Bored

Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri vs. Team Angle, Tag Title Match Chris Benoit vs. Sean O'Haire Spanky & Rikishi vs. The Basham Brothers (Doug & Danny) Brock Lesnar & Undertaker vs. F.B.I. in a handicap match

Edit: zzzzzzzz

Don't worry Bob it's just a force of habit for Smarks to criticize names they don't recognize. I've heard of Basham and don't even like Spanky to this point so doesn't matter to me but I'm guessing with the Benoit job people will be pissed.

Edit: blah

Edit: nothing to see here.

Edit: full spoilers in first post.

credit: lordsofpain.net (SPOILERS) WWE Smackdown Taping Results from Pensacola, Florida No dark matches and Velocity tapings tonight as I was having some satellite technical difficulties at the time. Hopefully someone who attended can email a report of that. Smackdown starts with Sable coming to the ring. She introduces the participants for the very first match and sits at ringside to watch. Nidia w/ Jamie Noble beat Torrie Wilson with a rollup holding the tights. After the match Torrie pantsed Nidia. Vince arrives to the arena in a limo. -commercial- Backstage, the lie detector testers are testing the equipment on Stephanie. Backstage, Team Angle walk to the ring for their match. Backstage, Eddie Guerrero and Tajiri prepare for their match. Tajiri presents Eddie with a set of car keys that he stole from someone. -commercial- Eddie and Tajiri drive a lowrider truck to the ring. WWE Tag Team Champonship Tajiri and Eddie Guerrero beat Team Angle by DQ. Backstage, Mr. America sits in his locker room worrying about the lie detector test. -commercial- Vince McMahon comes to the ring for the lie detector test. Vince says he still has that smile on his face. Vince welcomes us to a very special edition of Smackdown. Why is it so special? Because it will be the last show we will see any form of Hulk Hogan in the ring. Vince says once the test is done Mr. America's contract will be null and void. Vince sees Zach Gowen sitting at ringside. Vince says after the test tonight neither Hogan or Zach will have a leg to stand on. Vince introduces Mr. America. Mr. America comes to the ring and he sits at the table in the ring and gets hooked up with all the lie detector equipment. Vince tells Hogan he is not singling him out because he has all his corporate employees go through the same thing. Because if there is one thing Vince can not stand it is a liar. The interogation begins. Are you the man known as Mr. America? Yes. Are you currently sitting in a wrestling ring in Pensacola, Florida? Yes. Are you currently employed on Smackdown? Yes. Are you Hulk Hogan? *long pause* Can I please have a drink of water? Vince asks the question this time. Mr. America, are you Hulk Hogan? No. The tester says he is telling the truth. Vince wants the question asked again. Are you Hulk Hogan? No. The tester says he is telling the truth. Mr. America is asked the same question 4 more times with the same answer. The tester says Mr. America has passed the lie detector test. Vince says Mr. America is lying through his teeth. If Hogan can pass the test then Vince himself can pass it. Vince wants the equipment put on him. The interogation on Vince begins. Are you Vince McMahon? Yes. Are you the chairman of WWE? Yes. Hogan wants to ask a question. Are you the biggest asshole on God's green earth? No. The tester buzzes wrong. Are you a sick, perverted, power hungry freak? No. The tester buzzes wrong. Vince says he is a respected business man. The tester buzzes wrong. Vince can hardly talk without the tester buzzing wrong. So finally Vince says what he does he does for only himself. The tester buzzes correct. Hogan asks if Vince pleasures himself by looking at pictures of Torrie's Playboy? No. The tester buzzes wrong. Vince says atleast he doesn't fantasize about Mae Young. The tester buzzes wrong. Vince says he hates Hogan. The tester buzzes correct. Mr. America calls Vince a liar and knocks him on his ass. Hogan leaves. -commercial- Backstage, Vince asks Stephanie if she just saw what happened. Vince says Stephanie was the one responsible for hiring the lie detectors, to make sure the equipment worked properly, and she was the one who hired Mr. America. Stephanie says if Vince doesn't believe her she will take a lie detector test. Vince says next week things are going to change for the better. Vince walks off calling Stephanie a smart ass. Sean O'Haire w/ Roddy Piper beat Chris Benoit. Piper had entered the ring and Benoit put him in the crossface. O'Haire kicked Benoit in the back and rolled him up holding the tights for the pin. Backstage, The FBI are shown lifting weights and talking about their 2 on 3 handicap match tonight with Undertaker and Brock Lesnar. The conversation ensenuates that not only will they be using weapons in their match tonight but something much bigger. -commercial- A caption says that Rey Mysterio will take on Matt Hardy next week on Smackdown for the cruiserweight championship. Backstage, Rey Mysterio does a self interview talking about pulling his groin last week and how he will beat Matt Hardy next week in Anaheim on Smackdown. Matt Hardy walks up and says he will destroy Mysterio next week. Mysterio falls to the ground in pain after getting kicked on his injured leg by Matt. -commercial- An Ultimo Dragon vignette is shown with the caption saying "COMING SOON". Basham Brothers (Doug & Danny) beat Spanky and Rikishi when one of the brothers pinned Spanky and had his brother holding his feet on the ropes. After the match the hometown hero and Spanky put on top hats and dance for the crowd. Out in the parking lot Vince's limo is getting towed away for being parked in the handicap zone. Vince gets in the limo anyways and tells the tow truck driver to tow him to the airport. Zach Gowen walks up and knocks on the window and tells Vince it is illegal to park in a handicap spot. As the limo is towed away Vince is heard screaming to stop because he wants to get out and kick Zach's ass. -commercial- The FBI comes out Nunzio gets on the mic and reminds everyone via video how Undertaker tried to end his career last week. Nunzio says he can not wrestle tonight as he may have some broken ribs. Nunzio says the handicap match will remain the same as he has found a suitable replacement. Cue up Big Show's music. 2 on 3 Handicap Match The FBI and Big Show beat Brock Lesnar and The Undertaker via Big Show's sloppy chokeslam on Lesnar. After Smackdown went off the air Undertaker grabbed a mic. Undertaker said they got their ass kicked but it's only one night. Undertaker says he did not come down to Pcola without having a good time. Undertaker invites a good friend of his who works ringside for WWE, Frank, to come into the ring because it is his birthday. Undertaker wants someone else to come into the ring as well. Undertaker calls out one of Pcola's finest residents - Rikishi. Rikishi gets on the mic and wants Pcola to show Frank what kind of hospitality they have by singing happy birthday to him. Everyone in the arena sings happy Birthday to Frank. Brock Lesnar brings a birthday cake into the ring and makes Frank guess what flavor it is. Lesnar shoves the cake in Frank's face. Frank falls down in the corner where Rikishi gives him a birthday cake stinkface.

And what's funny about that is the Tigers and Padres met in the '84 World Series.

What's so bad about Giambi? Sure, he's having a bad year, but he's been outstanding the last four years, and he's easily the most recognizable first baseman in the league. I wouldn't vote for him, but his winning wouldn't offend me the way David Bell almost did. So because he's the most recognizable he deserves to start? Ooookaaaay. This is why fan voting should be abolished.

The first A.L. voting results are out (N.L. tommorrow). Unfortunently Giambi is leading at 1st but Delgado is close so I suggest everyone vote for Delgado as he has by far the best numbers of any A.L. first baseman. First Base Player Team Total Votes Giambi, Ja. Yankees 143,115 Delgado, C. Blue Jays 115,983 Palmeiro, R. Rangers 86,782 Sweeney, M. Royals 80,344 Olerud, J. Mariners 60,447 Second Base Player Team Total Votes Soriano, A. Yankees 293,558 Boone, B. Mariners 121,061 Kennedy, A. Angels 46,980 Walker, T. Red Sox 43,885 Febles, C. Royals 23,267 Third Base Player Team Total Votes Glaus, T. Angels 107,273 Chavez, E. Athletics 105,457 Hillenbrand, S. Red Sox 93,299 Ventura, R. Yankees 92,462 Blalock, H. Rangers 58,620 Shortstop Player Team Total Votes Rodriguez, A. Rangers 240,028 Garciaparra, N. Red Sox 113,555 Jeter, D. Yankees 83,171 Tejada, M. Athletics 44,952 Eckstein, D. Angels 43,493 Catcher Player Team Total Votes Posada, J. Yankees 218,283 Varitek, J. Red Sox 71,196 Alomar, S. White Sox 56,165 Pierzynski, A.J. Twins 51,942 Molina, B. Angels 49,727 Designated Hitter Player Team Total Votes Martinez, E. Mariners 144,458 Everett, C. Rangers 102,403 Johnson, N. Yankees 65,980 Thomas, F. White Sox 56,025 Fullmer, B. Angels 54,083 Outfield Player Team Total Votes Suzuki, I. Mariners 183,151 Ramirez, M. Red Sox 165,877 Williams, B. Yankees 144,377 Gonzalez, J. Rangers 117,200 Matsui, H. Yankees 109,408 Hunter, T. Twins 107,003 Anderson, G. Angels 98,184 Mondesi, R. Yankees 97,004 Salmon, T. Angels 69,557 Ordonez, M. White Sox 62,936 Cameron, M. Mariners 61,978 Erstad, D. Angels 61,970 Damon, J. Red Sox 56,367 Baldelli, R. Devil Rays 56,127 Beltran, C. Royals 45,648

Actually I picked 7...yikes...no I don't because you also have to remember the starters aspect of it where the likes of Giambi and Matsui might be voted as starters and take away someone's spot. Obviously A-Rod will be voted as a starter and Palmeiro might as well. After that Carl Everett has numbers that you couldn't pass up at this point but if he slumps a little he'll probably get snubbed because of his past. Gonzalez is some what borderline at this point and Young was the last player I put on the team because I didn't want more than seven outfielders. Blalock has to be a lock at this point although I think Glaus will be voted the starter and Urbina is also in good shape right now as the A.L. is pretty weak on closers this year. I believe the first voting update will be out today or tommorrow so maybe next week I'll just pick reserves and go with the current vote leaders as starters.

The Padres also have the injury excuse with Phil Nevin out for the year and Trevor Hoffman out till after the All-Star break.

Hmmm interesting because there had been all that talk about making SummerSlam the big stadium/dome show for the year with Wrestlemania XX already scheduled for MSG. Guess they don't have confidence in being able to get 40,000+ for it.

No shit...*looks at Trivia247's birthdate*...we're both above the average. Even then its not a very good excuse if your over the age 16. Oh and also no one has ever heard of ScoopThis! apparantly.

Confirms what? You people do know this is a joke and wasn't written by Bradshaw, right? RIGHT?

Bleh, I've read funnier.

So, so very Bored...might as well do a weekly update of my All-Star rosters. Players with an * next to their name were not on the roster last week. Picking the N.L. this week was a pain in the ass because of the one player per team rule so I had to snub a lot of good players. AMERICAN LEAGUE C: Jorge Posada, New York; A.J. Piersynski*, Minnesota 1B: Carlos Delgado, Toronto; Rafael Palmeiro, Texas; Mike Sweeney, Kansas City 2B: Alfonso Soriano, New York; Bret Boone, Seattle; Michael Young*, Texas 3B: Hank Blalock, Texas; Troy Glaus, Anaheim SS: Alex Rodriguez, Texas; Nomar Garciaparra, Boston OF: Carl Everett, Texas; Aubrey Huff, Tampa Bay; Vernon Wells, Toronto; Juan Gonzalez, Texas; Melvin Mora*, Baltimore; Garrett Anderson, Anaheim; Raul Mondesi, New York DH: Edgar Martinez, Seattle Pitchers: Esteban Loaiza, Chicago; Mark Mulder, Oakland; Mike Mussina, New York; Barry Zito, Oakland; Gil Meche*, Seattle; Roger Clemens, New York; Tim Hudson*, Oakland; C.C. Sabathia*, Cleveland; Nate Cornejo, Detroit; Ugueth Urbina, Texas; Eddie Guardado, Minnesota; Keith Foulke, Oakland NATIONAL LEAGUE C: Benito Santiago*, San Francisco; Mike Lieberthal, Philadelphia 1B: Todd Helton, Colorado; Richie Sexson, Milwaukee; Randall Simon*, Pittsburgh 2B: Jeff Kent, Houston; Marcus Giles, Atlanta; Jose Vidro, Montreal 3B: Mike Lowell, Florida; Scott Rolen, St. Louis SS: Alex Gonzalez, Florida; Edgar Renteria, St. Louis; Rafael Furcal, Atlanta OF: Gary Sheffield, Atlanta; Albert Pujols, St. Louis; Austin Kearns, Cincinnati; Preston Wilson, Colorado; Barry Bonds, San Francisco; Luis Gonzalez, Arizona; Rondell White, San Diego Pitchers: Woody Williams, St. Louis; Kevin Brown, Los Angeles; Matt Morris*, St. Louis; Mark Prior, Chicago; Jason Schmidt*, San Francisco; Kevin Millwood, Philadelphia; Hideo Nomo*, Los Angeles; John Smoltz, Atlanta; Eric Gagne, Los Angeles; Tim Worrell, San Francisco; Billy Wagner, Houston; Armando Benitez*, New York

Such as? He's a fat fuck from Texas...he's the Bradshaw of Major League Baseball BAH GAWD~!

Whatever Clemens is a jackass and I'm so proud of my A's over the years who have always given Clemens a tough time especially when Dave Stewart was pitching. Stewart > Clemens

Well what do you know...Jeff Hardy is baaaack...well okay he wrestled an independent show last night. Pulled this off the Wienerboard: Yes, you read it right Jeff Hardy has returned to the wrestling world by fighting some guy in ICW. Hardy, then guised as "Willow The Wisp (or "Will O' The Wisp," depending on what news site you hear this from)" was pinned. Outraged, he pulled a swanton bomb and was unmasked to be Jeff Hardy.

I hope Steinbrenner loses it and fires Torre and just watch the Yankees crumble. Probably won't happen but it sure would be fun to watch.

May 31, 1993 Marty Jannetty def. Bam Bam Bigelow by count out; IC Title Match The Steiner Brothers def. Rich Myers & The Executioner Mr. Hughes def. Bert Centeno Jim Duggan def. Mark Thomas Razor Ramon def. Tony Roy May 30, 1994 Crush NC Tatanka; double count out The 1-2-3 Kid def. George South The Smoking Gunns def. Austin Steele & Reno Riggins Jeff Jarrett def. Chris Hamerick May 29, 1995 Sid def. Mike Khoury Adam Bomb def. Bob Cook Hakushi def. John Snakowski Men on a Mission def. Gary Scott & Aaron Furguson The Undertaker def. Jeff Jarrett; KOTR Qualifier May 27, 1996 Ultimate Warrior NC Goldust; double count out; KOTR Qualifier The Smoking Gunns def. The BodyDonnas Vader def. Ahmed Johnson May 26, 1997 The Legion of Doom def. Brian Pillman & Jim Neidhart by DQ D’Lo Brown def. Bob Holly Jerry Lawler def. Goldust; KOTR Qualifier Rocky Maivia def. Flash Funk Ahmed Johnson def. Vader; KOTR Qualifier Hunter Hearst Helmsley def. Rockabilly Shawn Michaels & Steve Austin def. Owen Hart & Davey Boy Smith to win the Tag Team Titles May 25, 1998 L.O.D. 2000 & Puke def. The Disciples of Apocalypse Dan Severn def. Owen Hart by DQ Gloga def. Thrasher Vader def. Jeff Jarrett by DQ Taka Michinoku def. Dick Togo; LHW Title Match Faarooq def. Marc Mero The Rock NC Triple H; double count out May 31, 1999 The Big Show def. Mr. Ass by count out Beaver Cleavage def. Christian Jeff Jarrett def. The Godfather to win the Intercontinental Title Vince McMahon def. The Undertaker by DQ Road Dogg def. The Big Bossman by DQ The Acolytes def. Kane & X-Pac to win the Tag Team Titles Val Venis def. Ken Shamrock Triple H def. Mankind in a hardcore match Steve Austin def. The Undertaker by DQ; WWF Title Match May 29, 2000 D’Lo Brown, Perry Saturn, & Terri def. The Godfather, Dean Malenko, & The Kat Eddie Guerrero def. Kurt Angle; European Title Match Too Cool def. Edge & Christian to win the Tag Team Titles Rikishi def. Shane McMahon def. by DQ; KOTR Qualifier T&A & Val Venis def. The Hardy Boyz & Chris Jericho Hardcore Holly def. Chris Benoit by DQ; IC Title Match Bull Buchanan def. Steve Blackman; KOTR Qualifier The Undertaker NC The Rock in a Lumberjack Match May 28, 2001 The Hardy Boyz def. X-Pac & Justin Credible Chris Benoit def. Rhyno Steve Blackman & Trish Stratus def. Perry Saturn & Terri Hardcore Crap Segment: Rhyno def. Chris Jericho to win the title after Jericho beat The Big Show Eddie Guerrero def. Albert The Dudley Boyz def. Hardcore Holly & Crash Steve Austin def. Chris Benoit; WWF Title Match May 27, 2002 Spike Dudley & Trish Stratus def. William Regal & Molly Holly; Euro & Women’s Title Match; Trish pinned Molly Hardcore Crap Segment: Steven Richards def. Terri to win back the title after Terri pinned him Booker T & X-Pac def. The Hardy Boyz Brock Lesnar def. Bubba Ray Dudley The Big Show def. Bradshaw Goldust def. Crash Rob Van Dam def. Eddie Guerrero in a Ladder Match to win the Intercontinental Title

May 25, 2000 Eddie Guerrero & Chyna def. Edge & Christian by DQ; Tag Title Match Faarooq def. Crash Holly in a hardcore match Hardcore Holly def. Chris Jericho and Val Venis (pinned) in a Triple Threat Match Matt Hardy def. Essa Rios The Dudley Boyz & Too Cool def. T&A, Road Dogg, & X-Pac Kurt Angle def. Chris Benoit by DQ; IC Title Match Bull Buchanan def. Al Snow The Undertaker def. Shane McMahon by DQ May 31, 2001 Kane def. Edge; IC Title Match Hardcore Holly def. Bubba Ray Dudley Chris Jericho def. Kurt Angle Rhyno def. Raven; HC Title Match X-Factor def. The Hardy Boyz & Eddie Guerrero Steve Austin def. Chris Benoit; WWF Title Match May 30, 2002 Rikishi & Rico def. Billy & Chuck; Tag Title Match Christian def. Maven Chris Jericho def. Faarooq The Undertaker def. Randy Orton; WWE Undisputed Title Match Tajiri & Chavo Guerrero def. The Hurricane & Billy Kidman Test def. Triple H Edge def. Kurt Angle in a Steel Cage Match

New feature for this week for all my Review topics, I'll post old recaps of the main event or a featured match or a major angle development from each show. Of course recaps for some shows are a pain in the ass to find even on Google so sometimes the recap isn't going to be very good. In the case of Smackdown its pretty easy since CRZ recapped all of them until late last year. credit: CRZ, slashwrestling.com 2000 BIG SKIPPY THE GIANT KILLER v. UNDERTAKER - More poetry from the heir apparent? Well, first, Shane uses his eyes to encourage a "Shane's a pussy" chant. "I'm sorry, have you not been watching the same matches that I have been? I've been DOMINATING here in the World Wrestling Federation! As a matter of fact, ya see, Undertaker, tonight will be YOUR Judgment Day, just as it was the Big Show's Judgment Day last Sunday night. And obviously, many of you have forgot what the Giant Killer has done to the Big Show, so let's revisit that special moment - roll the footage! There it is, oh my lookit five hundred pounds OOOOOH, man, right across the Big Show's knee, oh man, one more time, I love that footage, yes! Crushing the Big Show's knee - one more time, yeah! That's what I'm talking about! And I did it all on my own...but I wasn't done after that, no, I had one more thing to do to the Big Show, and that was defeat him for the 1, 2, 3, so I - let's roll the footage here - so I accidentally hit the Big Show in the back of the head with a cinder block, which I - OHHH! Lookit that - rendering the big man unconscious, check that out, and all that was left, yes! History - 1, 2, 3 as I was cheered on by Bull Buchanan! So, Undertaker, if I was you I'd stay in the back, 'cause obviously you want none of Shane-O-Mac." Undertaker comes out on his Beautiful Titan Bike - his entrance is sponsored by Kid Rock's upcoming CD. He's actually gonna get off the bike! No, wait, he's gonna sit there and shake his head instead. NOW he gets in the ring. Shane takes a powder. We listen to Kid Rock some more. About three minutes left in the show. NOW Shane hits the ring, bouncing around - Undertaker doesn't even seem amused by this! Undertaker with a right hand and Shane goes down hard. Better cue the run-in now...Undertaker with a choke - and a throw into the corner, Undertaker working the body, right left rightleftrightleftrightleft right left, right - back elbow - KO right. Undertaker puts Shane in the ropes - choke - chokeslam! Here's DX - see ya Road Dogg - 'bye X-Pac - down you go, Champ. DX continue to attack Black Ninja style as we see BILLIONAIRE VINCE, STEPHANIE ONO, TORI and GERALD BRISCO make their way down the aisle. Undertaker has Triple H in a choke but before he can finish the chokeslam, X-Pac gets him from behind - Dogg and X-Pac work on Undertaker in the corner - Triple H joins them. Crowd chants "Rock E." Vince in the ring now..."if ya smell..." LA ROCA runs out - see ya, Road Dogg - 'bye, X-Pac - these guys have GOT to stop attack one at a time! Undertaker punches Triple H and Shane - Rock Bottom for Road Dogg - X-Pac tossed outside - Undertaker and Rock playing pinball punchin' with Triple H. Shane gets a tombstone as Rock punches Triple H over the top rope to the floor. The ring clears of Faction members as Rock gets one more right hand in on Triple H. Undertaker decides to hop back on his bike and chase everybody up the ramp. Play the Rock's music again! Sign in crowd: "Ruck the Fock" Yeah, buddy. Credits are up and we're out. Hmm, I guess that's a (No contest). 2001 WWF CHAMPIONSHIP: CHRIS BENOIT (with "WWF: The Music [Volume 5]" CD cover) v. MY NAME IS STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN (stonecold.com) - Hmm, once again we've got about a half hour left in the show. Looks like I'm wrong, Earl Hebner is back out. Oh, but wait...here comes BILLIONAIRE VINCE, and he's wearing the zebra stripes (and, of course, no sleeves). "Wait a minute now, wait a minute, wait a minute - allow me to introduce myself - my name is Vince McMahon, I'm the chairman of the World Wrestling Federation ...and I have assigned myself to be the Special Enforcer to ensure that the rules and regulations are indeed adhered to." Well, at least McMahon isn't Hebner's succedaneum in this match as I'd earlier feared. (I just won a bet!) Austin rolls out of the ring to have a chat with McMahon, as we take an (final?) ad break. Yes you ARE watching WWF SmackDown! on UPN Well *that* took care of ten minutes! Benoit's tired of waiting, and puts a double axehandle in the back to start. Kick in the head, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, elbowdrop, knife-edge chop, chop, chop, into the ropes, chop! Clothesline. Kick, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp. It's all Benoit so far. Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp - Hebner finally pulls him off as Austin rolls to the apron - Benoit wants another piece of him but Austin manages a stun gun. "Austin Sux!" Forearm across the back by Austin. Benoit into the ropes, reversed, head down and Austin hits a swinging neckbreaker. First cover - Austin gets 2. Stomp. Stomp. Austin stokes the fans with just a look. Going for a big vertical suplex...but Benoit is back to his feet, got the arm and putting on the crossface! Austin makes it to the ropes before he can lock it in, however. Benoit pulls Austin to the centre and puts it on again!! Austin crawls sideways to the ropes...and grabs it. Again, Benoit pulls Austin to the middle and puts it on again!! Austin is a little slower with his sideways crawl...but again reaches the bottom rope. Benoit stomps Austin in the head - AGAIN with the crossface! Austin's eyes bug out from the pain - crawling to the ropes again - reaching - missing - reaching - got it. Hebner forces the break. Benoit stomps on Austin, Austin rolls out. Benoit's after him now - clothesline over the commentary table! Benoit stands on the commentary table...and looks to the crowd. Now back to the floor, where Austin is lying - stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp. Hebner encourages Benoit to take it back to the ring - Benoit picks Austin up to his feet, and unleashes a right hand that takes him over the table again. Chop on the floor, rolled back in, Benoit follows. Running clothesline and Austin goes outside again! Benoit out and the chase is on. McMahon is noticably away from this action... Austin manages a kick in the injured ribs to stop Benoit, at least temporarily. Two more kicks to the ribs. Austin bounces Benoit's head off the commentary table and puts him back in. Austin grabs his belt on his way back in - he and Hebner tussle over the title belt - Benoit over to shove Austin, unfortunately, into Hebner, putting him down. Gutshot by Benoit, chop, chop, chop, kick and Austin falls. Pulled into the corner, gutshot as Austin comes out - DDT on the title belt! Benoit looks to the fans, who get louder...that's it! Benoit climbing that ladder all the way to the WWF Championship - SWANDIVE HEADBUTT....NO!! Austin puts the belt up and Benoit's headbutt only finds gold. Here's a Double Feature. Hebner is back up and counting...up to 4 as Austin covers - 1, 2, no! Austin hooks the leg and covers again - and again gets 2! Austin mounts Benoit - right, right, right, right, right, hooks the leg - 1, 2, Benoit gets the shoulder up! Austin spreads the legs - no, wait - it's a SHARPSHOOTER! Benoit screams in pain - looks like his cheek is opened up as well. Crowd chants "Benoit" and it looks like he's getting strength from it - using his legs - and powering out! Austin falls forward as Benoit stands up - HE'S got a Sharpshooter! And now it's Austin doing the screaming as Benoit sits back. Austin is too far from the ropes - HE tries to use his legs - and *does* get it broken. Austin goes back to *his* Sharpshooter - and just looking at his face, you can see that Austin is *possessed.* Austin sits back - Benoit tries to crawl. Benoit gets the rope! But Austin pulls him away and sits back one more time. Benoit tries again to power out - Austin is teetering - he's down! Benoit trying to put on the Sharpshooter one more time - Austin with the rope - Benoit pulls him out - again Austin crawls to the bottom rope - and this time, Benoit breaks it. Both men are down and Hebner starts his count again. "Benoit" chant is loud and proud. Hebner's up to 6...and Austin is up first. Benoit up from behind, grabbing the waistlock - nothing doing, so Benoit puts the forearm in the back - FIVE big forearms - Austin still clings to the ropes, so Benoit unleashes three more forearms. He can't break Austin free, though - Hebner trying to get them out of the corner, and Austin's trick knee acts up behind Hebner's back. AUSTIN making the "That's It" hand motion! Is he going up for a headbutt of his own?! Well, we'll never know - Benoit pops up and, as Austin sits on the top buckle, throws a right, right, right, right, right! Benoit up! Could it be? YES!! SUPERPLEX!! But that took as much out of Benoit as it did Austin - both men are down once again. Check the Double Feature as Hebner gets to 5 - Benoit with the cover - 1, 2, Austin's out! Benoit has the crossface AGAIN!! Austin sidesteps to the ropes - and gets the break. Again Austin rolls outside - he's trying to walk it off, trying to get some air in those lungs but Benoit is relentless. Forearm in the back. Austin manages to turn it around and put Benoit's head to the commentary table. Austin on the floor with a suplex - no, a FRONT SUPLEX and Benoit's ribs land right on the table! Hebner is *furious* with McMahon for letting these shenanigans go on - McMahon tells him to worry about calling it inside, HE'LL call it outside. Double Feature of the suplex. Austin rolls in, Hebner back in, Austin rolls out. He pulls Benoit up - he's got that look in his eyes again. But it's Benoit with "Iblockyourpunchyoudn'tblockmine," right, right, Austin to the eyes - another HOLY LIVING FUCK!! He dropped him *headfirst to the floor* as those injured ribs *again* hit the commentary table. Jesus Christ. What won't Austin do? Austni shoves a cameraman out of the way, climbs the steps and sneers at the fans. Double Feature of that WICKED suplex. Hebner is out checking on Benoit - Austin comes over and gives Benoit a choke in plain sight. Austin grabs what's left of Benoit's tapejob and runs Benoit ribs first into the STEEL steps. Austin back in the ring, Hebner back in, Austin back out. Again, he pulls him up by what's left of the tape job - and again, Benoit meets the steps. Rolled back in. BIG "Austin sucks" chant. Austin with a knee in the ribs. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp, stomp, stomp. Austin off the ropes, and driving the elbow into Benoit's heart. Austin looks to the crowd...and drops another elbow. "You see that? You see that? You see that?" Austin holds the belt close while simultaneously applying a chinlock. Pulling him to his feet - Benoit blocks the head to the buckle and puts Austin's head there instead! And again! And make it three - four - forearm to the chest, right, right! Into the ropes is reversed...Austin with the SPINEBUSTER. And just like that, Austin drops ANOTHER hammer. Cover - 1, 2, NO!! Austin can't believe it. Austin has the legs - is he going for a Liontamer?! And now he steps over into the Boston crab - Benoit is screaming, and McMahon is screaming - "give up!" Benoit won't give up - back to his back, and back to the bottom rope! Austin stomps on the ribs - stomp, stomp, stomp. Head to the buckle - Austin just SLAPPING the back of Benoit's head. Another head to the buckle - forearm in the back, forearm, forearm. Again, Austin smashes Benoit's head into the top turnbuckle. And again - Benoit elbows back! Austin gets the head to the buckle, but with a little less force this time, another elbow by Benoit. Austin again puts the head in the buckle, Benoit fires back, Austin with a right, chop by Benoit, right by Austin, right by Benoit, Austin, Benoit, Benoit, BENOIT, BENOIT, BENOIT - Austni KICK WHAM - NO BENOIT SHOVE HIM OFF - Austin tries a clothesline off the ropes, Benoit ducks it - GERMAN SUPLEX!! Holding on for two! Holding on for THREE! HOLDING ON FOR FOUR! HOLDING ON FOR FIVE!! Austin signals for timeout - Benoit doesn't think so. Two forearms in the back - ANOTHER GERMAN SUPLEX! And Benoit STILL holds on! GERMAN SUPLEX! And Benoit STILL holds on! GERMAN SUPLEX! AND BENOIT *STILL* HOLDS ON!! GERMAN SUPLEX!!! BENOIT WILL NOT LET GO! Crowd chanting "TEN! TEN! TEN!" AND THAT IS THE **TENTH** GERMAN SUPLEX!!!! Vince is up on the apron - oh, here we go - Benoit shoves Austin into a forearm of Vince, taking him to the floor - Benoit catches Austin as he comes back - CROSSFACE!! But McMahon is back in and he's got a chair - right hand to put Hebner down - approaching Benoit with the chair - Benoit kicks him in the 'nads! And now Benoit has the chair - WHACK! Chair in the back! Chair to the HEAD! Chair to the shoulder! Chair to the hip! Chair to the shoulder! Chair to the shoulder! Chair to the back!! But Benoit has lost sight of Austin! Austin - Austin has Benoit rolled up with a schoolboy - Austin is holding the tights - Austin is holding the tights - 1.... 2....... 3!!!!!!!! (19:39) Austin grabs the belt and heads up the ramp...and collapses. But he's still clutching the belt...and for Austin, that's all that matters. 2002 KURT ANGLE (Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania - 237 pounds) v. EDGE (Toronto, Ontario - 241 pounds - with Forceable Entry CD cover) in a STEEL cage match referee: BRIAN HEBNER Hey, didja notice something about this show? Think about it - I'll tell ya later if you haven't figured it out. Just before this match begins, we take a look at THE HART FAMILY in the front row - man, Stu just looks....well, like all of Lawler's jokes from nine years ago. Edge in through the door and now they're nose to nose. Angle backs off first. Lockup, waistlock by Angle - Edge with two elbows to break the hold. Angle grabs a single leg - Edge tries an enzuigiri but Angle ducks it, and Edge lands on his stomach. Angle's elbowdrop misses, Edge's clothesline ducked - stalemate. Lockup, side headlock by Angle, grinding it in...Edge manages a waistlock - and a takedown! Angle reverses to a hammerlock. Edge counters the counter and puts down Angle with a bodyslam. Angle runs into a drop toehold. Angle takes a quick breather in the corner while Edge waits in the centre. Edge comes in - kick by Angle, right, right, hmmm Angle went to the closed fists first - right, into the ropes, back elbow. Angle tries to run Edge into the cage, but Edge blocks it. Back elbow for Angle, right, into the ropes, spinning heel kick puts Angle down. And it's *Edge* putting Angle over the top rope and bouncing off the wall of the cage with his back! Edge is poised - SPEAR...misses!! Edge crashes into the wall of the cage and bounces back to the middle. Angle takes control - stomp, stomp, head to the buckle, right, right, right, kick, stomp, standing on the neck. Suplex! Leg is hooked - 1, 2, no! Pinfall or escape - over the top or out the door - or submission to win this match. Angle puts on the front facelock. Wow, that is a *beautiful* shot from the crane, by the way. Edge back to his feet...gutshot, right, breaks the hold, into the ropes, Angle ducks, off the ropes again and Edge catches Angle in a BIG belly-to-belly overhead suplex! Edge decides this might be a good time to try to climb the cage - Angle up from behind but Edge kicks him away...but then turns round to leap from the top turnbuckle with a big clothesline! Leg is hooked - 1, 2, Angle kicks out! Angle runs behind to grab the waistlock - German suplex - make it two - make it THREE before Angle unclasps his hands. Hooks the leg - 1, 2, no! Angle goes for the door (FINALLY some smarts!) but it's a little too difficult to open from inside and there's no ref on the outside in this match - Edge crawls over and grabs his ankle - Edge turns round - stomp, stomp, stomp. Picks him up - and rams his head into the cage!! Edge is taken to ANOTHER cage wall! Angle goes for a THIRD wall and Edge hits again. Angle feeds the crowd as we take a replay - Angle right, right, right, right, mount, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, I may have missed one or two there. Sure enough, Edge has tapped a gushah. Angle pulls back on Edge's hair to gives us the Blood from a Stone homage and it does look impressive. Another straight right hand puts Edge on the mat. But still Edge manages a double leg - and a WOW catapult into the cage! Edge-omatic! 1, 2, NO! Edge pulls himself up by the ropes - the blood's very impressive looking at this stage. Angle is up as well - Edge with "Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine," right, into the ropes, back body drop, clothesline, ducks Angle's clothesline and hits the half nelson faceplant - leg is hooked - 1, 2, NO!! Angle grabbed the bottom rope. Both men up very slowly - Angle puts Edge into the ropes - Edge tries a crossbody but Angle ducks - but Hebner does not! The ref is out - Angle grabs the waistlock and hits ANOTHER German suplex. We get a good shot of part of Angle's dome as his weave has definitely shifted away from the headgear. Angle decides to climb the corner this time - Edge over just in the nick of time - shot from behind - climbing up AFTER him - shot in the back - another forearm - and HOLY SHIT! Let's check the replay - Edge with a top rope backdrop SUPERplex, but Angle did a full flip on his way down. WOW. Edge again makes the slow climb up the ropes - second floor - top rope - trying to boost himself onto the support structure - no, Angle is up...ohhhh an uppernut - that'll stop you in your tracks for sure. Right, right, right, right, right right right - OHHHHH SUPER OLYMPIC SLAM!!!!! All three men are down - no, Angle is up! Angle staggers to the corner and climbs the cage one more time - he's to the top and Edge hasn't budged from the mat this time. Angle is over - Angle is down to the floor! Your winner is Kurt Angle! YOU KNOW WHO is out...ramming Angle into the cage wall - again - taking him up the ramp for a THIRD trip into the wall of the cage! Hogan opens the door...and puts Angle back in! "Hulk Hogan is screwing Kurt Angle!" Well, Hebner's been down four minutes and counting - and without him noticing Kurt on the floor - this match isn't over! Unfortunately, we're gonna have to take an ad break here - but I'm willing to take a flyer that we won't get a decision until we come right back... *snip* When we DO come back, everybody's back up - Edge with a gutshot, wants the Edgecution but Angle reverses - gutshot - OLYMPIC SLAM AGAIN!! Leg is hooked - 1, 2, NO!! DURING THE BREAK! Edge ducked a clothesline, hit the SPEAR off the ropes - but only got 2! That each man has kicked out of a finisher says just as much for the resiliency of the wrestlers involved but also for the fatigue, as neither man can hold the cover and keep his opponent down for three even AFTER the damage of a finishing move. But it's Angle in command at the moment, waiting for Edge to get up - he went for Edge's move, but Edge steps aside and Angle spears the turnbuckle! And it's EDGE with an Olympic Slam on Angle!! Edge hooks the leg - 1, 2, NO!!! Edge can barely get to his feet - and can't, as Angle grabs an ankle and puts on the Anglelock! Edge reaches for the ropes - can't reach it - drops down and rolls, muscling Angle into the wall of the cage. And EDGE puts on an anklelock!! Angle screams in pain, but HE manages to roll to his back and kick Edge away, breaking the hold!! Edge nears the door but Angle knocks him down with an axehandle. As Edge falls, his leg tangles between the ropes! Angle takes advantage - stomp, stomp, stomp - stomp, tries to go through the door but Edge grabs his ankle. angle back to him - stomp, stomp, stomp - Angle lets up, seeing Edge still unable to get out of the ropes - flips him off and waves goodbye...he's going to climb up and over. As Edge gets to the top, Edge FINALLY untangles himself from the ropes...is it too late? Edge climbs up after him - Edge standing on the top rope and Angle standing on the door - Edge rams Angle's head into the top - Angle ends up straddling the door! (X-Pac/Jericho anyone?) Edge *grabs the hair* and pulls Angle back over the top - and shoves him back into the ring! Edge stands on the top buckle, waiting for the chance - Angle tries to catch him by surprise, but before he can leap up the buckles, Edge comes off with a big, big SPEAR! Leg is hooked - 1, 2, 3!!!!!!!!!!! EDGE GETS THE PIN!!! (11:02 + 3:35) We take a replay of Angle out on the floor (quickly we're reminded that Angle should have won this match), Hogan running him into the cage, that final spear, and coming back live (to tape), Hogan is in the cage - ramming Angle into a cage wall - into the opposite wall - back to the first wall - Hogan makes the international "I'm gonna pull off his weave!" sign, but Angle rakes the face and makes a quick dash under the bottom rope and out the door (too bad he couldn't do that during the match!). Perhaps, then, Angle has the last laugh - we still haven't seen his bald head yet. Jimi Hendrix plays - even as Hogan raises *Edge's* hand. Credits are up...

Cotinued...credit: CRZ, slashwrestling.com 1998 THE ROCK (with Mark Henry) v. TRIPLE H (with Chyna) in a nontitle *snip* Are you ready? Finally, we start this match. Lockup, wristlock, reverse, headlock, out, shoulderblock by the Rock. Lockup, headlock by the Rock, gobehind into a keylock, HHH elbows Rock in the mush and chops his [own] crotch. And now they're taking turns giving rights to each other. Rock takes charge, and knocks down HHH, then chops HIS crotch. The Rock runs at Helmsley, who steps aside and brings the Rock to the outside over the top rope. Chyna delivers a punch, which brings over Mark Henry. While referee "Blind" Mike Ciota is distracted by these two staring down, Helmsley is basically running Maivia into anything nailed down at ringside. Back in, and the Rock hits Helmsley on his way in. To the corner, the Rock kicks and punches away and Hunter is sitting on the mat. Ciota and Maivia jaw about the five count, and Henry chokes Helmsley, then gets a shot in with the Intercontinental belt, much to Chyna's dismay. Ciota turns around, and counts - 1, 2, Chyna pulls Rocky off of Hunter. While Ciota turns to Chyna, lets take an ad break! But first, a reminder that Over the Edge will be broadcast Sunday on PPV! When we come back, the Rock is winding up for the People's Elbow - and he delivers. 1, 2 - no. Ross says no more commercials for the last 12+ minutes of the show. Meanwhile, Hunter's finally come back and has brought Mark Henry up on the apron to boot. While Ciota turns to Henry, Chyna waffles the Rock with the European title. 1, 2, no. See? Cheaters NEVER prosper! Helmsley with kneedrop for 2. Chop (woooo!) by HHH, and another. And now Helmsley is kicking away until the Rock is lying on the mat. Whip into the corner, head down, swinging neckbreaker by the Rock. 1, 2, no. 1, 2, no. They're toe to toe, trading blows, head down, Helmsley tries for the pedigree, but the Rock backdrops him over the top rope - to Henry, who stomps away. Chyna grabs a chair, and takes a shot at Henry. So Henry turns to Chyna - and Helmsley gets to attack from behind, and Henry meets the steel steps. So the Rock comes out to help Henry, then next thing we know Triple H and the Rock are brawling on the outside, and - yep, double countout. (10:50 give or take an ad break). The Rock backs away, still laying the smack down on Helmsley - but he ends up backing into Faarooq, who PILEDRIVES him on the stage. Wow. 1999 UNDERTAKER (with Paul Bearer) v. STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN for the WWF Championship - amazingly enough, Undertaker WEARS the title belt AROUND HIS WAIST. Is it the "smokin' skull" belt because Austin's gonna win it back tonight? And if so, what's that "symbol" doing on the stage? Lawler again tries to press Ross for a prediction of the Great Power while saying that he thinks he knows what it is, going even further towards insinuating it's Shane. Austin rushes the ring before the introduction is over, slides out of the ring and wraps Undertaker's leg around the ringpost as Undertaker tries to follow him out. Make a wish! Groin hits the post - Austin is in the ring and the opening bell sounds. Austin on him with rights - head to the buckle. More rights, Undertaker with a throat chop. Right. Off the ropes, reversal, clothesline ducked, Thesz press by Austin - lotsa rights here. Off the ropes, elbowdrop. 1, 2, Undertaker pushes him off. Austin with the knee in the gut, clothesline takes him outside - Undertaker lands on his feet - Austin after him but Undertaker pulls him out. Brawl on the outside - Undertaker's head meets the commentators' table, then the STEEL steps. Right hand from Austin - he's got a chair but Undertaker hits a gut shot and he drops it. Austin quickly back in control - piledriver attempt is countered with a back bodydrop right on the concrete - Austin holds his left knee. Undertaker with a right, and another. Right. Austin's trick knee acts up to regain him control. Stomping on the Undertaker - rolled back in, Austin tries to follow but stops to adjust his knee brace first. Undertaker with an uppercut as Austin comes back in. Blatant choke - now the knee across the neck. Referee "Blind" Earl Hebner starts a count, finally. Undertaker relents. Off the ropes, but his head is down - Austin with a kick and a lariat for 2. Austin asks him to get up, then hits a lariat for 2. Lawler asks where Shane is. Off the ropes, reversal, big boot from the Undertaker - Austin staggered, lariat takes him down. 1, 2, kickout. Austin rolls under the bottom rope. Undertaker goes out, then drives an elbow into his heart. Austin with an eyepoke but Undertaker hits the right hand as Austin tries to come off the apron with an axehandle. Undertaker whips Austin into the STEEL steps, and he hits his hip. Now out on the ramp - Austin takes Undertaker ot the barricade. Here's a knee deep in the gut - suplex attempt - no - Undertaker reverses into a suplex of his own, Austin's knee landing on the STEEL ramp. Super Soaker provides the Double Feature. Austin having trouble standing - Undertaker hits a kidney punch. Another kidney shot. Uppercut to the throat. Everybody back in the ring - Austin tries a bodyslam but collapses under his weight - 1, 2, no. Austin somehow finding the strength to punch back - Bossman straddle - NO! Only ropes there as Undertaker manages to sidestep it. Crowd chanting "Austin" pretty loudly - but Undertaker brings his thumb 'cross his throat and it must be over. 'Taker picks him up, off the ropes - Austin ducks the clothesline - gutshot by Austin, STONE COLD STUNNER! Hebner in position - 1, 2, Paul Bearer pulls Hebner out of the ring. Austin out and Bearer goes down with one right hand. Back in the ring, Austin hits a right on Undertaker, and another, but BIG BOSSMAN is out - quick Stunner on the Bossman, but now the rest of the CORPORATE MINISTRY is out and Austin can't take them all on by himself. The bell sounds (DQ? 7:15) and Austin is tied in the ropes and held there by the Ministry. Noticably absent is Shane...as the Undertaker, and then most of the ministry falls to their knees as the black light shines over the ring and (uh oh) the Gregorian Chants start. A HOODED FIGURE walks slowly to the ring - Lawler actually SAYS "Shane" which must mean it ISN'T Shane. Lawler puts the clues together for us but it doesn't appear that we'll find out tonight. Undertaker present Austin to whoever it is - they approach Austin and reveal their face just enough for Austin to see it - Austin is angered and mouths "sonuvabitch!" Ross: "The Greater Power just revealed himself to Austin! Austin saw it! Austin's in shock! The rattlesnake looks like he's just seen a ghost! Who the hell is it? Who in the hell is the Greater Power?" 2000 UNDERTAKER (with one more Kid Rock promo) v. LA ROCA - Over 17K in attendance, and don't you forget it. Hey, you don't suppose there'll be a special guest referee tonight...DO YA? "No Chance in Hell" fires up as soon as both men are in the ring and out strides BILLIONAIRE VINCE. "All right...before you two beat the hell out of each other, which, quite frankly, I'm going to enjoy...before you two beat the hell out of each other, I want to know one thing - which one of you was the gutless one that attacked Road Dogg, Patterson and me from behind, and ran like a thief? Which one of you is gutless - it was you, wasn't it Rock? It was you?" Rock pantomimes "It wasn't the Rock - ask the Undertaker." "Ohh. Then it was you, Undertaker! You weren't man enough to come one on one - you had to attack from behind? Hah?" Undertaker mouths "It wasn't me, asshole." Crowd chants "Austin" - keep dreaming. "Oh...so wait a minute - Rock denies it and you deny it. So one lies and the other one swears to it. Okay. Just for that I'm gonna fix both of your asses. Now then, since you won't 'fess up - you don't have the guts to 'fess up - now then, this match will be a lumberjack match." "My Time" plays and out comes the rest of the HOLLYWOOD SQUARES, T&A (with Trish Stratus - the fitness model), BIG BOSS MAN & BULL BUCHANAN. Undertaker finally removes his sunglasses - X.X 7.6 and now, his jacket. Referee "Blind" Tim White calls for the bell and here we go. Staredown - a bit of talking - and they both go out to attack the lumberjacks! I leave it as an exercise to the reader to determine how two men can take out eleven - Rock with a punch in the nuts for the champion - Rock Bottom for Bull Buchanan - chokeslam for Big Boss Man. You would think the numbers would catch up with them, at least so the *good Canadians* could come out and make the save. "Rock E" chant. Finally, Triple H manages a Golota on the Rock. X-Pac jumps on Undertaker from behind and the numbers take command. Vince and Shane hit the ring as well - Vince putting a show on the Undertaker, Road Dogg with some big rights for the Rock. If you're bored (like I am), you can watch Tim White give the time signal to Shane, who gives it to Triple H. Hey, time for the run-in! It's - it's - THROUGH HELL FIRE AND BRIMSTONE IT'S KANE! The evil ones revert back to their Black Ninja Style attack - down everybody goes. X-Pac FINALLY gets a chokeslam - and then Triple H does as well. Kane takes the WWF title belt...holds it aloft - and the turnbuckles burst into flame. Undertaker gives one of those "Hey, who is that guy - he seems so familiar" looks - Rock gives a "ah hell, ANOTHER guy back to clutter up the top of my card" look - the credits are up - the WWF logo shows up to signify that - for tonight, at least - it's over. 2001 WWF CHAMPIONSHIP: MY NAME IS STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN (with Billionaire Vince ... and Combos presents King of the Ring 24 June!) v. CHRIS BENOIT - I will say this, it really makes this main event seem like a special, big deal when they have HOWARD FINKEL back out to make introductions - AFTER both men get their entrance (not to mention the champ entering first): "Ladies and gentlemen, your referee for the following contest, EARL HEBNER. The following contest, scheduled for one fall, is for the World Wrestling Federation Championship! Introducing first to my right, the challenger: from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, weighing 229 pounds, he is the co-holder of the tag team championship, the Rabid Wolverine, Chris Benoit! And his opponent, hailing from Victoria in the Lone Star state of Texas, weighing 252 pounds, the reiging World Wrestling Federation champion, Stone Cold Steve Austin!" Austin's mouth curves into a sneer as his name is said. Man, they should do this for EVERY championship match. Hebner with instructions, then checking both fighters as McMahon walks around - Ross notes the presence of more security surrounding ringside, but attributes it to the previous run-in earlier tonight. I'm BEGGING somebody to say "Montreal" here, SHEESH. Well, here it is. Lockup, both men struggling for position - Austin provides the superior strength, shoving Benoit into the corner. Hebner wants the break but doesn't get it - Benoit switches positions and HE won't relent. Back to Austin...who finally puts up both arms to signal he's going to break. But instead, he drives the boot right into Benoit's taped, injured ribs. A second kick. A third. A fourth. A fifth. A sixth! Benoit, figuring that he won't last long if he keeps getting kicked in the ribs, fires back with a left-handed chop! And there's a second chop with the left hand! Benoit shifts to his right hand for a third chop! A fourth...and a fifth chop! Austin kicks back to regain control. Right hand. Head to the buckle. And now he drives his shoulder into Benoit's gut. Austin has picked his body part early - another shoulder drive - and one more. Hebner: "seven minutes." Pretend you didn't hear that. Austin with a knee to the head. Whip into the opposite corner, Benoit backs out and Austin is ready to clothesline him off the ropes, but Benoit catches the arm instead and tries for the crossface! But Austin must have scouted Benoit from watching the match with Rhyno - he spins out of the attempt, knee in the gut, forearm to the back of the head, and Benoit goes down. Stomp - stomp - stomp - stomp - every boot concentrated on the ribs. Benoit put into the ropes - Austin with a knee in the gut that sends Benoit into a flip. Austin covers - and gets 2. Benoit comes back with a chop - chop - chop - chop - chop - chop - chop - that's seven - off the ropes, ducks a clothesline from Austin, but Austin hits the Austin press and unleashes five punches to the head - Benoit hooks Austin's arms with his legs and tries for a pin - Austin rolls backwards and HE tries a pin - Benoit kicks out and grabs the arm - CROSSFACE! Austin crawls to the ropes, reaches...no...reaches...got it. McMahon breathes a sigh of relief. Austin rolls out to try to catch his breath - but Benoit is out after him. Benoit slams Austin's head into the commentary table - twice! And now to the STEEL steps - two times, Austin's head connects with the steps! Another big chop for Austin - chop - but the next whip into the steps is reversed, and Benoit's ribs take another punishing blow. Austin stands over Benoit, and twice stomps on the ribs. The crowd comes alive with clapping and a "Benoit" chant. Austin puts Benoit into the commentary table as well. Back in the ring we go - Austin puts Benoit into the ropes, but Benoit manages a sunset flip - Austin follows through and gets back to his feet - Benoit with a double leg takedown - AND A SHARPSHOOTER! Crowd goes ballistic as Austin screams in pain. Austin reaches for the ropes...but they're so, so far away. Crawling closer...and Benoit pulls him back to the centre!! Austin manages to turn ninety degrees and grab the bottom rope...to boos. Austin outside again, Benoit following again. Benoit is relentless, but Austin manages the kick. Another kick. Head to the commentary table. Austin with a front suplex onto the barricade. The added security make sure nobody approaches Benoit...and Austin brings him back in over the barricade. ANOTHER front suplex lands Benoit ribs-first onto the barricade. Ross says Hebner won't count 'em out tonight. Austin with a vertical suplex onto the commentary table, which doesn't break! Austin has a big smile on his face - back in the ring and Austin cover - 1, 2, Benoit kicks out. Austin covers again - and again Benoit is out at 2. Austin now targets the ribs with an abdominal stretch...adding to the pressure by grabbing the top rope for leverage. Hebner manages to spot it, and kicks the arm off - allowing Benoit to take over Austin in a hip toss! McMahon is quick to complain about Hebner's interference in the action, but Hebner is the main in the stripes, not McMahon - Benoit with a German suplex!! And holding on for a SECOND German suplex! Still holding on - Austin desperately trying to elbow out of the waistlock - two elbows but Benoit ducks the third, setting Austin on the top turnbuckle, left handed chop, two, THREE chops, climbing up and threatening the superplex...but Austin stays put, throwing Benoit back into the ring! Austin is down off the perch, and HE has Benoit on the top turnbuckle - and HE has the superplex on his challenger. 1, 2, NO!! Austin covers again - 1, 2, NO!! Austin with six blows to the head, ANOTHER cover, and ANOTHER kickout by Benoit! Austin, frustrated, tosses Benoit out of the ring...and goes for his title belt. He's ready to swing, but Hebner manages to grab it from him! There won't be a disqualification tonight! Austin with a right hand on Benoit as somebody says "We gotta go home," and Austin puts Benoit back in the ring - McMahon and Hebner are having a big argument as Austin picks up Benoit - KICK WHAM STUNNER! Austin has the leg hooked but Hebner is still tied up with McMahon - Hebner throws the title belt into the ring as McMahon bumps him around - are THEY going to come to blows? Meanwhile, Austin is up to try to flag down the referee...and having no luck. Benoit is up - found the belt - CLOCKS Austin! Ross counts to three as Hebner comes in - McMahon reaches for Hebner but misses him! 1, 2, AUSTIN KICKS OUT!! Benoit wants Hebner to be VERY sure of that count...and now *he* has taken his eyes off his opponent. Austin with three kicks to the body - whip into the ropes, KICK WHAM, NO-- Benoit shoves him off, then grabs his arm and drops down with the Crossface! Hebner checks on Austin...and McMahon pulls him out of the ring! Hebner up - SHOVING McMahon down!! Back in and asking Austin if he's going to give it up...no, he's got that bottom rope once again. Benoit stays on him - stomp, stomp, stomp. Benoit is relentless - into the ropes is reversed, Austin drives a knee into the injured ribs - then drops down to lock in Benoit's own hold, the crossface! Well, you can probably guess what happens next. McMahon goes crazy making timekeeper TONY CHIMEL ring the bell, then forces Finkel to announce Austin as the winner by submission. (11:12) Ross is apoplectic. "BENOIT NEVER GAVE UP! DAMMIT! BENOIT JUST GOT SCREWED! THAT'S WHAT AUSTIN HAD IN MIND! IT WAS AUSTIN'S PLAN! AUSTIN -- CELEBRATING LIKE HE JUST WON THE WWF TITLE HIMSELF!" KICK WHAM STUNNER and Hebner is down. Vince presents Austin with the wrong, tag team championship belt (!) and they walk off - Heyman finally says "shades of Montreal" as they stand at the bottom of the ramp with arms raised - but CHRIS MONDAY JERICHO is back out, punking out both men with a double clothesline! Jericho stomps away on Austin - and Benoit is out to JOIN him! Right hand by Jericho, right by Benoit, Austin pinballing back and forth - Austin put in the ring - Benoit working over *McMahon* (!) while Jericho ducks a clothesline, double leg takedown - LIONTAMER! And now Benoit has McMahon in the ring - AND IN THE CROSSFACE!! Both men tap, but it doesn't help them any - TWO REFS - make it FOUR REFS are out, but neither man will be denied. The LAST TWO REFS, SERGEANT SLAUGHTER & TONY GAREA join the attempt, but all that ends up happening is a more impressive scuttle as Jericho and Benoit clear the ring of all but the carcasses of Austin and McMahon. Benoit's music plays. Wotta show! That last bit right there - and Ross' final say on commentary - makes the subtle yet *incredibly important* difference between Vince Russo's multiple attempts to recreate Montreal, and this WWF team of writers' attempt to recreate Montreal (only, not exactly recreate it). Ross: "BENOIT GOT SCREWED OUT OF THE WWF TITLE! BUT BY GOD, BENOIT - AND JERICHO - KICKED AUSTIN AND MCMAHON'S ASS - AND I MEAN THEY KICKED IT BIG-TIME!" Closing credits, WWF logo, we're out at ten after... 2002 WWE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP: EDDIE GUERRERO (champion - El Paso, Tejas - 228 pounds - with King of the Ring is brought to you by Snickers Cruncher!) v. ROB VAN DAM (challenger - Battle Creek, Michigan - 235 pounds) in a ladder match referee: EARL HEBNER Guerrero shows some...anxiousness... at the sight of the ladder. Guerrero surrenders the title for Hebner, who places it around the loop which is raised high above the ring. HERE WE GO: Both men look up at the belt...at the ladder...at the belt. Guerrero exercises his jaw muscles: "You want MY championship, you gotta come and take it from ME." Elbow by van Dam, right by Guerrero, elbow by van Dam, right by Guerrero, elbow by van Dam, right by Guerrero, elbow by van Dam is cut short by a knee from Guerrero, right, into the ropes, reversal, back to back over the top, rolls under van Dam's kick, Guerrero grabs a waistlock, standing switch by van Dam, back elbow out by Guerrero, back elbow out, off the ropes but into a Viscera kick from van Dam! Guerrero rolls outside. van Dam wastes no time heading to the ropes - up and over with a pescado but Guerrero sidesteps and throws a right on his way down. Whip - is reversed, and Guerrero collides with the ringpost! van Dam right hand, head to the apron, suplex - make it a hangup on the barricade - forearm in the back - van Dam to the apron, points to himself, then drops the leg on Guerrero's back! That hurt both men. van Dam is up first - stomp - right, right...whip is reversed, and van Dam runs RIGHT into the ladder! Guerrero takes charge - stomp, stomp, stomp, right, right, right, kick, kick, kick, right, right, right, front facelock...suplex on the floor! Guerrero beats up the ladder a bit, then throws it onto van Dam. Guerrero folds up the ladder, tries putting van Dam between the legs and closing it on him - this doesn't work too well, so he tosses the ladder aside and puts van Dam back in the ring. van Dam sneaks in a shot but it's Guerrero in control - right, right - right - right in the corner - into the ropes, big back elbow snaps him to the mat. Guerrero encourages booing. Elbow to the back of the head - elbow - Snickers Cruncher replay of the earlier elbow off the ropes. "Eddie sucks" chant starting up. Elbow to the back of the head - there were about six there, actually. Guerrero outside, pulling him by the legs across the mat, then wrapping it around the ringpost. Guerrero borrows a chair from the ringside area, wraps van Dam's leg around the ringpost a second time, then collects the chair and CRACKS van Dam's leg! He can't climb a ladder on one leg, I suppose...Guerrero back in with a stomp. Stomp. van Dam starts a limp - gutshot has no effect - right by Guerrero, right. Grabs him by the leg and SPIKES him with...almost a teardrop brainbuster more than a side suplex. Head to the buckle by Guerrero. van Dam fires back, right by Guerrero, right by van Dam, right by Guerrero, right, right, right, right. Whip into the opposite corner is reversed - van Dam drops down to deliver the monkey flip, but with one bad leg, Guerrero just doesn't spring as high as normal. Gutshot by van Dam is met with a thumb in the eye by Guerrero - right hand - POWERBOMB - and van Dam's down again. Guerrero goes back outside and goes underneath the ring for a second ladder. Guerrero takes a bit too long carrying the ladder to ringside - van Dam winds up and dropkicks, actually landing *above* the ladder with his feet but Guerrero still whips back to the barricade, getting sandwiched by the ladder. van Dam quickly springs to the apron and off with a moonsault - but lands on the ladder when Guerrero uses it as a shield! At this point, CHRIS BENOIT is seen coming down through the crowd...Security stops him, but Benoit brandishes a ticket. How'd he get THAT? Maybe we'll find out...after this ad break! *snip* When we come back, Guerrero has the ladder and runs it RIGHT into van Dam's head! Benoit appears to have a damn fine seat, as well. Snickers Cruncher replays show a much better angle of van Dam's moonsault into the ladder - and a replay of van Dam eating the ladder we'd just seen. Guerrero has the ladder underneath the title belt...up six steps but van Dam quickly heads to the corner, up to the top rope - and off with a kick to the ladder, sending Guerrero sprawling to the mat! Snickers Cruncher Replay, natch. van Dam may have finally turned the momentum back his way - stomps his head, kick, kick (hmm, the limp is gone) - elbow, elbow, into the ropes, tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, placed on the ladder and van Dam comes off the ropes with a tumbling run backflip press onto the ladder! Snickers Cruncher Replay from the belt cam of Guerrero's spill off the ladder. van Dam adds a slide dropkick, then set up the ladder for HIS try at the belt. Guerrero climbs the opposite set of steps - right, right by van Dam, right by Guerrero, right, right by van Dam, right, right, Guerrero grabs his head and rams it into the top step - five times...then..HOLY SHIT, he flipped OVER the ladder and took van Dam down in a super sunset flip! I'm amazed he didn't break his ankle sticking that landing, too. Give THAT a Snickers Cruncher Replay. Guerrero climbs the ladder...but SOME FAT UGLY IDIOT CANADIAN IN A HOCKEY JERSEY hits the ring and shoves the ladder over - Guerrero saw it in time and leapt off, landing on his feet - Hebner hits the ring and grabs him from behind, taking him down with a little help from a genuine right hand from Guerrero - Security swarms and takes him out of the ring as the fans cheer louder than they have for this match...which says a lot about them. Guerrero with a right, right....and a clothesline to put him back on his back. *Again* Guerrero sets up the ladder - but this time it appears he's more interested in landing something on van Dam than grabbing the title belt...Guerrero up and over with a SENTONBOMB!! Snickers Cruncher with another angle of Guerrero doing a handstand on top of the ladder, then coming off with the swandive senton. Guerrero goes out again for the chair - back in - chairs van Dam's back, and chairs the leg he'd been attacking all match. Guerrero puts the chair in the corner and tries to ram van Dam's head into the chair - but van Dam BLOCKS, then puts EDDIE'S head into the chair! Another head to the chair - kick, kick, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp...van Dam grabs the chair, gets a running start, then lands the dropkick to the chair to the head! Spinning legdrop - ladder on Guerrero, van Dam off with a split-legged moonsault to the ladder!!! Of course, that hurts van Dam just as much - both men are down - no, wait, van Dam is back up...and now the ladder is as well. Ross reminds us that this ain't SportsCentre, which means we're in a Canadian overrun for us 'murican viewers. van Dam, grabbing his leg, slowly climbs to the fifth step - Guerrero up from behind, pulling him back to the mat - van Dam lands on his feet, then collapses. Guerrero grabs him - snap suplex into the ladder. Guerrero grabs the ladder and puts it into the corner - got van Dam, right to the back of the head, right, right, right, to the corner, right, right, right, right, right, right, but the whip is reversed and it's GUERRERO hitting the ladder! van Dam with a kick, knee, knee, into the corner, tubmling run...but Guerrero catches him and sits him on top. Right by Guerrero, right by van Dam, van Dam leaps off but misses - but DOES give Guerrero the monkey flip into the ladder! van Dam pulls Guerrero out and puts the ladder on top of him as we take another Snickers Cruncher Replay - van Dam stomps on the ladder, runs the ropes, and hits Rolling Thunder on the ladder! Both men are down once again, so let's take ANOTHER Snickers Cruncher replay. Right by van Dam, superkick, superkick, Guerrero slumps in the corner and van Dam set up the ladder - but Guerrero *again* manages a dropkick to the shin. Guerrero grabs the chair...but van Dam dropkicks the chair into Guerrero's face! Benoit applauds the fine technical manoeuvres. van Dam puts the ladder in the corner and climbs up to the very top - he wants the Fivestar...but he can't keep his balance and crashes back to the mat when the ladder topples!! Guerrero crawls to the corner and climbs up - HE wants the frog splash, but van Dam makes it over to the corner in time...righ thand, right, overhead kick that takes Guerrero off the top rope and facefirst into the barricade on the floor! van Dam sees his shot and takes it - ladder under the belt - climbing up to the penultimate step - reaching - pulling himself up by the belt for support - trying to undo it - and undoing it! Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new intercontinental champion - and the mythical twenty minute mark has been broken on RAW! (20:29) van Dam celebrates on the second rope - but his back is turned to a dangerous man - Guerrero rams the ladder into van Dam's ribs, sending him crashing to the floor! Guerrero catches his breath - but before he can follow up, the breaking of glass means it's STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN, running to the ring - Guerrero almost makes it out of the ring, but no - Austin with a kick, kick, kick, stomp, stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp, drops down and gets six rights before RIC FLAIR & ARN ANDERSON rush the ring - Austin turns to THEM - right for Flair, right for Anderson, right for Guerrero, right for Flair, right for Anderson, right for Guerrero, stomp, stomp, blocks a right from Flair, into the ropes, big back body drop, right for Anderson, kick, stomp and he rolls out - Benoit hops the rail, removes his shirt and stands next to Austin...well, you know what's coming since Security hasn't stopped him. Benoit puts a forearm in Austin's back. Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, drops down, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, finally lets up - scoop - and a slam - and Guerrero provides the exclamation point with the frog splash. Flair and Anderson chuckle from the ramp while Guerrero and Benoit give Austin their two cents. Arms raised and there's an embrace - RAW Zone credits are up and we're gone.