Uber finally revives himself from his groggy state. Unfortunately his freshly unblurred vision is engulfed by the entirety of Alix's tan leg descending upon his face. Her limb cuts right through his muscular neck, and the force of her amazing strike flings him off the ropes and into the ring. While he gasps for the air that's all but abandoned him, she covers his body with a lateral press. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO CROWD THRE--- Big Frank ends the pinfall by driving an axe handle smash into her back! “BOOOOOO!” Franks reappearance in the contest is short lived, however,as the moment he stands up to deliver a beating to Alix, Krista delivers [i]him[/i] to the outside mats by knocking him over the ropes with a high flipping lariat! COLE Frank did his part by keeping him team alive, but it looks like it's back down to Alix and Uber. Upon assuming a standing position, Uber lobs another lariat towards Ally's face. But the speedy lady slips bellow his outstretched arm, and pops up behind him. With fist clenched for a discus punch, he whirls around, thinking he can floor her with one mighty strike. No such action occurs, though, as Alix lights his chest up with a trilogy of knife edge chops. Each strike does a beautiful job of ripping away at the man's pale skin, but his mounting anger allows him to brush the damage aside and land a harsh knee into her stomach. Another knee follows, and Uber assumes very tenuous control on this match. He let's her go free, and she crawls to a neutral corner, nursing her stomach, moaning pain, and wondering how's she going to regain the advantage over this terrible monster. Uber's answer is that she can't, and he lays a thick forearm into her back to hammer that point home. The pain from that single strike is so immense that Alix has to turn to face him, just to protect her now seriously wounded back. Problematically this leaves her open to what ever strike Bruiser's vile mind can concoct. Rather then try anything fancy, he simply whips her towards the ropes. This proves to be an amazingly boneheaded blunder, as upon her return Alix slides into him for a wheel barrel set up. She then elevates her body towards his head, and snares her arm around his neck for a flashy bulldog. But her high risk move never materializes in reality, thanks to The Pyscho Gremlin grabbing hold of her slender waist and slamming her face first into the canvas. Alix's hands immediately go up to attend to the burning pain in her face, but their soft touch is quickly replaced by the rough feel of Uber's skin as he locks her into a crippler crossface! The agony brought on by the hold builds at an alarming rate, and Alix begins weeping with sincerity, unsure of how much of this torturous hold she'll be able to withstand. Stuck in the center of the ring, the ropes appear so distant they might as well be in on an other continent. Thus she sadly raises her hand to submit to the lethal submission hold and award her tag team title to the brothers grim. But Krista drives her point of her boot into Uber's skull, causing him to involuntarily break the hold! Incensed over Krissy denying his team their second tag team titles, Frank reaches into the ring and drags her to the outside where he plans on mangling her face with an assist from the steel guardrail. But the only one who gets their face mangled in this exchange is Frank, as Krista obliterates his stout nose with an audience popping superkick! Frank hits the mat like a sack of bricks, blood streaming out of his nostrils, tracing along the jagged contours of his puffy cheeks. Being the sweet soul that she is, Krista pulls her compact mirror out of her pocket and holds it up to Frank's face so he can see just how “great” his remodeled nose looks. “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” Meanwhile, Uber has Miss Spezia prepped for a basic body slam. But the elementary hold turns into a complex mess for the Okie when Alix's baby oil soaked body slips out of his clutches and lands behind him. Before Uber is even made aware of the fact that she's no longer within his grasp, her shoes are dropkicking him towards the ropes. Never the most graceful OAOAST superstar, Uber manages to trip over his own two feet, and deposit his chunky frame onto the second rope. His klutzy loss is actually Alix's gain, because she believes that he's in the perfect position to be [i]eradicated[/i] by one of her famous high risk attacks. Alix charges towards her vulnerable foe and leaps through the second rope, while latching onto the third and second cable to maintain her precious balance. She uses her generated momentum to swing back towards Uber, seeking to strike him with the 619, or 310 in her case. Perhaps a better name in this particular instance would be “failed attempt” because Uber somehow succeeds in catching her twirling body within his arms. While the crowd jeers his otherwise impressive counter, he backs away from the ropes, scanning his brain for a devastating move to unleash on helpless Alix. No one will ever know what his pea sized mind came up with, because Krista dismounts her perch on the top rope and drives a missile dropkick into his forehead! The move “blesses” him with an excruciatingly miserable headache, and more importantly pushes he and Alix into a lateral press. Robinson makes the count! CROWD ONE CROWD TWO But Uber kicks out well before the three count is made. Shifting his focus away from the downed competitor, Robinson beseeches Kris to depart the ring so that some semblance of order can be granted to this contest. Needless to say Krista would prefer to continue the repeated double teaming of her hapless rival, and an argument ensues. COACH How the hell did Uber kick out after getting kicked right in the dome? It looked like her boot went straight through his cerebellum. But ole boy stay steady kicking out. While Krista fights a losing verbal battle with Robinson, her partner in state endorsed civil union has taken position on the top turnbuckle. An excited buzz comes from the many fans who expect Alix to enchant them with one of her many dazzling displays of aerial technique. But rather then use a shooting star press, or a 450 splash or even a friggin' fist drop, Alix chooses to remain on her pulpit and offer a [b]eulogy[/b] to Julius Cesar. “Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears! I come to bury Julius Cesar, not to praise him!” she bellows, confusing the hell out of the crowd, many of whom read on the same level as that of a dead skunk. Her audition for the role of Mark Anthony is cut short by the troubling sight of Big Frank Bruiser, blood stained face and all, darting across the ring. Alix readies herself to meet his charge with a ruinous aerial counterattack. But he moves with preternatural speed and by the time she properly balances herself, he's joining her at the height of the ring post. She stages a defense of her position, but Frank's brute strength renders her efforts pointless, and he propels her through the sky with a Kurt Angle-esque belly to belly suplex! Alix plummets into the canvas, scarcely able to do more then sob in misery and pray that the powerful move didn't manage to fracture any of her bones. To make matters worse for COD, by the time Charles is finally able to convince Krista to leave the ring, Frank runs towards her position and shoves her off the apron. She slams into the guardrail, where concerned fans instantly begin patting her on the back and make sweet efforts to nurse her back to health. Her pride seems more hurt then any part of her body, and she dedicates her time on the outside not to thanking her admires for their support, but to yelling “ I told you so, asshole!” at an apologetic Robinson COACH That's why you don't go fuckin' wit Midwest thugs! Soft ass Cali bitches get merked trying that shit! Robinson is required to pull his attention away from the beautiful, but enraged blond on the outside, in order to count Uber's pinfall. ONE TWO THRE...but Alix kicks out, and her escape causes Rhode Island to shout in happiness. Uber isn't able to comprehend how Alix evaded certain defeat, and his appalled eyes turn on Robinson, who he vehemently accuses of being involved in a mass conspiracy to deny him his rightful gold. In fact Uber's confusion over the failed pinfall is so intense that it permits him to do nothing more then shake his head and weakly mouth the words “Impossible”over and over again COACH Uber's straight buggin out! Get it together, duke. Still in disbelief, Uber drags his depressed remains to his corner where a tag brings Big Frank back into the contest. Quite unlike his little sibling, Big Frank wastes little time in feeling sorry for himself, and makes moves to finish the task that Uber failed to complete. Taking Alix by her chocolate colored hair, The Man of Tomorrow drags her to her feet. She mounts and admirable rebellion against his clutches, but he easily snuffs out her fire with a clubbing forearm to back. With the energetic fighter temporally subdued , Frank foists her high into the sky in a press slam position. He twirls around, showcasing his prey to the furious audience, increasing their rage with each one of his contemptuous smirks. Finally he lets her go free, unceremoniously dumping her from his grasp. The drop from the peak of the move to the ring floor is a significant one, and leaves her short of breath and in a great deal of agony. For his part, Big Frank turns to the referee and sadistically informs him that he'll be a first hand witness to the first ever in ring death in OAOAST history. Crass exaggeration aside, Frank continues making her life a living hell by pumping stomps into her sobbing face. Concerned for Alix's safety, Robinson pleads with Big Frank to show even a miniscule sign of spotsmanship. But BFB has no capacity for mercy and proceeds to further torture Alix with these stomps. Finally he completes his assault, and lies across her heaving chest for a pinfall. ONE TWO Alix kicks out, infuriating Big Frank, but popping the audience who thought that this contest was all but over. He decides to make her regret the day she ever escaped his pin attempt, and ensnares her into a sleeper hold. COLE Right now Alix is down on the mat with a multi time NCAA wrestling champion, and a former amateur wrestling world champion. That is not a place you really want to be. Alix has got to get to Krista, and far away from Big Frank! The affects of the sleeper are immediate; a painful constricting of her breathing. This is more then a mere rest hold for Alix. Rather it is an onerous battle to remain conscious. Big Frank does her effort to stay awake no favors, violently cranking on her neck, torquing it as roughly as his strength will allow, putting a look of evident discomfort on her normally cute face. The supportive crowd promptly takes up the task of cheering on the babyface, singing her name in unison. “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” they shout, while the camera focuses on an apron based Krista yelling words of encouragement. Gaining strength from their kindness, Miss Spezia bucks and roars against the strongman's epic restraints. BFB's response is to simply tighten his grasp, and let her drift into a comfortable slumber. But this doesn't manage to stop our adorable heroine from continuing to war against his move. Eventually her frantic movement is able to weaken his clutches just enough that she's able to bring herself to her feet. Bruiser follows her upright, wrought with panic that his move is dangerously close to evaporating. His worry turns out to be well founded, as Miss Spezia launches a calvary of elbows into his ribcage that shred at his clutches. The eighth strike shatters the hold altogether, but Alix is far from free from psychotic strongman, and he drives this point home by hooking her into a front facelock. Rather then bother to try and bleed a submission attempt out of her, Frank decides that he'll simply break her neck with an Implant DDT. Thus he lifts her into the air, ready to scramble her brains with one deadly move. But Alix turns the tables on him, taking a precarious hold of his neck, then shooting her body backwards and driving him into the mat with a modified DDT! “YEAAAAA!” But the crowd's era of good feelings is morbidly short lived, as they watch Frank immediately rise to his feet like a demon emerging from the simmering flames of hell. His arms quickly coil around her waist, snapping her slender frame into pieces as if they were twin boa constrictors. Once the air is totally dragged out of her lungs his anacondas fling her overhead, imprinting her into the canvas with a belly to belly suplex. He heralds his triumph by kissing his 25” bicep as he confidently strolls towards her battered body. Upon reaching her, BFB dives sideways and drives the tip of his elbow into her face with pinpoint accuracy. A pinfall attempt follows shortly thereafter. ONE TWO Somehow Alix summons enough fighting spirit to lift her shoulder into the air, driving the Rhode Island natives wild with surprised glee. Heard loud and clear over the burning heat of the crowd is Big Frank Bruiser proclaiming that Robinson is a “Fucking pencil dick faggot who's too god damn stupid to count to three!” COACH You'd think after Robinson's enormous screwup at Mainframe Monday that he'd be trying to get himself back in the good graces of the Bruisers. I can't believe they even let this moron officiate anymore tag title matches. Tired of dealing with an opponent who's obviously not weakened enough to be pinned, Frank allows Uber the chance to deliver more abuse to their nearly crippled enemy. COLE You have to ask yourself how much more of this punishment Alix can take? She's much tougher then she looks but she's in the ring with two of the nastiest men in all of pro wrestling, and can't last much longer. Alix winces in stringent pain, as the redneck her bulldozes into a neutral corner with lightning quick kicks to the stomach. Ally Cat is pressed against the turnbuckles, where she desperately tries to regain her rapidly depleting breath. But Uber keeps his attack steady like a metronome, and launches her towards the opposite corner with an irish whip. Alix smacks against the pads, then staggers towards the center of the ring, the salty combination of sweat and tears in her brown eyes making it impossible to see more then a few inches in front of her face. So it comes as a tremendous surprise when The Pyscho Gremlin upends her with a back body drop. The physical shock of the move is even worse then the mental version, and she rests on the mat spasming in pain. Uber is able to still her body long enough to attempt another pin. ONE TWO But Ally kicks out, upsetting the few audience members who don't wish to watch her take any more of the brutal beatings. Uber, on the other hand, is thrilled to inflict more damage upon her body, and acts on these desires by scrapping her off the mat, then driving her back down with a bodyslam. Another cover follows the basic hold. ONE TWO Alix delays defeat just a little bit longer by kicking out. Unfortunately there is no rest for her weary bones, and Uber grabs hold of her bright white tube top and hauls her to her feet. He lathers her with an ensemble of forearms, each beating her ample chest like a drum, causing Alix to sing sorrowful blues. Uber then whips the champion to the corner, and trails her path with a clothesline. Right as the immense pain of the attack settles on her body,her assailant commences ripping into her badly bruised midsection with stomps. A female fan in the front row actually has the unbelievable audacity to heckle Bruiser for his treatment of Alix. Not about to let such discourtesy go unpunished, Uber hurls a wad of spits towards the young lady! COACH Uber doesn't go down to the crack house and tell that chick how to suck dick, so she shouldn't come down to the arena and tell him how to wrestle. While the moralistic fans decry his savage display, Uber is already executing his next move, a standard brainbuster. However Alix prevents her brain from being busted by latching onto the ring ropes as if her approaching middle age life depended on it. Despite his unrivaled strength, Bruiser can't manage to overpower the rope aided resistance of his foe. The frustration of the failure overwhelms Uber, and twists his face into a dark grimace as he allows Alix to go free. He then attempts to separate her head from her body with a lariat. Yet, Alix barely manages to dodge the beheading, rolling bellow the deadly weapon and turning Uber into even more of an irate madman. He tries to bust the Los Angeles native wide open with a fearsome running forearm smash. But Alix evades the strike with a swift kick to his gut. She snags a doubled over Uber into a front facelock, then spikes his cranium into the mat with a textbook DDT, drawing a huge ovation from the fans! Refusing to accept defeat at the hands of his much smaller foe, Uber makes the fatal error of standing right up, and eats a second DDT for his gaffe. He doesn't quite his learn lesson and makes a less then triumphant return to his vertical base. This time his headstrong blunder earns him Alix's version of the tornado DDT the Sucker Free DDT! The rabid fans heartily applaud for the DDT triplets, as the world seems to wave and swim before Uber's blurred vision. “LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!” Frank is much less encouraging to his brother then the crowd is to Alix, demanding that he either get up and fight or “puss out” and tag him. His head a jumbled mess, Uber choses option B, and slogs his way towards his waiting partner. No one in the arena seems to be paying any attention to the Bruiser's situation, as they are much to focused on mobilizing Alix to her corner. Sweat pouring down her face, and turning her hair into something resembling a damp mop, Ally begins the perilous journey to her corner. She looks on the verge of passing out, and each step she takes towards Krista seems like it might be her last. For her part, Krista promises Alix the world if she can just find it within her to somehow make the tag with her. Krista's prayers don't go unanswered, and Alix finally reaches her trembling hand, causing the sold out crowd to erupt with joy. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” chant the fans, not detecting that Uber has made the tag to The Man of Tomorrow. The newest competitors blaze a trail towards one another. The monumental meeting of the tag team's de facto leaders ends with Frank being leg lariated off his feet. Krista doesn't bother to celebrate her minor victory, instead deriving her pleasure from blasting Uber with a dropkick. But just as soon as he goes down, does big brother come back up, ready to end this COD nuisance once and for all. But Krista has other ideas in mind, namely whipping Frank into the ropes. She lowers her head as BFB returns from the cables, but the big man leapfrogs the champ and lands behind her. He twirls around to knock her head into the third row with a discus punch, but Krissy counters the strike by stunning him with an inverted atomic drop! The Man of Tomorrow clutches his (allegedly) 10” python, and screams in white hot pain, as the crowd hoots and hollers over his misery. Their soon given even more to cheer about as Krista winds up and annihilates what's left of his blood soaked nose with a superkick! COACH She calls that sequence Krista's Great California Adventure. But ain't nothing great about having to wear that Rip Hamilton mask for the rest of ya days because a fitness instructor kicked ya nose off ya face. Uber retries his poor luck with Miss California, attempting to sneak attack her with a clubbing forearm. But thanks to a cry of “look out” from a little girl in the first row, Krista is able to block Bruiser's blow with an elbow strike. Uber stumbles backwards, instinctively nursing the fresh cut above his eye. This leaves him prey to any manner of viscous assaults, and Krisy capitalizes on this fact, by leaping into is back, and putting her knees to her chest to pulverize him with a lung blower! This time Uber's howls aren't ones of triumph, but rather of raw agony. Hearing his siblings cries of distress, Frank rises to his feet and crazily directs a Soonerline towards Miss California's lovely face. What the move packs in rage, it lacks in technique, form and most importantly speed, and Krista is easily able to duck bellow it and move herself behind Frank. The momentum of his miss clumsily carries him forward, but he's held into place by Krista's hands being wrapped around his bloodied face. His entire body is violently dragged downward by the force of Krista's ode to Redd Fox the [b]Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one!”[/b] (Reverse X-Factor). The fans squawk with excitement, getting louder when Krista hooks the leg for a pinfall. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO CROWD [b]THREE![/b] No, no, no, no! At the last possible minute, Uber breaks up the count, infuriating the pro-COD fanbase. But their dour mood begins to improve when Krista and a recovered Alix begin seizing on The Pyscho Gremlin with brutal stomps. He manages to rise to his feet past their torrent of kicks, but this only puts him in a far worse situation as the girls launch him into the corner. He smacks against the posts with a booming thud, too worn down by the night's festivities to effort any sort of escape. Taking advantage of Uber's weakness, Alix charges in with a lariat. Needless to say a lariat from a bulimic woman doesn't exactly bring much hurt to Uber's world. But the pain quickly begins to mount when Krista follows Alix by slashing her bare knee into Bruiser's face! As the cut on Uber's head begins to ooze gobs of blood, Ally lies on the mat, and Krista takes hold of her shapely legs. The blond bombshell dives backwards, lifting Alix into the air, and shooting her towards their rival. Uber tries to evade his approaching attacker. But the blood in his eyes causes him to misjudge her movement, and the speeding bullet rips into his stomach with a shoulder block! “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” Big Frank, head lowered like a rampaging bull, rushes towards Krista. However the blond bombshell effortlessly avoids his approach by leapfrogging over him. Undettered by the avoidance, Big Frank continues his charge, fixing his murderous intent upon Alix. This becomes a severe error in judgment, as Alix counters the attack by striding forward, wrapping her arms around his waist, flipping into the air, and liquidizing his skull with the [b]Burning Sensation When You Urinate While the audience reacts with pleasure to the showy attack, Alix pins bone weary Frank. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Uber descends upon the pinfall with a body splash! Rather then be smushed between the muscle bound brutes, Ally quickly slides her body out of the way, leaving Uber to collide with his partner. Unlike his brother, who emits horrible groans of pain, Uber is seemingly unhurt by his humiliating folly. He stands up to get a measure of revenge on the plucky lasses, but the only thing that he receives for his troubles is a double dropkick that sends him out the ring! COLE These fans are on the edge of their seats, and the action is just going to continue later on tonight in the Lethal Rumble and with the second ever Survive or Surrender match, but right now these two teams are battling over the most prized possession in all of tag team wrestling! With Bruiser incapacitated for the time being, Krista turns to pin Frank and bring this contest to a close. But The Man of Tomorrow has risen to his feet, and a look of solid hatred burns through his crimson mask. Easily able to match BFB's rage, Krista skids along the canvas, lunging for him with a yakuza kick. But, in one sickeningly smooth motion, Big Frank sidesteps her attacking leg, snakes his hands around her waist, then shoots her backwards with a release German Suplex! The second she hits the ground, Big Frank stands up, ready to turn his powerful attacks upon her bubbly partner. But Alix is several steps ahead of him, and uses her considerable speed to rock him with an enziguri! Frank plummets to the canvas and immediately rolls himself to the outside to attend to his bloodied and beaten head. Not wishing to give her enemy anytime to recover his strength, Ally stalks him outside where she vigorously pumps his face into apron. Back in the ring, Krista unsteadily rises to her feet, not at all sure of where her fellow competitors went. She becomes aware of Uber Bruiser's location in a most painful manner, as The Pyscho Gremlin stuns her with a crippler crossface! The audience promptly and loudly begs her to fight free of the deadly submission. And fight out she does, desperately scrambling her way towards the salvation of the ring ropes. Yet, Uber isn't willing to allow her the freedom she seeks, and rains forearms into her face right as she reaches the cables. But his efforts to withold her in his grasp become moot, as Alix knocks him off her gal pal with a majestic 619! Surprisingly the crowd chooses to the boo after the move, rather then let loose with the expected cheer of approval. Their ill feelings no longer come as much of a shock as the camera pans out to show Big Frank Bruiser in the ring, body stained crimson, and eyes staring daggers at Ally. Despite the audience screaming a plethora of warnings, Alix endures a mighty shock when her opponent takes her off her feet with a side Russian leg sweep! He turns Krista, who's still seeking to recover from the crossface, and grabs her left leg, seeking out a half crab. But Krista isn't nearly as helpless as Frank would've liked, and her right leg kicks the big man into the cables. The ropes push him back into a small package from Krista, that has the crowd blaring with frantic elation! CROWD ONE CROWD TWO CROWD THRE... Frank kicks out, generating a wealth of heat from the Providence natives. Krista shares in their annoyance, but doesn't let her negative emotions prevent her from dealing with an opponent she knows is near defeat. She bounds off the ropes, delicately timing her movement so that she reaches The Man of Tomorrow right as he stands up. Her carefully planned move is executed perfectly and she SPEARS the off balance superstar to the mat the moment he rises, thrusting the fans into a frenzy! A pin follows the impressive move. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Uber, who had been outside the squared circle, reaches into the ring to pull Krista off his brother just as Robinson was about to make the pivotal three count! [b]“BOOOOO!”[/b] Ally greatly pleases the enraged spectators by bouncing off the ropes and delivering a baseball slide into Uber's face. The strike pushes Uber back several feet, and expands the gaping wound on his forehead, but it fails to bowl him over. Thus the girls are required to come up with a technique that will exterminate the fierce canine permanently. After a moment's discussion, Alix elevates herself onto Krista shoulders. Taking great care not to drop Ally from her risky perch, Krista glides towards the edge of the ring. Once Kris is in position, Alix arches backwards, in a movement resembling a reverse hurricana. Krista keeps hold of Alix's furry boots, then uses them to lever her back over, and catapult her onto prostrate Uber with a modified splash to the outside! Krista, the referee, the announcers, and everyone in attendance watch with enchanted awe as the high risk move yields a high reward, when Alix's attacking body knocks Uber out of this contest, and possibly out of this industry! “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” COLE Wow! That's their little used double team finisher called the Lesbequick! With fate of The Bruiser family legacy in his hands alone, Frank darts towards Krista, only to be met with a kick to the stomach. She hooks him into a lazy front facelock, thinking she can easily end his night with a simple DDT. As always, pride comes before the fall, and Krista pays for her over confidence when Frank spins out of her weak hold, and drags her to the mat with an anklelock! COLE I don't think we've ever seen Frank use this move before! That turns out to be for good reason, because his unfamiliarity with the move may cost him the match! Krista, with unerring ease, turns over onto her back, then rockets her upper body upright and pulls Frank down into a small package! CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD [b]THREE![/b] But Frank pulls out of the pinning situation, but with a hand still on Krista's foot, he's able to do so while moving back into the anklelock! The hold is far tighter then before, and Krista can feel the tendons and bones in her foot began to snap away as the pressure of the move increases by the second. Her hands reach out for the ropes, but Big Frank drags her back towards the center of ring, demanding that she tap out and relinquish her belt to him. Spit pours out of his vulgarity spewing mouth, and dried blood cakes off his screaming face as he wrenches her limb, causing her to shriek in terror. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” bleat the audience. Krista isn't willing to wave good-bye to championship, but but by the same token she's no longer able to stomach the building pain. Thus she's pressured into putting forth one last make or break effort to outwit the dreadful animal. Once again she manages to turn onto her back, but not without causing great discomfort to her ankle. She struggles past the misery and sits up to overtake Frank in another rollup. As she says a prayer to gods above that this pinfall will be the final one of the match, Charles Robinson makes the crucial count. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO COACH Kick out, Frank! CROWD [b]THREE!!!!!!![/b] There is no last minute kickout, no 2.9999999 escapes. This match is finally over, and the arena shakes with the spectators' cheers as a result. Frank can't believe that this isn't some sort of terrible nightmare and pleads with Robinson to restart match and give him a second chance. Charles, who's had his fairshare of issues with the Bruisers as of late, simply screams “DON'T START NO SHIT, IT WON'T BE NO SHIT!” then runs away. BUFFER THE WINNERS AND STILL CHAMPIONS......CHICKS OVER DICKS! Alix isn't very concerned with the fact that Krista's ankle nearly got broke, and leaps into her arms in celebration. She orders Krista to carry her towards the back, a request Krista is much too tired to argue over. While they depart, The Bruisers sit in somber silence, wondering how they failed to reclaim their title belts. COLE The Bruisers coming up short tonight, but they still have a chance to get back in title contention by winning the Anderson Cup. The road isn't easy for them, though, as they will face Black T in the second round in what should be a fantastic match up!

Just like the title said this ish is strictly for the streets. Ya'll are hyphy, but let's face it, most of you ain't been in the hood like I have. This is for my real niggas that be bustin they gun on the daily. If ya'll ain't for the streets, then to the left, motherfuckers, because I'll air you Internet niggas out right quick. This street shit ain't safe for you. LA County, niggas, if you a bitch then get your ass from round here before we come with those bullets to ya brain. Shouts out to my gangstas in STL, NYC, DC, 313, YAY AREA, SA, RI, MIA, we doing this all fuckin' day ya heard. It ain't safe for these bitches to leave they fuckin' house no more. We go backstage where tag team champions Alix Maria Spezia and Krista Isadora Duncan linger by a catering table, engaged in a heated argument over what they should do with the family of rats in their basement. One says to hire an exterminator, the other says the rats have the right to file an appeal with the UN to be recognized as a sovereign nation. Try to guess who's making which argument. Just try. Suddenly the camera switches to a shot of Colombian Heat, bouncing down the hall, and flowing like Dre in his NWA prime. Outfitted in a pair of Bathing Ape Jeans, and red camouflage Bathing Ape t-shirt, he parts the sea of stage hands and random wrestlers like a hip-hop moses. COLOMBIAN HEAT (Rapping. Loudly. Incredibly loudly) Fuck what ya heard, this is what you're hearin, Colombian Heat up in ya television, tellin ya a vision with Nostradamus like precision. Got money on mah mind but no mind on da money, got time for the honeys, but no honeys for mah time. KRISTA (spotting Heat) Oh god! Don't come over here, don't come over here, don't come over here. Please god, I'll do anything you want if you keep him from coming over here, I'll go to church, I'll give money to charity, I'll save orphans from burning buildings, I'll stop using my dead uncle's handicap parking sticker from 1988 to get preferred parking, I'll even be nice to Terry Taylor! Well, maybe I won't do that last part. A devious smile creeps onto Alix's lips as she watches Krista try to gain the favor of a god she doesn't actually believe in. ALIX Hey, Cypress Hill, where ya goin', dude? Come and chat with us, babe! KRISTA I hate you, Alix. I hope nothing but terrible things happen to you for the rest of your life. I hope all the millions of bad things that were reserved for other people, get shifted to you and you alone, that is how much I hate you right now. ALIX Oh, hush, you know you love me. Our new age Young Joc comes to an abrupt halt when he spots Chicks Over Dicks. His eyes bug out of his head and he does a complete double take at the sight of the tag team champions. Krista recognizes this look and knows it means nothing good. COLOMBIAN HEAT God dayum, there some fine things goin' on up in hurr! Why don'tcha turn around and let a ballla see whatcha workin' wit'? Ya'll bitches lookin' so fine playas in the next room'll nut! KRISTA (muttering to herself) Of all the days to forget the can of mase. HEAT Mamis be lookin good enough to eat, and Colombian Heat's always bout dat sexual appetite! Ask Beavis I get nothing BUTT-Head! KRISTA So, who is this new character that God, who obviously wishes me a lifetime of misery, has introduced to further ruin my already horrible and unbearable life? ALIX Colombian Heat, Krissy! He used to be in the Lightening Crew. HEAT Lightening Crew be way in the past, babygirl. Here today, I’m my own thug. I ain't need no crew 'cause I am a one man fuckin' monster. I ain't need to join up with nobody no more. I ain't need nobody’s help on shit. Man, I am the OAOAST, breathing, shitting, eating, sleeping OAOAST. And I can’t be fucked with right now. I’ma forced to be reckoned with. Anybody dat don’t like it, they can drop a promo 'bout it and I will dismantle 'em piece by piece lyrically and physically. You smell me? KRISTA (muttering to herself) I smell something alright..... ALIX Oh snapple! For real tho Fives Angels, I heard thru some peeps about your mad mental clout, so I ain't even tryna fuck wif you. It's all love, b. I gots nuthin' but bowed head and e-fed hitz for ya, big daddy, to tryna get some of that knowledge, widsom, and understandin of self you be rollin heavy wif. HEAT Word? ALIX Word and life. Life and word. Colombian Heat the substance that'll make your third eye cry-too potent, too high in intelligence quotient. KRISTA Jesus Christ, Alix, don't encourage him or he'll never leave. Good lord, only by the grace of god there go I. HEAT Yo, what thar mean? ALIX It means she's going to start drinking early. HEAT Hells yeah, mami! Sip on that Alize and get dis party right. I'm feelin ya sexy style, girl. And Alix, you feelin' the mental and physical clout that Heat be comin' hard with. But I got bustas like Tha Pureto Rican still tryin' to assassinate mah character. To that I say getcha mind right, Puerto, because you can't assassinate nothin' about Heat. I've always walked the walk and talked the talk. My shit is impeccable. I'm the boss round here. If me and Puerto were on a deserted island together, it'd be cool. I wouldn't have to tell him nothing. He would get the fish, cook the fish, get the firewood, start the fire, build me a hut and a stage and entertain me. Why? 'Cause I am the boss of that dude, and if he, Vitamin X, Popick, and the rest of 'em keep tryin' to roll on me, then they all gonna get they lives slowed. Ya'll go and ya'll tell him dat! KRISTA Wait, was that just a figure of speech or an honest to good invite to leave? Because if I could get out of this conversation without having to first commit some kind of bloody and horrific murder/suicide, that would be a miracle of turning water to wine proportions. No, Krista, no you can't just walk away that easily! Why? Because the cruiser weight sensation, partner of Heat, and one half of the HI-YAH tag team champions, Spanish Fly walks onto the scene, making things a bit more interesting. SPANISH FLY What's up, Heat? Whatcha doing round here, man? We gotta go meet with those reps from HI-YAH for a quick photoshoot. What do you think is my good side, right or left? HEAT You ain't got no good side, dats why you wear a mask. A lightbulb-not a real one, that would be weird-pops above Krissy's head. She seems to think that she can insult her way out of this conversation. KRISTA Hey, what are you doing? You're not supposed to be here! You've got to take the magic ring to Mount Doom before Lord Sauron and his evil horde get their hands on it! Hurry along, my sweet hobbit, the fate of Middle Earth rests in your hands! Fly steps towards Krista in anger, despite probably having heard that joke a million times before. KRISTA Woah, don't come any closer dude, you're so tiny that if you stand between my legs people might think I have a penis! SPANISH FLY That's a nice shirt, lady. How much? Twenty five cents? KRISTA Try three hundred, Smurfette. You're five foot three and you've got a fat gut, I'd bet you'd be taller if you just laid on your back. If you don't like the shirt, I can always change it. But you're short, ugly and broke, there's no shirt change for that. ALIX Hold the Boost mobile cellphone, sister from another mister, or maybe from the same mister, which would make our couples therapy sessions a lil bit more interesting to say the least, I can't have you talking like that to my people! KRISTA Your people? ALIX Di-di-did I stutter? Alix [i]Maria[/i] Spezia holdin it down for Latinonation and Lesbination. For real tho, we got nuthin' but love for you both. One love, one life, one Virgin Islands. West Los Angeles, where the grass is greener, the crips are meaner, the gangstas ride and the snitches die. One for the homies on the mind, and one for the homies on the grind(points to Fly and Heat). That's my word, my bond. Peace Blood. Peace God. KRISTA Why must every Thursday of my life, and one Sunday a month, be filled with such unendurable hell? FLY Hey, Heat, that's one hard lyric Alix just said. HEAT Word. Mad love for the blessings, mami. Ya'll stay fly and keep doing whatcha doin' in the OAOAST. And we gonna keep doin what we doin' in HI-YAH. And both of ya'll better be at mah victory party after I take that Lethal Rumble, because we gonna be up in da club beatin' that bitch loud! Ya heard? KRISTA Unfortunately. With that the two parties shake hands. Or exchange a dap, if you keep it in the hood as I have been known to do. Passing a final nod to Alix and Krista, Heat and Fly depart for their HI-YAH photoshoot, while pontificating on how Expressionist playwrights may have interpreted the representation of the psychoanalytical interior world in this chance meeting of champions. KRISTA (turning to a nearby stagehand) Is there some kind of gas leak in here? EWC: Didn't know where you wanted this segment so I didn't mention the HI-YAH title match. You can edit if you like, but only if you a real nigga.

Name: Biff Atlas Nicknames: Nothing complimentary. Age: 28 Height: 5'10 Weight: 220lbs Hometown: Venice Beach, CA Alignment: Heel. Stable Affiliation: None Wrestling style: Power-based Theme music: Men Without Hats, "The Safety Dance" Entrance Style: Biff makes very sure not to trip over any cables or upturned edges of ringside mats on his way to the ring and will usually find something that violates his idea of safety to complain about along the way. Ring attire: Aquamarine blue shorts with a picture of the globe on the BUTT and the word 'ATLAS' written across it in deep red lettering. A teeny-tiny hula skirt which he usually removes before a match, ankle vine bracelets which he doesn't. During his matches, should danger present itself, Biff may produce an item of protective clothing or equipment that may or may not prove useful in his match. Not all of it is strictly legal in a wrestling match, but as Biff will protest, wrestling isn't very safe without it. Finishing Move(s) (try to keep it to 1 or 2): SCV (Safety Code Violation)- DVD into Michinoku Driver Safetysault- Moonsault. Least successful finisher ever. If he ever actually hits this, expect hell to freeze over. Irony is, it's not very safe at all. Signature Moves: OHSAA Approved Powerbomb- Running Powerbomb Caution, Big Drop Ahead- Full Nelson lifted into a faceplant NO RUNNING!- Big Spear on a running opponent Always Wear Safety Goggles- Running High Knee Bottom Rope Big Splash (because the middle rope is too dangerous) Canadian Backbreaker Side Belly To Belly Suplex Spinning Wheel Kick Basic moveset: Nothing super flashy. Very safe. Loves to use clotheslines. Manager/valet/sidekick: None. Catchphrases/Trademark gestures: "Better to be safe than you!" "Safety first" History/Background/Career Highlights: Biff Atlas arrived in the OAOAST as one half of Nutrition's Real Gurus, the team you loved to be indifferent about. The merchandise-hocking duo experienced minimal success, failing in feuds with The Sk8ter Boiz and The Beverly Hills Blonds, never even making it on PPV as a team. The lack of success took it's toll and once their manager Mackenzie DeCenzo ditched the team due to their apparant incompetence, the writing was on the wall. Flex Phillips was eventually let go by the company in early 2007, but Biff managed to successfully beg for earn a new contract, mainly due to his cult status with the fans, some of whom had taken the sometimes hapless Biff to heart. Everybody loves an underdog, after all. Now free from the NRG name, Biff faces life as a solo wrestler and with a new identity. Turning his back on the life of a 'professional' fitness guru, Biff has now embraced a more worthy cause- informing the wrestling world of the perils of Global Warming! The keen environmentalist (that explains the hula skirt... actually, wait, no it doesn't) now has a purpose in life and a message to send. Will it bring him success in the ring? What do you think? Well, were you right? Struggling to get his message across, Biff's passion for the planet took a backstep when he suffered an accident backstage at an OAOAST show due to a stray television cable. Biff realised that personal safety was an issue much closer to home than global safety and has decided to make sure others don't befall the same fate he did by appointing himself Health And Safety Officer of the OAOAST and vowing to make the OAOAST a safer working environment. And the only way to do this is to show people how unsafe wrestling can be... the hard way! Will it bring him success in the ring? What do you think?

Awwww! Nice show, about on par with last weeks and better then I expected the HD leading into AP to be. Overall, a good push to the big event. It seems the actual rumble itself was hyped up better this year then it was last year, although I have a shitty memory so I could be full of crap with that comment. Ned has fine taste in L word cast members, though I'm a bit partial to Kathrine Moenning or Rachel Shelley. don't know why I needed to use the bubbles emo-thingie, I just wanted to complete the set.

no prob, dude. it's all one love, my blood.

Told ya it was tiny. Teeeeeeny tiny. Teeeeeeny weeeeeeeny tiny tiny. Small. Pint-sized. Microscopic. COLE Coach, before we continue I'd like to... COACH Explain why you're wearing a push-up bra? COLE No. I'd like to inform all the loyal OAOAST fans of a very exciting, once in a life time opportunity. The OAOAST has teamed up with Ebay.com and the Tibetan Freedom Organization to bring to you a very unique charity auction. With this auction you have a chance to bid on the opportunity to spend a day with the OAOAST's two most popular ladies, Alix Maria Spezia, and Krista Isadora Duncan! That's right, you could be the lucky person who gets chill with Hollywood's “It” girls, Chicks Over Dicks. All proceeds go to Tibetan Freedom Organization, and the winner will be announced live on HeldDOWN on February 15th. So, what are you waiting for? Bid today! [url="http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/auc2.jpg"][B](CLICK HERE FOR THE AUCTION!!!)[/B][/url] COACH Man, you ugly and you stupid. The people who got the money to spend on a charity auction damn sure ain't watching no pro wrestling. Look at the audience, Cole, this ain't exactly the same clientèle frequenting Spagos and driving BMWs. Forget an auction, these morons can't even afford an OAOAST divas calendar to beat off to. Truth, Cole. Truth.

don't forget meeeeee

Ten Person Tag Team Match Chicks Over Dicks, The Lonestar Gunslingers, and Dance Dance Dragon Vs James Riggs, Black T, and The Sooner Bruisers. That ? isn't the quirky name of a new wrestler. It's actually an open spot in the match, so if anyone has a face character they wouldn't mind being in the match(I guess it could be a heel fuck ur heel/face divide, shades of grey u ass hoes) then get at me and lemme know.