The Mandarin

I stopped reading early when Lita didn't say "Thanks for not peeing on me" to Todd.

Benoit-Orton was dick. If you contest that fact in the next 45 minutes, I will tape that match and tell you why it was, in fact, dick. --- The rest of SD sucked too.

Those quotes were brilliant.

Holy shit, I jumped 65000 places since I last checked the scoreboard. Sweet. Why didn't I have that roster before?

Bonnar's going to remove Sam Hoger's head from his body. You heard it here first.

You can all stop typing up recaps of the show. This pretty much summed up the evening. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I thought it was better than last week's, which was approx. -****1/2, but his star rating is still accurate.

Best thing ever on the internets.

I'm going to have to change my name to HHH Makes My Score Sleep

One year from now- Christian will be in a main event program with Randy Orton for Summerslam Brock Lesnar will get his win back from Batista Booker T will retire Shawn Michaels will have fought Eddie Guerrero John Cena will have lost the World Title to Triple H There will be no Taboo Tuesday 2006 Production values will lower Kurt Angle will be a) wrestling an even slower style or b) paralyzed Eddie Guerrero will be dead

Wow.

William Regal was really over as a babyface last summer, getting what were probably the biggest pops of his career. Why the dying Eugene character wasn't pushed aside to have a potentially great Regal/HHH match at SummerSlam is beyond me.

The day Raw too gets canned heat (the repetitive kind that is very, VERY, annoying on SmackDown, Velocity and Heat) is the day I stop watching WWE television. It's the same noises, over and over. "Booo...*some kind of bird caw, pause, bird caw again*" for heels and "Ya-ayyyyyy!" for faces. It drives me insane.

"Blue Orchid" should sweep all its categories, logically, but it won't. I won't watch this show. Or the replay. Or the one after that.

Knoble vs. Benoit. BOOK IT GABE Stephanie McMahon

Hogan's on Larry King right now. Nick is acting like he's mentally retarded, I swear to God.

He got ****1/4 out of KEVIN NASH.

He had a good career. Hopefully Brock comes back at SummerSlam to take his place on Raw. Or SmackDown. Whatever.

Last night's Conan repeat was abysmal. James Spader just isn't funny.

If they turned him face (easy) and didn't cut his balls off (sounds impossible for WWE, but they could write it) he could be a great, great addition to Raw in the near future. Raw could use a few more faces. They'll never do that though, and he'll be wrestling the house show circuit against Scotty 2 Hotty.

If it makes you that miserable, stop watching. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Maybe I shouldn't have thrown in the part of me being uninterested, because that's just me bitching. But seriously, I'm as pro-WWE as it gets. Why on earth would they air a show this poor?

I haven't seen an episode of Raw that poor in the past seven years. Since maybe 1997. The main event consisted of Jericho, Carlito and Cena, three people I genuinely dislike and a predictable finish with bad wrestling in between. The undercard was full of stupid "ha-ha" bits and bad music performances. The worked shoot fell flat. Shelton Benjamin, one of the only good parts of Raw, was squashed by two non-talents and given the brushoff for the ongoing Fat Man and Little Boy feud. Due to a TSN policy against airing man-on-woman violence, much of the end of Kane vs. Edge was commercials. Plus, more commercials afterwards. I think it may have been for the best. Over two shows in two days, I have never been as uninterested in WWE programming as I am now. Seriously, offer me any Raw card (with results) past December 1997 and I will tell you, in detail, why that show was more actively enjoyable than tonight's god-awful show.

67. Goldberg doesn't have one of these, now does he?

No he isn't. Did you see him during the HOF ceremony and the Greatest Superstars of the 80's DVD? "Sheek-heh" is the man. He's close, though. 28. Wrestling needs more Muslims. Praise be to Allah. 29. Hassan gets a huge babyface reaction when my friends and I watch SmackDown. The subsequent living room pop for Hassan, Daivari and terrorists is second only to Christian and maybe Eddie Guerrero.