Richard

what's red and blue, 4 ft tall, and sucks my cock? My son in a spiderman costume.

Hey remember Ace of Base?

Styles & Tenay welcome us to another heart-pounding episode of UWE Rage. Styles quickly runs down tonight's card. Tenay then announced that the UWE Board has decided to allow Sid to keep his spot in the Universal Title tournament, provided he defeats Sting & Dustin Rhodes in a handicapped match. 1. Stevie Richards(with Madusa) d. Elix Skipper after Madusa knocked Skipper off the top rope as he was preparing to perform a Twisting Body Press Suicida at 5:12 ** Gene Okerlund interviews Shawn Michaels about tonight’s match with Shamrock. Shawn can’t wait to get his hands on Ken, who will get a sneak preview of what’s in store at First Blood. Styles reminds the viewers to call their cable or satellite company asap to order the show. 2. UWE Television Title Semifinal: Paul London d. Brian Pillman by reverse decision. when Pillman refused to let go of the crucifix armbar w/ neck submission despite London submitting at 8:51 *** The Blue Meanie hosts a talk show called Tangled up in Blue. His guests are JJ Dillon & Dean Malenko. Dillon builds up Malenko as the best technical wrestler in this promotion. Blue Meanie points out that technical wrestling means nothing, as a roided up moron like Sid can be a star. Dillon states that Dean will be the one to make mat skills important again. 3. Shawn Michaels and Ken Shamrock went to a no-contest at 0:54 when Los Borriculas Nuevo (Savio Vega & Carlito Caribbean Cool) ran in and attacked. Savio challenged the men to a tag match tonight. Hardcore Holly comes out claiming to be the most hardcore wrestler in UWE. New Jack comes out to a huge pop to give his rebuttal. They start to brawl when Nathan Jones runs out to attack New Jack. Jones and Holly complete their beatdown and yell at the fans. 4. UWE Universal Title Quarterfinal: British Bulldog d. Randy Savage when Davey caught Randy coming off the top and did a running powerslam for the win at 14:16 **1/2 Sting and Dustin Rhodes are discussing their match in the parking lot when a car comes speeding towards them. They both get out of the way just in time but a pair of barely legal rats aren’t so lucky. Danny Doring runs over to see if they’re not too injured to put out. 5. UWE Television Title Semifinal: Sean O'Haire (Heyman) d. Rey Mysterio at 9:11 when Heyman knocked Rey's foot off the ropes following a Sean-ton Bomb **1/4 A video montage of Jerry Lynn in action plays. Styles promotes Lynn’s UWE debut next week against fellow newcomer Alex Wright. 6. Sid Vicious d. Sting & Dustin Rhodes after Dustin collided with his partner and got powerbombed at 12:21 ** Josh Matthews asks Anderson and Eaton if they knew anything about the hit & run. Eaton pleads innocent and suggests that maybe HBK, Bulldog, or Shamrock.did it. Anderson adds Savage, Chono, and Pillman to the list of suspects, as he doesn’t like them either. 7. Los Borriculas Nuevo d. Shawn Michaels & Ken Shamrock when CCC catches Shamrock, who was arguing with HBK, in a rollup for 3 *** Shamrock and Michaels argue some more and almost get physical when the Patriot runs out to mediate. Next Week: UWE Universal Title Qualifier: Sting vs. Sid TV Title Final: Paul London vs. Sean O’Haire New Jack vs. Hardcore Holly Jerry Lynn vs. Alex Wright

But you forgot the unmentioned cost of having to deal with being called "cretin" the whole night in return. PS requesting Marney/Coulter make-out pics. Thx in advance. Isn't Coulter a huge homophobe? Though with enough booze, anything's possible.

You see, cause Bears are fat hairy gay men.

Is it really worth rooting for the Pack to spite Bush? probably

TB Fuckin'queers Cin. Been Gals Chicago Bears Tennesse Tits Oakland ass-raiders STL BUTT-rams Phi spread eagles NY Giant douches

Washington Foreskins

Tonawanda Kardex

Belushi via the Saturday Night Special (top-rope splash) at 3:02 Willie via the Red-haired Strangler (tazmission) at 6:23 Hasselhoff via chest poke at 0:05 Bruce Campbell via Evil Deadlock at 14:59 Willie Nelson d. John Belushi by reversing a Blues Bomb into a Tax Evader ddt at 8:27 Bruce Campbell d. David Hasselhoff when Pamela Anderson turned on David, giving him a Silicone splash at 11:16 Bruce Campbell d. Willie Nelson with a schoolboy at 13:12 other matches Joey Ramone d. Queen Elizabeth in a kiss my foot match at 7:43 James Hetfield & Dennis Franz d. Sid Vicious (the sex pistol) & Ghandi after Sid went off to kill his wife, leaving Ghandi to "Ride the Lightning" (torture rack) at 12:01

Joey Styles & Mike Tenay welcome us to UWE tv, where wrestling comes first. The UWE Universal Championship, soon to be the biggest prize in the sport, will be decided by two Royal Rumble style battle royals. The last two competitors in each rumble will advance to the semifinals. Rumble #1 begins with Brian Pillman, who receive a decent pop until he starts berating the crowd. The British Bulldog comes out next and the action starts. Sonny Siaki is third, attacking both opponents. Hardcore Holly is fourth and goes after Siaki. Jerry Sags is fifth and helps Siaki attack Holly. Bryan Adams is sixth, going after Pillman. Hardcore Holly is the first elimination, getting tossed by Sags. Bulldog throws out Siaki for the second elim. Test is seventh, going after Davey Boy. Dean Malenko is eighth, saving Pillman from being tossed by Adams. Sags charges Bulldog and falls out to the floor for the 3rd elim. Perry Saturn is ninth, going after Malenko. Sean O'Haire is tenth, going after Bulldog. Paul London is eleventh, quickly knocking out Test for the 4th elim. Carlito Caribbean Cool is twelfth, attacking London. Danny Doring is lucky thirteenth, not entering until the last possible moment. Bryan Adams is sent out by Malenko and Pillman for the fifth elim. Rey Mysterio is fourteenth, splashing Dean. Paul London is tossed by O’Haire for the sixth elim. Bobby Eaton is fifteenth, nearly eliminating Smith. Saturn knocks out Malenko for elim. #7. Bulldog slams CCC over and out for elim. #8. New Jack is sixteenth, content to watch. Christopher Daniels is seventeenth, running into New Jack. O’Haire is ousted by Bulldog for elim. #9. Barry Windham is eighteenth, saving Pillman from Rey and Perry. Eaton and Doring attempt to take out DBS, but Daniels makes the save. Ken Shamrock is nineteenth, as Pillman throws out Mysterio for elim. #10. Ken brawls with New Jack, Daniels duels Doring, Bulldog battles Eaton, Saturn fights Pillman, and Windham remains uncommited. Sid Vicious is twenty, charging Saturn and Pillman. Daniels sends out Doring for elim. #11, only to be tossed by Windham for elim. #12. The Patriot is the final entrant, going after Barry. Sid takes out Saturn for elim. #13. Shamrock and New Jack unite to send out Sid for elim #14. Pillman takes out New Jack. for elim.#15. The Patriot slams Eaton over for elim. #16. Patriot attempts to attack Windham but accidentally hits Davey Boy, who gets tossed for elim.#17. Shamrock weakens Pillman with the ankle lock. Barry throws out Patriot and goes after Shamrock. Windham and Pillman struggle to beatdown Ken, but Windham basically says screw it and throws out Pillman to end the match at 31:16 (***) Shamrock and Windham glare at each other as the announcers promote their semifinal matchup to be fought at the fed’s inaugural ppv, UWE Genesis. Call your cable/satellite providers now. Mean Gene tries to interview Jerry Lynn, but an irate Pillman interrupts to tell the world what a traitorous bastard Barry Windham is. Lynn makes a smartass comment which leads to a brawl. Jaime Noble (with Sunny) defeats Max Moon with a bodypress at 5:44 (**½) Barry Windham celebrates with manager JJ Dillon, and tag partner Arn Anderson. Barry wishes Arn good luck in next week’s rumble, to which Arn warns that should they meet in the final, he will destroy Windham if he has to. Barry understands and lets Arn know he’ll do the same. They shake hands. The Blue Meanie hosts a talk show called “Tangled up in Blue.” His guest is La Parka. Hilarity ensues. Paul Heyman gloats about stealing the Midnight Express away from Cornette. Randy Orton defeats Stan Lane (with Heyman) with an RKO at 11:03 (**½) Josh Matthews interviews Randy Savage, who trash talks his opponents next week. Sting and HBK are the main subjects of his tirade. Next Week: royal rumble featuring the 21 wrestlers not in this week's rumble. Rey Mysterio vs. Dean Malenko New Jack vs. Test In Two Weeks: Jerry Lynn vs. Brian Pillman UWE Universal Tag quarterfinal matches UWE Television first round matches

No it won't. This isn't like she ripped up a picture of the pope. They replay Tim Robbins/Sinead all the time. They just use the dress version of 'War'. If they want to they can use the dress version. Thank god we can see the show again without having to see the only interesting part.

Tito Santana, Martel love The Smart Marks.

Turd Slinging Monkeys love The Smart Marks.

king kong and awesome kong

Yokozuna will be John Belushi circa 1979. They were both fat, they both portrayed Japanese fighters. Well that's about it I guess.

Tiny smoking minorities love The Smart Marks.

wrong Terrible Summerslam Matches love The Smart Marks

nasty boys

Taboo Tuesday La Resistance© d. HBK & Edge at 15:15. Shawn accidentally nailed Edge with a superkick, allowing Conway to get the pin. Edge beats down Michaels afterwards. Loser becomes Servant Match: Eugene d. Bischoff at 6:16. Postmatch, Eugene gets a chair and Pillmanizes Eric. Diva Battle Royal (School girl outfits): Molly wins, last eliminating Jazz at 9:02. Trish offers a congratulatory handshake only to cheapshot her. Steel Cage Match: Orton d. Flair at 24:35. Afterwards, a masked man attacks Randy. Lead Pipe Match: Kane d. Gene Snitsky at 7:21. Gene does a stretcher job. Lingerie Pillowfight: Eugene destroys both skanks before the “match” can get underway. Chris Jericho© d. Sheldon Benjamin at 25:06. Batista attempted to interfere in the match, but was unable to affect the result. Chris Benoit d. HHH© at 48:48 when Hunter tapped to the crossface. HHH tore his quad again, forcing him out for at least 6 months. Raw will be HHH-free for six mon…

Quit taking my wickets!

I'm shocked

Various Artists

Your Daddy's Cock

So Nash actually cared about the company?