SuperJerk

I'm thinking the winner of the open faces Chavo.

If anybody sees a guy with dark hair and a beard six rows behind Michael Cole, wearing a "YOU SUCK" t-shirt... ...that's my evil twin "Bobby".

All you missed was a long ass chin lock. The arena went dark when the Eddie segment came on the titantrons.

Smackdown and Velocity Spoilers Kemper Arena in Kansas City Kemper Arena had a lot of upper deck sections tarped off, along with most of the side that the cameras were on. The infamous Sign Guy was in attendance (I thought he only appeared at Texas shows, but it was definitely him). The crowd got to see a Wrestlemania hype video set to the Foo Fighter’s “Times Like These” which was a really good video package. It’d be nice if they played it on the air. Dark Matches Funaki vs. Mike Bucci I have to admit, I enjoyed the jobber’s gimmick (looked like a cross between Don Johnson from “Miami Vice” and Disco Inferno), and he came across really well in the ring. Funaki got the win with a roll-up. Tough Enough III Champions Matt Cappotelli and John Hennigan vs. The Self-Proclaimed World’s Greatest Tag Team. Both of our TE3 winners look descent enough. John’s starting to look a little like Glenn Danzig. Matt didn’t do anything memorable, while John hit some pretty good spots. TGWTT looked great as usual, and got the win with the Haas of Pain. Josh Matthews and Bill DeMott came out and it was time for the Velocity tapings. Velocity Tajiri (with Akio and Sakoda) vs. Paul London Good match with some interference by Tajiri’s henchmen (Sakoda looks pretty wicked in person). Tajiri would get the win with a head kick after London hit some of his spots. A-Train vs. Shannon Moore Moore got a descent reaction, while A-Train got the usual “shave your back” chants. Standard match where the little guy gets a little offense, but is eventually beat by monster. A-Train hit his version of the Vader Bomb for the win. Chuck Palumbo and Johnny Stamboli vs. Orlando Jordan and Hardcore Holly Massive pops for Holly throughout the match. Definitely an entertaining match-up, with competent ringwork from all four participants. Orlando Jordan would eventually get the win by pinning Palumbo. DeMott got in Tony Chimmel’s face about something, and then he and Josh left. Rhue came out and sang “America the Beautiful”. She looks amazing in person, and is also a pretty good singer. Michael Cole and Tazz came down to Tazz’s music from “Forceble Entry”, and then it was time for Smackdown to start. Before the opening, Kurt came on the twin-trons and told us he’d be explaining why he attacked Eddie Guerrero on last week’s show. Cue intro, and the show’s ready to start. The main event is announced to be Eddie Guerrero and John Cena vs. Chavo Guerrero and the Big Show. We’d also get the answer to the musical question: “WHY, KURT, WHY?” SUDDEN DEATH FOUR-WAY FOR A CHANCE AT THE TITLE AT WRESTLEMANIA XX Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble vs. Nunzio vs. Billy Kidman Mysterio pretty much dominated the match, which was interrupted by a backstage segment. Eddie Guerrero charged into Paul Heyman’s office, where Heyman was talking to Tajiri (with evil minions) and Dawn Marie. Not a point to the segment except to set up that Eddie was here tonight, and he was severly upset over what happened last week. Back to the match, Rey dominated and was about to get the win when Heyman (along with Dawn, Tajiri, Akio, and Sakoda) came out and cancelled the match. Paul then announced that he couldn’t go through with it because no Japanese people were represented in the match, and he would have to make other arrangements. For the first time ever at Wrestlemania, there would be a CRUISERWEIGHT OPEN with the winner facing Chavo for the Cruiserweight Title that very night. After the ring area cleared, a video package recapping last week’s events between Eddie, Chavo, and Kurt Angle was shown. NON-TITLE TAG MATCH Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty vs. the A.P.A. Not too bad of a match, with the APA doing some quasi-heel stuff. Eventually the Bashams would interfere, and Bradshaw would get the pin by putting the Clothesline From Hell on Rikishi. After the match, Rikishi looked injured, and it took a couple of minutes for the trainers to help him out of the ring. It looked real, and maybe not a result of Bradshaw’s clothesline. A video recap was shown of the match announcement made on Monday’s RAW, featuring Brock giving Stone Cold Steve Austin the F-5. The next segment was Josh Matthews interviewing Brock Lesnar in the locker room. Tonight Brock would be facing Billy Gunn, but Josh wants to know why Brock F-5ed Austin. Brock says that because Austin gave Goldberg a ticket to “No Way Out”, then it was Austin’s fault Brock lost the title. He then tried to use the segment to pimp his t-shirt by saying he was going to teach them the true meaning of “Off the Hook Pain”. The next segment featured Eddie Guerrero (without a low-rider, and with altered lyrics to his theme song so there’s no reference to Chavo) coming down to the ring for a promo. Huge “Eddie” chants, as the crowd was behind him 100%. Eddie says that all around his neighborhood, people wanted to know what it was like to be the WWE Champion. He says that he’s just taking it “one day at a time”. He then calls out Kurt Angle, but gets tired of waiting, so he runs to the back looking for the former champion. Eddie goes to the door of Kurt’s private locker room, but is stopped by Heyman and about six or eight fake cops. Eddie then sees Kurt, but as he’s trying to get to him, Eddie knocks Paul into Dawn-Marie. Paul Heyman then has Eddie kicked out for attacking Dawn-Marie. SINGLES MATCH Billy Gunn vs. Brock Lesnar (with his kick-ass pyro) Say it with me: Billy Gunn sucks. Lots of rest holds in the match, as Brock isn’t quite up to the task of carrying Gunn. Sign Guy’s antics during the match are pretty funny, though. Eventually Brock wakes up the crowd by hitting the F-5 for the clean win. At this point there’s a break, and the t-shirt guy comes out and Chimmel has some fun with the fans. The next segment featured a promo by Torrie Wilson and Sable, with both ladies wearing evening gowns and playing the faces by kissing up to the fans for buying their magazine. The talk about being hotter than Miss Jackie and Stacy Keibler, and kind of drone on for a couple of minutes. Either the sound system was off, or Torrie sounds like she’s on helium in real life. John Cena would then come down to a huge pop (he was wearing a Derrick Thomas jersey and pointed to it several times for the additional cheap pops…Saddam Hussein could get a pop for wearing a Derrick Thomas jersey in Kansas City). He rapped about how hot they looked in their magazine, but asked them to leave because they were breaking his concentration. Since his original tag partner for tonight was kicked out of the arena, he’d have to call a new partner. He then pulled out a cell phone and dialed “619”. Rey then joined Cena in the ring. TAG TEAM MATCH John Cena and Rey Mysterio vs. The Big Show and Chavo Guerrero (with Chavo Senior) Pretty good tag match, with Rey playing the “face in peril” for a sizable portion of it. Cena’s selling looks better on TV than live, but he definitely had the crowd in the palm of his hand. Chavo got some massive heat from the crowd by using many of Eddie’s signature moves, but Rey got the pin on Chavo after a 619. Big Show would then chokeslam Cena to get his heat back before going backstage. The final segment was Kurt Angle coming to the ring to explain why he attacked Eddie last week. He says he did it for us, because Eddie’s a former drug addict and was a bad role model for kids (since encouraged lying, cheating, and stealing). Drugs are bad, mmmmkay? It hurt Kurt to attack Eddie, but he did it for us. Kurt said he’d win at Wrestlemania and be the kind of champion we could be proud of. Of course, Eddie would then sneak up behind Kurt and attack him. Paul Heyman would come out with his fake cops, and have Eddie arrested and hauled off in handcuffs. Eddie’s going to have to spend the night in jail! Angle would taunt Eddie all the way outside and to the police car and yell at him as the police drove away. I’m pretty sure this is wear the tapings ended. Kurt came back to the ring and tried to tell us what he did was for the good of America, before Rey came out, wrestled Kurt for a couple of minutes, and wiped his BUTT with Kurt’s t-shirt. Kurt left, and Rey thanked us for coming. Chimmel then thanked us for coming. Biggest pops Eddie Cena Torrie and Sable Rey Mysterio Undertaker (during videos) Most heel heat Angle Chavo Heyman Brock Tajiri credit: Me.

It's like Foley said, the shark in Jaws didn't have to act like a coward to be hated. I wouldn't say, though, that Kurt was hiding behind the cops, since Heyman's the one who brought them out. If this had been the first time I saw the "top face gets arrested by management" angle, I'd have thought the show was great.

They'll probably be political choices, so I bet half of those won't even be MENTIONED on the show. Has Triple H had any good WM matches?

Word. Especially with the hammer. Actually, I'd be afraid of them making a Thor movie. Imagine the tag line in the commercials: "On May 25th...IT'S HAMMER TIME!" Ugh.

I don't know if anyone's ever had this feeling when they went to a TV taping...but watching Velocity and Smackdown back to back really makes it seems like the shows have got small rosters. And yet neither Eddie nor Kurt wrestled.

It was okay. London hit his usualy spots, but Tajiri didn't use the green mist. I don't remember how long it went, but probably around five minutes. Probably 2 stars. I liked it, but I've seen better from both of them.

A lot of offense for someone who only know five moves. The match went on waaaaaaay too long. I just checked the OVW website. I think you're right.

Nah, I know I'll be watching Billy Gunn get squashed by Brock. Gunn was one of the few guys on both rosters not to lose to Lesnar during Brock's first heel run in 2002 when he was beating midcarders every week. What Bob Holly got with Brock last month was what some thought would happen with Gunn. Bradshaw, the third of the SD! New Generation Leftover Trifecta, has yet to receive the same treatment as his two buddies. I await that match although he's protected enough for that to never happen. Except they actually did let Gunn get a lot of offense in, and pin Brock for a close 2. And the crowd STILL soooo didn't give a shit about him.

You gotta be shitting me.

I glanced at that briefly and thought it said Rhyno. Good thing I re-read, although that would be interesting. Thanks for the report. It was definitely Rhue. Everyone stood up for the singing of "America the Beautiful"...if ya know what I mean.

I do not understand your question. Are you asking why Kurt wasn't a heel last March? Or why he didn't beat down Brock the way he beat down Eddie? I'm asking why a more serious injury didn't turn him into a family values monster. In my scenario, Angle doesn't turn into a "family values monster" until he comes back from time off. To answer your question, that more serious injury DID turn him into a "family values monster". If you recall, Angle interjected himself into the Vince/Stephanie feud around that time. We all assumed he was doing it because he used to have a crush on Stephanie, but couldn't it also have been a revulsion at seeing a father treating his daughter in a terribly? Angle, a father himself, was so repulsed by Vince's behavior that he automatically took Stephanie's side.

I do not understand your question. Are you asking why Kurt wasn't a heel last March? Or why he didn't beat down Brock the way he beat down Eddie?

Hmm... That's odd, when you factor in traveling costs, a far larger "cast," the costs to ship the large sets, probably needing far more cameras and a larger production crew, more shows needing to be produced in fewer time, etc. I'd think it would be more. Or do they mean cost for the network, which would be very little? Two things you are forgetting... (1)Talent pays for its own travel costs. (2) They probably make anywhere from $200k to $600k in ticket sales per tv taping, which offsets production cost significantly.

Someone get this man a job in the marketing department!

So three months off suddenly makes him care about something he couldn't give a shit about for five years? Under that logic, no character can EVER turn face. Sometimes, believe it or not, people act like jerks until something happens to them, then they start being nice...until something else happens to them, and they start acting like jerks again. Are you telling me that never happens? Are you SERIOUSLY telling me that never happens? Are you such an expert in human psychology, that you're telling me that can never EVER happen? Are you saying that your expertise in the human mind, which obviously far exceeds mine, that no one can ever have times in their lives when their attitude changes and they act differently towards people until they encounter another high stress situation? Seriously? I find your criticism lacking. I stand by my explanation.

Okay, here's my explanation. If you don't like it, fine. If you do like it, I'll die of shock. After Kurt broke his neck at Wrestlemania (so the story goes), he had time to reflect. The stress of being a WWE Superstar was off his shoulders. He could relax and take time to see what's really important in life: his family. While he was away, Brock Lesnar called him several times to see how he was doing. Since Lesnar was champion and Kurt was out of active competition, Brock could afford to be nice to Kurt. With less stress in his life, Kurt could afford to be nice to Brock. Fastforward to last July. Kurt returns, and is willing to share the spotlight with his new friend Brock Lesnar. But then Kurt beat Brock for the title, and suddenly Brock hates Kurt. Brock eventually wins his title back by being ruthless while Kurt was trying to be a nice guy. Then, after a bried feud with Cena, Kurt takes another couple of months off, but not before teaming up with all his former rivals at Survivor Series. Kurt brings his team together on the basis that they can beat Brock's team if they work together...and they do! While Kurt's gone again, he's glad to be spending more time with his family. When January roles around, though, Kurt comes back to find two guys he thinks are good team fighting all of the time. Still believing in the importance of family after spending so much time with his, and still seeing the value of working together, Angle decides he should try to bring Los Guerreros back together (not unlike the way he'd brought Cena and Benoit togehter before Survivor Series). Well, this time it didn't work. Los Guerreros split, and Angle loses the Rumble to Benoit. But then opportunity presents itself! Benoit has left the show, and there's suddenly another chance for him to become the number one contender! But Kurt fails. Kurt loses to the man who he'd been helping for the last month. Feeling the stress of going after the WWE Title, Kurt begins to question whether or not being a nice guy to Eddie was such a good idea. Kurt's willing to wait, though, because there's no way Eddie will beat Brock, right? When a match is announced to decide the number one contendership at Wrestlemania, Kurt wants in on it. Finally he'll get another shot at Brock, and get the chance to win back what he's lost to Brock twice. He's still friends with Eddie because he doesn't really think Eddie has a shot at beating Brock. Kurt wins the number one contendership match at Wrestlemania, but that very same night Eddie wins the WWE Title. Eddie Guerrero...the man Kurt had helped for the last month and a half...will be Kurt's opponent at Wrestlemania XX. Kurt was a nice guy to Brock, and look what happened. Kurt tried to help Los Guerreros...and look what happened. Kurt will not let it happen again. Being a nice guy isn't getting him anywhere. If he's going to beat Eddie, he'll have to play dirty. He'll have to quit being a nice guy, and get ruthless. Kurt wants that belt, and no one is going to stand in his way. "I will beat Eddie Guerrero," thinks Angle, "but not before I send him a message." Then, at the weekly show, Kurt gets his opportunity to show how ruthless he can be. He beats down Eddie during Eddie's first title defense in hopes of destroying Eddie's confidence and to send a message: I'm not a nice man. I'm a champion.

I'm sure Henry Pym was relieved when he read that.

This looks like another classic Anglesault vs. Everyone Else thread. No answer's ever going to be good enough for you, is it?

Brock is 26. He'll turn 27 in July. His NCAA Championship win was in 2000.

From the WWE Creative Team Regulations Manual; Article 4, subsection 3, paragraph 6: Does that include the Lesnar/Angle Iron Man Match and the Foley/Rock match from WAY back when? You really expect the WWE to follow its own rules ALL the time?

From the WWE Creative Team Regulations Manual; Article 4, subsection 3, paragraph 6:

Except thats what they did before Summerslam last year with Kurt and Brock. Kurt's been acting heelish all night, but it was still a good turn.