Toxxic

Wasn't Flair on Smackdown? And the tag match will only be good if Hardy wins with a sleeper, thereby cementing that Triple H has taught him well.

See, now you're just contradicting yourself. To be fair he's talking about a heel GM who bends the rules for the main heel, not just a GM in general. I don't remember Teddy doing that often, although I haven't been paying a great deal of attention lately.

Too late Landon - the stats were already done by the time you brought your fearsome punning talents out to play.

For the sake of completeness, I should probably point out that stats from Aaron Starr have now been sent to Michael Alexander, even though they aren't up in the stats thread yet.

There's only two of them?

Violence Distribution Network. I'm guessing VDN also stands for Va'aiga / Dace Night.

I'm with evilhomer on the lack of a huge 'Jericho'. I was a little underwhelmed, mostly I think because the crowd actually sounded flat. However, it's great to see him back.

No, which is what I get for trusting Mike Cross. If there are no stats up by Wednesday evening, you win by default. I dunno from there, do a jobber squash of some random high-flier type Aaron Starr guy I guess. Or have him replaced at the last moment by Rikard Fliehr and defeat him instead. Muchos apologeticos.

The camera shot pulls into focus to reveal Toxxic, World Title slung over his shoulder, standing in front of an SWF logo. “There’s a whole load of talent in the SWF right now,” the Straight-Edge Sensation begins, talking right into the camera. “Some of it is new, some of it is old. Some of it’s got staying power, some of it will probably be gone like a flash in the pan,” he snaps his fingers for emphasis. “The thing is though, is right now there’s only two talents that really really matter… and that’s you and me, Tom.” “See, back in 2004 when I beat you people called it a fluke,” Toxxic continues. “Last year at Genesis, people weren’t so sure. I’d ‘arrived’ well before that point, everyone knew who I was and what I was about. And yet even though I had the momentum coming into our match, even though I was the defending World Champion, even though me and Landon had taken the Tag belts from you and Charlie not that long before, in spite of all that the bookies were still giving even odds on both of us. Were they paying attention to ‘form’? No, not really. They were paying attention to you. They were paying attention to the fact that you’re Tom Freakin’ Flesher, ‘The Superior One’, the greatest singles competitor to ever step into an SWF ring.” The Englishman’s steel-grey eyes narrow slightly as he regards the camera. “Now Tom, it seems you think this company is finished, that it’s over. That by stepping up to the main event and challenging for my World Title you’re somehow doing all of us, Landon included, a favour.” The straight-edger frowns as he leans slightly towards the shot. “You’re wrong, sunshine. Where you are right now is a privilege. And I’m not saying it’s one you don’t deserve, after all you’ve done. But you need to get something straight. If you think you’re bigger than the SWF, you’re wrong. If you think this title doesn’t matter apart from the money it can generate, you’re wrong. And if you think I’m going to be easily beaten, you’d bloody well better prepare to be proved wrong. See, to win this match you’re going to have to drop the carefree attitude and be stronger, be faster, be smarter than you’ve ever been before, because you haven’t beaten me yet. Tom, if you come into this match and give me anything less than 100% it won’t be the SWF that’s an embarrassment…” Toxxic leans into the camera, and for the first time the familiar lopsided grin crosses his face. “…it’ll be you. Come and have a go, if you think you’re hard enough.”

I thought Hennig was back with the WWE in his Mr Perfect role when he died? Guess my memory must be playing tricks.

Yeah, it looks weird to me as well. But I guess since the fed's situated in America we've got to use their way of displaying the date...

It did indeed. Spike's match is up, btw.

(Send all marked matches, promos etc to Toxxic) The Homecoming Tour continues, and for the 1st December the SWF rolls into ‘Landon Country’. Doubtless the Commissioner will have stopped off at Huron to sample his mom’s famous lemon pie, but there’s no such delights in store for the roster as they line up for another round of blood and bruises. Class Is In Session was one of the best SWF shows in recent memory - can Ashes 2 Ashes live up to it? We’ve had the welcome (Christian Blackwell), the emphatic (Kibagami) and the truly unexpected (Scott Pretzler), but can these three winning returnees keep their momentum going? And just to top it all off, we have one of the World Title matches of the year… SWF WORLD TITLE Toxxic © VS. Tom Flesher Tom Flesher is truly one of the greats of the SWF. He basically owned the fed in 2003, he was the leader of the Magnificent Seven, he has beaten everyone there is to beat and humiliated most of them along the way… …except one. Whenever Tom Flesher and Toxxic have gone head-to-head in a singles match, the Superior One has come off worse. Now Flesher is no longer constrained by his Commissioner’s role, and his back is certainly good enough to beat Johnny Dangerous. Flesher has his eyes set on the World Title, perhaps not so much to secure a third reign for himself but to demean the belt he once treasured and ruin any hope Landon Maddix has of keeping the SWF together with any sense of heritage and prestige. In his way is the man who beat Jay Hawke last show; can this be right, where it’s Toxxic fighting to protect Landon Maddix’s interests? Will he win? Will Tom become the person to have probably the longest gaps between World Title reigns? If he does win, will he follow through on his threat to ‘show how worthless’ the belt is? Word Limit: 7000 Rules: Standard Singles Send to: King Cucaracha LOSER’S LOTTERY SOUTH DAKOTA STREET FIGHT Jay Hawke vs. Johnny Dangerous Both these men wound up on the wrong end of a loss last show - Hawke proved to be third time unlucky in his quest to bring home the SWF World Title, while Johnny fell foul of the newly-returned Tom Flesher. But this isn’t just a case of throwing the two losers together, oh no - there has been heat between these two since the final International Title match earlier this year, and Landon knows just the way to help them cool off! It's worth bearing in mind that the winner of this match might find a way to nudge themselves back into the title picture relatively soon, while the loser will have longer to wait... Word Limit: 6000 Rules: Street Fight - all weapons are legal, no DQ, the winning pin or submission must take place in the ring. Please note that ‘street clothes’ rather than wrestling attire is encouraged (Johnny, if that means you wear a tux, so be it). Send to: Toxxic SWF NEW BLOOD TITLE - LADDER MATCH Michael Alexander© vs. Aaron Starr Oh, Michael Alexander. The Mad Scientist of the Mat has racked up two New Blood defences, and getting one more will allow him to challenge for any belt he so pleases. Will Wildhild’s Cruiserweight Title be under threat? How about taking MANSON with him and going after the Tag Titles? Perhaps the winner of Toxxic vs. Flesher should be looking over their shoulder… well hold your horses Alexander, because there’s a new Starr in town! No, not him. No, not him either. Aaron has come to the SWF on the recommendation of our talent scouts (and when have they guided us wrong? Well, apart from Candice. And Ghost Machine. And… eh, you get the point). Anyway, he’s thrown into the deep end against the a man who has looked very impressive of late. Will he sink, or will he swim? There’s one thing that might just tip the balance in his favour… …the belt’s at the top of a ladder! Michael Alexander lost out to Fulminatus in a ladder match in the final of the original New Blood tournament - is this his bogey stipulation, or will he exact a form of revenge on the hapless Aaron? Only time will tell… Word Limit: 5000 Rules: Ladder match. The New Blood Title is hanging above the ring and the only way to win the match is to retrieve it. The most obvious solution (ladders of various sizes) will be scattered around and under the ring, although feel free to try just jumping if you want to look like a moron. No DQ, no countout, etc etc. Send to: Muzz Dace Night & Va’aiga vs. Revolution Zero (Austin Sly & The Fabulous Jakey) Night and Va’aiga are back, as the Andersens found out to their cost. Landon’s interested in revitalising the Tag Division, at the top of which currently sits Austin Sly and Toxxic. Simple logic dictates that should Night and Va’aiga (don’t ask me to pronounce his second name) beat this incarnation of Revolution Zero, which includes one of the current Tag Champions, they should get a shot at both Champions next show! Word Limit: 4500 Rules: Tag. Use the ring ropes or suffer my wrath Send to: Ace309 NON-TITLE MATCH Wildchild© vs. Christian Blackwell Wildchild went to a draw with Dance Dance Dragon last show, while Blackwell showed his ability to overcome a powerhouse as he beat Arch Griffon. Now Wildchild takes a step outside his division while we find out if the ageing Blackwell has still got enough pace to keep up with those damn cruisers… Wildchild may not be going for the World Title but he’s still recognised as top talent, and a win here would do wonders for Christian’s momentum Word Limit: 5000 Rules: Standard singles Send to: King Cucaracha SUBMISSIONS MATCH Scott Pretzler vs. JJ Johnson Does anyone remember the day JJ Johnson ‘arrived’ in the SWF? It was in the middle of 2005, when he stepped up his game to beat Scott Pretzler for the SWF Cruiserweight Title and handed Pretzler the first submission loss of his career. Now the dreams of marks have been realised and Pretzler’s back… and revenge seems to be a theme. What better incentive to give the master of the Snowflake Clutch than a chance to redeem himself against his former stablemate? It might be the second Submissions Match in as many cards, but you know it’s going to be worthwhile… Word Limit: 5000 Rules: Disqualifications and countouts are in effect, but the only way to actively win the match is by making your opponent submit, whether verbally or by tapout, or by making them pass out in a hold so that the referee can raise and drop their arm three times. Send to: Mr. S£im Citrus Nathaniel Kibagami vs. Spike Jenkins Spike wanted this match. Kibagami’s always open to… well, he usually open to alcohol. Actual wrestling generally seems fairly low down on his list of priorities recently, but he came back for long enough to knock Christian Fury into next week. Assuming we can get both men to the arena, this should be a bout to remember! Word Limit: 4500 Rules: Standard singles Send to: Toxxic HARDCORE MANSON vs. Christian Fury Poor, poor Fury. He struggled and failed against Craig McLennan, he got knocked the fuck out in just over a minute by his old enemy Kibagami. Now he’s in the yard of the Raging Bull, and MANSON isn’t look friendly. The Savage Messiah got a win over Austin Sly last show and who knows where a winning streak might take him in this new SWF? If he goes over Fury, he’ll likely find out… Word Limit: 4500 Rules: Hardcore. No DQ, no countout, falls count anywhere. Send to: Toxxic CRUISERWEIGHT RULES Dance Dance Dragon vs. Insane Luchador DDD narrowly, narrowly failed to beat WC in their match last show, while Insane Luchador narrowly, narrowly failed to avoid being chokeslammed by a 12 year-old at All Hallows. Now Rickmen apparently wants another go - and he’s welcome to one, but he’s going to have to take on Dance Dance Dragon! IL is a former Cruiserweight Champion, DDD took the current champion to the limit... let's have Cruiserweight Rules! Word Limit: 4500 Rules: Cruiserweight - 20 count on the outside, no throwing over the top rope. Send to: Ace309

Pretzler rules. That is all. Well, not 'all'. A great show, excellent to see there weren't any DNS's and I hope our new schedule will help a couple of people who sometimes have some issues around time/commitment to contribute a bit more than they have of late. Something I'm certainly going to pull for is not very many Meaningless Multi-Man Matches, since I don't think many people like them. If that means we end up with a card with nine singles matches... well, if it means people write, I'm all for it. And hey, UFC get away with a card full of single matches, why can't we!

Yeah, England were playing last night. Against Austria. In a friendly. When the match that MATTERS is tonight, Israel vs Russia.

It's Friday night my time, and there's no show and no Landon. So on the basis that I know he's never around at weekends, EVERYONE WHO'S SENT SOMETHING TO LANDON PLEASE RE-SEND IT TO ME. MARKED MATCHES, PROMOS, MATCHES HE WAS MARKING, EVERYTHING. Sorry for the hassle, but otherwise we might not get a show until Monday. I promise we'll swap passwords before next time to ensure we can just lift shit out of each other's account if we need to. ...but of course, Hawke and myself were being marked by Landon. So Hawke, please re-send your match to JJ Johnson, who's agreed to stand in (mainly because he was the only guy around on AIM and I wanted to get a solution for this sorted tonight). OBVIOUSLY, IF LANDON SHOWS UP AND POSTS HERE TO COUNTERMAND THIS, IGNORE EVERYTHING I'VE SAID.

Problems, requests, ham sandwiches... you know where to come.

Your opponent's match has been submitted as the winner, and since that was a rushjob I don't think it's fair to give you more time to get something in to compete with it I'm afraid. Still, at least we know you'll be around for next time. As for where the show's gone... I was hoping Landon would have it up this evening. But it's twenty to eleven and he's not around on AIM, and I know he's absent over the weekends. Hmm...

Ditto here. We just need to wait until Landon gets back from work and then we SHOULD have a show.

The problem with Jericho's enzuigiri is all the other guys doing enzuigiris that don't win matches with it.

If it's that important to you I'm sure Landon will let you forfeit...

Yeah.

A few hours before Class Is In Session “So, how we doing?” Toxxic asks, leaning against the wall and taking a slug from his can of Coke. “Not bad,” SWF Commissioner Landon Maddix tells his World Champion, shuffling through some paperwork, “we’re at capacity, sold out.” “I should bloody well hope so,” Toxxic grumbles, “I mean, this ain’t quite a bingo hall, but come on…” “Toxx, you need to stop being so damn negative about everything!” Landon tells him cheerily. “Come on, think happy thoughts! This is the new SWF, the Landon Maddix SWF, the-” *ahem* “-the Landon Maddox and Megan Skye SWF,” Landocn continues, barely missing a beat, while Toxxic nods in acknowledgement to co-Commissioner Megan Skye as she clears her throat. “What we’re doing at the moment is stabilising, getting our fan base accustomed to the new schedule and the new look-” “-and reminding them that they need to buy our DVDs because we lost our TV deal,” the Englishman finishes. Landon looks like he’s going to argue for a moment, then shrugs and concedes that the facts are accurate even if the language is rather pessimistic. “Look,” he tells Toxxic, “we’ve got some surprises in the pipeline. Even you might be pleased.” “Oh, come on,” Toxxic snorts, finishing his Coke, crumpling the can and lobbing it expertly into the trash can. “Landon, I’ve been with this company nearly four years. For a lot of that time I’ve been your enemy, for some of that time I was your tag team partner, and for a while I was your enemy and your tag team partner. I really don’t think you can surprise me anymore.” Landon looks at him for a moment. “What about Va’aiga coming back last show?” he challenges the World Champion, “were you expecting that?” “Please,” Toxxic grunts, “you forget; Va’aiga talks to Chris Card, and Chris Card talks to me. I knew the Maori was going to turn up, even if,” he continues, inspecting his painted nails, “I chose not to enlighten Jay Hawke of that fact… No sunshine,” Toxxic states, “you’ll have to do better than that.” Landon smirks and turns to Megan. “Meg, pass me the blue folder will you?” “Landon-” “Come on,” Maddix urges. Megan sighs and hands the folder over, which Landon opens at the second attempt. “OK,” the Commissioner continues, returning his attention to Toxxic, “bet me twenty bucks I can’t surprise you.” “What?” “Come on,” Landon says, holding out his hand to shake and seal the deal, “twenty bucks. And promise that you won’t lie just to win the bet.” “You what?” Toxxic asks, genuinely puzzled. “Toxx, you don’t break promises,” Landon reminds him. “Twenty bucks and your promise that you won’t lie. Oh, and that you won’t tell anyone what I’m about to show you.” “Fine,” Toxxic shrugs, taking his hand, “I promise I won’t lie about being surprised, and my lips are sealed. Do your worst.” Landon retrieves his hand, grins, and pulls out a sheet of paper. It is clearly an SWF contract. He points to the name signed at the bottom triumphantly. “There you go! The identity of our first mystery man!” Toxxic peers at it for a second, then breaks into a snort of laughter. “Heh! That’s not a surprise Landon, that was just a matter of time. If he wins a match, then I’ll be surprised… but that won’t have anything to do with you.” “OK,” Landon says, not downhearted yet, “stick with me, I’ve got another…” he roots about in the folder for a second, then pulls out another contract and thrusts it at the straight-edger. “The identity of Ced’s opponent, our second mystery man!” Toxxic looks at the contract. He peers harder at the contract. He looks up and around at Landon, fixing him with a hard gaze as if trying to determine if this is a trick. He looks back at the contract. Then he straightens up, wordlessly reaches into his pocket and deposits a $20 bill into Landon’s hand before walking off.

If Wes had returned, Toxxic's eyes would have melted in sheer joy and his knees would have given way as he was overcome by multiple orgasms. So regretfully no, it's not Wes.

I'll toot yer horn, big feller.