NYU

*"The Wall" hits and Alfdogg makes his way to the ring, in his new OAOAST Originals Jersey.* COACH Here comes Alf down to the ring! This is a pleasant surprise! COLE Well, I agree with half of that statement, this is surprising. Alf not on the card tonight, but making his way down to the ring! *Alf attempts to speak, but the crowd is booing loudly.* ALFDOGG And to think, the OAOAST pitied this place so much due to the fact that you won't be having the NBA playoffs in town this year...(crowd boos louder) that we brought Living Angleously into town. Hell, you people just had WrestleMania three Goddamned weeks ago! How spoiled can this town be? *crowd continues to boo* ALFDOGG I was in such a good mood too. After all, my speech ten days ago was able to motivate Shaquille O'Neal to lead his PLAYOFF team to victory. I mean, you have to respect this guy, fighting through all the cumulative injuries to his feet and legs, amassed while carrying this ungrateful city to four NBA Finals in five years! *more boos from the crowd* ALFDOGG And now you people have ruined my mood! But enough about you people, because you don't deserve my attention. I'm gonna focus my attention to this Thursday on HeldDOWN. Seeing as I was left off the card tonight by the crack booking staff, this Thursday, from Phoenix, AZ, I'm laying out an open challenge to anyone in the back who thinks they can take me in a falls-count-anywhere match! *crowd now starts to cheer* ALFDOGG So I'll be in Phoenix this Thursday. I bet Kobe Bryant wishes he could say the same now, huh? *crowd boos* ALFDOGG Haha. I'm outta here! *"The Wall" hits and Alf returns to the dressing room.* CABOOSE Well, that was certainly something. COACH Alf is DA MAN~! Though I'm disappointed we didn't see him bring out the ham. That's going to make for an amazing shirt one day. COLE Moving on, our OAOAST Tag Title match is coming up next. Let's get to the ring! Chase which sounds a lot like futuristic porno music hits leading the darling Southern Californians to boo their little hearts out. As purple lights flash on and off near the entrance way, and a blue X appears on the stage, the curtain swings open revealing none other then the soon to be legendary trio of Ned Blanchard, Simon Singleton and James E Cornette, The Midnight Express. BUFFER The following tag team match is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of thirty minutes and it is for the Professional Wrestling tag team championship of the world. Introducing the challengers....being accompanied by their manager Jim Cornette, first from Charleston, South Carolina, he is the Sultan of Sarcasm...SARCASTIC SIMON SINGLETON! And his partner from Los Angeles, California...he is the handsome hustler... NARCISSISTIC NED BLANCHAARD, together they form the New New Midnight Express! Ned, being born and raised LA gets a smattering of cheers while his partners receive their fair share of heel heat. The three man confidently strut to the ring, followed by a train of purple spotlights. COACH The stipulation is that if the Chicks lose this match they’ll never get another tag team title shot as long as the Express hold the belts. CABOOSE With the roll these guys are on that could be a long time, Coachman. Cornette sets up shop on the outside, as Simon slides into the ring and begins running his fingers along the waist where his belt will reside after his team emerges victorious. Ned takes off his sparkling purple robe and passes it to an attractive ring attendant. COLE Out of all the major tag teams in the OAOAST, The New New Midnight Express are the only ones who haven’t been beaten by Chicks Over Dicks. The most gorgeous red pyro fountain imaginable springs forth from the entrance stage, illuminating the darkened area. Every single person in the arena, who’s not bound by a wheelchair or overdosing on heroin, leaps to their feet and roars in anticipation, to herald the arrival of their hometown heroes. The opening strains of Anything but Me by pop sensation Lindsay Lohan roll out of the speakers, and the noise level increases exponentially in volume BUFFER And the champions.... “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” BUFFER from Los Angeles, California....KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN, ALIX SPEZIA...... “CHICKS OVER DICKS” hollers the raucous crowd, finishing off Buffer’s announcement The California girls decide not to make their hometown crowd wait any longer. As the fountain finally sinks back to the floor, the champs step out on stage on stage and the raucous cheers reach a deafening level. As red and yellow lights dance across her shiny body, Krista foists her glittering tag team belt high into the air, nodding at the fans and acknowledging their most appreciated support. Alix rocks her body back and forth, pumping her fist in the air, hyping the audience into an even further frenzy, matching the energetic pace of the strobe lights. COACH Oh baby, baby! Despite being in the OAOAST for a little under a year, this is the first time Alix and Krista have ever wrestled as a team in their hometown. The team walks down the ramp, escorted by the noise of the front row fans beating out the tune of their entrance music on the steel barricade, and those in the stands playing it on the backs of the seats. Krista rolls into the ring and heads right to fellow Californian, an envious Ned Blanchard. She shoves the tag team title right into his sneering face while unloading a heap of vulgarities on him. Camera flashes pop across the arena, as everyone seems to want a photographic memory of the night their heroines derailed the runaway train that is the Midnight Express. Alix, clad in her usual hippy attire, scales to the top rope and throws up her trademark peace sign, smiling an adorable smile, and reveling in the largest pop of her young career and possibly the largest pop of the night. COLE Chicks Over Dicks and The Midnight Express weren’t even in the OAOAST last year. They were both part of that influx of tag teams we saw over the spring and the summer. With the glaring exception of the Frankensteiners all those new teams have made a name for themselves in the OAOAST in only about nine or ten months. The music comes to an abrupt end, leaving the feverish crowd to supply the noise. *DING DING DING* We began the contest with Ned Blanchard and Krista Isadora Duncan. Old flames, now burning with bitterest contempt for one another, their unhealthy hatred lending an emotional flair to the title bout. The sell-out crowd is heavily in favor of the hometown champs as “COD” chants parade across the arena. But the two combatants are locked into their own little world, removed from the throng of humanity watching them, each taking a moment to think how they were irreparably wronged by the other. COLE A few short weeks ago, Krista dropped a bombshell on us by revealing Ned to be the father of her child. Now their personal feud comes to a head. Behind the rage tinged blue eyes of Krista, lies some reluctance. The golden haired diva is understandably uncomfortable with locking horns her beloved daughter’s father. Ned senses his ex’s unwillingness to do battle and it melts his cold heart into a weepy, emotionally touched puddle. For the first time in his twenty eight years on this planet, Ned sees himself for what he truly is; a self absorbed, selfish bastard, who’s never done a kind thing for anyone besides the person staring at back at him in the mirror. This realization tears at him, pulls away at the barrier that protects him from the judgement of cruel reality, and leaves him and empty husk of the man he once was. This sudden epiphany marks the death of conceited Ned Blanchard. From it’s still warm corpse, springs forth a man overflowing with positive energy and a passion to right his multitude of wrongs. This new man requests a microphone. NED Krista, honey, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to you. You and I have a daughter. A beautiful daughter. And we need to work together to raise her. Fighting each other? That doesn’t help her. So, I want you to pin me so we can get this over with. And hopefully that will go a small way to making things right again. “Are you crazy?” Jim Cornette screams on the outside, eyes wide, practically yanking out all the hair from his scalp. Poor Simon Singleton is barely able to stop himself from fainting. Knees weakened, forehead ransacked by a cold sweat, he gets support from the ring ropes as he views Ned get down on his back. The fans begin to murmur, not having the foggiest idea of what’s transpiring. CABOOSE ?! Krista looks at Alix, who just tells her to do what he says. She stares at Ned with eyebrows raised in understandable skepticism. Ned looks up at her with a sorrowed face and pleading eyes. Wetness from a vague sadness appears in them, as he prays that Krista will help him down his long road to redemption. “Oh all right.” Krista snorts. “I’ll do it for Maya.” Krista pins Ned and referee Clem Boxerfeller, confused as everyone else, makes the pin count. 1 2 FOOLED U MU’FUCKAS!!!111! NED KICKS OUT!!!! Krista lies on the mat giving Ned a virulent stare that contains a lethal dose of her hellish venom. As the crowd bathes him with the most obscene of jeers, Ned runs a deplorable victory lap around the ring. His smile runs as long as the Pacific Coast Highway and the cruelty of his cackling laughter is projected into TV screens across the globe. Jim Cornette smiles thinly, while Simon, his body drenched in sweat despite not even wrestling yet, damns Ned under his breath for nearly giving him a heart attack. COLE Is Ned crazy? Is this man some kind of nut? Ned sports a grin despicable in it’s self satisfaction. Continuing to display the lack of class that has made him one of the most hated fighters in the OAOAST, The Handsome Hustler shoves Krista in the chest. The champ looks back at him in utter shock, unable to fathom how he could be so shallow as to put his daughter through the trauma of watching her parent’s fight. Again Blanchard shoves her, mocking her with needlessly vulgar barbs at the same time. The crowd and Alix, both dying to see Ned get his comeuppance, appeal to her to fight fire with fire. And that’s what she does! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Grabbing a hold of his arm, she violently whips him into the ring ropes. Ned returns and Krista deploys a lariat. As that was the exact move he was expecting to see, Blanchard easily ducks under her arm and keeps on chugging. He comes back at her only to have his stomach collide with her knee. That was unexpected. Doubled over, Ned looks like he’s choking on a chicken bone, every bitch I bone can’t leave the dick alone, so I know it’s one of them every time I flip my phone. Anyway, Krista grabs him in a front face lock and hits him with a DDT, netting a crowd pop in the process. The Handsome Hustler gets onto his knees, appearing slightly dejected over his native town’s dismal show of support. COACH They’re treating Krista and Alix like they’re the Lakers and Ned like he’s the Kings. As in LA Kings. Not Sacramento Kings. COACH Stick to homoerotic innuendo. Ned stands up and immediately locks up with Krista, figuring that the best tactic to winning this match would be to overpower her with his sizeable strength advantage. He hits an arm wringer, getting applause from a few fans that are probably related to him. Krista does her little backflip spot and frees herself from her ex’s clutches. Before Blanchard can react, Krista grabs him into her trademarked headlock, popping the crowd. She tightens the hold, attempting to wear down Ned, still using mostly non lethal moves on her baby’s daddy. CABOOSE Forget about her kid’s feelings, if Krista actually wants to retain the titles, she’ll have to start hitting some serious attacks. Obviously, Ned has no qualms about punishing Krista and counters her semi passive wrestling with an aggressive back suplex. Neddy Bear stands up, towering above Krista, flexing the impressive muscles that were sculpted in the gym’s of Venice. After his lengthy posedown routine reaches a finale, Mister Blanchard hauls Krista to her feet, but not before bashing his unpadded elbow into the back of her skull. The former tag team champion attempts to Irish whip the current tag team champion, but Krista reverses it, pulls Ned in close and wraps on another headlock. The KID-loving fans clap but are starting to hunger for some more fast paced action. COLE Cole’s Bar this Thursday on the OAOAST Network. All new. Don’t miss it! Headlock takedown by Kris? No, Ned blocks it. Headlock takedown by Kris? No, Ned blocks it. Izzy is getting visibly frustrated which brings another smile to Ned’s face. Although her headlock takedown attempts are utter failures, they do manage to inflict slight damage to Ned’s neck. Realizing this Ned puts a stop to her almost unending takedown efforts with one more back suplex! Krista lands on the mat with a hard thud, instantly scowling ferally at Ned, who’s reciting the same “she likes it rough” joke that’s heard in every COD match. “DEADBEAT DAD! DEADBEAT DAD! DEADBEAT DAD!” chant the spectators, no longer showing Ned any native son respect. Upon hearing the spiteful words of the crowd, Blanchard’s mouth contorts into a nasty scowl as he stands Krista up. Taking his irritation with the observers out on his ravishing old flame, he peppers her with ultra quick jabs. The shots cause Krista to tether like a bobble head as Ned comes with them fast and furious. He gives her an Irish whip to the ropes, where Alix Spezia makes a blind tag! The audience puts forth a calvary of cheers. Because he never saw a tag, arrogant Ned foolishly assumes the voices of adulation are reserved for him, sent to carry the chiseled adonis to highest peak of wrestling popularity. “I’M TALKING IN UPPER CASE LETTERS! THAT MEANS I’M MAD!” Alix bellows, still standing on the arpon. “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” Alix steps onto the black ring ropes and launches herself halfway across the ring to Ned, getting remarkable hangtime. She extends her legs forward and wraps them across Ned’s neck, crossing her ankles to seal her head scissors. Our deluded narcissist cracks a smile of erotic glee as he savors Alix’s scent, as she twists him round and round like a merry go round! Eventually Ned has enough of being spun around and counters her spinning head scissors with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! However, Alix being one of the more agile wrestlers in the OAOAST, counters this by swinging her body out and pulling Ned to the mat with a crossface! As 18,000 thousand of Alix’s fellow Angelinos rise to their feet, she cinches in the Crossface submission hold! COLE Crossface! “TAP! TAP! TAP!” they chant as Ned’s face turns several shades of blue, pain resonating throughout his roided up upper body. “Fight the pain, brother!” Simon implores, his body cocooned by a nervous sweat. Will Ned tap? Will he submit to the slaughterous weapon known as the Crossface? Will Ned throw away a chance to become a two time tag team champion? Will COD pick up a quick victory in their hometown? YES! NED TAPS! NED TAPS! NED TAPS! However, Jimmy Cornette has eighty-eight year-old referee Clem Boxerfeller distracted on the ring apron! Krista sees this, and needless to say she’s overwhelmed by a hot blast of cold anger. She marches over to Corny, who’s desperately pleads his case of innocence. Izzy will hear none of it, already convicting Jim in the court of her opinion. She rears her hand back and lowers her judgement on him by punching him right off the ring apron, popping the crowd! CABOOSE Oh no! Simon, who everyone seems to have forgot is in this match, spots his manager go down and is struck with the desire to defend the wrestling legend’s honor. Still on the apron he heads to Krista with extended arm for a clothesline. Problematically for the mundane grappler, Krista grabs his arm and slams it down across the top rope! Simon howls in sheer torment, feeling like his arm was ran over by an SUV. KID doesn’t have much in the way of sympathy for her enemy and boots him off the apron. Unfortunately Singleton lands on his feet. I say unfortunately because if he dropped to the mat in crumpled heap and played dead like Cornette, Krista may have forgotten about him and moved back to Neddy Bear. But because he chose to stay upright he’s a prime target for more of the yellow haired beauty’s passionate wrath. COLE Lolly, lolly, lolly, get your adverbs here. She gets onto the ring apron, smirking at the sight of Cornette’s broken body. She backs away slightly, then charges forward at full speed. As the stands become nothing but a white blob due to the flashbulbs going off, Krista hops off the ring apron and destroys Simon with a shining wizard! “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” JIMMY BAUER Shining Wizard DANGER-RUSSSSSS! Back in the ring, Ned has Alix in a setup for a back suplex, making it the third time he’s used that move in the match. But Ally Cat mounts an incredible battle against Ned’s hold and is able to slip out of it, landing behind him. Now, she gets a stunned Ned Man into back suplex position. Neddy Bear comically screams the word no, and motions for a morbidly obese woman in the front row to come and save him as Alix properly hooks in her move. Instead of lifting him and dropping him on his back as is the norm, she spins in front of him and hits him with a lariat takedown! If Ned was a cartoon character I’d imagine we’d see stars and blue birdies circling above his head right now. The hippy trippy honey, still upset about not being boner-fide moviestar, runs to the ropes and cartwheels back at Ned, and hits him with a cartwheel 450 splash! Into a pin of course.... 1 KICK OUT Nobody who isn’t named Simon, Ned or Jim is pleased with the pin count. Alix leaves the booing fans to protest over the call, as she stands Ned up and whips him. Ned hits the ropes and runs back at Alix, extending his left leg into the dreaded yakuza kick at the last minute! Despite the fashionably late arrival of the deadly maneuver, the feisty champion, who’s on a bad acid trip and think she’s wrestling Janis Joplin, is able to avoid it by ducking underneath his leg! She leaps onto his shoulders and snaps him backwards with an inverted hurricanrana, spiking his neck in disgusting fashion into the mat. Even the anti-NNMX fans have to cringe at the horrendous bump Ned’s neck just took. COACH Ouch! Playa, that hurts. Such insightful commentary. Anyway, Alix does more damage to Ned’s neck by serving it a standing shooting star leg drop for an appetizer. For an entree she gives him a heavenly standing moonsault elbow drop. And for the desert she treats it to a devilishly divine standing corckscrew moonsault. Her loyal fans are adoring every last bit of chef Alix’s delightful menu of aerial assault. Ned on the other hand is just about pushed to the brink of puking. COLE Ned likes rap music and water skiing. “YOUR NAME IS NED! YOUR NAME IS NED! YOUR NAME IS NED!” scream the fans, making fun of Ned’s god awful name. “I know my name, thank you!” Ned snaps back, massaging his injured neck. Alix hops back and forth across the ring, apparently playing hop scotch, even though there’s obviously no hopscotch court in the squared circle. Ned gets up, his fragile ego tormented by the crowd’s belittling of his chosen moniker. He and Al meet for a lock up. The reflection of perfection who needs no inspection (trying saying that 80 times fast) shoots behind the glue sniffing lovely for a waist lock. Going for a little R rated wrestling shenanigans, Neddy Bear begins to grind his “Cubby Bear” into Alix’s BUTT. After that lewd display is over, he flings her overhead with a German Suplex! But Alix lands on her feet! She waves to the sold out crowd, who wave back to her, while Ned is once again preoccupied with flexing and showing off his all natural (uh-huh) physique. She jumps into his shoulders, and they both face the gigantic ovaltron. Then she spins around so that she’s facing towards the announce table. Finally she falls backwards and hits her rival with another hurricanrana, again drilling his head against the hard canvas! “NED IS GAY! NED IS GAY!” chant a few bigoted fans, who probably make it a point to steer clear of West Hollywood. “Ask your mom about how gay I really am!!” Ned screams at the top of his lungs, again nursing his neck. “My Mom is dead, you insensitive prick!” a seventeen year old male fan in the front row shouts leading to chants of “Necrophilliac” Figuring it would be best to ignore the LaLa land fans for now, and seek a move to San Diego after the show, Blanchard gets into an upright position. Alix and Ned are now placed face to face. Alix, thinking that’s it’s time let bygones be bygones, offers Ned her hand in plutonic friendship. This confuses just about everyone in the arena. Ned, who’s always wanted a glue sniffing braindead friend, shrugs his shoulders and goes for the handshake. But before he can meet Alix for the sportsmanlike gesture, she pulls her hand away and runs it through her coffee colored hair. Sporting a shameless smirk, she moonwalks backwards. She winds up leaning against the ropes where she grins arrogantly at an annoyed Ned. CABOOSE These actions are uncalled for. Aflame with shame (I do believe that rhymes) Ned whips Alix to the tightly secured ring ropes. Instead of running back at him, like he’d hope, she does the always en vouge handspring back elbow! But The Ned Man is prepared! He foils her back elbow by countering it with a lung blower! Not only does that drain all the air of Alix’s teeny tiny little body but it drains the life out of the jam packed crowd. The bubbly brunette hollers in agony as Ned takes a much needed moment to catch his breath. CABOOSE Smart move by Neddy Bear, grabbing Alix’s chin, the dropping her back onto his knees pressed against his chest. Neddy Bear is all beauty and all brains. Covered in sweat Blanchard stands up, thankful that he’s managed to muzzle the once raucous audience. He fully intends on doing further damage to his much smaller opponent but out of the corner of his eye he spies Simon leaning over the ropes for a tag. Giving his longtime partner a knowing nod, he drags Alix to their corner and they make the tag. The two gladiators discuss what they believe to be brilliant strategy, their lips curving upwards into devious grins. Ned hooks Alix’s legs like he may flip her over for a boston crab, but instead of going for the pedestrian submission move, he flings her at his stringy haired teammate with a sling shot! Simon, chuckling like a maniacal comic book villain, watches a helpless Alix fly towards her doomed fate. He readies his leg then blasts her in the face with a superkick! The revolting sound of his boot smacking against her face is a fitting soundtrack to the gruesome visual of her head snapping back like a pez dispenser. Alix falls backwards, draping herself across Ned’s knees. Not satisfied with the pain inflicted, Simon harshly orders Ned to hold her in place. He hops onto the second rope, and springboards off to crush Alix with a brutal double stomp to the face! As a thunderstorm of boos strikes down on the arena, Ned rushes out of the ring so the ref can count Simon’s pin fall. 1 2 KICK OUT! The crowd noise instantaneously morphs from boos to wild cheers for the pinfall escape. Angry, Corny bashes his racket against the mat as the crowd continues to show their appreciation for their favorite daughter. Ignoring the dueling emotions of his manager and the spectators, Simon grabs a now standing Alix into a full nelson. He yanks her kicking and screaming into the air, where he swings her out into a rock bottom and lands her straight across his knee! Ned Blanchard comes off the top rope with a knee drop onto Alix’s face! A near riot erupts in the stands as the fans will no longer tolerate the Midnight’s abuse of Alix. Some boo, some jeer, some taunt, others make threats on the Midnight’s life. But all are powerless to do anything to help the current tag team champion. Boxerfeller is distracted by Krista Isadora Duncan, who in no uncertain terms is ordering him to get this match under control. Because of this, the heartless fiends that make up the Express are able to have their way with battered Alix. Simon snaps her over, putting her into a sitting position. A glazed over look on her face, she totters back and forth, unable to support her own weight. Smiling, Blanchard and Singleton exchange high fives before Simon kicks her in the face at the same time Ned kicks her in the back of the head. Alix’s emerald colored eyes simply roll into the back of her badly injured head, her expression goes blank, and her body slowly slumps over, drained of whatever life it had left. Ned gets back onto the ring apron as Simon pins Alix. 1 “BOOOOOOO” 2 “BOOOOOOOOO” The ref stops counting. Why? Because Alix’s foot is underneath the ropes that’s why. Cornette is livid, Simon’s in disbelief, Ned has an erection, but rules are rules and neither of the three can do much to change it. Now a man of intelligence would’ve moved Alix away from the ropes and pinned her for an easy victory. But on this night, Simon will not be classified as a man of intelligence. Because instead of pinning her, the South Carolina bred wrestler Irish whips her. Because wrestling logic dictates that she do so, Alix hits the ropes and runs back at him, moving like a zombie on speed. Singleton ducks down for what should be a harmless, easy to execute back body drop. But as he straightens out his not so muscular body and lifts hers into the air, the lovely diva clutches onto his purple his tights for support. With her free arm she hooks in a front face lock, and uses her momentum to twist their bodies around. She then plummets backwards and crunches Simon with a DDT! The audience comes alive seeing renewed hope for the survival of COD’s title reign! CABOOSE Oh no times two! Despite that being only the second offensive move he’s had to endure, Simon inexplicably sells it like he was electrocuted, jerking his body around, flailing his limbs, letting large wads of spit slide of the corner of his mouth. COLE Let’s go Al! With no prompting from Krista, the fans begin to valiantly rally behind their resilient favorite, as she undergoes the exhausting trek to her corner. Krista makes like Gumby, stretching her arm out as far as it can go, a picture of nervousness playing on her features as she’s unsure if Alix’ll be able to reach her in time. The spectators begin doing whatever it takes to give Alix the strength she needs to make the tag. Claping, stomping, and chanting her name, their undivided support is placed in her corner. Drawing from their loyalty, Alix stands up and makes the leaping tag to Krista! COLE Here comes Krista! The SoCal audience blows the roof off the Staples Center with a roaring ovation that welcomes Krista back into the contest! Just as Alix tagged in Krista, Simon tagged in her deadbeat ex-boyfriend, meaning we should have a tense finish to the heated bout. COLE This’ll be good. Ned charges at Krista only to get belted with a spinning wheel kick, that flips him over and crashes him into the mat stomach first. With Ned on the mat whimpering in distress, and the crowd on their feet, not even willing to entertain the thought of sitting back down, Krista decides it would be in her best interest to eliminate Simon. She rushes towards him, unleashing a second shining wizard on him! Simon has no desire to replay the misery the first one caused him, so he ducks Krista’s foot. He lifts his head up, and taps the tip of his scalp with his index finger, letting the crowd know how he intelligent he is. That’s when Krista murders him with a wonderfully vile kick to the back of the head. “YOU GOT SERVED! YOU GOT SERVED! YOU GOT SERVED!” Simon rolls out of the ring, leaving the match to end just the way it started, with Ned and Krista, the volatile mother/father combo. They exchange furious punches. However Ned’s brute strength isn’t able to overpower Krista’s deep seated passion to end his days. Due to this, she gains the upperhand, delighting the crowd. Ned’s face starts to look like Glass Joe’s a few seconds into the opening round of Punch Out. Sensing the end is near, and title retention is in her grasp, Krista goes behind him and hooks in a tight full nelson for a dragon suplex! Ned screams for help, but when he notices none is forthcoming he powers out of her grip. CABOOSE After tricking him into believing she was on the pill, the least she could do is the job for him. Blanchard, realizes that his title hopes rest on the next few minutes of this match and knows that he must go all out to secure victory. There are orders being screamed at him from Jim Cornette, but they’re inaudible over the downpour of the crowd noise. Blanchard whips Krista into the corner, where her back slams against the poorly padded steel turnbuckles. Gritting his teeth and lowering his head the Ned man charges at the former fitness model with a bronco buster! But the best selling author moves out of the way and Ned’s crown jewels are driven into the aforementioned turnbuckles! “YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP!” COACH I think there may be something symbolic about that sequence. Krista shows off a vengeful smile as she watches the brush strokes of salty tears paint a picture of misery across Ned’s face. As the fans belt out her name, the thirty two year old warrior exits the ring and scales to the top rope. Camera flashes decorate the state of the art arena as Ned looks pathetically at Krissy with teary eyes, softly begging for some semblance of mercy. Unable to melt her frigid heart, Ned looks on in horror as Krista blows him a sarcastic kiss before jumping off the ropes and striking him with a taste of his own medicine with a barbaric double stomp to the face! The observers go completely ape shit as Ned’s nose starts to gush an insane amount of crimson goo. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” CABOOSE His face looks like a menstrual elephant! Damn it, you harlot! I can’t blame him for dumping you! Haven’t you done enough to him? Apparently not! Paying no attention to Cornette’s desperate offers of lavish wealth if she’ll just let Ned go, Krista hooks Neddy Bear into a front face lock and places him onto the top turnbuckle. Blanchard is woozy, blood sliding from his nostrils all the way down to his toned chest. The fans are still on their feet, snapping pictures of each passing moment. Krista steps out the ring and climbs onto the second rope. Jim thinks about yanking her off but she shoots him a demonic glare that holds him hostage in his tracks. She hooks Ned into a 3/4 facelock, her hands becoming stained with his blood. “This is for Maya, bastard.” Krista mutters as she starts to step onto the third rope. COACH Is she going to do a top rope ace crusher? Whatever it is she has in store, the bloodthirsty fans are avidly awaiting it. However Ned makes them wait a little longer as he starts to shoot hard elbows rapid fire into Kris’ stomach. Unable to defend against them, Krista’s 3/4 facelock is shattered! Her footing on the ropes becomes tenuous at best and it appears to the alarmed crowd she might plummet to the paper thin outside mats. But Ned, wearing the crimson mask, keeps her upright and pulls her onto a fireman’s carry position. Seething with fury, Ned stands up with Krista situated on his broad shoulders. “BOOOOOOO!” COLE No! No! He won’t! That’s your baby’s mama! Stunning the thousands in the arena and millions watching on television at home, Ned jumps off the top rope. In mid flight he releases Krista’s legs and throws them infront of her body. He moves her head into a front facelock as they fall to the mat and her head is driven with repulsing but effective force into the canvas! COACH Fireman’s carry ddt! JIMMY BAUER DANGER-RUSSSSSSS! The audience has no clue as of what to make of this sudden and unexpected reversal of fortune. They scream as loud as humanly possible, urging their fallen heroine to rise to her feet and slay the traitorous villain. Ned, assaulted by a fiendish headache, spits out a tooth loosened from the double stomp Krista levied against him. He takes a deep breath, then exerts the last of his strength by pinning Krista. 1 “KRISTA! KRISTA!” 2 “KRISTA! KRISTA!” 3!!!!! *DING DING DING* “BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!” “YES! YES! YES!” hollers a jubilant Jim Cornette who’s jumping up and down like he equates winning the tag team titles with winning a two hundred five million dollar lottery. BUFFER Your winners and new tag team champions......THE MIDNIGHT EXPRESS! It would be a bit of an understatement to say the crowd isn’t exactly pleased with the outcome. Outright irate and feeling ripped off by the company, they drench the ring in a torrent of debris, beer bottles, vicious jeers and galled taunts. The only thing that keeps this from degenerating into sheer anarchy is that the person got the pinfall is from LA. CABOOSE I don’t get it. Ned’s from LA. A hometown boy won the match, these people should be overjoyed! Plus he struck a mortal blow against dead beat moms. One person who is overjoyed is Simon Singleton who walks up the ramp with his head held as high as his share of the tag team titles. Nearby fans douse him in warm beer and freezing soda, as security has extreme trouble in quelling their boiled over anger. Using his neon green sports coat as an umbrealla against the rain of alcohol and carbonated soft drinks, Jim Cornette trots after Simon. He’s trailed by Ned Blanchard, the white towel covering his face turned a bright red by the constant stream of blood flowing from his nose. COLE The Midnight Express have done it, becoming two time tag team champions after suffering a huge blow last month in a loss to the Heavenly Rockers. Dejected over the heart breaking knowledge that they’ve just competed in their last tag title match for some time, Alix and Krista hop over the barricade and exit slowly through the stands. They’re consoled by the groups of equally disappointed fans they pass, as they journey up the stairs and out of view of the cameras. Cole: Lets break away from the action momentarily and send it over to Mean Gene at OAOAST Hotline Central...take it away Gene! *cameras show a bunch of people sitting at a long table with phones in front of them. Standing in front of all that is Mean Gene with microphone in hand* Mean Gene: Thank you guys and to all the fans out there, do I have a scoop for you. Call now to find out which OAOAST SuperStar has signed on to an edorsement deal with Elmer's Glue! Also I have a juicy tidbit that's just in the works. A former OAOAST X-Title holder makes their full time return to the ring this week on HeldDown, who is it? You'll just have to call and find out! *Mean Gene flashes a smile as the phones start ringing off the hook. Suddenly the fans cheer as James Allen (formerly The Superstar) makes his way over to Mean Gene* James: Hey Gene, are you talking about me there? I have a match this week on HeldDown and I am a former X-Title holder so I was just guessing you were talking about me... *Mean Gene's smile quickly turns upside down as the phones stop ringing. Gene drops the mic and just walks away throwing his hands up into the air and mumbling about how James ruined his chances at buying that new boat. James picks up the mic and looks into the camera* James: And remember to catch "House of Fire" at your local theater this summer! *James strikes an action pose from his film and then smiles at the camera and gives a cocky nod. From there we're taken back over to Triple-C at Sofa Central* Cole: Well...that was interesting. Anyway, a battle between two OAOAST LEGENDS is coming up next!

COLE Let’s take a look at the history behind our next matchup for the 24/7 Title. It’s “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican defending his title against former Lightning Crew member John “Rock Hard” Brickston, and it’s coming up in just a few minutes! The OAOAST Living Anglelously logo flashes across the screen. Footage is shown, with a caption in the bottom right hand corner reading: OAOAST INTENSEZONE JANUARY 20, 2004 PRL is in the ring with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez: PRL He is the member that I am SURE WILL DESTROY THE MAD CAPPA!!! I am proud to let Cappa know, that I have added one more member for you to overcome. But trust me. It won’t be easy. For if you are lucky enough to win tonight, you will have to face this machine. This monster. He is my greatest creation, and I am ready to unleash him into the world. Ladies and Gentlemen. LINDSAY It is time to introduce to you the future of professional wrestling! The evolution of this business! PRL A man, who will be the first of many. A man who will lead my army. A man who will CRUSH THE MAD CRAPPA! He is what every Lightning Crew member should be. When you follow my beliefs. When you do everything I say. When you are Lightning Crew through and through 4-Life. You will become him. He is an example of what I want in a Lightning Crew member. Ladies and Gentlemen, I introduce to you. MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ PRL’s greatest achievement! PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING Here is he. The NEWEST MEMBER OF THE LIGHTNING CREW!!! I proudly introduce to you…. PROTOTYPE: THE PERFECT LIGHTNING CREW MEMBER!!! The lights go down in the arena. The crowd pops in anticipation. “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Boyds begins playing. A lightning bolt hits the entrance as the Lightning Crew entrance video plays on the AngleTron. The crowd boos as smoke and fog fill up the entrance and lights flicker on and off in the entrance. Suddenly, through the fog a 6’6” man appears. The crowd is in shock. (Cut to) PRL PROTOTYPE, are you ready? PROTOTYPE Yes sir. I am at your bidding. PRL Good, and call me boss. PROTOTPYE, do you have any words for the audience? PROTOTYPE Boss, I will crush anybody I face. I will strike fear into your enemies. I will make sure that nobody, NOBODY messes with you. I will do whatever you ask of me. I am your servant, I am your creation. I am a MONSTER!!! IAM YOUR GREATEST ACHEIEVEMENT!!! I AM UNSTOPPABLE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!! The Living Anglelously logo flashes by once again. A caption reads: OAOAST INTENSEZONE FEBRUARY 3, 2004 JR PROTOTYPE has just used the PROTOPLEX on Paul Hartford Sanders. Could this be over? PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING What do you mean “could”? It is over! PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member covers Paul Hartford Sanders. The referee counts. 1… 2… 3!!! *DING DING DING* PRL YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!!! PROTOTYPE HAS WON JUST LIKE I TOLD YOU ALL!!! I TOLD YOU SO!!! I TOLD YOU SO!!! I RULE! I RULE! I RULE! GARY MICHAEL CAPPATETTA Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this match…. PROTOTYPE: THE PERFECT LIGHTNING CREW MEMBERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRR!!!!!!!! ”No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Boyds begins playing again. The referee raises PROTOTYPE’S arms in victory as the crowd boos and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Paul Hartford Sanders struggles to get up, but PROTOTYPE grabs him and throws him over the top rope causing the crowd to groan. (Cut to) PROTOYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member stands in the ring. He looks at Jim Ross, and then sneers. He exits the ring with the crowd wondering what he is going to do. Suddenly, PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member lounges after Jim Ross, grabbing him and dragging him across the announcer’s table onto the floor. Puerto Rican Lightning slaps the cowboy hat off, grabbing a microphone and ordering PROTOTYPE to take Jim Ross into the ring. “No Chance In Hell” stops playing. The crowd begins booing once again as PROTOTYPE throws Jim Ross into the ring, and follows with PRL. JR What are you doing? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? LET ME GO! LET ME GO! YOU BASTARD LET ME GO!!! PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING Very good PROTOTYPE. Very, very good. Now--SHUT UP! The crowd boos loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” and throw garbage in Lightning’s direction. PROTOTYPE has Jim Ross by his shirt. JR has a worried look on his face. PRL walks over to Jim, and with an evil look on his face, slaps JR. The crowd jeers. PRL HAHAHAHAHA!!! YOU WANT TO TALK BAD ABOUT ME? PRL punches JR in the stomach. PRL YOU WANT TO TALK BAD ABOUT PROTOTYPE? PRL kicks JR in the nuts. PRL YOU WANT TO TALK BAD ABOUT LINDSAY? PRL slaps JR in the face again. PRL YOU WANT TO TALK BAD ABOUT THE LIGHTNING CREW?!!!! PRL hits JR in the face with a right jab. He chokes him with PROTOTYPE smiling evilly. The crowd boos. PRL looks at JR with rage in his eyes. PRL Well now, you are going to pay for what you have said! Puerto Rican Lightning kicks Jim Ross in the gut…and gives him the P.R. Nightmare. The crowd boos loudly, but PRL soaks it all in. He high fives PROTOTYPE. Jim Ross lies on the mat, clutching his stomach in pain. He struggles to get up. The “P.R. SUCKS!” chants get louder than usual. PRL CONTINUE BEATING ON JR, PROTOTYPE! BEAT HIM UP! HURT HIM! COME ON PROTOTYPE!!! OPEN HIM UPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!! PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member obliges and beats on Jim Ross. He nails him in the head with several fists, causing the IZ announcer to drop to the mat. Soon, JR is busted open, bleeding from the forehead and the mouth. PRL Don’t stop PROTOTYPE! DO NOT STOP! He maybe bleeding, BUT HE IS NOT IN PAIN! I ORDER YOU TO HURT HIM SOME MORE! THAT IS AN ORDER!!! HURT HIM!!! HURT HIM!!! HURT HIM!!! The crowd continues booing and throwing garbage in P.R.’s direction, as he lays in kicks to JR’s stomach, while PROTOTYPE beats on JR’s head causing it to bleed some more. PRL and PROTOTYPE urge Jim Ross to get up. He does get up slowly. PRL Finish him off, PROTOTYPE! FINISH THE BASTARD OFF!!! It’s now a slobberknocker, huh Ross? BAWD GAWD LOOK AT THIS! LOOK AT THE POWER OF THIS HOSS ISN’T THAT RIGHT JR? HUH? FINISH HIS OKLAHOMA ASS!!! PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member picks up Jim Ross and puts him in front of him. JR begs for mercy, but PROTOTYPE lifts him up for the pumphandle slam, but instead gives him a sitdown Powerbomb completing the PROTOPLEX. PROTOTYPE stands up and yells over the fallen JR, spitting in his face. PRL NO! NO! NO! PROTOTYPE CONTINUED! UNLEASH THE DEMON INSIDE PROTOTYPE! PROTOTYPE obliges, while the crowd boos and continue throwing garbage in his direction. P.R. does the slow cutthroat, and orders PROTOTYPE to attack with a sadistic smile on his face. He laughs evilly as Jim Ross struggles to get up. PROTOTYPE grabs him and laughs. He puts Jim Ross on top of his shoulders back first. He walks around the ring carrying the pained Jim Ross. He then delivers the PERFECT Finishing Move onto JR, with JR hitting the mat face first. The crowd groans, but soon gets back to booing as PROTOTYPE lies on the mat. PROTOTYPE heads to the outside and grabs a can of spray-paint. He heads back to the ring and spray-paints “LC” on JR’s chest. PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member and Puerto Rican Lightning raise their hands in victory over the fallen, bloodied, pained, Jim Ross. The Living Anglelously logo flashes by again. This time a clip is shown from: OAOAST HeldDOWN~! APRIL 1, 2004 PRL points at Colombian Heat, yelling at him: PRL You are the cause of all of this! All the unhappiness! All the pain! ALL OF THIS IS THANKS TO YOU!!! YOU STUPID IDIOT! I thought you were my friend! YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND! HOW DARE YOU DO SUCH A THING! How dare you cause me what means the world to me! I hate you! PRL shoves Colombian Heat to a turnbuckle. Colombian Heat defends himself by shoving PRL back. The crowd cheers for Heat’s comeback. PRL and Heat get into a shoving contest with the crowd cheering the whole time. MC OH MY! And it looks like PRL and Colombian Heat are at odds with each other! CABOOSE This is not right! This is not right all! Come on guys! You are best friends! You are amigos! You are padres! You shouldn’t do this! PRL shoves Colombian Heat, but Heat shoves PRL farther. PRL nearly lands on his ass. The two friends get in a staredown that causes The Lightning Crew to get involve. The crowd gets louder and louder, hoping that this means the LC are breaking up. MC We got some problems in The Lightning Crew camp happening right before our very eyes! PRL and Colombian Heat keep shoving each other, until PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member pulls PRL back and away from The Lightning Crew. The crowd boos loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” COACH DAMNIT! I wanted to see those two fight! PROTOTYPE tries to talk to PRL. The crowd boos loudly as PRL fights with PROTOTYPE. He shoves him, and then slaps him. MC Oh boy. That is not good. That is not good. COACH PRL shouldn’t have done that. You don’t want to make the monster angry! PROTOTYPE is furious. Puerto Rican Lightning realizes what he has done, and tries to calm down his creation, but PROTOTYPE grabs PRL by his dreadlocks and places him on his back. The crowd stands up and cheers loudly as PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member does the PERFECT Finishing Maneaveaur on Puerto Rican Lightning to a loud pop. Lightning lies on the mat unconscious. COACH Like Frankenstein, PROTOTYPE has turned on his own creator. The very man who made him! CABOOSE Please tell me that this is just an April’s Fools Joke. Please tell me that none of this is serious! Please tell me that this is all a joke. PROTOTYPE did NOT just do that! He did NOT just attack his creator! Please tell me that this is a joke! Please tell me! Come on! The crowd cheers PROTOTYPE as The Lightning Crew decide to charge after him. PROTOTYPE yells and this causes The Lightning Crew to all stand back in fear. PROTOTYPE grunts and snorts and then yells at PRL, who is struggling to get up. He rips his white Lightning Crew t-shirt off to a loud pop and then climbs over the ropes, and leaves the ring. PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member walks away from the ring sneering and grunting. The Lightning Crew all check on PRL, with worry looks on their faces, including Colombian Heat. MICHAEL COLE Well, it looks like PROTOTYPE is out of The Lightning Crew! (Cut to) PROTOTYPE leaves through the entrance. The Lightning Crew struggle and pick up Puerto Rican Lightning. PRL grabs the microphone and coughs, catching his breath. PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING (catching his breath) PROTOTYPE. (Cough) PROTOTYPE. Please, come back. Please, please come back. (Clutching his stomach) Please, I’m begging you. Please come back. PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member. I DEMAND YOU TO COME BACK! PROTOTYPE, I ORDER YOU TO COME BACK! PROTOTYPE! COME BACK! PROTOTYPE! COME BACK! COME BACK! COME BACK!!! PRL cries his eyes out as he holds onto the ropes. PRL is crying, but he speaks through his teeth, as an evil look appears on his face. PRL (yelling) Fine! PROTOTYPE! You want to go! You want to leave your leader? You want to leave your creator? You son-of-a-bitch! Then, PROTOTYPE, YOUUUUUUUU’RRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEE FIRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!! PROTOTYPE, AS OF THIS MOMENT, YOU ARE OUT OF THE LIGHTNING CREW!!! I DON’T NEED YOU!!! GO AWAY AND NEVER COME BACK!!! YOU HEAR ME!!! NEVER!!! NEVER!!! NEVER!!! The Living Anglelously logo flashes by once again. OAOAST HeldDOWN~! APRIL 14, 2005 PRL Still. Still, I do listen to my fans. I do listen to the Lightning Bolts all over the world. And the Lightning Bolts are telling me that they want to see me defend my 24/7 Title. They want to see me battle it out against the best talent the OAOAST has to offer. They want to see the 24/7 Champion defend the 24/7 Championship! So, right now, in…this…very…ring, I am issuing a challenge. A challenge for the OAOAST 24/7 Title, Sunday April 24th at Living Anglelously. But, I am not going to wait till then to find out who I will be defending my prestigious belt against. Uh-uh. If any of you OAOAST jabronies…uh…I mean Superstars want a title shot against moi, then come out to this ring right now. That’s all you have to do. Just waltz down to this ring and tell me face-to-face “P.R., I want to fight you for the 24/7 Title.” That’s it. That’s all. That’s all there is. Go ahead. I’ll wait. (Cut to) After a good 2 minutes of waiting, “Godman Syngman” by Quarashi begins playing. PRL, Popick, and the crowd are puzzled, since nobody in the OAOAST has that song as their entrance music. At long last, the entrance doors slide open, and a man appears. That man is PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member. A small pop is heard from several fans that remember PROTOTYPE from the IntenseZone days, but the majority of crowd has no idea who this man is. PROTOTYPE slowly walks to the ring, clad in red short tights, black fingerless gloves, black elbowpads, black and red kneepads, and black and red boots. COLE I know who that is! That’s PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member! He used to be a member of The Lightning Crew, but PRL kicked him out last year! He hasn’t been seen since April 1, 2004! COACH This is the guy that PRL counted on to take out The Mad Cappa! He brought him into the OAOAST as “Project: Cappa Killer” with the intent on crippling Cappa! Obviously, that didn’t work out, so PRL kicked him out of The LC because of that! CABOOSE It looks like PROTOTYPE is returning to the flock. They always do. It’s only a matter of time. (Cut to) PRL PROTOTYPE! How are you man? Long time no see. How are y— PROTOTYPE grabs the microphone away from Tha Puerto Rican. PROTOTYPE My name isn’t PROTOTYPE anymore. My name is John Brickston, but some people call me “Rock Hard”! (Clip) JOHN BRICKSTON Well, you are issuing a shot at your 24/7 Title for Living Anglelously. You just said that you don’t care if it is a rookie or a veteran; big guy or small guy; fat or skinny; the first person who came to this ring, you would fight at Living Anglelously. And since I just came to the ring, I guess that means that I am going to be facing you for the 24/7 Title at Living Anglelously. (Clip) PRL Okay. Okay. I’ll fight you at Living Anglelously, BUT FIRST, I have to see if you are worthy of being #1 Contender to the 24/7 Title. That’s why, in order for you to get at me, you’re going to get a POPICK first! And just for fun, the Italian Championship will be on the line! COLE Oh come on! Tha Puerto Rican is trying to prevent a match between him and John Brickston from happening! CABOOSE Now, now I wouldn’t say that. PRL just wants to see if Brickston is all he claims to be. He can talk the talk, but can he walk the walk? POPICK Oh yes, I will take you on for the Italian Championship! Just name the time and the place, I will come to the ring with the Italian Championship, and I will bring you down, baby. I will bring you down to Chinatown! Oh yes. (CLIP ALERT!) Once Popick is up, he whips Brickston into the ropes. However, Brickston reverses, Silverman moves out of the way, and Popick bumps into PRL, who flies off the apron into the barricade. The crowd cheers. Popick is shocked, so when he turns around, John Brickston grabs him, and gives him a belly-to-back suplex. Brickston quickly turns Popick over, and grabs his right leg, applying an anklelock on him. COLE Brickston has Popick trapped in the anklelock! John “Rock Hard” Brickston has the anklelock applied in the middle of the ring. PRL is still recovering on the barricade. Referee Billy Silverman checks on Popick, who is desperately trying to crawl to the ring ropes. The crowd is cheering like mad, hoping that the anklelock ends the match. "TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP!" COACH How much longer can Popick hold on? Brickston is yelling for Popick to tap. Since he is in the middle of the ring, and despite all his efforts, can’t make it to the ropes, and since Tha Puerto Rican is still dizzy from hitting the barricade, Stephen Joseph Popick has no choice… BUT TO TAP THE MAT!!! STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK TAPS OUT TO THE ANKLELOCK!!! *DING DING DING* (7:41) COLE I don’t believe it! MICHAEL BUFFER The winner of this match…and NEW ONE AND ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD ITALIAN CHAMPION…JOHN “ROCK HARD” BRRRRRIIICCCCCCKKKKKSSSSTTTOOONNNNN!!!! “Godman Syngman” by Quarashi starts playing again. John Brickston lets go of the anklelock, and has his hands raised in victory by Billy Silverman. The crowd cheers loudly, as Popick has his head buried in the mat. Brickston is handed the Italian Championship, and raises it to the roar of the crowd. COACH What a return from the man formerly known as PROTOTYPE! COLE John Brickston returns to the OAOAST tonight, challenges PRL for the 24/7 Title at Living Anglelously, and then beats Stephen Joseph Popick, an OAOAST veteran, to win the Italian Championship, the belt that was originally the Puerto Rican Championship, which was brought to the OAOAST by Tha Puerto Rican! The Living Anglelously logo flashes by. OAOAST HeldDOWN~! APRIL 21, 2005 Brickston grabs Stephen Joseph and places him in between his legs. The crowd cheers, thinking that a powerbomb or piledriver is coming up. Brickston plays to the crowd, and then prepares to lift Popick up. However… *BAM!* “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican hits John “Rock Hard” Brickston with the Sweet Chin Music! CABOOSE What a move from Tha Puerto Rican! What great timing! COLE John Brickston has been laid out with the Sweet Chin Music! PRL and Popick have finally managed to bring Brickston down to the mat! CABOOSE Now PRL has to continue the attack. He can’t relax for one second! (CLIP ALERT!) Popick charges at Brickston, but Brickston lifts him up on his shoulders, and gives him a Death Valley Driver. COACH That’s the Killswitch! One of Brickston’s signature moves! CABOOSE Come on, PRL! Get up! With Popick and PRL down on the mat, John “Rock Hard” Brickston looks to the crowd. He turns PRL around, and grabs his right leg, applying an anklelock on “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican. COLE The anklelock has been applied! And look at Tha Puerto Rican! He is screaming! He could tap out at any second! COACH Could this be a preview of what we can expect this Sunday at Living Anglelously? CABOOSE Why of course not! This isn’t a preview of anything! The crowd is going crazy, as Brickston cinches the anklelock on PR. However, Cuban Wall runs into the ring, and kicks Brickston in the back of his head, letting go of the anklelock. Cuban Wall punches Brickston in the face as the crowd boos. Referee Mickey Jay calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* (5:08) (CLIP ALERT!) Cuban Wall beats on John Brickston, and whips him into the ropes. HOWEVER, Brickston reverses, lifting Wall up on his shoulders, and giving him the Killswitch. PRL and Popick slowly get up, while Vitamin X and Thomas Rodriguez enter the ring. Brickston beats on X and Thomas, giving them both the Killswitch. Mr. Boricua enters the ring and beats on Brickston. Boricua gains the advantage, and clutches Brickston’s throat. He goes for a chokeslam, BUT Brickston elbows Boricua in the head, escaping the chokeslam. Brickston beats Mr. Boricua and whips him into the ropes, giving him a big boot. Mr. Boricua doesn’t fall, so Brickston lifts Mr. Boricua up, and places him on his shoulders, which pops the crowd. “Rock Hard” Brickston hits the 7 feet Mr. Boricua with the Killswitch to a loud pop. COLE John Brickston is on a roll! He just gave the 7 feet Mr. Boricua the Killswitch! COACH DAY-UM~!!! John “Rock Hard” Brickston lets out a mighty roar. He rips off his “P.R. SUCKS!” t-shirt, and throws it into the crowd. Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Popick carry The Lightning Crew members out of the ring. Brickston grabs his Italian Championship belt and raises it to the cheers of the crowd. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this match, as a result of a disqualification…JOHN “ROCK HARD” BRRRIICCCCKKKSSSSTTTOOOONNNNNNNNN!!!!!! “Godman Syngman” by Quarashi starts playing. John Brickston plays to the crowd, holding up the OAOAST Italian Championship. The Lightning Crew walks up the ramp, each one in serious pain, especially P.R., who is making threats at Brickston. The crowd chants “BRICK-STON! BRICK-STON! BRICK-STON! BRICK-STON!” Brickston smiles. The Living Anglelously logo flashes by on the screen one more time. The camera cuts to the interview area backstage. Josh Matthews is with “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican, who is wearing the 24/7 Title belt around his waist with a smile on his face. The crowd boos. JOSH MATTHEWS PRL, in just a few moments, you will be stepping into the ring with the man who you brought into the OAOAST, John “Rock Hard” Brickston. You have guaranteed that you will walk out of the Staples Center tonight still the OAOAST 24/7 Champion. Why have you gone so far as to guarantee a victory tonight here at Living Anglelously? “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN Well, Josh, I can’t guarantee a lot of things. I can’t guarantee that this War in Iraq will end tomorrow. I can’t guarantee that the Los Angeles Lakers will ever become NBA Champions again. (Boos) I can’t guarantee that there will be another season of Arrested Development. I can’t even guarantee that Star Wars Episode III will be any good. But what I CAN guarantee, is that I, Tha Puerto Rican, will walk out of the Staples Center, STILL Twenty-Four Seven Champion. Why you ask? Because I have something that John “Rock Hard” Brickston doesn’t have. Talent. Brickston might be big and muscular, but he doesn’t have the talent that I do. I wasn’t prepared for him these past two weeks, which is why he was able to dominate Popick and me like he has. But, I am mentally and physically prepared this time. I don’t care that Brickston has been successful outside of the OAOAST. It doesn’t matter to me if he has competed in the UFC, K-1, WBF, WWE, ROH, TNA, ABC, KFC, CBGB, or FCC. That doesn’t impress The Corporate Champ. Brickston, you’re in the OAOAST now, you’re in MY world. And in MY world, you are going to get CRUSHED, as I lay the smackdown on your candy ass with the millions and millions of Lightning Bolts cheering me on. When the match is done, you’re going to have to be taken away by medics in a stretcher! (The crowd boos) PRL So, that is why I, Tha Puerto Rican, guaran-DAMN-tees that I will walk into the ring as the 24/7 Champion and I will walk out of the ring, the 24/7 Champion. Because I am “The Corporate Champion”, because I am the greatest Puerto Rican wrestler ever, and because I am THE BEST damn Twenty-Four Seven Champion the OAOAST has ever, and WILL EVER SEE! THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~!!! Now, if you excuse me, I have a title to defend. WOOOO! Tha Puerto Rican leaves the interview area, and walks towards the entrance. But stops walking when he bumps into THE MAD CAPPA. The crowd actually cheers. PRL and Mad Cappa stare at each other, neither man moving. The crowd waits for a fight to break out. Instead, PRL smiles. He breaks out in laughter. Cappa is confused at first, but he soon starts laughing too. The two archrivals laugh at each other, confusing the hell out of the crowd. PRL Hey, remember that time when you defeated me at AngleMania III, embarrassing me infront of 78,000 people? CAPPA Remember that time when you threw me into a river, trying to kill me? PRL Or how about that time when I crushed your larynx and nearly ended your career? CAPPA Or how about that time when you bloodied me, and Mr. Boricua gave me a chokeslam through a table? PRL Nah, how about the time when you sent out a bunch of guys dressed as you, in order to distract The Lightning Crew from your actual entrance. Man, I didn’t know you had it in you! CAPPA That wasn’t as good as the time when you had some guy dress up as me and humble him to you. Or the time when you made me get on my hands and knees and beg you for the Puerto Rican Championship belt back. PRL Aw man. We should have had some good times together! CAPPA Good? You were a pain in my ass, and I’m sure I was a pain in your ass! Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa continue laughing, with PRL wiping tears from his eyes. Soon, PRL stops laughing, choosing to sneer at Cappa instead. Cappa follows, no longer laughing, and instead, sneering at PRL. The two men sneer at each other for a few seconds. PRL I still hate your guts, Mad Cappa! CAPPA Oh yeah? Well, you still make sick, PRL! PRL Dickweed! CAPPA Jackoff! PRL and Cappa walk away, disappointing the crowd, which hoped for another brawl between the two. COLE You know, some things will never change. COACH I do hope that one day these two men will battle it out once again. ”Godman Syngman” by Quarashi begins playing. The crowd stands up and cheers. After a few seconds of waiting, John “Rock Hard” Brickston comes out through the curtains with the Italian Championship belt across his waist. Brickston is greeted with a nice pop from the audience, which Brickston acknowledges. He shadowboxes in between slapping hands with the fans, as he walks to the ring. *DING DING DING* MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a sixty-minute time limit, and is for the One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Championship! Introducing first, the challenger, coming to the ring at this time. Standing 6-foot-6, and weighing in at two hundred and fifteen pounds. From Sacramento, California, he is the One And Only AngleSault Thread Italian Champion, JOHN “ROCK HARRDDDDD” BRICKKSSTTOOOOONNNNNNN!!! COLE John Brickston is making his OAOAST pay-per-view debut, and what an impressive two weeks this man has had. COACH Absolutely, Cole. As we just saw, John returned to the OAOAST on April 14th, and defeated Stephen Joseph Popick to become the new Italian Champion. He has decimated PRL and Popick every chance he has. COLE Brickston was kicked out of The Lightning Crew on April 1, 2004. Over a year later, on April 24, 2005, he has returned, the Italian Champion, and with a chance to become 24/7 Champion, should he defeat his former boss tonight. Brickston enters the ring, and lets out a mighty roar. He unhooks the Italian Title belt, and raises it to a loud pop from the crowd. “Godman Syngman” continues playing as John Brickston hands the Italian Championship belt to referee Nick Patrick. CABOOSE How terrible is it that a belt that once was held by Tha Puerto Rican, The Mad Cappa, and Drek Stone is now in the hands of some rookie? I don’t care that he is big; it doesn’t mean he deserves to wear the Italian Title! COLE I think he deserves the title. Did you see the way he manhandle Stephen Joseph when he won it? CABOOSE Like that is some kind of impressive task. It’s Popick! If PRL were the Italian Champion, we wouldn’t be in this mess! Brickston shadowboxes some more as “Godman Syngman” by Quarashi comes to an end. He looks at the entrance, as does the crowd. The lights go down. A Puerto Rico flag appears on the AngleTron. In big, white blocky letters the following words appear on the screen, with Tha Puerto Rican saying them: *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role '99" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and booing. PR is heard saying "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" throughout the song, while smoke fills the entranceway and the lights flicker on and off in the entrance. A few seconds elapse, and out from the curtains and through the smoke come "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican, and his manager and "Career Consultant" Stephen Joseph Popick. The crowds boos get louder. PR looks at the crowd with disgust, jawing with some fans. He looks at Popick, and the two of them begin their walk down the ramp. BUFFER And his opponent, accompanying to the ring tonight by his manager and “Career Consultant” OAOAST Corporate Member Stephen Joseph Popick; Standing 5-feet-9, and weighing in at two hundred and twenty-three pounds. From San Juan, Puerto Rico, he is the One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion, Ladies and Gentlemen; please welcome “The Corporate Champion” THA PUERTOOOOOOOOO RICCCCAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!! Chants of "P.R. SUCKS!" fill the arena, as PRL and Popick continue their walk to the ring. CABOOSE Now HERE is a champion we can all be proud of! PRL has done the 24/7 Title proud! COACH I don’t know how that is possible, seeing as how he was given the title by Popick, and hasn’t defended it since. CABOOSE Would you give the guy a break? He only won the belt 3 weeks ago! And he is defending the belt tonight, well within the 30-day time period. Like he has promised, he is going to be putting some honor back in the 24/7 Title. Tha Puerto Rican gets on the ring apron, and sneers at the crowd. With the 24/7 Title belt shining across his waist, Popick holds the ropes, and Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring. He spins around; soaking in the fans boos while "Know Your Role '99" continues playing over the P.A. systems. Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. The crowd is still booing loudly and chanting "P.R. SUCKS!" PRL heads to the second rope, and raises the 24/7 Title belt. He then heads to a second turnbuckle, and raises the belt again. PR hits a third turnbuckle, and raises his right arm in the air and "smells the electrificity" a'la The Rock. PRL does the same Rock pose on the fourth turnbuckle, receiving boos. CABOOSE Bow down to the best! Tha Puerto Rican gets off the ropes, removes his sunglasses earring, and HBK-like entrance attire, and chats with Popick while the lights go back on. PR, wearing the Puerto Rican flag facepaint, stares down John Brickston, who is at the opposite turnbuckle. PRL kisses the 24/7 Title belt, and hands it over to referee Nick Patrick, who raises the belt. Popick, wearing a Lightning Crew t-shirt, leather jacket, black jeans, and black boots, shares some last minute words of encouragement with PRL. "Know Your Role '99" dies down, while Patrick calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN (Champion with Stephen Joseph Popick) VS. JOHN “ROCK HARD” BRICKSTON Tha Puerto Rican and John Brickston stare at each other. The crowd is cheering Brickston on, chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Brickston leads the chants, while PRL tells the crowd to shut up. The two circle each other, waiting for the other to move. COLE PR and Brickston are trying to psych each other out. I doubt if Brickston is frighten of P.R. CABOOSE Yes he is. He’s dealing with someone who has the talent of Tha Puerto Rican. That should frighten any mortal man. PRL stops to jaw with some fans, who respond with more boos. He gets in a fighting stance, as does Brickston. Brickston goes for an attack, but PRL moves out of the way. PRL flips off Brickston. They lock up, and jockey for position. PRL uses all his strength and pushes “Rock Hard” into a turnbuckle. P.R. tries to kick Brickston in the nuts, but Brickston moves out of the way. The two lock up again, and once again jockey for position. PRL once again shoves Brickston into a turnbuckle, and goes to strike Brickston in the face. However, John blocks the punch, and hits PRL in the face with a right jab. “Rock Hard” Brickston punches PRL some more, pushing him into another turnbuckle. TPR scratches at Brickston’s eyes, gaining the advantage. CABOOSE Way to go, PRL! Popick applauds PRL. The Corporate Champ punches John “Rock Hard” Brickston in the face several times, and kicks him in the stomach. PRL grabs Brickston and whips him into the ropes, BUT Brickston reverses, misses a clothesline, misses a big boot, but grabs PRL on the third try and hits him with a Bossman Slam. PR holds his back in pain, but a few seconds later he gets back up. He charges at Brickston, and punches him. Brickston no-sells the punch, and beats on PRL some more. He knees him in the gut, and gives him some CLUBBERIN’, THEY BE CLUBBERIN’~! forearms. He Irish whips PRL into the ropes; PRL reverses, and then runs towards Brickston, only to get backdropped over the top rope onto the floor! COLE What power from John Brickston! CABOOSE PRL does this all the time. He gets his ass kicked in the beginning, but only because he hasn’t warmed up yet. But once he does warm up, oh boy, look out John Brickston! Stephen Joseph Popick checks on his protégé. PRL saids he’s okay, so he gets up. He shoves the cameraman aside, and gets back into the ring. A small “BRICK-STON!” chant breaks out. PRL hesitates for a few seconds, but he locks up with Brickston again. The man formerly known as Puerto Rican Lightning knees Brickston in the gut, and grabs a headlock. He cinches the hold tight, refusing to let go, even when Brickston drops to the mat. He punches Brickston on his forehead while applying the headlock. Brickston grabs PRL, and gives him a back suplex, letting go of the headlock. Brickston gets up, and grabs PRL’s right leg, going for the anklelock, but PRL quickly escapes, heading to the ropes. COLE The match could have ended right there! PRL uses the ropes to get up, his facepaint already starting to fade. PRL and Brickston hesitate, Brickston goes for a lockup, but PRL ducks, and hits Brickston with several Rock-style punches to the face. Brickston is dazed enough that Tha Puerto Rican can whip him into a turnbuckle, and follow with the Stinger Splash. PRL continues the corner attack, stomping a mudhole in Brickston. PRL uses his right boot to choke John, but referee Nick Patrick tells him to let go of the chokehold. PRL stops to pose, receiving boos. CABOOSE Come on now, ref. That was a legal move. COLE Maybe from your vantage point, but it was actually an illegal choke. PRL trashtalks Brickston, while Popick tells him to continue his offense. PRL whips him into the opposite turnbuckle. However, “Rock Hard” reverses, and hits PRL with a clothesline. P.R. stumbles out of the turnbuckle, and is met with a HURRICARANA from John Brickston! COLE Oh my! What a move from John Brickston! COACH This guy keeps surprising us! He’s 6’6” and yet he can do cruiserweight like moves! He’s incredibly agile for a man his size. Brickston covers P.R. He gets a two count. Brickston picks up Tha Puerto Rican, and punches him in the face several times. PRL sells each punch like he’s been shot. Brickston whips PRL into the ropes, and gives him a hiptoss, which causes PRL to scream out in pain. Brickston picks up PR and shoves him into a turnbuckle. “Rock Hard” hits PRL in the stomach several times, with the crowd cheering all along. P.R. manages to poke Brickston in the eyes to take over. Lightning chops John’s chest, getting “WOOOOOs!” from the crowd. P.R. grabs Brickston and rams his head on the top turnbuckle a few times. PRL goes back to chopping Brickston’s chest, which soon turns red. Brickston fights back, grabbing PRL, and throwing him into the turnbuckle, chopping his chest. Brickston rips off P.R.’s white Lightning Crew t-shirt, and chops his chest some more. Lightning manages to rake Brickston’s eyes again, stopping the chops. The crowd boos. “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” COLE That cheater! He can’t put up a fair fight, so he resorts to cheating in order to gain the advantage! COACH You think you’d know that by now, considering you’ve been calling PRL matches for the past year or so. COLE I would hope he would fight fair by now. Cole and Coach laugh. COACH Yeah, like that will ever happen! CABOOSE Idiots. PRL Irish whips John into the ropes. He hits a clothesline, but Brickston doesn’t fall. PRL is shocked, but hits him with another clothesline. Brickston still doesn’t fall. PRL heads to the ropes again, but Brickston grabs him and gives him a powerslam for two. John Brickston heads to top rope. The crowd buzzes, wondering what he has in mind. Brickston waits for Tha Puerto Rican to get up, yelling at him. Once P.R. does, Brickston shocks the crowd by doing a crossbody from the top rope! He goes for the cover. 1… 2… KICK OUT! Brickston is frustrated. The crowd cheers Brickston on. “Rock Hard” picks up Tha Puerto Rican, and then bounces off the ropes. PRL goes for a clothesline, but Brickston ducks the clothesline, grabs P.R. from behind, and then lifts him up, giving him a full-nelson slam. Brickston gets up, and tells PRL, “You can’t see me!”, complete with the hand gesture, which causes the crowd to pop. CABOOSE Oh, what a sign of disrespect. PRL brought PROTOTYPE into this company, and this is how he repays him? And talk about gimmick infringement! He’s so uncreative, stealing someone else’s mannerisms. Can’t Brickston come up with a mannerism of his own? COACH How can you say that Brickston is uncreative for stealing someone else’s mannerisms when Tha Puerto Rican is right there in the ring? CABOOSE Because I can. Brickston plays to the crowd while Tha Puerto Rican gets up, half of his facepaint now gone. Brickston kicks him back down. John “Rock Hard” Brickston picks PRL up, punching him. He whips him into the ropes, and goes for a big boot. P.R. ducks under the boot, hits the ropes, and hits Brickston with a flying clothesline, that takes the man down. CABOOSE Yes! That’s what I’m talking about! The cheers turn to boos. Tha Puerto Rican kicks Brickston several times. He hits the ropes, shakes his shoulders, dusts his right shoulder off, and then hits Brickston in the forehead with the Five Knuckle Shuffle. PRL follows up the Five Knuckle Shuffle with fistdrops to the forehead of Brickston. The crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS!” Popick tries to quiet them down. TPR jaws with the fans, and picks Brickston up. He hits Brickston with European Uppercuts. He goes back to the Rock-like punches, which take Brickston to the ropes. PRL charges after Brickston, and nails him with another flying clothesline, that sends the both of them over the top rope onto the floor! CABOOSE YEAH! YEAH BABY! THAT’S HOW YOU DO IT! COACH Did you go to the Shane McMahon School of Announcing? SHANE McMAHON BOO-YAH~! YEAH BABY! COLE I guess so. PRL gets up first, and attacks Brickston. He whips him into the stairs, causing the crowd to groan. He grabs a cable wire and chokes Brickston with it, while referee Nick Patrick begins counting in the ring. A group of ringside fans chant “P.R. SUCKS!” so PRL argues with them. He grabs Brickston, who is just now feeling fatigue, and rams his head onto the ring apron. He throws Brickston into the ring, just as Nick Patrick counts to 7. PRL continues the attack in the ring, kicking him repeatedly. He picks “Rock Hard” Brickston up, running with him towards the ropes. PRL leaps over the top rope, still holding onto Brickston’s head. Because of this, when PRL lands on the floor, Brickston’s neck connects with the top rope. Brickston’s neck snaps off the top rope, and he falls to the mat. The Necksnap is complete. PRL gets back in the ring, just as Brickston gets up. He runs towards Brickston, and leaps over him giving him the Lightning Shock to groans from the crowd. Lightning covers Brickston. 1… 2… 3—KICK OUT! COLE Tha Puerto Rican with lefts and rights on Brickston. And Brickston is fighting back. Right hand on PRL! Left hand! Brickston is indeed fighting back. He punches P.R. non-stop, and follows with an Irish whip into the ropes. John “Rock Hard” Brickston puts his head down, but instead of a backbody drop occurring, Tha Puerto Rican stops running, grabs Brickston’s head, and DRILLS him with a Dangerous DDT. COACH That’s got to hurt! COLE P.R.L. with the cover. 1. 2. And hegothim! Nohedidn’t. CABOOSE If I went to the Shane McMahon School Of Announcing, then you went to the Vince McMahon School Of Announcing. VINCE McMAHON OH YEAH! FLOAT LIKE A BUTTERFLY, STING LIKE A—WAIT A MINUTE. CABOOSE See what I mean? PRL argues with the ref, but after failing to convince the ref that it was a three count, PRL gives him the “Up yours!” hand gesture, and then applies a reverse chinlock on Brickston. John Brickston quickly gets up, and elbows PRL in the gut. Brickston heads to the ropes. Tha Puerto Rican leapfrogs over Brickston, and then does a reverse leapfrog over Brickston. Puerto Rican then hits a dropkick on Brickston, bringing him back down to the mat. With Brickston lying on the mat, PRL takes this as the perfect time to climb the top rope. The crowd stands up, knowing what is coming up. P.R. removes his left elbowpad, and throws it into the crowd. He trash talks Brickston…and then leaps off the top rope, doing the “Up yours!” gesture while in mid-air, and hits John “Rock Hard” Brickston in the chest with the Corporate Elbowdrop. CABOOSE Absolutely picture perfect move! You can only expect the best from Tha Puerto Rican! PRL goes back to the chinlock. The crowd takes it cue, and starts cheering Brickston on. Chants of “BRICK-STON!” are heard, while PRL and Popick try to quiet down. Referee Nick Patrick checks on Brickston, while PRL yells “ASK HIM IF HE QUITS!” The crowd claps in unison. The ref checks on Brickston’s right arm. It falls. 1! The ref holds Brickston’s right arm in the air again. It falls. 2! CABOOSE Well, boys, this match is all but over. A hush silence falls over the crowd. Popick and PRL each have smiles on their faces. John Brickston is fading away, as is PRL’s facepaint, which is all but gone. Referee Nick Patrick holds Brickston’s right arm in the air once again. The arm falls—NO!—It did not fall. Brickston is still alive. Brickston is showing signs of life, which causes PRL to shake his head in disbelief. The crowd comes alive. Brickston gets on one knee, with PRL on his back, still clutching the chinlock on him. COACH Well, Caboose, I guess you were wrong about the match being all but over. CABOOSE Shut up. John Brickston gets to a vertical base, with Tha Puerto Rican still applying the chinlock. Brickston walks around the ring, looking like he is giving Tha Puerto Rican a piggyback ride. PRL has a look of fear on his face. Brickston runs backwards into a turnbuckle, slamming PRL in the back in the process. PRL still holds onto the chinlock, so Brickston does it again. PRL still holds on, refusing to let go of the chinlock. Brickston laughs, so he slams PRL into the turnbuckle again. PRL finally lets go of the chinlock, and is thrown across the ring. Brickston grabs PRL, but PRL gives him a lowblow. COLE Now how can the referee not notice that? PRL laughs at Brickston’s pain, and punches him in the face. He gives him a Russian Legsweep. The Corporate Champ picks up John Brickston and punches him in the face. He whips him into the ropes, and puts his head down. Brickston grabs PRL, and puts him between his legs. “Rock Hard” lifts PRL up, and gives him a powerbomb to a loud pop from the crowd. He goes for a cover. 1… 2… KICK OUT!!! CABOOSE Phew. COLE John Brickston may have “The Corporate Champion’s” number! CABOOSE Or he may not. Brickston beats on PRL. He whips him into the ropes, and goes for a clothesline. He misses, but then when PRL bounces off the opposite ropes, Brickston hits Lightning with a MASSIVE clothesline. COLE That nearly took his head off! The Corporate Champ struggles to get up. He crawls across the mat, holding his back, in pain. Brickston walks towards him, which causes Tha Puerto Rican to beg for Brickston to not hit him. He calls for time out, frantically trying to stop Brickston from attacking him. Brickston looks at the crowd, who cheer. He asks if they want him to attack PRL, and they respond with a loud “YES!” So, Brickston obliges, and beats on Tha Puerto Rican, with PRL’s screams turning more and more high pitched with each punch. He whips PRL into the ropes, and hits P.R. with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. He quickly picks PRL up, and punches him several times. Another Irish whip into the ropes, and John Brickston nails PRL with a big boot. “Rock Hard” Brickston looks at the downed Puerto Rican, smiles at the crowd…and lets out a mighty roar! COLE Looks like John Brickston is ready to finish this off! COACH We could be seconds away from a new 24/7 Champion! If John Brickston can apply the anklelock this match is over! CABOOSE And he will not because Tha Puerto Rican won’t let him! COACH Yes he will. CABOOSE No he won’t. COACH Yes he will. COLE QUIET! The crowd is going crazy as John Brickston picks up Tha Puerto Rican. “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican pokes Brickston in the eyes again. He punches Brickston in the face several times, and then grabs his head, and rams it into a top turnbuckle pad. Lightning trashtalks Brickston, and rakes him in the eyes. P.R. whips Brickston into the opposite corner, HOWEVER, the whip is reversed, and PRL does a Flair Flip onto the ring apron. P.R. laughs at the crowd, pointing to his forehead, letting the crowd know how smart he is. Unfortunately for Tha Puerto Rican, when he turns around, Brickston gives him a clothesline. PRL rolls back into the ring. He is picked up by Brickston, and given a belly-to-back suplex. John then gets up, and plays to the wildly cheering crowd. Popick gets on the ring apron to distract the referee. Because of this, referee Nick Patrick doesn’t notice when Cuban Wall and Vitamin X run into the ring. They attack John Brickston from behind, and beat on him. COLE Damnit! The Lightning Crew are out here again! COACH Come on, Cole. You knew sooner or later they would show up. All 387 members. While Popick is busy distracting the referee, Cuban Wall and Vitamin X beat on their former Lightning Crew compadre. They both whip him into the ropes, and are met with a MASSIVE clothesline! Both LC members get up, so Brickston gives the Killswitch to Vitamin X, and then to Cuban Wall! COLE John Brickston has just taken care of two members of The Lightning Crew! CABOOSE Cuban Wall and Vitamin X? Those three use to be pals! Oh, why must Brickston treat his friends this way? You hate PRL, why you gotta hate Wall and X? COACH Because he hates The Lightning Crew, not just Tha Puerto Rican? CABOOSE I didn’t really expect an answer, you nitwit! Popick gets off the ring apron, so Nick Patrick finally notices The Lightning Crew members in the ring. He and Brickston order them to get out of the ring. Meanwhile, Stephen Joseph Popick reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a pair of brass knuckles. He hands them over to Tha Puerto Rican, who is lying on the mat. Tha Puerto Rican puts the brass knuckles on his left hand, and sneaks up behind Brickston. The crowd is going crazy, trying to let Brickston know what’s going on. Brickston doesn’t notice, still trying to get Cuban Wall and Vitamin X out of the ring with Nick Patrick. PRL turns Brickston around…and NAILS him with the brass knuckle covered left hand. The crowd boos. COLE No! No! Not like this! No! Damnit! No! COACH Tha Puerto Rican is going to steal this victory! CABOOSE Yes! Way to go, PRL! That’s how you do it! The crowds boos get louder by the second. PRL puts the brass knuckles inside Brickston’s right kneepad. He then covers Brickston, trying to get the referee’s attention. Vitamin X and Cuban Wall leave the ring, holding onto their backs at ringside. Brickston is still knocked out from the brass knuckles shot to the head. PRL covers Brickston, hooking his left leg. Referee Nick Patrick finally notices this, so he counts. COLE No! It can’t end like this! ONE! TWO! THR—AND BRICKSTON KICKS OUT AT 2.999999999!!! COLE John Brickston is still alive! COACH Dear God. How can he keep fighting like this? CABOOSE It’s because he’s an idiot. That’s why. He should just lie on the mat, and let PRL cover him, so that way he can get out of this match with his career still in tact. PRL can’t believe Brickston wasn’t pinned. He curses in Spanish, and then looks at Popick. Popick tells him “Don’t just stand there! Attack! ATTACK!!!” The crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” TPR kicks John in the stomach. He picks him up, and tries to give him a bodyslam. However, the height and weight difference is obvious, since PRL can’t even lift him up. COLE Is he seriously trying for a bodyslam on John “Rock Hard” Brickston? CABOOSE He’s Tha Puerto Rican! The Latino Superman! If any 5’9 wrestler can slam a 6’6 wrestler, Tha Puerto Rican can! PRL tries to bodyslam him several times, failing to do so each. Brickston, and the crowd, laugh at PRL’s sad, pathetic attempts. “Rock Hard” elbows P.R. in the back a few times, which causes P.R. to stop trying to bodyslam him. PRL stumbles around the ring, which allows John Brickston to grab PRL by his neck and choke him. He uses both his arms to lift P.R. up in a double chokehold, which the crowd loves. CABOOSE He’s cheating! It’s not fair! If PRL can’t get away with it, then neither should John Brickston! Referee Nick Patrick orders Brickston to let go of the chokehold. Brickston throws P.R. onto the mat. PRL lands on his ass. Brickston picks him up, but PRL Flair Flops back down. Brickston laughs at this, and picks him up again. P.R. uses all the energy he has left to punch “Rock Hard” in the face. He goes for the Rock-style punches, finishing with spitting his left hand, and then punching Brickston. He grabs Brickston, trying to go for a bodyslam once again. However, he still can’t manage to lift him up. Tha Puerto Rican lets go of Brickston, and holds his back in pain. Brickston takes that as the opportunity to grab Tha Puerto Rican and place him up on his shoulders. The crowd stands up, and cheers when John “Rock Hard” Brickston gives “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican the Killswitch to a loud pop. COLE The Killswitch! It's almost over! Brickston looks at the crowd with a smile on his face. He grabs Tha Puerto Rican’s right leg and turns him around, getting on his left knee to apply the anklelock on Tha Puerto Rican! COLE The anklelock! The anklelock has been applied! COACH Is Tha Puerto Rican going to tap? This is the move that was used to beat Stephen Joseph and win the Italian Title. Will this be the move that will win the 24/7 Title? CABOOSE No! No! No! For goodness sakes, don’t tap out, P.R.! DO NOT TAP OUT! The crowd is going bananas, watching Brickston cinch the hold on PRL. Referee Nick Patrick asks P.R. if he gives up. P.R. shouts out “NO!” PRL desperately tries to crawl over to the ring ropes, but can’t. After a few more seconds of the submission move being applied, Tha Puerto Rican…TAPS OUT TO THE ANKLELOCK!!! Referee Nick Patrick calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* (11:53) COLE He did it! John “Rock Hard” Brickston has defeated Tha Puerto Rican! He is the new 24/7 Champion! COACH He is a double champion! He is the Italian Champion AND the 24/7 Champion! “Godman Syngman” by Quarashi starts playing. The crowd goes loopy. John “Rock Hard” Brickston celebrates, while Tha Puerto Rican clutches his right knee. Brickston plays to the crowd, and then is handed the OAOAST 24/7 Title belt. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this match, and NEW One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion….JOHN “ROCK HARRDDDD” BRICCCCKKKSSSTTOOOOOONNNNNNN!!!! COLE It was a battle, but Brickston overcame The Lightning Crew and Tha Puerto Rican’s cheating to become the new 24/7 Champion! CABOOSE That’s not fair! Uh…uh…that’s not fair! He cheated! COLE Cheated how? CABOOSE He just did! I know he did! Brickston is handed the Italian Championship belt, and raises the 24/7 and Italian Championship belts to the roars of the crowd. He gets on the turnbuckles, and raises his title belts. Meanwhile, Popick tells Nick Patrick something. PRL struggles to get up, nearly in tears watching Brickston with both belts. Nick Patrick is shocked at what Popick told him. After some hesitation, Nick Patrick tells John Brickston to come over to him. Popick has an evil smile on his face. COLE Wait. What—what’s going on? COACH I don’t know, Cole. Popick told referee Nick Patrick something, and now Nick Patrick wants to talk to John Brickston. “Godman Syngman” dies down. Referee Nick Patrick checks on John “Rock Hard” Brickston. He reaches into Brickston’s right kneepad, and pulls out the brass knuckles. The crowd is in shock. Brickston proclaims that he has no idea where the brass knuckles came from. Brickston argues with the ref, but Nick Patrick doesn’t believe a word he says. He takes the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt away from John “Rock Hard” Brickston, and heads over to Michael Buffer. COLE Oh, damnit! What a low-life scum PRL is! CABOOSE I knew it! He did cheat! He did cheat after all! He used the brass knuckles! COLE What are you talking about? You and I both saw Tha Puerto Rican hit John Brickston with the brass knuckles, and then put them in his kneepad! This was just a backup plan, just incase PRL lost the match and the belt! CABOOSE I saw something differently. I saw Brickston use those brass knuckles in a BRUTAL attack on PRL! He cheated to win the match, and now he is going to pay for it! Referee Nick Patrick tells Buffer something. Buffer gets on the house mic. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, the decision has been reversed. (Boos!) Therefore, the winner of this match, as a result of a disqualification…and STILL ONE AND ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD TWENTY-FOUR/SEVEN CHAMPION, “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTOOO RICCCCAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNN!!!! The crowd boos REAL LOUD. A chant “BULL-SHIT!” breaks out. Nick Patrick hands the OAOAST 24/7 Title belt over to Tha Puerto Rican, who kisses it. He raises the belt for all the crowd to see. John Brickston is still in shock over the reversed decision. Popick gets in the ring, and raises Tha Puerto Rican’s hands in victory, the both of them laughing evilly. COLE Those no good lowlives. John Brickston has been SCREWED out of the 24/7 Title thanks to Stephen Joseph Popick! CABOOSE There’s no use crying over spill milk. The decision has been reversed. The referee’s decision is always final. Tha Puerto Rican is still the OAOAST 24/7 Champion. That’s what it’ll say in the record books. COLE It’ll also say that John “Rock Hard” Brickston made Tha Puerto Rican tap out to the anklelock! He DEFEATED Tha Puerto Rican! CABOOSE So, what? PRL keeps the 24/7 Title. That’s all that matters. John Brickston is filled WITH ANGER~! He chases after Tha Puerto Rican and Popick, but they zoom out of the ring, and exit through the entrance, but not before PRL raises the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt just to rub it in. Nick Patrick tries to calm him down, but Brickston lets out a mighty roar, and gives Nick Patrick the Killswitch! He then turns him around, and applies the anklelock on Nick Patrick! Nick Patrick quickly taps out, to the crowd’s approval. COLE John Brickston is furious, and he’s taking it out on the referee! CABOOSE You call PRL scum! Look at Brickston! Attacking an innocent referee! He should be fined for that! Brickston refuses to let go, and infact, makes it even worse, by turning it into a heel hook. The bell rings, but Brickston does not listen. Referees Charles Robinson and Nick Soapdish run into the ring. They try to make Brickston let go of the heel hook, but he doesn’t listen. They try to pull him off, but that just makes him angrier, so he lets go of the heel hook, and gives Charles Robinson and Nick Soapdish the Killswitch. Referees Earl Herbner, Mickey Jay, and Billy Silverman run into the ring, but they too, are met with the Killswitch. Brickston lets out a mighty roar, and applies the anklelock on Earl Herbner. COLE He’s taking out his frustration on anybody who gets in his way! COACH You can bet he wants to beat Tha Puerto Rican so badly right now! CABOOSE (yelling) He should be suspended!!! He should be fined!!! He should be fired period!!! He should be locked up in a mental institution!!! Him being here puts the entire OAOAST at risk!!! Look at him hurting these referees!!! Somebody should put a straitjacket on him!!! OAOAST Head Of Security Carl Winslow (slowly) runs into the ring. Soon, OAOAST Road Agents “Macho Man” Randy Savage, Terry Taylor, and Terry Funk join him. The four men struggle to pull Brickston off of Earl Herbner, who is still trapped in the anklelock. The three former wrestlers are able to pull the Italian Champion off the referee. They try to calm the furious Brickston down. But not before Brickston grabs Terry Taylor and gives him the Killswitch. CABOOSE YOU JUST HURT THE RED ROOSTER, YOU BASTARD! Winslow, Savage, and Funk are able to calm “Rock Hard” down. Brickston grabs the OAOAST Italian Championship belt and raises it, playing to the madly cheering crowd. “Godman Syngman” by Quarashi starts up again, as John Brickston leaves the ring with the Italian Title belt in tow, but without the 24/7 Championship belt in his hands also. Meanwhile, Carl Winslow, Randy Savage, and Terry Funk check on Nick Patrick, Charles Robinson, Nick Soapdish, Earl Herbner, Mickey Jay, Billy Silverman, and Terry Taylor. COLE What carnage has been left in the ring by John “Rock Hard” Brickston! He just went insane! COACH John Brickston has been screwed out of the 24/7 Title, and as a result, he destroyed anyone who got in his way! CABOOSE Thank God, he didn’t go into the crowd. Imagine the lawsuits the OAOAST would get if he went all “Psycho” on the fans. COLE I think Brickston has a right to be pissed. He won the 24/7 Title, but then PRL and Popick resorted to Plan B and got the title off of him and back to PRL! CABOOSE There was no Plan B. You’re talking nonsense. Brickston cheated, plain and simple. COACH That’s absolutely ridiculous! COLE Coach, don’t bother or we’ll be here all night. John “Rock Hard” Brickston walks to the entrance, muttering, still pissed off. The crowd chants “BRICK-STON! BRICK-STON! BRICK-STON! BRICK-STON!” He raises the OAOAST Italian Championship belt for the 18,000 fans in the Staples Center and then leaves, while “Godman Syngman” by Quarashi continues blaring over the P.A. system. CABOOSE Well, Brickston, atleast be happy knowing you are still the Italian Champion. You just couldn’t get the job done, tonight. HA! HA! COLE Brickston was screwed out of the title, so I’m sure this feud between Tha Puerto Rican and John Brickston isn’t over yet. COACH Not by a long shot, Cole.

COLE Thanks Josh! COACH You know if Josh grew a goatee....or you shaved yours off....you two would look exactly the same. COLE The white boy thing again? COACH Yep. CABOOSE LAME~! COLE Let's just go down to the ring for the FIRST of our five title matches up tonight! BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall and is for the HIYAH International Tag Team Championship! Cue: "Calling Dr. Love" As Kiss kicks out, the two familiar figures spring out, in matching green tights with long white coats. BUFFER From Chicago, Illinois, they are former HIYAH Tag Champions, at a total combined weight of 434lbs - Dr. Max Anderson - Dr. Steven Pigley - the LURRRRRRRRRRRVE DOC-TORS! The Docs sprint down to the ring and slide in under the bottom rope, before getting up to bust a move, removing their coats and throwing them into the crowd to the screams of the female fans. And male ones with high voices. Max and Steve highfive and await their opponents. Cue: "Hit Me Verdi One More Time" One of the stranger remixes currently on the market plays as two huge shapes emerge. BUFFER From the Depths of Hell Itself, weighing a combined 715lbs, JINGUS and the Sadist, the HIYAH International Tag Team champions - HELLLLLLL'S HIT-MEN! JINGUS, wearing burnt red tights and what looks like chainmail upon his torso, and Sadist, white tights and a large club over his shoulder, walk to the ring, smirking. BUFFER The conditions of this match - Hell's Hitmen may not be disqualified, but the Love Doctors can, for all the usual reasons. Your referee for this match - Mike Chioda! Chioda does a little dance for no apparent reason, finishing with jazz hands that elicit no reaction from anyone. He looks crushed. COLE Ladies and Gentlemen - you heard it from Buffer - what a challenge for the Docs! CABOOSE Well, if you saw the Hitmen's promo on HeldDown on Thursday, you'd understand why they deserve it. They keep chasing the Hitmen when they patently don't deserve the titles. Hopefully the Hitmen can use tonights stipulations to send them to their own hospital for a long, long time. COLE Well, I would have seen that promo except I was busy talking on my new cellphone! Look, its so cool, I can take pictures with it! Do you wanna see? Look, here's my friend Randy- here he is with my friend Julian - here they all are in a wet T shirt competition - The camera pans out to show a phone being hurled high into the crowd. In the ring, Sadist is rolling his club from one hand to the other as the Docs look at each other in consternation. *DING DING DING* Sadist charges, swinging his club. The Docs scatter and Sadist brings the club down onto the top rope instead. It rebounds and cracks him between the eyes. A look of giddy pleasure crosses his face before he falls to the mat and rolls out of the ring. JINGUS appears to sigh and grabs the nearest Doc, Steve Pigley, and throws him into the corner. The Devilman goes to work, pummeling Pigley with hard punches to the midsection, closed fist blows which are perfectly legal for the Hitmen in this match. Steve falls to one knee, gasping. Dr. Anderson is on the apron, already calling for a tag. COLE How am I gonna call my momma now? CABOOSE You can call me. You can get her that way most mornings. COLE (chuckling) Yeah, she's a whore. JINGUS whips Pigley to the ropes and sends him hiiiiiiigh into the air with a big back drop. Pigley almost bounces off the mat, and the Devilman is after him immediately, bringing him to his feet and applying a front face lock. JINGUS lifts Pigley up for a suplex, and then walks around the ring to each corner with Pigley held vertically, displaying his strength. Finally, JINGUS brings Pigley into the middle of the ring and completes the suplex with thunderous impact. The cover: ONE! TWO! Kickout... JINGUS pulls Pigley up and tags in his somewhat recovered partner. The Hitmen whip Dr. Steve to the ropes and swing a double lariat at him, but Pigley somehow ducks past them. HH whirl round, and Steve hits them with a dropsault, but the single boot to each monster has little effect, and as Pigley gets up Sadist spins him 360 onto the back of his head with a deadly lariat. Chioda tries to get JINGUS out of the ring, but the Devilman looks at him and won't be moved. Mike begins to threaten a DQ, but JINGUS reminds him of the stips via the medium of the growl. COLE This just gets worse for the Docs! The Hitmen can make this into a virtual handicap match! CABOOSE Well, the Docs should have thought of that and not showed up. Their own fault. The Hitmen stomp Dr. Steve into the mat. Max Anderson tries to run in, but Chioda stops him, to the boos of the fans. COACH He's only doing his job, but Mike Chioda is not a popular man right now. COLE I don't think anyone likes him anyway. The Hitmen scrape Pigley up. Steve throws a few ineffectual punches, before JINGUS headbutts him and then lifts him into position for a fall away slam. Sadist stands back and watches as JINGUS hurls Pigley through the air with the throw - straight towards Sadist! Sadie jumps and catches Steve with a spinning powerslam in midair! Pigley is driven hard into the canvas as Sadist covers - ONE! TWO! THREE! No! Steve just throws up a shoulder. Sadist picks him up and applies a standing headscissors, before lifting him up for a powerbomb. JINGUS grabs a hold of Pigley's neck, and the Hitmen execute a vicious powerbomb/neckbreaker combo that looks to have possibly killed Dr. Steve dead. JINGUS covers....but Chioda won't count it, pointing out that Sadist is the legal man! COLE Wow, good officiating from Mike! He may not be able to force JINGUS out of the ring, but he doesn't have to count illegal pins. CABOOSE He probably should if he doesn't want to die. He can't DQ them for attacking the ref, either. The Devilman gets in Mike's face, backed up by the Sadist. This allows Dr. Max to slip into the ring and drag Pigley to his teams corner. "Hey! Idiots!" yells Max, and as the Hitmen and Chioda turn he slaps Pigley's shoulder and tags himself in. The Hitmen rush over, but Max jumps onto the top rope and springboards over the top of them! Anderson rolls to his feet behind the Hitmen, who turn and charge Max again. This time Dr. Anderson slides through Sadist's legs and gives him a superkick to the jaw as he rises! Sadie staggers back into JINGUS's arms, who tosses him aside and grabs for Max. Anderson evades his grip and chops the Devilman - and howls in pain as his hand comes into contact with the chainmail on his chest. JINGUS laughs diabolically and grabs the injured right hand in his own massive paw, squeezing and crushing at the bones. Max grimaces, but suddenly leaps up and with his left boot connects with a standing enziguiri kick to the side of the Devilman's head! JINGUS, a little stunned, releases Anderson, who bounces off the ropes and takes JINGUS's leg out from under him with a low dropkick. Max goes after the leg with kicks and then tries for a figure four leglock, but is propelled off easily. JINGUS gets to his feet, shaking out the leg, and yells at Sadist to get up. Sadie obliges, and he has his club once more. Max kicks the Devilman's leg again, but JINGUS ignores his blow and grabs him round the throat - a chokeslam attempt follows, but Max slips out and lands behind JINGUS. A dropkick to the back of the leg sends the Devilman down, but as Anderson rises he takes a club shot from Sadist to the jaw. Max crumples to the mat. ONE! TWO! THREE! No! Dr. Steve recovers and makes a desperate, diving save. Sadist and Pigley are up. Sadie swings his club, and Pigley ducks. Sadist swings again, and Pigley ducks again, and Sadist stops the club a fraction in front of the face of the risen JINGUS. The Hitmen look at each other with relief. They both turn back to Pigley, who, still groggy, raises his hands. Sadist slaps the club in the palm of his hand, grinning sickly, as they advance on the plucky doc. COLE This doesn't look good for the Docs. They've battled against the stipulation but I think their luck might be running out... Sadist is about to attack when a figure comes running (well, walking fast) down the ramp. It's Bill Watts! With a microphone! WATTS Woh there, boys. I've had about enough of this. This may be a HIYAH title match, but its in an OAOAST ring. If they can make screwy stipulations, then so can I. And right now, I'm declaring this match no DQ for *both* teams! POP for this from the crowd! WATTS So now that everything's fair - let's get to it! Watts nods with satisfaction and goes back up the ramp. JINGUS and Sadist look furious, eyes flashing. Pigley has a grim smile on his face, well aware he's still facing two monsters on his own. The Hitmen realise this too, and continue to advance. Pigley is backed into the corner, hands on the top rope...Sadist raises his club once more...and Steve uses the rope to spring himself up with a kick to the groin of both men! The Hitmen groan and stagger back, and Pigley climbs to the top rope. COLE Bill Watts has evened things up! Can Pigley take advantage here? CABOOSE How can Watts just disregard the HIYAH officials like that? It's time the senile old fool retired. Dr. Steve leaps off with missile dropkick to Sadist that takes him down and sends his club rolling out of the ring. Pigley jumps up, and JINGUS charges at him, but Steve backs away to the ropes and pulls the top cable down, sending JINGUS tumbling out to the floor! Pigley encourages the recovering Max Anderson to his feet, and together they whip Sadist to the ropes. Drop toe hold by Max, and a spinning legdrop to the back of the head by Pigley stings Sadist. The Docs both runs the ropes either side of the monster and both deliver low dropkicks to the side of Sadie's head, so his skull is crushed between their boots! With the match wholly broken down now, Chioda doesn't try to enforce the legal man rules as Pigley covers Sadist - ONE! TWO! THREE- Sadist throws Pigley off and starts to get to his feet. CABOOSE The Doc's may have the no-DQ ruling too now, but they still have to find away to put the Hitmen down and that won't be easy. Sadist just shrugged off their flippy floppy offence. COLE It's going to need heart and teamwork, and maybe some big solid objects. The Devilman is up and climbing back into the ring, so the Docs whip Sadist across and into him, knocking JINGUS back to the floor! Sadist comes off the ropes and Anderson throws a superkick- but Sadist ducks it! COACH Wow, I think the big idiot learned something! He got superkicked to hell by the team of Zack Malibu and Some Guy recently, he also took one earlier in the match - he must have learned how to duck! COLE What's also interesting is he decided not to absorb the kick and take the pain he enjoys so much. He's putting the match first, that's how important these titles are to him! Sadist smashes the off balance Anderson with a clothesline, and then catches Pigley as he runs in with a spinebuster right onto Max! Sadist puts a boot on the pile of Doctors and roars with satisfaction. Chioda hesitantly tells him that Pigley is face down, and thus can't be a pin can't be counted. Sadist grabs Chioda and chokeslams him onto the pile of bodies! Sadie roars again and runs around the ring in circles, grinning wildly! COLE Well, he might have learned to duck but otherwise his brain is working just as well as ever. JINGUS finally climbs back into the ring and starts directing matters. He drags Pigley out from under Max and Chioda, and tells Sadist to get a chair from ringside. JINGUS holds Pigley up while Sadist prepares to swing the chair, but Pigley gets his boots up, blocking the chair shot back into Sadist's face! Steve flips out of JINGUS's grasp and, grabbing the chair from the fallen Sadist, cracks the Devilman over the head with it! Cover! ONE! TWO! JINGUS throws Pigley off and does the Zombie sit up...but Max Anderson batters him with another chairshot from behind! Another shot from Steve, and another from Max! Chioda counts a pin from Max! ONE! TWO! THREE! No! Chioda is pulled out of the ring at the last minute! The camera zooms in to reveal the Hitmen's new valet, the 6ft Jypan, was responsible! She stomps on Mike! The Docs make to go out to aid Chioda, but Sadist pops back up out of nowhere and takes them down with a double lariat. Sadie brings Pigley up and sets him for a tombstone piledriver, but Max staggers up to aid his partner. He takes a grip on Sadist from behind and starts to pull him over, reversing his position. Pigley gets his feet to the mat, and helps Anderson, until they have Sadist in position for a double team tombstone! CABOOSE What the hell? They can't do that! COLE Anything can happen in the OAOAST federation! Pigley and Anderson spike Sadist into the mat with the assisted tombstone! Cover - but no ref, of course. Jypan is now tending to JINGUS on the apron, and she hands him a pair of huge brass knuckles. JINGUS steps into the ring and punches Pigley in the head with them as he is covering Sadist. Max, hanging on the ropes, grabs one of the discarded chairs and swings at the Devilman, who punches it away with the assistance of the knucks. Anderson swings again, and again JINGUS knocks the chair away, this time following up with a vicious uppercut that floors Max. JINGUS covers...and Jypan starts to push Chioda back into the ring. COLE Oh no, c'mon, this isn't right! CABOOSE It's no DQ Cole! It's all legal! A groggy Chioda looks around him, and then starts to count, ever so slowly. ONE! TWO! THREE! No! Chioda is pulled out of the other side of the ring by Dr. Ima Hoe, appearing out of the crowd! Jypan and JINGUS curse in Hellish language. COLE Ima Hoe! Ima Hoe! CABOOSE Heh. COACH "Dr. Feelgood" was abused by the Hitmen on HeldDown last week, but she just got some measure of revenge! Jypan runs around the ring to attack Ima, but Dr.Feelgood is ready and nails her with a spinkick to the jaw! JINGUS leans down and grabs Ima by the hair, pulling her up to the apron, but Ima pokes the Devilman in the eye through his mask! JINGUS staggers in the middle of the ring, blinded, as the Sadist gets up. Groggily, Sadie bumps into JINGUS, who unwittingly lashes his own partner with a thunderous Devil lariat! Cheered on by Dr. Hoe, the Docs drag themselves up. They see JINGUS and quickly trip him down with a double team drop toe hold. The Devilman rolls onto his back as the Docs each ascend to the top rope above him! 450 splash from Max Anderson! 640 back senton splash from Steve Pigley! Pigley and Anderson both pile onto JINGUS! ONE! TWO! THREE! *DING DING DING* CABOOSE C'mon! That wasn't right! COLE (really bad English accent) It's all legal, Caboose! Mate! CABOOSE If you ever want to lick anything again, you'll keep your tongue quiet now. BUFFER The winners of the match and NUUUUUUUUUUUUU HIYAH Tag Team Champions - the LURRRRRRRRRVE DOC-TORS! Pigley and Anderson embrace each other and Dr. Feelgood in the middle of the ring to a happy pop from the crowd. Mike Chioda hands them their title belts which they proudly display. COACH It's been a hell of a ride for the Docs over the past few months, but thanks to their determination, skill and Dr.Feelgood, they have back the titles they so badly wanted! Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you - the Love Doctors! The camera focuses on the Docs grinning faces, proudly holding onto their gold, finally triumphing over the two monsters -- at least for tonight.

COLE Thanks, Tony! COACH You know, all Schiavone would need to do is grow a goatee.....or you could shave your goatee....and you two would look exactly the same. COLE ....what? That's not true at all. COACH Well, I don't know. All white people look the same to me. CABOOSE You know, I actually agreed with most of Jesse's picks. Except for the Black T ones, but I could certainly see where he's coming from. I should meet him after the show for drinks or something.... COLE Two minutes into the show and we're already off-topic. Wonderful. Anyway, we're going to kick off this show with a HUGE matchup! A match that was made just three days ago on HeldDown! Between three guys who, quite simply, want to beat the crap out of each other. CABOOSE Oh, I just can’t decide which guy I want Brock to maim more. I’m really excited for this match, just feel these nipples!! COACH I’ll bet my nipples are more rigid in anticipation of this match than yours are Caboose. (He starts to lift his shirt) Just take a look….. COLE JONATHAN!!!! Go to Buffer, NOW, NOW, NOW!!!!!! *DING DING* BUFFER Wow, those are pretty hard......ahem…..Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is a triple threat match, where the first man to score either a pinfall or submission will be declared the winner. CUE: Oh Hell Yeah “YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” The crowd pops big as Peter Knight walks through the curtain into the Staples Center, which now filled with strobing blue light. He pauses at the top of the ramp to take in the crowd’s ovation before making his way to the ring. BUFFER Introducing first, from Fall River, Massachusetts, weighing in at 260 pounds, Peterrrrrrrrrrrrrr Kniiiiiiiiiight! COLE This is Peter Knight’s first PPV appearance as an active wrestler since Anglemania III last year, where he lost to Sly Sommers. He definitely would like to pick up the win in his PPV return match, but he’s facing a pretty big challenge. COACH I feel ya. CABOOSE Don’t make me call Dr. Fist for a house visit again. CUE: Punishment by Biohazard “YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” Brock Ausstin and Rick Heyross walk out into the arena to an ovation on par with (or even a bit louder) than Knights. Brock flexes his neck and does the Happy Happy Hoss Dance~! as Rick displays him like a Barker’s Beauty displaying a new car before they both walk down the aisle. BUFFER Next, being accompanied to the ring by Rick Heyross, he is from Victoria, Minnesota, weighing in at 320 pounds. He is the Current Big Thing, Brrrrrrroooooooock Ausssssssssstiiiiiiin!!!! CABOOSE There’s my boy!!! Now that Drek is gone, I’ve gots to find a new binky and Brock is it. The fans even agree and bathe in his greatness every night. They also brush their teeth in his amplitude. They exfoliate in his magnitude, they shave in….. COLE All right, all right. God, I think whoever is writing this match needs some professional help. CUE: An Ode to Killings “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” The ovation is loud, but in the negative direction as Killings steps through the curtain, his dark sunglasses hiding a look of slight apprehension. He sizes up his competition from afar, who are both staring right back at him, before making the long(ish) walk to the ring. BUFFER And now, their opponent. Originally from Boise, Idaho, he now resides right here in Los Angeles, California!! Weighing in at 298 pounds, he is STILL the Beast of Boise, and Hollywood’s next action legend, Priiiiiiiiiiiiiiince Kiiiiiiiiiillllliiiiiiiiings!!!!! COLE No photographers this time, I see. I’ll be willing to bet that Prince was banned from bringing them so he won’t pull anything like he did at Anglemania. COACH What? That camera inadvertently flew out of that photographers hands and Killings decided to take the picture that he was setting up for. CABOOSE Oh, and now you’re stealing my schtick? Sleep with one eye open and your testicles well protected tonight, Coach. Killings approaches the ring, but is reluctant to step in the ring as Brock and Knight stare at him like two lions at feeding time. Killings removes his sunglasses, trying to put up a façade of toughness as his music fades out and the two men in the ring motion for him to step in. The fans around ringside yell at him to do the same. CABOOSE The second he steps into that ring, he’s going to be hurting. Killings stalls, walking around ringside and eyeing up his competition. Brock and PK, getting a little impatient, walk to the ropes and reach over, but Prince avoids their swipes. The crowd starts up a “KILLINGS SUCKS!!” chant, getting restless at the lack of action so far. COLE Oh come on, just get in there and let’s get this going! Killings takes a deep breath and grabs the bottom rope, pulling himself onto the apron. He reluctantly steps one foot through the ropes and ducks under the top rope, only to have Brock right on him, peppering him with forearms and dragging him into the ring to officially start the match. *DING DING* COLE Here we go! Brock shoves Prince into the corner and fires off hard right hands to the face before ramming his shoulder into his gut. Knight tries to get himself a piece and lands a few kicks to the midsection, but Brock shoves him away and continues the punishment. PK tries again to get involved, but Brock shoves him away again, pointing his thumb at himself and telling PK “My business” before turning his attention back to Prince. Unfazed, PK goes back to the corner and pulls Brock aside so that he can get at Killings with some more kicks to the gut. COLE Killings is taking an enormous beating a few minutes into this one. Angered even more by Knight’s action, he grabs the back of his singlet and yanks PK away, sending him spinning to the middle of the ring. Brock lays in more right hands to Prince, but PK comes up from behind and grabs him by the hair, pulling Brock away from the corner, which allows Killings to slip under the bottom rope. Livid, Brock goes nose to nose with Knight again. Knight shoves Brock back and puts up the dukes, asking for Brock to bring it. COACH Both these guys don’t like Prince, but they’d love to tear each other apart as well. They lock up and jockey for position. Knight grabs a side headlock, but Brock shoots him off the ropes. He tries a clothesline, but Knight ducks and runs towards Prince, sticking his arm out and clotheslining him over the top rope and to the floor. Knight turns and charges back towards Brock, but Brock is ready for him and takes him down with a powerslam. He goes for the cover. 1…. But it’s much too early and PK easily kicks out. Brock drags him up by the hair, driving his forearm into Knight’s back, but PK quickly goes behind Brock and takes his leg out, spinning around and grabbing a front face lock, pulling back to put pressure on Brock’s neck. Brock uses his power advantage to get back to his knees, and then his feet, wrapping his arms around Knight and taking him over with a belly to back suplex. COLE With his strength, Brock holds a bit of an advantage over the slimmed down Knight, who will have to wear him down to have a chance to get him pinned. Brock drags PK up again and wraps him up for another suplex, but PK backpedals and falls down, the momentum sending Brock through the middle rope and to the floor. COACH Good counter there by Knight, getting Brock off of him for a few moments. Brock gets to his feet, and is completely blindsided by a charging Prince Killings, who wraps him in a tackle and backs him up until….. *BAM* Brock strikes the ring steps, dislodging them; his lower back taking most of the impact. Brock grimaces in pain, grabbing the area with his hand and hunching over on his knees. Prince pulls him back to his feet and charges into him shoulder first, ramming him into the steel ring post, further damaging the back. Brock yells in pain. COLE Now there’s a way to slow that man down. Even someone like Brock Ausstin can fall prey to the cold, cold, unforgiving steel of the 3 ton ring steps and solid steel ring post. Killings rolls Brock back into the ring and goes to roll back in, but PK grabs him as he does so and tosses him right back out to the floor. Knight stomps the back and drops an elbow on it before slipping on a chinlock and burying his knee into Brock’s back. Brock grunts in pain as he is bent further back, increasing the pressure on his back. COLE As we saw in his match with Jumbo a few weeks ago, PK seems to have changed styles to more of a mat-based submission style. And he’s taking advantage of what Killings did to Brock’s back. CABOOSE How the hell wasn’t Prince disqualified for using the steps? You’d have to be a deaf jackass to totally miss that sound. Oh, wait; I just answered my own question there. Prince slides back into the ring and knocks PK away with an axehandle, dragging him to his feet and tossing him through the middle rope and to the floor. Prince turns his attention to Brock, stomping the lower back and dropping an elbow on it. He bounces off the rope and leaps, further damaging the back with a kneedrop. Prince gestures to the crowd and yells “He’s done”, drawing boos. He motions in for the kill, standing over Brock, pulling him into a sitting position….. COLE Well, it may look like Prince has actually improved his…. ….and slapping on a rear chinlock. COLE *Sigh* “BOOOOOOOOOOO!” A wide smile crosses Prince’s face as he puts more pressure on the hold, repeatedly telling the fans to shut up. The hold doesn’t prove to be all that effective as Brock, with Prince hanging on for the ride on his back, gets back to his feet and backs Prince into the corner to break the hold. He takes a few steps back and gets a head of steam before charging into the corner with a clothesline. He holds Prince in the corner and drives some knees to his gut. PK, sliding back into the ring, sees an opening and charges, driving his shoulder into Brock’s back and squishing him against Prince. He drives his shoulder into it a few more times, holding it there and bending Brock back a bit, with Killings being pinned between him and the corner. Knight releases and pulls Brock away, leaving Prince to fall to his knees and gasp for air. PK whips Brock against the ropes and charges, but Brock ducks the clothesline and bounces off the opposite strands, with PK bouncing off the opposite ropes as well. Brock gets a head of steam and nails PK with a SPEAR!!!! CABOOSE YEAH! Brock goes for the cover… 1…… 2…… Prince breaks up the cover. Of course, that does nothing but anger Brock. Prince notices this and tries to flee, but Brock grabs his arm and yanks him back towards him, hoisting Prince on his shoulders in a fireman’s carry. CABOOSE Here it comes, Cole!!!! Brock smiles at PK before turning Prince off his shoulders and…… *WHUMP* “YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” Nailing Prince with a KNIGHTMARE!!!! CABOOSE Whoa!! COLE Brock Ausstin with the Knightmare on Prince Killings!!!! Here’s the cover: 1….. 2….. THR….NO, Knight breaks up the pin!! PK kicks Brock away, dragging Prince roughly to his feet and putting him up in a fireman’s carry. COLE Don’t tell me….. PK stares at Brock before spinning Prince around……. *WHUMP* And dropping him to the mat in an F-Stunner-5! “YEAHHHHHHH!!!” COLE And now PK uses Brock’s finisher on Killings! These guys are completely punishing the actor turned wrestler. He goes for the cover. 1……. 2……. THR…….NO, Brock breaks up the pin! Brock stomps Killings, and PK grabs him, whipping Brock hard into the corner before picking up Killings and dumping him over the top rope. In doing this, he doesn’t notice Brock sinking in the corner, waiting for him to turn around. The crowd does, however, and rises to their feet in anticipation COLE If Brock connects here, Knight is done!!! Brock charges, but PK trips him up and quickly grapevines his legs, looking to be going for a sharpshooter, but instead he turns around and bends over, grabbing Brock’s arms and pulling him up, causing his body to be bent in a U position, right at his lower back. COLE Wow, what kind of hold is that? COACH I remember Bull Nakano using it against Alundra Blaze once, and it looks like it hurts like hell. A look of severe pain crosses Brock’s face, as he grits his teeth and grimaces. Some of the crowd starts to clap, trying to will Brock to get out of the hold. The problem is, he is right in the middle of the ring and PK has his arms pulled back, so he can’t reach for the ropes and has the leverage. COLE I’ll tell you, I don’t know how Brock will be able to escape this hold. His back has been worn down pretty well, and that is where this move is focused on. Rick slaps the apron and yells encouragement at his man and Brock tries to power his way out of the move, but PK keeps him down by pulling back on the arms even further, putting more pressure on the back and causing Brock to scream in pain. He tries to lean to one side, hoping to break the hold that way, but Knight uses the leverage advantage to keep that from happening, pulling back on the arms more as punishment. Brock still holds on, but his face shows the immense pain he is feeling right now, yelling “NO!” every time the referee asks him if he wants to submit. CABOOSE It’s a battle of wills right now. Come on Brock, fight it!!! Knight seems to be getting a bit frustrated at Brock’s refusal to quit and yells at him “Come on, Brock! There’s no escape!” before slipping his hands under Brock’s arms and locking them on the back of Brock’s neck in a full-nelson position, giving himself even more leverage and causing Brock even more pain. “OHHHHHHH!” The crowd gasps in awe at how far Brock’s back is being torqued by the modified hold and begin to chant: “BROCK! BROCK! BROCK! BROCK!” COLE Wow, I have no idea how Brock is still holding on under this much agony. CABOOSE Guts, Michael Cole, pure guts. Not many guys could take the punishment that he has in this match. Brock seems to be fading a bit and the ref is right on top of things, continually asking if Brock wants to give up, since he is in a position where he won’t be able to signal a submission by tapping out. Brock takes a couple of deep breaths and tries to move himself forward, and is successful, moving himself a few inches towards the ropes. He breathes again and is able to move a bit closer as Brock’s fans cheer him on. CABOOSE COME ON!!! ALMOST THERE!!! Brock, now only mere feet from the ropes, gets ready for one last push, but this time PK pulls back on him and backs him back to the middle of the ring! COACH That’s it. That is it! Brock is a matter of seconds from submitting here! CABOOSE Oh, when are YOU ever right? Brock struggles to hold on….. Struggles……. REFEREE Brock, do you want to quit? BROCK ……………………………………………………………………………. YES! “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” *DING DING* BUFFER Here is your winner, by submission, Peterrrrrrrrrrr Kniiiiiiiiiight!!!!!!! COLE Unbelievable!! Peter Knight has made Brock Ausstin submit; I don’t think ANYONE has ever done that before!! CABOOSE Wow…..just……..damn. COACH Guess I was right this time, eh Caboose? CABOOSE Sure, keep pulling the pissed off tiger’s tail. Knight’s fans cheer, but most of the crowd stands in shock at what they’ve just witnessed. PK gets his hand raised by the referee and rolls out of the ring, not taking any time to relish in what he had accomplished but instead walking up the aisle to the back. Rick is now in the ring, checking on his man, who has his head down, almost in shame. COLE Hey, you’ve got to give it to Brock there; he held on through such excruciating pain, more than anyone else in this fed would probably be able to sustain. With the help of the referee and Rick, Brock gets back to his feet. The fans applaud Brock’s heart as he favors his lower back and kicks the bottom rope in frustration. COLE Well, I’ve got to tell you guys; I did not expect this result at all. A minor upset here tonight at Living Angelously as Peter Knight actually makes the big man Brock Ausstin submit. COACH Hey, Cole, I'm hearing Hoff has something to say backstage. CABOOSE Oh, goodie. The cameras cut to the backstage area, where Josh Matthews is walking down a hallway. We hear Triple C on voiceover: COLE Fans, thank you so much for joining us tonight. COACH HOLLA~! COLE We've still got plenty more action ahead, our WORLD TITLE match, plus the match to determine the #1 contender to that title! And our own Josh Matthews is on his way to get a word with one of the participants right now! Josh stops and turns to face a door with a large "H" on it. The fans cheer the door, and Josh knocks. His knocks are answered by none other than HOFF. "YEEEEEEEAH!!" Hoff, dressed for battle minus the gloves, steps out of the doorway, closing it behind him. JOSH Hoff, I was wondering if you could tell us how your knee is after Crystal and Gunner's sneak attack last Thursday on HeldDOWN? HOFF My knee....my knee is fine, why should it be any different? Josh eyes Hoff suspiciously. JOSH Well, Hoff, it's just that, well, that WAS the knee that Chris Stevens attacked in November. The knee you had to have surgically repaired! Hoff looks at J. Math blankly. HOFF Yeah, so? JOSH Well.....I mean, I guess I'm wonderng if after all the abuse, you're still at 100% tonight? Hoff smiles, rolling his eyes. HOFF Okay, Matthews, you got me. Listen. Truth is, my knee's been better. I mean, it's good...but it's seen better days. See, my old friend Chris Stevens painted a bullseye on the damn thing, and everyone knows it. Last week, Crystal and Gunner fired a bullet. And let me tell you something: it was a direct hit. JOSH So....will you be able to compete tonight? HOFF Whoa whoa whoa, Josh. Are you implying that one bum knee could keep me out of the ring? Hoff looks down at Josh, flabbergasted and offended. JOSH Well I-- HOFF No, let me get it STRAIGHT, Matthews! You think one little knee injury is gonna keep me down?! "HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF" JOSH Well, no, I mean...it's just-- HOFF Let me tell you something, Josh Matthews. You could cut off BOTH my damn knees, and I'd STILL go out there and whoop Crystal's skanky ass! "YEEEEEEEEEAH!!" HOFF Oh, YEAH! You damn right, Josh! Here, why don't you cut off a pinky. Or a thumb, here, take the whole damn hand! Buddy, if I had nothing left but my head and myass, I'd go out there and headbutt the *BLEEP*, and then sit right down on top of her for the 1-2-3!! Hoff takes a deep breath, allowing the fans to catch theirs as well. Hoff looks down hard at Josh, his expression earnest. HOFF Josh, tonight, I fight both for an opportunity...and for a friend, and there is nothing...nothing...that's gonna stop me now. Hoff looks at Josh, who nods, before turning back and walking into his locker room. Hoff shuts the door, and Josh is left all alone. JOSH Cole, Coach, 'Booze...back to you!

Coffey hasn't been the same since the humor in the WWE Folder died. It was a worthy adversary for him. Now he has nothing to strive for.

Tony Kornheiser came to the school once this year, but I didn't know about his appearance until after the fact. The next time he's here, I'm going to make it a point to see him.

Very nice. See, that's what I like about you. You're always so interested in others.

Perhaps you should read earlier in this thread. Maybe this is why you've been stripped of the "Doctor" title in your username.

I've gotten the match four times. Don't worry about it.

Piazza is so finished. Seven runners stranded by him today through the first four innings. At this point, he's holding back the team much more than helping it. An 8-0 lead on Washington though is very nice.

Have Orton ban Coffey from TSM!

This will be quite the loss, let me tell you.

Tony, just so you know, I'm probably going to steal Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura from you for the intro segment. Consider it an homage, rather than blatant theft. You'll feel better about it that way.

Is it just me or is Katie actually gaining weight as the days go on? It's actually very strange.

Don't you dare steal my thunder! We can't have two major heels retire within the span of a month. I mean, just LOOK at all the attention my retirement has grabbed so far. It's the talk of the board, it is!

Okay, let me get the final card straight. OAOAST Heavyweight Championship Axel© vs. Tony Brannigan #1 Contender's Match Hoff vs. Crystal RECEIVED~! Zack Malibu vs. Dan Black RECEIVED~! X 4 Some Guy vs. CWM RECEIVED~! OAOAST X-Division Championship Last Man DANCING~! Leon Rodez© vs. The 70s Dude RECEIVED~! OAOAST Tag Team Championship If CoD happen to lose, they don't get a title shot throughout the entire NNMX title reign Chicks Over Dicks© vs. The New New Midnight Express OAOAST 24/7 Championship Tha Puerto Rican© vs. John Brickston RECEIVED~! HI-YAH Tag Team Championship No-DQ for the challengers. DQs possible for the champions. The Love Doctors© vs. Hell's Hitmen RECEIVED~! Peter Knight vs. Prince Killings vs. Brock Ausstin ------------------------------------------------------------- If there's any here I forgot......um, sorry. And if you tell me, that might be really helpful too.

....well, this is assuming I don't blow up the board trying to post the PPV on Sunday.

Here's how I look at it. I've never been a fan of Popick posting the Pay-Per-Views. It's nothing personal against him, but I simply get the feeling he doesn't put much effort into them. Some Guy, you've been gone for a while, so I'm figuring you haven't had a chance to read through some of the PPVs he posted. Some of the problems I've encountered: 1) There are practically no transitions between segments when Popick posts the shows. This gives the PPVs a rather unprofessional, jerky feel to them. Take the past two shows he posted for example: Zero Hour and Climax. There were no beginnings to them. At Zero Hour, he simply posted the graphic Papacita made, then flashed right to a Phenom segment. There was no introduction to the show. No buildup. No rundown of the card. Nothing. Climax was the same thing. We went from some Christmas poem at the beginning right to Cappa's segment. No buildup. No transition. This trend continues through most of the PPVs that Popick posts. In my opinion, it just makes the shows look poor. Why not take that extra effort to add the hype at the beginning of the show? The quick announcer interaction in between matches and promos? Hoff and Patty do it for HeldDowns. Tony does it for his PPVs. Popick never seems to do it. It's just simple cut-and-paste jobs without any rhyme, reason, or flow to them. What's the point? 2) Besides those problems that have encountered most PPVs Popick has posted, some of them have turned out to be a complete disaster. Look at License to Pin for an example of that. The EoD tournament was botched quite badly, to the point where it hasn't even be fixed today. Look at the show now to see the situation was never fixed. And of course, I had an issue with how my Hell-in-a-Cell match with Cappa was treated as well, with Popick suddenly turning Cappa heel without my knowledge the segment directly BEFORE my match. The entire show was a mess. Even something as recent as completely forgetting to leave a spot for the Dude/Calvin match at Zero Hour -- which was a match that received a lot of buildup throughout the month for anyone that reads through the shows. Chuck had to edit the show to include the match himself. People make mistakes, sure. I'm not perfect either. But this kind of stuff seems to happen on a consistent basis. 3) I get the feeling that Popick is not even in-tune with matters in the OAOAST anymore. He doesn't seem to know any of the storylines. He hardly ever leaves feedback. He doesn't seem to interact with anybody in the federation anymore. He's just here to glue together random matches for a PPV, then sink back into the background for two more months. I don't see why we don't try to get someone who's actually involved with the federation and knows what's going on to post the shows. Popick doesn't even give off the impression that he knows anymore. This then shows in his work. Hell, supposedly, he didn't even know he was holding the Italian Title for seven months -- despite the fact that he wrote the match where he won it! We need someone more involved. 4) The least he could have done was address the issues in the Italian/24-7 Title thread in an honest manner. Instead, he made a post where he outright lied, saying that he didn't know a thing about holding the Italian title, which has been disproven already. He hasn't posted there since to address the manner. We had a discussion there about him being replaced in posting the PPVs, and he simply ignored it, coming into this thread instead to tell everyone when to send in his segments. He has these matters being brought up to him, and he just shrugs him aside. That bothers me personally. For these reasons, I would like to take over the PPV posting duties from Popick for the time being. I don't really see why we have to wait anymore to do it. Whatever Tony would like for his match, I would be perfectly willing to do. But I mean, we've had Popick posting these shows for months already, and I think a change would be welcome. Waiting any longer just seems pointless to me at this point. However, we should make a decision pretty soon so everyone knows who to send their stuff to. I mean, I think most people don't have a problem sending their stuff to me. Tony seems to have an issue with it, and I certainly understand that, but I hope it's not too much of a problem. If it is Tony, feel free to PM me, man. Well, there we go. This is why I feel the matter should be addressed now, rather than waiting another few months to take action. I think the waiting should be finished at this point.

.....where is the Drek Stone shirt?! It's guaranteed cash!

Hmm. I don't really see why we have to wait. I'll take good care of you, Tony. You my boy. That Main Event slot is automatically yours. You just have to tell me anything special you want. And KC, writing the introduction to the show is perfectly fine with me. I mean, as far as I'm concerned, I'll post the show this month. If there are any true objections, let me know. But considering I have the backing of most here, I don't see why not.

Well, let's see. I said I should post the shows. I have Hoff, Adam, Mascot, Chuck, and CWM on my side. Popick seems to be trying to completely avoid the issue altogether. I mean, I said in the other thread that others should comment on the matter -- specifically the mods. Unfortunately, no one else commented on the situation. Patty, your opinion would be appreciated. As would Tony, Eski, CC, and Zack. And, of course, Popick. And anyone else that wishes to throw in their opinion here too. I'm sure Popick and I could both take criticism concerning the matter, so feel free to say what you want.

Hey Popick, while you're here.... Funeral Service for the Italian and 24/7 Titles There is a thread that requires your immediate attention.

Dama, are you especially tough on the kids that take a book off the shelf, but then don't put it back exactly where they found it? Violation of the Dewey Decimal System endangers libraries all over the country.

I thank God everyday for security guards like Dama. I can't tell you how many times I get intimidated by those kids in the library that don't have a lid on their drinks. They think they are just TOO cool for the rules. Bout time somebody put those punks in their place.

Man, the way you describe it, you would think these security guards have actual power....