Bored

I wonder what he gave Gia...although that was an HBO movie so might not have reviewed but she was naked half the time and did a couple of lesbian scenes to boot. Well okay I'd give that a positive review too.

Like I said in another thread Ebert is the horniest critic in Hollywood and will give any move with a incredibly hot leading lady a positive review. This especially true of all Angelia Jolie movies. Hell I saw the Ebert & Roeper when they reviewed Tomb Raider 2 and Roeper called him out on it about he was just smitten with Angelia Jolie and Ebert said "what's so wrong with that?" I'm sure Gia is his favorite whack off material.

Kind of funny in retrospect, isn't it? Yes it is...funny because RVD was the only non-WWE Alliance member that was booked strong during the Invasion angle.

IIRC, this was a fun little match. Helms & Moore got to break out some of their 3-Count double team moves, and both teams went on to have a couple more fun matches together. CRZ recap: BILLY & CHUCK (534 pounds - with Rico) v. THE HURRICANE & SHANNON MOORE (410 pounds - with SmackDown! in Seattle hype) referee: MIKE SPARKS It's Chuck and Hurricane to start. Rico makes some noise, Hurricane looks his way, and it's Chuck with a shot in the back on a distracted Hurricane. Right hand puts him down. Scoop...but Hurricane's free - to the ropes, Chuck shakes him off - and Hurricane poses. Chuck runs into a drop toehold - Hurricane with a flying kick (Tazz: "flyin' wizard" - huh?) - 1, 2, no. Chuck reverses the whip, blind tag, Hurricane rolls under, pokes the eye - Moore off the top with a flying headscissors! But Billy comes in and clotheslines him down. Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp stomp stomp. Sparks is busy putting Hurricane in the corner and missed the no tag. Billy stands on the neck for 4. Big right hand. Into the ropes, brought up...Moore dropkicks at the apex! Tag to Hurricane - clothesline, clothesline, clotheslines, into the ropes is reversed but Hurricane reverses to a swinging DDT - Chuck in, Hurricane ducks but he keeps running until knocking Moore off the apron, back to Hurricane who grabs the choke - Billy ALSO in a choke - of course, that doesn't happen - double flapjack by Billy & Chuck, who covers - and gets 2. Head to the boot of Billy, tag, right by Chuck, left for Billy to stand on him. Sparks warning him and Rico gets in the choke as well. Billy with a right hand. Right. Right, right, firing up the crowd, into the opposite corner...taking too long here...running at him and nobody's home on the splash attempt! Hurricane with a neckbreaker! Moore is jumping for a tag but it'll be Chuck getting that tag first. HOT TAG TO MOORE! Clothesline by Moore! Clothesline! Kick - off the ropes with a front flip neckbreaker! To the top rope - off the top with a moonsault! Billy in without a tag - One and Only puts Moore down. But Hurricane is in and hits the chokeslam! Rico in - Hurricane puts him over the top to the floor! Hurricane runs the ropes - Billy shoves Rico out of his way and Hurricane crashes on Rico! Back in the ring, Moore attempts a top rope leap into a Frankensteiner but Chuck catches him and stops it. Calling to Billy, Chuck puts Moore on his shoulder for Code Red (Doomsday Device) - Hurricane tries to stop Billy on his way up, but gets kicked off. Billy leaps but Moore ducks, then drops down to complete a victory roll - 1, 2, 3!! (4:37) Replay of "Shannon Moore's Miracle." Three unhappy guys left in the ring.

That makes me want to poke my eye out with a toothpick. This was actually a pretty good mark-out moment at the time since had held it for nearly a year but Luger dropped it back to Hogan five days later but that was WCW for ya. Recap by G.P. Ryan on the RSPW message board: Lex Luger vs. WCW champion Hulk Hogan Luger's entrance. --break-- (Wow, Pillman vs. Holly) It's 10:43, and the bell just rang. Hogan goes to a hammerlock, reversed and he quickly gets to the ropes. (1:00) Lockup, Luger pushes him down and flexes. Hogan powers him to the corner and shoves him back and ambles away. (2:00) Hogan kicks him in the gut and pounds on him in the corner. He chokes him with his boot, then goes outside and elbows and punches him repeatedly. Whip and clothesline (3:00) 2 elbowdrops and a stomp. Hogan corner whip and charging clothesline. Slams and chokes him. Hogan runs Luger into the corner twice, then gets blocked and Luger rams him 10 times at 4:30. Randy Anderson moves him away and Hogan decks him. (5:00) --break-- (lasted about 2:30) Hogan decks Luger gain. He shoulderblocks and covers for 2 at about 8:00. He delivers a belly-to-back suplex, but Luger's foot is on the rope. Some chops send Luger down for 2. (9:00) Hogan hits the big boot for 2. (10:00) He slams him and hits the Legdrop of Doom but Luger kicks out, then evades a second attempt. Luger hits a clothesline. Hall coems in and gets decked, as are Nash and Savage. Luger hits a running forearm, tosses Savage over the top, and RACKS HIM. WINNER: Lex Luger at 11:25 (new WCW champion) *

August 5, 1996 Harlem Heat def. The Rock ‘n’ Roll Express Malia Hosaka def. Madusa Alex Wright def. Chris Benoit by count out Randy Savage def. Steven Regal The Booty Man def. Ric Flair by DQ The Giant def. Sgt. Craig Pittman Sting & Lex Luger def. The Nasty Boys August 4, 1997 Curt Hennig def. Mortis Jeff Jarrett & Dean Malenko def. Chavo Guerrero Jr. & Hector Guerrero The Giant def. Lenny Lane, Scott DeMore, & Joey Maggs in a handicap match The Public Enemy def. High Voltage Alex Wright def. Scotty Riggs Chris Benoit def. Syxx by DQ Booker T def. Vincent Wrath def. The Barbarian Konnan def. Psicosis Glacier & Ernest Miller def. Silver King & Damien Diamond Dallas Page def. Ric Flair by DQ Los Villanos def. Hector Garza & Lizmark Jr. Lex Luger def Hollywood Hogan to win the WCW World Heavyweight Title August 3, 1998 Diamond Dallas Page def. The Barbarian Disco Inferno NC Psychosis Brian Adams def. Jim Duggan Eddie Guerrero def. Juventud Guerrera Lizmark Jr. def. Stevie Ray by count out Curt Hennig def. Konnan Rey Mysterio Jr. def. Chris Jericho Scott Hall & The Giant def. Sting & Bret Hart by DQ; Tag Title Match August 9, 1999 Vampiro & The Insane Clown Posse def. Norman Smiley, Prince Iaukea, & Lash LeRoux Curt Hennig & Barry Windham def. The Public Enemy Mona def. Little Jeanie Chris Benoit def. David Flair to win the United States Heavyweight Title Eddy Guerrero & Rey Mysterio Jr. def. Dave Taylor & Chris Adams Kidman def. Disco Inferno by DQ Buff Bagwell def. Scott Norton Kanyon def. Booker T Hulk Hogan, Goldberg, & Sting def. Kevin Nash, Sid Vicious, & Rick Steiner August 7, 2000 Vampiro, The Great Muta, & Demon def. The Jung Dragons Kronik def. Mark Jindrak & Sean O’Haire by DQ; Tag Title Match Buff Bagwell & Judy Bagwell def. Kanyon & Pamela Paulshock Scott Steiner def. Sting in a Pipe on a Pole Match Booker T def. Lance Storm; WCW Title Match Jeff Jarrett def. Mike Awesome Kevin Nash & Sting def. The Steiner Brothers

He can be an acquired taste but I just use his because they are incredibly easy to dig up on his site and reference, and most people know who he is.

CRZ recaps of RVD's wins this week...have another posted in the Smackdown Review topic. WWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP: KANE v. ROB VAN DAM - Q: How can you tell the WWF stock price is at a 52-week low? A: Costs cut by using Kane's entrance in lieu of show opening pyro. WE ARE LIVE from the Arrowhead Pond of Anaheim, CA (also at WWF New York) 6.8.1 and no time to waste - this show is Transmitido en Espanol SAP on the National Network and the Sports Network. HEY HEY the champ enters SECOND! Van Dam scales the turnbuckles to hit the Pose - so Kane shoves him in the back, putting him over the ropes to the floor - I will NEVER get tired of people hitting van Dam in mid pose. Rob, meet the STEEL steps. Steps, meet Rob. Right hand from Kane. Into the barricade back first. Kane wants the powerbomb on the floor (!) but van Dam manages to land on his feet - still, he runs into the big boot and goes over the barrier. Kane over, van Dam back to the floor. Kane climbing to come back - van Dam manages a leg sweep to run Kane's jaw into the barricade. Right, onto the apron for a spinning guillotine legdrop that barely makes it, but does - 1, 2, no. Chef Boyardee is impressed enough to order a Double Feature. van Dam puts a chair in the ring - Kane is back up with a clothesline. Kane presses van Dam over the second rope and back into the ring. Kane with half a set of steps - tossed into the ring. Kane back in. Got the steps....but van Dam hits a drop toehold and Kane runs his own face into the steps. van Dam with the chair - dropkick to the chair, to Kane's face! Paging Boyardee, Chef Boyardee, your Double Feature is waiting. 1, 2, nope. Kick, kick, right, into the ropes is reversed, but Kane's head is down so van Dam kicks him. van Dam going for a side kick off the ropes but Kane catches the leg, gets him on the shoulder, and powerslams him down. Kane shoves the steps outside, and climbs up from the apron. There's the "flying" clothesline...for 2. Vertical suplex coming up - van Dam breaks free and kicks Kane in the nuts. Trying to swing the chair but Kane blocks it - double choke - van Dam put in the corner, meanwhile DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE has come out and HE has the chair. van Dam gets the boots up - springs to the top - Kane with the choke - Page with the chair in the back - and the chair to the head. Page places the chair on Kane for van Dam's Fivestar frog splash - well - 1, 2, 3. (4:00) Kane shakes it off, but not before Page has hightailed it through the crowd. Yes, van Dam just pinned Kane. CHRIS JERICHO (with Fozzy plug - and Foot Locker's House of Hoops presents SummerSlam) v. ROB VAN DAM referee: Hebner Ross tries to convince us that Fozzy is playing this Friday, but manages eventually to correct himself and give the correct date of Friday, 23 August. No ring announcers present, so no hometowns or weights for you (aka "I'm too lazy to paste in the last time they were announced"). Jericho doesn't wait; as soon as van Dam rolls underneath the bottom rope he gets to stompin'. Right, right, right, right, right, against the ropes, chop, right, head to the buckle, climbs to the second rope, right, right, right, into the ropes, reversed, Jericho ducks, van Dam back elbow, hiptoss, rolling into a monkey flip, backflip press gets 2. Kick by van Dam, forearm, into the ropes is reversed, van Dam catches the dropkick and gives Jericho the WOW Catapult over the top and outside! Here comes van Dam - somersault plancha allegedly connects! Kick to the head. Rolled back in - van Dam springs to the top - off the top but Jericho ducks the kick - van Dam lands on his feet but Jericho grabs him and gives him a German suplex! OH NO I THINK VAN DAM PISSED HIS TIGHTS!! Give that a Foot Locker Replay! Jericho stomps, kick, kick, death suplex. Jericho off the ropes and drops the elbow - another elbowdrop - a THIRD elbowdrop - making a lot of noise and the crowd responds. van Dam choked on the second rope. Off the ropes - Boss Man straddle! Jericho cups his ear to and fro and crowd boos in waves. Jericho starts to work on the turnbuckle cover - Hebner puts a stop to that, but ends up with his back to the action trying to refasten it - van Dam from behind with a schoolboy - Hebner late to the party - 1, 2, no! Jericho back up with a viscera - 1, 2, no!! Big "RVD" chant. Jericho still in control - van Dam tries a gutshot, but Jericho comes right back with a right hand of his own. Snapmares him over - then applies the standing surfboard. van Dam's not gonna give up to that. van Dam back to his feet - gutshot breaks the hold - forearm, forearm, into the ropes, Jericho hooks the ropes and van Dam misses the dropkick. Jericho tries the Lionsault - but van Dam puts up the knees!! Crowd comes alive as van Dam looks around - both men up slowly - Jericho runs into a superkick! Forearm, forearm, into the ropes is reversed, van Dam back to back over the top, catches Jericho's kick and unloads the stepover heel kick - van Dam off the ropes - Rolling Thunder! 1, 2, Jericho out! Man Hebner is doing his obvious hitch on the fake counts again - that's SOOOOOO distracting and annoying. van Dam stomps. Kick, into the ropes, Jericho slides under - leaps over the leg sweep - dropkicks van Dam! 1, 2, no! Jericho tries again - 1, 2, NO! Jericho calls Hebner a "son of a bitch" - he probably hates that "2-and-a-hitch" crap as well. Jericho chops! Chop! Chop! Into the opposite corner is reversed (van Dam almost trips and falls but catches himself) - shoulder to the gut, shoulder, superfluous backflip, goes for the third shoulder but Jericho counters (he shoulder stop doing backflips, I think) into a rollup...but instead of going for a cover, grabs both legs and tries to turn him into the Walls of Jericho! van Dam fights it, fights it, pulls down Jericho by the neck and rolls him up - 1, 2, NO!! Jericho's clothesline is ducked...but only by van Dam, NOT by Hebner! Down he goes like a ton of bricks. Jericho turns back and eats a spinning roundhouse kick. van Dam hooks the leg...but there's no ref! Jericho heads outside for a weapon. Ha ha, even with no ring announcer present, Jericho STILL shoves around timekeeper MARK YEATON to get to a chair! Jericho swings and van Dam ducks - van Dam tries for the van Daminator but Jericho ducks THAT - Jericho with the point of the chair into van Dam's gut! WHACK! Now here comes RIC FLAIR with a chair of his own - WHACK for Jericho! Flair back outside as van Dam scales the ropes - Fivestar frog splash HITS! Leg is hooked - 1, 2, 3! (7:50) Flair applauds with a smile on his face - strut - wooooo! Is he passing the torch? NO, silly! He already did that with Sid Vicious! Jericho is unhappy with Flair!

Wow. We all must have been REALLY into the novelty of the concept of Monday Night Raw to be riveted to the sets for THIS show. A true supercard indeed...here is an olllllld CRZ recap of the entire show...he didn't go into as much detail back then. WWF Monday Night Raw, shown 9.8.93 (but taped sometime in July) from the <something> Castle Recreation Center in Alexandria Bay, New York and broadcast on the USA Network. We open up with shots of the Lex Express at Commiskey Park. Ooooo. Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Bobby the Brain Heenan, and the Macho Man Randy Savage. The upcoming contract signing is hyped, as is the Tatanka/Hughes match, as well as a Bushwhackers and Macho Midget match. Hmmm... Tatanka v. Mr. Hughes - Hughes attacks from behind. Punches, then when Tatanka reverses, Hughes stands up while Tatanka tries to leapfrog. Yep, there's ANOTHER wreath at ringside. Hughes takes control with a barrage of punches. Tatanka tries a small package but only gets 2. Angered, Hughes pokes the eye. Hughes misses, and Tatanka slams for 2. The Native American runs into the clothesline. After missing two more clotheslines, Hughes resorts to pulling the hair, much to Vince's consternation. Hughes has his way with Tatanka, and we take an ad break. When we return, Tatanka is in a reverse chinlock. Hughes whips Tatanka to the buckle, but misses a followup splash, breaking his glasses. Tatanka Hulks up. Heenan says that without the shades, he knows who he is: Barry White. Tatanka, instead of covering, rushes Hughes, and Hughes takes him out of the ring. Hughes follows, and at 9, Tatanka stops taking punishment and bodyslams him, reentering the ring and winning by countount. Harvey Wippleman gets into the ring, distracting the Native American as well as referee "Blind" Tim White. Sure enough, there goes Hughes, waffling Tatanka with the urn. For an encore, he places the wreath on Tatanka's prone form. Promos: ICOPRO (Tatanka), GI Joe - Geez, only 12 minutes into the show. That's got to be some sort of record. Who Is Lex Luger? I'll avoid making any USFL jokes here. Since these things are repeated ad nauseum on the syndies, I'll sleep through it. The Bushwhackers & the Macho Midget v. The Brooklyn Brawler, Blake Beverly & Little Louie - I still have the Bushwhackers/Jackson vs. Beverlys/Louie matchup from the March to WrestleMania...it's the only match I've ever saved (which says something about the kind of fan I am). I guess I feel when you've done a match to perfection, you shouldn't go back to it. The Macho Midget, if you missed it, is Tiger Jackson with a bad makeup mask so he looks like Savage, except with a hell of a lot more hair. In case you aren't sure, he does the [extended] Tiger Jackson dance. Every comedy spot from the other matchup is here, but this match lacks a lot of Heenan's classic commentary, 'cause Savage has a lot to say about his Machito. Anyway, Beau Beverly is still not mentioned, and the Beverly Brothers are not mentioned for the second time. There you go, Beau is MIA. Believe me. Blake's been demoted to JttS. Oh yeah, the good guys win when Machito splashes Lombardi from the top rope. There are tons of suits in the ring, along with the commentators, because the Main Event contract for SummerSlam is about to be signed. Most people are surprised when Jim Cornette walks out with Mr. Fuji and Yokozuna. Fuji announces that Cornette has been hired as the American spokesperson for the Champion, what with the limited knowledge of English and all. Cornette insults Jack Tunney in front of him, always a good move. After perusing the contract, Cornette gives the thumbs-up. Vince does some hype and minutes later, out comes Luger (new theme is "Stars & Stripes Forever"). Amazingly, Yokozuna does the same act as the WrestleMania signing, not deviating his gaze from his opponent. Both men sign. Before they leave, Cornette mentions another clause he added to the contract: no rematch. Luger talks while Savage directs the crowd's applause. Sure enough, the Champion gets up, but no attack this time. Lex leads a "USA" chant, and Sousa fills the hall again. Sigh... rRazor rRamon v. Dan Dubiel - Ramon is supporting Lex Luger by wearing some real American wristbands. (Right.) But he's still doing the hairpulling... I dunno. Razor's Edge. Match with DiBiase at SummerSlam is hyped. Mean Gene Okerlund presents YOUR SummerSlam Report, brought to you by Chevrolet and tough Chevy trucks. Three weeks and counting in the Motor City (home of Repo Man). James E. Cornette has dramatically changed the <whatever> of the Main Event. Hart/Lawler. RIP Match. The greatest ever intercontinental title match. Pay per view might just be the ticket. We get a shot of Cornette and the Heavenly Bodies, and when we come back... The Heavenly Bodies v. Bobby Who and Mike Bucci - Cornette introduces his team, while the Fink protests. If the Heavenly Bodies managed to upset the Steiners, it would be the first time a WWF title has left the Federation, sayeth Vince. Man, I do love those Bobby Who jokes. Vince is impressed by the fact that the Bodies can squash two no-names with the best of them. Jimmy del Rey pins Bucci with a moonsault. After the posing, Cornette grabs the mic and repeats his challenge, calling the Steiner Brothers "phony champions." The Steiners do NOT show up. Promos: "New" WWF Figures, Jurassic Park Action Figures, "Spiderman 3" Game Boy cart. Oh, boy! The world premiere of "Speaking From the Heart," by Randy Savage, from the brand new smash "WrestleMania: The Album!" Run to K Mart and buy YOUR copy today! From those good folks at RCA Records. Hey, how comes when they sing "Macho Man," it sounds like "Maj O Man?" Or is it "Nigel Man?" Man, am I tired. Hacksaw vs. 'Zima and Steiners vs. Money, Limited are featured matches on this year's SummerSlam Spectacular, Sunday, 22 August. Hacksaw and Yokozuna is NOT a title match, so I guess Duggan will win or something.

HHH and Taker both deserve to hold people down, they jobbed to CHYNA!!!! CRZ recap: THAT SLUT CHYNA v. TRIPLE H v. UNDERTAKER (with Paul Bearer) in a #1 Contender's match - Ross tries the cement block attack story again for Austin and Ventura thinks maybe he just had one beer too many and fell down the stairs himself. I bet THAT made Austin happy to hear! Undertaker shoves Chyna away by the face and Triple H is all over Undertaker - we're already 90 seconds into overtime. Undertaker and Triple H brawl in the corner while Chyna watches - then when she's ready to try for Undertaker, he grabs her in a double choke - Chyna to the eyes to break it and he drops her - she's on the top turnbuckle, but Undertaker hits a right cross that takes her over the top and to the floor. Triple H back on Undertaker, but Undertaker takes him out of the ring with a clothesline. Chef Boyardee brings us the double feature. Out on the ramp, Undertaker brings Helmsley to the STEEL steps. Uppercut from Undertaker onto Helmsley. Back elbow. H fires back with rights. Undertaker takes him back down with a right. Scoop...and he tries to ram his shoulder into the post but H shakes free and runs Undertaker into the post instead. Gutshot, facecrusher. Cover - 1, 2, no. Falls count anywhere, you see. Helmsley raining down rights upon him. Undertaker's head to the STEEL steps. Right. Right. Undertaker thrown back in the ring - Helmsley to the top - off the top, but caught in a choke - but before he can chokeslam H, Chyna is FINALLY back in with the chop block. And now the doubleteam is on. Stomping away. There's a handshake - and Chyna turns on Helmsley with a clothesline - and there's a Golota! Chyna turns around and Undertaker is there - chokeslam!! Well, more of a gentle drop from the chokeslam position - oh well. Helmsley with the knee on the Undertaker - then he covers CHYNA - 1, 2, Undertaker pulls him off. Rights traded bewteen Undertaker and Triple H - getting slower each time they exchange. Elbow from Undertaker. Cover for 2. Undertaker with a right. Back elbow, again, kick, right hand, Triple H out on his feet. Undertaker making a move on Michaels 'cause he's EVIL - backstage, we see that Austin's back and he's got a STEEL chair! We're all just waiting for the music as we see Triple H clotheslined over the top rope to join Chyna outside the ring and now Michaels and Undertaker are having a chat in the ring. STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN *is* out with a chair - WHACK! on Helmsley. Then he pulls Chyna on top of Triple H - holy shit - Michaels makes the count on the floor - 1...2...3...! (6:51)

Ummm not really...CRZ recap: MARVELOUS MARC MERO (with Jacqueline and a Big Ass trophy - oops, poor choice of words) v. GOLGA (with Sable and box of Cheesy Poofs) - Let Us Take You Back to last week where Jacqueline is announced the winner of the bikini contest via a disqualification, thus securing the trophy. "What do you think? Does she look marvelous?" Why, yes, she does. You read right, that's Sable with Golga. Ross asks what happened to the Jackyl and I have to wonder the same thing. "Marc, oh Marc, I brought a present for you, and Jacqueline, I've got a really big surprise for you too. In the past,, we may have been enemies, but now we have a mutual understanding...gentleman, if you will..." And a thousand strings fire up - and here's KURRGAN and GIANT SILVA, in tuxedos. Kurrgan sings "There She Is, Miss America." No, I am NOT making this up. Apparently, "Miss America" is PRINCESS LUNA TUNES, out in robe and bouquet. I guess Luna is the "enemy" Sable was referring to. That's nice of her to try to invoke continuity when we weren't looking - actually, more people should do that, so that's not sarcasm. Hey, if Golga wears a South Park shirt, does that make him a face? Come to think of it, if Sable is your valet, does that make you a face? If you think this is a good time for an ad break, why, you're right. The SummerSlam Countdown is up to number FOUR! Sable is at the commentary table. "Once you get to know them, they're really very very nice people...." Mero has his way with Golga until Golga decides to just absorb everything. Mero is unsuccessful in a slam attempt, but Golga isn't. Elbow drop for 2. Mero returns to the fists, kicks, elbows, and a lariat from the second rope does take down Golga. Sable says we shouldn't judge people by their outward appearances - a lesson for Mero, apparently. Jacqueline tries to trip up Golga, so Luna waffles her with the bouquet. Now a catfight is teased, which means that referee "Blind" Mike Ciota has to get between the ladies (you go, Mike) - this also means that Mero hits a Golotta, but it doesn't matter as Silva hits a GIANT chokeslam. Golga does his Earthquake impression with a BUTT drop and Mero is pinned (3:11). Some Insane Clown Posse is played - and ROSS pegs it. I didn't know he was aware when it came to music like that. Dammit, where's Jackyl? On the plus side, we get to see Kurrgan dance. You know, I have a sneaky suspicion that maybe, JUST MAYBE, Mr. McMahon has something to do with all this...

Hey, this match is the match that set the various feuds into motion that would eventually become the SmackDown 6 era. The animosity between Kurt and Chris over who's the best, Eddie and Chris's dissention, and the first teaming of Rey and Edge, and I believe the first time Angle and Rey fought. Historic. CRZ recap: EDGE (Toronto, Ontario - 241 pounds) and JOHN CENA (West Newbury, Massachusetts - 249 pounds) and REY MYSTERIO (San Diego, California - 175 pounds) v. KURT ANGLE (Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania - 237 pounds) and EDDIE GUERRERO & CHRIS BENOIT (Intercontinental champion) (564 pounds - with Let Us Take You Back to Last Thursday) referee: BRIAN HEBNER Cole remarks that Rock hasn't tapped "since his rookie year." Whoa, continuity RULES! even if I can't remember offhand who he must have tapped to (Shamrock?) Well I'll have some time to check because before this match begins we take the ubiquitous AD BREAK During the break, I found submissions to both Shamrock AND Mankind, so there you go. A station ID may have stepped on the return, I don't know - I see Angle just after a hairpull takedown on Edge and Cole says we're just starting, so...I dunno? Angle right, right, right, kick, kick, stomp, standing on the neck. Bring on the onsale crawl! Chop. Chop. Right. Into the ropes, reversed, Edge with a belly-to-belly overhead suplex. Edge chops, Angle with a knee, and tag to Benoit. Benoit runs into the flapjack. Tag to Mysterio. Right, right, right, whip is reversed, Benoit presses him up and lets him drop. Knee in the gut, pulled into another knee in the gut, into the ropes, and Benoit buries one more knee. Put into the corner...boots up by Mysterio - elbow. Climbs up the corner, but Benoit is behind with three forearms in the back. Mysterio on the shoulders but he does a 180 and takes down Benoit with a Frankensteiner! Mysterio ducks a clothesline, but off the ropes Angle gets in a free shot - Mysterio turns to face him and Benoit takes HIM down with a forearm. Guerrero getes the tag. Forearm, forearm in the back, forearm, forearm, arm wringer...Mysterio is screaming. Elbow to the elbow, again, takes the arm wringer to put Mysterio on his back. Pulled back up, elbow to the elbow once again, shoves him away - Mysterio punches back, right, right, runs to the corner, leaps and hits the head scissors takeover! Tag to Cena - Guerrero ducks the swing, right, right, Cena right, Guerrero, Cena, Guerrero, Cena, Cena, Cena, into the ropes, big hiplock takeover, cover, 1, 2, no. Wants a suplex but Guerrero goes down the back, standing switch, Cena with a death suplex - 1, 2, Angle breaks it up - this brings in Edge and now Edge and Angle are outside - while Hebner keeps Mysterio out, Benoit joins Guerrero in a doubleteam on Cena. Guerrero with a right when Hebner turns around, and Benoit gets the tag - big open kick. Forearm. Into the corner and Cena hits hard. Stomp. Snap suplex. Hooks the leg...and gets 2. Cena reaches - Benoit stomps. Dragged back to his corner with a head to the buckle - and tag to Angle while Guerrero holds him - right, right, right, right, pulled into a short clothesline. Just like in the first match, Angle goes to the headlock. Cena has nowhere to go but to the mat. Crowd comes alive...and Cena starts to make it back to his feet - elbow, elbow, right, right, right, off the ropes...but Angle catches him and gives him the Alabama slam! 1, 2, Edge has to break it up! Tag to Guerrero, scoop...and a slam, and Guerrero is in with his slingshot senton - 1, 2, no! Right, elbow, kick, stomp, stomp, stomp, standing on the neck...for 4. "Eddie sucks!" chant. Stomp. Guerrero spits at Mysterio, which brings him in...Cena snapmared into the unfriendly corner and Guerrero adds a stomp'n'spin. Tag to Benoit. Open shot by Benoit. They put Cena into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Benoit with the death suplex as Guerrero heads back to his corner. Benoit puts him in the corner - but Cena manages to throw the elbow as Benoit comes in...but Benoit retakes control as Cena charges - drop toe hold - then Benoit leaps forward to drive a forearm into the back of Cena's head! Benoit giving Cena the bad mouth and the big forearm. Head to the buckle, chop, chop. Cena tries to fight his way out of the corner, getting a back elbow in on Guerrero before Angle puts him back down again. Tag to Guerrero - right hand to the back of the head - now drops down and grabs a front headlock. Cena brought up - but put down quickly with a death suplex. Guerrero is feeling froggy...but Mysterio heads him off on his way up the ropes! Guerrero eventually kicks him off but Cena's had just enough time to get to his feet - over to Guerrero, right hand, second rope - SUPERPLEX!! Everybody's down and Hebner starts the count. Edge wants the tag in the worst way! Hebner to six as Guerrero tags Benoit - HOT TAG TO EDGE! Angle in first (I guess HIS tag was actually seen by Hebner) and Edge clotheslines him down - Benoit gets a free shot on the apron - flying forearm for Angle - back body drop for Guerrero - gutshot for Benoit, into the corner, shoulder to the gut, spear for Guerrero...Angle tries to sneak under with the Olympic Slam but Edge shakes it - ducks a clothesline - off the ropes - SPEAR! But Benoit is up from behind with a German suplex on Edge! Mysterio in - ducks Benoit's swing - body scissors on Benoit - into a bulldog! Guerrero gutshot on Mysterio - BRAINBUSTER!! Cena on Guerrero with a Protobomb! Angle with the Olympic Slam on Cena! Cena rolls out and Angle moves to the ropes to taunt him - unfortunately leaving him in perfect position to eat Mysterio's 619! Mysterio with the springboard to the Frankensteiner - covers - 1, 2, 3! (we saw 10:03) Commentators tell us that that's called the "West Coast Pop" (I think), and Tazz suddenly realises Mysterio was NOT the legal man. I'd say "I love Tazz" but the only time they mention stuff like this is if it's part of an angle...

CRZ recap: WWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP: KING EDGE (without trophy - but with Let Us Take You Back to RAW) v. ROB VAN DAM - Did you know that van Dam isn't contractually obligated to do the job until AT LEAST August, 2003? Why would I make that up? Lockup, side headlock by Edge, van Dam powers out, shoulderblock by Edge off the ropes. van Dam does the splits to let Edge go up and over - van Dam wants a rollup, but Edge grabs the wheelbarrow and drops van Dam face first to the mat. van Dam manages to pull Edge through the ropes to the floor - and lands a pescado on him for 2. Kick, whip into the barricade is reversed...Edge charges but gets dumped over the barricade to the floor. van Dam on the barricade - somersault senton!! Tazz says "beautiful hilo," so maybe it was a hilo. Cover on the floor - 1, 2, Edge kicks out. van Dam stays in control - elbow to the mush - over the barricade and back to the floor. van Dam leaping onto the barricade - Edge crotches him, though. Edge under the ring - found a ladder. Ladder into the chest! Edge sets the ladder against the far post, goes after van Dam...but he lands an elbow, and a legsweep. WOW Catapult into the ladder, and Edge hits hard. 1, 2, Edge kicks out. Edge rolled back in - van Dam grabs the ladder and shoves it into the ring. van Dam on the apron and the ladder is on the second rope - Edge leaps from the corner to seesaw the ladder into van Dam - sorta. Edge out - 1, 2, no. The Double Feature doesn't make that semi-blown spot look any better, but A for effort. Edge rolls van Dam back in - and follows. Right, right, LANCE STORM is out, right, into the ropes is reversed, van Dam going for a splits leapfrog but Edge catches him and delivers an atomic drop. Edge off the ropes - but Storm lowers the bridge, sending him to the floor. Whip into the barricade...is reversed! Edge with a clothesline for Storm, knocking him down. Edge back in - van Dam tries a grab, but Edge slides in under the legs...grabs the waistlock, but van Dam manages a back kick in the vicinity of the face (not really). Edge ducks the clothesline and manages a release German suplex. Both men are down...and Storm's back up. Looks like he's ready to try the superkick...but Edge is ready, meeting Storm with a Viscera kick! Clothesline for van Dam - Edge-o-matic for Storm! But van Dam hits a sweet dropkick. Under the ring, finding a second chair (Storm had put one in the ring earlier, but nobody's used it). Stomp for Edge, chair set in the centre. Stomp - whip, no reversal, no, van Dam reversed back into the corner. Edge runs to the chair, vaults off of it and connects with a SPEAR onto Storm! (So what was van Dam gonna do with the chair but set up a spot for Edge? Or am I *thinking?*) Edge runs with a clothesline for van Dam. Gutshot for Storm, going for the big ol' DDT but van Dam stops that attempt with a spin kick. Now Storm and van Dam each have a chair...it's a CONCHAIRTO! That'll do it - 1, 2, 3. (5:21) Storm takes advantage of a fallen Edge to tell him a few things about a few things.

CRZ recaps of those matches: PSYCHOSIS v. DISCO INFERNO (with crazy moire pattern shirt) - whoops, I guess I'm wrong. "I know everybody wants to see me dance, but I have a special ring introduction. This man is one of the hottest young dancers in wrestling today, like myself. [Alex Wright's theme starts] This man is one of the best tag team partners anybody can have, like myself. So here he is, baby!" And out comes TOKYO MAGNUM. Apparently on a previous edition of Saturday Night, Magnum teamed with Disco, and we're all wondering where Alex Wright went - well, no we aren't, but that's the idea. Before this match goes anywhere, SCOTT NORTON comes out and powerbombs both combatants (no contest :22) - then grabs a mic. "I guess you're probably wondering what's going on. Well since I didn't have a match tonight, I made my own. If anybody, and I mean ANYBODY, in the WCW wants a piece of me, bring it on! You see I don't care, and I ain't scared." "Goldberg" chant fires up, but instead we get Goldberg victim #1, HUGH MORRUS, against the protests of Jimmy Hart. It only takes five seconds for Morrus to get HIS powerbomb. BRIAN ADAMS (with Vincenzo) v. HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN (with his 2x4 and his American flag) - Say what you want about Duggan, he STILL has that truckload of charisma that will get that "USA" chant going and going loud. What do these two wrestlers have in common? They were both involved in KILLER angles involving each of them getting utterly demolished at the hands of Yokozuna. If you're wondering why I stop bombarding you with trivia and simply reporting on the match, well, that's because this match is BORING and there's about five moves and I feel like demonstrating my incredible ability to dredge up memories of old WWF shows in the hopes of impressing the fine folks who come this way. Let's go to the end where it finally gets interesting. After Duggan's three point stance clothesline, Vincent comes off the top turnbuckle with the 2x4 but misses - Duggan gets the 2x4 and whacks Vincent, but Adams attacks from behind, hits a NASTY piledriver and gets the pin (3:11) and all is right with the world. Tune in next week when Duggan will be back to fighting Meng for the 40th time. No kidding, I found an old Nitro from October 1995 and Duggan was fighting Meng on THAT episode, too. The MasterLock Lock of the Night is a series of replays we didn't really need to see. Say, how many times CAN Tony say "I really don't know what's going on" during a match? 2 CONTENDER LIZMARK, JR. v. STEVIE RAY for (maybe) the WCW World Television Title - Gene stops Stevie Ray in his tracks asking him what's the deal with the belt and all that. Stevie Ray provides some documents but Okerlund visibly doubts their veracity (go look it up). Funny line from Tony: "You can't fool us!" Just before the inevitable Slapjack finisher, PSYCHO CHAVO WEIRDO KLEPTO comes out wearing Stevie's Harlem Heat gloves and brandishing Stevie's notary stamp - Tony calls him "Psycho Chavo" and I think he stole that from me. Hey, Tony, if you're reading this, how about calling the damn match once in a while! Of course, I haven't done that this week either so I'm just a big hypocrite. Never mind, Tone. Oh, Lizmark Jr. wins by countout after Stevie chases after Chavo. Good for him. (3:09)

CRZ (slashwrestling.com) recap: KING BROCK LESNAR (Minneapolis, Minnesota - 295 pounds - with Paul Heyman - and Foot Locker House of Hoops presents SummerSlam, 25 August!) v. HOLLYWOOD HULK HOGAN (Hollywood, California - 285 pounds referee: Hebner Well, he stand up next to a mountain - he chop it down with the edge of his hand. Staredown in the centre...Lesnar elects to leave the ring so Hogan can cup his ear to all four sides of the arena. Or is he showing fear? Or does he anticipate...an ad break? When we come back, the bell has JUST rung. Crowd is loud as we again move to the staredown in the centre of the ring. Lesnar fails to say "you will die." Hogan takes steps back and thoughtfully strokes his naturally-coloured beard. "Hogan" chant gets bigger as Hogan turns his head to and fro. Finally, they lock up - but that ends with stalemate. Whoa, Cole said "stalemate!" Lockup...Lesnar shoves Hogan away! Lesnar grins and goes back to his happy dance as Hogan collects his own thoughts. We're now two minutes in. Lockup - no, Lesnar shoots under and puts a forearm in the back. Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp stomp. Scoop...and a slam! Lesnar is confident - but Hogan pops up! Lesnar turns back - Hogan right - right - right - right - right - right, chop, right, chop, right, right, right, into the opposite corner, reversed...nobody home on the charge! Hogan with a lariat! 1, kicked out at 2. Hogan drops the elbow. Another elbowdrop. Hogan eschews a third elbowdrop in favour of raking his boot across Lesnar's face. Off the ropes and a running headstart on the clothesline - and Lesnar is over to the outside! Lesnar makes a funny face while the crowd chants "Hogan" and Hebner fails to count to ten. We're now FOUR minutes in. The pace is deliberate, yes, but a story *is* developing here. Hogan decides to go out after Lesnar when he fails to make a move towards the ring. Heyman on the apron and Hebner turns his attention that way - Lesnar grabs Hogan's legs and makes a wish using the ringpost - twice! Having taken the shortcut, Lesnar's smile returns. Lesnar back in the ring - stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp. Hogan pulled to the centre - off the ropes with an elbowdrop - off the ropes with a second elbowdrop, and there's a third elbowdrop. Lesnar helps Hogan up - Irish whip into the corner - Lesnar puts his shoulder into the gut. Shoulder, shoulder, shoulder. Forearm in the back. Lesnar eggs on the crowd. Stomp, stomp. Again, Lesnar eggs on the crowd, while Heyman tries to keep Lesnar on track to finish the match. Stomp. Lesnar brings up Hogan...then tosses him through the ropes out to the floor. Lesnar out after him - clubbing forearm in the back. Lesnar removes the commentary table top and does a little redecorating...but in the meantime, Hogan is up. Hogan with the rake of the face! Right hand - whip into the ringpost! Lesnar rolls into the ring, Hogan meets him - right hand in the corner, climbs to the second rope - Ten Punch Count Along only gets to five before Lesnar powerbombs him out of the corner! Heyman screams for him to make the cover - too slow - 1, 2, no! We take the Foot Locker Replay but already Hogan is showing signs of the second wind. Right hand no, right hand no, right hand, starting to jackhammer, right hand to his feet, forearm, no, forearm, no, forearm, YOU! Hogan wags his finger quite a bit - block, right, right, right, into the ropes, big boot, calling to the crowd - but Lesnar is up before Hogan can even hit the ropes - Lesnar with a gutshot - up on the shoulders but Hogan is out of the F-5 attempt! Right, right, right, into the ropes, big boot, free shot for Heyman on the apron, off the ropes with the big leg - 1, 2, LESNAR KICKS OUT!!! Hogan can't believe it, but continues to jackhammer and gets right back on him - Lesnar begs off! Right hand, right, right, right, right, into the ropes, big boot! Off the ropes, but Heyman grabs the ankle! Hogan brings Heyman onto the apron...but Lesnar is there, forearm to Hogan in the back. Up on the shoulder - and there's the Key on My Keyboard! Lesnar doesn't cover, though - he looks to the crowd instead. Heyman again screams for Lesnar to make the cover...but instead, Lesnar lifts up Hogan and applies the bearhug. Crowd is loud...ew, Hogan is "bleeding internally" with the red stuff coming out of his mouth. Arm falls once - arm falls twice - holy crap! ARM FALLS THRICE! (10:03) Lesnar doesn't really feel like letting it go. Heyman hits the ring and Lesnar finally *does* let go of the bearhug. Lesnar shoves Hebner out of the ring and surveys the damage. Finally, Heyman and Lesnar leave the ring and head up the ramp...wait. As the crowd chants "Rock E" (but we've already been told he's in Australia), Lesnar heads back down the ramp, around the ring..and picks up a chair. Hebner is easily chased out of the ring...Lesnar dares Hogan to get up, while Heyman yells "Brock! You're gonna KILL 'im!" Hogan up - WHACK! Well he's back down. Heyman shouts "No more - no more!" as Lesnar stands over Hogan with a smile on his face. You can add a bladejob to Hogan's red drool job - well, maybe - maybe they just covered him in syrup through the magic of editing as well. Brock goes down there AGAIN, grabbing Hogan's head and giving him what for. Lesnar rubs Hogan's blood on his chest! Credits are up and I guess we won't get to see if he wrote "DIE" or not, 'cause this show is OVER!

Yes someone who enjoys booking old WWE/WWF angles and see how the rate on EWR! Did you download a scenerio to get accurate rosters or did you create it yourself? I've been wanting to re-sim the Invasion angle and see if it bombs on EWR.

August 5, 1998 The Giant def. Lizmark Jr. Psicosis def. Juventud Guerrera Meng NC Jim Duggan Steve McMichael def. Stevie Ray by count out Saturn def. Scotty Riggs & Sick Boy in a handicap match Eddy Guerrero def. Disco Inferno Sting, Lex Luger, & Konnan def. Scott Hall, Curt Hennig, & Brian Adams August 5, 1999 Prince Iaukea NC Chris Adams Buff Bagwell def. Scotty Riggs Eddy Guerrero NC Kidman Brad Armstrong & Swoll def. Lenny Lane & Lodi Booker T def. Bam Bam Bigelow by DQ Diamond Dallas Page def. Chris Benoit Goldberg def. Rocco Rock August 9, 2000 Kronik def. The Perfect Event and Mark Jindrak & Sean O’Haire (pinned) in a three-way match for the Tag Titles Elix Skipper def. Crowbar Tank Abbott & 3 Count def. The Misfits in Action Norman Smiley def. Mike Sanders Lance Storm def. Mike Awesome in a Flag Match David Flair & Miss Hancock def. Sgt. AWOL & Maj. Gunns in a Tables Match Billy Kidman def Reno by DQ Buff Bagwell & Mean Gene Okerlund def. Kanyon & Mark Madden The Cat & Sting def. Vampiro & The Great Muta

Well if Clarett is kicked off the team and declared ineligible he won't even be in the regular draft he'll be in the sumplemental draft. Oh and along with the usual suspects I'll throw out Jacksonville as a possibility.

Ebert is the horniest critic out there. Put a hot chick on film for him and he'll give a semi-positive review no matter how bad it is. But hey I hope it bombs too and her career bombs so bad from now on she'll need to revive it by posing in Playboy.

I agree 100%. Its too long, I mean why in the world do you need as many as five games to get your team ready? The only time it ever really means anything is when a star player goes down to injury. Over the years I just would absolutlely cringe everytime I'd see Joe Montana, Steve Young, and now Jeff Garcia take a big hit in a meaningless preseason game. Seriously is there any reason to play any preseason game on astroturf? The worst thing of all about preseason are people actually analyzing and trying to put some meaning into preseason. Oh no my playoff team lost 31-7...SEASON IS OVER!!! Hey my 1-15 team from last year won 27-13 against a playoff team...WE'RE WINNING IT ALL BABY!!!

Uhhh this is a joke right? The only Western playoff team that won't be returning to the playoffs next year is Utah and their spot will be taken by Houston. Also Golden State 13th? Are you on crack? Hell I don't even know about the Nuggets being dead last in the West.

Boone is in his last year of his contract...because its a one year contract and he's not eligible for free agency until after next year. I agree on Suppan as he's the annual overrated, mediocre pitcher that gets traded every trade deadline.

There is an outside chance a trade will leak out that was finalized a minute before the deadline. The after next Tuesday there will waiver deals where someone like Juan Gonzalez might go.

Furcal is not going to be a free agent and I'm not sure he'll even be arbitration eligible. He is on a one-year contract which is why I'm guessing bravesfan thinks he's a free agent but that is normal for players who are not eligible for free agency to only have a one-year deal.

Uhhh not really...Schoweneis (sp?) was expendable and Appier was a huge contract that couldn't stay healthy. Angels will be fine next year if they actually stay healthy but this year is pretty much over for them. Its not like Anderson or Glaus is on the market.