Mecha Mummy

Though I've never been on TV, I think Funaki pointed to me on Velocity once when he saw my "Funaki, ganbatte ne!" sign. Long shot, I know...

Wow. Thank god they're really playing up to Spanky's gimmick of "guy who's supposed to be a jobber but keeps winning". Oh, wait, they aren't, they jobbed him to Chuck Palumbo who hasn't done anything of importance since October. My mistake, sorry.

At the same time, I'm a little sick of watch each and every one of my favorite wrestlers job to Test in utter squash matches. Next, Test will go to Smackdown and defeat the entire cruiser division! YAY FOR ULTRA-SUPER-TEST! At least Brock has the talent and passable mic skills to go far, Test doesn't really have any of that.

It's still an improvement over inviting Austin to come to Raw after Bisch would be fired.

I'll admit, the Raven of last week's Raw disturbed me. But hey! It's not like they gave him a segment or anything, so all I can picture in my mind is some guy going out and jobbing to Jeff Hardy. Let me put it this way: I'm a casual fan, more or less. I hadn't seen Raven until mid 2001, and I didn't start liking him until his return in 2002. I loved his verbose promos, his poetic phrasing and whatnot. I didn't see him in The Flock. I didn't see him in ECW. All I know is the Raven I saw in WWE, and I thought he was GREAT. *Shrugs* But that's just me, and I haven't seen the Raven that other people worship for being so great in "E-C-Dub, E-C-Dub" or the leader of the Flock in WCW. Before my time, dude. Before my time.

Sounds like something my mom would do. *Laughs* Another great column by Matt Hardy, once again he makes a good point and told some funny stories while doing it. Gaah, if I see him at Axxess I'll end up making a fool of myself, I'm sure.

Hurricane Helms, you are my hero.

Thanks Vince, for knowing what the fans want! We don't want Raven and his excellent promos! We want A-Train! And Batista! And TEST! Fucking morons over in Connecticut. That's it, I'm bringing a "Where's Raven?" sign to Wrestlemania.

... What, exactly, is wrong with a *** match? That sounds good enough to me. Oh, and while making a babyface look weak in the beginning of the feud is a bad idea, I think it would have been great if Angle cost Brock the Rumble and Jericho had won instead of being sacrificed to TEST of all people. I know that HBK interfered, but still... TEST! The only problem with that is that it would ruin Jericho vs. HBK which should be a pretty good match.

I was gonna say Christian, but then I remembered the period between The Brood and the Era of Awesomeness, and the beginning of the Invasion. What about Jamie Noble?

Best Moments: Bad Gimmick Montage (Even if some of them shouldn't have been on there) Fans Booing Rock Jericho, Christian, and Team Angle (Including Kurt, of course) Worst: Shawn Michaels making fun of Bertha Faye. Christ, she's dead, though I'm starting to get the feeling that the WWE doesn't know this. Undertaker vs. Jeff Hardy being nominated for Best Raw Match Ever. Mae Young Giving Birth to a Hand winning an award.

Well, looking at what O'Haire was wearing, it seems more like he's some sort of satanic devil's advocate guy tempting you to sin.

What about Nailz? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Damn me having to log in, I was beaten to it.