Patty O'Green

BIFF I'm not sure about this. Not sure about this, Biff Atlas is walking. Not under his own power. But being pushed, by Molly Nerdly. Being lead by the shoulders, Biff is walked into a locker room by Molly and basically dropped off, like a child being left at the door of kindergarten. MOLLY I've done all I can for you Biff. You'll get the help you need here. KNOCK KNOCK! MELODY (deep voice) Who dares to enter my domain? BIFF Uhm... Biff. Spinning around in her awesome gaming chair, Melody turns away from her computer screen and suddenly drops the deep imperious voice. BIFF Molly sent me. She said you could help with my... powers. MELODY Oh em gee, yes! You totally should have come to me sooner. Look, don't be nervous about telling me all the details. I know it's hard for you to be open and honest cause you're worried about getting locked up and put in a cage and having all needles stuck in you and being tested by scientists and stuff, but I'm totally on the side of the mutants man! I ain't gonna sell you out to the paper company. Stick with me and everything's gonna be awesome. BIFF Yeah. The thing is... I'm not sure I really do have powers or not anymore. MELODY Oh. Well, the easiest way to figure out if you do or not is to take an online personality test. That'll tell you everything you need to know. Flipping out her internet phone, Melody taps away. MELODY Okay, Question 1. Do you feel like you have superpowers? BIFF Yes. MELODY Beep beep beep, we've got a superhero! BIFF Are you sure? That certainly didn't seem like a very thorough examination. MELODY That's because I didn't actually give you a test, I was just Twittering to let everyone in the world know what we're up to. Ooh, second thoughts, maybe that wasn't a great idea. Damn you Twitter and your lack of an Undo function! Anyway, I've got the answer to your problems right here. Take this. Reaching into her pocket, Melody pulls out a ring and slips it onto Biff's finger. MELODY This ring will give you the powers you crave Biff. Biff nods his head, looking at the ring in amazement MELODY This ring will make you a monster. BIFF YES! MELODY You will never shake again. You will never cower again. With this ring, you will become the biggest star that this business has ever seen! This ring will ma... BIFF Hang on... this ring is just made of candy. Sighing, Melody slips the ring back off of Biff's finger, puts it back on hers and has a few licks. MELODY Yeah. Duh! But didn't you feel more powerful when I told you it was making you more powerful? BIFF Kinda. MELODY Exactly! You want to know why you can't use your powers? It's because you don't believe in them! All you need is the belief. If you believe you've got superpowers, then guess what, you can use your superpowers! It's all about belief. And I can tell, you ain't got none. You want to be like a superhero, you've got to think like a superhero. BIFF And you can help me do that? MELODY Are you kidding!? I once spent 6 days convinced I was Silver Sable. Then I got silver poisoning. That was an awesome summer holiday. BIFF MELODY Anyway, the point is, I know exactly what you need to do to embrace your powers. Biff looks intrigued, and a little worried, as Melody sends out another tweet. COLE Alix and Krista will be attending the Oscar's this weekend in their hometown of Los Angeles, but before those awards are handed out the trend setting duo won a prize of their own the 2010 Anderson Cup championship! Terry Taylor caught up with them at Nerdly Spectacular after their big victory. Nerdly Spectacular (Patty's note, I wrote this b4 Tony wrote the announcement of the tag title ruling on Syndicated. I thought he was going to do that on HD, so rather than let the segment go to waste I post it here) TERRY Girls, it is my pleasure to say you are the 2010 Anderson Cup champions! How does it feel? ALIX It feels great; we're really enjoying the moment. KRISTA Yeah, its awesome to make history, and become the first females to win the cup. Plus we get to be Anderson Cup champions to some great teams like The Heavenly Rockers, GPX and more. So, yeah, it's a big honor for the both of us. TERRY ALIX Dude, are you okay? TERRY Uh...yes, um...what do you think about your opponents...the Christ Air Express? ALIX Oh, dude, we think they're great. Its such a cool team to be able to face. We really love them lots and lots! TERRY Um..... KRISTA That's right, they're a great bunch of guys and hopefully we can look forward to a great competition at Anglemania. I think we're going to tear the house down and steal the show. TERRY Uh… ALIX Seriously, dude, are you okay? TERRY Yeah....I think. KRISTA Well, anyway, The Christ Air Express did an amazing thing at the Nerdly Spectacular and we couldn't be more proud of them. Good job, boys! We were all rooting for you, and you really pulled through with the big win. TERRY Okay that's it! That's it! KRISTA That's what? TERRY What the hell is this? This...this....this crap! This c-r-a-p! This god damn crap! ALIX Woah! TERRY Where is this "oh its an honor to be Anderson cup champions, oh the express boys are so cool, oh we’re so proud of them and everything in the OAOAST is just ejaculating sunshine!" ...where is this coming from?! Krista where's you saying you'll keep the Anderson Cup trophy next to the septic tank where the rest of the shit goes, and where's Alix saying that's where you guys keep my dignity? Where's you girls bragging about going to the Oscars while Landon Maddix is parading his cheap plastic crown around a bingo hall in North Dakota? What about saying the Nerdly twins share a lot of things, the same hair, the same tights, and the same sexually transmitted diseases? Where's Alix saying you hope beating up the Nerdly twins doesn't piss off their sisters, because how are you supposed to have a post AM orgy without them? KRISTA ALIX An orgy? Good god, man, I'm a devout Catholic I'd never think something so sinful! TERRY This is insane! Insane! I'll kill you if that's what it takes! I'll kill the whole world if you don't start acting normal! Insult me! Slap me! Talk about the time you told me an April fools joke that my mother died, and didn't say April fools until April the 7th! ALIX Terry, we're, like, super diverse parody e-fed performers. KRISTA We have character development, and multi layered personalities. Our characters don't conform to any Chicks Over Dicks rule set you may have concocted in your mind. Don't try to put us in a box. ALIX Buuuuuuut if we were in a box....I bet it rocks. KRISTA I bet it rocks for a jock. It rocks for a fox ALIX It rocks blocking shots on guys with dreadlocks! Suddenly Maya, Jade, Tyler and Shayne appear on the scene! MAYA What comes in this box this box that rocks? ALIX A cheesy gorditia to crunch and munch! JADE And we all scream burrito supreme! TYLER A crunchy taco and cinnamon twists? ALIX Both on the list and wait let me think? An ice cold drink. SHAYNE That is lots and lots for just one box KRISTA And its only five bucks and that's why it rocks. CELEBRATORY DISCO DANCE! KRISTA Terry as hard as it is to believe given the countless hours I've drunkenly berated the lesser sex, and the numerous penises I've threatened and succeeded in "chopping off" we kind of li...li...li...lik...li...ke.....don't totally despise MARV and MEL. And a COD promo can have, some, well negative effects on someone's career. We're sort of like air conditioning; we'll kill your heat. ALIX And, if we emasculate 'em too much their sisters will get pissed, and how are ever gonna have the post AM orgy with them! Think about the orgy, Terry! The importance of the orgy! KRISTA Yeah, Terry, think about the orgy, you'll probably be watching form an unnoticed peep hole from the next room. TERRY Ah all is right in the world. LIVE ACTION RETURNS OAOAST TAG TEAM TITLES LDC MONEYGANG VS THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESS NEXT! COMMERCIAL

As we return from break we're taken for a fly over of the Montreal area, in the background the HeldDOWN~! theme song is heard Independent Woman plays to a decidedly negative response from the fanbase. Pink strobe lights swing across the entrance way highlighting the challenger to the women’s title as she steps onto the entrance stage. Full of bravado and confidence, The Latina Bitch announces to the crowd her intentions on capturing Morgan’s title. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a televisied time limit of twenty minutes and it is for the OAOAST Women’s Championship….now making her way to the ring the challenger….THE LATINA BITCH LINDSAY GONZALEZZZZZZ! Lindsay saunters across the ring apron, laughing at the fans who jeer her so harshly. While they continue to boo her, she ascends to the top turnbuckle and outstretches her arms as a maniacal laughter surges from her mouth. COLE That is one evil woman. COACH And one hot one to! We’re looking at the new OAOAST Women’s Champion and the sexiest one ever. GO! To un-explain the unforgivable, Drain all the blood and give the kids a show. By streetlight this dark night, A séance down below. There are things that I have done, You never should ever know! And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. Suddenly the smile disappears from Lindsay’s face, replaced by look of trepidation as This is How I Disappear thrashes and booms into the arena. Bolts of electricity smash against the dark blue entrance stage while the video screens scream with electrical current. Once the final commanding charge of electricity bombs across the entry way, the entrance doors fly apart. Stepping onto the stage wearing a pinstriped booty shorted romper is the Women’s champion Morgan Nerdly. BUFFER And, her opponent. From Edmonton, Alberta, Canada... she is the current reigning and defending OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION and 2010 FEMALE CHARACTER OF THE YEAR!! Prepare for SHOCK and awe from MMMOOOOOOORRRRRGGAAAAAAANN... NNEEEERRRRRDDLLLLLYYYYYYYY!!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" the raucous cheers drown out any boos that the still heel Morgan may receive from more kayfabe inclined fans. The littlest Nerdly girl enters the ring very slowly, keeping a nervous eye locked on her sneering foe. COLE The tiny terror of Edmonton comes to Montreal to face one tough challenger! Morgan fidgest awkwardly, chewing on her hair in order to try and calm her worried and fearful mind. DING DING DING Morgan rampages across the ring to spear Lindsay to the ground! COLE Woah! “YEAAAAAAAA!” the fans rejoice with Lindsay trying to cope with the agony. She stomachs the pain quickly enough to get towards her feet. But as she rises, Morgan catches hold of her inside a side headlock and whips her to the canvas. Rather than hold onto the basic manuveur, Morgan frees Lindsay in order to rain punches across her face. With each passing blow the fans cheer louder and louder, pleased to see Lindsay get her comeuppance. Concerned over the closed fist, referee Earl Hebner separates Morgan from Lindsay. The Latina Bitch is able to breathe easy, but shoots a vile stare at Morgan in response to the beating. Morgan only stares back fearfully, performing a nervous chewing of her hair. “BOOOOOOOO!” COLE I think these fans wanted to see Morgan get a little more of Lindsay. COACH Savages, Mikey, all of them are savages. Lindsay grabs onto Morgan’s arm and hurls the petite Nerdly girl into the ropes. Lindsay expects to strike with a deadly shoulder. But Morgan stuns her and some of the audience by diving forward with a lariat! Lindsay is floored by the attack, but is rather quickly back to her feet. Unfortunately for The Cana-Rican cupcake Morgan’s platform heels slash into her with a dropkick! COLE Look at the little girl fly! Morgan throws herself against the ropes and bounces back towards a grounded Lindsay. The Toronto native attempts to trip her up, but the champion merely leaps over her extended body. Morgan takes another run of the ropes, but returns to Lindsay making an attempt to hiptoss her. Morgan blocks the attack by firmly planting her heels into the ground. This stuns Lindsay and allows Morgan to easily clothesline her to the canvas! Morgan makes an attempt to smile over her impressive display as the audience cheers Lindsay’s downfall. A pinfall is then made… ONE! The Latina Bitch throws her shoulder off the canvas. COLE I’m surprised Lindsay even kickedout before the two because she got rocked. The attractive Canadian comes back to her feet, but finds herself tangled in a side headlock. Morgan wrenches on the hold, as she whips her head back to keep her hair out her baby blue eyes. Lindsay places her hands on the rear end of Morgan’s booty shorted romper and attempts to push her into the ring ropes. Morgan, however, holds firm, dropping to a knee to prevent the push. COLE Lindsay has got to able to use her size against Morgan. COACH Are you calling her fat? COLE No! I’m saying Morgan is so small that her opponents would be wise to use that to their advantage. Lindsay wraps her arms around Morgan’s thin waist and raises her into the air in hopes of executing a back suplex. But with her grip still around Lindsay’s head, Morgan is able to shoot her body forward and bulldog her foe! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Morgan springs to her feet and shies away from the fans’ cheers, unsure how to handle them. Her preoccupation with the OAOAST Galaxy comes at a price as Lindsay begins slugging her in her stomach. Red welts appear on the exposed section of her stomach, evidence of Lindsay’s power. With Morgan wobbling through her dizziniess, Lindsay takes a step backwards and plays to the hostile audience. “WE HATE CRACKWHORES! WE HATE CRACKWHORES! WE HATE CRACKWHORES!” COACH Mikey, they shouldn’t make fun of your mother like that. COLE Shut up. Using her anger with the audience to fuel her fire, Lindsay surges forward with the Maple Leaf Makeover(superkick)! But Morgan ducks bellow the deadly signature strike and succeeds in hauling Lindsay onto her shoulders! “OOOOOOOOH!” the fans ready themselves for the pain inducing attack known as the Shock and Awe. However, the fans expectations were a bit premature; Lindsay wiggles tight well muscled bodyand finds her way behind Morgan. Without wasting a single second, The Latina Bitch drives Morgan backwards with a side Russian leg sweep. She then hooks onto Morgan’s bare legs and demands Hebner make a count… ONE! TWO! Morgan throws her shoulder off the canvas with mere seconds until defeat. Frustrated with the failed pin, Lindsay lays her black boots into Morgan’s skull. This draws boos from the audience, though Lindsay quickly shushes them. The mega hot Canadian then grabs onto Morgan’s legs and slingshots the little lady into the corner. With Morgan pressed against the turnbuckle posts, Lindsay charges forward to crush her with a body splash. Morgan whimpers as the pain spreads through her back. COACH No fat jokes, you lying jerk. COLE I never called her fat! Morgan stumbles out the corner, clutching her back and paying very minimal attention to Lindsay. For this reason, The Latina Bitch climbs to the second rope where she plays to the sold-out audience. Their response is less than pleasurable to the challenger, who offers them a fierce sneer. Once the audience is taken care of, Lindsay flies off the top rope with an axe handle smash. But Morgan ducks bellow the attack, causing Lindsay to errantly teeter forward. Her movement is put to a sudden halt with Morgan clamping down on her with a rear waistlock. The tiny Nerdly girl’s intention is on executing a German Suplex. However, she fails in that effort, as Lindsay breaks free of the hold to whip around to Morgan’s backside. Now its Lindsay who holds the rear waistlock, and Morgan is instantly put into panic mode. Her fears are well founded, as Lindsay bridges backwards and German Suplexes the champion into the turnbuckles. The pain settles in immediately forcing a defeated shriek through the champ’s thin lips. COACH Damn, girl. Lindsay is as deadly as she is sexy. Lookin’ good and whuppin’ good. Lindsay lays in several stomps purely out of anger and disdain for her opponent. With Morgan seemingly battered beyond repair, Lindsay places her index finger on her chest for a cocky pin… ONE! TWO Morgan finds a way to kickout! COLE Lindsay’s arrogance just came back to bite her in the BUTT. COACH And what a fine BUTT it is! Lindsay pulls Morgan to her feet, taunting her with the cruelest of insults. As she continues to mock poor Morgan, she throws her foe’s head into the turnbuckle. Repeated efforts escape a warning from the referee. Its only when Lindsay grows tired of the tactic does Morgan get a brief reprieve. With Morgan hobbled over and hindered by a throbbing headache, Lindsay retreats to the ropes. When she returns she finds that Morgan isn’t as week as she suspected; the champion takes her out with a dropkick! COLE Lindsay wasn’t expecting that one! Morgan runs her hands through her hair and nervously nods to herself. This bout of anxiety affords Lindsay with the time needed to head to her feet. She offers a pair of jabs to Morgan, but the cute Nerdly girl swats them away. This sets Lindsay off balance, and as she struggles to regain her center Morgan swings behind her. A waistlock causes a look of panic to grip Lindsay’s face. From that hold, Morgan charges Lindsay into the ropes expecting to be able to roll her up. But Lindsay grabs onto the top cables, and Morgan awkwardly falls back to the canvas. In celebration of her ring “smarts” Lindsay raises her arms to the French Canadian fanbase. “Demi-mondaine! Demi-mondaine! Demi-mondaine!” Uncertain as to the meaning of the audience’s chants (even I forgot what it means!) , Lindsay merely assumes they’re in her favor and happily resumes her title hunt. She rips Morgan off the canvas by her thick golden hair and shoots her into the ropes. Morgan ducks a lariat on the rebound and leaps onto the third rope. As Lindsay turns around she’s crashed into by Morgan’s small body and brought down in a heap to the canvas. Morgan then hooks the leg for the all important pinfall… ONE! TWO! Lindsay kicksout before Hebner can reach three. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Scowling over her near defeat, Lindsay hastily hurries upright. She’s met with a pair of elbow strikes, but easily shrugs those aside to damage Morgan with a knife edge chop. She then hooks Morgan into a front facelock and from there falls backwards to crash her skull into the canvas with a DDT. Morgan’s head screams with anguish after the move. Lindsay is quite content with this and makes another casual cover… ONE! TWO! Morgan makes her way out of another pinfall! COLE You’d think the so called “manager of champions” would know by now to at least hook the leg for a pinfall. COACH Spoken like a true homo. COLE COACH Only homos hook legs, ol juicy juice ass nigga. Lindsay leads Morgan off the canvas all while softening her up with elbows to her svelte midsection. Morgan is thrown inside another facelock, as Lindsay signals to her one fan in the audience. “YEAH LINDSAY!” the one fan shouts “EAT A DONKEY DICK, CRACKER!” another replies, silencing the lone Lindsay mark. With Lindsay distracted by the odd exchange, Morgan is able to summon all her strength and run Lindsay into the far corner. With the fans cheering her on, Morgan attempts to shoulder Lindsay in the stomach. But The Latina Bitch is resourceful and sneaky and rolls up Morgan into a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Morgan pops out the pinfall. This finds itself frustrating Lindsay, who kicks at the turnbuckle posts in response. Calming herself down somewhat, Lindsay drags Morgan up by the seat of booty shorted romper. She stuns Morgan with a pair of cruel slaps, before running to the ropes. As she comes back she nails Morgan in the face with a dangerous elbow that sends the champion tumbling through the middle ropes. Morgan has a hard landing on the ring apron, and whimpers as she tries to battle back against the pain. COLE What great strength and courage shown by Morgan tonight. COACH What a great body shown by Lindsay! COLE Morgan is very cute herself. No hetero. Morgan finds the strength and will needed to drag herself upright. But the moment she does so she’s taken hold into a front facelock. Within seconds Lindsay is bringing her into the air for a vertical suplex. But Morgan shifts her body and comes down across Lindsay’s chest with a lateral press. As the audience cheers the potentially match ending move, Hebner makes a pinfall count. ONE! TWO! Lindsay throws Morgan off her, showcasing impressive strength. COLE These two ladies fighting for the right to go to Anglemania as women’s champion! COACH Except one, the blond one, is fighting a losing battle. Morgan brings herself off the canvas, breathing heavily and glancing fearfully at her surroundings. Lindsay picks up on this fear and begins battering her in the back with forearms. Morgan lurches forward in pain, crying out to the arena air. Her problems continue to mount as Lindsay begins setting her up for the The Latina Bitch Jam (stratusfaction). She runs forward to the ropes, leaping onto the third cable. But as she spins around, Morgan captures control and throws her off! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” Morgan sags back against the ropes, her mouth held agape in weariness and her body trembling nervously. COACH Mikey, I thought we were going to see a title change. COLE Here in the province of Quebec Morgan is fighting with all the strength in her little body! Frustrated beyond control, Lindsay shoves referee Hebner aside to get to Morgan. She fires off a series of forearm smashes that weaken Morgan. From there The Latina Bitch begins situating Morgan into the setup for the Bitchslap (The Stroke) LINDSAY Someone’s about to get smacked up! That someone isn’t Morgan, however, as the champion suddenly breaks free of Lindsay’s grip in order to haul her onto her shoulders. “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Shock and Awe? But a furious Lindsay shifts her body to begin setting up for the Lindsay-Carana! “BOOOOOOOO!” However, Morgan out muscles her, shocking Lindsay as she’s taken into a standing fireman’s carry. The fans leap to their feet as the lethal hold known as the Shock and Awe (F-U) is executed! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Morgan hooks Lindsay’s leg with Montreal counting along… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” BUFFER Your winner as a result of pinfall and still Women’s champion…MORGAN NERDLYYYYYYYY! The fans delight once more as the champion’s hand is raised in glorious victory. COLE Morgan has done it! Morgan has done it! COACH I don’t know how. Everything was going Lindsay’s way. Everything! Morgan gathers up her women’s title, taking it quickly yet carefully as though it were a wounded animal. She clutches it tightly to her chest, gazing wide eyed at the audience that applauds her tremendous accomplishment. Yet all is not right in the land of the OAOAST, all thanks to Josie Baker’s appearance on stage. JOSIE Well, well, you actually did it. You beat Lindsay Gonzalez. Clean. 1-2-3. Impressive to most of you, but very unfortunate for you Morgan. Had you done the right thing, and played ball, dropping the title you could’ve escaped the OAOAST with what little dignity you have left. Now? Now things are different. Now you get to come face to face with your destroyer. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” JOSIE Now you can meet the person that will spell your doom, and the end of your unfortunate OAOAST existence. There’s a long drawn out pause that only increases the anxiety and angst presence within this capacity crowd. Diamonds are forever They won't leave in the night I've no fear that they might Desert me [Chorus] Diamonds are forever (forever, forever) Throw your diamonds in the sky if you feel the vibe Diamonds are forever (forever, forever, forever) The Roc is still alive every time I rhyme. Forever ever? Forever ever? Ever, ever? Ever, ever? Ever, ever? Ever, ever?...... COLE Could it be? Could it be? A sparkling crystal cocoon lowers from the ceiling, wowing the audience in its resplendent majesty. Morgan isn’t impressed by the fanciful pageantry, rather she shifts nervously, wanting to be anywhere but Montreal. COLE This is amazing. The cocoon touches down shimmering with a dazzling heavenliness that draws out gasps of amazement from the still standing audience. Morgan’s hands tremble, her lips tremor, and her hands clutch her title as though it were the very source of her life blood. JOSIE Open it! Let her meet her end! The cocoon begins splintering apart, revealing past its shimmering shell as figured clad in black huddled up. Moments stretch out to seem like minutes as this figure remains hidden from the curious view of the audience. JOSIE Show yourself! Right on command the figure springs to its feet showing them to be long lost OAOAST superstar…CRYSTAL “OOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” the fans react, scarcely able to believe the sight that lies before them. Crystal stares down Morgan with cutthroat rage burning through her blue eyes. Morgan can’t call upon the strength or might to face down this OAOAST legend and meekly backs away. Morgan’s fear draws a simple and small smile across the former world champion’s face. JOSIE Well, Morgan, it seems you have your opponent for Anglemania! “OOOOOOOOOOOH!” COLE Wow! COACH Wow is right! The scene fades to black with Crystal’s gaze continuing to fill Morgan with a hollow fear. COMMERCIAL

As announced on syndicated Vinny Valentine Vs Alix Maria Spezia for the US Title

Figure we'd shove it off until Friday or Saturday Womens Title Lindsay Gonzalez Vs Morgan Nerdly if Morgan wins she comes face to face with the person behind the Destroy Morgan messages.

***Vinny Valentine Vs Simon Singleton W/Molly Nerdly*** This contest was booked to determine who would face Alix for the US Title on HeldDOWN~! The early portions of the contest belonged to Simon as he easily out wrestled Vinny Valentine. The middle section of the contest wasn’t any kinder to Vinny as Simon seemed on the way to victory. Unfortunately while SS may have been able to out wrestle Vinny, he couldn’t out cheat him. A shot to the lower part of his stomach by Singleton, caused Vinny to act as if he was low blowed. The referee, tricked by V-Squared, called for an immediate DQ. Winner: Vinny Valentine, via DQ HOT NEWS this week: the decision to overturn the CAE's tag title win at the Nerdly Spectacular. It was ruled the LDC Moneygang had been disqualified prior to the pinfall occurring, which went unnoticed as Clem Buzzlefoxer struggled to re-enter the ring after being shoved out by Spencer Reiger. A rematch was announced for HeldDOWN~! Promos from both teams followed, with the LDC Moneygang running down the CAE and the CAE promising to bring home the gold... again. Reject is walking backstage, when he spots Malaysia Nerdly. He approaches her, and lets her know that despite what happened with Mr. Dick, none of the Deadly Alliance members had a problem with her, and in fact would like her to stay on with the group if she so chose. Reject said he would give her a choice, and that he would understand if she chose to stay with MD. He told her to think about it, and give him an answer on HeldDOWN~! With no one to interview for the next segment Alix and Maya were forced to resort to drastic measures! Instead of asking the 10 different champions on the roster, Alix and Maya sent out a search party to find the most interesting subject . That interesting subject was Tony Tourettes. Tony explained to the two how he found new digs in the basement of a library in New York. He said his wife was complaining but his kids get a great education with the ability to read any book they want! Better yet the space heater made a fantastic stove! And the numerous cockraoaches make a tasty after dinner treat! Plus he’s able to cop wings from the local Chinese place around the corner that everyone thinks is frying rats. ***MARIACHI Vs ABDULLAH ABIR NERDLY W/QUIZ*** A poor start damned his holiness as Mariachi was able to inflict horrible humiliation with a dry humping escapade! AAN was so spooked by the assault he made a hasty attempt to escape. But Mariachi caught hold of him, and delivered swift justice with a fierce beating. Interference from Quiz afforded Abdullah Abir Nerdly with the chance to take over the contest. However that window of opportunity slammed shut with doomful quickness. Mariachi then struck gold with the Martinete (Cradle Tombstone Piledriver)! This signature attack earned him a pinfall victory. Winner: Mariachi, via pinfall Post match did not treat Mariachi quite as well. Quiz stormed into the ring to lay down a ferocious beating. The mauling ended with Quiz hitting the Pop Quiz (running powerbomb) and sending Mariachi flying over the top rope. Paramedics rushed to ringside to treat the fallen luchadore as Quiz gloated over his accomplishment.

Anyone need it? I'll write if you write, as always. Tony and I are switching up the format a bit. Instead of interviews on the podium with Tony, interviews are gonna be conducted with Alix and her sidekick Maya at a talk show set in LA. The interviews can be funny, serious, or whatever you want them to be. If you want to do any variety show type segment that'd also be appreciated because that's how Tony and I envisioned the show.

Good opening segment, setup the mainevent segment very well and left intrigue as to what might happen later in the night. I was hoping for gay sex. I was wrong. Great stuff in the first round of the KOTR tournament, everyone did a great job of writing their respective matches. I got so sick of writing mine, I was actually enjoying the countdown till the very end! I didn't think CPA would go over Cash that was surprising. Actually I'm surprised CPA was even in the thing, I thought Bosley would get the spot between the two. As Alf said that was a huge upset in the tag title match. Mama Nerdly's boys struck gold! Super fast action in this contest, I thought the teams did a good job of meshing well together, credit that to Tony. lol@ greybeard clem getting sonned by a dude like 70 yrs his younger, SR don't respect his elders, no, no. Did we lose James Riggs vs prl somewhere along the line? I thought I saw that graphic in there. I know I did one! Damn it don't try to discredit me, you bastards! Thought the KOTR final was pure healthy OAOAST goodness. I've known the winner for a looooooooong time (since before the thing was even proposed to the rest of you) but I still enjoyed reading the ending and the suspense of it all. I'm still salty Vinny Valentine wasn't included, tho. That shit ain't fair. I liked Queen Esther's involvement as well. We start off the show hot and we end the show hot. It was great to see the old Lonestar Gunslingers back together again with Tim Cash making an appearance as well.

That intro was genius!

Tony you're posting the show, so what does the set look like? ANDERSON CUP FINALS The Heavenly Rockers Vs Chicks Over Dicks EVENING GOWN PILLOW FIGHT TEAM NERDLY (Morgan, Maggie, Molly, Melody) Vs DEATH TO NERDLIES (Lorelei, Lindsay, Queen Esther, Holly) Can Melissa be the announcer for this event instead of Buffer?

Joining Sofa central for the upcoming match is [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/c77cd9c6.jpg] [B]Maya Duncan-Blanchard![/B] and [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/NS/d6ca61d9.jpg] [b]Jade Rodez-Duncan[/b] COLE Maya, Jade, its great to have you on board here at the Nerdly Spectacular. MAYA Eh, Jumbo just ripped a big one in the Interview Lounge and the hazmat crew hasn’t showed up. They evacuated most of us, but some brave souls may have lost their lunch to Jumbo’s lethal weapon. The camera pans around the ring, revealing it be decorated as though it were someone’s bedroom. A queen sized bed lays in the center of the ring, surrounded by bean bags, pillows, and resting on a purple and red rug. MELISSA Edmonton, Alberta it is time for an evening gown pillow fight match! This contest occurs under elimination rules and for every gown ripped off an opponent each team is awarded one thousand dollars! [size=5][b][color="#008000"]M O N E Y[/color][/b][/size] [b][i]So sexy[/i][/b] [i][color="#008000"]Damn, I love the jam, the jet and the mansion. (Oh yeah) And I enjoy the gifts and the trips to the islands.(Oh yeah) Its good to live expensive You know it, but my knees get weak intensive When you give me k-kisses Thats money honey, Well I'm your lover and your mistress Thats money honey When you touch me, its so delicious Thats money honey Baby when you tell me the pieces Thats money honey [/color][/i] The neon entrance stage flares with bright green and yellow lights that herald the arrival of Lorelei DeCenzo, wearing her favorite strapless yellow gown and her usual contemptuous smirk. MELISSA Introducing first, from Manhattan Beach, California she is THE MONEY HONEY…LORELEI DECENZO! “BOOOOOOOO!” The opening beats of Independent Woman welcome Lindsay Gonzalez to the arena, while the audience welcomes her with disgusted boos. PRL's former lady love is attired in a coral colored beaded waist gown that glows brightly among the flashing white lights. She traverses through the skating rink, doing her best to ensure none of the unseemly fans may touch her. MELISSA Form Toronto, Ontario, Canada, she is The Latina Bitch….LINDSAY GONZALEZZZ! COLE Lindsay will be facing Morgan for the women’s title next week, live on HeldDOWN~! MAYA And if Morgan [i]wins[/i] she has to come face to face with the person behind the destroy Morgan messages. JADE What rotten luck. Disney’s [i][url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWi-65mP32Q"]That’s how you know[/url][/i] brings a very unique and unusual sound to the OAOAST Galaxy. Queen Esther merrily jogs onto the entrance stage, for once looking slightly normal in her poofy white gown. The smiling royal curtsies to the audience, expecting them to grant her the same kindness. Sadly all she receives in return is a middle finger and a few invites for fellatio. Living in a constant state of denial, Esther assures herself those comments couldn't dare be meant for her. MELISSA Hailing from London England, she is QUEEEEEN ESTHEEERRRRR! The atmosphere in the arena goes from pleasant and polite to disruptive and vulgar as “[url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98xuekYYiAM"]Now I’m That Bitch[/url]” screams over the audience NOW I’M THAT [color="#FF0000"]BITCH[/color] NOW I’M THAT [color="#FF0000"]BITCH[/color] NOW I’M THAT [color="#FF0000"]BITCH[/color] NOW I’M THAT [color="#FF0000"]BITCH[/color] The OAOAST mashup machine pushes itself to its most violent limits as Another Body Murdered rocks into the arena. Entrance doors shred apart, and not a moment too soon as the always unpleasant Holly storms through them. Even in her gold metallic lace gown, The Angel Of Death strikes an imposing and evil figure. MELISSA And introducing their final teammate she comes from Sin City, she is HOOOLLLLLLYYYYYY! Three of the girls discuss strategy as they test out the buoyancy of the silk covered bed. The other girl spews profanities at the referee over infractions that haven’t even happened yet. 3 guesses as to which one that girl is! The dizzyingly frantic symbols and the ripping adrenaline of [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhJ7b4WJ9Ok"]“This Is How I Disappear”[/url] flow into the arena like a volcanic eruption. COLE Nerdlies in the house! Booyah! MAYA Hey, Jade, looks like we found someone whiter than you. JADE I can get down with the homies, isn’t that for rizzle dizzle, Coachizzle? COACH Girl, you just made my penis soft. [i][color="#00BFFF"][b]GO! To un-explain the unforgivable, Drain all the blood and give the kids a show. By streetlight this dark night, A séance down below. There are things that I have done, You never should ever know! And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now[/b].[/color][/i] Nerdly power is activated with the arrival of the Nerdly family foursome. The audience leaps to their feet granting the girls a grand hometown reception. Numerous signs that profess love for each Nerdly sprout like wild flowers in the garden of the stands. In a sign of commanlity, the OAOAST’s most dysfunctional family wears the same silver lace and satin gowns. Of course arguments ensue over which girl does in fact wear the gown with the most stunning grace. MELISSA And now, please welcome my less attractive sisters, my whorish sisters….They come from right here in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, they are MOLLY NERDLY, MAGGIE NERDLY, PLAYER ONE MELODY NERDLY, AND THE OAOAST WOMEN’S CHAMPION…MORGAN NERDLY THEY ARE THE NERDLY SISTERRRRSSSSSSS! COACH Here comes what I love the most. MAYA I don’t see any cocaine. JADE And I don’t see any prostitutes. COACH No! Hot Nerdly girls about to get stripped buck naked! Another mammoth ovation climbs out the stands, helped by Melody and Maggie firing up the raucous audience. Molly busies herself with fiddling with a digital camera to record the festivities, while Morgan sheepishly hides and tries not to be seen. COLE Maya, who do you have your money on? MAYA Gambling is a scourge that first drains man of his money, when the money is gone it drains him of his pride, when the pride is gone it drains him of his love, when the love is gone it drains him of his life. When the life is gone there’s no more soul left to drain. COLE …….How’s school coming? MAYA Good, we made igloos out of Popsicle sticks in art class. DING DING DING Lorelei lunges at Maggie to begin the contest. However the smaller Nerdly evades the attack and Lorelei falls straight onto the bean bag. This is a precarious position for Lorelei to be in as Maggie begins tugging at her evening gown. Long splendid legs are almost on display with Maggie ripping at the fabric. Unfortunately for both audience and Maggie, Holly beats Maggie away with a zebra print pillow. Beyond this, Queen Esther is bouncing on the bed, enjoying herself immensely. Seeing her partner in trouble she literally springs onto action and jumps forth to strike Maggie down with an axe handle smash to the back. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!“ With Maggie prone on the ground, Holly comes up with a devilishly genius scheme. She hooks onto Maggie’s legs then bridges backwards to slingshot her towards Queen Esther, who holds a cylindrical pillow. As Maggie shoots forward, the Queen takes a wild swipe with her pillow! But she’s unfortunately tackled to the ground by the baby of the Nerdly family! “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans scream as the two divas become entangled. Maggie begins hammering away at the poor English girl with powerful fists, showing little in the way of mercy. Fortunately for Esther she’s saved before too much harm can befall her. Holly grabs onto the red strands of Maggie’s highlighted hair and angrily peels her from the Royal Highness. “LET’S GO NERDLIES! LET’S GO NERDLIES! LET’S GO NERDLIES!” the fans sing causing Queen Esther to shush them. This, however, only makes the audience even more enthused to root on the hometown girls. Now Holly is enraged and is slightly less polite than Queen Esther in telling the OAOAST Marks to be quiet. All the distraction over the audience's support allows Maggie to escape Holly’s clutches. But Maggie is now forced to deal with the problem of Queen Esther taking swipes her with her long pillow. Unfortunately for Esther her aim is rather miserable and she misses Maggie entirely as the baby of the Nerdly family hops onto the bed. Maggie then spring boards back to bowl over both Holly and Queen Esther with double lariats! Together the two groan in misery, with Holly seething over Maggie’s impressive showing. The “It” Girl leaps to her feet and flashes the RAWK~! signal to her hometown fans. “NERDLIES! NERDLIES! NERDLIES!” COLE The fans are really rooting on the Nerdlies! MAYA Possibly because half of them [i]are[/i] Nerdlies! Elsewhere Lindsay traps Morgan in the corner, whacking her with powerful blows from a silk-cased pillow. Morgan covers up but soon realizes that will do little to stop Lindsay from pummeling her with the pillow. Thus Morgan summons all her strength and springs forward to spear Lindsay away. The two topple over an inflatable Edmonton Oilers chair, hiking up their gowns in the process and giving the audience just a small sneak peek at their silken skin. The ladies are back up to their feet rather quickly. It is Morgan who strikes first capturing Lindsay inside a front facelock. She then bridges backwards to land a vertical suplex against the queen size bed. Realizing that may not hurt as much as she intended, Morgan leaps onto the bed and and attempts to drop elbow onto Lindsay’s sternum. But Lindsay moves out the way and quickly targets Morgan with mounted punches. Unfortunately this leaves her defenseless and Morgan begins to yank away the top of her gown to showcase just a small look at Lindsay’s sizzling chest to the sold out audience. Shrieking, Lindsay immediately dismounts Morgan and covers up the source of the audience’s pleasure. “BOOOOOOOOO!“ Less lucky is Molly, who’s been beaten down with a sparkling decorative pillow by Lorelei. The brains of the Enterprise makes a motion of removing clothes, earning her a rare cheer from the audience. It isn’t long before the cheers erupt into magnificent delight; Molly’s tight and stacked body becomes more visible with each shred of clothing Lorelei tears away. The fans sit in wonderment as Molly’s creamy perfect skin is bared for the all the world to salivate over. Her undergarment of choice is pleasantly reveling yet oddly confusing construction worker costume. None of this matters much to Lorelei as she shoves her old friend beneath the ropes, happy to be rid of her. MAYA Sometimes I do that to Jade, just strip her and kick her out the door. I prefer to wait till the groundskeeping crew arrives to maximize the potential humiliation. Elsewhere Holly and Lindsay have ganged up on poor Morgan and terrorize the women’s champion by launching the bean bag at her! Morgan thankfully is able to duck the attack, however poor Melody is hit by the beanbag and knocked to the floor. Sensing and opportunity for victory, Esther pounces upon poor Melody with the ferocity of lion. Displaying never before seen intensity, Esther has her claws working feverishly to tear away Melody’s outfit. It’s the audience that’s truly rewarded as Melody’s oiled up body is left with its all its beauty exposed. But Esther is confused by her choice of bra: [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/6802aae3.gif] ESTHER Good sweet heavens what is that? MELODY I’ve managed to combine the best of the iphone and Frederick’s of Hollywood. I’ve created the….get ready for it…..[b]i[/b]bra! MOLLY (from the outside) Oh I bet Alexander Graham Bell is somewhere in heaven crying with jealously. MELODY Ignore the ugly child, I must. Give it a run, Queen Esther, and marvel at my magnificent genius! The queen dials a few numbers, tickling Melody with her firm touch in the process. But when the queen finishes dialing, all that happens is water squirts out from the buttons splashing her in the face! COLE Oh my! The queen wasn’t expecting that. MAYA I’d be more worried if she WERE expecting that. Its like “hey I think I’ll go to Victoria’s Secret and try on this, lalalala, I like the padding, I like the lace UH-OH this bra sprayed me with Evian!” Melody seizes on the temporary blindness the queen has suffered from and makes a mad bid for her clothes. Away goes the queen’s exorbitant gown reducing her to her bra and nothing else…. [IMG=http://i47.tinypic.com/3090fwm.jpg] CROWD :o Understandably horrified, Queen Esther grabs her dress to shield her womanly charms and dives out the ring as though it were set ablaze. Moving at record speed, Esther sprints up the entrance ramp, horrified that every member of the audience has their eyes locked onto her well shaped body. MELISSA Queen Esther has been eliminated...I guess. COACH I didn’t mind the view one bit but that’s just not fair. Melody cheated! MAYA Don't think so, Coachie pie! We all have to know Melody’s personality by now, Queen Esther has no right to be mad. Its like if Grover caught some of Oscar's crap and just unleashed on poor Oscar. Its not Oscar’s fault Grover doesn’t know he lives in a garbage can and is a stinky jerk, its public info! Not having much time to celebrate over Esther's elimination is Morgan who’s trapped in the corner once again. This time he’s held hostage by the swinging pillows of Holly and Lorelei. The pillows bash against her head, sending her blond hair flaying back and forth and causing her great discomfort. But Morgan is resilient and throws a punch through the wave of pillows that knocks Lorelei to the ground! The audience wildly applauds Morgan for the sight of Lorelei getting her comeuppance. Morgan then shifts her assault to Holly and nails her with a dropkick! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” Morgan scrapes Lorelei off the canvas and shoves her shoulder first into the corner. Lorelei hollers in anguish, as her shoulder connects with the cold steel posts. Morgan hasn't a chance to inflict any more pain on her rival before Holly comes darting towards her. Morgan is well prepared for her however, grabbing onto her thick reddish hair and slamming her into the corner. Morgan then ferociously bashes Holly into the posts above Lorelei, causing great pain to the Angel Of Death. However, as her body rubs against Lorelei's, the Money Honey is able to take pleasure in Holly's pain LORELEI [img=http://4gifs.com/gallery/d/43863-4/Clothed_doggystyle.gif] Unfortunately for Lorelei but thankfully for Holly, Lindsay ends any further efforts to repeat the move by driving her shoulder into Morgan’s knees. Forced to release Holly, Morgan crumples to the canvas and in a wealth of pain. Insult is soon added to injury as Lindsay begins pulling away at Morgan’s long dress. This earns a large ovation from the audience, who are dying to see Morgan’s petite and cute body in a titillating stage of undress. Painfully shy, Morgan tries her hardest to remain clothed by attempting to slither out the ring. Lindsay is tenacious however, tugging on her, as though a bottom less Morgan was worth its weight in gold. Morgan can only hold so long before her mouth watering goods are on display for all pleasured eyes.... [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/4a47653c.jpg] But glee over Morgan’s pint-sized beauty is tempered when she is shoved out the ring by her archrival Lindsay. COLE Lindsay is becoming quite the problem for many OAOAST superstars, especially with her managing the Can-Am Assassins. MAYA I honestly feel very bad for anyone having their career managed by her, its a bit like having your investment portfolio managed by a hobo living in a boxcar. The only Nerdlies left in the ring, Maggie and Melody, put aside their long standing differences to charge at Lorelei and Holly with double lariats. Holly and Lorelei are easily floored and left in annoying and nagging pain by the attack. MELODY WHO’S GOT THE POWER? “NERDLY POWER! NERDLY POWER! NERDLY POWER!” Bursting to life, Lindsay makes a mad and sudden dash with a raised pillow towards Melody. “HADOKEN!” Melody screams. Unfortunately you can’t throw fireballs in real life and Melody is knocked to the ground by a quick swipe of the pillow. As the Edmonton OAOAST Marks slam her with jeers, The Latina Bitch whacks and whacks Melody with the pillow! COLE It wouldn’t surprise me if that pillow were loaded! MAYA Who the heck would be desperate enough to load a pillow? JADE So says the girl who greases the Wii board so I can’t beat her record on Shaun White snowboarding! Finally help comes in the form of Maggie who begins tearing at Lindsay’s gown. The flimsily fabric is easily torn through with Maggie’s furious effort. Lindsay fights with ferocious intensity, but this only makes Maggie more determined to get her out her gown. With each second more and more of Lindsay’s golden brown skin is revealed to the world. The fans move ever closer to the edge of their seat seeking to get a better look at the fine Latina body hidden beneath that silk dress. But instead they’re given a full frontal few Papa Nerdly’s finest work, as Maggie’s body is laid bare by a sudden swipe by Holly: [img=http://avril-source.com/gallery/albums/photoshoots/2008/maximmagazine/005.jpg] Holly hooks Maggie into a front facelock, and grabs hold of her bare legs. Swinging Maggie around, Holly drills her to the canvas with [b]The Mirage[/b] (swinging fisherman’s suplex) The referee moves into position to count the pinfall…. ONE! TWO! In order to distract the referee Melody gets a little bouncy….. MELODY [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/NS/6001f057.gif] MAYA Celestial bosoms sparkling with the sumptuous gleam of thin perspiration jounce to stir one’s sexual inner savagery. COLE Wow that was good. And Jade? JADE Umm….her boobies are bouncing. Wildly outraged by this intrusion, Holly gets up to argue with the official. Her words are strewn with threats of violence and riddled with profanity. The referee threatens disqualification over unsportsmanlike conduct, but this does little to halt Holly’s tirade. What does end her verbose litany of complaints is Maggie throwing a wild lariat at her. The two beautiful ladies are slung over the ropes with tremendous force, coming down in a heap of rhinestone, glitter, and lace. COLE What a tumble Holly and Maggie just took! MAYA If announcers had stats you’d have a triple double off just stating the obvious. JADE Heh, and if announcers were animals you’d be a, um, aardvark, Michael. MAYA What? JADE It just looks like the kind of animal that’d state the obvious if it could talk......I’ll just be sitting in the corner crying for the rest of the match if you need me. Despite being lariated, Holly is first to her feet. She seethes with anger, her rage turning her face a deep crimson to match her hair. But her wrath fails to be executed as Maggie begins slashing at her with vicious punches. However, Holly moves with feral ferocity and seizes Maggie’s bra with the iron tug of a hockey fight. The bra struggles remain on Maggie’s body, bringing out loud and enthusiastic cheers from the Edmonton fans. Her chest heaves and bounces fabulously with each pull, but stubbornly refuses to rid itself of the bra. Growing frustrated with Maggie’s resistance, Holly abandons her efforts much to the crowd’s dismay. Elsewhere outside, Molly and Morgan are discussing strategies, while the audience enjoys full views of their thonged behinds. MOLLY By George, I have an idea that could very well win us this contest! I need a distraction to perform my trickery, though. Morgan, you have to dance atop the announce table. MORGAN I don’t dance. MOLLY Tonight you will. You will dance for freedom! Morgan meekly climbs atop the French announce table, and begins a small frightened shimmy. While Morgan struggles through her dance Molly fishes beneath the ring, a more than pleasing adventure thanks to the camel toe her sheer thong sports. Cutting short the audience bootytastic view Molly fishes out a drill! Her eyes flicker with strange glee as she holds up her tool in wonderment. COACH Molly has a power tool and I wouldn’t mind powering my tool into her. MAYA I’m sorry Coach but there comes a time when everyman looks in the mirror and has to realize his mating ceiling is the retarded girl who takes the tickets at the movie theatre. Now is that time. MOLLY Morgan, you must dance better! MORGAN I can’t! MOLLY Someone told you you can’t! I’m telling you, you can! You can dance with the feeling, the passion, the raison d’etre, the very essence of Morgan Nerdly. Dance, child, dance! MORGAN [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/808dfffb.gif] While Morgan actually manages to cut a rug, Molly sneakily does some handy work on the French announce table. MOLLY [IMG=http://i47.tinypic.com/mkw0tv.jpg] With a thin wooden plank in hand, Molly heads back towards the ring. Inside the squared circle Melody is bouncing on the bed, her jiggling chest threatening to break through its lacy constraints. The crowd may be occupied by Melody’s hooterrific jugs, but there’s a fierce battle going on between her and Lorelei. Each swings pillows as if they were swinging axes at trees. Their incredible fierceness and strength allows them to stay upright, even as the other tries their damndest to take her head off. JADE Lorelei’s done a pretty good job of remaining clothed. MAYA That’s because no one’s slipped a twenty in her bra. Ba-da-boom-chow I’m on fire tonight! Beyond Melody’s view, Lindsay has elevated herself onto the top rope. She hunches over, eyes narrowed, breath heavy, ready to uncoil and strike down Melody with a mighty attack. However, unbeknownst to Melody and an inattentive referee, aid has come her way in the form of her younger sister. Molly takes the plank of wood she got from the announce table and whacks Lindsay in the back! The fans shriek in glee, and Lindsay shrieks in agony as she’s tossed onto the canvas! While Lindsay writhes around on the mat, desperate for the pain to cease, Molly assumes her old position on the ring posts. MOLLY For art! For passion! For beauty! For soul I bare my chest to the world! [img=http://www.E-Imagesite.com/Files2/breastsimage-E9C4_4B7F93308308343.gif] Topless but tasseled, Molly leaps forward with a body splash! However Lindsay rolls out the way, causing Molly to make an awkward landing on her feet. Eager to take advantage of the near naked babe, Lindsay scrambles towards her feet. She lunges out for Molly with all her speed. However, she isn’t fast enough to counteract Morgan who takes her onto her shoulders! In dire need of an escape, Lindsay thrashes against Morgan’s grip. Her need to be free pushes her as far as grabbing onto Morgan’s underwear and yanking it up. This gives Morgan a slight charge and the audience an extra special view of her lean BUTT. But Morgan only allows it for so long before she throws Lindsay down with the [b]Shock and Awe[/b]! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” the audience erupts as Morgan makes the pinfall…. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! MELISSA Lindsay Gonzalez has been eliminated! This brings forth another large celebration from the capacity audience. COACH You gotta at least get the clothes off her! MAYA Yeah, if you’re into weird spots on a girls chest and white crap on her arm pits. But I think you’d prefer if your girl didn’t have arm pit hair that looked like the Himalayan mountains. I am on a role! Meanwhile Lorelei has Melody set up in a standing fireman’s carry atop the second rope. Morgan sees this and quickly runs to her sister’s aid. Her smooth skin glimmers with perspiration as she uses the bed as a launching pad. It throws her tiny body at Lorelei, and Morgan extends her limbs to dropkick her former friend in the face! Melody is released, and Lorelei topples over to the bed, landing on top of the silk sheets. But her cushy landing is but a mere example of fleeting luck, as Molly is now working on yanking away the gown from the slender hips they hug so tightly. The camera man wisely focuses on Molly’s on the taut milky white cheeks of her fine derrière. Melody soon joins in on the action, her full breasts bouncing slightly as she tugs at the top of Lorelei’s gown. Thanks to furious moving hands, Molly manages to rip away her section first. Lorelei’s goddess worthy legs, now on display for all the world to marvel at, lead up to a heart shaped booty that has the crowd in a wonderlust. Lorelei now devotes all her energy to protecting the top of her gown, refusing to let the sweet valley of flesh of her large breasts be exposed with such brutal force. Lorelei bucks and grinds, not realizing that her breasts are busting through the grown with every movement she makes. Finally Melody is successful two large tits the size of small honeydew melons bounced heavily into place. COLE Oh man. I just got a text that my uh…associate Leonardo has found a uh…new associate. MAYA I met him. He’s tall, and he’s dark, and he’s a lawyer and a doctor, and he can fly a space ship, and he and Leonardo are gonna carve “Cole sucks” on the moon as a warning to any alien species that may dare mate with you. COLE (crying) Oh Leonardo!!!! Lorelei is keenly aware she faces uncomfortable odds. She quickly rolls off the bed and latches onto an unexpecting Molly’s arm. The art buff is slung into Morgan, knocking the two heavenly bodies over to the canvas. Acting with much speed, Lorelei swings her heels around to strike Melody. However Melody catches her boot and slams it down to the canvas. The rough counter throws Lorelei off balance, and sends her hot pink coated breasts wobbling across her chest. “SHORYUKEN!” Melody screams as she blasts Lorelei in the jaw with an uppercut! JADE Way to go, Melody! Lorelei tumbles over to the canvas, left bone weary and hurt by the signature attack. Melody smiles happily at her success and dives atop Lorelei for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! THREE! MELISSA Lorelei has been eliminated! “FLAWLESS VICTORY!” Melody shouts in her Mortal Kombat voice. Meanwhile outside the ring, Holly and Maggie are engaged in a brutal tug of war; each woman tugs on Holly’s gown in opposite directions. The impatient fans sit on the edge of their seat, pleading for Holly’s statuesque form to come out its rhinestone-studded shell. Every little tug and every little torque inches them closer to Holly’s slender model like frame. Maggie’s perky chest and her tight tush bounce and strain with each tug, giving the audience a fine appetizer between the main course. Dinner is soon served as Maggie wins the tug of war exposing Holly for all the world to see… [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/617744dc.jpg] “Crap, this is bad. Real bad.” Holly mutters to herself. Holly realizes the chilling fact that the odds are very far from being in her favor. Staring down four Nerdly girls is the epitome of a nightmare for her, and it’s a dream she refuses to endure. With no concern about winning or losing merely survival, Holly leaps over the guardrail and rushes out through the stands. COLE Holly’s turned tail and run! MELISSA Your winners…..my lesser talented and charming sisters! “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” MAYA And better smelling sisters. I bet a triceratops can smell her epic odor all the way back in the Jurassic era. Maggie offers the cheering fanbase a RAWK hand signal while trying to get shy Morgan to do the same. The women's champion can do little more then meekly wave, but its an appreciated gesture from the sold out audience. Molly and Melody aren't quite as unified, having a little spat over Melody's "ugly kid" comment from earlier. COLE This is what I like to see! The Nerdly kids getting along...sort of...in their hometown in front of their friends and family.

We focus on Melissa in the center of the ring, standing inside a golden spotlight. MELISSA Ladies and gentlemen of Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, it is time for the 2010 Anderson Cup finals! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” Cue: [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofkpkJeKA5k"]Khyber Pass[/url] Hard rocking Arab inspired instrumentals break into the Canadian night. The neon entrance stage glows bright and hot with the flashing of multicolored lights. COLE A new sound for The Heavenly Rockers, one we heard on last week’s HeldDOWN~! after their cruel and heinous actions against Team Heyross. COACH You always said Team Heyross is the hottest team on the roster, I guess Quentin Benjamin really is :D COLE Folks, we here in the OAOAST Galaxy wish Qunetin Benjamin the best. He suffered minor burns and he’ll be sidelined indefinitely. However, Team Heyross has released a statement saying they’re looking forward to payback. Stepping onto the colorful entrance stage is Synth Abdul Jabbar, in blue truns with white clouds decorating the back. At his side is the robed Abdullah Abir Nerdly, offering him praise and spiritual betterment ahead of this important content. Behind them stands Logan Mann and Holly, each well matched in letter pants with bloody swords down the side. Their upper bodies differ as Logan goes topless while Holly wears a tight crimson fishnet shirt over a black bikini top. Together they form a liplock that could make even Vivid Entertainment blush. Lumbering behind them is Quiz, clad in simple jeans and a pink and black flannel. MELISSA Being accompanied by Quiz, Holly, and my brother Colonel Abdullah Abir Nerdly- “BOOOOOOOO” ABDULLAH :firedevil: MELISSA They are former Anderson Cup winners in their own right, and three time tag team champions. They hail from Las Vegas, Nevada, Colonel Abdullah Abir Nerdly presents the only rock n wrestling band that matters…..SYNTH ABDUL-JABBAR, LOGAN MACHO MACHO MANN, THE HEAVENLYYYYYY ROOOCKERRRRSSSSS! The evil fivesome cruises down the entrance ramp with Abdullah still feeling the barbs of being booed in his own hometown. As Synth tries to cheer him up with promises of crushing victory, Quiz threatens anyone who dares to insult the holy icon. For their part, Logan and Holly hold each other’s butts and stare lustily at one another’s eyes. COLE This is it, Coach, a meeting of All Star tag teams right here at the Nerdly Spectacular. These two men are former Anderson Cup champions looking to repeat against four time tag team champions but Anderson Cup rookies, Chicks Over Dicks. COACH You ain’t gonna find a more marquee tag team match than this, Mikey. Its going to be a war. [font="Arial Black"][color="#FF00FF"]Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend![/color][/font] “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” [font="Arial Black"][color="#FF00FF"] Hey, hey, you, you! I know that you like me! No way, no way! No, it's not a secret Hey, hey, you, you!! I want to be your girlfriend![/color][/font] The skating rink is illuminated with dazzling multicolored light effects, as a red pyro waterfall spills from the ceiling. A beautiful pink pyro fountain shoots into the sky, romancing with its red counterpart. Suddenly a yellow pyro wall explodes to life, dashing out the other pyro that seems so flimsy in comparasion. The phenomena known as Chicks Over Dicks steps through the entrance doors to a mammoth reception. Alix sports a furry motif in her attire with a furry white bikini top, furry boots, and white booty shorts. Krista reps Judaism hard with a white booty shorts with the star of david on the back, a white headband with the star of david on front and a tube top with the star of david on each side of the chest. Krista spins Alix around before pulling her adorable girlfriend into her arms. Alix sexily looks over her shoulders and tosses a cute kiss to the camera as super imposed lips sweep onto screen. COACH How do you think Alix and Krista feel knowing that they’re responsible for Shelton Benjamin being fried like Church’s chicken? Do you think they care? COLE They, like everyone else, know that The Rockers are the ones who deserve the blame. MELISSA And the opponents….first she is the reigning United States champion, the most searched on Google in 2009, the Hollywood Bad Girl….ALIX MARIA SPEZIAAAAAAA! And, her tag team partner. She is a best selling author and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos! 2009's most searched superstar on Yahoo, 2009's highest trending OAOAST topic on Twitter, 2009's Angle Award winning Wrestler Of The Year, more famous than everyone else put together and multiplied by four! She is a former two-time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion... ladies and gentlemen, "MISS CALIFORNIA"... KKRRIIIIISSTTAAAA ISADORA... DDUUUUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!! Together, they are your #2 seeds in the Anderson Cup, the incomparable... CCHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSSSSS OOOOVVVEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! The beloved duo happily skips down the entrance ramp, arm and arm, blowing kisses and waving to their adoring fanbase. COLE This is such a personal match with so many incidents and attacks leading up to it. It may be the most intense Anderson Cup finals we’ve ever had. Krista showcases her ten million dollar legs to the audience, as Alix stares with tongue wagging at her hypersexed girlfriend. The Heavenly Rockers get a much cruder view as both members of COD offer them a one finger salute. [b]“DING DING DING”[/b] Rather than allow Alix to get into their heads early on, The Heavenly Rockers jump the Princess of Los Angeles. Synth is quickly pointed out the ring, but Mann remains and batters Alix with wicked left hands. He manages to wear her to the ground where he’s able to drop a series of elbows onto the small of her back. “LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX!” Mann scrapes Alix off the canvas, and fires off left hands. The blows back her into THR’s corner, allowing Logan to apply a tag with Synth. The Synthmeister enters the ring with powerful overhand punches. Mann holds her arms behind her back, leaving her defenseless against the attacks. COLE Referee, get him out of there! Charles Robinson takes the hint from the announcers and the fans and ushers Logan out the ring. This does little to assist Alix, who has been mounted by Synth and is being pummeled with punches. Ally attempts to cover up, but this hardly helps her as Synth punishes her with punches. Once through with that Synth brings her to her feet in order to smash her head against his knees. She cries out in pain, etching a worried look onto Krista’s face. COLE This is not a good start for Chicks Over Dicks, which is odd because they usually start off very well. With one hand holding Alix in place, Synth makes a tag to his bandmate. Mann enters with forearms to Alix’s face, and then throws her into his corner. Problematically Alix comes to sudden life and begins hammering the MACHO Macho Mann with powerful punches. But Mann shrugs aside the blow to elbow Alix directly in the face. As she staggers away, the Rockers’ lead sing stretches out and makes the tag to Synth. Logan pins her arms behind her back, infuriating Krista and the crowd, but also allowing him to slug Alix in the face. Logan then leaves the ring, and his partner and bashes her face into the top turnbuckle. COACH Why attack the face fellas? Why attack that beautiful face? COLE I thought you’d be delighted that COD is losing. COACH I ain’t delighted when my spank material has got two black eyes! Synth lunges forward to strike Alix with a lariat. But the plucky diva ducks bellow the strike, and Synth falls into the corner. She batters him powerful punches, until the referee forces her to make a break. Alix abides by the rules, and clutches onto his parted air to drag him to her corner. There a tag is applied to Krista with an eager and enthusiastic cheer from the fans. “Ya’ll niggas done fucked up now!“ Alix shouts as Krista prepares to enter the ring. And indeed those niggas is fucked as Krista slingshots into the ring and strikes down her opponent with a slingshot dropkick. Unfortunately for Krista her advantage is short lived, as Synth springs to his feet. He wraps his around her svelte waist and drives her all the way into the Rockers corner. He then applies the tag to his partner in rock n wrestling, Logan Mann. “BOOOOOOOOO!” the fans seethe as Logan steps into the ring. He grabs hold of Krista’s arm and flings her into the ropes. When she returns, he throws a lariat at her. But the fitness queen swings her body beneath his arm. Logan quickly whirls around to catch her, but Miss California lifts him into her arms to set up an atomic drop. LOGAN No! No! No! KRISTA No you don’t want to me drive your balls through your throat out your mouth? LOGAN No! No! KRISTA No, you do want me to drive your balls through your throat out your mouth? Honey, its one or the other, make up your mind! LOGAN No! Holly is growing annoyed by the situation. HOLLY You stupid bitch! Drop him! ALIX You heard the [i]man[/i]! Drop him. HOLLY I’m not a man! KRISTA If that’s what the tranny wants that’s he/she gets! And Krista drops him….right onto her outstretched knee! As Logan is hobbled by the hideous anguish, Krista grabs onto his leather pants and trips him to the floor. She spreads apart his legs leading Alix waxes nostalgic. ALIX Back on the ground, legs spread in the air, and an angry drunk on top getting ready to nail me. Wow, its just like a visit from my uncle Hector. Choosing to ignore the unwelcome trip down memory lane, Krista leaps between Logan’s legs and crushes his midection with a double leg drop. The rock n wrestling superstar howls in agony, but receives little in the way of sympathy from Krista. KRISTA Those legs are insured for ten million dollars, and they just touched your slimy, back acne riddled poorly odored, funky spots in weird places body. Feel honored, Bringing Logan to his feet, the two time world champion twists his arms and guides him to the COD corner where a tag is made. Alix enters the ring, and the girls throw Logan into the ropes. They bounce off the cables themselves and then their tanned legs connect with Triple H style knee strikes. Logan immediately clutches his face as pain rips across his head. KRISTA Well, we took care of Buckwheat, what do you want to do now? ALIX Bootysault? KRISTA Much too early. Give em the booty now and what we will give them later? ALIX The coochie? KRISTA I really should seriously consider petitioning Morgan to be my new partner. Why don’t we just stomp him? ALIX Like this? STOMP! KRISTA No like this. [SIZE=3]STOMP[/3] KRISYA Or like this! [SIZE=5]STOMP[/SIZE] KRISTA Develop a rhythm with it, make it fun. Bring the music to the people for if you don’t who will? Try stomping to the beat of Shout. KRISTA [SIZE=5]STOMP STOMP STOMP LOGAN OUT, THESE ARE THE FEELINGS OF A CRAZY JEW, COME ON I’M STOMPING ON YOU COME ON![/size] Robinson finally gets things under order forcing Kista leave and letting Alix handle Logan. Unfortunately she’s cut off from Logan by Synth who comes in to shove her to the canvas. ALIX Hey, that’s mean! SYNTH Look at ma face, do it look like the face of someone who gives a damn? :lol: Less funny is the fact that Alix punts him in the balls! While the audience loudly salutes this attack, The Hollywood Bad Girl grabs Synth into a front facelock. From there she bridges backwards and removes the threat he poses with a DDT! COLE Synth had no business in that ring. COACH And Krista had business singing the top 40 hits of the 80’s? COLE One is entertaining the other is just a goggle wearing nuisance. Alix deals with Logan as effectively as she did Synth, using sharp kicks to batter the Rockers’ lead singer. Having hobbled Mann her furry boots spring off the ropes and her shoulders rip through his midsection spring board spear. COLE Straight Outta Compton! Alix attempts a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Mann makes the desperate kickout. Wheezing, he’s then brought to his feet by Alix and attacked with a bevy of strikes. Unfortunately she’s halted by the throat thrust Mann attacks her with. As Alix is doubled over at a loss for breath, the Rockers’ lead singer applies an opportunistic tag to his partner. Mann then holds Alix into place, as Synth taunts her with light kicks to the head. After Mann is forced to the apron by the referee, Synth clamps down on Alix’s neck with a facelock. He grabs onto her white booty shorts and raises her into the air before dropping her downwards with a deadly and I do mean deadly vertical suplex. COACH The balance of power has shifted, Mikey, hopefully for good. Figuring that a vertical suplex is enough effort on his part, Synth slaps the outstretched hand of the MACHO Macho Mann. “MACHO MACHO MANN, SYNTH WANTS TO FUCK THE MACHO MANN! MACHO MACHO MANN SYNTH WANTS TO FUCK THE MACHO MANN!” the vulgar audience sings. KRISTA Well there’s a mental image I was dying to have. Thank you Edmonton, for you have illuminated my day and wet my loins in ways you couldn’t imagine. Mann delivers a hard European uppercut to Alix, that tosses her onto the second rope. Seizing on her poor position, Logan drives his knee into her upper back choking her on the cable. This attack only lasts several seconds before Robinson yanks Logan away. The two engage in a heated argument with Logan brutally cursing the offical. This debate distracts Robinson and permits Holly to strike Alix with a vicious slap. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” KRISTA Don’t just boo! Throw things at her! Watch! (Krista pulls off her star of david head band and throws it Holly, coming up well short) Okay the object was questionable, but the intent to maim and injure was present, I assure you that! Mann struts around the ring, hands on his hips and a smile on his face. He then drags Alix to the center of the squared circle for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Ally makes the kickout, and all of Edmonton is delighted. LOGAN You dumb referee, you better learn to count faster! Having properly insulted poor Robinson, Mann traps Alix within a neck vice. The pain is immediate but doesn’t stop Alix from trying to wiggle out the hold. In response, Mann tightens the grip and demands her submission. Yet Alix is still able to escalate to her feet. Frustrated by Alix’s tenacity, Mann allows her to go free only tag her with a left hook. As soon as Alix crumples to the canvas, Mann reaches out to make the tag with Synth. COLE Lots of quick tags by The Heavenly Rockers. COACH Its smart, Mikey. You never give your opponent a chance to get use to your attack pattern. Synth and Logan brings Alix to her feet and then smash her against their knees. Alix cries out in anguish and falls over to the mat. Smiling at the inevitable victory, Synth hooks the legs for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! But the victory isn’t so inevitable as Alix kicksout! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” Annoyed with Alix’s kickout, Synth roughly drags her upright. He brings her in close and slugs her in the chest with a devastating short arm lariat. Synth cockily dusts his hands off and then attempts a pivotal pinfall… ONE! TWO! Alix with another kickout! Growing all the angrier, Synth traps Alix into a chinlock. The move does little to excite the audience but it certainly hurts Alix who yelps her distress. “LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX!” Alix begins waving her arms, trying to strike Synth with lucky punches and telling the referee she’s still in the contest. On the outside, Holly yells for her to submit and Logan does the same. But Alix is as resilient as she is beautiful and begins fighting to her feet. Rather than let her make an escape, Synth releases the hold. He then grabs onto the back of her head and slams her downward into the canvas. COLE What a dirty tactic by Synth. COACH It’s the Anderson Cup, baby, sometimes you gotta cut corners and bend the rules. Of course only real wrestlers like The Rockers can understand this. COLE Are you saying Alix and Krista aren’t real wrestlers? COACH I’m saying the truth. Synth heads up to the third rope, and rolls his elbow in preparation for a big time attack. On the outside Abdullah celebrates imminent victory with a strange holy dance. Synth smiles at his spiritual guide and then flies forward with the legendary [b]Sky Hook Elbow[/b]. But Alix slides out the way, and Abdul-Jabbar meets with a disastrous crash onto the mat. The fans cheer wildly, and Alix wastes little time in getting to her corner to make the tag to Krista! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Krista’s entrance into the ring is met with a running lariat from the MACHO Macho Mann. Unfortunately for him, Krista is half a step too fast for him and blows him down with a spinning wheel kick. Krista then turns her attention to Synth. KRISTA Honey, those goggles are sublime, in a company where high fashion is passed off as assless chaps and glittery cowboy hats, you set the trend. You must let me try them on. More used to being harassed about his snowboarding goggles then complimented, Synth shrugs his shoulders and hands over his eye wear. KRISTA Hmmmm…..snug fit, clear vision, and one other thing…. [b]KRISTA HEADBUTTS SYNTH![/b] KRISTA They work great for headbutting. Thanks, honey, you’re a dream. Enraged at his partner’s humliation, Logan is back to his feet. But he can’t get any revenge as Krista easily traps him inside a front facelock. “Life In The Fab Lane!” She calls out, and then waves to the roaring audience. From there she whirls around and sends Mann crashing into the canvas with her version of the twist of fate. KRISTA Now, honey, I told you what move I was going to use, and I even stopped to wave to the fans, I did everything but play Beethoven’s 5th on Alix’s dumb kazoo. And you still couldn’t stop me? The school system that the retard bus drove you to everyday has failed you. And on a greater level its failed America. Sighing at Logan’s stupidity, Krista hooks the leg for a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Logan swiftly kicks out and retreats to a neutral corner to rethink his errant strategy. Problematically Krista’s high heels are already running towards him. He hastily slides himself out the way, thinking she’ll crash into the posts. He has no such luck as the fitness queen elevates herself to the top rope and flies back at him with a corckscrew moonsault press! Together the rockstar and the walk of famer tumble down to the mat. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” the audience sings as Krista attempts a pinfall… ONE! TWO! However the fall is broken up by Synth! This does sit overly well with Krista, who begins blasting Synth with powerful kicks with her expensive heels. Synth fights back, but foolishly slugs her in his former goggles! SYNTH Ow! Ow! Ow! COLE Ha! Now you know how it feels! COACH So now Krista has goggles and a hard cast! Krista grabs onto Synth’s arms and smashes his head against her knees in a Triple H style face crusher that fells him to the canvas. Synth rather wisely rolls to the outside to be consoled by his spiritual advisor. However this leaves Logan alone with the beautiful duo as Alix has ventured into the ring. Logan fires double lariats at four time tag team champions. But is upended by a clever sitout hip toss by the girls. KRISTA Duck soup! ALIX No thanks, I don’t eat duck. KRISTA Dummy, it means….oh why do I bother to explain the nuances of my subtle genius, lets just shake our asses. “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” The girls both head to opposite corners and climb up to the top rope, which confuses the booty hungry crowd more than it excites them. Perched up high, they each toss cute a kiss to the other. Then the raunchy show begins, as their firm delectable ass cheeks jiggle and bounce to enthused cheers of the Edmonton audience! COACH Well, I got what I came to see. Wake me up when the Rockers win. Cutting the booty shaking short, the girls flip backwards to crush Logan with double moonsaults. “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” Mann hastily and wisely rolls away while Alix is removed from the ring by the referee. Mann slaps Synth’s hand, bringing his partner into the ring. Krista greets him with a leaping sidekick, but Abdul Jabbar ducks the attack. Krista spins around to catch him with her cast covered arm, but Synth drops her with a lightening fast right cross. Synth then grabs onto her legs and spreads them apart. He salivates over the upskirt view he gets just a bit too much and lingers on his move. This enables Krista to kick him away. Frustrated by the shrug off, Synth runs forward and plants his arab style boots into her sternum. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” the fans shout as Synth dusts off his hands. Synth lifts Krista off the canvas, and then hurls her into the ropes. When she returns he hooks beneath her arms and sends her flying over with an arm drag! Figuring that’s enough to keep Krista down, Abdul-Jabbar makes a pinfall effort… ONE! TWO! Krista lifts her shoulder off the canvas, giving the audience a reason to celebrate. Their mood is tempered somewhat, as Synth begins dropping elbows against Krista’s toned stomach. Next he lifts her off the canvas and shoves her across the ring into his corner. He lays in a few hard elbows for good measure before applying the tag to Logan. The MACHO Macho Mann isn’t warmly welcomed by the Canadian crowd. He’s even more poorly received when he blasts Krista with a WICKED left uppercut. COLE No one is more proficient with the left hands than the southpaw Logan Mann. COACH Word, the Heavenly Rockers do one thing better than Alix and Krista and that’s brawl. They brawl well and they brawl hard. Mann hooks onto Krista’s bare leg for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Somehow Krista finds the strength to kickout. She tries to use the ropes to pull herself upright, but this effort is hindered by Logan repeatedly kicking her in the back. Mann then makes a tag with Abdul Jabbar and drags Krista towards the center of the ring. In unison with Mann, Synth drops a vicious leg across her neck. Logan quickly scuttles out the ring so that Synth may make the pinfall… ONE! TWO! No, Krista makes the kickout! Not wanting her to gain any momentum, Synth holds Krista down with a body lock. Almost instantly does the crowd begin chanting Krista’s name, willing her to fight towards her feet. Now upright she begins bashing her cast against Synth’s cranium, doing enough damage to hobble the rockstar. With Synth dazed and in pain, she runs to the ropes. The cables push her back and she leaps over her paunchy foe with a sunset flip. The official scores the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Synth pops out of the pin, and promptly begins unleashing on the superstar of the year with hard punches. While she whimpers in distress, Abdul Jabbar brings her off the canvas and roughly shoves her into The Rockers’ corner. There a tag is made with Logan, which does nothing to please the Albertan audience. “LOGAN SUCKS! LOGAN SUCKS! LOGAN SUCKS!” Logan and Synth lift Krista high into the air with dual military presses. After suspending her for several seconds they drop her downwards crashing her stomach into their knees. Krista screams out in pain, and clutches her sore midsection. COACH I don’t care how many stomach crunches she does per day that has to hurt! Synth parades around the ring, arms raised and mouth spewing cries of victory. While he infuriates the audience, Mann makes an important pinfall… ONE! TWO! The audience has a reason to cheer as Krista makes a timely kickout. But their cheers are short lived, as Mann brings Krista to her feet and punishes her stomach with brutal knees. Krista grits her teeth, trying her hardest to tolerate the incredible pain that rolls through her body. Logan continues to put the pressure on Krista, grabbing onto her neck and swinging her around with a neckbreaker. Krista’s neck snaps violently off the canvas, and her screams are immediate. HOLLY Yeah! Put that dyke bitch away! Logan grabs onto Krista’s flowing golden hair, and begins bringing her to her feet. He hooks her into a front facelock and then performs a finger twirl that incites the sold out audience. They watch in horror as Logan dives backwards and crashes Krista’s head into the canvas with a [b]Percussion DDT[/b] SYNTH :headbang: Mann smiles over the misery he’s heaped upon Krista as he hooks her leg for the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Krista makes a miraculous kickout that almost brings the audience to their feet. COACH I don’t believe it! HOLLY Robinson! I thought my husband told your (beep)sucking ass to count faster! While Robinson lectures Holly on lady like language, Logan takes Krista into a front facelock. Rather than execute his deadly finisher or any other hold, Mann simply chokes away at the two time world champion. Krista makes every effort her weakened body can afford to fight free of the hold, but Mann’s grip is murderously tight. “LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA!” the fans chant led on by Alix. The song of the audience seems to work like wondrous magic and Krista begins fighting upwards. Logan clamps down tighter on the hold, and yells at Krista to abandon her fight. But Krista heeds only the encouragement of the audience and begins driving her cast-ridden arm into his stomach. The blows stun Mann mightily and with each attack, his hold fails him more and more. Finally Logan hasn’t any choice but to release Krista, lest her cast cut through his chocolate skin entirely. Annoyed with his hold’s failure, Logan lunges forward to quiet his rage. Unfortunately Krista avoids him by leaping onto the third rope and springboarding back at him. Her body flips through the air and her arm with the cast connects with Logan’s head, completing a graceful moonsault lariat! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the audience along with Alix shouts their excitement. Krista would like to capitalize on her new found advantage, to dazzle the audience with another show of agility, or simply make a much needed tag. But none of those options are available to her as she’s too weakened to even attempt to move her muscles. “LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA!” The audience’s chants are appreciated by Miss California, but even they do little to help her cause. Alix takes up to performing an Indian war cry to rally her girlfriend. The front row fans beat their hands against the guardrails, doing their part to aid Krista. Abdullah and Holly chastise the audience for their support of Krista, but only cause them to grow all the louder. With all of Edmonton behind her finally Krista begins making some effort to her corner. Mann finally recovers slightly, noticing Krista’s escape attempt. He clamps down tightly on her ankle, trying with every bit of strength in his body to hold her back. However, Krista’s will to victory is too strong for even Mann to overcome and she continues sliding to her corner. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Krista makes the tag to Alix! The Hollywood Bad Girl rushes into the ring with Edmonton rooting her on. Her arrival is met by a charging Logan Mann. But Alix takes him off his feet with a stupendous high flipping lariat. She hasn’t much time to celebrate though as Synth begins blasting her with forearms to the back. His attacks only last but so long, as Alix takes to BITING his nose. While Synth tries to cope with the pain of being bitten, Alix traps him inside a side facelock. Moments later she’s somersaulting forward, bringing him down with the [b]Confessions of a Kristaholic[/b]! The fans erupt with overjoyed jubilation as Alix makes the crucial pinfall… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! Colonel Abdullah distracts the ref by climbing onto the apron and disseminating his holy views. This draws the audience’s wrath, but not Alix’s as she simply turns her attention to Mann. She snags hold of his arm and whips him into the ropes. Holly springs into action, grabbing onto her husband’s boot in order to prevent him from being struck by Alix. Unfortunately this only delays the inevitable; Alix soon charges forth and cracks Logan’s skull with a running enziguri! ALIX Ya-hoooooo! Ten thousand monkey points! As Logan tries to struggle towards his feet, he’s seized upon by the queen of the monkey points who chucks him into the far corner. As soon as he lands against the ring posts he must deal with Alix striking him with a beautiful body splash. His body tries to topple over to the canvas, but he’s held in place by Alix’s headlock. Together they run forward, with Alix stretching out her body to bulldog Logan and strike the oncoming Synth Abdul Jabbar with a lariat! COLE Oh what a move that was! What a move! COACH There needs to be a little more ass shaking and a lot less ass kicking from Alix. Alix makes the cover and the audience counts along. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! This time its Holly interrupting the count by cursing out Robinson. With the referee back to lecturing Holly on proper decorum, Quiz sneaks into the ring. He aims his trademark big boot at Alix. However the feisty diva ducks bellow the attack and Quiz misses entirely. Stumbling awkwardly, Quiz is easily taken off his feet by a dropsault from the Princess of Los Angeles! While Quiz was defeated without much effort, his presence brought The Rockers much needed time to recover. As such their easily able to grab hold of Alix and capture her inside a double front facelock. LOGAN AND SYNTH :headbang: COACH Here comes the Percussion! But the Rockers’ famous finisher never has a chance to even begin its execution; Krista surges forward and wipes out both Rockers with double diving lariats! “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” Krista sends Logan into the corner and follows up with leaping knees to his face! He stumbles out the corner, grimacing in anguish with blood dripping from his mouth. Krista takes up a perch on the top rope, bending over to show a little bit of her fine ass, while Logan struggles to remain upright. She then hurls herself off the top rope with a shooting star lariat that wipes the rock n wrestling superstar out. Unfortunately for her, she must quickly turn her attention to the fast approaching Abdul Jabbar. But Krista is up for the task and meets his arrival by reminding him Blonds Never Pay A Cover. COLE She got him with the side effect! A pinfall is attempted as the referee discards any adherence to the legal man rules. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! Holly leaps onto the ring apron to once again distract Robinson. Krista is oddly calm about the situation as she approaches the hostile Holly. HOLLY What the (beep) do you want, (beep) carpet munching dyke? KRISTA Honey, I have to ask, do you change your motor oil every three thousand miles? HOLLY What the mother (beep)? Why do you give a shit? KRISTA I don’t really, honey, I’m just giving Alix a chance to do this. [B]SUPERKICK BY ALIX![/B] “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Logan sees blood red after his wife’s unfortunate dismissal from the contest. He makes a mad dash for Alix, but is caught with a KIDology from Krista! The fans spring to their feet, ready to celebrate the victory, as Alix makes the pinfall on Mann…. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! COLE They got it! The fans rise to their feet and high five one another as though they themselves were victorious on this magical night. Abdullah sings to his knees and weeps in great sorrow over the heart crushing defeat. Holly’s sadness quickly turns to anger as she begins kicking anything that can possibly be kicked. COLE Chicks Over Dicks with their first ever Anderson Cup coming at the expense of The Heavenly Rockers! You know Team Heyross has to be somewhere enjoying this outcome. MELLISA Your winner and 2010 Anderson Cup Champion….CHICKS OVER DICKS!!!!!!!! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the audience screams like the news were too incredible to be true. Alix celebrates with the exuberance and joy that only belong to an Anderson Cup victor. Krista for her part plays it cool and calm, accepting a Martini to commemorate the victory. COLE Chicks Over Dicks have done it all, record setting four time tag team champions and now 2010 Anderson Cup champions. Does it get any better than this, Coach? COACH Does it get any worse than this, Mikey? A whole new round of sonnings and humiliation are in store for us. MELISSA Here to present the 2010 Anderson Cup….Canadian Olympic Hockey athlete and NHL superstar….RICK NASH! [img=http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/96/Rick_Nash.jpg/220px-Rick_Nash.jpg] The Blue Jackets’ sniper waves to the audience as he approaches a podium on the stage that holds the golden gift of beauty, The Anderson Cup. Standing at his side are Jessie Ventura, Tony Schiavone, and OAOAST legend Tony Brannigan NASH It is my pleasure to award Krista Isadora Duncan and Alix Maria Spezia with the 2010 Anderson Cup! Congratulations, ladies. Krista takes the trophy and hoists it high above her head, mimicking a Stanley Cup celebration for Nash’s benefit. Alix stands with an overjoyed smile dancing across her face. Barley able to contain her giddiness, she applauds and cheers with the roaring Edmonton audience. NASH Best of luck to you in your Anglemania tag title match. KRISTA Oh, honey, its not us that’s going to need luck. “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” the fans sing as the girls pose for pictures with the coveted trophy. COACH This is disgusting. How can these two win the Anderson Cup over real wrestlers? This is like David Arquette as WCW champ. What’s next? Jessica Alba as Heartland champion? Julia Roberts King Of The Ring? I can’t stand for it!

Match heavy show tonight. They were all very good, showcasing the talents of each individual writer. Enjoyed the fireball angle with Team Heyross, and I was shocked to see Jumbo tap out. I mean I already knew he was gonna lose, but I thought he might too big (literally) to tap out. EWC stay refreshing all my memories of what I did when I breifly decided to resurrect the James Riggs character, might as well keep on using him after this.

Good stuff!

Do we need it this week? Or no?

[b][color="#00FF00"]Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum (Jesus Walks) God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down (Jesus Walks with me) The only thing that that I pray is that my feet don't fail me now (Jesus Walks) And I don't think there is nothing I can do now to right my wrongs (Jesus Walks with me) I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long[/color][/b] Green and yellow lights fall across the neon entrance stage, while Kanye West’s smash hit “Jesus Walks” comes through the speakers. Wearing black slacks and a navy blazer, a smug Christian Wright emerges from the entrance way. At his side stands the equally confident and snobbish, Lorelei DeCenzo. The two Enterprise members hook arms and travel down the entrance ramp with noses held high as green pyro explodes at the side of the stage. MELISSA Ladies and gentlemen it is time for a quarterfinal King Of The Ring contest with a time limit of ten minutes! Now entering ringside, accompanied by Lorelei DeCenzo, he weighs 8 1/3 bars of gold, from Washington DC, he is THE GOD CHILD….CHRISTIAN WRIIIIGHTTTTT! Lorelei and CW take up position at ringside, discussing both strategy and their hatred of this western Canadian town. Fall Out Boy’s “Thriller” plays to a great reception as red and blue lights flicker on the neon lit entry way. An orange pyro missile descends from the scoreboard, crashing directly onto the skating rink. The home audience is then shown an overhead view of the rink, which features shimmering flames in the form of a bull’s head. The camera then pans down to reveal the handsome face of The Lonestar Gunslinger, Baron Windels! At his side stands the daisy duked lovely known as Melody Nerdly. Melody takes off BW’s open white Texas logoed jersey and the two head towards ring side. God damn does Baron have a complicated entrance. MELISSA And his opponent, being accompanied by the nerdiest and most embarrassing of my family, he weighs in at two hundred sixty five pounds, and comes from San Antonio, Texas….he is THE LONESTAR GUNSLINGER…..BARRRROOOOON WINDELLLLLSSSSSS COLE Coach, this is going to be an amazing match between two of our best young superstars. COACH No doubt, the undefeated Centennial Man against The Lethal Rumble runner up Baron Windels. Baron heads to the top rope, and nods his head to an appreciative cheer from the enthused Canadian fanbase. DING DING DING Wright wastes no time with pleasantries or feeling things out. He simply zips towards Windells with cruel intent. The Gunslinger drops down to his stomach and trips up his approaching opponent with a drop toe hold! Wright is back to his feet with great speed, but finds himself under fire with a pair of left crosses that back him into the corner. Trapped against the ring posts, Wright is besieged by knee strikes that bomb against his stomach. COLE Give full credit to Baron Windels for coming out the gate ready to fight. Windels grabs hold of his opponent’s arm and tosses him across the ring. Wright lands in the opposite corner short of breath. But he has enough strength to raise his brooks brother loafers to ward off Windels. The handsome cowboy shakes off the pain to his chin and charges at his foe with a corner lariat. But The God Child wisely rolls beneath the strike, leaving Windels to crash into the corner. Wright savors having control and executes his attacks perfectly, beating Baron’s muscular chest with European uppercuts. COACH Those things could rip flesh right off your bones! COLE The Centennial Man is fighting with extra intensity tonight, not just to win the King of The Ring but to also keep his unbeaten streak alive. Wright pulls BW out the corner in order to send him to the far ropes. Unfortunately for him BW regains his strength and lays him out with diving lariat to the face! “YEAAAAAAAA!” the fans cheer, causing Lorelei to give them a disapproving glare. Windels mounts CW and batters him with brutal punches that have his head snapping like a tether. At the referee’s urging, BW ends his closed fisted attack and drags his opponent to his feet. He then takes himself to the ropes bouncing back to encounter a spinning lariat from his foe. But BW ducks the hold, and skids to a complete stop behind Wright. He then grabs onto his waist and throws him backwards with a release German Suplex! The audience and Melody clap as BW pops up with arms raised. COLE The OAOAST Galaxy loves Baron Windels! His fight, his drive, his eight pack, he’s got it all. Windels climbs to the top rope, and again works to pump up the Edmonton audience. Unfortunatley any joy derived from that gesture is short lived, as Lorelei raises herself onto the ring apron and shoves BW off! To the audience’s horror BW is sent diving from the posts, crash landing into the cold steel guardrail. “Set phasers to kill, we’re going in!” Melody orders to herself. With the referee holding an angered Melody at bay, Wright is able to freely exit the ring. He brings BW to his feet and drags him towards the stairs. With the crowd jeering him, he tosses BW into the metal cases. Such a violent and vicious move isn’t even enough to satisfy CW’s bloodlust. Thusly he captures Windels inside a front facelock, and then flings him backwards with a snap suplex. Windels back arches as he grimaces in agony over the attack. “BOOOOOOOO!” “SILENCE!” Windels chides the audience as he rolls his foe back into the squared circle. Following Windels into the ring, Wright strikes hard with a stomp to the back of his head. Wright then pulls BW to his feet, an clamps his arms around his waist. Within several moments he pulls BW into the air and drives him down to the canvas with a back suplex. Fairly pleased with that attack, CW attempts the contest’s first pinfall…. ONE! TWO! BW’s shoulder comes up after a long two count. “Dear squire, I do entertain the thought that mayhaps thou’s count may hath been more deliberate than intended.” Done with politely chastising the referee, Wright hauls Windels to his feet. He then swings his arms around Windels’ waist, and drops him across and outstretched knee for a back breaker. Wright pushes the agonized Windels off his knee and makes another cover attempt….. ONE! TWO! THREE! Nah, I’m fuckin with ya, Baron kicksout! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” “You will give me silence or your lives will pay the forfeit of the quietude!” A frustrated Wright chides the OAOAST Marks. “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” His stomach turning over the annoying insults, Wright lifts BW to his feet. He weakens him with several European uppercuts before tossing him into the cables. When BW returns, Wright gets beneath his shoulders and throws him into the air with the Wright Off (sky high)! The fans jump back, fearful this could spell the end for the handsome Texan. The referee counts the sitout pinfall…. ONE! TWO! The fans are thrilled and relieved to see BW pop out of the pinfall! This highly displeases Wright and forces him into a change of strategy. As such he hooks his foe into an armbar. The pain shoots through BW’s limb almost immediately. He squirms and writhes, trying to slip out the submission. Wright refuses to allow escape, and clamps down with murderous grip. On the outside Melody takes to asking the fans for encouragement. They respond with loud and vocal chants “LET’S GO BARON! LET’S GO BARON! LET’S GO BARON!” COLE BW’s arm is being torn at, ripped apart by this cold calculating individual. Slowly, very slowy, does BW begin fighting to his feet. CW attempts to tighten his hold, but finds that his efforts do not hinder BW from climbing upright. Soon he’s filled with anger and disgust, as The Lonestar Gunslinger fights his way upwards. With the hold broken BW uses his good arm to punish his opponent with powerful forearms. But that flurry of attacks is quickly shut down by CW, who topples Windels with a European uppercut! While the fans boo the strike, Wright latches onto BW’s thick legs. He then bridges backwards and throws BW into the corner with a slingshot. Windels sags to the canvas, his head ringing from the crash into the posts. COACH The God Child is wrestling a perfect match, Mikey He’s gonna be tough to face in the latter rounds. COLE He has to make it out the first round first, don’t forget that. BW is back onto his feet, but is sagging against the corner. This leaves him exposed to The Cennetenial Man vile plans; his flesh is ripped apart by a series of knife edge chops. The referee attempts to pull CW away, as BW has both hands around the top rope. But The God Child does not appreciate such interruptions and informs the referee of such. However, the offical doesn’t seem to care for Wright’s issues and brushes him aside. This idea is an awesomely poor one as it gets the foolish official shoved to the ground. “BOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “You are a fiend and a villain!” Wright remarks to the referee, even as he threatens a DQ. COLE That should get Wright disqualified from this contest! COACH No, no, don’t let the referee decide this match. Wright turns away from the humiliated offical to go back to tormenting BW. Unfortunatley for him, he’s the tormented one as BW nails him with a top rope lariat. “Its clobberin’ time!” Melody shouts to the capacity crowd. “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans celebrate, to Lorelei’s annoyance. Windels follows his signature strike with a pinfall… ONE! TWO! CW makes his way out the pinfall. Not wanting to get pinned again, he hurriedly steps upright. However, his desires go unfulfilled as BW brings him downwards with a roll up. The referee moves into position to count the pinfall…. ONE! TWO! CW pops out the pinfall once again. He and BW head upright at the same time. Despite being rolled up, CW strikes first, bridging BW into a pinfall with a Northern Lights suplex. Lorelei commands the referee to count the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Windels kicksout the pinfall! He quickly springs upright and takes off to the ropes. They spit him back at Wright, and he raises his arm for a deadly lariat. But CW ducks the strike. BW skids to a halt, hoping to catch CW with a Myspace Comeback (boomerang lariat) But The God Child captures him into a rear waistlock that’s used to throw him backwards with a German Suplex! With pitbull like tenacity, CW rolls BW off the canvas in hopes of hitting a second German Suplex. However, BW steadfastly refuses to be taken down and begins hammering CW’s skull with elbows. The strikes inflict enough damage and pain to force The God Child to relinquish his hold. Now free of Wright’s grasp, Windells lunges forward and takes down CW with a diving lariat! As the fans salute the attack, BW attempts a pinfall… ONE! TWO! THREE! Well, it would be three if Lorelei hadn’t stepped onto the ring apron to distract the referee. COLE We’re sort of winding down on time here. Remember folks its only a ten minute time limit, and Lorelei’s wasting a lot of it. Incredibly frustrated, BW grumbles to himself as he attempts to gain the attention of the referee. However, turning his back on Wright proves to be a monumentally bad idea, as The Centennial Man rolls him up for a pinfall. Right on cue Lorelei departs the ring apron to allow the referee to perform his duties… ONE! TWO! BW makes the kickout, which pleases all of Edmonton. Not as pleased, of course, is Wright who chides Windels for his resiliency. “LET’S GO BARON! LET’S GO BARON! LET’S GO BARON!” the sold out crowd sings. Windells brings himself to his feet, and immediately begins trading hands with The God Child. The bigger, stronger Windells wins the test of might and pummels CW into the corner. Windells backs away for the moment and works up the audience into a frenzied cheer. With the fans on his side, he rushes forward with a raised knee that connects perfectly with Wright’s jaw! As the audience delights in CW’s misery, The Enterprise member awkwardly staggers out from the corner. COACH These dudes better hurry up and make something happen, Mikey. COLE Exactly, time is a commodity they don’t have a lot of. BW swings for the fences with a mighty lariat. However, CW ducks it, and oddly thanks himself for doing so. But he’s quickly felled with a boomerrang lariat! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” COLE The Myspace Comeback! Vintage Baron Windels! cThat has to be it as the time limit nears. Windels hooks the legs for a crucial pinfall… ONE! TWO! The God Child throws his shoulder off the canvas. MELISSA Thirty five seconds remaining! “THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE!” “Too much excitement! Too much!” Melody exclaims, “I need my inhaler!” “Get up!” Windels orders his snooty foe. Wright does just that, but also takes BW by surprise by driving him into the corner. There he blasts BW with his ultra powerful European uppercuts. Baron winces in agony, as the white hot pain explodes on his chest. MELISSA Fifteen seconds remaining! COACH Gotta hurry up, Christian, you need to put him away now. Right now! MELISSA Ten seconds remaining! Wright realizes that time is running short and drags BW to the center of the ring. He lifts him for the Stockmarket Crash (gord buster). However BW quickly fights out the hold. With CW stunned by the escape, BW is able to drill him to the canvas with the Brigham Young Cocktail (leaping DDT!) “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” A pinfall quickly follows…. ONE! TWO! BZZZZZZZZT! THREEE! COLE Was that three? Has Christian Wright’s unbeaten streak been snapped? COACH No way, he didn’t get the pinfall off in time. The referee walks over to Melissa to inform the Nerdly girl of the outcome of the hotly contested bout. Melissa nods slowly, surprised by the referee's decision. MELISSA Ladies and Gentlemen, I regret to inform you that this King Of The Ring contest has ended in a time limit draw! Neither man will advance to the semifinals! “BOOOOOOOOOO!” the fans seethe, only inches of anger away from littering the ring with debris. BW can’t believe the ill luck that has struck him, and holds his head in his hands. Melody attempts to comfort him, but little can be done to ease his mind. Christian, on the other hand, is content with the unusual outcome. Knowing full well that Windels was about to end his winning streak, The God Child thanks the wrestling gods for their mercy. COACH Let’s talk straight up this loser Baron Windels! Can’t win the rumble because he turned his back on the guy he was supposed to eliminate, and now can’t even hit his damn finisher on time to get a win. He’s like a rich man’s Biff Atlas. And a rich man’s Biff Atlas ain’t worth more than 50 cents and a subway token.

As we come back to HeldDOWN, we find Biff Atlas, already in the ring, ready for a huge opportunity. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest, set for one fall, is a King Of The Ring Qualifying Match. In the ring, from Venice Beach, California... weighing two hundred, twenty pounds... BBIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFF... AAAAATTLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS!!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Biff raises an arm in the air, acknowledging the crowd. COLE Biff Atlas... could we soon be calling him "King Biff"? COACH No. "We're running with the Shadows Of The Night So baby take my hand, you'll be alright Surrender all your dreams to me tonight They'll come true in the end" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" As the powering power ballad "Shadows Of The Night" by Pat Benetar powers through the area, I wonder where I left my thesaurus. But more importantly, Landon Maddix powers through the entrance doors with a grandious stride. Arms out-stretched he does a twirl on the stage, as Megan stands behind, hands on hips. BUFFER And his opponent. Being accompanied to the ring by his manager, MEGAN SKYE! From Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Spain... weighing two hundred, eight pounds. He is the leader of CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL and one fourth of the OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Champions... LLAAAAAAAANNDDOOOOOONN... "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMMMAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Landon heads to the ring, stopping to allow Megan up the ring steps before him. Which would be gentlemanly, if it wasn't just so Megan could hold the ropes open as he spins into the ring. Throwing back his hair, Landon holds up his makeshift "8-Man Tag Title" belt with a big grin on his face. COLE So this is our final Qualifying Match for next week's King Of The Ring extravaganza, one spot remaining in the tournament. And no doubt, Landon would love to be there. But first he must beat Biff Atlas and whatever you think about Biff, Landon shouldn't be under-estimating him. COACH Why not? Is it possible to under-estimate Biff? Estimating him at all seems like over-estimating, to me. Handing over his belt and ring jacket to Megan, Landon certainly looks confident as he stands across the ring from Biff. *DINGDINGDING* Landon offers to start the match with a handshake, to HOWLS of disapproval from the crowd. Biff doesn't look sure what to do despite the thousands of people yelling at him and decides to take the handshake. Sure enough, his reward is a boot to the gut. COACH Haha, the oldest trick in the book, Michael! This is gonna be an easy night for La Cucaracha, I can feel it. Even Landon can't quite believe Biff fell for that one and he shrugs. Backing Biff into a corner Landon then dishes out a knifedge chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And a second one. Big smile, Landon takes a moment to turn and perform a very regal looking bow, apparantly in the king's mood already. However when Landon turns back around, Biff surprises him by grabbing and then hurling him high into the turnbuckles! COACH Woah! COLE I think that one caught Landon a bit by surprise. Getting his head together, Landon dusts himself off and runs out of the corner, right into a shoulder tackle! Bowled over Maddix rolls underneath the bottom rope and wonders what the heck just happen as Biff is left standing tall in the ring. COLE I told you Coach. You take any opponent in the OAOAST too lightly and you're asking for trouble. Especially Biff, who's not been the same Biff we all know and despair of recently. COACH Yes he is. Once a loser, always a loser. Landon takes his time on the outside, talking things over with Megan and making Biff wait. He climbs back into the ring and this time looks for a lock-up. Unable to match power Maddix quickly goes to the gut again, this time with a knee, then hammers away at Biff with forearms. Irish whip is reversed though and Landon runs into another shoulder tackle. This time Landon doesn't go down. But only because the ropes keep him up, propelling him right back into another shoulder tackle which does knock him down. Cover by Biff... 1... 2... Landon kicks out and scrambles into a corner to get away. Biff is right on him though, clubbing Landon across the chest with a forearm in the corner. And a second. COLE Biff really laying it in. The scary thing is, I'm not sure Biff really knows his own power. COACH I'm not sure he knows a lot of things. With the five count long used up, the referee steps in to move Biff back. Biff wants to keep the pressure on though and brushes past the referee, falling into Landon's trap and getting dragged face-first into the middle turnbuckle by the tights! Boos ring out for Landon, as he stomps away on Biff in the corner before he too is backed up by the referee. COACH See Biff's strong and all. But so's an ox. And they don't call people "dumb as an ox" for nothing. As Biff picks himself up in the corner, Maddix runs in and delivers a leaping forearm smash. Biff staggers out of the corner and a simple legsweep puts him on his back for a pinfall attempt... 1... 2... Kickout. Landon slaps on a chinlock, nodding his head with a confident smile. COACH This is a complete mismatch Michael. I know you're trying to sugarcoat it so people don't change the channel, see what's on Hallmark or whatever, but come on. You've got one of the smartest men in the entire OAOAST against one of the dumbest. It's a no-brainer... and I don't just mean Biff. Fueled by the crowd, Biff gets back to his feet. An elbow to the midsection rocks Landon. So does a second. But Landon cuts Biff off before he can get any more offence going than that, striking him across the back of the head, then attacking the back of the knees with a couple of kicks. Landon hits the ropes with Biff hobbled. Able to avoid a slam attempt Landon lands on his feet behind Biff and quickly hooks a neckbreaker, dropping Atlas's head into the knee instead of the canvas! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Letting him sit up, Landon drills Biff in the spine with a hard kick! "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" Hitting another kick, Landon turns around to reminstrate with the fans. Biff gets back to his feet, but Landon doesn't stay distracted long. He whips Biff into the ropes and catches him coming back with a picture-perfect Dropsault, forcing the fans to eat some crow. COACH Yeah, who sucks now!? COLE I don't think anyone can deny that Landon is a talented individual. It's just that his attitude and his personality sucks. Landon makes the cover, eventually... 1... 2... No! Back to the chinlock Maddix tries to wear Biff down some more. COLE And these Saskatchewans now trying to get behind Biff. They seem to be okay with the idea of Biff being their King, Coach. COACH Oh please. He'd be the worse King since King Of Queens went off the air. Biff fights back to his feet again and again makes his escape by going to the breadbasket. Elbowing his way out, Biff turns and hits the ropes. Landon tries to cut him off with a clothesline, but Biff surprises everybody by being quick enough to duck the line, coming off the far ropes and knocking Landon down with a running high knee to the face!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE And Biff scores with the knee! Is this the opening he needs? With both men down the referee lays a count in. COACH Come on Landon. If you lose this, you'll never live it down! The referee reaches a count of five before both men reach their feet. Shaking off the effects of the knee, Landon balls up his fist, ready to strike. But, Biff blocks and fires back with a right hand of his own! Landon tries again, blocked again and hit with another right hand! Biff starts to unload with rights, but stops to encourage the crowd, opening him up for a desperate knee to the ribs from La Cucaracha to cut him off. COLE Biff got a little too caught up in the moment there. COACH He's not used to beating people up, cut him some slack. Looking a little shaken up Landon turns and hits the ropes... and gets PICKED UP IN A GORILLA PRESS!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!" COACH OH NO! Freaking out, a screaming Landon is slammed back down to earth by Atlas! COACH Oh no! Landon! Biff plays to the crowd again, this time with Maddix hurting on the mat, which is a little more opportune. Building up a head of steam Biff then waits for Landon to pick himself up on the ropes and comes charging... only for Landon to drop down, sending Biff flying over the top rope and to the outside!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!" COACH COLE I don't know how much Landon knew about that, but it was a timely duck out of the way, that's for sure. And Biff looks like he hit hard. COACH He flew, Michael! He really does have superpowers! Landon takes the time to have a breather and clear his head while Biff lies hurt on the arena floor. Eventually he rolls out of the ring and throws Atlas back inside. Landon gives a thumbs up to Megan to show he's okay, then heads back into the ring, via the top rope. Pausing for dramatic purposes, Landon comes off the top with a double axehandle. But doesn't connect, Biff instead catching hold of Landon and delivering a Side Belly To Belly! COLE Here it is! Huge upset! 1... 2... Kickout! "OOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh, I thought he had him! Biff Atlas almost pulled off the upset of his life! COACH Would you quit being so bias? Out here, cheering for this goof. COLE If there's something wrong with routing for the underdog then there's something wrong with this crowd as well. COACH Well that's undoubtedly true. Up first, Biff comes off the ropes and knocks Landon over with a clothesline. Biff then looks around, realises he's actually on the verge of winning and signals for the end, unable to hide his surprise. Wobbly legged, Landon stumbles around into Biff, who grabs the former World Champion and throws him up onto his shoulders! COLE He's going for it! Can Biff put Landon away... No is the answer, Landon firing his elbow into the side of Biff's head until he manages to slip free. Shoving Biff in the back, Landon tries to catch him coming back off the ropes with a Superkick. Biff catches the foot though! Throwing it down Biff then tries to put Maddix up on the shoulder again. But Landon slips free again and with another shove in the back, runs Biff face-first into the turnbuckles. As Biff staggers back, Landon then spins him around and plants him face-first with a quick Complete Shot!! COLE Oh... Biff got caught. COACH About time his luck ran out. A dazed Biff tries to get right back up. Which proves his downfall, as he's lined up and SMASHED in the face with a Low Flying Superkick! Unfortunately for Biff he doesn't go down. Instead the superkick brings him up from one knee to his feet. So Maddix quickly hoists him up and delivers another shot to the face, with the GO 2 SLEEP!! COLE A devestating one-two combo. Landon Maddix, clinical in the end. 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* The fans let out a sound of great disappointment, as Biff is finally put down for three. Rolling to his knees, Landon can't hide the look of relief at first, but raises a smile when his hand is raised in victory. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match, advancing to the King Of The Ring Tournament... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MMMAAAAADDIIIIIIXXXXXXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Suddenly smug as can be, Landon takes a bow and celebrates his win. COLE So Landon Maddix completes the field of eight who will compete in the 2010 King Of The Ring, next week in Edmonton. It will be Landon, Christian Wright, Tim Cash, Colombian Heat, Thunderkid, Denzel Spencer, Christopher Patrick Allen and Baron Windels to crown the OAOAST's first official King and to reign supreme in the land of the OAOAST. COACH A pretty good lineup, if you ask me. There's at least... ooh... four men worthy of being kings. COLE No prizes for guessing who you think those four are, I suppose. Well whoever comes out on top next week will have to earn it, there's no question about that. A single elimination tournament, a test of attrition, that's next week and what a tournament it promises to be. Folks, we will see you next week live from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, for the Nerdly Spectacular. Good night! FADE OUT

-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- I'm very tempted to change the theme song to this... I just may do it to. We come to the OAOAST Arena We then zip to sofa central where Michael Cole and Da Coach are decked out in Anglemania FUR COATS. Hold up a minute there's two much swag in her I gotta crack the window.... There we go. COLE Welcome, welcome, welcome to Saskatoon the sight of tonight's HeldDOWN~! We are one week away from the extravaganza known as The Nerdly Spectacular! I'm Michael Cole, joined as always by Johnathan Coachman. We will be crowning a king of the ring next week in Edmonton, but who that king will be is still hotly contested. COACH That's right, and we have two king of the ring qualifiers here tonight. LATER TONIGHT KING OF THE RING QUALIFIERS JUMBO VS CHRISTIAN WRIGHT LANDON MADDIX VS BIFF ATLAS TONIGHT! ALSO TONIGHT A COLD DISH OF REVENGE THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS VS TEAM HEYROSS TONIGHT COLE And that Team Heyross versus The Heavenly Rockers ought to be amazing! 3 Doors Down’s ode to the army “Citizen Soldiers” hits, and Baron Windells and Tim Cash storm through the entrance doors with purpose and intent. COLE We're kicking things off with the classiest guys in the OAOAST Citizen Soldiers! COACH That's a great selling point. Classy. And when they're behind the fans can chant "quiet dignity" at them. It'll be great. Behind the duo is Melody Nerdly, clad in daisy duke shorts and flannel top, warming up the audience and stirring their passions. Doesn’t that sound nice. Stirring their passions. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of twenty minutes. Introducing first, from Peoria, Illionois, he is Gentleman Tim Cash! And his partner he hails from San Antonio, Texas, he is The Lonestar Gunslinger….BARON WINDELLS! Accompanied by Melody Nerdly, they are…..CITIZEN SOLDIERS! A loud cheer goes up for the duo as Baron, wearing burnt orange trunks, stomps down the entry way. Cash, in white trunks with Cash written in green font, offers the legendary TWO HANDED HANDSHAKE to the gathered front row fans. COLE This match came about after The Lethal Rumble where Citizen Soldiers and The Deadly Alliance had several contentious run ins. The Wall by Kanas comes to life as the entry way fills with lights and matching smoke. Entrance doors split apart bringing out the intimidating threesome of ThunderKid, Sandman, and Mister Dick. They stand tall and proud atop the entrance stage, unaffected by the jeers and taunts that swell around them. ThunderKid wears black bicycle tights with white lightening bolts down the side, and matching black boots and elbow pads. Sandman wears his traditional garb of bandanas, black sweatpants and a white sleeveless Deadly Alliance shirt. Mister Dick sports black athletic pants and a Texas A&M football jersey along with his glittery white cowboy hat. BUFFER And their opponents, being accompanied by Mister Dick, first from Green Bay, Wisconsin, he is a former United States and tag team champion….THUNDERKIIIIDDDDDDDD! And his partner, a former Heartland Champion, he is from South Of Heaven, THE SAAAAAANDMAAAAAAAAN! “BOOOOOOOOO!” Sandman enters the ring and discards his bandana, showing a face that’s been worn and tested by numerous battles over the years. TK raises his arms, drawing strong boos from the Saskatoon audience. Elsewhere Mister Dick takes a seat at the sofa central. MISTER DICK Well, I’ll be, this is mighty comfortable! I may have to trade my Anglemania mainevent for a seat on this thing. COLE History is in the making! For the first time ever it is Citizen Soldiers versus the Deadly Alliance. MISTER DICK All four of them are talented as a blue ribbon winning pig but they ain’t got nothing on Mister Dick and I mean that with all due respect of course. COLE Your old partner Baron did almost have you eliminated from the Lethal Rumble. MISTER DICK Baron’s almost done a lot of things to me. The boy and I are competitive as two horses fighting over the last sugar cube. I got one up on him at Anglepalooza, he’ll get one up on me sometime down the road. It’s just gonna be that way. There’s a bit of an argument between Sandman and TK over who will start the contest. The debate becomes heated enough that the referee has to step into the verbal spat and anoint TK the starter of the contest. DING DING DING An intense stare down occurs between both ThunderKid and Baron Windells. Once that stand off comes to a close, Windells captures TK into a side headlock. BW wrenches on the hold, torqing on TK’s neck and offering him annoying pain. COLE In my opinion we have two of the greatest athletes in the OAOAST standing in that ring. MISTER DICK Uh-uh! Think again, pencil dick, no one stands up to myself. How do you think I got the stamina to pump Malaysia all night every night or win the Lethal Rumble from the number one entrant? It comes from being the best damn athlete your beady little crooked eyes have ever seen. ThunderKid pushes BW into the ropes, but doesn’t find much luck with that move as BW bounces off the cables to shoulder block him to the canvas. Next BW makes another run of the ropes, but finds himself leapfrogged by the agile Green Bay native. When he makes his third return, TK drops to his bell and strikes him with a drop toe hold. BW is then scrapped off the canvas and thrown into the ropes by TK. The former Heartland champion ducks his head, causing a leapfrog from BW. The cables spew BW backwards and he takes TK off his feet with a leaping shoulder tackle. Windells attempts to follow up with a running elbow strike, but TK slides out the way. He quickly rolls upright and throws a lunging elbow attack at BW. However, WIndells side steps the move and then grabs hold of TK’s waist. From there he throws TK to the ground with a side belly to belly suplex! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” “Go home and be a family man!” Melody quotes Guile from street fighter. MISTER DICK That’s what I don’t miss about the Lonestar Gunslingers, her and her crazy talk! TK is back onto his feet, but is hammered with powerful overhand punches by the former tag team champion! Once done with beating away at TK, BW whips him across the ring. TK smashes into the corner with such force that it pushes him back towards the center of the ring. BW seizes on this opportunity and darts at TK. But the Green Bay native captures him a side belly to belly suplex. TK then attempts the first cover of the contest…. ONE! TWO! Baron makes the kickout, bringing joy the sold out audience. COLE A close call there, Baron surely wasn’t expecting that suplex. TK throws himself off the ropes, and returns with high flying cross body block. But BW catches him within his well muscled arms and then throws him backwards with the Devil’s Addiction! The fans cheer as TK arches his back in pain and misery. His pain only grows worse, when Baron Windells pulls him into a standing front facelock. COLE Brigham Young Cocktail? MISTER DICK I hate that damn move worse than I hate you, Cole! But Sandman rushes into the ring and strikes BW in the back of the head. Somewhat offended by the help, TK shouts to Sandman he could’ve gotten out the hold on his own. “Enforce the rules, you must!” Melody reminds the referee in her Yoda voice. Baron does his own version of enforcing by attacking the Sandman to the crowd’s glee. Less to their delight is the fact that ThunderKid jumps the crowd favorite from behind. Together the Deadly Alliance members beat on BW with clubbing blows to the back. This offends Tim Cash’s senses of honor and integrity and he rushes into the ring to defend his partner! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Eventually BW and TK carry themselves out the ring, leaving behind the duo of Cash and Sandman. The brawling ability of the former Heartland titleholder wins out over Cash’s gentlemanly style as he beats his foe into a neutral corner. Sandman begins lighting up Cash with vicious closed fists that are warned against by the referee. But Cash takes matters into his own hand by tossing Sandman into the corner he once resided in. The fans come alive with cheers as Cash pounds on his rival with perfect knife edge chops. MISTER DICK Really Sandman? Getting lit up by the biggest bag of pussy in the OAOAST? Is that what the Deadly Alliance is about now? Cash backs away to the center of the ring to rally the audience with some hand clapping. Once they’re truly behind him, he runs to Sandman and nails him with a leaping body splash! As Sandman sags to the canvas, Cash celebrates by raising his arms to the adoring fans. MISTER DICK Now this guy s’posed to be the Ultimate Nice Guy, I ain’t buyin that for a silly minute, if I did what he was doin’ I’d get yelled outta house and home fer being a showboat. Sandman staggers towards the center of the ring, and finds himself under fire from a series of jabs by Tim Cash. As the blows leave Sandman stunned in the middle of the ring, Cash grabs onto him and attempts to crack his back with a Cashback (Randy Orton style backbreaker) but Sandman avoids the deadly signature attack by giving Cash an inverted headbutt! The unique move floors the Gentlemen, and allows Sandman to strike him with a leaping knee drop! “Come on Sandman, hit him harder than that!” TK chides his partner from the apron. COLE ThunderKid oddly going after Sandman. I don’t understand that. MISTER DICK Like the US Army ThunderKid is trynna make Sandy be all he can be. Visibly annoyed with TK, Sandman rakes Cash off the canvas and circles him inside a rear waistlock. This does not exactly sit well with BW, who rushes into the ring and delivers a lariat to the back of Sandman. The former Heartland Champion tumbles over in annoying amounts of pain. MISTER DICK That ain’t gentlemanly! COLE Baron isn’t the one who claims to be a gentlemen. Forgoing the legal man rules, the referee allows Baron Windells to remain in the match. The buff Texan throws a cascade of punches at Sandman’s head as he tries to get back towards is feet. Once through with simple punches, he brings Sandman to his feet and throws him into the ropes. Windells lifts up his leg for a big boot but Sandman sweeps bellow the dangerous strike. Unfortunately for him he’s then caught by a whirling elbow from The Lonestar Star Gunslinger. “YEAAAAAA!” The fans continue to cheer as wrestling’s last real good guy is tagged into the contest. He grabs onto Sandman’s arm and launches him into the far corner. But as he charges in after him, Sandman throws out an elbow that knocks Cash away. With The Gentlemen weakened Sandman rushes after him with a lariat. But Cash swings forward with a lariat and both men wipe each other out. The referee immediately begins the count, as both men struggle to move. ONE! TWO! THREE! Each competitor stirs, buts its Sandman who puts forth the most movement. Because of this he’s able to make a hasty tag to ThunderKid. The god of thunder enters the ring and cuts off Cash from his partner with a leaping elbow drop! MISTER DICK Damn smart move by ThunerKid? Now why can’t sum-a-bitch do that all the time? An irish whip sends Tim Cash into the ropes. As he returns TK floors him with a lunging back elbow. No sooner than a second after Cash hits the canvas TK runs over and elbows BW off the ring! “BOOOOOOOOO!” The audience’s mood grows even worse when TK lifts Cash off the canvas and drives his head through the ring with a deadly pile driver. COACH That’s not a move you see often in the OAOAST. MISTER DICK Whatever works ya gotta use it. Smiling to himself, TK hooks both of Cash’s legs for a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! But Baron Windells breaks up the pinfall at the last possible second “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans and Melody shout. COACH Get him out of there, ref! Angered by BW’s interference, TK takes it out on Cash with hard and vicious stomps. Once through with those attacks, TK applies the tag to Sandman. “BOOOOOOOOOO!” the audience voices their displeasure as Sandman makes his latest appearance into the ring. Sandman wraps his arms around Cash’s waist and within seconds he flings The Gentlemen backwards with a release German Suplex! While Cash cringes in pain, Sandman makes the tag with ThunderKid. COLE Quick tagging by the Deadly Alliance. MISTER DICK Teamwork at its best. They learn from watchin’ me, a former tag champ in my own right. TK wears down Cash in the corner with powerful right hands. Next TK hurls him across the ring, causing him to crash into the ring posts. TK snorts like a mad bull and then runs in after him, but misses with a body splash! The fans sing their delight as TK stumbles out the corner. Their cheers become even louder when Cash cracks TK with an enzgiuri. Both men now lie prone on the canvas, each in desperate need of a tag with their partners. “ONE!” “TWO!” “THREE!” Cash begins to inch towards his corner, prompting TK to hold down his legs. But Cash’s strength and will is too much for TK to overcome and a tag is made to The Lonestar Gunslinger! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” MISTER DICK Ah crap on a stick! Baron Windells cleans house like a maid service, taking out both members of the Deadly Alliance with amazingly deadly punches. The fans joy in watching the Gunslinger dominate the disliked duo. The pair scramble towards their feet on opposite sides of Baron. TK lunges forward with a desperation spear. However, BW leaps into the air and TK accidentally spears Sandman! Needless to say Sandman is not pleased with this. Nor is he pleased to be taken into a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! TK attempts to break it up with an elbow, but once again BW moves out the way and Sandman takes the blow directly onto his face. “BARON! BARON! BARON!” The fans’ chants continue as BW hooks TK into a front facelock. From there he leaps upwards and strikes him with the ultra lethal Brigham Young Cocktail (leaping DDT)! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” The referee gets into position to count BW’s fall… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! Sandman breaks the count with a basement dropkick to BW’s head. The fans are mighty displeased with this development, and so is Baron as he’s chased outside by Sandman. Meanwhile back in the ring, TK has staggered upright. But that’s a short lived accomplishment as Cash puts him back on the ground with the lethal Cashback backbreaker! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” But Sandman returns to the squared circle to nail Cash with the Archangel Wings! COLE Oh that had to be it! That had to be it! MISTER DICK Kiss mama goodnight, this baby is all over! But BW enters ring and surprises Sandman with a Brigham Young Cocktail! The fans erupt with immense pleasure as The Lonestar Gunslinger makes the pinfall… ONE! TWO! THREE! BUT THE PIN IS BROKEN UP BY THUNDERKID! “BOOOOOOOOOOO!’ TK strikes Windells with repeated stomps, seeking to delay him from using his deathly finisher. With Windells subdued for the moment, TK rouses Sandman. Though groggy Sandman is able to get towards his feet. He scoops Baron up and holds his arms behind his back. “Here it comes!” TK shouts, then lunges forward with a lariat! But Sandman loses his grip on Windells and The Gunslinger sneaks out the hold. This of course causes TK to crash directly into his partner. “Are you retarded or something?” Sandman complains, and then rolls out the ring to heal himself. MISTER DICK Christ in heaven! What happened to the teamwork I was talking about? How many times are ya gonna hit yer own partner in the face before it stops bein’ an accident? TK tries to explain himself, but as the words spill out his mouth, Tim Cash traps him inside a school boy! CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE!!!! DING DING DING The fans explode with thrilled cheer as Citizen Soldiers hug in the center of the ring. Cash offers his hand in kindness to Sandman, but with his pride as hurt as his body the former Heartland champion merely rolls away. BUFFER Your winners, as a result of a pinfall…..CITIZEN SOLDIERS! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA” COACH Jock, I think you missed your cue. MISTER DICK My cue to do what? COACH To interfere. MISTER DICK Son, lemme lay it out for ya real fast. You gotta do for yourself before others do for yourself. See what I’m sayin? I did for myself in the Lethal Rumble and its got me to Anglemania. Now, if these boys had kept on top of their game instead of falling apart and actin’ like some bickerin’ old hags over a bingo game then we ain’t gonna be havin’ this here conversation. See what I’m sayin’? Now I gotta go mop up this mess before ThunderKid winds up with a kendo stick through his damn skull. Mister Dick leaves sofa central to calm the brewing storm before it tears apart the Deadly Alliance.

We return from break focused on the announce team who are highlighted by soft orange and white lights. COLE Guess who’s joining us on the sofa for our next match, partner? COACH Academy Award-winner Sidney Poitier? COLE Think younger, hotter and gayer! Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Aw, damnit. Coach’s worst fears are realized as COD walkout to the tune of "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne. Things in the arena get pinker and gayer, as the lights flicker from red to pink and the various gay audience members wave their rainbow flags to salute the four time tag team champions. COLE 2010 Anderson Cup Finalists Chicks Over Dicks, welcome to Sofa Central. ALIX Gracias, amigo. COACH Wha…? KRISTA No, Ally, that’s Spanish. We’re in Canada. ALIX Oh right. Bonjour! KRISTA Close enough. HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT! The familiar music of the Heavenly Rockers play them down the multicolored lit stage. BUFFER The following special challenge match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied by HOLLY… COLONEL ABULLAH NERDLY presents the only rock n' wrestling band that matters... SYNTH ABDUL-JABBAR and LOGAN “MACHO MACHO” MANN… THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY ROCKERS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The Heavenly Rockers shoot COD daggers from the ring. COACH There they are, ladies -- and I use that term loosely -- the men who defeated you once for the gold and will defeat you again at the Nerdly Spectacular, this time for the Anderson Cup… the Heavenly Rockers. ALIX It’s 2010, not 2008, Count Chocula. So they beat us once, props to them. Now they gotta do it again. KRISTA And I wouldn’t bet on it if I were you, Coach. “Shine” by Collective Soul cues. BUFFER And their opponents… total combined weight 485 pounds… 3-time former World tag team champions… CHARLIE MOSS, QUENTIN BENJAMIN... TEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Team Heyross pose as red, white and blue pyro blasts in the background. KRISTA Isn’t this the part where you go on and on about Team Heyross being the most decorated tag team in OAOAST history, Cole? COLE Usually, yes. But I thank you for doing that for me. ALIX Krissy, does that mean we get paid double for doing Mikey’s job? KRISTA Silence does a better job than Cole, sweetie. COACH * DINGDINGDING * Benjamin and Synth get the nod for their respective teams and Benjamin executes a fireman’s carry out of a tie-up. Synth charges into a pair of arm drags and then a drop toehold. Benjamin applies a side headlock but Synth shoves him away. Shoulder tackle floors Synth, who turns onto his stomach as Benjamin shoots off the ropes, only to be caught trying to leapfrog with a SPINNING WHEEL KICK! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Synth rolls away and tags out. Logan swings in over the top and points to Moss. COLE Apparently Logan Mann wants no part of Quentin Benjamin. KRISTA Or Logan’s taking a stand against black on black violence in a desperate ploy to win an NAACP since a Grammy is out of the question. * phone vibrates * ALIX Just got a text from Melody. “Pwned!” Moss tags in and takes Logan down with a go-behind, but Logan escapes and rakes the eyes. The Macho MACHO Mann pummels Moss and then sends him for the ride…but Moss puts on the brakes and knocks Logan straight back with a kick, followed by an STO BACKBREAKER! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Moss slams Logan and attempts a Vader Bomb, but Logan gets the knees up and delivers a top rope double axe handle smash! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Logan drives Moss into Synth’s knee and then baits Benjamin inside so he and Synth can double-team Moss in the corner. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Alix, Krista, have you ever been double-teamed by a man? *laughs* KRISTA Hey Coach, have you ever had a dildo rammed up your ass? Because you will in the next few seconds if you don’t shut up! COLE I’d love to see that. And not for any sexual thrill. *nervous laughter* Coach has just been a naughty, naughty boy for a very long time. COACH ALIX Coleminer has a whole new meaning now. COLE Uh… And we have a tag! Thankfully the focus shifts back to the match. Double back elbow decks Moss, and then Synth heads up to the middle rope for THE SKYHOOK ELBOW… BUT NOBODY’S HOME! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Benjamin receives the not so hot tag and cleans house. Moss joins in and all 4 men brawl in the ring. The action spills outside where the Colonel falls into the crotch of Krista! COLE The Colonel going where no man has gone before. Well, not since Ned Blanchard. Repulsed, Abdullah SLAPS Krista! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Krista chases Abdullah around and eventually into the ring, only to have Synth jump her from behind. Synth holds Krista up as Abdullah pulls something out of his pants. COACH Contain your excitement, Cole. The match still ongoing Benjamin tries to sneak up on Synth, but Alix tackles the Synthmeister to the ground and Benjamin gets hit by a FIREBALL intended for Krista! COLE/COACH/MOSS/KRISTA/ALIX * DINGDINGDING * Logan gives Moss a LOW BLOW outside and then shoves him into the RINGPOST. Logan jumps back in and attacks Krista while Holly goes after Alix. Meanwhile, OAOAST officials rush to Benjamin’s aid. COLE All hell is breaking loose. The Heavenly Rockers deliver a pair of PERCUSSION DDT’S on COD, then pose over them as the BRAND NEW theme of The Heavenly Rockers "Khyber Pass" by Ministry plays. COMMERCIAL

Anywhere else in the world it would be considered strange. In the hallways backstage at the OAOAST though? Dressed up in her light blue ballgown, Queen Esther scuttles her way around in a tizzy, passing normal people who are dressed normally, acting normal. Making Queen Esther look even more out of place than she is. In the OAOAST, this is normal. QUEEN ESTHER Oh, this is terrible. Just terrible. As the Queen scuttles around flapping her hands, Josh Matthews appears, giving Esther a start. QUEEN ESTHER OH! MATTHEWS Are you okay? QUEEN ESTHER Good heavens, you appeared from the very air that surrounds you! MATTHEWS Actually I just came out of the bathroom. Door's right over there. Anyway, why are you so flustered? Is there a problem? QUEEN ESTHER Why, there most certainly is. Problems aplenty! Oh, I have been suffering from great sadness all week. Twas to have been a night of great jubilation, but it has all gone wrong! This is not how it was supposed to have been. No no no, it is not. My noble Scottish Kings were to have progressed on to the main attraction of this fine, ancient tournament named in honour of Sir Anderson of Minnesota. But, oh... woe! WOE IS ME! For my Kings were defeated, by two young ladies. Oh, they messed it all up for me. They ruined it all, all of my hopes and dreams, left in tatters! MATTHEWS Well, Krista and Alix... they'll do that to ya. Queen Esther gives Josh a funny look, as if not sure what he's talking about. MATTHEWS Are you okay? QUEEN ESTHER I'm fine. I must go, for my heart needs time to heal. MATTHEWS Uhm, before you go, have you got any thoughts about the upcoming King Of The Ring tournament? Again, Queen Esther gives Josh one of those "what are you talking about" looks. It's amazing how someone walking around a sports arena in a ballgown and tiara can look at someone else as if they're the crazy one. MATTHEWS The King Of The Ring. February 25th. You didn't know about it? QUEEN ESTHER There is to be a King crowned! Oh, my word, then I really must go and prepare myself! Oh, this is the most wonderous news! A competition to find me a King! How marvelous! MATTHEWS Uh, actually... I don't think it's for you. QUEEN ESTHER Oh. I see. Well. Then, I of course applaud the OAOAST for embracing the paegentry of royalty. I hope they shall find themselves a fine King. Although, of course, royalty and nobility like mine is not something you can merely 'win'. MATTHEWS Of course. The Queen stands around for a few seconds, not realising her interview is over, before she marches off, a bit perturbed. COLE Oh dear. Do you think the Queen is feeling a bit threatened by the prospect of a King being crowned in the OAOAST? COACH She's got other things on her mind, Michael. Like what happened a couple of weeks ago. COLE Well Chicks Over Dicks did beat the Queen's team, Danny Boy and Scottish Scott, two weeks ago. And Krista and Alix will be going to the Anderson Cup Final on February 25th, at the Nerdly Spectacular, taking on The Heavenly Rockers. That should be something. COACH And Team Heyross and The Heavenly Rockers is gonna be something violent! COLE Its next! “Dani California” by The Red Hot Chili Peppers starts playing, and the crowd immediately stands up and boos as the entrance doors slide open, and James Riggs steps out. As usual, Riggs doesn’t even bother to pose, instead deciding to just walk down the entrance ramp, mumbling to himself and not looking at the fans. COLE Or not. James Riggs once again ’gracing’ us with his presence. And as we all know, he has had his problems with Tha Puerto Rican the past few weeks. He interrupted Tha Puerto Rican’s return 2 weeks ago to vent his frustrations, then last week, while PRL was being interviewed by his girlfriend, Maggie Nerdly, James attacked PRL from behind with the Rolling Koppou Kick! The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. Cut to footage from last week. The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen again. James Riggs is in the ring and demanding a microphone. COLE That was the scene from last week! A cheap shot, an attack from behind by James Riggs! Riggs clearly taking out his frustrations of being ‘held back’ on Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Clearly he is. Everybody knows that everything good that has happened to Tha Puerto Rican SHOULD have happened to James Riggs! Main eventing AngleMania? That should have been James. Winning his first World Heavyweight Championship in his first AngleMania main event? That should have been James. Winning a 60-Minute Iron Man Match? James. Winning 2 Angle Awards? James again! Being The People’s Champion? Well, that’s really The Rock‘s job, but if anyone should be ripping him off, it SHOULD be James Riggs! JR grabs a microphone from the ringside attendant and threatens to hit him for no reason whatsoever. “Dani California” by The Red Hot Chili Peppers dies down. Riggs is wearing a grey T-shirt, a leather jacket, a watch on his right wrist, a belt with a silver belt buckle, jeans and black workman boots. JAMES RIGGS Have I gotten your attention yet? Have I made an impact yet? Do you know who I am now? My name is James Riggs, and last week, I TOOK DOWN A FORMER WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” JAMES RIGGS Oh yeah. You can boo me. I don’t care anymore. I don’t give a damn whether you like me or not! JR Nation is DEAD as far as I am concerned! COLE It was never alive to begin with. JAMES RIGGS (CONT’D) My wife left me. I could no longer afford to live in my mansion in California so I had to move to piss poor Montana. And I can’t get out of my damn contract! NOTHING matters anymore! I’ve got nothing to lose! So why NOT go after Tha Puerto Rican? Why NOT take the risk? Hell, it paid off and it paid off in spades because it was Tha Puerto Rican who was laying last week after I gave him my Rolling Koppou Kick! More boos from the fans. JAMES RIGGS I now look out for ME and MY best interests! And my best interests include showing the One And Only AngleSault Thread the mistake they made IGNORING ME! The mistake they made overlooking me despite the fact that I have actually held titles in this damn company! COLE Someone’s bitter. COACH Shush. JR They wanted Tha Puerto Rican to be the man! They wanted Tha Puerto Rican to represent them! They wanted Tha Puerto Rican to get the endorsement deals, the roles in movies, the money, the fame, the admiration! THEY WANTED HIM AND NOT ME AND IT MAKES ME SICK TO MY STOMACH! JR is furious! He paces back and forth in the ring, calming himself down before he continues speaking. JAMES RIGGS Well, if that’s the way things have to be, that’s the way things have to be. But, if I have to be ignored, if I have to go down, at least I’m going to go down in a blaze of glory! I took out Tha Puerto Rican. Now, I wonder, just who can I target next? Which other OAOAST veteran who thinks he’s so much better than me can I go after now? Zack Malibu? Alfdogg? Leon Rodez? Krista Isadora Duncan? Why don’t I go after someone long gone, and show them just how much better I am then they ever were? Caboose? Crystal? Calvin Szechstein? Axel? Ragdoll? “Reckless” Drek Stone? I know that Tony Brannigan is backstage. Maybe he would like to do a special interview with me! I’ll be right back. James goes to leave the ring. "THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP..." *DUN DUN* "...IS..." *DUN* "...HERE!" “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role 2000" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and cheering loudly. COLE Hold on there a minute, James Riggs! The lights go down in the arena. PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" in tune with the beat of the song, while smoke fills the entrance stage and spotlights circle around and around the arena. A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and then Tha Puerto Rican quickly saunters out through the smoke to a loud pop from the thousands in attendance. PR stops on the entrance stage to look at his fans, a serious expression on his face. He points to a fuming James Riggs in the ring and says, “Unbelievable.” PRL can’t help but smh at Riggs, before taking a deep breath, and then walking down the entrance ramp to the ring. COLE Tha Puerto Rican not in the best of moods after last week. You can bet that he still feels the effects of that Rolling Koppou Kick in the interview area! Coach has disappeared again. COLE This is why I love it when Tha Puerto Rican comes out here! EXACTLY why! PRL looks directly at James Riggs while slapping hands with the fans. PR, in his ring attire, shakes his head at Riggs again before walking around the ringside area tagging hands. He grabs a microphone from the timekeeper’s table and then climbs up the ring steps onto the ring apron. There, he gives JR The People’s Eyebrow and then enters the ring. COLE Tha Puerto Rican and James Riggs face-to-face again. 2 weeks ago, it ended with a Latin Slam. Last week, it ended with a Rolling Koppou Kick. I wonder how it will end this week? Tha Puerto Rican walks up to James Riggs and engages in a staredown with him. James has the slight height advantage at 6’0” compared to P.R.’s 5’9”, but PRL has the crowd advantage, with the sold out crowd in the Credit Union Centre going nuts for him and rooting his every move. COLE This is what James Riggs wanted. He wanted to be noticed. Well, he has the attention of a former World Heavyweight Champion. Hopefully, he doesn’t regret seeking all of this attention. “Know Your Role 2000” dies down. The crowd is going nuts for PRL. PRL is still staring down JR. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” THA PUERTO RICAN Before you go ahead and beat up interviewers, there’s a little matter of what happened last week to discuss! JAMES RIGGS What’s there to discuss, P.R.? I kicked you right in your arrogant face! I left you laying! There’s nothing more to discuss! It’s over! I made my point! THA PUERTO RICAN You made your point? You think you REALLY made your point? You think that you impress Tha Puerto Rican because you keep your hair long, still dress like it’s 1994, and go around attacking people from behind and kicking them in the face!? You think ONE single Rolling Koppou Kick is going to make myself and the One And Only AngleSault Thread go, ‘Gee. We were wrong about James Riggs! He really is great! Why did we ignore him for so long? James, we’re sorry! Come over here and suck on our proverbial teat!’ UH-UH! I don’t think so! It doesn’t work that way here in the OAOAST! COLE Oh my! THA PUERTO RICAN No James, you wanna make a point? You wanna make an impact? You do so in the ring, where it matters! So, James Riggs, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you will have a match at The Nerdly Spectacular against me! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” THA PUERTO RICAN The bad news is that you will have a match at The Nerdly Spectacular against me! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Tha Puerto Rican stands toe to toe with JR. He stares him down before continuing to speak. THA PUERTO RICAN There’s going to be nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. You’re going to have to man up. You want to show the world just how good you *think* you are? You want people to remember your name? You’re going to have your chance. On the show named after my girlfriend, you will have the spotlight shine down on you! But, I’m warning you, consider this your one AND THA PUERTO RICAN MEANS ONE and only warning: You’re going to regret wanting to make an impact. You’re going to regret wanting to make a name for yourself. You think you’re on top of the world now just because you attacked me from behind? I’d like to see what you do when you actually gotta FIGHT ME in a one-on-one match! You think that I’m intimidated by you? You think that I am shaking in my boots? James, let me tell you something: I have been attacked from behind before. I have been kicked in the face before. I have been punched, slapped, bitten, choked, bloodied, spanked and raked before. I have been electrocuted. I have almost been hung. I have been hit in every part of my body multiple times. I have been hit over the head with chairs, Kendo Sticks, ring steps, ring bells and anything else you can think of. I have been put through tables, barricades, cages. I have fallen off a Hell In A Cell and lived to tell about it and I have also fallen off of ladders! I have shed enough blood to fill 10,000 bathtubs! I have had arenas full of people cheer me! And I have had arenas full of people tell me that I suck! I have suffered more physical, mental and emotional pain than anyone I know! I HAVE EXPERIENCED THE HIGHEST OF HIGHS AND THE LOWEST OF LOWS! AND YET DESPITE ALL OF THIS, I AM STILL STANDING! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” James Riggs just stares at PRL. THA PUERTO RICAN So, if you think for one second that I am frightened at the thought of facing you, then you are sadly, SADLY MISTAKEN! There is nothing you can do to me that I haven’t already gone through! No insult, no sneak attack that can bring me down and break my spirit! No one thing you can think of that somebody else hasn’t already thought of and done to me! I have sacrificed 12 years of my life for this business. I’m only 30-years-old, yet there are some days when I can’t walk at all as if I was 90-years-old! Where the pain just is too much. You haven’t experienced that. You don’t know that feeling. You don’t know HALF of the things that I do, and you haven’t gone through HALF of the things that I have! There is not one advantage you have over me. None at all. Everything you can do, I can do better. It’s that simple. I am going to win next Thursday, James. Not only because The Lightning Bolts want it. The crowd cheers! THA PUERTO RICAN But simply because I can. And that’s the truth, Ruth. “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE PRL laying into James Riggs on the microphone. Tha Puerto Rican stares at JR. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” THA PUERTO RICAN So, what are you going to do now? What are you going to do now that I am staring at you face-to-face? Huh? What do you have planned? What diabolical scheme do you have in the works? Huh? I’m right here. I’m staring you right in the face. You’re looking at your opponent next Thursday right in the eyes standing one inch away from you! WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO!? WHAT NOW!? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO!? YOU GOT YOUR CHANCE! YOU SAY YOU WANT TO MAKE A NAME FOR YOURSELF!? GO AHEAD! MAKE AN IMPACT, I DARE YOU! Tha Puerto Rican sticks his right hand in front of James Riggs’ face. He then turns it around and says... THA PUERTO RICAN JUST BRING IT~! JAMES RIGGS … James Riggs turns around and exits the ring. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE What? After all that!? He’s just leaving!? The crowd boos loudly. “JAMES RIGGS SUCKS!” “JAMES RIGGS SUCKS!” “JAMES RIGGS SUCKS!” “JAMES RIGGS SUCKS!” Riggs ignores the chants and simply walks up the entrance ramp. COLE Riggs had his chance to do something to Tha Puerto Rican face-to-face, but he just left! Seems as though SOMEONE is a little intimidated, and it’s not the person standing in the ring! JR stands on the entrance stage and stares at PRL with a cocky smirk on his face. PRL stares back with a serious expression on his face. COLE James Riggs might be regretting attacking Tha Puerto Rican now. He can't just attack him from behind again in front of all of these people and with the AngleTron RIGHT THERE. But he won’t have anywhere to run next Thursday night when he and Tha Puerto Rican hook it up one-on-one in Edmonton! “Know Your Role 2000” starts playing over the P.A. system. Tha Puerto Rican starts running his mouth as James Riggs continues standing on the entrance stage doing nothing but smirking. COLE Well, James Riggs got his wish. He will once again be wrestling on the One And Only AngleSault Thread Television Network against a former World Heavyweight Champion AND The Most Electrifying Man In Professional Wrestling in just one week’s time! Another match has been added to The Nerdly Spectacular, an event I am sure Tha Puerto Rican is most looking forward to for obvious reasons! Tha Puerto Rican will be making his much anticipated in-ring return to the One And Only AngleSault Thread taking on former OAOAST X-Division Champion and former OAOAST 24/7 Champion James Riggs in a one-on-one contest! We’ve still got more HeldDOWN~! to come! We’ll be right back in 2 minutes and 2 seconds! Stay with us! Don’t go away! Tha Puerto Rican is still running his mouth at a smirking James Riggs as “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing. FADE OUT COMING UP NEXT TEAM HEYROSS VS THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS NEXT! COMMERCIAL

Returning from the commercial break, "Sweet Home Chicago" hits and cheerful as ever, the bigman Jumbo struts through the entrance way. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall and is a King Of The Ring Qualifying Match. Introducing first, from Chicago, Illinois... weighing in at four hundred, fourty pounds... JJJUUUUUUUUMMMMMBBOOOOOOOOOOO!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Jumbo tags hands down to the ring and makes his way around, the sight of this gigantic man strutting around in his red leather jacket bringing great joy to the people of Saskatoon. COLE King Of The Ring Qualifying Match here tonight, with the winner moving on to the eight man, single elimination stage at the Nerdly Spectacular. The bigman Jumbo set for action and it's always a great time when Jumbo's in the house! COACH You know, Jumbo'd be the perfect person to win this tournament. COLE (wary) Why's that? COACH Well, he's already used to having everything King-Sized! Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum (Jesus Walks) God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down (Jesus Walks with me) The only thing that that I pray is that my feet don't fail me now (Jesus Walks) And I don't think there is nothing I can do now to right my wrongs (Jesus Walks with me) I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long Through the thick fog of night, emerges Christian Wright and Lorelei DeCenzo. The God Child soaks up the bile from the audience, and then releases it with one powerful thrust of his arm into the air. Right at that moment green pyro blazes upwards towards the rafters. Looking splendid in a backless yellow gown, Lorelei joins him his side with a bright and bold smile. Together they hook each other's arms and walk down the entrance ramp with heads held high in pride and contempt for the audience. COACH Ol' Jumbo's got his work cut out for him tonight. BUFFER And the opponent. Now residing in Washington D.C... weighing in at approximately 8 and 1/3 BARS OF GOLD~! He represents THE ENTERPRISE and is "THE GOD CHILD"... CCHHRRRIIIIISSSTTIIIIIIAAAAANN... WWRRRIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHTT!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Christian climbs the steps into the ring, showing no intimidation from Jumbo as he enters. COLE Christian Wright is still a man of his word, still undefeated in the OAOAST ever since he made his proclaimation to remain so. Now four months without a pinfall or submission against him and I have to admit, I doubted Christian Wright at first. But he has been most impressive. COACH It just goes to show what a little dedication and some goal orientation can do for a man. CW is a man at the top of his game, no doubt. *DINGDINGDING* The bell sounds, but Christian isn't ready just yet. Taking his time over unbuttoning his dress shirt, The God Child makes his opponent wait for him. COLE However, you have to wonder what exactly is going to happen when Christian finally does lose a match. COACH He won't. Not so long as the sun may set and the moon may rise and all that jazz. COLE Well, impressive or not, I don't see how one man, at 26 years old, can go the rest of their career without a loss against their name. And tonight Christian has got to face a man twice his size. We'll see if this newfound confidence can overcome the size and girth of big Jumbo. Finally stripped down and ready to go Christian gets into the match and circles his large opponent. They lock up and Wright tries to fight the power head on. However, Jumbo merely throws Wright off. Shaken up by this, Christian calmly walks back to his corner and kneels down to consult with Lorelei over some new strategy. COLE Confidence or no confidence, that's not the way to overcome Jumbo. CW emerges from the corner and locks up with Jumbo again. This time Wright has a plan in mind, kneeing Jumbo in the gut. Wright dishes out a European uppercut. And a second one. Off the ropes, Wright then hits a clothesline. Jumbo doesn't go down after all this, leaving Christian looking a little perplexed. Running the ropes again he delivers a second clothesline, still not enough to do any more than wobble Jumbo a bit. So CW hits the ropes again, only for Jumbo to cut him off and engulf him with a big body attack! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE Nor is running into Jumbo and expecting him to budge! Cover by Jumbo... 1... 2... Kickout. Wright quickly rolls away and underneath the bottom rope, trying to collect his thoughts. COLE Christian trying to get away, but he's not going to get away for long here. Reaching over the ropes, Jumbo grabs Wright by the hair and drags him back up onto the apron. However, Christian manages to shrug him off and hangs Jumbo across the top rope! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Wright quickly rolls back in and catches Jumbo from behind with a chopblock! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Man down! COLE Oh man, Jumbo's knee buckled on that shot. And that's a lot of weight coming down on your leg if you land awkwardly. Cover by Wright... 1... 2... No. Wright jumps back up and puts the boots to Jumbo, then focuses on the leg. He drops an elbow to the inside of the knee. And then a second. Trying to apply a figure four, he soon realises Jumbo is the wrong size for that kind of move, so settles for a spinning toehold instead. COLE Now Christian going to work on that knee. This is a sounder strategy than the last one. Get this big man down to size. COACH See, the man had a great strategy all along and all you could do was criticise from the sideline. As CW puts the torque on the knee, Jumbo refuses to give up. And after some time being worn away at, he finally aleviates his knee by kicking Wright off with the free leg. Wright is straight back to his feet though. Not letting Jumbo up, he kicks the bigman back down before applying the toehold again. Lorelei applauds from ringside, the only one in the arena enjoying this. "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" WRIGHT SILENCE! "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" Irritated by the chants, Wright lets go of the hold and drops an elbow on Jumbo's chest, looking for a pin... 1... 2... No. Jumbo hobbles back to his feet and catches CW walking in with a right hand. And another one. Wright goes to the knee with a quick kick though and hobbles Jumbo again. Ducking behind, Wright leaps up and slaps on a Sleeper Hold. With all of Christian's weight on his back Jumbo's knee eventually buckles and he falls down trapped in the hold. COACH We're playing the slow game, Michael. Let's hope Jumbo's been doing his cardio and not his carbohydrates. The crowd get behind Jumbo as they sense him beginning to weaken. Not just yet says Jumbo, wagging his finger. He climbs back up and elbows Christian in the gut, almost forcing his guts out through his mouth! COLE Oh, Christian got caught good that time! With Wright doubled up, Jumbo picks him up and delivers a bodyslam, bad leg and all! COLE And are we going to see it already!? Jumbo, looking to end the undefeated streak with a real splash... an XL Splash, to be precise! Backing into the ropes Jumbo pumps his arm and goes for the XL SPLASH... ...BUT CHRISTIAN ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Nobody home! And maybe it was a little too early for Jumbo after all. COACH Eyes bigger than his stomach. Always been Jumbo's problem. Which considering the size of his stomach is quite a large problem. Jumbo comes up holding his knee after landing and Christian sees an opportunity. He climbs to the middle rope and with Jumbo still down and hurt, comes off with an elbowdrop from the second floor. Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Despite the kickout, Jumbo is still prone. So Wright starts climbing the turnbuckles again. COLE Look at this, Christian Wright heading to the top this time. You don't see that often! Off the top, Christian flies and hits a Frog Splash!! He hooks the leg as best possible, trying to put Jumbo away... 1... 2... Kickout! Wright puts his hands on his hips and shakes his head. COLE Jumbo kicking out, but that's about all. COACH Guess what... he's fallen... and he can't get up! Climbing the turnbuckles again Christian has the time to reach the top again, with Jumbo still struggling to pick himself back up. Able to roll over and start to reach his feet, Jumbo doesn't make it all the way, as Wright comes off with another Frog Splash, this time aimed at the legs, crashing down on the backs of Jumbo's knees!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Jumbo groans in pain and reaches for his leg, but Wright is busy wrapping them up and applying, as best possible on a 440 pound man, a cloverleaf. COLE Looking for the Wallstreet Cloverleaf, but can he get it on Jumbo... he can! COACH Wow! Wright manages to lock in the Wallstreet Cloverleaf and sits back, pulling up on Jumbo's legs as much as he's able. At first Jumbo shakes his head no, despite being in clear pain. However after a good ten seconds in the hold and no sign of escaping, Jumbo eventually can take no more and gives up, to a satisfied smile from Lorelei. *DINGDINGDING* COLE Wow is right. Christian Wright advances! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, advancing to the 2010 King Of The Ring... "THE GOD CHILD"... CCHHHRRIIIISSSTTIIIIAAAAANN... WWRRRRIIIIIIGGHHHHTT!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Letting go of the submission Wright raises his hands to the skies as Lorelei rushes around to fetch him a microphone. The referee checks on Jumbo and his injured knee meanwhile, as CW takes the mic. WRIGHT From this day forth, I defiantly vow... no man, woman nor beast shall commit thine self to defeat! The crowd boo as the increasingly confident Christian soaks in the grandeur of his latest win. COACH And if I'm a betting man, there's your next King of the OAOAST. A King, a God Child, a man to be looking up to. COLE We'll see how he'll perform under the spotlight of the Nerdly Spectacular! Will he be a king or will he be a peasant? NERDLY SPECTACULAR Younger Sexier Nerdlier KING OF THE RING MATCHES EVENING GOWN PILLOW FIGHT: THE NERDLIES VS QUEEN ESTHER, LORELEI, HOLLY, LINDSAY GONZALEZ ANDERSON CUP FINAL: CHICKS OVER DICKS VS THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS February 25th, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada COMMERCIAL

MIND BODY SOUL DESTROYED DESTROY MORGAN NERDLY MIND BODY SOUL The violent war of words against Morgan Nerdly has attracted the interest of her sister Maggie. The youngest of the Nerdlies is seen walking down the hallway, hurrying past those that would wish to greet her. She eventually makes her way into Josie's office, which is littered with papers, posters, and OAOAST magazines. JOSIE Maggie? The pleasant sister. What can I do for you? MAGGIE I’m not trying to offend ya or anything, but as an interviewer and a sister I gotta ask…. JOSIE Ask what, Maggie. MAGGIE These “Destroy Morgan” messages aimed at my sis, do you know who’s behind it? Josie leans back in her chair and sighs a heavy sort of sigh. JOSIE Yes. MAGGIE JOSIE Don't be that shocked. It is my plan after all. I have eyes and ears everywhere in this company. But, lately they’re all focused on Morgan. I am consumed by Morgan. Morgan, Morgan, Morgan. I can see everything, I can see every step she takes, or even feel every breath she makes. MAGGIE That sounds mad stalkerish. JOSIE Your sister is more than a thorn in my side, she’s a cancer on my brain. I need to be rid of her, I need her away from the OAOAST and away from me. Far away. Very far away. I am desperate. I am losing it, with every day it gets worse. I don't understand why she can survive through every obstacle I've laid down for her. I've set a field of landmines and she just tip toes through it. I can not and will not stand it! I’ve had this plan for quite some time, Maggie, but I didn’t know when the appropriate moment was to unleash it. Well, Maggie, the time has come. Two weeks from now on HeldDOWN live from Montreal, Quebec, there will be a women’s title match. MAGGIE Get out! JOSIE Between Lindsay Gonzalez and Morgan. Should Morgan beat Lindsay, my plan will kick into overdrive, and your sister will come face to face with the one meant to destroy her. This is not about titles anymore. Its about freedom. And that freedom is from Morgan Nerdly. Because she is a blight on my company, and I’ve lived too long with her around. So on the next HeldDOWN, Morgan’s mind, her broken body, and her wretched soul will be crushed by one person. Morgan will look into this person's eyes and realize that her painful life will be coming to an end. Go and give your sister that message. COMMERCIAL COMING UP NEXT KING OF THE RING QUALIFIER CHRISTIAN WRIGHT VS JUMBO NEXT! COMMERCIAL

lol booing thread, a typo not to be corrected! Citizen Soldiers Vs ThunderKid and Sandman with Mister Dick on guest commentary

As usual I'll write something if you will. Holly Vs Jade Rodez-Duncan

Good show, chaps. Recommended reading.

The Deadly Alliance, sans Mr. Dick, made their way out to the ring to start the show. Reject was very complinmentary towards Mr. Dick, lauding him for winning the Lethal Rumble, and said he couldn't wait to meet him at the Deadliest AngleMania of all time. TK complained about MD's actions during the duo's tag team match on HeldDOWN~!, and Reject said it would all blow over. He said that all that mattered was that the OAOAST World title would stay with the Deadly Alliance through AngleMania IX. ***Holly W/Abdullah Abir Nerdly Vs Jade W/ 2010 Manager of the year Maya Duncan-Blanchard*** With Jade’s family facing Holly’s family for the Anderson Cup at Nerdly Spectacular, things were very intense between these two young ladies. Holly fought fierce and furious with brawling offense. But Jade would go onto counter with some theatrical cruiserweight moves, reminiscent of her mother. But Jade had no defense against Abdullah Abir Nerdly who’s interference allowed Holly to take control of the contest. The Mirage (twisting fisherman’s suplex) nearly got a victory for the Angel Of Death. But thanks to support from her sister and the audience, Jade manage to fight back. The two lovely combatants traded near falls as the audience sat on the edge of their seat. Abdullah attempted to distract the referee, and found success in such a venture. But he paid a costly price as Maya pulled him off the apron and decked him with a KIDology. But as this was going on Logan snuck into the ring and gave Jade a Percussion DDT! Holly was able to pick up an easy victory after that. The Rocker trio stood stall with no COD threat forthcoming. Alix and Krista, obv too famous for Syndicated television. Did you ever see Morgan Freeman on Pacific Blue? Pacific Blue wasn't a syndicated show you say? I say you can suck a dick, no homo. Winner:Holly, via pinfall Mariachi stood with Maggie Nerdly to give an interview about his partner Moracca. Mariachi stated that Moracca had retired from pro wrestling after doctors recommended he do so following the brutal attack from Quiz. Mariachi promised the three R’s for Quiz revenge, retribution, and RAPE! Soon Lorelei interrupted the interview to tease Maggie about her smallish waif like build and that her tiny body would be embarrass her at the Nerdly Spectacular when she (Lorlei) stripped her naked! Fiery as always Maggie didn’t appreciate the insults and a catfight ensued. Mariachi shrieked as scantily clad females were teased to be present in front of his woman-hating eyes. But he was put out of his heterosexual miserey when Quiz attacked him from behind with a BIG BOOOOOOOOOOOT! Quiz then stood stall as wrestling's largest gay basher. Tony Brannigan conducted a podium interview with the Christ Air Express, who hyped their upcoming tag title match against the LDC Moneygang at the Nerdly Spectacular, promising to stay late and take a photo with every fan in the arena after they win the titles. "We're gonna make the Enterprise file for chapter 7!" concluded MEL. 2010 King Of The Ring Qualifying Match ***CPA -VS- Shayne Brave w/2010 Manager of the year Maya Blanchard-Duncan*** A big disparity in size and strength faced "Showtime" Shayne in this one. That didn't dampen Shayne's enthusiasm and he took the fight to CPA, fast and furious from the opening bell. CPA was given the run around for a little while and almost caught out with a couple of pinning cradles. All it took was one, hard bodypunch to cut off Shayne though. From that point on CPA dominated. Slowly picking Shayne apart, CPA took his sweet time. And Shayne's only resistance was escaping a Dominator, only to miss with a twisting bodypress attempt off the top, leaving himself prone for the match-winning Gigaton Punch. Winner: CPA, via pinfall The Love Doctors stood on the interview podium with Tony Brannigan. They explained the reason they haven’t stepped in the ring in several weeks was for their own protection. They labeled the OAOAST tag teams as jealous savages who would dare harm their stunning looks. The Docs said until the OAOAST ensures that their comely features will not be placed in any danger they will not compete in a match. The audience booed such blatant nonsense and cowardice. The Love Docs just trynna stay fly 2 dey die, brehs, ain’t no need to get ya hate on. 2010 King Of The Ring Qualifying Match ***Detective Bosley -VS- Baron Windels w/Melody Nerdly*** Both these men had tag team partners in the tournament already, but only one could join them. The opening exchanges saw the two powerhouses testing each other's mettle. A battle of shoulder tackles ended up even. And a test of strength was broken by Bosley, determined not to be out-MANed by anyone. The two agile bigmen went toe to toe for most of the match, both impressing. Bosley's springboard back elbow matches by Baron's flying lariat from the top in terms of impressive feats of agility. In the end, Bosley struggled to keep his Texan opponent on the defensive for any significant amount of time and eventually Baron started to get the motors going. A big Bulldog set Bosley up for the big Texas Lariat, but Bosley surprised Windels with a flying roundhouse and almost stole the victory. Not trying his luck with his brainbuster, Bosley instead tried to finish Baron off with the Justifiable Homicide (Unprettier). Baron shoved Bosley off and NAILED him with the big diving lariat though. After a series of reversals and a missed roundhouse from the crack Detective, Baron then scored with the Brigham Young Cocktail and advanced on to the King Of The Ring field of eight! Winner: Baron Windels, via pinfall