Richard

[commercial - a young girl walks up to her dad who is sitting at the table eating a hotdog.] young girl: Gee daddy, that's a nice weiner you have. Daddy: [chokes] What the f***. Your mom's trying to set me up again, that fat f***ing bitch! Young girl: What are you talking about? Daddy: Uh... Nothing, nothing at all. Young girl: That hot dog looks yummy, daddy. Daddy: [sighs deeply] Oh that, thank God. Well I'm eating a genuine Farmer Adolf frank. Farmer Adolf has produced qualty meat products since he emigrated in 1945 from central Europe. young girl: But daddy, are they as good as Hebrew National? daddy: Are you kidding? Farmer Adolf's hot dogs are much better. Do you know why? young girl: No daddy, pweese tell me. daddy: Well I could tell you but I think I know someone who knows more about the topic than myself. young girl: Oh daddy, whoever could this person be? daddy: [annoyed] Well if you shut up, I'll show you. [shot of farmer Adolf standing on a farm leaning on a fence] Hebrew National is made by JEWS!!!!!!!!!! [back to kitchen] Daddy: Now do you understand, dear? young girl: Ewww Jews are yucky. Daddy: Yes they are dear. They're also evil. young girl: Hey daddy, you know what else looks yummy? daddy: what honey? young girl: [laughs] Silly daddy, I'm talking 'bout your penis! Daddy: Let's wait until you're mom go to work, okay? Young girl: I can hardly wait! [a young man walks into the shot] man: Well what have we learned here? That's right, meat-eaters are incestuous nazi pedophiles. If this makes you sick, please join PETA. PETA- because only vegans have souls. [fade to black]

::Pyromaniac has his desk hauled into the center of the ring as Jump in the fire by Metallica plays :: Shotgun Tom Kelly: Ladies and Gentlemen, the host of the Incinerator, Pyromaniac! Pyromaniac: Thank you for that wonderful welcome. I have a very special show planned for you fine folks. Have you ever had sexual fantasies about characters from the late animated series Goof Troop? Well these people do. Please give a warm welcome to the founding members of the North American Union of Goof Troop Yearners. [two men come to the ring dressed like goof troop characters.] However, before we get to the interview, I must take a short break. [goes to commercial]

I remember the Newz. I remember 2 skits, the clintstones (Clintons as Flintstones) and a skit with Bill Clinton and Janet Reno where they played the Low rider song except with different words. I don't remember She tv. Anyone watch House of Buggin or the Dana Carvey Show?

Survivor Series Dream Team (Dusty Rhodes, Jim Neidhart, Blazers) vs. Magnificent 4 (Muraco, Canadian Earthquake, Demolition) 1. Smash pinned Blue Blazer 2. Ax pinned Pink Blazer 3. Neidhart pinned Ax 4. Rhodes pinned Smash 5. Neidhart pinned Muraco 6. Earthquake co Survivors: Dusty Rhodes & Jim Neidhart Ultimate Team (Warrior, Jimmy Snuka, POP) vs. Rude Brood (Rick Rude, Valentine, Brawler, Tugboat) 1 Snuka pinned Valentine 2 Warlord pinned Brawler 3 Rude pinned Barbarian 4 Tugboat pinned Snuka 5 Warrior pinned Rude 6 Tugboat d. Warlord 7 Warrior d. Tugboat Survivor: Ultimate Warrior Hulkamaniacs (Hogan, Beefcake, Bushwackers) vs. Gods ( Zeus, Hercules, Rougeaus) 1. Hogan pinned Raymond 2 Hogan pinned Hercules 3 Hogan pinned Jacques 4 Hogan dq 5 Zeus pinned Luke 6 Zeus pinned Butch 7 Zeus pinned Beefcake survivor: Zeus Deliverance (Hillbilly Jim, Jake Roberts, Bolscheviks) vs. Africans (Akeem, Bossman, Conquistadors) 1 Jim pinned #1 2 Bossman pinned Zhukov 3 Roberts pinned #2 4 Akeem pinned Roberts 5 Bossman pinned Jim 7 Akeem pinned Volkoff Survivors: Akeem & Big Bossman Rock N Roll ( HTM, Savage, Rockers) vs. King's Court ( Haku, Dino Bravo, Strike Force) 1 Rockers & Strike Force dq 2 Savage & Bravo co 3 Haku dq survivor: Honky Tonk Man Grand Finale Honky Tonk Man, Ultimate Warrior, Dusty Rhodes, Jim Neidhart vs. Zeus, Akeem, Big Bossman 1. Akeem pinned Rhodes 2. Neidhart pinned Bossman 3. Warrior pinned Akeem 4. Zeus pinned Neidhart 5. Zeus pinned HTM 6. Zeus pinned Warrior Survivor: Zeus

5-89 Bret Hart becomes Pink Blazer. Summerslam 1. Brooklyn Brawler & Tugboat Thomas d. The Blazers when Thomas pinned Pink Blazer 2. Bushwackers d. Strike Force when Butch pinned Santana 3. Honky Tonk Man d. Rick Rude 4. Big Bossman d. Jake Roberts 5. tag titles: Bolscheviks © d. Demolition when Volkoff pinned Smash 6. Dusty Rhodes d. Greg Valentine 7. King Haku d. Randy Savage 8. Hillbilly Jim d. Akeem by co 9. tuxedo match: Mean Gene Okerlund d. Lord Alfred Hayes 10. Hulk Hogan & Brutus Beefcake d. Magnificent Muraco & Zeus when Hogan pinned Muraco

2-89 Muraco turns heel and rejoins Mr.Fuji, Bolscheviks turn face 3-89 Strike Force turns heel WM V Hart Foundation vs. Roosters no contest when Ultimate Warrior attacked everybody Ultimate Warrior d. Rick Rude Jim Duggan & Powers Of Pain d. Greg Valentine & Strike Force when Duggan pinned Martel Dino Bravo & Demolition d. Jake Roberts & Rockers when Ax pinned Marty Honky Tonk Man d. Hercules Bushwackers d. Rougeaus when Luke d. Raymond Big Bossman d. Randy Savage tag titles: Bolscheviks © d. Conquistadors when Volkoff pinned #2 Ronnie Garvin d. Bad News Brown Brooklyn Brawler d. Blue Blazer IC title: Brutus Beefcake © d. Akeem King Haku d. Hillbilly Jim WWF title: Hulk Hogan d. Magnificent Muraco ©

Royal Rumble '89 1. Honky Tonk Man & Powers of Pain d. Ron Bass & Demolition 2/3 falls HTM pinned Smash Bass pinned Warlord Ax dq'd 2. Woman's title: Rockin Robin d. Judy Martin 3. super posedown: Hillbilly Jim d. Haku 4. Ultimate Warrior d. Harley Race Rumble 1. Bret Hart (1 by Volkoff) 2. Nikoli Volkoff (19 by Hogan) 3. Shawn Michaels (2 by Volkoff) 4. Blue Blazer (3 by Volkoff) 5. Don Muraco (28 by Akeem) 6. Green Rooster (4 by Muraco) 7. Red Rooster (5 by Muraco) 8. Jake Roberts (14 by Akeem) 9. Jacques Rougeau (6 by Roberts) 10. Marty Jeanetty (7 by Volkoff) 11. Raymond Rougeau (8 by Muraco) 12. Bad News Brown (9 by Roberts) 13. Dino Bravo (16 by Muraco) 14. Tito Santana (10 by Bravo) 15. Greg Valentine (13 by Hogan) 16. Paul Roma (11 by Valentine) 17. Akeem (29 by Beefcake) 18. Rick Martel (12 by Volkoff) 19. Hercules (15 by Savage) 20. Hulk Hogan (26 by Akeem) 21. Randy Savage (18 by Akeem) 22. #1 (17 by Hogan) 23. #2 (20 by Duggan) 24. Jim Duggan (22 by Bossman) 25. Danny Davis (21 by Muraco) 26. Big Bossman (27 by Beefcake) 27. Jim Neidhart (25 by Bossman) 28. Koko B. Ware (23 by Akeem) 29. Rick Rude (24 by Hogan) 30. Brutus Beefcake (Winner)

Survivor Series '88 Beefcake's team (Brutus Beefcake, Honky Tonk Man, Ultimate Warrior, Sam Houston, Jim Brunzell) vs. Bass' team (Ron Bass, Greg Valentine, Danny Davis, Bad News Brown, Sika) 1 HTM pinned Sika 2. Beefcake pinned Brown 3. Bass pinned Brunzell 4. HTM pinned Valentine 5. Davis pinned Houston 6. Warrior d. Bass 7. HTM d. Davis Survivors: Brutus Beefcake, Honky Tonk Man, Ultimate Warrior Power Of Pain's team (POP, Bulldogs, Hart Foundation, Young Stallions, Rockers) vs. Bolscheviks' team (Bolscheviks, Conquistadors, Demolition, Rougeaus, Megabucks) 1. Powers pinned Dibiase 2. #2 pinned Dynamite Kid 3. Volkoff pinned Bret 4. Raymond pinned Shawn 5. Warlord pinned Raymond 6. Barbarian pinned Ax 7. #1 pinned Roma 8. Zhukov pinned Warlord Survivors: Bolscheviks & Conquistadors Hillbilly Jim's team (Hillbilly Jim, Jake Roberts, Jim Duggan, Ken Patera, Tito Santana) vs. Humperdink's Family (Rick Rude, Haku, Harley Race, Red Rooster, Green Rooster (Curt Hennig)) 1. Roberts pinned Red Rooster 2 Haku pinned Patera 3. Duggan pinned Green Rooster 4 Harley Race pinned Santana 5. Hillbilly Jim pinned Rude 6 Haku pinned Duggan 7. Race pinned Roberts 8 Jim pinned Race 9. Haku pinned Jim Survivor: Haku Hulk's team (Hogan, Muraco, Savage, Koko B. Ware, Blue Blazer) vs. Jive Soul Bros (Akeem, Reed, Big Bossman, Hercules, Dino Bravo) 1. Hogan pinned Hercules 2. Bravo pinned Blazer 3. Muraco & Bossman double co 4. Hogan pinned Reed 5. Bravo pinned Savage 6. Akeem pinned Koko 7. Hogan pinned Bravo 8. Hogan pinned Akeem Survivor: Hulk Hogan

4-88 Oliver Humperdink turns heel and takes over Heenan's Family 5-88 Bolscheviks win tag titles at house show, Honky Tonk Man turns face Summerslam '88 Conquistadors d. Demolition, Hart Foundation, Rougeaus & British Bulldogs in elimination match Jake Roberts d. Rick Rude in blindfold match Tag Titles Bolscheviks © d. Powers of Pain when Zhukov pinned Barbarian Honky Tonk Man d. Greg Valentine Hillbilly Jim d. Megabucks in handicap match, pinning Ted & Andre at same time IC title: Ron Bass d. Brutus Beefcake by dq. Hulk Hogan d. Butch Reed by co WWF title: Don Muraco © d. One Man Gang

My character thinks he's an important part of the invasion when in reality he's a jobber with no idea what's going on. He couldn't tell you from Zack.

and his wife left him for another woman.

You forgot about me. I know you're busy with heldown but when you have time

Don't you people know that Brother Love was originally booked to defeat Hogan at WM 3. Just think of what could have been.

What about Springer?

Well at least Keenan will probably get used.

Since it seems to be all the rage, I'll go for a change. Please change my name to Pyromaniac.

I'm forming the triple threat, Nest, and Camp Cornette as the top heel stables, so the Hart Foundation would have to be face.

::Crack Hitler makes Mussolini his bitch::

Now you tell me........you can job to me next week......... I was planning on cutting a promo to introduce myself.

If anyone needs a jobber, I'm available.

*eats those as well* What's next? You got any hamburgers? Well sure I do. :throws burgers at Damaramu:

Scrimmage of the Superstars 3-95 Maxx Payne d. Steve Keirn tag team championship: Heavenly Bodies © d. Chris Benoit & the Kid Jeff Jarrett d. Rick Martel Shawn Michaels d. Savio Vega IC championship: Mr. Perfect © d. Bam Bam Bigelow Pacific Powers (Yokozuna & Fatu) d. Steve Armstrong & Bob Holly when Yokozuna pinned Armstrong Tatanka d. Louie Spicolli WWF champ Borne Again, Shane Douglas, Lex Luger, Wrath, & Carl Oulette d. Bret Hart, Undertaker, Razor Ramon, British Bulldog, & Owen Hart when Borne Again pinned Owen Hart WM XI Free: Hakushi d. the Kid at 10:04 1. 2 Cold Scorpio d. Chris Benoit at 15:43 2. Pacific Powers d. Harlem Heat when Fatu pinned Stevie Ray at 10:53 3. Tatanka & Maxx Payne d. Bam Bam Bigelow & Mike Awesome at 11:39 when Tatanka pinned Bigelow 4. Tag Team Championship: Heavenly Bodies © d. Smoking Gunns when Pritchard pinned Bart at 16:36 5. British Bulldog & Owen Hart d. Lex Luger & Carl Oulette at 13:54 when Bulldog pinned Luger 6. IC Championship: Jeff Jarrett d. Mr. Perfect © at 12:25 7. Retirement Cage Match: Shawn Michaels d. Rick Steamboat at 23:04 8. Bret Hart d. Shane Douglas at 22:11 9. Undertaker d. Wrath at 12:01 Afterwards, Raven appeared and ddt'd Taker 10. WWF championship: Borne Again © d. Razor Ramon when referee Bob Backlund snapped and attacked Ramon at 21:16

::throws hot dogs at Damaramu::

::throws steak at Damaramu::

Rachel Dratch was in the Lelani Burke and Spyglass sketches.