WCW Spring Stampede
pre-show: Johnny B. Badd is coming down to the ring when Lord Steven Regal leaps over the security railings and attacks, making his return to the promotion. He beats Badd into the ring. Johnny B. Badd is in trouble. Butterfly Powerbomb!!! That shook the ring. Lord Steven Regal leaves, having made a big impact.
1. Bagwell and Scorpio vs The Thrillseekers.
Match Background: The Thrillseekers are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion.
The Match: Trying to channel the spirit of Misawa, Marcus Alexander Bagwell ends up chanelling Lex Luger instead and nails a running forearm to the face, minus the steel plate, of course. Running knee lift from Marcus Alexander Bagwell. Brutal sit out powerbomb on Jericho! Tag between Chris Jericho and Lance Storm. Lance Storm kicks the leg, knocks Bagwell down, and goes to work on it. Storm charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Marcus Alexander Bagwell hits some punches. How generic. Tag between Marcus Alexander Bagwell and Too Cold Scorpio. Bagwell and Scorpio hook up Storm, then hit a double suplex. Scorpio crushes Storm with a huge legdrop. Tiger suplex on Storm. No Misawa references from me, I swear. Oh, Bloody Hell! Tag to Marcus Alexander Bagwell. Marcus Alexander Bagwell floors Lance Storm...and climbs the turnbuckles. Flying Crossbody!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. The Thrillseekers don't look like they're finished by any means...and they rush forward to attack Bagwell and Scorpio, and send them to the outside. Threats are exchanged as the chaos ends.
My Opinion: A badly blown spot prevents me from giving out more snowflakes. ***3/4
2. Lord Steven Regal vs Johnny B. Badd.
Match Background: Regal and Badd have been feuding for quite some time now. This match is for the WCW TV title. Lord Steven Regal has been WCW TV champion since 24 January 1993.
The Match: Hard impact Russian Leg Sweep by Regal. According to some other reviewers around here, 'legsweep' is one word. Vicious back suplex! Johnny B. Badd got nailed big time! Hooks the leg for a two count. Lord Steven Regal misses a clothesline. Badd just WAFFLES Regal with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Johnny B. Badd hits a rolling kick on Regal. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Hooks the leg for a two count. Northern Lights Bomb very nearly crushes the spine of Regal! Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Spin kick by Johnny B. Badd to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Badd goes for a splash but Regal puts the knees up. Vicious back suplex! Johnny B. Badd got nailed big time! Covers for a quick two count. Northern Lights Bomb very nearly crushes the spine of Badd! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Lord Steven Regal snap suplexes Badd HARD to the canvas! And again! A pair of clotheslines follow and...yep, Regal is a HOUSE...EN...FUEGO~! Badd gets caught with a belly to belly suplex from Regal! Badd reverses a Lord Steven Regal hammerlock. BIG clothesline on Regal. DDT from the top rope by Johnny B. Badd. That looked KILLER. Lord Steven Regal is in trouble. Kiss That Don't Miss! 1....2....3. Johnny B. Badd is still in the ring celebrating. Lord Steven Regal pushes the referee away. Lord Steven Regal spins Badd around. Lord Steven Regal hits the Butterfly Powerbomb!
My Opinion: Let me practice my math. 13 quarter stars equal a ***1\4 rating, right? Yeah, it does. That's what you get.
3. Benoit & Malenko vs Diamond Dallas Page, Scotty Flamingo, and Vinnie Vegas.
Match Background: This will be a 3 on 2 handicap bout. This is a continuation of the Benoit & Malenko vs The Vegas Connection feud.
The Match: Running knee lift from Scotty Flamingo. Flying shoulder tackle by Flamingo sends Benoit CRASHING to the mat. Flamingo goes for a splash but Benoit puts the knees up. Chris Benoit scores with a NASTY spinebuster. Tag between Scotty Flamingo and Diamond Dallas Page. Benoit scoops and slams Diamond Dallas Page. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Benoit almost belly-to-belly suplexes Diamond Dallas Page through the mat. What? It's possible. There's a two count on the pin. Diamond Dallas Page powers out of a Chris Benoit headlock. DDP tags out to Vinnie Vegas. The Vegas Connection whip Benoit into the corner. Vinnie Vegas whips Diamond Dallas Page in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Benoit takes a headbutt from Vinnie Vegas. Fallaway slam by Vinnie Vegas puts down Chris Benoit. There's a two count on the pin. Nice piledriver on Benoit. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Vinnie Vegas scores with a standing spinebuster. Pin, but Benoit is out just before the three count. Vegas tags out to Diamond Dallas Page. The Vegas Connection whip Benoit into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Covers for a quick two count. Trying to channel the spirit of Misawa, Diamond Dallas Page ends up chanelling Lex Luger instead and nails a running forearm to the face, minus the steel plate, of course. Benoit powers out of a headlock. T-Bone suplex by Benoit, DDP got folded in half to the point that he was almost able to fellate himself. Mighty impressive, don't you think? Benoit tags out to Dean Malenko. Benoit & Malenko hook up DDP, then hit a double suplex. Spinning bulldog in the corner and DDP is down! Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag between Diamond Dallas Page and Scotty Flamingo. Malenko hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. Super kick by Dean Malenko. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Malenko goes for a splash but Flamingo puts the knees up. Flamingo tags out to Vinnie Vegas. Flamingo \ Vegas whip Malenko into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Dean Malenko by Vegas. Remember when that was a legit finish? There's a two count on the pin. Tag to Diamond Dallas Page. Massive backbreaker on Malenko and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Brutal sit out powerbomb on Malenko! Malenko blocks a kick from Diamond Dallas Page. Tiger suplex on DDP. No Misawa references from me, I swear. Oh, Bloody Hell! Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Diamond Dallas Page powers out of a Dean Malenko headlock. DDP hits a piledriver on Dean Malenko. That used to end matches, you know. The referee bumps after catching a wild right hand and is down. Dean Malenko knocks DDP to the outside, then signals for the Texas Clover Leaf. He reaches out of the ring for Diamond Dallas Page...and gets clobbered with the ring bell! Right to the head! The referee wakes up to see DDP sliding in and making the pinfall: 1....2....3! Forget about it.
My Opinion: I'll give this a ***1\4 rating. If I left it up to you, you'd probably think it was the greatest match ever! Keep trying...
4. The Great Muta vs Rick Rude.
Match Background: This match is for the WCW US title. The Great Muta has been WCW US champion since 24 January 1993.
The Match: Standing leg lariat by The Great Muta on Rick Rude. Rick Rude counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. The Great Muta just WALKS into a stiff lariat clothesline from Rick Rude. The ref is bumped, as goes down after accidentally getting caught by an elbow to the face. Rick Rude plants Muta with an EXPLODAH~! suplex. Cover, but there's no one to count for Rick Rude! Rick Rude goes for a splash but Muta puts the knees up. Muta uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! SUPER frankensteiner on Rick Rude, who hit hard. There's a two count on the pin. Rick Rude walks into a face crusher variation. Has anyone's face ever really been crushed by one of those though? Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Rick Rude blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Muta walks into a side slam. Think about how much talent it takes to side slam someone. Nash can do it. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Muta reverses a Rick Rude hammerlock. The two competitors end up fighting to the outside of the ring. The referee tells them to bring it back in, but neither of them are listening. The ref tries again, and again they keep brawling. The referee completes a ten count, ending the match in a double count out! The fight has started up again! The Great Muta attacks Rick Rude, and they brawl all around ringside, then into the crowd! They eventually disappear backstage, still fighting.
My Opinion: Consider yourself lucky, a ****1\4 is hard to get and it was earned every step of the way. Let's see if you can do better now.
5. The Hollywood Blondes vs Liger/Sasaki.
Match Background: The Hollywood Blondes are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. This match is for the WCW Tag Team titles. The Hollywood Blondes have been WCW Tag Team champions since 28 March 1993.
The Match: Liger walks into a high dropkick from Brian Pillman, almost losing several teeth in the process. Hard back suplex on Liger. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Covers for a quick two count. Tag to Steve Austin. The Hollywood Blondes hook up Liger, then hit a double suplex. Covers for a quick two count. BIG clothesline on Liger. Liger backdrops Steve Austin out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Jushin Thunder Liger. Lightning kick by Liger on Austin. Covers for a quick two count. Tag between Jushin Thunder Liger and Kensuke Sasaki. Austin takes a quick lariat. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Vertical suplex by Kensuke Sasaki. Sasaki walks into a drop toe hold. Austin slams Kensuke Sasaki down and motions to the crowd. Tag to Brian Pillman. Pillman just WAFFLES Sasaki with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Tag between Kensuke Sasaki and Jushin Thunder Liger. Pillman uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Jushin Thunder Liger slugs Brian Pillman, sending him down into the corner. While Liger fires up the crowd, Pillman is removing the turnbuckle pad! Jushin Thunder Liger comes over...but Pillman grabs him by the tights and uses the leverage to slingshot Jushin Thunder Liger face first into the exposed steel turnbuckle! Brian Pillman rolls up the stunned Jushin Thunder Liger, and even puts his feet on the second rope to add insult to injury! 1....2...3! What a display of cheating from Brian Pillman. Liger/Sasaki look like they aren't done...and they attack The Hollywood Blondes! After an exchange of blows, Pillman and Austin are laid out in the ring.
My Opinion: I'd love to see a rematch and see if they can top this. ****
6. Arn Anderson vs Barry Windham.
Match Background: Anderson and Windham have been feuding recently. Neither has managed to get an in-ring victory in this feud. This match is for the NWA World title. Arn Anderson has been NWA World champion since 24 January 1993.
The Match: Arn Anderson with a spinning neckbreaker on Windham. Ring-shaking body slam on Windham. Hooks the leg for a two count. Windham ducks a wild right hand. Barry Windham hits Anderson. Barry Windham with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Anderson. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. There's a two count on the pin. Flapjack from Windham on Anderson. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Anderson takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Arn Anderson avoids a Barry Windham avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Ring-shaking body slam on Windham. Covers for a quick two count. Impaler DDT by Arn Anderson just SPIKES Barry Windham down! Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Arn Anderson with a spinning neckbreaker on Windham. Anderson slams Barry Windham. Windham reverses a Arn Anderson hammerlock. Anderson gets splashed in the corner. Sloppy discus punch from Barry Windham barely connects on Anderson. Arn Anderson slugs Barry Windham, sending him down into the corner. While Anderson fires up the crowd, Windham is removing the turnbuckle pad! Arn Anderson comes over...but Windham grabs him by the tights and uses the leverage to slingshot Arn Anderson face first into the exposed steel turnbuckle! Barry Windham rolls up the stunned Arn Anderson: 1....2...3! How did the referee not see that? Barry Windham remains in the ring, celebrating the victory.
My Opinion: *** rating for an above average match.
7. Tom Zenk vs Bobby Eaton.
Match Background: This is a continuation of the Zenk vs Eaton feud. So far, Zenk hasn't managed to get a pin or submission over Eaton since the feud started.
The Match: STIFF high kick on Eaton by Tom Zenk. Eaton reverses a Tom Zenk hammerlock. Bobby Eaton strikes Tom Zenk. Bobby Eaton misses a clothesline...and takes out the referee accidentally! Flapjack from Eaton on Zenk. Cover, but there's no one to count for Bobby Eaton! Zenk counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Implant DDT by Tom Zenk! I will always and forever mark out for that move. Zenk crushes Eaton with a huge legdrop. Hooks the leg for a two count. Eaton walks into a face crusher variation. Has anyone's face ever really been crushed by one though? Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Eaton backdrops Tom Zenk out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Bobby Eaton. Bobby Eaton DDTs Zenk, but it just looked terrible. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Zenk counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Tom Zenk has Bobby Eaton down on the canvas and is ascending the corner. Superplex!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. Brian Lee comes running down the aisle with a chair, and gets into the ring! Prime Time hits Zenk with a chair to the back! Tom Zenk goes down to the canvas, hurt.
My Opinion: I'll give a 1\2* rating because they were actually able to hit a couple of spots.
8. Ricky Steamboat vs Big Van Vader.
Match Background: Steamboat and Vader have been feuding recently. Neither has managed to get an in-ring victory in this feud. This match is for the WCW World title.
The Match: STIFF~! chop lights up Steamboat who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! Ricky Steamboat avoids a Big Van Vader avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Standing leg lariat by Ricky Steamboat on Vader. The referee bumps after catching a wild right hand and is down. Tiger suplex on Vader. No Misawa references from me, I swear. Oh, dammit. Cover, but there's no one to count for Ricky Steamboat! Big Van Vader avoids a Ricky Steamboat avalanche by getting out of the damn way! BAAACK Body drop by Steamboat gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Big piledriver on Steamboat. Covers for a quick two count. DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by Big Van Vader just KILLS Ricky Steamboat! Pin, but Steamboat is out just before the three count. Big Van Vader misses a clothesline. Super kick by Ricky Steamboat. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Ricky Steamboat misses a clothesline. Faarooq comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Ricky Steamboat turns around. Faarooq spins Steamboat around. Faarooq hits the Running Powerslam! Faarooq leaves the ring, the damage done! The ref gets into position, administers the three count, and it's over. Big Van Vader pins Steamboat. Big Van Vader smiles and walks over and shakes hands with Faarooq, thanking him for interfering and helping win this match.
My Opinion: I really shouldn't drink when I'm reviewing matches. Especially with Scotsman, I can't drink nearly as much, so I try too hard. It was either ** or ****, but I guess I'll have to compromise and say ***.
