Karc

I lost all faith in RVD after Unforgiven 2002, and I lost all faith on RAW after HHH got the fake title.

It wasn't a match, just a spotfest. So if you like seeing two people trying to kill themselves with a ladder, it's for you. If you were actually expecting a good match, it wasn't there. Too slow, and the spots, while cool-looking, just didn't have any psychology to them.

I never liked Lita at all, but I enjoyed the beat down that she and Trish got. Even though Gail Kim has no business getting ANY promoting, Molly has a point about her not being marketed. Lita is basically Chyna, but since she doesn't have an ego, WWE like her enough not to fire her.

Hollywood wants the Rock out of WWE, so much so that they would give good reviews to a bad movie, just to pump his ego. Why else were all the talk shows asking the Rock if he was done with wrestling? They know he's thinking about leaving. The only problem is that Rock doesn't have a big ego, so he isn't sure, plus this movie won't make a lot of money anyway, so it isn't his breakout hit. Hollywood will try again with the next one.

It may be contradictory, but it explains to me why Finding Nemo, Matrix 2, and X2 made millions while they were all major letdowns. I think most movies are just flat out meaningless. Then of course, there is the Titanic argument, one of the worst movies ever made.

If Goldust, Storm, and the women moved to Heat with Stevie Night Heat, I wouldn't watch Raw anymore...

If there is one true thing about Hollywood, it is that the bad films make money. Unless they are REALLY bad. Rundown, IMO, isn't good enough to generate a great deal of money, but it's not god awful so that it will bomb completely.

With ESPN's East Coast Bias, a team with players that screwed up probably was supposed to be an LA team. Only problem is that no football stadium in LA needs to be a dome, and everyone watching the series would infer it to LA anyway since it is without a team.

Here's my first review of a movie ever. So it's going to be terrible. Bashing the Rundown. Vince McMahon may be the “executive producer,” but it’s hard to see how he didn’t write half the script. The movie starts out well enough, as the Rock is writing something down. I couldn’t make it out, because his writing ability is virtually non-existent. Oh well. Anyway, he goes into a bar and wants some XFL has-been’s ring, in marriage…? Yeah, the XFL, the organization that every WWE fan tried to forget, yet there they are, complete with NFL on FOX like intros. Because we always need the CGI stuff to make them look badass. Oh, Governor wanna-be Arnold makes a five second cameo wishing good luck to the Rock. Ya know, for passing the torch, that was really weak. Anyway, the guy with the ring wants to leave the Rock at the alter, so Rock decimates the entire offensive line of the Miami Dolphins. One guy took them out?! How in the hell are they 2-1? Of note during “the better barroom brawl than Vengeance,” a nice head scissors takedown, which begs the question, why couldn’t the Rock do that in the ring? (Rock said he did all of his own stunts, except for the ones higher than 10 feet or something, like the cliff fall) If he can do a head scissors, he can do a hurricanrana, maybe even a moonsault. Angle vs. Rock 3 on PPV could a five star classic, but whatever. He does this all without guns too, because the WWE doesn’t want guns in their programming. They also swore no rape, but we got involuntary HLA, necrophilia, and Eric Bischoff forcing himself on a “mature” Linda McMahon. Someone is going to shot in this movie, I guaren-damn-tee it. Anyway, Bock (because Beck, like the Rock, has no first name, or legitimate chance of making a good movie outside of ass-kissing reviewers who would rather see the Rock make movies and be a controllable star than be in the evil WWE and be the mega-star that he is, or maybe that was just Triple H…). Where was I? Oh, Beck/Rock/Bock did something to piss a fat guy off, so he’s a bounty hunter/collector. And he wants to open a resturant, IF YA SMEEEEEEELL, WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN! Seriously, I just now got the whole joke. That’s gold. Anyway, Bock has to go get Stiffler (Sean William Scott, in the only role he was ever decent at), so after yapping with the idiotic Scotsman (a.k.a. Roddy Piper, I TOLD you Vince wrote the script), he goes to a bar and meets up with the lame-ass chick from MIB 2 (the one who flew away, anyway) Long story short, Stiffler is there, tries to get in the Rock’s face, and gets the smack down laid on his candy ass. (Don’t worry, the homosexuality gets better…) Then Chris Walken shows up, and the movie goes to HELLdorado. Eventually, Bock and Stiffler get away wander through the jungle, have another gay moment involving piss this time (not enough women for HLA, I guess), and then they both end up getting hung from a tree upside down. The movie never explains if Stiffler zipped up his pants either, weird. The Rock then gets humped by monkeys. I was disturbed. You guys fill in the jokes, because I can’t defend that. I say the same thing with about 90% of RAW, so Vince probably wrote that. Or maybe Tom Green did, who knows. Anyway, Ernie Reyes, Jr. (from Ninja Turtles 2) shows up and cuts them down, only to have a gang fight with his posse (all short enough to be cruiserweights) against the Rock. Naturally, the little cruiserweights get JOBBED to the one heavyweight (one even gets his head taken off by a flaming branch), because that is how the WWE pecking order works. That was bullshit, and could only come from Vince. Seriously, whoever wrote this thing with him will be on the creative team in days. Boring stuff ensues, but somewhere along the way, Walken does a funny analogy of the tooth fairy. That was my highlight. Anyway Stiffler finds treasure, and of course, it gets snatched up from under him because he foolishly ate some paralyzing fruit. Thank god for US customs. Anyway, Bock has a conscience and decides to help the guy go get the treasure back. The “Roddy Piper” parody/shot comes out with kilt and bagpipes, and it is the running of the brahma bulls. In Brazil? Okaaaay. The Walken army is somewhat dimmed, but ultimately, Bock has to pick up the hardware and start popping people, simply because they made a bad career move by siding with the rich guy. If only that could happen in real life. Oh, and the Rock can never go back to the WWE now, because he didn’t use a fake gun that said “bang” like Austin, he used a real gun with blanks. He broke the corporate line. Yeah, like Triple H raping a dead girl wasn’t. Oh, I guess he’s exempt. And Bischoff trying to rape Linda? Oh, that doesn’t count either, since the point was to make him look like a complete wuss of a jackass, and it worked. Anyway, Walken eventually dies, mercifully ending his uselessness in the movie, save for the tooth fairy stuff. It made no sense, but it was funny. The movie should have just ended when Bock and Stiffler left the town, but no. Bock is released from his contract, but not before losing the badass image entirely and getting Stiffler out of his abusive father’s home (he slugged him, but I would have hit him, too). And they both get in the car, to get married…? Seriously, I don’t get the point of this movie. More specifically, I don’t see why the critics like it. Are they marks for the WWE? Did they get paid or something? I was wise enough to bail on the Scorpion King, but this was bad. I felt doubly jaded because I had just downloaded the trailer for Matrix 3, so I had no reason to go. Then again, I wouldn’t have had this fun ripping a dumb movie apart. 1 star, .5 for the tooth fairy joke, .5 for my jokes. How did I do? Be brutal, odds are I won’t read it anyway.

The Rock will be back for WMXX, after that, he probably is done. And I'm fine with that. The only problem I see is with the name. It's his, but Vince gets the exec prod credit each time. Stick with Duane Johnson or something. Just not "the artist formerly known as the Rock." ANYTHING but that. And of all this talk about Triple H and Rock jobbing and leaving, there is a bigger problem. Who did they both job to this year? Some up and coming WWE superstar? No way. The enema of rival WCW, a guy who can't wrestle, FGB. I rarely knock on WWE, but their hypocritcal booking of rival stars "not getting as good a push" is sickening. Rock should stay away, especially since he all but handed the title to Benoit in 2000. Sorry about that. I actually saw the interview, and I actually think the Rock handed it pretty well. He has to disassociate from WWE right now, since this movie is his first true solo "make or break" moment. Having the WWE is his back door if the movies don't take off. If his movies are successful, why shouldn't he leave?

We've decided it's the worst WWE show ever, so I'd say no. lol. You guys say that about every show. Anyway, I'll pass. Not too many people were complaining about Vengeance. That show was worth the replay.

You can find virtually ALL of those online on iMesh or Kazaa. Whatever isn't online I have taped from Confidential. I was thinking about buying the DVD, but I sure as hell won't be buying it now.

It's not really a joke. I know a couple of years ago there was an actual information link to WWE jobs, and one of the requirements was some experience in longterm storyline writing. But there, they only used soap opera writing as an example, it wasn't a requirement.

What really bugs me was that "the bosses were there." There is another term for that. Party poopers, or worse yet, babysitters. What, the guys couldn't really cut loose. That was why the plane ride from hell sounded great. It was uncensored. This was restrained. What a joke.

I hope Blade decimates his sorry ass. I can just imagine Snipes' line as he delievers the coup de grace. "You've got a job to do, and that's to die!"

I think Molly and Gail Kim should win the tag match, but they won't. Certainly it could give the four women something to work with in the next two months. A little tension in the ranks, so to speak, leading up to a no-holds-barred fatal four way elimination at SS. It may sound lame, but it should miles better than anything RAW has done for the women since the freakin' Chicago Street Fight in January. I could give a rat's ass about Steiner and Test. But WWE might actually spend the next two months pathetically trying to "define" what Steiner's services entail. Giving it to Test. No tag titles on the line, so the Dudleys will lose. But it's a tables match, so they might win. Right.... They will probably win the titles sometime before SS. It doesn't matter. Spike is dead. RVD will probably win the title, but Christian will feud with him for the next months anyway. Once again, Jericho is left out, but at least he'll have a kid to go home to, and he won't have to go to the bachelor party for The Lame. Snow and Coach aren't good enough, so this SE segment probably goes to JR and King. It's not about who the better announce team is on RAW since they both suck, it's about McMahon screwing Bischoff. And that means Coach and Snow lose. HBK will carry Orton to a decent match. I think Maven screws Micheals here. Then Triple H leaves, and Flair lets Orton run the show. Yeah, sounds good, if I actually gave a damn. Kane will destroy Shane McMahon. If he doesn't, I will never have any respect for him again, mark my words. Angle wasn't as good as he is now when he fought Shane in 2001. Show was a jobber when he fought Shane. Seriously, I thought Kane was getting another World Title shot because of this monster change. Instead, he only going to be honored by Wrestlecrap. Triple H got out of Summerslam with the gold when most said he wouldn't.... It doesn't matter who wins this shitter of a main event.

That remains to be seen how "good" Lita is in the ring. She's got Unforgiven, so there's her chance. Just don't no "Lita bombs."

BTW, nice "retro" clip of Goldberg from three fuckin' weeks ago. I'm also surprised they didn't show how cheaply Triple H won at the end.

I forgot to mention this earlier, but out of all the contract signings where the face gets sneaked attacked by the heel, it is any surprise that the first "face" to actually get the advantage is none other than a McMahon...?

Damn it, why did that Lita crap have to come back now?!! I wanted to see that double chair move. It was probably going to be a Molly-Go-Round on the chair. That would have been nice. But freakin' Lita has to come back and ruin the whole thing. Damn it.

That was some old school "putting a man in his place." Shouldn't have come from HBK, but I liked it. That's how you get some respect. You gotta smack somebody.

What happened to Victoria was absolute BS. What a jobber she is. I was cheering for Randy Orton at that point to destroy Moolah at that point. They couldn't just give her a cake or something more formal. They just had to put her in the ring, when they openly admit she's 80. What a crock.

If Shane can come back after getting shocked in the balls, then RVD should come back after a cage match. Never mind the fact that this only further adds to the sham that was Kane's demasking. Shane and Kane contract signing? Bye Bye Shane. That alone could be a highlight.

Most black women look 20 until they are 40, so no good there. The abs are scary, period. Tonight's match looked like it had a couple of retakes somewhere.

I doubt this Unforgiven will leave as bad a taste in my mouth as last year's Unforgiven. RVD getting screwed, and a double DQ finish in the main event was horrible, especially since I was there at Staples Center (I live in LA). Then again, chanting "Bullshit" was fun...