NYU

At least we got the booking thread to 2 pages. There's an achievement in there, somewhere.

Uh oh. Are you saying, we should, in fact: Blame Hoff ?

Show's late? Shit, I didn't realize Hoff was posting again this week....

I'm interested in hearing a little more about justcoz's source....

I don't see how it could have any racial undertones, seeing as how there was never any threat in the movie of a Chinese person entering the family. The reason the line was repeated throughout "Meet the Fockers" was simply because a similar line was repeated in "Meet the Parents." In the first film, Robert DeNiro kept lecturing Ben Stiller on the "circle of trust", telling him that he could either join it or stay out of it, because there was just no way the circle would be broken. Well, in this film, DeNiro is referencing the circle again, when he says he doesn't want a "chink in the chain." The circle - or chain, as it's referred to here - only got stronger with the addition of Stiller. He doesn't want to see it weaken with the addition of his parents. "Chink in the chain" = Weak link It's ridiculous to think the film is referencing Chinese people here when, get this, there aren't any Chinese people in the movie to reference! "Chink" as an english vocabulary term has been used for a longer amount of time than "chink" as a derogatory term for Chinese. Once again, people manage to get upset over absolutely nothing.

Well, see, there's a difference between a team OFFERING someone a contract, and that person actually SIGNING such a contract. The New York media outlets are reporting the Mets are ready to offer Carlos Beltran a 7-year, $112 million contract. However, they aren't even close to signing him. Houston has until Friday to get him to sign a new contract - which I do think is going to happen. If they don't, there is a good chance the Mets could land them.....but, of course, no one could ever truly count out the Yankees.

If I remember correctly, Triple H kicked out of the Last Ride at King of the Ring 2002. In WWE, has anyone ever kicked out of Batista's Sit-Down Powerbomb or Kidman's Shooting Star Press?

I'll wait until I see it. I can't help but feel Beltran is going to wind up signing with Houston again. Plus the Mets always have a tendency to fall apart when it comes to signing the HUGE free agents....

Van Dam's Frog Splash IS protected pretty well, but it always looks silly when he hits the move -- takes 10 seconds to hobble around the ring in pain -- and allows himself to get rolled up by another opponent for the easy 3 count. RVD might be the only guy unable to kick out of a pin after hitting his OWN finishing move. Has anybody in WWE kicked out of Orton's RKO yet? Nobody seems to be coming to mind...

Speaking of which, has the Van Dam DVD been officially released yet? I know it was originally scheduled for 1/4/05, but I'm not sure if the date has been pushed back since then. If not, RVD may now have the distinction of having the least hyped WWE DVD ever. Which is certainly nice....

Six posts without mentioning Mike? The CE followers are already starting to get flaccid.....

Oh, man. I remember I lobbied hard for Frigid to get the first draft pick in that Gang Wars thread. I mean, some serious passion was shown there. And he threw me on the side for DERANGED HERMIT. And Fook. And Steviekick. Zack was there to pick me up. Frigid turned his back on me. ...... But now that he changed his name to FailedMascot, all is forgiven!

If I remember correctly, it had something to do with Mike saying the left-wing blogs had been proven to be funded by the Democratic National Party. People, including myself, Dangerously, and Tyler, began calling him out on it, demanding to see the proof. Mike ignored every comment asking for the proof on such a statement and, a few days later, quit the board. It may have also had something to do with Cerebus trying to tell Mike that poll results can be skewed based on removing ENTIRE PIECES OF DATA, with Mike maturely choosing to ignore such a point and stick his fingers in his ears. Rather than admit he was simply making untrue statements, he chose to leave. Oh well. And if I could be honest here, the fallout after Mike's post in that thread was just embarrassing. The worst post was probably from Slapnuts: But make no mistake, each post gushing over Mike was absolutely terrible.

Great match. You could have just included it for this week's HeldDown, though

The thread that started the huge backlash against KJ Brackish: A Movie I Made For You Smarks! It loses its effectiveness now since some of the images don't work, but that was a REALLY entertaining thread.

"Bret Hart Responds To Ric Flair's Comments" was just an incredibly boring thread. The same arguments regurgitated over and over for 20 pages. "Ric Flair is the greatest entertainer ever, so he can criticize Bret" or "Bret was an amazing technical wrestler, and Flair relied on the same matches every night" were just continually repeated, with every post following it simply a variation of one of those two statements. The thread just had no purpose -- it seems to be in the Classics Folder for no other reason than "It stayed on topic for so long".....If we're going by that criteria, "The Bible Is Literally True" should have been put in Classics months ago. Speaking of which, I really enjoyed "The Bible is Literally True". It came to the point where that thread actually helped me write certain parts of a philosophy paper, so that's always good. Despite the fact that it probably could have lasted a little longer, The Gang Wars of 2004 were great - specifically the poll thread trying to decide who gets #1 Pick and the central thread where all the flaming was contained. And the UseTheSledgehammerUh topics "Make Fun of My Friends" and "Pictures of a Schoolgirl-Themed Party" were a lot of fun. He lost his use after that, however. I'm sure there's more, but......meh.

I couldn't possibly care any less about this Randy Johnson stuff anymore. Let's move onto the shameless financial whoring for Carlos Beltran now, shall we?

That makes absolutely no sense. The fact that he feels he needs to brag during the show in Iraq shows he, at least, did it partially for his own ego. If he would have just put the show out there without giving a self-serving speech to the troops about the American media, and then later feeding lines about troop morale to Cole and Tazz, there wouldn't be nearly as much discussion about his true intentions.

Really interesting segment to start off the show with the New New Midnight Express and The Saints. The fact that Cornette's betrayal of the NNMX immediately opened up Climax actually gave it a real sense of importance. Cornette talking about NNMX as if they've already lost, while praising The Saints in the same breath, was a great way to show where his true loyalties lie, and gave the entire Cornette stable a real sense of dissention. Well-written stuff to begin the night. Cute opening Christmas poem. But where was the mention of Drek Stone?! HOFF WASN'T EVEN WRESTLING ON THA CARD!!! Hellloooooooo. Heavyweight Champion over here!!!!! Great stuff with The Mad Cappa. I've REALLY been digging Cappa's heel turn since it started. With this segment, I especially liked Cappa bringing up all the people who joined the OAOAST after him, yet have still gotten a title shot before him. The most effective heel characters always believe in the angry stuff they scream in the ring, and Cappa truly believes he's justified in acting the way he has. The antagonistic nature he's had with Watts in recent weeks has led to some great verbal sparring between the two. I'm glad to see Cappa writing for the OAOAST again -- and his new heelish personality has led such a fresh dimension to his character. Nice promo from Panther. The line about the "popular Hughey Vutton purse from Zimbabwe" was cute. Either way, I loved the intensity Panther showed here. The championship belt still means a lot to him, but even that can't stand in the way of finally getting his revenge on Chris Bryte. His refusal to stand down to an irate Brock Ausstin was great to see as well. Might I add that I do like the idea of the Panther/Brock feud continuing? Those two always seem to have some very good chemistry in the ring. Brock Ausstin vs. Chris Bryte - Very good match to kick off the action at Climax. I liked Uncle Kev not coming out with either guy at the beginning of the match. It seemed naturally assumed that he would stay loyal to Bryte, but his absence added a mysterious feel to the contest. The story of this match was simple, yet still effective. Brock as the big muscleman overpowering Bryte, but Chris trying to use his intelligence and technical skills to take out Ausstin. The end of the match was actually rather interesting as well. The idea that Taylor's guys seemed to know to interfere on behalf of Bryte - but Taylor seemingly didn't even know what was going on - adds an enthralling aspect to the Bryte/Taylor/Brock storyline in the next few weeks. Enjoyable segment between GPX and Alix. I liked the self-doubt Alix started to show when it came to her match with Zack later in the show and, as always, I enjoyed the crazy interaction between Scotty and Johnny. We have Alix expressing serious worries about her own abilities -- and GPX subtly trying to come onto her with lame pickup lines. Fun promo to set up the match later on in the night. Zack Malibu vs. Alix - Excellent match between these two. The entire contest was just FUN to read through, with the action seemingly breezing by. I loved the portrayal of Alix as the scrappy fighter, and I couldn't help but start rooting for her near the end as she did her best to take on both Zack and Candie. I also liked the cameo by Josh during the match, showing a real continuity of what has happened in recent weeks. The ending actually confused me at first, but in hindsight, it does make sense in further establishing Zack's ego. The wins and losses don't matter to him - as long as he shows he CAN be dominant against a particular person, he doesn't care how the match ends. Again, really great stuff here. The New New Midnight Express vs. Hell's Hitmen - Good stuff. To me, this match seemed to be much more about angle progression than the action itself, which worked successfully in this case. The continued dissention between the NNMX and Hell's Hitmen worked nicely, as was Cornette ditching the NNMX for a second time in the night. The brawl itself was great. Good idea to make Abby the Special Guest Referee - all things considering, there's probably no other man that would know more about bleeding in a wrestling ring - and I really enjoyed the match's hard-hitting nature. The end with the fork was particularly sick and a good conclusion to the First Blood stipulation. The contest really did help establish Hell's Hitmen as a team of SERIOUS badasses and, like Eskimo said, they should be getting a Tag Title shot soon. Black T vs. The Love Doctors - Fine, fine contest. There seemed to be an above-average amount of nearfalls in this one, which gave it a real sense of urgency concerning the HIYAH Tag Titles. Despite all the boasting Black T had done in recent weeks, they still knew they should try to finish The Doctors as quickly as possible, or they would lose the belts. The action in this one came fast and furious, and I just really dug the complete back-and-forth feeling of the match. If I'm being completely honest, I have to admit I did feel a little underwhelmed with the revealing of "Strong Medicine" at the end. For weeks, the Doctors have broken out visually impressive moves (I mean, a Shooting Star Elbowdrop is just CRAZY!), but the finishing move they've pretty much been hyping for weeks turns out to just be a Hart Attack. It wasn't necessarily bad, but it still felt a little odd. And even though I had a feeling the Docs were going over, it was handled very nicely. And, of course, getting a win over Black T - the most dominant tag team in OAOAST history - will really do a lot to help establish The Love Doctors as deserving champions. I'm actually very interested to see where this storyline goes. Axel vs. Ragdoll - Ahhh, here we go. First off, MAJOR props to Ragdoll. I've only started talking to him in recent weeks, but Ken genuinely seems like a very cool guy. And like I've told him several times already, it's really a shame to see him go. I've enjoyed the incredibly intense stuff Ragdoll has brought out lately, and it's easy to see Ken puts an incredible amount of effort into every OAOAST segment he writes. Again man, it really sucks to see you go. But just don't be a stranger. Make sure to visit once in a while. Now, to comment on the match itself: Amazing. If it hadn't taken place so late in December, it would be a Match of the Year Candidate for sure. Like I told Adam, I LOVED all the prematch stuff going on at the beginning. The hype-up video was intense, Axel and Ragdoll separately walking through the hall was powerful, and just the descriptions of the entrances itself - "Down With the Sickness" in particular - made the match truly feel EPIC. The action here was SICK and INSANE -- exactly what it should have been. Ragdoll and Axel carving their initials into each other's chests with broken glass shards, Ragdoll flying off the top rope onto a pile of glass shards and thumbtacks, Axel walking barefoot through the glass, Axel Slam through a GLASS TABLE piled with thumbtacks -- all of it was incredible. Ragdoll's passionate screams for Axel to give up just made the match all that more personal as well. The match did suffer from a few minor problems - you might have stuffed a little TOO much gruesome action into it, having it somewhat border on the line of being unrealistic...Axel and Ragdoll should have been clinically dead after some of their spots - but the good here FAR, FAR, outweighed the bad. I personally think this match MADE Axel into a superstar. He looked like an amazingly tough badass here for surviving everything Ragdoll threw at him. This match was also the perfect way for Ragdoll to go out. In a blaze of glass, tacks, and blood, Ragdoll established his legacy here. And furthermore, this contest showed just what Adam and Ken are capable of doing when the storyline really does come from the heart. Well, there we go. It goes without saying that any more feedback on Drek/Crystal would be highly appreciated. Happy New Year, folks. With things going on the path they are now, AnglePalooza should be a DAMNED good PPV.

Gift Tally So Far: KEEPING: Seinfeld: Seasons 1 & 2 Happy Gilmore/Billy Madison Collection The Rise and Fall of ECW Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas IRiver MP3 Player Ecko Sweatshirt Hair Gel Axe Bodyspray Gloves Socks Boxers Blank Tapes Approximately $100 in cash RETURNING: The Butterfly Effect - you tell someone a movie "isn't bad", and you suddenly find yourself owning it. Family Guy: The Freakin Sweet Collection - already own both seasons Some horrible green GAP sweatshirt Old Navy black vest All in all, not bad. Hard to beat last year's Christmas with getting WrestleMania XX tickets, but I've definitely had worse.

*We come back to a shot of Triple C at the announce position, a very serious look on each one of their faces, even Caboose* MICHAEL COLE Well Ladies and Gentlemen; it has come to this tonight. The match we are about to bring to you encompasses this Pay Per View Event, as it will be the Climax to a feud the likes of which we have not seen in the One and Only Anglesault Thread before. The OAOAST would like to advise to you all at home that if you are offended by gratuitous violence, blood, or disturbing images, that you change the channel. To the parents out there with young children, you may be well served to do the same. One of the men that we are about to see will never wrestle again after this match. Both men have an unbridled hatred of each other that has forced both into this contest. Coach, I believe you have prepared some keys to victory, but first, lets see how this all came about, Axel versus Ragdoll, in a Las Vegas Streetfight Retirement match. *The Climax logo flashes past the screen* A heavy piano note greets us as we are treated to a shot of Axel and Ragdoll face to face on last week’s HeldDown contract signing. It soon becomes clear that the song we are hearing is ‘Imagine’, A Perfect Circle’s cover of the John Lennon classic. Imagine there’s no heaven… It’s easy if you try… Axel is shown, his face bloody from Ragdoll’s attack last month in the Elimination Chamber, stumbling up the ramp and not letting anyone assist him. No hell below us… above us only sky… A shot of Ragdoll is next, during one of his many matches with his brother, K Money, being tortured in the Bounced Check, trying to reach the ropes. Imagine all the people… living for today… Axel pummeling Ragdoll with rights and lefts in the Elimination Chamber… Yoo-hoo-ooo… Ragdoll spitting fire into Axel’s face at World Without End… You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one… Axel going for the Axel Slam but Ragdoll reversing, Ragdoll going for the Devil Doll but Axel reversing… I hope some day you will join us, and the world will live as one. Both Axel and Ragdoll down on the mat, struggling to get up, as we fade to black… “It will be Ragdoll versus Axel, one on one, Las Vegas Deathmatch rules… … in a CAREERS match.” Axel is shown announcing the stipulation four weeks ago on HeldDown, and Ragdoll’s surprised reaction is then shown. Michael Cole’s voice then is heard in the background… COLE One man will not walk out! The loser must leave the wrestling business! Studio shots of Axel’s and Ragdoll’s faces are shown, the determination and hatred evident in their faces. Shots of their battles begin in a montage, overlaid with their voices talking about the match. AXEL It will all end tonight… RAGDOLL One of us will walk away from the business we love… AXEL One of us will have the ultimate revenge… RAGDOLL A Las Vegas Deathmatch. AXEL You can win by pinfall or submission. RAGDOLL Glass all over the ring. Glass Tables all round it. AXEL A flaming barbed wire Bat in the corner. RAGDOLL The most brutal match I could think of. AXEL You have to beat your opponent senseless. RAGDOLL I will stop at nothing to kill him. AXEL I want the ultimate revenge for trying to end my career. RAGDOLL I want my mantle back. I want to be known as the best wrestler… AXEL …to never hold the OAOAST Championship. RAGDOLL I want to KILL Axel. AXEL Ragdoll fears me. RAGDOLL Axel should be scared of what I am going to do to him. AXEL You can’t beat a man without fear Ragdoll, and I have no fear of leaving this business. RAGDOLL He might not have anything to lose, but I have no sense left. AXEL He’s insane, and so am I. RAGDOLL We will do anything imaginable to each other. AXEL To win, to make sure this ends the right way. RAGDOLL This is the end. AXEL This is the conclusion. AXEL and RAGDOLL This is the CLIMAX. *The Climax logo flashes over the screen again as Triple C are still at the announce position, Coach with a few papers and items* COLE Before we start, let’s go over the rules of this contest. Glass panels are currently being shattered all over the canvas, and glass tables are being set up all over the ring. There we can see a pole hanging from the corner, which will soon have a baseball bat, entwined in barbed wire and set on fire hanging from it. As you could probably guess there are no disqualifications, no count outs, and no rules. The only ways to win are by pinfall, or by making your opponent submit, give up, effectively making them give up their career, their livelihood. Pinfalls or submissions can occur anywhere in the building, although OAOAST officials will seal the entrance doors to try and contain the two men. Once again, this match will not be for the weak of heart. Coach, Caboose, your keys to victory. COACH Thanks Michael. Let’s have a look at the comparison between the two men firstly. Axel stands six feet two inches tall compared to Ragdoll’s five feet eleven. Now three inches might not seem a whole lot, but when you add in the almost eighty pounds that Ragdoll gives up to Axel, there is a definite leverage advantage. For Axel, he has to use this advantage to make sure he can stay vertical. If Axel can hit his power moves, like the Spinebuster, Death Valley Driver, or Dark Royalty, especially on that glass, then he will be well on the way to winning this match. CABOOSE While that may be true Coach, Ragdoll has the edge in cunning and smarts. He’s a sadistic son of a bitch, we’ve seen that in the past, and I’m sure over the past three or four weeks Ragdoll has been thinking up new ways to punish Axel in this match. THAT is what makes Ragdoll the favourite in this contest for me. He is psychotic, and unpredictable. He will literally do anything possible to win this match, stuff that you or I couldn’t even dream of. The other advantage Ragdoll has is his speed. To be an X Division Champion you need to have the speed and agility to pull off incredible moves and save yourself. Unless he has a distinct advantage, and Axel is down on the ground, Ragdoll needs to keep on Axel, just keep bothering him and wearing him down. COLE All true points guys, now lets cross to Josh Matthews in the backstage area, with Ragdoll. *The camera cuts to J-Math, standing next to Rags, who is, as always, smoking and looking insane* J-MATH Ragdoll, Austin Baker, you are about to participate in what could be the last match of your wrestling career. How do you… Rags snatches the microphone away from Josh and pushes him out of the camera shot, before turning to face the camera. RAGDOLL Axel… tonight, you will wish that I ended your career back at World Without End. See you in hell. *DING DING DING* Michael Buffer is shown standing in the centre of the ring, glass shards all around him. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, it is now time for the LAS VEGAS STREETFIGHT for the HI-YAH World Heavyweight Championship! In this contest, there will be no DQ, no count outs, and the only ways to win are by pinfall, or submission! The loser of this match MUST LEAVE WRESTLING FOREVER! COLE Here we are guys. I’ve been calling matches for these two men for over eighteen months now, and all opinions aside, it will be a shame to see one of them leave. COACH Definitely Michael, Ragdoll is on par with the likes of AJ Flaire as the greatest X Division Champion of all time, and we have never seen anything like Axel. This will be a huge loss for the OAOAST either way. We cut to a shot of Ragdoll and Jasmine walking up the corridor, and are surprised by the presence of al the OAOAST Superstars, who are lining the corridor. Ragdoll looks at all of them before walking on, but is stopped by Drek Stone, the OAOAST Champion. DREK I want you here Thursday night, I don’t want that asshole. You need me, you ask. RAGDOLL Drek, this is personal. You, or anyone else gets involved, I’ll kill them. Ragdoll walks a few feet more before turning to Jasmine. RAGDOLL Jas...promise me you won't come out there. JASMINE Austin, if you need help, I'm going to come out there... RAGDOLL No...I can't be worried about you...no matter what happens, don't come out there. Jasmine nods slightly, tears welling up in her eyes. RAGDOLL Promise me... JASMINE ...I promise...I love you, Austin. RAGDOLL I love you too...don't come out there...I mean it. Ragdoll walks on, up the stairs past the Gorilla position, and to the curtain. CUE: ‘Somebody Told Me’ by The Killers The rocky song hits, but it doesn’t match Ragdoll’s mood, as he steps from behind the curtain and trudges on down the ramp, showered with boos from the massive crowd, and even some cheers, as this is his hometown. He doesn’t seem to be paying any attention though, as he just focuses on the ring. BUFFER Introducing the first participant, he is one of the greatest X Division Champions of all time. Widely considered the best wrestler to never wear the OAOAST World Championship, he has never failed to deliver great performances week after week. He has beaten a host of different OAOAST legends, such as Zack Malibu, Calvin Szechstein, and our founder, Anglesault. He stands five feet eleven inches and weighs in at one hundred and sixty five pounds, and is the current and defending HI-YAH World Heavyweight Champion. Ladies and Gentlemen, from Las Vegas, Nevada, RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGDOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLL!!! A pop from the crowd at the mention of Las Vegas, but that doesn’t change their opinion of Ragdoll, the sadistic warrior. Rags steps between the ropes and into the ring, before slouching in the corner, but not sitting, as there is glass everywhere. COLE Ragdoll is looking as focused as ever tonight. COACH And as sadistic as ever. CABOOSE He’s ready guys; he’s been thinking up shit to do to Axel for months now, that mind of his is always ticking over. The music dies down, and Ragdoll’s eyes focus on the entrance ramp. Michael Buffer stands ready for the next entrance. *We see a shot of Axel walking through the same place as Ragdoll just walked, wrestlers filling the aisle. Drek Stone gives Axel a dirty look, and Axel shoots it right back at the Champion. Axel moves on, walking past The Global Party Exchange, Black T, Leon Rodez, Panther, his friend Gunner Sharps, who slaps him on the back, and then finally… to Crystal* CRYSTAL I guess this could be the last time… AXEL Yep, the last time we’re here. But it’s a little late now to get all lovey-dovey on me Crystal. CRYSTAL Uh-huh. Well, good luck out there, there’s a lot of stuff that hasn’t been said yet that should be. AXEL I know. But sometimes, some things are better left unsaid. *Axel walks on, and Crystal is left with an interesting expression on her face, one of sadness* Back at ringside, Ragdoll is impatiently awaiting Axel’s entrance, obviously wanting to get the whole match started. Suddenly… THE LIGHTS GO OUT! The crowd pops, knowing what is coming. They can feel the electricity in the building, and the fear that consumes everyone, even though they know that they are in no danger of getting hurt. A drum beat starts up, and one red spotlight appears at the entrance ramp. Suddenly, hooded figures come from behind the entrance ramp, in single file, each carrying flaming staffs. They stop at different parts on the ramp, and place the staffs in holders, before disappearing into the crowd. The drum beat gets louder, and the guitar starts… “Can You Feel That?” The drums continue, their beat not phasing Ragdoll, who is focused on the entrance ramp. “…shit.” The guitars begin again, and the flames on the staffs begin to rise, as if possessed by the music, which builds up, and up… “OW-A-A-A-A!” BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! Pyro shoots off of the top of the big screen and around the arena, and ‘Down With The Sickness” by Disturbed begins to blare over the loud speakers, eliciting a huge pop from the massive Las Vegas crowd. The red spotlight continues to shine on the entrance ramp, until a figure appears, doing the crucifix pose. The figure, The Dark Prince, steps out of the shadows and into the red spotlight, focusing on his opponent, the man who he puts his career up against tonight. COLE Way to make an entrance! Axel begins his decent down the entrance ramp, all the while focusing on Ragdoll. He walks between the staffs, creating a path of fire, until he comes to the bottom two. He points to his left, then his right, and then with both hands at Ragdoll, before striking the crucifix pose… BOOM! The staffs go out instantly, and the house lights come up! CABOOSE This won’t scare Ragdoll guys, he’s too focused, there is too much on the line tonight! Axel walks to the ring steps, before walking up to the ring apron. Michael Buffer begins to announce his name over the crowd’s cheering. BUFFER And introducing his opponent, who made his OAOAST debut in July of 2003. He holds victories over some of the most famous OAOAST superstars, including Zack Malibu, Calvin Szechstein, and even one of the founders of this company, CWM. He is a former Revolution Trophy winner, and Twenty-Four Seven Champion. A star in his home country, as well in Japan, his meteoric rise is unmatched, and no Australian has had more success in the squared circle. He stands six feet three inches tall, and weighs in tonight at two hundred and fifty five pounds… From Hobart, Tasmania, Australia, Ladies and Gentlemen, THIS IS AAAAAAAAAAXXXXXEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLL! Axel throws his coat to the floor and steps inside the glass ridden ring, locking eyes with Ragdoll. The referee goes to both men’s corners and tries to explain the rules of the match, but he gets no attention, as the stare down between the two men is not broken. He calls for the bell, and both men step forward. COLE The referee has called for the bell, and we are underway! COACH I thought these two guys were going to tear each other apart straight away, but a shot has not even been fired yet! CABOOSE Well you know these guys realise what this match means and what is involved. They are waiting for the right time. Axel and Ragdoll come face to face, but there is no jaw jacking, both men remain strangely silent. The hatred and anger fills their faces, and they both step back… …and strike each other at the same time! COLE Here we go! Axel with a right hand, Ragdoll with a right hand, Axel with a right hand, Ragdoll returns the favor once again. Axel with another, Ragdoll with another, both men putting all of their force behind stiff, hard, meaningful right hands. Around twenty hard shots are exchanged, with the crowd feeling every knuckle hit every temple. Finally Ragdoll breaks the stalemate, kneeing Axel in the gut, and going for a suplex on the glass… but Axel lands a right hand to the midsection of Ragdoll, forcing him out of the front face lock. Another kick by Axel to Ragdoll’s gut, followed by a third, and a fourth. Ragdoll staggers back to the point where he is almost off balance, and Axel rears back, setting up for a lariat. Axel charges forward, but Ragdoll ducks the lariat, and begins peppering Axel with some more right hands! Axel is forced up against the ropes, Ragdoll rears back this time, and he takes both men over the top rope with a Cactus Jack clothesline! COLE Both men have so much disdain for each other, its amazing, the physical nature of this match is off the charts! Axel and Ragdoll are up quickly on the outside, starting again where they left off, right hands, and more right hands, neither gaining a clear advantage. Ragdoll hits a right hand, but Axel comes back with a stiff uppercut that sends Ragdoll backward, and against the guard railing. Axel charges forward, but Ragdoll backdrops Axel over the guardrail… but Axel lands on his feet! Ragdoll turns around, and Axel grabs a hold of his head with two hands, before dropping his neck over the steel guard rail, both torquing his neck back, and crushing his larynx! Ragdoll gasps for air after the move, clutching at his throat, trying to get more air back into his system. Axel hops the guardrail, and lands a stiff boot to the head of Ragdoll, then looking down at his right hand, which is now bloody and grazed from the punches that have already been exchanged. COLE Look at Axel’s hand, and I imagine Ragdoll’s is the same way guys, just bloody from the battle that they have had! Axel grabs Ragdoll by the hair, picking him up to his feet, but Ragdoll connects with a hard shot to the gut of Axel, sending him backwards, clutching at his stomach. Ragdoll measures a punch, and lands an unprotected shot right to Axel’s forehead. Axel reels back, leaning on the guardrail, as Ragdoll shakes his hand. The cuts are deep, and his knuckles are raw. Axel pushes himself off the guardrail slowly as Ragdoll walks towards him, delivering another devastating punch to Axel's face, knocking the Aussie down to the mats. Ragdoll quickly grabs a glass table and places it in the guardrail corner. COLE Ragdoll is the first to touch the glass tables...I can only imagine what he's thinking about doing here. Ragdoll slowly walks back towards the announcement tables, kicking Axel in the head along the way. He picks up a nearby chair and folds it up, before turning back towards his nemesis, who is pulling himself up using the guardrail. Ragdoll holds the chair in one hand, studying Axel, who slowly turns to face him...Ragdoll runs forward, throwing Axel the chair. Axel instinctively catcWHAM!!!! Milliseconds after catching the chair, Axel's head is sandwiched in-between the steel chair and the guardrail, courtesy of a Deceptacon Van Daminator!! Axel releases the chair and clutches at his head, writhing in pain on the mats. Ragdoll smiles smugly as he stands...and is greeted by...Cheers? COLE The fans...oddly enough, are actually CHEERING Ragdoll! CABOOSE They respect what both of these men have done, and they respect that one of their careers is ending tonight. These cheers are out of respect for BOTH men. COACH Look out guys, the glass is coming into play here! Ragdoll slowly grabs Axel by the hair, dragging him toward the glass table. Ragdoll gently leans Axel up against the table face first...WHAM!! Axel delivers an elbow to Ragdoll's gut! WHAM!! Another!! WHAM!! ANOTHER!!! Axel's fighting back! Ragdoll, now visibly shaking from anger, grabs Axel once again by the hair and lifts his head up...CRASSSSHH!!!!!!!! The fans groan as Axel clutches at his face, which is now cut to all hell! COLE RAGDOLL JUST DROVE AXEL'S FACE THROUGH THE GLASS TABLE!!! CABOOSE Sadistic, thy name is Austin "Ragdoll" Baker!! Ragdoll starts screaming random obscenities at Axel, who is rolling around in pain, still clutching his face. The camera's mic picks up some of Ragdoll's screams. RAGDOLL "YOU LITTLE PUNK!! JUST ACCEPT THAT I'M BETTER!! FUCKING RESPECT ME!!" Ragdoll runs his hands through his hair as he looks around...his eyes suddenly lock on a large piece of glass. He smiles slightly as bends down and picks it up. COLE Oh no...Oh no... CABOOSE Ragdoll's sadistic, but he's not a killer...he won't...he wouldn't... Ragdoll slowly drops to a knee and grabs Axel by the shirt collar. He quickly stabs a hole near the top, and slices down. The women in the audience shriek as Axel's shirt gets ripped off. Ragdoll's eyes are full of hatred, anger, jealousy...everything except love and sanity. CABOOSE My god...Ragdoll... COACH No...he's putting it near Axel's heart... Ragdoll smiles wider as he slowly pushes the glass into Axel's chest, causing Axel to scream in pain. Ragdoll puts his hand over Axel's throat as he starts to crudely carve an "A"...then an "R"...then a "B"...the initials of Austin "Ragdoll" Baker. Ragdoll stands quickly as Axel clutches at his chest and rolls around in pain. COLE My god...Ragdoll just carved his initials into Axel's chest... CABOOSE He is completely out of his mind! He’s intent on seriously injuring Axel tonight! Ragdoll slowly climbs into the ring and pulls a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. He smiles wide as the fans once again boo. COLE Such disrespect from Ragdoll! He has a cigarette while Axel is bleeding profusely. Ragdoll slowly climbs up the turnbuckle and raises his cigarette towards the flaming barbed wire bat. The fans once again boo as Ragdoll pushes his long greasy hair out of his face, revealing his sadistic smile, and puts the cigarette in his mouth. Axel, meanwhile, is slowly beginning to stand. His face and chest are covered in blood. Ragdoll walks slowly over to the opposite side of the ring and climbs out. He reaches under and begins searching for something. COLE Oh my...look at Axel's face... COACH I'm going to be sick... Ragdoll, apparently has found what he was looking for, and stands. He holds a Singapore Cane. He smiles wide once again as Axel climbs slowly into the ring, trying to avoid as much glass as possible. COLE No, don’t go in there Axel! CABOOSE Ragdoll has been dreaming of this for a month now, he’s loving every second of this! Ragdoll puts the cane under the bottom rope and brushes it from side to side, making a clearing in the glass. He then quickly slides in and stands, rushing towards Axel...WHACK!!! Axel takes a cane shot to the head!!! WHACK!!! Another shot, but Axel won't go down!! WHACK!! Another shot, even harder than the first two, and Axel is still standing!! Ragdoll growls as he brings the cane back....CRACK!!! Axel slowly crumbles to the glass covered mat as the top half of the cane goes flying into the crowd! COLE He...HE JUST BROKE THAT BAMBOO CANE OVER AXEL'S HEAD!! Ragdoll takes the cigarette out of his mouth and kicks some glass away, before dropping to his knees...WHACK!! WHACK!! WHACK!!! The fans groan as the broken cane slaps against Axel's bare back, leaving bright red welts. Axel remains still, having enough sense in his now-scrambled mind to know that if he rolls around, he'll be rolling in glass. He lets out screams of pain, though. Ragdoll finally throws the cane away and puts the cigarette back into his mouth as he stands, once again climbing out of the ring. He makes his way slowly over to Micheal Buffer. COLE What's Ragdoll doing over here?! Ragdoll quickly grabs the mic and puts it to his lips. RAGDOLL "Fuck pinning this piece of shit...I've pinned him before. No, I'm going to prove once and for all that I'M fucking better than him!" Ragdoll quickly slides into where he made the clearing and stands, walking over towards Axel, who is still lying on the mat. Ragdoll grabs him by his blood soaked hair and yanks him up. RAGDOLL "You piece of fucking shit! This is what you fucking wanted, and you can't fucking handle it?! FUCK YOU!! You're done! YOUR FUCKING CAREER IS DONE!! I want you to tell all these people in attendance, and the millions watching at home, that you've had enough! I want you to say, 'Austin...Mr. Baker...I'm done...I can't take the pain anymore...I'm done...'...I want you to say that right FUCKING now!" Ragdoll shoves the mic into Axel's face, but Axel says nothing. Ragdoll is beginning to get frustrated. RAGDOLL "Just say it, Axel! Just fucking say it! I've already fucking won! You can't fucking beat me! Just say it!" Once again Ragdoll shoves the mic to Axel's mouth, but Axel, once again, remains silent. RAGDOLL "JUST SAY IT, YOU FUCKING CUNT!! JUST FUCKING SAY IT!! YOU'RE DONE!! YOU'RE DONE!! YOU'RE NOTHING!! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO LIVE FOR?! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK PEOPLE CARE ABOUT YOU?! DO YOU THINK ANYBODY EVEN FUCKING WANTS YOU IN THIS FUCKING COMPANY?! YOU'RE NOTHING!! YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT THAT WON'T FUCKING FLUSH!! I'M AUSTIN FUCKING BAKER!! YOU'RE NOTHING, YOU MEAT-HEADED SHIT SACK!! JUST FUCKING SAY IT!!!" Ragdoll once again drives the mic into Axel's face...Axel slowly opens his mouth... AXEL "...F...Fuck...you..." The fans erupt as Ragdoll starts shaking from anger. He suddenly drives Axel's head into the glass covered mat and sits on top of him, putting Axel's arms under his knees. Axel's pinned down. The ref goes to make the count, but Ragdoll shoves him away. He then puts his lit cigarette mere centimeters from Axel's right eye. RAGDOLL "YOU WANT ME TO FUCKING BURN YOUR EYE OUT?! DON'T YOU FUCKING TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!! I'M AUSTIN BAKER!! I'M THE GREATEST X CHAMPION IN THE HISTORY OF THIS FUCKING COMPANY!! WHAT HAVE YOU ACCOMPLISHED?! I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD, I'LL END YOUR CAREER AND BURN OUT YOUR FUCKING EYES, YOU FUCK!! YOU FU..." Ragdoll suddenly flies forward, courtesy of a toe kick to the back of the head from Axel!! The fans roar as Ragdoll goes in-between the bottom and second ropes! He lands on the apron as Axel suddenly shoots up...AND DROPKICKS INTO RAGDOLL'S STOMACH!! Ragdoll flies off the apron...CRASH!!!! The fans erupt as Ragdoll rolls around in pain amidst the shattered glass table!! Axel quickly stands and grabs a piece of glass from the ring before sliding out. He quickly straddles Ragdoll and rips off his shirt...AND DRIVES THE GLASS INTO HIS CHEST!! The fans cheers are mind-blowing as Axel carves an "A"...then an "X"...then an "E"...then an "L"!! Axel stands quickly, glaring down at Ragdoll, who clutches at his chest! COLE SOME FUCKING REDEMPTION FROM AXEL!! YES!!! Axel quickly grabs Ragdoll by his greasy hair and lifts him up, driving his fist into his face. Axel backs up a bit, before rushing forward and wrapping his arms around Ragdoll's waist! Axel lifts...but Ragdoll turns in mid-air and lands on his feet! Ragdoll lifts...CRASH!!! OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY THROUGH ANOTHER GLASS TABLE!! Axel lies motionless on the mats as Ragdoll stands quickly. He reaches into the ring and grabs another piece of glass...and starts cutting at his head with it! Within seconds, Ragdoll's face is covered in blood! The camera's mic picks up his insane screams. RAGDOLL "I DON'T FUCKING CARE!! THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN FUCKING DO TO ME, AXEL, THAT I HAVEN'T ALREADY DONE TO MYSELF!! NOTHING FUCKING HURTS ME!!! NOTHING!!" COLE ...That's...that's just too much...I can't take that... CABOOSE Ragdoll...we've said before that he's insane...but this proves that he's nuts...he's completely fucking insane... Ragdoll throws down the bloody piece of glass and stomps towards Axel, who is starting to move...and starts untying his shoes. Within mere seconds, Ragdoll has ripped off one of Axel's boots, and is quickly going for the other...Axel is now shoe and sock-less. Ragdoll turns quickly and throws the boots into the crowd. Without a moment wasted, Ragdoll reaches under the ring and pulls out a regular table. COLE Axel...is now bootless... CABOOSE As sick and twisted as it is, it's genius. Axel now has to walk through the glass BAREFOOT! Ragdoll quickly sets up the table near the turnbuckle, and gets to work folding a glass table. He lays the glass table on top of the wood one, then quickly picks up Axel. Ragdoll gently lays him on top of the two tables, punches him twice in the face for good measure...and climbs up the stairs...and UP THE TURNBUCKLE!! COLE Oh no...Oh god no... With each step Ragdoll takes, the fans in attendance rise...Ragdoll perches himself on the top turnbuckle, and all the fans are standing, watching the madman. CABOOSE I think I know...I think I know what he's going to do... Ragdoll slowly starts to stand, never taking his eyes off of Axel, who is motionless on the tables. Ragdoll crosses himself...AND LEAPS!! LAS VEGAS NIGHTMARE!! Time goes slowly as Ragdoll performs a picture-perfect Shooting Star Press... AND AXEL ROLLS OFF THE TABLE!!!!! Ragdoll sees this, and the entire arena hears him yell "FUCK!!" moments before.....CRASH!!!!!!! The fans start chanting "HO-LY SHIT!!" as Axel, still lying on the mats, stares at Ragdoll, who is motionless amongst the shattered glass and wood chips. COLE RAGDOLL MISSED THE LAS VEGAS NIGHTMARE FROM THE TURNBUCKLE TO THE OUTSIDE!!! HE PUT HIMSELF THROUGH BOTH TABLES!!! MY FUCKING GOD!!!! CABOOSE He’s dead, they both are, there’s no way they can get up from this! Axel begins to stir, his eyes fixed on Ragdoll, who lies motionless amongst the wreckage of glass and wood! Axel begins to crawl through the glass, his face and body covered in blood, crawling for all that he’s worth over his opponent, and finally… … PUTTING AN ARM OVER HIM FOR THE COVER! The referee counts! ONE!!!!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! CABOOSE No! Not like this! COLE Axel has Ragdoll here! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! RAGDOLL KICKED OUT! COACH How the hell did he do that??? CABOOSE Instinct. That’s the only thing that I can think of. Instinct. Ragdoll and Axel both begin to show a greater amount of consciousness, reaching for the nearest ring rope to try and pull themselves up. Axel is the first one to reach the ropes, but with his lack of footwear, he finds it difficult to stand. Ragdoll gets to his feet on the other side, and immediately glares at Axel, his eyes full of pure hatred. Ragdoll stalks his prey, walking over to Axel slowly, waiting for him to get to his feet. Axel finally does so, using a broken piece of table to clear some of the glass away so he can stand. Ragdoll looks at his opponent with a half-smirk on his face, as Axel is almost helpless after what has been done to him so far. The two blood soaked warriors meet each others gaze, and Ragdoll lunges forward with a right hand! Axel staggers a step back onto the glass, which makes his scream in pain… but he still manages to come back with a right hand of his own! Ragdoll is in shock that Axel still has fight left in him after the punishment that he has been put through, and mouths to words ‘son of a bitch’ under his breath, before connecting with another stiff right hand! Axel fires back quickly this time, with a right of his own! Ragdoll with a right! Axel with a right! The fans building in anticipation with every clash of skull and fist! COLE Axel is fighting back! Axel still has life left! Ragdoll finally gets the advantage, connecting with right hand after right hand to Axel’s already-mangled skull. He rears back and sets up for a clothesline, charges forward… but Axel ducks under it! Ragdoll turns around, Axel steadies… …MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER ON THE GLASS! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!” COLE OH MY GOD! RAGDOLL’S BACK DRIVEN INTO THE GLASS! CABOOSE No one can take this kind of pain and get back up! Axel stands up pretty quickly for a guy that’s been through as much as he has in this match, and stares down at his lifeless opponent. He looks up at the crowd, anger, hatred, and exhaustion evident on his face. He raises his arms up in the crucifix pose, blood dripping from cuts in his forehead, his chest, and his arms, and yells, at the top of his lungs a chilling message for his opponent, one that is surprisingly filled with elation… AXEL OH, IT’S ON NOW MOTHERFUCKER! IT’S TIME RAGDOLL! YOU. ARE. FUCKED! COLE Axel’s got a new burst of adrenaline here! He’s got his second wind! COACH And heaven help anyone who tries to get in his way! Axel looks down at his opponent and then looks up at the one item that has been neglected throughout the match, the barbed wire flaming baseball bat in the corner. He sees that Ragdoll is incapacitated for the moment, and so he decides to try and obtain it. He tries his best to step over the glass, but he can’t avoid it, and cringes every time he feels a piece piercing his flesh. Axel climbs the turnbuckles, albeit slowly, and finally reaches up and grabs the baseball bat from its hook. Meanwhile, Ragdoll is up on his feet, and gunning for Axel! COLE Look out Axel, Ragdoll’s coming! CABOOSE Kill him Rags! Ragdoll gives Axel a shot to the back, and grabs him in a Crucifix Powerbomb position, but Axel is still holding the bat! Ragdoll runs to powerbomb his opponent on the glass, but Axel slips down his back, and cringes in pain, as he lands feet first on the glass. Ragdoll turns around… …BAM! Axel LAYS RAGDOLL OUT with the Flaming Baseball bat! COACH WHAT A SHOT! REDEMPTION FROM AXEL! Axel throws the bat out of the ring, and covers Ragdoll once again! ONE… TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO… THRNO! Ragdoll somehow kicks out of the pinfall attempt, his forehead now bleeding from deep gashes! COLE Ragdoll kicks out AGAIN! This man is not human! COACH Oh no! He’s a ZOMBIE! CABOOSE You really are a fuckin’ idiot. Axel pleads, BEGS Ragdoll to get up, and his opponent obliges. Ragdoll gets up to both feet and looks at his crimson-soaked opponent. Axel springs into action, delivering a hard right hand! Another! Another! Another! BAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM! Axel is delivering hard rights at blistering speed, and Ragdoll is back against the ropes! Axel grabs Ragdoll’s left arm and tries an Irish Whip, but Ragdoll blocks it! Axel tries the whip once again, but it is blocked a second time! COLE Ragdoll won’t budge here! CABOOSE He won’t let Axel win, if it takes every ounce of energy, he won’t let Axel get the advantage! Axel tries to Irish Whip Ragdoll a third time, but… BAM! Ragdoll goes downstairs with a low kick to Axel’s nuts! Axel clutches at his privates in pain, and Ragdoll takes advantage, locking his opponent in a front face lock! Ragdoll flashes an evil smirk to the crowd, before attempting a suplex on the glass… but Axel blocks it! Ragdoll tries again, but Axel blocks it again! Axel connects with a hard shot to the stomach of Ragdoll. Axel reverses the front face lock with one of his own, lifts Ragdoll high in the air, and… …BRAINBUSTER ON THE GLASS! COLE OH MY GOD! RAGDOLL’S HEAD WAS JUST DRIVEN INTO THE GLASS! AXEL HAS A COVER! ONE… TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO… THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENO! Ragdoll JUST gets a shoulder up! COACH And Ragdoll kicks out AGAIN! This guy is amazing! Axel looks down at Ragdoll with disbelief, but soon realises that to beat his opponent, he is going to have to act straight away and try and keep on the offensive. Axel picks Ragdoll up to his feet immediately, and strikes the crucifix pose to the crowd, who respond with a mighty cheer! COLE Axel might be going for a big move here; he might be trying to put Ragdoll away! CABOOSE No, Ragdoll won’t lose! He can’t lose! Axel hoists Ragdoll over his shoulder, and tries to get him into the Tombstone position for Dark Royalty! COACH Axel is going to try and piledrive Ragdoll onto the glass! This could be the final nail in the coffin of Ragdoll’s career! Axel tries desperately to get Ragdoll into position, but Ragdoll has life still left in him! Ragdoll slips off Axels back… and REVERSES THE HOLD, getting Axel into the tombstone position! CABOOSE YES! YES! COLE and COACH NO! Ragdoll jumps… … DARK ROYALTY ON THE GLASS! COLE RAGDOLL USED AXEL’S OWN INVERTED PILEDRIVER AGAINST HIM! CABOOSE YES! AXEL’S CAREER IS GONE! DONE! FINISHED! Ragdoll puts his arm over the motionless Axel… ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOO! Axel JUST gets a shoulder up! The crowd collectively breathes a sigh of relief! COLE I thought it was done, I really thought Axel had lost. COACH Amazing, the resiliency of these two guys is amazing! Ragdoll can’t believe that Axel kicked out, he is FURIOUS that Axel somehow found the strength to get a shoulder up. So much so, that he gets to his feet, and goes straight for the referee, grabbing him by the collar and threatening to beat the shit out of him for not counting the three count. The referee tells Ragdoll that he can’t manhandle him, and points to his OAOAST Official logo. Ragdoll doesn’t take any notice, and propels the referee over the top rope, to the floor! The referee is out cold! COLE Ragdoll is taking his frustrations out on the referee! As much as he says he doesn’t care about the victory, Ragdoll wants Axel gone from the OAOAST! CABOOSE Oh definitely Michael, Ragdoll cares a whole lot more than he is letting on about winning this match! He wants to retire Axel just as much as he wants to hurt him! Ragdoll climbs out of the ring, talking to himself, obviously cursing Axel for kicking out and continuing to take the immense punishment that Ragdoll has handed to him. Ragdoll reaches under the ring and rummages around for something, and finally finds it. He pulls out the inanimate object… …a sack??? COLE Huh? What the hell does Ragdoll want a sack for? COACH Yeah, Santa came to my house last night! CABOOSE Well since Christmas is a time of giving, I think Ragdoll is about to give Axel the contents of that sack, or at least, make sure he gets well acquainted with them! COLE What do you mean? CABOOSE Well, let’s just say that Austin Baker loved Mick Foley as a kid. COACH Yay! He’s bringing out socko! Ragdoll steps back into the ring, the sack firmly in his hand. He walks over to one of the corners, and on the way past gives Axel a stiff kick to the back of the head for good measure, that entices a ‘OOOOOOH’ from the crowd. Ragdoll takes the sack over to a corner, where he drops… … THUMBTACKS. COLE Oh my god. Thumbtacks. COACH Business has just picked up! CABOOSE This is gonna be REAL good. Ragdoll empties about half the contents of the bag onto the mat, placing the rest in the opposite corner. He looks at Axel and slaps the back of his head, mocking his fallen opponent. He begins to taunt Axel just like he did earlier… RAGDOLL YOU ARE NOTHING! YOU STUPID ASSHOLE, YOU DIDN’T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE GETTING INTO! I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU! Axel, now showing some signs of life, tries to get to his feet. Surprisingly, Ragdoll helps his opponent, lifting him up, but obviously having bad intentions. Ragdoll gets Axel in a Suplex position near the corner with the thumbtacks and sits his larger opponent on the top rope, leaving him incapacitated for the time being. Axel sits on the top rope, and Ragdoll soon joins him, a mixture of glass and thumbtacks below where they are perched. He grabs Axel by the head in an Ace Crusher position, and laughs an evil, satanic laugh that sends shivers down the crowd’s spine. COLE What’s he going to try here? CABOOSE I’ve seen Ragdoll do this move before! Axel’s head is going to come up close and personal with those tacks! Ragdoll pulls Axel up to the top rope so that both men are as high as they can be! The pole used to hold the baseball bat behind them, Ragdoll tries… … TOP ROPE DIAMOND CUTTER FROM THE TOP ROPE ONTO THE TACKS… …BUT AXEL HOLDS ON TO THE POLE AND RAGDOLL GOES CRASHING INTO THE TACKS AND GLASS! “HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!” CABOOSE NO! NO! COACH That was one of THE SICKEST misses I have ever seen guys! That was AMAZING! Ragdoll landed from the top rope on those thumbtacks and that glass! Ragdoll rolls onto his side, obviously in immense pain! His back ad legs red and filled with thumbtacks and shards of glass! Obviously in shock with adrenaline running through his body, Ragdoll gets to his feet almost straight away! COLE Axel is up top here! Axel is indeed on the top rope, and flies off, connecting with a top rope clothesline! COACH Clothesline by Axel, that almost took Ragdoll’s head off! COVER! COLE He can’t kick out, he won’t kick out! CABOOSE KICK OUT! KCIK OUT! ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ragdoll rolls onto his chest! COLE HOLY SHIT, THE CRAZY BASTARD KICKED OUT! CABOOSE RAGDOLL IS STILL ALIVE! Axel immediately grabs Ragdoll by the head and pulls it back, applying the DEVIL’S CLUTCH!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHH!” COLE Devil’s Clutch! Devil’s Clutch! RAGDOLL MAY TAP! Ragdoll screams in pain from the painful submission hold! Axel tries to hook one arm behind, but he can’t, so Ragdoll has one arm free! Axel arches back harder on Ragdoll, making his opponent scream even louder! Suddenly, Ragdoll raises his arm in the air, and looks down at the amt, still in excruciating pain! CABOOSE NO Ragdoll! Don’t tap! NO! Ragdoll raises his arm, and lowers it… …lowers it… …but grabs a large piece of glass! Ragdoll buries the glass into Axel’s arm, CAUSING AXEL TO RELEASE THE HOLD! COLE HOLY CRAP! Ragdoll just BURED that glass into Axel’s arm! That is SICK! Axel grasps at his arm, and pulls the piece of glass out, in a real ‘UUUGH’ moment fro the crowd! He struggles to his feet, still finding it difficult to stand, as the glass has pierced his socks and are now stained red from the cuts! COACH Jeez, Axel must be in such pain! CABOOSE He knew he was going to go through this guys, he knew it was going to be this bad. COLE But could he ever have predicted to be in this much pain?? Axel is obviously in a great amount of torture, stepping out of the ring, putting all his weight on his left foot, because his right foot is obviously the more heavily cut. Axel grabs a glass table from the outside, and with great difficulty, he folds it up, and slides it into the ring. COLE Axel is going for all or nothing this time, he’s bringing out the big guns again, another glass table! CABOOSE He’s wasting way too much time guys! Axel gingerly steps back into the ring and grabs the glass table, using the strength that he has left to set up the legs and stand it upright. Meanwhile, Ragdoll is up to his hands and knees, coughing and spluttering, obviously feeling the effects of the thumbtack-ridden landing. Axel sets up the table, putting it in the correct position. Axel then grabs the sack of thumbtacks that Ragdoll placed in that corner earlier, and proceeds to empty the contents onto the glass table! COLE I don’t know what Axel has in mind this time, but after what we have seen, NOTHING surprises me in this match! He looks at the thumbtacks around him that scattered due to the force of Ragdoll’s landing, and takes a deep breath, exhausted from the action that he has just seen. Ragdoll has found his way to his feet, although he doesn’t seem to be ‘all there’, with thumbtacks sticking out of his back and the back of his head. COACH Axel is setting up that table, but Ragdoll is getting up! The two men finally both come to their senses, but Axel still does not realise that Ragdoll is there, he has been too busy setting up the glass table, which could be viewed as a very bad move. Finally, axel turns around to face his opponent, but soon staggers back, crying out in pain! Ragdoll has grabbed a thumbtack from the canvas, and stabbed Axel in the forehead with it as soon a she turned around! COLE That is sick! Ragdoll lines up his boot, and… BOOM! All the males in the crowd breathe a collective sigh his Ragdoll kicks a field goal between Axel’s legs! CABOOSE Man, nothing is sacred! Axel goes down to one knee, and Ragdoll runs to the other side of the ring! Ragdoll charges… DEVIL DOLL!!! COLE DEVIL DOLL BY RAGDOLL! COVER! CABOOSE YES! YES! ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COACH WHAT? COLE HE KICKED OUT OF THE DEVIL DOLL! CABOOSE HOW???? Ragdoll looks somewhat stunned that Axel kicked out, and has that deranged look on his face again! Ragdoll begins picking up the shards of glass, and trying to force them down Axel’s throat! RAGDOLL YOU CAN’T END ME! YOU WILL NEVER END ME YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD! YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME, YOU ARE NOTHING! I’M GOING TO FUCKING END YOU AXEL! I’M GOING TO KILL YOU! COLE This… is just sick… COACH Ragdoll was right last Thursday… this is disturbing. Ragdoll stand up and runs to the other side of the ring, obviously setting up for another Devil Doll. Axel shards of glass in his mouth, his lips now cut, spits out the glass, and coughs up blood! Axel grabs his throat in pain, before struggling up to one knee! COLE NO Axel! Don’t get up! CABOOSE Yes Axel, Get up and face your destiny! Feel this moment guys, feel this… Ragdoll runs at Axel… …BUT AXEL CATCHES RAGDOLL’S FOOT! CABOOSE NO! Axel spins Ragdoll’s foot around, and jumps up from his knees to his feet! Axel grabs Ragdoll from behind, and hoists him up onto his shoulders! CABOOSE DON’T DO IT! NO! Axel turns to look at the crowd, before shouting a simple message… AXEL BYE BYE, MOTHERFUCKER! Axel Rotates Ragdoll over… …AXEL SLAM THROUGH THE FUCKING GLASS TABLE COVERED IN THUMBTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AXEL SLUMPS ON TOP OF RAGDOLL FOR THE COVER! ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CABOOSE NO! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! CABOOSE NO! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” *DING DING DING* BUFFER Here is your winner… and NEW HI-YAH WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… AAAAAAAAAAAXELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! The fans go absolutely INSANE at the three count, as ‘Down with the Sickness’ begins to blare over the speakers. The referee holds up Axel’s arm, but there is no energy in their man, they are both on the mat, exhausted from their titanic battle. COLE These two men gave us everything tonight, every single ounce of their being! COACH They should both be commended for a very long time, but Ragdoll must now leave the wrestling business! CABOOSE This is a sad night for the OAOAST! After a minute or so, the referees clear the glass out of the way and roll Axel out of the ring, followed by Ragdoll. Both have regained their wits, and Ragdoll seems to have a tear in his eye. COLE This is an emotional moment, like him or not, Austin ‘Ragdoll’ Baker was one hell of a competitor, and he entertained us every second he was in the OAOAST! COACH I agree Michael Cole, fuck kayfabe, Austin Baker; we are in debt to you, congratulations on a stellar career in the OAOAST. Both Axel and Ragdoll begin to walk up the ramp with help from the referees, but they soon stop. The crowd let out an almighty cheer, and it is soon evident that the entire locker room has emptied onto the top of the entrance ramp. Every OAOAST Superstar except a few are at the entrance ramp, applauding both men, and the career or Austin Baker. We see a shot of Triple C who also get on their feet and applaud, and the crowd soon follows. ‘RAG-DOLL! RAG-DOLL!’ Both Axel and Ragdoll get to the top of the ramp, and are greeted with handshakes and hugs from the superstars. We see that Austin’s brother Ken is on the ramp, and he gives his brother a hug, as Crystal and Gunner Sharps do the same to Axel. The women are crying, and the men are trying hard not to, but it is evident that they are losing one of their own. CABOOSE Austin Baker, we thank you for all that you have done, for the effort that you have given, and for the friendships that you have made. Axel and Ragdoll soon come face to face, as the superstars back away to give them a moment. They look at each other, shake hands, and nod at each other, as a sign of respect. COLE They may have wanted to kill each other five minutes ago, but screw that, they are great friends. Ragdoll is then given a microphone, to which he addresses the sold out crowd. RAGDOLL Shit… I just wanted to say thank you to everybody behind me, to all of you, and to everyone that has helped me out over the years. It’s hard to leave this, but I gotta go. So bye all, it’s been a fucking blast. “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!” COLE Well Austin Baker is now officially retired from the wrestling business by losing this hellacious contest to Axel! What a night it has been, and what a 2005 it is shaping up to be! For Jonathon Coachman and Caboose, I’m Michael Cole at OAOAST Climax. Goodnight everybody! *END SHOW*

Many say most of your posts are pointless anyway.

Boo! If I weren't so lazy, I'd go back and edit that post to say something creative like "OAOAST ROOLZ, SWF DROOLZ!@#!" or something of the sort, but meh.... But be rest assured, this Thursday, Drek Stone will EITHER: A) Boast about his Heavyweight Championship defense at Climax OR B) Whine about his Heavyweight Championship loss at Climax .... What will happen??

Hoff, keep it in your pants. kplzthx.

Oh, if I had the power to ban..... Now, if you'll excuse me Adam, I'm off to swim in the official OAOAST moderator Olympic-Sized Swimming Pool. Then it's off to a rousing game of cricket with Patty and Tony. Toodles.