Rawknight

I am absolutely terrified that this was posted in complete seriousness. Compared to ice rinks, pokeball cells, the deck of a sailing ship and numerous other things too silly to mention, a fight in Ye Olde Salutation Inn on Metal Karaoke night isn't THAT daft.

What about a bar room brawl... Hell In The Sal?

Hey don't forget I'm NOT the Maori. Except for the big fat gut. If I ever did a character based on me, it would inevitably lead to a Hell In Will's Appartment match, right Toxx?

I don't change my socks as often as Taiga changes her SN!

I still they they should have had PAC in the Vulture Squad. And Helios would have been a better CHIKARA choice than Jigsaw. Corkscrew 630, Shooting Stardust AND Double Moonsault in the same stable?

If anyone wants to advance any angles with Da Champ, PM Me. Otherwise my promo will be threats, insults and random shouting in Maori. As opposed to threats, insults and random shouting in Maori at someone

It's interesting to compare my match with Alexander's, because we dealt with TMSOTM's home support totally differently. I had Da Maori heel it up more, Alexander had both wrestlers play their normal roles but with totally opposite crowd resposes to normal. So mine was more Joe/Booker in Houston, Alexander's was more heel Bret wrestling in Canada. All it needed was Mak saying "This is Biazzroland!" I look forward to facing you again, sir!

If there ever was a time for a losing match thread, it's Genesis. I'd love to read Alexander's match.

You mean I actually had time to pull another thousand words out of my brain? D'oh!

Later than him (I did ask for an extension though) and a little underbudget (but still the longest match I've written since Va'aiga vs Danny). May the best man win.

Are we allowed celebrity guests? Like say Metallica turning up to do Alexader's entrance?

Just a thought... does Genesis have a theme song yet? I'd vote for The Day That Never Comes, but then I've been hammering Death Magnetic recently.

I had a look once. It confused me. And then I ended up PAW champion at inside pulse instead.

Be a lot easier on a GC controller if Smash Bros and Mario Kart are anything to go by.

Joe vs Booker in Houston anyone?

Sneakers AND guns in the same song? That's timesaving... I'd have to listen to Never Scared and Airforce Ones (Or Straight Outta Compton and My Adidas if I was feeling old school)

25 or 6 to 4 > Don't Stop Believin' And I usually hate Chicago. And Journey. And Mr Mister. And Toto. And Asia. And Starship. Especially Starship.

But, if you disguise it as an inverted atomic drop and just knee them in the gonads halfway up, nobody'll be any the wiser. I don't watch a whole lot of actual lucha. Like, Mexican stuff. But that's one thing I've come to learn from watching like 2 CMLL matches and 2 or 3 AAA matches. Whereas dropping down to the mat, grabbing your crotch, howling in pain and complaining to the rudo ref is a good way to pick up a DQ win.There's a fine example of this in CHIKARA's King of Trios last year.

Full Lucha rules 2/3 falls To win a fall you must pin/submit BOTH members of the opposite team In a match with more than two people a side one member of each team is designated the captain. You either win a fall by pinning/submitting the captain or all other members of his team. A wrestler whose feet have touched the floor outside the ring has tagged out and another member of his team must enter the ring. You can also tag normally. A low blow/"foul" is an INSTANT DQ, no messing about. Same goes for a piledriver/maritente. This includes tombstones. These tend to be sold like death itself. Excessive Punishment (Castigo excesivo), ie beating the crap out of the opponent without attempting to actually win is a DQ offence too. As is removal of the opponent's mask. Two refs to watch over all this chaos. One of whom is usually a rudo.

See, THIS guy gets it! If I can ever convince a certain other to book you all in a Torneo Cibernetico, don't think I won't. Tod, cheers, we'll stick you down for marking IL/Punk. If Glacier, One Man Gang and Demolition turn up randomly I will know who to blame

Interesting doesn't even begin to cover it...

Now I REALLY want to read IL's match. That's 1-1 in horribly close call matches, dude

Congrats to Taiga. And trust me the ME will be worth waiting for. I was very happy with my match so if I've won I hope you like it and if I've lost I KNOW you'll like ILs

Hey I resent that - I'm a thirty year old white rocker from Britain. And as for Fat Joe, well yes I know, he can flow, he can flow, he can flow. I've met Andy Cairns from Therapy? He's TINY. I was going to meet Huey Morgan from the Fun Lovin' Criminals but he was too stoned to leave his dressing room (he's friends with one of my circle) I've danced to the Sex Pistols with Vince Neil. And watched Mick Mars try to pick up indie kids and fail cos none of them had ANY idea who he was.

One spotlight from underneath dimly lights a hooded figure, crouched in the centre of a wrestling ring. A deep, growling Trans-Pacific accent slowly emanates from the massive form. The voice has more than a hint of anger, not that this is anything unusual considering the source. Va'aiga: Bullshit and drama. It's all bullshit and drama. And this is one Maori who has had enough. Va'aiga throws the hood back on his robes and glowers at the camera intensely. Va'aiga: Toxxic. I don't give a flying fuck what that Puerto Rican told you. And business between us outside the wrestling ring is none of your business. All I'm gonna say is I ended up spending another night of my life in a jail cell. Memories of my youth came flooding back to me. It don't matter if the cops are New Zealanders or Puerto Rican, I fuckin' HATE being locked down for the night. But all that time left me thinking. I have this world title shot on the horizon, and the last thing I need is that pissy little shit messing with my chance, my opportunity, MY DESTINY. And I know that Rickman is one of the toughest little bastards in the industry. So there I am stuck in a cell, contemplating life and titles and a thought jumps into my head. LIGHTS! The camera pulls back and the arena lights go on revealing that the Maori is standing in the middle of THE NO ESCAPE CELL! Va'aiga: RICKMAN? You always like to keep it hardcore. Well I'm hardcore to MY VERY BONES! You put me through that flaming table and I WILL EXACT MY REVENGE IN BLOOD! See I know you're always ready for a challenge, and damn my culture is all about challenges. So what do you say? 20 by 20 by 20 of unforgiving steel. 8,000 cubic feet of pain. Two guys enter. One leaves with the belt, the other ON A GURNEY! No rules, no restrictions except one. NO RUNNING. You game? Because I want the challenge of taking you on, scratch that TAKING YOU OUT in one of the most brutal environments wrestling has to offer. And I know you're a hell of a lot more comfortable when you can go sneaking under that ring and fetch that ol' piece of hardware you call “Excalibur”. And I look forward to the time you do. Now for the little matter of SIN. I know you like to spout in your own language... well guys in post production, you're gonna have to get busy 'cuz I love spouting off in mine. Subtitles are overlaid across the bottom of the screen for clarity of non Maori viewers... Va'aiga: SIN! Matou mohio e koe mate, kia tutaki ano taua (Everyone but you knows the next time I see you, you are dead) Kaore he wahi o tera ki a koe, whawhai e te “Insane Luchador” (My fight with the Insane Luchador is none of your business) Kia hiwa ra, haerenge mai mau! (Be aware, I am coming for you) Na te Maori tou tenei tikanga te taua (Revenge is the Maori way) I te heke e te toto, pakarutia e wheua (Blood will flow, bones will be broken) He kupu tūpato tēnei ki a tonu koe. (This is your only warning) Va'aiga pauses and then uncurls his hand into the Shaka sign Va'aiga: BOO-YAH!