The Mandarin

Well, it wasn't up at 5:00. But, I will update this with both Benoit/Angle and (HOPEFULLY) the RR '92 I owe you, tomorrow.

WWE Velocity- 03/20/04 We're 6 days past WrestleMania XX, and the shock is still wearing off. SmackDown is now without Brock Lesnar! And you won't believe who showed up on SmackDown this past week! Paul London (2) and Ultimo Dragon (2) d. The Bashams (-1, -1) when Doug tried the bait and switch and ended up getting hit by both the Shooting Star Press and the Asai Moonsault. ** Highlights of Bob Backlund on SmackDown. Clips of fans enjoying the recent SmackDown house shows. A-Train (2) d. Orlando Jordan (-1) with the Derailer. 1/2* Fan sign of the week: A group of six rowdy fans with "FUNAKI" spelled out over their chests Paul Heyman's speech from this week's SmackDown is re-aired. Billy Gunn (2) d. Matt Morgan (-1) with the Fame-ass-er. 3/4* Point standings for SmackDown are: John Cena, Charlie Haas, Shelton Benjamin- 3 Billy Gunn, A-Train, Paul London, Ultimo Dragon, Chavo Guerrero and Big Show- 2 Hurricane, Billy Kidman, Rey Mysterio, Matt Morgan, Orlando Jordan, Danny Basham and Doug Basham- -1 Tajiri, Bradshaw and Faarooq- -2 Everyone else has no recorded points. See you Thursday night, at SmackDown. WWE Heat- 03/21/04 One week past WWE WrestleMania, and we've got all the action from this past week's RAW. Scott Steiner (2) d. Matt Cappoteli (-1) with the Steiner Recliner. * Highlights of Edge returning. Will Benoit get the title shot he deserves? Horshu asks backstage why a piece of crap like Steven Richards gets to become Heat GM. Steven Richards takes offense to that, and says tonight, he'll show him why he's the most feared mid-carder in North America. Matt Hardy Version 1.0 is interviewed backstage by Todd Grisham. Todd asks if he took DDP's advice and tried to lighten up. Matt says he did, then mugs a toothy smile at the camera. Matt then quickly goes from calm to enraged. He says tonight, he's going to beat the crap out of Nick Dinsmore..and then, he's going to find his inner Mattitude and drink some herbal tea. Matt once again regains his composure and leaves. Matt Hardy Version 1.0 (2) d. Nick Dinsmore (-1) with a Twist of Fate. The advice has paid off, and Matt is finally picking up wins. ** RAW Viewer of the Week: Noreen O'Connor, who can do a flawless spinarooni. Will Ric Flair accept Randy Orton's challenge? Find out tomorrow night. Footage of Chris Jericho getting jumped by Christian. Slam of the Week- Molly Holly cheating to win, then being chased out by Victoria. Stevie Richards (2) with Victoria d. Horshu (-1) with a superkick. *1/4 The point standings for RAW are: Randy Orton, Rob Van Dam, Booker T- 3 Chris Jericho, Molly Holly, Matt Hardy, Scott Steiner- 2 Lita, Johnny Spade, Horshu, Nick Dinsmore, and Matt Cappoteli- -1 Lance Storm, Val Venis and Rico- -2 Everyone else has no recorded points. See you tomorrow night at RAW.

The credit for the roster/point system rules goes to The Amazing Rando. Check out his thread for details. Anways, expect the results to be written in WWE.com style format, but so that it covers/hypes everything that goes down on the show. Matches won't be in depth, but will be to the point so that interest isn't lost. I'll have "Insider" reports too so you can find out what's going on behind the scenes. Will I hire Hulk Hogan? Oh, the drama! Tonight, expect the results to WrestleMania XX (two days early!).

WWE SmackDown!- 03/18/04 MR. BOB BACKLUND?!? 4 days removed from WrestleMania XX, Kurt Angle was humiliated after his quest to defeat Undisputed Champion Eddie Guerrero came up short. After failing to get rid of someone he calls a bad influence on today's youth, Kurt Angle was desperate to strike back at Eddie Guerrero. Unable to change that night's booking, he was determined to get revenge on Eddie by the end of the night. Eddie had gotten wind of this, and both men were ready for a fight. Both men circled the ring, waiting for the other one to make a move. Without warning, former WWE Champion Bob Backlund showed up and jumped Eddie from behind! The two men beat Eddie for several minutes, busting open his forehead. At the end of the beating, the two men shook hands over Eddie's bloody body! Why is Bob Backlund on SmackDown? Are the two men on a mission to get rid of Eddie Guerrero? We'll have all the answers next week. As for Paul Heyman, he had taken the week off. But he left a message telling the fans that the loss of Brock Lesnar would not hurt SmackDown. Instead, this would give another man a chance to shine. Paul said this would give another man a chance to step up and take charge of SmackDown. Paul Heyman wanted to know who is going to be SmackDown's next big thing. After defeating Big Show to win the United States title, John Cena followed it up by soundly defeating Tajiri this week on SmackDown. Will John Cena's win streak continue? Also, The Hurricane's SmackDown debut fell flat, as he quickly lost to The Big Show. Will the Big Show try to regain the title that was once his? The Self-Proclaimed World's Greatest Tag Team defeated the APA after Faarooq fell victim to their german suplex/superkick combo. The youngsters have gotten one over the veterans, and you can bet that the APA won't take this lightly. Plus, Rey Mysterio and Billy Kidman have some bad blood brewing after they cost eachother the Cruiserweight Title at WrestleMania. What will happen between them? A promotional video announced that the Undertaker will be there next week when SmackDown invades Grand Rapids, Michigan! How will Eddie Guerrero retaliate when Paul Heyman comes back to SmackDown this week? Find out next Thursday at 8/7 CT, only on UPN! Match Results: The World's Greatest Tag Team (3, 3) d. The APA (-2, -2) to retain the Tag Team Titles when Benjamin pinned Faarooq. *3/4 Chavo Guerrero (2) and Jamie Knoble (2) d. Billy Kidman (-2) and Rey Mysterio (-2) when Mysterio was Tigerbombed by Knoble following an altercation with Kidman. **1/4 Big Show (2) d. The Hurricane (-1) w/ Rosey after the Chokeslam. DUD John Cena (3) d. Tajiri (-2) to retain the United States Title following the F-U. **

Some guy named "God of Respect" did it for him.

WWE RAW- 03/15/04 VINCE'S ANNOUNCEMENT; EDGE RETURNS 24 hours after WrestleMania XX, the excitement continued as Edge made his WWE return after more than a year. At the end of the evening, Chris Benoit was in the ring, demanding a title rematch from Shawn Michaels. Shawn Michaels won the Triple Threat title match by pinning Chris Benoit, who's foot was under the bottom rope. Just as things became heated, Triple H came out with Evolution members Randy Orton and Batista. Triple H said he was going to be the first one to get a title shot, and he wasn't just demanding it..he was ordering it. It then turned into a three on two brawl, much like last night. Just as Evolution was winning the numbers game, fan favorite Edge made his return to RAW. Edge helped the other two men clear the ring. Is Edge on RAW to stay? Will Benoit get a title rematch? Find out next week on RAW, 9/8 CT on Spike TV! In more of the fallout from WrestleMania, Vince McMahon made some important announcements at the start of the brodcast. Mr. McMahon announced that Brock Lesnar and Bill Goldberg will not be returning to WWE programming any time in the foreseeable future. Vince wishes them well, and WWE's doors are always open. But in another twist, Vince announced that the new era of World Wrestling Entertainment will fall under the rules of a point system. The point system will apply to every superstar in WWE, no matter if you are man or woman, or wrestle for RAW or SmackDown. The amount of points you get (which can be earned through victories) can both make your career..or ruin it. Right after Vince's speech, the first ever match under the point system rules took place. WrestleMania tag team winners Rob Van Dam and Booker T defeated Lance Storm and Val Venis to take in three points a piece for retaining their titles, while Storm and Venis lost two each. Who will win the most points next week? Tune into RAW to find out! The Rock had a pretaped message for all WWE fans, thanking them for watching WrestleMania. Go see Walking Tall this April, and remember- The Rock is forever a WWE superstar. The Rock's WrestleMania partner, Mick Foley was live at RAW this week. Mick Foley said he was going back to Long Island to try and live a normal life, as he had done before Evolution had gotten in his way. But when he tried to leave RAW peacefully, the monster known as Kane came to the ring. Kane, obviously angry after suffering a loss against the Undertaker last night, beat the hell out of his one-time tag team partner. Mick Foley fought back against Kane, but eventually suffered the wrath of the chokeslam. Randy Orton had some harsh words for Ric Flair, his former Evolution teammate. Orton challenged Flair to show his face next week, before retaining his title against Rico. Will Flair show up next week? Following Molly Holly's cheap victory against Lita, Victoria chased Lita not just out of the ring, but out of the entire arena! When will Victoria get her rematch and possibly regain the title she deserves? Chris Jericho didn't win last night at WrestleMania, but he did get the girl. After Trish turned down Eric Bischoff earlier in the night, newcomer Johnny Spade was ordered to compete in his first RAW match against Jericho. After winning in a submission victory, Jericho was attacked from behind by Christian. Obviously, this feud isn't over. What will Sheriff Austin have to say when he returns next week? The new era continues at next week's RAW! 9/8 CT, only on Spike TV! Match Results: Rob Van Dam and Booker T (3, 3) d. Lance Storm and Val Venis (-2, -2) to retain the Tag Team Titles when Van Dam frogsplashed Storm. ** Molly Holly (2) d. Lita (-1) in a non-title match she DDTed her after using a thumb to the eyes. 3/4* Randy Orton (3) d. Rico (-2) with Miss Jackie with an RKO to retain the Intercontinental Title. *1/4 Chris Jericho (2) d. Johnny Spade (-1) with the Walls of Jericho. *

Del Wilkes aka. The Patriot is on CNN right now discussing Pro Wrestling Drug Abuse.

WWE WrestleMania XX- 03/14/04 Very nicely crafted video package for WrestleMania. Chavo Guerrero Jr. won the Cruiserweight Open. Rey Mysterio hit the 619, and then the West Coast Pop on Jamie Knoble, but Kidman dragged him off. Rey and Kidman bickered and Rey knocked Kidman over the ropes. Rey did a plancha on to him, but Chavo Guerrero snuck in for the pin on Knoble. Chavo ran off with his belt while Rey was left frustrated back in the ring. *** Molly Holly d. Victoria to win the Women's Title following a rollup with a handfull of tights. *1/2 John Cena raps for us. Backstage, Johnny Spade tried to hit on Victoria following the match. She choked him out, vowing revenge on Molly Holly. Entertaining interview with Booker T and RVD. Rob Van Dam and Booker T retained the Tag Team Four Corners match, when Van Dam pinned Jindrak following a Five Star Frogsplash. *3/4 John Cena d. Big Show to win the US Title following the F-U. *1/2 Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin won the Tag Team Four Corners match when Bradshaw accidentally lariatted Farooq and Benjamin scored the cover. ** Moronic interview with Jackie Gayda and Stacy Keibler. Sable and Torrie Wilson d. Jackie Gayda and Stacy Keibler in a Playboy Evening Gown contest. DUD Backstage chatter with The Rock and Mick Foley. Edge joined Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler to do commentary for the next match. Christian d. Chris Jericho when he Unprettiered him and put his feet on the ropes. After the match, though, Trish Stratus came down and kissed Jericho, leaving Christian ticked. *** The FBI takes bets on the Goldberg/Lesnar match. Pete Rose places 20 bucks on someone's ass getting stunnered. Haw haw. The Rock and Mick Foley d. Ric Flair, Randy Orton and Batista when Rock pinned Flair while Foley had the Mandible Claw on Orton. **1/2 After the match, Randy Orton blamed Ric Flair for the loss and gave him the RKO. Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer d. Kane with the Tombstone Piledriver. ** Vince McMahon unveiled the new WWE logo in the ring, and announced the start of a new era in WWE programming. Brock Lesnar's music interrupted him. Brock Lesnar d. Bill Goldberg with the F-5. *3/4 After the match, Brock Lesnar got on the mic and announced his retirement. He said he was leaving for good, because this company doesn't deserve him. Steve Austin stunnered Lesnar and sent him out of the ring. Shawn Michaels d. Triple H and Chris Benoit to win the World Heavyweight Title. Michaels pinned Benoit after a superkick, but Benoit had a foot underneath the ropes. ***1/2 Vince McMahon will be live on RAW tommorrow, with some important announcements. Eddie Guerrero d. Kurt Angle to retain the Undisputed Title following a Frogsplash. ****

WWE Heat- 03/14/04 Live, at MSG Arena. Fans are starting to pile in. First off, Goldberg vs. Lesnar is hyped for tonight. Video package. An interpromotional Heat match is hyped for later tonight. Christian vs. Chris Jericho is hyped next. Very small video package. Eddie vs. Angle gets the video package treatment too, as does the Handicap Match. Clips from the WWE Hall of Fame ceremony are shown. Undertaker vs. Kane is hyped, but no video package. Down to RAW's Jerry Lawler, and The King. Paul London d. Matt Hardy with a rollup in an upset victory. ** Back from commercial, Matt Hardy is depressed backstage, after continuing his losing streak. Diamond Dallas Page walks in and tries to motivate him. Comedy segment. Matt Hardy feels a bit better now. The Triple Threat match is hyped. WrestleMania begins.

Hey, Rando, is it all right if I use these rules to start an EWR fed that I'll post on here? I've been looking for some inspiration to start up a new fed, and this sounds pretty damn good. I'm thinking since you only get three TV shows per week on EWR, I could have both Velocity and Heat on a two hour show. First hour Velocity, second hour SmackDown. Rosters for everything would be the same, and I could keep tally of the point system. Sound good?

Should be up at 5:00. IF YOU READ, VOTE PLEASE. It's encouraging to see that people actually click on this thread, so please vote. WE NEED A TIE BREAKER, PEOPLE. Benoit vs. Angle or Michaels vs. The Bad Guy?

Nice show. Too bad about La Parka. And I'm shocked Rhyno is able to cut a promo without using "motherf---er" at least 10 times.

Man, Cena is frigging over.

We'll never forget you, Nathan Jones. Never. As hard as we try. Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding.. Di-- Nathan Jones doesn't deserve a ten bell salute. That is all. TOMORROW- In Honor of the Triple Threat Title Match- ***** MATCHES! (and one not so good one) Benoit vs. Angle- RR 03 OR Michaels vs. Razor- Ladder Match- WM X OR Triple H vs. Undertaker- WM X7 I'll post RR '92 on Saturday if this gets more than two votes. If not, Sunday, bitches.

Hire La Parka and I'll let you pick this Saturday's In Depth Review match (has to be a Shawn Michaels: From the Vault match, though).

1. Mike Awesome 2. Rob Van Dam 3. Matt Hardy 4. Tajiri 5. Ultimo Dragon 6. Tommy Dreamer 7. Paul London 8. Johnny Spade 9/10. Dudley Boyz

Isn't Brock married with a kid anyways? What's he doing with Sable?

How were you able to hit the "Add reply" button if you'd shot yourself? Obviously his bleeding head fell forward onto the keyboard. His flying brain matter followed, splattering directly over top of the right keys, allowing him to minimize the window, open up another IE window, and look at random sports websites while his DSL connection took approx. three minutes to make the post.

Damn that was a long review. Anyways, THE DAY AFTER THE DAY THAT FOLLOWED THE DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY: It's a Wrestlemaniacrap Special! Gimmick Battle Royale- WMX-7 OR A Tribute to Nathan Jones- Undertaker vs. A-Train and Big Show I still owe you guys RR '92, so expect that as a prelude to WrestleMania this weekend.

Exactly. One of my favourite wrestlers is leaving. This sucks.

Quick question: Do you watch WWE shows wanting to see them fail, or do you not watch anymore yet call for their demise? I'm just wondering.

Yes, please! Screw that, I want to see Omarosa there. She's got more heel heat than 90% of the roster.

That's too bad about Haas' ankle. Hopefully it will heal in time for WM.

I can't believe a match with MR. T beat out Austin/Rock. MR. T.

Come on, Sid/'Taker!