Adam

Which is fine, considering we're the best team in the world And don't give me that shit about you winning the Ashes, call me when you've beaten us in Australia, like no other team has in 10+ years.

Looks like an awesome lineup. I hope there's a torrent of it available sometime soon.

If he didn't go down like a sack of shit after those kicks, much respect.

I brand this the official hangout of the cool group of the OAOAST. And by the cool group, I mean people who arent BOBBYKINS~!

TEH NEW GM~! Is in the house. Axel will be discussing his involvement in this past Sunday night's World Title match, as well as speaking more on the comeback of none other than RAGDOLL~!

You got a Birthday wish from ABOBO? Oh fuck thats cool. I can't top that. Happy Birthday.

First off, apologies for not getting a script in time. Secondly, to channel Tazz, BIG UPS to KC for organising the Awards this year, and much love to PK for posting the show. I'm happy with my first big match back. I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Well done to SJ on his title run, and on writing a good match to finish it off. Congradulations to PK, and best of luck for a great title reign, although you won't need it. 2006 is going to be a wild ride.

Great show guys. I've only read the Lethal Rumble so far, and may I say, fucking good job by KC.... but it doesn't seem to have an ending. Awesome. I'm sure we'll have the ending sorted soon.

Awesome Awesome Awesome. Rush>All. Or should that be RUSH~! ?

...Oops. Sorry man, with HD at such short notice and all, I was rushing through things.

It’s HeldDown~!~! BOOM! BOOM! BOOBOBOOBOOOBOOBOOBOOBOBOBOOOBOBOOOOMMMMMM~!!!~! (That was a poor representation of pyrotechnics) 3... 2... 1... ...and we are L-I-V-E from Pittsburgh, PA! The crowd is ready, the arena is rockin’, and the best announce team in the business, Triple C, are standing by at Sofa Central! COLE Hello everyone and welcome to the very last episode of HeldDown for the year! I’m Michael Cole, and alongside me as always, are Jonathon Coachman, and former OAOAST Champion, the one, the only, Caboose! COACH I'm PSYCHED! CABOOSE Psycho, Coach. There's a difference. COLE We are just three days out from what should be one hell of a New Years Spectacular! January 1, 2006, this Sunday night! We will not only have the 2006 Angle Awards, but we will have two, TWO HUGE Main Events for you on that night, one of which sees Axel challenging Calvin Szechstein for the power, the position of General Manager of the HeldDown, and therefore the OAOAST! COACH And our true Main Event this Sunday night, a rematch from Climax as my man Stephen Joseph puts his OAOAST Championship on the line against an undeserving opponent in Peter Knight! CABOOSE Undeserving? Peter Knight was screwed at Climax. He deserves a final shot. And he'll get it Sunday night. COLE In any event, our Main Event tonight proves to be chaotic, as eight of the best tag teams in the OAOAST step into the ring for a Lethal Rumble to determine the number one contendors! COACH That should be amazing, eight of the top teams in the company. COLE But lets kick things off by sending you to the back, where Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura are standing by with a very special announcement about the 2006 Anderson Cup, guys? Backstage, in front of the ANDERSON CUP big board are Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura. Painted in the center of the board is the new Anderson Cup trophy, a likeness of Arn Anderson giving the throat-slash. SCHIAVONE Thank you Michael. Tony Schiavone here with Jesse "The Body" Ventura. And Jess, we're moments away from unveiling the 2006 Anderson Cup bracket. VENTURA I'm pumped up about this year's Anderson Cup, Tony Schiavone! Unlike the NCAA, the OAOAST has adopted a playoff system. Over the course of the next several weeks, beginning next Thursday night, 16 teams will compete in a single-elimination tournament to determine who'll face the World Tag Team Champions at Anglemania V. Elimination can occur via pinfall, submission, disqualification or countout. It's so simple even YOU can understand, Schiavone -- win or go home! SCHIAVONE The field has been expanded to meet the demands from teams across the world wanting to compete in the 2006 Anderson Cup. There will be two conferences -- the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference and the Los Infernales Conference -- consisting of 8 teams, all of which have been ranked by the IWC, the International Wrestling Committee. VENTURA What are you waitin' for, Schiavone? Let's reveal the brackets! SCHIAVONE Okey-dokie. Here we go! Cheesy electronic music plays in the background as the camera pulls back to reveal the AC brackets. LOS INFERNALES CONFERENCE #1 GPX vs. #8 Los Diablos de Fuego #4 The Heavenly Rockers vs. #5 Stephen Joseph & Tha Puerto Rican #3 The Sk8ter Boiz vs. #6 NRG #2 Thunderkid & Reject vs. #7 The South Central Militia MIRACLE WEIRDNESS CONNECTION CONFERENCE #1 Black T vs. #8 James Blonde & Faqu #4 Christian Wright & Bohemoth vs. #5 The Lonestar Gunslingers #3 The Love Doctors vs. #6 Team Heyross #2 The Sooner Bruisers vs. #7 Glory by Anarchy SEMI-FINALS February 2nd CONFERENCE FINALS February 16th FINALS ZERO HOUR VENTURA No real surprise that the two teams who won their Conference Title last year, the GPX and Black T, are once again the top two seeds. SCHAVONE Now, wait just a minute. How did NRG, a team who has yet to competed in a OAOAST match, get ranked 6th? I guess the IWC is about as corrupt as the IOC. VENTURA Welcome to the real world, Tony Schiavone. It's obvious to me NRG put some of that corporate sponsership money to good use. NRG didn't just get the 6th seed, they'll also get their hands on the Sk8ter Boiz in the first round. Yeah, the Boiz might look great and claim it's a combination of hard work, Krista Isadora Duncan videos and NRG power drinks and supplements, but let's be honest -- you don't get that ripped in a couple of weeks. SCHIAVONE Marv and Mel HAVE worked hard trying to get in better shape. VENTURA And I bet you believe Barry Bonds is clean despite the fact he went from a normal lookin' guy to The Hulk as he neared 40. Gimme a break, Schiavone. The Boiz just wanna get as much money as they can from NRG before failing their test and giving NRG's image a black eye. It's blackmail and extortion at its worst. SCHIAVONE Another intriguing seeding in the Los Infernales Conference, Jesse, involves the #4 seed...the Heavenly Rockers. VENTURA The biggest winner in all of this is Jim Cornette. Because if everything goes down in the ring like it looks on paper, the Heavenly Rockers will have to go through the Heavyweight Champion of the World Stephen Joseph and the 24/7 Champion Tha Puerto Rican in the first round, the GPX in the semis, then possibily the South Central Militia... SCHIAVONE Or the Sk8ter Boiz, NRG or TK and Reject. VENTURA (CONT'D) ...in the Conference Finals before even making it to the finals against Black T. That's a helluva lot to ask. SCHIAVONE You're already putting Black T in the finals, huh? VENTURA Absolutely. They're a dangerous team. Former World tag team champions. But what makes them especially dangerous is the fact they've haven't teamed on a regular basis in quite some time, you know. They've kept the offensive playbook close to the vest. Really hard to scout them. SCHIAVONE Good point. And speaking of Black T, they very well could meet Christian Wright and Bohemoth in a Climax rematch in the semi-finals. VENTURA That's right. But it ain't gonna be that easy for Wright and Bo, who gotta face the Lone Star Gunslingers. Two big Texicans who have made quite a name for themselves in the HI-YAH promotion. SCHIAVONE HI-YAH is represented well with not only the Lone Star Gunslingers in the Anderson Cup, but James Blonde and Faqu making their return to the OAOAST as well. VENTURA Blonde and Faqu obviously weren't good boys this year. Santa left them a stocking full of coal in the form of Black T. SCHIAVONE Also in the first round, the Sooner Bruisers will meet Glory by Anarchy. VENTURA Like Black T, we haven't seen much of Glory by Anarchy, the Sooner Bruisers better not underestimate them because they'll find themselves out in the first round if they do. SCHIAVONE What about Team Heyross vs. the #3 seed in the MWC Conference, the Love Doctors. VENTURA This is the first round match I'm personally looking forward to. You got two-thirds of the World 6-Man Tag Team Champions and the HI-YAH International Tag Team Champions squaring off. That match could be the show-stealer. SCHIAVONE Fans, the Anderson Cup kicks off next Thursday night with the following two bouts: OAOAST HELDDOWN~! January 5, 2006 LOS INFERNALES CONFERENCE #1 GPX vs. #8 Los Diablos de Fuego MIRACLE WEIRDNESS CONNECTION CONFERENCE #2 The Sooner Bruisers vs. #7 Glory by Anarchy SCHIAVONE Remember, it was the GPX who verbally and physcially abused Los Diablos de Fuego in the parking lot not that long ago. Next week Los Diablos finally get their shot at the GPX. VENTURA And for all we know, Los Diablos probably enjoyed what happened to them. Ain't no Juan and Jose here. It's Johnny Jax and "Big City" Scotty Static. Los Diablos had no business getting involved in the GPX's business in the first place. You know, Schiavone, now that I look at the board...I don't know WHY we're even bothering with a tournament. It's obvious to me Black T is gonna win it all. SCHIAVONE Then...Then I guess we should just cancel the 2006 Anderson Cup. Just give Black T the contract for Anglemania, right? VENTURA I'm glad you're starting to see it my way now. SCHIAVONE Oh, Lordy. That does it for myself and Jesse "The Body" Ventura. We have more still to come! *COMMERCIAL BREAK*

I wonder if you can put money on the amount of times ESPN will mention the Pistons gunning for the Bulls record this season? I already saw a big segment on the very topic on Sportscenter, and its December. By February, if Detroit can keep at this pace, it'll be on every night.

COLE Welcome back to the OAOAST New Years Spectacular ladies and gentlemen. We are LIVE, and what action we’ve seen so far tonight guys. COACH Absolutely Cole, the Angle Awards were great, not to mention all the highlights of 2005. COLE But out of everything we bring to you tonight, this next one has the biggest implications on all those who grace an OAOAST ring. The direction of our very company could be changed with the result of the next bout. CABOOSE This is one of the only times that the General Managers position has been on the line in a wrestling match, and I can’t imagine what HeldDown would be like next week if the challenger comes out on top. COLE Calvin Szechstein is stepping back into the ring next, and putting his General Manager’s position on the line against The OAOAST’s Most Dangerous Man, former two-time champion Axel. COACH High stakes is an understatement. The winner of this match controls our number one rated Television show, controls the bookings, everything. The General Manager is the main authority in the locker room. Calvin has done a great job as General Manager so far, bringing us Pay Per View spectaculars like November Reign and most recently Climax. Now his position, and his very livelihood, is under fire. COLE And under fire from one of the most lethal athletes that has ever stepped into a ring. He’s only had one bout since coming back, a win over the three hundred and fifty pound monster Jingus, a match that he won by referee stoppage. It was in fact the first stoppage in OAOAST history, a sign that Mixed Martial Arts has indeed invaded our waters, in the form of Axel. CABOOSE Calvin has to be careful here. He’s a catch-as-catch-can wrestler, he’s very quick, very agile, and he needs to hit and run tonight. Axel’s got a huge height and weight advantage over him. A good four inches and an even better forty pounds. Axel’s a heavyweight, Calvin’s a light heavyweight. Cal’s ability to evade Axel and frustrate him will decide the outcome of this one. COLE Let’s send it down to ringside where Michael Buffer is standing by. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, our next contest is scheduled for one fall with no time limit. The winner of this bout will become the General Manager of HEEEEEELLLLDDD DDDOOOOOOOWWWWN!!! “Three-Two-One, I’m the Bomb!” [color=silver][b]BOOM![/b][/color] Electric Six’s “I’m the Bomb” hits over the loudspeakers, which is greeted by cheers from the patrons. Calvin Szechstein appears at the top of the New Year’s Spectacular ramp, and makes his way to ringside. He’s decked out in his old attire, but instead of the usual singlet, the t-shirt he wears over the top has a simple message: “Who’s The Boss? I’m The Boss, Baby.” COLE Calvin looks as ready as he could be on a weeks notice guys. He’s been taking a break from active competition for a while now, although he’s always in shape. CABOOSE Yeah but can you be ready to take the in ring punishment that Calvin is going to take in this contest, in a week? COACH You have to remember though Caboose, Axel’s only had one match in the last few months as well. Both of these guys have quite a bit of ring rust, so I don’t think there’s any clear advantage to either man in that category. Axel looked good against Jingus, but he was able to hit the big man with some powerful moves, and close in for the stoppage, but Cal is a different animal. This guy held the OAOAST Championship for over six months, and he’s a member of the Fall of Haim. The GM slaps a couple hands on his way down to the squared circle, before climbing up the steps and entering the ring. His ‘thinker’ pose on the turnbuckles garners more cheers from the sold-out crowd. BUFFER Introducing first, from Milwaukee, Wisconsin, weighing in tonight at two hundred thirteen pounds, he is a former OAOAST Champion and the CURRENT General Manager of HeldDown….. CAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLVVVVIIINNN SSSZZZEEEEEECCCHHHHSSSTTEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!! Calvin jumps off the ropes and stretches in the corner, as Electric Six dies down, and the crowd get louder, as the Angle Award winner for Best Entrance 2005 is about to grace us with his presence. [i]Cue: I’m on a High[/i] Millionaire’s first single hits, the drum beat filling the arena, with those against the entrance way even banging the guardrail to the beat of the drums. The guitar comes into it, and Axel appears, decked in denim fighting shorts, and a camouflage green TapouT hooded jacket. He slaps a couple hands as the music builds, before stopping at the top of the ramp, pointing left, pointing right, pointing with both hands at the ring, and throwing his hood off, and striking the Crucifix Pose… [b][color=red]BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~![/b][/color] Which, of course, lets off a massive pyro blast. Axel walks down to the ring, slapping every hand in front of him. He enters the ring and points at Calvin, before ascending the turnbuckles and greeting the crowd with another crucifix pose. Michael Buffer is handed his announcing notes by an official, and Axel, strangely, asks for his music to be cut. COLE What’s this? BUFFER (taking a deep breath) And his opponent, standing six feet three inches tall and weighing in tonight at two hundred sixty eight pounds. He is a submission fighter with the deadliest knees and ground strikes you are ever likely to see. He has a professional wrestling record of twenty-five and twelve, and a mixed martial arts record of five and oh. Fighting out of Hobart, Tasmania, Australia, using Mixed Martial Arts rules he is an eighteen time OAOAST Heavyweight Champion OF THE WOOOOORRRRRRLLLLDDDD… THIS IS. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAXXXXEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!! The crowd roar in approval, with a lot of people laughing at the outlandish introduction. Axel, a smirk on his face, removes his jacket, and the bell rings. COACH Well, it must be in his contract guys… CABOOSE Cocky bastard. I like it. COLE Axel having a little fun to begin with, you’ve gotta wonder if that puts Calvin off of his game. The strategies will be revealed in due time. Both men step toward the other, arms up, ready for a lockup. Pacing around the ring, they come closer, almost within touching distance, and Axel surprises Calvin by springing a hard leg kick to Cal’s quad, startling the GM. COLE Nice leg kick by Axel, he’s not playing by the normal rules tonight, which is why he’ll be so hard to stop. Calvin shakes his leg, shaking the sting out, and puts his arms up for a tieup again. Axel does the same, and they both come forward, ready. They lunge, but Calvin goes lower and ducks behind Axel, evading the tieup. Axel turns around, and eats two quick right hands to the face, and a boot to the stomach. Calvin follows this up by charging the MMA fighter, and pushing him back into the corner, his shoulder imbedded into Axel’s stomach. COACH Very very nice combo by Calvin, he’s the one that fooled Axel that time and now he’s got Axel in the corner. SLAP! “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” SLAP! “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Two tough chops to the exposed chest of Axel, and then another right hand by Calvin, who is taking advantage. Axel pushes Calvin back, but the GM, like a pitbull, stays on Axel, charging him in the corner and jumping on the first turnbuckle, before firing off six right hands to the temple of the fighter. He is forced to stop the barrage of blows when the referee’s count reaches four, as he has Axel trapped in the corner, and therefore in the ropes. CABOOSE Calvin wants to wear Axel down quickly so he can keep bringing the punishment. Cal knows that Axel loves giving punishment, but how much can he take? Cal brings Axel out of the corner and hooks in a front face lock, showing he still has a lot of strength by taking the former champion over with a vertical suplex. The GM picks his foe up by the hair following the suplex, and pushes him back into the corner once again, this time driving his shoulder into Axel’s abdomen once, twice, three times. The MMA expert gasps for air as Calvin goes to the knee of his foe, stomping down on Axel’s kneecap and causing it to give way. Axel goes down to one leg, and pulls himself along the ropes just so he can get out of the corner. Calvin hits Axel with a right hand while he’s down, momentarily stunning him, and allowing Calvin to measure, and connect with a vicious dropkick to the side of the head with such velocity that Axel goes through the ropes and to the outside! “UWAAAHH!” COLE Calvin has taken this fight to the outside; Axel has taken a tremendous amount of punishment in the early stages of this match! COACH He’s on dream street right now Michael, I don’t think he expected Calvin to be this attacking. CABOOSE I don’t think anybody expected Calvin to be this attacking! This is hard-hitting guys, Calvin is putting it all on the line! COLE Wanna throw another cliché out there Brit boy? CABOOSE You’ve gotta be in it to win it! Axel rolls to his stomach on the outside, getting to his hands and knees, obviously shaken by the fall. He is to be shaken even further, however, as he is sent back down face first into the mat by Calvin Szechstein, who comes off the ring apron with a hard elbow to his opponents back! Calvin shows his mean streak after keeping Axel down on the ground, stomping away at his back, and further wearing down the former champion. CALVIN You want my job you son of a bitch? *SMACK* CALVIN Let’s see how good you are now, UFC boy! *SMACK* The crowd groan as the smack of fist against skull is heard throughout the arena, with the current General Manager landing unprotected shots to the back of Axel’s head. Axel tries in vain to cover up, but Calvin has Axel on his stomach, with no way to protect himself from the shots. The referee’s count is at seven now, and Calvin rolls back into the ring to break it, before rolling straight back out again. Axel is struggling to his feet now, with Calvin stalking him at every movement. COLE Calvin has taken full control of this matchup. He’s just relentless! Calvin grabs Axel by the hair and forces the former champion to his feet. Axel stands up, but is rocked by another hard right hand by the General Manager. Calvin throws Axel into the guardrail, but he doesn’t go down, his arms and head drape over the steel rail. Calvin uses this to his advantage, pushing down on the back of Axel’s head and crushing his windpipe in the steel! The referee is at eight, so Calvin rolls back into the ring once again and rolls out, with the referee warning him that he’ll be counted out. CALVIN Just try it! Try to count me out and I’ll fire your ass you sorry bastard! COLE Wow, the boss has spoken. Calvin brings Axel over to the apron and forces his head down against the steel steps. Axel manages to get his hands up to partially block the blow, but his skull still bounces off of the steel. Calvin rolls his opponent back into the ring and immediately covers him for the pinfall… ONE!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!NO! Axel kicks out of the lateral press, as Calvin failed to hook his legs. COLE Calvin with a rookie mistake there, his ring rust is showing, he gave Axel the chance to kick out of that pinfall, rather than forcing his shoulder off of the mat. CABOOSE And you’d have to think that the longer this match goes, advantage Axel. Calvin, while he’s kept in shape, hasn’t trained for twenty, thirty minutes. Axel, through his Mixed Martial Arts training, plus his wrestling training, has trained to go on for a longer period of time. He’s lean; he’s in great cardio shape, so Calvin is trying to take that advantage away from him. Calvin picks Axel up once again and backs him into the ropes, throwing his opponents arms behind him and over the ropes to momentarily show his chest. SLAP! “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” A stiff chop echoes throughout the arena, and Axel’s hands instinctively go to his chest, protecting it from the barrage of chops that could have easily followed that last one. Calvin tries to Irish Whip Axel to the other side of the ring, but Irish Whips are unrealistic, and therefore have no place in this match. Axel gets OFFENSIVE~! With a boot to the stomach, but he can’t follow it up. Calvin comes back with a right hand and a knee to the midsection, before bringing Axel to the centre of the ring. He takes Axel down with a leg sweep, and then comes off of the ropes, hitting a splash for the cover, this time hooking the outside leg. ONE!!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! NO!!!! Axel kicks with the inside leg and gets a shoulder off of the canvas. Calvin mounts Axel and starts teeing off with shots to the temple, Axel tries to cover up, but instead manages to wrap his legs around Calvin’s head! COLE He might be going for a triangle choke! This is a very successful move in Mixed Martial Arts for the man on the ground! COACH Calvin had better be careful, one wrong move and he could get choked out! Calvin, sensing danger, backs out of the mount, getting to his feet, and taking a second to gather his thoughts. This proves to be foolish, however, as it gives Axel time to get back to a state where he can fight. CABOOSE I know Calvin may have needed a breather, but Axel is getting time to recuperate too, and that’s exactly what Cal doesn’t want. Calvin decides that its time to continue the punishment, walking back over to Axel and connecting with another stiff boot to the back of his head. Calvin brings Axel to his feet once again, and tries a right hand… but Axel blocks it, and hits a forearm of his own! And another forearm! A third! A fourth! Calvin, rocked, staggers backward, and charges at Axel… …but Axel ducks, and sends Cal over with a big Overhead Belly to Belly! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHH!” COLE Axel has his second wind! What an overhead suplex, sending Calvin halfway across the ring! Calvin is up quickly, due to reflexes more than anything, and he charges at Axel again. The MMA fighter is up to the task again, catching Calvin with a deep armdrag, into an armbar. Cal is up, but Axel still has hold of his arm. Axel with a wrench of Calvin’s arm, snapmare by Axel still holding onto the arm, Axel takes a step back, fakes a kick to the back of the head of Calvin, Cal ducks, Axel steps over, and knocks Calvin into oblivion with a stiff back kick! COACH He doesn’t miss twice! Cover by Axel! ONEEEEEE!!!! TWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!NO! Calvin kicks out, despite being momentarily stunned. COLE Vicious shot by Axel, good combination with the snapmare. He’s on the attack now guys, this can’t be good for our General Manager. CABOOSE Calvin has shown that he can take the fight to Axel, now he has to show one of his best traits – resiliency. Calvin has to take this punishment and come back fighting. Axel brings Cal to his feet… SLAP! “WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” SLAP! “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” SLAP!SLAP!SLAP!SMACK!SLAP!SMACK! “UWAAAAAHH!” Two hard chops follow, and then Axel opens up. Forearms, chops, open handed shots, he just ROCKS Calvin with shot after shot, blow after blow. Cal, in another world, staggers around the ring, trying to get away, but he makes a fatal mistake, he turns his back to Axel. Axel immediately applies a waist lock, and takes Cal over with a German! COLE German Suplex! COACH The bridge! ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOO!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Cal manages to get out of the pinning predicament. CABOOSE Axel’s style has changed to become very much like two American former world champions, former ECW World Champion Taz, and former Ring of Honor World Champion Samoa Joe. He is now cool, calm and collected outside the ring, while being deadly inside the squared circle, adopting the ‘strong style’ that many are finding so successful. COLE You can see that Mixed Martial Arts influence coming through, as well as the influences of those two you mentioned. Axel seems more sure of himself nowadays, he knows he can get it done in the ring now, there’s no disputing he can fight a good fight. He’s relaxing, which may be a mistake at times, but it allows him to be more analytical, smarter. Axel brings Calvin to his feet once again, backing him up into the corner, and beginning his attack once again. This time he winds Calvin with two tough knees to the abdomen, following those up with a couple of stiff forearms, enticing another ‘uwah’ from the crowd, as they can hear bone connect with bone, and fear that Calvin’s jaw can’t take much more of the punishment. Calvin stays in the corner, trying to regain his bearings, while Axel rears back eight or nine paces. Axel charges… ..and buries a jumping knee into the face of Calvin! Calvin goes down, slumping into the ropes, Axel rears back again, and this time buries a low knee into the face of Cal, sandwiching it between the knee and the lower turnbuckle pad! “UWWWWAHHHH!” Axel drags Calvin out of the corner, the General Manager seemingly out! ONNNNNEEEEEE!!!!!! TTTTWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! NOOOOO!! Calvin gets a shoulder up at two and a half! COLE Have we ever seen Axel dish out such punishment? He’s paying Calvin back for the initial attack ten-fold guys! CABOOSE Yeah Cole, but Calvin is staying strong, he’s keeping in this match. He’s hoping Axel gets frustrated and tries something silly soon. Axel on the attack again, landing an elbow drop to the sternum of Calvin Szechstein. The MMA star picks Calvin up by his hair, much like Cal did to him earlier. Axel locks him in a clinch, and starts landing knees to his midsection, vicious knee after vicious knee, wearing down Calvin! COLE Hard knees time after time by Axel, you have to wonder how much of this Calvin can take! It appears the answer to that is not much more, as Calvin drops to the canvas like a sack of shit, causing Axel to step back for a moment, not expecting him to go down. Axel tries to pick Cal up, but no luck, as he seems to be drained. Axel tries again, and this time Cal’s plan is revealed, as he connects with a thumb to the eye, momentarily blinding Axel, and sending him staggering backwards! COACH Calvin doing a little lying and cheating! CABOOSE And, like when Eddie did it, it worked like a charm. Calvin regains his bearings and walks over to Axel, stomping on his foot to add insult to injury. Axel clutches at his foot, and a few laughs escape the crowd, who think this is comedy, but the next act assures them that it is not comedy. Calvin boots Axel in the stomach, hooks his head, and PLANTS him with a DDT with so much force that Axel does a somersault and lands on his back! COACH My god, what a DDT! CABOOSE But can he follow it up? Calvin, still feeling the effects of the vicious attack he was subjected to only a few moments ago, falls to one knee and clutches his head and neck, the two body parts that experiences the most damage. Finally, he has enough sense to go for the cover, but once again fails to hook the legs… ONNNNNEEEEEE!!!!!!!! TWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOONO!!! Axel kicks out due to his legs being free, but not until after two and a half. Calvin follows the DDT up with some shots to the head of Axel, before picking him up and taking him down with a back suplex. Landing on the back of his head, Axel is momentarily stunned, and even more so when Calvin grabs both his legs and floats over into a pinning predicament!! OOOONNNNNNEEEEEE!!!!!! TTTTWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOO!!!!!! NOOOOOOO!!! Axel gets a shoulder off of the canvas, despite the very tough pin by General Manager Calvin Szechstein. COLE Very nice float over, Calvin had Axel worried for a moment there. COACH Absolutely, see, I told you that if Calvin was resilient that he’d come back! CABOOSE That was me, you bald idiot. COACH Bald by choice. CABOOSE Either way, you look like a tool. COACH :cries: The referee checks on both men, who are gassing at this point, due to the beatings that they have both taken so far. But with such high stakes in this match, both men knew that they would have to win purely on adrenaline. It’s just a matter of when that adrenaline kicks in. Calvin sits Axel up and applies the good old sleeper, taking advantage of his weakened state, and the energy he used to kick out of the two pinfalls. COLE Calvin really wrenching in that sleeper, cutting off most of the air to Axel’s brain. Axel is fading! Indeed he is fading, and it is clear, as the arm that was once trying to break free from the sleeper is now slowly dropping down Axel’s side, showing less and less signs of life. Calvin asks the referee to check on the state of his opponent, hoping Axel is totally knocked out due to the lack of air. The referee raises Axel’s arm once… ..it DROPS! The crowd groan, as if they can see what’s coming. Then, something happens. Axel suddenly gets a rush. No elbows, no shaking, just a rush. He somehow gets to his feet, and pushes Calvin away. Like a raging bull Axel goes after his opponent, backing Calvin into the corner, and burying his shoulder into the GM’s midsection like was done to him earlier. Twice now. Three times. Calvin, short of breath, gasps, and tries to get out of the corner. Axel connects with a hard forearm, and lifts Cal up so that the GM is sitting on the top rope. Axel joins Cal on the turnbuckles, and reveals his intentions, trying to hook Calvin in a front face lock. He does so, and grabs the tights of the GM with the other hand, to try and take him over for a superplex. COLE Dangerous for both men up there! Axel tries once, but Calvin holds on. He punches Cal for good measure, tries again, same result. He tries a third time, but Calvin somehow uses Axel’s momentum against him, grabbing [i]his[/i] tights and sending him crashing down to the mat face first in a front suplex. Axel clutches at his sternum after the collision with the mat, and goes about getting back up to his feet. COACH Great reversal by Calvin, who knows what he’s going for now. Calvin shifts his legs and shakes the cobwebs out, before standing up, and a ascending to the top rope. Axel, on his feet now, turns around to see this, and runs up the turnbuckles to meet his foe! With both men on the top it’s a fight to see who can pull off what, with Calvin looking to force Axel down to the mat perhaps with an STO, and Axel trying something, but we aren’t sure what yet. Calvin lands a shot to the head of Axel, Axel lands an elbow back, Calvin tries a shot, but it gives Axel an opening to duck, hook Calvin over the shoulder and around the waist… …TOP ROPE T-BONE SUUUUPPPLLLEEEEXXXX!!!!! “UUUUWWWWWAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!” COLE OH MY GOD! COACH HOLY CRAP! The referee, hands on his head in shock, sees both men down on the mat, a big distance from each other, as Axel threw Calvin halfway across the ring with the T-Bone. He checks both men, who don’t seem to be moving, and begins the dreaded ten count! COLE These guys have to answer a ten count, but I’ll be damned if they can after that move! COACH That was insane. A top rope T-Bone suplex, Calvin could have landed squarely on his head, but fortunately his momentum meant he landed on his back. ONE! TWWWWWWOOOOOO!!!! TTTTHHHHRRREEEEEEEE!!!!!!! FOOOOOOUUUUUURRRRRRRR!!!!! Neither man is moving, and the referee really doesn’t want to be fired for counting his boss out, so he counts a little slower… FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! SIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!! SSSSSEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVEEEEEENNNNN!!!!!! EEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGHHHHHHHTTTTTTT!!! Axel starts to stir… Calvin does the same… NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! Axel up to one knee, Calvin using the ropes to help himself up… TEEEEEE-NO! Axel is up! Calvin joins him! Both men are very much worse for ware after that T-Bone, but both men are up! Axel charges at Calvin, but he is stopped by a boot to the midsection! Right hand by Cal knocks Axel backward! Forearm by Axel rocks Calvin’s boat! Right by Calvin again! Forearm by Axel again! Calvin goes for a clothesline, Axel ducks, Calvin charges… …INTO A SPIIIINNNNEEEEBUUSSSSTTAAAHHHHH~!~! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAHHH!!!!” Axel, fired up now, goes for a cover… ONEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! TWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! THR-NO!!!!!! Calvin gets a shoulder up before the referee can count three. COLE Big Spinebuster by Axel. He may have a lot of influence from Mixed Martial Arts, but he can still throw that Spinebuster with the best of them! Axel asks the referee about the count, thinking that it should have been one more than it was. He soon goes back to the task at hand, however, grabbing Calvin once again, and bringing the General Manager to his feet. Holding Calvin up by the hair, Axel connects with a tough right forearm, then a left, then a right, and starts laying in the forearms thick and fast! COACH Calvin is being rocked with every shot, and now Axel is moving in for the kill! Axel grabs Calvin’s head again and catches the GM in a front face lock, hooking the tights… COLE We saw this against Jingus, Axel is going to try that Brainbuster! COACH Not to mention the knee drop! Axel lifts Calvin high in the air, looking for the brainbuster… but Calvin struggles free, and slips down Axel’s back, taking a few steps away from his adversary! Axel turns around… …SUPERKICK KNOCKS HIM THE FUCK DOWN! COLE WHAT A KNOCKOUT SHOT! CABOOSE He’s out. CALVIN FALLS ON TOP OF AXEL FOR THE COVER! ONEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! THRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! COLE How…how in the HELL did Axel kick out of that? CABOOSE Gotta be instinct. That’s the only explanation. Calvin is in SHOCK that Axel kicked out of the superkick, as is everyone else in the arena, who felt for sure that Axel was knocked out by the shot. The General Manager shows his frustrations now, slapping the mat, and arguing with the referee about the speed of the count. Standing up, Calvin makes a cutting motion with his arms, signalling that he is going for the end. Axel gets up, and is immediately placed in a standing headscissors! COLE The Clash! Calvin is going for the Clash! Calvin lifts Axel up for the Clash… but Axel uses the momentum to change it to a hurricanrana position, taking advantage of Calvin’s shock, and landing a stiff forearm to the side of his head! Calvin tries to get Axel down for the Clash, but Axel slips behind the GM! Reverse Firemans Carry Pickup by Axel, he steadies… …PSYCHO DRIVER AXEL SLAM! CALVIN LANDS ON HIS HEAD! COLE OH MY GOD! THAT WAS SICK! ONEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! TWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!” COLE HE’S DONE IT! *DING DING DING!!!* COACH The OAOAST is about to change! A new era is about to arrive! CABOOSE We’ve got a new boss, guys! COLE What a move that was! A sit out Axel Slam! We’ve never seen that before! That was insane! Axel’s arm is raised by the referee as he recuperates in the corner, “I’m on a High” beginning in the background. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your winner, and… NEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWW GENERAL MANAGER OF HEEEELLLDDD DDOOOOWWWWNNN… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAXXXXXELLLLLLLLLLLL~!~!~! The crowd roars in appreciation, not because they wanted Calvin to lose, but more because they wanted Axel to win. The referee raises his hand once again, and now standing, Axel motions to ringside for a microphone, and then motions for his music to be cut. COLE The new GM, wanting the floor, which is only fair. AXEL WOW! Boys and girls, I told you I’d be the new boss, and here I am. Now, I know that Charleston, South Carolina is excited… “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHTHATSWHEREWELIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” AXEL …so I’ve got a little surprise for everyone out there. You see, I’m in charge now, and that means that not only do I get the best damn office in the world, but I get to give you, the fans, what you want! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!” AXEL Now, Calvin, you were great, don’t get me wrong. You did a stand up job as General Manager. But with my first announcement as GM, I’m going to completely eclipse everything you did. You see boys and girls, after HeldDown Thursday night, I jumped on the phone, and I called a little town on the West Coast. And there was a guy on the other side of that phone that greeted my call as he always does, with a “hello”, and a “how the fuck you doin’ man?” Well, we chatted for a bit, and when I finished that call to Las Vegas, Navada… “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!” COLE Oh don’t tell me! AXEL Oh yes, I’m serious. When I finished that call, it was all set. He’s coming back boys and girls….. RAGDOLL. Is coming BACK! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!” TRIPLE C :O AXEL That was my reaction too. So there you have it, a little taste of what’s going to be happening in this company while I’m the boss. And you’d better believe I’ll be watching our Main Event tonight very, very closely. “I’M ON A HIGH!” COLE RAGDOLL IS COMING BACK! AXEL HAS PULLED OFF THE MOTHER OF ALL COUPS! COACH Because of their match last year, Axel was the only guy that could have brought Ragdoll back! But he did it! He did it for the fans! Ragdoll is coming back to the OAOAST! What a start to the Axel regime! CABOOSE I must say guys; that was a hell of an announcement. I still don’t believe it. But the question is, will we see Axel out here again tonight? He already interfered at Climax, and he’s the boss now, so he can do whatever he damn well pleases. This is going to be a wild Main Event. COLE What a night it has been so far! The OAOAST Championship is on the line, NEXT!

I didn't think she'd be 40. Mid 30's, perhaps.

With the way the Pistons are playing, it won't get to seven.

I agree. Hell, I'd only heard the name previously. That's probably because I've only been watching UFC two months, but still.

F1 and the World Cup of Soccer will be covered, definitely. If others want to help out with a monthly round-table discussion of all sports outside the US, say in here. Oh, and Leena has me on ignore? I feel special.

KC probably thought it'd fit in one post and it got cut off. KC, you're usually on late due to your British-ness, so feel free to edit the end of the show in when you can, put the Rumble across two posts if its too long.

RODEZ But, that means Black T win, right? *DINGDINGDING!* COLE ...I guess so!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DAN BLACK ENTERED: 5th LEFT: 9th ELIMINATED: Christian Wright, Bohemoth ELIMINATED BY: Tony Brannigan LEFT IN RING: Tony Brannigan ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SIMON SINGLETON ENTERED: 2nd LEFT: 10th ELIMINATED: Bohemoth ELIMINATED BY: Tony Brannigan LEFT IN RING: Tony Brannigan ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TONY BRANNIGAN ENTERED: 12th LEFT: N/A ELIMINATED: Bohemoth, Frank Frankensteiner, Dan Black, Simon Singleton ELIMINATED BY: N/A ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brannigan smiles and raises an eyebrow in Leon Rodez's direction, as if to say 'how'dya like them apples', if Tony would ever say anything so clichéd that is. Standing up, Rodez smirks right back and stares Tony down. On the outside meanwhile, Dan Black sits up, glaring at Tony...until he realises what's going on that is. Sure, he got eliminated. But, Black T win anyway. Tony's the only man left. Or, is he? COLE HEY...IT'S NED BLANCHARD!! RODEZ Wha... Black tries to warn Tony...but it's too late. He's already toppling... ...already falling over the top... ...already eliminated! COLE Wait...DAMNIT, NO! RODEZ You've got to be kidding me. COLE NOT LIKE THIS...HE HIS UNDER THE RING THE ENTIRE DAMN RUMBLE!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TONY BRANNIGAN ENTERED: 12th LEFT: 11th ELIMINATED: Bohemoth, Frank Frankensteiner, Dan Black, Simon Singleton ELIMINATED BY: Ned Blanchard LEFT IN RING: Ned Blanchard ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ NED BLANCHARD ENTERED: 3rd LEFT: N/A ELIMINATED: Tony Brannigan ELIMINATED BY: N/A ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the Lethal Rumble Match... "NARCISSISTIC" NNEEEEDD BBLLLAAAAANNCCHHHAAARRRDD!! COLE NOOOO!! BUFFER Therefore...your number one contenders to the OAOAST World Tag Team Champions... THE NEW, NEW MIDNIGHT EXPRESS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Haha! The smartest man in the world, the smartest by FAR! You all forgot about him, for the entire match! Ned, I love ya buddy, you're the best! Throwing down his headset, Rodez glares into the ring as Ned soaks up his victory with unmittigated glee. Simon Singleton rolls into the ring and man-hugs Ned as the celebrations kick into full gear, leaving Leon Rodez with a sick taste in his mouth. And Black T, sat side by side on the floor, unable to believe how royally screwed they were.

The show is up in Home Entertainment. Finally.

I'd still hit it. ...well someone was going to say it at some point anyway.

I thought for sure they'd put Penn-GSP on PPV. Fair enough, way to spike (heh, heh) ratings. Put the winner of that in a title match at UFC 60.

Okay cats and kittens, all I need are PRL's last two segments, and I'll be able to move the show to HE.

Foreign Sports is something I came up with. There are a few Aussies and Brits on the board, so some columns about international sports such as cricket, soccer, and yes, even boring old tennis, would go there.

BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen...it is now time...FOR THE LETHAL RUMBLE MATCH!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" *GOOOOONG!* "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Huh? "C'mon man" "DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK..." But hold on just a minute, as "Mama Said Knock You Out" hits and one half of the Tag Team Champions, Leon Rodez, suddenly emerges through the curtains! The crowd go nuclear! for Leon as he jogs down the aisle, merrily tagging hands and in some cases, palm striking people as he misses their hands. But it's all good, because everyone loves Leon Rodez! Stopping at the ring, Rodez glances around the corner towards the announce table, where he's presumably heading...but, instead, takes a detour into the ring and poses for the crowd! COACH What the hell is this!?! He ain't in the Rumble, this has nothing to do with him! COLE Nothing to do with him? Coach, he's one half of the Tag Team Champions, of course it has something to do with him! Rodez does a little jig over across the ring and leaves with a beaming smile on his face, strolling over to the announce table. No second warning needed, Caboose abandons his headset and trots off to the back before his brain can be melted. Rodez takes the seat gladly and settles himself in. BUFFER At this time, I will go over the rules. Lame, I know, but it has to be done. In just a moment, the two men who drew numbers one and two will enter the match. Then, every two minutes afterwards, another superstar will enter the Lethal Rumble according to the number they drew. Eliminations occur when a wrestler is thrown over the top rope and BOTH feet touch the floor. The remaining wrestler, or in the event of two team-mates remaining wrestlers, after all 12 Men have entered will win the Lethal Rumble and earn himself and his partner a shot at the OAOAST World Tag Team Championships at AnglePalooza! RODEZ Yawn! I liked this guy better when he was a horribly mutated unlockable character on Ready 2 Rumble. BUFFER And now...introducing the man who drew Number 1! To the delight of the crowd, a small platoon of male and female dancers emerge onto the stage and start to do just that...dance! Three yellow lights shine down on the stage as "We Be Burnin'" by Sean Paul hits, making the dancers' dancing make slightly more sense. Slightly. Already, the fans know what's coming, as suddenly BOOOOOOOM~! Green pyro rockets fire upwards. The dancers are luckily unharmed and they dance on, as The Marv emerges through the sliding doors. Apparantly, after much switch-a-rooing, he ended up with Number 1 for his team and he doesn't look thrilled. BUFFER Now residing in Laguna Beach, California! He weighs in at one hundred, eighty five pounds and represents THE SK8TER BOIZ! He is... TTHHHEEEEEE MMMMAAAAAARRRRVVV!!!! The crowd pop for The Marv, as he slides into the ring and climbs the turnbuckles to salute them. Trying to preserve his energy, Marv doesn't go too strenuous of a warm-up as he waits patiently for his first opponent. RODEZ Holy crap, when did this guy discover what a gym was? COLE The Marv says he owes all his physical success to Krista Isadora Duncan's fitness videos. And, NRG products...but, we're not supposed to mention that. Michael Cole Pose! Shoelace! Cole does his "Shoelace" pose. RODEZ Woah woah, wait a minute, wait a minute. Krista DID make fitness videos? I thought that was all a gimmick? Wow...maybe we should do a video cross-over, if you catch my drift. Leon Pose! Stud! Rodez does his "Stud" pose, which basically consists of winking at a female behind him, who promptly swoons. BUFFER And, introducing the man who drew number two! Boos soon fill the air as "Chase" from the "Midnight Express" soundtrack by Giorgio Moroder hits. Jim Cornette leads the way, tennis racket pointing towards the ring, as "The Sultan Of Sarcasm" Simon Singleton emerges behind him. BUFFER Hailing from Charlestown, South Carolina and weighing in at two hundred and twenty five pounds. Representing THE NEW, NEW MIDNIGHT EXPRESS! "SARCASTIC" SSSSIIIIIIMMMOOOOOOONN SSSSIIIINNGGLLLLEEEEEETTOOOOOOONN!!! COACH Oh no! No wonder Jimmy was so unhappy! RODEZ And notice, it's Simon Singleton who got the bad luck! First teaming with that over-inflated ego on a man's body Ned Blanchard, now this! Singleton stalks to the ring with Cornette. But the referees soon move in and stop Cornette, seeing as managers aren't allowed to stay at ringside. Cornette, as if not furious enough before, goes into freak out mode and swings his racket around like a madman, narrowly missing the referees who order Cornette away. And, begrudgingly, Cornette does so. Leaving Singleton alone as he slides into the ring. The Marv backs into a neutral corner (well, they're all neutral I guess) and gives Singleton his space. *DINGDINGDING!* The bell rings and we're off and running. Well...not running. Walking, as Simon and Marv cautiously circle each other in the centre of the ring. Marv looks ready to lock up, but Singleton backs off just as he gets within arms reach. Shrugging, Marv is happy to take his time too. After all, the less punishment he takes in the first two minutes, the fresher he'll be for the other 18 plus. Assuming he gets that far. COLE Neither man is too anxious to get going here, which is understandable. There's a minimum of twenty minutes to go if they want to win this match so neither wants to over-exert too early. Finally, The Marv and Simon move in and Simon looks to initiate a knuckle lock. Marv swats it away though, latching on a side headlock. Shots connect to the ribs immediately as Simon wastes no time in backing Marv up into the ropes and sending him off. But Marv's once puny grip is strong now and he's able to hold onto the headlock! Skidding to his knees, Marv cranks up on the headlock. So Simon tries new strategy, backing Marv back up towards the ropes...and this time, lifting one of his legs off the mat, trying to tip him out of the ring! Marv frantically scrambles free and scurries to the middle of the ring, causing a stand-off. Marv shakes his head, knowing that he's got to be a bit more elusive than that, while Singleton smiles wryly. The two men then begin to lock up again...but this time, Marv ducks behind and waits for Singleton to turn back around... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOOO!!" ...and RAWKs him with a knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOOO!!" ...and another! Singleton staggers away from the effects of the now meaty arm of The Marv, right up against the ropes. In follows Marv with a knee to the gut, followed by a quick forearm flurry. Singleton falls to one knee, giving Marv chance to throw up some RAWK~! But that in turn gives chance for Singleton to catch Marv with a quick jab to the gut. Away staggers The Marv, as Singleton pulls himself and swings with a clothesli...DUCKED! The Marv avoids the shot and leaps to the middle rope, rotating himself back around to wipe out Singleton with a beautiful crossbody block!! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh yeah, Marv looking good! RODEZ Yeah and that was a pretty good crossbody too. COLE I...didn't mean it like...that. RODEZ Sure. The Marv leaps back up, catching Singleton as he recovers and unloading with some quick right hands. Three, four, five connect, backing Simon up a couple of steps. That gives Marv room for a run-up, hitting the ropes and dropkicking Singleton in the jaw! Singleton's head snaps back and he goes careering backwards, right into the ropes. His arms hook around the top rope and there he stays, as Marv charges in a second time, again with a dropkick... ...sending Simon up and over... ...NO! Singleton hangs onto the top rope and swings himself straight back through the middle and top ropes in one swift Tarzan-like movement! Scrambling to his feet, Singleton then wastes no time in wiping out Marv from behind as The Sk8ter Boi had already turned back to the entrance to wait for number three. COLE Fantastic athleticism shown by Simon Singleton, which will serve him well in a match like this. RODEZ At least until guys like Tony and Bohemoth get out here. Putting the boots to The Marv, Singleton is back in control. As such, he picks Marv up and casually sends him into the ropes with an irish whip. Simon buries a punch into the gut, dropping Marv to his knees. Off the ropes rushes Singleton after that, following up with a Swinging Neckbreaker which drops Marv on the back of the head! COLE That's usually the set-up for the Vegomatic! But not tonight. The Sultan Of Sarcasm glances an eye on the Lethal Rumble Timer which is counting down on the big screen. Twenty-five seconds and counting. Still time to pull The Marv back to his feet and send him off the ropes. As Marv rebounds, Singleton casually sticks out a knee...but, too casually. Marv rolls through the knee shot and cradles Simon over. No pins, but that doesn't matter, as Marv has other plans. Hooking up the legs, Marv falls back quickly, slingshotting Singleton head-first into the...RINGPOST!! Simon carries over the turnbuckles, head-first into the ringpost, which ironically stops him from going the rest of the way over the top! Rushing over, Marv grabs Singleton's legs and tries to tip him the rest of the way over anyway, as the Lethal Rumble timer rolls it's merry way down. "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" COLE We're ready for Number Three here! "SEVEN!" "SIX!" COACH And Simon could do with some help, because Marv has him teetering! "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" With Singleton teetering, The Marv pays no attention to the entrance and concentrates his effort on trying to dump The Sultan Of Sarcasm out... *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* But unfortunately for The Marv, the familiar strains of "Chase" hit again and NED BLANCHARD comes sprinting down the aisle!! COACH YEAH-UH~! RODEZ Oh great, this guy. BUFFER From Beverly Hills, California... representing THE NEW, NEW MIDNIGHT EXPRESS! "NARCISSISTIC" NNNEEEEEEEEEDDD BBLLAAAAAAAANNCCHHHHAAAAARRRRDD!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Ned slides headlong into the ring and immediately pulls The Marv off of his partner, who promptly collapses groggily in the corner. Meanwhile, Ned goes to work. Hard right hands slam into the side of The Marv's head, followed up by a straight kick to the gut! Marv is already reeling, as the martial arts expert and all-round handsome man Ned Blanchard puts Marv down with a hard clothesline. COLE On the surface, drawing numbers 2 and 3 was terrible news for The New, New Midnight Express. But when you think about it, this is good for Jim Cornette's boys. They have the chance to now double-team the rest of the field from the start and if they get their act together, could keep a 2 on 1 advantage through the whole Lethal Rumble! COACH Haha! Jim Cornette, ALWAYS thinking! COLE Well, not really. It's not as if Cornette chose the numbers. After a brief pause to check on his partner, the cocky Blanchard swaggers back over to The Marv. Another stiff, straight kick raps off of The Marv's washboard abs. Ned then drags Marv into the centre of the ring by the hair. Scoop...and a slam! Followed by a blatant but perfectly legal choke with the flat of the boot. Marv struggles for air from the choke, but there's no-one to help him out and no reason why Ned can't keep the choke applied for as long as he darn well pleases. "NED - DY SUCKS!" "NED - DY SUCKS!" "NED - DY SUCKS!" "NED - DY SUCKS!" Finally releasing the choke, Ned pulls Marv up. A disrespectful slap to the face draws the ire of the Sk8ter fans in the crowd who get even more on Ned's case than before. Ned is just stalling for time though, slapping Marv again while he waits for his partner to stagger over. Giving the signal, Ned then sends Marv off into the ropes. Ned and Simon then position themselves, catching a leg each and launching Marv up...before bringing him DOWN with a Flapjack!! COLE Double Flapjack! A Midnight Express speciality! Leaping to the middle rope, Ned flashes a smug smile and raises his arms in the air as a few fans leap up and hurl some abuse, so Ned informs them that he is infact their biological father. That doesn't go down too well, but ah well. Simon grabs the poor Marv by the legs, dragging his limp frame over towards the corner where Ned stands and sets him in place. NED THIS IS FOR YOU, BABY! ...Ned informs one stunner in the second row before THRUSTING his crotch in her direction! Ned then performs a little sultry hip swivel, before coming off the middle rope with a driving elbow to the sternum! COLE Look at the cockiness of Ned Blanchard, pure arrogance. Who the hell does this guy think he is? RODEZ "Sweet" Stan Lane? COLE ...yeah, maybe. Marv is in trouble now, as The New, New Midnight Express casually discuss some strategy. Simon can be seen telling Ned that they should "throw this gnarly dude out". Wagging his finger, Ned doesn't agree. Taking Marv off the mat, Ned grabs Marv by the arm and sends him hard back-first into the turnbuckles! The force sends Marv staggering out, back into Ned who takes Marv in his arms, as if going for a Spinebuster. Ned bucks the trend though, becoming the first superstar in history not to hit a SPINEBUSTAAA~! from spinebuster position, instead leaning Marv's upper body back and signalling for Simon to go up top. Needing no second telling, Simon scales the turnbuckles, ignoring the booing of the baying crowd and coming off with the Legdrop to complete the Vegomatic!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE I think The Marv may be done. RODEZ Then perhaps these two brain surgeons should, you know, throw him out. Seeing as, you know, that's the point of the match. Maybe then they'd, you know, win. However, The Midnights are too concerned with showing off. And, in particular, "Narcissistic" Ned is too concerned with pointing a finger down at Leon Rodez and making the "title" motion. Simon meanwhile does the smart thing and goes back to work on Marv, stomping him into the canvas. Some of the crowd try to will on The Marv. But others see no hope... ...except the Lethal Rumble countdown, which is reaching chanting time! "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" The New, New Midnights turn to the entrance, happy that Marv is suitably beaten down. COLE Let's hope this is some help for The Marv! "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "Slither" by Velvet Revolver kicks in, over audible groans from the fans. COACH YEAH! UPSTARTS, REPRESENTIN'!! BUFFER From Raleigh, North Carolina... representing THE UPSTARTS! "THE NATURAL"... CCHHHRRRRIIIISSSSTTIIIIIAAAAAANN WWWWRRRIIIIIGGHHTT!!! The HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion takes his sweet time in making his way down the aisle. Back in the ring, smiles wash over The New, New Midnight Express' faces as CW casually gives them the signal to carry on as they were while he strolls. RODEZ Well, isn't this another buzzkill? COLE It is for The Marv, certainly. This is virtually three on one from the looks of Christian Wright as he enters the ring. He's just backing off and letting Ned and Simon get on with it. Indeed, Wright immediately goes to a corner upon entering the ring and lounges back against the turnbuckles. Ned and Simon can therefore pick their spots on The Marv. A right hand from Simon. Quick kick from Ned. Another right from Simon. Spinning savate kick, burying itself in Marv's gut! Marv drops to his knees, gasping for breath, as Ned and Simon grab a hand of hair a-piece. Nodding to each other, The New, New Midnight Express then run The Marv to the ropes and hurl him over the top rope... ...AND TO THE APRON!! COACH Turn around guys, TURN AROUND!! RODEZ Yeah, turn around. COACH Huh? No, wait, in that case don't turn around. RODEZ No no, you've already told them to turn around now Coachman. Don't be sending out those mixed signals. We've all heard about you and those 'mixed signals'. Eventually, Simon and Ned do turn around, thanks to a little encouragement from Christian Wright. As they do turn around though, The Marv finds the strength and energy to vault to the top rope and springboard into the ring, wiping Simon and Ned out with a Springboard Double Clothesline!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" THE MARV THANK YOU KRISTAAAAAAA... *SMACK!* But The Marv's K.I.D praising earns him a Superkick from Christian Wright, who suddenly launches out of the corner! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Scrambling over to where The Marv eventually comes to a stop, Wright hauls the Sk8ter Boi up. Ducking low, Wright then picks the KOed Marv up into a Fireman's Carry, carrying him over to the ropes... ...AND DUMPING HIM OUT!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And there's the first elimination, diminishing The Sk8ter Boiz chances of going to AnglePalooza significantly. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE MARV ENTERED: 1st LEFT: 1st ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Christian Wright LEFT IN RING: Simon Singleton, Ned Blanchard, Christian Wright ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Marv lies motionless on the arena floor as the boos rain themselves down upon Christian Wright. The HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion is unconcerned though, shrugging off the boos as he walks across the ring and helps Simon Singleton to his feet. Ned has rolled to a safe position under the turnbuckles already, so Simon is glad of the help. Until Wright tugs him into a short-arm clothesline! RODEZ Oh yeah, he's moral, huh? COACH SWERVE! Haha, CDub's takin' care of business baby! RODEZ You know, part of me's hoping that Christian and his big dumb buddy actually do win, just so I can get my hands on him at AnglePalooza. The other part of me is too busy reading this Playboy I brought out here with me. Otherwise, I might be 100% behind him. Or, at least paying more attention. The crowd are split, as Wright pulls Singleton straight back up and drags him over to the ropes. Wright then looks to eliminate Singleton, getting one of his legs up over the ropes and looking for the second. All Singleton can do is make himself as awkward to manouvere as possible. Luckily for Simon, Ned is back up by now. And despite being shocked to see his partner nearing elimination at Christian Wright's hands, Ned leaps into action and clubs CW in the back to break things up. Ned continues the onslaught on Wright, joined soon by Singleton who has recovered his bearings. The Midnights lead Wright over to the ropes and Simon shoots for a leg, but Ned has other ideas as he calls for a double whip. Ducking their heads, The Midnights set up for the Flapjack. But Wright puts the brakes on and boots Singleton hard in the shoulder blade, sending him reeling away. Ned emerges from his crouching position to see his partner retreating and throws a panicky clothesline, which Wright ducks and counters into an STO! With The Handsome Hustler down, Wright then charges over and tackles Singleton with a double-leg into the ropes, then tries to haul him all the way over and out. COACH Yeah! Chuck him out! COLE You were routing for the New, New Midnights five minutes ago, or did you forget that? COACH Stable pride, brah! RODEZ But, you're not actually an Upstart. COACH Yeah...but...I mean, you know...C'MON CDUB! Wright manages to get both of Singleton's legs up this time and The Sultan Of Sarcasm is teetering on the top rope! Sitting up, Blanchard shakes out the cobwebs and looks around for his partner. And yet again, Ned has to come to the rescue, crawling over and grabbing Wright's ankle. That proves enough of an irritance for Wright to abandon Simon and go after Ned. "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* The crowd erupt as "Quiet" by Smashing Pumpkins hits, causing black smoke to come pouring out of the entrance way! And soon from that smoke, Dan Black bursts through and jogs to the ring. BUFFER From London England... representing BLACK T! "THE ICE HEART"... DDAAAAAAAAAAANN BBBLLLLLAAAAAAAAAACCKK!! Wright continues his attack on Blanchard, as Black reaches the ring. So, The Ice Heart goes after the first person he can get to, which happens to be Simon Singleton. Black meets him with a boot to the gut, then tucks his arm under Singleton's head and pops him overhead with an Exploder Suplex! Moving on, Black now pulls his recent enemy Christian Wright into reach, snapping off a European uppercut to send him crashing across the ring. Ned Blanchard is next, reaching his feet only to be nailed in the back of the head with a Shining Black (Shining Enziguri)! COLE Dan Black is cleaning house and this crowd loves it! Who'd have ever thought a man like Dan Black would be getting this sort of reaction again? With all of his three opponents down, Black now picks his spots and goes after his Upstart rival Christian Wright. He pulls Wright up and rocks him with a European uppercut in the corner! And another! A third! Wright is reeling now, as Black rears back... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOOO!!" ...and unleashes a knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOOO!!" ...and a second! How about a third? *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOOO!!" ...okay then! Wright doesn't particularly look happy about it, but nobody cares about him do they? Especially not Dan Black, who hoists Christian up into a fireman's carry. Turning out of the corner, Black then breaks into a run towards the centre of the ring and looks to plant CW right on his dome with a Running DVD. However, Wright manages to squirm free of Black's grasp and lands behind. Catching Black, Wright then pops his hips and drops Dan back into a Saito Suplex (high angle back suplex)!! COACH YEAH! RODEZ Is he always this bad? COLE And then some. Coming to his feet, Wright puts the badmouth onto Dan Black. But from behind, Ned Blanchard pounces with a hard kick to the kidneys! At the same time, Simon Singleton is also up and he goes after Black. Ned drags Wright across the ring to the corner, trying to dump him out over the top. While The Handsome Hustler concentrates on that, Singleton picks The Ice Heart up and rushes him towards the ropes, sending him off the other side as he hits the ropes himself. The two are on a collision course, until Black suddenly tumbles low, avoiding an Axe Bomber style clothesline! Singleton screeches to a hold, turning around in confusion... KICK *WHAM* BLACKOU... ...NO! Singleton counters, pushing Black off into the ropes. As he rebounds, Dan fires off a clothesline but he too doesn't find his mark. Turning around just in time, the wily Ned spots a chance and rushes away from Wright into the centre of the ring, just in time for he and Singleton to catch Black by surprise and plant him with a patented double-team Flapjack!! COLE And again, the New, New Midnights' team advantage proves telling! Stumbling out of the corner, Christian Wright looks to catch The Midnights by surprise. They catch him however, each landing a boot to the gut before Ned loads The Natural into the ropes. A drop-toe-hold from Ned then sets up and elbow from Singleton, right to the back of the head. COLE Blanchard and Singleton look imperious at the moment! RODEZ They look pretty unbeatable too. COLE Well, so long as they can keep this advantage and start throwing opponents out before their partners get in, it may be the New, New Midnights' match to win here. Ned and Simon decide to put some boots to Wright and to Black to pass the time, while they wait for the Rumble timer to count down to... "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" Stopping his stomping, Ned pats Simon on the back and points him to the entrance. "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" COLE And now, the New, New Midnight Express are just waiting on number six! "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "Frankenstein" by Edgar Winter suddenly cues and the NNMX freak out! Because the Psycho Gremlin, Frankie Frankensteiner, is jogging to the ring! The time Frankie takes is allowing Black and Wright to recover, but neither Midnight is paying attention. BUFFER Hailing from Oklahoma... representing THE SOONER BRUISERS! "THE PSYCHO GREMLIN"... FFFFRRRRRAAAANNKKIIIIIEEEE FFFFRRRRAAAANNKKEEENNSSSTTEEEIIINNEEERRRR!!! RODEZ Would it be fair to say that business has picked up? JIVIN' JR BAH GAWD, SOONER BRUISER! SOONER BRUISER!! RODEZ Hey, he IS still alive! In slides Frankie...but he gets jumped immediately by Ned and Simon! The NNMX duo clubbers down on Frankie with overhand forearms, which to be honest look just a tad girly. Frankie shrugs the blows off though and begins to climb to his feet, continuing to shrug off the best efforts of Ned and Simon before SHOVING them both away!! Ned and Simon roll through the double push. But only Simon charges in afterwards, while Ned retreats to the safety of the furthest away corner. And Ned proves to be the smarter of the two, as his partner gets his chest caved in with a SOONERLINE!! COLE Good Lord, what a clothesline that is!! Ned continues to cower in the corner, as Frankie jogs around the ring in a maniacal circle. Before the Psycho Gremlin can spot Ned though, Christian Wright is up. Automatically making him next in line for a monstrous, murderous SOONERLINE!! From across the ring, Ned's eyes light up in fear. COLE And Frankie, the fresh man, is running through the four weakened opponents around him! RODEZ You know, from what I've seen, these Frankensteiners have really improved in the past few months. But, then again, I could be totally wrong. It has been known. "WOOF!" "WOOF!" "WOOF!" "WOOF!" "WOOF!" Frankie does another circuit of the ring, barking merrily. Yes, it doesn't sound exactly like 'woof woof woof', but you get the picture. Nervously, Ned steps himself out of the ring and hides on the apron, while Frankie comes to a stop. Not waiting around to be clotheslined, Dan Black charges. He gets a backdrop for his trouble though, sending him high up in the air before he inevitably crashes back down to earth! Next in line...The Handsome Hustler. Only, he isn't there anymore. COLE Wait...wait, what's Ned doing? RODEZ I think he needs a change of underwear. COLE No! Well, maybe. But, look, Ned is hiding under the ring! That damn coward, Ned Blanchard, is hiding under the ring to get away from Frankie Frankensteiner! COACH That's not fear, that's smarts! You can't get thrown out if you're under the ring! RODEZ No, but his partner can. Simon Singleton, once again the forgotten man of the New, New Midnight Express, eh? Frankie is, understandably, confused. But he simply figures that Ned had already been thrown out while he was murderising people with Soonerlines and thinks no more of it, instead lining up Dan Black. Black slowly clambers back to his feet unaware of what's waiting for him. Namely, a SOONERLINE... ...NO! Countered, into the Heart Of Ice (Crippler Crossface)!!!! "YYEEEEEEAAAHHHH!!" COLE Beautiful counter! Brains over brawn, working out for Dan Black! The crowd pop for the sudden counter, as Black wrenches back on the Crossface! Frankie plants his hands and tries to push himself up, but when that doesn't work he finally gives in and starts to tap like a madman! Unfortunately for Dan, there's no reward for a tapout. Except maybe some pride. So Black takes that pride with him as he mercifully lets Frankie go. Instead, he has Christian Wright in his sights, grabbing The Upstarts from his hands and knees and hauling over towards the ropes. Wright elbows Black repeatedly to force him into retreat though. Charging The Ice Heart, Wright executes a quick double leg takedown and hooks Black's legs up, dragging Dan back a few inches as he sets him up looking to slingshot him up and out of the Rumble. Before Wright can execute the move though, he gets a 'helping' hand from a Simon Singleton dropkick... ...dropping CW back... ...causing Black to be slingshotted up and over the ro... ...NO, not over! Black lands gut-first on the top rope and hangs half in, half out of the ring! Frantically, Singleton rushes over and tries to complete the job on Black. Meanwhile, up comes Frankie Frankensteiner. For some reason though, rather than help Singleton out with Black, Frankie pulls Singleton away from the ropes and throws him overhead with an Overhead Release Belly to Belly Suplex!! "WOOF!" "WOOF!" "WOOF!" "WOOF!" "WOOF!" Frankie jogs around with some more barks, replicated by the crowd. As he turns though, Christian Wright catches him coming with a Spear!! "...IGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" COLE Here comes number seven... "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "We Be Burnin'" by Sean Paul hits for the second time in the night, heralding the entrance of the second Sk8ter Boi! BUFFER Now residing in Laguna Beach, California... representing THE SK8TER BOIZ! HHHEEEEEEEELLLLLL MMMMEEEEEEEELLLLLLL!!! Mel sprints down the aisle and slides into the ring, immediately going after Christian Wright. Elsewhere, Dan Black is back on safe ground in the centre of the ring and grabs the nearest person to him, Simon Singleton, throwing him face-first into the top turnbuckle! COLE Well, the ring is filling up a little now. We have five men in with five left to enter and we're still no closer to finding out who's going to AnglePalooza. As The Sultan Of Sarcasm reels back from the turnbuckles, Dan grabs Singleton and tries to lever him out over the top. Singleton clings onto the middle rope with his leg though and he isn't going anywhere. So Dan has to change tactic, driving three hard right hands into Simon's ribs before attempting his elimination again. Still Singleton is clinging on though. Meanwhile, Hell Mel wails away on Christian Wright. Frankie Frankensteiner joins in and gives Mel a helping hand, slamming CW with hard forearms across the chest. Grabbing Wright by the arm, Frankie then whips the HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion across the ring and hard into the opposite corner! Soon following in, although not really by choice, is Hell Mel who levels Wright with a clothesline...only to turn around and get levelled himself, with a flying shoulderblock then sends him crashing backwards into Wright in the corner! Mel falls to a seated position. But Frankie pulls him up, stacking him in front of CW and driving his shoulder into the gut of Mel, which in turn squashes Wright up against the turnbuckles. COLE Not content with beating people up one at a time, Frankie's now going through the opposition in twos! As Frankie drives in a second shoulder, Singleton finally escapes Black and hops to the middle rope, catching him in the jaw with a missile dropkick! A third shoulder drives Mel and Wright together, sending them both slumping. Frankie meantime glances behind him, seeing Singleton getting up and charging him, TIPPING SINGLETON UP AND... ...NOT QUITE OUT! Singleton hangs on by the skin of his teeth, withstanding some stomps and re-entering the ring quickly. Frankie meets him with a right hand, but Simon retaliates with a sharp jab to the eyes. Frankie is temporarily blinded, allowing Singleton to turn and toss Frankie out... ...TO THE APRON! Frankie hangs onto the top rope and saves himself! COLE Two near eliminations, but both Frankie and Singleton are hanging in there. Into the ring re-emerges Frankie, Simon grabbing him in a front facelock to keep him neutralised. Meanwhile, Dan Black goes back after Christian Wright once more and grabs his hated rival, pulling him out of the corner and rocking him with another European uppercut! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOOO!!" ...and then unleashes a knifedge chop! Wright clutches at his chest and retreats across the ring, Black following him all the way. On his blindsight though, Hell Mel sneaks up on the Ice Heart and grabs him by head and tails, pitching him out... ...BUT DAN GRABS THE TOP ROPE! DAN IS HANGING ON!! COACH YEAH! HE'S GONE! COLE No he's not! COACH Yeah he is, he went over, get his ass back to the retirement home, jam him a bottle of Geritol and be done with it. Neither of Black's feet have yet hit the floor, as Mel finally realises Black is safe and walks over to him. Suddenly though, Black skins the cat back into the ring and back over Hell Mel in the process, grabbing Mel into a waistlock as soon as his feet land on the canvas and throwing him HIGH overhead with a Release German Suplex!!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Mel folds up in vile position upon landing, stacked up on the back of his neck. Before Black can so much as celebrate his move though, he gets blindsighted by a clothesline from Christian Wright! Wright drops down and applies a blatant choke to Black... ...as meanwhile, Simon Singleton's front facelock is abruptly broken, with a Release Northern Lights by Frankie Frankensteiner!! RODEZ Okay...anyone who wants to throw this guy out, that'd be...lovely. COLE Not fancying the prospect of facing The Sooner Bruisers then? RODEZ Boomer Sooner. COLE What does that even mean? RODEZ How should I know? Three men are down and only two stand- namely Christian Wright and Frankie Frankensteiner. "TEN!" "NINE!" But, they're set to be joined by another entrant. "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" Black and Frankie lock up anyway, tussling over towards the ropes. "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* And business is damn sure gonna pick up now, because the insanely cool strains of "Back In Black" by AC/DC ring out through the arena and the biggest man in the Lethal Rumble Bohemoth makes his way out, with a quick showing off of TEH GUNZ~! RODEZ Whoopee. BUFFER Hailing from Greensboro, South Carolina... he represents THE UPSTARTS! BBOOOOOOOOO - HHHEEEEEEEMMOOOOOTTHH!!!!!! The former HI-YAH Champion slides in, making an immediate beeline for his comrade Christian Wright. A hard right hand forces Frankie to break his grip on Wright and falls to his knees, where Bohemoth just brutally PUNTS him in the midsection. And again! Wright takes this opportunity to catch a breather, while his partner mows through Dan Black with a heavy-duty clothesline! COLE Bohemoth enters the Lethal Rumble at number eight and immediately, the tone of this match has changed. Suddenly, The Upstarts hold all the cards. COACH Like always dawg! W00t! Go Bo! RODEZ I miss Alix. Bohemoth leaves Black to writh on the canvas as he goes back to Frankie, who's having the laces of Christian Wright's boot raked down his face and eyes ruthlessly. Directing traffic, Wright then pulls Frankie up and throws him towards Bohemoth, who drills the Sooner Bruiser with a FRONT SPINEBUSTAAAAA~! COLE Better than that guy who doesn't work here anymore~! Fired up, Bohemoth snaps right back up to his feet with a ROAR! Wright is all business though, going through the motions of picking the motionless Frankensteiner up and setting him throat first over the top rope. Settling himself, Wright then heaves Frankie's lower body up as high as he can get it. Which isn't far. But a little help from Bohemoth aides his cause and soon Frankie is toppled up, over... ...AND OUT!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Wow! Big elimination! Frankie Frankensteiner was really impressing, but Bohemoth's arrival soon changed that! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ FRANKIE FRANKENSTEINER ENTERED: 6th LEFT: 2nd ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Christian Wright, Bohemoth LEFT IN RING: Simon Singleton, Christian Wright, Dan Black, Hell Mel, Bohemoth ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Cockily, Christian Wright dusts off his hands, making sure to point a finger towards special guest commentator Leon Rodez once they're suitably un-Soonered. Wright then calls Bohemoth towards Dan Black, who once again becomes The Upstarts' prime target. Wright hauls Dan up and just like Frankie, sets him by the ropes, before lifting him up from the legs! With enough wits about him to grab the middle rope, Black manages to prevent himself from becoming elimination number 3...but Bohemoth joins in and suddenly, The Ice Heart is in big trouble!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Dan may be on his way! The Upstarts have targetted Dan Black, just as you would expect them to!! RODEZ And notice, it's a gang attack. Who'd'a thunk it, eh Coach? Black is hoisted up into the air by the cumulative efforts of The Upstarts and only his grip around the top rope is preventing him from being thrown clear out of the ring. He's clearly in a bad position though... ...so, it's thankful that Hell Mel comes to his aid by pulling Christian Wright away and dropping him on his face with a Snapmare Driver (Fall Forward Diamond Cutter)! Mel scrambles back up and now targets Bohemoth, with a double axehandle to the back. And another. Bohemoth drops Black, more out of irritation than pain, turning to Hell Mel who would usually crap his pants and run. But, being a real man now, he forgoes the first of those things and hits the ropes, dropkicking Bohemoth in the chest. Bohemoth staggers back one, maybe two steps but feels little effect. So Mel hits the ropes again, landing a clothesline...which about the same success. RODEZ Dumb move. He needs to go low if he's going to take him out... Mel clearly doesn't hear the Tag Champion though, as he throws out a flying forearm. Big mistake. Bohemoth catches Mel in his arms with ease, in prime position for the Erotic Awakening Of B. But seeing as he can't get a pin, Bohemoth doesn't do that, instead spinning himself back towards the ropes behind him and tossing Mel with him... ...AND HURLING THE SK8TER BOI HIGH OVER THE TOP, TO THE FLOOR!!!! RODEZ Told ya! COLE Hell Mel is gone and there too go The Sk8ter Boiz's chance. Mel's bulked up, but it did him no good against the monstrous Bohemoth, who is tearing through this Lethal Rumble field in extremely short order! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ HELL MEL ENTERED: 7th LEFT: 3rd ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Bohemoth LEFT IN RING: Simon Singleton, Christian Wright, Dan Black, Bohemoth ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As referees hurry over to Mel, who landed in an ugly pile stacked on his right knee, Bohemoth goes back to Black. A hard right rocks Black into the corner. Bohemoth charges him with a short shoulder barge, then a second and a third. Backing up, Bohemoth then looks to follow up with a clothesline, but Dan is nimble enough to scoot out of the way and cause Bohemoth clothesline nothing but turnbuckle! Clutching his arm as he turns around, Bohemoth gives Black a target to aim for, taking him down Fujiwara style... "TEN!" "NINE!" ...and then, attempting to clamp in the Heart Of Ice V2! "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" Bohemoth powers away from Black though, clambering to his feet and catching Black in his arms as he charges in. The Erotic Awakening Of B is coming... "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" ...but Black counters in mid-swing, pulling Bohemoth down into the Heart Of Ice!! "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "Punishment" by BIOHAZARD hits and the first of Team Heyross, Quentin Benjamin jogs to the ring. BUFFER From Seattle, Washington... representing TEAM HEYROSS! QQQUUUUEEEENNTTIIIIIIIINN BBBEEEEEEEENNJJJJAAAAMMMIIIIIIINN!!!! COLE I almost forgot about Team Heyross! Benjamin comes in at number nine, with his partner still yet to enter the Lethal Rumble. The co 6 Man Tag Team Champion leaps to the apron and finds himself within reach of Simon Singleton, who tries to ambush him. Singleton recieves a forearm for his troubles though, sending him stumbling into the centre of the ring. Once he comes to a stop, Benjamin then sends him into even more of a stuppor, as he springboards to the top and nails a gorgeous clothesline! RODEZ Impressive. Benjamin pops up, as behind him Christian Wright hurriedly breaks up Dan Black's Crossface hold on his partner. Wright continues with the stomps on Black, while Benjamin stays on Singleton grabbing him by the hair and attempting to pitch him out. Singleton lands safely on the apron though, then shows Benjamin he too can fly, with a springboard, spun into a back elbow! Away crashes Benjamin as the tired Singleton stays down to catch his breath. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOOO!!" Something which CW could do with, as Dan Black ripples his chest with another chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOOO!!" And another! Wright stops Black at two though, thumbing him ruthlessly in the eye before slamming a Million $ Kneelift into Black's jaw. Away staggers The Ice Heart, while Christian checks on his fallen Bohemoth. Singleton is now up meanwhile, putting the boots to Quentin Benjamin. COLE Well, we have just three men to go and all the teams who entered, except for The Sk8ter Boiz, are still in the running. Who are you hoping for on what you've seen Leon? RODEZ Nobody. I'm thinking maybe I'll just job the belts to Alix and Krista. I'm sure Alix will have no problems pinning me down for 3 seconds. Singleton continues his attack on Benjamin and now, Wright goes on the attack on Black. Black starts fighting back though as he fires off two quick European uppercuts to free himself from the corner, then scythes The Natural down with a drop-toe-hold that bounces Wright's head off the middle turnbuckle! There Wright stays, as Black pulls himself up and begins to go after Simon Singleton...but, he decides instead to inflict more damage on the hated Upstart, pulling him up and locking him in a Full Nelson. The crowd, anticipating a Dragon Suplex, rise to their feet. Only to be sorely disappointed, as Wright's leg snaps upwards between Black's... ...and then Bohemoth wipes Black out with a YAKUZA KICK!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT, YO~! RODEZ Hey! Firing up once more and flexing those GUNZ~!, the bigman looks to be in total control of proceedings. Reaching down, he picks Black up, backing him up against the turnbuckles and slugging away at Black with some hard shots. Across the ring meanwhile, Singleton has Benjamin elevated and hanging over the top on the verge of elimination. Benjamin elbows himself free, landing behind Simon and setting for a German... ...switch... ...switch... ...GERMAN! Simon takes another hard landing, certainly not his first of the match, leaving him laid flat out on the canvas. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOOO!!" Meanwhile, Black is firing back on Bohemoth... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOOO!!" ...staggering him backwards... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOOO!!" ...with a flurry of knifedge chops... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOOO!!" ...that send Bohemoth into the centre of the ring. "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" "TWO!" Bohemoth suddenly ploughs through Black with another hard clothesline! "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* As "Frankenstein" by Edgar Winter hits, The Man Of Tommorrow emerges on the stage! A quick flex of the muscles has his freaks and his megafreaks in hysterics. BUFFER Hailing from Oklahoma... representing THE SOONER BRUISERS! "THE MAN OF TOMMORROW"... FFFFRRRRRAAAAAAANNKK FFFFRRRAAAANNKKEEEENNSSSTTEEEEIIIINNEEERRRRR!!!! Frank casually makes his way towards the ring as entrant 10, while in the ring Bohemoth awaits him. He's actually beckoning Frank on! A wry smile adorns Frank's face as he strides up the steps, stepping into the ring and squaring up to Bohemoth to cue an immediate buzz in the arena! COLE How about this for a face off! Bohemoth, 6'7", 284! Frank Frankensteiner, 6'2, 275! COACH Ha, Bohemoth wins! COLE This isn't Top Trumps Coach, this is the OAOAST. Although, you can now buy a special limited edition OAOAST edition of Top Trumps from OAOAST ShopZone.com logonnowbuybuybuyshill. Despite the height disadvantage, Frank doesn't back down, daring Bohemoth on. And Bohemoth is first to strike, landing a right hand! Frank fires back! Bohemoth fires back back. Only for Frank to fire back again! Back back back? Yeah. Neither man is backing down, so Frank hits the ropes, narrowly avoiding the grappling Singleton and Benjamin as he lands a shoulder block...and NOBODY moves! COLE Man, they are at a stand-off! Frank off the ropes again... ...and NOBODY moves!! RODEZ If Bohemoth were smart, he'd trip Frank up next time he goes to run. But luckily for Frank, Bo's got all the mental faculty of a chin-up bar. COACH Not fair. I hear he's a mean Stratego player. RODEZ Phff...that's a kids game. *CLAP!* *CLAP!* *CLAP!* *CLAP!* Getting the crowd rallied behind him, Frank comes off the ropes a third time. This time, Bohemoth is ready and waiting and fires off a clothesline in anger! His angerline misses though, Frank ducking behind and gaining some head of steam for a SOONERLINE, knocking Bohemoth down!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE And Bohemoth is the first to fall!! Frank is wasting no time and twirls his finger over his head, the sign for the Frakensteiner! Pulling Bohemoth up, he sets him for the whip. Bohemoth reverses though, pulling Frank into a short-arm clothesli...DUCKED! Frank tries for a back suplex, but Bohemoth proves a heavy load to get up. Especially when Christian Wright runs over and knees Frank to break up the attempt. Another knee weakens Frank up some more, before Wright hooks on a front facelock and goes for a suplex...or, possibly, a Converting The Sinner. Frank blocks though, blocking again before spinning out and going for a SOONERLINE... ...ducked... ...but Bohemoth takes the SOONERLINE!! RODEZ Frank scrambles up and manages to catch Wright coming in with a front waistlock, then pops him overhead with an effortless Overhead Release Belly To Belly! Wright goes flying across the ring and lands with a hard thud, but manages to climb straight back up, on instincts. His instincts are strong enough to know what's coming next though. And they're not enough to stop Dan Black sprinting across the ring... ...AND CLOTHESLINING WRIGHT UP AND OUT OF THE RUMBLE!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH NOOOOOOOOOOO!! RODEZ Huzzah! Hark, we shalt see thou later, fair maiden! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CHRISTIAN WRIGHT ENTERED: 4th LEFT: 4th ELIMINATED: The Marv, Frankie Frankensteiner ELIMINATED BY: Dan Black LEFT IN RING: Simon Singleton, Dan Black, Bohemoth, Quentin Benjamin, Frank Frankensteiner ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wright comes to a crumpled halt on the floor and as he gains his bearings, starts to verbally lay into the referees who surround him. Back in the ring, Black goes after Bohemoth with a barrage of quick shots. Overhands and underhands, uppercuts and...overcuts? Whatever, Black is throwing them, following those up with a European uppercut, all of which have Bohemoth dazed. Black hasn't put the bigman down yet. So he lines up, aiming a superkick at Bohemoth's head. But Bo manages to somehow get his 6'7" frame underneath Black's outswung leg, waiting for him to turn and planting him with a Front Spinebuste...BLOCKED! Black applied a front guillotine choke and wraps on a body scissors! As Bohemoth drops to his knees, breath cut off, Benjamin and Singleton have now abandoned their battle and have become a makeshift team, as they both target Frank Frankensteiner. "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" COLE Just two men remain unentered and we are counting down to one of them, number eleven, making their entrance into the Lethal Rumble. "FIVE!" "FOUR!" "THREE!" RODEZ And whoever it is, they really lucked out. "TWO!" "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "Punishment" by BIOHAZARD hits for the second time in four minutes as the other member of Team Heyross, Charlie Moss, rushes to the ring! BUFFER Hailing from Minneapolis, Minnesota... representing TEAM HEYROSS! CCHHHHAAAAARRRLLLIIIIIEEEEE MMMMMOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! In comes Moss and he soon joins his partner Benjamin, as they go after Frank Frankensteiner. That leaves Simon Singleton alone, looking around the ring with a rather confused look on his face for some reason. Eventually he goes into action though, answering Dan Black's call for help as he tries to oust Bohemoth! Black still hangs onto the front headlock as he tilts Bohemoth over the ropes, while Simon takes the legs. The two have Bohemoth up, but getting him out will be another matter. Across the ring, Team Heyross work over Frank in the corner. Together, they hook Frank up and take him over with a quick double vertical suplex. Team Heyross then high-five each other while they wait for Frank to pull himself back up. COLE Bohemoth is in trouble here...and it looks like Frank Frankensteiner may be too. RODEZ Well, that's smart tactics. Get rid of the big guys as soon as possible. Frankie is slowly getting up, but Team Heyross are waiting on him. Trouble is, Frankie has enough about him to catch the duo with yet another SOONERLINE! This one being a DOUBLE~! SOONERLINE! As Moss clutches his chest and rolls around in pain, Frank drags Benjamin up and starts to stack him on the top rope with intent to send him flying to the floor. But Moss is still fresh, pulling Frank off of Benjamin and clubbing him with a right. Frank swings back. Moss nails a punch though, then gets a run-up... ...into a back elbow to the jaw! That seems to daze Moss, but he shakes it off and charges Frank once more, roaring his intent as he swings and CLOTHESLINES... ...BENJAMIN... ...OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ QUENTIN BENJAMIN ENTERED: 9th LEFT: 5th ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Charlie Moss LEFT IN RING: Simon Singleton, Dan Black, Bohemoth, Frank Frankensteiner, Charlie Moss ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE What a miscue! And just like that, Team Heyross' big advantage has vanished. Moss looks shocked at what just happened, hovering over the ropes and apologising profusely to his tag team partner. However, in doing so, he forgets all about The Man Of Tommorrow, who knocks Charlie Moss straight into tommorrow... ...oh, and OVER THE TOP in the process. "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Well, forget the advantage going...Team Heyross are gone, completely! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CHARLIE MOSS ENTERED: 11th LEFT: 6th ELIMINATED: Quentin Benjamin ELIMINATED BY: Frank Frankensteiner LEFT IN RING: Simon Singleton, Dan Black, Bohemoth, Frank Frankensteiner ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Four men remain in the ring now and one of those four, Bohemoth, is still being lifted slowly but surely towards elimination by Dan Black and Simon Singleton. Frank turns around from his eliminating of Team Heyross and decides he wants to join in the party. Frank walks over and ducks himself underneath Bohemoth, which elevates the bigman up significantly! COACH Aw no...HANG ON BO!! COLE Could you be anymore biased? COACH Probably. I'm keeping myself contained though. COLE Yeah, we can tell... "TEN!" "NINE!" "EIGHT!" "SEVEN!" "SIX!" COLE Well, there's just one man left. "FIVE!" COLE And, for those keeping score at home... "FOUR!" COLE ...there's no prizes for guessing who it is. "THREE!" "TWO!" RODEZ But, if we haven't been paying attention like me, we can get prizes? "ONE!" *BBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!* "He's simply ravishing...OWWWW!" RODEZ Oh boy! BUFFER Hailing from Hollywood, U.S.A... representing BLACK T! TOOOONNYYYYY "THE BODY" BBRRRRRRRAAAAANNIIIIIIGGAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!! T-Bod enters the ring and a smirk crosses his face. What do you EXPECT him to do, huh? Brannigan literally shoves Simon Singleton aside to get where he's most needed, grabbing Bohemoth and using his improved (on Singleton at least) strength to heave Bohemoth towards elimination! Singleton eventually re-joins the struggle and now, it's 4 on 1 and Bohemoth is teetering! "THROW HIM OUT!" "THROW HIM OUT!" "THROW HIM OUT!" "THROW HIM OUT!" That's exactly what the foursome intend to do...and with Bohemoth struggling, the Black T lead four give one last push... ...and Bohemoth is going... ...going... ...GONE!!!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BOHEMOTH ENTERED: 8th LEFT: 7th ELIMINATED: Frankie Frankensteiner, Hell Mel ELIMINATED BY: Simon Singleton, Dan Black, Frank Frankensteiner, Tony Brannigan LEFT IN RING: Simon Singleton, Dan Black, Frank Frankensteiner, Tony Brannigan ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COACH DANG IT!! RODEZ Aw, ain't that a shame. No Upstarts win. Well, that just breaks my heart. Excuse me while I break out the Haagen Daas and the Complete Bridget Jones Collection. COLE With Bohemoth gone, we are now down to three teams capable of going to AnglePalooza! It's either going to be The Sooner Bruisers, The New, New Midnight Express or the team with the best odds by far, Black T! Now that Bohemoth is taken care of, Black T exchange their first words of the match before they go on the attack! Brannigan clubs away at Frank with forearms. Black meanwhile tackles the number 2 entrant, Simon Singleton, trying to apply some sort of hold on the mat. Despite being weary, Singleton squirms free and backs into a corner, luring Black into a quick poke of the eyes... ...as Brannigan lays into Frankensteiner now. Frank fights back on the freshest man in the Rumble and the two powerhouses are locking horns, with Brannigan coming off the better of the two... ...which distracts him from Dan Black being hoisted across the top rope by Simon Singleton! COLE Black is on the verge! And his partner doesn't realise it, so Black had better hope he has enough energy to escape. He's been in from number 5 after all. Simon is putting all he has into pushing Black out, climbing up onto the bottom rope in an effort to gain more leverage. All Black can do is despairingly grip on, hanging on for dear life. Meanwhile, Tony is still caught up with Frank. And Frank clasps on a front waistlock, ready for an Overhead Belly To Belly...NO! Earclap! With his equilibrium knocked for a loop, Frank staggers around the ring trying to gather his bearings and eventually gains enough to charge for another SOONERLINE... ...AND GETS BACKDROPPED OUT!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ FRANK FRANKENSTEINER ENTERED: 10th LEFT: 8th ELIMINATED: Charlie Moss, Bohemoth ELIMINATED BY: Tony Brannigan LEFT IN RING: Simon Singleton, Dan Black, Tony Brannigan ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Frank is gone and now, T-Bod knows he has only one man left to get rid of. And he's in no mood to wait to do so, charging Simon Singleton... ...SENDING OUT HIS OWN PARTNER... ...BUT SIMON IN THE PROCESS!!!!!!! "...YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE HE GOT THEM BOTH...