Patty O'Green

Returning from break we find Lindsay Gonzalez and The Can Am Assassins standing inside a ring illuminated by purple and white lights. "SKANK! SKANK! SKANK!" LINDSAY Thank you very much for that warm reception. I appreciate it. Now for the benefit of those of you with memory problems let me remind you, who is the manager of champions. Me. I've taken PRL and Stephen Joseph to hights they couldn't even dream of in their feeble weak minds. Without me to guide him, PRL would be peddling a fruit cart some place in the south Bronx. "BOOOOOOOOOO!" LINDSAY And Popick? The less said about that particular piece of four-eyed filth the better. Let's just say his considerable deficiencies in every aspect of sports entertainment was masked by my careful manipulation of him. Don't think my manager of champions moniker died at Anglepalooza. The LDC Moneygang may have control over the titles, but I have control over this entire tag division! With me as their brains and guiding light, Kenneth and Felix, who had previously accomplished nothing of their own will one day reign supreme as the one and only tag team champions. "SHUT THE HELL UP! SHUT THE HELL UP! SHUT THE HELL UP!" LINDSAY But what about the women's title match? What about how victory was stolen from me in my true moment of greatness? How about that? How about we talk about talk about Morgan Nerdly somehow pulling of a miracle and beating me! "YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" LINDSAY Morgan, don't make me have to get my revenge on you. Don't disgrace yourself any further by taking me on. I appreciate the fact Josie gave me the opportunity for the women's title, but lets not mix up facts. You may have beaten me, but you're not fit for the women's championship. You aren't even fit for sports entertainment. You are a weak and fragile girl, and it would be a shame seeing you broken by this harsh business. COACH Such a caring young woman! COLE She's full of it, Coach. LINDSAY Josie is talking to me about setting up a rematch. She's desperate for you to lose the women's title. But we don't have to fight. You don't have to put yourself through anymore trauma. I will give you one chance. Just one last chance to hand over your women's title to the more deserving, more mentally stronger woman. I have big plans I can execute, don't push me any farther than you already have. I'm taking it gently on you just because you've had such a hard life. But if I don't get my women's title in due time, myself and the Assassins will be out looking for you. Now please play my music! GO! To un-explain the unforgivable, Drain all the blood and give the kids a show. By streetlight this dark night, A séance down below. There are things that I have done, You never should ever know! And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. COLE Uh-oh! FELIX AND KEN LINDSAY Are you two going to stand around like buffoons or are you going to get her? Felix and Ken get the harshly stated message. With fists clenched for violence the two men quickly head to the entrance ramp. Lindsay smiles to herself, knowing Morgan is soon to meet a painful demise. Or at least she might be if she hadn't snuck through the audience. Lindsay isn't aware of Morgan's arrival until the petite Nerdly girl has her onto her shoulders. By that time her awareness is much too late, as Morgan throws her down with a Shock And Awe! "YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!1111!!!!11!!" The women's champion leaves just as quickly as she came. She heads through the stands nervous and frightened by all the audience members who try to high five her. COLE When will Lindsay get the message, you don't push Morgan Nerdly? COACH What a cowardly assault! COLE Was Morgan at 5'1 supposed to trade blows with a gigantic chia pet and Felix Strutter? COACH Still cowardly. And she wants us to feel sorry for her and her condition. Her condition is that she's a sneak and a coward! COLE Your opinions are strictly your own. Folks, stay with us for more HeldDOWN~! TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT ANDERSON CUP SEMI FINAL CHICKS OVER DICKS VS LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND THE MAINEVENT COMING UP NEXT ANDERSON CUP SEMI FINAL THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS VS ORANGE COUNTY COBRAS NEXT! COMMERCIAL

Coming back from break the groovy grooves of "Rock Your Baby" turn the arena into a makeshift disco, as Vinny Valentine enters into the dry ice covering the stage and starts busting some dated moves. BUFFER The following contest is a King Of The Ring Qualifying Match, set for one fall. Introducing first, from Brooklyn, New York. Weighing two hundred, twenty eight pounds... "THE DISCO DUCK"... VVVVVVVIIIIIIIINNYYYYY VVVVVAAAAAALLLLEEEEENNTTIIIIIINNEEEEEEEEE!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Vinny disco dances his way to the ring, looking proud of himself and his discoing abilities. COLE The man who stole Biff Atlas's Lethal Rumble dreams this past Sunday, attacking Biff as he was about to enter the match. COACH Hey, remember the other week when we were talking about Biff holding the Lethal Rumble record, for least time in the ring? And how we were all like "well, at least he won't beat that this year"? COLE I don't remember saying that... COACH Well, guess what. HE DID. This year he managed to set the record of 0 seconds! What a loser! 3 Doors Down's "It's Not My Time" hits next and a much warmer reception greets Wrestling's Last Real Good Guy, Tim Cash. A warm reception which is given right back to the fans by Tim, who makes sure to give a warm, TWO-HANDED handshake to the fans as he passes down the aisle. BUFFER And his opponent. Hailing from Peoria, Illinois... weighing two hundred, twenty pounds. He is wrestling's last real good guy... "GENTLEMAN" TTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMM... CCAAAAAAASSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE So both of these men looking to make it to the one night, first ever OAOAST King Of The Ring tournament to be held February 25th, when we are in Nerdly Country, Coach! COACH Even I gotta be able to find some tappable ass in that city! There's hundreds of girls there. And since they're Nerdlys, they share one brain cell between them! COLE Just the kind of woman you like. COACH Preach on! *DINGDINGDING* As always Tim tries to start the match off on the right note, with a handshake. Vinny would rather dance though. Not letting being shunned get him down, Tim compliments Vinny on his dance moves before they lock up. COLE What a kind and curteous king Tim Cash would make. COACH Fuck that noise. Kings have gotta be ruthless, rule with an iron fist, command their kingdom and make peasants clean their feet. That kinda shit. Cash applies a side headlock, keeping Valentine under control. Raising his arm Vinny looks for a way out. And he starts to bust out the Saturday Night Fever John Travolta dance, distracting Tim long enough to escape into a hammerlock! Cash sees the funny side. Dropping down, Cash rolls through and counters with an arm wringer, into a wristlock, bringing Vinny down to the mat. COLE A fine technical wrestler is Tim Cash. Vinny V... that's not really his style. Climbing back up Vinny bides his time, waiting for an opening. Before finding it with a knee to the gut. COLE Well, there you go. Vinny lands with some right hands then sends Cash off with an irish whip. A duck of the head comes too early though and Cash counters with a sunset flip... 1... 2... No! As Vinny kicks out, Cash clamps his legs together though and starts barrel rolling, bringing Vinny V with him for a nauseating ride!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE You spin me round, right round, like a record baby, right round, round round. After two circles of the ring Cash somes to a stop with the disorientated Vinny V back in the sunset position... 1... 2... Kickout! Valentine is quickly back up, but dizzy. He throws a punch, easily ducked by Tim. Concerned for his opponent Tim tries to stop the match and check if Vinny is okay. To which Vinny replies with another punch, also ducked. Angry at being patronised Vinny gets his head right and then lets out a shout, running at Cash with a double axehandle. With a go-behind Cash pulls him down with a schoolboy counter... 1... 2... No! COLE Tim Cash wrestling circles around Vinny V. Quite literally, actually. COACH The man's dizzy, what do you expect? This Cash makes out like he's a nice guy, then he uses tactics like that, making his opponent look stupid. That's not nice. That's mean. Vinny finally manages to cut Cash off, booting him in the gut. Clubbing away at the back Vinny then stops to dance for a second. Boos greet that, so he gets on with the match and hits the ropes. Cash ducks a clothesline and hooks the arms, looking for a backslide. Vinny fights it though... and then GOES LOW, out of the referee's line of sight! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Lowblow, just like we saw happen to Tim at AnglePalooza! COACH That's what happens to nice guys. They get taken advantage of. With Cash caught cold Vinny reaches back, dropping him with a Neckbreaker. Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Vinny picks Cash back up, slamming him near the corner. Up to the second rope The Disco Duck then starts to break out some more disco moves up on the ropes, a prelude to a big elbow buried into the sternum of Gentleman Tim. Cover again... 1... 2... No! Dropping to his knees, Vinny slaps on a chinlock and tries to wear Tim out. COACH Could you imagine Vinny Valentine winning this tournament? He really would be the King Of Disco then! And not just because of that medallion he bought on eBay a couple of years ago that says as much. COLE The one that turned his chest green? COACH Are you accusing Vinny Valentine of wearing cheap jewellery? COLE Does he wear any other kind? With the support and friendship of the fans Tim is willed to fight back up. He goes to the midsection with an elbow. And another. And a third, breaking the hold. Off the ropes, Cash gets caught though and slapped into a Sleeper Hold by The Disco Duck! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Turn down the lights, baby! Tim starts to fade quickly, but realises he's in trouble and gets out. He shoots Valentine into the ropes with a shove in the back and turns the tables, hooking on a Sleeper of his own!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Caught him! The shocked Vinny flails around, flopping like a fish caught in the old school Sleeper. Before he can be put away though Vinny finds the presence of mind to back up, falling into the ropes to gain a break. Tim immediately lets go, not using a second of the referee's count to commit extra, illegal damage. Instead he whips Vinny to the ropes. Cash ducks his head and Vinny reads it, trying to make him pay with a Swinging Neckbreaker, only for Tim to turn it all the way around into a Backslide!! COLE Could have him! 1... 2... NO! Valentine jumps up and goes for a clothesline, but Tim ducks. With a waistlock he runs Vinny into the ropes, looking for a rollup. Vinny hangs on though and as Cash rolls through to one knee, Vinny puts on his BOOGIE SHOES!! COLE OH! Could this be a BIG win for Vinny Valentine!? Cover by Vinny... 1... 2... NO!! COLE Not quite! COACH C'mon Vinny, stay on him. It's not over until the disco ball stops spinning! As Vinny waits for Cash to get back up, suddenly a cheer goes up for BIFF ATLAS!! COACH Oh, what's this moron doing out here!? Biff jumps to the apron and tries to get into the ring, but the referee holds him back. Which leaves him wide open for Vinny V, running him off the apron with a hard knee to the side of the head!! COACH COLE Poor Biff just got rocked. Happy with his work Vinny disco dancing, looking down at Biff laid out at ringside. Nodding to himself, Vinny then turns around... and gets CRACKED in the back of the head with an Enziguri! Vinny flops to the mat and Tim wastes no time, cradling the legs and slapping on the MIDWEST SLING!! The crowd go wild, as it takes Vinny no more than a couple of seconds to give up, tapping like a drunk man!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING* COACH Ah, come on! You're going to take that Tim? Gimme a break. Tim quickly lets go of the hold and celebrates, big smile on his face. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, advancing to the 2010 King Of The Ring Tournament... "GENTLEMAN" TTIIIIIIIMMMMM... CCAAAAASSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Tim shakes the hand of the referee before it's raised in victory. COLE Tim Cash makes it to the King Of The Ring tournament with a big win here on HeldDOWN. COACH At least you didn't call him "Gentleman Tim", or "Niceguy Tim". You have your opponent distracted, then you hit him from behind? That's what counts as being a gentleman these days? COLE That's no worse than Vinny Valentine attacking Biff from behind on Sunday. As the saying goes, do unto others as they'd do unto you. And Vinny V just had it done unto him tonight. Justice from one half of Citizen Soldiers! COACH Ah, baloney. Despite being dazed, Biff is ready to go back into the ring and attack Vinny V again. However Tim Cash holds Biff back, convincing the simple minded Atlas to do the right thing and leave Valentine be. So all that are exchanged are words, Vinny V not happy at Biff's part in his loss and Biff still seething about his former partner's actions. LATER TONIGHT ANDERSON CUP SEMI FINAL ORANGE COUNTY COBRAS VS THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS TONIGHT! ALSO TONIGHT WORDS FROM THE LETHAL RUMBLE WINNER MISTER DICK SPEAKS TONIGHT! COMMERCIAL

???!!!!

Wait are you sure? Wasn't he on one last summer leading up to Reject Vs PRL?

Anderson Cup Semi-Final Last Kings of Scotland Vs Chicks Over Dicks

OAOAST Syndicated! Tony Brannigan conducted a podium interview with the One & Only World tag team champions, the LDC Moneygang and Enterprise CEO Theodore Moneymaker, who proudly declared the Enterprise is alive and well. Moneymaker also announced a reorganization within the group. He'll now manage CMJ and Spencer while Lorelei goes full-time with Christan Wright. Talk shifted to Anglepalooza and the LDCMG successful tag title defense, "Which I'm sure pains you and everybody in this arena to admit" said Reiger. He and CMJ proceed to run down the Christ Air Express, prompting the identical twin sensations to confront them onstage. The CAE expressed disgust at how the LDCMG originally won and since retained the tag titles, causing CMJ to ask if they shouldn't be off getting high somewhere to laughs from his Enterprise partners. "We already high" said MARV, "High on taking those belts away from you" finished MEL. The CAE then slugged the champions to Moneymaker's shock. ***Bohemoth -VS- Brett Gerrard and Corey Lee*** Rare boos greeted Bohemoth on his entrance to the ring. No longer referred to as The Meterosexual Monster by the ring announcer, the bigman was simply all business in this handicap match. The youngsters put up against him were allowed to be in the ring together at the same time, but it made no difference, as Bo fought off their early attack and started laying them to waste with clotheslines and big boots. Lee was almost snapped in two by a Cobra Clutch Backbreaker, Gerrard knocked senseless by a running Yakuza Kick. Making short work of his opponents Bohemoth then laid out Lee with the Spinebuster, slammed Gerrard on top with the Catatonic and pinned both at the same time. Winner: Bohemoth, via pinfall After the match Bohemoth decided to send a further message, by picking both his young opponents up and throwing them both over the top rope to the floor, one after the other. Bohemoth stood tall and looked down at the damage he caused. Before leaving, without any explanation for his actions two weeks ago. Maggie Nerdly gave us an update on Moracca’s condition. It was reported that he had severe facial lacerations, a broken jaw, and a dislocated shoulder. Doctors expressed that he will be out of action indefinitely and were advising him not to return to the OAOAST ring. ***Mariachi, and The Love Doctors Vs Logan Mann, Abdullah Abir Nerdly, and Martin “Quiz” Andrews*** The OAOAST Galaxy was given its first look at the mighty Quiz as he teamed with his bosses Logan Mann and Abdullah Abir Nerdly. Eager to get revenge for his fallen lover, Mariachi was on fire, dominating Abdullah Abir Nerdly and frustrating Logan Mann. Tired of being ran ragged by the luchadore, Mann brought in Quiz. Mariachi’s eyes filled with hatred as he stared down the one who injured his partner. The luchaodre fought with all his strength but was little match for Quiz. Eventually Mariachi was forced to apply the tag to Pigley. But Pigley shook his head and hopped off the apron! Confused, Mariachi went to Anderson for an explanation. But Anderson also shook his head and hopped off the apron. The two men turned their back on their partner and retreated up the ramp. This left Mariachi to be punished by the Pop Quiz (running powerbomb) for an easy pinfall… Winners: Logan Mann, Abdullah Abir Nerdly, Quiz, via pinfall Baron Windells met with lead correspondent Tony Brannigan to discus The Lethal Rumble. Windells expressed how disappointed he was to lose the Rumble in such heartbreaking fashion. But he also noted that if he or Timmy Cash couldn’t win, he was happy for Mister Dick. He said Mister Dick earned his world title shot at Anglemania, and that he’ll be pulling for him when the match comes. BW also apologized for his tantrum after being eliminated, stating that his emotions got the better of him. Not Good Enough To Be In The Rumble Six-Man Tag ***Charlie Moss, Simon Singleton and Shayne Brave w/Molly Nerdly, Jade Rodez-Duncan and Maya Blanchard-Duncan -VS- Synth Abdul Jabbar, James Blonde and Danny Boy w/Holly, Abdullah Abir Nerdly and Queen Esther*** A consolation prize for these six men who's partners were allowed into the Lethal Rumble at their expense. A high-proifle six-man tag team match on Syndicated! ...well, it's something. Simon and Synth started things out, a preview of their two teams Anderson Cup contest this week on HeldDOWN. Everybody got a piece of the action early on, with the interesting collection of managers and valets making it a crowded match inside and outside of the ring. Synth's team eventually gained the advantage, after cutting off Shayne. Some of the teamwork was patchy. But made up for by Abdullah, who got in a few shots whenever possible from the outside. Team Synth kept Shayne isolated for most of the match but it was some indecision between Blonde and Danny Boy, an errant clothesline and then an accidental avalanche in the corner, that allowed Shayne to tag in Singleton. Maya cheered on "Uncle Simon" from the outside as he cleaned house. When the three on one became too much, Moss then came up to help the B.O.S.S out. As things broke down, Abdullah climbed to the apron, trying to distract Moss. Which earned Abdullah a fist to the face! Moss then got into it with Holly, which allowed Synth to attack from behind. They spilled outside and tensions boiled over, leading to Moss and Synth taking their fight up the aisle and brawling off out of sight. That left it down to two on two. That made Blonde and Danny Boy's teamwork no better than before. Their attempted double suplex on Simon was countered by Shayne, who pulled his teammate down to safety for stereo dropkicks on their opponents. Sending him outside, Shayne took care of Danny Boy with a suicide dive. Leaving Simon Singleton alone, to finish off Blonde. Which he did, polishing him off with the Clapboard Legdrop. Winner: Charlie Moss, Simon Singleton and Shayne Brave, via pinfall

I'll write something if ya'll write something

Update on Moracca's condition The Love Doctors, and Mariachi Vs Logan Mann, Abdullah Abir Nerdly and Quiz!

If the count seems off in the Lethal Rumble its because I suck with numbers

ANGLEPALOOZA 2010 DIRECTED BY Patty O'Green WRITTEN BY Alfdogg Tony149 Patty O'Green King Cucaracha GRAPHICS King Cucaracha OAOAST CREATED BY cobainwasmurdered Tony149 Anglesault © 2010 OAOAST Entertainment All Rights Reserved.

TV 14 L, V PRESENTED IN HD We cold open to Michael Buffer standing in a purple spotlight in the center of the ring. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen please welcome to the OAOAST stage New York's own.....ALICIA KEYS! The sold out Madison Sqaure Garden audience explodes with cheers and applause for the platinum selling recording artist! As Alicia sings clips of famous landmarks and areas in New York are mixed in with footage of the OAOAST superstars at their heights of excellence....... (skip to 3:00) Man that saved me from writing an intro! *DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA * Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid shock and delight. THE OAOAST...WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~! TONIGHT! ~THE OAOAST LETHAL RUMBLE~ Bohemoth, Leon Rodez, Spencer Reiger, Mister Dick, Landon Maddix, Sandman, Baron Windells, CMJ, ThunderKid, Tim Cash, and more! ~THE OAOAST LETHAL RUMBLE~ BOOM BOOOM BOOOM BOOM The pyro explodes and the New York city audience is delirious with excitement for the 2010 Anglepalooza! Sitting at sofa central wearing their Anglemania baseball jerseys are the voices of the OAOAST Michael Cole and Johnathan Coachman. COLE Folks welcome to New York City, we are live from Madison Square Garden with OAOAST Anglepalooza! Our thanks to Jay-Z and Alicia Keys for their beautiful performance. And what a way to start of the road to Anglemania with a match that has serious Anglemania implications. I'm talking about the world championship match between Alfdogg and Reject. COACH We starting this show off right, Mikey, with a big victory for Reject and the Deadly Alliance. COLE I don't think Alfdogg is going to give up the belt without one heck of a fight, and I know these loyal Alfdogg supporters in New York feel the exact same way.

Live from Madison Square Garden beneath the bright lights of New York Theme song obviously is I'm writing the rumble this year, soooooo to make it easier on me tell me who you DON'T want in the match. And if you have any stories needing to be worked in to the match, tell me very, very, soon please!

Not a problem to me. Hope you feel better!

Mister Dick slowly staggers back towards the center of the ring. He’s the captured into a front facelock from Baron. But BW can’t execute his finisher as MD shoves him back into PRL. PRLbegins battering BW with chops that force him all the way across the ring. PRL then backs up and charges at BW. But The Gunslinger grabs onto the third ropes and duck down to cause PRL to tumble over. However, PRL lands on the apron and immediately runs to the top rope. He comes flying off the top rope and strikes his foe with an axe handle smash. COLE A nice move there! Mister Dick wearily slogs his bones to PRL, hoping to execute him with a lariat. But PRL stops him with a boot to the gut and attempts to dump him over the ropes. Using what little strength he has left in his body, MD begins to pull PRL along with him. COLE Both men could find their way out this match, Coach. COACH I think Mister Dick’s in trouble here, he can barely stand, much less eliminate a dude. Both men topple over the ropes and onto the ring apron. There they trade punches, with PRL gaining an easy upperhand. In danger of being knocked off the apron, Mister Dick resorts to cheap tactics to save him. He low blows PRL, crippling him and dropping him to his knees. At this point Leon Rodez sees the end for PRL, and rushes over to him to bring it upon him. He spins around and connects with the One Hit Kill to send PRL falling off the ring apron. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PRL Entered: 20th Left: 26th Time of participation: LEAVE ME ALONE Eliminated: Mad Cappa, Colombian Heat, Nate Black, Scottish Scott Eliminated by: Leon Rodez FINAL THREE: Mister Dick, Baron Windells, Leon Rodez ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE Here we are down to three men. One these three will be one half of your Anglemania mainevent! Mister Dick uses the ropes to bring himself upright. But as soon as he stands he’s thrown under attack by Leon Rodez. Unable to trade blows due to exhaustion Mister Dick clamps onto Rodez neck and brings him over the ropes. COLE What a show of strength by Mister Dick, lifting Leon Rodez by his neck and onto the apron. Not looking overly panicked, Leon Rodez merely kicks at Mister Dick and wins his freedom. He resumes pounding on Mister Dick, lowering The Human Hard On to the ground with his attacks. Leon backs up, readying himself for a One Hit Kill. But as he spins forward, Baron Windells intercepts him and turns him inside out with a lariat! Leon flips off the apron, and lands painfully on the ring mats! "YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Leon Rodez Entered: 22nd Left: 27th Time of participation: LEAVE ME ALONE Eliminated: PRL, Quentin Benjamin, Faqu, Tony Tourettes Eliminated by: Baron Windells FINAL TWO: Mister Dick, Baron Windells, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE Its looks like Leon Rodez quest to regain the world title have met another setback. COACH That’s a damn shame, Mikey, I thought Leon Rodez had this one Although Baron could easily eliminate Mister Dick, he decides to be a good sportsman and allows Mister Dick to reenter the ring. Strangley, MD is displeased with this and barks that he doesn’t want any charity. BW shrugs his shoulders, and mouths “I tried” before he starts unleashing furious punches upon Mister Dick. COLE The Lone Star Gunslingers are throwing down for a chance to go to Vegas and mainevent Anglemania! Mister Dick’s arm is caught and he’s whipped into a corner. Windells charges after him, and strikes him with body slash. He then works his way to the top rope as MD staggers away from the corner. “Its clobberin time!” he shouts to a roaring New York audience then flies off the top rope to take down Mister Dick with a lariat! COLE He caught him there! “Up!” BW shouts to his old partner. MD slowly rises off the canvas, and is met with powerful right hands from Windells. BW backs off MD and runs forward with a shoulder tackle. But MD counters with a dropkick! But he can move no further than that as exhaustion overwhelms him. COACH Both these two have been in the ring for a long time, but Mister Dick has been here right from the very start. Baron begins attempting to push MD over the ring ropes. He only gets half his body over the top, before MD uses a thumb to the eye to save himself. He works his way back into the ring, but is caught with overhand rights by BW. Windells then rips MD into the far ropes. When MD returns Baron captures him into his arms, and signals to the crowd that the Devil’s Addiction (fallaway slam) is coming. COLE Here it comes! BW throws MD backwards, launching him over the ropes and straight to the outside ring mats! COLE Mister Dick is gone! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans scream with overjoyed glee. Windells can hardly believe his great luck, and with teary eyes happily salutes the fans that are now on their feet. COLE Baron Windells did it! Baron Windells it! He’s living the dream! Incredible! Baron Windells will meet Reject at Anglemania! COACH I don't believe it! “BARON! BARON! BARON!” the audience sings, as the victorious gladiator raises his arms in triumph and smiles in absolute rapture. Suddenly, Mister Dick throws Baron over the ropes and onto the floor! DING DING DING! COLE What the? What’s going on? Bone weary and unable to stand, Mister Dick falls flat on his back and points to the videoscreen as validation for his actions. What it shows is Mister Dick using the bottom rope to pull himself away from the flooring and back into the ring before his feet could even scrape the ground. COLE I don’t believe it! Neither can Baron, who vehemently debates with the referees over his sudden and crushing loss. His argument is so intense and full of heat that his partner, Tim Cash, must come to ringside to calm him down. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Baron Windells Entered: 14th Left: 28th Time of participation: LEAVE ME ALONE Eliminated: CMJ, CPA, Bosley, Sandman, Faqu, Landon Maddix, Leon Rodez Eliminated by: Mister Dick Left in ring: Mister Dick ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The WINN0R! Mister Dick Entered: 1st Time of participation: LEAVE ME ALONE Eliminated: J-MAX, Vinny Valentine, Tyler Bryant, Spencer Reiger, Ned Blanchard, Faqu, Denzel Spencer, ThunderKid, Christian Wright ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the winner of the 2010 Lethal Rumble…..MISTER DICK! “BOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Folks, Mister Dick is going to Anglemania to face none other than Reject! He has survived the number one entry to do the impossible! COACH All is right in the world. God bless. A plentiful shower of red and gold confetti gently rains down on the ring. Mister Dick can hardly find it within himself to celebrate, so worn from his exploits of the evening. Instead he lies down on the mat, a warm smile and delighted chuckles forcing its way through his lips. FADE OUT

“BOOOOOOO!” the audience hisses as TK pops to his feet and looks for some congratulations. Not getting anything but venom from the fans, the former US champion brings BW to his feet and leads him to the ropes. With minimal effort, he’s able to toss BW over the cables. But The Gunslinger lands on his knees on the apron, drawing a frown from TK. Along with Sandman the two backing, battering BW with strikes. All BW can do is clutch onto the ropes and pray for a savior. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1!!!!! BZZZZZZZZZZZZT! Citizen soldiers holding the light for the ones that we guide from the dark of despair. Standing on guard for the ones that we sheltered, We'll always be ready because we will always be there. “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” Tim Cash rushes through the entrance doors, and makes a mad dash to the ring. COLE Here comes some support for Baron Windells at number seventeen! COACH Lamb running to the slaughter. Timmy Cash scurries to the top rope. The fans cheer wildly, as he dives forward and lacerates both TK and MD with a diving lariat! He then kips-up in order to meet Sandman with fast and furious chops. Sandman attempts to end the attacks with a rake of the eye. However, Cash blocks the attacks and chastises Sandman for his poor sportsmanship. Now wishing to be lectured, Sandman attempts to shut Cash up with a spinning back fist. But Cash ducks low and takes Sandman onto his shoulders in a standing fireman’s carry. Cash then flips Sandman sideways, launching him over the ropes and onto the ring apron. COLE The Deadly Alliance isn’t faring too well here, Coach! The situation goes from bad to worse for the DA, as BW dodges Mister Dick’s stiff kick and his errant foot collides with ThunderKid. TK stumbles backwards, groggy and confused. For those reasons he fails to defend himself, when Citizen Soliders spring forth and lariat him over the ropes! TK comes down on the ring apron, but lies prone and is stomped at by both good guys. But, Cash soon finds it’s a one man job as Mister Dick attacks BW. COLE Jock and Baron can’t stop going at it! An irish whip reversal sends MD into the corner. He hits with hard enough force, that he’s propelled forward and into BW’s arms. Windells grabs him in a front waistlock and throws him overhead with a belly to belly suplex! Unfortunatley for BW, celebration time is short thanks to elbows to the jaw from Sandman. The former Heartland champion, sinks a front facelock on BW and raises him high into the sky. He then falls backwards crushing Windells with a vertical suplex. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1!!! BZZZZZZZT ”I CAN FEEL IT COMING IN THE AIR TONIGHT” “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” the audience screams for their fellow New Yorker. The epic beat of In the Air tonight catches the attention of Tim Cash who watches his former best friend, Detective Bosley, march down the entrance ramp. COLE We saw CPA earlier tonight, will his partner in stopping crime have better luck? Will it be Bosley against Reject at Anglemania? Cash backs away from his fight to catch Bosley with punches as he attempts to climb into the ring. Bosley is able to shove Cash away for a moment, but once that moment is over, Cash underhooks his right arm and hip tosses his old partner into the ring. Always a gentlemen, Cash offers Bosley a hand up. The New Yorker accepts the friendly gesture…only to low blow Cash! Stunned and in serious pain, Cash easily falls victim to Bosley. The former NYPD officer lifts him over the ropes and dumps him onto the outside mats. COACH Awwww shit! That fool nigga was on some duchess of Queensbury rules and got his ass tossed out by a down ass nigga! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tim Cash Entered: 17th Left: 12th Time of participation: 909090909 hours Eliminated: None Eliminated by: Bosley Left in ring: Landon Maddix, Baron Windells, Mister Dick, Sandman, Bosley, ThunderKid ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE Unbelievable! Typical New Yorker! Give am an inch…and they kick you in the nads! BW is understandably upset with Bosley, and revenge settles itself in his mind. Seeing that he has an enraged Texan on the Warpath, Bosley doubles up with ThunderKid to stop him. Together they charge at Windells with lariats. But its BW that leaves them both laid out with a lariat of his own! “YEAAAAAA!” TK rolls to his feet before Bosley, and pays dearly for it in the form of a face battered by Windells. The Gunslinger latches onto TK’s arm and uses it to throw him into the ropes. Upon returning he leaps at BW with a cross body block. However, BW catches him within his muscular arms. The handsome Texan then swings around and attempts to dump TK over the ropes. Thankfully for the Green Bay native, he is saved by Mister Dick grabbing hold of BW’s waist and back suplexing him to the canvas. Safe for the time being, TK offers profuse “thank yous” to Mister Dick. But his gratitude is best spared, as Mister Dick casually shoves him off the apron! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ThunderKid Entered: 15th Left: 13th Time of participation: 909090909 hours Eliminated: None Eliminated by: Mister Dick Left in ring: Landon Maddix, Baron Windells, Mister Dick, Sandman, Bosley, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE Oh my! It won't be Reject against ThunderKid it looks like. COACH I....I....I.....Whaaaaaaaaat?! That reaction is shared by TK, who can’t quite believe the circumstances of his elimination. He whines to the referees, unable to come to terms with this disastrous occurrence. Sandman confronts Mister Dick with anger in his voice, but only gets a dismissive wave from The Cocky Prick. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1!!!! BZZZZZZZZZT! Yo these niggaz can't breathe when I come through, hum too Some shoes, gotta be 20 man It's not even funny they can't BREATHE The choke holds too tight The left looks too right You know what? You right These bitches can't BREATHE Mad Cappa makes a return to the OAOAST, running down the entrance ramp and sliding into the squared circle. COLE Mad Cappa making his return to an OAOAST ring at number 19! His welcome back to the OAOAST isn’t a warm one as MD and Sandman put differences aside to bury their boots into his back. Having wounded him with their attacks, they drag him upright and stuff him inside a front facelock. Within moments they flip him backwards drive him into the canvas with a double snap suplex. COLE Am I the only one who realizes that Landon Maddix is just sitting behind the timekeeper, eating a hot dog! He’s eating a hot dog in the middle of a rumble that he’s still technically in! COACH He’s the man with a plan. COLE His plan is to eat hot dogs and sit the entire match out? That’s his plan? To eat hot dogs! Meanwhile BW and Bosley battle it out in the corner. Bosley is able to get a hold of BW and he rams him back first into corner posts. Keeping BW locked against the posts, he begins pounding his ripped stomach with shoulder charges. BW grimaces against the pain that comes with rapid fire speed. Soon, Bosley cuts short the attacks and begins trying to dump Windells over the ropes. But BW holds firm, and within seconds the short tempered Bosley gives up on the efforts and retreats to the ropes. He rushes backwards expecting to be able to shove BW over the ropes, but The Gunslinger catches Bosley into his arms. In a quick second, BW falls backwards and throws Bosley over the ropes with a belly to belly suplex! Much to the audience’s dismay, their hometown boy is left laid out on the mats. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bosley Entered: 18th Left: 14th Time of participation: Forever Eliminated: Tim Cash Eliminated by: Baron Windells Left in ring: Landon Maddix, Baron Windells, Mister Dick, Sandman, Mad Cappa. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE A tough loss for Bosley, but I guess he isn’t the Alpha Male in this match. While Sandman and Baron exchange punches, Mister Dick and Mad Cappa slug it out near the edge of the ring. MD tries for his trademark discus punch. But as soon he unfurls his body, he’s kicked in the stomach by Mad Cappa. To the audience’s glee, Mister Dick is then struck by the Busta Cap (stunner)! Rather than topple to the canvas, Mister Dick falls against the ring ropes. Cappa sees his vulnerability and moves quickly to capitalize on it. He latches onto MD’s legs and begins lifting the Cocky Prick over the ropes. Desperate to avoid elimination, Mister Dick wraps his legs around the ropes and tries to balance himself on them. COLE I am very surprised that Mister Dick has lasted this long. He’s faced tough opponents all night long, and yet he’s staying alive. COACH Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1!!!!!!! BZZZZZZZZZZZZT! “THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP…” *DUN DUN* “…IS…” *DUN* “…HERE!” COLE Could it be? Could it be the living legend? A lightning bolt hits the stage, sending a plume of smoke up into the air as "Know Your Role 2000" begins to play through the arena. The crowd rise to their feet and cheer with raucous excitement as Tha Puerto Rican once again steps on an OAOAST stage. COACH I don’t believe this crap! This idiot, this cheap knockoff, this imitation Rock, this midget fourteen year old looking fool, is crashing our Rumble. COLE And I for one, am thrilled! And so are our great fans! PRL takes in a moment to savoir the appreciative reaction of the Madison Square Garden crowd. As they chant his name he walks down the entrance ramp, face gritted in hard determination. COLE What a great feeling it is to have the People’s Champion back inside an OAOAST ring! COACH If you want to see the People’s Champion, you’ll go see Tooth Fairy, if you want to se a 25 cent knockoff you’ll stay right here. PRL accidentally saves his old rival Mister Dick, by taking on another old rival in Mad Cappa. The two immediately begin trading wild punches. COLE Rivalry renewed! Mad Cappa is put on the back track by the speedy jabs of PRL. Backed to the edge of the ring, Cappa is forced to stand toe to toe in a brawling match with the former world champion. Cappa fares rather poorly as PRL scrapes his fist across Cappa’s face. PRL holds one hand up looks to it, and then uses it to uppercut Cappa! The DC native is flung over the ropes and takes a violent spill to the outside! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Mad Cappa Entered: 19th Left: 15th Time of participation: Forever Eliminated: none Eliminated by: PRL Left in ring: Landon Maddix, Baron Windells, Mister Dick, Sandman, PRL. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PRL doesn’t have much time bid farewell to old adversary due to being pounded on by the Sandman. Sandman spins PRL around, and attempts to irish whip him. But the Latin Lion reverses the hold and sends Sandman crashing into Mister Dick. Deeply aggravated by the miscue, Mister Dick has words with Sandman as they both head to their feet. Their argument is cut short, though, as PRL spring forth and puts them both down with leaping elbows. “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” Sandman wisely rolls away from danger, leaving Mister Dick to feel the brunt of PRL’s aggression. The Latin Lion scrapes MD off the canvas, and pushes him towards the ropes. Summoning all his strength, PRL hurls the Texas A&M alum over the ropes and onto the apron. He sticks his foot through the ropes and begins stomping at Mister Dick. In danger of being eliminated, all MD can do is hold onto the bottom rope and pray that help is coming. “P-R-L! P-R-L! P-R-L!” COLE Mister Dick finds himself in another sticky situation, as he grows more tired with each passing minute. Sandman and Baron Windells go at each other, with Landon Maddix eating cotton candy and watching the brawl with a rooting interest in Sandman. Thusly its to his disgust that BW gets the upperhand on the former Heartland champion. BW begins landing all the punches as Sandy can hardly get his arms up in defense. After a barrage of right hands, Sandman grows incredibly desperate. As such, he grabs onto the waistband of BW’s tights and launches him downwards into the corner posts. BW’s shoulder smashes against the hard metal, causing him immense pain. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1!!! BZZZZZZZZZZZT! Mother Tell your children not to walk my way Tell your children not to hear my words What they mean What they say Mother Mother Can you keep them in the dark for life Can you hide them from the waiting world Oh mother Danzig’s Mother rocks the arena, as the mohawked 21st entrant, Scottish Scott sprints at top speeds down the entry ramp. Sliding into the ring, Scott avoids a punch from Sandman and takes PRL off his feet with a headbutt! Scott then leaps onto Mister Dick and blitzes him with a barrage of strikes. But MD needn’t suffer for too long, as Sandman sneaks behind Scott and pins his arms behind his back. MD takes a moment grab his crotch and spit at Scott, which causes Sandman to urge MD to hurry up. Its advice MD would’ve been wise to follow as Scott drives his head into Sandy’s nose. This forces Sandman to break his hold, and attend to his now bleeding nose. MD is left to defend against the blitzkrieg of punches Scottish Scott unloads on him. COACH I think you’re right, Mikey, Mister Dick is starting to lose a step as this thing goes around. He’s been there the whole match, and we’ve still got nine more people to come plus all the cats that haven’t been eliminated. Letting bygones be bygones, PRL aids Scottish Scott in depositing the Human Hard On over the top rope. The two exert their energy to the task of finally forcing Mister Dick out the ring. COLE This could be it for the number one entrant in the rumble. Mister Dick falls onto the apron, and wraps his ankles around the second rope to maintain leverage. Scott quickly goes angry with his and PRL’s ineffectiveness. As such he dissolves their partnership and begins hammering at PRL. Backed into the by the strikes corner PRL is left defenseless against the boot Scott chokes him with. Fortunately the referees on the outside issue a warning to Scott that forces him to let PRL breathe. However, this does not stop Scottish Scott from attempting to lift PRL out the ring. But The Latin Lion fights back, kicking at Scottish Scott and forcing him further to the center of the ring. Outraged by PRL’s resiliency Scottish Scott blindly charges him, only to carry himself into a Samoan drop! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1!!!! BZZZZZZZZZZZZT "Oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone And oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone, dead and gone..." The wrath of New York City greets the 2009 Heel of the year, Leon Rodez, as he makes his way through the entrance doors. In no hurry to reach the ring, he slowly saunters down the ramp, fixing an evil eye on numerous audience members. COLE Ever since Krista took the world title from Leon Rodez he has been hungering to get it back, and this may be his greatest opportunity yet. COACH It’s a damn decent draw he’s got. Half the field is gone, and the guys in the ring are already worn out. COLE And he might get some revenge against Reject for cashing in his money in the bank match on his time. The moment Rodez enters the ring, he’s sprung upon by PRL. The Latin Lion throws a cavalry of right hands that take Leon off his feet. Fortunately for Leon, Scottish Scott still holds hatred for PRL and smashes his forearms into his back. This allows Rodez to leap to his feet and take aim at PRL. Together with Scottish Scott he bundles up PRL and begins tipping him over the ring ropes. But PRL fights back and eventually worms his way back into the squared circle. COLE A very close call for PRL. COACH Not close enough! Someone hurry up and get this geek outta this match! Elsewhere Baron Windells is forced to do battle with the Deadly Alliance representatives. The Gunslinger holds his own with them both, until Sandman hits a basement dropkick onto his knees. This weakens Windells, and permits MD and Sandman to begin forcing him over the ropes. But Windells is saved somewhat when PRL inadvertently bumps into Mister Dick. Upset about the interruption, MD promptly turns his focus on PR and the two go back to pummeling each other. “P-R-L! P-R-L! P-R-L!” Meanwhile, Leon Rodez and Scottish Scott have ended their working arrangement and are fighting as full-fledged enemies. Scott ducks a swinging right hand, and slides behind Leon to capture his waist. He then lifts Rodez upright, hoping to drop him over the ropes with a back suplex. But Rodez effortlessly counters the attack, by shooting forward and striking down Scott with a bulldog. Grumbling to himself, Leon then picks Scott up and batters the mohawked performer with knife edge chops. 10 9 8 7 COLE Who could be next? 6 5 4 3 2 1!!!! BZZZZZZZZZT! "Chelsea Dagger" by The Fratellis plays, bringing out Nathaniel Black. The surly superstar hops back and forth on both feet before darting into the ring. Picking himself up off the canvas, Black hits at PRL. Not expecting the attack, PRL is knocked off balance. Seeking to blast him out the ring, Black builds up speed on the ropes. But as he approaches The Latin Lion, PRL bends down and back drops him over the ropes! The fans watch in annoyance, as Black easily comes down on his boots. PRL charges him but eats a knee to the face for his troubles. COACH Now that’s what I like to see. PRL getting his nose knocked clear off his face. COLE Black does pose a huge threat at number twenty-three in the rumble. Leon and Mister Dick make a joint effort to get BW out of this contest. But their efforts are for naught as BW fends them both off with powerful kicks. MD staggers away, but Leon keeps up the battle with Baron. He whips the Gunslinger into a corner, and quickly follows that up with the Superman Spear! Windells staggers out the corner, giving Leon the chance he needs to run the ropes. He nears Baron, but is immediately intercepted by a spear from Scottish Scott. COLE Leon couldn’t have been expecting that. COACH Mikey, you’re never safe in a Lethal Rumble. COLE Unless, you’re Landon Maddix who’s flipping through an Entertainment Weekly. Maddix’s scheme catches the attention of Baron Windells, who’s locked into a fight with Nate Black. “Pardon me one second, friend.” Baron asks, then ducks through the ropes before Nate Black can catch him. COACH What’s Baron doing out of the ring? COLE What’s Landon doing outside of the ring? COACH Enjoying fine literature. Maddix looks up from his magazine, and sees the troubling sight of angry Texan hovering above him. Needing no further prompting, Maddix immediately tries to scurry away. But there’s no escaping the long arm of Baron as he clamps down on Maddix’s neck. The audience roars their approval as The Gunslinger drags Maddix back to the ring. “Unhand me! Unhand me!” Maddix whines, as he’s humiliatingly dragged across the outside mats. Finally Landon is slung back into the ring, to cheers of the thousands in attendance. But Baron hasn’t a moment to enjoy the fruits of his labor as he’s attacked by Sandman. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1!!!! BZZZZZZZZZT! Colombian Heat roars out the entrance doors, and runs at top speeds to the ring. Upon entering the ring he goes to work in battling back Mister Dick. He needn’t work alone, though; his partner, PRL, comes to his aid. Together they take turns in delighting the crowd, by beating on Black. The two step backwards, nod to each other, and then throw themselves forward to double lariat MD over the ropes! But once again, Black proves hard to kill; he’s grabbed onto the bottom rope and uses that to save himself from a close elimination. COACH I thought that was it for Nate Black! PRL backs away, letting Heat affix himself to the task of stomping at Mister Dick. The South American superstar doesn’t have much luck as MD simply refuses to be brushed out the ring. Dejected, Heat turns to his partner for help. But all he gets is a dropkick to the face! As the fans react in shock, Heat tumbles over the top rope and falls past Mister Dick and onto the outside mats. COLE I don’t believe it! COACH Finally Tha Puerto Rican has done something right in his life. Barely able to believe what’s just occurred, Heat lowers his head and walks off. Even the encouraging pats on the back from the audience fail to bring him some consolation. COACH That cornball lowered the coolness of this rumble by ten thousand points; thank the god lord he’s gone. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Colombian Heat Entered: 24th Left: 16th Time of participation: Forever Eliminated: none Eliminated by: PRL Left in ring: Landon Maddix, Baron Windells, Mister Dick, Sandman, PRL, Leon Rodez, Scottish Scott, Nate Black ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Scottish Scott and Leon Rodez renew their battle near the edge of the ring. Scott takes control of the bout by snatching Leon into a front facelock. He attempts to lift Leon up for a vertical suplex. But the attempt meets in failure as Leon is the one who lifts him into the air. He drapes Scott’s body across the ring ropes, and lets it hang suspended on the cables. Rodez then twirls around and strikes Scott in the face with the One Hit Kill! Scott’s body rockets upwards, allowing PRL to come in and aid Leon in pushing him off the apron and onto the floor! COLE Scottish Scott is done! COACH Poor Queen Esther! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Scottish Scott Entered: 21st Left: 17th Time of participation: Forever Eliminated: none Eliminated by: Leon Rodez, PRL Left in ring: Landon Maddix, Baron Windells, Mister Dick, Sandman, PRL, Leon Rodez,, Nate Black ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 10! 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1! BZZZZZZZZZZZT! Accompanied by no entrance music but solid fanfare is Biff Atlas. The would be superhero waves with a smile to the innocent citizens of New York. But that smile quickly vaporizes when Vinny Valentine attacks him from behind! COLE Now what is this? Giving Biff no moment to protect himself, Valentine throws him into the guardrail. As referees rush to Biff’s aid, Vinny stands over him performing a celebratory disco dance. COLE Just a deplorable action! COACH I agree Biff had no right coming out to this rumble. COLE That’s not what I’m talking about. Biff’s plight doesn’t quite register on the participants mind, as they continue their quest for an Anglemania title shot. In the center of the ring, Leon Rodez and Landon Maddix do battle. Rodez unleashes a an army of left jabs that stumbles Maddix and pushes him dangerously close to the ropes. Rodez then launches his boy forward and it’s a modified superman spear to Landon’s chest that flings the both of them over the top rope. They quickly regain their footing and composure and resume their war. COLE Landon Maddix and Leon Rodez are both in a very dangerous position. PRL seems to realize that, but can’t take advantage of it due to Mister Dick striking him from behind. The Human Hard On grabs him into a full nelson, the setup for the Pure Penentration. But MD’s efforts are blocked by PRL, who muscles his way out the hold. This takes MD by surprise and he’s defenseless against the boot to the gut PRL strikes him with. The Latin Lion swings around and catches MD with The Cappa Killer (stunner) “IN YOUR FACE, BITCH BOY!” PRL screams at his defeated foe. “YEAAAAAAAA!” Elsewhere, BW, Sandman, Black continue to battle it out. BW has Sandman halfway over the ropes, but Sandman fights back with a series of elbow strikes. Weakening BW with those attacks, Sandy works his way back into the ring. He catches BW by surprise by lifting him with a front facelock and situating him on the top rope. COLE What does Sandman have in mind, he’s entering dangerous territory, The crowd’s attention is caught by countdown clock, as Black backs away from Sandy and BW 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1!!!! BZZZZZZZZT! Cue: Collective Soul-Shine “Give me a word Give me a sign Show me where to look Tell me what will I find (What will I find?)~ Lay me on the ground Fly me in the sky Show me where to look Tell me what will I find (What will I find?)” “YEAAAAAAAAA!” The fans wonderful delight is aimed directly at Quentin Benjamin, who appears on the entrance stage. He nods to himself and then darts down the ramp. COLE The best pure athlete in the OAOAST today, Quentin Benjamin making his arrival into the contest. Benjamin immediately lets his presence be felt with a springboard lariat takes out both MD and PRL! The crowd applauds his athletic showing, whereas Mister Dick curses him and promises revenge. However, MD is all talk as he allows PRL to confront Benjamin. The two pound on each other with closed fists, until MD decides to participate and throws them both over the ropes! MD then grabs his crotch and spits at the audience. But it’s a premature celebration, as PRL and Benjamin both skinned the cat to get back into the ring. MD becomes horrified as they grab onto his slick backed hair and chuck him over the ropes. Thankfully for The Human Hard On, he manages to save himself by again taking hold of the ropes. COLE Mister Dick has been on the verge of elimination all the way through this match, and yet somehow he finds away to keep his Anglemania mainevent drive alive. COACH I feel bad about saying this about duke, but its only a matter of time before he goes out. While Benjamin and PRL work over an exhausted MD, Sandman has scaled to the top rope to join Baron Windells. He attempts to hook him inside a front facelock, but meets with rebellion as Windells begins punching him in his stomach. Sandman attempts to fight back with a headbutt, but BW will not be stopped and over powers Sandman with punches. Now firmly in control of the exchange, BW lifts Sandman onto his shoulders, and rises to his feet. An amazed gasp fill the stands, as the fans wonder what might they’re about to witness COLE Good god, what could Baron be doing? Baron wows the sold out Madison Sqaure Garden crowd by throwing Sandman off his shoulders and to the floor bellow! The moment Sandman hits the mat, he erupts with violent screams, while the audience erupts with overjoyed shouts. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sandman Entered: 16th Left: 18th Time of participation: Forever Eliminated: none Eliminated by: Baron Windells Left in ring: Landon Maddix, Baron Windells, Mister Dick, Quentin Benjmain, PRL, Leon Rodez, Nate Black ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Maddix gets back into things by clubbing Windells as he tries to get down from the turnbuckles. But Windells quickly recovers, and Maddix is filled with fear as the Cowboy begins stalking his retreat. Fortunately for Maddix, Black comes to his rescue by smashing his fists into the back of BW’s head. Now Landon feels his oats, and decides to punish BW for earlier transgressions. Together with Black they hook onto BW’s head, lift him into the air and drop him across the top rope. They then leap into the air and strike his back with dropkicks! To their dismay, BW falls forward into the ring, instead of backwards out of it. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1!!!!! BZZZZZZZZZZZT HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT No one is quite happy to see Logan Mann make his arrival into the 2010 Lethal Rumble. Least of all is QB, who regards the MACHO Macho Mann with open disgust. As Logan enters the ring, QB’s day is made as he strikes Mann down with a diving shoulder tackle. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Benjamin kips up and brings Mann to his feet, where he goes across his face with right hands. But Mann himself is no stranger to a brawl, and begins unleashing his WICKED left hands. Having stunned QB, Mann takes off to the ropes, when he returns he flattens QB with a polish hammer. COLE Lots of history between The Heavenly Rockers and Team Heyross. Lots of history and a lot of bad blood. Elsewhere Maddix and PRL are engaged in a war of attrition. Both men are tangled up in the ropes, trying to eliminate the other. COACH Two former world champs going right at it, Mikey, they know all about the prize at the end of this race. PRL and Maddix’s stalemate comes to an end when Leon Rodez attempts to eliminate them both. But the two men land on the ring apron, and quickly roll back into the ring. Frustrated, Leon greets them both with stomps to the back of the head. Unfortunately, karma catches up to him and he’s struck in the back of the head with a Stiff Kick! The shot propels him into the ropes, leaving him a sitting duck for Mister Dick. The Human Hard On runs forward and kicks Leon in the back, flipping him over. But like Maddix and PRL, Leon lands harmlessly on the apron. “Ah crap!” Mister Dick bemoans. Elsewhere, Logan has hold of both of QB’s legs. He bridges backwards and throws the 3 time tag champion into towards the ropes. QB tumbles over the cables, and his harsh crash into the ring apron. Mann smiles widely at his enemy’s predicament, and rushes forward to eliminate him from the contest. But Benjamin catches hold of Logan’s arm, and arm drags him over the ropes and to the outside floor! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Logan Mann Entered: 27th Left: 19th Time of participation: Forever Eliminated: none Eliminated by: Quentin Benjamin Left in ring: Landon Maddix, Baron Windells, Mister Dick, Quentin Benjmain, PRL, Leon Rodez, Nate Black ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Logan leaps to his feet and throws a tantrum in a style only he can capture. Referees are threatened, audience members are cursed, and cameramen are shoved. COLE Oh my, Logan has completely blown his stack! But suddenly Logan’s face forms a satisfied smile. The reason for his delight is seen clear as day by everyone except Quentin Benjamin. That’s because he has his back turned to Synth Abdul-Jabbar! COLE Oh no! COACH Oh yes! Synth spins QB around, and without hesitation or delay drives him into the canvas with Percussion DDT. More damage looks to befall QB, but there’s a sudden pop as Charlie Moss races out to save his partner from further pain. Synth dives out the ring, and he and Logan make a hasty retreat trailed by Charlie Moss. COLE Those damn Rockers, Synth had no business doing what he did. Their day will come. For now its QB’s day that’s comes as the amateur star is easily chucked over the ropes by Leon Rodez. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Quentin Benjamin Entered: 26th Left: 20th Time of participation: LEAVE ME ALONE Eliminated: none Eliminated by: Leon Rodez Left in ring: Landon Maddix, Baron Windells, Mister Dick, PRL, Leon Rodez, Nate Black ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1!!! BZZZZZZZZT! To almost everyone’s surprise, Tony Tourettes rushes out from the backstage area. “EAT A ZEBRA’S MOLDY SKUNK PISS!” he shouts into the nearby camera. COACH The hell is this moron doing out here? COLE He’s just having a little fun at number 28 in the rumble! Cursing like a drunken sailor, Tony hits the ring and immediately goes to town on Leon Rodez. “PUT YOUR HANDS ON MY NUTS, DICK WEASEL, AND SEE IF I SCREAM!” His odd insults and piddling blows do little to damage the Grand Rapids native, but they do succeed in angering him deeply. Thus it’s with little remorse, that Rodez pie faces him over the ropes and out this contest. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tony Tourettes Entered: 28th Left: 21st Time of participation: LEAVE ME ALONE Eliminated: none Eliminated by: Leon Rodez Left in ring: Landon Maddix, Baron Windells, Mister Dick, PRL, Leon Rodez, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE That just crossed the line! COACH Crossed the line? Was he just supposed to let Vinny’s retarded cousin stand in the middle of the ring and invite him to touch his penis? Is that the point of the Lethal Rumble? Hardly able to stand after performing in this marathon, Mister Dick tries to attack Leon Rodez. But The Fallen Idol makes him pay dearly with a pair of flesh searing chops to his buff chest. Mister Dick takes another swing at Leon, but Rodez ducks down and takes MD’s legs out from under him. In one swift motion he turns over MD into the Liontamer. COLE You can’t win by submission here, but you can certainly wear down an opponent. Hanging on with all his might, poor PRL finds himself faced with elimination by Baron Windells. But PRL is spared for the time being by Landon Maddix who smashes his archrival in the back with a forearm. PRL can only breathe easier for a moment before Maddix goes after him and attempts to push him over the turnbuckles. “MADDIX SUCKS! MADDIX SUCKS! MADDIX SUCKS!” While a worn down MD tries to fight out the Liontamer, Baron grabs onto Maddix and pulls him away from PRL. He lifts the Spanish superstar onto his shoulders and prepares to launch him over the ropes. But Maddix scrambles for safety and finds grabbing on the ring ropes to provide him some security. But that lasts for only a fleeting second before PRL cracks him with a superkick to the face! Maddix falls over, onto the apron but not out the ring. PRL and Baron try to stomp him off the squared circle, but have little luck as Black comes to the rescue of his leader. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1!!!! BZZZZZZZZZZZT! Out comes Faqu, drawing wowed and concerned gasps from the audience. COLE We’ve seen Cuban Wall, Tommy G, and Bohemoth meet with quick ends, can Faqu break the “big man curse”? Maddix smiles, now blessed with having two of his cronies, to aid him. But that smile quickly is replaced by a worried frown, as PRL surprises Black with a dropkick to the back. Black tumbles over the ropes, falling past Maddix and landing onto the ring canvas. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nate Black Entered: 23rd Left: 22nd Time of participation: LEAVE ME ALONE Eliminated: none Eliminated by: PRL Left in ring: Landon Maddix, Baron Windells, Mister Dick, PRL, Leon Rodez, Faqu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Faqu is a Samoan on fire as he takes out PRL with a Samoan spike! PRL falls to the canvas, and rolls out to the apron to avoid further beating from Faqu. The savage monster then turns on BW beating his face with open hand slaps. But Baron doesn’t have to fight alone as Mister Dick comes to attack Faqu. Soon Leon Rodez joins in and together they all muscle Faqu towards the ropes. COLE It might take all their might to rid the ring of Faqu! PRL decides to stop catching a breather and aid the three in getting rid of Faqu. But he’s cut off by Landon Maddix, who tackles him to the ground. Maddix then tries to come to Faqu’s rescue, but his leg is grabbed by PRL. He can only watch in agony as the threesome dumps Faqu over the ropes. COLE And they did it! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Faqu Entered: 29th Left: 23rd Time of participation: LEAVE ME ALONE Eliminated: none Eliminated by: Mister Dick, Leon Rodez, Baron Windells Left in ring: Landon Maddix, Baron Windells, Mister Dick, PRL, Leon Rodez, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The group of three then turn on each other all battering the others with sharp punches. Elsewhere, PRL and Landon Maddix continue to trade shots. But, Maddix ends the slugfest to snatch PRL onto his shoulders. PRL struggles to be free, but there’s little he can do before he’s nailed with the Go2Sleep by Maddix! “OOOOHHHHHHHH!” PRL topples sideways leaving him easy pickings for Maddix. But Maddix is caught by surprise by BW who grabs onto his tights and then throws him over the top rope to the floor! “YEAAAAAAAA!” the fans scream, as Windells pumps his fist in triumph. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Landon Maddix Entered: 4th Left: 24th Time of participation: LEAVE ME ALONE Eliminated: none Eliminated by: Baron Windells Left in ring: Leon Rodez, Baron Windells, Mister Dick, PRL ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE That had to feel good for Baron! It had to! 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1!!!! BZZZZZZZZZZZZZT COLE And we know who this is, the number 30 entrant in the Rumble! Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum (Jesus Walks) God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down (Jesus Walks with me) The only thing that that I pray is that my feet don't fail me now (Jesus Walks) And I don't think there is nothing I can do now to right my wrongs (Jesus Walks with me) I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long Kanye West’s hit song sings The God Child Christian Wright into Madison Sqaure Garden. The boos are numerous and harsh as the undefeated superstar makes his way down the entrance ramp. COLE Could Christian Wright carry his undefeated streak into Anglemania and become the world champion? In the ring PRL and Leon Rodez set up Mister Dick double team. An inverted atomic drop hobbles The Human Hard On, and the two come off the ropes to mow down MD with double knee strikes! They then turn their attention onto Christian Wright who’s surging towards them with lariats. The fast thinking former world champions duck the strikes and pop up to dropkick CW in the back. PRL then plays to the crowd, “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” But meets with a horrific end as Leon Rodez low blows him and tosses him over the ropes! But lo and behold PRL is able to save himself from sure doom. This does little to please Leon Rodez, who stomps away at his old rival. He quickly grows tired of mere stomping and begins to choke PRL with his black boots. The referees on the outside try to pry him off The Latin Lion, but Rodez refuses to relent. “LEON SUCKS! LEON SUCKS! LEON SUCKS! LEON SUCKS!” PRL is finally given a moment to breathe as Baron Windells pounces upon Leon. The two men battle back towards the center of the ring. The stronger of the two, BW, gains the upperhand and whips Rodez to the far corner. He charges in after him and makes the Fallen Idol bite his Shiny Metal Dick! “YEAAAAAAA!” Rodez stumbles out the corner, but has enough sense about him to duck BW’s spinning lariat. He then dropkicks The Gunslinger in the knees, bringing the big stallion down to the canvas. Rodez then once again skirts the rules of the match and begins choking BW into the ropes. The fans are appalled, and the referees are at a loss as to how to stop Rodez from his shady tactics. Thankfully help arrives in the form of PRL who begins hammering Leon with crazed fists. COLE Give it to him, Puerto Rican, give it to him! COACH This idiot is making things a lot more difficult for himself. If he was smart he would’ve let Leon choke out Baron and then toss the cowboy over the ring. Instead he wants to play captain save a ho and waste energy. COLE PRL is a man of honor and integrity. He plays the game the right way. Elsewhere Christian Wright is in the process of battering Mister Dick in the corner. The Human Hard On tries to get his arms up to block the attack, but that effort only finds failure as CW begins striking him with lightening fast body blows. Having weakened Mister Dick with his attacks, CW begins forcing him over the ropes. COLE Could this spell the end of Mister Dick? The Cocky Prick manages to save himself, by pulling out his steel cup and banging it off the side of CW’s head. The tables are now turned as Mister Dick is able to drag himself back into the ring. Immediately upon his entry he grabs CW’s gelled hair and begins chucking him over the ropes! But CW fights back and remains inside the squared circle. COACH I thought Wright was done for! Wright drives a series of European uppercuts into Mister Dick’s chest. With MD weakened, Wright takes a run of the ropes. He darts back towards MD, ready to mow through him with a lariat! But Mister Dick dips low and upends Wright with a back body drop! The Natural sails over the ring ropes, and is carried to the outside with a plummet that drops him onto the mats. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Christian Wright Entered: 30th Left: 25th Time of participation: LEAVE ME ALONE Eliminated: None Eliminated by: Mister Dick FINAL FOUR: Mister Dick, Baron Windells, PRL, Leon Rodez ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE Poetic justice for Mister Dick, eliminating the person who caused him to have the number one entry in the 2010 Lethal Rumble!

We return to Sofa Central where Double C is ready to commentate on the 2010 Lethal Rumble. COLE Folks, we are at that time. COACH You have your period? COLE Not that time! Its time for the 2010 Lethal Rumble! The field is set, and all thirty men believe they have what it takes to mainevent Anglemania. Let’s take it to Michael Buffer. The view switches to Michael Buffer who stands in a darkened ring, illuminated by a soft blue spotlight. BUFFER Earlier today, those participating in the Lethal Rumble match drew numbers from 1-30 at random. In just a few moments, those men who drew numbers 1 and 2 will enter the ring, and the match will begin. Every two minutes thereafter, another participant enters the match, according to the number he drew. Elimination occurs when a participant is thrown out over the top rope, and BOTH FEET must touch the floor. The one man remaining in the ring after all 30 participants have entered, will be declared the winner, and will receive an OAOAST Championship match at ANGLEMANIA IX! Womaizer, womanizer, womanizer To the tune of Britney Spears “Womanizer”, Mister Dick walks through the golden pyro shower and into Madison Square Garden. The assholish Texan saunters down the stage with little flair. His mouth is turned into a scowl and its clear he’s in an awful mood due to his poor draw. COLE Mister Dick got stuck with this number one entry by losing a match to Christian Wright. Wright, however, gained the number thirty entry by defeating Mister Dick. BUFFER Introducing entry number one! From San Antonio, Texas, he weighes in at a solid two hundred thirty eight pounds. He represents the Deadly Alliance….The Human Hard On….MISTER DIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCKKKKKKKKKKK! The boos are plentiful for The Human Hard On as he dives into the ring. Of sour spirt, he grabs his crotch and spits in the direction of time keeper as if he had anything to do with Mister Dick’s awful number of entry. BUFFER And entry number two….. Witness by Roots Manuva pumps its way into arena, bringing with it the masked superstar known as J-MAX! The high flying Birit, shakes hands with the approving crowd as he makes his way towards the Lethal Rumble ring. BUFFER From Birmingham, England... J - MMMMMAAAAAAAAAXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!! DING DING DING! The moment J-MAX enters the ring, Mister Dick pounces upon him with boots to his back. After leveling several strikes against him, Mister Dicks picks him up and chucks him through the second and third ropes. J-MAX crashes to the canvas bellow, and MD is quick to follow him outside. COLE Now this isn’t going to do Mister Dick any good! Despite the apparent lack of logic in his attack, Mister Dick continues to stomp away at J-MAX. The referees urge MD to get the Brit back into the ring. However, all Mister Dick does is throw him against the steel steps. MD seethes with anger as he rushes forward and kicks J-MAX in the ribs. COACH Jock might as well have fun while you can, because there’s no way to last until the end at this number. MD slams J-MAX’s face against the ring steps, causing him to scream out in agony. This is bliss to MD, and he smiles broadly as he rolls J-MAX back into the ring. The Human Hard On then mounts the top rope and grabs his crotch to the booing audience. This proves problematic though as J-MAX suddenly runs up the rope and nails MD with an enziguri! To the fans’ glee, The Human Hard On topples over onto the ring apron! COLE Mister Dick could have a very early exit! J-MAX rushes to the ropes, and returns with a baseball slide aimed his prone foe. But MD recovers and pulls his lanky frame out the way just before J-MAX’s arrival. The Brit slides himself out the ring, just as MD is entering. He quickly rolls back into the squared circle, where he’s met with stomps and punches from The Cocky Prick. The countdown timer appears! 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1!!!!! BZZZZZZZZZZZZT! Woman, take me in your arms. Rock your baby. Woman, take me in your arms, Rock your baby. “YEAAAAAAAAA!” Vinny Valentine bursts through the entrance doors with a funky dance for his fellow New Yorkers. COACH Vinny Valentine back home in the Big Apple! Mister Dick leaves J-MAX to deal with his pain, as he leans into the ropes and cockily invites V-Squared into the ring. The Disco Duck is in no hurry to enter the rumble and continues dancing down the aisle. This is highly annoying to Mister Dick, and he slides out ring. He catches up to Vinny and promptly grabs onto his slick hair and chucks him inside the squared circle. COLE Mister Dick is wasting a lot of energy here. COACH He’s fired up and pissed off, but he’s gotta calm down and pace himself. Vinny fights back to his feet and he and MD exchange blows. Beyond their vision J-MAX is climbing to the top rope. He then catches their attention by flinging himself forward with a cross body block! However, both Vinny and MD catch him within their arms. Smiling to each other they prepare to dump J-MAX over the ropes. But the speedy Brit counters by swinging out and nailing them both with DDTs! “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” MD rolls onto the ring apron, while an enraged and aching Vinny jumps to his feet. He can get no further than there before J-MAX slams a dropkick into his chest! Vinny stumbles backwards and falls over the top rope! Fortunatley he lands on the ring apron, and he taps his skull as if that was all part of his plan. But this “plan” goes awry when J-MAX leaps off the top rope and hooks onto him for a DDT! But Vinny holds onto the ropes, and refuses to be brought down by the aerial attack. The two do battle with punches and kicks, until V-Squared notices MD rumbling towards them with a Stiff Kick! Thusly, the Disco Duck pulls J-MAX in front of him and lets the Texan strike him down with the signature attack. J-MAX flies backwards, crashing into the guardrail and eliminating himself from the contest. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ J-MAX Entered: 2nd Left: 1st Time of participation: How the fuck would I know? Eliminated: None Eliminated by: Mister Dick Left in ring: Mister Dick, Vinny Valentine ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As soon as one man leaves another enters as the clock ticks down…. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1!!!! BZZZZZZZZZZZT! "We're running with the Shadows Of The Night So baby take my hand, you'll be alright Surrender all your dreams to me tonight They'll come true in the end" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Landon Maddix doesn’t let the jeers affect him as he steps through the entrance doors. Instead he waves happily to the audience, and takes off towards the ring. COLE Landon Maddix is a two time winner of the now defunct SWF’s Clusterfuck, but he has a less than advantageous draw in the Lethal Rumble. Maddix doesn’t let his poor lot bring him down, and enters the ring with right hands for Mister Dick. The Spanish superstar then irish whips his foe into the ropes. Mister Dick rushes back to encounter a lariat from Maddix. However, he ducks the strike and continues running. This does him little good as Vinny leaps forward and takes him off his feet with a leaping back elbow. V-Squared celebrates with a disco dance for his hometown crowd. Unforunatley Landon cuts short the celebration by shoving Vinny into the ropes. V-Squared becomes trapped in the cables, allowing Landon to begin attempting to shove him to the floor. But Vinny grabs onto Maddix’s head, and uses it to support himself against the dangerous fall. “LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS!” COLE Landon Maddix one of the few superstars able to say he’s hated across every continent on earth. COACH Even Antarctica? COLE I’m sure there are polar bears who curse his existence. As the though continue their struggle, MD rises to his feet. Looking quite annoyed with the situation, he sprints forward and seperates them both by lowering his body through the ropes and connecting with a spear! The two men crash apart, Landon falling to the canvas, and Vinny falling onto the ring apron. MD stands above both fallen adversaries and offers them a less than pleasant crotch chop. COLE Not the most sportsman like of gestures. MD brings Landon to his feet, and captures him inside a front facelock. He then lifts him into the air by the bands of his tights. He walks towards the ropes, and as soon as Vinny is upright, MD begins swinging Maddix at the Disco Duck! Vinny can hardly duck in time as MD cuts Maddix through the air like a saw blade. Finally Vinny is able to catch onto Maddix’s legs. From there he throws them upward, sending Maddix and MD toppling to the canvas! COLE A very smart move by Mister Dick countered by a very smart move from Vinny Valentine. The count comes back on 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1!!!! BZZZZZZZZZZT! Hey Hey Hey When you look you see right through me Cut the rope, fell to my knees Fallen, broken every single time Always keep me under finger That's the spot where you would (sue) me Might see some type of pleasure in my mind Yeah, here comes the water It comes to wash away the sins of you and I This time you see Hey hey hey Slither blasts across the arena, as Ned Blanchard comes from behind the entrance doors accompanied by a large ovation. He throws off his silver sparkling vest and charges to the ring. COLE Ned Blanchard out here representing all of Orange County! COACH A dismal county with an inferiority complex towards the superior LA county. Or so says Krista. Immediately upon entering the battle zone, he leaps to his feet and begins trading punches with MD! The Human Hard On gets the upper hand with a thumb to the eye. This allows him to grab Ned and lift him into an inverted atomic drop! As Ned deals with the pain leftover from the move, MD speeds to the ropes. But as he nears Ned, he’s taken off his feet with a leaping heel kick by Landon Maddix! The arrogant superstar then mounts The Human Hard On (no homo) and begins raining down punches on his handsome visage. COLE Maybe some revenge for Landon after being used as an unwilling battering ram. Elsewhere Vinny Valentine is working furiously to prevent himself from being dumped over the ropes by Ned Blanchard. Back halfway over the cable, Vinny resorts to clobbering Blanchard with open hand slaps. This backs Ned away, giving Vinny the space he needs to reenter the contest. He charges forward, and takes the OCC by surprise with a bulldog! But he can’t celebrate for very long, as Maddix is quick to terrorize him overhand rights. Weakening V-Squared with those blows, he’s able to easily shove him over the rope. However, Vinny falls upon the apron and clings tight to second rope to preserve his time in this match. Annoyed, Maddix grabs onto his gelled hair and drags him off the canvas. “LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS!” Gritting his teeth in anger with the crowd, Landon leads Vinny to the corner. But once they reach it, Vinny suddenly grabs onto Landon’s head and slams it into the ring post. Maddix stumbles away with his head ringing out in agony. Behind him Vinny climbs to the top rope. “Disco lives, baby!” Vinny shouts to a nice cheer from his hometown crowd. As they continue to root him on, Vinny captures Maddix in an inverted facelock. He signals for a reverse DDT, but meets heavy resistance from the Spanish superstar. Unable to overcome Maddix’s rebellion, Vinny is flung forward by the former world champion and crashes into the canvas. Unfortunately for Maddix, Mister Dick rushes in on him and forces him to Bite his shiny metal dick. But Mister Dick himself is put in great danger by Blanchard upending him with a lariat! 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1!!!! BZZZZZZZZT! Tommy G emerges onto the entrance stage with evil intentions at heart. He saunters down the ramp, ignoring the jeers the audience passes to him. COACH This guy could do some damage, Mikey. COLE No question about it. He’s not someone I’d like to cross in this rumble.. Blanchard seems to understand the lethality the imposing figure owns as he enters the ring. This is why, he allows Vinny Valentine to be the first one to attack him. V-Squared doesn’t fare very well, forcing Blanchard to aid him. The two men beat Tommy into the ropes, but before they can even think of upending him the big man shoves them away. COLE Look at that power from Tommy G! Tommy begins trading blows with the smaller Landon Maddix. Though outmatched, Maddix holds his ground long enough for him to weaken Anglesault’s hitman. With Tommy on wobbly knees, Maddix runs to the ropes. As he returns he leaps forward, and strikes down his rival with a forearm. Maddix kips up and nods to the audience, who douse him with more jeers. COLE Why, when you know everyone hates you, would you attempt to play to them? How often must you be booed for you to know that you have no redeeming qualities? As Maddix goes to work on Tommy, Mister Dick and V-Squared attempt to rid the ring of Ned. The Handsome Hustler fights them both of with furious left hands that push them back towards the center of the ring. Blanchard then bounces himself off the ropes and raises his arms for a double lariat! V-Squared has the wherewithal to duck the attack, but Mister Dick does not and is floored by the strike. Ned admirers his handiwork just a bit too long, and Vinny makes him pay with a basement dropkick. V-Squared busts out another funkalicious dance, before going upside Ned’s head with his Boogie Shoes! 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1!!!!!! “BZZZZZZZZZT!” THE WORLD IS MINE! One half of the one and only tag team champions, CMJ, arrives to the pumping beats of “The World Is Mine” He does little to endear himself to the audience, wearing a the jersey of his hometown Red Sox. COLE The Boston native, CMJ, not very welcome by the Yankee fans in attendance. In slides, CMJ to the consternation of Tommy G. The big man attempts to get a bead on the slippery superstar, but CMJ takes him off his feet with a dropkick to his back. Tommy G lands against the ring posts, leaving him exposed to the running knee CMJ lands against his back. Mere seconds after that strike lands, CMJ comes under heavy fire from Vinny Valentine. But the Beantown boy is more than up to task of battling against Vinny and strikes him with an uppercut that launches him over the ropes! Unfortunately CMJ can do no more damage than that, as Vinny sweeps out his legs. COLE No love lost between a Boston boy and a New York boy. Vinny stands up and begins to enter the ring. But his path is blocked by Landon Maddix who greets him with elbow shots to the head. Stunning V-Squared with the attacks, Maddix backs up. He then charges full speed ahead with a lariat aimed at Vinny. But the Disco Duck comes to life and nails him in the face with a rope aided superkick! “YEAAAAAAA!” the fans scream as Landon topples over. However, danger is as present as ever for Vinny who is suddenly trapped inside a full nelson form Mister Dick. Vinny attempts to wiggle free, but these efforts are wasted as Mister Dick hauls him upright and slams him off the apron with the Pure Penetration! Vinny crashes into the black ring mats causing him immense pain and ending his time in the match. “BOOOOOOOOO!” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Vinny Valentine Entered: 3rd Left: 2nd Time of participation: How the fuck would I know? Eliminated: None Eliminated by: Mister Dick Left in ring: Mister Dick, Landon Maddix, Ned Blanchard, Tommy G ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE Although he’s second to be eliminated, Vinny Valentine put up a brave fight here in his home of New York City. Meanwhile in the ring Tommy G and Ned Blanchard are attempting rid the match and the world of Landon Maddix’s annoying presence. However Maddix clings onto the ropes for dear life, and says several hail marries to protect himself from doom. Frustrated over their inability to get Maddix over the ropes, Blanchard and Tommy turn on each other. The two do battle at the edge of the ring firing off hellish punches. Tommy cuts the slugfest short by grabbing onto Ned’s neck with both hands and throwing him into the ropes. Tommy then gives chase after him, only to be met with a boot to the face from The Handsome Hustler. Blanchard then elevates himself to the second rope and connects with an axe handle that takes Tommy off his feet. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1!!!!! BZZZZZZZZZZZZT WELL ITS MIDNIGHT AND ITS COLDER PULL YOU CLOSER I CAN SEE THROUGH WHEN ITS SUNSHINE AND ITS SOLAR AND ITS OVER GUESS ITS ME AND YOU BLOOD. BY. SUN. LIGHT. Tyler Bryant leads the charge for D*LUX in this rumble. He runs down the entrance ramp, taking time to slap the hands of the many fans in the front row. COLE Mmmmff, here comes one well cooked prime cut of Michigan beefcake at number eight. While Blanchard and Tommy do battle in the corner, Landon Maddix pounds away at Mister Dick with stiff kicks, weakening him enough to begin pushing him over the ropes. But the savvy Human Hard On avoids elimination by rolling beneath the bottom cable. He stays in that sprawled out position on the ring apron in order to reclaim his lost breath. Problem is, his foe isn't willing to grant him the much needed time out. Thus Maddix slingshots himself over the top rope, and to the delight of some drills his wrestling boots into the MD’s face with a gruesome double stomp! “BOOOOOOOO!” As Ned screams in bleak agony, a charging Tyler Bryant seeks to eject the apron based Moss from his nest. But Maddix is one step ahead of the boyander and springboards into the ring to annihilate him with a lariat! The pair go tumbling backwards dragging the nearby brawling couple of Tommy and Ned down with them! The catastrophic collision is all the SWF World Champion needs to decide he's had enough of this particular battle royal, and The Money In The Bank winner begins to roll towards the safety of the outside. Unfortunately a sudden downpour of punches from Mister Dick halts him! COLE Mister Dick has revenge on his mind tonight! Mister Dick rips Maddix off the canvas and begins to chuck him over the ropes. Although Landon clings to the ropes, MD is still successful in shoving him over the top. Using his agility, Maddix is able to skin the cat. He pulls himself back up, wrapping his legs around Mister Dick. His hope to flip The Human Hard On over the ropes. But Mister Dick catches hold of his legs and brings Maddix back into the ring. Hung upside down, Maddix is unable to prevent MD from dropping to his knees with a tombstone piledriver! Things get all the worse for Landon when Tyler slides forward and strikes the back of his skull with both his boots! 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1!!!! BZZZZZZZZZZZT *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* COLE Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Through the entrance doors comes the 2009 Lethal Rumble winner, Bohemoth! A fast sprint down the ramp carries him into the ring, where he leaps to his feet and spears Mister Dick! The big man jumps up and delivers a second spear to Ned Blanchard! A third spear cuts down Tyler Bryant as well! He then turns to Tommy G and offers a high five to his partner in crime. “YEAAAAAAAAA!” The sudden cheer from the audience is for a black clad figure combing through the stands. He carries with him a chair, and a face of stern determination. He is The Franchise Zack Malibu! Bo and Tommy gaze at each other with worried expressions. However, they quickly calm their nerves and prepare for Zack’s arrival. COACH He ain’t in this match, get this old ass bum outta here. OAOAST moved on from you long ago, accept it, preppy. COLE Zack is coming for revenge, Coach! Bohemoth and Tommy better look out! Malibu dives into the ring with fury filling his eyes. Tommy G is the first to challenge him. He meets a grim fate when Zack swipes the chair across his face. Tommy stumbles awkwardly, clutching his sore head. Bo attempts to save him from further misery by attacking Malibu with a haymaker. But Zack ducks the attack, and Tommy is nailed with Bo’s massive arm! The big man is left loopy and dazed, which leads Tyler Bryant to easily toss him out the ring. COLE Oh my! COACH Damn, Big Bo, watch what you doing! Bo hasn’t even a moment to feel remorse before Zack cracks him on the jaw with the School’s Out! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Bo teeters and totters before finally being dropkicked over by Bryant! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tommy G Entered: 6th Left: 3rd Time of participation: How the fuck would I know? Eliminated: None Eliminated by: Tyler Bryant Left in ring: Mister Dick, Landon Maddix, Ned Blanchard, Tyler Bryant, CMJ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bohemoth Entered: 9th Left: 4th Time of participation: Fuck you Eliminated: Tommy G Eliminated by: Tyler Bryant Left in ring: Mister Dick, Landon Maddix, Ned Blanchard, Tyler Bryant, CMJ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There’s barely any time to process the monumental events before the countdown begins anew. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1!!!! BZZZZZZZZZZT THE WORLD IS MINE! New York’s finest, the ultimate product of the big apple, Spencer Reiger slides through the entrance doors. “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans get to their feet for Manhattan’s favorite son. COLE Here comes the other half of one and only tag team champions, and proud New Yorker! Spencer slides into the ring and immediately aids Collin in taking their old rival Ned Blanchard down with a double lariat. The two men stomp at Blanchard’s head, hoping to weaken him enough to bundle him over the top ropes. But their plans don’t go as expected, thanks to Tyler Bryant beating away Reiger. Bryant grabs onto Reiger’s arms and chucks him into the corner posts. He quickly follows SR in, but New York’s finest lowers his body and catches Bryant onto his shoulders! Wasting little time, Reiger flips him over in an effort to dump him out the ring. “LET’S GO SPENCER! LET’S GO SPENCER! LET’S GO SPENCER!” COLE Could Tyler’s time in the rumble be coming to an end? Much to the delight of teenage girls everywhere, Bryant saves himself from a disastrous plummet by hanging onto the ropes and guiding himself back onto the ring apron. Highly perturbed, Reiger charges at him, but meets with a shoulder to stomach for his troubles. Tyler then scampers atop the turnbuckles, drawing a cheer from the fans. He flies forward and cuts down SR with a missle dropkick. “BOOOOOOO!” Like a good partner, CMJ comes to Spencer’s aid with clubbing forearms to Tyler’s back. Bryant is doubled over, leaving him easily taken into a front facelock by the Boston native. “LET’S GO RED SOX!” CMJ shouts. “RED SOX SUCK! RED SOX SUCK! RED SOX SUCK!” the New Yorker’s reply. CMJ prepares to DDT the cute boybander. But his plans encounter failure when Mister Dick nails him with a Stiff Kick! The shot lands with so much force that it pushes CMJ into the ring ropes. Mister Dick smells blood in the water, and charges at Collin. Thinking fast, the tag champion lowers the ropes and Mister Dick tumbles over them. Fortunately for him he lands onto the ring apron as the countdown resumes 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1!!!! BZZZZZZZZZZZZZT! Master Blaster plays and the audience leaps to their feet and let out a huge cheer for the Heartland Title holder, Denzel Spencer! COLE The eleventh entry, Denzel Spencer, has as good a chance as anyone of winning this whole thing. COACH It would cap off a great couple of months he’s been having here. The moment Denzel enters the ring , Landon Maddix darts towards with arm outstretched for a lariat. Yet, he evades his strike by leaping behind him, and collaring her arm around his neck. Maddix is cursed with a nauseating 360 whirl, before being dropped on his neck by a neckbreaker! The fans pop for Denzel, but there’s no time for joy as Blanchard is closing in on Denzel. But the Heartland Champion stops the Orange County native with a scissors kick. Denzel then takes hold of his arm and shoots him into the ropes. As Blanchard nears Denzel, he’s thrown off course by a diving shoulder tackle from New York’s finest, Spencer Reiger. COLE A great play by Reiger, he totally derailed Ned Blanchard. Reiger then gets into Denzel’s face, for no other reason than that he likes to talk shit. “S-R! S-R! S-R!” the fans chant the initials of New York’s finest. Denzel refuses to back down to SR and holds firm. This highly angers Reiger and he starts throwing punches at Denzel! The attacks land with awesome ferocity, forcing Denzel to take cover in a nearby corner. COACH SR’s doing the right thang, you can’t just punch a Jamacian dude and let it be that, those suckas keep on comin’ and comin’, you gotta beat that ass so he knows you gonna beat that ass everytime he crosses you. Elsewhere Bryant is roaring towards Maddix with head lowered, and nostrils flaring like a bull. Rather than be impaled by Bryant, Landon leapfrogs him and the teen hottie continues running to the ropes. As Bryant returns, Maddix attempts to sucker him into a monkeyflip. But Bryant hops over his sprawled out body to land behind Mister Dick who’s too busy pounding on CMJ to notice. He’s made aware of Bryant’s presence when he turns his organs inside out with a lungblower. “YEAH-UH!” Bryant shouts to cheers from Madison Square Garden. 10 9 8 COLE Who’s up next at number twelve? 7 6 5 4 3 2 1!!!! BZZZZZZZZZT! "Ironman" hits as the monstrous man known as The Cuban Wall confidently heads to the ring. COLE The 2008 Lethal Rumble winner surprised everyone with his victory. We haven’t seen him on OAOAST TV in a while and you have to wonder how that will effect his performance. Wall steps over the ring ropes and immediately goes after SR who’s standing on the second rope punching Denzel Spencer. He rips SR away from Denzel, taking him onto his shoulders. SR’s face sags in panic, seeing how dangerously close he is to being thrown out of the ring. COLE Spencer Reiger is in big trouble! COACH How you do you continually get paid to do nothing but point out the obvious? Wall begins lowering Spencer for a powerbomb. However the agile champion flails himself backwards and the pair take a violent spill to the outside! Wall’s big body crashes first against the mats, providing a landing strip for Reiger. COLE Wall is out! Reiger quickly composes himself after the nasty tumble. He signals to the referee that he landed on Wall and not on the mats, thus he’s not eliminated. Without waiting for confirmation, Reiger hurriedly slides into the ring. “I’m New York’s finest!” Reiger shouts to his hometown audience, looking more than a little appreciative of his fine luck. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Sneaky, sneaky, sneaky! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Cuban Wall Entered: 12th Left: 5th Time of participation: Eat my ass Eliminated: None Eliminated by: Spencer Reiger Left in ring: Mister Dick, Landon Maddix, Ned Blanchard, Tyler Bryant, CMJ, Spencer Reiger, Denzel Spencer ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE So both the 2008 and 2009 Rumble winners have been surprisingly eliminated. That leaves the field wide open! With the audience firmly behind him, Blanchard attempts to muscle Maddix over the rope. But Maddix is a survivor and clings with all his strength. Eventually Blanchard grows frustrated and simply begins smashing fists into the back of Maddix’s head. Landon screams in agony, and starts kicking his legs back at Blanchard. This proves to be a grand success as Ned tips over and falls to the canvas. Maddix rolls beneath the ropes and to the outside to catch a much needed breather. COLE Oh come on! You just can’t come and go as you please, that should be an instant disqualification. COACH There’s no rule against it. You shouldn’t punish a guy for being smart. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1!!!! BZZZZZZZZZZT! “I CAN FEEL IT COMING IN THE AIR TONIGHT” To the sounds of Non Point’s cover of “In the air tonight” comes Christopher Patrick Allen. COLE Here comes one of the most dangerous and toughest, men in Rumble. Could he be Reject's next world title contender? Bryant feels that toughness first hand as he’s thrown against the cables by CPA. He bounces back, sliding through a hole in CPA’s legs. The big man swings around only to be caught with left hands from Ned Blanchard. COLE Old rivals going at it! Blanchard grabs his one-time friend and launches him into the corner. The Handsome Hustler chases after him, but a raised boot thwarts any offensive efforts. CPA then turns his attention back to Tyler Bryant. Bryant meets his larger foe with harsh chops, only be swatted away like a common fruit fly. Tyler falls into the ropes, and CPA runs to crisscross him. When their pathes meet, CPA extends his arm forward and strikes Bryant with the Gigaton Punch! Tyler flies backwards, landing against the ropes and barely able to remain conscious. Mister Dick can sense this and runs forward to blast Tyler with the Stiff Kick! The teen idol is flung over the ropes and eliminated from the contest. “BOOOOOOOOOOOO!” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tyler Bryant Entered: 8th Left: 6th Time of participation: Eat my ass Eliminated: Bohemoth, Tommy G Eliminated by: Mister Dick Left in ring: Mister Dick, Landon Maddix, Ned Blanchard, CPA, CMJ, Spencer Reiger, Denzel Spencer ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Denzel pounces immediately upon CPA, while Tyler is helped to his feet on the outside. CPA fights back though, and is easily able to take Denzel onto his shoulders to set up the Dominator! But CPA is blindsided by Spencer Reiger, who goes across his face with a superkick! Both Denzel and CPA nosedive to the canvas, landing with a booming thud. Reiger seems happy with his work, and gives himself a high-five. Elsewhere, Landon Maddix still rests on the outside as the countdown begins anew. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1!!!!!! BZZZZZZZZZZZZZT Laaaaaaast summer we took threes across the boooard, But by faaaaaall we were a cover story, Now in stooooooreeees. Make us poster boys for your scene. But we....are not making an acceptance speech. I found the safest place to keep all our old mistakes. Every dot com's refreshing for a journal update The crowd lets out an enormous pop for The Gunslinger Baron Windells. His former partner, Mister Dick leans over the ropes and waves Windells into the ring. The former tag champion is not one to back down from a good fight, and rushes at top speed into the ring. Mister Dick swings a lariat at him, but Windells ducks it and continues towards CMJ. Before Collin even has a moment to defend himself, BW is lariating him over the top rope! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Collin Maguire Junior Entered: 7th Left: 7th Time of participation: Eat my ass Eliminated: none Eliminated by: Baron Windells Left in ring: Mister Dick, Landon Maddix, Ned Blanchard, CPA, Baron Windells, Spencer Reiger, Denzel Spencer ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SR doesn’t notice his partner’s elimination due to being involved in a heavy slugfest with Ned near the ropes. Though they fight with all their might, neither man can claim victory as Mister Dick shoves them both over the cables and onto the floor! “BOOOOOOOOO!” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Spencer Reiger Entered: 10th Left: 8th Time of participation: Eat my ass Eliminated: Cuban Wall Eliminated by: Mister Dick Left in ring: Mister Dick, Landon Maddix, , CPA, Baron Windells, Denzel Spencer ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ned Blanchard Entered: 5th Left: 9th Time of participation: 80 million seconds Eliminated: None Eliminated by: Mister Dick Left in ring: Mister Dick, Landon Maddix,, CPA, Baron Windells, Denzel Spencer ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Elsehwere Baron Windells fights off Denzel Spencer, but as soon as he rids himself of Denzel, CPA on the attack. He trades punches with the former boxer, but soon realizes that’s a recipe for failure. Thus he grabs onto CPA’s waist and unexpectedly lifts him over his head. COLE That is not a small man Baron Windells is press slamming! That is one the bigger performers in the OAOAST! Windells nears the ropes and hurls CPA over them, to a great cheer from the sold out audience. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CPA Entered: 13th Left: 10th Time of participation: Suck it! Eliminated: None Eliminated by: Baron Windells Left in ring: Mister Dick, Landon Maddix, , Baron Windells, Denzel Spencer ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE The old Lonestar Gunslingers are cleaning house! Denzel attempts to sneak attack Windells, who’s throwing up the longhorns to the cheering audience. But Mister Dick, who chucks Denzel over the ring ropes, unexpectedly saves Windells! “BOOOOOOOOOOO!” the fans react, not wishing to see the Heartland champion disposed of. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Denzel Spencer Entered: 10th Left: 11th Time of participation: Suck it! Eliminated: None Eliminated by: Mister Dick Left in ring: Landon Maddix, Baron Windells, Mister Dick ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ With Landon still lingering on the outside with no intention of getting back inside, the former tag team partners are left to their own devices. The two men get into each other’s faces, with Mister Dick providing acid tongue insults to his once good friend. Windells merely remains calm, and smiles at every cruel word that comes out of Mister Dick’s lips. That smile grows even larger when he slugs MD in the jaw! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Now Baron is trying to clean the house of Mister Dick! The two come to blows, each man doing their best to try and score a homerun swing on the other. MD eventually grows tired of brawling and rushes to the ropes. He comes back wielding the stiff kick! But Windells blocks the attack, and slams MD’s foot to the ground. He then whips MD into the corner, and rushes after him. MD is then forced to Bite his shiny metal ass! MD begins staggering out the corner, his eyes glazed over and his step unsteady. While he tries to cope with the pain of BW’s signature stroke, his onetime best friend makes a run off the ropes. When he returns he flattens Mister Dick with a brutal lariat! As MD groans in pain, BW taunts him by performing one of The Human Hard On’s signature crotch chops. “YEAAAAAAAA!” COACH You know that’s gotta hurt Mister Dick, seeing that! BW then scrapes his one time partner off the canvas, to whip him into the ropes. Coming back Mister Dick avoids a raised boot and continues a run to the ropes. He returns with a raised forearm aimed at BW’s head. But Windells counters with a devastating spine buster! Next, BW charges into the ropes. They spit him back and he takes flight to strike MD’s sternum with a knee drop. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1!!! BZZZZZZZZZZZZT God of thunder and rock and roll The spell you're under Will slowly rob you of your virgin soul I'm the lord of the wastelands A modern day man of steel I gather darkness to please me And I command you to kneel Before the God of thunder and rock and roll Loud and hateful jeers pollute the air, as Reject’s wingman, ThunderKid pushes his way through the entrance doors. COACH It just got a little deadlier for Baron Windells. Two Deadly Alliance members in the ring? Bye-bye, Baron! TK saves MD from a prolonged beating by clubbing BW down with a running axe handle. But BW quickly scampers to his feet, and unloads powerful left crosses on TK’s face. Unable to stave off these attacks, TK begins crying for help. MD answers the call and bulldogs Baron to the ground. Together with TK, he brutalizes The Gunslinger. “LET’S GO BARON! LET’S GO BARON! LET’S GO BARON!” the crowd sings, earning them a crotch chop from Mister Dick. The two men drag BW off the canvas, and launch him into a corner. TK follows that simple attack up with running lariat. However, Windells surges from the corner and smashes TK’s chest with a lariat of his own! Windells picks TK off the canvas, and throws him into the corner. Hitting hard, TK stumbles away from the corner. But he sets himself up for a devastating running elbow by BW! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE He really got him there! Grumbling about TK ineffectiveness, MD marches towards to Baron to pound him into dust. But The Gunslinger is ready for his arrival and stabs him in the stomach with a boot! He hooks on a front facelock and within moments MD is being drilled into the canvas with The Brigham Young Cocktail (leaping ddt)! The fans delight over the deadly move, as Windells now attempts to dump MD over the ropes. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1! BZZZZZZZZZZZT! HERE WE GO AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER! There’s a decidedly angry reaction from the audience as Sandman makes his appearance in the 2010 Lethal Rumble. COLE Could it be Sandman moving on to face his buddy Reject at Anglemania? COACH Hahaha! Baron is now stuck in the ring with three of the Deadly Alliance. You gonna get that ass beat, you gonna get that ass beat! Although faced with impossible odds, Baron refuses to back down or shy away. Instead he meets Sandman head on, stomping at the former Heartland Champion. Unfortunately he can’t do much damage as Mister Dick smashes his forearm into the back of his head. MD then grabs onto Windell’s sandy blonde hair and throws him face first into the turnbuckle pads. Baron leans against the corner posts, trying to catch his breath. But MD will not allow him any reprieve and climbs onto the second posts. He rains down punches upon Windells head, snapping it back and forth like a tether. COLE Mister Dick is unloading those HARD shots on his former tag team partner. To Mister Dick’s surprise, BW grabs onto his muscular legs. He then strides forward and drops MD down with an inverted atomic drop. Metal cup or no, MD is left crippled by the searing pain. The audience’s delight over the move is tempered somewhat when Sandman begins winging punches at Windells. In his defense, BW attempts to irish whip Sandy. But Sandman reverses it and sends BW towards the ropes. However, the Gunslinger is intercepted by TK who throws him over with a powerslam! COACH Wicked powerslam right there.

We’re taken to an outside parking lot where the Heavenly Rockers stand in front of their tour bus, now designed to depict them at the Last Supper. At their side stand several security guards with the word “BAND SECURITY” stretched across their shirts. Holding up a microphone to Logan Mann’s face is Maggie Nerdly. MAGGIE What’s up ya’ll? Maggie Nerdly, It Girl On the Scene, with The Heavenly Rockers. Logan you’ve got The Rockers entry into The Lethal Rumble, what does this mean- MANN Hey, hey, show some respect to the Heavenly Rockers creative jucies and do the polite, lady like thing and compliment, not comment, but compliment on our brand new tourbus design. SYNTH Descartes, Socrates, Plato, they got nothing on the artistic skills of us right here. MAGGIE I guess not, those are philosophers not artists! Philosophers! SYNTH Damn Stephen Hawking over here is cramping ma style and questioning my mind space! MAGGIE I guess it is a good paint job, though. LOGAN Nice and cheap to. HOLLY You can get a pretty good deal from someone when you’re hanging them out a (beep) five story window. Loooooooong way down for being a penny pinching bitch. LOGAN Heheheheh. I could’ve done without the peeing the pants part, that idiot almost stained up my silver gloves. Piss ain’t easy to remove from satin, Maggie. MAGGIE I bet it isn’t. But I didn’t come to rap about the new tour bus. I wanna know how you’re feeling about the Lethal Rumble. ABDULLAH My dear blood-sister, brother Logan is clear and aware of the higher power in both mind, body, and soul. His is a unified front blessed and touched by the songs of a greater being. The center of his spiritual world is an epi-center of worldly magnificence and betterment of the body-mind unison. MAGGIE Uh-huh. WHAT THE HELL DOES ANY OF THAT MEAN?!!!!!! HOLLY It means tell the twenty other (beep)suckers to watch their back, because my husband is gunning for their (beep)head asses. ABDULLAH Eloquently and concisely put, my young lady. Suddenly the interview is interrupted by Moracca running onto scene. In his hands he holds a bootleg Heavenly Rockers CD. LOGAN Damn it the Tropicana truck must have rolled by, because here comes the fruit. SYNTH What do ya want, tinkerbell? Yer a long way from the glory holes of Greenwich Village! MAGGIE Guys, be nice. MORACCA Autograph! Autograph! Autograph new cd! SYNTH That’s whatcha want, eh? Just an autograph? LOGAN His taste in sexual partners may be wacked, but I can’t question his musical leanings. Alright, Lance Bass, I got an autograph for ya. ABDULLAH Brother Logan, beware! The CD he holds is of illegal makings! HOLLY The little (beep) has a bootleg CD! LOGAN Hell no! You’re taking money outta my pockets? I gotta pay the gasoline on a gigantic ass tourbus! This thing isn’t a Prius, man! Its half the size of empire state budling. I can’t even go to CVS without using up half a tank! And how am I supposed to dry clean my silver gloves, you can’t wash those things with Tide! MORCAA I am sorry! Just want autograph! The luchadore begins thrusting the CD into Logan’s face. Annoyed, incredibly much so, Logan motions for one of the band security to come an aid him. MAGGIE Guys, there’s no reason to get the goon squad involved. ABDULLAH My sister of many years, this is no mere goon, this Martin Andrews head of band security. The hulking man stands at least 6’7 and towers above Moracca. MARTIN ANDREWS Quiz for you. I’m gonna grab you by your neck…. Andrews wraps his large hands around his targets neck. ANDREWS No what do you do? Morcca is then lifted off the ground and hurled into the tourbus. He’s thrown upwards and crashes through the window! MAGGIE Oh my god! ANDREWS Looks like you failed the quiz. The Rockers walk off, sharing a laugh with Andrews, as Maggie tries her best to check on Moracca’s condition

The lights go down inside of the arena. "Independent Woman Part 1" by Destiny's Child starts playing. A noticeable cheer comes from the crowd. Pink strobe lights are all over the entrance. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez walks with a swagger in her step onto the entrance stage, a single spotlight on her, where she strikes a pose, slightly extending her left leg and announcing to the crowd that she is #1 with her right hand while her left hand remains on her left hip. Pink pyro explodes behind her. Afterwards, Lindsay walks to the ring with a swagger in her step and the spotlight still on her, making sure that no fan touches any part of her beautiful body. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen this is your next contest, scheduled for one fall for the OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP! On the way to the ring is the challenger. From Toronto, Ontario Canada by way of San Juan, Puerto Rico... she is "THE LATINA BITCH"... MS. LLLLIIIIIIIINNDDSSSSSSAAAAAYYYYYYY... GGOOOOONNZZZZZAAAALLLLLLEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" As "Independent Woman Part 1" continues playing over the P.A. system, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez heads up the ring steps and then stops on the ring apron to laugh at the fans. She then very slowly enters the ring, allowing the fans to get a good look at her ass as she does so. COLE I'm not a big fan of this young lady. But darn it all, I do looove this song! COACH All the women, who independent, get your tits out for me. COLE And now it's ruined forever. Lindsay gets onto a second turnbuckle and outstretches her arms, letting out a maniacal laugh while doing so. Lindsay then gets off of the second turnbuckle and then bounces off of the ropes. She gets ready for her match as the lights go back on inside of the arena and "Independent Woman Part 1" by Destiny's Child dies down. COLE Ever since Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez returned to the OAOAST last year, she has made her goal crystal clear. To come back and be the OAOAST Women's Champion again. After years of success leading her charges to World Titles, Lindsay is used to success and accustomed to power. However, all her years of seconding World Champions may not have prepared her for this. GO! To un-explain the unforgivable, Drain all the blood and give the kids a show. By streetlight this dark night, A séance down below. There are things that I have done, You never should ever know! And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. Charges of electricity scream down on an entrance stage that’s carpeted by dark blue lights. On the numerous video screens throughout the Garden images of flashes of electrical bolts find their way onto screen. After the final violent bolt of electricity touches down on stage the entrances door rip apart to showcase Morgan Nerdly. Stalking slowly to the ring, Morgan looks around the famous arena wide-eyed, shying away from the rowdy reaction from the New York crowd. BUFFER And, her opponent. From Edmonton, Alberta, Canada... she is the current reigning and defending OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION!! Prepare for SHOCK and awe from MMMOOOOOOORRRRRGGAAAAAAANN... NNEEEERRRRRDDLLLLLYYYYYYYY!!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Morgan approaches the ring, hand clasped tightly to the belt around her waist. She slides under the bottom rope and sits, staring impassively at Lindsay. COLE Living proof that dynamite comes in small packages. Morgan Nerdly, the baby of the Nerdly clan, as dangerous as they come once that bell rings. But as strong as she is in the ring, she is as fragile outside and that's something Lindsay Gonzalez has tried to exploit in the past few weeks leading to this match. As she undoes her belt and stands up, handing it over to the referee, Morgan is again distracted by the large and noisy crowd. COLE And it seems like this crowd in New York City... a strong percentage, at least... putting their support behind Morgan in this one. COACH Well that's no surprise. They're New Yorkers. They want to see someone get hurt and if anyone's going to cause it, it'll be Morgan. Don't think for a second Lindsay cares what these people think though. COLE No I'm sure she's grown used to being hated by this point in her life. Lindsay scowls at the crowd as the title is lifted to each side of the arena, then handed outside. Taking solace in her corner, Morgan rests her head on the ropes, keeping the corner of her eye on Lindsay, just incase. *DINGDINGDING* As both girls emerge from their corners, Lindsay is immediately running her mouth. Berating Morgan, she sees Morgan is somewhat caught up in her thoughts and gives her a shove, pushing the Women's Champion onto her ass. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE That was a bitch move. COACH Well, duh. COLE Might not have been a smart move either. Why you'd want to get Morgan angry is beyond me. Once the initial shock has gone away, Morgan looks up wide-eyed at Lindsay as she smirks and poses to the NYC crowd. The Women's Champion picks herself up, running her fingers through her hair. After another verbal attack, Morgan is shoved right back down again though. COLE Now that was just gratuitous. Lindsay leans down and mocks Morgan by making boo-boo eyes and asking if she's "gonna cwy now?" As she gets back up, Morgan strokes away at her hair a little more aggressively than before, her hands shaking. Morgan starts muttering to herself as she tugs on her hair, which seems to excite the crowd. COACH Uh-oh. With a sneer on her face, Lindsay shakes her head, clearly not worried by this unnerving behaviour from her opponent. And she goes to shoves Morgan again... but Morgan steps back and shoves Lindsay down instead, before diving on top and swinging wildly with slaps!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE Lindsay brought that on herself. And look at Morgan go here! COACH Get outta there Lindsay, before she rips your face off! Perhaps hearing Coach, or perhaps just smart enough to know she's getting pummelled, Lindsay manages to roll away and drag herself outside. She looks shocked and tries to compose herself on the outside. Morgan is right out after the challenger though and hits a tackle on the floor, sending them spilling over towards the timekeeper's table! Morgan gets on top again and continues clawing and scratching while Lindsay tries to seek solace underneath the table. No such luck. Pulled out from under the cloth, Lindsay has her head thrown into the timekeeper's table to the delight of the crowd. COLE And Lindsay is finding out firsthand that Morgan Nerdly is far from the easy target she might seem. COACH Well she is once you push her too far. Which Lindsay never should have done. Catching up to her, Morgan throws Lindsay back inside the ring. Calmed down a little, Morgan doesn't follow Lindsay in and instead goes to the top rope. With Lindsay concerned about any damage done to her face that allows Morgan to fly in with a crossbody block... 1... 2... No! Morgan hits Lindsay with a kick, knocking her back into the corner. More kicks then unload, at lightning speed, leaving Lindsay winded up against the turnbuckles. COLE The referee trying to keep Morgan on a leash her, trying to keep her within the rules. He's got to watch himself too though. If Morgan is anything, it's volatile and unpredictable. For now Morgan is in check and genuinely sorry for doing anything wrong in the referee's eyes. Bringing Lindsay out of the corner, Morgan delivers a snap suplex. Morgan then hooks the leg, looking for the pin... 1... 2... No! Hitting away at Lindsay, Morgan keeps her challenger down while she plans her next move. She hits the ropes and delivers a basement dropkick, which sends Lindsay rolling towards the ropes. Lindsay picks herself up, as Morgan comes running in again. The Latina Bitch is ready for her this time though, picking Morgan's slender body up and hanging it over the top rope, sending the Women's Champion snapping back down to earth with a thud! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH There's the brains that have lead two World Heavyweight Champions, the presence of mind and the awareness of Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez! Morgan is left clutching her neck in pain, giving Lindsay time to point out how smart she is (incase it needed emphasising) by tapping her head. COLE Morgan got hung up pretty bad there. And now Lindsay has the Women's Champion right where she wants her. Walking over Lindsay gives the prone Morgan a stomp in the side of the head, earning her a warning from the referee. Which is treated with total contempt. Lindsay struts around the ring like she owns it, not endearing herself to the New York crowd. Morgan slowly picks herself up and Lindsay finally gets back into the action, grabbing the back of Morgan's hair and yanking her back down to the mat, which bounces the back of her head nastily. "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" Lindsay smirks at the abuse, for now at least. COLE Looks like the former Mrs. Popick has been missed in her time away, huh? COACH I certainly missed her. COLE I'm sure you were sad to hear that she's single now, too. COACH Oh, yes. Devestated I was. Here's hoping she's ready to find another man soon. Emotionally, I mean. Scooping Morgan up, Lindsay delivers a delayed bodyslam. Lindsay then sits the Women's Champion up and takes aim, with a jumping dropkick to the face! Cover... 1... 2... No! Morgan girts her teeth in dogged determination, but suddenly finds herself choked for air as Lindsay places her knee across her throat! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" Standing up, Lindsay acts like she's done nothing wrong and takes another stroll around the ring, antagonising the fans. COACH You have to admire the courage of this lady. Recently divorced. And she still has the heart to come out here and put on a show, like a true performer. I wish her all the best at what must be a very testing time. COLE Testing time? Did you see what she got in that divorce settlement!? COACH Did I mention I hope that she's ready to move on with her life soon? Lindsay drags Morgan to her feet and drives a knee into her gut, then delivers a forearm shot. Morgan falls against the ropes and is sent across the ring with an irish whip. Too casual, Lindsay telegraphs a duck of the head though and the Women's Champion manages to turn the tables, with a faceplant on Ms. Lindsay!! Morgan picks herself back up and quickly knocks Lindsay over with a high crossbody. 1... 2... No! Rolled away by the kickout, Morgan tries to run back at Lindsay but ends up running into a clothesline! Cover by Lindsay, ordering the ref to get down and count... 1... 2... No! Lindsay gets on the referee's case about the count, not happy. "SKANK!" "SKANK!" "SKANK!" "SKANK!" COACH They're not chanting what I think they're chanting, are they!? COLE I think they are. This time, Lindsay cannot take the chants in good humour. Infact she is APPALLED by the rudeness of the New York crowd and sees fit to go around the ring, shouting that she is infact not a "skank". This distraction allows Morgan some time to recover and when Lindsay goes back over to grab her, Morgan captures her in an inside cradle! COLE Look out, this could be all! 1... 2... Kickout! Both girls are quickly back up and it's Lindsay who lands first with a boot to the gut. She goes for an irish whip, but Morgan reverses, throwing Lindsay into the turnbuckles. Morgan comes charging, putting her not-enormous body weight behind a big corner splash, still enough to hurt her similarly-sized challenger. Hooking Lindsay up, Morgan then runs her out of the corner with a big Bulldog, right in the middle of the ring! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE Morgan starting to fight back here. You can't underestimate the heart in this young woman. Morgan moves the referee aside and lifts herself up, sat on the top turnbuckle. She waits for Lindsay to get back up, talking some confidence into herself, before she takes off with a missile dropkick from the second rope, bowling the Cana-Rican challenger over! COLE A big dropkick from little Morgan... and listen to this Madison Square Garden crowd, come alive for the Women's Champion! COACH Eh. It's just sympathy. Waiting for Lindsay to get back up, Morgan prepares to deliver some Shock and Awe, lifting Lindsay up onto her shoulders... ...but Lindsay slips free! With a hard shove in the back Lindsay then manages to throw Morgan off, sending her HARD into the turnbuckles!! COLE Ooh! Man, Morgan hit hard, she might have hurt her neck again in the process. COACH And now she's in trouble! As she stumbles out from the corner holding the back of her neck, Morgan walks into a boot, then gets hit with a Moonlight Drive flipping neckbreaker by Gonzalez!! COACH Morgan just found a Razor Blade In A Lollipop. What rotten luck! Lindsay looks jubilant as she kicks back, hooking Morgan's leg and counting along with the pin... 1... 2... 3.. NO!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Not enough yet though! And Lindsay isn't happy! COACH I don't blame her! Jumping to her feet Lindsay berates the referee, insisting that should have been a three count. COLE Boy, Lindsay is irate. She can't believe that that wasn't enough. She'd be better off focusing on the match than on tearing a strip off of our official though. Lindsay eventually runs out of abusive words and storms away from the referee to pick Morgan up. Roughing the Women's Champion up, Lindsay insists this time, it's all over. She steps to Morgan's side and sets her up for a russian legsweep, pulling her back, ready to send Morgan face-first. At which point, Morgan reaches back and counters with a snapmare. COLE Looking for the Bitchslap, but Morgan counters. Rolling through to her feet, Lindsay runs at Morgan and gets picked up on the shoulders for the Shock and Awe... but too close to the ropes!! Lindsay grabs the top rope and manages to pull herself out of Morgan's grip, out onto the safety of the ring apron. Morgan tries to hang on, but the referee forces a break with the two in the ropes. Force being the operative word, which Morgan doesn't like, throwing the referee off of her. COLE Referee in the way there. COACH Yeah, keep your hands off, pal. With the referee off of her, Morgan goes back after Lindsay. But Lindsay is waiting and drops off the apron, snapping Morgan's throat across the top rope on the way down!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Oh, Lindsay caught Morgan again, hung her up on the ropes! And the referee didn't see it. COACH That's the smartest girl I've ever met, right there. COLE I don't doubt that. Lindsay turns to the fans and smirks, dusting her hands in satisfaction and taking a bow. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Lindsay pretty happy with herself. COACH So she ought to be! She'll be even happier in a few seconds too, when she's got that shiny, shiny belt in her hands. Sliding back into the ring Lindsay looks immensely pleased with herself, seeing Morgan in a bad way. Reaching down, she goes to pick the Women's Champion up, already gloating to the crowd about what she's about to do. However, what she's about to do is eat her words, as Morgan surprises everybody by rising up and lifting Lindsay up off the mat, and HITTING THE SHOCK AND AWE!!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH COLE Morgan hits the Shock and Awe!! Where did THAT come from!? Morgan quickly hooks the leg, the MSG crowd counting along... 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* An unexpectedly popular three count, the crowd erupt as Morgan's hand is raised in victory. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match and STILL OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION... MMMOOOOORRRRGGAAAAAAAAANN... NNEEEEEERRRRRDDLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYY!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE I don't know if Morgan lulled Lindsay into a false sense of security, or whether that was just a case of instincts taking over. But Morgan, from seemingly out of nowhere, able to turn a bad situation into a great one and pick up the victory here at AnglePalooza 2010! Still nursing her neck, Morgan takes her OAOAST Women's Title and clutches it tightly to her chest as she rolls out of the ring. Looking amazed at what just happened and possibly the fact that the crowd are happy that it happened too, the wide-eyed Women's Champion backs up the aisle, too shocked to actually celebrate. Back in the ring meanwhile, Lindsay lies hurt and dazed. COLE This young lady is full of surprises! And 2009's Angle Award winning Female Of The Year is off to a roaring start here in 2010 as well. COACH She got lucky if you ask me. I mean... she won, but... I don't know how she did! Poor Lindsay, I thought she had this one wrapped up! What in the heck happened!? Lindsay! What happened? Sitting up, a groggy Lindsay looks round wondering the same thing and is mortified upon realising that she's lost. She whines to herself as she gets back up, frustrated at what happened. A sad state, which isn't made any better by the New York fans around her loving every second of it. COLE Not the night Ms. Lindsay had been hoping for. Will tonight be the night that Leon Rodez is hoping for? He will be apart of the 30 Man Over The Top Rope Lethal Rumble here tonight, where it's a case of make or break for the former World Champion. And right now Josh Matthews is standing by with the OAOAST's Fallen Idol. An upset Lindsay leaves the ring and makes the walk of shame down the aisle, with the New Yorkers showing her no sympathy on the way. We then cut back, to find Leon Rodez, cutting a miserable figure as ever. Stood amongst the surplus of metal structuring poles and supports you find backstage at a wrestling show, Leon stands with hands on hips staring at the ground with a curl in his lip. MATTHEWS Well, already a good night for one half of the OAOAST most 'interesting' relationship. Tonight, Leon, will it be a good night for you as you look to book your ticket to Las Vegas and the main event of AngleMania IX, in the Lethal Rumble Match? Leon scowls for a while, before finally glancing up. LEON Will it be a good night? Is it ever a good night for me, Josh? No. You see, tonight isn't about having a 'good night'. Tonight isn't about achieving something that will make me feel happy, or proud. Winning the Lethal Rumble isn't some prize to me. It's a neccessity. I need to win the Lethal Rumble. Ever since Josie Baker's seen fit to freeze me out of the World Title picture... this is my chance to step past all that... force her hand and give her no say in the matter at all. Leon looks off into the distance for a second. LEON Everybody knows that I got screwed out of the OAOAST World Title at the Halloween Spectacular. What was rightfully mine was taken away from me. Snatched out of my grasp. And since nobody on this earth is going to give me the support and the help I need to get back what's rightfully mine... then I'm going to have to do it on my own. Twenty-nine other wrestlers? Doesn't matter. See I've been living under a siege mentality for as long as I can remember now. It's me against the world. Everything around me, working against me. I live that life. I fight that battle, every day. So tonight... twenty-nine obstacles to overcome... twenty-nine other people, trying to step on my dream and crush it in front of my eyes... it's just another day in the 'fun-filled' life of Leon Rodez. Scoffing, Leon scowls back down at the floor again. LEON Make no mistake about it. Siege-mentality. I will do whatever I have to do... whatever the cost... to get what I want... and it doesn't matter who, or how many, try to stop me. Leon gives Josh one last icy-cold stare, before walking off.

BUFFER OAOAST Marks, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for THE ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! “Tom Sawyer“ by Rush cues and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez leads the Can-Am Assassins ringside. BUFFER Introducing first, the challengers. Led down the aisle by LINDSAY GONZALEZ, at a total combine weight of 488 pounds… “AFTER HOURS” FELIX STRUTTER and KEN PANTERA… THE CAN-AM AAAASSSSAAAASSSSSINNNNSSSS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Strutter poses on the middle turnbuckle while Pantera stretches, knee bandaged and all. COLE There you see the knee of Ken Pantera heavily taped after he was sneak-attacked by the LDC Moneygang this past weekend on OAOAST Syndicated. In case you missed, here‘s what happened. Courtesy: OAOAST Syndicated This Past Weekend COLE In many people’s minds the uncrown tag team champions, tonight the Can-Am Assassins get another shot at the gold and this time the odds are even with Lindsay Gonzalez in their corner to combat Lorelei DeCenzo. COACH Like that sweet little angel would interfere. And I know what you’re gonna say, Cole, so don’t bother. Lorelei’s gone over that twice already. She was just looking for her missing contact lens. COLE And I’m really straight. Give me a break! “The World is Mine” by David Guetta hits to a fairly large pop, but not enough to completely drown out the boo birds. BUFFER And their opponents, accompanied by LORELEI DECENZO… at a total combine weight of 420 pounds, THE ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS… COLIN MAGUIRE, JR., SPENCER REIGER… THE LDC MMMOOOONNEYGANG!! Flanked by green and gold spotlights, Reiger plays to the hometown crowd. His partner, a Boston native, isn’t so warmly received, however. CMJ heckled by obnoxious Yankees fans still basking in the glory of their 27th championship. COLE We always knew New Yorkers were a unique bunch and they’re proving it again tonight. COACH Translation: you can’t believe a lot of them are cheering for the LDC Moneygang. The pre-match garb is removed and the titles are handed to referee Charles Robinson, who holds them up for all to see. After some last second words both teams are ready to go. * DINGDINGDING * CMJ and Strutter elect to start, but a loud “WE WANT REIGER” chants prompts a change. Reiger struts in and offers a NY handshake, which Strutter swats away in favor of a HIGH ROUNDHOUSE KICK! LORELEI Reiger rolls outside for a breather, but too close to the ropes he gets leveled by a baseball slide! Strutter dumps him back in and performs a SPRINGBOARD HURRICANRANA!! ONE! TWO! SAVE BY CMJ! Pantera enters and the Can-Am Assassins double-team CMJ. They deck CMJ with a double back elbow and then Pantera press slams Strutter onto him! Reiger charges forward, but Strutter ducks a wild right and executes a BRIDGING GERMAN SUPLEX with an assist from Pantera, who simultaneously delivers a clothesline! The count. ONE! TWO! NO! Reiger gets the shoulder up. The CAA tag following a snap suplex and Pantera drops a big elbow. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Pantera looks to ram Reiger into the buckle, but Reiger puts on the brakes and Pantera crashes in. Reiger proceeds to unload in the corner, which includes choking Pantera with the draw string of his shorts! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! Luckily for Reiger, he disguises the choke well enough to trick the ref into thinking it’s with his hand, not string. CMJ tags in and immediately delivers a series of leg strikes. COLE We knew it was a matter of time before the LDC Moneygang went after the leg they targeted again this past weekend on OAOAST Syndicated. CMJ drapes Pantera’s legs across the middle and drives the knee in repeatedly. But a clubbing blow from Pantera knocks CMJ off his feet. COACH That’s gonna feel like getting hit with a hammer, Cole. Pantera is freakishly strong. Pantera hobbles towards his corner only to be taken down by CMJ, who then slams Pantera’s leg into the mat. CMJ attempts a single-leg crab, but again Pantera strikes him hard, which leads to a CAA tag. And Strutter enters a house afire. He whips CMJ into the ropes and makes the cover following a POWERSLAM! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Strutter plants CMJ mid-ring with a FALLAWAY SLAM, and then delivers a TOP ROPE FLYING ELBOW! The cover. ONE! TWO! THR-- NO! Strutter moves and Reiger knee drops his partner! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COLE No love for CMJ in New York. Strutter brings CMJ and Reiger together for an impromptu meeting of the minds, knocking Reiger out to the floor where Lorelei pleads with him to get back in, no doubt feeling the tag titles slipping away. On the other side, Lindsay Gonzalez takes joy in Lorelei’s discomfort. But it’s Strutter who feels the pain after CMJ reverses a whip and Reiger knees him in the back. Strutter falls into the clutches of CMJ and a T-BONE SUPLEX! COACH Harvardplex! Reiger gets the tag and attempts a slingshot double stomp, but Strutter puts the hands up and dumps him outside! COLE Boy did that backfire. Strutter pops to his feet and wipes Reiger out with a SUICIDE DIVE! Reiger is thrown back in and drilled by a MISSLE DROPKICK! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Pantera tags in and gorilla press slams Reiger, who then lures the strongman into false sense of security by calling for time, only to grab the tights and fling Pantera face-first into top turnbuckle! Pantera falls to the seat of his pants and Reiger follows up with a running knee to the face! COACH Blood is the New Black! COLE Could this be it? Reiger drags Pantera away from the corner and covers him. ONE! TWO! NO! Reiger gives Pantera a mock round of applause and then sets for a suplex, but Pantera blocks it and delivers one himself! Reiger quickly tags out and CMJ stuns Pantera stun with another round of leg strikes. Irish uppercuts follow, but Pantera reverses a whip and places CMJ in a BEARHUG on the rebound! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Lorelei hears it as she hops on the apron to grab the referee‘s attention, but it also attracts Lindsay and the MSG faithful go crazy in anticipation of a cat fight. Charles Robinson plays peacemaker as Reiger leaps off the top in a blindside attack, but Pantera turns and CMJ is the one nailed by a double axe handle! Pantera then puts both LDCMG members in a bear hug! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COLE What strength exhibited by Ken Pantera! CMJ and Reiger thumb Pantera in the eyes to break free. Then they try to whip him across, but Pantera pulls them both in for a clothesline! COACH This homecoming is turning into a nightmare for the LDC Moneygang, Cole. Pantera fires CMJ in for a POWERSLAM! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Pantera executes a double underhook stall suplex and looks to follow with a knee drop, but CMJ moves and the strongman jams the knee into the canvas. And like a shark smelling blood, CMJ jumps on Pantera. He drags him to the corner and BASHES the leg against the RINGPOST! Again. And again. Pantera tries to crawl away only to have his foot grabbed by CMJ. The LDCMG tag and Reiger delivers his trademark SLINGSHOT DOUBLE STOMP… ONTO THE LEG! LORELEI Looking to weaken the knee further, Reiger applies an INDIAN DEATHLOCK. COLE Spencer Reiger digging deep into his bag of tricks. COACH Yeah. CMJ is the expert of the team at submission holds. Obviously he’s shared his knowledge, as a good partner would. COLE You’ve never shared anything with me. COACH We could resurrect Einstein and have him teach you everything he knows and you’d still be worthless! COLE The legs still death locked, Reiger brides back to place Pantera in a reverse chinlock, which proves to be a mistake as Pantera easily breaks the grip. But rather than panic Reiger delivers a measured knee drop and makes the cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Standing dropkick knocks Pantera outside, where CMJ gives him a STUN GUN ON THE GUARDRAIL while the ref and Strutter are distracted by Reiger. COLE Cambridge Curse on the guardrail! Oh my! COACH I wouldn’t be surprised if Ken Pantera is out cold, Cole. CMJ rolls Pantera back in and Reiger makes a nonchalant cover. ONE! TWO! THR-- KICKOUT! Reiger flips his lid and berates the referee over a supposed slow count. The ref shoots back and Reiger drops his claim. CMJ tags in and shoves Pantera into the corner for a combination of Irish uppercuts, knife-edge chops and leg strikes. Pantera returns fire and nearly escapes the LDCMG corner, but CMJ trips him up and the LDCMG debut a new double-team move: a HIGH-LIFTING GERMAN SUPLEX/INVERTED TOP ROPE BULLDOG!! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” The count. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY STRUTTER! Reiger and Strutter exchange words as CMJ slaps on THE FIGURE-4 on Pantera! “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Right in Pantera’s face, referee Charles Robinson doesn’t see Reiger stick his feet through the ropes to push down on CMJ for additional leverage. COLE Turn around, ref! Of course Reiger is far away by the time Robinson does indeed look behind. Reiger sneaks the feet back in the second Robinson shifts his attention back to Pantera. That brings in Strutter who’s quickly restrained. COACH That’s a rookie mistake from a veteran like Felix Strutter. He’s letting his emotion get the better of him right now. COLE It’s certainly understandable given the stakes involved: the One & Only World tag team championship. Order restored, Reiger again sticks his feet through the ropes and this time Strutter gets past the ref. COACH Uh-oh. Reiger’s in big trouble here. Strutter knees CMJ upside the head and turns Reiger, who’s straddling the middle rope, into a human seesaw by slapping his legs down after every blow to get another one in! COLE New York’s Finest may be New York’s ugliest by the time Felix Strutter gets done with him. CMJ waistlocks Strutter from behind but eats an elbow, then stumbles into Pantera and a TRAPPED ARM BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Physically exhausted, Pantera uses the ropes to pull himself up, but Reiger runs down the apron and nails him with an ENZIGURI! CMJ makes the cover. ONE! TWO! THR-- NO! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Where did Pantera find the strength to kick out, Cole? COLE I don’t know, but the crowd sure appreciates the heart and determination of Ken Pantera. And who thought we’d be saying that? Reiger tags in and delivers a MOONSAULT… BUT PANTERA GETS THE KNEES UP!! REIGER COLE That expression says it all. COACH Yeah, but it hurt Pantera just as much since he used his knees. Pantera crawls to his corner as Reiger tags out. CMJ rushes in and grabs the leg, but Pantera turns on his back and kicks CMJ off with his good leg, then tags Strutter! COLE Ohhhhh my! Strutter blocks a right and unloads. He whips CMJ in for a BAAAAAACK body drop and follows up with a DOUBLE-ARM DDT! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Strutter attempts a NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX, but CMJ drops down and tries to apply THE BOSTON STRANGLER. Strutter counters out into a hammerlock and then executes a TIGER SUPLEX!! ONE! TWO! THR-- NO!! REIGER MAKES THE SAVE! COLE The Can-Am Assassins a half a count away from becoming the tag team champions. The LDCMG pummel Strutter and then whip him in for a double clothesline. Unbeknownst to them, however, a blind tag by Pantera. COACH The champs are going for the Spike Reiger Counter not realizing a tag’s been made, Cole. Pantera gives them the message, clubbing Reiger across the back and slamming CMJ off the middle rope. Strutter dropkicks Reiger outside and takes him down with a slingshot cross body as CMJ is placed in THE FULL NELSON! COLE Are we gonna see new champions? As Reiger and Strutter brawl on the floor, Lorelei climbs on the apron and again is met by Lindsay. The two argue before Lorelei fires the first shot, A SLAP TO THE FACE! LINDSAY COACH Forget about it, Lindsay. I say kiss and make up. Lindsay retaliates and Lorelei desperately seeks shelter inside, but Charles Robinson keeps her from entering. Suddenly there’s a commotion in the crowd, the result of THEODORE MONEYMAKER running into the ring and CLIPPING THE KNEE OF PANTERA! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Hey, it’s Teddy. COLE Where the hell has he been?!? Moneymaker flees like a thief in the night while Pantera gets himself trapped in THE BOSTON STRANGLER! COLE Don’t tell me it’s gonna end like this. Pantera refuses to tap despite being choked out. Meanwhile, Reiger shoves Strutter into the ring post and comes to Lorelei’s aid. With Pantera unresponsive referee Charles Robinson has no choice but to call for the bell. * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER And their opponents, accompanied by LORELEI DECENZO… at a total combine weight of 420 pounds, THE ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS… COLIN MAGUIRE, JR., SPENCER REIGER… THE LDC MMMOOOONNEYGANG!! “The World is Mine” plays as Moneymaker awards the titles to the LDC Moneygang. COLE Whether you like him or hate him, you gotta admire the guts of Ken Pantera. He never quit, he passed out from the pain. COACH There’s no denying the toughness of strongman Ken Pantera, but when people look in the record books it’s gonna show the LDC Moneygang as winners. Though the match is over, the humiliation is not. Lorelei produces a pair of CLIPPERS and Axe shampoo. COLE Oh, come on. Is this really necessary? You’ve won the damn match. Lorelei begins to rather Pantera’s hair when MARV and MEL, THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESS chase Moneymaker and company away. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" A staredown ensues between the champs and CAE. COACH What are these idiots doing interfering in other people’s business? COLE To prevent a disgusting act from taking place. COACH Geez, Cole, they were gonna shave Pantera bald, not sodomize him. Maybe if they had been Los Diablos de Fuego. COLE There's a lovely image. Uh, I mean disgusting thought! NERDLY SPECTACULAR Younger Sexier Nerdlier February 25th, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

The OAOAST Asks the OAOAST Galaxy: Who will win the 2010 Lethal Rumble We cut to earlier footage outside Madison Square Garden where numerous fans are lined up to give their opinion on the 30 man battle roayl.... MALE FAN Its gonna be Christian Wright because he has the best draw in the rumble! FEMALE FAN I think Baron Windells will win because he’s awesome! MALE FAN 2 The Human Hard On Mister Dick is gonna pull out a miracle! MALE FAN 3 Landon Maddix always has a plan so I think he’s going to win. FEMALE FAN 2 Bohemoth has got momentum and stuff, I think he might win. MALE FAN 4 Faqu! Faqu! Faqu! Faqu! FEMALE FAN 3 I think Zack Malibu will be a surprise entrant and win the whole thing! THE GALAXY SPEAKS!

extra space for world title match

(I'm revolutionizing the game with this match on first!) The New York crowd was largely on the side of the hometown challenger, Reject, creating a Bizarro World-type crowd reaction. Alf controlled the early stages of the first fall with mat wrestling, but Reject was ultimately able to turn the tide on the outside, sending Alf into the steel stairs. Reject went through his offense in the ring, scoring several near-falls. However, Alf was able to turn the tide with a AA spinebuster, leaving both men laying on the mat. Both men pulled their way to their feet, where Alf won a slugfest, then delivered an overhead belly-to-belly and a T-Bone. Reject tried to escape to the outside as Alf grabbed his foot, and came up with a steel chair as the referee backed Alf away. Reject grabbed the chair, and slammed it into Alf's ankle from behind, earning a DQ for the first fall! Alfdogg wins first fall (normal match) by DQ Reject fell down a fall by DQ, but Alf seemed easy prey for the second fall, a submission match, with his now-injured ankle. Reject worked over the ankle relentlessly, then hooks Alf's own Sharpshooter to the cheers of his home fans. Alf, after an intense struggle, manages to somehow reverse the hold into his own Sharpshooter! However, Reject easily makes the ropes with Alf's weakened state. Action spills to the outside, where Reject grabs the chair again, but Alf executes a drop toe-hold, sending Reject into the chair on the floor! Alf then pulls himself to his feet, and grabs the chair, cracking Reject over the skull! Reject rolls onto the announce table, which Alf pulls apart, then climbs on and gets Reject in a standing headscissors. Reject drops to one knee and delivers a low blow, then sets up a suplex, but Alf escapes, and drops Reject through the table with his own Eulogy! Both men lay motionless in the wreckage, then make their way back into the ring slowly. Both men trade moves briefly, until Reject eventually counters an Alf tombstone into one of his own, then locks in the R-Lock! Alf attempts to reach the ropes, but Reject pulls him to the center, then drops down and grapevines him, and Alf taps out to even the score! Reject wins second fall (submission match) Reject goes outside and grabs the ladder from the aisle, and immediately begins a climb. Alf recovers just in time to shove the ladder over, hanging Reject over the top rope at the waist. Alf crawls over and shoves Reject over to the floor, then pulls himself, on one ankle, up the ladder. Reject gets back in, and pulls his good foot out from under him, causing him to fall back to the mat. The two go through several sequences with the ladder, using it as a weapon, and executing high risk moves off of it. Alf finally gets to the top of the ladder, but opts to deliver a five-star Alf splash onto Reject from it instead of grabbing the belt, then goes to the outside and grabs a table. He sets it up, at which point Sandman runs in and hammers on Alf. Alf eventually manages to suplex Sandman to the floor, then begins to climb the ladder, until TK slides in in the corner, then uses the chair as a stepping stone to spear Alf off the ladder through the table! That was finally all Alf could take, as Reject was able to come to, climb the ladder, and grab his second OAOAST World title! TK and Sandman carry the bloodied Reject to the back, through the roars of his native town. Reject wins third fall (ladder match) Winner and NEW OAOAST World champion: Reject

If you're wondering the set is just giant replica of time square

I CAN FEEL IT COMING IN THE AIR TONIGHT! The epitome of male chauvinism, Detective Bosley steps through the HeldDOWN~! entrance doors. A cigarette hangs from his mouth, as he observes the audience with cool disdain behind thick sunglasses. He wears off white pants, and a black blazer that makes his shoulders look like twin mountains. Smirking to himself, he begins gliding down the entrance ramp. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen it is time for the United States Championship title bout! Now making his way to the ring, from New York City, he weighes in at two hundred sixty five pounds, he is the ALPHA MALE OF THE GROUP DETECTIVE TANGOOOO BOOSSSSLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! Bosley’s name is met with boos and thumbs down from many an audience member. He ignores these catcalls and instead runs the ropes to warm himself up for the title bout. COLE Bosley won a battle royal to earn this title shot on Syndicated, we’ll see if he can be as lucky in the Lethal Rumble on Sunday Night from his town New York City. Cue: "David Guetta ft. Akon-Sexy Bitch "She's nothing like a girl you've ever seen before Nothing you can compare to your neighbourhood hoe I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful The way that booty movin I can't take no more Have to stop what i'm doin so I can pull up close I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful" A huge ovation spreads through the stands, as the famillar bar scene slides onto the stage. Stretched across the counter top in heavenly splendor is Alix Maria Spezia; her firm cheeks showed off in sexy white booty shorts, and her ample chest bursting through a furry white bikini top. Alix finally leaps off the bar and blows a kiss to the camera. The home viewers witness super imposed red lips popping up on screen. BUFFER And the champion! She is a four time tag team champion, a two time 24/7 champion, and a winner of no less than twenty seven Angle Awards, and the current United States Champion, she is the Princess of Los Angeles, The Hollywood Bad Girl…..ALIX MARIAAAAA SPEEEZZZZZIAAAAAAA Another large pop erupts from the stands as Alix makes her down the ramp, slapping hands with her loyal fans. COLE Chicks Over Dicks may be entered into the Anderson Cup, but that hasn’t stopped Alix from defending her United States Title. Tonight she meets one of the meanest, cruelest people you can ever know, Detective Tango Bosley. Alix trots up the ring steps, leading her to leap onto the second rope. From there she flashes the peace sign to the roaring audience members. COLE Should be an interesting battle with Bosley gunning for his first singles title in the OAOAST. DING DING DING ALIX Alright! Cartwheel time! Much to the confusion of everyone present, Alix begins carwheeling around the ring. Bosley makes an effort to capture the elusive champion, but fails horribly. Visibly frustrated he turns towards the referee. BOSLEY Make her stop! The referee tries to communicate with Alix, but the brunette babe is too busy wheeling around the ring. BOSLEY I said make her stop, you stupid referee! What the hell is your name? ALIX (stopping cartwheels) His name is BJ, and he just looooooves to give it. The poor referee blushes, and shrieks away when Bosley shoots him a nasty glare. Taking away his attention from the referee he steps towards Alix for a lock up. The hold only lasts for a short second, before Bosley grabs onto her brown locks and throws her head against the turnbuckles. She stumbles away, but Bosley rushes her and lays her out with a shoulder tackle. He pounds his fits in triumph, savoring his harsh move. Next, he picks her up by the back of her tube top, and attempts to slam her pretty face into the ringposts. But the Princess of Los Angeles, puts her snowboot onto the bottom rope and blocks the attack! She then whirls around and begins lighting up Bosley’s chest with brutal knife edge chops. Alix cuts the chopping to an end, and backs herself to the ropes. She rushes back only to find Bosley has bent over. ALIX Ummm…..what are you doing, dude? BOSLEY What the hell do you think I’m doing? Leapfrog me, you stupid bitch! ALIX Leapfrog? I love leapfrog! Alix leapfrogs Bosley, and promptly invites the referee to leapfrog her. She then leapfrogs him…and connects with a lariat to the challenger’s chest! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” the fans scream as Alix attempts a pinfall….. ONE! TWO! Bosley throws Alix off his body! ALIX (flying backwards) Wheeeeeee! Again! Again! Alix pins Bosley once more…. ONE! TWO! Bosley throws her off him once more. ALIX Wheeeeeee! Fun! Again! Again! Bosley gruffly asserts his refusal and makes a hasty return to his feet. He swings an elbow at the champion, but she slides beneath it and runs to the ropes. She leaps onto the second cable and spring boards back with an axe handle. But Bosley flashes his foot forward and stabs her in the gut. He then grabs onto the seat of her booty shorts and throws her beneath the first rope and out onto the ringside area. Alix lands near the guardrail, and immediately begins chastising herself. FRONT ROW FAN Hey, don’t come down on yourself! ALIX Come down on myself? Wow, if I could do that, I wouldn’t need Krista! Pepped up by the thought of going down on herself, Alix hastily rushes to the ring apron! Spotting her arrival is Bosley, and the former NYPD officer takes aim with a polish hammer. But Alix lowers her body and strikes him in the gut. This doubles up Bosley and allows the bubbly babe to sling shot herself over the ropes and bring down her challenger with an X-factor! Alix then falls atop Bosley for a pinfall… ONE! Bosley gives a fast kickout. Leaving Bosley to work his way back upright, Alix takes to the ropes. When she returns she leaps forward with arms raised. But Bosley rips her out the skies with a devastating lariat! Alix quickly tumbles downward, eliciting groans from the sold out audience. COLE Excellent speed by Bosley to catch perhaps the fastest performer in the OAOAST. Bosley scrapes Alix off the canvas, and situates her against his shoulders. He then lifts her up and drives her backwards into the canvas with a back suplex. A pinfall is then made…. ONE! TWO! Alix kicksout, bringing delight and relief to the OAOAST Galaxy. COACH Damn, you ain’t gonna be able to beat her with a back drop. Bosley has got to step up his game. Angered over the failed pin, Bosley violently rams his boot into the top of Alix’s head. He then hauls her upright, only to level her back down with a short arm lariat. As she clutches her aching head, he circles around to proudly admire his sinister handiwork. “BOOOOOOOOOOO!” Grabbing Alix by the ribbons in her hair,the ex-cop yanks her away from the canvas. Continuing his churlish ways, Bosley rips out several of the ribbons in her hair and laughes wildly as he does so. COLE What a despicable human being he is! COACH He’s the Alpha Male Of the Group, sometimes you gotta put the alpha females in their place. Alix gets to her feet and begins trading shots with Bosley. It’s a battle she has no hope of winning though as the AMOG headbutts her to the ground. “LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX!” the fans bleat as Bosley begins picking her back up. The support of the audience provides Alix considerable strength. This allows her to shove several of her ribbons into his mouth! “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” With a mouth full of ribbons, Bosley is struck by a dropsault! He goes teetering backwards, dizzied and dazed from the attack. This causes Alix to make a beeline for the ropes. But as she returns Bosley counters by flipping her backwards with a back body drop. Alix crashes into the mat with booming thud, instantly causing her aggravating pain. BOSLEY Bolsey, bitches! Yeah! “BOSLEY’S A PUSSY! BOSLEY’S A PUSSY! BOSLEY’S A PUSSY!” BOSLEY Shut it, retards! COLE Bosley has got to worry more about Alix, then what the OAOAST Galaxy has to say about him. Still chewing out the audience for their cruel words, the detective hooks onto Alix’s bare legs for a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Alix flings her shoulder off the canvas, which brings smiles to the faces of the audience. Bosley, is of course, not smiling. With a frustrated expression, he clamps his arm beneath her head for an inverted chinlock. BOSLEY Ask her! Ask her if she quits! Hurry up and ask, bitch! The answer is a firm and resilient no. The fans applaud Alix’s staunch refusal to submit to the hold. BOSLEY No one beats the Alpha Male of the Group! He can’t be stopped! Bosley wrenches at Alix’s neck, sending pain shooting across her upper body. The New York native, continues to bark at her, only causing her greater frustration. The fans, however, are solidly behind the Hollywood Bad Girl, and she’s uses their support to find the strength to power to her feet. Bosley remains ever vigilant in his hold, now forced to wrap his arms her collarbone. ALIX (pointing to above her head) A light bulb! Its hanging over my head! Can’t you see it? BOSLEY Shut up! ALIX Shut up and do this? Alix leaps up, and wraps her tanned legs around Bosley’s body. To his and the audiences immense pleasure, Alix begins wiggling her body against Bosley’s, and thrusting into him proactively BOLSEY ALIX Gotcha! Bosley’s grip loosens and Alix is a free woman. She puts this new found freedom to use with several elbows into Bosley’s throat. Wheezing he tries to shove her away with a winging punch. But Alix lifts her boots onto the second rope to avoid him, and then strikes him down with a springboard spear! Alix whips her head back, showing off her lovely hair, and then smiles at the cheering audience. She then hooks onto both of Bosley’s legs for a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! But Bosley disappoints her and the audience with an unwelcome kickout. Cursing himself over almost being pinned, Bosley rises to his feet. But his arm is seized by Alix, who attempts to whip him into the ropes. But the New Yorker avoids the tactic and instead Alix is thrown into the ropes! On her return, Bosley lashes out with a lariat. But the Hollywood Bad Girl ducks the attack, and continues to the ropes. She takes to the third one, and shouts “WHOOOOOOO!” as she sails back with crossbody block! The two competitors tumble to the ground with Alix landing atop Bosley for a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Bosley makes the kickout. As he struggles towards his vertical base, Alix takes another run of the ropes. But as she returns, Bosley hobbles her with a kick to the shin. This lets Bosley trap her arms within his for the Justifiable Homicide (unprettier). But as he starts to turn her around Alix begins to slide free of his grip. Thus he’s forced to abandon his finisher and instead karate kick her to the ground. He then dives on top of her for a pin…. ONE! TWO! Alix gets a shoulder up! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” The cheers are quitted when Bosley pulls Alix up and shoves her into the corner. He batters her with a few forearm strikes, before irish whipping her across the ring. Snorting like an enraged bull he charges in after her, but Alix jumps onto the third rope and moonsaults herself behind him! The audience cheers her wonderful show of agility. But once again, they’re robbed of their glee as Bosley lays Alix out with a shuffle sidekick. Bosley smiles broadly as he drops down onto her for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Alix once gets her shoulder up, earning numerous applause from the audience. “LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX!” Bosley lays in a few stomps to Alix’s back before ripping her upright. He attempts to fling her into the ropes, but Alix reverses it. Bosley bounces off the ropes arms raised to strike her with an elbow smash. But Alix drops to her stomach, wraps her legs around his ankles and sends him plummeting into the ropes. Bosley lies prone and miserable on the second rope, coughing as the thick material jams into his throat. Alix throws the peace sign to the cheering audience, before making her move to strike. She slides through the ropes and whirls her legs around to strike him with a 619. But Bosley regains his strength and uses that power to grab Alix’s legs and drag her back into the squared circle. COLE Uh-oh, Bosley’s like a shark when it sinks your teeth into you, impossible to escape. BOSLEY You’re screwed now, bitch! ALIX Whoo-hooo, rough sex! Give it to me, daddy! Shocked that his Alpha Male approach actually worked, Bosley is somewhat stunned. This allows Alix to press her boots into his stomach and kick the former NYPD officer away. The hardened cop is thrown into the corner, and slams hard against the turnbuckle posts. The Princess of Los Angeles then zips forward and leaps with her knees to his chest. She monkey flips him towards the center of the ring, but Bosley somewhat manages to land on his feet. Alix is quite frustrated with this and runs after him. But Bosley is aware of her arrival and slams his boot into her pretty face with a savate kick. Bosley crawls on top of her for a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Alix finds the strength needed to kick out! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” Barking at the audience for chanting his rival’s name, Bosley yanks Alix off the canvas. He attempts to bash her in the back with a forearm, but meets with failure as Alix shoves him against the ropes. Bosley hasn’t a chance to free himself, before Alix begins choking him on the ropes. COLE Unusual tactic from Alix! Unusual and illegal, as the referee informs her. Alix pouts for several seconds, until she unearths a “brilliant” plan. Referee and audience alike are delighted to see her rip off her top. As the audience salivates over her impressively sized breasts, clad inside a flimsy leopard print bra, Alix happily begins choking Bosley with her top! Unfortunately for her the referee begrudgingly pulls his eyes away from her chest and informs her she can’t choke him with her shirt either. ALIX What’s that over my head? It’s a lightbulb! Alix begins unhooking her bra, ready to unleash gorgeously shaped breasts to the world all for the sake of choking Bosley. But the referee in a lapse of good judgment informs her that’s illegal as well. “BOOOOOOOO!” the fans jeer as Alix stops unhooking her bra. COACH The stupidest man in the universe now resides in the OAOAST. Free from being choked, Bosley attacks Alix with a series of forearms. This weaken the perky superstar enough that he’s able to hook her arms behind his in setup for the Justifiable Homocide. But Alix easily counters that by driving him downwards in a back slide. The referee counts the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Bosley fights his way out the pin. He quickly picks himself off the canvas, and besieges Alix with a wave of punches. These powerful blows allow him to snag her inside a front facelock. BOSLEY ITS BOSLEY TIME, BITCHES! He lifts Alix into the air for the Arrest & Trial (brain buster)! However, Alix begins squirming in his grip, and throws repeated knees into his head. Bosley can only take so much of this punishment before he’s forced to let her go. BOSLEY YOU’RE DEAD! Bosley swings for the fences with a lunging lariat. However he strikes out in his attempt as Alix grabs onto his arm. She reaches for the other arm, and once she’s secured it she drops down with another backslide pin. The referee hits the mat to score the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Bosley kicks out….BUT HE’S TOO LATE! THREE! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall and still United States Champion…….ALIX MARIA SPEZZZZIAAAAAAAAAA! ALIX WHOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOO! Alix is delirious with glee and rushes to retrieve her US title belt from the time keeper. Excited she dances with the title, an entertaining sight for her legion of cheering fans. COLE Alix Maria Spezia victorious here tonight, but who will be victorious at Anglepalooza in the Lethal Rumble! Find out this Sunday only on pay per view! FADE OUT

-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- We come in from our intro to sofa central where our announce team wears Anglemania baseball jerseys and baseball caps. The height of fashion! COLE Folks welcome to OAOAST HeldDOWN~! We are just days away from Anglepalooza and the Lethal Rumble! There's big matches tonight with Alix defending her US Title against Detective Bosley and an Anderson Cup contest pitting The Heavenly Rockers against Citizen Soldiers. But right now lets kick it off with the tag team champions the LDC Moneygang! We switch or view from sofa central to Michael Buffer standing inside the ring with two young bucks. BUFFER The following tag team event is scheduled for one fall. Currently in the ring, first from South Florida, weighing 225 pounds… DREW MANNING! His tag team partner, 220 pounds… BRETT SANCHEZ! Both guys wave to the crowd in typical jobber fashion. COLE A couple of graduates from OAOVW making their OAOAST debut, but what a challenge they have ahead of them. “The World is Mine” by David Guetta hits and the LDCMG head to the ring flanked by green and gold spotlights. BUFFER And their opponents, accompanied by LORELEI DECENZO… at a total combine weight of 420 pounds, THE ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS… COLIN MAGUIRE, JR., SPENCER REIGER… THE LDC MMMOOOONNEYGANG!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" All business heading into their big title defense Sunday night at Anglepalooza, CMJ and Reiger look to make quick work of their opponents, attacking them immediately. * DINGDINGDING * COACH No doubt the champs are sending a message to the Can-Am Assassins here, Cole. CMJ hammers Manning in the corner with Irish uppercuts as Reiger chops Sanchez. The LDCMG whip their opponents into each other, and then CMJ executes an HARVARDPLEX, with Reiger following up with a SLINGSHOT DOUBLE STOMP! Standing dropkick sends Sanchez into the arms of CMJ for an IRISH SUPLEX! COLE The champs looking awesome. COACH And obviously not working by the hour. They got Brett set for the spike Reiger Counter! Sanchez gets spiked and Reiger makes the cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners, the team of COLIN MAGUIRE, JR. and SPENCER REIGER… THE LDC MMMOOOONNEYGANG!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" CUE: “The World is Mine” Lorelei pulls out the GIANT MONEYBAGS and the LDCMG place their beaten opponents in them. COLE Not this again. It's degrading. COACH But really damn funny. CMJ and Spencer are taking their moneybags to the pay window! CMJ and Reiger slump the bags over their shoulders and head off to the world famous interview stage where Tony Brannigan is position. BRANNIGAN I’m joined now by the reigning tag team champions of the world, Spencer Reiger and Colin Maguire, Jr., accompanied by their manager Lorelei DeCenzo. And guys, you’re just hours away from your first televised title defense against the Can-Am Assassins this Sunday night LIVE exclusively on pay-per-view at Anglepalooza. REIGER New York’s Finest returns home, Brannigan. And unlike another rookie who plays in the Big Apple, you’re looking at not one but two young lions who will come through in the clutch. LORELEI Our bags are packed and my boys are ready, Tony. They dethroned the longest reigning tag champions in OAOAST history, a record they will ultimately break and it starts this Sunday with the Can-Am Assassins. In fact, seeing as how Felix and Kenny will be traveling to Spencer’s hometown for Anglepalooza, I’ve taken the liberty of buying a couple of souvenirs for them. (reaches into purse) For Felix, a DVD of the 1991 film “Jungle Fever” by Spike Lee. Because everybody knows he’s got a bad case for me. And for Ken, Axe anti-dandruff shampoo. Just look at his hair. Clearly he’s suffering from irritation. REIGER/LORELEI CMJ Once the hunters but now the hunted. Friend or foe, it don’t matter who gets in our way. The tag titles aren’t going anywhere but around our waists! “The World is Mine” cues again as the champs exit. COLE The tag titles on the line this Sunday at Anglepalooza! We'll be back with more HeldDOWN~! TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT US TITLE MATCH ALIX MARIA SPEZIA VS DETECTIVE TANGO BOSLEY TONIGHT! COMMERCIAL