Patty O'Green

BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a thirty-minute TV time limit. Introducing first. Already in the ring. From San Jose, California. Weighing in at 230 pounds. MICHAEL ANDERSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNN! Michael Anderson, a young 5’8” Caucasian male with semi-long black hair, brown eyes, a white bandana around his head, yellow elbow pads, white wrist tape, long black tights with yellow vertical and horizontal stripes and white wrestling boots, raises his hands in the air to no reaction. He throws his hands up in response. by Big Pun featuring Tony Sunshine starts playing over the P.A. system. [Tony Sunshine] Ooooooooooohhhhh… Puerto Rico [big Punisher] Toma [Chorus: Tony Sunshine] [Pronto llegara] El dia de mi suerte Te lo juro por mi gente Te juro que un dia llegara And we won't stop We always knew we'd make it Even though you player hated we still made it to the top [big Punisher] Puerto Rock Puro, not Menudo no I'm not the one I'm studyin’ Judo, judo know if I got a gun It's Pun, from the X side of things, baguette inside my rings Everything I want I gets, bada-BING It's mine I Shyne like money that sound like Biggie Fuck around my town, Boogie Down my city Come around get pound, to the ground no pity Watch the sound, fo'-pound twenty round milli' Get smacked silly, for coming out your mug I'm known for bouncin’ thugs from the Tunnel to the Salsa clubs Don't matter, put the chrome to your bladder Splatter your abs, have you pissin’ in a plastic bag That's a drag now you abnormal Don't make me go out to rumble, and put some motherfuckin stabs on you The night is young and I'm already fightin’ hidin’ my gun Promoter buggin’ screamin‘, "Who the fuck invited Pun?" [Chorus: Tony Sunshine] [Pronto llegara] El dia de mi suerte Te lo juro por mi gente Te juro que un dia llegara And we won't stop We always knew we'd make it Even though you player hated we still made it to the top The entrance doors slide open, and it is revealed that this entrance theme belongs to Tha Puerto Rican’s brother, “Virgin Island Thunder” Victor Perez! The crowd pops for Victor’s appearance. Victor looks thrilled to be finally making his OAOAST TV debut, as he jumps up and down on the entrance stage. He flashes a peace sign and plays to the crowd some more before walking down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way. BUFFER And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 208 pounds. Making his OAOAST Television debut. He is “Virgin Island Thunder” VICTORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR PERRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! Victor’s ring attire consists of long light blue tights that have a Puerto Rican flag design on both sides, the word “QUAGMIRE” written on the waist in gold letters, “Nunca Te Rindas” written on the rear in gold letters which is Spanish for “Never Give Up”, white wrist tape and red wrestling boots just like ones Tha Puerto Rican wears. He comes to the ring wearing a Crucifix around his neck and a black unbuttoned collar shirt that has the Puerto Rican flag stitched onto the left side above the left breast pocket. COLE This young man, at 24 years of age, making his OAOAST debut! The brother of former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Out of fear of Tha Puerto Rican watching this, I’m just gonna keep my mouth shut. COLE Good idea. You should keep it shut for the rest of the show! You never know when PRL stops watching this program! Victor makes sure to slap hands with everybody at ringside before stopping at the ring steps, crossing himself, and then running up the ring steps so that he can climb onto the ring apron and hop into the ring. Victor flashes another peace sign to a cheering crowd, and then pumps his fists, clearly excited for this moment as “100%” continues playing. COLE A lifelong dream about to be fulfilled. Victor Perez following in his big brother’s footsteps by stepping into an OAOAST ring for the first time tonight! Victor removes his shirt and hands it over to a ringside attendant. He then removes his Crucifix, kisses it and then hands it over to the same ringside attendant. Perez stretches on the ropes while referee Andrew Thomas pats down Michael Anderson. The referee then pats down Victor. After going over the rules one last time, Andrew Thomas calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* “VIRGIN ISLAND THUNDER” VICTOR PEREZ vs. MICHAEL ANDERSON “100%” by Big Pun featuring Tony Sunshine dies down. Perez claps his hands in order to get the fans to clap along. The fans do so. COLE And here we go. The first match in the OAOAST career of Victor Perez is underway! Victor and Michael circle each other. They lock up. Both men jockey for position. Victor grabs a headlock on Anderson. He cinches the hold tight. Anderson walks with Perez back into the ropes and then shoves him off into the opposite ropes. Victor fires back with a shoulderblock which knocks down Anderson to a pop! Victor then bounces off of the ropes, jumps over Anderson, bounces off of the opposite ropes, and nails Michael with a spinning wheel kick to another pop from the crowd! Victor poses to cheers! COLE And Victor Perez is rolling in the opening minutes of this contest! Victor goes for a cover. 1... 2... LEFT SHOULDER UP! Perez picks Michael up and seats him on the mat. He measures Anderson up and then hits him with a STIFF~! kick to the back with his right foot that is heard all over the arena! He hits Anderson with another STIFF~! kick with his left foot that causes the crowd to groan! One more kick to the shoulder blades with his right foot has the crowd (and Michael) groaning. “Virgin Island Thunder” bounces off of the ropes and hits Michael with a front dropkick to the face! Victor covers Michael. He gets a two count! COLE Victor able to keep the also-young Michael Anderson down on the mat! Perez picks Anderson up off the mat, getting elbowed in the gut as he does so. Anderson punches Victor in the gut as he’s getting up. Michael Anderson does several European Uppercuts to Victor Perez, hurting the rookie. COLE And now Anderson is in control. Michael Anderson gives Perez an Irish whip into the opposite ropes. He follows that up with a jumping back elbow which knocks Victor to the mat! Anderson goes for the cover. 1... 2... LEFT SHOULDER UP! Anderson applies a chinlock on Victor. He trash talks while doing so. Andrew Thomas checks on Victor as the crowd starts rallying behind him. “VIC-TOR!” “VIC-TOR!” “VIC-TOR!” “VIC-TOR!” COLE The crowd showing support for Victor much in the same way that they support his older brother! Anderson knees Perez in the back several times. He then picks Perez up. A whip into a corner is followed by a clothesline that rocks Perez! Anderson whips Perez into the opposite turnbuckles, but Perez is able to stop in his tracks, grab ahold of the top turnbuckle, jump up when he sees Anderson charging towards him, land behind Anderson when Anderson stops himself from crashing into the turnbuckles, and when Anderson turns around, nail him with repeated kicks to the thighs and midsection! COLE Victor going to work on his opponent! Victor whips Anderson into the ropes--Anderson reverses, Victor bounces off of the ropes, charges forward, jumps off of the mat and somehow manages to wrap his legs around Michael Anderson and give him a hurricarana! COLE Unbelievable! Victor Perez able to do a hurricarana out of nowhere! Amazing! Anderson gets back up quickly and goes for a clothesline. Unfortunately for him, Victor is able to do the MATRIX DODGE~!, surprising Anderson and the crowd. COLE Oh my! Anderson wonders where Victor went for one second, and then turns around, where Victor is back up and punching Anderson in the face repeatedly! The punches rock the journeyman, getting him dazed and confused. Once Victor has Michael stunned, he kisses his right fist and then hits Michael right in the face with a right hook that knocks him down! Afterwards, Victor plays to the crowd. COLE Shades of his brother, right there! Victor climbs the top rope and waits for Michael to get up. COLE What could he be going for now? Once Anderson gets to his feet, Victor SOARS~! with an Evan Bourne-like Senton, bringing Anderson back down to the mat and landing on his knees! COLE I’ve never seen anybody in the OAOAST use that maneuver before! Victor goes for another cover on Anderson! 1...2...3--KICK OUT!!! COLE A close nearfall for Victor Perez, who is absolutely amazing us in his debut match here in the OAOAST! Victor argues the count, but then goes back to the work. He stomps on Anderson a few times, and then picks him up. *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Perez delivers an Irish Whip onto Anderson. Anderson bounces off of the ropes, Victor leapfrogs over him, Anderson bounces off of the opposite ropes, Anderson does a reverse leapfrog over him, Anderson bounces off of the ropes, into an arm-drag from Perez! Anderson gets up, and he gets dropkicked back down by Perez! COLE That one is straight out of Tha Puerto Rican’s playbook! Victor goes to pick Anderson up, but gets poked in the eyes! Michael Anderson fires with punches to “Virgin Island Thunder’s” face. The crowd does not approve of this. Anderson delivers an Irish Whip onto Perez. He goes for a clothesline, Perez ducks, bounces off of the opposite ropes, charges forward…and hits Anderson with a spinning forearm! COLE And Perez back on offense! Perez KIPS UP~! He plays to the crowd and then exits the ring to climb the top rope. COLE Uh-oh. Perez going up top! Anderson might be in trouble here! Victor positions himself on the top rope. He stands up, the crowd buzzing in anticipation of his next move. Victor throws up a double peace sign, looks down at the writhing Anderson, looks at the crowd and looks up at the sky, smiling… before jumping off of the top rope, flipping forward in mid-air, and crushing Michael Anderson with all of his weight to loud cheers from the crowd! COLE Swanton Bomb! A Swanton Bomb from Victor Perez! Victor quickly covers Michael Anderson, making sure to hook his right leg while doing so. Andrew Thomas makes the count, along with the crowd. 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (3:09) “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE And Victor Perez with an impressive debut in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! “100%” by Big Pun featuring Tony Sunshine starts playing over the P.A. system. Victor crosses himself and gives thanks to God, looking up to the heavens as the crowd cheers. BUFFER Here is your winner…”Virgin Island Thunder” VICTORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR PERRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! Andrew Thomas raises Victor’s hands in victory. Victor, breathing heavily, still has the strength in him to stand up and wave to the crowd. He blows kisses to his fans and then throws up another peace sign. Michael Anderson is still on the mat, holding his back in pain. Victor slowly exits the ring. He slaps hands with the fans as he walks up the entrance ramp. COLE A great showing from Victor Perez! Clearly, Tha Puerto Rican isn’t the only talented member of his family! This kid has got a great GREAT future ahead of him and I am certainly looking forward to seeing where he goes in the OAOAST! LATER TONIGHT THE CHAMPION SPEAKS MISTER DICK TONIGHT COMMERCIAL

Let's see if we can have more participation this week

Sadly I have amassed a meager life outside the OAOAST! One tht will keep me out for the rest of the day so they show will go up on Saturday unless someone wants to post it in my absence and all that.

I can wait longer than that!

Man, you ain't the only one who needs a break! I think I'll manage about two segments, tho.

Enjoy that win, Tony, because it'll be the last time anyone out of San Antonio beats anyone out of LA!

oops

* DING * DING * DING * DING * BUFFER This is your HeldDOWN main event! Sanctioned by the OAOAST, it’s for THE ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! Are you ready? “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” BUFFER ¿Todos mi amigos, estás listo? "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BUFFER Then for the thousands in attendance and the millions watching around the world… Ladies and gentlemen… LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET READY TO RRRRRRRRRRRUMMMMMMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! “Motherfucker of the Year” by Motley Crue hits and Mr. Dick charges onstage like a wild bull, whereas Baron Windels is calm, cool and collected. BUFFER Introducing the challengers, themselves former tag champions who tonight team for the first time in many years. They both hail from SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS, and weigh-in at a combine 503 pounds… “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BBAAAAARRRRROOOOOOOOOONN WINDELS and the newly crowned OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… MMMIIIIIIIIIIISSSSTTEEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Mr. Dick enters the ring noticeably agitated, perhaps due to the fact Buffer neglected to mention MALAYSIA, but high-fives BW and holds the title high for all to see. COLE Never thought I’d say this, but it’s great to see Malaysia ringside. In case you don’t know why, be sure to catch the encore presentation of AngleMania IX all this weekend. COACH I was there live and I’m still gonna order the encore presentation. It definitely was the world’s largest orgy of fun. In fact, I bet you had an orgy with those oiled up dudes who brought you to the ring, Cole. COLE I was in heaven the whole night. By which I mean the show! “Girlfriend” by Avril Lavigne cues and COD get their big intro I’m too lazy to look up/write. BUFFER And their opponents… from the City of Angels, they are THE ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS… KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN, ALIX MARIA SPEZIA… CCHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSSSSS OOOOVVVEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Alix high-fives every hand in sight, including those of our broadcast team. ALIX (to Coach) I voted for you. Well, actually Krista did. I preferred the hockey mom because she reminded me of Krista, the wrestling mom. Krista wasn’t too thrilled with the comparison. COLE (laughing) The election was two years ago. ALIX I know but I just now remembered. Later gators. COACH I’m more disturbed by the fact Alix thinks all brothers look alike. All 4 participants meet mid-ring for pre-match handshakes, though Krista and Mr. Dick are quick to wipe their hands afterward. COLE Obviously there are still bitter feelings between Mr. Dick and Krista. Who can forget their match last year at AngleMania VIII where Mr. Dick became the first person ever to pin Krista in a singles match? As everyone takes their places, TIM CASH joins the guys at Sofa Central. COLE Tim Cash, welcome! CASH Great to be here guys. Thanks for inviting me. COACH You invited yourself, but whatever. Trying to steal the spotlight are you? CASH No, sir. Just the opposite in fact. That’s why I waited till the end to come out. COACH Of the closet? COLE Coach! * DINGDINGDING * Alix strikes a fencing pose and shouts “en garde” as the bell sounds, to which BW responds with a quick arm drag. COACH If Alix had her phone, she’d get a text from Melody that reads “Fail.” CASH Melody’s too nice to do that. Well, at least to a friend. Alix charges ahead, but BW leapfrogs her and drops down on the rebound. Quick to react, Alix performs a CARTWHEEL and merrily claps her hands, then grabs a side headlock. BW shoves her off and drops down again. This time he’s ready when Alix attempts another cartwheel, surprising her with a monkey flip. Alix returns to a vertical base following a side headlock takedown and LICKS BW’S NIPPLE TO ESCAPE! BARON ALIX COLE Who says you can’t learn anything watching TV? We just learned Baron Windels is ticklish! COACH I got a little stiff in the pants. How bout you Tim? CASH It’s been a very entertaining match so far. COACH Do you even like girls? CASH Oh, sure. I like Krista, Alix, Jade, Maya, Melody… They’re all very nice girls. COACH I think we’ve found you a new partner, Cole. Alix and BW bump fists, then lockup. Hip toss plants Alix flat on her back, but she kicks BW away and dropkicks him! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Both pop to their feet and tag out to a huge ovation. COACH Here we go. COLE The crowd already buzzing in anticipation of this showdown. Mr. Dick and Krista come eye to eye, nose to nose. Krista none too shy in expressing her desire to be World Champion once again, prompting MD to knee her in the gut. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COLE You’d think Tim Duncan just kneed Kobe Bryant in the groin the way this crowd reacted. CASH Timmy’s too good a guy to do that. Although what we just saw was a bit of a cheap shot, in my opinion. COACH Pretty much everything is a cheap shot in your book. Anyway, a lot of times you’ll see a guy lose his edge after becoming a fan favorite, not Mr. Dick. He’s still very physical in the ring. Face-first into the buckle goes… NO! Krista puts on the brakes and it’s MD who eats turnbuckle. Again. And again. And again. But MD reverses a whip and squashes Krista in the far corner. COLE Bite My Giant Dick! Krista stumbles out but manages to duck a STIFF KICK, which she answers with THE HEBREW HAMMER! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COD tag and deliver a DOUBLE BACKDROP. Alix then channels her inner Scotty 2 Hotty by doing THE WORM. ALIX W… O… R… * awkward pause * “M!” ALIX Oh right. M. Suddenly MD kips up and gives Alix a FACIAL (discus punch)! KRISTA CASH (sighs) I keep telling Jock he’s got to keep the fist open because a closed one is against the rules. MD tags out and motions for BW to cover Alix, but he’s reluctant to do so. COLE Baron Windels still clearly stunned over what just took place. I mean, talk about impact. COACH Yeah, that had to knock the stupid out of her. CASH Well that wasn’t very nice. COACH There’s no time to be nice in the ring against COD. When you got one down you gotta finish them or they‘ll finish you. MD tags himself back in and put the boots to Alix, then rams her into the buckle and follows up with a series of right jabs. Irish whip leads to a MILITARY PRESS SLAM and the cover, but only after MD thrust his pelvis in Krista’s direction. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY KRISTA! COLE A little extra something behind that blow. You know Krista took exception to Dick’s pelvic action. MD holds Alix up for BW following a tag, but rather than punch or kick her BW executes a snap mare. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! BW hooks Alix for a vertical suplex only to be wrapped up in a SMALL PACKAGE! ONE! TWO! NO! BW kicks out, catches Alix in mid-air as she attempts a springboard spear and delivers a FALLAWAY SLAM that sends her outside. Krista goes to her partner’s aid but is cut off by the referee. COACH What did I tell you? You gotta finish the job when you have a member of COD down. Baron Windels almost cost his team tag title gold because he wanted to be a good guy. You’re a bad influence Cash. CASH The only thing bad is your breath. COLE Let’s keep it civil, guys. Out on the arena floor, Malaysia scoops Alix up and DRIVES HER INTO THE RINGPOST! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" CASH COLE Unlike her main squeeze, Malaysia not as popular in San Antonio or other OAOAST arenas for that matter. COACH As they say, old habits die hard. BW watches in disbelief as Malaysia casually rolls Alix back in. All MD can do is shrug his shoulders. But again BW can’t take advantage of the situation, forcing MD to tag himself back in. MD delivers an inverted atomic drop, the prelude to the clothesline from hell… but Alix counters with a CRUCIFIX PIN! COACH Isn’t that blaspheme given COD’s lifestyle?!? The count. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Alix frantically crawls between MD’s legs and tags Krista! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Krista and MD trade blows, with Krista initially getting the better of it until MD fights back to a loud ovation. He whips Krista across but gets taken down by a flying head scissors. Krista holds on to the hold to perform THE PUSH UP FACE CRUSHER! COLE Krista taking it to the World Champion. Krista whips MD into the ropes and leapfrogs him. MD stops and turns right into an inverted atomic drop, then gets nailed with a… NO! MD ducks the super kick and with FULL PENETRATION drives Krista into the mat courtesy of a full nelson slam! The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY ALIX! Alix gives MD a piece of her mind and gets drilled by a BW flying lariat! COACH It’s on now, fellas. MD sets Krista for THE COCK BLOCK, but she floats over and hits THE CODEBREAKER! COLE KIDology! The cover but no count as the ref is busy trying to breakup Alix/BW. This allows Malaysia to sneak in and whack Krista with her CAT O’NINE TAILS. NO!! Tim Cash slides in and yanks it away. COACH What does that idiot think he’s doing? COLE Trying to keep the playing field leveled, that’s what. Krista spots Cash with the whip and confronts him. Cash denies any ill intent but Krista doesn’t buy it, especially with Malaysia at his side. Mr. Dick then sees the whip in Krista’s possession and kicks her low! COLE Low blow! MD delivers THE COCK BLOCK and covers Krista in compromising fashion as Malaysia takes Cash out with her. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match… and your NEEWWW One & Only World tag team champions… BARON WINDELS and the reigning OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… MMMIIIIIIIIIIISSSSTTEEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" MD tosses a tag belt to BW and poses with his 2 titles. COACH New tag champions, Mikey Cole! COLE The Lone Star Gunslingers ride again. Oh my! FADE TO BLACK

And fuck the usual opening spiel lets get right down to big bidness! Here I am again, Hey now, hey now, I'm the mother fucker of the year. Here I am again, Hey now, hey now, I'm the mother fucker of the year. Through golden pyro, and with thunderous hometown cheers, Mister Dick strides through the entrance doors with Baron Windels, Malaysia, and Tim Cash at his side. Mister Dick’s body is heavily bandaged, but this doesn’t hold back his joy as he stares at his shimmering gold title. He throws it through the air, and shouts out to the cheering audience. COLE There he is, folks, the man who endured pure hell to become OAOAST world champion. And for his suffering he lives his dream with his first appearance as world champion coming in his hometown of San Antonio. Welcome to OAOAST HeldDOWN~! I am Michael Cole sitting beside The Coach Johnathan Coachman and things are already heating up here tonight. Mister Dick and his crew enter the ring to more warm applause from sold out audience. Mister Dick smiles wryly at the chants of his name, and nods his head in appreciation. MISTER DICK Damn it feels good to be a champion! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” MISTER DICK And damn it feel good to be back home! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” MISTER DICK Reject, you stupid son of a bitch I gots something to say ya, so listen good, boy, ‘cause I ain’t in no mood to repeat my damn self. COLE What could Mister Dick have on his mind? MISTER DICK Reject, you talked a good word about leaving me layin’ in a pool of my own blood and all that crap, and ya talked a good word about makin me respect ya. And when ya had me handcuffed and ya swung that chair and bashed my brains in, my career flashed before my eyes. When ya struck me with that Eulogy of yers I damn sure thought my title dream was over. But like a stupid son of a bitch, ya stopped the referee’s count and cost yerself the god damn title. Boy, you are as stupid as day old donkey shit! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” MISTER DICK I ain’t got no respect for you, I ain’t got no respect for your stable, I ain’t got no respect for your church, your family, or yer friends. I think yer a sorry piece of crap, and I hate yer rotten guts. Boy, if you ever try what you tried at Anglemania on me again, I can promise ya that’ll be the last moves you take, ya lousy coward. And, you listen good, son, ‘cause I ain’t done with ya yet. COLE Oh man, he’s roasting Reject. MISTER DICK If ya take a step to Malaysia, Tim Cash, or Baron, yer gonna have me to answer to, boy. And the last time you had me to answer to, I took yer damn title belt. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” MISTER DICK The rest of Deadly Alliance? If you lazy, no good bastards, wanna be led by a real champion, and a real success story…then take yer ass to TNA or WWF ‘cause I ain’t got no time of the day for ya. “MISTER DICK! MISTER DICK! MISTER DICK!” the fans of San Antonio salute their hometown hero. MISTER DICK I gotta show respect to them folks that showed respect to me. Sometimes I ain’t the easiest guy in the world to share a beer with. COACH Oh really? MISTER DICK I might be wound a little tight, and I like to go pickin fights with half the people I see, and I ain’t no easy going laid back hippy type. Sometimes I drink some beer, I get a little angry, and I get a little rowdy. People ain’t to happy with the words comin’ out my mouth. That makes it hard to make friends, but I got two great ones in Tim Cash and Baron Windells. You boys are true gentlemen, and I don’t know what I did to deserve guys like you ridin’ the water with me but I sure am glad you’re here. And Malaysia… MALYASIA MISTER DICK Yer fired. MALAYSIA MISTER DICK Kidding, girl, you know I’m sillier than a prized pig on mary-ja-wana! Girl, I couldn’t have done nothing without ya. That bald headed simple minded bastard, Coach, said if it weren’t for Reject I’d be on some undercard match at Anglemania. He got it almost right, if it weren’t fer you I’d be buried ass deep in the bottom of the card, shinning Leon Rodez boots or brushing Krista’s hair to get a push. This title is as much your’s as it is mine. Mister Dick straps the belt around Malaysia’s waist and then raises her hands to the roaring audience. Baron Windells then takes the microphone. BARON Hey Jock, congrats on winning the strap. Thanks for letting Timmy and I be a part of the magic and the celebration. The world title is something we both dreamed about winning back when we broke into the business. We also said whoever climbed to the top of the ladder first would give the other a title shot. MR. DICK I know where you're going with this BW and I’m mighty sorry about how you were cheated right out of yer money in the bank briefcase. Mighty sorry. So, I’d be more honored than anything to have my first title defense against...Tim Cash! CASH MR. DICK Ah, don't be shy you little devil. If it weren’t fer ya leading the charge my hands would still be in handcuffs and my head would be lying beneath the ring because Reject would have taken it right off. But I didn't forget about ya BW. No, no. Friends take care of friends. Tonight we're gonna give the people what they've begging for... a Lone Star Gunslingers reunion as we go for the gold against COD. Alix, Krista, get yer panties on and get ready fer a fight! COLE Wow! The Lonestar Gunslingers against Chicks Over Dicks for the tag team titles! An all star tag match tonight in San Antonio! TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT OAOAST'S SPURS VS LAKERS LONESTAR GUNSLINGERS VS CHICKS OVER DICKS TONIGHT! COMMERCIAL

Backstage in Josie’s office, which is neatly organized and pristenly decorated we find… MAGGIE NERDLY with Josie Baker. No picture for Josie. Sorry, Josie. MAGGIE What’s up ya’ll, it’s the It Girl on the Scene, Maggie Nerdly, chillin with Josie Baker. JOSIE Hi, Maggie. MAGGIE Josie, everyone who’s anyone checked out AM last Sunday, and they all saw you screw Morgan out the world title. Here’s your- JOSIE Screw? MAGGIE I dunno what other verb to use. You screwed her big time! JOSIE I may have screwed Morgan, I can admit that. But I did it in the best interest of the OAOAST. MAGGIE That’s wack, people were starting to get behind my sis and you took her legs out from under her. JOSIE The OAOAST Galaxy doesn’t know what it wants. It has to be told what to do sometimes. Cheer Krista, boo Reject, chant PRL’s name, they do it because I tell them to and they’re happy with that. Morgan was just an odd occurrence, her popularity happened by accident. But I’ve corrected it. We can’t have someone like your sister representing this company. Yes she’s cute and tiny but she’s moody, she’s depressed, she cuts herself, she mumbles in her interivews. That’s not the mark of a champion. MAGGIE You think Holly is a good rep for the fed? Sailor Mouth Holly? JOSIE Holly is slightly rough around the edges, sure, and she’s not my first choice to be women’s champion. MAGGIE Then who is? JOSIE You really want to know? MAGGIE I asked, didn’t I? JOSIE Then its you. You’re young, hip, good looking all that. And none of the baggage of your sister. I think you’d make an excellent women’s champion, so you’ve got first crack at Holly at the Motor City Spectacular. MAGGIE JOSIE Enjoy the rest of the night, Maggie.

“The World is Mine” by David Guetta hits but the LDCMG are slow to appear. Pushed out by COD we see CMJ in a school girl’s outfit while Reiger sports a pink Hello Kitty tank top and skirt complete with heels. COLE BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Already in the ring, from OAOVW… TONY DUNCAN and GEORGE ROBINSON! Their opponents represent THE ENTERPRISE… at a total combine weight of 430 pounds… COLIN MAGUIRE, JR., SPENCER REIGER… THE LDC MMMOOOONNEYGANG!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Reiger nearly stumbles due to his high heels, which draws a good laugh from Duncan and Robinson but the ire of the LDCMG. They storm the ring and pummel their opponents. * DINGDINGDING * COACH Duncan and Robinson aren’t laughing now. They’re crying. CMJ hammers Robinson in the corner with Irish uppercuts as Reiger chops Duncan. The LDCMG whip their opponents into each other and then CMJ executes an HARVARDPLEX, with Reiger following up with a SLINGSHOT DOUBLE STOMP! Standing dropkick sends Duncan into the arms of CMJ for an IRISH SUPLEX! COLE Vintage CMJ! SPIKE REIGER COUNTER leads to the cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners, the team of COLIN MAGUIRE, JR. and SPENCER REIGER… THE LDC MMMOOOONNEYGANG!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COD applaud the former champs who leave the ring in a huff. COLE The LDC Moneygang look great. In the ring that is! COACH Everybody knew what you meant, homo… err, home boy.

Backstage, Tony Brannigan is with the LDC Moneygang. Theodore Moneymaker conspicuous by his absence. BRANNIGAN As you know, new tag team champions were crowned this past Sunday at AngleMania IX. Per stipulation, CMJ and Spencer Reiger must wear dresses for 30 days. But gentlemen, I along with the rest of our viewing audience see you’re dressed to go… not for show. REIGER Tony, you know our word is good as gold. CMJ Solid. REIGER That’s why it pains me to say due to circumstances beyond our control we can’t fulfill our obligations tonight. BRANNIGAN You’ve got to be kidding me! REIGER I wish I was Tony. I wish I was. But unfortunately we became another statistic on our way here. The airline lost our luggage which contained the dresses Lorelei had picked out for us. BRANNIGAN And you couldn’t afford to buy new ones? I find that very hard to believe. REIGER No, we could’ve bought new ones, but our credit cards were in our luggage too. CMJ And we don’t accept charity so asking Teddy for a loan was out of the question. REIGER Yeah, uh… So, sorry I guess. The LDCMG bump into COD as they try to exit. KRISTA Are you guys finished? Because I’m just about to get started. Get started calling bullshit! Luckily we prepared for something like this, so Ally. Alix hands 2 suits bags to the LDCMG, which they open to peak inside. REIGER Oh hell no! KRISTA Before you ask, yes, it does make you look fat. ALIX F-A-T not P-H-A-T. CMJ Ooh, she can spell. ALIX F-U. KRISTA Be nice, baby. They’re just a little moody right now. Maybe you’d like to let loose some steam in a match. REIGER Triple threat match for the tag titles? You’re ON! * phone vibrates * ALIX (opens phone) It’s a text from Melody. * giggles * “LOL” indeed. CMJ KRISTA We never said anything about a title match, only a match. ALIX A match will you can show off your skills while looking like complete tools! KRISTA Now hit the locker room and get dressed. COLE Krista laying down the law.

Papacita, indeed. A warm and welcome face errrrr....usename, still glad to see you around and hear that ya read the show. SMH@Tony houndin dudes for work, ain't you got no shame in your game?

Why it just happens to be from the hometown of the NEW world champion Mister Dick~ Should be an April fools show but we have to move it back due to AM. Who else has AM burnout? I do! I do! I do! But I'll have an MD promo+maybe a segment involving Josie.

Also the hometown of WWE Superstar Shawn Michaels who just got retired by The Undertaker at WWE WrestleMania XXVI this past Sunday. Perfect timing. Was it Alfdogg or I who picked San Antonio as the site for the OAOAST HeldDOWN~! after OAOAST AngleMania IX? I forget. Anyway, I'm gonna see if I can have "Virgin Island Thunder" Victor Perez's debut match happen on this show. What better time than now? Woooooooooah HBK retired? Did in by Taker? That's crazy. Taker still wrestles? That nigga been in the wwf longer than I been alive. Fuck that dude, I don't respect my elders.

Here's to nine more of these motherfuckers! The graphics were hella fine, proper respect due KC. Cute opening! Was Mike Adamle that bad? He was on WWE wasn't he? lol@Landon and Queen Esther's entrance. I would've liked to see Faqu on a throne eating grapes, tho. But KC is a man who understands the importance of the entrance game. It must be why he and I get along so well and Tony and I are constantly plotting to kill each other . Very good opening match, I liked the chemistry between Black and the LKOS. Black's really starting to look like a star lately, hopefully we'll see a one on one match with he and Landon. Man that SCSF was wildin' out! Glad Tony took it to the casino floor, I loved that portion of the contest. lol@the merchandise stand on the casino floor, the OAOAST some money whores! Anyway good stuff here, nice to see the Colonel getting his comeuppance. My man Tony killed it with the tag title match. Really entertaining bout, never a dull or slow moment. The ketchup gag was great for lols. Tony managed to use almost every signature COD move. I think the only move not used was Alix's Confessions of a Kristaholic sommersault neckbreaker. Does Teddy have to wear a dress now, or is it just Colin and Reiger? Alf weren't lyin! This match was excellent! He even wrote longer entrances than usual. The involvement of all the supporting cast members of the feud was a great touch. It was awesome to see how far Reject would go to destroy Jock. Just disturbing how he would stop the referee's count to inflict more damage upon Mister Dick. Great and brutal spots here, a perfect compliment to the SCSF. It may not be the longest AM we've ever had, but it sure was a good one!

From Caesar's Palace in Vegas Very nice hotel, btw. Tony is posting the show so I'll let him explain the entrance set, theme song, etc, etc, etc.

BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen it is time to decide the OAOAST WOMEN’S CHAMPION! A buzz starts to sound out through the crowd at the announcement by Buffer, fans beginning to stand from their chairs on all sides of the arena. But this buzz is immediately obliterated as Kanye West’s Diamonds Are Forever captures the Vegas air. [i] Diamonds are forever They won't leave in the night I've no fear that they might Desert me Diamonds are forever (forever, forever) Throw your diamonds in the sky if you feel the vibe Diamonds are forever (forever, forever, forever) The Roc is still alive every time I rhyme. Forever ever? Forever ever? Ever, ever? Ever, ever? Ever, ever? Ever, ever?......[/i] [B]BOOOOOOOOM![/B] Fiery white pyro explodes furiously in front of the twin video towers that display Crystal’s image. Between the smoky haze that fills the Roman style entrance way, Crystal emerges through the opened gates. Her icy blue eyes stare at the booing audience with immense disdain. COLE For the first time in four years Crystal steps into the OAOAST ring and she does it with the promise to retire the Women’s Title should she win it. Morgan is fighting not only for herself but for the entire OAOAST. Wearing black tights with diamonds on the side and a silver tanktop with her name emblazoned across the front, Crystal makes a confident stride down the entrance ramp. The look of disgust for the OAOAST Marks gathered for Anglemania never once leaves her face. BUFFER Hailing from Coquitlam, British Columbia, she weighs in at 150 lbs, the self proclaimed Crown Jewel of the OAOAST, she is a former OAOAST World Champion, she is CRYSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL! Crystal dives into the ring as boos trail her arrival. She steps onto the third turnbuckle and takes another fierce glare at an audience that continues to send hatred into the Vegas sky. COACH The lack of respect shown my BABY GURL~! is disgusting as all hell, Mikey. These suckas need to wise up and show love for the girl that paved the way for all the chicks in the OAOAST. The powerfully bombastic symbols of [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhJ7b4WJ9Ok"]“This Is How I Disappear”[/url] fight their way into the Cesar’s Palace arena The fans murmur with anticipation and glee over the petite danger that’s soon to make a gigantic presence. COLE Its that time! [i][color="#00BFFF"][b]GO! To un-explain the unforgivable, Drain all the blood and give the kids a show. By streetlight this dark night, A séance down below. There are things that I have done, You never should ever know! And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now[/b].[/color][/i] Booming bolts of electricity fall onto stage from the overhanging scaffold throwing sparks into the air and sending the roman guards scattering for their lives. The video towers fill with images of flashing electricity as the entrance stage lies carpeted with blue light. The scaffold sends its final bolt of electricity, the most powerful one yet! Ripping her way through the unguarded gates is the lethal champion, earning a large reception from the standing audience. Morgan wears a pinstriped booty shorted romper over her tiny frame. She chews on her blond hair nervously, and watches the crowd with the same frightened look they give her. COLE The Tiny Terror from Edmonton arrives into a second Anglemania! Unlike her first where she was the challenger, Morgan Nerdly arrives a tested challenger. But she faces an OAOAST Legend, and her toughest challenge yet. Crystal the female phenom. Morgan hurriedly moves down the entrance ramp, keeping her eyes on the ground and away from the vile stare of her challenger. BUFFER And the champion….she hails from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada! Prepare for Shock and Awe from MOOORGAAAAAAAN NEEEEEERRDDDDDDDLY! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” [i][color="#00BFFF"][b]Can you hear me cry out to you? Words I thought I'd choke on figure out. I'm really not so with you anymore. I'm just a ghost, So I can't hurt you anymore, So I can't hurt you anymore. And now, you wanna see how far down I can sink? Let me go, fuck! So, you can, well now so, you can I'm so far away from you. Well now so, you can[/b].[/color][/i] Morgan gets into the ring and stands on the first rope, while leaning over the second. She casts a quizzical glance at the audience, almost childlike in its odd innocence. COLE An all Canadian matchup here at Anglemania, sponsored by Little Cesar’s Pizza. [b]DING DING DING[/b] The contest begins with the upstart champion engaging in a lockup with the OAOAST legend. The battle is furious and spirited, as Crystal’s strength fails her, allowing Morgan to shove her into the ropes. The former world champion immediately demands a clean break, which referee Mike Chioda is quick to give her. Morgan backs away from her foe, nervously locking down her gaze upon the Canadian. Crystal buys herself time, stalking across the ring and looking out at the unreceptive Vegas audience. COLE Crystal taking a major gamble here in the gambling city of the world, trusting that her ring rust won’t complicate her title hunt. Crystal draws Morgan towards her with a lockup. But as Morgan approaches her, Crystal swings behind her to trap her inside a waistlock. Crystal attempts to lift the petite Nerdly girl into a German suplex, but the champion holds her ground. Even more frustrating for Crystal is when Morgan wheels behind her to acquire a waislock over her own. The audience cheers this as Crystal groans in annoyance. She soon groans in pain as Morgan takes her down with an amateur style throw. Morgan then swings to her front, attempting to lock Crystal’s head inside her arms. But this task is a failed one; Crystal grabs hold of Morgan’s arm and traps her inside an armbar. COACH That’s my girl! COLE I thought Lindsay Gonzalez was your girl. COACH They’re all my girls. COLE You wish! Morgan calls upon all her strength to begin pushing Crystal onto her back to create a pinning situation… ONE! TWO! Crystal is forced to kickout, a move that costs her her armbar as well. She scrambles to her feet, but soon finds the bare arms of Morgan circling around her head. Morgan wrenches at Crystal’s neck, but can’t hold her down for very long as she’s shoved to the ropes. However when she returns she’s able to catch Crystal off guard with a diving forearm! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” As that attack treated her so well, Morgan makes another run of the ropes. But on her bounce back her luck fails her with Crystal catching her with a DDT! “BOOOOOOOOO! All of Caesar’s Palace jeers with Crystal dusting her hands off in accomplishment. While the fans continue to deride her, Crystal picks Morgan up and shoots her into the ropes. Morgan’s thrown back and sent hurtling through the Vegas sky with a back body drop over the cables. Thankfully for the champion, she’s able to come down on her platform heels. An annoyed challenger rushes her, but gets a taste of one of those platform boots for her troubles. Morgan then slingshots herself over the top rope and connects with a body press onto her fellow Canadian. COLE Morgan’s showing no fear of Crystal. None whatsoever! Crystal comes to her feet, trying to shake the cobwebs lose and blocking out the Nevada sun with her hands. All this preoccupation leaves her to be struck with ferocious kicks from the champion. Crystal is hobbeled by these devastating strikes and Morgan is easily able to ensnare her in an inverted facelock. She lifts Crystal up for a Curtain Call type move, but finds that the challenger is a hard catch to keep. The former world champion slides herself out and quickly captures Morgan inside a rear waistlock. She shoves Morgan into the ropes expecting to gain an easy roll up. But the champion showcases impressive ring presence by latching onto the cables. This causes a very upset Crystal to roll backwards. When she stands she becomes even more nettled by little Morgan nailing her with a dropkick! COLE Beautiful dropkick from a beautiful champion. Morgan whips her hair away from her baby blue eyes and attempts a pinfall.. ONE! TWO! Crystal makes a timely kickout. “THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE!” COACH These idiots lost for thinking a dropkick would put away a former world champion in this day and age. COLE Stranger things have happened, especially in the OAOAST. Morgan brings Crystal towards her feet, merely to snapmare her back to the ground. An elbow almost finds its mark, but Crystal quickly slides out the way. Morgan holds her sore arm close to her stomach as she groans her agony. Unsympathetic to Morgan’s plight, Crystal yanks her upright and attempts an irish whip to the corner. But Morgan expertly reverses the hold, and its Crystal who crashes into the cold steel of the ring posts. Adding further problems for Crystal is Morgan smashing against her face with a body splash! COLE The OAOAST Galaxy watching on as these two beautiful and deadly combatants lock horns for the OAOAST Women’s Title. COACH It’s only a matter of time before MAH GURL~! Crystal kicks it into overdrive and overpowers Morgan. Morgan grabs onto Crystal’s arm and throws her into the opposite corner. After tossing her hair out her eyes, Morgan makes another dash to Crystal. But this time she’s caught by an elbow from the ultra talented challenger. Morgan stumbles backwards, her hands finding her sore jaw. She’s then knocked to the ground courtesy of a running lariat from Crystal. As Morgan huddles up in pain and fear, Crystal stands above her dusting her hands off. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Morgan finds her way back upright with relative quickness. Unfortunately all this does is allow her to be easily trapped inside a front facelock. Crystal then whips her backwards with a vertical suplex and floats over into a pinfall… ONE TWO! Morgan makes a last second kickout! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Frustrated with the kickout, Crystal hastily takes herself to the ropes. She returns wielding an elbow smash, but Morgan succeeds in gobbling her up into a small package. Chioda hits the mat to count the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Crystal rolls herself out the pin , causing the Nevada fans to strike her with jeers. Ignoring their hatred and cruel words, the former women’s champion slides herself beneath the ropes to the apron. Although slightly nervous, Morgan still follows her to the edge of the ring. She clamps down on her opponent in a front facelock and brings her to her feet to attempt a suplex. But the strength of Crystal wins out and she’s able to suplex Morgan to the outside! Morgan’s tiny body crashes in a broken heap on the blue Anglemania logo canvas, causing the front row fans to shriek in worry. COLE Oh my! COACH Oh yes! My baby is coming home with the gold. Morgan holds her knee and cries and pain, as Crystal leans over the ropes and yells at her to return to the ring. COLE Crystal’s a veteran she knows she can’t win the title by countout. Realizing that Morgan isn’t moving any faster, Crystal departs the ring to fetch her. Grabbing onto a pin stripped booty shorted romper Crystal lifts her up and throws her into the ring. She follows her inside and then drops a knee on the exposed part of Morgan’s stomach. A pinfall then follows…. ONE! TWO! Morgan throws her shoulder off the canvas! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!“ COLE Only two, but oh my, what a close two it was. Crystal and Morgan roll upright with Crystal taking shots at Morgan’s bare stomach. But the champion returns fire with painful intent, doubling Crystal over with elbow strikes. This allows Morgan to take Crystal into a standing head scissors. She then proceeds to wow the Anglemania audience with a deadly sitout powerbomb! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Big move from a little girl! Chioda counts the ensuing pinfall… ONE! TWO! Crystal lifts her shoulder off the mats to keep her title hopes alive. “THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE!” the fans tell the official. Morgan grabs onto Crystal’s short and curled hair and begins yanking her off the canvas. But she’s countered with a jawbreaker! Several kicks strike Morgan’s exposed chest and leave her wobbly and struggling to remain upright. The pressure is kept on the champion as Crystal throws her into the corner. The challenger then shoots in with a running lariat! But Morgan slides out the way, leaving Crystal to crash into the posts. The challenger stumbles backwards and finds herself thrown to the canvas by a running knee from the champion! “YEAAAAAAAA!” the fans cheer in delight as Morgan seems a little exhausted from Crystal’s earlier assault. Despite being the one attacked, Crystal is fast to her feet. She attacks Morgan with a bombardment of jabs before hooking her into a front facelock. She then signals for the end, which earns boos from the jam packed venue. But thankfully for them and Morgan, the petite Nerdly is able to stave off defeat with a release Northern Lights suplex! COLE I don’t think Crystal expected this tough a battle here in Vegas. COACH Its only a matter of time before her experience wins out over Morgan’s youth and fear. Coach may yet be proven correct as a running Morgan is upended over the cables by a back body drop from Crystal. “OOOOOOOOOH!” the fans recoil as Morgan is forced into a brutally agonizing landing on the outside mats. Morgan rolls into the guardrail, grabbing onto it in an effort to try and cope with the pain that shoots through her knee. COLE It looks like Morgan’s knee has again taken the brunt of the landing. Morgan tries to slowly climb back into the ring, but she’s struck back down by a right cross from her opponent. Morgan lands on her feet, but is hobbled by her aching knee. This permits Crystal with a chance to attack. And she capitalizes on it by leaping over the ropes and nailing Morgan with a body splash! COLE What a move by Crystal! The front row fans give Crystal a hearty thumbs down as she admires her handiwork. She then plants her black boots into Morgan’s leg, furthering the spread of pain through her leg. COLE That backbody drop took the wind out of Morgan and severely hurt her knee. I think the tide of this match may have changed and its possible Crystal may be retiring with that Women’s Title belt, sorry to say. Crystal gets the audience buzzing in anticipation as she climbs onto the third turnbuckle. She points to Morgan and makes a throat slashing gesture that gains boos from the fans. COLE I think a gesture like that should be an automatic fine. It has no place in the OAOAST. COACH You softer than burger buns, b. Crystal takes so long to execute any type of offensive attack that Morgan, weak knee and all, is able to make a slow rise onto the turnbuckles. This does not help her very much, however. Crystal greets her arrival with an anger driven round of elbows to the back of Morgan’s head. The champion whimpers as her head is violently snapped back and forth and a headache quickly settles in. COLE Crystal is just demolishing poor Morgan atop that turnbuckle. COACH That’s world champ know how, Mikey, shown by my baby girl. Crystal eventually hits Morgan with enough force to send her tumbling away. The injured champion lands stomach first across the top cable, bringing a smile to Crystal’s face. This smile widens as she leaps off the turnbuckle and smashes Morgan’s head with a guillotine leg drop! Morgan falls over to the canvas, wrecked by the pain Crystal has inflicted upon her. COLE A full extension by Crystal just drives that leg into Morgan’s head. Crystal pulls Morgan to the center of the ring and jack knives her for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! THR-NO MORGAN KICKSOUT! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE That was close! We were just a second away from seeing a new and possibly final OAOAST Women’s champion. Crystal rakes Morgan off the canvas and proceeds to pepper her with left jabs. But Morgan shows great fighting sprit and comes back with jabs of her own! Crystal then takes a swing with a haymaker but eats a spinning back first before she can connect with the attack. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans sing as Morgan limps to the corner. Fighting through the pain in her knee, the teenage champ begins working her way to the top rope. COACH I’m not sure this is a good idea for Morgan. COLE She’s taking a major risk. Morgan nervously chews on her hair as she settles herself atop the turnbuckles. Finally she flies forward with a body splash! But the former world champion slides out the way and Morgan lands with thudding splat onto the Anglemania logo canvas. “OOOOOOOOOOH!” the fans are none to happy to over Morgan’s catastrophic miss. As Morgan howls in agony, Crystal takes a moment to recollect her thoughts and breath. Leaving behind her suffering opponent to be attended to by Chioda, Crystal begins her own trek to the top rope. She makes another crowd angering throat slash gesture as a crippled Morgan makes her way to her feet. Crystal then flies forward with a body press that shoves Morgan to the ground! COLE A pinfall! ONE! TWO! Morgan pops out the pinall, bringing joy to all of Las Vegas! COLE I thought that might have been it. Crystal was so close to becoming an OAOAST champion once again. Crystal gets to her feet and takes a run to the ropes. Morgan begins standing upright, but this is a poor idea as Crystal shoots her body low to smack Morgan’s weak knee with a shoulder tackle. Crystal then slides on top of Morgan for a crucial pinfalll…. ONE! COACH New champ! TWO! Morgan throws her shoulders off the canvas, earning a great response from the audience. The frustration level grows for Crystal, and she angrily berates the referee for a perceived slow count. This allows Morgan to sneak behind her, hook onto her legs and school girl her to the ground… ONE! TWO! Crystal sldies out the pinfall, and continues her argument with Chioda. This time Morgan isn’t so kind in her offensive attacks. She grabs onto Crystal’s head and then rushes forward to drive her skull into the canvas with a bulldog! She looks painfully at the referee, almost as if she were asking if that was an ok move to execute. Receiving no rebuke, she decides to take a risk and begins a slow climb to the top rope. There she glances fearfully at the world around her. This moment of trepidation proves costly as Crystal pushes the ropes, causing Morgan to impale herself on the top turnbuckle. This leads a gloating Crystal to step up towards Morgan. She gives the champion an insulting slap in the face before throwing her backwards with a deadly belly to belly suplex! COLE Oh my! VINTAGE Crystal! Assuming that she has an easy three count, Crystal rolls Morgan onto her back for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! THRE----MORGAN WITH ANOTHER KICKOUT! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans scream as Crystal stares down the referee with an exasperated expression Crystal picks Morgan up and shoots her into a corner. Upon hitting the posts with tremendous force, Morgan staggers out towards the center of the ring. There Crystal grabs her neck and swings her around with a brutal necbreaker! Crystal then hooks both of Morgan’s legs for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Morgan kicksout! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans cheer as Crystal pounds the mat in rage. Grumbling to herself over her failed pinfall, she elevates to the top rope. “UP!” she screams at Morgan, and the littlest Nerdly girl does just that. With Morgan fully upright Crystal dives forward with a body press! But Morgan catches Crystal within her arms! With her weakened legs about to give out from under her, Morgan quickly shifts Crystal onto her shoulders. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans are well aware of what’s forthcoming. Morgan throws Crystal to her side and connects with the [b]Shock & Awe[/b] (F-U)! COLE She nailed it! She nailed it! An exhausted Morgan makes a pinfall attempt… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! COLE Yes! Yes! Yes! DING DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner and still OAOAST Women’s Champion….MORGAN NERDLY! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Morgan falls to the canvas, barely able to believe she’s made a successful title defense. For one rare moment in time a smile as bright as any sunrise appears on the relieved champion’s cute face. She giggles to herself, assured that the worst threat she’s ever faced has been vaniqushed. NOW I’M THAT [color="#FF0000"]BITCH[/color] NOW I’M THAT [color="#FF0000"]BITCH[/color] NOW I’M THAT [color="#FF0000"]BITCH[/color] NOW I’M THAT [color="#FF0000"]BITCH[/color] COLE What is this?! Receiving heat that burns as hot as the Vegas sun, [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/4771579f.jpg] [b]HOLLY[/b] and Josie Baker appear on stage. JOSIE Congratulations, Morgan Nerdly! You have once again won at Anglemania, and you’ve successfully retained your Women’s Title. But. COLE But? JOSIE But the OAOAST is all about unpredictability, aren’t we? And what’s more unpredictable than announcing Holly as the number one contender for the OAOAST Women’s Title? COLE Holly now set to meet Morgan perhaps this week on HeldDOWN or at the Motor City Spectacular. JOSIE I’ll tell you what’s more unpredictable than that! Her facing Morgan Nerdly right now for the OAOAST Women’s title! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” JOSIE Holly, I believe you have a title match to get to. HOLLY (Beep)in gladly. As the audience finds their loudest jeers of this contest, a smirking Holly finds her way to ringside. COLE This isn’t right. This isn’t right! Morgan is helped to her feet by the referee, but she can hardly stand. She leans against the ring posts, heavy hearted and bone weary. Holly hasn’t much sympathy for Morgan as she impatiently bounces on her army boots and demands the contest to begin. DING DING DING Holly rushes across the ring and fires off right hands against Morgan’s face. The champion can do little to defend herself, and clumsily topples over to the canvas. Holly sees this as her opportunity to strike gold, and eagerly makes a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Morgan fires her shoulder off the canvas, bringing relief to the hearts of the audience. COLE I can’t get over how unfair this is. Morgan is being screwed, and you know it, Coach. COACH Its unpredictable, baby, that’s what the OAOAST is all about! Furious over Morgan’s kickout, Holly uses her army boots to powerfully batter the younger champion. She targets Morgan’s head, leaving the young girl whimpering in anguish. Holly assumes that Morgan’s championship reign as at an end, and pulls her to her feet to bring upon its demise. She tightens her into a front facelock, grabs onto her left leg, and then swings her around for The Mirage! COLE Wrong hotel, right move as Holly goes for the cover! ONE! TWO! THRE-MORGAN KICKSOUT! “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” Holly holds up her two fingers, staring at them as she can hardly fathom how Morgan made her narrow escape. COACH You want to talk about something not being right, that’s not right that had to be three! Holly firmly agrees with Coach and expresses her disturbance in the most profane way she can imagine. HOLLY You mother(beep) (beep)sucking (beep) ass bastard! You (beep) better learn how to count to (beep) three you ignorant mother(beep) shithead! COLE Oh my! Holly rips Morgan off the canvas, and captures her inside another front facelock. HOLLY Vegas! Its (beep)ing over! With that announcement, Holly swings Morgan around and connects with a second Mirage! The referee falls into position to count the pinfall… ONE! TWO! THREE! COLE My god no! Holly leaps to her feet and throws her fist through the air in triumph, as Another Body Murdered cues up over sound system. BUFFER Your winner and new OAOAST Women’s Champion…..HOLLLYYYYYYYY! COLE My god what has happened here tonight?! Holly grabs the belt out the referee’s hand and [i]kicks[/i] him to the ground. She then falls to her knees and raises the title into the air, as Josie applauds with firm satisfaction on the entrance stage. COLE Let’s throw it up to our special guest interviewer Ryan Seacrest. [img=http://www.gossipcheck.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/ryan-seacrest.jpg] RYAN SEACREST stands on the entrance stage with a still applauding Josie. RYAN Josie, you look fabulous tonight. JOSIE That means a lot thank you. RYAN What motivated this decision to give Holly and immediate title shot? JOSIE I’m unpredictable, Ryan, just the same way the OAOAST is. Sometimes you have to shake up the status quo. I suppose that’s what I did. RYAN It had nothing to do with your personal grudge with Morgan? JOSIE It had everything to do with my grudge against Morgan. And I do mean everything. RYAN But is it fair? JOSIE Of course not! But life isn’t fair, and Morgan of all people knows that very well. Now, just enjoy the rest of the show, Ryan. You’re our guest, have a good time! RYAN I most certainly will! Michael, its all your’s. COLE Damn I wish I was his lover.

Also threw a promo in here you can put on whenever. Gotta have celeb apperances, 149! COLE Folks, its been a great Anglemania so far but right now lets send it back to special guest interviewer…HEIDI MONTAG! We throw it backstage where Celeberity Guest Interviewer Heidi Montag stands with Vinny Valentine of the Ghetto Groove Monkeys. HEIDI Hello, everybody I’m Heidi Montag and I am currently standing beside Vinny Valentine better known as the Disco Duck. I’d like to ask you how you feel about your match with Biff Atlas? VINNY Pow-pow-pow, go Vinny go-go-go! Backstage with a mama as fine as yourself and I ain’t even thinking of Biff Atlas. See, he’s a square, a chump, and a dweeb all rolled into one. He’s the Ultimate Square, the square all other squares aspire to be like! Vinny on the other hand is one cool hepcat. So what do how I feel about Biff? I feel he better run and hide under Melody’s daisy dukes, because I’m gonna whup his BUTT big time! HEIDI But he is your best friend. VINNY Is? He was my best friend. Vinny Valentine ain’t no friend to squares like that. He can take a hike to squaresville and cram his superhero junk with a sock. I put up with his crazy talk for a whole year. I’m mad as all heck about it, and I’m gonna do something pretty violent about tonight at Anglemania, baby! HEIDI Okay, well back to you! [b]QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK[/b] The sound of ducks quacking does in fact come from actual ducks, as a full flock of the waterfowl walks onto the Anglemania entrance stage. Like perfectly trained animals they line up in a row, patiently awaiting their human equally foul(lol) friend, Vinny Valentine. The groovy tunage of [i]Rock Your Baby[/i] summons out the Disco Duck, and the jeers drown out the quacking of the duck flock. This matters not to Brooklyn native, who’s legs, clad in glittering rainbow sequin pants, jive and dance with the funky beat. He performs a fantastic twirl, before dropping to his knees and pointing his left index finger toward the open sky. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of twenty minutes! Now making his way to the ring he hails from Brooklyn, New York and weighs two hundred twenty pounds! He is the Disco Duck….VINNNNYYYYYYY VAALLLLENTIIIIIINEEEEEE! COLE Vinny Valentine making his second Anglemania appearance and it comes against his one time friend Biff Atlas. A tough challenge for the Disco Duck. COACH Please. From Nutrition guru to superhero Biff Atlas is still a bitch. V-Squared’s name announcement is met with bile from the audience who all but turn their back on the OAOAST superstar. Vinny continues to reside in his own magical world, where he is king as he twirls to show off his outrageous tights. COLE Vinny wants to prove to the OAOAST Galaxy that he was the one that carried Panic! At The Disco to greatness. I don’t know what greatness he’s referring to but there it is. COACH There is none! And that’s Vinny’s point. The team was held back because of Biff. Vinny could’ve been so much more in the tag division and it’s the fault Biff Atlas that he wasn’t. Vinny slides into the squared circle where his latest twirl is met with more rage and disgust from Vegas. Finally getting the hint, Vinny merely resides in the corner to await his one time ally. He needn’t wait for very long however as a solemn faced Biff Atlas, clad in full on superhero outfit, appears on the entrance stage. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COACH Guys like Sandman, Bohemoth, Spencer Reiger, they’re booed out the arena but this idiot, and I can’t stress that word enough, is cheered? What is wrong with these people? Look at what this fool is wearing! My next door neighbor dresses like this. He’s eight! Biff marches to the ring, as stone faced, as he was when he made his first appearance. This battle hardened expression does little to intimidate Valentine who waves the Venice Beach native on. BUFFER And the opponent! From Venice Beach, California... he weighs two hundred and twenty pounds... BBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFF... AAAAAAATTLLLLLAAAAAAAASSSSSSS!!!! COLE Biff Atlas has come under the tutelage of Melody Nerdly from what we understand. COACH There’s a recipe for disaster if ever I heard one! That explains this moron’s outfit. It looks like someone threw up on Batman. This idiot. I hate him! [B]DING DING DING[/B] COACH Now look at Vinny, that’s style! That’s style and class, and its perfect for Anglemania! Biff Atlas has no business on this show while boys like The Hellfire Club sit on the sideline. The sparkling and bold Valentine points a finger at Biff and promises him defeat and destruction from the one man Disco Wrecking Ball. Atlas holds firm, refusing to be lured into fright from his one time best friend. “DISCO IS DEAD! DISCO IS DEAD! DISCO IS DEAD!” The cruel comments catch Vinny’s attention and he turns to the crowd to smear them with insults. This is Biff’s moment to strike, and he does quickly by hammering on Valentine with forearms to the back. COLE Biff getting the jump on Vinny Valentine! COACH A cowardly jump! Rip that mask off and show him what’s good, V-Squared! Already tired of being brutally pummeled, Vinny attempts to make a hasty get away. Unfortunately for him, he doesn’t make it more than a few inches before Biff shoves him violently into the corner posts. Still trying to save himself, Vinny raises his hands and pleads for a stoppage. Biff questions what he should do in the situation and turns to the audience, “BEAT HIS ASS! BEAT HIS ASS! BEAT HIS ASS!” Problematically for V-Squared that solves Biff’s moral quandary. The would be super hero winds up with a haymaker and takes a swing at Vinny. But The Disco Duck shoots bellow Biff’s attacking him and switches places with Atlas. A wide smile appears on Vinny’s face as he prepares to unleash a torrent of chops on his former partner. But this attack pattern never comes off as Biff grabs Vinny by the neck and throws him back into the corner. There will be no reprieve for Valentine. Not at this moment as Biff begins blasting him with powerful forearms to the chin. “BEAT HIS ASS! BEAT HIS ASS! BEAT HIS ASS!” Biff takes hold of Vinny’s arm and throws him to the opposite corner. He comes rumbling in after him, and raises his arms to strike Vinny in the chest with a powerful lariat! As the audience cheers the beating, Vinny staggers out the corner. He throws a few punches at an opponent only he can see and then topples over to the canvas. COLE I didn’t think it was possible but Vinny is actually faring worse than he did in his first Anglemania match. COACH No. The difference tonight is he hasn’t been attacked by the Kool-Aid man. Biff grabs onto Vinny’s heavily gelled hair, and uses it to pull the disco fanatic to his feet. Never one to give up on a bad idea, V-Squared again begs for Biff to ease up. No dice. Atlas devastates his foe with a left right combo that backs him back into the corner. Biff stays in the center of the ring and raises the roof. No one ever accused him of being up on pop culture. Regardless of his out of date commentary, Biff makes another dash at his old partner. But Vinny raises his sparkling legs and nails his opponent in the face with both his knees. COACH That’s the way, V-Squared. Bring yourself back into this match. You can’t lose to a fool in a six year old’s Halloween costume. Vinny climbs to the second rope, and blows a kiss to a now repulsed lady in the front row. Ignoring her poor reaction, Vinny flies forward and connects with an elbow to Biff’s head. The superhero falls over to the canvas, landing on his knees and dazed from the strike. This works to Vinny’s advantage as he comes off the ropes and punts Biff in the back of the head. Atlas falls back first onto the mat, leaving him open to an easy pin from V-Squared…. ONE! TWO! Biff pops his shoulder off the canvas. Its an action that puts a dour expression onto Vinny’s face. He picks Biff up and stuffs him inside a front facelock. The Disco Duck calls for a simple DDT, earning jeers from the jam packed Vegas crowd. He brushes them aside and expects to hit his hold. But Biff picks him up and whirls him around before slamming him into the ground with excellent force! COLE What a show of strength from Biff Atlas! COACH Lucky break, Mikey, lucky break. If the crowd hadn’t distracted Vinny, Biff’s brains would be splattered all across this ring. Biff falls atop Vinny for a pinning situation…. ONE! TWO! Valentine performs a kickout, deflating the previously enthused Atlas. He pulls V-Squared off the canvas and tosses him into the ropes. Rebounding, Vinny faces a back elbow from Atlas. He ducks bellow the attack, however, and comes up behind his heroic opponent. This allows him to reach backwards and latch onto Biff’s neck in hopes of hitting a neckbreaker. However, Biff captures hold of Vinny’s arms and brings his opponent down for a clever backslide pin attempt! ONE! TWO! Vinny hurriedly slides himself out the unexpected pinfall, and appears frightened over having been pinned. Both men then roll themselves upright at the same moment. Its Biff who attempts to draw first blood with a swinging lariat. But Valentine ducks the attack, and succeeds in executing his neckbreaker! Pleased with his performance, he bestows upon himself a round of applause. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Vegas loves their retro acts, but there’s no love for Vinny Valentine here in Sin City. Vinny grabs hold of Biff’s thickly muscled legs and bridges backwards to hurl him into the corner. Just as soon as Biff’s chest smacks against the posts, his head is struck by a running elbow from V-Squared. Things worsen for Atlas as Vinny brings him down with an inverted DDT. The Disco Duck then celebrates his respectable performance with some groovy disco dancing! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE See what I mean. COACH These people don’t appreciate authentic acts, only imitators. I bet if the real Elvis came and cut a track these cats would call him flabby, husky voiced, and a cheap dresser. Vinny lays into Biff’s sore head with stomps from his gator skin boots. Strangely, he grows mad at Biff when the boots become scuffed and takes it out on his former best friend with a knee drop to the top of his head. Biff grabs onto his skull in pain, as agony overwhelms him. The misery only grows worse when Vinny, aided by the ropes, kneels onto the top of his head. Referee Clem Buzzlefoxer begins a count on the illegal tactic. ONE! TWO! THREE! Vinny breaks the hold…merely to replay the hold for three more seconds! Once he’s forced to make a final break he mounts Biff and tags him with several powerful punches. These closed fists don’t go unnoticed by the 85 year old referee, and an annoyed Vinny is once again forced to break away from his tormenting of Biff. COLE The Disco Duck may have been “quacking”….heh….in his boots earlier in this match but its been all Vinny Valentine since then. Taunting Biff with lyrics from disco songs, Vinny begins scraping him off the canvas by his mask. But Biff heroically fights backs, peppering his foe with right hands. Biff manages to stun Vinny, and for that reason is able to take off to the ropes. When he returns, he flattens the Disco Duck with a powerful lariat! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Although dazed and hurt, Vinny stumbles back to his feet. But this is a monumentally bad mistake as Biff merely runs through him with another lariat! Feeling a surge of adrenaline Atlas turns to the Vegas sky and lets out a mighty roar! COACH I hate it when this idiot starts getting confident. No one gets more excited about executing the most simple of wrestling moves than that clownshoe Biff Atlas. Still seething with heroic fire, Biff attempts a third lariat on the Disco Duck. But Vinny counteracts that attack by kicking out Biff’s leg, dropping his opponent to the ground. VINNY Vegas! “BOOOOOOOOOO!” VINNY I want to put on my my my my boogie shoes just to boogie with YOU! As the Anglemania audience derides him with insults, a delighted Disco Duck takes to the ropes. Once he reaches his one time compadre he nearly takes off his head with a shining wizard! Biff topples backwards, his head ringing out in anguish. COACH Hahahah! Biff got a taste of those Boogie Shoes! I love it! Vinny hooks onto Biff’s left leg for a pinfall effort…. ONE! TWO! Biff brings his shoulder up and evades certain defeat. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Angered by Biff’s pinfall escape, Vinny pounds out the canvas in frustration. When finished with his mini-tantrum. Vinny begins bringing Biff off the mat. But Atlas finds a surge of energy and runs V-Squared all the way to the ring posts! There Biff thrills the capacity crowd as he devastates his adversary with shoulder strikes to Vinny’s thin midsection! “BIFF! BIFF! BIFF!” Unnoticed amidst all the joy and celebration, [b]Mariano[/b] has crawled from [i]beneath[/i] the ring to slip a pair of [i]golden[/i] knuckles onto Vinny’s hand. COLE Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Unaware of what’s transpired, Biff backs away from Vinny to set up grander attacks. That precise moment is when The Disco Duck flashes forward to strike with his gold covered hand. But Biff swiftly ducks the attack and poor Clem Buzzlefoxer is struck down in his stead. COLE That could spell the end for Clem! COACH After 85 years its long over due. Vinny couldn’t possibly care less about the injured official; instead his only focus is on destroying his one time friend. He lunges forward for another attack, but misses completely as Biff twirls him around with a spinning powerslam! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” the fans toss cheers into the open Vegas air. But a pinfall cannot be made without any referee. Realizing that the dear offical has suffered grave malaise, Biff does what any good superhero would do and checks on the injured elder. But this leaves him open to attack, and its [b]Quincy[/b] who strikes now, smashing him in the back with a steel chair! “BOOOOOOOOO!” the fans are teeming with fury as Luther and Waldo usher referee Mike Chioda down to ringside. The official reluctantly slides into the ring and makes an even more reluctant scoring of Vinny’s pinfall… ONE! TWO! [b]BIFF MANAGES A KICKOUT![/b] COACH Noooooooo! I don’t believe it! Neither can the Ghetto Groove Monkeys who freak out on the outside, while the fans celebrate with cheers. Vinny shushes them, wisely assuming that Biff’s time in this match has come to a violent close. He begins picking Atlas off the canvas, but suddenly Biff shoots to life and takes Vinny onto his shoulders! Vinny struggles to fight free of Atlas, but can not find the ability to break his bonds. Within moments the Disco Duck’s goose is cooked with a DVD into a Michinoku Driver! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the OAOAST Marks scream, as Biff reaches forward to grab Vinny’s legs for a pinfall... ONE! But the GGMs have Chioda distracted. COLE Damn it! However Buzzlefoxer heroically returns to action and scores the pin himself…. ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall…. Buffer’s announcement is interrupted by the disturbing sight of the GGMs flooding the ring and laying their tennis shoes to Biff! COLE This isn’t right! Not one bit! Vinny, despondent and enraged over the loss, quickly joins in. He takes grand pleasure in pounding at Biff, as Atlas screams bring a broad smile onto his sweat-drenched face. COLE Someone put a stop to this! That someone is MARV and MEL led by Melody Nerdly, and her bouncing breasts! The two brothers hit the ring and immediately lay waste to Marino and Luther. Quincy eats a Double Kickflip (dropsault) for attempting to attack the highflying duo. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Waldo is next to fall as he’s suplexed straight out the ring onto his partners in crime. But Vinny won’t be so easily disposed of as he wields a chair. Forgoing MARV and MEL, he turns his attention to Melody. The Nerdly girl begs to be spared, but the crazed look in Vinny’s eyes tell her that her fate will not be a kind one. However the chair is ripped out Vinny’s hands by Biff! Outraged, Vinny whirls around, only to be pounded in the head by the chair and sent flying over the ropes! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” The CAE thank Biff for saving their sister from sure doom. He sheepishly accepts their gratitude and even more sheepishly accepts his hands being raised in victory by the three Nerdlies.

Backstage Alix and Krista are seen walking down the hallway. Alix is scribbling down something furiously on a notepad. Krista as usual looks disinterested and pretends not to notice. ALIX I’m writing a cross word puzzle for OAOAST Magazine, Krissy! KRISTA OAOAST Magazine? Is that what they call toilet paper these days? ALIX You’re smart, give me some words or I’ll gut you good! What’s one for an activity so heart wrenchingly awful and mentally exhausting it is guaranteed to render your soul working beyond repair. KRISTA Watching HeldDOWN. ALIX The evolutionary clock ticking backwards? KRISTA Mardi Gras Hellfire Club. WALDO (OS) Daaaaaaamn! Craigslist been good to a nigga! LUTHER (OS) We came uuuuuuuuuuuup! Suddenly a roadblock in the form of the Ghetto Groove Monkey’s appears to hinder Alix and Krista’s progression. Normally they might be able to simply slide through the group, but the large stable has a stained, old mattress lying in the middle of the hallway. This highly annoys Krista. KRISTA Uh can we get by? Preferably without initiating conversation and/or eye contact. QUINCY Mmmmm, what have we got here. TONY Hey, Krista, they say if your palm is bigger than your head you have cancer. Krista holds up her palm…and smacks Tony with it. VINNY :lol: Served! MARIANO Ya’ll fools don’t know how to step to fine ass bitches like these. You gotta come correct, see. Ya’ll girls lookin’ so fly if you went to a funereal you’d have niggas in the casket busting nuts. QUINCY (massaging Krista’s arm) I know that’s right! KRISTA I guess I’ll be sawing my arm off tonight. ALIX Krissy, be nice. Special Ed children need extra love! I think its great you guys can walk around without supervision and your chinstraps and drool bibs. VINNY Quincy, left his at home. QUINCY Shut up, shorty punk ass! ALIX Hey, dudes, like, what have you got anyway? It looks like a mattress full of semen and pee stains from gay porn shoots. So I guess you got Christian Wright’s old mattress! MARIANO Hell naw! We got this off Craigslist, bucks fifty used! Sheets, pillows, blankets, all that. Don’t mean to brag but… WALDO Craigslist been good to a nigga! ALIX You bought a used mattress? Like, for all eight of you? Elton John in drag looks at that and says “damn, that’s pretty gay.” VINNY Lemme ask you a question. KRISTA Yes, you should all kill yourself in a ritual mass suicide. VINNY Lemme ask you another question! You don’t think that’s…kind of gross do you? KRISTA What could be gross about sleeping on another man’s dried semen? TONY FUCKING SHIT KRISTA! He only busted ten nuts! ALIX Sorry, dude, there’s a five nut maximum FCC regulation. QUINCY I forgot you the Hollywood hoes. We hip hop, hip hop ain’t hip without the hood, smell me. This hood right here, smell me. ALIX How can you say buying a used mattress that Christian Wright doo-dooed on for Theodore Moneymaker’s enjoyment, for all seventy of you is hood? WALDO We trynna keep it on a hip-hop steezy. But, America, don’t want real. America ain’t ready for the hood the way we bring it. QUINCY I smell you. KRISTA Say it with me you spent your collected life savings on a mattress some old guy came on, farted on, and most likely crapped on. VINNY That’s what I said! How do you know he wasn’t having orgies daily? How do you know he wasn’t a gay male pornstar? How do you know if he ate Mexican and forgot to wear his depends? What if? That’s the mattress you nimrods just spent one fifty on! I went from one idiot partner to five more! MARINO Yo, if yall chicks is Hollywood, send shout outs to our man George Jefferson. LUTHER Cuz we moving on uuuuuuuuppp! KRISTA You know what? Take this twenty dollars buy yourselves some Clorox and some Fabreze, and maybe that’ll keep the flesh eating bacteria from consuming you whole for a few weeks. With that Krista and Alix literally leap over the disgusting mattress and continue about their way

Just something to help you space out the show! COLE Folks, Saturday was our annual Anglemania Fan Mayhem where the OAOAST Galaxy converged on Ceasar’s Palace for the biggest party Vegas has ever seen! Let’s take a look! [size=5][B]OAOAST FAN MAYHEM[/b][/size] A montage of highlights from the event is played including superstars posing for pictures with fans, fans facing off against each other in OAOAST triva, Gilbert Arenas hosting a gun safety seminar, and pop starlet Ke$ha performing. Ned and Molly stand in the PictureZone posing for pictures. What else would they be doing at a PictureZone? MOLLY Its been an enlivening and enriching experience spending time with the fine OAOAST Galaxy. I honestly wish this were an opportunity that presented itself more frequently. Ned, do you share similar sentiments? NED You told me we were going to a titty bar. Jade Rodez-Duncan, sister Maya, and D*LUX are signing autographs at an autograph table. MAYA This would be pretty awesome, if I didn’t have a seven page paper on Merchant of Venice due on Monday morning 8:00 AM, and I’m on word three. Not page three. Word three. JADE Uh, yeah, its great. Everything is really cool. The people are so polite to. I think only four of them tried to grab my ass. TYLER Woah do we get to talk? We never get to talk! This is awesome! SHAYNE Say something intelligent, make us look smart. TYLER I like fans. SHAYNE Nevermind. Melody is at the No Homo station playing No Homo with an excited fan. The OAOAST Mark becomes even more excited when he succeeds in pinning Melody’s character MELODY No one beats me in No Homo! No one! (turns to security guards) Bake him away toys. GUARD What did you just say? MELODY Laughing out loud, yeah a Simpson’s reference….get him out of here!

~OAOAST Anglemania~ OAOAST WORLD TITLE: REJECT Vs MISTER DICK OAOAST TAG TEAM TITLES CHICKS OVER DICKS VS LDC MONEYGANG OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP MORGAN NERDLY VS CRYSTAL OAOAST SIX MAN TITLES CUCARACHA KINGDOM VS NATE BLACK AND THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND NON TITLE AFFAIRS SIN CITY STREET FIGHT THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS VS TEAM HEYROSS EIGHT MAN MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH VINNY VALENTINE VS BIFF ATLAS THIS SUNDAY!

-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- Cue::Motley Crue-Motherfucker of the year Here I am again, Hey now, hey now, I'm the motherfucker of the year. Here I am again, Hey now, hey now, I'm the motherfucker of the year. Golden pyro pours down from the ceiling, dancing across the entrance stage. The Angletron boasts highlights of Mister Dick’s triumph’s both professional as well as sexual. The entrance doors come apart and out steps The Human Hard On MISTER DICK at his side clad in a black corset and black denim is Malaysia. Mister Dick flexes his impressive muscles as he strides powerfully through the downpour of pyro. Unable to resist his eye catching physique, Malaysia’s hands obessess over his body, grabbing and fondling every inch they can get a hold of. COLE We are only three days away from Anglemania, and we are joined by the number one contender for the OAOAST world title, Mister Dick. And I bet Jock has a lot on his mind tonight. Certainly more than he has on his body, not that I mind one bit! Upon entering the ring, Mister Dick goes to the top rope to receive a raucous reception from the Rio Rancho audience. He fires them up with another showcase of his masterful muscles. Finally done with the audience, he retrieves a microphone. MISTER DICK Reject, boy, you wanna come out hear and tell your little jokes, play around with old Deadbeat Dave? Son, is that what you wanna do? Is that how you wanna play it days before Anglemania? Son, you better get real serious real fast, because its just days before I lay a whupping on your ass the likes of which you ain’t never seen before! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” MALAYSIA Mmmmmm, yeah. You tell ‘em, baby. You tell em exactly what’s going to happen to him at Anglemania. Tell him and turn me on. MISTER DICK Reject, what’s gonna happen to you at Anglemania is I’m going to march right into Las Vegas, Nevada, I’m going to look ya dead in the eyes, you’re gonna piss yourself like a little child, and then I’m gonna take my boot and Stiff Kick it across yer skull, boy! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” MISTER DICK And then I’m gonna Cock Block ya out the OAOAST world title, and Malaysia and I are gonna make out right above yer rotten carcass. MALAYSIA I think I like the sound of that. I can’t wait for Anglemania! MISTER DICK I can’t either, ‘cause Reject you got me madder than a pig without mud to roll in! I’m hoppin mad like a bar fight on a Tuesday night! Ya say ya gonna make me respect ya? Son, I ain’t got no respect for ya, and I ain’t gonna have none fer ya after Anglemania no neither! I disrespect everything about ya, son. From your stupid little stable, to yer stupid little tights, to your stupid little haircut, to your stupid little penis. “OOOOOOOOHHHHH!” MISTER DICK I think yer an all around piece of crap, son, and if Melissa’s vagina knew what was good for her she’d make it a threesome! MISTER DICK Yer fancy little stable wasn’t worth a pot to piss in before I got in it, and it ain’t worth a pot to piss in now that I’m gone “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” MISTER DICK Now, you think attackin Melody is gonna phase me? Boy, you just motivated me all the more to give you the beats. You gave me another reason to sink the god damn dagger into your title run. I ain’t gonna learn nothin’ about respectin ya at Anglemania, but yer gonna learn you can’t measure up to The Dick! “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” Suddenly the audience’s cheers evaporate and are replaced by heated boos. This is all due to the appearance of the world champion, situated in the arena parking lot, on the video screen. REJECT You talk a good game, Jock. I’m very entertained. But as we all know its just talk. Entertaining talk, but its still talk. I don’t think…no, I know you don’t have the balls to back up what you say. You ought to change your name, Jock. Maybe go from Mister Dick to something like Mister Pussy! “OOOOOOOOOH!” the fans react as they watch Mister Dick fume inside the ring. He paces back and forth, trying his best to control his anger. REJECT Do you think differently? Does Mister Dick believe he’s truly got a set? Is Mister Dick’s bite as bad as his bark? You come prove it to me then, Jock. You’re as tough as you say you are? Well then, I’ll be in the parking lot, waiting for you to come and prove it. Let’s see if you got the guts. The video feed cuts off, leaving only Mister Dick teeming with furious fire in its wake. He clenches his fist and shouts profanity at the screen, demanding Reject come to face him. COLE Reject threw down the gauntlet; will it be picked up by Mister Dick? We’ll find out on HeldDOWN~! COMMERCIAL

Our scene is a… PARKING LOT. Entering the lot is Mister Dick, clad in a green tank top and jeans. Anger fills his face, and his knuckles are taped. He’s clearly ready for a fight. MISTER DICK Reject! Reject! Wear ya at, boy? You wanna see if I got balls? I’m about to slap them across yerr face, son! Mister Dick looks around furiously, his eyes demanding Reject’s appearance. MISTER DICK Come on! Come out, ya yellow tailed piece a trash! From the opening door of a Mercedes Benz REJECT appears. REJECT Hi, Jock. Glad to you see actually showed up. I guess I’ve got to hand it you, buddy. MISTER DICK I ain’t yer buddy. REJECT You do indeed have balls. But I have friends. MISTER DICK What do you mea- Before Mister Dick can even finish his thought, he’s struck in the back with a kendo stick by Sandman! Mister Dick crumples to the floor, leaving ThunderKid able to plant a nasty kick into his midsection. REJECT You never learn, Jock! This is your fault, you did this to yourself! Your blood is on your own hands, not mine! Elsewhere Arturas has barred the door, preventing any help from coming to Mister Dick. The rest of the Deadly Alliance then pummels The Human Hard On with brutal stomps, rendering him a bloody carcass. REJECT Through the window! Put him through the window! Now! THUNDERKID You're the boss. Smiles appear on Sandman and TK’s face as they bring a dazed and wounded MD to his feet. Without hesitation or thoughts to their conscience, they throw Mister Dick forward and send his head crashing through the Benz’s driver side window! MD’s body goes limp with pain as the pack of dogs hovers around him. Reject leans closest and shouts his bile into MD’s face. REJECT You will respect me! You will respect me! You will respect me! FADE OUT

Backstage we go as Terry Taylor peeks inside the dressing of COD. Through the crack we see Krista pacing uncontrollably while clutching the granny dress put on her earlier, Alix’s attempts to calm her down unsuccessful. * KNOCK, KNOCK * ALIX & KRISTA TAYLOR Guys, it’s me. Can I get a word? KRISTA TAYLOR Krista charges forward and drags Terry in. KRISTA Didn’t your mother always tell you to be a good egg? TAYLOR (strained) Yes. KRISTA Obviously CMJ and Spencer weren’t told because they turned out rotten. First they try to cut our hair. And now tonight they force their grandmother’s wardrobe on us?!? Either they have some twisted GILF fantasy they wish to play out or they’re trying to get us to crack hours before the tag title match at AngleMania. TAYLOR Psychological warfare in other words? Krista gags Terry with the granny dress. KRISTA I’m banking on the former because everybody who’s tried to make us crack has failed. ALIX Except for that one time, but that was eons ago. KRISTA But you know, everybody has a fantasy. ALIX Future Mrs. Krista Isadora Duncan! KRISTA My fantasy used to involve throwing Ned off a moving train, but now that we’re on speaking terms again I don’t want to anymore. So I came up with a new fantasy. ALIX Me, you, Academy Award-winner Charlize Theron, supermodel Alessandra Ambrosio, Maggie Gyllenhaal and pre-milkaholic Lindsay engaged in a wild sunset beach orgy? KRISTA Oh, that does sound nice… but no. I fantasize about CMJ and Spencer Reiger in dresses! And with AngleMania taking place in the gambling capital of the world, it only makes sense to put up a little wager. So why don’t we have the loser wear a dress for 30 days? According to the LDC Moneygang, we don’t stand a chance anyway. They might as well amuse us by accepting the wager. (glances at Terry) It looks like you have something to say. Do you? Terry nods and Krista removes the dress from his mouth. TAYLOR I’m told my colleague Tony Brannigan has tracked the LDC Moneygang down. Let’s go to him right now. We cut to Brannigan with the LDCMG and Theodore Moneymaker backstage where their limo awaits. BRANNIGAN You guys heard what COD had to say. Your response? REIGER You mad COD? All we did was make sure you came looking your best for our date at AngleMania. The LDCMG and Moneymaker laugh. CMJ As far as their challenge goes, you damn right were accept. It adds intrigue to a foregone conclusion. And when our hands are raised in victory, not only will COD have to wear something more their age… they’ll have to step into the kitchen and cook us a nice hot meal. MONEYMAKER How do you guys like your steaks? CMJ Medium rare. REIGER I prefer well done. Just like COD will be done at AngleMania. MONEYMAKER