Rawknight

ummm.... ¡MI CASA! ¡MI CASA! ¡MI CASA!

Vay-ing-uh (long a like "eye")

Va'aiga's name - You say it like it's got an N in the middle of it. From what I know -ga and -nga are spelt the same in Maori. I've heard All Black winger Tana Umaga pronounced as Umanga, and the guy Va'aiga is named after Va'aiga Tuigamala is known as Inga the Winger TOURNAMENT MATCH Geddion vs. Tryst Tryst. The Sherrif of Nottingham is my local councillor. Figurehead political title nowadays though. TOURNAMENT MATCH Fosta vs. "Dark Rebel" Terry Wayne Fosta. TOURNAMENT MATCH David Blazenwing vs. Omega Storm Omega Storm. The guy gets NO luck in close matches, and deserves a win as much as anyone in the fed. TOURNAMENT MATCH Christian Blackwell vs. "Picture Perfect" Aaron Carpenter Blackwell i think. TRIPLE THREAT FILLER MATCH WITH BADASS MAORI DEBUT Aecas vs. Va'aiga vs. Thor MY HOUSE! MY HOUSE! MY HOUSE! CRUISERWEIGHT RULES MATCH Sean Atlas vs. "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins vs. Matt Myers I'm going for Atlas, but it'll be a DAMN close call. My "Losers better post on a thread" match of the card #1 CONTENDER MATCH - SJL WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP SINGLES MATCH Dace Night vs. Janus Special Guest Commentator: El Luchadore Magnifico Janus. Never bet against Janus. MAIN EVENT BORDER RUN MATCH Mike Van Siclen vs. Crow The Bird

Dace'll probably tell me i'm wrong, but it looks like a Hangman Neckbreaker (kneeling) and a front facelock (chancery) being applied at the same time.

A cold crisp Canadian morning. Chris Card walks briskly through the streets of Toronto, driven and purposeful, scowling broadly and taking long swift strides. Occasionally Card winces with the pain from his back, following the beating he took at the hand of Sean Atlas, but that doesn’t slow him down. Struggling along behind is Natasha, even with her superior cardiovascular conditioning she can’t keep pace with the determined and grimacing Card. Natasha speaks, half gasping, half with her usual nails down glass nasal New Jersey accent. Natasha: Chris. Slow Down. Pleeeeeease. Chris Card: Slow down. I’m off to train. Keep your damn ass in gear and keep up with me, damnit. Natasha: Chriiiiiiiiiis. Pleeeeeeeeeeeease. Chris Card: Oh, I’m so sorry. I thought with all that extra cardio excersise would able you to keep up with me. Natasha: What? Card stops and allows Natasha to catch up. Card grabs he and looks harshly into her face, and Natasha avoids Card’s steely gaze. Chris Card: You don’t understand? Natasha: No. Chris Card: Don’t think I’m blind to what you’ve been up to. Whoring your way around the federation like some sleazy-ass saloon bar slut. Natasha raises an eyebrow and her voice. Natasha: Since when has my sex life been YOUR business? I’ve seen you turn up to training late day after day after waking up with some slutty fucking blonde in your bed. Don’t you bitch out ME for having a little fun. Chris Card: yeah but I always made it up in training. I always put the hours in. I’m a true professional, I work hard. Natasha: And you’re saying I’m not? Chris Card: I’m saying that since you started fucking Crow you’ve taking your eye WELL off the ball. And now you’re with Dace? Natasha: I’m NOT with Dace. That’s all rumours and lies, damnit! Chris Card: I don’t give a fuck either way. You’re failing in your task as a manager. You’re getting yourself over at my expense. You’re getting yourself laid at my expense. You’re no longer an asset. You’re becoming a liability. Natasha: Oh is that so Mr Technical Perfection? Natasha puts her hands on her hips and stands defiant. Natasha: Because I’ve been bailing your ass out of trouble for two damn years now. Chris Card: Yeah you used to be useful. Used to be. Before you started putting yourself first. Natasha: And what’s so long with that? Chris Card: You’re supposed to be my second. You’re supposed to helpme, not help your own damn sex life by fucking every skanky goth loser in the federation. Every time you see Crow, Dace, hell why not even preachy ass Atlas or Aecas, you’re creaming your god damn pants and you’re not concentrating on what really matters. What really matters is ME. If you weren’t such a distraction I wouldn’t be a FORMER champion. If you had the guts to do anything above getting in my god damn way I wouldn’t have lost to Dace and I could be WORLD champion. Natasha: You think you can survive without me? Chris Card: I can survive without you. I can survive without this whole federation. Think I’m gonna hang around to watch you make me SICK with that damn freak Crow? You know what, I’m going back to training, to working my own damn schedule and to training the next generation of Chris Cards. Natasha: You’re leaving the SJL? Chris Card: Yeah. And though I might come back some day, I just don’t need any of this shit right now. Natasha: And how does this affect me, all this headfuck problems YOU have? Chris Card: How does this affect you? In one way only. You’re free to hang around with Crow. You’re free to MANAGE Crow. You’re free to do whatever the hell you like. Why? YOU’RE FIIIIIIIIIIRRRRED Card storms off into the distance, leaving a shocked looking Natasha standing in the cold air, her breath freezing on the wind. Natasha: Bastard.

I liked your match Aecas. Course I liked Atlas' too Nice to see you both followed my instructions AND put me over a bit on commentary! Rock on!

HSJ... Why Atlas (hopefully) *grins* something you're not saying here?

Props to everyone... Great Card, and great use of Card Any chance of Aecas putting his match on the losers thread? I'd be interested to see what he wrote. *Thinking about writing a new intro*

Cut in on an Australian hotel room. Five Star accommodation for celebrity guests, and the home of a small impromptu party. Lounging nearly horizontal, beer held lazily in hand across one of the black leather sofas that fill the suite is a rough looking wrestler with long straggly hair, an unkempt goatee beard, dirty black jeans and a ragged t-shirt bearing the legend “Revolution Wrestling School.” Sat upon another chair, leaning back and contented with a cold tinny of beer in his own hand sits a massive Maori, his arms covered in tribal tattoos, his head shaved save for a small triangle of hair at the front of his skull. The New Zealander wears an All-Black rugby shirt and black Adidas training pants. He stares across the room at the occupant of a second chair. The occupant in question wipes a loose strand of hair back away from his face and re-adjusts his pony-tailed long black mane of hair. He takes a long swig of his Molson Canadian beer, breathes in and strokes an errant hand through the overgrown stubble that frames his own goatee. Watching himself on the TV screen applying a solid heel hold to the gigantic wrestler Janus, the glint of gold in his eyes, the steely determination on his face, the bestubbled wrestler turns to his compadres and raises a question. Chris Card: Well people, what did you think? Va’iga: You are SO the man Chris! Rob Knight: The second Nats waived that gold belt up, you could just see that look in your eyes man. There was no way the big man was gonna avoid that tap. Card: You know man, hearing that from the rest of the CoW, it’s still a good feeling. How long is it now? Knight: Four long years. Since then we’ve seen the big man pick up a couple of tag straps and some hardcore stuff, you’ve got tag straps in two different places and some singles gold, and the trainees of all of you guys are kicking ass worldwide as we speak. Card: How are my boys the business getting on? Knight: They’re cool. The whole Chris Schett and Holly gimmick is getting over huge in the mid south indy scene. Card *affecting a high voice*: DON’T CALL ME THAT! Knight: Holly Schett! Holly Schett! Card: How’s little V? Va’iga: He’s a married man Chris! Him and Serena got hooked up. Card: No way. Va’iga: AND they got a kid now. Knight: Congrats to the nappy head. Va’iga: Hows that goth you hang around with? Card: Oh don’t ask man. She’s been hanging around with this sick bladejob freak. They’re a totally sickening couple. Knight: They’re all lovey dovey? Card: No they draw blood and lick it up and shit. I’ve seen the EBM scene close up following that damn woman to HER clubs when we’ve been touring and shit, and she’s been rocking out like a bad ’un when she’s had the chance too, but this whole Natasha/Crowe thing., well it fucking sucks. It’s taking her off her game. It’s taking me off MY game. She’s lost focus, and you know focus is all that Chris Card’s about. She really wasn’t a major factor in me taking that strap. Va’iga: Well you don’t NEED her help do you. Knight: Shit man, you’re technical perfection. Card: Yeah that’s right, but you know, she’s a shortcut. Like kicking a guy in the ‘nads. Hey I don’t need to do it. I’m the best damn wrestler there is out there. Takes a home town and a fast count to beat Chris Card. But you know, hell, if there’s shortcuts to be taken, it’s the same win pay whether it takes 5 minutes with cheating or 10 without. Va’iga: Hell yeah. Knight: Like you’d know, you don’t cheat well. Va’iga: Well I just like wrapping chairs round skulls! Card: I dunno what to do with her. You know she turned the career around. It’s the Gothic Diva that made this upper midcard sleazeball heel into the main event star you see today. But this whole Crow business is a strain man. I don’t want to be left teaming with some bloodsack just to keep my valet happy. But she’s a bonus. I dunno man, I dunno. Knight: Are ya fucking her? Card: No way man, she’s warped. Va’iga: Is she helping ya? Card: Well recently, not as much as she could. Knight: You and the Goth One need to have a long chat my friend. Now who’s for some memories? Rob Knight waves a tape in the air and then slings it at Card who slides it into his hotel room’s tape deck. The picture comes on, accompanied by much Japanese talk. The camera angle spins to show the three men in the room, four years previous, and in their old ring attires. The announcer calls them out in broken English. Ring Announcer: “Representing the Commonwealth of Wrestlers….. From Canada… CHRIIIIIIIIIS CAAAAAAARD… From the United Kingdom ROOOOOOOOB KNIIIIIIIIGHT… From New Zealand.. VAAAAAA’IIIIIIIIIGAAAAAAAA!” Card: Man those Canada tights are so dorky. Knight: Man those Union Jack shorts are so… William Regal! Va’iga: Dudes, let’s just watch us kick ass, and leave our current problems behind us. As the three relive old memories and mull over current successes the scene fades out…

OPENING PROMO OF COOLOSITY Where there's so many cool people here this is bound to be a great promo. Of course not a Technically Perfect promo *grin* NEWBIE MATCH OF DOOM~! Fosta vs. Tryst OH NOTTINGHAM! IS FULL OF FUN! OH NOTTINGHAM IS FULL OF FUN! THERE'S TITS FANNY AND WRESTLING! OH NOTTINGHAM IS FULL OF FUN! But why no Bow and Arrow Submission? EUROPEAN TITLE #1 CONTENDERSHIP Aecas vs. Sean Atlas Special Guest Referee: Chris Card [/incharacter] Chris Card: Sean Atlas has tons of potential. I like him. Natasha: It has to be Aecas. [/incharacter] PUNISHMENT MATCH #1 - THE KANGAROO JACK MATCH Dace Night vs. Matt Myers Dace I think! HARDCORE FILLER MATCH Christian Blackwell vs. Omega Storm Omega Storm PUNISHMENT MATCH #2 - THE BALL CRAWL MATCH Crow vs. Insane Luchador vs. Spike Jenkins Backing the bird is never a bad idea! MAIN EVENT SJL WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH NO-DQ, NON-INTERFERENCE Janus vs. Mike Van Siclen Janus. And why not? Off to edit in a new finisher. Decided I NEED a full on submission!

I've been in crippling pain due to the inside of my mouth falling apart. I had to go and get some emergency shots to numb the whole thing down for a few hours before the drugs kicked in. And THEY don't work (9:30 AM still no sleep). Grit, determination, a bit of begging and sheer bloody mindedness allowed me to put the match in. MASSIVE Props to Janus for posting a loss just to make sure something got posted if I did no show. I hope to make my first defence less rushed and flow right (that's 2 in a row i've fucked up the flow of, damnit)

Didn't Toryumon do a Crazy MAX vs M2K vs Toryumon 4 vs 4 vs 4 match once? Correct me if i'm wrong; Not really my field of expertise, and if it DID happen it was probably at Korauken, where anybody EVER can draw 2,000.

They bumped me, they REALLY bumped me Former SJL Heavyweight Champ Now SWF Superstar... See you in the big leagues folks

::oK, i'm a div. A fucking div. A div of the highest order. I was chasing the deadline, and didn't check the word limit, wrote a 6,000 word match and then had to take a butcher knife to it. Broke the flow of the match and probably helped cost me the match, not that Dace's wasn't groovetastic:: Funyon: The following match is scheduled for one fall, with the winner advancing in the World Championship tournament. Introducing first, he hails from Birmingham, England… This is greeted with a huge hometown pop from the fans. Funyon: He weighs in at 254lbs, or 18 stone and 2lbs. He is Horrorcore, he is DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! Suicide King: What is a stone Axis? Axis: It’s a measurement of weight. It’s 14lbs. Suicide King: I heard that David was a whole 14lbs lighter than Goliath. Axis pauses. Suicide King: The spare stone made all the difference! “Winds of Creation” by Decapitator fires up across the speakers and the entrance ramp is filled with alternating purple and red light. Dace Night walks into the entrance area and the crowd explodes in a chorus of cheers, a near roof raising pop for the local hero. Dace walks slowly and purposefully towards the ring, handing his trench coat to one of the ring assistants. Dace slides into the ring and flashes the devil sign to all four sides of the arena. A huge “DACE! DACE! DACE!” chant fills the arena and Dace grins to himself and soaks up the cheers. Axis: Dace Night the huge local favourite here! Suicide King: What do these people know? Nothing! Axis: Dace has shown himself to be one of the most deadly athletes in the SJL. Dace Night is a dangerous man. Suicide King: But he’s no match technically for Chris Card! Axis: Admittedly, if this was a match with more extreme elements, I’d feel safe putting money on the master of Horrorcore, but in a standard match, who knows? Funyon: His opponent hails from Halifax, Nova Scotia in Canada. He tips the scales at 264lbs or 18st and 2lbs. He is Technical Perfection in human form. He is CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS CAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD! “Grind” by Alice in Chains fires up for the second time this evening. Chris Card walks out into the entrance area, and looks straight down the entrance ramp, his eyes meeting Daces and steely cold glares from both sides meet halfway up the route for Card’s entrance. The crowd boos, encouraged into a negative response to Card by his opening promo. Card enters the ring and the pair circle, neither wanting to risk a loose strike to open and play into the hands of the other grappler. The crowd resumes it’s chant for Dace and Dace claps rhythmically in time with the chant, encouraging it and causing the chant to spread. Card raises an eyebrow towards the crowd, turning his head a second, and Dace charges in, but Card bails quickly, drawing a round of boos. Axis: Cagey start from Card here. Neither man wants to give the early advantage to the other. Suicide King: Sound strategy from Card. Card circles the ring as Dace waits in the middle, and Card slides in and kips up to avoid getting stomped on. Dace again encourages the crowd chant, as the decibel level in the building rises to near cacophonous levels. Finally the pair lock up in a test of strength, with Dace overpowering Card and pushing him backwards. Dance drives Card down to his knees, but Card draws from his ring positioning skills and drapes a leg over the bottom rope, and the referee calls for a break. Dace backs off back to the center of the ring. Axis: Chris Card is a sound ring general, and with the strength advantage of Dace, he’s going to have to use every ounce of his ring sense in this match. Suicide King: Sound strategy from Card. Back in the centre of the ring Dace and Card lock up in a collar and elbow tie up. Chris Card grunts with the exertion expended trying to keep himself steady under the extra power Dace gets, and Card, realizing he has no chance of getting an advantage to the hold kicks out at the shin of Dace. Dace backs off half a step and Card drops down into a more shoot style fighting stance. Card fires off a roundhouse kick at Dace, but the Horrorcore wrestler raises an arm in a defiant block. Card switches stance and fires off another kick with his other leg, but again Dace lifts an arm to block. Dace takes a pace forward towards Card and beckons the big Canadian towards him, but Card responds with a step back, looking to use his reach advantage in a stand up fight against Dace. Dace charges Card, looking for a lariat but again Card slides quickly backwards and out of the ring and Dace stops himself on the ropes and grimaces in frustration. Axis: Card again going to the outside early. I don’t think he wants to face up to Dace, unless he can gain a definite advantage from it. Suicide King: Sound strategy from Card. Axis: You’re obsessed with Card and his sound strategies today. Suicide King: I thought that you needed the help with some more insightful commentary today. Chris Card is a sound ring general and is using his mastery of strategy, so I’m pointing out his uses of sound strategy. Axis: Well that’s…um… err… Suicide King: A brilliantly insightful comment on one of the SJL’s finest wrestling minds, from the SWF’s finest wrestling mind and the SJL’s finest wrestling commentator! Chris Card carefully gets back into the ring making damn sure that Dace Night can’t open with a cheap attack on an open area. Card moves towards Dace and the pair feel for another test of strength, but Card pulls his hands away, aware that the move would give Dace an advantage. The pair close in and go for a second collar and elbow, and this time Dace quickly maneuvers the big Canadian into a side headlock. Card however counters and shoots off Dace into the ropes, but Dace regains control and shapes for a shoulder block. Card bounces off the rebounding Dace and pulls himself into a defensive roll so he returns to his feet quickly. Dace rushes Card lifting up a knee, but telegraphing this running knee lift by a handful of steps gives Card time to bail AGAIN over the top ropes, this time drawing a MASSIVE round of boos from the incredibly subjective home crowd. Suicide King: Sound strategy from Card. Axis: Would you shut up about Card and his sound strategy! He’s just bailing to kill time now. And it’s quite rightfully drawing the ire of Dace’s home town crowd. Suicide King: Would you like me to get back to lecherous comments and stupid analogies? Axis: For once in my life and may God have mercy on my soul for saying this… Yes. Suicide King: Look at that girl in the front row, Axis! She’s got longer legs than the entire Osbourne family put together! Here kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty! Here kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty! Card again picks his timing perfectly for returning to the ring, and again Dace is denied a free strike at the technically minded Canadian. Card stalks Dace and after a few cagey seconds grabs for an arm. Card twists Dace’s arm round with an arm wringer, then moves round again into a hammerlock. Card looks to reach his arm around Dace’s neck, reaching for a very early Cardiac Arrest and the crowd realizing this lets out a collective Brummie ooh. Dace is wise to this tactic and reverses the hammerlock into a standing wristlock, and lashes a knee out towards Card’s stomach, but Card jumps back, both avoiding the knee and gaining enough leverage to reverse the pressure of the hold, dragging Dace round and back into an armwringer. Card lashes out a Crane Wing kick, but Dace ducks the kick and uses Card’s momentum against him, re-reversing the hold and twisting Card round finally into a standing armbar. Dace steps through on Card and uses an armbar takedown into a Fujiwara armbar on the ground. Axis: Dace Night taking the first major advantage in the match, and this has been a major league technical contest so far. Suicide King: If wrestling has psychology, this is Freud versus Jung! I could never be a Freudian. Axis: With your obsession with sex, that’s a surprise. Suicide King: I’ve always been Jung at heart though. Card uses his leg strength to gain a little maneuver room inside the deadly grounded armbar and uses his free arm to grab hold of Dace in an abdominal claw. Dace winces in pain, and Card breaks free as Dace loosens his grip. Card releases the claw revealing a trickle of blood from a barely healed scar on Dace’s solar plexus, and floats round amateur style into a grounded front facelock, holding the move on, and cranking it in, moving into a deep shoot style choke when the referee looks away. Axis: The abdominal Claw not usually a dangerous hold, but given Dace’s injuries in his brutal pay-per-view match it takes on a whole new aspect. Suicide King: Find an advantage and use it, Axis. It’s the secret of wrestling. The referee turns back to Card and spots that his hold is locked in around the neck rather than the chin and starts a 5 count. Card waits sensibly for as much of the 5 as possible before relinquishing the hold. Card stands, and Dace rolls onto his stomach to allow more space for his ribcage, so he can replenish his oxygen with deeper breaths, and Card cuts that out with a lightning fast heel drop to the throat of Dace, leaving the local boy choking and spluttering and the crowd exploding again in a chorus of boos. Card raises his arms in a “What, Me?” pose. Axis: Card denying Dace oxygen with every move here. It’s a way to slow him down, but you have to bend the rules considerably to carry it through. Suicide King: Why deny oxygen to Dace Night’s brain? It’s not like he uses it often. Dace is a little slower than usual to raise, and Card rushes him as the big Brummie reaches a knee, and blasts him in the face with a running knee strike. Card uses a half-majistral to lever Dace back onto his back, lifting a leg up crab style to lock in a Cycling Yahoo hold, then letting Dace’s arm fall loose and concentrating on his half crab. The crowd starts a Dace chant again, as Card wrenches back hard on Dace’s leg. Axis: Dace Night takes a LOT more pain than a simple half crab to quit. Suicide King: This is Japanese style rookie discipline! Seeing as Dace is more experienced in this federation than Card, it’s not just painful, it’s insulting too! Axis: This move doesn’t just hurt the leg though, it hurts the lower back. And Card is notorious for destroying the spinal vertebrae of his opposition. Suicide King: Dace takes a lot of destroying, but then again Dace gets destroyed a lot. Even when the guy wins he gets hurt. Axis: You can see the anguish on Dace’s face! After going back first into C4 explosives, his back has to have been weakened, that’s playing RIGHT into the hand of Chris Card Dace slaps his arm on the mat to warm up the crowd a little, as with Card in solid control they’d died in silent hope for a quick Dace recovery. Dace channels the crowd and summons up enough energy to worm his way out of the hold, flexing his leg out to throw Card off and sends the big Canadian sprawling to the mat. Card kips up as Dace gets up onto his knees, but as Card shapes to fire off one of his Muay Thai style kicks, Dace shoots and takes a leg, taking Card off his feet again. Dace floats round, amateur style and goes for his Crownless neck lock, but Card flips over and bridges upwards, loosening the pressure of the hold, before back flipping to a standing position, forcing a break of the hold. The pair both back off and drop into fighting stances, and the crowd bursts into a round of applause. Axis: The Birmingham crowd appreciating the technical abilities of these two great athletes, especially after both of these wrestlers are coming off extreme matches at the Malice in Wonderland PPV. Dace goes for an arm of Card and whips the large Canadian into the ropes. Card leapfrogs Dace as he rebounds, but Dace sends himself into the far ropes as Card rebounds from the near one and hits a massive Yakuza kick! Card falls backwards and Dace capitalizes with a few stomps and a quick cover. 1…2… Card lifts a shoulder. Dace drags Card roughly back to his feet and, taking time to acknowledge the crowd as he sets it up, floors Card with a northern lights suplex, the snap of Card on the mat echoing round the arena. 1… but Card bridges up again, fighting out of the pin fall predicament. Dace however leaps his body forward and hits an ugly bulldog/neckbreaker cross taking Card back down to the mat. Suicide King: What in the world was THAT? Axis: It was an ugly counter, but nonetheless effective. Suicide King: Its counter upon counter. I love it, Axis! Dace picks Card back up by an arm and whips him into the corner. Dace rushes in with a stiff looking lariat, and then backs off a pace and lashes Card’s chest with a series of stiff knife edge chops. Card’s chest glows bright red as the force of the blows lashes against them, and the crowd breaks out in the customary cacophony of whoos. Dace follows that by a shoulder rush sequence, driving his shoulder hard into Card’s solar plexus, and then finally drops below Card and picks the half slumped wrestler up over his shoulders. Suicide King: One Death Valley Driver coming up! Hold the mustard! Dace winces with the pain of having to lift Card on an already injured back, and Card kicks his feet out off the top rope, spinning Dace a little then dropping down into a Crucifix pin combination! 1…2… and Dace bridges up, reversing the pin combination into a back press 1…2… and Card lifts a shoulder! Dace curses himself and stands up, softening up Card as he stands a little slower with another set of chops, accompanied again by a set of whoos. Dace hits a standing switch, nailing Card with a massive German suplex. Dace bridges, then jackknifes over into a more solid pin 1…2… and Card frees an arm enough to lift a shoulder and fire a couple of elbows into Dace’s lower back. Dace rolls off Card sideways. Axis: Both these men know when to time their kick outs. Suicide King: It’s when you’re pinned, right? That’s when I’ve always used mine! Axis: It’s more than that. It’s a natural feeling for leverage, and knowing not just when you’re pinned, but when any pin predicament is coming so you can prepare that little burst of strength. Suicide King: I already knew that. Dace rises slowly to his feet, grasping his back a little and wincing in pain. Dace sucks it up fast though, and as Card lies on the mat sucking wind a little, Dace is down and stalking him, waiting for Technical Perfection to regain a vertical base. As Card slowly rises to his feet Dace slams a hard knee into his gut, then grabs a side headlock and suplexes Card up, holding him there for a split sentence then bringing him down, Sentencing him! Card grabs hold of his chin and howls in pain, and Dace floats quickly to a cover 1…2…and Card kicks out again. Dace curses the kick out and raises to a knee, looking out to the crowd for inspiration. A fan in the crowd calls out “VENOM DRIVER!” and a smirk crosses Dace’s normally implacable facial expression. Axis: I think that fan has put the thought inside Dace Night’s skull. Suicide King: I can hear it rattle all the way from here, Axis. Dace rolls Card onto his stomach and reaches down, locking both Card’s arms into the butterfly hold. Dace pulls Chris Card up to his feet and lifts him up, exhaling and screaming out a scream of both power and anguish, his back hurting with every running step of his Venom Driver! Card is driven down to the mat hard, and Dace holds for the pin attempt 1…2…3! Axis: Dace Night wins! Dace Night wins! Suicide King: Hold your horses there Axis. The referee sees that Card had freed a hand and placed in on the bottom rope! The ref shakes his head at the ring bell and calls over to Funyon at ringside. Funyon: Due to Chris Card’s hand being on the bottom rope as the pin was counted, the pin fall does not count and the match MUST CONTINUE! The crowd boos as Dace is denied his victory, and Dace himself gives the ref a long, cold, hard stare. Card smirks as he rights himself to a standing position, dragging himself to his feet using the ropes. The Birmingham crowd starts a near universal “Kick his ass Dace Night. Kick his ass!” chant, the full to bursting arena clapping in unison, and Card smiles his cracked gravestone smile. Suicide King: I know what Chris Card is thinking. Axis: Pray tell, oh SWF’s answer to David Blaine. Suicide King: He’s thinking “What a bunch of idiots!” Axis: Very incisive there. Dace regains his feet and hits a Cactus Clothesline on Card, sending the pair to the outside in a crumpled heap on the floor. Dace immediately grabs for a chair, one of the many floating around at ringside and swings for Card, but Card ducks and the clang of steel chair on steel post rings throughout the arena. Card rolls back into the ring, and Dace follows quickly, chair in hand. The referee immediately goes for the chair and wrestles it free from Dace’s hands, much to the chagrin of the crowd. As the referee turns to throw the chair out of the ring Card, always aware of the referee’s positioning, drops to his knees and fires a huge Flairesque uppercut low blow. The crowd are now vehemently booing Card, each face contorted in anger and hatred for the technically minded but unscrupulous Canadian, and Card responds with a smirk before boot scraping the lower back of Dace and synching in a grounded bow and arrow hold. Axis: Dace Night was looking to bring the hardcore element into this match. That could have proved a killer advantage against Card, but I believe the plan has backfired. Suicide King: Dace needs no rules to win, Axis! Chris Card just bends the ones that are there. Axis: I’m sure Dace could win in a fair fight, but Chris Card has gained an unfair advantage here. Suicide King: If the ref didn’t see it, it didn’t happen! Card locks in the Bow and Arrow hold tight, forcing his knees into the back of Dace Night, while pulling back on both his neck and ankles, bending the Birmingham based superstar backward, tensing every muscle, ligament and tendon across his back. Card rocks backwards, elevating the hold and from his new kneeling position he is placed perfectly to flash a malicious grin around three sides of the arena. Dace’s face is contorted into a scrunched up mass of pure anguish, and the implacable star even lets loose a little scream as Card rocks back a second time and locks the hold into it’s inverted form. Gravity and Card’s stretching all pulling against Dace’s back would be enough to make most normal men scream and tap out immediately, but Dace is visibly sucking it up, turning the pain into anger and screaming a defiant no when the referee asks him if he wants to give up. Suicide King: I can feel Dace’s pain from here. And dace rarely feels pain. Axis: Chris Card certainly piling on the pressure here. Card’s shoulders touch the mat for a split second and the referee slaps his hand down onto the mat, signaling a one count against Card, and Technical Perfection shows his technical sense and drops the hold back down to a kneeling Bow and Arrow, before releasing the hold. Card leaves Dace lying there for a fraction of a second, before dropping a heel into his back and then moving into a shoot style back mount, raining a quick series of knees down into Dace’s heavily in pain spinal column. Axis: Somebody fetch the Novocain injections! Chris Card ii trying to dislodge Dace’s vertebrae one by one! Suicide King: I like Chris Card. I’d prefer it if Natasha were here though. She really digs me Axis. Axis: The Gothic Diva is recovering in hospital. And besides she’s more into hardcore bleeding gothic types like Crow! Suicide King: ALL Ladies are into the Suicide King, Axis. The SWF’s original Heartbreaker. Card lifts Dace Night off the ground, and locks in a tight side headlock, then whips Dace over with a quick snap suplex. Card keeps the chancery locked in tight and lifts Dace again, hitting him with a slower vertical suplex, and floating over to cover. 1…2… and Dace kicks out. Card picks up Dace again and lifts him up as if for a Backdrop suplex, but instead just turns it into an Atomic Whip, casually throwing the large Brummie forward and sending him crashing back first to the mat. Card lifts Dace up perpendicular to himself, and parallel to the mat and slams him down forcefully with a side slam. Card riles up the crowd by walking across Dace’s grounded body and then wiping back his hair, flicking a small cascade of sweat onto the fallen Dace in one motion. Axis: Chris Card really winding up this crowd here. Suicide King: A bunch of idiotic locals jeering such a great wrestler. What would they know about Card’s brilliance? They wouldn’t know a hammerlock from a Yale lock. Axis: What’s so technical about disrespecting your opponent? Suicide King: It drives them crazy. That’s the idea. Makes them lose focus. Card waits for Dace to stand, then fires a roundhouse kick in from close range, his massive reach allowing him to wrap his leg round enough to fire a shot into Dace’s back. Card fires another pair of kicks, then steps round Dace, stunning him with a back fist strike as he progresses round, then grabbing one of Dace’s arms and whipping him hard into a corner. Dace howls as his back hits the ring post and Card follows in hitting his trademarked shin, ribs and head kick trifecta, the third kick bringing Dace out a little from the corner. Card slips in behind Dace and sets him for a German suplex, but first muscles the stunned Dace a few steps out into the ring, then hits a massive release German suplex, with Dace going flying, back first, into the turnbuckles! Dace Flair-flops out of the corner, and Card flips him over and covers 1…2… but the local boy is way too close to the ropes and gets a hand up onto them. Axis: Dace Night also showing sound ring positioning there. There are two great ring generals battling it out inside the squared circle there. Suicide King: But with one major difference. Axis: Which is? Suicide King: One of them doesn’t suck! Axis: And that’s Chris Card, right? Suicide King: You’re finally getting it Axis. Both Dace Night and Chris Card get to their feet slowly, Dace through the pain of having his already C4 damaged back seriously worked over, Chris Card a little winded himself from the effort of keeping Dace Night under control. Card fires off a knife hand chop against Dace, but this time the Dean of Horrorcore doesn’t budge. A second chop and again the same result. Card goes for a whip on Dace and Dace do-see-do counters Chris Card’s whip and the Canadian heads ropewards. As Card rebounds Dace hits the master of technical perfection with a wheel powerslam, flattening Card on the mat. 1…2… and Card kicks out. The crowd pops huge for Dace’s comeback and Dace runs into the far ropes, setting himself to hit Card with a stiff running attack as the Canadian rises. Card however ducks down as Dace comes flying towards him, and as Dace hits the near ropes, unable to stop himself as the momentum from the head of steam he had worked up sends him onwards, Card sets himself in a crouch, crosses his heart and as Dace rebounds towards him, snaps off the HEARTBREAKER! Suicide King: HERATBREAKER! He named that move after me you know. Axis: Chris Card stops Dace Night’s comeback quickly there. And the crowd don’t seem happy. Chris Card decides that a cover isn’t going to be worth it, but that he can capitalize on stunning Dace and he drags Dace to his feet, bending Dace sideway and pressing a knee hard into his back. Card cranks up the pressure on his abdominal stretch, then wraps his arm solidly around the neck of the big Brummie, locking in his Stretch Plum! Card wrenches hard, screaming out abuse to the audience, but using each exhalation to enhance the pressure of the hold, like a karate kei-ai, but riling up the audience at the same time in a show of his true heelishness. Axis: The stretch plum is a very dangerous hold. Dace Night is in a tricky situation here and will be hard pressed to get out of it. Suicide King: With Chris Card’s knee hard pressed into his spine! Card drops to his knees, forcing Dace down with him, Dace locked in the anguish of the Stretch Plum hold. Card screams out for the ref to ask Dace if he’s going to quit, and Dace answers with a pained but definite no. Card screams out for Dace to be asked again and Dace again gives a definite no. Card cranks back as hard as he can on the hold, but the pair collapse backwards with Dace landing on Card, as Card does his best starfish impersonation, spent from the exhaustion. Dace lands in a rough back press and the ref counts 1…2… and Card rolls aside instinctively to break the accidental cover. Card rolls outside the ring to recover, breathing heavily. Dace collapses on the mat, and the referee puts a KO count on Dace and a count out on Chris Card. 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… Axis: This could be it here. Both men are breathing heavily and I don’t see clear signs of revival in either of the two combatants. 6… 7… 8… and Dace returns slowly to his feet. 9… and Card slides back into the ring. Card seems still the sprightlier of the two combatants, the break outside refreshing him, whereas Dace appeared to be just shaking off the waves of pain wracking his body. Card approaches Dace carefully, but the Horrorcore superstar seems more concerned with his personal pain, and the small trickles of blood staining his back from his pay per view wounds, reopened with the ferocity of Card’s spinal attacks. Card stalks Dace Night, looking for an opening then fires of a couple of tracer roundhouse kicks, then moves in quickly to hit a backdrop suplex. Card floats over 1…2… and Dace kicks out. Card drags Dace up to a standing position by the hair, earning himself a stern ticking off form the ref in the process. Card tucks his head under Dace’s shoulder, hitting a second backdrop suplex. Card kicks Dace while he’s on the ground forcing him onto his stomach. Card then fires off a flurry of stomps, bloodying the base of his boot and smearing Dace’s blood over his back, giving the effect of a sun burn, albeit one riddled with scars. Axis: Dace Night is a bloody mess. Suicide King: And so is Chris Card’s boot. That could take an age to scrub off. He’d better set Natasha to it the second she gets to this tour. Axis: If she heard you gender stereotyping her like that she’s slap the taste out of your mouth. Suicide King: Hey treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen. That’s why I’m the ladies expert here. Chris Card grabs Dace Night by the hair again, lifting him to a vertical base. The referee protests again, but Card has Dace at his mercy, locking in a hammerlock tightly. Card marches Dace round the ring, showing that he has Dace ready for one of his Cardiac Arrest maneuvers. The crowd boos loudly and there is an assortment of anti Chris Card and anti Canadian screams of abuse emanating from the massed hordes of wrestling fans. Suicide King: It’s over, it HAS to be over. Axis: Chris Card setting for one of his bigger moves here. This could be over very quickly. Card wraps an arm round the neck of Dace Night and draws him slowly downwards into his patented Hammerlock Dragon Sleeper! Card grins maliciously as the pain on Dace’s face is obviously to all but the fans in the highest nosebleed seats. Even to these high up fans the writhing of Dace’s body is an obvious indicator of Dace’s agonizing predicament. Card wrings what appear to be the last vestiges of life from Dace’s body, and the crowd slowly begins a “Dace! Dace! Dace!” chant. Card responds with a snarl and a re-tightening of the grip. Suicide King: Stop the pain! Put the guy out of his misery! I’m begging you! Axis: This should be curtains for Dace Night. Card has the hold locked in, and it’s affecting Dace’s ability to breath, his ability to think… Suicide King: Like that’d make a difference! Axis: And of course it wrenches on Dace’s bleeding back, which has gone through hell and out the other side downwards. Suicide King: Dace should give up! The ref should just stop it! Axis: Dace isn’t the kind to give up, especially in front of his home crowd. Chris Card shouts out for the crowd to shut up as the chant for Dace rises to a crescendo. The referee goes to check on one of Dace’s arms, which seems limp and lifeless. The writhing stops and Dace looks like he could be gone. The referee lifts Dace’s arm. It falls limply back downwards. The crowd chants grows louder and the referee checks the arm a second time. The arm drops a second time. Women in the audience can be heard screaming their support for Dace Night. The modified Dragon Sleeper is in as tight as it can go. Card seems frustrated with Dace not giving up, and the referee grabs for Dace’s limp arm a third time time. The noise in the arena rises to a crescendo as the arm drops a little, then falls a little more, then steadies, Dace’s writhing returns, the energy of the crowd coursing freely through his oft worked over veins. The arm raises a little and Card snuffs out the crowd’s candle of hope by dropping Dace with the CARDIAC ARREST II! BUT DACE POPS UP! ELBOW SMASH! ELBOW SMASH!! BURNING LAARIAAAAAAAAAT! Both men collapse to the canvas, spent forces. The ref puts on a double KO count again. 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… Dace Night is up, and lifts an arm in respect to the crowd. Axis: Dace Night is up! Dace Night is up! Every fan in this arena is on their feet cheering for Dace Night! The atmosphere is electric! This could be the greatest comeback in wrestling history, here, tonight, in Birmingham! Suicide King: Whoooooooah there. Hold the hyperbole! This isn’t a foregone conclusion. Dace waits for Card to get up then grabs him and flattens him with a quick DDT! Flash cover 1…2… and Card kicks out. Dace grabs Card and lifts him roughly to his feet, knees the Canadian superstar in the gut and powerbombs Card down! Flash cover 1…2… and Card kicks out! Dace grabs Card and lifts him by the arm, turning it quickly into a whip. As Card returns Dace grabs him across the throat with an arm and lifts him up, turning him over uranage style and dropping Card across Dace’s own knee. Dace lets Card slump to the floor and Dace drops to cover 1…2… and Card kicks out again. Dace stamps on Card a couple of times and roars for the crowd, and they roar back, echoing Dace’s frustration in not being able to finish Card off. Axis: This is looking dangerous for Chris Card. Dace Night has a massive head of steam, and he’s warming up for something devastating! Dace Night lifts up Chris Card and slings him over his shoulder, then smashes him down to the mat with a Running Powerslam! The crowd pops again, probably half for Dace and half for him channeling the British Bulldog. Dace covers again 1…2… and Card just, JUST lifts a shoulder. Dace waits for Card to stand himself this time, then grabs him by the arm, and hits a Single Arm DDT, holding onto the arm, then scissoring it with his legs and going for Card’s face with his arms, looking for Code Black, but Card frees his arm and rolls away towards the ropes. Dace grabs him by the arm and stops him from leaving the ring. Axis: No place to hide for Chris Card now! Dace Night looking to finish this one, as Card appears to be faltering. Suicide King: Dace Night could pick up a hometown win. His promo for the next show will be UNBEARABLE! Dace again goes for the Code Black, but this time he has barely got the hold on when Card grabs hold of the bottom rope with his other arm, and through the screams of pain from Card - Dace hears the referee’s five count and breaks at 4. Dace looks to the sky for inspiration and then a dark, crooked smile crosses his face. He takes Card and shapes to powerslam him again, but turns and deposits him on the top turnbuckle, facing out into the audience. Softening Card up with a couple of high punches with Dace reaching up to drill Card in his lower back. Dace turns to the crowd and soaks in the atmosphere, as they cheer loudly for the attention and the impending Dace victory; Dace then turns back to Card, ready to finish his Canadian opponent off. Axis: Given Dace Night’s reputation for dropping people on their heads, and hard, this can only be bad for Chris Card. Suicide King: Get out of there Card! Run! Flee! Dace drags Card down and racks him across his shoulders in a Torture rack. Dace howls with anguish as he turns slowly, Card’s momentum and his searing back pain turning him round. Dace breathes in slowly, looking for the final blow to be delivered. Axis: Could this be it? Could this be the Psycho Driver? Dace readjusts the rack he holds Card in, but at the crucial moment as Dace prepares to drive Card’s head to the mat, the combined effects of the C4 explosion at Malice in Wonderland, the punishment of Card throughout the match and the effect of Card’s weight across him, the pain becomes too much, even for the Herculean Dace Night, and Dace stumbles half a step backwards. Card shifts his weight in the hold and Dace topples over, and Card slides an arm between Dace’s legs as he falls downwards! Card levers Dace over and rolls through himself, and when the dust settles it’s a modified rolling cradle with Dace’s shoulders on the mat, and Card instinctively puts his feet on the bottom rope for leverage 1…2…3!!!!!!! Axis: What a maneuver! I’m speechless! Chris Card has won this match! Suicide King: I knew he had it in him, Axis.

Yeah but the nu metal stuff is a finacial decision. Phil A. has publicly stated that he hates Limp Bizkit. Kerrang was originally a british metal fanzine - mainly for Maiden and Priest fans Of course Brimingham IS the spiritual home of ROCK \m/ , but then we all knew that anyways. As opposed to Nottingham, which can boast precisely one rock band ever in Pitchshifter. Unless you count Lawnmower Deth.

I admire Dace's view of the world, and I wish it were true, but there's no way an average wrestling crowd would pop for Napalm Death, especially above the Prince of Darkness. Of course you can read into it that this is all fantasy, and rules of the universe are meant to be broken - in which case I applaud the NEC crowd for popping for the Death. Rock ~the fuck~ On! Now of course if Phil "The Boss Of Kerrang" Alexander was there he'd be pissed off that you didn't mention Judas Preist *grin* Also interesting that neither me nor Dace chose a definitive ending - both choosing counters and techy things rather than finisher/pin thingies. Looking forward to facing Janus. Specially after the NOSEBLEED DRAGON SUPLEX~! If I lose I'm fearing for Card's safety Oh and no event for Nottingham booooo! But at least it's Card's return to the Budokan, where he won a tag team title match last time!

Call for first promo! Debut main event in somewhere I can go OLD SCHOOL~! heel on the crowd!

Well that's hard to follow... how about fetching me A signed Brujeria album (the one with Seis Seis Seis on it) Pablo Escobar's gold fillings An authentic Poncho a Shocker 1000% Guapo t-shirt Some Pan Pipes Some of Psicosis' hair (which he lost to Vampiro i think) Danath Ramnarine's cricket pads a tape of Argentinian league Rugby a seat from the Maracana and finally the most common thing in Central America... A CIA Assasin set to depose elected left wing governments.

Is it just me, or is the SJL looking increasingly like a Vampyre:The Masquerade convention *grins* Tag team tables match. Sounds groovy. Of course IN Character.. Card: Tag team TABLES match? You got me booked me in a goddman tables match? Are you thinking of Crowe's interests before mine? ::Natasha shrugs::

The metal beats of "King of Your Own World" by Smugface plays over the loudspeaker, as gold sparks rise up from under the entrance area. After several seconds, "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins walks out from behind the entrance curtain, stepping into the gold sparks. After a few seconds of Spike just standing there, Spike breathes in some of the sparks, and exhales through his nose, as smoke fills up over his face. Spike steps through the sparks, as they slowly die down behind him. Funyon: The next match is a gauntlet match, where each section of the gauntlet is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, the man who must run the gauntlet and collect 4 successive victories, hailing from Hollywood, California and weighing in at 220 lbs, He is the self proclaimed King of the World… HOLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYWOOOOOOOOOOD SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE JEEEEEEEENKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS! Spike walks down the entrance way, looking around the audience as they all boo him. Spike walks around the ring up to the steel steps, and climbs up to the ring apron, walking into the center of the ring, and looking out into the auidence, placing his arms behind the top rope, stretching back a bit. Spike releases the ropes, and steps through them into the ring. Spike walks to the corner and lifts himself up onto the top turnbuckle, sitting there while he waits for his opponent. Axis: You know Spike’s mouth can get him into trouble sometimes, and I think he’s in HUGE trouble tonight here. Suicide King: Spike is the King of the World though. Funyon: And his first opponent, weighing in at 264lbs and hailing from Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada, He is so far undefeated in the SJL, He is Technical Perfection, He is accompanied by the Gothic Diva herself Natasha, he is CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD. "Grind" by Alice In Chains fires up and Chris Card walks into the entranceway, followed by Natasha. With a slight sneer towards the crowd, Chris And Natasha walk slowly and deliberately down towards the ring, with Chris stopping to part the ropes for Natasha. Inside the ring Natasha raises her arms above her head showing off her figure, and then points them towards Chris and he drops into his Heartbreaker pose, crouched in a fighting stance, arms crossed across his chest, thumbs pointing towards his heart. Suicide King: Looks like Natasha’s not gonna be joining us on commentary this time. After what Spike Jenkins said to her, maybe she wants to be closer to the action. Axis: That can only be bad news for Jenkins. Suicide King: Still we get a better look at her ass Axis: You’re a dirty minded individual King. Inside the ring Spike Jenkins offers Chris Card a handshake, and as Card goes for it Spike pulls his hand away and brushes it through his hair. Card goes for a collar and elbow tie up to start the match, and as Spike moves in Card pulls away and brushes both hands through his hair. Spike grins broadly at Card and Card responds with a controlled smirk. Axis: Both men stalling here to start. Suicide King: And disrespecting. Disrespect is an important part of professional wrestling, Axis. Axis: You are the expert. Suicide King: Damn skippy! Card fires a couple of kicks off in the direction of Spike, who backs off and grins again. Card draws back into a fighting stance, and Spike responds by sliding out of the ring onto the ring apron and posing for the crowd. Spike Jenkins: King of the world! Spike is greeted by not only a hearty round of boos, but a tap on the shoulder from Natasha. Spike jumps back a pace in mock shock and horror and Natasha gives him her best stony look. Spike slides back into the ring and offers a touch of fists to Card, Card moves in to touch and Spike AGAIN moves away and fixes his hair. Axis: I’m not sure Spike is taking this match seriously. The pair FINALLY lock up and Card quickly powers Spike down to his knees. Spike begs off back towards the corner, and Card rolls away to avoid Spike’s low blow attempt, Card tapping the side of his head in a show of “I’m cleverer than that!” Spike counter that pose with a huge pantomimed Dick Dastardlyesque “Curses, Foiled Again!” hand motion. On the ring apron Natasha is getting increasingly frustrated with Spike’s antics, visibly angry with the Hollywood superstar. Spike moves in and gets winged with a soft looking range finder kick from Card, and he responds by selling it like DEATH, writhing in the floor in mock pain, then rolling out the ring. Suicide King I AM sure he’s not taking this match seriously. Spike Jenkins compese himself on the outside as Natasha stalks him again, but this time Spike turns to face her. Natasha gives him an ice cold look of daggers and Spike responds with a confident smirk, to a sound round of boos from the crowd. Spike: Heyyyy baby. Natasha lets out a disgruntled hmph sound, and as Spike beings preening himself around Natasha, putting the moves on her, Card FINALLY gets fed up with Spike showing off and baseball slides out of the ring, smashing Jenkins into the guardrail with a leggy kick. Backed up against the guardrail Spike is helpless to defend himself against a volley of stiff roundhouse kicks to his ribs and shins from the martial arts inclined Card, until Card finally stops and grabs Spike by the and slings Spike unceremoniously under the bottom rope back into the ring. The crowd, for a change solidly behind Card, starts a “FUCK HIM UP CHRIS CARD, FUCK HIM UP!” chant. Axis: Vocal crowd here, and Spike Jenkins’ actrions appear to be swaying them towards the cause of Chris Card. Suicide King: These idiots know nothing Axis. Card grabs Spike by the arm and whips him into the corner, chriging in with a running clothesline, and then firing a pair of stiff looking knife edged chops into the chest of the Hollywood star. Spike quickly turns out of the corner and forces Card into it with a stiff pair of chops of his own. Spike whips Card corner to corner, and athletically somersaults in with his massive Tidal Wave kick. Card staggers forward a pace and Spike kicks him solidly out of the corner with a standing enzuigiri, sending Card face first to the mat. Spike looks out at Natasha and blows the Gothic One a kiss. Suicide King: I hear Spike learned his pick up lines from a Hollywood classic. Axis: Which one was that? Suicide King: Police Academy 5! Axis: Find that out while researching jokes, King? Suicide King: My wit comes from my natural genius. Spike rolls Card over and goes for the cockiest pin cover known to man, posing like he was on the bridge in Titanic, feet on Card’s chest. 1… and Card rolls over quickly, sending Spike staggering back. Card kips up, and as Spike regains his footing he feels Card grabs his arm and whips him to the ropes. As Spike careers back towards Card he leapfrogs over Card, but Card shows his wrestling prowess, standing tall and catching Spike as he attempts the jump. Card goes for a powerbomb on Spike, but Spike re-counters with a snap huracanrana, grabbing onto Card’s legs, looking for a quick victory. 1…2… and Card rolls up a shoulder to break the cover. Axis: He may have a big mouth, but Spike Jenkins is a talented wrestler. Suicide King: Since when did having a big mouth prevent you from becoming a talented wrester? Spike springs up before Card and beckons him up, waiting for Card to rise with a cocky beckoning gesture. As Card finds his feet Spike rushes him and hits his Phantom Neckbreaker, dropping Card back down to the mat. Spike thinks about a pin, but then saunters back over to Natasha again. Lipreaders in the crowd and the front three rows are all highly offended by Natasha’s response to Spike’s proposal. Suicide King: Play it cool Spike, play it cool. Card rises to his feet and greets Spike with a massive knee to the gut as the King of the World turns back to his opponent. Card grabs Spike by the head and hits a lightning fast vertical suplex, landing Spike firmly on his back. Card floats over to a cover 1…2… and Card’s failure to hook a leg costs him a quick victory. Card curses himself and drops a heel onto Spike’s chest, and returns to his feet, flexing his shoulders and loosening up tension in his muscles. Spike gets back to a vertical base and turns right into a trademarked stiff card roundhouse kick. Following his Nowashigiri, Card launches into a clinch and fires off a succession of muay thai style knee strikes into the ribs of Spike. Spike drags the clinch back to the ropes with the force of the blows, and the referee forces Card to break, but Card doesn’t break clean, lashing in another stiff chop to the chest of Spike. The crowd happily whoos along. Axis: The crowd proving the lasting effect of the Nature Boy on the wrestling industry. Spike spots that the referee is busy reprimanding Card for denying the clean break and fires off a low blow, sending Card reeling backwards. Suicide King: Ya don’t say? Spike chops out at Card a couple of times, more whooing ringing through the arena. Card, still feeling the effects of the low blow, is in no position to respond, and Spike grabs hold of the ripped Canadian, turning him over into an inverted facelock, and then Rolls the Joint, impacting Card’s chin hard into his shoulder with the impact of the spinning move. Suicide King: Snoochie noochie boochies! Axis: That’s a Mark Madden quote King! Suicide King: Yeah but I use it in the right context! Spike again wanders over to Natasha instead of covering, and this time Natasha is ready and steps off the ring apron, giving her best stare to Hollywood, Spike Jenkins: You KNOW you want me. Spike returns to Chris Card and hits his 420 revolving legdrop, this time mentally deciding it’s time to get a little more serious and cover Card. 1…2… and Card kicks out again. Spike waits for Card to return to a seated position, then runs into the far ropes to card and blasts Card with his Dangerous Wizard! Spike drops to cover again 1…2… and Card kicks out AGAIN. Spike stands up and shrugs dismissively. Then smiles to himself, brimming as ever with overconfidence. Spike jumps confidently to the top rope and beckons Card up, and as Card reaches his feet Spike leaps off with a high cross body. Card rolls through with the move, and gets a pin fall predicament, grabbing a handful of tights for luck 1…2… and Jenkins lifts a shoulder, Jenkins backs off when standing, and then realizing that there’s the top of his ass showing, wiggles it at Natasha before hiking his tights back up. Suicide King: Full moon! Full moon! Chris Card Charges in at Spike with a palm strike, and thoroughly fed up with Spike’s antics, lifts him up and drops him with a high angle body slam, following up with a snap leg drop, then rolling him onto his back for his half crab hold. Card leans back, mouth wide, screaming with force to add that little extra pressure to his hold, but the slimy Jenkins wriggles free of the hold and escapes to the safety of the ropes. Card looks to follow in, but the referee interposes himself, preventing an attack, and Jenkins leans backwards, flashing another smile at Natasha. Axis: Spike Jenkins unafraid to use the rules to his own advantage. Suicide King: Bend them, break them, it’s all the same. Cheat, cheat, cheat if you can. Win at all costs. Axis: That’s not a good example to the kids watching this show. Suicide King: Go to bed! There, that’s a good example to the kids watching this show. Spike moves away from the ropes, but before Card can respond with an attack Spike rakes the eyes. Spike has time to shrug his shoulders before Card near rips his head off with a leg lariat. Card sits on top of the fallen Spike and points to his eyes, showing that he was in a prescient mood and shut his eyes to prevent the rake from doing maximum damage. From the shoot style mount, Card raises his body up and fires a few massive knee strikes down into Spike’s ribs. Card moves his knees up Spikes body, pinning Spike’s shoulders, and Card adds emphasis by leaning back a little into a kneeling version of the Heartbreaker pose. 1…2… and the semi-casual cover is broken up by spike levering himself loose. Suicide King: Always go for a firm cover, no matter how cocky or insulting you feel. Axis: Some good advice for a change from you Suicide King. Suicide King: Hey I ALWAYS give good advice. Card and Spike stand up next to each other in the middle of the ring. Card stares down at Spike as the pair stand chest to chest. Spike jaws off at Card, and Card lets loose a hellacious chop, then whips Spike into the corner, hard. Card Follows in and hits his patented Shin, Ribs, Head roundhouse combo, and one handed bulldogs Spike out. Card lifts Spike to his feet and hits a backdrop suplex. Without a pause for thought Card lifts Spike to his feet again, wraps his arms round Spike’s face, squeezes in his standing crossface tight before dropping down to a seated position, driving Spike down to the mat. Card reapplies the crossface from this position, wrapping his legs round Spikes body to attempt to squeeze the air out of the cocky superstar’s system. Card holds on, utilizing the devastating hold to sap the energy from Spike Jenkins, using every inch of his muscular quadriceps to constrict around Spike and prevent his lungs from expanding fully, shortening the Hollywood one’s breathing pattern. Card screams to the ref to ask Spike if he wants to quit, but from inside the hold Spike gives a definitive no. Axis: This is a dangerous, dangerous hold, folks. I would not want to be in Spike Jenkins position at this point. Suicide King: You’d never be placed in that position, Axis. Axis: And why not. Suicide King: You’d have tapped out already. Spike Jenkins attempts to prise Card’s locked hands apart, loosening the grip across the bridge of his nose slightly. Natasha leaps up onto the ring apron, shouting at Spike to tap, but Spike, stuck fast in the hold gives the referee another definite no when asked if he wants to quit. Spike attempts a different tack, trying to roll Card over and squash Card’s legs into the mat, making him release the grip, but Card fights against this, keeping Spike locked in the hold. As Card fights a movement against his hold, Spike the direction of his attempted roll, and this time moving in the same direction as Card causes the hold to roll over twice, leaving Spike’s arm near enough the ropes to grab hold. The referee puts a five count on Chris Card and Technical Perfection leaves it till a VERY long 4 before grudgingly releasing the hold. Axis: Sound ring knowledge from Spike Jenkins there. He knew that he couldn’t force Card to break the hold, so he maneuvered for the ropes instead. The referee again has a problem with Card and gives the big Canadian a stern talking to for taking so long to break the hold, and Jenkins uses the distraction to fire off yet another low blow. As Card collapses to the mat Natasha leans over to the ref and launches into a tirade of abuse about his one sided refereeing of the match. Spike uses the opportunity to reach over to Natasha and plant a massive kiss on her lips. Spike backs off before he can get slapped and poses to the crowd, making a coquettish little gesture to Natasha. Axis: I have a feeling that Hollywood Spike Jenkins may well have signed his own death warrant here. Natasha walks down off the ring apron, feigning a look of control, to the side of the commentators table. She grabs Funyon’s announcing mic away from the stylish ring announcer, and taps it a couple of times to make sure it’s working. The Gothic Diva follows this by stealing Funyon’s chair as he backs off a couple of paces from the unpredictable Gothic Diva. Axis: Natasha has evil intent planned for Spike Jenkins! Suicide King: Natasha has evil intent planned for MOST people. Axis: I doubt this is her good kind of evil intent, if that makes sense viewers. Chris Card launches himself at Spike, channeling Natasha’s anger and fires pff a rapid fire succession of kicks, chops and knee strikes, sending Spike staggering backwards. Card grabs hold of Spike firmly, then after a lightning fast standing switch, hammerlocks an arm of Spike and grabs him round the throat, pulling him back down into the Hammerlock Dragon Sleeper. Axis: Spike Jenkins is in DEEP trouble now King. Card wrenches back on the dragon sleeper again and finally drops Spike down to the mat with the Cardiac Arrest II! Spike writhes in pain on the ground as Chris Card parts the ropes allowing Natasha into the ring, much to the consternation of the referee. The ref warns Card that if Natasha hits Spike he’ll be disqualified and Card responds by roughly shoving the referee into a corner. Axis: Chris Card is going to get himself disqualified here. Suicide King: I don’t think he cares, Axis. I’m just worried about what Natasha has planned. Card picks up Spike from the floor and places him firmly onto the top rope. Card stuns Spike with a leaping palm strike, then turns to Natasha. Natasha nods in Card’s direction, and he spreads Spike’s legs apart, one over each of the ropes connected at the corner. Natasha clears her throat and addresses Spike. Natasha: Today, “Hollywood”, you’re going to learn an important lesson. Don’t ever, EVER mess with this Gothic Bitch. Natasha throws the chair to Card who holds it in front of Spike Jenkins’ exposed crotch. Natasha lines herself up, then drops back to a semi-crouch, crossing her arms across her chest. Axis: That’s the Heartbreaker pose. She’s not going to… is she? Suicide King: I can’t watch! I can’t watch! A devious smile crosses Chris Card’s face, as Spike Jenkins shakes himself back to reality. A look of horror crosses his face as he realizes the situation he’s in. With an evil smirk of her own Natasha fires off a massive side kick, superkicking the chair into Spike’s crotch! The referee waves frantically for the DQ, and the bell rings. Natasha casually tosses the mic to Card. Chris Card: Don’t fuck with us again, bitch. We’re just leaving you with the pleasure of another kicking off Janus. Deal With It. Funyon: Your winner of the first round, by Disqualification, SPIIIIIIIIIIKE JEEEEEEEENKINS! And with that Card and Natasha stride confidently and sashay sexually off backstage as Spike is left dazed in the ring for Janus. Funyon: And the second opponent in this gauntlet match. The big man, the master of the power move, and YOUR European Champion… JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANUUUUUUUUUUUUUS. As Spike takes himself off the ropes and slumps in the corner holding his groin, all the lights in the arena go out. As the theme song "As Darkness Falls" hits the speakers, Janus steps out from behind the stage entrance and begins a slow and intimidating walk towards the ring, minus his European title belt as his green eyes lock onto Spike with grim intent. Axis: "And here comes the big man!!" Suicide King: "Spike's in the shitter now! Chris Card got disqualified when Natasha got involved, and now this!" Shaking his head dazedly, Spike looks up as the lights come on, and despite the agony pulsing through his pulverized grapefruits, his eyes still widen in fear and surprise as he sees the giant climbing into the ring. Fear being a great motivator, the smaller superstar drags himself to his feet, only to be knocked in a full Perfect-esque loop as Janus nails him with a massive clothesline! Thudding to the canvas, Spike gasps for breath, and desperately rolls away and under the bottom rope, sliding to the outside of the ring. However, as he leans on the announce table, he hears the crowd actually pop and turns around - seeing only a muscled chest with three scars slashing across it. Slowly he looks up, into a pair of green eyes that stare down on him from on high - and Janus slaps one hand around Spike's throat, choking the smaller superstar and lifting him up in preparation for a chokeslam. Rather than instantly execute the move, Janus holds Spike high in the air, and looks down at the announce table. Axis: "You wouldn't--!" Suicide King: "I think he would!" However, the moment of studying as always works against the giant - wriggling free, Spike hooks Janus' head and desperately pulls down - and while Spike lands feet-first on the floor, he bounces Janus' head off the announce table with an attempted DDT! Janus arrghs in pain and stumbles back, clutching his forehead. Looking around, Spike snatches up a chair from the timekeeper's desk, and lets out a frenzied, fearful yell as he charges at Janus with it! The little man is brought up short when he finds referee Matthew Kivell standing in front of him, and the referee grabs the chair out of Spike's hands. Jenkins argues with the referee, indicating the crotch shot he got earlier, and Kivell shakes his head. He's then roughly pushed aside by Janus, who grabs Spike up in a bearhug, and then drops to one knee, bouncing Jenkins' already tortured pelvic area off said knee with an inverted atomic drop. Finally climbing back into the ring, referee Matthew Kivell starts up a ten count. ONE!! Spike arghs in audible pain and hops away from Janus, clutching his pelvic area. The giant watches with an almost amused expression at this, and then charges, swinging his leg up into the air for a big boot - but Spike senses movement and screams like a girl, ducking. The giant attempts to slow his moment, then arghs and grabs his leg as he drives his boot into the guard rail. TWO!! The giant lowers his leg and leans on the rail for a moment, and then looks around for his opponent. Cringing, "Hollywood" climbs the ropes, standing and watching the giant look around almost aimlessly, and crosses his fingers before springing off as the giant turns in the direction of the ring, aiming to nail a top rope hurricanrana! THREE!! However, Janus is fresh, whereas Spike is already worn down, and the attempted hurricanrana fails, leaving the smaller superstar hanging embarassedly with his legs on Janus' shoulders and around his neck. The crowd jeers at Spike as Janus lifts him back up and loosens the legs, hanging Spike over his shoulder like a rag doll as he turns towards the guard rail. Axis: "What's Janus planning to do?? He's got Spike over his shoulder..." Suicide King: "He's going to really hurt Spike, can't you tell?" Axis: "No, not really..." FOUR!! The Suicide King's words seem to ring in Axis' ears as Janus shifts his grip on Spike, and then swings him off his shoulders - absolutely SMASHING him into the guardrail with a modified high-angle spinebuster! His back almost pulverised, Jenkins can only shriek in pain before crumpling to the ground like a folded up accordion, trying to protect himself and somehow clutch his back at the same time. Janus just looms over the smaller man, as the crowd starts to chant. "WE FELT THAT!" *clap clap clap-clap-clap* "WE FELT THAT!" *clap clap clap-clap-clap* "WE FELT THAT!" *clap clap clap-clap-clap* As Kivell's count reaches FIVE!! - Janus drags Spike back to his feet and rolls the smaller superstar back into the ring, sliding in after him and breaking the ten count. Spike just groans and rolls about in the ring, clutching at his spine as the giant rises back to his feet. After a pause, he mercilessly starts laying the boots into Spike's back, causing the smaller superstar to roll away, trying to avoid the assault. However his attempt to roll back out of the ring fails as Janus leans down and drags him back to his feet, and then whips him across the ring. However, the giant doesn't do anything as Spike comes running back, merely hunching up as the proverbial 'brick wall'. Summoning his remaining instincts, Spike manages to alter his running course, dashing past the giant and leaping onto the middle rope. He springboards back off it and with desperation clips Janus' upper back with a springboard mule kick! Janus takes a single step forward and starts to turn around, as Spike realises his chances of winning this match are very close to nil - but that didn't mean he wasn't gonna try. Shifting his body weight and staggering almost drunkenly with his aching back, Hollywood catches the overly confident seven footer with a blistering superkick to the chin! Axis: "Spike with a DESPERATION superkick! Janus is staggering on his feet!" Suicide King: "Serves him right for being too cocky going after Spike Jenkins!" Axis: "Weren't you cheering Janus last match!?" Suicide King: "That's a different story" Janus shakes his head to clear it of the superkick's impact, and Spike captialises by stretching up to rake the giant's eyes, and then kicks him in the lower abdomen/pelvic area! Janus grabs the leg, and once more gets clocked upside the head as Spike hits a standing enzugiri! Rather than stagger blindly, Janus just growls in pain, and while not entirely sure where he is, he throws a great big meaty fist forward - - and drives it straight into Spike's back as Jenkins was facing the wrong way after nailing the enzugiri! The look on Hollywood's face is priceless as his eyes nearly pop and his mouth forms a perfect 'O' and he crumples to the canvas, dragging himself towards one of the corners as Janus leans on the ropes and shakes his head to clear it. Seeing Spike in the corner, the giant stumbles, and then runs to the ropes, bouncing and angling himself towards the corner as he lowers his shoulder....and posts himself as his opponent screams like a girl again and throws himself out of the way. Clutching his shoulder, Janus leans on the turnbuckle. Axis: "Spike is running on empty here! He and Chris Card had a HELL of a matchup, and now he's just avoiding everything Janus is throwing at him! If Janus can get off one successful move in the ring, Jenkins could be finished!" Suicide King: "It's great tactics, Axis! Let the giant do all the damage to himself, and then capitalise!" Axis: "Is that why Spike is grabbing the chair that Natasha kicked into his groin?" Indeed, Jenkins has grabbed the chair and now holds it like a weapon (naturally) and advances on Janus, whose back is to the ring. Sensing movement behind himself, Janus spins and lunges out of the corner with an absolutely brutal looking lariat.... ....and Kivell goes for a loop as Janus nearly decapitates him! The referee had stood between Janus and Spike, trying to get the smaller superstar to drop the chair. Now in a heap on the ground, he can do little officiating as Janus lifts his eyes from the body of Kivell to see blue steel.... *CRACK!* The first shot has him staggering backwards across the ring, again clutching his face. Without further ado, Spike follows it up with another... *CRACK!* Driving the chair into Janus' abdomen, he doubles the giant over and cackles with cocky glee, leaning down to look the giant in the eyes and yell "I'm King of the World!" before... *CRACK!* A third shot to the back of the skull makes Janus eat canvas. Throwing away the chair, Spike looks at the downed body of his opponent and grins cockily before crouching by Kivell. Shaking the referee by the shoulder and watching him come to, the smaller superstar doesn't bear a thought for his opponent. Which was going to cost him, as slowly, Janus' hands find purchase on the canvas and the giant starts pushing himself back to his feet! Axis: "Jesus CHRIST! Three chairshots to put Janus on the canvas, and he's already getting back up!" Suicide King: "And he's looking PLENTY pissed off, Axis! Check out that face!" Axis: "Spike may have just made a mistake by using that chair on Janus..." The hushed crowd warning Spike of what's to come, the smaller man turns from the groggy Kivell to stare up at the bloody face of Janus - the giant wavers on his feet as if dazed, but seems very clearly locked onto Spike. The smaller superstar stares in surprise and can barely squeak before Janus whips him into the ropes and follows him in, crushing Spike's ribcage with a thunderous Gore. Jenkins drops to the ground, wheezing for air.....only to be dragged right back up and straight off the ground as Janus throttles him with both hands around his throat! Kivell, back on his feet, spots this and scrambles woozily to his feet, clapping Janus on the shoulder and starting a five count. As the referee reaches four, Janus releases the hold and drops Spike to the ground. Nudging him onto his stomach with one foot, the giant proceeds to lay his heavy boot into Jenkins' spine, causing him to argh and cry out in pain as it reawakens the agony of the guardrail spinebuster, and the smaller man writhes like a fish on a hook, clutching his back. Janus cocks his head, rubbing a hand across his face and looking at the sanguine stickiness clinging to his glove...and turns away from Spike, looking around. A grin slides across his face and he nods to himself as he steps across the ring - and picks up the chair Spike had clobbered him with. Axis: "Ohhhhh....Janus wants revenge for those earlier chairshots, King. It looks like it busted him open!" Suicide King: "Awww, Kivell won't let him!" Axis: "He's trying to keep some semblance of order, although he missed Spike hitting Janus first!" Kivell reaches up, attempting to remove the chair from the giant's grip. Janus shakes his head and holds on tight, stalking Spike like a giant panther tracking a weak little chicklet. Unable to remove the chair from Janus' grap, Kivell interposes himself between the giant and his opponent. As a result, Spike starts using Kivell to get back to his feet, using the referee as an unintended human shield. Spike then drops to one knee, pushing Kivell away - and the referee doesn't spot the low blow that the little superstar drives into Janus' grapefruits, causing the giant to drop the chair and stagger backwards, almost keeling over. Taking advantage, Spike sprints forward, leaping into the air, hooking Janus' head with his leg and slamming the giant down into the canvas with a rocker dropper, and rolls him over! ONE! TWO! Janus kicks out, and Spike frets before springing to his feet and heading for Janus' legs, attempting to turn the giant over and lift the practically treetrunk-thick legs off the ground. Janus is having none of it, however, using his superior legpower to push Spike away into the ropes, tangling him up momentarily. As Spike extricates himself from the ropes, Janus pushes himself back to his feet. With Kivell looking on, Spike and Janus lock up in a shockingly traditional collar-and-elbow tieup, which the smaller man loses as Janus whips him into the ropes, and when he comes back, the giant hoists him up - and up - and UP - into the air with a gorilla press. Showing off his strength, the giant poses in the ring while holding the struggling Spike above his head, and then throws him out of the ring! *CRUNCH* "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" Suicide King: "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" Axis: "Janus just threw Spike clear out of the ring, and all the way into the guardrail SPINE FIRST!" Suicide King: "What's he doing, trying to break Spike's back or something!?" Janus drops to his knees and then rolls out of the ring, stepping over to Spike's body - that is curled up in a near-fetal position on the ground, and drags Spike back to his feet and back towards the ring. Out of Kivell's view, Spike drills Janus with a kick to the nuts again, almost falling straight back to the floor as his back shrieks in agony. ONE! Janus clutches his grapefruits, turning around towards Spike with a rather pissed off expression on his face, and receives a superkick to the face! His head snaps back, and there's a *RING* sound as it collides with the turnbuckle post, dazing the giant. Spike falls back to the ground. TWO! Crawling, Spike grabs the apron and starts climbing up as Janus slumps to a sitting position, holding the back of his head. Axis: "Janus might have a concussion! He's taken three shots to the skull, and now this!" THREE! Now on the apron, Spike looks down at the slumped giant, considering his next action. He finally shakes his head and rolls back into the ring. Janus slowly starts to rise from his seated position, leaning with his arms and head on the apron as he tries to gather his faculties. Two superkicks and three chairshots to the skull were beginning to take their toll on the giant's mental conditioning. FOUR! FIVE! As Kivell's back is turned, making the count to the crowd, Spike snatches up the much maligned chair...and does a baseball slide with it right into Janus' face! The giant reels back and falls flat on his arse once more, hands once more going to his face, which is shielded from view by his copious amount of white hair. The blow literally makes him see spots in front of his eyes as he slumps almost unconciously to the ground. Axis: "Brutal baseball slide with the chair! Kivell never saw it!" Suicide King: "Stay in the ring, Spike! Don't let Janus' presence distract you! He can be counted out!" SIX! SEVEN! Spike starts to pose in the ring, grimacing and pausing to clutch his spine. Seeing the arrogance, the crowd chant for the monster-man who was crushing him moments before. The sound of "Let's Go Janus!" vibrates throughout the arena, and the giant twitches, shaking his head and starting to get to his feet, and the crowd 'woo's and starts stomping their feet to get the giant motivated. EIGHT! Spike stares in shock as Janus starts to rise, and crosses his fingers the giant's slowness will tell against him. This is not to be, because just as Kivell reaches NINE, the giant climbs up onto the apron with nothing but punishment for Spike Jenkins in his eyes. Clutching his back, Spike charges the ropes as the giant steps over them, and runs into a lifted big boot, sending him crashing to the floor with almost all his faculties missing. Janus takes a moment to lean in the ropes and catch his breath, running his gloved hands over his face and looking at the wetness there. Then he tosses his head to flick his hair back, finally letting everyone get a good view of his face since those headshots. Axis: "He's bleeding like a stuck pig!" Suicide King: "Spike busted him open good, but look, he's still planning a massacre!" Blood staining his face, Janus looks down at the prone form of Spike Jenkins. The smaller superstar grabs one of Janus' legs and starts pulling himself up, shaking his head and mumbling 'I'm King of the World'. Janus puts a hand on Spike's head and looks down on him, and then shoves him back, causing Jenkins to fall almost comically on his rear end. Apparently out of it after that kick to the head, Spike tries to get back up, but Janus shakes his head and steps around behind the sitting superstar and kicks him in the spine. Spike shrieks in pain and flops flat on the mat, on his stomach. Janus looks at the sprawled superstar. Then he looks at his raised, oversized boot And then he smiles..... ...and Spike screams as the giant rams three hundred and fifty pounds of force into his spine with a grinding stomp! Pressing his foot into Spike's back, the giant leans down and grabs the pinned superstar's arms, and starts pulling them back. Spike screams in agony as the elementary surfboard submission torques the absolute hell out of his punished spine. He shakes his head, screaming when the ref asks him to give up, and continues to wail for several long moments, muscles in his back and arms Axis: "Janus is tearing Spike in two with that surfboard! Suicide King: "If Janus is trying to kill him, he's being very effective with it!" Referee Matthew Kivell crouches by Spike's screaming form. Unable to tap out as Janus is holding arms, the small superstar shakes his head and screams something incoherent to most, but Kivell nods and waves to the timekeeper who rings the bell! Janus finally relents on the submission and steps back from Spike, staring down at him. Funyon: "Ladies and gentlemen....the winner of this match....the second superstar of the gauntlet.....he is the S...J....L EURRRRROPEAN CHAAAAMPION.....JAAAAANUS!" The giant stares down at Spike's prone form for several moments before turning away and climbing out of the ring, walking backstage as the show goes to commercial...

::Taped for the syndicated shows, i guess:: Backstage in New Hampshire Ben Hardy waits patiently, occasionally glancing down at his watch, awaiting the arrival of his chosen interviewees. Casually strolling into frame is the tall, built and muscular frame of Chris Card, the undefeated and inimitably cool superstar, followed closely as ever by his sensual, stylish, sometimes sick but always stunningly sexy manager, the Gothic Diva herself, Natasha. Card flicks a lock of loose hair back away from his face. Card checks for the red light on the camera and stares intently straight down the lens, Natasha echoing the controlled gaze of Card with a knowing smirk of her own. Card turns and looks down at Hardy, flexing his muscles to contrast the size of his cut bicep with Hardy’s head. Ben Hardy: You join me here backstage, where I have been granted an exclusive interview with the SJL’s hottest new property, “Technical Perfection” Chris Card and his beautiful ring valet and manager Natasha. Chris Card: Quick being a suckup and make with the questions. You know I’m a busy man, with a DAMN busy training schedule, and mouthing off to jerkwads like yourself about how great I am, though fun, is not a productive way to spend my damn time. Ben Hardy: Well the first thing I want to ask, if you’ll grant me this Chris, is the question that’s been on the lips of many of the SJL’s staff. What IS going on between The Gothic Diva Natasha and the dark and twisted Crow? Natasha: Well Ben, you know my personal life is no business of yours, but seeing as I myself have chosen to put this damn thing in the open by my own call I’m going to set everyone straight. My first priority is, was, and always will be Chris Card and making sure Chris Card gets every chance and opportunity to rise up the ranks of this federation. But you see there’s business and pleasure, and I try not to mix the two. Like I said on the show earlier Chris Card is business. But what I want for Crow Natasha takes the mike and runs her bottom lip along it’s increasingly phallic looking shaft. Natasha: Is ALL pleasure. Ben Hardy: You appeared concerned for Crow after his hard fought and hardcore method of victory earlier. Does it bother you to see Crow getting hurt like that? Natasha: Does it bother me to see Crow get hurt. No. I love it. I love seeing Crow in pain. Pain to me is such… Natasha runs a finger down Hardy’s face, and Hardy instinctively shirks away as she turns in a hard black coated fingernail towards Hardy’s cheek. Natasha: …a turn on. And seeing a dark, sinister gothic individual, a sick twisted man, a man who those who consider themselves normal would call a freak. Seeing the divine form of Crow twisted in pain, suppressing a scream, blood dripping across his face. It turns me on so much. And Crow, if you want a piece of what this Sexy Goth Bitch can offer you, all you have to do is bleed. You do know how to bleed, don’t you? Ben Hardy gives a little shocked look at the sexy smile of Natasha. Spotting the interviewer’s reaction, Card smirks and lets out a little self contented chuckle. Ben Hardy: So what are your plans FOR Crow? Chris Card: Enough bullshit, Ben. Get to the damn WRESTLING. You can keep your rope opera bullshit away from Chris Card, that’s not what I’m about. Natasha and Crow’s Natasha and Crow’s issue, but I’m wasting my time here unless you ask ME something, damn it. Ben backs off Card a half step, intimidated by his confrontational tone. Ben Hardy: Well. Given that you’ve made such an impact in the SJL so far, a three match win streak, each a fine technical display, do you have a message for all your new fans. Chris Card: A FINE technical display? Each time I step through the ring ropes, each time I enter the squared circle it’s one thing and one thing only. Technical perfection. I am the best damn thing you can ever hope to see. I am greatness in human form. All the kids watching wrestling, they all wanna grow up to be great wrestlers. Watch me. Learn how it’s done. Punk kids on the Indy circuit killing themselves in death matches and high flying moves. That’s not wrestling. I, Chris Card, am wrestling. So to all the fans young and old who aspire to be a great wrestler, watch me. Learn from what I do. Try it yourself. You will be a better wrestler. But you’ll never be me, because not one person in this arena tonight, in this state, in the viewing audience, in the WHOLE DAMN WORLD will ever, EVER, have what it takes to be as good as me. Deal with it. Card exits with another deep stare to the camera as he delivers his line. Ben Hardy stands and looks a little taken aback as we fade out.

Natasha wouldn't stab your brother. Course if he were to stab himself, she'd be the first to come kiss him all better...

If I pointed out I'm gonna kick your ass on Wrath, would that save you needing a thumb graft? *grins*

Hmm. He's supposed to be a professional and businesslike, arorgant only about his ability heel (Heel Benoit). I think I need to work on getting that over more. He's not an arrogant and cocky heel HBK/Jerichoy type - there's a a few great ones of them around the SWF/SJL, HSJ showing the very best of that style this week. Still fun to look back on that era of Card's character though, waking up with blondes in the appartment and bitching out his trainer. Maybe I should organise an archive of my old promos. Then you get to hear the suckiness of Card's original catchphrase!

The comedy names of CRZ, the cliches of Keith... all you need is some out of place politically incorrect jokes and you could be Hyatte too. More! More! Rock on! *Makes devil signs*