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Steen Calls For Back-Up! The scheduled heavyweight title match between International Wrestling Syndicate champion Viking and Pierre Carl Ouellet dissolved into chaos and controversy as the new Number One Contender for the IWS title, “Paranoid” Jake Matthews. hit the ring waving his shovel. “Mr. Wrestling” Kevin Steen, who had previously in the night fallen victim to that shovel, hit the ring in hot pursuit. Viking and Steen had the upper hand temporarily before veteran Quebec heavyweight Brick Crawford hit the ring out of nowhere and the three heavyweights, Crawford, Matthews and PCO gave Steen the beating of his life under the supervision of IWS Owner PCP Crazy F’N Manny. With blood streaming down his face, Steen challenged the three men to a fair fight at the next IWS show, Body Count 2007, the Eighth Anniversary of the IWS where Crawford, Matthews and PCO will fight Steen, Viking and the PWG champion, El Generico, returning to the IWS where he first made his debut. ******************************** Scarred For Life Results: Quick and Dirty Saturday, May 26th, 2007 Bogey’s World Montreal, Quebec, CANADA Attendance: 246 Winner Keeps His Job Match ROCK vs. COCK: Pornstar Juan vs. Twiggy Twiggy beat Pornstar Juan with a roll-up at 9:06 Number One Contender's Match SCUM VS. STEEN "Paranoid" Jake Matthews vs. "Mr. Wrestling" Kevin Steen Jake Matthews pinned Kevin Steen at 10:48 after hitting him from behind with a shovel while PCO distracted Steen. Fatal Four-Way Match FOUR J MATCH Justin White vs. Jimmy Stone vs. Jimmy K vs. Justified I mean Stupefied Stupefied pinned Jimmy K at 7:35 just before Jimmy Stone tapped to Justin White. Impromptu Tag Match Dancing With the Chairs Match SLI 2007 (Fred la Merveille and Kenny the Bastard) vs. Above Standards (Carl Choquette and Eric Lauze) SLI 2007 beat Above Standards in 6:47 Summer of Sequels Match EXesS = BULLY TWO EXesS vs. ALF Champion Stefany Sinclair ALF Champion Stefany Sinclair beat EXesS by roll-up in 11:35 with a little help from Justin White and a chair. IWS Tag Team Title Match HE IS SCARRED FOR LIFE Scarred and Sexxxy (The Green Phantom and Sexxxy Eddy) vs. Hi-5 (Beef Wellington and Kid Kamikaze) vs. IWS Tag Team Champions - The Hardcore Ninjaz Hardcore Ninja Number One pinned both Beef Wellington and Kid Kamikaze after a Pearl Harbour Dive at 7:53. IWS Title Match SPONSORED BY THE CNIB Pierre-Carl Ouellet vs. IWS Champion – Viking The match was ruled a no-contest after 10:49 when first Jake Matthews then Kevin Steen and then, out of nowhere, Brick Crawford interfered. ******************************** Detailed Results It was a night of debuts and a night of endings. It was a night of great matches and great promos. It was a night that the IWS Hardcore Soldiers will treasure for a long time. Scarred For Life 2007 began with the final match of the Rock and Cock Express as Pornstar Juan and Twiggy were forced to fight one another with the Winner keeping his job and the Loser banished from the IWS forever. I am not embarrassed to say that my notes are a little smudged with the tracks of my tears. This was an emotional match. Despite being tag team partners, despite being best friends, these two men gave this match everything that they had. Pornstar Juan broke out every backbreaker that Roderick Strong ever thought of, but the resilient Twiggy kept getting back up. Looking at Twiggy, measuring his height and weight, you can not possibly begin to measure the size of Twiggy’s heart nor the depth of his wrestling knowledge. Twiggy’s heart kept him in this match and his brain won it for him as Juan desperately grabbed for the ropes and missed while Twiggy leveraged Juan’s own height and weight into the roll-up that pinned him at 9:06. After the loss, as an emotional Pornstar Juan thanked his friends and the IWS fans, the ring filled with IWS wrestlers saying goodbye and the fans chanted, “Thank You Pornstar!” Juan’s last thank you was a special one, “I have one last person to thank. Fuck Pornstar Juan, this is a straight from Mike DaPonte quote: PCP Manny, I hate your fucking guts!” Say the Devil’s name and he will appear. Manny hit the ring and ordered the wrestlers to the back, then ordered Mike DaPonte, the ex-Pornstar Juan, to leave not just his ring, but his venue, leaving only Twiggy behind. Then Manny summoned his hatchet-man, PCO, but before the heavy-weight could dismantle Twiggy, “Mr. Wrestling” Kevin Steen hit the ring, with something to say, “Last time I saw you Peece, I didn’t see you. I turned around and you clothes-lined my fucking head off... You attacked me from behind. I think that’s because when you look at yourself in the mirror, you see that you are a little bit older, a little bit slower. I think that you are scared of me. Prove me wrong! Hit me while I am looking you right in the eye!” At which point, “Paranoid” Jake Matthews attacked Kevin Steen from behind and their Number One Contender’s Match started immediately. The two men brawled furiously in and out of the ring. Steen appeared to have the upper hand after catching Jake Mathews going up top, flipping him onto an open chair and following up immediately with a Steen Splash from the top, but before Steen could get the pin, PCO came back out to ringside to distract Mr. Wrestling. This gave Jake the chance to recover, grab his shovel from Lollipop and hit Steen from behind. The pin followed at 10:48. The Fatal Four Way pitting Stupefied against the three Js: Justin White, Jimmy Stone and Jimmy K, was given its verdict by the fans, “This is AWESOME!” Making, his debut in the IWS, the toilet-skirt wearing goth weirdo, Jimmy K, made a quick impression with his foot-stomping offence that earned him a “Please Come Back” chant. Jimmy Stone impressed, showing his strength with a Sunset Flip where he flipped all three of his opponents. Justin White continued to impress with his ground-based technical wrestling. But the night belonged to Stupefied, showing emotion and dominating the other three wrestlers with his high-flying. The Super Smash Brother won the match, killing Jimmy K for the pin at 7:35 just before Jimmy Stone tapped to Justin White’s submission. (Honestly, the match was so good that it felt longer. It is entirely possible that my stop watch lost count because it was, like me, watching the match with its jaw hanging open.) The “Please Come Back” chants for Jimmy K were unfortunately heard by Above Standards, who will take any excuse to make an unwelcome appearance. Despite being generally humiliated by the SLI 2007 of Fred la Merveille and Kenny the Bastard, in a match which featured 101 uses for a chair other than hitting one’s opponent with it, Carl Choquette and Eric Lauze showed dangerous signs of competence in this match, won by Fred and Kenny in 6:47. In this Summer of Sequels, EXesS opened his Open Challenge to a woman that he had already beaten and sent to the hospital at Violent Valentine 2007, Stefany Sinclair. There were a couple of differences in this rematch. First, rather than shattering Stefany Sinclair’s spirit by sending her to the hospital in the earlier match, EXesS gave her renewed confidence by not killing her. Stefany built on the experience in that match to become the Association de Lutte Feminin champion, the only joshi promotion that runs regularly in Canada. Make no mistake, EXesS once again beat the shit out of Stefany, so much so that the fans were prompted to shout, “This Is Not Cool Anymore!” But every time EXesS punched Stefany down, she got back up and spit in his eye. After nearly tapping to Stefany’s desperate triangle choke, a frustrated EXesS grabbed a chair. Justin White charged out of the back to disarm EXesS. Stefany grabbed a distracted EXesS from behind for a roll-up which EXesS blocked by grabbing the ropes, until Justin White rapped his knuckles with the chair leading to Stefany’s pin at 11:35. The newly scarred for life Green Phantom was warmly greeted by the IWS fans as he and Sexxxy Eddy tried to regain their IWS tag team titles in a thre-way dance featuring Hi-5 and the Once and Future IWS Tag Team Champions, the Hardcore Ninjaz. The Champions did not even make it to the ring before an enraged Green Phantom attacked the Ninjaz in the crowd and Sexxxy Eddy used Hi-5 to build momentum for a dive to help his partner. Hi-5 paid the price for the Green Phantom’s anger as the Hardcore Hero and Eddy obliterated Beef Wellington and Kid Kamikaze, but before they could collect the win, the Hardcore Ninjaz ambushed them out of nowhere (as Ninjaz are wont to do) with the Evil Ninja clearing the ring while his brother hit the dazed Hi-5 with a Pearl Harbour dive to collect the win at 7:53. After the match, Sexxxy Eddy, frustrated after two straight matches against the Ninjaz where other teams got in the way of him and the Green Phantom, challenged the Hardcore Ninjaz to a match where no other teams would be involved. It was later announced that the Hardcore Ninjaz had accepted the challenge and had stipulated that the match be fought as a NO ROPES BARBED WIRE match. Kid Kamikaze, equally frustrated at Hi-5’s prolonged losing streak, demanded that the team break-up. Beef Wellington proposed instead that he and his “BFF” have a Bogey’s World Street Fight and that if he, Beef, won, Hi-5 would stay together and he and Kid Kamikaze would get matching tattoos, but if Kid Kamikaze won the team would split up forever. I have copious notes for the show including a complete transcript of some of the promos. Keep checking back at www.syndicatewrestling.com as I type up those notes in the days to come. ******************************** Our next show, Body Count 2007 is our Eight Anniversary show. The first World Wrestling Syndicate show Blood, Sweat and Beers 1999 was held at Wally’s on June 17th, 1999. Already Scheduled for Body Count 2007: Bogey’s Street Fight: Beef Wellington vs, Kid Kamikaze If Beef wins, Hi-5 stays together and BFF Beef and Kid K have to get matching tattoos. If Kid Kamikaze wins, Hi-5 split up forever. Six Man Tag: Pierre-Carl Ouellet, IWS Number One Contender “Paranoid” Jake Matthews and Brick Crawford vs. “Mr. Wrestling” Kevin Steen and PWG Champion El Generico and IWS Champion Viking IWS Tag Team Title Match - NO ROPES BARBED WIRE: Scarred and Sexxxy (The Green Phantom and Sexxxy Eddy) vs. IWS Tag Team Champions The Hardcore Ninjaz The dates that Kevin Steen has confirmed with the IWS: June 16th, Body Count July 14th, Summer Slaughter August 18th, Hardcore Heat September 29th, Blood, Sweat and Beers at the Medley Plan Accordingly. The IWS presents: Body Count 2007, Saturday, June 16th, 2007 at Bogey’s World Bar & Billiard, 3250 Cremazie Est (corner of Cremazie and St-Michel near the St-Michel metro), Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:00 pm, show starts at 8:00 pm, tickets are $20 for VIP, $15 for Regular. 18+, card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.syndicatewrestling.com or e-mail [email protected] . Our DVDs for each show are released through www.smartmarkvideo.com. Our most recent release is Un F’N Sanctioned 2007 featuring then NWA World Heavyweight Champion Christian Cage - http://www.smartmarkvideo.com/main/index.p...6b66a85q4734bui . Our best-selling DVD from last year is Un F’N Sanctioned 2006 featuring Sabu’s last match in the indies before his re-debut on Raw (two nights later) as well as the crazy hardcore Fans Bring the Weapons match - http://www.smartmarkvideo.com/main/index.p...;ref=iwsdvd0043

The PCO Challenge Some scars are invisible. It was at Breakout, July 8th, 2006 that Viking first became the IWS Champion, quite literally the Fans’ Champion as it took a near-riot by the IWS fans for IWS Owner PCP Crazy F’N Manny to reverse his own crooked fast-count in the favour of then champion EXesS and restart the match. The irony? It was during that near-riot that the IWS belt was stolen. For close to a year, Viking has fought off every challenger, battled with pride, but he has done so without a belt. Manny refused to spend a thin dime buying a belt for a champion that he despises. At Scarred For Life 2007, Viking will face his greatest challenge: three-time World Tag Team Champion, Hardcore Champion, veteran of WWF, WCW, ECW, Japan, Europe, Puerto Rico, owner of “Deux Pied de Bras”, master of “Dat Blue Ting”, one of the most agile big men ever, and former IWS Champion, Pierre-Carl Ouellet. He would be a formidable opponent at any time, but this time PCO has an incentive, he has a prize to win. PCO’s prize for beating Viking: the new IWS belt that Manny has promised to the first man who can beat Viking. The dilemma for the fans? They can only see the new IWS Title belt when their champion loses. Viking wants to see that new belt as badly as the fans. He recently confided in me that there are times that he can almost feel the weight of that belt around his waist, that it tingles the way that amputees can still feel their missing limbs. For Viking, that missing belt is the invisible scar that he wears with pride, but as far as Viking is concerned no matter how much he wants to see that new belt, this is one scar that he is prepared to wear for life. ********************************************* The Strong Style Typings about the show and some of the matches can be found here: http://the-w.com/thread.php/id=32826 ********************************************* IWS Scarred For Life Card Quick and Dirty Saturday, May 26th, 2007 Bogey's World Montreal, Quebec, CANADA Winner Keeps His Job Match ROCK vs. COCK: Pornstar Juan vs. Twiggy Summer of Sequels Match EXesS = BULLY TWO EXesS vs. ALF Champion Stefany Sinclair Fatal Four-Way Match FOUR J MATCH Justin White vs. Jimmy Stone vs. Jimmy K vs. Justified I mean Stupefied IWS Tag Team Title Match HE IS SCARRED FOR LIFE Scarred and Sexxxy (The Green Phantom and Sexxxy Eddy) vs. SLI 2007 (Fred la Merveille and Kenny the Bastard) vs. Hi-5 (Beef Wellington and Kid Kamikaze) vs. IWS Tag Team Champions - The Hardcore Ninjaz Number One Contender's Match SCUM VS. STEEN "Paranoid" Jake Matthews vs. "Mr. Wrestling" Kevin Steen IWS Title Match SPONSORED BY THE CNIB Pierre-Carl Ouellet vs. IWS Champion – Viking ********************************************* It is the summer of sequels. And at the IWS it is no different. At Violent Valentine 2007, so-called shooter and bully EXesS sent Stefany to the hospital in a match where the Quebec joshi showed fighting spirit, nearly choking out EXesS several times with a triangle choke. Despite film critic Joe Bob Briggs’ admonition that, “When you make a sequel, you should just make the same damn movie you made the first time!” There will be differences. Stefany Sinclair is now the Association de Lutte Feminin champion. She is more confident, more assured. And EXesS? He is still a God Damned Bully, but the veneer in his confidence has cracked in recent months. Let’s hope that Stefany can scar that confidence by choking him out for good and for all. Four Good and Four All – All four of the men in the fatal four-way match have something to prove. Justin White is ready to prove that not only can he win a match on points, but that he can actually win a match, Jimmy Stone is ready to prove that his time away from the IWS did nothing to stop his cocky swagger, Jimmy K is ready to prove that he deserves a spot in the IWS and Justified – I mean Stupefied – he is ready to prove that he is the star NOW that everyone predicts that he will become. When they say that it is not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog, you could stop your examples with Twiggy and Pornstar Juan, the Rock and Cock Express. People have belittled their size, mocked their belief in themselves, but no one has ever dared question their heart, doubt their courage. They would spit in the eye of the Devil himself, even if it took them a step-ladder to do it. The problem with being that brave is that sometimes you have to pay for the consequence of that courage. Juan and Twiggy spit in the eye not of Satan, but the closest equivalent, IWS Owner PCP Crazy F’N Manny and when he wiped off the spittle, he immediately ordered these two tag team partners, these two best friends to fight each other with the winner keeping his job and the loser banished from the IWS forever. No matter what happens, the team of the Rock and Cock Express are dead. And their absence will scar the tag team division. He is the bull in the china shop that no one wants to talk about. He metes out Hardcore Justice. He is the master of the STOMP! Last month, the Hardcore Ninjaz pinned the Green Phantom for the IWS Tag Team Title. In the process, they cut his arm so gruesomely with a barbed-wire chair that the Phantom was rushed to the hospital for three internal and ten external stitches. Hi-5 will be in this match. The SLI 2007 will be in this match. Sexxxy Eddy will be the Green Phantom’s partner. Any of those five may figure in the pin. To the Green Phantom, they are irrelevancies, distractions, obstacles. Anger has given him tunnel vision. To the Green Phantom there are only two men in this match: The Hardcore Ninjaz who left him SCARRED FOR LIFE! One of the secrets to understanding Kevin Steen is that while he would be loathe to admit it, he is at heart as much a fan of the IWS as he is a wrestler of the IWS. He wants to see the new IWS belt as much as any fan. This Saturday, he can take a step towards seeing that belt, a step towards owning that belt. The only man standing in his way is the veteran “Paranoid” Jake Matthews. The only belt in Quebec wrestling that Jake Matthews has never worn is the most important belt in the province, perhaps in the country – that of the IWS. The only way that he can get his hands on that belt is to go through “Mr. Wrestling” first. For Jake, that is combining business with pleasure. No matter if Viking defends his title or if PCO wins and unveils the new belt, the road for the IWS champion will be bumpy with Kevin Steen and Jake Matthews fighting over the rights to become Number One Contender. Our Next Four Dates: (Kevin Steen confirmed to be at all Four) The dates that Kevin Steen has confirmed with the IWS: June 16th, Body Count July 14th. Summer Slaughter August 18th, Hardcore Heat September 29th, Blood, Sweat and Beers at the Medley Plan Accordingly. The IWS presents: Scarred For Life 2007, Saturday, May 26th, 2007 at Bogey’s World Bar & Billiard, 3250 Cremazie Est (corner of Cremazie and St-Michel near the St-Michel metro), Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:00 pm, show starts at 8:00 pm, tickets are $20 for VIP, $15 for Regular. 18+, card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.syndicatewrestling.com or e-mail [email protected] . Our DVDs for each show are released through www.smartmarkvideo.com. Our most recent release is Un F’N Sanctioned 2007 featuring then NWA World Heavyweight Champion Christian Cage - http://www.smartmarkvideo.com/ main/index.php?app=ccp0&ns=prodshow&ref=iwsdvd0054& sid=3kk04hkib65w02eal6b66a85q4734bui . Our best-selling DVD from last year is Un F’N Sanctioned 2006 featuring Sabu’s last match in the indies before his re-debut on Raw (two nights later) as well as the crazy hardcore Fans Bring the Weapons match - http://www.smartmarkvideo.com/main/index.p...;ref=iwsdvd0043

Results and Opinions for Top of the World Wrestling Quitte ou Double Saturday, May 12th, 2007 Parc Equestre Blainville Blainville, Quebec, CANADA Show put on by Marc Blondin and Pierre Carl Ouellet, the French announce team for TNA Impact on RDS, the French version of TSN. Pierre Carl Ouellet needs no introduction. Marc Blondin for years was the French interviewer for the WWF. He would do stand-up interviews for WWF Superstars where they would cut promos in English and he would translate their promos into French. Quick and Dirty results for the Ritalin crowd and then I will start ranting at length. Quick and Dirty Results Attendance: About 400. Combat d’Ouverture Gorgeous Mike vs. Guil Reno Gorgeous Mike beat Guil Reno in 6:57 with a roll-up. Combat par Elimination a Six Lutteurs Player Uno vs. Stupefied vs. Alex Price vs. James Kraven vs. Deniss Sensation vs. Jimmy Stone Deniss Sensation eliminated Jamea Kraven with a top rope splash at 5:37. James Kraven hit a top rope 360 splash on Deniss Sensation then rolled Stupefied on top for the pin at 10:15. Alex Price pinned Stupefied at 11:59. Player Uno pinned Alex Price at 12:25. Vanessa Kraven pinned both Player Uno and Jimmy Stone to win the match at 16:46. Combat Par Equipe 2.0 with Vanessa Kraven vs. Beef Wellington and Raid 2.0 pinned Beef Wellington with the Sweet Taste of Professionalism at 10:23. Combat en Simple Bishop vs. Chakal Bishop pinned Chakal after 8:56. Combat Extreme par Equipe Sunny War Cloud and Samson vs. Les Bouchard Simard de Marc le Grizzly (Tank, Mad Dog, Tolo, NCW Security (Oz) and an anonymous Hot Girl (D-Vyne)) Mad Dog pinned Sunny War Cloud at 9:22 after Marc burned Sunny with a fire ball. Combat en Simple Dan Paysan vs. Max Boyer Dan Paysan pinned Max Boyer at 8:52 Combat Triple Menace Franky the Mobster with Josianne the Pussycat vs. Sexxxy Eddy vs. “Paranoid” Jake Matthews with Lollipop Franky the Mobster superplexed Jake Matthews through a table. Eddy covered for the pin at 8:58. Eddy pinned Franky the Mobster for the win at 15:58 with a surprise roll-up. Combat Special TNA Alex Shelley vs. Petey Williams Alex Shelley tapped to the Canadian Crab at 16:23. Combat Principal de la Soiree Pierre Carl Ouellet with PCP Crazy F’N Manny vs. Rhino with Marc Blondin and CFL star Ed Filion Rhino gored referee Fred la Merveille through PCO and a table set up in the corner. Marc Blondin counted the pin at 17:52 ***************************************** Combat d’Ouverture Gorgeous Mike vs. Guil Reno Gorgeous Mike beat Guil Reno in 6:57 with a roll-up. In NCW, Sunny War Cloud and Guil Reno are a fairly popular tag team, but the ToW brain trust decided to spilt that team apart. Guil Reno has a gimmick based around his origins from Shawinigan, Jean Chretien’s hometown. He comes to the ring to the incredibly catchy “Shawinigan Boyz” and wears tape on his hand with “819” written on them, the area code for rural Quebec including Shawinigan. When Guil started this gimmick, Montreal promoters tried to pitch him as a heel, but it never worked, the more he ran down Montreal and boasted about how great Shawinigan was, the more people cheered. Gorgeous Mike’s best move is a leg drop which he delusionally believes is a finisher. He counts along with his fingers with the ref and is always shocked when his opponent kicks out at two. Gorgeous Mike did some really bad mike work after his entrance. Guil Reno got great face heat from the crowd and built on that with some good mike work where he mocked Mike’s high-pitched nasal whine. Pointless IWS Digression The Green Phantom joined me at booth side to bitch about not being booked for the show and to confirm that despite how terrifying his injury looked at the last IWS show that he was and is fine and will be ready to go at the next IWS show, even claiming that he could have wrestled the next day after getting thirteen stitches (three internally and ten externally.) The youtube of that injury is here: The running around makes us look a bit like idiots (maybe a lot like idiots.) We were caught off guard because the match was never supposed to happen, let alone be a death-match. Originally, Chris Bishop and Lionel Knight (Team Checkmate) were supposed to fight the Hardcore Ninjaz in a first encounter of those teams, while Player Uno and Stupefied (The Super-Smash Brothers) were scheduled to face the then IWS Tag Team champions, the Green Phantom and Sexxxy Eddy, in another first encounter. When Chris Bishop injured his hand going through a pane of glass at UWA Hardcore the night before in a stupid spot that makes the Phantom injury look like a minor scratch, suddenly the Ninjaz had no opponents leading directly to them being injected into the tag team title match and thus to the Phantom injury which caught a bunch of IWS staffers out of position all going, “Oh yeah, the Ninjaz and Phantom hate each other. FUCK! Should have been at ring-side just in case.” End Pointless IWS Digression When Guil Reno made a hop plancha with all the velocity of a diving tortoise, the Green Phantom observed that this is why he doesn’t do dives, he just can’t build enough velocity for it to look good. “Despite three obvious fuck-ups, the crowd is still into it and giving good heat,” said the Green Phantom as Guil hit his best looking move of the match so far - a leaping leg lariat, “Shows the difference between an indy crowd and an average crowd. An indy crowd would be shitting on this match to death.” Guil Reno did a very nice Code Red which got roundly criticized by everyone in close proximity to me as being disrespectful to Petey Williams, since the flipping power bomb is too close to the Canadian Destroyer’s flipping pile-driver. (At the time, we all thought that Shelley/Williams was the next match, because that was what the program announced.) As a follow-up, Guil Reno leaped from the top, got knees and Gorgeous Mike eventually won with a roll-up. The NCW referee either failed to see Gorgeous Mike’s feet on the ropes or noted that Mike was unable to actually get his feet on to the ropes until after the three was counted. The spirit being willing to cheat, but the flesh being too weak to actually do it. A hum-drum sloppy match that benefitted from its placement on the card, but served its purpose to get the crowd warmed up and prepared for better wrestling to come. **************** Most people writing about this show have been perhaps subconsciously kay-fabing the crowd up to 500 perhaps as much as anything to mollify the disappointment at a show that most anticipated would easily draw a thousand given that it had the holy grail of free TV advertising with Marc Blondin and PCO promoting the show non-stop during the French version of TNA Impact even going so far as to put their jobs on the line based on the results of the matches on the show and announcing various wrestlers as being on Team PCO or Team FUN (aka Blondin’s team.) I counted a little over 350 based on the following calculation: There were ten round “VIP Tables” each with ten people at them. The parterre seats had room for just over 150 people and there were a little over 100 people in the stands. As the show went on the stands filled up a bit more, so I will be generous and credit them with 400. On the other hand, drawing 400 for a first promotion is a good start. On the gripping hand, Blondin and PCO were well placed to have the best first show of any Quebec show in history. Participating in the show were: PCP Crazy F’N Manny, the promoter of IWS; Sunny War Cloud, the promoter of the (defunct) CCW and numerous spot shows in rural Quebec; Fred la Merveille, promoter of MWF; Marc le Grizzly, promoter of the “Madness” spot shows that brought Samoa Joe, CM Punk, Roderick Strong and Austin Aries to Montreal; and Jake Matthews, who helped the (defunct) Gatineau promotion CPW promote shows in St-Jerome, the next town over from Blainville. Right there, you have one of the greatest collection of Quebec promoting experience ever gathered in one show. The punch line is that I am virtually certain that not one of them was asked, even as a courtesy, to provide the benefit of their experience. Sunny went out of his way when he was writing about his participation to say that he was going only as a wrestler and that he had nothing to do with the success or failure of the show, which felt a little like Pontius Pilate washing his hands of Jesus. Understand, I do not always agree with Sunny, but I always make damn sure that I know why I am disagreeing with him, because if I do not have a damn good reason why he is wrong, he is almost always right. (And most of the places where I am right and he is wrong have everything to do with running shows in Montreal. In St-Pascal-de-Cul-de-Chien, County of Bum-Fuck, Quebec, Sunny is probably right and I am probably wrong.) I know for a fact that no one asked for Manny and Fred’s input, which is bizarre because Marc Blondin took part in a red-hot IWS show Un F’N Sanctioned 2007 that packed the Medley. You would think that just being part of that atmosphere, you would want to ask the guys responsible for it how to recreate that magic. I think Manny and Fred suffer sometimes from the fact that it is easy to underestimate them. You look at the two, the eternal comedian unable to take anything seriously and the eternal adolescent trapped in a a Greek Fonzie impression and it becomes easy to believe that duplicating what they have achieved should be easy… until you pitch forward straight on to your face trying it. I have no way of knowing if Jake was tapped for his intimate knowledge of promoting in the area, but I would bet money that he was not. As for Grizzly, while his shows were always critically acclaimed, he is also easily the least successful promoter on the list in terms of drawing money and crowds or at least enough money to pay for the talent that he booked. (This is not to imply that Marc failed to pay his talent, just to imply that to pay for his talent he ended up dipping into his own pocket.) I do not know if Marc’s expertise was sought for the show although I do know that some of the people who helped Marc put on his shows, helped Blondin. I suspect that they were recruited for help because they helped put on Marc’s shows, but Marc’s advice was not sought. Which would be a little like asking me and DJ Stab Tony and Technical Difficulties to run a show without asking Manny for help. (This actually happens to me on a regular basis. Money marks approach me to help them promote their show(s). I invariably say that they will have to involve Manny. They reply that they do not want Manny’s help, they want mine. This is flattering, but pointless. I am only good at what I do because of Manny. We may fight like cats and dogs, in fact we rarely even speak to one another the week after a Medley show, but SHILL~ing for Manny means that I am SHILL~ing for something that I know has a decent chance to be worth a good God damn. I could SHILL~ for shit, but it would still stink.) At this point, the more perceptive amongst you might well be asking whether there is a certain amount of residual bitterness here built around the fact that they did not approach me for help either. Yup, they did not approach me for help. Yup, I am bitter about it. And Yup, the brain trust at ToW are idiots not to have asked any of the above for help or advice. They did pick a nice location for the show though. According to rumour, Blondin’s daughter rides at the Blainville Equestrian Park and he got the location cheap. It has a big huge nice lobby, perfect for lining up crowds. Entering the Equestrian Park proper, there are rows of benches to each side of the doors as you walk in. In front of you is the arena floor where the horses ride. This had a large curtain to your left cutting a quarter of the arena off to use as a backstage. The ring was set up to your right. To the back of the arena floor, near the curtains was an entrance built to look like a giant ghetto blaster, with ring barriers set at a diagonal to the ring creating an aisle for the wrestlers. Surrounding the ring at three sides were about 150 chairs, about fifty on each side. The side without chairs being the side facing the stands. On each side of the chairs, at the corners and the side without chairs were a series of VIP tables each with ten chairs. The idea for these being that the tables were sold for $300 or $30 per chair, but you could not buy individual places only the table. I am not entirely certain what else the tables came with. I have heard that each person at the table got a free ToW t-shirt, free food and free beer, but that seems like a money-losing proposition especially in front of a Quebec crowd. (The only way to lose money worse on that kind of give-a-way would be to throw in free smokes.) On your left as you came in was a square tent set up as the merchandise booth. I set up there with Pat LaPrade along with Pat’s Quebec Wrestling Almanacs, photos for Dan Paysan, videos and shirts for Lufisto and shirts for (naturally) shirt maestro Beef Wellington. The booth was also selling two different ToW shirts and two different PCO shirts: a PCO STYLE shirt that Beef designed and a “Deux Pieds de Bras” shirt which was nowhere near as nice as the Beef designed shirt. The booth was also selling a lot of car memorabilia, with flashy (literally) car-logo baseball caps and car models. I quickly got into a conflict with the guy running the booth, because I (gasp) actually talked to potential customers and tried to figure out what they might be interested in. The source of his discontent was that most of the people coming over to the booth were more interested in the wrestling products than they were in his stupid car memorabilia. He seemed to think that I was stealing his customers, but I am not going to try and sell a model car when someone wants to buy LaPrade’s almanac. LaPrade actually told the guy flat-out, “Mike has been running the merchandise booth at IWS for years. You are better off just letting him alone. You will sell more that way.” I ended up stationed at the corner of his booth as he bitched about the fact that I hadn’t paid for a spot. Sure, I also was not actually selling anything that belonged to me or that I was getting money from. I was trying to sell almanacs for LaPrade, pictures for Paysan, shirts for Lufisto, Beef and PCO and DVDs for Lufisto. (My one big parasite move of the day was to put flyers for the IWS on the chairs before the audience came in, but that was a tit-for-tat because we let Blondin do that at our show and he got more out of that than we did, because we had the bigger crowd and we actually announced his show during ours.) Also, we let Blondin sell tickets to his show at ours, although typical of the Gang Who Couldn’t Shoot Straight antics of ToW, the guy selling tickets set up at our booth right after the announcement for Blondin’s show was made, stayed for about five minutes and then dashed backstage to take part in an interview with Christian and never came back. Did not sell one. Naturally, as soon as he left, people came by looking for ToW tickets and since the moron had not left any for me to sell, I sold them IWS tickets instead. At the risk of displaying yet more bitterness, the smart thing for the moron running the merchandise booth to have done was to encourage me to sell his products as well as that of the wrestlers. It probably would not have helped his sales any, since they were the wrong products for the wrong crowd, but it would have given him his best shot rather than leaving his apathetic teen in charge of the booth who basically ignored the customers all show long, while the guy running the booth rather than actually RUNNING it, spent the entire show wringing his hands over the fact that he was not selling anything. Before the show, Rhino and Petey Williams came out and set up, Petey in the booth, Rhino just to the side of the booth in front of the Hummer on display and the wacky egg-shaped wheeled vehicle on display that later got turned into a demonstration event for how many strippers you could cram into an egg-shaped bicycle thingy. Rhino had a Polaroid instant camera and Petey had glossies. Rhino was charging people $10 a shot to have their picture taken with him and the polaroid signed. Petey was charging $10 for signed glossies. Rhino did way more business, opening three refills for the Polaroid each with ten shots and selling all of them. (This means that he either made $300 or $400 depending on whether the camera was loaded when he started or empty.) Petey probably sold five or six glossies. To the credit of both, they willingly signed for free anything else that was given to them like the back of ToW shirts and the program. The program was a little odd since it gave the order of the matches. We were making fun of that because it listed Williams vs Alex Shelley as the second match. Me, LaPrade, the Green Phantom and Raiden were all mocking that decision until it became apparent that rather than it being a stupid booking mistake, it was a stupid printing mistake. Other than the main event, the opening match and (I think) the fifth match, the order of the matches listed in the program was completely wrong. Hey two thousand plus words in and I have only talked about one match so far. That has to be some kind of record, even for me. And if you were about to criticize my pacing of the writing of this article, that I should have split all this bitching between each of the matches rather than cramming it in between the first and second match, you know exactly how we felt as ToW played an seemingly endless series of promos none bad in and of themselves, although the decision to play an entire Hulk Hogan promo with Marc Blondin translating circa the Hulkster’s feud with the One Man Gang was a very odd choice. This is probably as good a place as any to complain about the fact that for a promotion run by a wrestling announcer, the guy that he hired to announce the show was DREADFUL. He blew his voice ragged in the first match and had no understanding of crowd psychology. I mean he was trying to get the crowd to start a T-O-W chant which is hard to do in a promotion that has been around for a while, but simply pathetic at a promotion’s first show. I mean why are people going to chant before the very first match? And even after the first match, well, while well received that match was nothing to prompt chanting. **************** Combat par Elimination a Six Lutteurs Player Uno vs. Stupefied vs. Alex Price vs. James Kraven vs. Deniss Sensation vs. Jimmy Stone Deniss Sensation eliminated Jamea Kraven with a top rope splash at 5:37. James Kraven hit a top rope 360 splash on Deniss Sensation then rolled Stupefied on top for the pin at 10:15. Alex Price pinned Stupified at 11:59. Player Uno pinned Alex Price at 12:25. Vanessa Kraven pinned both Player Uno and Jimmy Stone to win the match at 16:46. This was more like it. I had concerns going in that this match featuring NCW cruisers and IWS cruisers with very little experience with each other was going to be a total train wreck, but it came together quite nicely and was arguably the match of the night. The match was fought Lucha Libre style with new wrestlers checking in as other wrestlers rolled out of the ring, or (more likely) were thrown out (or even more likely) dove out. Lufisto reffed with brisk energy in a ref bikini sports top and a ref skirt. The early star was Deniss Sensation given the ball and a chance to run with it, he did very well in the spotlight. Deniss brought the crowd to its feet early on with a SWEEEEET leaping lariat which might have seemed like a gauntlet thrown at Guil Reno’s feet, if Reno’s own lesser lariat had not happened about an hour before. Jimmy Stone made himself the heel of the match early on by grabbing Alex Price in mid-air to prevent a Price dive to the disgust of the crowd. Stupefied got the better of James Kraven, but Deniss Senstation killed Stupefied and threw him out of the ring to give himself the chance to splash Jimmy K from the top for the pin and the first elimination. The elimination of Mr. Toilet Skirt prompted a general dive sequence started by Deniss Sensation with a shoulder-first dive. Despite having prevented Alex Price from diving earlier on, Jimmy Stone shrugged and joined in the dive from the apron. Alex Price and Stupefied faced off in the ring, but decided to combine forces in a double dive. Back inside, Deniss Sensation missed a splash and Alex Price threw him into the corner before Quebec’s resident Milton Berle (by which I refer neither to his influence on television, nor the size of his dick) hit Deniss with an OLE! Kick. The Priceless One went up top where he was quickly joined by Player Uno and Stupefied. The four fought up top until Lufisto yanked all four off to splat on the canvas to the cheers of the crowd. Poor sport James Kraven, who had been sulking at ring side looking for his chance, hit the already stunned Deniss Sensation with a 360 splash and dragged Stupefied on top for the pin. Stupefied built on that momentum against his Super Smash Brother, Player Uno with a Spanish Fly. (This perked up the Green Phantom who got hit with it out of nowhere during the IWS show where he got injured Know Your Enemies 2007 and he never got a really good like at the move until the ToW show.) Alex Price got involved in the Super Smash Squabble and eliminated Stupefied. Uno took offence and quickly disposed of Alex Price. That left Player Uno and Jimmy Stone to fight it out and the crowd was solidly behind uno… Uno… UNO… UNO! who hit Stone square on the top of his pointed head with a Goomba Stomp, before throwing his elbow pad into the crowd. Jimmy rallied and went up top but Uno caught and crotched him. Both men were fighting up top and it seemed clear that we were building to a big finish, one that Jimmy Stone seemed destined to win since he had none of the pins in the match and it seemed to be one of those matches where everybody got a little something, something… Then Vanessa Kraven hit the ring, killed both men and pinned the two of them before grabbing the mike to announce that it was time for Blainville to welcome some, “REAL MEN! 2.0.” OK that really really really worked. Good use of Vanessa Kraven as a monster. Good way to introduce 2.0 as heels. Good way to transition from one match to another. (In the IWS, we call this ECW booking because one match organically bleeds into another and it was in ECW that most of us first saw this practiced.) Combat Par Equipe 2.0 with Vanessa Kraven vs. Beef Wellington and Raid 2.0 pinned Beef Wellington with the Sweet Taste of Professionalism at 10:23. Fred la Merveille was ref. I didn’t realize that he was going to be a ref and neither did LaPrade, Raiden or the Green Phantom so we shared a communal WTF? Moment. 2.0 are Shane Matthews and Jagged. They are awesome, but you knew that or if you did not you should. Beef Wellington is your most colourful wrestler in Quebec, your tasseled hero to kiddies everywhere and the greatest T-Shirt salesman ever to hit the squared circle. Raid is a NCW wrestler who is the latest in random partners that Beef has been saddled with in his battles with 2.0 over the years. (Putting an IWS wrestler with an NCW wrestler in a tag team and trying to pretend that the pairing makes sense is right out of the Mark le Grizzly playbook. The Arsenal, to this day, complains about being forced to pair with Jimmy Kraven in a Madness show.) Shane Matthews and Beef started. Shane tried to knock down Beef with a series of shoulder blocks, but kept failing. When he finally built enough momentum to threaten Beef’s vertical stability, Beef side-stepped and tripped him. Jagged tagged in and Raid gave him a series of drop toe holds from every conceivable angle. Shane, Jagged and Raid got involved in a three-way submission chain, until Beef grabbed hold of one end of the chain and turned it over to twist all three men to the delight of the crowd. Beef and Raid started chopping (Jagged? checked yup Jagged!) silly. Beef chops loudly, Raid not so much. Ref Fred la Merveille was invited to take part in the chop-fest and he also chops much louder than Raid. Shane Matthews got Beef in trouble and sarcastically began a “Beef” chant which the crowd picked up much to Shane’s disgust. At this point, four strippers from the Saint-Pierre strip club walk in and totally distracted the crowd… and me. (Only in Quebec would a strip club be named after a saint.) Raid saved Beef eventually and Vanessa Kraven came in to deck him. Raid took her off her feet with a hair pull, so Vanessa turned him into a Sopran-OH! by driving his nuts up into his throat for the lese-majeste. Vanessa exited the ring regally, but Jagged invited her back in to finish off the broken remains of Raid. Unfortunately for Vanessa, doing so made her a target for a Beef Wellington Ass Punch. Beef’s victory was short-lived however as he got double-teamed with 2.0’s much copied Sweet Taste of Professionalism finisher for the pin. In revenge, Raid gave after match Stunners to 2.0. Ref Fred la Merveille was eventually encouraged to give Vanessa Kraven a Stunner. Blondin came to the ring with Maxime Boyer and Chakal as I am distracted by a rush of people looking for Beef shirts. They had been announcing the standings between Team PCO and Team FUN, but those announcements made no sense (they announced that the score was 4-2 after three matches and one of the three matches the six man had featured no members of either team.) and since I generally assumed that everything would boil down to PCO vs. Rhyno, I stopped trying to figure out the nonsensical scoring system. PCO came out to confront Blondin. Boyer and Chakal attacked, but get chucked. Blondin threatened to attack PCO from behind, but got caught. Rhino charged in to make the save. The locker room cleared and we are treated to the bizarre spectacle of Alex Price begging Rhino not to attack PCO - to save it for the main event. Rhino glared at him and Alex tossed him the mike in a great toss/catch combo, like they had been practicing it for months. Rhino on the mike, “PCO, I don’t give a damn about you. I don’t give a damn about Montreal. I came here to beat you and that’s what I do. After I beat you, you will need a job. I’ll put in a good word for you with TNA (Yay!} We need someone to sweep the ring. (Boo!} You think you’re special because you’re from Montreal. Well, Montreal SUCKS!” Nice old school heel stuff here. It reversed the dynamic going into the show every one expected Blondin to be the face and PCO the heel, although you have to wonder about the wisdom of doing a heel-turn on your very first show. Blondin brought out Ed Filion of the Montreal Alouettes to be his personal bodyguard, which is one of those mixed bag things. On one hand, Filion is an Alouette and thus beloved. On the other hand, Filion is the dirtiest player ever to wear the Als uniform, possibly ever to play in the CFL, so he is an automatic heel. On the gripping hand, if you need a bodyguard, you and he are automatic heels. And on the fourth hand, this should have been a big freaking red flag that Filion was not coming back next year and in fact he announced his retirement in Saturday’s Montreal Gazette a week after the ToW show. I wonder how much the timing of that announcement had to do with this show… if any. According to my notes, “PCO sucks up to the crowd.” And as if we haven’t killed enough time at this point they play this totally bizarre video promo with Blondin and Chakal where Blondin dropped Tobey Maguire’s name for no reason at all other than the fact that Spiderman 3 just opened. Combat en Simple Bishop vs. Chakal Bishop pinned Chakal after 8:56. As though the maybe there was a point there in-ring promo and the even more pointless video promo package was not enough to kill the momentum generated by the six man and the tag match, here come Chakal and Bishop out to suck out all the heat from the crowd like the oxygen being sucked out of an open door on the Space Shuttle. At this point, Chakal and Bishop have fought so often that even they are bored by the match. To be nice for a tiny moment, I should say that both Bishop and Chakal are talented wrestlers. Talented, but so old school that they have to scrape dinosaur shit off their wrestling boots on the way to the ring, but still talented. The problem is that once you have gotten the crowd fired up with a great cruiser match and funny tag match, throwing these two guys out is like riding a skateboard down a hill straight into a patch of Super-Glue, especially when you sabotage them by killing the crowd before they come out. Really bad placement of the match. My enthusiasm killed along with the crowds, I went to grab something to eat while Pat LaPrade took notes for me. “Crowd = Dead. Chakal dominates match. Blondin throws in the towel because he was discouraged by all the two counts. (NCW) Ref stops the match. Blondin cause he’s the boss restarts the match. Bishop wins 8:56.” Combat Extreme par Equipe Sunny War Cloud and Samson vs. Les Bouchard Simard de Marc le Grizzly (Tank, Mad Dog, Tolo, NCW Security (Oz) and an anonymous Hot Girl (D-Vyn)) Mad Dog pinned Sunny War Cloud at 9:22 after Marc burned Sunny with a fire ball. I guess the reason that they broke up the Sunny War Cloud/Guil Reno team for this show was to give Sunny a slightly larger partner against his massive opponents. And I mean massive. Tank’s right leg probably weighs more than Guil Reno. Lufisto was ref and she had taken off her ref skirt in favour of black shorts. Sunny War Cloud’s chief claim to fame is that (according to him) if his personal life had been less screwed up, he would have been Tatanka in the WWF. If you need someone to take a sick chair shot, Sunny is your go-to guy. The man has skin like leather. Oddly coloured, weirdly aged leather. Les Bouchard Simard seem to be inspired by Les Bougons who are basically a white trash Quebecois TV family doing a Trailer Park Boys riff in the original French. They did in fact hit Sunny with many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many chair shots. Samson briefly rescued his partner, but then foolishly dove out of the ring through Tank and a table. (Actually, I saw neither Tank nor the table. I saw Samson dive, heard the crunch, counted Bouchards and found Tank missing. Ring side witnesses later confirmed it.) With Samson out of the way, Grizzly went all Memphis old school and hit Sunny with a fire ball. After being hit by more chair shots on the back than the Rock hit Foley with in their I Quit match, Sunny sold fire like death and Mad Dog picked up the pin. The strippers from Saint-Pierre were there for a Bikini contest. Blondin took over the mike to announce them, and I thought that someone was stealing Sexxxy Eddy’s music for the strippers, but no! Blondin was being quickly booted by Sexxxy Eddy who lead a series of crowd cheers for the strippers who paraded around in bikini tops and so-tight they look like they were painted on jeans. Also, they all had Sunny War Cloud’s tan. Eddy refused to name a winner, and declared “On gagne toutes ce soir!” Now right here, it would have made perfect sense for Eddy’s match to start with the strippers ripping Eddy’s clothes off, but instead they milled around waiting to double-dip, and totally distracting the crowd... and me... from the Dan Paysan vs. Max Boyer match, while they played the “How many strippers can you stuff into an egg-shaped bicycle thingy?” game. Combat en Simple Dan Paysan vs. Max Boyer Dan Paysan pinned Max Boyer at 8:52 This match was just missing something, something. Perhaps because the crowd was not paying attention. Mostly, I think it was because both Max and Dan are faces in Quebec at the moment, and while Max was technically the heel in the match, he wasn’t heeling it up as much as he could. The match was competent and well executed, but lacked passion. During the match, I was further distracted by Beef’s appearance at the merchandise booth who was thrilled to hear that he had sold a bunch of shirts. Beef was wearing an “I Love Taylor Rain” shirt and lamented that his obsessive reading of her blog had dimmed his romantic passion for her, although he still wanted “to do vicious nasty things to her for hours,” Somewhere around here, Dan won the match, but I had no idea how. Beef was distracted by the strippers and their tans. Pat LaPrade had no idea, so I dispatched him to find someone who did. While he was gone on this mission, the really bad ToW ring announcer tried to lead the crowd in a cheer for the ToW accountant. Seriously, WTF!?! Combat Triple Menace Franky the Mobster with Josianne the Pussycat vs. Sexxxy Eddy vs. “Paranoid” Jake Matthews with Lollipop Franky the Mobster superplexed Jake Matthews through a table. Eddy covered for the pin at 8:58. Eddy pinned Franky the Mobster for the win at 15:58 with a surprise roll-up. Eddy was back with the four strippers. To Beef’s amusement and frankly our mutual awe, Eddy proceeded to grope each of the strippers in turn and to build a stripper pile finishing with Eddy tearing his pants off as the four strippers reached up to fondle his dick. “You know it's hard out here for a pimp!” Jake Matthews was out next with Lollipop, who for the first time that I can remember is actually sucking on a lollipop. The idiot announcer announced him as “Jacky Matthews”. Franky the Mobster is out with Josianne the Pussycat. Sadly, no “I want Pussy!” chants for Josianne like she gets from the twelve year olds in ALF. Franky was wearing the red bullet pants that he breaks out for special occasions. The idiot announcer called him Frank having used up his quota of “y”s on Jacky. Frank and Jacky made an alliance to start the match, but Eddy took them both down with a rope flip splash. Eddy wanted to do a noggin-knocker, but Frank and Jacky were both too strong, until Eddy started stomping on toes. Eddy Irish Whipped Frank, Jacky, Josianne and Lollipop into the corner leading to a four-way orgy pile-up. While Frank and Jacky roll to the outside to regroup Eddy groped Lollipop and kissed Josianne. Frank and Jacky came back in, kill Eddy and then fight. Possibly as an after-effect of the pile-up earlier, Frank grabbed Jacky’s ass, who retaliated by grabbing Frank by the balls. At this point, Lollipop and Josianne cleared the ring and started fighting. The NCW ref took off his ref shirt and handed it to Eddy who reffed the cat-fight. Lollipop won the match at 3:28 from the start of the match. Lacking two stop-watches, I have no idea how long the cat-fight was, maybe a minute. Frank came back in and took out his valet Josianne with a lariat, while Eddy was humping Lollipop doggie-style. Jacky charged back in and after throwing both guys into separate corners and placing chairs over their faces, killed them both with charges to their corners. The crowd, scenting blood, began chanting “We Want Tables!”, but Jacky stopped the chants old school by murdering Eddy dead. Then killed Frank into a chair. At this point, we were wondering if the ring was miked or something because the bumps sounded much louder for these guys than for any of the other matches to this point. LaPrade came back to report that no one actually saw the end of the Paysan/Boyer match. It either happened too quickly or everyone was too busy watching the strippers. Back in the match, everybody spilled outside, giving Lollipop a chance to grab Jacky’s trusty shovel. Jacky set up a table in the ring and he and Lollipop put Eddy on it. Jacky went up top... to be crotched by Frank. Eddy, driven by some instinct of self-preservation, rolled off the table, just before Frank superplexed Jacky through the table. Eddy vultured the pin and we all thought the match was over until the idiot ring announcer announced that Jacky Matthews had been eliminated. Well, if any of the matches on the show deserved overtime, this was the one. Eddy was outside convinced that he had won, and he ate a Special Event Taker Tope from Frank. Eddy recovered quickly and threw Frank into the crowd. Eddy vaulted on to the apron for a pull-up ring rope sault, thought better of it and did his own Taker Tope for slightly more distance than Frank. Eddy began throwing chairs into the ring and eventually slid Frank in as well. Frank was playing possum though and he caught Eddy from behind with a wheelbarrow into a neck-breaker. Frank used Eddy’s chairs to build a fort and killed Eddy dead with a power bomb into the chairs, but he took too long celebrating and his lackadaisical cover only got Johnny ACE! A disgusted Frank started an “Eddy” chant for shits and giggles. The crowd started chanting “Franky” - apparently not fooled by the ring announcer - so he roared, “You don’t understand! I’m the BAD GUY here!” While Frank was busy name dropping Scott Hall, Eddy recovered and grabbed Frank for a surprise roll-up and the win. After the match, Frank killed the NCW ref dead. That was pretty god damn fucking good. One of the strippers came to the table at this point to admire Beef’s shirts. I was going to talk to her, but Beef literally appeared out of nowhere to take over. Meanwhile, Alex Shelley had come to the ring wearing an IWS shirt and prepared to SHOOT! “Let me tell you how my day has gone. I got up really early this morning to fly to this godforsaken place in a plane filled with chickens and crates to get to this dump where you don’t speak English at your (and I use the word loosely) International Airport who promptly lost my luggage. I am wearing Max Boyer’s tights and a girl, Lufisto’s, kick-pads (and an IWS shirt) and I have to fight some Canadian midget. Bring out the enhancement talent!” Combat Special TNA Alex Shelley vs. Petey Williams Alex Shelley tapped to the Canadian Crab at 16:23. Lufisto was ref. She had changed into a black skirt, because there is apparently some law that no Quebec joshi will appear in consecutive matches wearing the same outfit. I haven’t asked her if she has had her “Alex Shelley sweat on these” kick-pads framed or anything. I should. We got Japanese intros. As we watch the surprisingly loose and sloppy match, LaPrade reminds me that Dan Paysan beat Petey Williams in a match in Ontario last year. Aside from the fact that Blondin presumably paid a lot of money for what was generously the fifth best match on the card, I object to this match for the exact reason that it was booked. It was advertised as a TNA match. Now, why would I spend money to go to a live show to see a match that I can see for free on TV? (Actually, I got in for free to T.o.W. too.) The philosophy of Quebec bookers has almost always been that if you are bringing in a guy like Petey Williams, you put him up against your local guy, like say Dan Paysan, because it elevates the local guy, hopefully the local guy learns something from the experience, and it gives the local fans a match that they would never see otherwise. Bringing in Petey Williams and Alex Shelley to do the same damn match that they have been doing for years at TNA is just a complete waste. Plus, it really was not very good. It was not actively bad, but given the talent in the ring, it seriously failed to meet expectations. Dan Paysan joined us at this point to try and sell some pictures. (He didn’t.) I asked him what the finish of his match was against Maxime Boyer was, but I get distracted by Fred la Merveille arriving to ref the main event. Hey! Fred’s in the main event! Good for him! PCP Crazy F’N Manny was in PCO’s corner which made him a baby face... and that hurt my head. Manny cut an intense promo about having PCO’s back. The idiot announcer has been replaced but not by Blondin, It is obviously some other famous Quebec ring announcer who is actually, you know, good, but I have no idea who it is. (DreNuke, a terser French version of me, only he actually knows stuff and can be at three shows simultaneously, tells me that it was Rodger Brulotte. This naturally should mean something. It doesn’t at least to me. ) “DrÉ says: the expos announcer BONSOIR ELLE EST PARTIEEEEEE!!!” (Well, I feel stupid. Not a new feeling.) Combat Principal de la Soiree Pierre Carl Ouellet with PCP Crazy F’N Manny vs. Rhino with Marc Blondin and CFL star Ed Filion Rhino gored referee Fred la Merveille through PCO and a table set up in the corner. Marc Blondin counted the pin at 17:52 The crowd was really into this match, and if the guys taping the match were competent at all, it will probably come across great on DVD, but like a Viking match. this match might as well have been sponsored by the Canadian National Institute for the Blind, because I COULDN’T SEE SHIT! Which reminds me of a few more people whose talents did not get tapped and shaefully so for this show. First neither EXesS, Quebec’s most hated wrestler and arguably one of its most talented, nor Viking the IWS champion were on the card. The weird thing about that is that at the Medley show that Blondin was at Un F’N Sanctioned 2007, while he was waiting back stage to announce Christian Cage, the IWS crowd was going APE-SHIT for EXesS vs. Viking, the match of the night. If you were planning a big show wouldn’t you want the guys who caused that pandemonium to be involved? IDIOTS. Also, I have my doubts about the geniuses who taped the show. They had really expensive equipment, but that does not mean that they actually know how to use the equipment and being able to point a camera does not make you qualified to cover a sporting event let alone a wrestling event where part of your responsibility is protecting the wrestlers and the business. Naturally, no one asked Matt Fortune for his advice or his help. I told Matt that the brain trust taping the show set up the hard cam on the ring entrance and then left no one to monitor it. I could hear his eyes rolling all the way from Ottawa. While not watching the match or rather watching it and seeing nothing, I handed Dan my notes to write down the finish of his match, “Max tries a back suplex off the top rope but Paysan reverses it into a crossbody for the 1-2-3!” Dan writes about himself in the third person. Good to know. What I did see of the match: PCO, one of the craziest high flying big men ever, did his cannonball out of the ring through something crunchy, presumably Rhino and a table. PCO signalled for victory by adjusting his “Dat Blue Ting” and took Rhino out, but the fact that PCO counted to five counted for nothing with Fred la Merveille hors du combat. Blondin and Ed Filion got involved. Manny saved PCO from them, but paid for it by getting SLAUGHTERED by a blistering Rhino chair shot. I mean, I was feeling bad for Manny. Kudos to Rhino. Poor Fred got used by Rhino as a weapon against PCO. I am guessing the fact that Blondin counted the pin will be used by PCO as justification why he should not lose his job. For the record: Team PCO wins Bishop Dan Paysan Petey Williams Team FUN wins: 2.0 Les Bouchard Simard Rhino So, the show was a TIE!?! Ugh, God knows there was some good wrestling here, but this could have been so much more. The problem with reinventing the wheel, is that if you don’t know what you are doing, you make all the mistakes that went into making the first wheel. I texted Manny as a joke to ask when the next ToW show was. He, not joking, replied October. That’s the problem with Quebec wrestling in a nut shell right there. Everyone has to be a promoter, No one can team together to make one big successful wrestling promotion. Everybody wants to be a Chief. No one is willing just to be a just a normal Indian.

Strong Style Typings Scarred For Life DEATH of a Team ROCK VS. COCK There are days that I love my job. There are days that I hate my job. And then there are the average days where I just hate my boss. You know. PCP Crazy F'N Manny. Him. Manny: "Why haven't you posted the card yet Lake-Whore?" "Oh. I don't know Manny. Maybe because I have been busy at work doing a job where I actually get paid. Maybe because I came down with writer's block. But mostly, mostly, because you haven't FUCKING told me what the FUCKING card is." Manny: "That's a pathetic excuse." "Manny, I have been pleading for the card for weeks." Manny: "You asked me for the card, but you did not PERSUADE me that you needed it. You need to PERSUADE me Lake-Whore." "Someone has been watching Last King of Scotland." Manny: "All right. Announce Twiggy vs. Juan." "Sure, I will get right on that. WAIT A COTTON-DAMN PICKING MINUTE! Juan is fighting Twiggy? Since When?" Manny: "Since those two under-sized morons came to my office and demanded a title shot, just because they beat Hi-5." "Hi-5 are former tag team champions." Manny: "When I want your opinion, I will tell you what it is." "So instead of the Rock and Cock Expreess. We get Rock vs. Cock." Manny: "That's right." "Manny, those two guys are best friends. They went to the same school. They are both from the Laurentians. They trained together. They were broom boys together. They broke into the IWS together. They practically finish each other sentences. And you want them to fight each other." Manny: "No, that would be stupid." "Oh good... for a minute there I was worried." Manny: "I want them to KILL each other." "WHAT? And how the hell do you plan to arrange that?" Manny: "I gave them a little incentive." "I don't like the sound of that." Manny: "I haven't fired any one in a while...." "Except for me and DJ Stab Tony." Manny: "SHUT UP! You can talk when I tell you to talk. People get upset when I fire people " "Can't imagine why." Manny: "Why are you talking right now? I have decided that instead of firing someone, I am going to hire someone." "..." Manny: "Go ahead. You have a question." "That makes no damn sense Manny." Manny: "Let me make it easy for you Lake-Whore. At Scarred For Life, we are going to have a Winner Keeps His Job Match. Pornstar Juan vs. Twiggy." "WHAT? But that means that the Rock and Cock Express are DEAD, FINISHED, KAPUT!" Manny: "Make your announcement Lake-Whore. The BOSS has spoken!" Yeah, so my Boss sucks. Also, there is supposedly a tape of Juan and Twiggy asking Manny for the title shot and Manny snapping and ordering this match instead, only no one will admit to actually having the tape. But I am told that it exists. *********************************************** STYLLLLLLLLLEEE Allow me just to apologize if I mangle this at all. I was taking notes in the back stage area of ToW, he was out of breath, but somehow talking a mile a minute and he was being attended to by a really pretty nurse who moonlights at the Saint-Mathieu strip club, so I was a little distracted. And you know, je suis juste un Pauvre Acadien après tout. On parle ni l’un ni l’autre. "Je n’etait pas pret avant. Pas parce j’avais peur de perdre contre cette p’tit gars. Non. Y hardcore en masse ca je l’admet. Hardcore avec deux tetes comme le p’tit Carl dit, mais je n’avais jamais peur de perdre le match contre lui. Ce qui me donnait du peur c’est que apres mon blessure que je serais pas pret pour le titre. J’en ai porter cette titre avec fierte et j’en ai hante de le porter encore un fois. Pas pour les fans. Je m’en crisse d’eux. Combien d’eux on venu me voir dans l’hopital. Aucune. Combien on crier mon nom pendant que j’etait parti - blesser. Aucune! Non, je reprends cette titre pour moi, pour mon gloire personnel a moi et c’est a cause de ca que j’ai hesiter avant. Parce que je vais etre un champion PARFAIT pour le IWS. Un champion avec du STYLE. Alors mon victoire contre Viking, ca aussi il devrait etre PARFAIT et avec du STYLE. Ce soir j’ai lutter et j’ai battu contre l’un des meilleurs lutteurs dans toute le monde: Mon ancien chum Rhino. Oui c’est lui qui avait son main lever en victoire, mais il a ete battu par moi. Vous le savez. Ca pris Ed Filion, puis Mark Blondin, puis un crisse de ref mal placer, puis un table pour m’arracher le victoire qui m’appartenait. Mais ce soir, je sais que je suis prete. Prete pour un victoire PARFAIT. Pret pour un victoire PCO STTTTYYYYYYLLLE! Pret pour le nouvelle ceinture IWS. Je l’ai vu et je le veut. Y a du STYLE cette ceinture la. Ca va aller PARFAITEMENT comme mon propre ceinture a moi quand je battre Viking et je redeviens Champion de l’IWS." WAIT A MINUTE! The IWS has a new belt and Viking doesn’t have it? (And I haven’t seen it yet? WHAT THE HELL?) Just a second I have a text message from Manny coming in: Manny: “Tell the fans that whoever beats Viking gets the new belt. Nobody gets to see it until then.” “Even me?” Manny: “Even you Lake-Whore.” Excuse me just a second. I have to grab a bar of soap. Mother-Fucking Son-of-a-Bitch. Fils de Chien, Maudit de Asti Caulis de Fucking Ass-Hole! *********************************************** And Now A Message From Our Sponsor You know it just occurred to me that with the Rock and Cock Express being dynamited by Manny, that one of my sources of revenue is going to dry up. I mean why would Twiggy and Juan pay me to put them over like gangbusters when there is no more Twiggy AND Juan? Also, this just in - Breaking Not Really News to Anyone - PCP Crazy F’N Manny, my Boss, Asshole-About-Town, is a (gasp of a fake surprise) a TERRIBLE LIAR. Apparently the “lost” tape of the Rock vs. Cock match being set up is not so badly lost after all, or rather, Twiggy and Juan took the precaution of getting a copy before it was given to Manny to “archive” in a big green City of Montreal filing receptacle. They are making arrangement to get the tape up momentarily, which will prove exactly how much of a liar Manny really is. In the meantime, Twiggy had this to say: “Even if this is the last RNC match ever, we're gonna do what we do every show and come to the ring as a team and at the end of the night...we are gonna leave the ring as a team.” Amen, my brother. *********************************************** You Don’t Have to Be Paranoid… Kevin Steen has been back in the IWS for barely a month and he is already pissing people off. The only good thing about that (because Kevin Steen pisses people off as easy as breathing) is that Kevin is picking the right people to piss off for once. Anyone who makes PCP Crazy F’N Manny’s life a living hell…and does so while I have ring side seats to watch… is okay by my book. Lately, Kevin doesn’t even let the door close behind him before he is yelling, “What the hell do you think you are doing now, you drugged out moron? Do you even have two brain cells left alive anymore to rub together to buy a clue?” So, Manny was strutting around like a King boasting about he had convinced Kevin Steen to make a commitment to the IWS. (Kevin would say that he was always committed to the IWS, it was just that this is the first time in two years where Manny has been organized enough to give Kevin dates far enough in advance that Kevin could guarantee his presence rather than calling Kevin after he had already received plane tickets to wrestle elsewhere.) That glorious feeling for Manny lasted all of about sixty seconds. Which would explain I suppose why Mr. Anger Management finally blew up at Kevin and announced that he did not care how many tickets Mr. Wrestling sold or how many PPVs he had been on or how many other federations were begging for him to appear, Manny had made him and Manny could break him… Or rather, find someone who could. And the ruthless sociopath that Manny’s rolodex was open to? The maniac that Manny has hired not just to beat Kevin Steen but to end his career? Filed under “S” for “SCUM” (Yes, I do do Manny’s filing for him. How did you guess?) The shovel-waving maniac himself, “Paranoid” Jake Matthews. Of course, the real question is, when Manny announced this match why the hell was Kevin Steen looking so damn smug about it? Almost as if he had manipulated Manny into booking that match… Scarred For Life Card To Date ROCK vs. COCK Winner Keeps Their Job Match: Pornstar Juan vs. Twiggy SCUM vs. STEEN “Paranoid” Jake Matthews vs. “Mr. Wrestling” Kevin Steen IWS Title Match Pierre-Carl Ouellet vs. Viking The dates that Kevin Steen has confirmed with the IWS: May 26th, Scarred For Life June 16th,Body Count July 14th. Summer Slaughter August 18th, Hardcore Heat September 29th, Blood, Sweat and Beers at the Medley Plan Accordingly. The IWS presents: Scarred For Life 2007, Saturday, May 26th, 2007 at Bogey’s World Bar & Billiard, 3250 Cremazie Est (corner of Cremazie and St-Michel near the St-Michel metro), Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:00 pm, show starts at 8:00 pm, tickets are $20 for VIP, $15 for Regular. 18+, card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.syndicatewrestling.com or e-mail [email protected] . Our DVDs for each show are released through www.smartmarkvideo.com. Our most recent release is Un F’N Sanctioned 2007 featuring then NWA World Heavyweight Champion Christian Cage - http://www.smartmarkvideo.com/main/index.p...6b66a85q4734bui . Our best-selling DVD from last year is Un F’N Sanctioned 2006 featuring Sabu’s last match in the indies before his re-debut on Raw (two nights later) as well as the crazy hardcore Fans Bring the Weapons match - http://www.smartmarkvideo.com/main/index.p...;ref=iwsdvd0043

Steen Returns - Viking Defends Ninjas Win - Phantom Bleeds In a wild evening, the Hardcore Ninjaz won the International Wrestling Syndicate Tag Team Titles for a record fourth time in a match that they were not even scheduled to be a part of. During the chaos of the end of that match, the Green Phantom’s arm was gashed open by light tubes and a barbed wire chair. Much to the Phantom’s disgust, he was brought to the nearest hospital by ambulance, stretchered out at the insistence of the paramedics during the main event. The Green Phantom is fine. He had three internal stitches and ten external stitches. He checked himself out of the hospital (against his doctor’s advice) within five minutes of the last stitch being tied. Sexxxy Eddy, the Green Phantom’s partner, told me that the Phantom was mostly angry at being forced to leave the IWS show during the main event, and absolutely furious that the paramedics refused to let him walk to the ambulance. The Phantom grabbed a taxi cab outside the hospital, refused to share it with Eddy, and left his tag team partner stranded at the hospital as the Phantom returned to the Ancient Green Hills of Two Mountains. During the main event, Viking narrowly defended his IWS title in a wild three-way brawl with Kevin Steen and “Paranoid” Jake Matthews. The fighting was so intense that when Steen and Viking rampaged their way through the merchandise area laying waste to it much like Godzilla and King Ghidorah tearing through downtown Tokyo, about fifty hockey fans in the next room abandoned watching the Stanley Cup playoffs to witness the chaos and stayed to see the end of the match. Know Your Enemies 2007 Quick and Dirty Results Saturday, April 28th, 2007 Bogey's World Montreal, Quebec, CANADA Attendance 289 (About fifty people watching the hockey playoffs in the next room, came storming in to watch when the main event disintegrated into a street fight. So the end of the show was seen by close to 350 people.) Shayne Hawke vs. Kenny the Bastard Kenny wins with a roll-up after 7:56 Rock and Cock Express (Pornstar Juan and Twiggy) vs. Hi-5 (Beef Wellington and Kid Kamikaze) Rock and Cock Express were credited with the win when Twiggy hit Beef Wellington with a top rope cross body block at 14:36, even though Juan was tapping to Kid Kamikaze's STF at the time. EXesS Open Challenge: EXesS vs. Justin White EXesS beat Justin White with a roll-up after 13:51. Shane Matthews vs. Fred la Merveille Shane won in 9:44 with help from Uncle Manny. IWS Tag Title Match: Champions: Green Oil Two: Electric Boogaloo (The Green Phantom and Sexy Eddie) vs. Number One Contenders: The Super Smash Brothers (Player Uno and Stupefied) vs. The Hardcore Ninjaz The Hardcore Ninjaz pinned the Green Phantom to win at 15:10 and become the new IWS tag team champions. IWS Title Match: Champion: Viking vs. "Paranoid" Jake Matthews vs. "Mr. Wrestling" Kevin Steen Viking won to retain his title at 16:40, pinning Jake Matthews after a vicious chair shot to the back. ******************************************************************** Know Your Enemies 2007 Detailed Results Shayne Hawke opened the show with a paranoid rant about how he was screwed out of a win at Un F’N Sanctioned 2007 in his Quebec Rules match against Fred la Merveille. Even paranoids are sometimes right, and Shayne has plenty to complain about after this match. His opponent, Kenny the Bastard was born in New Zealand, but was recently made a full Canadian citizen or pet or something in a complicated animal exchange with the Auckland Zoo. The minute he was no longer in danger of being deported, Kenny showed his true stripes by joining Fred la Merveille’s newly reformed Quebec nationalist stable, the SLI. Fred gave Kenny a lot of help in this match, saving him from being pinned on at least three occasions. It looked like Kenny had the match won when he hit Shayne with his Slither Splash, but le Maudit Roux rallied to kick out at two. Looking for an advantage to counter Fred’s interference, Shayne removed the top turnbuckle pad, but was struck down by the hand of irony, when IWS referee C J Scott noticed the turnbuckle was missing. As a result, Scott had his back turned to the action, replacing the pad, when Shayne Hawke destroyed Kenny and covered him for a King Kong Bundy five count. While Shayne confronted Scott over the non-count, Kenny desperately attacked Shayne from behind and rolled him up for the win at 7:56. Manny came out with “Paranoid” Jake Matthews and Lollipop to gloat over the success of Un F’N Sanctioned 2007 and after making his usual claims about being the youngest, most successful, best looking wrestling promoter with the biggest dick, proceeded to announce that he was pleased to announce that Viking’s title reign was finally going to come to a close as he had found a hired gun to help Jake Matthews beat Viking for the title, “I convinced Kevin Steen to cancel Ring of Honor. I told him I needed him for one night only to beat Viking to within an inch of his life so that Jake Matthews can pin him and I can have a real Heavy-Weight champion for the IWS.” Kevin Steen came out and was quick to say that he had not cancelled ROH at Manny’s request, but had called Manny to tell him that for personal reasons he would be in town for the weekend and was free to wrestle. “You didn’t tell me nothing. I don’t do what you tell me to do. Of course I am in the main event. The last time I was in the IWS main event was last August for Hardcore Heat. You remember Manny? You told me to kill Viking and take his title. Well I beat that crazy bastard to within an inch of his life, we put on the match of the year and the only reason that I did not win the title is because Viking is the toughest son of a bitch that I have ever met in the ring. And when I was sitting in the back, picking thumbtacks out of my skull you came up to me and started screaming about how I failed. I thought about that a lot, Manny. I thought about that when I was in Japan and I heard that you brainwashed PCO into being your muscle. So, yeah, I am here to beat Viking to within an inch of his life, again. But I am not here for just one night. For the first time in two and a half years, you actually are organized enough to give me dates six months in advance, so for the first time in two and a half years, I can actually say that KEVIN STEEN IS BACK! Yeah, I’ll beat Viking, but I am not doing it for you Manny and I am sure as hell not doing it for Jake Matthews, I am doing it for me. Oh and Jake...” And then, Kevin super-kicked Jake in the face. And I laughed and I laughed and I laughed. Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy really. In Jake Matthews case, Kevin Steen’s footprint across his face would qualify as a cosmetic upgrade. The Rock and Cock Express resumed their winning ways at the expense of Hi-5, albeit in controversial fashion. Despite starting out at an enormous disadvantage as Hi-5 demonstrated their much greater wrestling knowledge and experience, so much so that Juan was reduced to begging anyone and everyone in the crowd to give him a knife for an edge against Kid Kamikaze. An obvious goof on supposed shooter EXesS who pulled a knife on IWS champion Viking during Un F’N Sanctioned 2007 and stabbed him twice in a failed effort to win the IWS title. But the RCE rallied to make a match of it. Twiggy pinned Beef Wellington with a top rope cross body block at 14:36. The controversy arises from the fact that as Twiggy hit Beef for the pin right in front of IWS referee C J Scott, at exactly that moment, behind Scott, Juan was furiously tapping to Kid Kamikaze’s STF. EXesS faced his stiffest challenge to date as the 2006 NWA Rookie of the Year, Justin White, gave EXesS everything that he could handle and then some. The crowd started out hostile to Justin chanting “Kill the Hobbit” and “Fuck Him Up EXesS”, but as the match went on the crowd warmed to the rookie, especially after Justin made a spectacular dive over the ropes and EXesS, dragging the Baby Oil Phenom off the apron with a Sunset Flip to the floor. Justin had EXesS trapped with a French Guillotine when EXesS made a desperate lunge for the ropes and IWS referee Yan was reluctantly forced to break the hold. The dejected rookie made a rookie mistake and lost concentration for a split second, just enough time for EXesS to hit a surprise roll-up and steal the win at 13:51. After the match, Justin offered his hand to EXesS. The veteran accepted the gesture of respect, but only to lure Justin into an ass-kicking. The supposed shooter grabbed a chair to finish off the rookie, but Justin was saved with a run-in by the charging Stefany Sinclair. The Association de Lutte Feminin champion has her own bone to pick with EXesS after he put her in the hospital during Violent Valentine 2007, and EXesS took off like a scalded cat, refusing to return to the ring no matter how politely Justin and Stefany invited him back in. Shane Matthews came to the ring to explain his break with his 2.0 partner Jagged and his new alliance with “Uncle Manny”, by claiming that Jagged never called while he was out with an injury, while Manny showed real concern for his “Singles Superstar”. I happen to know that Shane is delusional on this point. I accompanied Jagged myself to the hospital to visit Shane before and after his operation. Manny also visited Shane, but only because he had just been released from the same hospital after suffering a panic attack at the climax of a three day drug binge when he became convinced him that his heart was exploding. Shane tangled with Fred la Merveille in an impromptu match with Manny pulling Above Standards (Carl Choquette and Eric Lauze) from the back to be the referees. Desperate to please Manny, Above Standards made certain that Fred would not get a three count on Shane and looked the other way - actually they didn’t even bother to turn their heads and pretend not to notice - as Manny decked Fred to help give Shane Matthews the win at 9:44. Lionel Knight called me at four in the morning to tell me that Team CheckMate would not be coming to Know Your Enemies because his tag team partner had fucked up his hand beating some Quebecker’s skull in. I think Lionel was distorting history, because I understand from some fans in Ontario that a pane of glass was involved. In any case, their inability to come to Montreal left the Hardcore Ninjaz with no match... until Sexxxy Eddy, one half of the tag team champions made them a part of the tag team title match. As indicated above, the Ninjaz won this match, one that they were not even scheduled to be in. Also a surprise was the number and variety of Nintendo consoles that gave their lives on behalf of the Super Smash Brothers as Player Uno and Stupified pulled out all the stops for tag team gold. The climax of the match saw Stupefied hit the Green Phantom with a reverse Spanish Fly, followed immediately by Player Uno nailing the Green Phantom with his Frog(ger) Splash. Reacting on instinct Uno rolled out of the way just as Eddy leaped with his Peter North Porn Splash to prevent the pin, but Uno’s quick thinking caused Eddy to hit his own partner instead. The Ninjaz chose this perfect moment to ambush the Super Smash Brothers bum-rushing them from the ring. Hardcore Ninja Number One buried the Green Phantom with light tubes as the Evil Ninja swarmed up top to hit his top rope Pearl Harbour dive with a barbed-wire chair. The Green Phantom’s arm, torn asunder by the barbed wire, was gushing blood in an arterial spray as the referee counted three at 15:10 and declared the Ninjaz the victors and new IWS tag team champions. “Who knew the old man had so much blood in him?” This marks the Hardcore Ninjaz fourth title reign as a team, and Hardcore Ninja Number One’s fifth reign as tag team champion. As the paramedics worked on the Green Phantom in the dressing room, IWS ring announcer Joey Soprano announced that the IWS would be returning to the Medley on September 29th for Blood, Sweat and Beers. The main event was a crazy brawl with a wild finish. After storming through the merchandise area, Viking stunned Steen and laid him out on a table, before jumping to the top of a nearby candy and chip machine to drop a leg on Steen. The table no-sold, stunning Viking (and the crowd). Steen took advantage to lay out Viking on the table and he ensured the break by destroying Viking with a frog splash from the top of the candy machine. With Viking obliterated, Steen looked ready to win the contest against Jake Matthews and claim (or rather re-claim) the IWS title, until PCO charged in from the back and destroyed his former protege with a Peace-liner. Jake Matthews was pressuring Steen to submit to an abdominal stretch, when Viking saved Steen by clobbering Jake Matthews from behind with a chair and then pinning Matthews for the win (and to defend his title) at 16:10. The dates that Kevin Steen has confirmed with the IWS: May 26th, Scarred For Life June 16th, Body Count July 14th. Summer Slaughter August 18th, Hardcore Heat September 29th, Blood, Sweat and Beers at the Medley Plan Accordingly. The IWS presents: Scarred For Life 2007, Saturday, May 26th, 2007 at Bogey’s World Bar & Billiard, 3250 Cremazie Est (corner of Cremazie and St-Michel near the St-Michel metro), Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:00 pm, show starts at 8:00 pm, tickets are $20 for VIP, $15 for Regular. 18+, card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.syndicatewrestling.com or e-mail [email protected] . Our DVDs for each show are released through www.smartmarkvideo.com. Our most recent release is Un F’N Sanctioned 2007 featuring NWA World Heavyweight Champion Christian Cage - http://www.smartmarkvideo.com/main/index.p...6b66a85q4734bui . Our best-selling DVD from last year is Un F’N Sanctioned 2006 featuring Sabu’s last match in the indies before his re-debut on Raw (two nights later) as well as the crazy hardcore Fans Bring the Weapons match - http://www.smartmarkvideo.com/main/index.p...;ref=iwsdvd0043

Kevin Steen Returns! What do you do when you have just put on your best attended, most profitable, most critically acclaimed show ever? Well, after the hangover subsides, you get back on the horse and do it again. Of course, sometimes topping yourself is harder than at other times and after Un F’N Sanctioned 2007, I will be honest, here at the International Wrestling Syndicate we were at our wit’s end trying to figure out what to do next. Putting together a wrestling card is a bit like assembling a jigsaw puzzle, sometimes you end up with pieces that just don’t fit. You can either get a hammer and make them fit or you can shake up the pieces and start again. We were shaking up the pieces for the twentieth time when Kevin Steen walked into the IWS offices... “Hey guys, turns out that I will be in Montreal on April 28th. Can you use me?†IWS owner PCP Crazy F’N Manny looks at Kevin and with a total poker face says, “Sure Kev, I think we can squeeze you in somewhere.†Now, I know Manny. And in his eyes I could see the glint of triumph that Manny has when he has just had “a cunning plan.†(Fortunately, Manny has never watched Black Adder.) And these days, all of Manny’s cunning plans revolve around getting the IWS title off Viking. Normally, I would say that to get Viking’s belt you would have to pry it out of his Cold. Dead. Fingers. But the truth is that Viking is the IWS champion “sans ceinture†- without a belt. The IWS title gold vanished during the riot at Breakout 2006 when Viking won the title and Manny refuses to spend a thin dime on a new belt as long as Viking is champion. So Manny’s plan is for Steen to beat Viking to within an inch of his life the way that Steen did at Hardcore Heat 2006 in the Quebec Match of the Year. Then the third man in the contest gets rid of Steen and grabs the vulture pin and Voila! Manny’s pick: “Paranoid†Jake Matthews is IWS champion and Manny buys a new belt. There are only three problems with that plan: Viking who is twice as stubborn as Manny and three times as crazy, Kevin who is already reserving an extra seat on his next trip to Japan so that the IWS belt can travel there in style, and surprisingly, “Paranoid†Jake Matthews. I mean everyone knows that I think that the man is, well, SCUM! ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gpY-AkRJDc ) but even I have to grudgingly admit that the man backs down from nobody and it is just not his style to do nothing and wait for Kevin Steen to do all the work and then scoop up the vulture pin. Not to say that he won’t take his shot if it happens, but I do not expect him to stay out of the fray until his chance appears either. Know Your Enemies 2007 Card Quick and Dirty Saturday, April 28th, 2007 Montreal, Quebec, CANADA Bogey’s World, 3250 Cremazie East, (Corner of Cremazie and St-Michel, Near Metro St-Michel) IWS Title: Kevin Steen vs. "Paranoid" Jake Matthews vs. Viking IWS Tag Team Title: Super Smash Brothers (Player Uno and Stupefied) vs. Green Oil Two: Electric Boogaloo (The Green Phantom and Sexxxy Eddy) EXesS Challenge: EXesS vs. Justin White Team Checkmate (Lionel Knight and Chris Bishop) vs. the Hardcore Ninjaz Rock and Cock Express (Twiggy and Pornstar Juan) vs. Hi-5 (Kid Kamikaze and Beef Wellington) Shayne Hawke vs. Kenny the Bastard My Strong Style Typings articles with comments from various IWS wrestlers about their Know Your Enemies matches (Kevin Steen, Player Uno, Lionel Knight, Dru Onyx commentating on Justin White, Twiggy, Shayne Hawke and IWS referee Yan Venim) can be found here: http://the-w.com/thread.php/id=32578 and here: http://the-w.com/thread.php/id=32629 ******************************************************* Know Your Enemies 2007 Detailed Card The master of distortion, Shayne Hawke, after being roundly defeated by Fred la Merveille, has turned his sights to slightly less challenging game, Fred’s Flying Lizard buddy, Kenny the Bastard. Of course, to hear Shayne tell it, he has embarked on a heroic quest to slay a ferocious dragon. I wonder if I can get someone from Memphis to teach Kenny how to throw fireballs in less than two days? Shayne Hawke would look really good engulfed in flames. It would match his hair. Maudit Roux. Only slightly less prone to exaggerating their abilities than Shayne Hawke: the Rock and Cock Express, Twiggy and Pornstar Juan, or as they have taking to calling themselves of late, Juanzilla and the Twigginator... or was it Twigzilla and the Juaninator? Difference is Twiggy and Juan are endearing and Shayne Hawke is just annoying. Plus Juan and Twiggy actually pay me to make them look good on the internet, especially when they are about to face tough foes like Hi-5, Beef Wellington and Kid Kamikaze. It is easy to look at the constant carping between these so-called “Best Friends Forever†and forget that Kid Kamikaze is one of the most dangerous technical wrestlers in Canada, while Beef despite his clownish antics is surprisingly effective and successful in the ring. If Hi-5 are actually capable of working with each other rather than against each other, the Rock and Cock Express may never leave the station. The next stop on EXesS’ Challenge Tour may be his toughest. EXesS loves to beat up on rookies, but as Dru Onyx is fond of pointing out, Justin White is not just any rookie, he is the 2006 NWA Rookie of the Year and Dru’s star pupil. If EXesS starts shooting on this rookie, Justin White might just start shooting back! Two more IWS tag-teams both convinced that they deserve to be IWS champions are running right smack dab into each other at Know Your Enemies as the former champions, the Hardcore Ninjaz meet the former Number One Contenders who never did get their title shot, Team Checkmate, Lionel Knight and Chris Bishop. Going into this match these two teams have very little history with one another. But after these two seriously pissed and highly competitive teams are done with one another, I suspect that there will be history and probably drama and potentially a lot of violence. Violence is the religion at which the Green Phantom and Sexxxy Eddy worship and their religious jewelry are not blood soaked rosaries but two bloody and singed tag team title belts. The new team of Green Oil Two: Electric Boogaloo fought for their titles through a cloud of light tubes and fire and emerged victorious. But in the IWS, there is no rest for the Wicked, and so our champions will put their belts on the line against the surging team of the Super Smash Brothers, Player Uno and Stupefied who won a hellacious four team ladder match to earn their shot at the titles. Uno and Stupefied may be no match for Eddy and the Phantom when it comes to size or experience, but they are just as crazy in their own way as the champions and the 8 bit luchadores do have one ace up their sleeve: up up down down left right left right B A Start. Also at Know Your Enemies expect to see Fred la Merveille, PCO and Shane Matthews in action along with others. The IWS presents: Know Your Enemies 2007, Saturday, April 28th, 2007 at Bogey’s World Bar & Billiard, 3250 Cremazie Est (corner of Cremazie and St-Michel near the St-Michel metro), Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:00pm, show starts at 8:00pm, tickets are $20 for VIP, $15 for Regular. 18+, card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.syndicatewrestling.com or e-mail [email protected] . Our DVDs for each show are released through www.smartmarkvideo.com. Our most recent release is Un F’N Sanctioned 2007 featuring NWA World Heavyweight Champion Christian Cage - http://www.smartmarkvideo.com/main/index.p...6b66a85q4734bui . Our best-selling DVD from last year is Un F’N Sanctioned 2006 featuring Sabu’s last match in the indies before his re-debut on Raw (two nights later) as well as the crazy hardcore Fans Bring the Weapons match - http://www.smartmarkvideo.com/main/index.p...;ref=iwsdvd0043 Other IWS news Everyone at the IWS is rooting for El Generico who is off representing the IWS and Canada and Tijuana (and PWG) in the King of Europe Cup this weekend. Next week, he will be competing in wXw’s 16 Karat Gold Tournament. He is the only Canadian wrestler scheduled to compete in either tournament. We are proud fit to burst. OLE! FUCKING! OLE! Other Llakor Writings Only in Quebec would someone start a joshi promotion and name it after a 80’s sitcom featuring a cat-eating alien life-form. My two Association de Lutte Feminin reviews can be found here: ALF Force EXesSive (03/16/07) http://the-w.com/thread.php/id=32334 or here: ALF Envers et Contre Tous (04/13/07) http://the-w.com/thread.php/id=32551 And Now For Something Completely Different My new job is as the Festival Director for the Young Cuts Film Festival ( www.youngcuts.com ) We feature the best emerging film makers 25 years and under. The festival will take place in Montreal from August 16 to 19. If you know of any young film makers, point them in my direction. Thanks.

Results and Opinions for Association de Lutte Feminin Envers et Contre Tous Friday, April 13th, 2007 Centre Sportif St-Barthélemy Montreal, Quebec, CANADA As described in my first ALF report: http://the-w.com/thread.php/id=32334 ALF is a relatively new joshi promotion in Quebec, filled with women’s wrestler of all shapes and sizes from the ridiculously hot (referee Angelina Skye) to would make a better Obelisk than Gerald Depardieu (Anna Minoushka). The matches take place in a combination hall for church Bingo and gym, which makes sense since Bingo in Quebec is both a religious experience and a full contact sport. On this night attendance was down considerably from the previous show. Still respectable at 150, but I suspect that a lot of people came last month to see Stefany after EXesS rather famously put her in the hospital during our Violent Valentine 2007 show. After Stefany won the title, beating Kacey Diamond in an impromptu match, there was not really much need to come back and see the rematch. Proof that the “money is in the chase.” Speaking of money, I always pay to get into ALF. Partly out of respect, partly because then we charge them in return to get into our more expensive IWS shows, but mostly because then I can write whatever I want about ALF and feel justified in doing so. I got a lot of weird feedback from my last review of ALF ranging from demands for more fat jokes, to me pimping various Quebec hotties to a certain British clipboard wielding wrestling personality, to me being told by an ALF insider that some in the promotion were upset at the fat jokes and at me comparing the ALF video footage to the IWS video footage. The ALF video footage is really bad, but Lufisto does a really good job disguising how bad it is. I might feel guilt about some of my comments about the ALF performers, but naaah screw it, if they have an issue they can confront me personally. If Parfait Caroline has an issue with my reviews, she can come up to me and eat my notes like she did Laprade’s Almanac. Krissy and Roxie vs. Kyana Vice and Mystery Partner The Mystery Partner is a female Eugene (Eugenia?) named Charlotte Lamothe. She is a stalker fan of both Roxie and Krissy. Roxie, a cheerleader in turquoise with a really unfortunate and disastrous blonde hair cut, likes the attention. Krissy, a brunette in blkack shorts, is terrified of Charlotte. Kyana Vice is an acrobat in tight black leather pants and does a lot of totally unnecessary flipping and bouncing around. Roxie distracts Eugenia by jumping into her arms to celebrate stalking and fandom while Krissy hits Kyana Vice with a standing moonsault for the win at 6:50. Kathy vs. Nikky with Eve and Bellissima Nikky, Eve and Bellissima are a face stable demonstrated by the fact that Eve and Bellissima sit around slack-jawed while Kathy physically destroys Nikky, slapping down any attempt at a face rally. Crowd turns against Kathy pretty quickly for being a bully. Kathy puts the exclamation point to that by hitting Nikky with a Vader Bomb and while Nikky is thrashing in pain climbs to the top for a totally redundant top rope leg drop for the win at 2:25. Perfectly acceptable squash. Afterwards, Tolo, manager of les Armes de Destruction Massives, the NCW Tag Team champions comes to the ring and says that he will lead Kathy to an ALF title. ALF strangely follows an in-ring promo with a video promo designed to boost the main event, but the audio does not work and they abort it. Sweet Cherrie vs. Kalamity vs. Mary Lollypop with Paradox Curiously, it is the male manager Paradox who keeps this match together keeping Sweet Cherrie or Kalamity busy outside of the ring or consoling Mary Lollipop. Sadly, Paradox has ditched his crimson Genius get-up for a business suit and a cane. Mary Lollipop has adopted a very “sweet cherry” hair-style in honour of the match. I admire the dedication. I really liked Kalamity last month in her match against Krissy. I was less impressed this month. Mary Lollipop and Kalamity do have an interesting dynamic in the three way. While Sweet Cherrie is up, they are both so terrified of her that they team in instinctive survival, but once she is down they rush to back-stab each other with Mary Lollipop usually getting there first because she refuses to trust Kalamity. The match would be much better if Kalamity and Mary Lollipop did not hit Sweet Cherrie like they were afraid to chip a nail or something. They put the boots to Sweet Cherrie as though they were afraid of popping her bacne and getting pus all over their boots. Sweet Cherrie does have the fiery baby face charisma thing going and she can rile up the crowd, but man she is not very good on this night. She hits Kalamity and Mary Lollipop with a weak tentative dive - more of a hop really - and comes up limping afterwards. She then unveils the WORST Samoan Drop that I have ever seen. Rather than emphasizing the move by pausing when she has the wrestler on her shoulders, she starts the rotation before the other wrestler is set in the process making it impossible for him or her to rotate into a proper back bump. Poor Paradox basically gets his shoulder rammed into the gym floor. Sweet Cherrie wins with her Samoan Shoulder Separator on Mary Lollypop at 8:50. They find the audio for their video clip and play it. It is unfortunate that their only cameraman had an orgasm just as Stefany won the title and the camera went bobbling all over the place. It was an exciting moment I suppose, but it would be nice if it did not look like it had been shot by an epileptic. This is more than made up for by Kacey Diamond giving a GREAT video promo complaining about having her title stolen. I have absolutely no idea what she said but the intensity was fantastic. As far as I could tell she was channelling Faye Dunaway in Mommie Dearest and claiming that Stefany would hang her title up on a wire hanger. La Parfaite Caroline and Anna Minoushka vs. Taina and Axelle Anna Minoushka no longer looks like Caroline picked out her outfit which defeats the team dynamic that I liked where Caroline is the hottie with the fat friend that she keeps around to make her look thinner. The fact that Anna is big enough to kick the asses of virtually anyone being a sort of bonus. Anna is supposedly Russian. You know that hearty Russian peasant woman of the stereotypes? Anna looks like she ate a village of them. La Parfait Caroline starts the match by sanitizing the ropes (HA!) and giving referee Annick a cloth to clean the ropes with. Annick is wearing a referee tie. Axelle looks like Regina “the Hammer” Valentine. Her partner Taina starts the match with Anna and they do an homage to the 1-2-3 Kid vs. Yokozuna match. Taina is too fast for Anna to catch but when Taina punches Anna from behind with a flurry of blows, Anna gets this expression on her face like she is trying to figure out how come she is being bitten by a horde of mosquitos in April. This sets up the dynamic of the match. Axelle is just strong enough and old school enough to take on Anna as an almost equal. When Anna can and does catch Taina she kills her. Caroline plays vulture darting in and out and picking her spots. She suffers the most damage (or perhaps disgust) when Anna uses her as a weapon to beat on Taina with in the corner and later when Anna pulls her off the ropes and drops her on to Axelle. Coin flip whether Caroline is actually hurt by this or is just physically revolted that she has to make so much physical contact with her opponents. Taina wins the match for her team by dumping a trash can over Caroline’s head which eliminates Caroline and allows Axelle and Taina to double-team Anna for the win at 7:03. Technically nothing to write home about, saved by the dynamic of the match and the charisma of the performers. After the match, Caroline comes back into the ring with the trash can. Anna takes out the Hammer (the Hammerette?) while Caroline puts the trash can over Taina’s head and then does a running drop kick into the trash can. After she hits the trash can with another trash can and screams bloody murder. Thou shalt not dirty a germaphope! One teensy tiny complaint here. That entire angle would have been so much better if they had not used a RUBBER trash can. Very very soft core. It is like watching porn with the naughty bits pixelated over. We break for intermission and the twelve year olds rush outside for a smoke. During the break one of the IWS broom boys suggests that the reason that they used a rubber trash can was because they would have had to replace a metal one, but a rubber one would just pop back into shape. This is probably true and very sad. The timing of the intermission once again is odd. The show has six matches and they break after four, leaving two. Odd choice. Josianne the Pussycat vs. Eve with Bellissima Josianne comes to the ring with a whip. Apparently undecided whether she should be an insanely hot blonde or a crazy psychotic brunette, Josianne has decide to go with both choices, implying that she is insanely hot and crazy. This reminds me of Kyle Baker’s theory about women from Why I Hate Saturn that women can be smart, beautiful or sane, but never all three at once. She gets an “I love pussy” chant. Eve is a big girl, but not really fat, which is why it is unfortunate that she has decided to wear white plumber’s crack jeans that basically force all her cellulite into a roll under her midriff bearing shirt. And being forced to stop to adjust your jeans during the match is not a real attractive choice either. Josianne is a work in progress, but this match is MUCH better than last month’s. Bellissima is doing the slack-jawed face who can not believe that her partner is getting her ass kicked by a porn star schtick until Eve says screw this and grabs Bellissima and throws her at Josianne so that she can catch her breath, Josianne kicks Bellissima’s ass some and then finishes off Eve at 5:36. Josianne wins with her feet on the ropes, but it hardly mattered since she was lazily lying on the ropes and not actually pushing on them for any leverage. ALF title match: Champion Stefany Sinclair vs. Kacey Diamond Match is fought under UFC rules. Sort of. Three five minute rounds. The match can be won by knock-out, by submission, by doctor stoppage... or by pin-fall. Lufisto is the special referee making her first return to the ring in four months. She looks great in pigtails, a ref sports bra and black trunks. She files around the ring as ref, but she does not have to do any bumping so the jury is still out whether she will be able to wrestle, but this was a very encouraging sign. Kacey Diamond, wearing a black and white checked bikini top and blue shorts over the bottom to the bikini, is accompanied by EXesS with a stool and bucket. The stools never gets used although Beef does confiscate ExesS’ stool early on to keep him from using it as a weapon. Stefany Sinclair, wearing matching white sports bra and white boxer trunks with a black trim, is accompanied by Beef Wellington with a stool and bucket. No doubt if Beef had been in George St-Pierre’s corner, he would still be champion. Stefany is announced as “The Striker” which is odd because her chief shoot weapon is a triangle choke, so she is more of a “Strangler” than a “Striker”. ALF announcer Satine is replaced on the mike by Pat Lono. He does a great job naturally, but I am personally rooting for Satine to hit him with a chair the next time he pulls rank and takes the mike away from her. (It is not like Satine would actually hurt him. She would be too afraid of damaging the chair with Lono’s face.) As a quick editorial comment, the ALF belt looks like it was designed by a girl. I mean that as a compliment. Kacey starts out on the attack and Stefany makes a real effort to make the match look like a shoot by trying to cover up and block the punches. During the first round Stefany gets busted open, it appears the hard way and she is examined by the ring doctor during the break who allows the match to continue. The first round also establishes that there are no count outs as Kacey chucks Stefany out of the ring and Lufisto does not even bother to count. The one minute warning for the round is called at 4:20, the first round bell goes at 5:20. The second round starts at 6:45. The match is suspended at 8:55 so that the doctor can examine Stefany again and the match resumes at 9:45 with an all clear from the doctor. The one minute warning for the second round is called at 10:50 and the second round bell goes off at 11:50, so I guess that they did not stop the timer while the doctor was examining Stefany. The doctor checks Stefany again during the second round break and judges her fit to continue. The third round starts at 13:45. EXesS tries to get involved and pushes Lufisto. so she kicks his ass out of the ring. Stefany makes a fiery comeback leading to a triangle choke that Kacey breaks by tearing hair out of Stefany’s scalp in clumps. (Sadly she does not do the heelish move of pulling the hair out of her fist afterwards strand by strand.) The one minute warning for the third round is called at 16:55. Kacey goes for some sort of leg scissors move and Stefany slaps on the triangle choke in mid-swing, forcing Kacey to tap at 17:12 or I suppose ALF would say that it was at 4:17 of the third round. Good match. Probably would have been more satisfying as the match where Stefany won the belt rather than as her first defence though. After the match, Kacey snaps and attacks Beef punching him in the ass. Beef calls gimmick infringement and dumps the pail of water over Kacey’s head. She goes into full Christian tantrum mode until Lufisto thoughtfully brings her a full box of Kleenex. The weakest of the three ALF shows that I have seen so far, with many of the matches lacking the intensity necessary to make them good. Still a very watchable show saved by the strong characters and charisma of the performers, and by a good main event.

When We Were Marks An Unreasonable Accommodation There is absolutely no common sense; it is common nonsense. - Henry David Thoreau O judgment, thou art fled to brutish beasts, And men have lost their reason! - William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar In Quebec, we are in the middle of a provincial election. It is, or so the polls tell us, a three-way race. The pollsters have, in fact, thrown their hands in the air and declared that "all scenarios are possible", suggesting that the election might end up like the one in Stephen Leacock's Sunshine Sketches of a Little Town where the Independent is winning in the morning, the Liberal candidate in the afternoon and virtually all the citizens wait to vote until the evening when it becomes obvious that the Conservative must win, at which point they can go to the polls with great relief that they know what to do at last. The ruling party is Jean Charest's Liberals. They are politically federalist which is to say that they are in favour of Quebec staying within Canada. The Liberal's strength is concentrated in ridings that have a strong population of Anglophones and immigrants. In many of their ridings, the Liberal could run a dead parrot and not only would the parrot win, but his victory would be so crushing that he would probably be guaranteed a spot in the cabinet… if the Liberals return to government. The only problem for the staunch supporters of the Liberals is that their support of the Liberals is so strong that there is no political advantage in rewarding their best supporters and a great deal in slighting them. As an example, when Jean Charest floated the idea of providing some public funding for Jewish schools to put them on the same footing as French private schools, Charest retreated from the position so quickly that he left skid marks - once he realized that the position would win him no votes and might lose him many in ridings that were less ethnic. The party that Jean Charest beat to become Premier is the Parti Quebecois, a multi-headed hydra gathered together into one party by legendary Quebec separatist leader Rene Levesque. The only thing that the PQ can usually agree on is that they want to leave the country. How to do so, when to do so and what to do in the meantime are debates that consume the party like a serpent eating its own tail. The PQ has a grand tradition of knifing their leaders from virtually any direction - the back if it presents itself, but they are usually not picky as long as their leader gets well and truly wounded. The present leader, Andre Boisclair, is limping to the polls, bleeding from a thousand cuts, before the election was even called. The PQ somehow elected Boisclair despite knowing that his political judgment could be a little erratic, best demonstrated by his incomplete confession that he had been a cocaine addict while he was a PQ cabinet minister, a revelation that simply demands a full explanation so that the voters can know whether the man is to be trusted. Since being elected leader, he has stumbled from one gaffe to another, with his own party lighting the matches for his self-immolation. His most impressive blunder was participating in a New Year's comedy satire show which spoofed George W. Bush and Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper by featuring them in a lampoon of the film Brokeback Mountain. The point being that most Quebecois (and many Canadians) are uncomfortable with how friendly Harper is with Bush. At the climax of the sketch, Andre Boisclair stuck his head into the tent featuring the amorous Bush and Harper. This was a disaster on so many levels that one wonders if the satirists were making some kind of Meta point about Boisclair's lack of judgment. There is a place for the clowns to mock the King. It is downright necessary at times, but when you join the clowns you disqualify yourself from being considered fit to lead. The sketch also reminded Quebec voters that Boisclair was openly Gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but the sketch shoved that fact into the voters faces in the most tasteless way possible. And not all Quebec voters believe in the mantra "Not that there is anything wrong with that." The third party is the Action Democratique, run by a wily political opportunist named Mario Dumont. A former president of the Young Liberals, Dumont left to create his own party when he began to support separatism, but found the PQ too leftist and badly run for his tastes. Dumont is in favour of separatism as long as it is not called separatism. The word spooks investors and to the extent that Dumont has a political philosophy, above all he believes in letting businesses roost and wallow. One of Charest's "dead parrots", Pierre Arcand, a successful businessman, made the mistake of comparing Mario Dumont to France's ultra right wing Jean-Marie Le Pen. The comparison is not fair because Le Pen really believes the hateful clap-trap that he spouts. Dumont is much more of a demagogue because he is much more subtle than Le Pen. Dumont realizes that he can not win ridings with a strong ethnic vote. He can on the other hand, win votes by pandering to Quebec's nascent racism. There has always been a strong element of xenophobia to Quebec's struggle for independence. On the positive side of that struggle, you can say that Quebecois are petrified at "drowning in a sea of English" and look for ways of preserving their language and their culture. Fair enough. The ugly side of that struggle, the racism lurking just beneath the surface was best revealed when Jacques Parizeau made his famous speech after losing the 1995 Referendum, during a bitter campaign that saw PQ workers in heavily Anglophone and ethnic ridings reject any ballot that they could conceivably protest. Despite this chicanery, the No side won a slim victory. A bitter Parizeau, then Premier of Quebec, admitted defeat but blamed it on "money and ethnics" which if nothing else infuriated Chileans who up until that point were strong supporters of both separatism and the PQ. This is in sharp contrast to the gracious speech that Rene Levesque gave when he lost the referendum in 1980, in which he famously said, "If I've understood you well, you're telling me 'until next time.'" Levesque managed to make the defeat seem like a necessary first step to a greater, future victory. Andre Boisclair inadvertently raised the spectre of that racism, when he made a speech recently talking about his time in Harvard University. He remarked that a good third of his class were from the Orient. His intent was to make the argument that immigrants to Quebec are not coming to work menial jobs, that many are educated and create employment and wealth for the province. Unfortunately, he used the term: “les yeux brides” which translates to “slanted eyes” to describe his Oriental class-mates. Then he compounded his error by refusing to apologize for the blunder, offering as the weak excuse that he had been using the term for years. All of which I offer as background to the topic that helped give Mario Dumont traction in the present campaign: "Reasonable Accommodation" Reasonable Accommodation refers to the extent that businesses and government are prepared to be flexible for members of cultures and religions other than the mainstream. I suspect that Dumont raised the issue because he believed that the issue would help him win attention and votes in Quebec’s rural areas and in Quebec City, and would cost him no votes amongst ethnic voters who vote Liberal by a huge percentage and would be unlikely to consider voting ADQ in any case. Now there are times when religion clashes with the norms of society in a way that deserves special attention. One extreme example: In January, a Montreal judge threw the book at a Muslim man who stabbed his wife seven times and his fifteen month old baby twice in the stomach. The judge gave him six years citing as an aggravating factor in the sentence the fact that the man had refused to grant his wife a Sharia divorce, which effectively prevented her from visiting her family and friends in Lebanon. Under Sharia law (and under Jewish law) it is much more difficult for a woman to get a divorce than for a man. In this case, the woman appealed to her Iman to grant her a divorce under "exceptional circumstances." He refused, saying that her husband was obviously mentally ill, citing as proof the fact that he had attacked his wife and baby. A nice piece of circular reasoning that begs the question what constitutes "exceptional circumstances" for a divorce if it is not mental illness… especially when that illness places your life and that of your child at risk. (For the record, the man in this case was examined for mental illness and judged legally sane.) But the truth is that these instances are relatively rare. In most cases reasonable accommodations is about religions having different holy days. About recognizing that a certain amount of flexibility might be required for your Muslim employees fasting during Ramadan, for example. That a mosque might need more flexible parking around it on different days than a synagogue and a synagogue from a church. All of which were being handled with good humour and common sense well before Mario Dumont raised it as an issue. The next step on the farce was when the town of Herouxville jumped into the debate with both feet, enacting a ridiculous law that prohibited, amongst other things, women being stoned within the boundaries of the town. The city council of Herouxville solemnly explained that it was necessary to explain to new arrivals to Canada what the rules were. Naturally, this condescion brought forth howls of outrage. I keep waiting for one of our political comedy shows to do a bit featuring the baffled Mayor of Herouxville saying that he did not realize how many people were in favour of stoning women. And then when it seemed like reason had fled and that the debate could not possibly get any sillier... You are just waiting for the other shoe to drop, aren't you? An eleven year old Muslim girl, Asmahan Mansour, of the Nepean Selects had come to Quebec from Ontario to participate in an indoor soccer tournament. She played two games on Saturday without incident. On Sunday, she was ejected from the game for wearing a hijab, a head scarf that Muslim women wear as part of their religion. The only reassuring element in this story is that in a stirring display of good sportsmanship, her entire team and four others withdrew from the tournament in protest. Ontario actually has a rule on the books permitting the wearing of hijabs as long as they are secured properly. They added the rule because they had been approached on behalf of a young boy sensitive to the light who needed a clarification as to whether the rules permitted him to wear protective head-gear. The Ontario soccer federation approached FIFA who told them it was a matter for them to decide, but urged them to use common sense. The Ontario body decided to review their policy on all head-wear and approved a general policy that head-wear was permitted as long as it was soft and secured. (The Quebec body that covers soccer keeps mentioning that the referee in question was Muslim. Regardless of his religion, he was being silly.) In a more serious vein, Sondos Abdelatif was forced to drop out of a Quebec training program for prison guards after two weeks, when told that she would have to remove her hijab for safety reasons. Muslim groups immediately pointed out that a hijab fastened by Velcro would satisfy both safety and religious concerns, but Quebec’s Public Safety Department refuses to compromise on the issue. My immediate question was why it took officials two weeks to notice that Sondos was wearing a hijab and to ask her to remove it. The issue swings the pendulum from serious to farce. The most recent comedic moment came when a group of Muslims approached a cabane au sucre looking to have a party there. Cabanes au sucre or sugar shacks are traditional Quebec restaurants in the woods where you are served simple food and gallons and gallons of maple syrup to drown it in. The Muslims made the not surprising request for the cabane au sucre to remove pork from the menu for the day and the restaurant agreed. They also asked if it would be possible to pray for ten minutes on the empty dance floor. Again the business agreed to the request. The next day, the incident made the front page of the Journal de Montreal which thundered “Pea Soup Without Ham!” The head of the association of cabane au sucres bellowed that Quebecois had an inalienable right to pork. I am not allowed to bring a peanut butter sandwich or a shrimp salad to work in case someone on the floor might take a whiff, but Quebecois have an inalienable right to pork? Good Grief! Wrestling has a long tradition of using differences of race and politics to their own benefit, to create heroes and villains. There was a time when you could not swing a dead cat without hitting a German heel, not one of whom could speak a word of German. (The Atlantic Grand Prix's Killer Karl Krupp being a notable exception in that regard. He was still a fake German being Dutch, but at least he could speak German.) Russian heels once roamed North America. Hulk Hogan came to prominence in 1984 by defeating the Iron Sheik and keeping the WWF title in America since the Sheik had promised to take it home with him to Iran after beating Bob Backlund for the title. That was a rivalry built more on national differences than religious ones though. People hated the Iron Sheik because he was from Iran and Iran had seized the US Embassy and held its diplomats hostage. His religion was beside the point. The WWF tried to rekindle that bitterness in 1991 by taking the previously patriotic Sergeant Slaughter and making him an Iraqi sympathizer. Slaughter beat the Ultimate Warrior for the WWF Title setting up a WrestleMania 7 match against Hulk Hogan. The attempt to rekindle the magic of 1984 was such a dismal failure that the WWF was forced to move the event from the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum to the much smaller adjacent Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena. The WWF claimed then and maintains the claim to this day that the move was prompted due to security concerns after receiving a threat, rather than the poor ticket sales which would have left the Coliseum half-empty. Even when Hogan originally beat the Iron Sheik, the days of villains defined by their race, nationality or religion were numbered. Fritz Von Erich had already sired a pack of blonde, blued-eyed sons who became the most popular heroes in American Wrestling (and the most tragic.) The last great Russian wrestling villain, Nikita Koloff, turned hero in the fall of 1986, prompted by the career-ending car accident of his main rival Magmum T.A and the increasing popularity of Mikhail Gorbachev in the United States. Afterwards, wrestlers would be able to use their backgrounds for cheap heat, but they would have to act villainous to be considered villains. The best example is Bret Hart, who managed to be a villain in the United States and a hero to Canada and the rest of the world in 1997 when he begam making anti-American speeches. Lance Storm revived the idea later in 2000. In both cases, they were not being booed because they were from Canada, they were booed because they were anti-American and they used their Canadian backgrounds as a rationale for their attitudes. The closest thing that wrestling has had recently to a group who were booed strictly for where they are from are La Resistance: Sylvain Grenier, Rene Dupree and Rob Conway who debuted in the WWF in 2003. Despite the fact that Grenier is from Quebec and Dupree is from New Briunswick, La Resistance was originally introduced as being from France capitalizing on the dislike of France which led to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast. (Conway was introduced as an American who sympathized with La Resistance’s anti-American views.) Within a year though, the team was billed as being from Quebec City. The WWF tried to rekindle the Iron Sheik magic again in 2004 with the introduction of Muhammad Hassan and Shawn Daivari. The duo began with a certain ambiguous promise, explaining their animosity to Americans based on the knee-jerk reaction of Americans to Arabs following 9/11. They quickly degenerated into a cliché, grreted more by apathy than hostility and became an excuse for Hulk Hogan to make one of his sporadic nostalgiac returns to the WWF (and one of his least commercially successful.) In July 2005, after a match between Daivari and the Undertaker, Hassan prayed on the ramp as a group of masked men attacked the Undertaker. Shot on a Tuesday to air on Thursday, the episode had the misfortune to run on the same day as the terrorist bombings of London. The UPN made the request that the Hassan character no longer appear on Smackdown, effectively doing what Hulk Hogan had been unable to do and kill off the character. One would think that Quebec would be one of the last refuges for wrestling racism, one of the last bastions for wrestling villains defined by their race, their nationality or their religion. In fact, the exact opposite is the case. The province is filled with wrestlers who hail from anywhere but Quebec and the vast majority are heroes. In some cases, as much as half the roster of some Quebec promotions claim to hail from outside of Quebec. The most popular wrestler in the province, El Generico, is from Tijuana, Mexixo. Arguably the second most popular, Dan Paysan, comes from Italy. The heroic NCW champion, Bishop, is announced as being from “Vienne, Austriche.” One of Quebec’s most popular tag teams for years, the Hardcore Ninjaz, famously come from Fabertown, Japan. The Flying Hurricanes came from Tokyo, Japan and Auckland, New Zealand… and the list goes on. The fact that some of these hometowns might be spurious is less important than the the fact that the Quebec crowds play along with these claims and do not resent them. They do not automatically boo someone who claims to be a foreign immigrant. When a foreigner is a villain, like the Russian Binovich Fouranov and Anna Minoushka or the Arab Shiek Tank Ali, they have to establish their villainy by their actions and not based on their hometown. As an example, IWS wrestler, Dru Onyx, has an alter-ego, SOA aka the Spirit of Allah (or the Son of Abdullah based on his uncanny resemblace to the Butcher.) SOA has been both face and heel. On Onyx first trip to the United Kingdom, he asked the promoters who invited him over if they wanted him to come as Onyx or as SOA. “Send SOA,” they replied, “We need a 350 pound angry Black Muslim.” Both Onyx and I assumed based on that, that the promoters wanted a bad guy to terrorize the British and I wrote all of my press releases to reflect that. When Onyx landed in Britain, he was startled to learn that he was the cavalry riding to the rescue. “What could be so bad that you need a 350 pound angry Black Muslim to save you?” asked Onyx. “Irishmen. A horde of drunken Irishmen,” was the reply. One of the cultural differences I should point out here is that in Quebec you could put the words “drunken” in front of anything and they would automatically be wrestling hereoes. The fastest way to endear yourself to a Quebec wrestling crowd is to steal their beers and drink them. In total contrast to the suspicion that the rest of Quebec has for immigrants, especially Muslims, is the way that Quebec wrestling fans have embraced Quebec’s family of Arab wrestlers: the Mansours, who include the Twin Terrors, Koko and Razz, the baby of the family, the masked cruiser Sidi, and the head of the family, Professor Adib. The Mansours do not publicly discuss their religion, although the Professor somewhat sacreligiously conjures the spectre of Islam with his famous catchphrase “Bus Fi Wahed Adib Masour” whichly roughly translates as “There is Only One Adib Manour” recalling the Muslim prayer, “There is Only One God and Mohammed is His Prophet.” The Professor dresses like the Jinni from the lamp. During a time when Aladdin was being removed from store shelves in the States, the Professor was being wildly cheered in Quebec as one of its most popular heroes, even – no, especially - when he brought to the ring symbols of his culture like traditional Arabic drums. In short, in Quebec, wrestling fans, to paraphrase Martin Luther King, judge a wrestler by the content of his character and not the colour of his skin, or the nation that he hails from, or the religion that he honours. What does it say about my province, my home, when it is the wrestling fans who are the most rational and the most accepting of others?

We have better socialists, better maple syrup and much better fromage. Plus $10 Danse Contacte

You have no idea. Here's a list of the feds that I know of: 1. IWS (International Wrestling Syndicate) once per month 2. NCW (Northern Campionship Wrestling) twice per month home fed of Dan Paysan, Franky the Mobster just celebrated their 20th Anniversary 3. ALF (Association de Lutte Feminin) once per month Lufisto's Joshi Fed 4. MWF (Montreal Wrestling Federation) varies going through venue issues used to run twice a month - Fred la Merveille 5. ISW (Inter-Species Wrestling) 4-8 shows a year IWS retarded step-brother 6. Rougeau 4-6 shows a year sells tickets to businesses by linking them to personal appearances/sponsorships 7. ToW (Top of the World) Marc Blondin's fed just started first show in May 8. FLQ (Federation de Lutte de Quebec) 3 times a month the Leduc's fed 9. ICW (Inter Championship wrestling) once a week the Proulx's fed 10. WTA (No idea) Shitty Verdun church basemant fed 11. SWR (Don't Know Don't Care) Goal in life is to crack the top ten Montreal wrestling feds list. Will never do it. 12. NGE (No idea) Someone from this south shore Montreal fed is going to find this post at some point and e-mail me and ask why I put them below SWR and I will have to admit that I insulted them. And there are more within a few hours drive GEW, PWE, 2AW, TUW, NWC, JCW, WXW, XWF I'm sure that I am forgetting a few.

Christian Cage Conquers Canada IWS Delivers Show of the Year NWA World Heavyweight Champion Christian Cage came back to Canada last night and conquered the filled to capacity Medley crowd... and with the help of “Canadian Dynamite” Maxime Boyer beat the psychopathic heavyweight duo of Pierre Carl Ouellet and “Paranoid” Jake Matthews. IWS Un F'N Sanctioned 2007 Results Quick and Dirty Saturday, March 24th, 2007 Medley, Montreal, Quebec, CANADA Attendance 946 Battle of 2.0: Shane Matthews vs. Jagged Shane Matthews beat Jagged in 11:55 with a piledriver after Uncle Manny interferes. IWS Canadian Open: Champion Dan Paysan vs. Twiggy and Pornstar Juan vs. Justin White vs. Kenny the Bastard vs. Vanessa Kraven Vanessa Kraven eliminated Pornstar Juan at 10:36. Vanessa Kraven eliminated Twiggy at 11:32. Vanessa Kraven eliminated Kenny the Bastard at 13:31. Dan Paysan and Justin White combined for a double submission that forced Vanessa Kraven to tap at 15:09. Dan Paysan pinned Justin White to defend his IWS Canadian Title at 18:53. Regles de Quebec: Fred la Merveille vs Shayne Hawke with Above Standards (Carl Choquette and Eric Lauze) as Special Guest Referee and Mark le Grizzly as Special Guest Enforcer Fred la Merveille beat Shayne Hawke in 10:53 IWS Title Match: Champion Viking vs. EXesS Viking beat EXesS with la Tueur de Policiers at 18:32. Fatal Four Way Tag Team Ladder Match Player Uno gave Beef Wellington the Goomba Stomp off a fifteen foot ladder and Stupefied followed it up with a frog splash on Beef from the same ladder for the pin at 16:22. Special Attraction: NWA World Heavyweight Champion Christian Cage and "Canadian Dynamite" Maxime Boyer vs. Pierre Carl Ouellet and "Paranoid" Jake Matthews Christian Cage pinned Jake Matthews with the Unprettier after 19:55. Main Event Montreal Death Match for the IWS Tag Team Titles: Champions the Green Phantom and Sexxxy Eddy vs. the Hardcore Ninjaz The Green Phantom dove out of a pile of light tubes just as the Evil Ninja was about to hit him with the Pearl Harbour. Eddy immediately hit the Evil Ninja with a Frog Splash for the win at 15:05. **************************************** Un F’N Sanctioned 2007 Detailed Results Just on a personal note, yesterday was the worst day that I have ever spent in the International Wrestling Syndicate and the best night. IWS owner PCP Crazy F’N Manny woke me up at the crack of dawn to tell me that Necro Butcher had missed his flight. I spent the rest of the afternoon trying desperately to find a replacement. (And much thanks to those who patiently helped me look.) The day was a roller-coaster. I went from the high of Maxime Boyer telling me that Christian Cage’s plane had landed to the low of Azriel calling me to tell me that he and Rob Vega$ had been turned back at the border. Ironically, losing both Azriel and Necro Butcher cancelled each other out. EXesS has been campaigning for months backstage for a title shot, pointing out that he has never gotten a rematch after losing the title to Viking at Breakout 2006. And the two men tore... but more about that later. Un F’N Sanctioned 2007 began with the battle of 2.0. The crowd started split in their affections between Jagged and Shane Matthews. Jagged demonstrated that he is the more technically talented of the two, but Shane Matthews kept cheating to regain control of the match. The more that he cheated, the more that the crowd sided with Jagged. Shane won the match with the help of a chair brought to the ring by “Uncle Manny”, followed by a pile driver for the win at 11:55. With the fans now solidly behind Jagged and solidly against Shane Matthews, does this match spell the end of 2.0? Justin White, the 2006 NWA Rookie of the year, made his IWS debut last night. The IWS crowd came to a quick decision: they liked what they saw, but they hated his guts. Justin did make a huge rookie mistake in the IWS Canadian Open that affected the entire match. Early in the match, Kenny the Bastard hit Vanessa Kraven with his flipping power bomb and looked certain to pin her. Justin saved her. I wrote in my notes, “What kind of an idiot saves the Female Vader in an elimination match?” Turns out that Dan Paysan is to blame. The cunning Dapper Don yelled at Justin to break up the pin and the rookie forgetting that it was an elimination match dove to do just that. As Dan no doubt planned, Justin paid for his mistake. Vanessa repaid his save by chopping him to bits as the crowd chanted happily, “One More Time!” and “You Got Bitch Slapped!” With momentum behind her, Vanessa began a Kevin Nash like run, eliminating Pornstar Juan with a power bomb at 10:36, turning Twiggy’s brain to mush with multiple Skull Krushers at 11:32 and killing Kenny with a power bomb from the stage into the ring at 13:31. Justin White and Dan Paysan combined to tie up Vanessa Kraven in a double submission, Justin with an arm bar and Dan with a figure four, forcing her to tap at 15:09. The crowd immediately threw their support behind Dan Paysan urging him to “Kill the Hobbit” and when Justin White came agonizingly close to winning the match outright, the crowd mockingly chanted “Almost Frodo!” Justin White tried to win the match with a reverse wheelbarrow roll up, but to the crowd’s delight Dan reversed it into a pin ay 18:53 by holding the ropes for extra leverage. We knew going in that Shayne Hawke had recruited Above Standards (Carl Choquette and Eric Lauze) to be the Special Guest Referees. Fred surprised us by recruiting his old SLI stable mate Mark le Grizzly to be his Special Guest Enforcer. Mark read the rules for the match, “Aucun moves du top rope. Aucun marteau-pilon. (Pile Drivers) Aucun Ass Punch.” Mark and Fred went on to say that if Above Standards did not enforce these rules that they would be taken to court. Finally, they announced that since March 24th was the “Journee International du Roux” that the rules only applied to red-heads. Despite being handcuffed by these rules (except perhaps for the one about Ass Punches left over from Fred’s match against Beef Wellington at Know Your Enemies 2004) Shayne Hawke had a chance to win, but ran out of time as the first five minute period expired before Above Standards could count three. (I am not sure if Shayne knew that there was a five minute first period.) Fred in turn was able to pin Shayne hitting the 101 pedigree with about seven seconds left in the second period at 10:53 of the match. No word on whether there would have been a third period and overtime or even a shoot-out if necessary. After the match Above Standards and Shayne Hawke attacked. Kenny the Bastard ran in to help. Finding themselves outnumbered three to three, Shayne Hawke and Above Standards grabbed chairs, but before they could use them Viking’s music hit. Ditching the chairs, Hawke, Choquette and Lauze begged for mercy, to no avail. The four men celebrated together as the crowd chanted “SLI”. Only time will tell if this SLI 07 is a one time special reunion or a more permanent stable. Last year, EXesS vs. Viking was voted the Quebec feud of the year. Their rematch at Un F’N Sanctioned 2007 tore the house down. Like many of Viking’s brawls it can only look even better on DVD as the two men fought from one end of the Medley to another, climaxing in a moonsault by Viking off the Medley bar onto XS on the floor. This stunned EXesS long enough for Viking to climb to the balcony so that he could drop an elbow onto EXesS from the second floor of the Medley while the fans crowd-surfed EXesS’ limp body. Two Points. First, I do not know of any other wrestling promotion with the fans to pull off that spot successfully. It takes incredible trust and connection by Viking of the fans and by the fans of Viking to believe in each other and to pull it off successfully. Kudos to all involved. Second, balcony dives are a tradition at the Medley. The Evil Ninja did the first at Praise the Violence 2001 landing on the Green Phantom and a table. Eddy upped the stakes by leaping from the balcony with a frog splash onto Manny and a table at Born to Bleed 2001. The Arsenal upped the stakes again, giving El Generico a Death Valley Driver off the balcony through five tables at Un F’N Sanctioned 2003. The Arsenal and the Evil Ninja did the first stereo balcony dive at Un F’N Sanctioned 2005 and the Green Phantom was the largest man to dive, or rather in his case to be thrown (by PCO) from the balcony and through a table at Un F’N Sanctioned 2006. How do you top a balcony dive through five tables at the Medley? If you are Viking and you are insane, you do a balcony dive with no tables to break your fall. When Viking dragged EXesS back to the ring, EXesS avoided a pin by desperately pulling a knife on Viking and stabbing him in the forehead and on the tongue. This saved EXesS from an immediate pin, but it could not save him from the inevitable pin. Viking finished off EXesS with La Tueur des Policiers at 18:32. As Viking sang his official theme song “L’Age de la Biere” by Serge Mon’Oncle and Anonymus, the crowd chanted “Thank You Viking!” A match featuring a death defying balcony dive and a shocking incident with the so-called shooter EXesS pulling a knife. People will be speaking about this match for years. None of which would have happened if Necro Butcher had set his alarm clock properly. Wrestling is a funny business. How do you top the match of the night? You don’t, but the four teams in the ladder match did everything humanly possible to equal it. In a match where every team brought a ladder to the ring, the rules of the match required a pin fall or submission, turning the ladders from tools to weapons. Despite Lionel Knight riding a ladder on to the Super Smash Brothers, Player Uno and Stupefied rallied and used their intimate knowledge of multi-level games to gain the advantage. Uno hit Beef Wellington with the Goomba Stomp off the top of a fifteen foot ladder and Stupefied followed that up immediately with a frog splash off the same ladder on to Beef for the win at 16:22. The fans gave the match a “That Was Awesome!” chant and a “Thank You” chant. IWS Ring Announcer, Joey Soprano, was looking forward to announcing Christian Cage, but it was not to be. Legendary Quebec Wrestling Ring Announcer Marc Blondin replaced Joey Soprano giving the match an old school feel. Blondin announces the weekly French broadcasts of TNA Impact on Quebec’s RDS Sports station with his long time partner Pierre Carl Ouellet. Blondin revealed his prejudices, calling PCO his “good friend” and using PCO’s catchphrase, “Deux pieds de bras!” The crowd decidedly not in PCO’s corner responded by yelling, “Deux pieds de bras, deux pouces de penis!” PCo led a veritable army between his partner Jake Matthews, Jake’s valet Lollipop, IWS Owner PCP Crazy F’N Manny and Manny’s assistant D-Vyne. Maxime Boyer and Christian Cage came out alone to a monstrous pop. Christian Cage responded to Blondin’s bias by grabbing the mike and chastising him for forgetting to call him “The Instant Classic” After saying, “I’m glad to be back in Canada, the greatest country in the world. Montreal has the hottest women in the world. Which brings me to my next point,” pointing to Lollipop and D-Vyne, he continued, “Are these ugly skanks from Nova Scotia? After we finish beating your asses, me and the Canadian Dynamite are going to hit one of the famous Montreal Strip clubs, because that’s...” and the crowd finished for him, “How I Roll!” As it turned out, there were a few people from Nova Scotia in the audience including one very attractive woman who complained to me about the skank comment. Turned out that her oldest sister had gone to school with my youngest sister. The world is a small place. To thunderous heat, we were given a very old school southern tag match. PCO and Matthews physically dominated both men. Boyer used speed and skill to even the odds. Christian used his brain and a variety of short-cuts. The climax of the match saw PCO stunning Christian and placing him on the table before going up top to do the old Quebecker cannon-ball with Jake Matthews help. Maxime Boyer saved the NWA World Heavyweight Champion from being splintered, dragging him from the table just before PCO hit it. With PCO hors-de-combat, Christian finished off Jake Matthews with the Unprettier for the win at 19:55. After the match, Christian told Marc Blondin, “That rental tuxedo is pretty brutal by the way. Thank you for the amazing reception, for treating me like the hometown boy. Montreal has the best wrestling fans in the world and some of the biggest up and coming stars in the world!” By tradition, Un F’N Sanctioned shows always end with a Death Match and this year was no different as the Green Phantom and his new reluctant partner, Sexxxy Eddy, defended the Green Phantom’s tag team titles against the Hardcore Ninjaz. Befitting their name, the Ninjaz ambushed the Phantom and Eddy during their music to gain an early advantage, and it was the Ninjaz who raised the stakes first by covering the ring in thumb-tacks. The Green Phantom increased the escalation by trying to set a chair on fire. The Ninjaz retaliated by putting the Green Phantom through a light tube bed on the Medley stage, leading to a competition to set on fire a collapsed table in the middle of the ring. The Phantom covered the table in lighter fluid. The Ninjaz covered the table (and Eddy) with more lighter fluid, but before they could set the table (and Eddy) on fire, the Green Phantom saved his partner, set the table on fire and then gave Hardcore Ninja Number One a Phantom Menace into the fire. The Green Phantom followed by crunching the Evil Ninja through the charred table set up in the corner, but the resilient Evil Ninja recovered to lay out the Green Phantom and cover him in light tubes including a giant Ninja Star, before going up top for his chair assisted Pearl Harbor dive. The Green Phantom rolled out of the way of the light tube massacre just in time and as the Evil Ninja writhed in pain, Sexxxy Eddy hit him with his “Peter North” splash from the top to earn his share of the IWS Tag Team Titles at 15:05. This brought to an end the most successful IWS show ever. We had the biggest paid crowd that we have ever had, and in my opinion the hottest crowd that we have ever had. Matt Fortune of Fortune Video Editing informs me that he already has the first three matches edited and hopes to have the DVD ready for Friday. It should be available on Smart Mark Video by the following week and we will have it available for sale at our next show Know Your Enemies 2007. Fans who were at Un F’N Sanctioned 2007. Hold on to your ticket stubs. We will be doing a promotion involving the ticket stubs for Know Your Enemies 2007. More details to come. The IWS presents: Know Your Enemies 2007, Saturday, April 28th, 2007 at Bogey’s World Bar & Billiard, 3250 Cremazie Est (corner of Cremazie and St-Michel near the St-Michel metro), Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:00pm, show starts at 8:00pm, tickets are $20 for VIP, $15 for Regular. 18+, card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.syndicatewrestling.com or e-mail [email protected] . Our DVDs for each show are released through www.smartmarkvideo.com . Our most recent release is Violent Valentine 2007 http://www.smartmarkvideo.com/cgi-bin/stor...at=&catstr= . Our best-selling DVD from last year is Un F’N Sanctioned 2006 featuring Sabu’s last match in the indies before his re-debut on Raw (two nights later) as well as the crazy hardcore Fans Bring the Weapons match http://www.smartmarkvideo.com/cgi-bin/stor...str=HOME:iwsdvd .

Countdown to Christian Cage Continues It is under twenty-four hours before Christian Cage’s plane is scheduled to land at Pierre Eliot Trudeau Airport or as the locals still call it Dorval. I have been doing publicity for the International Wrestling Syndicate for just over four years and I do not remember any show that has generated this much excitement from the fans. My phone has been ringing off the hook with fans looking for tickets. I have received e-mails from fans from three different continents and six different countries telling me that they were coming. And the fans that can not make it are so excited by the future DVD release of Un F’N Sanctioned 2007 that one contacted by AIM to ask me if the DVD is out yet. (I think he was joking.) With Un F’N Sanctioned 2007 so close, I thought I would give a detailed breakdown for each match. Un F'n Sanctioned 2007 Card: Saturday, March 24th, 2007 Medley, 1170 St-Denis (corner Rene Levesque) Metro Berri-UQAM Montreal, Quebec, CANADA Battle of 2.0: Jagged vs. Shane Matthews Regles de Quebec: Fred la Merveille vs. Shayne Hawke Special Outside Referee for the Match: Above Standards (Carl Choquette and Eric Lauze) EXesS Open Challenge: EXesS vs. Azriel Four Way Ladder Match: Hi-5 (Beef Wellington and Kid Kamikaze) vs. Team Checkmate (Lionel Knight and Chris Bishop) vs. Up In Smoke (Cheech and Cloudy) vs. Super Smash Brothers (Player Uno and Stupefied) Canadian Open: IWS Canadian Champion Dan Paysan vs. Justin White vs. Kenny the Bastard vs. Rob Vega$ vs. Pornstar Juan and Twiggy vs. Vanessa Kraven IWS Tag Team Title Match: Challengers The Hardcore Ninjaz vs. Champions The Green Phantom and Sexxxy Eddy IWS Title Match: Challenger Necro Butcher vs. Champion Viking Special Attraction: NWA World Heavyweight Champion Christian Cage and “Canadian Dynamite” Maxime Boyer vs. Pierre Carl Ouellet and “Paranoid” Jake Matthews ********************************************************* Dan Paysan will defend his IWS Canadian Title in a Canadian Open. The match will start with two wrestlers. A new competitor will join the match every minute until every wrestler has joined the match. The winner will be the last wrestler left after all wrestlers are eliminated. The Rob Vega$ Scouting Report I called Rob Vega$ to get some information to pass on to the IWS fans about this JAPW and AWA veteran. He turned the tables on me a little looking for information about his opponents in the match. Here is what I told him: Dan Paysan: He used to be known as the most talented wrestler in Quebec without a belt. He now has belts in three different promotions. Master of the Gimmick Match, Dan specializes in matches where he has to beat multiple opponents. Quebec’s most talented high-flyer, Dan has a strong technical background as well. (For those who remember me saying that Dan had FOUR belts, he just recently lost his NCW Inter-Cities belt to Samson in a thirty minute Iron Man Match three falls to two. Not without some controversy. I had the match scored four falls to three in Dan’s favour since Samson hit the referee with a chair halfway through the match which NCW somehow did not call a DQ and the match ended with Samson in the Sharpshooter yelling that he quit and tapping and NCW mysteriously did not count that as a fall either.) Pornstar Juan and Twiggy: The IWS’ beloved underdogs, Juan and Twiggy frequently fight as a team and enter as a unit even for singles matches. They have combined for surprising upsets in the past. Kenny the Bastard: A former IWS Canadian champion, Kenny is virtually indestructible. A masked wrestler, Kenny is strange and unpredictable and practices a weird form of martial arts based on his life-long study of the fighting habits of Komodo Dragons and other lizards. Either that or he is a lizard. Only his vet knows for sure. Justin White: A graduate of Dru Onyx’ Torture Chamber, Justin White was the 2006 NWA Rookie of the Year. Just did well in a technical match with Kid Kamikaze, the IWS’ technical wizard. Probably will fight a more ground based style than the high flyers like Dan and Kenny. Vanessa Kraven: At six foot two inches and close to two hundred athletic pounds, she is one of the most intimidating physical presences in Quebec wrestling. Male wrestlers who underestimate her because “she is just a girl” have a tendency to pay the price as Franky the Mobster can attest. She wrestles a very traditional big man style. An elimination match is a big advantage for Vanessa Kraven because she is so hard to pin. On the other hand, she could find herself outnumbered as the other wrestlers team together to eliminate the biggest threat. She is still my pick to win the match. Rob Vega$: Dial Tone. After I gave him that scouting report, the asshole hung up on me. The Battle of 2.0 may be the match that people are simultaneously looking forward to and dreading. On one hand, Jagged and Shane Matthews know each other intimately after years of tagging with one another and emotions in both men are running high. On the other hand, no one wants to see this tag team break up, even the two men in this match. On the gripping hand, this match might be necessary for the two men to be able to continue tagging together. Shane Matthews is just coming back from six months of injury time. He is the stronger and more charismatic of the two. Jagged has been forced to wrestle as a singles wrestler during Shane’s injury and had some success. He has always been the technical workhorse of the time. Give the edge to Jagged in this contest. The “Regles du Quebec” match is a specialty of Fred la Merveille, but he has never actually won one. Shayne Hawke is younger and has numbers on his side with Above Standards (Carl Choquette and Eric Lauze) acting as the outside referees. Of course, Above Standards are so incompetent that their presence might actually help Fred. I am picking Fred to win this, because Shayne Hawke is an annoying pest, plus I refuse to pick a “maudit roux” to win. EXesS and Azriel had a great match in JAPW, back in 2005 that had JAPW fans raving online. Normally, I would say that EXesS ought to have a home town advantage, but the Quebec fans are seriously upset at EXesS for his vicious attack on Stefany at Violent Valentine 2007. Azriel won in 2005 in his home town and fans here are hoping that Azriel can do it again, teaching EXesS a lesson in the process. But Azriel may be surprised at the changes in EXesS since their last encounter. The “Baby Oil Phenom” is still a dangerous submission specialist, but he has added a deep and violent vicious streak to his arsenal. My heart is rooting for Azriel, my head says that EXesS will take it. The four way ladder tag may be the most competitive match at the show. Hi-5 (Beef Wellington and Kid Kamikaze) are former IWS champions and won that belt in a (barbed wire) ladder match, but their recent reunion is as the result of Beef Wellington’s delusion that he is Kid Kamikaze’s “Best Friend Forever”. The talent and the experience are there, the unity is not. The Super Smash Brothers (Player Uno and Stupefied) are certainly more united. Uno is a former IWS Canadian champion, Stupefied is the 2006 IWS Rookie of the Year, but the two men are relatively new to tag teams and to teaming with one another. So talent and unity, but little experience. Up In Smoke (Cheech and Cloudy) combine all three elements, but the final team Team Checkmate (Lionel Knight and Christopher Bishop) also combine those three elements and a new factor to the equation. Well, factors. First Christopher Bishop is insane, in a good way, his suicidal heroics are exactly what is required in a ladder match, but most importantly Lionel Knight is the angriest man that I now and he has not gotten any calmer since Kid Kamikaze publicly insulted him on Bloodstream. Giving a man that angry a weapon in the form of ladder is a recipe for victory for Team Checkmate. The Hardcore Ninjaz are the most successful tag team in IWS history. They have won the belts three times as a team with Hardcore Ninja Number One having won it a fourth time with Heavy Maxx Fury. For comparison, no other team has ever won the titles more than once. In addition, the Ninjaz have never been pinned for their titles. They lost to Iceberg and FOD in a Flaming Tables match, they lost to Hi-5 in a barbed wire ladder match, and they lost to Mean and Green (Dru Onyx and the Green Phantom) in a Christmas Tree Death Match when Dru Onyx pinned Beef Wellington. But Dru Onyx is injured and the Green Phantom forced to take a new partner with Sexxxy Eddy, a partner that he despises so much that he pile drove Eddy through a table during the live contract signing for the Medley match. That said, the Green Phantom has never been pinned at the Medley and as he demonstrated with Eddy, the IWS Hardcore Hero is prepared to do whatever he needs to do to keep his tag team belts. So, I have to pick... oh who am I kidding? I am a great big Ninja mark. The Hardcore Ninjaz are getting their belts back. IWS champion Viking has fought the Necro Butcher before in last year’s Ontario Tournament of Death and lost in a match that most fans called the match of the night. (Necro Butcher ended up losing in the finals to Lufisto, but not before breaking Lufisto’s hand by hitting it repeatedly with his skull.) While he has never fought in the IWS before, Necro Butcher has a history with the Green Phantom whose nose and orbital socket that he broke in a match during CZW’s Tournament of Death. The one guarantee for this match: it will be violent. Viking has the home town advantage and the champion’s advantage. At the Medley, in front of a thousand plus screaming fans, that home town advantage. Necro has the edge in experience and sadism. He also has the backing of IWS owner PCP Crazy F’N Manny, who is so desperate to get the IWS title off Viking that he is prepared to offer Necro Butcher an open contract to come to the IWS for as long as he can win title matches. As Necro Butcher might say: Choose Necro for the IWS Title or CHOOSE DEATH! Fortunately for Viking, Manny will be so busy with NWA World Heavyweight Champion Christian Cage that he will have no time to get involved in the IWS Title Match. (Cue Llakor furiously pounding on wood.) When Manny approached Christian to come to Montreal, his plan was to leech off the glamour of the returning hero and to use him to teach Maxime Boyer and Viking a lesson. Unfortunately for Manny, the NWA World Heavyweight Champion is a little like the proverbial eight hundred pound Gorilla: he does whatever he wants. And what Christian Cage wants is to tag with the best young technician that this country has seen since the glory days of the Hart Family. Manny is throwing against them two of the most dangerous heavyweight psychopaths to team together since the bloody swath that the Garvins’ cut through this Province’s psyche: Pierre-Carl Ouellet and the shovel-waving maniac “Paranoid” Jake Matthews. I have no idea what is going to happen in this match. and I can not wait to find out! IWS Bloodstream can be found here: http://syndicatewrestling.com/media.html A fan-cam of the IWS Press Conference at Brutopia including the contract signing for the IWS Tag Team Titles can be found here: My most recent When We Were Marks column is called “An Unreasonable Accommodation”. It focuses on the current Quebec provincial election which has been consumed in a rather racist debate about how immigrants adjust to society in Quebec and how all of that relates to wrestling. It can be found here: http://the-w.com/thread.php/id=32356 The IWS proudly presents: Un F’N Sanctioned 2007, Saturday, March 24th, 2007, at the beautiful downtown Medley, 1170 St-Denis, near the Berri-UQAM Metro. Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:30 PM, show starts at 9 PM. VIP tickets are $30, Regular tickets are $25. VIP ticket holders admitted first. VIP tickets are almost sold out so order them today. No reserved seating. Tickets can be purchased online at http://www.ticketpro.ca or in person at the Medley box office. 18+. Card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.syndicatewrestling.com or e-mail [email protected] . Our DVDs for each show are released through www.smartmarkvideo.com . Our most recent release is Violent Valentine 2007 http://www.smartmarkvideo.com/cgi-bin/stor...at=&catstr= . Our best-selling DVD from last year is Un F’N Sanctioned 2006 featuring Sabu’s last match in the indies before his re-debut on Raw (two nights later) as well as the crazy hardcore Fans Bring the Weapons match http://www.smartmarkvideo.com/cgi-bin/stor...str=HOME:iwsdvd .

Actually, a lot of those guys like the Mansours don't even wrestle for us. Quebec has SO many feds, it is scary. Tomorrow is our big show of the year, we're bringing Christian Cage to town and there are still two other promotions running shows against us that I know of. (And a couple of others within about an hour's drive.)

Results and Opinions for Association de Lutte Feminin Force Exessive Friday, March 16th, 2007 Centre Sportif St-Barthélemy Montreal, Quebec, CANADA ALF is a relatively new Women's promotion in Montreal started by Kim Leduc and Lufisto. Kim is Paul Leduc's daughter, Carl XL's sister. The fed runs once a month in the "Theatre Extreme" where the FLQ normally runs, meaning that the FLQ runs three out of four weeks now rather than once a week. It has been a huge success, not just outdrawing the FLQ, but at this point outdrawing every other promotion in Quebec other than the IWS. Theatre Extreme is on the second floor of a Church Hall. It's a weird space half gym and half hall. The floors are hardwood parquet like for a gym. There are four huge pillars holding up the ceiling spaced in a large square. On each side wall there are five thin arched windows of various heights each with stained glass. As you enter the hall, there is a kitchen/snack bar to your left. The ring is set up two thirds of the way into the room, with tall curtains blocking off the back of the hall to act as an entrance and dressing room. The ring itself is 16 feet by 16 feet. In NCW, I find that size too small, it always seems as though a wrestler can grab the ropes from almost anywhere in the ring or make the tag from anywhere, but it works for women's wrestling quite well. In fact, the smallness of the ring tends to make the women look bigger which is a plus. I would probably object to the size if I ever went to see an FLQ show, but I fundamentally refuse to go see a wrestling promotion that deliberately uses the same initials as the 1970's separatist terrorist group who kidnapped British diplomat James Cross and who kidnapped and murdered Quebec Minister of Labour Pierre LaPorte. A series of tables surrounds the ring creating the same effect as ring barriers but also allowing ringside fans to pound their approval on the tables. This was the second ALF show that I saw. The first one was interesting, but was really saved by the two last matches which were very good. I was surprised by the attendance at that show which was quite respectable at about 150, but the attendance for this show was phenomenal. I pegged it around 250 and the audience was hot all night. They ran out of chairs, so about twenty people were standing. Any time that you run out of chairs at a show, you are doing a good job. ALF is the result of a real upswell in the number of well trained women wrestlers in Quebec, following in the footsteps of Lufisto, although as Pat LaPrade pointed out in his Quebec Wrestling Almanac, there is a real tradition of joshis in Quebec beginning with Vivian Vachon and later, her niece Luna. In the 1970's, Vivian was the AWA Woman's champion and described as the best woman's wrestler in the world. She retired in 1978 to have a daughter and died tragically in 1991 in a car crash along with her daughter. She was just 40. ALF claims to be the first joshi promotion in Canada, but I think that the BC promotion "SuperGirls" beat them to it. ALF runs much more regularly than SuperGirls ever did though and uses an impressive amount of local talent, by which I mean virtually all are local talent. One of the odd booking trends of ALF is that the skinnier and prettier you are, the more likely you are to be a heel. One of the nice things about ALF is that women of all sizes and shapes are included in the fed. This is not a promotion where every wrestler is in Brianna Banks memorable phrase "sticks with tits". That is a good thing. The fact is is that if you do any kind of work-out at all you are probably going to end up with larger thighs than most women. To me (and Robert Crumb), muscular legs are a turn-on. As an example, Vanessa Kraven (sadly not wrestling tonight) is an incredibly beautiful, athletic woman who does not fit the stick thin Hollywood model of beauty. On the other hand, Vanessa also scares the shit out of me, because she can crush my spine with either hand. She is AmbicrippleLlakorous. On the Gripping hand, some of the women in ALF are just plain fat. Most are comfortable with that and are faces as a result. The variety is refreshing if the only women's wrestling that you are regularly exposed to is the WWE's version: models cat-fighting in Victoria's Secret outfits. Not that there is anything wrong with that... for one match, but you could hardly build an entire promotion an that one match. There are two refs: Annick and Angelina Skye. Befitting her porn-star name, Angelina is incredibly hot in a shy dirty blonde wearing glasses way, wearing her ref shirt tied up to expose her midriff. Le Naughty School Girl MaryLollipop (with Paradox) vs. Kelly Hart MaryLollipop is a blonde dressed in a Catholic School Girl uniform. Her male manager, Paradox, is dressed like a crimson clad Genius. Sexxy Eddy is introduced as guest referee to a massive pop, which only grows as he rips his pants off to reveal referee shorts. He gets "Eddy Rocks!" and "Show Your Cock" chants. Did I mention this is an all-ages show? Eddy searches both girls and makes a crack about MaryLollipop's hair which I can't understand at all because the sound system is crap. Eddy has a rivalry with Paradox and a pre-existing relationship with MaryLollipop which is based around the idea that she keeps offering him sex to distract him and never follows through on it, but he keeps falling for it because she is ridiculously hot and dressed like a slut and because Eddy is well Eddy. He does usually say something when she comes on to him though about how he can't believe that he is falling for her tricks again, but then does it anyway. The match is built around MaryLollipop distracting Eddy so that Paradox can come into the ring, attack Kelly Hart and then sneak out again. This includes a variant of the Samoa Drop that Kelly Hart has no business kicking out of. Kelly Hart also has really weak kicks, a problem given that her offense seems to be built around them. At the climax of the match. Paradox tries to sneak some luggage into the ring. Eddy catches him, decks him and then gets distracted with the contents of the luggage. I thought at first it was Eddy's luggage, but given how distracted Eddy got, I am assuming that it was one of the women's and that he was going through her lingerie. While Eddy is busy with that, Kelly Hart is placed up on the top rope, but she catches first MaryLollipop and then Paradox charging in. She then gives the two heels a double DDT from the top and covers MaryLollipop for the win at 6:30. In Ring promo by ALF champion Kacey Diamond and EXesS Kacey Diamond is an arrogant champion who can't understand why she isn't loved by the fans. EXesS just had a match at IWS against ALF's Number One Contender, Stefany, where he beat the shit out of her and sent her to the hospital. This makes EXesS the most hated man in Quebec. Like most of the crowd, I am here to see the fall-out of that match since EXesS and Kacey Diamond are scheduled to face Stefany and Beef Wellington in the main event. They play clips from that match, which points out two things. First the IWS video quality is much better than ALFs. At least our footage looks better projected on their crappy projector on the unwashed tobacco stained wall than their footage does. Either that or the ALF video people are really in love with filters that corrupt the images. Probably a little of both. It is a bit of a shock to hear me screaming "Stop This Match! Stop This Match!" on commentary. My voice also seems to come out clearer on their crappy sound system than the ALF wrestlers do. Once again, the IWS conspires to make other feds look bad. I have to admit I marked out a little... OK a lot... to hear my voice being played for 250 people to build the main event. The next step up of hatred for the fans is revealed when they switch from chanting "Kacey Sucks!" to chanting "Kacey Swallows!" Did I mention that this was an all ages show? Kathy with Stephanie Rizutto vs. Eve and Bellissima Eve is a big girl and comfortable being big. She taunts Kathy with her enormous ass. The bell rings and there is some heel stalling which leads to the bell being re-rung at 39 seconds in. A failed top rope cannon ball by Eve gets a Holy Shit chant which is the crowd's enthusiasm getting the better of them. Match ends with Kathy doing a top rope swing move for the pin at 4:30 (including the stall time). Kalamity vs. Krissy This is a match presented by GEW (Granby Entertainment Wrestling) and they do a great job representing their fed. This is easily the match of the night. Kalamity is a Wild Thing, Krissy is a Diva. Kalamity has the nicest, most vicious forearms this side of Kevin Steen. Krissy punches like a girl. Krissy does make up for that by doing a lot of sweet high risk acrobatics like a well executed 'rana which she follows up with an amazing standing moonsault. Kalamity uses more traditonal old school moves like lariats and power-bombs, but she hits them like she means it. The crowd gives the match a well deserved "This Is Awesome" chant. Krissy ends the match with a DDT hit with an impact for the pin at 5:46. Best five minute match that I have seen in a while. They get a "Please Come Back" chant which the organizers acknowledge by announcing after the intermission that they are coming back to the April show. 21st Century Fox and She Nay Nay with Bruni Johnson vs. Sweet Cherrie and Portia Perez Sweet Cherrie has close to the same reputation within Quebec that Lufisto has outside of it. Last show she did a chain match against her fat brother which I objected to because they used chairs and a table. If you need a table to hurt your opponent when you have a freaking chain tied to your wrist you are seriously suffering from a lack of imagination. Portia Perez is one of the exceptions on the weird ALF rule of thumb that skinny and pretty equals heel. Although both Portia and Sweet Cherrie are wide bodies compared to their opponents, two stunningly good looking skinny black women from Ontario. They have a black male manager who insults the crowd and I have no idea what he said, but it pisses everyone off. The Black Beauties could probably do an interesting story line based around the movie DreamGirls if they could find somebody to play the Jennifer Hudson part. The match is totally by the numbers southern tag with Portia Perez playing Ricky Morton. It is formula, but very smart formula. First of all, they build off the heat generated by the previous match while doing a tenth of what the GEW women had to do to create that heat. And the crowd allows itself to be totally manipulated. If you can drive the crowd crazy while doing very little, you should do that. So it is formula, but very competent. Sweet Cherrie gets the pin on She Nay Nay at 7:52. At this point, I was totally confused why they did not call for the intermission. It would have been a perfect place to call a break. The show was announced as having seven matches, so it would make sense to break after four especially since you did five segments with the Kacey Diamond and EXesS in-ring promo. Not to mention that it makes sense to go to the break on the high of the face, Sweet Cherrie, winning. Usually at IWS shows, we do not have intermissions although sometimes they are forced on us to help the bar sell beer, or for other technical reasons. Everyone else in Quebec seems to have intermissions though. If you were going to have an intermission this was the logical place to have it. La Parfaite Caroline vs. Taina La Parfaite Caroline is a germaphobe. At the last show, Taina dumped a trash can over her head. Caroline gives a video promo in the toilet where she implies that she is going to flush Taina's career down the drain. Taina gives a video promo where she invites Caroline to bring the jumbo size of her favourite hand sanitizer brand. After two video promos, Caroline follows that up with a bizarre in and out of ring promo in which she accuses the audience of having fantasies of sleeping with her. GUILTY! She ends up at the back table where I am sitting with Pat LaPrade. She accuses LaPrade of wanting to sleep with her, which totally confuses poor Pat. She is waving around the copy of the Quebec Wrestling Almanac that she bought from Pat earlier in the night and she says she would rather eat the Almanac than sleep with Pat, which she punctuates by ripping out a couple of pages, chewing them and then spitting them out at him. Caroline is wearing a purple sports bra under a black mesh top and looks ridiculously hot in a "I hate her so much that I want to sleep with her" way. Pat promptly takes the torn Almanac that Caroline leaves behind, slaps a "Dechirer par Caroline" sign on it and sells it for $5. I tell him that he should have charged more for the torn Almanac (the regular price is $7.) Pat points out to me that he was selling a copy that he already been paid for once. After that build up, the match is a complete disappointment. You figure that Caroline would want serious payback on Taina for dumping trash on her head, but they are wrestling so loose that they might as well be hitting each other with pillows. And after making comments about hand sanitizers, you figure that Taina would pull out something disgusting to hit Caroline with, but nothing. A complete let down. Anna Minoushka, who looks like she got the make over that fat girls get when a super hot girl adopts her as a project because keeping her around makes the hottie look thinner, interferes in the match to give Caroline the win at 7:07. Caroline crows that she had the perfect plan and it appears that she now has a stable led by her with Anna and manager Rachelle. NOW, they do an intermission. Hall empties in about thirty seconds as everyone rushes outside to have a smoke. One of the Black Beauties from Ontario comes over to the merchandise booth to talk to Pat and to try and sell some photos. It turns out that she was originally from Montreal and she recently moved back. Up close, she is shorter than I thought, but much better looking. (And I thought she was ridiculously hot from a distance.) At this point, I pulled a total BrewGuy. Allow me to explain. Darryl Brewer is a friend of mine from Toronto, who will probably read this in about six months and mark out that I dropped his name. Darryl is built like a Grizzly, so fortunately he lives in another city and I can out-run him. Hell! I can out-walk him! One of Darryl's more endearing traits is that in the presence of a beautiful black woman he freezes. He is barely capable of coherent speech. She doesn't even have to make eye contact. If she is within a fifty foot radius of Darryl, he becomes a puddle. So, this incredibly beautiful black woman is within two feet of me and my brain turns to mush. It took LaPrade to tell her that I worked for the IWS. I didn't even take advantage of the fact that any time that you meet a woman iN Quebec, there is a built in excuse to kiss to kiss her on both cheeks. ... I just realized that I was wearing an Oshawa Generals sweatshirt last night. (Pat LaPrade popped like a freak when he saw it. Started naming off players. I was all "Top of the Clean Pile, Dude.") Point is, it was given to me by one Darryl Brewer. Fucking thing must be contaminated. Josianne the Pussycat vs. Axelle Josianne shot to notoriety in Quebec because of her gig with the Woman's wrestling fed that Carmen Elektra was involved in as Commissioner: Naked Woman's Wrestling League. How someone who is gorgeous and who is willing to wrestle naked could ever be a heel in Quebec is beyond me, but Josianne manages. The quality of the match can be judged by my notes: Josianne wins at 6:34. Kacey Diamond and EXesS vs. Stefany and Beef Wellington Stefany is announced as Stefany Sinclair which confuses me because normally adding to your name is a sign that you are turning heel. The match is an odd juxtaposition to the shoot match that Stefany did with EXesS. Since Beef Wellington is involved there are a lot of comedy bits involving Beef and Kacey Diamond. At the last show, Beef gave a hilarious promo in French (not Beef's strong suit) where he kissed Kacey Diamond and complained that her breath smelled of fish. When she objected to that, he swiped a line from Ready to Rumble and informed her that the diamond was the universal symbol for "plotte" (Quebec slang for pussy, hence Julie Doucet's comic Dirty Plotte.) Beef builds on the promo by offering Julie a Tic-Tac. This sets up the relationship with Beef and Kacey Diamond where he flirts with her and she kicks him in the balls (or thigh or ankle). When she tries to suplex Beef, he blocks her attempts repeatedly and then feeds her hands into his pants. Later, when Beef attempts to suplex her in turn, she blocks him so he settles for dry-humping her. Language becomes a pivotal issue with the match as the French referee Annick and Beef begin an adversarial relationship putting a new spin on the southern tag formula. Beef keeps complaining about EXesS and Kacey Diamond's double teams and the referee no-sells the complaints because he can't speak French (or at least that is what Beef claims.) Adds new spice to the moment where Beef finally makes a tag and the referee disallows it because she didn't see it. The southern tag formula woks a marvel and Beef's twist to it makes it fresh. The match is fought a lot looser than the match that Stefany and EXesS did in the IWS. Stefany does pull out a great variation on her triangle choke when EXesS is spinning her around for a twirl-a-whirl slam or something and she clamps on the triangle choke in mid-spin to a huge pop. Stefany finally gets the hot tag to Beef. He cleans house and eventually Stefany gets EXesS in place for the Ass Punch. The E. Coli finishes things off at 15:31. After the match, Kacey Diamond beats Stefany down and then offers Stefany one last chance at the ALF title. Kacey Diamond vs. Stefany Kacey tries to get the vulture pin and take advantage of the beating that Stefany took. With Beef Wellington cheering her on from ringside (and keeping EXesS away) Stefany shows fighting spirit and eventually clamps on the triangle choke for the submission win at 2:25. Odd way to end the show. I would have thought that they would do a blow-off gimmick match to main-event the April show. Still, a very successful show in front of a big, hot crowd featuring a roster of almost 100% home-grown talent.

Strong Style Typings: Un F'N Sanctioned The Green Phantom Does Not Play Well With Others Last night, the International Wrestling Syndicate held a press conference at Brutopia to help promote what many wrestling fans are already calling the Canadian show of the year: Un F'N Sanctioned 2007, scheduled for March 24th, 2007, at the downtown Montreal Medley. During the press conference, a contract was signed for the Tag Team Title Match between the challengers, the Hardcore Ninjaz, and the champion, the Green Phantom, plus his new, reluctant tag team partner, Sexxxy Eddy. The Phantom's original partner, Dru Onyx is injured and was forced to relinquish his share of the tag team title. IWS Owner, PCP Crazy F'N Manny, appointed Eddy to be the Phantom's partner at the Medley. Eddy confirmed at the press conference that he will be shooting an adult feature film to be called "The World's Luckiest Wrestler" on March 21st, 22nd and 23rd, during which he will have sex with 101 wrestling valets from around the world. When asked how he plans on walking on the 24th, let alone wrestling, Eddy, to the cheers of the female fans at Brutopia, said that the Triple X "Sex XXXpress" was like the little engine that could and that with the support of his fans anything was possible. The Hardcore Ninjaz pointed out at the press conference that they have held the IWS tag team titles on three seperate occasions (an IWS record) and have never been pinned when they lost their titles, losing the belts once in a Flaming Tables Match (to Iceberg and FOD); once in a Barbed Wire Ladder Match (to Hi-5, Beef Wellington and Kid Kamikaze); and most recently during Season's Beatings 2006 in the IWS' traditional Christmas Tree Death Match when Dru Onyx pinned Beef Wellington of Hi-5 to win the titles, while the Hardcore Ninjaz were beating off the flames after being put through a Flaming Table by the Green Phantom. During the press conference, the Hardcore Ninjaz also said through their translator that while Sexxxy Eddy has been IWS champion a record four times, he has never been able to win the IWS tag team titles despite many attempts, and that he has lost every match where he has faced the Hardcore Ninjaz as a team. The Green Phantom started out angry during the press conference, and became increasingly belligerent as it progressed. He declared that he had won the title by himself (conveniently rewriting history to exclude Dru Onyx), that he had defended the titles by himself (true) and that at the Medley he could beat the Hardcore Ninjaz by himself (we shall see). The Green Phantom also rewrote history by claiming to be undefeated at the Medley. Technically, the Green Phantom has never been pinned at the Medley, but he did lose at the Medley last year during Un F'N Sanctioned 2006 against the team of SABU and Pierre Carl Ouellet, when his partner Dru Onyx was pinned, while the Green Phantom was unconscious on the outside after being thrown off the Medley balcony by PCO. (Also during Know Your Enemies 2004 he did not wrestle and could hardly have lost.) Once all four wrestlers had signed the contract for the Tag Team Title Match, the Green Phantom went berserk. Eddy tried to control his partner, but paid the price as the Phantom gave his own partner a Pile Driver from the Brutopia stage through the press conference table. The Green Phantom ended the press conference by shouting, "If I am willing to do THAT to my own tag team partner, what do you think I am going to do to the Ninja Bitches?!?" The press conference was filmed and will be available on the Un F'N Sanctioned 2007 DVD when it is released in a couple of weeks by Smart Mark Video. In other news for the big show next Saturday: -Responding to threats by the IWS Owner, PCP Crazy F'N Manny, to end his career (and his life) at the Medley, NWA World Heavyweight Champion, Christian Cage wrote me to say, "I don't normally attack wrestling promoters. They're the guys who butter my bread. But if Manny is dumb enough to get in the ring, I'm prepared to make an exception out of him!" -Jagged of 2.0 called me to say how excited he is by the Medley show and his upcoming "Battle of 2.0" against his long-time partner, Shane Matthews. "You know, Llakor, in every great tag team, there is a work-horse and a pretty face. On 2.0, Shane is the pretty one. So when I'm kicking his ass in the ring, I am going to do my best (and my best is damn good) not to damage Shane's face. I'm not stupid. Shane's good looks gets us the girls and the matches. Then I get us the pins and the wins." -Ring of Honor and Jersey All-Pro Wrestler Azriel wrote me to thank me for the copy of Violent Valentine 2007 that I sent him. Commenting on the EXesS/Stefany match, he told me, "I don't think that I have ever been so disgusted by a wrestling match in my life. That was just excessively violent. I fought EXesS before. I thought he was a wrestler with honor. I was wrong. He's not. He's a bully and where I come from bully is just another word for coward. EXesS calls himself a trainer? Tell him I'm coming to teach him a lesson about honor." -Lionel Knight of Team Checkmate (Ontario's best tag team - just ask him and Chris Bishop) watched IWS Bloodstream (available here: http://syndicatewrestling.com/media.html ) and he called me to respond to a quip by Kid Kamikaze that Lionel Knight would not make it to the Medley because he would be stuck in jail. An incensed Lionel Knight asked me to pass on a message for him, "Tell that ignorant inbred Westmount idiot that I am not now in jail and I have never been in jail in the past and I don't plan on going to jail in the future, unless it is somehow against the law to beat that racist Triple K moron from one end of the Medley to the other, in which case, all bets are off!" -We have sold-out of VIP tickets and with just over 300 tickets sold to date, we have doubled our advance ticket sales from last year already. Ticket Pro has confirmed sales to fans from Japan, Germany, Scotland and many from the States. Fortunately, the Medley has many great places to watch the action and has space for more than 1500 people. Last year 837 people paid to see the Canadian show of the year. Will you be part of the audience for the show that has wrestling fans from all over the world excited? Un F'n Sanctioned 2007 Card: Saturday, March 24th, 2007 Medley, 1170 St-Denis (corner Rene Levesque) Metro Berri-UQAM Montreal, Quebec, CANADA Battle of 2.0: Jagged vs. Shane Matthews Regles de Quebec: Fred la Merveille vs. Shayne Hawke Special Outside Referee for the Match: Above Standards (Carl Choquette and Eric Lauze) EXesS Open Challenge: EXesS vs. Azriel Four Way Ladder Match: Hi-5 (Beef Wellington and Kid Kamikaze) vs. Team Checkmate (Lionel Knight and Chris Bishop) vs. Up In Smoke (Cheech and Cloudy) vs. Super Smash Brothers (Player Uno and Stupefied) Canadian Open: IWS Canadian Champion Dan Paysan vs. Justin White vs. Kenny the Bastard vs. Rob Vega$ vs. Pornstar Juan and Twiggy vs. Vanessa Kraven IWS Tag Team Title Match: Challengers The Hardcore Ninjaz vs. Champions The Green Phantom and Sexxxy Eddy IWS Title Match: Challenger Necro Butcher vs. Champion Viking Special Attraction: NWA World Heavyweight Champion Christian Cage and “Canadian Dynamite” Maxime Boyer vs. Pierre Carl Ouellet and “Paranoid” Jake Matthews The IWS proudly presents: Un F’N Sanctioned 2007, Saturday, March 24th, 2007, at the beautiful downtown Medley, 1170 St-Denis, near the Berri-UQAM Metro. Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:30 PM, show starts at 9 PM. VIP tickets are $30, Regular tickets are $25. VIP ticket holders admitted first. VIP tickets are almost sold out so order them today. No reserved seating. Tickets can be purchased online at http://www.ticketpro.ca or in person at the Medley box office. 18+. Card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.syndicatewrestling.com or e-mail [email protected] . Our DVDs for each show are released through www.smartmarkvideo.com . Our most recent release is Violent Valentine 2007 http://www.smartmarkvideo.com/cgi-bin/stor...at=&catstr= . Our best-selling DVD from last year is Un F’N Sanctioned 2006 featuring Sabu’s last match in the indies before his re-debut on Raw (two nights later) as well as the crazy hardcore Fans Bring the Weapons match http://www.smartmarkvideo.com/cgi-bin/stor...str=HOME:iwsdvd .

When We Were Marks Mirror, Mirror History is written by the victors. – Winston Churchill To hell with them. When history is written they will be the sons of bitches—not I. – Harry S. Truman When a villain looks in the mirror what does he see? What is the greatest paradox of the old school wrestling dressing rooms? The ones marked “Heels” for the bad guys and “Faces” for the good guys. (And no, it is not what happens when a wrestler turns - goes from heel to face or vice-versa – and how he gets his clothes back at the end of the night.) Why do people cheer for the heels? Well, taking the last as the first, I can not speak for why others cheer for the bad guys, I can only speak for myself. There are probably deep, troubling psychological reasons that leave me on the side of the villains, but the trigger was Hulk Hogan. I grew up watching Emil Dupre’s Maritimes wrestling promotion: Atlantic Grand Prix. Even then I leaned towards the heels, the shaggy Cuban Assassin, the weasel “No Class” Bobby Bass, most of all, the take-no-prisoners bad-ass Killer Karl Krupp, but they warred for my affections with my other heroes, the underdog Rudy Kay, the hairy Beast and most of all, the Maritimes’ perennial champion, Leo Burke. (All brothers as it turned out.) Vince McMahon bought out the Atlantic Grand Prix territory. According to Maritimes’ legend, in 1984, Vince came to Canada to buy out Emil and Stu Hart’s Calgary Stampede. He offered both of them an amount to be paid over five to ten years, Stu being offered more than Emil because the Calgary territory was worth far more than the Maritimes. Stu took the deal, got the agreed amount the first year, half the second year and nothing after that. Vince breaking the deal meant that Stu could restart Calgary Stampede and he did, but the promotion was never the same. Too much momentum; too much good will; too many fans had been lost, not to mention some of the best Calgary workers. Emil, so the story goes, rejected Vince’s proposal and made him a counter-offer: instead of the amount that Vince wanted to pay him over ten years, Emil suggested that Vince pay him half that amount, but in one lump sum. As a result, Emil got more for shutting down the Atlantic Grand Prix than Stu got for Calgary Stampede, and, according to legend, became one of the few men to shake hands with Vince McMahon and still have eight fingers and two thumbs left afterwards. The end result for both Calgary wrestling fans and Maritime wrestling fans (and for me) was the same: our local promotion disappeared from TV to be replaced by the WWF. I can not tell you when I saw my first WWF programming. Someone could probably figure it out though. The first WWF show that I ever saw had as its main event Hulk Hogan against the Genius. I recognized Hulk Hogan as the “Thunderlips” wrestler from Rocky III. As far as the Genius goes, all it took was one couplet of poetry and I knew instantly that the Genius was none other than “Leaping” Lanny Poffo. Now, you have to understand that for Maritime wrestling fans of my generation, Lanny Poffo was seated on the right hand side of God. Unlike many wrestlers who had the unattainable chiseled physique of a Greek God, Lanny had the slim athletic figure of a gymnast, and while Lanny’s athleticism sometimes seemed impossible, what truly made Lanny stand out was his mind. Lanny Poffo did things in the ring that no one else even imagined doing. The first match that I saw Lanny, he was fighting, I think Sweet Daddy Siki. I did not have much use for Siki. “No Class” Bobby Bass was sure impressed by him, but I thought he was a bit of a preening sissy. No one should be that obsessed with their hair! On the other hand, he had just finished a yearlong feud with Leo Burke for Leo’s belt and anyone who could push Leo to the limit deserved my grudging respect. In the match, Lanny was giving Siki fits. He was just too fast, until Siki finally grabbed Lanny by the arm and Irish-Whipped him into the corner. Siki was convinced that he finally had Lanny where he wanted him, until Lanny accelerated into the corner and then stunned Siki and everyone watching, when he ran up the turnbuckles and twisted in mid-air, coming down onto Siki like a thrown spear. The mid-air collision knocked Siki on to his back and when the referee counted three and raised Lanny’s hand in victory, stunned silence fell across the studio and across the Maritimes. Then pandemonium broke out. A star, a hero was born. Lanny run roughshod through all of the Atlantic Grand Prix heels until he ran into the ultimate badass, Killer Karl Krupp. I should have known that the fix was in. The match was for Krupp’s European title and Karl had a death-grip on that belt. He might lose a title match by count-out or, much more likely, by disqualification, but he was never going to lose the belt. When Krupp threw Lanny into the corner he planted his big German boots and caught Lanny like a fireman catching a child falling out of a tree. Once caught by the big man, the ending was quick, final, and for Lanny highly unpleasant. That was the last that we saw of Leaping Lanny in the Maritimes. Finding Lanny on WWF TV was like running into an old friend after a long absence. I was not an idiot. I understood that I was supposed to be cheering for Hulk Hogan and booing the Genius. But look at my choices: on one side you had my hero Lanny Poffo: smart, small, creative, poetic. If there was any wrestler in the universe that I could identify with, that I could aspire to become, it was Lanny Poffo. On the other side, was this thuggish, overly tanned, muscle-bound freak. Is it any wonder that I ended up rooting for Lanny Poffo and against Hulk Hogan? And if you were against Hulk Hogan that meant that Bobby Heenan was your friend. I was already predisposed to liking Bobby Heenan, because he reminded me of another old friend from the Maritimes: “No Class” Bobby Bass. Both Bobbys were fast-talking weasels who wrestled, managed other wrestlers and did colour commentary. Heenan is rightly credited for being one of the great managers in wrestling history, but he may have been the single greatest heel colour commentator of all time. Only JBL recently has come close to Heenan’s ability in this area. Heenan’s particular, peculiar genius was to articulate the grievances of the heels and he was so persuasive in the process, that even if you were not already cheering for the heels as I was, you could find yourself seduced by Bobby Heenan’s arguments. After all, as Bobby Heenan pointed out for more than a decade, why was it that when Hogan cheated he was cheered and when Heenan’s cronies did exactly the same thing they were booed? Heenan’s greatest moment, his crowning achievement, came in WCW. The great success of Eric Bischoff’s WCW, and perhaps its tragic flaw, was that it took WWF stories and carried them through to the logical conclusion that the WWF was unable or afraid to do. When Hulk Hogan joined Kevin Nash and Scott Hall to become the third man in the NWO, it was the heel turn of Hulk Hogan that wrestling fans had always secretly wondered about, perhaps even longed for. At ringside, Bobby Heenan had the satisfaction of finally, after years of wandering in the wilderness preaching against Hogan, of finally being right and being seen to be right. In an instant, Bobby Heenan went from Weasel to Prophet. Sometimes, it takes years, the judgement of history, to go from being a villain to a hero. Of course it helps if you are the one to write the history books. I recently read Peter David’s Captain Marvel series in which Marvel Comics’ perpetual sidekick Rick Jones finds himself trying to guide Genis, Captain Marvel’s kid and heir. Rick Jones, the man who is to blame for the Hulk and was chosen by Captain America to become the new Bucky, was Marvel’s eternal teenager. As a teen, he became linked to Captain Marvel pere, who was trapped in Marvel’s realm of anti-matter, the Negative Zone. When Rick Jones clapped his special wristbands together, the Nega-Bands, he and Captain Marvel switched places. During their adventures, Captain Marvel was exposed to cancer causing chemicals while saving a town, a sacrifice that eventually killed him. In Peter David’s series, Rick Jones is once again linked to a new Captain Marvel, only this time rather than being marooned in the Negative Zone, the one not in the regular dimension was exiled to the micro-verse, home of the Micronauts. Rick finds himself forced to be Genis’ mentor, advisor, and conscience, a role that he is not sure that he has the maturity for. Genis, grappling with trying to replace his legendary and beloved father, finds the cosmic power that he has received, too quickly and too easily, is a corrupting influence. It is an interesting and frequently very funny meditation on growing up, what it means to be a hero and the corrupting influence of power. In the series, during a story line called “Odyssey”, Genis and Rick find themselves tossed into the far future. The Earth is a desert planet and a group of alien archaeologists are in the process of restoring the Earth to its former glory using as their template the writings of Earth’s greatest hero, Victor. Captain Marvel, to his amusement, finds that Victor listed him as a “minor villain”, while Rick, to his horror, finds that history has completely forgotten him. Better to be known as a screw-up than not to be remembered at all! Rick and Genis discover that Victor is actually Viktor, as in Viktor Van Doom, as in Doctor Doom. History is written by the Viktors indeed! Part of the irony of the only record of the Marvel civilization being the biased self-promoting history of Doctor Doom is that Viktor has a reason to feel slighted by other biographers. Reed Richards experiments on his own family, turning them into monsters and circus freaks; Viktor tries to save his own mother from (literally) Hell and is permanently scarred. Reed Richards uses his scientific genius to his own profit; Viktor uses his to benefit his people and his country of Latveria. Granted that Viktor is not exactly a democrat, Doom’s idea of “One Man, One Vote” is that Latveria has one man whose vote counts, him. On the other hand, time and time again, when the Earth is in danger, it is Doom to whom the heroes turn to as a last resort. Viktor has a code of honour to which he clings no matter how much difficulty this creates for him. While Viktor’s greatest rival is Reed Richards, his greatest enemy is no less than Mephisto, the Devil himself. If you could see the world through Viktor Von Doom’s mask would you see yourself as a villain or as the world’s greatest hero? What if you could see the world through the mask that seems influenced in its design by the mask of Doctor Doom, the mask of Hannibal Lecter? Lecter is a serial killer and a cannibal, but he is so persuasive a character that he manages to convince his own creator of the justice in his arguments. Consider the trajectory of Lecter as a literary and film character. In Red Dragon, filmed originally as Manhunter, Lecter is a supporting monster. He is responsible for the retirement of William Petersen’s Will Graham and for Graham’s scars both mental and physical. Graham goes to confront Lecter, or as the movie would have it “Lektor”, in the insane asylum to reacquire the “scent” of the serial killer to help him catch the Red Dragon. Lecter knows what he is up to and is not impressed, dismissively telling him, “You want the scent? Smell yourself!” Even in a minor part, Lecter is seductive and persuasive, giving his raison-d’être, his reason for being a serial killer, a monster, in an exchange with Will Graham. Lecter: Did you really feel depressed after you shot Mr. Garrett Jacob Hobbes to death? l think you probably did. But it wasn't the act that got to you. Didn't you feel so bad, because killing him felt so good? And why shouldn't it feel good? lt must feel good to God. He does it all the time. God's terrific! He dropped a church roof on 34 of his worshippers in Texas last Wednesday night, just as they were groveling through a hymn to his majesty. Don't you think that felt good? Graham: Why does it feel good, Dr. Lecktor? Lecter: lt feels good because God has power. lf one does what God does enough times, one will become as God is. God's a champ. He always stays ahead. He got 140 Phillipinos in one plane crash last year. Remember that earthquake in ltaly last spring? The key to Lecter’s personal philosophy is the phrase, “lf one does what God does enough times, one will become as God is.” In Silence of the Lambs, Lecter moves into the position of male lead, acting as a demonic combination of Sherlock Holmes and Sigmund Freud, becoming Clarice Starling’s detective mentor and therapist. His therapy may be cruel, but there is no denying that in a perverse way he helps Clarice deal with long buried, painful memories. At the same time, his detective prowess is a bit of a parlour trick, Lecter knows all along who the killer is, he’s met him, but it amuses him to force Clarice to figure out how to catch him on her own. Hannibal perversely thrusts Lecter into the role of romantic lead as he and Clarice continue their odd courtship. Each protects and defends the other and the story begins to resemble a nightmarish Beauty and the Beast. The novel is distinctly different from the movie in that the novel ends with Lecter and Clarice together as a couple. In a sense, you could say that Lecter seduces his own creator, novellist Thomas Harris, into allowing him to seduce Clarice. The prequel to the Lecter series, Hannibal Rising finds Thomas Harris having gone right off the rails as he provides Hannibal with a justification for his evil deeds. Lecter’s family was killed and eaten during the Second World War, so Lecter’s criminal ways begin with appropriate revenge. It reduces Lecter to a canniballistic Paul Kersey. Again the creation seems to have taken over his creator, but then that was what Lecter always warned that he would do: become the creator by imitating his creator. Mind you, sometimes evil does begin with a single reasonable reaction to an unreasonable situation. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Consider the most successful villain in wrestling history in terms of drawing power. More people paid to see Stone Cold Steve Austin kick Vince McMahon’s ass than paid to see any other wrestling heel get their come-uppance. It takes a great villain to make a great hero and by those standards, Vince McMahon is arguably the greatest heel ever. But it started with a simple decision: stripping Bret Hart of his WWF title in Montreal, a decision so reasonable that even Bret Hart accepts it, saving his scorn and venom for the workers who collaborated with McMahon. For Vince, it was about saving his belt and saving his company. He had already seen his Woman’s champion, Madusa, appear on WCW and drop her WWF title in the garbage. Was it so unreasonable to think that the same could not happen with Bret Hart and the WWF title? The answer to that, of course, is that it was never in the character of Bret hart to do what Madusa did. Part of the insult of the Montreal Screw-Job was the implication that Vince McMahon could not trust Bret Hart to be Bret Hart, to do the right thing. But then that is probably because Vince McMahon was not judging Bret Hart based on Bret’s standards of behaviour, but based on Vince McMahon’s standards. Vince knew that Bret would betray him, because it was what Vince would have done in Bret’s place. After all, it was exactly what he had done to WCW when Ric Flair joined the WWF in 1992 with the WCW belt in tow. It is one of the enduring mysteries of WCW that they could not take advantage of Bret Hart’s betrayal. They had all the ingredients to proclaim that Bret was the REAL World’s Champion. All they had to do was re-run the WWF storyline from 1992 with Bret taking Ric Flair’s role. They even had Bobby Heenan on hand to fill the same role that he had with Flair. Before Montreal, people knew intellectually that Vince McMahon was the owner of the WWF, but his on-screen role, when he was on-screen, did not reflect his true role in the company. When an unpopular decision had to be made, any number of surrogates would announce them, whether their name was Gorilla Monsoon or Jack Tunney or Sergeant Slaughter. After Montreal, we not only knew intellectually that Vince McMahon was the owner of the WWF, we knew it in our guts; we knew it emotionally, and we blamed him for everything that we disliked about the WWF. He made himself, quite deliberately, a lightning rod for the fans’ unhappiness. The McMahon/Austin feud was an echo of what happened in Montreal, giving a fans a chance to voice their displeasure by watching Austin punish the man they blamed for Bret’s betrayal. But putting aside Vince’s underestimating and insulting Bret’s character for the moment, were Vince’s actions evil, or just unpopular? When Hulk Hogan cheated, the sheep cheered, when Heenan’s cronies did it, they booed. Were their actions so different? Or did we judge Hogan to a different standard because we liked him? In the International Wrestling Syndicate, our most consistent heel for the past three years has been the owner PCP Crazy F’N Manny. Prior to 2004, the fans knew that Manny owned the company, but his role in the ring was as a fan favourite drug addled underdog. The unpopular decisions were made by a series of surrogates, mostly by Commissioner Joseph FitzMorris. In the fall of 2004, the IWS was riding a surge of interest and popularity in the United States. Mike Burns of Smart Mark Video contacted us and offered to drive up from Philadelphia for each show, tape the show, drive back to Philadelphia and edit the show for release on his web-site within a week to two weeks. Even if we never sold one DVD on the Smart Mark Video web-site, the arrangement would be of huge benefit for us, because for the first time, we would have our DVDs edited and released for sale at our shows in a timely manner. Our video editor at the time was Derek Arsenault aka the Arsenal. When he found out that he was going to be replaced by Smart Mark Video, Derek flipped out at the implied insult. He posted on the czwfans message board that the reason that IWS DVDs had never been edited and released in a timely fashion in the past was because he had never been properly supported by Manny and the rest of IWS management. There was some truth in what Derek wrote. Manny still went berserk, less because he disagreed with Derek, but more because Derek was breaking kayfabe and dragging back-stage dirty laundry in front of the fans. Manny immediately decided to fire Derek, if for no other reason than that Derek’s recklessness was threatening our new relationship with Mike Burns and Smart Mark Video. The only problem was that Derek had cut a hi-lite reel to play before our next show, but had yet to turn it in. Manny decided to wait to fire Derek until he came to the show and turned in the hi-lite reel. Manny knew that firing the Arsenal, especially the way that he did it, would leak out amongst the fans, and he knew that that would mean that inevitably he would become the villain of the piece. He did not hesitate. His concern was the survival of his company, not his popularity. For his entire career, the Arsenal had been a heel. Once he was gone, the fans found that they missed him, and suddenly without having to do a thing, the absent Arsenal was the most popular baby-face in the company. The irony of the entire scenario is that the gossip took longer to spread than Manny feared. The fans knew that the Arsenal was gone, but they did not know exactly why he was gone. The Arsenal was fired on September 25th, 2004, before Freedom to Fight 2004, but the rumours did not spread fully until December. By the time that Manny publicly acknowledged the rumours at Season’s Beatings 2004 on December 18th, 2004, he had already privately re-hired a chastened Arsenal. Naturally a feud between the “fired” Arsenal and Manny developed, leading to a Fans Bring the Weapons Match at Un F’N Sanctioned 2005, March 26th, 2005 where Manny got his ass kicked by the numbers, most memorably when a TV set was dropped on his head. The feud with the Arsenal completed, Manny turned his attention to Beef Wellington, the popular clown prince of the IWS. The problem with Beef from Manny's point of view is that like many clowns, left to his own devices, Beef gets moody and sheds the tears of a clown. A motivated Beef is a sight to see, but he needs goals to guide him, whether it is the quest to fight the man whose bony ass broke his hand, or the quest to be able to fight a bear. Manny decided to become Beef’s motivation, even if he had to make Beef’s life hell in the process. Beef had the best feud of his life culminating in the Fans Bring Weapons Match at Un F’N Sanctioned 2006, June 3rd, 2006 where, once again, Manny got his ass handed to him. Of late, Manny has been butting heads with the IWS champion, Viking, a feud that saw Manny voted the most hated man in Quebec wrestling for 2006. Amongst other insults, Viking is the first IWS champion to have no belt. The former champion EXesS claims that his belt was stolen backstage during Breakout 2006, July 8th, 2006, when Viking won the title from EXesS. Manny refuses to spend his money paying to provide a belt for a “brawling beer soaked drug addict.” The irony is that before 2004, Manny was a brawling beer soaked drug addict. When Manny looks at Viking, he sees a French speaking portrait of himself as a younger man. This is perhaps the problem. When the IWS was more of a successful hobby, Manny could afford to indulge the fans’ whims, to be their poster boy of excess. Now that the IWS is a successful company, Canada’s most consistent promotion, Manny must manage the company like a company, make the unpopular decisions that will keep the company on track. Viking is a reminder of Manny’s past that he can no longer afford to indulge in. Is there something heroic in making hard decisions even though you know that those decisions will be unpopular? Certainly. Especially if you listen to Manny tell his verison of the story, there is heroism. But, then, we are all heroes of our own personal narratives, whether our name is Lanny Poffo or Hulk Hogan or Bobby Heenan or Viktor Van Doom or Hannibal Lecter or Vince McMahon or Manny Elefthriou or - insert your name here - . The paradox of the old school dressing room is: who would go into the dressing room marked “Heel”? Doesn’t everyone consider himself or herself to be a hero, to be a baby face? When a villain looks in the mirror he sees a hero looking back.

Countdown to Christian Cage New IWS Bloodstream for Un F’N Sanctioned 2007 We are less than two weeks away from the first visit to Quebec of an NWA World Heavyweight Champion in more than twenty years, since Ric Flair fought Rick Martel in 1985. But Christian Cage nearly had his visit to Montreal cancelled by International Wrestling Syndicate Owner PCP Crazy F’N Manny, until “Canadian Dynamite” Maxime Boyer stepped in and intervened. Manny was upset that Christian Cage decided to tag with Max Boyer rather than take Manny’s orders. For the full IWS Bloodstream to set up Un F’N Sanctioned 2007, March 24th at the downtown Montreal Medley, go here: http://syndicatewrestling.com/media.html The IWS will be throwing a press conference and pre-Medley party, Thursday, March 15th, 2007 at 9pm (21h) in Brutopia, 1219 Crescent. Fans and press are both welcome. Tickets for Un F’N Sanctioned will be available for sale. Confirmed for the press conference will be a contract signing for the IWS Tag Team Title Match between the challengers, the Hardcore Ninjaz and the champions, the Green Phantom and his new reluctant partner, Sexxxy Eddy. Un F’N Sanctioned Card – Quick and Dirty Saturday, March 24th, 2007 Medley, 1170 St-Denis (corner Rene Levesque) Metro Berri-UQAM Montreal, Quebec, CANADA Battle of 2.0: Jagged vs. Shane Matthews Regles de Quebec: Fred la Merveille vs. Shayne Hawke Special Outside Referee for the Match: Above Standards (Carl Choquette and Eric Lauze) EXesS Open Challenge: EXesS vs. Azriel Four Way Ladder Match: Hi-5 (Beef Wellington and Kid Kamikaze) vs. Team Checkmate (Lionel Knight and Chris Bishop) vs. Up In Smoke (Cheech and Cloudy) vs. Super Smash Brothers (Player Uno and Stupefied) Canadian Open: IWS Canadian Champion Dan Paysan vs. Justin White vs. Kenny the Bastard vs. Rob Vega$ vs. Pornstar Juan and Twiggy vs. Vanessa Kraven IWS Tag Team Title Match: Challengers The Hardcore Ninjaz vs. Champions The Green Phantom and Sexxxy Eddy IWS Title Match: Challenger Necro Butcher vs. Champion Viking NWA World Heavyweight Champion Christian Cage and “Canadian Dynamite” Maxime Boyer vs. Pierre Carl Ouellet and “Paranoid” Jake Matthews ************************************************ Detailed Preview for Un F’N Sanctioned The question of the hour for fans of 2.0 is this: Is Jagged the return of Marty Janetty or is he the return of Arn Anderson? Is the match a permanent split like Shawn Michaels and Marty Janetty or a temporary tiff like that between Arn Anderson and Ric Flair? Which is to say: is the Battle of 2.0 the break-up of the most popular tag-team of their generation or is it just Shane Matthews kicking at the traces after being on the injured reserve for six months? One way or another, it is a rare opportunity to see two of Quebec’s best fight against each other rather than as a team. From previous Quebec Rules matches, we have been told that an outside referee is required. Shayne Hawke has chosen the outside referee for his match against Fred la Merveille: Above Standards, Carl Choquette and Eric Lauze. Apparently, Shayne was working on the principle that as a team, Above Standards might make one competent referee. Fred, in turn, has promised a special enforcer for the match. No doubt, this will be a match with many additional rules that will only be unveiled at the Medley. EXesS’ open challenge has been answered by a man from EXesS’ past, ROH and JAPW star, Azriel. The two men put on a barn-burner of a match in JAPW where Azriel came out on top. Will EXesS have the home-town advantage in front of an IWS crowd still upset at EXesS for the way that he put Stefany in the hospital after Violent Valentine 2007? Team Checkmate have a justified grievance: they won a match last year to be declared Number One Contenders for the IWS Tag Team Titles, but they have never received their title match, largely due to the injuries that Chris Bishop suffered when a drunken driver crashed into his car. The two men have developed a bit of a paranoid persecution complex though, convinced that the IWS has it in for them because they are from Ontario. Team Checkmate are particularly incensed at being invited to re-earn their status as Number One Contenders in a Fatal Four Way Ladder Match at the Medley. Especially since Chris Bishop nearly killed himself last year at the Medley in a ladder match. Also competing in the match will be Hi-5 as Kid Kamikaze foolishly trusted Beef Wellington to get him a submissions match as a singles wrestler and instead finds himself in a tag team ladders match partnered with a man he can not stand. Rounding out the field will be American stars Cheech and Cloudy and the Pride of the Outaouais and Nintendorks everywhere, the Super Smash Brothers, Player Uno and Stupefied. One has to ask if Uno’s mastery of the Contra code will give him any special abilities to climb ladders? The Dapper Don, Dan Paysan, the IWS Canadian Champion, is now a champion in four different wrestling promotions and he is fast becoming an expert at beating people in groups. For each of his four belts he has to win or defend his title by beating five other men. Once again in the IWS Canadian Open, Dan Paysan will have to beat five other men: former IWS Canadian Champion Kenny the Bastard, 2006 NWA Rookie of the Year Justin White, JAPW star Rob Vega$; Pornstar Juan, Twiggy and the Hottest Prospect in Indy Wrestling, the Dark Amazon, Vanessa Kraven. So yeah, we can’t add. Although, technically, Dan has to defend his title against five men… and one woman. And Vanessa Kraven may just be the biggest threat to Dan Paysan’s title. The IWS Tag Team Title Champions, Mean and Green, Dru Onyx and the Green Phantom, are no longer champions. Dru Onyx is taking a wrestling sabbatical for his health, according to his partner the Green Phantom, “Dru Onyx has some problems internally with his organs.” The Phantom was prepared to defend his two belts on his own, but IWS Owner PCP Crazy F’N Manny forced the Green Phantom to take as his partner a man without a match for the Medley, the most decorated wrestler in IWS history, Sexxxy Eddy. The Phantom and Eddy have a long history of butting heads, but the Green Phantom does have a history of teaming successfully with a sexy baby oil covered wrestling star (EXesS as part of the tag team champions Green Oil). More importantly, the Green Phantom has never lost a match at the Medley. Can the Ninjaz take advantage of a fresh new team, break the Phantom’s win streak and win back their IWS tag team titles? The Human Car Crash, Necro Butcher has never set foot in the IWS ring, but he casts a large and ominous shadow over IWS history. During Combat Zone Wrestling’s Tournament of Death, Necro Butcher broke the Green Phantom’s nose with his first punch and cracked the Phantom’s orbital socket with his second, before the two men brawled their way into the hearts of the fans at ringside. Necro won that match, but lost to another IWS star, Lufisto, in Ontario’s Tournament of Death last year, but not before breaking Lufisto’s hand with his skull. During that same tournament, the now IWS champion Viking lost to Necro Butcher in an earlier round. Did Viking learn enough from that match to be able to defeat this American Hardcore Icon? In the most anticipated wrestling return to Quebec in years, Canadian native Christian Cage will be coming back home as the NWA World Heavyweight Champion. He may not be placing his title at risk as he teams with “Canadian Dynamite” Maxime Boyer, but he may be putting something even more precious on the line – his health. IWS Owner, PCP Crazy F’N Manny angered at Christian’s decision to tag with Boyer will be throwing against the two men two of the most vicious sadistic heavy-weight veterans that this country has ever seen: “Paranoid” Jake Matthews and the three time WWF tag team champion, WCW hardcore champion, TNA X-Division Battle Royal winner and ECW veteran, Pierre Carl Ouellet. And if those two psychopaths can not get the job done, Manny will be in their corner to help with the destruction. The biggest question that you need to ask yourself: Can you afford to miss a show that promises to be the Canadian show of the year? The IWS proudly presents: Un F’N Sanctioned 2007, Saturday, March 24th, 2007, at the beautiful downtown Medley, 1170 St-Denis, near the Berri-UQAM Metro. Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:30 PM, show starts at 9 PM. VIP tickets are $30, Regular tickets are $25. VIP ticket holders admitted first. VIP tickets are almost sold out so order them today. No reserved seating. Tickets can be purchased online at http://www.ticketpro.ca or in person at the Medley box office. 18+. Card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.syndicatewrestling.com or e-mail [email protected] . Our DVDs for each show are released through www.smartmarkvideo.com . Our most recent release is Violent Valentine 2007 http://www.smartmarkvideo.com/cgi-bin/stor...at=&catstr= . Our best-selling DVD from last year is Un F’N Sanctioned 2006 featuring Sabu’s last match in the indies before his re-debut on Raw (two nights later) as well as the crazy hardcore Fans Bring the Weapons match http://www.smartmarkvideo.com/cgi-bin/stor...str=HOME:iwsdvd .

Putting on the Ritz for Christian Cage When NWA World Heavyweight Champion Christian Cage returns to Canada, to wrestle in Montreal for the International Wrestling Syndicate, during our biggest show of the year Un F’N Sanctioned 2007 at the beautiful downtown Medley, it is time to dress up, to put our best foot forward. To do this properly, we have relaunched our web-site www.syndicatewrestling.com . Christian Cage will be teaming with “Canadian Dynamite” Maxime Boyer to battle Quebec wrestling legend Pierre Carl Ouellet and veteran “Paranoid” Jake Matthews. Also invited to the show is hardcore icon Necro Butcher who will fight for the IWS title against our brawling beer-soaked champion Viking. We are also pleased to announce that we have an entrant for the EXesS Open Challenge. After EXesS put Stefany in the hospital amd nearly killed her during Violent Valentine 2007, we feared that no one would step to accept EXesS’ challenge, but a figure from EXesS’ past recently emailed me. Ring of Honor and Jersey All Pro Wrestling star Azriel will travel to Montreal on March 24th “to teach that bully some manners!” Azriel has already faced and beaten EXesS in JAPW once before and looks forward to doing the same in the IWS. Since 2001, our downtown Medley shows have brought wrestling fans the very best that Quebec wrestling has to offer. Which makes a really awkward segue to talking about the Inter Species Wrestling gala Slamtasia that took place last night, March 3rd, and showcased zombies and tigers and bears. Oh my! Yeah, I got nothing. We usually refer to Inter Species Wrestling as our “retarded little stepbrother” but I have been getting complaints from the Politically Correct Brigade. As far as alternatives are concerned, I am torn between “cancerous growth” and “deformed Siamese twin that clings to our back like the hump on a hunchback.” Other suggestions are welcomed. ISW Slamtasia Results Quick and Dirty Attendance 162 Saturday, March 3rd, 2007 Bogey's World, Montreal, Quebec, CANADA Sexxxy Eddy vs. Kenny the Bastard vs. King Sphinx The pose-off between Sexxy Eddy and King Sphinx lasted until 4:30. Sexxy Eddy won with the Total Sexxxtasy on King Sphinx at 13:04 or 8:34 after the end of the pose-off/second bell. Badd Boys (Chad Badd and Brad Badd) vs. Frank Mancini and Dirk Driggers Badd Boys won with their double team catapult into a clothesline on Frank Mancini at 3:31. Third Annual Kid Kamikaze Invitational: Kid Kamikaze vs. Justin White Kid Kamikaze beat Justin White with a roll-up at 10:36. Grudge Match of the Century: Giant Tiger vs. Beef Wellington Beef Wellington beat Giant Tiger with a shoulder tackle at 0:31. Grudge Match of the Century II: Electric Bugaloo Beef Wellington vs. Giant Tiger New match started after Giant Tiger threatened to rape Beef Wellington's father. Match ruled a no-contest at 5:59 after a Bear wearing a CZW shirt came into the ring and hit Beef Wellington with a chair. Dream Mystery Partners Tag Match: Lady and the Tramp (Flip D. Berger and Stinky the Homeless Guy) vs. When Animals Attack (Moohammad, the Terrorist Cow and the Iron Sheep) Flip D. Berger pinned the Iron Sheep with an Apple Piledriver at 13:04. Coal Miner's Glove Match: Twiggy vs. Fred la Merveille Twiggy hit Fred with the Coal Miner's Glove for the win after 11:23. El Generico vs. Zombified The Pro Wrestling Guerrilla champion, El Generico, won with the BRAAAAAAINBUSTTTAAAH!!! at 10:41 Kill Uno II: Kevin Steen vs. Player Uno Kevin Steen killed Uno with a Package Piledriver at 14:33. "Canadian Dynamite" Maxime Boyer vs. Michael Von Payton MVP submitted to Boyer at 13:41. ISW Title Casket Match: Viking vs. Izzy Deadyet ISW and IWS champion Viking defended his title stuffing into the casket Izzy Deadyet, King Zombie Gorelust and a third unnamed Zombie who was hiding in the casket and then closing the lid at 11:59. To celebrate his victory, Viking climbed to the top rope and jumped onto the casket, breaking the lid and crushing the three zombies. ***************************************************** ISW Slamtasia Detailed Results Slamtasia started with a three way dance that pitted three wrestlers against each other who have never won a match in ISW: Sexxxy Eddy, King Sphinx and Kenny the Bastard. When the referee called for the bell, Sexxxy Eddy challenged King Sphinx to a pose-off which climaxed with Eddy inviting a lucky fan into the ring so that he could strip for her. When King Sphinx tried to duplicate Eddy’s strip, he discovered that it is much harder to remove your clothes when you do not have tear-away pants. The pose-off ended at 4:30 with the ref calling for the bell a second time as Kenny the Bastard humped Eddy’s leg while King Sphinx tried to cut his pants loose with a pair of scissors. When I got into wrestling journalism, somehow that was a sentence that I never envisaged writing. Kenny dominated the match in the early going despite Eddy and King Sphinx trying to forge an alliance of convenience. Kenny was forced to watch Eddy as won the match, pinning King Sphinx with his Total Sexxxtasy, a reverse shooting star press, at 13:04 or 8:34 after the bell was rung the second time. I feel compelled to warn anyone foolhardy enough to purchase this DVD when it comes out in a couple of weeks that you will be exposed to the mumblings of the world’s worst ring announcer in the entire world. I ought to know he is bad, I have to listen to his tone-deaf warblings every morning when I shower, and I see his ugly puss in my mirror every morning when I shave. You would think that the idiots at ISW would know how bad I am too, they have previously hired me and lived to regret it, but ISW owner, Mike Rotch, was so happy at the turnout for Slamtasia that he was oblivious to my warnings of impending doom. He confided in me that he only needed to sell 160 tickets to break even and have enough left over to buy a Nintendo Wii, and with 162 tickets sold, he had made his goal. The Badd brothers, Chad Badd and Brad Badd continued their reign of terror in the ISW, physically dissecting Frank Mancini and Dirk Driggers, before ending the contest with the Badd Move, a double team catapult into a clothesline followed by the arrogant foot cover for the win at 3:31. Kid Kamikaze won his Third Annual Kid Kamikaze Invitational with a roll-up on Justin White after 10:36. Chalk it up to a rookie error by the young Justin White, the NWA 2006 Rookie of the Year. On the other hand, credit the graduate of Dru Onyx’ Torture Chamber for pushing Kid Kamikaze to the limit and forcing the technical wizard to take advantage of the rookie mistake to eke out a win. The fans were so impressed that we conducted a poll to see if they wanted to see Justin White perform at Un F’N Sanctioned 2007 and the fans enthusiastically extended him an invitation to the Medley. Beef Wellington got his revenge on Giant Tiger in lightning quick fashion, pinning his hated rival in 31 seconds with a simple shoulder tackle. While Beef was celebrating, Giant Tiger complained that he was not ready for the match. The discount store mascot persuaded Beef back into the ring by threatening to rape Beef’s father. The tasseled warrior looked to be in position to win the match for a second time, when a Bear ran out of the back wearing a CZW shirt and waving a chair. The entire ISW promotion was inspired by Beef Wellington’s historic match with “a Bear” in June of 2004 at V. Beef J. Wellington and a Bear were later tag team partners in CHIKARA as “BJ and the Bear”. Beef’s former tag team partner betrayed him on this occasion, decking Beef with the chair and forcing the ref to declare the match a no-contest at 5:59. For their Mystery Dream Partners Tag Match, Flip D. Berger looked no further than the dumpster behind his fast food employer, recruiting Stinky the Homeless Guy. Moohammad, the Terrorist Cow aimed slightly higher, making a call to the home country for former World Heavyweight champion, the Iron Sheep to come out of retirement. Despite offering his partner decades of experience in the squared circle, the Iron Sheep’s ignorance of new trends in wrestling may have been his team’s downfall as When Animals Attack fell victim to Lady and the Tramp’s unscrupulous and illegal use of Lego to gain an unfair advantage. Flip finished off the Iron Sheep with an Apple Piledriver at 13:04. A fan described the Iron Sheep as looking "like the spawned love child of Shane Storm and Lambchop the puppet!" Fred la Merveille attacked me to begin the Coal Miner’s Glove match, so I was rooting for Twiggy to grab the glove and knock Fred’s lights out. Twiggy grabbed the glove first, starting a back and forth struggle for control of the glove which Twiggy won to take down Capitaine Quebec at 11:23. After the match, Twiggy, his tag-team partner Pornstar Juan and his manager, Rikki Radcliff celebrated Twiggy’s victory by lifting me onto their shoulders. This was completely unnecessary and rather undignified. For one thing, I am terrified of heights. Fred was lui-meme rather undignified about his loss, threatening to thrash me no matter how much I protested that I am not a wrestler. Fortunately, Twiggy came to my rescue giving Fred, and his valet Wonder Girl, the Tiny Tim Stunner. I must grudgingly admit that the DVD of Slamtasia will be worth tracking down just to see the best match in ISW’s history between the PWG champion, El Generico and the 2006 IWS Rookie of the year, Stupefied’s brother by an undead mother, Zombiefied. PWG has gone on record as believing that Zombies Shouldn’t Run, but watch this match and You Will Believe That ZOMBIES CAN FLY! It took a huge BRAAAAAINBUSSTTAAAH! by El Generico to stun the speedy undead long enough for El Generico to pick up the pin at 10:41. Also during the match, Zombiefied and El Generico broke a chair during a dive sequence. ISW owner Mike Rotch had a stricken look on his face knowing that he would have to pay IWS owner “Uncle” Manny to replace any broken chairs, putting Rotch’s Nintendo Wii fund at risk. Worse was to come though. An excerpt from Kevin Steen’s diary: “Saturday, March 3rd, 2007. Rewatched my match against Jushin Thunder Liger. I rule. Humiliated sparring partner while training. Picked up my plaques from Pat LaPrade for winning every damn award in the Quebec Wrestling Almanac. Killed Uno.” Let history record that it was with the Package Piledriver at 14:33. Personal confession time: I hate Michael Von Payton. I despise the man. Not because he’s taller than I am; not because he’s better looking; not because he is more talented; not because he is in better shape than I am. I mean he is, but that is not why I hate him. I despise the man because he has sex with Misty Haven on a regular basis and I do not. Oddly, Kevin Steen feels exactly the same way. At least, that is what Kevin Steen said when he ripped the microphone from me (and my cue cards) to replace me as ISW ring announcer and introduce MVP plus Max Boyer. Normally, Kevin and I disagree on everything. Misty Haven has a male harem! Who knew? MVP has good reasons to be annoyed with ISW junior official, Alex Hetfield. Twice Alex’ inexperience cost MVP dearly in his match against “Canadian Dynamite” Maxime Boyer. The “Pride of the Outaouais” had the match won with a flash roll-up. Unfortunately, Hetfield was just as startled by the move as Boyer and by the time he started counting, Boyer had had ample time to wriggle free. Later, Boyer had MVP trapped in a single leg Boston Crab. When Payton reached the ropes the hold should have been broken, but Hetfield allowed Boyer to drag MVP back to the centre of the ring. MVP resisted tapping to the Crab, but when Boyer torqued up the pressure by twisting the Crab into a Stepover Toehold Facelock Surfboard combination and bent MVP even further into an STF double chicken wing combination, MVP had no choice but to cry “Uncle!” at 13:41. The main event if ISW was a Casket Match between the ISW and IWS champion Viking and the ground and pound brawling zombie Izzy Deadyet. Viking confessed to me backstage that he does not have a lot of experience with Casket Matches or with caskets for that matter. Fitting his name, most of Viking’s family are cremated to give them a warrior’s burial. Brawls, on the other hand, are a Viking specialty. Especially brawls where Viking is outnumbered and fighting desperately for his own survival. So when Viking decked Izzy Deadyet’s manager King Zombie Gorelust and opened the casket to throw in Izzy, it was no great shock that Gorelust had hidden a third zombie in the casket. It was not exactly a surprise when the match disintegrated into a chair-breaking brawl. Except perhaps to ISW owner Mike Rotch, who paid over the money for his Nintendo Wii to Uncle Manny, one broken chair at a time. Viking won the match, stuffing all three of his zombie opponents into the casket and closing the lid at 11.59 He celebrated by climbing to the top rope and diving off on to the casket, breaking the lid and crushing the three zombies. The ISW ring crew carried the casket and the triumphant Viking to the back to end the show. Please support the “Buy Mike Rotch a Wii” fund by buying ISW Slamtasia when it is released on Smart Mark Video and Fortune Video within the next week or so. You don’t want Rotchy living in van down by the river (well, technically the Rideau Canal) without something to do to occupy his time do you? The MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT promised by the ISW for the show is that the ISW and the IWS are invited back to Montreal’s Ile St-Helene to put on a show during the Warped Tour’s visit to Montreal. In addition, there will be an ANIMAL CROSSING of the US/Canada border as the ISW has been invited to put on a show during the Warped tour’s visit to an undisclosed US city. (The management of ISW wisely would rather not disclose the location as of yet, fearing that with enough advance notice, officials in the American Humane Society could shut them down for cruelty to animals or cruelty to people or not keeping zombies on a leash or a myriad of other offences.) Expect more details in the months to come. The IWS proudly presents: Un F’N Sanctioned 2007, Saturday, March 24th, 2007, at the beautiful downtown Medley, 1170 St-Denis, near the Berri-UQAM Metro. Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:30 PM, show starts at 9 PM. VIP tickets are $30, Regular tickets are $25. VIP ticket holders admitted first. VIP tickets are almost sold out so order them today. No reserved seating. Tickets can be purchased online at http://www.ticketpro.ca or in person at the Medley box office. 18+. Card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.syndicatewrestling.com or e-mail [email protected] . Un F’N Sanctioned Card to date: 2006 NWA Rookie of the Year Justin White will make his IWS debut Dan Paysan will defend his IWS Canadian title EXesS Open Challenge: ExesS vs. Azriel Battle of 2.0: Jagged vs. Shane Matthews Quebec Rules Match: Fred la Merveille vs. Shayne Hawke IWS Tag Team Title match: Mean and Green (Dru Onyx and the Green Phantom) vs. the Hardcore Ninjaz IWS Title match: Viking vs. Necro Butcher NWA World Heavyweight champion Christian Cage and “Canadian Dynamite” Maxime Boyer vs. Pierre Carl Ouellet and “Paranoid” Jake Matthews Our DVDs for each show are released through www.smartmarkvideo.com . Our most recent release is Praise the Violence 2007 http://www.smartmarkvideo.com/cgi-bin/stor...str=HOME:iwsdvd . Our best-selling DVD from last year is Un F’N Sanctioned 2006 featuring Sabu’s last match in the indies before his re-debut on Raw (two nights later) as well as the crazy hardcore Fans Bring the Weapons match http://www.smartmarkvideo.com/cgi-bin/stor...str=HOME:iwsdvd .

Slamtasia will Amazia! The International Wrestling Syndicate is proud - scratch that - delighted – no, not really - mortified? - sounds good let’s run with it - to announce that our retarded little stepbrother Inter Species Wrestling will be putting on a show called Slamtasia next Saturday, March 3rd, 2007 at Bogey’s World in Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. God have mercy on us all. Slamtasia Card Quick and Dirty Saturday, March 3rd, 2007 Bogey’s World, Montreal, Quebec, CANADA 3250 Cremazie East, corner of Cremazie and St-Michel (Near the St-Michel Metro) There will be a MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT! The Badd Boys will be in the house! Sexxxy Eddy vs. Kenny the Bastard vs. King Sphinx Zombified vs. El Generico Max Boyer vs. Michael Von Payton The Kid Kamikaze Invitational Number Three Dream Partners Tag Match: Moohammad and Mystery Partner vs. Flip D. Berger and To Be Announced Coal Miner's Glove Match: Twiggy vs. Fred La Merveille Kill Uno II: Kevin Steen vs. Player Uno ISW Title Casket Match: Viking vs. Izzie Deadyet *************************** Slamtasia Detailed Preview I blame Jacques Rougeau Jr. Technically Inter Species Wrestling draws its inspiration from Beef Wellington and his famous match against a bear at V in June 2004 (also Kaiju Big Battle and CHIKARA and Japan’s Dramatic Dream Team), but Beef drew his inspiration for the match from Jacques’ wrestling bear with a weak bladder. Now, I suppose Jacques can not be blamed for Beef’s odd sense of humour. On the other hand, Jacques was responsible for training Beef or at least taking Beef’s money to be trained. My point is that the man had an opportunity to stop this nonsense in its tracks and DID NOTHING! So, I blame Jacques Rougeau Jr. for Slamtasia. It is important to have someone to blame, because when the Badd Boys get in the ring, people wind up getting hurt. We do not yet know who the brothers Badd’s designated victims will be. I hope that they have supplemental medical insurance, because Canada’s free Medicare can only do so much. Will there be a medic in the house? I hope that we will have one at the show, preferably in the audience for Twiggy and Fred la Merveille’s Coal Miner’s Glove match, a match so violent, so brutal that it effectively ended Jake the Snake Robert’s career in WCW. I do not know if Montreal is ready for the horror of this match. Prepare to be horrified, because this show will not be for the faint of heart. You have to question the sanity of the organizers of any wrestling promotion who ask MOI to be their ring announcer, especially when I have already done it for them twice and flamed out by the numbers both times. Even worse than that, these bozos have decided to entrust me with a MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT THAT WILL – apparently their Caps Lock button is broken – CHANGE THE FUTURE OF THE ISW forever. (Forever is not worth capitalizing?) Always capitalizing on any chance to put himself over at the expense of others, Kid Kamikaze will be hosting his third-ever Kid Kamikaze Invitational. No doubt he will once again be unveilling even more submissions so inventive and obscure that even Mike Quackenbush has no name for them. We have no names for the partners of Moohammad, the terrorist cow and Flip D. Berger, the McJobber as these two rivals resume their feud. I know that according to all rules of civilized behaviour I should be siding with Flip D. Berger in this fight. After all, Moohammad is a self-professed terrorist. And yet, can you blame him? How would you feel seeing your friends, your parents, your brothers, your sisters, your children, an entire bovine generation carted away to be tortured, killed and ground into so many trans-fat, heart-attack inducing, cancer-causing, undercooked e-coli ridden beef patties? Especially by a grinning buffoon like Flip D. Berger! Let’s be honest here people: No one should be as happy with their mind numbing McJob as this guy is. BUS FI WAHAD MOOHAMMAD I say. Did I say busty? One of the oddest things about the ISW is the huge number of beautiful, busty women who come to their shows. So much so that I am reliably told that Sexxxy Eddy drops his usual price for ISW as a result. This distraction might also explain why Eddy has never won a match in the ISW. But ISW management is doing their best to give Eddy a win… by putting him in a three-way dance with two other guys who have never won a match in the ISW: Kenny the Bastard and King Sphinx. One of these three will have to win… and then pigs will fly. Impossible as it is to believe, the ISW will actually be putting on a match between two wrestlers who will have an actual honest to God wrestling match. (I know, how did that sneak through? Someone must have been asleep on the booking committee.) And continuing the miracles, it is between two of the best in Quebec: “Canadian Dynamite” Maxime Boyer and the Pride of the Outaouais, Michael Von Payton. Maxime Boyer will no doubt be looking to prepare for his big match at the Medley, March 24th at Un F’N Sanctioned 2007 where he will team up with the NWA World Heavyweight Champion, Christian Cage to face off against Pierre Carl Ouellet and “Paranoid” Jake Matthews, (buy your tickets today!) but he had better not be looking past MVP, because if he disrespects the big man, MVP will kill him. I am going to have a view to a kill. Like the Bond film, ISW will be giving us a sequel of sorts when they present Kill Uno II. Now I have to say that I am not in favour of Uno dying at all, except of course that he dies in such wonderfully, entertaining ways. He reminds me of the golden days when Don Bluth’s Dragon’s Lair was first released and I used to pump entire rolls of quarters into the machine, not to win, winning Dragon’s Lair was easy. No, I wanted to see all the various ways that that stupid knight could die, because like Uno he could really die in a very amusing gruesome ways. And no one in Quebec is better at inflicting death in gruesomely entertaining ways, than the great Red Dragon of Quebec wrestling, “Mister Wrestling” Kevin Steen. Wait a minute, did I say that I was going to be ring announcing? And did I also say that Kenny the Bastard is going to be here? DAMN IT! He is going to hump my leg isn’t he? I just had my white suit dry-cleaned. I am going to end up with New Zealand lizard spunk all over me. CRAP! Which reminds me of what you have to scrape off the bottom of your shoes after you go for a walk in the park. And that “moo” of distaste that you are making is exactly the way that Beef Wellington feels about Giant Tiger. How exactly these two – well men, sort of – will clash at Slamtasia remains to be seen. One thing is certain, Giant Tiger ruined Beef Wellington’s childhood and for that crime Giant Tiger will surely pay. Oh yes, he will. Not to mention the crime of trying to return one of Beef’s shirts for a refund. Unfortunately, being Giant Tiger, he will probably pay wholesale rather than retail. I do not know where you stand on the great debate of our times. Are you in favour of the traditional ground and pound zombies? Do you believe in the hyped on speed super-fast zombies? Are you one of the rare proponents of the "Send... more... paramedics. ..." talking zombies? Well ISW refuses to take a stand so they book all of them. In fact it sometimes seems that King Zombie Gorelust has an even bigger army at his beck and call every show that ISW gives. Inter Species Wrestling, the only promotion where the cast routinely outnumbers (and eats) its audience. Representing the methamphetamine zombie crowd is Zombiefied. He is the brother by an undead mother of the IWS 2006 Rookie of the Year, Stupefied. Trying to fend off his attack will be El Generico. Normally, I would be worried about Zombiefied’s opponent. Not only do you have to beat this super-fast zombie, but you can’t let him bite you or bleed on you or sneeze on you or scratch you. Fortunately, El Generico is a PHD graduate of the El Santos School of Monster Control, a special academy for masked wrestlers based in Generico’s hometown of Tijuana, Mexico. El Generico has told me that he has recently taken a refresher course on zombies and he is confident of his ability to handle Zombiefied. Actually, he said “OLE!”, but it was the way that he said it… For traditionalists, Izzie Deadyet is your ground and pound zombie more suited to a brawl than a foot race. And a brawl is what he will get when he faces everyone’s favourite beer-soaked frenchie, the ISW and ISW champion, Viking. Appropriately for a match featuring the undead, this match will be fought under casket match rules. I researched the subject for oh all of about thirty seconds and I was able to determine that this is the first casket match ever to be held in Canada… featuring a zombie… and a guy named Viking. That’s your Slamtasia preview. You have been warned. Further warning: Absolutely do not click on the following two links which are promos for the assorted weirdness of Slamtasia. I have been threatened that even more promos will be unleashed on the world next week. Avoid turning on your computer to be spared the horror, the horror… Our retarded little step-brother, Inter-Species Wrestling, will be hosting a show called Slamtasia, Saturday, March 3rd, 2007 at Bogey’s World Bar & Billiard, 3250 Cremazie East (corner of Cremazie and St-Michel near the St-Michel metro), Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:00pm, show starts at 8:00pm, tickets are $10. No reserved seating. 18+, card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.beyondthebarn.org or e-mail [email protected] . The IWS proudly presents: Un F’N Sanctioned 2007, Saturday, March 24th, 2007, at the beautiful downtown Medley, 1170 St-Denis, near the Berri-UQAM Metro. Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:30 PM, show starts at 9 PM. VIP tickets are $30, Regular tickets are $25. VIP ticket holders admitted first. VIP tickets are almost sold out so order them today. No reserved seating. Tickets can be purchased online at http://www.ticketpro.ca or in person at the Medley box office. 18+ Card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.syndicatewrestling.com or e-mail [email protected] . Un F’N Sanctioned Card to date: Dan Paysan will defend his IWS Canadian title Battle of 2.0: Jagged vs. Shane Matthews Quebec Rules Match: Fred la Merveille vs. Shayne Hawke IWS Tag Team Title match: Mean and Green (Dru Onyx and the Green Phantom) vs. the Hardcore Ninjaz IWS Title match: Viking vs. Necro Butcher NWA World Heavyweight champion Christian Cage and “Canadian Dynamite” Maxime Boyer vs. Pierre Carl Ouellet and “Paranoid” Jake Matthews Our DVDs for each show are released through www.smartmarkvideo.com . Our most recent release is Praise the Violence 2007 http://www.smartmarkvideo.com/cgi-bin/stor...str=HOME:iwsdvd . Our best-selling DVD from last year is Un F’N Sanctioned 2006 featuring Sabu’s last match in the indies before his re-debut on Raw (two nights later) as well as the crazy hardcore Fans Bring the Weapons match http://www.smartmarkvideo.com/cgi-bin/stor...str=HOME:iwsdvd .

Written largely to be used as the IWS' Wikipedia entry which accounts for the use of wrestler's real names. I fundamentally refuse to break kayfabe for masked wrestlers though. We will see how long the Wikipedia entry lasts before it gets vandalized. My over/under bet is an hour. When We Were Marks The History of the International Wrestling Syndicate Dawson Wrestling Federation In April of 1998, Eddy Dorozowsky aka Sexxxy Eddy organized the Dawson Wrestling Federation to perform outdoor shows on the grounds of Dawson College in Montreal. He became the promotion’s first champion. After a DWF show, Rumble in the Parc, on April 23rd, 1999, live wrestling was permanently banned from being performed on Dawson College property. World Wrestling Syndicate Eddy joined with Manny Elefthriou aka PCP Crazy F’N Manny and Nick Patterson aka Nixon Stratus to form the World Wrestling Syndicate. Manny had noticed that a local bar called Wally’s had four large concrete pillars arranged in a square approximately eighteen feet apart. He realized that by attaching ropes to the pillars and laying down mats, he could have a make-shift wrestling ring without having to pay to build or rent one. The WWS had their first show, Blood, Sweat & Beers 1999 at Wally’s on June 17th, 1999. Nick Patterson’s brother Mike, later a minor celebrity in Montreal for his kid’s show and his commercials, became the WWS’ first ring announcer: “Iron” Mike Patterson. The WWS quickly gained a reputation in Quebec for putting on fast-paced, entertaining shows. They also developed a reputation for hardcore wrestling inspired by Japanese death matches by promotions like Dai Nippon Puroresu aka Big Japan Pro-Wrestling, and by American hardcore promotions like Extreme Championship Wrestling and Combat Zone Wrestling. Some Quebec wrestling critics nick-named the WWS, “le fed Canadian Tire”, because of the hardware used during the matches. Wally’s closed in 2000. The last WWS show at Wally’s, Praise the Violence 2000, was April 8th 2000. Internet Wrestling Syndicate One after the other, Sexxxy Eddy and Nixon Stratus decided to leave the management of the company to Manny and concentrate on their wrestling. At about the same time, Manny entered into a partnership with Wild Rose Productions, a Montreal-based Internet adult entertainment company owned by Carol Cox. They renamed the company the Internet Wrestling Syndicate. The IWS presented its first show, Change, at the Just For Laughs Cabaret on November 10, 2000. It held the first of its soon to be famous Medley shows, Praise the Violence 2001, in downtown Montreal on March 31st, 2001. David “the Crow” Loiseau of the Ultimate Fighting Championship was the special guest referee of the main event where PCP Crazy F'N Manny beat the then IWS champion Nixon Stratus to win the title. Hardcore Ninja Number Two began an IWS Medley tradition by diving off the second story balcony on to the Green Phantom. May 25, 2001, with Know Your Enemies 2001, the IWS began putting on shows at Le Skratch in Chomedey, Laval. Le Skratch would be the home base of the IWS for the next two years. During this period, the IWS became even more aggressive with its hardcore matches. The IWS is credited, by some, for being the first wrestling promotion in Canada to use light tubes, June 3rd, 2001, during Tournament of the Icons 2 in a match held at the Olympia Arena in Deux Montagnes. This show, organized by then IWS Commissioner and Deux Montagnes resident Joseph FitzMorris, also featured the guest appearances of Aurelian Jake Smith, Jr. aka Jake “the Snake” Roberts and James Henry Neidhart aka Jim “the Anvil” Neidhart. The IWS had its first “Fans Bring the Weapons Match” July 14th, 2001, at Le Skratch, during Un F’N Sanctioned 2001, which became an almost-annual bloody tradition of the promotion. Many wrestling observers believe that the IWS set a North American record here for most light tubes used in a match. During the Summer of 2001, the IWS added to its hardcore reputation in an unexpected way. While presenting an outdoor show on rue St-Laurent, “the Main”, as part of the Montreal Fringe Festival, one of the spectators suffered a heart attack and had to be taken by ambulance to the nearest hospital. The IWS’ second Medley show, Born to Bleed 2001 was held November 10th, 2001. Christopher Wilson aka the then CZW champion, Justice Pain, was the special guest. Notably in attendance were Neil Felzenstein aka Beef Wellington and Dylan Joffre aka Kid Kamikaze. The two young students of Quebec wrestling legend Jacques Rougeau Jr. decided on the spot to leave Rougeau and join the IWS. Continuing the balcony dive tradition, then IWS champion, Sexxxy Eddy defended his title and won the main event by doing a leaping frog splash off the balcony and on to PCP Crazy F’N Manny. On November 24th, 2001, at Payback’s a Bitch 2001 Carl "XL" Leduc was scheduled to face the then IWS champion Sexxxy Eddy for the IWS title. Carl, the son of Quebec wrestling legend Paul Leduc, is most famous for beating John "Bradshaw" Layfield under his Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw gimmick during a WWF dark match in Montreal on August 2, 1996, and for being the screaming wrestling student stretched by Stewart Edward Hart aka Stu Hart, the patriarch of the Hart family in his famous basement Dungeon training space during the documentary Wrestling With Shadows. Backstage, just before the main event, Carl suddenly refused to lose to Eddy, and then went out to the ring, mixing kayfabe with reality in a hysterical rant where he told the fans that he refused to job to a man who was probably sick with AIDS, referring to Eddy’s gimmick as a porn star. Carl menaced the fans at ring side and took several swings at them until Manny came to the ring and paid Carl for the match he had refused to do and had IWS security throw him out of the building.. At this point, the IWS had been renting their ring from the Federation de Lutte Quebecoise, the Leduc’s wrestling promotion. (One of Carl Leduc’s nicknames is "La Terroriste" rather tastelessly referring to the fact that the FLQ share their initials with la Front de Libération du Québec, the Quebec seperatist terrorist group of the 1970's who kidnapped British diplomat James Cross and kidnapped and murdered Quebec Minister of Labour Pierre Laporte.) Carl Leduc's melt-down left the IWS without a ring. The IWS reached an agreement with Serge and Ludger Proulx’s Inter Championship Wrestling promotion to rent their ring, but correctly fearing that that relationship would not last long, Manny hired local wrestler Iceberg to build the IWS a ring of its own. In 2002, the IWS announced a tournament to crown the first IWS tag team champions. Anthony Tonin aka TNT of the team “Heavy Explosives” and Hardcore Ninja Number Two were both injured during the tournament, so their partners, Heavy Maxx Fury and Hardcore Ninja Number One formed an alliance of convenience to win the Extreme Dream tournament on March 16th, 2002. At Know Your Enemies 2002, April 20th, 2002, Maxx Fury chose the team of “Green Drugs”, the Green Phantom and PCP Crazy F’N Manny, to defend his half of the IWS tag team titles. The Hardcore Ninjaz won the match and the titles. At Joseph FitzMorris' Tournament of the Icons 3 tournament in Deux Montagnes, June 1st 2002, the IWS set another hardcore record when the Green Phantom defended his IWS title against PCP Crazy F'N Manny in Canada's first ever exploding ring match. The special guest for the tournament was Edward Harrison Leslie Jr. aka Brutus "the Barber" Beefcake. During the second Fans Bring the Weapons match, August 17th, 2002 at Un F’N Sanctioned 2002, Joseph Eubanks aka then CZW owner Lobo made a guest appearance, first teaming with Manny against Steve Royds and the Green Phantom and then turning on Manny to make the match a three on one beat down. The IWS broke the record for most light tubes used in a match that they had set the year before. Also during that show, Rodney Lloyd Anthony Kellman aka Dru Onyx was declared the Number One Contender for the IWS title beginning a long, bloody feud with the Green Phantom for the title. Many IWS fans consider this the best feud in the promotion’s history. A month before Un F’N Sanctioned 2002 at Scarred For Life 2002, July 14th, 2002, the IWS saw the debut of El Generico. Intended as a one-time joke, El Generico became so popular with the fans after one match that he became a permanent fixture, replacing PCP Crazy F’N Manny as the promotion’s most beloved underdog hero. In fact, El Generico beat Manny in a retirement match at Blood, Sweat and Beers 2002, September 21st, 2002. Manny has made sporadic returns to the ring since then, but his time as a full-time wrestler was over. Also changing his role in the company was long-time ring announcer “Iron” Mike Patterson, who became the manager for Hardcore Ninja Number Two after he turned on his brother at Payback’s A Bitch 2002 when the Hardcore Ninjaz lost their tag team titles to Hi-5, Kid Kamikaze and Beef Wellington, in a barbed-wire ladder match. Patterson renamed Hardcore Ninja Number Two: the Evil Ninja. Taking Patterson’s place as ring announcer was Brian Stolovitch aka Brian the Guppie. 2003 saw the IWS beginning to build a name for itself over the Internet with its then weekly live Bloodstream broadcasts. A dramatic photo of Ghyslain Campeau aka Viking being put through an exploding, flaming table by Iceberg and FOD at Freedom to Fight 2003, April 12th, 2003, also brought the promotion attention. Viking established his backstage reputation as a tough guy and a passionate wrestling fan that night, when, after being bandaged at the hospital for his burns, he checked himself out against his doctor’s advice so that he could return for the main event of Freedom to Fight 2003, the Ninja vs. Ninja, Brother vs. Brother, Flesh vs. Steel, No Ropes Barbed Wire match. Body Count 2003, May 17th, 2003, saw the formation of the IWS' most famous stable, le Syndicat de Lutte Internet, a group of French Quebec separatists led by Frederique Lauzon aka Fred la Merveille. Maxime L aka Damian and Viking were Fred's first recruits, but he went on to add Quebec wrestling legend and trainer Marc Pilon aka Marc le Grizzly, as well as Beef Wellington's former girlfriend Elsa Bangz. The SLI, inspired in part by the Hart Foundation, were heels to English fans, but heroes to French fans. Their addition greatly increased the IWS' visibility and popularity amongst French Quebec wrestling fans. Quebec wrestling legend Carl Joseph Yvon Ouellet aka Pierre Carl Ouellet or PCO and his student Kevin Steen made their IWS debuts at Born to Bleed 2003, August 16th, 2003, both to help promote their participation in the upcoming Medley show Un F’N Sanctioned 2003, September 20th, 2003. This show is considered by IWS fans to be one of the IWS' very best shows. The record for most light tubes used in match set at Un F’N Sanctioned 2003 still stands to this day. One of those light tubes was used to take out the Hardcore Ninjaz' manager, “Iron” Mike Patterson, who promptly retired from wrestling. Continuing the balcony dive tradition, Derek Arsenault aka the then IWS champion the Arsenal gave El Generico a Death Valley Driver off the balcony and through five tables. This was voted one of the top ten bumps in North America for 2003. Many wrestling fans consider the three-way dance between El Generico, Kevin Steen and PCO at Blood, Sweat and Beers 2003, October 18th, 2003, to be amongst the very best that the IWS has ever done. It is certainly one of the most important. This is the match that caused IWS fans to nickname Kevin Steen "Mr. Wrestling". A fan cam of this match given to Don Callis got PCO a run in NWA-TNA as the masked "X". He won the first X Division Battle Royal. It also got IWS a Canadian pay-per-view deal with Aaron Weiss' Pro-Wrestling Superstars. The last Skratch show was Season's Beatings 2003, held December 13th, 2003. This lead to a period of wandering for the IWS that resulted in the IWS presenting seven consecutive shows in seven different locations. Quebec wrestling observers noted that some Quebec wrestling federations move once and lose half their audience, while the IWS keeps their audience throughout their travels. Nonetheless, it was a relief to settle down at Unison to finish 2004.The first Unison show was Praise the Violence 2004, January 17th, 2004. PCO won the IWS title from the Arsenal and the SLI won the tag team titles from Quebec City's Extreme Revolution, Nightmare Manson and Crazy Crusher. Unfortunately, a conflict with the Saint-Laurent municipality kept the IWS from returning to Unison until September. As 2004 started, IWS' Bloodstream had shifted from a live weekly show to a monthly show taped to be downloaded on the Internet and played before the shows. US interest in the promotion increased dramatically and led to the IWS being invited to send representatives to CZW's annual Tournament of Death. The Arsenal, the Evil Ninja, the Green Phantom and Sexxxy Eddy were chosen to represent the IWS. The Green Phantom was heavily praised for his vicious brawl with Dylan Keith Summers aka Necro Butcher, but it was Sexxxy Eddy who stole the show, qualifying for the finals despite wrestling the entire tournament in his trademark outfit: red bow-tie, wrestling boots, gold lame thong and nothing else. In a famous moment during his match against the Arsenal, Eddy discovered that he was bleeding from his bicep. To the delight of the blood-thirsty CZW fans, Eddy flexed his bicep and squirted blood into his mouth. Unfortunately, Eddy's injuries prevented him from participating in the finals of the Tournament of Death as the on-site doctors sent him to the hospital as soon as his match with the Arsenal was finished, but that was almost to Eddy's benefit as all anyone could talk about after the show was the Crazy Canuck who drunk his own blood. Sexxxy Eddy's notoriety led to increased opportunities for IWS wrestlers to perform in the United States as Eddy offered to fill his car with IWS wrestlers for bookings with American promotions like Jersey All Pro Wrestling and CZW. At a JAPW show, El Generico and Kevin Steen met and befriended California wrestler Super Dragon. This resulted in an invitation to become part of California's top promotion, Pro Wrestling Guerrilla. The IWS held its Fifth Anniversary show called V on June 15th, 2004 at Le SPAG, a former swimming pool. The wrestling ring on the bottom of the empty swimming pool, and the fans surrounding the ring both inside and outside the empty swimming pool gave the event a dramatic feel. Many IWS fans consider this venue the best that the IWS has ever had. V featured the surprise dramatic return to wrestling of Sid Eudy aka Sid Vicious who had been sidelined since breaking his leg in a gruesome injury during the 2001 World Championship Wrestling pay-per-view Sin. El Generico won the IWS title, beating PCO, but immediately lost it to Kevin Steen. Earlier in the show, Kevin had beaten his long-time rival EXesS earning the right to challenge for the title any time he wanted. The show was filmed for broadcast for pay-per-view in Canada, airing as the fifth episode of Pro Wrestling Superstars. The IWS became the first Canadian wrestling promotion to have its own pay-per-view. Not shown on the pay per view was Beef Wellington's historic match against a bear. At a spot show called Mid-Summer Madness, July 2nd, 2004, put on by Marc le Grizzly, Kevin Steen defended his IWS title in a twenty minute draw against Nuufolau Joel Seanoa aka the then Ring Of Honor champion Samoa Joe. Smart Mark Video began filming IWS events with Freedom to Fight 2004 on September 25th, 2004 with the IWS' return to Unison. This led to a rupture between Aaron Weiss and the IWS. Weiss demanded exclusivity for the IWS footage to show on PPV. Smart Mark Video did not ask for exclusivity. Since sales of IWS DVDs with Smart Marks Video were so brisk that the IWS made more money in one month with Smart Mark Video than they had in six months on pay-per-view, it was an easy choice to make. The arrival of Mike Burns and Smart Mark Video also inadvertently got the IWS dragged into the middle of a promotional war between John Corso aka John Zandig’s CZW promotion, and Pro Wrestling Unplugged run by the Former Backstreet Boyz Johnny Kashmere and Michael Verde aka Trent Acid. Both promotions are based in Philadelphia. When Sexxxy Eddy was injured during CZW’s Tournament of Death, it was Trent Acid who found Eddy and the other IWS stars traveling with him a place to stay for an extra night. In gratitude, Manny invited Trent Acid to come to Montreal for Body Count 2004, August 21, 2004 to wrestle EXesS. Manny planned to make Trent Acid a regular part of the IWS shows. When the promotional war between CZW and PWU erupted, Manny tried to keep the IWS neutral, but when Johnny Kashmere was attacked outside his home, Trent Acid vowed on his hot-line to attack Mike Burns in Montreal in retaliation. Manny had no choice but to inform Trent Acid that his Montreal privileges had been revoked. Another relationship that fell casualty to the new relationship between the IWS and Smart Mark Video was the one between the Arsenal and PCP Crazy F'N Manny. The Arsenal had been the IWS video editor and objected to the presence of Smart Mark Video, saying that he had never been given the proper support to edit the IWS DVDs in a timely manner. Manny was irritated by these complaints, but outraged that the Arsenal would break kayfabe by making the complaints in public on message boards like CZWfans. Manny fired the Arsenal backstage during Freedom to Fight 2004, but not before collecting the highlight reel that the Arsenal had prepared to play before the show. Word of the Arsenal’s firing soon spread among IWS fans prompting chants for him to appear at IWS shows. Manny decided to announce the Arsenal's firing publicly at Seasons Beatings 2004, December 18th, 2004, turning heel in the process. By the time that Manny admitted that he had fired The Arsenal in public, he had already rehired the Arsenal, although he was described as fired for storyline purposes for some time to come. As part of the storyline, Manny went on a firing frenzy giving pink slips to IWS Commissioner Joseph FitzMorris and IWS President Seska amongst others. In Marc le Grizzly's follow-up show to Mid-Summer Madness called New Year's Madness, January 22nd, 2005, Kevin Steen, no longer the IWS champion, fought and lost to Daniel Solwold aka then ROH champion Austin Aries. Kevin Steen became the first wrestler to fight for the ROH title twice before ever wrestling in an ROH show. Franky the Mobster successfully defended his IWS title against Chris Lindsey aka ROH star Roderick Strong. In an odd coincidence, Roderick Strong became the first wrestler ever to fight for the IWS title twice before ever wrestling in the IWS. His previous attempt to win the IWS belt was during the JAPW show Hallowe'en Hell, October 30th, 2004 in Rahway, New Jersey against Kevin Steen. International Wrestling Syndicate As 2005 began, the IWS found itself looking for a new home, forced to cancel its January show at Unison when the new owners of the bar made outrageous last minute monetary demands of the promotion. The IWS tried to move the event to the downtown bar "Le Dome", but concerns that the IWS ring was too heavy for the floor of the second story bar made that impossible. The IWS found a new home at Bar le Break with Breakout 2005, March 5th, 2005. IWS champion Franky the Mobster defended his IWS title against Claude Marrow aka then CZW champion Ruckus in a rare inter-promotional title fight. During Breakout 2005 the IWS announced that it was changing its name from the Internet Wrestling Syndicate to the International Wrestling Syndicate to better reflect its new international presence with IWS DVDs being sold around the world, IWS stars touring all over the world and the IWS being invited to put on a show in Philadelphia as part of a CZW/IWS doubleheader. The IWS returned to the Medley for Un F'N Sanctioned 2005, March 26th, 2005. Super Dragon and Chris Spradlin aka Chris Hero were featured as guest stars. This became, to this point, the IWS best drawing show and fans immediately began arguing whether this show or Un F'N Sanctioned 2003 was the best IWS show ever. The balcony dive tradition continued as both the Arsenal and the Evil Ninja leaped off the balcony during the Fans Bring the Weapons Match. Manny started a tradition that will probably never be repeated when a TV was dropped on his head during the match. Kevin Steen tried to regain his IWS title against his former bodyguard, Franky the Mobster, but failed when Damian dramatically interfered late in the match. The ensuing feud between Kevin Steen and Damian, sparked by Damian’s jealousy over Kevin Steen’s Japanese tour, was voted the 2005 Quebec feud of the year and their two matches were voted as the two best Quebec matches of 2005. The IWS became the first Canadian promotion invited to perform at the historic ECW Arena, Viking Hall, in Philadelphia putting on Freedom to Fight 2005, July 9th, 2005, an experience that Manny compared to "being like a musician being invited to perform at Carnegie Hall." The IWS took advantage of the facility to put on the very first IWS cage match which saw Sexxxy Eddy beat Franky the Mobster, the Arsenal and the Evil Ninja to become the IWS champion for the fourth time. Upon returning to Montreal, the IWS launched a new Extreme Dream tournament to crown an IWS Canadian champion. Despite only making his IWS debut in May, Ontario high-flyer Chris Bishop, the Aerial Assassin, impressed both IWS fans and management on his way to becoming the first IWS Canadian champion. On September 3rd, 2005, the IWS travelled to Gatineau, Quebec just across the river from Ottawa, Ontario, the capital of Canada to present a double-header, the Syndicate Invitational in the afternoon, which featured the best non-IWS wrestlers from Quebec, Ontario and the Northeastern United States and Hardcore Heat 2005 in the evening, which featured IWS stars. CZW star Sabian had the best match in both shows, wrestling Niles Young to a fifteen minute draw in the afternoon and beating Ontario wrestler Lionel Knight in the evening. As 2005 progressed, it became apparent that one of the promotion's new difficulties was the popularity of its stars. El Generico and Kevin Steen were (and are) both in such high demand that it became difficult to coordinate their schedule with that of the IWS. Their absence did allow other IWS wrestlers to grab the spotlight, dramatically so in the case of Viking and Max Boyer who tore the house down during a match against each other at Season’s Beatings 2005, December 3rd, 2005. During the same show, the team of Damian and Beef Wellington were scheduled to face the fan favourite jobber team of the Rock N’ Cock Express, James McGee aka Twiggy and Michael Daponte aka Pornstar Juan. In storyline terms, it was explained that El Generico and Kevin Steen had accepted a booking in California to avoid the harsh Quebec winter and to avoid the harsh team of Damian and Beef. The two frustrated stars began the match by inviting Juan and Twiggy to hit them as hard as they could. In the ensuing stiff-fest Juan had his jaw broken in two places. Blaming Manny for the injury to Juan, Twiggy and Beef began a feud against Manny that brought the IWS owner temporarily out of retirement for a match against Twiggy at Know Your Enemies 2006, March 11th, 2006. When Beef and a returning Juan helped Twiggy win, an outraged Manny challenged Beef to the annual Fans Bring the Weapons match at the Medley for Un F’N Sanctioned 2006, June 3rd, 2006. Manny chose the IWS champion EXesS as his partner; Beef, after a long and funny selection process on Bloodstream, eventually recruited EXesS’ chief challenger for his title, Viking. The feud between EXesS and Viking was voted Quebec feud of the year for 2005. During the build to Un F’N Sanctioned 2006, the IWS changed venues again, moving to Bogey’s World with Praise the Violence 2006, January 28th, 2006. The split with Le Break was amicable however and the IWS returned to do Breakout 2006 there, July 8th, 2006. At first, the IWS was sharing the Bogey's venue with the Championship Wrestling Association promotion, but when CWA owner Andy Rosetti folded the promotion in the fall of 2006, the IWS became the only promotion to put on shows there. PCO and the Green Phantom’s feud, which had seen the two men butting heads off and on since Season’s Beatings 2004, December 18th, 2004, came to a boiling point during Know Your Enemies 2006, March 11th, 2006, in a match where the Green Phantom and PCO were partners against “Paranoid” Jake Matthews and Tomassino. The Green Phantom and special guest referee Dru Onyx, making his first appearance in the IWS in more than two years, both attacked PCO. He challenged the two heavyweights to a match at Un F’N Sanctioned 2006, June 3rd, 2006, and recruited as his partner, Terry Michael Brunk aka hardcore wrestling legend Sabu. This appearance by Sabu was one of his last appearances on the independent wrestling circuit, happening just two days before his re-debut on Raw for the WWE. During the match at the Medley, PCO continued the Medley balcony dive tradition by throwing the Green Phantom off the balcony. Un F’N Sanctioned 2006 became the IWS' best drawing show in the promotion's history. Freedom to Fight 2006, June 17th, 2006 saw the IWS return to Gatineau. Once again presented as part of a double-header, the afternoon show was put on by the IWS’ retarded step-brother Inter-Species Wrestling, a fed that draws its inspiration from promotions like Japan’s Dramatic Dream Team, and US promotions like Chikara, and Kaiju Big Battle, not to mention the career of the IWS’ most colourful performer, Beef Wellington. For Ottawa fans, the highlight of the day was home-town wrestler Player Uno winning the IWS Canadian title. The Summer of 2006 saw the IWS and ISW combine forces again as the two promotions united to present an outdoor show on Montreal’s Ile Ste-Helene as part of the Vans Warped Tour, August 13th, 2006 which they called Warped Summer Vacation. More than 1600 rock and wrestling fans attended the event. The Summer ended with Hardcore Heat 2006, August 26th, 2006, which saw a rare appearance of Kevin Steen. He fought and lost to the IWS champion, Viking, in a brutal brawl that was voted Quebec match of the year for 2006. Beginning with Hardcore Heat 2006, Mike Burns and Smart Mark Video asked to be replaced as the camera crew for IWS events due to repeated hassles crossing the border from the United States to Canada and back. Matt Fortune of Fortune Video, who already taped the ISW events, filled the void. Smart Mark Video continues to distribute the IWS DVDs in the States and around the world. The fall of 2006 saw the retirement of long-time IWS ring announcer and play-by-play man, Brian the Guppie. He was replaced as ring announcer by Joseph Termine aka Joey Soprano and on play-by-play by the owner of the ISW, Michael Rotch. 2007 began with the IWS building towards its annual Medley show, Un F’N Sanctioned 2007, March 24th, 2007. Manny hired William Jason Reso aka the NWA World Heavyweight champion Christian Cage to appear, much to the fans' excitement. To Manny’s disgust however, Christian Cage chose to ignore Manny’s wishes and offer his help to “Canadian Dynamite” Maxime Boyer against Manny’s team of hired thugs, PCO and “Paranoid” Jake Matthews. Also scheduled is IWS champion Viking defending his belt against hardcore wrestling legend Necro Butcher. Many Quebec wrestling fans are already calling Un F’N Sanctioned 2007 the Quebec show of the year, before it even happens. ****************************************************** The IWS proudly presents: Un F’N Sanctioned 2007, Saturday, March 24th, 2007, at the beautiful downtown Medley, 1170 St-Denis, near the Berri-UQAM Metro. Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:30 pm, show starts at 9 pm. VIP tickets are $30, Regular tickets are $25. VIP ticket holders admitted first. VIP tickets are almost sold out so order them today. No reserved seating. Tickets can be purchased online at http://www.ticketpro.ca or in person at the Medley box office. 18+ Card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.syndicatewrestling.com or e-mail [email protected] . The Un F’N Sanctioned Card to date: Dan Paysan will defend his IWS Canadian title Battle of 2.0: Jagged vs Shane Matthews Quebec Rules Match: Fred la Merveille vs. Shayne Hawke IWS Tag Team Title match: Mean and Green (Dru Onyx and the Green Phantom) vs. the Hardcore Ninjaz IWS Title match: Viking vs. Necro Butcher NWA World Heavyweight champion Christian Cage and “Canadian Dynamite” Maxime Boyer vs. Pierre Carl Ouellet and “Paranoid” Jake Matthews

Thanks for the support brother. Yep, I'm the IWS writer in residence. We changed the name from Internet to International partly because we were selling our DVDs all over the world, partly because Steen, Eddy and El Generico were going on tours all over the world, partly because we were invited to go to Philly as part of a CZW/IWS doubleheader, but mostly because I was tired of people thinking that we were an e-fed. Actually, some people still think that because they refuse to believe that anyone would run some of the angles/gimmicks that we have done. (Most recently, people refused to believe that Eddy came out to/with his "Dick in a Box" until I offered photographic proof.) Most of my WWWM's are shills, I cheerfully admit it, but they do have a sort of theme first of trying to legitimize (sp?) wrestling by putting into the same context as other pop culture elements mainly films, and also reminding people that wrestling is a living history, that there is a connection between guys like Twiggy and Juan and the Mulkeys. At least that's what I hope that I do.

When We Were Marks A Cinderella Story This crowd has gone deadly silent, a Cinderella story outta nowhere. Former greenskeeper and now about to become the Masters champion. - Carl Spackler, Caddyshack It's no joke, pal. People die in fairy tales all the time. - Max Baer, Cinderella Man Professional Wrestling is an industry, and arguably an art form, that is based on a foundation of lies. Not that there is anything wrong with that; all art forms are built on lies, usually with the hope of revealing a greater truth. When I am asked to justify the place of wrestling within the arts community in Montreal, I usually contrast wrestling to improvisational comedy. Improv takes theatre and attempts to transform it into a sport - creating theatre sports. Professional wrestling takes sport and attempts to transform it into theatre - creating sports theatre, or if you prefer the McMahon version, sports entertainment. When other art forms tackle sports, when they try to create a sports mythology, no trope is as used (and abused) as the mythology of the underdog. Two films, both from 1976, share the blame for this setting the pattern for the underdog sports individual (Rocky) and the underdog sports team (The Bad News Bears). While Rocky is considered the better movie, it is The Bad News Bears that is more influential, laying out the blueprint of the completely hopeless team filled with “a buncha Jews, Spics, Niggers, pansies, and a booger eatin' moron!” according to Tanner Boyle. Led by an alcoholic ne’er-do-well coach, the team rallies together and with the addition of the coach’s feisty daughter as their star pitcher and a juvenile delinquent as their star outfielder and slugger, goes from losing their first game 18-0 to the “second-worst team in the league” to making the league finals, before losing on the last play of the final championship game at home plate. There is almost an industry of kid’s sport films based on this blueprint with The Mighty Ducks franchise being an especially good example of Grand Theft Script. Even a quality film like A League of Their Own swipes The Bad News Bears formula with its alcoholic coach and its dramatic ending at home plate. What sets A League of Their Own apart from other copiers of the formula is that it is using the underdog blueprint on a Meta level. The true underdog of the film is not the Rockford Peaches or the Racine Belles, but the entire All-American Pro Girls League. The winner of the AAPGL World Series is not half as important as the survival of the league itself, although true to The Bad News Bears formula, the survival of the league is a temporary victory as the league folds in 1954. Pluck or “Fighting Spirit” will only carry you so far. Many copiers of the underdog formula forget the endings of Rocky and The Bad News Bears. Both Rocky Balboa and the Bears lose. Rocky cushions us from the disappointment of the loss by having Rocky define his goal not as a victory over Apollo Creed, but as “all I wanna do is go the distance.” Turning his loss into a kind of victory. In a similar vein, films such as Rudy or We Are Marshall or the recent bookend to Rocky, Rocky Balboa, allow their characters to achieve victory by redefining victory. Rudy just wants to dress one game for Notre Dame and to run through the tunnel, the two plays that he gets to make far exceeds his expectations; the staff, students and athletes of Marshall University, and the citizens of the surrounding town of Huntington, West Virginia, shattered by the grief of a terrible plane crash that claimed the lives of virtually the entire football program and many of its boosters, just want to rebuild the football program and play competitively in the first home game following the plane crash; Rocky Balboa just wants to, once again, go the distance against the world champ, ending the series the way that it began. All of these films share a wisdom in acknowledging that courage, that “fighting spirit” can only take you so far. At a certain point talent and athleticism is necessary to carry you to an ultimate victory. Films such as The Mighty Ducks or Hardball or The Big Green or their ilk are not just built on lies, they deny the greater truth that the underdog can win for a time, but they can’t win forever. Wrestling may be built on a foundation of lies, but it acknowledges this greater truth. The industry is not shy to tell underdog stories, but no underdog ever wins forever, and the true underdogs are content with limited victories. The Brooklyn Brawler is not looking to become World Heavyweight Champion, he just wants one victory against Triple H for the insult of the Game calling him “the bottom of the WWF.” Probably the most famous underdog victory in the history of wrestling is a limited victory: the story of the Mulkeys, Mulkey-Mania. In an age of ego and hubris, it seems hard to believe that there were once craftsmen who took pride in losing and losing well and losing all the time. In much the same way that Vincent Price took a craftsman pride at playing the consummate villain, Bill and Randy Mulkey took pride at being the ultimate fall guys, the perennial jobbers, boasting at one point a record of 0-180, almost the exact opposite of Bill Goldberg’s victory streak. The WCW of the time had a prestigious event called the Jim Crockett Sr. Memorial Cup, a two day tag team tournament featuring the top twenty-four teams in the world and that memorialized the late promoter. In early 1987, the Mulkeys were given a chance to qualify for the tournament against the Gladiators, “the West Coast tag team champions.” When the Mulkeys won, WCW commentator, David Crockett, called the reaction of the crowd “Mulkey-Mania”. That victory has become a symbol for the underdog finally triumphing after years of losing. It was, of course, a limited victory. The Mulkeys were eliminated in the very first round of the tournament, but it almost does not matter. Most wrestling fans have heard of Mulkey-Mania even if they have only a hazy idea of who the Mulkeys were, few wrestling fans could tell you who won the tournament that their victory qualified them for (Dusty Rhodes and Nikita Koloff, featuring an emotional moment when Magnum TA made an appearance after his career-ending car accident to lend moral support to Rhodes and his old adversary Koloff); even fewer who beat them in the tournament (Denny Brown and Chris Champion); and even fewer still who the Gladiators were (George South and Gary Royal). It is important to make a distinction between the story of the underdog and the story of revealed excellence. The difference between Cinderella and the Princess and the Pea. When Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio Jr won the World Heavyweight title, it was not the victory of the underdog so much as the recognition that for years they had been the best wrestlers on the planet, even if they did not fit the physical ideal for what a World Heavyweight Champion should look like. There story is less Rocky and more Glory Road, the story of athletes who finally overcame a physical prejudice (albeit in the case of Benoit, Guerrero and Mysterio a prejudice against their size and shape, and not their skin colour) and were given an opportunity to prove that they were champions. In wrestling, true underdogs do not win titles. They are satisfied with moral victories. Like the Mulkeys for whom just qualifying for the Crockett Cup was a victory larger than they could ever have dreamed of. In the International Wrestling Syndicate, our Mulkeys are called the Rock N’ Cock Express, Twiggy and Pornstar Juan. Twiggy and Juan were both trained by Beef Wellington and polished by Fred la Merveille (with some help from Beef’s then roommate El Generico). In Fred’s MWF promotion, these two young men were most often adversaries, usually as part of the broader rivalry between Fred and Beef, with Twiggy taking Beef’s side and Juan taking Fred’s. Twiggy made his initial debut in the IWS at Violent Valentine 2004 in a gauntlet match where he mainly served as a missile for the Green Phantom. Twiggy made his re-debut in Pornstar Juan’s first match in the IWS, when the two men faced off against one another in a “dark” match at Know Your Enemies 2005. The two young men were first combined as a tag team called “the Broomboys” the following month in a “dark” match against 2.0 during Scarred for Life 2005. (In normal wrestling terms, a dark match is a match put on in front of a live audience before the filming of a pay-per-view show. It is called dark because the cameras are not filming. In the context of the IWS, dark matches were a match used to warm up the crowd before the start of the show, usually involving new wrestlers being given a low-pressure opportunity to perform in front of our sometimes-demanding crowd. The matches were filmed by Smart Mark Video, but no commentary was done for them.) Almost immediately, the Rock N’ Cock Express connected with the fans, aided immeasurably by their music, Bon Jovi’s Living On a Prayer. But the best theme music in the world and all the fan support in the world, can not buy you a victory when your combined team weight is barely 280 pounds, with Twiggy’s listed weight of 130 pounds only being met when he carries a twenty pound brick in his back pocket. The defining moment of the Rock N’ Cock Express’ career came when they were used as cannon fodder against the team of Beef Wellington and Damian, during Season’s Beatings 2005. The two bigger, more experienced stars were embroiled in a feud with Kevin Steen and El Generico. When those two chose to flee the harsh Quebec winter to wrestle in California’s Pro Wrestling Guerrilla promotion rather than face Beef and Damian, Twiggy and Pornstar Juan were drafted to replace the California duo. Frustrated, Beef and Damian gave Twiggy and Pornstar Juan several free shots, encouraging them to hit as hard as they dared. In the ensuing stiff-fest, Damian broke Juan’s jaw in two places, putting him on the injury list for nearly six months. The secret to Twiggy is that he may be the smallest man in Quebec wrestling, but he is also arguably the smartest. As an example, part of Twiggy’s ring gear for more than a year after his debut was a huge battery operated clock worn as a necklace ala Flavor Flav of Public Enemy. When Twiggy challenged IWS Owner PCP Crazy F’N Manny to a match at Know Your Enemies 2006 to exact revenge for booking him and Juan against Beef and Damian, we all expected Manny to kick Twiggy’s ass right from the opening bell. After all, Manny is almost literally twice Twiggy’s size. When Twiggy cracked his clock over Manny’s head, we were all stunned that Twiggy had carried a weapon for that long for just such an emergency. A weapon concealed in plain sight. Twiggy went on to win the match, but only with a huge assist from Beef Wellington, Twiggy’s victory over Manny becoming part of the larger tapestry of Beef’s feud with Manny, in much the same way that the Brooklyn Brawler’s victory over Triple H was part of the larger feud between the Rock and Triple H. When Pornstar Juan returned to active wrestling to team with Twiggy at Scarred for Life 2006, he and Twiggy had an opportunity to qualify for a match at Un F’N Sanctioned 2006, the biggest show of the Quebec wrestling year. In Quebec, it is the independent wrestling equivalent of earning a match at Wrestlemania. All they had to do was last ten minutes in the ring with the two heavyweights Tomassino and “Paranoid” Jake Matthews. Again Twiggy was helped by timely interference, first by Tomassino and Matthews cocky manager Joey Soprano and then by the run-in of The Missionaries of Violence, Sexxxy Eddy and Lufisto. Fitting the concept of limited victories, at Un F’N Sanctioned 2006 during a four team scramble elimination match, The Rock N’ Cock Express were eliminated by Tomassino and Jake Matthews in 10:30, lasting only thirty seconds longer in the ring than they did in the match to get to Un F’N Sanctioned 2006. The Rock N’ Cock Express recently finished a feud with Above Standards, Carl Choquette and Eric Lauze, a team of losers loathed as much as The Rock N’ Cock Express are beloved. Pitting those two teams together is a bit like colliding matter and anti-matter. Neither team has any business winning a match, any match, but someone has to win. When the Rock N’ Cock Express finished their feud with Above Standards at Season’s Beatings 2006 with a win, it gave them momentum and a rare opportunity to qualify for an IWS tag team title shot. All they had to do was win a four team elimination match at Praise the Violence 2007 against the Super Smash Brothers, Player Uno and Stupefied; Team Checkmate, Lionel Knight and Chris Bishop; and the mobbed and dangerous team of Franky the Mobster and Kevin Steen. Twiggy and Pornstar Juan played it smart, avoiding the fight for most of the match and allowing the other teams to eliminate each other. Franky and Kevin eliminated the Super Smash Brothers with relative ease, but had slightly more difficulty with the hit and run team tactics of Team Checkmate. When Steen and Franky realized that they only had Twiggy and Juan to beat, the two men relaxed and began acting like two large cats toying with two scrawny mice. In a modernized remake of Mulkey-Mania, Juan kicked Franky in the balls, forcing the Mobster to his hands and knees behind Kevin Steen, just as Twiggy hit Kevin with a top rope cross body block. Kevin tripped over his partner and both Twiggy and Juan piled on for the pin and the miraculous victory. On February 17th at Violent Valentine 2007, Twiggy and Pornstar Juan will get the title shot that they earned against the IWS Tag Team Champions, Mean and Green, Dru Onyx and the Green Phantom. By himself, the Green Phantom is a physical match for the Rock N’ Cock Express. Take away Twiggy’s twenty-pound brick as ballast and the Green Bully probably weighs as much as Twiggy and Juan combined. As for Dru Onyx, the man who prides himself on being the 21st century reincarnation of Abdullah the Butcher? His right leg probably weighs more than Twiggy and Juan combined. Will the Cinderella story of Twiggy and Juan continue? Will they do the impossible and win the IWS tag team titles? Well, no. The Bad News Bears lost their league championship; the AAPGL folded in 1954; Rocky lost to Apollo Creed; Marshall University had the worst record in NCAA football for a decade following the plane crash; and Twiggy and Pornstar Juan will not win the IWS tag team titles. Asking if they will win is not even the right question. The right question would be: Will they survive the attempt? Max Baer got it right in Cinderella Man, “People die in fairy tales all the time.” The You-Tube clip of the Mulkeys beating the Gladiators can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=za-YNZ4vTOQ I talked in more detail about the movies Rudy, We Are Marshall and Rocky Balboa and how their underdog stories are fuelled by grief in a film review column entitled: Grief in the American Sports Film. It can be found here: http://the-w.com/thread.php/id=31715

Christian Cage is Canadian and he’s Dynamite! International Wrestling Syndicate owner PCP Crazy F’N Manny had a simple plan for the IWS show of the year Un F’N Sanctioned 2007, March 24th at the Medley in downtown Montreal. Pierre Carl Ouellet and NWA World Heavyweight champion, Christian Cage, would team together to teach a lesson to Viking and “Canadian Dynamite” Maxime Boyer. Only three people stood in Manny’s way: Viking, Boyer and to Manny’s shock Christian Cage. First, Viking ruined Manny’s plans by successfully defending his IWS title against “Paranoid” Jake Matthews in a barbed wire boards match. Manny switched to Plan B: announcing that Viking would have to defend his IWS title at the Medley against hardcore wrestling legend Necro Butcher. Viking accepted the challenge saying that he would prove that French Quebecois could be as hardcore as anyone in the world, and then he told Manny that Boyer had a surprise for him. Boyer spoke live from the Chikara Trios tournament where Manny had sent him to represent the IWS (and keep him from helping Viking keep his title.) Boyer challenged PCO and Paranoid Jake Matthews to a match at the Medley. When Manny demanded to know who Boyer was going to find to be his tag team partner, Boyer who refers to himself in private as “Le Peep Numero Un de Quebec,” smugly announced that Christian Cage had agreed to be his tag team partner. Violent Valentine Results Quick and Dirty Saturday, February 17th, 2007 Bogey’s World, Montreal, Quebec, CANADA IWS Canadian Title Match: Dan Paysan vs. Stupefied Dan Paysan defended his title pinning Stupefied after 8:51 with the Canolli Crusher. Hi-5 (Kid Kamikaze and Beef Wellington) vs. the Hardcore Ninjaz Hi-5 double pinned the Evil Ninja after 14:00. EXesS Open Challenge: EXesS vs. Stefany Referee Yan stopped the match due to excessive violence to Stefany after 9:54. Fred la Merveille and Kenny the Bastard vs. Shayne Hawke and Above Standards (Carl Choquette and Eric Lauze) Fred & Kenny double pinned Choquette and Lauze for the win at 9:54. Sexxxy Eddy vs. PCO PCO beat Eddy with two Peace-liners after 6:23. IWS Tag Team Title Match: The Green Phantom vs. the Rock and Cock Express (Twiggy and Pornstar Juan) The Green Phantom pinned both Twiggy and Juan for the win after 6:12. Barbed Wire Boards - IWS Title Match: Viking vs. Paranoid Jake Matthews Viking defended his IWS title pinning Jake Matthews after 10:28. **************************************************** Detailed Results Violent Valentine began with Dan Paysan, as Joey Soprano refers to him, “the IWS Italian-Canadian champion,” defending his gold against the 2006 IWS Rookie of the Year, Stupefied. Dan came to the ring draped in gold – he is now the champion of four different promotions. Stupefied did not allow this display to intimidate him however, giving Dan Paysan everything that he could handle, including a breath-taking dive to the outside when Dan had rolled out to catch his breath. In the end, Dan’s experience was just enough to beat Stupefied’s enthusiasm as the Dapper Don won the match with the Canolli Crunch after 8:51. After the match, Dan Paysan vowed to defend his IWS Canadian Title against anyone. Originally, Hi-5, Beef Wellington and Kid Kamikaze were scheduled to face Team Checkmate, Lionel Knight and Chris Bishop. Unfortunately, Ontario’s top tag team were trapped in a snow-storm and could not make it to Quebec. Beef announced that they had ten seconds to make it to the ring or he would declare the match a count-out victory for Hi-5. With two seconds left, the Hardcore Ninjaz music (and the Hardcore Ninjaz) hit the ring. Despite wanting nothing to do with Beef Wellington, Kid Kamikaze was able to rekindle some of the old Hi-5 tag team magic to win a surprising victory over the Hardcore Ninjaz after 14:00. Give a big assist to the IWS tag team champions, Mean and Green, Dru Onyx and the Green Phantom, who dragged Hardcore Ninja Number one from the ring to the outside and broke him open the hard way while the Evil Ninja was being double-teamed and double-pinned on the inside of the ring. I should probably also mention that Kid Kamikaze is the early front-runner for the 2007 wrestler with freaky submission moves that not even Mike Quackenbush has names for. ExesS continued his open challenge series by taking on Quebec joshi Stefany in a match that was a physical display of pure brutality. Stefany has fighting spirit and an admirable sense of technique as on several occasions she was inches away from securing either a guillotine choke or a triangle choke on EXesS. Each time however EXesS was able to grab the ropes and break the hold. After EXesS lowered his knee pads to drop successive swinging double knees into Stefany’s chest, referee Yan stopped the fight at 9:54, judging that Stefany could no longer defend herself. After she was carried to the back, the IWS fans surrounded the ring and pounded the mat chanting her name in respect. Kenny the Bastard made his triumphant return to the IWS last night, to the delight of the fans, coming to the aid of Fred la Merveille in his handicap match against Shayne Hawke and Above Standards (Carl Choquette and Erc Lauze). Kenny did not miss a step in his return hitting the terrible trio with all the high-flying speed that made him a favourite of the fans in the first place. Much to Shayne Hawke’s disgust, Fred and Kenny were able to double pin Above Standards for the win after 9:54. After the match, Shayne Hawke challenged Fred to a match, any match, at the Medley. Initially, Fred suggested a No Ropes Barbed Wire Match. Shayne was much relieved when Fred said that he was joking. Instead Fred chose a Quebec Rules match. We have not seen a Quebec Rules match since Fred’s match against Beef Wellington at the 2004 Medley show Know Your Enemies 2004, which included rules against pile drivers and ass punches. We will have to see how Fred will define Quebec Rules this time around. Personally, I’m campaigning for a no red-heads rule. Maudit Roux. Sexxxy Eddy came to the ring and complained that IWS management had forgotten to book him for a match at Violent Valentine. After stripping for the mother of IWS super-fan Violent Ray, who had been brought to the show as a Valentine’s Day gift from her son, Eddy somewhat regretted his complaint as IWS management sent out PCO to face Eddy. Using his speed, Eddy was able to keep the match competitive and had a chance to win, stolen from him when Manny’s personal assistant D-Vyne distracted referee Yan. Manny then distracted Eddy long enough for PCO to load up not one but two Peace-liners for the win after 6:23. Twiggy and Pornstar Juan’s miracle run came to an end against Mean and Green, but not before the Rock and Cock Express came within a heartbeat and a prayer of winning the IWS tag team titles. Dru Onyx and the Green Phantom gave Twiggy and Juan an opening when they announced that they would even up the odds by making the match a handicap match. Onyx said that since he has lost the coin flip in the back, the Green Phantom would defend the belts by himself. Onyx still got involved in the match until Yan had enough and sent Onyx to the back to fan chants of “Racist Ref” The Hardcore Ninjaz also got involved in the match, but the Green Phantom was able to withstand their sneak attack and get the pin on both Twiggy and Juan at 6:12. After winning the match, the Green Phantom called out the Hardcore Ninjaz who attacked him with burning kendo sticks. My Japanese is a little rusty, but I interpreted that as a challenge for a tag team title match at the Medley. Maybe my Japanese is not so bad, because that is exactly the way that the Green Phantom interpreted it, and he accepted their challenge. We know that their will be no Fans Bring the Weapons match this year at the Medley due to issues with the venue, but maybe we will see a Ninjaz Bring the Weapons match. In the main event, Viking was able to defend his IWS title despite not knowing that it would be a Barbed-Wire Boards match until the start of the match. Viking took an absolute pounding in the match including being thrown to the outside through a barbed wire board propped on a chair fort, but “Paranoid”: Jake Matthews wasn’t able to put Viking away. When Manny sent PCO into the ring in frustration, the move backfired as Viking ducked the Peace-liner and then pinned Jake Matthews at 10:28, after the two big men collided. The IWS proudly presents: Un F’N Sanctioned 2007, Saturday, March 24th, 2007, at the beautiful downtown Medley, 1170 St-Denis, near the Berri-UQAM Metro. Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:30 pm, show starts at 9 pm. VIP tickets are $30, Regular tickets are $25. VIP ticket holders admitted first. VIP tickets are almost sold out so order them today. No reserved seating. Tickets can be purchased online at http://www.ticketpro.ca or in person at the Medley box office. 18+ Card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.syndicatewrestling.com or e-mail [email protected] . Un F’N Sanctioned Card to date: Dan Paysan will defend his IWS Canadian title Battle of 2.0: Jagged vs Shane Matthews Quebec Rules Match: Fred la Merveille vs. Shayne Hawke IWS Tag Team Title match: Mean and Green (Dru Onyx and the Green Phantom) vs. the Hardcore Ninjaz IWS Title match: Viking vs. Necro Butcher NWA World Heavyweight champion Christian Cage and “Canadian Dynamite” Maxime Boyer vs. Pierre Carl Ouellet and “Paranoid” Jake Matthews Our retarded little step-brother, Inter-Species Wrestling, will be hosting a show called Slamtasia, Saturday, March 3rd, 2007 at Bogey’s World Bar & Billiard, 3250 Cremazie East (corner of Cremazie and St-Michel near the St-Michel metro), Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:00pm, show starts at 8:00pm, tickets are $10. No reserved seating. 18+, card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.beyondthebarn.org or e-mail [email protected] . Our DVDs for each show are released through www.smartmarkvideo.com . Our most recent release is Praise the Violence 2007 http://www.smartmarkvideo.com/cgi-bin/stor...str=HOME:iwsdvd . Our best-selling DVD from last year is Un F’N Sanctioned 2006 featuring Sabu’s last match in the indies before his re-debut on Raw (two nights later) as well as the crazy hardcore Fans Bring the Weapons match http://www.smartmarkvideo.com/cgi-bin/stor...str=HOME:iwsdvd .

Pac's nickname is "The Man that Gravity Forgot" His match against El Generico was voted "Best Match of 2006" by thw readers of socaluncensored.com

To Remove Viking Use Shovel The biggest independent wrestling event of the Canadian wrestling calendar is less than a month away and only one thing disturbs International Wrestling Syndicate owner PCP Crazy F’N Manny. The fly in his ointment, the one doing the backstroke in his soup is the IWS champion, Viking. Manny has big plans for Un F’N Sanctioned 2007, March 24th at the downtown Montreal Medley, and they do not include Viking as champion. To solve this problem, Manny has turned to the shovel-waving maniac, “Paranoid” Jake Matthews, and given him a title shot for Violent Valentine 2007 on February 17th. Normally a champion has a built-in advantage in a title defence, but in this case Viking will be fighting uphill. His only ally, “Canadian Dynamite” Maxime Boyer, will be a thousand miles away, sent by Manny to represent Team IWS with 2.0 (Shane Matthews and Jagged) in the CHIKARA Trios tournament. Jake Matthews, on the other hand, will be backed up by Manny, by his manager, Joey Soprano, by his valet, Lollipop, not to forget his trusty shovel. In addition, the title match will be fought under a mystery stipulation chosen by Manny and kept secret from Viking. Jake Matthews has been training all month to prepare for the match with full knowledge of the stipulation. Viking will find out the same time as the fans, at the beginning of the main event, next Saturday. As the IWS historian and timekeeper, I am supposed to be unbiased and objective. So without bias and objectively, let me say that this situation sucks. Viking has done nothing less than bleed for the IWS. He, rather famously, was once set on fire in the IWS. For his loyalty, for his passion, for his sacrifice, Viking is rewarded by his boss with a knife in the back. As for Jake Matthews, how do I REALLY feel about him… Only You-Tube knows for sure: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gpY-AkRJDc *************************************** Violent Valentine Preview Quick and Dirty Saturday, February 17th, 2007 Montreal, Quebec, CANADA Bogey’s World, 3250 Cremazie East, (Corner of Cremazie and St-Michel, Near Metro St-Michel) IWS Title Match (Mystery Stipulation): "Paranoid" Jake Matthews vs. Champion Viking IWS Tag Team Title Match: Number One Contenders Rock N' Cock Express (Twiggy and Pornstar Juan) vs. Champions Mean and Green (Dru Onyx and the Green Phantom) IWS Canadian Title Match Stupefied vs. Champion Dan Paysan EXesS Open Challenge Match: EXesS vs. Stefany Hi-5 (Beef Wellington & Kid Kamikaze) vs. Team Checkmate (Chris Bishop & Lionel Knight) *************************************** Violent Valentine Detailed Preview With the IWS’ biggest show of the year just around the corner, many wrestling fans are excited to attend Violent Valentine 2007 if only to find out what part NWA World Heavyweight champion, Christian Cage, will play at Un F’N Sanctioned 2007, and what other guests and matches that they can expect at the Medley on March 24th. They will also be lining up to buy tickets for Un F’N Sanctioned 2007, the one time that they can buy VIP tickets without paying taxes or service fees. IWS trainer EXesS has been indulging in an open display of his sadistic nature in the IWS of late, dragging rookies to the ring and putting them through a humiliating open try-out in front of the IWS audience. EXesS’ latest victim, excuse me opponent, is scheduled to be Quebec female wrestler, Stefany. She may be one of the most popular Joshi’s in the province of Quebec, but I notice that when EXesS decided to challenge a woman to fight him in the ring, that he did not challenge Vanessa Kraven who is taller, more massive, and arguably stronger than EXesS. Despite losing a match to Vanessa Kraven for the “Kustody of Kid Kamikaze”, Beef Wellington was able to talk IWS management into booking him and his “Best Friend Forever” into a match against Ontario’s top tag team, Team Checkmate, Lionel Knight and Chris Bishop. A fuming Kid Kamikaze made it quite clear that he has no interest in a reunited Hi-5, but he also intends to win the match, and fully expects to do so without any help from Beef Wellington, “the same way that I used to win all of our matches when I was dumb enough to team with Beef by choice.” The IWS Canadian Champion, Dan Paysan, or as Joey Soprano refers to him, “the IWS Italian Canadian Champion,” will be laying his collection of gold on the line against the 2006 IWS Rookie of the Year, Stupefied. Dan, presently the champion of four different wrestling promotions across Canada, decided to give the rookie the chance for gold that Dan never had when he was the IWS rookie of the year in 2004. That does not mean that Dan intends to make it easy for Stupefied to take his belt away. “I’m a fighting champion,” declared the Dapper Don, “Not a losing champion!” The Rock N’ Cock Express, Twiggy and Pornstar Juan, registered a miraculous win at Praise the Violence 2007 to qualify for a title shot against the IWS tag team champion, Mean and Green, Dru Onyx and the Green Phantom, causing some fans to compare Twiggy and Juan’s victory to the Mulkeys’ famous victory over the West Coast tag team champions, the Gladiators, to qualify for the Crockett Cup tag team tournament. (Actually, it may have just been me in my latest IWS profile, When We Were Marks: A Cinderella Story. It can be found here: http://the-w.com/thread.php/id=31976 ) I am supposed to believe or profess to believe that on “Any Given Sunday” or Saturday, that any team or individual can win any match in the IWS. Yeah. Twiggy and Juan are not going to win. In fact, they will be lucky to survive the match. All my belief is too busy tied up in the chances of our IWS Champion, Viking. I believe that he can overcome the many hurdles that Manny has placed in front of him, beat Jake Matthews and defend his IWS title, yet again. I believe that he can. I fear that he won’t, but I believe that he can. Also in action during Violent Valentine 2007 will be Pierre Carl Ouellet, Fred la Merveille, Sexxxy Eddy and many other IWS stars. For more detailed information on the matches announced for Violent Valentine 2007, consult my daily announcements for the gala: Strong Style Typings. It can be found here: http://the-w.com/thread.php/id=31971 The IWS presents: Violent Valentine 2007, Saturday, February 17th, 2007 at Bogey’s World Bar & Billiard, 3250 Cremazie Est (corner of Cremazie and St-Michel near the St-Michel metro), Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:30pm, show starts at 8:30pm, tickets are $20 for VIP, $15 for Regular. 18+, card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.syndicatewrestling.com or e-mail [email protected] . The IWS proudly presents: Un F’N Sanctioned 2007, Saturday, March 24th, 2007, at the beautiful downtown Medley, 1170 St-Denis, near the Berri-UQAM Metro. Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Already signed for Un F'N Sanctioned 2007 is "The Battle for 2.0" between tag partners Shane Matthews and Jagged. NWA World Heavyweight champion Christian Cage will be wrestling in Montreal for the first time in years. Doors open at 7:30 pm, show starts at 9 pm. VIP tickets are $30, Regular tickets are $25. VIP ticket holders admitted first. No reserved seating. Tickets can be purchased online at http://www.ticketpro.ca or in person at the Medley box office or live at our next show Violent Valentine. On tickets purchased at Violent Valentine, the IWS will pay the taxes. 18+ Card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.syndicatewrestling.com or e-mail [email protected] . Our retarded little step-brother, Inter-Species Wrestling, will be hosting a show called Slamtasia, Saturday, March 3rd, 2007 at Bogey’s World Bar & Billiard, 3250 Cremazie East (corner of Cremazie and St-Michel near the St-Michel metro), Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:00pm, show starts at 8:00pm, tickets are $10. No reserved seating. 18+, card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.beyondthebarn.org or e-mail [email protected] . Our DVDs for each show are released through www.smartmarkvideo.com . Our most recent release is Season’s Beatings 2006 http://www.smartmarkvideo.com/cgi-bin/stor...at=&catstr= . Our best-selling DVD from last year is Un F’N Sanctioned 2006 featuring Sabu’s last match in the indies before his re-debut on Raw (two nights later) as well as the crazy hardcore Fans Bring the Weapons match http://www.smartmarkvideo.com/cgi-bin/stor...str=HOME:iwsdvd .