King Cucaracha

Typically. The moment we start whooping you Aussies, it starts raining.

Mr Anderson = "Kamikaze" Ken Anderson, right?

Grudge Match (~!) Leon Rodez vs. Christian Wright

If HBK is a heel going against RVD, Michaels would win the feud on the mic hands down. Not to sound like an RVD hater, but charisma wise, Michaels as a heel is going to over-shadow RVD as a face. Plus, it's hard to put someone over for their athletic abilites when you've got someone as athletic as him in the ring...especially when they're older than RVD and with a surgically repaired back. RVD would win the match, but it wouldn't put him over huge, because he'll have been owned on the mic for the 3/4 weeks build to the match. Cena's probably the best bet at the moment. He needs a big name to go through, because beating CCC, Christian and Jericho hasn't damaged him but hasn't helped as it could.

*CUE RECAP-A-PA-LOO-ZA~!* [QUOTE] -LAST WEEK, HELDDOWN- The Angels look about ready to pounce on the outnumbered Jade, when suddenly, Leon Rodez walks over, standing beside her sister. Val and Constance recoil slightly, not looking quite so anxious to attack anymore. LEON Problem? CONSTANCE What a surprise. As soon as there's trouble, little Jadey hides behind her brother. Word of advice, Jade. If you ever graduate from the academy and some how get your wrestling license...learn to stand on your own two feet. Because you won't have 'Big Bro' to fight your battles for you. JADE I can fight my own battles just fine. Infact, if you two aren't busy next week, maybe I can fight them then. The Minnesota Angels versus me and a partner. How does that sound? CONSTANCE A FEMALE partner...you can't pick your brother. We're not going intergender... Leon wipes his hand across his chin, looking The Angels up and down. LEON Pity. Flustered, The Angels think about attacked again...but think better of it again. VALERIE Alright, bitch. We'll see you and whoever you can find in the ring next week! CONSTANCE You'd better hope you can find a good partner, because you're in WAY over your head. WAY over! As The Minnesota Angels storm off, Jade watches on with a snarling look on her face. Beside her, Leon smiles, wrapping an arm around his little sister's shoulders. LEON First match, eh? Aw, my little sis is growing up. JADE *laughs* Shut up! [/QUOTE] BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. First, team number one. Both hailing from St. Paul, Minnesota. At a total combined weight of two hundred and ninety five pounds...VALERIE and CONSTANCE...THE MINNESOTA AAAAAAANNGGEEEELLLLLLSSSSSS!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "Seether" by Veruca Salt hits as Valerie and Constance strut out onto the stage, smug as can be. The duo stop, raising their arms and soaking up the boos of the crowd, before they make their way down the aisle. Valerie stops midway, checking her hair is in place in the lens of a nearby camera, Constance seeing it and deciding she should do the same. COLE You saw the recap moments ago, of what led to this match tonight. These Minnesota Angels had a busy night last Thursday, not only sticking their nose in the business of Molly Matthews and Pantera Combiatenta but also insulting Jade Rodez, again with no reason or provokation. But Jade stood up to them and good for her, says I. Because these youngsters, brash as they are, are great tag team wrestlers. It takes a lot of guts for a trainee like Jade Rodez to be challenging them to a match, her first professional match no less. CABOOSE Either it's guts, or she's as dumb as her brother. COLE Well, Jade mentioned she has previous training...and, talking to Leon, it seems that's true. She took up a wrestling course in Michigan. Which, according to Leon, ended after a month and a half because 'Jade discovered yo-yos and took that up for two weeks instead'. Whether he was actually serious or not, who knows. But we're told this isn't a fad this time and Jade is serious about becoming a wrestler, she knows the basics already and has apparantly been coming along well in the past couple of months. COACH She's been training with the good folks down at the OAOAST Wrestling Academy. I hear Pantera Combiatenta has been working with her the past couple of weeks, as she has a lot of the girls in the Women's Division. But as well as that, Jade has been having 'not so secret' lessons from her brother too. So, she might surprise us tonight. The Minnesota Angels gather in the ring, currently making fun of Michael Buffer's tuxedo, Valerie holding her nose and indicating that his dress sense stinks, while Constance gives him a big thumbs down. Buffer doesn't seem to notice though, as he steps back centre ring. BUFFER And, their opponents! Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by "Silky Smooth" LEON RODEZ! From Grand Rapids, Michigan...she weighs in at "probably about 20 pounds too much". Making her OAOAST debut tonight. JAAADDEEE... RRRROOOOOODDEEEEZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" [b]*GOOOOONG!*[/b] [i]"GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN!"[/i] The crowd pop as "Jungle Boogie" by Kool and the Gang hits, in absence for actual theme music as Jade is still a trainee of course, playing The Rodez Family to the ring. Leon leads the way, his sister trailing behind looking mighty nervous about her big first match. And thankfully, not too drunk, thank you Molly Matthews. The Rodezes reach the ring, Jade getting a good luck pat on the back from her brother, who makes his way over to Sofa Central, whilst she begins to enter the ring. Quickly The Angels advance on her, so she backs down the steps and retreats into the aisle, not wanting to be out-numbered. CABOOSE (mumbling) Here, have this one, I'm gonna grab some tea. LEON Heh. You wacky Brit you. Hey, what's up guys! COACH HOLLA~1 COLE Leon Rodez, thanks for joining us. Tag team action here... LEON I love tag teaming. COLE ...Women's Division. LEON I love women. Jade continues to watch on from the aisleway, waiting for her partner to make herself known. The Minnesota Angels watch on intently, leaning on the ropes and trying to look relaxed... "OLE, OLEOLEOLE, OLE, OLE!" "OLE, OLEOLEOLE, OLE, OLE!" "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLEEEEEEEE!!! OLEOLEOLE, OLE, OLE!" As the crowd sing along to "Ole!" by The Bouncing Souls, Valerie and Constance begin to become even more confident in the ring. Confident to the point of laughing hysterically away to themselves and clearly not being intimidated by El Chica Genérico as she bounds through the curtains, shooting a single finger to the heavens. COACH Wait, you turned down Molly Matthews for this? LEON Hey, don't look at me Coach...Leon Rodez hasn't turned a woman down in his life. Genérico jogs down the rampway, tagging hands with the fans...and tagging hands with Jade Rodez as she reaches the bottom of the aisle. BUFFER And, her tag team partner. Hailing from Tijuana, Mexico...she weighs in at one hundred and twenty one pounds. She is the "Generic Lady Luchador"... EL CHICAAAAA... GGEEEEENNÉÉÉÉRRRIIIICCCCOOOOOOOO!!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Genérico is clearly a popular choice with the fans. She also seems a popular choice with the Minnesota Angels, mockingly applauding Genérico as she is announced to the crowd. Genérico removes her spangly gold cape, throwing it behind her and giving Jade a thumbs up, returned by Jade with a smile. The duo then begin to make their way around to their corner of the ring. The Angels meanwhile huddle in their's, discussing strategy. COLE So, what do you think about these Minnesota Angels then Leon? LEON They're no Charlie's Angels. Both TV series and blockbuster movie versions. Team conference over, Constance leaves the ring and allows Valerie to start the match. Perhaps unsurprisingly, on the other side of the ring, Jade ducks out and allows Genérico to step into the ring. A mighty "OLE~!" gets a cheer from the crowd and sneers from The Angels. COLE I was thinking more advic... LEON That's not to say I'd kick them out of bed. Far from it. Not that I'd ever kick a woman anywhere, but I wouldn't ask them politely to leave my bedroom. Infact, if I were making a comeback in my previous career, then, as far as the Women's Division goes, you're probably looking at my leading ladies. I could call it "Leon and the Minnesota Ana... COLE ...ANYWAY! We're set to go here. With wrestling. LEON Oh yeah. That stuff. Good good. *DING DING DING!* Genérico and Val inch forward, circling each other for a moment before initiating a collar and elbow tie-up. With the slight weight advantage, Valerie is able to pull Genérico down into a side headlock. Genérico uses some forearms to loosen Valerie up, before backing her off the ropes and shooting her across the ring. Coming back, Val braces herself and knocks down Genérico with a shoulder block. Rapturous applause from Constance greets Valerie as she poses momentarily, before hitting the ropes. Over rolls Genérico, Valerie vaulting over the top. Genérico quickly scrambles back up, bracing herself for Valerie coming back and countering her relaxed shoulder block by taking her over, japanese armdrag style. Flustered, Valerie scrambles back up, taken over with a traditional armdrag. Valerie scrambles up again and charges. Genérico is waiting, sidestepping Valerie with a bi paso. GENÉRICO OLE~! Valerie crashes back off the ropes. Over goes Genérico with a leapfrog, turning to meet Valerie on the second rebound with a hiptoss. Valerie manages to block though, pulling Genérico's arm back into a British courting hold. With her free arm, Genérico pushes Valerie's head down and throws her legs up, wrapping them around the head of Valerie. Confused, the Angel releases the arm of Genérico and is sent tumbling to the mat with a headscissors, right into a victory roll style pinning combination... 1... 2... Kickout. Both Valerie and Genérico scramble up, with Valerie too anxious to attack and running straight into a drop toe hold. Val holds his face in pain on the mat, as Genérico vaults over her and hits the ropes in front, diving in with a basement dropkick to the face! Valerie again tends to her face, getting rolled onto her back for another pin... 1... 2... Kickout. Genérico quickly applies a side headlock as Valerie kicks out this time, trying to gain some control over her opponent. Pulling herself up, Valerie uses a tug of hair and mask to lever Genérico back into the ropes. She then pushes El Chica Genérico off, across the ring and drives a knee into the gut, Genérico sent somersaulting over the knee from the momentum and force. That allows Valerie to quickly tag in Constance, who hurries into the ring and applies a quick rear chinlock to stop Genérico from reaching her corner and tagging in Jade Rodez. COLE There's the added advantage of tag team experience. As soon as Valerie had the chance, she rushed over to tag, while Genérico seemed to take longer to realise the situation. LEON Probably because she's foreign. COLE ... Bringing Genérico up in the chinlock, Constance levers her lighter opponent easily down into a side headlock, wrenching on the move. Constance begins to turn, until her back is to the referee, allowing to to sneakily jam a closed fist into Genérico's face. Down to her knees goes Genérico, Constance briefly pleading innocence before clubbing Genérico in the spine with a forearm. And a second. Turning to Jade, Constance sneers before then hitting a third, hard forearm strike that leaves Genérico writhing. Constance then pulls Genérico up, sliding behind her opponent and executing a quick, high angle back suplex. Ending up folded on her neck and shoulders, Genérico rides the imaginary bicycle from the growing pain in her upper back, while Constance taunts Jade. Jade thinks about coming in, but for some reason stops short. Constance turns back to Genérico, throwing her back by the legs and rolling her to her feet, before whipping The Generic Lady Luchador forward into the ropes. Ducking under a back elbow, Genérico suddenly finds a burst of speed. But as she rebounds off the ropes, Constance charges right at her, catching Genérico high with a Harley Race knee to the chest! Down drops Constance, attempting a pin... 1... 2... Kickout. COLE Smart pin attempt, keeping the pressure on El Chica Genérico at all times. Bringing Genérico to her feet, Constance keeps her opponent close at hand while tagging in Valerie. The two discuss strategy as they make the switch, both grabbing an arm of Genérico and whipping her to arms length, before dragging her back spine first into the turnbuckles! Constance then leaves, as Valerie snapmares Genérico out of the corner to a seated position. Climbing to the middle rope, Valerie then drops the short distance to Genérico, driving her knee down into the Mexican's spine in simple but effective fashion! COACH These Angels seem to be working on grounding Genérico, rather than focusing on a particular area of the body. Neck, chest, back, it's all hurting now for Genérico. RODEZ To be honest, I think they're just toying with her more than anything. COLE It may be. They certainly looked very confident when Genérico came out as the partner. Jade can only watch on frustration, as Valerie pulls up the aching Genérico and scoop slams her to the canvas. A loud, Mexican groan can be heard as Genérico writhes on the canvas, while Valerie plays with her hair a little, trying to fix it up to her liking. Valerie then goes back over to Genérico, grabbing her behind the head and pulling her back up. Casual as can be, Valerie scoops up Genérico and plants her with a second scoop slam. A smile creeps over her face as she then turns to the crowd, showing off TEH GUNZ~! for all to see. RODEZ Wow, would you look at those! COLE Pretty good muscles, I'll admit. RODEZ I wasn't talking about her muscles... COLE Oh. Finishing up her flexing, Valerie helps Genérico to her feet before firing off a forearm, snapping Genérico's head back violently. Genérico stumbles back a few steps, as Valerie strides in with a second forearm. Confidently, Valeria then wastes a moment to confer with Constance, before going for another forearm. Genérico is waiting though, beating her to the strike by snapping off a quick standing dropkick! Away crashes Valerie, as Genérico lumbers back up, trying to get towards her corner. Valerie gains her bearings quickly enough to stop Genérico though, clinging onto her ankle to prevent the tag being made. Hopping on one foot, Genérico is so desperatly close, Jade reaching as far as physically possible, her small stature forcing her to climb onto the bottom rope and lean in. Valerie enventually manages pull Genérico away though, hooking her down with a clothesline on the way. COACH Aw, man, so close! Valerie quickly scrambles to her corner, tagging in Constance, who wastes no time in rushing into the ring and grabbing Genérico. Coming to her feet, Genérico wrings the arm to get behind Constance, before leapfrogging over the bemused Constance. As Genérico lands however, Constance catches her quickly, applying a waistlock. Genérico frantically reaches for the ropes close beside her, but Constance deadlifts Genérico, dragging her away from the ropes. Before then setting, arching back and sending Genérico tumbling over her head with a quick German suplex!! Genérico tumbles through, to her knees before slumping onto her back. Constance sees it, but is far too casual in crawling on her knees to make the cover... 1... 2... BROKEN UP BY JADE! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Jade scampers back to her corner, grabbing her tagrope before the referee can give her a hard time. The look of fury on Constance's face is clear though as she stands up, looking down at the motionless Genérico...before spinning on her heels and SLAPPING the taste out of Jade's mouth!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHH!" Constance jigs away, already warning the referee that she's about to be attacked, as the inexperienced Rodez rushes into the ring to try and gain some retribution, only to be held at bay by the referee. LEON Aw yeah, you done gone done did it now! COLE Well, Jade Rodez has been fired up...and she's making a mistake here, distracting the referee...and, look at this, Valerie in as well now! The Minnesota Angels are double teaming El Chica Genérico! Indeed, both Valerie and Constance are in the ring now and putting the boots to Genérico, taking advantage of the fiesty Jade (as I'm sure many men well in the coming years, lolz0rs!) and the referee's distraction. Eventually, Jade is forced back to the apron by the referee. Valerie and Constance, veteran tag team wrestlers, are well aware and make their switch in comfortable time, complete with fake tag which the referee hears but obviously does not see. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Valerie is back in now and pulls Genérico to her feet, stepping behind The Generic Lady Luchador in back suplex position. Instead of dropping back, Val turns Genérico towards the corner and sits her on the top turnbuckle, holding Genérico up so she doesn't fall back just yet. With Genérico up top, Valerie turns her back to Genérico, holding her in hang(wo)man's neckbreaker position. Desperately Genérico fires off side elbows in an attempt to escape the move, doing so eventually and causing Valerie to stumble away. Grabbing the top rope, Genérico is able to sit up, sitting herself on the top turnbuckle. Suddenly, Valerie shakes off the cobwebs and charges with a double axehandle into the spine of Genérico to leave her winded up top again. Valerie flicks her hair from her eyes before then climbing to the middle rope, running a thumb across her throat. Again, Genérico begins to throw the right elbows, dazing Valerie...and eventually, causing her to crash back off the ropes and to the canvas! Valerie falls beside the buckles, allowing Genérico to stand on the top rope...before suddenly dropping, using the top rope to vault off with her thighs, landing on Val with a Split Legged Moonsault... 1... 2... Kickout. Damaged by the move, Genérico holds her ribs, again searching for the tag. Valerie searches for the tag too, further from her corner than Genérico's. So she changes plan, clutching Genérico by the ankle and preventing her progress. Valerie then grabs the hair too, using it to pull her up. Applying a front facelock, Valerie looks to buy herself some time before wheeling around towards her corner. Genérico grabs the legs to stop Valerie though, eventually tripping the legs from out underneath. Valerie falls flat on her back, as Genérico floats over with a jacknife pinfall... 1... 2... Valerie shows greats strength, bridging up and twisting Genérico around into a backslide... 1... 2... Genérico rolls through, coming her feet in front of Valerie. With an angry growl, Valerie throws a running forearm. But she telegraphs it, Genérico vaulting over top with a leapfrog, tumbling forwards as she lands and diving into a tag to Jade Rodez!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE TAG! HERE COMES JADE! LEON Here we go! C'mon sis!! Climbing into the ring, Rodez makes a beeline for the stunned Valerie, just charging through her with a clothesline! Valerie staggers straight back up, right into another clothesline! Sensing trouble for the Minnesota Angels, Constance scrambles in. She too takes a clothesline from Jade though, who is ON FIYAH~! Up stagger The Angels. Jade snaps a boot into Valerie's gut, then a boot into Constance's. Both double over, as Jade grabs two handsfuls of hair...messing up the precious, Minnesota locks...before sending the Minnesota heads together with the almighty Double Noggin Knocker~! LEON Hey, she did watch that Hogan tape I gave her! COACH You gave her a Hogan tape? LEON Yeah man! Where'd you think I learnt the 450 from? C'mon Jade, start Rodezing Up! Valerie and Constance stumble around, from both the collission of the heads and the fact Jade's offense is coming so unexpectedly for the overly confident duo. Quickly, Jade grabs Constance and pitches her out of the ring. Jade then grabs Valerie behind the head, slamming a forearm into the side of the head. Two more quick forearms follow, enough to leave Valerie dazed at least. Jutting out her chin, Jade dares Valerie to take a shot. Valerie groggily obliges, but Jade ducks the forearm and *SLAPS* Valerie with an Asschop!! Jade then grabs an arm, pitching Valerie into the ropes with an irish whip. Again, Jade swings out with a clothesline. This time Valerie sees it coming and ducks, all ready to point to her cranium and brag of how smart she is. Until that is El Chica Genérico dives into picture, connecting with a flying leg lariat that causes Valerie to land folded up on her head and her right shoulder!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAHHHHHH!!" GENÉRICO OLE~! Genérico fires up the crowd. Jade taps her on the shoulder though, pointing out to the recovering Constance on the floor and encouraging her opponent to "do the flippy thing". COACH OH NOZ, NOT TEH FLIPPY THING!! Nodding hurriedly and with a couple of "Si"s, Genérico rushes over to where Constance stands, exiting to the apron. Constance looks dazed, staring up with some apparant vision problems, as Genérico leaps to the top rope and tumbles back with the Arabian Press Suicidá (Split Legged Moonsault to the floor), wiping out Constance!! COLE Beautiful move! And that leaves Jade alone with Valerie for the moment. Still lying in an awkward position, Valerie is pulled to her feet. Jade throws a couple more forearm strikes, before attempting another irish whip. Valerie spins through, coming face to face with Jade momentarily and dragging her forward. She then ducks her head, ready to attempt a Northern Lights Suplex. Jade instinctively grabs the rope behind her to block, firing up knees into the chest of Valerie until she relents. As Valerie comes up Jade then pulls Valerie into a side headlock, pointing to the far turnbuckle as she breaks into a run. Diving forward, Jade attempts a bulldog as she approaches the middle of the ring. Somehow Valerie puts on the brakes and shows great strength though, able to lean back and eventually take Jade back and into a back suplex position, before turning to the side and planting Jade with a Blue Thunder Bomb!! Jade automatically rolls off her shoulder from the impact, but Valerie pulls her back and hooks in the sunset pin... 1... 2... KICKOUT! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Frustrated, Valerie collapses backwards and slaps the mat with her hands. Jade is hurting, still without a naturally built immunity to hitting the canvas properly built up, meaning she feels the effects of the Blue Thunder more than most. LEON Okay, that wasn't in the gameplan. COLE And Jade looks hurt. Jade is going to have to show some of the heart that you regularly have in your illustrious career, Leon. LEON If I wasn't so nervous and so straight, I'd kiss you Michael. Valerie drags Jade up, noticing that she's holding the back of her neck and slamming a couple of elbows down across the body part. Jade drops to all fours, a smile emerging on Valerie's face as she looks down on her opponent with destain. She then pulls Jade back up. Cranking on the neck, Valerie slowly twists herself back to back with Jade, falling back with a Rude Awakening! Jade again holds her neck, as Valerie lounges back on Jade... 1... 2... KICKOUT! "YYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" This time, Valerie takes issue with the count, refusing to believe that a mere trainee would kickout at 2 on a fair count. Valerie then climbs back to her feet, bringing Jade slowly up. "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" Valerie reacts violatily to the chants, taking her frustrations out on Jade with another elbow to the back of the cranium. Falling to her knees, Jade shoots for a leg, but too weakly to trouble Val. She kicks Jade off, brushing her boot across the face of Jade before pulling her back up again. A hard forearm leaves Jade reeling. A second forearm has her staggered, allowing Valerie to take a step back, measuring a harder third forearm that knocks Jade off her feet. The lack of in-ring time is showing for J-Ro right now, as she's a sitting duck. Valerie backs off the ropes, leaping high with a legdrop across the throat. Cradling a leg, Valerie keeps her leg across the throat and packages Jade up... 1... 2... KICKOUT AGAIN! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" LEON There we go sis! COLE Valerie is looking more and more frustrated by the second as Jade Rodez clings desperately on in this match. Hugely frustrated, as she rips off her right elbowpad, tossing it to the canvas and screaming at Jade to get up. Out on the floor, Genérico and Constance continue to brawl around ringside, leaving Jade and Val to it. Jade grits her teeth and pulls herself up, bad neck and all. As she reaches her feet, Valerie meets her, reaching around with a knee to the gut. Over doubles Jade, as Val grabs the arm, reaching through and lacing it through Jade's legs into a pumphandle position. Smiling, Valerie gives the signal for the end. Valerie reaches back, hooking up the second arm before lifting. And finding the not too slender Jade Rodez a tough person to lift. Jade kicks her feet just to make it that bit harder. From nowhere, Jade then counters, hiptossing Valerie over the back. Valerie clings onto the holds on the arms though, pulling Jade down into a Pumphandle style Oklahoma Roll... 1... 2... Jade shoots her free shoulder up at 2 and 3/4s! Both women scramble up, Val already prepared with her padless arm, throwing an elbow strike. Jade beats her to it with a knee to the gut though, before taking the arm and pulling it into a cobra clutch! LEON She must have watched that Sgt Slaughter tape I gave her! COACH You gave her a Sgt Slaughter tape? LEON Yeah, where'd you think I learnt my 450 from? COLE I thought it was Hulk Hogan? LEON Hulk Hogan? What the hell are you smoking, Mickey? Yeesh! Flailing around in the cobra clutch, Valerie tries to grab whatever ropes she can get to. Valerie is unable to get there though. Jade pulls Val into the centre of the ring, cobra clutch still applied. Leaning her opponent forward, Valerie leaves Jade hanging with the blood rushing to her head to add to he sapping effects of the hold. Suddenly, Jade then yanks Valerie back, dropping to one knee and bringing Valerie across the knee with a Cobra Clutch Backbreaker!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" LEON ... COLE What a move! LEON ...okay, I sure didn't teach her that. Jade seems too busy worrying about her neck as Valerie lies motionless beside her, the crowd screaming at J-Ro to get on her. Which eventually she does, making a desperate lateral press, presence of mind to hook a leg... 1... 2... KICKOUT! "OOOOHHHHHHHH!!" Groans fill the crowd, despite Valerie being out pretty comfortably. COLE Only 2. Jade is showing us something here though. Remember, this is her first actual wrestling match and she's sticking in there with Valerie and Constance, albeit it by the skin of her teeth at times. "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" As Valerie gets to her feet, Jade ignores the pain and scoops her up, with a women's style scoop slam. I.e, very basic. Still, it keeps Valerie down, as Jade stands clutching her neck again. Jade then hits the ropes, looking to capitalise on her grounded opponent. She suddenly clatters face-first to the canvas though, as Constance trips her leg from the outside out of view of the referee! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The crowd get on Constance's case, as she tries to look as innocent as possible when questions from the referee come her way. Constance rolls into the ring as Jade pulls herself up, clotheslining her from behind. Down goes Jade, holding her neck, as Constance checks on Valerie. Once she's sure her partner is okay, she then turns around... ...to find El Chica Genérico hurtling through the air, catching Constance's head between her legs as she flashes past, bringing her around and down with a Flying Hurricanrana!! COLE Magnifico! RODEZ Si. COACH ...uhm...err...HOLLA~! Genérico hops back to her feet. But before she gain her bearings, Valerie is back up and charging. Hooking her arm around Genérico's throat, Valerie lunges, bringing her down across her knee with an STO into a Backbreaker! Rolling around in agony, Genérico seems to be taken care of, so Valerie drags Jade up from the canvas. On is slapped a front facelock, Valerie shakes, rattles and rooolllss...but her momentum takes the move too far, Jade rolling all the way through the neckbreaker and pushing Valerie off. Stumbling backwards, Val puts on the brakes and tries for her STO/Backbreaker move again. Jade ducks under the arm though, waiting for Valerie to turn around before firing off a quick, sudden and totally unexpected Gamengiri (Front Enziguri to the face)!!! Valerie is knocked loopy, the crowd going nuts as the hurting Rodez drops on top with a pinfall... 1... 2... LEGDROP TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD FROM CONSTANCE!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" LEON Damnit! COLE The referee has lost complete control of this match here! Jade remains slumped over Valerie. But Constance grabs her by the hair and pulls Jade off of her partner, bringing her to her knees and placing her in a standing headscissors. The crowd know what's coming and will El Chica Genérico to get up and make a save. But she's under the bottom rope, writhing in agony. Allowing Constance to butterly the arms, lifting Jade up with some noticeable effort before placing her hands over the thighs of Jade... *WHAM!* ...and SPIKING her with the Package Piledriver!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Jade jumps off the canvas, not through her own accord of course, crumpling onto her back motionless. From there, it's academic... 1... 2.. 3! *DINGDINGDING* The bell rings as Constance pushes herself to her knee, a wry smile disguising her obvious surprise at the fight this young trainee has put up tonight, a slight shake of the head visible as she rolls away. Constance takes Valerie by the arm and drags her from the ring, the duo making their exit, before El Chica Genérico can get near them to make a belated save. BUFFER Your winner of this contest...THE MINNESOTA... AAAANNGGEEELLLSSSSSSS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Well, a brave fight put up by Jade Rodez but in the end, experience told. LEON That's cool. I'll tell you what Michael, she might not have won, but right now I'm proud as punch with my little sis. Two months and change of training, on top of a couple of months a couple of years ago...and she gave one hell of a performance. She didn't give up, she showed real fight, she used a cobra frikking clutch which was pure awesomeness. It's all about paying dues and learning lessons...and tonight, she did both. COLE Well, Leon, we'll let you go and check on your sister, but thanks for joining us tonight. LEON Aw, no problem Mickey. Coach...peace out, a-town down, YAY-UH~! COACH WORD~! Leon leaves Sofa Central, rolling into the ring and checking on his sister with Genérico. The Minnesota Angels have their win and are back to looking smug and cocky as ever. But they know they've been in a fight tonight and they don't boast too much as they leave. Well...okay, maybe they do. But they were in a fight. As The Angels leave meanwhile, Jade is helped to her feet by Genérico and Leon, held up as she grabs her neck with a big grimace on her face... ...to applause from the fans. COLE These OAOAST fans showing their appreciation for a gutsy effort. And in 2 or 3 months, with a little more training and some in-ring seasoning, there's no reason why Jade Rodez can't be a major player in the Women's Division.

Backstage, Josh "J Math" Matthews is standing by with the two newest Upstarts in the OAOAST, Christian Wright and HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion Bohemoth. MATTHEWS Okay, Christian...what we saw last week on your part was shocking to say the least. You and Bohemoth joined forces with Drek Stone and The Global Party Exchange to beat down Black T. But, before we get to that, there's a question that you need to answer. Namely, the challenge made by Leon Rodez last week. He wants you at Angleslam...the question is, are you going to accept? WRIGHT I would love to accept Leon Rodez's challenge towards me. However... MATTHEWS However? WRIGHT However, meaning 'in whatever manner or degree, nevertheless, in any degree'...I unfortunately am not able to do so. For you see, last week, if you review the footage you will discover that I tragically suffered an injury that will keep me out of action for the foreseeable future. MATTHEWS You're trying to say that you got injured last week from sneak attacking Black T? WRIGHT No no. The injury occured soon afterwards. In his evident frustration, Drek Stone obtained a cup of coffee and hurled it to the ground in close proximity to myself. I slipped on the coffee, tearing my MCL. *points out kneebrace* So, unfortunate as it may be, Leon Rodez, I cannot commit to a match with you at this point. However, having spoken to doctors and physicians at length in the past week, I have been given suitable recovery times. And, if the offer were to be extended again in...3, 4...maybe 5 months, I will gladly accept. Josh doesn't know what to make of any of this...until, suddenly, GM Calvin Szechstein has arrived! CALVIN I didn't understand a word of what you just said, so forgive me if I missed anything. But, you're telling me that you've torn your ACL? WRIGHT Yes Mr Szechstein, that is unfortunately true. CALVIN Really? WRIGHT Yes. Bohemoth tries to point something out to Wright, but apparantly isn't heard. CALVIN So...you have a torn ACL...AND, a torn MCL? WRIGHT Wh...Wha...? CALVIN You said you tore your MCL, but now you're saying you tore your ACL. Call me suspicious, but something stinks around here. No note has been recieved from your doctor. No word has come from you to head office not to be booked on house shows or HeldDOWN. Hell, I swear I saw you drive out of the arena last week. With a torn MCL and a torn ACL. So, if you're gutsy enough to drive a car with such 'serious' 'injuries'...then, I'm sure you can manage to compete at Angleslam against Leon Rodez. WRIGHT I don... CALVIN Infact, let me rephrase that. I hope you can manage to compete at Angleslam, against Leon Rodez. Because as new GM, I want Angleslam to be the greatest show of the year, hands down. I want my first PPV in control to blow all others out of the water. Matches like you versus Leon Rodez can do that. So, I'm going over your head here Christian, I'm forgoing the whole 'Guy makes challenge, other guy accepts' deal. Officially, as of right now, I'm booking that match for Angleslam. Leon Rodez versus Christian Wright...is on...at Angleslam. Cal begins to walk off, but smiles and turns back around. CALVIN Oh, and...get well soon. Off walks Calvin, leaving Wright fuming. Angrily, Wright tears off his fake kneebrace and hurls it off camera. WRIGHT Fine. In that case...I'll take Leon Rodez on at Angleslam. And he will regret the day that he dared challenge me!

It says 134. And always has done. *walks away whsitling*

Burchill is apparantly 6'4" - 281 lbs, where-as Nigel is 6'1" - 220ish lbs.

Hmm, good point. Missed that one. Consider it fixed. NOW DEFEND THEM ALREADY, SHEESH!

Rando is actively writing matches for the fed. Toxx and Drea are not. Therefore, your winner by contribution...RANDO! EDIT: But, seriously...it may need a little tweaking to make it work. But, there's also scope to do a promo before a match stating that Walters can strike first in a particular match, because let's say for example Landon has been a jerk towards Megan, or that ELM has been ruthlessly attacking people. Besides, it's not like all Hindus are honest. Yeah, but that's real life karma, not 'character progression' karma.

Man, I really shouldn't have been watching that best of the 80s DVD. There's at least 3 matches on that one DVD alone that end with blood stoppage. So, yeah, I haven't seen Ejiro around in forever so I figured if he's not around, it wouldn't be right to j0b him out. Hence the finish.

Well, if Hogan went back to the WWF during the Monday Night Wars, the buzz would have been huge, so I guess he had a point.

I don't blame Bischoff for caving into Hogan's demands, because let's face it, no promoter in the world is going to risk losing Hulk Hogan if they can help it...certainly not in 1997/8ish anyway. (Sure, there was Mr America in 03, but besides that.) If WCW had lost Hogan, then Vince would have snapped him up and given him as much creative control as he liked. And, at the time, Hogan still had a lot to offer Hogan. He wasn't a superb draw like in the 80s, sure, but he was still doing something for the company. And besides that, if Bischoff had stood up to Hogan and Hogan had left, he wouldn't have been the only one. A lot of Hogan's friends would have followed. In retrospect, it might not have been that bad of a thing. From Bischoff's POV, you lose Hogan, you lose a huge piece of the NWO. Ditto Nash, although to a lesser extent. From Bischoff POV, if Nash (and Hall) left because they didn't get their own way, Vince probably would have brought them in and used them to push WWF ahead in the ratings. Everything else like the cheque books and the treatment of Flair (Horsemen vs. NWO would have drawn huge IMO, had they not been jobbed out.) is on Bischoff's shoulders.

Also, I mistook this guy for Frigid (and according to Slayer, he's not, so whatever) which pretty much says it all for his entertainment level.

Polkaroo

Yeah, Invader's idea worked okay for Raven, but Raven wasn't completely incompetent in the ring and could actually cut a promo without sounding like William Shatner with a sore throat.

American Football > anything else, in terms of being over-hyped. Also, Hoff sucks.

I'm beginning to wane a little, if only because I've got more access to TNA, to indie wrestling and to older stuff. Week to week it's getting more and more tiring to put up with though. The only real hope of a sudden upswing is for people to give TNA a chance when it gets it's TV deal, without expecting 1997 WCW NWO era first show. If TNA get more popular, the WWE will have to up their game at the least and that's what the business needs. As far as the arguement on here goes, it's not 'new fans' that aren't 'real fans'. People who stop wrestling as soon as the WWE gets bad aren't 'real fans'. There's plenty of better alternatives out there if people make the effort to look. And it's the real fans that make the effort to buy tapes or search websites or even visit local indy promotion for different sources. People who assume WWE is the be all and end all of wrestling are missing out.

GAB also had a blood feud in Eddie/Rey. JBL isn't the only one at fault. The entire brand is a turn-off right now, not just one guy.

Hmm, Daniels vs. Aries just doesn't grab me for some reason. Daniels vs. Sydal would be a true X-Division match, enough of a contrast in styles without being a mess. Daniels vs. Strong would be really interesting, even if Strong isn't a typical X-Division worker. Aries is only 3rd on my wantlist and that's only because I haven't seen much of Jay Lethal. I like Aries, he's obviously a great wrestler, but Daniels vs. Aries wouldn't convince me to buy this PPV any more than Daniels vs. Sydal and Daniels vs. Strong would. Now, if they brought in Aries to wrestle Shelley instead of Shocker then that'd win me over instantly.

See, I've never watches baseball that closely, so that was just first impressions. Consider me proved wrong. EDIT: I also doesn't spells good neither.

Oh. Goody. Zandig. Looks like a couple of decent shows. They have to add Darkness Crabtree to the CHIKARA card though. No CHIKARA show is complete without Darkness Crabtree.

Well, not that I'd knowing because I tried watching baseball once and it did nothing for me at all...but, throwing a baseball, there are different types of throws but not drastically different types of throwers. Do they put spin and stuff on a pitch? I'm not sure why you would because you're not really looking for someone to edge a ball but just to throw it real fast past them so the guy behind catches it 3 times. Or, at least, that's how it seems.

Only the person throwing the ball is called a bowler, the equivalent of being a pitcher in baseball I guess. Only, without the hilarity of Americans reguarly 'playing catcher and pitcher with each other'. Oh, and the steroids, of course. They're called bowlers, because it's an overarm throw, with more technique than just huzzing a ball at someone full pelt like in baseball.

What's the deal with the Tag Titles guys? Are they still active or did I miss something in recent promos? It's just, W&D haven't teamed since winning the belts and Johnny's turned heel.