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This is Wrestlemania matches we'd like to see, not matches that are going to happen right? World Title: John Cena vs. RVD Let RVD try to play a heel when he comes back. Have him only go against babyfaces. Let him cheat constantly, but don't do anything that actually makes him look uncool. Then build "heel" RVD vs. "face" Cena with RVD destroying Cena a couple times with chairs to a raucous ovation from the crowd. Finally, in the big match, Cena hits an FU, but RVD kicks out. Then, he gets frustrated, knocks out the referee and goes for a chair only to have it countered into BOOM! a Van Daminator for the three count. WWE Title: Batista vs. Brock Lesnar Brock Lesnar comes back as a surprise entrant at the Royal Rumble, takes everybody out and wins. Then he squashes Batista in about eight minutes finishing him off with the triple powerbomb pin after hitting the F-5. Edge vs. Undertaker Edge can be a smartass and talk about how he had a gothic phase, but he grew out of it six years ago. I kind of like Edge and Taker's boring, so I say just let Edge win. Triple H vs. Kurt Angle These guys can go better than most of the Raw roster and we haven't seen it in a while. Why not? For a change, I say they let both men play tweeners, and then let the fans decide who to cheer for. Kane vs. Randy Orton: Legend Killer match I don't care about the exact stips, but somehow, through either death or retirement, Orton ends Kane's career forever. The character has turned into such an abortion that I'd prefer to never see it again. Shawn Michaels vs. Rey Mysterio This would be a fun little match. HBK can't really do the high-flying stuff worth a shit anymore, but they should still put on a good show. Gauntlet match: Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. jobbers who wouldn't get a PPV bonus otherwise Stone Cold stuns 10 guys and pins them all in three minutes. After the match, he goes too far however, calling Daivari a pussy, and saying that no sand nigger could ever beat Stone Cold's ass. When Daivair points out that they just threw their matches so they could all get PPV bonuses, Austin laughs at their "poor trailer park asses" and then says he could beat them with one hand behind his back. Daivari challenges him to make the match from earlier "best 2 out of 3". After Austin accepts, Daivari proceeds to pin Austin twice in the span of a minute and a half. Hulk Hogan vs. Chris Masters Hogan powers out of the Masterlock only to see the debut of Masters' new death valley driver. The finisher kills Hogan dead on the spot.

Well, I was right about it. In that Toledo was going to kick ass that is. Go me.

That's odd so many people picked UTEP. Toledo's actually a three point favorite tonight, and the way UTEP finished the season, I wouldn't exactly think the Miner bandwagon would be very attractive.

Kind of a slow week, but here are my new rankings anyway. (previous week's ranking in parenthesis) 1. Duke 10-0 (1) 2. Connecticut 8-0 (2) 3. Villanova 7-0 (3) 4. Florida 10-0 (4) 5. Illinois 11-0 (5) 6. Memphis 8-1 (6) 7. Washington 9-0 (8) 8. UCLA 8-1 (11) 9. Oklahoma 6-1 (9) 10. Gonzaga 7-2 (10) 11. George Washington 8-0 (13) 12. Michigan State 9-2 (14) 13. Tennessee 6-0 (NR) 14. North Carolina 6-1 (17) 15. Ohio State 7-0 (22) 16. Maryland 7-2 (18) 17. Nevada 7-1 (19) 18. Boston College 7-2 (20) 19. Indiana 5-2 (21) 20. Louisville 6-1 (7) 21. Texas 8-2 (12) 22. Indiana State 6-0 (23) 23. Bucknell 6-1 (25) 24. Michigan 7-1 (15) 25. Iona 7-0 (NR) I actually wrote down Kentucky for the 25 spot initially, but I felt guilty and changed it. I can't justify putting a solid undefeated behind a team that to lost to Indiana at home by 26. Also, had Louisville higher initially, but couldn't justify putting them ahead of Indiana when they haven't even beaten anyone.

Undertaker is played out as shit. His character's regressed about ten years in the last two, and I don't even like seeing him on the TV screen anymore. I'd honestly go so far as to say that if I'm flipping channels, Randy Orton's probably the only one on the Smackdown roster that will make me stop. His character at least rings true somewhat and seems a little bit real. Everyone else on the roster is either a caricature or a vanilla jobber; Orton's the only one that has any depth whatsoever. The stupid retirement angle last week was goofy as shit, but he pulled it off well enough to keep me interested for five minutes or so.

If I was in charge, I'd have Hardy lose a series of matches to Christian clean and then ditch his ass. They'd actually have a basis for a feud that mainstream fans could remember, and it would be a nice boost for Christian to get some clean wins over what is still somewhat of a "name" superstar. Of course, I don't really watch TNA so what do I know.

All right, first off Billy and Chuck's wedding was great. It's more along the lines of "a good storyline that makes me happy to be a wrestling fan" than a bad storyline that makes me embarrassed too. With that out of the way, I pretty much have stopped watching wrestling. I haven't sat through more than 15 minutes of a Raw or Smackdown since Summerslam, and usually I just forget about them altogether. From 1998 through the early part of 2005, I was a pretty solid fan. I took brief haituses here and there, but I always came back to the product. But now? There's just nothing that entertains me. Smackdown's got so many B-level comedy skits and matches, so little star power, and so little decent writing that it's just unwatchable. Even if I'm stuck watching TV on a Friday night, I'm probably not going to watch it. And on Raw, the flagship show, there hasn't been an interesting storyline or character since Summerslam. Angle and Cena were feuding over nothing, and during the feud, pretty much nothing happened. It was kind of like EWR where you just plug in random cliche angles, but none of them actually lead to anything. When your top face is getting booed, but you can't take the belt off of him because he's the only real main event level face on the whole roster, well then you know you have a problem. At least when HHH held the belt forever, he was remotely interesting. John Cena's a walking embarrassment. I think anyone over the age of 14 that enjoys him is somewhat mentally retarded.

I really think that a lot of people who still watch the WWE don't really realize how far it's fallen. From WM XIV (1998) to WM XVII (2001), there were at least four or five entertaining segments for every one that was really bad, and at least once a month (on average) you'd see something that was really clever and well done, and made you excited to be a wrestling fan. Nowadays, the show's just embarassingly unwatchable. I think that ratio actually works the other way now with five embarrassing segments for every good one. The only thing worthwhile now is the occasional decent match, but the storylines and characters are so bad that you can't get into them at all. Cena's been getting booed for months, has held the title for eight months, and yet he's still the face world champion. Whenever they do get an interesting character (HBK before Summerslam or Batista before WM), they neuter it immediately, and turn it into something that belongs in a children's cartoon. I was a hardcore fan for years, and I sat through a lot of crap, but I just can't bring myself to watch the product anymore. I'll tune to Raw and try to watch it occasionally, but after about two or three minutes of total crap, I can't take it any more. I'm sure you can find a 10 year old kid somewhere that likes every shitty show on television, but that doesn't mean that the WWE's ever going to grow back into the power that it was. Back in the days before shows like 24 and Lost, WWF Monday Night Raw actually was the best action serial on television. But at this point, they're so far behind the curve that I don't see how they could ever catch up.

Leinart sucks. I'm praying to god that the Jets don't take him. Honestly, if I were to list the top NFL prospects on the USC offense, Leinart wouldn't crack the Top 5.

Tell me that looks like a guy who wanted to give up his job.

The other rankings were a little bit rough, and I like to do them the same day of the week as the AP and Coaches poll anyways, so I made some new ones, updated through Sunday's games. (previous week's rank in parenthesis) 1. Duke 9-0 (1) 2. Connecticut 7-0 (3) 3. Villanova 6-0 (4) 4. Florida 9-0 (5) 5. Illinois 10-0 (9) 6. Memphis 7-1 (6) 7. Louisville 6-0 (7) 8. Washington 8-0 (8) 9. Oklahoma 5-1 (10) 10. Gonzaga 6-2 (12) 11. UCLA 7-1 (15) 12. Texas 8-1 (2) 13. George Washington 7-0 (11) 14. Michigan State 7-2 (13) 15. Michigan 7-0 (14) 16. Wake Forest 7-1 (18) 17. North Carolina 5-1 (19) 18. Maryland 7-2 (NR) 19. Nevada 6-1 (16) 20. Boston College 6-2 (20) 21. Indiana 6-2 (25) 22. Ohio State 4-0 (NR) 23. Indiana State 5-0 (24) 24. Iona 7-0 (NR) 25. Bucknell 5-1 (NR)

Mad TV may not be earth-shatteringly hilarious, but at least it's consistently amusing. If I watch it for a half hour, I'll enjoy the show, and there will be at least 2 or 3 skits that are really funny. I don't think I've laughed at anything on SNL in 2 years now. Ever since Will Ferrell left, the show's been a big pile of shit. Jimmy Fallon is the worst "comedian" ever. It doesn't matter if the skit's well-written or not, it doesn't matter if he gets good lines; he'll find a way to butcher everything with his terrible delivery. It always seems like he's trying to act like Chris Kattan, but he can't pull it off because he has no talent whatsoever. He kind of reminds me of Jay Leno in that everyone knows that there are about 1,000,000 people that could do his job better, but for some reason, no one will replace him.

I wouldn't call it very very porous. More like middle of the road. Without Clemens, the Ducks aren't all that explosive anyway. Leaf and Dixon might throw for 250 or 300 combined, but they aren't going to be lighting up the scoreboard or anything. I think that the Sooners really match up well against Oregon.

He will. Oregon's biggest weakness is their run defense, and Peterson should be ready to run the ball 40 or so times after having so much time off between games. The only way Oklahoma loses the game is if they let Bomar throw the ball too much, and Oregon starts picking him off. If Bomar throws 1 INT or less, the Sooners win the Holiday Bowl.

Iowa State's looked solid this year (beating Iowa, N. Iowa, and Drake), and Iona beat them by 17 on the road. The Gaels also beat Rider and Vermont by double digits, so it's not like their whole ranking's based on one game. Do they have a full resume of three or four upper echelon victories? Of course not, but hardly anybody does at this point of the season. The resumes for Iona and Bucknell looked more solid than those for NC State and Xavier so I gave them the spots for now. As for Michigan, it's somewhat of the same principle. They looked really good in victories over Miami and Notre Dame, and I think they're talented, so I gave them the 15 spot for now. Louisville hasn't played anyone all year, and they'll probably be ranked #4 in both polls tomorrow. Kentucky's just an utter mess right now, and if they're ranked in either poll, it will be a joke. They lost to a terribly overrated Iowa team early in the season, and then they just got destroyed by Indiana. With Louisville, Iona, Ohio, and Kansas still to play, they could be 7-7 when they start SEC play.

Texas was never the same last year after PJ Tucker got suspended for the second half of the season. They were a legitimate Top 10 team before that. Even after the bad loss to Duke, I think that the Longhorns will probably still end up with something like a 2 seed by the end of the season. I think they're about like Wake Forest was last year in that they're a solid team that got destroyed by a juggernaut.

No way in hell does Vince Young come back next year. He'll be an early first-rounder in the NFL draft come April. As for next year's Heisman crop, I say: 1. Brady Quinn 2. Lendale White 3. Adrian Peterson 4. Marcus Vick 5. Stevie Hicks You just know that if Notre Dame's anywhere near the national title game, the media's going to be slobbering all over themselves at the chance to give Brady Quinn the Heisman. Also, the key thing to remember about USC is that they have far and away the best offensive line in the country, and on that line Winston Justice is the only senior. With the number of carries White's likely to get next year, he could easily surpass 2000 yards. Stevie Hicks is just my dark horse, because he's a really good back when he's actually healthy, and I think that Iowa State could contend for the Big XII Title next year.

Let's look at some relevant stats (through today's games): *Adjusted FGM= FGM + 3PM * 0.5 *Points per possesion = Pts/(FGA + FTA * 0.5) Adam Morrison Total points: 228 Adjusted FGM: 91 Total FGA: 157 Total FTM: 47 Total FTA: 61 Points per possession: 1.216 JJ Redick Total points: 224 Adjusted FGM: 88 Total FGA: 147 Total FTM: 48 Total FTA: 54 Points per possession: 1.287 Furthermore, JJ Redick's stats have been amassed against much better defensive teams. Seton Hall, Memphis, Virginia Tech, Indiana, and Texas are all tremendous defensive teams, who have been consistently shutting down opponents all year long. Meanwhile, the only tough defensive team that Gonzaga's run into all year is Connecticut, and they held Morrison to 18 points on 8 of 19 shooting. Granted, this just proves that Redick's a better scorer than Morrison, not a better all-around player. Morrison does have a rebounding edge, although this may be more due to his teammates than anything else. If Shelden Williams played for Gonzaga, I'm pretty sure that Morrison would be grabbing a lot less boards. Also, Redick's a tremendous defensive player, whereas Morrison's pretty piss-poor on the defensive end. The bottom line is that Morrison's been throwing up most of the shots for Gonzaga this year against medicore (defensive) competition, and therefore has a lot of points. However, Redick's a much better shooter, a much better scorer, and a much better all-around basketball player. If Morrison was in Redick's position, playing on a loaded Duke team against tough defensive teams night in and night out, he'd be lucky to average 15 points a game, assuming that Coach K didn't bench him for his shitty D.

JJ Redick may not be head and shoulders above the rest of college basketball, but he is head and shoulders above Adam Morrison. All Morrison does is flail around to get cheap calls, and hit an occasional shot. JJ Redick is the best scorer in the country. He's not just a pure shooter anymore either. He drives to the basket, gets to the line, and plays solid defense too. He's never going to be an Allen Iverson type in the pros, but I think that as a #2 option, he'd be a tremendous asset to someone. Put him on the same team as LeBron, and you'll have an offensive team that will wreak havoc for years to come. Really, I don't think there is a better college basketball player than JJ Redick right now. I'm not saying his game doesn't have a couple weaknesses that could be exploited at the next level, but if there's someone better than him in the NCAA right now, I'd like to hear who.

Did anyone hear that fucking CBS announcer trying to say that Adam Morrison is the best player in college basketball. That's bullshit. He's not worthy to polish JJ Redick's ball sac. He makes a lucky banked in three against an unranked OSU team and all of a sudden he's the next Larry Bird? I'm not buying it.

Yeah, I guess everybody that thought Duke "didn't look like a title team" is eating a little crow right now. I slept late after a relatively long night of drinking, so I didn't actually see the game, but from the score, it looks like Texas just got raped. If you think about it, two weapons is all that a team really needs to score the ball if the rest of the team plays good defense and good team basketball. The Chicago Bulls of the mid-90s basically had two weapons in MJ and Scottie, and the Lakers dynasty was all Shaq and Kobe most of the time too. Really, I think the blueprint to beat Duke is the same as it's been for the last two and a half years. Get Shelden Williams in foul trouble, so you can isolate JJ Redick and double team him.

Realized I didn't really know college basketball that well this year, so I decided to look over the resumes of the teams out there, and formulate some rough rankings. It's still too early in the season to really be able to say definitively who belongs where, but it's never too early for idle speculation. With that, here's what I was able to do with this year's teams. 1. Duke 8-0 2. Texas 8-0 3. Connecticut 6-0 4. Villanova 5-0 5. Florida 8-0 6. Memphis 6-1 7. Louisville 4-0 8. Washington 7-0 9. Illinois 8-0 10. Oklahoma 4-1 11. George Washington 5-0 12. Gonzaga 4-2 13. Michigan State 6-2 14. Michigan 6-0 15. UCLA 6-1 16. Nevada 6-0 17. Vanderbilt 5-0 18. Wake Forest 7-1 19. North Carolina 5-1 20. Boston College 6-1 21. Georgetown 3-1 22. Kentucky 6-2 23. NC State 5-1 24. Indiana State 4-0 25. Indiana 4-2 Thoughts?

Yeah, from what I'd seen of Louisville so far this year, they did look overrated, and I made sure to put them a couple spots lower than they are in the actual polls. However, after watching Taquan Dean turn into a stone cold killer during the tournament last year, I decided to give them the benefit of the doubt in the seven spot for now. In the long run, I think they'll end up missing Garcia a lot, and the lack of balance will hurt the offense, but it's really hard to find legitimate Top Ten teams to put ahead of them at the top of the rankings.

Just for the heck of it, here's the Top Ten in the Sagarin rankings right now: 1. Villanova 2. Duke 3. Missouri State 4. Connecticut 5. Florida 6. Nevada 7. Texas 8. Memphis 9. Illinois 10. Washington It's kind of odd to see Missouri State sticking out with the rest of the rankings so normal. Their best win up to this point is either Northern Illinois or Oral Roberts, and they haven't even been blowing out their opponents by all that much. I guess computer rankings are bound to have inaccuracies with this few games played, but I just thought it was an interesting quirk.

I've just given up on arguing with the preseason consensus. Two years ago, I was talking all year about how overrated UConn was and by the end of the year, they were cutting down the nets. Last year, I kept talking about how Illinois was the real deal and it was ridiculous that so many people were trying to put Carolina ahead of them. Well, we saw how that turned out too. This year, I'm just going with the crowd. For the record, I still can't remember Duke losing a big game when Shelden Williams stayed out of foul trouble. They were good enough to win the national title two years ago with Williams and Redick as the top scorers, and after this much maturing in Coach K's system, you have to consider Duke the favorites until someone knocks them off. Obviously, if Texas beats them on Saturday, I'll give them the top spot for now, but I really think that come April, Duke's going to win it all.