Patty O'Green

I need two towering video screens at both sides of the entrance stage, and an overhanging scaffold over the angletron and a fountain needs to surround the entrance ramp. That is all! Yo if ya'll dudes have cbs college sports network turn it on, some fine ass bitches playin hoop right now, yessuh

Just to let brehs know, I've been posting the shows at the OaOast Network?. We'll probably need to upgrade that board at some point. But I'll pay for all that when the time comes.

Now this was an incredibly strong show! Posted on a Thursday at that! Great job, everybody. Really good stuff here, I suggest reading it right away if you haven't yet.

I got it! US Title Alix Maria Spezia Vs Colin Maguire Junior

Probably a match with Collin

MITB qualifier: CPA vs Denzel Spencer, if its okay by Alf. I'd do another one but I already forgot who's in the darn thing :sadpatty:

We return to ringside as “Thriller” by Fall Out Boy cues and Baron Windels jogs down the aisle slapping hands. BUFFER The following NON-TITLE match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied by fellow Citizen Soldier TIM CASH… from San Antonio, Texas, weighing 265 pounds… “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BBAAAAARRRRROOOOOOOOOONN WINDELS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BW poses on the middle turnbuckle. COLE About set to go with a grudge match between Baron Windels and OAOAST World Champion Reject. COACH It seems BW is a little butt hurt over the comments made last week by the World Champion. COLE They say the truth hurts, but what Reject said last week was false. Baron isn’t weak, he just strongly believes in giving somebody a second chance. “Final Ride” by TRU hits as the stage is lit silver for the World Champion’s entrance. BUFFER His opponent, accompanied by fellow DEADLY ALLIANCE member THUNDERKID… from the Bronx and weighing in at 230 pounds, the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… RRRRRREEEEEJECT!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE This is of course a non-title match, but the title will be on the line when Reject defends against Mr. Dick at AngleMania IX, Sunday night, March 28 live exclusively on pay-per-view. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Mr. Dick sprints down the aisle but is quickly swarmed by OAOAST officials. COACH Speak of the devil. COLE Mr. Dick doesn’t want to wait until AngleMania. He wants Reject now. COACH We’ll be looking for a new challenger if that happens. Reject maintains a safe distance from MD, opting to let OAOAST officials handle the situation. BW decides to take matters into his own hands and tosses Reject inside. * DINGDINGDING * Staggered by Cowboy Bebop elbows, Reject is whipped across for a BAAAAAACK body drop! COLE Baron Windels doesn’t look so weak now, huh, champ? BW plays to the crowd before hammering Reject in the corner. ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN!!! Reject wobbles out and gets clobbered by a boomerang lariat! COLE MySpace Comeback! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Reject reverses a whip but charges into a BIG BOOT! BW signals for a BULLDOG, but Reject uses BW’s momentum to CROTCH him on the middle turnbuckle! BARON COACH Say hello to the newest member of the OAOAST glee club, Cole. He’ll be hitting those high notes with ease after that. Reject drags BW away from the corner and stomps the holy hell out of him, all while shouting “DICK! DICK! DICK!” COACH The World Champion sending a message to his opponent at AngleMania, Mr. Dick, Cole. Reject executes a snap suplex, followed by a knee to the throat. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! The champ rams BW into the buckle and capitalizes with a series of RVD-style kicks, but BW fights back. Sent for the ride, Reject leapfrogs BW and clotheslines him on the top rope ala Randy Savage! COLE Vintage Reject! Reject poses on the apron before delivering a MISSLE DROPKICK! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Reject places BW in a headlock as Tim Cash rallies the crowd behind his partner. Meanwhile, Mr. Dick is seen viewing the match backstage on a monitor. “BARON!” “BARON!” “BARON!” Fueled by the support, BW fires a round of back elbows to escape Reject’s clutches only to run into a knee to the gut. Reject lifts BW to his feet for a GERMAN SUPLEX, but BW counters with a RUSSIAN LEGWEEP! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Too weaken to make the cover, BW uses the ropes to pull himself up and shakes off the cobwebs. He and Reject then come to blows, with BW getting the better end of it. Thumb to the eyes puts a stop to BW’s momentum, and then Reject looks to put him on his back courtesy of a FISHERMAN’S BUSTER… but BW floats over and hooks reject for the BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL DDT. COLE If Baron hits this it’s all over. But he doesn’t thanks to a LOW BLOW! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Chain reaction. COLE Chain reaction my ass. That was a deliberate low blow. Reject then delivers BW’s EULOGY~!!! The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here is your winner… THE OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… RRRRRREEEEEEJECT!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" His arm raised in victory, Reject stuns everyone by offering Tim Cash a handshake. COLE Are you kidding me? COACH Who says Reject is a bad guy? Like the good guy that he is, Cash accepts and receives a EULOGY!! COLE That right there! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Unable to hold back any longer MR. DICK storms the ring. He decks TK and chases after Reject, only for SANDMAN9000 to take him down. Reject then goes to grab a STEEL CHAIR as TK and Sandman put the boots to MD. COLE We’re running low on time, ladies and gentlemen. And we have a brutal assault taking place in the ring. BW struggles to his feet and gets jabbed in the gut by the chair, then walloped across the back. Reject’s sights next turn to Mr. Dick whose arms are restrain by Sandman and legs spread by TK. COACH This takes busting somebody’s balls to a whole new level, Cole. Reject cocks the chair. COLE And we’re out of time! © 2010 OAOAST Entertainment All Rights Reserved. MR. DICK FADE TO BLACK. COLE OH, MY!

-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- We travel to Sofa Central where our announce team, wearing Anglemania football jerseys, sits in an area decorated to celebrate the upcoming PPV event. COLE Welcome to St.Louis everybody! Welcome to OAOAST HeldDOWN~! I’m Michael Cole sitting alongside Johnathan Coachman. On a night where the world champion Reject will face Baron Windels we have one heck of an exciting show on hand for you tonight. Cue: Stunning the sold out audience, Maya Duncan-Blanchard arrives onto the scene. Even more odd than her solo appearance is that she’s dressed to fight in grey Abercrombie track pants and a white “D*LUX” t-shirt. COLE This is most certainly unexpected. Maya Duncan-Blanchard out here on her own. But for what purpose? Maya walks down the ramp with purpose in her step. She enters the ring and quickly procures a microphone. MAYA Hi, Saint Louis! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” MAYA Odd. You cheer me when I say hello, but my own sister gives me the finger. Maybe that’s because I always follow up hello with a combination of the word fat and ass. Anyway, onto business. Last week Spencer Reiger did the unthinkable! He did the unimaginable! He did the unbelievable! He tipped over my bake sale and chili table and ruined the entire thing. “BOOOOOOOOOOO!” MAYA I know, right! My school counts on that money! Just because we’re all from Beverly Hills doesn’t mean we have cash growing out of our ears and credit cards up to our arm pits. The school depends on that money so we can have field trips, top notch facilities, and great sports program. And I was the one who everyone was depending on! “Oh Maya, she can get it done, if anyone can do it its Maya” “Maya’s great she’ll raise all the money the grade needs” Well there I was on Monday morning explaining why I raised less money than Trent Kirkwood, the kid who’s famous for eating baloney and worm soup. I was also trying to raise money for the earthquake victims of Chile. I know you don’t care about anyone that’s not staring you back in the mirror, Spencer, but those people need all the help you can get. I was raising money for them, so they could survive, and you took that away from them. You know that makes you? A big stupid jerk! “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” MAYA Spencer, what you did was like forearming Orville Redenbacher, or rock bottoming Betty Crocker, or pimp slapping Aunt Jemima, or superkicking Mrs.Butterworth. So I’m a wee bit pissed off. Just a wee bit. And if you’re ticked off like I’m ticked off throw your hands in the air and scream Spencer sucks! “SPENCER SUCKS! SPENCER SUCKS! SPENCER SUCKS!” MAYA Darn tootin! HeldDOWN is a two hour show, so the way I kinda see it is that I’ve got two hours to wait on Spencer Regier. Because I am officially calling Spencer out, and if you want to see Spencer get his BUTT beat like he owes me money, lemme hear another Spencer Sucks chant! “SPENCER SUCKS! SPENCER SUCKS! SPENCER SUCKS!” MAYA Spencer go ahead and hurry up, because the only thing that’d get me out of this ring is if someone dropped an atomic bomb on me. My name isn’t Hiroshima, so I don’t see that happening any time soon. Now does anyone have a diet root beer for Maya Duncan-Blanchard? As the fans cheer, Maya is passed a cooler of root beer and a chair to sit in. She takes a seat and pulls out a root beer. MAYA (in game show voice) Spencer Reiger you are our next contestant, cooooooome on doooooooooown! “SPENCER SUCKS! SPENCER SUCKS! SPENCER SUCKS!” MAYA Spencer, I’ve got plenty of time and plenty of root beer. “SPENCER SUCKS! SPENCER SUCKS! SPENCER SUCKS!” MAYA I swear to god if I have to come back there…. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” To Maya’s shock and a little bit to her consternation, Krista and Alix make their way to the ring, Krista pats her daughter on the head in sympathy as Alix gathers a pair of microphones. KRISTA Maya, sweetie, calm down. Its okay, mommy is going to take it from here. MAYA But mom! KRISTA (sternly) Maya. MAYA I was gonna lay the smackdown on his roody poo candy ass! KRISTA Never talk like that again. Ever. MAYA I was just turning my swag on. Ease up on a sistah. Dang. KRISTA Spencer Reiger, we seem to have half of St.Louis telling you, you suck… “SPENCER SUCKS! SPENCER SUCKS! SPENCER SUCKS!” KRISTA And the other half wondering what the hell is a Spencer Reiger. ALIX Lesson time! A Spencer Reiger is more commonly referred to as a douchebag, characterized by being a complete waste of sperm and egg! “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” KRISTA Spencer, you’ve been flying under my radar for quite sometime. I apologize that I haven’t made sufficient enough time to give you the proper humiliating and castration you so richly deserve. Tonight, honey, I’m going to make up for lost time. Because you and I are going do a little dance and I’m not talking about the Charleston I’m talking about wrestling…that line sounded better in my head. Much much better actually. Regardless, you can accept my kind challenge to a friendly athletic competition or….there’s a nice little river near by I’d be happy to throw your mangled body into. Just make up your mind quickly; I’ve got a lot to do today. Such as discuss my and Al’s time at the Oscars. I decided to go with something classy, yet sexy, a sensual touch with a bit of spunk. Designed by none other than Versace. Alix on the other hand chose to wear something that look like a Pizza Hut table cloth. Ryan Seacrest quipped “did someone order a personal pan pizza?” He’s a great guy, I love him. Now, the person we were most eager to meet was Anna Kendrick of blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah As Krista rambles on and on about the Oscars we fade to commercial. Thankfully. TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT GRUDGE MATCH REJECT Vs BARON WINDELS TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT COMMERCIAL

COLE Apparantly, we're being told that our cameras are outside. And they believe they've caught up with Leon Rodez. Lets go back there, see what's going on. Out in the St Louis streets Josh Matthews is heading off in pursuit of someone in the distance, microphone in hand. The cameras approach the figure hunched over in the distance and find Leon Rodez, hidden under a black hoodie, sat on the edge of the pavement. MATTHEWS Leon! Leon... what are you doing out here? Glancing out from under his hood Leon glares at the camera and puts his head back down. LEON I'm not doing a thing. MATTHEWS Well, where have you been these past few weeks? And why are you sitting in the dirt? The show's inside, we've been going for about 45 minutes already.... LEON I don't care about your 'show'. I don't care about your cameras. I don't care about this interview time you're apparantly giving me. Leon peels back his hood and looks fairly bedraggled. His hair is a mess and there are bags under his eyes. LEON As of now, I'm not a part of this show anymore. So you're wasting your time. You want to know where I've been? Blame Josie Baker. I am an outcast. I am being denied what is mine... a shot at the OAOAST World Title... the only thing in that arena worth my time and effort. Until I get what I want, the OAOAST do not get me. Call this a strike. Call it a protest. I don't care. Until Josie Baker treats me fairly and gives me my title shot, I am boycotting the OAOAST. No matches... no interviews... nothing. If Josie wants to sue me for breach of contract? Fine. Money is immaterial to me. There's only one thing Josie can do to get me back inside. And she knows exactly what that is. You won't see me inside an OAOAST building until I am sure my demand is met. End of story. MATTHEWS But, Leon, you realise that Anglemania is less than two weeks away, don't you? The biggest show of the year. Looking unconcerned by this, Leon merely shrugs his shoulders. MATTHEWS Okay. Well, what about Morgan? You realise that she's being targetted by Crystal, who you've got a history with yourself. What about Morgan? LEON ...Morgan can handle herself. MATTHEWS Can she? I don't know, Crystal is... LEON Morgan's problems are Morgan's problems. She'll understand. Leon puts his hood back up and shuts Josh off, leaving the interviewer to wisely give up. MATTHEWS Alright guys, I don't think we're going to get much more out of Leon here. Back to you.

PRL PROMO/SKIT

Returning from commercial we're shown an image of the gateway arch “The World is Mine” by David Guetta blasts through the speakers as Spencer Reiger walks down the aisle. BUFFER The following special challenge match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied by COLIN MAGUIRE, JR. and the Chief Executive Officer of THE ENTERPRISE, THEODORE MONEYMAKER! Hailing from Manhattan, New York, one-half of the ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS… "THE ONE MAN TRIPLE THREAT" of looks, skills and charisma... SSSSPPPEEEEEEEEENNCCCCCEEEEEEERRRRR RRRREEEEEEIIIIIIIIIGGEEEEERRRRRRR!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The tag team champions let the fans know how they feel in their own special way. COACH Get a good look at Spencer Reiger, Cole, because that’s a future World Champion. COLE Tonight he gets to go up against a former World Champion in Krista. COACH And he’s gonna make her eat her words. Krista might not even make it to AngleMania when tonight’s said and done. Give me those bright lights, long nights High rise, over time “On Top of the World” by the Pussycat Dolls cues and the crowd goes crazy. BUFFER And his opponent, from Los Angeles, California… her list of accomplishments include being a member of the Hollywood Walk of Fame, the 2009 Wrestler of the Year, best selling author, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos and games. Accompanied by her daughter MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD and ALIX MARIA SPEZIA… presenting one-half of the wildly popular Chicks Over Dicks tag team and former OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the World… KRISTA ISADORA DDUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Maya handles the hand slapping as Krista power walks to the ring. COLE I wouldn’t want to be Spencer Reiger right now. COACH Yeah, because you’d be force to make physical contact with a girl! Krista charges after Reiger who hides behind the referee. Instructed to back away, Krista reluctantly does so. * DINGDINGDING * The bell sounds and both competitors circle around. Maya unexpectedly gets involved taking a swipe at Reiger’s feet. Reiger retaliates with a kick that thankfully misses, but Krista doesn’t with a REVERSE X-FACTOR! COLE Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey. It’s the big one! The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! CMJ/MONEYMAKER COLE COACH The hell just happened?!? * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match in near record time… KRISTA ISADORA DDUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Alix and Maya jump in the ring to celebrate with Krista, a celebration cut short when CMJ and Moneymaker strike. COLE Hey, come on! The match is over, damnit! COACH That’s what they get for rubbing it in, Cole. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Krista shoves Maya outside for her protection. Meanwhile, LORELEI DECENZO appears on the scene with a pair of SCISSORS. COLE Now what? Alix is struck by the CAMBRIDGE CURSE and then Krista receives a SPIKE REIGER COUNTER! MONEYMAKER Guys, it’s time to give our friends a proper haircut. Reiger tosses strands of Krista’s hair in the air following every snip. COLE This is sickening! OAOAST officials rush the ring but CMJ and Moneymaker keep them at bay, prompting Maya to JUMP on Reiger’s back and CLAW HIS EYES! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Whaaa…? COLE You go girl! Reiger snaps her over and the LDCMG move in. COLE Don’t you do it. Don’t you guys lay a hand on her. She’s just a kid! COACH Aren’t COD for equal rights? Well, CMJ and Reiger plan on treating Maya just like they would a man. Alix returns with a STEEL CHAIR in hand to chase the gang away. Moneymaker and the LDCMG proud of a job well done. COLE The carnage is over… but the damage has been done. COMMERCIAL

We swoop over to OAOAST Original Tony Brannigan atop the world famous interview stage. BRANNIGAN Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the promoter of the only rock ‘n’ wrestling band that matters… COLONEL ABDULLAH NERDLY! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The Colonel happily makes his way out to a chorus of boos. COACH Please welcome? Doesn’t Brannigan know we’re in St. Louis? A man like the Colonel isn’t welcomed here or pretty much anywhere in North America. Bunch of bigots! COLE Oh please, like that young man’s attitude has nothing to do with it. It’s no wonder he jumped on the Heavenly Rockers tour bus. They were made for each other. The Colonel kisses Brannigan on both cheeks, much to his surprise. BRANNIGAN Sorry to inform you, Colonel… Valentine Day’s passed. But let’s get to the reason why you are here. It’s all because of what occurred on this very program 2 weeks ago. OAOAST FLASH!BACK ABDULLAH BRANNIGAN Abdullah Nerdly, you’ve gotta be one sick individual to find any humor in that. A man was nearly disfigured for life! ABDULLAH I laugh not at the pain of suffering of one man, but the notion it was intentional. That fireball was meant for Krista Isadora Duncan, as the video clearly proves. Quentin Benjamin was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Abdullah is suddenly spun around and floored by CHARLIE MOSS! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" MOSS Funny, so were you. Moss exits back through the crowd. COLE Charlie Moss of Team Heyross with a little payback for what happened to Quentin Benjamin. COACH That's 10 times worse than what the Colonel did, Cole. Unlike the Colonel, Moss did this on purpose. COLE Abdullah's lucky he only took a punch to the jaw. The action continues in just a moment. COMING UP NEXT CHILD WARFARE KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS SPENCER REIGER NEXT! COMMERCIAL

We are in the glorious interview lounge TERRY Wow! I can't believe I am hear in the interview lounge with former world champion Crystal. Wow, this is amazing! This is an honor! This is stupendous! Crystal, Crystal, Crystal! CRYSTAL Get a hold of yourself, Terry, before I have to have you restrained. Freak. TERRY Woah, I get enough of that with the new leash Alix bought me. CRYSTAL Pathetic. TERRY What brings you back to the OAOAST? CRYSTAL What brings me back? A very desperate woman named Josie Baker. Like the old saying always go, desperate people do desperate things. I guess you could consider a nice seven figure contract a desperate thing. TERRY Josie gave you that much? CRYSTAL Of course she did! She’s got a problem, a very nasty one, and who better to solve it than the first female to ever win an OAOAST world championship. Of course fine gems like myself don’t work cheap, you do know that. TERRY Did you come back only for the money? CRYSTAL Well now, I’d by lying if I said the briefcase full of cash wasn’t a big motivator. But the other reason I came back is because of the fans. TERRY The OAOAST Marks, you still have a soft spot for them don’t you? CRYSTAL No! I came back because the fans are something I despise. They’re fickle idiots. Forgetful morons. Lambrained baboons! I can think of numerous names for them and they all tell the same story. TERRY What’s that? CRYSTAL That the OAOAST Galaxy has forgotten the name Crystal. No one seems to remember I’m the woman who took Axel to the limit, humiliated Zack Malibu, embarrassed Leon Rodez, ran through that generic lunkhead Hoff. They don’t remember that, and they don’t even care to try! They have their new obsessions, Alix and Krista, all these airheaded Nerdly girls. They’ve all taken the place of Crystal. No one wants to celebrate what I’ve done, no one even remembers it! Its pathetic! I deserve better! I’m an OAOAST legend, don’t you get that? I’ve made history! By beating Morgan Nerdly, at the biggest show of the year, I’ll etch Crystal back into the minds of the OAOAST. TERRY What do you think about Morgan? CRYSTAL I think she’s a sad little girl, that’s in way over her head. This is a mean business and someone like her has no place in it! She needs to be coddled and held, but instead she’s a prime target and everyone wants to take her out. But, don’t expect me to show any sympathy for her because of her condition. Josie’s not paying me for sympathy. I am poised to unleash a reign of terror over Morgan Nerdly. All in the name of my legacy. You think you have problems, Morgan, but your problems have just begun. Do you actually think you can stop me? Don’t you realize there’s some flames tht can’t be extinguished. I’m one of them. Soon you will realize that I am your worst nightmare. I will show you just how serious I am with my threat. Morgan your title will be mine. And when it does I will retire it, and go down as the greatest female performer in OAOAST history. TERRY Thank you for your time, and we'll see you at Anglemania. ANGLEMANIA IX WOMEN'S TITLE MORGAN NERDLY VS CRYSTAL OAOAST TAG TEAM TITLES CHICKS OVER DICKS VS LDC MONEYGANG OAOAST WORLD TITLE MISTER DICK VS REJECT

"Virgin Island Thunder" Victor Perez MATCH

We return from commercial break focused on a Sofa Central bathed in purple and red lights. COLE Now, we've been passed some reports in the minutes leading up to this show that a number of fans have spotted Leon Rodez, outside the Scottrade Center. Apparantly he was just seen wandering around outside the arena. Now, we haven't seen Leon Rodez since Anglepalooza, where he failed to win the Lethal Rumble of course and we're told that nobody backstage has reported seeing Leon inside the building. So we hope to follow up on that development during the course of this show. In the meantime, let's take you backstage to Josh Matthews. Josh? In accordance with their new name and line-up, the Cucaracha Internacional locker room has been transformed into the Cucaracha Kingdom castle! A plush purple carpet lines the room, a deep red wallpaper scheme with lots of gold ornaments and design features around the room. And overlooking all of this, two regal thrones. One seating Queen Esther, next to her new King, Landon Maddix. Landon wears his purple robe but has the crown sat next to him for now. Stood on either side of the thrones are Faqu and James Blonde, and the Mardi Gras Hellfire Club. MATTHEWS Ladies and gentlemen, joining me at this time, Landon Maddix... BLONDE King Landon! King! Say it! MATTHEWS Sorry. King Landon and Queen Esther. Landon gets a smug look on his face and gazes off into the distance. MATTHEWS Last week was the big coronation ceremony to crown you as 2010 King Of The Ring and quite frankly, it turned into complete chaos. And most of it seemed to be your doing Landon. BLONDE King Landon! MATTHEWS ...King Landon. KING LANDON Joshua, all that happened last week was a glorious occassion. Great celebration. I finally arose to my throne, to rule over the OAOAST. That is all that really matters. Now, granted, a couple of ungrateful, unworthy, unloyal subjects tried to ruin my big moment and they almost achieved it. But in the end, the Cucaracha Kingdom is stronger for having overcome that setback. Last week myself and Queen Esther announced our coming together as an alliance. And we've sorted the nobility from the disability, to create the impossible... the IMPOSSIBLE!... a unit even STRONGER than Cucaracha Internacional were. MATTHEWS A unit which doesn't involve The Last Kings Of Scotland. QUEEN ESTHER Brutes! Heathens! Oh, how at ease I feel not being in the presence of those boarish thuggards anymore! With their shocking haircuts, their foul mouths, their terrible table manners. They way they would throth at the mouth like wild dogs. It would make my face red with shame. Why, they are nothing more than beasts! And a Queen should not be surrounded by beasts! In the background, Faqu snorts. KING LANDON A lady with such beauty and such a fine heart like Queen Esther should never have been associated with people like that. So we rid our Kingdom of them. And we are better for it. MATTHEWS And what about Nathaniel Black? And Megan Skye, who'd been at your side for about 5 years. Landon sighs and shakes his head, gripping Queen Esther's hand for support. KING LANDON Megan has helped me a lot in the past. I don't deny this. But, I always felt that she was becoming self-absorbed. MATTHEWS Excuse me? KING LANDON I expect complete loyalty from my men and my women, Joshua. Loyalty to my cause. Loyalty to my vision! Megan couldn't handle her place in my Kingdom. She looked at my new Queen with envious eyes. And that was bad enough. Then, she laid her hands on my Queen. And that was simply unacceptable. She betrayed the King. And when you betray the King, when you commit treason in the Cucaracha Kingdom, you have to pay the price. Now as far as Nathaniel Black is concerned... he's had the envious eyes for years now. Envy of me. He's just like Megan. He couldn't handle the fact that somebody else was better than him, he couldn't take orders. He thought he knew best. And he committed high treason by attempting to stand up to me. Well, he's got what he wants now. He's going to be forced to forage for himself. To make his own existance, no more handouts from me. But he is now an enemy of the Kingdom. Motioning to Blonde, Landon is handed the OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Title belts. The three of them. But no sign of his makeshift fourth. KING LANDON The weak link of our unit has been dealt with. As of this moment, I am officially proclaiming that he has been stripped of his championship standing. Nathaniel Black no longer has any connection to me, or my Kingdom. And that myself, James Blonde and Faqu shall reign officially from this point on as OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions. MATTHEWS Can you do that? KING LANDON Of course I can. I'm the King of the OAOAST. King Of The Ring! King Of Spain! I can do whatever I want. And my Kingdom, my structured Kingdom, can reign over the OAOAST as an unstoppable force. My beautiful Queen, Queen Esther... Esther begins to blush at the compliment. KING LANDON My Knights, The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club. My Regal Wrecking Ball, Faqu. My Prince, James Blonde. And myself, as King. We are an all-powerful Kingdom. And heaven forbid anyone who dares to fight the Kingdom. We go back to Sofa Central, with Coach and a sceptical looking Michael Cole. COLE When did Landon get the dictionary? COACH He's a noble man now. Noble men speak with noble words. COLE I'm pretty sure you don't become 'noble' overnight. Although, I'm far from surprised at how quick this has all gone to Landon's head. COACH King Landon! COLE Sigh. COMMERCIAL

We return from commercial break with Christian Wright and Lorelei DeCenzo standing in the center of the OAOAST ring. They’re shrouded by a green spotlight while the rest of the audience is bathed in a yellow glow. WRIGHT Dear people, it is with ravishment and jubilance that I do make the honor of appearing on this public spectacle. Yet, I come today not as supercilious foe, or cavalier n’er do well. Instead I stand before thee a humbled soul. Baron Windells hath quarreled me, and flashed his blade in spite of my period of undefeated competition. To say I affixed upon me a look of modest fear whence this transpired, would only disrespect my emotions with extreme understatement. Baron Windells nearly took from me an endless panoply of pomp and merriment with his desecration of my lengthy time of competitive betterment. Know this, consorts, that a moment where my procession of athletic victories is ground to a halt shall never come again. LORELEI What he means is as close as Baron Windells came to ending his defeated streak, he came up short. Just like everyone else who faces Christian. No one will ever, and I do mean ever, get that close to beating Christian Wright again. Trust me on that. WRIGHT Well stated, Madame DeCenzo. My heart beats with the presentiment of you thousands in delirious anticipation of the OAOAST Anglemania. While you observers of this sport of kings no doubt revel in the thought of meritorious athletic competitions, I only have the gift of vision for the Money In The Bank ladder match. LORELEI Yes, you heard correctly, there’s going to be a Money in the bank ladder match at Anglemania. Real original idea, guys. Originality issues aside this match only matters for one person. The winner. And I’ll give you three guesses as to who that winner will be. That’s right, its Christian Wright. No one in their right mind would guess otherwise. Christian has it all! And its all going to come together at Anglemania. Bank on it. WRIGHT The world awaits a new god, and I shall be that god! “Like The Angels” turns the audience jeers into cheers as MARV, dressed to wrestle, and Melody dressed to arouse in daisy duke shorts appear on stage. WRIGHT What in the devil? MARV Bro, that’s all well and good, but don’t count your eggs before they hatch! So you think you’re going to be Mister Money In The Bank? First you gotta qualify….against me! The way I see it is that your ass is grass and I’m gonna do what I do best…SMOKE IT! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!“ COLE Its MARV against Christian Wright in a Money In The Bank qualifying match coming up after this! COMMERCIAL The two combatants leap into a lockup to begin the contest. Both men struggle in their fight to overpower their opponent. Eventually a stalemate ensues with both men forced to break the lockup. Wright is frustrated with his inability to overpower MARV and is made even madder when MARV waves him on. COLE A little bit of taunting from the Nerdly twin. Another lockup ensues, but this time its CW gaining the upperhand on MARV by whriling behind him and capturing him into a rear waistlock. MARV is not an easy prisoner, however, and fights with his foe to be free of the waistlock. Eventually MARV wins out and is able to swing behind CW to gain a waistlock of his own. Annoyance immediately registers on CW’s face, as he starts to try and fight free of the hold. He needn’t struggle too much; quickly he’s able to whirl around and snag his foe into a waistlock. But that hold lasts for mere seconds before MARV arm drags him to the canvas. Wright attempts to ground MARV by wrapping his legs around his head, but the skate sensation quickly kips out of the hold. COLE Lots of great mat action here, as MARV looks to one up The Enterprise and get some revenge. Both men speed to their feet, eager to draw first blood. Its MARV drawing first blood by hurling CW over with a side headlock takedown. This highly annoys CW, who begins thrashing and bucking at MARV’s grip. His loafers ram themselves into the side of MARV’s head, causing peppering pain to the Canadian. While these attacks allow CW to get to his feet, he remains trapped inside the headlock. Unable to pull is head free, he takes the only root left to him; he pushes MARV all the way to the corner to force a clean break. “Clean”, however, is not in CW’s vocabulary as he nows pounds his opponent with European uppercuts. COACH The Centennial Man is lighting that no good stoner up! Wright takes MARV down with a snapmare takeover. Not wishing to let the Nerdly boy get to his feet, Wright keeps him grounded with several painfaul kicks to the back. On the outside, Lorelei cheers with delight as MARV winces with pain. Next, The God Child hauls his foe off the canvas. A pair of European uppercuts weaken MARV, allowing Wright to easily whip him into the ropes. But MARV reverses the attack and its Wright that’s sent on a path to the ropes. He returns to a bent over MARV, and is forced to leapfrog him lest he risk impalement. But Wright can’t lay a single hand on MARV as the skater boy rushes into the ropes. Wright expects a low flying attack, and springs into the air for a leapfrog. However, his prediction proves inaccurate as his foe tags him with a dropkick that nails his stomach! “YEAAAAAAA!” As the audience continues their cheers, MARV makes a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Wright makes the kickout. “BOOOOOOOO!” the audience hisses and finds themselves shushed by Lorelei. While the Money Honey continues to bicker with the fans, MARV finds his way up the rope. He claps his hands to rally the fans, then settles himself on the third post. Moments later he flies off to connect with another dropick to topple The God Child to the canvas. Rather than risk his unbeaten streak, Wright hastily rolls out the ring to remap his strategy. COLE What cowardice by this so called God Child. COACH Wright got your pussy discharging like this? Live your life, son. You’re pathetic. COLE On that crude note, we’ll be back with more HeldDOWN~! COMMERCIAL As we return from break, Wright is in a better position than we found him in before the commercial break. He blasts a corner based MARV in the jaw with elbows before attempting to whip him across the ring. But MARV shifts his weight and hurls CW into the far corner. Rushing ahead at top speed the skater leaps into the air for a body splash. But Wright throws his elbow up as a shield and wards his opponent away with the painful attack. Thinking that he’s secured the upperhand, The God Child runs forth with arms raised to strike down MARV. But the Edmonton native strikes down his foe with the Kickflip (dropsault)! COLE Great move by MARV. What ring awareness to know that Wright would come charging after him. MARV attempts a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Wright kicksout mere moments before the three count. Exhausted by the attack, Wright staggers to his feet and stumbles to the corner to catch a breath. However, a reprieve is something he won’t get with MARV hammering him with knife edge chops. Once those attacks cease he grabs onto CW’s arm and throws him into the corner. MARV darts behind him, expecting to be able to crush The Centennial Man with a body splash. But Wright slides out the way. MARV is able to make course correction and position his orange boots onto second rope. Unfortunately for him , Wright kicksout his legs, causing him to topple over to the canvas. COACH You wanna talk about ring awareness? That’s ring awareness! COLE These two men battling for a spot in the Money In The Bank Ladder match at Anglemania. Wright pounces on his foe with furious blows that send MARV’s head snapping back and forth like a tether ball. The use of closed fists quickly comes to the attention of referee Earl Hebener, who separates Wright from his victim. Not exactly appreciating the interruption, an annoyed Wright taks out his anger on his foe with brutal stomps to head from his expensive loafers. “SKATE OR DIE! SKATE OR DIE! SKATE OR DIE!” Melody and the crowd try to rally the fallen Nerdly. MARV slowly gets back to his feet, clutching his sore head. Unfortunately his anguish only grows worse as his foe rushes forward to kick him in the stomach. MARV falls to the ground, howling in anguish as Wright gloats over top of him. “CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS!” WRIGHT SILENCE! “BOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Through with bickering with the audience, Wright traps his opponent inside the Wallstreet Cloverleaf! The pain settles in with alarming quickness causing MARV to reach out for the ropes. Unfortunately for him, Wright realizes what MARV is attempting and merely drags him back towards the center of the ring. “SKATE OR DIE! SKATE OR DIE! SKATE OR DIE!” the fans and Melody chant to rally the fallen Nerdly. MARV is in incredible anguish and seems to be on the verge of tapping out. Heaping insult to injury, Wright demands his submission in his typical verbose manner. Yet slowly but surely MARV begins inching his way closer and closer to the ropes. This frustrates CW and causes him to lose all composure as he ends the submission hold. COACH Dang, I thought The God Child had thinks locked up with that Wallstreet Cloverleaf. COLE Full credit to MARV for being able to survive such a deadly submission hold. Wright lifts MARV off the mat, and hooks onto his blue and orange tights. From there he hoists him into the air in set up for a back suplex. But MARV’s superior agility wins out as he’s able to reverse the attack into a lateral press! The referee drops to his knees to count the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Wright makes the kickout. Perturbed over being reversed, The God Child rushes to his feet and stomps away at the former tag team champion. He then picks up MARV by his shaggy hair, and snapmares him to the canvas. Seconds later his loafers smash into MARV’s back, throwing out a violent scream from the skateboarder. As Lorelei applauds his dominance, The God Child attempts a pinfall.. . ONE! TWO! MARV pops out the pinfall, bringing out a cheer from the St.Louis audience. COLE MARV is so tough and so strong that its going to take more than a kick to the back from fancy loafers to do in the Nerdly. Wright mounts MARV and batters him with punches. The referee tries to interject himself into the procession of closed fists, but is roughly ushered aside by The Centennial Man. “CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS!“ The crowd manages to do what the official could not, and that’s pull Wright away from MARV. The Natural leans over the ropes and calls for silence, but gets nothing more than harsher boos in return. COACH When will the OAOAST Galaxy learn to appreciate greatness when it appears before their very eyes? The alleged greatness of Christian Wright sees him hooking his opponent into a chicken wing. Lorelei cheers with wild excitement as Wright tightens the hold to cause maximum pain on MARV. The skateboarder screams out as the misery explodes across his body. However, he forces himself to stomach the agony and begins inching towards the corner. Wright holds on with all his might, making the journey to the turnbuckles an arduous one. But MARV finds it within him to create a sudden burst of energy that propels him to the croner. He lowers his body, causing Wright to crash into the top turnbuckle, and destroying the submission attempt. “YEAAAAAAAAAA!“ COLE What a resourceful counter from MARV. This young man has all the talent and the mental tools to take home the Money In The Bank prize. COACH Mental tools? The dude stays higher than Delta Airlines. Wright staggers back towards the center of the ring, causing MARV to believe he’s seized the advantage in the contest. Thusly he rushes forward to attack his foe, but is caught by the devastating Wright Off (sky high)! A pinfall is then made by The God Child… ONE! TWO! MARV makes a crucial kickout! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” A very vexed CW rolls MARV off the canavs, tagging him with elbows as he does so. He then hooks him into a front facelock and quickly snaps him backwards with a vertical suplex. He then floats over into a cover… ONE! TWO! MARV throws his shoulder off the canvas, bringing smiles to the faces of Melody and the fans. Those smiles quickly turn upside down as CW locks his opponent back inside the Wallstreet Cloverleaf. COACH Now this is it, Mikey. No way this Canadian junkie makes it out of this one. The fans loudly root MARV on in his effort to reach the ropes. His struggles are wearisome and exhausting as Wright leans back, crushing MARV beneath his weight. Melody beats on the canvas to encourage her brother to fight through the pain. MARV answers the call and eventually finds his way to the cables. COLE He got out again, Coach! Wright is visibly heated as he brings MARV to his feet. His frustrations only grow worse when the skater stuns him with a Jaw Jacker (inverted stunner) Wright stumbles away as the audience cheers his agony. Things continue to worsen for The God Child as MARV blasts him with a leaping heel kick! “YEAAAAAAAA!” the audience cheers as Wright is throw into the corner. He shakes off the ill effects of the hold, and then makes an angry charge at MARV. The skateboarder ducks Wright’s approach and carries himself to the corner where he climbs to the second rope. He then flings himself off the ropes and nails his opponent with a spinning wheel kick! COLE Wright is being given the run around here in the show me state! COACH Christian Wright needs to show me something! Show me he can keep his winning streak alive! MARV hooks both of CW’s legs for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Wright throws his shoulder off the canvas with only mere moments to spare. “THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE!” COACH No it wasn’t you morons! Wright finds his own way upright only to be greeted by two straight kicks to the chest. A leaping roundhouse is avoided, as The God Child runs to the ropes. However, he can’t evade the spinning elbow strike MARV nails him with on the rebound. As Melody and the fans give him “props” MARV makes another pinfall… COLE Could be it! ONE! TWO! CW kicksout the pin, deflating the audience somewhat. MARV brings him to his feet for an irish whip attempt. But CW reverses it and draws MARV in close for a snap powerslam. The referee hits the ground to score the pinfall… ONE! TWO! MARV reverses the pinfall! ONE! TWO! Wright with the kickout! “BOOOOOOOOOO!” MARV heads to his feet and takes a run towards the ropes. He springboards off the third cable, expecting to nail CW with a body splash. But The Natural converts the attack into a Wright Off! COLE Oh man! Wright leans forward to complete a pinfall that’s scored by the referee…. ONE! TWO! MARV with the shocking kickout! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” CW and Lorelei are both understandably furious, but The God Child leaves his business associate to complain to the referee. He focuses himself on pulling the skater boy to his feet. But as MARV is stood up he finds a new surge of energy and connects with powerful elbows to his opponent’s head. With CW dazed by the attacks, MARV traps him inside an inverted facelock! He then takes a run up the turnbuckles for an Acid Drop (Dudley dog). COLE Here comes the big one! But as the move is about to be completed, CW hastily shoves MARV away. The skateboarder lands on his feet and comes charging at The God Child. But Wright sucks him into a front facelock. Next he latches onto MARV’s blue and orange tights and lifts him into the air. From there he throws him forward with the Stockmarket Crash (Gordbuster)! COACH Now that’s the big one, Mikey. Melody recoils in fear and the audience sags visibly as CW makes the pinfall attempt… ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall and advancing to the money in the bank match at Anglemania….CHRISTIAN WRIGHT! Lorelei enters the ring with applause and compliments for her victorious client. Accepting them graciously, Wright makes the infamous money fingers gesture that symbolizes The Enterprise’s greatness. Melody attends to her disappointed brother as CW is given a mic WRIGHT From this day forth, I defiantly vow... no man, woman nor beast shall commit thine self to defeat! The audience derides him with negativity while he and The Money Honey celebrate his latest in a long string of victories. COLE Christian Wright has advanced to the Money In The Bank ladder match at Anglemania! Folks, we’ll be back with more HeldDOWN~! on the road to Anglemania after this! COMMERCIAL

From Saint Louis! Maya will have wordz 4 d00ds

Quaint little show. Props to EWC for turning in his segment EARLY

Booked so far! OAOAST Women's Title Crystal Vs Morgan Nerdly OAOAST World Title Mister Dick Vs Reject OAOAST Tag Team Titles Chicks Over Dicks Vs LDC Moneygang

A match announcement! MARV Vs Christian Wright

-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- We cut to sofa central where Cole and Coach sit in matching Anglemania football jerseys. The area is decorated with Anglemania banners and posters, all designed to hype up the upcoming super bowl of the OAOAST COLE Folks we are fresh off the Nerdly Spectacular and only weeks away from the most anticipated event of the year Anglemania! I'm Michael Cole joined as always by Johnathan Coachman. And, Coach, what a show we have tonight? COACH Three title matches! Count em, three! OAOAST WOMEN'S TITLE MORGAN NERDLY VS LINDSAY GONZALEZ OAOAST TAG TEAM TITLES LDC MONEYGANG VS THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESS IN THE MAINEVENT OAOAST UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP ALIX MARIA SPEZIA VS VINNY VALENTINE TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT COLE Its going to be one heck of a show! Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer COLE And it starts with The Human Hard On! Britney Spears smash hit play to grand reception from the sold out Montreal audience. Entrance doors split apart to reveal the chaps wearing, cowboy hatted bad boy of the OAOAST Mister Dick with a brand new look…. MISTER DICK! Behind him, wearing jeans and a white t-shirt is his old partner Baron Windells. At his side is Tim Cash, clothed in black slacks and a red dress shirt. In cute daisy duke shorts, Melody follows them closely. COLE The number one contender to the OAOAST title making his way to the ring with Citizen Soldiers! COACH I don’t like this, Mikey. Mister Dick threw Baron through a window! Windels is just biding his time till he turns on Jock, and you can’t trust that goody-goody Cash either. Mister Dick and his crew enter the ring to another large ovation from the standing audience. The Human Hard On is given a microphone and he smiles over the promo about to flow from his mouth. MISTER DICK Reject, boy, you done stepped over every line there is! I gotta keep laying down new lines so ya got something to step over. You must’ve been born out your mama’s backside, because yer as stupid as shit. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans scream, encouraged by Melody. MISTER DICK Ain’t nobody but nobody gonna do what you did to me at Nerdly Spectacular and get away without me fixin to put the beats on their scrawny little ass. I know why you did it, though. I ain’t even gonna get that mad, ‘cause I understand ya, boy, I understand ya boy. You kicked me out the Deadly Alliance not because of no disrespect or nothin’, but ‘cause ya knew I was the blue ribbon pig in the group. Boy, the minute you saw I won the Lethal Rumble, you turned yellow. You turned yellower than a damn canary! ‘Cause ya knew, you knew, boy, that I was gonna march into Anglemania stomp your ass into the Vegas dirt, and march right back on out with the rest of Deadly Alliance following me behind. The audience applauds as Melody mouths the word “FATALITY!” MISTER DICK Cause ThunderKid, Melissa, Sandman and even that weird Russian son of a bitch you got a man crush on, woulda seen that I can out do you in the ring, I can out do ya on the mic, and I can damn sure out do you between the sheets. Ask Malaysia AND Melissa about that one, boy! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” MISTER DICK I’m 12 inches of solid man, and yer 4 inches of solid pussy! You wanna kick me out the Deadly Alliance and think yer gonna get away with it? Uh-uh, I was already motivated to take the title from ya. I was just gonna snatch that belt from yer waist and leave it at that. But, son, you done made this a personal war, and I’m madder than a chained dog next to a bitch in a heat. Boy, now I’m gonna make sure I leave yer ass a bloody mess in the center of that Anglemania ring! “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” MISTER DICK Just like a good threesome with Malaysia, Mister Dick couldn’t take you Deadly Alliance fools by himself, he had to have help. We ain’t always seen eye to eye, but boy, Baron Windells is family, and I thank Tim Cash for his help to. I don’t always get his nice guy act, but if that act saved me an ass whipping, he’s better than a prized winning heffer about to be a juicy hamburger. Mister Dick passes the mic to Baron. BARON Jock, you got the key word in there. Family. We may have our arguments and our differences, but in this world where alliances come and go in a flash, we’re always going to be family. We can feud, and we can fight, but I’m always going to be here for you, brother. Always. The audience claps for Baron’s show of kindness. He then passes the microphone to Tim Cash. CASH Mister Dick, or Jock if you prefer. Belated congratulations are in order for your advancing to Anglemania to challenge for the world title. It’s a heck of an opportunity and I think we all know you’ll make the most of it. Even though we come from two different worlds with two different schools of thought, it was an honor to stand behind you as you courageously signed the contract to face Reject at Angleamnia. Citizen Soldiers were in your corner at the Nerdly Spectacular, and we will have your back at Anglemania. “YEAAAAAAAA!” the fans cheer as Cash and Mister Dick shake hands. MISTER DICK Thank, you gentlemen, I’d ride the water with ya any day of the week. I can trust ya, and after what those bastards did me to this past week, trust ain’t easy to come by. There should be a third person out here, tellin’ me they got me covered, but she ain’t no where to be seen. And I’m as nervous as a 12 year old about to touch his first tit, because she might have some Deadly hooks set in on her. Malaysia, if yer listening come on out, baby! To a mixed reaction, Malaysia makes her way to the ring. The dangerous beauty where’s bikini bottoms and a black corset. MISTER DICK Here it is the moment of truth, you ain’t gotta worry about things getting violent, although I know ya like that, with Cash sayin’ ya shouldn’t hit a woman. I ain’t gonna hurt ya, I ain’t gonna get mad at ya. I, and Montreal, need an answer, who ya with? Are ya stayin’ with those Benedict Arnold sons of bitches and throwin’ away two years of the best sex in yer life. Or are ya doin’ the right thing and stayin’ with the well hung, well built, future champion of the OAOAST? Do you bleed Deadly Alliance or am I the only man for you? CASH Malaysia, we know you’ll make the proper decision, and I personally support any choice you make. MISTER DICK How’s it gonna be, baby? Malaysia takes several seconds to mull it over, as the audience anticipates her answer. It comes abruptly as Mister Dick recives a low blow from his (former?) girlfriend. CASH, BARON, AND THE FANS MISTER DICK (doubled over but laughing) Why ya’ll wearin’ that shocked face? Comin’ from a dominatrix, that’s better than a kiss! Welcome home, baby, we goin’ to Anglemania! Malaysia leaps into Mister Dick’s arms and all is well as a confused audience, and equally befuddled Citizen Soldiers clap over Malyasia’s choice. Suddenly a wealth of boos spring from the stands. These jeers are all focused on the world champion Reject, wearing his psychedelic wrestling tights with his title wrapped around his waist. Flanking him are ThunderKid and Melissa. REJECT Bad choice. Not just you Malaysia but for all of you. Windels, Cash, I thought you had common sense. I guess I misjudged you when I figured you were smart. You don’t have a brain cell between you. Especially you, Baron Windels. Jock jizzed on you! He jerked off on you. And he wrote a song about it! A freakin’ song! And here you are calling him your brother? Man, he came on you! Is this life? Is this reality? And Malaysia, the Deadly Alliance has been so good to you. We’ve given you a place and purpose while Jock would rather have you relegated to being his love slave. But you chose him over us? MELISSA I’m your sister and you’re turning your back on me for a man! And not much of a man at that, “OOOOOOOOOH!” REJECT I don’t understand any of you people. Jock, I’m the dumb one? No its anyone who stands with you that’s stupid. “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” REJECT Not as much as the Canadiens “BOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH Ha! The world champ is in classic form. REJECT Jock, anyone who stands with you, stands against the Deadly Alliance. You should know better than anyone that going up against us is a very bad thing to do. If you actually gave a damn about anyone in that ring, you’d tell them to go about their way and keep their noses out of Alliance business. The Deadly Alliance doesn’t play games, and we don’t show mercy. If you oppose us, then we’ll take you down. The audience blasts Reject with heat over his comments. Mister Dick invites him into the ring “to settle the score” but Reject and his partners merely wave him off and depart through the entrance doors. Man, I hope those things never get jammed otherwise we’re out a show! COMING UP NEXT OAOAST WOMEN'S TITLE LINDSAY GONZALEZ VS MORGAN NERDLY NEXT COMMERCIAL

Does anyone need it?

A soft purple hue hangs over the ring as we return to find the King Of The Ring ceremony ready to be conducted. A large, regal throne sits in the middle of the red carpetted ring. Hanging from gold stands are the robe, hate and scepter to annoint the new King. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your 2010 OAOAST KING OF THE RING... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" The triumphant trumpetting of "Parade Of The Charioteers" plays through the arena and the crowd rise to their foot to boo their new King! Beaming with pride, Landon emerges through the entrance with arms outstretched, lording it over the crowd. Following him out, no surprise, are the rest of Cucaracha Internacional. However, what is a bit of a surprise is who follows them... Queen Esther and All The Queen's Men! COLE Isn't this fitting. The new King and the woman responsible for his victory, out here to celebrate together. COACH "Responsible" nothing. The only man responsible for greatness is the man himself. He beat seven men to be crowned King, that deserves your respect whether you like it or not. COLE Are you kidding? He beat two men, Coach. He got a bye in the semi-finals and he only beat Denzel Spencer in the Finals thanks to a little assist from Queen Esther who was watching the match from ringside. As the 10-strong party all enter the ring Landon looks at the throne with great joy. He looks around like a child on Christmas, looking for some sort of signal that he can infact actually sit in the seat and try it out. And at the first signal he scampers forward and gets himself comfortable in the plush red pillowed seat. The crowd are not impressed and boo loudly, threatening to ruin the coronation with chants of "LAN - DON SUCKS!" COACH Look how happy he is Michael! How proud he is to be King! Practically giddy with delight Landon watches as two important looking suited figures enter the ring. Not important enough to be named or introduced though. They are apparantly in charge of the proceedings though, as they lift the large purple and gold robe from it's stand. Queen Esther looks on with great joy as Landon stands up and allows himself to be fitted with the robe. Taking his scepter, Landon then sits back down as the two suited men lift up the crown. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, once again, your KING OF THE RING... LANDON MADDIX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! The crown is lowered onto Landon's head, his eyes wide in delight. COACH What a moment! What a great moment! COLE If Landon gets any more excited, his brain is going to explode. With their duties done, the unnamed suits exit the ring, leaving Landon to address his crowd. LANDON Ladies and gentlemen... hang on, hang on. Sorry, I'm still getting the hang of this. My loyal subjects... "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" LANDON Today is a brave new day in the OAOAST! Today, I, Landon Maddix, have been appointed your King. And it is with great pleasure that I accept this crown, this robe and this really cool wand here. COLE Scepter. COACH Whatever. LANDON As some of you may know my roots are very rich. My family were from a gifted country, Spain, a country steeped in royal tradition. I look from this point on to continue that fine tradition of Spanish royalty. And just as Juan Carlos, current King Of Spain, oversaw Spain's transition from dictatorship to democracy, I, Landon Maddix, King Of The Ring, will lead the OAOAST forward as a true leader of men. Not just a King for one country, but a King with international reach. Infact, you might say... I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD! "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" COLE That might have been the smartest thing Landon has ever said... you know, until the Titanic quote. Queen Esther can hold herself back no longer and takes the microphone, gushing with pride. QUEEN ESTHER Oh great joy and great salutations on this day, King Landon. You truly bring nobility and royalty to the OAOAST today. As I watched you last week I knew it was you and only you worthy of this crowd. And I simply had to take action. Heavens, it pained my heart to toy with the strings of fate. But I must. Must, I say! COACH See, she apologised. COLE Oh, yeah, sure. LANDON Thank you Esther. Your grace and beauty is an inspiration to me. That's why, as my first official proclaimation as King, I am announcing the MERGER of Cucaracha Internacional and All The Queen's Men, to form my Cucaracha Kingdom!! However, this is one drawback. You see, any Kingdom... it needs it's Knights. Men who are willing to fight for their monarchy. But, in this Kingdom... there is only room for one King. Landon's head turns towards The Last Kings Of Scotland, who look surprised to have apparantly been singled out. LANDON Especially when those Kings have already let their Queen down once before. Queen Esther's heart craved the Anderson Cup trophy to be mounted upon her wall. And you two let her down. You are unkempt. You are thuggish. And there is no room for you in this Kingdom. Danny Boy and Scottish Scott protest their case, but Landon quiets them down. LANDON I'm sorry. Queen's orders. Suddenly, RICO AND LUCIUS BLAST SCOTTISH SCOTT FROM BEHIND!! Danny Boy tries to fight them off but is overwhelmed by the attack. Cucaracha Internacional just stand back and watch, Landon overseeing this from his throne, as Rico and Lucius beat down the unprepared Scots. The right hands of Rico bust open the forehead of Scottish Scott from the mount position, while Lucius stomps the hell out of Danny Boy with his hard dress shoes. COLE I can't believe what I'm seeing! The Last Kings Of Scotland, being thrown out of the Kingdom, by men who were their own partners just a few days ago! And Queen Esther is just standing back and watching without a care in the world! COACH Those are not noble men. How Queen Esther put up with those brutes for so long, I don't know. The beating is swift and brutal and The Last Kings Of Scotland are thrown from the ring. With that out of the way Landon smiles and attempts to move on. Megan, Black and Blonde all watch this with a little confusion on their faces. Referees come out from the back and help Scottish Scott to the back, with Danny Boy not wanting any help but being escorted out as well. LANDON With that unpleasantness behind us forever, we move onwards and upwards. A new day with the Cucaracha Kingdom reigning over the OAOAST! And together, we will rule over all who oppose us and all who worship us equally. And if you thought my leadership was powerful before, just imagine what great feats can be achieved now that I have a Queen by my side! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Queen Esther blushes and fans herself, embarrassed by the compliment. However, she's not the only one. Looking thoroughly fed up of all of this ceremony, Megan Skye walks around the back of the throne and starts to get into an arguement with Queen Esther! COLE Uh oh. LANDON Ladies... ladies, please! Megan and Esther's confrontation continues, despite Landon's pleas for them to stop. And it starts to get ugly, as Esther informs Megan that "there's only room for one Queen as well". Megan doesn't take kindly to this and scowls at Esther, before losing her temper and SHOVING THE QUEEN ONTO HER BUTT!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" QUEEN ESTHER COLE OH MY~! I don't think Megan is taking too kindly to having Queen Esther muscle in on her territory! Landon leaps from his throne and attends to Queen Esther, as do Blonde and The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club. Shocked, Queen Esther looks mortified at having been embarrassed. Landon is horrified, trying to make sure his Queen is okay. Then, with a furious look on his face, Landon turns to Megan, who is understandably taken aback to see her man glaring at her. LANDON Nobody... but NOBODY... puts their hands on my Queen! Surprised at being yelled at like this, Megan backs away. Landon remains furious, as he motions to Rico and Lucius. LANDON Knights... ...OFF WITH HER HEAD! COLE WHAT!? Given their orders, Rico and Lucius turn their attentions to Megan ready to attack! COLE What the HELL is this!? Landon is sticking his cronies on Megan!? Has he lost his mind!? Megan backs away and cowers in the corner as the Hellfire Club close in on her, completely helpless. She tries to plead for some mercy, but Rico and Lucius aren't backing up, as Landon looks on with no signs of remorse for what is about to happen to his closest confidant. But before Rico and Lucius can lay a finger on Megan, there's help from an unlikely source, as NATHANIEL BLACK STEPS IN FRONT OF HER!! "YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" BLACK IF YOU WANT 'ER, YER GONNA 'AVE TO GO THROUGH ME FIRST! Surprised by this, Rico and Lucius stop, Black not backing down from the two! Angered by this Landon makes another signal. And Faqu is ordered in to take care of this situation, which he does, BY JUMPING NATHANIEL!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Megan sees Black go down and quickly gets out of the ring to safety, as Faqu, Rico and Lucius all put the boots to Nathaniel Black! The three on one is too much for Black and he's quickly overwhelmed. Once he's sure Black is down Landon walks over, watching the beatdown occur before stepping in. He moves Rico aside enough to hover over Black, screaming "TRAITOR! TRAITOR!" at the Englishman, before giving him a kick in the ribs. That angers Black enough to reach out and grab at Landon, but before he can reach, the stomps wear him down again. COLE This is ridiculous! Nathaniel Black stepped up and did the right thing and this is what he gets? COACH He betrayed the King's wishes! He's been a problem for Landon for months now. And he let him down one too many times, so now, the Kingdom has to deal with him, just like they did with Scottish Scott and Danny Boy. With Black stomped until he's unable to defend himself, Landon finally calls a halt to the beating. Adjusting his robe he scowls down at the Englishman before turning his back to the 'traitor' and extending his arms to the booing crowd, trying to put all eyes back on him as "Parade Of The Charioteers" plays again. The applause of Blonde and Queen Esther is in stark contrast to the reaction of the fans and that of Megan, who stands on the outside, looking on shocked at the motionless Black. COLE If this "coronation" has proven anything, it's this. Landon Maddix has officially gone mad with power. COACH That's King Landon. The boos continue to rain down on the Cucaracha Kingdom as they leave the ring. Landon holding the ropes for Queen Esther, Blonde holding the ropes for Landon. Rico and Lucius keep an eye on Black incase he comes back for more while Faqu screams into the camera lens in Samoan. And despite the chaos that he's just caused, Landon seems intent on enjoying his status as King as he walks, head high, back up the aisle.

We cut to a dressing room, where... COLOMBIAN HEAT and... MAGGIE NERDLY are standing by. The crowd cheers. Colombian Heat is in his wrestling attire and is pacing back and forth. Maggie, wearing a black Minor Threat T-shirt, necklace, purple bracelets, purple nail polish, a gold watch on her right wrist, a black wrist band on her left wrist, a purple ruffled skirt, black knee high socks with purple stripes and black Converse sneakers, is sitting on a table. Maggie is whistling when the door opens, and... THA PUERTO RICAN appears to the crowd's delight. THA PUERTO RICAN Hey guys. MAGGIE NERDLY Hey babe! PRL and Maggie give each other a hug and a kiss. COLOMBIAN HEAT Sup, bro? Colombian Heat high fives his longtime best friend and then pulls him in for a hug. THA PUERTO RICAN Nothin' much. So, looks like we all had an interesting night last Thursday! HEAT Yo, man, I's had it! I's had Landon right where I's wanted him! But I's made one mistake! ONE mistake! And that cost me, dawg! Man, I's could have been King! I's could have been da King of da Ring! I'd would have been da illest King EVER! But I done messed up, and now, I's got nothin'. PRL Hey, don't sweat it, man. You got me. You got us! As much as it pains me to know that you lost to freakin' Landon Maddix, and that Landon is now the...ugh...King Of The Ring...at least I can go to sleep at night knowing that he didn't pull any B.S. on you, and that, no matter how hard he tries, the crown will never AND THA PUERTO RICAN MEANS NEVER make him look good. Plus, the crown won't be able to hide his stupid haircut. So, at least there's that. All Hail King Dork! HEAT HAIL KING DORK! HA! HA! HA! HA! PRL, Maggie and Heat all share a laugh along with the crowd before P.R. continues talking. THA PUERTO RICAN Yes. Well, I did a pretty damn good job sending James Riggs back to obscurity last week. Not too hard. Quite easy, really. No sweat off my back. But, I think we can all agree that you, little missy, had the most interesting night of us all! Maggie blushes as the crowd hoots and hollers, remembering the very exciting and very stimulating Evening Gown Pillow Fight from seven days prior. MAGGIE Oh, well, hehe, it was no big deal. I had fun. It certainly wasn't something that I do all the time! THA PUERTO RICAN I would hope not! Swinging pillows at my ex-fiancée while in your bra and panties. That better not be business as usual! Although, I can't help but find that strangely erotic at the same time. Are you sure you and Lindsay don't have secret meetings where all you do is have pillow fights in your underwear? And can I come to the next meeting? MAGGIE Hahahahahaha! P.R., no! Last Thursday night was the last time I ever wanted to interact with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. Trust me on that one! Unless she wins the OAOAST Women's Title again, of course! HEAT Yo, Maggie, as a close friend and confidant, I gotta say tha following, but I say dis wit da utmost respek: DAMN GIRL, YOU WERE LOOKING GOOD OUT THERE LAST THURSDAY! SHAWTI GOT BACK, YO! SHAWTI GOT BACK! Maggie giggles while PRL gives his best friend The People's Eyebrow. PRL Yo, bro, easy with that. Remember who you're talking to! HEAT I know. I know. She's your girl. Just dat, I's see a fine lady with barely anything on, and I go nuts, you know what I'm sayin'? PRL Hey, I don't blame you! I'm pretty damn sure that you weren't the only one who enjoyed that match! MAGGIE The match that I won, by the way! Don't forget that! PRL Yes, but I could have done without having the entire OAOAST Galaxy see you in your underwear. "YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Tha Puerto Rican looks up to the ceiling. THA PUERTO RICAN Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! I heard that! Don't think I didn't hear that cheer, Lightning Bolts! You know that I love you guys, but watch it! I'm not gonna share her with ANYBODY! She be mine! Colombian Heat and Maggie Nerdly just watch as Tha Puerto Rican talks to the ceiling. The fans, who have all clearly heard PRL, just laugh and chant his name. THA PUERTO RICAN Oh well. At least you were partly covered. At least you weren't bucky ball naked. MAGGIE ...until later that night. THA PUERTO RICAN And that was in front of an audience of one. PRL and Maggie both nod and giggle. PRL licks his lips while Maggie winks at her boyfriend. The crowd hoots and hollers as PRL and Maggie embrace and lock eyes with each other, both of them smiling a wide smile. The two lovebirds give each other Eskimo kisses while Colombian Heat plays the role of the third wheel. COLOMBIAN HEAT Ugh. Get a room, yo. THA PUERTO RICAN Already got the room key! COLOMBIAN HEAT MAGGIE So, what's going on for tonight? You told us that you had a surprise. That someone else was in the car with you. COLOMBIAN HEAT Yeah, man. I haven't seen you dis excited in a long time. You didn't come with me or Maggie to tha arena cuz you were pickin' dis person up at the airport. Who is it? PRL There indeed was somewhere else with me. Someone you guys might recognize. HEAT Daddy Yankee? THA PUERTO RICAN No. MAGGIE Richard Marx? PRL No. HEAT The dude that played Harry Potter? PRL Nope. MAGGIE Barry Horowitz? PRL Eh...close. He's definitely a wrestler. But he's most certainly a better wrestler than Barry Horowitz! I have been trying and trying to get him into the OAOAST for the longest time, but it wasn't until last week that he finally signed his contract! So, now, we can proudly welcome him into the One And Only AngleSault Thread! Tha Puerto Rican opens the door to the dressing room. THA PUERTO RICAN You can come in now! A handsome young man who is a couple of inches shorter than Tha Puerto Rican enters the room. He is slimmer than PRL and has spiky black hair, brown eyes and a black goatee. He is wearing an earring in his right ear, a white T-shirt with a red buttoned down dress shirt over it, a leather jacket, a gold watch on his right wrist, a silver ring on his right hand, a silver chain around his neck, black dress pants with a leather belt and black dress shoes. He removes his aviator sunglasses and takes a good look at Heat and Maggie. The crowd is wondering who this man is, but Heat and Maggie clearly recognize him. THA PUERTO RICAN Guys, you remember my brother: Victor Perez Quagmire! HEAT Victor! Sup, holmes!? VICTOR PEREZ QUAGMIRE Sup, Heat! How you been? Heat and Victor high five each other and then Victor pulls Heat in for a hug. HEAT Nothin' much. Same as always. Just hustlin', workin' on mah grind, tryin' to keep mah head above water. You know how we do! VICTOR Right. Right. I feel ya, Heat. HEAT Yeah boy! Victor turns his attention to Maggie and gives her a warm hug, a hug that you give someone that you haven't seen in a long time. VICTOR Hey Maggie! I missed ya! MAGGIE Hey Victor! Good to see you again! VICTOR You treating my brother right? MAGGIE Haha. You know I am! You know I can't keep my hands off of him! VICTOR I know. He truly cares about you. He never shuts up about you! MAGGIE Awww, really? VICTOR Nope. Just kidding. Of course! He's crazy about you! MAGGIE Awwwww! Maggie glances at her boyfriend and smiles. PRL looks lovingly at his girlfriend before remembering what he was going to say. THA PUERTO RICAN Oh yeah. So, anyway, Victor just signed a contract with the OAOAST. As of right now, he is an official member of the One And Only AngleSault Thread roster! MAGGIE That's great! HEAT Way to go! MAGGIE Congratulations! VICTOR Thanks, guys. It's great to finally have my dream come true. I have been wanting to be a professional wrestler my whole life! Tha Puerto Rican, Edward, he's been my guardian since the day that I was born. I looked up to him. I wanted to follow in his footsteps. He's not just my older brother, he's my role model. I wanted to be just like him so badly, and now, in a way, I can. I'm going to continue what he's started. I am going to live up to his expectations, to my family's expectations, to my expectations. The Quagmires are going to become one of professional wrestling's most powerful families! It started with Tha Puerto Rican, and it will continue on with me: "Virgin Island Thunder" Victor Perez! THA PUERTO RICAN "Virgin Island Thunder"! I like it! VICTOR Thanks. It took me all night to come up with that one! Tha Puerto Rican puts his right arm around his little brother's shoulders. THA PUERTO RICAN This is only the beginning for you, little brother! Soon, we will become the first brothers to BOTH be OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! Who knows? You might even win the Lethal Rumble before I do! I wouldn't mind it! You can do it! Go right ahead! The possibilities are endless! I'm so glad that you're finally here! And I know that Mom is just so happy right now! I'm pretty sure that she was crying, crying tears of joy obviously, when I talked to her earlier. VICTOR Dad was too. PRL Wow. Something finally caused him to crack. Amazing. VICTOR Yeah, wasn't it? THA PUERTO RICAN You know, being here, in this room. With my brother. My best friend. My girl. The three people in the OAOAST I care about the most. With The Lightning Bolts watching our every move. It just doesn't get any better than this! VICTOR Yeah. HEAT Yeah. MAGGIE Yeah. PRL, Victor, Maggie and Colombian Heat all stand around and reflect on what Tha Puerto Rican just said. They all have smiles on their faces. There is an awkward silence for a couple of seconds as everyone stops reflecting. COLOMBIAN HEAT Sooooo...do we sing "We Are The World" now? MAGGIE The original or the remake? HEAT Does it matter? PRL Yeah, you're right, this is getting a little bit *too* mushy for my tastes. Who's up for some beers? HEAT ME! VICTOR Fine by me! MAGGIE I'm down. VICTOR You're 19-years-old. MAGGIE I'm legal in Canada. VICTOR Eh, close enough. MAGGIE We don't all say 'Eh'. THA PUERTO RICAN Beers it is! And beers are on me! MAGGIE, VICTOR & HEAT YEA! THA PUERTO RICAN And we're off! Tha Puerto Rican opens the door and exits the dressing room. "Virgin Island Thunder" Victor Perez follows. Colombian Heat follows Victor. Maggie Nerdly follows Heat and closes the dressing room door. The crowd cheers loudly and chants, "BEER! BEER! BEER! BEER!" (Cut to Sofa Central) COACH Tha Puerto Rican's BROTHER is in the OAOAST now!? COLE Yep. And hopefully, despising Da Coach runs in the family. COACH Damnit! Now I gotta go hide TWICE a show now! COLE You should be hiding all of the time. But I digress. Fans, as you just heard, Tha Puerto Rican's very own brother, "Virgin Island Thunder" Victor Perez, has joined the OAOAST! I have heard a lot about this young man. Apparently, he is a very talented up and coming high flyer who can soar through the air with the best of them! I cannot wait to see Victor Perez in action in an OAOAST ring hopefully very soon! But, we've still got more to come on tonight's HeldDOWN~! In our main event, we'll see if Vinny Valentine can upset Alix for the US Title!

Live action returns with another picturesque view of Montreal We head back to ringside Michael Buffer positioned inside the squared circle. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following return match is scheduled for one fall and is for the ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! “Like the Angel” by Rise Against cues and two pyro rockets shoot into the air as identical twin sensations MARV and MEL high-five onstage. BUFFER Introducing first, the challengers… from Edmonton, Alberta Canada… total combined weight 370 pounds... the team of MARV and MEL... THE CHRIST AIR EEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXPPRRRRRREEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" MARV and MEL swing into the air and pump their fists. COLE In many people’s minds we are looking at the uncrowned tag team champions, Coach. COACH But was the ruling not correct? COLE Indeed it was. The footage aired on OAOAST Syndicated proved that. COACH Then everybody ought to quit whining. “The World is Mine” by David Guetta is piped through the speakers and down the green and gold lit stage the World tag team champions and Theodore Moneymaker walk. BUFFER And their opponents, accompanied by the Chief Executive Officer of THE ENTERPRISE, THEODORE MONEYMAKER! Total combine weight 420 pounds, THE ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS… COLIN MAGUIRE, JR., SPENCER REIGER… THE LDC MMMOOOONNEYGANG!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" As Moneymaker readies his men for action, the referee converses with ring announcer Michael Buffer. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve just been informed Theodore Moneymaker has until the count of 10 to leave ringside or not only will the LDC Moneygang lose the match…but also the One & Only World tag team championship! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" MONEYMAKER Moneymaker throws a fit, as do the LDCMG. COLE The match hasn’t even begun and we already have fireworks. Theodore Moneymaker’s been ejected! COACH I’ve heard of make-up calls in sports, but this is way out of line, Cole. Teddy didn’t do anything wrong. COLE Obviously the OAOAST is trying to level the playing field. COACH By covering up for their referees? Why that’s the smartest thing you’ve said in a long time. They’re stacking the deck against the LDC Moneygang due to public opinion. ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! After a final word with the LDCMG, Moneymaker leaves to a familiar tune. “NA NA NA NA, NA NA NA NA, HEY HEY…GOODBYE!” MONEYMAKER Spencer calls for the microphone. REIGER Wait a minute. Before we get it on let’s first try to get along. And what brings people together? Money! So I’ve gotten the okay to offer you guys $100,000... CMJ 50,000 a piece! REIGER …to walk away and forget this whole thing ever happened. CMJ Yeah. Sorry for the inconvenience. The CAE think the offer over and nod their heads. REIGER (laughs) I think we have a deal. Both team shake hands, and then the CAE deck the LDCMG! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" * DINGDINGDING * The CAE stay on the offensive, whipping the champs in for BAAAAAACK body drops. DOUBLE KICKFLIPS knock the LDCMG to the floor, then MEL uses MARV as a springboard to perform a SHOOTING STAR SUICIDA! COLE & COACH MEL dumps Reiger back in and the CAE send him to THE PEARLY GATES! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! MARV removes the tag belt around Reiger’s waist and holds it high to the crowd’s delight. Nick Patrick yanks it from MARV and goes to hand it to Buffer as Reiger reverses a whip and CMJ smacks MARV across the back with the other tag belt! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Don’t tell me it’s gonna end like this. COACH It is! The cover. ONE! TWO! NO! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COLE He kicked out! The kid kicked out! Reiger rams MARV into the buckle and tags CMJ, who immediately unloads a series of Irish uppercuts. MARV ducks a back elbow and delivers a RUNNING DDT on the rebound! The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY REIGER! The LDCMG work MARV over and send him in for the ride, but MARV puts on the brakes and takes both Enterprise members down with THE JAWJACKER! COLE MARV must collect coupons because he just got 2 for the price of 1. COACH With that kind of material you’re a shoo-in to host next years Oscars. The CAE tag and MEL enters a house afire slamming and dropkicking both LDCMG members. DOUBLE COCONUT sends them their separate ways. MEL whips CMJ in for a FLYING CORNER CLOTHESLINE, then slams him down and climbs up top. COLE Are we gonna see a second Shooting Star? The answer is yes, but CMJ moves and MEL lands on his feet. CMJ hooks the arm and executes a RELEASE OVERHEAD CHICKEN-WING SUPLEX THAT DROPS MEL STOMACH-FIRST ON THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!! COACH DAYUM~! Reiger yanks MEL down from the apron as CMJ delivers his ultra rare ONE MAN SPANISH FLY!!! COLE Boondock Saint! COACH Where’s the damn referee?!? We learn trying to pull apart Reiger and MEL. CMJ taps Nick Patrick on the shoulder to grab his attention. Meanwhile, the CAE pull off another SECRET SWITCH~! COACH Oh no, not this again. Suddenly MEL kips up and fires away on CMJ. MEL wrings the arm and gives CMJ a NOSEPLANT! The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY REIGER! MEL and Reiger trade blows until Reiger rakes the eyes, but MEL reverses and telegraphs a backdrop, allowing the LDCMG to hit THE SPIKE REIGER COUNTER!! COLE Spike Reiger Counter out of nowhere! The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER The winners of the match and STILL your One & Only World tag team champions… COLIN MAGUIRE, JR., SPENCER REIGER… THE LDC MMMOOOONNEYGANG!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Nick Patrick awards the tag titles to the LDCMG, who proceed to mock the CAE with a leaping high-five of their own. COLE Heck of an effort by the Christ Air Express, but one mistake cost them dearly. COACH Justice was served if you ask me. The CAE again tried to get away with an illegal switch and got punished for it. The celebration is on backstage as Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright and Lorelei DeCenzo shower the LDCMG with champagne. In the background a CHILI STAND AND BAKE SALE set up by MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD to help the earthquake victims in Chile and raise a little money for her school the Beverly Vista School (smart girl, OAOAST superstars are handsomely paid). Eating quite a bit of Maya's goods is the hungriest man in the OAOAST, Jumbo. MAYA Uh, I appreciate you spending enough to field a small army, but haven't you had enough? JUMBO I'll tell you when I've had enough! I am not a food addict! Food does not eat me, I eat food! My stomach does not control me, I can stop eating anytime! Anytime I want! Can I have five more bags of jelly beans please? MAYA CMJ (pushing Jumbo aside) Shove off fatso. WRIGHT Yes, begone bestial fiend! Your girth offends us. REGIER (singing) We are the champions my friends, dun dun dun! MONEYMAKER (singing) And we'll keep on fighting to the end! REIGER AND MONEYMAKER We are the champions, we are the champions, no time for losers because we are the champions...of the world! MAYA Oh hi! Would you like to commemorate your victory with some delicious chili? Or maybe a yummy sugar cookie? I promised Aunt Alix hasn't loaded any of them with her um...special herbs, at least not since the DEA came sniffing around last week. CMJ Aren’t you gonna congratulate the champs on their big win, little girl? MAYA No, but I appreciate you guys keeping the belts warm for my mom and Alix at AngleMania. MONEYMAKER LORELEI Smart mouthed and rude, just like your mother. REIGER Ah, to be young and naïve again. Let me to bring you back to reality, kid. We are the One & Only World tag team champions. It’s your hope for a title change at AngleMania. But as the real world’s shown, hope and change isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be. A lesson we’ll remind your mom and Alix and all their Hollywood friends at AngleMania. CMJ What’s with the stand? MAYA Uh, hello? (points to sign above stand) “Chili for Chile.” and a bakesale for my school, the Beverly Vista School Moneymaker dips his finger in a bowl of Chili. MAYA Hey! MONEYMAKER (tastes chili, spits it out) This stuff tastes like shit. People could get sick eating from it. CMJ Eh, you're just too picky, Ted, lemme try one of those cookies....shit I chipped a fhakin tooth! What are these made out of? Concrete and ass? JUMBO Mighty fine ass at that! CMJ (grimacing from the pain( Shaddup, tons of fun. MONEYMAKER Boys, do as any good food critic would do. While CMJ tries to cope with the outstanding pain in his mouth, Spencer Reiger tips the entire table over sending Maya's precious food scattering everywhere. MAYA REIGER Oops, my fault. MONEYMAKER REIGER (shouting over his shoulder) Tell your mother to get me Julia Roberts autograph when she goes to the Oscars. My mom loves her. COMMERCIAL