Patty O'Green

We find the beautiful and intelligent Molly Nerdly walking down the hallways looking for something interesting to shoot. She finds a subject rather quickly as Rico is standing in front of a doorway. Behind this door a bevy of grunts, shouts and screams fill the air. RICO Yes, yes, there's my favorite senorita. I got the beads if you got the tits. MOLLY Hmmm....perhaps some other time. Might I ask where is all that noise coming from? RICO Scotty and Danny can't figure out who gets to go to the lethal rumble, chica. MOLLY And? RICO And the first person to walk out that room gets in the rumble. MOLLY My oh my. Is the queen aware of this practice? RICO Are ya kidding, chica? If the queen found out she'd have 'em both back on a plane to Scotland and Ireland before you could even fill up your plate with haggis! Bloody, beaten, and bruised Scottish Scott staggers out from the doorway. SCOTT I....guess I'm in. Rico pats Scott on the back as he slumps against the door from the mortal exhaustion. MOLLY (derisive) Boys. Elsewhere backstage, we find Josh Matthews, stood by with some special guests, Cucaracha Internacional. MATTHEWS AnglePalooza is just a couple of days away, which of course means the Lethal Rumble, the once a year extravaganza is on the horizon. And joining me right now are a group with plenty of Lethal Rumble involvement this year, Cucaracha Internacional. Landon smirks and nods, pleased with himself as always. MATTHEWS And my question to you Landon is, for months you've been talking up Cucaracha Internacional as the strongest unit in the OAOAST... but this Sunday, it will be every man for himself. How is that going to affect you going into Sunday? MADDIX Was that the most obvious question you could have asked me, or what? Hurt that his reporting skills have been called into question, Josh frowns. MADDIX You could have seen that question coming from two miles away, it was so obvious. Infact, I was so confident you'd ask me that question, I actually pre-prepared an answer. Yup. Wrote it down last night, ready for this exact moment. Megan, hand me the paper please. MEGAN What paper... MADDIX There is no paper. See, Josh, I was being sarcastic, to make a point. But nevermind that. You want to know how the Lethal Rumble is going to go with Cucaracha Internacional? Every man for himself, only one can win, and so on. Yes, on the face of it, that's going to pose a bit of a problem. See, obviously, I'm in the Lethal Rumble. And as the leader of Cucaracha Internacional, maybe you'd think that I expect to be allowed to win. Where-as, Nathaniel Black is in the Lethal Rumble... Black scowls, his arms folded, not interested in this interview at all. MADDIX And I'm sure if you asked him, he'd tell you that he'd want to win the Lethal Rumble and be the one to go to AngleMania. Or, perhaps Faqu... Looking over at his Samoan Wrecking Ball, Faqu just kinda snorts at Landon. MADDIX ...well, I wouldn't waste your time asking him, but suffice is to say, when Faqu gets into that ring on Sunday, it'll be FAQU SMASH. And it'd be a brave man who tries to tell him he's not going to win. Now... MATTHEWS What about James? MADDIX That's not important. MATTHEWS James, do you not want to win the Lethal Rumble? We pan over to Blonde, who is standing off-screen, pouting. BLONDE I'm... not in the Rumble. Not filled in on that, Josh looks a little embarrassed. An awkward silence fills the air, except for Faqu's heaty breathing. Landon tugs on his collar, awkwardly. MADDIX SO! You're probably thinking, "Gee, that sounds like trouble". Landon wants to win. Black wants to win. Faqu wants to win. But, they can't all win. So something has got to give. You know how we're going to settle it, Josh? MATTHEWS How? MADDIX We're going to let the better man win! That's our plan. MATTHEWS Wait, really!? MADDIX Yes really. Look, no matter what happens in the Rumble, what you see here is a common bond that's too strong to be broken. The 8-Man Tag Team Champions of the world. Four men from four great wrestling countries. We are a team. We are a unit. We are, as you quite rightly said, the strongest unit in the OAOAST. But the Rumble's different. It's one night, one match. It doesn't have to affect anything we're doing or anything we're about. It is what it is! So if Nathaniel happens to be the last man standing at the end of it? Great! I'll be delighted for him... "chuffed", as I think they say in England. And if I win then I know these guys'll be the very first to congratulate me and wish me luck on once again becoming the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, a true international World Champion. But, whatever happens, whether I end up winning or whether something unforeseen happens and Nathaniel or Faqu do instead, it really doesn't matter. We'll settle it right there in the ring, in Madison Square Garden, New York state of mind! That right there is the plan. It's so simple, even an idiot could have formulated it. MEGAN Yup. MADDIX Thank you, Megan. See, with support like that, how could this unit possibly be broken? Rubbing his hands with satisfaction, Landon walks off. Black and Megan exchange one of their "looks" and a shake of their heads at what they have to deal with and they follow, with Blonde kicking up dirt and grumbling to himself at the back of the line.

BUFFER The following contest is a five man, Over The Top Rope Challenge, where the only way to be eliminated is to be thrown over the top rope, with both feet hitting the floor and the last man standing will be declared the winner. Already in the ring, from Chicago, Illinois... DR. MAX ANDERSON and DR. STEVEN PIGLEY... TTHHHEEEE LLLOOOOOOVVEEEEE DDOOOOCCTTOOOOORRRRRSSSS!!! And, from Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, MORACCA and MARIACHI... LOS DDIIIAAAABBLLLOOOOSSS DDEEEEE FFFFUUUUEEEEEEGGOOOOO!!! *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" "Liberate" by Disturbed powers through the arena and the sounds of BOOS greets it, for perhaps the first time ever. Marching through the entrance, Bohemoth holds his head high as he strides towards the ring, eyes locked on the ring rather than the crowd. BUFFER And, finally, from Greenville, South Carolina... he is the 2009 Lethal Rumble winner... BBOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHHEEEEEEMMMMMOOOOOOOOTTHHHHHHH!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE The turncoat, Bohemoth, who a couple of weeks ago was involved in that vicious attack on Zack Malibu here on HeldDOWN~! And still the question remains unanswered, WHY? Why did Bohemoth do what he did to Zack Malibu and apparantly allign himself with our 50% owner Anglesault? Bohemoth jogs up the ring steps and into the ring, with all four of his opponents looking on from the other side of the ring pensively. COACH Well we don't need to ask why this match is happening, do we? COLE No. A little pre-Lethal Rumble "tune-up" for last year's winner, looking to become the first man to repeat as Lethal Rumble winner. Hopping back and forth on his toes Bohemoth limbers up as the boos continue to come his way. *DINGDINGDING* As the bell sounds it's hardly all action, The Love Doctors and Los Diablos all hesitant to jump into the battle. Bohemoth continues hopping back and forth as he roars at them all to "COME ON". Finally The Love Doctors bite the bullet and charge forward, trying to overwhelm Bohemoth two on one. But Bohemoth steps forward and BLASTS them both with a double clothesline! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Bohemoth steps over Max and Stephen's bodies, closing in on Los Diablos. The Mexican homies realise they're in trouble and pounce, leaping at Bohemoth and clinging onto it him in a vain effort to do... something. Perhaps just feel his muscles. COLE Tonight is not the night for Los Diablos' games. Shrugging off Mariachi, Bohemoth peels Moracca from around his leg and picks him up, by the throat, then hurls him over to the mat! Moracca goes spinning off to the side, as his partner tries to defend his honour, but steps into a big boot to the face! "YOU SOLD OUT!" "YOU SOLD OUT!" "YOU SOLD OUT!" "YOU SOLD OUT!" COACH Yeah, but do you think he cares? Pigley makes a move towards Bohemoth but gets caught by the throat. Bohemoth stares into Pigley's eyes for a second, before scooping him up and delivering the SPINEBUSTER~! COLE And Bohemoth is just picking apart these four OAOAST superstars, one by one! Next up is Dr. Anderson, able to get a shot in on Bohemoth. He connects with a couple of right hands, then connects with a spinning backfist, seeming to daze Bohemoth a little. Anderson sees this and quickly hits the ropes. Bohemoth shakes the shot off though and catches Dr. Anderson's attempted clothesline. To Dr. Max's anguish Bohemoth then contorts the arm and wraps the good doctor up for a COBRA CLUTCH BACKBREAKER, sending Dr. Max in search of a chiropractor!! COACH If the idea was to send a message, then... mission accomplished. COLE As if Bohemoth wasn't already one to fear in the Lethal Rumble before! Walking over, Bohemoth picks Dr. Pigley up off the mat. With the most casuality possible, he then chucks him over the top rope, to the outside! COACH There goes one. Bohemoth turns around and grabs Mariachi, who had been laying in the corner. Picked back up, Mariachi is lifted up by Bohemoth, over his head. Bohemoth then takes aim and from the gorilla press THROWS Mariachi, into Moracca, CAUSING BOTH LOS DIABLOS TO GO FLYING OVER THE TOP ROPE IN A HEAP!!!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" COLE OH, MY~! COACH You've gotta be kiddin'! COLE Bohemoth is absolutely DOMINANT. Eyes wide, Bohemoth looks around for his final victim. Dr. Anderson struggles to his feet, nursing his back. By the scruff of the neck he's picked up by Bohemoth, who looks over to the ropes... ....but changes his mind about throwing Anderson out, deciding instead to hit him with another SPINEBUSTER first!!! COLE I think the message is being sent loud and clear, by last year's Lethal Rumble winner. He's out for 2 in a row. COACH And who the hell's gonna stop him? Bohemoth drags Anderson off the mat and completes the inevitable, tossing him over the top to win the match. *DINGDINGDING* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the Over The Tope Rope Challenge... BBOOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHEEEEEEMMMMMOOOOOTTTTHHHHHHHHH!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" COLE Bohemoth with a scary display of authority here tonight. But will he be able to do the same thing that he did tonight to 29 of the OAOAST's finest, in Madison Square Garden? Somehow I doubt it'll be quite so easy this Sunday. COACH Or, it may be as easy as Bohemoth wants to make it. COLE But I still want to know why Bohemoth has turned his back on Zack Malibu and on these OAOAST fans. That's what I want to know. Leaving bodies strewn around ringside, Bohemoth leaves the ring and strides back up the aisle with his message sent, loudly and clearly, to everybody else in the Lethal Rumble.

HEY! WAIT! I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT! Multicolored spotlights explode onto the stage, as Nirvana powers through the speakers. The entrance doors rip apart bringing out first Abdullah and Synth Abdul Jabbar, wearing blue tights with white clouds. Behind them, the dirty dealing couple of Logan Mann and Holly embrace in a fiery and animalistic kiss. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following Anderson Cup first round contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of sixty minutes! Now making their way the ring accompanied by HOLLY… COLONEL ABULLAH NERDLY presents the only rock n' wrestling band that matters... SYNTH ABDUL-JABBAR and LOGAN “MACHO MACHO” MANN… THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY ROCKERS!!! The foursome stride down the entrance ramp with Logan and Holly holding hands, mundane behavior for the R rated couple. Synth and Abdullah take point, spreading the holy word to the non-believers. Upon reaching ringside, Abdullah finds his way to the commentary position. Synth and Logan reach the ring apron and taunt the fans who boo them so harshly. COLE Well, I guess we say welcome to Colonel Abdullah Abir Nerdly. ABDULLAH And I welcome you into my heart full of love and pride for these Heavenly Rockers. COACH The only rock n wrestling band that matters! BUFFER And their opponents…. 3 Doors Down’s ode to the armed forces, Citizen Soldier, replaces Heartshaped Box. Stepping onto stage to a warm reception is Melody Nerdly attired in ultra-cute daisy dukes and flannel top tied up to her nice chest. She motions out for the big guns, Baron Windells and Tim Cash. The two men pat each other on the back in encouragement for their tough road ahead. Next Melody points to the ring, and leads her charges down the ramp. BUFFER First, from Peoria, Illinois, wrestling’s last real good guy… TIM CCAAAAAASSSSHHHHHH! His tag team partner, hailing from San Antonio, Texas… “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BBAAAAARRRRROOOOOOOOOONN WINDELS! Collectively they are CITIZEN SOOOOLDIERS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE A lot of history between Melody, Baron and The Heavenly Rockers. ABDULLAH History that will one day show the just actions of Synth and Logan! Let it not be forgotten that these men fight for a nobler cause than the banal pursuits of Tim Cash and Baron Windells. In their corner, Cash and Windells discuss strategy. Not exactly a patient person, Mann demands they hurry to start the contest. Cash thanks Logan for his great athletic spirit, but requests more time for planning. Mann can’t and won’t abide by this favor and rushes across the ring to attack Cash. As BW berates Logan for his lack of class, Mann pummels his partner with his lethal left hands. Weakening Cash with those shots, Mann hurls him into the ropes. He lowers his head, expecting Timmy to leapfrog him. But the former EMT surprises him by kicking him in the chest. Mann rockets upwards, clutching his sore pecs. “YEAAAAAAA!” Deciding to let bygones be bygones, Cash offers Mann his hand in friendship. In return Mann offers his spit, chucking it into Cash’s face. Unlike many, who would immediately throw punches at such a gesture, Cash merely wipes his face off. He then happily agrees to a lockup with Mann. The lockup doesn’t last very long before Cash snatches Logan into a side headlock. He wrenches and torques on the hold, causing Logan frustrating pain. Eager to be free of Cash, Mann starts to shove him into the ropes. Cash is able to hold on to the hold for some time, but eventually Mann manages to toss him into the orange ring cables. When he returns, Mann flips him to the canvas with an arm drag. But as he goes to scoop Cash off the mat, the Peoria native kicks him in the face. Mann falls over to the ground, but quickly heads to his feet. Unfortunatley, Cash has done the same thing and easily flips him with a sitout hip toss. COLE They say nice guy’s finish last, but Cash is finishing first in the race out the gate. Continuing to show the class that makes him a beloved superstar, Cash offers Mann a helping hand to get to his feet. Visibly annoyed, Logan takes this offer. However, midway up he slugs Cash in the stomach with a left hand. COLE Oh come on! You can approve of that Abdullah? ABDULLAH We are all one under god’s umbrella. COLE That didn’t answer my question. Logan slaps Cash around, taunting him with cruel words. Next he leaps into the air for a dropkick. But Cash catches onto his legs and slams the rock n wrestling legend to the ground! As Logan grimaces in pain, Cash bridges backwards and slings him to the CS corner. There BW waits for Logan, and strikes him with an elbow as he arrives! Logan falls back to the canvas, where he holds his hands against his throbbing head. “Come on, Logan, you can do (beep) than that (beep)!” Holly shouts from the outside. COACH Imagine what she sounds like in bed! A tag is applied to The Lonestar Gunslinger. His entrance is greeted with a scream of glee from DA LADIES~! Mann is decidedly less pleased than the female fans, especially when BW hooks him into a front facelock. BW then grabs onto his leather pants and foists the MACHO Macho Mann into the air. He delays for sometime, and points a finger at Synth to warn him he’s next. As the goggle wearing superstar enters the ring, BW throws his partner backwards with the vertical suplex! Both Melody and the sold out audience reward BW with a large cheer. COLE Scary power! Scary power from The Lonestar Gunslinger. ABDULLAH Children of the demon are often born with superior strength, but it is the shining light of goodness in Logan’s soul that will prevail. BW scrapes Logan off the canvas by his fluffy afro. He then launches Mann across the ring, throwing him into a neutral corner. Logan hits with such impact and force that he tumbles to the ground. His hands find his sore back, as BW hops to his feet. Windells walks over to his position, and guides him off the canvas. He shoves Mann into the corner, and promptly batters him with an array of elbow strikes. Mann tries to cover up, but that does little to stop the blows from hurting most painfully. Windells brings the strikes to an abrupt end. But he does this only so that he may whip Mann across the ring to the opposite corner. Windells gives a fast chase, rushing after Logan the moment he hits the ring posts. But Mann lifts up his feet and wards off BW with his raised boots. Windells stumbles away, his face throbbing from the unexpected attack. Behind him, Mann elevates himself onto the second. turnbuckle. COLE Mann is cooking up something! Logan raises his arms and springs forward with an axe handle smash. But BW is well recovered and intercepts his descent with a boot to the midsection. This hobbles Logan, leaving him doubled over and easily sucked into BW’s front facelock. The handsome cowboy signals for the Brigham Young Cocktail (leaping DDT), which draws a cheer from the rafters. But he never gets a chance to execute that move, as Synth leans into the ring to headbutt him in the nose! Windells topples to the canavs, as small drops of blood creep from his nose. COLE It is remarkable to me that Synth is allowed to wear snowboarding goggles into the ring. He isn’t Shaun White, this isn’t the X games. An Anderson Cup match could be decided by his goggles. ABDULLAH Brother Michael , do not speak that of which you have little understanding. The goggles are sanctioned under the athletic commission of every state in this fine country. Mann makes a tag to Synth, who’s eager to follow up his assault on BW. He hounds BW across the canvas, and finally brings him upright by the back of his tights. A front facelock finds its way around BW’s head. Synth then lifts him into a vertical suplex, delaying the hold so as to deliver a dose of revenge to BW. Mann loves every second of the delayed suplex, and stands on the top rope taunting Windells. Then to his incredible glee, Synth falls backwards to complete the vertical suplex. Synth then hooks the leg for an important pinfall…. ONE! TWO! BW kicks out, letting Cash breathe a sigh of relief. Less pleased is Synth, who sits BW up and batters the side of his head with forearms. The pain is incredible, and it only continues as Synth locks him down with a reverse chinlock. Cash immediately takes to the task of rallying his partner, and the capacity crowd joins in on the effort. “Shut up you (beep) stupid (beep)!” Holly shrieks from the outside. Holly’s demand only serves to make the audience cheer louder. Its with their strength that Windells is able to find his way upright. But this does him little good as Abdul-Jabbar lifts him into an atomic drop! Windells staggers forward, and finds himself easily shoved into The Rocker’s corner by Synth. There the Vegas native begins ramming his shoulder into Windells’ six packed stomach. Once those attacks are concluded, he switches to peppering BW with closed fists. The ref promptly admonishes Synth for the illegal strikes. But this does BW no good, as Mann is now able to gouge at his eyes from the apron. COLE Now defend that, your “holiness”! COACH All deeds done in the name of God are deeds done well. The crowd gets a reason to cheer as BW begins fighting back against both Heavenly Rockers. But he can only land so many punches, before Synth trips him up with a drop toe hold. COACH Smart move there by Synth. COLE Oh, you’re still here? COACH I was silent out of respect to his holiness. Maybe you oughta do the same, pud puller. Locking Windells down with a grip on his leg, Synth reaches backwards to apply the tag with Logan. As the fans boo Mann’s entry into the contest, he runs off the opposite ropes. He comes back with his left arm angled for BW’s face. But The Gunslinger counters by lunging forward and taking him down with a lariat! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” The excitement is contagious, causing Cash to stand atop the second rope and cheer on his resurgent partner. ABDULLAH In the name of God, the beneficent, the merciful. Praise be to the Lord of the Universe who will see these Heavenly Rockers to victory. The tension rises as now both Windells and Mann must make much needed tags with their partners. Each performs the slow and arduous crawl to their corners , the crowd cheering on BW and only Holly singing the praises for Mann. COACH Its neck and neck! Windells wins the tight race with a lunging tag to The Ultimate Good Guy! “YEAAAAAAA!” the fans shout as Cash makes his appearance in the ring. Forced to fight off Cash before he can make a tag, Mann begins throwing his wicked left hooks. But Cash bobs and weaves, causing Logan to miss entirely. “If I could offer you some advice,” Cash kindly says “you want to turn your hips into your punch. Right now you’re turning your back.” “Shut the hell up, asshole!” Mann barks, and then takes off to the ropes. But as he comes back Cash grabs onto his leg and throws him upward with a flap jack! Mann absorbs the painful landing, and hastily returns to his feet. But he’s only caught with a dropkick to the face! Upon landing he makes the terrible mistake of rolling towards a neutral corner in order to catch his breath. This is a folly, as Cash now climbs to the top rope to put Mann in a perilous position. The Peoria native claps to the cheering crowd, and then flies off with an elbow drop! However, Holly pulls Mann out the way and Cash is left to crash into rock solid canvas. COLE A devastating miss by wrestling’s last real good guy. ABDULLAH A deserved punishment for a sinner who wears the false cloak of purity. Mann scrambles on top of Cash for a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Cash pops his shoulder off the canvas, giving the fans a reason to celebrate. Mann grumbles to himself about the failed count, as he pulls Cash off the canvas and guides him to the Rockers corner. He slams Cash’s face into the ring posts and then applies the tag to Synth. The spiritual disciple enters the ring and tags his foe with a pair of elbow strikes. These seem to wake Cash up rather than hurt him, and to Synth’s surprise his chest is assailed by knife edge chops. Cash calls a quick end to the chops, and then attempts to whip Synth into a neutral corner. But Synth avoids the move, by reversing the hold and nailing Cash with a short arm neckbreaker! That seems to be enough work for Synth, and he makes a surprising tag to Mann. COACH The Rockers are keeping themselves fresh and fit in this match. Citizen Soldiers both try to be heroes and they stay in the match too long. The hard rocking duo whip Cash into the ropes. When he returns they grab onto his neck and twist him around with a double neckbreaker. With the damage done, a chuckling Abdul-Jabbar exits the ring. This leaves Mann to continue the work on Cash’s neck and tweaks and torques it with a reverse chinlock. Cash grimaces in anguish, but puts forth a valiant effort to fight to his feet. But as soon he stands upright, Mann breaks the hold and begins blasting Cash with his powerful left hand. With Cash staggered, Mann kisses his hand, and then knocks Cash out with a left cross! COLE He got him there! Mann certainly believes so as he attempts pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Cash gets his foot on the ropes. This frustrates Logan enough that he has to tag in Synth, lest he risk exploding into a temper tantrum. Upon entering the ring, Synth immediately locks Cash inside a neck vice. Windells begins rallying the crowd behind his partner, and its only a matter of mere seconds before Cash begins fighting to his feet. “LET’S GO TIMMY! LET’S GO TIMMY! LET’S GO TIMMY!” ABDULLAH Someone cut the tongues of these infiendels, they know not who they cheer! Cash eventually pulls himself upright and begins elbowing at Synth’s paunchy stomach. Winning his freedom from the neck vice, Cash runs into the ropes. But when he reaches Synth he’s struck by a bossman slam! “BOOOOOOOO!” the fans hiss as Synth hooks the legs for the pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Cash makes a kickout, which causes Synth to throw a tantrum that could almost rival his hot head partner. In order to not get kicked out the ring, Synth has to make a tag to Mann. Of course, Logan comes in with some choice words for the referee as he and Synth bring Cash to his feet. They irish whip him to the ropes, and strike him down with double back elbows. Logan then makes the critical pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Cash again finds the will to make the kickout. As the audience cheers him, he begins a slow rise to his feet. But Mann captures him into a side headlock, seeking to hold him down. But Cash puts forth a monumental struggle and begins pushing his way towards Baron. BW sees this and stretches his long arms as long as they can possibly go. But that’s not enough for Cash, and the former EMT is forced to fight back with hard knife-edge chops. The fans grow louder with their cheers as it seems Cash is closer and closer to his goal. But Mann stuns him with a boot to the stomach, and then whirls around for a spinning back fist. But Cash rolls beneath his arms and applies a tag to BW! “YEAAAAAAA!” Forgoing any attention to the rules of the ring, Synth rushes into the ring to intercept BW. Unfortunately his troubles go to waste as he’s turned inside out with a diving lariat! ABDULLAH This is bad, my brothers! This is very bad! BW strikes at Synth with hard right hands, that weaken him enough to be thrown into the ropes. On Synth’s return he ducks a clothesline and continues to the ropes. But when he makes his way back towards BW he’s chucked over head by the Devil’s Addiction (fallaway slam)! BW then rushes towards the apron and punches Logan in the face! This leaves him free to pin Synth… ONE! TWO! ‘ Synth makes the kickout! Back into the ring, is Logan, charging at top speeds. But he’s grabbed by Baron and punished with a lethal spine buster! “YEAAAAAAA!” This might result in a successful pinfall if Holly hadn’t gotten the attention of the referee. Windells decides to aid the referee in doing his job and marches towards his position. But he steps just a wee bit to close to Synth. This is unfortunate as Synth shoves him into the referee! Aghast at being touched by a competitor, the referee turns around in anger. He spots BW first, understandably assuming he’s the culprit. As such he calls for the bell and DQs Citizen Soldiers! COLE I don’t believe it! ABDULLAH Ingenious, my child. Ingenious. The Heavenly Rockers wisely clear out the ring, sparing themselves from a beat down by distressed and enraged Baron Windells. Holly and Abdullah quickly run to catch up with their retreating comrades. COLE Citizen Soldiers got jobbed in every since of the word! COACH The stakes are too high to play by the rules, Mikey. You know that. Go hard or go home! COLE Well, be that as it may, we still have more HeldDOWN tonight, days away from Anglepalooza! TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT UNITED STATES TITLE ALIX MARIA SPEZIA VS DETECTIVE BOSLEY TONIGHT! COMMERCIAL

Returning from break we are back inside the interview lounge Where Tony Brannigan stands with Citizen Soldiers, dressed for ring combat, and Melody Nerdly. TONY BRANNIGAN Hello, OAOAST Galaxy. Tony Brannigan, here in the interview lounge with Citizen Soldiers and their manager Melody Nerdly. You all look very excited about your upcoming Anderson Cup contest against The Heavenly Rockers. MELODY This is exciting! This is the most excited I’ve ever been! Its like buying Mass Effect 2 and finding out the game came with an extra 15000 credits to spend in the game. Finally I can upgrade my Shotgun and waste those Krogan bastards! CASH It is an exciting time for all of us. Baron and I have dreamed of becoming tag team champions and our goal is so close we can almost smell the sweet scent of victory. But, we’re facing a top team in sports entertainment. They’re a strong bunch, and they know how to win. It would be foolish for us to underestimate their talents. Hopefully we’ll come out on top, but if we don’t, we can hold our heads high and honestly say we gave it 110%! TONY Baron Windells? BARON Citizen Soldiers are brave, we’re courageous and we’re heroes. But above all else citizen soldiers are known to hold the line no matter what the cost or what sacrifices must be made to protect what we hold dear. Tony, we hold the line. The treaty of Versailles may have ended World War I but before the ink ever hit that paper citizen soldiers held the line! MELODY Anakin Skywalker may have reunited the force, but Citizen Soldiers held the line! BARON Abraham Lincoln liberated the slaves and reunited the country, but before that citizen soldiers held the line! MELODY James T. Kirk may have saved earth from the rouge Romulan ship from the future, but before that citizen soldiers held the line. BARON World War II may have been won by the atomic bomb, but before that citizen soldiers held the line! Tonight, we may win or we may lose, but we will hold the line! COLE Citizen Soldiers, Heavenly Rockers....its next! COMMERCIAL

OAOAST Syndicated! ~A more conventional format for Syndicated this night as we head into Anglepalooza~ *** US Title Number one contenders battle royal: Detective Bosley Vs MARV Vs Nate Black Vs Jumbo Vs Colombian Heat Vs Danny Boy*** A varied and talented assortment of characters convened in a battle royal to determine who would get a US Title Shot on HeldDOWN~! Jumbo's girth made him a formidable foe as he eliminated Danny Boy in short order. Colombian Heat fell victim to a low blow from Bosley to lead to his elimination. MARV went out third thanks to a timely double team between Black and Bosley. But Bosley soon turned on his short-term partner and tossed him over the ropes. This left behind Bosley and Jumbo. Jumbo was quite a handful for Bosley, nearly eliminating him several times. But eventually Bosley was able to stun Jumbo with the Justifiable Homicide (unprettier) and dump him over the top rope. Winner: Detective Bosley Backstage we found Biff Atlas and Tim Cash discussing their chances of winning the Lethal Rumble Match on Sunday. Poor old Biff, he didn't seem so convident. Tim tried his best to give Biff some confidence and even offered that if they should come down to the final two, he'd throw himself out so that Biff could win. "Really?" asked Biff. "Well... no I just thought that would cheer you up hearing that... I'm nice, but I'm not that nice." replied Cash. As they walked along they happened upon Maggie Nerdly, who was having some problems adjusting an overhead light on her interview set, due to her small stature. Ever the gentleman, Tim reached up and with a little help from Biff, nudged the light into place. Maggie thanked them both and as they went on their way, Biff seemed confused at how pleased that made him feel. Tim remarked that "yeah, there's no nicer feeling than knowing you've helped someone in need". Which, for some reason, Biff seemed to think long and hard about as they continued walking. *** Papa Nerdly's Little Girls (Maggie and Morgan) and Melody Nerdly Vs Lindsay Gonzalez, Lorelei DeCenzo, and Holly*** It was all Melody at the start of the contest, as Lindsay couldn't handle her unorthodox style. Melody got sweet revenge on PRL's ex, leveling her with several video game inspired attacks. Lindsay begged out the match and brought Holly into it. Morgan and Holly went at it once again, with Morgan taking the upper hand. Lorlei fared no better against her ex-best friend and took quite a thrashing from the women's champion. But the evil group of three was eventually able to isolate Maggie and do considerable damage. They focused on her leg, causing her intense pain and anguish. But Maggie somehow gathered her strength to make a hot tag with Melody! All hell broke loose as the gorgeous ladies of the OAOAST went at it. Dives and brawling took Holly, Lorelei, Maggie and Morgan to the outside leaving Melody with Lindsay. Melody thought valiantly, but didn't find the same luck she had earlier against Lindsay. For that she was rolled up into a winning pinfall by Lindsay. Winner: Lindsay Gonzalez, Lorelei DeCenzo, and Holly. Coming back from break we found Morgan cornered by the Can Am Assassins and Lindsay Gonzalez. The CAA were wielding pipes, and were merely waiting on Lindsay’s word to unleash their weapons. Thankfully helped arrived for Morgan in the form of The LDC Moneygang who chased CAA off. Reiger, disgusted that he performed a good deed, announced he needed a shower to wash off the stench of goodliness. ***Lethal Rumble Qualifying Match*** Vinny Valentine vs Deuce Deuce Bigelow Deuce started off fast, hammering Vinny with clubbing forearms and flattening him with various power moves. Deuce dominated the whole match and looked well on his way to an appearance in the Rumble, until the Burrough Boys hit the ring. Deuce fought them all off, as Vinny pulled a chain out of his tights. He took a swing from the apron, but Deuce ducked, and attempted to suplex Vinny back in. However, Vinny popped him with the chain on the way over, landing on top and earning a trip to the Lethal Rumble. WINNER: Vinny Valentine Tony Brannigan conducted an interview with The Heavenly Rockers aboard their tourbus. As the bus rolled through the town, The Rockers twent on to put down their AC opponents Citizen Soldiers as well as Team Heyross. Brannigan accused Logan and crew of underestimating the talents of both teams. Holly churlishly informed Brannigan that there exists no team more talented then The Rockers. Brannigan disputed this claim, which led to him being kicked off the bus and left on the street! Alfdogg & Denzel Spencer vs Thunderkid & Reject Alf and Denzel were able to control the former tag team champions at the start, surprisingly, but Denzel was blindsided from the apron by Reject, allowing Thunderkid to take control with power moves. For the next several minutes, TK and Reject controlled Denzel, showing why they held two tag titles together with various double team moves. Denzel was finally able to tag in Alf after a miscue, and Alf cleaned house on both guys. All four men got into a brawl eventually, with TK and Denzel spilling to the floor. Reject went up to the top rope, but Alf tripped him up, and hit him with a top rope superplex. He covered, but the referee was distracted by TK and Denzel, allowing Mr. Dick to slide in and break the count, hitting Alf with the belt. MD holds the belt in Alf's face and taunts him, letting him know that it will be his after he wins the Lethal Rumble. He then exits and Reject covers, but only gets two. MD hops onto the apron and argues with the referee, as Reject sizes up Alf for the Eulogy. MD then talks trash to the fans, as Alf blocks the Eulogy, and shoves Reject into MD from behind! Reject then staggers into Alf, who trips him up and locks him in the Sharpshooter, which after a brief struggle from Reject, gets his team the win. WINNERS: Alfdogg & Denzel Spencer

Anderson Cup first round Citizen Soldiers Vs The Heavenly Rockers

Papa Nerdly's little girls (Maggie and Morgan) and Melody Nerdly Vs Lindsay Gonzalez, Lorelei DeCenzo, and Holly

Who's up for some low budget syndicated television? I'll write something if you write something.

There's Alf! US Title Number one contenders battle royal: Detective Bosley Vs MARV Vs Nate Black Vs Jumbo Vs Colombian Heat Vs Danny Boy-pending approval from said character owners.

***US Title*** ???Vs Alix Remember this is the last show before AP. Anyone know what happened to Alf?

-OAOAST Women's Title- Morgan Nerdly Vs Lindsay Gonzalez

negative 20 participation points

"Oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone And oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone, dead and gone..." The opening to "Dead And Gone" by T.I. fades into "Numb" by Linkin Park, creating a dark mood over the arena. Boos ring out as Leon Rodez skulks through the entrance way. Head down, a scowl on his face, Leon stops on the stage for a second as he glances up from his sorrowful state to look at the crowd. The sea of down-turned thumbs and up-turned middle fingers that greet him only make Leon look even more disgusted. COLE Another frosty welcome for 2009's most hated OAOAST personality. Followed out timidly by Morgan Nerdly, Leon and his lone friend in life slowly make their way down the aisle as the song meanders along. Coming to a stop in the middle of the aisle, Leon then looks up, Morgan falling to a knee beside him, as the song suddenly erupts and the lights flash back and forth from purple to white static. "I'VE BECOME SO NUMB I CAN'T FEEL YOU THERE BECOME SO TIRED SO MUCH MORE AWARE! I'M BECOMING THIS ALL I WANT TO DO IS BE MORE LIKE ME AND BE LESS LIKE YOU!" Leon shakes his head as he moves on to ringside, climbing up the ring steps and entering the ring. BUFFER The following contest is a Lethal Rumble Qualifying Match, set for one fall. Introducing first. Accompanied to the ring by the OAOAST Women's Champion, MORGAN NERDLY! From Grand Rapids, Michigan... he weighs two hundred, eighteen pounds... "THE FALLEN IDOL" of the OAOAST... LLLEEEEEOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRROOOOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZ!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Tonight is do or die for Leon Rodez. For months he has moaned and complained, campaigning for another shot at the OAOAST World Championship and finally a concession has been made by Josie Baker. He can enter the Lethal Rumble at Anglepalooza, with the chance at a World Title shot at AngleMania on the line for the winner... if he can win this qualifying match here tonight. And we still don't know who Leon's opponent is actually going to be tonight. COACH That's a hell of a 'concession'. Another one of these 'surprises', like last week, when James Blonde and Faqu weren't allowed to know their opponents. Which was funny since it ended up being Chicks Over Dicks. Who hate Leon. Favouritism much? Women ganging up on guys? Reverse sexism? Yeah, all of that goin' on up in here. Standing in the middle of the ring Leon looks around the sold-out crowd in Winnipeg, scowl etched on his face as they continue to give him a hard time. Morgan stands sadly by the ropes. BUFFER And introducing, his opponent. "Come on God, Answer Me. For Years, I've Been Asking You Why? Why are the Innocent Dead and the Guilty Alive? Where is Justice? Where is Punishment? . . . . . . . . . . . Or Have You Already Answered? Have You Already Said to the World, Here is Justice. Here is Punishment. Here.... In Me." Rolling his eyes, Leon shakes his head and lets out a frustrated curse as "Punishment" by Biohazard powers out. Brock Ausstin walks out and breaks out his HAPPY HAPPY HOSS DANCE~! before heading to the ring. COLE I get the feeling, this isn't what Leon was hoping for. BUFFER From Victoria, Minnesota... weighing in at two hundred, ninety pounds... BBRRRRRRRROOOOOOOCCKK... AAAAAAUUUUUUUSSSSSSSTTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINN!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Leon leaves the ring long before Brock has reached the end of the aisle. Brock smirks through the ropes at him as he leaps onto the apron, jerking back on the top rope and causing pyro to burst out of all four ring posts. This scares the jittery Morgan, who clings onto Leon for safety, Rodez not bothering to so much as glance down at his fearful friend as he stares into the ring. COLE And AnglePalooza must suddenly seem a bit further away for Leon Rodez now. Brock Ausstin, a former Heartland Champion and a man with Lethal Rumble pedigree. He's competed in the last seven Rumbles and reached the final five in both 2004 and 2006. How he'd love to be in the field of 30 again this year. COACH I'm telling you, some serious favouritism going on! Frustrated, Leon starts to walk around the ring, with Morgan following dutifully behind him. Leon manages to shrug his shadow off once he rolls into the ring, eyeing Brock up carefully from his corner. COLE Josie Baker certainly not making things easy on Leon Rodez. Remember, the winner of this match qualifies for next Sunday's Lethal Rumble Match. The loser is out of the running and out of luck as it pertains to main eventing AngleMania in Las Vegas. *DINGDINGDING* Even though the bell has rung, Leon is in no rush to start the match. Infact he even contemplates leaving and just calling it quits, but realises what that would mean for his Rumble chances. "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" Cursing under his breath again Leon finally comes in from between the ropes and gets on with the match, walking right into some right hands from Brock Ausstin! Brock hammers away on Leon, then throws him into the ropes. A big back elbow knocks Leon down on the rebound and that's all Leon can stand, rolling out of the ring and throwing his hands up. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE You can tell, Leon wants absolutely no part of Brock Ausstin! Before he can think about leaving, Brock follows Rodez outside and grabs him from behind, throwing him into the guardrail stomach first! Rodez hangs over the barrier groaning in pain and gets pulled back in by Brock, nailed with another big right hand. COLE Leon isn't having much say in the matter right now though. Rodez gets thrown back in, but recovers and drops a knee on Brock as he attempts to slide in after. COACH Ooh. There ya go! Stomping down on the back of Brock's neck, Leon takes his frustrations out on his opponent before rounding on the referee for issuing a count to him. Leon glares a hole through the referee's chest, then goes back after Brock. The bigman is up though and grabs hold of Leon by the throat, turning and throwing him high into the corner by the neck, then unloading with another succession of big right hands!! "YYYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Brock whips Rodez across the ring into the opposite corner, then comes charging... but runs right into a boot! With Brock dazed, Leon goes to the middle rope. And he leaps, right into a POWERSLAM by Brock!! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Great counter move by Brock and a two count, almost taking Leon Rodez out of the running for the 2010 Lethal Rumble right there and then. COACH This is so unfair Michael. This is a professional sport. A professional company. You can't force somebody to go into a match without time to prepare for an opponent, without any idea of who they're facing! Josie Baker's taking liberties and I don't like it one bit. Brock hammers away on Rodez some more, then hits the ropes, looking for a big knockout right. Leon manages to duck though and leaps up onto the broad shoulders of Ausstin, clinging on with a sleeper hold! COLE Sleeper! Leon trying to choke out the bigman, trying to put him to sleep! Before too much damage can be done, Brock backs up and rams Leon back into the turnbuckles, weakening up the hold. Leon clings on desperately, trying to synch the sleeper back in. A second ram into the corner is enough to break the hold though. Shaking it off, Brock blocks a right hand from Leon, nailing him with one of his own. Leon falls back into the corner, but kicks up and catches Brock in the jaw with his boot again. Off the ropes Leon tries to capitalise while Brock is stunned. But he runs right into a powerful GORILLA PRESS from the VANILLA GORILLA! COACH AAH! Brock holds Leon overhead with the crowd roaring their approval. Picking his spot, he walks over to the ropes... COLE LOOK OUT! ...AND DUMPS LEON OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Left in a heap on the arena floor Leon is checked on by a horrified Morgan, while Brock stands tall in the ring, cheered on by the fans. COLE Could that have been a message from the monster from Minnesota? Leon Rodez, dumped over the top rope with frightening ease! The former World Champion's Lethal Rumble hopes hang in the balance, can he recover, or will Brock Ausstin be heading to New York City next Sunday? We'll find out when we come back! *COMMERCIAL BREAK* Coming back from the commercials, we find the action transplanted back inside the ring, where Leon is trying to get some offence going on Brock. Landing with some right hands, he turns and hits the ropes, only to be blasted off his feet with a big shoulder knockdown. COLE Welcome back to HeldDOWN and during the break, it has been all Brock Ausstin here in this Lethal Rumble Qualifying Match. And all thanks to what we saw before we left, when Brock picked up Rodez over his head and threw him clean over the top rope, out onto the floor below. If this had been the Lethal Rumble Match, Leon would be done already. COACH But it's not the Lethal Rumble Match. COLE No, it's not. But Leon might not even make it to the Rumble if this continues. Backed into a corner, Leon is nailed with some more right hands, Brock completely dominating at this point. Whipping Leon across the ring, the Victoria native makes a mistake though, missing with a charge into the corner and throwing him chest first into the turnbuckles. As Brock turns around, Leon lies in wait and connects with a dropkick. COACH There we go. That'll get Leon back in this thing. Cover by Leon... 1... 2... No. Leon stomps away on Brock before placing his foot on the throat and choking away with the ropes gripped for leverage. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FI..." Breaking before the five count Leon scowls at the referee again, stalking around Brock. Picking up the legs, Leon spreads them apart and delivers an elbow drop. Which seems innoccuous enough, except for the loud yell that Brock lets out as he clutches his groin. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Now that looked like a questionable move to me. Referee didn't get a good view of that, but I think it's pretty clear where Brock felt that elbow land. COACH It was aimed at the thigh. Chill out. After a warning from the referee, Leon slowly picks Brock back up. Delivering a couple of forearms, Leon whips Brock across and into the turnbuckles. Rodez lines Ausstin up, then comes charging in with a double knee attack to the chest. Boos greet that move and greet Leon's attempts to do it again, backing away from Brock with evil intentions in his eyes. A second double knee attack follows. But this time, Leon doesn't come back down. And Brock walks out of the corner, CARRYING Leon in his arms! COLE Oh my, Leon got caught! Brock sets and attempts to throw Leon over his head, only for Leon to counter with a sunset flip! 1... 2... No! Rolling back, Leon manages to beat Brock back up and boots him in the side of the head while he's on one knee. "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" Not letting the abuse distract him Leon goes to work on Brock, which only makes the chanting louder as the Winnipeg crowd try their best to get under The Fallen Idol's skin. Kicks and punches rain in on Brock. Brock gets back up though, shoving Leon away from him to try and grab a breath. Leon is right back on him with some more shots though, clubbing away. COLE Leon relentless here, trying to overwhelm his much larger opponent. He knows he can't give Brock a second to breath here. COACH I don't think it's got anything to do with Brock. I think Leon would be like this against whoever he was facing. This is desperation. Josie Baker's backed him up against a wall and he's trying to scratch and claw his way out of it and back to the top where he thinks he belongs. With Brock dazed, Leon takes him and throws his head into the top turnbuckle. Leon chokes Brock against the rope, until the referee moves in to back Leon off. While the referee is caught up talking to Rodez, suddenly Morgan Nerdly starts to creep into view, beginning to make a move towards Brock. Seemingly unsure even herself of what she's doing, before Morgan gets to Brock, he has stumbled out of the corner and away and she starts to tug on her hair. COLE It doesn't pay to take your eyes off that girl, even for a second. Brock walks into some right hands from Leon. Whipped into the corner again, Brock hits the turnbuckles hard and staggers out. Waiting, Leon catches Brock, looking for an Exploder... but can't get the 290 pounder over. He tries again, with no luck. Before Brock suddenly ducks behind and APPLIES THE KATAHAJIME!!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH NO! COLE BROCK'S GOT HIM! BROCK'S GONNA CHOKE HIM OUT!! COACH NO! Eyes wide in fear, Leon claws out, looking for anything he can to escape the choke. His hand eventually grabs onto the referee's shirt. The ensuing struggle allows Leon to pull the ref in close, then RAISE HIS LEG WITH A LOWBLOW ON BROCK!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" COLE OH, LOWBLOW! And that one was BLATANT! With Brock doubled over, a hacking Leon turns around and hits a DDT, with the referee none the wiser. He turns Brock over and hooks the leg, making the cover... 1... 2... Kickout!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Kickout! Brock is still in this one! Leon gives the referee another death-glare and gets to his feet. Nursing his nether regions, Brock tries to get up, but has trouble doing so. As he reaches one knee on the way up Brock is then hit with a Sliding Clothesline as Leon comes charging back off the ropes! Another cover... 1... 2... Kickout again! COLE You can talk about Leon's obsession with the World Heavyweight Title all you want. But guaranteed, Brock Ausstin wants to be in that Lethal Rumble just as badly as Leon does. COACH I dunno. I think Leon is capable of just about anything when it comes to regaining the World Title. He's a desperate man, Michael. The most desperate of men. Encouraging Brock to get back up, Leon is poised, waiting. Brock gets back to one knee again, still clearly hurting. This time Leon doesn't make any move, except hopping back and forth, waiting for Brock to turn his way, before he unleashes with the ONE HIT KIL... ...NO! Brock ducks the sobat to the face and catches an off balance Rodez, picking him up on his shoulder, looking for the F-STUNNER-5... "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE HERE IT COMES! HERE COMES THE PUNISHMENT! Leon starts throwing elbows though, catching Brock in the side of the head repeatedly, until Brock is forced to put the former World Champion down. Once his feet hit the mat and the relief wears off, Leon goes right to the EYES with a cruel rake. Leon then hits the ropes, but runs right into a bearhug by Brock and gets thrown with an Overhead Belly To Belly!! COLE Brock just hurled him! Cover Brock! Brock does make the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Brock picks Leon back up and executes a Fisherman's Suplex this time... 1... 2... Kickout! Picked up again, Leon is grabbed in a waistlock, ready for a German Suplex in his tour of throws. Leon manages to grab onto the top rope though, blocking the suplex. Brock quickly gives up the waistlock, clobbering Rodez across the back instead. As Leon falls back off the ropes, Brock then delivers a boot to the gut and hoists him back up, looking for the F-Stunner-5 again! COLE Here we go! Going for it agai... no! Rodez escapes, slipping free down the back. Slipping further out of Brock's clutches Leon then slides out of the ring, taking a powder. COLE And now outside goes Leon, trying to get away from this onslaught from Ausstin. Brock is in hot pursuit though, going right out after Rodez. Suddenly picking up some urgency Leon takes off around the ring, drawing Brock into a game of cat and mouse. Leon manages to get away, sliding back into the ring. Close behind him is Brock. But as he climbs to the apron, Morgan Nerdly's presence is felt again. Literally this time, as she grabs onto Brock's ankle for a second to distract him! Morgan looks instantly remorseful, as if she surprised herself by what she did. Her interference proves valuable though as the referee leans over the ropes to warn her for her actions, allowing Leon to capitalise, KICKING THE MIDDLE ROPE WITH BROCK HALFWAY IN!!!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Hey, wait a minute! Did you see that!? COACH What? I was watching Morgan. COLE Rodez just kicked the ropes low on Brock! Surprised by another shot at his groin, Brock is re-positioned by Leon, caught in the ropes. Hooking on a front facelock Leon drags Brock inside, leaving his ankles hanging across the middle ring rope as he delivers the DOWNFALL DDT, dropping Brock face-first into the mat! COLE Again the referee didn't see the lowblow! And now, Brock is in trouble, Rodez is set, look at that look on his face! With Brock shaken up, Leon waits for him to pick himself back up... before dishing out the ONE HIT KILL, blasting Brock right in the face with the rolling sobat!!!! COLE One Hit Kill! Not like this though, you've gotta be kidding! COACH You've got to tak justice, any way you can get it. Cover by Leon... 1... 2... 3!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE And the lethal kick is going to take Leon Rodez to the Lethal Rumble! *DINGDINGDING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match and entering the 2010 Lethal Rumble Match... LLLLLEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZZ!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" With a look of relief on his face, Leon rolls over to the ropes and slumps over them with a determined snarl on his face. He shrugs away the referee's attempts to raise his hand in victory, rolling out of the ring. Beckoning over Morgan, he takes a shell-shocked and wraps her in a hug, which judging from the looks on both's faces is a pretty cold gesture on both sides. COLE Yeah, Leon had ought to thank Morgan, because she was the difference here tonight. The difference between Leon being left out in the cold and now, qualifying to be one of the 30 men in this year's Lethal Rumble Match, with a shot at the World Championship at AngleMania still in Leon Rodez's sights. Leon breaks the hug and leads Morgan, still looking somewhat conflicted about her actions, up the aisle. Not celebrating, Leon instead looks vindicated, as he leaves with his victory. COLE Leon Rodez, one of the field of 30, next Sunday night at AnglePalooza. And with the OAOAST getting themselves into an Empire State Of Mind... God only knows what kind of state of mind Morgan Nerdly and Leon Rodez are in. Looking out at the crowd, Leon defiantly raises one finger in a sign of victory, a crazed look in his eyes as HeldDOWN fades away to black.

-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- We open with Maggie Nerdly, dressed in a black ruffled skirt and a Paramore t-shirt, standing in the center of the ring. MAGGIE What is up Winnipeg?! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” MAGGIE Welcome to our house, OAOAST HeldDOWN~! the most kick ass show on TV! "YEAAAAAAAAAA!" MAGGIE I don’t wanna waste anymore time, so lets get this party started! Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend! “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” Hey, hey, you, you! I know that you like me! No way, no way! No, it's not a secret Hey, hey, you, you!! I want to be your girlfriend! COLE Here they come! Four time tag team champions, Chicks Over Dicks! COACH Hide, man, hide! COLE What’s wrong with you? COACH If they can’t see us they can’t son us! Simple logic! You can’t son what you can’t see! COLE You won't be able to check out their asses if you hide. COACH Oh lord, why must you make me make such a sacrifice to! As Coach goes into panic mode and begs to be spared both the potential danger and assured humiliation of having to interview the Chicks Over Dicks, said chicks over said appendages arrive through the entrance doors to a thunderous ovation! Krista wears jeans and a flannel shirt (flannel IS BACK!) while Alix wears heavily destroyed jeans and a Hollister green and white striped polo. Krista leads the way for Alix, who for no particular reason skips down the ramp, throwing flower petals from a basket out to the fans. The fans would much rather have money or maybe some Stridex pads thrown at them, but whatever. Krista is in no mood for playing around, although then again when is she, striding down the aisle and into the ring and calling for a microphone. Alix begins to do a lap of the ring meanwhile, realising she's run out of petals halfway around and simply throwing out waves and smiles to all! “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” the fans sing as they girls head into the ring. MAGGIE Krista, you’ve won two world titles, you’re a two time superstar of the year winner, and a four time tag team champion. What brings ya back to our joint? KRISTA Maggie, my dear sweet child, you act as if I have no reason to come back! Why sit around in a six million dollar home, overlooking the ocean, with its Olympic sized swimming pool, full chef staff, butlers, 73 inch televisions, private movie theatre, NBA sized basketball court in the basement, fighting pit where I can make my Honduran slaves fight for their freedom, why sit with all that when I can come here and mingle with people who in their words “prefer pepperoni dick pizza” ALIX Pepperoni dick pizza? A tasty treat only Christian Wright could enjoy? Or a metaphor for a higher plateau of Hindu spiritual being. KRISTA So in a nutshell, that’s why I came back so fast. And because Maya’s doing some experiment with stale sushi. ALIX And the whole first floor smells like Tony Tourettes arm pits! I heard his arm pit hair is a delicacy in, like, some South American country. True story, ask Rico, I bet he snacks on it. MAGGIE I gotta ask but how’s the arm? KRISTA As an upstanding celebrity figure with her own star on the walk of fame, I’m a little bit above name dropping. So I guess there’s no reason to tell you Hugh Heffner signed my cast. So I’ll just answer your question as plainly and as un-name dropping as I can. No need to mention that Charlie Sheen came over to my house to sign it. Or that after all my intense hours of physical therapy, Avril Lavigne signed it in the parking lot. Why even mention that Sandra Bullock signed it as well, that really has nothing to do with your great question, does it, honey? MAGGIE Um, are you worried about people attacking that arm? KRISTA Now, honey, why would I be worried about something like that. Terry Taylor said I have a bullseye on my arm, prompting Alix to retrieve her cross bow and hunt me down through the backyard. But that’s not terribly important, I got over being shot with a poison arrow fairly quickly. Its not any worry to this beautiful blonde hottie, because everyone knows if they touch my arm I will gouge out their eye balls and paint dots on the side and use them for dice on family game night. ALIX Whoo-hooo strip Yahzee! KRISTA Alix thinks every game is a stripping game. Which is more than fine with me, except when we’re playing go fish with my Grandparents. That gave a new meaning to the words “Deep sea diving” MAGGIE What’s up with you entering the Anderson Cup? ALIX Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! I wanna answer! I wanna answer! After I left Krista handcuffed to the bed spread, and went off and popped some cheese popcorn and forgot about her as I watched America’s got talented, our therapist said our relationship can’t be all about meaningless kinky sex, we need to find things that we enjoy. We both enjoy running down members of the Christian Collation, or leaving flaming bags of poop on Rush Limbaugh’s door step, but those thing aren’t exactly legal! So, like, we also both enjoy sonning the entire OAOAST roster. Soooooooo, we figured there’s no better way to do that than the Anderson Cup. And, ya know what else? Its our first Anderson Cup ever! Ever! Wow! Can you believe that? MAGGIE It is, ain’t it? ALIX So it super important we win. We, like, already hold the record for tag title runs, but if we could win the Anderson Cup, we’d be the greatest team ever! KRISTA Better than the stripping doctors, and Landon’s sycophantic stalker and his incoherent psychotic fat ass lover? That’ll take some hard work! ALIX And Krista’s also super competitive. One time back when we playing soccer at UCLA. Some make a wish kid, got by her and scored a goal on me. And, well, like, I just don’t think that kid’s wish was to be chased around the field by a crazy college girl with huge boobs! Actually, seeing that she wasn’t wearing a bra maybe that WAS his wish! MAGGIE Let’s rap about the teams in the field. You guys think you’ll have any trouble with them? KRISTA Trouble, trouble, trouble! I love strip trouble! KRISTA Do you mean trouble, like trouble scraping James Blonde’s blood off my heels? ALIX Or trouble in properly inserting Logan’s head into Synth’s BUTT? KRISTA Or maybe trouble in locating all the teeth we kicked out Scottish Scott’s mouth? ALIX Or trouble after we cut Danny Boy’s brakes, and he dies in firery blaze~! KRISTA Yeah, and tro…wait, what? Cut the breaks? ALIX It’s a new gameplan, dude! I’m changing the script on these sucka ass looking suckas! Cutting their breaks, kindnapping their kids, firing shots at their baby mama’s. Real hardcore G shit for Glock Lesnar, pullin jack moves on Michelle Obama in broad daylight. Ya’ll niggas don’t want it with us. Anderson Cup too raw for ya’ll, and you know this, maaaaaaaaaaan. MAGGIE Chicks Over Dicks, ya’ll! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” the audience screams, while Krista and Alix wave to them as though they were on a parade float. COLE More HeldDOWN after this! TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT LETHAL RUMBLE QUALIFIER LEON RODEZ VS ??? THE MAINEVENT! COMMERCIAL

We go to Josie’s office, were the HeldDOWN bench boss is furiously typing away at her computer. Her moment of word processing comes to an end when Lindsay Gonzalez enters the room with Ken Pantera at her side. JOSIE (to Josie) You got it! LINDSAY Got what? JOSIE What you came in here for. Lindsay puts her hands on her hips and crooks her head sideways. LINDSAY And what did I come in here for? JOSIE A women’s title shot at Anglepalooza. Its all your’s. It was your’s before you even woke up this morning. I need someone like you. You’re a very valuable asset. LINDSAY Oh, I agree whole-heartedly! Its taken people too long to realize my skills go beyond mere beauty. Not to sound conceited, but I’m the ideal 21st century woman. JOSIE I’ve been waiting for a person like you to come along. Holly is too wild, too finicky, too rebellious for the job. That’s why she failed time and time again with Morgan. That’s why I was left with my head in my hands. You’re different. LINDSAY I’m smart. Much, much, smarter. JOSIE Yes you are. You’re a thinking woman; you’re a woman with a plan. LINDSAY My plan is to take the women’s title off Morgan, and be the top female superstar in not just this company, not just this country, but in the entire world! JOSIE That’s a plan I can get behind. COMING UP NEXT ROYAL RUMBLE QUALIFIER LEON RODEZ VS ??? THE MAINEVENT IS NEXT!

We return from break and “Mother” by Danzig cues as Queen Esther leads the Last Kings of Scotland ringside. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a first round Anderson Cup bout! Introducing first, the #6 team in the tournament, accompanied by QUEEN ESTHER! From Glasgow, Scotland, total combine weight 475 pounds, Europe’s finest athletes… “THE CELTIC THUNDER” DANNY BOY and “THE BRAVEHEART” SCOTTISH SCOTT… THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Here we go with our second to last first round Anderson Cup bout, the winner to meet COD in the semifinals. “Just a Gigolo/I Ain't Got Nobody” plays Deuce and Jumbo to the ring. PENZER And their opponents, ranked #3 in the Anderson Cup… total combine weight 830 pounds… from Las Vegas, Nevada… DEUCE DEUCE BIGELOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! His tag team partner, from Chicago, Illinois... JUMMMMMMMMMMMMBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" * DINGDINGDING * Danny Boy and Deuce circle around before locking up, and Danny immediately rakes the eyes! He hammers away on the Flaming Gigolo and then attempts an Irish whip, but Deuce puts on the breaks and executes a MILITARY PRESS SLAM! QUEEN ESTHER Scottish Scott enters and suffers the same fate. Deuce clotheslines him outside and then levels Danny with a SPINNING WHEEL KICK! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Deuce rams Danny into the big boot of Jumbo, who receives the tag and proceeds to drive his shoulder into Danny’s midsection again and again. COACH Come on, referee! Jumbo’s gotta let him out of the corner. Jumbo does alright, although Danny wishes he hadn’t as he’s splashed in the opposite corner! Danny falls back smack in the middle of the ring, prompting Jumbo‘s eyes to light up. COACH Oh no, not the XL Splash. COLE This is gonna be the shortest match in Anderson Cup history. Fortunately for Danny, Scott climbs in and pulls him to safety. COACH Scottish Scott saved his team from elimination. COLE At least for now. The Last Kings regroup and Scottish Scott tags in. He and Jumbo lockup and Scott lands a knee to the gut, then repeatedly clubs Jumbo across the back. Jumbo reverses a whip and drills Scott with a BIG BOOT. Again he goes for the XL Splash, but nobody’s home as Scott moves. Scott baits Deuce inside and the Last Kings pummel Jumbo with rapid-fire double axe handle smashes ala Demolition. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Danny exits to Esther’s applause and receives the tag. Up top he goes, only to be caught in a BEARHUG on the way down! Danny quickly thumbs the eye and attempts a PUMPHANDLE FALLAWAY SLAM. Needless to say, Danny can’t even get the big guy inches off the ground. Jumbo counters with a hip block and tags Deuce. COLE Well, that was foolish. COACH You gotta give Danny Boy an A for effort, though. Falcon Arrow plants Danny mid-ring, and then Deuce signals for THE FLYING HEADBUTT, prompting Queen Esther to rush over to the corner. QUEEN ESTHER Excuse me? Excuse me, kind sir? Could you please not dive off the top? Intentional or not, Esther distracts Deuce long enough for him to be hit by a dropkick and fall to the floor. COLE Oh, come on. COACH Come on, what? COLE You don’t think Queen Esther distracted Deuce on purpose? COACH I have no doubt she wanted to spare her man pain, but not inflict any on Deuce. It’s not her fault he didn’t keep an eye out on his opponent. The referee keeps Danny at bay while Scottish Scott works over Deuce outside. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Scott rolls Deuce back in and the Last Kings tag. Scott stomps the tattooed head of Deuce and then drops down to choke him! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FI-- Scott waits till the very end to break. Quick tag ensues and Danny Boy performs a springboard cross body splash! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! We get another quick tag after Danny rams Deuce into the knee of Scott. Scott whips Deuce into the ropes and connects with a clubbing clothesline. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Scott sets Deuce for a piledriver, but Deuce counters with a backdrop, rolls under a clothesline, decks Danny and drills Scott with a dropkick! COLE The Flaming Gigolo on fire. Jumbo tags in and delivers THE XL SPLASH~!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" But first the referee orders Deuce out of the ring, allowing Danny to dive off the top rope to drill Jumbo with the HANDLE of Scott’s SPIKED CLUB!! COLE Damn him! Danny places Scott on top and exits. The count. DEUCE ONE! TWO! THREE!!! The bell sounds as Deuce is late breaking up the pin. * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners, advancing to the semifinals… DANNY BOY and SCOTTISH SCOTT… THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The Queen celebrates with her men. COLE The Last Kings of Scotland steal the victory, which means they’ll face COD in the semi-finals, Coach. COACH No doubt they’ll be the heavy underdogs, just as they were tonight. But Scottish Scott and Danny Boy showed they’ll do anything to win. COD better not take them lightly or they won’t make it to the finals. COLE Our final first round bout next week will see the Heavenly Rockers take on Citizen Soldiers. COACH The Heavenly Rockers said it would be a piece of cake and I’m not one to doubt them. COLE Stay with us, folks. HeldDOWN~! continues after this. COMMERCIAL

LAST WEEK Up in the ring we find OAOAST Original Tony Brannigan. BRANNIGAN Two weeks from this Sunday live exclusively on pay-per-view my guests will challenge the LDC Moneygang for the One & Only World tag team championship at Anglepalooza. Accompanied by LINDSAY GONZALEZ, here are FELIX STRUTTER and KEN PANTERA… THE CAN-AM ASSASSINS! “Tom Sawyer” by Rush hits and the reaction is mixed as the CAA and Lindsay join Brannigan in the ring. BRANNIGAN We’ve got a lot of topics to discuss, but let’s start with the most recent development and that’s your surprise association with Lindsay Gonzalez. STRUTTER Unlike Spencer Reiger and CMJ, we don’t need some broad to handle our business affairs, but we damn sure needed one crazy bitch to combat Lorelei DeCenzo since we can‘t lay a hand on her without facing major consequences. Just think about the men Lindsay’s hanged with in the past, Brannigan. We’re talking guys like Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Popick. You gotta be crazy tough to willingly associate with the likes of them. BRANNIGAN Speaking of laying hands on Lorelei DeCenzo, she claims you’re suffering from a chronic case of jungle fever! STRUTTER (laughs) She’s got it wrong, Brannigan. Lorelei is the one who dreams about going after hours with Felix Strutter. But that little girl’s been passed around more times than rolls during Thanksgiving that I wouldn’t touch her to scratch her. She’s gotta be her doctor’s favorite patient. BRANNIGAN I’m sure those comments won’t sit well with Lorelei, just as I’m sure her comments this past weekend on OAOAST Syndicated probably didn’t sit too well with you, Lindsay Gonzalez. Before I get your response, let’s hear Lorelei’s comments again for people who may have missed it. Courtesy: OAOAST Syndicated LINDSAY Me jealous? Don’t flatter yourself, Lorelei, be concerned. Be concerned you might go home with permanent black and blue eye shadow if you try to interfere like you did at the New Year’s Spectacular. STRUTTER Kenny, my man, it looks like you got something to say. Do you? PANTERA Reiger, CMJ, we’re taking the belts home at Anglepalooza! “Tom Sawyer” cues as Strutter plays to the crowd. BRANNIGAN The Can-Am Assassins are ready. Will they become the new One & Only World tag team champions? Only way to find out is by ordering Anglepalooza live exclusively on pay-per-view! Let's head to commercial! COMING UP NEXT ANDERSON CUP FIRST ROUND ACTION JUMBO AND DEUCE VS LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND NEXT!

We return from break, hearing these familiar words... Womaizer, womanizer, womanizer Britney Spears’ Womanizer teams with a golden pyro shower to hearald the arrival of Mister Dick and Malaysia. The Human Hard On flexes his powerful muscles, as Malaysia, clad in a corset and bikini bottoms, massages his tightly built chest. He shoots a smirk into the camera, and then leads Malaysia to the ring. BUFFER The following is a LAST CHANCE MATCH, where the number one entry in the Lethal Rumble shall switch with the 30th entry should he win. Now making his way to the ring, representing the DEADLY ALLIANCE, accompanied by Malaysia Nerdly, he is the number one entrant to the Lethal Rumble, he weighes 238 pounds, and hails from San Antonio, Texas, he is The Human Hard On….MIIIIIISSSSSSTEEEEEEEEEER DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK COLE Mister Dick tried to put on a good face last week about being number one in the Lethal Rumble. But he wisely leaped at the opportunity to change his misfortune. COACH You can’t blame the cat, can ya? He’s almost gotta run a gauntlet of twenty nine other dudes to win. He’s coming up against Bohemoth, Tommy G, Cuban Wall. Big dudes like that! He needs a better draw. Mister Dick dives into the ring, finding that special lady in the audience and dedicating his humping the canvas just to her. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum (Jesus Walks) God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down (Jesus Walks with me) The only thing that that I pray is that my feet don't fail me now (Jesus Walks) And I don't think there is nothing I can do now to right my wrongs (Jesus Walks with me) I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long In unison green and yellow lights descend upon the arena, joined b Kanye West’s Jesus Walks. A white mist settles over the colorful entrance stage. Entrance doors spread apart and through the mist come Christian Wright and Lorelei DeCenzo. CW wears black slacks, while Lorelei wears a beautiful blue sequined strapless dress. Together they hook arms, and proceed down the entrance ramp. BUFFER And his opponent! Hailing from Washington DC, he is accompanied by Lorelei DeCenzo and weighes in at 8/13 bars of gold. He is the undefeated God Child….CHRIIIIIIIISTIIIIIAAAAAAAAN WRIIIIIIIIGHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTT! “BOOOOOOOOO!” Wright heads up the stage with a confident strut, bringing himself into the squared circle that’s dipped in green lights. He then leans over the ropes to discus strategy with Lorelei. COLE In Theodore Moneymaker’s absence due to a shoulder injury, The Enterprise has been rolling, Christian Wright is undefeated , and the LDC Moneygang are one and only world tag team champions. Maybe they’re better off without Moneymaker. COACH Don’t be speaking that blasphemy about Mister Moneymaker, fool. DING DING DING Mister Dick takes the early upperhand, firing off right hands at CW. The shots back The God Child into the corner, a perfect position for Mister Dick. He winds up, ready to hammer his foe in the face. But when CW slides out the way, Mister Dick’s fist catch nothing but thin air. He spins around to face Wright, but is brought down by a snapmare. A side headlock finds its way around his headlock, causing the Human Hard On great annoyance. “Bravo! Bravo!” Lorelei applauds on the outside. Mister Dick pushes to his feet, and begins shooting elbows into CW’s ribs. This bothers The God Child enough to release MD and throw him into the ropes. When Mister Dick returns, CW hooks onto his arm and throws him over with a sitout armdrag. Before MD can even think of escaping CW traps him inside an armbar. The Cocky Prick struggles against the grip of his foe, but has no luck in escaping. COLE Mister Dick has got to escape this hold. COACH And Mister Obvious strikes again with another gem of wisdom. MD rolls forward and kips up, switching the painful armdrag into a more advantageous arm wrench. However, that hold doesn’t last for more than a few seconds before CW overturns the hold into another armbar. He then sweeps out MD’s long legs, driving him backwards into the canvas. Growing aggravated by the lack of movement by her man, Malaysia pounds her fists on the ring apron. This seems to inspire MD somewhat, and he begins kicking his knee back at CW. Enough of these shots cause the damage necessary to fight back to his feet. CW soon joins him, but is caught within a hammerlock by The Human Hard On. COLE Last week Mister Dick said he would win the rumble from the first entry. But he jumped at this contest, knowing how lucky the one with number 30 can be. Mister Dick keeps his hold on Wright’s arm and rushes him into the nearest corner. Wright’s chest slams against the turnbuckle once more as MD uses the same attack . He then shoves CW to the ground, and switches into a grounded facelock. A smile spreads across his face, thinking he can gain a submission from the simple hold. But he can’t even get close to that goal as Wright reaches back and puts his foot on the ring ropes. “Brilliant!” Lorelei exclaims as the referee forces MD to break his hold. Back on their feet, the two ring warriors grab each other in a lockuop. They jostle for position with all their meet, fighting across the ring. Finally its CW who scores the upperhand by taking him down with a fireman’s carry. Mister Dick tries to make a quick return to his feet, but this only meets failure when The Centennial Man snatches him inside another armbar! “CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS!” the sold out audience harps on The God Child. Eyes narrowed, he barks back, “SILENCE” His moment of preoccupation with the audience costs him somewhat, as The God Child is forced to his feet by Mister Dick. The Human Hard On then uses his free arm to crook around CW’s head. From there he sits out and nails CW with a stunner. Hurt by such a sudden attack, CW is forced to relinquish his old. He stumbles away, nursing his hurt jaw. Little reprieve comes to him as MD hooks an inverted facelock on his opponent. “Give it to him, baby!” Malaysia encourages her man. MD wrenches back on the hold, choking away at his trapped foe. Despite the harsh grip however, Wright begins throwing his knees against MD’s face. Unable to shield himself from these blows, Mister Dick is injured mightily and is forced to relinquish his hold. While he copes with his agony, CW rushes to the ropes. Bouncing back , he dodges a big boot from The Human Hard On. But Wright ducks beneath the attack and stands up behind the Texas A&M alum. From there he locks MD into a sleeper hold! Mister Dick immediately attempts to fight out the hold, but has no such luck as CW holds firm. COLE A sleeper hold! Its rare we see that move in the OAOAST, much less used to win a match. COACH Mister Dick has already fought Christian Wright on several occasions, Mikey. Sometimes you gotta switch your gameplan up. Mister Dick uses his awesome strength to back CW into the turnbuckles. Despite hitting with booming force, Wright manages to maintain the precious hold. Not getting the hint, the handsome Texan tries the same technique. One more attempt encounters the same unfortunate fate. COLE Mister Dick is doing everything in his power to get out that sleeper hold. COACH It’d be a major setback to lose this early in the match, and still be stuck at number one in the lethal rumble. With no other option besides submission, Mister Dick happily resorts to mule kicking CW in the netherregions. With Wright hobbled by the cheap tactic, MD is able to break free of the hold. Taunting CW, he grabs onto his crotch and spits in CW’s direction. Needless to say, The Gold Child is rather displeased with MD’s behavior. Thus he begins firing right jabs at MD’s face. COACH Finally we got a fight going! The two men trade punches, neither one willing to give an inch to the other. But its MD who gains the advantage with a picturesque dropkick that causes Wright to become tangled inside the ropes. This leads MD to give him an enthusiastic crotch chop before heading to the ropes. He comes back at top speeds, but is flipped over with a snap powerslam by CW. Referee Clem Buzzlefoxer counts the pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Mister Dick lifts his shoulders off the canvas. COLE Close one there, and I think Mister Dick might have wasted some time by taunting CW. The God Child lays his loafers into MD, not so subtle punishment for the earlier low blow. Upon completing his stomps, he drags MD upright and shoves him into the corner. There Wright stomps away at MD’s toned midsection. Mister Dick begins fighting back, however, throwing crosses across Wright’s head. The God Child quickly puts an end to MD’s flurry of offense with a lethal European uppercut. COLE Ain’t nobody in the OAOAST who throws those uppercuts like The Cenntinal Man. Wright attempts an irish whip on Mister Dick, however the Texan reverses the hold and sends CW crashing into the corner. As The Gold Child slowly staggers away from the posts, Mister Dick takes a run of the ropes. As he bounces back, he raises his long right leg into the air and strikes CW in the back of the head with a Stiff Kick! COLE That is one of Mister Dick’s favorite move, that hard kick to an opponent’s head. Mister Dick rolls CW onto his back for a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Kickout! Frustration darts across CW’s face, as the disappointment of almost being defeated settles over him. He has little time lament his luck, as MD grabs him by the part of his hair and guides him upright. Now standing, CW is thrown under fire by punches that leave him wounded and dazed. MD leaves him staggering, and takes another run of the ropes. However, when he returns its to a recovered Wright. The God Child grabs onto his opponent’s waist and slams him into the canvas with a sidewalk slam! Wright hooks the legs for a pivotal pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Mister Dick lifts his shoulder off the mat at the last possible moment. He rolls over onto his stomach, looking worried and perturbed over this near loss. COLE That pin was so close to ending this match. And you can tell Mister Dick realizes that. MD gets up under his own power, but is soon attacked by the European Uppercuts of The God Child. After several uppercuts scrape across MD’s broad chest, The Natural lifts him into a fireman’s carry. COACH The God Child goin’ for that Bank Roll! However, Wright’s signature attack never comes to fruition as MD agilely shifts his body out of the hold. He gives CW little time to react, as he clamps his arms around his neck and brings him to the canvas with a rear naked choke. COLE I don’t know how Wright is going to survive this one! Stuck in MD’s arms, Wright struggles with all his strength. His eyes flutter as he almost slips away into the blackness of unconsciousness. COACH Mikey, I think Mister Dick has got him! Wright fights furiously to be free of the deadly hold. Mister Dick has to match Wright’s persistence with tactics of his own. As such he rolls himself and CW to the side. But this is a costly error, as it allows CW to reach out with his foot and touch the ropes. The referee calls for a clean break, which Mister Dick begrudgingly gives. COLE Coach, you were almost correct. I think with a few more seconds, Mister Dick would’ve submitted the undefeated Christian Wright. Mister Dick grabs hold of Wright’s arm and uses it to pull him upright. He traps him inside a front facelock, and then hooks his arms around CW’s slacks. An attempt of a vertical suplex is made, but Wright blocks it by hooking his leg inside MD’s. Growing highly aggravated, MD attempts another suplex. But his efforts are waisted as Wright bridges back to pin him down with a Northern Lights suplex. Buzzlefoxer drops to the canvas to count the pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Mister Dick rolls himself out the pin., and quickly scrambles upright. Now standing he greets CW’s ascension with a knee to the gut. This doubles over Wright, and allows MD to trap him inside a standing head scissors. He brings CW into the air for a powerbomb. However, his grip on The Cenntinal Man is weak, and Wright easily slides out the hold. Landing in front of MD, CW shoves him in his muscular chest. MD goes teetering backwards into the ropes. The ring cables quickly bounce him towards Wright, who grabs onto his arms with both hands and drags him down to the mat with the Wright Off As Lorelei applauds on the outside, Buzzlefoxer slides into position to count the pinfall…. ONE! TWO! A kickout by Mister Dick makes it Malaysia’s turn to applaud. COLE With so much at stake, Mister Dick can’t afford to let Wright hit his signature moves like the Wright Off. Both competitors spring to their feet, and begin trading punches. Wright comes with speedy barrage of punches that cripple Mister Dick. Taking advantage of his foe’s weakness, Wright gathers him into a front facelock. His free hand gives the money fingers gesture, drawing numerous jeers from the audience. But his taunting comes with a price; Mister Dick busts free of his facelock. Without giving CW a chance to catch him, MD whirls around and snags his foe into a full nelson. From there he raises him into the air and then dives downwards to crush him with the Pure Penetration! COLE VINTAGE Mister Dick! While Malaysia roars in sexual ecstasy, her man makes a pinfall attempt…. ONE! TWO! Wright kicks out with mere seconds to spare. Mister Dick realizes how close he was to victory, and smashes his hands against the mat in rage. Once he suppresses his fury, he brings CW off the canvas to whip him into a corner. He charges in after The God Child, making him Bite his Shiny Metal Dick! Wright staggers from the corner, dazed from the attack. Pleased with himself, Mister Dick offer a crotch chop to both opponent and audience member alike. “PENCIL DICK! PENCIL DICK! PENCIL DICK!” Jawing back at the audience, Mister Dick climbs to the top rope. He smiles to himself, sensing that Wright’s unbeaten streak is near its end. He aims to bring that finale upon CW with a top rope lariat. But CW is well prepared for his foe, and twists The Human Hard On into a powerslam! Buzzlefoxer makes the count…. ONE! TWO! Mister Dick throws his shoulder off the canvas, earning boos from the OAOAST Galaxy. Wright quickly gets to his feet, and waits for MD to do the same. Once The Human Hard On reaches his vertical base, Wright attempts to capture him inside a cobra clutch. Fearing submission, MD puts all his effort into fighting back. He’s rewarded when he’s able to drive CW backwards with a back suplex. He applies a bridge, and referee Buzzlefoxer makes the count… ONE! TWO! CW kicks out the pinfall which lets Lorelei breathe a little easier. He starts back to his feet, finding himself taking heavy fire from Mister Dick’s right hands. With CW left bone weary by the attacks, MD latches onto him and brings him onto his shoulders. COLE Going for the Cock Block! Mister Dick attempts to throw CW forward , the snotty superstar slides free of his clutches. Deeply irritated by this escape, MD whirls around with a discus punch. But when he comes face to face with CW, The God Child grabs him inside a front facelock. The Human Hard On fights desperately for his freedom. But its effort gone to waste as Wright lifts him up, then throws him downwards with the Stockmarket Crash! COACH The American economy is in the dumps, and it looks like Jock’s chance of winning the rumble are in there to! Wright hooks the legs for the pinfall…. ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING COLE The Centennial Man pulls through with his twentieth straight victory, and holds onto his spot at number thirty in the Lethal Rumble. BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall……CHRISTIAAAAAN WRIIIIIIIIIIGHTTTTTTTTTT! “Jesus Walks” plays its familiar tune as The God Child exchanges celebratory kisses on the cheek. Wright then grabs a microphone and calls for silence. WRIGHT From this day forth, I defiantly vow... no man, woman nor beast shall commit thine self to defeat! While the crowd boos Wright’s proclamation, his foe begins stirring. He holds his head in hand, unable to fathom being stuck at entry number one in the Lethal Rumble. COLE Mister Dick now officially has the toughest road to Anglemania. COMMERCIAL

Sure to be an Anderson Cup match.

Ah ha! I found a match to write. LAST CHANCE MATCH Mister Dick Vs Christian Wright If Mister Dick wins, his number 1 entry in the Lethal Rumble switches places with Christian Wright's number 30 entry.

Anyone got anything for this week? Anything at all?

-COD promo- Maybe a match but I dunno who with or who against. If anyone has any ideas/requests speak ya mind, gangsta

Excellent and intense promo to start things off. Bo's heel turn was a shocker. I wonder what his explanation for his actions will be. He definitely has some explaining to do. Good match up between Ken Pantera and CMJ. Lindsay aiding the CAA was another unexpected event. I thought Collin might pick up the win here, but alas he met failure. I think the LDCMG crew has terrible records in singles matches, they're always taking L's, they're the anti COD. Biff won! Biff won! That's two in a row for Mister Atlas. Will he have a fine showing in the Lethal Rumble? You'll just have to wait and find out. Tony delivers another fine matchup with Team Heyross beating VICE. Nice and short little promo at the end. Can't wait to hear the response of The Heavenly Rockers. These two teams had a rivalry before, and it was pretty good, so I imagine this one will be just as good if not better. Poor, poor Leon. No love or respect from Josie. Maybe, he'd be better off hounding Anglesault. You have to wonder who he'll be facing next week? He should've sicked Morgan on Josie! The mainevent was flames! Flames! Stupendous work by KC, very funny and full of great action. Coach being torn between loving their asses and hating their antics, and James Blonde begging the referee at the start of the match were highlights, but everything else was quite funny. Another good show to start off the year, and posted on time once again. Superb!

A really good show tonight, most very, very, very excellent.

BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this contest is your First Round Anderson Cup contest, scheduled for one fall! "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived" hits and plays James Blonde to the ring, backed up by his Samoan Wrecking Ball, the crazed looking Faqu. BUFFER Introducing team number one. Total combined weight, five hundred and nine pounds. They represent CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL and are one half of the OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Champions... the number 7 seed in the 2010 Anderson Cup... the team of "THE TRENDSETTER" JJJAAAAAMMMMEEEEESSSS BBLLLLOOOOOOONNDDEEEEEEE... and, "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL" FFFFFAAAAAAQQQUUUUUUUUUUU!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Faqu approaches the cameraman in front of him and stares down the lens, into YOUR SOUL. Until Blonde drags him away and towards the ring. COLE James Blonde and Faqu, representing Cucaracha Internacional. Seeded partly on the strength of their success as part of an eight man team in 2009. But certainly a capable team in their own right. COACH So how's the OAOAST gonna play these guys like this? The only reigning tag team champions in the Anderson Cup. And they don't even get to know who their opponents are!? COLE First off, they're tag team champions, with two other partners. Which they won't be tonight. And they are facing a mystery team tonight, mystery entrants into this year's Anderson Cup, which if you ask me is pretty exciting for us and for the fans. Don't you like surprises? COACH I like surprises. I bet JB and Faqu don't. Hopping up and down Blonde stays limber as he goes over long and lengthy instructions with Faqu. The Samoan just nods his head and ocassionally grunts, while wiggling his fingers ready to fight. BUFFER And now, ladies and gentlemen, introducing their opponents! An expectant cheer goes up as Blonde continues to lay the law down to his Samoan buddy. COLE Who's it going to be? COACH I dunno, but I've got a bad feeling about this. COLE How so? COACH Well... Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!~!!~~!" COACH Aw, damnit. The Chicago crowd erupt and pandemonium breaks out in the stands as the familiar strains of "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne bounce through the arena. Stopping in mid-instruction, James Blonde freezes, slowly turning his head back towards the stage with pure dread in his eyes. Hey, hey, you, you! I know that you like me! No way, no way! No, it's not a secret Hey, hey, you, you!! I want to be your girlfriend! On the verge of tears, James Blonde grabs the referee by the shirt and drops to his knees, PLEADING with him, "not them... anyone but them." "YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" But it IS them, CHICKS OVER DICKS, riding out on the motorised platform holding "ALIX'S BAR" to another HUGE reaction from the fans. Alix lays across the bar with a big smile on her face and a wave to the crowd, while the returning Krista is busy behind the bar mixing cocktails and serving drinks. To herself. BUFFER Introducing, the record-shattering former FOUR-TIME OAOAST World Tag Team Champions!! Hailing from Los Angeles, California! The team of, the reigning OAOAST United States Champion, "THE HOLLYWOOD BAD GIRL", ALIX MMMAAAAARRRRIIIIAAAAA SSSSSPPEEEEEEZZZIIIIIIAAAAAA!!!! And, her tag team partner. She is a best selling author and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos! 2009's most searched superstar on Yahoo, 2009's highest trending OAOAST topic on Twitter, 2009's Angle Award winning Wrestler Of The Year, more famous than everyone else put together and multiplied by four! She is a former two-time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion... ladies and gentlemen, "MISS CALIFORNIA"... KKRRIIIIISSTTAAAA ISADORA... DDUUUUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!! Together, they are your #2 seeds in the Anderson Cup, the incomparable... CCHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSSSSS OOOOVVVEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Alix jumps up and wings a couple of frisbees deep into the crowd, starting a couple of mini-riots to grab them and sell them on eBay, before it dies out under the weight of forced free postage and corporate mis-management. Tearing herself away from the free liqour she's surrounded by, Krista struts down the entrance ramp, which resembles a makeshift catwalk, complete with glitter carpeting the floor. A wind machine kicks into action to softly blow Krista hair around, startling Alix as she blows her magic super-imposed lips causing kiss to the camera, before complaining about the cold breeze. Behind her, Krista is suddenly hounded by photographers and journalists all dressed in black, jotting down notes on a notepad. At the end of the catwalk, Krista stops and strikes a pose. Before noticing Alix is in her way and has filled up the screen with dozens of special effect lipstick marks. KRISTA We really need separate entrances next time. ALIX Agreed. Krista jumps to the apron and hangs herself upside down on the third rope, giving the crowd an alluring and much-missed bird's eye view, while Alix slides into the ring and waves jubilantly to the fans. COLE What a moment! What a surprise! Chicks Over Dicks are back! And they're in the Anderson Cup! COACH I hate surprises. Having vacated to the floor, James Blonde looks on in despair while keeping Faqu held back. Chicks Over Dicks rule the ring and play to the Chicago crowd for a while, because... well, hey, why not? They're Chicks Over Dicks. They can do what they want. COLE This changes the entire complexion of the 2010 Anderson Cup. Chicks Over Dicks, the former four-time Tag Team Champions, in the field of eight. Or, as it is currently, seven. And every other team left in the Anderson Cup's hearts must have sunk the moment they saw Krista and Alix come to the ring, not least the heart of James Blonde. As COD continue the hog the spotlight, the camera zoom in on Krista's right arm, which is wrapped in a light cast. COLE And I guess now we have to wonder, how close to 100% is Krista? We haven't seen her since she was robbed of the OAOAST World Title at the Halloween Spectacular by Reject, after she had suffered a broken arm at the hands of Leon Rodez of course. COACH It's been like two and a half months. There's no way she's 100% healed. COLE Well I do know that Krista's recent diagnoses were quite optimistic about the severity of the break and the time she would be out. But, even so, you have to wonder if Krista has rushed back too soon, in time for the Anderson Cup. Let's hope not. Prancing and posing over Chicks Over Dicks finally concede to the referee that they're ready for the mundanity of actually having to wrestle. However, Blonde doesn't look quite so ready and stalls on the outside while Krista and Alix kick back and discuss Spring vacation plans. COACH Cole, I'm not a doctor... COLE Really!? COACH ...but I know some stuff. And I know it can take years for a broken bone to completely heal. Not months. Not weeks. Years. So Krista ain't 100%. And that arm's gonna be a bullseye for everyone she's in that ring with in the near future. Finally getting into the ring, Blonde looks across at COD with a distinct lack of confidence. Alix convinces Krista to let her start the match and finally we're ready to go. *DINGDINGDING!* ALIX YIPPEE! WAHOO! YE-HA! WHOO-HO! Jumping up and down in wild celebration like something out of a Disney teen flick, Alix seems very happy to hear the bell for some reason. ALIX WAHEY! WHOOP WHOOP! YAZZOO! BLONDE Hey. Hey, calm down. ALIX I CAN'T! I'M TOO EXCITED! BLONDE Just... just settle down. ALIX I JUST WANT TO JUMP! AND WAVE MY HANDS! AND KICK MY FEET UP BEHIND ME! LIKE THIS! BLONDE Would you knock it off? What are you so excited about!? What!? ALIX THIS! Alix makes one final jump and bonks Blonde on the head with a double axehandle blow! Blonde quickly rolls away to the ropes and rubs the top of his head, as Alix chuckles to herself, in such a way that it's obvious to everyone in the arena that she's chuckling. So, not to herself at all. COLE This could be a long night for James Blonde. Pulling on the rope in frustration, Blonde stomps around the ring with his hands on his hips. Alix decides to do the same thing and mock the pouting Blonde, which just makes him even madder. After circling, pounting and stomping, they lock up. Blonde grabs a side headlock but doesn't dare celebrate yet. Still mocking, Alix stands in the headlock with her hands on her hips and a pout on her face. Blonde yells at her to "stop it" again, which she doesn't, so he ends up pouting for real. COLE Come on. There's no sulking in wrestling! Alix gets tired of mocking Blonde, at least while having her head squeezed, so looks to escape. Stomping on Blonde's toes, she slips out of the headlock into one of her own. Blonde quickly shoves Alix off, into the ropes. A shoulder tackle knocks her down, for a cover... 1... No, Alix quickly out. COACH That's right JB, show her what a man can do! COLE You mean stuff like pouting? Locking up again, Blonde grabs the side headlock. Alix quickly shoves Blonde into the ropes though. As he comes back Alix prepares to knock Blonde down with a shoulder tackle. But JB comes out on top and covers again... 1... No, Alix kicks out. Another lock up sees Alix get the headlock this time. Working his way out Blonde delivers a shot to the gut before he throws Alix to the ropes. As he lowers his shoulder though, Alix takes a step to the left and runs right past him. Blonde turns around and tries again, but over-compensates, allowing Alix to step to the right and keep going. Getting frustrate, JB tries the shoulder again. And again. But Alix continues to dodge, until she's built enough speed to hit a flying shoulder block and knock Blonde off his feet!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh yeah! Showing you what a woman can do! Cover by Alix... 1... 2... No! Blonde is out and fuming, as Alix has had her fun and tags in Krista. "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" As Krista steps in, Blonde ducks out, not in any hurry to lock it up with the former World Champion. COLE And a warm welcome back for Krista from this Chicago crowd. "MAKE HIM EAT YOUR BUTT!" screams one clearly drunken fan as Krista squares off with Blonde. Krista dodges behind Blonde and gets him in a waistlock, only for Blonde to switch it around. Krista ducks behind, into a hammerlock. Countering into his own hammerlock Blonde then gets the side headlock, giving him a little confidence as he exchanges holds with Krista. Shooting the Canadian off the ropes, Krista drops down. Blonde navigates that, then goes under a leapfrog, charging back off the ropes... KRISTA STOP! ...Blonde slams on the brakes and gets slapped across the face by Krista! KRISTA Heh heh, you actually stopped. Angrily Blonde lunges at Krista, who swoops underneath and hits the ropes. A drop down by Blonde buys him time to throw up his own hands at the oncoming Krista... BLONDE STOP! ...Krista slams on the brakes, and then slaps Blonde across the face again! "YYYYAAAAAAAYYYY!!" COLE Can't kid a kidder. Another missed lunge allows Krista to run the ropes once more. A leapfrog this time from Blonde, forcing Krista to come off the ropes again... BLONDE STOOOOPPP! Krista slows down and just looks at Blonde with disdain. KRISTA You realise, I'm just going to slap you. BLONDE Uh... not if I slap you first! KRISTA Well, if you slap me first, I'll just slap you back and tear your face off. BLONDE OH MY GOD LOOK UP THERE! As Blonde points to the ceiling trying to distract Krista, she just groans and shakes her head. KRISTA I'm not going to look up there. I'm going to slap you. BLONDE But, now I know it's coming. KRISTA Doesn't matter, I'll still slap you. BLONDE Yeah, but... your shoe is untied. KRISTA My shoe isn't untied. BLONDE Yeah, it's untied. Totally untied. KRISTA So, if I look down at my shoe to check to see if it's tied, you're telling me that you're not going to try and slap me? BLONDE I promise that I won't slap you. KRISTA I'm not sure I believe you. I mean, for one thing... oh, hey, is that Landon over there? BLONDE Where!? Blonde turns around, sees no sign of Landon, turns back around... and Krista slaps him across the face!! "YYYYYYAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!" COACH Oh lord. As Blonde bumbles around holding his face, he gets rolled up by Krista... 1... 2... Kickout! Blonde stomps his feet and kicks up a fuss as he gets back up. Having had his fill of COD's antics, the Canadian then tags in Faqu and instructs him to take care of Krista. COLE Just like that, the fun and games may be over. The big Samoan steps into the ring and beats his chest, before charging at Krista. By the time he gets to where Krista was standing though, Miss California has gone, slapping Alix on the shoulder before she slips out of the ring. KRISTA Go get him Ally. I believe in you. Alix slowly gets into the ring, not looking so sure as her partner. Faqu backs up, retracing his steps, then tries to charge his new opponent... ...who tags right back out to Krista. ALIX Uhm, I believe in you more, you get him. COLE Krista and Alix unable to decide who's going to square off with Faqu. And Faqu looks a little frustrated. He just wants someone to tear into, whoever it is. Both stood on the apron, Krista and Alix have a little lovers spat while Faqu stares on blankly. The two go back and forth, "tagging" each other. Blonde urges the referee from his corner to force one of the two to get in the ring. Eventually, Krista agrees to a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors to decide. Which she wins via forfeit as she chooses paper, while Alix chooses the Wu Tang hand sign. ALIX Gah, every time! COACH Come on, Wu Tang should totally beat paper! As Alix climbs back into the ring, Faqu retreats again. Beating his chest, he roars out and charges across the ring again, but comes to a stop as Alix calmly walks off to the side. Faqu flies into a rage this time and charges at Alix one final time, only to go flying up over the top as Alix pulls the rope down on him! COLE What a fool I was! The fun and games never stop with Chicks Over Dicks! Faqu jumps back up and starts flipping out on the arena floor, storming after timekeepers and camera man as Blonde tries desperately to calm the savage Samoan down. Once he gets Faqu under control, Blonde tries to lead him back to the ring. As they approach the apron, they both look up to see Alix, leaping to the top rope and plummeting down onto them with a beautiful body press to the arena floor!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Alix rolls off of Faqu and rolls back into the ring, busting out a sexy disco dance. COLE Vinny Valentine, eat your heart out! Slapping the ring apron in a rage, Faqu climbs back in and goes after Alix again. A dropdown from Alix sends Faqu into the path of Krista, who has wandered down the apron, simply to pull the ropes down on Faqu again! COACH Oh come on! COLE Chicks Over Dicks, taming the beast here on their return to HeldDOWN~! Faqu gets back up again, and gets knocked right back down by Krista's cannonball dive off the apron!!!! COLE And Krista getting in on the act! COD have not lost a step in their absence! "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" While the commotion is going on on the outside, inside, James Blonde rolls back in and attacks a distracted Alix from behind. Boos rain down on Blonde as he clubs away at Alix's back, then stomps her into the mat. The referee tells Blonde to leave the ring but he pitches a fit back at him, before picking Alix up and whipping her to the ropes. Alix catches Blonde while he's still arguing with the official though, wrapping her legs around with a headscissors takedown. Back up, Blonde goes for a clothesline. But Alix ducks and Krista returns to the apron to pull the ropes down on The Trendsetter this time! COLE That broken arm not affecting Krista's ability to lower that top rope. Blonde and Faqu pick themselves up on the floor, as Alix prepares to dive again. Running across the ring, she vaults over the top rope, aided by Krista's magic rope pulling trick, WIPING OUT BLONDE AND FAQU WITH A SOMERSAULT PLANCHA!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE I don't care if Krista's 100% or not. So far, she's kicking two people's asses without laying a finger on them. That's impressive, even by Krista's standards! COACH If she wants to impress me, she'll quit pulling the ropes down and pull her skirt down instead. Until then, not interested! Alix rolls back in to tag Krista, making her legal. The former World Champion throws Faqu back inside and then heads to the top rope. As she leaves the top Faqu instinctively ducks his head, forcing Krista to improvise. She tries a top rope sunset flip, but even her momentum off the top can't bring Faqu down and he gets his balance, before sitting out, aiming to squash Krista's ample chest. Luckily for all concerned, Krista moves out of the way. Faqu lands hard on the mat and takes a low dropkick to the face, before being held down for the pin... 1... 2... No! Firing a couple of quick kicks into Faqu's doughy midsection, Krista hits the ropes. A swipe from Faqu is ducked by Miss California, coming back off the far ropes with another dropkick. Faqu wobbles, but doesn't go down. Which troubles Krista. COACH Now you done it. Let's see what good pulling the rope down does you now. Krista thinks over her strategy before coming off the ropes again. With a dropkick not enough Krista decides to fling her entire body at Faqu, figuring that will do the job. But Faqu catches Krista! Faqu then hurls Krista to the mat with a uranage, bouncing her head off the canvas!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Yeah~! COLE Teasing the beast was fun, but Krista got too close to the animal's jaws and she paid for it. With Krista left holding her back of her head, Blonde demands the tag and runs in to make the cover... 1... 2... No! Blonde stomps Krista in the ribs. And again. Reaching down, Blonde then grabs the arm, causing Krista to panic and kick him in the BUTT. COLE Uh-oh, watch that arm. Not appreciating the kick, Blonde drops to his knees and chokes Krista, then makes another cover... 1... 2... No! Blonde looks down at Krista and suddenly gets a rush of blood to the head, trying to surprise her with the LIONSAULT... but Krista rolls out of the way! COLE Nobody home on that one! Not sure that was a great idea on Blonde's part, if you've got Krista down you've got to take advantage while you can. Holding his stomach as he gets back up Blonde gets struck across the face with an elbow. And a second. Loading up, Krista then prepares to use her cast as a weapon to crush JB's face once and for all. The referee jumps in to block this illegal shot though, allowing Blonde to hit a quick knee to the gut. Krista falls backwards into her opponent's corner and into the clutches of Faqu, who reaches over the ropes and starts to maul her. Able to break free, Krista hangs Faqu's throat across the top rope though. COACH If only the chick in King Kong had a rope she could have used to escape. COLE Look out though! Krista takes a second too long to turn around and when she does, Blonde has sprung to the middle rope and fires off a dropkick, sending Krista flying through the ropes to the arena floor!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Great springboard dropkick by Blonde and that may have turned the tide right there! Pleased with himself Blonde walks across the ring and taunts Alix, drawing her into the ring. Meanwhile on the outside, Faqu picks up Krista and starts mauling her again, then runs her back-first into the ring apron! Faqu prepares to do even more damage, but Blonde instructs him to throw Krista back inside so she can be pinned... 1... 2... No! Blonde argues the count with the referee while Krista groans in pain beside him. COACH Now we're seeing Faqu and JB in action. A great team with a great dynamic, a great strategy. COLE A strategy which seems to be Blonde telling Faqu "you do the damage and I'll get the glory." COACH Exactly! A great strategy. If you've got a 300 pound Samoan in your corner, you're not going to tell him to do wacky little dances and strut around the ring, are you? Why buy a dog and then bark yourself? Tag is made, bringing Faqu in. After some instructions from Blonde, they throw Krista off with a double whip. Blonde drops down, forcing Krista to run right into the path of a Samoan Wrecking Ball, just smashing her down to the ground with all his Samoan might! As Alix looks on with concern, Faqu walks around his fallen opponent. Off the ropes, he then crushes Krista beneath the weight of a BIG Splash!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH That's gonna do it! Count ref! 1... 2... NO! COLE We almost saw the end of Krista right there. 300 pounds, crashing down on her and yet still, able to kick out. COACH I ain't even surprised anymore. I don't know what this woman has that makes her so resiliant, but she's got a lot of it. Also, her funbags worked like airbags then. Faqu looks confused at the fact Krista kicked out, so Blonde calls him over to tag in and keep the momentum, and keep Krista from making the tag. He drags Krista back into the middle of the ring and drops an elbow to the back. Blonde then hits a double stomp to the back, arching Krista's spine awkwardly. Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! "LET'S GO KRIS - TA!" *clap clap clapclapclap* "LET'S GO KRIS - TA!" *clap clap clapclapclap* Apparantly distracted by the crowd, Blonde suddenly takes a detour and knocks Alix off the apron!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE That was a cheapshot! Blonde laughs it up as he goes to pick Krista up, but isn't laughing for long, as he's surprised with a jawbreaker! Bad back and all, Krista then connects with a 360 enziguri, rapping Blonde across the side of the head! The crowd cheer and Krista quickly rolls over the top of Blonde, over to the corner to make the tag. Only problem being, Alix is still picking herself up on the outside. COLE No-one to tag! What bad luck for Chicks Over Dicks! Not able to hang around for her girlfriend, a frustrated Krista is forced to go back in and fight for herself. As Blonde gets to his feet Krista puts her back to the test again and launches herself onto Blonde's shoulder, looking for a hurricanrana. But Blonde counters with a POWERBOMB!! 1... 2... NO!! COLE Two and a half, that was a close one for Krista! COACH Give it up for the brains of James Blonde though, to take Alix out of the equation. This man has learned so much from his mentor, Landon Maddix. He's like a mini-version. A spitting image. COLE A creepy stalker who dresses up as you and follows you everywhere you go. Yeah, I see what you're saying there Coach. Tag is made to Faqu again, Blonde more firm with his instructions with the Samoan, to finish Krista off. Alix picks herself back up and gets back onto the apron, far too late for Krista's benefit. Dragged up by the hair, Krista is scooped and slammed in the centre of the ring. Faqu beats his chest, Blonde nodding with a smile as he looks on. Backing into the ropes, Faqu then measures Krista and drives his head... INTO THE MAT, as Krista avoids a jumping headbutt! COACH Didn't phase him! Didn't phase him! Thanks to his traditionally hard Samoan cranium Faqu is right back up and right after Krista. A clothesline is ducked by KID though. Seeing the turnbuckles in front of her Krista runs towards them, vaulting off the middle rope. Her attempted crossbody ends with her getting CAUGHT in Faqu's arms, for the second time in the match. This time though Krista has the counter, kicking her legs until she manages to swing herself around and drive Faqu's head into the mat again with a DDT!! COACH Didn't phase him... did it? Faqu is quickly back up again, but much slower to attack this time. COLE I think it may have rattled the big guy. Taking aim, Krista PUNTS Faqu in the stomach with the toe of her platform heels. With a grown, Faqu doubles up. Krista then comes off the ropes and takes a big swing with her bad arm, clocking Faqu right in the head... ...and watching as he slowly topples backwards to the mat!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH SHE HIT HIM WITH THE CAST! COLE And Faqu might be out cold! COACH SHE HIT HIM WITH HER CAST, COLE! That should be a disqualification! That's a weapon, a foreign object! The referee does reprimand Krista for her use of the cast, but not nearly enough for James Blonde's liking. He storms into the ring to confront the ref, completely ignoring Krista, who's able to crawl to the corner and make the tag to Alix! ALIX AW YEAH~! Alix leaps into the ring and runs right through Blonde with a clothesline. A second clothesline. And then a third, Ultimate Warrior style, MISTER WARRIOR style even, as she shakes the ropes like a mad(wo)man!! Blonde staggers around right into Alix, who takes The Trendsetter by the head and introduces his face to the top turnbuckle. Literally. Before ramming them together. Taking Blonde by the hair again, she throws him into the opposite turnbuckle. Then down the line to the third corner. And all the way over to the fourth, not wanting to make any of the turnbuckles feel neglected. COLE Look at Alix go, like a wildcat! COACH Like a crazy woman, you mean? This bitch is a wacko! Stumbling and bumbling like a drunk, Blonde throws some punches at non-existant figures in front of him. Alix stops and enjoys this for a second, before delivering a russian legsweep. Rolling through to her feet Alix follows up with a BUTT drop on Blonde's chest and sits on him by way of a cover... 1... 2... Kickout! The US Champion quickly climbs to the top rope, waggling her BUTT at the appreciative fans. She then takes flight with a flying crossbody... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Boy, Alix is ROLLING here. As Blonde gets back up, Alix is waiting, a serious fighting stance adopted. She slaps her palm into Blonde's chest. Then his stomach. And then his jaw. A kick to the knee drops Blonde down. Alix then pulls up on her shorts, gives herself a wedgie and smacks her BUTT into the kneeling Blonde's face! COLE Alix showing off an extensive BUTT-based offence here. COACH I ain't complaining. Cover by Alix... 1... 2... NO! Alix waves Blonde back up, but stops, ridding herself of the wedgie and the painful chaffing it can cause. COACH Okay, now I can complain again. Whipped to the corner, Blonde manages to duck his head and avoid any further problems by backdropping Alix over the top rope. Alix lands safely on the apron though, leaping up and cracking Blonde in the back of the head with an enziguri from the outside! Blonde stumbles out of the corner, into Krista, who hits the Side Effect! COLE Blonds Never Pay A Cover! Alix then comes off the top rope with a Frog Splash!! 1... 2... FAQU BREAKS IT UP!! COLE Uh-oh. After striking Alix in the back, Faqu attempts to strike Krista in the front, only for the 2009 Wrestler Of The Year to drop and crawl through the Samoan's legs. Faqu grunts and turns around, to find COD waiting with a double dropkick. Faqu doesn't go down, so they hit another double dropkick. Still he stays up. FAQU BLAAAAARAAWHAAGHGAAWWAAHH!!!! Faqu hurls himself forward with a double clothesline... ...but COD duck and hit a double dropkick to the back, sending Faqu out to the floor!! COLE That deals with that problem. Back up, Blonde gets the jump on Krista, knocking her to the mat. Avoiding a strike from Alix, Blonde then hooks the US Champ and makes a FASHION STATEMENT, with an Inverted DDT! Leg hooked... 1... 2... SAVE BY KRISTA. COLE Blonde trying to sneak in the back door and pull out the shock for the number 7 seeds. I don't like their chances right now though. COACH There's a surprise. Blonde takes the fight to Krista, managing to fend her off with some shots to the ribs. Blonde then hits the ropes, but runs into a standing dropkick! Jumping back to her feet, Krista positions herself at Blonde's side and the Chicago crowd voice their approval. However, Alix puts a stop to the booty shaking! COACH WHAT? BOOOOOOOO!! Before the crowd have a chance to boo the party-pooper though, Alix reveals that she just wants to join in. And to the DOUBLE delight of the crowd, it's a DOUBLE BOOTY SHAKING MOONSAULT!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH I wish Krista and Alix were just their asses. They'd be so much better that way. COLE Way to be a modern man, Coach. Blonde picks himself up with Chicks Over Dicks ready and waiting. Not as exciting as it may sound. Krista dishes out a slap. And then so does Alix. And they high-five. Blonde has had enough mis-treatment by this point and screams at them to "STOP SLAPPING ME!", as he tries to slap them both in retaliation. Both Krista and Alix duck though, leading to a dose of KIDOLOGY from Krista!!!! Before Blonde can fall to the mat, Alix quickly spins him around and follows it up with CONFESSIONS OF A KRISTAHOLIC!!!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COACH Aah! I hate them so much except their asses! By mutual decision, it's Krista with the cover... 1... 2... 3!!!!!! COLE Chicks Over Dicks, moving on in the Anderson Cup!! *DINGDINGDING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners, advancing to the Semi Finals of the 2010 Anderson Cup... ALIX MARIA SPEZIA and KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN... CCHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSSS OOOVVVVEEEEERRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!! "YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" COD kiss, another popular move, before their hands are raised in victory. COACH You know what, I thought this'd be a new year. I thought this'd be different. I was so looking forward to 2010 and everything it was going to hold. New year. New decade. And now, Chicks Over Dicks are back, Krista's back, they're kicking people's asses again, they're making people look like chumps... I dunno what to think anymore. COLE Oh, man up already. COACH Sorry. As Chicks Over Dicks celebrate their win, Faqu lopes around ringside, waiting as the referee rolls Blonde's body out of the ring. COLE The face of the Anderson Cup has completely changed. To a sad face, if you're anyone except Chicks Over Dicks. The #2 seeds now, perhaps, the team to beat. Can anyone stop COD? We'll have more Anderson Cup action next week on HeldDOWN~! to see who else will make it to those big semi-finals, until then, goodnight from the OAOAST!