From Even Further Outside
Wuzup everyone….I am sorry for my 2 week absence but I am finally back with “From Even Further Outside.” I was still watching TNA during my absence, but I just wasn’t motivated to write about it. I don’t really know what happened. But, I am stoked about recent developments, so off writing I go. You all know the drill with the feedback. I want it. I NEED IT. So, if you’re so inclined, e-mail me at
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Last Week in TNA
TNA finally delivered the Guitar on the Pole match I had feared out loud a few weeks ago and boy did it suck. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more heatless clusterfuck. And has The Truth become an after thought or what? Does he still even want to be the champ or is he just going after JJ because he enjoys being his BIATCH. The Truth cut the promo of a life time on the show after the anniversary show, actually drawing me into the insipid Russo decides who’s champ story. I thought it could be a major turn as far as The Truth connecting with newer fans. So of course, TNA shot that straight to hell by never giving him the mic again because its shoved so far up Dusty’s ass. Why is it that we know more about why Dusty and Larry and Russo hate Jarrett than the Truth? How can we possibly be expected to get behind in that scenario? TNA absolutely ruined all the momentum The Truth had picked up for the first few months of the year, leading up to his title win. And they haven’t given the Orlando fans a reason to pop for him at all, other than the fact that the Nashville fans do. And to make matters worse, it appears that TNA is gearing up for a heel/heel feud between Jarrett and Monty Green. The two have crossed paths and exchanged words, mostly about the lack of mountains in the Serengeti, in recent weeks. Hell, Monty even sniffed Jarrett this week, so now YOU KNOW it’s on. We all should have known that they were only playing his Goldberg-like “undefeated” streak so that JJ could play Kevin Nash and kill his heat. Listen, we’ve established that I like the Alpha Male and that I think he’s someone TNA should invest in, but he’s just not ready for this slot yet and here’s why:
1) They are pushing him against a heel and Monty was not getting any reaction to suggest that fans are ready to accept him as a face. So this feud will play mostly to silence that travels across two time zones.
2) Monty’s building up momentum with his streak and they’re going to cut the legs from under him by jobbing him to JJ so soon.
3) The matches will SUCK THE MEAT MISSLE. Monty’s very limited at this point and he needs someone who is going to bump like a madman for him, which is decidedly not Jeff Jarrett.
TNA has plenty of better options for Jarrett challengers. They could complete Abyss’s face turn and stick him in there. They could un-pussy-ify D’Lo and have him challenge him (more on that later). They could put “Jerry-actric” Lynn in there (TM “Don’t Call Me Frankie” Kazarian). Hell, they could put Jeff Hardy in there and the fans would erupt. Shark Boy, D-Ray, and even Mike Posey would all be better challengers for Jeff Jarrett than Monty is at this point. In short, the World Title scene is a hot mess and TNA doesn’t seem to have a clue what to do about it at this point, other than give it a rest as they seem to have this week.
Thankfully for TNA, there other two title divisions are in tip-top shape. Your hero and mine, the Phenomenal AJ Styles, now has his hands full with “Don’t Call Me Frankie” Kazarian and HB2K, Michael Shane, two guys I’ve always liked despite the IWC telling me they suck over and over. So anyway, Future Heartbreak suckered Styles into facing them both at the same time on Wednesday PPV and to prove they were great, they defeated Chris “Give Me Something to Do, Please!” Sabin and the Not-Quite-As-Amazing-Lately Red. Styles and Shane met to open up the show and work an excellent match that wasn’t really an X-match at all in that it wasn’t a spotfest. Clearly, this is where I saw the benefit these guys got from working outside the X-Division (AJ with the Heavies, Shane in the tag division). Just a solid 10 minute match up, leading up to the non-finish. Styles, “showing off,” goes over the top rope onto Shane and gets his knee caught on the rail and then sells the injury like a MOFO. I was all prepared to drive to Nashville to make sure he was ok. I knew it was a work, but in the back of my mind (you know, the mark part), I thought OMG, now AJ can’t wrestle Kazarian. So good job, TNA. This is one instance where I don’t mind the non-finish as Shane get his title shot through less than honorable means and it put heat on Styles’ second match. When time for the second match came, Jerry Lynn came out to substitute for AJ, then Frankie, in a very heel-like uncompassionate moment, demanded Styles come out or forfeit because he wasn’t wrestling his grandfather, “Jerry-actric Lynn,” which had me rolling on the floor laughing. So Styles valiantly comes out to defend his honor, and shame on you Nashville for not popping as loud as you should have. Though, in fairness, you made up for it by getting behind AJ in the match. So AJ and Frankie do their thing, a competitive little match and Styles seems to be ok. Then he slips climbing the ropes and Frankie attacks. Great psychology there. He still can’t put AJ away, so Traci starts interfering, leading to her taking a Styles Clash, which is very un-face like, Mr. Styles? Anyway, Kazarian and Shane continue their pattern of not caring about Traci’s well-being as long as they win and go on cheating until they get the best of AJ. So now they’re both in line for X-Title shots. But who goes first? Smell the intrigue….
Over in the land of the two man, the Naturals (who? Those Xplosion guys, remember?) have opening their package, marked PUSH, and are now your WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS. Long way from working 3 minutes match while the crowd buys hot dogs, huh guys? Well, they won the title in under a minute, so I guess you can’t call it total progress. Anyway, they were forced by Russo to put up a title shot against AMW’s roster spot in a double ladder match. This was a very stiff spotfest and AMW prevailed giving them their “dream” match for the title shot and AMW, you guessed it, chose the ~SIX-SIDED CAGE. Speaking of cages, 2 men have recently spoke out against AMW claiming to be the best tag team in TNA. Two men who are the only other 2 time former World Tag Team Champions in TNA (besides AMW). Two men who are 4 and 1 versus AMW lifetime, with their only loss coming in TNA's first cage match. Two men who are Triple X. I know, I know, it doesn’t make sense for two men to be called Triple X, but trust me, there used to be 3 of them. And Double X doesn’t sound as cool, now does it? Anyway, Triple X has let it be known that they want to tango with AMW again, and all they have to do is defeat Team Mexico to earn a title shot. Shouldn’t be too difficult because everyone but David F’N Young has defeated Mexico at one point or another.
Goldilocks used Erik Watts’ money to purchase the services of Alex Shelley because she thought he was cute. She even named him Baby Bear. And in showering Mr. Bear with affection, she’s neglected THE MONSTER Abyss, who’s feeling appear to be hurt. Awww, poor guy. Actually, I don’t know how sympathetic I can be to a guy who loses his girl because he wears a mask and growls at her all the time. Despite being jealous of Mr. Bear, Abyss has been forced to team with him because he’s with Goldilocks, who has control over him, though we’re still not quite sure why. Abyss and Shelley ran into Sabu and Sonjay Dutt this week, who are mostly just killing time waiting for Raven to get a better. I think I saw Sabu take Raven soup last week. As I’ve said before, he is awful thoughtful and compassionate for a homicidal, suicidal, genocidal maniac, so I wouldn’t put it past him. Well Sabu and Sonjay won (I think, but it’s not important), but Raven did his scare crow thing again with the Sheik, to piss Sabu off. Sabu, in the middle of battling with Abyss, became distracted. Shelley and Goldi left while Sabu had the upper hand, and who the hell knows what happened to Sonjay, but after Raven’s game, Sabu got a major beatdown. This is good in that it gives Sabu something to do until Raven’s back, but bad in that it prolongs Abyss’s face turn.
In other developments, the NYC are chumps and Swinger might be slightly homosexual. Vito is a tough guy. Kenney can’t win a fight to save his life, mostly because HE LIKES GETTING KNOCKED DOWN. Kid Kash is suspended for God knows why. Jeff Hardy has been deciding on a contract from TNA FOREVER and Dusty gets a woody thinking about him signing. Shark Boy and D’Ray hang out because they make each other feel normal. David Young is still a loser. In fact, he’s such a loser that he can't get the best of an F’N referee.
And D’Lo Brown’s testicles were apparently eaten by his baby daughter.
This Week on TNA
This week, TNA Wrestling proudly presents: “Six Sides of Steel.” I gotta admit, I kinda like the name. I think every once and a while they should name the PPVs. It makes them feel special. Now whether or not they live up to it or not is another matter entirely, but I believe this is the fourth time they've done this. There was "Destiny," "Anarchy in the Aslyum," "Wednesday Bloody Wednesday" and now "Six Sides of Steel." And I will forever refer to the JJ/Truth show as "Truth or Consequences." I don't remember if they did or not (somebody correct me), but it's such an appropriate name for that show as it basically kicked off the angle that carried the next SIX MONTHS for TNA. At any rate, the Destiny show was big deal because it had JJ/Raven and the Wed. Bloody Wed. show and the Wargames match and the Super X Cup, so I guess they're 2 out of 3 in that department. But anyway, the “Six Sides of Steel” line-up looks great. And here it is:
SIX SIDED STEEL CAGE MATCH FOR THE WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES: THE NATURALS © VS. AMERICA’S MOST WANTED
THE PHENOMENAL AJ STYLES AND JERRY LYNN VS. MICHAEL SHANE AND KAZARIAN w/ Traci
SABU VS. THE MONSTER ABYSS w/ Goldylocks
TAG TEAM TITLE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER MATCH: TRIPLE X (DANIELS AND SKIPPER) VS. TEAM MEXICO’S MR. AGUILA AND ABISMO NEGRO
SICILIAN STREET FIGHT: “IRISH” PAT KENNEY VS. BIG VITO w/ Trinity
SHARK BOY, D-RAY 3000 AND REFEREE MIKE POSEY VS. THE NEW YORK CONNECTION AND DAVID YOUNG
AMW versus the Naturals is clearly the draw this week, but I don’t know if it will get the main event position due to the time it takes to set up the cage. Remember, TNA’s first cage match opened the show and went nearly 20 minutes. Every one since has main event and gone about 10. Which would you prefer? I think this ends up going on last, because the only other match on the card that I think could carry the main event position well is AJ/Lynn vs Future Heartbreak. Either way, this match should be good. AMW will most likely want to prove that the success of the first great cage match wasn’t all due to the greatness of Triple X and the Naturals are probably creaming themselves wanting to take advantage of their highest profile match yet. So I fully expect these guys to go all out and to see this one end with a Death Sentence off the top rope. What I would do if I was booking, however, would be to have the Naturals narrowly win so that Triple X has to choose between going after the belts or AMW, or maybe trying to do both at the same time, leading to a great 3 way here. I think it’s too soon for this feud to be blown off, but that seems like the nature of the beast. After all, AMW and the Naturals have faced off about as many times as AMW and Triple X did, but the AMW/XXX feud lasted six months and this one lasted one month. This feud is a perfect example of the FF nature of TNA since Impact started, a nature they will only be able to slow down once they drop the weekly PPVs, but I disgress.
AJ Styles and “Jerry-actric” Lynn vs Future Heartbreak should also rock mightly. If they give these guys 15 minutes, they might contend with the cage match for MOTN. Kazarian and Shane have really come into their own as a heel team, so much so in fact, that I’d suggest moving them to the tag division after his feud is over. The story of them being jealous of AJ and wanting him out of the X-Division has been well done. I wish we got more of the backstory of Styles and Lynn coming to respect each other after their feud, but I guess I should be satisfied that they mention that they are former tag team champions. Anyway, I expect either AJ to go over some one to get his jobs back or Lynn to take the fall to protect AJ here. It’ll probably be the latter, though, since they’ve clearly tried to establish that Lynn is old and can’t go with the young guys anymore.
Sabu and Abyss could be a huge mess or an entertaining brawl. Who knows? It’ll just be fodder to continue the stories of Raven playing games with Sabu and Goldi pretty much ignoring Abyss for Shelley. I think we see Abyss go over here due to Raven interference, marking his first appearance in a few weeks.
Triple X versus Team Mexico is just a backdrop to propel Triple X back into the title hunt. The only real question is not whether or not they will win, but will this be the week where they finally acknowledge that there is, or was, a third member of the team.
Kenney versus Vito feels old already because it is built on the same premise as the tired Kenney/NYC feud, only the work should improve. I don’t doubt this will be a good match, but I’d just like to see Pat going in a new direction now that he and Siaki have bested the NYC.
And speaking of the NYC, they continue to prove to be the dumbest guys in TNA by continually teaming with the biggest loser on the roster, David Young. You know he’s taking the pin here, most likely from Posey to set up a one on one match, where he finally wins, but is still called a loser because he had to be a referee. Get it? Got it? Good. Now giggle and move on. PLEASE!
Jeff Hardy will finally reappear in TNA this week, most likely for a contract signing. And since we all know how those ALWAYS play out in wrestling, fully expect a long-winded King of the Mountain interruption, probably leading to a brawl that involves Monty Green somehow too.
Kid Kash will sit down with Mike Tenay as we try to find out what exactly got him suspended. I’m sure this will be a worked shoot, but it should be interesting to see where TNA goes with this. I’m glad Kash isn’t gone, because poor Dallas would have fallen off the face of the earth. Anyone seen him lately? Exactly. And because Kash is the best heel in the company. Should be good.
There you have it. TNA Wrestling Six Sides of Steel. This Wednesday, live from Nashville, TN, for ~UNDER TEN BUCKS. Sorry, couldn't resist going into Don West mode for a sec there.
RANDOM TNA NEWS:
Before I go, let me quickly discuss some news in the TNA world.
• TNA has finally reached a deal to have their shows broadcast in Canada! Now before you get too excited Marty and Riley, I should tell you that it isn’t Impact. It’s there first year of PPVs, airing chronologically on ESPN Classic. Feel deflated yet, guys? TNA should have been trying to get Impact to clear Canada. This announcement isn’t good or bad. It’s just kinda there.
• The Torch reported that TNA could be considering running joint shows with the AAA promotion in California. Anything that leads to them touring and perhaps, making some money, is a good thing in my opinion. This is the first time we’ve heard of the targeting the West Coast though. Everything I’d read before that indicated they’d be starting in the Midwest and Northeast.
• The Elite Guard have all been signed to contracts. Now granted, their booking hasn’t been the best, but these guys haven’t impressed me yet. Doesn’t mean they won’t, but they haven’t yet. So I’ll reserve judgement on this signing for now.
• TNAWrestling.com has opened up mini-sites that are superstar specific. The first ones are the ladies (TNA Knockouts) and AJ Styles.
• TNA is apparently giving serious consideration to moving the entire operation to Orlando and running both of there shows from Universal Studios. I understand that this move is being consider to cut back cost, but I really think they are running the risk of QUICKLY burning out the Orlando crowd. Two shows a week are just waaaaaaayyyyy to much. I think they should consider moving the PPV’s to Tampa or some other Florida location that will save transportation costs, for the sake of crowd heat.
That's it and that's all. Lemme know what you guys think. Agree, disagree? I don't care, just FEEDBACK ME!!!!